#this is what i mean when i say i hate being palatable

[heyitslapis]

Yall dont even know just how well-behaved i am DAILY at work! its like having two jobs at once! like im an undercover person who is put in a room with intolerable people very opposite of me in every way & is forced to play pretend & be niceys or else i dont get my prize at the end (clocking out & getting a paycheck)

[scourgethewhorehog]

tbh too many of you hashtag actually autistic bitches sound like dr aspergers favorite patients when you talk about other autistic ppl except instead of just calling "less functional" autistic ppl the r slur you call them lazy abnormal weird freaky etc and accuse them of insane shit bc they cant keep up w whatever innane social expectations that only exist on the internet even if theyre NOT HURTING ANYONE or being unkind to you or they struggle to get a job / self care / etc and you Swear it totally cant be related to autism because they seem Fine enough to execute it on here because of course how someone acts sitting at their computer in a controlled enviornment where you arent as likely to be overstimulated in predictable areas of the internet is indicative of how they must respond to situations in the real real life. please be kinder to people you dont exist day to day with and cant possibly understand the struggles of good lord.

[codename-adler]

i’m so scared shitless the way aftg fandom is reacting towards nora sakavic and TSC leads to her just… abandoning the project and not publishing anything ever again. why so much vehement hate and rage? why are you still here if you cannot tolerate her or her writing?

mistakes were made in canon aftg. not everything is perfect, not everything is greatly represented. so? it’s been ten years. was the author intentionally insensitive? intentionally hurtful? no. and that’s what matters. she’s been gone for god knows how long, because social media has been bad, and she’s right. good for her.

but some of you are already burning her at the stake before anything has come out. some of you have been spitting on her and her work for years. can’t a person grow up? can’t a person change? can’t an author change and do better?

nora sakavic is out there on twitter x defending palestine. i think that’s much more impactful and meaningful than some much more influential celebrities. and i think it’s very telling on her as a person.

i believe in her. i admire her, and respect her, and appreciate her. the same goes for her work. i wouldn’t be here without her and aftg, and i can never deny that, turn my back on that, forget that, and why would i even want to?

it’s not bad authorship. it’s not bad writing. it’s not bad media. it’s a story about fucked up people for fucked up people. nothing about that is going to be smooth or polished nor palatable to and approved by all. it shouldn’t be.

listen, i’ve got my own disagreements with some things in canon and EC. and? they’re just that. personal disagreement. i’ve got no right to tell an author that her writing and ideas are shit when they have consumed me every waking day, have boosted my creativity, my writing, helped me make long-lasting friends.

nora sakavic isn’t a poor fragile thing by any means, but she has spoken about social media not being good for her mental health. she has told us. we know. we know she sees our stuff. we know our stuff affects her. it’s not hard to get.

i’m not telling anyone to let go of their opinions and negative emotions. i’m saying that respect must prevail. that’s all.

[psychoticallytrans]

I believe very strongly that if you want to be an ally to marginalized groups, you should absolutely read and watch material bigoted against them.

This is because one of the big things that radicalization pipelines benefit from is the principle I've seen framed as "milk before meat", where they feed you palatable, easily digestible ideas, often with a kernel of truth, in order to work you up to the core of the bigoted ideology. If you go to the meat first, you will choke on it. This will make you more easily able to spot it when they try to feed you the milk, and more resistant because you know the meat it's building up to.

There are two keys. First, you need to start with the meat, and second, you need to read it with a sharply critical eye.

If you're looking to read something fatphobic, for example, Harry Potter may be a great mainstream example, but it's in a way that is so culturally acceptable that it can slip by if you aren't looking for it. "None For You: How Fat People Are Ruining America and the Planet and What You Can Do About It", on the other hand, is rather obvious in its biases, allowing an amateur to see them clearly for easier interrogation of the premise. Most bigoted material can be acquired by piracy or through your local library. This is one of the big reasons that libraries stock bigoted material.

Then, start noting down all of the things that the material says that seem to make sense, or that you are sure are true. There's no shame in this. Bigoted ideas are ingrained in your upbringing, and on top of this, a lot of bigots will take real problems and build on them in ways that are bigoted.

For instance, anti-immigrant sentiment in the USA is often bolstered by the fact that wages in the USA are effectively decreasing, along with job security. They say that this is because immigrants are taking the jobs, decreasing the amount of value that is available to USAmericans. To a USAmerican who does not know much about immigrants, but does know that their paycheck buys less and less, this sounds like a plausible explanation.

Then, later, look up exactly what they are saying. What are the real issues? (Racism and unchecked capitalism.) Why are they being used to bolster this argument? (Because it takes the heat off of powerful people and puts it on powerless ones, redirecting the hate to people it can more easily hurt, which satisfies the rage of the USAmerican, drives a wedge between them and immigrants, and takes heat off of the powerful.) What are real ways to tackle the real issue? (Solidarity with immigrant workers, especially undocumented ones, unions, and working for better social safety nets.) Why did I fall for that? (You did not have enough information.) Can I notice this rhetoric in the future and avoid falling for it? (Yes.)

Know that many of the ideas you encounter will be normal. Much bigotry is normal. Normal is not automatically good or right.

Know that there will be useful ideas interspersed with some bigotry. A lot of people with useful ideas have been bigots. This does not mean we must discard their ideas, nor that we must accept the bigotry. It does mean that we need to critically examine the ideas to see if they are rooted in and/or affected by the bigotry, and if it is possible to effectively remove them from their bigoted origins, or if the bigotry is so wound into the ideas that they is no longer useful if you wish to avoid harming the group the thinker was bigoted against.

This is difficult work to do. It is intellectually intensive, and emotionally exhausting. You will start seeing bigotry in all kinds of places, including media you thought of as "good" and "progressive", and that will also be emotionally exhausting and dispiriting. It will also mean that you are no longer passively absorbing those bigoted ideas because you settled on the idea that this media is "good" and that as long as you only consume "good" media, you will be free of bigoted ideas- a premise that is disturbingly popular for how incorrect it is. Knowing how to recognize and discard bigotry in works is far, far more useful than flatly refusing to consume more overtly bigoted works.

One way to make it easier is to form reading groups, so that you can lean on each other when reading something that's affecting you badly. It also means that there's more than one person processing the bigotry, so other people might notice more subtle parts of the bigotry that slipped past you in your own reading, allowing you to have a fuller picture of the book. If you can't form a reading group, more famous bigoted works often have criticism available online for you to read through. Remember to do your own research. What makes doing this so valuable is increasing your own ability to detect bigotry and to think critically about material you are consuming.

You do not have to limit yourself to traditional media, either. There are forums and social media bubbles that are hotbeds of bubbling, seething bigotry that is more extreme and repugnant than the vast majority of published work. Reading these conversations can be useful for the exact same reasons that reading overtly bigoted books, articles, letters, and essays can be, and they often contain more up to date dogwhistles. However, this is a riskier move. Social media is built to make you keep scrolling, and you can easily find yourself at your wits end and vulnerable to a bigot whose rhetoric is slightly less obvious than the others. In addition, it can be tempting to interact- at which point the bigots will either attack you or try to recruit you, both of which are damaging to you. Only read the conversations of bigots if you are well supported and have strong impulse control, and read them in small doses.

You are not immune to propaganda, but you can partially inoculate yourself into being less vulnerable by consuming it in controlled circumstances that match your ability to recognize it as such and reject it.

[proposalanonaita]

FINE.

The date is fast approaching (seven and a half weeks left), I've had sufficient quantities of Malbec, and I'm realizing that whoever suggested that writing my vows would be MUCH more harrowing than talking about my feelings to internet nobodies.....had a fair point; I should at least attempt to put it all to words before I write the real drafts.

Ugh.

I should probably start by stating that I'm WELL aware of who I am. Rest assured, I know that I'm stunningly abrasive. And controlling. And petty, conniving, misanthropic, or whatever other adjectives you've been calling me in the tags (yes, I DID read those, and it IS weird of so many of you to be calling for my divorce. I thought you were supposed to be nicer than I am?).

All this to say, I've always been cognizant of being an acquired taste. Partly because I've always BEEN an acquired taste. I tone it down in public, and in most of my personal relationships, but I am, down to my core, a Mean Mother Fucker.

With partners before my fiancé, I had to make myself more palatable to stay together. The men I dated were FAR too nice, and snipping with them at all felt like I was a heavyweight champion facing off against a toddler. So I reigned it in. It worked, but no matter how well things were going on paper, I didn't feel like I was myself with any of them.

I was even less myself with The Shithead. I'm NOT getting into the entirety of that particular tire fire here, you little freaks already know FAR too much about me and I won't have you tagging the gory details of the worst part of my life with #bob the builder/fuzzy wuzzy or whatever you're into.

He was horrible to me, I turned dangerously timid, I'm lucky I had enough Mean left in me to get the fuck out. He's changed enough by now that I considered inviting him to the wedding, it was bad enough back then I'm very glad I didn't. Enough said.

...I'm talking quite a bit up here because I still hate having to say any of the next part. Call me an emotionless villain for that if you want to, I am far too employed and 30 to care very much.

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

So.

The thing is, there are people that KNOW me, and there are people who LIKE me. My parents know me, and I've never doubted they love me, but that's not LIKING me as a person. That's a contractual obligation of birthing me. My friends like me, some even like me when I'm catty, but I need to be careful to hold myself back, at the risk of losing them. At best, people loved "me", not ME.

For decades, this was just the way the world was. It was a fact of life- The sky is blue, I'm secretly unlovable, the Earth goes around the sun.

And then, against all odds, I found my fiancé, who manages to do both.

He sees ALL of me. Every square inch, every fleeting thought, every horrible little quirk of my rotten personality. And THEN, as if that weren't bad enough, he turns around and ENJOYS it all. He's not just tolerant of my least palatable traits, he's delighted. The more I show him, the more he likes.

It's awful. I'd say he stole my heart, but that sounds too pleasant. It's more like my heart is a cockroach he could squish at any moment, and I trust him not to, and I'm just supposed to wake up every morning and do the dishes and go to work as if this doesn't mean we're clearly orbiting Saturn. The sky is PURPLE now. What the fuck.

He could at least do me the favor of being completely, 100% perfect, because then I could blame his total lapse in judgement on that, but NO. He's a BASTARD.

I'm engaged to a big sweaty idiot who annoys me on purpose. He's terrible with his money. He tries to take me on HIKES, and JOGS, and CAMPING TRIPS. His taste in every single art form known to man is GARBAGE, he's constantly leaving his dirty socks on the floor, and he's such a bad driver I'm amazed he still has a license.

I've told him all of that to his face, and I've MEANT it, and he's just called me a bitch and asked me what I want for dinner. He knows that I'm unlovable, agrees that all those parts of me are in here, and then loves me anyway.

He loves me. He LOVES me. He loves ME.

I don't know what I'm meant to do with it all, but there's clearly SOMETHING wrong with his brain, so I guess I'll have to keep him, if only for his sake.

[autisticsupervillain]

Autistic Avatars not realizing that they're Avatars because they're just "like that": a thread

The Eye

Special Interest in the supernatural = constant food for The Watcher

You know about Interest? TELL ME EVERYTHING

"Hey man listen to me infodump about this horrifying ghost story I read for twenty minutes, alright?"

I need to Know everything about something before I partake in it.

"How did I Know that? Eh, I probably hyperfixated on it at some point."

I cannot be misunderstood so I'll beam the facts into your brain.

The Web

I must plan everything 200 steps in advance before doing anything.

I have prepared for all possible outcomes, I can now have this one conversation.

If I set up all these variables long in advance, then I can do everything correctly and Win the social interaction.

I cannot do anything before The Plan says to.

"I practice my social skills by talking to my spider friends." -Martin "Autism" Blackwood

The Stranger

I cannot socialize without being Uncanny.

If my socialization seems like an act, that's because it is. I practice it in the mirror every day.

Theater Kid

How do you Normal Human?

The Anatomy Class.

Assuming fellow Stranger Avatars also just have the 'Tism. They're not trying to be creepy, honest.

Can't do faces. Doesn't notice when you get replaced.

Being subtly off is too subtle for me.

The Lonely

"I have failed the social interaction. Let the fog reclaim me."

Talking to people is draining my batteries even faster than ever. I need to be alone for approximately 384,400,000 years.

Nothing can overstimulate me in the cool, blinding fog.

Nothing unpredictable can happen in the fog.

The fog is your friend.

The known connection between autism and depression feeds the fog.

The Dark

Why is the sun so god damn bright? I'm going to blow it up I swear.

Night Owl.

Everything's decently quite at night and people leave you alone.

Same overstimulation preventatives as the Lonely tbh. Dark and fog are good concealers.

The dawn is your enemy.

The dread florescent lights shall never bother me again. They break upon my arrival.

Can and will infodump to the monster under my bed. Even now it feels like it listens.

The Spiral

Autism makes getting other mental illnesses recognized hard.

Autism dissociation from body and mind. When did it become 3 AM and why do I hurt? Why am I grumpy? What vital self care task did I forget?

Literal mind doesn't often match reality. Reality is specifically unspecific.

Spaced out and wandered off. Where the fuck am I?

I'm not a mental baby, please stop treating me like it.

I'm not inherently dangerous, please stop treating me like it.

Memory problems my beloathed. Did that happen? I dunno.

What Is Time?

What Is Me?

The Gender

Why do things only make sense to me? What does no one else make sense?

The Flesh

Autism Genderfuckery = Flesh fueled dysphoria.

Meat is the only texture that's palatable. Especially the Mystery Meat.

Will never try any other foods. Too picky.

Infodumps about the horrors of meat processing at dinner and ruins the meal for everyone. More steak for me.

Hates PETA.

Double the arms means double the stim. You weren't using them, right?

Working out is a great stim.

The Corruption

Practices social interaction with the bugs who live in my walls.

"Insects are disgusting. I love them!"

Will protect endangered insects by any means necessary.

According to all known laws of aviation-

Relationship boundaries struggles.

Difficulty noticing sickness symptoms.

Is that nausea or am I overstimulated? *Accidentally causes supernatural plague outbreak*

Difficulty getting diseases diagnosed because of both Autism and noticing too many symptoms so the doctors assume they're faking.

Forgot vital hygiene needs.

The Bugs Are My Friends! They keep me company when I'm sick!

The Buried

Weighted blankets are insufficient, I need the Earth to reclaim me.

Avoid social interaction by tunneling everywhere like a mole.

101 facts about worms.

Forgor hygiene again. Time to become dirt.

Digging a hole is good stimming.

That guy who had to be buried alive to sleep properly. What do you mean you don't want to be buried?

The End

Aradia Megido from Homestuck.Com

That's it, that's the list.

The Desolation

The Autism Temper.

Losing relationships and friendships to ableism and your own disability constantly.

The Fire is a wonderful stim board. Watch it crinkle.

Just watching candles melt for hours.

The fire and thrill gives my life passion again.

Jude Perry.png

The Vast

Accidentally terrifying people by infodumping about the horrors of nature.

The stimulus of falling.

Nature/Space/Weather Documentary on in background always.

Okay, but from how high did you fall? I want to calculate your velocity as you fell through the void.

Weirdly enough... power scaling?

Power scaling is just the art of determining how easily your favorite characters can destroy mankind so... yeah, I can see it.

Brain empty, only terminal velocity.

The Hunt

Cat Autism

The inherent hyperfocus of the hunt. The chase. Your prey.

Studying the habits of your latest hyperfixation/Hunt assigned prey for days at a time.

I've spent so much time hunting in the woods that I forgot about human society. The Missing Person's Bureau have written you off for dead.

Returning to society to sell your wears and realizing you aren't human anymore.

That's okay. Social interaction is random. The Hunt makes sense.

It's black and white. Predator and prey. Humans hunting monsters. It Makes Sense.

The Slaughter

The incredible human WW1 documentary.

"Did you know?" *Describes horrible historic warcrime*

Takes apart puts back together guns from their collection.

The list of known casualties from this war is incomplete. With my help, they can expand it. :)

The Extinction

The world is spiraling towards its end and only you seem to care.

It hurts to be this passionate about a lost cause.

You Will Make Them Care.

[gabessquishytum]

Chef Hob is catering Morpheus Endless's wedding to Alex Burgess and he's not really happy about it, but Dream is Hob's best friend and even if he won't listen to Hob that the marriage is a bad. idea!! Hob will do his part to make it a happy event. 😬

Dream won't even tell Hob why he has to go through with his parents dumb "arranged" marriage; Dream has never liked Alex Burgess (when they were kids, they never thought Alex was anything but lame; and it's not like Alex became scintillating as he grew up!).

And (in the privacy of an empty room) Hob will admit that he is in love with his best friend and that might have a little (🤏🏽) to do with his absolute aversion to Dream marrying anyone (else). But if he was happy or in love, Hob would be the first to be celebrating for and with his Dream (sad for himself, but so happy for Dream). But Dream is not!

Dream is miserable - he hates to suit he has to wear (if he was getting married to Ho the love of his life, he would be wearing a dress); he hates the venue; he hates all the people that are invited; he hates the decorations & colors; he hates the necessity of marrying Alex.

The only thing Dream got to choose was having Hob cater - Hob is a fantastic man chef. And was an "acceptable" choice for an Endless wedding, at least according to Dream's mother.

Everyone, Hob, everyone, is trying to get him to not go through with this wedding, but they don't know what Dream knows. He doesn't have a choice if he wants to keep the people he loves safe.

Maybe he can steal a moment with Hob before the wedding starts.

Listen. This is incredible. I have so many thoughts about this.

Hob knows that something is up (he's not as dumb as he looks, thanks very much Mrs Endless). There's not a whole lot he can do, sure, but being a chef does mean that he has access to certain dangerous weapons and, of course, poisonous substances. So when Dream does finally get a word with Hob at the very last moment, Hob is holding a steak knife and he's like "okay, okay. you might have to go through with the ceremony, but the reception? the reception is where this whole thing ends." Dream tries to persuade Hob that he can't murder Alex at the wedding reception for like, a billion reasons, but it's time for the wedding and Dream has to admit that he doesn't want to persuade Hob out of the murder plan all that much.

The wedding is awful. Hob knows how much Dream hates everything about it. But it's okay, it'll all be over soon and maybe some day Dream can have another wedding that he actually enjoys (Hob isn't planning that far ahead but he loves Dream SO much okay).

And yeah. It's a huge tragedy. First Alex starts choking on a bit of the wedding cake. People try to save him but it's already too late! How awful! And you wouldn't believe it but Roderick also chokes on a bit of cake too! Sadly he also passes away. It's so sad. And nobody can say that its foul play, because they just choked! And the chef (Hob) even tried the heimlich on Alex - of course it was a shame that he accidently broke his neck, but it is a very violent maneuver! These things happen!

Dream is naturally devastated, especially as he inherits the entire Burgess fortune (and all the fortunes of the people that the Burgesses were blackmailing, including Dream’s own entire family). It's such a burden that Dream donates it all to a Choking Awareness charity. In memory of his dear first husband.

He still can't work out how Hob did it. Maybe Hob will tell him, one day, when all the dust has settled and they've both moved overseas together, to start a new life. But Hob does say that the cake he makes for Dream’s second wedding will be much, much more palatable than the first <3

[notyourdaisybuchanan]

Rewatching The Bear 2x03 is actually crazy and feels so clarifying because like...

The ep starts with Carmy speaking at Al-Anon about fun, and how maybe he needs to have more of it. He acknowledges that fun is complicated for him because as a kid his family tended to ruin things for him, even though this was often unintentionally done. He says that he thinks if he had more amusement or enjoyment in his own life then it would be easier to provide that for other people. (Big note here that part of the purpose OF a restaurant is to provide amusement and enjoyment for people. Then add in Luca's conversation with Marcus in 2x04 about how the best food comes from being open and inspired, and spending time in the world. So Carmy having fun could theoretically make him better at his job.)

Anyway, Carmy gives that spiel at Al-Anon. Then we get a brief interlude of Syd looking at articles about recent restaurant closings and being stressed.

And then we're immediately back with Syd and Carmy cooking together in his kitchen. She fucks up a dish again, and he suggests they stop cooking and do a palate reset.

Like... this all happens within the first five minutes of the ep. This man has been musing about how he needs to have more fun.... and then he suggests spending the day eating in the city with Syd..... ergo that's his definition of fun. This is literally him making an attempt at doing something for amusement or enjoyment!! He planned this!! I fully believe he had this idea even before Sydney fucked up the dish. This man said I need to have more fun and you know what would be fun? Spending the day with my business partner eating delicious food. So he sends her home with plans to meet in an hour.

And then. AND THEN. Claire calls. First of all when she asks if he's busy, he looks at the white board and the very first thing on the To Do list is "call fridge guy" so like. lmao. I love foreshadowing. And he literally is busy!!! Not with unpleasant tasks to do but with something FUN. Something fun that he planned FOR himself.

And what is it that Claire asks him to do? Is it something fun? No. She asks him to HELP HER MOVE her mom. Like, the least fun task in the history of anything, the thing that people historically HATE being asked to help with. And he doesn't look excited about it! He looks torn. He looks...weird idk. Like ohhhh it's actually so crazy that Carmy bails on a truly fun day with Sydney in order to do a manual labor favor for Claire.

This is so ripe for analysis you simply cannot tell me it doesn't mean anything.

Carmy thinks about how he needs more fun, plans a fun day for himself, and then, when someone he tried to avoid asks him to do a not fun favor, he says yeah, I'll do that instead.

[ghosts-and-glory]

Gonna be honest, no idea what that last asker was talking about when they said Narinder deserved purgatory more. The guy is messed up, don't get me wrong, but the sheep genocide was completely out of his control. There isn't even any evidence that he got locked up for anything other than inventing a way to revive followers!

Narinder is much more palatable than the bishops and the fandom tends to forget that making him pissy/angry all the time is actually pretty ooc (ESPECIALLY considering the time it took between updates). He liked you as a god, he was mad for a while as a follower, AND THEN HE SAID HE RESPECTED YOU AS A GOD BEFORE YOU EVEN FULLY FINISHED HIS QUEST LINE!

Tldr; Narinder isn't as bad as the bishops, torture is cringe unless it's character building :)

That cat spent a thousand years being punished, let him rest. He’s been punished for his betrayal, a thousand years of it. During the game his crime is trying to escape a prison that he would never be allowed out of. He’s given no opportunity to reform, no time to rest and no end in sight.

I do enjoy it when follower Narinder is a bitch, I just want him to be mean to me is that too much to ask?

I’m a chronic adhd rambler and I hate scrolling by long posts. More thoughts on Narinder under the cut.

I do think this bit of dialogue is telling.

If you resurrect he seems to imply that resurrection is what started him towards his betrayal. He points out specifically that that there are no other gods to stop you from playing with life and death, this action makes him see himself in The Lamb. His reaction to the funeral is more reserved. Maybe he’s disappointed, maybe he feels some level of relief that you wouldn’t repeat his actions, maybe a bit of both.

And there’s his dialogue after his defeat.

I was originally gonna say something about his murder dialogue but I got distracted by how fucked up he is. Narinder, baby, I know you’re the god of death but begging to die is not normal.

But yeah the point that he seems to respect the Lamb’s godhood kinda supports my game theory that the Lamb is more death than Narinder. At the end of his godhood Nari was corrupt, driven by revenge and power. Depending on your actions as the Lamb you are now either walking the same corrupt path as he did, respecting the natural order of life and granting rest, or a bit of both.

I do think its easiest to love Narinder out of all of the npcs in the game. Yeah okay he’s evil in that good tumbly sexler man kinda way but he’s also the character with the most content. He has the most dialogue, you meet with him the most, he’s got the hardest boss battle with unique mechanics. I get why he’s the fan favourite and why people like Narilamb, what gayer than being character foils? Nothing.

He’s my little meow meow and I’m mean to him cause I love him. Mwah.

[sisitrip]

More Like Me, With You

Palate cleanser from some heavy. Don't know what this is, but it made me feel warm.

--------------------------------

Mickey’s key’s clatter against their door and Ian stretches on the couch, wiggling his toes in relief. Finally. A rare, full day apart from Mickey had reminded him of what it felt like to not have his husband at kissing distance.

What a shock. He’d hated it. 

He’s been askew in his skin all day and his mind sparked chaotic like so many pop rocks on a wet tongue. An empty apartment and being alone with his thoughts has never before, or now, been a good thing for him. 

Cold chapped and smiling, Mickey steps into the tropical heat of their apartment. Ian’s set up a trap house tailored to his husband’s tastes and he doesn’t feel guilty at all. The apartment was humidly redolent with dinner - a crock pot full of brisket, potatoes, and the veggie puree he’d snuck in. Cold beer was sitting in the refrigerator and various other items he knows Mickey loves are scattered around the apartment. He probably gets more out of doing these things for Mickey than Mickey does himself. It’s a poorly kept secret that he mainline’s Mickey’s happiness shamelessly.

“Ah fucking yesss,” Mickey hisses when he closes the door behind him and the warmth hits his face. “You’re getting all the blowjobs.”  

Ian laughs and drops his book on the coffee table. 

“That’s a pretty tall promise, husband.”

Mickey starts shedding his shoes and clothes as he walks over. 

“I mean that shit, husband. It’s jungle perfect in here,” Mickey says, finally stripped down to his boxers and tank top. He flops down onto Ian, pulling a laugh from him.

“We aim to please,” he chuckles, wrapping Mickey up in his arms. The cold clings stubbornly to his hair which makes Ian shiver in his own shorts and t-shirt. “How was it without me today?”

“You want a lie or the truth?” Mickey asks, burrowing. 

“The truth.”

“It sucked. Not the work, but the rig. That shit’s loud as fuck when you’re not in it.” 

Ian smiles and rubs Mickey between his shoulder blades. Loud is code for lonely. 

“Sorry I couldn’t be there. Lip rarely uses the emergency child care card.” 

Mickey snorts into his neck and hooks a leg over his thigh. 

“Fred, good?”

“Perfectly slobbery. He put applesauce in my hair.”

Mickey chuckles. “Fred put his favorite thing to eat on his favorite thing. That kid likes your hair as much as I do.” 

He hums and noses into Mickey’s hair, sniffing past the cold, smoke and city smells to find what he’s looking for. When he does, he inhales deeply. “Speaking of favorite things,” he murmurs and smiles when Mickey laughs.

“Fucking sniffer,” Mickey mumbles into his collar bone. “Repeat offender sniffer.” 

“Then stop being a human aromatherapy candle,” he teases, sniffing again. He stops when Mickey’s belly rumbles against his. 

“Tell me what you ate today and I better not hear Snickers once. Your last dentist appointment was a miracle.” 

“I had food.” Mickey shoves his hands under Ian’s back and hides his face. He can feel Mickey trying to cross his lying little fingers.

“Like?”

“Mountain Dew and a candy bar.” 

“What’d I say about the Snickers?” he faux gruffs. 

“I never said the word Snickers,” Mickey says with a sniff.

He grins, giving Mickey’s temple a peck. “You eat like a bachelor when I’m not around.”

“Then stop ditching me for Fred. He can’t even talk,” Mickey says, nipping his neck.

They lie quietly for a bit, listening to the muffled city sounds and wind pelting snow at their windows. Although the world is ordered now that he had Mickey close, he can’t quite let go of the discomfort he’d felt all day. It was like he wasn’t himself until Mickey was around. As a matter of fact, it’s been a long time since he’d thought about who he was without this soft, heaven-scented man in his arms.

“Mick?”

“Mmmm?”

“Did you feel like yourself today?”

Mickey makes a noise of confusion.

“Uh, kind of?”

“Explain please,” he says, stroking Mickey’s back.

“I mean, it’s having a routine, you know? If it gets out of whack, anyone would feel out of sorts or whatever.”

“Was it because I wasn’t there?” he asks softly.

Mickey pulls back, face comically sad. 

“My world caved in,” he begins, sober as a grave.

Ian flushes. Here it comes.

“I looked at the long devastation of the day and nearly gave up because you weren’t there.”

“Shut up,” he says, starting to laugh.

“When I thought the snow would drown me in the hole your absence made, I reached for a potion, nay!  An elixir.” Mickey bows his head solemnly. “Yes. A flagon of Mountain Dew. Without it, I might have perished.”

Ian’s laughing hard now. “You’re a dick.”

Mickey settles down, laughing too. 

“And you’re in your head again. Stop that shit. You’re Ian, and I’m Mickey even when we’re apart.” Mickey nuzzles into his neck. “But, truth? I feel more like me when we’re together.”

He kisses Mickey’s cheek. “Me too.” 

Mickey hums against his neck then stills when his stomach grumbles again. 

“Alright, are you ready to eat?” Ian asks, giving him a squeeze.

“Yeah.”

He makes as if to get up. “Come on then. I got brisket on.”

Mickey grumbles and sags his weight down fully, hiding his face in Ian’s shoulder.

“Wait a minute.”

“Why? Thought you were hungry.” 

“I am.”

“Then let me up so I can get us some food,” he laughs when Mickey doesn’t budge. “You need to eat, baby.”

Mickey kisses his neck and squeezes close.

“Need this more.”

He liquifies to absolute besotted goo, sliding his hands under Mickey’s tank and down into his shorts, squeezing softly. 

“You are several levels of sweet, Mickey Gallagher,” he whispers into his hair.

“It’s the Snickers,” Mickey mutters. 

Ian holds him tight, head and heart full of all the things that are completely true about Mickey, but would be brushed off by his husband as romantic nonsense. 

“Nope. The candy hasn’t got a damn thing to do with it,” he murmurs, accepting Mickey’s soft kiss.

“Yeah?” Mickey whispers. 

“Yeah.”

They curl into each other in the loving humidity of the life they’ve built together, needing nothing more than to be this close for a while. 

[schraubd]

Going Fishing

The wave of terror Donald Trump and J.D. Vance have unleashed upon the Haitian community in Ohio continues to crest. I am by no means the first to observe the similarities between how they are talking about Haitians and how Nazis spoke of Jews at the outset of their rise to power. That's strong language, and yet it is terrifyingly warranted. We are seeing something that is, in fact, not at all unprecedented. But there is a particular aspect of the racism we're seeing here that particularly resonated with me as a Jew -- the frenetic scouring to find anything and everything that "proves" the conspiracies right, or at least justified. In the Ohio case, this reached a comical (if anything about this could be comical) apex when Christopher Rufo offered a bounty to prove the "Haitians in Springfield are eating cats" conspiracy correct and then started crowing over a video of not-Haitians in Toledo grilling chicken. But other examples abound (although at least J.D. Vance had the "decency" to admit he was simply making things up). Far, far too many Republicans response to blatant acts of hatred is to cast far and wide for something that makes the hatred feel palatable. As a reasonably public-facing Jewish professor, I frequently idly wonder if I'll be targeted by some sort of antisemitic attack. Mostly, it doesn't happen. Occasionally, it does; though in my case never in such a fashion that would explode into the public view. But if an "incident" did happen -- someone graffitied my office door, for instance -- I am absolutely sure that a certain cadre of online folk would immediately begin pouring over my collection of writings to find anything they possibly could to explain why I'm a legitimate target. That knowledge -- less that something could happen, and more that if it did I'd be the one scrutinized to hell and back, with the most gimlet eye and uncharitable gaze -- is perhaps what stresses me the most. I do not think I am alone amongst Jews in feeling this way; hyperpoliced at every turn to justify ex post facto a judgment that has been handed down in advance. By all objective accounts, the Haitian community in Springfield has been a boon to an erstwhile struggling city. But they are not universal saints, any more than anyone else is -- if one places them under a powerful enough lens, one will of course be able to find something or someone butting up against the social compact (though not, I'd wager, stealing and eating pets). No group can maintain a perfect record under that sort of scrutiny. And the knowledge that one is under that microscope is just exhausting. It's exhausting right alongside the more direct anxiety and misery of being directly subjected to acts of hate and bigotry. The people responsible for this have no shame, so I won't bother to say they should be ashamed. But no good person should feel anything other than contempt for this latest dose of bigotry. via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/NJkLSEa

[alwaysbewoke]

in addition, the "victim" is a classic white supremacist trick that all white supremacist (regardless of race) play on black and brown people to get them to be quiet about the real affects of racism in their lives by attacking their pride. it would be like if you stabbed me in the leg and i said "YO YOU STABBED ME IN THE LEG" and your reply was "oh stop playing the victim!!" then imagine, as i bleed on the floor, i say "i'm bleeding out" and your reply was "stop playing the victim card." it would be stupid asf, right? everyone watching that would think the person who did the stabbing was both an idiot and insane AND YET this is what white people and their self-hating black and nbpoc allies do this all the live long day. BUT it's with a purpose.

the goal is stir up your pride as a black and brown person in NOT wanting to be seen as weak, powerless, needy and incapable and they want you to see your acknowledgement of racism and its impact on our lives as exactly that. on top of that, if they can enough black and brown people to feel this way, then you won't actually do anything to change the root of your problems: white supremacy. if they can get us to be so desirous to not look weak, powerless, needy and incapable (in whose eyes btw? hint, white people), we'll just be okay with the staggering number of pregnant black women who die because racist doctors don't listen to them when they ask for help because they just believe that being black means a special mutant power to handle pain. if they can get us to be so desirous to not look weak, we'll just be fine with all the redlining that's happening in black neighborhoods, the murderous, racist policing that targets us, and all the other white supremacist fueled injustices we have to deal with. we'll do nothing, we will die and that's what they want. "the ultimate logic of racism is genocide" - mlk (another mlk quote you probably weren't taught in school).

the sad thing is that there are indeed plenty of black and brown people who have already fallen for this bullshit. to not "play the victim," they are all too happy to ignore what racism has done and is doing to black and brown people so that they can look strong in the eyes of those who hate them: white people.

and btw, "nikki" isn't her real name. her actual name is nimarata but to be more palatable to white people, she's not using it. even in that choice she is demonstrating what white supremacy does to black people and other poc. smfh

[ponett]

Heya inspiring dev here, I'm brain-storming for a game concept based on classical RPGs (specifically on the 2000s Tales Of titles), I wanted to ask as somebody who's being a big fan of RPGs and a game developer yourself, what is the one big sin in terms of design you should avoid doing for a game in vein of the games of that era?

This might not be a particularly helpful response, but I generally shy away from "always do this"/"never do this" type game design advice these days. What works for one game might not work for another, and what sucks in one game might be exactly what another game needs. It's all about execution, and knowing how different choices enhance or detract from the overall experience you're trying to craft.

Players tend to vocally dislike anything that inconveniences them. Random encounters, for example. Everyone says they hate those. But random encounters have their place! They can be used effectively, and you can also design around them to make them more palatable for a modern audience, or you can just use them exactly how the classics did if that's the experience you're going for. People complain about limited inventory space, but having a smaller number of items usually means players will actually use what they have, rather than sitting on a stockpile of 99 of everything "just in case they need it later." People say they hate ice sliding puzzles in games, but I put some in SLARPG because I thought that was what that section of the game needed and by god, I'd do it again!!!

Uhhh anyway for a small piece of actual actionable advice: it's annoying when there's an incredibly long cutscene directly before a boss fight and you have to watch the whole thing again if you die and try again. Being able to fast forward dialogue or outright skip a scene is good, but so is structuring things so that longer dialogue scenes tend to come after bosses rather than before them, or placing a point where the player can stop and save between the long dialogue scene and the boss fight.

Also PS1/PS2 era JRPGs (especially FF) were often obsessed with including tons of obscure missable items that you could permanently lock yourself out of obtaining by progressing the story too far. Again, I won't say this is something you should never do - the argument can easily be made that this increases replayability, or that it encourages players to talk to their friends about secrets. But it can get frustrating if you do it too much, and it can encourage paranoid behavior in players.

[crimsoncold]

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE IN THE HOTD FANDOM RIGHT now as someone who is disappointed in the show's handling of team green and really just critical the show's writing in general

Team Green Stans and/or HOTD critics:

"I know I'm going to get a barrage of criticism or even hate/harassment for saying this but...

HOTD's writing is rather biased and strays from the source material in ways that are frequently ridiculous, fails to actually improve the story, and totally ignores the anti-war and the general targ/ruling class critical tone of GRRM's writing.

Yes villain or dark character centric shows can be really good even when the purpose of the story isn't to condemn their actions- BUT purposefully changing an adaptation of a story so that it no longer contains the original message/themes that did criticize the characters and their actions is at the very least a questionable writing choice.

The characterization and the messages of the show are inconsistent in a way that doesn't feel intentional or in order to make a point- instead it just doesn't make sense. ALL characters suffer due to the choices of the writers/showrunners- including team black- but team green is obviously getting the worst of it (seriously its cartoonishly bad). It's all so nonsensical and frustrating that it's getting harder and harder to watch- really at this point its no longer even a fun bad! show that can still manage to be entertaining even when the story itself sucks.

Much like with d&d with the later seasons of GOT it's disappointing to see the poor quality of work coming from paid professional writers, this could have been a show about a tragic and dramatic conflict between characters who are mostly bad people yet are still compelling or sympathetic and instead we got ...well...this."

Some Team Black Stans:

"Come on people HoTD is an adaptation so of course things will differ from the books but the show still stays true to the heart of the book, the changes were not a big deal- in fact some were good choices by the showrunners making more disturbing and violent aspects of the book more palatable for the audience without lessening their emotional impact... B&C was toned down not to whitewash team black but because no one should want to see the multiple child homicides from the book take place on screen...and the violence here really isn't as important to the plot as it was for say GOT's red wedding... toning the violent or horrific nature of these deaths down and having it occur off screen is the right thing to do! It's still sad- and this way we didn't need to traumatize the actors OR the audience!

Really people just stop complaining... both sides of the conflict are presented as EQUALLY culpable and in the wrong as the other side, team green stans are just missing the subtle points being made in the show and are exaggerating when they criticize the writing or supposed inconsistent characterization and accuse the showrunner's of being biased.

These TG stans are just being so mean and should stop criticizing the writers/showrunners-who are just doing their job!- and even if they feel they have to criticize the writing it's really just so inappropriate to ever specifically name the writers/showrunners when doing so! It's one thing for fandom to anonymously criticize other fans- especially since TG Stan's takes are so misguided that they obviously need someone to explain to them how they are misinterpreting things- but criticizing the professional writers and showrunners through tumblr posts is out of line! Its not the writer's fault that Alicent and TG are hypocritical or less likable than TB- that may just be how they are in canon- to say that the storytellers are purposefully changing things to make TG less sympathetic or competent than they were in the books and to set them up as the unlikeable antagonistic opposite to the now more tragic and heroic TB is a ridiculous accusation!"

Other Team Black Stans:

"Daemyra is just the best ship, they have loved eachother since she was a teenager and now after years of pining and being kept apart they are finally free to be together, you never see supportive or healthy relationships like this in asoiaf, we stan a man who will do literally anything and kill anyone for his niece wife.

Lucerys was just an innocent baby when he sliced up Aemond's face, he was just protecting his big brother, it only happened because he was afraid for their lives! Viserys made the right choice not to punish anyone since the team black kids only attacked Aemond after he stole Rhaena's dragon and Lucerys was only using self defense when he used a knife on Aemond. Most especially Lucerys and his mother didn't deserve to be attacked by that bitch Alic*nt. And Rheanyra trying to have Aemond tortured for calling her sons bastards was just her being a rightfully protective mother! Team Green means her family harm and no way will a bamf like Rhaenyra let that slide... this is what a good mother does not like that terrible Alic*nt! Lucerys' death was so tragic can't wait to see a grieving mother get her revenge... TG believes in an eye for an eye don't they? Well how will they like a son for a son?

TG stans keep saying that Rhaenyra is just as violent entitled and problematic as anyone else on hotd! They are so wrong! They are just delusional haters that can't stand to see a woman have sexual freedom and be in a position of power! She is the better daughter/wife/mother and the only people she hates are the ones who deserve it!

See she isn't evil like the Hightowers- B&C was an accident and the book description was exaggerated to be used as propaganda against Rhaenyra- she didn't even know it was happening. It wasn't even team blacks intent to kill little Jaehaerys only to kill Aemond- but he's a kinslayer so them sending someone to assassinate their nephew/brother is totally in the right and not something any character in canon would judge them for!... Rhaenyra is just too good of a person to wish harm on any of her innocent family members. Everything that happened to Rhaenyra, Rhaenys, and Meleys is just so tragic... they are the only true queens in this series ...god i wish all of their pain was only experienced by team green lol.

You know what ...are TG stans children or something? Why do they keep complaining that team green is being unfairly villainized to make team black look better? Don't they know they can just watch a show where the characters are flawed/bad people without needing the story to spoon feed the audience the message that bad people need to be condemned? Why do they take things so seriously? Why is this their whole personality? Get a life and stop overthinking a book/tv show -not everything needs to be deep you know so just shut up and enjoy watching the dragons destroy things.

But for real how can you people stan misogynistic women haters like team green or a trad wife/women for trump like Alic*nt? Like yikes what does your fictional character preferences say about you as a person. Hey EVERYBODY look these weirdos are really out here defending and woobifying violent predatory and sexist characters like team green! This fandom is the worse i swear lmfao."

Meanwhile...

Showrunners/Writers:

"What if the civil war, brutal violence, and tragic kinslaying that happened in the dance of dragons was really just a series of accidents and misunderstandings?

What if Rhaenyra and Alicent were friends who never really hated one another, and Alicent was pining for Rhaenyra's friendship and acceptance for the last 20 years, what if neither of them even wanted to go to war?

Who cares about house stark or the pact of ice and fire, or Jace's interactions with Cregan or Sara? You know what Sara Snow doesn't even exist, Jon i mean Jace would never betray his betrothal/loyalty/vows to his dragonrider soulmate and future wife for some stark girl! This whole stark side plot isn't important lets just go back to the dragons!

What if Rhaenyra wanted the throne because she knew that from her descendants the prophesied saviour/prince that was promised would be born? What if instead of her surviving son Aegon being so traumatized by the horrors of this meaningless war that he actually hated and feared dragons afterward- and supposedly was even responsible for killing the last one- it is Rhaenyra who was actually responsible for saving Daenerys' future dragon eggs- and thus she the one who ensured the return of dragons to Westeros! It will be Rhaenyra through her choices and her descendants that will be responsible for saving the entire realm and defeating the others with dragon fire!

What if Alicent pushing her son to be crowned was all because she was a fool who misunderstood the words of her dying husband NOT because she felt her son was unfairly robbed of his birthright by his father?

What happened with Daenerys in the later seasons of GOT was so unfair- just terrible writing -she NEVER should have been made out to be a mad queen and i bet Rhaenyra wasn't actually a cruel or violent ruler either! I bet it was the men who slandered her, and the men who were pushing for war and violence while all the women were actually trying to keep the peace.

Wait...wait.... What if everything in the book that criticized Rhaenyra was actually propaganda made by her enemies to ruin her reputation!?!!? Yeah B&C and team black arranging the horrific murder of a child? That story was TOTALLY team green exaggerating the violent murder of their child/grandchild. Daenerys I mean Rhaenyra deserved so much better... and all the injustices that happened to her will be the most impactful and tragic element of this show.

What if TG didnt actually have strong bonds with their dragon or spend much time riding them?... just more propaganda! Yes! CGI is expensive so this also means we dont really have to show their dragons unless they are fighting the blacks. Team Black's bond with their dragons is much more powerful and important though so we should still show them spending time together and riding them.

What if the book description of the respect and loyalty team green had to one another and the terrible grief they felt at the loss of their family members was ALSO just team green propaganda? What if Alicent only ever struggled as a mother and failed to connect with her kids and actually didn't even like or respect her children? How many kids did she have anyway? Three? Yeah that sounds right. Oh wait! Wait! What if none of TG got along with or trusted one other? No...no...What if they actually hated and betrayed each other? YESSSS!!!!!!!

Team black and their descendants are the true Targaryens, no one is really interested in the boring team green anyways so at least these changes will make them more interesting and better foils for team black! This type of story is exactly what people want I just know they are going to love it."

NOTE: (because i know idiots will be lurking in the anti tags to complain or harass people)

this is mostly meant to be very critical of the showrunners and somewhat critical of a specific type of stanning behaviour and the weird criticism or harassment that gets directed at people who like team green or who criticize hotd - sure i may be exaggerating slightly for effect but l'm STILL pulling from real posts/comments/opinions that I see from TB stans ...Like sure they aren't putting ALL of this in a single post but collectively this is definitely the type of attitude and language many TB stans have

Fandom is just about enjoying a special interest - I dont actually care about or want to police who you stan or ship. I DO care that some of you purposefully and directly harass real people because you disagree with their opinion on fictional characters and that some of you leave uncharitable, ignorant, critical, or unpleasant comments on properly tagged Team Green/anti or TB critical/or hotd critical posts.

Most of all i just find it really funny the juxtaposition there is between how underwhelming and juvenile the show's storytelling choices are compared to how eloquently, persistently, or vehemently fans will write up either criticism or defense pieces for these characters, this objectively bad show, and it's deeply unimpressive writing... like sure some fans put more effort into understanding the source material and comparing it to the show and some put more effort into criticizing or defending the show,the writing, or specific characters but collectively nearly all of us are putting in more time, effort, and thought into hotd than ANY of the showrunners/writers.

In conclusion Guys just like or dislike whatever show/characters you want...you don't have to justify the things you like by being willfully in denial about what canon sources say/the nature of certain characters/or the quality of the show's writing. You definitely don't need to be disrespectful or attack people on behalf of fictional characters or the well paid hbo showrunners/writers.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm Late, I know

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Feb 2024 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 12fin - we waiting 2 weeks I guess? Bah.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 13fin - I wasn't impressed by the last ep at all. Trash watch happened here.

My final thoughts:

Based on alittlebixth's omegaverse novel #พิษเบ๊บ’ set in the world of car racing omegaverse. Thailand brought us the world's first omegaverse BL but then failed to lean into the courage of its a/b/o convictions by not emphasizing the difference between our world & theirs, adding & subtracting characters & allegiances + a weak ending. With earnest performances, enthusiastic sex scenes, a fantastic side couple, and some delightful scenery chewing - the actors tried… poor things. It's just the story failed both them and their parent genre. Frankly? I just wanted it to be more outrageous and trashy, since I never expected it to be good. Instead, it was just… meh. 7/10

(Imma remind all the newbies that this is not unprecedented from me with hugely popular BL.)

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - I like it but there’s a high % of this show that doesn’t interest me. Anything to do with the side couple, or the friend group, or the cooking competition drives me into a comatose state of UGH. That means that in this episode, I paid attention to about 5 minutes worth. 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - I'm ready for this to be done. I think they were trying to be this year's Big Dragon, but they just aren't good enough. I really didn’t need a third couple.

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - I'm warming up to FueangKrom a bit. It’s cute. I am finding the pacing interesting. That pacing might be bad, but right now it’s simply different. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Love For Love's Sake (Korea Weds iQIYI) 5-6 of 8 - I still love this show a lot, but this 2 ep installment felt a little disjointed. I’m not sure if that’s the narrative structure or the subs. The captions are shockingly bad for a KBL and I don’t have enough Korean to make up for their clear failings. 

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - Oh the return of the manic pixie dream ex. This is all very high school drama for purportedly grown-up adults. But them both being jealous and then kissing was sweet.  

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - They remain adorable and the sunshine robot is very sweet. But it is a little slow. 

Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 6 - I prefer the episodes when we get more of them onscreen together. But this was fine. 

Happy Ending (Korea Tues YT) 3fin - The ending disappointed me (are you surprised?). What can I say, not Strongberry's best as far as I’m concerned. High school besties that many could be sweethearts. I don’t like an ending that’s left up in the air. 6/10

It's Done but...

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam, it's on YouTube. I will give it a try when I have a window of time.

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch.

It's Airing But...

[NO INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 12 eps - Gave me Luminous Solution vibes. It finished, is it worth it?

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) 12 eps - finished, horror, supposed to be very philosophical, I think I'll give it a go.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Up

2/16 My Strawberry Film (Japan Gaga) - not quite sure how much BL this one is, because... Japan, but we shall see.

2/17 A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV) - Khonprot, a third-year head hazer of the engineering faculty, has a secret crush on Pluem, a tsundere fourth-year head hazer. Over the years, he's seen Pluem cycle through many girlfriends. Recently, after a public breakup, however, Khonprot thinks maybe a boy has a chance. Unless this is really good I probably won't I hate the WeTV interface...

Still Coming in Feb

2/24 Unknown (Taiwan Youku) 12 eps - Older brother tough guy criminal breadwinner looks after his sister and defacto adopted little brother. Little bother falls in love with him and is sent away after a stolen kiss. But when he comes back…

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

We gotta talk about LFLS this week. Look at Korea go!

Talking about a dead fish kiss, how meta! This will end up on one of my best of the year moments. I could not have been more gobsmacked.

Also something rarely directly addressed, particularly for same-sex firsts.

And then, a claiming trope, a personal favorite of mine.

Thank you Korea!

I just love them. (Pit Babe)

(Last week)

[ready-to-obeyme]

(not) pleased to meet you

lucifer x reader

notes: gender neutral; an alternative first meeting, implied annoyance to lovers; pre-relationship; (feels slightly like crack but that's just lucifer having a hard time lol)

word count: ~1.3k

No matter how Lucifer likes to spin it years down the line, the truth is, it was annoyance at first meeting with you.

For the last few months before the beginning of the exchange program, he's been doubling down on more work (if that is even possible) trying to finalize the details. Picking you for a human representative at random was the last thing he had to do-- and Father forbid Diavolo ask him how he chose you. (He thinks the prince would get a kick out of it if Lucifer told him it was the first paper that landed on his foot after they all fell on the ground.)

Just when he thinks he can finally filch some responsibility to Mammon as your attendant when you're summoned down to the assembly room, Lucifer watches with quickly growing iritation as you insist Diavolo-- crown prince of the Devildom-- make additional accommodations before you spend the next year with the demon brothers.

"I mean," you say with growing distress, "you can't expect my family and friends to just be... okay with my sudden disappearance, right?"

Damn.

It's rather unfortunate you make sense with the points you bring up; Lucifer would have rather preferred to ignore you entirely and get on with everything. The feeling must have shown on his face because when you turn to look at him, you narrow your eyes in a way that almost mirrors his own displeasure.

Truly, Lucifer thinks seethingly with a charming smile now plastered on his face, an annoyance.

You turn from him quickly when Diavolo lets out a thoughtful hum, glancing at Lucifer with an otherwise well-disguised amusement had Lucifer not seen the expression numerous times before. It normally does not bode well for him.

"I must say, you've brought up rather important details to our attention," Diavolo begins. "I must apologize on all our behalf; we utilized the other human representative as the backbone for human accommodation, but perhaps he was not the best candidate for a normal human."

Curse that black-hearted sorcerer, Lucifer thinks instinctively. (In Purgatory Hall, Solomon sneezes twice in the middle of baking fresh cookies for his new angelic roommates.)

"That's alright," you say in relief. "Glad you're so understanding. So you can send me back--"

"And Lucifer will accompany you to the human world to tie those loose ends," Diavolo tells you cheerfully, and Lucifer watches as your expression freezes (in the same manner as his, most likely).

"Uh, what-"

"We discourage hypnosis on humans for the sake of better relations, but I think we can make this the exception." Diavolo nods, counting off his fingers the long list of 'loose ends' you so kindly provided to him not a minute earlier. "Your family, your friends, your work place, and wherever else you believe a long absence will be alarming, please allow Lucifer to help you make it more palatable. I would hate for you to be jobless or homeless when you come back, of course!" He laughs, and you can only smile back weakly, knowing when it's a losing battle, to Lucifer's surprise.

You look to Lucifer again then with a mildly defeated expression, and the smile Lucifer gives you then is just a smidge more genuine as it is wry.

.

.

.

You follow Lucifer quietly through the portal that connects the Devildom to the human realm, only always a few steps behind. You are quick to jump in and lead the way once you are near where you were first summoned, and for the most part, the journey is oddly quiet.

Lucifer rather expected begging, or at least, more insistence on not being a part of the exchange program since you were so adamant a few hours prior. He is allowed into your home and, with reluctance, into your room as you pack some ammenities and extra clothing for your stay in the Devildom. "It's messy; don't look," you tell him, waving your hand in his line of sight. "I haven't had time to clean it and, well, I probably won't have time to now either."

"Diavolo granted us a few days to... settle your matters," Lucifer explains, glancing over at your open closet, to which you stand up and futilely attempt to block his view. "You can afford to take the time to clean up."

It's amusing to see you embarrassed of an unkempt room of all things after standing up for yourself in a room full of demons, but perhaps that was simply another human peculiarity.

"You sound like my mom," you mutter.

Lucifer glares. "What?"

"Nothing!" You sigh, shoving a set of clothes into a suitcase. "By the way, you think you can convince my work place to give me a whole year leave of absence?"

"I don't see why I would be unable to," Lucifer replies, trailing off. He watches as you take a small photo album from your drawer and place it into your suitcase pocket delicately. Your expression is wistful - a far cry from your earlier determination or previous irritation. You obviously have reasons not to leave for the Devildom, which makes him all the more curious as to why you've come willingly to say goodbye. It makes him pause before saying your name.

It's only when you turn to him quickly that he realizes it's the first time he's used it. Lucifer clears his throat before continuing, "You seem... to be reacting well to the exchange program, despite your initial hesitance."

"Oh, well." You look down at your packed suitcase. "I just thought the idea sounded... rather nice," you say, "despite how inconvenient it's been for me." You zip it up swiftly, with a finality. "Peace in all three realms-- I like that... even though the knowledge that heaven and hell actually exists is insane--"

A human believing in the dreams of a demon and giving him the benefit of the doubt. You must either be brave or foolish for going along with it-- or maybe both, Lucifer thinks, watching you clear out your desk. Perhaps he had chosen right with you, even if it was technically at random. Perhaps it was fate to bring a human that would fit right into the Devildom.

You stand up and turn to him with your luggage packed and ready, and Lucifer realizes then how quickly his annoyance turned into genuine interest. It's ridiculous to think about. Him? Invested in the fate of a human? Are all of them like you, he wonders.

"This clean enough?" You say almost teasingly, and Lucifer looks around before giving you a smirk. He's pleased to see you look down, cheeks warm and expression embarrassed because of him, before he can even respond. (Perhaps you are not so infallible...)

"I expect this level of cleanliness when you live in the House of Lamentation," he tells you with amusement. "I'll be checking ever so often, so try to keep the mess to a minimum."

"You really are the eldest brother," you say with a surprising amount of exasperated fondness. Before Lucifer can register how that makes him feel, you walk past him, saying something about having someone take care of your pet, and the moment is gone.

He watches you flit back and forth between rooms, putting your life in a neat box before you return to the Devildom with him, and briefly, he wonders if you could help him keep his brother in check rather than the other way around.

He supposes he will just have to watch over you to see what happens.