#this turned into a love letter to ronan

[thrawns-backrest]

Listen, what do you think about how the fandom perceives Ronan? This may be a strange question, but I saw post here about how Thrawn is an ambiguous character, he does both good and bad things, he is not an innocent kitten, etc. And I completely agree with this. But it seems to me that in relation to Ronan, the opposite situation very often manifests itself. If Thrawn is sometimes too idealized by the fandom, although he is a more complex person, then Ronan often appears as some kind of universal evil in posts and fanfiction. And…I don't know, it just doesn't seem right to me. He has a adverse nature, that's true, and his loyalty to Krennic sometimes pushes him to do not the best things, but there are enough moments in the canon that show his good traits too. At least he is really loyal man and not as stupid as he might seem. I just saw your post recently where you talked about him, so I was interested to ask your opinion!

Thank you for your attention and sorry if I disturbed you :c

please don't apologize, I love asks like this!!! If anything I should probably apologize because this is about to become ridiculously long :D I really like Ronan as a character, he's one of my favorites from Treason. He's entertaining, competent, somewhat churlish and has that posh attitude where you really want to ruffle his feathers to see what he'll do.

Those last two are part of the reason why it's fun to make him the butt of the joke and why the fandom does it so often. But having said that... you're absolutely right. I've also noticed that the fandom tends to be excessively antagonistic towards him (as it is with some other similar characters but more on that later).

And you're right to bring up Thrawn because he's the golden child here, him and Eli, and any character that disagrees with or doesn't like him automatically gets blacklisted. Which is odd to me since Thrawn is supposed to be controversial and Zahn does a good job of portraying that by giving us different characters' perspectives and reasons for liking/disliking him.

Sadly for Ronan he's very unfriendly towards Thrawn and Eli and ends up making a decision that goes against Thrawn's goals which now garners him a lot of hate. An interesting development given that Thrawn himself doesn't begrudge him for it in the books and even trusts him enough to send him to the Chiss. Which honestly means so much coming from Thrawn? It's as close to a stamp of approval as you can get from him, be it of Ronan's trustworthiness or simply his skills.

So if people really hold Thrawn in such high esteem, they shouldn't forget that his own assessment of Ronan was ultimately positive. No matter what role he plans for Ronan to play in the Ascendancy (even if that role is for Ronan to come to specific conclusions he can then take back to the Empire, ie feeding him some kind of information) Thrawn trusts him enough to, again, send him to his own people. People with lost of secrets that make them vulnerable.

And it's honestly a shame because as you say, Ronan has so much going for him as a character. The very idea of someone who's loyal to the Empire while being critical of Palpatine is so cool. It's literally something that can get him killed yet he's ready to face that danger if it means adhering to his principles.

Of course loyalty to the wrong party makes him pretty culpable but regardless, there is a good basis for him to grow as a character. As already mentioned he's loyal, he's competent, he disapproves of Palpatine and all the petty political games that dominate the Empire's higher echelons. He feels guilty for tricking Eli despite believing that he's a traitor. He even comes to respect Thrawn's skills by the end and modifies his answer when reporting to Tarkin so as to ensure Thrawn isn't accused of treason.

So very good foundation to build from. There's still his loyalty to Krennic (who is a pretty damn morally corrupt guy from what I've read) but an overzealous attitude like Ronan's understandably makes him liable to blind idolization so we can't really say for sure that he has a nasty motif for admiring Krennic.

From what Zahn tells us, Ronan seems to admire Krennic for his, quote, leadership, competence and brilliance and he does so to an excessive degree. He sounds pretty starry eyed is what I'm trying to say. Enough to cloud his better judgement perhaps.

Moral or immoral though, he's still a pretty cool character. Which is the same thing you can say about Thrawn. Funnily enough they're almost parallels of each other - Thrawn has honorable end goals that he pursues through corrupt means and Ronan (unwittingly or not) works toward a corrupt end goal but is pretty morally upright in the way he does it.

And come on you can't tell me he doesn't have one of the coolest descriptions (like Savit noting his eyes look older than he does) or some of the coolest inner monologue (like the "half a victory is still half a defeat" line). I also love how he hates politics yet ironically those political mental gymnastics are exactly what he's good at.

But I digress. My point is that you hit the nail on the head when you said the fandom idolizes Thrawn to the point of having a skewed perception.

Another character that I personally like a lot and whose standing in the fandom is very similar is Thurfian. Thurfian doesn't do anything overtly evil in the books and yet he's very often demonized as some kind of villain. Which I bet you is because he's in opposition to Thrawn and other fan favorites like Thalias (something that annoys me because people tend to victimize Thalias so much in their dynamic when she's actually a very brave and resourceful character. Who once held Thurfian at gunpoint might I add).

The thing is, people need to stop the whole pigeonholing characters into 'good' and 'bad' categories. Because especially with Zahn, things are rarely so black and white. Our prejudices as readers can be influenced by both limited and omniscient povs.

In Ronan's case, seeing him from the pov of beloved characters who he opposes is what paints him in an overly negative light. In Thurfian's we forget that these characters don't have the same insight into Thrawn's motives and logic as we do and that Thurfian is perfectly justified in thinking that Thrawn will one day overthink and overplan to the detriment of many. And if those words sound familiar it's because that's what Ar'alani herself says to Thrawn at the end of the book.

But to cut a long story short, I don't think Ronan deserves the hate he's getting. He's a very interesting guy - he's got a good foundation of principles, a quick mind and an amusing personality. Sure, he's prone to extreme bias, both positive (Krennic) and negative (Thrawn, Eli) that can cloud his judgement but barring that he's displayed an impressive amount of competence. Impressive enough to catch Thrawn's eye and we know Thrawn has a good sense for these things.

So basically love Ronan y'all, he's really neat. Even if he's not some paragon for moral goodness which honestly few of Zahn's characters really are.

(Thank you for this ask, I had a lot of fun answering it! If I get my act together, I'll hopefully finish my fic about Ronan where I plan to explore more of his motivations and how he could potentially find a place for himself in the Ascendancy. So fingers crossed for that!)

[squash1]

ayeeeeeee when do you think Adam realized that he has feelings for Ronan? or specifically picked up on the fact that Ronan has feelings for him?

ya know despite adam being like the smartest person ever, it took him a really long time to realize ronan liked him and to realize he liked ronan. like what was up with that.

i think a major turning point in their relationship is the scene when ronan is holding the baby mouse. i know that scene isn’t even from adam’s pov but it’s this moment of softness from ronan that he doesn’t usually show. really the thing that makes adam understand his feelings for ronan and ronan’s feelings for him are those moments of softness/vulnerability that ronan starts to offer up.

i would hope that adam realized ronan had feelings for him after the hand cream. because really, as ronan himself said about his dreamt objects, they are the closest he can get to love letters. to offering up a piece of himself.

as ronan literally brings adam, and only adam, to the barns — this sacred, him place — the full shift happens in their relationship because adam has these moments of reckoning:

he realizes ronan is so much more than what he had assumed. and more importantly, for someone like adam who claims to be unknowable, ronan knows him, understands him. i think the moment adam thinks to himself, what a lie unknowable was, in connection to ronan, is the moment he knows how he feels. because to be seen and known is to be loved. and to want to see and know is to love in return.

[excelynch]

are you the king, mirror, ghost, magician or dreamer?

(write the letter of the answer you chose on a paper, at the end you will have the result of each letter)

1 - are you a poet, king or soldier?

a) poet

b) soldier

c) king

2 - choose a part of the song meet me in the woods by lord huron.

a) "I took a little journey to the unknown and I've come back changed I can feel it in my bones"

b) "I have seen what the darkness does. say goodbye to who I was"

c) "meet me in the woods tonight"

d) "I fucked with forces that our eyes can't see, now the darkness got a hold on me"

e) "show me yours and I'll show you mine"

3 - choose one of my opinions about trc that MAYBE you don't agree.

a) the dreamer trilogy has a slightly more interesting story.

b) the raven king ending sucks. like what is that DEMON?

c) adam and ronan were a little quick (but they're perfect anyway, maybe because it was so sudden, i wasn't expecting ronan lynch's secret)

d) declan was right most of the time, he just wanted to take care of what was left of the family.

e) noah deserved at least a decent goodbye.

4 - pick a random thing that was mentioned in the books

a) the pig

b) squash 1, squash 2, squash 3...

c) adam parrish's worn clothes.

d) lampshade dress (or ronan's lack of interest.

e) blue's pink pocket knife.

5 - you woke up at 03:49 am and you feel happy but you don't remember what you dreamed about. later, as the day goes by, you reflect. what did you dream about?

a) I don't remember exactly, just one person in front of me, they says my name and then they hugs me and I feel loved and then aliens take us to a distant planet and I turn out to be that person is a little girl who stole a lego of mine when i was a kid and we started battling for the hand of the cockroach queen.

b) I woke up happy that I finally got some sleep, but dreaming? it's something I'm still trying to remember how to do.

c) I can't remember what I dreamed about.

d) me in front of a mirror and in that mirror I saw myself as a kid. they told me in a calm voice "you can grow up now"

e) a house with all the ghosts that haunt me, they say they can move on now. I'm alone in the house, there's nothing left, but that emptiness doesn't bother me. I like the silence after so much noise.

6 - choose a quote from the books

a) "he threw me out the window"

b) "excelsior"

c) "maybe i dreamt you"

d) "safe as life"

e) "i am being perfectly fucking civil"

7 - ok, without judging the inside of the books, just choose by the cover.

a) the dream thieves

b) the raven king

c) the raven boys

d) blue lily, lily blue

e) call down the hawk / mister impossible /greywaren

8 - which of Ronan's dreams do you most identify with?

a) adam's perfect teeth (i know, i know)

b) matthew, the golden boy who just wants to be a normal boy

c) the other ronan who was born to die

d) forests and more forests

e) a hoverboard that will save everyone in the end

9 - if gansey is the king, blue is the mirror, ronan is the dreamer, noah is the ghost and adam is the magician so henry is...?

a) the one that's left (maybe you didn't care enough to give him a meaning)

b) madonna's number one fan

c) the bee

d) the son

e) the master

10 - if someone came and told you that you were going to die in a year, how would you react?

a) "no shit, sherlock! now say something new"

b) I would accept my fate and live normally. "After all, we're all going to die, I'm just going to die sooner"

c) I would do what I was always afraid to do.

d) "I've been dead for seven years"

e) I would do anything to change my destiny.

...

if you chose king add a point for ronan. if you chose poet add a point for noah and gansey. and if you chose soldier add a point for adam and blue.

now just add which letter you got the most and tell me in the comments the result :)

a = ronan

b = noah

c = gansey

d = adam

e = blue

I hope that you enjoyed and sorry for any mistakes, I'm learning english :)

I was thinking of doing a "which brother lynch are you" and one about the marauders, what do you think?

[forgottenciara]

arthur & ciara: i think we need to talk

"We are meeting tomorrow night at dusk," Percy explained, "Can you get away?"

Ciara nodded, "Yes, I think so." She wanted to ask him if there was any new developments, at all, with their plans but knew her patience would serve them all best. Now was not the time.

"Here," He placed a letter in her hands, "It's from Ronan."

The leader of the resistance did not pass correspondence to Ciara lightly. He knew that it would be a dangerous thing for her to be caught with. Eager to know what was inside, she hastily said her good-byes to Percy and, turning the corner abruptly, nearly collided with someone in the dark.

Arthur.

"Ciara, I think we need to talk."

Ciara felt her body tense at the sound of her cousin's voice. There was none of the easy playfulness that was normally there when they spoke together. Her heart pounded in her chest. Just how much had he overheard?

It was then that she realized she still clutched the unopened message in her hands. "Arthur, I -- " She'd prepared excuses for why she out wandering about so late, but all of them seemed to fall flat under his gaze. What could she offer him (besides the truth) that would satisfy him if he had overheard everything?

He didn't wait for her to continue, "How is it that you know Lord Ormond?"

"Lord Ormond? Doesn't everybody know him?" Her voice was even and hid the anxiety she was feeling. Did he already know more than he was letting on? Had something happened to Cillian?

"I've never had the privilege. In fact, I didn't even know he existed until now."

"Oh?"

He exhaled, almost wearily, "It seems Cassandra has taken a fancy to him. Something I think she's been trying to hide from me."

Ciara felt a wave of relief wash over her, something she managed to hide with a laugh, "And can you blame her?" Was that truly all he meant to ask her?

Arthur shot her a look, "Every suitor I've run off in the past was for the best, I can assure you."

Ciara tilted her head, "Perhaps, but I'm not sure see sees it that way."

"No, I doubt she does," He admitted, " -- but then Cassandra is very naive when it comes to the ways of the world. And I intend to keep it that way. There are some things she ought never need worry over." He paused, "As for this Lord Ormond, I can't seem to get a straight answer out of anyone. In fact, the stories about him are so varied and -- frankly -- unbelievable that I don't know what to make of him." He paused, "But I've heard that he's often in your company. What do you know of him?"

"Goodness, not enough to satisfy you," She began, half-teasingly. "But I can find no objections to his character. He is charming and handsome and I gather he's had a rather exceptional life which, no doubt, has been exaggerated greatly. You know how the court loves to gossip. All of these things have certainly endeared him to Cassandra. But he is a good man. The day I first encountered him, he had come to court pay off the debts of one of his family's oldest servants and rescued him from the prisons. All at once he demonstrated that he can be both compassionate and forgiving."

Ciara hoped this was enough and Arthur would leave well enough alone, for now. It wouldn't take him too long to discover that the real Lord Ormond was dead and that would be the end of Cillian's charade. (This was before anyone realized, of course, that Lord Ormond was not a lord at all, but a serving boy who also happened to be a member of the secret resistance who hoped to dethrone Roderick Varmont and all of his children ... but she certainly had no desire to reveal that either).

But even if there had been none of that to contend with, Cillian might have truly been the most dangerous of all of Cassandra's potential suitors. He was the sort of man that she just might truly fall in love with him, after all, but Ciara doubted her uncle would allow Cassandra to marry the son of an Astairan lord. Ciara was beginning to believe that he might have the power to break poor Cassandra's heart.

Arthur didn't seem entirely convinced as to Cillian's character -- still, her assurances did seem to put him more at ease. "Will you introduce me? I would still like to meet him, myself."

"Of course." Ciara had no intention of doing any such thing. Arthur would be sure to recognize him as the Malconaire's servant. Had Cillian not been known to spill half a bottle's worth of wine in Arthur's lap on more than one occasion, perhaps the ruse would have worked. As it was, Ciara wasn't sure enough to try it. "... As long as you promise not to interrogate him," She added.

"I will do nothing of the sort," He teased.

"Arthur -- "

"Very well. I promise not to interrogate him ... at least during our first meeting."

"I suppose that is satisfactory."

"Good. I'm glad that is settled." A beat. "Ciara ... where were you sneaking off to at this time of night?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ciara was suddenly painfully aware that she still held Ronan's letter in her hands. "I -- "

He shook his head, grinning at her mischievously. "Hmm, no need for your excuses. Next time you and Godfrey sneak off for a lover's meeting, you may want to be a bit more subtle about it."

[asaelfic]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Yes let's do it!! All fic authors deserve a little self promotion, as a treat. I have 135 works so picking five is HARD. Every fic I've written has a little place in my heart and I would love for anyone to read any of them. Also I didn't include anything I've cowritten but y'know… if you like Dimiclaude… Rae and I have two fics.

1) with this ring (Dimitri/Claude, 67,351 words, rated E) I'm still really proud of this one. It was written for the Dimiclaude Big Bang and has some lovely illustrations to go along with. I really love both writing and reading long fics, like sinking into a good novel, so I'm always happy when I finish one. I LOVE the arranged marriage trope, it's so fun to play with, and I'd been wanting to write an arranged marriage fic for these two for awhile. The things you can do when your OTP is canonically royalty!

2) lake song (Dimitri/Claude, 58702 words, rated T->E) This is cheating probably, as this is actually a series of 5 fics. But I couldn't pick only one of them, and it's one of my favorite things I've ever written, digging into trauma and recovery and living on after something that's changed not only your life but the world you used to live in. Primarily Dimiclaude, but very slowburn, with background ships and worldbuilding for things the game didn't give us. I really enjoyed writing it.

3) in the age of kings (Emet-Selch/Hythlodaeus, 16069 words, rated E) I have some difficulty writing FFXIV fics because the fandom is very focused on things I'm personally not that interested in, but this fic flowed out of me like it was meant to be. So easy and satisfying to write. I love writing getting-together fics, especially if there's a dash of bittersweetness, which needless to say the Ancients have in spades. It's my love letter to the Hythades ship, I guess, and I'll probably come back to them again someday.

4) all this riot of light (Sylvain/Claude, 15035 words, rated E) I really wanted to write Claudevain, and the different outcomes for different characters on different routes is something I thought about a lot when I was deep in 3H fandom. It all came together and haunted me with a Black Eagles Sylvain post-game idea that turned into this fic, which I still love, and which made me really love the ship as well. So many fun possibilities.

5) who burns like fire on the rushing sea (Ronan/Adam, 63867 words, rated E) I took a years-long break from fic writing and didn't really know if I'd ever get back into it, for various reasons. Then my friends and I all got obsessed with the Raven Cycle, which brought back my fic writing bug and made me remember everything I loved about fandom and creating for a fandom. This was the first long fic I wrote after coming back. I was super proud of myself then and I still am now.

[thistle-and-thorn]

I just watched Katharine Hepburn's 1936 "Mary of Scotland" and I was a bit surprised at how pro Mary it was? I barely know the basics of the Tudors and Stewarts, much less any particular knowledge about the historical figure of Mary herself. What do you think of Mary Queen of Scots? What's your opinion on Darnley and Bothwell? What about Moray?

Buckle your seat belt. Of course I have unreasonably strong opinions of this. And I haven’t seen the Katharine Hepburn movie though it’s all my favorite things and people (1930s historical dramas, KH, Tudors) in one place so I should.

I think a lot of popular culture is very sympathetic with Mary…There’s the play Mary Stuart which I Love very much but is very pro-Catholic in its approach (in response to the playwright’s problems with German Lutheranism rather than Anglo Protestantism). There’s the tv show Reign (?) and the recent movie with Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan which felt very pro-Mary as well. And I sort of get it…like she was executed, leaving behind a young son, and she had many spouses and a cinematic life. The contrasts between her and Elizabeth are appealing—a woman married three times disastrously compared to a woman who never married, Mary being younger and beautiful and fertile, the irony of James I becoming king of England later, etc Some of the way that Elizabeth is portrayed in these adaptions reek of the ca 2011 Taylor Swift “there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women” brand of feminism. Which is…not how monarchy works lol.

My personal opinion of Mary is that you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. The more interesting parallel of Elizabeth and Mary to me is that they were both imprisoned at times when their religious affiliation and political position was dynamite. Elizabeth was imprisoned under her sister (also called) Mary, who was instituting an aggressive campaign of Protestant persecution, and Mary of Scots, under Elizabeth during a time of a lot of Catholic terrorism. Both were implicated in plotting to varying degrees of truthfulness and both were faced with a Queen who viewed them as existential threat because of their youth (and ability to have heirs), their sympathizers (including internationally, in Mary of Scots’ case), their claims to the throne. The difference is…Mary of Scots actually plotted to assassinate Elizabeth. The Babington letters and code are likely to be real. So. Like. There are consequences to that. I don’t know what to say. Elizabeth was extremely reluctant and cautious in handling Mary in the wake of her reign falling apart until she couldn’t be anymore. Elizabeth’s ruling style was very conservative…she didn’t make decisions quickly or lightly….which made her really, really effective but also could turn into indecisiveness and you see the benefits and detriments of that approach all over her handling of Mary. HOWEVER: You plot to kill someone, they’re probably going to kill you right back. So I’m not overly sympathetic with Mary in her political struggles tbh.

Her personal struggles on the other hand are different. Darnley was an asshole and killed her friend in front of her. This is wild. As to whether or not she had a hand in his death…like would we blame her necessarily. It is a 50/50 guess as to whether she was forced into marriage and sexual relations with Bothwell or not. Maybe she wasn’t but theres a solid chance that she was. These are horrible things and she was surrounded by horrible men who destabilized her position. That’s terrible and I’m sorry for it. I feel a lot of pathos for her personal life. I don’t have a strong opinion of Moray, except that I think he was smart about some things and stupid about others. He was a Protestant with a Protestant agenda and opposed Mary’s marriage to Darnley but knew enough to remove himself during Darnley’s murder. I don’t think he would have brought peace to Scotland lol. He had a habit of just…burning stuff to the ground lol. Which is a great authoritarian tactic and not maybe great for reconciliation.

Tracy Borman wrote about the gender of Mary and Elizabeth in a way which is sort of fascinating. Elizabeth played into her sexuality and femininity in certain ways—her dramatic dress, her appearance, and her flirtations with marriage and symbol as the object of courtly love. But she existed in a politically androgynous state—she was often called “the female prince,” drew strong parallels between her and her father, referred to herself as a King. She dominated the men around her in interpersonal interactions. She did not marry (even men she probably loved like Robert Dudley) or have children. Mary’s performance of gender was much more traditional and a lot of her biggest political disasters, like her marriages, are described as being the result of her passions and being “weaker” than the male power players around her. Elizabeth’s refusal to have heirs prevented immediate instability while also causing a lot of uncertainty. Mary’s son provided a future in a way, but also was the result of terrible persona situations that contributed to her downfall. No woman can win lol. I think we see this gender contrast, in some ways, in how they’re treated in fiction.

anyway, thank you for indulging!

[livvyofthelake]

please talk about your fuckass book you just finished <3

ok yay :) i literally neeeeeed to talk about it in relation to other books i’ve read recently so that’s what i’m gonna do here i heart making every book a conversation with each other… so you’ll all have to forgive me for comparing call me by your name to the dream thieves of raven cycle fame but i need to. its a comparison that literally begs to be spoken about. to me. i also need to compare it to the secret history and the sun and the star and most importantly. well we all saw the timeless video. we need to get into that as well!!

obviously what sets it apart from all of my genre bullshit is that it is NOT genre bullshit, like it's just set in italy 1983 in the normal universe. which made it one of the most unique books i've read this year to be honest and real.... i have NOT been reading normal ass books... earlier i compared elio's narration to the great gatsby but i literally have just only read very few real world narrative novels i've got gatsby, richard, and this i guess. i'm working on it though!

anyway it was veryyy richard core in the sense that it's being narrated from some point in the future where elio is reflecting on that summer and oliver and what it meant to his life at large, where richard does the same thing with narrating his time at college with his greek class and bunny's murder. reflecting on two very different things unless you wanna look at it with the keen eye of a total nutcase and then i could say that they're both simply reflecting on what it was like to be seen and known by someone who turned out to not be what you hoped and you didn't end up with him despite it all. richard papen you would have loveddd call me by your name... wow. elio pearlman you would have loved the secret history...

it was ALSO very the dream thieves core in the sense that um. well me when i'm gay and having kind of a hard time working with that and there's a guy who's just like me in a bad way who wants to fuck me so bad we both look stupid as hell... but through it all there is the through line of intimacy that comes from being Recognized… rip joseph kavinsky you would have LOVED call me by your name!!!!!!!!!!! (would ronan lynch love cmbyn? well no!)

i ALSO only wanted to talk about it in relation to the sun and the star because they’re both like. ok Gay Representation is not a genre but they’re both books about gay people that i read recently so like. yeah. it’s crazy how glaring the difference between those two books is for things that both get tagged “lgbtq+” on storygraph or however many of those letters that website uses idk. like one of them is clearly written so some dude could pat himself on the back for giving the kiddos Representation in his stupid ass franchise and the other is just some fuckass book written by a totalllll freak that happens to be about gay people. in essence one made me so mad to read and the other was fine. i would never go so far as to describe a man’s work as great though. chappell roan voice i don’t think men make good art. !!! and i really believe that sorry. when a man impresses me i will let you all know but it is very rare…

which brings us to the timeless video. for everyone who somehow missed that that means (you’re fake btw 🙄) the timeless video is an amv i made last summer when i wanted to make an amv for my guys from my books but obviously they’re from books. so what i did instead was gather a bunch of characters from movies and shows that reminded me of MY guys and edit them to taylor swift’s timeless. because it’s like. other lives and i see them in everything. anyway so elio and oliver made it into the timeless video despite all the sort of mean stuff i’ve said about oliver lately (not even my fault he fuckin sucks btw) and the fact that their relationship is not like. Endgame. BECAUSE of my favorite scene. from the movie not the book. this scene was lame as hell in the book it’s the part that made me go wow i think perhaps the film is much better!! the “is it better to speak or to die” scene… i talked about it earlier but genuinely that happened to my buddy kit herondale…. and then he said something and it didn’t go very well!!!!

anyway. yay i <3 blogging on my break at work!

[scotianostra]

On September 21st 1832 the novelist and poet Sir Walter Scott died aged 61.

Born in a small third floor flat in College Wynd in Edinburgh’s Old Town, Walter was the ninth child of Anne Rutherford and Walter Scott, a solicitor and member of the private Scottish society known as the Writers of the Signet, so called for their entitlement to use the Scottish King’s seal – known as the signet – when drawing up legal documents.

Whilst the Scott’s home near the University was a popular area for lecturers and professionals like Scott’s father to live, in reality the small, overcrowded alleyway saw little natural light and clean air and suffered from a lack of proper sanitation. Unsurprisingly perhaps then, that six of Anne and Walter’s children died in infancy and the young Walter (or ‘Wattie’ as he was affectionately known) when he was just two years old, Scott became afflicted with polio. Though he survived the illness, his right leg would be unusable for the rest of his life.

Writing was not Scott’s first career choice. He studied law, which he practiced after completing his studies. He later served as sheriff-deputy of his county, for our those not familiar with the term sheriff in Scotland one doesn’t have a star and six shooters but was a judge in the Scotland’s courts, a term still used to this day.

In the 19th century,  Scott's stories and poems put Scotland on the map as a tourist destination. And while his writings spanned the whole country, his heart was always in his adopted home of the Scottish Borders. In fact, the Borders feature in three of his novels, The Monastery, The Black Dwarf and Saint's Ronan's Well.

I wont go into his literary output this time, instead I will give you a  few facts about one of our greatest storytellers...

Scott contracted polio as a child and temporarily lost the use of his right leg. When he was sent to his grandfather's farm in Sandyknowe to recuperate, his passionate love affair with the Scottish Borders began. A second bout of bad health a few years later saw him convalescing in Kelso, where he learned even more about the old songs and folklore of the region. If it hadn't been for those fateful illnesses, Scott wouldn't have been inspired to celebrate the Borders in his work and it wouldn't have become such a popular visitor spot. His periods of ill-health meant he always walked with a stick, as seen in many paintings of him.

In 1786, when Scott was just 15, he bumped into Scotland's celebrated poet at a party thrown by philosopher Adam Ferguson . The two didn't speak much, but Scott later remembered being struck by the poet's dignity and the emotion that glowed in his eyes. Burns in turn appears to have been impressed by the young Scott's knowledge of poetry. The “scene” painting is an imagination of the event painted years  later.

Sir Walter who conjured up the fashion magazine term “glamour”.  It had a bit of a different meaning than it does now though — he actually took it from the old Scottish word 'gramarye', which means a spell that enchants the eye. It appears in his 1805 poem, 'The Lay of the Last Minstrel'.

Dark was the vaulted room of gramarye,

A moment then the volume spread,

And one short spell therein he read:

It had much of glamour might;

Could make a ladye seem a knight;

The cobwebs on a dungeon wall

Scott expanded upon the nature of glamour further in his Letters on Demonology and Witchcraft of 1830, when in letter three he wrote that “This species of Witchcraft is well known in Scotland as the glamour, or deceptio visus, and was supposed to be a special attribute of the race of Gipsies.”

It is widely regarded that  Sir Walter Scott  invented the historical novel Scott was the first English language author to enjoy worldwide fame while he was still alive. And with Waverley in 1814, he actually invented the entire genre of the historical novel. Five years later, his novel Ivanhoe helped to create our contemporary concept of Robin Hood, making the outlaw a nobleman called Robin of Locksley. This idea later inspired the 1991 movie, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, proving that Scott's imagination is timeless. Eventually, he used the financial rewards from his writings to build his house, Abbotsford, on the banks of the Tweed. Sir Walter  Scott served as chairman of the Royal Society of Edinburgh and was also a member of the Royal Celtic Society. His own contribution to the reinvention of Scottish culture was enormous, even though his re-creations of the customs of the Highlands were fanciful at times.

Scott has been credited with rescuing the Scottish banknote. In 1826, there was outrage in Scotland at the attempt of Parliament to prevent the production of banknotes of less than five pounds. Scott wrote a series of letters to the Edinburgh Weekly Journal under the pseudonym "Malachi Malagrowther" for retaining the right of Scottish banks to issue their own banknotes. This provoked such a response that the Government was forced to relent and allow the Scottish banks to continue printing pound notes. This campaign is commemorated by his continued appearance on the front of all notes issued by the Bank of Scotland.

Scott spent his last days at his house in Abbotsford, Roxburgh. He requested to be moved to the dining room in order to have a clear view of his beloved River Tweed from the window.

He died  on this day 1832 and was buried in the already derelict Dryburgh Abbey - a spot he identified at an early age as his resting place.

[ashes-writing-corner]

In the Heart of Winter

Chapter 2

The Lorcains only had to wait a matter of minutes before another royal house arrived holding banners of a white eagle holding a rose in one claw and a trout in the other on a blue field. House Nevrakis were the rulers of Thilux, the summer kingdom. Strong allies to the Lorcains, the Nevrakis were like a second family to the Lorcain children, and it served the other way with the Nevrakis children.

Siobhan held them in high regard, as they had never been anything but kind to her and her family. She was closer to Iris Nevrakis, the oldest of the summer brood, than she was to Aislinn. Countless letters had been sent between the pair, usually via one of the Nevrakis raptors.

Siobhan put an arm around Seoras' shoulders. "It's House Nevrakis. I think you'll like them" she told him.

"Think so?" Seoras looked up at her.

His older sister smiled. "I'm sure of it. Demetrius and papa were best friends. They grew up together. He may as well be our uncle".

"Think they'll like me? Like Ronan?"

"I believe so. They're really easy going".

Overhead flew the pride of House Nevrakis: Their trained raptors, birds of prey that had helped turned the tide in the War of Man and Magic. They were a signature in Iorera, and House Nevrakis adored these feathered, fierce creatures. Among them was a golden eagle named Nike, who was trained by Demetrius Nevrakis, king of Thilux and Lord of Summer. Close to her was a kestrel named Ioanna. If memory served Siobhan right, she was trained by Maia Nevrakis, Demetrius' wife and the lady of Summer. Behind them was a bird the autumn princess knew well: A barn owl named Vassilios, who was trained by Iris Nevrakis. He had delivered their messages back and forth for a while now, but Siobhan hadn't heard from Iris in a few months. He was followed by a female osprey named Klymene, a male sparrowhawk named Alekos, and a male peregrine falcon named Lambros. Siobhan wasn't too certain on the trainer of these birds. The other kids of House Nevrakis sure but she wasn't sure of specifics. She watched as the birds landed in the trees close by, watching their family roll in.

The Nevrakis were an eccectric lot, laid back and fun loving. It was said they were descended from the ancient merfolk rather than the earliest elves that served the Fae millenias ago. They loved the sea and the wind alike, and it was even said that summer elves even grew scales on their bodies as they aged. Siobhan had even read about a rare bunch actually being born with finned tails and webbing between fingers and toes.

They rolled up in beautiful carriages made from what appeared to be giant pearls. The windows and doors were lined in gold shaped to look like ocean waves. The driver and footman were dressed in the sky blue on the house's banners. The horses that pulled the carriages were silver furred, and their harnesses were made from gold and decorated with large sapphires. The Nevrakis were the wealthiest family in Iorera, and they weren't afraid to show it.

The carriage stopped and the footman stepped to the door to open it, but let out a rather comical yell of surprise when one of the riders opened it first, nearly knocking the poor man to the ground. Out of the carriage first was a short, pudgy man with a bald round head. His eyebrows were black and bushy, his dark green eyes bright with happiness. His beard was thick but nice and cleanly kept. His face was freckled and with a slightly hooked nose. His thin lips were curled into a delighted and joyous smile. This was Demetrius Nevrakis, the wealthiest man in Iorera.

"He's gotten rounder" Aislinn noted aloud.

Siobhan glanced at her from Seoras' side. "Hey, Aislinn, can you go five minutes without being a total bi-"

"Siobhan Aithnea Lorcain! Mind your words!" Neassa glared at her sharply.

"She's the one calling the lord of summer fat!"

"It was simply an observation Siobhan. Contain the calamity of your mammaries".

"Yeah a bitchy one" Ronan replied not looking at the eldest Lorcain.

Aislinn gasped as if Ronan had offended her. "Seoras, I swear if you don't muzzle that thing-"

"Not a thing!" Seoras told her through gritted teeth, his tone icy.

"Guys!" Seoc rolled his eyes, "It's like I'm getting babysitting except I'm not getting paid..."

The siblings fell into a heated quiet as Demetrius helped his beloved wife, Maia, out of the carriage. Maia Nevrakis was a beautiful elf, every inch of her radiated nobility. Like her husband, she was short, but carried herself remarkably well. Maia had long chocolate brown hair that cascaded down her back elegantly. Her eyes were a deep emerald, a signature of summer elves. Across her neck was a tattoo of a budding tree branch, the buds lavender across her pale throat. She wore a long silk gown of lilac, which matched the flowery headdress she wore. The headdress was decorated with ebony dyed antlers, giving Maia the appearance of having stag horned crown. Maia happily took a look at the Lorcains, her lovely lips a soft shade of magenta.

"Oh look at you all, it's been so long!" Maia came over to them excitedly and hugged the Lorcians until she got to Seoras, "I haven't seen you since you were a tiny thing. Are hugs okay?" she asked the autumn prince.

Seoras shook his head. "No, sorry".

"Oh no need to apologize dear. I understand perfectly. Not everyone likes hugs and close contact. My younger daughter's the same way. It's why I asked". Maia smiled kindly.

"I like hugs!" Ronan spoke out.

Maia chuckled. "Awww who's this little fellow?"

"Ronan. I made him" Seoras told her.

"Well he's a delightful little construct. It's nice to meet you, Ronan".

"Same to you, gorgeous".

Maia blinked and then laughed a bit. "A little flirt I see".

"And don't ya forget it!"

The summer lady bowed her head and turned to Neassa. Her face went from warm and welcome to somber and sympathetic. She took the queen's hands gently.

"And how are you, your grace?"

"None of that now, sister. I've been well, attempting to keep my family and the continent together as best I can".

"You're doing remarkably. I promise you, Alasdair would be proud of the work you've done".

"I certainly hope so, Maia".

One by one the four Nevrakis children came out of the carriage in order of their birth, lining in front of the Lorcains. Siobhan smiled, stealing a glance at Iris.

Iris smiled back, bowing her head. The eldest of the four, Iris was tall and slender with a slight build. her clothing was lolita styled, complete with an interesting mix of black, light blushing pink, and lilac purple. The lighter colors clashed with the deep black of her wild hair, which was highlighted with ash brown streaks and kept in high pigtails. Her bangs were straight and a tad choppy. In front of each pigtail was a small bow of light blue with soft lavender stripes. Iris had her mother's emerald eyes, though they were encompassed and contained by thick rimmed circular black glasses. On her left shoulder was a tiny frilled lizard named Xene. His black and silver scales shined in the sunlight as his claws dug into the fabric of Iris' shirt. Like Ronan was for Seoras, Xene was Iris' crowning achievement. The result of many years of studying reptilian genetics. It showed the summer princess' remarkable intelligence despite her eccentric appearance and demeanor.

Iris bowed to Neassa. "Your grace" she smiled warmly.

Neassa nodded. "Princess Iris, an interesting color combination and style. I take it you made this?"

"I did, thank you".

"You look wonderful. I take it then that your business is going well?"

"Oh very much so, your grace. In fact if you andd his grace Daimon would permit me, I would like to design and put together everyone's wedding attire" Iris proposed.

Behind her veil, Neassa smiled kindly. "We in House Lorcain would be honored if you did so".

Iris smiled to herself as the queen moved to her younger brother, Leonidas. Known to his family as Leo, Lenoidas Nevrakis was his mother's son through and through. He had her eyes and chocolate brown hair. He also wore an antlered headdress, though his were silver coated, shining in the sunlight. On either side of his neck, he had red roses tattooed. His beard was getting a bit long, his eyebrows bushy like his father's. On his right cheek, most notably, were a pair of slash scars he received from a fight with the youngest member of House Seiya, the spring rulers in Xisha. As for his clothing, he wore dull earth tones of mostly green and brown. Like Seoc, Leo was an archer of the finest calibur. He bowed before the queen of Autumn.

"Your highness" he greeted her with a respectful tone, "May the day bring great fortune to you and yours".

Neassa nodded in kind. "Same with you, Leonidas. Formal as always".

"Respectful your grace, and you're worthy of every ounce of it" Leonidas replied.

The queen moved on to the next sibling, another girl named Reah. Like Neassa, Maia had her children in a similar order: Daughter, son, daughter, and another son. Soft spoken and mousey, Reah Nevrakis reminded the queen of her own son, Seoras. She had long, light brown hair that trailed down to her waist. Two braids were made at the fronts of her shoulders. Her bright green eyes were polished peridots. Her thin lips were painted a soft pink-gray color, and on her head she wore a bronze and red jeweled circlet that was decorated with dyed red ram horns on either side of her head. Around her neck was a pink and green jeweled spider web like necklace. As for her attire, she wore a simple but lovely red colored toga style gown.

Neassa looked at the girl intrigued. "You wear my colors, princess".

"The colors of my house, majesty".

"If the day goes well".

The two bowed respectfully before Neassa moved on to the next aqnd last sibling. The boyishly charming Prince Zoilos.

Zoilos bowed. "Your majesty"

Neassa nodded as she looked him over. "Prince Zoilos. I see you've grown well".

If one didn't know any better, they'd think Zoilos and Reah were twins. Their eyes were similar, as was their hair color. The prince's was more wild and rebellious. His face was boyish and kind. He was younger than Reah, but he was taller than her. He also wore red and gold, perhaps also wanting to join House Lorcain. Zoilos was a trained speaqrmaster, even impressing House Seiya with his skills.

"You too wear my family's colors" the veiled queen noted with a slight smile.

"A show of respect, your highness, and support. I...I hope the day is good" he seemed shy but sweet.

Siobhan smiled a bit at that, thinking he would make a great partner for anyone.

"So...anyone heard anything from the other two?" Demetrius asked.

"No one's heard from House Eronen in months. No news out of Zaigary either" Neassa answered with a slightly concerned tone.

Reah fidgeted with her necklace, mumbling something Siobhan couldn't quite pick up. Something about "ice on fire, blood on the snow" or other. The autumn princess was suspicious.

"I'm sure they're fine" Maia said, "Kalervo and Marianna have always been the private sort. I'd swear it's a winter elf thing".

It wasn't a dishonest statement. House Eronen ruled the winter kingdom of Zaigary for the last four thousand years, since the rebellion against the fae. It was, in fact, originally decided that House Eronen would rule Iorera first. However, Alrik Eronen, their ancestor, believed that Iorera wasn't ready for a one thousand year winter. With that decided, it was only natural that a much more pleasant Reign would take control first.

Well...supposedly pleasant.

Siobhan turned her head as another entourage started to roll in. House Seiya were the rulers of the Spring Court in Xisha. A tightly knit family, House Seiya bore banners in the colors of purple, red, and green. It featured a red poppy on a green field with purple sideways raindrops between the poppy's petals.

Siobhan squinted in disgust. Last she had seen the Seiya banners, it was a red rose, not a poppy. The rulers of House Nevrakis looked utterly offended. Maia let out a soft quiet gasp, and Demetrius, a normally calm and collected elf, looked ready to kill. Neassa took Maia's hand and looked at Demetrius.

"Le'ts not make a scene, please" she pleaded.

The spring entourage stopped, one of the carriages a a well polished cherrywood color with red frames. The second one appeared to be an older one, a little more run down and faded. If one didn't know any better they'd think the older looking carriage was for servants.

But they all knew that wasn't the case. House Seiya's inner familial politics were interesting to say the least...

The two carriages stopped behind the Nevrakis and the nobles started making their way out. Daimon Seiya was the lord of spring and King of Xisha. Although short in stature, Daimon held himself high, and commanded a great deal of respect. Everything about him was tight and in control. He wore his family's colors of purple and green with pride on his ceremonial kimono, a red silk poppy pin on his shoulder, a further jab at House Nevrakis. His long black and gray hair was pulled into a high ponytail. His exceptional beard was braided down the middle, giving it the appearance of silver and black stripes. His face was hard and cold, reminiscent of flint. His one amethyst eye seemed to peer through anyone who dared to cross his path. His left eye had been taken out years ago, but not in some great battle like his people believed. Word had it that instead it was taken out by a scorned concubine's curse.

Daimon only looked briefly at the already large gathering of royals and nobles. He paid them little heed, as no matter what family or blood one was from, Daimon believed his superior. Yes, he even believed House Lorcain to be beneath him, viewing their honorable disposition as more a burden than a strength. Neassa was just a sad, pathetic widow with power in his eyes. Alasdair had been a fool. He knew too little about their children to form a solid opinion of them, but if they were anything like their honorable, foolish parents, well...the king of Spring was predisposed to dislike them. However, Daimon was smart enough to hold his tongue around the queen and her children, especially after the king's sacrifice for them all. Daimon knew it wasn't his place to speak on such matters, unless of course he was asked away from them.

The Nevrakis were a whole other matter altogether to him. Their families had disliked one another for years. Daimon believed them all to be little more than bumbling fools who wasted their lives on the most meaningless of things. He believed them to be wasteful, as they seemed to have a damn feast every other week since the War of Man and Magic ended. A part of him had hoped that after the Sinking of Nuxvar, Demetrius would finally take things seriously.

His hopes had apparently been too high.

Daimon shook his head in a disappointed manner as he held his hand out for his lady wife, Mika. A long nailed, delicate looking hand took his in kind as he gently guided the lady out.

The poison queen, as some called her, was a gorgeous elf. She was taller than her husband, her back ramrod straight. There awas an air of confidence and pride about this woman. One would find it hard not to look directly at her whenever she appeared, as her presence alone was so potent. No matter where she was, Queen Mika Seiya was always the center of attention. Her hair was long and silky, raven in color with silver streaks. Her eyes were beautiful violets on a pale field. Her own ceremonial kimono was also in the colors of her house, the obi decorated with red poppies. Her headdress was also decorated with the much hated flowers.

Mika turned to the other gathered houses, her lips painted a deep shade of green, a call back to her house of origin, as well as an embrace of her title as Queen of Poisons. She grinned like a cat who had just caught elusive but defenseless prey.

"Well...look who all's here. And yet, our future king or queen are nowheree to be found. What a shame".

"House Eronen will come" Neassa told her, not at all afraid of her, "If they don't we have to begin the ceremony without them".

"They're our future-"

"Their blood is still in the cauldron, your grace" Neassa cut her off.

The mood that settled over them was tense, even as the Seiya children began to emerge. Neassa addressed her children and the Nevrakis.

"Go inside. Your destinies await us all...and may fortune smile on all who are here. And all of Iorera".

Please like, reblog and comment :D

And consider becoming a patron on my Patreon if you wanna see Lore surrounding this story!

[bluehwale-main]

✨ poof ✨

a letter has arrived for you, full of my love and book recommendations (that’s actually the same thing recommending books is my love language).

Sorry it took me this long but I take book recommendations very seriously and had to think very hard about what I wanted to recommend. Even after so much thinking I wasn’t sure, so I just decided to recommend you many and hope that one of them will peak your interest and that hopefully you will fall in love with them the same way I did. Also I don’t like to spoil the plot and so I focus on how that book made me feel but please feel free to check the plot beforehand if you want to.

Okay enough of this pointless chitchat.. let’s focus on books now.

CLAIRE KEEGAN - SMALL THINGS LIKE THESE

Such a quiet book, begging to be read. I don’t want to spoil too much, but it was an excellent read.

JULIA ARMFIELD - OUR WIVES UNDER THE SEA

This is a horror book. Warning you beforehand, because my stupid self didn’t check and ended up being quite surprised at the turn of events. However scary, it was done in nonviolent way. Sort of. At least there was no screaming or jumpscares or any of that kind.

My other warning. Do not read this book if you are anywhere near the sea. I repeat. Do not read this if you are anywhere near the sea.

PHILIPPE BESSON - LIE WITH ME

Love story that broke me, shattered my heart into million pieces, but healed me with the tender love story hidden within the pages. Such a story… only life can write. Also the writing was so extraordinarily beautiful I fell in love with it with each word.

RONAN HESSION - PANENKA

It’s difficult to describe how I fee about this book. I wasn’t feeling excited while reading it. It didn’t make me grip the book tightly never wanting to let go anxiously awaiting whats going to happen next.

This book made me fall in love with it slowly. Deliberately. Every single character is so complex and so human. This book made me think. It asked me questions that will haunt me (in the best way possible) for a very long time.

And the last one because i certainly must be boring you by now…

NGHI VO - THE SINGING HILLS CYCLE 1-3

Listen, I love fantasy and I read a lot of it growing up. This series is one of the best fantasy books I’ve ever read. The books are very short and it’s a quick read but the stories are so intricate and delightful and the whole world is so interesting with it’s history and stories of its people… I loved all three of them and can’t wait to read more.

Okay… That’s it for now, I hope if you ever read them, you’ll like at least one. Hope you have a lovely day, take care.

Love,

Sissi 🤍

PS: sending you one big kiss from San because… why not?

SISSIII o(TヘTo)

im okay im definitely not crying mhm yeah im totally fine im not lying on the ground rn EVERYONE LOOK AWAY !!

on a serious note; truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much for taking some time out of your day to send in this ask ㅠㅠ this makes me so happy u have no idea <33 and pls don’t apologize!! it means so much that u did this for me and i’m so thankful for you 🥺🫶

honestly i’ve followed a lot of readers in instagram to get recommendations but they always recommend the same books over and over again and it’s mostly books that i’ve already read :-/ but ur list include books that i’ve actually never heard about before SO IM SUPER EXCITED AAAAA <33 im most definitely very interested in philippe besson’s lie to me because the way u beautifully describe how u feel about it sold me!! also, i have hession’s panenka in my tbr list and now that u recommended it to me, i’m so much more excited to start reading it <3 i trust ur judgement 100% U HAVE AMAZING TASTE 🫡

i can’t wait to fall in love with these amazing books, sissi <3 again, thank you so much for this beautiful list, my heart is so so warm rn ☹️🫶 I LOVE YOUUUUU AND I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL have a great day and take care 🤍🫂

(p.s.: you could never bore me <3)

[faerieclaws]

Once Hogwarts Legacy finally downloaded yesterday (had some internet troubles but got there eventually) I played for around 2 hrs before I had to go to bed and oh my god...the game is amazing. It's so atmospheric, and perfectly captures the wonder and whimsy of the books, and that sense of adventure. The music is exactly like something you'd hear out of the movies. I was so happy when I got my Hogwarts letter on screen, and seeing Hogwarts for the first time made me tear up, it was like discovering something new and awe-inspiring for the first time and the comfort of coming home all at once. And the visuals are STUNNING, I can't get over how gorgeous everything is, from the character design to the environment to the UI. I keep walking slowly through every area, turning the camera this way and that and gawking at everything I see, trying to take everything in and not miss a thing. While the character creator is pretty basic (you can't finely tune facial structure or anything like that) there are still a lot of options in terms of face presets, eye colour, hair style and hair colour. The combat is great, it's fast paced and fluid and so much fun- my favourite thing to do so far is cast levioso on enemies and then shoot them with magic while they're in the air. I've only met 2 professors so far (charms prof Ronan and DADA prof Hecat) and they're both really cool and interesting and I can't wait to get to know more about them. Also the intro to the game was both exciting and hilarious and I'm loving the story and excited to see where it goes. So, yeah...that's my thoughts so far. It's exactly what I wanted from a HP RPG so if any of ya'll have been wondering whether to get this game, stop wondering and go get it!

[voidpacifist]

the following is an excerpt from the sticky notes rewrite, which is still in its first draft. this is easily some of my best writing, so I wanted to share it with you. as a treat :)

content warnings for implied and overt ableism, though it is fairly brief

-

October, traveling south on I-81

The wind was whipping at his mother’s hair through the passenger window. Steve could feel it in his ears, warm and fast and unrelenting as the vehicle growled beneath his bare feet. It was autumn now, an unusually hot day, and he was twelve years old, and the year was 1979. In his head, he could see the individual numbers, the one of his pointing finger, the nine of his index and thumb tapping twice, the seven of his fourth finger following the same motion, and the nine again. It was easy this way, to pretend it was just a year, just a fraction of his life that he was withstanding.

Easy, and merciful, but ultimately dishonest to himself. It was 1979, which meant the beast of change had shown up to barrel through him. They were in New York not one hour ago, but soon enough, they’d be someplace new.

He wanted to hate it, the way he hated a lot of things that had happened in his short span of existence, but he couldn’t bring himself to. It wasn’t something he could judge as a good or a bad change, it was just…a change, really. The things he’d grown used to had ultimately not stood the test of time, because something about the last month had turned his mother into someone restless, and his father restless with her. The two of them stopped talking with their hands as much in conversations he was present for, and he sensed it long before they told him that they would be moving states.

He didn’t like the suddenness of it. But his mother, rock solid in much of her ways, had an underlying vigilance his whole life that couldn’t be quelled. He supposed now that this was just part of it.

A sign passed by his window that read in great, white letters the names of different cities. Scranton 20 was all he needed to read, dead center on the list, to know that his home state was out of sight now, passed by some time ago when he wasn’t paying attention. The thought stung — his chance to say goodbye had been snatched from him by the density of his own brain and everything passing through it. He felt like a black hole, not so much his mind destroying anything not related to moving states, but rather pressing them smaller until he forgot they existed.

He didn’t understand it. His mother adored the house they’d lived in for the past nine years, and told him often and at length about how much she loved it when his father had surprised her with the place. Once, she’d said to him, eyes alight in fond memory, the paint on the walls had been so bright it felt like stepping into a vacuum of color, rather than a colored room. If he thought back to his early childhood, to the ages of four and five and six, he swore he could snag glimpses of the same colors that captured his mother’s happiness in such visceral ways.

His mother, who painted on a smile and kept her head high for the drive across the country, but couldn’t meet his eyes when she spoke, fidgeted with the buckles on her purse, looked so frightened when she thought Steve wasn’t paying attention. Or maybe she did know he was — maybe it was just her looking for moments where she truly felt tethered enough to display what weighed most on her.

He pulled his school bag off of the floor of the car, unzipping the top and fishing out a notepad. His father had given him a new one each year since his sixth birthday, along with a new, shiny pen for writing with. At first, Steve had been puzzled by them, and a little bit bruised by it. The kids in his classes and at the park and at church never wanted to talk to him anyway, never wanted to face him when they did because they were afraid of what he sounded like.

He’d yelled at Ronan Harrington about it once on a Sunday afternoon, screaming what surely sounded like nonsense except in his head. Empty empty empty, he’d shrieked at him until his throat felt torn up by grains of sand.

His father, remarkable and extraordinarily calm even while Steve’s ire rained on him, let him do so, took the sting of his own son’s rebuke because he would never need paper and ink for others to talk to him and he would never experience the humiliation of people wrinkling their noses at how he sounded and he would never know fully what it felt like, to keep giving and giving and giving more of himself without getting anything back to fill the holes. His father let the tirade continue for an hour, until Steve could do nothing with the energy he’d siphoned out of himself except collapse to a tearful heap on the floor.

It will be filled, he’d said when Steve was calm enough to see his hands through his moist vision. You will meet people, and it will be filled.

The one he had in his hands now was hardly used, but enough by the few people he’d been acquainted with who got on with him that a few pages were sparsely covered. Looking over the four different fonts left his guts feeling like jelly, like his resolve could be felt waning bit by bit. The further away from the maybe-friends he’d made that he became, the less grounded he felt.

He scribbled where are we? in his scratchy, fresh-seventh-grader font, before tapping his mother on the shoulder. She turned and faced him, the underside of her eyes pink in a way that meant he should pretend not to notice. He offered her the notebook, along with a painted smile of his own, small enough that it didn’t feel fake. Taking the pen from his hand, she jotted down her answer, and he received it back in her loopy cursive. North Pennsylvania.

Having it in writing felt fiercely and wholly undoing of his first conclusion — this wasn’t just a change the way a change in and of itself was new and different and jarring. This was the awful kind, the kind that left him grieving for the months he could have had if they’d stayed. The same grief ping-ponged between himself and his mother in seconds, and he leaned over to kiss him on the head.

O-K? she asked him. She didn’t have to, because she could see the real answer in his face the way he could see it in hers.

O-K, he parrotted back to her. She couldn’t look him in the eye before turning back around, and the wind continued whipping in her hair as the outside world blurred beyond the car windows.

[taylorswiftandx]

Taylor Swift and Our

'Taylor Swift'

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): And our daddies used to joke about the two of us

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): And our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes and said, "Oh, my my my"

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): Take me back to the time we had our very first night

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): We were sitting at our favorite spot in town

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): Our whole town came and our mamas cried

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): We'll rock our babies on that very front porch

Our Song: Our song is the slamming screen door

Our Song: Our song is the way you laugh

Our Song: Waited for something to come along that was as good as our song

Our Song: Our song is the way he laughs

Our Song: I grabbed a pen and an old napkin and I wrote down our song

A Perfectly Good Heart: Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart, now?

'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'

Breathe: People are people and sometimes we change our minds

Change: Tonight we'll stand, get off our knees

Change: And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives

Jump Then Fall: The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet

That's When: And I said, "Leave all those in our past"

'Speak Now (Taylor's Version)'

Mine: And I remember that fight, 2:30 AM, as everything was slipping right out of our hands

Last Kiss: And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are

Last Kiss: Just like our last kiss, forever the name on my lips, forever the name on my list, just like our last

Long Live: The time we stood with our shaking hands, the crowds in stands went wild

Long Live: We were the kings and the queens and they read off our names

Long Live: The night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same

Long Live: When they gave us our trophies and we had them up for our town

Long Live: May these memories break our fall

Ours: The stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours

Ours: But they can't take what's ours, they can't take what's ours

Timeless: I’m gonna love you when our hair is turning gray

'Red (Taylor's Version)'

State Of Grace: We are alone with our changing minds

State Of Grace: Up in your room and our slates are clean

22: It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters and make fun of our exes

Holy Ground: We had this big wide city all to ourselves

Ronan: I remember your blue eyes looking into mine like we had our own secret club

Run: We can go where our eyes can take us, go where no one else is, run

'1989 (Taylor's Version)'

Welcome To New York: When we first dropped our bags on apartment floors, took our broken hearts, put them in a drawer

Wildest Dreams: And when we've had our very last kiss, my last request is

Wonderland: So we went on our way, too in love to think straight

New Romantics: We show off our different scarlet letters, trust me, mine is better

New Romantics: We are too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet

Suburban Legends: I had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs would surprise the whole school

Suburban Legends: When I ended up back at our class reunion, walking in with you

'reputation'

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: People started talking, putting us through our paces

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: But we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied

Dress: Our secret moments in a crowded room

'Lover'

Lover: We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January, this is our place, we make the rules

Lover: We could let our friends crash in the living room, this is our place, we make the call

Death By A Thousand Cuts: And what once was ours is no one's now

Death By A Thousand Cuts: Our songs, our films, united we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land

Death By A Thousand Cuts: Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

London Boy: He likes my American smile, like a child when our eyes meet

You Need To Calm Down: Like, can you just not step on our gowns?

Daylight: Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now, it's brighter now, now

'folklore'

Seven: And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on

Seven: Passed down like folk songs, our love lasts so long

Invisible String: Bold was the waitress on our three-year trip getting lunch down by the Lakes

Peace: Our coming-of-age has come and gone, suddenly this summer, it's clear

'evermore'

Champagne Problems: How evergreen, our group of friends don't think we'll say that word again

'Tis The Damn Season: I parked my car right between the Methodist and the school that used to be ours

No Body, No Crime: That ain't my jewelry on our joint account

Happiness: When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?

Happiness: In our history, across our great divide, there is a glorious sunrise

Coney Island: Were you waiting at our old spot in the tree line by the gold clock?

Cowboy Like Me: And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up

Marjorie: You'd always go past where our feet could touch

Right Where You Left Me: If our love died young, I can't bear witness

'Midnights'

Mastermind: I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails and the liquor in our cocktails

Glitch: But it's been 2190 days of our love blackout, our love is blacking out

Would've, Could've, Should've: Years of tearing down our banners, you and I

Hits Different: Each bar plays our song, nothing has ever felt so wrong

Other Songs written by Taylor

Christmas Must Be Something More: So here's to the birthday boy who saved our lives

Christmas Must Be Something More: So here's to Jesus Christ who saved our lives

Eyes Open: In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords

If This Was A Movie: Wrapped up in your arms and our friends are laughing

Only The Young: They aren't going to change this, we gotta do it ourselves

Safe And Sound: The war outside our door keeps raging on

The Alcott: And over, like I always do / ‘Cause I love this curse on our house

This Is What We Came For: I say, "Our place," when we leave

Official Alternate Releases

If This Was A Movie (2010 Version): Locked up in your arms and our friends are laughing

Cowboy Like Me (Clean Version): And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to mess this up

[zephfair]

9 and 15 for Will You Accept This Rose? for the fic ask game! 🥰

Thank you so much for this ask! I'm very sorry it took me so long to answer!!😫

Will You Accept This Rose aka the story that never should’ve been because I loathe the Bachelor franchise and yet it made for a shockingly successful fic. 🤷‍♀️

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Sort of. I envisioned a lot more but my lousy tech abilities and lack of time failed me. 😅 I had originally planned to have fake Tweets at the end of the chapters showing what the viewers thought of that episode when it finally aired, since I tried to keep each chapter to one “episode.” I just couldn’t get them to format in any way I liked the looks of when I posted the first chapter, so I left them out. I really, really wanted to do them with one of those fake Tweet generators and make them look fancy and official, but that would’ve involved me figuring out how to use that, and I didn’t. I played and played with just putting the Tweets in the text and trying to make it clear that these conversations were from fans, but again, I just couldn’t get it to look good. So I have a bunch of that stuff in a file because I never delete stuff; I hoard it. 😂

Also, it originally stopped after Ronan and Adam gave each other roses at the ceremony then just glossed over Blue’s ending. I wasn’t happy with that, so I kept poking at it but I wrongly thought readers would only care about the Ronan/Adam pairing. Then, as I was posting, I got so many comments supporting Blue/Gansey/Henry and I was very excited. So I went back and added scenes to suggest the Gansey/Henry happening right in front of oblivious Ronan while trying to ramp up the romance between Blue and Gansey and Blue and Henry. I didn’t know if readers would care as much as I did about them, but they supported it, so I indulged myself with writing their dates too. I was really happy with that.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

I learned that other people can enjoy fluff and crack too! I honestly didn’t think anyone would read it, let alone like it! I love reading humorous fluff and crack, and it’s all I can seem to write these days, so I was thrilled that other people enjoyed it. I mean, the whole story is basically a rom-com wrapped in cotton candy. There's no drama or narrative tension or real plot to it.🤣

I wrote the original fic in a week while I was stressing about looking for a job. All day, every day that week was: write a cover letter, send in a resume, then reward self with another 1,000 words of crack. Submit another online application; finish a chapter. It literally flowed out of me. It was 33-34K words when I thought I finished.

(Pictured is part of the thread I tweeted while I was finishing the fic and bemoaning the entire process of job seeking and writing nonsense.)

I decided to post one (1) chapter and give it 24 hours. I thought no one would read, let alone comment, and I’d slink back in and delete it, knowing that it had served its purpose in keeping me sane and helping allay my anxiety while I was submitting failed applications. Then it took off and I got the loveliest comments and started to meet people in the TRC fandom and I just 🥺🥺🥺 (My job quest was totally unsuccessful and I will be back in the fray in February so who knows if that struggle will shake loose some more fic from me!)

I also learned that TRC fandom has the best, kindest, most wonderful commenters on AO3! 💖💖💖

And finally, I learned that I could use the trauma of having to watch those reality dating shoes with my aunt and turn it into fanfic! I am slowly overcoming my trauma! 😂

If anyone else wants to ask, here are the questions.

[raynblaze]

Lucy’s Return

Lucy led the rest of the Wolfrik family back to their home in Moonwood Mill. Lucy shared one last hug with her sister-in-law, Ivy, and promised that she would be there to protect the family. 

"I'm right down the road if you need anything, Ivy." Lucy assured her. "Tell Arya not to stress herself out too much, we have to make plans later on."

Rory and Lux decided that they would patrol the streets and go back to their hangout, while Lou and Ronan had already went back to the warehouse that they called home in preparation for Lucy's return. They both already heard the news through a letter sent out, but it would still not be any easier to deal with once Lucy arrives.

Lucy walked through the door and saw them both quietly standing there. She could tell Lou had been crying, either that or he smoked too much. But the moment she saw him, she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She had been keeping it together the best she could for her family, trying to control her emotions. When Lucy feels something, she feels it with every fiber in her body. So holding back from the feelings she felt was harder than ever.  She wanted to put on a strong face while returning the family to Moonwood Mill, but the truth is she felt regret, guilt, fear, and sadness all at once.

"Oh, Lou!" Lucy started to sob uncontrollably and ran into his arms almost knocking him over. "What a mess we made. This is all my fault...isn't it? He's gone because of my dumb past mistakes!"

Lou lets go of her for a moment and looks Lucy in her eyes.

"Don't ever say that, babe! Nobody could ever predict that would happen! Lucan went on his own accord and Victoria made her own decisions, weather you raised her or not!" Lou held her again as Lucy was still crying, tears streaming down her face. Ronan was in the same room watching his mother's devastation. Lucy had always been present in his life, but he knew she felt guilty about his other siblings that were raised by others.

"Don't beat yourself up, Lucy. I'm not father of the year, ya know. Ronan here probably things I'm a loser, and my daughter definitely does."

Ronan looked up with a puzzled expression on his face.

 "No way! You're the best dad ever and I see how much you love mom. I bet if Lyanna sees how you turned out she would be proud!"

"Thanks, son."

Lucy was still crying but she started to calm down. Hearing her son and husband get along so well filled her with hope and joy. She wanted so badly to have a normal, happy family without everyone fighting each other. She knew that she did something right with Farkas and Ronan, at least.

"I love you guys so much." Lucy finally said. "Are you guys hungry? I'll go hunt for us if you want. I know there's no food here."

"I'll go, mom. You did enough for now, why don't you get some rest." Ronan said.

"I don't want want you go alone." Lucy was still scared to lose anymore of her family, even if her son did hunt on his own plenty of times before.

"I'll get Rory to go with me, ok? Don't worry mom, I'm on full alert."

Lou and Lucy stayed at the house and spent a little more time together. Lou knew he needed to give Lucy his full attention, and give her all the love he could. She relied on him for comfort, and knew she could let herself be vulnerable around him. Lou was able to make Lucy laugh for the first time in weeks, and she was so happy that she was able to come home to him and be in his arms again, after everything that has happened.

Lou likes to tickle Lucy to make her smile. "There's those canines that I like to see!" Lou says to Lucy, smiling back at her. "I knew my smiley girl was there somewhere. I know how else to make you feel better..." Lucy raised her eyebrows at Lou. "Oh, really?"

Lucy needed this. Lou always knows how to make her feel better, especially with his tongue.

[finishinglinepress]

NEW FROM FINISHING LINE PRESS: Can You Still Feel the Butterflies? by Lindsay-Rose Dunstan

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Lindsay-Rose Dunstan, MD, MPH (she/they) is a freelance writer, prison/police abolitionist, and anti-carceral psychiatrist catering to those with neurodivergent conditions and marginalized identities. Her work has been published in leftist and mental health journals, poetry anthologies, and Slate Magazine. She is the author of Growth Anatomy: An Atlas on Self-Love, available through Intersectional Press. She lives in Detroit. #poetry

PRAISE FOR Can You Still Feel the Butterflies? by Lindsay-Rose Dunstan

“Intense and infused with a deep sense of fellow-feeling, these poems reflect the lived experience of someone who has done some rough traveling with the wounded. Her words deliver to us a fighter, a guardian, a healer, a passionate lover of life. Joy Harjo said, ‘Maybe if we re-invent whatever our lives give us, we find poems.’ Lindsay-Rose Dunstan transforms the rough magic of this world into the flame of honest poetry, and we would do well to sit near her fire.”

–Rhonda Palmer, author of Confido: Poems & Essays on Death for Those of Us Who Haven’t Gotten There Yet

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–Kelsey Ronan, author of Chevy in the Hole

“Can You Still Feel the Butterflies? by Lindsay-Rose Dunstan is a readily-digestible, poignant, witty, and funny collection of poems that reflect on the self, the world, and the act of witnessing each other through it all. From letters to Dr. Viktor Frankl to imaginative dreamscapes of a free Palestine, to little pocket sized bites of science, their work pulls you in like a dream each step of the way. From one provider poet to another, thank you Lindsay-Rose, for the whimsy, the wit, and the witnessing.”

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