#this is what i'm doing to xisuma btw

[lectern-fullcauldron]

my favourite bits from some hermits' first ever hermitcraft videos:

Joe: [very poor mic quality] "howdy y'all! Joe Hills here, recording as I always do in Nashville, Tennessee, and I seem to have found myself on the hermitcraft server, despite it being private and whitelisted, a testament to my ingenuity and the foolishness of others" GenB: "...Hypno, we've been hoodwinked"

Cleo: "oh there's a FUCK ton of horses over there... well, Joe's offline and I'm too shy to speak to everyone"

Etho: immediately just crawls into redstone and farms and gets distracted by bits of string doing block updates that he wants to figure out

Cub: "Land ho, Hypno!" a whole video of hermit chaos and running about with cub being pretty quiet only for him to unmute, run around calling everyone's builds beautiful and then add mineshafts to the Mesa before Mojang did

Impulse: mumbo, X, and tango doing their giggly impulse summoning ritual for redstone purposes

Xisuma: 48 seconds into the video, the active hermits (Hypno included) are plotting to hunt him down and kill him because they think he's afk

Doc: episode title: humble beginnings, episode opening: two and a half minutes of dramatic music as doc gives a third person camera tour of the server with the back of his head firmly in the centre of the shot

False: poor, quiet, wet cat just wants a job in some xisuma and mumbo led roleplay

Mumbo (this is the first hermitcraft episode I ever watched, btw): he's building a plaza and he needs the hermits to validate his fountain idea because what if he builds a fountain and the hermits don't like it? building is hard, btw

Gem and Pearl: in the pit, go. Get in the pit. Ok, now we can start

Keralis: "yo, yo, it's keralis", "no, I won't be doing a tutorial for this house because it's a pain in the ass to make", "me and survival is really shitty, it's not my cup of tea at all"

[dmwrites]

(I am not sorry for this btw)

——

I woke up to my evil stepmom, Iskall85, throwing a potion of harming onto my bed.

“y/n! Wake up! You’re going to be late for school! Were you up late watching those stupid Minecraft YouTube videos again? You’re as useless as diorite! You are why I do hard drugs!” She left the room, and I sighed. Another boring day of my boring life. But I was going to be late for school if I didn’t get ready now.

I got up and put on my cutest outfit- my black suit. I threw my hair up into a messy bun, and stopped in front of the mirror to smooth down my mustache. I sighed. I was just y/n, no one special.

My evil stepmom Iskall85 was snorting redstone off the counter when I entered the kitchen. I sighed, because they were evil and wouldn’t even share their redstone dust with me, and grabbed a banana off the counter. There was a honk from outside.

"Bye, step-Iskall. I'm off to school." I said. My stepmom just flipped me off, and I went outside, sighing some more. I ran over to my bestie’s car and hoped in.

“Good morning Scar!”

“Goodness gracious, y/n, we’re gonna be late! Good thing the swaggon goes fast!” My bestie, Goodtimeswithscar said, slamming on the gas. Scar was super nice and popular, not to mention handsome, and everyone at school loved him. I would probably always be in his shadow, but at least he had taken me in as his friend.

“Sorry, I accidentally slept in. And my evil stepmom threw a potion of harming on me. Do I look okay? I only had time to put my hair up in a messy bun. And I bet my mustache looks atrocious!” I said.

“You look so good, y/n!” Scar said, blowing through a red light. “You’re so hard on yourself, you’re like the prettiest guy in school!”

“Whatever, that’s you you’re talking about.” I replied, but blushed a little.

The swaggon came screeching into the parking lot, and me and Scar got out, running to our science class.

Science class was usually a pretty good place to fix my hair and mustache, as the science we were assigned to do was always chaotic. Ms. ZombieCleo, and her assistant JoeHills, were kept pretty busy making sure no one accidentally created a toxic gas. Today, Docm77 and Rendog had been caught doing… something in the back of the classroom, and it gave me and Scar ample time to sort out ourselves.

“As I was saying, y/n, you have to stop being so hard on yourself!” Scar said, handing me a compact mirror and a mustache comb. “You get top grades, you’re great at redstone, and you always slay that suit!”

“I don’t know, Scar.” I said. “I just feel like I’m just some guy, you know? I’ll never catch anyone’s eye, or be prom queen.”

“Don’t be silly. I know you’re gonna achieve something great in this life, y/n.” Scar said earnestly.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and in came one of the secretaries, Geminitay.

“y/n to the principal’s office.” She said. She looked kind of worried.

Goodtimeswithscar gripped my arm. “Great Jellie, y/n, are you in trouble?”

“I don’t know.” I replied. “I can’t think of anything that I could have done.” But I stood up, grabbed my backpack, and followed Geminitay out the door. Ms. ZombieCleo and JoeHills didn’t notice me leave.

“Is everything okay?” I asked Gem.

“I- well- I’ll get the principal to explain it to you.” Gem said, and we walked in silence the rest of the way to the front office. I was so nervous.

“Hello, y/n.” My principal, Mr. Xisumavoid, waved me into his office when we arrived.

“Is everything okay, Mr. Void?” I asked him.

“Well, it is quite the situation.” Principal Xisumavoid said. “You see, your mom just called-”

“Step mom.” I corrected him.

“Right, step mom.” Principal Xisumavoid said. “Well, either way, she called to tell us that she has sold you to someone else so she could buy more redstone and potions.”

I gasped. “What? She sold me? To who?” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t believe my stepmom had sold me!

Principal Xisuma looked down at the paper in front of him. “Ah, to a person called Grian.”

“Wait, what? You mean the famous youtuber Grian from Minecraft?” I gasped.

“Yep. That’s me. Grian from Minecraft!”

I turned around to find Grian standing at the door to Principal Xisumavoid’s office. It was really him! With his waffle-looking hair and beady black eyes and red sweater, there was no mistaking him.

“y/n, when I saw that your evil stepmom put you up for sale on Facebook marketplace, I knew I had to do something! Don’t worry, y/n, I am very famous and rich. We will be best friends. And I must say, your moustache looks lovely.”

I gasped and blushed, my tears drying. Famous youtuber Grian complementing me? y/n? Suddenly, I knew my life was about to get a whole lot crazier.

[convexheadcanons]

Hello I am here with another headcanon dump and some more art! :P I made this lil thing a bit ago to demonstrate my headcanon about how Vexes use illusions to maintain a more mundane-seeming form. When they're stressed things like a blue eye glint, white hair strands, and more ashy skin start to peek through as control over the passive illusion slips. Often in times of intense magic use and combat they just drop it completely cause it's too much of a bother.

The Convex generally prefer their more human appearences out of familiarity but drop it when they want to be intimidating, are exhausted, or having a more quiet intimate moment and feel comfortable showing that form with whoever they're around. (Btw the glowing scar on the chest is where his soul was ripped out. Cub has one too but it's hidden most of the time. :P)

Giggling kicking our legs

YOU GET IT HEHEH, IT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING, Vexes are magical creatures sure they have some limitations but they're literally MAGIC HELLO? THINK OF THE THINGS THEY COULD DO WITH THAT?

I absolutely adore both this post and the art holy moly, I see their magical stamina as a Stardew Valley kind of energy depletion ; they have a certain amount of magic, it takes time to regenerate the magic, like how blood is regenerated or skin cells - at the start it felt strange to both of them for their magic to regenerate ; like there was something there and moving inside of their very veins. But they got used to it, they also got used to the physical altercations that came with being vexes - sure they looked a bit different, Scar had larger wings than Cub, but Cub had a long tail with a sharp and curved ending - but they understood each other, they were there for each other the whole time, and it took them a long time but they found they could revert back to a more human form!

I see at the start they didn't understand the idea of having a magical barrier and they often overworked themselves to the point they couldn't hold the illusion anymore so they went to one another and waited until they were okay; until they looked like what they imagined to be 'normal'

It hurts a little to change between forms so quickly, it's just like having growing pains though - the body shifting to accompany the new physical showing of their real and true nature ; and only a few hermits actually have seen their true forms sure they know that they're vexes and they sold their soul - but only a certain few know how bad it is - Xisuma already knows being a voidwalker comes with a few perks - but he acted like he didnt know until they came forwards and had to tell him.

They are the worst people to have this kind of power, because they are both known for their over exertion in their builds so most of the time they collapse in their true forms and allow the other to take care of them (obviously with the chastising of self-care that they know that the other would never follow up)

[As for the soul being ripped out YES, I WAS RANTING TO WITHER ABOUT THIS - there are different ways to give a soul ; more ethical ways but vexes they enjoy violence, dominance so instead of being patient and coaxing out the soul in a peaceful and unpainful way, it was simply yanked out of the chest]

OUGH, I'M SO OBSESSED WITH THEM AND THIS AND THE ART I'M RUNNING AROUND MY ENCLOSURE AMD JUMPING

- 🫀

[katkat030]

Ooooh what the thing you're writing abt?

You are SO kind and thank you for asking!

I threw those tags out there fully expecting no one to actually poke me about it and I'm really happy you did :)

Mutuals who know me from elsewhere,,, I already put a summary of this under the story time thread so I guess I have no excuses for not making this public

I'm writing a fic based of the DBHC au (Detroit Become Hermitcraft) comics by Shepscapades (if you're not familiar with it, I highly recommend you check out their blog!! I have SUCH brainrot and the storyline and art are so compelling)

DBHC is a Hermitcraft narrative of sorts that makes use of the android mechanics from the video game Detroit Become Human

here (1), here (2) and here (3) is sort of where it all starts (but I highly recommend looking through the DBHC au tag on their profile <- that link's in reverse chronological order btw so you don't have to scroll down first)

Basically, Xisuma designs androids (like Mumbo, Etho, Impulse and Doc) to assign to some of the hermits (Grian, Bdubs, Pearl and Ren to name a few) at some point around season 8 or maybe earlier, and they help with things like building, terraforming and probably resource gathering.

And at first they're androids, like "command me to do this and I will", but then they deviate, sometimes through a traumatic event or just by nature for whatever reason, and become more human, sentient in a way. And after Etho deviates, him and Bdubs start to become very close friends, with feelings attached, but the gist I get is that Etho doesn't entirely know what he's experiencing, and I think Bdubs is... probably in denial.

anyway, I could go on for hours about this but that's the basis of Shepscapade's DBHC au.

I'm writing an incredibly fluffy (and fighting the urge to write angst. but I may include a pinch, we'll see) oneshot about the two of them. Current plans is that they've been planting saplings (Etho was originally designed to help with terraforming and that, after all) and it's late afternoon, so Bdubs being Bdubs is very, very tired.

And tired people are clingy, they let their guard down a bit, they start giving in slightly to things they don't have enough energy to fight.

Like the urge to reach out and go hey, come back, I actually want you to play with my hair, I want you to lie with me in the sunshine, I want to listen to the sound of your android heart (thirium pump) because it's a reassurance that even though my eyes are closed you're still nearby, I want you here, and I'm going to hang on to you because I don't ever want you to leave again.

[riacte]

🛸 exterrasexymenpoll Follow

THE RED KING from TEAM DOGWARTS and BLUE BATS

vs

HAND OF THE KING from TEAM DOGWARTS

Please stop mentioning the Blue Stalker in our comments. They have caused a lot of distress for the Exterra community, no matter how “sexy” they are or “how many bitches” they get.

Once again, we condone voter fraud, but we draw the line at spamming our polls with links to the enemies to lovers Blue Stalker x Red King fic.

🎇 thestarsweremadeforus Follow

OFHHDFJSJDJS ITS HERE!!! DIVORCE POST!!! HAND VS KING the boyfriends are fighting!!!

Not gonna lie I was so absorbed in the potential hilarity of this matchup that I failed to realise I have to vote for someone now. I’m. Im genuinely torn 😭😭😭

💄 gaysloveqoh Follow

stop saying treebark is divorcing when they BOTH are on qoh’s side 😭 they’re united in their respect for our queen 😤

anyways idk what to do now that blueballs is out. anyone wanna make an alliance with the ballgurls 🥰

🦇 starshipspachelbel Follow

You’re right, the gays DO love qoh (gays being treebark)

This is so cruel, putting the king against his loyal hand… I am drowning, there is no sign of land, you are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand…

#RKSWEEP though (I say with tears in my eyes)

👽 blueballs Follow

sorry but the blue stalker DOES get all the bitches 😎 more sexyman energy than xisuma exterra void anyway

anyways im endorsing red king LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO

👑 princeofhearts Follow

To the #HEARTSWEEP people mourning their loss, why vote for [deadname] when you can vote for his transitioned self, the Hand of the King? Stop being so fixated on [deadname], he’s still RK’s gunner 😭

Btw the ship wars between RK x Hand vs RK x QoH are so stupid like the Hand and QoH are the same people???? Some miraculous laserbug love square type of bullshit? Anyways I support the prince of hearts 🙏

🍬 gunnerwithashotgun Follow

@/princeofhearts ur a freak, stfu!!! queen of hearts and hand of the king are TOTALLY different ppl (they have different bioneos colours) and ur being lumianphobic by thinking theyre the same even tho they're just the same SPECIES (they even have different cultures like the hand keeps on roasting rk for calling tuski "pearl" bc that's the way qoh learned it??)

🪓 handoftheking Follow

I’m adding “not False Symmetry / Queen of Hearts” to my bio. Like, she’s super cool, but I’m unfortunately not her.

Anyways, vote for me over that old man. You’re not letting a potato win, right?

💫 concorp-official Follow

Vote for the Red King! Show a screenshot that you voted for him at any ConCorp intergalactic outlet and receive a 5% discount, effective today!

⏳ rensanddaddy Follow

NOT THE OBVIOUS BRIBERY FROM MR CUB HIMSELF.... we need to vote harder for the Hand!! Just look at his blonde ass hair and blue dishwasher detergent freckles!! He's so pathetic and a meow meow and I want to lovingly crush him against the walls of a spaceship (im not the blue stalker i promise)

🐙 doctagon Follow

... guys. i. The actual Exterra official account on twt sent out the link to this poll?? The ACTUAL account?? We've breached so many layers of containment???????

🪓 handoftheking Follow

... Okay, that miiiight be my fault? It's good PR for us, right? We're the two sexiest racers in the Exterra industry on the podium together. It's good for our image, and maybe people will FINALLY stop truthing I'm transgender QoH

🌲 dilfkisser Follow

I hope we get a perfect 50/50 tie. I want homoerotic RK and his homoerotic Hand to both win. I want them to stand on the podium and make out while holding a pride flag while BlueBalls beatboxes in the shadows. I hope we all win. (Except the transgender lumian theory believers, go touch some stardust)

[hildcit]

introduction? Sure :p

Probably is about time I make one :p

Hi visitor! o/

I'm Hild | she/they | Norwegian | 27 💚

Welcome to my little corner on this website! Hope you enjoy your stay :p

Honestly? I'm reblogign whatever i feel like here. sure Hermitcraft & trafficblr and Sanders Sides has been among the things i've been up to the most here, but be assured there will be bunch of other things as well from time to time (multifandom n tumblr things in general).

Do not at all feel scared to like or reblog or dive into old, old posts btw, i just think it's fun whenever i see someone take a deep dive in my (mainly) reposts

Tags n other things under the cut:

WIP...

This is mainly for me to help keep track of things, but does gives a good idea of the type of stuff you can expect from here so ye :p

* Note this is not even close to perfect or anything, but I'm making an attempt at making my blog navigatable somewhat at least xp

⭐Sanders Sides

#TSS #ts analysis #fam ILY #ts Roman #ts Orange #ts Janus #ts Remus #ts Patton #ts Logan #ts Virgil #ts Thomas #ts Nico #ts Emile #ts Sleep

(+ more. And indeed, went full rainbow xD)

⛏️Hermitcraft

#HC #hcs7 #hcs8 #hcs9 #hcs10 #xisuma #Zedaph #False #iskall #cubfan #ijevin #Docm #Stress #Keralis #hypnotizd #xbcrafted #tfc #Wels #VintageBeef

#Etho #Gem #impulseSV #Tango #ZombieCleo #Mumbo #Rendog #Bdubs #Grian #Pearl #Joel #Skizz

🚦Trafficblr/Life Series

#trafficblr #3rd life #llsmp #dlsmp #limlife #slsmp

#Smajor #Martyn #Bigb #ldshadowlady #SolidarityGaming

What We Do In The Shadows

#wwdits ##Guillermo #Nandor #nadja #laszlo #colin robinson #the guide

#J&H #G/T #animals #aos smp

💚Posts I made myself!!

(yes, I've not rly been making a lot of posts, I'm aware, also why i put it so low :p ) #My Things

[jalo-parker]

Ok I'm making an official post for Estrials. (or well official until I make a better one)

Everything below cut so I don't make anyone scroll past the novel length (/hj) post I'm about to make when they're just trying to browse their dash :]

Alright so Estrials! They're a species I made up (though they are definitely inspired by some other things like atla cause of the elemental abilities) and they can be anthro, feral, or even like catboy esque(?) (for the lack of a better term) (an example of what I mean would be my sona)

Heres some examples of existing Estrials (in order: my sona (he/it/pup) (small child edition), evil xisuma (little creature and non little creature forms), jimmy (again little creature and non little creature forms), amd bigb (only little creature form i still need to draw his more humanoid one) gotta love bigb and his little sweater) (also ex is part voidwalker too which is why he looks so different from the others, so like yeah you go combine Estrials and another species that would be epic)

If you're still here, now I'm going to tell you how to make your own! (please do I beg I want more little creatures in the world)

Ok so, they are an open species, though there are a few rules (both like actual rules and trait rules so you stay in line with the species)

-First rule: don't be a dick. I will revoke your Estrial rights if you're not a decent person (no like actually I can't take your character but I can make a list of no good icky people so other Estrial fans know not to interact with you)

-2nd rule: have fun! No really I'm not going to be an evil overlord about people making Estrials. Just enjoy yourselves and be kind to others

-3: more of me just saying this than a rule but you can totally have more than one Estrial! Make like 50 of you want I really don't care

Now rules for like traits and stuff

-1: your Estrial has to have some sort of wings (preferably feathered ones but you can do bug or bat wings if you want) (mechanical wings are also cool! Especially if they're meant to be like a prosthetic or something that would be sick) and some sort of horns (literally any horns idc go wild) you can have any number of these traits too

-2: only one elemental ability per Estrial please (or none at all, you can make an element-less Estrial if you want) there's only one Estrial that has more than one elemental ability and he's not even really an Estrial (it's my sona, it's complicated and lore related don't ask unless you want a novel length reply full of lore)

-3: they have to be either based off of some sort of canine or some sort of feline, though you can totally add features from other things (ex: lizards or fish or deer idk) as long as the base creature that has most of the features showing (so like the main body and head I guess?) is a canine/feline you're good (so like the tail, legs, and even ears can be some other creature if you want) (i actually have one that isnt shown here that has a fish tail and some fins kinda like vaporeon. So really, go wild)

-4: any patterns and colors are ok, so yeah make that sparkle dog looking thing !! Go wild, be free my friends. Make the shadow the hedgehog Estrial (no actually you totally could)

Ok no more rules! Info time 😈😈

-Estrials can be any size that's bigger than like a small dog (so like chihuahua ish or bigger) and smaller than a horse (yippee big creature)

-The anthro and catboy(?) Estrials can be any human height btw (anthros can be a little smaller than humans too as a treat)

-They can have any length of fur (so yeah you could make a hairless one, I'd actually be real interested to see that someone do it before I do) and be from any region (hence the different fur lengths. Some of them live in real cold places and have to be real fluffy to keep warmth in, and some live in warmer places and have a lot less fur to cool off easier)

-All Estrials can hide their wings (like magic poof they're gone completely and then poof they're back now) and the catboy(?) ones can sometimes hide all their Estrial features (so like their nose, horns, ears, wings, and tails)

-I'm leaving a whole lot up to interpretation so like go wild I guess. Just don't do anything too weird.. I don't want strange things associated with my species..

Ok now the big thing: elemental abilities

So we have 5 elements + no element (though I'm kinda thinking of adding a 6th.... maybe..). Every Estrial falls under one (and only one) of these categories, though their power levels can vary (so like some fire Estrials can only do tiny poofs of flames and others can have like whole fire tornados going on)

Fire, water, air, earth, and plant

They all overlap with others a little too

-Fire Estrials can bend/control/whatever you want to call it magma, lava, fire, and lightning. They can also heat things up, which does mean they can heat other elements enough to somewhat control those (so like heating metal until it's molten and being able to shape it, or heating water enough that it turns into steam. Though steam is a lot harder for fire Estrials to control) though they lose that ability once the element cools off again

-Water Estrials can bend things like water, ice, some gasses (if the gas has a liquid state at a reasonable temperature. So like not things that require to have subzero temps to be liquids like oxygen), and any other liquids (not including molten things if you count those as liquid).

-Air Estrials can control all gasses (unless they need to be superheated to be a gas) and air. They can also definitely move things with air, so like sandstorms and using lots of wind to lift and move big objects. They can even control the weather a bit because of this (though water Estrials also kinda can. They can make it rain at least) by blowing storms around (including hurricanes and tornados, though they can also cause them too)

-Earth Estrials can control anything that's made of some sort of metal or mineral. So like glass (even if it's not molten, they can still change its shape, though they can also control molten glass) any rock, and all kinds of dirt (including compost in case you were wondering. So like if its considered dirt they can control it)

-Plant Estrials can control all plants. And can move things using plants. And can grow plants. Idk what you want from me the name is kinda self explanatory.. they can also grow plants in their fur (or hair if you have a catboy(?) Estrial) (again I don't really know what else to call them..) this does include stuff like coral, mold, and fungus btw so go wild with your biohazard mold guy (omg Ethan Winters ??? Somebody call crumb immediately) (that is a joke do not call crumb cuptoast just because I referenced Ethan Winters..) (though crumb if you somehow see this hiiii you can make an Ethan Winters Estrial, that would be so sick actually)

That's about it for now! If you have any questions feel free to ask away by commenting, dming me, asking them in the reblogs, sending an actual ask, hell you could even dm me on another platform like twt or something idc. Also, if you make one Please.. please show it to me.. I will be so incredibly happy if I saw your Estrial.. as a treat, for me.. please.. (also do credit me for the species if you post about them. You could just tag me or do like a @/jalo-parker just as long as my user is there you're good)

Ok, bye bye now have a good day :DDDD

[autistic-evil-xisuma]

1, 7, 12 for the hater ask game? 👀

1. the character everyone gets wrong

XISUMA. GOD DAMN. Ohhhhh everyone wants a stoic leader who oversees everything for their god damn fics so they just write him in like that without any understanding of him as a person or just. How hermitcraft works in general. screaming from the rooftops XISUMA ISN'T IN CHARGE OF SHIT!! the hermits make decisions collectively! Xisuma is often an organizer, and the main (but not the only!!) admin, but that doesn't make him The One In Charge .. ugh. Begging people to let Xisuma be goofy and silly and oblivious. Do not be tricked into thinking this guy has a clue what's happening at any time. He makes his tea in the oven using his bare hands.

it is however canon that xisuma is the one with the body bag! 💕

[ID: minecraft chat messages.

Xisuma: did someone say dead body?

Xisuma: do i need to get the bag again?

Xisuma: Tango

/End ID]

but no one wants to write about that, huh 🙄 /j

idk it's just really irritating the xisuma Ao3 tag being full of fics where he's just a flat side character for plot purposes. pls either give him some real personality or don't tag him when he's not a major character. you know :(

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

i have been wracking my brain for an answer on this but i honestly can't really think of one in any of my current interests. ive gotten really really good at the talent of keeping my mental version of characters firmly separate from fandom versions that i hate lmao

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

ok i feel like "unpopular" might have been meant as in disliked? here but I'm interpreting it My Own Way.

and THE DREAMER.!! yeah i Know we have like 2 scraps of information about them but they're just. ouuu so interesting to me. I just want to see more theories headcanons etc about who they are, what they are, where they came from, what are their motivations in aiding this soggy miserable excuse for an evil clone in their psychological war against dionysus's evil minion!! i have my own (not at all canon based) little thoughts about them, but. They're just someone I want to see more people go crazy about. As it is i can think of... 2 people who have posted anything about them, ever..yeag.

(im talking about th3pooka animations btw casper. sorry 💛)

ask game

[mcyt-daycare]

Nylon: He looks around the supplies before he settled with some pencils and glitter pens, we grabs a peiece of paper to start drawing. He looks at X after a few seconds. Mr X, um can I ask you of something?

(Your doing just fine, think of it like this ->Voi(they)/Void(them)/Voir(their)/Voirs(theirs)/Voidself(themself)<- I'm thinking about getting Nylon to learn to read, thats what the question about btw)

Xisuma: Yea, what's you question?

(Thank you!!)

[helsex-moved]

Hey there! sorry if i'm late to your one post asking people to ask you about your helsex headcannons but I have a question anyway. How did their relationship change (if at all) after ex was sent to the void. Love ur art btw

Anon I promise you it is never too late, I'm always wanting people to talk to/ask me about helsex 🙏🙏

This is a really good question but it does present a littleee problem in the way that I do NOT like to think about actual timelines in my lore so...I'm not sure if Hels even would have been around at that point?

If I remember correctly my first draft lore he's wandering around the nether for years before finding Hermitcraft in season 7 which is of course when he has the rap battle with Wels so no he wouldn't have been around

But that's not a fun answer so I'll tell you what I think would happen if he had been

Absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say, and Hels doesn't realize what he had until it was gone.

It takes her long nights spent awake to untangle why exactly it's so deeply devastated, but when he does all the hurt turns to anger. Hatred for the hermits and Xisuma who sent Ex to such a fate.

So he becomes more destructive, more violent, perhaps she thinks if she's terrible enough he can get banned too and join them in whatever limbo exists there at the bottom of the void.

But it never happens. Wels would never let it happen and takes responsibility for Hels' actions, fixing what it breaks and stopping his rampages when needed. Hels hates him too for this.

But finally, one day, Ex is back. And all Hels' evil plans are put on hold as he never leaves Ex's side.

They can't be how they were before, they're scarred both literally and psychologically but Hels is there and she is patient. They don't know what they are to each other now but maybe it doesn't matter so long as they're together.

[wixelt]

Can you give a recap of who you’ve planned out goes where/does what and ends with who and a recap of who you’re still working on?

Also, do you plan to make this an actual story or just plan out what happens and retell it?

(I love this AU btw, kudos to you for your worldbuilding/storytelling skills! The fact you plan to have a plot line for all members alone earns you some major respect.)

Not going to recap every story detail so far as that'd take me all day (maybe another time :P), but for a brief of where planning for each Hermit's worked out to:

False, Grian, Scar (& Jellie), Mumbo & Xisuma have significant plot details laid out for Seasons 1-2, & I have ideas of where most of them go after that barring X.

Pearl, BDubs, Jevin, Beef, Cub & maybe Doc have start points/reunions. How much is planned after that varies, though.

I have an idea of where Gem turns up. It's tentative & wouldn't see her appear til mid-Season 2.

Someone suggested a start for xB at one point that I recall liking, but it was a PM & I can't find it anymore.

Cleo's arc up to mid-Season 3 is known, at this point. Not much planned beyond that, though.

TFC's actions for the entire AU are decided, assuming I still use him. Unsure what the respectful course of action is.

Impulse, Etho, Iskall & Joe have isolated bits but no real planned movement through the AU, right now.

I had an idea of where Joe would first appear, but don't know if it gels with current plans, anymore.

Stress, Zedaph & Tango appear repeatedly, but lack start points or anything tying it all together.

I still need to plan Keralis, Hypno, Ren (as False has almost certainly mentioned her best friend to Anne), Wels & xB.

Also Ex, maybe.

My plans are loose & I don't necessarily have ends or extensive arcs worked out for a lot of Hermits. This is why I enjoy fielding asks, as they help me to come up with interesting things for the Hermits to do that play back into some of the bigger ideas. :P

As far as an actual story goes, it crossed my mind at one point but I realized i'd burn myself out. The AU will mostly stay in this format, but I do want to write snippets like the one with Sasha & Jellie (which I still need to write the 2nd part of) when the inspiration strikes. :)

(Glad you're enjoying the AU. I like trying to make an interesting world/story, even when i'm not sure of some details. It's my goal to have most Hermits do something of consequence, even if I don't know what, yet, as it'd be easy to hyper focus 2 or 3 members - something I did to start with with & am trying to lean away from. :D)

[darubyprincx]

Hello I would like to hear you ramble. What’s on your mind?

I care about you so much thank you for doing this one little thing. you are genuinely one of the sweetest people in our life right now and i do not thank you enough for it

i'm thinking about how some of my favorite characters would act while sleepy

naturally of course this means My Usual Set Of Blorbos but ok. let me explain further.

if you fall asleep next to or generally nearby someone, that generally belies that you trust them to not hurt or kill you while you're at your most vulnerable. also a person can be guessed on how generally uptight/anxious they are by how quickly they can get to sleep, with obvious differences and caveats to this of course

some very quick notes on this feat. some of the guys we often have thoughts about

xisuma generally just doesn't have any serious feuds or enemies. like he's just not the sort of guy to start something serious with someone and especially not if they'd like, fuckin' murk him over it while in close proximity (the EX arc in s8 is an outlier here but i might discuss that later. might not. dont have many coherent thoughts on this. idk)

we have held for a while, though, that he Does often stay up late working (paperwork is no joke! it fucking sucks!) and so often falls asleep in random places, like at the table while working or even while standing up a few times in the kitchen. he's just the sort of guy who can do that but also it just sucks like imagine waking up and oh my god how long have i been standing here my legs HURT christ above i didn't even pause my music jeez!

one time doc walked in on him in the "asleep standing up in the kitchen" state at like 4am because doc doesn't sleep being a creeper hybrid and just. carried him to the couch and dropped him off there. doc is one of the only people who can do that sort of thing because he's just built like that physically btw. i like to think that x still has no idea how that happened to this day

(Hmngh,) Pibble Riffs

i think s2 pix also stays up late working but since he also gets a lot of naps during the day this doesn't matter. his sleep schedule is just eternally fucked and he's accepted this. the emperors get a lot of messages sent at 4am from him, but they all know this man is just Like That and don't worry about it too bad

archeologist pix can sleep Anywhere. i mean anywhere. he holds that the ground is actually hella comfortable if you're used to it and he's also been spotted just sleeping on solid rocks in the middle of caves in a place where no mobs can reach him

s1 pix has anxiety and only sleeps during the day due to Desert so usually the nonhuman emperors are on standby to drop by if he has like. an anxiety attack at 2:30 AM or whatever.

jimmy, opening his door: i brought blankets and chocolate pix, curled up in bed in a fetal position: [mumbled] thanks jimmy, pull up a chair: the horrors again? pix: yeah jimmy: you realize you can't eat chocolate lying down right pix, sighing and sitting up: i know

many thoughts. this ramble was sponsored by My Nickname Isn't Sleepy Boy For No Reason, Y'all

[stitchthesewords]

Hi hello that new story is rotating at rapid speeds. For once Grian is the one who doesn’t remember? I ADORE that. Scar being Fate is so so cool. Of course he would be the one holding them together while watching them fall apart. It just works.

And Mumbo knows? Did you specify how he knows? I was too in shock about Scar trying not to let their strings break and being literal Fate. How many times has Scar had to explain this to Grian? How many times has he not remembered? What made this time different for him to WANT to be reminded?? So few words have sparked so many questions. I am so here for this au.

Yeeeees I really wanted to play on the idea of Grian Knowing about the Life Games and change the rules - Like. He's still a Watcher - but I'm thinking in this au, if it weren't for SCAR huh, huh, he WOULD only be Watching the Life Games. Scar [And, Mumbo] have an incompatible set of....idk. Godliness???????? Magic????/ And it overrides Grian's Watcher abilities methinks. I'm still ironing that one out. Also poor Scar, someone get this man a cookie, he's desperately holding everyone together [Well - him and Cub, I imagine the Vex thing also being a cover up for disappearing for long stretches of time to Fix Strings{which, btw, I think they only mend them for a certain amount of time or for a number of tears EXCEPT for Grian and Scar and Mumbo bc the man can be a little be selfish and desperately cling onto his soulmates if he wants to}]

So here's what I'm thinking with Mumbo [And Xisuma and Etho] - they are a trio called colloquially as the Brothers of the Void - they themselves don't have a name, but if Scar upkeeps the strings of fate, they upkeep all forms of the Void - The End, the Overworld, the Nether, and this sort of between lives that Scar maintains, along with the afterlife. Mumbo specifically is the Overworld and the realm Fate occupies [which is how and why redscape is already A Thing.]. Xisuma is the End and Etho is the Nether I think, and I think one controls the afterlife and maybe one controls the like. Before??? Life???? idk man I'm spinning them in a salad spinner rn.

Scar and Grian don't have this convo EVERY time Grian dies, I imagine most deaths are pretty mundane because like, hermitcraft as a server [Which, this world is sort of The Game Minecraft but not. Like, they respawn? But its not like a game. Its like they just die and wake back up usually, even Scar or Mumbo. Different servers and worlds are just different universe bubbles people can travel between,,,somehow?] but Grian's participation in the Life Games as the Creator of them is...maybe in direct defiance of Fate itself thanks to Scar. Grian made them to feed his Watcher powers maybe?? and like yes he KNOWS that its Bad to kill/watch his friends die but he has to do something or he'll....idk fade out of existence???? And Scar, being mildly grumpy at having to participate maybe dragged Grian into it himself and so I think every death in the Life Games holds this sort of weight to it. Where Grian wakes up in this place he doesn't belong and won't remember and then flickers back to respawning like he's supposed to. Except - he never remembers, and Scar isn't usually there at the same time, so it's only maybe...once or twice? They've crossed each other's paths. Maybe the last death in every life game. Like maybe Scar waited for him in 3rd life and uhhh im ngl i do not remember the order in which they died in last life it's been a minute B U T regardless.

The thing that's different, I think, is watch Scar literally for their bond back fron the brink, watching him mend it, weave the fibers back together, force them to hold strong, refuse to lose Grian like this. Because, idk, I don't know about you but if I watched the dude who I definitely have a deep and profound love for I was just soulbonded to fight to keep our REAL soulbond together I would absolutely be like "find me and tell me".

[quaranmine]

im not into hermitcraft, not even the slightest bit, but i logged off of tumblr for 3 days to return to the hermitcraft world being lifted towards the moon??? That grows big?? ?And theres a cult??? Around the moon???? Big Moon???? Something about a company too??? I think they hate the glare guy. he looks like he has zero thoughts constantly.. .But why sleep deprived skins??? Do yall need therapy holy shit-

(btw ur not obligated to explain, im just so lost and i think its very funny not knowing any of the context)

oh anon 😭 this is so funny here I'll try to give a short breakdown. if you want to continue to not know context you can skip it. honestly you may end up more confused anyway though!! yes the hermitcraft server is going through it and it seems we're hurtling towards the apocalypse at a rapid pace. it may possibly happen next week. multiple people are, like, fleeing the planet since it seems doomed. so:

1. Moon is big because it is moving closer to earth. It seems like it will crash into the server.

1a. Tango is trying to set off an explosion on the moon to put it back in its original orbit. mumbo wanted to blow up the moon but failed.

1b. keralis is inexplicably in space and has been for months despite being seen by the server more recently than that, and i for one am really interested in knowing if this is like, a hallucination? or a clone? or an alien? is keralis just Like That? bdubs can also apparently travel to space regularly. this is not explained

2. The moon being so close is affecting gravity. Everyone seems to have permanent flow falling and jump boost. The blocks that were being picked up and dropped back down are now just flying off into space and not returning so the ground is littered with holes (although not really from an out-of-story perspective). there's also a lot of earthquakes. basically, it looks and feels like the world is literally disintegrating around them

3. the Mooners is a...group (cult) created by Mumbo worshipping "The Great Lunar Neighbor." Mumbo was convinced that they had angered the moon by sleeping the night away, and that if they all stayed awake they would please the moon.

4. hence, the sleep deprived skins of everyone who joined the mooners who didn't sleep for days. also, they made the phantoms laugh and recorded hallucinations for each other. they are dedicated to the bit. impulse built a sanctuary for the phantoms since they're "friends." pearl is having a sleepover <3

4a. the one who wants bdubs (glare guy) dead is scar. he only joined the mooners so he could specifically murder bdubs. bdubs is known for always sleeping ASAP (the exact thing the mooners is against) but i think scar would have murdered him no matter what because he's just Like That

4b. cub thinks one of the paintings in the game (a moon with a flaming skull) is a prophecy, apparently. also scar is being a perfect little scamming capitalist and fleecing everyone in exchange for getting on a rocket to escape the planet

5. there's also a mind controlling moon rock that ren and doc have been killing hermits and sacrificing their heads to it. also, the hermitcraft server may be a simulation according to ren and doc's lore. frankly I don't think I could explain hermatrix lore to you but it's an arg basically that is being solved by the community as episodes release and seems to influence this lore

6. the moon being closer also seems to be interfering with evil xisuma's magical powers, causing xisuma to start to break free from mind control he's been under all season? at least based on what I hear on tumblr, im not caught up on X right now. basically the whole evil empire is yet another plot thread woven in that connects in places! also there was an animation on one of X's videos a few months ago with some hels (evil) hermits in it and I'm still wondering about that too

7. i don't think i even have to answer this they ALL need therapy. we all need it too

[square-milk]

The Hermatrix, The Mind, and The Body

Alrighty bitches and bastards time for a big brain from yours truly

So, everyone who's watched Doc and/or Ren's videos *or* kept up with the whole Hermatrix storyline knows season 8 was. a simulation

It's unclear to me if this was canon for EVERYONE or not but in this post, we will be assuming it is (otherwise it'd be pointless)

so, the mind. it's a very powerful thing. I'd know it keeps trying to convince me of things I know aren't real like a bitch- anyways the mind is VERY powerful (continue below the cut)

And you wanna know something the mind can do when it's convinced of something? Make it real for your body! It can replicate things like pain if you're in heavy enough emotional hurt so; here's an idea

what if each ending actually had an AFFECT on the hermits

Boatem crew had lasting effects from their mind's version of the void, Tango had to adjust from his minds version of space atmosphere to *real* atmosphere, Xisuma would need to be constantly warm because his body had adjusted to the head of the nether his mind simulated, so on and so fourth

I also have an add on headcanon based on how time passes when you're unconscious. Five seconds real world can be 10 minutes in the mind scope

I think the only hermits spared from this *could* be the ones who died (Keralis, Bdubs, possibly Joe idk I don't watch or know what his end was) excluding ones with deaths like Tangos because while yes he was flung into space by TNT he didn't *instantly* die which means at best he slowly suffocated in the cold vacuum of space or at worse was stuck in the void with no sense of time and no companions(basically what the Boatem crew could of suffered if the void was just a little bit crueler)

You could honestly make a really neat AU with this concept, and I might! (I'm a sucker for found family type healing over time okay) I'll be perfectly fine if you use my idea btw but I ask you tag me or send it to me so I can see it!

[lily-the-leopard]

hermitcraft and thirdlife get a fandom tag and not dsmp bc dsmp fandom cant be trusted to fandom tag properly, like genuinely can’t be trusted with its massive scale and young users

(also dsmp fans need to stop puts dts to tag wranglers in the tags for “doxxing the creators”, maybe then they’d get a fandom tag)

"last anon was /lh kinda, but genuine reason why dsmp doesnt have a fandom tag bc it fits ao3’s pre existing conditions for rpf. plus the fandom specifically for dsmp? its fairly new and peaked during this time ao3 has been making big changes to the site, like they’re creating a blocking function + more things and that takes more than a couple of months to plan and roll out this versus hermitcraft having a tag, hermitcraft fandom has been established for multiple years with a decent size fanbase to warrant it"

Oh boy nonny, this was certainly a take to wake up to, I'll be honest. I'll take you at your word and assume you really meant this to be light-hearted, so instead of throwing out the whole suitcase, lets unpack some of this! I think it's a conversation that's a bit overdue in my little corner of the internet. I am gonna put it under a cut though, because I had a lot to say and it got kinda long.

Right, so here's the thing. I get where you're coming from. This fandom is pretty young, you don't trust them. But if you've been on dsmpblr at all, you'd know this fandom is actually pretty good about tagging things! Like- better than some other fandoms I've been in! And I think it's funny that you'd bring 3rd life into this, because from what I know they lost their tag when ao3 realized it was being used for minecraft rp, it redirects to RPF just like the "Dream SMP" tag now.

I know it's frustrating when people use posts in the archive to complain. I've actually sent a ticket about this, which is the proper way to get ahold of staff, but I'm so tired of seeing real names thrown into the Dream SMP. You don't tag MCU fanfic with "Steve Rogers | Chris Evans" do you?? No, there's separate tags for RPF on so3 because we understand that characters are not their actors.

And I don't think the DSMP qualifies as RPF personally! I think if anything Hermitcraft should. I'm glad they got their own tag, don't get me wrong, I'm an HC fan as well. But the DSMP has an ongoing plot with characters that are different than the people playing them, moreso than HC where they largely play themselves. (This isn't to discount someone like Xisuma btw I think his lore is great, but as a whole they tend to do smaller plots, if any).

Also, the DSMP fandom is huge! I've been in fandoms much smaller than DSMP who have fandom tags. You know what got a tag before it had a major online presence? The Mechanisms. Had like five whole fics and it got a fandom tag. That's a band, by the way, doesn't use the RPF tag either because it's cabaret and they're playing characters.

Not to bring mechs fandom into this (god I hope this doesn't crosspost into your tags, I apologize), but nonny why does a band and another mc server get a tag, but a mc server that has established storylines spanning over a year get shoved into RPF with character tags sharing the real names of creators who only go by an alias??

And lastly. I know we've got a lot of kids here. But I'm not a kid. I was one, back in the day, pre-ao3. And I love the archive! It has its problems, this being one of them, but as a whole I'm glad we have a corner of the internet for ourselves.

I just wish I could actually filter RPF because I don't personally read it, and I can't do that unless we have a fandom tag.