#this is the most self-indulgent thing i've written in a while but it felt good to shout my many thoughts into this void of a blog

[dinogoofymutated]

Hi! so far I've loved everything you've written about Kurt, Logan and Remy. 🧎🏻‍♀️

Could you write something about Kurt? where together with reader they are in the kitchen of the mansion because they can't sleep, and she finally tells him her concerns about the magnitude of her powers and Kurt with his heart of gold tells her beautiful things to calm her down and make her laugh, the rest to your imagination, I would appreciate it, you write great! Thanks 💙✨

SFW! Nightcrawler/Fem!Reader

Ok so I will admit that I made this a leeetle self indulgent. I was trying to think of a power someone could really struggle with and a fun one that I thought of was having necromancy, but having such respect for life and death that it feels wrong. I thought it would fit well with a Kurt fic because it's something that almost feels sacrilegious, and it's good to have a fuzzy blue elf assure you that you aren't a monster :) I know its def not power ambiguous, but I hope this is okay :)

Also, I know my writing style is a little different in this one, And thats because the first few paragraphs set the tone for my writing when I start and tbh I think this one just flowed from my soul to they keyboard.

TWs: nightmares, necromancy, gross descriptions of rotting flesh. Extreme self-doubt and self-consciousness. Basically angst with a happy ending.

You’ve been having nightmares again. They hardly seem to stop, but after a break in between the terror, you'd become too relaxed. Too comfortable. You felt defenseless when they started to begin again.

It’s always the same dream, different font. Bones cracking, flesh ripping as it’s forced into place, natural or not. Skin rotting off of once human bodies, sockets where eyes used to be. It was horrifying. You’d see your family, friends, acquaintances, everyone. Dead. Brought back to life by your power, the power you were still so afraid of. You were always afraid of zombie movies as a kid. Anything rising from the dead, anything breathed back to life in some sick and twisted fantasy. It was ironic that your very own strength was the thing you had always been the most afraid of.

Of course, as you aged and the professor took you in, the fear began to wear off. Mostly, it did. The professor not only taught you how to control your powers but also how to work around your fear. You can remember the confusion you felt when he had set a box of ancient bones in front of you. Fragments of titans, dinosaurs who had long since passed. Bones that would never be matched to an accurate set, parts of them being crushed to dust by the cruelty of time. Bones that only you could breathe to life, to bring them together as a whole again. It was convenient, the professor had told you, that you only needed a fragment to do so. He spoke as if it were a service to them. Most importantly, he brought you a box of bones that weren’t, and never had been, human.

He had taken the fear out of your power. Given you an option you had never considered before. Bones without flesh, without living family. Fossils that would serve you as you were serving them. You were… happy, with that. You were content. You could handle bones. You could revive these ancient skeletons without fear, and fight with them without worry. That didn’t change the horror of knowing the capacity your powers had.

    So the nightmares remained, and your sleep had become sparse.

    This particular night you were restless. Unable to sleep despite how tired you have been, but it’s hard to rest when there is only terror waiting behind your eyelids. After a while, you decide to give up trying.

The path to the kitchen is one you have memorized, even in the dark. You’ve always been told never to eat sugar before bed, but the only thing you want to comfort you at this moment is hot chocolate- so screw it.

    You try your best to be quiet while fishing out a pot out of the cabinets. The stove makes a click as you flick it on, filling the pot with milk before stirring it as it warms. The automatic task is comforting, falling into a routine you enjoy. You’ve just added the coco mix when the sound of a *Bamph* greets you.

    “Guten abend.” Kurt whispers, walking over to stand beside you. You give him a tired smile that he returns with a yawn.

    “I’m sorry if I woke you.” You say, face returning to a frown Kurt thinks you wear far too often. Maybe it’s good that he’s here because you realize you made far too much of the sweet drink than you had meant to. You get a mug for him, heart fluttering as his hand brushes your own when he takes it from you, thanking you quietly.

    “You did not wake me, Schatz. I promise.” Kurt says, pulling out a chair for you with his tail as he sits at the table. You nod silently, placing the pot in the sink and filling it with water before you join him, leaning against his shoulder.

    “Did you have another nightmare?” Kurt asks after a moment. His brows are furrowed in concern, and you fail to stop him before he takes a sip from the scalding coco, burning his tongue. He scrunches his nose as he sticks out his tongue, making you giggle for a moment. He thinks your laugh suits you much more than your frown, even if it happens to be at his expense. Your face falls slightly anyway, and he wonders if he could get you to laugh if he did it all over again.

    “...No. Not tonight.” The words come out as less than a whisper, and you doubt he might hear it if it weren’t the middle of the night. Little did you know he’d block the world out if he had to, just to hear you speak a little clearer. He hums in response, and you feel his tail slowly wrap snugly around your waist, the very tip idly stroking you in a comforting manner.

    “...Do you wish to speak about them?” Kurt asks after a moment. You huff slightly, feeling the hot steam from your mug warm your face as you do so. Still too hot, you think to yourself. Flashes of those horrid nightmares come to mind, and no matter how quickly you try to shake them off, they remain. You choose to think of Kurt instead. Sweet, kind, comforting Kurt. You want to bury yourself in his arms, sink into the feeling of his skin, and never let go, if only he would let you. He would without a second thought, if only you had known. You think carefully about your next words, and the visions of flesh and corpses hardly leave you.

    “Am I a monster, Kurt?” You hear a quiet, cut-off gasp from Kurt, and he turns to you. His face is pained, and he sets his mug down to place his hand around your own, still clasped around the hot cocoa. 

    “Of course not. Only a fool would think so.” His words, although comforting, only leave you with a worse sting in your heart. You can’t hold eye contact with him, staring at the reflection in your mug instead. Only a fool would think so. You halfway wonder if you count as a fool, then.

    “I, just… My powers, what I do. What I am capable of doing. It’s not right.” You take a shaky breath in, desperately trying not to break down here and now. “It’s disgusting. It’s horrible. Every time I find myself comfortable with myself I am reminded of what is possible and I spiral. I don’t want it. I don’t-”  

  “Liebling.” You let out a sob at the sound of his voice. Kurt is hunched over, pressing his forehead against your own as he desperately tries to catch your gaze- but you can’t. You can't bear it, and you close your eyes tightly. Kurt takes the mug from your hands. He cups your face as he wipes your tears, and you feel like even more of a monster as he does so. Sobbing as a man with a heart of gold wipes your tears away with love and care.

    “Please, look at me,” Kurt whispers. You try to stop the tears, embarrassed as you fall apart in front of the man you hold so dearly, but it’s hard. It’s so hard. Your chest stings, your throat is sore, you’re sure your nose is running, and yet he still holds you so gently. When your breathing evens out just a bit, you convince yourself to open your eyes again.

    Kurt’s gaze is simply concerned. There is no horror, no disgust, nothing but worry for you. Nothing but kindness. You wonder if you could be even half as good as he is. 

    “You are good. You are kind. You are strong enough to stand by your morals despite the nature of your powers telling you otherwise- and you have the strength to continue to use them and fight your fears anyway. You are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. Do not let your nightmares tell you otherwise.” Kurt’s hold is steady against your cheeks, and your own shaky hands reach up to hold onto his wrists. You sob again as he speaks. You know. You know this. Others have told you, but these words all felt like lies. All but the ones you’re hearing from his mouth. Your tears are slowing, and Kurt leans forward to press a kiss to your forehead, leaving the skin tingling. You whisper quiet apologies for crying, and he shushes each one, gently wiping your face with the soft sleeve of his pajama shirt.

  “I would not be here if I didn’t want to care for you, my love,” Kurt says softly. Your eyes widen, taken aback by his words. He called you many things. Liebling. Schatz. Love. But never my love. The words waken butterflies in your belly, and Kurt takes a moment to realize what he’s said. He swallows nervously, but he doesn’t pull away. You don’t either. The two of you are treading a line that you both desperately want to cross. 

    Kurt is the first to lean in. He does so slowly, toeing the line between you. His gaze remains on your own as he closes the space, nose nuzzling against your own as he gives you the time to back out if you wish. But you don’t. You want nothing more than to have what he is so freely giving. 

    Kurt kisses you softly, lovingly, and for once the horrors have quieted and are cleared from your mind. All there is now is Kurt, and his soft love. He kisses you a second time before he pulls away, still as close to you as he can be without falling out of his chair. You wonder how he can see beauty where all you see is terror. He wonders if you have any clue just how much of a good person you continue to be.

    He knows he would gladly spend the rest of his life showing you.

[lunarleonardo]

Alright I got another question

Which of your fics is your favorite and which one is your least favorite in terms of how they turned out (and maybe actually writing them too)

Hooo this is a tough one

My favorite fic would probably be Motive 5. I always joke about how it was the "peak of lunarleonardo". I had just finished Blue Eyes at the time and I wanted to do something a lot more self indulgent. I was still nervous yeeah,, I always am when I start a new fic or post the next chapter. But Motive 5 was genuinely some of the most fun I've ever had while writing a story all the way through :] I think the most uncertain I was was during the Blackout chapters,, and even then i was rlly excited. Especially when everyone was freaking out over the add of the "Loss of Limbs" tag xD Motive 5 was awesome dude. It has its issues yeah, but what matters to me is that I love it. I do wish I could have gotten a little gorier though,, oh Lamprey Puzzle you could have been great :{

Second favorite is probably Love Letter I'll be so fr. I love Love Letter. Writing it has been tough nerves-wise,, it's like Blue Eyes nervousness all over again. But I've been having so much fun with the story (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡ I can't say for sure how it'll turn out in the end,, it depends on my execution of the coming chapters and ideas I have. But right now I think it's pretty neat ^^ i do wish I planned out Tsumugi's motives a little better though. It was only in the trial that i started wondering "why DID she fake the suicide?" which uh. Probably would have been a good starting question (⁠个⁠_⁠个⁠)

Impermanent Attachment is probably my third favorite. It was HELL to write and honestly I hated it up until the last two chapters. I was shocked to find that so many people loved it tbh,, I only rlly like it for the ending. The actual time loop felt bleh

Shadow of a Dead Bro, Blue Eyes and Fever Frost all kind of sit at the bottom tier. I gave SDB just the ending I wanted, though it was written a while back and I was getting used to the whole "people are perceiving my creations" thing. Same with Blue Eyes, and I feel like that was just. All over the place. Q_Q fever frost is just. It's certainly there thats for sure. Writing the last chapter to that was about as pleasant as sticking ur fingers into a paper shredder

[604to647]

💖Fic authors self rec!💖

when you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. (if you feel like it, no pressure.) spread the self-love 😘💕

Thank you Kate and @milla-frenchy for the ask! One of my most self indulgent guilty pleasures is to look back on what I've written 🤭🤭 I seem to have gotten into the habit of writing series, so I'll try to pick my favourite individual instalments/chapters if it applies 😁.

Birthday Present - one of the few one-shots I've written and the only thing I've written for Javi P (my love 🥹). Even though I started my writing journey with SwY, this story with Javi is the first I ever conceptualized - it felt wonderful to get some of it "on paper". I may never write the full story for them, but these days I think about doing another one-shot to show their meet-cute (there's spilled coffee! A misunderstanding with the Ambassador!), or a little photocopier room scene that takes place after her birthday 🤔

Lingerie (Safest with You is my baby on its own, but this one is my fave of the series/au) - I think I've said it elsewhere, but this is one of my favourites simply because when I posted it, it was the first time I told Mr. 604 about my writing and he was so, so supportive. So I'll forever associate this story with those good feelings.

Husband Material (The Rockford Portfolio) - I love the TikTok trend that inspired this story! It's so cute (although the OG video not so much) and now when I'm on the clock app, I keep an eye out for new couple trends that might inspire more stories for these two. This is also where my brainrot for soft!Tim who's totally obsessed with his girl took root 🤭

Barón Tovar Takes a Wife (particularly the Second Movement) - my only crossover and it was such a blast to write because while I was doing so, I was getting all hyped on the anticipation for Bridgerton Season 3. The dialogue style of this time period is so beautiful sometimes (almost lyrical), it was great fun to attempt it!

Strawberry Shortcake (all three parts) - I actually started two other Frankie fic/mini-series first but this one flew into my brain and just would not leave. What I was worried about with this one (that the three parts were sort of inconsistent in terms of feel and vibes) ended up being the thing I liked the most about the series in the end 😊

Thank you so, so much to anyone who has ever read or supported any of these stories or anything I write 🥹 It contributes so, so much to my own enjoyment of my fics, you don't even know!

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

<3 Ooohhh ok hm... honestly i do not post much fic (checked AO3 and only 18), for the amount that i start writing and then leave in various stages of completion in drafts on my computer, oops. Unfortunately at least 1 favorite is in that category, but here we go!

Fallout from the Fade (Dragon Age: Inquisition): Hawke is left in the fade during the events of DAI's Here Lies The Abyss, but manages to fight her way back out. However she's left to recover from the severe side effects and trauma that come along. Ok my confession here is while i have not updated this fic since 2020, i have in fact written more of it. But since i kept going so long (months... and then years...) between chapters I decided it'd be better if i just finish writing the rest myself (at least roughly) so i know how much more there is to go and can update it on a more regular schedule in the future when i start posting again. Alas i am very slow at this bc of grad school and also bc i get distracted easily and... have less motivation to work on it when not actually getting feedback as i go. So i may change my mind about this approach eventually but it's where the fic stands now.

Like Teeth Against His Heart (Dragon Age: Inquisition): After Solas wakes up from uthenera, he has many conversations with a variety of spirits over the course of DAI. Sometimes they tell him what he wants to hear, and sometimes they don't. I typically like the recent things I've written the most and this is that. It's a prose-poem style that plays with formatting, aka its kind of Weird, and weird is my favorite. I wrote it for a charity zine which also meant i had to have a Final Version rather than endlessly tweak it forever which was irritating at the time but also good for me.

Unposted, No-Finalized-Title fic, with the file jokingly named 'Sam I Am' (Mass Effect: Andromeda): pre-Andromeda and game timeline but from the perspective of your ship's AI, who also lives inside your character's brain, and in the game admits to altering your brain/body, and hello??? the game did NOT let me respond to that to the degree I desired? One of my literary obsessions is the combination of AI (the sci fi kind not... generative art etc) plus human augmentation... what that does to both parties sense of self, their relationships, how they view and function in the world, etc. In the vein of Silently And Very Fast by Cat Valente, Imperial Radch by Ann Lecke, Murderbot by Martha Wells... and I spent soooo much time wishing Andromeda had gone deeper into that angle/thinking about it myself I wrote. Quite a long fic about it. But i only played the game once and there wasn't much fan love/fanworks for it so I never posted it or any other Andromeda stuff I wrote, it was more just for myself. I'd like to go back and finish this fic but I estimate it'd be in the 40-70k word range and i'd need to replay the game to refresh my memory so it's like, a project for when i have a bunch of free time at some point in the future, since it's mostly just for Me.

the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive (Mass Effect trilogy): Snippets of a variety of Garrus' thoughts and memories of Shepard, and a growing realization about the nature of love like theirs. I don't expect anyone to love this one but me, because it's just a self-indulgent thing I wrote specifically to figure out the flavor of grief involved in the relationship between my personal Shepard and Garrus. It's not as poem-formatted as my Solavellan one but the prose leans hard in that direction, and they came from the same place for me. I wrote it after finishing the trilogy because I (unlike a lot of fans, i know) felt very adamant that the correct ending for my Shepard is that she is dead now, and not coming back, and needed to cry some more about that.

like the leaves after a long winter (Dragon Age II): It's the first Christmas/Satinalia since Leandra's death, and Hawke is not in the mood for festivities -- until she realizes that everyone else will be spending it alone and finds herself hosting a party without even meaning to. I'll be honest #5 spot was kind of a toss up between this one, Less A Man Than A Wild Cat, and Grief. But I've decided on this one because 1. it covers my favorite thing to write about aka grief, but is actually written as a story/proper narrative unlike others i've already put on this list. With fanfic the most important thing to me before anything else is self-indulgence. While I love writing for prompts (like this one was!), my specific joy in that is taking an idea from someone else and figuring out how to cram all the things I care about into someone else's plot summary. Fanfic for me is like... it feels weird to call it 'writing exercises' because that implies i don't care about the final project when i very much do. Writing challenges? Maybe? Idk i just really enjoy having limitations to work within. Having NO boundaries is where I do my original content writing, so writing within the bounds of an existing franchise already means there's some limits (like keeping to characterizations, plot, etc) and then adding more on top makes it a fun experience and keeps me engaged.

While these are my top 5, I definitely don't think most of them are what other people would pick as a favorite from my (admittedly very limited) amount of posted writing, Fallout from the Fade being the exception. I think my friends probably like the one where I turned Fenris into a cat best (and that was VERY fun it's just also more lighthearted which i struggle to write sooooo bad), and then every one else is in my inbox about the single Solas x F!Travelyan fic I wrote largely as an experiment in writing sex scenes. sorry to everyone who read that and then tried to read my other fics and discovered its mostly blood and loss and Yearning...

[rateatingraccoon]

Cursed (Baldur's Gate 3)

Finally making good on my promise of bg3 fics and finishing one, even if it's by far the most self indulgent fic I've ever written.

Still, I hope you enjoy. Fic under the cut.

MINOR SPOILERS FOR ACT 1!!

"Tav has anxiety, and while the adrenaline has been staving it off so far, she finds herself panicking before the team heads out to the goblin camp. She's discovered by Gale."

Relationships: Gale & Fem!Tav - can be read as platonic or romantic

WARNINGS: Unintentional self harm, anxiety attacks, referenced bad history with getting found during anxiety attacks, blood

DISCLAIMER: While this fic is written by someone with anxiety and is based off personal experiences, everyone experiences things differently. Please do not treat this as medical information.

---

It was bound to happen, but why now? Why now had Tav’s adrenaline worn dry, and the familiar grip of her mental curse returned to her?

It would have been fine if it was before now. When her companions still retained their independent survival, even in their shared camp. Or perhaps when they first found the Emerald Grove, and then she would probably have remembered to ask Nettie about medicine for it. Or when Gale was just a wizard they encountered, not a friend she didn’t want to bother with asking for a spell.

And yet, it only returned now. When everyone else was gathering their armor and sharpening their weapons in preparation to drag the goblin camp to the ground. When Tav was too close to all of them to ever consider risking their friendship with her burden. Only now had that burden returned, full force.

She ducked behind the familiar stone wall, a patch of peace within the bustling camp. She hauled in breaths, as though somehow oxygen would drown out her brain, perhaps bring back the adrenaline that kept her eased for so long. Her breaths were so deep and so rushed that some threatened to come back in a cough, but she held them back for fear of being too loud. It only made it worse.

Tears stung her eyes as she heaved air in and out of her lungs, trying desperately to ground herself despite rarely being able to ever before. Her body fought to move, to release pent-up energy that only seemed to increase, and the longer she forced herself to stay still the more heightened her senses became.

Her shirt was scratchy at the collar and just barely brushing her skin at the torso. Her hair wouldn’t get out of her face - panting, she panickedly gripped at it and ripped it out, throwing it to the side as her hands sought something more to destroy. One tugged painfully at more hair while the other dug half-chewed nails into the dry soil, pulling up the dirt. She could still hear the sounds of her companions getting ready - she had to hurry. She had to control herself. Why couldn’t she control herself?

She fought back a scream and her hands continued to search for any outlet for her energy. Several strands of hair now littered the ground, and blood dripped from a wound where she hadn’t even realized she’d been scratching. In her panic of realization, her hand only reached up and tore at the side of her neck. She hunched over, body nearly shaking, mind rushing and blank all at the same time. Her lungs were tight, it felt near impossible to breathe. Her nails continue to tear and shred at anything they could. It was all too much. Too much.

It was so much that she didn’t even hear the footsteps approaching. She was too focused on just desperately trying to breathe, trying to fight her tears, trying to get all her energy out no matter how much she bled. Her eyes opened wide the second she realized there was a figure crouching next to her, and she rushed to wipe away her tears. Her hands stopped scratching in favor of gripping the red, raw skin, a less obvious alternative.

“Sorry, I’m just about to get ready to go,” Tav spoke hurriedly, trying her best to feebly cover up her breakdown that was still pounding at her mind. “Just, um, a little anxious. I just needed a few minutes. I’m fine now.” A lie. A shaky one at that. She risked a glance up at the companion who had joined her, finding Gale staring down at her with those puppylike eyes, concern glossing over them.

Tav gnawed at her bottom lip as she looked up at the wizard, knowing full well that he didn’t buy a single word she said. His frown was deep, and he lowered himself down further to be on the same eye level with Tav. She quickly dodged his gaze, trying to fight back further tears that threatened to spill, even more aggressive than the last wave.

Guilt twisted in her chest at the knowledge Gale had seen her like this. That he now knew how weak she truly was, that now perhaps he would worry over her. Fear joined the guilt just as quickly as Tav considered the alternative - he would be angry. Angry that they had to deal with this. Angry that she’d forgotten to ask about medicine at the grove. He’d call it a tantrum just as they all did, and perhaps he would be right. He might even expose her condition to the others, argue over her use in the group when she was incapable of even going to some camp of goblins. Even if he didn’t, he’d likely just get more annoyed the more the side effects of her condition emerged.

The thoughts caused words to fail her, to ball up in her throat as she didn’t dare risk another glance at Gale. See his disappointment or his annoyance or his anger. She laid back against the wall and stared at the ground, marks where she had torn at it just as obvious as the dirt under her bloody fingernails.

“Is that blood?”

Tav’s breath hitched. This was it. This was the moment he’d get angry. Angry that they were all about to shed their own blood for the sake of the grove, and yet she was here doing it herself, making herself weaker than she already was.

Her body tensed as she felt touch on her arm, the one that was bleeding from her panicked scratching. She didn’t dare look up, though she could feel it as Gale pulled her arm up so he could look at it better. The crescent indents, the raw, red skin, the blood leaking from the edges of the fresh wounds. Weakness. Failure. Instability. Incapability.

“This needs to be cleaned. Here, allow me to…”

His voice wavered off as Tav’s eyes widened and she looked up at him. He was casting a simple water spell, cupping the liquid in his hand and pouring it gingerly onto the wound. “Apologies, I don’t have the proper supplies for a healing spell at the moment,” he mumbled casually. “I left it at my tent when I went to look for you. But, ah, I could go retrieve it, couldn’t I? Allow me to go and fetch…”

As he stood to go get his supplies, he was stopped abruptly by a firm grip on his sleeve. Tav had gripped it to halt him. “You don’t need to bother,” she protested. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt myself. It always looks worse than it is, promise. It’ll scab over by the time we get to the camp. I’m just really sorry. It won’t happen again, I swear…”

Gale’s eyes widened in something akin to recognition. Immediately he leaned down, and Tav winced, preparing herself for pleas to stop or for a lecture. She glanced back at the ground, and felt Gale’s grasp tense as he watched her.

“Hey, look at me. Please. If you can.” Gale said softly. This was it. The lecture, the begging. The sending away. The outcasting. She tentatively met his gaze, despite how much her mind protested. It was painfully difficult, but even more painful was the thought of making this situation worse.

Her eyes widened slightly, though, as she felt warm hands meet the sides of her face. Gentle ones, soft and smelling of sweet lotion. Not fearful or firm - nervous and hesitant, sure, but so was Tav. She blinked blankly at him, a bit surprised at the lack of an outburst.

“May I hug you?” he asked quietly. This took Tav by surprise, yes, but she tentatively nodded and leaned close as his arms moved to wrap around her and pull her against the soft fabric of his robes. She melted in his embrace, tears threatening to spill. She let them.

Soon she was sobbing into his shoulder as he rubbed her back, her body shaking with effort and relief. “That’s it. You may talk about it if you wish. I think we should all take another day before eradicating those foul goblins,” he suggested. Tav immediately jolted and tried to protest, but one of his hands reached for the back of her hair and caressed it soothingly. “It’s alright. You’re not the only one who needs a mental health day, you know.”

She was still tense, but soon leaned back down in defeat and her body relaxed into his again, shaking softly with tears still. He whispered soft reassuring in her ear, and held her until her body relaxed, exhausted against his. But, unlike most times after she recovered from anxiety attacks, her mind wasn’t blank and shut down. It was… strangely relaxed.

“Let’s go get those wounds cleaned up, why don’t we?” Gale murmured. Tav nodded, her heart swelling with warmth.

“Sorry, again,” she repeated quietly.

“Ah, shush. We all have our own little non-mindflayer tadpoles, don’t we?” he chuckled. Tav smiled softly in response, nodding again, worried that if she tried to speak she would only apologize again.

And despite the peril that they had faced and would continue to face, she felt oddly safe with his hand now in hers.

---

Tysm for reading! I know this was very self indulgent, but I personally find fics like this comforting and was hoping to provide some feed for people who think alike.

Feel free to drop requests in my askbox. I'm taking bg3 ones~

As always, I really hope you enjoyed. Much love!

[greenapricot]

2023 fic year in review

Doing my 2023 fic year in review in February bc that's how things are going in 2024 so far.

Total number of fic: 5 (1 still in progress)

Total word count: 24,217

Fandoms written in: Lewis (3), Endeavour (1), Our Flag Means Death (1)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Less. Though I didn't really have any specific expectations about quantity, just that I wanted to write things I enjoyed writing regardless of the reception, as opposed to past years when I was fixated on the idea of writing a certain amount of fic per month. 2023 felt much more relaxed writing-wise and I'm also about halfway through a super self-indulgent fic that is probably going to end up being around 20k and I'm very pleased with that.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? The Names of All the Winds (Lewis, James/Robbie, magical realism au, alternate meeting). The aforementioned fic that's half done. I am having so much fun reliving my own holiday on Lake Garda by sending slightly alternate universe Robbie and James there and also writing magical realism which I hadn't done in a while.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I wouldn't call it a risk exactly, but Patterns Unfamiliar (Lewis, James/Robbie, hurt/comfort) was a fun challenge. My writing is usually very visual and it was interesting to have to describe what was happening in the story when the POV character was in complete darkness.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? Finish TNoAtW, which I'm actively working on and hope to manage by the end of March.

And I've said this the last two years running, but I really do want to finish the sequel to Lead me wild to your dark roads my Lewis/Shetland xover (currently titled The last place we left off). I did do a fair amount of work on it before I entered the fic challenge that spawned TNoAtW, and wrote a good portion of the Shetland fic interlude that I've realized needs to go between the two stories. So both of those are next in line after TNoAtW.

Then there's the Blackbeard's Building & Renovation fic idea that was spawned in discord, in which Ed is a builder and Stede an interior decorator (each with their own crews) and they are both hired to work on the same house at the same time. Some kind of OFMD/Grand Designs-ish fusion. And, as ever, those three Lewis casefics that are mostly plotted and not anywhere close to completion.

Most popular story of the year? One thing at a time (Lewis, James/Robbie). It was spring, I had allergies, so I wrote a fic in which James had allergies. It seems to resonate with folks :D

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Nothing like poetry (Endeavour, post-s6 Ronnie Box angst). It has the least number of comments and kudos, but I don't actually think it's under-appreciated. Ronnie Box ruminating on the terrible mess his life is post-s6 is just very niche.

Most fun story to write: TNoAtW for all the reasons I mentioned above and adding my own photos to it. And it remains fun.

Most unintentionally telling story: I should probably make up another question to go here bc I never have a good answer for this, but The Most Remarkable Thing (OFMD, Ed/Stede, domestic fluff) was basically me putting my love of gardening and living a quiet life in the woods into fic form.

Biggest disappointment: I wouldn't say it was a disappointment, but I really did think I was going to finish the Lead me wild sequel in 2023. I think I'll finally finish it in 2024 though (this time for sure).

Biggest surprise: TNoAtW growing into what looks like it will be the third longest fic I've ever written.

Tagging people just for the fun of it (no pressure though): @bryndeavour, @thankyouforbeingsowrong, @vita-s-west, @mcgstarroar, @mr-iskender, @ronniebox

[ardent-fox]

New Year's Ask Game for Fic Writers ✍✨

I decided to complete this game to help me reflect and possibly get back into writing regularly again, I was not tagged but here's a bit of self-indulgence nonetheless 😊💙

To close out 2023…

1) What fic did you have the most fun writing this year and why? Or, if you can’t decide, what was most fun about writing this year for you?

I've only completed and posted one fic this year/ever and about a dozen Galladrabbles, and had the most fun writing humorous dialog whenever it was sprinkled into them.

2) What’s a scene/story that you finished and felt “wow, I really accomplished that, that actually went so well”?

The mechanics of Mickey getting fucked and jerked off at the same time in Everything, followed by describing his and Ian's orgasms. I've never written erotica from a male perspective before fanfiction and had no idea how I was going to do it, but am pretty satisfied with the results.

3) What helped provide the most inspiration for stories, if anything? Was it poetry? A song on repeat? A gorgeous gifset? A walk outside? A book you read that made you want to change everything? Whatever it was! Tell all.

Music, I make playlists for most of my WIPs. Everything had only a couple of songs, the most prominent ones being Colorblind by Counting Crows for Mickey's and I'll Be Your Lover, Too by Van Morrison for Ian's perspective. Also the poem "My God, Why Are You Crying?" by Molly Peacock, which I discovered while going through a Reddit thread about people crying during sex, doing research is sometimes inspiring in itself.

4) What is something you want to share about what you’ve written this year? A particular line, a comment that made you feel really good, a scene that was difficult to write — you get to choose! What do you wish someone would ask you about when it comes to what you’ve written?

This little tidbit in Everything that I managed to write after coming back to what I thought was an abandoned fic five months later, capturing Mickey's conflicting feelings about making noise:

The beginning of a sob emerges and he gulps it down, flinching when he feels Ian nod encouragingly against him. Rather, he dips his head, cheek resting on the back of Ian's hand as fresh tears quietly leak from him, a rogue one snagging on Ian's wrist before sliding down. "Hey," Ian gentles, hand stirring beneath him. "Don't have to hold anything back. Can be as loud as usual." He wants to, he truly does. Pleasure builds deep within him, its sounds catching in his throat, begging to be freed. Other noises tether themselves, too, ones he'd rather not bring to fruition, and he draws in his bottom lip to keep them at bay, the stubborn desire to hand-pick them denying him the deliverance of any. Restraint coils around him and he clings to it in turn, actually praying Ian doesn't stand for it and finds a way to cut it down, his authority easier for Mickey to give in to than his own permission to be vocal.

Also, all the beautiful comments I got for the fic and all the reblog tags I got for my Galladrabbles, I always screenshot those so I can easily find and reread them whenever I need a pick-me-up 💕

And to start off 2024…

1) Do you have any writing/creation goals for the year? What are they?

Just to write more without any expectations and see where it takes me, whether it's fanfic or personal stuff. Make it fun, write with abandon and focus more on the process than the final result, more on the emotions I wish the story to evoke than on the construct of things. Try to finish up most of the Gallavich WIPs I've had going on since summer of 2022, but not be afraid to drift away if something else inspires me in the moment and just write, write, write.

2) Is there a fic or idea that you’re really excited to be able to continue to work on in the new year (shout out to my fellow fic writing folks who take forever to finish wips, sometimes it’s nice to be able to continue working on something even if you wish you’d gotten it done! Now you get even MORE time with it!)

There's one domestic/fluff/angst communication-centered Gallavich fic I got the idea for and outlined not long after I joined the fandom, but thought I needed more practice before writing it that I feel ready enough to jump back into now, so that's very exciting. I also have a 13K WIP one-shot of gratuitous smut that I wrote for Kinktober 2022 that I was 90% done with, but scrapped because I used my then limited resources to complete Everything instead, and I'd love to give it a rewrite and complete it. There are ideas brewing for a Blackbonnet fic as well, but I'd rather wait and see whether we get a season 3 before delving into it, since I prefer to write post-canon. Also continue Galladrabbles, my dear 100-word morsels that are super fun to write and allow me to experiment with different themes and styles which I can later apply to other projects if I see fit.

3) What’s something new in your writing you want to try/are going to try? A different writing style? Different fandom? Darker works? Fluffier? Longer or shorter?

I'd like to work on being less rigid in my sentence structure, play around with length/pacing in order to convey the mood better. Stop focusing on counting how many times I've used a certain word and switching it out even though it fits perfectly, not allow editing to suck the joy out of things in a way. I'd love to write more at a faster pace, too, but since severe brain fog prohibits me from writing a single coherent sentence on particularly bad days and that a 7K one-shot took me 6 months to write + 2 months to edit, I'm just content with keeping my motivation strong and spirits high while writing at whatever pace I can manage. I'd also like to experiment more with angst and see how I navigate difficult, dark, traumatic topics as well as possibly try writing in the past tense, as I'm not sure a present one is the way to go for every fic.

4) What’s something you love about your own writing that you will continue to appreciate in the new year?

My ability to dive into a character's psyche in order to describe their feelings and reasonings in complicated situations, all the while making sure I sprinkle at least a tiny bit of humor along the way. I'd love to continue playing with themes such as healing through communication and sex and working out their kinks as a couple, both in and outside the bedroom, all in favor of emotional breakthroughs that strengthen the bond between them. If the level at which I'm able to portray a character's vulnerability matches the enthusiasm I have for exploring it, I reckon I'll stay on the right track this year.

Tagging @lupeloto, @crossmydna, @metalheadmickey, @gallawitchxx, @whatthebodygraspsnot, @ian-galagher, @squidyyy23, @bawlbrayker, @secret-gallavich, @juliakayyy, @look-i-love-u, @thisdivorce, @mmmichyyy, @howlinchickhowl, @callivich, @lingy910y, @arrowflier and @sam-loves-seb in case you haven't done this and would like to, otherwise just ignore the double tag and accept this cookie as a token of my adoration 🍪🥰

[decaflondonfog]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💜

omg hi this is so kind!!! thank you <3

well. i don't have thaaaaat many fics (says the girl who has like +60 fics under a different name fdjhghj) but this is still kind of hard!

growing pains (check please!, bitty/parse, rated e, 50k)

both like on the creating side of things, and in a final product sense, this is probably one of the things i've written i am most proud of. 50k is no joke. it just took over sooooooo much of my life, and i still think about them every day.

what are they up to? are they happy? is jack happy? is bitty's book super popular? has he met kent's sisters and nieces? their story was just... ugh. so so so important to me and felt so good to write despite the angsty bits and was also FUN. i had not had that much fun writing in such a long time!!

2. savage natures (aftg, mary hatford character study with a side of andreil, rated m, 6k)

my first aftg fic! it's funny because this would be a much different fic if i'd written it now (i'd be less of a coward and i wouldn't bother with the andreil plotline. i need more mary. alas.) but i'm still really proud of it and love it so, so dearly. i don't usually write 1st person pov but i really love the voice i gave mary here!!

3. geometric equilibrium (aftg, kandreil rated m, 10k)

canon compliant kandreil? i wanted to read it so i wrote it. this was the first fic idea i had after i read the books, even though i ended up posting savage natures first. it was really scary trying to get their voices right and jumping from pov to pov, but it was super self indulgent and i'm proud of it.

4. celly (aftg, ?? the pairing is whatever you want, rated t, 800 words)

i wasn't going to include this because it's only a ficlet but by god i love it. i was writing a different thing that day and had been studying exy rules for ages and then a pal filled my head with images of kevin being climbed like a tree and this was born! it's fun! go sports!!

5. a wreath of white lilies (aftg, kevin/allison, rated very e, 4k)

valentine's day funeral smut!!!!! WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE? i love writing unhinged shit like this. 10/10 would rec as a writing experience, everyone should go nuts every once in a while. it's good 4 u

[ashirisu]

Hi ashirisu, happy Storyteller Saturday.

Have you ever written something that’s been so emotional that you’ve almost (or actually) cried, yelled out loud, or even just felt emotional while writing it?

@aquadestinyswriting Happy STS to you as well! <3

I have, and it's my favorite writing-related story to tell bc it's atrociously corny and also the itty-bitty personal achievement that I'm proudest of.

So I've had this fantasy story rattling around in my head since I was about eleven, though I've only ever actually written a couple of scenes down. I have entire notebooks full of worldbuilding details, though, including a whole marriage tradition based around flower language and crafting flower crowns for the couple to exchange on their wedding day.

I went hard on this, too. I was really into flower language at the time, so I had meanings for all the different real and fictional flowers and which ones were most frequently paired with each other, but I also got uncharacteristically into the history and culture of the thing. I went into how the tradition has changed over time, how it differs based on class and region, what marriages in different seasons are meant to symbolize based on the flowers that are available, which flowers were most commonly associated with brides vs. grooms and why couples may choose to deviate from it, what to do with the crowns after the wedding, etc. etc. It's hands-down the most in-depth worldbuilding I've ever done, all for a story that has maybe seven written scenes, tops.

Out of those handful of scenes, my favorite one involves the engagement and subsequent elopement of the main character and his love interest (pretty much the whole story revolves around their childhood-friends-to-lovers romance arc). It's the dorkiest thing in the world and so far from actually good, but writing it was an act of completely self-indulgent glee and reading it is a joy and a delight every time. It's important to note here that these two are the OCs, the original blorbos from my brain, and no matter how many times I change their names and appearances, a silly scene in which they decide to marry each other and go exchange marriage crowns in a field full of flowers gets me so fuckin giddy that I can't stop grinning for an hour.

But the other big reason that this whole scene means so much to me is that I've had this piece of worldbuilding in my heart and mind for so long that it's practically become synonymous with marriage for me. I'm in love with this idea so much that, when my now-husband proposed and we started planning our wedding, one of the very first things I asked was if we could dedicate part of our extremely small budget toward real flowers so that we could have flower crowns, very timidly explaining where the idea came from and why it was important to me.

He's like, "Obviously we're going to do that??"

I realize, of course, that I'm not the only one to ever have flower crowns at my wedding, but the fact that I did and that the whole reason was based on this silly thing I wrote makes me so happy. Every time I look at those notes or at my wedding photos, I'm reminded that I wrote this romantic little tradition that made its way into my actual real life in at least some small way and I just feel so proud of myself. It's a good feeling.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Time for more salt and violence :DDDD

7. Which character did you begin to hate not because of canon but how the fandom acts about them?

15. That one thing you see in fanart all the time

19. You're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

7. Which character did you begin to hate not because of canon but how the fandom acts about them?

I find myself VERY RESISTANT to this kind of shit so when the universe makes me feel like I want to hate a character I kind of go the opposite direction and love them harder than any of their fans.

For example I see so many infuriating takes with Catra and Hordak but I REFUSE to hate them. I insist on loving them more for all of their flaws, to be the one who loves them most for their character. I fucking adore those characters.

Maybe my opinion would be different if I was saturated by fandom like all the realtime watchers were? Like I'd be worn down.

I'm trying to think of other characters this DOES apply to.

For a show I'm genuinely obsessed with - The closest might be Lemongrab in AT fandom, he was super woobiefied by some people and some of those people were not particularly good to me or to the AT crew (talking events that happened over 10 years ago). I will be real it's nothing on the scale of what happened in shera fandom, and I still love Lemongrab as a character, but I avoid making anything with him in it because I don't want his fans to speak to me. Hoping the situation is different now.

There's also Simon Laurent from Infinity Train. I never particularly LIKED Simon, I find him interesting, but FUCKING HELL. TAKE ALL OF THE ABOVE CHARACTERS AND MULTIPLY IT BY 100. I was still getting messages from the "Simon Anon" A FEW WEEKS AGO SAYING THAT I NEED TO BOYCOTT INFINITY TRAIN because the creators said some stupid ableist about Simon, which they did, BUT IT'S NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY LEAVE ME ALONE. Anyone who is a Simon stan is usually completely terrifying, and is occasionally racist or sexist depending on their stance on Grace while defending their precious white boy. Once I entered a server and someone IMMEDIATELY asked me what my thoughts on Simon were, they were completely ready to start a fight with me over it and I've never felt more terrified in my life.

I also got sick and tired of Hunter quickly for pretty much the same reasons as Simon, though he's not written to be an evil incel like Simon, he REALLY IS the woobie boy that everyone considers him to be adn that's why I don't like him. I appreciate his character arc but ehhhhhh I couldn't stand him until the end of season 2 and during season 3 where it finally got past the "im going to be MURDERED by BELOS if i dont do EVERYTHING IMMEDIATELY" phase. The reason Catra never falls into this category for me is because she had supervillain energy and tried so so hard to regain agency and she kicked Hordak's ass and opened the Portal. Hunter meanwhile takes every hit, and I just... it is painful to watch, especially having been in situations of fear and psychological abuse. I don't enjoy it and I don't enjoy the fandom's TERRIFYING OBSESSION with him.

Zuko is almost a character I don't like. There is no anti-fandom for Zuko so I have no reason to stubbornly love him. People always compare every redemption arc to Zuko and I am fucking sick of it.

15. That one thing you see in fanart all the time

If it's a group it's ALWAYS Best Friend Squad 4 man, which makes sense I guess since theyre The Main Group but like... Q_Q i just want to include Entrapta and Scorpia and make it a BFS/SPT combo. Is that self indulgent of me? Especially when it's S5 fanart, I want more Entrapta because she was basically with them the entire time! Aaaaaaaaaa!!!!! I have a lot of thoughts on "4 man BFS" as an entity and why it works as an answer to s1, and why it doesn't work so well in s5, and why I am sad there was no s5 closure to sPT even if that is a dead sPT i just wanted one more scene--

wait that's not really what this question is about, we are crossing into canon wishlist but also fanfic modern AU territory and ALLLLL of my annoyances with how Adora and Catra's friend groups are treated in those. Like how Bow, Glimmer, Scorpia, and Entrapta are supposed to be their BEST FRIENDS but all become irrelevant and straight up absent once Catradora are together. Uhhh...

Okay more about Entrapta, a pet peeve is when people give her Normal Hair. Like, not absolutely insanely long rapunzel hair. Just normal hair. IT'S NOT RIGHT--- i guess people find it hard to draw her hair if they're going for a more realistic style?

I actually like most She-ra art I see though. It's very rare I see something that annoys me. There's not enough fanart posted in this fandom recently for me to have seen something that grinds my gears. All the catradora art is fucking gorgeous. I don't look at nsfw so I have absolutely no thoughts about any weird tropes like I would for other fandoms like AT where the fandom was a lot straighter and drew more demeaning stuff including the girls.

19. You're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

I can hear Kan yelling at me to post Entrapdak under this heading. Fuck you, Entrapdak is great!

I don't have any really wild out there crackships, I don't have any "problematic pairings", but I usually get self conscious and cautious when I post Catrapta, or any Entrapta x a member of BFS stuff, LMAO. Even the normal fluffy stuff but especially the sex headcanon post yesterday with Catrapta. The issue is a lot of the time people are like "she's way older than the others???" and either I have to say "actually, that was a post by a character designer with no evidence in the show--" and I look like an idiot trying to justify something wrong, or I just say "theyre both somewhere in their 20s" and get it over with.

But I ship all of the princesses with each other, I especially think Entrapta x Everyone is fucking hilarious, just go off girl. I'm not ashamed of that per se, it's just some people in this fandom have a stick up their ass with anything that isn't a Certified Canon Pairing.

Now if you want something I do enjoy and am mildly disturbed by that, it's Seadak. Sea Hawk x Hordak. And also x Micah. Just pair the dads together. They have never interacted but isn't it fucking brilliant????

[yahargulian]

HELLOOOO I HAVE WRITING ASKS FOR YOU

6, 8, 13 (drop the music recs!!!), 29, 39 (begging you to tell the people about the blast furnace. if you want!!), 43, 57

ahem i would also like to take this chance to announce that kim is an AMAZING writer (and an amazing person full stop) and everyone should keep your eyes peeled for their fics in the future because whoooy boy their current serennedy wips and ideas are SOOOO GOOD and i’m not even really in the fandom??? but i live for every snippet i’m sent???

hehe please enjoy 💓💓

AAAAA Jamie holy shit.. Bestie you're gonna make me blush aaaa 👉👈

Whenever I do actually get these fics finished and published, everyone go thank Jamie for all his hype and support and for being my fandom screaming buddy adkjhga AND ALSO if you happen to watch a funky little show called KinnPorsche you should go read their fics like! Right the fuck now! And also keep an eye out for new ones in the future because I have also seen snippets of Jamie's wips and ideas and WOWIE is that fandom in for a treat or two. Or several hehe

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

"Unpleasant didn’t quite cut it." Which is from the same extract I answered with here, and is the last line I've written from any of my wips at the moment... But, I'm also gonna give you the last line I've written from the other fic I'm currently working on. As a treat! "Krauser had changed right there beside Leon, and he had never even noticed." I really am just making Leon go through it in two very different ways at the moment ahdgjkhag

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

"And maybe it had fulfilled the purpose for which it was designed, no longer held a practical use to him. But, as he breathed in, he felt its weight soft against his chest. And for a moment he couldn't exhale. A soft warmth bled in his chest; from his lungs, from his heart, from the weight of metal over both. Held. Like a promise. "No," he breathed, finally. Then, surely, "no, nothing." Not all purposes were practical, after all."

13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

I do! But I'm really really awkward about it aghkdgjdakg it depends on the vibe really! Usually music with lyrics distracts me (my brain starts focusing on the lyrics oops) so unless I'm listening to a specific song or songs on loop, I usually listen to video game soundtracks There are some scenes and stuff that call for a specific kind of vibe - or just silence as a last resort if I can't find anything to listen to - but lately I've been listening to boss battle music, of all things. This playlist, to be exact This is my hype music! My 'Getting Shit Done' playlist. I used to listen to a lot of this while doing uni assignments, and have been known to listen to it to do even mundane shit. Like laundry

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

People have told me before that my fics have made them cry, and like. Nothing makes me happier honestly. Again with the emotion think, is anything I've written has ever made someone feel something it's the best thing that could possibly happen. So the fact that something I've written has apparently made people feel something so much that they've cried? Hell yeah I'm proud of that!!

39. What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

Okay no you're right, the blast furnace fic is pretty self indulgent so I will mention it. Basically, Leon and Luis fuck in the blast furnace, right after the fight against the two Gigantes. And this came about because I realised that this would be one of the best times for them to kiss in the main plot (literally like in an action movie) and also that nobody had written them fucking in the blast furnace yet? And once I realised that I realised how obvious it was to get them to fuck in there - and now here I am. So it's very self indulgent because I wanna see it ahdjkahkjgd but also now that I've started it I'm on a mission to make it as visceral an experience as possible! It's gonna be fucking great I'm really excited for it Honestly tho, most if not all of what I write or try to write is self-indulgent in some way. Hell, the key fic I'm working on is super self-indulgent just because it's basically me working through all my feelings about this damn lab key! And what it means and symbolises and what if what if what if. Everything I write is written because I wanna see it and explore it and experience it! It's all self-indulgence babey!

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Answered here but long story short, yes! But hopefully I'll get to them soon hehe I also looked over the 4,000 word pollen wip again after typing my reply to this question and. Yeah. I've definitely gotta finish that one someday my god I forgot how strong the brainworms had got when I started that one ahdgjkahgkd

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Foreshadowing maybe, tho I'm not sure how much I'd say I'm conscious of it rather than.. Because I know where I'm going I try to build up to that. So I guess that would be a yes? Ahsdjhjgkj In terms of symbolism, maybe not as much as I should be? The aforementioned key fic is possibly an exception here because, well. It's literally about the fucking lab key. It's about the symbolism. But generally I'm not conscious about including it - and now this is making me wonder if I do? And if I do, how the fuck and when? Someone please tell me, Jamie please tell me aghdjdahgds

[grasslandgirl]

self indulgent ask but are the creature companions in noble pining at all? boggy, the hangman, etc. also are the werewolves still werewolves or is that interpreted a different way 👀

noble pining is one of the most self indulgent things ive ever written so like. any ask you have dear luka could not be More self indulgent than what i've already written skjnskfbjsnfbsfb

that said !!!! boggy DOES exist in noble pining verse- though in a slightly different context- he's a stuffed animal that adaine got as a child (one that was part of a matching set of three Aelwyn got that she gave the frog one of which to adaine when they were very young children) and it has a bit of plot relevance !!!! :)) unfortch at least at present the hangman isn't in noble pining and neither is Ayda's familar (who's name is escaping me) atm noble pining is INCREDIBLY complicated at the moment and has become increasingly so the more i write it, with lots and lots of characters popping in and out so there hasn't been a ton of space for creature companions <//3

as for werewolves, i started noble pining (again, over three years ago) with the idea that it would be far shorter and less involved than it has become, and i wanted it to be without dnd races and strict classes, so like while there is magic in the np verse they aren't like elves or orcs or goblings etc and so i didn't really think about jawbone and tracker in the sense of their lycanthropy when i started writing np- they've joined the narrative relatively recently- and so they are not werewolves because it felt like. a lot to add into the already kind of loose and awkward world building that's gotten far too large far too fast, if that makes sense?? at the moment there isn't an alternate interpretation for the service their lycanthropy serves in canon- but it's a good idea that i'll probably percolate on and try to find a way to like. have a nod to their canon werewolf status in np if i can fit one !!!! at the moment they're both fairly newly introduced characters and like. are secondary or tertiary at best, so i haven't had a lot of time or space within the story to explore their personal journeys or arcs-- however !! i'm currently working on kristen ch19 which WILL focus at least somewhat on kristen and tracker (at least that's the plan at the moment) so hopefully something will come to me in this chapter to help more fully flesh out jawbone and tracker's characterizations <333

thank uuuuu for the ask darling luka apologies this was SO long of answer fkjbsnbkjsf

[danpuff-ao3]

whichever of 1, 15, 23 you'd like to answer please! for end of the year asks

Hello there! Thanks for asking! 😄 I do so love to ramble chat so I'll answer them all!

1.) favorite fic you wrote this year

This is a tough one! Only because the answer is so clear, in spite of the fact that...I really love a lot of what I wrote this year! Orange Blossoms was self-indulgent fun. In My Veins (In My Blood) was my dead dove dream!

And while my runners up were posted this year, I can rest easy in that I actually wrote them late last year. Black Skies (for Blackcest fest) and A Matter of Time (for Snarry Adopt-a-Prompt.)

So many fics posted this year are ones I love and am so proud of.

But...c'mon. Can my favorite be anything other than Contempt? I talk about it to death, but god. That is literally the story of my soul. Every word is written in my blood. I pulled it straight out my bones. It is the product of years of dreaming, years of headcanons, years of feeling. And it is to date the work I'm most proud of.

And let me tell you I agonized over writing that story. Writing that story was actual hell. But it was 1000% worth the struggle.

15.) something you learned this year

If I'm ever tempted by a fest, that's the devil talking. Fun as they are! And I'm stupidly proud of all the fics I've written for fests. But...on the whole I'm not sure they're worth all of the stress. Cuz yikes.

Also, though...that it's okay to say "no" to things, and to back out of stuff if I have to. I dropped a handful of fests this year and felt super guilty about it, but...it was really good for me! I have to do a better job of recognizing and respecting my own limits. And that it's okay if I can't accomplish a million and one things. It's okay to rest sometimes. And it's good for me to focus on what I want to do, rather than what I "have" to do.

23.) fics you wanted to write but didn’t

Omg so many. I think the ones that really haunt me are Three of Hearts and my Sugar Daddy fic. Last year I made it a goal to have Three of Hearts outlined this year, so...I should work on that! I still have a few weeks left to knock out a decent outline. With luck I can get to the actual writing portion next year.

Sugar Daddy...I started last year, but I've been dealing with the fallout of last year's nonsense all this year, so maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I'm really excited for it, though, so I really hope to focus on it soon!

Also my Dralbus fic, but there's so much history attached to that fic, that I'm not even going to try to pressure myself on getting that one done. My goal is to finish it one day, come hell or high water, but I don't need a deadline for one day.

Truthfully, though, I always have more ideas than I can reasonably keep up with, so it's no surprise I have way too many answers, and always will! 😂

fanfic end of year asks

answered: 1, 15, 23

[northerngoshawk]

3, 18, 46, and 58 for the fanfic writer ask game!

thanks for the ask choco!

3. on a scale of 1-10 how much do you enjoy incorporating romance into the average story?

ooh, good question! i guess it depends on what i'm writing about. for ship-centric fics, i would definitely say a solid 7-10, which should be a given lol. for introspective fics, it could range anywhere between 1-5, depending on how impactful the romantic relationship is to the character being introspective and whether or not that other character even appears in the fic.

just in general tho, i wouldn't say i necessarily enjoy it so much as i do it by necessity. take my Katara-centric series, for example; while the focus is on Katara as a character, her relationship (both romantic and platonic) with Aang sneaks its way in there because it's also integral to Katara's story. on the other hand, my platonic zukaang fic dreamless dreams makes no mention of maiko or kataang, simply because the focus is solely on Aang's and Zuko's platonic relationship. and even my AU fic The Dishonored Blade, which is arguably the most self-indulgent fic i've ever written, has a few mentions of kataang and maiko, but only because it supplements who Aang and Zuko are as characters and their relationships with other characters and each other.

so i guess the best answer i can give is: it all really depends! whatever feels most natural to the story i want to tell, whether it's a fluffy romantic ship or angst-ridden grief or introspective dives into characters, is what i will always go with 😌

18. what is your most and least favorite part of writing?

most favorite part of writing: getting to write that scene, the one that's the reason this fic is being written in the first place. the feeling is always so immaculate 👌

least favorite part of writing: writing the parts i did not properly flesh out in my head and having to rack my brain in order to seamlessly transition from one scene to the next 🥲

46. what time are you the most productive when it comes to writing?

when i'm not drowning in classes/assignments/projects 🥲 but usually that's all that keeps me away from writing, because when i actually have time to sit down and write, i tend to hyperfocus on the fic and hammer it out relentlessly

emphasis on usually

58. what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were writing it?

uhhhh i actually think it was something for The Darkened Path, which is one of my niche au fics. i think i was looking up Tibetan scripts? i wanted to add a detail where Aang's sash was patterned with Tibetan characters when he awakens in the Spirit World, but unfortunately i couldn't do anything with it apart from throw in a small detail in the following paragraph:

He breathed out and glanced down at himself, somewhat surprised to find a saffron sash draped over his torso, leaving his right shoulder and part of his chest bare. The rest of his clothing consisted of yellow cloth that covered the rest of his torso and his pants. On his sash were jagged characters imprinted with gold, and though he couldn’t understand what they meant, they felt… right, somehow. Like they belonged to something that was an undeniable part of him.

i did want to expand upon this further, but the story being told didn't allow for me to do that 🥲 so if nothing else, now you know the characters was the Tibetan script!

ask game for fanfic writers

[kitewithfish]

Wednesday Reading Meme for 10-26-22

What I've Read - Omega Required - Dessa Lux (aka, fanfic writer Dira Sudis) - Werewolf Omegaverse m/m arranged marriage romance novel- I bought this in 2018, read 25% of it and then never picked it up again, because I am a fool. I finished it this week and I found the main couple really quite charming.  Beau wants to be a werewolf doctor to humans, Rory ran away from home at 16 with an older man who promised to take good care of him and has some major trauma around sex. It's careful to show Rory's recovery, tho it's a romance novel so he's improving on a pretty brisk pace. Beau is used taking care of only himself and not asking for help so he makes some fairly stupid (but very in-character!) mistakes around his new job. The resolution is sweet and generally hits the points that think a thoughtful romance ought to. I am probably going to read other things Dira has written - this series has a couple of other books, and this is hitting a self-indulgent spot for me. Good world building around how werewolves would function in the open in the modern world.

Wife to the Marines: A Military Reverse Harem Romance by Krista Wolf (reverse harem het romance, straight woman with three straight men) - Well, this book had some great elements? The sex was fun, the character dynamics were a bit spare (perfectly fine for this genre) but what was there felt engaging, the plot was brisk and both acknowledged the silly elements but made them feel emotionally true to the female lead's internal life. I finished it and at the low price of $1, I feel like I got my money's worth. I have definitely paid more for worse. 

But, oh man, I am too queer for this book. I am just too dang queer for this book. I literally picked this up because I was curious about the reverse harem romance sub-genre (aka, straight woman with multiple male partners, yay!) and wow, this is just - like, do gay people exist in this world? Do ace people? Polyamory is briefly mentioned but not actually engaged with at all, so functionally, nah. Because I just cannot imagine a world where queer people exist and these men are making the life choices they are making about committed relationships to other men, and having sex with the same woman in a committed relationship, and then like, just not talking about the fact that you are in a queer poly relationship. It's just, like, the most hetero and monogamous take possible on a very queer, very poly relationship. It's almost as if it's a het romance where the dude just happens to have three bodies? It's so fucking weird to see a book go so far out of its way to frame this as hetero brothers-in-arms who love each other? Like, the intense military friendship that is actually a romance in disguise is literally a gay cliche - this one is ours, straight people. 

Also, massive trigger warnings for eating disorders shit (the woman is a trainer and runs a youtube channel where she makes "health food" recipes, constantly breaks food into good or bad categories, calorie counting, talks in detail about the weight loss plans of her clients, none of it needed) and also, uh, military kink?  using the American invasion of Afghanistan as a neutral-to-justified backdrop for a personal vendetta? (Dudes, is it gay to avenge the death of your boyfriend's brother under the cover of a legitimate Marine mission while you lie to him and keep him out of the loop, safe at home with your other shared boyfriend and girlfriend?) This was a compellingly written novel full of sympathetic depictions of people who I would not ever want to have a drink with!

What I'm Reading

A Taste of Gold and Iron - Alexandra Rowland - A re-read for my book club. So sweet, so queer, so fun. Deeply good worldbuilding.

Thrawn: Treason - Timothy Zahn - Getting fun and brisk with this one! 55% in.  Hunting Towards Heartstill - Blackkat - Star Wars Clone Wars Cartoon au - marriage of convenience, fake marriage, Mace Windu/Cody - Slowing down because we're crash landed on an abandoned Sith planet and I'm watching Mace be annoyed at Anakin and, well, he's very annoying! I'm going to try and buckle down and get some more under my belt so that I can actually just get past this part. I got stuck here last time too.

Stay With Me, Go Places - cac0daemonia-  https://archiveofourown.org/works/39540420 - "After months of living a quiet, peaceful life on Ryloth, Waxer and Boil must don their armor again. What begins as a rescue operation in conjunction with a bounty hunter becomes a journey that the Force itself seems to have a hand in." - I am really enjoying this ongoing series, the Reconstruction Corps AU, which posits that a fairly minor change in the Clone Wars plot around the clones control chips allowed the Jedi to stop Darth Sideous and save the galaxy and allow clones like Waxer and Boil to retire to little backwaters and build themselves a community. 

What I'll Read Next

2312 - Kim Stanley Robinson - Book club pick, long one, too! Bought it since we're probably splitting it up over six weeks Library books: Our Wives Under the Sea - Julia Armfield Maul: Lockdown - Joe Schreiber  The Whale Rider -Witi Ihimaera  Tiger's Daughter - K Arsenault Rivera  Riot Baby - Rochi Onyeuchi The Silence of the Wilting Skin - Tlotlo Tsamaase  An Unkindness of Ghosts - Rivers Solomon

Libby:  Truth of the Divine - Lindsay Ellis Devil House - John Darnelle   

[sternbilder]

Camille Has Many KDrama Thoughts

As some of you have possibly noticed, I have recently fallen into a KDrama hole and I can’t get up, and I have just finished my 10th drama, which seems like less of an accomplishment than I thought now that I say it out loud, but anyway,

As a checkpoint/thinly veiled plug of some shows I love very much, here is a very long post with some of my thoughts on all the KDramas I’ve seen so far, as well as what’s next on my list, in case you too were interested in joining me in nonexistent fandom hell!

So firstly, all of the dramas I have watched to completion, in the order of how much I like them. First, my top five:

1. Sungkyunkwan Scandal (2010). My #1 favorite drama to date. I’ve probably watched it in full 4-5 times, and it’s still an absolute treat every time. Is it the best drama I’ve ever seen? Probably not. But it’s so fun and charming that it’s just gotta be at the top of my list. 

The best way I can describe this drama is Ouran High School Host Club, except in Joseon era Korea, and instead of flirting with girls the main characters learn about Confucianism and solve mysteries and play sports (twice) and end up accidentally involved in a complicated political scandal. Also, that one text post about how Shang from Mulan is bi because he falls for Mulan while he thinks she’s a man...This drama has that, except actually canon. And while I won’t pretend this is show is a shining beacon of representation, there are multiple main characters who are explicitly not heterosexual and several others with very plausible queer readings, which earns it a very special place in my heart.

As for the actual premise of the show, it’s basically about a wonderfully determined and kind and clever but lower-class girl whose writing skills catch the eye of the most stubbornly strait-laced but idealistic aspiring politician-type on the planet. She ends up getting a one-way ticket to the most prestigious school in the country, except she has to pretend to be a man the entire time because women aren’t allowed to be educated at this time. 

It’s a bit of a silly, cheesy show, and here are many wacky shenanigans, but the main cast is full of incredibly highly endearing and multifaceted characters, there is a lot of sexual confusion, the slowburn roommate romance has an incredible payoff, and it’s also full of deeply moving social commentary about class, privilege, and gender roles. This drama is a blast and I could go on and on about what I love about it, I absolutely adore it to pieces.

2. Six Flying Dragons (2015-2016). I debated between this and Tree With Deep Roots (next on my list, to which SFD is a prequel) as my #2 but I do think I want to place SFD higher just because it's the drama that I keep thinking about even after finishing it. of course, it has the dual advantages of 1) being released chronologically later (and having better production value, etc., because of this) and 2) being twice as long, but there’s just so much stuff to unpack with SFD that it makes me want to keep coming back to it. 

The show is about the founding of the Joseon dynasty, and six individuals (half of whom are based on real historical figures and half fictional) whose lives are closely tied to the fall of the old regime and the revolution that brought in the new. It has an intricate, intensely political plotline based on the actual events that happened during this time, and though this may sound kind of boring if you’re like me and not super into history (admittedly, the pacing in the beginning is a tiny bit slow), it quickly picks up and becomes this dense web of character relations and political maneuvering. Though none of the major events should come as a surprise if you’ve seen TWDR or if you happen to already know the history it was based on, the show adds such a depth of humanity and emotion to every event and character that nothing ever feels boring or predictable. As a matter of fact, there are several events that were alluded to in TWDR that, when they actually happened in SFD, left me breathless--because although I 100% knew these were foregone conclusions that were coming up at some point, I still had a visceral moment of, “oh no, so that’s how that came to happen.” 

But though I really enjoyed following the story of SFD and learning about the history behind it, the highlight of the show for me is definitely the great character arcs. I loved TWDR’s characters, too (especially Yi Do, So Yi, and obviously Moo Hyul), but with double the episode count SFD just has so much time for rich, dynamic character development, and I absolutely loved seeing how these characters grew and changed over time when their ideologies and fates collided in this turbulent and violent age: How young and ambitious Yi Bang Won eventually spiraled into a ruthless tyrant, how the naive and kind-hearted Moo Hyul struggled to retain his humanity in a bloody revolution that challenged his values and loyalties to the core, how the fiercely determined and idealistic Boon Yi grew into a pragmatic and capable leader who comes to realize what politics and power mean for her and her loved ones. 

SFD was also everything I wanted as a prequel to TWDR--I loved seeing the contrasts between some of the TWDR characters and their younger selves in the SFD timeline: The hardened and ruthless Bang Won as a passionate and righteous adolescent, the cynical and resigned Bang Ji as a cowardly boy who grows into a traumatized and bitter young man, and my personal favorite character, the comically serious bodyguard Moo Hyul as the very model of the dopey, lovable himbo archetype. And though the ending was controversial among fans (particularly those who watched SFD first), I loved how it closed all the loops and tied it back to the events of TWDR, both providing that transition I wanted but also recontextualizing and adding new meaning to the original work. I think it's still a very good drama on its own, but this hand-off is what really sealed the deal for me personally, because it was not only super emotionally satisfying to watch how the stories connected, but it elevated TWDR to something even greater (suggesting that Yi Do and the events of TWDR was the culmination of everything the six dragons fought so long and hard for), which is exactly what I expect from a good prequel. 

I’ve already talked so much about this drama but I also do need to mention that the soundtrack to SFD is A+, and the sword fights are sick as hell. There is also some romance, though it’s not really a focus--and all the pairings that do exist are extremely tragic, which is exactly up my alley. Overall, this is a hell of a historical drama, coming of age, villain origin story, and martial arts film in one, and I highly recommend it.

3. Tree With Deep Roots (2011). The sequel to SFD, though it aired first chronologically. Although this show isn’t one of those shows that I could rewatch once a year like SKKS or keep ruminating on like SFD, TWDR (much like Les Mis, or Fata Morgana) is thematically the kind of story that just makes my heart sing.

The story centers around the creation of Hangul, the Korean alphabet, by Yi Do (a.k.a., King Sejong the Great, who is the son and successor of Yi Bang Won, the main character of SFD) as well as two fictional childhood friends whose backstories and ambitions become central to the story of how and why this alphabet came to exist. Not only is the actual process of creating this alphabet absolutely fascinating from a linguistic and scientific POV, but the show dramatizes Yi Do’s motivations in a way that’s so incredibly touching and human--portraying the king as a soft-hearted and extremely charismatic yet fundamentally flawed and conflicted figure who tries so desperately to do right by his people. 

The show explores both a number of personal themes like redemption, atonement, and vengeance, as well as broader societal themes such as the ethics of authority, the democratization of knowledge, and the power of language and literacy. Though the show never forgets to remind the audience of the bitter reality of actual history, it’s still a deeply idealistic show whose musings on social change and how to use privilege and power to make the world better are both elegant and poignant. 

Romance definitely takes a backseat in TWDR, even more so than SFD, though this isn’t something I personally mind. There are, however, a lot of interesting politics surrounding the promulgation of the alphabet, including a string of high-profile assassinations--if SFD is historical/political-thriller-meets-action-film, then TWDR is historical/political-thriller-meets-murder-mystery, and it’s an incredibly tightly written and satisfying story whose pieces fall into place perfectly. Though not the sprawling epic that SFD is, TWDR is an emotional journey and an extremely well-written story with a TON of goodies if you’re as excited about linguistics as I am. 

4. White Christmas (2011). My first non-sageuk on this list! White Christmas is, in a lot of ways, an odd drama. It’s an 8-episode special, and featured largely (at the time) new talent. it’s also neither a historical work nor romance-focused, but instead a short but intense psychological thriller/murder mystery. 

The premise is this: Seven students at a super elite boarding school tucked away in the mountains receive mysterious black letters that compel them to remain on campus during the one vacation of the year. The letters describe various “sins” that the author accuses the students of committing, as well as the threat of a “curse” as well as an impending death. The students quickly find that they’re stranded alone at the school with a murderer in their midst, as they are forced to confront their shared histories and individual traumas to figure out 1) why they’ve been sent the letters, and 2) how to make it out alive. At the center of the survival game the characters find themselves in is a recurring question: “Are monsters born, or can they be made?”

If you’ve been following me for a while, it’s easy to see why I was drawn to this drama. In terms of setup and tone, it’s Zero Escape. In theme, it’s Naoki Urasawa’s Monster. It’s Lord of the Flies meets Dead Poets Society. or as one of my mutuals swyrs@ put it, Breakfast Club meets Agatha Christie. The story is flawlessly paced with not a scene wasted. There’s so much good foreshadowing and use of symbolic imagery, and though I’ve watched it at least 3-4 times, I always find interesting new details to analyze. The plot twists (though not so meta-breaking as ZE) are absolutely nuts, and aside from the somewhat questionable ending, the story is just really masterfully written.

Above all, though, WC is excellent for its character studies. Though I typically tend to stay away from shows that center around teenagers because I don’t find their struggles and experiences particularly relatable, WC does such an excellent job of picking apart every character psychologically, showing their traumas, their desires, their fears, and their insecurities. We see these kids at their most violent and cruel, but also their most vulnerable and honest. Their stories and motivations are so profoundly human that I found even the worst and most despicable characters painfully sympathetic at times, as cowardly and hypocritical and unhinged as they became. 

Like I said, it’s only 8 episodes long with probably the best rewatch value on this list. My only complaints about it are its ending, as well as its relative lack of female characters, but otherwise I would absolutely recommend.

5. Signal (2016). Okay, this might be the recency bias talking because I just finished this series but I'm sure but I'm still reeling at the mind-screw of an ending and I feel like it deserves a place on this spot just for that.

Signal is a crime thriller based on a number of real-life incidents that happened in Korea in the last 30 or so years. In short, a young profiler from the year 2015, who has a grudge against the police after witnessing their incompetence and corruption twice as a child, happens to find a mysterious walkie-talkie that seems to be able to send and receive messages from the past. on the other end is an older detective from 2000 who tells him that he’s about to start receiving messages from his younger self, back in 1989. Through the seemingly sporadic radio communications, the two men work together to solve a series of cold cases, which begin to change the past and alter the timeline.

As they solve these cases, expose corruption within the police department, and correct past injustices, the two men (along with a third, female detective who has connections to both of them) also begin to unravel the mysteries of their pasts, as well as why and how they came to share this connection.

Like WC, the story and pacing of this drama were flawless, reminding me of an extended movie rather than a TV series. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and the 16-episode run went by in no time at all. I always love timeline shenanigans and explorations of causality and fate and the consequences of changing the past, and this show has oodles of that peppered with the heartbreakingly tragic human connections and stories that the main characters share. The main pairing has great chemistry and gave me exactly the pain I crave from a doomed timeline romance, and the cinematography and soundtrack were also beautiful, which also contributed to the polished, cinema-like feel.

My only complaint is that I wish that the ending felt more like an ending, such that the drama could stand on its own. I do realize this is because there’s a second season coming, but right now the show feels somewhat incomplete, ending on a huge, ambiguous cliffhanger/sequel hook and with several loose ends. I obviously can’t give a final verdict until the entire thing airs (and I typically don’t like multi-season shows, so I will wait for the next season to come out both reluctantly and begrudgingly), but even where the show leaves off I still did enjoy it immensely.

...And now, some brief thoughts on the other 5 shows I’ve watched, because I ran out of steam and have less to say about these:

6. Healer (2014-2015). It’s been a few years since I’ve seen this show, but I remember being really impressed by this drama at the time, especially the storyline. Unfortunately though I don’t remember too much about the drama itself, which is a shame. It’s a mystery/thriller, I think, and there is hacking and crimes involved? The main character is a very cute and sweet tabloid writer and she falls in love with a mysterious and cool action boy who helps her uncover the truth behind a tragic incident that relates to her past, or something. Judging from my liveblog it seems like this was an extremely emotional journey, and I enjoyed the main couple (who are both very attractive) a lot, and it was just overall a cathartic and feel-good experience. I feel like I should rewatch this drama at some point?

7. Rooftop Prince (2012). It’s also been forever since I watched this show but I remember thinking it was hilarious and delightful and I definitely cried a lot though I do not remember why (probably something something time travel, something something reincarnation/fated lovers??). I do remember that the premise is that a Joseon-era prince and several of his servants accidentally time travel into modern-day Seoul and end up meeting the main character who is the future reincarnation of his love (?) and he is hilariously anachronistic and also insufferably pretentious, which the MC absolutely does not cut him any slack for, and they have an extremely good dynamic.

8. Coffee Prince (2007). I watched this around the same time as Rooftop Prince and I remember really enjoying it! it’s basically just SKKS, but the modern cafe AU, and I mean that in the best way possible? It definitely shares a lot of the same tropes--crossdressing/tomboy female lead, sexually questioning male lead who falls in love with her despite being “straight,” very good chemistry and also extremely charming secondary characters.

9. Shut Up Flower Boy Band (2012). This show...Was just OK. I enjoyed it at the time, but I can’t say I found it particularly memorable. As I said, I don’t typically find stories about high school students particularly relatable, and the battle of the bands-type plot was interesting enough at the time but didn’t really leave a lasting impression. As expected, the music was pretty good. I kind of watched this mostly to hear Sung Joon sing tbh?

10. Rebel: Thief Who Stole the People (2017). I wanted to like this show. I really did. I wouldn’t say it was bad, but the beginning was painfully slow, and I only really enjoyed the last 10 episodes or so, when the vive la révolution arc finally started kicking off. The pacing was challenging--the pre-timeskip dragged on about twice as long as it needed to, and I just wasn’t really interested in the Amogae/Yiquari storyline very much. I also really, really disliked all the romances in the show, especially the main pairing, since I didn’t particularly love either the male or the female leads until pretty late in the show. Overall I think I would have enjoyed the show more if the first 2/3 of it was about half as long, and it either developed the romance better or cut it out altogether.

What I’m thinking of watching next:

1. Chuno (2010). Mostly because the soundtrack to this show is so goddamn good, but also because I’m craving more historical dramas with good sword fights after SFD. I was kind of hoping Rebel would fill that need but I was a little disappointed tbh?

2. Warrior Baek Dong Soo (2011). Same reasons as above, honestly. also has a very good soundtrack, and Ji Chang Wook, who is a known nice face-haver, doing many very cool sword fights.

3. Mr. Sunshine (2018). Late Joseon era is something I’ve never really seen before in media so I’m pretty intrigued? Also Byun Yo Han was one of my favorites from SFD and I definitely want to see him in more things.

4. Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung (2019). A coworker recommended this to me and the trailer looks delightful. first of all it’s a sageuk with the gorgeous and talented Shin Se Kyoung in it playing a smart and plucky female lead, which have historically been extremely good to me, but also it gives me massive SKKS vibes, so how could I not.

5. My Country: The New Age (2019). This caught my attention because it’s based on the same historical events as SFD, so it features some of the same characters. I am very very interested in Jang Hyuk’s take on Yi Bang Won, even if he is less of a main character here compared to SFD, and he’s already an adult so he’ll already be well on his way to bastardhood. I also hear it’s very heartbreaking, which is instant eyes emoji for me?

6. Chicago Typewriter (2017). It’s about freedom fighters from the colonization era, which I’m very intrigued by after The Handmaiden and Pachinko, plus a reincarnation romance. I am very predictable in my choice of tropes. Also, Yoo Ah In is in it.

7. Arthdal Chronicles (2019-). Ok, it’s a gorgeous-looking historical fantasy set in Korea written by the same writers as TWDR and SFD, plus it has not just one but TWO Song Joong Ki characters, one of which is a pure, doe-eyed soft boy and the other an evil long-haired fae prince looking asshole who I hear is a complete and utter Unhinged Bastard Supreme. Nothing has ever been more Camille Bait than this, but unfortunately this show hasn’t finished airing, which does pain me deeply. speaking of,

8. Kingdom (2019-). It’s a fantasy sageuk with zombies, is about the extent I know about this show. The fact that it also hasn’t finished airing turns me off a bit but it looks absolutely gorgeous and I also just found out it was written by the same writer as Signal, so,,,,,,,,,

9. Gunman in Joseon (2014). I honestly don’t expect too much from this drama but I just enjoy its premise a lot? From what I understand it’s just Percy from Critical Role, but make it Joseon era.......Like, they just straight up took a Shadow the Hedgehog, “let’s make a sageuk, but guns,” approach, and I kind of unironically love that. Also the soundtrack kicks ass, which like...you can really see where my priorities lie here, huh,

10. Misaeng (2014). I don’t remember at this point why this is on my list but I found it in the Keep note I have of all the media I want to watch?? I have no idea what this show is about, except that it takes place in an office. Apparently Byun Yo Han is also in this one? I’m sorry this is the only non-sageuk or sageuk-adjacent show in this list, I know what I’m about, and it’s fancy old-timey costumes and cool braids.