#this turns into a rant now. beware

[marurumai]

"would you still love me if i was a worm" is an important question but i also want to ask if you would still love me if my interests changed

[wlntrsldler]

i’m kinda feeling a jealous!luke rn…… how do we feel about luke going to cheer for fuve star in one of her matches but afterwards when he’s going to congratulate her, he finds some dude trying to flirt with her. and she’s clearly not interested but luke doesn’t miss the chance to greet her with a kiss and then look at the guy with the most annoyed, dismissive expression ever. then luke smiles. “sorry, was i interrupting?”

a/n: i know nothing about field hockey! beware!

"mr. d, i don't know how you do this," luke muttered, eyes darting between you and clarisse on the field. the score was 1-1 and it was end of 2OT. both teams were gearing up for a shootout for the national title. "i've never been this nervous in my life."

mr. d chuckled from beside him, placing a comforting hand on luke's upper back, "trust me, it doesn't get any easier."

"i think i'm gonna throw up," chris mumbled from beside luke, anxiously waiting for the referee to indicate that the shootout was starting. clarisse was third on the line-up.

"you and me both, brother," luke replied, chewing on his bottom lip. he tugged on his shirt, suddenly feeling confined in the fabric. you were so close to the championship. this was the final game and if you won, you'd be a back-to-back national champion.

luke knew how hard you worked to get here. he often got voice memos from you, ranting about how practice and training wore you out, but he knew you got up bright and early the next day to do it again. you fell asleep on facetime calls often, sometimes only lasting ten minutes before you fell asleep on the call.

"it's starting," chris said, getting up from his seat. "i don't know if i want to watch or look away."

northwestern was up first. goal.

"fuck," travis groaned, echoing the sentiment of fellow unc supporters in the stands.

connor and travis were sitting behind him, both equally nervous to see how the game would unfold. you and clarisse had bought them unc merch to wear to the game, but luke and chris wanted to surprise you and clarisse with diy shirts that said "number [your jersey number/ clarisse's jersey number] biggest fan." you and clarisse both laughed when you saw their shirts. you loved them.

by the time it was clarisse's turn, the score was 1-0 (shootout) with unc trailing behind.

"come on, clar," chris hollered, clapping his hands, "you got this!"

clarisse masterfully maneuvered around northwestern's goalie and sunk the ball into the net. the boys and mr. d screamed in celebration as the score changed to reflect the goal. 1-1. unc was still in it.

clarisse pointed to the stands, eyes finding chris' in the crowd and blew him a kiss. chris beamed as he saw himself on the big screen. he pointed to his shirt, mouthing, "that's my girl!"

"i love how two days ago you guys had no clue how field hockey worked and now look at you," silena teased, adjusting the unc cap on her head.

"we still don't know what's going on, to be honest," luke replied sheepishly, scratching the nape of his neck, "but this is the big game!"

"i get it," she said, nudging charlie, "i still don't understand football but i'm at my wits end every time i watch him play."

charlie chuckled, wrapping an arm around silena's waist, before cheering with the rest of the crowd when you stepped up for the shootout.

you were the last one to go and even that alone is a lot of pressure, but you were the tiebreaker for this shootout. the score was still 1-1. nobody has scored since clarisse, both goalies were brick walls and luke's heart was hammering in his chest.

"come on, five star," he whispered, biting his knuckles, "light work baby."

you took a deep breath and dribbled the ball. you were electric out there. you were strategic and quick on your toes. luke was mesmerized watching you play. he'd seen your tapes before, in preparation for this game just so he wasn't completely clueless walking into the championship game, but watching it in real time was something else.

you swerved around the goalie and hit the ball. luke held his breath. goal.

"let's fucking go!" you screamed, falling to your knees on the field as your teammates rushed to engulf you in a hug.

the screams from the unc fans were defeaning. luke was grinning from ear to ear as the boys cheered around him. chris wrapped an arm around his shoulders, shaking him relentlessly. luke couldn't contain his excitement, but he knew that he should let you have this moment with your team. he'll celebrate with you in a bit, for now, you needed to soak in this feeling. back-to-back national champion.

as the adrenaline from the win began to subside, luke and chris, with the help of mr. d, made their way to the field. chris wandered off to find clarisse and luke was standing on the sidelines as mr. d talked to your coach. he watched as you did your post-game interview. you were glowing and it took all his willpower to not run up to you and kiss you on national television.

when you shook the reporter's hand in goodbye, luke began walking over to you, only to stop in his tracks when a boy approached you. luke blinked, tilting his head as he watched the situation unfold.

the guy was... okay-looking. he was definitely an athlete too, based on his build and height. luke's assumptions were proven correct when he got close enough to see his unc basketball hoodie. the boy's eyes fucking twinkled while he spoke to you, a charming smile adorning his face that luke wanted to punch off his prince charming facade.

he watched as you took a step back from the boy, awkwardly gesturing somewhere in the stands. luke felt smug hearing you say, "well, i have a boyfriend and he's over there actually so i should go find him."

but the guy was not letting up. luke watched as the guy rolled his eyes, obviously unphased by your revelation. luke clenched his jaw, keeping his composure.

luke marched over to you and wrapped an arm around your waist to turn you around. he roughly connected his lips with yours, smirking inside when you moaned at the contact. your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him deeper. his hands traveled up your spine, pushing you flush against his body. when the two of you pulled away, your eyes remained closed, a giddy smile on your face as you breathed out, "hell of a congratulations, castellan."

luke laughed, placing a quick kiss to your lips before turning to address the boy, "sorry, was i interrupting something?"

you had to cover your mouth to muffle the snort that came out of you. luke was staring at the boy intensely, lips in a tight line, as his hand squeezed the skin of your hip in possessiveness. the boy faltered, taking a step back in defeat. luke continued to shoot daggers at him, not deterred by the threat, or lack thereof, in front of him. eventually, the boy got the hint and walked away, shaking his head.

luke's cocky smirk was unstoppable as he faced you again, "great job, baby. national champ, again! look at you."

"thank you," you sighed, nuzzling your face into his neck. luke welcomed your public display of affection. "are we gonna talk about what just happened?"

he rolled his eyes, playfully, "nah, not worth it."

"yeah, but it was hot."

"then yes, let's talk about how hot you think i am."

"shut up," you replied, kissing him again. if this was your way of shutting him up, he wasn't going to complain.

[sabrondabrainrot]

🌦️Dark Sun and 🔅Servant Sun

I tried my hand at designing Servant Sun and Dark Sun.

I'm getting more caught up on the lore!! Click underneath for art closeups and more Lore rants and AU idea! Plus, I have sketches and a comic WIP I've been working on.

😉

There will be rambly spoilers to where I am in the Lore.

For Dark Sun I was inspired a lot by the thumbnails, they give him red eyes a lot in the thumbnails and I like the smarmy red eyed look of the guy. Tried to capture his 'regal-holier then thou' attitude in his design. He's still Sun though, so I used OG Sun's palette (my first Sun design!) to reflect the fact they have the same beginnings. I don't trust anything he says but I know something has totally happened to his Moon (I'm really banking on the idea he ATE him/ ATE his intelligence chip) so he carries his Moon's bell and he also repurposed the star pattern of Moon to parade it around as like a symbol his Moon is at his heal. I don't know if I like his final look but I think it's because I gave him dramatically darker shading vs the other Suns.

Servant Sun! Here's my take on him. He's been suffering for over 10000+ years under Lord Eclipse abuse. We saw how he was being punished just because Lore Eclipse was bored! I feel really bad for this Sun, it was hard to draw a design for him. I think despite his servant title Lord Eclipse just keeps him around not only to keep himself sane but also a trophy/slave to show off to Moon and the others in the afterlife. I had this like monologue for SSun basically, "The sound of bells long ago stopped ringing for the daycare attendant turned servant but Lord Eclipse still can hear the sound of metallic chimes when the neurotic servant cleans thanks to his fanciful additions." (aka the chime of chains) He's also got an apron that's falling apart and SSun used random old fabric to patch it up (it wasn't random it was his old clothes). I was really inspired by Meagancandraw's design of Servant Sun!

Here's my AU sketches. I'm planning to clean these up and maybe color them? This is basically just the AU idea that I think Sun is going to somehow get reborn but be a being reborn from star power and negative star power? I don't know if it's possible? He becomes a mix of the two in my AU. I know some current spoilers and basically I know he may be immune to negative star energy? He can also hold Star Power uniquely and it 'taste good to him'. I will never let go of the fact he told Moon it taste nice like dried watermelon. His untrained magical outburst was also compared to be as powerful as Golden Freddy's. There's big theory he's going to die or be sacrificed but I have this idea what if he's essentially remade? idk just rambly thoughts. So yeah, he has a cool new look to go with his magical transformation.

BTW he is very sad cause he can't be near his family in this AU my brain cooked up. He's basically radiation incarnate now <3 His eyes are cracked because they're intensely pouring out Star/Negative Star power. Just a constant pull and push of power circulating in him.

this is the comic idea I have currently. I don't have a ton of motivation so any encouragement to finish this comic idea would be super appreciated! I'm not a comic-type artist so this is out of my comfort zone (I've made a few comics but usually they are pretty janky)

ON TO THE RAMBLES - spoilers BEWARE:

NEW MOON MY BOY PLS YOU ARE HIDING STUFF FROM YOUR FAMILY. BOY NO. HE IS GONNA USE RUIN TO BRING BACK SOLAR?

Blood Moon just took Ruin. Also Dark Sun repaired Ruin after Molten took him to die in the dead dimension?? BOY??? Also, Dark Sun did something to Eclipse??? Bro is plotting. I wish I could get a read on Dark Sun but I don't even know how much of the truth he's been sharing thus far. He has no reason to tell anyone the truth and so far he hasn't hurt anyone just stole a bunch of data from Moon and built a bunker to escape total dimension collapse...He's just a big wild card for me.

Then there's New Moon, He's just actually going crazy after meeting Old Moon. Sun can tell something is wrong with his brother!!! I hope he can help him but spoilers tells me otherwise. The family is trying! Earth heard out Eclipse and Eclipse is getting Earth proof that Moon is currently cray-cray. Lunar is kind of hanging near Sun and Earth because the creator is now actively trying to kidnap him. So much spicy drama.

I don't pay attention much to the Freddy side of the plot but he's also dying?? bro??? What about Francine? The missing mom/wife? Poor Francine's suffering, she needs her mom and dad! I like that Puppet is hanging around her grandchild more it is very sweet. Foxy also got his 'bestfriend' Puppet a house/condo. hmm-Mmmhmm. Definitely no romantic tensions there. Definitely not.

(side bar, I don't ship Kidscove but I do ship the Foxy and Puppet do they have a ship name? Also no hate to Kidscove I just think Foxy treats Sun like a kid a lot. I like the gooseworld Kidscove. Sun laid eggs, so wholesome.)

Lunar is just waiting for news on his trial and I am in suspense hoo boy...Then the stuff with FC being put in a new body and Frank is not happy about it. I def can tell there's big lead up to the astral bodies making a big move I just wonder what the move will be. I feel like now Lunar and FC are going to end up being more intwined then they might think.

Also I love Dazzle!!! AAAGH! She and Jack are so cute! I loved the ep Sun took Dazzle and Lunar to the store that was so sweet. Can't wait to see more of them! They're such a cute dynamic! I like seeing Lunar put his best foot forward to help Dazzle too.

I can tell Moon is slowly distancing himself from the others but it's like this odd thing where he's no longer obsessed with Solar being back per sei...but he's obsessed over how HE has to be the one to bring Solar back in his way because HE promised and he wants to be better then Old Moon and yeah...he's got a very warped perspective I feel like? But Molten and Ruin BOTH pointed out Moon is being possessed by something so I think he's definitely sick? Or something is keeping him from seeing the error of his way.

Rambles over :)

I do plan to draw Solar and Eclipse and Lord Eclipse next but I'm stuck on what I want to do for Solar's design :P I might make a poll in the future!

[clus444]

12." Please, Don't ever stop!" (John Price)

The one-liners I choose from THEM. (This prompt was helpful. I let a generate choose.) Mature themes ahead, Beware of everything (Is this good enough caution lol)

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I whimper out, "F-fuck...please." I shiver as John runs his hand over my soaked pussy. John smirks as he leans down and sucks on my neck. Creating reddish/purplish marks on my skin. His hands runs over my thighs and grips every now and again.

I can hear my heart in my ear thumping repeatedly as his manhood grazes over where I need him most. He's been edging me since we finished dinner. I jolt as his tip teases my clit. I try to look at the alarm clock on my bedside but my chin is quickly grasped back.

"Don't lose focus sweets. I'd hate to have to punish you seriously," He says soothingly in my ear but his wolfy grin says otherwise. I knew it was a trap when he got quiet and beckoned me to his lap earlier. His questions should have ranged alarm bells or maybe it did and I was too dumb to notice.

"Do you know what restraint is wifey?"

"Do you know what it's like to fight teeth and nail to hold back your desires for another when you're so far away?''

A sharp grin spreads onto his face, "Let me give you your first lesson in holdin' back."

He is such a prick. If your vision wasn't hazy or your pussy wasn't responding the way it was, you could've kicked him. But you couldn't lie and say you didn't love it. The way he allows you to stop thinking in some moments. The way you try to be two steps ahead of everything but he's already at three. The way he knows when to step in and when to let you handle it yourself ( even then he's not too far behind).

He doesn't want to be an authority figure to you. He wants to be your protector, someone to turn to when you're sad, someone to rant to when you get red in the face from crying or tears pouring out your eyes when you're pissed. He wants to be yours just as much as you want to be his. You whine out when John grinds his dick over your pussy.

"Shhh... can't hear what she needs when your whining love," at this point John is thrusting his tip into your hole. You clench aimlessly around it when you feel it. With every clench, you swear you can feel a slick rush out of you. A soft wet sound from your cunt is heard but you can't dare to begin to be embarrassed. Just want an orgasm to soothe the pressure in your pussy. "John... plea- please. Want more," Tears well in my eyes.

He snickers," Since you asked so nicely." He begins pushing into my wet cavern. My mouth hangs open as a mewl comes out. John is no small man. Just like the guns he carries, there's weight between his legs that he carries as well. The stretch isn't painful but stings in between are apparent. "Let me in, love" John trails kisses from my neck to my jaw then landing on my lips.

I try to stretch open my legs as much as I can and he slips in deeper. My head falls flat on the bed. John pushes the last of himself inside. I can feel him close to my fucking cervix. 'Lord give me strength' I say in my head. My walls expand and moisten even more as if it's preparing for a pounding it knows it's coming.

"Please move," I moan as I feel John widen his stance. He starts off slow but quickly gains speed. John takes one of his hands to grasps my hands and holds it against the bed but above my head. John takes his free arm and hooks my leg over. I gasp and moan as he pounds into my pussy.

My eyes roll to the back of my head. He angles his head up to hit my G-spot to make me see stars. John groans into my ear as his cock slides in and out.

"Please!... Don't e-ever stop," I cry out as pressure builds in my lower abdomen.

"Give it to me baby. Let me have it," John growls as he slows down and focus on going deeper and rearranging these guts. "God, I could marry him'. Dick game should be good after all this teasing. I feel my body jerk and my heart speeds up as I get close. And if by throbbing of his cock he is too.

*pat...pat... pat pat*

He starts hammering into me again with what feels like desperation now. I feel something bloom in my chest. It's different from what I've felt in other relationships. It's overwhelming and starts to fill up my body. My words need a release just like my body.

"I-I love youuu," I moan as I cum. It comes out in ripples, making my hips buck involuntarily. My toes curl on the edge of cramping from how tense I hold them. I feel John join not too shortly after.

"I love you too, the love of my life."

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I wrote this as a way to introduce my masterlisttt.

[dumb-duxky]

Anger

Here is raph, not really what I envisioned when I started drawing but I like how it came out anyways ^^

Haven't really been drawing him bc I didn't really know how without doing him dirty...I'm not a fan of what I did for raphs day during tmaynt 🪦

Tried a new way to color, or new brushes to use, and I kinda like how it turned out 😋

[rant about anger under the cut lmao] [beware its a whole lot of (personal) yapping 😖/let me know if i should delete the yapping here]

__

I really like the kind of red waterpaint on raph, I feel like it really kind of adds onto how I personally feel when I get angry. It's just a feeling that creeps up on you. Sometimes it's sudden, other times it kind of builds up. But the feeling of anger makes you feel dirty and guilty in the end anyways, so it always is the same, yet so easy to fall back to.

Anger is actually a huge problem for me, and I usually explode on my siblings. It's not fair for me or them, and it always makes me feel terrible and dirty after. It's most likely a passed down thing, since my mom was always like that, then me, and now it's appearing in my younger brother. The only difference is that mine is very common and even they seem weary to not trigger me at times, which is such a huge L for me honestly ☠️

What I'm trying to say is that I really do understand Raph when he just gets angry for everything, its very relatable. Mostly 2012 raph. I relate to that Mikey too, honestly just the both of them. The anger is just so simple and complex, yet very annoying 💀

I do want to say that it's not as bad as before, as I used to get a little violent, and say more hurtful things, but now while i still get anger, I'm very careful not to seriously hurt anyone, mentally. I would never forgive myself if I got physical again. Unlike before, I am now an older teen, and I refuse to have my anger control me and have more permanent consequences. Also it kills me with guilt.

But now I've learned how to be a silly lil fellow, and that helps a lot more than what you would think ☠️

I will say that these days i have a very righteous anger, where I want everything to be orderly and fair. I get angry when my siblings act irrationally or get hurt, I do get protective, and it makes me feel like a dog 💀 I have been able to sniff out bad people long before they are revealed to be bad, such is the case in some of my sister friends (I'm right 100% of the time ☠️)

OK I'm going to shut up now I'm actually making myself angry for yapping tf ⚰️

(Might delete this rant here later tbh)

[cookiesupplier]

Hell Aint So Bad - Part Twenty

pairing: Noah Sebastian x ofc (Ellie)

warnings/tropes: slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, mentions of torture, thoughts of religious ideology, minor violence, swearing, cheating. Also, for this chapter, CLOWNS.

summary: Ellie was lost in the world, homeless with no idea what to do and nowhere to go.. Who would have thought that one day, she’d end up working in hell itself.. And what does this even mean?

author’s note: Unbetaed, readers beware. And again, I leave you with Noah at the end.. I'd apologise, but...

tags: @spicywhenspeaking @bngurngheart @cncohshit @valiantroeagleangel @blackveilomens @dominuslunae @tearfallpixie @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747 @notingridslurkaccount @lyschko666 @lacktoesandtoddlerants @jilliemiw86 @emmmm127 @laurpartyprogram

Ellie had a good night with Nicholas, they sat, and they talked, but not about Noah. He kept to his agreement to avoid continuing with the subject of the other demon lord, and she appreciated that. Instead, they talked about everything else under the sun, almost. Movies, music, what was happening in the mortal world, and how reincarnation in effect worked now that it was in reality something that she had to think about. It was about the soul, about being reborn, a new life, that she wouldn’t be her as flesh and blood, that she was a new person. Which brought about the big question she just had to ask him. Could she become a cockroach in her next life? That was entirely something that she would not look forward to, ever, and if that was a possibility, she called bullshit on Jolly and Folio’s reasons for not doing it. Absolute bullshit!

Apparently, with the way Nicholas had explained it to her, with his amused grin after her little rant, only those who reincarnated without learning their lessons ended up that way, which shocked her. Ellie had been under the impression that they didn’t allow that, and Nicholas had shaken his head. There were levels of punishment, and while there were some that were here for eternity, there were others, that got to a point that any form of punishment became derivative and pointless. The souls themselves demanded reincarnation, and if those that punished them came to a point that they caved and gave in, that was exactly what happened. Maybe it wasn’t a cockroach, maybe it would be something equally detestable to the soul, but either way, it was always a vile gamble they had to make.

So, thankfully, if she chose to do this, she wouldn’t end up as a cockroach, and for that, she considered it a blessing, but also, the thought of becoming someone else, and having no control over what could happen in another life, she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She needed time to think. At that, Nicholas had nodded and agreed, that this wasn’t a decision anyone should take lightly. Hearing all of this, made everything with Jolly and Folio staying back from reincarnation make so much sense, she’d never questioned it too much before anyway, selfishly if she was honest, never wanting to consider the thought of losing her friends while she was here, but this just settled even more for her.

As a whole, the night just left her with so many questions, and yet, also, helped give her a little hope. Funny. Talking about being dead, finally talking about it, and what it meant, gave her hope.

The next morning, it wasn’t as hard to get out of bed. Not only that, Ellie got up, and she got dressed, made her food at home instead of a delivery this time… and then even managed to make it to work for the first time in over a week.

Ellie paused at the door to the office, taking in a breath, she could do this, she’d talked to Nicholas for hours last night. They were her friends, they were still her friends, it wasn’t like any of them had truly changed after all, it was just, different. Yes, in some ways it felt like her world had been turned on its head, literally upside down, inside out, all over again, just like when she came here in the first place. Just like when she first became homeless. She’d survived it before, she could survive it again. Ellie was a survivor, she always had been, right from childhood. She’d survived her birth mother who didn’t want her and abandoned her, a father and stepmother who had neglected her, friends that, were only her friends when it was convenient for her. When she’d needed them most, they’d all conveniently disappeared from her life. The streets had been no easier, though, surprising, Ellie would say living on the street, it was there she found kindness in some places than she had in the rest of the world. Then she had come to Hell. A whole new stage in her life, well, death.

Pushing the door open, she walked into the office to find Jolly and Folio already there. Not that it was that surprising, she was about an hour later than she would have usually arrived to work on a normal day.

“Sorry I’m late, only about a week, but I made it I guess?”

Glancing between them, there was a hesitation there, she could see it, they were wary. Ellie supposed she couldn’t blame them, she’d been avoiding them, for all they knew she was here to blow up and scream absolute fury at them for their part in the deception.. and that was, well…

“So, I was thinking, for lunch, pizzeria, down the road, who’s in?”

It wasn’t just that she forgave them for not telling her, it was that, and she wanted her friends back. If they had to build their friendships back up from scratch, she’d do it, if not…

She missed her friends so badly, and she felt so alone right now she needed them, her friends.

“Holy shit, YES!”

Folio was the first one to speak, which didn’t surprise her one little bit, as he was right there, jumping at the chance to rush over and wrap her up in a bear hug. His arms wrapped around her so tight she would swear that she couldn’t breathe for a second there, not that she really needed to, but even while dead, as a soul, it was kind of a second habit.

“Folio, can’t, breathe.”

Hearing him chuckle in response confused her for a second until she was patting him on the back and heard Jolly from off to the side, who was patting Folio’s shoulder,

“You’ll get used to not really needing to, Sweetheart, but come on, let her go, I want a hug too.”

When Folio let her go, she blinked at him, Jolly’s words sinking in, but despite knowing that he was right, and she didn’t need to, the human innate instinct to breathe kicked in, and there she was taking in a deep breath, letting the air fill her lungs. Looking over to Jolly, eyes wide, he just smiled to her warmly,

“Don’t worry, we all do it. Just because we don’t need to, doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel good. It actually feels a bit like a high if you can stop breathing long enough before taking that first sweet breath. Such a rush. My record for not breathing is half an hour.”

“TWO HOURS!”

Folio exclaimed with a bright grin, proud that he could claim the title here, as competitive as ever, Ellie just laughed, shaking her head, ridiculous. Of course, he would take pride in that. However, the fact that Jolly actually threw in the titbit about not breathing about experiencing a high, prompted her to raise an eyebrow at him, which was, wow, cheeky. She wondered what other things they could get up to being dead that they hadn’t told her about before.

“That was while you were drunk, and right before you passed out on the floor. No one can prove whether passed out from the liquor or the lack of oxygen, or both.”

“Despite the fact that neither of those things is supposed to have quite the same effect on him in Hell as they used to?”

“Exactly.”

Jolly raised an eyebrow as he smiled, Ellie got his point crystal clear as Folio rolled his eyes, waving off the entire back and forth between them, declaring them as bullying him and deciding that making fun of him was pointless, he was better when it came to this no matter what. Even against demons, they might have fantastic lung capacity, but they actually needed to breathe. They were alive and while they could probably rival Jolly’s half an hour, apparently not Folio’s two hours, not at all. Human, souls, while their bodies functioned normally, sure, but it was just different here, in Hell, it was confusing to think about really, not needing to breathe, but still feeling hungry and eating. See, confusing! Where was the line? All Ellie could think, when it came down to it, was magic. Answer to everything, right? Right. Otherwise, she just couldn’t wrap her head around it. As it was, bonding with these two in a whole different way than before, over being dead and what that meant for them, it was going to be interesting indeed.

Giving into a Jolly hug was sweet, his arms wrapping around her soft and warm after being accosted by her Folio hug, giggling softly as he hugged her tightly, and said softly,

“Good to have you back Sweetheart, I’ve been going crazy dealing with his zoomies every day.”

Smiling as he let her go, Folio and his zoomies, honestly, he was like one of those tiny little puppy dogs sometimes, running around with no off switch. Not that any of them told him that. Mostly because if they dared, he’d probably get that puppy dog awful pout on his face and whine at them about it. But at least it also made him easier to handle, fun, games, and treats! Even so, she was sure Jolly would have been just fine without her, he had been before her, and he would have been again, when she’d said that to him, he’d just turned and given her a look, just because he would have been, didn’t mean he wanted to be, because life changed with friends, and friends changed you.

The souls that came through the office for the morning were thankfully pretty quiet, and easy to handle for her first day back with the guys, and they could skip off to lunch, which, ever since she had mentioned the pizzeria, Folio hadn’t let her forget it. Her shout, he made sure to remind her, not that any of them had to pay, but still, it was a principle of the thing. She said she would, so, that was how it went.

Once they got to the pizzeria, Nicholas joined them,

“I’d asked how you knew where we were, but then I’d come back to mind reading.”

They had all laughed at that, it had become an ongoing gag in the months she’d been in Hell, every time it had come up, they’d had a good laugh about it. It felt good to know that despite her issues, that joke wasn’t going to disappear any time soon either. She was okay with that, it was nice to know that they hadn’t treated her differently, even if she did notice they had tip-toed around some subjects. As it was, it was on the top of her tongue right now, to ask about whether the resident food thief of the group was going to show his face at any point during lunch. She didn’t though. As much as Noah was always in the back of her mind, the thought of bringing him up, asking about him, made her feel a little sick, she didn’t want to know.

So she just kept the thought to herself.

It was a cowardly move, she knew, but he also wasn’t here.

He wasn’t here, and she hadn’t gotten another message from him since Nicholas had arrived at her doorstep last night.

She knew she hadn’t, because she’d been checking her phone, compulsively.

As much as Ellie might not want to admit to that, she had been. Yes, she has said to Nick that she didn’t know if she could forgive him, but that didn’t mean her feelings for the man, the demon, had completely disappeared. As painful as they were with the massive secret, the fact that he’d lied to her for months while involved with her, and no matter how he swung it, he had lied to her. The others were her friends, Noah had been more. Ellie missed him. It hurt thinking about him, but she did miss him.

She didn’t want to see him, but she missed him.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if dying, made things easier to handle, instead of just as complicated as ever?

Seems she wasn’t that lucky, not even close.

Didn’t stop her from enjoying lunch with Jolly, Folio and Nicholas at least. Sure it was pizza, again, but it was a meal that was easy to share with friends. You could order any number of toppings on a pizza and people would pick off what they didn’t like, it worked just fine with Ellie. Despite this, they still ended up with three pies on the table between the four of them. That's what happened when one of them was a demon, and two of them were grown men, one of which was a hyperactive puppy that would take a challenge and try to eat them all under the table with a look. There was no look today.

Ellie’s weakness was garlic bread anyway, so she was good, she got some of the extra cheesy kind to share.

They spent lunch laughing and joking, talking about the last week, about the souls that had passed through, and joking about everything that Ellie had missed out on. Apparently, there had been one guy who had walked through the office in a clown costume, in a full-on clown costume, squeezing a honking horn in his hand with each step he made. That was his only means of communication. Just hearing about him truly gave Ellie the heebie-jeebies and made her glad she hadn’t been then, when Folio saw her shudder as they talked about him, he raised an eyebrow.

“What, clowns are creepy, okay, don’t look at me like that!”

“Well, this one certainly was.”

Jolly agreed, with a nod, Folio agreeing immediately  as well before Nicholas gave him a look with a glance to Ellie,

“What..”

She looked between the three of them and cringed slightly,

“What did he do, oh no, oh damn, he’s in Hell, still in his clown costume.. Do I even want to know?”

“Probably not.”

Nicholas reached over and patted her hand gently.

“You better tell me, otherwise I will think of the worst-case scenario,”

“Serial killer.”

Folio supplied succinctly,

“Kids?”

“Nope, no kids, never kids.”

“Oh, good, 'cause that was the worst case.. Good.. good..well, I mean, not good.”

Her face flushed as she babbled a little, shaking her head, she had just not wanted him to kill kids.

“You know what I mean.”

The guys chuckled at her awkwardness, but they were okay, they were all okay, and no more talk of creepy serial killer clowns please and thank you. No. No more.

It was later that night when she was in her comfy PJ’s, the long warm ones, sort of, not that they were a matching set, they were mostly just lounge pants and an old soft worn shirt of Noah’s, it was comfy, and he’d left it here one night so she’d appropriated it. She’d not worn it all week, but after today, and how much she missed him, she was, she was just weak, okay? So, while she was staring at her phone, considering texting him, but no clue what she’d even say to him… she was wearing it, her finger tapping against the side of her phone as she stared at the screen, and then she heard a knock at the door.

Sighing, she got to the door and opened it, only to be greeted by the sight of a demon lord on the other side.

“Noah.”

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

[nanaosaki3940]

Romance Manhwa You All Should Read...

So there are a few Korean manhwa that I have been reading recently. Some are new manhwa which I just picked up to read while the others are old ones that I read before and now I'm re-reading them again. All of them are of modern-setting with the premise of high school or college romance. 🥰🥰🥰

The new ones that I'm reading for the first time -

My First Love Hate

Seasons Of Blossom

Our Secret Alliance

Just Twilight

I Don't Hate Us

Cheese In The Trap

Revelation Of Youth

Operation Name: Pure Love

The Law Of Being Friends With A Male

My Introverted Boy

See You in My 19th Life

The old ones that I've read before and now re-reading them again -

Something About Us

Positively Yours

Marked By King BS

The ones that I haven't read yet but want to get into it -

Romance 101

My Younger Brother's Friends

Rewriting Our Love Story

1 Plus 1

Villain With A Crush

This Must Be Love

Now I wanna talk about some of the Manhwa series that I recently read in the last couple of days...

Our Secret Alliance

Manhwa Status: Completed Troupe: Childhood best friends turned lovers. THE NO. 1 BEST FUCKING "CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TURNED LOVERS" TROUPE MANHWA OUT THERE💘!! PERIOD😤!!!

No, seriously. I really enjoyed reading this series, and OMG !!! Female lead Se-i Yun and male lead Jaeha Kim are so fucking adorable!!! Se-i is a cutie, for sure, and seeing Jaeha as a boyfriend in this story raised my "boyfriend" expectations to an unrealistic height...

Also warning: you'll encounter a soft, bashful male lead here... so beware!!!

Seasons Of Blossom

Manhwa Status: Completed This story has four different parts: Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter. And damn, the stories are so good, y'all!!

(This is gonna be a LONG rant here btw...)

I really loved the 1st part of the series "Bomi's Flower" which is the season of Spring. The sweet female lead (Bomi Yun), one of the most popular and studious girls in school, has a little crush on the 2nd male lead (Jaemin Lee), another popular kid in school, but later finds out that her best friend/2nd female lead (Seonhui Kang) also has a crush on Jaemin. But the thing is everyone in their school ships Bomi and Jaemin together as a romantic couple. Seonhui also shows her genuine support to Bomi as a good friend if she ever tries to get together with Jaemin, but Bomi knows that deep down inside her heart Seonhui is hurting by the fact that Jaemin likes Bomi and everyone ships them, meaning her love towards Jaemin is unrequited. So to save her friendship with Seonhui and also to save Seonhui from a potential heartbreak, Bomi gets into a fake relationship with the male lead (Jinyeong Choi), so that Seonhui and Jaemin get the chance to be together... But the thing is Jinyeong is the complete opposite of Bomi. Unlike Bomi, Jinyeong is blunt, ruthless with his words, always has a straight bored look on his face, and has an "I don't give a fuck" kinda attitude. He doesn't fuck around and hates those typical high school dramas and bullshit. Even though he's a gaming otaku and only has two male friends, he's quite famous among the students; guys want to be friends with him because of his game recommendations and girls think he's really cute. Also despite the fact that he's shorter than Bomi in height, my man has balls for sure when it comes to speaking up about his mind or taking action for anything.

This story talks about how opposites attract one another, how to discover and learn new yet unexpected things, how to fall in love for the first time in life and that sweet feeling like falling in love in your youth, and how to break out of your own shell and discover a new side of yourself. This 1st part of the series will give you nothing but fluff, sweetness, and butterflies.

And then later comes the 2nd part of the series, the season of Summer aka Hamin's Flower...

Okay, this one was really tough to get through. Not because the story sucked or anything. It's because of how painful, angsty, and heartbreaking it is. In the 1st part (Bomi's Flower aka Spring), we get to know that the 2nd male lead Jaemin Lee had an older brother named Hamin Lee (the golden child of the family) who died 6 years ago by committing suicide. We don't get much info about Hamin Lee in the 1st part (other than the fact that he's Jaemin's brother) until it comes to an end and the 2nd part begins. The 2nd part opens up with Jaemin Lee and the gang bumps into a 24-year-old art college student named Somang Han who happens to be Hamin's girlfriend from high school. Through Somang's narration and flashbacks, we get to know what kind of person Hamin Lee was, how she and Hamin met and fell in love, and how he spiraled into depression which resulted in him ending his own life. And also through Jaemin, we get to know more about Hamin as a son and a brother and how their parents' rough parenting pushed him to darkness and depression. At first, when Hamin was first mentioned in the 1st part, I didn't think much about him and only felt empathy for Jaemin for losing his older brother. But after getting introduced to Hamin in the 2nd part and learning more about him through Somang and Jaemin's POV and narrations, I couldn't help but bawl my eyes out for him in every single chapter. It got even worse for me since I already knew where the story was going and what was going to happen to Hamin in the end (it was more like the Shinichiro Sano effect from Tokyo Revengers like you know who Shinichiro is and what happened to him but that doesn't stop you from falling in love with him despite him being dead throughout the whole series). RIP Hamin Lee; my heart will always go out to you, forever, always.

The 2nd part Hamin's Flower aka Summer talks about some heavy topics/subjects like - dysfunctional families, rough parenting going wrong, dealing with societal burdens and depression, losing your loved ones and dealing with the aftermath, your first tragic love story, handling regrets and dealing with your traumas, how to overcome those traumas, and finally how to let go of your past and move on with life.

Hamin's Flower left me in such a numb and gloomy state that I couldn't read the other two parts (Autumn and Winter), but I'll try to get back and read them sooner or later. Even though I haven't read the complete series yet, I'll still give out a biased statement - I really, really loved Bomi's Flower and Hamin's Flower, and these two parts will always gonna be my favs from this series (doesn't matter to me if Autumn and Winter are better than these two).

Cheese In The Trap

Manhwa Status: Completed The oldest series in this list...

This story... this story... Oh God, where should I begin?!?! I can't believe that I didn't read this until now!! This is a truly mature love story. If you read this wanting a simple light college romance, this is not for you. While there are very cute interactions between the main character and her love interests, it is a very well-thought-out and complex manga - definitely the most realistic I have read thus far. The character development is out of this world and adds a sense of tangibility to the characters that you really don't see in fiction normally. To explain, the important main and side characters in any story are always bound by rules of development to identify them as cogs in a narrative; we have underlying expectations about what the characters might do, or how they might subvert those expectations. But, this webtoon is the study of social relationships and the nature of people. You get to see that there will always be some sort of social hierarchy, that there are meanings and repercussions beyond what you expect to happen in life, and that we all have some degree of victim and perpetrator in us. We all cope and process in different ways, while also continuing and evolving in life the way we know how. Unlike anything I have ever read before.

Also, this story is under the tag of "Psychological Drama" and it's all because of the male lead named Jung Yu. God, I've such a love-hate relationship with him, y'all!! Like I love him but also hate him at the same time. He's mysterious, charming, alluring yet so damn confusing. Also, the fact that he's a sociopath with a bit of a Yandere-ish tendency in him and that he's also obsessed with the female lead (Seol Hong) in a very twisted way??? He's a walking red flag for sure, but then again not... In short, Jung Yu is a complex character and my simple brain just can't comprehend him. I also love the female lead (Seol Hong), the 2nd male lead (Inho Baek), and Seol's two best friends (Bora Jang and Euntaek Kwon). The only important side character I despise is Inho's twin sister Inha Baek (don't ask why; just go and read it for yourself and you'll know why... also I hate those bully characters too btw, just so you know...).

I Don't Hate Us

Manhwa Status: Completed Troupe: Childhood best friends turned lovers.

Another series with "childhood best friends turned lovers" troupe done right!!

The female lead (Wonsu Ha) and the male lead (Jaesu Sang) have been childhood best friends since their middle school days. They had been best friends through high school and college until one day Wonsu got herself a boyfriend. Jaesu has romantic feelings for Wonsu, but she only sees him as a friend and has platonic love for him. Wonsu then breaks up with her boyfriend, not because the guy is a cheater but because they aren't that compatible with each other, so they mutually break up and separate. Wonsu also gets separated from Jaesu because his romantic feelings for her were getting in the way of their friendship at the time, and also her relationship with her ex-boyfriend took a toll on her mentally and emotionally, so she cut off all her connection and simply focused on her studies and graduating from university. Years later, now working in a small yet growing company, Wonsu reconnects with an adult and more mature Jaesu, who now works in a multinational corporation, and that's when sparks and butterflies start to fly left, right, and center. Almost all the characters are likable, the story and the plot are realistic, and overall it was an enjoyable read for me truly.

Also warning: you'll encounter a soft, bashful male lead here... so beware!!! I mean, the fact that despite the bad boy looks and everything, he's so cute like a puppy is fucking adorable, yo!!!

My First Love Hate

Manhwa Status: On-going Troupe: Childhood best friends turned lovers

This one came out this year and so far I'm really enjoying it. Just like the previously mentioned series above, the female lead (Eunha Kang) is relatable, funny, smart, studious, strong-willed, and whatnot. The male lead (Seungmin Ha) is Eunha's childhood best friend since elementary school but they stopped hanging out with one another ever since he became a delinquent back in high school despite the fact that they went to the same school and were in the same classroom. Years later, Eunha got into a prestigious university in Seoul and later learned that Seungmin was also at that university!! Not only that, he also stopped being a delinquent for good and suddenly started dressing up like a nerdy college boy. When Eunha asked what he was trying to do, Seungmin simply replied that he was returning back to his old self again and wanted to reconnect with Eunha... But things got a bit spicy all of a sudden when a tattoo-bodied 2nd male lead named Ryu Seonhoo walked into the scene and Eunha had to tutor him for the GED test on a regular basis...

Also warning: you'll encounter a soft, bashful, puppy-like male lead AND 2nd male lead here... so beware!!!

Just Twilight

Mahwa Status: Ongoing Troupe: Strangers to friends to lovers

I won't say anything about it... JUST FUCKING READ THIS SHIT ALREADY!!!

If you're a fan of another famous manhwa series called "Positively Yours", then you'll also love this series since it's written by the same author. The female lead (Junyoung Yun) is literally my spirit animal and the male lead (Beomjin Kwon) is such a husbando material, y'all... like, just look at him!!!

That's all for now... I'll make more Korean manhwa recommendation posts again very soon!!!

My manhwa recommendation list posts - Link 1, Link 2, and Link 3.

[vampstel]

Okay, I’m just gonna rip the bandage off. Here’s a long post I wrote a while ago after seeing a comic about someone’s experiences with asexuality.

This is a vent/rant so beware!! Warning for suggestive stuff since you know, this is sexuality talk :P

I’ve been openly asexual for a pretty long time now. It’s not something I talk about very often; I tend to just say it in passing and move on since I get this indescribable “ick” feeling due to the acephobia I’ve received in the past (and because I’ve been sexualized against my own will in the past as well).

I’m trying my best to get rid of that “ick” feeling but after recent events, I feel like I’ve gone back to square one. AKA: I feel humiliated about my sexuality and think it’s invalid.

I’m aceflux, meaning my asexuality can fluctuate but not by much. I may be demiromantic as well but I’m still unsure of that.

Personally, I usually feel very apathetic when it comes to sensual things. Sometimes, that apathy can turn into repulsion; Very extreme repulsion that can make me nauseous. Overall, I just don’t feel sexual attraction and when I do, it’s very minor and at some points… I wouldn’t even consider it sexual attraction? Hell, I don’t even understand what sexual attraction is and why/what people generally find sexually gratifying. Sexual shit flies over my head all the time unless it’s 100% obvious in my eyes.

But anyway… I’m a very aesthetic heavy guy, you could say. It’s really hard to describe it but when I see people, specifically men, I feel attracted to them in a tertiary sense. I like the concept of affection. The thought of being in a close relationship makes me happy. I find men pleasing to the eye and just have a connection with them that can’t be explained. It’s not exactly romantic, nor is it exactly sexual or even platonic. It’s like a secret 4th thing, basically.

That’s all fine and dandy. I’ve accepted that part of my sexuality but what I’ve been very miffed about is openly and unabashedly expressing my attraction (or whatever it is) with men in my art. Which hasn’t happened in years. I’ve been proud of being gay but recently I just feel… Unsafe?

As you know, I draw men a lot. Usually gender nonconforming men, femboys, and muscular men. I sometimes draw art that can be suggestive due to the clothes being revealing, but I do not get sexual gratification from it and it distresses me immensely when people say I do. Hence why I freaked the fuck out about the uh… incident on Twitter that shall not be named.

I know I said I’m fine. That I’ve moved past the whole “people thinking I’m addicted to porn” thing and I have. I think?— After all, it doesn’t make me upset anymore remembering it. However, I won’t deny that the situation has reopened some wounds that’ll take a long time to heal again which sucks.

I’m the problem here, not any other external source. At least right now 💀

I just keep feeling invalid about who I am. Sometimes, I find myself drawing art I like (and think is tame) and suddenly think “…Maybe this is too much. This is fetishizing.” or “I should probably scrape this completely. It might be sexual since I drew a beefy guy in a dress.”

And since I’m blind to sexual and even suggestive things, I get confused and upset. What am I allowed to depict in my art that makes people understand I’m not a faker or have a ‘broken sexuality’? How do I become the “ideal depiction of an asexual guy” that’ll appease myself and the internet? Do I show my character’s skin? Do I hide their assets and make them less curvy or muscular?

And what labels or jokes am I allowed to say that won’t have me or anyone else thinking “Oh yeah this guy’s a fucking freak and should be deplatformed”?

I don’t care what people think of me, usually. I don’t care if people hate me. But nowadays I feel unsafe even in the safe spaces I’ve made for myself and that’s what hurts.

I know and accept that there will always be people who think I’m a freak. There will always be people who think I’m not actually asexual and I’m just saying that to get away with making mildly suggestive content. But the issue is, I’m starting to think I’m a freak by proxy and since I’m repulsed about anything sexual, I’m becoming repulsed about myself and my work.

It’s taken years for me to get comfortable with my unordinary attraction to men. It’s taken even longer for me to get used to the basic parts of the human body and showing off skin IRL and in art without feeling nauseous. And now it feels like I’m trying to get all that progress back again. Just because my dumb brain thinks I’m “broken” after being harassed online a month or so ago.

I could write so much more but this is so long already. I think I may as well just make this topic a special rant video for Pride month. I’m not sure though.

I don’t know how to end this post, especially on a positive note, but just know that I’m trying real hard to get back to being unabashedly me.

I’m probably going to exercise using the labels I use more often to get more accustomed to them without anyone (myself included) thinking “he’s a weirdo!!”. I’m also just gonna up the gender nonconformity themes in my art as well. Shit’s been rough but I’m still hanging and coping with the help of my OCs :3

If you’re asexual, or just struggling with accepting yourself in general. Just know you’re valid. You’re cool. I know that’s a stereotypical thing to say but I mean it. Don’t let your stupid head think you’re a freak. Don’t be like me, is what I’m saying LOL

It’s bad and unhealthy. It’s easier said than done but so long as you slowly build up self acceptance, you’re doing great. And you shouldn’t let people tear you down.

[digitaldoeslmk]

recollections of red and blue, or simple truths go oft-forgotten

it's been some time since MK's fateful encounter which changed everything, but Pigsy still won't forgive Wukong for what happened. Red Son is rather tired of this endless distrust and blame, and decides to remind the pigman of the kind of creature Wukong is. and maybe as important, the kind of creature that he used to be.

drabble where Hai'er sits down with Tang and Pigsy for a talk. beware the tags before proceeding. word count: 5.5k - AO3 mirror

"Alright, here we are. What did you want to talk about?"

The pig demon walked over to the other side of the bar with the familiarity of decades doing this. The few times Hai'er had been in the noodle shop, he could sense the love and dedication poured into every scratched bowl, worn balcony and faded tile. This place was the cook's whole life and soul, and he couldn't help but fix his jiasha a bit in respect before sitting down on a stool. It creaked a bit as it spun, and the pig man placed a cup of green tea in front of him. Probably from one of the thermos at one corner of the bar, no doubt, but Hong Hai'er sipped on it.

He had asked for a moment to speak with the old demon, given the past few interactions he saw between him and Wukong. While it was very amusing to see the pig try to get a rise out of a bodhisattva of all beings, it was also very distressing for everyone else involved, and this couldn't continue.

"You're a very stubborn pig." He said, dry and direct as usual. The human from the other corner of the bar choked a cackle into his fist, and Hai'er raised an eyebrow at him.

"Thanks, I work hard on it." Pigsy retorted just as dryly, but Hai'er had other immediate concerns.

"Are you sure he must stay?" Hai'er asked, nodding his head at the human.

"Oh good luck getting him to leave that spot, I've been trying for the past two decades and so far no luck." Pigsy replied, which earned a wide, stupidly cheeky grin from Mr. Tang.

"I see. You've out-stubborned him, that's an achievement." Hai'er said, directed at the human now, who preened at the not-at-all-a-praise.

"I prefer to think of it as perseverance, actually." He said, his grin gleaming in an insufferable way, and Hai'er rolled his eyes.

"I bet you do." He deadpanned. "But no, that one is just stubborn. Do you really insist on refusing to believe my uncle?" He asked, turning to the pig who was neating up the kitchen idly.

"Look kid, -"

"I'm older than you." Hai'er corrected, and the pig snorted, the interruption earning his anger and he rounded up on Hai'er, leaning on the counter.

"Whatever, kid! I don't believe him, and I never will. He can butter up the rest of these chumps, especially this one!"

"Hey!!" Tang whined, mouth half full of a half-empty bowl of noodles.

"But he can't fool me." Pigsy continued, "I know how important Sun Wukong is to the kid, but someone has to make sure MK doesn't fall on his face again cus he's too damn nice for his own good or safety, and if that  someone has to be me, then so be it!"

The demon finished in a snarl that was all tusks and fatherly care. Hai'er didn't react, not at first, but he sipped on his tea again as he considered how to begin. Pigsy gathered himself in the meantime, swiping a hand forcefully on his apron with a harumph.

"Mr. Tang?" Hai'er asks, and the scholar blinks. He didn't seem to expect to be included on the conversation again, but he hums in acknowledgment. "MK says you know the Journey to the West from head to toe, yes?"

The actual praise, even if paraphrased from the delivery boy, has the scholar preen again, pushing at his glasses.

"Oh, I do indeed! In fact, I'm in the process of my own independent translation, with quite a few new footnotes that--"

"Then you know the story of how I got these scars, right?"

Hai'er's interruption grinds Mr. Tang's whole rant to a halt, eyes wide as saucers as he seems to catch up to where Hai'er is going. His eyes flick towards said scars dotting his arm and neck, and those are just the ones in plain view.

"I... Yes, I suppose I do." He agrees, shrinking into his scarf like he would like to not have out-persisted Pigsy about his eternal bar spot after all.

"Of course you do. Tell it." Hai'er says, in that quiet yet stern tone that leaves the order implied but very much not up for discussion. Tang sinks even more into himself, and the rakshasa can feel Pigsy glare at him. Mr. Tang clears his throat, uncomfortable.

"Umm... You uh, Wukong and Guanyin both tricked you into... sitting on a fake lotus throne, but it was... made of swords." He says, meek as a turtle holed up in its shell. Hai'er frowns into his teacup; that wouldn't do.

"Oh come on, tell it right. I've seen it, you're a storyteller, born and true. You thrive in it, live for it." Hai'er says, pinning the man down with his brightening eyes, black coals ready to spark alive with indigo fire at any moment. "So tell the story as you should."

The moment of silence is heavy and tense, only the sound of the electric static of the lightbulbs about them to break it. Tang swallows and accepts his fate in the center stage, bracing himself before he begins.

---

"There you are, you wretched primate!! Come to face your demise at last?!" The brazen demon calls from his throne of basalt. His grin is fangs and rebellion, blazing eyes like a volcano's heart. His armor gleams under the glow of his bonfire hair, licking tall and proud into the air. Hong Hai'er calls to the figure in the sky blocking the late morning sun, a sad sight on his pearly cloud.

"Wouldn't count on it, nephew." Sun Wukong replies from on high, barely managing the cocky grin under the angry burns and scorch marks he still bears from last they met in battle. Hong Hai'er roars in rage, flames whipping out of his mouth.

"I've told you already, you're no uncle of mine! I, Red Son, would never call family someone who bows down to his foes like a whimpering fawn!" He bellows, the pines and firs bending at the heatwaves of his rage. Wukong doesn't deign him with a reply, and Hong Hai'er summons his flaming spear to his side.

"Allow me to put you out of your misery!!" He calls and shoots himself into the air, aiming his spear right at the monkey's chest. The sage parried it with his staff, and they sink into glorious battle once again.

The hellion demon is no match for the monkey, but he makes up for his lacking martial skills with his hunger for victory. A tiger smelling the trail of blood of a wounded prey, and stalking forward to a meal in the waiting.

The sage dodges an attack and jumps out of range. Again and again, always out of range!

"Fiendish freak, what are you doing!" Hong Hai'er screeches, frustrated.

"Well can't say I look forward to you using your fire on me again." Wukong replies, and Hong Hai'er snarls.

"You keep up with this and I just might out of spite! You come here to challenge me again, and you can't even do it right, what kind of man are you!"

Wukong cackles, choking on a sore throat in the process.

"More than you, that's for sure, nephew."

His flaming spear tears into the morning sky like a butcher's knife, "What did I tell you, you disgusting simian?!" The monkey dodges the strike easily and sails his cloud into the southern horizon. "You...! Hey, come back and die with some honor!"

Hong Hai'er chases after the fleeing monkey in a scorching blaze, careless of just how far or how fast they are going. It doesn't matter, nothing matters, except getting rid of this pesky beast. To end Wukong is to end this pathetic journey of his and to earn himself his prize. A plentiful feast and immortality!

A halo of auspicious light appears on the horizon, but the fire demon doesn't slow down, hot on the tail of the wretched fiend. A little more, a little closer... Wait, what?!

Wukong is gone, vanished into thin air and hallowed light. No. No! His victory, his prize!! The fire roaring in his belly eats at his sense, consuming his mind as well as his innards as he screams into the empty air.

"FIGHT ME, COWARD!!"

His wrath melts into the cold air and casts circles of waves in the water below him. Wait, water? This is... not a lake, but an ocean. Water as far as the eye can see. Red Son blinks, flames and sparks slithering from the corner of his eyes. How far did he fly?

A sound not unlike a wooden bell rings, and he turns to see the light in the distance dim and coalesce into a shape. A figure in draping silks, veil around black hair, and sacred jewelry that seemed to glow of its own volition. He knew this person, he noticed, and his grin turned almost feral.

"Ah, Guanshiyin. What luck!" He greets brazenly, dripping with ego and bloodthirst. "Tell me where that sad excuse for a sage has scurried off to immediately, and I might just spare you!" He orders, pointing his spear at the bodhisattva, who remains still and unbothered upon the floating lotus.

"Hey! I'm fucking talking to you!!" He roars, all-consuming flames roaring from his hair and eyes and fangs. "I said, where's Wukong?! Answer me!" Again, nothing. The nerve to ignore him, how dare!! With a bellow, he slashes at the enlightened figure. The streak of vicious fire licks at the water's surface and missing completely its target, since the lotus is now empty, as if there was never anyone upon it to begin with.

"Where did you-- Would you vermin cease vanishing and FACE ME!!" Hong Hai'er shrieks, the Samadhi fire eating at his bones and simmering at his skin. His ragged breathing is like blowing into a furnace, clouds of smoke and inflamed qi venting from his gaping mouth.

"Heh. You flee from me so swiftly, could it be the great Avalokiteśvara can't face my fire?" He asks the empty air, voice twisted and crackling from the heat within. "Hehe, hehahaha, AHAHAHA!! Very well then!!" He gloats, landing on the golden lotus. His feet fizzle against the cool seed pod, and he stabs his spear into it with a victorious growl.

"If you won't face me, then I, Red Son, Bull King of the Flaming Mountains, will take over your fancy old lotus throne! HAHAHAHA!!" He says, sitting down on the lotus and adjusting himself to lounge cockily on the feathery soft petals. He might have missed the monkey and the thousand-armed one, but this was satisfaction enough. Or so he thought, not knowing that both Wukong and Guanyin stood right by him, invisible to his un-enlightened eyes. Wukong winces in quiet rage at his disrespectful boasting, but Guanyin simply plucks the sacred branch of willow.

"Foolish rakshasa. Bear now the consequences of your crimes." Red Son startles at the sudden voice, looking about him for the source, but before he can even sit up, the willow beyond his sight waves in the air and the lotus throne vanishes. In its stead, rest the thirty-six celestial swords of Devaraja Li. Sharper than any wind, sharper than sunlight in summer, they all pierced right through his resting body in the span of half a heartbeat.

---

As Tang finished the story, the silence returned. Both men regarded the fire demon carefully, who didn't miss how their eyes flicked to the scars all over him pensively. Hai'er sipped on his tea one last time, the cup now empty.

"That's right. It hurt like nothing I've ever felt before or since. Even so, I tried to remove them, but the bodhisattva simply turned them into hooks so that I couldn't. All I could do was beg for it to stop." He said, knowing that those two needed some sort of reaction. He had none to offer truth be told, it had all been so long ago after all, and whatever he had to say was not for their ears.

Tang fussed with his sleeves, clearly unsure of himself and what to say, while Pigsy simply stood at the kitchen, folding and unfolding a wiping cloth.

"I... I'm so sorry." Mr. Tang said finally, and Hai'er chuckled.

"What for?" He asked, amused at the response he got. "I deserved it."

"No you didn't! Nobody deserves that." Tang said, and oh the sweet guy, he believed it too. Hai'er could just smile with fondness at the sentiment, even if it was misguided. He always forgot that mortals tended to get the wrong message from those stories; no wonder so few have ascended or devoted themselves to cultivation of late. Too many new-fangled morals.

He needed to remind them who exactly he used to be.

"Tang Laoshi, have you ever smelled burning hair?" He asks, and he feels the glare Pigsy throw his way.

"I thought you wanted to talk to me, not Tang." The cook grumbled, but Hai'er ignored him much to the scholar's dismay.

"Please answer the question." He said, and Tang looked between the two of them for a moment before nodding.

"Well, yes. Once, it was this little mishap you see! Me and Pigsy were still young, he had only just started the shop and I was--"

"Turn that smell up by a hundred, and you'll know what the smell was like when Wukong got hit by my Samadhi Fire." He interrupts the man's story again, earning him a flurry of baffled blinks from the human. "A patchy half-charred monkey is actually a pretty funny sight."

Neither of the men shared in his humor, instead looking rather uncomfortable by the sudden somber turn of topic.

"Uh, Shancai Zhuren? Is.... what is this?" Tang asks, looking sincerely spooked and lost in what's happening. Pigsy looks just as lost, but his fear manifests in a tense back and a wide stance. Someone with some fighting experience, at least.

"I was a villain, Tang." Hai'er began, his calm and matter-of-fact tone only seeming to spook the human more. And he's hardly begun. "I burned goats and pigs to watch them suffer and the people lament their lost livestock. I extorted minor gods out of their offerings, because them losing their divinity was funny. I hunted travelers on the road for sport, to eat them at the full moon family dinners." He said, having crossed his arms to lean on the counter, a single finger tracing the edge of his chipped empty cup. He threw a glare at Tang who looked pale as a ghost. "I enjoyed it." He said, slow and deliberate, and Tang flinched. "I tortured my uncle, and I was ready to kill him. I wanted to more than anything. If Wukong hadn't gone to get Guanyin's help, I would have done it too. I was going to take his skin as a gift for my mother, as a coat. I'd have steamed the pig and seared the fish, and I'd have eaten the revered monk with my parents with sour sauce and a glass of rice wine. And I'd not have regretted a single thing."

Tang looked about ready to bolt right out of the service entrance just so he didn't have to get past Hai'er for the door, and Pigsy's tusks poked out of his twisted grimace.

"I did deserve it, every single blade of it." Hai'er said and saw the pig man lean from the corner of his eyes.

"What is this, free moping hours?! Oh, no pal, that ain't on the menu. You had better get to the point, or get out of my shop!" Pigsy burst out, jabbing a finger at the door. Hai'er l lifted a hand to placate the demon.

"I have a point. Well, two actually, but first of. You must have known all this. Doesn't take much to know that you have been overhearing Mr. Tang and MK tell these stories over and over."

"What's it to ya?" Pigsy snapped.

"And yet you trust me. I've only ever been a villain in those stories, and a dangerous one at that, yet I get more goodwill than my Uncle. You blame him for what happened to MK, but I couldn't stop it from happening either. What makes me special?"

"You're not making a great case for yourself, pal." Pigsy warned, but Hai'er waved off his threat.

"Humor me."

Pigsy regarded him for a long moment. With a sigh, the tension from his shoulders abated if only a bit.

"You helped MK. You called us, and you drove him here. That's, something. Certainly more than that immortal furball ever did."

"My uncle was in the Celestial Realm. Time dilation sucks." Hai'er retorted in a deadpan, and he could tell the pig demon was just barely holding back from throwing a spoon at his head.

"So what! He's enlightened or whatever, he should have known! He should have stopped it!" Pigsy said, poking at the counter so hard his large nails left dents on it. Huh, just like the floor of his home with his father's hooves. "If he really cared so much, he would have done something!!"

Red Son rolled his eyes at the response but sighed.

"Alright then. Humor me a bit longer so I get to my next point."

"Make it snappy, would ya?"

"As you wish." He said, and almost as a gesture of peace, the pig plucked the cup from his hand and filled it again.

"Even though that was the worst paint I've ever known, when the blades were gone all I could think about was vengeance." He picked up the story again, and sure enough, Mr. Tang piped in.

"Yes, you struck at Guanyin with your spear." The scholar said, and he nodded.

"I did. Because I knew that if I did, Uncle wouldn't hold back. I knew that if I struck at her, he'd defend her at all costs."

If the story from before had made the atmosphere tense, he was sure that the cook could cut it with one of his knives and use it for cartilage soup. The silence stretched and he could smell the moment the realization set in.

"You... You wanted..." Tang's voice wavered like a plucked string, and Hai'er took pity on the man and said it himself.

"I wanted him to kill me. I refused to be defeated and tamed by them, even if I had to die for it. Rebirth was preferable to captivity." He said, with the ease of someone who had grappled with that aspect of himself for centuries and made peace with it. Or someone reporting on the weather for the day, whichever worked. "And I would have too, but instead I got these."

The golden fillets at his wrist glinted under the fluorescent lights. Polished to a pristine mirror shine, unscratched and undented despite the wear and tear of centuries. Heavenly metal, not made to be tarnished my mortal means. His own gaze met him from the warped reflection on them, a familiar sight to him now.

"Master Guanyin saw this unrepentant, irredeemable creature writhing in rage, and she was going to drag it kicking and screaming into a second chance I did absolutely nothing to deserve." He said in a soft reverent tone, a hand cradling one of the circlets and feeling it warm under the touch.

The pigman snorted, unimpressed. "Is this where you tell me he's going to do that to me, eh?"

"I'm not done. The books don't tell this part of the story, so listen up.

"The first time I saw him again, I was gathering bamboo shoots for dinner. It oddly was the one thing Master let me do away from the groves, even though I had tried to poison her and the other disciples every time I got dinner duty. He showed up in my path, and he fell into a kowtow and begged for forgiveness for what happened. He said that I had left him no choice, but I could always call on him whenever I needed. That he would never shirk his duties to me as family." Hai'er told and huffed a little laugh. "I told him to get lost."

That at least got some amusement from the pig, though the scholar watched him with wide eyes, ever interested in a new tale for his collection.

"The second time we met, he did the same thing. Going on about how sorry he was, how he'd never surrender his duties to me or my family,  that he... still cared for us in the only way he could. I was so angry still, so upset over my fate, and seeing him pleading for forgiveness made me so irate. So I kicked him."

Tang sputtered at that, "You did??"

"I did."

"How did he take that?"

"He didn't budge, but I broke my big toe on his forehead."

Tang suddenly spits out a mouthful of broth, caught between a cackle, a cough, and a lot of choking. Hai'er considers patting his back, but the man seems to gather himself more or less while the pig man complains up and down about the gross mess he made of his bar.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to laugh, I--"

"It's quite alright, it's very funny." Hai'er grants, waving away the man's apologies. It had hurt like a bitch back then, but it was his ego that was more hurt than his toe. He gives the scholar and chef some time to clean up a bit the kitchen and their pride before continuing.

"I cursed him out so much for it, too. I told him I hated him and I'd hate him forever, because he didn't even let me say goodbye to my parents, that I was trapped in those miserable groves and didn't know if I'd ever see them again." There's a knot in his throat at the memory of those uncertain years, but he pushed them aside. "I promised him that if he hurt my parents, I'd tear off my own hands and feet and head to get rid of those fillets, and I'd haunt him to the ends of the world.

"All he said in reply was that it was okay. I could hate him as much as I needed to or wanted to, it didn't matter, but he would always embrace me as his nephew no matter what. I told him to get out of my sight and never show his face in front of me again."

He could feel Mr. Tang's eyes on him, ever kind and pitying and infuriating, but Pigsy just huffed unamused but not unkind. To Hai'er, that was an improvement.

"And? What about the third time?" He asks, and Hai'er chuckles.

"Rushing the story, are we."

"Yeaaaah, he does that all the time, don't mind him." Tang comments, waving a hand dismissively much to the pig's disapproval.

"Well you're clearly on talking terms with the guy, so there must be a third time where that changed. So spill it."

Hai'er smirked at that, amused. The pig was the direct cut and dry type, which he could appreciate.

"The third time was much later on. I had grown a lot already by then, was much calmer and collected. I was past being resigned and just trying to live in this new normal I found myself in. I was making the best of it I suppose. Maybe even started to enjoy it.

"He showed up because he had crossed paths with my parents, which led to quite a conflict. In the end, Nezha had taken my father to the Jade Emperor for judgment. When I heard the news I was so sure my father was dead, executed long before I even heard of his arrest. I... I cracked.

"I was wailing on the ground and tearing at my hair, but then Wukong grew ten times his size and held me. He let me cry, and reassured me that it wasn't what I was thinking. My father was still alive, but serving penance. He had pleaded to Nezha and before the Jade Emperor himself to spare his life. I asked him why, and he looked at me with such open kindness and warmth. He even laughed a bit when he told me that as long as he breathed, he would not have me separate from my parents. He wouldn't break up our family like that. I didn't understand why he still cared for us so much, not when he was supposed to be detached from worldly ties and not when we had caused him so much trouble already. I tried to kill him, I wanted to, and yet he still cared enough to spare my parents. I didn't understand him at all, but it didn't matter, because I knew then that he meant every word of it.

"After I stopped crying, I asked him once he was finished with his Journey, if I should call him Great Sage or Enlightened One, and he said that just Uncle would suffice if I chose to. He's been Uncle Wukong to me ever since."

The ending to his story hung in the air, along with the lingering scent of stew spices and the buzzing of the electric lights. Mr. Tang looked ready to say something, probably of the awkward yet ever kind variety, but the chef beat him to it.

"And the point is?!"

"Pigsy!"

"The point, Zhu Dachu," Hai'er interrupted, "is that you can scream and blame and rage and whine and winge and kick and throw whatever you want at the walls. None of that will change the fact that my uncle cares for MK. And I mean truly, genuinely cares and worries for him, whether you believe him or not. Even if MK for some absurd reason decides to turn his back on him, shun and curse him from the twelfth heaven to the eight hell, Wukong will still, to the Universe's dying breath, care for him."

His gaze bore down on the pig, as if he could someone stare his words into the man's thick skull.

"That's my point. I hope you'll at least consider my words, though what you do with them is entirely up to you." He finished, leaning back in his seat and it creaked with the movement. For what it was worth, Pigsy gave nothing away, but something in the air had shifted somehow, whether for better or worse was too soon to tell. Regardless, he simply cradled his empty cup, now gone lukewarm from his hands.

Their staring contest, or at least heated sparring, was interrupted by Mr. Tang's not-so-subtle thorat clearing.

"That's very kind of you to share this with us, and we'll definitely take it heart, Shancai Zhuren." Mr. Tang said, ignoring Pigsy's grunt of offense on the "we" he tacked on his words.

"I think at this point, we can go with just Shancai, yes?" Hai'er offered with a small smile, not seeing the need for formalities with these two. Not when he's shared such a personal story of his with them.

"Oh! Yes, Shancai, thank you." Tang thanked, looking genuinely flattered and more than a bit close to squeeing for joy. Hai'er rolled his eyes in exasperated fondness.

"Now I gotta ask. Why is it Shancai for us, but MK gets to call you Hai'er?" Pigsy asked, seemingly done stewing on his story. Hai'er shrugged.

"That's just how it is." He deadpanned. No need to tell the man about how his son's glazed eyes lit with recognition once he was able to put a name to the stranger with him, how somehow ranting about the novel's chapter in a parched throat helped him ground himself to some semblance of normal after the horror he was put through.

Shancai wouldn't have done anything for Xiaotian then, but Hai'er did, and he didn't feel like breaking that connection. Not when somehow, Hai'er was someone Xiaotian trusted, and even liked having around. That's just how it is.

"Well, it is late and I think I've taken up enough of both your time. I shall leave you both to it." Hai'er said, sliding off his seat and giving them a bow. When Tang made to follow him to the door, he waved him away. "No need, I know where the exit is. And wouldn't want you relinquishing your hard-earned seat on my account."

Mr. Tang gave him a good-natured laugh at that, and he counted that was a good note to end on.

"Goodnight, sirs. Enjoy the rest of your evening."

Pigsy gave him a short nod and Tang waved him goodbye, and with that, he was out of the shop and back into the cool city night air. Not as cool as the deserts, that's for sure, and for a moment he kind of wished it was. Brisk and bracing, enough to make his skin climb into goosebumps.

He did his part. Whether it would go anywhere or not, was out of his hands. But his ears could catch the two men's hushed tones past the walls, though he didn't bother trying to pick their exact words. He had a feeling he's left them with plenty to discuss in the coming days, and he was glad to be left excluded from the specifics.

Taking a deep breath, he returned to his car. He couldn't wait to be out in the desert, with the cool dry breeze to wash him clean from the day's affairs. No more broth spices, city smog, engine grease, bamboo sawdust, lotus incense smoke, or stardust metal and sticky copper and bile.

Just the sunbaked breeze of the sands and his thoughts.

At every stop sign, his gaze lingered down to his arms. Bandaged and glamoured, bound by celestial metal, scarred down to his bones. He was long past caring, vanity was a far away thing to him now after, but sometimes looking back at those memories stirred something in him.

Not regret, or bitterness or shame. He had faced those foes long ago and emerged victorious, with no small amount of effort. Not even nostalgia either, he couldn't miss those troubled days if he tried, not with the wisdom he now wielded.

Instead, he missed that feeling of realization. Held in his uncle's massive arms, almost drowning in his own tears, and realizing that he wasn't alone. He never was. He always had his uncle, even when he believed as sure as the sky was blue and the earth was solid, that he had no one.

He missed his family. How could he not? He missed the simple filial love of his childhood when he could reach out to his mother and be held in her arms, or jump on his father's lap and be brought to sit on his shoulders. It was easy as breathing then, for all of them, but those days were long past.

As clockwork, that little voice in his head muttered at him, peaceful and solemn as his Master's voice at lectures.

Let go.

He should listen. It was about time he did, it's been centuries and it's brought him nothing but suffering, and if he just let go then it would go away. He could finally fully commit to his Master's teachings, take the vows, and maybe join his uncle in enlightenment.

Instead, he pressed a few keys on his on-board phone, letting the call come through.

"Zhizi? What's up?"

He couldn't believe he was so damn weak.

"Shushu, do you want to have some tea at my place?" He asks, and there's an amused chittering laughter from the other side.

"It's been a while! I thought you'd never ask." Wukong replied, and Hai'er had to sigh.

"Me too." He agreed, his tone quieter than he had hoped it.

There was a quiet pause that he knew meant his uncle was staring at him across the line, and he took some comfort that he wasn't actually present.

"Meet you there, then. You better not skimp on me like last time, I know you hoard pu'er like a magpie." He teased, and cut the call before Hai'er could even reply.

Ah well, so much for detachment of worldly things. He had time. Yeah, he had time to do better and to finally let go of these illusions. Until then, he had his uncle and he could always call him for tea when the longing was like blades on his ribs. Until then, that was enough.

---

vocabulary

jiasha: mandarin, borrowed term from the sanskrit "kasaya". Piece of patchwork cloth worn by Buddhsit monks over one shoulder, once used to distinguish monastic schools of geographic origins.

wooden fish: a kind of bell used in Chen Buddhism to mark the pace of reciting sutras and prayers, often depicted in the shape of a fish.

Hong Hai'er: "Red Son/Boy".

Guanshiyin: full mandarin name of the bodhisattva Guanyin.

Avalokiteśvara: sanskrit name of Guanyin.

Devaraja Li: also known as Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King Li, chinese analog of Vaisravana. Father of Jinzha, Muzha and Nezha.

Tang Laoshi: "teacher Tang", respectful title for anyone who teaches.

Shancai Zhuren: "director Shancai", respectful title for someone in a high management position.

Zhu Dachu: "chef Zhu", mandarin dub name for Pigsy, also serving as a title.

Zhizi: nephew by the male line.

Shushu: uncle, father's younger brother.

[miss-nandini]

Disclaimer: This fiction is only for fun purposes. Graphics and characters belong to their respective owners.

A/N: My second fanfiction here. Like, Share and Comment. Also, you can request any genre except NSFW.

Title: Love & Abyss

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a happy ending.

Now, let's jump in.

It was a normal evening. Well, as normal as it can get in the Devildom. All the brothers except Lucifer were gathered around you in the living room, listening to you ranting about your high-school days. It was quite funny how they were paying attention to you like a bunch of kids. However, the fun was put to an end when Lucifer stumbled in the room.

His face was pale and blood was dripping from the corners of his mouth. Before anyone can figure out a thing he collapsed on the floor. For a moment, deafening silence filled the room.

When the shock subsided a bit, all of you ran to him.

"Lucifer?!"

Mammon was shaking.

Satan ended up calling Diavolo and the others while you tried to check his pulse. Nothing. Heartbeat? you barely heard it. He wasn't breathing properly at all!! The brothers were so damn scared and so were you...

Minutes later, you, the brothers, Diavolo, Barbatos, the angels and Solomon gathered in Lucifer's bedroom. When the others were panicking, Beel carried him there.

"Time flows like a river. He is cruel. You chased after him, but he never looked back."

Two weeks passed like a breeze. Lucifer didn't show any sign of waking up. No doctor in Devildom knew about the cure. They only said it's a poisoned potion named 'Elixir of Abyss.' It puts a person in a deep slumber full of merciless nightmares. If not treated in time, then you lose the person forever.

Mammon was devastated. The smile that used to lit up his face was gone. Levi and Belphie practically disappeared. They stayed scooped up in their room. Beel lost his appetite and Asmo... you can't look at him without feeling dejected.

Without Lucifer, all of you realized that... Life is seriously strange. Humans do not have the ability to understand its beauty. In this world, living beings are insignificant. Only the devine nature knows when to keep and to let go. When a person's last breath is extinguished like the last particle of dust... People slowly forget and the memories disappear. But the one who is the mother of everyone never forgets. Mother nature stays as a witness to his happiness and sorrows. You keep expecting the unexpected. The last specks of hope fade away like the afternoon light, but you still don't let go.

When the others were drowning in their own sorrows, you and Satan turned the library upside down for research purposes. You did find something about the Elixir.

"It says an ancient human magical couple made this. Rumors say they live in Nevada. However, one with only true, selfless wishes can find them. I'm sure they have the cure." Satan reached his conclusion.

So, the next day, with the help of Lord Diavolo, both of you ended up in Nevada and then? You searched like crazy for 4 days and still nothing. Both of you were disappointed with the result. Should you really let go now...?

Fortunately, luck was on your side for once. When you were ready to leave, a man and a lady appeared out of thin air. You and Satan were stunned. They were wearing cloaks and wizard hats. Also, each of them had a name tag.

"Anurag and Anarka..." You read them out.

The couple smiled merrily.

"Listen, children, your wishes reached us. Now, listen very carefully. The cure is actually a very honest gesture of love. The devine gift that heals countless hearts can be sealed with one gesture. However, beware. Dishonesty and any wrong gesture will have consequences."

With that said, the couple disappeared and Satan and you returned to the Devildom.

Later that night, you sat beside Lucifer's bedside. Your hand clutched his almost lifeless ones like your life depended on it. You were thinking about the riddle they gave you... What can be the answer...?

"What do I do, Lucifer...? You aren't here to guide me right now..." Tears threatened to spill out from your eyes. You kept looking at his face when suddenly... It finally struck a chord with you.

"Sealed with one honest gesture? Yes! this has to be a kiss!! right? right...?" You couldn't help but worry about the warning the couple gave you. If you try, then there's a big chance that you will lose him. But, if you don't, then you will surely lose him. Either way you have to do something.

So, you mustered up your courage and placed a soft but meaningful kiss on his lips.

For a minute or two, nothing happened. But then... his eyes slowly fluttered open.

"(Y/N)...?"

The tears wouldn't stop anymore as you tackled him in a giant hug and cried your heart out. Finally... finally! he was awake. You couldn't be any happier.

He felt the same as he found himself in tears. Thankfully, his nightmares didn't come true and you were safe. Nothing happened... yeah nothing... He didn't go of you for the whole night.

The next day, it was a disaster. The brothers and the others knocked out the air from his lungs with too much hugging. Mammon cried a river and kept apologizing about the things he wasn't even responsible for. Satan hugged him too. Can you believe it?! Even Luke, who can't stand demons, was crying for Lucifer. The whole day was full with crying, laughing and hugging the life out of the older man. Diavolo almost broke his bones with his embrace. Lucifer was touched.

It never ended there. In the middle of the night, he cornered you with a kiss that immediately made you melt. Well, you weren't complaining.

The brothers will probably throw a fit when they find out that Lucifer stole your first kiss. But for now? You shut down your brain and let yourself get pampered by him.

THE END

[spiderfunkz]

✧.* coffee

— summary : in which you meet a pretty customer while working as a barista in your local coffee shop.

— pairings : nancy wheeler x gn!reader

— word count : 0,6k

— warnings : tooth rotting fluff, coffee shop au, modern au(?), sorta set around s3 but canons off the table again, the typical love at first sight stuff, foul language, robin is readers coworker, messy plot & writing.

a/n : this is so cute so thank u for the idea jas ^^ hope u like this little blurb <3 also i don't know shit about coffee oops.

summer of 85' was suppose to be like some kind of rom-com you've imagined.

but here you are at 8 am, working at the local coffee shop to get some extra change, and the sounds of the old coffee machine breaking up was already annoying you.

your coworker aka the only other person here, robin who you've been getting really close with now, was ranting about the pretty person she met a few days ago.

"i'm telling you, y/n, they're really pretty, their hair is like molly ringwald, and they have amazing taste in movies." she continues. "i can look like molly ringwald." you joked, "but you've only met them once robin, they could be an axe murderer or something." you shrug.

"yeah but we had like a chat and stuff, they seem nice." your coworker stated, "that. only happens in movies, beware." you joke, getting interrupted by the welcome bell.

you roll your eyes at robin mocking you before approching the girl infront of you. "hi! welcome to bear brews, what can i get for you?"

"hi, can i get uh-" she paused, looking at the menu screen above you. "actually, what do you recommend here?"

the stranger looked incredibly gorgeous, you were love struck to say the least. her makeup was flawless and her hair was neatly clipped into a small ponytail.

you realize you were probably staring, "oh sorry, uh well are you looking for americanos or lattes or?" you asked. "oh uh, anything with caffeine little or big, up to you." she replied.

"okay, uh does a caramel macchiato with oat milk sound good? it's one of my favorites. i can upper the caffeine level to your liking if you want." you smiled. "yeah, that sounds good!" she smiled back. "the names nance by the way- nancy." she continued.

"pretty," you blurt out — "the name, your name is pretty, sorry uh." your face turns pink as you fumble your words. "sorry, i'll ring you up. your totals $3.75" you smile, "it's alright, thank you so much." she smiles, handing you the money.

you give her, her change before walking towards robin again as nancy sits in one of the seats.

the shop was empty, it was early and most people already made their coffee from home. it's quiet, most of the noise coming from the probably broken coffee machine, robin ranting, or the faint background music you probably forgot to turn on.

"that only happens in movies." robin laughs, "i just saw you go head over heels over a person you just met by the way!" she continues.

"i wasn't-" you paused, "i didn't know a literal princess would be entering a hawkins coffee shop!" you say, a bit too loud maybe.

"go talk to her." robin points.

you thought about it as you made her the drink, ringing it up as soon as your done.

you build up the courage to talk to her when she got up to get the drink, and the talk slowly became a conversation.

you've gotten to know the girl, turns out she works at the hawkins post a few walks away from where you work. her job doesn't start for another hour, and she's already got everything prepared for her 'coworkers' she explained as well, while drinking the coffee you suggested.

time passes and she has to go back.

"it's really nice talking to you, nancy." you smile. "yeah, it was nice talking to you too, i will 100% come back here." she smiled waving before sending you a wink.

you smile before turning to robin who has been behind the counter the whole time. "only in the movies?" she asked as you chuckle, "i change my mind."

[acethatlovesdinos]

Time for a rant on a beautiful au I found, I have escaped containment and none can stop me

@asleepyy's amazing Oopsie!Omens comic currently has me in a chokehold (in a good way) so now imma write a mini essay overanalyzing characterization and story points :] (go read it if you haven't it's right here)

The story they've crafted is incredible, and the view shift is a fascinating perspective. I recommend yall read it if you get the chance.

I just wanna go off about the potential endings that this entire story prompts. (This is WAAAAY far away in the comic, considering where they are in the plot currently, but this is about the end of S2 of the actual show, so beware spoilers)

~~~

If it goes according to how the show did, the Metatron is going to offer to return them both to Heaven, as well as restore Azazel's angelic form.

But my question now is, who is he going to ask? Many of the conversations had between characters, between the show and this comic, have been almost interchangeable between Azazel and Jophiel.

If he asks Jophiel, the answer is likely going to be 'I think the fuck not, don't ever talk to me again'.

By this point he's well aware of their manipulative tactics, and there's no way he would ever force himself or Azazel to go back to that.

But if that happened, I don't think Azazel would confess when Jophiel returns to the bookshop. Theyre too careful, too reserved. They like things as they are, and any thoughts to change that is awfully frightening. I don't think Aziraphale would have ever brought himself to confess first either, in the show. That's just not his style.

Conversely, (and in my opinion far more likely to happen,)

If he asks Azazel, and offers to restore their Angelic status and accept them back to Heaven (likely under the guise that some errors were found in paperwork or something, and that their good nature qualifies them to return), the situation becomes a bit more sensitive.

First of all, if that happened I'd be absolutely convinced that it was a trap,

And second, more importantly, Azazel loves God. They love Heaven. They still believe in kindness and goodness and wish for nothing more than a peaceful existence. If they had an opportunity to go back to that, I've no doubt they'd want to accept it, provided Jophiel came along.

"He said he could appoint me to be an angel. We could go back to Heaven and... and everything, like the old times. Only, even nicer."

Azazel has always been loyal to Heaven above all, it seems. They still believe in hope and love and all the things angels are meant to be. Of course they would jump at the chance to return to a place where they believe theyre cared about.

And it'd make Jophiel's refusal hurt that much worse. It would make Azazel's pleading that much more painful to bear. Because we know that heaven isn't as good as they want it to be. Jophiel knows it too. Azazel isn't naiive, theyre simply too kind for their own good. They look for the good in places where there's hardly any to be found. They always have.

"Well, obviously you said no to Hell, they're the bad guys. But Heaven... Well, it's the side of truth, of light, of good."

"When Heaven ends life here on Earth, it'll be just as dead as if Hell ended it.

Tell me you said no."

Jophiel would be pleading, begging Azazel to open their eyes, to see things as they are, and understand that Heaven isn't going to be what they want. It's still going to be cruel and cold and unforgiving, just like it was when they were Cast Out.

"Jophiel, come back! To Heaven! Work with me! We can be together! Angels...doing good!"

Isn't that what they always wanted? Theyve been burned (literally) by them, more times than can be counted, yet they still turn to God. They still retain Faith in the ones who abandoned them, truly trapped in this manipulative, abusive relationship.

"I dont think you understand what I'm offering you."

"I think I understand a whole lot better than you do."

And in the end...after the Kiss, at least if it's aligned with some of the other parallels in the comic, Azazel's last words to the angel will be

"...Forgive me."

(Not to mention, like i said before it's probably a trap, since it's been made clear that Heaven isn't a fan of Azazel anyway, if they go with them, Jophiel probably needs to come to their rescue afterward)

BUT THEN THERES ANOTHER POINT

Many theories are suggesting that, unseen to us, Metatron also threatened Crowley's soul, which is why Aziraphale was so desperate to have Crowley listen.

If we went with that direction,

Jophiel would be shocked when the Metatron says so. He would be afraid. He wouldn't know what to do. There wouldn't be much of another option, and he would be completely powerless to stop it from happening. In his mind he'd have no choice but to accept, and he'd likely be forced to submission in Heaven, unable to reveal the truth to Azazel, lest they be destroyed. The restored angel would be thrilled and so happy to be close to God again, and has no idea what kind of danger they're in, all riding on Jophiel's silence.

Azazel would be terrified. Jophiel was the first and likely only character to ever treat them like an equal. The idea of losing him would likely destroy them from the inside. They'd be more desperate than ever to have Jophiel join them, wanting to protect him like they've always tried to. Also, if this were the case they're likely wise to heaven's true intentions by now.

I dunno about you but I'm quite excited for my soul to be utterly s h a t t e r e d when that part happens

Anyway sorry, overanalysis is my favorite thing, thank u for coming to my Ted Talk

[cosmic-eye]

Psychonauts the Musical Act II

because I guess this is a thing now. Act I here.

Lungfishopolis: I don't have a good song title here either --- a song with two parts; one mindless & the other a powerful revolt song --- The lungfish citizens start a short, monotone song praising Kochamera, but the appearance of Goggalor interrupts before it can really begin. The resistance members then pick up the song, singing with real emotion their desire for freedom. It cuts for Raz to fight Kochamera, then resumes even more triumphant once he wins. The song then turns to

Linda's song: "Unchained Soul" --- not very long, but not lacking in spirit --- Linda thanks Raz for helping her reclaim her freedom. She tells Raz how she was a normal lungfish until Loboto & Oleander mutated her as she takes him across the lake.

Note: Linda herself does not sing until after Raz frees her, like how she doesn't talk until then in the game. In this case, singing = freedom.

Milkman Conspiracy: "Beware of Cows" --- a patter song, fast and chaotic --- Boyd rants about his various conspiracy theories, becoming increasingly jumpy as he goes.

Milkman Conspiracy: "Special Delivery" --- You know the music that plays when Milkman Boyd hurls flaming bottles at the censors? It's just that. --- Realizing he's the milkman, Boyd voices his intent to burn down the asylum, while Raz frantically tries to convince him not to.

Gloria's Theater: "Happy Flowers" (yep that's another title I'm snagging from the ost, I just like it okay?) --- operatic recitative/Sprechgesang/spoken singing --- As Raz navigates through the opera stages, the performers sing the events of Gloria's life.

Gloria's Theater: "Phantom" --- an operatic aria --- Jasper sings as Raz confronts him. A minor villain song.

Asylum grounds: Another currently nameless piece --- short, energetic --- Raz leaves Gloria's garden and enters a new area. Crispin chides Fred as he battles with himself/Napoleon, enraging an unseen Edgar. The song comes to a halt when Raz tries to sneak by Crispin to get to the elevator.

Waterloo World: "Battle with Sanity" --- Patriotic March Music, but with contradicting lyrics --- Fred sings about how useless he is and how it's pointless to try, with Napoleon countering when he can.

Waterloo World: "Me Again." After Raz breaks Fred out of his learned helplessness, Fred's voice comes back with strength & determination. Ends with him saying he needs a nap.

Black Velvetopia: "House of Cards" --- traditional Spanish flamenco music, or something similar --- Starts with Edgar explaining that he can't reach Lampita, with Raz then setting off to find the queen cards. The bulk of the song is performed by the dog painters, with each adding to Edgar's story until the Dalmation reveals the truth.

Black Velvetopia: "Pathetic" --- almost like a cheerleader's song --- Lampita & Dingo harass Edgar as he battles Raz and then Dingo. Ends with Edgar realizing they're the pathetic ones, and turning the song around on them.

After this, Raz has his disguise, Crispin is taken care of, and the inmates start off. End of Act II. Act III coming soon.

[doccywhomst]

BELTEMPEST REVIEW (EDA #17)

a pretty (bad) book. 1.5/10 for doing my boy dirty.

i don’t usually rate anything this low, but many confounding negative variables really fouled up the plot and characters for me. if you read more, beware: there will be excerpts and major spoilers.

here’s my general perspective: this is the dr who christian sonic the hedgehog fanfiction. it has so many buckwild scenes (like the doctor building a forcefield device that protects a spaceship that crashed on an island from a huge tsunami, and subsequently surfing the tsunami literally to the white house oval office window and having a conversation with the president), and the plot is one giant jesus metaphor that starts nowhere and goes nowhere! so if that’s your thing, you’ll love it.

however…. imo, the doctor is extremely obnoxious in this one. like in war of the daleks, he goes on long pretentious rants, talks in riddles, the quips are trash, and he occasionally feels more like seven (probably bc jim mortimore wrote 4 VNAs - it really surprised me how bad this book was, i’d never have guessed that jim also wrote “the natural history of fear” audio). here’s an example:

he’s like this from the very first scene (p.14):

i know the doctor is kind of a clown sometimes but this dude is a whole court jester, with bells on. it’s too much for me. he talks in amusing little circles, which might be interesting as a one-off in a much better novel, but becomes a dragging constant in this one. i also hate how he constantly talks down to people like a smartass caricature.

here’s some dialogue that i did enjoy, because it felt shockingly substantial (almost out of place), and expands on a scene from scarlet empress:

that was on page 93. the only part i really liked.

the plot orbits around the turbulent sun Bel as it begins to expand, scorching and destroying many of its 22 inhabited planets. ever since the peoples of Bellannia II, IV, XIII, etc. developed space travel, they’ve been dumping their radioactive and toxic waste onto a dead little world, which falls into the sun; little did the Bellannians know, a giant alien embryo was incubating in Bel’s warmth, and their pollution threatens to kill it. dun-dun-dun!

it’s kill the moon. it’s just 249-page kill the moon, but now with a melodramatic Rapture subplot.

right…. okay. just read this:

she ate 💅✨

anyway. millions if not billions of Bellannians are killed as the sun consumes or breaks apart their planets, and some of them turn to a traditional religion that encourages suicide (achieving an “Endless State” through eating poisoned wafers), but many of them are Actually Saved™️ by a little guy you might have heard of called…… Saketh.

the plot was kinda convoluted but essentially he was burned to death but came back, and now anyone who consumes his flesh will live forever (from what i gather, they die but they’re in suspended animation purgatorycore? and they’ll be brought back to life later? but the book ends abruptly and doesn’t explain much.)

i obviously hated it. i really wanted to try to like it, but i couldn’t take it seriously. jim mortimore’s style feels purpley and theatrical, but instead of erring on the side of camp, it feels like it’s meant to be genuine religious/political commentary. it’s serious like how christian sonic fanart is serious. maybe i’m just not the right audience.

the intro might be one of the most interesting sections, given how personal and anthropological it feels: it tells two versions of the deaths of two brothers, who are among the last of their people. it was pretty good, i liked it. but not really the rest.

so yeah. overall, 1.5/10. this is in my bottom three worst EDAs so far. it’s a pretty harsh rating but i’m generous when my appreciation is earned :/

[hazellevessque]

No Control | Aiden Acharya

Aiden was now one hundred percent sure he had absolutely no control over his life.

First of all, he had to hang out with Rudy all the time. Which he wasn't mad about, per se, just annoyed. But, in all honesty, anyone would be annoyed if they had to hang out with their cousin all the time. And they'd be even more annoyed if that cousin had a crush on your best friend's sister.

Secondly, there was Aru. Aru also kind of tied in with the third thing that Aiden hated.

The prophecy.

It was probably the bane of his existence right now.

The prophecy stated, "Beware Aiden Acharya, the girl you love will be the death of you." Which was just wonderful because:

          1) He was going to die. He couldn't even convince himself that the prophecy wasn't about him because it mentioned him by name. There wasn't any false meaning to it. He couldn't read in between the lines. It was simple. He was going to die.

          2) It implied that he loved someone. Probably romantically. And there was only one person Aiden was avoiding for this reason.

Aru.

If Aiden was being completely honest with himself, he wasn't sure how he felt about Aru. It was just different from his other friends. There was something there that set her apart and made her shine.

But he couldn't be in love with her. Because he swore he was never going to fell in love. It didn't matter if she was Arjuna the Triumphant and he was Princess Draupadi. It didn't matter that his stomach turned every time their eyes met. He couldn't fall in love. If there was anything Aiden learned from his parents, it's that love always ended up in flames.

He remembered everything before the divorce. He remembered the arguments his parents had. He remembered the way his dad made him pick sides. He remembered leaving his house and going to Brynne's instead. He remembered taking long walks because he couldn't stay there any longer. He remembered worshiping those seven hours of school where he could be away from it all. He remembered how he'd turn up Taylor Swift to full volume to drown out the screams.

He still hated screams.

The fact that Aiden's mom had given up everything, literally everything, for his dad and it still wasn't enough? That was all the proof Aiden needed to know that love wasn't real.

So Aiden couldn't love Aru. It was as simple as that.

And if Aiden was being completely honest with himself (something he rarely did, it was easier to hide from your emotions), he was scared. He was so terrified that nausea was constantly rolling in his stomach and his heart had permanently pressed itself against his ribcage.

He was scared of his own emotions. He was scared to be alone with Aru because then everything just might spill out of him and he wouldn't be able to stop until everything was out in the open.

But his heart betrayed him. On her birthday, Aru had caught him alone. She had asked why he was avoiding her. What his problem was. She was angry. She asked if he hated her.

I could never hate you. Aiden had thought. That's the problem. Hate would be so much easier than love. 

"Of course not." That was what he said instead.

Aru had gone into a whole rant about how Aiden was ignoring her. And it hurt. It hurt because Aiden knew it was all true, no matter how much he wanted to deny it. It hurt because he felt so guilty to see how much his fear had hurt her. Hurting Aru was the last thing he wanted to do.

And then, the worst yet best part, Aru had said she liked Aiden.

That was when Aiden betrayed himself. His heart was stronger than his head.

He kissed her.

But what about the prophecy? whispered a tiny voice in his mind.

Aiden didn’t care in that moment. But when he pulled away, he forgot about the prophecy. Because Aru's smile was so genuine and dorky and huge that Aiden fell in love with her all over again at that moment.

And then it all shattered.

But that was a different story.

But the thing was that he was caring now.

The point was, all of this is what had been going through Aiden's head the entire morning (and their wedding mission, of course). It had been going through his head since the second his mom woke him up and he brushed his teeth and rushed breakfast. It was the only thing on his mind when he got ready for the wedding his fellow Potatoes were going to crash and when his mom said she was coming with him. And he was agonizing over it right now, lying on his bed, about to walk across the street to Aru's house.

And then it finally hit him what he was supposed to do. He had to let go of Aru. He was going to have to backtrack, and say that kiss was a mistake. And doing that was going to kill him.

But it didn't really matter. He was going to die anyway because of the Girl He Loved.

He was going to die. Because of Aru.

Not because of Aru. Because he didn't love Aru.

Yes he did.

He just couldn't.

—

Posted on Wattpad on my backup account: @Applyfics_by_Alice

[cookiesupplier]

Every Rose Has Its Thorns - Part Thirty-Six

pairing: Ricky Olson x ofc x Chris 'Motionless' Cerulli

warnings/tropes: slow burn, soulmates, strangers to enemies to lovers, betrayal, angst, fluff, smut, language, online bullying, panic attacks, stalking, mental health issues.

summary: In a world where soulmates inexplicably receive a tattoo that will match that of their soulmate the moment they turn eighteen years old, being famous and covered in very visible tattoos can make finding your true soulmate a questionable fate. For everyone involved.

author’s note: Unbeta'd, readers beware as always lol.

To read from the beginning, check out the Masterlist Here!

tags: @tearfallpixie @cncohshit @jordynyingling0219 @faceless-mirror @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747 @witchyweeb34 @black-damask1999 @jilliemiw86 @ilovesamkiszka @lyschko666 @lacktoesandtoddlerants @bngurngheart @collapsedglasshouses @laurpartyprogram @sunsshinesunny @malerieee @talialovesmiw @shilohrosechicken @thatchickwiththecamera @tamtam-elizabeth

Tag List is Open, please let me know if you would like to be added to it or in general.

“Ava, can we talk?”

“Of course.”

Talia swallowed when Ava accepted immediately, even though it was already so late, she knew Ava would agree. She’d known the moment she’d asked her, especially because it was so late. Of course, she already knew with how worried Ava had been ever since she’d had her melt down with Ricky. Ever since she’d told her that she’s always be here to talk if she’d need her, and now here she was, finally asking, just, almost in the middle of the night practically. Hopefully Vinny would forgive her later when Ava returned to him irate and ranting. Talia had a feeling that was exactly how this was going to go down, considering what she needed to talk to her about, that was a definite possibility. Talia didn’t think this was going to be an easy conversation to have between the two of them, not when she knew she’d be lying to her best friend for years. Not to mention the fact she’d been lying to her while they’d also been living together for all this time, they were practically sisters. 

When Talia seemed to pause next, her breath caught in her throat, considering how to go about this. She knew she needed to do this, she was determined to do this, just not sure how she was going to get the words out without Ava hating her; Ava took the reins of the conversation.

“Come on, let's go make some coffee.”

Nodding her head slightly, tilting it towards the way she’d come from the kitchen area, and Talia smiled slightly at the suggestion, amused though considering what it would mean, they were up late enough.

“Decaf, hopefully.”

The wry smile that came from Ava,

“I don’t know, we could always turn it into a movie marathon if we need to, girls night hang out. Like old times. Ditching the boys.”

Talia laughed as she stepped in pace beside Ava, the other nudging her arm beside her as she teased the memory as she spoke, grinning with her. It was a good moment of nostalgia, but it would remain to be seen if Ava would even want to talk to her after she heard what Talia had to say to her tonight. 

Walking into the kitchen, Talia went towards the fancy coffee machine. The same one that she’d learned that Ricky had bought for Vinny after he’d gotten frustrated that the man had never been able to make a decent cup of coffee. Now, in saying that, Talia couldn’t really argue that the machine did its job perfectly. She hadn’t had one bad cup of coffee since she had been staying here, even if she had started going out to get her coffee of the afternoon. She’d been going out more to see Chris, then necessarily her need for caffeine. Well, at first it had just been to give Ava and Vinny space, but then if had been to meet with Chris.

Sighing softly, she closed her eyes at the tingle thinking about those afternoons. She was starting to think her damn tattoo was feeding from her imagination, that it was getting worse now that she even knew Chris was an option, well, no, that sounded crass. No, it was since he kissed her. It was almost as if that kiss had ripped open something with her tattoo, opened up the bond between them, a connection. Was that possible? Acting on it, was that what was forming this bond, was that what was making it real?

Did she want it to be real? If her bond with Chris became real, what would happen to her one with Ricky?

She’d never heard of a person having two soulmates.

She shivered slightly at the thought.

Not the time Talia, not the time. Right now, she needed to focus on Ava. Focus on here, on now, not to let herself get distracted.

She continued to make the coffee, and of course she knew just how Ava liked her coffee, half strength, skim, extra sweet. Finishing up both the cups, she brought them over to Ava, choosing to sit at the table, it was just easy staying in here with their coffees than moving around the house. Sighing, Talia sat in the chair, the very same table she’d had this similar conversation with Ricky and Chris the other day. Her hands wrapped around her hot mug of coffee, fingers heated against the porcelain cup, it was a refreshing feeling.

“This is something I should have talked to you about a long time ago, but, truthfully, I haven’t talked about this to anyone, I haven’t said a word about this to anyone until I had my meltdown. I explained to Ricky, and Chris, and now it's only fair, I finally explain to you the truth.” Her fingertips were mindlessly drawing patterns on the outside of her cup before she lifted the mug to her lips, trying to give her mind a short break. Taking a breath, just needing a moment to gather herself.

“Do you remember when I moved in with you, after my prolonged trip to Europe that year?”

Ava nodded quietly, and the fact that she was so quiet, told Talia she knew what was coming was so much more than just a simple confession.

“I wasn’t in Europe.”

Explaining everything after that, was so much more difficult this time around. Sitting there with Ava, was like being right back there in the past, in those moments. All those years ago when she was being ripped open by her family, by those doctors, when it felt like her whole existence was brought into question just because her family thought they knew better than her. 

She was in tears, a complete mess as she explained everything about the intervention, the institute, the way she convinced the doctors, how she’d gotten out. Moved in with Ava and moved on and left it all behind. Just pushed herself to forget about it. 

Ava was also in tears as she hugged her, squeezing her for dear life, desperate to know how she couldn’t have told her. 

By the time Talia had calmed down, and she had managed to soothe down Ava, she knew she couldn’t stop there with her explanations. There was so much more now, even if the rest was far more recent. So much that she’d been keeping inside for fear that she’d affect Ava’s bond with Vinny. Telling her about how she’d been feeling about ever since they’d met the boys, how Ricky had been making her feel from the start. Sure, in the beginning, it wasn’t likely surprising, but as she continued with the way her tattoo had been impacting her, what had happened at the party, like predicted, Ava wanted to kill Ricky for what he’d done. Talia shut her down cold before she continued, telling her to just listen, and let her finish.

She continued, and told her everything.

The party, her afternoon coffees with Chris, there were things that Ava of course knew in the course of events. Such as what happened with the live stream, with Grace, how it all had changed so much because it had gotten her and Ricky actually talking. The kitchen she knew some of, she had told her some, the discovery of the marks effects, then, her complete freak-out. That leading to her confession to Ricky, and Chris…

That, was when Ava stopped her, confused, why she was pulling Chris into this…

It was then that Talia paused, she wasn’t sure how much more she could tell Ava, how much more she had the right to tell her, because anything more, and it meant betraying Chris’ trust. Yes, she was Vinny’s soulmate, and Talia knew that she would likely know the truth of his soulmate bond, that his soulmate had died, but it wasn’t her place to tell her.

“Chris knows a lot to do with soulmates, and he’s helping us look into this soulmate bond, and… oh… no, no I can’t hide things from you again. There is more, but it’s not for me to tell you, because it's not just about me anymore.”

“Right, Ricky too.”

Ava still didn’t sound happy about the man, and Talia understood, for her, being mad at him was fresh, Talia had been dealing with this for weeks. Honestly, realising she wasn’t going insane, allowed her to give Ricky the benefit of the doubt, and just a little forgiveness. Not to mention, the caring he was showing her, the kindness he’d shown her in the last few days meant more to her than she could convey to Ava right now, it seems. All she could manage to tell her, was how much he seemed to have changed, how much he had been helping her. That everything felt different between them since Grace had been attacking them, that it felt like he had finally been opening up. She asked, but no, he didn’t seem to be opening up to their bond, and Talia told her she was okay with that, she respected that. Ricky had every right to protect himself after what that woman did to him. Reminding her with a smirk what she called her, soulmate stealing harpy.

Talia would do everything she could to protect him from her, even from others trying to force him to do things their way. Just the way he had done for her. 

“And Chris.”

“Wait, Chris?!”

Talia smiled at the look of confusion on Ava’s face at her question, she chuckled as she finished off the last of her mug of coffee,

“Yea, I know, a little confusing, and if I could tell you everything, I would, maybe in time. I promise, I’m telling you everything I can. I won’t keep any big life changing secrets from you again, Ava.”

She sighed. She felt better, knowing that she’d gotten so much off her chest. This had gone so much better than she thought it would, she had honestly thought that Ava would be angry at her for not telling her all those years ago.

Chris stared at his computer screen, last night after dinner, he’d posted in the message boards about his situation about his changing soulmate mark, just as he told Ricky and Talia he would. This time he didn’t do so anonymously, no, this time he wanted to be able to be alerted directly, and not just from every message on the board like he had last time. 

He’d been active on his board for years, ever since he’d gotten out of his inpatient treatment and joined the community, wanting to have a connection with other people in his situation without them knowing who he was. No one on the message board knew the account was him, he’d never shared personal information, he’d never shared images of his tattoo either, when it was black or white. That way, even if someone tried to match any information up to any of the band’s fan sites, they’d have no luck. Not that any of the sites had ever managed to nail down just what his soulmate tattoo was, just guesses over the years. He was completely anonymous on the board, just how he wanted to be.

So far, the message had gotten nothing back. Well, no, there had been plenty of discussion around his message. All of it, however, was nothing but pure confusion, and none of it involved anyone else that had heard anything even remotely connected to anyone experiencing anything similar to what Chris was. 

This was getting him nowhere, and he was nervous as hell. When more and more people were suggesting that something could be wrong, something could be affecting his body and he could be ill. That his skin under the tattoo for one could be changing the colour, and he should see a colour. Just now, a woman sent a simple message:

Have you considered cancer?

Nope. What the hell, nope.

Okay, he hadn’t told them the whole story including Ricky and Talia’s involvement not wanting to pull them into the board information, and didn’t want to include the sensations, but come on!

No, he was taking a step back from this avenue of questioning immediately. 

Sure, it had been less than twelve hours, but this was too much. No, he was going to call one of his friends in research, and see what they said instead. They might have something better than, it could be cancer.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics