#this is the last time i want to talk racism in this space

[zkvry]

Are You Laughing at My Brother? | Shelby Brothers x Sister!Reader

Summary : Y/N is just a year younger than John Shelby, though her immense instinct to protect her older brothers against their enemies reveals that the Shelby name is not to be trifled with.

Warnings : cussing, misogyny, death threats, guns, descriptions of violence, racism

Additional Information : > takes place in early season 1 ; Billy Kimber era (minor spoilers) > written in third person perspective (she/her) > 847 words | 6 minutes

Author's Note : decided to use some gifs along the way, might be distracting for your reading - I apologise. My first work on here, please let me know how you find it! Enjoy <3

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"Are you laughing, at my brother?" She speaks, appearing from behind the bar. For the first time since they've dared to enter the Garrison, Billy Kimber and his two men flinched slightly at her sternness. This only lasted a split second. Still, it didn't go unnoticed.

Billy Kimber flashes a cocksure smirk, pleased at the presence of something less dreadful than matter at hand. "And what do we have here,"

John lets out a humourless laugh. "I'd be careful with that one. She's feisty," He warns Billy Kimber with an all-knowing look.

Billy Kimber rakes his eyes over her physique. "This is no place for a whore - even a pretty one at that," He tuts mockingly, shaking his head.

Arthur inhales deeply as he fights the very last nerve to not cut the cheeky bastard across the face - to not slice his eyes for looking at his dearest little sister. The word 'whore' bounces around in his head. Arthur's lips twitch, knuckles turning white as he grips onto the arm rest for restraint.

He was waiting for a signal - a sound or nod of approval from Tommy or Her. Hell, he thinks, even John could command it and he would bloody do it. No questions asked.

Nonetheless, She makes her presence known. Almost like clockwork - one of the Shelby brothers stand and holds out his chair. In this moment, it was John. He extends his hand and escorts her to his previously occupied seat with care. Recklessly, he drags a chair for himself from a nearby table beside them, and plops down.

Billy Kimber clears his throat wearily but still as arrogant as before. "Right, he's the oldest, you're the thickest. I'm told the boss is called tommy so it can't be this woman you lot here seem to worship. Then I'm guessing that's you, cause you're looking at me up and down like I'm a fucking tart, " He spits out.

Thomas finally unclenches his jaw, the throbbing pain creeping onto him. He puts on a calm façade. Unmoving, he looks to Her direction.

Only when he saw She hadn't intervene, he spoke. "I want to know what you want. And which one am I talking to, which one of you is the boss?" Thomas breathes out as he takes a puff from a cigarette. His finger darting around from Billy Kimber to the two men that accompanied him.

Billy Kimber shoots up from his seat, knocking it to the ground. "I'm the fucking boss, alright!? Enough parley, you fixed the race without my permission. You fucking Gypsy scum. I run the races. You fixed one of 'em, so I'm going to have you shot against the post!" He declares - finger pointing threateningly to Thomas.

"Pick it up," She leans forward onto the table, hands intertwined infront of her.

Billy Kimber looks at her flabbergasted, "What?" He furrows his eyebrows, offended.

She stands slowly, the men around her straightening their backs in alert at her movement. She stares at him, unfriendly.

"I said," She continues, leaning forward once more, arms stretched out on the sides of the table, dominating the space at the table. "Pick. my chair. up," She repeats.

Billy Kimber remains stunned, seemingly not knowing what to do. The audacity of such a woman to demand him to pick up a chair? He was shocked to say the least, and outrageously insulted.

Ready to argue and humiliate her, Billy Kimber opens his mouth but She was quicker.

"You swayed your arse in here like you own the place. Guns out like you're flaunting fuck knows what," She speaks fluently, rage settling in. "We fixed your race, you put a bullet in my ceiling. That's fair, but then you had to run that fucking mouthpiece of yours didn't ya eh?"

"Want to put a bullet in my brother's head, is that it?" Like a predator, She stalks closer to him.

As She approaches, one of Billy Kimber's men crouched down and picked up the fallen chair. Just as the chair was upright, She gathered her strength and slammed Kimber's shoulders down onto the seat and held him still.

"Why don't we put one in yours?" She whispers into his ear, patting harshly on his right shoulder.

In an instant, Kimber's two men draw their guns.

The Shelby brothers lurch forward, in efforts to protect their sister infront of them, moving to draw their own guns as well.

However, the men who were supposedly loyal to Billy Kimber pointed their guns at the man himself. A sinister smile creeps onto Her face.

"Let's do proper business, shall we Mister Kimber? Starting off with your races, " She declares, moving to lower the guns that have been drawn by her brothers and the two men working for Her.

She turns abruptly to face Kimber. "Though, they wouldn't be your races any longer after we're done here, would they? " Her face suggestive of diplomacy, but voice laced with threat.

[kivedreams]

I WANT YOU. part. I knj.

pair. idol namjoon x f. reader. f. is latina poc.

genre. falling in love, established relationship, romance, marriage

warnings. +18 racism and colorism discussed [this part does not contain smut, but the story is not made for a minor audience] this super delulu coded [pls tell me if i missed anything ]

synopsis; you make my life shine, and I think I also make yours shine or you didn't know how hard a relationship with a famous person would be

word count: 4.7k

A/N: i let my delusions run free with this one, i think ill be four parts.

next part.

Just a the moment you thought the party was dying down they arrived, is not like you hated the idea of having a party, but this week has been hard on you, nothing went exactly as you planned, having your thesis send back two times in a row, draw you down, that thesis was the last thing between you and your PhD, you knew it was going to be hard, but God it really was testing you, of course you were happy for Namjoon today was a big day for him, he was finally releasing the book that he always wanted to publish a full guide on The Joseon era art and its influence in today's korean artwork, Namjoon was really proud of korean artists, so being able to pay homage to them was a big thing for him and for you, because Namjoon happiness was part of your own. 

The tight red dress that you were wearing might have been a bit too much, but it was Namjoon’s gift. It might have been tighter because you had put on some weight due to the stress of these months. Going to the gym or doing any type of exercise was the last thing on your mind. You would have been lying if you did not admit that, it was one of the things that were making you feel insecure tonight, your relationship was already hard, nobody believed that Namjoon the first born child of a korean family, the leader of the most successful kpop group and now Namjoon the writer would settle for you, a latin woman of color, that did not appeal to a single one of the korean standards, you weren't insecure by Namjoon’s feelings, but you were insecure on how everyone else feelings and prejudices might influence his decisions, is not like you were desperate for the ring, you really didn't need it, nor were you prepared for marriage, but sometimes it feel like the only thing that could silenced all the voices in your head, all the social media talk, and of course everyone around you. 

“Y/N?” He called for you. You were still in the balcony of the apartment, seated in the light brown handmade chair you purchased for the space, with a glass of wine enjoying the Seoul night, a slight breeze, and of course the beauty of the balcony Namjoon and you have crafted together, a lot of plants were everywhere accompanied by artworks and souvenirs that you both had collected through the years, some on your travels together, some alone.

“Yes, darling” you responded looking at him, Namjoon was an extremely handsome man, you loved that haircut in him, and his choice of clothing today was a masterpiece, that beige suit with a purple turtle neck top was a perfect mix. He looked at you with confusion in his eyes, he quickly brushed that look a way and sais,

“My parents are here, they're asking for you” Are they? was the only thing in your mind

You walked to him with a smile taking his hand, to greet them and most of the guest that have arrived since you little rendezvous to the balcony, you were begging that nobody would notice your weight, your thighs were clearly giving a show in that dress, god I hope the concealer is strong enough to cover the sleep bags in my eyes, do I still have lipstick on?

“Y/N!” His father greeted you “You look so beautiful tonight! How is your thesis going? Are you close to the finish line?” His father always looked happy to see you, but was he?

“Mr. Kim! Thank you! And yes I'm close to the finish line, if everything goes as planned, I will be able to present it in a few weeks” You responded with a smile giving him a hug and doing the same with his mother. She always looked at you, at your hair with curiosity?  Of course 4B coils were not the norm in Korea, but Korean beauty standards weren't going to pressure you into hating your beautiful hair.

After polite talks and greetings for a whole night with people that were close to both of you, in professional and personal level, the night was over, Namjoon and you finished saying good bye to the last guest and his agent, the night was a success, as you knew it would be, Namjoon never fails to amaze you, you saw him the whole night , moving around and enchanting everyone, you get it, you too were enchanted by him.

Finally being able to get rid of the uncomfortable shoes and the red lace around your waist that made the dress even tighter and letting Namjoon in the living room talking with the service that was in charge of getting everything clean up and tidy again, walking straight to your room, dreaming of the comfort of your bed, you forgot all the things that were placed on top of it, because you didn't trust any of the frail art pieces to be in the open while everybody drank and mingle, with not other option, you moved to the balcony, walking down to the kitchen first taking a glass of wine with you and politely smiling to the service, Namjoon was out of your sight.

Sitting on the cold floor of the balcony letting your hair free from the detailed bun that it was made into, enjoying the silence and peace of the night. You felt empty, maybe too much stress plus the insecurities in your relationship were passing you the bills, in a few months you would be 30, and if you get your PhD granted, working as a full time curator in the national art museum of Seoul, just what you wanted, but was Namjoon on your side for it? you didn't know.

“Babe” He called, putting a blanket on top of you, you did not realize how cold you were until he did so “ Tired? they are almost finishing, our room is ready, lets go” 

You looked at him from the floor with your face resting on the wooden bench, giving him a little nod, but your body was not responding to the idea of standing up, maybe you were too tired, maybe it was that third glass of wine, reminding you that alcohol was not your forte.

“Too tired? “ He said lifting you up, you hugged him, getting flooded by his strong musky scent.

Before you could realize it you were already on the bedroom, headlight turn off, the only light in the room coming from the bed stands, Namjoon sat you on the edge of the bed looking at you with curious eyes, his hands on you waist, you could feel his breathing, warmth, “Can we talk in the morning?” you ask, with almost no energy to spare.

“Is everything ok?” he asked back, now with a worried look on his face.

“Yes, I am exhausted, let's talk tomorrow please” you said standing up making your way to the bathroom, trying to unzip the dress off and failing. 

“Ok” He said, hugging you from the back, there it was again his scent, it made you feel so calm, at peace.

He started to remove the dress from you, leaving you there exposed to his eyes, and to yours. You could see the reflection in the mirror, how he was hugging you even harder, tighter, Namjoon loved you, you knew that.  He started to remove his own clothes, making you move the other side of the sink to remove your makeup.

You heard the water running in the tub, namjoon got close to you naked, “Want to take a bath?” 

“No, I’ll take a quick shower and go to bed”

“Ok darling “ He said, kissing your neck. Making you move.

He flicked due to the inspected action “I'm not in the mood to have sex” You said, before he could say anything.

“Is ok, I just want to feel you…” he said with a hurt look, you took a step back using the shower as an excuse. Namjoon was even more confused, because you never rejected physical touch, so it felt as if you were rejecting him, but you weren’t, you just wanted to reject the feeling that you had for him, because it felt like you had everything to lose.

It was around 2AM when you two were in bed together, Namjoon pulled you close, and you couldn't say no, you couldn't do that to him again. Nighttime passed through your eyes seeing the sun rise that sunday morning, you weren't able to sleep just thinking about all the possibilities, weighing your options, you could finish your phd and go back to your country, even though it was useless, jobs for a art history doctor, were not easy to find everywhere, you didn't think that you would be able to continue to live in korea after breaking up with him… the thought made you sob, you couldn't stay in bed anymore, so you quietly stood up, walking to your safe place the balcony.

The living room was like it always use to be everything clean up and in its place, you saw the blanket that namjoon used on you last night perfectly folded, taking it to the balcony with you, a cup of tea to clean your mind and a lonely space for you to cry in peace, and there you were cuddling up in the chair, with the cold morning breeze it was 6AM, but you were crying, because there were no other options for you, you knew, Namjoon would not settle for you, you'll never live up to the standard needed to be his wife, so it was better to finish it now, than wait for later.

Only your cries and the mobile hanging in the side could be heard, so that was it, like that, it was going to be over.

“Y/N?!” He called, and you used all your strength to hide your tears, but of course he noticed.

“Are you ok honey? Talk to me” You could hear the worry in his voice, you really tried to pull back the tears, but seeing him did not help

And there, both of you were, him hugging you and giving you solace, until your crying stopped, and all you could feel was his heartbeat, his hand going up and down comforting you. There he was for you, and you were about to end a 4 year old relationship.

You meet namjoon 7 months into arriving in seoul, while you were doing your master your favorite professor suggested you to pursue a doctorate in Korea, she knew people, she could get you a internship in Seoul’s national museum while you studied, and of course she knew people in HanYang university, you knew she was an important woman in the area, but you sub estimated her contacts and power, and there you were a year later accepted into Hanyang university with a full scholarship and paid internship, you didn't know how, but the rumor that you were there due to nepotism spread all over your department reaching your workplace, while it was true that your professor helped you, the scholarship was won fairly due to your grades and the ingenuity of your master's thesis. It made your work and student life harder, as if the racism and colorism wasn't enough, but of course you weren't there to make friends, you were there to finish your studies and make a name for yourself. 

That just made everyone hated you more, your coworkers thought it would be great for you, a newly hire to conduct a private view of a new exposition for a VIP, at that point you did not know if it was the racism, the nepotism rumor or because they did not want to make it themselves; but at the end that's how you met namjoon, of course you knew who he was, you might not been his fan, but you knew what his impact was, the quality of his music, and the power he had. His whole presence made you nervous, but you weren't going to risk your job nor lose the professionalism. He ended up being there because the director invited him to look at the new collection that you direct boss had picked, but he wanted it to be private, he wanted to enjoy it, and that's how the both of you ended up there, sitting on the floor of the museum admiring the work behind the main art piece.

“Now I understand, why he wanted me to look at it in person” he said with a smile “it is magnific, it was worthy escaping from the studio for this”

“I know, art can free you, it's like the whole world shut down for a minute and you can breathe” you said, genuinely happy, because he was really calm and easy to talk to, so you weren't nervous anymore, it was a success.

“Indeed” he said looking at you, you felt the warm in your face because of the way he was looking at you, he stood up and helped you too “It has been a pleasure Y/N, meeting you and the collection, I think now I am supposed to take a photo” You got frozen en place, his voice was deep and raspy, it got you flustered, you came back to your senses

“Y-yes, you do, gimme a minute to look for the camera” You said moving quickly.

You took various photos of him, he looked great in every single one, Namjoon was a handsome man, and on top of that he was so humble and easy, maybe you expectatives where in the low as soon as you heard the world VIP or maybe Namjoon was just different, he made your heart move faster.

While you were tidying up he approached you with a question,

“Y/N would you like to take a photo with me?” it surprised you , but you did not have the ability to say no.

He pulled you close, you didn't know what to do, and he noticed, so he just told you to smile, you did so, but only god knows how you ended up looking in that picture. After that he said his farewell, and you could see his bodyguards getting closer than they were before.

It was such an experience it shaked your life for the next days, you could only think of him and his strong scents, it was so good, like a forest, as the freshness of the summer, Namjoon really did a number on you, you googled half of his life in those days, and started to listing to his music, it was really good, now you understood even more his fame. At the moment that you thought that you were forgetting the flustered feeling that he led on you, he posted it, he posted the photo that he took with you, you had a start sticker on your face, and his caption left you thinking about him even more,

art can free you, the whole world shut down for a minute and you can breathe

Did he post that because of you? Did he?

====================================

It was a normal thursday, you were in the subway on your way to work, thinking about the essay you had due this sunday, it was almost done, but you felt it was missing something, moonchild playing on your airpods. The day promised to be rainy, it always rained in seoul, but not in the sad depressing way it rained in London, Seoul’s rain was calm and nostalgic, sometimes it was full of rage. 

You didn't have much to do at work that day, the inauguration of the exposition was a success, you replied to the emails you had, sent some codes and updated the maintenance date of some artworks.

“Miss. Y/N, Mr. Park is asking to see you, if you could go to his office please” the voice caught you by surprise, it came from Mr. Shin, executive assistant of the museum director, the surprise was more in him coming directly to see you instead of sending you an email. Have something happened, did you mess up something…

You colleagues gave you strange and curious looks, it wasn't a normal situation, and their looks worked as a further confirmation. 

Walking through the administration hallways behind Mr. Shin, got you nervous, what could've gone wrong why are they calling you, are you fired? no, R.R.H.H would’ve called for that. Mr. Shin led you to the office door and retired, you could not bring yourself to knock at the door scared, but there was no other way of escaping it. You knocked on the door twice, until you heard a deep voice say, “Come in”

You opened the door using all your strength and calm “Good morning Mr. Park, how may I help-

You stopped on your word when you saw Namjoon sitting in the middle of the room, Mr. Park's office was big, two mauve sofas facing each other in front of the big brown desk, and Namjoon was seated in one of them looking at you with a smile.

“Hello ‘Y/N” his deep voice filling the room, “Please sit down’” he said signaling the sofa in front of him

You were frozen in your step, why was Namjoon there? you quickly got back to your senses, and greeted him sitting in front of him, you didn't know if the nervousness was visible, your hands were sweaty, while they rested on your knees.

“I know you got up here thinking you were going to see YoungJo, I am sorry for that, but I did not wanted to make a fuss, hope you understand” you nodded in comprehension, of course it was going to be worse if Kim Nam Joon came calling for you, it was already weird Mr. Park doing so.

“I'm going to be direct, would you like to work for me?” The shock was painted in your face “I want someone to curate some art pieces for my parents house, and for my house too, since our conversation last week, I feel that you would be perfect for it, we share the same art vision”

You couldn't say a word, he was waiting for your response, but since you stood there in silence he continue “Money is not the problem, nor is the time, please name your price and tell me when we can start working together”

“I-I, are you sure? wouldn't you like someone more professional for this? someone with more experience in the area” you muttered, still lacking the words.

“No” he said solemnly “I am not looking for experience or somebody with a name in this, I want you and your fresh views, I read your master thesis, and I know your working in your doctorate, as I said your vision is what I want, it amuse me”

“Can I think about it?” You said, but what was there to think.

“Of course” he said “Here look, this is my personal number, you can call me or add me to Kakao, and my agent number in case I don't respond, but it is unlikely” he handed you both of the cards, looking at your shocked face with a smile. “If someone asks, just tell them that YoungJo confused you with someone else, ok?”

You nodded, still feeling out of place, looking at his almond shaped eyes, he said goodbye and left, letting you there. You slowly stood up, and walked to your department, art acquisitions, as soon as you arrived your coworkers started whispering. You sat down keeping face, when you were about to start working, Anja, who seated next to you asked,

“Hey Y/N what was that about?” with curiosity flooding her face, you smile and said loud enough,

“It was nothing, looks like they were calling someone else and somehow they got to me” you said shrugging your shoulders, resting importance to it, with you saying that the whispering and the looks finished.

The rest of the day was normal, but you still could feel the nervousness in your gut, he read your thesis, and wanted you to help him curate art for his family house and his home, it feel surreal, to good to be truth, but if it was, the opportunity was amazing, Namjoon would become your first private client, the scholarship money was decent, and you pay wasn’t that bad, but you knew that whatever Namjoon would pay you would be enough to pay rent until you found a space in the campus dorms. You weren't sure yet, there wasn't a big reason to say no, but you felt insecure. What if your work does not live up to his expectations?

You arrived home putting those thoughts to rest, working on your assignments and studying your lectures, before you could realize it, it was already past midnight and you knew what you were going to say.

Hello Mr. Kim,

I would love to work with you, please let’s discuss terms and conditions.

Have a great day, “Y/N”

12:51 am

Looking at your phone screen maybe it was too short? but it didn't need any more it was concise, you hit sent, without realizing, that you did not programmed the text message to be sent at 9 in the morning, panicking looking at the screen, until those 3 hell looking dots started blinking,

Amazing, and yes I’ll have a great day ;)

knj

12:52 am

===========================================

And there you were the next day, in front of Namjoon’s workplace building, he asked you to come the next day to discuss the job requirements and pay, you set a 3PM meeting with him, going to the big doors of HYBE ent. you were nervous hand sweating approaching the reception, you'd feel the looks, but is not like you cared anymore, but maybe you should had hided your hair today, everyone at work was already use to it, but this was a new environment, the comfort of your usual places made you forget where you were.

“Hello good evening, I have a meeting” You say approaching one of the well groomed ladies in front of you, she looked you up and down, and say,

“Excuse you?” Your korean might not be the best, but it wasn't bad, now being here for almost 8 months it had clearly improved, you repeated yourself, and then she ‘understood’

“Ok, May I know the name of the person and their department please?” she said with a smirk in her face,

“I don't know his department, the name is Kim Nam Joon” she and the two ladies at her side looked at you like you were a rare species. 

“Are you sure of that?” She said with a shuckle, she wanted to laugh, it was clearly on her face.

“Yes I am sure, I wouldn't have come here if I wasn't” you said annoyed.

“Miss please, don't shame yourself in here, please go, or I'll be obligated to call security” the disgusted expression on her face saying everything you needed to know.

“Could you at least call him to verify?” keeping the last strand of politeness you asked.

“No. Please leave or I'll call security” she said standing up signaling the big crystal doors.

You were mad, not knowing what to do walking down to the doors, hearing his laughs and the looks of the people around, until of course your brain reacted, you were a smart girl after all,

Hello Mr. Kim I am already here

2:58 pm 

Ok, amazing please come to my studio they'll tell you the floor ;p

2:59 am

I am not being allowed, I went to the front desk and they asked me to go, should I?

3:00 pm

What? why? please dont leave, youre in the lobby right ill come to you

3:00 pm

You read the last text, still being mad but now you knew that namjoon actually wanted you there, you stood close to the door still with some of the looks in you, but they couldn't send you out, you haven't done anything and you could easily say you were going to the store. 5 minutes passed and you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket Namjoon was calling you.

“Hi Y/N? on what side are you?” his voice sounded agitated, as if he had run.

“Hello, yes, I’m close to the doors, I have a white cardigan and a brown plaid scarf” 

“I think I see you” and when he said that, you heard the commotion, there he was, his hair looking frizzy, like he had been passing his fingers through it. He had a pale green sweatshirt, a dark brown jacket and light brown trousers.

You heard the call finish, and he was getting closer to you, the people in the lobby were looking at him, and you were too but not with the same eyes. Namjoon looked so hot, he smiled at you, he was happy to see you and that calmed your heart.

“Hello Y/N, I thought you would leave” he said, extending his hand to you, you shaked hands with him.

“I almost did” you said, trying to conceal the discomfort in your voice.

“What happened, why couldn't you come in? it was just a call away” he said smiling to the people around you, you started walking with him and two bodyguards started walking at the sides.

“I explained that to the lady but she did not care to confirm that”

“Who?” the demanding tone clearly in his voice he stopped to look at you, his eyes waiting for an answer

“T-he lady with the ponytail” you mutter, namjoon’s eyes intimidate you.

“Is ok” he said, dragging you to the front desk, “Can I have a visitors pass for MY guest” he was clearly annoyed, and you were too, the face in the lady was priceless, she was between shock and disbelief, until she actually needed to talk,

“C-can I have some form of ID? " she asked, you opened your purse to take your passport, going directly to your work visa.

=========================================

Namjoon drove you to his studio, scanning his face on the door. The hallway to it was beautifully decorated with small and big art pieces, Namjoon really had a great taste, his studio was small but cozy, you could feel how he crafted every space himself, it screamed his whole personality. 

“Please sit down” he said and you did so “Before we begin I am obligated to made you sign a NDA, is just protocol” he said sitting in from of you handing you a folder

“Yes, I understand” you said, giving a quick read to the NDA, you signed because it was ok and handed it to him.

“Ok, perfect. Do you want something to drink? I’m making myself a coffee” he stood up waiting for your answer.

“Water would be fine”

“I don't like to beat around the bush Y/N, I want you to pick beautiful and meaningful pieces for me, I would do it myself” he brought a glass of water for you, while holding a cup of smoking coffee “But I am pretty busy right now and I like you, and your style. Your thesis in Seurat, was an enjoyable read, and I feel that your fresh vision would be perfect for what I want” He sat down in front of you taking a sip, you did the same, Namjoon made you nervous, his aura was intoxicating.

“I get it, still, I don't have a full experience curating, I might have the theory but I stick lack the practice” you said being honest

“I'm giving the practice to you, what about 15% for every piece you pick for me? " he said with a smile that made his dimples show up.

You smiled at him “What about 20%?” You smirked.

“25%, do we have a deal?” he put down his cup to look you directly in the eyes.

“W-we do.” you smiled at him nervously due to his gaze.

“You could've said 50% and I would have said yes. I just want you.” He said standing up, giving you his hand, his words made you lose your breath.

=======================

from delululand with love, kive &lt;3

[griancraft]

I'm struggling to word this but I'm finally ready to talk about it and I want people to listen.

I've noticed a type of racism in leftist communities I don't see talked about a lot. I am Quarter Japanese and I am visibly mixed, but a lot of leftists see "quarter" and assume that I don't have the right to an opinion on issues that effect me. The sentiment I've gotten from mostly white leftists is that I'm not "POC enough" for a lot of discussions.

There's this weird thing in a lot of leftist spaces where your appearance and percentage, not your experiences based on your race, are considered above all.

Meanwhile, in reality, all aspects of my identity are affected by my race and my family's experience with Japanese internment. An event which stripped them of any wealth they had acquired since moving to Canada over 50 years before the war.

An event that cause the intermarriage rate of Japanese-canadians and white Canadians to be over 90 percent post internment because we viewed proximity to whiteness as safety. An event which left them in severe poverty until my dad and aunt worked their asses off to get a degree. The generational trauma goes so deep my dad didn't want me transitioning because he was worried about what the government would do to me.

Because of my race I experienced negligence from authority figures related to pretty severe racially based bullying at 12. That negligence could have killed me. I've had to deal with microaggressions and straight up racism related to my last name on multiple occasions.

One time I was out with a friend and he grabbed my arm tight and dragged me to walk faster. A man wearing a white lives matter T-shirt was standing in the middle of the path looking directly at me when I turned around.

I'm pretty sure this wasn't based on me being feminine and goth that day, I live in a city with a decent amount of people in alt subculture and my friend was way more gothed up and queer than me. I was barely passing as a guy at that point so it wasn't because I was a man in a dress. I know this is a weaker point, but it made me realize just how unsafe I am in my own community even though I'm a mixed person in a heavily multicultural city.

Obviously, this isn't on the scale of someone who is less white passing than me and/or has more compounding marginalizations. However I've found that the fact I'm mixed race has been used against me to devalue my experience and knowledge regarding what it's like to be a POC in Canada.

I can assure you I am aware of how bad it is, and I am aware of how good I have it. I also want you to be aware that it's not all sunshine rainbows and bunny farts to be more white, it doesn't make the racism go away. It often just makes it more covert and easy to explain away because I'm "not really Japanese"

[harostar]

Anyway, a random thought has circled around in my brain over the last several months observing the rhetoric surrounding discussions about Israel and Palestine.

Numerous times, I've seen progressive and leftist folks talk about Israelis with some points very familiar to American nationalism and racism.

The good ol' "Go back where you came from" talk.

There's valid discussions to be had regarding expansionism and seizing homes from people. About wealthy real estate developers wanting to take advantage of the violence to build for settlers.

But the familiar echo of "Send 'em back where they came from" just.....nah.

I'm technically 1st generation on my dad's side. He was born in West Germany, my birth certificate says as much. He came to the United States as an infant. He doesn't speak German, and neither do I. I've never been out of the US, and would be totally helpless and lost if sent to the last country my family immigrated from.

So talking about sending folks that have lived in one place for generations, that may or may not have any remaining connection to other countries, is......uh. Not great.

Hits me in an uncomfortable place, both as a 1st generation and as an American that hears that shit all the time from a place of racism and xenophobia.

But coming from leftist spaces, being framed as "anti-colonialist" and righteous because of a government's actions and a geopolitical mess of nearly a century.

It makes me very, very uncomfortable. Anger at Israel's government has made it very, very easy for supposedly progressive and humanitarian people to give into their worst, most Antisemitic impulses.

The road to hell and all that.

[lettucedloophole]

i think it's easier to agree with terfism in concept, that a woman is just an Adult Human Female and this is actually liberatory rather than regressive & confining.

but in practice, in terf spaces you'll find:

cis women sexually harassing each other (some even talked about wanting to rape women, but since they weren't Male it was a-ok. certainly not as much of a biggie as a trans woman peacefully existing online, anyway.) there is also so much shaming of formerly prostituted women, rf or not, & rape/dv victims.

weird racism and nazi shit! much like the rapey people mentioned above, while some terfs wouldn't outright support racism, they'd tolerate it and follow "white supremacist feminists" or "radical feminists" making anti-semitic jokes (cough cough. radfem hitler) some terfs thought they were weird privately but there was no move to push them out of terf spaces like there was with Transfem Lesbians Existing.

this is also racism & nazi shit... when women's march changed their logo, there was a huge backlash in terf spaces about how this silhouette–

–was male, or meant to be a trans woman. of course, a lot of people were like "that's racist because some woc have that nose type." i saw two responses to that argument-- 1), it was actually the brow bone which was male, so it wasn't racist, and 2) women's march did this on purpose to make terfs look bad (and? it worked lmfao.) i was shocked at just how openly, insanely regressive this was, and it illustrated a point to me about terfs-- they will throw women under the bus who look masculine (like, any woman who could've had that silhouette) to keep the trans moral panic fueled.

more on throwing masc (cis) & other women under the bus-- i saw terfs who'd spent time in those spaces for a while began to question if muscular women in wrestling were "real women" or if they were "a man pretending to be a woman." trans women were made fun of for their "male" features, which of course, weren't male specific. they mocked vaginoplasty & dilation to get to trans women, thereby also insulting the cis women who did those things (which, they seemed to either not know about or just didn't care.) at one point, a cis tirf was talking about her experience getting harassed as trans in the bathroom and a bunch of terfs ganged up on her to call her a liar. so, believe women until it goes against your political agenda i guess? and, for that bbc article on cis lesbians feeling pressured to sleep with trans women, they literally interviewed a cis lesbian who'd been accused of rape multiple times, including in bathrooms. but trans women are the actual rapists, right?

one thing that's very sad is how woc in these spaces will see things like, nazis coming to terf events and being Allowed to stay there and plead for the movement to change, as if... anyone cares about woc here? terfs don't care about masc or non-white women considering how their rhetoric negatively impacts both.

crazy amounts of terfs claiming they just care about trans people and don't want them to hurt themselves, thennn calling trans people mutilated freaks & posting pictures without consent, even of minors, of surgery results good and bad.

and concerning the last point, this is just some contradictory things i've seen in terf spaces concerning cis women & afab people, but really the transmisogyny should be enough to stop your support of it. even if terfs managed to liberate all afab people somehow, trans women's well-being is important by itself. i just think these contradictions i've seen personally work nicely to poke holes in terf ideology.

[demonqueenart]

I left answer as a comment but I thought I’ll explain myself better to you here. This is not a defense by any means! Just my thoughts to why I think I didn’t react at all to the wad comment. I am Mexican and I went to school in Mexico and my parents and people in my generation used “third world country” denominations in their language too. I realized the inherent racism during a discussion in college, but my parents still to this day have never had someone explain it to them and some of my friends don’t even realize either.

Here it’s often used in context of criticism towards the government for example the metro in Mexico really needs better infrastructure so my friends would say something like “this wouldn’t happen in Sweden but no surprise here in the third world” (but with a lot more insults toward the gov thrown in lol), that’s why when I heard Dan use that term I immediately heard the same satire that my friends and parents use when they criticize why some things are harder here cause of the government. Not to say corruption is inherently a Latin American problem (hello last US elections) I just think the term is not extinct yet and it’s even been reused lately I seen tweets go viral using it to criticize the US like “America is a third world country with a Gucci belt on” which goes to show places like the US and the UK would not meet the “standards” either according to whoever came up with the term.

Absolutely! The more perspective, the better! I have a latam friend of mine who’ve watched that clip of him saying that, and it had made them want to cry. So, very reasonably different reactions from everyone. Although to me personally, if anyone calls me being from a 3rd world country, I would be absolutely pissed! Like, just that usage of that word itself can make me go to rage lol, because of its bad association

Auto-message: This ask’s purpose is to acknowledge dnp’s past/present exclusivity, not to cancel them! But to embrace mistakes that they’ve made so that 1. we won’t exclude people in need in this community, and 2. we can normalize bringing up exclusivity so that improvement can happen. Hopefully this will one day help dnp realize that this is a safe space for them to talk about their mistakes, so that this space can become safe for people of all kinds too <3

*If you don’t understand what is happening, scroll through my blog for context. And I’ll be taking time to answer my asks, so don’t think I’m ignoring youuu*

[epinebleue]

for him (m) | 02

after a year abroad, you think summer back home can’t get any better. then, a charming ginger boy catches your eye.

pairing: nakamoto yuta x reader (female)

genre: rich kids!au, fluff, angst, mature.

warnings: mention of low self-esteem and racism.

chapter index | previous chapter | next chapter

Every summer, Jennifer’s parents spend two weeks in France to celebrate what they call their “annual honeymoon”.

Every summer, Jennifer throws a pool party while they’re away.

You’re supposed to be at her place at 10 AM to help her prep the space, but having stayed up late the night before, the annoying sound of the alarm does little to wake you up in the morning, Oliver doing so, instead.

You step into Jen’s patio exactly two hours later. She clicks her tongue at you, as if saying: “Finally!”.

Through the dark lenses of your sunglasses, you glance at her body as she approaches. The beautiful baby blue bikini she’s wearing fits her like a glove, as if it had been tailored with her in mind.

You’re used to feeling insecure whenever you’re around Jen. You know you shouldn’t, but you do.

It’s been this way since middle school, when one day the boys in your class rated the girls’ bodies from 1 to 10 on a piece of paper. You came second to last, while Jen’s name sat comfortably in first place.

“I know, I know.” You let out a sigh, allowing Jen to give you a tight hug. “I’m sorry.”

Johnny and Sooyoung wave at you from inside the pool and you wave back, walking to where the rest of your friends are. Wendy, who was sunbathing, sits beside you under the parasol. Victoria gets out of the pool and joins the group soon after.

Once settled on the lounger, you scan the space. Ten and Lucas are sitting on the edge of the pool with sunglasses on, swinging their legs in the water, immersed in what seems an intense conversation. Sooyoung and Johnny splash around as they try to drown each other, much to Yuta’s annoyance, who finds their game an obstacle to what he really wants: swim in peace.

Nothing seems out of the ordinary, but then, the switch in your mind flips: someone’s missing.

“Hey, where’s Chris?”

There’s a moment of silence where Wendy takes a sip of her lemonade, eye-siding Jen. “They argued yesterday.”

Your brunette friend looks away, missing your surprised expression. “Again?”

Chris’ parents are family friends, so you’ve known him for as far as you can remember. However, you had never interacted much until he became Jennifer’s first serious boyfriend.

Being an only child, Chris is expected to inherit his family’s wealth and business. If he’s famous for something, though, that’s his looks. You must admit he’s drop dead gorgeous. Of course, Jen wouldn’t settle for less.

Soon after they started dating, you realized that having a handsome partner had its drawbacks. Jennifer would whine in your group chat every week about how hard it was to stand girls checking him out, how some would go as far as to sneak papers with their phone numbers when she wasn’t looking.

Even if Chris politely rejected their approaches every time, Jennifer started to gradually get sick of the whole situation until, one day, it exploded.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“He’s a Greek statue come to life, Jen, of course he will be hit on!” Wendy says. “You’ve got to learn to cope.”

Jen rolls her eyes at Wendy’s words, a sign she’s getting angry.

“On what side are you on, exactly?”

“We aren’t picking sides.” You try to mediate, making a gesture to your blonde friend, asking for her sun cream. Having prepared your bag in a rush, you must’ve left yours at home. “I know it’s hard to watch people flirt with him all the time. But Wendy has a point, too. Being good-looking isn’t his fault, you know?”

You end your statement with a glance in Victoria’s direction, but the girl doesn’t say a word. She’s the type to not participate in debates like this.

“Exactly!” Wendy agrees, pointing at you. “Besides, he always rejects those advances. He would never hurt your feelings on purpose, Jen. He’s literally the sweetest boy I’ve ever met.”

“Talking about me, I see.”

You turn around to find Yuta standing behind you, soaked from head to toe. A water drop on the tip of his hair falls on his shoulder and you follow it as it slides down his chest and reaches his happy trail.

You fan yourself. Good thing it’s hot today. Otherwise, what would you blame the fire in your belly on? 

Jen chuckles as Yuta sits next to her, seeking protection from the aggressive sun. “Humble as always.”

“I thought I was the nicest boy you’ve ever met.” He shoves her with his shoulder, smiling. You’ve got the urge to look away. The fire in your belly is quickly replaced by an unsettling feeling you’re familiar with.

“After Chris.” Victoria finally speaks. “If that makes you feel better.”

“Not really, but I’ll get over it.” Yuta shrugs. “How come you’re still dry? It’s a pool party, ladies, come on!”

All your friends stand up, encouraged by his words and the terrible heat, and start walking to the pool. Except you. When Yuta notices, he gestures to you to join them.

“I’m not done.” You say, shaking the suncream bottle in the air.

“I’ll wait for you, then.”

“It’s fine.” He sits exactly where he was a few seconds ago. “Just go with the others.”

“Some more time in the shade never hurts.”

“So that’s why you’re here.” You find it hard to hide the disappointment in your tone. “You’ve fooled me. I thought you were a gentleman.”

Yuta leans back, his abs flexing as he speaks. He’s got such a tiny waist, adorned by a tattoo of a butterfly. You wonder if it carries any meaning.

“Oh, but I am.”

“I don’t believe it.” You finish extending the cream on your left arm. “You’ve hung around Ten for too long.”

“Other people’s personalities don’t change mine. I’m not Lucas.”

“Hey, don’t be mean to him.” You’re aware of the bad reputation that precedes Lucas. A drunk heart-to-heart conversation that happened before you went abroad helped you realize Lucas uses his behavior as a mask to hide his numerous insecurities. In a way, you can relate to that. Besides, being the youngest of five successful siblings makes him subject to his parents’ expectations, which tend to be unrealistic. And his brothers, far from supportive, are entitled assholes, straight-up bullies. No wonder he feels he has to act all tough to be taken seriously. “He’s a good kid.”

“Sorry, are we talking about the same person?” You’re about to defend Lucas again, but upon watching you struggle to apply the cream on your back, Yuta interrupts you before you can talk. “Do you need a hand?”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t think I’ll get sunburnt there, anyway.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Yuta grabs the bottle and sits right behind you, deaf to your words. At his insistence, you reach for your hair with trembling hands. Before you can even move it aside, he does so, his fingers brushing your back in the process.

You hold your breath at the sound of the cream coming out of the bottle. And then, his hands are on you.

You think your heart will jump out of your mouth and start running around the patio.

His warm palms delicately rub the cream into your skin, and you hope he doesn’t notice the goosebumps that bloom when he reaches the small of your back.

God, you’re so touch-starved it’s embarrassing.

You wonder if you’re tripping when Yuta takes a little longer to massage your shoulders. Trying to focus on anything else, your eyes land on Jen, who has joined Lucas and Ten by the edge of the pool. The bikini lets her flat stomach on display. Unconsciously, you suck in yours. She places her hair behind her shoulders as she laughs at something that Ten says.

Even her laugh sounds beautiful, everything about her is!

That must be why Yuta likes her so much.

You stand up, getting as far away from his hands as possible.

“I think that will do.” You say, eyes fixed on the floor, aware of how much you’ve just embarrassed yourself. “Thank you.”

“Sure thing.” His tone remains normal, but if you had looked at him, you would’ve seen him frown at the sudden mood change. Yuta leaves the bottle on the chair and follows you to the pool.

“About time you stopped playing handsies back there.”

You simply lift your middle finger at Ten, quickly making your way towards the staircase, hoping the water will hide your body from the rest.

It’s close to midnight and you’re on the verge of begging your parents to leave.

You’re celebrating the promotion of someone you don’t even know; drinking alcohol-free champagne, which you don’t even like that much; and bored Robinson Crusoe level.

Oliver and Noa left the moment they found their friends. Oli had invited you to join them, but you kindly refused, knowing that you would feel like a babysitter around his friends.

So, here you are, glued to your parents’ side, forced to listen to important conversations with important people, interested in neither.

Why have you been forced to come if your presence isn’t even going to be acknowledged? Your dad said it would be rude not to attend after a year abroad. What you understood was that they wanted to show you off, and the party seemed to be the perfect occasion.

You gulp the remains of your drink and leave the empty glass on the nearer table. You open your mouth, about to ask when you will be heading out when your dad’s name comes from the crowd.

“Jonathan!” He exclaims in surprise, shaking the hand of the man that appears in front of him. “Natalie! I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Well, we didn’t know you were coming!” Natalie, or what you call her out of respect, Mrs. Fulger, kisses your mother’s cheeks before addressing you. “You’re back from your trip! How was it, darling?”

You deliver a polite smile to the Fulgers, saying how the trip was “absolutely fantastic” and “a truly enriching experience.”

“You must be proud of her.” Mr. Fulger tells your parents, placing his big hand on his son’s shoulder. “Chris will take a gap year after graduating. One last taste of freedom before joining the company.”

The Fulger marriage laughs and your parents join them, and in less than a minute you’re back to being ignored, business taking over the conversation. You awkwardly stand beside your mom until you decide it’s enough.

“I’ll get something to drink.” You excuse yourself. “I’ll be back.”

“Chris will be enchanted to go with you.”

His father pushes him forward slightly. Chris gives you his signature charming smile before saying: “Of course.”

You make your way towards the bar immersed in an awkward silence. Of all people, you had to bump into him.

“Are you liking this party so far?” 

“I’m bored to death.”

“Me too.” You tap the bar counter with your long nails, laughing at his honest answer. “How’s life going?”

“Good, it’s good.” He looks around, playing with the glass he’s holding. “I’m in the training process to start working in my father’s company. He wants me to get familiar with the business and its processes before stepping in.”

There’s nothing worse than inheriting a position in a family business, but that’s just your opinion.

“You must be excited.”

“I am, yeah.” Chris nods, taking a sip of his drink. Even if you’re both trying hard to ignore the elephant in the room, Chris gives in first. “Have you talked to Jennifer, by the way?”

“She’s my best friend, Chris.”

He gives you a half-smile, only realizing now how stupid his question must’ve sounded.

“She won’t return my calls or my texts. She has blocked me on every social media, she doesn’t even want to see me! I don’t know where we stand right now.”

You’re not sure of what to answer, afraid you may say the wrong thing. One thing you know, though, is that even if you’ll always be loyal to Jen, you must admit she’s handling this whole thing terribly wrong.

“I’m sure it sucks.”

Chris genuinely laughs for the first time tonight.

“Yeah, a little.” You laugh at his irony-filled tone, too, and the atmosphere feels much lighter now. “Relationships are so fucking complicated. Don’t ever get into one.”

“I’ll be fine.” You say, taking a sip of the drink the waiter has just served you. “It’s not like there’s a long line of men dying to date me.”

“Now, that’s surprising.” 

Much to your delight, he’s too invested in his problem to notice how the blood has rushed to your cheeks.

A certain someone comes to your mind and with him a question you’re dying to ask.

“Please, don’t take this the wrong way.” Chris straightens his back, shoving a hand into the pocket of his suit pants, nodding. “Have you and Jen argued due to a… third person?”

It’s just like when people yell at a character to not go into the room where the killer awaits. But it’s just you in the cinema, screaming at yourself to stop talking.

“Of course not! What the fuck?” Chris’ blue eyes open wide in shock as he reaches for his phone. “Did she tell you that? Does she think I’m cheating?”

“No, Chris.” You place a hand on his arm in an attempt to stop him from texting Jen, who will murder you if she finds out you have planted a new suspicion in Chris’ mind. “God, I’m so stupid, I’m sorry. It was just a question! I swear-”

“Hey.”

You aren’t sure if you should celebrate or bury a hole in the floor and hide when Yuta appears out of thin air, his eyes falling on Chris’ arm, where your hand is. You quickly move it away, which is exactly what is needed to make everything look suspicious.

“Hi.” Chris greets, not interested in Yuta’s presence at all. His head is elsewhere now that you’ve completely fucked up. “I’m leaving, I need to call her.”

Chris disappears in the crowd before you have the chance to say goodbye, leaving you behind with Yuta, who raises an eyebrow at you.

“Um, what was that?”

Whatever he’s insinuating offends you terribly. Do you look like the type to steal your best friends’ guys?

“That was nothing.” You snap. “He’s Jen’s boyfriend.”

“Ex-boyfriend.”

“It’s a rough patch, they’ll end up getting back together.”

“Hopefully, they won't.” Your heart drops at his remark, but Yuta’s too busy looking in the direction Chris has disappeared, resting an elbow on the bar. “I hate that guy.”

Chris has always seemed kind and very down to earth. You wonder what could he have possibly done to gain Yuta’s resentment. To that question, you’ve got a theory. And you’d hate being right.

“I think he’s nice.”

“Oh, you think he’s nice?” Yuta snorts at your words. “You don’t know him that well at all, then.”

Yuta glances around the room, which allows you to scan him for a while. He looks really handsome in a suit. He reminds you of those vintage Hollywood stars.

“Why do you hate Chris? Is it because you like Jennifer?”

The question shocks you both. Again, you’re alone in the cinema begging yourself to just shut the fuck up.

“What?” He lets out a laugh of disbelief. “What does Jen have to do with anything?”

“I don’t know...”

“Oh, you do know. What have you seen that made you think that?”

Congratulations! You’ve just dug your own grave.

“Nothing in particular.” You answer, shrugging. “You seem to get along really well, now you hate her boyfriend...”

“First of all, I don’t like Chris because he’s a racist piece of shit. And I get along really well with Johnny, too. Do you think I want to fuck him, too?”

You can feel the color draining from your face.

“I don’t know what you like.”

If there’s something you’ve learned about Yuta, it’s that he’s the straightforward type. He’s unbothered and an expert when it comes to turning around the conversation to make it beneficial for him. He’s something like a mastermind, you’d say.

“Do you like me?”

“What?!” You shriek, trying to hide your shaky voice with a laugh. “Absolutely not.”

“Why then would you ask me about Jen?” Yuta presses, tilting his head to the side. “Are you jealous?”

“I’m not! I was just curious!”

“You’re full of shit.” You’d be lying if you said you don’t find his smirk insanely attractive. “Just so you know, I wouldn’t mind. I would be very glad, actually.”

It’s at this point that your head starts spinning.

You see, you have never been confident. Out of the friend group, you’ve always been the shiest one. You don’t smile in pictures because you think your smile is ugly, and you don’t wear tight clothes because you hate your body.

You have had a single relationship in your life, at sixteen, and it crushed your self-esteem even further. A promise to yourself was made after that: no one would put you through that hell again.

Is that what Yuta is playing at? Making you believe he likes you just to laugh in your face once you take the bait?

He had seemed genuine when he defended you the night you met. Had it just been to give a good first impression?

You hold your purse tight, hold your head high.

“I hope the rest of your night goes well, Yuta.”

And you walk away with your dignity intact.

No reposting or translations allowed.

© epinebleue 2023

[rainbowonice]

I'm barely hanging by a thread with this show.

The amount of PR that Oliver has done about Bucks storyline and Buddie has been overkill. To the point, where of Buddie doesn't happen after talking about it so much that headlines and clickbait have been created, they're going to look like they've just been shipbaiting to pull in the viewers!

Tommy and the homophobe/transphobe need to go. Lou's weird "thriving" video gives me the impression they're deffo not thriving! And the other one needs to go for obvious fucking reasons!

The whole Bi storyline would've been better coming from Eddie. They could've had Buck single and Eddie discovering himself like it was originally going to be. It would've been so much more interesting to watch!

But I do think the fact that the season only has 10 episodes has put a damper on things, too!

oh i agree with everything!!! it's definitely giving shipbait (for now) i feel like Oliver is saying unhinged Buddie stuff because, in his prospective, they can't really call him out for queerbaiting anymore, since Buck is canon bi now. But I really hope I'm wrong and that he actually knows that Buddie is endgame or something!

I'm still conflicted about Lou video to be honest, I'd rather if he wasn't there at all lmao but if he's there just to make things awkward and they are really NOT thriving then i Could be ok with it. for the Edy situation... idk how she even got in s7 to begin with, i know it's because Natalia actress wasn't available and Tim didn't want both of them to start off as single but they could have just went with a replacement and no one would have noticed 💀 big hope is that she will be bones before the season finale tho! No one likes her and the foreshadowing about them breaking up has been crazy (never date someone you met on a call, bobby convo etc)

Anon you have no idea I've been terrorizing my bestie about EddieTommy for WEEKS i still wouldn't like Tommy as a character but it would have made so much more sense and it would have been way more groundbreaking than BuckTommy! if episode 100 have zero haters I'm dead I REALLY HATE the whole execution and how they switched characters and keep making Buck and Eddie interchangeable cuz that will never be right and it will never sit well with me for various reasons (racism is the racism). And I've been wanting Buck to be single for the longest time let the man be alone and get to know himself for the love of God!

This season worst problem is that they are writing it as they go and they are really rushing things and you can really tell that they have no idea where the plot is going and the season being only 10 episodes make it so much worse :( hope season 8 will save us from this hell but if the last 5 episodes of the season don't get any better idk if i will survive to watch season 8 they are really making it hard for me and I've been watching the show since 2019!

Also i want to thank you for sending me your thoughts! I got so excited when i saw an ask in my inbox 🥰 this is a safe space for hating! I'm a yapper and a hater!!

[karenandhenwillson]

Fandom and Ships

In the last couple of weeks, we have seen the number of fics in the Bucktommy tag skyrocket. Which is pretty exciting and amazing and a clear sign of how very excited the fandom is about this development. But of course there is also backlash, mostly from people who suddenly see their preferred ship in danger. (Honestly, when has a canon ship ever stopped fandom from shipping the people involved with other people instead?)

It's expected that some Buddie fans are disappointed. It's also expected that they would lash out (though, I had hoped people could for once remember there are adults and just because everyone is anonymous in online spaces doesn't mean there aren't people sitting behind those keyboards getting hurt by baseless accusation of racism and other things). I should probably not be surprised they are now also using the low engagement we have always seen with Henren as a weapon.

So, let's talk about fandom and ships.

There is no question that there has since season 2 always been the most engagement with Buddie content in this fandom as a whole. People saw the chemistry between Buck and Eddie and ran with it. Compared to that, the canon couples have all barely any content.

But if you look at any fandom at any point in time, there is a clear pattern between canon and fanon ships. There are only very few select fandoms where canon couples ever got a lot of engagement. Of the various fandoms I've been part of, I can only think of one at the top of my head.

I think the reasons are pretty simple. 

First of all, the fans get that couple on their screen pretty regularly. They don't have to wish and hope for it, don't have to search for the little details that will validate their headcanon. They don't have to go into fandom spaces to find content for that ship. They can just lean back without any kind of effort and enjoy this ship right on their screen.

And then second, those who do create fan content for those canon ships have to balance a very fine line. What of the canon facts will they dare to contradict to create their own content in fanfiction? (Fanart, videos, gif-sets are probably a little easier there.) Where and when do they deviate from canon? Is there even anything they feel is missing from canon that they want to see in fan work? Do they want to risk contradicting anything that will be established in canon later on? Usually, this conundrum leads mostly to short fics about missing scenes, but nothing truly epic. At least not as long as the there is new source material fairly regularly.

People creating content for purely fanon ships don't need to bother with most of those questions. Because they are deviating from canon anyway. It doesn't matter much then how far they go with that. Everything canon that comes later will just be dismissed with a shrug. Everything canon that happened previously and they don't like can be dismissed just as easily because they are already dismissing parts of it.

Then there is a clear divide between hetero, maleslash and femslash content, no matter if canon or fanon. There are probably people much better suited to get into the gritty little details about that. I'll just share some thoughts I have about any of those ships in this fandom because of my experience as a fanfiction author.

I've always been writing and telling stories. And I started writing fanfiction pretty early on, too, because I found a lot of freedom there in the content and relationships I could explore. Looking back, I've always mostly written maleslash. But I've also always had hetero and femslash pairs in my works. Have had works that focus solely on those pairs.

I know as a teenager I wrote mostly maleslash because I just got a lot of engagement for that. And back then that was a great motivator to publish my fanfiction. It's not my motivation to publish now anymore and it's never been my motivation to write at all. So there are some stories about hetero or femslash couples on my hard drive that I just never published back then.

For 9-1-1, I've been writing many of the ships there are. More than once I focused on characters who don't get much attention otherwise, not even in canon. I have some femslash stories published, most of them Henren. They don't get many klicks. And the comments I get are from friends I actively talk to very often who just read about anything I publish. Or from some very dedicated readers who I seem to have enamored enough with my writing that they'll follow me into pretty much any rabbit hole, I think.

I like Buck and Eddie a lot as characters. I adore Christopher. So, I enjoy creating for them a lot. But I also enjoy creating for the other characters and I'm scratching that itch regularly. But no matter the reason for why I write (because the stories are just in my head and the only way to get them out is to write them down), sharing what I create is more fun when I'm finding engagement over it. So, there are stories that are outlined or even fully written who I'll maybe never publish.

Where were all those Buddie fans in the past who now complain about the missing content for Henren? Where was their support for those who have written Henren all along only to be practically talking into a void? (Right, just as it was never about queer representation for some people, it was never about Henren either. No matter what they say now. They are just searching for the next thing the mob might be latch onto so they can pretend they are right.)

[0l-unreliable]

Feel free to be as long-winded or short as you want with this; but can you explain Homestuck to me? I've tried many times to get into it, but it confuses me and I just want it in layman's terms please 🙏

So in the most boiled down, simplified, BASIC terms: Homestuck is a coming of age, saving the world story that gets interrupted by the narrative, the creator (Hussie self inserts so much he's basically a main side character that the characters can and do reference), timeline bullshit, and the introduction and subsequent abandonment of new plots/characters. Though it's technically a comic, the text alone could fill probably 3-5 novels. I'd also like to say I ONLY read the original comic and I only read it 2 1/2 times in the past 10 years

Ok that stuff out of the way here's as fatless as I can serve: John and co. (Dave, rose and jade) Decide to play a game called 'sburb', unknowingly triggering both the beginning of their adventure and the end of their world, while they navigate getting into the game (like, physically, since their planet is being pelted by meteors) we're introduced to some weird fuckin grey dudes (the trolls, unplanned and frankly maybe unwanted at the point by me at least) we find out they went through this same 'game-that-ends-the-world' scenario but with 12 different kids instead of four, which made the whole thing more complicated and dramatic (and here we're also introduced to the blood caste system aka the fantasy racism system, there are 11-12 different blood colors with candy red being the rarest and the lowest/worst). They make it into the game and are left to wait while they figure shit out and this is when they start communicating with John and co, since they're technically not in the same timeline as the humans they can jump around and pick any point to talk to them (ex: a troll can click a button and talk to a version of John already in the game then five seconds later click another button and talk to a John that has never even heard of the game). Unfortunately this is when the timeline/doomed reality shenanigans start. I will not be untangling all that, sorry. They figure out that they (the trolls +John and co) have to make a NEW universe out of a special frog and make plans to all meet. Dave and Rose have already managed to get to the same place the trolls are (a random meteor) but John and Jade still must travel to get to them, which will take 3-4 years (this was probably because at this point everyone has been 13 for the past 3 real human years and hussie wanted a time skip). I cannot stress the weight of the next statement enough: some bullshit happens. You meet 12 NEW trolls that are basically the ancestors to the trolls we know and love/hate. To me they don't super have a point, but this is also where we learn that every person who died and every version from a 'doomed timeline' who died is in fact alive as ghost in bubbles of space-time and can interact both with other dead versions of themselves and the alive versions of themselves when they pass through. Like I said. Some bullshit happens. Then..oh and then...we get shot both into the future, the past, and an alternative timeline. This time, it's with the ancestors/guardians of John and co. This is were Dirk and Jake are. (And Roxy and Jane ofc) At this point I believe hussie has majorly checked out. This new group of humans (the 'Alphas', named after their timeline) don't get much in terms of story compared to the others, but what we do see it that while Jake and Jane live in the good ol' current time of 2016, Dirk and Roxy live far far FAR into the future. A future where a tyrannical troll has conquered Earth and flooded it in an attempt to expand her watery empire. They are the last two people alive, made from the genetic remains of their timelines Dave and Rose. Their only hope of survival is the game, luckily they get in, unluckily Hussie has Checked Out. They are in a dead game and must wait to either be attacked by the big bad (of which there are at least three I'm sorry but mentioning their whole deal is....daunting. remember this is all still simple) and/or be pulled to the OG group of trolls and humans. Eventually everyone gathers up, Hussie retcons some shit through John, they fight all bazillion big bads at once and BAM. make a new universe in which all TWENTY of them are gods. The end.

This is as simple as I can make it based on how I understood it/what I remember. It's not called the worlds longest webcomic for nothing. If you made it this far and still think you may want to try again to read but don't want to spend a large chunk of your life reading a textual nightmare, there are videos on YouTube that read it for you that have gotten pretty far, I have left A LOT out.

HS is a super confusing, badly written, reference heavy peice of work. I think ultimately it's about how YOU interpret things and where you stop reading. It seems random, and it is, but Hussie manages to round most things out, there's a lot of characters that explain a lot of things very often. Sometimes you don't know What The Hell is Happening until 5 acts and 3 intermissions later. That's fine.

Thanks for letting me yap. Feel free to ask about more anytime either in dms or through asks.

[the-letterbox-archives]

School Rules (Episode 3: Freedom of the Press)

this episode is a letterbox archives original – do not steal, plagiarise, or repost this to other websites. trigger warnings below. author notes at the end.

this episode of school rules contains: insults, intrapersonal tension, threats of violence (comedically) allusion to: homophobia and racism, sleep deprivation, academic inferiority

Greetings, fellow students! You’re listening to School Rules Radio, courtesy of Spencer’s Private School for Enterprising Girls. We’ve got the news, we’ve got the gossip, we’ve got all you could possibly want and more – anything to keep you listening!

I’m your newshawk and host, Sunny, I’ve got the stories so horrible they’ll fill your guts with lead! Stories that are a hundred times better than anything you’d read in the Spencer Daily.

Yep, we’re talking about this. Get ready, listeners! This broadcast might go overtime. What can I say? I need all the time given to me, and more, to trash Johnnie Rhodes and her awful department. I use the word department very lightly, because the school wouldn’t let me call it a garbage heap – which it rightfully is!

Now, those uneducated few may wonder why I have so many issues with the student paper. It’s just a newspaper, what’s the worst they can do? Honestly, how haven’t they faded into obscurity, given the accessibility of the far superior radio?

Firstly, I’d like to tell you, dear uninformed listener, that you have missed out on an incredible story, and for that I am truly sorry. Luckily, we’ve got a lot of time on our hands, so I’ll tell you the entire tale of myself, Rhodes, and the student paper!

Or I would, if that ban wasn’t still active! I know, I know, very petty of me to bring it up at all if I’m contractually obliged not to talk about it! But I have to generate engagement somehow, and since the dux was just announced, not much has happened in terms of the competition. Never fear, listeners! When the news occurs, I’ll be the first to know about it, and I’ll deliver it right to you! In a much better way than the paper, might I add.

And while there is supposed to be a ‘no shop talk’ policy, all rules are begging to be broken, wouldn’t you agree? God knows Rhodes just loves talking about me, that much I know. Whether or not she keeps it off the air doesn’t really matter. It’s about status. When you have to claw your way to the top, it’s more than alright to use your status to climb higher, even to the detriment of others. The administration doesn’t mind if it’s for power. Labor omnia vincit is what they say, but ‘work’ is just a safer word for ‘power.’ And who wants to live without power? Especially here!

Now, where was I… ah, right! The Spencer Daily. Let’s not waste another second–

(knock!)

In the middle of the show? Ah, apologies, listeners, it would be rude if I didn’t get that. Hello?

[JOHNNIE]

Finch.

[SUNNY]

Oh, son of a–

[JOHNNIE]

Hope I didn’t catch you while you’re busy.

[SUNNY]

Oh, yes, keep up the sarcasm, Rhodes, it never gets old. Now, if you could–

(shuffling, pushing)

[JOHNNIE]

I’m not leaving that easy.

[SUNNY]

Of course you aren’t. What’s troubling your uneducated little mind, Rhodes? If you– don’t touch that!

[JOHNNIE]

You’re calling me uneducated? Look at you. What are you even doing here?

[SUNNY]

Excuse you, I–

[JOHNNIE]

Your room is a mess. They say that one’s living space is reflective of her mind.

[SUNNY]

So? I know where everything is, and it’s my dorm, so it’s frankly embarrassing that it concerns you.

[JOHNNIE]

It goes to show who you really are, that’s all. I find it quite sad, actually. And instead of using your time to go to something valuable, like cleaning this hovel, you’re here… producing an episode solely dedicated to insulting my newspaper? When the dux competition has just begun?

[SUNNY]

If by ‘just begun,’ you mean ‘last week,’ then yes. And it isn’t my fault we’re off to a slow start, that’s just showbusiness. Though, if the paper had been released when the shortlist was ready, then you might not be in this situation, Rhodes.

[JOHNNIE]

Every form of media has its flaws. But at least the Spencer Daily is run by noble, dutiful, promising students. Girls with futures. We get the truth out, and, sure – it can be slower than your fancy radio station – but just look around. What’s the cost of media you can only pretend is superior?

[SUNNY]

There is no cost. The freshmans idolise me, the sophomores love me, the juniors want to be me, and the seniors can’t live without me! Isn’t that right, listeners?

I don’t play pretend, I get an audience.

[JOHNNIE]

Whatever you say, Finch.

Oh, right. I almost forgot you were… what’s the phrase, ‘on the air?’

[SUNNY]

How astute! Yes, Rhodes, we’re live! Ah, that means everything you say will be heard by everyone who listens to my show, which is… let me remember… everyone!

[JOHNNIE]

Ugh, do you ever get tired of bragging?

[SUNNY]

Nope! Now, why don’t you take a seat?

(rustling)

Okay, sorry for the incredibly rude interruption, listeners! But now that we’re back on track, I think we can take this as an opportunity instead of a terrible slight on my character and workplace! Why, on any other day, I might be inclined to take more drastic measures to make sure I’m not interrupted by disrespectful philistines during my broadcasts again!

[JOHNNIE]

… Excuse you?

[SUNNY]

Don’t worry, Rhodes, it’s only jokes. I’m not legally allowed to be serious here, but the Headmaster’s taken a liking to me, so I can get away with some more screwy content.

[JOHNNIE]

Now, why don’t I believe that?

[SUNNY]

Aw, don’t tell me you don’t believe someone as cute as me isn’t beloved by the administration!

[JOHNNIE]

Ugh. Save it for your girlfriend.

[SUNNY]

I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re talking about.

Ahem! Come to think of it, this could be a blessing in disguise! Not because of you, Rhodes, but it’s given me the idea to interview all the students shortlisted for the dux!

[JOHNNIE]

A shortlist you didn’t make.

[SUNNY]

An incredibly short shortlist. Besides, the winner is on the list already, and I couldn’t be happier about that! My notoriety lies here, not in some cash prize.

[JOHNNIE]

Cash, acceptance into any university of the winner’s choice, and immortalisation in this prestigious school’s history, among other rewards. Everyone wants that, Finch, to say you don’t isn’t only naive, it’s completely incorrect.

[SUNNY]

Don’t act like being remembered here is a good thing. History isn’t something you should try to impress, Rhodes.

[JOHNNIE]

You know what kind of person says things like that?

Someone who knows she won’t be remembered anywhere, no matter what she does.

[SUNNY]

Ha, how funny! You’ve got better jokes than me! At this rate, if you put that skill to good use, maybe you could make something of yourself!

So. Funny.

[JOHNNIE]

You don’t–

[SUNNY]

–Anyway! I don’t have any questions prepared, but let’s begin with the basics, shall we? Why don’t you introduce yourself to the audience? And make sure to smile, if you know how!

[JOHNNIE]

I know how to smile.

[SUNNY]

Really? You really don’t act like it.

[JOHNNIE]

You little– fine. Hello, everyone. My name is Johnnie Rhodes, I’m a senior here alongside Finch, and I run the Spencer Daily. My best subjects are English Language Arts and Art, so if any younger students need mentorship within those subjects, I’m the one to go to.

[SUNNY]

How weird! I thought Angel ranked highest in the last Language Arts test.

[JOHNNIE]

That is weird. Speaking of, what classes are you at the top of?

[SUNNY]

… So, how do you feel about being shortlisted? You do have feelings, don’t you?

[JOHNNIE]

As a matter of fact, I do. And I would say that I’m beyond honoured to be considered for the shortlist. Only nine of us got selected, out of one hundred students, and I believe that is something to be deeply proud of.

I suspect the selection process has been underway for a while. There are simply some students that were always meant to be above the rest, by virtue of their efforts and innate talents. But all the contenders have their issues. Except me, of course.

[SUNNY]

Do tell.

[JOHNNIE]

Are you asking me to insult the competition where they can easily access my words?

[SUNNY]

You suggested it.

[JOHNNIE]

… Fine then, I don’t see why not. I’m not threatened by any of their presences either way.

I’ll start with Viola. Although there’s not much to say about her, she’s very quiet. Her art is fine, but let’s be honest, she can’t compete with my grades. And that shyness of hers, well, that isn’t a quality of a winner. She can hardly speak in class, let alone act outside her comfort zone to get the upper hand.

Sasha is incredibly… unique. But I suppose there’s really no way to fit in when you’re like her. Through personality and name. The administration judges our worth out of many factors, and well, there’s one thing that I fear disqualifies her from serious consideration.

Eloise, if I’m being honest, I don’t know much about her. She doesn’t seem to have a grasp of polite society. I’d call her standoffish at the best of times. That’s not the kind of person to be a winner. Average in academia, and poor in social conduct, you understand.

Katherine, I mean, don’t make me laugh. Has she ever gotten better than 60 on a test? She’s almost as bad as you! And let’s be honest, sports and looks only get people so far, and the dux isn’t in the cards for her. 

And Marion? I know why you’d never talk about her on this show, she’d snap you like a twig. Nobody can trust a girl with ambition that violent. How many times has the school board been at her neck, anyway? She might have skill, I have to assume she’s smart enough to be considered, but she won’t last.

I don’t have much to say about Imogen. She got here on a scholarship, and she hasn’t adjusted to our way of life. That’s what happens when you come from the gutter. Charity cases, you’re familiar.

I’m almost embarrassed to say that Angel Salvatore may have a shot against me, at least early on. I’ll win in the end, I know that, but her feverish pursuit to always be the best, no matter what, well, a bit of spirit is useful for everyone, but some people can’t handle always being number one. Angel will crash eventually, and when she does, I’ll take the top spot.

And, well, what’s there to say about Darcy Spencer? She got nominated because of her family. Smart enough, I digress, but I fear her determination. Complacency is all too common in legacy nominations. So when the rush of getting on the shortlist wears off… Well, we’ve all heard the story about the tortoise and the hare. She just doesn’t have what it takes like the rest of us. Not including you, of course. There’s the nominees, the rest of the school, then you, in terms of academic capability.

Are you still listening?

[SUNNY]

Hm? Sure I am. Just feel bad for the listeners that have to sit through your nothing rambling.

Don’t worry though! Entertainment is tricky business.

[JOHNNIE]

If you insist that’s the problem here.

[SUNNY]

… What else would it be?

(snap)

Ah, what the–

[JOHNNIE]

You can barely keep your eyes open, let alone pay attention. Honestly, it’s pathetic. How does the administration let you of all people have so much responsibility here?

[SUNNY]

Through my talent and charm, obviously.

(sigh)

Alright, listeners, give me a moment…

[JOHNNIE]

Can’t think of what to say? Is your brain shutting down already?

[SUNNY]

Nope, no, just… looking for my notebook.

[JOHNNIE]

How strange, I remember telling you how disorganised this place is.

[SUNNY]

Well, you see, that’s by design. Nobody can find contraband in the mess. Blood, bodies, what have you.

[JOHNNIE]

Was… was that a joke?

[SUNNY]

I guess you’ll have to use that educated brain of yours to figure it out!

Here we are! Okay listeners, it says here seniors are highly encouraged to go above and beyond to succeed, especially with the dux shortlist announced. Remember, everyone has an equal shot for the prize, even if you didn’t make the list! By any means necessary, don’t forget that. There’s a depressing amount of tests coming up, so make sure to use every opportunity to crush the competition!

And thanks to all that academic pressure, extracurriculars are on the decline. Sports, art, performances, we’re taking a little break from all that. Though, sports will be off for a while, on account of the multiple arson-fuelled protests on the running track and football field. But hey, who can blame them?

That’s all the announcements, and would you look at that! It’s 8 PM already! The schedule was a bit off tonight – I’ll be the first to admit that – but at least we got there in the end!

[JOHNNIE]

Is that all? I wouldn’t really call that an interview.

[SUNNY]

Maybe it would’ve been more entertaining if you stopped wasting your breath antagonising me. Besides, I thought you didn’t care about the radio.

[JOHNNIE]

I don’t! I find it poorly formatted, that’s all.

[SUNNY]

But it is 8 PM, Rhodes; that means the show’s over for tonight! I can say on behalf of my audience that it was awful having you here! If you ever feel the need to pass through here again – don’t. Your opinion doesn’t make good radio.

[JOHNNIE]

Whatever makes you feel better.

(rustling)

If you ever do decide to do something productive, like quit this show or finally sleep, make sure to keep it away from the paper, am I clear?

[SUNNY]

Crystal.

[JOHNNIE]

Lovely.

[SUNNY]

…

Okay, listeners, now that that’s sorted, let me remind you one more time; this is School Rules Radio, your one-stop-shop for all the news you need to stay complacent! Thanks for listening, and I’ll see you next week!

finally someone's here to put sunny in her place. though, that would be more appealing if said person wasn't the worst. oh well, you win some, you lose more. hope you enjoyed!

tag list for school rules:

@wyked-ao3, @48lexr, @thecrazyalchemist, @moltenwrites, @yourpenpaldee,

@glassfrogforest, @the-golden-comet, @ominous-feychild, @gioiaalbanoart, @drchenquill,

@paeliae-occasionally, @tc-doherty, @corinneglass, @thecomfywriter, @mysticstarlightduck,

@thelovelymachinery, @kind-lion

(@cafekitsune border)

[will80sbyers]

When I say it's probable that everybody is getting Vecna'd next season I mean that what I imagine is that they are getting tormented with visions when Vecna attacks their minds not that they are all floating in the air and being killed

I think he will try to kill them by weakening their minds like making Dustin see Eddie again, Lucas watch Erica dying or maybe see Billy coming to attack him (so we can address the racism hate he had to experience better, hopefully)... Will have a vision of his dad and Mike disgusted by him and then of Jonathan but that breaks the illusion ( I want this so bad give me Will not believing that Jonathan would ever be like that to him!!!! )... maybe El will see Brenner again telling her it's her fault that Max is in a coma, Joyce would see Bob, Hopper would see Sara... and they will defeat the visions all of them except Mike that is last and is losing having visions of all the people around him making fun of him and El and Will telling him he's a loser and homophobic stuff maybe ( he's losing because of his ass being paralleled with Beverly from IT) but then we'll see all the people in the party talking to Mike about why they all love him to make him win + Will that confesses his love and that saves Mike as the last minute

I think that would be awesome and I also think this could happen after Vecna divided them in a sort of mind labyrinth he created and then they all find each other and find Mike in the climax of the finale before they start fighting Vecna back and winning some irl and some still in the mind space, I think El and Will are going to stay in the mind space and attack Henry together there and the others are going to resume the plan they had irl, Mike is probably hurt irl but he's alive in the finale... Maybe Vecna breaks one of his arms like in the s3 campaign he gets hurt at one arm so I'm expecting that somewhere

I think this is a possibility because of just how much stuff they took from IT before and it would make sense with how Henry likes to kill his victims by breaking their minds first, unless they really introduce time travel it's the thing that makes more sense + obviously sending the monsters to attack Hawkins irl at the same time so it's sort of like s4 on a big scale plus s2 because they all talk about their memories with Mike and the relationships and love between the characters are the key to win

[hero-israel]

I know this is really hard for all of us to talk about, especially because of all the ways this discourse can be weaponized by the worst possible people, but....I am really, really disturbed by the hideously antisemitic consensus I see coalescing in Western non-white activist spaces. I'm a halfie and the non-Jewish half is non-white, so I suspect I feel a bit more okay saying this -- and I get why so many others in our community don't want to get into this. It's so fraught. But like....there's always been antisemitism in some of these spaces, we know that. But I feel like what I'm seeing right now is on a new level, especially among younger people. And with antisemitism ALSO rising on the right among younger white people.....where are we going to be in fifty years? What can we do to push back against this? I'm very involved in feminist organizing, and I'm hearing full-on blood libel from women I've known for years, many of whom are of my non-Jewish background. And I'm totally failing to get through to most of them. There's no understanding of how antisemitism functions, because it's so different -- but when I say that, it's now dismissed as, basically, colonialist white people complaining about "reverse racism." We're being lumped in with the Charlottesville kids, who also want us dead. I have no idea what to do. I'm really feeling how few Jews there are in the world -- how do we overturn this tide when the only people who really give a shit are us, and there are so few of us? They repeat things enough times, and it doesn't matter if they're wrong. They make reality, essentially. It just feel impossible.

I wish there was something specific I could offer, but I don't have the background here and would wind up just speaking over people who have faced different challenges. It feels horrible to have longtime purported allies go silent; what you are describing, where they become positively hateful and dangerous and one feels split in half, seems even worse.

I have often seen questions similar to yours on the Jewish areas of Reddit (r/Jewish and r/Judaism), and every time it comes up it has been handled with loving welcome and great detail. If you haven't already asked the community there, you should. If you are a student, perhaps your local Hillel can be of help. I also suspect some of my readers could be of more help on this than me, and hope they will chime in as well.

There have always been few of us, few enough that it often does not matter if widespread beliefs against us are merely factually false. But please don't despair. This is the worst moment for the Jewish people during any of our lifetimes, but our lifetimes have been unimaginably more fortunate than those of basically all past Jews for millennia, more than any you've ever read about and studied. We are still safer, stronger, with more allies, than most of them ever were - and they lasted long enough to make us!

[not-poignant]

Everyone can feel however they want about any character etc etc obligatory disclaimer... that said, I do wonder how people would feel about Temsen if he was white. It's the same thing I wondered when I saw some comment reactions to Kadek back when he was introduced in FFS.

I'm a big fan of Temsen, btw. The way he talked about both Efneisen and Gary's abusive actions was really responsible and useful, and I love characters who have both an upright moral core and the smarts to be able to take actions effectively.

Hi anon!

Yeah I do...sometimes have these moments as well. I also have the self-reflective 'am I writing POC too often as assholes' and then think about Eran and Leo and some of the other characters I've written and it's like okay, I don't think it's necessarily that specifically (though there's always room for improvement) and I really really do like writing hot assholes dsfjkaf

I also love Temsen, I love characters who are just really complicated but ultimately still doing their version of their best. And that anon might not have been thinking of the race factor at all, but it is something that also occasionally plays in the back of my mind because after 10 years of writing, there is a certain kind of 'he just rubs me the wrong way' that characters like Eran, Kadek, and Temsen have gotten just a little bit more than some of the other characters (and on the flipside, the 'oh I didn't know they were POC' which is...a whole...*sighs* - probably at its most painful when it's fanart so you know someone's put a lot of effort into something but also blanked the description of a character's skin colour and features at the same time) - I guess there's just an awareness? Also an awareness of my role in what I'm perpetuating as a white person because realistically I will unfortunately fuck it up too.

I am team 'give anon the benefit of the doubt' because I do canonically write Temsen to be unnerving and intimidating and I do think some readers will be a lot more receptive to / sensitive to that than others. But yeah, I also think this is a really understandable thing to wonder? It's a crunchy space to be in, because I also think Temsen's hitting the mark if he is unnerving some people as a character, just like Gary does. A sort of 'I like it when disabled / POC / queer people can all be hot assholes' lol

But in this instance like, in addition, Temsen has been one of the least directly harmful characters in the entire cast in terms of his actions and I do think about that a lot.

I think until society gets better about racism and decolonisation gets way way way way further it's just a normal thing to wonder about tbh.

(And on an aside, I am glad that the sentiment largely swung towards very positive towards Kadek by the end of FFS. He's one of my favourite side characters that I've written in a while, and I'm hoping to write more with him in side stories one day).

Also re: the talk he gave Efnisien, that has honestly helped Efnisien so much. Him stepping into his strength and consciously thinking about it has directly led to so much of the positive growth he's experienced in the last like 10 chapters. It was so needed, even if the timing wasn't great, Temsen really delivered on that front.

[peoplesrazor]

Oh boy...

So in her introduction, Lily names five shows she thinks people talk about the most often for important LGBTQIA+ Rep. Those shows are Legend of Korra, Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, and The Owl House. She mentions three other shows that I'll talk about later that she says people don't talk about, but which either had rep earlier, or had just as good or better rep.

She doesn't mention Ducktales or the Daria movie Is It Fall Yet ?or any other shows. Just in case you're wondering. She talks about Braceface, 6teen, and Lloyd In Space. Now, Lily has mentioned the other two as they were shows she watched growing up. I think Lloyd was a suggestion on her blog. I remember someone mentioning it there.

I'll let her arguments for these stand as she is mostly talking about how "early" they were. I do want to point out these characters were only in couple of episodes in one case, and a single episode in the others. So, Daria should have certainly been at least mentioned as an early example, even if it wasn't a very good characterization.

The three shows she says have better rep then the five she thinks are held up so much:

Craig of the Creek has several couples that fit this description and it's good rep, because it's so low-key. People talk about them though. The show, though very good, can be a bit niche to begin with so it just doesn't have a large vocal audience.

The Loud House has Luna and Sam, which does get talked about too, but it's a contemporary of the other shows you mentioned. Which means Luna and Sam, by your standards for the more modern stuff, have to be main characters. If you count Luna and Sam as main characters, you have to count, at least, fifteen other people. Kind of easy for their couple of 15 minute episodes to get lost in that shuffle.

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts is one of my all time favorite shows. Lily says people are sleeping on Benson and Troy due to racism. What? Kipo is very popular in the fandom circles I hang around in and Benson and Troy are like THE ship. Did you sleep on this one, Lily? Did no one in your circle recommend it because it's a serialized fantasy adventure? Is that why you never did a dedicated video on it, despite it's rep being so good?

It wouldn't be a Lily video if she didn't tear down the shows other people like. First, there is something she repeatedly gets wrong, as far as I know, about Korra. She again says that Korrasami was a popular ship, true, and that they threw it together last minute, false. At least, by everything I've found. No, it wasn't planned from the start, but it wasn't last minute, either.

They started discussing it while writing book one. Writing. Not during it's run, not while animating the last few eps. While writing it. Why wait then? I suspect it's for something Lily has actually complained about before that actually happens. For some reason, showrunners want to wait until the end of the series to have the couple end up together. I suspect it was never anything deeper than that.

Okay, onto the Catradora thing. I'm not going to argue with anyone, not even Lily, who finds the relationship toxic, unhealthy, abusive. Though, now that I think about it, Lily, you sure seem to like to repeatedly show that footage for someone who gets triggered by FMA.

Anyway, I want to point out this hypocrisy:

Lily: If I have to hear it on a live stream, read it in production materials, or on Twitter, it doesn't count. I base my criticism only on what is in the show.

Also Lily: Let me once again call Catra and Adora sisters based on a single line I found on one page of outside materials, despite the show never once giving any indication that is the case.

She also lies and says it does indicate that. It does not. Hey Lily? Are Kyle, Rogelio and Lonnie also siblings? Wait. You never actually watched the show, you probably don't know who they are.

Should have just posted the bingo card again.

[demonqueenart]

Evie, hi! First of all I want to thank you for spending your time and energy to write all those answers and posts. I'm amazed that you're still able to keep them understanding and kind, which makes it much easier to have this conversation. Thank you!

Your frustration with DnP's lack of reaction is justified and the next thing I'm about to say isn't me coming up with excuses on their behalf or telling you to stop talking about it. It just hurts to see a kind and gentle person like you get upset, so I'm trying to give some consolation, but I'm not too good at that, so sorry in advance if I fuck it up.

Please have patience. Not for their sake, for your own. We won't stop trying to make them acknowledge the racism, but it might take some time. Since their comeback our way of interacting with DnP has been kind of a black box - we talk about stuff on different platforms and then they suddenly mention it. So we know they saw us talking, but we don't know exactly when.

The last 2 weeks have been pure chaos: the leak, the rushed announcement, the wrong dates in the promo, the venues not giving enough info or giving wrong info. After tickets went on sale they only had 4 days before they fucked off to have their just-the-two-of-us-ranch-ingredients vacation.

What I'm trying to say is: their current silence doesn't necessarily mean that they saw us talking and chose to ignore it. Maybe they haven't seen it yet, maybe they are thinking about what to do and what to say. Also, unfortunately white people do need a bit of time to go from "this is an unreasonable attack, I'm not a bad person and they are just haters" to "it's not an attack, it's reasonable criticism and I was being the asshole this whole time". I went through this process myself (and you were the one who helped me understand). Sorry it took me that long.

This isn't me saying it's fine that they haven't addressed anything so far - it's not. Just please don't give up hope yet. They listened to us when it came to Palestine, I'm sure they'll listen now too.

Oh, and ignore all the fuckers who are telling you to either leave or shut up. You make the phandom a better and kinder space. I want you here and many others do too. Plus it's not like anyone gets to gatekeep the community in the first place. You have the right to be here.

From beautiful hellscape with love 💜

Anon 🥹 I felt so cared for because of you. Thank you so much 🫂🫂💞💞 I always want this space to be gentle and kind, even when I’m hurt and angry, I still want to understand where everyone is coming from. I believe that everyone deserves to have their voice being heard. Even when our voices clash and don’t always go together, we can still come to a new understanding, try to mend and build a bridge together. Fighting isn’t always the end of things, it’s when two sides trying to express how unfair the situation is so that they can come together.

And of course, you’re right. They might be quite busy as you’ve pointed out, it doesn’t always mean they’re not going to do anything. I think why I assumed for the worst is because this is very much a new territory for them to cross. They have never brought up their racist remarks, never tried to address or take accountability in things. I’m just afraid it’ll end up just like any other time before.

But having you speaking this to me have reassured that I’m not fighting alone in this. In some way or the other, I have cultivated the most understanding and generous people of all who’re willing to support me during the toughest time, and for that, I’m so grateful. Thank you for reaching out and giving me some consolation to reassure me. Your words will not be wasted :) Thank you so much for everything 🫂🫂💖💖