#this road trip has already been hellish

[anjelicawrites]

Come with us on a little spin II

Part I

Paring: Aemond Targaryen x reader x Osferth. Implied Aemond x Osferth

Synopsis: part II of the request from lovely anon: “what about an aemond x reader x osferth where all 3 decide to do a road trip and the whole time the guys are just loving on reader and giving her TONS of affection” 

Warnings: reference to sexy times but SFW overall. Small medical emergency, if this triggers you.

Your first weekend out on the van had been a success. The three of you went to the beach and basked in each other's company. Granted, you had to chase after Osferth in order to put sunscreen on his pale skin every three hours, he already has so many moles and likes to roast himself in the sun, that you are truly afraid he might get an erythema. Aemond, on the contrary, thinks a tan is for peasants and is always happy to chase Osferth and keep him still until you have covered him in sunscreen. You might have shocked the families on the beach, by kissing one another every giving moment or being dogpiled over one another or due to the collar Aemond wears proudly around is neck; yes, people had stared at the three of you strangely, but you just ignored them and relaxed the hellish year you had lived away.

It’s July now and you are traveling for the whole month. You are finally free from the Whatsapp chats for school, you have purposely left your last pack of cigarettes at home and are ready to spend the month visiting cities, reading books and making love to your two men. Aemond is visibly relaxed, hairs up in a complicated style to show off the leather collar around his neck. He has tried many times to put into words how much better he feels when he snaps the latch close as soon as he is at home, but he fails every time. He wishes he could wear it at work, but he knows his grandfather would use you and Osferth against him as means to control him, and he can’t risk that, you two are the only reason he is keeping it together and will protect you with his life, if needed. He is on holiday now, nobody knows him and can parade around with the symbol of your love without fear; he has even left his work phone at home, to your and Osferth’s surprise and it shows how much tension has left his shoulders and jaw. Aemond loves his family, truly and deeply but sometimes it is all so difficult to manage.

It’s later on your first official night of holiday; since he is the one who picked the shortest straw, Osferth is the one tasked with grocery shopping, while you and Aemond are curled on the bed, legs interweaved together, breaths mingling 

“I’ve missed you” his eyepatch is off and the skin around the sapphire is a bit red. You make a mental note to put some cream on it before he wears it again

“I’ve gone nowhere” you feign ignorance

“This last year. I can’t believe we have let you slip through the cracks for so long”

“But you grasped me at the right time, didn't you?” you smile caressing his hairs

“We should have never taken your strength for granted” he is remorseful. He prides himself to be an attentive lover and he hadn’t noticed how much the stress was gnawing at you

“If anything, I should have asked for your help way sooner. I am still so used in dealing with my problems alone, when I have two wonderful men by my side” you sigh and Aemond just holds you closer, your head under his chin, your arms around his torso

“That will not happen again” he promises, wishing there was a way to keep you safe from all the stress and negativity of your life

“I know - you kiss the hollow of his throat, right under the leather of the collar - Will you do the same? Ask for our help in your time of need?” he stiffens for a second but his arms are still caging you. 

He is doing so much better, he has grown so much from the lonely young men you had met, but the unhealthy coping mechanisms are difficult to let go; it is so hard to learn to ask for help when no one has ever taught you how to, even when you have two people in your life who have shown you time and time again that they are there for you. 

“I’ll try - his hands are drawing nonsensical shapes on your back - I can’t promise I will every single time, but I want to”.

You move so that you can kiss his lips, it’s chaste and you don’t want it to go any further, not when you feel he has something else to say

“The therapist says I am improving in that regard - he is so proud of himself, when he had started he was ashamed he had to confide in a paid specialist - he says I am closer to my goal than I think I am. I hope he is right”

“I believe he is. I am so proud of the work you are doing on yourself. I’ll help you in any way I can” you hug him tight, you legs around his waist to try and mold yourself against him

“Avy jorrāelan. Will you make love to me? Slow and gentle?” he asks, while he turns on his back, so that you can straddle him

“Yes” you kiss him slowly and thoroughly. When you come up for air, you remove his t-shirt you are wearing, leaving you in all your naked glory, the sight is akin to a punch in the stomach for him, even now, after all this time

                                                         ***

It’s almost noon and you are sitting on the grass in front of the museum. The three of you have been walking for the whole morning and you are feeling the tiredness sinking in your legs. Your job is sedentary and even though your boys make you do loads of cardio, you have overestimated your stamina and are in need of food and rest, until it’s your turn for the visit. 

“Are you feeling a bit better?” you can feel Osferth’s concern while you finish the bottle of water

“Yeah. I’ve asked too much from myself” you let your back collide with the trunk of a three as Osferth removes your hiking boots

“You should have used the sandals. It’s far too hot for these” he says while he pats your sweaty, hot face with a wet paper handkerchief

“Remind me tomorrow” you try to smile, but you feel too hot.

For all your concerns about Osferth getting erythema, it’s only fitting that you have managed to overheat yourself to this point. Aemond is on a mission to find some ice, while Osferth is trying to hydrate you and to keep you under as much shade as he can. He delicately removes the backpack from your shoulders and helps you roll the short sleeves and the hem of his T-shirt you are wearing, trying to help you lose steam, your colorful socks go next as you plant your feet on the cool grass

“If you are not feeling any better in a short while, we are going back to the van”

“No - you try to be assertive but it sounds more like a whine - I don’t want to ruin our day!”

“You would ruin it if we are forced to get you to the A&E - his voice is stern, but the way he looks at you is somewhat shy - the stupid museum will be here tomorrow” the way he says it leaves no space for argument.

You lift your hand slowly, every movement is a battle, to caress his smooth cheek and he leans into your sweaty palm, nuzzling like a cat and kissing the skin there. Blindly he reaches for another water bottle and passes it to you, only to stop you when you are almost ready to pour it on your naked tummy, scolding you for your foolishness, but you feel so hot you start whining. He kisses your forehead and grabs another hanky to wet and cool your forehead with. While you drink, Osferth is scanning the crowd looking for Aemond; your temperature is somewhat lower, but you look like hell and he knows you need the A/C from the van. While he sits near you, your head on his shoulder, he calls an Uber and texts Aemond: you are going back and he should hurry with the ice.

That night you sleep in the middle, with Osferth’s arm curled just under your breasts, so that he can feel your rib cage moving, and Aemond’s head right over your heart. 

                                                           ***

After you disastrous outing in the city, the boys have changed the plans and have opted to go up in the mountains, waiting for the temperatures to drop a bit (apparently there’s going to be a couple of weeks of rain at the end of the month) so that you three can explore the wilderness and you are in no risk of overheating again.

It’s awfully early in the morning, but Osferth is already awake. You are not against an early start yourself, but it is dangerous to talk to you before your breakfast. Aemond is still dead to the world: he has passed part of the night awake, just listening to your heartbeat and afraid you would be sick again. When you try to uncurl yourself from him, he hugs you even tighter. 

You see Osferth’s head pop from the stairs landing to the bed

“Good morning lady - he smiles - breakfast is ready”

“I am in no position to move,” you whisper. Even though you stomach is grumbling, you don’t want to wake Aemond

“Don’t go anywhere” and he disappears, as if you have a choice.

You resign yourself to starving to death, when a tray appears at the end of the bed, followed by another and then Osferth’s lovely face and smile. He pushes the trays where they are not in his way and crawls to you side

“How are you feeling?”

“Better. I really don’t know what happened yesterday”

“You pushed yourself too hard, as usual - his hand caresses you brow lovingly - I should have seen that coming and stopped you”

“You are not the boss of me Osferth” 

“I am, sometimes - his smile is the cute mix of swagger and shyness that had you fallen for him long ago - You love it, I love it, Aemond loves it”

“Aemond is more subby than I’ll ever be. I seem to be recalling all the times you begged prettily for me, Osferth and called me ‘Mistress’. I should probably remind you” your hand travels around his neck and squeeze lightly; the mood is broken by your stomach rumbling loudly

“Let me feed you, mistress - he rumbles low in his throat, the vibrations travel down your arm straight to your clit - and then we can discuss who is bossing who”.

You try to adjust yourself in a more comfortable position to eat, without dislodging Aemond from his sleeping position. You try to grab some of the toast but Osferth lovingly takes your hand, kisses your palm and starts feeding you small bites; there’s fruit too and pancakes with chocolate syrup. You jokingly smear some cream on his lips and motion him to come closer to lick the chocolate from his lips and he kisses you, morning breath be damned, you deepen the kiss, your tongue sliding against his as he hums in pleasure while your hand grasps his hairs to keep him in place, right where you want him. 

Osferth’s eyes are glassy when he emerges from the kiss

“I think you can do all the bossing you want” he says, dazed

“She’d do it anyway”  you hear from you stomach area

“Good morning Aemond. Slept well?” you ask as he rolls on his back and stretches; your eyes immediately are glued to the small stretch of skin emerging from his boxer shorts

“How are you feeling?” you can see the concern in his eye

“Better. Still a bit dazed maybe, but my core temperature is absolutely fine” you say, positioning your back against Osferth’s chest and signaling for Aemond to come closer. 

You end up feeding one another food, chocolate spills on naked chests by ‘mistake’ and is promptly licked away; what was supposed to be a quick breakfast in bed turns into a long lovemaking session, until the three of you are too sweaty and tired to continue. You three fall asleep again, dogpiled on one another, even Osferth who had, more than once, functioned on three hours of sleep, a cup of coffee and a prayer, happily snores with his head on your tummy; his concerns for you yesterday and the fact that had slept a grand total of two hours, have gnawed at his stamina more than he had thought.

You wake up almost at noon, both your lovers are awake, you can hear them pottering about; before covering you with the soft sheet, one of them has dressed you in Aemond’s old, tattered college t-shirt you use to sleep and cleaned the mess between your legs. 

You slowly climb down the ladder, still feeling a bit dizzy from yesterday and the lovemaking,   the chilling of the air makes goosebumps appear on the naked skin of your legs; as you exit the van, you are welcomed by the view of beautiful mountains 

“Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore” you smile to your lovely boyfriends

“Slight change of plans gevie. We’re bunking here until the air chills a bit”

“I see that” they have organized the space outside the van so that you can eat and lounge there.

Out of nowhere Osferth just grabs you and carries you bridal style to one of the deck chairs, deaf to your screeches that he’ll hurt his back. After he has positioned you there he just stares at you, proud of his work

“You know I can walk, right?”

“You almost gave us a heart attack lady. You are not moving a finger until you are truly feeling better”

“I need to shower Osferth, are you going to follow me there?” his resolve crumbles a bit as he pouts. The bathroom is so small that you are forced to use it taking turns, Osferth even prefers to shower outside the van when you are not around people. 

“I can carry you there and wait patiently until you are done”

“You won’t be able to keep your hands for yourself and we’ll make a mess everywhere”

“I will not. I have an ironclad will” this statement is met by a snicker from Aemond

“If memory serves me well, you lasted a couple of hours when you bet you could resist our lovely dāria’s offers” your heart does a little spin when Aemond calls you ‘queen’

“I can manage, I promise” you reassure them

“Are you sure you are truly better?” Osferth kneels by your side, concern all over his face

“Yes, I promise I am feeling stronger and I am famished, which is always a good sign” you delicately bump your head against his. 

It hasn’t been such a long time since anyone has been this concerned with your well being, if you consider the past year, but you feel blessed anyhow. Before Aemond and Osferth, you were used to looking after yourself, because no one else did. Somehow you still can’t believe you have managed to land not one, but two boyfriends whose first concern is your health and safety.

Aemond delicately takes your hand and helps you back on your feet, he then stares at you attentively, hunting for signs that you are still unwell; after he is finished he nods to himself, releases a soft "hmm" of approval and declares you fit for a shower and nothing else. You try to say that you are capable of going on a walk, but your men cage you in, Aemond on the front and Osferth at your back

“Let us take care of you, gevie. Don’t you have tons of books to read?”

“Don’t kinkshame me - you try to sidetrack him, but Aemond is too skilled to fall for that - I do” you have to concede

“Wouldn't it be lovely if you just lie back for some days, just reading and sleeping?” Osferth’s voice tickles the sensitive skin of the back of your neck

“Yes, but I want to go with you on a hike! Visit museums and get lost in the city” you pout

“We can always go on hikes and those places will always be there for you. You have pushed yourself hard this last year, you need your strength back”

“Let us serve you gevie dāria. We are yous to command”

“If you keep this up, my head will inflate and explode” you hide your face against Aemond’s neck

“We’ll never let anything happen to you - you can feel the remorse in Osferth’s voice - you will accept our compliments like a good girl”

“I will, I will” you smile, trying to untangle yourself from your two lovers, who just keep you there, safe in their arms.

The shower is quick, your legs feeling strong as your head is clear; you spot both your lovers waiting for you to finish, they are ready to dry you with long, slow motions of their big hands and you think they might be go for another round, but they just need the closeness that comes with taking care of you. They dress you in one of Aemond’s gray T-shirts and Osferth’s hoodies; unfortunately you can’t wear any of their bottoms, due to their ridiculous trim waists if compared to yours, but the sight of you partially dressed in their clothes is enough to sate their need to know you are safe with them.

The late lunch is uneventful, and you race Osferth to the small kitchen sink to do the dishes; you have your hands in the lukewarm water, when you feel his strong body behind yours. He puts his hands in the water, removes yours, dries them and then starts the washing; when you try to help he just tells you no, but doesn’t let you go anywhere, so you are left with turning around to hug him, your head under his chin. He doesn’t speak, but you can feel the lines of tension still in his muscles; your Osferth is a warrior and a protector, who is still blaming himself for not having seen the amount of stress you have been put under during the year and for not noticing how much you body is still trying to cope

“I love you Os, thank you for all you are doing for me, for keeping me safe when I wasn’t - he stiffens at your words - I know you always do your best, even when you think you don’t or you believe you have failed. You haven’t, you never have and never will”.

His wet hands shoot around your middle and he hugs you tight, you can feel him tremble at your words

“That will not happen again”

“I know you’ll always have my back”.

                                                           ***

The rest of your days are spent between lounging in the sun reading, chasing after Osferth who still tries not to put sunscreen on and going on hikes. You always have the hand of one of your loves in yours, sometimes Osferth would go faster to check that the terrain is easy enough for you and Aemond, but he would always come back ready to be near you.

This last leg of this hike is a bit steep for your own liking so you and Aemond are sitting under a tree, waiting for Osferth to return in order to go back where you came from. You are sitting between Aemond’s legs, his big hands splayed on your tummy, the two of you are just trying to recognize the different types of trees and failing miserably, like the city mice you are. It feels just right to be in his arms like this, as if he was made just for you, your protector who knows you can handle bad things yourself.

You grab your phone and take another selfie with him; your camera roll is basically you and your boys, who are extremely shy when it comes to being photographed and always manage to sport some weird expressions. You have a special folder in your phone for their worst facial expressions; those are the photos tidying you over when they are both away and you feel lonely. Aemond starts perusing said folder and you can hear his soft chuckles; it used to be so rare to hear him laugh with true happiness, but he is starting to do it more with you and Osferth, letting himself go, knowing his walls are not needed with the two of you. You turn and embrace him with all your might as he kisses the crown of your head 

“Avy jorrāelan, issa dāria. I love you my queen, forever” he adds.

***

For once the weather man is right and the city welcomes you with heavy rain and cooler temperatures. The three of you don’t really mind, jumping from one museum to another, your boys always next to you, one with one arm around your waist, the other on your shoulder, while you tell them some unknown facts about a painter, a sculptor or their art pieces. People stare at you but you three don’t mind, just basking in the fact that you can do this together. You manage to snap terrible photos of them, wet like newborn kittens or trying to avoid the rain; you don’t really mind the downpour and your boys have to remind you that you might catch a cold and more than once they have carried you so that you wouldn’t wet your sneakers in the puddles. Your nights are spent in the van, which has a back part that can be used either as storage or a continuation of the living area. You usually put all your pillows and blankets on the floor so that you can just hang there, reading poetry to your lovers while the sky pours rain violently on the area. You don’t feel cold, wrapped up as you are in Aemond’s warmest cardigan, while he is lying down on your legs and Osferth is curled behind you, giving you sips from his tea. 

“Same thing next year?” Aemond says with his face against your tummy

“Minus the heath stroke? Count me in” you answer

“You know we can do this during the winter holidays too, right?” Osferth pipes in

“I’m game” you say

“As long as you don’t freeze”

“I’ll never be able, with you by my side Aemond”.

This is how life should always be, you think: curled up with the men you love, safe in the knowledge of their love, come hell or high water.

[canonicallysoulmates]

Last year, I did a post looking back at some of the j2 moments 2019 and the 2010’s decade had given us, this year with it being so shit and so many of us needing some cheering up I thought I’d do a 2020 version.

So before we say fuck off to 2020 here are some of the j2 moments this year has given us:

SM isn’t everything but it’s still cute when the boys interact with each other online and the year actually started with it, with both boys liking each other’s New Year’s pictures with their kiddos:

X

Those weren’t the only SM interactions, on a more recent example by which I mean December they had this cute little exchange under a pic Jared posted were he was sleeping:

XX

And Jensen liked this cute pic of his smiling boy:

XX

Of course nothing compares to the best SM moment of the year: Jared’s beautiful, emotional, touching, heartfelt birthday message for Jensen 🥺:

And Jensen’s reply ❤:

X

Before everything went under lockdown we got one convention, among the moments we got from it were:

- Jared talking about his birthday post to Jensen, calling Jensen his boy and saying that he has pictures of him and Jensen just hanging out on his phone

full gifset

- Fist bump

- And a hug

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To me one of the best j2 moments 2020 gave us was the release of this amazing EW photoshoot that I will forever be in love with (especially this cover I will never be over this cover) 😍

This photoshoot was the gift that kept on giving! Not only did we get beautiful new photos of the boys, but we also got some amazing content from the bts like

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Look at them! The way Jensen closes his eyes and leans into Jared, the way they look at each other this is what love looks like people! 🥰 Find someone who will look at you like how j2 look are looking at each other in that gif. 

And even the accompanying interview gave us a little something with Jared saying that he burrowed strength from Jensen when he was struggling with the job

Padalecki, 37, who’s been vocal about his struggle in the early seasons, says. “I borrowed strength from Jensen.” x

And this is barely the tip of the iceberg I’m just providing some examples of what that photoshoot gave us but it was a feast!

Summer seemed to be the never ending dry spell, many wondered ‘will we ever get j2 content again?’ and the answer was...yes!

Starting with a little interview the boys did with small moments such as

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And Jensen confirming he and Jared still live near one another.

When Jensen appeared for the second time on Rosenbaum’s podcast he spend a good part of it being fond over Jared and making them sound totally married sharing a story about Jared’s preferred breakfast burrito and how he and Jared have bickered over it and of course starting of the panel by making it clear covid or no covid him and Jared would be making out:

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The boys had a joint virtual Q&A panel filled with moments, they were joking around, they made each other laugh, and it all started with Jensen saying how handsome Jared looked.

When filming wrapped up Jared and Jensen had their own celebration with dinner and champagne at one of their favorite restaurants:

"Jared and I wrapped on Thursday, and Saturday night he and I went to one of our all-time favorite restaurants, just us, and toasted with some champagne," Ackles says. x

Those two can’t get enough of each other so they road tripped part of the way home together!

“He and I just drove together all of our stuff across the border. So, we drove up together for season 1 and we drove away together for season 15.” - Jensen in the Chelsea Davis interview

Jared mentioning their road trip during a TVLine interview & during a TVInsider interview 

With Supernatural coming to an end a lot of interviews took place and provided us with content:

The Talk interview gave us a married moment, when the boys were asked who had the messier dressing room Jensen replied Jared did to which Jared literally went no sir, no sir. 

The CNN interview had the boys admitting not working together will be an adjustment with Jensen saying “So, it will be different, and that’s probably when he and I will call each other and be like, ‘I miss you so much!’” as well as this moment  "Oh, I thought you meant we fell in love," Ackles quips."We fell in love, too," Padalecki jokes. When I add that plotline was only in fan fiction, Ackles retorts, "Or was it?" Padalecki erupts in laughter. "There it goes the internet."

In an interview with Chelsea Davis Jensen once again brought up that him and Jared will be contacting each other from their new shows

“Jared said it, he’s like I don’t think it’s really gonna set in until we walk unto the set of some other show. But that’s fine cause then we’ll just turn around and call each other and be like ‘what’s your show like?’”

Jared having a little fond moment over Jensen during one of the TVline segments

Jensen saying that 15yrs ago him and Jared got on a rollercoaster (Supernatural) and that he couldn’t have asked for a better partner:

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Jared comparing him and Jensen finishing the show to the time they ran the Seattle Marathon together (yes, the marathon they ran together and crossed the finish line holding hands) 😭❤: 

“There were a lot of tears all over but Ackles and I were looking at each other like, ‘Man’. It was kind of like finishing the Seattle Marathon. We did it. Dude, we did it, you know? We put in the work…I’ve been with you for 15 years, 15-½ years. I’ve seen you sweat. I’ve seen you bleed. I’ve seen you hurt. I’ve seen you going through stuff personally and put it aside for this show, for your character and I know I’ve done the same and it was bittersweet.”  x

Jensen talking about his and Jared’s Impala’s in the USA Today interview

Ackles says he was “floored” by the gift: “And it's cool, because now Jared and I can just drag-race around Austin.”

“If we get pulled over, it'd be like, ‘Don't worry. FBI Agent Robert Plant,’" Padalecki adds.

“We've got FBI badges in the glove box,” Ackles confirms.

The last virtual panel of the year was Jared’s and it was full of love for Jensen; Jared mentioned him often, unprompted he shared the story of when the twins were born and how hectic it was for him and Jensen to return to Austin in time for their birth honestly hearing him talk about it it’s clear how important that day was for him too and it’s just so sweet, he said him and Jensen will definitely work together again and he hopes it’ll be sooner rather than later, also said Jensen has a standing invitation to do whatever he wants on Walker, and implied he’s already looked at his schedule to see if he could make it up to Toronto where Jensen will be working in 2021. 

And these are just some moments; I know that with everything going on and time losing all meaning it might have seemed like we had a j2-less year but as you can see that’s not true cause not even a pandemic or this hellish year were able to stop or dim the beauty that is j2 and their relationship. 

This men make me so ridiculously happy, and with this being such a hard year for all of us, for some more than others, it makes me all that extra grateful for them and to them for bringing a smile to my face. I hope that with this post they will bring a smile to yours. I personally am looking forward to seeing what j2 goodies 2021 gives us, I’m hopeful there’ll be plenty, our boys have new projects coming out, God willing cons will be able to pick up again in a safe way, and there’ll be even more j2 content to enjoy. 

Until then, stay safe, take care of yourselves, and Happy New Years my fellow tinhats! ❤

[actual-fucking-clown]

I just heard that you're doing requests!!! I already love your content and fully agree that Natsuo Todoroki is King~!!! If I may bother to ask a request? Just all the hcs you want to write about Ice Man bc it's getting to June where I live, and I don't mind cooling down~

Tera, my beloved, I'm going to be honest I literally fucking screamed upon seeing this request!!! I’ve been reading your fics before I even had like an acc here, so we vibin :) Also after the day I’ve had I need some fucking Ice man in my life n hopefully doing this will help me write my way out of the writers block that has been plaguing me for months!!!!

Future Blue here to say I had up to like all done last night and then my internet ate shit and I lost everything after 5. smfh. Woulda been done last night but the loss of my writing got me fucked up lolololololol. N e way

Warnings: cursing obvi, uh like nsfw for a hc or 2, my unorganized hcs that really follow no succinct line of thought and might not even be actual hcs???????

So Natsuo, 

There is not a thing I wouldn’t do for this man, bc honestly after all the shit he’s put up with he deserves the world and then some. But I digress.

1. I think he’s a hesitant but attentive boyf. Like he seems like a genuinely friendly dude but I think it’d take him a while to properly warm up to someone enough to date them. And even then I think he might struggle to open up to his partner about anything like, emotionally. Not to say he’s entirely emotionally closed off or anything but somethings are just harder to trust people with. The main thing being his familial issues. And of course that’s were most of this stems from. 

Now for the attentive part. His family dynamic has set a precedent on what not to do in a relationship so he’s always hyper aware of the things he or his s/o does, trying his best to avoid making any of the mistakes his parents made. Of course if he finds the right person he’ll be surprised to find that having a non-toxic relationship can be less stressful than he thought. It’s like a huge weight was just lifted from his shoulders.

2. He’s fucking hella romantic. Like he’s shitty romance movie romantic. He’s out here trying his best n woof. Gimme gimme. On date nights he pulls out all the stops. Sometimes it’s a nice classic dinner date at a pretty nice restaurant downtown, or it’s a picnic in the park at noon, or it’s stargazing from the roof of his or his s/o’s dorm/apartment/house, or driving out to a beach just for a long walk at sunset, or road trips to nowhere in particular. I could go on, I really could but you get the gist.

3. He’s got shitty pickup lines for days. Whenever I say shitty I mean like “god I hate it but at the same time I love it” kinda shitty. But yeah he likes to see his s/o’s reaction to his stupid pickup lines, whether they get flustered, or die laughing, or groan and make a snide remark, he’s here for it. Shoot one back at him and he get’s so absolutely red. Mans wasn’t ready. Mans will never be ready.

4. This just came to me but let’s be honest a lot of us here, myself included, have some sort of fucking daddy kink and like, I get it obvi but in this situation never call this man daddy. I feel like for him that is an instant turn off. I’m sorry to everyone I’m letting down but sometimes daddy issues don’t lead to a daddy kink. 

5. But on the topic of kinks I think this man is pretty vanilla, he doesn’t scream “freak” to me, you know? Just normal amazing sex. Oh but he does enjoy hella praise both receiving and giving.

6. Hopping off that train of thought and onto another I think he kinda tries to keep his s/o as far away from his family as possible. He doesn’t hate them (when I say them you know i mean everyone except Enji bc he avoids that man like the plague and like keeping his s/o far far far away from that man was a given), no he just likes to have something so utterly untouched by his family issues. Mans needs a breath of fresh air.

-These next 2 I think will veer off from being hcs a bit and just like shit that I like to think about in general. Does that make sense? Who knows lololol. N e way. I like to think a lot about two aspects of this man, well 1 aspect of the man himself and one....dynamic? It’ll make sense in a few so just hear me out. 

7. Ok so like I saw this post somewhere eons and eons ago. It was long before current manga events, maybe around the time we’d just gotten Natsuo in the manga. My memory of this post is hazy at best so bear with me as I stumble over my thoughts. Obvi at this point in time we had little to nothing on this beautiful, beautiful man, so people were left to theorize. So this one post, was really that shitty meme where it’s like “small brain if you think such n such, bigger brain if this, n galaxy brain if this, etc., etc.” Where in essence it was like, “He probably has a weak ice quirk but what if some sort of ice based healing quirk or no quirk at all!” N i think about it a lot to this day. I don’t believe that either of those are true but I do think it is absolutely immaculate food for thought so uh do with that what you will.

8. I guess this is back on hc territory but Natsuo isn’t picky with who he dates, as long as you’re not an asshole he’s kinda set, good to go. Now most of the fics for him you’ll see are like “ay yo, you’re another college hoe or like you’re just a civilian” but like what would the dynamic be if he dated a hero?????? I don’t think he hates heroes but his father has definitely had an impact on his view of them. He’s not enamored with them like I guess the rest of the population is so what if hero s/o?????? Perhaps?????? Have I suddenly had a fic idea??????? I like the idea of Natsuo with a like super popular Pro hero s/o or with like a super lowkey underground hero idk this whole post has been me spitballing shit.

9. Back onto proper hcs, it’s a common one that mans runs cold and ugh pls yes. It is also June rn and while the past few days have been cool and sexy the weeks prior had been hellish and on top of that I despise summer so give me all of that. Mans is your personal ac, he’s not opposed to his s/o just spending a hellishly hot day laying on top of him as they watch garbage reality tv.

10. Can we talk love language? Physical touch. He just radiates that energy. Probably touch starved, obviously due to you know what. But yeah definitely a hard physical touch. (Which is actually my least favorite love language considering I’m quite ✨𝓣𝓸𝓾𝓬𝓱 𝓻𝓮𝓹𝓾𝓵𝓼𝓮𝓭 ✨but hey I’m not here to project I’m just here to tell you what I see n therefore think) He likes to be touching his s/o like 24/7. Out in public shopping or some shit? Holding hands, linked pinkies, arm around the shoulders or waist. At home? Sheesh be ready to be smothered bb.

TLDR: What a man 🥵

I think I’ve gotten most if not all of my thoughts about our beloved ice man out. I hope you enjoyed my nonsensical ramblings :)

Have a good morning/afternoon/night!!!!!

[needdatbag]

Drinking You

notes: Hi! This is my first fanfiction ever. I just wanna see if anyone might like it? Haha...Anyway, if you do, please leave a like or a comment. Hope you enjoy! Oh and this is only the first part. 

Summary: You encounter a stranger on your way back from the grocery shop and everything about him pulls you in. 

Pairings: Eren Yeager x Reader; Various pairings eventually

Warnings: NSFW; mentions of smoking.

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Part 1-Stranger Danger

You were not ok. Today was a hellish Monday like you rarely encountered. Of course Monday sucked in general  but it’s a different kind of pain when you work in a department full of detectives. Everyone is stressed day after day and they don’t have any notion about free time, for them it is equivalent with supplementary work. It’s been 4 months since you started working as the main profiler of the team and you feel as if you need to step up your game. Everyone likes you but the fact that you’re new in the field is noticeable. You do your best all the time but experience is key after all. So here you are, after working hours, walking out of the closest store while holding a beer and a pack of cigarettes in one hand while the other is busy holding the phone to your ear.

’’I will take a look as soon as I get back to my desk, I was planning on checking the brief details we have about this case anyway. I took the file before I left and I will be making an idea about the whole deal tonight. We will receive the rest tomorrow, right? I mean I can get something but without all the information it might just be wrong or incomplete.’’

Your boss sighed and agreed with you.

’’I know. There is a reason behind this lack of information but I am afraid you’ll have to find out tomorrow. I will explain everything to you as soon as we have the OK from the fucking higher-ups. Do what you can tonight, L/N.’’

He was tired but you almost swore you felt a tinge of sadness in his tone. Your gut told you something was just starting. You gulped.

’’Don’t worry sir. You’ll have the draft for the initial report on your desk as soon as I get to work.’’ 

You said goodbye and hung up while tossing the phone in the pocket of the pyjama pants you wore. You came home half an hour ago, ate a quick dinner and realised you forgot to buy the two things you needed for survival on days such as this Monday: a beer and cigarettes. Unhealthy coping but you got over that thought in college. Regrets were a pain in the ass and you wanted none so you did what you wanted.

 As you were walking towards your apartment building you couldn’t help but think about this case. Your team was way on the edge when they received word about it. They were silent about it and that scared you. Because, even if you only knew them for 4 months, you knew all of them were loud, outspoken and chaotic. Your head always throbbed at the end of the day. But you almost missed that today because instead of debates and childish arguments, this day was extremely tense and everyone seemed to be at each others throats out of silly things. As if they disagreed on something you had no idea about. It felt as if a powerful untouchable presence was messing with them and it saddened you but it also stirred your curiosity. Who or what was doing that? 

You were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice the person walking right in front of you and you bumped into them dropping your cigarettes in the process and almost dropping your beer but you managed to catch it before it hit the ground. 

’’I’m really sorry. I wasn’t paying attention…’’ you said as you immediately bent down to pick up your cigarettes but the stranger beat you to it.

’’It’s fine.’’ he answered in a low pleasant voice and started walking away. 

WITH YOUR CIGARETTES.

It took a second for you to register what happened and move. He walked away so casually that it pissed you off.

’’Heyo.’’ you said while grabbing his shoulder and making him turn to you. He was tall, well built with medium length long brown hair and green eyes. He was wearing an open black coat with a black cotton sweater and light blue jeans with a pair of some black and white Nike shoes. ‘Well damn’ you thought, ‘this theif is hot as fuck’. But priorities were priorities. You were going to offer him a piece of your mind. And if needed, a piece of your very basic physical training. 

He first looked at your hand on his shoulder and then at you with a total lack of interest. Without any facial expression he asked:

’’What?’’

You took your hand off his shoulder and attached it to your hip in a somehow sassy position. Then with the other hand where you held your beer, you pointed at the cigarette pack he held.

’’Give me back my ‘candies’...Stealing is a crime, jerk. Instead you could’ve asked for a few. I would’ve... ‘’

But he didn't seem to pay attention to you anymore as he looked at something behind your figure. He started walking, right past you to the spot where you bumped into him.

You were speechless. You debated a moment if you should chase him again but you decided as soon as you remembered you didn’t have any money on you anymore to buy a new pack. You turned with a determined look on your face. He was picking something from the ground and as soon as you got close to him, right before opening your mouth, he held out his hand to you, holding a pack of cigarettes. He had another one in the other. And then you realised and your face started to redden. ‘Shit’

’’I have my own ‘candies’ though it seems they are the same as yours.’

You grabbed your cigarettes slowly while touching his hand in the process. You got a chill down your spine. This time his eyes were fixated on you and all the courage from earlier was down the drain. You were embarrassed of course but the way his direct look intimidated you was surprising. Your gut was telling you something but you couldn’t quite understand it. You were busy staring right back into his cold green eyes. He looked away first and sighed. 

’’Well, if this is done, goodbye.’’ and walked away from you for the third time in 5 minutes.

Somehow that didn’t sit right with you. Your brain was telling you to just walk slowly home and finish the work you had left for today, take a shower and start everything again tomorrow, while your body was already chasing the long haired man, adrenaline pumping through your veins. You told yourself you just wanted to apologise for calling him a jerk but the truth was there was something invisible pulling you in his direction. Maybe it was your toxic curiosity or the silly fact that you two were smoking the same cigarettes, an old brand that made you forget things that screamed in your head constantly, or perhaps it was just the simple fact that he was a handsome stranger. Who knew? The only thing you knew was that you were a fool. But that never stopped you before. 

’’I’m sorry! I never meant to insult you….I should’ve just looked around...Usually I’m not such an airhead. I wonder how come I didn’t notice another pack on the ground.. heh.’’ you said while reaching him. You guys were walking in the same direction anyway. He didn’t say anything, he just looked straight ahead not really paying much attention to you but he also didn’t seem bothered by your presence.  As you reached a crosswalk and waited for the colour to change you watched his profile as discreetly as you could. He looked as if he was completely lost in thought but at the same time aware of everything surrounding him. He was close but far and that really tickled your brain. You groaned internally. 

‘I shouldn’t care, he is just a stranger whom I’ll never see again. Asking him for a coffee out of the blue would be weird too.. And he seems to be completely uninterested in my existence anyway, though I guess that is mostly because of my bloody pyjam..’

’’So what’s up with that pyjama?  he said out of the blue.

’’I don’t like to assume things but if you’re following me because you want to ask me out or something I think you might be my best friend's soulmate. He has the same Star Wars pyjamas.’’

Your mouth was hanging open. You looked down at your clothes and then back at him. He was watching you now as well. The light changed and he started walking as you followed.

’’I live on the other side of the road and this is what I usually wear at home, so no, I don’t really bother dressing up for a trip to the grocery store. And I’m just going home, I’m not following you..’’ 

You bit your lip as you hesitated before continuing wondering if you should say what you were going to say.

’’...and I also have a ..boyfriend.’’

You two reached the other side of the road and he suddenly stopped.

’’You’re lying.’’ he said calmly

Both of you stopped walking. You looked at him wide eyed. How could he know you were lying? He sounded so sure too. His expression seemed to change for a second when he saw your confused face, some sort of realisation hitting him while he shook his head.

’’Nevermind.’’

-He stepped closer to you and tilted his head, a few stray strands of hair falling randomly on his face. This guy was handsome, annoying but handsome. Even his skin seemed to have a special kind of glow, besides the fact that it was a beautiful tan colour and the combination with the kind of green/teal eyes that he had left you almost breathless in close proximity. Of course you lied. What boyfriend? You were working most of the time and you studied people for a living so of course you were overthinking everything about any guy that came your way. You either figured them too fast and they bored you or you didn’t even look their way. You were not easy to deal with either as you had a very straightforward personality on the outside but on the inside you were trying to keep everything from collapsing. You were confusing, caught between being intimidating, bad mouthed and weird or depressed and minding your own business in silence...and those moods were not exactly any guy’s cup of tea. 

So lately you always try to play the sweet girl card when it comes to guys, hiding your trust issues for another day. But this time you were not in control...of anything. It wasn’t even a big deal, really.

 You were just talking to a stranger. But his presence was dominating you effortlessly. And for some sort of reason you couldn’t even start to figure out why. Your brain was foggy, your breathing was irregular and your knees were suddenly weak when he got close to you.

‘What in the Twilight..’ you thought

You couldn’t read him while he seemed to have no problem reading you. And that bothered you the most.

’’You should go home..’’ he spoke in a lower, raspier voice ’’..I’m not as interesting as you might think. I’m a simple guy actually.’’

His words seemed so honest, his tone too. But something told you that he lied. Or that what he said might have been true. Once. But not anymore as his eyes didn’t meet yours when he spoke the last part.

You tried to ignore the sensation that formed in your stomach when he spoke so close to you in that voice that seemed to echo inside your head. You were getting a little lightheaded and for a moment you thought about the possibility of being physically sick. In this case this would've been the better scenario.

 ‘I should just go. Ignore everything about the way I feel now as if nothing will ever be boring again. Yes, I should ignore the fact that I don’t need to pretend because there is no point in doing so in front of this person. They see through me anyway. But that’s a bad thing and I’m not thinking clearly right now and he screams ’Stranger Danger’ and for God’s sake I work with the police...What should I do..His eyes are so pretty, his voice is so beautiful and I’m just a curious superficial fool.’

You took a breath and turned around while his eyes never left you. You started walking towards the entrance of your apartment complex and with every step your heart started beating faster and louder. Your ears were captivated by a weird inner buzz. You bit your lip and clenched your fist, your nails actually hurting the skin of your palms. 

‘Don’t do it. Don’t do it.’

But in a swift motion you turned around, fear, excitement, some sort of distorted happiness and an unusual laughing sensation taking over you.

’’Come upstairs for a coffee, Stranger-Danger?’’

His eyes were still on you when you turned around. After you finished your sentence he covered his mouth with a hand. He might have laughed at the nickname, you guessed. But he came anyway.

Later on you would come to realise that you saw something flickering in his cold eyes when you turned around. A cunning fire that hid behind that wall of ice. Who knows..?

It might have just been the fact that this was exactly what he was waiting for all along. 

But there was no coffee upstairs. 

The moment the elevator doors closed you started kissing, like there was an unspoken agreement that this was going to happen exactly then. The kiss wasn’t rough as you would have expected it to be, it was gentle just as a declaration or an apology. But that soon changed as both of you became consumed with each other. The kiss became meaner from both of your sides, egoistical, as if both of you were trying to steal more from each other than the other did.  He caressed your cheeks and then his hands travelled to your neck where he felt your skin and your pulse. His hands were cold but the touch of his fingertips on you felt as if it burned your skin, leaving scars even if there were none. You held on to his coat while he pushed your back against the wall. After you stopped kissing, he licked his lips and looked into your eyes. You looked back. Nothing said. He started kissing and biting your neck.

When you entered your apartment clothes started flying left and right and while kissing him, between undressing and tugging at each other's clothes , you could only be thankful that you were wearing the ‘good’ underwear you still had on and not some panties with silly patterns you usually wore at home. Somehow you two reached your bedroom but you had no idea how because you were blind to mostly anything around you but him. He picked you up, your legs now straddling his waist as he walked and you could feel his muscles. His body was very well defined, strong arms,abs and everything, beautiful large shoulders and prominent collar bones. ‘Weird’ you thought...because he didn’t  really seem like he worked out. His body looked as if it developed naturally this way. You only saw that at the guys working in your department when they trained, the girls too. Their body developed over the years thanks to all the training.

 For a second your mind wandered to what he did for a living.

You didn’t know anything about him... but the way his lips tasted, the way he smelled so fresh yet intoxicating, the way he made you so dizzy when he stared into your eyes, those things left you unwilling to think about anything else besides the feeling of his body on yours. You were drowning in him, his presence overwhelming you. The way you two moved against each other felt like a feverish dream in which you were dancing. He was leading and you could only stare into his eyes even though you knew this wasn’t like you at all. 

He was far too intoxicating to be your type, and he was far too in control for you to be his. 

While he laid you on the bed gently his hands traced mindless patterns on the skin of your legs moving higher and higher towards your thighs where he started to grab your flesh making you groan. He was either teasing you or enjoying feeling every inch of your body. He started kissing your inner thigh, sucking, licking and biting his way up to your core.

’’You’re going to leave marks.’’ you said breathlessly

He raised his head from between your legs  and with a teasing but cold voice he said:

’’Is that a bad thing? Your ’boyfriend’ won’t mind.’’

Your face started to redden at the mention of the ’fake boyfriend’ and you opened your mouth to protest but in a quick motion he reached your face and kissed you. He was trying to shut you up by kissing you ruthlessly, biting your lips and sucking on your tongue. You couldn’t get a break and when you wanted to fight back he was kissing you even harder. 

He only stopped when he ran out of breath. You wanted to retort something again but he beat you to it. Between pants of air he said:

’’You sure like to talk a lot don’t you ?...But I guess I’ll drink you anyway.’’

He effortlessly tied his hair in a messy man-bun that fit him weirdly well. The lights were off in your apartment but the street light coming from your bedroom's window was highlighting all the right parts of his silhouette. His abdominal muscles, his strong thighs, the movement of his arms as he fixed his hair, the veins on his arms, his slender but strong neck, his jaw, the right side of his face, his lips, his straight nose, his green eyes who looked directly at you without giving you a break. You were done talking now. 

He slowly leaned over your naked torso while still maintaining eye contact and you could feel his warm breath on your skin. He watched you as if he was silently asking if you’re not backing away so you just nodded, ashamed of the fact that you were more excited than embarrassed. It was what it was. Your mind was fuzzy and your body was needy. And he intrigued you. However that was the part you chose to snooze for now.

He started kissing all over your breasts in a soft manner but eventually he transitioned into biting and teasing all over them, especially your nipples. You began slowly moaning because of the sensations that were overwhelming all your senses. He was only teasing your body but you were already melting. When he started placing wet kisses on your abdomen, going lower and lower, you squeezed your legs together and he felt it so he grabbed and squeezed on the side of one of your tights just to let you know that he was aware of the power he had on you.

When he finally reached your most sensible part you arched your back at the sensation of his tongue. Sure, you had sex before but it was almost always dry and this was also the first time someone went down on you. Like they knew exactly what they were doing and where to touch specifically. It was as if he knew what you wanted without even knowing you. It was strange. Suspicious. Addicting. Dangerous.

 He trailed his fingers against your back while he ate you out. You were putty in his hands, your body flushed and high on the way his mouth felt. He teased your clit mercilessly, over and over, until you came multiple times. The good kind of torture.

As he slowly entered you he started groaning and placed your hands on his shoulders. You moaned at the sensation of being filled. It felt just right, as if your bodies just ‘clicked’ in every way. He grabbed your face with his hands while he started thrusting.

’’Just... hold on ...to me and... relax.’’ he told you between groans and sighs

You nodded rapidly, not really caring about anything anymore besides the pleasure and relief you were seeking. Your bodies were rocking in sync with each other, both of your pulses skyrocketing with every increase in pace. He was thrusting faster and harder now. Your hands were not on his shoulders anymore but outstretched above your head, his strong ones holding them pinned to the bed as he was losing himself in the sensation of you.

You two fucked as if both of you were running away together but from different things. When both of you reached your high his eyes seemed to light up when he looked at your face consumed by his presence. For a few seconds, while he lost control and pleasure overwhelmed him, you felt as if you saw someone else, still him but different. A real fire seemed to burn in those eyes during those moments but you only gazed at it a little bit and it was gone, replaced by that wall of ice that effortlessly unnerved you.

He collapsed next to you as both of you caught your breath.

You two sat in silence not feeling the need to talk, His fingers were mindlessly drawing battens on the back of your palm. You liked that. Somehow it warmed you. You turned your head in his direction. He was watching the ceiling and you could swear his expression was a little warmer now but something still felt melancholic about it. He turned his head and looked back at you. You really tried to memorise the way his upper lip was more prominent than the lower one, the way his eyes had such a nice, kind shape yet they looked at something beyond what you knew, the way his skin had such a pleasant warm tone, the way his hair fell on his face. 

Your eyelids started to become heavy. You were tired but you tried to fight off the request your body and mind had regarding some rest. You really wanted to say something before you fell asleep so you mumbled in a sleepy voice.

’’..The more I look at you...the more...I don’t see you...smoking...I don’t know..why...tho..’’

Your body became heavier and your eyes were slowly closing. The only thing you saw before drifting into the dream world was the faint image of a smile on his face. 

‘’I don't.’’ he said 

You woke up late the next day and he was gone, as if everything was nothing but a weird illusion. You pushed away the feeling of disappointment, told yourself to grow up and forget last night and took a shower, ate breakfast, dressed up for work in some brown dress pants, a white sweater and some dark red leather heels, grabbed your jacket and bag from the hanger and left for work.

‘I was right. He is a fucking jerk. He didn’t even leave a note or something. I don’t even know his name..but I guess it doesn’t matter. We’ll never see each other again.’

 You sighed.

You had more important things to do and worry about. How were you going to tell your boss, or The Captain as your crew called him, that you forgot the file you promised to look over, at work and you had no idea what the case that was assigned to your team and that was stressing everyone out, was about.

’’Captain Levi is going to beat the shit out of me..’’ you said out loud as you entered the building...even so...something bothered you as you could swear you placed the file inside your bag yesterday. You usually double check everything anyway.

You entered the HQ of the Survey Unit, your and your team’s unit and said a quick ’’Hello’’ to Jean, Sasha and Connie who were drinking coffee around Jean’s desk while discussing something intense. 

’’Hey, L/N...What is with the panicked attitude? Come drink a coffee with us and stop acting like the sky is going to fall. Need help with something ?’’

You took off your jacket and reached your desk. Nothing besides your cactus and your agenda that you usually left at work. The file was not here either. Hell. Your mind started going into overdrive.

’’The sky is actually falling Jean...and I’m the fucking sky.’’  you said while facepalming. How could you possibly lose the file?? A file with confidential police information.. You bent down and started searching for it under the desk but it was clear it wasn’t there.

Sasha was unpacking one of her sandwiches as Jean and Connie were both looking at you with a confused expression on their face. But their attention switched to Mikasa and Armin who entered the doors while being surrounded by a gloomy atmosphere. Mikasa looked as if she lost weight in the last two days while Armin’s dark circles were obvious testimonies of a sleep deprived individual. Jean and Connie went over to them discussing something you couldn’t hear while Sasha came in your direction. 

’’This really takes a toll on all of us...but I really pity Mikasa the most...I guess you read the brief details about the case...Having to arrest one of our own, someone who betrayed us and is also her step brother … Man..I would be stress eating like crazy..I still do it.. but anyway.’’

You snapped your head in her direction.

’’What? Mikasa has a brother?’’

Sasha raised a brow while chewing her food.

’’Yes. Though they are not related, she was adopted into his family when her parents were killed. His parents died too after a few years and they had to survive, together with Armin who was in the same situation. He and Armin had been best friends ever since they could remember. He betrayed us a year ago and went rogue...but we never knew how far he went.. The Military Police assigned him to us. I’m sorry... We never really spoke about this because it’s a sore subject…You must be confused.. Huh?’’

You were speechless. You never knew that. Not a single word about it. But you always that something was missing however you kept your silence about it. 

’’Why would the MP assign him to us? It’s cruel and it doesn't make sense..’’

Sasha shrugged and said:

’’My guess is that they need Cpt.Levi to catch him. After all, he trained him. The MPs are big mouthed but they were never able to tame Eren.’’

You raised a brow. ’’Eren?’’

Sasha nodded. 

’’Yeah, that’s his n….Y/N did you know you have something stuck on your bag?’’ she asked while pointing at the black bag you owned. It looked like a post it note.

‘What the hell..?’ 

You picked it up and noticed something written on it. The writing was a little bit messy and squarish.

’’MEETIIIIING!’’ screamed Hange from the conference room

 Sasha went ahead: ’’I’ll see you there. Hurry up.’’

The words written on the note were: ’’I’m sorry. You’re a kind person. Thank you.’’

There was no name but you knew it belonged to the stranger you met last night. You started breathing heavily.  It wasn't the fact that something felt off about the note but where it was placed. On your bag. 

The FUCKING FILE was IN the bag.

In your mind a memory flashed suddenly. 3 months ago, after working hours the whole team went out for some food and drinks. You and Armin discussed your favourite movie series. You froze while remembering the crucial detail of that conversation.

’’It’s kind of embarrassing but I even have pijamas with Star Wars..’’ Armin said while his face flushed red.

You placed a hand on your mouth remembering a part of last night’s events.

’’.. I think you might be my best friend's soulmate. He has the same Star Wars pyjamas.’’

’’L/N! Move it!’’ Cpt Levi’s voice snapped you out of your daze. 

You started walking shakingly thinking over and over again about the possibility of this all being a coincidence..but when you entered the conference room and saw the screen, your blood went cold.

 /Runaway-Eren Yeager/ Accusations / Terrorism/ Multiple Murder Acusations/ Insubordination/ WANTED/ Dead or Alive/

And right to all these accusations was the picture of a younger version of the guy you met last night.

Your ex-colleague.

You looked at the note in your hand. 

It made sense right now. He used you right from the start.

You felt like laughing but you sat down next to Jean, trying to compose yourself and paying attention to what your Capitan was saying. 

In your mind only one phrase kept repeating itself.

You just fucked the enemy.

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That was my first ever smut scene...Am I going to hell yet? haha

[minmotl]

Chapter 60-61: Tang Fan Gets Blisters on the Insides of His Thighs, Sui Zhou Asks Him to Take Off His Pants

Context: Sui Zhou and Tang Fan (and their respective teams) embark on their journey to He Nan Province. Tang Fan ended up having to bring along Yin Yuan Hua, one of the officials in Tang Fan’s department who he bested, and whose supervisor/shifu in the same department Tang Fan offended (for good reason!). Yin Yuan Hua’s mission on this trip is to gather evidence of Tang Fan’s wrongdoings/mistakes so he can go back and report him to higher-ups, and hopefully this will end in Tang Fan’s demotion.

Also a Note: I’m doing the first half of 61 for context (because the case is pretty complex plus all the new characters lolol) and the second half of 61 where the cute fanzhou moments are, but from now onwards Tang Fan and Sui Zhou are hanging out with each other like 24/7

AMAZING TIDBITS:

Pants stripping

Sexual innuendos

Tang Fan and his tongue licks Sui Zhou’s finger

Sui Zhou feeding Tang Fan pastries

Fanzhou shares a bed XD

Introduction Post | Masterpost

—

Highlights under the cut

Tang Fan and the rest of them set off from Jing City, and head in the direction of He Nan Province on land.

Sui Zhou left Xue Ling back in the Northern Administrative Court to hold the fort, and he himself, along with Pang Qi included, brought along 20 close guards. With Tang Fan, they head south, tasked as an imperial convoy.

Although this case is hardly the most urgent, it involves the life and death of others and also the robbery of royal and imperial tombs, so there is no time to waste. Everyone began the journey riding horses, but after rushing on the roads for two days, the disparity between the Embroidered Uniform Guards and civil officials slowly became increasingly visible.

The guards are a bunch of brash old men and have thick and tough skins. Moreover, after going through Sui Zhou’s hellish training, all of them have already been polished into people with bodies and bones of steel. That being said, even without Sui Zhou’s intensified training, for army officials like them, riding horses and rushing along is a simple thing to them.

The same cannot be said of civil officials, however. These officials spend most of their days in the courts and the hardest manual labour they have done is at most serving tea. Suddenly having to ride horses for two days consecutively, it feels as if their bodies and bones are about to fall apart. And what they could not say was that every one of them had blisters on the inside of both their thighs, and some of these have already burst and are bleeding. They hurt like burns.

As the formal lead envoy, Tang Fan of course has to act like the leader he is and grit his teeth in determination regardless of the circumstances. It does not take Sui Zhou long to discover that these civil officials can no longer go on, and orders the guards to slow down their pace. He also quickly takes out some ointment for Tang Fan and the rest to use on their wounds.

Since their leader can withstand this, the two officials under Tang Fan naturally are in no place to complain. Instead, it is Yin Yuan Hua who insists on not riding horses anymore and demands that they switch to a horse carriage.

The Embroidered Uniform Guards do not look upon these civil officials kindly, but they also know that their Sui-laoda has a good personal relationship with Tang Fan, and it is rumoured that this formal lead envoy is staying right in Sui-laoda’s house. 

This Yin Yuan Hua, on the other hand, is obviously not on good terms with Tang Fan, and this is easily seen when he speaks with Tang Fan, and even when he does not speak. Both of them are not on the same side, and the guards do not dare to mock the formal lead envoy, so naturally, they focus their attention and provoking remarks onto Yin Yuan Hua instead.

One of them wriggles his eyebrows, “Aiyo, someone thinks he’s out here to sightsee, and wants to even sit on a horse carriage? Does he also want a beaded curtain? Like those esteemed ladies, or wives, when they hide half their faces, and are embarrassed even before they speak!”

Another laughs snidely, “How do you know if he isn’t a little wife? Don’t tell me you’ve seen what he looks like without clothes on?”

Earlier, their group passed by a official’s relay post, and decided to stop for a rest. Tang Fan and Sui Zhou are formal lead and co-lead envoys, and wanting to interact freely, they are unwilling to share a table with their leaders even at meals, and so Sui Zhou and Tang Fan have a table to themselves. Yin Yuan Hua and the two civil officials share another, and the rest of the guards are scattered around. So once the next table speaks, Yin Yuan Hua can hear them extremely well.

How would he not know that these people are speaking about him? Fury courses through him immediately and slamming his chopsticks on the table, he gets to his feet and says, “Who are you talking about!”

It would have been better if he did not stand up, because once he gets to his feet, his thighs cramp up immediately, sending Yin Yuan Hua into unbearable pain, and this garners the mockery of the group of guards.

Although Tang Fan doesn’t think much of Yin Yuan Hua, but on this trip, he is formal lead envoy and is also Yin Yuan Hua’s supervisor. As a leader, he needs to have the aptitude of one and so he cannot just stand by and let Yin Yuan Hua be mocked like this. He uses the other end of his chopsticks and pokes at Sui Zhou’s arm.

Sui Zhou lightly coughs and his sharp gaze sweeps over his group of men, and they immediately stop laughing, burying their heads into their rice and meal.

After their meal, Yin Yuan Hua insists on not riding horses, wanting to sit on a horse carriage and head to He Nan.

Both of the other civil officials are also suffering silently, and so turn their hopeful eyes onto Tang Fan.

With a strange expression, he asks, “All of you really want to sit on a carriage?”

The officials do not dare reply, and Yin Yuan Hua interjects, “We must have a carriage. We lower-ranked officials cannot compare to daren, we don’t have to deal with the pressure which comes with the formal lead envoy position. Comfort is of importance, and we’re not afraid of being mocked by others!”

In his words is hidden mockery at Tang Fan bringing suffering upon himself, all to salvage his pride.

Tang Fan says, “We may not have enough horses at the next relay post, so once you switch to a carriage, if you regret it, you will still have to sit in it until we reach He Nan.”

The more he says, the more Yin Yuan Hua feels that Tang Fan is deliberately making things difficult for him, and so insists on sitting in a carriage and nothing else.

He has already said this much and given them a friendly reminder, but they will not listen, so there is nothing to do but to let them have their way. He asks the official in charge of the relay post to prepare the horse carriage.

The carriage itself is still considered quite spacious and has enough space for Yin Yuan Hua and two other officials to sit in. The official also found a driver for them, and once the carriage reaches its destination, it is just nice for the driver to return with it.

The three of them happily get on the carriage after seeing that the insides are padded with cushions, and this is definitely more comfortable than riding the horses.

In the end, just after they crossed several kilometres, Yin Yuan Hua and the rest suddenly realise why Tang Fan revealed that indescribable expression earlier after they insisted on sitting in a horse carriage. Because this is even more shaky and turbulent than riding a horse…

Yin Yuan Hua regrets as he finally gets a taste of what it means to strike his own foot with a rock he’s moving.

Not only just him, but both Cheng Wen and Tian Xuan, are regretting their decision immensely.

It is such a turbulent journey, and just before their souls are shaken out of their cores, they finally arrive at Gong County.

Before the group of them arrived at Gong County, the county’s magistrate had already brought his men out to the official relay post right next to the official’s travel channel early on to wait for them.

“Daren, how about you come in and rest your feet?” the county deputy, who has also come out to welcome the group, cannot help but ask the magistrate, who is pacing back and forth so much it’s making him dizzy.

Aside from the deputy and other officials, which include both low and high ranking ones, plenty of other well-known gentlemen also wanted to accompany them originally, but were all rejected by the magistrate. He is facing so many cases right now, how would he have any more energy to bring these people along and let them create trouble in front of him?

Before his trustworthy deputy, the magistrate does not hide his face full of worry, “Hai, laodi ah, it’s not like you don’t know, these envoys are not here to sightsee, they’re here to investigate a case. At the end of the day, trouble happened to the imperial tombs within my jurisdiction, and if we don’t handle this properly, I will not be able to keep this futou of mine!”

The deputy advises, “Daren, it is futile for you to be frustrated about this, you might as well cooperate well with the envoys, and then ask them for a favour so they can go back and help put in a good word for you, who knows, this huge matter may turn into a small one!”

The magistrate sighs, “That’s all I can do at this point. I’m such an unlucky magistrate, the former magistrate and the one before him left a huge mess of things when they passed on their positions, and the imperial tombs were left untouched, but these messes I still had to deal with! No one knew of my efforts, and now that the imperial tomb is involved, the responsibility for this has instead fallen onto my head!”

Which official has not been dragged into one or two terrible events, thinks the deputy. How is it possible for an official to have a smooth career all his life, it is the magistrate who was afraid of trouble in the first place, and now he is complaining about this instead of thinking about how to properly suck up to the incoming imperial envoys. What future can he count on like this?

Unfortunately he is the man’s subordinate and although these are his true thoughts, he still ends up properly reassuring his magistrate.

In the midst of their conversation, a group of men and horses approach from the distance and gradually slows down, the dust picking up around them, and behind, it looks like there is a horse carriage accompanying the group as well.

The magistrate and his deputy head out, and a minor official comes over with news, saying that the people ahead are indeed the imperial envoys.

“Quickly accompany me to fetch them!” the magistrate says, adjusting his uniform and hat.

The speed of the horse carriage is not fast and Sui Zhou’s subordinates in front seem to have deliberately slowed down to wait for the carriage at the back, and only after a minute or so does the whole group, which was already visible from a while ago, arrive.

Right in the middle of the other Embroidered Uniform Guards, a young man wearing a Rank Five uniform and an Embroidered Uniform Guard wearing a feiyu uniform are surrounded.

The magistrate quickly approaches them and offering both his hands in greeting, he says, “Gong County Magistrate He Hao Si greets the imperial envoy!”

Although he is unsure who is actually the formal lead envoy, but this greeting will certainly do no wrong.

The official document sent by the Department of Justice also clearly says that the lead envoy is the department’s overseeing langzhong in Henan’s Qing Li Si, Tang Fan, and the co-lead is the Embroidered Uniform Guards’ acting zhen fu shi, Sui Zhou. However, since both lead and co-lead envoys are here, then who is the one sitting in the horse carriage at the back?

Could it be an even more important person?

Magistrate He cannot help but look towards the back.

Instead, he sees the Embroidered Uniform Guard next to the civil official move backwards a little to put some distance between them, indicating the difference in status between him and the civil official. He opens his mouth and affirms Magistrate He’s guess, “This is Henan’s Qing Li Si langzhong, Tang-daren, and he is the formal lead envoy.”

Tang Fan wearily gets off his horse and returns Magistrate He’s greeting, “Magistrate He does not need to stand on ceremony, we have been on the roads for days, shall we first find a place to sit and talk?”

“Yes yes yes!” Magistrate He returns to himself, and hurriedly says, “This official has already readied the relay post, and also asked them to prepare food and hot water. I’d like to ask everyone to move into the city, it is not far away from here.”

Tang Fan nods, “Then I’ll have to trouble Magistrate He to show us the way.”

***

“Come over here.”

Tang Fan takes a look at the ointment in his hands, and cannot help but laugh, the sound dry, “You see, I’ve used the bandages for so many days, it’s almost healed, so I don’t need to put it on anymore, it’s uncomfortable!”

Sui Zhou’s face is cold, “Come over when I tell you to come over, whether or not it has healed, wouldn’t you know best?”

Of course he has not yet healed.

Tang-daren’s face falls, and he slowly ambles his way over.

“Lie down, take off your pants and pick up your shirt.”

“…”

No matter the circumstances, this conversation sounds only too intimate, and if anyone were to pass by on the outside, it’s likely they will misunderstand, but the reality could not be further from that.

Tang Fan’s physique is not much better than Yin Yuan Hua and the rest, and he has ridden on a horse for so many days consecutively. Naturally, he is unable to withstand this, but sitting in a horse carriage is worse, and he knows that just by seeing the way Yin Yuan Hua threw up. In comparison, it is only his butt and the sides of both his thighs that hurt riding the hose, and not his whole body. Weighing between both to see which is more important, as the biggest lead in this mission, Tang-daren would rather suffer than lose all pride like the way Yin Yuan Hua did.

This is called suffering as one would rather die than lose pride and face.

The posterior is one thing, as it is shaken here and there; the area is a bit thicker, so it doesn’t matter as much. The main thing is the insides of his thighs, which has been subjected to endless friction and movement in contact with the horse. Blisters formed, and then bled when the skin was broken through.

It is a must to put some ointment on if he is hurt, and in the beginning, Tang Fan was worried of losing face, too embarrassed to ask for help, until Sui Zhou forcibly restrained him to put the medicine on.

Now, having to put on a fresh round of ointment every night has become something that Tang-daren is most reluctant to do.

If he could choose, he figures he would rather go to the Luo River and warmly face the River God there, than to lie flat on the bed like this with both legs spread open, his pants taken off and his shirt picked up, letting Sui Zhou change the bandages around his injured parts.

Although they are both men and the parts he should have, he has, and the parts that he should not have, he does not have, but Tang Fan just feels incredibly uncomfortable. Staring at the ceiling above him, he disassociates, only to hide his embarrassment.

Sui Zhou seems to be able to see through his thoughts and finds it really hilarious inside, but on the surface, he retains his stoicism. Circling the bandage around Tang Fan’s legs, he pretends to accidentally brush his eyes past Tang Fan’s groin, peering at it for a moment, before saying, “The form is not bad.”

Even though Tang Fan is pretending to be dead, he is still conscious and attentive, and the moment the other’s words sound in his ears, he cannot help but go red in both his face and ears, and furious, he says, “How dare you, assessing the lead envoy like this, do you not want to live anymore?”

Sui Zhou goes ‘oh’, and then, “I am an envoy too.”

“You’re a co-lead, and I am the lead, cut out the nonsense, you should strip and let this official assess yours as well!”

Sui Zhou, “You are certain you want to see?”

“Of course!”

He thought Sui Zhou would come up with an excuse to refuse, but who knew the other simply stands up without another word, and reaches out to loosen his trousers belt.

Tang Fan hurriedly says, “ Forget it, forget it, I know you’re smaller than me, if your ego takes a hit later this is not good, all men want to save face, so I will go easy on you this once.”

“No matter, I do not mind,” Sui Zhou returns.

“…”

Sui Zhou only wants to tease Tang Fan, he is not this despicable. And seeing that Tang Fan is about to explode in anger, Sui Zhou goes with the flow and stops. He brings a plate of pastries over from the table, picks up one, and personally brings it to Tang Fan’s mouth.

Under the dim glow of the candle light, Tang Fan cannot see the shape of the clear jujube cake, but the flavour as it enters his mouth is extremely good. Sour and sweet, and for a moment, it is a familiar taste to him, similar to the one the cooking lady at home made when he was younger.

He cannot help but curl his tongue, reaching for the rest of the pastry piece, only to sweep across Sui Zhou’s finger accidentally. The other freezes slightly, and snatches his hand back quickly.

Tang Fan does not take this to heart, and instead squints as he fully savours the flavours on his tastebuds. He nods, and praises, “The pastry that Deputy Zhao chose is really not bad! It is a pity this place is filled with evil, and such good pastries are wasted here. We may have to start rushing about sometime in the middle of tomorrow night!”

Sui Zhou gets him to wear his trousers properly, and bends down himself to adjust the bedsheets and covers. He asks, “You saw something amiss?”

Tang Fan shoves another piece of jujube cake into this mouth and instead of answering him, responds with a question, “You can see it too?”

“Don’t eat too much, or you won’t be able to sleep later,” Sui Zhou frowns and nags. Then, “That old man seems suspicious.”

Tang Fan nods, and opens his mouth, about to speak, but because the cake slides into his throat, he ends up almost choking to death. He brings his hand up, holding onto his throat and the whites of his eyes can be seen.

Exasperated, Sui Zhou goes over to pat at his back, then gives him a cup of tea, “How did you actually survive the past twenty years?”

Drinking the tea and sending the cake down along with it, Tang Fan finally heaves a sigh of relief before laughing, “A menace like this official will naturally be alive for a thousand years. That old man is indeed suspicious, and although he seems incoherent when speaking, it does look more like his behaviour is deliberate.”

Sui Zhou makes a noise of assent, waiting for him to continue.

“There are a few possibilities. Firstly, those people were killed by the old village chief, but this isn’t very likely. I can’t think of a reason why he would kill all these people. Besides, he is a weak elderly, so unless he had some help, it is impossible for him to harm so many people. So let’s set this possibility aside for now.”

“Second, that old man, or even the whole village, are in cahoots with the tomb raiders, and are doing all they can to mislead us, directing us to focus on the possibility of a malevolent ghost. Maybe after the robbers raided the imperial tomb, they promised to distribute some of their loot to the villagers in exchange for their help in keeping this a secret. The people who were killed discovered this, and wanted to report them.”

Tang Fan slowly analyses that hypothesis, then shakes his head, “But this is not fully explainable. The clues that we have on hand are too little, it is very difficult to guess what the truth is.”

“There’s still one more possibility,” Sui Zhou says.

Tang Fan looks at him, and he continues, “What the old man said is true.”

“You believe in ghosts too?”

Sui Zhou shakes his head, “It might not be a ghost, but it could be something else. Whether the old village chief has truly gone insane or is pretending to be, he is definitely hiding something from us, and has not told us everything.”

Tang Fan laughs, “We tried the civil, courteous route first, and next can bring out the troops. It looks like we have to get the Embroidered Uniform Guards to take over.”

In terms of interrogations and forcibly getting confessions, there is no other group of people more adept at this than the guards. When people hear of interrogations, they often think of cruel torturous methods, but in actual fact, a lot of other methods exist in this world which will make one obediently vomit out the truth without any physical torture. These methods are most commonly used on officials who refuse to speak the truth and yet cannot be subjected to torture; a secret that is passed only within the guards and is unique.

Using it against an old man in a poor and removed village, is considered using a blade that is made for slaughtering cows, to slaughter a chicken.

Sui Zhou says, “We’ll talk tomorrow and rest now.”

Yes, it is almost the hai hour (9-11pm), and they naturally must rest.

It is quiet outside, not even the slightest sounds can be heard from livestock or dogs, and all living creatures have also descended into sleep. Saying it is entirely silent, however, is not correct. At the very least, the Luo River which is a short distance away continues to flow, day or night. The rush of water charging forth fills up their ears, but once one gets used to listening to this, it does not bother them much. Instead, it almost feels as if their troubled thoughts are being scrubbed clean by the river.

The bed space is not cramped or narrow, and is more than sufficient for two people to lie on it. Tang Fan sleeps on the inside, and Sui Zhou sleeps on the outside.

Although the both of them stay under the same roof, they have never slept shoulder to shoulder like they are doing today, previously. The both of them are really too tired, but sometimes, when one is too exhausted, it is instead more difficult to fall asleep.

Sui Zhou hears Tang Fan’s tossing and turning and says, “Turn over.”

Tang Fan does not ask why and turns over so his back is facing the other, and then he feels a warm palm cup over his jaw. Another hand slowly presses at a few acupuncture points at the back of his head.

The tension in his brain dissipates gradually, and Tang Fan moans once, comfortable. The person behind him is applying just the right amount of force, not too light, and not too heavy. He feels the pull of slumber come up as the exhaustion emerges again, and quickly enter the land of dreams.

In the middle of the night, he has a strange dream.

In it, he is walking along the dark river banks and in the vast land in the distance, many tombstones, high and low, have been erected. The wind blows past him, and along with it brings the sound of cries. The cries are devastating, as if filled with endless suffering, pain and resentment. The sound echoes in the space and then digs into Tang Fan’s ears, sending shivers down his spine.

The cries approach, coming closer and closer, closer and even closer, and suddenly, it seems like there is something behind him! The sensation is unclear to him, all he knows is that he has never felt this afraid before.

Slowly, he turns his head, and jolting, he opens his eyes.

“Don’t move,” Sui Zhou says, his voice low next to his ear, his arm stretching across Tang Fan’s waist.

Hearing his voice, the heart that was racing because of his nightmare slowly calms.

Then he quickly realises that the intolerable wails does not seem to exist just in his dreams, but is originating right from outside!

===

Notes:

*乌纱帽 wu sha mao

Also commonly called a 乌帽 (wu mao) or futou, this is the headwear for Ming dynasty officials, with a tall cylindrical top and two flaps on the sides.

*河南清吏司郎中 he nan qing li zi lang zhong

This is a full official rank. It is a little hard to find an English equivalent to this on my end so I’ve left it as that. 河南 (he nan) is a city all on its own in today’s map, and in this case it means Tang Fan is heads this particular court located in he nan. I’m not really familiar on the geography of it as well, it could just be a name for the neighbourhood or sector he’s in as well.

*镇抚使 zhen fu shi

Another official rank, where 镇抚 (zhen fu) is the Administrative Court, and 使 (shi) on its own means ambassador. In this case, it can be interpreted as chief, or some equivalent. He is not a commander yet in this case, which is a position reserved for Yuan Bin, and previously Wan Tong.

*搬起石头砸自己脚 ban qi shi tou za zi ji de jiao

This means literally to pick up a stone and smashing your own foot with it, which means inadvertently and directly causing harm to yourself with a decision you made. I left the metaphor in the translations above because it’s interesting, the imagery!

*祸害遗千年 huo hai yi qian nian

This is a common phrase used to say that a menace or evil being will survive for thousands of years, and good people are doomed to die early in a second part to this phrase.

*杀鸡用牛刀 sha ji yong niu nian

Literally means to use a blade for slaughtering a cow to kill a chicken, which also means to apply unnecessary and excessive force to a matter which requires minimal effort. Or going overboard when the matter or thing requires much lesser force.

[writtenonreceipts]

“Home stopped being a place when you entered my life” from the prompt list for rowaelin?

Oh look, I found a way to add on to runaways, hahaha! Thanks for the prompt.

Slight angst, slight mentions of mental illness/depression anxiety, brief mentions of drug use. Basked on characters from the Throne of Glass series.

where ever i’m with you

It’s midnight when she’s staring up at the sky with tears in her eyes.

She tries to convince herself that she’s never been one for dramatics.  She tries to convince herself that she’s over reacting.  Oh how she tries.

It’s midnight.  The late summer sky is wide open revealing stars and a crescent moon.  There’s barely even a chill in the air as she stands on the side of the road with her back against the driver’s side door.  But still Aelin shivers.

Her skin is crawling with goosebumbs and she doesn’t think she can feel her fingers.  Not matter how hard she squeezes her biceps; her fingers remain numb.  And she wonders why the hell she’s out here.  

Aelin wipes at the tears on her cheeks just as a car pulls up on the road behind her.  She doesn’t have to look to know who it is.  There’s only one person it could be.

Rowan slowly gets out of his car and comes toward her.  The past few months have been good to him.  Ever since he followed her back to Terrasen and that fateful road trip where she had to relive her past mistakes and horrors—Rowan has never been better. She can see it when he smiles, when he laughs.  He is genuine in the way he expresses himself now.  While still so serious and cautious—he has been able to become himself.

Aelin doubts he’s even been tempted to go back to alcohol anymore.  He’s even stopped eating so many sunflower seeds.

Her chest constricts, her palms start to sweat, and the tears continue to fall.

Rowan settles against the car beside her leaving a touch of space between them.  His arms cross over his chest, muscles rippling beneath his shirt. Aelin wonders how he knew where to find her.  Or even knew that she’d run.  Again. Like always.

“I found an apartment down on main street,” he says. “It’s only got one room with a hellish sized kitchen. But it has a view of the mountains and it’s on the top floor.  Fenrys tried to tell me he’s going to move in and be my new roommate.  I told him no way in hell would be roommates again.”

Aelin manages to crack a smile.  Fenrys is a few years younger than them and on a good day can be described as a chaotic mess of energy.  She loves the kid for it.

“Then Lorcan decided he’s going to move out here too,” Rowan continues.  His eyes are trained on the sky and when Aelin looks at him she can see the faint lines of his tattoo peeking beneath the collar of his shirt. “They’re like a bunch of lost puppies, Fireheart, I swear.”

“But you’re going to take them in anyways,” she whispers.

He looks down at her, a flicker of shock and confusion in his eyes before he smiles softly.  “Yeah.  I am.”

And they’re silent as they stand out there on an old abandoned country road.  No other cars come by, no airplanes fly overhead.  It’s just the two of them standing beneath those stars.  

Rowan finally speaks again. “Where you going?”

“I don’t know,” she admits. “I didn’t even realize how far I got until I stopped.”

As it turns out she made it about two hours outside the main city.  All that surrounds her now are trees, hills, and silence.  She only stopped because she started having a panic attack.  Worse than others she’s had before.  And with the panic attacks come the need for something to calm down.  And the only thing that gets her to calm down is Xanex or Oxy.  And she can’t go back there.

She isn’t aware of Rowan’s shift of position until he’s standing right before her.  His warm body pressing into her, blanketing the panic settling over her.  All she can feel, smell is him.  And it’s enough.  It’s enough that she can breathe evenly.  She can begin to push back on the other little thoughts that had begun to burrow in her mind.

Because Rowan is here.

She wraps her arms around him quickly, pulling him tight against her.  Pressing her forehead against his chest, Aelin breathes deeply and tells herself its going to be alright.  

Rowan is quick to respond. His powerful arms tuck around her waist, his hands flesh against her back.  It’s so comforting to her to know that they fit together so well.  Even when she was high out of her mind on their first meeting, even when she’s struggled to hold herself together—he’s always been there ready to find all her missing pieces.

Aelin can’t help the small sob that burns its way out of her throat.  She’s not even sure where it came from.  Because she’s happy.  She’s finally found a sliver of joy in her hellish life—so why can’t she accept it?

“I’m tired of running,” she tells him. “I’m so tired of running, Rowan.”

Her words are muffled against his chest, but she knows he hears her when his grip tightens and something rumbles in his chest.  His chin comes to rest atop her head as he hold her tighter.

It’s midnight as they stand there together amid a sea of stars over head and the late summer air all around.  

When Aelin pulls away from him sometime later, she finds him already looking down at her.  His green eyes are illuminated by the headlights of his car.  Aelin can see so much hidden in his gaze.  So much left out in the open.  So much of him for her to see.

“Let’s go home,” he says, trailing his fingers along her arms. “We can come get your car in the morning.”

Home.  He says it so casually.  So easily.  Like they haven’t skirted around this idea of maybe perhaps living together.  That maybe they can be domestic and in love despite how screwed up she is.  Home. He says it as though there is no place he’d rather be.

Before Rowan can pull away completely, Aelin tugs him back into her arms, pushing herself onto her toes. When she kisses him, it’s soft and careful, warm and desperate.  She’s been trying to reconcile what a relationship would be like with him when she’s anything but relationship material.

His mouth is greedy against hers as he takes her in.  His taste, his touch—all of it is enough to send Aelin over the edge.  She finds her fingers twisting into the front of his shirt, desperate to get closer to him.

When they finally break apart, breathless and starry eyed, Rowan presses his forehead to hers, his hands moving to cup her cheeks.

His lips press to hers again.  Three times more.  

Aelin sighs into his touch and keeps them rooted where they are.  She knows she needs to tell him everything that’s been plaguing her. Everything that keeps her up at night and makes her drive at random for two hours in the middle of the night but for now, there’s only one real thing that she can say.

“Home stopped being a place when you entered my life,” she says.  She flattens her hands against his chest, one right over his heart.  “It’s more of a feeling.  An idea.  And—and it’s only when I’m with you that I know what that feeling is.”

It’s midnight as he kisses her again.  He kisses away her tears.  Kisses her with a promise that they have all the time in the world.

And she believes him.

 #

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[symphonicdream]

Call to Arms

Note: This drabble contains one instance of racism. In no way do I condone racism. So, here’s your warning against it. Read at your own risk.

For those involved, you are allowed to write your version of events that happen in this drabble.

----

There was no tear of paper to alert anyone of the portal’s presence. An alleyway was what greeted them as they exited through the portal. Kamijou Touma, Maira Espoir, Bowen Chuuno, Megumi Aino, the Hunter, Violent Violet and Melanie Sinclair all stood in the alleyway. The noise of people was considerably dampened, and she knew that they would probably be overwhelmed with the amount of people walking the streets at this time of day.

It was at least 8AM, Friday morning.

Melanie took the lead, taking them out of the alleyways and to the sidewalks. This was the shopping area of her town, and it was definitely something. Populated by various men, women and children of different sizes, colours and fashion tastes, some stopped to see watch the seven of them walk by. Touma’s misfortune manifested as him tripping over a cat and falling into a teenage girl. Said teenage girl punched him with the force of a scorned woman, causing him to shout aloud and draw more attention than they needed.

Of course, Melanie had to diffuse the situation and tell them that he was a foreign exchange student here to study English while ushering him away to the group. The remark the teenager said, though, had been something along the lines of a racist remark towards both her and Touma. She’d told them “You ching-chongs should just go back to China!” and stormed off.

Ouch.

Melanie ignored it and got Touma back to the group and continued their trek to the City Hall. It was where she’d been first summoned, and she would go back. To deny that spot entirely, and to face him down. It was quiet, save for some idle chatter from Megumi and Touma as well as Maira chiming in every so often. Bowen, the Hunter and Violet were quiet, which seemed different from what she knew of Bowen and Violet. The Hunter, though? She expected that from him.

But she didn’t expect that from everyone.

The trek to City Hall was waylaid by stoplights and crosswalks. Melanie had to drag Touma back onto the sidewalk before he got hit by a car, and then had to deal with the Hunter just crossing the street and holding up traffic. People angry honked while they crossed, and some cussed them out. All the Hunter had to do was look in their direction and they suddenly quieted down. The third time, the light somehow was green when it shouldn’t have been. Melanie pressed the light changing button but no sound emitted.

It was broken.

So, yet again, the Hunter crossed the street and held up traffic. There was even a Police Car. Melanie had to explain the situation and gesture to the light while traffic was stalled. It turned into the officer getting someone on the situation and letting them off scot-free.

However, the fourth time of street crossing got a bit dicey.

The light was green and it was okay for them to cross. Unfortunately, one of the cars almost hit Touma, screeching to a stop before they hit him and honking the horn.

“Get out of the road, asshole!” Came the voice of the driver.

“Right of way!” Melanie shouted back. “You’re running a red light!”

The driver got out of the car. A burly 6′0″ man with a shaved head and who looked like he got a chip on his shoulder. Immediately, he walked up to Melanie and shoved her, causing the group’s hackles to rise as they prepared for a fight. “You wanna go, you little whore?! Huh?!”

Melanie stumbled back from the shove, before gripping her fist tight and shouting, punching towards him but the fist never connected. In a near instant, the man’s body was blown backwards by the sheer force of the punch. Standing straight, she dusted her hands off and started walking again.

“Are you alright, Melanie?” Maira asked, concerned. Melanie nodded.

“That guy was a jerk.” Megumi commented.

“He nearly hit me with his car!” Touma was still a little shaken up by that.

At least the rest of the way there, which took an hour, was uneventful besides that. When they started to approach the City Hall, Melanie stopped walking for a few minutes. Staring at the building, looking at what it looked like. As if she’d never seen it before, but she had.

“This is it. This is where he resides. Let’s go... and stay close to me.”

They walked up the staircase leading to the automatic doors, with them sliding open and allowing them to walk inside. But Melanie knew where she was going, heading to the Administration Office. As requested, her friends did stay near her and watched as she opened the door.

The world around them faded away, replaced by the corridor she’d walked down not even a few days ago. She walked down it, and so did they. It was quiet, the sound of their footsteps the only thing they heard. The corridor seemed to stretch on, but Melanie gestured at Touma.

He reached out, touching the air in front of them with his right hand. Shattering it completely and forming the door only a few feet away. She walked forward, shoving it open and being greeted with the same greenery and waterfall that had been there when she last came here.

“I thought I’d cut off all avenues to this world. It seems I underestimated your pocket dimension.” Out of nowhere, a man clad in black appeared. His long pink hair was tied back in a ponytail and he seemed almost infuriated. “What is the meaning of this?”

“I’m here to reject your offer.” Melanie said.

“Nonsense. You’ll do as you’re told and take the seat. Become my bride as I have made you to be!” The man shouted.

“I’m not becoming anyone’s bride, shitface!” Melanie shouted back. “I’m not some doll you can pull around! I’m a human being, and I’m going to be free to choose what I want to do!”

“Melanie is not your toy!” Maira said, irritated.

“She’s our friend!” Megumi pulled out her PreChanMirror and Card.

The Hunter pulled out the red gun he usually wielded, training it on the man. As soon as he fired, the man vanished and appeared behind Melanie, kicking her in the back and sending her flying into the nearby clifface. She fell backwards onto her back, and turned over to get up but was covered by rocks except for her arms and head.

The battle began at that exact moment.

“Precure Rolling Mirror Change!” Megumi was surrounded by a pink light and changed into Cure Lovely. Immediately after, she called an attack, only to be grabbed in the face and tossed aside into the river nearby. Touma, too, was quickly taken out with a knee to the gut. The Hunter started to shoot at him again, firing with precision, but the man would disappear before any shot connected. Maira summoned a bright, glaring light, which stunned him for a few moments while Bowen also began to fire on the man.

It was clear, even with the help, they were outmatched. Violet went in to attack but he avoided it cleanly. “Hmm, even bringing a God Hunter...” The man seemed to already know about her, and that was shocking. “No matter, I am not a God, so your tricks will not work.”

The Hunter moved, sheathing the red gun and holding the golden, cylindrical casing to his chest. Melanie, who was struggling to get up from under the rocks on top of her, recognized what he was going to do. The familiar magic was starting up again.

“Soil is my power!” A circular part of the casing withdrew, extending out what seemed to be a drill. Long, black blades appeared shortly after and started to turn, creating a torrent of black wind. The Magun formed from the casing, from the blackened wind, and the man turned to face the Hunter. Unlike with the others, this was new. Noting his shocked expression, Melanie realized something.

Unlike the others, he couldn’t see to Wonderland. He knew nothing about the Hunter, nothing about what he could do. And that was their advantage. After the Magun had thawed, with the Hunter saying as such, he extended out a hand, pointing in the man’s direction. She remembered this clearly. He’d used it before during her tenure in Wonderland... The Magun.

“The Soil Charge Triad to use on you has been decided!” He reached into his belt, plucking a familiar Soil from its place.

“A bladestorm of bonds, Sword Viridian.” The bullet held a teal-ish green hue in its casing, and it was easily inserted into the Magun with a resounding Click.

Maira looked over, hazel eyes widened. “That magic-”

“The squall of fortitude, Kingdom Blue.” This bullet was a shining blue, as if torn from a kingom itself. It, too, was inserted into the Magun. Click.

“And finally... A prideful gale, Warrior Platinum.” The final bullet was a silvery-white colour, shining brightly as it was placed into the Magun. The final click resounded as the Hunter aimed at the man.

Melanie reached out a hand, finding a thread and gripping it tight. A tearing sound was heard and the man’s appearance faded away to show... a demon. With spiky, long horns and a muzzle for a mouth. It was as if the man was the Devil himself. A hellish roar echoed throughout the area, causing the ground to shake.

It was nothing short of horrific.

Cure Lovely pulled herself out of the river, getting to her feet. Despite being drenched, she yet again called forth an attack. The hellish monster opened its muzzle and shot out a stream of fire at her. It was quickly intercepted by Kamijou Touma, who blocked it with his right hand. The fire dispersed after a few seconds.

“Slaughter! I summon you, Knights of the Round!” With a bang, three colours flew from the barrels of the Magun, twirling and twisting as they flew. The Knights of the Round Summon the Hunter called forth seemed to materialize from the colours, and started their assault upon the hellish being.

Melanie finally got up, the rocks falling away as she did so. The being was avoiding the attacks everyone was trying to attempt on him. Even the summon’s attacks were being avoided. It was like a strange scenario in which the only winner would be the hellish being. She shuddered to think of what would’ve happened had she taken the offer.

But her friends were in trouble.

Melanie started to run towards the hellish being. There was no hesitation as she did so. Her skin started to glow.

“BALWYSIALL NESCELL GUNGNIR TRON!!!!!” She screamed, seemingly tearing her clothes off. But no, they only just vanished to be replaced by a quick transformation with Gungnir forming. She went to punch the hellish being but he avoided her as well. And then appeared in front of her, grabbing her by the throat and starting to choke her as he raised her up into the air.

Melanie couldn’t breathe, which meant she couldn’t sing.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The sound of a clock ticking filled their ears. The world around them grayed out, and even the hellish being was surprised enough to drop her. Footsteps echoed throughout the area, and Cure Lovely was the first to speak up.

“Who-”

“How did you escape my timelock?” A voice asked. It belonged to a young woman, who looked to be about twenty-two years old. She had short black hair tied back in a half-ponytail and teal eyes, wearing a long dark blue dress and black boots. But the odd thing was, she looked almost like an older version of Melanie. The hellish being roared, but soon turned gray himself. The young woman walked up to the group, and looked at all of them.

“They call me Azem, the Traveler.” She said. “Time magic is... somewhat of a pain to use, but I’m getting used to it. Anyways, it looks like you need more help. Fellow Traveler, who are the friends you hold close to your heart?” Azem looked to Melanie, who lowered her head and closed her eyes.

“Why are you here?” Touma asked.

“I’m here to help my counterpart, of course.” Azem said. “The one born from the orchestrations of a deluded demon. She and I are cut of the same cloth. I can see a shard of my own soul within her.” A chuckle came from her, and she inclined her head. “So, Traveler. Tell me who are your friends you hold close to your heart.”

“......” Melanie nodded. “Yukine Chris, Kazanari Tsubasa, Kohinata Miku, Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel, Regal Bryant, Meteor Survivor and G’raha Tia.”

Azem laughed a little, before holding out an orange stone. “Here, Traveler. Use this and summon them forth to your side.”

Melanie took the stone, staring at it. She’d seen Meteor with this same stone once before. Hythlodaeus had given it to him, and he’d called them both New old friends. Was this because she, too, was a shard of Azem? The woman who called herself Azem smiled a bit.

“Call forth those you hold close and dear to your heart. Your allies of other worlds.”

Melanie closed her fist around the stone, holding it close to her. From where she stood, golden areas started to form. A glyph surrounded her, with eight circles that soon emitted light from them. Azem kicked the hellish being away, sending it sliding across the grayed floor. She stood straight again, looking at it before pulling out a claymore from what seemed to be thin air and assuming a fighting stance.

The lights dispersed one by one, revealing each person whose name Melanie had said before. But there was no time for introductions, as the world soon faded back to normal and the hellish being roared. Melanie handed the stone back to Azem, who pocketed it. The hellish being summoned forth demons of its own kind. There seemed to be many.

The song originating from Melanie’s Symphogear faded out, to be replaced with a different one. Chris, Tsubasa and Miku’s Symphogears did the same, once they summoned their Gears from the pendants they wore. A Unison.

One brings shadow, one brings the light Two toned echoes, tumbling through time Three score wasted, ten cast aside Fourfold knowing, no end in sight

“Let’s end this!” Melanie shouted.

The music gave way to the girls singing the song together. The hellish being roared and charged Melanie, who moved out of the way as fast as she could. Azem made a taunting gesture, causing the hellish being’s focus to be turned onto her instead. Provoking him to her. She pulled something dark out of her chest, letting it rise. A shadowy figure.

As the battle began, the sixteen of them split off into groups of four each, which meant each group had at least one Symphogear user with them. Swords swung, guns fired, magic was cast and punches thrown. Weapons were used without end, and the battle raged on without a seeming end. The Knights of the Round moved independently of the groups, helping decimate the demonic hoarde attacking them.

Melanie could feel power swelling up inside of her. She remembered this once before. Everyone could feel it. A swell of power from within them, from origins unknown. The groups fell back.

As if in the back of their minds, they all heard a shing sound. It was time to pull forth all their respective power and finish this off. Destroy this monster before it got any worse. It was like four Limit Break bars had filled up, and it was time to use them all.

A song resounded out, as if sung by all of them in their hearts. The Swan Song of the Valkyries, a song of Finé’s thoughts of causing the Curse of Babel. It resounded loud, though none of them were singing. The four Symphogear Users’ gears transformed into a different form of X-Drive. Their hair brightened with a gradient to it, and flared out. Wings made of fire expanded out, and they lost some of the clunkiness of the Gear.

Burning X-Drive. The one they’d used before, against Shem-Ha.

Glowing runes surrounded the group, and it was time.

LIMIT BREAK

The group rushed the hellish being, each one attacking with various weapons and spells. It was like a charge attack, with each person going after another. Each attack pushed the hellish being more and more towards the clifface that he’d thrown Melanie into. The Knights of the Round proceeded to pin him to it, and Melanie stepped forward.

She put both hands together, connecting the gauntlets and letting the spear form from it. She then pointed it towards the hellish being, in a form reminiscent of Elidibus during the fight at the Crystal Tower on the First. Her friends stood behind her, readying themselves for another attack.

“We are salvation given form!” Melanie shouted, and two ghostly hands placed themselves on hers. She knew who they were. Elidibus and Kanade, lending her a hand. How odd was it that an Ascian was helping her.

“Mankind’s heroes, and their final hope!” The words were foreign, coming out of her mouth, but this was true. The sixteen of them were the hope of this world. Even though they were from different worlds, they had all come together for this. Melanie delivered the final blow, empowered by her friends.

Piercing the hellish being with the cursed spear, Gungnir.

As if crumbling to dust, the hellish being lost form. Crumbled from his head to his feet, and was blown away by the wind. Melanie stood there after all was said and done, still holding the spear out. The ground rumbled and started to shake. The ceiling seemed to start to fall.

“We need to leave now!” Azem shouted. They all booked it to the door, leaving behind the battlefield they had fought on. Once outside and on the sidewalk away from City Hall, they watched as it crumbled to the ground. No one ever went there, but the people of the city stopped to watch the empty building crumble.

It was as if something changed. The world seemed to brighten up, and Melanie felt... lighter.

This was the beginning of a life orchestrated by herself alone.

--

Saying goodbye had never been her strong suit.

Melanie had opened fifteen portals, each pointing to different destinations. The worlds she’d brought them from.

One by one, they left. Each given a “see you later” by Melanie, who hoped to actually see them again. Once all fifteen portals closed after the respective person walked through it, Melanie was left with Azem. She looked to the Traveler and tilted her head to the left some.

“Do you need me to-”

“No. But before I go...” She held out the stone Melanie had given back. “I’ve learned all I can from the memories held in this stone. It’s time I passed it on to my counterpart, my fellow Traveler of the Stars.”

Melanie took the stone and put it in her pocket. “....Thank you, Azem.”

“See you again.” Azem turned away and walked off before seemingly vanishing into nothingness. Melanie was left alone, standing there on the sidewalk. She walked back towards the now-crumbled City Hall and felt no magic. It truly was over.

“So the imposter has been vanquished. Quite a feat.” The voice of the Overseer had Melanie on edge, immediately turning around to see-- a young man with long black hair and eyes that looked like they contained galaxies. Wearing just a plain graphic tee that had the Disney logo on it, slacks and velcro shoes. Nothing like the Overseer she’d seen before.

“Who--”

“I am the Overseer, Ryan.” The young man bowed. “The true Overseer. I assume this form is capable of being seen by you, as you addressed me.”

“Yeah, it is-- but why-- who--?”

“I am here to offer you the seat of God of this World. This will not change anything, though I will require you to come back every now and again. No staying away for years on end anymore.” He offered a smile. “And no, I will not be attempting to take you as my bride. You’ll find someone in your eternal lifetime, Melanie Sinclair.”

“....So, this means...” She didn’t know what it meant.

“If you take it, you will become a God. An immortal being, with powers unimaginable. And I would like you to take it, as you are the only mortal who can. The others ended up like...” He could only glance at the City Hall behind him. So, the false Overseer was a man who was once given said position? Melanie could barely believe it.

“What if I don’t?”

“Then I will wait until another few centuries. But I would like you to take it. You are compassionate, kind and do not kill without cause or reason. I did not orchestrate your birth like he did, but I have been watching. And you are currently the only one who can do this. I implore you-”

Melanie shrugged.

“At this point, I think it’s obvious if we leave it for someone else... That’ll happen. So yes. I’ll take it.”

Ryan chuckled just a bit and held out a hand. A pulse of energy emitted from it and went into her. For a few moments, nothing happened until Melanie suddenly clutched at her chest and groaned. It hurt. But she endured, and soon stood back upright. The Overseer smiled.

“Welcome to Godhood, Melanie Sinclair.”

Melanie gave a small smile. Nothing would change from here, she was just an ordinary girl with God powers now. It was just another Tuesday.

And things would remain as they were for her.

For the rest of her immortal life.

-----

@project-rebirth @tetsuwan-atom @rosecoloredmuses @kazeofthemagun @lunar-mage-mare @xbloodsoakedx

Thank you for allowing me to use your characters for this drabble!

Final Word Count: 3,701 words

[pinestripes]

Quiet Day (The Last of Us)

Summary:

The last few months in Jackson have been paradise compared to the hellish cross-country road trip that came before. But scars still run deep, and shadows can lurk around even the brightest corners. 

Ellie has a bad day. Joel wants to help.

Rating: T for a bit of language

Can also be read here on AO3 and here on FFN.

Author’s Note:

I liiiiive! Feels good to publish something for the first time in...a year, actually, as of yesterday. I've had a busy and stressful year, though I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Anyway, I just love TLOU (as much as someone who has only watched playthroughs of it can), and I especially adore Ellie and Joel's dynamic. Thank you for reading!

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Joel is a light sleeper and an early riser. The latter has been a trait of his for most of his life; the former, however, developed by necessity once not being able to jerk awake the instant something went bump in the night became a death sentence. Both of these qualities together means that he rises before the first rays of sunrise stream into his room.

He throws on stained jeans and an old shirt. Scrubbing a hand across his bleary eyes, he lumbers into the bathroom. Once done in there, he heads downstairs and to his front porch, sinking into the rocking chair there with a sigh.

He opens the worn science fiction novel he’s been making his way through for the past week or two, quickly thumbing through the brittle brown pages before finding the one he dog-eared the day before. He wasn’t a big reader, back before everything went to shit, but he had been known to pick up a sci-fi or western, sometimes even a mystery novel, every once in a while.

Joel reads in the soft morning light for half an hour or so before he exchanges the book for the guitar that has been resting by the front door. He lazily strums a few bars of a couple different songs, humming. Ellie will be awake soon, and it’s their morning ritual that when she comes down he helps her practice for a little while before breakfast.

Contrary to his expectations, Ellie doesn’t make her appearance. A familiar anxiety, one he feels less and less often the longer they stay in Tommy and Maria’s compound, clamps down on his chest. He stands and leans the guitar against the wall, the instrument making a discordant twung when he drops it less than gently in his hurry. He stalks into the house and through the barebones living room, eyes on the stairs to the second floor as his footsteps quicken and the clamp squeezes, squeezes, squeezes—

He jerks to a stop when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye. He whips his head around to peer into the kitchen. Ellie is sitting there hunched over at the table, nibbling at a piece of buttered toast.

Suddenly Joel feels a little foolish. His heart is pounding, breathing shallow and quiet. He forces himself to take two slow breaths in and out, feeling the clamp slowly release, lungs expanding and taking in air once more. Finally, he says, voice nearly steady, “There you are, kiddo. Thought maybe you were still asleep.”

Ellie startles, looking up at him with a sharp intake of breath. (He’s surprised she didn’t hear his heavy footsteps into the house from the porch, actually.) Her shoulders relax again when she sees him. “Morning,” she says and returns to her toast.

Shaking off the last of the adrenaline rush and deciding he may as well join her for breakfast, he pads into the kitchen and starts getting out supplies for omelettes, thanking his lucky stars the hydroelectric plant has been providing the town with electricity, and therefore refrigeration, consistently for the last few weeks. “What do you want in your omelette?”

She doesn’t answer.

“Ellie?”

“Hm?”

“What do you want in your omelette today? I got some more green peppers from the garden yesterday, and we’ve got some ham, believe it or not—”

“I’m just going to have the toast today.”

“That all?”

“Yeah, I’m not really hungry.”

“You sure?”

“Mm-hmm.”

He leaves it alone and goes back to making his own breakfast. Usually Ellie would be chattering up a storm by now, but when he’s nearly finished with his omelette and she still hasn’t said a word he finds himself speaking again. “So, didn’t want to do guitar today?”

Silence.

“Ellie?”

“Yeah?”

He sets the omelette on his plate and brings it to the table, taking a seat to her left. “You alright? You seem kind of out of it this morning.”

She shrugs. He notices she hasn’t made much headway on the piece of toast. “I’m fine. M’just tired. Didn’t sleep much. What did you ask?”

He quirks a doubtful brow. “I asked if you didn’t want to practice the guitar today.”

“I just thought we could...take a break today.”

He nods, and returns to eating, deciding once again not to push the issue. By the time his plate is clean she’s finishing the last few little bites of the toast. They both stand to wash their plates and utensils. Per routine, Ellie washes and Joel dries.

Concerned with the continued silence, he decides to give one last try. “So. It’s Sunday. Got any big plans?”

“No, don’t think so,” she responds.

“Not gonna go see Jessie, or, uh, Dina? Or anyone?”

“Nah.” She scrubs at a pan mechanically. “I think I’m just going to stay in and read a book.”

“Alright, then.”

They finish up, and Ellie heads upstairs to her bedroom. He goes to bring the guitar back in from the porch, then stands in the middle of the living room for a minute, feeling a little lost. Finally he sighs and heads out back to weed the vegetable garden. He can tell it’s going to be a quiet day.

Every once in a while, something—a nightmare maybe, or maybe a bandit attack, he can’t always figure it out for sure—will shake Ellie. She’ll retreat into herself, go quiet and distant. She’ll be spacy and—well, he isn’t sure what else to call it but flat. Which is decidedly not Ellie-like.

He’s learned that if he tries to push too much, if he tries to convince her to get out of the house or to talk to him, she gets cagey and defensive. So, even though he hates to see her light so dim, he gives her space and makes sure others do the same. Sometimes she’ll reach out to him of her own accord, looking to talk or a distraction in the form of a guitar lesson. She’s usually back to herself by the next day.

It’s lunchtime once he’s weeded the garden and patched up a few wobbly posts on the porch railing, a continuation of his ongoing attempts to renovate the house. He heads up the stairs and to Ellie’s door. He raps his knuckles against it twice. At her affirmative response, he opens the door and pokes his head in. “I’m thinking I’m going to head to the mess for lunch. You hungry?”

She’s laying on her bed in a loose fetal position, facing the door with a book lying open in front of her at an angle that suggests she hasn’t actually been reading it. “I’m okay.”

“You sure? You didn’t eat much for breakfast.”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Suit yourself, then.” He almost shuts the door, then remembers something else. “Hey, Tommy mentioned something about a roof needin’ fixin’ yesterday. He might try and drag me into helpin’ him with that after we eat, so it could be a couple hours before I get back. That okay?”

“Mm-hmm.”

He doesn’t worry; he knows it’ll be a few hours at least before she wants company. “Alright. See you later.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy does drag Joel into helping fix a roof, and it takes almost three hours, but he finally finds himself at Ellie’s door again.

He knocks on it, twice again. “Hey, uh...just wanted to let you know I was home.”

“Okay,” she responds through the door.

“...I’ll be downstairs.”

When she doesn’t respond, he walks away, intent on continuing his ongoing Sunday project—fixing the floor in the downstairs bedroom. He’s been replacing the busted up hardwood in the downstairs bedroom little by little on Sundays—when everyone gets the day off in town, with the exception of a regular rotation of necessary jobs like patrol duty. It gives him something to do.

When it gets close to 5:30, according to the cracked, flickering display on the oven, Joel squares his shoulders and heads back to his familiar place outside Ellie’s door.

He knocks, asking “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

He opens the door to see that she has shifted onto the floor, leaning against the side of the bed that’s facing the door, a book in her lap. He thinks she might have actually been reading it, which is a good sign.

“About time for supper. Ready to head over to Tommy’s?” Sunday night dinner at Tommy and Maria’s place is a regular part of their routine. Joel and Ellie host dinner on either Wednesdays or Thursdays, depending on the schedule.

She shrugs. “Eh, I’m not really hungry.”

Joel’s already decided that he is going to press the issue this time. She seems a little perkier, so he figures it should go over okay. “All you’ve had today is some toast. And they’re expectin’ us.”

Ellie pulls a face. It’s not as exaggerated as usual, but it’s close. “Do I have to?”

He jerks his head in the direction of the door. “Come on.”

She sighs and pulls herself up off the floor before shoving her hands in her pockets and trudging out the door. He follows behind, the twitch of a smile on his face.

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Ellie’s still quieter than usual at dinner, which earns Joel questioning looks from both his brother and sister-in-law. He just answers with a shrug and a meaningful look, which they accept, already having witnessed a few of these days before.

As they finish up their lasagna, Joel goes ahead and suggests watching a movie. He knows Ellie loves the compound’s movie nights just as much as the little ones.

“Can we?” she asks eagerly, a familiar spark flickering in her eyes.

Tommy and Maria look at each other. “Well, sure. Why not?” Maria says.

They clear the table quickly after that and select an action movie that Joel is pretty sure he caught on TV one night ages ago when Sarah was at a sleepover. The pang the thought sends through him is quick and biting, but the way Ellie bounces in her seat on the couch with anticipation helps him put the thought to rest once he recognizes it.

He takes his seat next to her. Ellie starts out resting against the arm of the couch, chin propped in her hand, but by the beginning of the movie’s second big action sequence she’s shifted to lean into his side. He adjusts so they’re both a little more comfortably settled into each other, his arm draping around the back of the couch.

Neither of them move for the rest of the movie, except for when Joel’s arm shifts to settle around her shoulders.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time the credits roll, it’s dark out. They walk through the cool fall night back to their house. Joel is glad to see that the movie night has helped Ellie perk up to her normal self. She babbles about the film’s effects and discusses the story’s various plot holes and inconsistencies. For his part, Joel mostly just listens and occasionally responds in agreement.

“I mean, what even was the bad guy’s plan?” she asks. “The bald asshole kept babbling about missiles or something, but I’m pretty sure he never actually said what they were going to do with the missiles. Right?”

“Don’t believe he did,” Joel responds.  

“And why did that one agent think going in without backup was a good idea? I mean, yeah, it was badass, but it was obviously going to fail from the beginning.”

“Don’t rightly know.”

“And for pete’s sake, why did the woman agent not have pants on for half the movie?”

“Because the people who made the movie were gross old men, probably.”

Ellie snorts. “You’re probably right.”  

They lapse into a companionable silence for a few minutes before Ellie suddenly leans over to nudge Joel’s arm with her elbow. “Hey.”

“Hm?” he questions, turning to give her his full attention from where it had been scanning the night sky—as far as he can tell, the single positive effect of the apocalypse is the decrease in pollution, including light pollution, which means the sky is blanketed in stars no matter where you are.

She sticks her hands in her jacket pockets, looking away with flushed cheeks and scuffing the heel of her shoe in the dirt before turning to look him in the face. “Thanks, Joel.”

He doesn’t need to ask what for. “Anytime, baby girl.”

[believe-that-you-can-my-friend]

Elisabeth & Noah in the origin world (2/?)

First date

He is not sure if he should text her or not.

On Monday, upon waking up with every ounce of alcohol finally off his bloodstream and after he has spent the entire Sunday recovering from the worst hangover he’s experienced since his college years, Noah is back on his reserved nature, the timid one, the one lacking the amount of whiskey-infused courage it takes for him to deal with matters revolving around human interaction, especially with women. He’s not a social outcast per se, but his confidence mostly accompanies him in the career-oriented side of his life.

It’s not like he’s not interested. He crossed the line of “interested” when he stooped to the lowest level possible, looking her up on Instagram, of all things, via Agnes’ account.

(His little sister has a long list of questions and he has a long list of brotherly favors that he promised to fulfill in exchange for her seven-digit password.)

She doesn’t have a vast presence on social media, a quality they apparently share. He keeps a long forgotten Facebook account and a professional LinkedIn one and acts blissfully ignorant towards any other platform that isn’t YouTube. Her Facebook account - oh yeah, he checked that one too - is a mix between personal and business, opinion posts about socio-politcal matters on the grounds of their country to the entirety of Europe to the endlessness of the globe and take-action events in regard to the causes she supports, occasionally interrupted by a reunion selfie with an old friend or a brunch date with her mom and her sister. That particular post redirected to some Instagram link, so, unwittingly, his curiosity was peaked.

Her Instagram account is colourful, vivid, filled with adventures and laughter. Just from an idle scroll, Elisabeth Doppler - Winden born, age twenty-four, Energy Engineer, Berlin based - can easily be perceived as someone that quite enjoys life. Her group of associates and friends seems endless and her gallery consists of photos of dinners with young professionals, pub-crawling with girlfriends, road tripping across Europe, Erasmus Programme memories, tree-planting projects, women’s rights marches, snorkelling, paragliding. Noah spends the whole Sunday afternoon feeling overwhelmed and in awe, tapping picture after picture, mesmerized by her lovely smile that adds a softer undertone to her busy bee of a life.

He finds it fascinating, her mindset and her lifestyle, but, at the same time, he fears that their personalities may clash, his more keeping-to-himself attitude the polar opposite to her seemingly outgoing one. Then, it’s also the age barrier. He thinks that thirty-two might be a little off-putting for someone in their early twenties, a decade that comes with a whole other set of expectations and milestones than the one he is currently in. The major problem, though - a chronic problem of his - is that he’s thinking too much.

Fortunately, that’s not a thing they have in common.

Elisabeth texts him on Monday morning, at 9.54 to be exact. He’s in the middle of a lecture, teaching History of Religion 101 to an auditorium filled with sleepy freshmen, when his phone screen lights up, its glow illuminating in the dimly lit room. It’s a simple “good morning” paired up with a smiling face emoji but it’s enough to cause his heart to race and his mind to short-circuit, leaving him reciting things off the projection screen without really registering what comes out of his mouth until the lesson is over. With sweaty hands and in the mist of internal panic laced with excitement, he texts her back at 10.38 an equally casual “hey, hope you’re having a good morning, too”. He beats himself up for not asking her anything the minute he presses send, like, how she’s doing, if she’s at work - literally anything, Noah, Jesus Christ, now she’ll think that you don’t care, nice work, you idiot - especially as the hours pass and there’s silence from her end. He spends the rest of the day drowning in miserable self-pity, checking his dead phone literally every minute, until there’s a new message from her, telling him that she had a very busy day at work and asking him how his day was.

(Thank God, because he was about to send her an embarrassing word vomit apologizing for having zero social skills whatsoever.)

They continue their back and forth texting for the rest of the week, casual conversations about their everyday lives turning into debates about the best places to eat and the best movies of all time to metaphysics and social justice that keep them up till the small hours of morning, Elisabeth sending him blowing-a-kiss face emoji’s for goodnight and Noah smiling like a silly teenager at his phone screen. Right in the middle of one of their more “serious” conversations, Elisabeth venting about income-based discrimination, Noah asks her out. It’s abrupt and totally irrelevant to the context of the rest of the bubbles that litter their personal chat at that moment but he can’t really help himself. She is a woman he wants - needs - to know more about, not through a screen, but in person, sit there and watch her express all the things she has in her brilliant mind.

They arrange to meet on Friday night, after she finishes work, since Noah has to attend a seminar in Dresden on the weekend and since both of them are too impatient to wait any longer. Noah arrives first at the bar she gave him directions to and decides on waiting for her outside but decides against smoking a cigarette, even though he’s itching to, out of habit and nerves. She rounds the corner barely five minutes later, strutting towards him in an electric blue pantsuit and a plaid maxi grey coat, her whole face brightening with a stunning smile when she notices him, and, just like that, everything else fades, his anxiety about their first official date, his mental fatigue after holding office hours, his insecurities, his worries and she is the only thing that exists, the only thing that matters.

A wave of panic washes over him momentarily, his inner perfectionist making a huge deal out of not having a clear plan of how to greet her. A handshake is too impersonal, a kiss too presumptuous. Ultimately, he attempts an awkward, one-arm kinda hug - which is ridiculous because a) he’s a freaking grown-up and b) her tongue has already been inside his mouth and he doesn’t recall his hands being particularly respectful the night of Jonas’ wedding, when she pushed him against a wall and stole his breath with a glorious kiss - an action she probably misconstrues as a leaning in and this results in them doing a clumsy dance right there on the pavement, but she giggles and her eyes shine with amusement, so his self-deprecating frown gives its place to a handsome smirk, when she moves closer to him and leaves a soft peck on his cheek, as a belated greeting. She smells of sensuous jasmine and intoxicating amber, her perfume aery but with a spicy twist that succeeds in stimulating all of his senses. He holds the door for her to enter and his hand lingers lightly on the small of her waist, as they make their way through the tables to the bar.

They settle on two empty barstools and order their signature drinks, Gin and Tonic and Whiskey on the Rocks. Elisabeth takes her phone out of her tote bag but before she gets to type anything, Noah holds her attention. He thinks for a moment and then makes his hands move, forming tentative gestures that lack any grace or flow but succeed in signing “It’s nice to see you. How have you been?”.

Elisabeth beams, impressed, her lips mouthing an excited “how?”. He just shrugs and shyly pulls out of his messenger bag a thick sign language book, a recent purchase of his which he’s been studying with every chance he got. Her whole face softens, touched by his sweet gesture, before she types on her phone.

That’s very thoughtful of you, thank you. Even though you shouldn’t have; apart from technology’s assistance, I’m pretty good at reading lips.

He uses his phone to reply. Yeah, I gathered that much. I just want to talk to you in your language.

The look that she gives him under her fluttering eyelashes is so tender and lovely that he can’t help but stare, a foolish grin plastered on his lips and a hot blush painted on his neck, creeping from the collar of his grey shirt.

They talk - type, to be exact, with the occasional mimic of a word or two - about everything and nothing, fast thumbs trying to keep up with their effortless conversation on the notifications’ section of their phones. He learns about her childhood in Winden, her hellish pranks to her older sister Franziska, her loving parents that separated when she was a preteen but never stopped caring about each other or being there for their daughters. She talks about her hometown friends and her honor roll high school experience, moving to Berlin to attend university and falling in love with the lively vibe of the city, getting her Master’s in Energy Engineering and recently landing her first job on the field at the Tiedemann Enterprises, a very prestige corporation in the industry of renewable energy. She’s still particularly excited about this, being part of a team of researchers thriving to improve energy efficiency based on an environmental friendly strategy.

Noah tells her about his memories as a young boy in Vechta, how he lost his mother when he was only six, due to complications while giving birth to his sister, how his father was never really in the picture after that tragic incident. How the local church and especially Sic Mundus, a church based organization for neglected children and troubled teens, contributed to his and Agnes’ well-being and education, helping him land a university scholarship and get a job, so he could afford moving his sister to Berlin, too, after he got his bachelor degree, and offering her a more stable living situation and a normal life. How, apparently, his aptitude for the humanities and his upbringing in a religious environment drove him to follow an academic career in religious studies, a field that he finds beyond interesting, especially its anthropology aspect.

Somewhere along the conversation, too absorbed into their own little world to register the fewer people in the bar and the clock ticking towards closing time, his hand, as if it has a mind of its own, slides slowly over the wooden top of the bar, her slender fingers meeting his hesitant approach halfway. They’re barely touching but it’s electrifying, the feeling of even an inch of his skin against her skin so exhilarating and powerful, like the impact of meteors colliding or the universe exploding into pieces. It feels like a Déjà vu, like a glitch in the Matrix, like they know each other from the past or recognize each other from their future. It’s a feeling both of them kept seeking, a feeling that they silently vow never to lose.

Noah pays for the drinks, despite her objections, and Elisabeth insists that, next time, the bill is on her. He smirks, a tad tipsy on the whiskey, a lot tipsy on her, and teases her that he must have done something right, because this is the first time a girl agrees on a second date with him this fast. She just shrugs, a cheeky smirk playing on her lip-glossed lips, as she types, if I left it up to you, we’d still be on the PG-13 “good morning” texts. He laughs, an effortless, loud laugh and he catches her staring - no, not staring, checking him out - the corner of her longing smile trapped between her teeth. He fights the insane urge to kiss her senseless right here in this empty bar with the bartender mentally plotting their death for keeping him past his shift.

He accompanies her to the U-Bahn station and his heart skips a heartbeat at the prospect of sharing ten more minutes with her, according to the information display over their heads. She wishes him to have fun in Dresden and he confesses that he wishes he could stay here, to spend the weekend with you, he wants to add but refrains, in fear of confessing too much too fast. Instead, he tells her that he had an amazing night and he’s so relieved and purely happy when she nods vigorously in agreement, her low ponytail bobbing lightly and her beautiful face radiating even under the harsh fluorescent light of the station. The atmosphere around them is suddenly very charged, their bodies gravitating towards each other, and their eyes engage in a stare off that speaks volumes and holds so much unresolved tension. He can hear the bright yellow train approaching and his breath quickens as he takes a brave step forward, invades her personal space, and his eyes declare defeat, falling to her lips. He’s the one to kiss her this time, a soft peck that turns into a needy battle of dominance when she melts into his arms and angles her face to kiss him more, deeper, hungry mouths dancing together in passion, his shoulders hunching over her smaller figure, his hands cradling her cheeks. Her own hands sneak under his coat and suit jacket, delivering a heavy caress over the material of his shirt before she closes her arms around his waist, Noah letting a trembling exhale into the kiss and his lips forming a lazy smirk against her giggling ones. Smugly, Elisabeth tugs lightly at his lower lip with her teeth, a naughty essence to the playful action, and this fuels another round of heated kissing, their bodies pushing and pulling, their heavy PDA a thing they’ll be embarrassed for in the morning. For tonight, though, they’re just two people getting drunk on each other in the middle of a train station, as if tomorrow will be the end of world and they’ll cease to exist.

When they pull back for air her lips are lipgloss-free and her eyelids, still closed, are fluttering over scarlet cheekbones. Noah has never witnessed a most beautiful sight in his life.

Elisabeth gets on the train with a dazed and dazzling smile, promising to text him when she arrives at her apartment. They refuse to let go of each other’s eyes until the train vanishes into the dark tunnel and Noah is left there, on the empty station, a finger reaching to his lips, not quite believing that the fruity taste of lipgloss that still lingers in his mouth or the woman whose lips left their trace behind are real and not a product of his wildest fantasies. There’s an extra hop in his steps as he walks up the stairs to catch the train to the opposite direction, boarding the vehicle at the last minute and sliding quickly on a seat, lovesick smile intact and a newfound feeling of contentment and thrill nested in his chest.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and types, unable to wait any longer.

I get back early on Sunday. Would you like to have dinner with me?

[elementalwriter67]

The Void Chapter Twelve

Word Count: 4079

Pairing: (Eventual) Jason Todd x Reader

Tag List: @wittedhat, @clea-nightingale, @undertheredhood, @reclusive-chicken-nugget, @grey-water-colors, @jasonlovertodd, @ximaginx, @lexythedepressy, @e-bendy

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7a, 7b, 8, 9, 10, 11

Summary:  The Void is a hellish place filled with screams that echoed throughout the place at all the hours of the night, and where pain is a very close friend. You’ve spent your entire life in the Void, having been there since you were ten and you’ve just recently gotten a new cellmate… Who’s a little more hopeful than you are that either of you are going to make it out of this place alive. Though you have to admit that maybe his hope is rubbing off on you because you slowly find yourself hoping that the two of you do get out of here.

“Maria! Samantha! Oh it’s been too long since I’ve seen the two of you! How have you two been?” Selina exclaimed as she stood up from her seat in the outdoor cafe a large smile on her face as she made her way over to Barbara and Kate as they walked up to her. 

“I’ve been good, how’s the family? How’s dad?” Barbara asked as she hugged Selina. As the two of them hugged, Selina scanned the crowd behind the both of them before letting go of her and moving towards Kate and pulling her into a hug as well. When Selina was certain that there was nothing behind the two of them she pulled away from Kate and held on to her shoulders smiling widely at her. Nodding her head just slightly Selina let go of Kate and moved back to her seat. 

“Oh the family’s doing well, we had a little scare with grandpa last week while he was at the grocery store but that turned out to be a false alarm but it put your father more on edge than he already has been with your grandfather’s health but what can you do?” Selina said with a shrug of her shoulders as she sat back down in her chair crossing one leg over the other as she picked up her cup of coffee from the table. 

“Have you-” Kate cut herself off as she looked towards the waitress who was walking towards them with a smile on her face. 

“Hi, I’m Cathy. I'll be your server for the evening. Is there anything I can get the two of you?” Cathy asked as Barbara and Kate sat down. Kate and Barbara shared a look before Barbara grabbed the menu and quickly scanned it as Kate looked back at Cathy. 

“I’ll take a black coffee, with no sugar please.” Kate said and Cathy nodded as she jotted down her order before looking up at Barbara. 

“Aaaaannnnndddd I’ll have a chamomile tea with a chocolate scone please.” Barbara told her as she returned the menu to its spot in the middle of the table, flashing Cathy a quick smile. 

“Alright, I’ll get that stuff right out for you.” Cathy stated as she tucked her order pad into her apron and walked away. Kate waited until she was sure that Cathy was out of ear shot before focusing on Selina again.

“Have you guys heard anything from J since he went on that road trip of his?” Kate asked and Selina shook her head a worried expression flashing across her face before it was replaced with an easy relaxed look. 

“No we haven’t heard anything from him since his last phone call home over two weeks ago. You’re brothers and father are worried but I’m sure he’s doing fine. He's just too busy having fun to worry about contacting us.” Selina told them and the two of them nodded worried looks crossing their faces for a second before they forced smiles on to their faces. Barbara opened her mouth to ask Selina another question but before she could she caught Cathy walking out from the Cafe and over to them. 

“Here you go one chamomile tea with a chocolate scone and a black coffee.” Cathy said as she set down Barbara and Kate’s orders in front of them sending them a small smile. 

“Is there anything else I can get the two of you?” She asked as she looked between Barbara and Kate who both shook their heads. 

“No thanks we’re all set.” Barbara said and Cathy nodded before turning and walking away from the table. 

“So how’s the business going? Have Dad and Tim made any headway on their new project?” Barbara asked and Selina nodded her head around a sip of her coffee. 

“Surprisingly they’ve made quite a bit of headway. As the two of you know Tim was able to find a location for that new building of theirs but he’s also managed to draw up the blueprints of it as well. They’ve even got Roy in to help them on their project and he’s done some research on the area and apparently it used to belong to the government. So how have your new jobs been going?” Selina asked as she set her cup of coffee down on the table and leaned back in her chair watching the two of them. 

“The new job in the morgue has been going well. It's a lot calmer than the GCPD morgue which is honestly nice but if anything it’s weirder than the GCPD morgue.” Barbara told her at which Selina raised her eyebrow at her.

“What do you mean?” 

“Well for starters for a hospital we get more Jane and John Does than I ever got at the morgue and when I asked my boss about it he said that it was a normal occurrence because they have a lot of homeless people who get brought in an alot of the time they don’t give us their names. Then there are the bodies that don’t match up with their actual medical records and every time I ask about it my boss tells me not to worry about it because that’s an upstairs thing.” Barbara explained and Kate nodded her head as she looked over at her. 

“Yeah the same shit happens upstairs with the emergency room people get brought in their records don’t match anything about them and the other nurses disappear for large periods of time randomly throughout the day and if I ask where they went I’m told they go on lunch or they had to go home, and then minutes later there they are working again when they should have gone home. It’s just all so weird and if the pay wasn’t so good I don’t think I would even bother staying.” Kate explained before taking a large sip of her coffee with a disgruntled look on her face. Selina frowned as she looked between the two of them concerning marking the lines of her face as she did so. 

“The nurses there aren’t exactly the most friendly of people to the new guys, at least they're not to me anyways.” Kate added on when she set down her drink. Selina’s face turned sympathetic as she reached out a hand and gave Kate an affectionate squeeze as she did so. 

“I’m sorry Samantha but you know if you ever get tired of working in the emergency room there’s always room in your father’s company for you he could use someone like you when it comes to the advancement of modern medicine, he could use both of you.” Selina told them as she looked over at Barbara giving her a pointed look that she returned with a smile. Giving Kate’s hand one more affectionate squeeze she let go and sat back in her seat. 

Clenching her hand Kate smiled at Selina before she moved her hand off the table and set it in her lap, looking over at Babs out of the corner of her eyes and giving her a small nod. Focusing on Selina again as she sighed and stood up from the table. 

“As fun as this has been Emilia I’m afraid that I at the very least have to get going, my shift at the hospital starts in a couple of hours and I gotta go get ready.” Kate said as she grabbed her purse slinging it over her shoulder as she gave Barbara and Selina a sad look. 

“Alright well, have a good day at work, it was nice seeing you again.” Selina said as she stood up from the table and gave Kate another hug. 

“It was nice seeing you again too. Maria I’ll see you back at the apartment yeah?” Kate said as she pulled away from Selina and looked towards Barbara who nodded her head. 

“Have fun at work.” Barbara said, waving bye to Kate as she did and Kate flashed her a smile before turning and walking away from.

~Back at the Hospital~

Kate smiled as she walked into the hospital a few hours later her work bag slung over her shoulder and her strides purposeful as she walked through the doors of the emergency room. 

“Hey Samantha.” The nurse at the front desk said when she caught sight of Kate. 

“Hey Kim.” Kate offered back as she forced a small friendly smile on to her face and gave a small wave as acknowledgement before scanning her badge and walking through the doors and into the actual ER. 

Casting a quick glance around the locker room as she entered it Kate sighed in relief when she noticed that it was surprisingly empty. Shoving her things into the locker Kate slipped the device that Selina had given her into the pocket of her scrubs before closing her locker and throwing her hair up into a ponytail as she walked out of the locker room. Walking up to the main desk in the ER Kate shoved her hands into her pockets, her fingers brushing against the device as she leaned over the counter. 

“So, what’s on the menu for today Sarah?” Kate asked as her eyes skimmed over the contents on the front desk and then the people rushing around the ER. Besides her Sarah sighed as she rolled back in her seat towards the filing cabinet grabbing a file off the top she rolled back towards the desk and flipped it open. 

“Looks like today is shaping up to be one of the slower days in Gotham so there’s not much to do today other than the usual.” Sarah said as she started typing on the computer while glancing at the file every now and again. Sighing Kate pushed herself off the counter and pulled her hands from her pockets. 

“Alright, where am I starting first?” Kate asked and Sarah looked up at her for a brief second before rolling away from the desk again, grabbing a blue folder off of a pile she rolled back over to Kate handing it to her. 

“Carla Francheska came in this morning victim of a drive by in Crime Alley she’s in critical condition, Dr. Roberts wants you to check on her and make sure she’s still stable. Once that’s done you need to go change 209’s catheter and 210’s bedpan, after that the medical waste needs to be taken out, and the surgery rooms need restocking.” Sarah ordered as Kate took Carla’s file from her. Mentally Kate sighed as she looked over the file, getting the gist of Carla’s situation. 

“Alright, I’ll get started on that.” Kate said as she wandered away from the desk. She needed to do the things that Sarah had listed off first. Flipping the file closed Kate sighed as she closed her eyes for a few brief moments before opening them again and continuing towards Carla’s room. It was going to take longer to do her part of the mission than she originally thought.

Kate huffed out a relieved sigh as she fell back against the wall resisting the temptation to slowly slide down the wall, she had finally finished restocking the operation rooms and even helping out in a couple of the surgeries themselves when no one else could. Reaching up she wiped the sweat from her brow before letting her shoulders slump. It wasn’t until someone cleared their throat that Kate even bothered moving and even then it was only to look towards the person who had cleared their throat to see Dr. Jekyll standing a few feet away from her holding a couple of files in his hands. Pushing herself off the wall she straightened out her scrubs as she forced a smile on to her face. 

“Hello Dr. Jekyll I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.” Kate said and he nodded his head, offering her what he probably assumed was a small friendly smile but only served to look slightly pissed. 

“No need to worry my dear, I just wanted to congratulate you on your splendid performance in the operating room today. I've never seen a new nurse handle a situation like what we found ourselves in as well as you did.” He told her, his tone sounding genuinely sincere as he looked at her. Kate’s smile turned genuine for the first time since she had started her undercover work here, and she stood up a little straighter as she smiled at him. 

“Oh, thank you sir, you have no idea how much that means to me.” Kate said and Dr. Jekyll nodded his head. 

“Of course, now I need you to take these files to Dr. Roberts office for me please, I need him to sign off on these files and then I need a second opinion on the top file.” Dr. Jekyll said as he held out the files in his hand for her to take. Internally Kate smiled widely to herself as she took the files from Dr. Jekyll with a smile on her face. 

“Yeah, sure, no problem Dr. Jekyll I’ll get right on that.” She said and he nodded his head.

“Good, once you're done why don’t you go on lunch, you look like you’ve been going since you started.” He mentioned and she nodded her head, widening her eyes just a little to emphasize her point. 

“That’s because I have been a doctor, anyways I’ll get right on this for you.” Kate said and Dr. Jekyll nodded before walking away. She waited until he had rounded the corner before letting a large smile spread across her face and turning and walking in the opposite direction. She loved when things magically worked out for her especially when an excuse is handed directly to her. 

Walking over to Dr. Roberts office Kate hugged the files to her chest and weaved her way in and out of the people that she passed. She stopped in front of Dr. Roberts office hesitating for a few seconds before knocking on his door and pressing her ear against it listening. She knocked again when she didn’t hear anything the first time and when she still didn’t hear anything the second time she tested the handle to find that it wasn’t locked. Pushing the door open she stepped into the office and stood in the doorway for a few seconds, her eyes glancing around the room searching for a hidden camera. When she was satisfied that there weren’t any cameras in the office she walked in, softly kicking the door closed behind her before walking up to his desk. Setting the files down on Dr. Roberts desk Kate pulled the two listening devices out of her pocket and slowly looked around the room again looking for a good place to put the devices. After a few seconds of looking she made her way over to the book shelf that was pressed along the wall next to the desk popping up onto the tip of her toes she pressed one of the devices into the little out cropping where the walls of it met the top of the bookcase. Stepping back she peered up at the top of the book case making sure that it wasn’t noticeable without feeling around before walking back over to his desk. Grabbing one of the files off the desk she dropped it on the floor before crouching down and pressing the second device on to the wires running out of the computer.

“What the hell are you doing in here?” A voice sounded from behind her suddenly causing Kate to jump, bashing the back of her head into the underside of the desk in the process. 

“Fuck.” Kate cursed as she crawled out from underneath the desk, grabbing one of the papers that had fallen out of the file as she went. Sitting back on her knees she looked up at Marge who was standing over her with her arms crossed over her chest and a glare that would stop most people in their tracks. 

“Oh, hey Marge.” Kate gave her a small wave before turning back to grabbing the papers that had fallen out of the file, and shoving them back into the file. 

“I repeat what the hell are you doing in her Smith?” Marge bit out her stance widening and Kate swallowed, pretending to be nervous as she looked up at her again. She had always been told to avoid Marge as much as possible and to never piss her off, and well she was finally learning as to why she had to avoid the head nurse as much as possible. 

“Ah, Dr. Jekyll asked me to bring these files to Dr. Roberts because he needs a few of them signed off and a consultation on another one but he wasn’t here so I decided that I would just put them on his desk but one of them fell off and everything spilled out so I’m cleaning it up.” Kate said as she motioned to the files on the desk and then to the mess on the floor that was only half cleaned up. Marge was silent for a moment as she looked at Kate watching her for any sign of a lie when she didn’t find any she nodded her head once. 

“Right, well hurry up and pick all that stuff up, I need you back in the ER as quickly as possible.” She ordered and Kate nodded hurrying to shove the papers back in the folder all while Marge watched over her. Standing up she set the folder down on the desk again and rushed out of the room, and Marge just stood there watching as Kate hurried out of the room. Once Kate had left she cast a quick glance around the room before nodding once to herself when she didn’t see anything out of place and leaving Dr. Roberts office. 

~The Void~

Your lungs burned and your feet ached with the force that they were slapping against the ground as you pushed yourself to run faster, harder, anything to get away from the things chasing you. Whipping yourself around a corner you slammed into the wall, a grunt escaping you as you barely managed to catch yourself to stop yourself from falling, pushing yourself off the wall you took off running again. Glancing over your shoulder again you watched as the darkness advanced on you the sound of growling and screeching coming from the darkness as clawed hands reached out dragging the darkness forward after you. Looking back forward you raced around another corner stumbling slightly as you tripped over your own feet. Before you could really pick up the speed again you felt a hand wrap around your ankle, sharp claws digging into your skin there and the next thing that you knew you were on the ground again. 

“No! No! Let go of me! Let go!” You screeched as you kicked at the darkness with your other foot. Clawing at the ground you tried to drag yourself away from the darkness as it dragged you backwards the sounds of growling and screeching growing louder as the sound of tearing flesh reached your ears as well. 

“No! Let go! Let go!” You screamed as you felt more hands grab you pulling and tugging at you as you were flipped over onto your back the hands gripping at your clothes and shoulders as the darkness started to swallow up your legs. Shaking your head you twisted and turned, bucking and pulling against the hands dragging you forward. Just as the darkness had reached your knees the lights in the hallway suddenly brightened to the point of blinding but just as suddenly as it had come it was gone. 

Blinking several times you brought your hands up to shield your eyes from the blinding light. It took several minutes for the light to finally subside just enough to for you to see that you where standing in one of the torture rooms only you wheren’t on the rack this time.

“Wh… What’s going on?” You muttered as you lowered your hands, squinting into the lights as you tried to see who was strung up on the rack, fully expecting to see a reflection of yourself after all that was how this usually went. But nothing could have prepared you for what you saw. A sense of cold washed through you as your eyes widened, your whole body shook as you took a terrified step forward. 

“No. No, Jason, no.” You muttered as you took another step forward only to see the darkness from behind Jason's hands flying out of it wrapping around Jason’s beaten and battered body, pulling him closer despite the chains holding him up. 

“No! NO! JASON!” Your voice cracked as you raced forward straight into the darkness. When the darkness cleared you were no longer trying to save Jason from the darkness, you were now the one strung up on the rack. 

Your heart jumped into your throat as your hands wrapped around the chains and your breath came in short quick bursts, your knuckles turned white. No, no, no, this isn’t good, this isn’t good, you weren’t supposed to be here, you hadn’t done anything wrong, you weren’t supposed to be here, what had happened to you? What did you do? You could feel your heart beating against your rib cage as your whole body began to shake and your eyes frantically jumping around the room searching for anyone else. When the door opened your heart stopped when you saw who was walking through it. 

“Jason?” You asked as you watched him walk towards you, picking up a whip as he went. Your blood ran cold as he smiled maliciously at you, his hand stretching out the whip as his eyes traveled up and down the length of your body.

“Where to start, where to start.” Jason muttered but it wasn’t with his voice and through your confusion your brow furrowed just the tiniest bits. He sounded like Dr. Roberts and you weren’t sure what terrified you more the whip in his hands or his voice. 

“Oh I know, how about right here?” He asked as he reached out with the handle of the whip tracing a line from your shoulder down across your chest. Shaking your head you tried to push yourself back away from Jason as he raised the whip in the air. 

“No, no, no, Jason no, please, Jason don’t. Jason don’t! Jason DON’T PLEASE DON’T!” You begged him as he brought the whip down causing you to scream in pain as he brought the whip up again and then down again on your other shoulder creating an X across your chest. 

“No! NO! NO! Jason please! Please! Stop! PLEASE!” You screamed as he continued to whip you. 

~Jason’s P.O.V~

Jason jolted out of the light sleep that he had fallen into his hand tightening around yours as he sat up straight his eyes jumping around the room searching for a threat only to find nothing, not even a guard standing outside the door. Turning his attention back to you he watched in shock as you moved for the first time in literal days. He watched as you twitched and jerked slightly, your face contorting into one of confusion and then pain as a weak sounding whimper escaped your throat. Jason felt his heart break as he watched you and he climbed on to his knees reaching out he grabbed your shoulders, shaking you lightly. 

“(Y/N), (Y/N) wake up, come on wake up it’s just a dream, wake up.” Jason murmured as he shook you lightly trying to get you to wake up. When that didn’t work he stared at you for a few seconds trying to think of another way to wake you up but he didn’t want to hurt you yet it killed him to see you in such pain and not be able to do anything. Sighing he climbed up to his feet before sitting on the edge of you bed, carefully he shifted around picking you up he set your head on his lap. Running his hands through your hair he whispered calming words trying to comfort you as best he could. It took a good several minutes before you finally calmed down you expression turning peaceful once again as your body went lax in his arms and your breathing evened.

[septiembrre]

Brio #4 a hug after not seeing someone for a long time pls

Ruby & Beth come back from a well-deserved vacation, at least 15 years overdue.

I really thought this was the easy prompt out of the bunch. I thought for sure this one would be just 500 words, a neat and contained ficlet. Oh well, it’s 3k. 

I tagged some folks at the bottom, but just because I tagged you doesn’t mean you have to read it, but there’s a note for you down there in case you get around to it. I’m being a brat and posting too much and I know everyone’s busy with their week. Also, what is this hellish October?

Also here on AO3

-----

So I Come To You, My Love

Beth is itchy, impatient ever since they boarded the plane to go home. Or maybe since they made it to the airport… or rather, since she woke up before dawn, her mind racing with anticipation of her 11 am flight.

Ruby had gotten up, wandered somnolent into the kitchen for coffee, and promptly been accosted with the sight of Beth sitting at the kitchen table of their rental with her pile of suitcases fully packed and ready to go. Ruby had rolled her eyes to high heaven and asked aloud for patience.

At this point, Beth was too twitchy to be apologetic, the airport calling to her like a beacon from afar.  

Ruby had known that it was only the beginning.

She had shaken her head as they flew along in their rideshare to the airport,  Beth silent, taciturn, and unable to make any small talk with their cheerful driver asking them indulgent questions about their trip. She had rubbed Beth’s shoulder as Beth sighed, loudly, multiple times in the line for security, in line for boarding. She had watched as Beth’s eyes had darted to the time on her cell and tracked the clocks ticking on the airport walls. 

Again, Ruby had prayed, Heavenly Father, please give me the patience and understanding to not harm Elizabeth Marks, my aforementioned best friend, on this eight-hour flight. Please bring us safely to our journey’s end. 

Eventually, they settled on the plane and Ruby… Ruby needed a break. Beth and all of her fidgeting were giving her friend nervousness by osmosis. They should have anticipated it, of course. That this is how their fabulous, three-week, best-friend vacation was doomed to end -- in an anxious fizzle.

So, Ruby went about her process. She popped her ZzzQuil and put on her Nidra eye mask (or as Annie would say, “her eye bra”). Then, she wrapped herself up the plush blanket she had purchased for maximum airplane luxury, fully reclined her first-class seat, and adamantly went to sleep. 

It’s in this purgatory that Beth finds herself waiting. 

Waiting.

And still waiting.

At first, she tries to watch a movie, and it plays as told on the screen in front of her for two hours. She barely hears a word. Then, she tries to sleep, too. 

But, no dice.

And she can’t exactly complain and blame it on the flying experience when she’s sitting in first class. The trip, an international vacation to France, had already been the fanciest thing Beth and Ruby had ever done. They had taken three weeks off from work to do it and that time was a luxury in itself. So, when Stan and Rio had combined husband-partner powers (HPP as Ruby and Beth had toasted to, giggling on the first flight across the ocean) and surprised them, upgrading their seats to first-class… It had been the cherry on top of the icing on the cake. 

But, despite all the makings for premium comfort, Beth ends up bringing her seatback upright. 

Instead, she passes the time, tapping her heel and staring off into space. 

While she knows rationally it’s not true, it feels like the longest eight hours of her life. The last half of the flight stretches out before her but this experience certainly wasn’t as long as any of her births, or as stressful as even half of the situations they had gotten themselves into while criming these past four years. 

But, Beth doesn’t ever really do well with prolonged absences from Rio. The anxiety of what it meant before -- ghosting, getting cleaved from the business -- is still something they are working to break from the patterns of their relationship, something Rio is still trying to unlearn as being his go-to answer to emotional conflict. 

But, historically it had unfolded the other way around. There had never been a precedent of Beth being the one to smoke bomb out for a few weeks...

Of course, she wasn’t smoke bombing anywhere, slipping away into the ether. This was a long-planned vacation, months in the making, decades in the dreaming. There had been careful plotting to adjust the slack in the printing schedule and there had been deliberate calendering with the children’s summer activities. And well, Rio knew where to find her -- both where her rental was in Paris and where she more permanently lived (with him). 

And it’s not like they hadn’t talked every morning and every night and sometimes in between of these past three weeks

God, she feels clingy and codependent and too much like her teenagers. Ruby had called Stan half as much. 

And she’s still itchy. 

…And kind of oily now?

She keeps scratching at a spot on one of her shoulders, at her palms, blotting at her face.

The people around her are going to think she has some sort of disease.

Except for Ruby, who knows. 

So, Beth sits there, tapping, scratching, sighing into the void of time. 

And it shouldn’t be so much of a surprise when a little more than halfway through the flight, Ruby’s hand emerges from its blanket cocoon to clamp down on Beth’s jiggling leg. Regardless, Beth all but levitates a foot into the air, gasping. 

“Chill out.” 

Beth takes a deep breath and tries her best. 

Then, she blows out a raspberry. “I can’t.” 

Ruby rips off her eye mask, sighing loudly.  “You’re such a newlywed.” 

“That’s the thing,” Beth says glumly. “We’re not even married.”

“Do you want to be?” Ruby looks over at her best friend, brow furrowed. And she wonders for the millionth time the question she won’t actually voice out loud, What did Rio’s dick do to her friend?

Beth looks back at Ruby, then her gaze shifts away, “No--” It comes out in upspeak, like a question and unsure. She swallows, and tries again, “No.” 

Ruby widens her eyes at Beth who cringes, folding into herself. Then, Beth shifts anxiously in her seat, avoiding Ruby’s gaze. “No, I don’t really… care.” Then, Beth grimaces, realizing it obviously sounds like she cares.

“Oh-kay.”

“I just--” Beth starts defensively, “Three weeks has been a long time to be away from home.” 

The trip was wonderful, a literal dream -- one they’ve dreamt of since high school. But, the three weeks have been a long time, for both of them.

Beth continues, “I’d do it again in a heartbeat but now that we’ve been, maybe two weeks next time.”

Ruby nods. “I can’t wait to see Stanley. Ugh, to hug Harry.” She hugs her own arms around herself picturing embracing her son. “Sara…” Ruby purses her lips. “Can stay at her photography camp.” 

Beth rocks in to nudge her shoulder against Ruby’s, chiding. “You missed her.” 

“Let’s just say that I’m glad I took the higher road and got her those damn macarons she wanted.” 

“I’m glad we ended up doing that, too. The kids are going to be thrilled, especially Emma.”

Ruby shakes her head fondly. “I love that child. Forever my favorite nibling.” 

“Yeah, well Sara is my favorite niece, so don’t be too hard on her.”

Ruby scoffs. “She’s your only niece.”

“And you know, she’s had weeks now to think about it. She’s probably feeling very sorry she said all those things before you left.” Beth consoles, reaching over to hold Ruby’s hand. “Knowing Stan, he’s probably worked his magic on her and you’ll go back and be a perfect family again.”

Ruby shakes her head, then turns against the seat to look at Beth, all charm, “So, who’s your favorite nephew?”

Now it’s Beth’s turn to scoff, “You know Annie would kill me if I didn’t say Ben.” 

“Well, she’s not here.” 

Beth rolls her eyes. “You know Benjamin is as perfect a child as they come. But, I never see him anymore. He’s always off with his friends and suddenly too old to hang out with his younger cousins, too cool to hang out with his favorite aunt-- and you know I’m not good with teenagers.” Beth shrugs. “And Harry’s eight and a mini version of Stan. It’s just not a fair fight.”  

 Ruby smiles, pleased, “I’m going to tell Annie.”

“You can’t tell Annie. I told you that under the assurance of secrecy.”

“Bitch, I didn’t give you no assurance.”

Beth sticks her tongue out at Ruby. Ruby scowls at her back. Then, they settle again. 

“You have plans with gang boo? Oh, excuse me-- Christopher…” Ruby trills. “--Since you’re anxious as all get out.”

Beth arches back against the seat, fidgeting again. “I’m not anxious.”

Ruby levels her with a look.

“I’m not.”  

There’s a beat where Ruby continues to stare at Beth, waiting. Beth rocks her jaw and looks away.

“Why don’t you just text him?” 

“I already did when we got on the plane.” 

“So… message him again?” 

Beth cants her head low, letting her hair fall to obscure her face. 

“He’s being… you know how he is.”

“I… do but I’m not sure I want to know what that means.” Ruby pauses, sitting with it. “Oh my god.” She clamps her hand down again, this time on Beth’s wrist. “Does he want you to take naked pictures in the bathroom?”

Beth tries to snatch her arm away, flailing in the seat.

“What if Delta sees your nudes?! Please, tell me you did not do that in that sardine box ten feet away from me, Elizabeth. Marks.” 

“I didn’t. I would never.” 

Someone a row over shushes them. 

Ruby relinquishes her grip to press at her eyebrows. “Y’all are too much.” 

Beth shrugs. “He really liked those caftans we bought at that boutique.”  

Ruby considers that, thinking about how much she underestimated Christopher Aguilar’s capacity to love her friend. Sometimes it just really is too much to think about. “You got a special night planned?” 

“No,” Beth says shortly. 

“Mm.” Ruby nods along. “You know that man’s not going to let you out of bed, right?”

Beth flushes, squirming again in her seat. And she feels awkward talking about it, but, God, she hopes so?

“When are you picking up your kids again?” 

“Tomorrow night.”

Ruby tsks and looks at Beth knowingly. 

“You really don’t want to try to get some sleep? You’re gonna need it. Hell, I’m gonna need it and here you are keeping me up.” 

Beth laughs shortly. “You’re one to talk about not getting out of bed. Stan literally wrote you an ode last week.” 

Ruby smiles, something soft, small, and happy. “He was trying to compete with Paris.” Then she says, playful. “Almost twenty-five years of marriage and I still got it.” 

Beth looks at her friend and opens her mouth looking for the words. She turns to search Ruby’s face and tries to be vulnerable.

Her voice comes out small and a little desperate, “Do you really think he missed me?”

Ruby snorts. “I’m honestly surprised he didn’t show up in Paris to crash our trip. The man’s a genie. A genie with a lot of dinero.”

And it’s flattering, the image of Rio flying across the world to find her. Of course, he had stayed right where she left him -- in Detroit, in the middle of nailing down some business with one of his bars -- while she and Ruby fulfilled the dream they had for twenty years now. 

It was... something, really something to be flush with cash, for all of the people she loved to be rolling in the riches, to have enough to afford anything she wanted. Security -- what a concept.

But, quickly enough she is so greedy. Beth is already calculating when it would be realistically feasible for her and Rio to take time off together for a trip of their own (maybe a beach this time).  

Beth lets out a long, deep sigh.

“B, that man was glued to his phone for any and every picture or text you would send him about what you were doing. He woke up at some god awful time to tell you ‘Good Morning’ and cleared his schedule every day at 5 pm to call you at the end of ours. He missed you.” 

She whispers. “I missed him, too.” 

“I know,” Ruby says dryly. Suddenly, her hand flies up to push the button for the attendant. 

Beth looks at Ruby nonplussed, as the attendant makes their way down the aisle to their seats. 

Ruby eyes Beth sternly. “We still have two hours on this airplane and we are going to make the most of it. It’s still our vacation and you need to hold your shit together.” 

Pep talk over, she smiles wide at the flight attendant and requests, “Two mimosas, please!”

----

It’s more than two mimosas. When their flight finally lands, Beth and Ruby don’t walk in the straightest line up the jet bridge. 

They pause just out of their gate, a big sense of feeling bringing both of them to a standstill. Tipsy, relieved to be off the plane, and home again, vibrant in this feeling of togetherness with each other, they embrace. 

“Thank you, friend.”

“I hate your face.”

“I hate your face.”

“God, I never want to see your face again.”

They loosen their hold, dab at their wet eyes. 

“Thank you for Paris.”

They tear up all over again. 

-----

Once they make it out of their gate, Ruby and Beth stop to use the bathroom. Beth takes the opportunity to smooth out her hair, dab some cold water at her blotchy cheeks, and reapply some deodorant. 

She thinks she’s going to jump out of her skin. 

Ruby brushes her teeth, and Beth inspired does so, too. They apply lip balm on their chapped lips. Beth pinches color into her cheeks, as Ruby laughs, “He sees you on the daily first thing in the morning. Or do you pull a Midge Maisel on him?”

Beth sticks out her tongue. 

As they get ready to move on and Ruby gets a call from Stan, who reports that they are there waiting outside of customs. 

Beth all but runs to the international baggage claim, Ruby trailing behind her, watching her best friend with great amusement and a little secondhand embarrassment but she’s excited, too. They get in line at customs, and blessedly it isn’t long and they don’t have enough to declare. Quick enough, they’re buzzing through the doors that announce no return entry. 

On the other side are escalators leading them up from the bottom-most level -- international arrivals only -- to the ground floor. Beth files in with her suitcases, behind Ruby.

And as they move further up the escalator, they can spot Stan and Rio waiting for them at the top. 

Beth turns to Ruby, “Store on Monday?”

Who nods back, “Store on Monday.”

As they get closer, Beth drinks Rio in and something unsnarls in her soul. He’s in a black t-shirt, his jeans, and a pair of his typically sharp shoes -- dressed for Detroit in June. Her eye zero in on his ink, visible on his neck, the stretch of skin exposed on his arms, his hands clenched at his sides, the scruff on his face. Video has come a long way but, she’s relieved to see him in real detail. She’s relieved that in seconds she’ll be able to touch him, relieved to see that particular warm look in his eyes, the embers in person. 

Beth can’t help it -- a smile stretches wide across her face. It really hasn’t been that long, she’s spent decades without him, but she feels giddy, goofy, effervescent. She could float right up to the top of the escalator, straight into his arms. But, gravity is real and she has to wait her turn.

Ruby walks off to greet her Stanley.

And Beth walks up to Rio. He reaches forward to pull her luggage to the side and she pauses in front of him. The magnetism of the inches between their bodies is electric, more dizzying than the champagne on the flight. He just looks so good. 

He beams back at her, smiling wide. In the periphery of her vision, she can see his hands twitching.

And-- good.

Beth thinks she could fuck him now, drag him into a bathroom somewhere, but all she wants to do is kiss him. 

So, she does. 

She steps closer, brushing her nose with his (and doesn’t that feel new? And absurdly tender?). Her lips touch his. And God, it’s soft and she’s smiling into it, and he is, too. He tastes like the mint tea he probably had after lunch. And she has the brief thought that they’re so… dumb. He’s thirty-nine this year and she’s in her mid-forties and honestly, this is ridiculous for their age. It’s only been days and they had so much phone sex. But, this real-life thing, it feels so good.

It’s overwhelming. It’s perfect. 

Rio curls his arms around her, smart hands sliding down to palm her ass as he brings her as close as possible. Her hands clutch the back of his neck, feeling the skin there, smelling the musky scent of his cologne, as they cling to each other. One of her hands wanders to trace the sharp prickliness of his buzz cut, and the other one of his twines along the nape of her neck. Heat curls deep in her core, flaring with the feel of him. 

Eventually, they part for air.  Beth nuzzles Rio’s scruff. 

Rio laughs loud, head rolling back and shoulders shaking. Gorgeous. 

“Baby,” he looks at her, biting his lip. “You taste like a bottle.”

Beth gasps, insulted. “I brushed my teeth!” 

“Okay, champ.” He kisses her again, short this time. “You gonna be able to make it home?”

Then, she kisses him again, playfully pushing her tongue in his mouth. He’s panting when they part. And she can’t help it, she’s beaming. 

“The question is, are you?”

-----

The fanfiction I read influences my writing so much. The intertextual winks that stood out to me in this one: 

@sothischickshe -- genie word choice ;-)  

@foxmagpie for the word ‘CANT’? Girl, were you the first person to wordsmith this? I think you were and it’s the perfect description for half the things Rio does with his jaw. This time I appropriated it for Beth. 

[askmyboys]

I’d call these more, my own interpretations instead of just OCs

I’ll tell you how this happened tho, i was literally just comin back from a l o n g ass road trip listenin to the musical and my tired lil brain started thinkin bout these boys and i was like ...what if i just,, made my o w n versions of em? What if I just,, and then boom, out popped well, this-

| Names: Henry Jekyll and Edward Hyde

| Nicknames: Jekyll doesn’t much care for nicknames but Hyde calls him Jek, Hen or Hen-Hen, or Henny which he REALLY hates. For the other, it’s either Ed or just simply Hyde ...Jekyll has given him many ‘nicknames’ mostly they are hateful ones tbh.

| Genders: Henry goes by he/him and Hyde goes by he/him and it/its

| Ages: Unknown but they are both adults

| Heights: Jekyll is 5’7” and Hyde is like 6’6” for sure (even tho they inhabit the same body, fuck it, im makin the rules ..andchangingthemfromtheogthing but i say height changes when Hyde’s in control)

| Species/Races: Henry’s a human ofc and Hyde? Honestly, idk what this thing is, all i can tell you is he’s stinky

| Eye Colors: Jekyll’s eyes are a Baby Blue color and Hyde’s eyes are Blood Red (ooh e d g y man)

| Hair Colors: Jekyll’s hair is honestly a messy curly undercut and the color of it is a dark brown and he has gray on the sides meanwhile Hyde’s hair is Black and in a spiked quiff style and he also has gray on the sides

| Skin Colors/Body Types: Jek’s a BIT pale but Hyde’s a much more- his skin is definitely more so a Whitish Gray kinda color so it’s definitely more noticeable than Jek’s skin if you look close enough at that (things do have to change when a certain one is in control of the body, can’t be EXACTLY the same or else it might give away that their the same person hehe) and their body types don’t really change- Jek’s body type is skinny (nothing TOO bad ofc, just a tad bit) if Hyde had his own body he’d definitely be a more average kinda bulkier build.

| Appearances: Okay first things first- they both have circle beards EXCEPT Hyde’s is a LOT more scruffier (he also has thicker sideburns btw!) and a BIT more grown out than Jek’s which is trimmed a bit more and groomed perfectly.

Jekyll usually has the typical lab coat on and a baby blue turtleneck underneath it, he also has blue pants that he wears with it as well and some oxford shoes that match the outfit, he also wears circle glasses as well (they help him see a lot better p much whereas when Hyde’s in control he doesn't really need em actually) Henry has a GOOD amount of scars all over his body, whether it be by accident, inflicted on purpose, or something more… It’s partially why he keeps his turtleneck on mostly and the lab coat helps as well- he’s ashamed of the scars and he tries to hide them especially so no one will worry about him, also for some more minor details- he wears a black watch on his wrist as well (he has no piercings or nothin like that) that’s p much it for Jek tbh, his features are p much 100% human so uh yeye

Now onto Hyde’s outfit- And yes, keep in mind- he’s still kinda,, an entity or whatever the fuck he is inside Henry’s body essentially but he DOES change his clothes when going out- his main one for going out is usually a black cloak he wears around himself (the outfit underneath is a black suit vest with a long dark red tie (his shirt underneath the suit vest is a dark red long sleeved shirt), he also wears black pants, and dark red oxford shoes, and of course he’s got a black top hat on (the band on it is red, definitely keeping a black n red themed appearance here aint he?) (his other outfits, hm I can leave up to the imagination tbh this is just for when he’s travelling around and so other people don’t spot him nearly as easily, especially when it’s n i g h t t i m e…) he’ll wear whatever the fuck he wants, and it doesn’t have to be fancy in the s l i g h t e s t- he has a variety of options.

He also has pointed ears, razor sharp teeth (got them bear trap teeth but not only that, he’s got a lot more s e c r e t teefs than that ;) he’s a lot more monstrous on the inside than the outside i’ll say that much, Jek’s n Hyde’s anatomy does change and transform depending on who gains control ...honestly it probs hurt to have your body transform and shift like that ouchie) he also has multiple tongues, he has claws that he painted black and red for the a e s t h e t i c s ya know- and hell at this point he might as well have tentacles ...He might- but I mean if you really wanna know, fuck around and find out for yourself and fuck it- he also has a dark red devil style tail since he wanna act like fuckin Satan himself smh

...I made him a lot more monstrous than originally planned but eh its fitting- bc this is Jek’s body even with a LOT of changes in these regards, he’s got the same scars n such as that, he also wears black and red spiral gauges in his ears (I should also say, he can technically hide these features to make himself appear more human, i didnt originally intend on giving him any actual monstrous features except maybe sharp teeth, claws, n the pointed ears but here we are, he still gotta not arouse suspicion around him too much tho) also his eyes have dark circles around them, not because he’s a tired man he’s just a fucking- hellish bastard who loves to look intimidating.

| Personalities: Let’s uhh start off with Jekyll because he’s better and nicer and not nasty and gross n smelly looking- He’s kind, sweet, compassionate, caring, honestly wouldn’t hurt a fly himself- could never willingly hurt someone! A sweet babey man! He’s very intelligent- I mean,, he IS a Doctor after all, he takes pride in his work but it’s not that overbearing narcissistic type pride, he’s just proud of the breakthroughs he’s made ...Granted, there is one “breakthrough” he wished he could take back .. -glancing slowly at Hyde in the reflection of the mirror- ahem- but he’s always been pretty outgoing but a lot has changed since, that abomination came into his life, sure he still tries his best to be a good person, he tries his very damnedest to find some sorta way to separate or better yet a way to destroy this evil vile beast that plagues his and everyone else’s lives! He’d rather destroy Hyde than separate from him because even then, it's still back to square one only with worse damage since he’d be of his own free will now.

He shuts himself away in his Lab a LOT, as much as he can anyways to avoid going out and risking something more happening to anyone else, of course…

There is no avoiding the outside world forever, he needs things to eat and drink, he needs things to keep his body functioning and not to mention not going outside could drive him, well, more insane than he already feels he is- He just tries to be as quick as he can about it before the other takes control or tries to, Jek definitely has a lotta anxieties and fears, and ya know at this point I mean,, hell- the man’s got trauma- Sometimes he wonders if any of this is actually real, if he had just gone insane and was just imagining all this, sometimes his head hurt because of all the thoughts and potential scenarios along with their outcomes plagued his mind, he feels a lot of things he never thought he’d feel towards anyone, he feels anger and hatred toward Hyde but in a way aside from feeling so negatively toward the other, he can’t help but admire the way Hyde wishes to just simply l i v e, and even before this beast became apart of him… He was always anxious deep down and almost scared to take that jump when needed.

But Hyde? Hyde doesn’t seem to even c a r e! That thing lives it’s life without any care whatsoever, he doesn’t have any anxieties or fears at all it seems! In a way, Henry might even be a lil envious toward the other’s carefree attitude and that he’s free of anxieties and fears ...H-He still doesn’t want the other around, he still wishes to destroy Hyde of course, even with the envy and maybe a slight bit of admiration he has his morals and principals, and if Hyde continues to exist or w o r s e gets his own body it could prove v e r y perilous.

Now onto… Eugh, Hyde- The bastard man himself- He’s stinky- an evil bastard who really needs just a good punch in the face (god don't do it yourself tho, he’ll probs eat ur entire arm) Hyde’s absolutely disgusting, will do ANYTHING to get what he desires, he can be narcissistic in some regards, VERY prideful and greedy in many ways, he isn’t above committing murder like really, was he EVER above it? If he wanted, he’d literally murder you not even for a bag of corn chips but literally just one, psh- selling you to satan for one? Bah that’s amateur’s work! He’s somehow a minor inconvenience who can commit REALLY nasty and horrible atrocities at the same time if he feels like it, if he finds out something annoys you or REALLY pisses you off he’s going to keep doing it, he will literally try driving you insane just for the fun of it, really at this point it doesn’t seem like he HAS much of a goal but to just l i v e and cause chaos, destruction, and mayhem wherever he goes, he despises Jekyll in many ways, one being for trying to destroy him first and foremost but also Henny is just s o fucking weak, such a weak man with far too many anxieties, fears, etc- He’d be SO much better of a man if he’d simply let Hyde take control and STAY in control!

It’d make everything a lot easier, then Jek wouldn’t have to worry about ANYTHING ever again! No more of that pathetic nonsense! If it were possible, Hyde would absolutely l o v e to have his own body, separate from Jekyll, that way he could have his own life separate from that pathetic weakling’s! But… Even then, Jekyll and Hyde are one, in many ways they are absolutely apart of one another, two sides of the same coin, even with their MAJOR differences in personality and Hyde almost seeming like an entirely different entity just merely possessing Jekyll, after all, Hyde will admit it himself, he spawned from deep within Jekyll’s mind, he’s tried to get the other to see time and time again that he’s always been apart of the other deep down, Jek’s always had a more mad and evil side to him! Even if the other will deny this and take the denial to his grave, Hyde always persists in trying to get the other to see the truth in front of his eyes!

Aside from that tho, Hyde is just generally a dick and loves to mess with Jek and terrify him sometimes for literally no reason, hell he could be bored one day and decide “Hey Henny, fuck you, you suck” he loves to start drama, he loves to cause problems on purpose- Both of them would give anything to separate from each other, even if Hyde knows the truth deep down bout the both of them, even if he were always originally a part of Jekyll, it didn’t matter, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to get his own body, away from that pathetic coward of a man!

| Side Facts: Jekyll rarely ever gets to relax or any free time, he’s too worried to give himself that in fear he’ll lose control, he’s almost CONSTANTLY fighting to keep control over the other, even though he knows it's physically impossible to do so, after all, he can’t stay awake forever, sure that doesn’t stop him from trying to stay awake as long as he can before his body practically forces him to pass out and he’s MUCH weaker than he used to be, I mean hell, given how long Jekyll seems to have been around, fighting SO much and almost EVERY single day has practically worn his body down but whenever there is an opportunity for any “free” time he usually spends it trying to figure out an antidote or a way to get rid of Hyde (I will say, before Hyde REALLY started doing bastardous n horrendous things, Jek would still get annoyed with him bc he was always that way but he actually, I’d say tolerated him more so than he does by now) and Hyde even- well, he still disliked Henry IMMENSELY so, but he definitely wasn’t as bad or as awful as he is to the other now, it was more so I tolerate you and we dont have to seriously fight or struggle with each other for control and back then Jek would even sometimes let Hyde have control.

But then… A serious incident (I wont name what exactly) but a serious incident that happened caused the two to absolutely despise each other (i didnt say up there, yes, Hyde absolutely despises Jekyll but there is some heavily hidden admiration in regards to the other’s determination, his persistence, and even somewhat of his creativity, Jekyll despite being an annoying nuisance in Hyde’s way, he does have some admirable things about him) but anyway- ever since that incident occurred, Jek has tried almost EVERYTHING he knew of to get rid of Hyde, even if separation from his body would still be bad bc that could mean Hyde would obtain his own body honestly? I believe Jekyll would still take that opportunity if he were given it, if he needed, he’d try and find someway to stop Hyde’s evil, maybe it’d be easier even if the other had his own body, he didn’t know, he just wishes he could be free from all this torment and agony like gosh damn give this man a b r e a k. Give him some fruit gummies and an appy juice carton and leave him be!

When Hyde is in control he wastes little time in finding things to do, being able to be out, to see the world, the world ripe for chaos and destruction, he wastes little time in getting straight to work with whatever his devious lil mind wants to think of- also for more monstrous purposes, back up there, I was p vague with the mention of teeth on his insides- p much teeth going down his throat and hell who knows, the bastard probably has teeth on the inside of his stomach at this rate- Another not so fun fact, this man can unhinge his jaw! Yaaay so u can see sharp teefs! ...He does have to kinda set his jaw back in place though bc god forbid Jek takes control then.

Smh imagine taking back control of your body only to have a fucking dislocated j a w wouldn’t that be hellish?

Hyde rarely ever does this for a few reasons- he only does it if he’s in the mood for just takin a big chomp outta someone (big chompy) just, just please- lock this thing away- or kill it, it's a menace to society and deserves nothing good- two more things btw, tbh I genuinely wasnt even considering inhuman features at first but ya know, I compromised- he has them he just chooses to hide them more often and speaking of, while Hyde says he’s always been apart of Jekyll (well this version I made anyway) that deep down their two sides of the same coin, can you really believe him? I mean, I’m not going to spoil it and tell ya anything in that regard, but who knows, who knows what Hyde REALLY is, whether or not he’s always been apart deep down inside of Jek or just some form of entity that spawned via that wonderful little formula.

And the final thing is, their voices are p much based on the musical ones' voices- Hyde’s is that deeper n raspier kinda voice while Jek’s is much softer and ya know POLITE sounding.

[kshep106]

Working Title: Bonds of Blood

How far are you willing to go for family?

There’s a metallic taste in my mouth as something drips from my head. A ringing screams in my ears as I crawl to my knees before stumbling upright. I face my opponent, fists clenched and chest heaving. A punch flies to my face. A feint. Another to my stomach. I block it with my knee and grab the other, twisting my momentum and rip the boy off his feet. Drenched in mud, he rises. We circle around. He’s left an opening and I tackle him into the mud. Knees pressed into his chest, a hand around his throat and a fist pointing between the eyes, he surrenders. I win. My vision is darkens and the world tips on its side.

               ‘They’re raising it by two hundred,’ Mum says.

               ‘What the hell are we supposed to do then,’ Skylar shouts.

               ‘Well, we’ll be out on our ear then,’ Mum shouts back. I stand there watching, sipping a juice.

               ‘So, we’re fucked then, aren’t we?’

               ‘Maybe, if we sell some things…,’

               ‘Enough with the selling stuff crap. It’s not going to do anything,’ I knew they were just going to go back and forth eternally unless I mediated.

               ‘We need jobs,’ I said. Skylar scoffed.

               ‘How exactly do we pull that out of our arse?’ she said, grabbing a juice, ‘I can’t fucking stand up for long periods of time. How hard is it for you to understand Lela?’

               ‘And I can’t exactly do much with this,’ Mum said, holding up her stuck stiff hand, ‘not to mention that everything has taken a hit with this pandemic. The benefits just aren’t enough to afford things, but I don’t have the experience required for childcare.

               ‘Then I’ll join the army. I have good health, fitness, my records from school and it pays over sixty grand a year while I’m training. Seventy after,’ I say. Mum looks unconvinced.

               ‘Do you have a better idea?’ She didn’t have an answer for that.

               ‘Do you even know what you’re signing up for?’ Skylar asks.

               ‘Employment.’

 The sun casts streaks through the blinds and my eyes snap open. I fling my feet to the floor and rise. The nurse rushes over. She grips my shoulder while making a noise of disapproval.

               ‘Recruit Warrick, I must ask you to remain on the bed,’ She says. I protest.

          ��    ‘Nurse Errapel, it’s beyond late in the morning. I have to get to training.’

               ‘You’ve been unconscious for twelve hours. You’re staying here for monitoring.’ Her tone leaves no room for argument. She eases me back onto laying on the bed. A door opens and in comes my favourite platoon sergeant. He scans the room, spotting me and walking over. He looks me over. I straighten up in bed and salute. He waves it away.

               ‘Warrick, what the hell have you done to yourself?’ he asks.

               ‘It’s nothing. I’m fine.’ I say. He shakes his head and turns to Errapel. Sensing his question, she starts to explain.

               ‘We’re just going to be monitoring her for a day to see if its anything serious, Conall.’ He nods in acknowledgment then turns back to me.

               ‘If you’re fine tomorrow then I will see you at training. Early of course.’ He smirks afterwards.

               ‘Yes sergeant.’ I salute. He leaves.

               ‘Get some rest recruit,’ the nurse says, reminding me of her existence.

               I flop backwards, groaning. The day had just begun, and I was already bored. The footsteps of nurses and patients sound around me with a constant quiet chatter. I ignore it, choosing to stare out the window and watch the hours pass by. As a blessing night comes, and I fall asleep ready for tomorrow.

 I awake to the dark and catch the nurse’s attention. She looks me over before giving me approval to thankfully join today’s training. I race to my room and the barracks, dress and make my bed. I think I set a record in that moment. I stand for daily inspection with the rest of my room mates. Gaining approval, we set out for the breakfast hall. They’re serving bacon and eggs. I sit at the bench seats, listening to mindless chatter before it finishes and it’s training time. We make our way to the field and there stands Sergeant Conall. We all salute and so does he.

               ‘Morning recruits today is the time for an obstacle course,’ he says, dropping the salute. Around me there was a lack of enthusiasm, though I was ready after the boredom of yesterday.

               ‘First though, we’re going for a warmup run. Two kilometres. Starting…now,’ he clicked a stopwatch and we all set off. The running track is mostly flat field but there are a few holes to trip in. I finished in six minutes and thirty-four seconds. Which is nothing compared to the two fastest in the platoon, both with five minutes, which is insane. As everyone was catching their breath Conall came over.

               ‘Right. Now onto the course. It’s a treat.’ He smiled after saying this. Slave driver.

               We all stared as he explained what went into it and the safety.

               ‘Right, we’ve got a mud pit covered with wire to crawl through—’

               ‘Oi, what’s all this we business. Unless we get to see you covered in mud Sergeant.’ A voice calls from behind. It’s Fox. The cheeky bugger. Conall calls him on it.

               ‘Sorry recruit, however, you get to experience the wonder twice.’ We all laugh although Fox takes it well. Nothing phases that guy.

               ‘Anyway, you,’ he says, emphasising the ‘you,’ ‘also have a rope swing, the wall, ladders and at the end a flying fox to victory. This will be timed but don’t worry it’s a starting point, you’ll have this again later.’

I hear the quiet mutter of ‘wasn’t worried’ behind me from Fox. I hid a laugh. We got started.

I fling myself into the mud and start crawling. Just about climbing up my backside are five of my platoon mates but we all look like weird golems who just came from mud town. I had mud down my shirt which may be the next worst thing to wet socks. Finally dragging myself from the hellish bog, I run for the rope swing and sail across. A splosh sounds behind me, but I’m too focussed on victory. Next up is the wall. I’m just behind the girl whose bed is next to mine. We both jump for the wall and as I pull myself up a boot collides with my cheek. Gravity makes its appearance as I pitch backward into the dirt. At least it’s not mud. My lungs seem to decide that now is the time to take a vacation. They’re currently being strangled in a vice as I gasp for breath like a drowning person. I can’t breathe. My arms aren’t responding to my commands. Move, dammit. My head is throbbing. I hear voices but they sound far away.

               ‘Sergeant, come quick,’ a voice screams. This time it’s a lot closer. Thuddering footsteps sound. Ah, they’re beside me.

               ‘Recruit, why is Warrick on the ground?’ Conall asks.

               ‘I kicked her off the wall accidently, sir. She hasn’t gotten up.’ It was that girl. She sounded upset. The Sergeant crouched beside me.

               ‘Anything feel broken, kid?’ He eyed me in concern.

               I wheezed out a no.

               ‘Can you stand?’ I nodded and the two of them help me to stand. Unsteady and with a forming bruise. Air was still limited in my lungs.  I knew Conall was going to send me back to the nurses.

               ‘Welp, back to observation for you.’ He sounded amused. Bastard. I just looked at him miserable. He turned to the girl fretting beside me. ‘Can you take her Morrigan?’ She nods. Conall then leaves to watch the rest of the obstacle course. Morrigan turns to me.

               ‘I’m sorry for kicking you.’ She looks contrite. I smile at her.

               ‘It was just an accident. No worries.’ She forms a small smile at this. I grin at it.

               ‘I’m Lela,’ I say, holding out my hand.

               ‘Winifred,’ she replies, taking it. She then wraps her arm around my shoulders.

Winifred supports me under the arms as I slump against her, enter the main building and we hobble along to the Nurse’s station. She strikes up a conversation.

‘So, what brings you to the Armed Forces, Lela?’ She asks, seeming to test out my name.

‘Existing,’ I say. She looks at me with a raised brow.

‘Well with the world gone to shit—’

               ‘Implying the world wasn’t already in a terrible state.’ She frowns at my expletive.

               ‘You’re right. Gone to even more shit, I needed a way to put food on the table,’ I look at a wall frowning, ‘I think this is the fastest it’s globally been fucked.’

               ‘A record truly.’ We both laugh. It’s not funny but its needed. We arrive at the Nurse’s station where Errapel greet us, arms crossed and frowning. I grin.

               ‘Hi, Errapel. Good to see you,’ I say, waving. The poor nurse sighs.

 After getting me set up Errapel leaves, citing other patients to attend. I notice Winnifred still with me, hovering by the foot of my bed, unsure. I turn my head to her and wave her to a chair at my bedside.

‘Hey, thanks for helping me,’ I say. She blinks, inclining her head.

‘It was my responsibility as a result of injuring you.’ I laugh.

‘I’m still grateful,’ I say, smiling before a thought enters my head, ‘did you have to get back?’ She frowns.

‘Do you wish for me to leave?’

‘No, I want to keep talking to you, but I also know that Conall will rain hell for missing training.’ She looks surprised before melting into a mask of disapproval at my language again.

‘I want to stay,’ Winnifred says, quiet as a back road at midnight, looking at the wall. ‘Besides, she says, turning to look at me, ‘I believe the Sergeant would be far harsher about just leaving you like this.’ She gestures to my bruised and battered body. I scoff.

‘Please, I’m fine.’

‘Indeed.’ She stares at me amused. I poke my tongue out like a mature person. She giggles. It sounds like bells. Why the hell do I think that? I put it out of my mind and decide to return the favour from earlier.

‘So, what’re you in for?’ I ask. Her giggling cuts off and she goes back to a neutral expression.

‘It was expected of me.’ I look at her and tilt my head. Catching my confusion, she continues.

‘The Morrigan family have a proud history of service and as such I was required to join when I came of age.’ She says it like giving a report in front of class. I nodded in acknowledgement.

               ‘So, you joined for your family, huh, looks like we have something in common,’ I say, nudging her with my elbow and smiling at her.

               ‘It would appear so, however, I believe they differ. Selflessness and expectation.’

               ‘Aww, Winnie.’ I have no idea where that comes from. She glares at me.

               ‘Do not call me that.’ Okay, whatever, I’m rolling with this. Besides I have to after she says this.

               ‘But it’s cute just like you.’ She goes bright red, unable to meet my eyes and tries to hide by looking at the wall. I grab her pale hand. She jumps and whips her head back to me.

               ‘No, don’t hide,’ I say, between giggles. She proceeds to rise from the chair as if to leave.

               ‘If you’re just going to tease me, I’ll take my leave.’ She hovers out of the chair, blinks and glances down, realising I’m still holding her hand. She goes even redder, somehow. I shake my head, rubbing my thumb across the back of her hand.

‘Stay, please,’ I look her in the eyes. I’ve never seen anything that blue.

She stays.

[p-artsypants]

I Do...I Guess? (Part  One)

The Proposal

FF.net | Ao3.com

I got a craving to replay FFX again for the first time in like ten years. To be honest, I forgot a bunch of stuff (not to mention that I never finished it in the first place.) 

I’m recently engaged, and as I was playing this game, my brain kept saying ‘how would this scene be different if Yuna and Tidus were married?’

So I decided to write it. 

I didn’t want to rehash the whole story completely, so it diverts a bit and I skipped some scenes that I felt would have been the same in canon. Hope you enjoy! 

--

It felt good to laugh. Right. Like they weren’t on a mission to save the world. Like they weren’t trying to stop a hellish reincarnation of his father. 

Like they were a bunch of friends, having fun on a road trip. 

Yuna looked at him, eyes filled with tears from their laughter. Most of her smiles so far had been strained, or just an act. But this was joy. Pure, real joy. 

His fake, psychotic laugh had echoed over Luca, and at first she couldn’t stand the absurdity of it. 

But only a few minutes later, when they both frantically tried to catch their breaths, Yuna realized what she was missing. 

Someone who wasn’t afraid to be a little silly. Someone who wasn’t afraid to be a little rude or wild, even in the face of propriety of Yevon. 

It was a good feeling. 

She smiled at him. “I like you, Tidus.” 

The blunt phrase hit him like a bullet, straight to his heart. “I uh uh...like you too?” And he did. Maybe a little too much for the comfort of his fellow guardians. But getting Yuna’s approval felt good at least. It was nice to know she liked him, and she wasn’t just tolerating him as Wakka’s lost duckling. 

Well, she had agreed to make him a guardian, hadn’t she? That had to count for something. 

She nodded once, a determined look on her face. “Wait here a second, okay?” 

“Oooookay?” 

She walked over to where the others were standing, watching with faces of confusion and mild horror. 

“What?” Called Tidus. 

“We were just wondering if you two had finally lost it!” Wakka called back. 

Tidus didn’t get a chance to reply as Yuna beckoned Wakka into a huddle with the others. 

She talked too softly for him to hear, back to him, and hands held tightly to her chest. No indication of what this was all about. 

But they all gasped together, obviously shocked at something she had to say. 

Something about him? What? Did she want to make him super guardian or something? Did he get promoted already? 

Each and every guardian took a second to look at him, eyes narrowed in a glare of scrutiny. 

Aw crap. What did he do wrong this time?

They all seemed to come to an agreement, as they nodded solemnly. 

When Yuna returned, her face was red, and her eyes wouldn’t meet his. 

“Yuna?” 

“I would...like to ask you something.” 

“Shoot.” 

“It may be sudden, and a little strange...” 

“As has my whole journey been so far. Nothing new for me.” 

“Well...if it’s not too much...I’d like to ask you...to marry me.” 

“M-m-marry?!” He stuttered, taking a full step back. “Wh-what? How? Why?!” 

“You can say no!” She insisted. “It’s just that...summoners typically have a family, or a next of kin. My parents are gone, and I have no siblings. Lulu, Wakka, and Kimahri feel like siblings to me, but in the eyes of Yevon, they’re only friends. I’d like to...take you as my husband. Officially.” 

“That...makes sense...but why me?” 

Her face turned redder. “I told you I liked you...” 

“I didn’t know you meant it that way.” 

Yuna looked ready to cry. “You can still say no. And nothing will change! You can still be my guardian. It’s just that...the temples get really touchy about guardians of the opposite sex staying in the same room with the summoner if they aren’t related or married. Lulu thinks it would be safer...” she covered her mouth. “I’m sorry! I don’t want to pressure you! This is up to you, and I don’t want to twist your arm!” 

Tidus laughed. Not at her, of course, just the situation in general. It was a hollow laugh, one that betrayed how he felt. 

She blushed again, this time in embarrassment. “It’s not a joke...” 

Tidus took a deep breath. “No, it’s not. I’m sorry, I was just...a little shocked. Are you sure? I mean, I’m trying to get back to Zanarkand. If you don’t think I will ever get there, and so you’re taking a chance on me...” 

She shook her head. “I don’t know if you’ll go back. If you do, I’d like to go with you.” She bit her lip and looked away from him. “Truth is...I haven’t ever felt this way about someone before. I felt it the day we met, too. And it’s only grown stronger every time you made me laugh.” She bravely met his eyes. “I don’t know what the future holds for us. But this is something I can control. Something that I can choose. And I choose you. If you’ll have me.” 

Tidus scratched his head, torn. Yuna was amazing. Wonderful, beautiful, sweet, and kind. Not to mention wickedly talented as a summoner. 

But Sin. His father. Zanarkand. Would she still pick him if she knew? 

“This is your decision,” said Auron. “It doesn’t need to be rushed.”

“The next temple is Djose,” added Wakka. “It’s a ways away. But you have until then to decide. That’s the soonest we can get someone to perform the ceremony.” 

Yuna looked small. Smaller than he had ever seen her before. And it was his fault. “Hey,” he said, grasping her shoulder. “My hesitation isn’t because of you.” 

She looked at him, hope in her eyes. 

“I do like you. Kind of like you said you liked me. I noticed it a while ago, but didn’t think it was...wise to entertain it. Any man would be lucky to take you as a...wife.” He struggled with the word. “But, I just need a little time to think. I want to do what’s right. I don’t want to be a hindrance on your pilgrimage.” 

“Oh you won’t be!” Yuna insisted. 

“Yuna,” Auron stepped in. “What if...you beat Sin, and he goes back home? Would your marriage matter?” 

Yuna was quiet a moment. “I always wanted to be a summoner. Ever since I was a child. Just like my father. Marriage was a pipe dream. I know I won’t get that domestic life that everyone dreams about. But if I could entertain it, for a little while, I think it would be worth it.” 

“Who said you can’t have domestic bliss?” Asked Tidus. “Say I agree. You defeat Sin. I don’t go home. Then what? We bask in the glory of your success and return to Besaid. Or wherever you want to settle.” 

Everyone was silent, not making eye contact. 

“I mean, I have faith that we can beat Sin. I’m just saying that fantasizing about the future could be fun.” 

Lulu spoke up. “Perhaps it’s best if you thought things over. We understand where Yuna is coming from. If you want to talk things through a little more, just ask.” 

Auron nodded. “But we can talk on the road. We should get going.” 

All talk of betrothal behind them for now, the group ascended the stairs and stepped onto the plains. 

Everyone moved on, the air a mixture of tense silence and feigned normalcy. 

Tidus hung in the back, away from Yuna, feeling like the scum of the earth. 

Auron walked beside him, that mysterious quiet following him. 

“I messed up, didn’t I?” 

“She sprung that proposal on all of us. Your reaction was normal.” 

“What am I supposed to do? You know what’s going on better than anyone else. What with...Jecht and Sin. You told me not to tell her. So what’s the right thing to do?” 

“Yuna cares deeply for you. I knew it the moment I saw you together.” 

“Oh, like you’re some sort of love expert?” 

“Not a bit. But Yuna is easy to read.” 

“Yeah...she is.” 

“And you didn’t notice?” 

“It’s different when it’s you, you know?” 

“You’re just oblivious.” 

“Am not!” 

“And immature. Definitely not marriage material.” 

“Now you’re just being mean.” 

“You’re just being sensitive.” 

“Rude.” 

They fell into silence then, just following Wakka and Lulu’s lead. 

“Tidus.” He spoke softly.

“Hm?”

“Yuna is Lord Braska’s daughter.” 

“Correct.” 

“The honor of defeating Sin would make her a legend. That honor is something she’s willing to share with you.” 

“I mean, I was planning on helping her anyway. I don’t need the glory.” 

“Then I anticipate you’re a lot less selfish then some other men in this world.” 

“I...don’t follow.” 

Auron exhaled, patiently rewording his explanation. “If you don’t wed her, there’s a chance someone else would try to do so. And they might not be in it for the right reasons.” 

“...so, you’re saying I should say yes?” 

“You wanted guidance. Isn’t that why you’re walking so far back?” 

“I do want guidance. I’ve only been in Spira for a week, and I’ve already been proposed to. How’s a guy supposed to handle that?” 

He sighed. “I don’t want to screw things up for Yuna. I want to help, but if everything that I am...if what he is makes everything wrong...and it’s too late to back out, I would feel awful.” 

“Sin’s identity won’t matter. None of this will matter in the end.” 

“In the end?” 

“Once she calls the Final Aeon. Her pilgrimage is over, and it won’t matter. Being married to you, whether you stay on Spira or not, is irrelevant.” 

“If I do go back in the end, will Yuna be able to marry again? Is that legal here? Dumb question, I know...” 

“It’s legal. But she probably won’t.” 

“And she’s okay with that?” 

“Yuna knows all the consequences of her decisions. She may be naïve and hopeful, but she isn’t ignorant.” 

Before the conversation could progress, there was a growl from the tall grass before a wolf fiend leapt from its hiding place, and the guardians fell into battle. 

—

Next on the chopping block was Wakka. 

Or rather, he was the chopper, and Tidus the choppee.

He grabbed Tidus by the head, forcing his face into his armpit and nooging his head. “I told you not to go getting any ideas!” 

Tidus nearly puked, but broke out of the grapple before he could die. “And I told you no promises!” He wiped his face with his sleeve. “It’s not my fault I’m ridiculously charming.” 

Wakka huffed, “‘Ridiculously charming’ yeah right. I saw you talking on the boat. You were flirting with her!” 

“If being nice and talking to her is flirting here, then I don’t want to know what my actual flirting game looks like in your eyes.” 

Wakka rubbed the back of his head. “I should have seen this coming. Yuna doesn’t know a lot of boys her age. It was only a matter of time before she got a crush on you.”

“So because I’m her age, and around, she was bound to like me? Is that what you’re saying? Really?” 

“...you’re right. That makes Yuna sound shallow. Still...I wish it hadn’t been you.” 

“Wow, thanks a lot man. Didn’t know you had such a poor opinion of me.” 

Wakka groaned loudly, catching the attention of everyone else. He waved them on, and pulled Tidus back a little further. “You’re cool, dude. Honest. I just...do you remember the story of Lady Yunalesca and Lord Zaon?” 

“No.” 

“Well, Lady Yunalesca is the first summoner to ever defeat Sin. And she did it with her guardian, her lover and husband Lord Zaon at her side. It’s a love story that everyone fantasizes about having one day. Yuna has the capabilities to be just like Lady Yunalesca. But you...you’re no Lord Zaon.” 

“So? Maybe a Lord Zaon isn’t what she needs.” 

“What she needs is someone to support her. Someone who knows what’s going on, who doesn’t need her to hold their hand and explain everything to. I’m really not trying to be mean, brother, but that Sin toxin messing with your head is a major point against you.” 

Tidus understood exactly what he was talking about. He had gotten in plenty of hot water with people when he flubbed up some religious practice. Even simple questions were treated like heresy. 

If you couldn’t ask questions about your faith, and you just followed what everyone said, was it even your own belief? Or just blind obedience? That was something that was nagging him about Yevon. And maybe that was an indication that he would just be trouble for Yuna. 

“Yuna needs a strong, smart, level headed pillar…not a doofus.” 

“I’m not that big of a doofus.” Tidus scuffed his boot against the ground. “But I get it. My ignorance is a boo-boo.” 

“Other than that, I’ve got no complaints!” Wakka protested. “You’re nice, make some really great jokes, you’re a decent fighter and only getting better…”

“What, you put me down only so you can butter me up? Pick a mood, man!” 

“Sorry, sorry, I just…was surprised. When she proposed. I understand why, I’m just…” 

“I get it. And now I know your opinion on the matter.” 

“What did Sir Auron say?”

Tidus shrugged. “Danced around the topic. Made some good points, but ultimately decided it didn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter?”

“Probably as long as Yuna continues her pilgrimage, he doesn’t care about her love life. I’m definitely not going to try to stop her. She has an amazing goal ahead of her.”

“Yeah…” Wakka shrugged. “It’s a little terrifying too. Exciting to be a part of it, but...” 

“Daunting.” He finished for him. 

“Yeah. That’s a good word for it.” He rubbed his shoulders. “Anyways, if you do decide to take Yuna up on her offer, there won’t be any hard feelings, okay? Yuna makes her decisions, and she’s put this one in your hands. I can’t stop her or you.” 

“But if you could?” 

“I already told her what I told you.” 

“You told her I was a doofus?” 

“More or less.” 

“Thanks.” 

“She still proposed. My guess is she already knew.” 

“She’s at least kind enough not to say it to my face.” 

Wakka chuckled. “She’s too nice for her own good.” 

“Can I say something and you not get mad at me?” 

“No guarantees.” 

Tidus chuckled. “Remember when we were in Kilika and Dona was there, and saying all that crap, and Yuna very politely but firmly told her to move on?” 

“Yeah?” 

“It was extremely hot.” 

Wakka barked a laugh. “Glad to know you like a woman being stern with you.” 

Tidus shrugged. “Maybe. Back in Zanarkand, I had a lot of girls doing whatever they could to get with me. It got really annoying after a while.” 

“Oh, Mr. Hotshot blitzball player, star of the Zanarkand Abes! Player and most beloved bachelor, ya? Sounds like a real delusion. You must have inhaled a lot of that toxin.” 

“Yeah,” Tidus scoffed. “About a thousand years worth. I thought you were starting to believe me?” 

“I was, but then you started talking about your groupies and now I’m not so sure.” 

“Look, if you’re not going to be helpful, then I might as well go talk to someone else.” He spotted the next closest guardian and spoke a little louder. “Hey Kimahri!” 

The Ronso glanced at him, eyes narrowed in that stoic way he always was. 

“I was wondering, what’s your opinion on Yuna’s proposal? Should I say yes?” 

Kimahri lowered his head in thought, but only for a moment, before raising a large paw and whacking Tidus on the back, like you would a friend. 

Then he walked away. 

“What was that supposed to mean?” 

Wakka chuckled. “I think it’s free for interpretation.” 

—

They came across many people on the Mi'ihen Highroad. An old scholar with the dustiest voice he’d ever heard, an acolyte of Yevon named Sholanda—Shinda? Shish Kabob—Tidus could never keep these people’s names straight. A thousand years is plenty of time for words to evolve. 

And then there was Belgemine. A summoner, and a nice one, for once. A breath of fresh air compared to Dona. 

Yuna accepted the friendly spar, grateful for the chance to learn and grow. The guardians stepped back, and offered plenty of room for the magic storm that was to unfold. 

Belgemine had a new aeon to Tidus. A werewolf on fire, with nasty horns and claws. 

This must be the aeon from Kilika, though he didn’t hear what name Yuna gave hers. 

‘Hot Dog’ would have to do. 

Yuna raised her staff, and drew it back like the bow on a cello. The glyph appeared, and the summoning began. 

It was just as awe inspiring as the first time he had seen ‘Big Bird’ in Besaid, and every time after. Each direction she gave her aeon was lethal to any man or fiend, but Belgemine’s aeon took hit after hit. 

He wanted to cheer, if he hadn’t been too entranced by all the sparking lights. 

“Your mouth is open,” commented Lulu, dryly. 

He snapped it shut. “Oh. Yeah...I just can’t get over how cool these summons are. Yuna’s so talented.” 

“Her prayers are strong. The Fayth hears them, and the aeon reflects that strength. The more resolve, the more powerful the aeon.” 

“So Yuna is really determined to fight Sin, huh?” 

“Personally, I believe that she thinks she has no other option. She is her father’s daughter. What would anyone else expect of her?” 

“Kinda crappy on their part. Yuna has more merit than just who her dad is.” 

“To you and I, of course. But to the rest of Spira, a bunch of strangers, she’s a beacon of hope.” 

Tidus considered that a moment, hearing the phrase repeated time and time again. He wondered who they were trying to convince. 

“Would Yuna taking a husband blot out that beacon?”

It was Lulu’s turn to be silent, as Yuna’s aeon created a burst of light and Belgemine’s dog turned into pyreflies. 

“Yuna’s journey will not be easy. Yevon demands their summoners to never show sorrow or worry, but she is still young. She could use someone to share the burden with.” 

“So...is that a yes? I should take Yuna up on the proposal?” 

“I’m still trying to rationalize it out.” She said honestly. But the coldness in which she usually answered his dumb questions with was absent. “As a woman, who had loved and lost, there is something so simple and innocent as wanting to find your Prince Charming and live happily ever after. Not many do. The uncertainty of life on Spira doesn’t allow much for waiting and hoping.”

“So this is pretty normal? Knowing someone for a week and then proposing?” 

“For some. For Chappu and I, we thought we had plenty of time. We were both accomplished fighters, and we were sensible. There was no reason to rush. I don’t like having regrets, or wondering what things would have been different if I had made another choice. The past is the past. But, other people might have the right idea in rushing.” 

“So...yes?” 

“Are you that eager?” She smirked. 

“I don’t know! I never thought about getting married. I thought, hey, someday, if I meet the right girl...I didn’t exactly have a great example of domestic bliss in my own life. But it was something to think about when I was older. Now was for partying, flirting with the cute fans, getting my game right!” He sighed. “At least it was, until I came here. Now it’s surviving, and being prepared to take the hit for her. I...don’t even want to play blitzball anymore.” 

“So you’ve talked to the others?” 

“Yeah. Got a hard no, a vague back pat, and a ‘it doesn’t matter.’” 

She scoffed. “Men. Well? What do you want? Yuna gave you the choice.” 

“But do I choose what I want, or what’s right?” 

“They aren’t the same answer?” 

“I...honestly don’t know.”

—

They arrived at the Al Bhed inn in the evening when the sun was still high. Tidus found it greatly satisfying to see Auron not putting up with the blatant racism from Wakka, and they took out rooms for the night. One cramped room for the guys, and one for the girls. 

How would that work if he and Yuna got married? Would Lulu still stay in the room? Would she get one of her own?

It was crazy that he was even thinking about it. This wasn’t the kind of person he was. How many marriage proposals did he get daily from random girls back in Zanarkand? Dozens. 

And how often did he entertain the idea of agreeing? Not once. Sure, he soaked in the thrill and flattery of it all, but not one of those girls had made him consider taking a vow. 

So what was it with Yuna? He’d known her a little over a week, and most of that week was met with hostile glances from the other guardians. 

But she was so easy to want to protect, to want to talk to, and to be around. 

And maybe, even easy to lo—

Mm, maybe he wasn’t there yet. He definitely liked her though. But marriage!?

Sleep didn’t come easy. He was certainly physically tired, after saving Yuna from being kidnapped that morning, playing a game of Blitz, and the fight with all the fiends after…

But his mind was a wreck. For a little bit, he thought he might have had a dream—or rather, a nightmare. His old man, huge and bloated and horrible, writhing like the monster he had seen as Sin. Yuna stood near, her blue eye filled with ice, her green with fire. And she stared right at him, face unreadable with the neutral, emotionless summoner facade she always had to wear. 

“You would have your wife kill your father? How could you be so cruel?”

And then he woke up. 

Auron was gone, though Wakka and Kimahri were asleep on the other side of the room. After that disturbing vision, he doubted he would be getting any sort of sleep for a while. So he rose, and went outside to see if he could find Auron. 

The sun was setting. Auron stood just outside the Inn, watching Yuna who sat in the grass, cliff side. 

They hadn’t talked since the proposal. Things were too awkward, and he still didn’t have an answer for her. 

It seemed like Auron didn’t care, as he shoved him forward. 

Tidus pinwheeled before he could fall on his face, though the sound caught Yuna’s attention and she turned to look at him. 

“Uh--howdy?”

She smiled at him. “Couldn’t sleep either?”

“Nah, not really. Can I join you?”

She patted the grass beside her, and he sat carefully, keeping a little distance between them. 

Several moments passed in silence as Yuna stared out at the sunset. “It’s so pretty.” 

“Yeah. Real peaceful.” 

“I’d love to live in a place like this…someday. Someplace where everything seems calm and beautiful.” 

“It’s much different from back home.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…my Zanarkand never sleeps…or slept. People coming and going all night long, businesses open all the time, lights replacing the moon and stars. It was a different kind of beauty.”

“I’d like to see it. At least once.” 

“Maybe you will. Who knows?”

“Yeah…who knows?”

They sat in silence, that was not unpleasant, for a few minutes, before Tidus began, awkwardly. “I’ve been thinking about your proposal. I don’t have an answer for you yet. And for that, I’m really sorry.” 

She shook her head. “Don’t be. I sprung it on you. Feel free to think things through.”

“Thank you. I was telling Lulu…back home, marriage wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities. It was all partying and Blitzball. Since coming here, I’ve had to reframe my mind.” 

She suddenly gasped. “I didn’t even think to ask you! You don’t have a girl waiting for you back in Zanarkand, do you?”

He groaned, but then laughed. “I mean, I guess I did. But I probably would have broken up with her when I got back anyway.” 

“I’m so sorry! Did you love her?”

He shook his head. “Janni was…a girl I was in school with. She asked me out. Or, she declared that we were now dating. This was before I went pro with Blitzball, when I was just playing with my school. I was shy and nervous, and when she asked me out, I was like, ‘yeah sure! I’ll date a pretty girl!’” He huffed. “She was a whirlwind of dysfunction. Not that I come from a wholesome family, but…she would always play these mind games with me. When I first went pro, she was excited for me, but then quickly turned around and said I wasn’t paying enough attention to her. Then when I would try to do nice things for her, she would claim I was being too clingy.” 

“She sounds fickle,” Yuna said, with her mouth scrunched up. 

“There was a phrase where I come from, that goes: ‘don’t stick your dick in crazy’.” 

Yuna blushed. “They speak about sex so openly in Zanarkand?” 

“Depending on the company you keep. Anyways, I never slept with her, even though I know she wanted to, just because I got this sinking feeling that something bad would happen if I did. So, she would often break up with me, and go see another man. Then when that didn’t work out, she came back and demanded that we were together again.” 

“And you just went with it?” 

“Yeah. It’s pretty dumb...we were both immature, and I made plenty of mistakes too, but I just felt like I had invested so much time with her already, that refusing her would have made all of that a waste.” 

Yuna sniffed slightly as her lip trembled. “That’s so awful.” 

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have brought her up! I know you said you liked me...” 

She shook her head. “That’s not it. I’m heartbroken that someone would take advantage of you like that. That she just...assumed you’d be waiting for her, so she could fool around! That’s cruel!” 

He sighed. “I don’t know why, but hearing you say that makes me feel a lot better.” 

“Tidus, you deserve to be loved and cherished.” She said it so seriously, he felt it in his chest. It made it hard to swallow. 

“Thank you, Yuna. You do too, you know?” 

She just gave him a soft smile and returned her gaze to the rapidly disappearing sun.

[withabackpackandcamera]

July 5th, 2021

Day 10: Meeting Up With A Friend Before A Sprint To The Finish Line

This morning, because my parents had an earlier flight home than we did, we woke up to drop them off at the airport before coming back home to finish some last minute laundry, packing, and cleaning up. The only real thing on our last day’s schedule was a meet-up with Kristin Julia Erlingsdottir (pronounced “Christine” in Iceland), a pediatric resident in Iceland who I met 4.5 years ago when we were both medical students doing rotations at Landspitali. Even though we didn’t rotate together at Landspitali, we met each other in the cafeteria through other students who went to school in Slovakia with Kristin and since then, we have kept in touch via Instagram. So the plan this morning was to grab a quick breakfast with Kristin before flying home. 

Because Minh didn’t want to join for breakfast, he ended up doing his own thing for an hour or two while Cynthia and I went out to meet with Kristin at a cafe nearby. Along the way to the cafe, because we wanted to load up on yummy pastries to take home from Sandholt, I dropped Cynthia off to buy them while I went on ahead to Grai Kotturinn, a cafe down the street, to meet with Kristin first. But before I left, we learned that Sandholt wasn’t selling any almond croissants today. So sad. But I did get a chance to take a look at and pick out the pastries I was interested in trying, with Cynthia eventually settling for a cranberry scone, two cinnamon rolls, a brown sugar roll with cream cheese, and a pain au raisin. That’ll probably do the trick. 

So after I left Cynthia, I walked over to Grai Kotturinn, a cafe that Kristin had suggested nearby, to meet up with her after her night shift at the hospital. I was very grateful to Kristin for making time to meet up with us despite her busy residency schedule, and I was glad that I could actually fit her into my tight schedule as well. Anyhow, once I approached the cafe, I recognized her standing outside in her stylish all-black outfit and greeted her. It was so nice to see her again after all these years, even though we weren’t best buds but just quick friends from a brief time together. 

Because there was a line at Grai Kotturinn, we stood outside for a bit and started catching up about our individual lives in medicine in our respective countries while waiting for Cynthia to join up. Before long, Cynthia had arrived but the line hadn’t really budged. Because of how tight we were on time and how I didn’t want to make Kristin take too much time out of her morning waiting in line for food, we pivoted and changed course with regards to where to eat. Because both Grai Kotturinn and Sandholt had waits due to the recent influx of tourists, Kristin suggested that we drive over to a spot further from downtown called Kaffihús Vesturbæjar to skip the lines. We agreed, and she drove us over to Kaffihús Vesturbæjar for breakfast. 

We arrived at Kaffihús Vesturbæjar pretty early so their lunch menu wasn’t yet available. So, despite all the great suggestions that Kristin had on food options, we ended up having to choose some breakfast items from their simple breakfast menu, with me and Cynthia ordering a ham and cheese croissant to go with our pain au raisin we bought from Sandholt earlier. The cafe meet-up wasn’t really about eating so much as it was about finding a comfy place to catch up and share stories. And even though the food at Kaffihús Vesturbæjar was OK, the cafe was the perfect place to sit and chat for a little less than two hours. And Cynthia and I had a terrific time chatting with Kristin and learning more about her life before and during residency (like how she grew up briefly in Oklahoma, how she was sort of out of place as a returning Icelander once she was back in Reykjavik, about her doctor boo, how her pediatric residency has been, and about traveling, education, Icelanders, real estate, tourism). We also enjoyed sharing our stories with her too and I could tell that she really enjoyed the company. It was really great to find yet another opportunity to catch up with a local friend. Trips are always so much better when you can do something like that. Thank you again Kristin for making time after a busy night shift to meet up with us! 

Before we knew it, we were running tight on time because of how much fun we were having with Kristin at Kaffihús Vesturbæjar . Luckily, we saved some time when Kristin offered to drop us off at home. Once we were home, we thanked her and said our goodbyes. With Minh already home and relatively ready to go, Cynthia and I quickly finished packing our stuff before loading all of it into the car. After one last sweep of the flat, we left for one more quick visit to downtown for last minute souvenirs. Cynthia and I ran through downtown looking for things we thought we might want to buy but eventually decided not to buy anything at all. So we hurried back to the car where Minh was waiting and headed for the airport. It was nice to get a last jog in through Reykjavik before flying out! 

Once we were close to the airport, we made a pit stop at the grocery store where we had previously stopped on the first day to buy some chocolates for friends. Then we stopped by Subway to buy some subs for the long trip home before driving to Blue Car Rental to drop off our rental. Funny enough, we ran into Will and Mary again at Blue Car Rental and shared stories about our respective trips while walking over together to the departures terminal. Once we were in line (it was a very long check-in line at Icelandair because of all the Americans heading home after the long weekend), we had this awkward “see-you-every-few-minutes” situation with Will and Mary because of where we were positioned relative to them in line. So we didn’t get to catch up much after that. After chowing down on our food and getting through the line, security, and passport control, we finally made it to our gate, where we waited longer than expected to finally board our long flight home. 

Iceland, it was great seeing you again. And it was great finally introducing you to my parents and Cynthia. I’m not sure when I’ll get to see you, your beautiful landscapes, and your nice people again but when the time comes, I’ll be excited to come back for my fourth visit. Till then! Takk takk! 

5 Things I Learned/Observed Today:

1. It takes a lot of years to finish a pediatric residency in Iceland. Per Kristin, you can only do two years of training in Iceland (after one required internship year) before having to apply to pediatric programs outside of the country to complete your five years of pediatrics training (six years including the one internship year). The reason why pediatrics residents have to leave Iceland for their last three years is because the program is small and because the hospitals in Iceland see such small volumes of kids that residents don’t get enough exposure to be properly trained. Therefore, they have to get more exposure in other countries in other programs. For example, most people, if good enough, will go to Sweden to continue their training or they can go to a different Nordic country. Surprisingly, the Iceland peds program has a partnership with a Connecticut pediatrics program and they send one or two students a year there. 

2. In the Icelandic pediatric program, when you’re working nights, as Kristin was doing, you work the pediatric wards as well as the NICU (there is no PICU at Landspitali). Luckily, the ED has their own resident so they don’t have to cover that at the same time. Very fortunate. 

3. Interestingly enough, pediatric illness in Iceland came about very late this year as a result of the COVID pandemic and restrictions that came with it. For example, from what Kristin saw, RSV cases peaked in June instead of way earlier in the year in winter. And they had zero cases of the flu (though I’m not sure if that was just among kids or among both kids and adults). And pediatric gastroenteritis was only starting to appear in early July, which is a bit delayed as well. I’m sure public health and epidemiology data from this COVID period will be fascinating to look back at and study in every country.

4. Here in Iceland, people are primarily vaccinated with AstraZeneca, Pfizer, and Janssen vaccines. And unlike the case in America, most people in Iceland are itching to get their vaccinations and are ready to run up when their name is randomly drawn. Additionally, it sounds like Icelanders have vaccine envy of others. That’s crazy and so good! And the great thing about all of this is that around 80% of the country is at least partially vaccinated against COVID, which is the best percentage among all EU related countries. Good for you, Iceland! Keep up the great work! 

5. At this time in Iceland, the government is pushing Icelanders to buy homes instead of renting. To incentivize people to buy, banks and other financial institutions are offering ridiculously low interest rates for home loans with rates at a historic low. And people have been able to borrow significant amounts of money for their home. For example, Kristin was able to get a loan with a really low interest rate that covers 95% of the cost of the home. Her flat is a 2-bedroom apartment located in downtown Reykjavik (close to where Sveinn lives). Cost: 53 million Icelandic krona (around $420k). That’s insane! Especially compared to the hellish housing market in Los Angeles. I wish it was that cheap in Los Angeles...

[aliteralpixie]

Promo #65 Clarissa/Alex

"Look at me-- just breathe, okay?"

Clarissa's voice is as harsh as ever. Only, it's a different sort of harshness. Softer than her usual ire. It's only after nights upon hellish nights on that island that Alex has learned to tell the difference. Maybe with a little help from Sunken bringing the worst of themselves to the surface.

Alex takes one breath and lets it out slow, fighting back the panic that'd suddenly overtaken her at the burst of static over the loudspeaker. She takes another breath and now the static is just that; static. No voices are murmuring just outside of her understanding. 

Taunting her. Teasing her. Telling her all about the ways she'll mess up this time and send them all careening back to the start of that night.

It's the weight of Clarissa's hand on her shoulder that finally draws Alex back to the present. Reminding her that they're in the Stop-n-Go to pick up some snacks while Nona holds down the fort back at Alex's house. The island is miles away with an entire bay between them.

"I'm fine," Alex lies.

Clarissa, for her part, scoffs at the idea. "None of us are okay, Alex," she says in that voice that pierces through all kinds of bullshit. Voicing the very thoughts Alex had been holding back.

Why else would she have invited the two girls over to spend the weekend when Jonas and Ren got it into their heads to go on a road trip?

There's a bitterness behind her words and for the twenty-third time, Alex finds herself wondering how much Clarissa remembers. Can she recall the press of lips, wet with tears? Or the dig of rope as it tightens its hold? Desperate confessions that never went anywhere because of course things would loop back to zero.

Alex has lots of questions and maybe that's what Clarissa sees when she looks her in the eye because she doesn't say anything else after that, but her hand lingers on Alex, rubbing gently. It's so unlike the old Clarissa that Alex draws away, stoops to pick up the box of cereal she'd dropped when the static first screeched out over the intercom. When she stands back up, Clarissa has commandeered the shopping cart, already halfway full.

"Thanks, by the way," Alex says, placing the box with the rest of their haul so far.

"For what?" Clarissa fires back, and when Alex looks back up, she finds Clarissa's brow is arched expectantly, and all of the things Alex meant to say go flying out the window with the quickening of her pulse.

"For... You know..." Alex trails off. There's just so much. For not giving up. For giving her a second chance. For pushing her in just the right ways to make it through that hellish night. "For lots of stuff," she finishes lamely and mentally kicks herself.

Alex can tell by the set of Clarissa's frown that she's not convinced. Again she wonders how much any of them can remember.

Or was it all just one hellish night for them?

"Alex!" 

Clarissa's voice cuts through the static that threatens to overwhelm Alex yet again, and when she opens her eyes, Clarissa is right there. Her eyes are such a lovely brown. Umber, if she remembers last year's art class correctly. And maybe Alex stares too long without a word because Clarissa's brow furrows and her mouth turns down sharply at the corners. 

"Breathe."

It's not a suggestion or advice, but an instruction. One that Alex can't help but follow because she knows Clarissa is right. She breathes in and out; once, twice, three times before brushing Clarissa's hand away, pushing down the desire to lean into her touch.

"Let's just get this over with. Nona's probably wondering what's taking so long." The island changed her. It changed all of them. Destroyed a friendship she never once thought would end, repaired a bridge long since burned. Alex takes hold of the shopping cart once more and starts moving down the aisle, leaving Clarissa to stare after her before she quickly falls into step beside her.

"What Nona is, Alex, is worried about you. Shit, we all are." Clarissa looks like she has more to say but Alex is already exiting the aisle and pushing her way up to the register.

They don't talk about what happened around others. Who would even believe them?

The cashier checks them out in silence.  Clarissa pays, silencing any protests from Alex with a sharp glare. Neither of them says much after that. Alex fires off a text to Nona as she piles into Clarissa's car, saying they're on their way back. She steals a glance at Clarissa, frowning when she sees the way she grips the wheel, turns the key with an aggressive twist, and pulls out of the parking lot.

Alex doesn't think they'll be watching many movies tonight.