#this job is maybe half-related to what I really want but I gotta do something

[pk-heart]

job interview in an hour 🫡

[profoundbondfanfic]

Hi there!

I have been looking in vain for fics with Non-verbal Dean or Castiel. I've read a couple but haven't been able to find anymore and the tagging system only seems to give me junk results not actually related to that.

Thank in advance for your help!

Hey! Here are a few fics we could think of:

All Cats Are Gray After Dark by squirrelofcelestialintent (Explicit, 19k words)

1992, NYC. Dean is a Gulf War veteran working in the grimiest ER in the city, and he’s holding his life together. Kind of? Maybe. But he’s got secrets. No one at work knows that he’s not physically mute due to a war injury, but rather selectively mute from way back in the day, because that is almost impossible to explain. Nobody but Sam knows he’s a rare, male Omega, and the discovery of that secret was why he got kicked out of the army. And nobody, absolutely nobody, knows that he occasionally sneaks out to have anonymous sex with men. Until he meets Castiel freaking Novack - anonymous hook up turned new boss - who in less than a month manages to find out all three.

Casicorn by everandanon (Explicit, 56k words)

When Detective Dean Winchester suddenly finds himself with a new roommate, a mysterious man who doesn’t speak but seems to somehow be connected to the department’s recent vigilante problem, he has no idea what he’s in for. The guy doesn’t know how to work a TV, brush his teeth, or even take a shower, and he stares at Dean all the goddamn time. Not to mention he insists on sleeping in Dean’s bed. While Dean is in it! Weird, right? Except the longer Cas sticks around, the less Dean starts to mind; the more he kind of dreads Cas leaving for good, actually, even though nobody really knows who Cas is or where he came from. And then, one night, Dean happens to witness their vigilante firsthand and realizes he knows Cas even less than he thought . . . (Loosely inspired by The Little Mermaid)

Finding You In Every Sign by casblackfeathers (Explicit, 99k words)

Castiel was content with the constant flow of his life. He had his brother Gabriel, had his coffee shop and the weekly book club meetings as well as a small but solid group of friends. If there was one thing his hateful family had taught him, it was how fast things could go wrong if he let too many variables shape his life. So when he met Dean, a gradual regular at his shop, Castiel knew he was trouble, because Dean was like a comet, beautiful but beyond reach. Ever since his father died, there wasn’t a single constant in Dean’s life. Moving on, never stopping, never getting attached to one thing for too long had made him a drifter for the past seven years. Being the only hearing person in his family hadn’t been easy with a father like John Winchester, so as soon as Dean saw an escape, he took it. Settling down to open his flower shop was anything but easy, especially when he met the elusive deaf owner of the coffee shop next door. The more he discovered about Cas, the louder the voice in the back of his head whispered that maybe Castiel was the person finally worth staying for. And maybe, just maybe, Dean was willing to listen now.

Hear You Me by through_shadows_falling (Explicit, 84k words)

Castiel is a college graduate stuck in two dead-end, part-time jobs. Oh, and he’s Deaf…which to his oldest brother Michael makes him something to constantly fret over. It’s not Castiel’s fault that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life, right? Not like it’s Michael’s business anyways. Enter Dean Winchester. A chance encounter with the man has the power to change Castiel’s life - and in the end, maybe, just maybe, it will help him finally understand and accept who he is and what he’s meant to do.

i saw the light by LoversAntiquities (Mature, 14k words)

“Sam, you gotta hear about this ghost story I found the other day,” Susanne says over the speakerphone, just as loud as she has been for the last half hour. For the most part, Castiel ignores her—or tries—and concentrates on the beads dangling from between his fingers, centerpiece pressed to his forehead. Praying doesn’t work, but some mornings, when the coffee doesn’t get him going and the walls feel more like a prison than a home, he sits at the library table and whispers empty words into the crucifix, like Jesus can ease the festering ache in his chest. He can’t—no one else can either.

late july by thanks_tacos (Explicit, 26k words)

'I would like to take in your most abused one,' Castiel says, looking at the rows of doors in the yellow corridor. 'Give him a good home.' After his accident, Castiel needs someone to help him around the small brick house he lives in and the bookstore he owns. So, he adopts Dean; an omega who barely survived being dumped in a ditch and left for dead. Dean doesn't talk, but that's fine; they learn to live together in the quaint, rainy city surrounded by a green forest. Castiel just wants to give Dean a peaceful life he deserves, and maybe also - become his mate?

Looking for a Sign by emwebb17 (Mature, 70k words)

Dean can't figure out why the hot guy on the train is ignoring him…that is until he realizes that the man is profoundly deaf. After an unpleasant misunderstanding, the two become friends. It isn't long before Dean wants more, but Castiel sticks steadfastly to his rule about not dating hearing people. When Dean starts to date other people to try to get over him, Castiel starts to wonder if maybe Dean is the exception to the rule.

No Words by Ltleflrt (Explicit, 112k words)

On the run from his very powerful family, Castiel does his best to get lost. Because if he doesn’t know where he is, his brothers won’t be able to find him very easily either. He ends up in Silverton, a small mountain town nestled deep within the Rocky Mountains where he meets Dean Winchester, a very beautiful and very grumpy omega.

sunflower by unicornpoe (Teen and up, 4k)

Castiel comes home on a Sunday.

Still Waters Run Deep by thisisapaige (Explicit, 41k words)

In the darkest depths of the ocean, sealed into the ma'lak box with Chuck trapped behind the Mark, Castiel loses the battle against God's rage. When Sam and Dean find Castiel on a dark patch of highway— the Mark missing and his grace weak— he cannot speak. It rains. It rains and it rains and it rains. It is a Great Flood. In order to stop God, save the world, and resolve the issues simmering between them for years, Castiel and Dean need to communicate. Perhaps they should build an ark instead.

The Hanged Man by orphan_account (Mature, 87k words)

After Park Ranger Cas Novak saves a mysterious stranger named Dean from an attempted murder in the woods, he finds himself drawn into the man's secretive life. Someone tried to kill Dean, but he's not telling who. In fact, he's barely speaking at all. If he's going to have any hope of helping Dean, Cas will have to convince the man to trust him — all while trying not to fall in love with him along the way.

We also have a mute tag with more fics like these. Also if you search for 'selectively mute dean' or 'mute dean' (or cas if you prefer cas) on ao3 you might get lucky as well.

[thepringlesofblood]

so. i watched the trailers for the A:TLA live action netflix series. i went in expecting nothing, and I gotta admit some parts look intriguing. the casting, the set, the bending, the costuming, all look pretty cool. not a big fan of the cgi or how it always seems to be the dead of night in the fire nation, but i was considering watching the first episode at least, out of curiosity and mild respect.

then I saw Zuko's scar.

I thought well, it is really dark, I should wait to get a better look at it before totally freaking out.

are. are you kIDDING ME?

[important: I know nothing about this actor, this aint a dunk on him, I doubt he had a lot of input into his makeup.]

for reference, here is zuko in the OG show.

zuko’s scar isn’t a fucking bad eyeshadow job. His ear is half-melted. It takes up like 1/4-1/3 of his face. It’s not just his eye - it’s his cheekbones, it’s his forehead, it’s all down the side of his head, boy should not have a second eyebrow! I swear to god if they spend their money animating each individual hair on appa but don’t bother to get something as iconic and central to the series as zuko’s scar right? it'd be like messing up Spock's ears, except real-life people don't have Spock ears and struggle with how they are perceived by society because of it.*

*that I know of. maybe there's a secret Spock ears genetic condition I don't know about in which case I apologize

also... there was this bit. we get a quick flash of this shot

ok, we know this shot. we've seen this shot. it's the agni kai where zuko gets his scar. note the relative positions of the two people, and what the floor looks like.

then a little later, we get this shot

it's clearly the same scene. it's ozai burning zuko. but. why is there fire on both sides of zuko? it looks like he's deflecting it. like he's fighting back.

it. it is so so so important for zuko's arc and character growth that he refuses to fight his father in his first agni kai. he shows mercy when ozai does not. he is a child - he does not think to defend himself against his own father. throughout his whole arc, the whole show, but most especially season 1, it is so important to remember that the last time he showed mercy and humility, he literally got burned. that's why he's so aggressive and angry and scared and defensive.

so. why is he defending himself? is this why his scar is less pronounced? because they decided to mess with established history?

maybe we can give them the benefit of the doubt and say this is a different agni kai, or zuko re-imagining how it could've gone, or something, but like. why choose to show this then?

further rant below the cut bc its very long I haven't felt righteous fury this strong in a while

I just. I personally don’t have a facial scar or birthmark or anything, but when Hollywood sugarcoats or makes them look less “gross” or “obvious” it’s a real fuck you to people out there who do have obvious scars, birthmarks, differences, that don’t fall into the neat lines of what is considered “presentable” by the film industry. It’s important that it’s not downplayed bc then the people who see themselves in the original get betrayed by the adaptation that tells them they’re not pretty enough or that they’re “too much” to be seen on tv in live action.

Excuses I have seen thus far (mostly on reddit admittedly)

“They didn’t want to make it look too gruesome so that kids would want to watch it too" Think about that sentiment for 10 seconds, and tell me what it says to people out there who have scars like this. Are they too “scary” to be seen by children? Is their existence automatically PG-13? Something horrible and uncontrollable happened to zuko, and because of that, his life and body are irrevocably changed. People with scars like his who related to and felt seen by his representation and the way he struggles with acceptance, both by himself and by others, will receive the message that can only happen for people with less “gruesome” scars than that. Seriously.

“Of course it’s going to look different in real life vs in animation” Yes, it will. I’m not talking about the appearance of the burn necessarily, but the extent of it. The new series has it limited mostly to his eye. His ear and eyebrow are unaffected, as are his cheekbones and forehead. That is not the case in the animated show. I’m not expecting a big monochrome pink and purple blotch like there is in the OG show - animated visual shorthand is different from live action. But it should look like burned skin. And it should be as extensive as it was - it goes over his ear and eyebrow, and partway down his cheek. the whole point of it is that it’s big and unavoidable and horrifying, and that zuko was a 13 year old kid who didn’t deserve it, but now is stuck with it. That’s war. That’s what ozai is capable of.

“The makeup would be too hard” It really wouldn’t, especially not for something as important to the series as this. Zuko’s scar is central to ATLA as a whole - a symbol of the cruelty of his father and the fire nation, and more importantly his survival and eventual resistance to it. Even if it did take extra time to apply, which I don’t think it would, I’d say it’d be worth it. I’ve seen cosplays and Halloween costumes [and this excellent fan film] without access to a professional makeup and prosthetics team that looked closer to show accurate than what they’ve currently got going.

Let me also point you to examples of both comparable and much more dramatic makeup/prosthetics used regularly (as in every episode, every week, for many years) on 2 shows with smaller budgets, older technology (as in, from the 1990s), and many more seasons: Star Trek: the next generation & ds9

trust me. they can do it. this is a choice.

“What it if made it hard for him to act?” See above for examples of other actors in much more dramatic prosthetics crushing it.

"Well at least it's better than the other live action adaptation"

that CANNOT be the bar we measure things by. standing still and doing nothing is also better than getting brained with a shovel: that doesn't mean it's good.

"He has darker skin than the animated Zuko. the burn probably blends in more."

that's not how burn scars work. it's not just a darkening of the skin - the skin itself is fundamentally changed in texture and color. and again, even if the burn has a different general appearance, it should at least be as big and extensive as it is in the OG show, and it's clearly not.

“They probably didn’t want to shave his eyebrow” No, really I saw this as a point on a Reddit post. Drag queens and cosplayers have been making their eyebrows disappear and reappear for decades without access to a professional makeup and prosthetics team. He’ll be fine I swear.

[crazylittlejester]

I'm still on my Four Swords brainrot detour so you get to hear all about that today. Consider this my vote for you to read the book. I have the legendary copy, it was my big summer purchase last year (it's not that expensive, I'm just a broke college student) and I love it to pieces. I'm usually more into LU due to the fact that the FS fandom is pretty small and I'm not very active in it and my favorite artist is on hiatus. However. When the brainrot circles back around I am stuck in it for a while.

Anyway, it's the only LoZ game I've written anything for (except HW but that was a short bit about gender crises so it hardly counts).

I've taken inspiration from @zarvasace's series Shatterproof, and started working on a disability AU for FS out of pure indulgence.

Have I made basically any progress since I started it? No.

Has it been completely rotting my brain this past week? Yes.

The way I have it planned out is that I'm going to write a chapter for each of the Links, including Shadow, and one for Zelda. Each chapter is going to be a short story about their experiences with being disabled and how they feel about that. I'm supposed to be working on Green's chapter right now and I think it's maybe half done, but I'm contemplating taking it apart and picking at the pieces some more before I actually write the second half out.

The thing about Green is that he's kind of your generic Link. He's as close as you get to the original as far as personality and temperament go, so that's been my main issue thus far. He's just... really, really vanilla. Even his part of the story is kind of vanilla! He gets his death faked twice and he's not even the person doing the faking! He's just there as a driving force and it bugs me sometimes because he's like the FS version of the nameless "prince charming" and I could go off on a whole extra tangent but I should save that for when you've actually read the book.

The point is, he's not a character I easily get vibes from, so I've had to do a bunch of thinking and I came to the conclusion that he's going to be the one to be hit over the head with a work-related injury. Literally. He ends up with a bad head injury that impacts his ability to do a lot of things that knights need to be good at.

I haven't decided if he ends up keeping his job after he recovers or not, but he does have a lot of angst over that because he's a bit of a workaholic and spent most of his time working so that Red, Blue, Vio, and Shadow could focus on taking care of the house and each other. He considers himself to be the main breadwinner and then suddenly can't work because of his injury and has to wait and see if he'll be able to go back to work. There's going to be a whole thing about overcoming internalized ableism, and how even if you aren't ableist towards other people you can still be ableist towards yourself and it's a lot of work to build up the self-esteem necessary to stop that thought process.

I just love his chapter so much even though I'm probably going to use those themes throughout the entire work. There's just something about his part that really scratches the itch in my brain.

I have rough ideas planned out for Vio, Blue, and Red, but I'm not really sure what to do about Shadow and Zelda. Prior to finding out about your Warriors having blood sugar problems I was thinking about giving her diabetes or something similar, but I'm not really sure how much I can fudge in a fantasy setting without accidentally killing her. So I'm still at the drawing board for her.

Thank you for being my FS brainrot victim. :)

I gotta get the four swords legendary edition, I thought I had it but i dont 💔💔💔 I’m also a broke college student so i feel ya

GREEN ISNT EVEN THE ONE WHO FAKES HIS OWN DEATH TWICE ALSKSKDK?

ooooooh work related injury and overcoming internalized ableism, I’m so excited to read that!! (if you share it)

You could totally still give her a blood sugar issue if you wanted, it’d be cool to read about if you do decide to do that, but also anything else you come up with would be cool, all of this sounds awesome

THANK YOU FOR THE DAILY BRAINROT, TODAY WAS EXHAUSTING AND I DONT FEEL GREAT AND THIS LITERALLY CAME AT THE PERFECT TIME >:)

[hikari-ni-naritai]

3 6 10 11 12 18 21 23 26 27 29 30 31 36 45 50 52 54 55 57 58 59 60 62 69 (nice) 74 76 86 87 90 95 97

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

man . theyre both kinda. painfully sweet. bubblegum i guess? i also like cotton candy tho its just hard to pick

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

i dotn know what like. most of these words mean. how are half of these related even. tomboy.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

man i fucked hard at dodgeball

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

these days shredded wheat

12. name of your favorite playlist?

the fuck is a playlist

18. ideal weather?

yknow, cloudy, warm, smells like its about to rain

21. obsession from childhood?

warriors cats babeyyyy. and bionicles

23. strange habits?

man i KNOW ive got some but i cant think what they are. i do this wrist flick manoeuver to crack it.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

if im actually out in the warm weather? take a nice walk maybe.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

yknow. i havent done it in ages but i really like doing jigsaw puzzles. maybe put some jazz on.

29. best way to bond with you?

i dunno honestly! i dont have an answer to this one. it takes a lot of time and effort i think.

30. places that you find sacred?

the woods. the woods the woods the woods you have no idea. the woods. its the woods.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

i would die if i tried to do either of those things

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

like...... charlie the unicorn i think.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy obv

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

god there was something that destroyed me but idr what it was. the hardest in recent memory was me trying to tell a REALLY really stupid joke that wont make sense to any of you. i did not manage to say it bc i was laughing too hard.

52. favorite font?

i absolutely do not have an opinion on this

54. what did you learn from your first job?

you know at mcdonalds in order to work the grill you have to be willing to put your arms under a hot piece of metal that drips boiling grease on you? thats what i learned.

55. favorite fairy tale?

what IS my favorite fairy tale....... we'll go with red riding hood bc her modern interpretations are always the cutest

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

damn what. uhh ok, having to rebuild my entire social life after the shit that happened a couple years ago, the several year process of going from hyperconservative christian to a . whatever the hell i am now. some kind of far left girl. and uhhhh. figuring out i was trans i guess? idk

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

four??? im good at ff14 raiding, im good at writing, im good at.... uhh... im pretty funny i think, annnddddd uhhh. i dont know that its a talent, but i like to think im good at making people feel safe talking to me.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

heh... guess i shotcha... uhh 'god im fucking tired'

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

ISEKAI OBVIOUSLY specifically something like slime 300 but ill take almost any of them.

62. seven characters you relate to?

SEVEN............ god.... uhh hanako ikezawa, hikari finalfantasy (im cheating), (god i got to ONE and already had to start cheating...) yumiella dolkness, man im tappin out. look at my list of ocs i put way more of myself into them than there could ever be in any other character

69 nice. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

i feel like i know how i know most of my fun facts bc if i didnt i would not really know if i could believe them or not.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like 8 or 9 probably. i dont really go below a 5 so. its gotta be like migraine or vertebral artery dissection bad before im like 'i should really get some meds'. unless im doing it preemptively which ive done for like when ive got raid later.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

man fuckin SCALLOPED POTATOES BABEY

86. cookies or cupcakes?

the amount of qualifiers this question needs.... cupcakes tho probably.

87. your greatest fear?

dying.

90. luckiest mistake?

i mean most of my mistakes havent been lucky, the best i can think of is when i accidentally followed my girl @handinvampirichand and now we're mutuals with wildly different taste in things but we're cool.

95. favorite app on your phone?

i like tumblr

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

uhh mine, my moms, my moms house, my brother's, my dads. jg wentworth 877 CASH NOW. so thats 6

[valiantvillain]

You let me into your house and so I am asking - you didn’t expect Miraz to romance Astarion, so what was the point that you know it was happen (and was it a different point for them?)

Okay, this might get long bc now I have an excuse to ramble about these two.

It's an interesting case of yes and no with Miraz and Astarion. When I was making her in the character creator I had the idea for her to try the Astarion romance for no other reason than I thought it would be funny. A fairly lawful good paladin trying to teach morals and values to a chaotic hot mess of a vampire with all the energy of a cat owner lecturing their misbehaving pet as they carry from their most recent shenanigans by the scruff of their neck. But then I actually started playing with Miraz, and as a character, she just started to really click for me with an ever-growing backstory and I found myself having a lot of interesting roleplay behind her decisions, including those with Astarion. They were still hilarious but roleplaying Miraz being well aware he was trying to manipulate her (inspired by a passive insight check very early in the game with him) it added this really interesting element to their dynamic. Someone using flattery and flirtation to assure their own safety with someone more accustomed to being dismissed as ugly (bc let me tell you, some NPCs are not shy about calling a half-orc Tav a brute, ugly, "maybe you can use those cutters on the rats in the cellar") and was just plain skeptical of him due to her own history of being manipulated by her noble relations for years.

But even though Miraz distrusted him, like it or not they needed him and to leave one of their tadpole squad behind was not an option to her. Because at her core, she is a paladin, someone whose job it is to protect people...even from themselves on occasion. And she felt somewhat compelled to see what exactly was the objective of this long game he was playing with her. And in act 1 she fully expected him to chicken out when it came time to consummate all that flirting bc well...she's a half-orc. She's done this before, sometimes played along like in this case to see the inevitable moment where her potential partner realizes they didn't actually want to commit to this. But then he didn't follow the script and pride demanded she not be the coward. Thus in playing chicken, she ended up eating crow and much to her chagrin, enjoyed it. Even the bite.

I think the point where I knew they had transitioned from just kinda funny joke pairing to something more meaningful for me personally was in act 2. Particularly when Astarion starts trying to figure out his scars and is willing to deal with Raphael to do it. Miraz wanted to smite this smarmy cambion from the moment they met him. But he was their only lead in translating the contract, so even though she had so many bad feelings about the whole thing she let Astarion do it. After all, you gotta be desperate to seek aid from a devil. To me, that signified a small but significant shift in their relationship, with Astarion trusting her with the information about the contract and her trusting him enough to negotiate for himself with Raphael despite all her reservations. And I just thought to myself "oh, she IS warming up to him at this point, or at the very least trusting him a bit more, this is a thing now".

The point for them was still act 2, just a bit later in it, after encountering Adaj Oblodra in Moonrise Towers. Miraz in her mind, was doing the natural thing, the expected thing, "he said no, the answer is no, he's not drinking your blood". Then came the confession afterward where Astarion admitted he had been trying to manipulate her and his history with using sex as just a tool in the kit, and in that moment it really struck Miraz how much all of his behavior stemmed from being in survival mode. With all the implications clicking in her head, she understood the motivation behind it and figured that this would be the natural conclusion to their little situationship and that they would probably just be allies, maybe even friends after this. She could be content with that, it's not like she really expected this to go anywhere anyway, although to her surprise she found the notion stung a bit. However, to her even greater surprise, he expressed a genuine desire in continuing to explore a relationship with her, and suddenly a hug and a holding of her hand felt more intimate than anything Miraz had ever done with anyone.

So yeah, sorry for the very long answer but I was articulating so many thoughts I had throughout that run, and like Gale, I have a tendency to be quite verbose, for better or for worse.

[disneyanddisneyships]

@gyubby99 I couldn't help it

Warnings: mentions of r*pe, abuse (physical and mental), strict mother,, panic attacks

Summary: alastir what's t. Know more about his wonderful girlfriend.

Alastor gasped as he was brought back to the present, his Lilly baking something in the kitchen.

He couldn't believe what he saw... it... it was horrifying.... the image of his beloved getting violated like that..... no wonder she had killed herself.....

Through Alastor's own panic, he decided he wanted to see more of her past. She was still a puzzle to him, and he would put the pieces together.

Chanting the spell again alastor was hurdled through time into the same apartment he had seen last time. Only this time it looked.. cleaner.. newer.. more like a home somehow.

And then he heard screaming.

He followed the sound into the bedroom like last time, scared of what was happening, only to be confronted with a sight that actually made him proud.

"You need to pay your half of the bills Jason! This is bullshit! You have a job!" Lilly shouted as she held a paper in her hands.

"Oh my god.... fucking christ, Lillian, so do you! Don't be such a bitch! You have money saved up too!" Jason argued.

"FOR COLLEGE! I wanna go to college! You know that Jason!" Lilly screamed.

"College?! Seriously?! You're so SELFISH!" Jason shouted.

Alastor growled before looking at the spell, performing it again.

And just like that he was hurdled deeper through time.

He was stopped inside of a little house. Maybe a two bedroom.

He walked throughout only to stop when the front door opened and a young Lilly walked inside.

"Dad? I'm home!" She called out as she took the key out of the lock and plopped it into the glass key holder by the door.

"Hey sweet pea!" A grown man's voice came from the kitchen. "How was school?" He asked as he walked up to his daughter.

Alastor chuckled to himself. They looked alike. They were definitely related.

"There was a caterpillar on the tree in the courtyard that Mal and I found, but Jessica Jacobs came in and killed it," Lilly stated as she set up her schoolwork on the dining table.

"Wasn't she that mean little girl who would always push you off the swings?" Her dad asked as he sat next her his daughter.

"Yep.... where's Mom?" She asked as she got to her homework.

"Picking up your brother.... she saw your grades today," he muttered.

Lilly paused.

"Oh," She stated.

"You gotta get that C up...." He replied.

".... the assignment that's causing it is a one and done deal.. I physically can't, dad..... I can't redo the assignment......" Lilly muttered.

Alastor raised an eyebrow before coming to sit next to Lilly.

"Why on earth would a C matter for anything?" Alastor asked himself.

His head turned sharply to the front door when he heard it slam open.

"Hey Gabe," Lilly muttered as her brother walked in and sat in another chair, not making eye contact before leaning in to whisper to his sister.

"Shes pissed..... the whole drive was just her talking about it...." He whispered.

Lilly sighed and gave her brother some headphones so he could drown it out.

"Sorry for borrowing them," she whispered.

Alastor smiled. She did really have a wonderful relationship with her brother.... but his smile faded a bit when Lilly's mother came into view.

"A 'C'?! ARE YOU SERIOUS LILLIAN?!" She shouted.

Lilly shrunk in on herself, her hair covering her face.

"Oh don't you shut me out, you little shit-" Deborah scolded as she walked over and yanked Lilly up by her shoulders.

Charles, Lilly's dad, Stood up, as did alastor, alarm growing on his face.

"Deborah, stop this," Charles warned.

Completely ignoring her husband, Deborah shook her daughter by the shoulders.

"STUPID GIRL. I TAUGHT YOU BETTER. YOU ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT TO THIS FAMILY!" She shouted.

Alastor moved to stop what was happening with no use.

"Mami please.... You're hurting me... Lo siento... por favor. estas hiriendome," Lilly whispered as tears pricked at her eyes.

Deborah scoffed and shoved her back into the chair.

"Your Spanish is weak, my little butterfly. Work on that too.... you should be more like your brother," Deborah stated before briskly walking away into her room.

".... I'll have a talk with your mother, bug.... everything is gonna be fine. Just do your best, okay?" Charles spoke gently, kissing Lilly on the head before walking away.

Alastor sat back down, silence covering the air as Lilly continued to zone out.

He knew this well... it was a silent panic attack... she still had those.. often when she thought about her mother... now he knew why....

That's when he heard Gabriel speak up.

"... you okay?" He asked.

Lilly didn't move.

Gabriel sighed and moved so his chair was right next to her, bringing her into a hug gently.

"Mom just..... doesn't know how to parent. Duh." He tried making a joke to no avail. "... you wanna call Mal?" He asked.

"No.... She'd just get angry at mom... and I really don't want anymore yelling today....." Lilly muttered.

Alastor took a breath in... so that's why she doesn't like yelling. And that's why she shuts down when being yelled at....

"Does Mal even know that mom does that?" Gabe asked as he separated from the hug.

".. fuck no.... I tell her mom yells but... that's it," Lilly replied.

Gabriel sighed.

Alastor raised an eyebrow.

Before he could see anything else, the spell ended and he was trusted back to his original time.

"Oh, hey Al! I made Brazo Gitano if you want some. It's my Mom's special recipe," Aponi stated as she set them on the counter.

".. your mother?" Alastor asked.

"Yeah.. I um... I invited her over for dinner..." Aponi stated with a nervous smile.

Uh oh

[tips-from-a-tech-worker]

It's been some time, eh?

Howdy folks! It's been some time since I last properly posted on here, huh?

Just as a warning, I am going to be getting into some deeply personal stuff, as well as deeply distressing stuff relating to myself and wider society, so if you're not in the right place for that, I suggest you skip past this.

Firstly, I just want to say thanks so much for all of you still engaging with this rarely updated page. I post maybe once a year, and a lot of the time it isn't even anything to do with what I originally created this page for: to show off code that I thought was particularly pretty, or code that made something particularly pretty.

I still enjoy all that stuff, no doubt about it. But I've honestly found it quite tricky to be enthusiastic about writing code at the moment.

For context, I work at a university developing apps and websites for medical research. That sounds quite valuable and fulfilling right? I mean I thought so too for such a long time. But lately, I've been having my doubts.

A lot of what we do make creates so much added overhead for doctors, where they already barely have time to see patients as it is. It also adds so much overhead to the lives of patients who engage with these apps. Most of our apps are for mental health help, and our research studies show that participants always engage and love it.. But they're research participants.. They're already self-selecting to be engaged and interested. As it turns out, a lot of mentally unwell people do not have the capacity for any of the stuff we make - myself included!

On top of not feeling like my work is contributing - on the contrary, it feels like it is making things worse - universities here are, in practice, dictated by private interests and the "market", whatever the hell that is. It is nominally funded by the government, but they largely do not do that. Because of this, they run as businesses.

Oh, your department isn't profitable anymore despite doing incredibly important work? Well, the market says you gotta go. You and 10,000 people who work there.

Some academic staff have half an hour of free time in the middle of the day? Well, that obviously means that we can fire a tonne of admin and put all that labour onto the backs of the researchers.

Oh, we fired all the cleaners at the beginning of the pandemic, but now things have opened again we have no cleaners? Well the students can handle that one! That's free labour!

It's all a bit maddening.

On top of all that as well, our university has decided that rather than solve any of these issues, it's going to ignore them, on top of many other issues of racism, transphobia, homophobia, antisemitism, islamophobia, you name it! All this, in the face of raking in millions in profits every year.

I know a lot of that is nothing to do with software development, but as software development is part of my job, and my job is within the university, you might imagine that this leaves a slightly awful taste in my mouth.

What stings even more is that I thought working in the university was the preferable choice. I worked in a couple of privately ran tech companies a while ago, and it was hell on earth. And now, finding out that the supposed "escape route" is also as bad.. Code is the last thing on my mind. It's the last thing I want on my mind.

Just a bit about me. I am a non-binary person. I've known this all my life, despite not really having the language to describe it. Since I was very young, every encounter I had with "gender" REALLY distressed me for some reason. I had put it down to patriarchy, sexism, all that horrible stuff, and for a large part that was true. Like all that stuff is SUPER distressing. But it didn't explain the whole picture.

Over the pandemic I had time to properly sit down and reflect on myself and my identity - and SO much more but I'm trying to keep things focussed here! I finally put a pin in it, and that helped so much. A lot of the gender distress, whilst still there as background noise, went away. Clouds were lifted. ...Until now clouds found their way in..

Not sure if anyone is aware, but the UK (yes sorry I'm British) is a deeply transphobic society - well, at least the parts of it you are allowed to see through the lens of the privately owned media. Discovering, or at least admitting to myself, that I was non-binary was a huge step forward into the gaze of this society. A society whose public conversation is largely captured by transphobic actors. Lord Alan Sugar - ruling class in every aspect, JK Rowling - a castle owning bigot who wrote a few books that people seem fixated on, almost the entirety of the Conservative and Labour party, just about every newspaper column that exists (including the supposedly progressive ones).

On top of that, none of these people who are in control of society, or at least have a lot of influence over it, seem to want to do anything about the existential problems we're facing. Climate change, multiple health crises, poverty, etc. You name it, god forbid they action anything to resolve this.

But what has this got to do with coding? Well not much honestly.. But whilst all this is rattling in my head, and I am trapped making code for people that do not care about me - or at worst, actively want to see me removed from society - and I'm making code that doesn't do anything useful, I know I'm not doing anything that could help all this. I'm too shattered after a day of doing a job I hate to do anything positive.

I've taken the last month or so off work on sick leave, and honestly I am tempted to take more off. The ONE good thing about working at the university is it's sick leave policy. As an employee of 3 or more years, I am entitled to 6 months sick leave at full pay. I feel like I should probably make use of that, eh?

But during my time off I have been focusing on myself. Playing video games, streaming a bit, and hey, even faffing around with bits of code! But also..

I don't know if it's obvious from my videos - I mean, you'll have probably figured this out from this very post - but I am very politically engaged to say the least. And over the years of seeing issue after issue not being addressed by people supposedly there to help us, I've come to the conclusion that we should probably start helping ourselves. We live in a society where everything is dictated by a few very rich individuals, and the majority of us have to just accept whatever decree is issued upon us. I don't particularly think that this is a fair, just, or even effective structure of society. And over the past few years I've come to the realisation that it doesn't have to be.

Society is built and maintained by people who do the work. Farmers, mechanics, shop assistants, doctors, firefighters, teachers, and yes even coders. We spend our lives answering to a series of bosses telling us what to do, how to do our jobs, when we should work, when we should go home, and things really do not have to be this way.

As a bare minimum, I have become quite the advocate of worker-cooperatives. That is, companies that are owned, managed, and ran entirely by the people who work at them. There are quite a few examples of this across the planet but the largest of which is Mondragon.

But I don't necessarily think that is enough to fix the issues in the world. Sure, they help in the immediate. Give workers a chance to be able to control their lives, make a decent living, etc. But workers-cooperatives still have to engage in "the market" - again, nobody has explicitly told me what this is yet. But because they do, then the threat of climate collapse is still there. Some of you might have clicked as to where I'm going with this.

To put it plainly, I am a communist. Now already that is conjuring some fantastical image in your minds of a glorious (or despotic) workers' republic, men with big beards, and big red stars (which personally I am at least a little sympathetic to but I get why people would be hesitant of this). I just wanted to dispel a few myths whilst I'm here.

I advocate and am actively trying to help build a society where everyone in a community - be that a workplace, where a group of people live, or where a group of people play - has an equal say in how that community is ran. History has thousands of examples of collectively ran communities from early civilization right up to the modern day. And whilst none of them were particularly perfect (nothing ever is), they put people in a position where if an issue came up, people could coordinate and try and resolve this issue.

To do this, I am actively involved in IWW union organising. I think the best way for workers to gain collective and equal control of society is by capturing it one workplace at a time so that each and every workplace is fair to the people who do the majority of the work.

But what does this have to do with climate change? With transphobia? Any of it? Well, as said before, a lot of our society is owned by some very rich individuals who will do anything they can to keep hold of what they got. These people aren't inherently "evil" or whatever. But the system of which we exist in encourages them to hold onto what they have by any means necessary. To do this, and they might not even realise they're doing it, they will try and make sure that everyone else is at each others throats by pushing transphobia, racism, all that horrible stuff.

As well as this, those individuals often have friends who own the coal industries, the oil industries, the gas industries, etc, etc. All of whom make their living off those pollutants. It is in their interest to make sure those industries make money. They're not going to change their minds because that is how they survive. But were society controlled by everyone, especially those who would be actively affected by climate change, then something could actually be done.

Okay. But what the HELL does this have to do with coding? Well.. It was a starting point for me. It led to all these thoughts. All these realisations. I started thinking about what I was doing, what I was making. Then I thought about why I was doing it, why my boss wanted me to do it. Then kept expanding from there. Eventually, it painted this whole picture.

I know by this point I will have lost a lot of you. Some people will have immediately seen the long post and gone "Nah, I ain't reading that" and honestly I don't blame you. Some people will have seen the word "communist" and flown off into a rage-induced coma. Again, I don't necessarily disparage people from reacting like that in the face of everything people are told about communists. But I felt that saying all this in the open was appropriate. Every year it feels like we're coming closer and closer to collapse. We can already see it around us. Wear and tear. Cracks slowly expanding. And nobody is doing much to stop it. People are barely pointing at the cracks. Some people are insisting they've always been there, or that they're not there at all. I NEED people to know, and to do something, and to want to do something.

Congrats for making this far. I know the tail end of this has gone into a bit of a poorly structured ramble (as if the rest wasn't..). All this to basically say, I don't think I want to use this page to show off code. I think it can be much more useful than that.

From here on, the posts you will see here will relate to community organising (mostly workplace union organising) and practical things people can do to try and gain some sort of control.

I understand that this will upset, confuse, and even anger some people. But I need to do this for myself. But not only that, I want to do this for everyone else.

Feel free to unfollow, ask questions, do whatever. But please understand that things are getting a bit desperate.

Once again, thank you all so much for all the support and interest over the years. I started this in 2014/15 when I was in a bit of a pit of dispair and wanted to show off something I was passionate about to keep the darkness at bay, and you all helped so much with that. I don't think I'll ever forget this community, but I must move on.

Stay safe, and solidarity. xox

P.S. Apologies for the typos. I was going to run through this a second time. But I REALLY just want it all off my chest now. We can work through it together if need be. <3

[ebbarights]

alright so people won't be annoyed at me liveblogging a three day old episode with thoughts they have already seen a million times i will compile all my thoughts into one post so you can just skip this

SHIV PREGANTE??? i was 80 percent sure this was happening but i'm still fucking surprised just like with logan's death

the intro sounds soo fucky. like i thought there was something wrong with my speakers but this happening right after logan's death I LOVE IT

hiam abbass in intro we love to see it

i feel like i do have to add (since no one will read this anyway) that the reason it has taken this long for me to watch it is that i really really think watching succession is bad for me. like it kind of counts as self-harming behaviour i think. but yesterday i went on a long walk that really helped and now i feel more equipped for the episode. let's see if it undoes all the progress!!

MARCIAAAAAAAAAA MY LONGEST YEAH BOI EVER

this really is the season of hugs

'i'm sure it'll crush me eventually' 'pre-grieved' relatable repression king

my one wish for when the show is over is that someone makes a greg-less cut. just remove all of the scenes where greg's there

first sympathetic karl moment

the HEAVY swedish accent oskar has i love it

willa absolutely slaying that dress and marcia. queen on queen violence

krank real

'i have been worried that this was gonna happen for ages' real. whenever anything bad happens i have already anticipated it and so my emotions never feel real in the moment? like i've practiced them already so often that it's hard to feel something u know

kind of weird to say and probably gonna bite me in the ass later but it really seems like kendall is the most well-adjusted of all of them

'he's a bit racist' interesting use of present tense there roman. sure you've pre-grieved enough

kendall's second name is logan officially confirmed huh

frank openly laughing at greg i loooove it roman fully saying he hates him i am so here for this

is it real motif showing up yet again

i actually can't bear this frank kendall dialogue

did frank say 'he left you' or did he say 'he loved you'

roman just immediately leaving when tom shows up. same

i never would've guessed that shiv would blame herself. honey being on the plane didn't kill him. but it makes so much sense that she feels left behind and alone

i still want to know about how shiv and tom met and what that difficult time was

like i fully believe tom loves shiv and that he means what he says when he tries to comfort her. but with the background of his one ally being dead there's just no way that shiv can believe a word he says, and it's gotta be at least one motivating factor for him

DOG WITHOUT IT'S PERSON roman take a look at that mirror and see what you might find in there

clogged toilet -> bodily fluids motif really all the motifs making a comeback this episode

why is shiv like half a head taller than roman her heels aren't that high

STEWYYYYYYYYYYY

KERRYYYYYYYYYYYY

greg stop talking about being distasteful you fully asked for a job while logan was in a coma

i love roman being nice to kerry maybe i'm naive but i can't see an ulterior motive for that? unless he wants to be like logan oh my god please don't please no

romtom real (also i just accidentally typed rimtom. accidentally? guess we'll never know)

stewy lore his dad is 95 and is 'normal' enough to just randomly sue his neighbour

KENSTEWY REAL

haunted house motif real

i love willa's mom

roman's joking about growing old sharing a bed with his siblings like charlie and the chocolate factory but i'm serious i want that. in my life. both for them and for me and my friends

roman yet again being the only one who thinks about connor. at all

helping old ladies cross the street somebody kill me

roman admitting he betrayed them just so he can get a shot at ceo. well at least he told them himself?

here's the thing i kind of think kendall's right about shiv not really working but. god emotionally i will kill him for you shiv. cutting her out again?????

'i'm not trying to fuck anyone' ace king

shivshivshivshivshivshiv

GREG I LOATHE HIM

SHIVSHIVSHIVSHIVSHIV

connor's mom?????

jesus kendall. i knew he would do this but jesus.

once again the end titles music is so fucking amazing.

[loverofpiggies]

Hey guys- tumblr is a broken website and deleted this nice long thing I was writing you guys! Of course, of course.

But. I read everyone’s comments on my last post about discontinuing GV, and... I appreciate the support so very much ;0;

I’m always excessively hard on myself about this sort of thing, and it broke my heart too that I just. Can’t seem to get back into the story I loved so much. So, thank you for all your kind words. I read everything with tears in my eyes, I won’t lie.

And I AM doing much better then yesterday, a few of my friends were alarmed and contacted me, and. I didn’t mean to alarm anyone. ): I have a tendency to not realize how horrible I’m feeling for a long time, until I do some weird cryptic post, or message to someone, and just sorta crash. It’s not the best coping mechanism or anything, but I gotta be honest I got no clue how to curb it, since I never realize how bad I’m doing until I need a day to be real miserable and cry. So, oops! Sorry about that.

A related note, but. Part of what lead to that, is after I’ve moved back to New Mexico and have been working on my home, well. Some sad stuff under the cut, if you’re up for reading that.

My mom had a stroke a few weeks ago.

She’s doing better overall, but it was a massive shock to the whole family, especially right before Christmas, which is definitely her favorite holiday. It was heartbreaking to see her stuck in a hospital during that time, and just. See her struggling so much.

I only live 10 minutes away from her rehabilitation, while the rest of the family live almost 40, so I’ve been visiting her the most. I’ve been learning how to help her walk, sit, stand, ect, and I’m leaving in about a half an hour to do another learning session with her. I’ve been trying to be the fun, sunshiny one to help make her happy and laugh, and luckily it’s been working, and I’ve seen her spirits go up! But, it’s hard on me sometimes. Christmas was insanely hard and I ended up in tears, my whole family is struggling and it’s just. Been a real hard couple weeks. ): I am so happy I moved here before this happened though, that way I can be there for her.

And I know I’m not alone with the Covid situation, but 2020 was so hard, and so many hardships have happened since then, things that have completely upturned my whole life. I know I’m not alone in that, and I still have so many things to be grateful for, but. It hasn’t been easy. It’s a big part of why I just, can’t write a story right now. Besides, if I did, the writing would be terrible.

I am eternally grateful for the job I have, that I’m able to visit my mom as she needs, even if running a business solo is a LOT of work. But I’m able to shift things around and see her. I’ve also been delivering her food, since the food they give her isn’t.... well, all that great, and she’s barely hungry right now.

I will say, despite all that, I’m surrounded by incredible friends and family to help me during all of this. Despite feeling like crud, I’m really very happy for everyone and everything I have right now. So, thank you again. ;_;

And, I know I haven’t been active on here like at ALL, but the truth is I’ve been working on something, that mostly keeps all the visuals and everything hush hush. I also don’t want to post anything publicly about it, and then maybe be unable to finish it, so I’m mostly doing this project for me.

A while back I posted some visuals that indicated I was making a video game, and well. I still am! Everything has switched to pixel art, and I’ve reworked the game physics. I have the story set in stone, and I’m really genuinely excited to work on it. But unlike comics, you can’t just. Post a page up and do it slowly, you sorta got to complete the whole thing before putting it out.

I’ve learned how to program a ton of stuff, I just finished learning very basic save points and I’m working on the visuals for a menu, and I’m trying to get all the more frustrating things out of the way so I can focus on the story, and the level design.

This is SUPER SUPER early in development, but. I wanted to give you guys something as a thank you. The playable character’s name is Willow, and the other child is Nina!

So, thanks again for reading if you did, I appreciate it. I hope everyone is doing ok, and if you’re not doing ok, that’s ok too. Love you guys <3

[13uswntimagines]

Cutie Pie (Christen x Reader)

Request: christen x reader one? Maybe where the reader has a child (1-2 years old) and the Team doesn't know. Reader and her child are at a game right behind the bench and the kid accidentally drops his paci down to the bench and the teammates there interact with them without knowing that it's christens girl? Reader also is really tall and fit and a tomboy!

“Alright half-pint, you ready for this?” You asked the little girl in your arms, bouncing her just a touch as you stepped through the stadium gates. 

“Yeah, Mama!!!” She cheered around her pacifier, staring around the stadium in awe and wiggling excitedly. 

You were happy that she loved coming to games so much, as they were kinda a big part of your life. You weren’t quite sure what you would do if she didn’t. She was your soul and a certain soccer player had your heart, and you were glad that you didn’t have to choose between the two. 

You smiled indulgently down at her and kissed her slightly chubby cheeks. “I’m glad baby,” 

She wiggled again, her little bounces getting more and more wild with every step you took in the stadium. You hadn’t really planned on having Riley, but now you couldn’t imagine your life without her and her wonder at everything around the two of you.

“Chris?” She asked as you passed a giant poster of the national team, pointing towards where your favorite forward’s blinding smile was blown up 100 times its normal size. 

You would be forever grateful for how amazing your girlfriend was with your daughter. 

She came into your life nearly a year and a half ago, and you had been extremely reluctant to introduce her to your 6 month old (You didn’t want either of them to get attached before you knew it would work out), but Christen took the role of parent very seriously. She treated your little girl like she was her own, and the two had an unbearable bond. You knew that even if things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to, Riley would always have a friend in the forward. 

“You bet. I’m sure she’s super excited to see you!” You said, glancing down at your ticket to and looking for the right section, navigating through the crowd without issue (something you were used to considering how private you and Chris were about your relationship, the only person on the team who knew about you was Tobin). 

“She score?” Riley questioned, her pacifier bobbing adorably in her mouth and her little eyebrows furrowing. 

“I’m sure she will, just for you kiddo,” You smiled, blowing a raspberry into the little girl's neck, and earning a giggle. “Now, do you think you can help me count the rows so we can get to our seats?” You asked as you passed under the sign with your section number and the pitch came into view. 

Riley nodded, puffing her little chest up. She may only be 2, but you and Christen had been working hard on her colors and numbers. She still needed help, but she was super smart for her age. 

“Alrighty then baby, let’s go,” 

*****

The team wasn’t usually this distracted. They were a group of highly competitive women who were at the top of their game, which meant that they could usually block out all of the noise from the stadium, even if it was just warmup. However, the cutest kid they had ever seen was sitting just behind the bench, being held by a very attractive lady. 

“Oh my gosh, have you seen the little girl?” Kelley asked, slinging an arm around Christen and Tobin’s shoulders, nodding towards the toddler in the stands. 

A gooey smile (something that didn’t go unnoticed by Tobin) broke across Christen’s face the second she saw her two favorite people. She noted how you had dressed the little one in the jersey she had gotten her for Christmas, a bold 23 visible every time she flashed her back towards the field. There was just something about having a part of herself visible (something tangible) on the girl she thought of as a daughter. “Yes, she’s absolutely adorable in that jersey,” 

She wiggled her fingers at the little girl who squealed excitedly and waved back. Her mom wrapped a protective arm around her belly to prevent her from accidentally wiggling under the guardrail. 

“Too bad it’s got Press’ number on it” Megan laughed, wrapping her arm around Christen’s other side, nudging the woman’s ribs. Christen rolled her eyes and shot the little girl another little wave, giggling when she bounced wildly in her mother’s arms (Christen might have also greatly appreciated the way the girl's reaction forced you to flex to prevent her from falling). 

“And her mom doesn’t look too bad either,” Ashlyn added, wiggling her eyebrows. 

The woman behind the little girl was tall, and the black ink that swirled up her arms only served to make her muscles more visible (Christen would call her drool-worthy after she finally told the team she was dating her). 

“You’re married, remember?” Ali grumbled, slapping her wife in the stomach. 

“Yeah, but If I wasn’t…” Ashlyn shrugged, cackling when Ali hit her harder. Christen frowned, suppressing a sneer. You were hers, even if the team didn’t know yet. 

Tobin smirked, gently grabbing her training outfit to prevent her from moving forward. “Come on, you can go flirt later. We have to get changed for the game,” She laughed towards Ashlyn, subtly pulling Christen towards the tunnel. 

The rest of the group laughed and followed after them. There would be plenty of time to say hi to the small child later after they had won. 

The forwards still sent another small wave towards the toddler clearly frowning now that her favorite person was walking away (she also may have winked your way just for kicks). 

*****

You could tell that Riley was having a blast. Her little hands wrapped around the bars of the railing so she could be as close to the action as possible. She waved to every player as they passed her (no matter how many times they did) and giggled exuberantly every time they waved back. 

It seemed that the team on the bench was far more interested in making your little girl laugh than watching the game (and you could only imagine how it would be when they finally realized that one of their teammates was basically her second mom). 

“Babe, you gotta stay a little away from the edge alright?” You said softly, tapping her shoulder when her little head went just a little too far through the bars. 

She definitely had your tendency to get in over her head. She ignored you, too enamored by Christen darting down the field, and shooting the ball. It sailed right past the goalie’s hands and before you could grab your little one she was leaping up and down, head still through the bars screaming “Goal!!” as loud as she could around the pacifier. But her enthusiasm caused the small object to fall out of her mouth.

“Uh oh,” Riley said, turning to you, her bottom lip trembling. 

You scooped her up, and she immediately nuzzled into your neck. “It’s ok babydoll,” you murmured into her hair, bouncing her and looking over the railing.

You leaned over the side, only to see one Kelley O’Hara holding your daughter's pacifier and rubbing her head. “Lose something?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow up at you. 

“Sorry, she got a little excited,” You said blushing a little bit. A little smirk graced Kelley’s lips you looked absolutely adorable with some red in your cheeks and paired with the backward cap it made you practically irresistible. 

“Don’t we all when Pressy scores a goal?” Megan winked up at you, wiggling her fingers at your little girl when she peeked up from your shoulder. 

“That’s fair, but she’s a very big fan,” You smiled, bouncing the little girl in your arms and blowing a raspberry just under her chin. 

“Well in that case, why don’t you two come down on the field? You know, so we can return this?” Ashlyn asked, grabbing the pacifier out of Kelley’s hand and jingling it a little. 

“What do you think babydoll?” You whispered into your daughter’s ear, as she was suddenly too shy to look at the soccer players who she had been interacting with not even minutes ago. 

“Wanna go,” she mumbled into your neck, just loud enough for the girls on the ground to hear. Kelley smiled wildly. “Well, little miss speaks after all!”

“Come to the stairs and we’ll get security to let you down. The games about to be over anyway,” Megan said, pointing towards where a little stairway was located. 

You nodded and headed in that direction, unaware of Christen’s furrowed eyebrows on the field. 

*****

“Oh my gosh, that kid is freaking adorable,” Alex said, trotting up beside Christen just as the final whistle blew. Christen turned towards where Alex was looking, awing at the sight before her. 

Riley was shyly standing behind you, clutching the back of your tank top so tightly that it was pulling down the collar (simultaneously showing off some of the swirling lines she knew spread across the skin of your shoulders). 

She would peek out to get a glance at one of the soccer players vying for her attention, and then tuck back into you the second she realized they were looking at her. 

“Isn’t she?” Christen smiled so wide her cheeks hurt. She might not be biologically related to your daughter, but she was 100% her other mom. She loved that little girl so much it hurt  (even when her pigtails were crooked- you were great at a lot of things but hair certainly wasn’t one). 

“Your gooey is showing,” Tobin said, nudging the forward. Christen opened her mouth to respond but was cut of by a very excited squeal. 

“Chris!!!” It yelled, just before a little body collided with the forward’s legs. She quickly bent down to lift the little girl up, throwing her in the air before allowing her to settle on her hip. “Missed you,”

“I missed you too babydoll,” Christen said into your daughter’s hair, holding her tight. She absolutely loved her job, but one major downside was that she couldn’t take you and Riley with her all of the time. At least she had Tobin to keep her up to date most of the time since you lived in Portland, but there was absolutely nothing like holding her two favorite people in person. 

“You better at hair and clothes,” Riley mumbled into her neck, pulling back just a bit to wave her hand around her head. You tried. You really did, but there was a reason you always kept your hair short. You weren’t into bows and frilly things, but your little girl absolutely loved them. So you did your best and were very grateful that Christen was so good with that kind of stuff. 

Christen threw her head back and laughed “I know baby,”. She rubbed Riley’s belly “Did you enjoy the game?” 

“Yeah, you score goal for me and mama,” Riley cheered and kicked her leg as if recreating the goal. Christen laughed again and began walking in your direction. “That’s right. I scored just for my favorite girls,” 

“Hey I scored too you know, and I want some baby bear hugs,” Tobin said, appearing over Christen’s shoulder. 

Riley wiggled wildly in Christen’s arms, practically throwing herself at her favorite aunt. “Aunt Toby!!” She yelled as Tobin dramatically spun her in circles. 

Christen watched the two with a wide smile, only looking away when she felt a presence beside her. 

“Hey superstar, you looked amazing out there,” your smile was evident in your voice as you wrapped your arms around Christen’s waist from behind, kissing her ear and resting your head on her shoulder. 

She signed happily and leaned back into you for a second, before spinning in your arms. “Hey darling,” she said, leaning up and placing a kiss on your lips. 

“Wait, you know Christen?” A voice appeared very close to you, and you reluctantly pulled away from your girlfriend to look at one Kelley o’hara’s wide eyes. 

“Well she’s my girlfriend, so yeah,” Christen shrugged, leaning up to kiss you again. 

You hear Kelley and several other team members sputter, but you were far too preoccupied to actually care. That was until a little voice joined the mix. 

You pulled away when you heard little feet approaching you, squatting down to catch your very excited little girl. You stood with her in your arms, unable to stop you smile when Christen wrapped her arms around the two of you. 

“Yes baby?” Christen asked, running a hand down your daughters back to try and settle her excited wiggiling just a little. 

“Mama, mommy, we go eat with aunt Toby?” Riley asked. And Christen’s sent her an indulgent smile blinking back tears (you were happy that Tobin was so accepting and great with your babygirl). Sure Christen might not have been biologically related to her, but Riley was 100% hers.

[wingodex]

The Old Guard Speech Patterns Analysis

I made a post on the speech patterns of the main characters in The Old Guard, and a lot of people seemed interested in it, so I’ve cleaned up and clarified the rest of my notes. What I’ve looked at specifically here is mostly related to syntax, so grammar and sentence structure. I’ve vaguely looked at pragmatics, which has to do with how context contributes to meaning, and semantics, which deals with the meaning of words, phrases and sentences. I’ve also looked at sociolinguistics, which has to do with the effect of society on language, but I want to be upfront in saying that it’s not my personal area of interest so my knowledge is lacking there. On that same point, I have no formal linguistics training, I’m just into conlanging and everything I know about linguistics is self taught. For each of the characters I’ve talked about contraction usage, colloquialisms, phrases, verb and verb tense usage, ellipses, sentence composition, adjective and adverb frequency, discourse markers and fillers, profanity, vocabulary(ish), and questions.

You can also find all of this on ao3.

Couple of disclaimers to start: while this is obviously a great tool for fic writing, and can help you get a feel for the way that the characters speak in the movie, I’m asking non-Black writers to be very careful about the way you use some of this information when it comes to Nile. When Nile speaks, she uses a lot of colloquial/vernacular language, and while she doesn’t speak AAVE in the movie, her syntax does contain vernacular features. The history of transcribing colloquial language and vernacular dialects—African American/Black English in particular—is racist, classist and ableist. Your decision to write in colloquial language or to incorporate elements of Black English, rather than using Standard English, into Nile’s dialogue can potentially continue a tradition of racial othering if you’re not wary and conscious. Colloquial language in written form is often used to imply a lack of intelligence, a lack of education or a lower class. Be especially considerate of transcribing colloquial reductions like “wanna,” “gotta,” etc. Avoid eye-dialect at all cost, please, I am begging you. In general, the best way to transcribe dialects is through rhythm of prose, syntax, idioms/figures of speech and vocabulary. Even if you rely on those techniques for Nile, I’m still advising the utmost caution due to the complexity of syntax of AAVE and other dialects. For those unfamiliar with AAVE, I go into more detail about it here. If you do decide to use vernacular language for Nile, I’m going to insist you look into copula deletion/zero copula in AAVE outside of this post. It’s usage is very complex and specific. If you decide to use colloquial language for her to really take advantage of the intelligent way that she uses style-shifting in the movie then, at the very least, remember that the other characters (with the exception of Nicky) also use colloquial language frequently in the movie as well. If Nile is the only one in your fic using colloquial language, that’s a problem.

Most of the contextual analysis as it relates to sociolinguistics is based on my own speculation and interpretation of all the data I’ve collected. They contain my own personal biases and are influenced by my own experiences. If you have another interpretation of any of this, I’m absolutely interested in hearing it. Also, there is simply not enough data for any of my observations to be definitive, especially for Joe and Nicky. The two of them combined say around the same number of sentences as Booker, and he only says half as many sentences as Andy. There are literally verb tenses/aspects that not a single person uses in the whole movie. It’s also important to note that I am fallible, and while I do think most of this is accurate, I probably fucked up and missed something or miscounted! More than once! In some cases, I was only able to find one example of something and while I’ve included those observations, they are in no way indicative of a pattern, so don’t view them as strict rules.

I threw around a lot of jargon in this, and there wasn't really an easy way to avoid doing that while talking about most of this stuff. Descriptions are provided throughout the post. I've done my best to define all the more complex and lesser-known concepts, and to provide specific examples from the movie but feel free to reach out if you're unsure about any of it. Basic English grammar things that will be helpful to know to understand all of this post: parts of speech (nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, conjunctions, determiners, interjections), clauses (subject + predicate), tense–aspect–mood for verb conjugation (in English we have: past and non-past; perfective, imperfective, and progressive; and indicative, imperative, and subjunctive), phrase structure, auxiliary verbs, phrasal verbs, wh-movement (who, what, when, where, why, how) and sentence sequencing (in English it’s SVO, or subject-verb-object).

On ellipsis: for Andy, Nile and Booker (and Joe, a little bit), the types of ellipses I focused on were mostly the types that you only see in spoken colloquial English. For Nicky, I talked a lot more about further classification of ellipses that do sometimes apply to the other four, but aren’t as noticeable. 

For phrases, I mostly included idioms and expressions to avoid listing every single phrase in the movie. I generally avoided noun phrases (with a few exceptions), and I don't think I mention any adverb phrases. 

For my own purposes, I’ve decided to define fillers as discourse markers without lexical content that are used to indicate that the pause while speaking is only temporary. The rest of the discourse markers use standard classification.

Thank you to both @disregardandfelicity and @youknowthegirls for looking over this post for me!

Andy

Andy uses every contraction for auxiliary verbs and personal pronouns (e.g. I’m, you’ve, it’s, etc). I mean, she actually doesn't in the movie, but she comes so close that I feel confident in saying she would use all the others. The Wikipedia page for English Auxiliary Verbs has a great chart for contractions. Of the characters, she's literally the only one who does this with this level of consistency.

Her contraction usage isn't limited to personal pronouns. She uses contractions with demonstrative, interrogative, relative and indefinite pronouns. She also uses contractions with "there" and "where", and presumably with “when” and “how” although there are no examples of that in the movie. She uses contractions with negative modal verbs.

Andy uses both the simple future and the more colloquial going-to future construction at various points in the movie. She seems to have a preference for going-to future, and the only time she uses the simple future is in her dramatic opening monologue and when she’s trying to reassure Nile. Otherwise, she sticks to going-to construction.

Simple future: “Will this time be the one?”, “Me and those three men in there will keep you safe.”

Going-to future: “And you’re going to help us.”

Andy also typically uses the colloquialism “gonna” when using going-to future construction. When she uses “going to” instead, it’s during moments of sincerity. As mentioned, she also iconically uses them both in the same sentence.

"I knew this was gonna happen", "You think knowing is gonna make you sleep better at night?"

“You’re not a Marine anymore. They’re going to lock you up.”, “When we leave a footprint in the sand, in the snow, in the ether, you’re going to sweep it.”

“You’re going to protect us from those who want to put us in cages, and you’re gonna help us find those jobs that are best suited to us.”

Andy uses the verb “have” and the phrasal verb “have got” interchangeably, and with no real pattern. Important note: I am only referring to the verb “to have” in the present tense, not when "have" is used as an auxiliary. She doesn’t seem to use “have got” in the negative (i.e. “haven’t got” vs “don’t have”).

“We have to find Copley.”, “I have the new one.”

“You’ve got blood in your hair.” “He’s got Joe and Nicky.”

“We don’t have all the answers, but we do have purpose.”

Andy also uses the colloquialism “gotta” in sentences where she uses “have got” with the infinitive “to”. When she does this, she usually uses contracted have/has. Occasionally she drops the auxiliary.

"You’ve gotta feel it, Nile.”  "There's gotta be a price."

Andy drops the auxiliary when she says, "We gotta go" instead of “We’ve gotta go” and “Sometimes you gotta work with people you don’t wanna eat with” instead of “Sometimes you’ve gotta..”

Andy uses the colloquialism “wanna” in the place of “want to”.

“Well, sometimes you gotta work with people you don’t wanna eat with.” “You really wanna do this, kid?”

Andy incorrectly uses the object pronoun “me” like a true native English speaker

“Me and those three men in there will keep you safe.”

Andy seems to generally say “Yeah” but she says “Yes” when she really means it. She also says “Mm hmm.”

Andy uses several discourse markers throughout the movie. Discourse markers are words that are used to connect, organize and manage sentences while speaking. Andy uses discourse markers to start sentences, as responses, as interjections, etc. The discourse markers that Andy uses are:

Sentence openers: actually, so, come on, here, look, listen, now, oh, well, you know,

Sentence closers: I guess, maybe, right, 

Responses: yeah

Interjections: hey

Connection: to be honest

Andy doesn’t use any fillers. Instead, she pauses and repeats herself as needed.

“Remember what it... what it was like to feel unbreakable.”

Of all the characters, Andy uses the imperative mood the most (throughout the movie Andy tells someone to do something 35 times using this mood)

When Andy repeats herself for emphasis, she usually does it in pairs. The only exception is when she says “why?” three times to Booker in the scene with Copley

Andy uses ellipses, which is when words are omitted from a sentence and the sentence can still be understood. This isn’t particularly noteworthy in what it says about her speech patterns, as everyone uses elliptical construction. It’s just part of how speech works, how dialogue works and how writing works. It’s a feature of English, spoken and written, rather than an anomaly. I do feel it’s worth mentioning though, because I’m going to talk a lot about some specific kinds of ellipses (null subject, null auxiliary and zero copula) that are only found in colloquial and spoken language. For more about elliptical construction, see the Nicky section.

Andy uses noun and verb ellipses when she says, “I’ve been here before... over and over again, and each time the same question.” 

Andy uses answer ellipsis. That means that when she answers questions, she often speaks in sentence fragments rather than full sentences.

[Who’s gonna fly the plane?] “We don’t need a pilot” instead of “[Nobody is going to fly the plane.] We don’t need a pilot.”

Andy occasionally uses sentences with a truncated null subject (i.e. she doesn’t use subject pronouns), but not as frequently as the other characters. 

“Can’t wait” instead of “I can’t wait.”

Andy frequently uses null auxiliary construction and zero copula when asking questions that normally use subject-auxiliary inversion. This means that she will drop the leading auxiliary verb. For more information about zero copula, see Nile.  

Andy uses “You found Copley?” instead of “Have you found Copley?” and “Everyone still with me?” instead of “Is everyone still with me?”

When asking questions, Andy typically uses either the method described above or intonation if she can get away with it. However, she does still ask yes-no questions without dropping the auxiliary. Andy is also one of the only characters to use a disjunctive question. In contrast to the disjunctive (which is often condescending), Andy is also one of the only characters polite enough to use an indirect question.  

Intonation: “Joe and Nicky?”

Disjunctive: “You don’t speak Russian, do you?”

Indirect: “Would you like me to take one for you?”

Andy doesn’t use the subordinating conjunction “that” at any point in the movie.

“Last time I checked, you had to be American to be in the CIA” instead of “Last time that I checked...”

Andy says “What the...” when she’s confused.

Andy makes a humming sound when she’s pleased that’s transcribed as “Mmm!”. Interesting to note that every time she makes this sound, it’s in response to Nicky.

Profanity used by Andy: asshole, fuck, goddamn, motherfucker, shit, shitty

Phrases, idioms and expressions used by Andy: bend it to [your] will, broke [a promise], changes nothing, come on, do the same, enough of this, for all I care, get some sleep, go big or go home, going out for a bit, gotta go, last time I checked, let’s, next time, now and always, on board, play dead, set up, straight to [something], tie off, to be honest, welcome back, what [he] said, whatever it takes, work out

Unrelated to word count or time spent speaking, Andy says more sentences than any other character. She says more than twice as many sentences as Booker and four times as many sentences as Joe and Nicky. Nile says a little less than 2/3 as many sentences as Andy. 

Sentence composition**: 57% of Andy’s sentences are simple sentences, 31% are sentence fragments, 5% are compound sentences, 6% are complex sentences, and 1% are compound-complex sentences.

Languages spoken on-screen: English

Adjectives and adjective phrases appear in 13% of Andy’s sentences. Adverbs and adverb phrases appear in 9% of Andy’s sentences.

Andy is very consistent in her speech. She doesn’t style-shift much and almost exclusively speaks in a colloquial style of Standard American English. There are two exceptions to this: when she was talking to the tourists in Marrakesh, she was overly polite; and when she was dealing with Copley, she enunciated herself far more and was less likely to use contractions. When I say that Andy speaks Standard English, what I mean is that she speaks the dialect of English which has undergone the most regularization and standardization. It’s the one associated with public communication, the one that's used in commerce and government, and the one that has the most institutional support and sanction. Andy is very familiar and comfortable in this dialect, to the point where she even uses common grammar mistakes that native speakers do. Her speech is very casual. I would say that Andy has spent a significant amount of time recently in the United States or Canada, and I also suspect that English is the modern language that she is most comfortable in. I think that Andy has likely spent a lot of time speaking casually with other English native speakers and that her grasp of the language was formed without any kind of formal language training. Andy doesn’t use much descriptive language, and her sentences are typically short and clear. While I think Andy does read a little bit, it’s had very little impact on her speech patterns. I doubt she reads any kind of serious formal writing, or academic works. 

Nile

Nile uses every contraction for auxiliary verbs and personal pronouns (e.g. I’m, you’re, it’s, etc). She also uses them with other nouns and names. Nile is very deliberate about contraction usage. For the most part, in casual speech, she uses contractions, although she does use a lack of contractions to express disbelief or for emphasis. Nile also uses a lack of contractions to show condescension or disapproval. When she’s trying to be authoritative, she’s less likely to use contractions. When she wants to make sure she’s understood, she also doesn’t use contractions.

“I am not jumping from a plane!” “You do not listen to her, you listen to me.”

“We are looking for this man. He has killed many of our people and many of yours.”

Nile uses contractions with demonstrative, interrogative, relative and indefinite pronouns. She also uses contractions with "there", "where", “why” and “how.” She uses contractions with negative modal verbs.

Nile doesn’t use the contraction “y’all” in the movie. In fact, she specifically doesn’t use it.

“How are you all in my dreams?”

Nile uses both the simple future and the colloquial going-to future construction at various points in the movie. Like with contractions, Nile is less likely to use colloquialisms when she’s serious or trying to be authoritative. I think it’s especially poignant when she uses it to express bravery (with Booker). Nile always uses the colloquialism “gonna” when using going-to future construction. 

Simple future: “I’m the one who will walk out of there, one way or another.”

Going-to future: “People that are gonna worry.”

Nile uses the verb “have” and the phrasal verb “have got” interchangeably, however she has a very strong preference for “have got”

“You have my phone?”

“I got people that love me,” “You got a satellite link?”

Nile also uses the colloquialism “gotta” in sentences where she uses “have got” with the infinitive “to”. When she does this, she always uses null auxiliary construction (see below for more details).

“We gotta get out of here!”

Nile uses the colloquialism “wanna” in the place of “want to”.

“I just really wanna hear my mom’s voice one more time.”

Nile truncates “trying to” as “tryna”.

“I’m tryna save you, man!”

Nile truncates “out of” as “outta”

Nile uses a lot of discourse markers. She uses more discourse markers than any of the other characters, although Booker comes very close. Discourse markers are words that are used to connect, organise and manage sentences while speaking. Nile uses discourse markers to start sentences, as responses, as interjections, etc. The discourse markers that Nile uses are:

Sentence openers: so, well, wait, here, yeah, now

Sentence closers: or something, maybe, you know, okay, man

Interjections: come on, what, no way

Responses: yeah

Nile uses some fillers when speaking, however she doesn’t use them often. The fillers she uses are: uh, yeah

While Nile does occasionally use the imperative mood, she’s far more likely to give commands based on intonation alone, rather than syntax.

Intonation: “You do not listen to her, you listen to me,” “We gotta get out of here!”

Imperative: “Land this plane.”

Nile uses elliptical construction when speaking, which means that when words are omitted from a sentence, the sentence can still be understood.  Again, this in and of itself is not very noteworthy, see Nicky for more details. 

“South side of Chicago, a million different ways we could’ve went left.”

She also uses answer ellipsis, meaning that when answering questions, she speaks in sentence fragments.

Answer ellipsis: [You have someone?] “Just my family” instead of “[I have] just my family.”

Nile frequently uses null subject elliptical construction. When using null subject construction, she drops personal pronouns.

“Talked to Copley. Said he could fix it.” instead of “I talked to Copley. He said he could fix it.”

Nile’s use of ellipsis is mostly characterized by her usage of null auxiliary, which is when she drops auxiliary verbs from sentences. The way she does this is very distinct and she’s the only character who speaks like this. While the other characters who use null auxiliary construction do so in the specific context of asking questions, Nile’s usage is more complicated.

Like the others, Nile frequently uses null auxiliary construction and zero copula when asking questions that normally use subject-auxiliary inversion, but unlike the others, she also sometimes drops the auxiliary in wh- questions. For more on zero copula, see below.

"You gonna be okay?" "So, you good guys or bad guys?" 

“Where you taking me?”

Outside of asking questions, Nile also occasionally uses both null auxiliary construction and the zero copula. She is the only character who does this (Andy does this, but only with one specific word/phrase. Nile's usage is less restrictive). Zero copula is a linguistic phenomena where the subject is joined to the predicate without marking that relationship (i.e. there’s no verb). In English, the main copula is the verb “to be”, so zero copula in English describes situations where inflections of “to be” are omitted. When the characters use null auxiliary construction to omit the inflected forms of “to be” while asking questions, they are using the copula deletion. 

In the above example questions, all of them are examples of copula deletion as they are omitting inflections of the verb "to be"

When Nile says “I got people that love me”, she uses null auxiliary construction to omit the auxiliary “have”. Nile always drops the auxiliary “have” when using the “have got” form.

When Nile says “This the shit you into?” she’s actually using the zero copula twice. You’ll notice that she’s missing the leading “is” and in the dependent clause, she’s missing the “are (“Is this the shit you’re into?” in Standard English).

At one point in the movie, Nile includes a further truncated null subject, where she doesn’t use both the subject and the auxiliary verb. Joe does something similar in the present tense.

Nile says “Killed in action when I was eleven” instead of “He was killed in action when I was eleven.”

When asking questions, outside of wh- questions, Nile usually relies on intonation or dropping the auxiliary from subject-auxiliary inversion questions as described above. She does occasionally use inversion for yes/no questions without dropping the auxiliary. 

Intonation: “You have my phone?”

Indirect: “So... you’re even older than him.”

As the audience surrogate, Nile asks the most questions in the movie (she asks 69 questions LMAO)

Another way that Nile formalizes her speech is by inserting the subordinating conjunction “that” into sentences where they would normally be omitted.

“And that was a blank that you shot me with.” “But... you said that we were immortal.”

Nile says “Uh uh” to mean “no” or “don’t even think about it”

Phrases, idioms and expressions used by Nile: a little help, backed down, brains of [the] outfit, come on, follow the money, gave [them] up, honest-to-God, how the hell, what kind of [noun], killed in action, let’s go, move on, never hurts to, no way, one more time, one way or another, roger that, sit your ass down, some bullshit, son of a bitch, stay tight, steal away, went left, what’s up (greeting), 

Profanity used by Nile: ass, bitch, bullshit, damn, fuck, hell, shit

Sentence composition**: 60% of Nile’s sentences are simple sentences, 30% are sentence fragments, 3% are compound sentences, 6% are complex sentences and 1% are compound-complex sentences.

Adjectives and adjective phrases appear in 18% of Nile’s sentences. Adverbs appear in 4% of her sentences. Nile doesn’t use any adverb phrases.

Languages spoken on-screen: English, Pashto

Of all the characters, Nile’s use of English is the most deliberate. While the others are obviously fluent and capable in English, Nile’s use of style-shifting throughout the movie demonstrates a mastery of the language that the other characters simply don’t have. The way that she shifts between formal and colloquial language for emphasis, for clarity, to express disbelief or disapproval, to act authoritatively, to appear casual and friendly, and to invite others to engage with her, speaks to what she is capable of by her word and syntax choices. All of this is obviously enhanced by her tone, her cadence, her pitch, her volume and her speaking speed. 

When Nile speaks, she doesn’t speak in AAVE. That being said, her speech does contain vernacular features. The two elements of Nile’s syntax that are most noticeable are her use of the zero copula and her deletion of “have” in situations where it can be contracted (to clarify: using copula deletion is not necessarily an indicator of AAVE. When the other characters use the zero copula, they are not speaking AAVE. The subtle differences in the context of their usage of copula deletion is what makes Nile’s speech distinctly Black). Some of Nile’s word choices and noun phrases are also reflective of the typical speech of Black people, as pointed out to me by this anon. It’s very likely that Nile can speak AAVE, but doesn’t in the movie. She was raised by two Black parents in a very residentially segregated city, and while Nile didn’t specify the neighborhood she grew up in (you can make some guesses to the general area based on how she talks about it, but that’s not quite the same), Chicago’s South Side is predominantly Black, so the people she was around, the place she attended school and the church she went to were all likely predominantly Black as well. Due to the fact that Standard English is the language taught in public schools in the United States, Nile has obviously also developed a fluency in that dialect as well and can probably code switch between the two dialects. The fact that she doesn’t speak AAVE in the movie isn’t particularly unusual. Society is largely hostile towards Black people speaking AAVE, so language self-policing becomes a survival tool. Nile had also just spent an indefinite amount of time in the US military, which has its own style which has its own style of speaking as well which she would have been using. And then she basically got kidnapped by mostly white people, some of whom have noticeable accents, so having her speak AAVE would’ve been an odd character choice, but not totally implausible.

The way that Nile switches between formal and colloquial English is a type of code switching that I would honestly refer to more as style-shifting. Because she isn’t actually speaking AAVE, I can’t say how the dialect factors into her speech patterns. I think it’s possible that Nile’s ability to style-shift between formal and informal language could have been an ability that she developed as a result of needing to code switch between AAVE and Standard English in an educational environment. I do want to make it very clear however, that when I’m talking about Nile style-shifting, it has very little bearing on the vernacular features of her speech, but rather the colloquial features like contractions, verb choice, ellipsis and her use of phrasal verbs. It’s possible that she uses code switching in the same way, however we don’t have evidence of that in the movie.

Booker

Booker uses most contractions, but not all, and with much less consistency than Andy or deliberate purpose like Nile. He uses contractions for auxiliaries and their inflected forms for personal pronouns. When speaking casually, he uses contractions, but when he’s upset, he uses them far less consistently. He doesn’t use contractions with the past tense inflected form of have (i.e. “had”).

Booker uses contractions with demonstrative, interrogative, relative and indefinite pronouns. He also uses contractions with "there", "where" and “how. He uses contractions with negative modal verbs.

Booker uses both the simple future and the going-to future construction at various points in the movie. He doesn’t seem to have a preference either way.

Simple future: “They will get to learn your secret.”

Going-to future: “It’s gonna take time.”

Booker always uses the colloquialism “gonna” when using going-to future construction.

Booker doesn’t seem to use the phrasal verb “have got” but I could only find one instance of him using the verb “to have” in the present tense, so this isn’t definitive either way. If I had to take a guess, I’d say that, like Andy, he uses “to have” and “have got” interchangeably.

Even though Booker speaks less than Nile and Andy, he uses close to the same amount of discourse markers as them, meaning that they appear far more regularly in his speech. Discourse markers are words that are used to connect, organize and manage sentences while speaking. Booker uses discourse markers to start sentences, as responses, as interjections, etc. The discourse markers he uses are:

Sentence openers: come on, hey, oh, well, listen, I mean, ooh (expressing pleasure), yeah

Sentence closers: right, of course

Responses: yeah, alright

Interjections: hey, ow! (expressing victory)

Connections: by the way, tell you what

Of all the characters, Booker uses the most fillers when speaking. The fillers that he uses are: oh, uh, um, yeah 

Booker pauses and repeats himself as needed. He only does this when he’s upset. Otherwise, he seems to use fillers instead.

“Everyone you love is gonna... is gonna suffer and is gonna die."

When Booker repeats himself for emphasis, he always does it in pairs.

Booker often uses elliptical construction, and the most frequent type seems to be null auxiliary construction. He does use other types of ellipses though (For more about ellipsis, see Nicky). 

“Just because we keep living doesn’t mean we stop hurting.”

Booker uses answer ellipsis, but almost to the point of incomprehensibility. Dude just gives the bare minimum. That means that when he answers questions, he speaks in sentence fragments rather than full sentences.

Answer ellipsis: [You found Copley?] “Nothing, but dead ends” instead of “[I found] nothing but dead ends.”

Booker frequently uses sentences with a truncated null subject (i.e. he doesn’t use subject pronouns).

“Lost the plot after that” instead of “I lost the plot after that”

Booker frequently uses null auxiliary construction and zero copula when asking questions that normally use subject-auxiliary inversion. For more information about zero copula, see Nile.

Booker says “You good?” instead of “Are you good?” and “You have someone?” instead of “Do you have someone?”

When asking questions, Booker almost always uses either the method described above, or intonation. The only time Booker asks a question without dropping the auxiliary is when he says “Are you all right, boss?” to Andy in the cave. 

Intonation: “Oh, she gave it back?”

Booker doesn’t generally use the subordinating clause “that,” but he will sometimes.

“What I do know is she was alone for a long time before she found anyone like her.”

“And they will tell you... that you don’t love them.”

At two separate points in the movie, Booker references Elizabethan literature. “Misery loves company” is from Dr. Faustus by Marlowe and “That way madness lies” is from King Lear by Shakespeare

Phrases, expressions and idioms used by Booker: all in, by the way, calm down, change of clothes, come on, dead ends, give [her] time, give me your hand, how’s it going?, I’ll see you soon, in the open, leave no footprints, let’s go, lost the plot, moving out, misery loves company, reach out, stick to the plan, take time, tell you what, what’s going on, won’t hurt

Profanity used by Booker: shit, putain de merde

Sentence composition**: 59% of Booker’s sentences are simple sentences, 24% are sentence fragments, 3% are compound sentences, 9% are complex sentences, 1% are compound-complex sentences and 4% are not in English

Adjectives and adjective phrases appear in 16% of Booker’s sentences. Adverbs and adverb phrases appear in 8% of Booker’s sentences. 

Languages spoken on-screen: English, French, Italian

We know from Booker’s backstory that he’s French and he’s from Marseilles, and other people have spoken about how Booker’s native language would likely have been Occitan, although he speaks French as well. Like Andy, Joe and Nicky, English is not Booker’s native language, although he does speak it with a high degree of fluency. While there are aspects of Booker’s speech that are more related to him being a non-native English speaker, I wanted to talk about French first. It’s worth noting that French is the only Romance language that isn't a null subject language (and as far as I can tell, Occitan isn’t either). This means that when Booker uses null subject construction, that’s either something he picked up from another language or from being around people speaking colloquial English. The thing that stands out to me the most about Booker’s speech though, is actually the way he uses intonation (and to a certain extent, null auxiliary construction as well) when asking questions. While French can use subject-auxiliary inversion, for the most part, you just ask questions by intonation. In the French dub of the movie when Booker asks “You travel?” he says “T’as voyagé?” which in English directly translates to “You travelled?” or “You’ve travelled?” While I could get into semantics about verb tenses, do-support and modality, what I’m getting at here is that both “You travel?” and “T’as voyagé?” mean the same thing and are expressed in a form that feels semantically similar to me even if it’s not syntactically similar, in the same way that ending a question with the tag “right?” (which Booker uses a lot) feels the same as the tag “non?”

There are a couple of things that I think are interesting about Booker’s manner of speech. Booker primarily speaks in simple and fragmented sentences, which is pretty normal, but what’s different about him is the way that a lot of his speech is referential. What I mean is that Booker relies on a lot of common phrases, common clauses, clichés and quotations when he speaks. In a lot of ways, Booker speaks the way your typical action hero is supposed to. You get a sense of Booker engaging in a broader cultural and literary conversation. I don’t know how to explain this exactly, but when Booker speaks, you just know he reads and that he watches tv and movies. And not just that, but that he borrows and imitates aspects of what he reads. But besides the pragmatic element of Booker’s speech, all of the things that are notable about Booker’s speech are things that you also see in Andy, Joe and Nicky. Syntactically, there’s nothing about Booker’s speech that is distinctly unique to him, unlike the rest of the characters who all have their own little quirks. It’s almost like Booker is imitating the others, or borrowing someone else’s words. There is one notable exception, and that’s when Booker is talking to Nile in the cave. As the conversation goes on, you see this breakdown of Booker’s language as he attempts to tell his own story. Suddenly, a lot of the conventions established about Booker’s speech prior to this scene don’t apply. Obviously there are multiple explanations for this, ranging from English not being his first language to the fact that he was talking about something deeply personal and traumatizing to someone who was essentially a stranger. But what makes this scene stand out is the fact that in his next major scene, Booker is clearly on the verge of a full breakdown, but because he’s again relying on this established lexicon, you don’t see it reflected in his speech the same way that it is in the cave.

Joe

When Joe bothers with personal pronouns, he usually uses contractions with auxiliary verbs (e.g. I’m, she’s, it’s, etc). The exception to this is that Joe doesn’t use contractions with the past tense inflected auxiliary form of have (i.e. “had”).

Joe uses contractions with demonstrative, interrogative, relative and indefinite pronouns. He also uses contractions with "there". He uses contractions with negative modal verbs.

Joe only uses a future tense once in the entire film, and when he does, he uses going-to future construction. When he uses going-to future construction he uses the colloquialism “gonna"

“What are you gonna do?”

Joe doesn’t use the colloquial “have got” and always uses “to have”. 

“We have to find her”, “Well, now you have even more.”

This may be because Joe isn’t in the movie as much as the first three, or that he just genuinely doesn't use them often, but he uses considerably fewer discourse markers. Discourse markers are words that are used to connect, organize and manage sentences while speaking. Joe uses discourse markers to start sentences, and as interjections. The discourse markers that Joe uses are:

Sentence openers: oh, so, well, yeah

Interjections: hey, what

After Booker, Joe uses the second most amount of fillers. He uses more fillers when having a back-and-forth style conversation with someone than when he’s essentially monologuing. The fillers that Joe uses are: mmm, uh

Joe sometimes uses ellipses when speaking. Again, not super noteworthy, but I wanted to mention it nonetheless. 

“He’s the moon when I’m lost in darkness and warmth when I shiver in cold.”

Joe uses answer ellipsis in the movie, but he doesn’t actually speak in sentence fragments when he does this. While answer ellipsis is pretty standard in English, Joe’s commitment to saying more than was asked of him isn’t.

[So... you’re even older than him.] “Nicky and I met in the Crusades.” instead of “[Yes, we are.] Nicky and I met in the Crusades.”

Joe uses sentences with a null subject (i.e. he doesn’t use subject pronouns).

“Depends on the century.” “Fought thousands of battles side by side.”

Joe uses sentences which have both a null subject and uses copula deletion. See Nile for more details on zero copula.

“Very pissed off.” “Faster than the elevator.”

In the movie, Joe only really asks wh- questions. He does ask a few using intonation, although most of those questions act more like additional tags on a wh-question, rather than a question by itself. As such, it's unclear whether Joe uses null auxiliary construction or the zero copula when asking questions.

Intonation: "Bedhead?” “So we just leave her out in the open?”

When Joe repeats himself for emphasis, it’s usually in groups of three. 

Joe says “what” when he doesn’t hear something/doesn’t understand something

As previously mentioned, Joe uses some formal words like "thus" and the impersonal pronoun "one". Here are some other words to consider having Joe use unironically as well: alas, amidst, await, behest, ergo, hence, latter, much, nor, notwithstanding, promptly, quite, shall (modal), thence, thereupon, thoroughly, whereas, whom (used correctly of course), yield

Even though Joe speaks quite formally a lot of the time, he never uses the subordinating conjunction “that” when it can be omitted.

“The first immortal Andy found.”

Phrases, expressions and idioms used by Joe: all in, attention to detail, come on, I guess, out in the open, measure and reason, over a [time period], piece of shit, proved [their] case, side by side, way back

Profanity used by Joe: goddamnit, shit

Unrelated to word count or time spent speaking, Joe says the least amount of sentences out of the five main characters, although this doesn’t mean very much, considering Nicky says exactly one more sentence than him. 

Sentence composition**: 57% of Joe’s sentences are simple sentences, 21% are sentence fragments, 5% are compound sentences, 4% are complex sentences, 4% are compound complex sentences and 9% are not in English.

Adjectives and adjective phrases appear in 29% of Joe’s sentences. Adverbs and adverb phrases appear in 8% of Joe’s sentences.

Languages spoken on-screen: English, Italian

The best way to describe Joe’s manner of speaking is that it’s like he has two different styles. You get the sense that sometimes Joe just says whatever and sometimes he says something that he’s rehearsed in his head. Joe is a Maghrebi Muslim man from the Islamic Golden Age so he comes from a culture and time with a rich history of and respect for both written and spoken poetry, both impromptu and memorized. I think he carries that tradition quite well. When Joe is orating (van speech and Quynh backstory), his sentences are much more structured and he uses more formal language. He doesn't speak in sentence fragments, he doesn't use any colloquial language besides contractions and he doesn't use discourse markers or fillers like he does in the more casual back-and-forth conversations. If you look at Joe's sentence composition percentages, you'll notice that Joe has comparatively less sentence fragments than other characters and that’s purely because when he orates, it's in full sentences (minus poetic ellipsis, but that's allowed). That's why it seems to me as though Joe rehearses some of what he says in advance. I don’t know the extent to which he does that, but at the very least it seems like he’s sat down and thought “how would I explain Quynh to the new immortal?” or “What would I say to someone belittling my relationship with Nicky?” Even in the delivery of the line “Faster than the elevator” there is quite a long pause between him seeing that Nile jumped out a window and actually making the joke, as if he’s thinking about it first. The majority of the sentences Joe says are in the van speech and while telling Quynh’s backstory. In casual conversations, Nicky seems to take the lead more than Joe.

I’d also speculate that Joe is quite literate. Obviously there’s his own affinity for storytelling and oration, but his use of language hints at a larger vocabulary. You see him use a frequently neglected pronoun in English and a relatively formal adverb. He also uses adjectives like “grotesque” and “infantile”. He does end sentences while prepositions though, so he obviously does not give a fuck about John Dryden and Joshua Poole. That being said, I think the idea of rearranging Joe’s sentences so they don’t end in prepositions is funny and fits his whole vibe.

Joe uses null subject construction in English, and while that’s pretty common in everyday speech in English, it is worth noting that both Italian and Arabic are null subject languages. The way that Joe uses null construction in English is far more similar to Italian than Arabic, which requires a change in sentence sequencing but I still think it’s neat. The thing that Arabic brings to the table that I’m more intrigued by is the fact that it’s a zero copula language. It’s not a matter of copula deletion like AAVE, there straight up is not a copula in the present tense, so the lack of a verb (and specific sentence sequencing) is the copula in the present tense. When Joe drops both subject and verb in the present tense he is, in effect, simulating a similar situation due to the ambiguity of the sentences themselves where the only way you can correctly interpret the sentence is by understanding that the missing verb must be a copula. He gets rid of a subject pronoun as a shout out to Italian, I guess, but also because it would sound so silly if he didn’t. I don’t think Joe necessarily picked up this habit from Arabic, but I do think it’s a fun coincidence.

Nicky

Of all the characters, Nicky has the least consistent contraction usage for personal pronouns and auxiliaries (e.g. I’ve, you’re, it’s, etc). There are examples throughout the film of him using a contraction and then in the next scene he just doesn’t. Unlike with the other characters, who have a discernable pattern (Andy always uses contractions, Nile uses contractions for dramatic emphasis, Booker becomes more inconsistent with contractions when upset, Joe doesn’t use contractions in certain tenses), Nicky is totally random in his contraction usage.

My personal favourite example of this is: “She’s more alone than she has ever been in her entire life.”

Nicky uses contractions with demonstrative, interrogative, relative and indefinite pronouns, however this usage is just as inconsistent as with personal pronouns. He also uses contractions with "there.” He uses contractions with negative modal verbs.

Outside of contractions, Nicky doesn't seem to use colloquialisms in the movie.

Nicky doesn’t use the colloquial going-to future construction and relies on simple future construction

“You will not be able to give him what he wants”, “If it’s now Andromache’s, nothing you do will stop it.

Nicky doesn’t use the colloquial phrasal verb “have got” and instead uses “have”

“I have something for you”

Nicky only has a few discourse markers in the movie. Discourse markers are words that are used to connect, organise and manage sentences while speaking. Nicky uses discourse markers to start sentences, as interjections and as responses. The discourse markers that he uses are:

Sentence openers: so

Interjections: hey, wait, what

Responses: yeah

Nicky doesn’t use any fillers. Instead, he pauses and repeats himself as needed.

"I believe it's because we... we are meant to find each other"

In my other post, I mentioned that Nicky speaks in full sentences, and while that is mostly true, it’s a bit of an oversimplification. While that kind of a statement is fine for an overview post, I felt it would be disingenuous to leave it at that. Nicky speaks in sentence fragments just like everyone else. In fact, he speaks in sentence fragments more than Joe does. He uses ellipsis, but the way he does it is functionally different from the specific methods of null subject, null auxiliary and zero copula that I’ve talked about with the other characters. While the others are quite formulaic about their usage of ellipses, Nicky’s is far more nebulous because it’s very much dependent on context. 

Nicky uses answer ellipses, like the others.

[Bedhead?] “Nicely tousled.”

The next way that Nicky uses ellipses might better be described as anaphora. That means when he’s eliding words, the omitted words in the sentence can be found through the context of the sentence preceding it. 

The sentence “The only reason we haven’t... is that it’s not our time yet” is missing a past participle. The missing verb is found in the previous sentence: “Everything has to die, Mr. Merrick.”

In fact, almost all of Nicky’s use of sentence fragments and ellipses can most easily be characterized this way. If the sentence that Nicky says is incomplete in some way by itself, that’s usually because he’s referring to something either he, or someone else, has said. In some cases, it’s as if he’s continuing or adding additional information to the sentence preceding it.

“We killed each other.” “Many times.”

“It was a woman. A Black woman.”

Another way of characterizing some of his use of ellipses is to imagine he’s using answer ellipsis to a question nobody asked him. 

[What did you see?] “Dirt floor, clay walls.”

In one particular instance, Nicky says the noun phrase “A fine justification.” It’s already an example of anaphora, as it is referring back to Kozak’s “I believe this can change the world.” Nicky’s sentence bears some similarity to Joe’s “Faster than the elevator” as it’s also an example of a sentence which is missing both verb and subject, however when Joe uses this kind of construction, he only does so before an adjective phrase. One could extrapolate from this that Nicky uses null subject and zero copula construction with adjective phrases and Joe similarly uses it for noun phrases, but that’s just speculation.

The final way that we see Nicky use ellipsis is honestly the most baffling and I’m still not entirely sure how to best explain it. The sentence is “Spend eternity in a cage.” It is clearly not the imperative mood, it wouldn't make sense for Nicky to be telling Nile to spend eternity in a cage. Unlike the other examples of Nicky’s use of ellipsis, the preceding sentence (“That’s the reason we dread capture”) provides context but not specific form. Breaking it down from an English language perspective, the only thing that makes sense to me is that “spend” is actually the infinitive phrase “to spend” where the infinitive "to" has been elided and there is an implied “[We are afraid][to] spend eternity in a cage.” I want to be clear here: I understand this sentence. I know what Nicky is saying, I simply have no idea why I know what he's saying. I don't understand why this sentence works. For further theories, look at the section on sociolinguistics at the bottom.

Sometimes Nicky adds unnecessary pronouns to a sentence.

“But then, Andy and Quynh, they were accused of witchcraft themselves and they were trapped and caught.”

Nicky does use the subordinating conjunction “that” but there are also times when he doesn’t. The common Nicky pattern of *shrug*

“The only reason we haven’t... is that it’s not our time yet”

“As much as I like watching you sleep, I’m glad you’re awake.”

When Nicky asks questions, he doesn’t use any kind of null auxiliary construction or zero copula for subject-auxiliary inversion questions. Nicky is also the only other character (after Andy) polite enough to ask indirect questions, and he uses them when talking to people who kidnapped him, which is kind of a power move. Nicky doesn’t seem to use intonation much when asking questions either.

Subject auxiliary inversion (yes/no questions): “Are we too late?” “Are you sure?”

Indirect: “I don’t suppose it would be possible to get these chains off of us?”

Intonation: “Nile?”

Phrases, expressions and idioms used by Nicky: as much, cast off, do you know, get some rest, getting away, I suppose/don’t suppose, judge of character, love of my life, 

Sentence composition**: 47% of Nicky’s sentences are simple sentences, 24% are sentence fragments, 3% are compound sentences, 15% are complex sentences, 2% are compound complex and 9% are not in English.

Adjectives and adjective phrases appear in 23% of Nicky’s sentences. Adverbs appear in 6% of Nicky’s sentences. Nicky doesn’t use adverb phrases.

Languages: English, Italian, Nuer

Before I start this, I want to say that despite having a strong accent, I think Nicky is quite proficient in English. He knows the subtle differences between words like “unethical” and “immoral,” he’s aware of and capable of using expressions with irregular syntax and he uses sophisticated linguistic phenomena in English. He uses so many complex sentences it makes my head spin. Leaving all that aside, I think that Nicky probably translates from Italian into English while speaking. Like Nile, Nicky is very deliberate about his language but in a different way. While Nile uses style-shifting to accomplish a number of different things, Nicky is primarily concerned with clarity. I think that Nicky’s tendency towards more formal language is a kind of overcompensation to make sure that he’s being understood. Another thing worth noting is that I think Nicky has actively studied language before, in a class setting or by himself, and has at least some knowledge of linguistics (specifically syntax). At the very least, he is knowledgeable about both Italian and English syntax.

This theory is largely based around the idea of overcompensation. Nicky is primarily concerned with the clarity of speech and because of that, he doubles-down on grammar and structure. Italian is a null subject language so you actually see Nicky use null subject construction when he says “Sono qui” and “Dovremmo tonarci” but you don’t see anything similar in the way that he speaks English even though all the other characters frequently rely on truncated null subjects. He demonstrates a clear awareness of the standard language restrictions of English and how that compares to the restrictions of Italian. And not just that: there’s actually an example in the movie where Nicky adds an extra and unnecessary pronoun in English. In another sentence, Nicky could have used a contraction on two separate instances and deliberately only contracted one of them because the contractions were two different tenses. For the most part, this overcompensation makes it so Nicky’s speech—while unconventional—is still grammatically correct. That’s how you get things like Nicky saying, “The love of my life was of the people I’ve been taught to hate,” which isn’t how most native-speakers would intuitively phrase it themselves and as a result, a further layer of nuance is added by the use of the Present Perfect Continuous. Despite the fact that Nicky uses some unconventional phrasing in English, he doesn’t seem particularly bothered by it or concerned about it. He’s more than willing to experiment with his speech and seems very confident in it as well. That’s why I think he has some kind of formal language training with English, because he clearly understands the system that he’s working with but is less aware of some of the common ways of speaking. I seriously doubt that Joe and Nicky spend much time speaking to each other in English.

Another point that I think is worth mentioning: while Joe seems to thrive while orating and speaks relatively simply otherwise, Nicky is the exact opposite. Nicky’s language capabilities are on full display when he’s engaging in discourse, but when he’s telling Nile about Quynh, you see a lot more irregular syntax structure from him. It’s during this discussion that you hear the line “Spend eternity in a cage,” that I’ve struggled with above. The other possible explanation for the use of this unconventional sentence construction was actually given to me by @rhubarbdreams, who said that the sentence actually makes more sense syntactically in Italian, which has an impersonal imperative. In fact, in the Italian dub, that’s allegedly what it does (“per non passare l'eternità in una gabbia.”) Whether Nicky’s apparent tendency towards unconventional speech in this circumstance is a chronic tendency from overthinking while speaking English or a result of the specific topic they were discussing is up for personal interpretation, although I do think it’s interesting that Nicky was the one primarily leading conversation up until Joe took over specifically when they were recounting a story. I think this is especially interesting considering Nicky was apparently a priest, however this might just be a limitation to him in languages he doesn’t use as often. 

Bonus: Quynh

Quynh doesn’t have that many lines, so it’s not really possible to do any kind of meaningful analysis about her speech patterns (she says 16 sentences and 10 of those are screaming “no” or someone’s name). That being said, I do want to look at all the lines she presumably said in English (I’m ignoring Lykon’s death scene because if Lykon really did die in the 6th or 7th century, then they absolutely weren’t speaking Modern English, you know?)

So first we have the lines from the witch trials:

“I’ve never been burned alive before. What do you think it’s gonna be like?”

“Just you and me.”

Okay so obviously there’s some ambiguity over exactly when this happened, since Joe said 500 years in a box and TOGTH lists it happening around 1750. In the comics, Noriko fell overboard around 1590. I simply think the 1750 date is incorrect based on when people were being burned at the stake for witchcraft and heresy. I could talk more about that and my own headcanons about when it happened, but this is a post about linguistics, so what’s important to take from all this is that it probably took place at the earliest sometime in the late 15th century and, at the latest, the very beginning of the 17th century.

Taking all that into consideration, I can say almost certainly that all of Quynh’s lines are some kind of misremembered modern translation of what she actually said. She uses two contractions (I’ve and it’s) that were maybe in use, but likely uncommon. “It’s” was used, although you would be far more likely to see its counterpart “tis”, and contractions with “have” and “had” were only becoming common towards the end of the 16th century. There’s also the problem of the pronoun “you” and how singular “you” would not have been used in this informal context. And since “you” should be the singular “thou”, the archaic singular second-person conjugation of “do” would instead be correct. And finally: going-to future construction may have been used at the time (I can’t speak to the commonality of it), but I honestly can’t say with any certainty whether the colloquial “gonna” was in use. The first recorded use seems to be the 19th century. I’m sure there are other things that are anachronistic about the speech but I don’t know enough about Early Modern English morphology and syntax to speculate any more about it. 

So yeah, Andy and Quynh’s conversation is either Andy’s misremembering of it in Modern English, it was never in English in the first place like the other scene, or just Hollywood movie magic for the viewers (I would love to see someone attempt to translate it back into Early Modern English though, I’m just saying).

“It’s nice to finally meet you.”

The one line that I feel has legitimate value in the analysis of Quynh’s speech patterns in English is the final one that she says to Booker. She’s using ME, obviously, with its contractions and singular “you.” She’s also using a modified idiom, “Nice to meet you”, which is interesting because that absolutely wouldn’t have been used when she went under water considering the word “nice” was derogatory at the time. All of this implies to me that Quynh has definitely spent time on land before she finds Booker. Also she split the infinitive ("to meet"). I don't know what that says about her speech, but I sure am looking at it.

Fun Quynh fact: of the 6 times that Andy’s full name is used in the movie, half of them are said by Quynh

**A note on sentence composition: I intentionally didn't go into detail about sentence composition outside of brief mentions. If any of you are curious about it, you can ask. I'm more than willing to discuss sentence clause structure, but I didn't want this to become even longer and more convoluted than it already is. Part of why I’m reluctant to give it any weight here is because of how lenient I was with what was considered a sentence fragment vs. a simple sentence, as the characters are speaking colloquial English. A movie isn’t formal writing and to evaluate dialogue by that same metric is silly. Also, I considered interjections sentence fragments to start and then realized halfway through that that was a bad idea and they should have had their own separate section, but at that point I was in too deep, and didn’t want to go back and do it all again. In the same way, there are sentences that I considered compound or complex sentences, but that “technically” aren’t because a lot of characters drop pronominal subjects and like. Officially you can’t have null subject clauses in English, because that’s not how the language works on paper (imperative mood aside). Or they elided part of the sentence so that technically it's not a clause. But people don’t actually care about stuff like that when they talk. Also I may have messed up a few times, because complex sentences are hard and sometimes I get phrases and clauses confused. It can be difficult to tell when there’s a lot happening, you know? (this is about Nicky. Sir, why do you talk like that) 

If you’re a fanfic writer, I’m going to advise that you take the part about sentence composition with a grain of salt or ignore it entirely, unless you’re already familiar with sentence clause structure in English. It will not be helpful to you for writing character dialogue until you’ve actually put in the work to understand it and practice. As mentioned, I still mess it up sometimes if a sentence has too many phrases. Basically, if you think too hard about it, I guarantee it’ll stress you out.

[primal-con]

Okayokayokay

At least half of what I’ve posted is in relation to this au and I’ve literally never talked about it so uhh,, I’m just gonna compile some thoughts about it here, for all our sakes, as I am incredibly disorganized. So without further ado, I present to you all:

Transformers street racer AU

Now, important questions first: what does that actually mean? Literally, I have no idea how to explain it succinctly and it came to me in some sort of stroke of prophetic genius, so the best I can summarize it is this. 80s retro-cyberpunk human AU where at least half the cast is illegal drag racers. Now some rapid-fire to set the stage. Putting the rest under the cut cause I can already feel how long it's gonna get.

Does it actually take place in the 80s? Kind of! It’s more like 80s sci-fi or maybe an alternate version of the 80s, so it’s high-tech but with a retro aesthetic.

Is there still a war in this AU? Yes, but that’s more backstory than a central crux of the current plot. It was a civil war, it lasted six years, and a decent number of the older characters fought in it, but it’s history now.

Who are the Autobots and the Decepticons then? Within the context of the AU, they are rival racing groups led by Optimus and Megatron respectively, they hate each other’s guts because their leaders have bad blood and no reputable racers let them compete against one another anymore.

Where do the non-racing Bots and Cons fit then? Other Autobots and Decepticons who I don’t include in the inner racing circle basically have some form of ties to one of the leaders. Usually that means they either got help from Optimus at some point or have done some illegal dealings for Megatron. Examples include Wheeljack, who doesn’t race but is friends with Optimus and owns the auto repair shop most of the Bots get their cars serviced at, and Breakdown, who sometimes works as hired muscle for Megatron.

And finally, what actually is the main plot? Well, I have several smaller fics planned within the AU following a bunch of different characters and where they fit, but the actual main fic is centered around Bumblebee! By this point, he’s freshly dropped out of college and moved back home and he’s feeling a little aimless. Now that he’s an adult he’s allowed to race with the others but they still treat him like the baby of the team and don’t really take him seriously. The primary plot surrounds two conflicts: Bumblebee’s crisis of identity and his struggle to figure out his place in the world, who he wants to be, and how he can stop living in Optimus’s shadow, and the rising tensions between both street racing teams as Megatron starts getting involved in more illegal activity and pushing Optimus’s people around. Tons of characters make appearances and I’ve mapped out a frankly absurd amount of lore about them, but a few characters who I intend to write other smaller stories about include Soundwave and Jazz, Drift and Ratchet, the Dinobots, and the man the myth the legend Optimus himself.

With all that out of the way, now we get to the fun part. Characters! (With a reminder that this list is in no way comprehensive and more characters will likely be added and adapted later, these are just some of the more important ones)

Autobots

Optimus Prime, obviously. He’s sort of the de facto leader of their racing “team” in that it’s his house everyone constantly loiters around and he’s the reason most of them have met. His day job though is he’s a librarian, which I think is hilarious because he looks like he walked out of a lumberjack calendar and sounds like he’s about to yell “You shall not pass!”

Bumblebee, who’s been an honorary Autobot since Optimus adopted him when he was eight. He’s trans, he’s disabled, and he’s gotta go fast. In short, he’s the character I’ve projected the most onto

Jazz! Love this guy’s vibe. He was the one to suggest the Autobot title in the first place and kind of cement the group into something less loosely defined. Racing is really more of a hobby though, professionally he’s a dancer and choreographer.

Ratchet isn’t technically an Autobot since he doesn’t race but they call him one anyway. He and Optimus are in a qpp and I will be taking zero criticism of the fact. He used to work as an EMT, now he’s chief of medical staff at the local hospital. He also sort of functions as the Bots’ go-to medic which is why they come away with so few speed-related injuries, they are all terrified of him.

Other folks who I have fewer details about include Ironhide, Hound, and Cliffjumper. Then there’s Knock Out who defects later and Sides and Sunny who have every intention of becoming Bots when they’re older.

Anyone else who’s an Autobot in canon but doesn’t race or at least doesn’t race with the bots counts as affiliated. A few that’ll probably be mentioned in the fic include the Rescue Bots, Hot Rod, Blurr, Prowl, Elita 1, Strongarm, Windblade, Arcee, and Mirage, plus probably a ton of others I’m forgetting right now

Decepticons

The bitch himself, Megatron. He’s a pro boxer but most of his resources come from his family’s history of war profiteering, he rebranded like crazy though after the side his family supported lost the war. He and OP have a uhh complicated history cough cough exes cough cough which is why he’s so hell-bent on stamping out the Bots

The Elite Trine only consists of two racers, Thundercracker and Skywarp. Starscream is basically Megatron’s glorified personal assistant and he hates every second of it. The trine aren’t actually related but everyone thinks they are since they look pretty similar to one another which Screamer arguably hates even more.

Soundwave!! If you cannot tell, he’s my favorite. His respect for Megatron is probably the only reason he tolerates the rest of the Cons and doesn’t just start racing solo. Officially he works as a DJ and produces his own music, but he also sells information to Megs on the side to make enough money to support Rumble and Frenzy, who in this AU are his dumbass kids.

Shockwave aka the walking car wreck. If reckless endangerment were a person, this would be him. No one likes racing against him because when he’s on the track, chance of injury goes way up, not because he’s bad at driving but because he legitimately thinks it’s fun. He races for the Cons as a favor to Megatron for funding some of his less than ethical experiments.

More honorable mentions include Shadowstriker, “Deadlock”, Knock Out, and truly any of the countless seekers.

Same with the Bots, anyone who’s a Con in canon but doesn’t race for Megatron counts as affiliated and also probably has something criminal goin on that Megs is a part of. Some names include the Combaticons, the Constructicons, Pharma, Ambulon, and of course tons more I can’t think of right now.

Unaffiliated/it’s complicated

The Dinobots, my beloveds! In this AU they’re a dinosaur-themed synthpunk band and I’m obsessed with them. They grew up in the same foster home together and just never abandoned their collective dino phase. Grimlock’s the lead, Sludge plays drums, Slag plays bass and does backup vocals, Snarl plays guitar, and Swoop is on keytar, they all work at Wheeljack’s auto body shop and he’s basically their surrogate dad.

Drift… is…. Complicated?? Is he a Con, is he a Bot, is he just really sad? Who knows! He flips around a little bit but I think by the start of the main fic he’s firmly in the Not A Con zone. Once he’s settled he starts teaching martial arts at a local dojo and so far Jazz is the only person he’s sparred against who wasn’t immediately knocked flat on their ass

Knock Out and Breakdown, who only landed themselves on this part of the list because they defect about halfway through. KO races for Megatron at first mainly because the guy is paying him to act as his off-the-record doctor for any of his “affiliates” but I have a whole major subplot with them and Starscream that makes em flip sides. KO is a nurse at the local hospital and Breakdown is a bouncer at the same club Soundwave DJs at.

Cyclonus, Tailgate, Lug, and Anode are also all unaffiliated for obvious reasons

Cheetor and most of the Beastformers are also technically unaffiliated? They’re kinda complicated in that they’re weird as fuck and idk what to do with them

Anyway, if all that interests you then the first fic of the series I’ll be publishing is Bleeding Heart, a prequel of sorts from Optimus’s perspective that mostly introduces a bunch of context and follows how he came about adopting Bee and starting the Autobots. There’s already a bunch of cheeky references in there to canon material and also I keep including Ratchet in scenes for no reason cause I love him. So if dramatic gay breakups, sad foster kids, Elita and Ratchet being Optimus’s annoying ass best friends, and obnoxious found family is your thing then you’re in for a real treat. It might take me a while to upload the first fic but feel free to stick around cause I post all sorts of doodles and dumb jokes while I’m working and I have no intentions of stopping anytime soon.

[smellslikemultifandomimagines]

Hi there! Can I request Dick Grayson x fem reader where they’re training and one thing leads to another and the end up having some sexy time

warnings: smut // fem!reader.

word count: 1.9k

Omg I’m so sorry this is so late!! Hopefully it’s hot enough to make it up to you!!

requests are open!

Announcement coming tomorrow (titans related)!

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• ☾ ☼ ☽ •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

Ever since the Titans found out that their old enemy, Dr Light, is back in town, everyone had been pretty on edge. Dick had us all training harder than before; longer hours, tougher fighting and weapon training. One thing seemed to impress him — and even calm him a little — is the persevering determination that I possess. Each time he’d walk past the training room, he’d peak his head in and see me beating up a boxing bag or throwing knifes at the wall or even working with the cross bow. I was new after all and felt that I needed to get up to speed with everyone’s training skills. 

Dick had been tense and agitated all night. Him and the Titans — excluding Jason, Rach, Gar and me, of course — were going down to the stadium to fight Dr Light. The rest of us sat around the Titan Tower. Jason was pacing around the living room, where we all sat, complaining about Dick not taking any of us seriously. Rachel, who seemed to have zoned out ages ago, was scrolling through her phone and not even bothering to look up at Jason. Which left Gar and I to converse with Jason. 

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• ☾ ☼ ☽ •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

“Where’s Dr. Light?” Jason snickers at Dick. 

“Jason,” Rachel warns. 

“A little stealth job on a guy who shoots what, head lamps? I mean, half the city’s on fire and still no sign of Dr. Light,” Jason scoffs as he approaches Dick.

“Not the time Jason,” Dick replies sternly, yet exhaustedly. 

“Look, I don’t take orders from you anymore, man.” Jason steps closer to Dick, both of their jaws are clenched and we all knew this wouldn’t end well. “I do what I want, when I want.” 

I roll my eyes at Jasons remark. This kid thinks he’s older and more experienced than he is. I love him, but I think he doesn’t even have the slightest clue what we’re up against. No one does. 

Jason puts a hand on Dick’s chest, stopping Dick from walking past him.

“Get out of my way,” Dick said lowly, causing Jason to sigh. 

“I think you got it all wrong. You’re in my way. Yeah, and maybe you need to see a retirement package, huh?” Jason turns away and looks at us. His knuckles crack as he balls them into a tight and angry fist. Turning back to Dick , Dick says a serious “Don’t” almost as if he was warning him. Jason ignores him and swings his fist toward Dick, but Dick takes it and thrashes him down on the ground. Jason whimpers as he hits the ground. 

“Shit. Here,” Dick reaches his hand out apologetically towards Jason, who just slaps it away angrily. Jason stands up and snarls at Dick before storming off, pushing past Dick as he does so. 

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• ☾ ☼ ☽ •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

“I hope you’re wearing gloves with that, don’t want you to hurt your hands before you’ve even started fighting the guy,” I joke, slowly walking towards him in the training room. Dick turns towards me. His breathing is still fast and heavy. His forehead is beaded with sweat, making the strands of hair stick to it in the hottest way. He looks me up and down discreetly, his lips turning upward into a smirk before frowning again. Dick couldn’t let me know that he was infatuated with me. He knew if I got hurt that he’d only have himself to blame. Sometimes he thinks that if he can be as detached as possible, it wouldn’t hurt. Problem is, he already is. 

“If I wanted an audience, I would’ve asked,” he snarls; his voice raspy through his panting. 

“Not here to watch. I just came to see if you were alright,” my warmth seems to cause him to drop his guard a bit. His shoulders relax and both his fists and jaw begins to unclench. 

“You know, I’ve been quite impressed with you recently. I know coming here must be hard, but you really put the work in. I’d love for you to show me sometime,” Dick smirks. “But for now, I’ve gotta blow off some steam.”

“How about we fight each other. I could do with another practice round for today,” I suggest, hoping that he’ll oblige. Dick shrugs and nods for me to come closer. 

“Grab the sword,” he instructs, as he takes a wooden sword-like weapon. “Show me what you’ve got then.”

Bringing the sword up, I position myself in a fighting stance. I squint my eyes at him, waiting to see if he’ll make the first move. After a second later, I charge at him, kicking his sword before swinging my sword down to his legs. He catches it with his weapon, pushing back and blocking every move. I round-house kick his side, causing him to be caught off guard. With my sword still clenched tightly in my hand, I break his wooden weapon in two. 

“Smart move,” Dick smirks, cocking an eyebrow in astonishment. Swinging his, now two, weapons at me, I block every move. Finally, I corner him, holding my firm stance with my sword pressing under his chin.  

“So, really,” I pant. “Are you okay?”

“It was a hectic night,” he sighs. “I didn’t handle it so well.” 

“I’ve been there, it happens to the best of us,” I reply back, before being caught off guard by his arm knocking my sword out of my hand. In my quite pathetic attempt to punch him, he grabs my arm and flips me to the floor. Letting out a small grunt, Dick mumbles out a ‘sorry’. His arm extends out to help me up, but I pull him down, causing him to fall next to me. We both erupt in a fit of laughter before I kick his wooden sword out of the way. 

“Oh, we’re still going are we?” He snickers, trapping my body under his. Dick’s hands pin mine on each side of my head. He’s so close to me that I can feel his hot breath on my face and neck. 

“What’re you gonna do now, huh?” His voice low with anticipation. I didn’t answer. We stayed like that for a few seconds before his lips smash onto mine, catching me off guard for about the millionth time this night. My heart is beating so fast I’m sure he can feel it against him too. Flipping him over, I straddle his waist and take my shirt off, flinging it across the room. Leaning down again, I plant needy kisses on his neck, feeling his hands glide up my back. Tingles spread across my body as I felt Dick unclasp my bra. Items of our clothing were flung around the room in an attempt to rid them as fast as we could. We both need each other and we both know it. 

Dick kisses up my neck while I grind on his now uncovered cock, and a whine slips through his lips. 

“ride my face,” he instructs in a low growl. Crawling up his body, I begin to feel nervous as I straddle his face. But all those nerve seem to disappear the second he touches me. There is something about Dick’s touch that just makes me feel safe. His hands reach up and grip my hips, holding me down against his mouth. I grind my clit against his tongue, letting out quiet whines while my eyes roll back in pleasure. Dick’s tongue rapidly flicks at my clit and laps up each of my folds, completely immersing himself in the taste of me. 

“Fuck, oh my god,” I moan softly, trying hard not to be too loud. I feel his tongue tease around my entrance before pushing in only slightly. Dick’s hand slaps my ass, causing me to let out a little yelp. I giggle as I lean back and press my hands against his stomach to hold myself up better. His eyes connect to mine and a tingle can be felt in my stomach. I’ve never seen such passion in his eyes before. His eyes are usually hard and cold; the anger, hurt and burdens are carried in his eyes. But right here in this very moment, they’re different. Brighter, yet dark with want. 

“Dick, I’m gonna cum,” the faintest whimper slips through my lips as I feel his tongue give my clit more attention and rapidly flick against it again. My body shakes above him and I swear I can feel him smirking against me. A small squeal escapes my lips as I cum on his tongue, feeling nothing but absolute bliss. Dick laps up every last drop, wanting nothing more than to savour every bit of taste he could get. If that alone doesn’t say something about his need and want for me, than I could never know what does. 

Shuffling down to sit on his stomach, I lean down and kiss him, not caring if his mouth is covered in my wetness. 

“do you want me to ride you too?” I tease, reaching behind me to jerk him off slowly. 

“yes,” he breathes out, closing his eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling of my hand on him, before opening them back up again. I shuffle further down his body and line myself up. Dick’s hands snake down from my waist to my hips, giving them a gentle squeeze either as reassurance that everything here in this moment is okay, or as a reminder to himself that this might by the last time he’ll ever get to hold me like this. My hands rest themselves on his shoulders to balance myself. A groan passes through the both of us as I sink down onto him. 

I waste no time in slamming my hips into his. A smile creeps on my face as I watch his face contort with pleasure; the feeling of my pussy around his cock already has him at a loss for words. Leaning down, I press my lips against his. Almost immediately, dick wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me down further into him. It was like he was completely starved of all touch, and I were the only one to provide him with it. A giggle slips past me again as I sit back up against him. I rest my hands on his thighs, thrusting myself harder onto him. Dick sinks his teeth harshly on his bottom lip to suppress a moan, but fails. He lets out the most hottest sound I’ve ever heard; a mix between a moan and a grunt. Dick’s hands press into my hips again and grips it so tightly, I’m sure they’re gonna leave a bruise. I moan as he holds me down against him, feeling him thrust up into me roughly. 

“fuck,” I whimper, closing my eyes as he fucks me faster. Feeling myself lose balance, I lean forward and press my hands against his stomach, feeling his abs tense from the pleasure.

“are you gonna cum, babygirl?” Dick asks, his hand snaking around to my clit. I nod and bounce myself faster on his cock. Suddenly, everything just feels so intense I begin whining. Dick pulls me down and holds me against him while he thrusts up into me harder. 

“it’s okay, I got you. Let it go, baby,” he soothes, letting out a moan as he feels my walls pulse around his cock as I cum. Again, my body is almost convulsing above him from how strong and powerful the orgasm is; whines and moans are now uncontrollable, but neither of us cared. Dick came from just watching me cum, and his arms never left my body; just having me pressed against his chest, especially naked, is all he could ask for.

[maybe-theres-hope]

Tarlos Fic - Dinner Date

3.2k | T | Warnings: Blood, Injuries (mostly minor) | Contains: Judd/Carlos friendship, Tarlos being perfect, blue Camaro (rip)

Read on AO3

“So, what are your plans for the night?” Nancy asked as they exited the ambulance, their shift nearly over as long as the bell didn’t go off in the next ten minutes. 

TK smiled to himself for a moment before he spoke. “Well, Carlos is taking me to Jeffrey’s, so…”

“Holy mother,” Nancy breathed, looking at him with obvious envy. “Do you guys have a ten year anniversary or something coming up? Did he get some kind of commendation at work? Because I know your last one was like a month ago, so.”

“No, no anniversary, that’s in a couple of months. And its three years, Nance.” He chose to ignore her muttering about their mushiness ‘aging me ten years’. “And nothing from work that I know of. Maybe he just loves me?” TK couldn’t stop grinning while they stocked the bus and readied for the handover. 

“He loves you crap ton! Their wagyu strip steak is a hundred and twenty-five dollars!” Nancy had her phone out, obviously googling the menu. 

“Well at least we’ll save money on wine,” TK said with a chuckle.

“I’ve heard of the place by reputation but like, dude, who ever gets the chance to actually go there?”

“TK it seems,” Tommy cut in. “Why don’t you go on? We got it here and you’re gonna need at least an hour to pick out an outfit.”

“And gel your hair. You and your dad are way more alike than you want to admit,” Nancy added with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. You sure, Cap? I can stay and help?”

“I’m sure, kiddo. Go get dolled up for your man. Eat a few bites for us, yeah?” Tommy yelled at his retreating figure. She and Nancy looked at each other with grins as they caught the little skip in his step. 

“So, what do you think the occasion is?”

Tommy looked back at Nancy with a gleam in her eye. “I can wager a guess, but I don’t want to jinx it.” Nancy just gave her a look and went back to restocking.

--

Around 8 p.m., Owen was sitting in his office toying with his phone in his hand, smiling at his last text exchange. 

we’re just leaving the house now, wish me luck!

you’re not gonna need it, kid :)

“Not if I know my son anyway,” Owen said aloud to the empty room. He wondered if it’d happened yet. No incoherent string of emoji’s from TK yet, so he doubted it. 

He was shoving the phone back into his pocket with the bell went off. 

--

“Alright guys,” Owen said into the mic from the Captain’s chair. “Dispatch says three vehicles involved, two still on the road and one went over the side into the ravine. Police are on their way but we’ll probably beat ‘em there. Strickland, Marwani, soon as we get there I want you to harness up and get down in that ravine. Judd, you too. You’ll be in command down there and I’ll stay up top with the other two vehicles. Everybody else you’re with me, got it?”

A chorus of “Copy that, Cap,” and suddenly they were on the scene. 

--

“Marjan, Paul, we’re goin’ down!” Judd called to them as the rest of the crew went over to the silver Prius and black Mazda that were crumpled in the middle of the two-lane highway. Judd wasn’t a prayin’ man, but he sent up a little something to the man upstairs that this went their way. It looked bad. 

Paul arrived at his side first, strapped into his gear. “Marjan’s grabbing the bag from the truck, she’s coming.” 

“Alright. We’ll go down this way,” Judd said, pointing to a safe-ish stretch of hillside. “Can’t see the other car from here but dispatch said bystanders saw it go over. Probably just hidden in the trees.”

“Okay guys, let’s do this!” Marjan called, harnessed and carrying the medical bag and a backboard. “TK’s gonna be sad he missed this. Medical doesn’t get to harness up a lot and I know he loved it. He coulda helped.”

“Nah, he’s got better things tonight. Carlos was takin’ him to Jeffrey’s,” Paul said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“Ohh, fancy,” Marjan said with a smile. “What’s the occasion?”

They’d reached the bottom and were starting to look through the brush and low-hanging trees for a vehicle. 

“Don’t know,” Paul answered. “But I think Cap’s in on it somehow.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” Judd cut in as he whacked a few branches out of his way. “Carlos came by the station a few weeks ago, and they sat up in Cap’s office for an hour before he left grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet tater.” 

“I have no idea what that means,” Paul said with a laugh. 

“Hey guys, look!” Marjan called from a few yards to the left. The other two went to her position and saw what she’d found. A track in the underbrush where it had been torn at and flattened. “Think this is the place.”

“Let’s go,” said Judd. They followed the path through the brush for a couple of yards before they caught sight of it: taillights. “Alright, Marjan you go on the passenger side, I got the driver. Paul you see if you can clear some of that brush off the back in case the doors are jammed and we gotta get ‘em out that’a way.”

Visibility was still low despite the lights of the car and their flashlights, but as they approached they saw the car wrapped around the trunk of a tree on the passenger side. “I don’t know if I can get in there, Judd, but I’ll try,” Marjan said as she broke out into a jog.

“Wait!” Paul cried. Judd looked over at him, and he would have said such a thing couldn’t happen to a calm and collected person like Paul, but his face had gone ashen. “That’s Carlos’s car,” he said on a breath. 

“What?” In the dark, now that he was really looking, he could see they were coming up on—what used to be—a blue Camaro. 

“I’m sure of it. TK bullied him into putting that sticker on the back because he said it was too pristine and it needed personality.” He shone his flashlight at the rear bumper and sure enough, there was a SXSW sticker half ripped off from the path the car had taken to get there. 

“Come on,” Judd said, heart rate kicking up.

“Should we call Cap?” Paul asked.

“No, we stay down here and do our jobs, and he stays up there and does his. We’ll get ‘em.” His voice sounded numb even to his own ears, but he was determined. 

“They were on their way to dinner,” Paul said lowly.

“Yeah, probably takin’ the backroads to avoid traffic,” Judd said, shaking his head. Fate was hell sometimes.

When they reached the car, Marjan was yelling. “TK! TK can you hear me?” She turned to Judd. “I can’t get in there. The tree trunk is halfway into the car, probably pinning him to the console. He’s unresponsive.” Her face was also pale, but determined. 

Judd went to the driver’s side and saw Carlos, head hanging to the side facing the broken window. He tried the door as he called out. “Carlos? Hey Carlos, come on buddy. Can you hear me?” The door wouldn’t budge; Judd figured the car had rolled a couple of times coming down the hill, crumpling it like a tin can. Then he heard a soft groan.

He looked up, and one of Carlos’s eyes was trying to open. The other was swollen shut, where he’d probably hit his head on the steering wheel before the airbag deployed. Half his face had burn marks from it. 

“Hey, hey Carlos, look at me, that’s it.” That one eye tracked around before it landed on Judd, drawn to the light of the flashlight on his helmet. “Hey man. We’re gonna get you out okay? Now, can you move your fingers and toes for me?” Judd stuck his head into the window to see down in the floor boards. “Alright, likely no spinal damage. How’s your head?”

“Hurts. Shoulder, too.” His voice was barely audible. 

“Okay, it looks like you dislocated it,” Judd said as he prodded his left shoulder. “I don’t see anything broken but we’ll have to get you out to determine that.”

“TK—“ a wheeze, “TK…first. Been out…a while.”

Judd peered over to the passenger side, where TK was shoved almost fully into the center console, head laid back on the headrest and his face covered in blood. Marjan and Paul were still hard at work outside trying to clear a path into the car. 

“We can’t get to his side just yet, but we can get you out first and then we’ll be able to pull him out this way, okay? We wanna focus on you right now.”

“Alive.”

“Yeah, you’re alive, Carlos. You’re not gonna leave us yet,” he said as he assessed the door panels where they could cut through with the saws they brought. 

“No. TK. Weak, but…alive,” Carlos breathed out, coughing through the end.

“We’ll make sure he’s alive, okay?” Judd said, trying not to lose his professionalism at this whole messed up situation.

“He is.” Judd stopped looking around and looked back at Carlos. The man raised his right hand just as much as he was able, showing where he had two fingers on TK’s radial pulse. 

“Good, that’s good Carlos,” Judd assured him. That meant Carlos had had some minutes of consciousness after the accident before they showed up. “Was he talking at all? After you hit the tree?”

“Little. Minutes, maybe.”

“That’s good, that’ll help. Alright Carlos, we’re gonna get this door off so I’m gonna cover you with this while we do okay?” Judd waited for a small nod before he covered Carlos’s face and torso with his own turnout coat. 

After an agonizing four minutes, the door popped off in a shower of metal and broken glass. Judd removed the coat and went back in to assess. “Carlos? How you doin’?”

“Tired. But won’t…sleep. Promise. That’s bad.”

“You learn a few things from your Paramedic boyfriend?” Judd said with a watery smile.

“Mmm.”

“Judd, I got the back cleared. Maybe we can get in there to at least check TK’s vitals,” Paul informed them. 

“Get on it, I’ma try to get Carlos here out onto this backboard. Marjan, radio for another backboard and have two RA’s ready to go topside!”

“Copy that!” Judd had to admire those two. They never let their professionalism slip too far, though he could see they were worried sick. He could relate. He wouldn’t relax until both of the boys were back up the hill and on the way to the hospital.

From the looks of things, maybe not even then. But he had hope.

“Alright, Carlos, I’m gonna grab your legs and behind your shoulders here and pull you out, okay? It’s gonna hurt like hell, but it’ll be quick.”

“Wait.”

Judd stopped cold.

“Left…pocket. Please.”

“You want me to get at your left pocket?” A nod. “Alright, hang on.”

Judd carefully shifted Carlos’s leg so he could reach into his slacks, which had probably been part of a very nice suit at the beginning of the night. His fingers searched until they hit a small bump, an object no bigger than a baseball, soft velvet over a hard shell. He sucked his lips between his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as he pulled it free in his hand. 

“Keep it…safe…for me?”

Judd looked down at the little black box for a moment, then clutched it tight in his hand before transferring it one of the innermost pockets of his turnout. 

“Of course, man. I will guard this with my life.” He looked up and saw Marjan coming back with another backboard. “Alright, buddy. It’s go time.”

Carlos gave a weak nod and winced when Judd started to pull. 

--

“Welcome back, man. You had us worried there for a bit.”

Carlos opened his good eye to see Judd sitting at his bedside, smiling softly. It took a moment to remember where he was. Hospital. Accident. Tree.

“TK—“

“Is fine. Banged up and will need crutches for a few weeks, not to mention a killer headache with no meds, but he’s fine. All things considered.”

“Where is he?”

“On his way, so you just stay put, okay? You’re pretty banged up, too, ya’know.”

Carlos shifted a bit and winced. His left arm was in a sling, his head bandaged over his left eye, and his right side hurt like hell.

“Broken rib when the tree went into TK’s door, door went into TK, TK went into the console, then the console went into you. He’s got a femoral fracture in his right leg but like I said, all things considered, you’re both pretty well off for how far you fell and probably rolled.” 

“Yeah, he said his leg had gone numb but he could still move his toes. He made sense for about five minutes, then started talking all jumbled, then went quiet. I uh…freaked out a bit after that. I thought he had…” Carlos trailed off, looking haunted. 

“Yeah, and you kept your fingers on his pulse that whole time. What you were able to tell us at the scene helped us treat him. You did good, Carlos.”

“Not good enough to swerve in time,” he said.

“Not your fault. And don’t you dare go thinkin’ it is. I don’t wanna hear it, Carlos,” Judd said in what TK called his Dad Voice. Stern and no room for argument. Carlos just nodded. 

“And uh, hey. I been waitin’ to give this back to you.” Judd stood and walked over to the bed, holding out a tiny black box. Carlos took it and cradled it against his chest. “It better be a nice one, cuz I about had a heart attack while I was showerin’ thinkin’ someone was gonna come get my pile a’clothes and take ‘em to the laundry while I was gone.”

“You didn’t open it?”

“Nah, I figure the big reveal? TK deserves that all to himself.” 

“Owen’s seen it,” Carlos countered, smirking.

“Uh huh. He approve?”

Carlos laughed. “He whistled and said I spent too much.”

“To impress the Cap it must be a lot,” Judd said with a small whistle of his own.

“Well, what was it Michael Scott said? Three years’ salary?”

Judd’s eyes almost popped out of his head, and Carlos laughed harder before wincing again at his broken rib. “I’m kidding, Judd. But I can tell you, no matter the cost, TK deserves the best and that’s what I hope I got.”

“You gonna make another reservation? Soon as y’all get back into fightin’ shape?”

Carlos looked down at the box again for a moment, contemplating. “I…don’t think so.”

Judd had a confused expression on his face but at that moment, a nurse was wheeling TK into the room, followed by most of the 126. Carlos’s face lit up like starlight at the sight of him.

“Hey, babe,” TK said with a smile. His leg was in a full cast, so the nurse was careful in maneuvering him around to Carlos’s bedside. 

“Hey, I feel like you should be the one in bed! Why are you out and about?”

“Because you were still asleep and he’s an absolute menace. We made multiple apologies to the staff on his behalf for the last hour,” Owen said as he walked into the room behind his crew. “He’s a stubborn little shit. Always has been, always will be. You sure you’re up for that?” He asked knowingly. TK was still looking at Carlos, blushing at his dad’s ribbing. Carlos met his eyes and said, “Yes.” He blushed more. 

“In fact,” Carlos continued. “I’m ready to get started. I’ve waited too long anyway. I mean, how many times do you and I have to beat death before I get the nerve to do this?” He said, looking into TK’s beautiful eyes which were looking confused. 

“What are you talking about, babe?”

“Look, I’m sorry this didn’t go how I planned. And I’m sorry I can’t get down on one knee right now, but. I hope you love me enough not to mind.” He lifted his good arm, his hand holding out the box. “A little help, Judd?”

“It’d be an honor,” the man said before leaning in and opening the box, since Carlos only had one good arm. 

At the sight of the contents of the box, TK’s eyes went as big as saucers. Surprise was written clearly over every inch of his features, which were all still beautiful even scarred and stitched up as they were at the moment. God, Carlos loved this man so much. 

“Tyler Kennedy Strand, you are the love of my life. I tried so many different scenarios in my head of how this speech would go, before I just said screw it, I’ll speak from the heart. You’re kind, funny, sexy, sweet, and everything in between. You can’t boil water and you absolutely can’t properly separate laundry. I have a dozen pink shirts as proof of that.” At this, the gathered group chuckled and TK went bright red. “Ah, but you also know just how to ease the tension from a long day just by hugging me on the doorstep. And I can always count on you to be there for me when the world gets too much, when what we see out there creeps in too far. And I want you to know, that I want to be that for you too, for the rest of our lives. So, TK. Will you marry me?”

The room was silent, apart from the hum and beeps of the machines. Everyone on the edge of their proverbial seats, but no one having any doubt to the outcome. 

“Oh, my God! Of course I’ll marry you! Yes, yes! Yes!” The last was said through TK’s fingers covering his red face, hiding the few tears that had started to fall. He held out his left hand to Carlos, who Judd had kindly helped by removing the ring from its box and handing it back to him. He slid it over TK’s finger, smiling like an idiot the whole time, barely registering the whoops and hollers of the 126 throughout the room. 

He only had eyes for TK. 

“I love you,” TK breathed through his happy tears.

“I love you too, baby. Always.”

“Oh, my God, dude, were you seriously surprised?” Nancy asked incredulously once the commotion had died down.

“Well…yeah? I didn’t expect this at all,” TK said, looking sheepish. 

“TK…my dude…he was taking you to Jeffrey’s! How could you not know?”

Once again, the room erupted in laughter and TK ducked his head again. Carlos reached out and touched his chin, catching his eyes again.

There was nothing but love there. 

CLEARLY every Tarlos fic I write has to have a proposal in it *shrug emoji* 

Also I wrote this in like an hour after I had a dream so please excuse any typos I didn’t catch!

Please reblog if you liked it! I would really really appreciate it :) Thank you for reading!

[tainted-wine]

I hope you don’t mind this being exclusive for the Pro-Heroes!

(NSFW)

Papers? Check. Writing utensils? Check. Lube? Check.

You were primed and ready to begin this cocktastic journey. Completing this project will be a great benefit to Thirstology. You can’t believe that they put their trust in you to collect such valuable information from several willing participants. There’s no way you’re going to let the people at National Thirst Studies down.

With your lower body completely bare, you and your ambitious pussy set out to begin the cockwarming interviews.

Yagi Toshinori/All Might

Pre-Notes: The Symbol of Peace. It’s still surreal to see him in such a fragile state. Strangely enough, I never once asked myself: Does All Might fuck? “Obviously he was too pure for fucking,” is what I would have said before I devoted my life to Thirst Studies. But I have learned over the years that there is no such thing as purity.

------

After he got over the initial shock of you wearing no pants or underwear, you were finally able to begin your study and ask him the main question.

You barely dodged the spray of blood spewing out of his mouth. “Am I into what?” He sputtered.

“Cockwarming, sir. The act of settling a penis in a nice cozy orifice. There’s no movement, only penetration. Surely you already at least knew the definition when you agreed to this?” You offered him a paper towel, which he accepted with a choked “thank you.”

“Midnight told me this would be about intimate relationships,” he anxiously explained while wiping the red off of his lips. “But I wasn’t expecting to hear something that graphic.”

Ah, so he was talked into this. “Well, with your permission, I can give you a personal demonstration.”

His answer was inaudible the first time; you had to ask him to speak up in order to hear his adorably high “yes.” He was a lot shyer than you imagined. Poor guy was shaking like he was on a verge of a heart attack when you took his cock out and boy, did he put the ‘long’ in ‘schlong.’ But your mission wasn’t to admire the dick’s appearance, it was to learn how their owners used them inside a hot snatch. You climbed onto him and lowered yourself and ooooh shit, both of you were moaning as his inches sank into you. You couldn’t take it all, but it was more than enough to get the job done.

“Mmnngh, yes, very long. Pushing almost painfully,” You said through clenched teeth, scribbling in your notepad as you sat semi-comfortably in his lap. “Can you give me your input, Toshinori? How is this feeling for you?”

“Blrraaaffggg.”

“Toshi?”

“…”

He laid limp in the interview chair as crimson liquid continued to flow from his mouth. Well, this is troublesome. You’ll have to wait for him to regain consciousness to hear his feedback.

------

Conclusion: This was his first time experiencing cockwarming. He described it as ‘intense, but not unpleasant’. Unfortunately, whenever I ask for more details, he would get too embarrassed to share anything. Frankly, this isn’t the most fruitful start to my series of interviews, but it was a great privilege to meet the amazing All Might.

Shouta Aizawa/Eraserhead

Pre-Notes: I honestly don’t even know who the hell this is. An underground hero, apparently. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you that he brought a cat with him. I told him that it needs to stay outside during the interview, but the difficult bastard was ready to turn around and leave unless I allowed the furball in. What a hassle. Do I even want to sit on this man?

------

You’re thankful that you did, in fact, sit on this man. His sleek ebony cat was relaxing in your lap while your pink kitty was stuffed with his cock. Despite his indifference to the situation, it was strangely intimate. Taking notes over a cute feline while his length twitched inside you was rather challenging.

“You seem like a rather exhausted fellow. Is it maybe the laid-back nature of the act that you find so alluring?” You asked.

“Mmhmm.” His arms circled around you to stroke his adorable pet.

“Being able to just wind down by giving your hard snake a wet hot crib to rest in?”

“Mmmmm.”

“I would appreciate a more elaborate answer.”

“Mmmmm...”

You shifted just enough to turn your head and see Aizawa’s head lolled back, his breaths getting heavier after each exhale. You can feel him quickly going soft inside you.

Ugh...

------

Conclusion: Given that he fell asleep in the middle of the demonstration, it’s safe to say that he finds the act very relaxing. I can only make guesses because the moment he woke up, he hurried me off his lap, picked up his cat and headed out. I did my best to chase him and ask if I could at least hear his final thoughts, but that bastard leaps on cars and buildings as skillfully as Edgeshot.

Hizashi Yamada/Present Mic

Pre-Notes: I’m not sure what to expect from the Voice Hero. His radio show has hosted some surprisingly insightful interviews. Unlike the last two, he will hopefully have some truly constructive answers to give.

------

“Not gonna lie, I always wanted to try this!”

Both of you were red in the face as you sat on his throbbing cock. Despite the blush and slight shake in his voice, he was as cheerful as ever. “Sometimes I just wonder, it would be pretty cool to just have a hottie warmin’ me up during my show, ya dig? No sex, though. I know I’m not quiet enough to get away with that on the air!” He laughed loudly right into your ear.

Well that kinda hurt, but it’s nice to finally have a fully cooperative interviewee. You were actually able to ask all of your planned questions for once, and Hizashi gave a satisfying answer to each one.

Unfortunately, it just couldn’t go perfectly, and his phone ended up ringing near the end of the interview.

“Hold on, listener. I gotta take this.”

Did he really? You wished he would wait until you were done.

You felt him lean back as you remained on his lap. “Shouta, buddy! What’s goin’ on?”

Shouta? Does he mean...?

“Sorry about that! I’m not home yet, I’m doin’ a...special interview, with a hard-working thirstologist.” You heard the voice on the other end respond, and Hizashi made a noise of confusion. “Eh? What do you mean ‘you too?’”

Oh dear, he does. They actually know each other.

The conversation quickly transformed into an argument, a loud one. The two heroes apparently have some...tension between them.

“Oh, so I throw hints at you for years and you act as innocent as your cats, but you’ll sit down and let a girl hop on your dick during an interview?!”

You had to lift yourself off of his softening member and take shelter from his booming voice. He was tucking himself back into his pants with one hand as he marched out of the room, but his hurt and anger was still loud and clear. “Don’t give me that bull. I bet if I hit you with twenty one questions about cockwarming, you’d just pretend you’re asleep! Oh, you actually did fall asleep? Huh.”

You awkwardly collected your notes as the two gentlemen were seemingly making up.

“Damn right I’ve always felt this way. Oh man, you better get ready tonight because I’ve got over ten years of pent up feelings, and you’re gonna take it all.”

------

Conclusion: It feels good to have a full interview. In summary, Hizashi is intrigued by the combination of closeness and casualness of it all. His interest in cockwarming during his jobs also indicate a possible thrill out of doing it in public. In addition, I’d like to announce with some pride that I may have assisted in taking two friends to the next level of their relationship.

Hawks

Pre-Notes: I’m eager to hear what the handsome winged hero has to say. I wouldn’t mind if we just stare at each other throughout the entire interview. My lust for him is unbearably strong and I’m not sure why. It’s probably just the horny writer’s obvious bias towards this bird. She could use another hobby.

------

Hawks laughed once you gave him the question that officially begins the interview. “Gotta admit, I’ve actually never tried it.”

That’s a surprise that you quickly jot down in your notes. “I see. Is it something you’re interested in trying? I can give you a demonstration right here.”

“Oh? I’d love one.”

You try not to look too excited as you leave your seat and move to undo his pants, but Hawks raises a hand.

“But I want you to do it on your knees.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “My knees? How do I-”

“With your mouth.”

Oh my.

You granted his request and kneeled down to take his half-hard cock into your mouth.

“Ahhh, that’s nice.” He sighed loudly, spreading his legs more as he stared down at you.

You detached your mouth from him to speak. “Can you tell me what it is that you-mmffrrf.”

A hand pushed you back down onto his man meat. “No no no, just...stay right there. I’ll do the talking in a minute.”

You sat there with his cock growing in the heat of your mouth. Hawks’s eyes were closed, a small content smile on his face. Every time you lifted your head just an inch, the hand on your head pressed you back down. Just when this interview was starting to feel more like a hookup, he finally began to talk.

“Oh yeah, I’ve fantasized stuff like this. You got a shitty boss? I do, don’t tell them I said that, though. They’re always finding something to get on my ass about. Working me like a dog everyday, expecting me to pull off these insane missions flawlessly.”

All you could do was look up and listen to his rant. He must have loved the sight of you, going by the strong twitch of his length in your mouth.

“They just keep asking more and more from me. ‘Do this faster next time, Hawks!’ or ‘I know you’ve never done something like this before, but don’t fail us, Hawks!’ Sometimes I just wanna shove something in their mouths...like my dick. Can you relate?”

You shook your head as well as you could in your current position.

He shrugged. “Oh well. As far as I know, I’ll always be the one getting fucked by them. But something like this...” He pat your head. “Ah yeah, it would be so nice to see them like this...”

------

Conclusion: Hawks was sadly short on time and had to leave before I could even get into the questions. Going by the very personal feelings and frustrations he shared, Hawks enjoys the dominance displayed from cockwarming, and prefers it be done orally. I will respect his wishes and not reveal any of the opinions that he shared about the establishment he works for and its executives.

Taishiro Toyomitsu/Fat Gum

Pre-Notes: It’s best that I continue to be honest: I’m anxious. Fat Gum is one of the biggest heroes around, and I just know that there is a deadly pillar of pussy destruction in those pants. I know that I should be more concerned with the questions, but it just won’t leave my mind.

------

“So, what experience do you have with this, Toyomitsu?”

The large man chuckled. He was currently in his skinny form, which you’re pretty thankful for since his fat form would have been beyond awkward to straddle. That would be like trying to hump one of those giant inflatable characters at parades. “A pretty lady I knew was really into it! I tried it for her sake, but I’ll say this with no ego, my sausage ain’t something to be taken lightly! Still, she was determined, and I was really digging just how strong her will was to take me.”

‘She sounds like a very brave soul,‘ you thought as your pen glided across your paper.

“I couldn’t believe it when she managed to get all of me inside. She couldn’t either, because she passed out! At first I just wanted to laugh it off,” he cackled as if to give an example, but his face quickly drooped into a somber expression. “But then I realized she wasn’t breathing...” His eyes shut in pain and sorrow. “And I couldn’t find a pulse...”

You nearly dropped your pen in horror. “My goodness, Toyomitsu. I’m so sor-”

“I’m just messin’ with ya! She’s fine!” His face immediately brightened up again, leaving you shocked and somewhat upset over the scare. “But seriously, if you want a seat on this big boy, I hope you’ve got plenty of lube on hand.”

“Don’t worry, I do. More than enough for the biggest flesh towers.”

But your doubts instantly returned when the bulging monster was freed from his pants. It’s huge. Toshinori may have been long, but this monster was unbelievable in both length and girth.

Your fear must have been evident on your face, because Toyomitsu asked, “You sure you wanna do this? Don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

You whipped out your bottle of lube and drenched your hands. “Thirstology is my passion. My life’s work. I am more than willing to put my life on the line for science.”

The hero raised an eyebrow. “It’s...not that serious, but I really like your guts, missy.” He gave himself a few strokes. “So let me tear them up.”

Even with the coatings of lube inside your pussy and on his massive cock, this was still the most arduous task you have ever performed in your life. You didn’t know it was possible to be stretched this far. The light blonde was mesmerized by your trembles and scrunched expressions and as you tried to take more of him, his mouth slightly open when he noticed the swell in your lower abdomen.

“Oh, that is hot.”

------

Conclusion: I did it. I took the Fat Gun. Fat Gum himself takes a lot of pleasure in watching the strain of someone trying to take him in, and due to his partner often being much smaller than him, the tightness is very pleasurable to him. He was the only interviewee that actually came during the demonstration, so I suppose it’s safe to say that he is the biggest fan of cockwarming out of the five. He was very panicked when he came inside me, but I reassured him that I am on the pill. This is still a hell of a mess to clean up, however.

(I hope the information I have obtained will be useful for the institute. Thank you for giving me this opportunity)