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#this might be the healthiest relationship I've ever written
kneelingshadowsalome · 10 months
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A gentle reminder that I'm taking a break from answering asks & from writing overall, but I haven't abandoned my Christian Woman fic 🩷 The last 2 chapters are going through an editing process so please be patient, you won't be left high and dry with it :)
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bittencandy · 7 months
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𝔊𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔫-𝔈𝔶𝔢𝔡 𝔐𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯
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Summary: You broke up with your ex more than a couple of weeks ago, and you're desperate to try and move on. Though it's more than a little difficult to do when his face and likeness seems to be everywhere. Pictured on everything from billboards to cereal to . . . Pregnancy tests?
But maybe you won't have to move on after all.
Warnings: Mammon is a warning all on his own. 18+ content. Minors DNI! AFAB, Fem pronouns. Some unhealthy relationship dynamics (this is probably the healthiest I could realistically make Mammon), some fluff. Jealous Mammon: voyeurism (sex while on a phone call); degradation kink; mirror sex; D/S dynamics; clothed m, naked f; biting; a web as a collar; cockwarming; overstimulation; multiple orgasms; PinV; cream pie; blink and you'll miss it electro play; oral (M receiving); size kink, height difference, belly bulge; honestly, these tags make this sound a lot more intense than it is.
Notes: 26.3k words. Not proofread. Warning divider @cafekitsune. Probably one of the most self-indulgent pieces I've ever written. I have no idea what possessed me to write for this absolute garbage disposal of a man - entity? - but here we are. I've long since stopped trying to make excuses for this. It just is what it is. His sh*t personality and adorable face has captivated me.
It's not explicitly stated but the Reader is heavily implied to be a Succubus.
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This was absolute torture. Each day that has passed you by seemed to crawl through the hypothetical hourglass in a reluctant, slow drag, like the universe was intent on leaving you alone to drown in your thoughts; dark, isolating, hopeless thoughts that clung to you with long, cold claws. There was no reprieve. There hadn't been for weeks. And instead of healing and drawing to a close, it seems like that aching, lonely pit that's been sliced into the pulse of your chest has only grown wider, and now it feels as though it might swallow you whole with flaying, gnashing teeth.
And to make matters worse, it's your fault. You were the one who decided to break things off with him. You were the one who said that the relationship was hopeless. That it wasn't going anywhere and the both of you were just rushing towards an inevitable dead end that would just wound you both. You believed you were doing the right thing at the time. Saving you both from the heartache. You were just too different. You wanted for different things and the goals and ambitions that drive you were too polarizing for you to have a healthy, coexisting relationship. And on top of that, after Fizzarolli had ended their ten-year partnership, Mammon had been hellbent on getting you to spy on the jester. Trying to utilize your position within Ozzie's restaurant to dig up dirt on the pair. You had refused, but he just wouldn't stop asking. It was enough to put a strain on what you had. You were offended that he assumed that you would just carelessly throw your friendship with the King of Lust away. That you'd betray his trust. For a little while you had felt so confident and vindicated in your discission in leaving the King of Greed. But here and now, you can't help but to second guess yourself. And the ceaseless chatter of the that tiny voice in the back of your head keeps telling you that you've made a mistake - 
No. 
Nope. 
You were not going to let yourself go down that route. You did the right thing. You did what was best for yourself and sometimes the right thing hurts to do, but it will be all right. You'll survive. You just need time to move on that's all. And then you'll be able to get yourself together. Remind yourself of all of the experiences and people that you had missed out on since you've been in a relationship and then you'll be a brand-new person, prepared for life and all of its opportunities. 
But it was a bit difficult to move on when the person that you were trying to get over was literally plastered over every inch of Hell. Seven Rings and all, he had found a way to weasel himself into every facet of everyday life, to the point that it is actually insane. You're surprised that you had never noticed it before. But now, ever since the breakup, you've been horribly hyperaware of all of the ways that he has marketed himself across the city - even in a Ring that isn't his. Billboards, TV commercials, magazine covers, even on the plastic packaging for diapers - he hates kids! What does he know about diapers?!
You couldn't even go without seeing his face when you were paying for things. You had never wanted to set a bill of money on fire before, but the urge had become increasingly difficult to fight when you had offered to pay for dinner last week with your friends, and you been reminded of the fact that his likeness is featured on the banknote for a hundred souls. 
You couldn't even go the corner store to stock up on your depleted supply of alcohol without stumbling upon that wide, jagged grin. It was irritating. It made you feel nauseous and sick - mostly because whenever you saw that familiar sneer an array of lovesick butterflies burst inside of your stomach; always closely followed by an adoring, fuzzy warmth that sweeps across your spine and burns at your cheeks. It's disgusting. Obnoxious. And not even the sound of some other customer loudly coughing a few aisles across from you nor the repetitive buzz of the stark, pale florescent lights hanging from the ceiling above are enough to pull you out of those old feelings. They cling to you like a kind of residue. Sticky, thick and stubborn. And even worse is the fact that you find comfort in it. It's familiar. It's warm. And a part of you can't bear to part with it.   
Ugh, you're hopeless. 
You reach for the bottle you came for - Beelzejuice, which is admittedly too cloying of a drink for you. It could make you sick with its sweetness if you consumed too much, but it got you drunk fast, and as of right now that's all you wanted. You wanted to forget. Even if it was only temporary. But even with your chosen liquor in hand, your eyes keep straying over to the bottle with his face on it. Some cheap knock-off brand, it seems. A watered down and bland substitute, but it looks to be like it might be one of the most expensive beverages on the entire shelf, because why wouldn't it be? 
The portrait of his face on the label is a simple sketch, similar to the rudimentary doodle that he always adds next to his signature, but it's still enough to have your heartbeat skip wistfully. It's a familiar brand of alcohol. One that you had found in his liquor cabinet several times. A poor duplicate of one of Satan's brands of whiskey. You had never gotten around to trying it honestly, and you wouldn't be trying it tonight. Not even with his adorable face sketched out on the labe- 
You jerk away from the shelf with a colorful string of profanity huffed out underneath your breath, strained and exhausted. This entire situation has you run ragged. Tired with yourself and your feelings and your apparent inability to just. Move. On!
You outwardly groan, squeezing tight onto the neck of the bottle in your grip, swinging your head back on your shoulders. The glare of the lights above isn't even enough to stray you from your thoughts. And for a moment you just stare upward, ignoring the dull sting that the pale glint projects against your eyes while you rove them over the water damaged stains on the ceiling, pointlessly making shapes in the splotches. Trying to look for some kind of distraction, no matter how stupid it may be. But you can only quietly stand in the aisle for so long before you're kicked out for loitering. 
"Dammit," You swear, dropping your gaze back down again, vision skipping around the store, over the colorful array of saturated products and the few other people randomly scattered about the floor. It gives you pause when it lands on someone who's standing only a few feet away from you, in front of the shelving facing your back. But irritation flares when you notice that they're watching you with a somewhat animated expression. There's a smile quirking at the corners of his mouth and despite the friendly aura surrounding him, the weight of his eyes has your skin prickling uncomfortably. And even with you telling yourself to just shrug it off, to just ignore him and continue on with your night, you can't hold in your annoyance. 
"The hell are you looking at?" You snap, glaring with a snarl. 
The Imp blinks, shoulders drawing up tight like he's surprised, and the reaction just serves to irritate you even more. But before you can get another remark, another demon is breezing past you and joining his side with a sunny expression on their face. The guilt and humiliation that settles over you feels like a set of talons running down your back, and you immediately want to shrink into yourself and vanish. You can't fight off the cringe that sweeps over your body, and you struggle to give them an apologetic, strained smile, lifting the hand holding the bottle of mead up to give an awkward wave, and the alcohol inside sloshes around in a way that seems to hammer home your embarrassing predicament. 
He doesn't return the look, instead he's looping arms with his lover and leading them out of the aisle all together, but not without shooting you a wary glance over his shoulder and you hear him whisper lowly in their ear before they both disappear around the shelving: "Don't make eye contact with her. She might be a biter." 
You need to chill out. You're acting completely erratic, and towards people who don't deserve it. Complete strangers who were probably just here to pick up some junk food and a slurpy, and now they get to go home and talk about the crazy lady standing in the liquor aisle.  
It would be fine. Everything would be okay once you just get home. 
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Everything was indeed not fine. In fact, it might have been worse. 
It started out normal enough. You went about your regular routine. Or the routine that you had adopted these past few weeks anyways, which usually consisted of an occasional glass of alcohol and a bowl of ice cream, eating and drinking your feelings while you watched whatever mindless trashy show is currently playing on TV. You try to do some kind of selfcare. Anything to keep you from drowning and getting pulled down into the dredges of your pathetic longing and angst. Tonight, that meant painting your nails and applying a face mask that smelt of pineapples and nectar. And for a moment it was actually nice. It felt peaceful even. 
You had slid the glass door that led to your compact outside balcony open, letting in the distant lull of the traffic down below and the scent of the balmy night breeze inside your apartment. That was always a plus to the Lust Ring, that even with the heavy population and the smog of the bustling, neon city, the air here always seems to be a little perfumed, subtly sugared and almost a little heady. 
You were humming yourself, perched up on the soft cushioning of your couch, barely registering the angry shouting coming from the speakers of your television. It's probably just two of the ladies fighting again. Tension is going to be at an all-time high considering that Luz is getting married, and she didn't invite Opal to the wedding. Things were bound to get messy. But even with your interest piqued you could hardly get yourself to glance up from your work while you apply coats of a cheerful yellow nail polish to your toes. It wasn't your first choice, but you figured that it was a happy color. And you had hoped that maybe it would make you feel better. It didn't. You had decided halfway through that it was an awful decision. Whether it was because of the particular shade, you don't know, but you found yourself observing the polish underneath the warm glow of your lamp with a mild sense of regret. 
Oh, well, it's not like you can't change it. 
You lift your focus up from your feet that you had propped up against the lip of the coffee table, scanning the counter for the bottle of acetone, but you come up empty. There's nothing but your glass of mead and the half-melted bowl of cookies n' cream that you had forgotten most of the way into painting your nails. You could have sworn that you had grabbed it and a handful of cotton pads and swabs from your bathroom before you had started, but apparently you didn't.
And then - 
You hardly even make out the words, you just hear the voice. That horribly familiar voice, raised in that accented lilt. It has you perking up subconsciously. Your head jerks like it's being tugged on an invisible string, threatening to give you whip lash with your full attention zeroing in on the screen and your body twists in its hunched position to sit ramrod straight.  And for one fleeting moment, you hope that your ears are just playing a trick on you. That the universe was kind enough to give you a break within the comfort of your own home, but that small glimmer of optimism is quickly snuffed out like a weak flame when a blur of various shades of green streaks across the screen, accompanied by the jingling of bells and coins. And then there he is. 
Ruining the most recent episode of the Housewives of Sin City. 
This absolute hell. Well, yeah it is literally. But figuratively as well. 
What is he even doing on this show? You can't recall him mentioning to have an interest in it or any of the stars a single time that you had been together. Except for maybe that one time he had found you watching it, and he had casually asked you about one of the wives who had been in the throes of an enraged outburst, while shoving a handful of chips into his mouth, speaking around the mouthful: "What's wrong with that skank? She on the rag or something?" 
But now, he's apparently a guest at Luz's wedding. How that's even possibly - why that's even possible doesn't add up. And the shock and irritation running throughout your body like an electrical current has twisted up the features of your face, causing the moisturizing mask placed over your skin to lose its grip, suddenly peeling itself from its hold to fall onto the carpet in a flat flop near your feet. 
You don't even give it any mind. Instead, you're looking for an outlet, blindly reaching for the nearest object to throw and your hand snatches up an old Loo Loo Land apple plushie next to you on the couch for you to hurtle at the screen. It makes impact with a pitiful squeak before plopping on the floor and the TV doesn't so much as rattle from the hit, which is honestly a blessing as much as you'd love to see the glass projecting the image of his grinning face to crack and split down the middle. But you can hardly find it in yourself to be thankful for that little fact. You're annoyed and angry and hurt. 
Actually seeing him in motion and not in the form of pictures or drawings is just picking at that fresh wound that's still openly bleeding. And suddenly, those three long years of being at his side have never felt so far and yet so close: looming and almost painful. You lurch for your phone, scooping it off of the table to fervently scroll through your contacts. You briefly pause on Fizz's name, and for a second you consider calling him. He would understand. He would sympathize with what it's like to struggle with learning to let go of Mammon's influence and figuring out how to move on. But that wouldn't be fair. Not to him. Not after he's just recently cut ties with the King of Greed, and officially dropped the Sin as his mentor. It would be opening up a cut that he's still beginning to heal. 
It has you scrolling your thumb down a little bit further until you find Lottie's number and you press it without much thought, other than the fleeting wish that you weren't interrupting her. She should be free from her shift at the firm by now; it's late enough. But with each trill of the phones ringback tone you get a little more unsure, and the sinking feeling that she's busy, that you've disturbed her nearly has you ending the call. The image of her caller ID posted in the background doesn't help either.
You know that she won't be angry about you contacting her. She's actually been pretty insistent that you do just that if you ever begin to feel overwhelmed or upset, but suddenly the sight of her joyful, beaming face doesn't seem so jovial anymore, and the scarlet glint of her eyes seems accusing and harsh. It's enough to have you second guessing yourself, but just as you're about to press on the red button on your screen, she answers. 
The comfort that floods over you lifts from your body like a sack full of bricks and you breathe an audible sigh of relief when you set the call to an open speaker. "I think I'm going crazy," you blurt. You almost wince at the lack of tact, but you can't help it with all of the emotions and stress rising to the surface, forcing all of your worries to spill out of you like a flooding geyser. "Everywhere I look, he's there! How am I supposed to move on when he's shoved in my face every second of the day? I went to the store a few hours ago, and he was all over the place; on cereal boxes and chip bags and fucking laxatives-" 
"Okay, okay, okay, " her voice soothes firmly, successfully grabbing you attention enough to get you to just stop talking. "Listen. I really don't think that you're giving yourself enough time to move on from this. I mean, it's been what? Maybe just a little over a month?" 
"Yeah, " you nod dejectedly, scooping up some of your liquified ice cream on to the spoon to drink. "Just about three weeks." 
She hums lowly. "So, you two were together - surprisingly - for a few years. All of those feelings aren't just going to dry up overnight, babe." 
"Ugh, I know!" You whine in an elongated groan, dropping the spoon back into the ceramic bowl with a noisy clatter. You tighten the grip that you have on your phone so that it doesn't go flying out of your hand when you let yourself fall face first into the couch cushions, not caring if it stunts your breathing and when you speak next your voice is slightly muffled. "It's just so frustrating. I don't know what's holding me back. I mean, I really don't even know what I had ever seen in him in the first place." 
You hear her scoff on the other end and there's a clipped humorless laugh tainting the sound. "His money? Well, no he's too cheap to even spend it - whatever. Either way, I'm glad you finally woke up to his bullshit. The guy's a total sleaze." 
The comment makes you bristle despite your pervious statement, but you can only manage a grunt in response, tired and low while you turn your head, moving from the press of the cushions to finally allow yourself to breathe properly without inhaling the bits of perfume and dust that have undoubtedly gotten caught within the velvet fabric. You've heard all of the confused whispers and frustrated remarks for years. From Lottie and Ozzie and many of the other performers and staff at the restaurant, none of them were shy in voicing their bewilderment over your relationship with the Sin of Greed. They weren't looking down at you per se. You could tell that the side eyed glances and chatter all came from a place of good will and genuine concern - "He just isn't a good person, darling." Asmodeus had told you once. "I know him better than just about anyone and believe me when I tell you that he'll chew you up for all your worth and spit you out when he's finished licking up the bones. You deserve better." - but they still frustrated you. 
In the past you had told yourself that they just didn't understand him like you did. That underneath all of the selfishness and confetti and snark that there was something that cared. What a complete blind, fool you had been. 
Your eyes land on the TV screen, letting you defeatedly take in the sight of him on stage, guitar in his hands while he belts out one of his songs on an exuberantly decorated stage with champagne colored streamers and the glimmer of coins (fake of course, he'd never use the real thing out of the risk of other demons scooping the change off the floor and stealing it) falling around him, and a row of golden cannons shoot off explosions of sparkling fire and pyrotechnics. He's no doubt eclipsing the wedding ceremony with the act but knowing him that was entirely the point. 
So he's there as the part of the entertainment then. He's got to be charging them out the ass for this performance. 
You let yourself admire him, sweeping over the neon green of his eyes and the round shape of his face. You could almost feel the cool sensation of his cheeks against your palms. He's always ran a little on the colder side; a little chilled to the touch no matter how heated the atmosphere around him may be. But you had never minded. And you find yourself longing to brush your thumbs along his skin, to feel the weight of his face underneath your fingertips like you've done at least a thousand times. 
"He is still a little cute," you remark, melancholic but a little loving too. 
Lottie sighs on the other end, ragged and weary but then her breath snags and a small bout of silence hangs over you both. "Is that - is that him singing? Are you watching him?" She accuses, tone saturated in disbelief. She makes you feel like you're being berated by your mother. Like you're a child being caught doing something that you shouldn't have, and it has shame stinging at your cheeks. 
"I was watching my show," you defend yourself, eyebrow furrowing as you observe him break into the songs verse. "And then he decided to show up." 
"Oh, for fucks sake," she grouses. You can tell that she's shaking her head on the other end. Probably pacing, too. "All right, we're going to do something about this." 
That both intrigues and concerns you and you perk up just a little bit. "Do 'what' exactly?" 
She doesn't immediately answer and that sets you on edge. You can still hear her shuffling around on the opposite line and it has tension setting in your muscles while your brain tries to scramble around for whatever  it is that she's trying to plan or set up, but your mind keeps coming up frustratingly empty. "Seriously, what are you doing?" 
"I . . . " she begins a little distractedly. "Am setting you up on a date." 
It feels like a bullet has fired your heart out from your chest in sharp burst and the shock is enough to have you clambering up from your flopped over position to glare down at your phone. You can taste the adrenaline on your tongue like something acrid. For a moment you can hardly get the jumbled words out from your throat, and you're left sitting frozen with your mouth hanging open dumbly. " You . . . Wh - " Your eyebrows pinch close. "You what?  With who?" 
"Do you remember that coworker that I told you about? The hot paralegal?" 
You hum to yourself, trying to jog the memory free but nothing familiar rises up to greet you. "No," you answer bluntly, picking at a loose thread from the couch cushion. 
The admittance doesn't seem to dampen her excitement in the slightest. "Well, he's nice and Sherry said that he has a massive dic - "
"Okay, I get it!" You say quickly. 
"And I think this will be good for you," she says, tone dipping into something gentle and soothing. "I mean, I know I said to take time to move past this, but maybe you could use this as a reason to get out. To take your mind off of things - it won't be anything serious! Just a . . . distraction." 
Your lips purse and you can feel a refusal rising up from your lungs, but then your eyes are drifting back over to the TV. The bitter taste of disappointment hits you like a mouthful of lime juice when you see that he's been replaced on screen with one of the wives during a confessional scene, and it serves as a harsh reminder of how pitifully stuck on him you are. Sure, you know that you only need a little bit of time to completely move on, but Lottie's right. Maybe a harmless little date wouldn't hurt. Maybe it would be enough to finally help you to pry those bits of affection and devotion from him and take back your life. "Okay, " you relent wearily. 
She exclaims in a burst of excitement, and a part of you loathes how happy she sounds while you're currently stewing in your own misery. "Great! I already texted him about it, but I'll send you his number." 
You hum to let her know that she's been heard, a little absentminded while you continue to stare at the screen with some piteous part of you waiting for him to pop back up on the TV. The phone call drifts from there, directing back over to Lottie's day. A nice reprieve from thinking about your own, but as selfish as it is, it's hard to try and pay her words any attention while you're buried under your own emotions. You can't help but be a little bit thankful when she has to end the call, having to turn in for the night in the preparation of some early meeting in the morning. 
It leaves you to just sit in silence, with your bowl of melted ice cream propped in your lap while you mindlessly watch TV, seeing the content flit across the screen but not registering it. You had made yourself change the channel about fifteen minutes ago, even when your thumb had stubbornly hovered over the controls of the remote while your subconscious waited for that familiar grin to show back up on the screen. And that fleeting little thought had been enough to get you to mash down on the channel button until you landed on an entirely random program. Some renovation show, about taking homes from demons struggling against foreclosure to remodel the seized properties into luxury houses for reselling to the wealthy and famous. 
A lot of the designs were just beyond absurd. Like the bathroom with a mini golf course built into the flooring or the laser tag arena that was merged with a sex dungeon. It was an odd union of hobby and . . . necessity?
And that's where you stayed for an indiscernible amount of time without moving apart from a small shuffle to readjust; you had long since forgotten your intention to remove the yellow polish from your nails. You were steadily nursing on your glass of Beelzejuice, fighting off the slight wince on your face whenever you took a sip. Between the saccharine, syrupy flavor and the burn of the alcohol whenever you swallowed it down, you were hitting close to your limit for the night. Fortunately, a nice, relaxed haze was already settling over you and fizzling at your limbs and fingertips. And for a few blissful moments, you didn't have any clamoring, distracting thoughts or feelings welling up and threatening to stretch you thin. It felt like peace. 
You had texted the number that Lottie had sent you a little while ago - Hugo, it seemed his name was - just to try and make an effort, even if it was a reluctant one. It was just a quick hello, nothing much more than that, and you hadn't built up the courage to check and see if he had responded to you. It was so odd. The entire situation and you hate how much you feel guilty about accepting an invitation for the date. It had some acidic, nasty sensation bubbling in the pit of your chest; sharp and cold, but luckily the potency of the alcohol was enough to distract you. 
Not for long though, because the show is switching to a commercial break and once again the familiar sight of a layered, pointed clown costume drops across the screen, encapsulated around the looming shape a figure that you know all too well. His voice is raised, meant to grab the viewers' attention easily as he breaks into a pitch meant to entice the watcher into buying his newly manufactured sex robots, modeled after a pair of twins from the Envy Ring.  
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Your entire body seems to sag, weighed down with defeat, and you swear you can feel tears prickling at your waterline as he leans closer towards the camera, twirling his staff with one of his upmost hands. And for a while you don't even hear what he's saying. You're too busy being forced to watch him while he cavorts around a simple, plum purple background with a pair of robots obediently stationed behind him. And it isn't until he reaches for the both of them and presses them both up against his sides with a somewhat provocative grin stretched over his face that your mind seems to focus, and his indistinct salesman speech becomes fully audible.  
" - each sold separately! But if you purchase the both of them in a package deal, then you'll have double the fun for the low, low price of two thousand, six hundred and ninety dollars - not including tax! C'mon! Don't be a cheapskate - " He leans forward, eyes narrowing while his voice subtly shifts a few octaves lower in a threatening rumble - "you better get 'em both, you sick fuck! Ya know you want to!" 
Your hand seems to raise on its own, gripping onto the remote and smashing down on the power button, causing the screen to go black, saving yourself and your sanity from having to look at him for a second longer. 
It's safe to say that sleep didn't come easily that night. You had tossed and turned for hours on end, and it wasn't until the dawn was rising in the horizon in a blossom of pale lavender and peach hue that you were able to pass out from pure exhaustion. The next few days continued as they usually do with preforming down at the restaurant and going out for drinks with your coworkers afterwards. You had begun to text Hugo within that time, and you felt a bit of consolation to know that he too wasn't looking for anything particularly serious, having been out of the dating game for a few years after spending his focus on furthering himself in his field of work. The both of you had unanimously agreed that whatever was going to take place between you would be entirely casual. It was after two days of speaking that he had asked to take you out for dinner, and with Lottie's words echoing loudly inside your head, you had agreed. 
It wasn't until you were getting ready that night that your reality had officially sunk in. That you're actually going to go out on a date with a man that you hardly even knew. After three years of remaining in a relationship it felt like such a strange concept. You had never imagined yourself with any other person but Mammon. And now here you were, rummaging around in your closest for something to wear. Shoving through the mountain made of Thing plushies and all of the other miscellaneous trinkets that he had sent you once he had realized that you were indeed serious about ending the relationship, just to try and get to the clothes hanging from the closet rod. 
You had thrown most of his little 'peace offerings' away at first, but after the fourth day of having to carry the armfuls of Mammon plushies and oddly enough, Loo Loo Land novelty cups (you're fairly sure that he was just sending you stuff that he had found in inventory) down to the garbage hatch down the hallway, you had just begun to shove it all into your closet instead. The questioning stares from your neighbors had always felt too invasive whenever they'd watch you slip down the corridor with his pathetic attempts at bribing you back into a relationship clutched to your chest in the shape of stupid toys and knickknacks.
You actually manage a smile when you successfully tug the hanger holding your chosen dress free from the confines of the closet, but you don't even bother trying to fight against the scattered collection of plushies by attempting to close the door to your closet. Not with the way that they've tumbled out from the confines of the snug little alcove and onto the floor. It would be a losing battle, and you don't have time for that with the clock steadily ticking. You were quick to rush off to the bathroom, taking care to spend time on styling your hair as best as you could and making yourself presentable, spraying on a few puffs of perfume across your body. 
You had been fine throughout the entire process. The nervousness settling in your gut had been noticeable but manageable. It was faint enough to keep your mind off of it, to push it down and ignore. It wasn't until you were actually at the decided upon restaurant and sitting across from Hugo at a candle lit table for two that the restlessness and hesitancy become unavoidable. And you had long since forgotten your food, far too nervous to eat. It had you trying to distract yourself from the wild thrum of your heart beating in your chest by looking around the dining room, admiring the pale, iridescent shimmer of the dramatic crystal chandeliers hanging above the array of tables and the large, carved marble statues placed along the circumference of the great the walls. 
"Are you all right?" Hugo suddenly asks, breaking from your trance. Your attention snaps over to him, making the jewelry hanging from your earlobes jingle. 
"Yeah, of course," you reassure quickly, playing with the stem of your wine glass somewhat distractedly. "I'm just getting reused to this sort of thing. It's been a while since I've been on a date with someone new." 
He smiles, nodding in understanding way while he prods at his food. "Well, we're both in the same boat in that regard." The burgundy shade of his irises shimmer underneath the gentle glow of the candles flame. "It's no pressure, remember? This is purely casual." 
It has you breathing a visible sigh of relief, and the entirety of your body relaxes while you let yourself rest your weight on the table with your elbows. It was something that he has told you before, but it was nice to hear it in the moment, face to face. Hugo moves a bit closer, and the motion looks a little awkward. A little unsure, and as bad as it may sound, it was almost pleasant to see that he too is removed from his comfort zone. That you're not the only one that's entirely out of their depth. 
"I hope that this isn't too forward, but why did you agree to even do this?" He asks. "It's just, from how Lottie described it, it was all sport of sudden." 
The question gives you pause, as straight forward as it is and for a moment you find yourself without a proper response. He did say that this entire outing was casual, no strings attached. But even then, it isn't exactly appropriate to say that you were just trying to get out of the house because you were going clinically insane; that you're out here on your night off, drinking wine that's entirely too expensive because everywhere you look, you see your ex's face and it's been wearing down on your resolve little by little like pressure on a weak, torn rope. Sure, you have the potential to be an asshole, but even that feels a little insensitive. 
You had told him that you had just recently gotten out of a relationship, but he has no clue just how fresh the separation actually is. And you have no idea what Lottie may have said to him, but as of right now you'd like to try and keep your personal business to a minimum if at all possible. Satan forbid you accidentally mention just who you ex is. That last thing you need to deal with is him getting intimidated and running off because you used to have tied with the incarnation of Greed. 
"Honestly?" You say, absentmindedly tapping your nails along the stem of your glass with a soft shrug. "As superficial as it is, Lottie said that she knew about a hot guy that was single and looking for a night out. I agreed." 
He chuckles at that, playing coy but you notice the subtle way that he preens under the casual compliment. The hint of a smile curling at the corners of his lips, and the slight spike of lust that trickles across the air. It's low, a blink and you'll miss it scent; heady and a little warm, and the faint thrum of it nudges against your body like a hesitant touch before it vanishes. But despite your instinct to chase after that minute pulse of desire and cultivate it into something more, you find yourself completely uninspired to do just that. As dejected and disappointed as it makes you in yourself, you'd honestly rather spend the remainder of your evening catching up on your TV shows than wasting it between the sheets with him. But then again, that doesn't have to be the point of tonight. Tonight, you're just here to get out. To remind yourself of what's out there. You have to try. 
"Was she right?" He speaks suddenly just as your taking a sip from of your wine, leaving you to tilt your head curiously with an intrigued hum. "Am I hot?" 
You lower your glass, drinking the swig down and you make a show of eyeing him while you debate on how you really want this night to go. This could be a simple time out on the town, or you could truly try to go down the opposite route and wind up in some trashy No-Tell-Motel a few blocks down the strip. He seems receptive enough. In fact, despite his earlier statements, you're more than sure that he wouldn't be opposed to a little harmless fling. And maybe it would help you forget Mammon, even if just for a little while. But is that really what you want though . . ?
"Hmm, ask me later tonight," is all you say, smirking softly, and there it is again. That dim heated little pulse that leaves him and threads across the atmosphere. It should be enough to interest that deep, primal part of your psyche, but there's absolutely nothing. 
"So, what did your ex do, if you don't mind my asking, " he says, and you struggle to keep the smile on your face present at the mention of Mammon. " Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out what kind of expectations I'm supposed to be meeting." 
Well, that shouldn't be all that difficult to surpass. Not with how self-absorbed and oblivious Mammon has always been. And truthfully, Hugo was attractive - or hot, as Lottie had promised. Sure, you had seen pictures of him with all of the texting that the both of you had done but seeing him in person was somehow all the better. It was easy to see that he takes care of himself. His eyes are gorgeous, sharp and expressive and the suit that he wears is no doubt expensive. And with how considerate and patient that he had been with you throughout your entire time together, he didn't have much to worry about in terms of acceding past the standard that Mammon had set. 
"He was . . . " You wrack your mind for a way to delicately leave out the hints that your ex just so happens to be the King of Greed. You really won't be able to handle the entire slew of questions that would no doubt come from that little nugget of information. " A performer . . . " You settle with a squint. "And a businessman of sorts. " 
"Oh, yeah? Is it possible that he's been in anything that I've seen before?" He questions conversationally. 
Yes. It's very, very possible. "No," you shake your head with what you hope is a neutral expression on your face. "I doubt it." 
You take a quick sip of your wine, desperate for some sort of liquid courage to dull the low turning of your stomach. He hums softly, letting you know that he's heard you and pats his mouth clean for any traces of food. 
"So, did you work together then?" He tilts his head in a curious kind of way, and the inquiry has your eyebrows furrowing incredulously, prompting him to clarify. "You said he was a performer. You work at Ozzie's, right?"
"Uh, yeah," you admit. "But no. He's business partners with my boss, so he pops in for meetings every now and again. That's how we met." You clear your throat, shifting in your seat to try and regain a sense of comfortability. The memory always leaves you feeling a bit confused. A little torn and stretched between contrast of a fond sense of love and nostalgia but reversibly the bitter sting of loathing and regret. It leaves you a jumbled mess. Stuck because you can't help but wonder just what you had ever seen in Mammon, but it's even worse because all those affections still haven't fully waned. Even before you had fully become acquainted with the Sin of Greed there'd always been that odd sort of intrigue that would pull at you whenever he had arrived at Ozzie's for a meeting; typically, a discussion over the production of Fizzbot's much to Asmodeus' chagrin. 
Your boss was never enthused over Mammon's presence in his restaurant, mostly because the Sin would always try to scout new talent to exploit in the shape of Ozzie's employees whenever he was present (not to mention that massive tab that he had racked up at the bar and the kitchen that he always manages to weasel out of paying). And you had been one of those employees yourself. You had been pulled over by the King of Greed one night after your routine, and he had shamelessly tried persuading you in becoming one of his performers directly in front of Ozzie, offering you fame and money and fans beyond your wildest fantasies. Naturally, you had declined the proposal. 
The refusal had visibly rubbed him the wrong way, with him no doubt taking it as blow to his pride and his image, but he hadn't let it stop him. Every time that he came in for that monthly meeting, he'd make sure to pop the question, and you'd gently let him down each time. But for whatever reason, his persistence never bothered you. It was almost fun in fact, like a game of cat and mouse. It was entertaining, in a strange sort of way, like the both of you were waiting each other out to see who'd crack first. You actually enjoyed his company. He was brash, garish and vulgar. The jokes that he made were always at another expense and he was insensitive to the point it was concerning, but for some reason you found yourself inexplicably drawn to him. He made you laugh; he let you be yourself, and the both of you could spend hours gossiping amongst yourselves and trashing other demons, laughing at their misfortune and mistakes. Was it rude? Absolutely. But with him, that was perfectly fine. He was a complete douche (still is) but he had never really flirted with you, he'd never given much of an indication that he was interested in you in a sexual nature, apart from admiring your talents on the stage it was a nice break from all of the constant salivating customers that would clamor up against the edge of the platform and ogle you throughout your shift. It was nice just having a conversation with someone who wasn't expecting or wishing to get some cheap blowjob backstage. Ironically enough, one of the most exploitative beings in all of the seven circles of Hell managed to make you feel the most normal. Like you were more than just your basest functions, more than lust and a performer.  
It had been Asmodeus who had recognized when your intrigue in the Sin of Greed had melted past an amused kind of fascination and into endearment and desire. He had seen the shift in your emotions long before you had, and you had vehemently shrugged off his gentle accusations for months on end. Insisting that he was reading into the weird type of kinship that you had fashioned Mammon all wrong. You had insisted that you were just friends. You just found him interesting, that's all. 
But unfortunately, Ozzie had been right. 
"Is it okay if we change topics?" You ask suddenly, desperate to get out of your head. To quit reliving old, painful memories. " It's just - talking about my ex, you know?" 
Something sheepish and a little ashamed flits across his face and he's immediately apologizing. "Oh, I'm sorry. That was a little insensitive of me." 
"It's okay," you say truthfully, shrugging with a soft smile. "So, do you have any kind of hobbies?" 
The conversation diverges for there - thankfully, carrying on while you both try to learn about each other. It leads you to discover that Hugo has a multitude of talents, such as being able to play several kinds of musical instruments and he has a proclivity for painting and a fondness for cooking that was cultivated by his grandfather. He was quick to offer to teach you how to make a dish from the Wrath Ring for your next date, after he learned that you aren't all the adept at the culinary arts, mostly due to the lack of interest. 
He's undeniably a sweet guy. He seems to be generous and easy going, but despite all of that you still can't hide from that sharp, nagging feeling that's been picking at you the entire night. The realization that there just isn't much of spark regardless of how charming and gentle he seems to be. And although conversing with him is easy, nice even, to a degree it feels like talking with a coworker or a catching up with a friend. But maybe the lack of attraction wasn't the only thing to blame. The entire night there's been this harsh, laughable sense of guilt and betrayal brewing inside of you, almost like you being on this date with Hugo is somehow cheating. But that's entirely stupid. Not to mention that it doesn't make any sense. Those bitter emotions shouldn't have any footing because you and Mammon aren't a couple anymore, but it's almost like your feelings and heart haven't accepted that yet. 
And it leaves you admittedly a little distracted, until you're just mindlessly nodding and laughing whenever it's the appropriate response. Eventually you're just sleepwalking throughout the entire dinner; your body is present, but your mind definitely isn't. Suddenly it's hard to keep yourself in place and your eyes start shifting around the dinning room like you're in search of an exit. This is too much too soon. You shouldn't have agreed to this. You shouldn't be here.
And in your internal panicking you couldn't keep yourself from covertly slipping your hand into your purse hanging from the back of your chair to retrieve your phone while Hugo isn't looking, too busy animatedly scanning his eyes around the room while he's reminiscing about some past vacation on an island resort in Envy. The sting of guilt makes you slightly shuffle in your seat like you might be able to shake the feeling free, but it doesn't keep you from hiding your phone underneath the table in the clasp of your hand while you tap the messaging app and search for Lottie's name. Maybe if you were able to explain yourself to her, she'd help to bail you out. Maybe you could get her to give you a fake call and come up with an excuse- 
You freeze, focus landing on the name posted directly underneath hers.
Moo💚
It's such a dumb nickname, and honestly aren't even sure where it had come from. You had just started using it one day, and you stuck with it because even when Mammon would grumble under his breath and roll his eyes like every utterance of the pet name costed a year of his immortal life, you would always see that monochrome blush tinting his cheeks at the sound of it. He'd get offended if you addressed him as anything else; one morning when your brain was still sluggish and dulled by the cloud of sleep, you had called him 'Mammon' and he had elected to give you the silent treatment until you were finally able to figure out just what exactly you had done wrong. And it would make your chest turn fuzzy and soft whenever you'd see the reaction that it garnered from him, full of devotion and affection. 
And now the simple nickname, something you had felt nothing but fondness for, feels like it's mocking you. Dangling something in front of your face that you'll never get to have again. You can't help yourself when you press on the contact's name, opening up your messages. It's like your heart is in your throat, heavy and trembling and threatening to suffocate you, and it takes every ounce of your frayed sense of will to keep your from reading the text thread. You could remember the last couple of messages that he had sent without looking over them. The last of them asking for you to 'come to your senses' and return back to one of his penthouses in Greed and when you refused the text had turned egotistical and indifferent, with him claiming that he didn't need you. That he'd do just fine without you. 
And just like that your will snaps. 
x/x/xx 12:43 am 
fine go ahead i dont even nrrd u 
x/x/xx 12:43 am 
duck 
x/x/xx 12:44 am 
*FUCK
x/x/xx 12:44 am 
*NEED 
x/x/xx 12:44 am 
go crawl to ozz for all i care 
Those simple set of words feel like a knife to the chest; sharp and slicing and you feel those pitiful emotions rising up again, threatening to spill over in the form of tears. You don't know what causes it. If it's the sudden call of Hugo's voice, laced with concern and curiosity as he asks if you're okay, or if it's the slight tremor in your fingers that makes your thumb twitch and press the image of the call button in the corner of the screen above your messages, but when it happens your stomach feels like it falls through your ass. You visibly lurch when his caller ID pops up with an in-progress call and you audibly gasp ragged and a horrified as you slam your finger on the end call button so harshly that it's a wonder that you didn't damage your phone. 
Your entire body is pulled taunt like you've been struck by a live wire, and you're sure that Hugo is more than confused because you must look as though someone has a gun pressed to the back of your head. 
"Are you all right?" He repeats, leaning forward over the table to make eye contact with you. 
It does enough to let you regain some control of your body, letting you pull a tight, unconvincing smile across your lips as you nod. "Yeah. I'm fine." You say, more so to yourself than to him. Honestly, you're being a little dramatic. The connection - if it could even be considered as one - couldn't have lasted for more than a split second. He probably won't even notice the missed call. More accurately, he most likely has your number blocked. You're blowing this entirely out of proportion. You're good. Everything is all right. 
"I'm fine," you reiterate and luckily, you're able to make your expression a little bit more convincing. 
It's fine. 
The air prickles. It shifts and thrums like it's being charged by an oncoming lightning strike, and you can feel your body respond to it. Your back goes straight from the sensation of something hot and buzzing shooting down the notches of your spine while your heart flutters from anticipation in some traitorous Pavlovian response before you even hear that familiar cha-ching! jingle across the electric, pulsing atmosphere. The space directly next to you erupts in a puff of rushing lime and emerald smoke, joined by a flurry of bright, neon dollar signs and confetti that whirls over the beverages and meals belonging to the neighboring tables; effectively tainting the other patron's food in its scatter. 
"Well, well, well, look who's come crawling back!" 
You're experiencing so many different emotions right now; you can't even keep track of it all of it while it roars around inside of you like a deluge bursting past the battered walls of a crumbled dam. You manage to recognize a few: concern, irritation, regret and most disturbingly, relief, joy and admiration. It's like you're entire being is suddenly overloaded with conflicting information and you aren't sure what you're supposed to say or do. 
In your disarray you notice that Hugo has gone still, just as surprised as you are. And the entire restaurant has fallen deathly silent, no longer noisy from the ceaseless chatter of varying conversations or the scrape of silverware on porcelain and the clinking of wine glasses. It's still. So hushed that you could hear a pin drop. Even worse, is that everyone's attention is now fixed on your table. Guests and employees alike, their focus is now on you. It's like you've been strapped down and flayed open on an operating table; you don't think you've ever felt so exposed, so judged in your entire life. 
Your mouth hangs open, but nothing makes its way out, not even when Hugo shoots you a questioning look before his eyes center back onto Mammon. 
"So this is who you're spending your time with now, " he remarks in that tantalizing lilt, leaning - looming over Hugo with an intrigued squint. His lower hands are folded across his stomach, but he uses the other pair to take ahold of your date by his wrists, spanning his arms open like he's inspecting a toy and his head tilts with the chime of bells. "He's a bit of a flimsy fucker, ain't he?" 
The expression on Hugo's face is understandably one of bewilderment, and he lets his arms drop back onto the table counter weightlessly when Mammon releases him. You can see all of the questions burning in his stare and you know that you have to give him some kind of explanation, even if this entire situation was a complete accident on your end. 
"Hugo, this is the . . . performer - uh, businessman that I was telling you about earlier," you clarify somewhat cryptically, giving him a tense smile. 
His jaw drops a little, shoulders going slack with what has to be the weight of shock and possibly intimidation. "Your ex is the King of Greed?" 
"Ex?" Mammon hisses, bending his body over the smaller demon while bearing his sharp teeth like he might bite and tear flesh while he jabs an accusing finger at Hugo. "What? You think just 'cause me and the missus had a little spat that you can just try and move in on my woman?" 
The fucking audacity that he has. 
Anger sears through you with a gravity that surprises yourself, and you stand up from your seat so abruptly that it has the legs scrapping across the smooth tiles with a sharp noise that could make you flinch if you weren't already so preoccupied. " 'Missus?' We aren't even marrie- we aren't even dating anymore! What the hell are you doing here?" 
The Sin blinks at you with what might be surprised before his expression melts into something composed and neutral. "You called; I came. That's what good boyfriends do," he says, and you can hear some kind of accusation in his tone, and he jabs a finger in your direction. " I showed up for you, even after you tore my heart out and practically pissed all over it! Did it get you off? Pissing all over our love?" 
The laugh that leaves you is entirely humorless, and at this point you're too upset to even consider that you're having an argument in the middle of some expensive restaurant with your ex while your date sits and watches like some kind of reluctant voyeur.  "Oh, please. Because you were always so invested in our relationship, weren't you?" you snap with your tone saturated full of sarcasm. "You poured more effort into trying to figure out ways in getting back at Fizz and Ozzie than giving me even a shred of your time. You started treating us like a chore, don't even try to pretend."  
You're able to find some satisfaction in the way that his eyes twitches, his composure slipping. In hindsight, it's pretty stupid trying anger someone who's capable of snuffing out your existence with the snap of his fingers, but as of right now, you can't find it in yourself to care. You want him to get mad. 
"And I told already fucking told you that it was only temporary," he defends, tilting towards you to get eye level. "I'm a busy man, babes and blackmailing and ruining the life or your backstabbing, shit-stain, ex-employee takes time. " He explains casually, making your irritation spike. 
"Well, that 'shit-stain, ex-employee' happens to be my friend," you hiss hotly, and your tail lashes out behind you. 
"All right, maybe we should all calm down and breathe," Hugo chimes in, advising in a hesitant pitch. 
Even with his suggestion hanging in the air it takes you and Mammon a moment to pull your venomous glares from each other, and onto him, but it's enough to have you revaluating your current position. You cast an awkward glace around the room, struggling not to shrink underneath the intrigued, gossip hungry stares of the other patrons. You sit yourself back down on the seat, outwardly cringing as it makes an obnoxious screech when you nudge it forward to tuck yourself back up against the table. 
"If I want your opinion, you little shit, then I'll ask ya for it, " Mammon snaps with a smile that's all teeth, lethal and razor sharp. 
"Then perhaps you should leave," Hugo says. Despite the firmness of his tone, you can see the way that his eyes shift nervously. Not that you could blame him. Mammon can be menacing when he's in a good mood, much less when he's genuinely displeased, and that's not even adding onto the fact the he's royalty that has an entire Ring of Hell serving as his domain. Honestly, the fact that the demon had chosen to speak up at all surprises you completely, and Mammon seems to share your astonishment if the befuddled way that his face has twisted up is any indication. 
"The fuck did you just say to me?" The Sin asks, eyebrows furrowing as his eyes glint in that venomous shade of green. You can see the tension setting into his shoulders as he arches over Hugo's space, using his height to make the smaller demon lean back into his chair. You try and send your date a wary glance, warning him to tread lightly. Mammon could be a little unpredictable at best, especially with how he reacts to criticism or just basic social boundaries, so there really wasn't any way to guess how he may respond to Hugo's request. He could either laugh it off with a few harsh insults or he could lash out and try to kill the Imp entirely. 
The latter of which, was the last thing that you wanted - for obvious reasons. 
But Hugo doesn't heed your forewarning glances at all. He looks up at Mammon, somehow managing to school his features enough to come across as unbothered. "Well, according to her, it seems that you two are no longer in a relationship; and she's made it clear that she doesn't seem to want you here anymore. " He says. "I just think it's best to respect what she wants." 
You can feel your mouth go dry and your tongue feels too thick and useless. Suddenly it's as though all of the warmth and oxygen has been syphoned out of the room, making your body tense like it's been dunked in frigid water. The grin on Mammon's face stretches just a bit too wide, and the cheerful expression almost seems a bit feral. You can feel that charged aura building up around him, not enough to create any visible static, but you can still feel it humming along your fingertips and brushing over the exposed bits of your skin. It's a decent indication to let you get a read on his mood, allowing you know that Hugo is wobbling along a very frayed tight rope right now, and any wrong miscalculation could send him spiraling down below. 
For a second you think that Mammon's composure might snap but instead that wolfish quality to his sneer melts away as though it had never been there, and he looks positively jovial. Somehow that's worse. 
"Ya know what!" he snaps one of his topmost fingers together. "You're right. We should give the little lady what she wants." 
Hugo blinks in surprise, visibly relaxing but the buttered-up tone that Mammon uses just sets you on edge. It's too performative - even for him. 
"I think that means you should be the one to leave then, mate." Mammon sighs, with a kind of artificial sympathy as he takes Hugo's glass of wine from the table and tosses the near full cup of alcohol back like it's a small sip before he leans close to the demon conspiratorially. "After all, she isn't here to move on, she's just here for a little distraction. Why she chose a limp dick like you for that, I'm still not sure. But hey! I'm not one to judge." 
That stings. Mostly because there is some actual merit to his words, as awful as they are to hear. It's a tough pill to swallow, but it isn't one that you want to take from Mammon of all people. That might have been one of the most difficult things about being in a relationship with the Sin. Is that regardless of how brash and inept that he happens to be at the best of times, he's undeniably good at reading others. He knows what makes them tick or how to use their insecurities as a tool. It made it so difficult to hide the most delicate and abrasive parts of yourself from him, and you suppose that might have been you fell for him in the first place. Because you could always be the worst side of yourself, and he had never shied away from it. Not once. 
"Well, I'd like you to leave . . . Your Highness," Hugo responds with halfhearted resolve, and you can hear the other tables whisper amongst themselves like they're occupying the front row seats to a drama. 
And it has that horrible sinking feeling in your gut. 
"Is that so? And just what the fuck are you gonna do to make me, bitch boy?" Mammon taunts, and you can hear the hint of a low growl tainting his voice. The enthusiasm and intrigue wafting from the other occupied tables in palatable, and it feels like you're all holding your breath, dreading whatever may come next but unable to look away. And you want to speak, to get Mammon's attention off of Hugo and onto you instead, but you can't manage to say a damn word. It's like your voice is stuck in your throat. 
Your date opens his mouth, to possibly defend himself or relent, but he never gets to opportunity to because one of Mammon's hands is lashing out in a quick blur, grabbing Hugo by the throat. The other sets of his eyes have appeared, glinting with a violent glare of chartreuse and the sibilant sound, similar to the hiss of a rattlesnake's quivering tail, or the disturbed hiss of a cicada puffs from his chest. He raises Hugo up to his level, making the Imps feet dangle pathetically above the floor while his tail lashes wildly. Mammon's lips curl in a nasty sneer, dripping with satisfaction and aggression. "I could break you, pipsqueak. Be careful not to piss me off more than you already have, yeah?" 
The grip around Hugo's neck way deadly, and you could see his eyes beginning to bulge from underneath the weight of the Sin's iron hold, making him look like some kind of fucked up chew toy. One good squeeze and he's as good as dead. "I can't believe this is the little fucker you tried to replace me with," he jeers, dangling the smaller Imp like a rag doll. 
Finally, all of the tension and chaos is enough to break you from your stupor, letting you reclaim control of your limbs to leap out from your chair for the second time of the night. "Mammon!" You shout, by the Sin doesn't seem to even register that you're speaking with the way that he doesn't so much as spare you a glance. His eyes are fixed onto the demon whose windpipe he has his fingers tightly secured around.
"Mammon! Put him down." You snatch ahold of one of the Sin's wrists, tugging on his arm. "Let. Him. Go, " you warn through gritted teeth, even though you're probably about as intimidating to him as gentle breeze. 
Mammon finally spares you glance, the sadistic cheer shifting from his face as his eyes cast down to yours. Hugo continues to thrash around wildly, like a fish tossed out onto a dock but the King of Greed doesn't seem to be in any rush to release him. Instead, he's sighing, exasperated and fully disappointed when he notices your enraged glare, and even without any visual pupils or irises you can still tell that he's rolling his eyes at you. "All right, all right, don't get yer thong in a twist, " he scoffs; frustrated. " Jeez, you've always been so protective over the other normies." 
He releases Hugo like he's a discarded piece of garbage, letting the demon land near his feet in a weak pile. You're quick to let go of the Sin's wrist as you slip past Mammon to drop yourself down onto your knees in front of your date, roving your vision over him helplessly as he heaves and sucks in ragged, labored breaths. Pure guilt and hatred wracks through your body at the sight of him and all the while your mind harshly chants that this is your fault. That you did this to him. 
"I'm sorry, " you whisper fervently. " I'm so sorry." 
He can't respond to you around the strained gasps shaking through his lungs, but you feel him flinch when you place a comforting touch against one of his shoulders. The reaction, no matter how warranted, makes you jerk away from him. It hurt. It dug that remorse in deeper like a hot poker and you were desperate to direct it something. It has you spinning on your heels, rising up to round on Mammon. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" You snarl, anger burning at your fingertips and searing in your chest. The combination of surprise and annoyance on his face just pisses you off even more, making your wings flair out. You catch the way that his eyes glance around the room, surveying the reactions of the customers and servers who have long since taken out their phones to spread the gossip. There's no doubt that this is going to be all over online headlines and trending on platforms like Sinstagram and VoxTok for the next couple of days, and you know that the way that you're publicly insulting him is a setting you on a fast track to his shit list. But you don't care. Not right now. You want him to get mad. You want him to become just as upset and irritated and wounded as you are. 
"You're a psychopath! " You rant. " Arrogant, insensitive, selfish -" 
" Uh, yeah, babes, " he interrupts, flourishing his arms across his body in a presenting flourish. " King of Greed." 
"I'm so tired of hearing that excuse." You scoff around the frustrated laugh bubbling up in your chest, clenching and unclenching your hands to try and relieve some of the tension in them. 
"Let's chill out, eh? You're causing a bit of a scene," Mammon grouses. 
That genuinely stalls you. Why, you aren't sure, you should be used to this sort of behavior by now, but you're already too worked up to just ignore that comment. "I'm causing a scene?" You point your fingers into your chest, staring up at him with a pure molten resentment. "You're the one who crashed my night and assaulted my date. If anyone here's the problem, it's you!" 
A part of you waits for him to lash out, fully expecting to see those sharp, neon flashes of electricity start to fizzle and shoot out around him in a warning, but it never comes. Instead, he's rocking back on his feet, and the irritated scowl on his face shifts, molding into something soft and deceptively charming. "Baaabe, " he draws out an almost singsong whine. "Let's not do this anymore. Aren't you tired of all this fighting?" 
His mouth sets into something like a pout, and that coupled with the gentle, saccharine lit to his voice has you hesitating to berate him even more. It's such an obvious ploy to manipulate you - it has to be - but even worse is that it's working. You can feel that annoying, sugared sense of affection rising up and stupefying you. He uses your stalled response to his advantage, taking your hips and cupping your face with both pairs of his hands to tug you a little bit closer into his space until you can feel the thrum of his magnetic aura dipping across your body. His thumbs sweep over the edges of your cheeks, and some treacherous part of yourself longs to lean into his cool touch. "I miss us. I miss you, " he confesses like the moment between you both is private, and for a minute you completely forget that you're in a crowded room, airing out your relationship drama for all to see. "Don't you miss me? Even just a little?"
He almost sounds vulnerable when he asks it. The other sets of his eyes have long since vanished from sight, but the sheer amount of emotion gleaming from the main pair makes your heart ache. And even with all of your common sense raging inside of you and telling you to pull away from him, to slip out of his hold before you get caught too deep to pull out, you don't know if you can. Not when you can finally feel him again after so much time apart. And even with the smooth, press of his leather gloves keeping you from being able to feel his skin directly, the cool sensation of them is too good to let go of. "Yes," you admit, almost a little brokenly. There's the hurt of self-disappointment that runs through you when you say it, but the relief and exhilaration that rises up greatly overshadows it, frothing up and drowning it like the crash of a tsunami against the surf. 
"See?" He coos tenderly. "See how much better it is when we don't fight?" 
It's the sound of a rough intake of breath that finally rips you out of your moment of weakness and your eyes flit over to the origin of the noise out from your peripherals. It's when your focus lands on Hugo that reality comes hurtling down on you. He's pulling himself up onto his feet, still clearly a little disoriented but thankfully coherent. It has you tearing out of Mammon's hold before you can register it, approaching the Imp with a concerned furrow pinching your eyebrows close. "Are you okay?" You ask, a bit of a stupid question you admit, but you aren't sure what you could possibly say to make this situation any better.  
The stare that Hugo pins you with is a little wild and you can see noticeable traces of fear and rage, and he tries to smooth out the wrinkles that have marred his suit, combing his fingers through his unkempt hair in an attempt to try and right himself.  "Why would I be fucking okay?" 
It's a justifiable reaction, you suppose, but it doesn't make it any less painful take the brunt of that searing glare. You recoil away from it, thumping back into something solid and soft, and the scent of money carries over you; the hint of that leather musk that transfers onto the bills from being stuffed into purses and wallets; the slightly metallic notes of coins and the till from cash registers. That familiarity of it has you unconsciously sinking into the presence pressed up against your body for comfort. 
"You're still here, are ya?" Mammon's voice rumbles out, and you can feel the vibrations of it thrumming across your back, but it's hard to even hear what he's saying while you're bombarded by the searing pressure of everyone else's enthralled eyes pinned onto you; the bewildered, hurt stare that Hugo fixes you with as he steadies himself on his weakened legs. It has you feeling naked and bare. Stripped down to display all of your imperfections for all of the world to see, exposing you for judgement. But it's the cold, stinging weight of remorse that wounds you the most; driven in deep by that unforgiving voice in the back of your mind that keeps telling you that the entire trajectory of this night is your fault. That Hugo was humiliated and harmed because of you. 
You should have just stayed home. You should have just - 
"Let's say you and me ditch this shithole," Mammon purrs: the soothing chill of his hand's seeps through your skin, gripping around your shoulders and waist, threatening to make you go lax against him. "Let's go back home. We can make up for all our lost time." 
The scattered whispering around you nearly makes you miss the Sin's words. You can hear all of them, softly giggling amongst themselves and gasping in shock. But it's Hugo's shaken glare and all of the confusion and hatred that peeks through it that catches you. And there's some deep, knee jerk drive that tells you to go and try to comfort him. To try an apologize for the entire derailment of the date and explain yourself, but instead you're leaning back into Mammon's presence, savoring the musky scent of him and the distant magnetic thrum that constantly pulses across his body. 
You know whatever comes out of your mouth next is going to choose your fate. It'll completely seal the deal, so to speak, for the remainder of your life. And as dangerous as that thought is, as perilous as that truth may be, you can't find it in yourself to be scared. You find yourself leaning into it - into him - and fully accepting the troubles that may come from it. If you're going to be truly honest with yourself, these past few weeks have been complete torture because as much as you loathe to admit it, you've been lying to yourself. Pretending that you want to move and forget him, when in all honestly, that's the furthest thing from your true desires. You want him. You think that you always will, and some awful part of you basks in it. Seeks it out even. And that shameless bit of you helps you in shedding off the shame that comes with the looks from all of the patrons. Suddenly you don't mind all of the judgmental and fascinated ogling. When he's at your side, none of them matter.
"Sure," you agree, and all of that remaining doubt fizzles out into a dull, muted nudge in the back of your mind. "Let's go home." 
You can feel the pleased hum that he releases more than you hear it. A rumble that's close to a purr and he hugs you tighter against his body with all of his limbs like he's afraid that you might vanish if he doesn't. He scoops his lower arms underneath your legs, effectively clutching you to his chest and your arms grip around his neck instinctively. The look that he gives Hugo is outright gloating, with that wide, jagged grin stretched out across his face and you have to roll your eyes at the pompous display.  
"Hey, don't forget to pay the check before ya leave, mate," Mammon teases. " And make sure to leave a good tip. Wouldn't want to be a dickhead."
You can feel the electrical pulse around him begin to build. It gives you barely any time to scoop up the strap of your purse with your tail, lifting it from its place hanging on the chair before that little royalty free children's cheer breaks out with that loud cha-ching! and the room distorts and mutates into a twisting billow of green. Hugo's face is the last thing that you see as you vanish within Mammon's grip, still wearing that startled and insulted expression that twists up his features and the look in his eye's stings. It remains with you as the world shifts into something dark and distorted with shades of a deep jade and flashing neon; and everything twists and spins out until everything loses its sense of tangibility and becomes a weightless amalgamation of electricity and smoke. And for one elongated split second it feels as though you don't even have a physical body. Instead, you're just a thing conceptualized through thoughts and emotions and wills that serves as some kind of conduit for those scattered electrical currents to run rampant through you while they take you apart piece by piece and shrink you down into something small and fleeting until you're being is forcefully expanded and overblown. And then finally there's sensation in your toes and fingertips and the point of your tail. You can breathe again, and the cool press of Mammon's body and arms can be felt around you. 
You gasp, remembering to force yourself to inhale in an attempt to ward off that delicate weight of dizziness that fizzles around your skull, and with a few steady breaths the faint lull over your head fades away until you can finally focus and get a sense of your surroundings. 
At least you didn't vomit like the first time. 
It's a quick glance through the large observational window that helps to orient you, giving you a sweeping view of the dreary city down below and the glittering cast of the cerulean and lime green neon lights and signs that decorate some of the buildings. You're just glad that he teleported you both inside. The air in the Greed Ring - if it could even be categorized as air - can often times be putrid, if not outright lethal depending on what section of his domain you're in. Even though this particular penthouse happens to be in one of the more put together cities, far from the smokestacks overwhelming contaminated plumes, the factories and toxic landfills, the wind is able to carry the pollution over on its currents, and it's been known to be quite dangerous. Noxious and putrid enough to be detrimental. 
Seriously, you've seen it choke out a family of four. 
Reality hits you with all of the grace of a speeding truck, that you're actually here in Mammon's house, and you're left to try and brace for the oncoming torrent of regret and self-hatred that's going to absolutely piledrive you, but it never comes. There's no crushing weight of disappointment or exasperation. Instead, you're greeted with a delicate but fizzling sort of peace. It's like some kind of grip has been lifted from your shoulders and lungs and you're finally able to breathe again after being held underwater and suffocated. It floods through you like a soothing type of warmth, like the sunlight peeking out from the dense shield of cloud cover after days of darkness. It's pleasant and balmy despite the fact that the arms and hands holding you are somewhat tepid; a little cool, and you lean into it. 
It surprises you when that gentle feeling of relief starts to shift, and you can taste something sharp and hungry crack across the atmosphere, a little sour. Jealousy, you instinctively recognize. And it's quickly chased by a heavy, pulsing thrum that's heady and a little smoky, and your body's response is immediate, knee-jerk and intrinsic, and every part of you seems to flood with heat and buzz like you've been struck with a livewire. As rare as this particular brand of desire is, it's one that you're intimately accustomed to, and it has Mammon's magnetic signature all over it. All-consuming and wanting and possessive. 
He's never particularly been a lustful being, and all honesty, the number of times that you've had sex with the King of Greed has been far in between. In the beginning it was something that you had almost taken personally. You had nearly assumed that maybe there was something wrong with you, that perhaps he just wasn't attracted to you has an individual. But luckily, you had been quick to realize that he just didn't have much of a sex drive all together. It didn't stem from a place of disgust or even necessarily a full-on lack of interest, it was just the urge would rarely ever arise for him. It just wasn't an instinct that he had, or at the very least, it was one that would make an appearance very fleetingly. But it worked for the both of you surprisingly. Usually, after a shift at Ozzie's you were gorged on as much lust and energy as you could possibly take. Too much of a good thing could leave you feeling nauseous and uncomfortable in your own flesh, like your skin has been cinched too tight. It made being around him a breath of fresh air.
But that didn't mean that he absolutely never had a libido. But usually whenever his desire would emerge, it seemed to have a deep-rooted connection to jealousy and some inherent need to prove that you were his. 
One of the first times you had sex was during one of his Annual Clown Pageant's and some random demon had shouted up at you from your place above where you were curled up against Mammon's side, stupidly asking for you to lift up your shirt and show him your tits. And the violent crackle of electricity was about the only warning he got before he was roped by a sudden cast of glowing webbing and then promptly tossed across the long expanse of the stadium. Your pretty sure that several of his bones had been shattered. 
But as annoying as the stranger was, maybe you should give that guy some props. Even though he had landed himself a trip to the ER you had spent the remainder of your night getting your back blown out by the King of Greed. 
You have tried to tell Mammon that he doesn't have to have sex with you to convince you that you're his. That he doesn't have to buy your love and loyalty with sexual gratification. Despite the nature of your being, you don't have to have sex to feel loved or cherished. He satisfies the need you have for touch well, with his constant desire in having you stuck to his side or in his arms in some kind of fashion. You already know that you're fully his. You want to be, and you accepted him and all of his affections and at times lack thereof completely, but he'd always been insistent on touching you after someone has shamelessly flirted with you. Almost like he had to remind himself that you were still there. He wouldn't stop until every inch of you was doused in his scent and it was unmistakable you were his. 
Considering how long the two of you have been a part recently, how nasty the breakup had been and the sheer magnitude of the lust and jealousy prickling across the atmosphere and seeping into your skin and saturating your bones, you had a good impression of how the rest of this night is going to play out. It has anticipation running rampant in your veins. You tear your eyes away from the dark city outside of the window to face him, and the weight of his gaze nearly knocks you breathless. His eyes are glowing bright within the dim lighting of the room, burning a deadly shade of chartreuse. It makes you feel pinned in place, like you're being tracked by something dangerous. A weak animal dangling within the jagged, lethal maw of a starved creature. 
The energy that's descended over you dances over your skin, magnetic and searching and so vibrant that for a moment it almost feels as though it could transform into a living, breathing thing and consume you both until there's nothing but scraps left behind. You're toeing the line of something vicious, a little wild, and a part of you wonders if you'll even come out of this in one piece. You might just get torn apart. 
But you've never been one for self-preservation. 
You aren't completely sure who moves first. But suddenly his lips are on yours, tasting floral and a little spicy from the wine that he had stolen from Hugo earlier, and it feels like you've been zapped from the fervent exchange. Your body momentarily goes a little lax, making your tail drop your purse on the floor with a careless flop in favor of winding around one of his lower forearms. It's already a little sloppy and uncoordinated, fueled by desperation and want. Then again, Mammon always has been a little messy whenever he kisses, all tongue and teeth. It might have disgusted some, his outright lack of tact and finesse, but you've always found it endearing and honestly hot. It's depraved, completely filthy, and it doesn't stop you from moaning when he licks into your mouth to taste you. 
Every part of your body seems to burn like you've been dipped into melted wax. A shiver skips down the notches of your spine, quivering from the sensation of his lust clouding over you and curling up in your lungs, packing your head full of stuffing. His desire just serves to fuel your own, pilling it up on top of each other until it already has you near mindless. It's straight up embarrassing how easily he's able to affect you. To practically turn you into a pile of mush with a couple of looks and some kissing, but you can hardly find it in yourself to be ashamed. 
Both of your hands are everywhere, slipping across each other's bodies, groping and clawing. You can feel the hint of his talons pressing against the cover of his gloves, dragging over your skin like he means to leave marks. The simple thought of him scratching across you with dark, stinging streaks remaining in the wake of his sharp nails has you shifting yourself to wrap your legs around the thick of his abdomen so that you can shamelessly grind against his stomach like some kind of slut, impulsively seeking out your own pleasure. 
You can feel the vibrations of his low, mocking laugh tremble underneath you, spurring a liquid heat to build between your thighs. But the whine that leaves you is a little broken and ragged when he cruelly removes his mouth from yours to leer down at you. It makes you painfully conscious of the spit that's been smeared across your lips and the breathless way that you're already panting. 
"Look at you, grindin' up on me like a bitch in heat," he croons meanly, but it doesn't offend you, and he knows that. It's a little fact about you that he utilizes constantly for his own benefit. Your desire to take the brunt of his insults until your defenses are stripped bare and you're left to his wills and wants. You can practically feel the satisfaction rolling off of him in waves, thick and rousing and it just has you needing more. 
"Mammon," you whine brazenly, intentionally coquette. 
You can tell by the look in his eyes; glowing and craving, that it just fuels his ego, single handedly feeding into his hubris. Not that it needs to get any bigger. Regardless of that simple fact, you can't help yourself in indulging him majority of the time; watching him preen underneath your subtle praise and blatant desire; even when he doesn't realize it. Even then, it takes you by surprise when your spun around and tossed into the air as easily as a pillow. You land onto something equally firm and bouncy with a small gasp. The thick, individual threads that stick to your skin in a sultry, adherent grip, have your limbs stuck, keeping you secured to whatever surface he's stuck you to. 
His web. 
A cursory glimpse has you confirming just as much; taking in the sight of the bright neon glow of the silken twine that keeps your limbs fastened to its grip. The lack of mobility doesn't unnerve you in the slightest, instead, it has something excited smoldering inside the base of your abdomen. And the lust and ardor pouring from him, combined with the magnetic aura that constantly pulses over him does amplifies your fervor to an embarrassing degree. 
The grin on his face is sharp and smug, showing off the lethal rows of his teeth. He lowers himself onto the web slowly, his movement are all purposeful; calculated and unrushed. Intentionally dragging out his climb above you, no doubt reveling in the way that your body writhes to try and get near his own.
"You're so fucking desperate," he taunts and there's the hint of a laugh tainting his words. "Could have fooled me, with the way that you were practically eye fucking that cheap bitch." 
Your face crumples up into a light sneer, and there's a retort on the tip of your tongue. That low voice in the back of your mind is telling you to keep quiet, or else he'll drag this out more than he already is, but your sense of pride rises up to the forefront. "Well, I wouldn't have been off with another man if you hadn't acted like such a dick." 
His eyes narrow, and it could have been a trick of light, but you swear that they glow brighter underneath the shadows saturating the room. That electrical aura around him spikes, becoming palpable underneath his flaring irritation, trickling over your skin like an electrical current that makes you gasp. But he masks his indignation with a smirk that looks all too pleased, like you had blindly bumbled into a trap. 
"I really don't think that you're in position for back talk," he chides, tilting his head condescendingly as he continues his climb over you, spreading your thighs wide to fit himself between your legs with the musical chime of bells. He's settled himself over the expanse of your body, placing his topmost pair of hands on either side of your shoulders to prop himself up. Just another soft spot that he likes to take full advantage of. He knows the way that your differences in size affects you, that way that bulk of his body practically engulfs yours. It already has a thrill shooting down the nape of your neck, and your nipples harden underneath the cool silk fabric of your dress while your back involuntarily arches, seeking out the feel of him. You can't even stop yourself from attempting to grind your hips against the swell of his lower abdomen in some carnal search for friction. "It's making me feel like ya don't even want me here anymore," he says, feigning to sulk. 
You try to swallow the whine that bubbles up from your throat when he straightens himself, pulling away from you, but it escapes regardless, a little breathless and strained. He definitely heard, if the satisfaction that gleams in his eyes is any indication. He puts a studious expression on his face, eyebrows pinched close while he raises a hand to his chin like he's thinking. "Ya know, I'm pretty sure you left one of those little toys of yours after we split. "
Oh, no. 
That gives you some pause, makes your body cease the desperate roll of your hips to focus on him. It takes a moment for your brain to catch up, but once it does it's able to latch onto the fact that you did indeed leave one of your sex toys here at the apartment. One of your favorite ones in fact. A rabbit vibrator that you had bought a few years ago. You had been completely pissed when you realized that you had left it behind after you cleared what you had in his closet and bathroom, and returned back to your apartment to unpack. You had been upset about having forgotten it for the entirety of a week, but you were too prideful to text or call him about it. There was no way that would have broken your silence towards Mammon over a vibrator of all things. And it honestly throws you for a loop to know that he even kept it. 
But even worse than all of that is the smile that's stretching at the corners of his mouth. The sight of it alone has the alarm bells in your mind going off. "Considering that you don't want me anymore, I could just go get it for you. Put it in that needy little cunt of yours and let it take care of you all night." 
It wasn't an idle threat either. He'd absolutely deliver on it. It's something that he's done to you before, cruelly leaving you bound to his webbing with a toy placed on the highest setting to draw out orgasm after orgasm from your body until you were a boneless, drooling, thoughtless mess. The memory does admittedly have a thrum of heat pooling down between the apex of your legs, but the idea of not being able to touch him after so much time apart sounds like absolute torture. 
You find yourself shaking your head, chanting a series of 'no's' under your breath. He hasn't even done anything to you yet, and you've already been reduced to a pathetic pile of mush, already a little drunk from the influence of his lust and magnetic thrum. 
"Are you sure?" He presses, absolutely toying with you. His lower hands settle on your legs that have hooked around his waist to sweep up until they're rucking up the skirt of your dress and slipping underneath the fabric to pluck at the straps of your panties with the sharp edges of his gloved fingertips. The feel of his chilled touch on your heated skin leaves a buzzing trail in their path and you press your body further into their hold, savoring the pressure of them. 
"Please," you beg unabashed in your shameless behavior, but you've long since abandoned your pride if it'll just get him to actually do something. 
"Hmm," he hums lowly, squinting at you questioningly, making your anticipation rise only to snuff it out. "I don't know . . . I'm still not convinced." 
You try not to let your exasperation show. You don't want to give him the satisfaction to know that he's truly getting under your skin, though you're sure that you're failing fantastically. You could still smell his jealousy in the air, sharp and bitter on your tongue, and it gives you a pretty keen idea on how to approach this. It's obvious that he wants you to feed into his ego a bit more, wants to see you plead for him and earn his attention back to gorge those possessive urges that he has. You could definitely do that.  
"Come on, Mammon, please touch me," you whine, and your eyelids flutter when one of the golden bells hanging from the decorative layers of his costume catches on your clit from over your underwear, rolling over it in a way that makes your mouth drop open. "It's not the same if it isn't you. It needs to be you. Just you. I want you to use me, I need you to fuck me, please, plea- " 
"Yeah? You ready to make it up to me?" He asks, gripping onto your chin when you nod eagerly in response. He chuckles lowly, eyes burning in that intense shade of green while his grin stretches wide. You hardly register it when the grip he has on your hips tightens, and a quick blur has your positions switching when the silk strands of his webbing release from your skin and suddenly you're the one looking down at him, perched on his abdomen. He's practically lounged himself over his web with the top pair of his arms curled behind his head, reclining himself against the tapestry printed pillows and satin cushions. It catches you by complete surprise when he reaches with his other set of hands and manages to rip your dress and undergarments from your body with the harsh tear of fabric. 
"Well, then - " he starts, landing a cracking smack across the swell of your ass, ripping a delighted gasp from you at the sensation of the sting - "best get started. My dick ain't gonna suck itself." 
He really is so charming. 
You suppress the urge to roll your eyes at him, propping yourself up on your palms to slink yourself down from your place on his stomach and in between his legs. You meet his gaze with your own when your pull back the pointed, embroidered fabric of his motley to reveal the bulge of his cock straining against his pants. You haven't even taken him out from his breeches yet, but it never fails to surprise you how massive he is. It always takes you off guard, though it does nothing to dull the white-hot desire scorching at your body, threatening to eat you from the inside out; it only fuels it. 
He catches the lust and want in your stare judging by haughty glint saturating his expression, lips pulled back in that jagged grin. 
You really want to wipe that look off his face. 
You can't fight off the urge to lean forward, dropping your mouth open to glide your tongue over the fabric that's pulled taut over the heavy thickness of him. Trying to suck his dick through his costume like a degenerate. You moan aloud when you catch the head of his cock underneath your tongue, but you can't help but be a little disappointed when you're unable to taste him through the barrier of his pants. Though that little bit of discontent is quickly snuffed out by the subtle way that his thighs twitch on either side of your head. It has you pulling your mouth from him to take it in his expression. He's unfortunately managed to keep it unfazed for the most part, still sporting that smug smile, but you know him enough to notice the mild furrow pinched between his eyebrows that let you know he's affected. 
It gives you the motivation to reach up and unfasten the concealed buttons keeping his pants secured. You try to hide the anticipation in your movements, doing your best to stay articulate and nimble with your fingers as you pop the buttons free from their openings in the garment. Even with the confidence and desire rushing through your veins like molten sugar you have a difficult time keeping your features fixed into something unwavering when his cock springs free from his pants. He's big to say the least, almost ridiculously so. Sure, you've taken him before, but the memories never really do him justice. 
For a moment you're just left to stare dumbly. Admire, really. Roving your eyes over the length of him, appreciatively glancing at the ridges that flare and line down his shaft; shortening and tapering off the closer they get to the bulbous head. You've had a fair number of flings and lovers in the past, but he easily has to be one of the biggest you've ever taken. The first time that the two of you had sex you had almost been a little intimidated by the size of him. But with time, that intimidation quickly melted into a type of awe and desire. You can feel your body react, muscles drawing up tight and heat throbs between the apex of your thighs. 
"C'mon now, you were so fucking desperate for it earlier, " he coos, reaching down to grip himself, dragging the head of cock against the shape of your bottom lip, smearing his cum over your pout like a chilled gloss. You open your mouth to taste him, salty and musky across your pallet and you continue to lower yourself down him until you can feel him brush against the back of your throat. You can't help but hum, content from the weight of him on your tongue, the vibrations of your voice reward you with sharp hiss from his lungs. He's cool to the touch, but not unpleasantly so, and the chilled temperature of his skin is almost soothing, like a sort of balm spreading across your tongue. 
He's big enough that you can already feel the strain in the hinges of your jaw, and you try to mindful of your teeth, careful not to accidentally scrape him. There's absolutely no way that you'll be able to take all of him this way - you know from experience. It has you placing the rest of him that you can't fit in your mouth into both of your hands, using the saliva that's spread across his girth to aid the firm glide of your palms, moving them in tandem with your mouth to build a steady rhythm. It's already sloppy. Spit drips past your lips, coating his cock in a way that depraved, if not a little gross. Not that he's ever minded. Mammon always seems to prefer his head a little messy, and you've always been one to indulge him. 
You make sure to drag your tongue along the underside of his cock, stroking the point of it over one of the soft, sensitive ridges throbbing along its length when you drag your lips up to suck at the head, swallowing the precum that trickles from the slit in a generous pour. 
Tears have already begun to prickle at the corners of your lash line, blurring your vision just a bit. It's a little upsetting that it's made it difficult to see the expression on his face, the furrow of his eyebrows but the way that his mouth has dropped open for him to release a bout of ragged expletives is more than enough to dull the sting. 
It has you doubling your efforts, desperate to hear more of those breathless swears. You drop your mouth down on him until you can feel him in your throat, and the wet heat of it has him gripping the back of your head with a strained grip, claws threatening to burst through the leather of his gloves and scratch, guiding you to swallow a little bit more of him. 
You aren't even the one getting head right now, but you're just as worked up. Your entire body feels like it's being overloaded with something electrical and blazing. Your cunt is soaked, cum smeared down your thighs in a way that you couldn't bother being ashamed of. You're drunk on the scent of sex and the pulsing sensation of lust that's seemed to replace all of the air in the room, making it difficult to see past your desire and your need to taste him. You moan around his length, twisting your fists around him fervently as you suck at him with the goal to make him spill down your throat. 
"You're such a slut, ain't ya," but it's more of a statement rather than a question. "Trying to fuck yourself up against nothing like some kind of whore." 
For a moment your brain scrambles along dumbly, trying to make sense of his words when you finally realize that your hips have been rolling up against the air in some mindless instinct, and your thighs are tightly pressed together in an effort to find even the smallest bit of friction. It makes shame prickle across your tear-soaked cheeks and you're quick to halt the movement of your waist while you try to refocus on the task at hand, stroking your tongue over his throbbing girth. 
"Aw, none of that now," he chides, a little patronizing. Suddenly one of his legs is prying between your own, forcing a frayed mewl from the depths of your chest when he presses it against your slick cunt. It has your hips jerking over him, mindlessly undulating them to seek out that delicious rise of ecstasy. The laugh that bubbles up from him is demeaning. It should probably humiliate you. Make you upset.  Or at the very least motivate you to grab onto the remaining tatters of your pride and try to gain some sense of control. To make some half-assed quip or insult at him to at least to assume the illusion of authority. But you like it. You like being at his whims. It makes you feel like you're his. "Damn, you're such a greedy fucking thing. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to come for my spot." 
You can only manage to moan around his girth, trying to focus around the thick syrupy warmth that's begun to drizzle inside your skull, making your thoughts drown and sink somewhere a little fuzzy and distant. You can feel that familiar surge of heat and euphoria rising up and swelling at a rate that should be embarrassing. All you can focus on in the pressure of two of his hands holding onto the back of your head and one of your horns, using the leverage to work your mouth up and down his cock, using the wet heat to build up his own pleasure until you're practically some glorified sex toy. The very idea of it has your eyes rolling back in your skull and your hips jolt against the curve of his knee, rolling it against the slick swollen bundle of your clit. You keen at the contact, nearly gagging on the rhythmic press of his cock hitting the back of your throat.  
You can feel him pulse in your mouth, and his hips twitch with each thrust, losing the control of the even, pronounced pace that he had before until it's all but choppy and selfish. It has you doubling down on your efforts, rolling your tongue over him, swallowing even more of him down despite the how it makes even more tears trickle down your face; squeezing and twisting both of your fists around his length in a frenzied need to taste him. You want him to spill down your throat. You're immediately rewarded by his sweet, guttural groans, basking in the way that they ring out all ragged and low across the room. 
He's close. So, so close, and you are too. You feel your shared ardor and lust prickling up around you; in your fingertips and toes, burning white-hot and heavy in the cradle of your hips. Your body coils up tight, waiting to have it crest over you and sweep you under its unforgiving pull. 
And then his body is pulling up taut, back bowing until he's nearly curling over you. It takes you a bit by surprise when the grasp that he has on your head tightens in a grip that toes the line of near painful, and he jerks your mouth down onto his cock until it's snug in the back of your throat. He spills inside of you with a gutted groan of your name and a menagerie of frayed swears. "Fucking take it you fucking - shit - filthy bitch - fuck." You do your best to swallow him down, drinking down the cool burst of his cum eagerly. It's difficult with the abundance of it, and the sheer amount of it still shocks you little. But you do your best not to waste a single drop, slipping him from out of your mouth to lick up what's leaked down his length. 
You look up at him through your lashes, damp and clumped together, to admire the lazy smirk on his face. His eyes have gone heavy and a little lidded from the aftershocks and satisfaction weighing down his body. You lean into his touch when he cradles the side of your face, wiping the tears from your eye as he guides your lips away from his cock, still hard and throbbing to place all of your attention on him. He doesn't even have to ask for you to obediently open your mouth, dropping your jaw open and sticking out your tongue to show him that you've made sure to swallow all of his cum. 
"Look at that," he marvels, bells chiming. "You just might still be my good girl after all." 
You whine at that little shred of praise, rocking your cunt against his leg with even more fervor. The texture of the fabric dragging over your clit has your eyes nearly going cross, and you can't even find it in yourself to mad at the mocking way that he chuckles at your desperation. Probably delighting in the breathless moans and mewls that are pouring out of your in an unabashed surge. 
"Yeah? You want to make me happy?" He coos, all patronizing and falsely sweet. It should tip you off, and to a degree it does reach that coherent, long buried part of you. But you're already too cock drunk and caught up in all of the lust in the air to focus clearly. "Then quit fucking my leg and sit up." 
The sound that leaves you is mournful and little agonized. The very idea of that sounds like complete torture. You're so close to that precipice of ecstasy that you could taste it as much as you could feel it. Winding up your body tight and promising to drag you underneath a torrent of pleasure, all smoked honey, electrical and dulcet. 
"Mammon," you gasp with a plead saturating your tone. 
His face shifts into a fake pout, eyebrows furrowed like you've wounded him, and as obviously fake as the expression is, you can't help but be disturbed by the mere notion that you might have disappointed him. He places a hand to his chest dramatically. "But I thought you wanted to be my good girl again? And here I thought we'd made some progress."  
"I do," you insist vehemently. "I am, I swear I am."  And regardless of the pathetic nature of your tone, it's also firm in your conviction. You grip onto some of the thick threads of the webbing beneath you and you think you could honestly snap them if you grabbed them any tighter, sucking in your breath while you reluctantly will your hips to stop. You could honestly sob when you feel the heat in your cunt die out into a hungry, unsatisfied throb, but the need for Mammon's approval triumphs that want. He hums appreciatively when you get yourself to shift from off his leg and move yourself into a sitting position between his legs. You struggle not to clench your thighs together to rekindle that delicious high again.  He must be able to see the near pained look in your eyes because the satisfaction rolling off of him is thick and heavy. 
He cradles your chin in between his fingers, directing you to look up at him and center your attention onto him, leaning towards you with the rustle of fabric and the jingle of bells. But it's difficult not to track his movement when he sweeps one of his hands down to his cock, using the slick of your saliva and more of the precum that's begun to trickle from his head to aid him in jerking himself off. But you force your gaze to remain glued to his even with the nasty, languid shlick sound of his hand moving over his length begging you to peek. 
"Now you're gonna come up here and sit nice and pretty on my cock, " he orders. You can't even hide the excitement that runs over you, flaring deep inside of your abdomen and no doubt lighting up your eyes. But you should have known that there'd be a catch. That it would never be so straight forward with someone like Mammon. "And you're going to stay still and quiet. I've got a very important call to make - ya know, business and all. I won't bore you with the details, but if you try and get yourself off - if I pick up so much a twitch from those hips of yours or single whimper from those pretty lips and you can go ahead and forget cumming tonight."
All the hope that you had previously felt seems to leave your body like a deflated balloon. Despite your need to please him you can't keep your frustration from bleeding into your features and you can feel what must be the hint of a scowl twisting on your lips. But of course, Mammon being Mammon looks nothing short of entertained by the response. "Aw, don't be like that," he soothes with sarcasm coating his words while he pinches your cheeks between his fingertips. "It'll just take a second. 
Liar. An absolute liar. He's going to drag this out for as long as he possibly can, and always a masochist, you feel excitement unfurling in your gut at the prospect of it. 
"Understand?" He asks, with a wide, expectant grin. 
"I understand," you agree without a shred of hesitation. 
"Get up here then," he says, sitting himself up from his place lounged against the pillows. But then he's impatiently grabbing onto your waist before you even have time to move, flipping you around to press your back against his plush stomach, sitting you astride him with your legs on either side of his body. You can feel the head of his cock brush against your sensitive clit, making you twitch, a little tender from your ruined orgasm, but you swear that the light touch could have made you cum had it just been a little bit heavier. You have to draw in a deep breath, pulling your focus onto the chill of his body temperature seeping out onto your back as some kind of center. Serving as a kind of buoy to guide you through the deluge of thoughts, and sensations of both of your lust and that electrical aura that constantly pulses around him. It helps you to reach down and take ahold of his cock, lining it up until it's pressed against the slick entrance of your cunt, and you savor the pleased throaty rumble that it drags from him. 
He doesn't release the grasp that he has on your waist, even has you begin to lower yourself onto him. Your jaw drops when you start to sink down on his length, and your walls flutter as they stretch to accommodate the swollen head of his cock. It's something you've done plenty, but no matter how many times you do it, it never fails to make it feels as though the air has been snatched from your lungs. You gasp raggedly, grabbing onto one his free hands, lacing your fingers together with a squeeze as you continue to sink yourself down. The stretch comes with a slight burn. Lighting up a deep ache in between your hips but it's one that feels so good. It never fails to make your brain go blank. You just hardly manage to hear Mammon saying something to you. But it seems too far away and vague to make out with the delicious fog taking over your brain even though you are able to recognize the tone that he's using as encouraging and uncharacteristically soft. 
You hardly have time to register one of his fingers winding over your clit with tight, practiced movements that have liquid fire shooting up your spine. It makes your hips roll involuntarily and the head of his cock fully slips inside of your cunt with a filthy wet sound. You're finally able to make out some of his words now that the thickest part of him has finally worked past the tight ring of your entrance. "Remember when you couldn't even take me?" He asks, almost conversationally, like he isn't still teasing your clit and practically splitting you open with his cock. "But you were so eager to try. Now look at you, with your cunt taking it like a fuckin' pro." 
You drag in another quivering breath, continuing to sink down on him and for a moment you brain distantly worries, despite all logic that he isn't going to end. For a second it seems like he isn't. The brush of the ridges lining down his girth is an exquisite kind of torture, sliding against your walls in a way that has you whimpering and keening aloud. You feel so full already but whenever you think you're nearly done; glancing down to check, there always seems to be a few more inches left. It isn't until you finally feel the solid press of his thighs underneath your ass, physically keeping you from going any lower, that lets you know that you've managed to take all of him. You peer down, almost like some subconscious part of you needs to verify that you've actually fit the entirety of his length inside and when you do the sight of the subtle impression of his cock in your stomach nearly makes you keel over. It's something that you've seen before with Mammon, but it never fails to shoot pure euphoria into your veins, and the glides around your clit from his fingertips does little help you already frayed sense of self. 
You gasp unsteadily, panting like you've run a marathon and you let yourself sag against Mammon's abdomen completely, allowing him to keep you upright while you try to keep yourself tethered to reality. But Mammon, the complete bastard that he is moves the hand that had been on your waist and slips it around onto your abdomen until the soothing chill of his palm is pressed against the gentle outline of his cock. It tears a whine out from your throat and your cunt clenches around his girth so violently that for a moment you think you might cum. You tetter on the edge of euphoria for one glorious second before the sensation settles into an unsatisfied throb. 
"Look at you," he marvels with pure satisfaction. "Get a little bit of cock in you and you might as well as be fucked dumb." 
You definitely wouldn't qualify it as a "little bit." But you aren't going to tell him that. Not that he necessarily needs you to, your reaction to the girth and length of him is obviously more than enough of an indication of the affect he has on you. 
"You remember the rules?" He asks. It takes a minute to comprehend his words. His bells ring out delicately, signaling his movement before you even feel the weight of his chin resting on your shoulder while he waits for your response, sweeping his thumb over the bulge in your stomach in teasing motions. But the sensation also serves to ground you and pull your thoughts to the forefront. You turn your head as best as you can, meeting the searing green of his gaze from your peripheral vision with a clipped, sluggish nod. 
"Yeah, I remember," you confirm, a little breathlessly. His eyebrows raise expectantly, grin widening with his own anticipation, prompting you to reaffirm the list. "Keep still, keep quiet. . . And I can't cum unless you let me."  You add that last bit a little reluctantly. Mournfully. All you can do is wish that he won't drag this out for too long, even though you know you're just setting yourself up for failure. The entirety of Hell would freeze over sooner. Hopefully, he's not in the mood for breaking any records. You really don't feel like being edged for five hours straight . . . not tonight, at least. 
"Atta girl," he praises in a sonorous purr. 
And then his hands are everywhere. The finger on your clit is joined by another giving you no reprieve, and the palm that you had been gripping with you own slips free from your hold, joining its opposite to sweep up and take both of your nipples into their fingertips, plucking and rolling. It's wonderfully overwhelming and you have to fight off the unthinking urge to writhe and jerk underneath his ministrations. He might actually kill you tonight. Overload you with pleasure until you're burning and set alight with. Maybe by the end of this, there will just be your bones left. But what a way to go. 
It has you so distracted, caught underneath a blissful haze, that you hardly notice the phone that he's pulled out from of his costumes concealed pockets. You think nothing of it at first, but even in your glazed over mindset you're still able to vaguely muse how familiar the casing is. The color and pattern on the back of the device looks oddly similar to your own. But that couldn't be right. 
His thumb glides across the lock-in screen, tapping in the pin number to login and it shifts into the screensaver. The picture is familiar. Oddly so. It was one that you had taken a few years back of you and Mammon. He was towering over you with his face smooshed against the crown of your head from when you had abruptly tugged him down by one of his arms to fit into the frame. You were beaming in the photograph, riding an adrenaline high from just having gotten off one of the amusement parks more tame roller coasters, lips pulled into a joyful smile while you glanced up at the Sin who was looking a little disgruntled (because you had forced him to take you to Lu Lu World for your date and not his awful, cheap knockoff Loo Loo Land). But even through his displeased, and somewhat surprised expression you could see just the hint of a smile showing. It was one of your favorite pictures, one that came from an even fonder memory. It's your screen saver. That's your phone. A 'business call' he had said. The damned liar. 
"Oh-ho, I figured you would have changed this by now," he comments, amused and no doubt pleased. You feel something akin to embarrassment prickle at you. You were planning on changing it. Honestly, you were. You had just never . . . gotten around to it. You were initially also planning on purging your picture app and deleting the entire folder dedicated to him as well. You just hadn't done that yet either. But more important right now, is how he managed to get his hands on your phone in the first place. Or just what he's planning on doing with it. 
"Mammon, what are you-"
"Ah, ah, ah," he tuts disapprovingly. "What're the rules?"
Despite your curiosity, you close your mouth without further prompting. But even with his hands steadily building up a steady, consuming fire across your body, kneading and stroking your breasts while he continues to circle your clit with his fingertips, you can't tear your eyes away from the phone. Watching with intrigue and a dull sense of dread as he opens up your messaging app and starts searching through the names with the glide of his thumb. He's humming in your ear, low and concerningly cheery. You aren't sure what he's planning and that's what worries you. He pauses the screen with a small, "oop" and then scrolls back up like something caught his eye. It's when the screen pauses on a certain contact that your stomach sinks. 
Hugo - Lottie's coworker 
Your stomach sinks at the sight. And for a moment your brain hopes that you're wrong. There's no way he's actually going to that. He won't. 
"Let's see what kind of sick shit we've got in here." He clicks the name with a fascinated hum. But even then, you can hear the venomous edge to the sound. You don't let yourself watch when starts to read through the text thread. You can't really put attention on anything else really, other than liquid heat and electricity pouring over you, dissipating the concern and focus that briefly had. But there's nothing to be ashamed of regardless. You had hardly done anything with Hugo that could warrant any jealousy. At least not on your end. Yes, you had been cordial with him and maybe even a little intrigued, but that had hardly been anything that qualifies as outright flirting. Even Hugo, apart from some compliments had been pretty PG in the grand scheme of things. 
Your body goes lax against his abdomen when your cunt clenches around his girth, and you try not to twitch from the unanimous, harsh grind and tug from each of his fingers. His body tenses suddenly, coiled up tight like he's physically restraining himself from acting out on something. You're able to pull yourself together enough to glance back down, instinctively searching for the cause behind his apparent distress. Your eyes land on a text, one you vaguely recognize from the beginning, when you had just started talking to Hugo.  
Thursday - 7:43 PM
your ex kind sounds like a asshole. seems like he didnt deserve you, you're better off without him 
Yep. That'll do it.
You can feel the electrical current around Mammon pick up again, hot and sharp, just toeing the line of nearly becoming painful, but instead it has you gasping out in pleasure. Relishing the sensation of the magnetic aura thrumming across your bare skin, humming over your nipples and the wet heat of your cunt. You can feel it prickling over your clit, and it has your toes curling. Your head lolls back on his shoulder letting you catch sight of your reflection in the large mirror built into the wall across the room. You look absolutely debauched. Your skin was visibly peppered with perspiration; if you paid enough attention, you could see sweat glinting on your body like flecks of glitter, gleaming in in silver and gold underneath cast of the exuberant, vintage style chandelier. Your eyes have a clouded over quality to them, almost like you're intoxicated, and you suppose that you are. But the most lecherous and outright sinful is the way that you can see the impression of him appearing from within your stomach with each gulping, ragged breath you take; and the sight of his hands roaming and stroking over your body, strumming you like an instrument that he's so intimately acquainted with is the image of hedonism. So beautifully wicked, but so, so good. 
You easily could have lost yourself to it completely. All of the sensations, the scent of sex and lust in the air. But then it's back. The taste of jealousy, bitter and citrus on your pallet. It's able to rouse you from your sluggish, inebriated state long enough to recognize the muted trill of the ringback tone coming from your phone. But it's difficult to worry over that when the persistent fingers on your clit and plucking at your nipples are steadily tipping you towards that precipice of heat and rapture. Your cunt has started to flutter around his length and your abdomen clenches tight with the build of something heavy and vast rising up over you, ready to consume you from the inside out. 
You can hear the muted click of someone on the other side of the call answering - Hugo, your slow-moving brain supplies.
"Oh wow, he hasn't blocked you yet," Mammon muses aloud. "Now keep quiet. Unless you want 'im to hear."
You should make an effort to get Mammon to hang up the phone. You know that you easily could. The Sin is self-serving and obstinate at the best of times - all the time - but this is something that you could get him to stop doing with a single word. You could tell him to figure out a better way to 'get back' at Hugo and cure his jealousy in another way, and he would. But you don't find yourself even trying to get Mammon to end the call. Something about him being this insistent on proving that you're his has electricity licking up your spine. 
"Hey! This is the useless cunt that I met at the restaurant, right?" He greets, voice deceptively kind despite his words being just the opposite. There's a long pause on the other side of the line before you pick up a reluctant response, which sounds like it might have been a confused, "eer . . . yes? This Mammon, I take it?"
"The one an' only!" He replies jovially, like he doesn't have you a few good strokes off from cumming while he has a person on the line. But then again, that's his entire play. He wants Hugo to hear. Even so, you try to cling onto the rules he had set, biting into your bottom lip in the effort to keep your mouth shut and the whimpers that want to spill out tightly trapped in your chest. "Listen, I feel like we may have gotten off on the wrong foot earlier, so I just wanted to call and set some things straight to make sure we fully understand each other." 
You try to stay privy to their conversation, but it's getting progressively harder to. You have to squeeze your thighs to keep yourself grounded and sat still, but it backfires and only works to tip your closer to ecstasy. You try to pin your attention on anything and everything to keep you grounded. You tear your vision from the mirror instead to look out onto the city, focusing on the thin veil of some kind of smog or cloud that's begun to roll in, the flicker of neon lining the streets, and it appears that a building in the distance has been set aflame; lit up with green fire. That explains the fog - or more accurately, the smoke. 
It's no use though. You can still feel the pleasure fizzling over you skin and welling up inside of you. It's getting more and more difficult to hold off. Even while you try and think about a million different things. Taxes, the missionary position, Extermination Day, clowns.
Oh, wait. Scratch that last one. 
And then, horribly, a strained moan sneaks out from your throat. For a moment you're too caught up in the haze clouding over your head to even register the sound. And you probably wouldn't have if you didn't catch sight of Mammon's delighted, almost maniacal expression grinning back at you from the mirror in your peripheral vision, all sharp edges and a little feral. He looks all too pleased by your slip up. When he speaks next his voice has taken up that low, resonant tone that melds around his accent. "I just wanted to soothe any concern you may have had for my favorite girl. I can promise you she's in good hands. " And then, like the twisted bastard he is, he's lifting the phone from his ear to hold it closer to you like he's tring to capture all of the filthy sounds coming from your body. "I mean, if you could see the way she's soakin' me - " he whistles high and astonished -" it's a fuckin' sight, I tell ya." 
You try to keep your mouth shut so that Hugo doesn't hear and figure out what's going on. But it's difficult to swallow down the noises that Mammon keeps trying to pull from you with his nimble fingers, and then he's gliding his fingertips over your clit in heavy, mean circles that has your back bowing taut, and the seam of his glove catches on the sensitive nerves in a way that has your jaw dropping open. His fingers twists and glide over your nipples to add to the fire, and with just a couple more strokes you're practically blindsided by the molten electricity and bliss that rushes over you in an unforgiving stream. You cum with a loud pornographic cry as you twist and writhe underneath his attention, cunt clenching around his length in a wild spasm while your body tries to wring itself of all of its pleasure. For one moment your mind goes completely blank, leaving you just feel. The world drowns out underneath the onslaught of euphoria that wracks through your entire being, and the only thing that keeps you even remotely present is the cool press of his chest and stomach supporting your back. The chill of him soothes your heated skin, influencing your body to go slack over him. 
You have to remind yourself to breathe, drawing in labored gasps while the pleasant haze of endorphins hums through your veins and thrums within your skull like syrup and static. 
"Like I said!" Mammon says suddenly, reminding you of your current predicament. There was no mistaking what you and Mammon were doing. Hugo absolutely had to know the King of Greed had just made you orgasm while on a phone call. You feel a little flash of embarrassment, but it's so muted and distant. Buried deep and virtually nonexistent. "She's in good hands. So, if I see you anywhere near her, I'll gut you open like a fucking pig and scatter what's left of you all over Hell." 
You hear Hugo's muffled response, a little frantic, skipping over his words but before he can get out the rest of his plea or reassurances, Mammon hands up the call, and carelessly tosses your phone to the side. You don't manage to pick up the sound of a harsh clatter, so you can only hope that the artisan rug saved it from fall damage. You're still too sluggish and dopey to fully register the eager and starved quality that's melded into his lust. But the energy serves to rekindle your own fervor on a kind of subconscious level, even while your body still twitches with subtle aftershocks. He only gives you a small sort of reprieve, slipping his fingertips from your nipples to greedily knead at your breasts. But the touch on your clit doesn't waver it, it only lightens by a few degrees, still swirling and sweeping unforgivingly. You catch his faux pout in the mirror's reflection; pretending to be displeased and disappointed, but you can see the excitement bleeding into his features; lighting up the fiery chartreuse of his stare. "I didn't give you permission to be so noisy," he complains, and his eyebrows pinch close. "It's almost like you wanted him to hear you." 
"I was just giving you what you wanted, " you reply, dipping your tone into something soft and alluring. Sure, maybe it was a little stupid prodding at the Sin of Greed, and you know that you're playing right into his little ploy, but you can't stop yourself. If you tend to his ego some, he might be a little lenient on whatever 'punishment' he has in store for you. You reach a hand up to cradle his cheek, guiding his face to tilt down enough to press against the crown of your head. Affection blooms in your chest when you catch the way that he tries to subtly lean into your palm, trying to soak up its warmth. "That was the point, wasn't it? To prove to him that I'm yours?" 
You can feel his hips twitching underneath you, and the small shift works his cock in you just a little deeper. You gasp at the sensation, still hypersensitive and tender from your pervious orgasm, but even then, it doesn't fail to send a trickle of desire pooling down your back and in the center of your abdomen. Honestly, you're beyond shocked that Mammon has managed to hold himself off for this long. He's never been the one for self-restraint, and the amount that it must have taken to keep him for thrusting up into you must be monumental. That deserves to be rewarded a little bit, right?
Of course, you can't be too heavy handed with your praise, as much as he loves it when people sing him compliments and applaud his endeavors. It can't lean anywhere that makes him feel as though as he's not the one in control. It has to be delicate and subtle. At least while he's still coherent. Once he's a drooling mess, that's a different story. But you'll get to that. 
"Come on, Mammon," you beg, squeezing yourself around his cock while you work your hips against him in faint, gentle swirling motions. His eyelids lower, and you can see his grin waver just a bit, and it might as well as be a visual fracture in his resolve. "I want you to use me. Make me forget him, please." 
The grip he has on your breasts fall and take ahold of your hips, and that's the only warning you get before he's picking you up and lifting you up and down on his cock like a toy. It punches the air from your lungs in a way that's almost violent, and it leaves you scrambling, mindlessly clawing and gripping onto his arms in an effort to orient yourself. You can't even hear yourself anymore, but you're sure that you sound absolutely mindless right about now. You can feel every moan and cry that he forces from your lungs with each thrust. It feels like you're being burned alive, raw and merciless, and it has a fresh round of tears prickling at your waterline. You're still too sensitive, but it hurts so good that if he stopped, you're pretty sure that you might actually die.  
"Damn - fuckin' hell, you're already squeezing me, and I just started," he laughs with a kind of awe and pride. It shocks you completely, because he's right. You can already feel your cunt fluttering around the delicious drag of his girth, the ridges running along his length and the finger gliding over your clit building up the fiery pleasure, making all of your muscles winding up tight in the preparation of another orgasm. But maybe it really isn't all the surprising with the way that he's passionately fucking you onto his cock, like he's determined to have you both finishing as soon as possible. "You're mine. All mine, " he says, reaching up to grip your throat. Not to restrict your breathing, but enough to feel the pressure of his grip. 
"Yes," you agree brokenly, nodding dumbly because that's all you can really manage. "Yours. I'm yours." 
You can feel your grip on reality slipping away and fraying with each sharp grind, until your consciousness and sense of self is as good as a pile of mush. You're completely gone, lost with the confines of your own body and the euphoria soaking in bone deep. Your second orgasm sneaks up on you just as easily as the first, leaving you useless and practically immobile, leaving you to just take it. It isn't long until he reaches his climax, only a couple of thrust later and his release is filling you with a cool rush, and a ragged groan. 
But he's not stopping. He keeps thrusting into you, unrelenting and hungry like he's been caught in some kind of frenzy, and you're all too eager to take the brunt of it. His hands are everywhere, the sharp points of his claws are lethal enough to peek through the tips of his gloves and leave, exquisite, stinging marks in their wake, marking your skin. You can distantly feel his cum trickling out of you, being forced out with every slide in and out of your cunt. It's so nasty. You can hear the wet slap of your hips meeting each other, the breathless sound of your shared moans and swears. You aren't sure how many more orgasms he pulls from you. The both of you. Mind seems to blur together in one useless spill, and you're hardly able to even count the waves of pleasure that crest over you and rolls down and through your body in frothing, hot waves. 
You're coming off of a sort of high when you regain a shred of coherence. Pulled out of the fog when you feel the wet drag of Mammon's tongue sliding up your neck, tasting the salt and lust on your skin. You instinctively tilt your head back, giving him more access to your bared throat. He rumbles, guttural and soft at the display, inspiring a dopey smile to quirk at your lips, and it doesn't fade, not even when the deadly points of his fangs bite down enough to leave superficial bites behind. Neither of you have stopped moving, ceaselessly grinding your hips against each other's, not enough to create space for any decent thrusts, but just enough to create a small spark of stimulation, like you can't bear to stop despite the number of orgasms you've both had. 
"Think you've got one more in you?" He asks, lapping at the blood that has welled up from the bite marks, gently nibbling at the junction of your neck; teeth dragging to leave the stinging impression of them behind. 
"Hell yes," you answer quickly. 
"C'mon then, gorgeous, ride my cock. Show me how much ya missed me." 
He lifts you up again, just enough to reposition you, flipping you around without removing you off of his girth to face him. He lets himself fall back against the cushions and pillows in a relaxed lounge, making it easier for you to place your palms just beneath his chest for support as you perch yourself to bear most of your weight onto the balls of your feet and hands. He's already impatiently jolting his hips against yours while you try and find a comfortable position astride him. You can't find it in yourself to get upset by his restlessness, not when you can feel him physically holding himself back from moving too harshly. Something that requires a large sum of control and delicacy considering how much larger he is compared to you. Despite the size difference, his strength never fails to surprise you, how easily he lifts you around like you weigh nothing. Everything about it makes you embarrassingly turned on. Like how far your thighs have to stretch around his hips until there's a burn in the hinges of your joints just so you can place your legs on either side of him. 
It's enough to have that irresistible hum of pleasure pouring down and over your body, prompting you to lift yourself up his length, moaning and gasping as the ridges placed along his girth brush along your walls. You pull yourself high with your thighs until he's in at just the tip before you impale yourself on the rest of him, taking him in deep in a single thrust, swiveling your hips in your downstroke. The pace that you set is a little unforgiving on your legs, but it's already worth it with that way that his head rolls back into the sprawling pile of cushions. He's definitely just as tender as you are, but Mammon's never been one to shy away from a little overstimulation - something to do with being the Embodiment of Greed maybe, something to do with excess. And with all of the orgasms he's had tonight, you can already tell that he's tipping towards that mindless, drunken headspace that he occasionally achieves. 
"Oh, yeah, that's the stuff," he groans out in that accented lilt, deep and already a little gutted. Even without any pupils, you can tell that his eyes are rolling back in his skull. There's a little bit of drool smeared around his lips, glinting underneath the glow of the lights and it just inspires you to try and drag him in deeper to that blissed out headspace. He's already so close, precariously dangling over that wonderful edge. He just needs a little push. 
"You're feel so good, Mammon," you praise. You catch the way that his hips skip a little in their rhythm at your words. "You're the only one who can make me feel this way. There's no one else like you." 
His eyes lids flutter, but an arrogant grin makes an appearance on his face before quickly melting into a silent, open-mouthed gasp. "O-of course there isn't," he manages to say, even while you can see the rare tint of a monochrome blush staining his cheeks. It fuels your own carnal want, dousing it like gasoline on an inferno, driving you to ride him with even more ardor. He grips onto your waist like he needs the feel of you underneath his palms to stabilize himself underneath the barrage of ecstasy. 
The scent of your shared desire hangs heavy in the air like a special cocktail, a particular type of aphrodisiac that left you a thrall to pure debauchery and instinct. You can practically taste it, melting across your tongue all heavy and musky, saccharine and spice; a flavor that you couldn't find anywhere else if you tried. It's enough to have your body gravitating towards that debilitating pleasure and based on the blissed-out expression on Mammon's face, he isn't far off either. 
"So good, Mammon. It's just you, always you, " you moan, and the place between his brow's crinkles close. Your eyes are barely able to track it when he's propping himself up on a single hand, giving himself the leverage to reach up and loop something thin and smooth around the stretch of your neck. It's strong despite how fine it feels, like a silk thread - webbing. It's webbing. He grins when he tugs you forward with the makeshift collar, curling his body around you like he can't stand any sort of unnecessary space between either of you. His lips meet yours with a relieved groan, asking you to open your mouth with the split point of his togue, nipping with his teeth. You whine and moan into him, thrusting down onto his cock from how his thread tightens around your neck, more of a suggestion than an attempt to restrict your breathing, but it spurs you on even more. The pair of hands on your waist start to wander, one drifting up to cup your ass in a tight squeeze and the other dips low to roll the back of his knuckles over your clit. For a second it makes you lose the steady, deep drag of your pace, and your lungs snag on their breath, making break your kiss with a whine. 
"Don't you dare fucking stop," Mammon demands in a tone that's frayed and little slurred. "Keep going. I wan' it, I want it - fuck." His tucks his head into your neck, tracing the shape of his web with the dexterous glide of his tongue. You can feel his lips moving against your skin in some kind of repetitive chant and it takes a little while for your ruined brain to make sense of it. You can hear him whispering in a hushed, frayed voice: "Mine," over and over again as he licks and sucks at your skin, intent to leave marks behind. 
He pushes his hips up against yours in a punishing pace, plunging his cock up into you, hitting that devastating spot inside of your cunt that has you sobbing. Your hands claw at him, searching and gripping onto the layered fabric of his motley, twisting the material into the clutch of your fists while you try to hold onto the rest of your sanity, but you don't think that you'll be able to. It's all too much too soon. You can't hold on as much as you try to. Not while he grinds a knuckle against your clit, shoving his cock into you relentlessly, making any semblance of a coherent thought evaporate from your head as though they had never been there. You can feel it sweeping over you like you're a pathetic piece of debris caught with the current of a swelling wave. You can feel that magnetic vibration building around his body, catching you in its field and dancing across your skin, letting you know that he's just as close as you are. 
You gasp his name like it might save you, even while you're begging to be eaten alive. It's all so overwhelming, so consuming that you don't know what to do with yourself. How to cope with the scope of the emotions and sensations; the scent of you both and all the sounds bombarding your senses. It isn't a conscious decision when you pull Mammon down a little further and sink your fangs his neck, piercing the fabric that keeps it concealed. But it's hard enough for you to taste something like spiced iron flood across your tongue. 
The reaction it gets from you both is immediate. His body draws up tight while he gasps out a harsh, "fucking hell - shit - " and you can feel him pulse inside of you before you're flooded with another gush of his cum. The feel of it, the chill of it and the sheer amount is enough to trigger your own orgasm. Your vision goes dark, a vignette marring your sight while a white-hot tide takes control of your body, leaving you a passenger in your own mind. And for one blissful moment you don't even exist. You don't have a job, or an apartment with judgmental neighbors. You don't have a favorite food or a particular song that you listen to on repeat. For a moment it's just you and him. 
It takes everything in you to cling onto him. Your wings flare out involuntarily, body twisting while your cunt clings around his girth like it's trying to work him for all he's worth. You can feel that searing bliss in every part of you. From your toes to the pit of your abdomen, making your eyes roll in the back of your skull while you ride out the tail end of your pleasure and everything fizzles into a gentle darkness. For a minute everything is still. Peaceful and gentle while feeling comes back to your limbs and you remember how to breathe. But it's ultimately a familiar scent that guides you back to reality, light with the twinge of leather, earthy, warm and smoky. It sort of smells like money. It smells like Mammon. You lean into it, nuzzling your face into something soft and expanding with breath. 
It's enough to make you open your eyes that you hadn't even realized had closed, to look up. The small motion takes a great amount of strength with how sapped your muscles feel, even with the last bits of lust still thrumming in the air and energizing you, but you manage. Mammon has collapsed back against the cushions with you clutched against his stomach with each of his hands gripping some part of you. Even from this angle you can see the pleased, almost dopey smile on his face as he sightlessly stares up at the ceiling. It's such an uncommon expression to see on him, untainted by his usual snark or hubris, but the rarity of it always makes you cherish them even more. 
But then you see a furrow pinch between his brows and his mouth purses in clear annoyance. It has worry prickling at your skin, nestling in your gut like a block of ice, but before you can ask him what's wrong he's speaking. "I can't believe you were gonna leave me for that shitty little bloke," he grumbles. He tries to sound harsh and unbothered, but you swear you can hear something fragile peeking through the rasp of his voice. 
"I wasn't actually interest in him," you assure, answering honestly, propping your arms on his stomach enough to hold yourself up. "A friend had set me up. I just - I don't know. I was . . . I needed a distraction." 
"Which friend?" He asks suddenly, sounding a little too intrigued.
You squint at him suspiciously, letting a short bout of silence fall over you both. "No. You aren't allowed to kill them." He visibly pouts at that, and this one is actually genuine. You entertain the thought of making a joke. Of steering the conversation somewhere humorous to save the both of you from something that might be too real, too bare. But you know you can't. If you're going to try and do this with Mammon again then these kinds of talks need to happen.  "That wasn't just sex talk, I really didn't want him, Mammon. Not for a single second." 
His gaze sweeps down to you, and you're sure that you catch something vulnerable flit across his expression; eyes minutely widening with what may have been relief, but it was so quick that you barely get any time to register it. He schools his features into something indifferent and nonchalant before you can truly take it in. "Psssh, of course you weren't interested in him. How could you be when you've got me." 
"Exactly," you agree, watching him preen under the comment, inspiring you to lean into his ego a bit to draw him out of whatever dark thoughts may be running around in his head. "It would be stupid if I did."
"Dumb as shit," he agrees eloquently, with his brash charm. 
It has a laugh puffing from your chest, and it's quickly followed by a heavy drowning warmth in your chest, like a sun was caught within your bones. It's purely fond. Full of endearment and love. You love him. Fuck you love him, even if it tears you apart. It might be stupid, a road that leads to a dead end or a perilous cliff, but you couldn't be bothered to stop on your path to possible self-destruction. You don't know if the true scope of your emotions is returned. If Mammon is even capable of feeling something like raw, selfless love. Probably not. Compassion and consideration don't exactly align with his function as the Embodiment of Greed. Of being avarice incapsulated inside a body to fulfil a particular purpose within Hell. But you always held out hope that there was something in there. You've seen the pure affection displayed by Asmodeus for Fizz; living proof that a Sin could be more than its role, its basest instinct. If the personification of Lust could find and express love, then just maybe Mammon could to. 
Wow, look at you, being hopeful in Hell. 
You're broken out of your internal struggle when Mammon shifts, tightening his grip around you to keep you secured to his body as he tilts on his side. He curls himself around you even more until his chin is resting on the crown of your head, engulfing you in the breadth of him and his scent. It's enough to settle the torrent inside of your mind, replacing those insecurities and replacing them with comfort and contentment. You can feel the gentle fuzz of sleep beginning to lap at you, seeping into your limbs and weighing them down. You want nothing more than to sleep. To let yourself fall into the dredges of unconsciousness with the soothing chill of Mammon's temperature wafting over your body like a balm. But it's a little difficult to do that when every inch of you is still damp with sweat and his cum is still steadily pouring down your thighs from around the weight of his length that he's yet to pull out, flowing with each small shift or movement. 
"Mammon?" You ask, listening to the steady draw of his breath, hoping that he hasn't fallen asleep, but even then, the pattern is still too quick for him to be unconscious. You purse your lips, sighing audibly. "Moo?" You try again, and sure enough at the sound of the corny nickname a simple, but questioning grunt rising up in response. 
"We're going to need a bath." 
"Eughhh," he groans, low and already thick with the desire to sleep. "Fuck." 
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elvisabutler · 2 years
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can I request a consider! or a blurb or hc or full on fic of austin looking after p!a during a sub drop 🥺
satisfied and empty inside
summary: austin swears that he'll never let you have a sub drop after hearing your horror stories. he fails this one time. fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: t? this is tricky because sexual things are described but they don't really have sex. so i suppose high t? pairing: austin butler x priscilla actress reader ( little dove verse ) word count: 2441 warnings: the normal warnings apply for this verse. daddy kink. dom/sub dynamics. choking. brief mentions of past relationships that were not at all pleasant. sub drop. anxiety. negative self talk. author’s note: consider this faintly canon for the main verse? i always make the argument that austin never really ever lets dove experience sub drop but maybe that's only for when it's caused by papi. time frame is post met and cannes but pre press tour. you know that little tiny bit of time between them. beyond that, christ anon i adored this prompt and adored you for giving it to me. i truly hope you enjoy and deeply apologize for the wait. also welcome to my first time in forever and an age since i've written a sub drop.
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The first thing you notice, the first thing that you notice when your body slowly drags itself into the land of being awake is that you're cold. There's no reason you should be cold, it's a practically balmy 73 degrees outside and Austin wasn't one to keep the house you two now owned together cold. That would always take some getting used to. The fact that you and Austin after every single ounce of bullshit that you and him put in your way have come out on the other end of things together. Sure, there's still so much you both have to work on with your own therapists and your couple therapist but here you are with your boyfriend, your dom, your- Austin.
Except, you're not here with him in the moment, are you? He's- he should be here in the bed but he's not, he's- where is he? Did he leave you? Were you that bad last night? You had- the scene was fine you thought, everything about last night was fine- almost perfect even but you're waking up alone in bed and Austin- Daddy hasn't been there for long enough for his side of the bed to get cold.
Maybe- no, Austin promised. Austin had said the two of you were fine, that things were going to get- going to be better. It wasn't perhaps the healthiest thing that you two had immediately gone back to being wrapped up in each other, you deciding to move at least temporarily to LA even while keeping your apartment in New York. It was just that being apart from one another after everything, after you had called his phone in the hotel shaking and so needy that you'd have thought his touch was the only thing that could cure you. That was the thing though, Austin knows that you- Austin knows more than anything at least for right now, you need to feel him touching you more often than not. You might not have been touch starved with other people, but you had missed his so much that it was like a missing limb. You had missed him like a missing limb in those hours you weren't busy and he wasn't talking to you because of course, just like Elvis and Priscilla somehow you break up and can't even do a clean break.
It's different now, it's supposed to be different now because you're here and he's here and you're supposed to work things out, make things better between the two of you so that you can build a truly solid relationship. The relationship is supposed to be between you and Austin, not you as Priscilla and him as Elvis or between Priscilla and Elvis. Having a solid relationship means not leaving the person alone when you said you wouldn't without a note or a little text or a voice memo. Austin would leave a message somehow someway but here you are with an empty bed and no note. You roll over, shivering despite your best efforts of curling into the covers as if they'll protect you from the thoughts that are starting to swirl around in your mind like a witch's brew in a pot. There's no missed calls, no missed messages, nothing missed on your phone or on the nightstand near it.
There is just you and a bed with half of it cold. There is just you and no Austin. There is just you and your mind. There is just you and the ghosts of people who are dead or still living but have themselves burrowed into your very psyche.
The crash hits you like the sudden drop of an elevator and you kept help the way a quiet whimper leaves your lips at it. You can feel where Austin's hand was around your neck, clenching and flexing and whispering such filth into your ear. "My good girl, taking my cock so well even when she can't breathe. Think I could leave a mark? Think the paparazzi would ask you what you did to earn that?" You can feel the sting of where his hands had slapped your ass, where he had palmed your ass and squeezed. You can feel the burning trail of his kisses only to be replaced by the cool air against your skin right now. None of those things are happening right now, the person you did them with isn't here right now. You're alone.
You're going to be alone forever aren't you? He's going to break things off with you like you did with him. This is him breaking things off with you like you did to him. Leaving him without a word until you decided to talk. You- He doesn't love you, he loves the you he met on set. He loves you as Priscilla not you and you and only you. He's probably meeting up with Kaia or some other new girl. He won't come back until you've left the bedroom. Or maybe he just wants you to fuck- to let out his dominant side- his daddy side so that whatever girl he's dating doesn't have to take it because they don't want to. Maybe him and Kaia never had broken up. It feels as if your chest has caved in on itself your lungs struggling to bring air into your body as you start to cry. He promised- He said he loved you, why isn't he here with you. Why are you alone again? Why isn't your collar on- nevermind that Austin had taken it off the night before because you had wanted to just feel his bare hand against your neck.
The tears start to fall before you realize what's happening as you curl even tighter into the blankets. The ceiling fan that's circling above you makes the subtle creaking noise it always does and it feels like the loudest thing in the room. A reminder that as much as you want to try with Austin again he has to want to try with you, has to want to be with you. Time passes as you cry, you think, the numbers on the clock by the bed not really registering until you hear your bedroom door open and a cheerful oh you're up before you swear you hear a curse.
It just makes you cry harder and has you sitting up and curling your knees to your chest as best you can as you try and wipe your tears because it hurts and you feel everything right now and you can't shut off your brain and and and-
"Dove?" Austin's voice feels like it's in a tunnel, like he's in the far away place you're certain he's in. After all, his side of the bed was cold when you woke up without him. You register his side of the bed sinking with his weight and his warm hand on your shoulder. Austin always does feel like your own personal furnace. You wonder if he felt that way for the other girls he's been with. "Oh my- my little dove."
Austin is there. Austin is touching you. Austin- Daddy is there. Breathing comes back in a rush and you take one, two, three shaky breaths before you feel Austin's arms wrap around you and you choke out a single word. "Where?"
He's confused for a moment before he realizes that you're asking him where he was. Asking him where he had run off to and left you alone. He doesn't know what time you woke up only that he came into the bedroom ready to wake you up with a kiss and instead found you crying looking as small as you could in the bed. You tense in his arms, still unsure that he's actually there or that you deserve having him around you but you don't shake his arms off, don't force him to stop touching you. "I- I thought I told you, little dove. I had a bunch of early interviews, didn't want to wake you up. I was going to take you out to brunch or lunch when I got done. You- I'm here."
"But you weren't." You hate how it sounds coming out of your mouth, all pectualance and sadness and you sound so much younger than you are when you say it. "You left me alone and it's- it's cold, Austin."
His arms tighten around you as he starts to stroke your back slowly, his lips kissing the crown of your head. "I know- and Daddy's sorry about that, dove. So so sorry about that. I should have written a note for you or sent you a text. I haven't even left the house. I've been in the office." He pauses, exhaling a little shakily. "I'm warm, Y/N, my perfect little dove, my girl- no my woman who puts up with me being an idiot and who's had my heart since our first hello."
Your fingers move to the dove necklace on his neck, it's almost identical to yours, but just subtly different enough that it's uniquely his. You press your own initials into your thumb as you fiddle with it and Austin does the same thing with your necklace around your neck. Neither of you speak for a moment, your tears turning into a sea of shivers before you finally muster up the ability to speak. "I thought- I thought you changed your mind."
About us is what goes unsaid. Because you've been there before, this isn't- he isn't Papi but it feels like it in the moment. Feels as if you're abandoned all over again. Feels as if you're tossed in the trash because you're not useful anymore, you're not the one for him any more and it crushes you. Austin lets out a huff of air and shakes his head.
"I didn't change my mind when you left me in Australia, if I didn't then, I don't think I ever really will." The way he moves to tilt your head up, grabbing your chin lightly and looks at you betrays the fact that he knows you're going to try and argue with him. "Ignoring the girls, dove. Just like I ignore the dates you went on."
A hint of a smile crosses your lips before you frown again, still shivering and trying to burrow into his arms, almost as if you want to become one with him. "Promise? I know I'm being stupid- and you know I'm not-"
"Dove- Y/N- you're not stupid. And I know you're usually so strong and tough and I love that about you but I left you alone and you- you dropped without me here. Because I wasn't here to see what was happening." He pulls you in for a soft kiss. "I promise. You're stuck with me until you get tired of me, because I'm not getting tired of you any time soon."
You still feel drained, still feel like the world has closed in on itself but there's a glimmer of sunshine there, a glimmer of hope your mind is latching onto in an attempt to pull you up from the depths that only brightens as you look at Austin and feel and smell Austin all around you. "Can we take a bath?" You ask softly, knowing the heat of it will help you calm down, will help bring you back up quicker.
Austin hums before nodding. "Can I get you to eat a snack first? I'll order in some food, we'll run a bath and we can just-"
"Yes." You answer, cutting him off before he can finish and looking a little alarmed when you do. "Yeah, I'd- I'll eat something and I don't- I just don't want to be alone. I need you, Au-Daddy."
Austin doesn't say a word for a moment before looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars. It's a little mind-boggling to see that look even after everything and your lips finally actually do fully form a smile so touched that you can't do anything but. When he finally speaks nuzzling your hair. "I always give you what you ask for and need, Dove." He moves to get off the bed despite your groan and whimper of protest at the loss of his body heat and his body in general. Once he stands up on the side of the bed he pulls you over and up next to him. "Come on, quick snack and then bath."
It doesn't take you a second to burrow yourself back under his arm as he pulls you close to his chest. In fact, in a fit of what he likes to pretend is genius he maneuvers you to be in front of him and allows himself to just walk with you holding onto him in the front. It's silly and a bit uncomfortable but it works well enough and makes you happy enough that he deals with it. You eat a bagel because it's easiest thing to scarf down in the kitchen before you and him make that same walk back to the bedroom and into the bathroom.
He takes his time as the water runs to take off your nightgown, placing soft kisses at every bit of exposed skin as he reveals them. You're still shivering a bit but sometimes it's from your own emotions while other times it's from the kisses his lips give you. Climbing into the tub after he manages to get in there is a bit of an adventure with how fuzzy your brain feels but you manage, Austin's arm snaking around your waist and pulling you up against his chest. "Starting to feel better?" He asks, his lips caressing your ear in a gesture you can't help but enjoy.
"A little." A simple answer but it's the only one your brain can wrap itself around. You pause and realize that you've stopped shivering. "I'm warm."
Austin's lips curl into a smile that you can feel against your skin. "I don't know, I think you're pretty hot."
That glimmer of hope, that thing your brain started to cling to explodes like a supernova, filling your brain with just enough happiness to make you actually laugh. It's not fixed- you know from experience pulling you out of this state takes a bit longer but it's a start.
His smile widens and he nips at the back of your neck. "There's my little Dove. Love you."
You hum a little happily and drowsily as you lean back and settle yourself against him as he slowly starts to bathe the both of you. "Love you too, Daddy."
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abybweisse · 1 year
Note
People who don't believe in or even Hate the undertaker=cedric theory always have tow reasons, 1,they simp over ut so bad that they can't tolerate him having kids with another person 2, it will make him absurd, because love makes things cheap and not interesting, which I highly disagree with,because if there was anything ever between them I highly doubt it was lovey dovey and healthy, I mean we have ut who is a literal death God and I don't see him as a caring and gentle person like many do at all, and then we have claudia p ( I meant c'mon she is the grandmother of ciel and the mother of vincent, just imagine how deranged and manipulative she herself was) so I really think the relationship between tham was fascinating although I don't think we will ever get a flashback of them because it's not relevant to the current story... just wanted to know ur opinion on this.
Some UT x Claudia/Cloudia thoughts
Well, anon, it's an interesting take, and I agree with certain elements of it, but I have to disagree with the rest.
Some fans might simp over him so much they can't stand the thought of him canonically with anyone, and some might find the "I did it for love" motive to be too cliché and boring. But there are other reasons I've seen for why detractors or critics of the theory don't like it.
Many of them can't handle the idea that a reaper could or would mate with a human. I believe it's entirely possible within the Kuroverse; it's just forbidden. Well, when you are a reaper who has deserted your post, why would you care anymore about the rules? In fact, I think he could have his own motives for mating with humans... like giving his human offspring traits that are supposed to be reserved for reapers. Or even with the intention of decreasing the number of new reapers (if they are reborn to reaper couples, as I theorize). A relatively small chunk of the fandom doesn't want Undertaker to be Vincent's father... because they ship those two guys together. Though, finding out they are father and son might not entirely stop them. 😑
It's possible that a relationship between Undertaker and Claudia/Cloudia wouldn't be the healthiest thing for either of them... but I can totally see it being lovey dovey 🥰. Don't forget that well-written characters aren't so one-sided, and they are allowed to be -- for example -- manipulative and cruel and loving and generous, depending on the circumstances. Undertaker can be gentle and caring; he might have been even more so before she died. Grandma P might have been strong willed and possessing of an evil streak a mile wide, but she also might have fallen head over heels for the most attractive male character in the series, according to Yana-san herself. Don't forget that despite him being cruel and manipulative as queen's watchdog, Vincent does truly love his family -- something else Yana-san has previously said. Why wouldn't people like Undertaker and Claudia/Cloudia produce children like Vincent and Francis/Frances? They seem exactly like the sort of offspring I'd imagine from a pairing like that. They might have had children together for more than one reason, but I believe love is one of them. An act of rebellion might be another. 😏
I sure expect at least one flashback of them together, since it's totally relevant to what's going on. Remember when Sebastian asks our earl just how far back they have to follow the series of events to figure out which culprits to target for revenge? Well, I think our earl's problems largely started with that pairing. Or, more specifically, started with people who didn't appreciate that pairing. I think it's why she died when (and however) she did. I think it adds to the various reasons why the Phantomhives were attacked in 1885. Forget the fans who don't like the pairing; there must be someone in the story that doesn't like it, either. Like the queen... or John Brown....
When Sebastian asks Undertaker what his relationship to the Phantomhive family is, he says he'll leave it up to imagination. But, eventually, I expect him to explain it anyway. And that's when we'd likely get at least a panel or two of them together. We could even get several chapters of them together in a long flashback.
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neuroticbookworm · 1 year
Text
Thai QL Favorites Tag Game
Tagged by @telomeke, thanks friend! ^^
Credit: this game was created by @thatgirl4815 as Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.
Favorite Thai QL: Bad Buddy, my beloved. I've watched very few QLs, and Bad Buddy is the one that I often go back to when I need a pick-me-up. It may not be perfect (Wai, my beloathed) but the show never fails to make me feel deeply whenever I revisit it.
Favorite Pairing: I share @lurkingshan's opinions on branded pairs, so I'm gonna answer with a pair that I think is well-matched in terms of on-screen talent, and therefore, my favorite: FirstKhao. GMMTV took two bad bitches and said "We're gonna pit them against each other and they're gonna love it" and boy, so do we.
Most underrated actor: I saw Sing Harit almost drown Gun Atthaphan in Not Me and I've been in love ever since. I have no reasonable metrics to know if he's actually underrated, other than the fact that he doesn't show up on my dash as much as I would like. I want to see more of him, and I can't wait to get to The Warp Effect, where he wears.. *checks notes* a puppy mask? Ummmmmmmm
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Favorite Character: Time to get controversial, baby!
(tagging my ToL gang @waitmyturtles, @lurkingshan, @manogirl. Keep the getaway car running, frens. We might need to make a quick exit)
*clears throat* Khai from Theory of Love.
Wait.
WAIT.
WAIT. HERE ME OUT.
I absolutely love the fact that Khai is so well-written that half the audience can't stand to watch him and the ones who make it through either viciously hate him or absolutely love him. I love that he was unabashedly awful in the first half, and I love that his redemption arc was gradual. Was he still a dipshit in some moments in the second half? Yes. Was it realistic and in-character? Also yes. I love a character who can fully acknowledge his mistakes and wholeheartedly apologize and strive to do better in the future. So, to sum up, *hugs him close to my chest like a stuffie* KHAI, MY UTTERLY BELOVED!
Favorite Side Character: Hoon from I Told Sunset About You. The fact that called Teh a crybaby when he was having a complete breakdown in Hoon's arms cemented his place in my heart.
Favorite scene in a QL: The AlanWen conversation scene at the outdoor diner in Moonlight Chicken, episode 5. Yes, I'm a masochist, thank you for asking. I'm also a staunch Alan apologist, and will defend my poor little meow meow to the ends of the Earth. (ha, me clever)
Favorite line in a QL: "Why is your wall so high?" -- Wen to Uncle Jim, Moonlight Chicken, episode 6.
Most Anticipated QL (& why): Only Friends -- doy.
Healthiest relationship in a QL: My Sunshine babies, Mork and Tawan from My Ride. They were so good to each other and they got to know each other as friends before moving into a romantic relationship, and the transition felt as natural as possible. The drama was minimal and there were no stupid misunderstandings for the sake of moving the plot along.
Most toxic relationship in a QL: VegasPete in KinnPorsche. I also co-sign @lurkingshan's pick, ToyBoss from My Ride. If anyone messes with my bookshelves the way Toy does at Boss' apartment, they will get thrown off the balcony.
Guilty pleasure series: I don't have one, fam. I'm very new to the QL town and the ones I feel guilty for watching were not pleasurable in any way.
Most underrated series: La Pluie, the love of my life. I've gushed all over my blog about this show, week after week. I don't think I can say anything more that hasn't already been said, so I'm just gonna link the La Pluie meta round up, and invite you to ponder truly how amazing a show must be to inspire these many incredible metas.
I am a full three weeks late to this game, so I'm pretty sure everyone has already done it. So if you made it this far, and still haven't participated, consider yourself tagged, my friend! Toodles!
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jovenshires · 9 months
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I KNEW IWKS PATRICK AND JEREMY HAD SOMETHING GOING ON OMG!!! also TOMMY SEQUEL??? YES PLEASE I WOULD LOVE THAT! sobbing over damien having something so complicated with shayne going on😭😭😭
dude... they don't know it yet but they might have the healthiest romantic relationship out of the entire iwks cast. besides maybe keith. but anyway those two be like "i don't know how to dull my edges so they don't hurt other people but you're the only one who can handle me as i am" "it doesn't matter if we've been together four years or four hours i feel like i've known you all my life" "when you are angry let me be the one who takes it; i'd rather be burned by you than be nothing to you at all" and what im just supposed to be normal about that? i am spinning iwks patrick and jeremy around in my brain at all times.
tommy sequel!!!!!! the entire sequel plot is In My Brain but i know its gonna be a long one so. buckle up for the wait for that. (im focusing on shorter projects rn bc iwks truly took all my energy <3) anyway i cannot wait for you all to hear his inner monologue he's one of my favorite characters ive ever written
yeah............ i only plan to touch on it in the one-shot that goes over all the background characters of iwks, simply bc i don't think i could do damien's whole Deal justice in long form, but if anyone deserves a side story who isn't gonna get one, it's them. poor dames. let's just say we haven't heard from jackie yet on the whole thing and someday we will <3
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booksandabeer · 2 years
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so uhhhh *slides you ten bucks* *twirls hair awkwardly* I hear you're into fics that destroy you, huh? As a fellow Angst Queen, might I maybe ask for... recs? *bats lashes imploring* Pretty please?
Hello fellow Angst Queen...
*takes ten dollar bill* ...so you wanna get wrecked, huh? Destroyed? Utterly ruined? Ok then, step right this way.
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I tried to go for varying levels of angst. As a general reminder, since these are all angsty, sad, and/or pretty dark fics: Please, for the love of God, check the tags before you read!
there must have been a moment where we could have said no by magdaliny | M, 155K | Part 1 in quiet americans series
Authors summary: The Soldier remembers this: he wakes up in the snow.
A Bucky recovery story about finding and leaving behind identities, learning to live again, and living well. The first two chapters focus on Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier, so yes, it gets very dark. A beautifully-written, at times hard to read story about the breaking and re-making of a person. And about falling in love.
an unfamiliar coast by brideofquiet | M, 19K | Part 1 in new topography series
Authors summary: He doesn’t have a concept of how long ten years is anywhere. Not even before he’d been yanked out of a natural, linear progression. He’d been six years old once; he’d been sixteen and then he’d been twenty-six. But the breadth of time between those moments—what the hell is ten years?
A long, long time. That’s all he knows. (Bucky goes to war. Ten years later, he comes home.)
A mid-century Shrinkyclinks AU in which Steve never went to war and Bucky escapes from HYDRA in the 1950s. What happens when one of them has tried to move on from grief and loss, and live his life, and the other didn't even have a life for ten years? A beautiful story with an even better sequel!
From Tralfamadore, With Love by newsbypostcard | E, 106K | Part 1 in From Tralfamadore series
Authors summary: In 2018, Steve, Sam, and Bucky embark on a mission to explore a Hydra-owned warehouse when a kid with mutant powers sends Steve 18 years into the future. Steve's just as in love with Bucky as he was when he left, but for Bucky it's been a long 18 years. As he gets used to life in 2036 and the flaws in Bucky's idyllic life expose themselves, Steve also has to manage a suspiciously ubiquitous security force, a Brotherhood of Mutants, and old competing loyalties among his aged friends. There's a Bucky in 2018 waiting for him to come home, but if he does that, it means leaving this Bucky behind for a third, unforgivable time. How can he choose?
The summary is pretty self-explanatory, and I really don't want to reveal anymore than that. Much of the tension and emotional drama in this fic comes from not knowing what's going to happen, and from desperately guessing at how on earth the author is going to solve Steve's impossible dilemma. I loved the way the author explored the relationship of a Steve and a Bucky who have been separated for two seconds and 18 years, respectively. Also, possibly the best use of a Fleetwood Mac song in fanfic ever.
When the Season Comes Around by theheartischill | T, 34K
Authors summary: The other problem is that Steve loves him, and Bucky isn't sure he remembers how to love.
An all-time fave Bucky recovery fic of mine. Featuring a Bucky who saves himself, a perfectly imperfect Steve, and one of the healthiest depictions of a Steve/Bucky relationship I've ever read (not that I don't usually love a little bit of codependency) . There are so many moments and lines in this that will absolutely destroy you. It's sad, and difficult, but also hopeful, and patient with its characters. It's so fucking smart in every way, I honestly don't feel qualified to even talk about this. For me, this is as close to perfection as it gets.
Little Animal Lives by adeepeningdig | T, 25K
Authors summary: In which Bucky Barnes emerges from cryofreeze, gets therapy, buys a house, some chickens and a few horses, and finds himself under the care of a few capable women and one capable girl; and in which Steve Rogers comes home.
The summary almost makes this sound like a semi-fluffy cabin/farm fic. And in a way it is that, but it's also so much more than that. Features beautiful writing (there's a description of love in the story that takes my breath away every time I read or even think about it), wonderful OCs, an extremely well-done second-person POV (please don't let this deter you from reading this fic, I beg you), and a "cure" for Bucky's trigger words that I don't think I've ever seen done or explained in quite that way anywhere else. Tender, heartbreaking, haunting. Go read it.
+1
Ok, and if all of these still aren't angsty enough for you, it's time to bring out the big guns. As in the biggest gun I can think of:
How You Leave by Dreadnought | E, 226K | Major Character Death!
I’ll say it right up front—and this isn’t a spoiler—this is a story about Bucky Barnes dying. And he really does die in it. There’s no last-minute miracle cure here. Be warned and read the tags thoroughly before you decide whether this is for you. In this fic, Bucky escaped HYDRA sometime in the early 90s, joined SHIELD and took up the mantle of Captain America. In 2012, just when Steve is discovered in the ice and returns to his life, Bucky’s serum stops working and his body slowly starts to degrade with only one inevitable outcome. This is a tough read. It’s very much a story about death and the process of dying, about grief and loss. But it’s also about life and what it means to “live a good life.” The author used the tag “learning to live through dying” and that’s exactly it. It’s a story about self-acceptance, reckoning with one’s legacy, re-learning what it means to be truly emotionally vulnerable, reconnecting with the past and at the same time learning to let go of it. And it’s about love. So much love. It’s a very sad story but not a bitter or depressing one. It broke my heart slowly, thoroughly, completely. It’s fucking incredible. I will never read it again.
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Happy crying, everyone!
(I might do a part 2 of this at some point?)
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kiefbowl · 2 years
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I'm messaging you because your answers have always been so well written and grounding. I also hope to get some input from other women that have experience with or advice for what I'm dealing with.
How does one deal with feeling ugly to the point where one avoids almost all mirrors and cries after looking at candid pictures of themselves? Since getting into radical feminism, I've stopped wearing make up and shaving. I've also seriously picked up weightlifting so I'm quite muscular (not ripped though). Physically, I'm the healthiest I've ever been but most of the time, I feel like a monster.
I've always had some kind of body dysmorphia so I cannot even be sure how objective my view of myself is. The only times I've felt "beautiful" where when I had anorexia, wore make up, shaved and dressed in a feminine way.
But... I don't want to *need* to feel beautiful. I could never get myself to starve/wear make up/shave/dress up again, I just want to *be*. Why does simply *being* cause me so much anguish? Why do I hate "being perceived", why do I give it so much importance? How do I stop caring about what others, especially people I don't even like/know, think about me? It also does not help that I'm het-partnered. Sometimes I feel like the only thing that can heal me is to escape to a remote forest, literally not being perceived by anyone for some time. Is this something that just needs time? I'm turning 26 this year, I feel like this problem should have stayed with teenaged me :(
Idk idk... maybe it's time to consider therapy. Sometimes it gets so bad I cannot leave the house. Thank you for any help and I'm sorry to offload this baggage. I would love to hear any radfem-aligned advice :(
I think you should follow your instincts about therapy. I wish I could come up with some amazing new words strung in a way that's going to alter your life, but I don't think I can. I can tell you that if we met, I wouldn't think you're ugly, I'm positive about this even though I've never seen you. I can tell you that I personally know many women who can leave the house no matter what they look like, including me. Not all of those women are happy about it, but they still can. I can tell you that ultimately, I don't put a whole lot of value towards "beauty" for myself, but I'll admit not every day is easy. Generally, I find it easy, but even still I have days where it isn't, despite everything else I believe. You're not alone in that regard.
Not being able to leave the house is something I would consider debilitating, it's something you should take seriously. Even if it's only once in a blue moon, it's more than me. It's more than most people. Most people can leave the house when they need to even in their deepest despair, so if you really can't because you're afraid of how you look and feel about your image and how you're perceived, I would call that debilitating anxiety. It's not frivolous, it's not silly, and you deserve to be well.
When searching for therapists, if you choose that route, look for licensed psychologists or psychiatrists. both can have a talk therapy practice, but generally speaking psychiatrists can prescribe drugs while most psychologists don't (depends on the state and other factors). Many people sell "counseling" without necessarily being licensed or having a doctorate. It's not necessarily wrong, but I would recommend going with someone who's received their doctorate for actually therapy. Remember, that with talk therapy, that's a relationship you're building with your therapist, it can take time to come up with strategies that work for you as they get to know you. Talk therapy might also not be for you, in which case seeing a psychiatrist right away might be a better option as they might get down to the brass tacks and seek a diagnosis quickly, though they might want to prescribe something to you quickly. Weigh these options down, but I do think talking to someone and getting an opinion with a professional will help you. Just like with any medicine, you're allowed to seek out second (or even third or fourth or more) opinions.
I really hope you can find some peace. I'm rooting for you. Keep striving, sis. <3
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velvetineblue · 11 months
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What do you think the fandom for your character would be like? Are they a fan favorite, a love to hate villain, derided for whatever reason, or something else?
By contrast, what would their haters dislike about your character? Is it a petty complaint? A mischaracterization of the character or their intentions? Are they just a woman in a largely male-centric series?
What is the quote between your character and their love interest/whoever they might be shipped with that their fans would latch onto? ( i am here...for taiquinn content any day :DDD )
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What do you think the fandom for your character would be like? Are they a fan favorite, a love to hate villain, derided for whatever reason, or something else? This is tough; I don't really know how other people see him ! But to me . . . I know that I do not see Tai as being the 'main character' or fan fave in a potential narrative. I know if I were ever going to pitch a show using my OC's, he wouldn't be the main character: not in a bad way, like it's not that I don't think he can carry that role!! It's just that I think his best and most natural position is ... as part of a duo. Or part of a group. I think he's the type of character who may not nessecarily be the fan favorite, but if you took him out of the cast . . . the group would suddenly feel very off. The chemistry would be off, and it feels a lot emptier without him. He contributes a lot to the 'heart' of the group -- perhaps more than anyone realizes, until he's not there, and his absense is suddenly felt very strongly. I think he is a glue or essential member that most people like, but only a rare niche part of the fandom LOVES to the point of like, caring enough to write fic about or make fanworks that focus on him, heh. but those niche people who do obsess over him individually are super cool ; ) bahahah By contrast, what would their haters dislike about your character? Is it a petty complaint? A mischaracterization of the character or their intentions? Hmm... well, the way he experiences love can be very intense. Obsessive. All-consuming. Unhealthy; problematic, sometimes. I know from feedback I've seen & gotten before that some people understandably don't like that... and that's fine ! His personality is the result of trauma that manifested in a variety of ways: some of it unfolded in a positive way, into healthy coping mechanisms, but a lot of it . . . very much did not. But ... I'm not the kind of writer who cares about giving all my characters positive character devolpment that makes them their 'best', healthiest self. Some people say that's romantasizing or 'normalizing' unhealthy attachments, but, idk ... I think it's a 'to each their own' thing. Because for myself, I prefer seeing characters/relationships I can relate to in media, rather than characters/relationships I aspire to be/have? I hope that makes some sense... But tbh, I really wouldn't care if anyone dislikes him, for any reason— whether it's a valid reason or not. ( Excluding racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. Then ur a lil bitch baby. ) But other than that... not every character is for everyone ???? And I mean that both in the sense that you can't possibly expect everyone to like your characters, but also literally: not every character is written for ME to like. There are characters out there that I LOATHE or feel absolutely nothing for: but they reach their intended audiennce: other people in the fandom will feel represented by that same character, and/or that character brings them great comfort/entertainment... so yeah. I truly do not care when someone hates my characters JASJAJ. It doesn't offend or bother me at all; I will simply tip my hat to them and suggest they seek out other characters who do speak to them!! : D
What is the quote between your character and their love interest/whoever they might be shipped with that their fans would latch onto? ( i am here…for taiquinn content any day :DDD ) BLESS U, FERRE, for I too am here for Taiquinn content any day !! I have no idea what quotes potential shippers would latch onto ( if there's one thing I learned from answering these asks, it's that I actually have no idea what fandoms like & how they perceive things??? ksksksk WHY DID I EVEN REBLOG THIS MEME???????? ) , but to give this an answer, I went through their threads and found many quotes from Lynnie's replies that I love, hehe. THERE'S MANY I COULD PICK, but I think I'll say this one 'cause it summarizes/depicts many things about them that I love &lt;3 “I missed that. This. Us, doing what we do best.” Trouble? Violence? She means being side by side, connected, looking after each other - what was taken away from them when they were apart. “I said something earlier. Something that I know hurt you. I keep on thinking and… I don’t know if it’s you I’m truly mad at. I believe I’m mad at.. This world. This world that rejects us, that rejects the life we’re living in a way we’re never safe to exist together. A life that’s made of This. Of having to run away.” She pauses. Each one of her pause leaves her voice suspended in the atmosphere, with a thought, a look, a caress on his hand. “But… I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.” I think this shows the duality of why they are so good together. Taiquinn work so well together because they have shared ideals, a shared goal, and shared interests. They both want to fix the world, because they consider it broken and unjust. They both enjoy thrills, action; they like playing games and challenging others. It's easy to see how they were drawn to each other and why they make a good team: they have very obvious compatibilities right there on the surface, which anyone with eyes can see asjajj But Quinn also mentions their more private inner world together, which is not necessarily apparent to others: their relationship is not all about how fun it is being rebellious and revolutionary and beating people up together; it's also about them looking after each other. (The 'something' that hurt Tai was her saying he had 'abandoned' her. And that hurt him deeply because... ) Another thing that bonds and glues Taiquinn to each other on a more intimate level is that they became each other's safe place. The safe, warm, loving home that neither of them experienced before they found each other. Both of them grew up in unstable homes without ever feeling safe, without ever feeling truly seen or heard, and without a family they could rely on... and so they did for each other what nobody else did for them. They protect each other. They can trust each other completely. They understand each other. They built the home and family that never had, with each other. So they have these two very strong reasons they are bonded together, and sometimes those two things are even at odds !! For example, they both want to change the world for the better: but it's hard to 'look after each other' when you're always making yourselves targets... 🤔 But despite how complicated that dilemma is, they make it work, because yes their lives are constantly full of chaos and things blowing up and unpredictability... but THEY remain always there for each other: the one stable, reliable, trustworthy, dependable thing you can always count on is that Tai will be there for Quinn and vice versa. IS WHAT I'M SAYING MAKING ANY SENSE IDK I feel like I just rambled a lot, but basically. tl;dr: they are chaos gremlins with a cause, and they love it, and wouldn't have it any other way............ but the one constant, reliable, faithful thing in each others live is their love and trust in one another. and they also wouldn't have that any other way, either. so it's like they get the best of both worlds: the revolution, AND the comfort of each other < 3
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Hi there, Bababird!!! Hope you're doing well 💗💗💗 Mayyybe 🎵 for Cassandra if you have any? I love how you've written her in your Sparrow/Cass fic btw - I still think about it an unhealthy amount dbfkhabfskhbs. And since the fandom on tumblr has collectively agreed that it's his day, mayhaps a 🎵 for Hermie as well hehe :]c
aw shucks she called me Bababird hehe Hi Happi!!! Thank you- I hope you're doing well too! I *definitely* have some for Cassandra! 😅 For better or for worse though a lot of them are either in the context of Cass/Sparrow or Cass/Nicky- so apologies in advance for any rambles I go on about either of those two ahaha I promise in either case things will eventually wrap around to being about Cass (and songs)!
Also, if you'll humor me, I don't think I'll be able to help myself but ramble a bit about the fic as well- it's just an easy way to talk about how I see Cassandra! 💜 ^_^* I'm very very flattered that you enjoyed her that much! You know at first I was maybe gonna do thing's from Sparrow's POV but then I was like- "PFF, fuck that, let's try to figure out what's going on in Cassandra head!"- it's the least she deserves, really.
And I know I'm too late for his "b-day", but I do have some Hermie songs as well! Mostly in the context of Oakworthy though ahaha... Those will be at the end! Edit: actually just the one this time around aha sorry I got lazy
(*slaps post* this baby can fit so many tangents! Sorry in advance for how stupid long this is!)
Okay *well*, let's start with a simple one that's just about Cass yeah? I can't say I've listened to much of their music in general, but "That's My Girl" by Fifth Harmony is *definitely* a Cassandra song for me!
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There are a few lyrics in this one that standout for me in this one- but honestly it's also just the general vibe. I see Cassandra as someone who's very independent and hardworking, and also someone very capable of continuing to move forward in spite of hardships and "roll with the punches", so to speak (and Taylor definitely gets this from her hehe for sure for sure). Really the more I think about Cassandra, she's kind of a fucking badass LOL. Splitting from Nicky didn't stop her from staying on top of career all the while maintaining probably one the (if not the) healthiest of parent-child relationships in the show with her son, and really I just love that for her.
That said, for a few standout lyrics...
Yeah, who's been working so damn hard? You got that head on overload? // You've been down before. You've been hurt before. You got up before. You'll be good to go, good to go. // Get mad independent and don't you ever forget it // Nod if you've been played by every boo just tryna show you off. Thought he was the best you ever had, until he cut you off. // ain't nothin (x3) put your heart and your soul in it!
(also *points at Cassandra* that's my girl!!!)
ok ok next again if you'll humor me, I need to ramble about Sparrow for a bit in the context of the fic so that I can then ramble about Cassandra LOL.
So, ok, firstly I must confess that like, for me, I tend to read canon Sparrow as allo-aro (alloSparo? Maybe just Sparo... heh). Less popular of an opinion still is that I actually quite like that for him haha. And so for *me*, in the fic, he's prolly like aro and demisexual? That said, I know that ace Sparrow (Sparoace, Space- you get me it's funnier to do it this way) is very dear to many of you (which tbh I super understand), most especially the people who I most wanted to read the fic! So... I wanted to write something that was compatible with both interpretations? Not as a burden! I liked the challenge of trying to write something that was *sensual* but not inherently *sexual* (and in that regard... I think I did an *ok* job aha I'm sure there are certain parts that might be pushing it for some people but I had to be honest with myself about what I wanted to write too!)
Of course, as *you* know Happi, I'll still gladly drop aromantic Sparrow for a ship that tickles my fancy (and in fact I actually like these two in a romantic context as well even if it's not my default/preference- but that's for someone else's ask lol)... 😤But I was keen on keeping things platonic for this fic! Sure because I like that for Sparrow, but actually... It also had a lot to do with what I wanted to explore with Cass!
(Somehow this post is about Cass *and music* I SWEAR)
Right right right so- as far as canon goes I think it's fair to say that Cassandra is sexually and romantically a lot less ambiguous than Sparrow right- and so, well based on the little we have seen of her I get the impression that Cassandra has probably gotten fairly accustomed to a pretty "standard" kind of partnership style? And for a number of reasons... 😤 It seems she's struggled to find someone who can give her the level of commitment she deserves! Otherwise, based on her relationship with Willy (ew yucky Willy), I also feel like she might have a bit of a tendency to rush into things a bit.
Enter QPR with Sparrow! As I see it, this puts Cassandra especially in a very interesting situation. She's navigating forms of intimacy that are pretty foreign from what she's used to! To love someone... Without being *in love* with someone, per se. She gets the commitment she wants, but in a form that is unquestionably different from how she's always imagined it. Physically, there's room for intimacy (be it to one degree or another)... But she has to work up to/for it this time around, no more rushing into things!
But I see Cass as someone who is always up for a challenge. I think the novelty of these ideas is something that she would find exciting in its own right, and really she's someone who goes after what she wants at the end of the day. Not without her own insecurities I'm sure, which hopefully I got across! (And again, yeah, I definitely think Taylor takes from her in a number of ways haha).
SO ALL OF THAT SAID
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"She had the world" from Panic! At the Disco is *also* a Cassandra song for me 😌
That was waaay too much lead in for a fucking patd song, honestly Happi I'm really abusing this opportunity to talk about Cass and the fic LOL
But ok ok, so with the above points in mind, this one for me is about Cass... From (an aromantic) Sparrow's perspective, and it's hard to explain exactly what I mean for this one, but yeah it's like- there's kind of this mix of insecurity and admiration and I guess... How to put this, on Cass' end she has to let go of the things she's come to take for granted a bit, and on Sparrow's end I think some fears that this kind of relationship won't be enough for her? Let me just give you the important lyrics hahaha:
She held the world upon a string, but she didn't ever hold me. Spun the stars on her fingernails, but it never made her happy, cause she couldn't ever have me // I don't love you I'm just passing the time. You could love me if I knew how to lie. But who could love me? I am out of my mind. Throwing a line out to sea to see if I can catch a dream. // But that girl had so much love. She'd wanna kiss you all the time. Yeah, she'd wanna kiss you all the time. // She said she'd won the world at a carnival. But I'm sure it didn't ruin her, it just made her more interesting.
OKAY that was a looooooong tangent for that one I hope like it sort of makes sense why I associate that one with her???
Finally Nicky, I'll make this much shorter lol. I'm not sure how people feel about these two in general, but I actually *love* them together tbh, and I hope we learn a bit more about their relationship (er what it was) in canon at some point! Still, everything I said about Cass probably being the type to rush into things probably applies here too, and ultimately I imagine that these two likely had a relationship that was... passionate, and intense, and exciting, but maybe not what either of them really needed in the long run.
So funnily enough
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The song is actually called "Nikki", by Forever the Sickest Kids. And, well I think you'll catch my drift with a lot of these lyrics and why it makes me think of them so much aha:
He was the man of every hour. He was a party all alone. He'd give his jacket to a stranger in the cold. She was the beauty queen from Dallas. She could put a lion on a leash. And before he knew himself, she knew the man that he could be. // It's alright Nikki, it's alright, baby, you can let you hair down. // She was an angel craving chaos. He was a demon seeking peace. But they were each other's toxic cure called codependency.
And yeah! So yeah there's a lot of lines in that song that makes me think of them- more than the ones I listed here but for me these are kinda the standouts?
ok ok ok I made this post waaaaaaay too long Happi I'm so sorry ahahaha thank you for entertaining my thoughts I hope some of this makes sense??? I have a lot of feelings about Cassandra but they can be hard to convey!
Also, I'm starting to get a bit lazy, so I hope you'll forgive me if I leave you with my favorite song for Hermie (and well Oakworthy) without much of an explanation. Which is
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"A guy that I'd kinda be into" from the musical Be More Chill :]
I think this one is *very* funny for both of them- especially cause of how many of the lyrics you could read as both Normal and Hermie's POV? If you haven't heard this song, go listen and I think you'll understand.
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I love our new partner so much and how she handles things in comparison to our last partner. I feel so safe. I feel so loved. I've never had someone who values communication as much as her and knows how to put her foot down about certain things and how to compromises with others. I'm dead serious, this might be the healthiest relationship I've ever had with anyone so far.
Not really sure how I fell in love so fast again my only explanation is "boy that denial about being poly sure did uhh happen huh"... the irony of this being they felt certain about polyamory being their thing until they met me and now they want me 'all to themselves' apparently. Gay gay homo gay wow
Also they're autistic as fuck in an unmaskable way just like me and they like structure so much we're literally supposed to have weekly meetings about our relationship to check things are going smoothly and discuss any feelings or issues about things. We were also gonna have a written out set of rules about the relationship we both created together, so basically to make boundaries and literally put them on paper. Parts of our routines are lining up to make things even more structured and solidified. This probably all would sound weird to some but oh my God it makes me feel so relaxed and happy just having things so organised. Not to mention they're ACTUALLY AROUND and we can spend quality time together.
I feel like I'm with someone I actually know now, and they understand me and I understand them
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Yandere Hobo Heart with a Y/N who is also in love with him, is very affectionate and has no problem being by his side?
Aaaah it's been so long since I've really written Hobo in general and I love this idea, thank ya!
Why, that's just fantastic, isn't it?? About as good as it gets, quite honestly, and this, I'm sure, would actually turn out to be one of the "healthiest" yandere relationships that you could ever hope to be in. It's still not absolutely perfect, but it's just about as close to normal as you could get with a yandere like Hobo. 
Almost all of his bad yandere habits are covered up by the affection that you're so willing to give to him. Like my Helen, Hobo is a yandere that praises you, worships you, views you as better than him, and isn't really violent with you at all in any way, so if you can pump out affection, if you're able to fall in love with him, Hobo is just about as close to being in a normal relationship as you can get with a yandere. Sure, he still likes to monitor you on a very frequent basis, and yeah, he likes to stay by your side most hours of the day, but the big difference is, that you'll have most of your freedom. He'll allow you to go outside, he'll allow you to have contact with your friends and loved ones, and he'll allow you to go places alone. 
The only thing, obviously, is that you MUST come home. If you love him as you claim to, of course, that's no issue at all, really, and you'll make it through okay. Running away would be the only bad thing you can do, and so as long as you follow his guidelines, there's nothing you really have to worry about. Sometimes, it's easy to even forget your situation in the first place. With how relaxed you are around him, with how normal your dates in public come across, with how much freedom and self-reliance you can get, it's easy to forget the grip that he has on your waist and arms, the possessive aura keeping others away from you, the breakdowns he has where he keeps you locked inside for a couple of days, scared you might leave him after all, the eyes that never seem to leave your form. I'm sure you can easily overlook all of that with no issue, right? After all, you're in love with him and giving him the affection he so desperately desires that makes him so happy, so there's nothing at all to worry about, just keep supplying the affection, don't think about anything else.
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siriusly-sapphic · 2 years
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Just found your account and saw you write SiriusxNarcissa 😍😍 it’s such a rare pair but I’m obsessed with them and love to see your take on them. I really didn’t think there was anyone shipping them so I was so happy to find your fics!
Could you give some fic recs for this couple? (Your own personal faves as well as other writers!) thank you in advance ♥️
Ahh anon this made me so happy! I adore these two in all their messed up glory, and I def have some recs! These are gonna be a few of the ones I wrote myself, and a few favourites that others have written!
(Obvious warning for cousins being romantically or sexually involved in all of these)
Before the individual recs I'd like to link to this collection by @careofmagicalshippers with 5 sirius/narcissa drabbles, two of them written by me and three of them written by Coffee_Addict_Multishipper who I love.
Starting with the two fics that I read which got me into this ship in the very first place:
Once Upon A Dream by Elfflame: Explicit, 5200 words. Sirius sneaks into a masquerade ball at Malfoy Manor, he and Narcissa flirt anonymously while thinking they might recognise the other person, and he ends up actually knocking her up. It's the first fic I read of them, it holds a special place in my heart.
Nothing Like the Real Thing by Beren: Explicit, 2900 words. Lily and Narcissa have an arrangement where one polyjuices into someone else to live out some fantasies together. Narcissa requests her to change into Sirius, and ends up meeting the real Sirius instead and sleeps with him. Looking back, a little strange, but it deserves a mention bc damn I was obsessed with this.
A few fics taken from my bookmarks:
A Thousand Silhouettes by Elle_Blessing: Teen, 3100 words. If I recall correctly, their ages are switched up, but I remember being fascinated by their dynamic here. It's an overview of their relationship throughout time, with songs!
Sirius Black's Highland Fling by MarshmallowMcgonagall: Explicit, 6300 words. This is set post second war (which I love and don't see that often for these two), Sirius needs a date to a muggle gala and gets Narcissa to go along. He wears a kilt, she wears golden everything, they fuck semi-publically. It's all you can ask for.
Black and Gold also by Marshmallowmcgonagall: Explicit, 2000 words. Sirius shows up at Narcissa's house when she's meant to go to Malfoy Manor, he's been cursed similar to Echo in the myth of Narcissus and Echo, and the solution to that is of course to kiss Narcissa. I love it, it's funny and hot and sweet, perfect.
Your Cigarette Smell by Lumosatnight: Explicit, 9700 words. Warning for MCD! It starts during the first war and ends during the second, painfully canon compliant in that way. Their relationship is so hot and so toxic and it's just perfect. They hate each other, they love each other, they can't stay away from each other, and it can never be more than weekly meetings.
Some fics I have written myself
The Cure to Marital Problems: Explicit, 5500 words. Narcissa's in the Leaky being down about her marriage, Sirius mocks her for it, some teasing ensues and then fuck there's tension. First time they sleep together (set during the first war).
I've Got You: Teen, 19,000 words. I wrote this for @hptransfest and it's probably the healthiest Sirius/Narcissa I've ever written. It's a soulmate AU with miscommunication due to her being trans, with a semi happy ending?? It's the longest oneshot I ever wrote so for that reason I'm proud of it lmao.
Second Chances: Teen, 6500 words. This is one of the first fics I ever wrote for them, written for @siriusblackfest in 2019. Set during the second war, Narcissa starts spying to protect Draco and Sirius is the person she has to work with.
He Wants Us Both: Explicit, 5800 words. Not strictly Sirius/Narcissa, but it's them with Remus thrown into the mix so I'm still counting it. I wrote it for @remuslupinfest and am currently working on a sequel for another fest! Narcissa has switched sides during the first war and is staying with Remus for the time being, they bond over their mutual attraction to Sirius. Eventually a threesome happens.
And then a few that I haven't read yet
(cause I am honestly the worst person when it comes to keeping up with fics) but that I've marked for later on AO3 and look interesting to me! Not gonna give a summary bc that's in the link and obviously I haven't read them, so it's just the link and the rating here!
Weight of Silence by HazellePotter: Teen, 2100 words Sleeping in the Devil's Bed by A_Factorygirl_69: Explicit, 7800 words The Shoreless Sea by Shadow_Belle: Teen, 2400 words, MCD White Eyes by MistyKasumi: Explicit, 1100 words Silver Shackles and Rose Thorns by Justadeaddove: Explicit, 2900 words Constellations Inked in Blood by Duchess_Of_Fiction: Mature, 193,000 words. (This is a multichapter about the Black family as a whole, I haven't read it so I don't know how much sirius/narcissa it includes but it has been recced to me by someone who loves the ship too so I trust their judgement!)
thank you so much for asking this was great fun (and if you ever wanna talk sirius/narcissa just hmu, honestly, I'd love to)
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ckyunmoon · 4 years
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Off To The Races / Rafe Cameron
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not my gif, credits to owner!
A/N: I had this idea while listening to Off To The Races by Lana del Rey and I couldn't help myself so I had to write it. This is the first time I've written something based on a song so I don't know if I did well. Let me know what you think!
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader.
Warnings: Drugs and alcohol abuse, not the healthiest relationship if you ask me. Please, know I'm not trying to romanticize this kind of relationships, I've written it based on the song and on how I think a relationship with Rafe would be.
Word count: 896.
Lyrics look like this!
"My old man is a bad man
But I can't deny the way he holds my hand
And he grabs me, he has me by my heart
He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past
He doesn't mind I have a L.A. crass way about me
He loves me with every beat of his cocaine heart"
Being Rafe's girlfriend had many ups and downs, but at the end of the day you would die for him and he would do the same for you. He was always protective of you and every time he could spoil you, he would. You knew he had done bad things in the future, but so had you, and that experiences were what kept you so united.
At parties he just holds your hand firmly, not letting you go too far away from him and when he starts doing cocaine, so do you. And even though that's not the healthiest way to live, you two loved it. After every party you crash at his house and end up having amazing sex, not even caring if his sisters can hear you.
"Light of my life, fire of my loins
Be a good baby, do what I want
Light of my life, fire of my loins
Gimme them gold coins
Gimme them coins"
Your parents don't really approve your relationship with Rafe, but you couldn't care less. He means the world to you and he makes you feel much more alive than you've ever felt, so their opinion is not going to change anything. He does know that your parents don't like him, but he doesn't seem to be bothered as long as you don't change the way you see him.
He always knows how to keep you happy, he knows you don't have as much money as him, so he's always buying you gifts and treating you like a queen. You don't deserve less than that in his opinion, and he's going to make sure he's the one treating you like this, no one else.
"And I'm off to the races
Cases of Bacardi chasers
Chasing me all over town
'Cause he knows I'm wasted
[...]
I'm your little scarlet, starlet
Singing in the garden
Kiss me on my open mouth
Ready for you"
He's always inviting you to glamorous and fancy events, such as horse races, where you know you can get wasted and high. One special night after a very good race where he has won a lot of money after a bet you are walking around his backyard, humming some songs to yourself while he's preparing something to drink. You start singing quietly, moving your hands smoothly through the air feeling like you're some kind of fairy.
You hear him coming outside, placing the glasses on a table. 'Seeing you like this right now makes me feel like I'm in heaven.' You hear him say, and you smile with your back still turned to him. 'I could watch you dance all day, but right now I have other plans.' He lifts you up on his arms like nothing and you start laughing. 'Shh… you're going to wake everyone.'
'You don't seem to care if we wake someone when we're fucking.' You tease moving your face closer to him, with your lips almost touching.
'That's because when we're fucking it feels like we're the only people left on earth.' He says, and before you can answer he kisses you fiercely, as if he had been waiting all night to do it. And you let him, allowing his tongue to touch yours.
"My old man is a tough man
But he got a soul as sweet as blood red jam
And he shows me, he knows me, every inch of my tar black soul
He doesn't mind I have a flat, broke-down life
In fact, he says he thinks it's what he might like about me
Admires me, the way I roll like a rollin' stone"
Rafe is well known for how problematic he can be around other people, especially around pogues, but the reality of who he really is is far away from that. He's one of the kindest people you've come across in your life, and when you're having an argument he becomes the most patient person alive. He knows you had the wrong idea about him at first, but he keeps proving to you that he's not who everyone thinks he is.
He knows your family can give you a hard time when it comes to giving you money, so most of the time you have to ask him for some, and he will give you whatever amount you ask for and a little extra. When you're in this position you feel like you're not enough for him, but he's always there to make sure you understand that he's interested in the whole you, even your money problems. He loves how laid back you become once you have those issues under control.
"Boy, you're so crazy, baby
I love you forever, not maybe
You are my one true love
You are my one true love"
Even though you have your problems and he has his, when you're together it feels like they all disappear. And when he's being an absolute dork around you, you know for sure you're going to love him until the day you die.
Taglist: @abbiesthings @aheadfullofskies @beatement-l @butgilinsky @cherryobx @delightfullynlove @difficultlttldevil @drewsephsmiles @drewstarkeyisababe @drewstarkeyobx @drewswannabegirl @fttayla @hausenfluck @ilovejjmaybank @ityagirljay @jewel25 @jjtheangel @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @miss-good-looking @multifandomlovess @nas-marie-loves-u @netflix-imagines @obxrafe @obx-paradise-on-earth @outerbankslut @pm-my-hubbies @pogie-style @prejudic3 @rochyu @roselialia @skatespitfire @slutforjjmaybank @simpforstarkey @spideymyluv @starkeystyles @sunwardsss @tiredfeels @tomhardybby @unknownuserlea @wesnewa @windexplanet @wtfiskpop @wtfstarkey
As always, if you want to be removed or added to the taglist just message me!
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Hi! I'm new in this fandom and I've just finished to read all your work on Ivar. The thing that shocked me a little is that you mostly write him as a sub (that is alright) but every time I feel like you write him just to be basically a sex slave and a plaything for the reader and every time I get the feeling that the reader doesn't respect him and doesn't love him. It made me cringe and I just wanted to know if it was written like this on purpose or if I'm just imagining things.
Hi anon! Ok, wow, this is going to be a long and complicated answer but I hope you can bear with me :)
I’d say that, no, in most of my works I don’t intend for him to just be a plaything for the reader. We have for example Just let me hold you, where he and the reader are in a longterm committed relationship. The reason that he’s being a sub here, and the reason that their relationship is kind of stormy, is because he is so insecure and needs reassurance. And the reader is flawed, just like Ivar is, and does /says things that she shouldn’t do (like the comment about throwing his clothes out). Now, that isn’t meant as saying that she doesn’t care about him. It’s just that, like in real relationships, they have bad /stormy days and this particular story takes place at something that is both a low and high point in their relationship which makes for a lot of conflicting emotions.
Then of course we have works such as Let me show you, in which the reader very clearly buys him as a slave because she finds him attractive and she doesn’t really have any feelings for him beyond that. Or in Addicted to love, where we don’t really know the extent of the woman’s feelings for him because it’s from Ivar’s POV. This one was based on a song so I just sort of ran with the feeling I got from the lyrics. 
We also have You won, in which Ivar and the reader kind of have a backstory, though not as lovers. Here, I did try to show that the reader does actually care about him though it was difficult because of the scenario. Of course, that reader cares about Ivar doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s in love with him or that he cares about her. I tried to leave that one a bit more open to interpretation.
And then there’s my half-finished work (1 of 2 chapters out); May I? which I think will probably end up being the healthiest relationship I’ve ever portrayed so far. Ivar and reader are in a longterm relationship and they have very clearly agreed on everything beforehand.
I think that one of the main reasons why my works featuring Ivar often have kind of dysfunctional relationships is because, well, I have a hard time picturing a  completely healthy relationship with someone as complex as him. And these thoughts often seep into my work. The works featuring dom!Ivar aren’t exactly something to model a relationship after either *cough* Bend to your will, Soft leather straps *cough* hehe.
So, the short version: No, I don’t intentionally write Ivar as a plaything for the reader. I understand that it might come off as that but I do try to write different relationship scenarios and also tag my works properly (dubcon etc.).so that readers will know what to expect. Of course, I make mistakes some times and I am happy to add / change tags if someone asks me to.
Hope this answers your question, anon :)
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