#this is super long I just got absolutely lost in the energy and flow of their relationship | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daveeddy · 2 years

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HoH Ch. 7 recap and thought

This chapter is all about living in the moment. I really liked this one quote on the first page of the chapter that says "the present moment is all we are really guaranteed". This really resonated with me because I have made an intentional effort to be more mindful this semester and only focus on what I can control in the moment, being appreciative for what I have, and living for now. In order to do this, Lyubomirsky details 2 different overall happiness activities/goals that will help you increase your ability to live in the moment.

The first is "Increasing Flow Experiences"

This is all about entering a flow state, finding an activity that you get so lost and absorbed in, you lose track of time. In this state, people feel like they are really good at what they are doing and productive. Csikszentmihalyi believes this is one of the keys to the 'good life'. The key here is to establish a "balance of between skills and challenges". Flow is super fulfilling and is like a natural high and even better than 'hedonistic pleasures' because it is productive and productive. But we have to continually keep challenging ourselves in order to attain flow. There's a few specific ways we can work on attaining more flow. The first is to control attention. This is simply stating that to become immersed in flow, we need to get rid of distractions and become immersed in what we are doing. Essentially, control your consciousness to what you are dedicating your attention to. The next is to adopt new values. Here we basically are told to be more open to new experiences and be as curious and intrigued by a new concept/activity as a young child. The next is to learn what flows. Here you need to figure out when exactly your in a flow state, like doing a challenging project at work and then work on increasing this flow. The next is to transform routine tasks. Basically it helps when doing mundane things like waiting for the bus, to fill the time with 'microflow', stimulating activities. The next is to flow in conversation. Fully immerse yourself in a one-on-one conversation and let the other person express themselves by honing in on what they are saying by asking follow up type questions. The next is smart leisure. Be honest with how long you need to decompress and doing really nothing, and then redirect to something more productive and get back into flow. And the final is called the caveat. Do not let seemingly productive things like reading a good book consume your responsibilities to others and become addictive. REFLECTION: Just before I read this section, I was thinking about how much I wanted to be playing my favorite video game at the moment, Skate 3, and not doing this. Then the line that says sometimes we play video games to ignore our responsibilities and other positive sources satisfaction and I got a real kick out of that. It really made me focus up on my reading and think yeah you know this is good for me and I am enjoying reading this, the game can wait.

The next happiness activity/goal that increases flow states is "Savoring Life's Joys"

I absolutely loved the opening paragraph in this and the line especially that says "We postpone our happiness, convincing ourselves that tomorrow will be better than today". Savoring can be a exercise for the past, present, and future. Savor precious moments that happened, be mindful of how great things are now, and savor and reflect on how great future positive events will be. Savoring here is "any thoughts or behaviors capable of 'generating, intensifying, and prolonging enjoyment". It takes dedication and energy to truly "reappreciate" things in your life. Some specific strategies were covered. The first is to relish ordinary experiences. We need to learn how to truly appreciate the mundane, appreciate the little things in life, do not just rush through your routine, enjoy it! The next is to savor and reminisce with family and friends. Sharing positive experiences with others is always good, and it can even strengthen this positive reinforcement. The next is to transport yourself. Mentally take yourself to another place, think about a positive experience, memories, and places. The next is to replay happy days. Think about some of the greatest days of your life, reflect in super deep detail. This will result in more positive emotions over time. The next is to celebrate good news. Enjoy the wins to the absolute fullest! And super importantly, do the same for others, celebrate their achievements. The next is to be open to beauty and excellence. Basically, be in awe of beauty, allow yourself to fully take that in and reflect on it. The next is to be mindful. Be zen, be awake to the present moment, meditate, ground yourself in your present existence. The next is to take pleasure in the senses. Take delight and really savor those magical moments, not everyone gets to taste what you taste, see what you see, hear what you hear. The next is to create a savoring album. Maybe make a little scrapbook of meaningful, amazing memories to reflect on positive experiences later. The next is to savor with your camera. Teach yourself not to detach yourself from great experiences by taking photos, do not take as many as possible, truly look at what is great in the moment and capture that. The next is to seek bittersweet experiences. Mixed emotions, sadness, happiness, this mix can make us realize not everything lasts forever and to appreciate the moments had. The next is to wax nostalgic. Don't compare nostalgic, touching moments with the present, think about how they have enriched your life to this moment. The next is a caveat about writing, this note tells us not to systematically organize pleasurable experiences in writing, but to truly wander, reflect, and relish what made an experience so great. REFLECTION: I really resonated with the section on being open to beauty and excellence. I have been trying to do that so much more. I went on a hike at Signal Mountain over spring break in Chattanooga and I just made a real conscious effort not to just trudge through the hike and get there, but to stop and look at the purple flowers growing under the logs, look at the ripples of the river down the mountain, and just love nature as it is. I think as a man, this is something we're taught not to do, as being sentimental and appreciative of nature is seen as "soft", it really is toxic because life can be so beautiful.

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blutomindpretzel · 2 years

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William Solaire having a ‘consort’ who’s an absolute menace of a human. Imagine this centuries old vampire falling in love with a human who has the worst self-care habits known to man but he’s head-over-heels regardless.

They work the blood-drives for the clan, which is oddly professional of them considering their cocky personality. They organize the donations, and schedule the deliveries- all that important shit. Since the Solaire Clan is their biggest client, they’re spending quite a lot of time over there working out the details with William.

….Just hear me out for a second

They dress super professionally every time they visit Wonderworld, using knock off scents from dollar stores, and thrifted loose-fitting button downs with tight dress pants. -Bonus points if they’ve got either a black or deep red corset over a button down. Clacking dress shoes shuffling down a narrow hallway to a break room for some water + Will watching them leave.

Their whole vibe is: dumbass who’s only a dumbass on the inside but is super professional and intimidating on the outside x an old ass vampire who’s the leader of the most important clan in Dahlia- but is also just as much of a dumbass.

I’m trying to think of a name for them: like how the listeners have specific and fitting petnames- I’m thinking of Chief/Dear (Dearie/dearest)

Chief is more sarcastic or followed by a salute of some sort from William, but Dear is more sincere and romantic.

Dear works for an important branch of the department, and used to partner with Ansel and Sweetheart before strengthening the blood-drive aspect of the donations that were lacking in organization at the time. The worked their way past Jett, branching off as manager for the company. They outwardly hate how Jett runs things, they absolutely aren’t afraid to speak out about that. They literally could care less about anyone else’s feelings on the matter, all they care about it getting their job done.

Dear will admit that working with William definitely takes the edge off of working in a position such as theirs. And seeing how calmly he handles his position as king begins their admiration of the old blood.

Then Dear got involved with Quinn-

THEYRE DARLINS UNEMPOWERED FRIEND WHO GOT ATTACKED BY QUINN‼️

That’s how Dears magic manifested (much like Lovely)- they’re a gravitational energetic. (Unless you wanna change shit around that’s totally chill I’m just having fun with this)

William is more than aware of their situation, but often avoids talking about it to keep professional despite his every inkling to do the opposite. He’s blunt, but respectful.

—————————————————————————————————

William and Dear going over paperwork for scheduling the next delivery when their fingers brush as they pass the pen back and forth

Mmmmmm Dear having a bunch of scars from Quinn’s attack and William brushing his thumb over the ones on their hands.

Sam thinks they’re the best thing to happen to the clan and isn’t afraid to give Dear credit where credit is due.

William and Dear staying after-hours together just drinking and joking about work. Dear sipping whiskey and talking shit about Jett, William drinking blood from a glass and gloating about Vincent. GETTING DRUNK AND MAKING OUT.

Dear apologizing through kisses and talking about how wrong this is but never stops. His hands on their waist, guiding them closer as he presses gentle, hungry kisses to their neck. (which leave lil red lip-prints because of the blood he just had) LIKE THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY GRIPPING ONE ANOTHER

Running into shit, knocking stuff over, unbuttoning shirts to feel each other’s skin. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” “I know” *kissing* “we’re business partners- Will.” “I know” *kissing harder*

HE LOSES HIS MIND EVERY TIME THEY CALL HIM WILL IT JUST HITS DIFFERENT WHEN ITS THEM

Ugh and avoiding each other afterwards, THE CHASE UGHHH THE TENSION MUAH THE FORBIDDENNESS CHEFS KISS MUAH MUAH- THE MUTUAL PINING

- Oh yeah the clan has seen how they act around one another and yes everyone knows and yes everyone is impatient. They have “just fuck already” energy and Fred isn’t afraid to say so.

- Lovely thinks it’s incredibly charming how gentle William is with Dear, and how intimidating the two look side-by-side. AND THEY LOOK LIKE ABSOLUTE FUCKING TYRANTS WHEN THEY DO.

Dear suffers from resting bitch face, William is intimidating and knows it so he sports a quiet lil smile while in public or around the clan.

William hosting a clan ball and inviting Dear and the entirety of their branch. WILLIAM AND DEAR DANCING TOGETHER- they waltz and it is truly the most captivating dance the clans ever seen like the whole fucking floor clears:

The intensity in their stare as they glide across the ballroom floor, how they never once look away from each other. William is smirking a little but Dear is just stone-faced. They’re so lost in Williams piercing silver gaze, and the feelings for the vampire king that they never wanted. In their head it feels so wrong, their body is begging them to get off the floor- but their heart is simply aflame as he holds them gently and stares into their eyes.

Dear is absolutely hypnotized by this man, that they just let him guide them wherever he wanted. The song could play for eternity, and their heart wouldn’t miss a single beat.

#redacted asmr #redacted william #william solaire #redacted dear #original listener character *dear*#okay I’m in love with this now currently yearning for business partners to lovers who are so passionate rn rn rn rn plsssss #this is super long I just got absolutely lost in the energy and flow of their relationship #CONSORT WHO WORKS FOR THE BLOOD DRIVE FOR A VAMPIRE KING???? COME ON THATS PERFECT LET ME HAVE THIS WIN ALR???#redacted audio #summoning the William solaire stans with this post fr

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sugar-petals · 4 years

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SuperM: Their Orgasm Faces

a/n. i’ve written the same scenario for bts and thought this is perfect for these guys as well 💦

warnings ⚠️ multiple rounds, masturbation, loud sex, crying

➸ Taemin Constant little trembles. Puffy lips and a huge back arch. Softly moving hips that know exactly what they’re doing, reacting to your every touch. Balmy moans for the gods, they’re such a giant turn-on. His face looks so soft and relaxes into the pleasure without restraint. And my god, the hair. It’s like an old Italian painting. The voice is just as indulging — all those little “ha...” noises he makes. So lush and super breathy. Long story short: He looks perfect in the unlikely case someone forgot. What more can I tell you. He’s broadcasted it to the entire world at this point. In fact, isn’t Taemin’s entire cinematic work a silk and satin-laced compilation of o-faces? Even his haters can’t deny that. He has the perfect variety, perfect sensuality. Never out of place, never too feeble nor too much. He doesn’t just show that to you in bed, he truly owns it. Taemin’s orgasms are really drawn out, it’s the most amazing spectacle. So much to see: And you never know when the first one ends and the second one starts. He’s that erotic and completely swayed by you. If there’s one person completely in tune with his arousal and amps it up to the maximum, and takes you higher yourself with him, that’s Lee Taemin. He cums more beautifully than anyone you’ve ever seen. Fuck, it feels like you have to write him a ten-page thank you letter for being able to witness that. One word suffices: he’s fantastic.

➸ Taeyong You won’t believe it. He is so handsome, but he tries to hide his face. Or buries his hands in his hair, and twists himself to the side. Sometimes, into a pillow. Othertimes, a blanket or a sleeve. Taeyong doesn’t like his pleasure being seen. He’s not just shy; he’s reserved, delicately cautious. He’d rather have his hair fall into his face and conceal all the sweet emotions that surface. His lips are tightly shut and more often than not, he looks away. Even when he’s by himself getting off to the thought of you, he can’t keep his head up. It’s a shame, but you also figure it’s because he gifts himself to you to be very protected, not judged or consumed. Taeyong needs your guidance and strength. That’s why you hug him and let his face rest in the crook of your neck, and it becomes his favorite spot to lean into when he’s coming. Taeyong is more reassured this way. His eyebrows raise and he’s giving you the most heavenly whimpers. It overwhelms him every time. But that’s the place where he can finally moan it out. His voice is so gorgeous, and desperate, and full of gratitude towards you. When he really trusts you, he’s — god — actually grunting in his deep voice and sometimes meets your eye fleetingly. Or sucks in air and holds it before his whole body erupts. Oh my god. Those thighs are gonna go through an entire earthquake. Truth be told: NCT didn’t lie when they sang about a volcano, did they.

➸ Jongin Come on. The main dancer who has his face all up in a camera every stage, making people worldwide bust a nut by just raising a corner of the mouth. If there’s one person with the best, most intense facial expressions? It’s Kai all the way. Just throw the OSCAR right at him. Matter of fact, we all know he is the king of being absolutely stunning in bed. Jongin always looks like he wants to take you in completely, his entire upper body goes forward. His eyes are deep and glistening, but not fully mysterious. First and foremost they’re hundred percent passion just as you’d expect from him. The brows, the fucking brows! The lips, mumbling, and the jaw is in motion even if you wouldn’t pay attention to it at first. And by contrast, he looks more in love than anyone else. Can we appreciate how romantic Kai’s vibe is? How does he do it? He yearns and calls you babe, the entire face feels twitching and shaky. As if he was suffering from being so enamoured, but it feels so good to him. Every new thrust makes his expression change a bit. How he’s allowing himself to feel you literally paints a living story on his features. Toward the middle and the end of his climax, Kai looks so vulnerable and lost in the pleasure that you gave him or he gave himself. It’s almost like he is underwater. If you ever look into those dreamy eyes... Kai’s orgasm face will put an actual spell on you. Have a guess. The spell is called: Make you even hornier and throw your fucking head back from all that good stuff.

➸ Mark Yeah, uh-oh. The bomb is going off right here. It feels like Mark didn’t fuck for literal months every time even if you had sex the other day. His jaw is hanging open throughout. The eyes wide. Lips shivering, only a little. A bit of saliva is pooling just there. Then, his head falls forward. Hair in his eyes, brows clenched toward the middle. He looks like he can’t believe it, he’s helpless to the power it has over him. His orgasm darts through his body like a thunderbolt. You got it, sex with Mark is exactly that, so electric. It arrives fast and it’s over fast. And it’s massive, catches him off guard so often. A big, sweeping “Ah—h!” that carries him away like a tidal wave. Who’s the living super car in SuperM? That’s Mark Lee who goes through his climax like he’s watching a train speed by. What can he do but curse himself and moan. Something is possessing this poor man. His face looks like he has to keep up with his own damn reflexes. Can you imagine how hard his body is going to clutch if he just cums in one go? And if he tries to kiss you during that? What the fuck Mark! He just never calms down, does he. Or wait — fast forward... oh wonder: He falls asleep only minutes after. His face: now completely angelic. Mark really put all his heart and mind and cum into this one orgasm. This guy has dedication and it shows. He always delivers you one hell of a show. Rumor has it you have a couple videos of it on your phone.

➸ Baekhyun Clenches his teeth so hard. The first you’ll hear is a loud and whiny “nnh!” in the buildup. And that’s when you know he can’t go back. The entire neck seems under pressure. He stares. Gasps for air. The breathing, raw as fuck. Up and down goes that chest all the way against you. In fact, he breathes the fastest in the group. His face gets so heated. All those veins come out. This guy’s blood flow is a new level. Releasing tons of stress and energy. His eyes are squeezed shut as soon as it begins because it’s so strong and relieving, it’s borderline painful. He couldn’t speak for the first five seconds even if he tried. Only the second wave brings out a stifled chain of moans that he surrenders to. On some days, he even starts crying from relief. It takes minutes upon minutes until he cools off entirely. Baekhyun is so orgasmic, he’s all splayed out on the bed afterwards or deeply engrossed in your embrace for endless cuddles. I’m telling you. Should you ever get a second orgasm out of him, he’s gonna be reduced to a puddle. A shaking, sobbing mess that can’t stop wailing. There’s only begging for more in these eyes. It goes without saying that you need the most sound-proof room there ever was because he is at the top of his voice. Baekhyun being loud for you is a natural staple. PS: Mark my words. Should you get him to a third orgasm, he’s gonna be screaming without a pause and his fucking tongue is hanging out.

➸ Yukhei As if he can ever stop wiggling his brows at you. Did you expect he just lets loose and rolls his eye back? No, no. He keeps looking right at you until the end. Full Xuxi confidence and charisma at play. Lots of nicknames coming at you, he’s gonna say them all. That level of eye contact is gonna get you going big time. You know how large and wonderful his eyes are, like a doe’s. Lucas hardly closes them unless it comes to getting blowjobs. Where he’s gonna look at you very intensely most of the time anyway. Lucas tries to not let the sensations overcome him so he remains present with you. He never really seems like he indulges all the way like Taemin or Kai would. The whole thing is pretty suspicious because he doesn’t fully ease into your interplay of movements. Guess why... at any point, he’s invested in making you cum and keeps on pulling out his magic tricks until you’re getting there. He’s gonna use those big fucking hands (he knows you love ‘em) and goes on and on until he has you there. Yukhei’s personality is all over the place, but he has steely concentration during sex. Not to mention the technique. He’s even gonna go for pushing his hair back as a killing part. No mediocre, he’s doing the most. After all: Lucas cums the best if he just saw you losing it or you’re on the way. Synchronizing your orgasms is difficult, but he puts all his focus into achieving just that. Yukhei is an expert in how close you are after a while, and even starts letting himself fall back into the sheets below you when you release together.

➸ Ten Perfectly understated. Lids heavy, lips opened just a bit. Elegant, almost, and chesty in tone. He’s the connoisseur. My god. It’s the most gentlemanly someone could ever cum. His forehead is so sweaty as is his hair and back, because if Ten fucks he does it properly, but still. He’s so calm. He could be in your arms for more than half an hour and be fully composed. The focus and self-control is just phenomenal. Completely in the moment, not missing a heartbeat. Which is such a hard thing to do but it’s effortless with him. Ten knows the value of moderation and tension. He’s not keeping his groans in for the whole time and only moans when he comes. Not at all. It’s a different story with him. It all builds up perfectly and comes out freely whenever. He’s actually pretty close to singing, his voice accompanies his breathing in ideal sync. So melodic. Ten is all smitten by you. Nothing is kept in. He looks at you so fondly, he enjoys himself so much. So, it becomes a beautiful loving serenade. His face doesn’t make any sudden or extreme contortions either. The expression moves and changes very slowly, is very easy on the eye. Every minute with him is fulfilling. Ten is all wrapped up in the mood and the groove like it’s business. Prepare to lose your fucking mind, these are new levels of feeling good. Not one awkward moment, just making love. Oh my god are you lucky.

art: The Great Wave off Kanagawa (1829-33) — by Hokusai

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ourstarscollided · 4 years

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jatp fanworks appreciation - day 1 (writers)

motivation - so in true me fashion and my aversion to brevity, i've made three (3) posts (see also artists, gifs/edits) to celebrate the wonderful people in this fandom who have made my jatp tumblr experience what it is; a community of people who simply shout into the void about their love of a ghost band and their fearless female leader. i've enjoyed simply being on the sidelines admiring everyone's love for the show, but i thought this would be a good time to really show my appreciation for all these wonderful people, because if i've learned anything from this pandemic, it's that there is NEVER a wrong time to tell someone that they are simply ✨the best✨.

disclaimer: i don't interact with most of these people personally and i simply absorb their content from afar and scream about how wonderful they are in the tags.

This list kind of became a fic rec, so if you're looking for some wonderful fics to read (or reread), I've also included my favs from the author here as well.

Okay this is gonna get a little long so please bear with me. But I just wanted to preamble this by saying that the fanfiction written by the jatp fandom is what resparked my love for reading fiction after about 3-4 years of not reading for leisure (be an adult they said. it'll be fun they said.). So I'm really grateful for that? I don't interact with a lot of people, just because it makes me a little anxious, but I will constantly yell about your content in the tags as if I were on a set of bleachers with a megaphone.

I also know there are so many wonderful fic writers out there (on Tumblr and not on Tumblr) that make amazing pieces of work, and this is just a tiny peek into that, and is not at all conclusive.

Without further ado here are some writers who live rent free in my head, in alphabetical order, so feel free to just skip to your name to avoid my rambling:

@bluefirewrites -> your Merry Ex-Mas fic had me on the edge of my seat every single time you updated. I am so in love with how you wrote the characters into this and at how many words you churned out for this fic. This was filled with so much adventure, and it was really welcome during a time when the world wasn't allowed to travel. And I simply love all the other drabbles and fics you write, but I especially enjoy the hilarity of Ray Molina, Crime Scene Photographer and Matchmaker.

@captainkippen -> I'm pretty sure Love Drunk was one of the first fics I ever read in this fandom. Your stories and your writing feel so goddamn real and I find myself so immersed in the worlds that you've created. I have reread most of your jatp fics and I still manage to find myself stupidly grinning at my phone each time. Your stories flow so easily and are such perfect characterizations of the characters we know from the show, but elevated to fit into your verse. I cannot say enough how wonderful your writing is and how talented you are!! (also a slight nudge that I am still very much following along with The Key and the Crown and I hope you continue it!)

@catty-words -> Your???? Exhaustive??? Music??? Lists???? The amount of work and dedication and microanalyzing that you put into pulling out every detail from each scene is so admirable. You not only manage to find the details, but you also give us EVIDENCE via your intricately selected gifs. You could've just put the video of the performance, but no, you take your time to find that specific 1 second shot to emphasize your point. And your little fics that you sometimes throw out into the world? They're so beautiful, and so fun to read and I enjoy them so much! (I am STILL screaming about this band's a snack) Thank you for validating my yelling in the tags, and for feeding my hyperfixation to this show. (I'm sad these lists are ending soon, but it's about the journey ya know?)

@lydias--stiles -> I don't even know what to say here because I've yelled so much about your fics that I feel like there's really nothing else to yell. Your Road Trip AU was also one of the first ones I read in this fandom, and really just made me go absolutely feral. Pretty sure I absorbed the rest of your fics in an ungodly amount of time and I just simply think you are incredibly skilled and talented. Every time you post a new fic I always wonder what it's like to be in your head because the ideas you come up with are so unique and so well thought out. Thank you for all the art you create for this show, I will constantly be in awe of you. (Special shoutout to the 5+1 fic that became a 31 chapter monster)

@pearlcaddy -> This list would not be complete if I didn't mention you. First of all, thank you for suggesting this wonderful week, it has been so lovely to see so much love being spread around today. Secondly, I never thought I'd find myself reading a Buffy or a Wizarding World crossover fic, considering I know nothing about those two things. And yet I found myself on various nights after work at 3 in the morning just silently screaming and/or crying into my phone. Your writing is so insane. Your world building is so insane. Your banter/dialogue is insane. The way you capture the love between Julie/Luke in different universes is so perfect. Thank you for gifting us these beautiful pieces of art, and I hope you know that you have at least made one person (me) a very happy reader. I also really admire your dedication to "this will only be a oneshot", only to write like 4 other POVs for it. (Special shoutout to 100 Bad Days)

@ruzek-halstead -> Literally every single fic you have written lives rent free in my head. The way you've managed to build this universe of different Julies and Lukes, and each one still captures the essence of them is astounding. You've extended their characters beyond what we know from the show and I am just in awe of everything you write. Please know that dead of night is both triggering to me and yet the most hilarious thing I have read. (Special shoutout to the Fake Dating Christmas AU and of course the Cinderella Story AU)

@serendipitee -> Your stories and your writing are absolutely magical. I think Write It Down was one of the first multi-chapter fics that I followed super closely and whenever you updated, I would literally drop what I was doing and read it instantly. You have such a way of building the plot and the characters for all of your fics and drabbles, and making the reader just want more. Please know that I am so obsessed with Oh, She Waltzed With the Dead and I cannot wait to see where you take the story!

@sunsetcurbed -> I have no words for your writing. I am simply in awe every time I read something from you. The way you've got down Alex and Willie's voice to a tee is so crazy good. You write their characters and their stories with such grace and care, especially with how you approach the topic of mental health. Thank you for all the research you do and for also writing in your own experiences. I literally binged the Princes Diaries AU during work and lost a good half day to it, and I regret nothing because that fic left me in SHAMBLES. I secretly adore the way you say you're going to keep a fic short, and end up writing an insane amount of words for it. (I have not yet left my obligated long-ass comment on Chapter 4 of the College AU yet because I am still processing the fate/destiny concept.)

@tangledstarlight -> Gahh. Rosie. Please. This is going to sound a little repetitive considering I just screamed at you last night, but now I guess I will just have to publicly confess my adoration for you!!! Thank you for being my first online friend in a very long time, and for putting up with me yelling at you about everything (and also nothing at the same time). I can't believe all it took was one message about your Royals AU for you to post it, but I will gladly take that credit any day. You are so so so incredibly talented with your writing, and your ability to transport me to another world while I read your fics is unparalleled. I adore the way you can come up with a new story to write every day, and then proceed to throw it into your pot of other WIPs. I am so so so so lucky to have gotten to know you and am incredibly grateful that I now have someone to cry about everything with 🧡 (If you read anything from Rosie, you need to read her Seasons/Long Distance Juke "friendship" fic and the Reggie x Photography oneshot that made me bawl my eyes out.)

@thedeathdeelers -> No thoughts. Just soulmates. Jk jk, you know I love your Reggie x Ray x Carlos fics, and I will scream in the tags about it until the day I get more of those fics from you. This is lowkey a threat, but wrapped in kindness. You are so wonderful to see on my dash (albeit scary at times because of the sheer amount of headcanons and theories running through your head), but you radiate such positive energy that it's impossible to not want to jump in and scream about soulmates with you.

Some special mentions to fics that also live rent free in my head:

@sunsetsandcurves wrote a Willex Cruise Ship AU inspired by a Simple Plan song and it’s something I never knew I needed until I read it.

@phantom-curve wrote a Juke fic based off of Coney Island and I would just like to say, yes, it did shatter me. (Here’s the fluff sequel that makes up for it though)

@unsaidjulie wrote the Juke dog fic of my dreams and I simply cannot express how much I want the Molina’s to have a dog now.

@pawprinterfanfic managed to get me incredibly invested in a Star Wars AU even though I know absolutely nothing about Star Wars. I just know that I would die for two (2) space boys.

@sanssssastark your Later universe made me realize that I do very much want there to be more mature content for this fandom (and you constantly deliver).

@theobligatedklutz wrote a Tangled Willex AU that makes me screech every time there’s an update. Just read it.

@alexthedrummerboy your talent knows no bounds when it comes to your Social Media AU. Also she’s written ORIGINAL songs for Alex and Willie?!?!?!

@gennified has this really wonderful modern take on pride and prejudice for Willex and I’m so obsessed with how much miscommunication there is.

@bananaleaves okay, I just found your Tumblr today, and I know you don’t know me in any capacity, but allow me to scream about THIS FIC RIGHT HERE. If anyone in this fandom is to read ANYTHING, it’s this fic. This was one of the best things I’ve read in a long time and absolutely wrecked me. Please just read this.

This turned out WAY longer than it was supposed to, and I’m SO SORRY. (I also tried to make sure I got everyone’s pronouns right, so PLEASE let me know if they’re wrong!) A final sincere thank you to everyone in this fandom who writes. Your talent knows no bounds. Gonna stop talking now before this becomes an essay....

#jatp fanworks appreciation week #fic rec #if i realize that i've missed someone i'm gonna bite the bullet and send an ask to you okay. i will not let my anxiety STOP ME FROM #YELLING HOW MUCH I LOVE PEOPLE'S WRITING!!#idk what else to tag this other than i genuinely think this show saved my mental health and so have all the fic writers.#gonna post this now before i chicken out oky aklfwjepofae #motivation monday

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saffronwritings · 3 years

Text

C L U M S Y | S H I N S O U PT.3

S H I N S O U | P A R T T H R E E (Final)

I let you down I've been clumsy with your heart again

C L U M Y M A S T E R L I S T

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: This started off shorter and then I redid one of the segments and welp here we are at 4.3k words. Oops! It’s not favoritism I promise. This is the “final” part to Shinsou’s CLUMSY series! I really hope you all enjoy! I’ll make a post asking what you all want to see next! :)

Denki couldn’t remember what time Shinsou told him to meet up with him after his training with Aizawa-sensei, so he figured he was going to just sit outside of the gym until he saw his purple haired friend exit the locker rooms. It had become almost routine for the two to have after school hangouts, mainly so Shinsou could relax after a long day. Kaminari helped fill the void that he felt without being able to see you. Though, Shinsou was guilty that it had distracted him from talking to you on occasion. While Kaminari was sporadic and chaotic, it helped ease the stress that Shinsou was constantly under.

However, Kaminari was surprised when he noticed the gym door was left wide open. Usually when he had ventured over to this part of UA, he would notice that the doors were closed. A privacy thing so that the students didn’t feel pressured or on-lookers wouldn’t intimate the said student. Had Aizawa-sensei cancelled his practice with Shinsou for the day? He was acting very strange the entire course of the day. He was extra grumpy and even before coming to check in on his friend, he had particularly felt bad for Shinsou having to deal with his sensei’s foul mood.

Curiosity got the better of the blonde boy, Denki decided to peek inside the small private gym, the ones teachers used to mentor students in, only to see Shinsou standing against a wall with his face pale and expression shocked. Shinsou had looked like he had either seen a ghost or had been told someone close to him had died. This immediately made the blonde worry for his new friend. He had looked around cautiously to see if Aizawa was still in the room. When it showed that it was only the two boys just sitting in absolute silence, that is when Kaminari decided to speak up to figure out what was going on. “Oi Shinsou, is everything-” The blonde started to say before Shinsou let out a scream of frustration. It reverberated a chill down Kami’s spine, making him flinch back.

Suddenly gym equipment started to fly across the room in haphazardly ways. His screams and shouts continued while he was heaving equipment left and right. “I’VE WORKED SO HARD.” Shinsou shouted in his fit of rage. “I HAVE WATCHED UNWORTHY STUDENTS SIT IN LUXURY.” Kaminari sat in a state of shock, watching his new friend seemingly lose his mind. He wanted to go and comfort his friend, but he was afraid he was going to lash out on him as well. He opted to just let him get all of his emotions out, even if it wasn’t in a healthy manner. “I PUSHED SO MANY PEOPLE AWAY FOR A SLIVER OF A CHANCE TO PROVE MYSELF.” He spewed again, not noticing the tears starting to stream down his face. He had thrown everything within a few feet radius as hard as he could across the smaller gym room.

He had looked over to Kaminari who was just standing there awkwardly, watching him, judging him. However, Shinsou was so out of breath he wasn’t sure if he even had any energy left to yell at the blonde for looking at him with such pity in his eyes. “I don’t know what’s going on, dude, but maybe you should take a breather before you hurt yourself.” Kaminari spoke cautiously, trying to not provoke Shinsou further. “You don’t get to tell me when to calm down! You don’t understand, you’ve had the privilege to just BE in the hero course!” Shinsou shouted at him, his eyes filled with both tears and rage. “But, you’re doing so well with your training! You were just talking to the support class to design your new gear!” Kaminari still tried to direct the conversation in a positive manner.

The two had just discussed how he was getting one of the girls in the support class to design a vocal chord changing mask. Kaminari was super blown away with the idea of being able to change voices in order to trick their opponents. While Shinsou might have lacked the psychical strength, he was always good at diverting and making a plan for success. “It doesn’t even matter now! Don’t you get it deadbolt!? I not only lost my shot at joining the hero course but I also lost the girl I loved by pushing her away for this opportunity” Shinsou’s voice strained out, it being raspy from screaming and shouting.

The blonde’s eyes widened in shock, realizing the situation at hand in front of him. He was watching Shinsou have a breakdown because for some reason, he had lost his mentor-ship with Aizawa. “What? What happened? You were doing great with your training!” Denki had pointed out making Shinsou flinch in embarrassment from those words. “Don’t you think I know that?!” The purple haired boy cried, clutching his chest in desperate attempts to not let his heart fail him now. Kaminari had also picked up on his specific wording, the girl he loved. Had he gotten into a fight with you the night before? As far as he was concerned, the two of you were fine. You guys had plans to meet up after practice the prior day.

“Can’t you just fix all of this then?” Kaminari’s comment made Shinsou turn very angrily towards him. “If I could, do you think I would make this big of a mess and yell so loudly? Do you think I would have gone into a fit of rage, destroying the gym if i could just FIX it? I can’t, you dumbass! I screwed up big time!” Shinsou cried out more, finally admitting his defeat. His knees crashed to the ground and he fell over onto his hands. He couldn’t stop himself from breaking down completely in front of Kaminari.

Kaminari knelt down next to him, placing a gentle hand onto the boy's back. Shinsou wouldn’t have noticed though, his entire body felt numb. He felt like he was plunging into a sea of darkness, swarmed with all his insecurities and doubts that he was ever good enough in the first place for such opportunities. With each gasp of air he took, he could feel himself drowning further into the waters that flowed over him like a flooding hurricane. Everything he worked for, everything he was aiming for was now just stripped from him.

You always kept him afloat with positive words that always helped him breach the waters that tempted to drown him. Like a ripping current he was being dragged under so quickly it was hard to breath. Kaminari was full of panic himself, watching Shinsou progress in his panic attack without fully knowing what to do. He wasn’t like Kirishima who could easily bring comfort to those in states like this. The blonde was tempted to go get help from one of his other friends but he was afraid of leaving Shinsou alone.

What had he done that had gotten him kicked from the mentoring program and had made him lose you?

…

“Stop right there, Shota.” Hizashi’s voice rang from down the hallway of the teacher’s lounge. Aizawa was still steaming with fury that he hadn’t noticed how far away from the training gyms he was. He came to a halt to see the older blonde glaring at him. “You took that way too far. I don’t know the extent of what your daughter said on the phone, but hurting Shinsou that badly wasn’t justified.” He started spewing, getting angrier through his sentence. Aizawa narrowed his eyes at his friend. “He broke her heart.” The tired teacher said through gritted teeth. “You didn’t hear how upset she was over the phone. I’ve heard her get like that once and that was after the USJ incident with the league of villains.”

“Teenagers go through breakups and fights all the time.” Hizashi tried to reason with him. “You don’t have a daughter, Hizashi.” Aizawa quickly countered. “You wouldn’t know what it’s like to hear your son or daughter call to you for help, sounding like they barely slept the night before.” Shota knew he was going way over the top, but if there was anything he would do, it was for the sake of his daughter.

His daughter wasn’t a planned idea, but there was nothing on the planet that Aizawa could love more. There was a reason he had made living arrangements and let little know about his daughter. The last thing he needed was for the league of villains to find out about you and to attempt to take you away from him. “No, but I know that you just crushed every hope that kid had for joining the hero course. Instead of punishing the poor kid who hasn’t been given a chance since he got here, why not help him out?” Hizashi started to try and reason with him.

“Help him out? After he hurt my daughter?” Aizawa growled through his gritted teeth. He could feel the headache forming in his temples from the day. He spent it so angrily, so filled to the brim with frustration. It was like he was getting hit multiple times in the chest with blow after blow. “You don’t even know what happened between the two! For all you know it could have been a misunderstanding. The last thing you want is for there to be no hope for your daughter to be able to make things up with the boy because you scarred him.”

For once, Hizashi had a really good point. As much as it pained him to agree with the obnoxious blonde, he knew he was right. “I’m sure your daughter would appreciate the effort set forth by you.” He continued to push, making a groan leave Aizawa’s throat. “Fine, fine. If it will get you off my back, and if you really think this is a good idea, then I’ll go make things right. If not, I will not hesitate to hang you over a pool of sharks.” Aizawa threatened, making Hizashi smile widely at him.

Hizashi treaded lightly behind Aizawa to make sure he would stay true to his word. The last thing he needed was for the man to slump over and fall asleep before missing his chance to fix things with Shinsou. He didn’t want to tell Aizawa, because he knew it would make him feel even worse about the situation, but he knew Shinsou had a soft spot for Eraserhead. The way the kid watched in admiration whenever he would explain something to the student said volumes.

Aizawa was not happy about having to be the one to confront the boy who broke his daughter’s heart. Damn that loud mouthed Hizashi for bringing his daughter into the mix. He knew he was right but that didn’t make him any less happy about the situation. In no time flat he made it back to the gym only to notice that things were strewn about. Weights were all over the place, the sparring matt was upright against a wall instead of on the ground. He noticed Kaminari next to Shinsou, kneeled over and rubbed circles into Hitoshi’s back. He almost felt bad when he heard the soft sobbing that came from the hunched over boy. Until he took into account what he had done to his daughter.

Aizawa crossed the room and pointed for Denki to leave. The electric blonde did not hesitate to question his teacher’s instruction and left the gym quickly. Aizawa squatted down to Shinsou’s level and put a hand on his back. “Get up, kid.” He said in a husky voice, before standing up. Shinsou’s eyes shot open and his head shot up to look at him. Surprise and confusion flooded his face as he wasn’t sure why the teacher of class 1-A had come back to him.

“Kaminari, if you don’t scram from eavesdropping from around the corner I will not hesitate to flunk you on your next upcoming exam.” Aizawa shouted loud enough so that his lingering student could hear. Both Aizawa and Shinsou heard shoes scuttling away from the door and down the hallway. He was about to tell Hizashi the same thing, but Shinsou had interrupted his thought process by saying, “Why did you come back?” Shota had noted his tone was defeated, and almost filled with hopelessness.

“I was too harsh, I was overcome with my own emotions of protecting my daughter and lashed it out on you. You are a bright student and one that deserves a second shot.” Aizawa started to explain, rubbing the back of his neck. “Why didn’t you tell me Y/N was your daughter? I had been dating her for well over a year. You had to know what you were signing up for when taking me on as my mentor.” Shinsou questioned quickly, obviously still very confused from the situation.

“I wanted to make you a hero good enough to protect her.” Aizawa admitted, shaking his head at his own thoughts. “I don’t know what you said to her to make her so upset she called me crying, but you need to fix it. However, being my daughter, she’s a stubborn headed mess. If I personally don’t help you, you may not have a shot of fixing it.” Shinsou’s eyes lit up with just a tad bit of hope. “You’re helping me?” Shinsou’s voice came out in a whisper. “In this regard, yes. If you think I’m going to be cleaning your mess here, you are sorely mistaken.” Aizawa said, however, Shinsou could hear a bit of playfulness in his tone.

…

You had been tempted to try and communicate with Shinsou after the blow-up the two of you had. However, judging on the last text you sent him, he had your number blocked. Even if he had unblocked your number, wouldn’t he have tried to reach out and make things better? This wasn’t the first quarrel the two of you had, obviously not to this degree. It had never gone on this long. The realization dawned on you the night before you were supposed to get together with your father, that maybe Shinsou was serious about not wanting you around while he went through his training.

It didn’t help lessen the blow in the slightest bit. It felt like someone was stepping on your chest and every time you felt like maybe you had some semblance of a grasp on your own emotions, the foot would step down harder. You felt crippled without Shinsou in your life. Your phone felt like it had less purpose, even if you had texted a few of your other friends to attempt to try and fill in the void that Shinsou had left. You had missed the late night texts, staying up video calling with him and seeing the sleep slip further from his eyes during his studies. Your grades this past week alone had slipped quite quickly as you were unable to focus on a single word a teacher was saying.

Your zombielike state had concerned not only your teachers, your classmates, but also your mother. While you tried to let it seem like it wasn’t bothering you that you had lost your best friend, you knew that your mother knew you better than that. What was worse was that she was probably keeping your father up to date on the current situation. You hadn’t informed either of your parents the details of your breakup with Hitoshi, and you hadn’t planned on it. The last thing you or your family needed was your father in jail for attempting to murder a minor.

When the weekend came around, you were half-tempted to cancel on your plans with your father. You wanted nothing more than to accept the warm embrace your bed was giving you. While it was dragging you further into your pit of despair it was at least comforting. When your phone buzzed on your nightstand you weighed the options of just going back to sleep, you knew your father was persistent and would call over and over until you woke up. For a man who was tired all the time, he didn’t understand why teenagers sleep so much over weekend breaks. Groaning, you gathered all your strength to sit up in your bed and reach over to answer your phone.

“We are still on for the movies today, right kiddo?” Your father’s voice chimed not even a second after you had picked up the phone. “I was actually thinking of maybe a rain check?” You tried to push, but you could already feel him rolling his eyes on the other side of the phone. “I know you being a teenager and you probably aren’t even out of bed yet, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s not raining.” Sarcasm dripped from his lips and you wanted nothing more than to hang up and turn your phone off. You were in no mood for his antics for the day.

“I’m just not feeling up to going today, papa.” You whispered after there was silence between the two. “I figured you would feel that way. Your mother has mentioned how you have been practically among the living dead this last week.” He recounted, making you curse under your breath for knowing your mother all too well. You had hoped that maybe, just this once she was going to keep things to herself. You should have known better. “I already bought the tickets ahead of time, and I’m not taking Hizashi or your mother.” Your father warned.

“Fine, I’ll get ready. I’ll meet you at the train station?” You sighed in defeat, knowing you would not win this battle. “Sounds good to me.” He said, before both of you hung up your phones.

…

You stood at the entrance of the train station, checking your phone a few times to make sure that your dad hadn’t texted you that he was running late. You had attempted to call him twice already and he hadn’t picked up on either attempt. A sigh escaped your lips, wishing that you had just stood your ground on staying home and sleeping the weekend away. “Y/N?” If you hadn’t been frozen in place before, the voice you had memorized locked your feet into place. Suddenly your heart was racing immensely too fast and the wind felt like it was knocked clean out of your lungs.

It wasn’t even fair, the way fate had played out for you this day. Not only did you dress in just leggings and a baggy hoodie, you had chosen a hoodie that you only now registered had belonged to Shinsou. Cursing your father for following through with your request for father daughter time, you finally looked up at the purple haired boy who seemed almost sheepish. He was wearing that cursed bomber jacket that you always loved on him, a simple t shirt and a pair of baggy jeans. In other words, he at least looked a million times more decent than you had. Not to mention your hair was thrown haphazardly into a messy bun and god knows you had dark circles developing under your eyes with your lack of sleep you had gotten last week.

“You know out of the two of us for once I think you win in the department of needing some extra weekend sleep.” Shinsou tried to ease himself into conversation with you. The tension in the air was so thick that you were sure that you were suffocating on it. You had so many questions and so many emotions flooding you at once. Your mind was swirling like you were stuck on a teacup ride that you were trapped on. When Shinsou noticed your lack of response to his statement, he returned back to his awkward state of trying to figure out how to make things go back to normal.

Anything would be better than this killer silence. He hated that it looked like you hadn’t slept in over a week and hated it even more than he was the one that caused you to be like this. His guilt was suffocating him for ever causing you this much pain for being so selfish. He wanted nothing more than to pull you into his arms and to soothe your pains away. If it hadn’t been for Aizawa he wouldn’t have even been here. He would still be in his dorm, beating himself up for ever letting this distance drift you two so far apart.

“If we don’t hurry, we are going to miss our movie.” Shinsou settled on saying, before turning to walk towards the direction of the movie theater. You whipped your head up so fast in confusion, trying to stammer out a sentence that made any sense. “Wha- I mean I’m here to meet with my dad.” You finally uttered, grabbing on his jacket sleeve to get him to stop walking. Immediately, Shinsou had reverted back to his nervous nature around you like he had once done when the two of you first started dating.

“Your father gave me the tickets and wanted me to take you out as a way to apologize for my irrational behavior. I should have never snapped at you like I did or acted as immature as I did. I can’t even begin to imagine how it was for you to just be waiting for any kind of affection on my end. I blew you off after an entire month of not seeing you. I probably made it seem like I wasn’t as excited to see you, but I was too focused on my own stupidity to realize what was right in front of me.” He blurted out quickly, stepping closer into your own proximity. “I don’t deserve any kind of forgiveness, but if I didn’t try, I’m pretty sure Aizawa-sensei would personally either kick my ass or expel me.”

You were listening intently until Shinsou had mentioned your father’s last name. “Aizawa-sensei?” You reiterated, raising a shocked eyebrow at him. “Yeah, I was surprised too when I found out. I almost lost my entire chance at getting into the hero course all together because of how pissed he was at me for hurting you.” Shinsou murmured quietly. If your jaw wasn’t open in shock before, it surely was now. Had Shinsou not been standing right in front of you currently you probably would have called your father and chewed him out for his brash behavior.

However, your heart swelled when thinking about how your father had stepped in to try and fix things between you and Shinsou. It must have been why he was so insistent on you coming to meet with him today. You had to remember to shoot him a text later calling him out on his conniving ways. “I know it’s probably embarrassing, your father stepped in on the situation, but honestly if it wasn’t for him I would have never had the courage to do this.” He said, grabbing your hand to hold in his own without hesitation. His hands were ice cold like they always had been, sending a chill up your spine.

“I wanted to be a hero that you could be proud of but instead I turned into a selfish loser-” He continued, that is until you grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled his lips into your own. The chaste kiss made the nervousness melt away from both you and Shinsou. He relaxed into your touch, snaking his arms around your waist. You kissed him like you were afraid you would never get to kiss him again. When you were laying in your bed days after your fight you wanted nothing more than to be in the purple haired boys embrace. You had feared the last time you had seen him, the month before, was the last happy memory of being together. The time he had finally told you he loved you and the last time you two brushed your lips against one another's.

Tears flowed down your cheeks when the two of you had pulled away, gasping for breaths. You felt dizzy from all the overwhelming emotions you were thrown through but you wouldn’t give anything up for this moment right here. For the boy you loved more than yourself to be in front of you. He cupped your face and wiped the tears that were escaping your eyes with his calloused fingers. “I’m here, and I am not going anywhere this time. I will fight everyday to be the hero you need me to be. I love you more than anything and I hate that I had to destroy something so beautiful to realize it.” Shinsou stated, pressing his forehead against your own. You nodded while sniffling, desperately grasping your hands onto his shirt.

You threw your arms around his neck and pulled him into your embrace and he welcomed this touch. He ran his hand over your head and rubbed circles into your back. You couldn’t see but Shinsou had also started silently into your hoodie, getting intoxicated by your scent.

Aizawa smiled to himself to see the two of you entangled in each other’s embrace at the entrance of the train station. People were walking by without having the slightest of a clue as to what was going on between the two. Aizawa took out his phone and snapped a picture of the two of you in your loving embrace. You’d probably scold him for it later, but he knew you would appreciate it later in years. He would chew out Shinsou once again on Monday, before following it up with the news of participating in Class 1-A and Class 1-B’s field training. Then warning him if he ever hurt you again he wouldn’t get off so easy. However, for now, he headed back to Heights Alliance to give you two the space you desperately needed.

To be continued...? 👀

[Part One] [Part Two]

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some-dr-writings · 4 years

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Hajime and Rantaro sing to comfort their S/O

Hajime Hinata:

· You always overthought everything. No matter what you did or said, moments later you’d just think it over and over and over again. Often this cycle lead to the not so great result of you panicking turning a simple greeting to a person, into you worrying, thinking maybe you insulted the person. Your mind tended to take more pessimistic lines of thinking which certainly didn’t help.

· It was a bad habit of yours to overthink everything, but it had it’s perks. Often when others were making plans you’d realize things they never thought of. It saved you and Hajime from being caught outside during the rain when on a date more times than either of you could count. It was an aspect of you Hajime was rather found of, though he didn’t like how it troubled you sometimes.

· After years of dating Hajime knew the two best ways to help you were to either get you to think of something else, or talk out the various scenarios you came up with, you soon laughing at yourself with how extreme your imagination could go before letting go of the subject.

· Thankfully these were both things he could still do long distance. Since he joined Hope’s Peak he had to move away and live in the dormitories on campus. After school he’d call and talk with you. You’d chat about whatever either of you wanted.

· One day after school Chiaki noticed he was rather spacey and asked what was wrong. He simply said he missed his partner and wanted to chat with you, which… it was true, to an extent. He knew he couldn’t speak of it, of the experiment Hope’s Peak had offered to him, the most plain, unremarkable student at the school. An experiment that could turn him into a different person, the Ultimate Ultimate. He couldn’t tell you, but… this was a lot to take in. Even if he couldn’t tell you, he just wanted to hear you. Maybe he could give a vague scenario like his and ask for your over analysis of it. Or maybe just not think of it, just laugh about nothing and momentarily and go back to it with a clearer head later.

· He sat on his bed, just staring at his phone. Taking a deep breath, he tapped the call button. He listened to that ringing drone on in his hear, holding the device to it. One ring, two rings, three rings, fo- click. “Ah, hey Hajime. Not gaming with Nanami today?” “No, I want to be with you right now. Though you sound a bit… on edge.” “Heh, heh. Yeah, one blunder after another.” He heard the rubbing of some fabric on your end, likely you flopping onto your bed, looking exhausted as you snuggle into the pillows as you so often did when your overthinking became overwhelming, where you were just stuck in your head and couldn’t escape.

· Alright so talking through it all may be a bit too taxing for you right now, so distraction. But what to do? Send you a funny video? A meme? Maybe send you a song? Oh maybe… Maybe he could sing? That way he wouldn’t have to cut the call short, and who knows maybe he’d sing so horribly he could draw a laugh from you. Hajime didn’t have much going for him, but one thing he did have, was determination, and he was determined to help alleviate your stresses.

· Admittedly this was rather embarrassing, but if it was for you, he’d do whatever it took.

· He started off softly humming nothing in particular just, feeling his way though this new experience, he never sang or at least never sang much before this moment. Soon he opened his mouth allowing the words to some song on the radio that kept playing recently. It wasn’t perfect, he forgot the lyrics part way through and fumbled when switching to some other song with a similar sound. Though unsure what he was doing, he still tried, a stubbornness in himself he never could quite shake, even if it got him into trouble when he was little.

· Suddenly he was cut off, a sneeze startling him to silence. “Sorry Hajime.” “Huh, no, no. Don’t be sorry.” You still sounded haggard. You thanked him and started talking about the latest volume of your favorite manga series you had read that day. He should have known. He should have known that someone like him couldn’t do much. Maybe, if he were the Super High School Level singer, he truly could have eased you.

· If he were just better, more powerful in some way, he could help you. You knew how to deal with your buzzing thoughts, but he wanted to be able to do more.

· And…

· Maybe.

· Just maybe he could.

· If he were someone else.

· …

· At times, his stubbornness truly could be troublesome.

Rantaro Amami:

· Ah singing. A leisurely pass time Rantaro often did without notice. He whistled as he went about doing chores, hum as he went out for strolls, mumble lyrics of songs he knew should he hear them.

· He loved music. If he hadn’t spent his time searching for his sisters, he may have dedicated himself to music and could have become the Super High School Level Musician or DJ or something similar. But his sisters meant more than anything else to him, so his own passions were set on the back burner indefinitely till he found each and every last one. Afterall, how could he even think of pursuing that passion without those who ignited that passion in the first place.

· And you, his partner often found him partaking in this hobby. “How come you always hum so much?” “Hum? Well…” He paused for a moment, leaning against the railing, looking out to the open ocean, the salty sea air racing past flowing through his hair, tossing it about. “Heh, just like everything else, it goes back to my sisters. When they had nightmares, I’d lay next to them in bed and I’d sing. It was the only thing I could think of to sooth them.” He fell silent his gaze lingering on that crisp, clear blue before shifting back to you. “Hey, what’s wrong.” “Ah, I just… A thought just occurred to me. A random connection you might say.” You momentarily glanced away from him, your troubled expression shifting to something soft, something gentle. “Your sisters being missing. Would you call this a living nightmare?” “… I see what you’re getting at.” He slithered an arm around your waist and pulled you close, looking back to the ocean. “I guess I mostly sing and hum when my mind wanders, often to them.” “But it can’t work, right. You sang to your sisters, they didn’t sing to themselves so for you to be soothed, you need someone to sing to you.” A light blush dusted your cheeks as you nuzzled into him, humming slowly transitioning into soft singing.”

· And that was how you started singing for him. It was always at times you knew his mind wandered to them, wondering how they were, if they were safe and happy. He always smiled when you sang. He’d be a little extra affectionate, wanting to show he really, truly appreciated you and what you were doing for him. You were so amazing, he had no idea what he’d do if he lost you too, so he always held your hand, no matter where the pair of you went.

· You tried going searching with Rantaro as often as you could, but you had your own life and responsibilities to take care of so many times you had to make things work long distance. No matter what time it was for Rantaro, day or night, you’d call him as you slipped into bed, and you’d sing to him only stopping as you fell asleep. Even though you’d never hear it, Rantaro would whisper you wishes of well rest and sweet dreams before ending the call. He’d then hold the phone to his chest, goofily smiling, telling anyone near by how amazing you, his partner was. This gesture absolutely melted his heart each and every time he couldn’t keep his affection for you all bottled in, he had to tell someone!

· Though he wished to find his sisters more than anything, coming back to you was always a treat, he could finally shower you in all the love and affection you deserved. But one time when he reunited with you- “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” “Sorry, just…” A deep sigh escaped you as you slightly went limp. “it’s been a real long day.” He hugged you, unable to continue looking into your dewy eyes.

· The moment he could, he coaxed you to bed, having you rest your head in his lap and there you let out all the madness that had been swirling around you. He had to do something to at least alleviate your pain in the moment. He didn’t even think about it, it was simply instinctive. And so, he sung. He sung your favorite song hoping to sooth you.

· Which it did?

· He was confused hearing you trying to hold in a laugh. “What’s gotten you so giggly?” “N-no, no, ignore me. Keep singing.” And so he did, but once more stopped when you burst into laughter. “S-sorry, sorry!” “Y/N… I only ever told you I sang to sooth my sisters, right? Well, I never said I was any good at singing, and what’s more soothing than laughter?” So his serenade continued, belting out without holding back, making up silly lyrics when he couldn’t recall the real ones, his tone constantly wavering making you think he were tone deaf. Normally something like this would be grating on the ears but he put so much energy and passion into it, it couldn’t help but become endearing in some form.

· Though he loved it, he was not good at singing, but he didn’t care. Good or bad, it helped you and his sisters, and that was all that mattered to him.

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wannabe-fic-writer · 4 years

Text

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Escape

Summary: The Red Room haunts you, from the moment you stepped foot inside to long after you’ve left. Truth is, you don’t think there is any escaping it.

Warnings: 18+ Violence, Depression, Mentions of Death, Smut

Chapter 4

******

Things after the snap happened pretty orderly and quite fast. In no time you all were back in New York at the compound which was deserted.

The team wasted no time looking for solutions and checking in every possible way to ensure that half the population was actually gone. Which it was. Half all living things on earth got snapped.

Including half the team. While there had been the slightest bit of lifted spirits when Tony was brought back by Carol, the darkness returned after the mission to The Garden.

With no hope of getting everyone back once the stones were destroyed, the team killed Thanos and returned to the compound.

It was so incredibly clear how much each and every last person on the team loved and cared for each other.

Even though you hadn’t been attached to anyone on the team it did suck entirely to see them get snapped and then watch the other half fall apart.

Their parting was gradual.

The first person to leave was Thor. The god didn’t stick around long. Not only did the last of his people need him, he also wasn’t in the right head space.

Steve and Natasha had mentioned how much he lost before and after Thanos so it was no surprise that he was pretty depressed.

Having experienced it yourself, you saw the signs. Little by little he stopped sleeping, started eating a lot, and then just got incredibly quiet. One day you looked up and he was gone.

You couldn’t deny that you were worried about him. But there wasn’t much you could do, so you just hoped his people were able to help him.

Tony left next. Though he stuck around for a month or two to get better. Over that time you’d had a few conversations with him, which didn’t reveal much apart from his sarcastic and aloof ways.

What made you two closer was your knowledge of Science and Technology. He was thoroughly surprised to find out how much you knew. All of which came from being around HYDRA scientists and being force fed knowledge in the Red Room.

Little moments in the lab with the billionaire genius included light banter, the occasional joke, and a lot of competitiveness.

You hated saying goodbye to your new found friend but you were overly use to people leaving so you hugged him and his fiancé and went on as if nothing had changed.

Bruce left after. Every so often the doctor had joined you and Tony in the lab.

Knowing very little of his history with Natasha made it slightly easier to get to know him, but there was always a lingering air of tension between you two. You both had/have feelings for the incredible woman and that couldn’t be ignored.

The conversation about it came unexpectedly while you were working on new security measures for the compound.

Tony had enlisted you and Bruce to do it, which left the two of you in the lab for hours on end.

You are tinkering with metal plates meant to withstand bullets and 1 kiloton when the man drops his tools and sighs.

Metal clanging interrupts the silence and you look up at him.

“Look Y/N, I know you have feelings for Nat, I can’t blame you, she’s amazing, and I know you know I have feelings for her. I just hope you don’t hate me for it.”

You raise a brow,“ why would you assume I hate you?”

“Well you- we haven’t-” The doctor stammers over his words nervously.

As you walk over to the man you realize how soft you’re starting to become around these people.

Making friends and comforting people is not your thing but there was something about being around the team, the way they were with each other, it’s hard not to start to feel that way for them.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, you squeeze it,“ I don’t hate you Bruce. If not for the last few weeks I’d barely know you. Quite frankly I think you’re pretty damn cool, if not a little dorky.”

He chuckles and shakes his head.

“And as you mentioned, I can’t blame you for having feelings for Natasha. She’s a badass and she’s intelligent and surprisingly funny, sweet, and-”

“You love her.” He stops you.

That is not something you’ve admitted. You’re sure Natasha knows, or she knew at least. Then again maybe she didn’t.

“Wh- I- how’d you-”

Bruce nods,“ you do. Which is good. I think Natasha deserves someone who loves her.”

“She has that. All of you love her, you included Mister Banner.”

His silence piques your curiosity.

“Spit it out doctor.”

“I’m not sticking around Y/N. I can’t. It’s too much being here and constantly being reminded of-”

You nod,“ I get it. Really.”

“Just, don’t bail on her like I am.”

“I won’t.” Moving back to your work you add,“ just don’t leave without saying goodbye to her. She’ll understand.”

Apparently that conversation is all you two needed. The tension was no longer there. Even though you weren’t all laughs and smiles now, it was still a much better atmosphere.

The time ticks away easily, a couple more hours passing, before Natasha is coming into the lab.

Her green eyes narrow at the two of you, surprised to find you side by side working on the same thing as conversation flowed.

“Do you two plan to sleep in here?” She breaks you from your concentration.

Looking up at the red head you frown and glance at the clock.

2:14

“Oh shit. I didn’t realize how late it is.” You turn around and wash your hands,“ Bruce, maybe we can finish up later?”

While you did need to finish, you didn’t need Bruce to do it. Your question was more so to figure out if he’d still be here or not.

He looks over at you,“ not sure. I’ll let you know.”

“Okay. In the mean time, I am in dire need of food. Anybody else?”

Both Bruce and Natasha follow you into the kitchen.

Even in his absence Tony manages to take care of you all. He has people come in every so often to fully stock the kitchen and you make it a point to send a thanks when he does.

The options are seemingly endless, but your culinary skill isn’t so you find the ingredients for a simple pasta meal.

“I hope you guys are cool with Alfredo.”

“That sounds great.”

Steve’s voice just barely startles you, and also causes you to look for Bruce and Nat. Who aren’t around anymore.

“They were walking out when I came in.” Steve tells you.

You nod,“ okay. Glad you’re sticking around for dinner. Does that speak to your progress in Oakland?”

The super soldier, since Thanos, has been doing his best to fix the world. As much as it could be anyway. In terms of coping with everything.

He’s traveled to a few different states to assess and fix damage as well as starting a couple support groups. Every few weeks he comes back and spends a few days at the compound before taking off again.

Which left little time to actually get to know the Captain.

You two talk as you cook, distractedly so since your eyes keep wandering to the door. By the time you finish you expect Nat and Bruce to be back but they aren’t.

After plating the food, you serve Steve, put their plates away, and eat.

“Thanks for the food Y/N.” Steve calls on his way to shower.

“Anytime Cap.” You reply, lying down on a nearby couch.

Staying up so late is starting to take a toll on you. Your tiredness weighing your eyes down.

Not having the energy to fight sleep, you shut your eyes.

Much like the very few times you’ve fallen asleep in the past it starts with darkness, absolutely nothing. Then comes the millisecond of calm.

And then the red. Black shadows moving about. They ease closer and closer to you.

They pause. The white of their eyes bore into you and then they lunge. While you can’t actually feel them beating you, oddly enough it hurts.

But it gets worse. The beatings cease and the shadows focus on something else. Someone else.

They circle around your red headed love and helplessness feels you. Green eyes meet yours as the shadows get ready to attack her.

Y/N!

She calls for you and there’s nothing you can do. Your world shakes and you watch motionlessly.

Until it stops.

Your eyes snap open and you scramble away from the body in front of you.

“Y/N, hey, you’re okay.” Natasha’s sultry voice eases you from your panic.

Heavy breaths shake your body, heart pounding, as the woman comes over to you.

She moves carefully, like she’s afraid of scaring you off. Her hand reaches toward you and you, finally having calmed down, take it.

Natasha sits with you on the couch and smooths your slightly sweaty hair back.

A short silence flows between the both of you.

“How bad was it?” She asks.

You sigh,“ it was one of the worst ones.” The image of her frightened expression flickers through your mind.

“What was it about?”

The Russian wouldn’t dare speak to anyone about the nightmares she’s had but that’s different with you and if you need her she’s here.

“Do you-”

Her eyebrow raises.

You were about to ask if she remembers the Shadows. Silent, masked torturers, that handled all the disciplining in the Red Room. But you recall getting her out before she ever had to encounter them.

“Haunting of the past is all. I’m used to it.” You shrug off.

Knowing you won’t explain, she just scoots a little closer.

“Well if you ever want to talk about those hauntings, I’m here.”

You pull your hands apart and hesitantly take one of hers, the red head immediately looking at the action.

Taking in her words and then thinking back to what Bruce said, you settle on a reply.

“I know you’re expecting me to leave at some point. I won’t.”

“And why is that?”

“Cause despite all the shit that’s happened lately, being with you made me realize how much I actually need you. Even if you don’t need me here I am.”

She sighs, her hand squeezing yours,“ if you’re lying I know how to find you.”

You can’t help but chuckle, knowing that she could one hundred percent find you if you left,“ I know. And I’m not. You’re stuck with me Natty.”

A blush coats her cheeks at the very old, slightly childish, nickname. Still she scoots even closer, her body pressing into yours.

You press the most delicate kiss on the top of her head.

Things may not be the least bit good, but you’re sure that as long as your with Natasha you’ll be okay.

******

Taglist: @thelastavenger-3000 @aaron-despair @messuhp @izalesbean @bvb-bk @username23345 @sighsam @confusinggemini612 @natasha-danvers @rileigh519

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff #natalia romanova #natasha romonova #black widow x reader #black widow #marvel x reader #marvel #mcu x reader #mcu #reader insert #Escape

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kalimagik · 4 years

Text

Treacherous

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Based on the song “Treacherous” by Taylor Swift

Word Count: ~1,700

A/N: This is my first Bucky fic! But alas, it’s another Taylor Swift song because I can’t seem to break away even though I do have other content...oops! This idea was started by @marvelsswansong and @scrumptious-delusion and here it is! I may or may not have written two versions of this, but I had to pick one! I hope you all like it! <3

*GIF is not mine - credits to owner

Bucky was still healing and Hydra wasn’t completely out of his head yet. It was horrible for you to watch. Bucky was the love of your life. You weren’t ever supposed to meet him just like you weren’t supposed to fight in WWII. You had passed the required physical by convincing your brother to pose as you, but when you were caught, it was by Dr. Erskine. Luckily, he admired your tenacity. Apparently being stubborn and sassy could be a good thing that didn’t always get you in trouble. That’s how you wound up as a version of a super soldier and that was how you met and fell in love with Sergeant James Barnes.

The day Steve came back from a mission and told you that Bucky was lost, you were absolutely broken. Your heart shattered into a million pieces and you felt like there was no way you would ever recover. Feeling as though your world had been taken away from you, you became reckless and acted before thinking on missions. That’s how you wound up in that plane with Steve. That’s how the two of you were frozen in ice for over 60 years.

When you woke up, Steve was the only thing that was familiar in this new world. He was your brother and only sort of family. Granted, you adjusted much better than he did, but fighting the bad guys with the Avengers definitely made the transition easier. It felt like it was supposed to. Yet, still, a Bucky sized hole remained in your heart. That was until he reappeared as the Winter Soldier.

You were already on the run, but Steve became overprotective when they learned it was Bucky who worked for Hydra. You were completely incapacitated for months. You moved when Nat, Sam, and Steve did, but you were no help on missions. You didn’t start to regain your gusto until Bucky was secure and in hiding, with you. But, like I said, he was still healing.

One particularly bad night, Steve couldn’t even get Bucky to snap out of his trance. It was like they had found a way to take total control of him all over again.

“I can’t get him back this time, Y/N.” You could tell Steve was at his wits end. He could normally get a flash out of Bucky whenever he talked to him, but something was different tonight. The rain poured outside and the lightning and thunder were unrelenting. The team had just found a new hiding spot and everyone was on edge.

“Let me try…” you whispered. You hadn’t been able to be with Bucky alone since he came back to you.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Y/N/N.” He was still being so protective. Steve remembered the day he lost his two best friends all those days ago. Yes, Bucky was gone for real, but you were never really present. He was really just worried that Bucky would lose all control and hurt you. You and Bucky would never be able to heal if something like that happened.

“I can do it. You have to give me a chance, Rogers.” The stern use of his last name let Steve know that you meant business.

He nodded to show his unwilling agreement. “Be careful in there. I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

You timidly step into Bucky’s room. You’d been able see him be him in the group setting, so maybe you could just get him here too. The sight of him tearing at his restraints strained your heart.

Walking directly up to him, you kneeled in front of him, subtly letting him know that you were there.

“Buck? You in there?” you breathed out. Steve had warned you not to touch him ages ago, he was still adjusting, but something about tonight felt different.

“Bucky, put your lips close to mine,” you ordered in a still quiet voice. This was okay as long as they don’t touch, right?

His piercing blue eyes looked up. A flash of fury was in them. This caused your breath to hitch. Were you doing the right thing? Then the Bucky you knew and loved emerged. Everything in the room was out of focus as you were eye to eye until the gravity became too much. Bucky’s lips crashed onto yours as you felt all of the emotions that had come with your love story, losing him, finding him again, and up to that moment.

You knew he was with you, so you undid his restraints, taking a leap of faith. His strong arms encased you as he lifted you to take you to the bed. You knew this was dangerous, but with him being there, you knew that you would do anything he said if he said it with his hands. Motioning for you to turn over or come closer.

Steve’s warning flashing in the back of your mind. “I’d be smart to walk away,” you thought to yourself before he was kissing up your neck again, “but you’re quicksand.”

As you spent the night with the love of your life, you remembered that he was still recovering, but you loved him. The slope you were on is treacherous and the path you are taking is reckless, but if being with Bucky meant healing him, then you like it.

Waking up way before Bucky, you rolled over to watch his sleeping face. It was so relaxed and there was no sign of anguish on it.

You can’t stop yourself from reaching over and moving his hair out of his eyes. “I can’t decide if it’s a choice that I’m getting swept away,” you sigh, thinking about all the backlash you could receive for making the impulsive but right decision to stay with him.

Bucky begins to stir and when he opens his eyes, he realizes how near you are to him. Then the fear sets in that his Hydra brain could kick in at any moment. He jumps off the bed and rushes to put his clothes on.

“I shouldn’t be here with you, Y/N. It’s dangerous. I could hurt you!”

You watch in pain as he darts around the room. Before you know it, you hear the sound of your own voice and ask him, “Please. Stay.” Your wide E/C eyes plead with him, knowing he remembers your love story too.

Bucky eventually gives in. All you are in skin and bone when you’re together, trained to get along.

“Buck?” you pull his attention to focus on you. “I’ve set up a pretty good life for myself here. Forever going with the flow, but you’re friction. And I’m ready for it. I hope you know that.”

Not having any words, Bucky can only pull your lips onto his. He conveys everything he feels for you in that one kiss.

Bucky had been much better during the weeks following your night together. Steve didn’t understand it, but he trusted Bucky to be around you now. Everything was great...until the bombing.

“Bucky! Y/N! You need to get up!” Steve stormed into the room you two had been sharing. It was the middle of the night. “They think Bucky is the one who set off the bomb at the UN.”

“It couldn’t have been! He’s been right here,” you tried to explain.

“I know that! We have to get him out of here. They’re coming for him.”

Despite your heavy eyelids, you were moving at a quick pace. Packing the bare essentials, you led Bucky to the car you had been given by Tony to use.

“I will catch up with you two later. Get him somewhere safe!” Steve ordered, turning to deal with anyone who may show up to take Bucky away.

Two headlights shined through the sleepless night. They were only taking back roads. Y/N and Bucky were on the run.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. You deserve better than this,” Bucky apologized over and over. Y/N was thinking about how she was going to get him alone. Cars were following them and would soon catch up.

“I’m going to hold them off. Okay?” Y/N let Bucky know of her plan.

“I can’t let you do that!”

“I have too!” Y/N begged, “I have to keep you safe. I can’t lose you a second time.” Bucky was arguing back, but only his name was echoing in her mind.

“No, Bucky! Listen to me. I’ve been putting myself in the way of danger for ages now. And I think you should know that nothing safe is worth the drive, but you need to keep going. I will follow you. I’ll follow you home, eventually. Okay?”

You pull the car over to the side of the road, sliding out the window as Bucky slides to the driver’s seat.

You stand to face the parade that followed you and Bucky, alone with the image of you and him somewhere beautiful together in the front of your mind. The hope that you will see him again soon raging through your body. This hope you feel is treacherous. The daydream getting you through is dangerous, but if you get to be with him again, the danger is worth it.

Fighting your way through the agents, you didn’t see a potential end. Losing energy and beginning to feel outnumbered, the hope starts to dim. That is until Steve, Nat, Sam, and some extra help show up.

“Y/N? Where’s Bucky?” Sam asked, swooping in to get some of the men out of your way.

“Safe for now!” You call back, nailing another agent with an uppercut.

“We’ve got them!” Steve announces, rolling in beside you. “You catch up with him!”

Nodding, you take off at a run towards one of the black cars. Knocking out the driver, you are able to take the wheel. You are feeling so tired now. Your eyes just want to close and sleep, but you know you can’t do that. You had told Bucky that you would get him alone. His name echoing through your mind was the only thing keeping you on the road right now. You were going to follow him home, somewhere safe.

Seeing his car up ahead you can’t help but say to yourself, “Bucky Barnes. I will always follow you home. This slope is treacherous, but I- I like it…”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #sergeant james buchanan barnes #sergeant james barnes #mcu #buckyfic #marvel #steve rogers #avenger reader #bucky barnes x avenger!reader #taylor swift song fic #song fic #kalimagik

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capsicle13 · 4 years

Text

Good For You (Stony/Omegaverse)

Summary: Steve didn’t think it was possible to go into heat, not after the serum. Perhaps a certain Alpha is to blame.

*******

Something was wrong. Steve woke up feeling off, like his body was knocked off its axis. Waking up in a cold sweat wasn’t that unusual; he still suffered from nightmares from time to time, and usually the dreams had been so intense that it left him waking up sweaty and flushed.

But the nightmares are ruled out when he becomes aware of just how warm his body feels. No, warm wasn’t the right word to describe it. His body was on fire, the sensation so extreme it made every muscle in his body ache.

The cold shower he takes does nothing to alleviate the scorching heat that radiates through him. He wonders if he’s coming down with something, although that should be impossible with the serum running through his veins. He was supposed to be immune to illnesses.

He shrugs off the feverish feeling and makes the decision to meet his teammates for breakfast. Their voices fill his ears as he makes his way up the stairs toward the communal living room, only for them grow silent when he steps into the large space. He shifts uncomfortably at the stares being sent his way.

“Good morning,” he greets, moving toward the small kitchen. His teammates return his greeting, but their stares still linger, following his every move. Natasha gets up from her spot on the sofa and joins him in the kitchen. “Hey.” Steve shoots her a smile, only for it to falter when she frowns. “What?”

“You-” Natasha hesitates and she gives the air a whiff, her nose wrinkling. That only confuses Steve more. “You smell.”

“I smell?” Steve raises a confused brow. “I showered-”

“No, not like that. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Steve frowns. He leaves out the part about his fever, not wanting to draw anymore attention to himself. Natasha doesn’t appear convinced with his answer and she leans in closer, giving him another sniff. When she pulls away he chases after her, keening softly from the loss of her comfort. “Nat…”

“I think you better go back to bed,” Natasha suggests, taking him by the hand and leading him out of the kitchen. Her touch ignites something inside of Steve and he whines low in his throat, craving more of her.

The rest of the team watches with interest and Steve doesn’t miss the way Natasha snarls in their direction, warning them not to get too close. Steve’s confusion only increases, along with the intense feeling of needing...something. Being near a familiar alpha appears to help, but he needs more.

They make it to the elevators, and now that it’s just them, Steve can’t help but lean in closer to his friend, her scent providing some relief to the itch he can’t scratch. “Nat…” Steve inhales, filling his nostrils with the strong smell.

“Steve, wait,” Natasha pulls back slightly, emitting another whine from Steve. “You’re in heat-”

“No,” Steve shakes his head. “I can’t...I’m not…”

“Well you are. I can smell it. Everyone can smell it, Steve. How come you didn’t say anything? We all thought you were a Beta.”

“The serum changed a lot of things…” Steve moves closer, a needy whine escaping him when Natasha refuses to let him get so close. “Please? Nat, I need...I need...something. I need you.”

“No, you don’t. I can help, but only just mild stuff okay?” Natasha presses the button for the top level again, cursing quietly to herself when the elevator refuses to arrive. Steve is growing more needy by the second, and his behavior along with the pheromones he’s releasing is starting to affect the alpha. Natasha has to take control of herself. Steve was her friend.

The elevator dings, indicating its arrival and the large doors open. “Dammit,” Natasha curses at the sight of the other alpha in the car.

Tony is taken aback by the greeting he receives. “Morning to you, too. What’s your prob-” Tony’s words are lost when the most exquisite scent fills his nose. It reminds him of cotton candy; sweet and sugary. Absolutely delicious. “Holy shit...is that-is Cap-”

Natasha growls at him. “Don’t get any ideas. I’m taking care of him.”

“What ideas? Oh you think that I’d...no, no way. Not interested.” It’s a lie. Tony never knew that anyone could smell so good, and he’s been around a lot of omega’s in his lifetime. But there was something about Steve’s scent that was so intoxicating. “Are you sure you got him?” Tony asks when Steve whines softly. He wonders if his own scent is affecting the super soldier.

“Yep,” Natasha replies and she moves past Tony to get Steve and herself in the elevator.

“Wait,” Steve stops her, gently pushing her away. A part of him hates the distance he’s put between them, but the other half urges him to get away. “You don’t have to help me. I’m not in-” Steve tries to explain, but then he’s losing his footing, swaying slightly. Someone is reaching out to steady him, their touch sending sparks of energy through him. He needs more of their touch.

“You okay?” Tony asks, his hands still holding Steve up. They’re closer now and Tony has to fight back the urge to lean in and scent the omega.

Steve doesn’t have that same control and he does what Tony holds off on, closing the small space between them and inhaling the musky scent. He can smell the familiar scents Tony usually gives off: grease, coffee, expensive cologne. But there’s a new one filling his nose, one he’s never smelled before. It’s a smell he’s been deprived of for so long. Tony smells like mate.

“Tony,” Steve whines the alpha’s name. “You smell so good.”

“That’s just my shampoo, Cap.” Tony has to force himself to get away from Steve, even though his instincts are screaming at him to care for the omega. Despite his best efforts, he can’t hold off and he gives into those urges. “You know, Romanoff, I think I can take it from here.”

Natasha bares her teeth, a low growl rumbling in her throat. “I know what you’re up to.”

“Relax. I’m not gonna do anything. Trust me I’m not affected one bit.” It's another lie, probably the biggest one he’s ever told. Steve was doing something to him...something no omega has ever done before.

Natasha can clearly see through the lie and she steps closer, releasing another warning growl for the other alpha to back off. Tony heeds her warning, not wanting to get into an unnecessary fight. “Fine, fine,” he holds his hands up. “I’m going.”

Steve whines when Tony moves away. He’s tempted to chase after the alpha, but he stops himself. He wasn’t in heat. He didn’t need anyone.

“Come on,” Natasha gently urges and Steve shakes her off again.

“I’m fine,” he insists.

“Steve-”

“It’s okay. I’m fine.” Steve presses the button for his floor and the doors shut on Natasha’s face. He backs himself into the wall, letting out a heavy sigh and running his fingers through his slightly damp hair. He tries to convince himself that he was fine, but that inner voice is quick to remind him that something was wrong. Steve ignores the voice.

It just wasn’t possible for him to be in heat. He hadn’t had a heat since he was 18. Growing up a sickly and frail omega made experiencing a normal heat cycle impossible. His heats were always irregular and that along with his medical issues made him unworthy of finding a mate. No alpha wanted an omega like him.

He was promised that his heats would disappear completely after Project Rebirth. That hadn't been an issue, though. Steve knew that taking on the role of Captain America meant sacrifices needed to be made. Heats would only slow him down, something he couldn’t risk.

The elevator doors are opening again and Steve steps out, making his way to his apartment. He thought being back in the comfort of his own space would ease his discomfort, but it does the complete opposite. His body is still too hot and aching for something he can’t figure out.

Alpha. Mate. That inner voice is back and Steve has to fight back the urge to listen. He doesn’t need any of those things. He wasn’t in heat.

He staggers toward his bedroom, tugging and pulling at his clothes; the fabric suddenly irritating his sensitive skin. There’s still a hint of Tony’s scent lingering on his clothes and Steve can’t help but bring his discarded shirt to his face, inhaling the intoxicating smell. He whines when it’s not enough. He needs more of the alpha.

His jeans grow tighter and a wetness pools between his legs. He knows exactly what this means. He was going into heat. Natasha had been right.

Now that he knows what is wrong with him, the only thing he can do is hide away in his apartment and wait until his heat ends. It’s something he’s done before, back when he would go through a heat and had no mate to share it with. It was unpleasant without an alpha, but it wasn’t like Steve had many options. He didn’t have a mate.

Or maybe he did. Tony gave off that comforting scent; the kind only a mate could give. The urge to be near the alpha again becomes too much, but Steve knows he can’t give in. It was just the heat talking.

Steve reaches down to open his jeans, hissing from the friction he creates when he brushes against his hardening cock. More slick flows from his aching hole, and he’s tempted to touch himself there too.

A knock on the front door is what stops him from going any further. He knows better than to answer the door when he gets like this, but he can’t help but rush to the door when a familiar voice calls out from the other side.

“Hey, Cap? You okay?” Tony asks, followed by another knock. “You’re kinda freaking me out, buddy.”

Steve cracks the door open. “Tony, go away,” he tries to be stern, but his tone fails him and instead it comes out like a whine.

“You sure? You look horrible,” Tony winces when he takes in the flushed and disheveled appearance. He’s never seen Steve like this before. He never knew he was an omega, either.

“Please?” Steve begs, not sure if he’s asking for Tony to leave or come in and fuck him.

“Are you sure?” Tony asks again, silently hoping Steve lets him in. “I can help you out, Cap.”

Those words seem to get the reaction Tony had been hoping for and the door opens a few inches more, giving the alpha a clear view of Steve’s naked upper half. He’s no stranger to seeing Steve shirtless, but with the combination of him half naked and the strong pheromones, it’s overwhelming. Tony presses himself closer to the door, eyes growing dark from the intense scent of an omega in heat. He snaps himself out of it when Steve opens the door the rest of the way.

“You would help me?” Steve asks, sounding a little unsure. He had never been asked that question before. Usually alphas stayed as far away as they could from him. Or if they did offer assistance, their intentions were never good.

“Yeah. We don’t have to do anything sexual. I can let you scent me and cuddle if you want. I won’t take it any further than that.” Tony is being honest, but there’s still a part of him that hopes Steve would let him help in other ways.

“Okay,” Steve finally gives his consent and he steps aside to let Tony in, fighting the urge to rush up to the alpha and press his nose against his neck.

Being inside Steve’s apartment reeks of his heat; the smell only makes Tony want to mount the omega and breed him. He can’t though, not when he promised they wouldn’t cross that line.

“Bedroom’s this way yeah?” Tony makes a gesture down the hall and Steve nods his head in response. “Okay,” Tony says, “lead the way, Cap.”

The sweet, sugary smell only Steve can give off smacks Tony in the face when he enters the bedroom. It’s overwhelming in the best way possible.

“How long have you been a uh...oh! Hey there, buddy.” Steve has pressed himself up against Tony, trying to get as close to the alpha as much as possible. A low whine escapes him when Tony gently pushes him away from his neck. “Don’t worry we’ll get to that part,” Tony assures, feeling guilty for depriving the omega from what he wants. “I’ll let you clean up.”

Steve whines in protest when Tony backs off and leaves the room, shutting the door halfway to give him some privacy. He quickly works his jeans open and slides them down his legs along with his soaked underwear. He doesn’t bother putting on a fresh set of clothes, knowing he’ll make a mess of those, too.

“Hey, Steve?” Tony calls out after a few minutes. When he doesn’t get a response, he gently pushes the door open. “Holy shit…”

The sight that greets him steals his breath and sends all of the blood in his body down south. He had already been affected by the strong scent Steve was giving off, but now it was like his arousal had been amplified.

Steve was on the bed, legs spread and working a hand between them, soft whines and moans slipping past his lips. Tony tries and fails to keep his eyes on anything but the fingers Steve has started thrusting into himself.

“Fuck…” Tony says, his words slightly breathless. His jeans feel impossibly tighter and he has to fight back the urge to release his cock and touch himself. “Cap-”

At the sound of his nickname, Steve is snapping his head up. “Tony,” he whines. “Please? I need more.”

He increases the pace of his fingers, cries of frustration leaving him when it’s not enough. He needs something else. Something only Tony can provide.

Steve removes his fingers, a pink hue appearing over his features at the wet sound it makes. Tony isn’t embarrassed at all by the sounds Steve makes, in fact he wants to hear more.

“Tony, please?” Steve begs, emitting a whimper when the alpha refuses to move from his spot.

“I got you,” Tony assures and he finally makes his move toward the bed. And when he’s in arms reach of the omega, he finds himself being pulled even closer. Steve offers his neck and Tony has to resist getting too close to the sensitive glands there.

“Please?” Steve begs again, fingers gripping the soft fabric of Tony’s t-shirt and using his incredible strength to pull the alpha closer. “I need you, Tony.”

“I know, I know.” Tony’s hands fly up to grasp Steve’s wrist. “And I’m gonna help out, but you can’t tease me like this. Otherwise…” Tony trails off. He knows exactly what will happen, and maybe it’s not such a bad thing. Being this close to an omega in heat is doing something to him. But being this close to Steve, well, that was a different story.

Steve had a new effect on him, one he never thought possible. Being an alpha meant he’s been around a few omegas, but none of them have ever smelled so...so comforting. Steve smelled like something Tony thought he’d never smell on an omega. He smelled like a mate.

With that on his mind, Tony is tempted even further to claim the needy omega in front of him. But he’s still holding off.

Steve is making that very difficult, though.

Tony manages to free himself from Steve’s firm grasp and gently lies him back on the bed. Steve is reaching out for him again, this time with getting Tony’s jeans off as his goal.

“Steve, stop.” Tony tries to push the omega’s hands away, but Steve is persistent and he works Tony’s jeans open. He leans forward, nuzzling where Tony’s scent is the strongest. “Steve, sto-Omega!”

At the stern tone, Steve is backing off and releasing his hands from where he’s been holding Tony in place. The wounded look that crosses his face is hard to witness; Tony never intended to use his ‘alpha voice’.

“I’m sorry,” Steve quickly apologizes. “Tony, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me. I’m-”

“You’re in heat. This is normal. Haven’t you had one before?” Tony questions, realizing he’s missed something.

“Not like this. My last one was when I was 18.”

“Yikes. Okay but you’ve been with an alpha before right? Been knotted and all that jazz?”

Steve is blushing again and Tony wonders if it’s because he’s ashamed or his fever is getting worse. Perhaps both.

“Not exactly,” Steve answers, his face heating up even more. “I’m a um…”

“A virgin?” Tony finishes and when he receives a nod in response, his cock twitches in his pants. “Wow...um...okay.”

“I know.” Steve groans.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“It’s not. No alpha has ever wanted me. I thought after the serum my heats would disappear and I wouldn’t have to worry anymore. But something’s changed.”

Tony hums. “Do you think it’s because we’re-” he trails off, making a gesture between the two of them. It was obvious by their scents alone what they were, only no one has voiced it out loud.

“Mates?” Steve finally says it. “Is that possible?”

“I’ve heard about it. Honestly, I didn't think it would be you. Hell I never thought I’d ever find one.”

“So do we…”

“Kinda have to now.”

“Thank God.” Is all Steve says before he’s pulling Tony closer and crashing their lips together.

Tony can’t help the moan that escapes him from the feeling of having Steve’s lips pressed against his and the way his tongue is exploring his mouth. It’s tempting to let Steve take complete control, but the alpha in him isn’t having any of that, and with a growl he pushes Steve off.

Steve complies this time, not wanting a repeat of the scolding he received earlier. “Tony…” he whimpers, and trails one hand down between his legs, the motion catching Tony’s attention and he glances down, eyes darkening at the sight of Steve’s leaking cock.

It’s a struggle to fight back the urge to push Steve back and fuck him into the mattress. He has to remind himself that this was all new to the omega, and Tony wasn’t going to be like every other alpha out there and take what was his. He was going to take care of Steve and show him what he’s been missing.

“I’m gonna make this good for you, sweetheart,” Tony promises, leaning down to connect their lips again. Steve whines into Tony’s mouth, the desperate sound making Tony’s cock throb. “Lie back,” he orders and Steve does as he’s told, lying back on the bed and spreading his legs invitingly.

“Tony, please?” Steve whines, bucking his hips in an attempt to get the alpha to touch him.

“I got you,” Tony assures before connecting their lips again. Steve grows impatient and wraps one arm around Tony’s head, pulling the alpha down until he’s between his legs. Tony growls when Steve grinds against him, and he buries his face in the crook of Steve’s neck, swiping his tongue along the swollen gland he finds there. It’s tempting to bite down and mark Steve, but Tony holds back. He has other plans.

The soft kisses along his sensitive neck is too much and Steve emits another desperate cry, needing the alpha to bite and claim him; the omega inside him demands it. “Tony…” Steve pants, fingers threading through the short hair of the alpha and tugs, pulling another growl from Tony’s lips.

“I know,” Tony murmurs and he presses one last kiss against Steve’s neck, then he’s trailing open mouth kisses along Steve’s chest and torso. Steve’s back arches when Tony gets closer to the place he wants him to touch. Tony knows this and trails even lower until his face is hovering over Steve’s cock. “So beautiful,” he says before lapping at the head, moaning at the taste that explodes over his tongue.

He wonders what else Steve tastes like and he pulls off of the omega’s cock, and pushes his legs further apart, exposing the tight, wet hole. Tony doesn’t waste anymore time and he drops down onto his stomach until he’s at eye level with Steve’s hole. The smell of his slick is intoxicating, but it doesn’t compare to the taste.

“Tony!” Steve cries, one hand flying down to hold the alpha’s head and the other twisting the sheets. He grinds himself against Tony’s mouth, needing to feel more of the tongue that’s sending jolts of pleasure through him. But it’s not enough. He needs more.

Sensing the omega’s frustration, Tony rubs one finger along the tight ring of muscle, gently pressing against it until the tip of his finger is dipping inside. Steve whines and Tony’s head snaps up, noticing the difference in the sound. “You okay?” he asks, feeling a pang of guilt for hurting the omega.

“Y-yeah…” Steve gives a quick nod and shifts his hips, urging Tony to keep going. More of Tony’s finger enters him, the slight sting he felt before diminishing and pleasure taking its place. “More...I need...more..”

Tony doesn’t hesitate to follow through with Steve’s request and he drags his finger out before pressing it back in. The pace of his finger increases and then he’s adding another and thrusting them roughly, searching for that spot that will make Steve scream.

The heavy pants Steve is emitting is a clear indication that Tony was getting close to finding that spot. “Ah! Tony!” Steve cries out, back arching when Tony’s brushes against something inside him. Tony thrusts his fingers harder, plowing through the slick that continues to flow from Steve’s hole.

Tony can tell by the way Steve clenches around him that he’s close. He presses harder against Steve’s prostate, pulling more sounds of pleasure from the omega. “Cum,” Tony orders and Steve screams, his body growing taut and spilling an abundance of slick. Tony rips his fingers free and licks up the mess, humming at the sweet taste.

“P-please…” Steve begs. That ache is still present, only growing more intense despite the pleasure Tony has already given him. He needs a knot.

At the sound of the omega’s pleading, Tony works quickly to shed his clothing, no longer able to contain the urge to properly breed and fuck Steve. With a growl he yanks Steve closer and pushes his legs apart. He takes his cock in his hand and guides it to Steve’s entrance, rubbing the leaking head against the pink rim and smearing the slick before pressing forward.

“Ah!” Steve gasps when Tony enters him and he wraps his legs around his waist, trying to bring the alpha closer, deeper. “Please! Alpha, fuck me!”

“Fuck.” Tony growls and drags his cock out until just the tip is inside, then he’s thrusting back in, no longer able to hold back, and he fucks Steve at an unforgiving pace. “Fuck, you feel so good...so tight, so wet.”

Steve whimpers and holds onto Tony tightly, blunt nails digging into the flesh of Tony’s back. He leans forward and buries his face into Tony’s neck, breathing in the musky scent the alpha gives off. He drags his tongue along the gland, licking up the sweet sweat. “Alpha...need more. Need your knot,” he whispers, nipping at the sensitive spot on Tony’s neck to urge him on.

“I’ll give it to you.” Tony grunts, increasing the pace of his hips, each rough thrust punching out more moans from Steve’s parted lips. “Gonna breed you. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

“Yes!” Steve cries, back lifting off the bed from a particularly hard thrust of Tony’s hips. “Please, Alpha!”

Tony growls and pulls Steve closer until their bodies are pressed against each other, fucking into the omega even harder. Being surrounded by Steve's tight heat is overwhelming, and it’s not long until the base of Tony’s cock begins to tingle, his knot forming to lock inside the needy omega.

“Fuck, Steve I’m gonna knot you so good. You want that, sweetheart? Want my knot?”

Steve can only nod his head in response, his ability to speak lost from the intense pleasure coursing through him. All he’s ever wanted was to properly be knotted by an alpha, and now he was getting that chance.

“Please…” Steve whimpers when he feels the knot expand and rub against his sensitive entrance. With another hard thrust, Tony forces his knot inside, locking them together. Steve whines from the stretch, the burn and pleasure unlike anything he’s ever experienced. This is what being knotted felt like. And Steve wanted more. He needs to be claimed. To belong to Tony. “Bite me. Claim me.”

The animalistic growl that the alpha produces makes Steve keen and he offers his neck. Tony can no longer resist and he bites down, sealing their bond. Claiming the omega as his.

Tony continues to fuck into Steve, grunting at the sensation of his knot swelling larger. “Gonna fill you up,” he promises. The only response he receives is the feeling of Steve clenching down on him. Tony’s cock pulses with each spurt of cum he releases, his promise to fill and breed the omega fulfilled.

Steve whimpers at the rush of warmth that floods through him, the feeling of Tony’s release bringing him over the edge. His own cock twitches, shooting ropes of cum against his belly, though nowhere near as much as the amount Tony produces.

Tony continues to move inside of him, the pace of his hips slowing down until they’re nothing but shallow thrusts. His knot is still going strong, filling up the omega, and only time would tell if their mating succeeded.

“So good,” Tony praises, lapping and kissing at Steve’s fresh bond mark. “You did so good, Omega.”

Steve keens at the praise from the alpha, that itch finally scratched and the ache diminishing. It would return though; his heat was far from over, but at least this time he had someone to spend it with. He had his Alpha.

#stony #stony fic #abo #omegaverse #stony smut #smut #omega steve rogers #alpha tony stark #explict #AO3 fanfic #bottom steve #top tony

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thespiralgrimoire · 4 years

Note

I. NEED. TO. LEARN. MORE. ABOUT. FERRO's. UNIVERSE. Like are you kidding me? Fuego and Leo pulled a coup and killed every non-vermillion??! that's, wow, that's rich!! What's the heck is wrong with /THAT/ timeline? What about Asta's story there? the elves? the devils? Fuego really killed everyone? including NOZEL? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!

OH MY GOD ANON YOU’VE MADE MY ENTIRE DAY

HONESTLY this AU is underdeveloped because of the way it came to fruition in the first place, so nothing would make me happier but to make it a collaborative fandom project but here’s everything I’ve got on it

Under a Read More because it might get lengthy

First, a disclaimer: This AU was born out of a dream. I had a dream about a plucky teenager participating in a Magic Knight’s exam that was designed more like The Hunger Games, and when I woke up, I said to myself, I gotta get in on that. So that’s why some of the details of this AU are a little fucky. Dream logic.

Now, the inciting event for this AU is twofold: First, Acier lives. SECOND, her sister, Kirsch and Mimosa’s mother, dies giving birth to Mimosa.

Sister’s death completely breaks down any bond between the Vermillions and the Silvas. It’s just. Messy. A lot of finger pointing, a lot of people not handling things well. Because while the Silvas were taught from a young age to bottle up their feelings, Vermillions tend to use their feelings as a weapon. And relations go south fast.

Acier has still been training Meoroleona. Nozel and Fuegoleon have still been rivals. But when this happens, everyone is forced to pick a side. Acier and Meoroleona don’t end their relationship on bad terms, but they do end it. Nozel and Fuegoleon’s relationship swiftly turns hostile. In hindsight, nobody is happy about the way things went down, but at this point there’s a No Man’s Land to civility that nobody is willing to cross, and nobody will cross it.

The Vermillions have the roughest time with this, but unlike the way the Silvas handled Noelle, nobody actually blames Mimosa for her mother’s death. They turn their grief into what they see as righteous fury and determine to turn this into a “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” situation. This takes different forms over the years, but what basically happens is that everyone internalizes these feelings so deeply that while they all grow stronger, they also sort of grow apart.

Fuegoleon and Meoroleona have a blowout that completely shakes House Vermillion, and when Meoroleona leaves, she vows to never come back. No one believes that she would actually stay away, what with how close Fuego and Meoro were as kids, but when she leaves, she leaves. They see her once a year TOPS, and it’s never for a happy reason.

Fuegoleon, who has let his anger completely isolate him from the rest of his family, throws himself into being the Crimson Lion King, and while he’s incredibly successful, he loses parts of himself along the way. His ambitions override his caring nature and his inclination to share his strengths with others, and he becomes cold and determined, with a methodical outlook on relationships.

Leopold doesn’t become so callous-- he wasn’t old enough to remember his aunt’s death, he just had to grow up in the aftermath of it --but he follows in his brother’s footsteps, and while he’s not as mean about the way he does it, he’s not afraid to make some harsh decisions if it means being the best.

Kirsch and Mimosa decide that the best way to deal with this is to keep their heads down. Kirsch is fiercely protective of his little sister, because even though nobody is blaming Mimosa, he can’t shake the feeling that she may still have a target on her back. This makes Mimosa jumpy and clingy, never really developing the confidence to be her own person. While she can’t really nail down a particular reason for it, she’s scared of Fuegoleon and doesn’t trust Leopold. She can’t help but wonder how her cousins in House Silva are doing, but knows that all hell would break loose if she actually sought them out, so she feels constantly stuck between a rock and a hard place; the living embodiment of a schism between the royal houses.

The Silvas, on the other hand, go the other direction. Acier is still here, and she’s not letting her family rip itself apart like it did in canon. She remains the captain of the Silver Eagles and well-respected. Her kids have an even easier ride to the top with her still there to pave the way. She misses Meoroleona terribly. She knows that none of this was fair to any of them, and losing her sister AND her star pupil is a lot to work through. She keeps thinking that eventually she’ll get a letter or a surprise visit from the Undefeated Lioness, but she never does.

Nozel is genuinely heartbroken to have lost his rival and best friend, and, consequently, be left in the dust when he can’t keep up with Fuegoleon’s ambition, but he’s still got his mother and three little siblings, so they become his whole life. Without Fuegoleon’s rivalry to spur him on, he becomes good but not great, and is content to coast. He’s a mama’s boy, and as long as his mother is satisfied, he’d rather read and organize missions than go on them. On the bright side, he doesn’t deal with 90% of the stress he deals with in the canon universe. He’s actually pretty happy most of the time.

Nebra ends up being the classic middle sibling. Her magic is nothing special, but she’s a Silva, so she can go with the flow and still come out looking a little better than everyone else. While Nozel would rather spend time with books and Solid and Noelle would rather spend time with each other, she’s a drifter; she can hang with any of her siblings, or her mother, but she’s no one’s first pick. It doesn’t really bother her all that much unless she feels genuinely left out, and Mom never forgets about her, so it’s all good.

Solid and Noelle are thick as thieves, and the Silver Eagles’ superstars. They bring out the worst of each other and have a great time doing it. They’re a dynamic duo on the battle field and harbor unfathomable chaotic energy off of it. Getting sucked into their gravitational pull is dangerous, so Nebra, Nozel, and Acier tread lightly, lest they get dragged into, or end up the victim of their shenanigans. Of all combinations of Silva duos, they are by far the closest. Totally ride or die. That doesn’t mean that they don’t drive each other absolutely batshit crazy, and have some HUGE blowouts that waterlog half the castle, but that’s what siblings do. The nice thing about having each other is that neither of them end up in their siblings’ or mother’s shadows. The not nice thing about that is that they’re just. Little shits. Imagine Noelle acting the way she does in the beginning of the series, but being sincere about it. Imagine Solid acting the way he does, except he’s never checking to see if he’s got his siblings’ approval. Now imagine them patting each other on the back for acting like that. Yikes.

Then Ferro comes along. He’s the result of Solid knocking up his unnamed noble girlfriend when he’s 16-17. Acier is PISSED. All the other Silvas are scandalized. Solid is in big trouble. Acier suspends him from the Silver Eagles while she does damage control. What she eventually ends up doing is paying the girl off, and when the baby is born, she takes him into House Silva to raise him in secret. Nobody outside House Silva ever knows about him. He is House Silva’s best kept secret. This is an important detail.

The coup comes together. Fuegoleon has been working on this plan for a long time. Years. Leopold is on board, because Leopold would follow him off a cliff. But he’s also scared shitless. This is a much bigger deal than stepping on a few comrades to rise through the ranks. He slips a little. Kirsch catches wind of the plan. He gets in Leo’s and Fuego’s ear to remind them, hey, we’re Vermillions, too. So we’re cool, right?

Yeah, they’re cool. All they have to do is help their cousins kill everyone whose last name isn’t Vermillion. Kirsch thinks this is a pretty good deal to save him and his sister. Mimosa will later have her doubts, but we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.

Meoroleona was invited, but never shows up.

We’re about at the beginning of the show when the coup begins. I don’t have a good reason that it goes off as smoothly as it does. But everyone in Houses Kira and Silva dies, except Acier and Ferro. Ferro, now two, manages to watch his entire family get bodied without getting a scratch on him, because no one anticipated him being there. Acier is only able to defend herself and him before sneaking away.

Acier and Ferro flee to the Forbidden Realm, to a little town in bumfuck nowhere, to hide. They are never discovered by the Vermillions.

Fuegoleon becomes the Clover King. As far as they can tell, the coup is 100% successful. But the thing about fire is that it’s super useful for making people really dead, but when people are dying in heaps and being burned to ash it’s kind of hard to count how many bodies you’ve got. They don’t realize that they’re one short. With no one to stand in their way, Fuegoleon crowns himself Clover King. He disbands the Silver Eagles, and within the next few years, will crown himself Wizard King. It actually becomes pretty easy after Julius nerfs himself, whoops.

Unfortunately, Fuegoleon is starting to unravel. He gained a LOT of enemies doing all this heinous shit, and he is not a beloved king. Leopold is now the head of the Crimson Lion Kings, and he’s reporting back a lot of hostility among the captains. Not that they didn’t expect that, but there’s no way to practice sleeping with one eye open. That’s not to mention that the people are scared and confused, and that doesn’t make for a peaceful kingdom.

Over the course of years, he puts greater and greater restrictions on magic. It starts as permits to use spells in public places and soon grows into a near-total ban on grimoires for anyone outside the magic knights. With absolute power, he can kick people out of the magic knights AND take their grimoires. These rules both ease and exacerbate his growing paranoia. Everyone is pissed, but effectively stripped of their power, there isn’t much they can do about it.

Meanwhile, Acier is raising her grandson as a peasant, but never forgets that they’re royals. She teaches Ferro all of their family history, even though they have to keep it a secret. That gets kind of tricky since Ferro has royal-level magic in the middle of a town of peasants, but, you know, who’s gonna call him on it?

When Ferro is ten, he get recruited by a mysterious hooded figure to train his magic in secret. 90% of his magic training happens in a location he is taken to by a spatial mage. He, along with about a dozen other kids, are trained by a small band of mages who claim to be the resistance. Their goal is simple: Train the next generation of mages to take out the king and restore order to the kingdom. Ferro thinks this is pretty cool, and the honor isn’t lost on him, but he’s mostly glad that he can learn to control his magic in a way that makes his grandmother proud.

By the time Ferro is 15, grimoire ceremonies have been almost completely outlawed, so it’s a big deal when the resistance throws their trainees a grimoire ceremony. Once they’ve received their grimoires, they begin the next leg of their journey: become magic knights.

The Magic Knights Entrance Exam has changed a LOT in the last 15 years. This exam is deadly. In many instances, the point is to kill or be killed. Magic knights are being trained as a military force first and foremost, and their most important feature must be that they take orders unblinkingly. This does not fly with Ferro. While he’s extremely qualified for the position in every other way, he’s too nice to let people die, let alone kill them. He fails the exam. However, some of the other kids he’s trained with make it in.

So he needs a new plan. Spurned on by his grandmother and his teachers through the resistance, he decides to travel the Clover Kingdom. In the midst of his travels, Acier dies. At 20 years old, he is now the last Silva.

This fact makes Ferro pretty fatalistic, and at this point he decides the only rational thing to do is to force an audience with King Fuegoleon. Surely this won’t end in disaster. Definitely won’t be his untimely end by flames.

So there are a lot of holes in this AU, because it sprang up around this one character I had a wild dream about. A few mores notes:

Noelle joined the Silver Eagles, if that wasn’t obvious

The Vermillion coup takes place 1-2 years after the start of the show, and I have no explanation for how those events could fit into this timeline. They would definitely look a LOT different, that’s for sure

My notes on this end where they do because at the point where Ferro breaks into the royal castle to force this audience with the king, he actually gets thrown out of this universe and into another. So I guess for all intents and purposes, the Silva line ends for good in this universe

I know exactly where Meoroleona is and what she’s doing

I don’t know where exactly Kirsch and Mimosa are and what they’re doing when they disappear

So that’s all I’ve got! This isn’t a super duper happy AU, and definitely not flattering for everyone, but I was forced to flesh it out because I was told, very emphatically, “Evil Vermillions sexy.” I don’t disagree.

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ellemcu · 3 years

Text

Chapter 7

Words: 1584

Warnings: swearing

***********

You quietly groaned as your eyes fluttered open. There was a hard pounding in your head and your whole body was aching and burning. You slowly lifted your wrist only to be stopped by some chains. You quickly raised your head from the bed you were lying in, trying desperately to get off it. Your arms and legs had been strapped onto the floor and you were dressed in your black sports bra and your matching black shorts.

You started panicking, not remembering how you’d gotten here and what was going to happen. Flashbacks of old memories as a kid in HYDRA flooded your mind, drowning your every other thought. As a kid, you would often wake up in a room just like this. Handlers coming in the room and torturing you in all sorts of ways.

You whimpered quietly while you tried to get up from the bed, your whole body aching. You slowly stood up, the chains on your wrists starting to dig deep into your skin. You felt slightly lightheaded but you kept blinking it off, not trusting your surroundings. Your knees buckled and you crashed on the ground with a thud.

You were panting on the floor, slowly moving into a sitting position against the metal leg of your bed. You breathed heavily, trying not to fall unconscious.

After a while, your body started shaking violently. It had already happened at HYDRA after your body had gone through too much for it to handle which meant days of training non-stop.

It was very inconvenient because this was the most vulnerable position you had ever found yourself in and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. You lied down on the floor rocking yourself at a slow pace to stop yourself from shaking even more. Your breaths became uneven and you didn’t know how to stop.

After what seemed like hours of shaking the bolted door flew open and three men with white lab coats walked in, each carrying silver cases in their hands. You had horrible memories with scientists. Doctors had always taken their anger out on you, torturing you after you fell unconscious several times in a row, pushing your body over the edge after a brainwash, just because I couldn’t fight back.

You eyed them very closely, still shaking violently, while they came closer to you. Without saying a word they started taking out their shiny suitcases, long needles. You shook your head, trying desperately to back away from them. One of them grabbed your ankles, trying to stop you from shaking and another one grabbed the chain that was tied to your wrist, tugging at it harshly. You winced in pain “No” you whimpered, while another man had wrapped his hand around your throat. “ Please.” you whispered desperately, fighting against the man’s pull. “No…… no……. please…… no…… please…...stop” you begged, a tear falling from your eye. “Stop.” you whimper, not having enough energy to fight back.

The scientist was about to take a blood sample from you when a loud voice spoke. You were too busy being choked by one of the doctors to actually hear it but the doctor froze in his spot. “Hey dumb ass you heard her. Back off.” the male voice shouted. Two of the doctors immediately got up but the one choking you still kept his tight grip on your neck. “ You really sure you wanna do that? Huh?”: The man swallowed slowly and stood up, they grabbed their things and left the room in a hurry.

You breathed in quickly, your lungs finally getting fresh air. You coughed loudly and rubbed your hands on your wrists, trying to ease the pain. A tall man walked into the room after they were all gone. A tall man that you immediately recognized: James. You crawled as far away as your body and chains let you, trying to gain control over your body again.

He slowly walked towards you with his hands raised, showing that he wasn’t armed although you weren’t gonna fall for that trap again.

You closed your eyes, concentrating on your uneven breaths. After a few seconds you opened your eyes again, only to find yourself in a small room, surrounded by tall, black walls. You finally felt at peace, your body no longer aching, no more shaking. You felt your body completely freeze (idk it's like a coma but you’re in a different place its like your inside your mind. Idek if it makes sense. Stranger things for reference.) You calmed your panted breaths and regained your brain’s control.

You woke up with a jolt. James' face was covered with a confused look. “What have you done?” you snarled. “Listen, I know what you’ve been through but-” he answered calmly, but you quickly interrupted him, scoffing at his words. “ Boy, you have no fucking clue.” you mumbled. “Listen Y/n you may not know who I am because they never made us meet. They were too afraid. We would have been unstoppable together” he replied, closing his eyes as if he was trying to forget something. “ Uh uh. Sure. I’ll take that.” you answered back, not wanting to piss him off because this was the longest conversation you had ever held with someone and you were dying to see where it was going to end. “If you’re going to hurt me, could you please use one of the first 12 methods, I’m really tired of counting new ways to torture me after 1682.” you whispered knowing that HYDRA handlers couldn’t care less but what you didn’t know was that with Bucky’s super-hearing he had heard every single word and his heart broke.

As the Winter Soldier he had heard so much about you. They constantly compared her to him which amazed him greatly, he had heard that she was unbeatable, unpredictable and impossibly well trained. No one survived your missions. Ever. He had also found out that HYDRA’s men took pleasure from touting her, brain washing her and training her for hours non stop until she would faint 6 / 7 times. They forced her to go unconscious to take advantage of her. He was absolutely disgusted.

He had been through a lot and getting out of that infinite hole had been extremely hard but you had been through way more and for a longer period of time, getting out of it alive was going to be a hard challenge.

“What do you mean?” he questioned gruffly, determined to not show too many emotions, knowing you were able to manipulate any living thing. You didn’t say anything back, scared for your own safety, knowing too well a harsh beating would be coming soon. “You are going to stay here,” he announces. “And I’m going to help you.” You looked at him with wide eyes. Sometimes the moment in which after 20 years you were finally going to be free. Finally eat a full meal, walk outside, drink water without having to worry if its poisoned or not. That thought had ran across your mind a few times, briefly though before being cut off and silenced by brainwashing.

You scoffed silently “Yeah sure why would you wanna do that huh? Why would you wanna help a fucked up, high-skilled assassin like me?"You looked straight into his steel blue eyes. “ Because why not? I mean we’re all messed up here. What difference will one more fucked up person make?” He answered back, offering his hand out to you to help you stand.

You quickly stood up but lost your balance so you ended up putting your whole weight on the nearest wall. “What did you put in me?” you whispered, more to yourself rather than him. “It's to help you with all the drugs they fed you. It's supposed to bring back your strength.” He shrugged. “This burns like hell.” you whimpered, stretching your numb legs. You wiggled your wrists, showing him the chains you were still tied to. He nodded and the chains crumbled to the ground. You both made your way out of the room and found yourself walking across an empty corridor. “What's up with everything?” you questioned, not understanding why the corridor was so homey-looking. “Oh, don’t worry we just thought you’d wanna be with someone you trust at first and… um I guess as I’ve been in a similar situation, I wanted to help you too”. He answered calmly. You looked at him deeply “I guess they’re all fucking terrified of me aren't they?” He didn’t answer you. “Well I wouldn’t blame them” you mumble under your breath. “And um what makes you think I trust you?” You question with a cold stare. “Why aren’t you scared of me?” you questioned quietly.

The man walking beside you was different. His way of thinking amazed you. It was different. He didn’t see you as a poor captured girl, a very mentally unstable woman with a very insane mind. Not a girl with severe PTSD and anxiety nor a highly trained assassin with no backstory except HYDRA.

“Nothing scares me anymore. Besides I don’t see why I should be afraid of you:” He answered slowly, a small smirk making its way on your face.

"We'll see about the trust thing dude"

**************

I am truly so sorry that I've kept you waiting for so long. A lot has happened and I really couldn't keep on writing. I've missed it tho lol. I hope this makes up for it. This wasn't exactly what I was going for but I don't really hate it so I'll just go with the flow and idk we'll see. Oh and if you have any suggestion for what could happen please don't hesitate to text me!!!

Elle

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rhydium · 4 years

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Info dumbo about the StarFinite story?

aright u asked for it anon GET READY [cracks knuckles] this is gonna be long so obligatory cut in 3, 2........

...1!

so the uh, the au! the story!! w/e yall wanna call it! full disclaimer, i only began working on this whole thing a while ago, but it's totally taken over my fukn brain. like, we're talking big hyperfixation hrs. am i cringe for being this invested in my own content? yes? cool i do not Care >:3€

i should also throw it out there real quick that i am kin w/ infinite, n this is actually one of my two canons (both of which are my own aus lmfao wow). i didn't go into it expecting it to be but sfsfsgdfs here we are ig!! for that reason it's got extra importance to me n this definitely contributes to the euphoria i get from it!! it's a lil odd writing ur own canon,,? but i kinda just go w/ the flow!

the au n, the story that i will start Eventually, revolves around infinite n starline (obvi) n it's honestly just ... the tl;dr is big healing momence n, what's this? uh oh sisters !!! they are falling in love 😳😳😳

uhhhh so infinite is an android, made by eggman. that's like, the most notable canon divergence here! super important context to have. i've got a whole big theory on the possibility of sega originally intending infinite to be an artificial being (which i explored in the works for my Other canon too), stemming from not only the scene in forces wherein infinite comments on sonic's "data", but a line of dialogue from tails in one of the last stages of the game where he Literally Says "so this is where eggman built infinite". that ... i mean. that contrasts w/ episode shadow pretty hard don't it?? would explain why that dlc was so rushed, n the comic too. ANYWAY adsfsfs um that's a seperate ramblepost. yeah!!!

they are also agender n use they/them (primarily) as well as he/him!! so i'll be refering to them w/ those pronouns!

after the war, infinite is taken in by the resistance n, instead of being dismantled, they're basically given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. it's agreed that they won't be reprogrammed, as despite the potential risks, it feels wrong to do so; like a violation of their free will, individuality n thinking. if infinite is to be a good person, it's not gonna be bc other ppl recreated their entire personality, it's gonna be bc it's what they themselves truly want. robot ethics idk man!! u can't tell me that sonic n co wouldn't offer this to infinite if they offered it to metal in IDW,,,, i am Standing By This!!!

it's, yknow, a bit rocky, at first. infinite has to really fight the urge to return to eggman (something they already tried once, before the resistance found them; they were cast out). it's a struggle against what they were built to do, against giving into unhealthy familiarity over facing a, while healthier, unfamiliarity. new faces, a new life, turning their back on their mission n creator, it's like, a lot.

they work for/with the sonic crew, rebuilding the world they tore down as deemed fitting justice, being closely monitored for a bit as a natural precaution. as it becomes apparent infinite truly no longer has any ambition to harm others (they don't have much ambition for anything, really), they're then granted more freedom, n start taking on more important missions!! it at least gives them something to do, keeps them occupied. they have issues with dissociation, unreality, whether they're truly a real person bc, well, android. feeling purposeless, n a lack of worth, especially. a need to prove themselves. heavy stuff. i'll kinda go into that a bit more in a sec. their work grounds them, if only temporarily.

n soooooo... IDW comic stuff happens. metal virus time. starline gets kicked out of the empire.

now, as the comics are ongoing, n as this is already an au, there's gonna be divergence, n i must admit i haven't planned out all that yet. there's a lot i have to consider!! infinite being w the resistance/restoration is a big game changer ... tho i Do believe that they were absent, likely on a far out mission during most of the chaos. eggman doesn't know abt them, nor does starline or anyone else other than the sonic crew; n some civilians that recognise them.

i'm not 100% sure of Exactly when it happens, but i think it's just after bad guys, that infinite is sent to locate n bring in starline. it doesn't prove too difficult. there's a whole, starline realising "oh fuck it's you???", some bickering n, the two don't hit it off right away. they're both kinda like. not mentally stable ddgddgdds,,,

so uh. starline ends up essentially going thru the same sorta shit as infinite. careful watch, rebuilding, all that jazz, making sure he can be trusted. he's like... very very lost, quite like infinite is. the world has kinda calmed down, in the meanwhile.

it's at this point i'm gonna go ahead n drop a bit of a ramble i subjected my friends to a while ago, to articulate the way i see the two, n their dynamic together!! i was considering making this it's own post a while ago!

analysing their characters a bit... let's look at starline. Like. so we have this, in bad guys, which SENT ME tbfh;

i feel like it's the moment that triggers starline onto the path he is rn canonically,,, he's clearly like. rly mad n bitter. the core of this?? he wants his work n his efforts to be acknowledged.

he's big angry. still kind of in denial at this stage. he has himself obsessed w/ the idea of making eggman see him as Worthy, that if he just tries hard enough, that'll happen. he's dependent on eggman's validation, n i mean, it's no surprise; he's followed him a Long Time by the sounds of it.

then in the recent issue, hold the fuck up, bc we got, This;

god. my god it's all comin together now homies. this???? this right here??? it is the CLASSIC "i have to do this to prove i'm strong n powerful n smart n worthy n should be respected please Give Me Acknowledgement" ..... n who else is Like That? can u see where im going w/ this?

i think most ppl are aware of infinite's character being extremely indicative of self worth/esteem issues n the need to prove themself, right?? the extreme adversity, repulsion, perhaps even fear toward the idea of being weak. the compulsion to prove otherwise, to show their strength, to become powerful, to conquer to make a point. their theme exudes this same energy as their behaviour in-game; an aggressive attitude, trying to assert themself, while if u rly listen...? the lyrics are actually really sad in places. it reeks of cover up, although composition wise, a v interesting thing to note is a lot of the more telling lyrics are prominent while some of the affirming ones are in the background. indicative of a desire to have their true feelings be heard but caught in a vicious loop?

okay okay that's yet Another different analysis. AHEM.

not to get deep on main (oh who the hell am i kidding that's the point of this entire thing) but i think starline has issues w/ his worth in a similar way to infinite. they both seem to have this need to Prove something, whether it's to others or themselves, n get caught in a toxic spiral of doing worse n worse things for Some kind of validation or acknowledgement. they'll go to really big lengths chasing that, n both of them ultimately sought validation in the wrong place n wrong way.

this is a big part of my starfinite dynamic,, n so, what happens, as they get closer n open up??? we have them BOTH realising together that they don't have to do fuck all to prove anything to anyone. they don't need to do all this to show they're strong n smart n worth something, not to anyone else OR themselves. they're enough as they are. they bond over that shared feeling that they have to do xyz, to prove themselves, n that desire to just finally be acknowledged n appreciated n help each other thru it. to help each other understand that other ppls approval, or lack thereof, doesn't define them, their strength, intelligence, and worthiness.

i feel like they have an interesting parallel between them in like... the above could be taken as a general analysis, but to go more in depth on this au specifically?? ...

starline followed eggman for presumably a long time n it no doubt left him feeling a heavy and deep regret for all that time wasted n spent on an unhealthy path. infinite kinda teaches him that what matters is what he's doing Now n also reminds him that if none of it happened, starline wouldn't have learnt a lot of the serious skills he has. n while starline still feels bad, he also realises himself that, he likely never would have crossed infinite's path if none of it happened. for that reason, he wouldn't take it back.

infinite has only been recently made, on the other hand. they haven't really existed long, yet, but so far their experiences haven't been very positive n it can be .... discouraging. starline sorta, shows infinite their limited experiences w/ the world are a very tiny fraction of what's out there, n things can absolutely change, yes, including for the better; that's the essence of life, a neverending, constant flow of change.

it's a big tale of moving on n letting go, honestly; made easier as they're doing it together. n as they heal n grow, well... these bitches gay. sfshshdgds like, ig that's putting it p bluntly but!! they start to trust each other, understand each other more. as they get to truly know who the other is, they both start developing The Feelings. they're both pretty oblivious n the reveal is totally unknown so far!! yeah, i know, bummer. i suck. boo. adafsfsds however i can say there will be lots of content in the making!! if that soothes the soul! i've got of ideas i hope to bring to life.

ofc there's still a lot of more specific things i haven't covered here so! if y'all want more juice hmu w/ more focused questions but !! this is the overview n i hope it was a decent read now that gave some uhhh! Cool Insight! yea!!! ✌

#jackal.txt #android infinite au #i need a proper name for this #infinite the jackal #dr starline #starfinite #long post #idw sonic spoilers

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thistangledbrain · 3 years

Text

Ok y’all, I’m sorry I’m having to catch up! We got a new foster in a few days ago - a particularly broken soul - and my mind has been *entirely* on him. But he’s settling in a little now, so here’s the last 3 days in one post ☺️

Autism Acceptance Month

Day 10!

“Sensory Life”

This is sort of hard to describe, but I’ll try! This is different from the next entry about stims, though both are sensory related.

It’s like being on microdosed ‘shrooms *all the time*. If you don’t know what that’s like, I’ll try to describe (this is collaborated with a friend who regularly does this - I don’t...it would probably be far too overwhelming).

Colors are far sharper to me & I emotionally react to them far more than most people. That results in some colors being genuinely offensive - not just “I don’t like that color”, but it will make me intensely angry or physically sick. This makes me curious about chromotherapy, but I haven’t really looked into it that much. My tolerance of certain colors can ebb and flow depending on my emotional state/mindset. (This crap is so sharp, I’m actually getting a twinge of irritation just *thinking* about my most hated colors LOL 😂 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Textures/skin sensations are another big one. (By now you may be asking, how TF did this chick manage Marine Corps training/exercises?!) I guess if you want something bad enough, you can shut down some of the overwhelming aspects of the sensory thing...this ability to disassociate probably isn’t what NT’s would call “healthy”, but it’s quite handy if you’re autistic, and those of us who have been through real trauma seem to be especially skilled with our ability to just shut off all circuits and “embrace the suck”). Like...I’ll nearly panic to get out of a store or something if my underwear starts feeling uncomfortable, but I’ve literally been soaked head to toe, covered in mud and sand in my *everywhere* (and I HATE SAND anywhere but on my feet) AND I pissed myself, because nobody’s gonna stop shooting/training just because you have to go potty 🙄), and I remember literally giving zero fucks about it...so it really is entirely a mindset thing. But let’s talk about when I’m NOT in “Marine mode” (cuz let’s face it, it’s been close to two decades since I got out, and I no longer HAVE to tolerate overwhelming sensations).

Sensory input is just basically dialed to 11 & the knob’s been snapped off. Bright lights, loud discordant noises, too much touching/not touching the right way, things like that. I am particularly sensitive about body hair (my own). I *strongly* prefer to have my head shaved on the back and sides (but I leave the top long). The only time I haven’t done this, was in the Marines (it was considered “eccentric” and not allowed, so they made me grow it out). Even though I leave the main part long, it’s *always* in a bun or ponytail - well, unless I’m super dressed up for something, but even then I prefer some sort of updo. Despite the fact that I like my long hair (well on the top anyway), I can’t *stand* the way it feels on my neck or especially my face - I HATE IT when my hair touches my face. If I wasn’t married...there’s a decent chance I’d just shave it all off and be done with it LOL 😆 My ponytail pulled through the back of a baseball hat is I guess what they’d call my “signature look”.

And you think NT’s have bad misophonia? *I’ve jumped out of a moving vehicle before* to get away from the noise of someone chewing loudly/smacking their lips in the back seat (he was a coworker and punching him in the mouth - which is what I DESPERATELY wanted to do - would have gotten me fired 😕)...but humans eating, or dogs licking their junk, makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. It’s mostly humans though....you have *no idea* the level of self discipline it takes to keep me from either rage crying or actually getting violent around someone smacking their mouth during a meal. I *cannot* be around my husband when he’s eating breakfast cereal even though he’s a very mannered eater - I don’t know why, but it’s *so loud* (and I’m terribly hard of hearing) - it sounds like he’s chewing rocks. It took us years to work this problem out LOL - he thought it was dumb that I had such a deeply emotional reaction. Then he tried to “chew quietly”, which all that did was slow down the rock tumbler inside his mouth 😂...gradually, for everyone’s sanity, we realized that cereal eating should not be done in close proximity to each other lololol....and now, when it’s time for family meals around the table, I’ve learned to either keep the range hood fan going (white noise is definitely my friend), or have the TV on. If it’s just mainly the sound of everyone chewing, I simply won’t eat at the table. I lose my appetite. (And all of my dinner guests/family are very polite diners. It’s MY hangup.) Phone calls are another big one. I could probably come up with several reasons why I hate it...I LOATHE it. This is one sensory hangup some people in my family just refuse to accept. I don’t think they realize I equate unexpected or immediately demanded phone calls to running naked though a mall or getting a root canal. Hissssssssss!! Give me some time to prepare myself for this shit please - you’re actually asking a *lot* from me. (And when I do have a call? Ugh I babble and am so awkward, because I’m so effing uncomfortable, which I also hate.)

But here’s an area where my “sensory overload” serves me very well:

Dogs.

I am usually *intensely* dialed into the energy and body language of an animal, but particularly dogs. I’m *so* sensitive to them, that I often actually can feel things even happening behind my back - can basically sense the energy in the area shift. (Roughly 75% of the time. I’m spacey sometimes too LOL.) The work I do with “behaviorally challenged” dogs is the biggest area where I am *grateful* for my autistic mind. I don’t think I could really do the things I do without it, successfully. (I can do this to a large degree with people as well, as can my youngest son. You cannot lie to that boy about your feelings or mood.)

We all have different levels of sensory sensitivity and different triggers, but every autistic I know has several “sensory hangups”. It often is one of our biggest hurdles to deal with, when it comes to “normal functioning”. So, many of us constantly have headphones (or muffs) on, some of us wear sunglasses *all the time*, etc (I wear a baseball hat - and I genuinely don’t like going anywhere where I have to get dressed up and can’t wear my hat. Been like that since my early teens. That hat shields me from all sorts of real and imagined sensory triggers.) You do what you can to mitigate, you know? But my “microdosing shrooms” and “knob dialed to 11 and snapped off” is really the best way I can summarize. (And that’s not all bad - my trips into a new natural space, like the redwoods, is an absolute *thrill*. I also occasionally love sensory overload - many auties do - like rollercoasters. My youngest son and I can ride till we pass out LOL!) So sensory life is love/hate, really....but I don’t think I’d change much about it.

Except the fucking misophonia. I hate that I go into almost a murderous rage over someone just chewing food loudly 🤦🏻‍♀️ - but seriously. It’s impolite anyway. Don’t do it. 😆

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Day 11!

Stims

This is one of the biggest areas where neurotypicals struggle to understand us.

We all have stims. Stims are basically any stimulus that brings us joy or comfort. It could be rocking, flapping, walking in tight little circles, clicking your fingernails together, spinning, making weird sounds or whistling, etc. And it’s usually repetitive - that’s the part that gets on people’s nerves.

I’ve found that most *women* hide most of our stims. We only let go and stim our little hearts out when we’re alone. I do that, because some of my stims grate on my husband. Sometimes I don’t WANT to feel “watched” anyway...I’ve noticed males don’t have quite the same issue with that.

I have quiet stims I do to soothe myself, and happy stims. One of my quieter stims when I’m trying to soothe myself (like in public) is clicking my teeth, particularly my right canines. I also have this silicone bite stick I wear around my neck sometimes, that I chew on (my sons like the bite sticks as well). I carry a little bag of fidget toys in my purse, to soothe myself with when I’m stressed. There’s a thing sort of like a fidget cube, a little cowrie shell and twine bracelet that I fiddle with almost like a rosary, a small stuffed axolotyl (her name is Blossom), and a few other toys. My little stash also comes in damn handy when I encounter a bored child LOL!

One of my sons makes funny little sound effects randomly (and he’s grown & still does it). The other used to randomly shriek when he was younger - then he learned how to whistle, so he couldn’t say a whole sentence without punctuating it with little whistles (we actually thought it was adorable).

My favorite stim is putting my headphones on, putting on some favorite music, sitting with my legs crossed, closing my eyes, and rocking. I’m happy to TELL you about this stim, but it’s one I do alone, because I like to get completely lost in it and I can’t do that if I feel I’m being watched...and you’ll damn near give me a heart attack if you touch me while I’m lost in that world. (And boy does it irritate me to get yanked out of that before I’m ready, for some bullshit non emergency reason.) Better to just isolate myself (except my dogs are always with me). Another one I do alone - and I have no idea why i like it so much - is squeaking my bite stick across my teeth. (This one is weird to me because I usually HATE my teeth being touched...yes dentists are a problem.) This one I enjoy doing kind of mindlessly while I read, but damn would it irritate anyone in listening distance LOL...I mean, it would irritate the shit out of ME if someone else was doing it, because *other people’s* repetition, especially if it makes noise, gets on my damned nerves. 🙄 Figures lmao!

Stims can be damaging sometimes, though. Like I used to twist and twirl my hair when I was younger so much that the areas I usually grabbed were frayed and broken (I also chewed my hair sometimes). One stim I cannot break myself of even though sometimes it’ll make me bleed, is chewing the insides of my cheeks or my lips. That’s my most frequent (several times a day) one, and the one that is both gratifying *and* soothing. It’s also the one that’s hardest to suppress.

Some auties are either unaware or literally don’t care how you feel about their stims, but I am and do. I’d like to think I’m pretty “appropriate” *most* of the time with my stims and other people around, except the lip/cheek chewing. If my husband notices I’ve gotten pretty furious about it (even using my hand to push my cheek into optimal biting position), he’ll gently put his hands on mine to bring me back to awareness - if I’m gnawing away, I’m either super stressed or way lost in thought. Either way, I can accidentally hurt myself, so he gently guides me away/distracts me.

Stimming is an important part of Autie life and should not be discouraged unless it hurts Your Pet Autie ™️.

And if you’re looking for a neat gift for an Autie? They actually make stim toy packs. Get them one, they’re fun. ☺️ (Most stim toys are designed to withstand being put in mouths and bitten/chewed, too - LOTS of us have oral fixations.) And hey, even if you’re a NT, try stimming sometime (lots of normal people have stims, they just don’t realize that’s what they are - like nail biting. Bite your nails a lot? Get a bite stick!! God they’re so satisfying!)....

Happy stimming!

———————————————-

Day 12!

“Favorite Autism Charity”

This one is short and easy: ASAN. Autism Self Advocacy Network.

“The Autistic Self Advocacy Network is a nonprofit organization run by and for individuals with autism. According to its mission statement, the Network’s goal is ‘to empower autistic people across the world to take control of our own lives and the future of our common community, and seek to organize the autistic community to ensure our voices are heard in the national conversation about us.’”

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Day 13!

“Family”

Well that’s kinda ambiguous, isn’t it? 😒

I’ll start with this tack:

Being an autistic mom with autistic kids.

I mean for years, none of us KNEW LOL - and maybe that’s what took me so long to get around to pursuing a formal diagnosis for my youngest. To me, for the longest time, he was just sensitive and different like me (same with my oldest, for the most part, but I’m pretty sure that was me buying into the “brilliant people are just fucking weird ok” mindset also), yannow? So it was like, “well mama always told me I’d have one like me & then know what I put her through” 🙄 My oldest got lumped into the “all bright kids are quirky” category - but as I learned about ASD through my youngest and myself, it became damn obvious the oldest was also in our camp. (He’s taken the prelim test now anyway, but is not formally diagnosed.) I genuinely believe that our “shared weirdness” binds us very tightly to each other - and I’m super pleased about that.

It brought a whole new level of understanding and awareness within our little family when we realized it was ASD I guess - and acceptance. (I 100% believe that diagnosis - or even affirmation - is critical to our self acceptance and understanding.) I wouldn’t trade my little family for anything, and consider myself remarkably blessed. I can talk about how complex and brilliant my boys are ALL day (and often do LOL). Hubby is neurodivergent, and can identify with (or at least sympathize with) MANY of our hangups....but he’s “normal” enough that he’s been able to guide us (mostly me) with things like how to use tact (not often a skill we naturally possess lmao). My heart breaks when I read posts by auties whose families either don’t understand or don’t accept them & are constantly trying to basically mute who they are. Auties “live out loud”, and some people find that off putting. I know growing up, I was constantly getting my ass chewed for being “dramatic” or too sensitive, too, so I shut down and hid my sensitivity far, far away. I’m only *lately* (last few years) discarding that silly tough girl mask. (I can still be quite the little wolverine at times, but I’m not afraid to show my soft sensitive actual self anymore...to stay soft in today’s fucked up world takes actual courage - a lot of it - and strength. I was looking at the concept of being “strong” entirely the wrong way.)

I swear my husband has lived with nearly as many phases and facets, as years we’ve been together. Sometimes I ask him if this ever bothers him. He says no, because who I am at my core never changes...and he grins and says “and you damn sure aren’t boring” 😂

But since I’ve known I’m autistic, I’ve given myself more freedom to discover who I am without these socially dictated parameters. And permission to be precisely who I am, without cringing apologies when the real me shines through awkwardly.

And my husband and boys have been there every step of the way, embracing me, as we do with them. ♥️

Yeah. I love my family. We’re some pretty cool people. 😁

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nightwingshero · 4 years

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Rosemary, abatina, dill, hollyhock, and sweet pear for whoever you feel like talking about! 💜

Thank you, hun!!! I did a mixture, because I’m missing some old OCs of mine, and some need serious development. Yeah, so it got really long, I am so sorry!

Rosemary: What's their fondest memory?

Blair: It would probably be laying out in the backyard with her dad while they watched the stars, or her dad buying her that nice telescope that he’d use with her. It meant a lot to her that her parents indulged when it came to her interests, they were always supportive. Most of her time was spent at aquariums, the observatory, zoos, and just doing a lot of stuff with her parents. Science fairs were always a blast, because her parents would help.

Emma: This would be either her and her brother Mark playing in the pond they had or playing football on the beach in the summer. Em would also work on an old Mustang, one she’s still helping him build, and Ash would come over most days and they would all just have a huge dinner in the backyard. Georgia gave decent weather for it. Most of her fondest memories are with her family or Ashton, because they grew up together and did a lot together when Emma’s family moved there. A beautiful, sunny day in Summer always takes her back.

Quinn: There were times where they would travel back to Russia to visit the remaining members of his mother’s family, and he would love it. Quinn absolutely adored his babushka, and the stories she would tell. His mother would tell the same tales, but it wasn’t the same as how his babushka would tell it. There was also sailing with his father. That was something Quinn thoroughly enjoyed, and it was something they continued on doing until his father died.

Wren: Definitely playing piano with her mother! That is probably the most precious moment for her. When she plays it now, she still feels as if her mother is there with her. Not only that, but her music teacher was her one good thing growing up. Mrs. Hall taught Wren how to actually play, and when Wren would sneak to lessons (under the guise of studying or going to the library), Mrs. Hall would often bake cookies and brownies for Wren, as if she were her own grandmother. Wren attended her funeral when she passed, and it actually felt like she had lost her grandmother when she heard. But those are memories she holds dear.

Abatina: Are they very picky or particular about anything?

Blair: Not really, no. Blair is rather easy going and goes with the flow. I think the one thing would be don’t touch her work station. It’s organized chaos with an actual system that only she knows, and she will absolutely lose it if you mess with anything because that’s her life’s work you’re messing with. I think that could be said for any scientist though, and she is very verbal about it. It’s a light reminder, or a happy request until you get too close and she becomes slightly frazzled and makes you keep your distance.

Emma: She can be an absolute control freak and has to have things a certain way (whether that’s because she was in the Marines or if she inherited it from her mother, who’s to say?) No eating in her cars, don’t touch her guns, and if you’re going along with her on something, you’re following her lead. Ashton, Nora, and even Roach give her hell for it, but honestly? Sometimes she can’t help it. Emma has a habit of taking control of a situation when it calls for it and she’s a super organized and neat person. Everything has it’s place, things are cleaned or done a certain way, and she would rather just do it herself.

Quinn: His hair and shoes. Listen, Quinn is very boyish in looks (there’s a reason Ryan Gosling is his faceclaim) and his hair is usually neat or done how he wants it. He’s not overbearing about it, he just takes his time with it because he does put care into his appearance. His shoes are shined, his clothes match and his outfit is sharp, he doesn’t go more than a few days without shaving. Once the Collapse happens, it’s one of the things he can control, so he does. Grayson often jokes he’s the prettiest guy of Armageddon, but Quinn laughs with him.

Wren: She doesn’t like it when other people drive. Having been in a traumatizing car accident, she prefers to be at the wheel for that sense of control. It’s honestly makes her so damn anxious when that’s not the case, and Quinn drives like a damn maniac from time to time in New Dawn. She will cling to something for dear life, and absolutely will backseat drive. It leads to a lot of spats between her and Jane, Quinn, and Ivy.

Dill: Do they have any rivals?

Blair: I would say that one of the biggest would be John Constantine. Blair is skeptical when it comes to the mystical and supernatural, needless to say, she absolutely does not believe in magic. However, when the Particle Accelerator went off, someone close to her was wearing a totem or a spiritual pendent that got mixed into her meta powers (it’s how she can cosmic project and do some of the things she can with energy manipulation...it also helps balance out her going supernova and such), so...some of her powers are part of the arcane. Johnny knew that the second he met her, so when she gave him grief and became skeptical when he was helping Ollie bring Sara’s soul back, he just smirked at her and went “hate to burst your little bubble, love--” and honestly, they’ve been at it from there.

Emma: Ha! Emma is competitive and very proud, so yeah, she has rivals, some more fun than others though. For example, her rivalry with Nikolai (and sometimes Price) is who can drink the other under the table. Yuri...well, they ended up in a fist fight on a misunderstanding when they first met, so while he’s working with her and the 141, there’s definitely some rivalry there with them trying to one up the other. She’ll spar with Ghost to see who is better too. Honestly, she’s always up for a challenge, and its something she shares with a lot of her fellow Marines back home--including her cousin and her teammates.

Quinn: John fucking Seed. Listen, they hate each other, full on loathing, because Quinn isn’t afraid to point out that he’s in a cult and we all know how John is when someone makes him feel insecure and inadequate...with Quinn he very much does, even if that isn’t his intention. It also doesn’t help that John notices how Quinn looks at his wife from time to time, and he doesn’t appreciate it, but the biggest thing is that Quinn openly challenges him on everything. To Quinn, he wants to poke holes in his logic and show that John isn’t at all what he thinks he is. Quinn is a natural leader, he had been in the Navy, he knows what that looks like and he’s quick to call John out on shit. Wren gives him a bit of a run, too, their rivalry just happens to uh...turn into something else.

Wren: Holly Pepper and Mary May Fairgrave. Those are the two that gives her the most trouble. In any other scenario (and in most AUs), Wren and Mary May get along just fine, but in canon? Wren straight up punches her in the face. There’s more to it, of course. Wren is being worn down by people wanting her to do this and that for the Resistance, her constantly being pulled in every direction and being forced to give to people without them giving in return. And Mary May wouldn’t shut up about the truck, while saying Wren was dragging her feet on what the Resistance needed done (mostly because Wren was sleeping around with John, but they didn’t know that yet), and Wren just gets overwhelmed with frustration and anger, and straight up punches her in the face and tells her “if you want the truck so damn bad, go get it yourself”, and storms out. Holly Pepper later becomes an issue because she knows John slept around with her, and Holly loves shoving it in Wren’s face. So...Holly ends up dying because she straight up attacks Wren, and Jane helps her with it because she knows that John has a soft spot for Wren. Plus there’s that little shit Quinn in New Dawn...they’re a lot of fun.

Hollyhock: What's their biggest goal right now?

Blair: Currently, it’s to find her place and stride with the team and her powers. She just wants to not have to lay awake at night and worry she’ll lose control again and hurt her friends and loved ones. Her whole life has changed, and there are still things that are throwing her off. She needs to find her footing again and feel more confident in what she’s become. Helping people, including herself and teammates/friends, is what’s most important to her.

Emma: As of right now, it’s to regroup and hunt down Makarov. She’s still healing from when Shepherd took out the 141 base and tried to kill her, Ashton, and Nora. The stitches are still healing a bit, but she’s pumped up and ready to take him down. Her goal, and focus, is doing whatever Price and Soap need her to do. It’s almost tunnel vision at this point.

Quinn: Take down the Highwaymen and fix whatever bullshit Whitney and Wren have going on. He won’t at all pretend he knows what fucking type of politics they have in New Eden, or what rules they’re going by, but it’s very damn clear that Ethan is no good and needs taken down. Him and Grayson came because Carmina asked Rush, and they were never ones to back down from a challenge, not when it comes to helping those in need. So, he’s gonna take down Mickey and Lou, allow Grayson to avenge Rush while protecting Prosperity, and then stand with Wren and Whitney as they take over New Eden.

Wren: That depends on if we’re talking Far Cry 5 or New Dawn, but she’s mostly taking out the head Seed and establishing peace. She’s trying to do what’s right, and whether that’s for herself (which is the eventuality of her changing sides) in Far Cry 5, or for their people and her family in New Dawn (overthrowing Ethan and opening New Eden to more freedoms.) It’s all revolved around Eden’s Gate though, and she agrees to help Quinn and Grayson because she still cares about Kim and Nick, and much of the others, so it’s just a pitstop on her plan.

Sweet pea: If you had to choose a favorite dessert for them, what would it be?

Blair: Crème Brule, strawberry shortcake, or chocolate lava cake. You could say all of the above, to be honest, she loves sweets. Blair is always snacking, and they’re usually little cakes, fruits, or something sweet. There’s a reason crepes are her favorite breakfast foods, fruit and sweet? Yes. Which I guess you could add porfait on the breakfast menu too, in that case...anyway, snacking is usually something her and Mick has in common, though she’s not constantly looking for it the way he is. Mick finds food in missions and randomly...Blair is more disciplined than that. She will grab stuff for him a lot of the times if they’re in the same room or if she’s working near him. Leonard just stares between them, he’s not sure what he thinks of their comrade (he also lost his more recent memories, so he can shut it.)

Emma: Dark chocolate cake or tarts. Anything that has a bitter or sour tinge to it, because she’s not really a sweets person. Not when it comes to that, at least. She loves her mom’s sweet tea (and homemade lemonade). But she just would have something like raspberry butter cookies, cherry pie, or even an old fashioned ice cream (yes, with bourbon). She loves dark chocolate though. And tiramisu.

Quinn: Oh, he loves the Russian desserts his mom would make, and honestly, Quinn has such a sweet tooth. Bird’s milk cake, Russian rugelach, waffle cakes, and especially kartoshka. He would help his mom (or babushka when they would visit Russia), and would eat them with Russian tea they would make. He also enjoys many flavors of gelato.

Wren: Cheesecake. Without a doubt. She has always been, and will forever be, in love with cheesecake. And all kinds, if we’re being totally honest. She will eat any flavor, she feels strongly about it. You wanna piss her off easily? Eat her cheesecake. Wanna get on her good side again? Bring her cheesecake. John does. Whenever he’s in trouble, he throws a cheesecake on it. She’s constantly eating it to the point Whitney and Rowan have both reminded her that it’s not a meal. Does she listen? No.

#oc: blair chambers #oc: emma miller #oc: quinn langdon #oc: wren blake #my ocs #asks #arrowverse #call of duty #far cry new dawn #far cry 5

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iamkatehardy · 5 years

Text

Soft Eddie

By @clubcheapwhitewine

For all those who didn't ask for it. ;)

warning: Watch out! It's getting cheeeesy af!

You shut your eyes, your heart was pounding like crazy as you tried to bring your breath under control. A quite hard plan, if not a dead issue. It was silent, you didn't dare to move a tiny bit and it felt like your own breath were that heavy, you had no doubt it must be the only thing he could hear in this moment. Although none of you touched the other one, his warmth seemed to flow through your body and you swallowed a moan which crawled up your throat by the thought of his hands anywhere on your skin. You knew his lips were only inches away from yours. Eddie let out a gentle, trembling sigh which caused you to open your eyes again just to find yourself look him straight in the eye. He slowly gazed over your face and stopped by your lips for a few seconds. His tongue slid over his own bottom lip before he looked back into your eyes.

A few hours earlier you were in that small bar together with Steven, your best friend Jess and Eddie. It was a spontaneous, casual thing and a kind of unusual combination. You didn't have that much contact with those two guys. They are rather friends of Jess, but the few times you met them were always fun, so you couldn't help but say yes as they asked you to accompany them.

"I'll get us the first round of drinks." Eddie said as you entered the bar together. "Any special wishes?" He watched back over his shoulder but didn't even wait for an answer as he made his way to the bar. You looked at the other two, raising your brows. "Come on, let's find us a seat." you grinned at them. After quickly scanning the small room with your eyes you made out some free seats in the back. You made your way toward the comfortable sitting area in a corner. The lights were dimmed, there were candles in old bottles at the table and it seemed to be all cosy and kind of intimate. "Hmm, romantic." Jess said with a little smirk playing around her lips and a meaningful look into your eyes as she slipped to the bench. You furrowed your brows in confusion, raising one of them. Jesses gaze wandered away from your eyes and focused on something behind you. Before you could turn around to see what she's looking at you felt something cold brushing your back slightly, a pair of pouty lips and a low husky voice right between your left ear. "I think she's right." Eddie said. You jumped a small step back with a gasp. "Woh woh woh, sweetie. Watch out." Eddie stood behind you, holding a full pitcher. The beer in it nearly splashed over from Eddie's quick motion as he flinched away from you. With your mouth still open from shock you looked from the swashing beer over to Eddie. A warm, boyish smile spread on his face as he saw your expression. Maybe you were watching for a little bit too long, but was he already that handsome when you saw him the last few times? "Doll, you look like you could have a drink." he said, still amused about your little performance. "Or two." you replied. "You should be lucky I've got that super fast reflexes so I saved our beer." he said with a wink to you and you couldn't help but smile at him. A cool drink would be great. You slightly nod and slid to the space right between Jess, who was sending you an air-kiss as she catched your gaze. Eddie placed a glass in front of each of you and poured the beer. He sat down next to you and poured a beer for himself before he raised his glass, waiting for the rest of you doing the same. "This evening may be the best of our lifes." he toasted. "Cheers!" you said in chorus. Turning his head to you he added: "And to fast reflexes." before he took his first sip and licked his lips afterwards. As he looked back at you he suddenly grunts out with amusement. "What? You should get over it Eddie." you said, squinting your eyes. He raised his hands up in defence. "Okay, okay, you're right, sweetie. It's just.. I never saw such a pretty moustache." he said, smirking. "Oh! Well, thank you then." you grinned back at him, swiping the froth away with the back of your hand. He reached over, stopping for a second. His eyes asked for permission and his gaze slid down to your lips again. You leaned forward in the slightest as if you were drawn by some kind of invisible energy. His thigh was pressed against yours as he went further and gently wiped away a tiny leftover of froth with his thumb. You closed your eyes and felt his thumb wandering across your bottom lip so delicate you almost couldn't feel it. As if he would wake up from a trance he suddenly broke the touch and you opened your eyes again. He cleared his throat. "There you go." he said lowly, without breaking eye contact. You hummed. A smile played around the corner of your lips. "Thank you, Eddie." You turned your head to look at the other two, whom were absorbed into a conversation with each other. You felt a small relief.

The rest of the evening was great. You bought the next round of beer and Jess and Steve had a few drinks more. Eddie and you were that deep in conversation, you even forgot to finish the second drink. You talked about everything and anything. A little smile here, a small touch there and some of a few seconds too long gazes which revealed a lot. You were hypnotized by his voice, his deep blue eyes and oh that inviting lips. The more time passed the more times your thoughts drifted away and you found yourself fantasizing about how it would feel to kiss those lips, to play with his hair, what he hides under his leather jacket and the shirt and how it would feel like if he'd touch your skin, your thighs, going further and further.. "(Y/N)? You with me?" Eddie's voice broke into your thoughts. You blinked a few times. "Uhm, yes?" You nibbled your bottom lip, feeling caught. "I think it's time to leave." he said smiling with a nod in Jesses and Stevens direction. They both were a giggling mess. You looked at the table, counting the empty glasses in front of them. "When the hell did they drink all this?" You asked surprised, covering your mouth with your hand. As your gaze met Eddie's again you both coudln't help but smile. "Well let's go, get that two wrecks into theirs beds." He got up. "Hey! I heart that!" Jess grumbled in protest, trying to look serious but couldn't hold it long before bursting out in apparently uncontrollable giggling again which Steven immediately joined. "Was it really just alcohol?" You quirked a brow.

It took Eddie and you a lot of strength and time to get Jess and Steven in their beds but you did it and as you finally shut the door of Stevens flat behind you, you high-fived. After a quick look to his watch Eddie eyed you for a moment. "So.. It isn't really that late yet. I mean.." he scratched the back of his head, looking to his feet. You smiled slightly at his sheepish behaviour. "I know it's maybe kind of weird and it would be absolutely okay if you wouldn't want.. It's just, my flat is only 5 minutes from here and I really enjoy the time with you, so.." he looked up again, wetting his lips. "I'd love to come with you Eddie." you said lowly, gifting him a shy smile. "Oh! Well then let's go!" He held his head higher again now, sliding his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans and led you to the house in which he lived. That boyish smile was back on his face and you could smell his aftershave as you walked close to his side. Your arms nearly touched but never did at the end. It was a silent walk. Both of you were lost in their own thoughts. He opened the door to his apartment and let you go first. It was rather small, but cosy and it smelled like him. It felt homely immediately and you inhaled his sweet scent for another time and a wave of warmth drove through your body. "So, that's your place, huh? I like it. It's really cosy." you beamed at Eddie whom took a bottle of wine out the fridge. You let one of your hands slide over the fabric of the sofa as you came closer to him. He answered with a grin, watching you. "You want some, doll?" He held the bottle up in your direction and you nodded.

Hearing that pet names out of his mouth with his deep, raspy voice and addressed to you made you feel this delicious tingle in your belly, every time he did it. "C'mon I want to show you something" he said, passing you a glass of wine. "Oh, mysterious. Okay, I'm interested now." You accepted the glass. "Thanks Eddie." you smiled and followed him. He opened the curtains in the living room and revealed a glass door. You were right behind him as he opened it and went further. You found yourself standing on a small balcony. It was decorated with pillows, plants and light chains. As you watched back to Eddie he was on his knees at a comfortable, padded space between pillows, lightning some candles in big jars. "Wow Eddie. I don't know what to say. That's amazing! I didn't thought you were such a romantic person." You couldn't help but giggle. "You think that's funny, doll? Huh?" He smiled his boyish smile. "No, no! It's just, I wasn't expecting that. But I love it." He leaned back on the pillows. Tapping one finger at your glass of wine nervously you watched him lying there, unsure what to do next. "Will you join me, or do you wanna stay there for the rest of the night?" Eddie asked, tucking his arms behind his head to have a better view to you. "I'm not ready with showing you things." He smirked. You laughed and hoped he wouldn't notice your tension. So you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, took a big sip of the wine and crawled to Eddie's side. "You need to lay down on your back, sweetie." You did like he said and as your gaze finally drifted to the sky your mouth formed into a silent 'o'. "See? I didn't finish showing you things." Eddie whispered. It was a clear late summer night, no clouds in sight. The black night sky was dappled by millions and millions of stars and it felt like you'd see all this for the first time in your life. It was like staring into infinity. A bitter sweet feeling of melancholy clouded your senses. While you were watching the sky Eddie was watching you. He studied your expression, stunned by every little motion in your countenance, willing to memorize every wrinkle and every beauty spot. He rolled over to his side, causing you to turn your head. You searched for a hint in his eyes of what he could think about. Eddie opened his lips to say something, wetting them slightly with his tongue. "(Y/N), you are beautiful." he mumbled. You bit your lower lip and blushed. "Well, I didn't think it would be possible but now you're even more beautiful." His fingers twitched. There you were.

He moved his head in the slightest, nuzzling his nose on yours. His warm breath stroked your lips. You closed your eyes and wished you could keep this moment forever. It was perfect. He was. The delicious knot in your belly crumbled, ready to burst. Eddie's lips brushed yours gently before he opened his mouth slightly, embracing your bottom lip with his own lips. You leaned in, eager to feel more of him, of his warm softness. Eddie let go your lip only to cover your whole mouth with his. It was a lingering kiss again. He was taking his time. His hand reached for your cheek now, stroking it delicately with his thumb. The little moan crawled up your throat again and this time you weren't willing to swallow it. So you let it go, digging your fingers into Eddie's chest. His hand slid from your cheek to your lower back. His large hand was pulling your willing body onto his own and he growled lowly as he felt your warmth against him. Your tongue shyly slid out of your mouth to grace his upper lip. He took a deep breath through his nose and as his tongue touched yours the knot in your belly finally bursted, sending a shock of delight trough your body. Your tongues danced a slow dance, both of you enjoying the other one kiss by kiss, lick by lick, second by second. "You taste as sweet as you are." he moaned against your mouth just to continue but this time more passionate and demanding which you accepted willingly. He nibbled and sucked your lips and your skin and so did you. Little moans of pleasure left your throats now and then, swallowed by the night and you both weren't tired at all.

———

I’m just leaving a little comment : this is absolutely amazing!

First of all, I was needing some Eddie fluff! And you are too, believe me, you do need this in your life 😍

This is just the right amount of funny and adorable 🥰 P-E-R-F-E-C-T. Every little thing makes sense and it’s so in character 😭❤️ Also, the way it’s written is so so good!

I love it, love it , love it! And you’ve got to read it 🥰

#eddie brock drabble #eddie brock imagine #eddie brock fanfic #eddie brock venom #eddie brock x you #eddie brock x reader #submission

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