#this show really changed my life I will forever be greatful it exists

[incredipuppy]

Happy anniversary to Tangled the Series(And happy birthday to Varian!!)

[strwbrymlkshake]

I wanna post about my recovery + ramble in tags at the same time but I'm not motivated enough to come up with a mediocre yandere post rn , so just know that my life is going?? Somewhat good in terms of romance

[redbullgirly]

HI BABRIE! HI KEN! [part 3, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x pregnant!reader [social media au]

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau] & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 2, LH 44 smau]

Summary: Lewis and his "real-life Barbie" girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N have a secret they keep from the fans. Though it's only matter of time before they announce the happy news... it's not like it can stay hidden forever anyways.

Warnings: Pregnancy. Slight hate and bodyshaming towards Y/N. If you're not in the right headspace, please don't read it!🫶

Author's Note: After quite some time, hello! I'm so sorry this took so long, but life has been so busy and hectic last month I simply didn't have time and energy to write this sooner. Though I'm very glad for everyone who waited for this part and I hope you'll like it. It's probably not the last one, I have few ideas for more parts. But I don't want to promise anything, we all know how long this part took XD.

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by orlandobloom, f1, sebastianvettel, emmawatson and others

tagged: yourcharity

lewishamilton So proud to support charity program for the involvement of children from disadvantaged families in sports yourusername has been working on for a few years now. All money raised from the friendly basketball match goes to the fond of the charity. Let's change lives of these talented kids together! 💫🙏🏾

view all 18,349 comments

user1 basketball players should be grateful our king chose to be f1 driver 😌

user2 fr

yourusername together we can change the world for better!! 💫💕

liked by the author

user3 You make our lives better by existing Y/N😍😍

user4 I think this is too idealistic lol

user5 queen speaking facts and keeping us motivated

user6 LET HER COOK 🗣🗣🗣

user7 Sir Lewis Hamilton is Sir for a reason 👑

mercedesamgf1 🙏🤍

user8 even though he'll be driving for ferrari next year mercedes still supports him!!!

user9 and what did you think? that they'll ignore him or hate him suddenly? he still got a whole season w them 🤣 plus it's all marketing

user10 nah i'll just live in delusion that admin loves lewis & y/n🥰🥰🥰🥰

user11 I love how you use your platform to raise awareness

user12 omg he's so hot 🥵

user13 Wait, why is Lewis at Y/N's charity event instead of her? I usually support her, but this is just weird... why can't she stand up for her own thing?

user14 RIGHT?! idk why she didn't even bother showing there

user15 Honestly I think that Lewis going there brings more attention to it than just her going there, and it's a good thing people are noticing this organization. Though I don't understand why she didn't go there as well 🤷‍♀️

user16 guys stop wtf she could be sick or smth

user14 or she's just another attention seeker... never liked her tbh

user16 the only attention seeker here is u user14 get a life and stop hating 😘

user14 i'm not hating, i'm stating facts and unlike y/n i don't need a man to do shit for me lmfao

user17 Y'all are really getting mad over nothing xddd

user18 Amazing work! 👏 you make the difference, Lewis😍🖤💛

user19 the fact he has pink pants bc it's y/n's fav color and it's for a charity event she helped organize... i want a man like him 😩

user20 He's down bad for her!!!

user21 I mean... who wouldn't, just look at her🤭

user22 fr what i'd give to talk to y/n once

user23 Our fashion barbie iconic Queen 💖💖

user24 Lew giving the little boy a fist bump🥹

user25 he is going to be a great dad one day

user24 Oh definitely!🫶

user26 can't wait for dad lewis

user27 omggg imagine little him and y/n running around the paddock 😭😭

user26 they'll be sooo cute istg

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, landonorris, isahernaez and 639,910 others

tagged: mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername japan grand prix w my favs 🇯🇵🤍

view all 4,249 comments

lewishamilton 🤍🤍

liked by the author

user1 awww i live for bf lewis

user2 YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER

user3 and who would that be user2 ?? you? lmfao u wish🤣🤣

user4 the disrespect of writing these things under HIS COMMENT where he shows SUPPORT to HIS GIRLFRIEND...

user5 Lewis & Y/N 4ever 🫶

user6 omg look at roscoe baby so cute

user7 the teeth I can't🥹

user8 It's Roscoe's world and we're just living in it fr

alexandrasaintmleux so prettyyy 🙏🌺

liked by lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername oh stoppp u are prettier 💓💐

user9 Girls supporting girls and wags supporting wags... that's what we like!!!!

user10 the fact lewis liked alex's comment w two accounts is the best thing that happened this week😭

user11 shut uppp I didn't even notice it before user10 😭 he's such a simp I love this 😭😭

user10 i knoooow😭

user12 finally you attended a grand prix this year!!!!

user13 😍😍😍😍😍

mercedesamgf1 It's always brighter with you in the paddock Barbie Y/N!💖

liked by the author, lewishamilton and carmenmmundt

yourusername next time i'm going all out w the pink 💖🫶

user14 the legend herselffff

user15 Admin is slaying and supporting Y/N 💁‍♀️

user16 MOTHER IS SERVING ONCE AGAIN🧎🏻‍♀️

roscoelovescoco Enjoying's dad's racing's w my's best's mum's ☺️🏎

yourusername enjoying dad racing w my best son 🥹💕

user17 not roscoe slowly learning y/n's slang and saying w instead of with🤭

user18 and the fact Lewis is the one really writing it... !!!!!

user19 They're such cute a family🥰

user20 mum and dad and son... I can't it's too adorable 🫠❤️‍🩹

user21 Literally the queen of f1 and gorgeousness keep slaying

user22 where is the usual barbie aesthetic?!😥

user23 fr I want pink dresses not blue trousers

user24 Guys she can wear whatever she wants

user23 yeah true but still... she already built that image so why not keep it wtf 🤷‍♀️

user25 Covering her fat stomach with the purse ewww 🤢🥴

user26 i wanna take u haters seriously... but I just can't xd

user27 if you have anger issues like me and don't like online trolls, pls stop scrolling people! there are so many dumb users from twitter in these comments!🙃

user28 I just don't get why they're hating on Y/N all of sudden... what did she ever do to them

user29 idk, probably bcs she wasn't active for a while (she was probably not feeling well or smth as she said in an interview few days back) and didn't attend any gp till japan this year (again she was probably sick so understandable)... plus lot of f1 "fans" are jealous bitches change my mind

user30 Internet always moves in waves and one time everybody loves u and then they hate u 😬

user31 yeah but it's so sad cause y/n is such a sweetheart🥺❤️

user32 I honestly wouldn't care about the haters if they didn't attack her body and the way she looks... that's down right embarrassing and disgusting

user33 AGREED user32

twitter & messages between Y/N and Lewis

lewishamilton and yourusername posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, shawnmendes, t22felton, charles_leclerc and 27,925,028 others

lewishamilton It's hard to put into words how happy and excited we are. Can't wait to hold our baby in a few months and support my dearest love on every step of the way. Feeling blessed right now 🤍🪐

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc Well, that's a shocking news I didn't know about this time...😂

charles_leclerc But big congratulations!❤️

yourusername yeah we needed to give u heart attack w smth too 😉💋

susie_wolff Congratulations Lewis and Y/N, you will be great parents! 💫🫶

yourusername thx susie, we have great role models in u and toto!!! ✨❤️‍🩹

lewishamilton 🫶🏾🫶🏾

kellypiquet what a great news!🥹

yourusername love u kelly 💕

sebastianvettel Many congratulations!

lewishamilton Thank you Seb!

yourusername will u be the fun uncle??? pls seb 🥹🙏

sebastianvettel If you'll make me their godfather....

yourusername done deal 🤝

lewishamilton I-... fair enough, done deal

fencer EXCUSE ME?!! THAT'S NOT FAIR

charles_leclerc Yeah what is this favorism?!

yourusername guys it's seb how could we say no 😌✨

charles_leclerc True... fair enough then I guess 🙂

fencer I still feel VERY offended

yourusername charles don't use that ironic emoji on me and fencer u can have the second child

lewishamilton Darling that sounds like you're sacrificing our second child while the first one isn't even born yet...

yourusername whoops 🫢🙈

sebastianvettel Do you realize this is not a private conversation?

yourusername actually u can set selected comments private seb 😁

charles_leclerc Wait seriously?!

lewishamilton No, she's just testing if he's old enough to believe her 🙄

yourusername you're sour bc u believed me the first time i tried it love ☺️🫶

sebastianvettel This is exactly why I didn't have Instagram sooner.

charles_lecerc We love you Seb!❤️

yourusername yeah we do love u our new godfather!!!!💖

mercedesamgf1 Congratulations from the whole team!🤩🤍

liked by the author

alexandrasaintmleux awww so happy for both of u!💞

yourusername hope you're prepared to be the fav auntie 🤭💋

alexandrasaintmleux anything for my little nephew or niece hamilton 🫡

scuderiaferrari The next world champion on the way?😍❤️

yourusername pls i hope they'll stay far away from racing 😭

scuderiaferrari Well... then we'll at least get another tifosi 😉

georgerussell68 Wishing all the best mate!

liked by the author

landonorris Wooohooo congrats!!!

landonorris Wait- do y'all realize you'll be parents now? Like real REAL parents of an actual child?!

yourusername yeah lando that's how it usually works when u get pregnant 😊

landonorris Yeah but... wait! The child needs to be McLaren fan!

yourusername your mission to get all hamiltons to be your fan is getting more complicated, isn't it? 😂🫢

landonorris Shhhh Y/N it's a secret mission 🤫

yourusername oh my bad sry

yourusername wait why do i know about it then???

landonorris Ehhh... miscalculation?

yourusername tf lando 😭

lewishamilton I'm starting to think this baby will be our second child and Lando is our first...

landonorris Wow so can I officially say Lewis Hamilton is my daddy now?😀

lewishamilton NO

yourusername lando don't you dare or istg

landonorris Byeee parents!! 🤗

f1 Let's go! 💖👶

francisca.cgomes babyyyyy 🤎🍂

pierregasly Why the leaves?

francisca.cgomes bcs it's an autumn babyyyyy

yourusername love u kika 💕

pierregasly Oh congrats by the way!🫶

yourusername thx pierre 💕

logansargeant RAAAAAHHH 🇺🇸🦅

logansargeant Sorry alex_albon took my phone 😒 I wanted to say congratulations!🤍

alex_albon 😇

yourusername lol

yourusername but thx sm logan, you're such a sweetheart! 🫶

lilymhe I swear it'll be the cutest baby ever

yourusername babe it'll totally will if u say so 💋

kevinmagnussen 🙌

hulkhulkenberg Welcome to the dad's club on the grid Lewis! 😉

liked by the author

oscarpiastri What a happy day, congratulations! 🧡

yourusername what's the orange heart doing here oscahh??? 🤨

oscarpiastri 💖

oscarpiastri Better now?

yourusername thx oscar sm for the congrats!🥰 also you should use my signature heart emoji more often 💖

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by haileybieber, martagarcialopez19, mercedesamgf1 and 834,981 others

tagged: lewishamilton and alexandrasaintmleux

yourusername enjoying the barbie life 💖💐

view all 2,013 comments

lewishamilton Beautiful, gorgeous and my Barbie!

yourusername awww my ken 💞🫶

user1 omg i love them sm

user2 I wanna have what they have

user3 the effect bf Lewis has on me should be studied 😩

user4 Just the fact he usually isn't active on ig and doesn't comment or anything... and she is the only exception😭🤭

user5 gorgeous literally so gorgeous

user6 The baby bump 🥹🥹

user7 and she looks so good with it too 🥹🥹

alexandrasaintmleux such good times hanging out with my fav barbie! 💋💖

yourusername the best times girly!!! 💕

user8 i live for this friendship

user9 Imagine these two next year in Ferrari garage together!😍

user10 literally the only good thing coming out of lewis leaving mercedes

user11 fr fr user10

user12 Are those flowers from Lewis???

roscoelovescoco Yeah's they'res from's dad's 🌻☺️

user13 OH MY GOD ROSCOE HIIII

user12 Can't believe Lewis Hamilton replied to my comment as his dog 😭

user13 lol user12 u really won life xd

user14 this is sooo cuteee 😻

user15 You and Alex look so good together! Hope you'll be friends forever!

kellypiquet where's the bag from? it's so pretty! 😍🤍

yourusername idk lew gave it to me for christmas last year... i'll ask and let u know!! 🤍🫶

kellypiquet 🫶

user16 The queens of the paddock right here 🙌

user17 still can't believe y/n & lewis are going to be parent in a few months

user18 RIGHT?! It's like a fever dream for me 😭

user19 Yeah i was excited for dad Lewis so long that now I can't believe it's finally happening 🤭❤️

user20 the best wag right here

user21 and soon the best mum!

user22 Ur STUNNING 😭💖

user23 Woman 💅

user24 proud to say i never hated on Y/N

user25 YES

user26 always knew she's the queen 👸💗

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by naomischiff, gigihadid, susie_wolff, riabish and 2,452,906 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton My beautiful Barbie. The love of my life. My partner for good times and bad times. Mother of my child. The only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Y/N Y/L/N. 💖💫

view all 31,274 comments

yourusername can't describe in words how much i love u lew!!! 💖💫

lewishamilton Love you too darling, so much!

user1 I can't 😭

user2 i wanna have what they have

user3 THE BEST COUPLE EVER

user4 if they ever break up love isn't real

user5 I'll tell my children they are the original Barbie & Ken

user6 my parents 🥰

user7 y'all don't understand how much i love them

user8 The best parents ever!!!!

roscoelovescoco Mums looking's gorgeous 🥹☀️

lewishamilton She in fact is.

yourusername my boys making me cry 🥹💓

roscoelovescoco Oh's no's mums don't cry's 🙁

yourusername don't worry baby it's happy tears 💞

user9 now I'm crying too... this is so sweet

user10 The reason they're my favs😍

user11 why is this so precious 😭😭

user12 so prettyyyy

kellypiquet Our Barbie looking like a goddess!💅🏻💝

liked by the author

yourusername thx kelly!!!💕

user13 she's fr glowing 😻

user14 Thought she can't get more beautiful than she was before but pregnancy proved me wrong

user15 MARRY HER

user16 we love bf lewis dedicating whole post to y/n 🤭🤭

voguemagazine 🤩📸

user17 ariana what are u doing here?!??!!

user18 Even Vogue is an Y/N fan and we love it

user19 y'all don't understand how bad i need her to be on the cover of vogue or some other magazine 😩

user20 OMG user19 SHE WOULD SLAY IT TOO HARD

user21 You should marry her now!!! 💍💍

liked by roscoelovescoco

user22 heyyy did someone else see lewis like it and then un-like it?!😧

user21 When the notification of roscoelovescoco liking my comment came up on my phone I nearly dropped it and screamed... like what? Excuse me sir!!! 😃

user23 LOL I love how he goes savage liking comments w his dog's account and then regrets it immediately xd

user24 guuuyyyssss what if it means we'll get proposal soon???☺️

user21 I wish!!!!

twitter

THE END

Author's Note: Thank you for reading it to the end! I'll be very grateful for likes, comments, reblogs and every other sign of support. Also you can let me know if you think baby Hamilton will be a girl or boy 🤭. Have a great weekend! (Btw if someone wants to talk about their predictions for Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, they're welcomed bcs I don't have anyone to talk to about it XD)

Taglist: @namgification @hc-dutch @bloodyymaryyy @nat-lh-44 @cosmoscoffeee @daniellef89x @xoscar03 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @nathalielovesonedirection @raizelchrysanderoctavius @leclerc16s @carpediem241108 @onecojg (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

can we get soft angst hcs of caine comforting a reader who entered the circus but found solace in escaping their old life?

Dang it didn't take long for the requests to come in haha, but yessss I'm eager to write for TADC now!! (just note my hcs/interpretations of the characters will change as more episodes come out).

.......

When you first arrived to the circus not long after Pomni, Caine was worried that you were going to freak out over trying to find an exit (that definitely does NOT exist).

So he just cuts to the chase and states you're stuck here forever. There's no exit doors or hidden portals or secret keys, so you can just give up on returning to your old life altogether.

But you don't look scared in the slightest.

Confused? Yes. Certainly.

However once you've taken in all this information, you just stand there with a smile and a relaxed posture--a display that concerns Caine a lot.

"They seem happy, boss.." Bubble whispers. "Is that a good sign?"

"Not sure. Never seen anybody react this way. Maybe they're just holding it all in and pretending to be fine when they're really no--WOAH, stop the presses!!!" His eyes bulge out of his head/mouth(?) as he sees the tears running down your cheeks. "You're crying more than Gangle does on Tuesday! Is it true that you were masking your emotions????"

"..huh? What..oh no!" You laugh and wipe away the tears, before explaining to the ringmaster that you were indeed very happy.

You spoke of how sad and dull your life was outside of this game.

It was your escape, a comfort, and you've been a huge supporter of its development over the years.

Even in your sleep, you never stopped thinking about it--you always had dreams of being in this very circus, having loads of fun with the other characters and joining their wacky adventures.

So to learn that (somehow) you became a permanent part of the game is literally a dream come true!

Of course, you weren't expecting the presence of the Abstracted and Pomni's constant freakouts, but you couldn't be happier.

Caine was surprised that you remembered so much of your old life (whereas poor Pomni couldn't even recall her own name).

But he sees you're content with starting a new life here in the Digital Circus and grins, eager to plan some exciting fun and games for you to enjoy.

He will, however, make a point to pair you with Pomni so you could help her calm down and show her that being in this virtual world wasn't so bad.

It's probably not the best idea, though, as nothing you say comforts her.

"I mean, your old life could've been really bad and-"

"But what if it was good? What if I had tons of friends and a great family and a successful job and.....oh god..what if I had PETS?!!!" She wails. "Who's gonna take care of them?!!!"

Had she remembered at least one little bad detail from her old life....persuasion would come a lot easier.

But Caine encourages you to keep trying anyways.

[answer2jeff]

not a lot, just forever.

carmen's opening up, but he wishes you'd do the same.

warnings: fluff + angst. fem!reader who is also a big reader (mostly poetry) and occasionally journals. unestablished relationship (friends to lovers, mutual pinning.) very touchy-feely. writing is overly detailed and so painfully poetic you might vomit.

word count : 2.4k

hey. i think i left my book at ur place. 11:15pm.

sorry, just got home. i can bring it over now 11:36pm.

oh yeah that'd be great! thank you. (sorry for the inconvenience) 11:38pm.

no worries 11:41pm.

lmk when ur here. xx 11:45pm.

Carmen had some idea of what that meant: xx. He knew what it meant when girls signed notes with xoxo in replacement of red kiss marks and strokes of long acrylic nails through their secret lovers hair—not that he ever received one, no. But your occasional visits practically felt just as intoxicating. If the order was x-o-x-o, and the worded statement being hugs-and-kisses, then xx must've been hugs, right? Two hugs. Like the one you shared the first time you met at Natalie's baby shower. He smelled like authentic Italian cologne with a hint of cigarette smoke diluted by dish soap and warm water. His grasp was hesitant, but ever-all-consuming once his shoulders relaxed. It was like metamorphosis. The way he wrapped his arms underneath while you tossed yours up around his neck, his gold chain feeling cold and hard against your skin, unlike the rest of him.

He was an under-hugger. He kept the ones he cared for unsuspectingly close to him. Such physical touch felt familiar. Maybe you'd just remembered stories and inside jokes about him through Natalie so well his tenderness and anxious nature was fitting to the idea of him you had in your head.

That was almost 6 months ago. And surprisingly, you'd become pretty good friends. Not that either of you really did friends at your age...but somehow it worked. You'd come to realize that he was so much kinder than anyone painted him out to be. And yet, you never really talked about yourselves.

Not in a way that really mattered, anyway.

The articles you'd written, the interviews you conducted with snobby assholes, the dozens of freelancing jobs with horrific schedules you had before, what you loved about writing and what you hated about the world around you—those were topics of discussion. Carmen's favorite restaurants he ever expanded his career with, the odd relationship he had with his sister that flipped like a rusty switch after highschool, candle scents he loved and bought over and over again despite their poor quality wicks, the first time he got drunk and how he swore he'd never let another drop of alcohol touch his tongue—those were normal methods of late night conversations.

But what about your dream to publish a novel? Or the memoir you read that completely changed your views on love as a whole. What about Carmen's uncle being his only friend his entire life? Oh, how he would've become a starving, broken artist if he ever believed he had enough talent for it. Hell, what about the girl you met in middle school who mysteriously moved away and shared all her secrets on the true meaning of life, death, and everything in between? Why didn't you ever talk about those things? Maybe it was too close, too personal. If he knew you too well, maybe he'd see you as you saw yourself.

Carmen had been thinking about those colored pencils you bought him for his birthday and can't get himself to tell you he uses them every day. Not just to illustrate his dishes...but you, sometimes. Your hair, your smile. He used that photo you begged him to snap of you staring out your window melodramatically with a bowl of pasta carbonara and a glass of bubbling champagne in front of you as reference. How could he ever show you the endless amount of pages containing the essence of your existence in that goddamn sketch book?

Questions. Questions. Questions.

Thoughts of potential ate away at your patience with every pacing step you took around your bedroom.

Answers. Answers. Answers.

—

"Do people even have deep conversations over pasta and wine anymore?" You trace the pad of your middle finger against the rim of your glass, your elbow propped up on the counter so your chin can rest in your hand.

Carmen draws his eyebrows together, the little crinkle in his forehead showing. You glance up at it and struggle to stifle a growing smile. He cocks his head before barring his bottom lip behind his teeth, picking at the skin with the tips of his fingers. That signature pose; where his left arm is crossed against his chest and his hand holds the elbow of his right arm. It's a habit you almost immediately picked up on. It told you time and time again that he was nervous.

Thinking. Contemplating.

"Is that, like—" he breaths a chuckle, but it comes out more as an accidental huff than anything. Smug bastard, he is. Especially when he drags his gold chain across his neck as it loops around the finger that once picked at the dry skin of his mouth.

"Your way of..asking me for a deep conversation over wine and pasta?"

Ah. He's called you out. The one thing he couldn't shake was his annoyance when you were so completely and utterly vague about your wants, your needs, your desires. Hell, Carmen Berzatto would wrap a lasso around the moon, or any planet you put your claim on, and drag it down so it could be yours and only yours. Only if it meant you'd stop feeling so complacent. You knew this. At least to some extent. His little favors buttered you up until you a mushy mess of adoration. What really scratched at your urges and your patience was how blissfully unaware he was of his show of affection toward you. Part of you feared that if you ever told him how much it caressed that bruised, fruit fly infested, rotted spot of your heart so gently it felt like a kiss, despite the sting, he'd stop.

"Y'know what? Yeah. I'm asking."

You shrug your shoulders and stare down at your nearly finished bowl of penne with vodka sauce. Stabbing a stack of pasta onto your fork and the clinking sound of the metal banging against the ceramic bowl seemed to fill the silence before Carmen finally spoke again, though with much hesitation.

"Okay," he barely whispers, nodding his head and fumbling to take a seat in the barstool underneath the counter. Sitting across from you gives him the constant justification to just look at you.

Starting off this session with a question was quite a kicker.

"Y'know Sade Zabala? Author of that book you brought back for me."

Carmen blinks slowly. He pretends to dig deep in his memory to identify the name, wondering if you'd ever mentioned her. But he fails, pulling his lips taught, so as to say 'I've got nothin.' The sound of your dramatic sigh and the 'tsk' sound of your lips separating makes his palms sweat.

"She's a wonderful writer. A poet. I mean, really, her book Coffee and Cigarettes was one of the most gut-wrenchingly beautiful and altruistic collections of.. of love, pain, rejuvenation—all of it."

If he was completely honest, he doesn't have a clear image of what those words meant. But it doesn't seem to matter what comes out of your mouth or how you phrase it. Your use of specific language fascinates him. There is nothing else he can do in this moment but nod and allow the corners of his lips to curl into a smile strong enough to make the apples of his cheeks go pink.

"I'll tell you one line of one of the greatest poems she had ever written in that book. In the humble opinion of yours truly, of course."

"Sure," he assures you. "Of course, of course."

"Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway."

Saliva pools in your mouth as you speak the quote, the taste of every vowel washing down your throat as if you dedicate them to Carmen himself. Which, in bare and naked truth, you do. The only thing you could ever ask of Carmen was to let himself tear himself open with the hope and belief that you would crawl into his fears and convert them into profound discoveries. And the trust that you would not stitch him up with your own hands, but rather clasp your fists around the circumference of his wrists as he carefully closes the wound his trajectory of life has created.

"Wow." Carmen's eyes go another centimeter wider, the language still processing in his mind. He interprets it over and over again.

"I know. And—" you set your fork down so you can have complete focus as you recite your following question, "I was just wondering what you'd say if someone told you that, y'know? What would you tell them?"

Vulnerability, he thinks. Fuck.

"I mean...fuck that's—that's a good question. Um.." he chews on the flesh of his bottom lip once again, looking above at the warm glow of the light that hangs over your island counter as if he'll find the answer up there.

"I don't even like the good stuff about me, so. I'm not sure how to, like, articulate that? Is that the word?"

Now the quickening pace has started.

"And what do you think the good stuff about you is?"

Probing questions like this are somewhat too-close-for-comfort inquiries for friends. But Carmen would be stupid to mind it. He relishes in it, actually. With much guilt. But it's tainted with the secret pleasure of being cared for by someone he so deeply valued the opinions and thoughts of.

Since the first day you met, Carmen knew he would never go to anyone else for some piece of mind. For some sanity. Or even just for someone to explain the method to his madness. You understood it—what he believed.

"I care a lot, I think. But that's not always practical. It hardly ever is now that I think about it."

"You do. You care so much." You soften your tone, hesitantly reaching for Carmen's tattooed hand that rests on the cold marble counter.

"Sometimes it freaks me out."

"Like, this whole thing, the—the restaurant, where my life is right now, it makes me crazy. But it also keeps me..."

"Human," you finish.

"Yeah, human."

Though it takes him a couple seconds for his digits to not second guess themselves, he gently takes your hand in his. The slow pace in which he intertwines his fingers with yours is enough to kill you.

"Can I tell you something?" Carmen asks.

"Anything."

"You take good care of me. Of everyone, really." . His thumb gently rubs your warm skin, the rough and calloused mounds over his fingerprints soothing you. A deep breath moves in and out from his lungs as he meets your eyes again. This time, he won't look away.

"It's like you were made to just be good."

You smile, but you're not convinced you're certain on what he means. "Thank you, Carm. But—good?"

"I don't know. You're warm. I'm—I'm not like that. I'm not warm."

This, this is where truths as bare as untraveled paws of loyal dogs that roamed the streets in search of security uncover themselves.

"What? Of course you are." You lean forward, feeling your heart pound so hard it could leap out of your body.

"I don't think I am."

To think—no, to know that Carmen Berzatto cannot share at least one feature of his layered soul he genuinely likes. God, that pains you. You could write a million sonnets listing every little thing you adored about your friend.

"Carmen, you—" you sigh, your head dropping for a fraction of a second. "You have such a big heart. You're not cold or...or out of reach, or anything like that, okay?"

Even with Carmen's tendency for rage and his tattoos that displayed yet another callback to his culinary career—his way of speaking: so gentle and unsupported, you're certain that he is something so much greater than just a chef. He took care of people too. His staff, his clientele, his family—of you. Whether it was home cooked meals when you were sick, or when you needed to complain about Natalie. Carmen listened. Not as her brother, but as your friend. You don't really remember when you started to regularly see each other during his leisure. Either at the restaurant, or a coffee shop next door to your complex, and eventually his living room.

"This is so fucking selfish, but—"

No, Carmen. You could never be selfish.

But you let him be hungry. You want him to be hungry. Starving for reassurance. Because you'll feed him until the empty space in his existence is filled.

"I just wish you'd look after yourself the way you take care of me. Like, fuck, hearing you look at yourself and point out all this shit that nobody notices—which I wish they fucking would—because I notice them and I still love those things about you is..."

Oh, what a beautiful mind you've always had. He'll always store all the love you can't have for yourself in his own heart. Your wit, your intelligence, your smile, even down to the way you have to readjust the grip of your fountain pen as you inscribe your thoughts into your journal

"Wrong." He completed his thought with just one word. "I don't like it. It makes me sad," he says again.

That breaks you. So much that a tear sure to be followed by many more wells up in your waterline. The glisten of the salty liquid in your eyes startles the wonderful man across you. You can see the immediate guilt in his face, his blue eyes filled with concern and regret. But you shake your head, holding onto his forearm as he raises his hand to your cheek to catch the falling tear. Fuck being friends. Fuck small talk. Fuck jokes and laughs and cigarettes and poor communication that just ended in silence.

This was here and now. There was no going back.

With that, you cupped Carmen's own cheek, leaning closer and closer to his lips before he desperately kissed you. His free hand anchored itself on your shoulder blade while yours crawled to the back of his head to burry itself in his golden curls. Your taste was everything. Salty with pasta with a sweet aftertaste that echoed from your fruity lip balm, followed by a final twinge of bitterness from your glass of red wine. He tasted of comfort, of acceptance, something you'd never felt against your tastebuds from the previous years of the dating pool. With every separation of your lips to swallow gasps of air, the further the two of you hovered over the counter in a needy attempt to get closer.

You didn't need answers. Not a lot from him either. Just him. Forever.

tags: @lemmejustpulloutmylightsaber @sexyyounglatinoboy @febris-amatoria @diorrfairy

[thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed]

Always By Your Side

Word count: 1.9K

Summary: you were friends with Jenna, but ever since she got famous she started ignoring you, even if you kept being her number one fan.

Warnings: angst

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader

Posting this to check if I’m actually not shadow banned anymore😂 but Don’t get me started on this Idea. It has been stuck in my mind forever. I hope you like this

———

Growing up in California has always had its perks. Wherever you went, there were famous people, whether it was adults, teenagers, even kids and older people. It didn’t matter where you went, there was always a crowd around someone famous. Useless to say that this had its toll on your life, because eventually you wanted to be an actress, and ever since you were a kid you would find scripts online and practice them on your own or with your best friend, Jenna. She lived down the street and you were always at her place playing with her and with her siblings, you would sleep at their house, have dinners there and whenever they did something, you were always invited, you even went on family trips with them! It was safe to say that they considered you part of their family.

With time passing, you and Jenna grew even closer. Both of your dreams was still to be actresses as you kept on practicing scripts and monologues, but she’s always been better than you, and there was no one denying that. At some point Jenna’s mom’s friend was friends with a casting director and they tried giving both of you chances to eventually start on acting in shows or movies. Only… she got the roles, and you didn’t. You never did. Were you jealous? No you weren’t, because your best friend had achieved her dreams and she was living it for you too. She was away from home a lot, but she always found a way to keep in contact with you, at first at least. You were both still 14 after all, and her schedule wasn’t so busy so she was home a lot, and you went to visit her whenever you could.

Though things started changing when you both turned 16. She was never home anymore as her schedule was so busy.

You: hey Jen. I know you’re busy, buy can you call me when you have some free time? I really miss my best friend🥺

Jen: Hey! Yes of course! I’ll call you at 7.30 tonight okay? Miss you too <3

Those little things always made you smile, even if she was so busy and never home, she always cut some time from her breaks to call you and just talk about anything. She didn’t care if she didn’t have lunch, she WANTED to talk to you and this alone always made you miss her less. At age 17 though, having grown up and was now fit for harder roles, early morning alarms and what not, the time she cut for you ceased existing.

You: Heyyyy! Video call tonight at 7.30 pm like always?

Jen: I’m sorry I’m really busy. Promise we’ll catch up eventually. TTYL.

Only the two of you never caught up. She never found time for you anymore and it was starting to hurt. You knew that at some point actors leave their past life behind, but you never expected Jenna to do so to you. You never expected her to forget about you when you grew up together ever since day one, when you were in cribs. But even though she barely even thought of you, it was safe to say that you were her number one fan. You watched her movies, had bought the merch that came along with them, watching her interviews, Hell you even texted her supporting her of everything.

September 10, 2020

You: dude, that “babysitter killer queen” movie is just something else, I was so entertained watching it! You did a great job💕

March 12, 2021

You: your role in “yes day” was amazing. Katie Torres is so cute! Loved it✨

January 14, 2022

You: uhm HELLO? The new scream movie is fire! Hope to see you in the next one☺️

January 27, 2022

You: GURL! ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT VADA CAVELL? Please, she’s SO FINE

March 18, 2022

You: okay, that X movie was different. Not of my likings, buy you did a great job as always. Miss you.

Not once did she ever reply to your texts. Sure, she read them but you never got any kind of feedback from her. It’s like she was always too busy even for a text, or she just simply didn’t care anymore. It was hard, going on with your life knowing that she never had time for you anymore. You used to be her best friend but now, seeing from her posts she had new best friends and it was hurting a lot, knowing that she just forgot about you, and your head started going a thousand places, was she ashamed because her best friend wasn’t famous? And what if she simply didn’t want to be seen around with you? You were a no one, after all. Would famous people want to be seen around with a no one?

You had to get back to her, show her that there was no shame in being seen around with someone who isn’t famous. It should make you even more “honest” to show that you’re not only friends with famous people, but you’ve kept your friends of a lifetime, but you thought that this wasn’t something she’d ever consider. You posted a photo of the two of you hugging and a few videos, tagging her and writing under it “miss my best friend so much.” Jenna’s fans freaked out at that and reposted the photos, the cute videos all over the internet. Jenna wasn’t the type of girl to be on social medias but you were sure she saw your post when she liked it. It was just a like though, there was no “miss you too” comment or even a text, nothing at all. You had to find a way to see her, talk to her face to face.

You got the chance to do so when after her new series “Wednesday” came out, the premiere was in your city. You HAD to go. You even found the ticket to get backstage and talk with the actors, you had to talk to her. You dressed up elegantly just for the night and you made sure to go there REALLY early to be in front of the barricades, you had to see her and she had to see you. When actors started arriving, of course no one recognized you. Except for obviously Jenna. She looked at you as she walked by, and you gave her a small smile as you waved at her, she did the same but then walked away, to other fans and to the photo booth. She looked gorgeous to say the least. You had seen her on tv, but she hasn’t seen you in years and suddenly reality hit her.

You had been supporting her ever since and she has done nothing but ignore you these past 5 years, and she started thinking of how much it could have hurt you, seeing her realize her dreams while you couldn’t. She was scared shitless to talk to you, she was afraid that you’d yell at her, get mad at her or something like that. When the premiere was finished it was now time for the people who had the backstage ticket to actually go backstage. You were one of the lasts in line and you weren’t in a rush, you needed to talk to her not just for two minutes, and you knew that fans would absolutely want to talk to her, so you stood back and patiently waited for your turn. You didn’t wait really long because everyone only had a limited time with each actor, but you didn’t care because you knew that if you needed It, Jenna would tell the crew that you were allowed to stay.

As soon as it was your turn you walked up to her and she gave you a small sad smile. She didn’t know how to act, what to do. She was scared of what you’d say or do. “Hey Jen” you said as you walked over, you weren’t sure of what you could or could not do, but you were surprised when she hugged you tightly, hiding her face in your shoulder. You let her do, hugging her back and letting her stay in the embrace for as long as she wanted. When she pulled back, her eyes were slightly teary. “(Y/N) I-I’m so sorry” she started, you knew exactly what she was talking about. “I’m sorry too. But it’s okay, you have a busy schedule and it’s okay to not have time” you said reassuring her. “I was just scared you’d forgotten about me or that you didn’t care anymore. And it hurts because I haven’t been hearing back from you for 5 years Jen. You do understand that right? I was scared that I was bothering you and that you didn’t want me to text you.” You said looking down, and she looked down of shame as well.

“I never meant for any of this to happen. You’re my best friend, (Y/N). I just… got scared.” She said and you looked at her with confusion sprawled out all over your face. “Scared of what?” You asked, she took a hold of your hand and looked up at you. “When we started with the videocalls.. they made me really happy, and I knew you were happy too. But growing up my feelings towards you only grew, and not just in a “friends” way if you know what I mean. I was- and maybe I still am in in love with you. But I was scared, I was never home and I didn’t want to say that over a phone, figuring out that it would have been better if I told you face to face. But I always chickened out and I figured out that if I ever told you, the constant distance would have ended up hurting you. But I hurt you anyways, so…”

You looked at her as a smile slowly made its way to your face. “Jesus Jen I thought you hated me or something..” you said, giggling of relief, as she looked up at you “does that mean you forgive me?” She said hopeful, this even showing on her face. How could you reply to this? Deep down, you also had feelings for her, and they only grew. So you pulled her in from her waist, a hand removing the black veil of her dress from her face as you leaned in for a kiss, your first. She was shocked at first, not believing what was happening as she eventually kissed you back, closing her eyes and arms around your neck as she smiled and hummed happily on your lips, moving closer to you, if that was even possible. Managers had tried to get closer to you two and move you two away, but Jenna shushed them away and kept on kissing you, all while you just smiled.

Eventually she pulled back to look at you. “I love you so much (Y/N).. I swear to you that from now on I’ll take you with me wherever I go and you’ll never leave my side.”

[scarrletmoon]

dude i'm not even into ofmd but seeing that its cancelled is like ?? like what the fuck thats fucked dude. just from an outsiders perspective it seemed like the show had a lot of heart put into it and the fans were super passionate (which doesnt really factor into whether or not a show gets cancelled but still) its just so weird to see

i think that’s the part that’s so devastating. i was always wary bc the show existing at all felt like a miracle, but when the cast and crew themselves started hinting at renewal, i had really high hopes. the reviews were great. there was sustained enthusiasm for the show for weeks even after it finished airing. 3 months after s2, folks were waiting for a renewal announcement — not if we’d be renewed, but when

and it just……i’m so tired, you know? i took a chance on this silly little show and it legitimately changed my life and introduced me to so many wonderful people. it was unapologetically queer and groundbreaking in so many ways. there’ll never be anything quite like it

so to have it ripped out from under us just feels awful. we all knew it wasn’t going to last forever, but we thought we had time

we were supposed to have time

[ordinaryschmuck]

So, I finally watched Hazbin Hotel...

Weird, given how I talked about it a bunch. Heck, one of my top rated posts at the moment is my interpretation regarding the fear in Alastor's eyes during his breakdown. But despite having opinions on Hazbin Hotel, I've never really checked the show out, especially as it was coming out. I was kind of waiting for all episodes to get released so I could binge it all in one sitting, but I kept pushing that off until TODAY, and...I have thoughts.

Pros:

Love the animation of the show. Every praise I could give animation is present, with each character being incredibly expressive, their movements fluid, and the animators know when to be stiff for comedic scenes and giving their all for the big musical numbers or action.

I also love the way these characters look. I hear people complain about how overdesigned everything is, and that's valid. I would NOT want to animate this show due to every detail that I'd have to keep track of. But...if we can still praise Spider-Verse despite the animators being under torturous conditions as they make every frame a work of art, we can give the animators the same pat on the back here for making this show look as good as it is. Besides, a few years ago we had people complaining how every western cartoon looks the same. Now we have a show that's the most visually distinct than a lot of animated series coming out today and now we're complaining about that? I'm a man who admires effort more than anything, and while I agree that simpler is better with televised animation, I'm still proud that the animators pulled through in this.

The songs are all great, with personal favorites being "Loser, Baby," "Hell's Greatest Dad," "Stayed Gone," "Hell is Forever," and "You Didn't Know." The weakest one is probably "Whatever it Takes," but it's not really BAD, not me. Just not as strong as the others. I dug this soundtrack and it was the main thing that suck me into this show.

Charlie, as a protagonist, is pretty strong. I love the irony of the daughter of Hell is the nicest person in existence and her frustrations in making the Hazbin Hotel a success a delight because you WANT her to succeed as much as everyone else does. Plus, where most adult comedies make their protagonists cynical a-holes, it's a nice change of pace to have a hopeful one that apologizes as she's fighting people. Love it.

Angel Dust is easy to root for. What he goes through with Valentino is...something that someone like me can't fully grasp and understand, let alone judge. But I personally feel like it does the job to show the tragedy that this character goes through and allows you to root for him to get better.

And I like that Husk is right there to support Angel Dust, being a sort of conscience to protect him despite how much Angel gets on Husk's nerves. I also dig that they grow closer together, treating each other with mutual respect and admiration. It's sweet and I hope things turn out well for these two. Plus, he's voiced by Kieth David. The man can't do wrong.

Nifty is the funniest character in the show, and I will hear no disagreements about it.

Sir Pentious is a lovable loser who's the second funniest character. He reminds me of Papyrus from Undertale, trying so hard to prove that he's strong and powerful only to hilariously fail at every turn. You really root for the guy to get better and feel grateful that he finds happiness in a way I'm not sure anyone could have expected.

Rosie only appeared in one episode, and she's already my favorite. The gal's chipper and supportive towards Charlie, to the point where I completely forgot that she was a cannibal overlord who killed her partner to take full control of the business. Again, I love the irony of characters like this.

Lucifer was more fun than expected. I thought he'd be Mr. Serious, but he's just as bombastic and fun-loving as Charlie and Jeremy Jordan sounds like he's having the time of his life being this character to the point where it's addicting.

Vox has the potential to be a great antagonist and it's a crime that he only has ONE episode with relevance. Hoping he gets more in the future.

And Alastor. I love the concept of a character always smiling with the only thing betraying him are his eyes. As someone who takes joy in facial expressions, I always have a great time trying to analyze a character's restrictions and seeing how they emote, especially when animators and artists utilize a character's eyes to do most of the talking. That's done here in spades, making Alastor more interesting of an evil character as he keeps people guessing with his devious smile, not even dropping it when he's having a mental breakdown.

All and all, I can see how this show can draw in an audience...BUT...

Cons:

The comedy misses more than it hits. The funniest stuff comes from Nifty and Sir Pentious, but other than that, I don't really laugh much with this show. The dramatic moments work decently enough, so that's a pro, but when it's trying to make you laugh, it crumbles for the most part.

The constant swearing does get on one's nerves a bit. Dialogue, more than anything, depends on character. And to have EVERYONE swear almost consistently feels like a misstep. Because if everyone shares a similar level of lingo, then how can you differentiate a character's line on paper. Plus, I feel like it cheapens certain character. Saint Peter, the man who greets you at the pearly gates, shouldn't be another character that goes, "Oh, shit" when him going "Oh, shucks" speaks more about who is compared to everyone else and gives a glimpse into how different Heaven is from Hell.

The dialogue also hurts a character like Adam too. I want to buy that he's Earth's first man, but having him talk like a douchebag rockstar kind of takes me out of it a bit. Like, the way he talks doesn't sound like how the first human being should sound. He sounds like a guy who died in the late eighties, which SHOULD be funny but it's too distracting too much of the time when a character who talks like an old man who's ignorant to modern thinking could have had so much to say about what Heaven deems as worthy to be up above. They nailed the ignorance, but had him speak it in a way that doesn't fit humanity's first man. Maybe less "Call me Dickmaster" and more more "Call me Sir."

Vaggie...is FINE, I guess? But her character faces the same problems as Millie in Helluva Boss, where most of her personality and character is dependent on the relationship she has with another.

I'm also not a fan of Chaggie. I'm sorry. I'm in love with the ship dynamic of the stern, responsible one paired with the bubbly optimist. Heck, I'm a Lumity shipper because of it. But Chaggie just...WHELMS me. I don't hate them together but I'm not foaming at the mouth with each cute scene they share either. Honestly, I ship Charlie more with Emily than I do Vaggie, which...sucks for Vaggie, I guess. But Emily deserves love in her life too, dammit.

And the pacing for this season really is bad. I don't think the problem with this show is that it had eight episodes. Less is more is a phrase for a reason and we don't need twenty episode long seasons for EVERY show. I prefer it, don't get me wrong. Allows characters the a chance to breath and allows the story to take its time more. But what kills Hazbin Hotel's first season is that it feels like a three-season long story just got wrapped up into ONE. I'm sure there's more plans with Heaven, the Vees, and especially Lilith, but to have the season end with the next extermination feels like Avatar ending its first season with Souzin's Comet. There's so much the characters need to do and prepare for in so little time, ending a status quo shaking event, that I feel like a smarter idea would have been splitting this season's story line up into three parts. I mean, unless the cast and crew didn't know ahead of time that they'd only get eight episodes a season, why not have a little faith that they could have split the story up better? Because otherwise, it makes the show feel like it went by way too quickly. Eight episodes isn't a problem, but how they use those eight episodes DO.

So, while I can absolutely see why Hazbin Hotel could have its fans, I can also see how it can put people off. The style and characters work well enough, but the dialogue, jokes, and story need much more polish. It's not the worst, but not the best either. I hope things improve in Season Two and that the show itself can redeem ITSELF in the future.

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

My DC Cinematic Universe: Superman (Epilogue)

Epilogue: My Adventures with Superman

...Well, holy shit. Just when I was getting worried that nobody would get Superman, along comes one of the best comic-book related products we've seen in years, which delivers me so much of the stuff I wanted in a cinematic version of Superman...and is almost perfect. Yeah, it's definitely not perfect, but goddamn if this isn't one of my ideal versions of Superman.

Y'know, I've considered doing sort of a sum-up of the different major adaptations of the Superman mythos by bringing together all the points made in my essays, but I felt it was too much. For this, however, I think that makes sense. And yes, I'm doing this after only 4 episodes have aired, and yes, I realize that what just happened in the most recent episode is fucking insane and something I desperately want in a Superman story...but I'll at least cover my personal approach, since this show's kinda hot right now. And rarely do I have the chance to jump on a burgeoning fandom, so FUCK IT!

If you'd like to see my previous and insane essays on my preferred version of the Man of Steel, here's the link! Always. Be. Plugging. But if you'd rather hear my opinion of My Adventures with Superman, then check out the section after the jump. But just know that I like it, with a couple of caveats that you've probably already heard about this show.

Clark Kent: Abnormal Superman

Um...did somebody read my essays before I even thought about them, because this is pretty goddamn close to my ideal Clark Kent. He's a big ol' dork with a heart of god who wants to do the right thing, but is also nowhere near perfect in his everyday life and methods. He's a teensy bit clumsy, but still very well-put together. He wants to help when and how he can, and is willing to go along with shenanigans to do so. He has an actual personality, and most importantly, he feels human.

Yeah, this is a dude from Kansas who also happens to be an alien. And good goddamn, is scaling down his powers and knowledge of his past a great idea. Smallville, of course, did this, but that version of Clark was often too serious and rough around the edges. And maybe most importantly, Tom Welling's Clark never seemed like an outcast. I mean, the dude was handsome as all fuck, and built like a linebacker. And yet, I'm supposed to buy that the guy is a loser and outcast? Yeah, no, not buying it. But this Clark? Yeah, the guy's a massive dork. Handsome and built like a fucking freight train, yeah, but still a dork. And maybe most importantly...I don't buy this dude as Superman.

Yeah. Really. I mean, dude is OBVIOUSLY Superman, because he's built like a tank and super nice, but I get not fully seeing this guy as Superman. Somehow, FUCKING SOMEHOW, they pull this off better than literally any other version I've seen since the Christopher Reeves version. And yeah, that's insanely high praise, because Reeves has some of the best dichotomous acting I've ever seen. But this Superman and this Clark both seem like the same person and separate people at the same time somehow. It's an impressive feat that I can barely explain.

And yet...they're still definitely the same person. Any sane person would be able to figure it out eventually, with enough personal interaction. It's one of the reasons why the glasses joke exists, because it really shouldn't make much sense. But in this series, the glasses actually change the shape of his pace, and slight changes in his posture and voice (by the pretty great Jack Quaid) actually do work as a subtle mask for the character. But will that last forever? Well...more on that later.

I also said this before, but I love the fact that we're learning about Clark and his powers as he's learning about himself. This series is obviously anime-inspired, and it really leans into the shonen angle thematically and visually. When the first art for this show came out, I was intrigued but cautious. Now, though, I'm into it. We'll see how the more anime-esque electrical powers work out, but it actually seems like a reference to the sporadically used bioelectric field manipulation ability that Superman has in the comics. Yeah, he has a field of bioelectricity around his body that provides him (and his costume) with invulnerability, and also occasionally gives him plot-convenience powers. Don't ask questions, OK? It's a comic book thing.

Speaking of that, though, the creators are definitely playing fast and loose with the Superman mythos, and I'm interested to see exactly how that plays out as the series continues. I'm a little cautious for reasons to be addressed later, but I'm still quite interested. So, now that we've covered Superman, whom I think is fantastic in his characterization...let's get to the character who I think is excellently represented in this series.

Lois Lane: Intrepid (Intern) Reporter

Jesus Christ, this is a great Lois. There are a lot of ways you can do a good Lois, and there are a number of great Loises, but MAWS' Lois ranks extremely high on that list. Dogged to the point of recklessness, determined to get the truth at all costs, and desperate to be a great reporter, she has the stuff that makes any great Lois. But what really puts her over the edge for me is her characterization. Alice Lee does a fantastic job as Lois' voice, and gives her a mix of naivete, determination, and...oddly, hope. I dunno, there's something about Lee's portrayal that really works for me.

And a lot of people have pointed out two things. One, she's basically Lux from The Owl House. Yeah. And? Fucking and? Luz is a fantastic character in her own right, and very Lois Lane-esque. Personally, I think that's a great and worthy comparison for any version of Luz. Secondly, she's a tomboy. And I think most people on Tumblr are fine with that, but I also see some criticism for that choice. And for those who don't like that...fuck off a little bit. Not a lot, but a little bit. There's nothing wrong with a slightly more tomboyish Lois, and I actually adore a Lois who isn't a damsel in distress all the time. She literally fights some of the bad guys in this series, and we're only four episodes in! Seriously, I love that. And she is occasionally in distress, but she gets into that shit herself, which is exactly what Lois Lane is supposed to do. Look, I love this Lois. Oh, and another thing!

Is Lois Korean? Holy shit, that's fantastic! I said in my second essay that Lois is one of those characters who isn't racially bound in any way. There, I suggested that she could be played by a Latina, which has been hinted at before in some comics. But honestly, this is a great choice! And I only say Korean because, in the most recent episode, she appears to be wearing the top half of a hanbok, which is a traditionally Korean dress. And yeah, I'm fully here for it. Don't know if she's mixed or not (we'll probably see Sam Lane at a later date), but this is great all on its own.

And then, there's the other thing: Lois' position as Superman's Inevitable Love Interest. The ILE is, of course, a tradition in all things superhero comic, and Lois is arguably the first and most famous of all ILEs. Like Thanos before her, she is truly inevitable, and that seems to be at the center of this series. Oh, and at this point...sort of SPOILERS AHEAD??? I mean, come on, this was obviously gonna happen.

By the end of episode 4, these two are clearly romantically interested in each other. Hell, by the end of episode 1, these two are interested in each other. And can I just say that's they're hands fucking down the most adorable Clark and Lois I've ever fucking seen? I mean it, they're the best version of this couple in live-action media, and I can actually see them becoming the comic book versions of that couple.

As a quick compare and contrast of the most notable versions:

Reeves and Kidder were great, but the movies never actually committed in having them be a couple. They actively made sure it wouldn't happen a couple of times, to much irritation, and their relationship never truly blossomed, which was based on the comics at the time.

Fuck Dean Cain...but Cain and Hatcher were pretty good as a couple, pre-and-post-marriage. Which, again, was a part of comics at the time, so it makes sense. Even then, I wouldn't call them particularly cute, just more of a relatively normal couple.

Don't get me wrong, I love Daly and Durance's animated versions of the two...but they never actually became a couple until the very end of Superman: The Animated Series. And we only saw them as Lois and Superman, not Lois and Clark. So, sadly, they don't rank.

Welling and Durance were...off-and-on. Funnily enough, their appearance as this version of the couple in the Arrowverse crossovers was probably better than any other appearance they had, and their appearances in the 10th season were genuinely quite nice. High up there as the best version, and one of my favorites.

Hoechlin and Tulloch are, in my opinion, the best married version of the characters. They honestly nail it, and their chemistry is pretty much perfect. Their versions of the characters still rank pretty high as some of the best, and they're even better as a couple.

Routh and Bosworth...moving on...

Cavill and Adams...well...I mean...they have some chemistry, and...they've definitely had sex. Um. Yeah. That's it. Whoooooo.

O'Connell and Romjin are a little-remembered animated version of the two, and not the only animated version of the two, either. But honestly, they're really good in The Death of Superman and Reign of the Supermen, and were my favorite animated version of them as a couple...prior to MAWS.

And OK, sure, we've barely seen these two as a couple at this point, but I really like them. They're adorable, they're adorkable, they're supportive of each other, and their chemistry is basically immediate. They're just really cute and fun to watch, and I can't wait to see them progress. Especially because...

OK, I can't stress this enough, but skip the next GIF if you don't want spoilers, and scroll down until you get to Jimmy Olsen. Please. This is a biggie. OK? Got it? Read at your own peril.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU SERIOUS THEY ACTUALLY DID IT

If you've read my Superman essays, you know that I want movie Lois Lane to have found out Clark is Superman on her own, and before the movie starts. And holy shit, they actually did it in MAWS! FUCK YES! Lois is smart and sharp, so she should pick up on the fact that Clark is Superman! I love that they did this, even if her way of finding out was somewhat by accident. She still put the clues together on her own, so I'm satisfied with this ending! And I'm pretty sure they're not going to reverse this! If they do, I'd be pissed off, but I don't think they will. Just...HELL YEAH, BABEEEEEEEEEE

OK...I think the spoiler-free have scrolled past this by know, so...let's move on with the essay, shall we?

Supporting Cast: Jimmy and the Rest

OK, let's talk Jimmy Olsen (played by Ishmael Sahid). Honestly, I love the fact that he's a conspiracy nut with his own YouTube channel, and that he's literal bunkmates with Clark in this series. This is also pretty close to my perfect version of Jimmy Olsen, not gonna lie. His streaming name is even Flamebird, a deepcut comics reference that shows the creators not only know their stuff, but also actively care about Superman comics and history. That's one of the things that one me over in the first episode, for the record. But more on that later.

Jimmy is the third wheel, but one who's usually welcome. We'll see the fallout of the Lois-Clark romance soon, I'm sure, but Jimmy's role has been pretty much perfect. However, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that a black Jimmy Olsen, while welcomed by me...is a little weird when you look at the legion of ginger characters in media that have been replaced by black characters in adaptations. While, again, I don't think Jimmy is racially bound to being ginger, it is a fairly iconic part of his identity. And...yeah, a lot of ginger characters have been translated into black people in recent years, and that's...really weird, not gonna lie. Makes me think even more about my Legion of Super-Heroes essay, honestly. Still, solid-ass Jimmy, and I can't wait for more.

I actually adore Perry White (voiced by Darrell Brown) in this series, and his grumpy boss persona is...well, quintessential Perry White. I'd actually say this is a perfect version of the character, although that's not as difficult to nail as some other versions. Looking forward to seeing more of Perry's life as he supports our bumbling interns.

I was tickled pink to see Cat Grant (Melanie Minichino), Steve Lombard (Vincent Tong), and a genderbent Ronnie Troupe (Kenna Ramsey) in this show, because it once again signals to me that the show creators really care about Superman mythos. And honestly, these guys were transplanted essentially unchanged from the comics, as far as we can see so far. This may change in the future, but I'm very excited to see the rivalry between our three and these reports build and develop during the series. Great job with these guys.

The Kents only make an appearance in one episode thus far, but I think they're pretty good! We see them in the past and in the present, and they're a couple of farmers who love their son. They're also some of the youngest versions of the characters we've seen in adaptations, save for Smallville, and it works well! They also make it apparent that these are Clark's parents, even in the short time we see them. Again, good job so far, and I want to see more!

So, with all of that, I adore this series, and it's perfect! Right? Right?

The Villains: Literal and Figurative Cons

If you've heard anything about this series from Superman fans, then you've probably heard that the villains are...not amazing so far. And that's mostly because the villains are where this series takes the most liberties, while also downsizing most of them pretty severely. I'll go through them briefly here, but just know that the changes made so far are...not my favorite. And if you've read my essays, you know my opinion on villains in superhero media: you gotta nail them.

So, let's start with Livewire, AKA Leslie Willis (voiced by Zehra Fazal). I really love this character (and actually positioned her as a major villain in the second Superman movie of my cinematic universe), so I'm quite invested in Livewire. And this version is a tech-powered villain who kicks off the conflict for the first part of the series. She's a completely different version of the character...and she works? Kinda? Look, as the first villain to face Superman, she's fine, but she's barely Livewire. The end of the second episode hints that she may become more like the original down the line, but she's missing that sass of the original. And yeah, she works without that, but it doesn't feel like Livewire to me. That's nitpicking, though, because we have a much worse set of adaptations to cover.

Intergang is so much of a non-entity in this show, they have no GIFS on Tumblr. Understand, this community has made GIFs of every other character except these guys. In total, they are Silver Banshee AKA Siobhan MacDougal (played by Catherine Taber), Mist AKA Kyle Nimbus (played by Lucas Grabeel), and Rough House AKA Albert (played by Vincent Tong). And they've been changed from:

A cursed Scottish-Irish woman, empowered by magic and a major threat to the Man of Steel, having nearly killed him multiple times...and is currently dating Jimmy Olsen, which I kinda love?

A scientist who invented a process to turn himself into gaseous form, and used his powers to fight the hero Starman; this rivalry was passed on to the next generation, on the side of both hero and villain.

And the clone of a gangster endowed with super-strength, serving beneath Boss Moxie of Intergang, and the forces of the dark world of Apokolips above him.

...into a group of loser who got technology they couldn't handle. Yeah, it's a major downgrade, and two of those guys weren't even that notable in the first place. Siobhan gets completely fucking shafted here, and I think it's a genuine failure of this series. Harsh, I know, but seeing Silver Banshee get fucked over that hard really sucked for me.

Oh, and yeah, Intergang was a major villainous group for the Superman film in my cinematic universe, so removing their Apokoliptian ties...bums me the fuck out, too. Also, it looks like Flash villain Heat Wave is an upcoming member, which is...weird as fuck, honestly. We'll see how this pans out, but I'm not terribly enthusiastic about it.

And then there's Anthony Ivo (played by Jake Green), who's been repurposed into a tech bro entrepeneur in the vein of Elon Musk, in charge of AmazoTech, which is obviously a reference to the comic book version. And this was an...interesting set of choices, honestly. Some spoilers here, but Ivo's version of AMAZO is an armor that drains the power of Superman and redirects it against him. And yes, that makes Ivo also this universe's version of...Parasite. ANOTHER villain that I put in the second movie of my cinematic universe, and one of my absolute favorite Superman villains.

I don't hate the reinvention, but that's only because of what happens to Ivo at the end of the episode. I won't spoil it here, but he definitely turns into a more proper version of the character, so we'll see what happens there. As for his assistant, Alex (played by...somebody), well, he's interesting, isn't he? At first, I thought he was Alex Allston, one of the Parasite twins from the 2000s. But a number of people seem to think he might be another familiar red-headed Superman villain named Alexander, if you know what I mean. Let's just say, there's a possibility that he'll steal forty cakes at some point. And that's terrible.

And finally, there's...wait, is that Deathstroke AKA Slade WIlson (played by Chris Parnell)? Why is he young...and hot? Why is Slade young and hot? And two-eyed? I mean, yeah, sure, that's not the worst thing in the world, but...goddamn, that's some whiplash. Interestingly, he appears to be affiliated with Task Force X, which is name dropped in episode 2. Plus, Amanda Waller is clearly in the background, so a much wider plan is in play. And yeah, while it's weird to see young hot Deathstroke, I'll give it a chance.

Other villains have been hinted at, and allegedly radically reinvented, such as Mr. Mxyzptlk and Brainiac, but we've yet to see what will become of them. Still, this is a divisive start. As long as we get some actual supernatural threats, and not just people in armor, I'll be happy. Time will tell.

Story: Just Getting Started

At this point, it's pretty much impossible to judge the story of this series, since we've only just started. But, with the technology obtained by Livewire from a mysterious source, and then leaked into the criminal underworld, we at least have enough threats to supply tension throughout this first portion of the series. The relationship of our trio is progressing nicely, with Jimmy realizing his third-wheel status, and with the Lois and Clark relationship moving along interestingly and unexpectedly.

There's also a number of hanging plots that look promising, including Clark discovering his powers and origins; Task Force X and Deathstroke, as well as their interest in Superman; the missing Parasite technology after Ivo's fall; the rivalry between the interns and their reporter rivals; and even Lois' relationship with her father (who...might be the guy standing next to Waller in Task Force X? No clue, that's just a guess). So, we have some stuff to look forward to! And maybe, just maybe, the villains will also steadily improve. I think Silver Banshee's a lost cause at this point, but I have hope for Livewire and Parasite, at least. But again, time will tell.

I also can't wait to see what the creators have up their sleeves. They're obviously ans of Superman and his mythos. I didn't even mention what won me over on this show in the first place! Other than Clark and Lois themselves, of course. In the first episode, Lois introduces Jimmy and Clark to her information gatherers: the Newskid Legion. And for those of you who don't know, that's a reference to the Golden Age of Comics, and a group of street-wise kids that would become supporting characters of Superman's during the '90s (through the trendy magic of cloning)! The kids have an adaptation in this series, and that attention to lore alone made me an instant fan of this show. Sounds like nothing, I know, but it meant a hell of a lot to a Superfan like me. Now GIVE ME MY EVERYMAN BIBBO BIBBOWSKI!

Conclusion: A Hopeful Tomorrow

I'm...scared about Gunn's Superman film. I won't write a whole essay about it, but it sounds ambitious to the point of being bloated. A lot of recent casting news makes me feel like this is more of a set-up to the wider DCU, as less of a Superman film in and of itself. Plus, with rumors that Luthor is being cast, and no sign of a villain announcement yet...I dunno. It has me worried. So thank God for My Adventures with Superman.

This series is a blessing so far. Sure, it could blow for the rest of the season, but call me hopeful. I think this show is fantastic so far, and I'm really thinking it'll stick the landing with the first season. Alongside that, honestly, is the fact that it's trying something new for any Superman adaptation, and there's a bravery in that. I don't know if it'll go down as my preferred Superman adaptation (Superman: The Animated Series is a hard one to beat for me), but it's got a good start. And a brave series that inspires hope in the face of fear and impossible odds? Man, that's what Superman is all about.

And now that that's said and done (for now, anyway)...

I believe I have another essay series to finally finish.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Part I: Why I Love Superman

Part II: On Lois Lane

Part III: The Kents

Part IV: The 'Rents

Part V: The...Frendts?

Part VI: Lex Luthor

Part VII: The Real Villains

Part VIII: Superman's Rogues Gallery

Part IX: The Story - Act One

Part X: The Story (Acts Two and Three)

Part XI: The Story - Climax

Part XII: Epilogue (Part One)

Part XIII: Epilogue (Part Two)

[naanima]

Oh dudes. I sometimes forget how not many of you remember or witnessed the whole Tyler Seguin as a Boston Bruins phase of hockey history. I gotta be honest I witnessed the whole thing from a distance because I was fully committed to the Flyers back then (all the heartbreak). The only thing I knew about him was that he was Bruins' hot young superstar who won the 2011 Stanley Cup with the team in his rookie year, and that he liked to party.

Dudes, the pics of him & Brad Marchand drunk & dancing on tables were legendary & amazing (below, you can Google for more on your own). Gods they were both so young.

But yes, from afar I couldn't help but like him bcos Tyler Seguin have personality in spades, and he just seemed so damn honest (so dumb). A young, talented, self aware himbo fuckboi ticked all my boxes, but I was starting to ease back from hockey due to some heartbreak. So I watched from afar, watched as his post rookie season didn't live up to the hype, watched him get skewered by the Boston media for being uncontrollable & a party animal, watched the rumours spread about how management had to post guards in front of his hotel room to stop him from making a run to get drunk & party.

It was a complete & utter shitshow bcos it was so public & must have been so humiliating for him. The Bruins organisation did nothing to protect him, they fucking let the rumours run rampant, let him be crucified. When the news came out that Boston traded him for Dallas I was shocked & angry, which took me aback bcos I wasn't even a Bruins fan or even really a Seguin fan. But the way everything went down, how front office decided on his trade (FOREVER curated on YouTube) , how the supposed last straw was him turning up to team breakfast late (I'm not even kidding - fucking breakfast? That fucking story kept on getting retold) left such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Despite all the shit that was said about him, despite the way the Boston Bruins handled everything, Tyler Seguin, the himbo has never publicly said one bad thing about the Bruins. My himbo prince might not be the smartest person, but he has always been receptive to feedback and is self aware enough not to be an asshole, in public at the least.

But honestly after Tyler's trade I only did a cursory look of his life there - he seemed happy, but didn't do further digging because I was on my way out of hockey completely.

A decade later I return to hockey, and I'm shocked that Seguin is still around, and still part of Dallas Stars. Looking back I'm fucking glad he got traded to Dallas. Bcos Dallas hockey fans fucking love him, and Seguin finally got a team of bros he can love & ho with proper. There will still be shits but Tyler Seguin went to Dallas as their superstar, as their great hope, they fucking love him. And in return he did everything he could - played the best hockey he could, broke his body, changed his playing style both physically & mentally - to get that team the Stanley Cup.

I don't know if Dallas Stars will win the Cup this year (🪵🪵🪵🪵🪵🪵), but the Stars are in the second round of the 2023 playoffs (be ashamed that Pavs got a Dick Trick and you fucks still COULDN'T win). And it has been almost exactly ten years since the Bruins traded Seguin to the Stars - 4 July 2013. Hockey & I love its narrative.

So, dear hockey gods, I don't even know if you all exists, and I know exactly how it is all superstitious bullshit. However, it has been almost exactly a decade since the fucking trade, the Bruins has been knocked out of the playoff, and in Tyler Seguin you have the perfect narrative. Are you gonna fucking deliver for me & my himbo prince?

Dallas Stars, are you going to show them all?

(Or we get fucked over, and hockey proves once again that there is NO god, superstition is bullshit, and the team who can effectively exploit the opposing team's weakness, and you know, play actually good hockey wins.)

I AM PREPARED. WILL I BE JOYOUS and roll around in the NARRATIVE, or is this gonna be my Villain Origin Story? (I'm gonna fucking support the fucking Leafs or the Oilers if these fucks lose).

[bylertruther]

That comment was so true, I was just thinking the same way. Old bylers were more open to criticizing the show's bad aspects and writing choices instead od trying to bend the whole thing to come up with excuses and explanations. Nowadays when you criticize a writing choice or something done by the Duffers you automatically get accused as if you've just committed a crime because how dare you think the Duffers aren't perfect genius writers that put everything intentionally without any mistake.

yeah! nowadays, in this corner, criticism is seen as a bad thing that you would never do to something you enjoy, and it's like... huh? it's okay to not enjoy something 100%. the duffers and co are not infallible and people don't have to like every decision they've ever made. that shouldn't even be something that someone on the internet has to say—existing as a human being in the world should've taught everyone that back when they were a baby.

even beyond that, as others have mentioned in other conversations, you can understand someone else's viewpoint just fine and still not feel as though there's enough relevant evidence to back it up, and feel hesitant because of how the duffers have consistently handled other plots.

like, personally... i struggle to be one of those #believers, because of how present the show's racism is in my mind. also, season three and season four are right there, alongside the show's misogyny and classism, too. and don't forget the little inconsistencies and anachronisms either! there's A Lot that i don't like and that i feel could've been corrected or reworked more effectively had they had a more diverse writing room or consulted others during the writing process. i like the general direction of the show, but there are a lot of details or ways they went about it where i'm like ://// man..

and.... controversial perhaps... but i feel that behavior is especially rampant in the byIer fandom and it manifests as the fanon that we can't seem to shake off.

mike does pay acute attention to will in some ways, but he's not the obvious lovesick, clingy, forever doting, golden retriever bf that people make him out to be [shout out to s2 mike tho he was built different 💔]. that fanon!mike is fans overcompensating for canon mike's behavior and presentation, which honestly has not been that fucking great as of late, purposely because he can't balance having both will and el in his life, among other mike-specific reasons, and because the duffers changed the way they wrote him post-s2. he does care about and love will, but not like many fans suggest, at least not yet.

but if you say that around here, you're seen as a freak weirdo mike hater talking about some ooc mike even though the show is right there and i could point to the 9384038049 times that mike forgot about will, brushed him off, was mean to him, or explicitly chose someone else over him. purposely! of his own volition!

and it also shows in how they babygirlified him, even though mike doesn't act like or look like that at all in the show, nor has he ever been described that way by anyone, whether in-universe or by the people that bring him to life.

And Don't Even Get Me Started On Will. Zon't.........

they had to recreate these new characters with mike and will's names and faces, because they didn't like what was on the screen. simple as that. but will they ever admit it? lmao.

as a fan of the show, and a fan of these characters and the stories they're representing, it's really weird to witness. there has been a distinct shift in the way in-fandom bylers talk about byler and the show and it started post-s2 when things started happening that they felt they had to correct. if they want to engage with the material in a way that best suits their tastes, fine. whatever. literally everyone does that. but to insist that the things that they say that go directly against canon or don't even exist within it .... are canon? and that everyone else using direct lines from the text are the ones projecting or twisting it or otherwise not appreciating the material? i have to laugh.

it's the same with other serious criticisms. if they can't create something to justify it, then they just brush you off as a hater because that's easier than acknowledging that maybe their precious bloated ensemble show isn't entirely perfect.

[sourholland]

friends to lovers w tom!!

And Suddenly I See || Tom Holland

BLURB NIGHT!!

this is so “you are in love” by taylor swift!!!

There’s something so rich and fulfilling about falling in love with a friend; the way you will see someone with a sudden fondness and affection after years of strictly close friendship.

It was like that for both you and Tom.

The two of you met young, both new to the industry and wasting away, audition after audition. He was kind, you vented about how badly you wished to book a role and how much you wanted to return home and give up. Then he took the role of Peter Parker, and you found yourself starring in a show that would break streaming records through HBO Max.

Somewhere along the way, you’d lost each other’s phone number and eventually ceased contact. It was alright, though. You watched his work fondly, admiring his success. He did the same, keeping up to date on everything you’d been in.

“We should all do dinner again sometime, yeah?” He asked, grinning ear to ear.

“Of, course!” You returned, sharing a short, friendly hug and going your separate ways.

For the most part, that was that. Both of you were happily seeing people, usually on opposite sides of the world. There was nothing there besides nostalgia and platonic love for one another. It was so beautiful how your lives had turned out, neither of you struggling to book jobs anymore.

-

In the year that passed since you met with Tom, you’d gone on two double dates of sorts. Comfortable dinners when you’d rarely both been in the same place, bringing your significant others along with you.

Other than that, a congratulatory text or two about awards was it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Splitting from your boyfriend at the time, you’d made it a point to hang out with more girlfriends and make memories outside of work. The next time you’d found yourself with Tom was a rooftop after party in the center of Manhattan. He was still with his girlfriend, but approached you nonetheless about the split.

“Y/N, I was so sorry to hear about you and Jack,” he said. “Are you alright?”

“I’ve been well, thank you,” you smiled at him, it was one of those moments where you’d have said you were fine regardless.

“Well look—I’m going to give you my buddy Harrison’s phone number. When you’re feeling up to it, you give him a call. He’s great, my best friend for forever, you’d like him.”

Tom was slightly tipsy, but it was a nice gesture. You did take Harrison’s number, and eventually you did text. He was a nice guy, a great guy actually. He just wasn’t your guy. There was no ghosting or anything, you eventually just let him know that you didn’t really see the talking going anywhere and would rather remain friends.

-

It was another year and a half before you crossed paths again, and contact was pretty nonexistent. Tom was in a relationship and you were not, you didn’t want any boundaries being crossed and neither did he.

He and his longterm girlfriend had split a few months prior, and you both wound up at another after party, this time of a film festival in LA. He still wore his button down, untucked without a tie. You’d changed into a more conventional dress. This time when you saw each other, it was different. His arms were around you a little bit longer, you smiled into his shoulder at the tightness of the embrace.

“You look gorgeous, I loved the film!” He complimented, making you fluster furiously like you did at sixteen.

“No Way Home was absolutely fucking insane,” you chucked, sipping on the champagne in your hand.

The remainder of the night was like you were just finally seeing each other for the first time. Never in your life had you believed in love at first sight, and this only justified it. There was no way something like that could exist, not in the world where you had known this guy for years and then one day after like five years you were just finally seeing him.

It was like being a teenager again, laughing at everything he said even if it wasn’t that funny. Tom loved this, only taking it as an ego boost and a way to see your smile that he’d always loved. By the end of the night, you’d wound up on the beach out back of the large vacation home hosting a hundred people at least. Tom was beside you, his pants rolled up, feet covered in sand.

“Works busy,” he said. “But if you’d ever felt like going out and catching up, I would absolutely love that.”

“Yeah?” You tried to hold back a grin. “That sounds lovely.”

[lovertaylorforever]

A "Love Letter" To Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor Swift,

I'm just going to get right to it. You've changed my life. (And the lives of countless others.)

But I still remember getting a karaoke machine for my 6th birthday, back in 2008. Along with the karaoke machine, I got some karaoke CD's. One of those was for your debut album.

And I don't remember all of the details. But once I listened to your songs for the first time, I never stopped.

I felt like I wasn't alone for the very first time.

I was going through a lot. And my family was pretty great, but none of my family was my age. And that was very lonely.

But your music became my safe haven. I learned the lyrics to every word on that cd and sang them every chance I got.

And as you kept releasing music, I stayed up to date as much as I could without a phone or anything.

And I learned so much just singing in that room. I learned that I could do anything, because I saw your dreams all coming true through hard work.

And since I was so young and naive, I wanted to do exactly what you did. When people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd say "the next Taylor Swift."

And I grew up and realized that 1, there's only one Taylor Swift, 2, I want to be the first me, and 3, I'd never survive the life of a celebrity. Oh, and also that I don't actually sing very well. 😅

But I watched you do so many amazing things.

And then came Reputation Era.

I had a phone when your accounts all blacked out. So I was able to really be there for the entire thing.

I remember when I heard, "why? Oh, because she's dead" for the first time and freaking out online. Seeing you in concert. Getting merch.

And so much more, but I don't wanna go on forever.

And now, over 15 years since I first got that karaoke CD. And things have changed so much. For both of us. In different ways, but still both of us.

And I don't know where I would be now if I lived in some alternate universe where you didn't exist. But I know it would be a lot worse.

You gave me an outlet when everything became too much. You became my inspiration. You became my hope.

And I can never thank you enough.

For being unafraid to go accomplish your dreams, showing me and so many other little kids that we could do the same. For giving us music that we can connect to so well that it has saved lives by making people feel less alone.

Thank you for being you.

Here's to (hopefully) 15+ more years.

With all my heart,

A Swiftie.

(If you see this, please reblog it on the off chance Taylor comes on & looks at some posts or something)

[lucifersresources]

taylor swift // the tortured poets department : the anthology rp meme.

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!

fortnight.

i was a functioning alcoholic.

i hope you're okay.

no one here's to blame.

but what about your quiet treason?

for a fortnight there, we were forever.

i wanna kill her.

all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february.

i took the miracle move-on drug.

the effects were temporary.

i love you, it's ruining my life.

my husband is cheating.

i wanna kill him.

the tortured poets department.

i think some things i never say.

you're in self sabotage mode.

i've seen this episode and still loved the show.

who else decodes you?

who's gonna hold you like me?

who's gonna know you, if not me?

this ain't the chelsea hotel.

we're modern idiots.

you awaken with dread.

i chose this cyclone with you.

i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

everyone we know understands why it's meant to be.

who else is gonna know me?

that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

my boy only breaks his favorite toys.

here we go again.

my boy only breaks his favorite toys.

i'm queen of sand castles he destroys.

i should've known.

we could've played for keeps this time.

i know i'm just repeating myself.

he runs because he loves me.

i knew too much.

there was danger in the heat of my touch.

he saw forever, so he smashed it up.

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me.

i felt more when we played pretend.

he stole my tortured heart.

told me i'm better off, but i'm not.

down bad.

did you really beam me up in a cloud of sparkling dust, just to do experiments on?

i was the chosen one.

this world is bigger than us.

i knew cosmic love.

for a moment, i knew cosmic love.

now i'm down bad.

everything comes out teenage petulance.

fuck it if i can't have him.

fuck it if i can't have us.

they'll say i'm nuts if i talk about the existence of you.

for a moment, i was heavenstruck.

i was heavenstruck.

i loved your hostile takeovers.

how dare you think it's romantic.

fuck it, i was in love.

fuck you if i can't have us.

so long, london.

i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift.

i pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.

my spine split from carrying us.

i stopped tryna make him laugh.

how much sad did you think i had in me?

you'll find someone.

so long.

i didn't opt in to be your odd man out.

i founded the club she's heard great things about.

i left all i knew.

you left me.

i stopped cpr, after all, it's no use.

the spirit was gone.

i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.

two graves, one gun.

i'll find someone.

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it.

my friends said it isn't right to be scared every day of a love affair.

every breath feels like rarest air when you're not sure if he wants to be there.

how much tragedy did you think i had in me?

just how low did you think i'd go 'fore i'd self implode?

you swore that you loved me.

you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

i died on the altar waiting for the proof.

you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.

i'm just getting colour back into my face.

i'm just mad as hell coz i loved this place for so long.

but daddy i love him.

i forget if this was ever fun.

these people only raise you to cage you.

these people try and save you coz they hate you.

they slammed the door on my whole world.

but daddy, i love him.

you should see your faces.

floor it through the fences.

no, i'm not coming to my senses.

i know he's crazy, but he's the one i want.

growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.

he was chaos, he was revelry.

stay away from her.

the saboteurs protested too much.

i'd rather burn my whole life down.

i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'.

i'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace.

i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing.

god save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me.

they think it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me.

you ain't gotta pray for me.

it's just my choice.

scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer.

we came back when the heat died down.

fuck em, it's over.

time, doesn't it give perspective?

no, you can't come to the wedding.

he's the one i want.

fresh out of the slammer.

i'm running back home to you.

he doesn't understand me.

handcuffed to the spell i was under.

it's gonna be alright, i did my time.

now that i know better i will never lose my baby again.

my friends tried, but i wouldn't hear it.

he kept me going.

i swirled you into all my poems.

ain't no way i'm gonna screw up.

ain't no way i'm gonna screw up now that i know what's at stake here.

florida!!!

they said i was a cheat.

this city reeks of driving myself crazy.

your home's really only a town you're just a guest in.

can i use you up?

me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.

i'm haunted but i'm feeling just fine.

i did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body.

i need to forget.

tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable.

love left me like this and i don't want to exist.

guilty as sin?

this cage was once just fine.

am i allowed to cry?

what if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh only in my mind?

i keep recalling things we never did.

without ever touching his skin how can i be guilty as sin?

there's no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk.

we've already done it in my head.

i've screamed his name.

they're gonna crucify me anyway.

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly.

i choose you and me religiously.

who's afraid of little old me?

you don't get to tell me about 'sad'.

if you wanted me dead, you should've just said.

nothing makes me feel more alive.

who's afraid of little old me?

who's afraid of little old me? you should be.

the scandal was contained.

at all costs, keep your good name.

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

is it a wonder i broke?

i was tame, i was gentle, till the circus life made me mean.

don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth.

they didn't do it to hurt you.

i wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me.

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

i'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?

i'm fearsome and i'm wretched and i'm wrong.

you caged me and then you called me crazy.

i am what i am coz you trained me.

i can fix him (no really i can)

the jokes that he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud.

i can fix him.

i can fix him, no, really, i can. and only i can.

he had a halo of the highest grade.

good boy, that's right.

i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel.

trust me, i can handle a dangerous man.

loml.

who's gonna stop us waltzing back into rekindled flames?

we were just kids.

i thought i was better safe than starry-eyed.

i felt aglow like this never before and never since.

you and i go from one kiss to getting married.

we're never quite buried.

you told me i'm the love of your life.

you blew in with the winds of fate.

you took me to hell too.

you shit-talked me under the table.

i wish i could un-recall how we almost had it all.

should've let it stay buried.

our field of dreams engulfed in fire.

you're the loss of my life.

i can do it with a broken heart.

she's having the time of her life.

i can show you lies.

i'm a real tough kid.

i can handle my shit.

you gotta fake it till you make it.

lights, camera, bitch, smile, even when you wanna die.

he said he'd love me all his life.

he said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short.

all the pieces of me shattered.

the crowd was chanting 'more'.

i was grinnin' like i'm winnin'

i was hittin' my marks.

i can do it with a broken heart.

i'm so depressed i act like it's my birthday every day.

i'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague.

i cry a lot, but i am so productive.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

i keep finding his things in drawers, crucial evidence i didn't imagine the whole thing.

try and come for my job.

the smallest man who ever lived.

was any of it true?

now you know what it feels like.

i don't even want you back.

i just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal.

i don't miss what we had.

could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived?

you hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins.

you didn't measure up in any measure of a man.

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

were you a sleeper cell spy?

in fifty years, will all this be declassified?

good riddance.

it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

i would've died for your sins.

i would've died for your sins, instead i just died inside.

you deserve prison, but you won't get time.

in plain sight you hid.

you are what you did.

i'll forget you, but i'll never forgive.

the alchemy.

this happens once every few lifetimes.

what if i told you i'm back?

i'm coming back so strong.

i'm the one to beat.

the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me.

who are we to fight the alchemy?

clara bow.

did you know you'd be picked like a rose?

i might die if it happened to me.

this town is fake, but you're the real thing.

the crown is stained, but you're the real queen.

you're the new god we're worshipping.

beauty is a beast that roars.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

[animehouse-moe]

Skip and Loafer Episode 9 Part 1: Drowsy (and Peppy)

Forget being a good episode or even a great one, this episode of Skip and Loafer was two great episodes in one. Divided into an A and B part that flow into one another seamlessly, but each address their own separate pieces, it's more than a treat to watch, it's an incredible example of storytelling within the frame of high school life.

⚠️Notice: This episode has been split into 2 posts because of length and image limits. This is the A Part post - Drowsy (and Peppy). The B Part post, subtitled (Drowsy and) Peppy, can be found on my blog if you haven't come across it yet.⚠️

Where do I even begin? The first half is dedicated to Mitsumi's longing for home and the comfort she feels in returning from Tokyo, but the second half examines how Mitsumi's changed since she originally came from her hometown, and how the people around her have changed and grown as well, while Shima remains under lock and key. It's just an incredible approach to the story that almost inserts a prologue with Mitsumi's return home so that it can prep viewers for the latter half of the content. It's tight, it picks all the right moments to focus on, and it never loses sight of what it wants to do. In short, it's beautiful.

It's so wonderful that I really don't want to organize my thoughts on it, but at some point or another I really have to get down to it if I want to say anything worthwhile, but I'll let Shima speak the first words.

He said the thing! He said the starting lines to the opening song, and I think that's so incredibly cute. Whether or not the pair really realize what they feel for each other is inconsequential, because their words and actions speak so incredibly loud it's wonderful. Also also, Mitsumi's dress in the opening? It's a simplified version of the dress she wears in today's cold open.

Side note, in the actual JP dialogue he says 'zutto mabukushite', it's just that in translating it to English they add a subject to his sentence. Because of that, it's far closer to the lyrics for the OP, which just use 'mabukushite'. So yeah, incredibly cute call back(s) that has me super giddy about it.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand, starting from the beginning. This episode adds (or really removes) a very unique piece to it: the soundtrack. It's substituted for really incredible sound design that does its best to capture the environment as candidly and as detailed as possible, and because of that the soundtrack doesn't exist. The first music you hear in the episode comes from the opening song, as we follow a cold open of Mitsumi making her way back home. Hell, we don't even hear Mitsumi talk in this sequence. Such a bold approach but it pays off in droves.

Which I love by the way, it sets the tone for the first half incredibly well in speaking to the themes of "memories" and nostalgia. We're not shown the whole ordeal in detail, but rather in bits and pieces that are pasted together one after the other, like a collage being plucked from Mitsumi's mind. Also, it sets up a really cool callback/comparison later in the episode.

It's quite the adventurous approach, but I absolutely adore how it speaks to Mitsumi's character. How reserved and quiet she is by herself, and that that energy she has comes from the people that are around her. Also, I really like this little piece showing the "flight" starting and stopping via the seatbelt signs. Another really benign piece of direction but it adds a palpable sense of creativity and passivity in Mitsumi's journey back home.

God I could go on forever about this. About how the view of the cityscape transitions into looking out over the clouds as Mitsumi's mind wanders through the experience, before switching once more into the lush and green terrain beneath her as she heads to her hometown. Or about how of all the scenes/sequences in this cold open, the longest one is Mitsumi staring out excitedly at the scenery when she lands back near her hometown. It's telling a story through Mitsumi's memories and I'm so completely in love with it. What I love most about this last bit though is that we don't see the scenery through Mitsumi's eyes for it. We see her reaction to it, but we're missing the first person perspective that the cold open flirts with through scenes like her flight.

After the opening however, Skip and Loafer gets back to its core as it resets the vibe with a fun little joke from Mitsumi. Also, it's the first scene to make use of the OST, and it's for comedy's sake. I'll get it out the way now, but mild spoiler, the comedy is the only place the OST is really used this episode. There's bits and pieces through the A part, but the vast majority is only supplemented by stellar sound design.

Also, you would have guessed it from earlier in the episode, but space and scale are really played up through this A part, and I do quite enjoy it. It takes simple and almost filler scenes and creates something more unique and stylized to better fit the episode. Also, faceless characters appear quite frequently through this A part which I found interesting.

Similarly, I love how P.A Works and Deai have been using obstructions and depth in their environments. It's a really simple piece, but like I've said before, it adds awareness to the world that exists outside of frame and focus for viewers. It gives you context clues like, "hey, the camera's in a hallway right now isn't it? I guess they're in a room off the main entry", and things like that, and does it while providing really appealing pieces that can help narrow your focus in the scene.

They use a similar approach in the environments as well. They provide something that's lived in, that characters exist and thrive in outside of what they're presented as or used for. Just take a look at these two images. The first is a super simple pieces for sure, but the use of a small stool/seat on wheels really speaks to the grandmother's involvement in the garden. Similarly, the watering can helps with that as well, plus the flowers in the background.

Now the second image is the piece that I really love because its a totally unnecessary piece, but I appreciate it an incredible amount. The tree's been trimmed! You can see where limbs have been cut off and new growth is beginning on the tree. What a completely benign piece to the art, but such a creative and impactful addition nonetheless. Absolutely love the detail and effort placed in this sort of stuff.

And lastly, I love how they render shadows and light in this scene, breaking up the light through the leaves of the tree just creates such a satisfying pattern and texture to the environment.

Moving forward once more, I really do like the use of montages/slideshows in this episode through that theme of memories. It's able to present so many pieces and stories that we wouldn't get to see otherwise.

Okay okay, speeding things up, Mitsumi and Fumi. I love how cute and wholesome their friendship is, and I love how they use that first person perspective again to drive home the incredibly strong emotional bond that the pair share.

Okay I said to speed things up but I can't, I love seeing the nervous emotions creep across Fumi's face before she tells Mitsumi about her boyfriend. It's so incredibly cute and well done.

Also, P.A Work's favorite thing, shadows and reflections! Love the detail in the water as the pair cross over the bridge.

Okay okay okay, the last piece I promise, I just absolutely love this scene and what it personifies.

So what is it, really? It's Mitsumi's nostalgia. Being at home, eating watermelon while her mom does the dishes and the cicadas chirp outside. That feeling of comfort as the wind blows gently, coaxing the slightest sounds out of the wind chimes. Remembering all of those places you've been, and that you want to visit again. Mitsumi eating that watermelon, seeing her mother, hearing those sounds, they brought back all those memories of the past for her. It's so, so incredibly beautiful and speaks so loud to the feelings of home. That no matter how far away you may travel, it's still there waiting for you.

Also, callback time! I had said it earlier and this is what it's for. It's a pretty cut and dry comparison of Mitsumi's life in Tokyo vs her hometown, really. Though you might be able to stretch it and talk about the differences in colors, as Tokyo's blue while her hometown is so bright and colorful by comparison. But at the end of the day, it just speaks to the two experiences Mitsumi has between her homes. How in Tokyo she has to get up bright and early to make the train to get to the airport in time, while in her hometown she's able to wake up nice and late and laze around eating watermelon. The city versus the country bumpkin, and I think it's a really sweet little touch to the episode.

At the end of it all, this was an incredible stretch of episode content. Start to finish, just so well polished and approached that I could gawk at the whole part for days and still find more and more pieces to pick out and even more words to describe it with. But, you don't need all that to really get the emotion across. This first half is Mitsumi's memories, her fondness of returning home after a long time away, of melting back into the comfort of her family and hometown friends, and the nostalgia that comes with retracing the steps of her youth. Just beautiful stuff.

Now unfortunately, I've hit my image limit for a single post, so I will be following up with a B part for those interested in the latter half of the episode where Mitsumi returns to school in Tokyo.

If you're looking for the second part, here's a link to it for you!

[time-shardz]

Ennead x AMAB GN Reader

The Servant of the start

PT:1

Ok I know I wrote GN reader but I don't see enough male reader shit in the community so yeah.

I don't see enough Ennead(Manhwa) x reader stuff I mean it basically doesn't exist so I decided to take the liberty to write something for it this is part one

I would put this on any other fanfiction website/app if it wasn't the fact I wanted to get a few chapters out before I wrote a entire fic for this

So enjoy

This idea isn't mine and is completely inspired by a Quotev fic I started to read so here's the link

Book Of Promos

Why did the world pick me to do this?

Why am I even here?

“I am Ra the God of The Sun

And who are you~?”

I didn’t ask for this…….

Ok that’s a lie I did say I wanted to change the plot of Ennead.

But this isn’t what I had in mind

“You who stood on this very hill on the power of chaos with me who are you?”

“Almighty Ra God of the Sun,I am but simply a lowly being with the honor of being in thy presence”

I bow down lowly to pay my respects as even though this wasn’t my home dimension I knew it would be a bad idea to anger a god.

Ra seemed amuse as I tried very hard to not make eye contact with her bright eyes.

Why must I be the one chosen to be sent to another world?

“How about I give you a purpose and a name?”

What?

“Rule beside me and you and I will make the start the creation of this world~”

Oh no oh nonononono

And get more involved with the plot?

That in itself is a death sentence and I will end up with just as high of a chance to get raped by God.

I simply wish to be a quiet NPC and watch from the sidelines

“Ra God Of The Sun it would be a honor to rule beside a great God as yourself,But I must decline as I am not equipped for such an important task to assist the creation of this world”

Ra’s eyes widen and she walks down closer to me her fingers clasp my chin and force me to look up at her

…..

Wtf is this so hot!?-

“Are you sure~?”

“Yes thine is sure Almighty Ra”

Ra smiles

Why is she smiling

What is she gonna do to me!?

Ra pat’s my head

“Very well From this day on thy name shall be (Y/N) thee shall be the first and forever loyal servant and will serve me and my future children”

.

.

.

.

How did this happen?

“Kekeke”

I look at the white haired individual in front of me in shock.

Where was I?

I was just returning home from the manga shop after I finally got the entire physical collection of the Ennead Manhwa.

Despite the fact I had long finished reading Ennead having the physical copies definitely felt different to only reading it online.

And now I was in this vast empty space

“Hey hey heyyyyyy~ are you even listening to us?”

I snapped out of my thoughts

I flinched as I saw the black mask with one eye stare into me

I gulped

“W-Who are you?”

The entity seemed surprised to hear me speak

“Finally your listening to us again”

Us?

“Thine name does not matter but what matters is thy is dead”

I’m dead?

.

.

Well finally,I actually made it further in life then I believed I would

“You don’t seemed worried”

I stare the being dead in the eyes….eye?

“Man have you seen Gen Z? Like at this point we could go through WW3 and not give a flying fuck”

The being stops for a second and seems to be thinking until it floats back a bit further from me

“Kekeke oh humans are still so amusing after so long,though aren’t you curious on how you died”

…..I didn’t think about that

“How did I die?”

The smile on the entity’s mask seems to grow wider showing some sharp canines

Are those real?

“I believe you humans call this trope truck-kun”

….

I really died to a fucking truck

Am I about to be isekaied rn

“Yes”

I was startled back

“I how- when?”

The entity smiles in amusement

“Of course I’m capable of reading minds I just decided if I want to or not”

Ok that is so embarrassing if he heard what I said earlier

“But yes thee shall be quote on quote isekaied”

“Where am I going?”

Suddenly the mask’s eye closes and it’s grin seems to sharpen.

I nervously redirect my attention to the entity’s tail which swishes around in a strange way.

It looked like how a cat’s tail would swish when it decide to play with its prey

I felt a cold shiver go up my spine

“That is for you to find out darling~”

Suddenly the entity seems to groan in pain and sigh

“Looks like our time is over dear,but I will try talk to you more along your journey,good luck”

Secrets of the Archive

•Originally these were gonna be called secrets under the Sun and secrets under the Moon for some of them

•Y/N wished to be a NPC but already knows their chances of being one is the same chances of Cale getting his slacker life

•Y/N will have some hidden powers cause I mean of course the unknown Entity doesn’t want their play thing to be destroyed so fast

•The unknown Entity says us for a reason

•Thine means I,Thy means your and Thee means you in ancient times