#this rant was a long time coming

[cjbolan]

How I Would Rewrite Emily Windsnap and the Siren's Secret

Inspired by @aquaheartgirl and @deepestphotoshopwonderwomanpaper 's E.W. rewrites. I have a love-hate relationship with this book. Re-reading it years later, and knowing it might get adapted into a movie, I can think of a million ways it could be better. My biggest issue is all its inconsistencies with the previous books, so for each issue I proposed several solutions...

*WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD*

The Sirens made the story way too unfocused. They are the title characters and should've gotten way more focus. They should have been introduced much earlier in the story. The first half of this book kept switching conflicts and adding subplot upon subplot, and the Sirens don't come in until Chapter 9. Up to that point they are briefly mentioned here and there, but the Sirens really should have been the main focus. This story had so many conflicts happening at the same time, I really don't know what the main conflict is. My proposed solutions are...

A) Have all the Sirens appear in the prologue instead of just one. That way their appearance in Chapter 9 doesn't feel completely out of nowhere.

B) Have the Sirens actually try to help Emily save Shiprock while she's trying to rescue them at the same time. Maybe they could each have different solutions and differing opinions about humans. The moment the Sirens arrived, I feel like we suddenly started a completely different story. It's quite jarring.

C) Have Emily's parents be extremely worried about her disappearance when she comes back from saving them. That would make the story much more coherent. The Sirens subplot and "unite two worlds" subplot would better fit together. Mary especially would notice Emily is missing longer than usual (she doesn't do much in this story), she'd panic, maybe even start regretting how harsh she'd been with Emily (more on that later).

2. The Windsnaps being homesick for Brightport then being sent on a mission there feels like a contrived coincidence. Again this contradicts the Book 3 ending of Neptune giving the Windsnaps freedom to go where they please. My proposed solutions are either...

A) Have the Windsnaps decide to move back to Brightport themselves (seriously what is stopping them?). Then Neptune gets word that they're in Brightport and gives them his mission.

B) The Windsnaps instead are just on vacation to Brightport. Being on vacation means there's no reason for that pointless retconning of Emily's school situation. In this scenario, Emily would sneak into Shiprock School to see Shona because Shona is too busy to come see her. So you could still have that whole scene where Emily is kicked out for being half human. By the end of the story, with everyone getting along and realizing how much they are missed in Brightport, the Windsnaps would decide to stay in Brightport.

C) Mr. Beeston enlists the Windsnaps' help instead of Archie and Neptune. It would demonstrate his fragile friendship with Emily's parents and effort to make amends with them. It would also be in character with Emily and Jake's rule-breaking tendencies, by doing something they weren't assigned to do. It could even demonstrate Mary's kindness and proactiveness, by going out of her way to help hundreds of innocent people when she didn't need to. Even if that means having to work with an old enemy.

3. This book completely undoes the ending of the previous books. Book 3 ended with Emily's parents declaring they'll travel wherever they please and started actively planning a balanced human-mermaid school curriculum for Emily. But in Book 4 they’re completely back to where they started. Back to staying in Allpoints Island, Emily's back in mermaid school school only, Mary's back to being miserable on Allpoints Island, Jake is back to wanting only mermaid school, Mary is back to wanting only human school. For some reason this book brings back a bunch of conflicts that were solved earlier and should've stayed solved. My proposed solutions...

A) Have it open with the Windsnaps actually sailing all the seas...you know, like they said they would! They're so focused on spending quality time as a family that they're not even thinking about school, so nothing they do is actually contradicting everything. This would be a prime moment for Mary and Jake to repair their relationship, Mary could be momentarily happy with the family's newfound freedom granted by King Neptune, and then later realizes she misses Brightport so the Windsnaps decide to go home and that's where the story picks up.

B) Have it open with the Windsnaps coming back to Allpoints Island from a long vacation across the seas.

C) Have it open with the Windsnaps back at Allpoints Island actually planning a vacation.

D) Have it open with Emily's parents still discussing and trying to figure out Emily's school situation.

E) Have it open with Emily actually being homeschooled. Maybe homeschooling doesn't work for Emily or maybe her parents become too busy with Neptune's mission to homeschool, which could justify them wanting to send her to either Brightport High or Shiprock High.

F) Have Emily in Chapter 3 fight with Jake instead of Mary. Imagine Jake saying he wants Emily in Brightport school instead of Shiprock school. No doubt it'd be a hard choice for him to make. But it's consistent with his Book 3 arc of deciding to balance her human life and mermaid life, and trying to be a stricter parent, and trying to listen to his wife. Especially if his wife is there watching him and he's trying to show he can be a firm parent when needed. Book 2 showed Jake being stern/firm with Emily several times, and losing his temper near the end, so them fighting wouldn't be that out of character. Neither of them would want Brightport High, but only Jake is mature enough to understand it might be best for Emily. And when Emily rants about her being bullied and shunned in Brightport school, it makes more sense for Jake to be dumbfounded because he was gone for most of Emily's life. Because I REFUSE to believe Mary would be dumbfounded at learning this. This woman, who could always tell when something's bothering Emily...wouldn't know her daughter is being bullied at school?! And by her daughter's former best friend, whom Mary often saw and would surely have noticed Emily and her ex-friend not hanging out anymore?! Also the "we're your parents" line feels super out of character for Mary, who was always able to establish her authority without ever having to pull the "I"M YOUR MOTHER/PARENT" card. That's the kind of parenting mistake a new parent like Jake would make. Honestly everything Mary says during that argument is more in character for Jake.

I don't normally rewrite stories, but since this rewrite is just changing and adding some words, here's what I would have written. Swap out Mary for Jake, add Mr. Beeston (Beeston is Jake's only real friend and I think the only person Jake would say all this to), and you have the following:

"'Well, Mary wants her to go to Brightport High of course. Normally I think she should go to Shiprock School, but for once I agree with Mary.' Dad was pouring cups of tea for himself, Mr. Beeston, and Aaron's mom..."

"'Of course you'll have some say," Dad replied a bit sharply. "But we're the ones who will have to make the final decision.'

'Why?" I asked. I bet Mom made him say all this.

'Because we're your parents!' Dad snapped. Maybe I was embarrassing him by arguing with him in front of everyone, but I didn't care...'

"Dad looked at me. 'We'll have to see what your mom says first.' I sighed in relief. I can't believe Dad just said I should go to Brightport High..."

4. Emily kind of forgot the Rainbow Rocks can restore people’s memories. Instead she went through so many complicated loopholes to restore her grandparents' memories and reunite with them. My proposed solutions when she learns they got their memories wiped...

A) Have Emily bring her grandparents to Rainbow Rocks. After the failed first attempt to reunite them with Mary, this would've been a much quicker solution and they wouldn't have to walk on eggshells around Mary. I think the moment the grandparents regained their memories, they'd immediately go to Mary and reconcile with her without Emily having to arrange this whole elaborate meeting for them.

B) Have Emily TRY bringing her grandparents to Rainbow Rocks, but a bigger problem stops her. In the books all it took to stop her was just seeing her picture in the newspaper. Are you fucking kidding me, Emily?! You've been in far worse situations than this and just a photo is gonna stop you from saving everyone? Maybe Rainbow Rocks gets destroyed. Maybe Mary P. overhears Emily discussing plans to bring the grandparents back and stops her because she's still mad at the grandparents. Maybe Mary P. overhears Emily's plans and, realizing she's been way too proud and stubborn just as Emily said, decides to contact the grandparents herself. Maybe Emily is about to bring them to Rainbow Rocks but gets sucked in by that whirlpool to where the lost Sirens are.

5. Jake turned into a cowardly Henpecked Husband. Jake seems strangely afraid of his wife. Which is pretty out of character for him. Up to this point they were always very direct with each other. Here he's suddenly a spineless doormat to Mary letting her harshly berate both him and Emily. When Mary very firmly lectures Emily for wanting to contact the grandparents, I would’ve liked to see him intervene in some way. But nope. Instead he just keeps his mouth shut until after the ordeal has blown over , and quietly mumbles to Emily : “You know what your mom is like…”. I REALLY lost all respect for him in that moment. Like he’s Emily’s scared little brother instead of her dad.

This guy who…

unapologetically tells his wife exactly when she’s being unreasonable,

bravely defied Neptune’s laws for a long time,

angrily grabbed and screamed at Neptune’s enforcers,

screamed demands at King Neptune in a fit of both rage and grief.

…is suddenly too scared to stop a family squabble inside his own house. Also in Chapter 4 he's WAAAY too calm/indecisive. Jake suddenly lost his protective parental instincts here. Hard to believe the guy who viciously assaulted Beeston to save Emily and snapped at Mary for disliking Emily’s mermaid school, would be that calm when Emily’s being bullied BY A TEACHER. I get Jake not wanting to confront the school because he always tries to avoid conflict, but…the fact he didn’t have any other ideas just pissed me off. Even a bad idea would be better than no idea, because it would’ve shown he ultimately cares for Emily. Jake SAYS he won't let Shiprock make an example of Emily, but his delivery is way too calm and makes his words seem false. Even worse Jake's inaction leads to positive outcomes. I think this sends a terrible message to kids that it's OK to let your romantic partner treat you like crap. My proposed solutions are...

A) Have some chapters written from Jake's POV. Like how Book 2 was from both Emily and Mandy's POVs. If we can go into his inner mind, we can better understand why he's acting so out of character.

B) When he sees Mary tell off Emily, he backs up Mary by telling Emily “listen to your mom/your mom is right”.

C) OR when he sees Mary tell off Emily, he interrupts Mary telling her to go calm down and let him talk to Emily.

D) Have Jake be completely absent during Mary and Emily's fight in Chapter 5. Because why would Jake seriously just back and watch his daughter keep antagonizing his wife by bringing up painful memories?? He should've been trying to stop Emily when she kept pushing the subject. And Jake KNOWS that HE'S the reason Mary's parents cut her off, he really should've expressed some opinion about those parents!! You could easily write him out of that scene and have him be busy working with Mr. Beeston.

E) Have Jake act/sound much more angry when Mary berates him during Chapter 4.. It would show how much Jake fiercely cares for his daughter's well-being and normally would raise hell, but is also frustrated at the supposed restrictions of his new job. At this point Mary really doesn't deserve his patience. Here's how I would rewritten his response:

"'Look, I understand what you are saying,' Dad said, trying and utterly failing to stay calm. "But we're going to have to tread carefully. I'm NOT going to sit doing nothing while Shiprock makes an example of Emily...I'll do something. But I want to make sure that whatever we do, it's the right thing! IF WE GO CHARGING IN THERE SHOUTING OUR GILLS OFF NOW, HOW'S THAT GOING TO HELP OUR CAUSE?!" Mom turned away. Dad took a deep breath and tried again..."

6. Mary P. became a bitch. I HATE her in the 4th Emily Windsnap book . I used to admire her stubbornness and perseverance. But here it’s made her really bitchy to everyone: her daughter, her husband, her daughter’s school(though that’s completely justified), her friend, basically everyone she cares about, for all sorts of reasons. Literally all the characters walk on eggshells around her, because she’s that difficult to reason and be honest with. And seeing how much Mary’s parents actually missed her, her going no-contact seems like a big overreaction…

I think to justify her refusal , we’d need to SEE Mary’s parents being awful to her — without Mr. Beeston’s intervention— and not just hear about it . Like how we saw Mandy’s parents being awful, to better understand Mandy’s awful attitude. Even worse Mary never learns or grows from her stubbornness. There’s no moment where she decides to change her behavior, no moment where she realizes she made a mistake. Everyone else seems to learn from their mistakes , except her.

In fact, Mary is rewarded for her stubborn attitude! By forcing Emily and friends to bring Mary’s parents to her.

Even after she’s told contacting her parents could save Shiprock, she STILL won’t do it. She’d rather let that entire town get blown to smithereens. She essentially said “LET THEM DIE 🧨 🧜‍♂️🧜‍♀️ 💀 ☠️ “

I get why she cut contact, but seriously Mary? You’ll let innocent people die just to avoid your parents? Damn gurl that’s cold. Also kinda weird we don’t see Mary apologize later for her stubbornness. That felt out-of-character to me. Yes she’s stubborn, but never too stubborn to apologize. Until now. And like the complete bitch she is, Mary P. is only nice to Emily after immediately getting something she wants (her old job,returning to Brightport, reconciling with her estranged parents).

I think another reason this angers me so much is , after reading the book… let’s just say I had some Book 4 Mary Penelopes in my life. People who are absolute saints to strangers, yet horrible to the people closest to them, and who conveniently bring up their personal drama as an excuse for their bad behavior, instead of just admitting they were wrong. So I guess rereading it years later brought back all those unpleasant memories. Even after Mystic Millie eventually calls her out, there’s no visible sign of Mary showing remorse or realizing her mistakes.

Yet somehow she forgives Mr. Beeston for doing far worse to her than what her parents did.

Oh and unlike the other characters, she did absolutely nothing to save Shiprock. Except hold hands in a group for a few seconds. I swear everything in this book was resolved by just holding hands 😆.

Also she’s a lot more gullible than ever. Somehow she believes all of Emily’s lies, and not once does she ever suspect Emily is hiding something. Again unlike the previous books. Where she’s still gullible, but not stupid. Earlier she often realized something was off about Emily, and would come pretty close to discovering the truth.

Worst of all is her interactions with her daughter Emily. She’s just suddenly much more impatient and snappy with her than usual. Mary P., this woman who…

hugged and comforted Emily when caught stealing their houseboat and driving it through dangerous waters, without ever acting angry.

comforted and gently assured Emily “I understand” when caught forging Mary P.’s signature to skip swim lessons at school.

calmly and gently asks Emily what’s going on, right after Emily angrily yelled at her out of nowhere and accused her of keeping secrets about her dad.

would always try reasoning with her daughter first for at least several pages, only getting firm with her as an absolute last resort.

would always calm down to reassure and be gentler with Emily , IMMEDIATELY after the few times she was firm with her.

…is now snapping at Emily for interrupting a conversation and for bringing up uncomfortable topics.

All this makes her both a nuisance and possible threat to Shiprock.

If Liz Kessler wants me to hate Mary P. Windsnap, congratulations she succeeded.

My proposed solutions are...

A) Add some scenes of Mary P. apologizing and admitting her mistakes to the people she was mean to (mainly Jake and Emily). One of my favorite things about Mary P. was that she always owned her mistakes.

B) Write some scenes from Mary P.'s POV. That way we could understand why she's acting so out-of-character. Even if she never says sorry, we could see her clearly feeling sorry via some internal monologue.

C) Have a subplot of Mary P. trying to find and apologize to Emily. Kinda like The Little Mermaid 2 when after their first fight, Ariel feels really guilty and goes searching for Melody so she can make amends with her.

D) Have Mary P. tell Emily all about her grandpa, instead of Mr. Beeston telling her. There was a good scene of Mary about to answer all of Emily's questions about her grandparents, until Mr. Beeston arrives and she tells everything to him instead. I think if Mary was the one telling Emily about her grandparents, it would show more of her positive traits as a patient mother with open communication skills, and it could be Mary's way of making peace with Emily after their tense conversation in Chapter 5.

E) During Chapter 5, have Mary finally snap at Millie instead of Emily. Mary has shut Emily down before. But this was WAY harsher than she normally does it, without even consoling or comforting Emily afterwards like in previous books. Also it was Millie who brought up and kept pushing the subject (contacting estranged parents)...so shouldn't Mary be mad at Millie instead of Emily? Emily only pitched in because of Millie. Here's how I would've rewritten the scene:

"'No buts,' Mom said firmly. Then she turned to face Millie. 'I'm not putting myself through that again. It took me long enough to over what they did. I don't intend to give them the chance to do it all over again. Subject closed. Now let's have some breakfast.' And with that she got some bread out of the cupboard and started to slice it. I opened my mouth to say something else, but Dad shook his head at me.

'Best leave it,' Millie said softly. 'You know what your mom's like when she's made up her mind.'"

(I think that mean-spirited "You know what your mom's like..." comment sounds way more in-character coming from Millie rather than Jake. Millie was always very blunt.)

F) Have JAKE say the angry “No buts…” to Emily instead. Imagine the dramatic potential of Jake, in a misguided effort to help his wife, lose his temper at their child, immediately regret it, and then try comforting his child with his much gentler “Best leave it…” line.

7. Mary P. kind of forgot she can scuba dive. Seriously her scuba diving skills would've helped avoid a lot of conflict. My proposed solutions...

A) Have Mary P. scuba dive to Shiprock School. She could've just dove to Shiprock School herself to give them a piece of her mind, instead of bitching at Jake to do it for her. Maybe Mary and Jake would argue not because of Jake's inaction, but because Mary went ahead and confronted Shiprock School without him. Jake is a guy who tries to avoid conflict, so he would be upset at Mary causing a huge confrontation.

B) Have Mary P. scuba dive with Jake and the other merfolk. She could've gone with Jake to meet with various merfolk and they would've found solutions much more quickly. It'd be a great chance for Mary to show how much she really loves and supports Jake, and care about Neptune's mission to unite the 2 worlds. Also it'd be a great test for the merfolk to see how well they can really get along with humans, when they meet one face to face. Because in this book only Jake is doing most of the hard work and giving any support for Mary.

C) Have Mary P. scuba dive searching for Emily. Remember when I suggested Mary having a subplot of searching for Emily? What if after not seeing Emily for a while, she realizes Emily is out somewhere at sea and decides to scuba dive to find her? Then in the end Emily and Mary could reunite at sea, with Emily seeing her mom in full scuba gear then realizing how much Mary goes through to keep Emily safe? It would be a great way for Emily and Mary to reconcile.

8. Too many subplots. The subplots about the mermaid hunt, Millie initially staying behind in Allpoints, didn't add much to the plot IMO. My proposed solutions...

A) Cut these subplots out entirely.

B) Have Millie still try helping the Windsnaps even from Allpoints Island. She could've easily borrowed a shellphone.

C) Have the mermaid hunt be for JAKE OR SHONA, instead of Emily. That way Emily has no excuse to completely abandon her mission and run away from Brightport. Imagine Emily's horror at seeing Jake or Shona's picture in a newspaper article placing a bounty on their heads for their capture. She'd have to swallow her own fears of exposure, to save someone she loves from a similar fate. Seeing a bounty on her loved one's head should make Emily even more determined to unite the two worlds.

9. Jake sabotages Emily's speech in the end. I do love Jake's big speech to Brightport, I just don't like that he interrupted Emily to give it. Especially since Emily was supposed to give that speech. This is yet another BIG retcon, completely undoing Jake's Book 2 arc of learning not to treat Emily like a baby. I know old habits die hard, but then shouldn't Jake give Emily room to talk after he interrupts her? He doesn't just interrupt his daughter, he completely takes over her speech and ruins her moment to shine. It reminded me of Kanye interrupting Taylor Swift. Here are my proposed rewrites...

A) Have it be planned for Jake to give the speech instead. That way he can have his moment without ruining his daughter's. MAYBE Mr. Beeston tries to find Jake but Jake is running late, so he makes Emily fill in and stall for time until Jake shows up.

B) Have Jake and Emily take turns giving the speech together.

C) Have Jake secretly help Emily give the entire speech herself. Like how Elinor helped with Merida's speech in Brave.

That's all I got for now. If you have any other ideas, disagreements, etc. feel free to share.

[sharkylad]

Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.

Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?

Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.

The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.

Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.

It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.

I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.

He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.

[anewp0tat0]

i lied i had like atleast one more weston thought to expell from my brain, before i miss this boat entirely. we're heading to green lands woooo

[fatedroses]

And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.

[fantastic-nonsense]

I wouldn't mind the heavy focus on warrior Amazons so much if they were allowed to be competent instead of just being used as red shirt cannon fodder. But it seems DC only hypes up the Amazons as deadly fighters so other characters can look more impressive when they take them down.

Oh and Happy New Year.

Happy New Year! Forgive me if I use your ask to talk about a piece of the Wonder Woman mythos I've wanted to discuss for some time, because your complaints offered me the perfect segue to write a nice, in-depth meta on it and I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Honestly, I think a lot of people (both creatives and readers) either don't know, forget, or fundamentally misunderstand the nature of the Amazons' warrior status. So they often get reduced to "deadly warriors who strike first," "supposedly deadly but generally incompetent warriors when outside of their own books," or "militant man-haters" by a lot of people. None of which are true.

The Amazons are incredibly competent warriors and have been since Marston's first portrayal of them in the 1940s, so I don't inherently mind them being shown as such. However, where people get bogged down is insisting that they be shown as deadly and trigger-happy offensive fighters who are happy to strike first and hard, which fundamentally goes against the philosophy and thematic messaging built into Amazonian lore.

DC's Amazonia, lore-wise, is traditionally framed as an Aphrodite vs. Ares "peace and love vs. violence and war" story. In Marston's original rendition of the Amazon's backstory Aphrodite is not only their patron goddess but also their sole creator; it was only after Crisis on Infinite Earths and George Perez's long-overdue lore expansions that the rest of the goddesses became co-creators and co-patrons of the Amazons. Regardless, Ares and his domain are consistently invoked as what the Amazons don't want to be like or engage in. That behavior is the antithesis of what Amazons are supposed to be. This lore informs literally everything about how the Amazons view both their combat abilities and their duty to the goddesses.

The contemporary Amazons are, for the most part, women who died in terrible and traumatic ways at the hands of men (usually through domestic violence, murder, or as conquests of war). When the goddesses created the Amazons by reincarnating these women via the Well of Souls, they specifically charged them to become their champions. And what did these goddesses want? They explicitly wanted justice and protection for women in a violently patriarchial world. The Amazons being warriors is thus specifically tied to an understanding of necessary self-defense and protection (both of themselves and other women), not offense.

Which of course is what lands the Amazons on Themyscira in the first place: invoking the goddesses' ire by not obeying these commands after their rebellion against their enslavement by Heracles and his men crosses the line from the necessary battle to achieve their liberation into wanton violence and revenge:

"The battered Hippolyta prayed to her goddesses and found the courage and inspiration to free herself. Athena had reminded Hippolyta of the Amazons' purpose and mission—but not all of the Amazons remembered. Or cared. They yearned for vengeance. For retribution against those who violated them...and under Antiope, many found it." -Wonder Woman: Our Worlds at War (2001)

And as Hippolyta and Menalippe tell Antiope:

"No, Antiope. Never vengeance; never again!" /// "That is Ares' way, Antiope. We achieve no glory by embracing the Dark God's power!" -Wonder Woman (1987) #1

The Amazon way is promoting a society based on love, equality, truth, and peaceful conflict resolution, not vengeance and violent combat. It's a philosophy that defines Diana's mission in Man's World as an ambassador, teacher, and living example of her peoples' way of life:

Enraptured, they listen to her dissertation on equality between the sexes, tolerance, peaceful coexistence. Social Philosophy 101, Amazon Style. -Wonder Woman (1987) #170

Diana's gods-given mission was to spread the Amazonian ideals of conciliation—to give those living in the World of Man the proper tools to peacefully coexist with each other. It was her life's purpose to teach the possibilities of respect and love by being a living example of an upbringing founded in those ideals.

Truth-seeking, diplomacy, and peace are the Amazonian way of dealing with conflict, not violence. And when you are forced to engage in combat (and you should be prepared for that eventuality because sometimes it will happen), your goal should be self-defense and de-escalation, not offense and prolonging the conflict longer than necessary.

This is also, as an aside, why Diana (and specifically Diana in her capacity as Wonder Woman) does not usually carry offensive weapons like a sword and why her primary "weapons" are the Lasso of Truth and protective bracelets. She's the official representative of her peoples' culture and personally deeply believes in that cultural philosophy. Other Amazons have different views on the matter, including her mother, but Diana grew up completely separated from the World of Man and fully immersed in that belief system, which deeply informs how she views her mission as Wonder Woman.

Personally, I think many (but not all) of the problems re: depicting the Amazons in the modern era come from various writers attempting to solve contradictions that don't exist. They see "kickass trained warriors living peacefully on an island" and see that as a contradiction they have to solve: why do they train if they're pacifists? Why do they fight if they're peaceful? In reality, it's not a contradiction: their status as warriors and champions is specifically tied to self-defense and protection (both of themselves and others), but given the choice they don't want to have to take up arms to protect people because that goes against their fundamental cultural philosophy. Outsiders and meddlesome gods are the ones who force them to do that! What they want is for everyone to be treated with love, respect, and understanding so they don't have to!

And there's a lot of problematic elements built into the concept's execution, but this is the core thesis behind the split between Hippolyta's Themyscirans and Antiope's Bana-Mighdall. The Themysciran Amazons have had their fill of violence and war; they just want to live in peace. But a) they were specifically tasked with guarding Doom's Doorway when they were taken to the island, a duty which necessitates perfect combat readiness, and b) their history is littered with examples of people refusing to leave them alone. So they train, in case someone decides to take shots at them, but otherwise live in peaceful isolation. Meanwhile, the Banas looked at that same shared history and went "we need to take the fight to the outside world. Offense is the best defense, and the only way to protect ourselves and the other women of the world is to actively seek vengeance for the violence women face." So they chose to actively intervene in Man's World, fighting constant battles and exacting revenge for any women mistreated at the hands of men.

...which is also why Artemis was such a necessary and interesting addition to the Wonder Woman mythos (even if she's often handled...poorly), because she and Diana represent two diametrically opposed views of how to protect and represent both their cultures and the women of Man's World, but that's a rant for a different time.

Anyway, the Themysciran Amazons' martial pacifism as a cultural value isn't a contradiction; it's one way of looking at a history filled with violence and victimization and saying "no more." And it's a pretty subversive way of doing so, which (well-written) comics tend to note!

So yes, the "Amazons are warriors" mentality has always been there and has been solidly emphasized at various points throughout Wonder Woman's history, and it should be acknowledged and shown that they're all incredibly competent in battle when they're forced to engage in it. But the way in which it gets emphasized is what defines whether a writer has a solid understanding of the history and baggage that comes with depicting the Amazonian struggle and the socio-political issues embedded in their lore. And unfortunately...many writers just don't seem to get it.

[rogloptimist]

LAKE MISSOULA x JONAS VINGEGAARD

credits under cut!

lake missoula - richy mitch and the coal miners // jonas vingegaard - team presentation, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard, tadej pogacar, and remco evenepoel - podium ceremony, tour de france 2024 (belga images) // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // wayward son - rainbow rowell // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 // it's down to legs - caley fretz // jonas vingegaard - stage 20, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // a poem on hope - wendell berry // jonas vingegaard and remco evenepoel - stage 19, tour de france 2024 // quora user shulamit widawsky // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 (getty images) // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 post-race interview (flobikes) // 'now the fight is over': jonas vingegaard concedes tour de france battle for yellow, but still aims for second - adam becket // jonas vingegaard - stage 19, tour de france 2024 post-race interview (flobikes) // video: jonas vingegaard and matteo jorgenson consoled after heart-breaking end to stage 19 of 2024 tour de france for team visma | lease a bike - kieran wood // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // 'probably the hardest moment of my career'-- jonas vingegaard on his crash and fight to be ready for the tour de france - stephen farrand // jonas vingegaard's tour de france was a venn diagram - iain treloar // rise up and salute the sun: the writings of suzy kassem - suzy kassem // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2023 // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // vingegaard exhausted after tour de france: may cut season short - sjoerd valkering // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - stage 20, tour de france 2024 (belga images) // the thing is - ellen bass // "if you had told me four months ago that i would be second, i wouldn't have believed you" - jonas vingegaard disappointed but proud of his tour de france - ondrej zhasil // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - stage 11, tour de france 2024 post-race interview (nbc sports) // alfred lord tennyson // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // remco evenepoel and jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - tour de france 2024 // matteo jorgenson and jonas vingegaard - stage 19, tour de france 2024 // matteo jorgenson and jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - podium ceremony, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard and wout van aert - tour de france 2024 (team visma | lease a bike)

[wonder-worker]

Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.

[counting-stars-gayly]

They’re not going to rebuild Castle Byers because Will can’t rebuild his childhood, which is the reason he destroyed Castle Byers in the first place. He’d been trying to hold on to a level of carefree ignorance that no longer existed for him. The problems Castle Byers saved him from have been replaced by new problems that are bigger and stronger than a child’s fort. He needs to face them differently. Thank you and goodnight

[autisticlancemcclain]

Could you explain your position on Shallura? Since Allura was established as a teenager when she started dating Lance and Shiro was very clearly an adult. I can understand the bi shiro headcannon but the shallura thing worries me

i am going to remind yall that i have been in this fandom since 2016. and in the early seasons, allura was not established as a teenager. in fact she was coded as older, as closer to shiro's age -- there was a specific divide between her and the younger paladins that she did not have with shiro. they made her younger (both explicitly and in mannerisms) as the show went on. and i do not give a fuck about voltron like...post s4 and i didn't even watch s7-8. so like. especially with older fics, im going to enjoy shallura.

[snikt111]

hi hi hi hi I found out about Hal Jordan TODAY and am going so autistic over him it’s insane can you please give me a rundown on what his deal is I think you’re the Tumblr Green Lantern guy

omg hi, insane compliment btw, tysm! i'm glad to give you a rundown!! also definitely check out @katmaatui for more hal info, red is SUPER knowledgable abt him. @rillette, @catboyollie, @halcarols, @starsapphire and @yellowcorps (along with so many others that i cant think to tag off the top of my head) have some great hal takes too! (edited the post just to tag more ppl)

apologies if this is a bit rushed/messy, i'm doing this while i smelt stone in minecraft LMAO

that being said... i think this will be a long one, so more below the cut :3

(cw for light mentions of pedophilia, abuse, canon typical violence)

okay, so hal jordan is the first human green lantern of the GREEN LANTERN CORPS. it's important to note that there was technically a human green lantern before him (alan scott, originally from earth two/the justice society, but integrated into main DC canon after crisis), but his power comes from a different source- which is a whole different ballpark that would take ages to explain, lol, so i'll move on from that.

hal was originally introduced in a showcase issue in 1959, but ended up getting a solo run in the mid 60s because of his showcase issues doing well. he's been a test pilot, middle brother, compassionate, rule follower (although being surprisingly liberal for the time) with an interesting relationship with star sapphire carol ferris since those first appearances. for the first 20 odd years of his appearances we had no information on his parents, but we got a lot from other family members, such as uncle titus, cousin hal jr (aka airwave), younger brother jim jordan and older brother jack jordan. through the 60s and 70s those members of his family were developed along with him; with the audience learning that jim's wife sue thought jim was green lantern, rather than hal, and hal himself training his cousin, hal jr.

the most known version of how hal got the ring in the first place is probably based off of geoff john's rewrite in the mid 00s, reiterating the original story of abin sur crashing onto earth and dying, leaving hal with his ring to be trained by sinestro and the rest of the glc, while also changing miniscule details that had been developed in emerald dawn 1 & 2 (which was released in the 90s, more on that later). the main premise of abin sur's crash has stayed the same, but the story around hal's current life, job, family and stability keep changing. for instance, the original comic with abin sur in showcase only showed hal getting the ring, the guardians choosing him. the first rewrite i can think of was emerald dawn volume 1, published in 1989 and continued in emerald dawn v2 (1991). here we get the classic hal watches his father die in a plane crash with carol ferris beside him as a pre adolescent, and some of the biggest implications of the mistreatment from his father. we also get introduced to hal, despite his stick to the rules, straight edge attitude, making some serious mistakes and putting people in danger and even death- with the implication of alcohol abuse. the audience HAS known hal used to be in the air force since sometime in the late 60s or early 70s (sorry, i don't remember the exact issue!), but emerald dawn shows us that hal's moved on from the air force and into test piloting, and that his mother keeps having to bail him out for making mistakes. emerald dawn vol 1 shows the abin sur moment, followed by fights that cost hal's friends life, and is followed up by sinestro training hal in emerald dawn vol 2, where we get to see the iconic scenes of hal finding out about sinestro and his... dictatorship.

along with that; how the guardians and rings are treated and hal and the glc's perception of them is vastly changed over time. in the early days of gl in the 60s, the guardians were really never to be seen. hal was repeatedly summoned to them and then had his memory almost fully wiped- only leaving a vague notion of his orders. the guardian's called hal to them at seemingly the worst times, ending up with him almost getting injured, getting in trouble at work, and even ending up jobless and homeless. the chaos of being a green lantern has been around the WHOLE time, but originally, the green lanterns didnt really... fight it. the guardian's were their masters (and even father figures, to hal) and not to be questioned. the rings in the 60s were also much more powerful, despite the yellow weakness (the yellow weakness is the notion that from about the 60s to the mid 90s the green lantern rings were completely unable to be used against anything yellow). time travel, phasing, teleporting, etc were all very viable and common things- as well as forceful shapeshifting, invisibility, mind control, mind reading, etc etc. these days, writers have dampened these powers down to mostly shooting light and constructs.

okay, it's parallax time. the emerald twilight arc from the mid 90s wasn't an arc that was as thoroughly planned out over a long period of time as it probably should have been. a lot of fans at the time (and even now) hated what happened there, and claimed it ruined hal's character entirely. i can understand why! but, at it's core, the parallax arc is a story about a broken man pushed to the limit, fully grieving his home and family (originally, he lost his brother jim in the destruction of coast city, along with a lot of other family members) and being goddamn fed up with how his "masters" treated him and the rest of the corps. the so called "perfect lantern" (no, he wasn't that much of a rebel, despite what johns wants you to think) snapped and essentially tried to gain as much power as he could to bring back coast city. when the guardians stripped him of his powers so he couldn't, hal became enraged and took down every lantern in his path, just to get to the guardians and that power. long story short, he kills the guardians and absorbs all the energy from the central power battery on oa, becoming parallax- essentially a god. this marks the start of zero hour, an event made by dc to restructure and reset; giving the comics a new generation of heroes. hal destroys the world and remakes it, but is ultimately taken down by kyle rayner, the new green lantern, with the help of the jla, jsa and associates. there are a few more run ins with parallax after this, before kyle convinces parallax/hal that he can make up for all of this by reigniting the sun after it went out- aka killing himself. hal does it, is stuck in limbo for awhile and then becomes the spectre to continue to make up for the horrible things he did as parallax. the spectre is the spirit of god's wrath and vengeance, a weapon used to drag sinners to their very own, self made hells, and scare the shit out of people. the spectre, from it's very first appearance, is a ghost like spirit that takes on a host, and is primarily described using christian terms and is used in a very... christian ideology. HOWEVER, the spectre 2001 confirms that hal is jewish (jewish mom, catholic dad) and that belief system, plus his personality as a whole, literally makes him change the spirit of vengeance into the spirit of redemption, for at least as long as they are bonded. the whole parallax to spectre arc is about grief, pain, cycles of abuse and terror, redemption and guilt. it is NOT about a fear bug that possess hal. (im so serious though, the spectre 2001 is one of the best comics ive ever read. amazing. changed my world view) but... geoff johns changed all of it, decanonized the spectre, and ruined the legacy of parallax and hal's growth as a person by releasing green lantern: rebirth in 2004/2005. this retcons hal's breakdown and journey through grief into him BEING POSSESSED BY AN ENTITY CONTROLLED BY SINESTRO THAT FULLY CHANGES PREVIOUS GREEN LANTERN CANON AND IMPLICATIONS. also, fucks up the importance of kyle becoming ion, but whatever. geoff johns writes hal (and even more so, carol) so very wrong, and change their stories so vastly in ways that go against the stories very meanings.

SIGH.

now... time to get started on some rougher stuff. hal jordan misconceptions. i'm saving that arc for last.

- hal jordan wasn't much of a rule breaker or rebel until the 70s/80s, where he BEGAN (very slowly, mind you) to be radicalized by oliver queen during denny o'neil's green lantern/green arrow. hal was painted as more of a conservative during this period (which, admittedly, kind of goes against previous canon... he's always been relatively central to liberal, not to any extremes like ollie though, lol) but gets more and more understanding of how power structures work and how lower classes are mistreated during this time- which ends up opening his eyes a bit to how shitty the guardians are. (this is helped by the guardians literally just. leaving. the green lanterns and kind of disbanding them so they can go fuck the zamarons, lmao). geoff johns tried to change this narrative into making hal a very... maverick-from-top-gun type of character, who punched his way out of the military (when, in reality, the original story during emerald knights in the late 90s was that hal had been framed for stealing a jet and was dishonorably discharged, which he took the punishment for because he knew someone had to) and hits on women constantly and gets ladies and allat (which, funnily enough hal was awful at getting carol to like him for a long time, since carol fell for green lantern rather than hal. not to mention the awkwardness of carol's proposals or hal's many, many failed relationships). hal has always been insecure and lowkey boyfailure, he is NOT a top gun maverick tom cruise sorta guy! fuck you jeremy adams!

- hes not that much of an idiot asshole. hal can be a real dick, he's had that going for him since the beginning, but he isn't what you read in batfam fics. he's not stupid and shouldn't be the laughingstock of the justice league. i assume this idea started from the obsession with batfam and the fact that the jla has quite the history of ignoring hal and his issues (as well as. all of their issues. theyre not so great at work life balance), but it's gone too far. hal isn't making fun of the robins and pissing bruce off bc of that. hal isnt fooling around on the job 24/7 (he takes being a gl and pilot VERY seriously, although he does enjoy some danger and high stakes) or slacking off to get girls. again. not top gun maverick.

- hal has not been a creep since the beginnings. hal was not weird with carol in the 60s. things were weird between them, yeah, but that's based off circumstance and the craziness of star sapphire and green lantern. he was NOT being horribly sleazy! i hate that i even need to say this, but i see this take too much not to

- going off of what was said above, lets discuss the arisia arc. if you want to be a real hal fan, this is unfortunately something you need to know about. in action comics, after crisis and the guardians left to go fuck the zamarons, most of the green lanterns fell apart and seperated. a small group went to earth- led by hal and consisting of hal, john stewart, katma tui, kilowog, salaakk, ch'p and arisia rrab. (also sometimes guy gardner, but that's complicated) previously to this arc, hal treated 14 year old arisia like a beloved little sister, welcoming her and leading her into the corps just like everyone else. things started to change once the timeline gets closer and closer to crisis, where arisia starts showing that she has a crush on hal (who is roughly 30s at this point). any advances made by arisia are shut down by hal at the beginning, because she's a child. now, it's unfortunately a common thing to just call hal a "pedophile" because of what happens in this arc- but it really isn't that simple. still weird and icky, but definitely not to the degree of which some fans like to act like it is- esp to attack hal fans for, which is... an odd choice regarding how many fucked up things every character (esp male characters) did back in the day. arisia ends up using her power ring to artifically age herself up, making her body AND MIND into that of a young adult (the comic makes this very clear). once this happens... hal stops rejecting her. they get together, they kiss. the only person in the group of green latnerns who actually has an issue with it is john (salaakk is meh about it, but he just doesn't like human-esque romance no matter what), and katma even directly encourages their relationship. kilowog ends up crushing on arisia as well, and guy gardner hits on her repeatedly throughout the whole period. eventually, hal and arisia break up, but this legacy (thank so much englehart, for wrtiting this. /sarc) is a big controversy among the comics crowd. "is hal jordan a predator?" personally, and i know a lot of friends/mutuals/other gl fans choose to erase the arisia arc entirely (versus how canon ended up retconning it to be 14 earth years is equal to that of an adult and she didn't really get super ages up, or whatever) and go with the familial relationship between hal and her. that's my preferred version! i know red (@katmaatui) has explored that version as well as an alternate version where the arisia arc did happen, and how it affects arisia in particular, which is really depressing but super interesting. anyway, it's complicated and weird and nuanced, but that whole occurence doesn't mean hal's a bad character or person (cause yk. retcons) and it's certainly not bad to like his character. (definitely ignore any guy gardner fans who try to bitch about this arc. cough cough. guy was ALSO into her and hit on her repeatedly. smfh) most people who bring this up to demonize fans didn't even read the arc, and don't know the nuance or the other weird shit that happens in it. (hal is not a horse, sigh)

OVERALL NOTES!

hal jordan is a super complicated character with an extensive history spanning from the 60s to his worse written appearances in modern age. it's okay to like any version of the character, but it is important to note the changes that have been made, the storylines butchered and lost, and more. he has quite the legacy, and he's particularly interesting as from a moral standpoint. hal's a real sweetie though, when it gets down to it! he's neurodivergent coded (imo at least.. his dad very much gets onto him for being disrtracted, hes kinda shit at social interaction (and then amazing at it the other half of the time) etc etc. "spacecase") and his dad is an abusive asshole, who he desperately doesnt want to be like but thinks he NEEDS to be like!

[cable-salamder]

Istg if they parallel Jaya in a way that Jay goes off somewhere on his own and he keeps thinking that there’s something to recall until he hears a single name which drives him to find whoever that name belongs to and he goes to this big event for maybe some luck, but unlike for Sea Nya when he sees who that name belongs to and doesn’t actually remember anything else and he’s just left to try and figure it all by himself then I might just die. Just a little bit.

[bruciemilf]

As someone who works in customer service, it’s fucking abhorrent we’re not allowed to just tell customers refunds or services just aren’t possible sometimes.

like. Like. Sorry, you’re not gonna get what you want 100% of the time!! The more people get used to being denied when it’s okay, the more they’ll stop acting like they’re entitled all the time.

[they-didnt-last]

anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??

[passingthetime]

Just a thing I'm curious about, would appreciate reblogs for sample size!

[schmweed]

[intuitive-revelations]

Hmmm....

Thematically i kind of liked that.

But man that plot was... not good.