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junkie-virus · 9 months

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(muttering) i dont want to die i just need to go outside i dont want to die i just need to go outside i dont want to die i just need to go outside i dont want to die i just need to go outsi

#ro rambles #think im going stir crazy but also maybe its the sleep deprivation.#i am sleeping in 2-4 hour intervals #usually on the lesser side #i only get the 4-6 hour-ers when its day out.#this of course means i do not eat much #also a horrid contributer.#this is fine #ill start going out again when my group therapy starts up again #which is facilitated by a lady who said vaguely transphobic shit to me #she didnt habe mal intent but also that means i have to educate a cis person against my will #a WHITE cis oerson at that #ohhhh i experience a million little agonies #im too scared to go walk outside but i think maybe at this point i should just try #on the brighter side im going to my aunts friday and usually i sleep better there #have actual bed as well #nicer environment

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tapakah0 · 1 year

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I'M ****ING FREEE

#I MEAN #NOT REALLY #BUT I DON'T NEED TO RIDE ANYWHERE TOMORROW #AND MY HEAD ****ING HURTS FOR NO REASON #AND I HATE ILLUSTRATOR AND INDESIGN AND PHOTOSHOP AND GRAPHIC DESIGN #HOW THEY MANAGE TO EAT ALL MY NERVES #I JUST COME BACK HOME ALMOST AT NIGHT AND HAVE NO TIME AND SIT TO DRAW A LITTLE BIT AND OH MY GOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S 2 AM AND OF COURSE #CAN'T WAKE UP ON TIME AND I'M A SHITTY MESS TOMORROW AND CAN'T EVEN SLEEP FOR 6 HOURS AND THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE TO RIDE FOR 3-4 #HOURS IN SUMARRY AND IT IS SO EXHAUSTING JUST BECAUSE YOU DO IT EVERYDAY #RARRRRRRAAAAAARRARARRARARARARRRRRRR #RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR #ONE DAY IS NOT ENOUGH FOR ME #OH MY GOD I NEED TO DIG THROUGH SO MUCH

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anonymocha · 6 months

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are you gonna be there with me?

taco bell commercial song got me dyking

#and of course i project it to this motherfucker #Medicine Pocket #reverse 1999 #reverse 1999 fanart #mochadoodles #LETS EAT YUH YUH #found this song in a lesbian breakcore mix but GIRL it aint breakcore 😂#still rocks tho #10/10 got me imagining an unholy relationship between a vampire and a huntress in a secret relationship #with guns #femme4femme type beat holy shit #sorry the tags are not related with medpoc im having a moment here #but if the song dont have lesbian undertones i would’ve not liked it THIS much 😭#that is a single piece of plain bread w nothing but possibly mold on it btw #i posted this during the day on purpose so not many people see it oop #next up: King Princess's PAIN remix cover #this gay ass post got shadowbanned what a day to be alive #/pos #that means im doing it right

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quietwingsinthesky · 6 months

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if supernatural was any good, they would have had mary and lucifer sleep together in the apocalypse world. this would have solved zero problems with the show, but it would have created a hundred more interesting ones than they already had.

#they could have done this. for me.#it should have gone really well too. for mary and lucifer i mean.#because that would be 1000x worse for everyone else involved. if mary enjoyed herself and bonded with him.#doesn’t even have to be much of a bond but like. just enough that when sam and dean are there. it’s so incredibly uncomfortable.#sam like :) this is the second time my mother has slept with someone complicit in torturing me. i feel normal about this and its not #messing me up so bad im going to scream. this is fine.#dean would freak the fuck out about it though. openly and loudly. it’s *lucifer*.#which. of course. trying to tell mary that she’s not allowed to do what she’s already decided she’s doing because dean doesn’t want her to.#yeah. im sure that’ll go well.#lucifer doesn’t even have to do anything to drive a wedge between them besides sit there look pretty and eat mary out until she screams.#easiest job in the world #and most importantly: it would have been hot. literally just let someone walk in on mary pinning the devil himself to the floor.#why not give me this one thing huh

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icewindandboringhorror · 10 months

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I find it kind of silly that so many of those "time based life rule" sayings are like ~deep serious guidelines~ of some sort, but then there's that one other Well Known Rule that's just like "hrmm can I eat something off of the ground or not"

#the duality of human condition.. two biggest concerns in the modern era are attempts at self fulfilling productivity #and also 'if i drop my sandwich can i still eat it :('#Also while capitalism is often linked with/the source of hyper productivity culture - note that I do not mean the images in that context #'meaningful to you' does not have to mean 'productive within a capitalist system'. The point is not 'every waking hour of every day #must be spent in the most societally productive grinding mindset hyper efficency mode possible' but more like #if you've always wanted to learn french ever since you were a kid and you think it would be fulfilling to you (just because you like it #absent of any larger purpose like using it for a job/monetizing it somehow/etc.). and you've just spent like 5 hours straight on tiktok #or something mindlessly scrolling the internet. maybe someimtes it'd help for your own personal fulfillment in the long #run to try to - the next time you have 5 spare hours - work on learning french or something that is actually significant to you #as a person and that you'll be glad you worked towards. instead of weeks and weeks passing by and feeling you have nothing to show for it #or etc. AAANYWAY. The images/rules themselves are also NOT the main point of this post. More just the juxtaposition of them together #and the fact that 3 of them are serious seeming while one is so mundane it seems silly in comparison.#BUT even though they're not the main point . I still didn't want it to come across as if I was like promoting or buying into capitalist #productivity culture propaganda or etc. I don't find productivity tips like this inherently bad as long as they're kind of divorced from #those ideas. I think it's still important in life to have goals even if those goals exist outside of the typical expected framework.#I mean that's actually part of why a culture of chronically exhausted overworked deprived people is damaging because if you #'re forced to spend 85% of your waking time working at some job that is perosnally meaningless to you that brings you nothing that #youre only doing under threat of starvation and houselesness and etc. then of course you don't have much time for hobbies or things you car #about and of course you'll feel more aimless and personally unsatisfied and like life is not fulfilling or interesting.#Productivity and efficiency is GOOD actually. as long as it's able to be directed in ways that are actually meaingful to the community or #individual and bring some sort of feeling of fulfillment or progress or accomplishment and working towards a person's personal ideas #of happiness whatever those are. rather than just working away aimlessly so some guy you don't know can buy a 20th house or etc. etc.#ANYWAY.. lol.. Me overthinking things perhaps.. probably not as likely #that people see the silly little cat images and go 'WOW EVIL you must be a capitalist grind culture lover' like its pretty clear #thats not the point... but... just in case... lol.. I loooove to over clarify things that don't actually need clarification

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the-physicality · 3 days

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what i need is a link to admin at the mercury and admin at the wnba. set me up a special account so i can see all the old videos from the old website. and get me a computer with all 19000+ minutes of dt games and a strong video editor. really i'd like all the old footage too.

#it's devastating bc i'm trying to find the full presser from the 2007 finals when dt says is a smack in the face not the same as a punch #but also what i want to do is clip every single dt assist and almost assist into what has to be like a 5 hour video #and then of course all the baskets #but i did the math and if you're watching film for 8 hours a day it would take like 161 days to watch all her wnba games #like i said yesterday i was watching a handful of games and her passes ..really we don't talk about the act of passing the ball enough #i would like to watch other old games too like the comets 97-2000 #now my hope is that it doesn't happen this year but when it does happen [and i have a list]#mat should pay her like 1.5 million/year to consult for the org . which might mean doing nothing but show up at occasional games #and i know she doesn't want to coach or gm but i think she would be so good at roster creation recruitment and draft day decisions #like i said i have a list but i'm not going to put it out until it needs to be put out #i want to watch every game that cheryl miller coached #but that you can't watch candace parker's rookie season #or anything from LJ #or any comets games #or postseason prior to 2015 #it's so disrespectful to not have them available #you could sell box sets of seasons by team and charge like 20 bucks per each and i'd eat them up #or full seasons of games #it is so concerning from the archival side that so much footage only lives publicly on these old youtube accounts from 12 15 17 years ago #and the best we can do is hope nothing gets deleted

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 1 year

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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

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supercantaloupe · 2 months

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perhaps growing up in a house full of people with cat behavior (and also plenty of cats) has. stunted my ability to interact socially like a normal human being

#by which i mean myself and everyone in my family with whom i spent the majority of my time arouns growing up #are all extremely used to and comfortable doing our own thing completely separate and independently from one another #much like a cat; 'being in the same room' but not interacting otherwise is a perfectly good social scenario for us #like i swear when i was at home last week other than preparing or eating meals #everybody in the house spent 90% of the time just. doing their own activities.#completely separately and with no expectation of 'needing' to do activities together #of course i like a good social activity from time to time. but i also very much enjoy Existing neadby a social groupmate #without actually doing anything Together. and i think perhaps. that is not normal #and that i can come off as cold and aloof and unfriendly that way.#but idk. if we're friends then just Hanging Out nearby and not doing anything more than that is still Something to me. idk #i wanna talk about me

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freepassbound · 3 months

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Grocery list or no grocery list?

Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?

Favorite high-effort meal that you make?

Please :)

Grocery list or no grocery list?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends how desperately I need something (and thus must remember it) combined with how recently I forgot something because I wasn't using a list. 😅

Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?

I haven't even ever really finished moving into this house, so, no. I've thought about doing something for Christmas (which is the only one I've ever decorated for), but... no family is around in the winter. Though I did up the old family house a few times when I was solo (for various reasons)... this place... for whatever reason it just doesn't seem worth it for only myself? Also, there's no tradition of doing it here, I think is a big part of it.

Favorite high-effort meal that you make?

I am not much of a fancy chef, but there is this dish called hamburger pie (which I make with ground turkey) that goes well with mashed potatoes... it's delicious, but it's a lot of work for a single person. Brown the ground turkey, wash potatoes, peel potatoes, cut potatoes, mix the turkey, prep the dish, pop in oven, drain potatoes, mash potatoes... it usually ends up being about two hours (though there is some down time waiting for the potatoes to cook).

#of course then I get to eat it three or four times 😂#cooking for one person means eating one meal several times!#don't have a great spot for a tree in this house #the only open space is right in front of the return for the HVAC #(which presumably one wouldn't want falling needles near)#and I have no idea where I'd put lights outside #or how‚ for that matter #I am not much of a Halloween person myself #and this is not a trick-or-treating area #might have gotten one person in seven years #what other holidays do people decorate for?#I actually just went grocery shopping 😅#I did have a list #though I didn't need it‚ since they were out of one of my Outshine bar flavors #which means I'll stop at the other location tomorrow #so all I bought was milk #(which I desperately needed)#thank you for the questions! 😊#asks

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trashworldblog · 7 months

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funny how taking a pause and evaluating what youre getting done will astound you. completely forgot im making a game rn. also forgot im making a [REDACTED]. im also like. in school. like.. actual college junior year. with papers and weekly assignments. im applying for internships. been dealing with chronic pain all week. like thats A Lot of things. but honestly i spend most of my time on this webbed site and watching dr who. so it feels like im just chilling tbh

#hanging out. consuming far too much watcher content for 'research'#uh. eating pbj sandwiches for lunch. thats what life feels like most of the time #doesnt feel like ive been doing those other things #but i am! which is weird #i think because its not in the 40 hr work week form it feels more normal and like in chillin.#cus i can stop whenever. not really defined by any working hours #of course this just means i work a lot after 6 but yknow. its good to have hobbies even if the hobby is [REDACTED]

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halfdeadwallfly · 3 months

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i was just sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast, having greek yogurt with grape nuts - which i thought was perfectly normal - and my mom cam in and with complete sincerity told me that i needed to have some fruit with it because otherwise i was basically eating plain sugar. am i going insane here

#boink #i went grocery shopping for her the other day and apparently i got the wrong yogurt bc it has too much sugar and fat in it #idk #anyway she got mad at me for eating yogurt the other day too #i had had one spoon of it after stirring it up out of the fridge #and she got all prickly and asked if i ever check the serving size on food #and that i should pay attention to how much i was eating and put it in a bowl instead of eating it out of the container #which i was notable not doing #anyway #she also got upset when she noticed it was the wrong kind and said that i needed to be careful eating it because it's basically candy #and THEN when i got upset abt this she said not to get mad at her for caring #which #ok #but i just #god #i dont know #im the fattest person in my family #when i was a kid one of the traits that i sort of adopted bc people said it abt me was that i was 'always hungry'#even though that wasnt true #that im not picky and ill eat anything which /again/ is not true #and now that im older i can just tell. that people look at me and think i'm gluttonous. like it's a sin right #and i know especially with my family that that's what theyre thinking about me #i already have so much guilt about wanting things and enjoying things #like this year at school i feel like i was doing so well with that kind of thing #and i gained weight of course i did of course #and thats shitty and whatever the fuck but also i didnt hate myself for it a lot of the time?#and now im back in my house and its just like. i dont know #i need to work through things one step at a time #and i just cant #i mean not with everyone watching

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fingertipsmp3 · 1 month

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I’m gonna challenge my subconscious to a fist fight and I’m gonna lose

#i had a dream that mabel kept coming back to life just to sniff stuff or investigate food that she liked #she was still dead but i’d buried her instead of cremating her and for whatever reason i was either digging her up #or she was digging herself up and sniffing and eating stuff #and i was like ‘she’s CLEARLY still alive if she can do this’ and everyone was like ‘no she’s dead you have to bury her again’#whenever she fell asleep she would be dead again. like she’d stop breathing and her heart would stop #i don’t know if she was like. a vampire dog? but it was so upsetting to dream #this is the second sad dream i’ve had about mabel in the course of like 3 days.. no less because the last one made me wake up in tears #on friday morning. and like it’s brought me to my knees honestly. i can’t DO this #also in my dream i went to a careers advisor or life coach or something and they were really mean to me lol #and my family made me go with them to visit some people i didn’t know who insisted on serving us cups of tea #it was really strong hot tea and i don’t really drink tea like that #and my grandma’s friend who was the loveliest woman and died a few years ago was there #and she was just absolutely pouring milk in her tea even though it was overflowing and going everywhere #and mabel was there accosting their terriers even though she was supposed to be dead. it was too much #in another part of the dream my old roommafe (who i really didn’t like) was pressuring me to go drinking with her even though mabel had just #(dubiously) died. and i was like ‘you do realise i’m going to get absolutely paralytic and scream and cry about my dog the whole time’#there was also this subplot where like everyone i knew but me had been in a play and the stage makeup had been made from ‘magic beans’#that stained everyone blue. so everyone i met had randomly blue eyebrows and stuff #there was one man who was just fully blue #also i was supposed to be in the world championships for a game that was like tetris but more esoteric but the servers broke down #or something like that. i think that’s everything #i’m just like.. why make me bawl at 6:30 on a sunday morning. what’s the advantage of that #i’m supposed to be taking care of benji and he’s looking at me like ‘god this woman is a basket case’#his owner has colitis and chronic fatigue and she has her shit more together than me #personal

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countess-of-edessa · 9 months

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“are the girls going to help you make pierogis?” well no one else is fucking gonna are they? no one else in this house has functional fucking hands apparently

#every Christmas i think about the time we came home from mass and my father said “finally! now we can relax.” and sat down at his computer #and played video games for the next three hours while my mother and sister and i stood six feet away from him in the kitchen making #200 pierogis.#it’s crazy considering the amount of stuff he gets done for him on a daily basis that I would never even think would be done for me by anyo #like bed made for him/all meals/all dishes/food put on his plate for him because he refuses to do it himself/pretty much all errands #whenever he wants tea he just says that want out loud and it gets brought to him by magic #i mean or anything else! he once said “did you say we were having cappuccinos today?” just to no one in particular and we all knew no one h #had said anything of the sort. and then he was given one!#of course he goes to work from 8-6ish every day but other than one day a week it’s remote and has been for years and i can hear him #he is pretty much never not on the phone gossiping with someone #and i don’t begrudge him having a not physically intensive job or anything but im just trying to think of the things he has to do #he makes my mother mow the lawn. i do it when i am home because i think that’s disgraceful.#if my mother begs hard enough he'll do the least amount of yard work possible if it’s something we can’t physically do by ourselves.#but on a daily basis it’s just go to work/eat the breakfast brought to you/eat the lunch brought to you/come downstairs eat the dinner made #for you/play video games until you go to bed in the bed that was made for you in the morning #and on non work days it’s just eat/video games/bed #and like all this to say #he complains more and has a worse attitude than anyone I have ever known in my life #whenever he encounters a minor inconvenience he's talking about how it never ends and he never gets a chance to rest for once #literally any day that’s not spent in complete and total stagnation is considered a failure #he hates when my mother and sister and i are happy like we can’t even play music and laugh in the kitchen while we cook and clean up after #meals because it distracts him from his video games and his YouTube videos about video games and the war in Ukraine #he gets mad when we laugh too much lol like dude you’re pretty lucky you have daughters who can have fun while doing the dishes #considering you haven’t done them in like 20 years #word to the ladies out there btw: my parents used to clean up after dinner together when they first got married. so watch out lmao

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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 4 months

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I found my relatives who are estranged because they left the cult (among other, much more complicated things)… and through their friends list I found my creepy uncle who I saw exactly once in person, walking through a foyer at a funeral.

Now, I bear a striking resemblance to my late grandmother so I could theoretically scare the living bejeezus out of him… 👀 but I’m not going to do that or talk to any of them right now in any way; because I don’t want to open that can of wormssssssss

#I guess it’s in that side of the family’s DNA to scheme and be evil and covertly cause as much mayhem as possible #I’ve inherited a double dose of whatever that is because I’ve been dying to cause widespread mayhem in disguise #hungering for it even— THIRSTING AS IF MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT #But there are no healthy or morally correct ways to Do That right now; so I guess I’ll suffer until I find an opportunity #I have no problems with my relatives. I like my relatives and would love to speak to them #However uh… the uncle #And of course the man’s profile picture is with him holding a toddler… fucking yikes #I mean maybe he’s reformed #He’d better be #Otherwise I will put on my rain boots #pack my bag with granola bars #and with a compass in my hand walk eighty miles north to beat his skinny ass into a seething pulp #[Caligula voice] “Get a dog who’ll eat a dog.” I am that dog. I am now #going #to bark at you #Woof woof barkbarkbark woofwoofwoof bark bArk—#Just imagine me jumpscaring him at his door absolutely drenched in sweat like “Hello uncle I’ve never formally introduced myself to you #My name is [Tarrie]. Prepare to die.” and then I immediately fucking pass out and impale myself on my folding scissors #because I’ve been walking for 80 miles straight only eating granola bars birch bark and dandelions #That would be horrifying and extremely embarrassing… so this is proof that this is all a joke and I would never do that #because I value… [checks notes] my health. Yes. [nods emphatically]#No the real reason is because I have no viable way to figure out any reason why he hasn’t reformed from many decades ago #which sucks because I prefer to deal in absolutes but that’s the way it is and my resources would be better spent observing other things #which I KNOW are actively harmful to others in order to fix them #[Caligula voice] But fear not dear uncle (derogatory); I’ll still stalk you from afar

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fvckednddistvrbed · 2 months

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i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad

#tw s3lf harm #i dont even feel sick from eating too much like usual #its like the feeling of food in my stomach is making my throat feel tight and its activating my gag reflex a bit so i feel like im gonna tu #tw 3d shit #tw 3d vent #3d ana #not exactly pro a*a but not anti either.. :/#i want to post more in this community and get mutuals and get help with navigating this whole thing but im scared cause ive seen #so many people have their whole accounts deleted and i think i would actually kms if that happened since ive had my main for like 8 years #and to be clear im very pro recovery #which i know i know conflicts with the whole wanting mutuals to *help* me with an ed and not help me to *not* have an ed #i think everyone deserves to recover and i hope i do but right now is just not fucking it for me #so for not its a whole lotta #male thinpo #slef harm #right and i definitely cant talk about being b p d uncensored or ill get reported cause the b*d community is super toxic but in the way that #slef harm and scars are chillin but eds are actually a real struggle™️ and you should have it in secret like everyone else #not to generalize all pw b*pd obviously many and probably most arent like this #but tumblr is a very concentrated dose of that kinda person and its sad for us pw b*pd that are both kinds of toxic LMAO #i joke of course #anyway yeah pro recovery for sure but not currently in recovery #ana moots #body chex #someone who could help with that maybe idk im also kinda shy so maybe just someone to help me with restrictions and staying accountable #at least for now #also if you sh all the better cause i will wanna talk about that too #also to clarify my earlier statement 'not pro a*a' means i dont think and 3d is a lifestyle and i recognize that im sick #but 'not exactly anti' means im not going to avoid these communities or report people in them for being pro #because thats about as effective as throwing out an addicts stash or hiding sharp objects from a chronic sh'r- theyll still find a way #and probably way easier and faster than you think and theyll feel even more alienated and less inclined to seek help

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yuridovewing · 1 year

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Feel like one of the best ways you can convince someone that no, villains with compelling motives that have sad backstories are not terrible writing compared to straight up born evil villains who just want to kill everyone and be done with it, is to tell them that Warrior Cats writes born evil villains constantly while literally preaching “That’s how evil works, you can’t CHANGE, you’re either touched by demons at birth or you aren’t!” and it blows chunks

#brokenstar tigerstar hawkfrost darktail one eye etc etc would all be so much more interesting if they werent so one note #and just had ‘’born evil’’ slapped on as their explanation for being evil #‘’ew why are you woobifying tigerstar’’ because i think a villain who feels emotion besides ‘’evil’’ and ‘’angry’’ and actually does care #about his clanmates but is also a bigot that deserves to be beaten down is more interesting than canon #to get like real world political here… abusive people and bigots like. are not one note born evil demons #they have loved ones and reasons for turning out the way they did. and im not saying that to go ‘’so you need to give them grace!’’#im saying that because the line of thinking that every bad person is a super obvious mustache twirling villain with no soul #makes it so that people justify abuse and crimes from REAL people. like ‘’oh my friend says some racist things but he isnt BAD! he loves me!#would an abusive person be nice to his wife in public? of course not!’’#and its rhetoric like that that lets abuse and bigotry thrive. if you put the world in categories of born evil and born good #then you will dismiss all the ‘’good’’ people in your life who have done horrible things with ‘’but she donated to charity once’’#i mean. hell this LITERALLY happens in wc where the ‘’born good’’ characters are abusive and murderously xenophobic #where characters like clear sky and blackstar just get a sticker like ‘’oh you cant be TOO mad at them! theyre good at heart!’’#‘’ignore all the times they killed vulnerable people for the crime of being born somewhere they didnt like! they were nice to a kid once!’’#the message there is literally ‘’bad people cant REALLY be bad if theyre nice to people sometimes’’#like. im not even mad at clear sky being motivated by witnessing his loved ones starve to death for why hes such an abusive control freak #thats an interesting reason to become a villain especially since the change happened when he was put in a position of power #the problem is not him having a sad backstory. the problem is the erins think his sad backstory means he was never that bad #and anyone who’s upset at him can go eat shit and die cause he looked sad #like. i get this line of thinking often comes from writers doing this for abuse apologism and just wanting to see abusers be held accountabl #accountable #but how exactly does it help victims of abuse to portray abusers and bigots in a christian ‘’touched by the devil’’ light

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