#this post in particular is probably about uhh. hm

[catinasink]

i think if i could look into your eyes and tell you my apologies and hear your voice while i die it would be a lovely way to go

[just-some-sillies]

doing all of systober today because I will forget if I try to do it daily and also we're 9 days in anyway so.

PRINCIPAL HOST - our hosts are mike and van, van has been hosting for 2 or 3 years now and mike has been for 1. they're also gay (together). mike is a fnaf fictive and is like 16?? and van is mostly brainmade (and a little bit factive) and is like 15?

PRINCIPAL PROTECTOR - our primary protector is michael, he's also a fnaf introject but this time is dead michael afton instead of the alive one. he's an adult of unknown age

PRINCIPAL PERSECUTOR - we only really have two alters we'd label as persecutors, and they're barty and tempest. barty is a harry potter introject and is like 17 or something? he won't give me a straight answer. and tempest is brainmade and unknown age. barty is mostly a protector and caretaker now (yay coping mechanisms) and tempest is still a persecutor but is nicer to us

PRINCIPAL GATEKEEPER - we only have like two known gatekeepers ?? one is aptly named keeper and is literally a cat. for some reason. and the other one is eval (evaluation) and I have no idea what they are. or what they do. hm.

A RANDOM HOLDER - uhh. hayden I guess is a trauma and anger holder that we discovered more recently. he's like 7 and a factive of someone we were very close to at that age who we didn't have a healthy relationship with.

PROBLEMATIC ALTER - skip

OLDER ONE - probably rai? they're a partial pokemon (raichu) fictive and split from when we went to spain at like 8 years old

RECENT ONE - I suppose an alter we found recently would be a guy that I'll call 'override' because using his name can trigger it out. it's pretty much a robot and thinks he's programmed. it will not be posting here

FIRST INTROJECT - I think the first we found was probably power/arson?? she's dormant now but she's a chainsaw man fictive and used to take care of one of our littles.

LESS FORMED ALTER - skip

MOST FORMED ALTER - skip

MOST EXOTIC APPEARANCE - idk do we want to talk about dj music man or like. keeper or kit? fucking springtrap? tip? literally anyone ever

MOST BASIC APPEARANCE - van. sorry y'all he's blond

A COUPLE - dj and matty. dj music man and matpat. being gay right at the front of headspace. fucking christ. stop. /lh

A FAMILY - shouta, zashi, toshi, and one of our littles. zashi went dormant though and things went downhill from there

STEREOTYPICAL ALTER - barty is probably the "evil alter" stereotype more than anything but he also takes care of a kid outside of sys so idk

ALTER THAT BREAKS STEREOTYPE - barty again idk

MOST ECCENTRIC ALTER - tip ? he presents as like. permanently drunk

DRAW HOW YOU IMAGINE YOUR OWN DISORDER - skip. might later

SYSTEMSONA - skip. don't have one

FAVOURITE ALTER(S) FROM EXTERNALS - skip

FAVOURITE ALTER(S) FROM THE SYSTEM - skip

ALTER WITH OLDER INTERNAL AGE - in terms of age I think our oldest alter is probably oedipus who is like. 52 ?? and a mechanisms fictive. he's just here I guess

MOST SOCIAL ALTER - absolutely plusle. he loves hanging out with this one particular friend but will talk to literally anyone if given the chance. not a pokemon fictive just stole its identity

ALTER WITH THE MOST STRANGE/CURIOUS ROLE - skip for now. can't think of one

FAVOURITE REPRESENTATION OF THE DISORDER - watched moon knight recently and that was pretty cool

A PLACE FROM THE INNER WORLD - y'all have multiple places ???

FRONT DUO ALTERS - deadpool and ennard will not front without each other and barely seem to exist without the other. what the fuck. why

MOST CURIOUS ALTER - skip. idk

RANDOM ALTER - went and picked at random from our sp and got rocket. they're an enderman fictive and only really front when listening to a song. hasn't fronted in months though

FREE - skip

[vampirefangs]

off topic (? what topic idk) but while im here making personal posts um today my therapist baisically said she thinks i probably have bpd. (kinda funny actually i was describing some symptoms and this particular uhh situation from recently and afterwards she was like "hm have we ever talked about bpd?" or something like that. and then we talked about it more of course.) i feel like years of me thinking this has finally been vindicated by an outside source with at least some level of authority on this (not quite the right phrase but you know what i mean hopefully).

i feel validated i mean. i feel like i can maybe be more confident in self disgnosing myself at least which ive wanted to do for so long. idk if i want to seek full on official diagnosis but it feels good to have a label for some of these difficult things ive struggled so much to make sense of and cope with.

AND more importantly she is going to be able to help me because she actually listens to me and can help me learn dbt skills and other things that help with these specific traits. and i feel more understood by her and comfortable around her than the vast majority of other therapists ive tried. its nice.

i know its super rambly post im just having a lot of feelings about this and processing i guess. it feels both good and also im some ways heavy for sure. and i wanted to share this somehow. thank you.

[generationlosscorkboard]

Alrighttttt we are back!

apparently this one was somewhat based off of an actual dream Ran had so ya- (source)

(said stream also has Boo stating they write the dreams to a vibe and then just go. Which is probably worth mentioning seeing as I am analysing everything to do with them- uhh so take these with a grain of salt because sometimes things are just for the vibe)

But YEAH! it's Dream 2 time!

(i need to come up with original ways of saying "long post')

(how about- "long brain noodle?")

Oh yeah, it's long Brain Noodle time.

Id from GenerationLossUpdates here on Tumblr [ id - a series of tweets from @/TheChronicle0. Tweet 1: "D2 It started off as a normal day, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I went XX to school, work, everything was normal. I don’t know how but we ended up in a parking lot at night, on the hood of my car looking up at the stars."

Tweet 2: "I noticed something odd about the stars, somehXX something was off about them. When I turned to ask everyone, and everything else was gone, just an empty parking lot"

Tweet 3: "For some reason I was calm, not thinking much of it. I looked back up at the sky to see that it seemed closer than before, it seemed to have ripples, like water or something. I stood on the hood of the car, reaching towards it"

Tweet 4: "And it fell. Crashing into me. Overwhelming me until I woke up. Spooky" - end id ]

Analysis:

Regular day: Just a regular day lol. Does give insight on the fact that Chronos is a school-goer, but has a job, and drives a car tho, so that's nice.

Parking lot: hm. A transitional area, of sorts, but given the fact Chronos remains there is sorta the opposite effect of that. There's the ability to go elsewhere, but they don't. It being later empty, is also interesting, because one it tells use there were others beforehand.

"We": The fact "we" is used is also worth noting, as Chronos is with someone they consider important to mention being there as well, but not enough to give a name. Alternatively, too important to need a reminder on who it was. Perhaps this individual is X? (The crossed out name (presumably) in the list of good things.) So whoever they are, they're someone Chronos is okay with being with in a relaxed situation like this, but obviously feels bad about to write and then cross out their name. (yeah if I make any future references to them, they can be X)

Night and Stars: again, there's an absence of the sun, but this time around, it's not as concerning as the red sky. Night is representative of mystery, and the unknown, of lies and secrets and other "goes bump in the night" things. but in this particular situation with the stars being mentioned, it's not necessarily a negative connotation. It's kinda relaxing, in a way.

Stars again, but off: but then there's also this- we love a good distortion of reality. it's not detailed exactly how, because Chronos doesn't even know, but it's always a weird feeling to just know something is off. I imagine this is an allusion to the weird thing Chronos experienced. this is reenforced by the next thing-

Being alone, suddenly: Chronos has just noticed something off about their reality, and suddenly they're alone. They're the only one who's seen this, but can't prove it to anyone because no one could believe them/is around to see it also. it normally would be isolating. terrifying. so it's certainly odd that Chronos was "calm" about this. I'm a bit stumped for why, but I'm gonna to think on this more as the posts continue. At least Chronos agrees that it was an odd reaction.

Ripples, like water: another reality distortion - apparently a common theme going so far. 'course this is also just a common thing for in dreams, of things going weirddddd. Why specifically ripples? I'd like to think its sort of like the ripple effect, or rather, the butterfly effect. Chronos has either seen, experienced, or done something they'd rather forget (as previously mentioned in D1's analysis) but yet it's still affecting their subconscious, and the effects of it are not going to go away just like that. A little life is strange butterfly in the corner of your screen for ya.

Reaching: oh would you look at that, they're experimenting (in a dreamscape) as to whether they should look into the weird thing more or not, and what might come of doing so-

Being overwhelmed: Ahh, the potential consequences for curiosity. Conclusion: Chronos is a cat, and we all know what happens there-

Conclusion:

Overall, I'd like to think a real interesting narrative is forming here- course, I'm trying my best not to corner myself in it lest I incidentally ignore a detail that tells a different (yet canon) story.

maybe it's the thing Ranboo said we haven't noticed yet, idk. but anyways funky story about a lil guy trying to pretend their reality isn't falling apart around them, but not being able to ignore it either-

if you have any thoughts on the dreams, feel free to reblog/comment, idk you could even carve it into wood and send it to space, if you think that would get your thoughts out into the world (or out of hdfgdgdg)

HEY GUYS AND WELCOME (BACK?) TO DREAMMMMM THEORYYYYYYYY-

(god maybe I need to add another disclaimer saying I'm not affiliated with Game Theory-)

I'm your host, the COOLER ZERO, and today we will be doing an in depth deep dive into the dreams of none other than the Writer of Chronicles Zero themselves.... CHRONOS (I'm still refusing to call them Zero)

Long post once again-

Very quick(?) backstory on Dream Theory/Psychoanalysis for you all:

(I'm not an expert, so give me slack if I'm a bit off-) (you're also welcome to skip this section if you just want the interpretations, I just felt it might be useful)

One of the first main people to use Dream theory in a psychological aspect was Freud, who. Is a person. That had both really good and really bad ideas about the Psyche. If you know anything about him I'm sure you know what I mean. Anyways-

Freud mainly interpreted dreams as being a form of wish-fufillment (though later discussed dreams that were obviously not that) and were often influenced by the preceding day. It's fairly straightforward to see in children, but in adults it often got complex and convoluted, with the original meanings were often lost behind a veil of distortion and disguise. As such, instead of interpreting an object within the dream at face value, you need to instead look deeper and find the real meaning hidden underneath.

Freud had a list of the main ways that a dream distorted it's own meaning:

- Condensation (a singular object represents multiple ideas/associations),

- Displacement (emotion surrounding one thing is instead applied to another),

- Visualisation (a thought is given a visual image),

- and Symbolism (a symbol replaces an action, person, or idea).

Freud also suggested that Nightmares and the like were failures of the minds ability to disguise/redirect fears and anxieties. (Do be aware, like every theory, there can be holes and things not covered. E.g trauma dreams that simply repeat the event in no way showcase wish fulfilment or the above distortions, as Freud's theories would suggest.)

----

Another theorist by the name of Jung, whilst not dismissive of Freud's interpretations, thought the notion of dreams being simple Wish-fulfilment to be rather limiting. He stated that Freud's interpretation of collecting associations would bring insights to the dreamer's mental complex, but not necessarily towards the meaning of the dream.

he instead proposed two approaches to analysing dream material: the objective, and the subjective. In the objective, everything within the dream is what it is at face value (a friend is your friend, a flower is a flower, etc), whilst in the subjective approach, everything instead represents an aspect of the dreamer.

(the article I'm referencing then goes on to say that "if the dreamer is being chased by a crazed killer, the dreamer may come eventually to recognize his own homicidal impulses." which is. A choice of an example.)

Jung also cautioned against blindly ascribing meaning to dream symbols without understanding of the dreamer's situation. One approach he suggests is that one must ask "why this symbol, and not another?", and from there you will find additional things about the dreamer's attitudes. this mightttt be a little tricky but I'll see what I can do.

(I am strictly not using the given examples of this section. Why Jung whyyyy-)

UH, there are other dream theory people- but I've talked about this enough already for a "quick" backstory.

( oh, my old english teacher would be so proud of me referencing Freud and Jung rn-)

----

Time for the actual interpretations!

D1:

the Red Sky: this one's interesting. obviously, red is a huge focal point colour in the gen loss 'verse, but that's not all. first off, we've seen it before. behind one of the dimension doors during The Spirit Of The Cabin, was a beach at which the sky was notciably red. Secondly, do any of you know the rhyme "red sky at night, sailors delight, red sky in the morning, sailors warning"? it's a really old saying (that has some factual reasoning, something to do with air pressure) for predicting bad weather, or in the case of night, good. it's not immediately obvious as to whether the the message in this case is good or bad, as the sun is "gone." (the whole red sky stuff is based on the sun being close to the horizon, so sunrise or sunset.) Perhaps this could be interpreted as Chronos knowing something that is important in someway, but they aren't sure whether it's a good or bad thing. most notably, they can't figure it out because their usual guide/compass/sun isn't around to help them. So it's an important message, yet unable to be interpreted.

Field of a unspecified plant: I'm not gonna lie, I first thought of catcher in the rye when I read this- (I'm not a huge fan of it, but it's fine). regardless, a field tends to represent an openness, an expansion of awareness. it can also be a comfort, something simple, natural- except the "terrain is weird". the distortion shows an upset to this, what would be kinda vibey and chill is now ehgheghegeggeg. Uh, ya. Also- Lostfield lmao-

something go wonky with lil ol' Lostfield.

walking, trying to find something (forgotten): a search for answers? perhaps? not knowing what you're looking for is certainly detrimental, but haven't we all at some point been trying to figure something out whilst not knowing what form the answer might be is? it's a sense of unfulfillment, not being entirely content with your current situation, but not entirely knowing what to do about it.

The Colour red: I'm fairly sure most of you on this website are well aware of colour theory. Regardless, I'm going to recap: red is a bright colour, attention grabbing. it symbolises enthusiasm, power, determination. However, it's also been associated heavily with warning signs and "hey, don't do that!" things, so most people generally have a "oh, that's not good at all" reaction upon seeing something red (especially when it isn't usually.). Also, blood! And painn. I suspect that our friend Chronos isn't doing too well, especially in terms of whatever was "eight months ago" and figuring out who (or what) to trust/go to for help.

sinking in dirt: your movement is impeded. you're 'bogged down' by something that is preventing you from continuing forward. likely, it's your own mental state of being and thoughts, which strengthens my current idea that Chronos isn't sure of who to trust and where to go next.

Cave, but unnatural. it's "created" and geometric: this is such an interesting thing. caves are such a common and natural thing of the world, and can be anything from beautiful to friggin terrifying. The fact it's "unnatural' suggest unease, but not from the fact it's a cave, but rather the fact it's been altered, changed, created. most likely by humans? but you never know. the geometry of it definitely gives off vibes of taking control, "taming" the wild, that sort of thing. (as opposed to the natural curves of a natural cave, when it's been left alone.) so, perhaps one of the things. wait! I nearly forgot about the white rock/concrete- which again! colour theory. cleanliness. blandness. wiping away colour, control. Concrete- man made, solid, controlled. not natural. ya.

"It": how the hell am I supposed to dream theorise on something Chronos isn't even telling us about apart from " waaa I don't wanna look it at it but the dream made me-" okay actually maybe I can do something with that. perhaps this "it" is the truth of something, a grand revilation which has tipped Chrono's life upside down. Chronos doesn't want to look at it because of how disruptive it is to their usual reality, but the dream/their subconscious wont let them forget. Think of it as the refusal of the call portion of the Hero's Journey. can't wait to see how well THAT works out for them-

Back in the field/a cycle: Chronos took the blue pill- they're back where they started. they've refused to act, are ignoring what's going on and not wanting to go any further. does this prevent bad things from happening? No! absolutely not.

(I actually honestly have no idea if I used any Freud or Jung stuff in my interpretations I just kinda- went)

D2 and D3 will come when it is a more reasonable for me to make it- although I'm gonna guess it now: D4 will be up already when I do.

sites I used when researching/making this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dream_interpretation

Sleepfoundation.org/dreams/dream-interpretation

https://www.cafeausoul.com/oracles/dream-dictionary (sorta. It was a little helpful at some points.)

[7ban-sama]

Could you rank the covers please?

haiiiiiiii, wakaru 👏 ikimashou

let's start with least favorites and work our way up, how 'bout.

starting with... this.

i could not care less-!!! it's kinda funny. nothing about the pose or colors or anything makes me feel much. i think mitsuba's school mystery outfit is busted lol, he feels like he has a bunch of stuff glued onto him. a bit too busy and silly for me to take seriously. his bones... his, eyeballs and little mirrors. feathers kinda like, bits n pieces stuck in his hair. i know you didn't choose to look like this mitsuba but it doesn't change the fact that i'm not into it... sorry.

it probably doesn't help that every time i'm reading PP i'm like god. get these clowns out of here-!! they're interrupting the DRAMA... feel like i'm asleep for their parts of this arc. so for them to get a cover is like sigh, whatever. it ruins the flow of all the amane focused ones lol... i wish i lived in the world where every PP volume had amane and nene on it. [thinks...] i would even sooner let shijima-san take one cover tho, if it had to be interrupted. just not this. -_-

next up...

i don't like kou. kinda repulsed by his pelvis zone here. big ugly guy huge forearms. i think i look cool in this image and the bg being black / there being a lot of gold present makes it more visually appealing than the previous cover. but only by so much.

i think it's kinda funny i have fangies and crazy swirly eyes. does it have to do with what vol 4 is... about? [pause...] hm... whose to say lol. it's funny, regardless.

this is.... neutral territory. i don't feel much about it. i'd say toilet trio illusts in general are very, snzz, i sleep. they can only be so interesting... it's sorta like seeing 'stock art' of a series, the things that go on t-shirts and cut-outs. Here are the characters. yep... nothing wrong with that, but nothing to be felt, past a point. esp when everyone is just big smiles or something, facing the audience. this doesn't really convey who they are as individuals, or their dynamic, even.

a part of me almost wishes someday there wouldn't be a need for depictions like this. i'd prefer seeing these 3 in a more grounded scene, if anything. [shitty amane voice] anyways.

now here's a few that are like. nothing felt. but i don't hate them. but it's like Lol.... there's genuinely nothing to be said. hearts nene is the cutest one here? let's go with that.

*amused huff* an image like this, i get the impression that i'm not the target demographic (genuine fujoshi...) so it's pretty logical it doesn't make me feel much. not the drawing's fault, really.

also, when akane is all bishie'd out in clock keeper mode, i can't feel anything about that. but he's not as ugly as kou to me. just wearing a funny outfit ig. meanwhile, hanako looks like a crazy whore. to a degree where it's funny? this is my mental image for what it's like when i suck off my brother. in this way, it has value.

the actual composition, colors used etc. is fine. neutral.

i kinda have a funny relationship with vol 1's cover. in 2020, when the anime released, people were posting gifs etc. of the OP (you know what part of the OP.) the only other thing i saw from the series, aside from that gif, was vol 1's cover. organically, my response to seeing these things in concert, was: "uhh, no thanks lol…" dismissing the series as, perhaps, a bit too shota-yaoi-gnarsty for someone like me… i look at too much porn on pixiv also, so i'm sort of... literate. when it comes to... shotacons. and this is the sort of image pings... a certain flavor... makes me go... "hmm… no… i don't need toilet-fuck-prisoner-skank-ghost-shota, thank you..." (not a value judgment. i'm just more of an oneeshota guy. normal heterosexuality swag.)

anyways, it's purely incidental that this was all i had seen. along with tons of your run of the mill "tsukasa tormenting amane" fanarts... it gave me such a particular impression of the series.

that being said, i never found this cover bad looking or anything. in fact, the style was pretty appealing-? (the style doesn't have to be bad for you to go, that's not my genre of porno ww) now that i've actually read it and love the series, i can say that vol 1 almost has this classic stink to it. it's just so effective. it's not wrong to look at this and think: shotacon bait manga. it absolutely is, lol. & i suppose my first instincts still weren't wrong. again, i'm not the target demographic.

now this is. a bit closer to being For Me. i am now within the target demographic. but it also kinda makes me angry 💔... like i'm being bullied, a bit. you know some images are a bit too gormlessly horny... like, even for me. oooh. nene-chan's being fed this cake. mmm, open up... frosting all over us.. her ankles bound, her pussy barely not visible. and this, mysterious inexplicable knife stabbing a mini heart. it's all like. [stoically] Ok...

you hand this to a 13 yo bird though, i think he'd be spellbound. ohhhhh. what is this...? so colorful... and if he opened the volume and saw that little alice in wonderland illust of nene between the twins + nene's teaparty outfit... he'd be like mrghhh.... *sucks up gravy*

same goes for vol 2's cover.

you hand this to teen bird, it's pure catnip. though i prefer it to the last one, due to the more... noncon lean. and ofc, just being hananene...~

the way nene is posed, the rope, the frills of her uniform, her crying. hanako looking like some scary vampire captor, about to whisk her away. flanked by the knife and scissors... ohhh. what's going to happen to her...? ⬅ i'm already checking this out of the library before this thought can fully crystalize.

it's not quite as lush or impressive as some of aida-sensei's other illusts though. i think her earliest art is most charming in the manga panels themselves. illusts like this, the bodies feel a little too evened out, to me. not so strong colors. mind you, still nice looking. and again with nene's pussy so nearly visible. Well thanks.

vol 3 is always like... *smiles weakly* mmmm. aida-sensei... i accept who you are. i do... i know you kinda can't help it, in some ways. but it's a shame this isn't more... IC... on tsuchigomori's end. i think this image skews a lot of the perception of tsuchigomori's rship with amane, which i dislike, because their rship in canon is... amusing. and tsuchigomori is a weak loser. but i understand what people typically want out of teacher/student. i leave the humble fujo be.

that aside, i'm a fan of everything else. dusky colors, moody expressions. tsukasa's hands reaching out and cupping amane's face. yes... lovely. it was a fun era, when alluding to tsukasa was best done through hands reaching out. something from the past, coming to haunt. i like amane's hat being off... the glass triangles used to show memories, the ropes, the tsubaki. we love imagery, guys.

these next few are like, "i love my wife" (ignores other person.)

i like tsukasa here. a girlie that goes, nyarrrr! fun and minxy, ever the delight to see. all the pinks and reds, the rosy color of the 'seal' kanji... hi sweetie. *blows a kiss* good luck doing your job.

i really like nene in this outfit. i suppose it finally makes you go "oh" about how she has pale hair and red eyes / and how this suits the typical miko white/reds. i'm actually glad we got to see it in a cover. she's all decked out... ornate... frills, draping fabric, big bow. flanked by flowrse and bells. fancy girlie.

i'm more aligned to shoujo manga and such, actually, so an image like kinda lights up the same part of my brain. a feeling like, "i know it well"... girls posed like dolls, together. classic.

you know me, idgaf about kou. but this girl is distinctly gorgeous. i love greyyyy as a background, and how she's composed of pallid colors. her tights feel so stark black. and then the soft yellow and orange in the flowers... ooh. she's really incredible. if it was a nene-only cover, this would be probably one of my absolute favorites. for severance, too, the vibes are flawless. dreary, drained.. enervated feeling girl. she's delicate. love love love.

we're entering a notable jump in favoritism. ⬆ all these prior covers had things like, details i was indifferent towards, or entire characters i wished weren't there/found neutral. ⬇ these next ones are closer to, 'i wouldn't change this, i like who is here'

auhhh... hakusumi... we're so lucky to have a cover dedicated to them. one of my favorite volumes, too, in terms of literal events. i like this pose and the contrast of their expressions... sumire's eyes always feel like they're purposefully kinda, intense and creepy. i think hakubo is appropriately passive... below... but pawing up at her. i really love sumire's hand splayed on his chest too~ kya. vivid purbles... touches of greem... quite nice.

I like these all about the same amount. I look cool in them. Which is nice, because this arc is mostly about me.

i'm simple... i enjoy the duality of amane and hanako. i think PP does a good job at playing with this divide in living self / current ghost self, what it means to have been this. what is the authentic self? what does he really feel? it's even more convoluted when you have hanako functionally RP'ing as his past self.

i like how hanako has more of a severity to him, in these side-by-sides. amane is supposed to be the one who is just a normal boy, 'before tragedy', so he's all smiles. but isn't it funny, with how nene sees past amane as miserable and current hanako as cheery, smiley smiley...? he's a complicated guy, isn't he.

i'm a fan of the colors of vol 9. excitable telescope boy. then, the kinda, paint-splotch feeling details at the ends of his legs, fun allusion to the painting-in-progress world. for vol 11's original cover, i like the stark white bg for hanako. his expression... it's one of those expressions that makes me think aida-sensei is a wizard. how is she doing that...? he looks crazy... but it's so subtle. he also kinda feels like he's about to bite his lip? this + the fingers threaded over rope... a lot. his companion amane meanwhile just feels crazy in a different way, as a result.

handsome coolness abound. ty sensei.

hehehe. 20 is just so ffffffffun! tsukasa giving major "the puppet master that cursed your dick" energy. dark eyes and lidded gaze... seeing the ropes threading around his fingertips is just so fun. they're often off-screen, or blooming from within characters, so i like to see them so decidedly coming from tsukasa. he's orchestrating so much, it's so appropriate, isn't it-!? we owe a lot to him.

i was looking forward to sakura finally getting a feature on a cover. her listless expression and limp body works well with this all. contrast with tsukasa seated somewhat to the side, flanking her. it's cute that these are the colors that mean "spring!" in japan. and aida-sensei has put out so many spring-themed illusts featuring pinks and greens this year. so festive.

it all comes to roost then, in this cover. touches of green in tsukasa's spooky corpse fingertips. the pink all around is giving Femininity, as much as it's giving... sickness... feverishness... i like how sakura's uniform and tsukasa's hakama are a similar shade. pleats and frills... yes yes. i suppose this cover is doing more for me, in the "two pretty girls posed together like dolls" department. it's more on the unhinged side. love love.

these two... they make me stunned by aida-sensei's ability to make an image is simply so... beautiful? fills me with such yearning. i wish i could make something half this good, ahaha. i must drink in these images...

they showcase some softer feeling amanes. crazy boys in prev volumes are fun, but they're not really playing off of the right energy, to me. (not at their full potential yet...?) meanwhile, covers like these, i think the execution is perfect. here's the boy... your title boy. i'm forced to understand why my wife finds me to be handsome, ig.

the illust for the pilot release feels so sweet. like aidairo themselves are fond of their initial pitch still. to include aspects of his old design (like, no thick trim on the gakuran) within aida's more modern style is very cool. translucent... ghostie boy. you know him well. all the flowers frame him nicely.

for the far shore/severance situation, it's quite fascinating to see amane like this. amidst all the madness... i think it's a good follow up to the red house also. this... is the guy we're trying to get back to. the paper lantern he's holding is such a simple yet wonderful detail also. idk... he's really a japanese ghost. he really on "the other side"... in a procession, with the other spirits. and i love the abstract bits of buildings and vehicles floating about, representing the far shore. the sunset orange clouds and bright blue sky... sugoi.

this one makes me feel so simple. sometimes, you just have wife emotions. (i have 4 yo tsu as my bg on tumblr & my pc...💞) i love you BAY-BEEE!!! you're so special to me!! kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss.

this to me is almost like, the blessed version of "this reeks of a shotacon" lolll... cuz now we're at an age range/size that i'm like YEAH!! OOUEHH!!! FUN!!!!!!! BOLD! INTERESTING!! SHOW ME MORE!? i love to see TOYS and DOLLIES, yeahhh! a toy piano!! a robot!! lil cars!! bouncy ball!!! rocky horse! YES!! IT'S ALL THE THINGS!!

center stage, we have tsukasa preciously holding his teddybear. the ripped seams and overflowing stuffing... his lil suspenders and shorts. the thick, vibrant red socks! weewoo. i would say it's a perfectly executed piece. straightforward. welcome to the toy room! it's bright and colorful and a little ominous... don't you want to know more about this lil guy-!? don't you just wanna scoop him into your arms. yes, of course you do!! come on in...

this is probably my absolute favorite volume also... it's so concentrated... i just love this arc sf much. 9.9 the volume sleeve illusts + contents page are perfect. this random illust of hanako that the volume opens up with is very sick & twisted, he scares me. but i also love it very much. and then the first pages are tsukasa asking to play. 10/10... love the whole package. this cover is like a ribbon on top of it all.

[scuffs shoe... gets small.] [hides under my hat.]

... 💦 ... .. .. .... ..... 💦💦 ... ... ............... ..

girlfriend. emotions. (these are somehow different than wife emotions.) she's... resplendent... i don't deserve her... idk, it's hard. to talk about this one, gomen, if this comes out awkwardly.

but it's... just. really pretty. after the whole PP, hurts to look at. the biiiig moon in the sky. dreamy lil stars. the red of her eyes... and for nene to be threading both her hands over his, while red rope binds them together... wonderful. i like how the ropes perfectly kiss with 'red string of fate'... also this all gives me OT3 feels. (tsukasa often symbolized by the moon...) overall, does a great job at conveying the climax of this many-volume arc.

it's a lovely image. and the odd angle to amane's face is inspiring for me, also. i wanna be able to properly represent the huuuge eyes and lil muzzles that the characters in JSHK have. they feel like my little ponies... i must learn how to capture this...

[getting even smaller. ragged.] [sighhhhing forlornly, leaning out a window.] it's my favorite cover. but also, it's my favorite inner sleeve illust... so i must include it. hopefully, you'll understand me, as you see them side-by-side.

the cover, though... it's got it all, i guess. intimacy. atmosphere. expressions are loaded. the hand to yashiro's face... her nape visible. the stars, the lights, the summer night vibe, due to tanabta. yashiro decorated in tsubaki, in her beautiful yukata. the big fanciful bow obi. the air feels thick, humid. gorgeous... wouldn't change a thing.

i love all that tanabta encapsulates. ooh. it's the peak of it all... we're star-crossed lovers, aren't we. reaching through streams of time to meet one another. the indulgence of the age gap... nene onee-san... choosing to meet her again, over dreaming of the future. that's how it always works, right...? love always supersedes any vague wishing of a, career, or w/e... flimsy, in comparison. [i use my severe tone and lots of eye contact to convey that this alludes to the choice to die with tsukasa vs grow up and be an astronaut.]

in the chapter itself, we see that hanako vaguely has some... feeling... memory... of nene's forehead kiss. and i think that's conveyed in the cover, too~ it feels like he can't resist a pull. memories... a long-existing crush, incubating...~ how long has this girl been haunting you...

woof, the romance that oozes from it all... it makes me feel so soooo simple. i like that aidairo can be so... earnest? about it all? we're tying key romantic events with our main couple, to THE romantic festival.. yayaya... yes.... thank you...

all this. all this! and knowing the yugi are running around, eating cotton candy, playing with sparklers, late into the night... we really can have it all, can't we?

[boognish-worshipper]

Midnight City AU

this is an au where the main characters are all young adults!! (or millennials ig? they’re in their 20s basically) i gave a rundown of what’s what on a diff post,, i’m also splitting it up into diff chapters,, so this is gonna take a looooong time to finish. i’m posting this before i nitpick my writing to the max

it’s basically a lot of references to that point in time, artists, pop culture etc. all the chapters are named after songs from that era (including the name of this au bc i love midnight city and what better way to describe LS ‼️), and the lyrics r usually connected to what the chapter’s about, or about a character dynamic :D i hope this isn’t too cheesy, or sounds off ig. any typos in this were probably over looked bc i constantly reread my writing and rearrange stuff and make sure it sounds good 🥳 hope y’all enjoy !!! i’m also including a tag to find the chapters under :)

//Chapter 1: Crimewave

Trevor would never, ever admit it, but he had fallen into the category known as “post-hipster”. This was a strange era that began culminating, taking LS by storm. Whether he liked it or not, he could never avoid it. Even if he swore up and down he wasn’t like them, it was practically a paradox. Saying he wasn’t like them just made him a branched off version of the thing he denounced. Each aesthetic that was churned out as the 2010s rolled in were tied to a style, a sound, and Trevor couldn’t care less. It’s not like people liked what he liked. He didn’t belong to anything in particular, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t like them. If anything, he just became another obscure genre in the mix.

One of his favorite music groups was a Canadian duo called Crystal Castles. He enjoyed a good number of their songs, developing an interest for electropunk and pop punk. There was something unique about the sound, and it made Trevor feel special, like he discovered some sort of hidden treasure. He was into pop punk groups like Paramore too, but it was something about them that was just different. People knew Paramore. He often lingered around Sterling Lake, where other post-irony hipsters and classic hipsters resided, careful not to fully associate with them. After all, he apparently despised them, even though he participated in their strange… “culture”. If you could even call it that. From time to time he would find himself discussing his favorite artists with whatever semi-normal person was there, making a couple friends himself who weren’t the snooty kind he’d grown used to.

They all loved talking about how exceptional their taste in music was, a wide variety of people hanging around with their own cliques. Some liked Fall Out Boy, while others liked Blink-182, and then there were the weirdos who liked groups like Radiohead. Most of those guys were whiny, proclaiming how misunderstood they were. He knew maybe one Radiohead song at most (he definitely, definitely never cried to “Creep” and even if he did, so what) but never found himself willingly getting into their music. Then you had the nosedivr crowd, which consisted of mostly girls, and the occasional hipster guy that defected. Their taste was.. alright. Consisted of artists like Lana Del Ray and Marina and the Diamonds, who were their idols. He found almost everyone there besides the few friends he made kind of edgy, and not in the cool way. But he figured all hipsters and guys like them were kind of uncool. Don’t even get him started on those other indie rock types. God. He still came back as often as he could though, establishing some kind of routine. Most people there avoided him anyway, which he preferred. He had enough troubles with them in the past. There was one day he grew tired of the people gawking at him, and he launched a hipster right into the lake. So yeah, nobody within their right mind so much as looked in his direction. That was just how he rolled.

Today, he sat on a nearby bench in Sterling Lake’s park, watching some ducks float on water. His usual friends had been there too, seeing his clowncore buddy Wade with his cousin Floyd. Wade was extremely different than the pretentious fucks around them. He had a shit ton of piercings, and ICP was his favorite music group. Floyd on the other hand, fit right in. Almost too much, like it was something he was forced to do. But he did genuinely enjoy Weezer, of all things you could enjoy. Wade started waving at Trevor, while Floyd hid behind him. All he did was awkwardly wave back, turning his attention back to the lake. He liked Wade, but the clown stuff he wore sometimes spooked him. He didn’t pay much mind to his relative. Looking back across the water, he saw someone new, observing the area. Some dude a little above the average height, hands in his pockets walking around. He seemed a bit lost, and Trevor figured he should help if he was. After all, what was this guy doing here? New people didn’t show up often.

“Hey bud, you lost or something?”

“Oh uh, nah not really. I’m just looking for this girl I met a while ago, said she hangs out around here?”

“What she look like? I’m here pretty often.”

“Uhh kinda short, dark brownish hair? Wears fishnet stockings, high waisted shorts or whatever those grunge people are into.”

“Let me guess, she into the Neighborhood?”

“How’d you know?”

“Yeah, that’s Amanda, she’s a bit of a regular. Not too fond of me I must say.”

“How come?”

“She’s just petty towards me.” He said with a shrug. He didn’t feel like relaying his encounters with her if the guy was dating her or something.

“Oh… well d’ya think you could help me find her? I don’t really know anybody else here. I could actually use the help, since you know her.”

“Eh sure, why not.”

It’s not like he had anything better to do. The two began to walk around the park, gravel and dirt crunching beneath their feet.

“So.. what’s this place about?” The strange guy asked.

“Hm? Oh, it’s just one of those places the hipster folks meet up I guess. Don’t understand it much myself, nor do I really like them.”

“Then why do you come here?”

“Dunno. It’s relatively peaceful, those freaks keep to themselves.”

The man, who was only a smidge shorter than Trevor, glared up at him.

“Hey man, don’t call my girl a freak.”

“Ehh I don’t really count her in with the generic skinny jean wearing hipsters. More of a.. what is it called.. nosedivr type. Whatever that stupid website’s called. Why do you think she dresses like that?”

“Huh.. Never really thought to ask her.”

As he thought about the stuff Amanda wore, he took note of how the man next to him was dressed. He sported an olive jacket with a black turtle neck, and a plain pair of jeans. He wore beat up black converse to top it off, and a pair of Rimmers sunglasses sat upon his head. He looked simple, yet distinguished with the way he presented himself, hair neatly combed back. He figured the two would look nice standing next to one another. They would’ve made an attractive couple, if they weren’t dating already, the kind that turns heads. Trevor wasn’t like them. He wore a black beanie over his mullet, and his favorite pair of red Dix sunglasses rested on the bridge of his nose. The rest of his fit looked disheveled. He had thrown on a wrinkled top, solid black with little surf boards and cars along the bottom- he was a sucker for Hawaiian shirts. His pants were tan colored but had some bleach stains, with old combat boots on his feet.

“Yeah, we may not like each other but I don’t really consider her a freak like those guys.”

He jutted a thumb in the direction of a circle of guys huddled around a phone. The man holding the phone had strawberry blonde hair and a clean outfit on. An expensive looking outfit.

“Who are they?”

“The people here I absolutely cannot fucking stand. The genuine hipsters.”

“Oh.. and you’re..?”

“I’m my own kind. I’m not like these losers, all uppity and shit.”

“Right. Gotcha.”

They walked around a bit more before finding the group Amanda was with. She sat on a bench, chatting with a few girls who dressed similarly to her. All of them had black incorporated into their style. She herself had a black jumper on, tucked neatly into the front of her jean shorts. Just like the guy described, she had fishnets on under them, skater shoes to match. Loose braids fell on her shoulders, and a small black choker was wrapped around her neck.

“Oh, there he is now! Babe! Over here!”

She narrowed her eyes upon seeing Trevor standing next to him.

“Hello, Trevor.” She huffed.

“Relax, I was helping your boyfriend or whatever look for you.”

Her face softened slightly, but still kept a small glare in his direction. She pressed her lips together tight before replying.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Yup.”

The man turned to face Trevor, sticking out a hand.

“Hey, thanks for showing me around. Trevor, is it?”

“Don’t wear it out.”

He shook his hand, noticing how soft it was. It was in stark contrast to his own, which was rough and calloused.

“Name’s Michael. I’ll see you around most likely? Thanks again.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Amanda huffed again, nudging Michael’s shoulder.

“Let’s go hun, Bean Machine closes soon!”

“I’m comin’ I’m comin’!”

The two sauntered off, hand in hand. Trevor stood dumbly, watching them walk away. He was right. They did look good together. He wondered if he would actually see this Michael again, kicking a rock. He went back to the bench he originally sat at, putting his earbuds in, listening to some Crystal Castles again to pass the time. The beat thumped in his ears, and all he could think was how much better this shit was compared to that club music shit that played on every radio station in a 5 foot radius. He sat there, scrolling through his own secret nosedivr account, reblogging some photo of a lit cigarette. Right before a hand touched his shoulder causing him to jump.

“What the fuck- Oh. Ron.”

Ron was another friend of Trevor’s, a guy he had met outside one of the iFruit stores talking about how “they’re tapping the phones they sell in there!” and all that conspiracy nonsense. He was a paranoid guy, but Trevor kind of liked that about him. Those were the kind of freaks he liked. He was shorter than Trevor, sort of frail in stature. He wore a bright red windbreaker over a faded tourist tee that read “I went to Liberty City and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!”, along with khaki colored cargo shorts. It didn’t help that he wore some goofy looking bucket hat, and socks with sandals. He dressed like someone’s middle aged father.

“Trevor! Have you seen Wade around anywhere?”

“Last I checked, he was with Floyd.”

“Did he say where he was going?”

“Uh no, but my best bet is they went to that vinyl shop Floyd’s girlfriend works at.”

“Will ya come with me to find him?”

“Now why the fuck would I do that? What do you need him for?”

“Well I- I uh- um..”

“I uh! I uh! Spit it out Ron!”

“It’s about the Merryweather Night Club.”

Merryweather was a big organization that had a wide range of private clubs all over the country, and complimentary body guards to suit. They were all expensive as fuck, and anywhere they settled jacked up the prices of everything else. A lot of neighborhoods became gentrified as a result, and people actually considered it a good thing. What a fucking joke. Trevor of course couldn’t stand it. He hated bullies, and Merryweather was no exception. He’d been wanting to dismantle the club since they settled in LS, seeing as they only amplified the fake feel of the city. Let’s just say he’s gotten into more than a few scuffles with the club. And let’s just say it ended with someone getting stabbed as a result. The guy had it coming to him anyway. Between bouncers and the clubbers, they didn’t like Trevor or his kind loitering around the joint. It didn’t stop him from plotting some sort of revenge though. Ron per usual was on board, his reason being Merryweather’s violent history that had been swept under the rug. They were rather forceful relocating people who had lived in certain neighborhoods for years, Ron being one of their victims. Wade only decided to tag along because he wanted to be included.

“Ah fuck, what’d those bastards do now?”

“They’re throwing some big party!”

“…What fucking for?”

“All I know some guy’s coming to visit, somebody they labeled important and he’s-“

“Woah woah woah wait, Ron. Who?”

“Steve Haines.” He breathed out, careful not to be overheard.

Trevor’s eyes widened, his gaze shooting over to the posse he had poked fun of before. Steve was talking to the group, all of them doing that fake laugh they always did. God, even their humor was pretentious.

“Those fucking hipsters!” He hissed.

“I abhor them, you know that-“

“I know. I know. But, that Weston guy’s gonna be there with him-“

“Weston? Devin Weston?”

If Trevor hated hipsters, then he utterly loathed rich daddy’s money boys like Devin Weston. He had only gotten that stupid fucking night club because his father paid Don Percival enough money to let Devin do whatever he pleased with the Merryweather body guards. It was an elitist club, and they only allowed the best of the best in there.

“What the fuck’s going on there?”

“Something to do with those guys he hangs out with. I think they’re doing something major, expansion maybe-”

“And him and Devin are working together or..?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t hear much after that, that’s why I wanted to grab you and Wade and-”

“Then let’s fucking go get him, Ron!”

The two rushed out of there, heading for the vinyl store to look for Wade. Trevor knew a shit storm was coming, and he absolutely couldn’t wait.

//the next chapter’s gonna be longer i promise lolz

[lilypixels]

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

[lovemesomesurveys]

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? I choose 3: Coffee mugs, water bottles, and soda cans.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Chocolate bars.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was the “pleasure to have in class.”

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Cans or bottles. 

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Pastel.

7. earbuds or headphones? Earbuds.

8. movies or tv shows? Both.

9. favorite smell in the summer? The smell of the ocean/beach air, coconut, and sunscreen.

10. game you were best at in p.e.? I sucked at everything.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Over-easy eggs and Eggo’s.

12. name of your favorite playlist? My main playlist on Spotify is my “Starred” playlist.

13. lanyard or key ring? Key ring. 

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Candy corn.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? One of them is A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? I sit with my legs crossed or to the side.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? My black Adidas.

18. ideal weather? Fall and winter weather.

19. sleeping position? I sleep slightly turned to my side.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? My laptop.

21. obsession from childhood? I was obsessed with Barbies.

22. role model? My mom.

23. strange habits? My eating habits. I pick apart my food and eat it that way, I’m very picky and particular about my food, I like some odd pairings, my appetite is up and down, I don’t eat edges...

24. favorite crystal? Rose quartz and amethyst are really pretty.

25. first song you remember hearing? I have no idea. Probably something on Barney, another childhood obsession I had when I was really little.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Go to the beach

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Enjoy hot cups of coffee. I drink it year round, but it’s even more special during the cold months.

28. five songs to describe you? *shrug*

29. best way to bond with you? Watch the same TV show series.

30. places that you find sacred? The beach.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I have no such outfit. I’m not a badass, I’m a a lame ass. ha.

32. top five favorite vines? Vine is dead.

33. most used phrase in your phone? Uhh, I have no idea? 

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? I don’t have any.

35. average time you fall asleep? It really varies.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Pfft, I have no idea.

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Both.

38. lemonade or tea? Tea.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon cake.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Nothing I’ve experienced.

41. last person you texted? My mom.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets. 

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie, leather, jean, and bomber.

44. favorite scent for soap? The typical soap scent for body soap. I like various scented ones from Bath and Body Works for hand soaps. I’m obsessed with their foamy hand soaps.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? I enjoy all 3.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Lounge shorts or t-shirt dress.

47. favorite type of cheese? I love a variety of different cheeses. 

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I don’t know.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? There isn’t one.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Uhh, I have no idea.

51. current stresses? Health stuff as always.

52. favorite font? Tahoma, Verdana, Georgia.

53. what is the current state of your hands? What?

54. what did you learn from your first job? I haven’t had a job.

55. favorite fairy tale? Is Alice in Wonderland one?

56. favorite tradition? Holiday ones.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Various surgeries and health related things.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? I have no talents.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? I don’t know.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I don’t know.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? I have a lot of those.

62. seven characters you relate to? I don’t feel like spending a bunch of time thinking about it.

63. five songs that would play in your club? Five upbeat, catchy songs ha. I’m too lazy for this.

64. favorite website from your childhood? Neopets, dollcentral or something like that, Club Penguin... I can’t think of the others I frequented.

65. any permanent scars? Yes, several.

66. favorite flower(s)? I don’t have one.

67. good luck charms? I don’t believe in luck.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Seafood and alcohol.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Blah.

70. left or right handed? Right.

71. least favorite pattern? Animal prints.

72. worst subject? Math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? Dipping my sandwiches that have mayo in it in my ramen cause I like the mayo and ramen flavor combo.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? Well, I’m on a pain management regimen so I’m on a schedule to try and keep the pain manageable. 

75. when did you lose your first tooth? I think I was 6.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I love potatoes in a lot of different ways.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I have no idea.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Coffee from a gas station. I don’t like sushi at all from anywhere.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? I don’t have a driver’s license, but I never liked my school ID photos.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? No bugs.

82. pc or console? PC.

83. writing or drawing? Writing.

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts.

84. barbie or polly pocket? I had both, but I was obsessed with Barbies.

85. fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales.

86. cookies or cupcakes? Both.

87. your greatest fear? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life...

88. your greatest wish? To get my health under control and do something with my life.

89. who would you put before everyone else? I put my loved ones first.

90. luckiest mistake? Uhh.

91. boxes or bags? Depends?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy lights.

93. nicknames? Steph and Sis.

94. favorite season? Fall and winter.

95. favorite app on your phone? Kindle, DoorDash, YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook.

96. desktop background? Alexander Skarsgard.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? Just a few that I’ve known forever.

98. favorite historical era? Hm.

[whereisvanderwood]

Thirty Day Trial

Along with the final sales of the Vanderwood Zine, we have been given permission to post our full contribution to the zine! I had the privilege to write a short story for the project which indulges my own personal love for coffee shop stories. Thank you to everyone who purchased the zine, and well done to everyone else who contributed! ^^

☆☆☆☆☆

Anyone could miss it if they tried looking for it. Maybe that's why it was his favourite place; it was his getaway from his everyday life; his escape from the inescapable. Fitting for someone living such a life as he was.

Beyond the Devil's Ivy, draped over the wooden mantle of the footpath, was a glass door. Nothing special about it, but its simplicity was charming. His eyes searched the interior before his fingers curled around the handle. They searched for the familiar messy bun of brown hair bobbing up and down, sported with a new, colourful headscarf every time he visited. He always liked to guess before he saw it, wondering if he really was as good at profiling as his job demanded. Today, she wore mustard yellow.

He fiddled with something in his trademark leopard-print coat. His cheeks were soon dusted in a bright pink, and the thumping in his chest was amplified. Maybe this is a bad idea, he tried convincing himself. Swallowing the nerves, he reeled back his ambiguity, and finally opened the door.

Greenery was hung from multiple corners of the shop. Potted plants of a wide variety sat cozily on floating wooden shelves that stretched across the walls, contrasting beautifully against the birch. Ground coffee beans, mixed with the smell of fresh petrichor from cracked open windows, created a flowery, nut-smelling incense, and his muscles melted at the first whiff. The door's corner bell rung and staff members called out a welcome while they carried several trays of steaming coffee. The rest, meanwhile, paused as they recognised the old face.

"Nice to see you again, Vanderwood," they smiled and nodded, speaking his name with a tinge more gusto. This caught the attention of the one behind the coffee machine, the girl in the yellow headscarf. She stood on her tippy-toes and peered over the top.

"Same to you," he greeted back. His gaze caught the girl's, and she lowered herself out of sight. He thought it was an odd look she gave him, but thought not much of it while he took a seat in front of her at the bar.

He folded his arms atop the counter, watching her oddly glare at the milk jug under the steam wand. "Hey," he tried to get her attention.

She didn't respond.

"Uhh, hello?" he tried again, but still received the cold silence. "Remember me?"

The girl slammed the jug down on the bench, some milk splashing onto her cheek. She ignored it and poured the foam into the cup, showing a poor attempt at latte art. She then carelessly set the cup onto the saucer, wobbling enough to spill it over the plate, but she didn't seem to care as she took it to a gentleman sitting by the window, who gave the barista a disapproving shake. Vanderwood, thinking he'd seen her enough to know she always took the time to perfect the art of coffee-making with great precision, was taken aback at this sight. He'd never seen her like this before. He glanced at the other staff nearby, their attention caught at the girl's noisy behaviour, hoping for an explanation. They shrugged, only having known as much as he did as to why she was acting the way she was.

"MC, are you mad at me?" he tried a third time.

"Mm hm," she grumbled.

"What? Why?"

She ignored him again.

"I haven't even been here to do anything—"

Vanderwood cut himself off, slack-jawed as realisation dawned on him. He looked at nothing in particular while he thought before looking back to MC. Her eyes finally met his, but they were wide open with eyebrows raised, unimpressed. 'There you go; you figured it out,' her expression read.

"I'm sorry. There were things I had to do."

"Like what?" she quickly bit back.

What Vanderwood wanted to say, the truth he wanted to share with no consequence, was caught on his tongue. He was always telling himself that going to the same place, over and over, for too long was dangerous, and only a recipe for disappointment. For all he knew, the man MC served her coffee to, keeping his head low behind the newspaper he read, was an enemy informant. The other barista, young and hippy with oval optics, tall and muscular, could be a field agent in disguise. He knew better than anyone that looks were deceiving.

He awkwardly cleared his throat. "I got called into work."

"It was awfully good timing, if you ask me," MC argued.

"What the hell does that mean?" 

"You're going to tell me you don't remember an inkling of our last conversation?"

"Hey, come on. It was at least a few months ago."

"Not even the mood?"

Vanderwood, perturbed by her reactions, let his frustration slip. "It seems like the more you ask, the more upset you get. How many times do you want me to say I don't remember?"

She leaned down to the same height as he was, her face in her hands while her cheeks went rosy peach, and sighed in defeat. He sat there, addled. Yet, he couldn't help feeling a shred of enjoyment, undeterred by both sides being as agitated as they were. He couldn't let himself stay feeling that way, not for as long as it was her he was talking to. They hadn't spoken this way before—it was all small talk with some sugar-coated comments here and there up until then. This felt real. Authentic. He liked it.

Her eyes peered from between her fingers. "So, I have to spell it out to you, all over again."

"Seems to be the case,” he shrugged.

Clearly feeling awkward, MC tapped the bench, made some funny mouth noises, and groaned. It took some time before she bit the bullet and put words to her turning thoughts.

"What I was trying to say, before you left so quickly," she began, "was... maybe we could, I don't know, get to know each other."

"I thought we broke the ice ages ago. I know who's in your family, your hobbies, your favourite band—"

"No, I don't mean like that," she huffed. "I meant the other way."

Vanderwood wasn't proud of having 'analysed' MC's body language at their first meeting. It was a tactic used only to observe his enemies that allowed him to calculate the best method of dispatch; to turn their weaknesses against them. He felt as though it would betray the trust MC had naively, in his perception, placed in him. But in this case, he couldn't help but give in to temptation. He wanted to understand her.

He watched her eyes nervously shift to all corners of the room, saw how she bit her lower lip and tapped her fingers across the bartop, trying to uncover her intentions. At last, when he'd connected the dots, he realised he'd seen this language before in many of his foes' paired assignments, and was the exact Achilles’ heel he often exploited in many of his missions.

His hand shifted to cover half of his mouth when he finally caught on. "Oh... you mean 'that' way." His words were muffled.

"Yes, 'that' way," MC reiterated. "I know we've only known each other as the customer and the  barista for however long you've been coming by, but you seem like you would be a nice person to get to know and I, I don't know, I feel like I'm always lonely here when you're not around..."

Yes, I feel the same way! 

His heart cried out, but he did well to keep it concealed. He didn't realise his hand had reached into his pocket at her words, and balled it tightly into a fist, gripping onto the gift. He couldn't bring himself to take it out again. He understood what he'd be doing if he did.

I want to get to know you, too.

 "I don't think that's a good idea."

"What? Why not?" She stammered.

"You wouldn't want to stick around a guy like me. I made you wait for all those months and didn't even think to consider your feelings. You really want to 'get to know' a guy like that?"

MC looked down at her twiddling thumbs. "I... I realise now that you probably had a good reason for not coming by. A-And it's not really fair of me to expect you to when you have a busy life of your own. I'm sorry."

Vanderwood's fist slowly began to loosen. "No, I am. I shouldn't have kept coming. There are reasons why I never stay in one place for long."

"You sound like a man on the run," MC mused. "Sounds adventurous."

"Try 'dangerous'. My situation is... complicated."

"Isn't everyone's?"

"No, you don't understand, MC." He took a moment to look side to side, checking for any watchful eyes of customers. "I can't be close to anyone. No friends, family, colleagues, no one. Even if we were to... you know... it would never work." His voice fell flat, his words drifting away with the cafe ambience.

"How about this--" she began with a new spurt of confidence in her, "give me one month."

"What?" He raised his head. "For what?"

"To change your mind. For one month, I'll be ‘someone 'close' to you. And if you hate it, I won't bother you again. But you have to give it thirty days. That’s the deal."

Vanderwood unfolded his arms and placed his hands flat on the bar. "No. You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

 MC mimicked his actions. "You don't know what you're missing out on."

"I do, and I don't need it."

"But you know you want it."

"Stop goading me."

"Not until I win."

Vanderwood ran a hand through his hair. He grumbled something under his breath with his forehead on the counter, like he was throwing a tantrum. After some time passed, he was still in complete silence, leaving MC to wait anxiously.

Finally he spoke, lifting one finger above his head. "One month. That's it."

"Really!?"

"I won't say I told you so when it all goes to hell... But if you want this to work, we have to do things my way, got it?" His face was stern, but there was a glimmer in his eye and a tug on his lips.

MC, on the other hand, was euphoric. The jitters of asking someone on a date returned to her all at once and her knees were a wobbling mess. Her heart was thumping wildly, but she did well to keep herself in check. She couldn't help but let a fist pump under the counter slide, though. 

"Then it's a date," she beamed.

"I guess, since we're doing this and all..." Vanderwood reached back into his pocket and pulls from it the leopard-print headscarf he'd been carrying with him for the past number of weeks, and sheepishly held it out to her. "I-I got you something. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to."

“You… got this for me?” She delicately plucked the fabric from his fingers. She looked it over, twirling it in her grasp, running her thumbs across the cotton as though it were delicate silk.

In the next moment, she undid her yellow headscarf, her hair falling elegantly onto her shoulders. Vanderwood had never seen her with her hair down before. He watched on as she effortlessly perfected her trademark hair-do with her new accessory. He suddenly felt the need to remove his heavy coat, the room suddenly a hot sauna.

"See? You can do this--you’re already getting your girlfriend a present,” she beamed.

“Easy on the girlfriend talk. It’ll take the first twenty-nine days to get used to hearing that.”

“Oh, I can fix that. You’re going to have the best thirty days of your life.”

☆☆☆☆☆

Thank you @vandyzine for the opportunity to take part in this! It’s been great working with you all :)

[elle-boll]

Backstage - John Deacon

A fic??? On this blog??? Pshhhhhh...

So uh, yeah, I am just making one. All my Roger content and all hopes of continuity are gone, whoopsie, appears I am just lazy. But this is a nightly post from yours truly, and I hope you enjoy some awkward Deaky!!!

Summary: A night at a Queen concert lands you and your best friend backstage, however only one of you is getting action...the other is left to some awkwardness backstage

Warnings: Mentions of sex (no explicit writing!) and some swearing :”)

Word Count: 2K 

---

It was a late Summer’s evening, in the back of the taxi was you and your best friend, Cindy, both chatting with excitement. You were both pulling out handheld mirrors to check your hair. Two pit tickets were nestled in your pocket and you both had a plan devised to make it to the barrier. In her words, she wanted to feel the spit on her face, graphic indeed. The pair of you could barely hold back your giggles as the taxi parked outside the venue, a wad of cash in your hand as you passed it into the front seat.

You both sweaty as you had ran to the barricade, pushing past people but not slow enough to be pushed back behind them. Your hands clasped around the fence as you both stared at one another in disbelief. You both laughed between deep breaths, trying to come back around to yourself, to prepare yourselves. The stage was almost in arm’s reach but your hands just grasped the barrier instead, determined not to be pushed behind the hoards of equally eager fans. The venue lights shone down on the audience as the lights on the stage turned on suddenly, you could practically feel your heart leaping from your chest. 

Throughout the night, you both clung onto each other and sang till your throats felt red raw and sore. Your legs felt weak from jumping around and your arms were tired trying to reach out to Freddie as he pranced around the stage. Your eyes had gone to the very back of the stage to see Roger, his eyes, while on his set, were also in your direction, but not at you. You turned to Cindy and made a comment along the lines of; “I think he likes you!” but you both just cackled at the idea of the drummer of Queen staring at your best friend, and so did she.

The concert had ended with a bang, you could feel your sweat dripping off your forehead and you saw Cindy had teary eyes, you just laughed and took her into your arms, still cheering. You both went to make it to the exit, exhilarated and slowly coming off the concert high when a hand had tapped Cindy’s shoulder. A large man in a suit like uniform had tapped her.

“Sorry ma’am but I’ve been asked to bring you backstage if you have the time?” He asked, holding out an ‘All Access’ pass to her. She turned her head to you with utter shock on her face, but you stared at the man instead. 

“I’m afraid she won’t be goin’ anywhere without her personal bodyguard' You smirked, hearing her snicker slightly. He turned slightly and spoke into a radio attached to his chest pocket, you noticed the logo of a security service embroidered onto his sleeve. He nodded, requesting you both follow him, opening the barrier to let you in. You overheard a few comments made by passersby, some rude, some intrigued.

The backstage was bustling with life, electricians, security, cleaners, all the sorts were rushing around after the concert. You walked down towards a hall in the venue, presumably to the dressing room. 

“Down that hall, no turns just straight on, there’s a communal area, make yourself comfy” He gestured down the hall as he stopped outside a door with the name, “Taylor, Roger” written in scrawly writing with a smiley face next to it on a small whiteboard. You gave Cindy a hug, fixing up her hair and the mascara that had trailed under her eyes, before wishing her luck.

“Pharmacies are open late, so we can grab Plan B” You winked, laughing as you walked down the hallway into the communal area. It was a few couches with a table of water bottles and some empty bowls on it. They must’ve gorged on the snacks before the show or directly after. There was also a large metal container with a label on it; “HOT WATER!!!” and a plastic jug of milk next to it, there was barely any milk left...but just enough for a cup of tea.

You walked over to the table, helping yourself, trying to down some of the water simultaneously to ease your aching throat. You carefully sipped the tea, careful not to scorch your tongue. You placed it back on the table, leaving it to cool, turning around and seeing someone walk in. You were frozen in place as the man looked to you. It was John Deacon, the real bloody John Deacon. You coughed and awkwardly stood yourself up a bit straighter.

“Uhh, if you’re here for Rog...his room’s down there?” He stated, a tone of confusion in his voice, standing just as awkwardly as you were. 

“Is Roger’s girly there!?” You heard someone yell down the hallway, you shook your head frantically and moved your hand over your neck, to say no. “Uh, no, Fred...just a girl, are you lost o- OH! You’re the friend that’s with the girl, ah right, right, well…” He clasped his hands together, the sound of shoes rushing down the hall became louder.

“Hello, love!” Freddie popped around the corner, making his way over, holding his arms out. He looked at you as though he’s known you for years, “I’m Freddie, Freddie Mercury, lovely to meet you!” He introduced. His smile was wide as he hugged you, placing a kiss on each of your cheeks before squeezing you. 

“I hope he’s not been bothering you too long...did you even say hello, John? God, so rude” He tutted, barely even waiting for John to reply.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, dear, I do look dreadful right after a performance” He laughed, you tried to not look like a massive fan, trying to be casual. 

“Th-The show tonight...it was fantastic” You smiled, and smiled wider when he pouted gently, placing a hand on his chest. “You’re too sweet dearie, even after Brian’s slip-up,  hm?” He questioned.

“Will you ever shut up about that!” You heard a yell further down. You laughed, glancing over Freddie’s shoulder to see John still looking at you, but turning away when you both made eye contact. You took the styrofoam cup of tea and took a small sip. Freddie had walked to land himself on the couch, sighing loudly as he placed an arm over his eyes.

“I could sleep for a fucking eternity!” He announced, you were still going crazy inside. You looked to John and saw him trying to be subtle as he looked at you. You really regretted settling for one of your brother’s loose button-up shirts and a pair of old bell bottoms, ‘artistically’ stained with paint.

“John, your um, your performance was amazing, you were really good, I was actually like, directly by you, in the audience, I mean” You stammered, watching his head pipe up at the mention of his name. He laughed quietly, waving his hand dismissively. “Just doing what I do every night” He smiled, his face slightly red. He was probably just really warm.

“Why does my room have to be next to Rogers?! I just wanna change without hearing him shag!” A man yelled as he walked into the room, lanky legs carrying him in. It was Brian May. His hair looked great up close, was all you could think of when you saw him. “Fuckin’ disgusting, Deaky can get the room next to Roger and his birds next time” Brian muttered, barely even registering you were there, but when he did, you saw his face fall. 

“Ah, I am really sorry, I usually don’t burst out like that” He apologised, you heard the other two sniggering. He held his hand out, “Brian” He introduced, firmly shaking it. They all seemed so humble. 

“That bird is my friend, Cindy, she’s a big fan as well, she actually cried at the end of the concert,” You told them, going to sit down on the couch, watching as they awaited more from you. You decided to tell them about yourself for a few minutes.

John had sat next to you and Brian had pushed Freddie to the other end of the couch that he was hogging to himself. Freddie appeared half asleep but still intent on listening to you.

“I’ve been to a few concerts, and a lot of pub gigs, and most of the time, Cindy gets taken to the back, we do have a reputation for making it to the barricade...it’s a bit weird to be in the shadows while she takes the limelight, of course she’s gorgeous and I am so proud to call her my best friend, but yeah...I don’t know where I was going with this” You rubbed your temples, laughing a little to try to conceal the fact that you were a little disappointed or upset. 

“I think you’re gorgeous...and I don’t think you need a guitarist or a singer to validate that” John piped up, your head turning to see him, his hair tossed behind his shoulder. You smiled kindly at him, chuckling a little as your face went red. A small ‘thank you’ passed your lips, trying not to giggle. The room had gone silent and in that, there was a series of noises from the dressing rooms, everyone cringed a little. 

It was a few minutes later, Freddie had passed out, his legs sprawled onto Brian’s lap, who also seemed to have fallen asleep. John and you had just begun to talk, the more you talked, the less awkward it seemed to feel. You had sat on the couch in a way that your body faced John, and he had scooted slightly closer but kept his hands to himself. “How long’s it been?” You chuckled, he looked down at his sleeve. “Only forty minutes...you know, I’ve seen a lot of girls get taken backstage by a particular member at our shows, and I’ve never seen someone else tag along, I’m glad that it fills the silence” He smiled, but as he finished his sentence. His lips opened as though he was about to say something else but as he did, a door was unlocked and down the hall, Roger and Cindy walked out together. 

Her hair was frizzy and her cheeks were flushed, she walked slower than she usually did. Her mascara was all under her eyes and her clothes were dishevelled. His hair was a tangled mess and he had a slight smirk on his face, whispering things to her as they approached the communal area. 

“Need a trip to the pharmacy?” You raised a brow, watching her say ‘ha-ha’ before she came and held her hand out to you, to pick you up off the couch. You let her drag you up onto your feet and saw John suddenly stand up, looking at you. You turned to look at him and he cleared his throat.

“We’re in the area for the next few days...if you’re free?” He asked, his tone going back to that awkward one he had when he first saw you in that room. You smiled at him, “Do you have any paper? I’ll give you my number, in case you do have some free time”.

Cindy and you were escorted out by security, who held the shoulder of Cindy as she seemed a bit...weak. 

“Had fun?” You teased, laughing at her as you both made your way down to the pharmacy, which was still open. “Y/N, I’m never gonna have sex better than that...at least not for a bit” She pulled a piece of tissue paper out of her pocket, with a number scrawled on it in whiteboard marker. You both cheered and laughed, still giddy when you bought some over-the-counter Plan B.

[heyyylittlemo]

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it’s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

[vydante]

ey babe! i jus wanna ask, how’s restart? ya wanna share any plans you have for it for the future? and btw, i love the story and your writing!

Hi hun!

It’s- honestly?

Ch.11 went a whole different route than what I was planning on doing (hell, I’ll even put the TWO whole ass drafts under the read more; warning, it’s SUPER long and I’m never using it so no losses on my part) but I’m happy it went the way it did haha. I finished it in 2 solid days, even if it took me months to update.

Uhh, as for future plans...?

*SPOILERS FOR RESTART? But not really?*

Next two chapters we (SHOULD BE, NO GUARANTEES) are gonna be dealing with CA:TWS... Then, right afterward, we may or may not have a filler chapter, and then we’ll dive into a certain Sokovian base (wink wink). As for AOU... Hm. ;)

AAAH I have so much stuff I wanna tell you guys about :,)

Well, so far that’s what I (canonically) have lined up.

As for other junk: I have 4 specials drafted, 2 What If’s (not canon, but mainly for filler and exploring unused ideas :D) and like, a couple out of place chapters that I wanna slide in the future arcs.

BTW, I have a question to ask: if I had any trashed drafts or whatever, do you guys wanna read it? I’ll post it all in one post (other than Ch.11, I don’t have any other trash right now, but still), probably here.

Anyways. Below cut is the cut draft PT.1 for Ch. 11. WARNING: it might be super incoherent.

Admittedly, Project Renaissance was a huge file.

Of course, it wasn't just all about one particular thing. No, there were files and files that lay underneath it, but even then each one was just as large as the other.

There were ones like 'World Domination', where it was just filled with new projects and products for Stark Industries, like prosthetics (SI really branched into the medical field after your dad made Rhodey his leg braces) and newer editions of tablets, phones, and laptops, too. Hell, even your car and motorbikes blueprints were on there, too- something SI had never dived into up until you had taken over. Improvements in cleaner energy were also there, but that's been the main target for SI for years, so that didn't really count.

Then there were files like 'Supernova' and 'Milky Way', which were a bit more important than others. Project Supernova had to do with Extremis. You wanted to stabilize it as much as possible, then throw it into the darkest corner possible and never have to look back at it; you only wanted it to serve as a... The last resort, of sorts.

Yeah, sure, Tony had a stable version of Extremis locked and loaded, hidden deep into the Tower's database, but it was barely usable. And as for Project Milky Way, it's more or less a Stark Internship program. It'd be really beneficial to high school (and maybe middle school) students, so you suppose...

("More like an excuse to properly recruit that Parker boy," DAHLIA snarks. Brat.)

But what had your constant attention were the big dogs, which, if you remembered correctly, should be happening quite soon.

Files like 'Snakes In The Grass' (S.H.I.E.L.D.-RA), 'Hot Tub Time Machine' (Sargeant Barnes), and 'On Your 6' (Project Insight) all had your attention right now, and for obvious reasons, as you nervously glance at your calendar.

3 more months. 

That was about all the time you had left before the big day was supposed to happen, and you were nowhere near as prepared as you should be. 

Sure, you had lots of contingency and protocols planned out already, but there was only so much you could predict what would happen. 

God, it sucks that you're not 21 yet, because your mind sure is buzzing for some Jäger right about now. You're not an alcoholic by a long shot but... You glanced at a picture of you and your dad.

You sure as hell understood alcoholics, though.

And for that, you needed to get your hands on B.A.R.F. All you need is to remember that one guy's name...

"DAHLIA, pull up the files for, ah... What was his name? Quin... Quincy? No, no... Gw- Quenti- Quentin Bank- Beck? Beck. Quentin Beck- give me his file."

"I was worried you were having a stroke."

"I will if I don't see his file in T-minus 1 second."

You wiped your jittery hands clean of any leftover muck, definitely feeling 5 shots of espresso and 2 hours of intermittent sleep finally taking its toll. You glanced through the files that she had pulled up. There were the basic files: his biography, works, and reports, but those weren't what you were interested in.

"Filter it for anything regarding- uh- B.A.R.F. Like- eh- Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing."

All of the files slimmed up to where it was all organized in one, neat folder. You quickly skimmed through all of it, but it all seemed to be experimental work. For now, anyway.

"Progress on B.A.R.F.?"

"Mr. Beck and his team are currently

There he was, in all of his glory. Though he was immaculately dressed in all black, just as you remembered when you and your dad had to clean up the mess that was the fight on the highway. 

God, he's even bigger in person.

"Identify yourse-!"

As much as you didn't want the room to look like a hospital room, you hadn't exactly had all the time in the world to prepare the room for the man of the hour. 

Still knocked out, 

"Hey, Jon Snow. You 'wake?"

Taking a closer look at him, he looked a lot more worse for wear than you had remembered him being. Then again, the Barnes you saw was completely free of the brainwashing, a-la Princess Shuri and the Wakandan scientists.

(You knew eavesdropping was wrong. It didn't need an explanation as to why.

But despite all that, you made no effort to walk away from listening to the conversation that was going on between your dad and Prin- King T'Challa. It was obvious to you and your dad- along with anyone else with a brain in their skull- that the ex-Avengers (or, at least, Barnes)- was in the nation that was Wakanda. You didn't know how your dad had managed to skirt around that with T'Challa, but you didn't really care.

You just wanted to know what they're gonna do about it.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Dr. Stark? While I know that I, along with Mr. Barnes as well, would appreciate your more than generous offer... I also understand that there is... Tension between the two of you..."

Generous offer?

What the hell is T'Challa going on about? What offer?

"Just... promise me one thing."

"Just... I don't want him to- to try and find me. And if you can't do that- then... Then at least make sure he doesn't get near (Name)."

You bristled.

What?

"(Name)? Your son?"

"Yeah."

"If you could oblige me, may I know your reasoning?"

You strained your ears to the best of your abilities, but even your dad's murmuring was too intelligible for you to make out any words.

"I... I see... If those are your terms, then we will graciously accept the use of your Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing technology for Mr. Barnes's recovery..."

What?)

Your dad was more than happy to not take partial credit for Barne's recovery, so long as it was kept a promise that Barnes stay every little bit away from him (and you, surprisingly enough).

So, it was really unfair that you pitted 2023 Barnes against...

That.

Blank eyes stare directly in front of him, and interestingly enough, he doesn't make an effort to look you in the eye. He's strapped in his chair for extra precautions, but the lingering resignation in his eyes, no matter how blank they are, makes you want to vomit. It makes you sick, knowing that after each mission he's sent out on, he's probably getting strapped back into a goddamn chair and getting his whole hard drive wiped and reconfigured...

You glanced away from him, subtly bringing your hand up to your mouth. You coughed, praying that nothing comes up to your mouth as disgust fills your gut.

"Mission parameters incomplete."

His voice was quiet, for what it was. You weren't sure what you were expecting, but the softness of it was a surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"Mission parameters incomplete."

"Ah, man..."

"Yeah, no, how am I not surprised...?"

"Uh, hm. Hm, hm, hm..."

You pursed your lips.

He visibly perked up- either that, or you're kind of losing it.

"Oh well, that doesn't matter, I can fill the air with my gibberish anyways."

No response. Just a bleary and blank stare.

At least he was looking at you.

You smile.

"That's fine. Either way, as long as I have a say in it, you're not going back to HYDRA. I'll make sure of that, Barnes."

[3milesup]

Hiii! 6 & 15 for the fic ask 🌼

6. Favourite pairing (of food + distraction to procrastinate on writing)?

Food? Hm. I honestly can’t think of a particular one, sorry! Does a cappuccino count? I go out, grab one to go and go for a walk, listening to my playlist for the story and drawing some random scenes, sort of backstories, spin-offs, whatever, in my head. :)

Procrastination? Apart from tumblr? 😅 I love making moodboards for my characters or ships. Gifsets, sometimes. Also, I draw me a timeline when it is a longer fic, and try to figure out what to do with some half-ideas, really short scenes, pieces of dialogues that don’t fit anywhere, and I look for a way to make them blend into one scene that would make sense.

15. How do you feel about angst - in particular, the angst of writing something you actually like and watching it go under the radar?

Uhh... they had me in the first half ngl, I was already thinking of my ambiguous relationship to angsty fics and how I seem to enjoy the suffering of writing them but they are somehow too much to read and delve into, I often just can’t bear it and probably miss out on some awesome stories because of that in this essay i will-

But yeah, the angst of posting. I’ll be honest, I sometimes get literally shaky and there were days I practically couldn’t eat at all after I posted something. It is an odd corellation, where the more I like what I wrote the more anxious I get about it, because it truly feels like putting my deepest self out there - under the radar. I had fics I wasn’t that much invested into, and there were those I liked and still felt confident about sharing, but sometimes it gets overwhelming...

Thank you very much for the ask! ✨

[yggdraunion-moved2]

Anri Hello Charlotte.......

hello charlotte is so complicated... i will just specify which Anri i'm referring to

favorite thing about her

anri cares... she tries so hard all the time and is compassionate even when she has so much going on for her too. also uh i'm always thinking about anri (false realm) hair color symbolism. i just love her a lot in general

least favorite thing about her

hm i wish we got more of her? she's definitely Important and Noteworthy but i get the sense arc resolutions involving her in general could be More. i am probably not explaining this well

favorite line

all of heaven's gate diary... many thoughts head full. also i don't have it on me and it's not really her line per se but that "the princess tried so hard to change her appearance daily but all her people" were blind thing. yeah.

brOTP

charles (obvious answer). for characters she didn't really interact with in canon i wanted to see her interact w Scarlett more. also very fond of that art w her and Felix and i'm interested in how her heaven's gate iteration interacts w Vincent

nOTP

not really a nOTP per say i don't dislike it but i'm not really sold on charlotte/anri in the romantic sense? i think about it often though... in my interpretation charlotte is Like That as a response to charles's self-perceived interpersonal failings so she's someone who would supposedly be a better person for both Anri and Vincent but at the same time it clearly doesn't go that well considering HC2 both in how anri interacted w charlotte and how she treats c which is like. self flagellation on charles point bc he doesn't think anri should like him

this is only somewhat related but a mutual brought up to me how anri calling charlotte "charlie" could be interpretted as anri intentionally misgendering her. i dont read it like that but i am thinking

random headcanon

i stand by my minecraft headcanons post even though i think i was sleep deprived and under the influence of disease when i wrote it. charles got her to play minecraft and she griefs him on a regular basis

uhh also when everyone else at home is asleep she likes to voice chat charles since they both have really weird hours + she walks around sometimes. not outside though just house pacing

unpopular opinion

i have no idea what the popular opinions are... i'm just gonna say that

song I associate her with

my own musical tastes are still a work in progress but i think she would like Kilmaa. in a general sense she definitely has better music taste than Charles and i think she uses headphones a lot... catharsis moments

favorite picture of her

many bc i like etherane arts very much but in particular this one:

i want to say that's her + scarlotte bc image color mixing symbolism but also i just really like fall colors 🍁🍂

there's also these but they make me feel sad and i don't want to dwell on that rn </3

[blog-in-a-corner]

TSOTBL - Morning Haziness

In a few more days Garte would finally arrive to the lodge and everyone would get to come back home, they can handle a few more days at the lodge right?

Lucinda walked into the kitchen, her hair was a mess and she was sloppily dressed. Kim happened to be in the kitchen as well.

“Hey Lucinda are you alright? You look like a bird flew into your hair and you fell face first onto the pavement.” Kim asked, surprised at her friends appearance. “No, I'm not. I haven't been able to get any sleep these past few days.” Lucinda responded, cranky with the lack of sleep. “Why is that?” “I don't know! I keep feeling this weird, static feeling and every night it gets worse! It keeps me up all. Night. Long.” “Geez that sounds awful, do you know what's causing it?” “No! And it's driving me crazy!” Lucinda shouted, slamming her head onto the countertop.” “Hmm that's weird….” Kim muttered. “Not the only weird thing about this whole damn lodge anyway….” “Yeah… I can definitely agree with you on that….” “Anyways, how have you been holding up?” “I've...been fine! I guess….” “Good for you.” “I've been... reading and uh, napping….a lot.” “Irene I wish that were me.” “It's been so horrendously boring around here though, we're almost done cleaning the lodge and there's less and less things to do! With nothing to do I have to be alone with my thoughts, and I hate being alone with my thoughts!” “At least we'll be gone soon, just seven more days…” “Feels....like forever….” Kim trailed off. “Remember, we just have to be patient Kim.” Lucinda assured Kim. “Yeah. I…just...” “Uh Kim, you alright?” “Yeah….yeah-um, it’s nothing! Bye now!” Kim uttered, speed walking out of the kitchen. “Dammit! There she goes acting weird as shit again!” Lucinda slammed her head against the counter once more, in frustration. “I need to find out what's wrong with her and soon!

As Lucinda screamed internally, slouched over the kitchen counter. Aaron walked in to grab something to eat and noticed Lucinda slouched over..

“Uhh...Lucinda are you okay?” Aaron asked awkwardly yet somewhat concerned, looking at Lucinda, poking her shoulder. “No…” Lucinda groaned, picking herself up from the counter. “What happened?” “Everything…” “I see…” Aaron said, setting some water to heat. “Doesn't seem like you got a good night's sleep, you look like if a bird sold their run-down nest to an all too sentimental-bordering-on-hoarding frog.” “Gee, thanks.” “H-Heh um, h-hows Kim doing?” Aaron stuttered, quickly changing the subject. “Nope. She was fine before she left but then she started acting weird again.” “Again? Have you figured out what it is that's wrong with her?” “No, because I haven't been able to focus with everything that's been happening with this stupid lodge!” Lucinda snapped in frustration. “There was the whole boiler thing, and then our cars broke down, and then there's that weird cave full of bad energies LITERALLY behind the wall of the library in this lodge that we STILL haven't figured out how to close up, I can't sleep, and all the food we have is crap! Sorry if I can't detect anything right now!” “Hey calm down! I understand that this whole situation has been stressful, but we have to take a moment to breathe alright?” “I know it's just!....look I'm sorry for snapping at you like that, it's just frustrating not being able to do anything about a situation like this….I’m a prodigy! This shouldn’t be any problem at all..” Lucinda sighed. “It’s fine Lucinda, the situation has been rather...difficult, to say the least.” “Hey, do you happen to know anything about the lodge and it's specifics of being built?” Lucinda asked, hoping Aaron might know something. “Not really, although when we went to that liquor store the other day, the really jolly guy told me that BunnyHill has one of the largest burial sites in the country.” “Really? There being a lot of ghosts would make sense if that's the case, but why would there be so many upset spirits?” “I'm not sure…” “Do you know anything else?” “No, that's all he told me.” “Hmm, maybe we should try asking Zane or Garroth, they know a bit about the lodge. Actually speaking of Garroth, he didn't come down for breakfast this morning.” “Odd. I'll go check on Garroth and try my luck with him to see if he knows anything, he won't snap at me like Zane probably would.” “Alright, thanks.”

Aaron headed over to Garroth's room, he needed to talk to him.

“Garroth? Are you there? I wanted to talk to you about something….” Aaron asked, knocking on Garroth's door.

No answer.

“Garroth?” Aaron tried opening the door but it was locked.”Hm maybe he's somewhere else? But I haven't seen him leave his room…”

Before Aaron could step back to leave Garroth's door flung open. It nearly hit Aaron's face.

“What is it?” Garroth asked somewhat annoyed, his hair was a mess and he looked incredibly tired. “Oh hey! For a second I didn't think you were there, it was so quiet and-” “What is it that you want Aaron?” Garroth cut Aaron off, more annoyed than the first time. “Oh right, I just needed to talk to you, can I come in…?” “Fine, just make it quick.”

Garroth's room was in disarray, the blankets were sloppily piled over the bed and some of Garroth's possessions we're scattered around the room.

“Geez Garroth this place is a mess! We've got to have this place clean before your dad gets here y'know!” Aaron commented, looking around the room in shock. Garroth was usually more organized. “Is that all you wanted to lecture me about? Because I have other things to do.” Garroth asked, tapping his foot impatiently. “What? No, no! I wanted to talk to you about lodge, since you seem to know a lot about it.” Aaron insisted. “Alright, what do you want to know?” “Do you know the specifics of this land? You know the very spot the lodge was built?” “Not really, I know more about the scaling, the worth, foot traffic, and a bit of the history, but not really anything to do with the lodge grounds itself.” Garroth explained. “Hmm I see….” Aaron muttered. “All I can tell you is that this particular spot of land in BunnyHill apparently never grew anything, that's why they chose to a building of its structure here. My father probably knows more about it, seeing as he bought the place n’ all, maybe you can ask him when he gets here!” Garroth advised. “Yeah that's right! Thanks Garroth.” Aaron thanked Garroth, walking towards the exit of the room.”By the way, or you feeling alright? I don't wanna sound rude but you seem a bit uh, off this morning.” “Oh..oh it's nothing I'm just...a bit tired I guess…” Garroth mumbled, looking to the floor. “You look tired, get some more sleep. We're almost done cleaning the lodge anyway time isn't too important right now.” “Yeah...yeah I'll probably get myself some more shut eye right now…” “That's good, take care alright?” “You too.”

Aaron exited Garroth's room and went down the stairs, Kim was standing at the end of them.

“Hey Kim, whats up?”

Kim said nothing, she just stared.

“Uh Kim? Did you hear me?”

Kim shook her head and blinked a couple of times before looking back to Aaron.

“Oh hey Aaron, sorry I think I was spacing out…what did you tell me?” “Oh, I just asked you what's up.” “From this side of the stairs, you apparently.” “Okay, I set myself up for that one, that I'll admit.” “Haha!” Kim laughed. “I swear Garroth's rubbing off on you too much…” “Probably, but it could be worse, I could be body slamming into windows.” “GARROTH DOES THAT?” Aaron asked in complete shock and confusion. “No, you do. Aphmau told me you've done that like, four or five times in the past.” Kim elaborated. “FIRST I'VE ONLY DONE IT THREE TIMES, SECOND I BET SHE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU THE CONTEXT.” “Nope! She didn't give me any context whatsoever.” “Just when I thought I would never have to explain that story to anyone ever again….oh, before I forget, today we all have to touch up the last few rooms in the third floor and I think we should be done with the lodge once and for all.” “Really?” “Yup! We'll all get together in about two hours.” “Alright then!”

The two went off to tell the others.

//Howdy y'all! I'm going to be on a vacation with my family next week and won't be able to post. Regular posting will return June 17th!//

[transienturl]

the first half of the ask post you didn't reblog because you're doing them all anyways

Thanks, me!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?Option 7, None of the above: highball glass. I looked up the glassware model I like; apparently the manufacturer calls them “nordic cooler glasses.” I much prefer glassware made of glass to any other type, and dislike the ridges/patterns on a lot of drinking glasses. Yep, I’m this picky.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?Chocolate. I like chocolate’s texture and the way it melts, and I don’t like eating bits of paper.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?Cotton candy. Bubblegum is gross.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?Uhh… hm. “Smart,” probably, which wasn’t particularly helpful. They probably had a bunch more to say but I don’t remember what anymore.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?I like this ask post! As mentioned, glass cups. I like how soda cans feel in the hand but the drinking experience is just alright. Plastic is just unpleasant.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?I had to google “boho” and I’m still not super clear on what it encompasses, but it seems kinda neat! Also I have no idea what grunge really means. If I had a feminine body and thus felt like dressing up, I’d definitely pick boho out of the google image results of each of those terms.

7. earbuds or headphones?Both; if I wear either for too long I switch to the other for comfort. But I’m at least somewhat an audio enthusiast, so I could go on for a long time here. Ex:

The soundstage of open-back headphones is really unparalleled for one. Apple’s earpods/airpods actually fit me and have basically no microphonics, which usually are a big issue with IEMs for me, plus their resolution on the high end is surprisingly great.

Insert the rest of this discussion here.

8. movies or tv shows?I watch either of these not from seeking them out but from circumstance, but often wind up liking them. I’m one of those people who thinks, “I’d watch that,” and then never watches whatever that was. So I don’t really know which I do or would prefer.

9. favorite smell in the summer?Uh… hm. That’s a really good question. What’s most interesting about it, I think, is just the list of smells people associate with a season. Of course there’s environmental ones like rain, but for summer I assume you have to go with, I dunno, fair food or something like that.

Anyway, no idea! I can’t think of a lot of meaningful smells that aren’t food, honestly.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?I remember enjoying capture the flag a lot. I dunno if I was actually good at it, though. I did have pretty good short-duration speed, so I was a decent defender. I don’t really remember what else we did.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?Nothing. (I don’t like most American breakfast foods much, though that’s not why.)

12. name of your favorite playlist?I called it “the playlist which is entirely fire” because why not. Alternately, the playlist with all of my music is just named after me.

13. lanyard or key ring?Key ring; I’m not a… yeah actually that joke would only work for people who went to my high school and follow this blog (hi Xander).

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?That’s also a really good question and I’m positive I have an answer, but I can’t think of it. I eat candy once every like 3 months, so it doesn’t exactly come to mind easily. The candied pecans I just tried are pretty good, though. Insert reference to my halloween fanfiction.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?Y'know how there are some things that you remember deciding at one point were your favorite, but don’t remember well enough to properly consider now? A lot of my favorite pieces of media are like that, but I have at least some confidence in the decision I made at the time. Not so much here. I remember thinking with surprise that I enjoyed The Mill on the Floss when I read it in class, so that’s what comes to mind, but I think it’s the wrong answer. I’m pretty sure there are some books I really enjoy that I’ve forgotten were originally for class. Random example that I think is also wrong: The Hobbit. The Giver is pretty darn good, too. Fahrenheit 451. I don’t remember this being the case but we might have read A Wrinkle in Time in a class. Et cetera.

Wait, no, actually, I figured it out: Island of the Blue Dolphins. (Which, actually, goes in the “this might be too much of a childrens’ book to enjoy rereading” category along with Summerland, The Great Tree of Avalon, The Marino Mission, What the Moon Saw, The Secret of Platform 13, and Island of the Aunts, all of which I loved at the time of reading. And potentially also The Book Thief, although I doubt it. Can you tell I like award-winning children’s books, though?)

16. most comfortable position to sit in?With crossed legs or on my feet, which people seem to find weird.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?I only have one regularly-used pair of shoes.

18. ideal weather?Still. I can’t stand wind of any kind. A range of temperatures is nice (not too hot; not *too* cold but snow is pretty so I’ll allow a wide range in that direction.)

19. sleeping position?In a ball, or at least partially curled up.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?I haven’t written on paper in like a decade. I had to recently in order to leave a sticky note on something and had actual trouble making it legible. Essentially everything I write is on this 2013 Macbook Pro keyboard.

21. obsession from childhood?Um… existentialism? The pretend world my sisters’ and my stuffed animals lived in? Popular science topics and things from video game worlds, all of which went into said pretend world? Jet aircraft? Algebra and geometry puzzles? Configuring laptop computers?

22. role model?John Green. People who can communicate/present things effectively.

23. strange habits?I’m sure I have a ton. I’m not going to delay posting this to come up with any, but I’ll think about it. But especially if we’re using western society as the ‘norm’ for the sake of the question, I think there’s a ton of stuff I do that’d surprise people.

24. favorite crystal?Hm. I like the colorless ones like diamond, I guess? I just generally like gemstones, especially in fiction when they have powers. Oh, how’s this: I tend to like crystals that are (semi)transparent, so they have depth to them and change appearance as they’re rotated.

The other weird, mostly-unrelated thing that comes to mind is when I made a necklace for my best friend in elementary school and spent a lot of effort picking out the right sort of pendant, but I don’t think it was actually a crystal. (I often wonder what it would’ve been like if I hadn’t moved; I bet we’d still be close.)

25. first song you remember hearing?Neat question! I have no memory of a particular song being the first. My parents played music a lot when I was little, so a lot of their CD collection makes me think, “I’ve been listening to this since far before I noticed that I was.” The most recent one of those I heard and wrote down was Cathedral of the Pines by Tim Janis.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?…complain about the heat? :D Hm, I don’t have a lot of outdoor hobbies.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?…complain about the cold? :P I do like to ski somewhat. And I like hot cocoa.

28. five songs to describe you?

Eric’s Song – Vienna Teng

Doubt – Ruby Day

…hm. Looking through my playlists and the #media tag on this blog, there’s a ton of songs that I like, and where that fact tells you something about my taste in music, but it’s hard to find songs whose content particularly tells you something. Let’s just go with songs I find some meaning or relevance in?

Laughing With – Regina Spektor

Rainbow Connection – Kermit the Frog/various covers

Okay, I ran out of songs with particular meaning; let’s finish up with one whose meaning is arguably a lack of particular meaning?

Both Sides Now – Joni Mitchell

29. best way to bond with you?Talking, I guess. Boring answer, maybe, but I think most bonding experiences I’ve had were just two people talking about something important.

30. places that you find sacred?My elementary school? Is that a weird answer?

Other than that… a lot of places, really. Depending how you use “sacred,” I think it could apply in my mind to lots of unique places, especially natural-wonder type things.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?I haven’t got one. None of my clothes are things I’ve picked out to look good, honestly. The thing that makes me feel more “ready to go out and kick ass than usual” is, like, bringing a phone charger with me in case I run out of battery in the process of whatever ass kicking it’s going to be, and that’s not an outfit thing.

32. top five favorite vines?Remember vine? Good times.

1. A Legendary Argument (https://vine.co/v/enUmZjLFgw2/); the “just do it” “no” one

Yeah, that’s it. I don’t know of any other ones.

33. most used phrase in your phone?I… don’t know how to tell. That sounds like a cool thing to figure out but I dunno how to see that.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?None, thank god.

35. average time you fall asleep?Too late.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?No idea.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?I don’t really know what context to think of this question in. Like, is there a time both would be valid options? Anyway, suitcase. Honorable mention: backpack.

38. lemonade or tea?I only like either of these in moderation. Usually I’d say lemonade, but lately I’ve been disliking acidic drinks more than usual, so maybe I’ll say tea. Actually, what I like is chrysanthemum tea, which you can get at dim sum places sometimes.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?I’ll go with lemon cake. I can only eat a really small amount of lemon meringue. If someone made more of a lemon meringue tart with a really thin layer of lemon (maybe 10mm or a bit less) and a lot of crust and meringue, that could be really good though.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?If “bad” counts as “weird,” let’s just say it involved sexual misconduct.

41. last person you texted?My dad (a link to instructions to get free in-flight wifi; nothing interesting).

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?I prefer to put stuff in pants pockets so I have them if I take off my jacket, but then my pants fall down because I have no hips and my pants are all regular-person sized.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?I immediately crossed off everything except hoodie and cardigan. With a different body I’d definitely pick cardigan.

44. favorite scent for soap?Unscented.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?Eh, I mean, I think they all have potential. I’d pick sci-fi or fantasy over superhero; print comics have never interested me at all, though I’m sure there’s interesting stuff in there too.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?I feel like it’s just whatever you’re used to, honestly.

47. favorite type of cheese?Maybe fresh mozzarella? Either way, it’s going to be something people who really like cheese would barely count as cheese.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?If I were a fruit… not to take it too literally, but I can’t think of a better way to interpret it. Um… a ground cherry, because it’s cute and has a place to hide in.

49. what saying or quote do you live by?“Hope is the correct response to the human condition.”

There are probably better ones that correspond to things I live by more, but that’s the one I have a quote for. Guess who it’s by? I’ll give you one guess.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?Not sure. Show of the Weekend (@outsidextra) definitely wins “hardest laugh that I can remember recently” though.