#this isnt even everything i want to say but i feel DIZZY thinking about it for too long

[onismdaydream]

i think yuji would be so perfect for baby trapping 🤭 especially college aged yuji. like, he's probably fairly inexperienced with sex so i think convincing him to fuck you raw would be relatively easy. maybe even lie and say that you're on birth control so there's nothing to worry about. and because he's young and dumb, you would get him wrapped around your finger in an instant, he would do anything for you because he thinks he has to

[subskz]

hi! i just wanted to say, i’m a sub and i avoid sub skz stuff bc it’s not really my taste. i scrolled though the lee know smut tag like a few weeks ago, and i came across strawberry lemonade. i know i avoid sub skz, but i decided to give it a try anyways. and oh my god, i think that was the best decision i ever made. i haven’t read any sub skz fics because i figured that i probably wouldn’t like it, but i’m so glad that i gave it a try because honestly i think i’m kind of into it. the way you write is actually so delicious. your use of descriptions is actually scarily good like it was so easy to visualize it all, and like oh my god your descriptions sounded so hot. and the dialogue too…sooo good!! i loved how it transitioned from playfulness to something more, i don’t know, hot? idk the whole fic is just hot. all the teasing and calling him kitten?? oh my god. dragging the cold popsicle against his skin and then licking it up with the warmth of your mouth?? the sudden change in temperature is just so hot. and oh my god, putting the popsicle on his cock??

“You rolled the treat lower to emphasize your question, wedging it against his balls and making his cock spasm wildly,”

HELLO??? THE VISUAL?? imagination running wild. balls unfortunately don’t get enough love, so that line made me go a little crazy. and the way his cock spasms wildly because of it is so ridiculously hot. and even when you’re doing all of that, he still tries holding onto his pride, which is actually soo cute. and then wrapping your lips around his cock?? ughhh, if just doing it against his thighs got me going crazy, this one definitely got me going even crazier. the contrast in temperatures is <33333!! and using the popsicle where your lips didn’t cover?? you’re gonna be the death of me.

“Gradually, you built up a steady pace, timing the strokes of the popsicle with your mouth so that every inch of his dick was being stimulated at once. Hot and frigid, sloppy and smooth, like you were freezing his body over and setting it back on fire. It wasn’t long before the dizzying blend of sensations became too much for him to handle.”

i’ll let that paragraph speak for itself because holy shit was that hot as hell.

“Don’t make me beg for it.”

“But you sound so cute when you do.”

HELLLLOOOOOO?????????? ugh your writing is just so scrumptious!! oh my god and when he finally lets go of his pride and starts begging, it’s sooooo <333333

“The strawberry slush dissolved against your tongue, cooling the inside of your mouth to create an icy blend of saliva that was far too much for his hypersensitive body to handle.”

OH MY GOD. i’m in love. and the part where you stop just to make sure he doesn’t get hurt is just so adorableeee!! many fics are just pure smut with no feelings, so it’s absolutely lovely when you included this little bit that shows that you care about minho <33

“Even the popsicle lasted longer than you.”

PLEASEEEE i lost it at that omggg.

sjiwnfienenf this fic was a masterpiece. was it kinda unsanitary? yeah. but does that matter? absolutely not. i loved it omg. super hot. i stalked your blog afterwards. read almost everything, just need to find the time to start reading butterfly bandage and a few others.

also, i wanted to hear your thoughts on domming skz for the first time? but if you’re not comfortable writing switch reader, then maybe pegging for the first time? (reading “safe” made me lose my mind omg)

hello hello! first off i just have to say that your entire message has me in shambles oh my god i can’t believe how sweet u are!! 😭 thank you so much for all your kind and encouraging words, it means a lot to me that you liked it! esp since sub skz isnt ur usual cup of tea i’m delighted that you took a chance on strawberry lemonade n ended up enjoying it <33

the way u caught on to so many little details throughout the fic and immersed urself in the descriptions is incredibly touching to me, you really read w a keen eye i appreciate it so much!! even to the point of sharing lil excerpts that you liked and noticing the slight tone shift at the beginning…ur too kind ㅠㅠ the contrasting temperatures was kinda what inspired the whole thing so i’m glad to know u found that hot hehehe what better way to slowly chip away at lino’s pride right~ and yes!! i try to sneak in softer moments whenever i can to show some love for the boys, i’m very happy u took notice of that part and that it’s smth you value as well! 🥰

thank u again for taking the time to send such a lovely message u really brightened up my day!! butterfly bandage is a bit of a journey haha…if you do end up reading it i hope you’ll enjoy the ride angel 💗💗💗

as for ur question! yes i don’t do switch reader, but i think i could do smth like going from a vanilla relationship to domming skz for the first time if you’d like? either way, i’ll add first time pegging thoughts under the cut here ^_^

chan - so shy, so so shy. he’s extremely self-conscious abt it bc he feels guilty for wanting smth that, in his mind, is almost solely for his own pleasure instead of yours. he’s a lil giver who always wants to satisfy you first, after all! still, he can’t deny how bad he craves trying it, he definitely researches pegging on his own (shoutout deadpool) and gets off to the thought of it, then feels insanely embarrassed w himself after. he doesn’t have the courage to ask you outright, but since u know him well enough, it becomes pretty clear to you what he wants through his indirect roundabout channie ways of hinting at it. saying things like “ur always slapping my butt *giggle* why do u like it so muchhh~” or “i saw some videos the other day and um. yeah haha. i was like wow, ppl are into some pretty interesting things, yknow?” or ofc the infamous complaining abt how fat his ass is…lmao. and after one too many times of him fiddling w his ears and giving u hopeful glances as he stammers his way through dropping hints, you finally accept that this man is never gonna ask for it himself and decide to take initiative instead

when you do, he bursts into flames 😭 he tries desperately to play coy n oblivious, but it’s so clear how much the idea excites him w how he goes bright red, he’s not fooling anyone~ channie is such a good boy though. even if he’s nervous, he does his part to try and prep himself for you on his own, experimenting w fingering himself and even looking for the right toys to get him used to being opened up. he does whatever he can to be ready for you and make the process more convenient, but he’d definitely still need to ease into it little by little. starting w you fingering him so he can adjust to being filled up like that, testing out some smaller toys, then eventually leading into the actual pegging after a few days or weeks. he needs you to take it slow the first time, be very gentle w him! bc not only is it a bit nervewracking to try smth new, he also just feels kinda vulnerable and insecure abt it. needs lots of convincing that this is smth you want too, and that you get all the pleasure you need just seeing him blissed out and falling apart underneath you <3

he’s a flustered wreck the entire time, squirming and avoiding eye contact and covering up his body bc he feels way more exposed than usual sprawled out for you, leaking against his tummy w his legs spread. but no matter how embarrassed he is, he’s still so loud once youre inside him. if you thought he was noisy before, the sounds he makes as you start to thrust into him are like nothing you’ve ever heard before, and he wouldnt be able to contain them to save his life ㅠ his moans are so sweet, emotive, and grateful. with the way they spill out of him nonstop, it leaves no room for doubt in your mind that he’s feeling so good that all his misgivings have washed away. he tries his best to stay communicative so you know what he likes, that he’s still okay and comfortable, but once he fully adjusts to the rhythm and feel of your strap inside him he gets lost in it pretty quickly and has a hard time staying verbal. all he can really manage is a broken groans of “ah, good”, whimpering your name over n over and slurring out pleas for more, but those are more than enough to let you know that he’s enjoying himself~ it kinda dawns on him as he’s being drowned in all this pleasure how lucky he is to have you and how safe he feels in that moment, he might even start to cry if his emotions are running particularly high that day. he needs a lot of praise through it bc, again, he wants to be reassured that he’s doing well for you when all of the focus is on him like that; it’s one of the few times he won’t religiously try to deflect all ur compliments. i think he’d wanna be in missionary despite his shyness, bc he wants to feel close to you. he’ll be hiding behind his hands or unable to hold your gaze most of the time, but he still wants to be face to face with you for kisses and soothing touches <3 he’ll definitely wrap his legs around you when he’s close to pull you in deeper, like he’s worried you might stop. or he’ll tug needily at your arm to pull you down against his chest, begging you to hold him as he comes undone. aside from the emotional intimacy of the position, he also feels a lil relieved that he can bury his face into your shoulder and hide away. if you pinned his hips down the mattress to steady him while he cums, he’d go absolutely wild. later down the line, he’d be very open to you fucking him rougher. he’d esp love for you to “mahandle” him a lil bit. even if he’s bigger/stronger than you, he gets such a thrill from feeling kinda helpless as he’s bent and folded and tossed around into any position you want. he’ll crumble instantly under your hands, just to hear you call him a good boy for obeying so eagerly <3 but despite that secret desire in him, for his first time i definitely think he’d need it to be soft!

lino - curious kitty #1…he is most definitely interested in trying it out. one of the hungriest for it out of all the boys, actually, and he’s honestly a lil frustrated that you haven’t suggested it yourself yet. bc though he can be pretty shameless abt asking to try new things, he also doesn’t wanna risk the blow to his pride if you reject the idea. his version of dropping hints is literally just staring holes into the back of ur head, hoping his telepathic signals will reach you and you’ll just know what he wants without him having to say it, bc god forbid he looks desperate in front of you (he is, but you dont need to know that). if you don’t bring it up yourself, eventually he runs out of patience and just deadpans it to you one day that he wants to try pegging, but he frames it as a joke just in case so he can giggle in ur face n act like he didn’t mean it if you aren’t into it lol. if you’re the one to suggest it, his heart kinda flutters bc lino really wants to be wanted by you. he wants you to go crazy over the thought of him writhing in pleasure underneath you, to see how pretty he looks getting fucked so you become just as hooked on it as him and ask yourself why you didn’t do this sooner. he definitely plays up his seductive behavior around you to try and get you to initiate it like the sneaky lil kitty he is

though he acts all fussy n huffy as if he’s doing you a favor, he’s actually very thoughtful behind the scenes just like channie. he tries to prep himself in private and does a lot of research on how to do it safely and properly for the first time. partially to make things easier for you, and partially so he can blow u away w how much of a “natural” he is heh…despite what he leads you to believe, he really wants to please you, too, even if he’s very adamant abt being pampered. he absolutely 1000% sucks your strap before you fuck him. even if he’s never done it before, he treats it like a must, and the way he works his mouth would make you believe he’d been doing it his entire life. he wants to show you what he can do for you too, kinda like he’s reminding you of why he deserves to be fucked so well in the first place~ given how experimental he is, you’ve probably already tried fingering w him before so it’s not smth entirely new to him, but the complete fullness he feels once you inch your strap all the way in is like nothing he could’ve ever prepared himself for. he gets obsessed w it instantly, both the pleasure that’s so intense in an entirely different way, and the whole new lvl of intimacy it brings to your dynamic

he tries to keep quiet at first, just letting out cute little grunts and hitched breaths as he gets used to the stretch. but the moment you start to consistently bottom out inside him, you’re in for the prettiest, most angelic sighs n moans you've ever heard from him. he might wanna start out in missionary bc he likes the eye contact and he feels more comfy being able to see you…he will be looking directly into ur soul w the most intense, sultry gaze that shows how much he really trusts you, it’s very hot in its own way hehe. that, coupled w the way his thick thighs wrap around you to urge you in deeper, tell you everything you need to know abt how much he loves it, even if he refuses to admit it outright. the faces he makes and the sight of him rocking his hips to match your movements are mind-numbing…he’s a dancer after all, he’s got very good muscle control and knows exactly how to move when he really wants to put on a show <3 as the pleasure picks up though, he gets a lil too drunk on it and becomes needier n needier, you can tell his composure is slipping as he starts to shake more w each thrust. he’s so focused on feeling good that he forgets abt his pride and starts whining for more, for you to go deeper, harder, faster. that’s how you end up in doggy style w him grinding himself down on your strap to meet each rock of your hips, grateful that he can whimper and drool into the pillows instead of letting his cries ring out in full volume. he’s usually pretty good at holding his noises back if he really wants to, but when you’re filling him to the brim over and over like that, there’s no chance for him to keep quiet. he’d love it if you squeezed n kneaded his thighs until deep imprints were left behind for days afterwards. and if you reach out to play w his nipples from behind or hook your fingers into his mouth, pulling his head back and making him salivate all over them as you repeatedly hit his prostate just right, he may just cum on the spot

binnie - w binnie, i can see it going either way when it comes to who suggests it first! he can be a lil clueless and detached from the world sometimes so he may not even really know what pegging is until u explain it to him. the way his face would change as you go into detail would be so adorable, he’s all nervous nose scrunches and awkward squirming. you can physically see how excited the idea gets him, and he’s down for it almost immediately. he’s honestly pretty flattered that you want him that way hehehe typical binnie, it fuels his lil leo heart like nothing else even if he’s a bit embarrassed over the idea of being in such a vulnerable position in front of you. he’d definitely end up looking up things like “how to look cool and sexy but also cute while getting pegged” as his version of preparation lol. if he’s the one to ask you for it, he’s so so endearing abt it. strangely quiet and timid, ducking his head, shuffling his feet as he struggles to mumble out the question…he’s literally one step away from sinking to the floor and covering his face once he manages to stammer the words. he gives you the most irresistible pout when you tease him for it, if you rest your hands on his hips n tell him how pretty he’s gonna look filled up w you, he will melt instantly. literally weak in the knees over just the thought of it, suddenly he's ready for you to take him right then n there hehe. lots of dramatic whines and swatting shyly at your shoulder through the entire process, bc even if he thrives off your attention, he’s still a teensy bit of a tsundere when he gets so much of it <3

his anticipation is obvious w the way he’s watching everything you do w wide, starry eyes and wiggling around constantly in the sheets. but even so, he tries to put on a brave front bc he wants to impress you, show you how good of a boy he can be for you! when you first push into him you’d get a lot of nervous babbling though 😭 he goes from “don’t hold back, i can take it” to “ah wait wait wait it’s big, slow down” to “it actually d-doesn’t feel that—moans” to “faster please, harder please, deeper please” he gets so talkative and vocal over every little move you make like he’s narrating his thoughts, it’s so cute. esp when you thrust into him extra good and suddenly he shuts all his rambling up w a sharp, high-pitched moan. he is so ridiculously whiny too, esp if you start to make playful comments here n there abt how he’s being such a good boy, taking you so well, moving his hips so well, like his body was made to be fucked like this <3 it simultaneously makes him glow w pride and flusters him out of his mind bc he isn’t sure it’s normal how turned on the thought of being your pretty lil doll makes him (it might be too much for him during ur first time but if you eventually added breeding into the mix he’d lose it mind). like channie, he’s extra starved for your praise when you peg him, so showering him w compliments is a must!! even if they make him pout for you to stop embarrassing him, he isn’t very good at hiding how much he basks in it. drag your hands all over his body and fawn over how strong n beautiful it is, call him your pretty boy as you pull him closer by his hips to reach deeper inside him, murmur how irresistible he is right before you sink your teeth into his broad shoulders ❤️‍🔥 he will literally be making the filthiest, most shameless, wanton sounds you can imagine, and hearing them only turns him on even more. i think binnie definitely has a thing for listening to his own moans when he’s really far gone hehe it makes him feel so slutty in the best way…his voice gets so sweet and cute when you’re making him feels worlds of pleasure he’s never felt before, who could blame him for loving the sound of it, really. also…cup his chest as you get rougher w your thrusts and he’s a complete goner. esp if you squeeze his pecs together and tease him for how they’re so big that you have to hold them down bc they keep bouncing hehe. all it would take is leaning down to suck on his nipples and he’s cumming untouched

hyunjin - he is most definitely thinking abt it from the moment you two get together. it’s smth he wants so bad but if he had to say it out loud he may actually just die of sheer embarrassment, so he keeps it to himself no matter how much he craves it. the question of if you’ll ever bring it up w him is constantly on his mind, bc even if you’re in a d/s relationship, he isn’t sure if you’d be into that aspect of it n he’s worried you’ll think he’s weird for wanting it…hyune’s another shy one who can have a hard time voicing his desires outside of the bedroom ㅠㅠ i think the only surefire way you could really draw it out of him is in the middle of a scene or right after one, where his emotions are still running high and he’s completely controlled by his desire without any of his usual inhibitions, that’s where he tends to say things that he’d be too hesitant to say otherwise, then blush over it later. he might get too lost in the adrenaline rushing through his veins and starts moaning abt how he wants you inside him, to fuck him until he can’t remember his own name, to make him yours in every possible way. it’s very intense and sensual, and at first you wonder if he’s just saying these things in the heat of the moment. but when you ask him abt it afterwards, he suddenly gets so quiet and shy, burying his red face into your neck n mumbling that he can’t believe he said those things out loud </3 and his reaction is all the confirmation you need to know he meant every word~

hyune’s neediness will be battling it out w his awkwardness the entire time you’re prepping him. poor baby is very self critical and can’t stop thinking abt all the things that could go wrong—if you won’t enjoy it, if he’ll look weird, if his size will make it a lil awkward to navigate…you’d need to be very observant of him n pay close attention to his expressions to make sure he’s fully relaxed bc his emotions show all over his face! once your fingers slip inside of him though, he starts to let loose, you can tell by the way his voice rings out loud and clear, suddenly not having any care in the world other than how it feels to be stretched out by you. seeing him slip into that headspace that’s so vulnerable yet so passionate is always smth to marvel at ❤️‍🔥it’s no secret that jinnie is very good w his hips and he makes perfect use of that talent in this situation. he’ll end up grinding down desperately against your palm without even realizing it, rolling his entire body and begging for your strap before you’ve even had the chance to add a third finger n fully open him up. just like chan, his reservations go out the window the moment you actually push the toy inside of him. he makes the most insane facial expressions, eyes rolling back, plump lips swelling and coated w drool from how much he bites down on them, thick brows scrunching together…when his sleepy eyes are blown wide w lust it makes for the most gorgeous sight <3 and if that isn’t enough to tell you how good he’s feeling, he is also extremely vocal too. lots of needy whimpers and groans that are so stretched out you’d think he was exaggerating them. even if he’s bigger than you, he’ll let you toss him around like he’s completely weightless into any position you want, he’s like putty in ur hands. he’d go crazy if you pulled his legs up on your shoulders (speaking of…catboy anon once had the idea of hyune spraying perfume on his ankles so you can smell it when they’re up by ur head and…he absolutely would 😵‍💫 he’s so thoughtful n romantic even when youre putting him through the mattress) if you snaked your hand up his body while taking him from behind and wrapped your fingers around his throat, he would fall apart in a matter of seconds. especially if you pulled him back against your chest by his hair or throat and held him there

jisung - han jisung has been waiting for this moment his entire life 🙏 from the beginning he hardly makes it a secret how desperately he wants you to peg him, he’s probably the one who asks for it first! even if you also have it in mind, he’s so eager that he doesn’t even give you the chance to pose the question, he’s one step ahead of you. long before you two ever discuss the idea, he’s already become very familiar w fingering himself and using all kinds of toys on himself…baby’s got bad hehe. he might even already have a strap prepared bc he’s hopeful that one day he’ll get to try it w you…n he’s definitely gotten off to the thought of it countless times 😽 he’s honestly a lil shameless once he learns that you’re just as down as he is, but his reaction is so endearing. he goes from stuttering out the question through breathy, awkward chuckles, to perking up like an excited puppy when you respond positively. his eyes practically gleam and he breaks out into the widest, sunniest smile repeating “really? really really? like, seriously? you’re not making fun of me, right? i’ll get really sad if you’re just teasing”…w his big doe eyes n hopeful face, who wouldn’t give him anything his lil heart desires

he’s ready to go right away, you may actually have to stop him from running to go retrieve his strap and bring it to you right then and there 😭 he’s so grateful and so enthusiastic, neither of you really anticipates the sudden bout of shyness that inevitably hits him once you actually start to lead up into the pegging. he’s fingered himself plenty of times before, and that knowledge makes for the perfect opportunity for you to tease him a lil, telling him to finger himself open in front of you so you can see how he likes it slide into him w ease~ he whines like crazy but still does his best to obey…lying down n spreading his legs for you, unable to mask the neediest whimpers that build in his throat the more he pushes into himself, wishing it was you instead. though his face is burning w embarrassment, he also sees it as a good opportunity to appeal to you, too. he tries to show you a preview of how pretty he’ll look once you finally fuck him, playing out his moans and facial expressions to rile you up. eventually, though, his patience wears thin and he just starts begging for you to take over ): after all, poor hannie has done this alone far too many times, he needs you. he’s so ridiculously squirmy once you finally ease into him, to the point where you might have to hold him down or restrain him somehow so you can fuck him properly. it’s difficult for him to sit still no matter how hard he tries, he’s just so full of energy and reactive to every lil bit of stimulation, keening desperately when you pull out of him and gasping dramatically when you thrust back in all at once. he’s never felt this full in his life and he feels like he could sob from relief finally getting to experience it. he wants to try everything—one minute he wants you to take him softly n sensually, the next he wants you pounding into him. he’d keep begging for smth new every few minutes bc he’s so eager he’s just aching to try it all, like he might not get the chance to again. that goes for positions too; missionary, mating press, doggy, full nelson, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, etc. he esp loves riding you bc he feels like he’s putting on a show for you! he gets to bask in all your attention and praises as he bounces on your strap, not bothering to hold back his whines and moans in the slightest bc he knows how much you love them <3 if you could manage to hold him up against a wall and fuck him like that w his legs hooked around your waist, he would absolutely lose his mind, he likes being manhandled a lil bit too. he wants you to just completely wreck him in every way possible, to the point where he’s covered w hickeys and bite marks and can barely walk afterwards. he will most definitely try to subtly brag abt it to the other boys abt it the next day, complaining abt how sore he is and letting out cute, exaggerated noises of discomfort when he sits down or exerts himself too hard…he’s a lil proud of it hehe but if anyone actually points it out he’ll turn beet red and curl into himself, trying not to get turned on all over again from the mere memory of what you did to him

felix - curious kitty #2! in lix’s case, it’s not really a matter of if, but when. pegging is smth he’s always wanted to try out given how eager he is to explore every kink under the sun w you, to him it’s more a matter of whether or not you would be willing to. you both fall into the roles so naturally in a way he's longed for his entire life, and once that trust is established n fostered between the two of you, he’s more than ready to give you his all knowing that he’ll be safe n accepted w you <3 even if he's a lil reserved n awkward abt it, he really makes it no secret what he wants, and he has the added privilege of looking so unfairly innocuous even when asking you to do the wildest things to him…you never quite know what to expect from him next. he’s definitely experimented w fingering himself in the past, but bc his fingers are so small a lot of the time it’s difficult for him to hit the right angles or satisfy himself properly, so he just ends up even more frustrated and needy, wishing you were the one fucking him instead ):

lixie’s a very thoughtful boy just like chan and lino, he wants to make things go as smoothly as possible to show you how grateful he is that you would do this for him! but he ends up being pretty reliant on you through the whole process, he can’t help but look to you for guidance on every little thing so his tendency to overthink means you might have to coddle him a lil more than usual ㅠㅠ he’s so sweet and obedient though, literally the good boy of your dreams following each gentle command you give him w a giddy smile. like minho, he’d absolutely love to suck your strap beforehand, both as a way to get it nice n wet and to turn you on…do not fall for those big, angelic eyes looking up at you as he takes the toy as far down his throat as he can…he knows exactly what he’s doing ❤️‍🔥 it also eases his mind a bit to be able to do smth for you, he gets so into it he almost forgets what’s to come and would gladly keep going until his voice is hoarse. once you first enter him (w plenty of lube…i think lix would need it hehe) he’d also love to just stay that way for a bit and “cockwarm” you…he gets a lil sappy abt it and just wants to be in your lap, face to face w you nestled inside him as he adjusts to the stretch. w lots n lots of kissing!! eventually though he starts to get a lil squirmy, letting out soft lil grunts, and you can feel him growing harder where his cock is wedged between the two of you. so you grab hold of his waist and encourage him to start riding you <3 lix would be another one who loves positions where he can feel small, even if he’s bigger than you! he’d feel so safe and secure nuzzling into your neck as he bounces on your lap, and being held down w his legs over his head in a mating press would make his brain melt into mush. i think his favorite would definitely be full nelson though hehe…smth abt how helpless and exposed he is in that position turns him on to an insane degree. he’d also definitely find a way to hold your hands in whichever position you take <3 the noises he makes start out very low and husky w your careful thrusts, but the more you pick up the pace the higher and louder his voice gets. he sounds so sweet and angelic, the moment you first hit his prostate he makes a sound that you have trouble even believing came from him bc of how squeaky it comes out, like a cute lil shout. if you had him in missionary, his legs would be wrapped tight around you the entire time, making it a lil more difficult to move bc he’s got some strong thighs but the gesture is so cute u dont mind. it also makes for the perfect opportunity to tease him that he must want you to finish inside him n fill him up…you can physically see the effect those words have on him. his eyes go so wide and his whole body shudders, and just like that he’s climaxing <3 a few days later you’ve got lixie looking innocent as ever, beaming at you as he presents you w the new ejaculating strap he got to make it a reality hehe

seungmin - minnie is shy!! not necessarily in the giggly, blushy, stuttery way like chan. seungmin is more modest, reserved, and quiet—a lil awkward abt it. out of all the boys, i think he would be the least inclined to try pegging, and he definitely isn’t the one to bring it up, so that’s all in your hands. when you suggest incorporating it into your dynamic, at first he’d probably be pretty unwilling to explore it and just flat out says no bc he just doesn’t think he could feel fully comfortable w smth like that. but, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t spend a lot of time mulling it over in private, even after he’s initially rejected the idea. his lil analytical virgo brain starts to think abt why you’d be interested in pegging in the first place, the new kinds of pleasure it would bring you both, the intimacy of an act like that, and how it might bring you and him closer together to experience. do not be fooled by his composure, kim seungmin is a sentimental softie who is very in touch w his emotions!! his desire to connect w you however he can extends to all facets of your relationship, and as daunting as the vulnerability of subbing can be for him sometimes, that vulnerability is the exact same reason why he values it so much. so, eventually, he decides that the same can be applied to bottoming for the first time and he changes his own mind hehe

he wants to be good for you. he’s so disciplined and obedient, he takes it very seriously and is genuinely a perfect sub (when he wants to be lol, sometimes he’s difficult on purpose) but when trying smth so out of his wheelhouse for the first time, he has some trouble shaking the awkwardness which makes him a lil stiff, a bit less pliant than usual. poor seungmo can’t help but be hyperaware of every sound he lets slip out, every expression he makes, every embarrassing, involuntary reaction his body has to your minstrations. so you can imagine how all of that would be turned up to a 100 when it comes to pegging bc all the focus is on him and his pleasure. he isn’t used to having that degree of attention on his body, esp not…those parts of his body. he’s even shyer than you’re used to during foreplay, just letting a few sighs and grunts slip and looking away timidly when you stare at him for too long. you’d have to be extra observant of his reactions and facial expressions to see what he likes the most, bc he has a tendency to suppress himself. one thing he does make sure to do though is periodically let you know that he’s still okay, through a quick lil nod or hand squeeze. he’d prefer to start out w him lying on his tummy, not facing you. it spares him the embarrassment of you seeing his features twist in pleasure, and he can also push his face into the pillows to mask all his noises. he might wanna wear a big hoodie or sweater to cover up his body too. i think he’d spend extra time adjusting in comparison to the other boys, partially bc he’s nervous n partially bc he wants to bask in the moment a bit. kinda like lix, he really values the closeness of just being connected like that and stays unmoving w you inside him for a while <3 he starts off swallowing down his noises so they only come out as cute, hushed lil whimpers, but as you start to ease in and out of him, even he can’t hold back as much as he wants to. it feels so strange but so relieving, almost like you’re fulfilling a desire he hadn’t even known was there until now. he mostly lets out gentle exhales and mewls, and when you hit his sweet spot for the first time, a full on gasp, which is pretty dramatic for seungmin hehe. even if you can’t see his expressions, you can see his fingers digging into the sheets and his muscles clenching with effort and his hips starting to rock into the mattress. if you leaned down to press kisses down his spine, he would shudder so beautifully n let out the sweetest moan for you. when he’s far gone enough to give in completely to the pleasure, he goes limp beneath you and allows you to flip him over so you can finally get a look at his pretty blissed out face. and when you do, he looks up at you w the most adoring lovestruck puppy gaze like you put the stars in the sky, just pure hearts floating in his big brown eyes that immediately lets you know he’s way more into this than either of you thought he’d be 🥰

jeongin - like binnie, i think there’s a good chance he might be kinda clueless as to what pegging even really is, so he wouldn’t be the one to suggest it first or even consider it an option. when you first introduce the idea to him, poor innie sputters smth like “eh? that’s a thing????” and you can practically see a whole new world of possibilities opening up in his wide, sparkly eyes. it makes his heart race a bit if he’s being honest, but he also feels a lil unsure abt it bc he’s never even really thought abt having anything…go inside of him…just imagining it gets him all squirmy, red in the face, n playing nervously w his ears. he’d probably call you a perv at first for even wanting smth like that and acts like he isn’t interested in trying it…however…just like seungmin, do not be fooled!! he spends the next several days thinking abt it, maybe a lil too often. in innie’s case he keeps going back to it partially out of curiosity, and partially bc he is very much a pleaser who craves your approval deep down, almost to the same degree as chan and jisung. he just doesn’t want you to know that hehe…unfortunately for him it’s kinda obvious in the way he brings it up many times afterwards, mostly through asking questions that he thinks are casual like “so…*clears throat* how big would it even be?” or “is it really supposed to feel that good?” or even nagging you like “seriously, why’d you have to say smth so weird? now i can’t stop thinking abt it” w lots of awkward giggles to make it seem like a joke but when he’s constantly making lil comments abt it unprovoked you quickly start to catch on hehe…he looks so genuinely hopeful and curious without even realizing, you can’t help but tease him a bit for how transparent he is

i think innie really wants to impress you! as you’re leading into the pegging he’s extra nervous and kinda out of his element, bc he feels like he can’t really do anything to appeal to you like usual…he sometimes tends to lean into the role of a service sub bc he feeds off your praises like nothing else. he loves when you teach him how to please you properly, even more so when he does it right and earns a proud reaction from you, a moan or a headpat and a "good boy". but when he’s the one getting all the pleasure…well, as much as he craves being the center of your attention, he inevitably gets a bit bashful. he will be hiding his face a lot, covering his eyes w his fingers or clamping his hand over his mouth trying to stifle himself bc the sounds that are leaving his lips are embarrassingly loud. like channie, he'd need a lot of praise and reassurance through it all! he can't even try to pretend like he's confident or knows what he's doing, and the entire time he's watching you w the widest, most fascinated gaze that gives away how much he really depends on you to guide him through it. he giggles so much, both out of shyness and in an attempt to ease his nerves. he can barely get a sentence out without tripping over his words or letting out breathy lil chuckles, and you have to periodically remind him to loosen up a bit as you're fingering him open bc he stiffens every time a jolt of pleasure passes through him. it’s all so unfamiliar but so good, he feels like he has no control over his body anymore, and that only amplifies once you actually slide your strap inside. he is gasping and writhing and letting out the most shameless moans he's ever heard in his life, but as much as it makes his face burn red, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself no matter how hard he tried. the best way to get him to relax and completely melt into it is to whisper sweet words to him through it all, tell him how pretty he looks and sounds when he’s feeling good, how well he's taking every inch of you even when he’s so tight, how he's such a good boy and a fast learner <3 jeongin quickly learns that the praises you give him simply for getting fucked into a cute moaning mess make his brain short circuit like nothing else, he could get addicted to it. i think he’s one of the most likely to go a lil dumb from it hehe…he leans a lot more into the guilty pleasure side of him that’s used to being pampered n doted on~

[roughentumble]

I Didn't Kiss You Right Before, Can I Try Again?

Tags: Fix-It, Time Travel, Blood and Gore, Body Horror(mild)

Words: 6,752

Description: Geralt is sent back in time to make different choices during key moments, unaware of how it happaned or what's going on. All he has to go on is the strange urge to keep moving, and the dizzying feeling this has all happened before.

Also on AO3

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Geralt wakes up in a daze.

There's something on the tip of his tongue-- like when you don't remember a dream, but you remember the shape of it. He fights to recall it, because it seems so big, so important, as the last strands slip through his fingers. His body wills him to stand up, and so he does, as if he could chase the fragments that way, but moving only seems to dislodge them further. He doesnt even recall falling asleep. He sees-- Jaskier, a few feet away with his back to him, far enough he'd have to call out to be heard, and everything is hazy as he stumbles over, some sort of need he cant name thrumming under his skin. He could get angry about it, or-- or...

He places a hand on Jaskier's shoulder, and Jaskier whips around in surprise, blinking owlishly at him. Jaskier starts to say something, brow furrowed with concern and sympathy, but Geralt cuts him off with a squeeze of his shoulder. "I think you were right. We should go to the coast."

Concern gives way to joy, like the sun breaking through the clouds, lighting up his entire face. "You-- really? Actually, you'd want that? What caused the change of heart, did you whack your head or something?" He waves his hand in dismissal, keeps speaking before Geralt can interject. "Doesn't matter, really, what matters is that you did. I'll pack my things right away, and we can load up dear old Roach, and I can compose a stunning ballad out of this whole mess because I am a miracle worker, and-- oh you'll just love the coast I'm certain of it! Fine wine and pearls and the salty sea stretching out forever over the horizon, and the sunsets, oh! To die for, truly!"

Perhaps he did hit his head. There's dirt in his hair, more than usual, and he doesnt think he woke up in a bedroll... but he can't find it in himself to care. It all came out so easy, and something about it had felt right. He reaches out to take Jaskier's hand in his own, and Jaskier only trips over his words for a moment, glancing down at them in confusion, then smiling even brighter, if that was even possible. That feels right, too. In the same way he cant put his finger on. He'll examine it later, when he's a little more awake. For now he just pulls Jaskier gently by the hand towards camp, so he can do that packing he was talking about.

They leave the mountain, and the cursed dragon hunt, behind, without much fanfare or a word to the others.

 

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He doesnt like the coast much, as it turns out. Sand isnt great for poor Roach's hooves, salt sticks in his long hair making it unmanagable, and the large swath of ocean in front of him makes him edgy in a way he doesnt want to put a name to, because Geralt of Rivia does not do being afraid. It's all logic, is what it is, giant sea monsters lurk in those depths, and surely no witcher is equipped to deal with their likes. A certain healthy cautiousness makes sense, he reasons.

He likes Jaskier at the coast, though.

Happy and free, laughing, backlit by the sun, sand on his cheek and pants rolled up to the knee. Fancy shoes dangling from his fingers.

Foolish bard, he thinks, stepping closer, brushing away the sand, foolish, silly little bard, never brings the proper footwear anywhere we go. Out loud he says "I'm in love with you."

He watches closely the play of emotions across Jaskier's face, the joy morphing into shock, disbelief, mouth gawping open like a fish. In the next moment he's dropped those fancy shoes to grab Geralt's head, yanking him down into a kiss that's equal parts frenzy and passion and finally coming home. They kiss until the water laps up to their ankles, arms tangled around each other.

The incoming waves claim just one of Jaskier's fancy, impractical shoes, and he curses the sea, running into the water as if he could fish the thing out, or else batter the sea into compliance. Geralt laughs, and laughs, and pulls Jaskier from the salty sea to kiss him again, and again, and again, even as he complains about his lost shoe. "You'll be compensating me for that, witcher," he warns, shaking his finger.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," Geralt responds, breathless with joy, and Jaskier sinks into his grip.

 

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"I want you to come with me. To Kaer Morhen."

Jaskier stares at him with open-mouth. It isnt an offer given lightly. Even in all their years of on-again off-again, Geralt never extended this particular invitation to Yennefer. Maybe he was too scared of being known, or too scared of being trapped in one place-- if things went sour when they couldnt just leave, would it go away for ever? She's gone away forever anyway, for all his clinging and carefully calculated space. She said no, and he found-- he found--

Years he's spent, dragging his feet. Years, and with Jaskier it's so old and yet so new, and he's decided that he is sick of the waiting, of the right pace. He wants Jaskier with him, now and always. "This winter, the two of us. Up in the Blue Mountains."

Jaskier is nodding before Geralt can finish speaking, tears welling in his eyes. "I want that too, love. Gods, you know I'd follow you anywhere." And then he laughs, free and joyful and it's the best sound Geralt's ever heard in his life. Jaskier reaches out, touches his cheek, like he's confirming this is real, and Geralt leans into his space to press their foreheads together. Inhales the scent of his tears mingled with pure joy, and it smells like the ocean.

 

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They keep heading south, because it isnt time to head north yet, and because Geralt's got a feeling he'd really like to disprove. Can't explain where it comes from, exactly, just that he feels a tug, senses a rumbling in the earth, hears whispers on the streets. He climbs the rocky outcropping while Jaskier waits by Roach, idle and bored. He wants to be wrong. Wants it so badly he hasnt even shared his theory with Jaskier. He looks out over the path below.

He is not wrong.

A sea of black and gold. Cintra is the gateway to the rest of the north, and it's about to fall.

 

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He tells Jaskier to wait in the Cintran marketplace. If this works, Geralt will be able to meet him there without injury, or at least be able to send someone to fetch him. If it doesnt, he'll need to resort to drastic measures, which should put him in Jaskier's path too. He's grateful for this decision when he ends up surrounded on all sides by Calanthe's men-- he has no doubt Jaskier would be able to extract himself from the danger as he always does, but he still doesnt like seeing it. He holds a knife to the throat of an old friend, and wonders why it feels familiar. Wishes that it didn't.

When they fall through the portal, dodging Calanthe's trap, Jaskier is far enough away from their stall that he doesn't hear the commotion-- presumably, anyway. Geralt wishes he could see him, just to confirm he was safe, confirm he actually made it, but he's too preoccupied to linger on the thought.

He's led through bullshit and lies, attempts to buck fate, but he can feel the tightening noose of destiny and knows its all pointless. He'll walk away with his child surprise, it's just a matter of whether that leaves him with a target on his back.

Calanthe orders him gone, and Eist escorts him.

"I remember when you honored the Law of Surprise. What changed?" Geralt asks, needs to provoke something real out of one of them, desperately hopes for a chink in someone's armor.

"I had a granddaughter," Eist throws at him blithely.

"So protect her," Geralt says through gritted teeth. The conversation feels like one he's had a million times. "What if Calanthe's wrong? What if they come and Ciri is trapped?" He presses.

"I fight side by side with my Queen," Eist replies, unmoved.

"You put too much faith in that woman."

"Well, you weren't there. After Pavetta died, Calanthe would wake up howling in the night. The Lioness, nearly broken." Eist shakes his head, looking off in the distance as he relives the memory. Geralt's temples throb, lips ghosting over the words along with him, wondering why the hell it's so familiar. "Someone who's able to pull themselves out of that, they'll have my confidence 'till my final day."

Geralt wants to scream. It's not enough. It isnt enough. Why do their minds never change?

"I need your promise you won't come back." Eist says, and Geralt pauses in the entryway, weighs his options.

It's so godsdamned familiar. And yet, he can't say anything but the truth. "If I hear Ciri's in danger, you know I can't do that."

"I know."

The bars fall.

Jaskier was browsing nearby. He hears the clatter, and comes running. It's so like them-- somehow they always find each other.

He calls for Geralt, running up to place his palms on the bars, face screwed up in fear and outrage.

Guards close in, shouting at Jaskier to step away from the prisoner, and Geralt whips around to face Eist. "Don't hurt him." Geralt pleads.

"He's your companion. A weasly little thing, there when you claimed the law of surprise in the first place. How do I know he won't try to break you out? Or take the child surprise for you?" Eist asks, and Geralt's stomach plummets.

"You're a reasonable man, Eist. I understand your commitment to Calanthe, but Jaskier hasnt done anything. He isn't bound to Ciri by destiny, he has no claim to her. Nilfgaard is nearly at the border, don't doom him by locking him in the dungeons when he's harmless." He grips the bars tighter, knuckles turning white from the strength of his grip.

Eist looks considering, so Geralt presses on. "Please. As one old friend to another, he's just a bard. Don't punish him for my folly."

"We were never old friends," Eist disputes. "...but I don't see the harm one bard could cause." Relief hits Geralt like a tidal wave, and he lets out his breath in one big exhale. "I don't think I've ever seen you scared before." Eist cuts a look at him, and his eyes seem to pierce through Geralt. He steps closer to speak in a low tone. "Nearly at the border, you say?"

Geralt nods, trying to project just how seriously he means it. "I wouldn't lie about this."

Eist thinks for another moment, then says "I'll get him a guest room in the castle."

Geralt's knees nearly buckle with relief. A guest room he can move freely in, and the castle will be the most well-fortified place during the inevitable seige. Jaskier has a chance of survival. "No!" he hears for behind him, and he turns his head to stare at jaskier.

"No, Geralt, I won't leave you! They can't imprison you, you havent done anything!" He presses, tears of fury welling in his eyes. He knows what's coming as well as Geralt does, and he stinks of fear. Geralt walks to the other side of the small cell to grasp Jaskier's hands through the bars.

"Jaskier, it's alright. I'll be right where I need to be. It's destiny, remember? I just need to know you'll be safe while I do it." Jaskier looks unconviced, but Geralt squeezes his hands tighter. "Promise me you'll stay in your room. Promise you'll wait for me. Promise."

Jaskier blinks back tears. "I promise," he says, and Geralt lets out another sigh of relief. He leans forward as Jaskier does, foreheads as close to touching as the bars will let them.

"Alright. Let's go." Eist says, and a guard finally steps forward to place a hand on Jaskier's elbow. He looks Geralt in the eye, shoulders squared, a silent promise that they'll see each other again.

Geralt meets his gaze. And then he's taken away.

 

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"This is Cirilla. Ciri, this is--"

"Ah-ah, let me do my own introductions, I get to say it so rarely, after all," he says, cutting Geralt off and turning to Ciri. His shoulders roll back, posture straightening, carrying himself with a sudden air of gravitas. "My name is Julian Alfred Pancratz, Viscount de Lettenhove. Graduate of Oxenfurt, master of the seven liberal arts, and esteemed poet and minstrel, better known throughout the kingdoms as the famed bard Jaskier. At your service." He bows deeply, a fluid, graceful movement, and when he comes back up he looks rather pleased with himself.

There's a beat of silence. "...my partner." Geralt finishes his earlier statement, eyebrow raised and thoroughly unimpressed. Ciri mostly just seems surprised. "Don't worry, you get used to the chatter."

Jaskier splutters, cheeks turning red in offense. "You! that was a perfectly lovely introduction, you great big oaf, I don't know why I put up with you!"

Ciri giggles nervously, then claps a hand over her mouth, a much needed moment of levity for the young girl. It can't last forever, though. Geralt says "We need to go to Sodden Hill."

"Why?" Ciri asks, dread filling her stomach at the thought of all that destruction, and Geralt places a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I think Yen is there and I need to find her," he explains, and Jaskier rolls his eyes.

"Always chasing the old witch," he says, with maybe an undercurrent of jealousy, insecurity. It's something Geralt will need to address, but not now. Not like this.

"Come on, bard," he says as he mounts roach and pulls Ciri up with him.

"Oh, left to walk as always while she gets the royal treatment? Just a simple, gruff 'come bard', like I'm some dog who'll heel for you, I see how it is. So much for partner," he says with a sniff, and Ciri giggles again, still a little uncertain. Geralt bites back a smile.

"You can walk the other way, if you please," he replies, and Jaskier sputters once more.

They quiet as they reach the battlefield, empty but for destruction and corpses. Jaskier holds his nose for the stench.

Geralt steps away from them to speak to the first person he sees, a woman in obvious shell-shock, looking around as if she's lost everything. Perhaps she has. She looks at and yet through Geralt as he speaks to her, seeing him without seeing him. Then she speaks, and all of Jaskier's disdain falls away with a gasp, hand flying to his chest.

"Yennefer is dead."

It hangs in the air, dampening sound, stilling the trees. Yennefer is dead. She is no more.

Geralt's heart pounds in his ears, and he has so much and so little that he wants to say. He opens his mouth, and then stops. Feels so faint, blinks away the fog in his mind, as certainty overcomes him.

"No, she isnt," he says, and Tissaia looks at him with such pity, like he's in shock. And he doesnt know why he said it, except that it feels true. He feels almost lightheaded, shaky on his feet, anchored only by his knowledge that Yen is alive.

"We are bound by fate. I would feel it if she were dead," he says, and he doesn't know if that's true, but he knows the certainty, and has no other explanation for it. It makes something like hope flicker across Tissaia's face, warring with the absolute desolation.

"It can't be," she says, unwilling to trust the words of a strange man she's never met, one who couldnt know.

"I'll find her," he says. "We'll meet again."

 

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"I'm sorry." Jaskier says, his voice so quiet. Ciri is uneasily asleep, and Jaskier and Geralt sit around a fire.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. We'll find her again." Geralt says, because it has to be true. It feels true. It must... it must...

Jaskier lays a hand on Geralt's arm, his voice soft and sympathetic. "Then I'm sorry she's missing," he says, even though he clearly doesnt believe it.

The jealousy and insecurity have bled away now that she's gone. Now that he thinks she's gone, anyway. "All our old fighting... it was all so petty. even up till the last--" he stops himself, changes tracks. "...it was all so pointless. I know I pulled you between two people you cared about very much. And I'm sorry for it."

"I never minded. Not really, not the little stuff. You and Yen wouldn't be yourselves if you didn't bicker." Geralt says, and Jaskier shoots him a wane smile. He leans in to kiss Geralt's cheek.

"Then I promise I'll find something to be catty about when we find her again," he says, tucking Geralt's hair behind his ear. "Just-- I know this insecurity is gauche, considering the circumstances of her... disappearance. But if we do see her again, you'll still pick me, right?"

"Yennefer means very much to me. But now that I have you, you're it for me, Jaskier. I promise." He leans in to kiss Jaskier on the mouth, short and quick and still so emotional. "She's my destiny, but you're my choice."

Jaskier lets out a shaky breath, and pulls geralt in for another kiss.

 

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"Tell me, friend, who changed you."

Geralt smiles to himself as he considers his answer. "Yennefer. Ciri." He pauses, looking over at his companion, currently fiddling with a tchotchke on a shelf. "...Jaskier." Said man turns around when he hears his name, then freezes as if caught, item still in hand. When he meets Geralt's eyes, though, he smiles, and Geralt smiles back.

"Well, you've the girl and the bard. But where is this lovely lady Yennefer?" He asks, and Geralt's smile falls.

"...She's gone," he says, and Jaskier's mouth twists.

"Last we heard, she was dead." Jaskier says gently, and Geralt flinches. He still refuses to believe it.

"She isn't," Geralt insists, "but... wherever she is, she's still lost to me. Who knows where she's gone to lick her wounds."

There's silence for a moment, pity etched into Nivellen's eyes. "...I am sorry," he says, and Geralt nods. Let him think what he likes. Geralt knows better.

 

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Eskel says that if he had a princess surprise he would fuck her, and Geralt feels blind rage rising in his chest, overpowering his mind as he thinks to Ciri, little Ciri, broken Ciri, his Ciri. A child.

Eskel would never say that, Geralt thinks to himself, the absolute wrongness of it all settling over him like a cloak. Something in his chest urges him forward. He wants to take Eskel aside and slap sense into him, wants to know what happened to his most trusted brother, his most beloved, his other half, but he feels that same faintness in his head. He's starting to notice it, but it doesnt want to be noticed, it leaves him foggy and confused.

A vague impression seats itself in his mind. it almost sounds like 'I should have...' but it's gone just as quickly. He moves as if in a dream, filling a tankard with white gull, dosing it with sedative hidden away from when they were boys, when they needed to subdue witchers for medical treatment in a full keep.

Eskel takes the mug and drinks it so fast, drinks like he's trying to outrun something, drinks like there's horror nipping at his heels. He falls asleep at the table, and Geralt volunteers to bring him back to his room. Vesemir offers to help, and he has no excuse to turn him down when carrying a full grown witcher's weight is such an ordeal, though he sweats under the collar when Eskel cant even drunkenly stumble between them, fully dead to the world. Vesemir must know something is wrong. He must.

They get him to his room with a lot of grumbling but no real issues, throw him down on the bed. "He drank himself into quite the stupor," Vesemir says with shrewd eyes, brow furrowed.

Geralt doesnt know what to say. "What's going on here, Geralt?" He asks, and Geralt's stomach plummets.

"I have to-- I can't explain, I just have to--" he starts, struggling for the words. "Something is wrong. He's hurt." Vesemir sends him a look that screams 'duh'.

"So you drug him to work on him in secret? This isnt like you." Vesemir says, and Geralt gets the crazy urge to laugh, because it isn't like him, he doesnt know what the fuck he's doing, except that he must.

Witchers are allowed to lick their wounds in private, they're allowed to come home angry and changed. Geralt pushed them all away after Blaviken, and none of them held him down, forced him, none of them acted like the mages that made them. He feels sick.

"We have to. Vesemir, we--" he starts, grabbing Eskel's shirt and lifting it to look at the damage. Vesemir holds out a hand to stop him, and then they both fall still with a gasp. There, in his chest, right above his heart, is a piece of embedded wood.

It's big, not like a splinter, maybe the size of a fist, with spindly roots that anchor it, spreading out like veins under the surrounding skin. It pulses, just a bit, and embedded within the center of it is something else, a chunk of rock that almost looks like obsidian. Rock gives way to wood gives way to flesh.

"We have to get it out of him," Geralt says suddenly, going for the knife at his hip.

"We don't even know what it is," Vesemir says, though the disgust is plain on his face. "What if removing it kills him? It could be in too deep."

"And what, just let it grow? It's right above his heart, it'll kill him soon anyway. And it's moving." Geralt says, and Vesemir looks pained.

"...I'll keep him out using somne," Vesemir says, "we need to get it out fast but careful. Don't leave a single branch behind."

They nod to each other, and Geralt heats up the knife using igni, lets the flames lick the blade, then he gets to work.

Eskel screams in his sleep, fighting against the drugs, against Vesemir's hold, the first touch of heated metal enough to make his whole body tense. The wood contracts, roots tightening visibly beneath his skin, and Geralt grits his teeth. One by one he pries them out of his guildsman's flesh, the wood sizzling and popping when touched by the hot blade. Blood streams down Eskel's chest, and he screams again, whole body arching.

The roots convulse in the open air, trying to return to the safe haven of his veins, only to be cut off and thrown to the floor. A new root tries to grow in the old one's place and Geralt cauterizes the stump, pressing the flat of the knife to it to produce even louder sizzling. If the thing could scream it would be, and Eskel convulses once just like the thing in his chest.

Suddenly, footsteps. The others had heard his screams. Lambert bursts in, shouts "What the fuck's going on?!" and Geralt shakes his head, knowing what a strange scene they make, how threatening he looks holding a red knife.

"There's no time!" He says.

"Go get every healing potion in the keep, now!" Vesemir shouts, struggling not to break his own concentration. There's stillness, and then some of the gathered witchers run to do as told, while the rest watch in silent horror.

Geralt gets his nails under the edges of the thing and begins to lift, Eskel once more arching up to follow him. It moves agonizingly slow, tearing Eskel's flesh as the bark is dragged past his delicate muscle tissue. It seems to go on and on as Geralt pulls, and to his own horror, he realizes something. It isnt just growing out, it's growing down. Down into him, down towards his heart.

Sweat drips down Vesemir's forehead from holding the sign so firmly and so long. The root on the bottom extends down into Eskel's chest, down towards his heart. Geralt has to act fast and careful all at once.

His knife wasnt made for cutting wood, but he pushes it between the lump and Eskel's body anyway, carving away at the spot where the root connects to the whole. There's so much fucking blood, he can barely see, and he has to drag the knife back and forth to get even the tiniest bit of progress, utterly devoid of leverage or the proper teeth to dig into the plant's flesh. Then, finally, with a twist of his wrist, he snaps the wood chunk free from the root, cauterizes it, and throws it to the floor. Only one last step.

He pushes flesh aside and sees the root go down, wrapped firmly around a rib, and then...

His heart. Beating. Right out there in the open, skin and muscle shoved aside to make way for that thing. The root is wrapped around the heart, squeezing, causing his convusions, and geralt feels sick, but there's no time to stop or wait. Vesemir's control is slipping. Blood is flowing faster now.

His fingers slip through blood and fat and viscera and things meant to be kept inside as he tries to untwist the root from the shock-white of Eskel's rib bone. It snaps, apparently brittle now that it's disconnected from the whole, and Geralt throws another piece at his feet. His hands aren't clean, aren't washed, but there's no godsdamn time, so he slides a finger down beside his other half's very heart and hooks the back of the root. Pulls so slow, so careful.

It pops free with a spray of blood, and all falls still.

"G'r'lt?" comes slurred from the bed. "Did th't come outta' me?" Eskel asks, and then immediately falls unconcious once more.

Vesemir slumps against the wall. "Gwain, Coen," he says, panting just a bit, "the pig we were keeping for meat? Slaughter it. We need a skin graft, clean and quick. Everard, Merek, sutures and everything else we need to clean and bandage."

Only Lambert remains, pale and silent, staring at the floor where the pieces of now inert wood rest. Time seems less linear, suddenly, and nobody has much clue how much time passes. All they know is that Lambert cleans up the pieces of foreign blood-soaked thing into a jar for safekeeping, and the supplies filter in. Eskel gets healing daughts poured down his throat, and Geralt keeps working to stitch his chest together with pig skin, wont let anyone else touch him. They both breathe easier once the final stitch is in place, and Geralt steps back with shaking hands as the other witchers wipe down his skin, slather it in healing poultices, and cover him in bandages. Geralt falls asleep on the floor, trembling, without the sense in his head to clean away his brother's blood.

When Eskel wakes up, he thanks them. Tells them his head felt wrong, something whispering in it, ever since that leshen got one lucky shot. Says the leshen didnt look right, didnt act right, that he couldnt remember how to kill it once it embedded in his chest. "It's like it went to seed in him," Vesemir says in horror, and everyone shakes their heads, and they dont know what to do. But Eskel is there. He is weak, and he is bedridden, and he is there.

Finally, Kaer Morhen can rest.

===========

Vesemir doesn't think these flowers are the answer. He doesn't recognize them-- though if he knew every part of the formula, it wouldnt be lost to him as well. Still, though, it doesn't sound right to his ear, even if he doesn't know as much about flora as one might if they'd dedicated their life to the study of it. He can imagine, though, being desperate enough to believe it. He thinks back to Eskel, and how they'd almost lost him to such a stupid error. He feels the loss of their way of life, their traditions, weighing on his shoulders in a way he never thought he'd face in his lifetime.

The little scrap of paper in her hand is so innocuous. And even if it's wrong, or merely an approximation of what once was, he feels the need to keep it, to catalogue it, preserve it as he has everything else in the keep... even the unsavory ones. The metal rack so many boys died on, that countless others were changed in, chained in, sitting in the basement like it's a coffee table. Like it's nothing. Like it isnt horrific.

But it's all he has. And it's what they needed.

His fingers curl around the paper. "How many other people know of this blossom? Would be likely to put two and two together?" He asks.

"Not many at all, I would imagine. Even fewer would know how to apply the knowledge, or enough inner workings of witchers to make the leap. And it's only a theory, anyway, I can't confirm it as of yet," she replies, watching him closely.

Their numbers, so weakened, so devastated. The continent is running out of monsters, but it hasn't run dry just yet-- witchers are still needed, and they're dwindling. And yet...

He flicks his fingers, and the page goes up in flames. A little cast of igni, and suddenly the secret is unknown once more. "Can't let anyone know how we're made; sorcerers have been after the information for as long as there have been witcher schools. No telling what havoc they'd wreak across the continent if they had the recipe. And... there will be no more boys."

He looks at the ashes in his hand, and he aches in ways he doesnt have words for, for the life he had and the men he lost and all those boys. "I thank you for your diligence, and your offer," he says diplomatically, "but I urge you to forget what you've discovered, and tell no one. And if you do decide to divulge our secrets, then I can only pray your approximations were wrong."

She had looks surprised when the fire burst to life, but understanding settles across her features.

There will be no more potions. No more blood spilt for these old stones. And there will be no more boys. He never even mentions their clandestine conversation to Ciri. She deserves her choices, but she's a traumatized child, and he's an adult. He doesnt need to burden her with this.

 

===========

+++++++++++

"Yennefer of Vengerberg." Jaskier says in awe. Can't believe Geralt was right. Can't believe she's alive. "Should've known you wouldnt stay dead, rotting necrophage that you are," he says, catty and mean and a little breathless because she's alive. But then her arms are around him, and she's hugging him so tight he can barely breathe, and he lets out a shocked grunt. "Uh? Hugging? You're hugging me, you do know you're hugging me, right?" He asks, mouth running faster in his confusion.

"Oh Jaskier," she says, "it's so good to see you."

"Good. To see me. Did you hit your head at Sodden? Is that where you've been all this time, wandering the countryside mindlessly?" He asks, and she snorts. Snorts! Like he's funny! Which he is, but she's never admitted it before.

"Oh how I miss when my problems were as small as a single sing-songy twit." She says fondly, taking him by the shoulders and leaning back to take a look at him.

"Now I'll never admit to having said this, I'll deny it if you ever try to tell... but I am very glad you're not dead, Yennefer." It comes out so damn soft, and for all their bickering it's hard not to be soft about someone you've known at least ten years. He cradles her arms in his palms, so they're both holding each other but at arm's length. "But I really must ask, where the hell have you been? We've been looking for you."

"It's a long story," she says evasively, and he narrows his eyes.

"Ah, well, if it's long then you certainly wouldnt want to tell it twice," he says, and leads her down the corridor, towards a closed door. "Here," he says gently as he pushes it open, "I figure if you're here, you'd like to see Geralt, too."

The room goes so still. "I knew," Geralt says. "I knew we'd find each other." And Yennefer runs into his open arms for a hug, stress melting away as she tucks her face into his neck. For the first time in a long time, she feels safe.

Jaskier watches them fondly, shoulder resting against the doorway. They'll have time for questions and answers. For now they can just be happy the world has a touch less death in it.

 

===========

 

"Yen," he says gently. "I'm sorry for what I said. You would make an excellent mother."

Yen's face does something complicated. "Geralt--"

"Ciri will need one," He says, and Yen recoils in shock, to hear him offer it so plainly.

"So-- what, you want you and I to play house with your little orphan?" She asks, and it comes out harsh, but she doesnt take it back. Geralt shakes his head.

"It wouldnt be like that. I'm... I'm with Jaskier now." Geralt replies, and that makes Yen's eyebrows fly up in shock. "We wouldnt be... together like that. But we would be friends. Partners. Equals. I think it might be good for us, to take the heartache out of the equation. And Ciri needs a teacher, someone like you. I think you'd be good for each other." He pauses, and when Yen has nothing to say to that, he says "Think about it."

She steps through a portal with Ciri anyway. She sees him beg them not to leave, and she walks away anyway. But his offer rings in her head as loud as Voleth Meir's promises, and halfway to their destination Yennefer brings them to a stop. Ciri is so bright. So bright and beautiful, and with such great power, hair like Geralt's and a heart like Geralt's, so hurt and yet longing so deeply for love, and she looks at Yennefer with such trust. So much trust, and she's leading this doe-eyed girl astray, what could be hers, what should be hers, and Yennefer is tired of sacrificing and sacrificing and sacrificing. She loves hard and she loves vicious and she loves selfishly, and when Ciri demonstrates her powers Yen thinks My daughter did that. My. Mine.

She thinks You cannot have her, she thinks You will not take this from me, she thinks, I will no longer have no choice. I have a choice. I am making it.

And she turns on her heel and leads Ciri in an entirely different direction. She leads Ciri away from doom that Ciri never even knew was hanging over her head. Voleth Meir screams, and she walks away anyway, down a road where she knows an equally angry Geralt will find her. She only hopes she can talk him out of his rage before he sends her away.

 

===========

 

"I want to know where Yennefer of Vengerberg is going." Geralt says to Codringher and Fenn. They look at each other, and then back at him.

"And you think we know this? We don't keep track of every person on the continent, Geralt." Fenn replies

"I don't have time for games. I just need something, anything. Where was she recently. She has--... someone very dear to me. And I must find them." Geralt says, hands balled into fists.

They exchange a look. "We truly can't tell you her whereabouts. She hasnt been seen in quite a while. All that's known is that she was mumbling to herself last she was seen, before she vanished."

"What was she saying?" He presses, and Codringher looks thoughtful.

"Something like 'turn back to the forest, turn back to your mother'?" He says, scratching his chin.

"Turn your back to the forest, hut hut. turn your front to me, hut hut." Geralt says, understanding dawning on him.

"Could be. Our ears on the ground didn't hear it any clearer." Fenn says, seemingly annoyed that there's information she doesn't know.

"I know where she's going," he says, throws a bag on coins on the table, and leaves as quick as he came.

 

===========

 

Geralt has his sword drawn before they even see him, terror lancing through him at the idea of Ciri being taken, being given to that demon. Ciri shouts with joy when she spots him, then with fear as he presses his sword to Yen's throat. She lets him, no fight in her.

"I couldn't do it. I turned back. Back to you," she swears, and Geralt glances between the two of them, trying to assess if Ciri is alright.

"Geralt, what are you doing," she begs, looking so young and so frightened.

"What did she promise you? Money? Power?" Geralt asks, betrayal running deep, burning him up inside, because he'd trusted Yen, and first chance she got she ran off with his child. His. to sacrifice her to something old and foul.

Yen looks decimated. "...I can't be Ciri's teacher. My magic... it's gone." Yen says, answering his original offer and his most recent question all at once and geralt startles at that. Then she whispers, soft and broken and desperate, "Geralt, she's in my head."

Suddenly Geralt sees her for what she is. Someone very hurt, and very alone, who fought through the promises and manipulations of a demon to bring his daughter back to him. He slowly lowers his sword and pulls Yennefer into an embrace. "We'll fix it." Geralt promises.

 

===========

It doesnt get any easier to ignore Voleth Meir, but she looks around and sees Kaer Morhen, and the family that she's been welcomed into, and remembers that she's allowed to stay. That she has fought tooth and nail for every inch of her life until now, and she can keep fighting. That Ciri is hers.

She teaches magic anyway, without demonstrations. It's hard for Ciri, and it's hard for Yen, but she isn't as worthless as she feared she'd be powerless. Ciri looks up to her. Ciri hugs her. Ciri asks her hair be plaited for dinner. Ciri is her choice, and she makes it every morning.

Until one morning, it changes.

It starts small, just a creep, just a tickle. But she snaps her fingers, and a book by her bedside begins to float.

She'd burned herself out, ran her magic dry, scorched the channels it flowed through, but it healed. It came back with time. It was always going to come back with time.

She collapses to her knees and sobs, sobs like a child, for what has been returned to her.

And without her magic to tempt her, Voleth Meir loses her foothold in Yennefer's mind. The whispers quiet and fade until theyre nothing but a memory.

And finally, Yennefer is free.

 

===========

When Geralt lays down that night, he dreams.

"I've found a djinn," Dream Yen says,

and Geralt sees himself ask "Another one?"

"Except I won't try to tame this one," Yen says, insists that it could be the answer to their problems. "We could keep Ciri safe, teach her how to use her powers, if we phrase them just right the wishes could be the thing that saves us."

The scene changes. Once more, he has a seal in his hand. "I wish I had the hindsight not to get into these problems anymore," he says, because he never makes the right choice.

The dream falls away with the sunlight streaming in, bright on his face. He looks down around him, at the little family he's created; Jaskier by his side, Ciri's head in his lap and feet near his face, Yennefer asleep on a cot with her hand on Ciri's. And he decides that this time he did make the right choice. He decides that he's happy.

[chubbygirlfics]

Can i request a tate Langdon x plus!size reader. Where the reader finds out she is pregnant and is scared to tell tate because she thinks he will make her get an abortion and when she finds out about how tate is dead she stays calm so she doesn't add a lot of stress to herself and the baby maybe she is walking home at night and some guy tries to rob her and then kill her but tate gets there and saves her she finally tells him and he tells her how much he loves her and can't wait to be a father. He says this behe is so deeply in love with the reader. (sorry if its long you don't have to write it)

Tate Langdon x plus-size!Reader

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, assault, robbery, and abortion.

Summary: at the top! I hope you like this fic!<3 also it isnt proof read

You don’t really know how you ended up in this situation, pregnant with Tates baby, afraid of what he would say or do if you told him, worried he might make you abort the baby.

You always knew Tate was a deeply disturbed person, you overheard the conversations he had with your dad, he’s a therapist and has a home office for his patients.

Your dad always told you to stay away from him of course in the beginning you did but then Tate started wandering the house when your dad thought he left, he made it up to your room one day, watching you threw the crack in your door.

Man he thought you were gorgeous, when you noticed him peeking he got scared of how you would view him, would you think of him as a creep?, as a stalker?

His worries went away when you invited him into your room

‘Oh hi I’m Tate I live next door’ he said shyly breaking eye contact with you, you have him a assuring smile ‘I know who you are Tate, I see you with my dad from time to time, so what are you doing up here’

You ask Curiously ’i was just looking around sorry if I looked like creep earlier I just thought you looked cute- ah sorry I didn’t mean to say that’ he says cutting himself off

‘It’s okay I think your pretty cute too’ that helps him feel less awkward and it’s not like your lying

Ever since that day you two have practically been inseparable, he’s always in your room hanging out, listening to music, watching movies.

After you guys got to know each other better things escalated which got you into the situation you are in now.

Sitting on the bathroom floor with a positive pregnancy test, cursing to yourself, why just why did this have to happen to you.

Lost in your thoughts you over heard someone talking, you quickly hid the pregnancy test and got up to see who it was.

It was Tate and Constance, Tates mother, you never liked her the way you’ve seen her talk to him but you’ve just stayed out of there business because Tate asked you too.

‘Tate how many times have I told you to stop talking to this girl, if she find out your secret, it’ll be over’ she whisper yells at him

‘Mom, she’s not gonna find out I’m dead, she’s never asked me out the house so you don’t have to worry’

Dead? Dead. It made you dizzy, what does he mean dead, how is he talking to you touching you if he is dead.

It makes so sense, whatever he meant or means you know you have to keep calm in order to not put stress on yourself or the baby, even if Tate doesn’t want the baby in the end you do.

After you hear them walk you away you need fresh air to get your kind off of everything.

You put on warm outdoor clothes considering it’s already dark at night , once you get outside you decide to head to the supermarket to get some stuff to snack on.

You got there grabbed some chips and drinks, you had some spare cash that you could use, you bought your items and headed back.

When you got to the yard of your house some random man came out of the bushes and started covering your mouth

He put a knife against your neck ‘I swear if you make one sound I will cut your throat right here bitch, now give me everything you have.’ You are pulling out your wallet and just give it to him the stuff you bought from the store too.

After you give him everything your shaking still trying to keep calm cause all your thinking about is the baby, ‘you know what I’m gonna kill you anyways’

As he’s about to hurt you Tate comes out of the shadows ‘don’t fucking touch her’ he says slamming a rock against his head more than one time

It definitely knocks than random man out, you never felt so relieved, Tate saved you

‘Oh my god y/n are you a okay? Did he hurt you?’ He says pulling you into a hug, ‘it’s okay Tate I’m fine can we please go inside’ you beg ‘yeah of course baby’ he says grabbing your stuff from the ground and leading you inside

When you got to your room you started breaking down crying, ‘hey, it’s okay y/n your safe now’ he says giving you a kiss at the top of your head,

‘I know tate that’s not why I’m crying’ you say looking at him ‘then what’s wrong?’ He says confused

You take a deep breath ‘I’m pregnant tate and it’s yours, I’m sorry’

He’s speechless for a good minute, you take that as a bad sign, ‘really?’ He asks you see some excitement in his eyes which makes you relieved

‘Yeah I was having a lot of symptoms so I took a pregnancy and test and it was positive but I understand if you don’t want the baby but I’m not getting a abortion tate’ you state

‘No no I don’t want you too, I can’t believe I’m going to be a dad, to our baby , I’m so happy y/n I love you so much and I would never make you get an abortion I want the baby just as much as you do.’

Your smile got so wide and then you remember what him and his mother said.

‘Tate, what did you mean earlier when you said you were dead?’ His eyes go wide.

‘It’s a long story y/n’



[fangirlstorycreator]

Terry KK3 X Reader

Context: Your suffering with pain and end up passing out. But luckily, Terry is there for you 💚

You were at the dojo, doing your usual lesson with your teacher sensei Silver and paying close attention to what he was teaching you. You had never told Terry your feelings for him, but every time you were around him you felt happier than you ever thought you could. He was so handsome, and kind to you, and no matter what, he would always treat you better than the other students. Today however, you weren't feeling yourself, and was experiencing a lot if pain from bad period cramps. They hadn't been this bad before, even the painkillers didnt kick in. You had hoped going to the dojo and exercising would make it hurt less, but unfortunately not.

The lesson had finished, and the other students had left while you were grabbing your things off the mat, and Terry walks over to you. "Hey Y/N, you did great today. Hey uhh...are you alright? You look pale" "Hmm? Oh yeh I'm...I'm alright...im just ahh... a little..." As you try to answer him, your vision goes dizzy and your head feels like its spinning. And before you know it, everything goes dark and the only thing you remember is the feeling of falling. Terry catches you in his arms, stopping you from hitting the floor, and he gently lowers you down onto the mat. "Y/N?" He asks as he taps at your shoulder and rests his hand against your cheek. "Y/N? Can you hear me?"

He isnt panicked by what's happend because he knows what to do when someone faints, but he is very concerned for you. He was worried about you and didnt want to you to go though that. So he grabs a foot stool from the side of the room and puts it under your legs, to get the blood flow back to the rest of your body as your still pale. Then he runs to the dojo's kitchen and grabs a cloth and runs it under a cold tap. Squeezing the excess water out, he takes it and is straight in the room with you and is kneeling by your side. He places the cloth on your forhead, and stays by yours side, waiting patiently for you to wake up.

You start to come round and your vision starts getting a little clearer. That's when you look up and see Terry sat beside you as your lead down on the floor, and he is holding your hand, gently stroking it with his thumb. "Hey there she is, just lie still for me ok?" "Terry? Why am I on the floor?" He sits a little closer to you. "Y/N you fainted, dont you remember? We were talking and then you just fell. You need to lie still until you feel a little better, then I'm going to take you to the hospital to get you checked out. We need to find out why you fainted" "Terry I know why I fainted" He looks confused. "You do?" "Yeh, but it's a little embarrassing. It's my time of the month and my pains have been really bad today. My painkillers didnt help and the pain was too much"

He has a sadness in his eyes, and he rests his hand against your cheek. "Why didnt you say anything Y/N? And why did you come to the lesson if you were in pain?" "I was hoping some exercise would help ease the pain, but I found out the hard way that I was wrong. I'm sorry Terry I didnt mean to worry you" "Dont be silly Y/N, dont apologise for this. You dont deserve to feel that kind of pain and to suffer in silence. If the pains are this bad then you need to talk to someone. So I'm still taking you to the hospital. If a pain is so bad it makes you pass out, it needs to be dealt with" "Thank you Terry, that's very like of you to help me" He strokes your cheek with his thumb.

"So, when you feel a bit more human, let me know and I will help you sit up for a drink of water, then I will drive you to the hospital. Your health is my main priority" "Your a very kind man Terry" You say as he smiles down at you. "I'm glad you think that Y/N. You know, this isnt how I was going to plan my afternoon" "And why's that? I'm guessing you weren't planning on being a first aider" You both chuckle at your comment. "No your right I wasnt, but...what I was planning on doing was asking you what you are up to Friday night?" Your a little taken back, but assumed he wanted to plan another lesson. "I'm I dont have any plans, but I already have a lesson booked with you on Thursday and I wouldnt want to take up too much of your time-" He chuckles at you again. "No no Y/N that's not what I mean. I wanted to know if you were free Friday night, and if you were, I'd like to take you out to dinner"

You cant belive your ears, Terry Silver is asking you out! You reach over and pinch your arm. "What are you doing?" "Just making sure I'm not dreaming" This makes him laugh lightly. "You...You want to take me out to dinner?" "Yes Y/N, I really would. I wont lie, I have had feelings for you for a long time, your very beautiful and I want to treat you the way you deserve. So?...what do you say?" "I say....what time are you picking me up?" He smiles at you before saying "7.30, it's a date"

[tonberry-yoda]

So I wanna do a romantic hunter x hunter matchup and idk if I’m doing it right but whatever🧍‍♀️Im a female and im a ISTP.

I love being alone but I definitely don’t mind company and actually get lonely sometimes if I don’t interact with somebody.

Places with a bunch of people make me dizzy and annoyed idkidk🥲 so I like quiet places

I never start conversation first and I’m rlly shy at first but yk if I have to tell someone something I’ll do it fr😭 like If you’re being mean or annoying u bet I’m gonna tell u something.

And sometimes I have no filter but most of the time I do. I can say I’m pretty humble.ykyk

I’m honestly not a fan of PDA… holding hands is fine and so is kissing as long as you don’t go overboard it’s fine….but I’d prefer private affection.

Im 5’3 and I have brown skin and dark shoulder hair. And I wear glasses most of the time. My style changes everyday, but I think my main is grunge.

I have a type, and it’s respectful, nice, kind hearted guys, introverted, (even tho i am, I just can’t handle overly talkative or energetic ppl🥲🥲)

And honestly I’m kinda harder on guys than I am with girls…I hate men but like ykyk…… expect if u are not overly energetic and loud then you’re getting on my good side😁

My love language is words of affirmation. But ofc I don’t care what love language u give me

Idk if this is enough information…LMAO SORRY😭💀

hi!!! i dont get a lot of hunter x hunter requests so i knew i had to get this one done! i absolutely love this anime and it's almost rare to find fans??? unless that's just me lmao. but anyway! onto the matchup because i have the perfect character for you! <3

the character I chose for you is...

KURAPIKA!!!

i mean come on

he's introverted and is willing to tell someone off if he needs you

he also doesnt like PDA so you're all good there

i feel like he is that perfect man that isnt a dude (i mean he totally looks like a girl) so he's the perfect guy for you tbh

he respects you to an insane degree

he knows you can take care of yourself, so he doesnt need to be up your ass about everything and feel like he needs to protect you

he just needs to be your boyfriend and that is something he can handle

he cares about you so much

will give you the best hugs and gifts

he's the perfect guy if you just want to be alone

like he would hang out with you, but it would be silence of you just hanging out, so you feel alone, but in the company of your boyfriend!

he really does care about you like a lot

and definitely doesnt want to lose you, so just show him your love and he'll do the same in return! :)

matchup rules --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

[yourpalghost]

Sorry im chatty this morning but

Yall sometimes

Sometimes its SO hard to accept that I’m sick.

Like, I know a lot of it is shame and what not. Most of it is. Some of the problem is imposter syndrome and stuff of the likes. Downplaying my own issues, thinking im doing it for attention, etc.

Like. Im not important enough to be sick. I SHOULD be able to do XYZ. Oh its not THAT bad, people have it worse. Does that REALLY hurt or are you just faking? Afterall, thats also just normal.

So like, I have chronic fatigue so i’m always tired and since my baseline moved, i don’t notice how tired i am until its even worse and sometimes the worse isnt an extra sleepy feeling, its my body feeling heavy, brain fog, and often times being more prone to crying (i call this the sleepy weepies).

I have a connective tissue problems which lead to constant pain so my baseline moved so I don’t notice the pain until it gets worse but sometimes the “getting worse” is just feeling like im gonna vomit for no clear reason, feeling dizzy, or sweating all of a sudden(also brain fog but I usually attribute that to the fatigue). (Not to even mention the literal excruciating periods I have that literally leave me shaking and in so much extra pain Im regularly on the verge of blacking out AND STILL GO ABOUT LIFE. Thats its own additional bullshit)

And these two things are going on together at all times

Those questionnaires that are like “where is your base level of pain”? I cant answer them because the pains so constant my brains blocked it out so its at a zero. Its like how your brain blocks out your nose or the sound of your heart beat in your ears. How it sometimes blocks out the feeling of certain things against your skin and just registers it as pressure.

My finger is fucking shattered right now(its healing up well) but like aside from the initial SURPRISE of getting it fucking crushed, it “doesnt hurt”. Because i regularly experience worse pain than BREAKING A FUCKING BONE. The pain is at zero but i feel sick. If someone else who wasn’t an experiencer of chronic pain jumped in my body, they would be on the ground in agony. And like I know im IN pain because painkillers when I do use them jusy dull itfrom distracting to noticeable unless im fortunate enough to have been granted the big boy pain meds that make you silly. That shit? Works. When it wears off, my whole body aches and hurts and it sucks.

AND WHILE ALL OF THIS IS TRUE, I STILL FEEL LIKE IM NOT SICK ENOUGH TO BE CONSIDERED SICK.

I hurt all the time and im so fucking tired all the time but I just keep going because “its not that bad” and while I need various aids (knee braces, wrist braces, honestly a chair or scooter, migraine glasses, and more) I just dont use them or cant justify getting them.

God the way that a mobility aid would improve my quality of life is astounding and I recognize thats enough of a reason to then say “then I need it”, brain also wont let me! Because idk man? I just gotta “push through”.

I started this forlorn and now im mad. Mad at me and my situation and everything really. Im so fucking tired and in lots of pain and I just wish it didnt suck so hard. I just wish i wouldn’t push myself. Yall I have to have other people tell me “you dont want to go to the store, you want to go for a walk” so I dont push myself to be productive on my days off. I had to convince myself to stay home from classes today instead of pushing myself through it to then have to recover wednesday and not vane enough time to recover and then push myself through thursday and then have to push myself all the way back through again to start the damn cycle over next week.

Im working on accepting that im sick and its hard and we all have days where we relapse into “no im not im just xyz” but gdi. Im sick im sick im sick. I am disabled, my shits debilitating, its chronic im sick IM SICK I AM SICK

[moontint]

get to know me game (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ☆

tagged by the cutest! person! alive! : @loves0ft

tagging:♡ @evenofmyday ♡ chatoyervictoria ♡ junez ♡ yukicrossu ♡ @pssionfruits ♡ @guhara ♡@soulazul ♡ @un1over ♡

birthday: november 9

favourite colour: lavender and periwinkle

do you have pets?: no but my sister has a dog named nikko. we look after him sometimes, so that's the closest i have to a pet

how tall are you?: like 5'4?

how many pairs of shoes do you own?: that i regular wear, 3. i have a few more but i never wear them

favourite song: atm big flirt by lil hero and it's a wrap by mariah carey ft mary j blige, shooting star by xg

favourite movie: i dont watch movies. but lol i'd have to say white chicks or rush hour

who would be your ideal partner?: i feel like that closest would be, if you know who stephanie soo is, her cousin dan dan 🤭🥰 that type of personality i love. i could spend the rest of my life with someone like him

do you want children?: i keep going back and forth with it. idk. i feel like i need to be in a serious relationship and be married to have a final answer

have you gotten in trouble with the law?: lol does running a redlight count?

what colour socks are you wearing?: orange with lighting bolts

favourite type of music: pop, kpop, rap, old school reggaeton, the old mexican music every parents likes, like marco antonio solis, stuff like that. ig ive been listening to more bandas too.

how many pillows do you sleep with?: i use a body pillow as a pillow... i used to have pillows but idk what happened to them, and i keep putting off buying pillows

what position do you sleep in?:  my sides or fetal position. im trying to force myself to sleep on my back bc i heard that good for you, but i sleep better on my sides/fetal

what don’t you like when you’re sleeping: i takes me a while for me to sleep. or when i'm about to fall asleep my leg fucking jolts and im awake, so thats a recent thing thats been happening to me sometimes

what do you have for breakfast: i don't usually eat breakfast. but if i have something, its usually a match iced tea / iced chai tea latte from starbucks with something from their bakery

have you ever tried archery?: in school for gym class... i fucking sucked at it. but on wii sports... i'm the baddest bitch

favourite fruit: starfuits, cherries, strawberries, mangos, peaches, kiwis, mandarines 🤤

are you a good liar?: yes? no? idk ig i am

what’s your personality type?: idk, bc every time i take that damn quiz it always changes!!! like how can ive gotten intp, infp, enfp, istp, isfp like?!?!!?

innie or outie?: innie

left handed or right handed?: right

favourite food: sopes!!! or pupusas!!! fuckin loves those

favourite foreign food: i love thai food. everything ive tried is just sooo good. ughhhh!! Phở too!

am i clean or messy?: hehe i say im organized messy, but ppl say im clean. bc i am but the only thing that i have that is 'messy' is my bed, bc i never make it... and even that isnt messy, but my mexican parents say otherwise

most used phrase: 

how long does it take for you to get ready: depending. when i work at the school, about 30-40 minutes. but when i work at the clubhouse, about 10-15 minutes.

do you talk to yourself?: hehe yeah

do you sing to yourself?: only when i'm alone or in my car

are you a good singer?: i dont think so. id say average but i dont sing in front of anyone to know if i am

biggest fear?: idk, i feel like anything if i overthink it. heights?? but i like rollercoasters... but i'll get dizzy if i look over the second floor of a mall... going to the top of the willis tower made me dizzy. the deep ocean 😳

are you a gossip?: no, but ppl tell me gossip so i hear it regardless

do you like long or short hair?: both are nice

favourite school subject: english or social studies. art

extrovert or introvert: introvert

what makes you nervous: having ppl look at me. i hate making eye contact with ppl. but like if im ordering something i will look at the cashier, i'm not a dickhead. just hate looking at ppl or ppl looking at me in passing, especially when im driving

who was your first real crush?:  this guy named martin in first grade. i thought he was cute. lol but apparently we dated but i NEVER spoked to him or had a class with him. sooo... idk how we dated, but a classmate of ours told me in sixth grade that we did, and that threw me off, bc like i said, i never spoke to him. lol so i technically cheated on him like three times without knowing... sorry man

how many piercings?: seven atm. i wanna get my collar bones and maybe like one more ear piercing but idk what yet

how many tattoos?: none yet bc i still live with my parents and i feel like they will kick me out if i do

how fast can you run?: idk i dont have a reason to run. id say average??!??

what colour is your hair?: dark brown and blonde. im forcing myself to grow it out bc i fucked it up too much. wigs have been helping me fight the urge but i still wanna dye it!!!

what colour are your eyes?: dark brown

what makes you angry: those fucking bright led headlights!!!! i hate those things. that shit shouldnt be legal, its distracting, and i will bash your lights you dickhead

do you like your name?: i used to hate it bc i make me think of old white ladies but now im okay with it. i like my middle name or the nicknames my nephews used to call me when they were first starting to talk

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?: idc but i have i strong feeling that, if i do have kids, my first one will be a girl. idk why but i'm calling it

what are your strengths?: i'm a good listener, i have a good patience

what are your weaknesses?: i get annoyed easily

what is the colour of your bedspread?:  white

colour of your room: white

[pjsk-writin]

aaa hey!!! its me i requested haruk with a s/o who has pots i just want to tell you how much i appreciate u <33 idk if u did any research but it definitely looks like you did you wrote it very nicely!!!!! i wouldbt wanna change anything at all you represented it rlly well!! but could i request one more if its ok? (i understand u have a lot of requests so if not you can always decline this or if its out of your comfort zone)

but if you are ok with writing one more could you do maybe smth about what she’d do if the reader fainted? like for me personally (pots is different for a lot of people, some people need walking sticks im so sorry i forgot the name my brain isnt braining today some ppl dont like me thankfully when i do gymnastics i just have to pace myself and take a lot of breaks because if not my heartrate gets too fast and i could faint lol) sorry i got off topic ahah but badically for me sometimes my episodes r really bad and i faint back to back but i can tell when an episofd is about to happen bc i get dizzy and i start sweating/feeling rlly hot and shaky and my heartrate gets waaay too fast which theb i know to sit down n stuff but even then i faint anyways and sometimes its back to back liek once i wake up i could go iut again and it can happen a few times so could you maybe do hcs of what she’d do if the reader was having an episode like that and the reader maybe feels kind of scared bc honestly no matter how many times it happens its always scary but 🤗 tysm one last thing DONT OVERWORK URSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF WE KNOW U LOVE US BUT WE LOVE U TOO AND WANT THE BEST FOR U anyways god this paragraph is long

awww, well ty!! i did do research, id hate to write smth and get it completely wrong- im glad you think so!! and ofc it's ok!! but ahhh I see I see,, well I am making sure to take care of myself, i appreciate you all and I hope yall are also taking care of yourself!!!! idm the paragraph at all, but I do hope you like this!! <3

♧ FAINTING - Haruka Kiritani x Reader

As I mentioned, Haruka gets really good at noticing your symptoms, so when she picks up on them, she'll rush to your side

During the ones where you end up fainting, she'll help you to either sit or lay down, either way keeping you leaned against her

She'll rub your shoulders even while you're passed out, her touch as gentle as can be

Once you wake up and you don't faint again, she'll hold out her bag to you. She doesn't know what exactly you need after fainting, but she's pretty certain that her bag has everything that you would ask her for anyway

If you wake up and promptly faint again, she continues to support you and keep you safe until you eventually wake up again

She's aware that those episodes are scary, she'd honestly be surprised if you weren't scared, so afterwards, she's very gentle with you

"Hey, dear? You're okay, you're safe. I'll always be right here for you." She'll always make sure to say something like that to you after an episode, she just cares about you a ton <3

[cutlikediamonds]

i might be a lot more active here for the summer lol

so i just finished my first year away at school which honestly it had high highs but also low lows so i dont mind coming back home but at the same time, the highs i got were mostly even possible because i wasnt home. my family means well and i love them and i dont want us to ever become estranged or anything but there was just a lot of unresolved trauma and grief among all of us and getting to escape that did wonders for my mental health and even my relationship with them. but i have no where else to be for the summer but home, where i dont have my bedroom anymore and im sleeping on the couch, and where i feel like im surrounded by people who are forever going to cling to a version of me theyve had since i was a kid because they refuse to realize i grew up or that they ever hurt me, intentional or not. 

(and it wasnt intentional ever, i know that, which makes everything more complicated because i know im valid in my anger about it but also know that they genuinely didnt mean it. its complicated. families are complicated.) 

anyways, that itself is kinda fine on its own. its stressful and it requires all my efforts of self advocacy and regulating my emotions but i was doing okay taking on the challenge mostly. 

but ive been here a couple weeks now and something has become incredibly clear that i wasnt really ready for, this house is still so goddamn disordered when it comes to weight and eating and its only gotten way fucking worse. 

part of me getting out of here and healing was i got to be completely in control of my own food and restart that incredibly unhealthy relationship from scratch and heal a bit for once. maybe even exercise for reasons that werent self-punishment. i got to finally figure out what foods i even liked because i wasnt just only considering calories and guilt anymore. now im home and i guess i forgot that they all stayed here and didnt get the same experience, theyve only gotten worse. and theyre supportive of me working on my mental health, even if they dont always understand, but ive never told them about my own eating disorder so of course they arent thinking anything of it, but im already relapsing. 

i went from not even having access to a scale to having two in the house. they instantly went back to calling me the skinny one. they love boasting about the number on the scale going down and how small their appetite is now and how they arent even hungry - they do not comment on the throwing up and the dizziness theyre getting from the injections. 

yeah, injections. not that im expecting an audience but for anyone reading, if youve ever heard of those injections that are originally for diabetics that are now being marketed for weight loss (as if it isnt hard enough for diabetics to get the treatment they need in this fucking country), thats what my brother and sister are on thats making them shed all this weight. my mom isnt on it but shes her usual self, being over supportive of toxic behaviors and trying to hide ‘junk’ food and shit from them, passing it all off as her being helpful. 

the thing is its again complicated too. i dont wanna be negative when they try to celebrate their weight loss, i know its something that has genuinely troubled them for years and i can tell this means a lot to them, but fucking come on. i dont need to be a psychologist to see how wrong this all is. i know its a lot harder to do the real work of unpacking your relationship with your body and diet and find a healthy balance but if this is the easy way out they take instead? 

theyre obsessive. i just saw my brother weigh himself after eating. my sister is body checking every time she passes the mirror. my mom keeps saying the calories in everything when either of them are looking for something to eat. someone told them ‘i heard most people gain back most of the weight after something like this’ (which is true) and its like they just refused to hear it - ‘im not gonna let that happen.’ hey, as someone who had the exact same fucking mindset when i lost a crazy amount of weight and was scared of one day gaining it back, yeah you fucking will. 

and thats what sucks. is i can see how shitty this all is but im too weak to help because its all just triggering me and now i dont wanna stop so i cant make them stop cuz then id have to too. i dont want to admit my own problems yet, then they try to stop me. call me a hypocrite, i am one, i dont know what you want from me. i think ive made it pretty clear we arent very mentally well here. 

so thats why im gonna post here more. i dont wanna tell anyone about it cuz i dont wanna admit how much it triggers me, and i also am sick of trauma dumping and venting to friends, so im just gonna grin and bear it and scream about it here. 

im down five pounds. its nothing compared to the tens of pounds theyve lost already, but they are kinda cheating arent they so im not even gonna bother comparing. my hw was 170, it was my sw for the worst stint of my restriction. i got all the way to 129, then started antidepressants among other changes and was stuck in the 130s and scared of gaining more for a while, then actually got a little bit happy and gained up to the 150s where ive stayed ever since. i never got to loving my body, i honestly still had a super long way to go with recovering. but it was something. im 151 this morning, i really really really want to keep going. if i can end the summer and start the next semester at 140... 

so yeah. ill see you guys later. this made me feel better. 

i hope everyone else is having a safe summer. 

[cynettic]

Kissing Genshin Characters before you Die

Summary - Kissing the Genshin Characters one last time before you enter the battlefield.

Pairings - Reader x Albedo / Barbara / Bennett / Beidou / Chongyun / Diluc / Eula / Kazuha / Kaeya / Ayaka / Ningguang / Childe / Venti / Xiao / Zhongli

Warnings - Angst, death mentions

Tips - I wrote this listening to ‘Lovely’ and ‘Listen before I go,’ so it might make it better if you listen to both those songs while reading this :’) Both are by Billie Eilish btw, both reverb and slowed down songs for the extra angst

A/N - Im so tired, so so tired of human interaction and having no motivation to talk to people. Its like my social battery simply does not recharge, and I'm stuck writing about interactions I wish I could have, even if it's angst. Burying myself in the delusion that being in a different reality would change everything, burying myself in little imaginations and dreams of a love that doesn't exist.

Also yes, if you did notice the song lyrics playing at first are from "If the World was Ending," used to listen to that song so much. Thought it would fit this :)

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

It was absolute chaos, flames crawling up the wooden buildings and spreading smoke through the nation of Teyvat. Everything burned with the scorching heat, children crying, men and woman trying to run from the unescapable flames. Terror etched into citizens faces when encountering the monsters who appeared unaffected by the destruction.

Hilichurls and ruin guards smashing past people, till there was nowhere to run. And it was the mere decision of whether being beaten to death or burnt crisp was a better way to leave this world.

“You’d come over and you’d stay the night.”

But there you were, weapon in hand as you stood up against the blaze. Strong against the unblinking inferno in front of you, unwavering as you stood in front of the monsters that eagerly rushed towards you. Cut and obliterated in seconds, your eyes held nothing but a sickening disgust.

You slowly turned back to your s/o, relief quenching your heart when they were safe in the little location you’d found for them. They were injured, they wouldn't be sitting on the sidelines otherwise. And holding your weapon up again, you claimed the role of protector against the hoard of monsters.

“Would you love me for the hell of it?”

Their voice broke past your focus, a ragged sound that was suffering. It only took you a few strides till you reached them, crouching down to face them fully. Your faces were mere inches away, and you could see the frustration on their face. A deeply rooted feeling that fueled the action as they curled their hand around your head. Pressing your lips against theirs, one last kiss before you assumed the role of predator against the monsters.

“All our fears would be irrelevant.”

Both hands coming to hold their face, you pressed forwards into their kiss. Grasp tight against them, clinging onto them as if they were your lifeline.

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

You kissed them as if the world wasn't a aflame, like it was just you both sitting there. Hands grasping for their skin, for their lips, for them. Because without them you couldn't live in this smoldering world, a bright light that cocooned you in its comforting warmth. Nothing like the blazing flames that surrounded the two of you.

You kissed them like they were the only thing that mattered.

“The sky’d be falling and I’d hold you tight.”

But you felt the shake in their hands as they pressed their hand against your back, scared to let you go, scared to lose you. Scared to let this kiss end and have to face the scorching reality.

“And there wouldn't be a reason why.”

You pressed one last kiss to their forehead, basking in their embrace once more between you broke away. The look on your face was confident as you faced them one last time, softened by their teary eyes. Whispering soft words to them, you could only watch as they broke down, a tight feeling in your chest urging you to do the same.

But no, you had to be strong. For them, for yourself, for all of Teyvat. You slowly turned to the flames and monsters, holding up your weapon, screaming one last battle cry as you let your weapon lead your actions. As you let death become your only objective in a flurry to protect your partner.

“We would even have to say goodbye.”

Sobs wretched out of their throat as they watched you crumble, watched you fall the ground and collapse. Till the movement of your chest came to an abrupt stop, and monsters pooled at your sides.

They were forced to watch, unable to move.

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

Their cries turned to whimpers, until they couldn't hear the noises that spilled form their lips. Until they didn't care. What they cared about was thrown on their battlefield, beaten and ragged, torn and broken.

Dead.

“You’d come over… right?”

_-_-_-_-_

Albedo

He takes his time, hand on the back of your neck pushing you so hard against him till he’s woozy. Memorizing the feel of your plush lips against his, molding them into memory with every kiss. He’ll break away from your lips, pressing soft pecks up your face, along your nose, to your forehead. Infatuated with the way your hands gently hold his face, careful, delicate. He doesnt want to let you go, and with one final peck right between your eyes, he’ll close his eyes, whispering a goodbye as you leave. He doesnt open them when you die, he doesnt open them when the monsters reach him. No, he dies in your embrace, even if its not real.

Barbara

Desperate, oh so desperate. She doesnt know what to do with you when you press your hands to her face, tearful. You’ll have to be the one to initiate the kiss, muffling her cries with a short lived sweetness between the two of you. She’ll have her hands all over you, unsure of how to hold you, how to press you against her. She wants to stay like this forever, and even if her kisses are sloppy and messy, she’s crying too much to notice. She won’t break away, you’ll have to tug your way out of her grip and press one last kiss to her forehead. Her voice is angelic, even when she cries. You remind yourself that this is what you’re protecting as you enter the battlefield, giving it your all.

Beidou

Oh she knows, knows how this will play out. The kisses shared between the two of you are strong and compassionate, its more intense than any other kiss you’ve both shared before. Because she knows. She knows what’ll become of you and her, that this is the last kiss she’ll share with you, that there's nothing she can do about it. She lets herself indulge in you, her strong hold on you never letting go until you vocally ask her to let you go. You make her promises she knows you can't keep, but simply smiles, telling you to come back to her.

Bennett

Awkward, his hands will grab your shoulders when you approach him, pressing for a kiss immediately. He misses his mark, accidentally pressing his lips to the edge of your lips, noses bumping against each other as he tries to shift his face. You chuckle, holding his face as you adjust the angle, till you can fully reach his lips and press him against you. Like Barbara, he’ll cry, letting himself melt into you. He doesnt resist when you back away, whispering to him. Just sitting there he’ll cry, sob through it all, vision blurry with tears. But its better that way, he can picture you better when everything is fuzzy.

Chongyun

Everything was smoldering hot, too much for Chongyun who has so much yang energy trapped in him. He’s going through one of his rushes when you get to him, eager to tuck you into his arms. His kisses are sporadic, like he’s trying to kiss you but he cant. Like no matter how much his lips meet yours, it isnt enough. He wants more, he wants the promise of your forever embrace ingrained in his head. And when you break away, he’s left empty, the kisses he’d given you the only warmth on his lips. Suddenly everything was cold, so cold, and he only wished for you.

Diluc

Too rough, mashing your lips against his until you couldn't breath. Dizzy with the lack of oxygen, he didn't stop. You were ‘his,' right here right now, no one could take you away from him. You belonged alongside him, crouched in front of him, pressed into his arms where he could keep you safe. He wouldn't let you go, strong arms pulling you to his chest so firmly that you couldn't escape. He wanted to be selfish, he let himself indulge in the promise to himself that you weren't going anywhere. You’ll have to physically break out yourself, pressing back his hands as he tries to make a grab for you, tears brimming.

Eula

You were her everything, and she’ll tell you it through her kisses. She’ll run her hands along the curve of your back, holding you tenderly against her. She doesn't wish for vengeance for all the soft kisses you’ve stolen from her good days long ago, no, she’s willing to forgive you for everything as long as you’ll ‘stay.’ She promises that in all honesty, she loves everything about you, even if she denies it sometimes. And when you leave, she tells you to come back. That its the one and only thing she’ll hold against you if you don't.

Kazuha

Soft, so incredibly sensual with every touch. Kazuha was always filled with words, filled with lovely compositions made for you and only you. But now, he couldn't think of anything, no haiku he’d written in the past that compared to what he felt right now. Metaphors and hidden meanings couldn't compare to the raw pulsing throb he felt in his chest. “I love you,” he whispered, plain and simple. It held so much affection, he was afraid even those words weren't enough to express what he felt, but he settled with it either way. “I love you,” he repeated, brushing your lips against his before he said it again. “I love you.” He said it again, even as you left, entering the battlefield. He didn't stop saying it, not when he saw the monsters take you, not when they approached him with the promise of death. “I love you.”

Kaeya

He doesnt kiss you, because kisses to Kaeya are a sort of affection that brings the sense of normalcy. He likes the way your lips feel against his, but holding you against him is more special. He doesnt depend on kisses to express what he feels, instead pushing your head to his chest, sighing when your own arms come to wrap around him. No kisses, no touches, just you and him. Offering each other your last shreds of hope, because in the end, you only need each other.

Ayaka

“Look at me.” Her hand cups your cheeks just as you do to her. Now you both simply stare into each others eyes, love and adoration filling hers. She loves you, oh she loves you so much. But she understands duty better than anyone, the urge to protect you almost consuming her. When she kisses you, its soft, butterfly kisses. She doesn't rely on the contact to keep her grounded, no holding your face is a gift enough for her. To stare at you, even for one last time, is all she needs. You’ve given her so much, she would follow you to the ends of the world if you asked her to, and that's why it hurts her so much to watch you fall. She closes her eyes, noticing that she’d follow soon after and perhaps see you in the afterlife. No, she would, that's a promise she makes to herself.

Ningguang

Ningguang has delt with loss before, the concept isnt foreign to her. But you… you’re more than the jade chamber, more than any possession she has. You’re precious, like she sold a piece of her heart to you that she could never gain back. You took it from her, and you plan to take it with you to the battlefield. All she can do is press her lips against yours. Kiss you and the world beside you both becomes meaningless, until air becomes a chore instead of a necessity. Because without air she'd kiss you forever.

Childe

Details, in the case that Childe himself cant fight alongside you, he’ll hold you and repeat the details in his head. The way his hand feels on your hair, how soft or rough your lips are against his. How you fit against him, how badass you look out in the battlefield. He won’t stop you from leaving him, because he knows that if this case was reversed, he’d want you to let him go too. So he presses intimate kisses, slow ones that dont consist of a fight for dominance like they usually do. No, he wants to tell you how much he loves you, one last time.

Venti

He doesnt know what to do, pressed against you firmly. He presses soft kisses, but theres no emotion, he doesn't know how to express himself here. He’s lost a lot, lost so much in his existence, but nothing prepared him for this. Only after a kisses will he ask to cry, and when you tell him yes he’ll press his head against your shoulder. He’ll sob, hands gripping the fabric of your shirt as he does so. And then he kisses you while tears stream down his face, mashes your lips against his until his face grows numb. And he’ll continue to feel numb when you leave, when you die, when he dies.

Xiao

He doesn't know what to do, Xiao has never felt so utterly useless when you crouch to him. Form battered and bruised, when you embrace him he feels whole again. You’re his world, he doesn't care about the blazing inferno just beside you, the monsters that threaten all of Teyvat. You are his everything, what he strives to protect and keep safe. Kisses with him are breathless, both of you passionately pulling each other closer. He cant get enough of you, he wants all of you, every single piece. Molded into his embrace until you cant get out. When you break away, he tries to pull you to him, but he finds himself only able to move in the slightest. But Xiao is a protector, he is ‘your’ protector. He follows you as you head to the battlefield, dragging his limp body in a crawl to get closer. He doesn't stop when he sees the monsters overtake you, no, he continues. Just until he reaches your body, grabbing you and holding your corpse into his chest. He numbs out the monsters that attack him, knowing sullenly that he's going to die. But death doesn't seem so bad, not beside you.

Zhongli

As someone who always has control over the situation, Zhongli will be able to adapt quickly. But he doesnt want you to suffer, admiring you for being so strong when everything presses against you. He wishes to relieve the weight if only a little bit with a few kisses. Sensual and intimate, he wants to support you, and if he cant do it on the battlefield he’ll do it right here. Hold you close and promise you that he’ll always be there for you. Only after you die does he allow himself to cry, not wanting to have burdened you with his tears.

[introloves]

anon: okay so i just went through (the entirety) of your bokuto tag and lemme just say, boxer! bokuto??? yeah top tier. you just KNOW that every time he wins he wraps that medal round your neck and makes you watch in the mirror as he uses it to choke you and keep your head up and eyes on his while he absolutely rails you. shit after fights you’d look just as bruised as him.

— boxer! bokuto + marking + choking + pain + possessive! bokuto + overstimulation + size kink + bokuto calls reader ‘puppy’ + cream pie + f! reader

— word count; 2k

— boxerverse! bokuto: one shot no. 2

he’s trembling, high strung with the adrenaline that still hasn’t left him. it’s funny seeing him whine for your attention, someone so big and muscular like him looking absolutely destroyed when you give him a stern look against his kisses.

it’s so very apparent in the way he handles you that hes looking at you to help him come down.

“bo, calm down.” you pant, trying to push his hands away, its a futile attempt to keep his wandering fingers away from your pants. its like he’s magnetized to the waistband of them, digits twitch when you slap them down.

he’s big, strong, a finely tuned machine built for taking hits and giving them back like a bullet but your rejection makes him pout.

there’s a twist of pain in your chest when he gets like this, but he needs to rest.

despite everything, he acts like its just been another day, but it hasn’t even been two hours since his last fight. theres a bruise painting his lip, another one against his brow, red splotches litter his sides and stomach but he shakes your prying hands off thick wrists, fingers hooking into your waistband and pulling them down to your thighs. he looks up at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes ever. waiting for the okay he knows is inevitably going to come.

“fine, but if i see you wince, we’re stopping.” you sigh, smiling at the absolute beam of teeth and curled lips he gives you.

he’s so fast, peeling off every bit of clothing you had worn tonight. he had to have you, needed it like he needed that win.

a win that he already has, now he just needs you.

you cant deny that his excitement isn’t making you wet, he’s like a god above you, vying for your attention and body. he was truly glorious tonight, muscles taut and coiled as he bounced along the white canvas. biceps curled and ready for his opening to land one of his signature right hooks. he takes every hit against his body like it’s nothing, completely unfazed by his opponent. at one point during the match he taunted them, dropping his arms and baring his teeth, just waiting for the fight to truly get good. it makes you squirm, he could be so intimidating, watching like a predator for any opening, any hole in the opponents defense.

your body flushes in memory of watching him land that final hit, he sees the way your thighs squish together. groaning at the thought that your body was responding to his advances, surely knowing by memory how good he fucks you.

your bo always looks so strong and powerful. no matter where he is, whether he’s fighting or when he’s trapping you against those strong arms.

it makes you sigh at the pure determination he’s dripping in, rolling your eyes as he gives you a once over, wiggling his eyebrows at you, torso stretching to reach something from the bedside table, canines flashing as he shows you his newest trophy. its a devious look, proud eyes glinting down at you.

you feel that you can read his mind, about to tell him that, no you won’t fuck him while he’s wearing it, but he lowers it over your head, giving you a bigger smile as the heavy and cold metal lands right between your tits.

“that looks real good on you.” he finally says, abs contracting with the pangs of arousal crawling up his neck. he flinches just a bit at the soreness there, he’s a little more beat up than usual, but hides it well. if there’s anything he needs other than rest, its to fuck you dizzy.

he thinks he might be a total meat head with just how much he likes the image of you wearing something he worked so hard to win, a primal heat licking at the arousal also flaring inside him. you’re really truly his, bokuto can see it in your eyes, regarding him like hes strung the moon up in the sky.

you belong to him, just as he does you. just like that shiny medal you’re wearing.

the bed creaks under his weight when he leans down to kiss you, hand grabbing your face, keeping you right where he wants you. tongue immediately slipping past your lips, pulling a cute whine. he’s sloppy with it, teeth bumping against your own, spit trailing down the corner of both your mouths. when he pulls away, your eyes cross to watch the string of spit connecting the both of you.

he swipes his tongue out and catches it, mumbling something when he sees you reach for him.

“sit back.” you realize he says a little late, snapped out of the haze by the gentle tap of his index finger against your cheek.

koutarou makes a show to peel the rash guard he was wearing under his shorts off. his creamy, muscled thighs finally grace your vision. it makes your body temperature rise several degrees at once, the hot flash only encouraged when you see his dick lying pretty against his thigh. you reach for him, but the advance is stopped by his hands, he doesnt say anything but grips your wrists a little tighter.

your gaze moves from his purpled knuckles up to his eyes, the amber there looks just a tad bit cooler and you immediately know it’s going to be a bad day for you tomorrow.

“want you on your tummy.” bokuto states, and you listen.

waiting for his hands to grip your hips, but he lags just a little. turning your head to look at him you ask if everything’s okay,

“you remember our safe word?” he inquires, and you nod, blanching just a little. his words send a prickle of fear down your spine, you suddenly feel very vulnerable and exposed.

“well, what is it?”

bokutos hand comes down to grip your shoulder, huffing against your ear. theres a small pull there, bringing your shoulders back to meet him halfway.

“j-juice.”

he’s right there, waiting for the last syllable to leave your lips, poking the head of his dick against your cunt. it leaves you breathless, smooth, velvet skin leaving a wet trail of precum right on your clit.

it makes you exhale out a high pitched keen, unable to stop it from tumbling out a little louder than expected.

the whine has him purring, humming out a, “good girl.”

there’s nothing in the world that you can compare the way he splits you open. the first stroke is always careful, makes sure youre nice and relaxed, wet enough to take him. you always are of course, how could you not with the way he holds you, pulling you back by your shoulders, making your back bend as much as it can, the twist of your body like that makes for a real tight squeeze, feels like the already limited room inside your cunt is cut back to an absolute zero.

it should hurt, but you’ve taken him enough that hes practically carved the shape of him into your pussy.

he has you nice and compliant under his hands, head thrown back to leave the most fucked out sounds of pure ecstasy rattle through your lungs and into the room.

he can feel the chemistry, something akin to electricity, between the two of you. if he could form into words what its like when you lean agasint him, completely trusting him to take care of you, to make you feel good, he’d fill a book up- and pocket it to reread over and over.

bokuto releases you, letting your shoulders fall forward gently before reaching around and pulling the, now, warm metal from between your body and the bed.

it catches you by surprise when he gives it a tug, the silk cutting into your prominent veins, making you go weak and dizzy.

if you couldn’t think or talk before he was doing this, you definitely weren’t going to be able to while he was.

your hands find the pillows above you for leverage, biting down onto your lip when he begins a brutal pace against your hips. hes pinned you down onto the bed with his mass, not even letting you arch your hips to give him better access to your cunt.

“ghh, kou- kou feels good.” you cry, taking an index finger into your mouth to bite, theres not a spot on your body where you dont feel him, so big above you, you can feel the press of his dick in your throat.

“i know it does puppy.” he grits out, still biting back the pain that each brutal contact against your body brings him. hes got the stamina, the sweat hes broken out thus far isnt too bad, but the position and the way hes taking you- hand still holding onto that precious medal- is taking a toll on him.

he knows he needs to make you cum fast.

and knowing his sweet baby, the way to do that is to rough you up just a bit. it’s real endearing.

the silk burns just a little when he shifts behind you, making sure to keep a good grip on it- you dont connect the dots of what hes preparing to do, not until he pulls back.

you’re mid scream before he cuts you off, tears forming in your eyes against the rasp and wheeze of your breathing. the tension around your throat isnt forceful enough to cut your oxygen off completely, it just leaves you wheezing and gives you a nice haze to your vision.

you’ve tensed up completely, knees locking, hands gripping the pillow above you for dear life.

the reaction from you makes him shake, you can feel the stutter of his hips, hearing the high whine leave his throat, he powers through it. he clashes his teeth together and snarls, blinking back stars when he speeds up.

“c’mon, cum. cum for me, puppy.” bokuto grunts.

its not like you to not listen, as soon as his words leave his mouth, you’re closing your eyes.

you’ve gone limp for a second, and bokuto truly fears that hes overdone it, he drops the grip he has on his trophy, about to stop everything, but then your tremors start.

your legs, still pinned down between his own, shake. he sees your cute little hands slap the pillow and swallows deeply. you’re silent- but he can hear the echoes of moans that want to leave your throat thanks to your open mouth and head that’s thrown back. it takes you two seconds before you seem to flicker back to life,

“ghhhh, hhhh! koutarou, kou!” his name is the first coherent thing that leaves your mouth, and he swears there’s nothing better. he cant compare you to winning a match, knocking out his opponent in a KO- because seeing you like this, hearing you scream his name like that would win every time.

he’d like to comment on how eagerly you’re milking his cock, but the pulsing of your cunt around his fat, big dick does him in.

there’s no time to pull out, wasn’t planning on it anyways, but the squeezing of you againts him, leaking your cum down to the base of him, wetting his pubes with you, also leaves no room for it.

it’s obscene, the squelching sounds of his pistoning, cumming cock, creaming your insides white, all the while pushing it out of your cunt with every thrust.

it splatters against your ass and his thighs, white globs of it stick against the two of you while he rides out the throbbing. there’s nothing more satisfying than filling you up, a deep tingle nipping at the base of his skull when he thinks about his cum kept warm in your cunt.

this is what finally tires him out. the tremor and twitching of his strong arms visible when he reaches down and pulls his limp dick from you, he saves you the pain of his weight crushing against your already fragile body by plopping down beside you, you jump up on the bed with the force of his weight collapsing beside you.

the sticky heat is no match for his eagerness to hold you after it all. you slot against his front easily, almost completely dwarfed by his frame.

“‘re you proud ‘fme.” he slurs against your neck, trapping his thigh between your legs. he shivers when he feels the mess of his own cum smear absolutely everywhere.

your hand comes down to rest over his arms, protectively secured around your torso.

“always. i love you so much.” you whisper back, voice just a tiny bit raspy and sore.

“mm, loveyoumore.”

he’s out before you can count to ten, hearing you say that puts a smile on his face while his breathing evens out behind you.

you take the lightest of touches to the bruises on his knuckles, your koutarou truly was something else. while he sought out your validation, you basked in the glory and security of someone as grand as him holding you tight.

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons

| requested by anon: “uhhh kinda weird lmao but how would the moriarty bros react to an s/o from the future? (Headcanons) thanks! OwO” |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader

word count: 1355

tw: a few swears, if i’m missing any please let me know!

a/n: i’m so sorry that these are coming out so slow please enjoy!

william: 317 words

please

as soon as you wake up he’ll be staring at you intently

“where am i?”

“durham, england, 1880… and in my room”

it takes you like ten minutes to process everything that’s going on because: “i’m dreaming right??? or did i actually shift???

after finally accepting the fact you indeed did not shift and are not dreaming, you finally looked at the man who had stayed silent during your incoherent ramblings

“you seem more awake now, is it alright if i ask a few questions?”

hhh he’s such a gentleman

you both honestly take this whole time shift thing really well

louis definitely walks in on you two and he’s like,,

“who tf are you and how did you get in”

sdjkfhd pls its so funny when you guys converse

his speaking manner is so refined and yours is just,, yours

but he loves it

he thinks its cute

he comes up with a story for you because there were people who were no doubt going to question how you came into his life

and from there you two hit it off really well

accidentally said you two were to be wed during a conversation and the nobles went insane

when you are on the carriage ride back from the party he apologizes for saying something so out of line

“i wouldn’t mind being married to you, william.”

this man always has something to say but THIS

YOU

he wanted to respond with something witty but you just,, existed and made him melt

“let’s go buy a ring tomorrow then.”

asks you questions about the future

only trivial things, never if his plan works in the long term

but judging by the way you talk about your previous life he can tell that everyone is somewhat equal, except for “the dumbass politicians” you speak about

oh did i mention he picks up your swears too LMAO

louis: 459 words

 he’s heading back to his room when you come OUT of his room

“who tf are you, how did you get into this house, and why are you here”

instant kill mode

you think you’re dreaming so you’re like,, ok cool and you tell him most of your life story and he’s like

??????

has never been more dumbfounded in his life

who is this person and what are they wearing and why are they telling me their life story

eventually the rest of the moriarty team gets involved and matters are settled lmao

you all agree that staying in the manor is the best course of action at the moment

louis thinks you’re taking this a little too well so he’s still a little sus of you

like seriously,, the future?? cmon now

the people you’re working for probably made those weird clothes for you

but anyways

you’re helping him clean the house and cook

“this is fun,,, but honestly?? if i have to do this by myself everyday i would cry”

you keep saying this and you know it’s getting annoying for louis but he ISNT TALKING

if you can’t beat em, annoy em

finally gives in

“how did you used to wash clothes in the future?”

and you get this big smile on your face and you start TALKING

you’re so excited that he finally spoke to you

even tho you know you lowkey annoyed him

but you’re talking and louis is like,, huh

you’re talkative, but not annoying at all

you have little stories that make him laugh sometimes

needless to say you both get closer

but it isn’t until one night louis is making rounds around the manor that he passes by your room and hears crying

so he’s worried and he goes into your room

bruh you try pulling that shit where you wipe away your tears and be like “oh i’m okay!”

like,, no u aren’t

louis makes you spill what’s bothering you

“my friends, my family… are they okay? are they looking for me?? they must be so worried”

note that you’ve already been at the moriarty estate for about two months without any word that you can return to your own time

and louis holds you

he teaches you more about the year that you’re currently stuck in and he tries to take your mind off of the bad things

asks william to buy more books to indulge you bc you have some book withdrawals bc “WHAT DO YOU MEAN A TALE FOR THE TIME BEING HASNT BEEN PRINTED YET” followed by a short crying session

he’s a really good boyfriend

you taught him what a boyfriend was and he couldn’t stop thinking about how much society’s view on relationships changed

albert: 579 words

is walking down the streets at night when he sees you barreling down the road in your clothes

you look pretty scathed when you run right into him

“are you alright?”

you’re scared and out of breath but he’s wearing what you can only assume is a uniform of england

he takes you to his place and tries to calm you down

he asks you questions and you tell him everything straight out

you know you look crazy but you couldn’t bring yourself to care

you were just walking back from a friend’s place IN BROAD DAYLIGHT and you felt dizzy and you woke up alone in a dark alleyway

“where are you from?”

you obviously give him your city but he corrects himself

“what year are you from?”

“2019”

doesn’t want to believe you bc you’re all frantic and maybe insane

but your clothes just seem to different for him to brush off the possibility

tells you to sleep it off and gives you his bed

he’s already writing a letter to his brothers that he’s possibly coming back with someone

“ohoho brother albert has a suitor now?”

anyways, albert asks you more questions about your other life as you’re both on the train to durham

albert went out to buy you more fitting clothes before leaving and you couldn’t even repay him

but he tries to get you in a comfortable position so you don’t spiral again

but he’s genuinely nice about it when he finally accepts the fact that you are in fact from the future

funny enough, you both don’t get each others names until you get onto the train

“oh, my name is albert james moriarty”

and you’re briefly like “oh like sherlock’s nemesis” but then you remember that this is only the victorian era

sherlock holmes doesn’t exist, it’s just a coincidence

so you both get to the manor and he introduces you to the moriarty team and this is where you’re like,,

oh my God

this is real and i know the ending

you suddenly want to travel back further in time and never meet them bc they’re all really sweet towards you

and you got attached to them more than you should have

albert notices you’re a little tense so he makes small conversation to get your mind off of things

“i do like to play the piano”

bro

they have a piano delivered to the house to make you feel more comfortable and hopefully keep you occupied

itching and nostalgic (ironic), you play songs from rachmaninoff and joe hisaishi, despite it being from the future

everyone knows chopin so shhh

“that’s beautiful, did you compose that?”

“no, but another composer did, i don’t even think he exists yet”

you’re very adamant on keeping things the same

like,, no i’m not going to tell you how to create a washing machine because i don’t want to mess up the timeline if i do go back to the future

you do get very sad occasionally because you are homesick and being placed in a world where you have only heard stories of is very disorienting

but albert and the boys make up for it

albert always tries to be by your side and if he can get his hands on a piano sheet he’ll buy one for you and see if you already know it

it’s always nice to have them around, but you know the troubles you’ll eventually have to face

moriarty the patriot taglist: @zoehanji

[prose-for-hire]

Be still my spooky heart

Pairing: Giles x fem!reader

Request: Sorry this isnt a request for the halloween prompts but I wanted to request a female reader x Giles prompt where the reader is alternative/goth and they're bullied and find sanctuary at the library where they keep to themselves and enjoy the peace and quiet of the library where they can read about spooky things and catch up on their studies ...I'm requesting specifically because I start college again soon and there some people there that make me feel unwelcome and Giles is a current comfort

Requested by: @stardust-strange​ - I’m so sorry this took so long love💜

Warning: Discussion of bullying. Reader gets physically injured, but not at anybody else’s hand. Tiniest ever blood mention.

You had always had a love for the alternative. You had a love for all things dark and spooky. It was so fascinating. You adored gothic fashion and notions. It was a beauty that sometimes it felt that only you saw.  

Your clothing reflected this love of yours. You enjoyed wearing black, pairing different styles to your taste. You had always worn alternative clothing. It was the way that you expressed yourself. It made you feel good, made you happy.

You were happy with the way you dressed. It looked good. But other people didn’t really seem to get it. In fact, they took an almost instant dislike to you for it. Some gave you strange looks whilst others hurled insults at you.

You held your head high for the most part, you weren’t doing anything wrong. All you were doing was expressing yourself (and looking super cool while you were doing it). But some days it really got you down.

It got so bad sometimes that you had to hide. In the bathrooms or somewhere private you found on campus. Because the group grew in their hatred of you almost every day it seemed.

Some days you just left. Not turning up to classes, not daring to show your face. Less you face a fate worse than death itself. Your reality, that is.

Often, you could be found leaving the college campus and walking back there. To your safe space.

Your safe place was your old High school’s library. You could spend hours in there. You would read of such brilliant worlds. Both fiction and otherwise. You enjoyed reading about the goriest demons. The worst ones, with the most horrific pasts. Stories and myths. You loved it all. The creepier the better. It fascinated you. It spoke to your very essence.

This was where you were doing today. You were scurrying towards the library. You couldn’t explain it, but it made you feel safe. He made you feel safe.

Protected. From cruel eyes and harsh barbs that people threw your way. With him, it didn’t feel so bad. With him, you felt like you could fight another day.

Giles was your old high school librarian and you had fallen for him. Deeply. Your feelings increasing since you left the school. You barely ever stopped thinking about him. You were closer to graduating college now and yet you still snuck in the school when Snyder wasn’t paying attention.

He was always happy to see you. So welcoming. Warm and affectionate. More so than he was with anyone else, although you didn’t realise it. You usually slipped in, hiding between the stacks. Some days he found you and sat with you. A comfortable silence.

Others, he would let you have your space and wait for you to come and find him. You knew you could always talk to him. No matter what.

He loved your fascination for the macabre. That you would always tackle the heaviest books. Horror and life and death. Fantasy becoming alive in your mind.

He thought your style was brilliant. He would have worn the same should he not be attached to suits in the way he was now. He thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Your style only accentuating your distinctive features.

His heart soared when he saw that you were there, but when he realised that you were upset it hurt him. Almost as deep as it appeared to on your face. It cut worse than a knife through the chest. Than poison to the heart.

Today, was one of those days. A sad one. Your eyes welling when you arrived, his face that had been upturned into a wry smile upon your appearance in his day instantly dropped when he saw your demeanour. The way you curled in upon yourself. The way you hissed sharply at any wrong movement because of the pain.

You had embarrassed yourself, in front of them all. They had laughed, jeered. Shame had you in a chokehold. Their hatred for you cutting off your circulation. Sobs catching in your throat.

You had fallen over, stumbling over your own feet. In the middle of the lecture hall before the professor started.

They laughed. Whispered and jeered at you. Some clapped and shouted. Their voices becoming louder. You felt so humiliated. They spoke of how much of a freak you were. How much you stuck out from the crowd. How much they hated you for it without knowing you. Just because you didn’t fit their idealised mould.

You had skinned your knee. Blood running down your leg, ripping your tights even more than they usually were. You scooped yourself up, leaving the lecture room as fast as you could hobble away.

Tears stung the back of your eyes. Vision blurred. The heavy stream rolling down your face. You could taste it. Salty sadness almost drowning you.

His kind hand lead you to his office. His love cradled you, his deep-rooted care reaching every pore. Every inch of your being. He scanned your tear-stained face.

His jaw tensed, his eyes barely holding the anger that was hidden behind. He needed to know if someone had done this. Had hurt you in this way. He made sure to keep it below the surface, his care at the forefront. His tensing jaw barely hidden as he took your shaking hand in both of his.

“What happened, Y/n?”

“I-“ You shook your head, waves of sobs making your entire body shudder. His eyes shone, he had never seen you this way. You usually wouldn’t show him just how much they hurt you. It broke him. His hands soothingly rubbing against yours.

“If they have laid a hand on you, I will bloody well-” You shook your head quickly, words failing you. Eyes widening at his biting attitude. He was trying to push it under the surface, silencing it until he knew the facts. But when he cared this deeply, when he knew in his very heart that he would near fight the sun had it cast upon your face wrong - this anger could never dissipate.

You deserved the world. You deserved kindness and light. Compassion and adoration. Everything he had wanted to give you, to say to you. You deserved love.

As you began to explain, knowing there was no immediate physical harm waiting outside the walls he could relax. But only slightly. He sat you down and leaned to take out his medical box, opening it. You watched his fingers sort through the bandages and antiseptic.

He gestured, as if asking permission to assist. You nodded through your still burning tears.

He knelt before you, a soothing hand on your thigh briefly before he realised and reluctantly slid his hand from your skin. You leaned in further despite the discomfort at your slight pain, wishing to feel his warm, comforting hand on you again.

But he moved to focus on the now dried wound on your knee. It wasn’t so deep, but the wound was more emotional from what you had explained. Still, he wished to treat you as if you were the only person in the world. In his world.

He began to clean the wound, wiping the dried blood from your knee. He focused with such dedication. Every stroke a practice in devotion. He was so in tune with you.

He hated it when you hissed, his hand resting on your shin now. The touch soothing. With his touch, your tears began to dry.

He pushed his anger way down, deciding that he would save it for when you were gone. When he could ask Willow to hack into the campus register and find the names of those that cause you such pain. Find a way to make them hurt the way they had made you hurt.

No, don’t be rash.

Right now, everything was about you. It was always about you. You were in his every thought. Every movement. Such attention, such dutiful caress.  He rubbed your leg softly, his fingertips barely brushing your skin but you felt it in your very soul.

His mind would tell him later he had done too much. Been too familiar. When you may not feel the same. But he had such care to give. Such love to lay upon you. He had to show you this tenderness.

He bandaged your wound. The intimacy of this action made you sigh softly, your tears in your eyes but your mind now consumed by him.

When he finished dressing your wound with those nimble fingers, he didn’t move from where he was knelt before you.

He stared into your eyes, his words lost. He just gazed in awe. Even in your sorrow, you were strong. Even at a low he found you ethereal. A woman that would not be torn down by this. That could accept his assistance but still stand strong on your own. He admired you for it.

His touch had been tender and you felt yourself missing this contact. As if he read your mind, your most intimate thoughts he rose to his feet. But not before he leaned into you.

Pressing a sweet kiss against your forehead. Feather-light. You closed your eyes, again leaning into his touch. You wanted to grip him and pull him into you. Kiss his lips, allow him to know you. Feel you. But you couldn’t, not today.

Not after you had shared this moment with him. You were still dizzy from even the gentlest contact he had bestowed upon you.

Maybe one day. When you weren’t so reliant on what you already had now. You adored him, needed him. Couldn’t dare ruin this. Lose this.

You loved him and this was the very moment that you realised. You wouldn’t know for months from now that he felt exactly the same.

[kitkat1003]

If you want another Spirit prompt, maybe #1 "Don't give me that look." With Spirit and Pigsy?

1. Don't give me that look

Quick Warning for disturbing imagery and blood

Have fun! :)

It was all because Spirit got the mail.

That was the long and short of it.  Spirit went to get the mail, pulling out a crystal ball that had exploded in their hand, and when Pigsy, Tang and MK ran out to see what the commotion was about they found a child where the Spirit that was familiar used to be.

This child goes by Yin.

This child has four eyes.

This child smiles, and there’s nothing sad in their eyes when they do.

A conference with Monkey King and some studying of the residue left by the exploding object proves that it was likely meant to stall MK by temporarily turning him into a child.  The prime suspects are Yin and Jin-they seem like the two to have such a hair brained scheme. 

Monkey King and MK head off to see just what MK was supposed to be kept from stopping, leaving Pigsy and Tang with the 8 year old.

“Where’s mom?” They ask.

Pigsy sighs.

The day goes on mostly as normal.  Tang and Mei entertain Spirit with phone games and medicinal texts.  It seems Spirit’s love of medical knowledge has not changed with age, and they sit in Tang’s lap and follow his finger as he reads out what plants can be ground up into a healing balm for wounds.

They were told that their mom was out on a trip to get medicine, and left them with Pigsy and Tang as babysitters.  They seem to believe that.

Red Son sneaks in to see them when he hears about the incident from Mei, and Spirit is entranced by his hair, reaching up with wide eyes.

“It’s pretty!” They shout, giggling when Red Son picks them up so they can card their fingers through the flamey strands.  “You’re really pretty!”

They bump their forehead against Red Son and smile, and Red Son looks...

He looks a lot younger than he is, staring at them as if lost in another time.

He doesn’t stay for long.  He lets Spirit play with his hair and shows them that he can melt metal with his fire if he tries, but eventually he stalks away with a terse, if kind, farewell.  There’s a quiet look of discomfort on his face, and Pigsy wonders if Red Son ever knew Spirit before they were scarred.

By the shock on his face when he’d seen Spirit’s four eyes, Pigsy doubts it..

They’re far more trusting than Pigsy has known them to be.  He feels like he could tell them the sky is actually purple and they’d believe it.  They talk a lot, too, chattering with questions and comments about anything and everything.  Pigsy and Tang had worked hard, to get the Spirit they know to be comfortable enough to ask any questions at all.  They’re very inquisitive, regardless of age, but the eight year old isn’t afraid.  They ask, without hesitation, and drink in every answer.

Pigsy makes them lunch, placing a bowl of noodles in front of them.  He reaches over and ruffles their hair, and

Spirit doesn’t flinch.  They don’t freeze, for a split moment, as they register that the motion is a kind one and not an attack.  They don’t awkwardly let the touch happen, pulling away because they feel like they have to.

Pigsy knows they like to be pet.  They like contact.  But contact has been marred by centuries of it being used as a weapon and so they still treat hands reaching to them for comfort as if they were blades.

This Spirit doesn’t see it that way.  This Spirit leans into the touch and giggles, bouncing in their seat.  Their tail wags, their hands flutter, their feet kick out beneath the counter.

Pigsy has seen them stim before.  It’s rare.  Typicaly, they’ll let their hands shake with the energy that wants to be released, too nervous to flap their hands like MK does.  Tang and Pigsy have been coaxing that out of them, too.

It’s terribly sad and wonderful to see that they used to do it with no fear at all.

They slurp up he bowl of noodles with a gusto he doesn’t recognize, messy and unfocused and silly in a way only a child can be.

“You’re a really good cook!” Spirit says, grinning with all their teeth, wide and unburdened.

Pigsy smiles back.

It’s when Spirit sprints off to the restroom that Tang levies his eyes onto Pigsy, raising a brow.  There’s something knowing in his gaze, and Pigsy knows what he means when he stares at Pigsy with pity and reproach.

“Don't give me that look,” he grouches, turning away.  He knows what Tang is going to say.  He knows.

“They’re not going to stay like this forever,” Tang, predictably, reminds Pigsy.  He says it gently, though it still stings, but Pigsy knows Tang doesn’t mean it to be cruel, voice as soft and sad as Pigsy feels.

And Pigsy wants to rage.  He wants to punch a wall and scream, because he sees that child and he sees Spirit centries later, blades in hand on a death mission because it was the only way out, in their eyes.  He sees wide smiles and childish innocence and sees Spirit limp, tired, and empty on his couch, with nothing left in them to give.

But that’s for later.  When Spirit is grown and gone to bed Pigsy will mourn what no one else before had thought to, the person Spirit used to be and could have kept if not for a world far crueler than it should be.  Pigsy knows, now, and knowledge is not always kind.

“I know,” he responds, quietly, just as Spirit comes skipping back to their seat, leaning over the counter to watch Pigsy cook.

“How does that work?” They point to the stove, curiosity painted on their face.

Pigsy turns around with a blank slate plastered on his face, and explains it with a smile as Spirit stares at him as if he knows everything.

Mei pops in from time to time, helping with deliveries and bringing Spirit random candies that they munch on.  She’s taken to ruffling their hair, and has turned their tiny ponytail into a mini braid.  Spirit spins around to try and catch a glimpse of it, stopping only when after a full minute they get so dizzy they fall to the floor.

Mei takes a video of it.  For later.  She also takes a picture of the braid so Spirit can see.

“That looks so cool!” Spirit bounces on their feet.  “Mom always has her hair up in a bun, but I don’t have eough fur for that.  I can’t wait to show her this though!”

They all tense, at the reminder.

“When’s she’s coming to get me?” Spirit asks.

Mei fumbles, looking off to the side as she tries to find an acceptable answer.

“Sometime tonight,” Pigsy replies.  “It’s a long journey, though, so you might have to sleep over if she can’t come this evening.”

Spirit nods, taking the answer as truth.

The lie sits like a stone in Pigsy’s stomach, and he doesn’t look at the kid in the eye for at least an hour after.

As the sun begins to set, traces of light peeking between the large buildings that block the view, Pigsy begins to close up the shop.  Tang headed upstairs a few minutes before, both to see what quick meal they can make for a child in their kitchen and to set up a bed on the couch should Spirit have to stay the night.

Spirit watches him clean up the shop kitchen, tail swishing back and forth from their seat.  They seem endlessly fascinated by the mundane.  It’s endearing, and almost familiar.  The Spirit Pigsy knows found cooking very interesting, once Pigsy introduced them to it.

The sun disappears behind the horizon, and gold turns to blue as Pigsy finishes wiping the stove down.

“Where’s mom?” Spirit’s voice is quiet, and sends a shiver up Pigsy’s spine.

“She’s out right now, getting medicine,” He replies.  “I told you earlier, remember?  It might be an overnight trip, but we have a bed for you to sleep in if that’s the-”

He turns around, and freezes.

“Where’s mom?” Spirit repeats, tiny hands gripping the counter.

They’ve grown a little bit, he notes.  They’re growing up.

Their eye.  One of them, the top left, is melting.  It drips from the top of the socket in strands, slowly pulling away from bone and collapsing in on itself like a deflating balloon, revealing the void behind it.

Whatever the eye melted into disappears, and as streaks of blood drip down Spirit’s face, Pigsy is suddenly reminded of how four becomes three.

He thinks he’s going to be sick.

He rushes out of the kitchen, as Spirit drops out of their seat and stands, dazed, in the middle of the dining room.

“Kid, look at me,” Pigsy grips them by the shoulders, turning them to him.  

Spirit looks so confused, as blood continues to pour down one side of their face.

“Where’s mom?” They ask again.  “She’s supposed to be here.  She can fix it.  She-she fixes it, and then she...,” They trail off staring into some far off place, and Pigsy grips them tight enough to bruise because he’s terrfied they’re goining to melt out of his grip.

Spirit starts to cry.

“I’m sorry,” They sob.  “Mom’s gone.  She got hurt.  She helped me and she got hurt, and she was cold-and-and,” They shake, tail curled around their leg in a familiar motion that makes his heart jump in his throat.

He wants to pull them back.  He wants them to be 8 again.

A small, dark part of him wonders how long Spirit had to wait, bleeding and broken, before their mom found them and made it right.

“It’s not your fault,” he breathes, even though he knows the words won’t stick.  “It’s not because of you, Sprite.”

But Spirit isnt listening, because he watches the empty eye socket and the full one beneath it begin to merge.  He watches them grit their teeth and shake as their skull shifts, as it changes, as two becomes one.  The eye swirls and grows to take its new shape, and then finally settles into something heartbreakingly familiar.

The blood disappears, as does the tears.  Spirit grows a little more.

With every passing minute they get a little bigger, and Pigsy wishes they didn’t.  Every passing minute he watches a new wound and then scar appear.  He watches the light in their eyes get duller and duller and he watches them get taller and hunch lower, trying to disappear.

They whisper things too, like ‘Sorry, Red’ and ‘Yes Sir’ and “I miss you, Mom’ and all sorts of awful secrets that add weights to their stance.

By the time they’re familiar, wearing the company shirt with their magenta pants, Pigsy can hardly breathe.

“Pigsy?” They finally say, voice small and uncertain.  “Are you okay?  You look really upset.”

Pigsy stares at the familiar, and wishes with all his heart that the Spirit he knew wasn’t.

In the end, they tell Spirit that they were hit with an artifact meant for MK, and that they were different for a day.  Spirit remembers nothing of it, which is a blessing and a curse, and no one has the strength to explain the truth.

Spirit doesn’t know.  That’s for the best.

Things go back to normal, with Spirit helping out in the kitchen.  Pigsy finds his movements slower than normal, and he can tell Spirit notices, but they don’t ask anything.

They’re too nervous to ask those questions, now.  They would before.

They keep rubbing at their one eye, today, as they help with the cooking.

“You alright?” Pigsy asked.

“Oh!” Spirit jumps a little, dropping their hand with a nervous grin.  “Sorry, uh, my eye is a little itchy today.  It happens sometimes.”

Their tail loops around their leg.

“It does?” Pigsy turns back to the broth, so Spirit won’t feel so scrutinized.

“Yeah,” Spirit replies.  “I, uh, I can still feel the spaces.  You know, where the two used to be.”

Pigsy freezes.  He glances to the side, and watches Spirit trace the two eyes on their face, quietly.  They trace it with pinpoint precision.

“I, uh, I read some stuff on it,” Spirit continues.  “It’s kind of like phantom limb pain?  My brain knows there’s supposed to be four, but there isn’t, so,” They shrug.

Pigsy is reminded, again, of how four becomes three.  How two became one.

He feels vaguely sick.

“Sorry,” Spirit says again.

“I’m sorry.  Mom’s gone.  She got hurt.  She helped me and she got hurt, and she was cold-and-and,”

“Don’t be,” Pigsy waves a hand, and wishes he could take the part of Spirit that thinks they need to say sorry because they are and shake it out of them.  “You’ve got nothin’ to apologize for.”

[practicalmagicintuitions]

Here is the Chris Reading for the anons asking for it:

I’ve placed a whole bunch of things down for this one. You guys wanted general, so until I could hone in on something, I had to just test the waters on all things. (I’m not following him so I don’t know what’s going on at all) if you guys notice something in this reading that you think could be symbolism for something you actually know of in his life, let me know! :)

I was asked for General, how he feels about relationships, how he feels about marriage, career? And love life.

1. I put down Chris

2. Being in a relationship” second. BIAR Wanted to be in front of Chris, Chris also wanted it there

3. Career was confused where to go, Being in a relationship was in the way. Career decided it’s gonna jam itself between them. (Already this is super telling.)

4. Being Single - single was attached to career, it wanted to stay with career it wouldn’t move elsewhere

5. Family are right behind Chris, (good that’s where they should be. Doesn’t look like any animosity atm)

6. Strangely, marriage wanted to be in front of in a relationship……..? That’s gonna be a fun one to figure out.

7. “Having kids” is behind him, past family and on the left (it’s the furthest placement away so far”

Chris is staring ahead at Career, single, BIAR and single. They’re all in a line.

Chris is staring straight at career. I can’t feel anything from him besides the fact that this big brick wall called a career is in front of him. I see nothing past that. “Single” though, rather than seeming as big as career, seems to represent itself as a little flag thats just been pressed into the side of the brick wall, single isnt giving me any feeling either.

That being said, the career brick wall is not intimidating. It’s just more like he’s looking up at it like, “huh. Big guy” he has the need to climb over it.

Yeah, listen this wall is a wall but he’s not trying duck his head to the side and see past it, he just has the need to jump over this brick wall. The wall is maybe 7 foot tall, so in comparison to himself and how big he feels in this scenario (he feels his normal 6 foot self) he absolutely could. But it’s just interesting that what I’m seeing/feeling is a brick wall that’s like 5 foot in length and yet he has no desire to just bypass it and go to the side, he wants to climb the fucking thing?

Chris stans, tell me what the HELL that is about. You know him better than I. Does he like the competition or accomplishment? Does he feel he needs to prove himself the hard way?

Anyway, he’s pretty confident he can jump this wall. And single is not even a thing to him in its current position.

He’s thinking very hard about how to jump this wall. Like he knows how, you lift yourself up and jump over it I can see that image in my head very easy, but he’s struggling to actually DO it?

Nope, ok he doesn’t want to.

He knows he can jump it, he knows it’s blocking everything else, but I go to take an action for him and he’s like “nah I’m good tho”

Seems a fitting time to put in “anxiety.”

I laughed out loud when I had to place anxiety. Take a wild guess where it felt it needed to be?

You bet chya, it’s on the wall.

And then it couldn’t make up its mind. Officially I’ve placed it on the wall together with “single” and “career” but the energy for anxiety is actually that’s it’s jumping in front of the wall, to on the wall, to behind the wall and it keeps doing that. Just back and forth.

Makes total sense as to why he can’t cross this wall.

Now that anxiety is there he doesn’t want to look in its direction at all.

He’s gotten a bit warm and a bit of a headache too now, and a bit dizzy. The headache is real present.

The good news is in these situations where someone can’t move due to anxiety or otherwise, it’s always a good time to place supports, so the person can feel supported to do the thing they want and move forward. Luckily, his family are already placed behind him, they seem to really love him, so it’s just about me utilising that now.

This part I’m going to do more privately (as in I won’t type it) cause this would be a personal thing (maybe even generational thing) that he needs to move through with his family in order for them to feel that support. His anxiety didn’t come from nowhere. That being said I’m also not going to do a whole ass constellation with him cause 1. He’s not here and 2. It would take hours.

All I’ll say is his mum is a MASSIVE support for him, and also……. 😬 kinda swamping him a bit. He doesn’t mind it, it’s actually very comforted, but she truly is just physically in this reading SWAMPING him. An outsider could see that she’s maybe a bit too involved with his life.. which isn’t great for a fully grown man. But, he finds it comforting, what are ya gonna do. Clearly he doesn’t want it to end… :/

(For reading purposes So it’s not just jumping, I took about 5 minutes with him and his family to help move past anxiety, his family love the crap out of the guy it’s real cute.)

I thought this was important to note:

What Career feels in relation to CE:

Very big, bulky, serious. Reminds me a bit of Wilson Fisk from into the spider verse. Just very big, bulky, serious a bit of a bully. Not gonna move. You’re gonna do what I tell you. Restrictive. That kind of energy. It doesn’t HATE him, but it has rules. And Chris is gonna follow them. (That’s a threat) it also feels like within career is actually a powerful male that kinda owns his ass? Not sure who that could be, once again CE stans, gimme the tea.

For the next part I might… get in trouble. I know that when it comes to the talk of relationships no one likes to hear it. Don’t kill the messenger here you guys:

he has his back TURNED from “single”

I could encourage him to look everywhich other way for any other representative, but single? Back turned.

Doesn’t wanna look at it.

Single on the other hand is kinda looking at him like a little kid like :) hi Chris look pls. Chris! Pls :) Chris look at me Chris pls :) Chrissy! Take a look!

For whatever reason “single” in this reading is feeling very adolescent. Maybe he feels that being single isn’t a grown up thing to do anymore? (I forgot to mention, the things in the field take on the energy of the person it’s focused on, not necessarily how it is perceived by EVERYONE in the world, only how it’s perceived or how it acts in relation to the client. Single to ME might be a knight in shining armor that protects me, Single to Chris seems adolescent.

So, Chris is looking at both “marriage” and “being in a relationship” he’s not feeling particularly drawn towards either, but he is giving a lot more attention to “being in a relationship” than marriage.

Which is weird, cause if you don’t want single, yet you don’t want relationship, what do you want?

I have now brought in “situationship” “flirting w/ someone” and “fwb”

situationship is closest, but doesn’t have his full attention, as it’s to the left side of him at an Angle. FWB is just behind situationship but more aligned to be in front of his eyesight, and flirting with someone is on the right from him, at an angle and is the furthest of the three.

Ok, FWB feels the most comfortable for him, he actually took a step towards it. He’s not feeling super fond of any of the three in any way, but FWB is nice it’s comforting, he’s.. semi happy? It’s not even really happy… it’s just like “doing ok!This is ok! This is comfortable.”

He’s side eyeing the shit out of “situationship” though and is anxious at how close it is. He doesn’t actually want the situationship there, but it’s close now and it’s not moving, and he’s having a bit of anxiety about it. He can’t stop looking at it though. FWB is immediate comfort, situationship is SO ANXIETY INDUCING but it’s also more interesting to look at?

(Chris get therapy 🙄)

Flirting with someone is out of the picture, been there, done that doesn’t care about it. (Could be that he’s already gone through the flirting stage with someone that’s why it’s of no interest to him)

Now that he’s finding situationship more interesting, he’s looking past FWB and to “being in a relationship” which he also finds nicer to look at. The thought coming up is “that would be nice” but in a wistful way.

Marriage is still right out, we’re not looking at marriage.

I’m gonna move relationship closer to situationship to see if he feels better or worse.

Lmao ok, I put them both together and imagined situation ship and relationship being close, like they’re holding hands. In his mind, situationship is a cute little brunette that’s like 5’4 and “being in a relationship” is built like an Amazonian 6’5 goddess and he’s both in awe, yet intimidated a bit, but also not hating it, but the only thought that came up was “ahhhhh…. Fuck.”

Two thoughts came up but they both got crossed out before he could finish it.

“I don’t want-“

“I’m not ready……..-“

And now he just keeps hesitantly saying relationship over and over again but he’s saying it like he’s brand new to the word, like he’s trying to find the word for the word - yet he’s already speaking it??

And now it’s just a flatlining “😐 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……”

Sat with this for a while and didn’t have much movement so time to move to:

Question time:

Q: Chris.. are you in a situationship?

I don’t know what I’m in

Q: Ok. Are you… sleeping with someone

Yeah

Q: Are you FWB?

He’s hesitant? Like he’s not sure. That word doesn’t seem to fit what he’s up to atm. He seems very confused about what he’s in.

Q: Are you going on dates with someone?

I’m going on dates

Q: With many people or just one?

Just…. One… (not sure why he was hesitant about telling me, but I feel like I’m starting to cross on something I’m not meant to talk about, so I’m ending it here. If he wants to keep it to himself, he is absolutely in his right to do so)

I will say when He said just one, a person did show up: brown hair, she’s shorter than him (but that’s obvious) and she’s slender and kinda perky. When I see her she looks like she’s fun! I saw her dancing around a bit. I liked her energy.

Sound like anyone you guys know?

Note: this is where I’ve ended it. Wasn’t gonna push on it he was getting more and more hesitant it’s not my place to push anything that he doesn’t want me to access. Now that we’ve created the focus though it will be easier to go from there :)

Hopefully that covered it for the anons that asked :) I’m over @energyanon to anyone that needs anything clarified.

Thank you for doing this @energyanon ! Your gift is amazing and thank you for your dedication!