#this was fun I spent like 18 months of my life on that fic I could talk about it for years lol

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[tirkdi]

SPILLLLL who was aleksanders half brother in shadow of war?? was it the soldier creeping on alina at the president's ball??

You know what, I think this is the first time I've been asked! I had thought I might at some point write a drunk-history-style Morozova backstory for that fic, but it's been eight years so it may be time to admit that it's unlikely to happen ...

His half brother is the Fjerdan ambassador we meet in chapter 21, Ambassador Visser. When I wrote it, I'd meant to not hit people over the head with it since Alina didn’t make the connection herself, but when I mentioned it to my beta reader they were shocked — turns out it was way too subtle, lol. I mention their similar colored eyes and facial resemblance once or twice, and it turns out that's not enough for people to divine an entire familial relationship and backstory! Who knew??

Part of it is that there's a lot more going on with the general and Fjerda than Alina is aware of until reeeeeeally late in the story, and that the reader is never told: he was born in Fjerda, the Fjerdan ambassador to Ravka is his half brother, he got the scars on his face while he and his mother escaped, etc. The conversation Alina and the general have shortly before meeting Ambassador Visser is not talking about revenge for only Baghra's death:

... "But I would be careful about leaving children while killing their parents. Children who survive grow up to be adults who seek revenge."  Her pulse sped perceptibly, and she wet the corner of her lip with her tongue. "Like me," she whispered.  "Like you," he agreed, tucking a stray strand of hair into the folds of her head wrap. His eyes dipped again to the reflection of her ring in the mirror, and his mouth set firmly. "Like us."

... but also what they did to her while she was alive.

(It's worth noting that Aleksander knows the ambassador is is half brother, but Ambassador Visser (and pretty much everyone else) is completely unaware of this relationship)

[covetyou]

ghosted

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: sex toys (satisfyer "glowing ghost"), unprotected P in V, creampie, oral (f receiving), reader loves floor time (so does Joel), angst (but we fix it), some anxiety/depression adjacent things. word count: 5751 summary: As spring moves into summer, the only thing you're wishing for is to be so far from the events of Easter, and Valentine's and Christmas before it, that you could forget and move on. But, by the time the end of May is on the horizon, the time between still isn't enough - You haven't forgotten, and you haven't moved on.

A/N: thank you to everyone still sticking with this sporadic-installment-series-that-was-never-meant-to-be-a-series. our next visit to these two will be 4th July in stars and stripes, but until then, enjoy 💛

(and yes I know I am technically later than planned with this for non Americas folk - I couldn't get the ending to my liking until suddenly I could, and now its gone midnight. whoops!)

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If it was true that time flies when you're having fun, it was safe to say the opposite was true too.

You weren't having fun, and time was well and truly crawling by at a snails pace.

That wasn't for lack of trying. In recent weeks you'd spent more time out of the house than you ever had - lunch with friends, drinks with colleagues, solo trips to bookstores and farmers markets. There was barely a moment of time you hadn't filled with something.

It was probably a shitty coping mechanism, all things considered, but it was the best you had. You couldn't quite bring yourself to confide in anyone your secret shame of letting a stranger into your house and touch you like he belonged there. The even bigger shame of living in a place for so very long and not knowing how the door worked, not knowing the stranger was your neighbor, being so very consumed in your own life - woe is you - that you didn't bother paying attention to the lives of the people around you. So, you kept on willing the passage of time, and filling every moment you could with distractions.

It wasn't that you were usually one for wishing time away. A slow, warm spring before the blazing heat of summer consumed everything would usually be a good thing - even better now that you'd lived and experienced your first Texas summer and were soon to have your second.

What you were really wishing for was to be so far from the events of Easter, and Valentine's and Christmas before it, that you could forget and move on.

As it was, by the time the end of May was on the horizon, the time between still wasn't enough. Almost two months to the day, and it still ached and burned in you just as much as it always had, if not more. The embarrassment and shame of not knowing how to work a fucking lock was one thing, the fear of the danger you'd put yourself in was another. Then there was the sadness, the loss, the unexpected emptiness at losing something you weren't even sure you had to begin with. And then, in more recent weeks, was the longing.

And you didn't want to feel any of it.

When Memorial Day Weekend eventually rolls around, the blossoming heat of summer keeping you indoors, you lie there on your living room floor, a fan blowing not quite cool enough air across your sweaty body until a knock at the door disturbs the patterns your eyes were tracing on the ceiling.

The dimness in your vision doesn't go away, even as you blink away the dust and try to get your eyes to adjust. The sun had set, apparently. It wasn't completely dark just yet, but dark enough to cast the lower level of your home in shadow, and you hadn't even noticed. You technically had plans today - plans that had now gone to shit, much like everything else.

Hauling yourself from the ground, you unlock your door, no thought or care of who could be on the other side of it, because one thing was certain - it wouldn't be Joel. You'd lost hope of that weeks ago. Each time you opened it with a fools hope in your mind, you were instead handed a delivery and told to have a good day as you stared out into the street, disappointed that it was only a clitty-blaster-3000, or a new blender, and not Joel.

You mindlessly pull open the door, expecting to be handed a package you hadn't ordered, or to even see a friendly face coming to pull you out for plans you agreed to but didn't really want to do.

But there he is. Two months later - but not too late, you don't think - and entirely out of the blue. Nervous hands are thrust into his pockets with his thumbs twitching on the outside of his jeans, standing there like he didn't belong here at all, when everything in your body was screaming he's home.

This was far from the first time you'd seen him since March. The first time was barely three days after you pushed him away. April Fools' Day, of all days. Fitting, you thought, given how much of a fucking fool you felt whenever you remembered everything you'd done, and said, and felt. It turns out he was the owner of the truck you'd seen parked in a drive a little way down the street, father to the little girl you'd seen bounding out of that house so many times before. Neither thing made the hurt in your chest any less, and you'd driven past with a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes.

The same happens now, but you fight them back so you can see more clearly as his mouth twitches into a small smile, making you freeze on the spot. Your mind was already blank, but that freezes too, and you stare at him dumbstruck for a moment so long you're certain a flicker of concern dances across his eyes.

And you could close the door in his face, push him out and away just like you did on that day over two months ago, but you don't. As you come back around, finally letting your brain reconnect with the rest of your body, the only thing you can feel is relief and total utter joy at getting to see him up close again.

There's still shame too. That's been simmering low and mellow in you for so long now that it's fused with your bones - you're not sure you'll ever shake it - but it's the least important thing right now as you stand and look at him, more awkward and uncertain than you've ever seen him.

"Hi."

You're surprised it's you who speaks first, given how dry your mouth is all of a sudden, seeing him up close again and looking as good as, if not better, than he ever has.

"Hey," he says, before clearing his throat. "S'good to see you."

It's a voice you didn't want to forget, but apparently damn near almost had, given the way your body reacts to it. Deep and rumbling, with the slow southern drawl trickling down your spine like honey and settling between your thighs - though in all honesty that might just be sweat. It really is hot in here, worse now that you're standing, and the fan is doing absolutely nothing to help. You look a mess too - your hair, your clothes, your life - but he doesn't seem to mind, and you're grateful, because right now this is as good as you've got.

"Wanted to see how you were doin'. Figured we should talk," he says with another soft smile.

Stepping aside, you give him a small nod as you silently invite him into your home for the first time. Which should be funny, given the unknown number of times he's been through this door, but you're not ready to laugh about any of it just yet.

When the door closes behind him, it's soft and gentle, barely audible over the fan blasting warm air at you, and you wonder if it's always like that. If he's always quiet as a mouse, and you always too oblivious to notice - between the two of you, you didn't stand a hope in hell in figuring it all out until it was too late and blew up in your face. Now, here you are, egg on your face, the heat in the room not helping the heat in your cheeks, trying desperately not to send him away when you've just invited him in.

It would be easier if it all still felt like a dream, but it didn't. That had changed.

Joel had never been much of a normal man in your mind. He was more of a fantasy come to life. A fantasy that was slowly building into something more and more real with each encounter. Even now, stood in normal shoes, wearing a normal t-shirt, and even more normal jeans - just Some Guy by anybodies standard - he looks as beautiful and fantastic as ever.

"Wanted to talk to you sooner. Wanted to leave it up to you given - y'know. Everythin'. Didn't want you to think I was just bargin' in all the time when it was convenient for me," he says, this very normal man already making you feel both silly and elated that he was waiting for you as much as you were waiting for him. Obviously you could have gone to him first. You just couldn't do it. You almost had so many times, but the twist of your key in the door would twist something in the pit of your stomach too, and you'd stop before you even made it out the house.

You knew why. It was always the same thing. You didn't want to talk - not ever. You just wanted things to be okay, or not, and go on with your life. It was one of those childish things you had your mom to thank for - she wasn't great at talking about the important thing either.

The difference now was Joel. You wanted to talk to him, you wanted to work out everything with him rather than alone in your head. But prior to the door incident, that wasn't what this was and after - well, fuck - after, it seemed that it could have been like that all along but you were too damn late to do anything about it.

"Know you were angry with me - maybe still are - and I -"

"I wasn't angry with you," you blurt out, already aware of the lie the moment it leaves your lips. Joel is too, and he raises an eyebrow at you. "Okay. Yes. It pissed me off - you pissed me off. Happy?"

"No. Never wanted to piss you off, darlin'," he murmurs in return, and you can see that he means it by the way all of him softens, drooping in defeat at your admission.

"I... You embarrassed me, Joel. I feel embarrassed, okay? I feel like a stupid idiot, and I -"

You can already feel it all coming back. The swirling in your head, and the heat creeping up your chest and down your arms, not helped by this sweltering fucking house. It's like fainting, but instead of blacking out, a white hot rage is ready to ignite in you. And of everything, it's the thing you most never want to feel again. You'd take all the sadness, loss, emptiness, and longing of the last two months a million times over if it means you never have to feel this again.

" - and it makes me angry. And I hate feeling like that, like this, and I just couldn't come talk to you because I feel so stupid."

"Woah, darlin', c'mon now, we both know you ain't stupid."

"I don't know how to work a fucking door, Joel. Do you know how long people have had doors?"

Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes before starting up again, hoping Joel will take the lead and talk for you first, but he doesn't.

"And I thought we were on the same page. That we were both doing the same silly thing, and it was okay that it was silly and fun, because we were both in on the joke. And... I liked seeing you. I liked it when you were here and it just - it just feels like it was a lie, and what I got out of it isn't what you got out of it. And that's okay, but it still feels stupid. I feel like an idiot, and an asshole, and knowing that you knew so much more about me than I knew about you, I just-"

"Do you want to?" he asks. "Do you wanna get to know me? Just gotta say, and it's done. I want you to know about me - I never meant to hide anythin' from you like that. And I don't want you to be mad, and I don't want you to feel embarrassed, cause the way I see it, we both got shit to be embarrassed about. I was breakin' into your house for months, thinkin' I was invited."

You wince a little, and he just smiles, shrugging his broad shoulders that what's done is done, nonchalance easing your anxiety for the first time ever rather than making it worse.

"I used to stand out there in front of your door and talk to your doorbell like you'd talk back to me any minute," Joel says with a laugh. "Course, now I get that you probably ain't got it hooked up. Never did hear the fuckin' thing ring."

Fuck. Right. Yeah, he's got you there. You'd bought it when you moved in, at your mom's insistence, and never got around to connecting it to anything. You figured it just being there would be deterrent enough and, other than visits from Joel, it had been.

He laughs again at your poorly masked grimace, and any other time you'd maybe be infuriated by him finding humor in something you'd been hurting over for weeks. It's not until you meet his eye and see the silliness in it all too - neither of you really did have any hope.

"Right? It's dumb. Not you, not me, it's just dumb. I even used to tell you when I'd be over next, let you know when to expect me. Leave out a key or put the door on the latch if it's okay for me to come by. I thought I was bein' invited in, but I was breakin' in. Shit. You're embarrassed, and I'm a criminal, I guess we're both losers."

Any anger you had is gone in a flash as laughter ripples through your belly and out your throat. In a way, it's all true. Joel was just as fucked as you, had just as much to be embarrassed and fearful about as you. Unknowingly leaving your home vulnerable to intruders is one thing, but being an accidental criminal for months is another.

"I liked it. I... I never knew when you were coming."

"Hey, if that's what gets your rocks off," he says with a wink, and you laugh again. "I ain't one to judge, but we can explore that in safer ways than keepin' a door unlocked day and night."

You both realize what he said the second the word left his lips.

We.

As in us.

As in together.

And you think he might take it back as quick as he said it, but he doesn't. He just looks at you, half fearful that he said the wrong thing, half hopeful that he said the right thing.

"Okay."

With one word he brightens, and you can feel it in you too. Whatever it is is mutual. Has been since the red velvet coat, since the wings, since the bunny ears, and all the spaces in between.

"Yeah? Cause I'd like to start over, if that's okay with you."

"Well, that sounds like a terrible idea," you say bluntly, because honestly you cannot think of anything worse. Joel's slow steps towards you falter for a second as he tries not to let the disappointment in his face show, but you're already smiling. "You can pry Santa, Cupid, and Flopsy from my cold, dead hands."

And his laugh is glorious, cracking open the remnants of the walls you'd put around yourself and letting your bones soak in the warmth of him, just as his arms come to wrap around you, pulling you against his chest. He smells so familiar - that's one thing you know about him. You might not know about his favorite color, or what he likes to eat, or even his daughters name just yet. But you know what he smells like, how his smile lights up his eyes, and how his hands feel on you, anchoring you in place even as you send yourself dizzy breathing him in.

He's going to kiss you too. You know that, and you welcome it, but before he can, you pull back.

"There's so much I want to know, I don't know how I missed so much."

"You get one question before I'm kissin' you."

You think for just a second before looking down to where your fingers curl into his shirt - an old Fleetwood Mac tee, so washed and worn it's like butter beneath your fingers.

With a wry smile, you look up at him from beneath your lashes, unable to hold back the laughter in your voice. "What are you dressed as today? Don't think I know this one, you're usually on theme."

"This? I'm just your plain ol' friendly neighborhood Joel Miller."

His lips are on yours then, pressing a soft kiss into the curve of your mouth, eyes searching yours for one, two, three seconds, before he dives back in, kissing you in earnest, making up for all the in betweens you'd been wishing away.

You wrap yourself around him, clinging to him, damn near wanting to climb up him, as you make out like teenagers in the middle of your living room. His hands wander across your shoulders, down your spine, grasping at any softness he can find along the way until his hands settle - one on your ass, and one gently cupping the back of your neck.

And as you kiss, holding each other close like you were long lost lovers and not whatever this thing between you was, you can't help but think that Joel Miller may just be your favorite Joel yet.

"Now, I got a question for you," he mumbles into your mouth, each word chased by your kisses. You've never wanted to seem desperate before, but right now you don't care, and by the way he's holding you, Joel doesn't mind either.

"Why the fuck do you have a nightlight?"

Shooting him an inquisitive look, you follow his gaze over your shoulder.

There on your counter, little light blinking away, is your very own clitty-blaster-3000, a luminous ghost with its mouth set in a permanent O, glowing brightly in the darkness. Shit. You'd brought it down this morning to charge, needing to keep a watchful eye on it and its janky magnetic charger to make sure it charged fully. You'd totally forgotten about it, and now here it was, glowing like a beacon after being out in the sun all day.

You try to pull away from Joel, but with his arms locked around your body, and his mouth pressing soft whiskered kisses to your neck, you don't have the strength, or the inclination, to move.

"It's not a nightlight, I can go put it away, if you just gimme-"

He tucks you behind him, swatting away your arms as you feebly try to reach around and grab it from him. Truthfully, you quite like the idea of him holding it, using it, but you feel bad that he might not know what it is.

"Not a nightlight, huh?" He says, grabbing the toy from the counter, said charger immediately popping off and clattering to the ground. He inspects it, turning it over in his hands, bringing it so close to his face it casts shadows across his features with its glow. "Oh, I know what this is."

"What is it then, smartass."

"Other than Pac-Man's worst nightmare? It's one of them clitty-blaster-3000 things."

Eyes wide, you double over, cackling and holding desperately onto yourself so you don't totally fall apart in front of him. He laughs with you, though maybe it's a little bit at you too, but you don't mind.

"What?!" he says smiling as he watches you fight to right yourself, gripping his forearm with laugh weakened fingers.

"That's what I call it!"

"Yeah? It good?"

His eyes are burning into yours. You know where this is going, and there's a brief thought that maybe you should stop it, slow things down. But you don't. Instead, you bite your lip and nod, making a noise of confirmation as Joel fiddles with the buttons on the toy.

A second later, it whirrs to life, a gentle throbbing buzz meeting your ears.

Joel puts his thumb over the hole, the suction gently hammering away at his finger tip as he clicks up and up through the intensity until he's well past a level you can use it at.

"Shit, yeah. Can see how that'd feel good."

"I, uhm, like to tease myself with it."

"Yeah?" he says as it clicks back down through the settings and rests on the softest one again. "Is that how you use it? Just to tease yourself?"

"No," you say, gasping a little when he raises the toy to your neck, pressing the mouth of the ghost to you as if pressing a kiss to your skin. "I - I just kinda stick it on there, to be honest. But I go slow with the - with the settings."

Joel clicks up one setting, the gentle thrumming at your neck intensifying a little.

"Yeah? You take your time? Give her what she deserves?"

You forgot what this was like - how easy and good it was to give in to wanting him, and how easy it was to let yourself have him too.

"Mhm."

"Good. Can't say I ain't jealous though. Missed comin' here. Seein' you. Thought about you, thought about comin' to see you but -"

"Thought about you too."

"When you were usin' this?"

You nod, tilting your head to the side and sighing as he glides the tip of the toy across your pulse point, behind your ear, down the column of your throat.

"Can I use it on you?"

You damn near want to tell him he can do whatever the fuck he wants with you, but the words are lost when you nod again and he captures your mouth in another kiss, brutal in its softness as he guides you back to your couch and all the plush cushions you have stacked there. Since Christmas, your home décor skills have definitely improved. Things look a little less bare, the place looks a little more lived in. There's still pictures to hang and empty spaces on shelves to fill, but you know those things will come in time. For now, you're grateful for the comfy place you've made on your sofa as Joel sits you down, guiding you down with strong hands.

Your shorts are quickly pulled off, the toy pulled from your neck so Joel can kiss his own better trail across your flesh. You hold him to you, anchor him into your bosom like he might drift off like a spectre in the night if you don't, but he's as latched to you as you are to him.

And then he's on his knees for you, jeans straining as his cock swells, hands gripping your thighs then pushing your shirt up, exposing you for him. Panties soon follow your shorts, yanked down your legs in a joint effort by your left hand and his right as he can't resist lapping at your mouth, tangling his tongue with yours.

He's everything you tried to forget, and some of the things you did. He's strong, and broad. He's gentle too, and soft - his eyes, mostly, but some other parts of him too. He's silly, and playful, smiling into your mouth and nipping at you, the hand by your thigh teasing the buzzing toy over the delicate skin there and delighting in your shudder.

As he moves it closer, the sounds of the suction against your skin making you both giggle, he moves down, burying his face into your neck and breathing in. You already know that it's never been like this before - that this is something new, just like every other time before had been something new.

"So you just stick it on, huh?"

"Lube. With lube."

His face is between your legs in an instant, licking messily around your clit, not really trying to get you off, just aiming to get you wet. When he pulls back, toy in hand, he raises the glowing toy mouth to his own and licks, smiling at the sound of it suctioning to his tongue.

"That good enough?"

And you nod, giving in to his kisses again before he breathlessly spreads you apart with both hands, looking at your cunt like if he blinks it'll all fade away.

"You know I ain't seen this for three months?"

"You been counting?"

"I missed you," he repeats with a breathless kiss to your thigh. "Missed this."

He lights his way with the glow of the toy rumbling in his hand, pulling back your clit for just one second, barely holding in a groan, before he gently holds the mouth of the ghost to you, pressing until the obscene slurp is muffled by full suction on your clit.

And it's divine, just like it always is, but somehow made even better by the man doing it to you. Fascinated eyes don't stop watching as it hammers air lightly at your clit in a constant rhythm, and the sight alone makes you drip. You're grateful for the heat now, and the sheet you'd covered your velvet sofa with, saving you an undoubtedly messy clean up later.

The toy slips when Joel climbs back off his knees to press his mouth to yours, and the air splutters and ripples past your skin again, as Joel laughs into your mouth.

"The sound of this thing, jesus fuckin' christ. Sounds like you're -"

"Don't. Don't make me laugh, you'll distract me."

"I like it when you laugh," but he's already pressing it flush to your skin again, stopping the sound and sending the ripples directly back to your clit.

"Ohh, f- "

"That's it," he says, watching as your hips rock ever so slightly into the throbbing toy sucking away on your clit. "Fuck, that's it. Lettin' me get you off with this thing."

"Think I can get some fingers in and keep this right where you need it?"

"Mm."

"Yeah?" he says, swiping at your entrance with his middle fingers, carefully holding the toy in place with his palm. "Just like that. There we go. Right in there. Fuck, I missed this. Missed bein' in here."

"Fuck."

"That's it. You come on 'em. Wanna feel it."

"Joel, down. Move it down. Ple- ah."

"There?"

"Right there," you sigh, panting and barely making it through the words before your eyes snap shut.

And then Joel is in your ear, his breath fanning against you, cooling you for a second even as his fingers stoke the fire raging in your core.

"You're fuckin' beautiful," he murmurs, and you just know he's looking down at you, the picture of a perfect mess. A sheen of sweat on your skin, lips swollen and parted as you gasp, thighs spread wide, hips rocking into Joel's illuminated palm, t-shirt rucked high over your hips, hands on your tits, nipples pinched between your own fingers, moaning, panting, coming.

You twitch in his arms, burying your head in his neck and breathing deep. Something about the position you're in can keep it going longer, can keep that thrumming pressure on your clit right where it is, past your usual limit, dragging your orgasm on and on until you're gasping Joel's name.

He gingerly pulls the glowing toy off of you - its brightness dimmed only slightly since you lost sight of it between your legs - fiddling with buttons until he gives in and throws it to the side to run his hands over you.

With a light kisses to your parted lips, he apologizes, giving you softly muttered sorrys for ever upsetting you, for taking so long to come talk to you, and before you can return the sentiment, he sends you laughing again.

"And I'm sorry for breakin' into your house. Accidentally."

Your laughter makes him shift, and his face contorts as he gasps in discomfort.

"Fuckin' jeans. Pinchin'," is all he says, as he tries to adjust himself. You can see his zipper strain with the weight of his cock, stiff and unattended, behind the thick fabric.

"Take 'em off."

"Came here for you, not me."

"And if I want you to come for me?"

Joel blinks.

"Then I'm takin' my damn pants off," he says, taking his pants off. He sighs in relief when the pressure on his cock is released, groans when your hand palms him over the damp fabric, gasps into your mouth when you slip your fingers beneath his waistband, finding his cock slick and wet with precum, curses into your hair when you lick the salty taste of him from your fingers.

Tugging his boxers down a little more, his cock springs free, slapping his wet tip against his belly. In a blink you're on him, pulling off his shirt as you go to suck wet kisses into his neck, his chest, and letting your fingers toy with his nipples and the other feel down past his boxers, cupping his balls and rolling your thumb across the sensitive flesh before he pushes up into you.

He's solid. You're surprised he didn't come in his pants with how firm he feels slipping against your cunt. You meet his thrust, grinding down into his solid length, trying to hold your own shirt up so you can see the tip of his cock as he ruts against you.

"Does that feel good?"

"Fu - yeah. Y'always feel good."

"Y'know what would feel better," you whisper, scratching gently down his chest and watching goosebumps prickle his skin. With a shift of your hips, his next thrust pushes in, just slightly, before popping out and grinding into your clit again. His next thrust - slower, firmer - notches against your entrance and pushes in, Joel's hands on your ass dragging you down, until you're seated to the root of him.

It's a stretch. It always was. But over three months, and a decline in solo sessions, made it even more so.

Still, even through the stretch, you rock against him, looking into the eyes of Joel Miller, the normal, every day guy who lives down your street, and smile at it all, and the look on his face that says he couldn't be luckier.

"Said I wanted you to come, didn't I?"

And you meant it. You show him how much you mean it as you start to ride him, lifting higher and higher off of him before pushing back down. Your thighs clap against his, wet with sweat and slipping together with each movement, echoing around your living room.

It doesn't last long. It can't. It's too fucking hot, and you're woefully out of practice as the stretch in your pussy turns into a burn in your legs. You can see Joel's face start to pinch and contort, looking between your face, your bouncing tits, and the slip of his cock in and out of you, barely visible in the shadows.

But you can't keep going. You'll pass out if you do. Joel's hands register what you're doing before his face does, gripping tighter and holding you down on him, before his mouth opens in a gasp, his head falling back after losing something he was so close to getting.

You barely pull in a breath of warm air before Joel is dragging you down, flipping you unceremoniously onto your back on the floor.

It's cooler down here, even with Joel's body over yours. It's why you were on the floor to begin with, before he came back, before you let him back in. Joel fumbles against you, the sweat on your body acting more like a full body lube at this point, before he slides back in, knocking the air out of you as he fills you all over again.

Even though his knees will be bruised in the morning and your back will ache, he pounds into you, gripping your shirt and pulling you down with each thrust.

And it's just so fucking good you can't help but practically scream as he fucks you, moaning loudly into his ear as he groans and pants and swears into yours. Your fingers can't find purchase against his back, even as you desperately claw at him. There's too much sweat - it's too fucking hot in here - but you wouldn't change any of the desperate mess that you find yourselves in here on the floor.

He's growling, balls slapping against you, fucking you so hard you have to throw a hand out to hold onto the couch.

"I'm gonna - fuck - look at me. Look. Fuck. Fuck."

He presses in then, spurting deep in you, stealing the air from your mouth, and you from his, as you gasp and groan with each shallow thrust of his hips.

When he pulls out, hands going from bruising grip to gentle strokes, he rolls off of you, his back slapping wetly against the ground just as your pussy makes its own equally wet sound. And you laugh, because it's silly, just like it always has been, with or without a costume or a name that's not quite his own to go with it. Joel chuckles along with you, content and dozy from his orgasm, the evidence of it trickling out of you and making a mess of your floor as your stomach contracts with laughter.

The house cools down in the darkness - not much, but enough. Your hands find each other again too, and you each dance small patterns across each others skin until words come back to you.

You talk there on the floor, sweat drying on your skin, until the rumble of your stomach becomes too distracting to continue. You learn his favorite color, what he does for a living, his daughters name. You even learn the exact make and model of his truck, something you immediately forget.

And when he tries to excuse himself, too frightened of overstaying his welcome, you invite him to stay, and Joel Miller, the best Joel you've ever met, says yes.

next part

taglist: @jupiter-soups@wannab-urs@bean-is-reading@not-a-unique-snowflake-blog@youandmeand5bucks-blog@bbyanarchist@vickywallace@kamcrazy123@valkyreally@ashhlsstuff@a-literal-goblin@ariundercovers@iluvurfather@stevie75@toxicanonymity@thesevi0lentdelights@sp00kymulderr

[potatoplace]

You Can Have It - Chapter 1

Alpha!Feysand x Omega!Reader

chapter 2 | series masterlist

Story Summary: You've been a baker for 75 years, and are finally moving on from the Winter Court to the City of Velaris to start your own bakery after your grandmother passes. After your grand opening, the High Lord and Lady of Night become daily visitors to your bakery for months, every day having your most popular pastry- one that increases fertility for a short time. All the while, the two alphas want nothing more than to call themselves yours.

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, death (brief and non graphic), most likely a LOT of future smut, this is a pregancy plot fic so keep that in mind

Words: ~4.2k

*Reader is a half peregryn, half high fae, presenting as a peregryn with white wings, with white blonde hair and ice blue eyes from her Winter Court father

*Title taken from Chelsea Cutler's 'You Can Have It,' I feel like the general vibe of the song works well with how Feysand will react to reader (with less alcohol)

Author's Note: It's heeeere I'm so happy! No Feyre or Rhys yet, but we'll get there in the next chapter or two. I'm so excited to build up the bakery and upstairs apartment, and the grand opening will be fun! I hope you guys like this chapter.

18+ only pls

🤍🩵🤍💜🤍

“I love you, Nanna. I’ll never forget you, and all that you taught me. I will miss you so, so much. I’ll see you in the next life, but you go have fun for now. Go make all the pastries that you ever dreamed up, bake and make people happy, just like you did here, Nanna. I love you,” you whispered as your grandmother’s chest stopped moving, her soul leaving with her last exhale. Tears streamed down your face as you kissed her hand one last time.

“Y/N, we need to move her,” Viviane said softly from behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder while avoiding your wing.

“I know,” you sighed, squeezing your Nanna’s hand one last time before standing. She led you out of the room and out of the infirmary altogether, taking you from the place where you had spent months tending to your grandmother as she slowly died, a curse that was spilling through her veins for so many years.

“Have you packed everything yet?” Viviane asked you as the two of you walked back to your quarters near the kitchens.

“Everything besides what I use daily, but it shouldn’t take me more than fifteen minutes. Are you still willing to winnow me?”

“Of course, Y/N. I wouldn’t have anyone else do it, not after all you’ve done for us,” Viviane reassured you with smile. The two of you were already at your room, and Viviane stood in the doorway as you packed up the rest of your things. “You know you could go to one of the villages nearby, or even have your own shop in the market here. You don’t have to move out of the court…”

You sighed. The two of you have had this conversation multiple times, the outcome always the same: you’re still leaving. “I know, Viviane. And I would stay, if… if everything wouldn’t remind me of her. She’s been my only family for the majority of my life, the reason I lived here, knew you in the first place. I can’t… I can’t see her ghost around every corner, right now.”

“Well… If you ever want to come back, you know we’ll be happy to have you, no matter what. And don’t even think about trying to repay us, I will have Kallias send the gold straight back to you if you do,” Viviane said as she watched you. “And you promise to write to us and let us know when you’re ready for us to visit, yes? Your shop does not even need to be open for us to visit, your company is worth the travel.”

“Yes, Viviane, as soon as I feel settled I’ll write you for a visit.” You had finished packing, your belongings fitting in two leather travel bags. All of your life you had rebuilt in the past six years was now contained to such a tiny space.

You took one last, longing glance around the room that had been your home for the past six years, and the first twenty five of your life as well. So many memories, most of them happy and including your grandmother. Loosing a sigh, you finally turn to Viviane and pick your bags up.

“I’m ready.”

Viviane came to your side and grabbed your arm, and then the two of you were slipping through the fabric of the world, making a few quick stops between the Winter Court and your destination. Your new home.

Velaris, the City of Starlight.

In the five years since the victory against Hybern, the city had been opened to visitors and, in select cases, new citizens. You were lucky enough that Viviane is friends with Morrigan, and that you were employed by and friends with Viviane. She was able to secure you the right to move to the city, and a business license that was cleared pending an interview with Morrigan on your arrival. In less than a minute, the two of you were outside of a cozy looking townhouse, set on a busy residential street and near the river that split the city in two. There was a thin layer of snow covering the ground, and the city looked like a winter wonderland.

Viviane raised her hand to knock, but before she could the door had swung open, revealing a gorgeous blonde woman in a red dress and high heels with a wickedly sharp heel that would most likely cause you to topple over. Her scent, cinnamon and a sweet citrus, was calming, and very clearly alpha.

“Viviane! I’m so glad you could make it!” The blonde, Morrigan you assume, embraces your friend tightly for a few seconds before letting her go and turning to you. “And you must be Y/N! Welcome the Velaris, I do hope the city ends up being what you’re looking for.” Her tone was sweet and excited, and her chocolate brown eyes held such warmth that you couldn’t help but trust her.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Morrigan. Viviane has told me so much about you,” you say as you take her hand in yours for a handshake.

“Oh, call me Mor dear, Morrigan makes me feel like I’m being scolded! Now, come in, we’ll get that pesky little interview out of the way and then we can go take a little tour of the city, maybe find you a place for your bakery.”

The two of you follow her inside, and you’re struck by how… cozy and homey the house was. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, what with your opinions on the Night Court having shifted drastically in the past few years, but this was definitely one of the best outcomes.

Hopefully you would be able to find a space to create as your own, make it feel just as if not more welcoming than this house.

“Sit, sit,” Mor says as she leads the two of you into a sitting room, taking your bags and setting them on the floor next to a couch, before taking a seat on the chair opposite it. Viviane sits on the plush couch, and you follow suit, the lower back of the couch perfect for your wings to rest over. “So Viviane tells me you want to start a business here in Velaris?”

You nod your head in confirmation. “Yes, I would like to open a bakery, if there is availability for a new one in the city.”

Mor smiles, and it’s warm, like sunshine. “I’m sure we can find a suitable place not too close to another bakery or café. Viviane has told me you have experience in the baking field?”

You swallow, a lump suddenly in your throat. You’d known this would come up, it was inevitable, after all. “Yes. I was the head baker Under the Mountain for thirty years, after my grandmother had irritated Amarantha one too many times. I was her pastry sous chef assistant for the twenty years before that as well, and I started baking at six years old.”

“And how old are you now?” Mor asked.

“I am 81, currently,” you answered quickly. “I hope that isn’t an issue?”

“Oh, no, no,” Mor shook her head. “I am sorry to hear that you were forced to work for Amarantha for so much of your life. I do hope that you find working in Velaris to be much more fulfilling, and nicer.”

“I- Are you offering me a business license? Just like that?” You asked incredulously.

“Yes, I am Y/N. Kallias and Viviane have both vouched for you, they believe that you are more than capable of running your own business. And they’ve told me that you take care of the baked goods for all of the High Lord’s household. I trust that you will be successful, based on their testimony alone. Hearing that you worked Under the Mountain, though…” Mor paused. “Knowing that, as well, you will be a fine business owner.”

An invisible weight was lifted off of your shoulders. You are a resident and future business owner of Velaris now. “Thank you, Mor. This opportunity means so much time,” you say gratefully.

“It’s no problem, Y/N. Now, would you like a tour of Velaris and to see where you’ll be staying for the moment?” Mor asked as she stood from her chair.

You followed suit, smoothing the skirt of your dress as you did. “That would be lovely, Mor. Viviane, are you able to join us?”

“No, I should be getting back to Kallias soon, we still have a few winter parties to finish planning and he prefers to have my input,” Viviane replied, following you and Mor out of the townhouse. She stepped toward you for one last hug, holding you tightly in her arms until you pull away. “If you need anything, Y/N, write to me.”

“I will, Viviane. Thank you, for everything.” Tears pricked your eyes, even though you know you’ll see your friend again, likely in the next couple of months. “I’ll write to you even if I don’t need anything, too, keep you updated on my life here, Viv.”

She lets go of your arms, stepping back slightly. “You’d better, Y/N. I want to know all the juicy details, especially if you find an alpha,” Viviane said teasingly. The other omega knew how badly you craved to have an alpha, a love strong enough to tie you together and eventually have a family with them. The sex of the alpha doesn’t matter to you, just that it’s someone who understands you, and values you despite your submissive personality and ‘lesser fae’ status, someone that you love equally.

“I’ll make sure to keep you informed on that front as well, Viv,” Mor chuckled, and you threw a playful glare in her direction. “What? I figure you might like to have a friend here, and I have to warn you, I’m a bit of a gossip.”

Viviane laughed, “‘A bit’ is an understatement, Mor. Take good care of my girl, okay?” Mor nodded, giving Viviane a hug as well before the silver haired female winnowed away.

“We’ll leave you bags in the townhouse for now, I’ll come back and get them later for you once you’re settled in your hotel,” Mor says, taking you by the arm and walking away from the townhouse, leaving you no choice but to follow. She took you first to the Palace of Bone and Salt, a commercial area dedicated to fresh and dried meats, spices, baking goods, along with any cookery and bakeware you could ever need.

There were a few shops already that you were dying to go in to, you’d never had much of a chance to pick out your own pieces of bakeware, let alone enough to stock a bakery. There were so many different options that you wanted to explore, but you knew you could wait to lose yourself in the possibilities until you were alone. Next Mor showed you a few shops, ones for clothing items, bedding, shoes. A bar named Rita’s, which she promises to take you to after you’ve settled. Then her favorite restaurant, a small, cozy placed named after its owner and chef, Sevenda. The heavenly smells coming from the windows were enough to convince you to return for takeout later tonight, even without Mor’s enthusiastic recommendation.

And then you were in the Palace of Thread and Jewels. A section of town dedicated entirely to fabrics in every shade of every color imaginable, huge tables covered in glittering gems, an amount of wealth you had never seen displayed so casually before. People were milling about, and you tucked your wings as close to your back as you could manage, not wanting strangers to brush against them any more than necessary.

There were a few shops dedicated solely to custom gowns, their displays filled with gorgeous dresses decorated with intricate embroidery and small gemstones that shined like the stars. You had never before considered wearing such fine clothing, but now you wanted to feel the slip of the fabric over your body, experience how it feels to be dressed like a princess.

Someday. Someday I will save enough money, and buy a beautiful gown, all by myself, you promised yourself as you let Mor lead you across a bridge on the Sidra to the next Palace.

This one was the Palace of Flame and Steel, a district reserved for weaponry, armor, building materials and tools, as well as a few competing construction guilds. Mor guided you to one of them, apparently the one that the High Lord and Lady had trusted to build their new home next to the Sidra.

“Ah, Marcus, I would like for you to meet Y/N,” Mor said, and Marcus extended his hand to you. His scent was soft, pine trees and fallen snow- an alpha. You take it, noticing his strong but gentle grip. Your shoulders relax slightly, wings spreading slightly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” Marcus said in a friendly voice.

“The same to you, Marcus,” you reply, a slight dusting of pink on your cheeks. He is rather handsome, for a High Fae.

“She will more than likely be needing your services, Marcus. Y/N here is planning to open a bakery somewhere in town in the next couple of months,” Mor informed him with a bright smile, one that he flashed back at her, and then turns it toward you. Your breath catches slightly in your throat, and you instinctively smile back at him.

“That sounds nice, I always enjoy a new place to eat at,” He said, still grinning at you.

“Well, once I’m up and running you’ll be more than welcome to drop in whenever you want.”

“I’ll look forward to that day, Y/N. Come back once you know where you’d like to build or renovate, and we can draw up some plans together, okay?”

You nod your head in agreement. “I’ll make sure to do that, Marcus. Thank you.”

“Yes, thank you Marcus,” Mor said as she led you out of the shop and back towards the Sidra. Once you were a few buildings down, she asked, “So, do you think he’s cute?”

Your face flushed, and you managed to push out an “I suppose…”

“He’s pretty niiice,” Mor sings, still tugging you along the road next to the Sidra. “And he doesn’t have an omega.”

You shake your head at Mor. “I know Viviane mentioned me finding an alpha, but that’s not really my goal at the moment Mor. And I can also find my own alphas,” You say lightly, tugging on her arm as you did. “Also, you move fast, already trying to set me up.” Mor laughed at that, and you giggle a bit as well as the two of you continue walking, passing cute houses and apartments as you do.

“Well, you’re possibly the cutest single omega in the city at the moment, and Marcus truly is a kind male. And you needed to meet him anyways, for any building needs related to your bakery.” Mor stopped in her tracks, holding you in place by your arm. “This, is the Rainbow,” Mor announces to you.

You gaze around, taking in the colorful buildings that housed everything from painting studios to dance halls. You spied quite a few art supply stores and pottery shops as well, everything so beautiful that your eyes couldn’t choose just one place to land.

Mor draws you further in to the artistic section of town, walking more slowly than any other area you’d gone through today, and you had your wings tucked in tight behind you to avoid brushing against the other fae. Your eyes catch finally on a beautiful painting, one of a cosmic green light fall in the night sky, and you stop moving, taking in every brush stroke on the canvas as quickly as you could. It took your breath away, it was such a magnificent rending of something you could only wish to witness.

“Ah, that is the High Lady’s rendition of Starfall this year,” Mor tells you once she saw where your eyes had locked onto. “Feyre is a magnificent artist, she even hosts classes whenever she has the time, if you’re interested.”

You tear your eyes from the painting to look at Mor. “Oh, I don’t think I’d be any good, really. The most my artistic skills stretch beyond baking is for sketches of my baking,” you laughed, turning to continue your tour once more. “And I’d like to get the bakery up and running before I do many extracurriculars.”

“That makes sense, I suppose, but it’s a good thing to keep in mind. Feyre lets me sneak wine in, so even if my painting turns out terrible, I still have a great time.” The two of you were near the end of the colorful street when you spotted it.

The perfect location, right next to the river and on the edge of the Rainbow was a small one story building, a for sale sign in the window. The building looked decrepit, nearly ready to fall down in your opinion.

You pulled Mor in the direction of it, and let go of her arm to walk around the back of the building.

The view was absolutely lovely, the noise of the river soothing to your ears. You stretched out your wings as you closed your eyes and just listened for a moment, ignoring the noise of the people behind you. Snow was covering the open space behind the building, mostly untouched compared to the streets you had been walking on with Mor.

“Would I be able to buy this lot?” You asked Mor as you spun to face her. “This feels like the perfect place- and there aren’t any other cafés in the Rainbow, as far as I could tell.”

“Of course, Y/N. This building just went up for sale, as well, the previous owner retired a couple of weeks ago.”

You smile at Mor, your eyes sparkling brightly. “Just my luck, then. Do you know about how long it would be for the sale to go through?”

“It should take no more than a few days, Auric seemed very ready to get rid of the place. I’ll set up a meeting for the two of you later today, and if it’s not too late I’ll swing by your room and let you know when it will be. But for now, let’s finish out the tour, then I’ll take you to your hotel,” Mor suggested, holding out an arm.

You grab it once more, allowing her to take you to the last Palace in the city- the Palace of Hoof and Leaf, dedicated to more meats, as well fish, fruits, and vegetables. There were stalls with vendors cooking street food, bowls of noodles and burritos that all smelled delicious- you would definitely be coming back here to try something from each and every fae.

While you were well acquainted with nearly every type of baked good and dessert, different styles of cooking were something you hadn’t been exposed to very often before being trapped Under the Mountain. And while there, you were lucky to get anything besides the imperfect bread you would make.

And after all those years, you had just wanted to taste something familiar, so you stuck with the Winter Court fare you had as a child for the past six years.

But now, smelling everything here and Sevenda’s restaurant? You wanted nothing more than to taste every type of food that you could. Perhaps you would even think of new pastries in the process.

Soon enough, the two of you were back at the townhouse you had arrived in front of with Viviane. Mor popped inside quickly, returning with your bags. She passed one to you as she said “Now that you’ve seen the main parts of Velaris, it’s time to get you to your hotel room so you can relax a bit, settle in some.”

You both crossed the Sidra again, right as snow began to fall. You looked around, taking in the sight of glistening snow, your favorite weather in the world, falling onto the beautiful city that you could now call your own.

“It’s beautiful,” you blurted out without thinking. “Does Velaris suit every season so well?”

Mor looked at you from the corner of her eye, also taking in the scenery. “Yes, it does. I have found every city I’ve visited in Prythian to be beautiful in its own right, but Velaris seems to capture the beauty of every season the best. Of course, I am terribly biased, being from the Night Court and all,” Mor laughed.

She stopped in front of a large building, several floors tall with two balconies on each facing the Sidra. Mor opened the ornately carved wooden door, the words The Sidra Inn engraved on it, revealing a warmly decorated lobby. Behind the reception desk was a slim, bark skinned fae.

“Hello, Mor, it’s good to see you,” the female- a beta- said, extending a hand, which Mor shook readily. Then her eyes turned to you. “And you must be Y/N, our newest resident.” You nod your head in confirmation. “My name is Druana, I’m the owner of this quaint little inn.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Druana.” You take her hand as well, fascinated by the texture of her bark skin. “From what I’ve seen so far, your inn feels like home. It’s very warm, inviting.”

The fae smiles at you. “Thank you, Y/N. If you’re ready, I’ll show you to your room.” You look to Mor, who hands you your second bag.

“I’ll see you in a couple of hours, Y/N. And if I don’t come by then, I’ll send a letter telling you what time I’ve arranged for you to meet with Auric. Do you want me to bring anything for you when I do come? Any food, clothing, nesting materials?”

Heat creeps up your neck at the last idea. “No, Mor, thank you though. I should be fine, for now. I’ll see you in a bit,” you said, parting ways with the friendly blonde.

Druana led you up a set of stairs and in front of a room on the second floor. She handed you a set of keys, then walked back the way you had come.

You turned the key in the lock, and opened the door to your new home for the foreseeable future. It was spacious, containing a large bed set against the left wall, a dresser, wardrobe, a circular table with two chairs on opposite sides, and your own personal bathroom and kitchenette. It was all decorated in cozy fall colors, reds and oranges and browns everywhere, and a fireplace against the right wall. Opposite the door was a set of double doors, likely leading out to one of the balconies you had seen from the street. You dropped your bags on the floor next to the bed, and went to look at the bathroom, it’s door next to the fireplace.

It was lovely, a deep tub that you knew would fill enough so that you could sink entirely beneath the water. There was also a large counter with two sinks, a large mirror hung above it on the wall. And of course, a toilet that looked suitable enough.

You returned to the bedroom, walking over to the set of doors and pushing them open.

On the street, you hadn’t been able to see the padded rocking chair and small table, but now that you had, you knew you would be reading in it, protected from most of the snow by the small roof covering the patio.

You went back inside, grabbing a romance novel that you had picked up a couple of months ago, but had never gotten around to reading. You also pulled a blanket from the bed.

Being from the Winter Court had given you a mild immunity to freezing weather, it was much more comfortable to sit covered in a blanket.

Before you went back on the balcony, your eyes snagged on the kitchenette- already laying out were a few boxes of tea. You placed the book and blanket on the bed and walked over to the counter.

You looked through the flavors before deciding on a basic green tea. In a few minutes you had brewed a large mug for yourself, and took it and your book and blanket onto the balcony.

You snuggled down into the chair, careful to position your wings so they weren’t squished or pinched anywhere. The blanket came next, and you wrapped it around your legs and dress as much as you could, then over your right arm.

With your left, you spread the book open, happily diving in to the story about childhood friends slowly growing to love each other romantically.

Friendship before love- that could be nice, you thought to yourself as you read, sipping your tea and looking out over the beautiful view of Velaris in front of you.

And now, most likely, you would be able to meet people who didn’t already know you as the tortured omega baker slaving away for Amarantha to keep her grandmother and Court as safe as possible.

Now, people would know you as the omega baker from the Winter Court, hopefully with a cozy bakery and the best pastries that they’ve ever had.

You lost yourself in the book, hoping the entire time that you would find a love to last you forever.

[onlyangel4]

desperate times call for desperate measures. toto wolff.

sugar daddy! toto wolff x reader

you are a struggling artist trying to live instead of just spending every moment worrying about money. toto wolff is the lonliest rich man in the world, when you find each other you are exactly what the other needs.

warnings- 18+, cursing, discussions of financial struggles. sugar daddy relationship. age gap relationship ( reader is around twenty five) there will be a lot of smut in the following parts of this fic. toto in love with someone he hasn’t met. male masturbation. smut. for this toto has been divorced for three years.

part two

your life wasn’t at the point that you hoped it would be by now. art was your biggest passion in the entire world, it was something that you loved and you were incredibly good at, but it was also so difficult to make a break through in the art space. you painted whenever you were inspired but those paintings crowded a storage unit that was worth half your monthly rent. your financials were in the bin, and you were furiously budgeting just to make sure you could afford everything that you needed. this was not living. your friends were constantly going on nights out but you had to say no time and time again just because you knew you would not be able to afford it. you were missing out on so much fun and it was driving you fucking insane.

you were embarrassed by your financial situation, the only person who knew about how much you were struggling was your best friend, anna. anna was the least judgemental person on planet earth, you knew that you were safe to rant to her about everything going on in your life, she didn’t have much more money than you but she did get to go on the trips that you missed out on.

“you know what you need?”, anna mused sat on the bed of your tiny apartment her frame threatening fall off at any moment, “you need a sugar daddy, lou has one and he buys her all sort of shit”, anna spoke and you just rolled your eyes at such an out there suggestion.

“come on anna, those things are just scams”, you spoke and anna was quick to shake her head.

“no, they are legit, lou showed me the app she uses. seeking arrangements, it is all legit. i swear if I wasn’t with tom i would have downloaded it already”, she was actually being serious.

you were going to come back with some snarky comeback for your best friend but you quickly noticed that the phone in her hands was yours and not hers.

“what are you doing with my phone?”

“i am doing you a favour y/n, this could really help you out”

you pondered her words for a moment, the last time you had seen lou she was decked out in all knew jewellery and she was wearing one of the nicest dresses you had ever laid eyes on. maybe this whole thing had worked out well for her. It could be worth a try.

“okay, but make sure you pick my best pictures”

the rest of that night was spent drinking wine and setting up your seeking arrangements profile together. there were was a good mix of photos on the profile starting with one of you on the beach from two years ago, the last time you could afford a holiday, you were dressed in a striking red one piece and anna swore that you looked like someone out of baywatch. one of you and your beloved black cat, liquorice. one with you next to the last painting you had sold, three months ago, the last time you had been truly proud of yourself. then there were a couple of filler pictures of you and your friends because anna decided that any sugar daddies needed to know that you had people that loved you, just in case they were planning on harming you, a comment that made your eyes roll. once the profile was set up you and anna both fell asleep, anna in your bed and you on the floor in a sleeping bag, because your couch was from a charity shop and probably the most uncomfortable thing to sleep on.

the following week your profile had gotten a little bit of attention from different people but never anyone that properly took your interest. all the first messages were either mentioning how good your tits looked in that one piece or they were guys proper showing off how much money they had something that did not interest you at all.  however, eight days into your profile being up you had gotten one message much more interesting than all the others, “that painting in your third picture looks familiar is that ares del maestrat?” now that message had taken you by surprise. one, because so far in all of the messages you had received no one had actually mentioned your art. and two, he was right, it was ares del maestrat, a place in spain that you happened to stumble upon on your last visit to the country, an area that you had found so stunning you knew you needed to paint it as soon as you got home.

“you are right! It is a gorgeous area, i found it by accident a couple years back, i wish i could visit it again”, you text him back.

“it is beautiful, i visit spain every year, i try to make time in my schedule to go every single year”, oh so this man was RICH rich.

you continued to text the man behind the kind messages about your work for the entire following week. you were quick to learn that his name was toto, his profile was under peter but that was only because he wanted to keep it somewhat private that he had a profile on the app because his career was in the public eye. Once he felt comfortable with you he began telling you what his job entailed, he was a team principle for an f1 team. you told him that you did not really know what that meant because you had never even seen a race. he explained to you his role and you couldn’t help but find the fact that he was so high up in such a career incredibly attractive, you were enjoying talking to him.

toto had downloaded the app due to a mix of loneliness and pure curiosity. He had been single for a few years now and he was getting fed up of both falling asleep and then waking up alone. he had heard about seeking arrangements and after doing a little bit of research on the app he had decided that maybe he did want to be a sugar daddy. he just wanted someone to spoil, someone that he could spend time with. and the idea of helping someone that was struggling with money was also something that interested him, it seemed like a pretty good exchange to him.

one issue though, toto found out that he was incredibly picky when it came to finding someone on the app. he was forever picking holes in all the profiles that he saw, some people had “don’t message me unless you will drop a hundred grand on me”, in their profiles which he just found tacky and others just did not seem like they had much substance behind them. but then he found you. each one of your photos was embellished by a genuine smile on your lips. and he couldn’t help but be taken aback by a picture of you with a painting of his favourite place in spain, now that had to be a sign. that is how you ended up being the first person that toto messaged on the entire app.

he had not been expecting to get on with you as much as he did. he educated you on all things to do with f1 while you sent him multiple voice messages about painting and your creative process. he was so interested you and listening to you go on about how passionate you were about art was something that toto could do forever. you were special and he was going to treat you as such.

after the first week of talking you sent him your number, citing that it was much easier to use that rather than text on the app. And after a couple days of having your number toto called you out of the blue. he spoke to you like you were long lost friends, there was no awkwardness at all. just the two of you talking about your days. you called every day always at the same time and after a week those calls turned into facetimes and toto was sure that he would never get bored of seeing your face flash up on his screen. you became the favourite part of his day. he actually began secretly purchasing your paintings, going through art dealers. making sure that his identity was hidden. every time you sold a painting you sent him a picture of you with the painting and he was so happy to see your smiling face, knowing that he was the reason for it made his heart swell with pride.

you were actually the first one to bring up meeting but you were too much of a pussy to do it over the phone, “so mister f1, when would you be free to meet in person, i like talking to you :)”, you had text him and as soon as toto saw that message his heart started hammering in his chest.

“well we have summer break starting next week, i can fly to London and we can meet there”, he had text back, making you smile brightly.

“i’ll see you then”

“darling, send me your address, i will send a car to pick you up”, you did as you were told, this man way only want you to provide company for him but you felt a need to oblige him. from your messages and times spent calling him you had learnt that he had a very dominant presence, one that never failed to make you go weak at the knees.

your message could not have come at a better time, you were driving toto mad with all your cute pictures and messages but toto had realised that he really needed to see you the moment he found himself with his fist around his cock, one hand looking through the pictures that were on your profile coupled with a few pictures that you had sent him privately when he asked to see more pictures that you had. he was rubbing his cock thinking about a girl that he had never met, a girl that just wanted a sugar daddy but he could not help it, something about you just made him moan your name as his chest heaved up and down, head tilting back slightly. And as he came onto his bed sheets he made a promise to himself. he was going to treat you so good you would not be able to find a reason to leave. and that was the night that you text him about meeting, it was like you could read his mind.

[grxmreaperx]

Hi!!

I just read your Mark Hoffman fic and I loved it!! Would you be willing to write something with Hoffman being a little obsessed with the reader? any further plot is totally up to you, I just need more Hoffman fics. 😩 Angst, fluff, smut (if you’re okay with that of course!)?

God, I love this request!! I’m all for men being obsessed in fics. And there’s no way I can answer this request and NOT write my first Hoffman smut (👀)

Also, you’ve all been so sweet and lovely ahhh I’m so glad I made this blog!!

You Belong to Me

Pairing: Mark Hoffman x reader (reader is AFAB)

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: 18+!! Smut!! Kinda went off with this ngl. I had way too much fun with this. Mark being very dominant and obsessed with the reader. Praise and degradation kink. Hair pulling, spanking, cream pie. Mark being very possessive. Oral sex (m! receiving), fingering (f! receiving), p in v penetration. Every ounce of feminism left my body writing this.

Summary: Upon John’s request, you’ve been working as Mark’s secretary at the precinct in order to keep you off the list of suspects in the search for Jigsaw’s accomplice. Did Mark really expect you to not take this golden opportunity to mess with him? As much as he appreciates the tight pencil skirts you’ve started wearing to work, he does not appreciate the attention it is drawing from his coworkers.

You were driving him absolutely insane. He wasn’t sure whether to bash John’s skull in or worship him like Amanda does for placing you here. He already had a hard enough time focusing on stake outs and working on traps with you, and now you were here. In his place of work, where he was supposed to be professional, supposed to pretend he had never seen you before you had your “interview.”

Mark knew exactly what you were doing. Your first day you walked in here, friendly smile on your pretty face, pencil skirt glued to your legs, staring right at him.

“Good morning, Detective Hoffman.”

God, he was going to kill John.

He hadn’t exactly had time for a sex life since everything went down. His sister’s death, planning Seth Baxter’s fate, joining Jigsaw, all on top of his detective work. And it hadn’t really bothered him; he had more important things to think about.

Until John decided you’d be a perfect addition to the team.

---

You knew your plan was working exactly how you wanted.

John hadn’t tested him yet, so why shouldn’t you? The detective needed to be tested, didn’t he?

You saw how he stared at you when you walked into work each morning, spending the time before your shift picking out the perfect outfit that you knew would drive the man mad.

You had decided months ago that you tired of the tension, the pull you felt towards the man every night you spent working together. And now John, bless his soul, had given you the perfect opportunity to do something about it.

You had seen some of the other men at the station watching you, eyes hovering a bit too long on your legs and ass. It didn’t bother you much, you ignored them for the most part, they weren’t your test subject, they weren’t your detective, so you hardly even noticed.

But, oh, did Mark notice. He noticed every fucking time. And every time was a new test of his willpower. Every single time, all he could think about was what sort of trap he could devise that would be worthy of the pigs who dared look at you.

---

“How you doing today, honey?” You turned around in your chair and saw Henry Miller, one of the cops that was most persistent with you. You were friendly with him; he was nice enough. The only problem was he thought he had a shot with you.

“Morning, Henry. I’m doing alright, how are you today?”

“I’d be a lot better if you finally let me take you out tonight.”

You scoffed. “How many times do I need to tell you I’m not interested before it finally gets through?”

He leaned on your desk, hands resting on the table, staring intently at you from across the surface. “Cmon, baby. Just one dinner, that’s all I ask. I’m very persistent.”

“Miller, isn’t there something you’re supposed to be doing?” You recognized the deep voice instantly and had to stop yourself from grinning. This was perfect.

The smile dropped from Henry’s face when he saw Hoffman staring daggers at him. He looked like a deer in the headlights, a child that had been caught stealing candy.

“Yes, sir,” he muttered, before quickly making his way back to his desk.

“And you,” he started, eyes on you. “In my office.”

You flashed him your best smile. “Of course, Detective.”

----

“Sit down.”

You sat down in the chair across from him, trying to scope out the look on his face. His jaw was tense and shoulders tight. He looked like he was about to explode.

“What the fuck was that?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sir.”

He sucked in a breath. “Bullshit.” He stood up, slowly making his way around the table. “You walk in here every day, in your tight little skirts, giving me that proud little smile, and you’re going to sit here and act like you don’t know exactly what you’re doing? I don’t think so, sweetheart.” He placed on a hand on each armrest, eyes boring down into you. “Now, let’s try again, shall we? What the fuck was that?”

Bingo.

You smiled up at him. “I just want to look nice for you, Detective.”

He shook his head and gritted his teeth. “Oh, you wanna look pretty for me, is that it?” You nod. “You know what would make you look real pretty? Get on your fucking knees.”

Embarrassingly quick, you sink out of the chair and onto your knees, staring up at the man. He smirks.

“Well? You just gonna stare at me? Don’t act like you don’t know what to do.”

You reach up and slowly get to work on his belt, trying to act like you still have some sort of control. Not that you minded, but it was still nice to pretend.

All resolve left you went he wrapped a hand in your hair, pulling back until your chin was pointed up at him. “Don’t do that. You’ve teased me enough. Now it’s your turn.”

You pulled down his pants just enough to reach his dick. You sucked in a breath. You had some idea of what you were in for, but fuck.

You tried to tease him a bit more, you really did, but as soon as you heard the deep groan when you took him into your mouth, you were done for.

His hand in your hair guided you, bobbing your head on his dick, feeling it hit the back of your throat each time. Each tug on your hair, each time you felt the tip of his dick down your throat, you felt a spark go straight between your legs. You looked up at him through thick eyelashes, eyes slightly teary, spit spilling over your lips.

“God, I knew it. You do look very pretty like this, sweetheart.”

You were slightly disappointed when he finally pulled your head back, dick soaked with your spit. “Get up.”

You shakily got to your feet, suddenly aware of how much of a mess you must be. His eyes roamed over your body, examining you from head to toe.

“Go on, sweetheart. Bend over the desk for me.”

You quickly complied, bending over the front his desk, legs slightly spread. You felt him behind you, placing his hands on your hips before landing a hard smack on your ass. His hands pushed up skirt, pooling it around your waist and exposing you to him. He ran a finger over your underwear, pressing lightly on your clit, before landing another blow.

“Such a little slut, aren’t you? Already soaked for me. Have you enjoyed acting like a brat?” Another smack. “I asked you a question.”

“Yes,” you said softly.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Much better.” He pushed your underwear aside, running a finger through your folds. You felt your hips push back, trying to get more. More of anything, more of him. He pulled his hand away, running it over your thighs. “So desperate, aren’t you? You know exactly what you’ve been doing to me, teasing me, acting like a brat. Why should I touch you?”

“Please, sir, I’m sorry. I just wanted – “

“Wanted what? Wanted me to fuck you?”

“Yes,” you breathed. You felt him slide one finger in, quickly followed by a second. You bit your lip, suddenly aware of where you were and who was outside this office.

“So, you thought you’d make me jealous, hm?” he asked, fingers slowly pumping in and out of you. You nodded, rolling your hips against his fingers. As soon as he felt your movement, he pulled his fingers away. A whimper left your lips.

“Why should I make you feel good, when you’ve done nothing but tease me for months?”

“Please, sir. I need it.”

“Louder.”

“But- “

“I said louder.”

“Please, sir, please, fuck.”

He slid into you all at once, not giving you any time to adjust to his size. You let out a loud moan, before clamping a hand over your mouth, hoping to God no one heard you.

His hand found its way to your hair, pulling you toward him, back arching. You felt his lips right next to your ear as he finally moved his hips, pulling almost completely out before pounding back in. “No, no, baby. You want to tease me, make me jealous, let these cops flirt with you? You’re gonna let this whole fucking office know who you belong to.”

He set a rapid pace, hips snapping against yours. You felt your eyes roll back in your head, legs unsteady.

Mark groaned in your ear. “God, do you have any idea how many times I’ve thought about this pussy? How many times I’ve thought about bending you over and ruining you? Do you have any fucking idea what you’ve done to me? You’re all I fucking think about anymore.”

You let out a loud moan, no longer caring who heard you two. “God, fuck.”

“Cmon baby, tell me who you belong to.”

“You, sir.”

“Louder.” His long, hard strokes made your legs weak.

“I belong to you, sir! I’m all yours!”

“Good girl.” His other hand reached around your front, fingers quickly finding your clit and drawing quick circles around it. “Now, let everyone out there know that I’m the only one that gets to make you cum.”

Your legs shook and you knew if it weren’t for his arms holding you up, you wouldn’t be able to stand. Your mind was blank, forgetting everything but his words and the feeling of his cock filling you.

Your vision went white as your orgasm washed over you, the room filled with sounds of you moaning his name and his skin slapping against yours. You felt his pace falter slightly, his breath hot on your ear as he emptied himself inside you.

You stayed like that for a moment, both trying to catch your breath, before he finally pulled out of you and slid your skirt down.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about doing that,” he said, breathless, as he pulled his pants back up.

You let out a soft laugh. “Me too.” You start to grab a tissue from the box on his desk to clean yourself up before he grabbed your wrist. He spun you around to face him, face inches from yours.

“I don’t think so, sweetheart. I want everyone to know that you’re mine. And I want to see you try and hold yourself together with my cum dripping down your thighs.” He gave you a smirk before letting go of your wrist, making his way back to his chair, and continuing his work as if nothing had happened.

He couldn’t help but smile to himself as you tried to make yourself look somewhat presentable.

Maybe your plan worked a bit too well.

---

Let me know if you guys like this!! I've been thinking about doing a NSFW alphabet with our lovely detective, let me know if you guys would be interested 👀

[buddierecs]

established relationship buddie fics

all explicit rating - 18+ only!!!! make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

take my hand and don't you ever let go by: sourwolfseblaine "buck takes care of eddie when he starts acting differently after a close call." word count: 4.2k important tags: angst, emotional hurt/comfort, soft!buddie, comfort sex, gentle sex, blow jobs, top!evan buckley, bottom!eddie diaz, anal sex, marriage proposal middle of the night (series) by: tawaifieddiediaz "buck and eddie take advantage of an empty house." word count: 15k important tags: Switch!buddie, shameless smut, anal sex, sex toys, rimming, praise kink, multiple orgasms, aftercare eat, praise, love by: brewrosemilk "in which eddie teaches himself to voice his desires without shame." word count: 109k important tags: porn with feelings, fluff, praise kink, degradation kink, rough sek, semi-public sex, impact play, future fic blue eyes and bare walls by: underhung_aura "buck and eddie are newlyweds and looking to paint their new bedroom. what ensues is the butting of heads, some arguing of both the fun and not fun variety, and desperate paint-filled sex on the floor." word count: 45k important tags: future fic, fluff, intimacy, married!buddie, hand jobs, frottage, spink kink, marking, pet names, praise kink, feminization ours to keep by: brewrosemilk "buck and eddie pass their single, shared brain-cell back and forth, trying to keep their relationship a secret." word count: 8.9k important tags: secret relationship, porn with feelings, fluff, blow jobs we don't need to play games like these (you won me long ago) by: withmeornotatall "five times buck was turned on by eddie's complete lack of rizz and the one time he realised what his new kink was for" word count: 10k important tags: 5+1 things, fluff, smut, developing relationship, roleplay, idiots in love

ever after by: elvensorceress "sweet morning sex after their first night together because they are so in love and soft for each other." word count: 7.8k important tags: morning sex, soft!buddie, boys in love, anal sex, oral sex, barebacking, top!eddie diaz, bottom!evan buckley, making love honey hold my hand, you like making me wait for it by: siblysleaves "buck and eddie spend a week on opposite shifts and then have very sappy sex about it" word count: 4.2k important tags: porn with feelings, morning sex, phone sex back in your arms where i belong by: smilingbuckley "after having spent a month in el paso helping taking care of abuela, eddie goes back home to his family and has a tearful reunion with the love of his life." word count: 2.6k important tags: emotional sex, tenderness, anal sex, top!eddie diaz, bottom!evan buckley, comfort, cuddling, sleepy kisses a phone call in late december by: brewrosemilk “i’m so fucking cold without you,” he admits, then - and he’s not only speaking metaphorically; the snow storm is raging outside, screaming around the corners of the house; the room is drafty, and somehow despite the sweat gathering at the base of his spine and his neck - he feels cold. He wants eddie. that’s all he wants. “me too,” eddie hums, though - immediately soothing the anxiety. “never again. never again, I promise,” he sighs." word count: 4.3k important tags: secret relationship, phone sex, fluff and smut, boys in love

general audience established relationship fics mature rating established relationships fics

[jinkookspencil]

one to seven | jjk

you're finally ready to get intimate with your boyfriend one day... but it quickly turns into seven...

pairing: jk x chubby reader (f)

words: ~6.3k

tags and description: fluff but suggestive 18+ (read note) / established relationship but it’s early on in the relationship / i hope this is clear in the fic but it’s divided into seven days and the first bit before ‘one’ takes place during the seventh day, then it goes back to one (the first day) and leads up to that beginning (seven) / probably could be considered slice of life but yn does go through some sort of change/arc since yn is insecure.... at first / one-shot / obviously inspired by seven by jungkook / as requested by this anon! tysm for requesting!!

note on the rating and label: i labelled this suggestive, but it’s really all about sex (since it’s inspired by seven) and yn’s relationship with sex, especially in relation to jungkook / with that all said, i wouldn’t consider this smut because even though it’s all about sex, it doesn’t really go into them actually doing it and describing sex in graphic detail. that is what i stopped writing. this fic has more of the build up and the ‘after’ - the time surrounding the actual sex. i think this is as ‘nsfw’ as i’m willing to go. it alludes to many different aspects of sex though (yn is having fun).

author’s note: these past few days, i’ve been quite down. jungkook made me smile more than people i know and needed in real life, so i’m always thankful to him, but i’m also very thankful to the community on here and the anon who requested. writing this kept my mind busy on nights that were otherwise heartbreaking and tiresome for me - if i didn't spend those nights writing this, i probably would have cried myself to sleep. so really, thank you. i'm so happy to have this community and the other requests in my inbox to work on and give me joy in the meantime. i needed this, and the fact that i hit a follower milestone on here (1k yay!) while writing this makes it all the more meaningful. thank you guys. i hope you guys enjoy reading this, please let me know what you think <3 💕🌻

The sunlight streaming in beneath the curtains wakes you, interrupting the pitch-black darkness of Jungkook’s bedroom… But your boyfriend’s arm, suddenly wrapping around your naked torso calms your aching body.

Just a week ago, you’d been too shy to be so intimate with your boyfriend. Sure, you’d been together for months, but that’s how long it took for you to finally get comfortable enough - and Jungkook, the angel that he was, waited. Instead of making love, he spent all his time proving his love, kissing you as you liked, praising you, making sure you were always comfortable and always knew what you deserved… as well as how deeply he felt for you. He never rushed, never complained - only pleaded to be kissed and touched in the ways you were comfortable with, never more.

--------

one

It was a regular Monday when everything changed. No sudden, irresistible ‘turn-on’. No sudden urge of sexual desire that overwhelmed your senses. Not even a sexy picture from Jungkook - those he loved to send just because it made him happy to do so (and to receive compliments from you).

But rather, it was a settling feeling of happiness and contentment that did it. A magical ‘you know when you know moment” that shook your entire world and made itself apparent… when he sent you an adorable selfie of himself in a frog hat at work with the caption "prince charming". As expected, he was still wearing said hat when greeted you at his front door with a wide smile and wide arms, and you pull the hat off of him when you tip-toe to kiss him.

This was home.

A hearty meal (that Jungkook prepared himself) later, you stop the movie you’re watching and move to touch your boyfriend’s cheek. “I kinda really wanna make out with you, Koo.” He wastes no time and your lips are interlocked in seconds. You place Jungkook’s hesitant hand above your waist, guiding his fingers to the hooks of your bra, but he moves it swiftly to tug at your neckline and kiss you on your shoulder, where you’d just begun allowing him to kiss.

“I hope I’m loving you right, baby,” he whispers onto your skin, pecking it once more.

The words broke your heart. Of course, he was loving you ‘right’. His efforts did not go unappreciated or unseen, especially after years of heartbreak and boys who saw you as nothing but 'beautiful on the inside,' fetishes, momentary and secretive pleasures, or simply not a girl worth sticking around for. Jungkook, on the other hand, was almost hard to tame. He praised you constantly, but never just your appearance and never just in private. Early on, it seemed that neither of you was into PDA, but soon enough Jungkook was mindlessly touching, kissing, and holding you in public - and you found out that you actually loved it. You loved him.

“You’re loving me right, Jeon Jungkook,” you whisper back into his hair to reassure him, and you feel him smile against you.

“You deserve the world. You’re my world,” he says, breaking away to look at you and cup your cheeks, only for you to pull him closer once more, and he yelps when you return his hand where you’d wanted it. “Cheeky!”

“Jungkook, I’m ready. I'm ready to...,” you announce in a blurt, placing your hand on his chest.

“What? Hun, if this is about what I said, I didn’t mean-“ he panics.

“I knew I was ready before you’d even opened up your beautiful mouth, Koo. I saw the frog hat, and I just knew."

“Do you have a ‘thing for frogs’? Is that what did it? You’re teasing me, aren’t you?” he giggles. “Very funny. Let’s just kiss-"

“I want this, Jungkook. I want you. I’m scared… but I want you.”

Immediately, his eyebrows furrow, and he’s staring at your lips attentively. “What are you scared of, my angel?”

You’re unable to look at your boyfriend anymore, hanging your head low. “I'm afraid that you won’t like my body. I wouldn't have taken this decision if I didn't know for certain that you found me beautiful but... I'm still scared. Because what if you change your mind? I waited until I knew I wanted to be with you fucking forever, and… if you change your mind about me -”

Jungkook pokes his cheek with his tongue - and it’s so attractive but so damn nerve-wracking that you’re unable to complete your thought, the deep-rooted fear inside your head, and your voice trails off.

He breaks away, cupping your cheeks. “Look at me,” he says. When you muster up the courage to do so, he is already staring into your eyes. “I could never change my mind about you. What did I say, hmm? You’re my fucking world, and I already want that forever too.” He plants a soft kiss on the edge of your lips before continuing. “I know saying 'don't be scared' might not calm your nerves, but I mean it if that's what you're afraid of. I've felt your body, love. I've seen you a million different times and I think you're gorgeous every single time. I never said this to you before because I never wanted to pressure you, and I want to, you know, love you right, which is respectfully and the way you deserve, but baby… I’ve wanted to see... kiss your body for ages. Do you know how many times I’ve dreamt about this? About seeing you? About making love with you? I want you - in every single way possible.”

"You've been so patient, and I know it must've been hard... I'm sorry, Koo," you mumble, tears forming at your waterline as you take a deep breath.

“Don’t be, my angel,” he whispers, pulling you in for a hug and kissing your forehead. “I want you even if sex was entirely off the table because I want you.

When you first told me about everything, it's clear you went through a ton of shit you didn't deserve. It makes me so furious but I’m glad you know what you deserve. Someone who listens to you, who makes you feel comfortable and safe, and loves you. I’m trying to be that guy because you’re the girl worth waiting for, baby. The girl worth a thousand, million universes rather than this world alone…. and I love you more than anything.”

He kisses you, deeply and truly, more passionately than he’d ever done - and you know you meant your words as well.

“I love you more than you can imagine, and I said what I said too… I- I want..you, Jungkook. I’m ready,” you say, leaning in with your breath ghosting his lips.

“Are you su-“

“I’m sure, Koo…. I’m wearing lingerie under these clothes,” you whisper with a giggle that he echos.

“Oh, my love….” Jungkook says fondly, inching closer towards you to kiss you once, then staring into your eyes as he pulls you into a hug and moves a hand to rest where you’d wanted it before holding your hand with the other, kissing your knuckles as he led you into the bedroom. But he quickly lets go. In a flash, Jungkook hurriedly dashes around his room, muttering to himself while lighting every candle he owns. “I need to make this romantic - my girl deserves ultimate romance! If I’d have known I would’ve gone all out, I would’ve… I don’t know what I would’ve done other than jack myself off beforehand at the thought of it finally happening, but - fuck, Jungkook, what are you saying? No, it’s good you didn’t tell me beforehand. God, you’re so hot for being spontaneous.”

Jungkook ends his panicked monologue entirely relaxed and only an inch away from you, his demeanor transformed, and your endeared giggles stop at the scene of it all becoming very real.

“Stop me whenever you want me to,” he whispers, caressing your face.

You nod with a smile as you sit back on his bed, taking a deep breath when Jungkook hovers over you and helps lift your dress over your head, leaving you in the new silky lingerie set you’d bought.

It was hard to ignore the excitement on Jungkook's face, of which he made no effort to hide. “My beautiful girl,” he says, taking in the sight of you before finally looking at your face once again and pressing his lips against yours, undoubtedly feeling the rush of your heartbeat with your chest against his and his fingers at your neck.

“Let me ease your mind,” he whispers, letting his hands wander to your hips, gripping them as he lowers himself until he is face to face with your waist. He was steady in his pace, still not rushing while he kissed your waist and up and down your torso with careful touches…. despite the fact that he soon tore your new lingerie into pieces.

--------

two

Jungkook wakes up beside you the same way he’d made love to you both times the previous night: slowly and gently. Vanilla, just like the scent you inhale on the arm he wraps around you, but passionate and caring in a way that proved your feelings about him, and his towards you. Just what you needed.

The love and care he showed you that morning, from the sudden morning fuck session to the following hours twisted in bedsheets grazing each other's skin, and the soothing, soapy shower you took together, were among the most blissful moments in your entire life. Refreshed and giddy, you meet Jungkook in his kitchen in just your bra and one of his oversized tees - the most naked or revealing you'd been in front of him, save for the night before and the morning you'd spent together…. There probably was no need to cover up anymore, you happily thought… until he seemed to notice your stretch marks.

“Next time, we’re keeping the lights on. How’d I not notice these last night? Or in the shower?” he asks curiously, pausing while plating your meal just to see the lines at your hips.

“You were probably too mesmerized by my beautiful eyes,” you joke, ruffling his hair as he bent down to inspect your marks.

“Way more than just your eyes, baby,” he giggled. “Do you have them anywhere else? I think I see some on your thighs.”

“Yeah and on my stomach too. They’re all over,” you say, showing him, before finally dropping the question on the tip of your tongue. “Are they… a turn-off?”

“A turn-off? Not in the slightest. Why would they be?” he questions curiously.

“People don’t usually like em,” you say, grabbing Jungkook’s arm. “My skin isn’t ‘picture perfect.”

“It’d be boring if it is. Mine isn’t. Look at the arm you’re holding, babe. I added tattoos so my skin wouldn’t be picture-perfect, baby. Except your markings are entirely your own, and hey, the way they look like roots? It’s almost poetic, isn’t it? Wow.”

You kiss his lips immediately, tasting the berries he’d whipped up into your smoothies - but the breakfast was quickly forgotten. Jungkook places you onto the kitchen counter instead, tracing and kissing every mark on your body so lovingly with the daylight shining onto you…. and you’d discovered that Jungkook ate everything with passion and furrowed brows.

--------

three

Though you’d been spending days with Jungkook already, Wednesday was the day you had a planned date - one that was actually outside, after the back-to-back days spent intertwined all around his apartment.

A knock was at your door just as you were putting on the final touches to your outfit - a dainty set of gold jewelry - and you were still fiddling with the earring when you answered.

Jungkook showed up at your place to pick you up, dressed in a grey, collared shirt with a striped tank top underneath - adorable enough to drive you crazy - but more importantly, he’d shown up with a heartwarming bouquet of sunflowers in one hand and a picnic basket in the other - but he drops both at the sight of you.

“Oh baby,” are the first words Jungkook says, rushing in to pull you into a kiss. “Can we forget about the picnic? This… this is my fantasy.” His finger skim over the cotton fabric at your hips, scrunching up the fabric over your thighs.

“It’s forgotten,” you reply, letting his hand wander. “Tell me all your fantasies, Kook.”

“You, my dream girl. You’re my fantasy….. and fucking said dream girl - you - in a sundress… oof. This was… This always was….”

A laugh escapes you and a feeling of comfort floods your senses, seeing marvel on Jungkook’s face as he studied the floral dress that lay on your body. Neither of you bothered to move about the apartment for a while, kissing, touching, and more then and there behind the front door, until Jungkook pulled his hand from within your underwear to tug the dress off your body, revealing your sheer slip underneath.

“No fucking way,” he sighs, placing his hand behind you, fingers digging into your plush thighs and swiftly lifting you in his hands. With Jungkook still kissing your clavicle and ignoring your fearful, pleased shrieks, you have no choice but to comply, wrapping your legs around him and edging closer to his body, giggling as Jungkook rushes to the couch.

“Ride me? Ride me in this, pretty?” he pleads, kissing your neck once more before already leaning back.

“I’m scared, my love. What if I crush you?” you say, skimming his abs.

“Oh, wait - there’s another fantasy,” he proclaims with a smirk. “I’ll be fine. If you’ve crushed exes in the past, I’m actually jealous. though they probably weren’t strong enough.”

“No one ever wanted me on top, JK… but I guess you're strong enough since no one ever carried me like that before.”

“Fucking weak ass idiots. I don’t want to think about that now. I want you on top of me… in this pretty little dress that lets me see… everything,” he gasps, cupping your breast over the fabric before quickly adding, ”…if you’re okay with it.”

“Tell me if I hurt you,” you say as you help undress him.

“You could never.”

+

You could never forget the whimpers and the laughs you’d heard from Jungkook that evening, both when you’d asked him the same question. “Am I doing okay?” in the heat of the moment, was met with an ineligible whimper you’d heard for the very first time from Jungkook, who could only respond as such for minutes.

“Fuck, yes, you— you’re doing so good, baby,” he let out, continuously praising you afterwards, even until you asked the question again.

“Was that okay?” you ask him breathlessly when it was all over. He burst into a laugh, and if he hadn’t held onto your body so tightly, you’d have thought he was laughing at you.

“Okay? OKAY?! Honey…,” he starts, placing soft kisses on your skin as he talks. “Let me explain…This angle was… the way I could see you... your body...… and what you were doing to me. Oh, what did you do to me?! The way you wrapped around me, the way you rode… It was just right. And the fact that it’s your first time in that position? Then you pinned me down and I lost myself, I really did. You’re not a mortal human. You’re a witch. Some sex witch. That’s what you are - and you took my soul pleasuring me like that. No… no human woman could ever ride that way… that well. I’ve never felt that good… ever.”

Finally reassured, you wrap your arm around his tattooed one. “My spell worked! I’m glad you felt so good, baby.”

Jungkook sits upright, holding your hand. “Wait, did you feel okay? How was it for you?”

At that, you grab one of your nearby pillows to cover half your face, your shyness returning merely to answer his question honestly. “Jungkook… I know you’re big, but I’ve never felt you that deep before.”

“And? Does it hurt?” he asks with wide, concerned eyes that briefly trail down your sweaty body and how the fabric clung onto it even more.

“A bit,” you admit, throwing the pillow aside. “But it was… very good and very fun once I got over the scare and saw that you seemed to be enjoying yourself, playing with my tummy and tits and all, lifting me up a little too….” You trace his arms, hesitantly finishing the rest of your thought. “And then your hands stayed at my hips and ass. Albeit I missed the beginning, but god, was it heavenly - with your moans and the way you looked so helpless, in awe... pleased... because of me…. I kinda liked seeing you under me then, I liked having that….,” you pause, holding Jungkook’s face in your hands. “To have that control over you. To see you moan like that because of me. It was fun, baby. I wanna ride you again.”

“Yeah?” he asks, laughing again, and even harder when you nod eagerly.

“Oh, baby… You’re in for way more fun than you ever imagined.”

--------

four

Jungkook reluctantly left your apartment the next day and kept his promise to return by bedtime. But when he shows up at your door at midnight, entirely devoid of color, you’re concerned.

“I know I look like shit, and I do feel like shit, but I’m okay,” he says instantly, quickly explaining that because he’d been spending his days and nights with you, he’d barely had time to go to the gym, so he’d crammed in an intense session before the planned picnic the day before and spent hours boxing after leaving you that next morning.

“Couldn’t you have told them you’re doing enough cardio with me?” you joke, poking his arm, but Jungkook winces through his smile and grazes where you’d touched him - this was the most he’d do to admit that he was so sore.

You wrap your arms around your boyfriend to envelope him in a tight hug, and he does the same, squeezing your soft body and letting out a moan as he does so. “This feels so good. So cozy.”

“Then it’s just cuddles for you today, baby,” you say, rubbing his back and tapping his ass gently. “I’ll go change out of all this lingerie I’m wearing underneath.”

“No, no, no,” Jungkook pouts, shaking his head, nudged in the crook of your neck, as he begins to tug at the hem of your shirt. “My body is still strong, I promise. You proved that you’re not a mere mortal - I’m the same! I won’t let my physical human-appearing body stop me - wait, don’t learn this lesson from me, by the way. You have to tell me whenever you’re in pain, okay?”

“Okay,” you groan.

“Are you still in pain, actually? From all the riding?” Jungkook says teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows, with his hand softly resting on your stomach.

"Yeah, a little - especially this morning. But it’s like my body craves you so much that it basically got over it by nightfall… that doesn’t mean you’re not sore, though, Koo.”

“Please, baby,” he protests, kissing you. “I want you. It’ll help me forget the pain…. Do you really have lingerie under there?”

You allow Jungkook to pull up your top to see your breasts, held just right in pink lace.

“Fucking hell,” he says, rushing to take your top off when you let it drop over your body. “Please tell me you’re down to fuck.”

“Jungkook!” you yelp, pushing your boyfriend’s ticklish fingers aside until you’re able to hold his hands. “You’re in pain, and you’ve been making me feel better all week, baby… Let me do the same for you, hmm? Please?”

Jungkook cocks his brow as a reflex but doesn’t move. He lets you caress his face and kiss him deeply before leading him into the bedroom. He doesn’t say anything beyond quiet gasps of amazement when you begin undressing, down to your lingerie, nor does he say anything when you take off his clothes for him and push him onto the bed...until you let your hand skim down his torso...

“I can fuck, I promise,” Jungkook says in a panic. “Fuck… Are you su…?”

Looking up, you see anticipation in his eyes, his gaze flickering between himself and your salivated lips. You’ve never done this to him before. Surely, he’d been wanting it, and still, he never rushed you… It’s best you hurry up to it.

“Shut up, Jungkook,” you say. “Let me swallow your damn pride.”

--------

five

It was no lie you’d blushed often after your first night together - merely days ago - and though you’d had each other a number of times since, Jungkook kissed every inch of your face every time it flushed in the slightest. It was only natural for you to do the same to him when he spent the entire morning after your fourth night together flustered.

“You told me not to be shy, and now you’re going all red?” you giggle, kissing your boyfriend’s red ear.

“I can’t help it,” he says, touching where you’d kissed him. “My girlfriend is a fucking sex witch… Wh-where did you learn to do that?”

“The noises you made were a pretty good indication of how you like it,“ you say, letting your hand trail down his chest.

“…God you sound so fucking cocky right now, and it’s turning me on even more”, he groans, his hand resting over yours but letting you lead the way rather than guiding it himself.

“So…. you liked it, huh? Me taking control a little?”

“A little? Hun….” he trails off, so you kiss his forehead. “Can you….”  He fiddles with his fingers and his face flushes again, so you kiss his lips. “Aish....” he giggles, trapping your arms to finish his sentence in peace. “Baby, can you…. Can you boss me around again tonight?”

“You want me to dominate you?” you ask, taken aback.

A wide smirk appears on Jungkook’s face.

+

Such a request proved to be a night for your classic black lace lingerie set, with matching robe and dark lipstick… but Jungkook smiles too innocently when you enter the dimly lit bedroom, looking as such.

“I can’t be all bossy if you look at me like that, Koo.”

“I can’t change my round face and round eyes, baby… but then again, I thought you couldn’t switch up your ‘sweet, innocent girl’ persona until yesterday,” he smiles.

You roll your eyes. “Keep saying more things like that. That’ll make it easier to dominate you. I’m not so innocent, you know?”

“Oh, I know. I was there last night.”

“I have no idea how to go about this,” you admit, shoulders dropping in front of your boyfriend. “Tell me what to do.”

“No - you tell me what to do. Boss me around a little. No ‘please’. No pet names for now. Just commands. Tell me exactly what you want. What you want me to touch. What you want me to do What you want me to say. I'll help, and the instructions will help me please you just the way you like it in the future.”

“And if you get uncomfortable?”

“We have the safe word.”

A final kiss and nod of reassurance give you all you need to go on.

Trying it out, you manhandle your incredibly strong boyfriend until his arm wraps around your waist, his left hand resting just where you wanted it at your hip, while you guide the other hand to your heat. Already, you’re electrified by the control and decide to prolong this for as much as possible…. Might as well have some fun...

“First things first….” You say, backing away to lie on the bed and gently pushing Jungkook off when he follows, so he still stands in front of you, waiting. “Strip. To that song from your Calvin Klein ad.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

+

Jungkook was a smartass. He clearly didn’t mind being bossed around for a little - the ‘clear instructions’ did help him, and he seemed to be enjoying every minute of it, as he’d claimed - but when you’d tapped out from it all at dawn, there was not only amusement behind the smile on his face, but pride as well.

“That’s my girl,” he said, kissing your hand when you were both ready to pass out. “Oh, I worship you.”

The little brat knew the effect it’d have on you, and you didn’t wait until the next morning to call him out on it.

“Did you want me to take control because you thought it’d make me more confident?” you ask while Jungkook cleans you up, and he smiles at your question.

“If you feel that way, it’s all you, baby,” Jungkook says, kissing your body. “Is that how you feel?”

“I feel… powerful,” you admit.

A moan promptly escapes Jungkook at your words, and his kisses grow hungrier, finally meeting your lips and letting out another noise when you tug at his lips. Jungkook only breaks away to look into your eyes and sigh in adoration before kissing you once more.

--------

six

The night made you feel like a whole new woman. And you were ready for more, too, feeling the urge to grab Jungkook the moment you wake up…. but you soon realize you had his bed to yourself. Seeing the messy sheets and his hairbrush tossed onto the mattress, you briefly recall being nudged awake at noon and him muttering some words about a sudden work meeting. A Post-It note tacked onto the bedside table backed up the fact with a short message in Jungkook’s handwriting.

“Baby - Got called into the company. I’ll be there til 7 at least. Text me when you’re awake. I love you.”

Washing up didn’t do anything to wash away the urge to have Jungkook once more - if anything, it only prolonged your steaming shower. Wrapped up in a robe with nothing to do in your boyfriend’s apartment on a quiet Saturday, you get an idea.

Risque pictures were never something you’ve done before, and an hour passes by the time you’re comfortable with the ones you’ve taken. Looking through your camera roll, you weave through and delete awkward photos until you were left with a variety of shots that left you surprised by how hot you’d looked, whether you were entirely bare or with the lingerie you’d worn the night prior.

Though it’d been the afternoon and a long while since you’d woken up, you send the photos to Jungkook.

you🌻 [5:01pm]: “good morning baby :)” (5 attachments)

A text arrives a minute later.

jk💕💫 [5:06pm]: “Oh fuck.”

jk💕 💫[5:09pm]: “what have i done”

jk💕💫 [5:09pm]: “what have YOU done”

you🌻 [5:13pm]: “well besides take the photos, i took a very, very long, very hot shower… since you’re not here. hope you’re having fun at work xx”

No texts arrive while you lounge around the apartment in one of Jungkook’s T-shirts, reveling in the image of him being hot and bothered for you during some meeting … but close to an hour later, you hear the familiar beeps of the keypad at Jungkook’s front door.

Your boyfriend storms through the door with furrowed brows and a stern look, his jacket thrown aside and his shirt already off of him and discarded by the door. Somehow, he manages to squiggle out of his trousers on his way to you, and he’s naked save for his boxers by the time he gets to you on the couch - which all took mere seconds.

“Jungkook!” you squeal with joy when he lunges at you, biting your neck and quickly taking off the t-shirt you were wearing. His bites resume at your clavicle and above your chest, which he aggressively holds in his hands, tutting at the fact that you hadn’t worn any underwear or a bra underneath it. But his fingers move to the small of your back, forcefully pushing your hips upwards and towards him while he wedges his leg between your thighs.

“Brat,” he whispers. “Missed me, huh?”

“You’re one to talk. What happened to staying til 7?” you quickly ask.

“Fuck that,” he says, continuing to kiss you, but soon you’re unable to let go of a nagging worry.

“Baby,” you stop him, placing your hands on his bare shoulders. “I don’t want the boys to hate me. I don’t want to be the reason you’re missing work.”

“You’re saying this now? After you sent me the sluttiest photos I’ve ever seen in my life? While knowing I was at work? And right before the fucking we were going to do because of said photos?” Jungkook asks with raised brows, but you feel his shoulders slouch, and he squeezes between his eyebrows before his hands stroke your arms.

“Baby, it’s fine. I guess I have something to say about it, too. Taehyung hyung…… fuck… he accidentally saw the photos. I was so distracted and obviously aroused by your nudes that I just stared into my phone for a damn while. He was sitting right beside me and peeked. Since I gave him an earful for not looking away until I caught him, he’s apologizing by covering for me. I’m sorry he ever saw it, baby. And for what it’s worth, they all told me they love you already - apparently, I’ve never been so giddy. They can’t wait to meet you, honey….So even though it’s unfortunate that he saw it… at least we get to fuck, mm?”

Smiling, you hold Jungkook’s hands in yours and kiss him quickly. “So… Taehyung didn’t look away, huh?”

Jungkook’s jaw drops, and for the first time in your relationship, he looks genuinely irritated. “And why do you care?”

“I like knowing I’m sexy, boo,” you say, leaning back on your hands. Jungkook seemed to be just as you expected and hoped him to be - the jealous type. “Aren’t you proud to have such a hot girlfriend? One the guys are so jealous of?”

Jungkook’s eyes turn feral, and suddenly, he lunges at you with the same hunger he’d met you with earlier. His lovebites on your neck and shoulders are sure to leave very visible marks, and you couldn’t be happier.

Suddenly, he whips his head up, his nose brushing yours, while his fingers wrap around your neck, grazing over where his mouth had been.

“Listen to me, brat,” he says, obviously resisting the smirk that appears on his face when he catches your knowing, anticipating glare. “I think I let you have too much fun, hmm?”

You nod, slowly, and his fingers tighten around your neck while his other hand finds your chin.

“Don’t you ever forget: I’m yours.”

+

The both of you try to catch your breath, and Jungkook realizes that tears are streaming down your face before you do. His behavior stops at once.

“Baby? Baby, what happened? Did it hurt? Was I too much? I’m sorry,” he says with a croak in his voice, kissing your wet cheeks.

Your angel - though minutes ago, it seemed as though Jungkook had transformed into your own personal sex demon, torturing you with endless, repetitive, fiery bouts of pleasure. It felt too good - why were you crying?

“Jungkook, no,” you let out, catching your breath. “No, it was… electric. Can you cry from feeling too good?”

He lets out a sigh of relief as he wraps his arm around your sweaty waist. “I’ve read once that it can happen to some people, yeah. I’m just glad to know you’re okay.”

“Angry sex hits different I guess,” you say. peeking at Jungkook through your periphery. His eyes seem to be wet too.

“I still haven’t forgotten what you said, you know?” he says, bringing his leg up to wrap around your thighs in a cuddle. “Are you really happy that Tae saw your photos? You want him to think you’re hot? Do you think he's hot?”

“I don’t care at all, my love,” you say, softly scratching Jungkook’s scalp and seeking his gaze. “I just had an urge. To fuck or be fucked angrily - but the thing is, you never get angry. I figured jealousy might do the trick, but… it was childish, and I didn’t mean what I said in the slightest - so I’m sorry.” Jungkook remains silent, tracing the marks on your stomach in thought, so you go on.

“You fuck me passionately enough, Koo - too passionately, even - if that’s what you’re wondering. I guess what I said is only half the truth. I knew it might work because I get jealous over you, too, you know? I get angry. Sure, it’s rare nowadays since you’re always there for me and make my world happier and calmer…. but I guess I buried my anger and jealousy, how pent up I can sometimes get seeing other girls - models, idols, staff, fans… everyone - they ogle you and visibly want you for themselves… and I won some cosmic lottery because you’re you and you’re mine! Naturally, I get worried. Jealous.”

He takes a deep breath, and you quickly whisper an afterthought. “I hoped you felt the same way about me. That I’m yours.”

Jungkook sits up, grazing your hair now, before placing a soft kiss on your forehead…. and flicking it right afterward. “My beautiful idiot - and I will only call you an idiot this one time because you’re acting like one! Did you miss the part where I gave Taehyung an earful? I know he respects me, and he respects you, but I still got jealous that he even saw it. I rushed here, so hot and bothered and ready to fuck because of the photos but also because of that anger. I wanted to fuck my beautiful girl. You know how you say you love it when I wrap my arm around you in public - I do that all the time since you said it, but do you know the first time I did it was because a guy wouldn’t stop staring at you? It’s happened far too many times.”

“I was probably too happy to have your arm around me to notice,” you whisper.

“Maybe, baby. Exactly, actually. Baby, you need to look at me when you see those girls you mentioned because if you do, you’ll see what they see: someone so ridiculously in love already. I never took notice because ever since I met you… every other girl ceased to exist in my eyes. The only one I see is my beautiful smartass witch who has taken over my brain and magically transfigured herself into my whole world.” You chuckle, but he goes on. “My love, I can’t tell you not to get jealous. God knows I can’t stop myself, either. But if there’s one thing in the world you shouldn’t worry about, it’s me thinking of anyone else.”

“Neither should you, Koo,” you say, holding onto him.

“I’m yours… and you’re mine.”

“I’m yours, and you’re mine,” you repeat, tears streaming down your face once more.

And once again, Jungkook kisses your tears away before kissing you more deeply, and you discover make-up sex to be more passionate than angry sex.

--------

seven

The sunlight streaming in beneath the curtains wakes you, interrupting the pitch-black darkness of Jungkook’s bedroom… your boyfriend's arm wraps around you, pulling you tightly against his body in his sleep. You remain that way, happily pressed against him and breathing to the magically rhythmic beat of Jungkook’s snoring and mumbling. A feeling of sleepiness returns as you close your eyes with your mind drifting away in your feelings of contentment… so much so that you don’t notice that his snoring has stopped.

“I think I met you in another life,” he whispers.

Sharply exhaling at the most romantic words you’d heard your entire life, you face Jungkook, brushing away the hair on his face, and to your shock, he opens his eyes widely.

“Oh, baby. I didn’t realize you were up,” he mumbles, with his face flushing.

“I think so too,” you say back, instantly kissing your boyfriend and suddenly bear-hugging him underneath the covers. Ready to fall asleep once again, you rest your head on Jungkook’s shoulder while he moans, happy as ever to lay underneath the weight of you…. but you soon pull away to confirm your suspicion. He is excited.

“Oh, Jungkook, baby…. With the week we’ve had…. I’m exhausted,” you admit while still clinging onto him tighter.

“It’s not a week yet, baby,” he moans, his hand finding the small of your back. “I’ll take it slow.”

“You’re lucky it’s Sunday, and that we have the whole day to ourselves, you little sex demon,” you say, grazing up his chest until your fingers find his nape and you’re able to pull him in for a sleepy, sloppy kiss and mindless touches.

“Let’s sleep in.”

[tightjeansjavi]

⟡ sentiments n’ bubbly ⟡

A/N: so, this one another one of my post shower thoughts that has now transformed into this little fic 🥹 this time of the year is a struggle for myself and for others, and I hope it can bring us all a bit of peace before the new year 🤍

~word count: 4.5k~

pairing | Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: it’s NYE and you find yourself in Joel Miller’s coffee shop. He’s a firm believer that no one deserves to spend New Year’s Eve alone.

Warnings: angst, fluff, no age gap, discussions of self image issues, bullying, food/eating, language, anxiety, fear of social situations, fomo, mentions of therapy, NYE blues, self deprecating thoughts, flirting, meet-cute, no outbreak/modern day AU, Sarah and Tommy exist in this universe, soft!joel, mentions of alcohol, reader has no physical descriptions such as body type or skin color, some content included may be triggering for some as Joel and the reader have some very real conversations about life. +18 minors dni!

It’s New Year's Eve. The official last day of the year. A whole 365 days has come and gone, and yet, you find yourself feeling the same way you did last year. It wasn’t like you had a particularly terrible life or anything of the sorts, but you still had your struggles. Your daily contemplations over whether you were doing enough, being enough in your little life. You try to focus on all the good that happened in those 365 days of life.

All the laughter, smiles, the warm fuzzy feelings that you found yourself chasing more often than none. The bad times always find their way to trickle in and weasel into your conscience like an infection. The truth is that you know life comes with both good and bad memories. But why is it so hard to push back the bad? Why is it so easy to beat yourself down? You could have done this better, you shouldn’t have said the things you said, did you remember to turn your out of office on before you left the office?

Shit. There was that one email I didn’t get to.

Maybe you find yourself trying to cram in as many last minute tasks before the new year. Closet clean out? You haven’t worn that sweater in months..yet, you find yourself holding onto it because it was a gift from a dear friend, and you don’t want to unintentionally hurt their feelings by donating or regifting it.

Fridge clean out? Well, it does say that horseradish never expires..but you can never be too careful!

Clean your living space from top to bottom? Maybe next year you’ll invest in cleaner products for both the earth and your brain cells. Bleach can be awfully nasty to deal with.

Your phone buzzes on the coffee table in front of you. Leftovers are your meal of choice for the evening. You spent hours cleaning your kitchen, and you’d rather not have to do another wipe down till tomorrow.

Hey, are you sure you don’t want to come out with us tonight? We’re leaving in an hour!

It's not that you don’t want to go out with your friends, it’s the steps before getting out the door that have always been a struggle for you.

What if my outfit doesn’t look the way I planned it out in my head?

What if I completely botch this makeup look?

What if the club is too packed?

You hate feeling this way, often thinking you’re a burden to your friends because you're constantly planning ahead of time. Living in the moment for you has always been tough. A gray area that sometimes you have found yourself making peace with, and other times you just wish you could be different.

You reach for your phone while you’re already mentally planning the steps in order to get ready in time. Being late is never an option, even when it’s just a fun night out in town.

Hey, I thought it over and I’d love to come out with you guys :) see you soon!

You send the text in a flash before tossing your half eaten slice of pizza onto the coffee table and rush to your room.

You tear up every inch of your closet looking for the perfect outfit. It's New Year’s Eve after all, and you want to be shimmering like a grand disco ball.

The outfit is on, and you look great! It turned out even better than you pictured it in your head. But the longer you stare in the mirror.

Fuck. Can’t I just turn my brain off for one night? Please?

And there it is, again. That gnawing little voice inside your head that pops up, gleaming and waving its hand just in case you forgot that it existed.

You aren’t actually going to wear that..are you?

It looks all wrong.

And you’re going to be freezing—

Your friends are going to look 10x better than you—

“ENOUGH!” You shout to no one in particular before you stomp off to the bathroom.

After taking a deep breath, you pull out your array of makeup from one of the bathroom drawers. Pinterest becomes your best friend again while you scroll to find a makeup look that screams you.

Bold. Glittery. Too much glitter?

There is never such a thing as too much glitter. You remind that little voice inside of your head.

Even with your ‘going out playlist’ on full blast, you feel your confidence begin to shrink and diminish as you stare at your painted face in the mirror. It’s not exactly like the picture you found on Pinterest, but there’s no time for you to change it now.

Your phone buzzes again, and this time it’s your friends sending you a group picture of all of them pregaming in their glittery outfits and bright smiles. You heart the message before typing back,

Wow, you guys look amazing! Please don’t be mad, I’m just not feeling up for it tonight. I hope you guys have a blast and stay safe! :)

Your friends understand, because they know that this has always been a struggle for you. A sore spot that hasn’t exactly quite healed the way you wish it had. It’s hard to dig yourself out of a hole that you dug, but you're grateful that they have always been so understanding.

No worries, we love you, and Happy New Year!

And all you feel is guilt.

But instead of wallowing away in your apartment, you grab your coat, purse and keys before making the final decision to go out.

You find yourself outside of a coffee shop just down the block from your apartment. You passed by it everyday during your commute to work, but you never found yourself going in, until now.

The coffee shop is found to be empty as most people are already out to dinner or at a party. It’s somewhat comforting that it’s just you and the lone barista who hadn’t heard you come in yet. His back is turned to you while he wipes down one of the counters, humming to himself as he moves about.

You're immediately drawn into how cozy everything feels. From the decor to the crackling fireplace to the soft music playing through the speakers.

The man turns then, towel gently grasped in his hand when he finally registers that he’s no longer alone. He takes in your attire, finding it odd that someone all dressed up for the evening found themselves here. Then he remembered how his daughter told him it’s rude to judge strangers because you never know what the next person is going through.

He smiles warmly instead. “Hey there, I was uh—jus’ about to close up for the evenin’ but can I get you anythin?’” He’s got a face that you already know you’re going to have a hard time forgetting. Strong built frame, yet soft in all the right places and despite his exterior appearing to be hardened, he seems friendly enough.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I hadn’t noticed that you were closing up for the night..I don’t want to keep you here. I can always come back another time?”

He detects the way your face slightly begins to fall as he lightly taps his fingers along the counter top he just finished wiping down. “S’alright. I forgot to change the sign out front so that’s all on me. So, what can I get ya? It’s on the house.” He gestured to the menu board above his head.

You hesitated for a moment as you didn’t want to inconvenience this man who probably had his own New Year’s Eve plans to get to. “Are you..sure? I really don’t mind coming back another day.”

“S’alright, I promise. I don’t have anywhere important I need to be anyway.” He said with a slight shrug.

“No fun New Year's Eve plans? And I’ll take a cappuccino, please.” You stepped closer to the counter as you reached into your purse for your wallet.

“Nah. ‘Supposed to meet my brother at a bar nearby for a couple drinks, but he can wait a little longer.” He was already reaching his hand out to stop you from pulling out your wallet, when your eyes met his.

“For the tip.” You said with a smile while placing a couple five dollar bills into the tip jar.

“Oh, thank you. ‘Awfully kind of ya.” He responds softly, out of surprise because most people never bothered to tip. He might even be blushing a little..but he can’t really tell. Maybe it was just the steam from the espresso machine.

“It’s no problem. Gotta support small businesses, y’know?”

He nods in understanding. “Yeah, it’s the least people can do. Anyway, I’ll get that Cappuccino goin’ for ya. Feel free to sit wherever.” He gestured to the empty tables.

The table closest to the fireplace ended up being the one you ultimately chose. It happened to also be his favorite spot as well, go figure.

On any other occasion, Joel would call the customer's name once their drink was ready, but given the current circumstances..and the fact that he hadn’t asked for your name, bringing the coffee to you was perfectly acceptable.

“Here’s that Cappuccino for ya.” His voice drawled above you as he set the mug down in front of you. “Let me know if I can getcha anythin’ else. I’ll just be in the back finishin’ up with the cleanin.’”

“Thank you..” you start to say before realizing that you don’t know this man’s name either.

“Joel.” He clears his throat. “My name is Joel, and you are?..”

You tell him your name and he nods with a small smile.

You're left alone to your thoughts as his footsteps disappear behind the countertop once more. You can faintly hear him busying himself and putzing around as your cappuccino begins to cool without you realizing it.

You find yourself vacantly staring through the windows, and the dimly lit streets and passerby’s. You’ve always had a fond love for people watching and imagining what their lives were like. What their jobs and aspirations were. Did they have a family waiting for them? What made them happy? Would they be able to relate to you?

You don’t even hear Joel’s approaching footsteps nearing the table until he’s saying your name with an edge of concern in his voice because you’ve neglected to have a single sip of your cappuccino that has now become room temperature.

Your eyes meet his deep brown warm ones as your own sense of confusion washes over you.

“Is everythin’ alright? You haven’t touched your cappuccino at all..” he’s not offended, nor hurt, but the empath in him is genuinely concerned, even though you’re just a stranger in his coffee shop.

“Oh.” Your voice falls flat. “I’m so sorry, Joel. I guess I got lost in my own thoughts and completely forgot about it.” You feel bad, awful actually because he took the time to make you this drink, and all you had to do was just drink it—

“Hey, it’s alright. I find myself getting lost in my own thoughts as well. But, I can’t have ya drinkin’ a cold Cappuccino. I’ll make you a new one, alright? It’s no trouble at all.” He’s already reaching over to grab the mug.

“Joel, are you sure? You really don’t have to—”

He cuts you off reassuringly, “I insist. I won’t have my customer drinkin’ a cold Cappuccino on my watch. Ain’t no way.”

He disappears back behind the counter before you are able to protest. Joel returns 10 minutes later with two mugs in hand. You listen to the sound of the chair across from you scraping before he slowly sits down.

“I uh—hope you don’t mind me joinin’ ya? You jus’ seem like you could use some company, darlin.’ S’that alright for me to call you darlin?’”

He’s sweet like warm sticky molasses and honey. He actually might be the nicest guy you’ve met in a long long time.

“Oh, I don’t mind at all, Joel. I could actually use the company, and you can call me darling. That’s alright with me too.”

He smiles at you over the rim of his mug that is clasped between his hands. He gently blows on the billowing steam before he takes a small sip. “So, do you have any fun plans for the evenin’? I’m only assumin’ cus’ you’re all dressed up for a night out in town.” He gestures to your glittery getup that sparkles under the warm flames.

“Well, I did have plans to meet up with some friends tonight..but I wasn’t feeling up for it in the end and somehow ended up here.” You said with a sigh before taking a sip of your own Cappuccino. “This is delicious, by the way.”

“How come?..if ya don’t mind me askin?’ And I’m glad you’re enjoyin’ it. Tastes a lot better when it’s hot.”

The last thing you expected tonight was to engage in a conversation about your daily anxieties with this absolutely gorgeous man. Whom you just met, but crazier things have happened before.

“I don’t mind you asking, Joel. I just don’t want to burden you with my troubles or anything. Especially since I think they’re a bit silly and blown out of proportion.” Your eyes casted downwards into the mug.

“Hey, I doubt you can do that, and between you and me? I’ve heard it all. Got a teenage daughter who’s goin’ through all the things that I’m tryin’ to understand..but as a single father, it’s fuckin’ tough sometimes. But I’d be happy to act as a listenin’ ear for ya.” He genuinely means it, too.

“You have a daughter? How old is she? Teenagers can be a handful, that is very true.” You responded thoughtfully while leaning back against the chair.

You watch the way his eyes light up like a Christmas tree when you show a genuine interest in this man’s life. It’s sometimes a rare occurrence to meet a stranger who you feel like you can just immediately open up to without thinking too hard about it.

“She just turned 13 this year. She’s a good kid, super smart. The kinda kid that probably will end up growin’ up and changin’ the world. She’s..well, my world.” He clears his throat and you notice his dimple poking out in his cheek.

As if this man couldn’t become any more attractive.

“Anyway, she’s already goin’ through some friend and boy drama and it’s jus’ a lot to keep up with. Her mom ain’t in the picture either, so it’s not like I can turn to her for any guidance. She went to her first ever school dance this year in a dress that she picked out. The next thing I know, she’s callin’ me up in tears because some kids thought it was okay to make fun of how she looked. I know kids can be mean sometimes, but I wanted to go in there and teach those little shits a lesson myself.”

He was quite the protective father.

“Kids can be real bitches sometimes, Joel. I never quite understood it myself. Especially since I’m sure your daughter was just minding her own business and having a good time? I learned at a very young age that there’s a lot of jealous people in this world that enjoy causing pain in others for no apparent reason.They might have their own struggles, but that is no justification. Those kids that bullied your daughter will hopefully learn from their mistakes sooner rather than later.”

“She was just mindin’ her own and having a great time. She was so excited to wear her dress. It jus’ makes me so goddamn angry because I can’t protect her from everythin’ out there. It’s somethin’ that I’ve really struggled with this year especially. And I’ve tried to talk to my brother about it, but he doesn’t get it either.” Joel said with a sigh. “I’m glad that you can understand all of this though. I don’t really have any female friends to talk to about this stuff either.”

“Most kids grow out of their ‘mean’ phase after highschool. I can admit that I went through a phase similar to that. Made a lot of mistakes that I had to hold myself accountable for. But, with your love and support, I think your daughter is gonna end up being okay. She’s lucky to have you as a dad.” You reassure him.

“Really? You don’t seem like the type of person to ever hurt someone..then again, I ain’t perfect either. Never have been, never will. I’ve had my own regrets as well. But, I appreciate all that you’re sayin.’ S’Nice to be validated every now and then.” He leans forward with his elbows resting along the table and you’re just beginning to notice how broad his shoulders truly are under his faded flannel.

“I don’t think anyone can ever claim to be perfect. We don’t know everything and can make genuine mistakes. But all we can really do is learn from them, make it up to the people we may have hurt, and move forward. I think you’re a really nice person, based on our conversation, Joel.”

“You’re right, darlin.’ No one in this world can claim they are perfect. It's impossible.” His knee brushed yours gently from how close he was leaning in giving you a clear indication that he was actively listening to everything you were saying. “Anyway, I’m sorry I went off on that tangent jus’ now when we were talkin’ about your New Year’s Eve plans.”

“Dammit.” You sighed with a smile tugging on your lips. “I thought you forgot all about that.”

“Nah. I’m pretty good at rememberin’ even if I find myself havin’ to circle back. So, you didn’t feel up to meeting’ your friends tonight?”

“I was going to, truly. But I just got into my head way too much. It started with finding an outfit to wear. I absolutely tore my closet up and I’m really dreading having to clean it up later. Anyway, I’ve got the outfit on, right?”

He nods while taking another sip of his Cappuccino.

“I’m feeling great, and loving the way the outfit looks on me, and then there’s that stupid mean voice inside my brain. You know the one?”

“Ahh yeah. The voice that tells us that we’re unattractive and worthless? Like when we put on our favorite outfit and it’s not fitting quite right, and we know it’s silly to cry over clothes..but sometimes we just can’t help it? And that voice is right there beating us down because sometimes we forget that it’s natural for our bodies to change?”

Damn, he’s good.

“So...you hear that voice sometimes too? I honestly thought I was alone in this feeling. I tend to keep these thoughts to myself because I don’t want to burden others, y’know? I do see a therapist, though. It definitely has helped a lot, but I’m still struggling.”

“Darlin,’ I know exactly where you’re comin’ from. I had these favorite pairs of jeans that I would wear pretty much everyday. Well, just this past month I found that they ain’t fittin’ the way they used to. The zipper wouldn’t budge, and then I spent a good hour tryin’ all the tricks in the book to get those suckers to fit. Well, none of it worked and then I started beatin’ myself up. Sayin’ all the nasty names I could come up with. Then after all of that, I thought about all the delicious meals I had this year and especially these damn ice cream sundaes that my kid is obsessed with. Suddenly, the jeans not fittin’ didn’t bother me as much anymore.”

“Ice cream sundaes are delicious, and even more-so when you are enjoying them with your daughter. I pretty much went through the exact thing that you’re describing. I know that we shouldn’t give into the societal bullshit of looking a certain way to appear more attractive, but it’s just hard sometimes. That’s why I try to cycle through my closet every now and then so I’m not holding onto clothing that doesn’t fit me anymore. Did you end up keeping the jeans?..”

“She’s been requestin’ them for dessert pretty much every night, and I have a hard time tellin’ her no. They are absolutely delicious. It is definitely hard to pass them up sometimes. It’s comforting to know that other people go through the exact same thing that we’ve gone through. I did in fact donate the jeans, and then bought a new pair the same day. Wearin’ ‘em now actually, and I gotta say, I think I look quite good in ‘em if I do say so myself.” He said in a cheeky tone that sent heat rising on your cheeks.

“Well, I think you should stand up, if you feel comfortable doing so, that is, and let’s see what this jeans talk is all about.”

He grins at you, eyebrows playfully dancing while he sets his mug down along the table before pushing his chair back to stand up.

He gives you a little spin, one that neither you were expecting, but you could tell that he was having fun showing off his new denim.

“Okay, respectfully? Those jeans look amazing on you, they are very flattering, Joel.”

He laughs a warm and hearty laugh as his cheeks turn beet red from your words. Even if you’re just playing along, he’s feeling charmed by your presence.

“Really? Y’know, I was thinkin’ the same thing and a’that..but I’m a pretty humble guy.” He said sheepishly.

“Joel, screw being humble. You’re wearing those jeans like they’re made for you! You gotta own that.” You said with a giggle.

“Alright. Alright. If ya say so, darlin.’ I appreciate the compliment, but have ya taken a look at yourself tonight? You’re glitterin’ like a goddamn mirror ball. Gonna blind me with all that sparkle Y’got goin’ on.” He’s flirting, now. He’s absolutely shamelessly flirting with you.

You find yourself leaning forward then, close enough that he can see the pretty shimmer painted on your eyelids and your undeniable flirty smile.

“Joel, are you flirting with me right now?” You’re feeling bold, and curious to know if you were reading the signs correctly, or letting your brain run a muck in theories.

“I am, darlin.’ Is that..alright? Cus’ if it makes you feel uncomfortable, I can stop.”

“No, please continue to flirt away. I’m glad that you’re getting to see my outfit, Joel. I probably have glitter in places where glitter doesn’t belong.” You said with a light, airy laugh.

“You’ll be finding little bits of glitter all over the place well within the next year. Do you have any to spare?” He asked with a warm chuckle.

“Actually..I do have some to spare.” You reached for your purse along the side of the chair and pulled out your tube of glitter eyeshadow that you had brought just in case you needed any touch ups. “May I?”

“Oh, you really weren’t kiddin’ when you said you have some to spare, huh?” He leaned in closer to get a better look. “That’s a really pretty color, darlin.’ You think I can pull that off?”

“I don’t kid when it comes to my glitter, Joel.” You said teasingly. “I absolutely think you can pull this color off. But, I’ll need you to close your eyes so I can apply this more eveningly.”

“Okay, I’m trustin’ you, darlin.’” He slowly closed his eyes then and only flinched a little when he felt the applicator glide across his eyelid. “Sorry, wasn’t it expectin’ to feel that damn cold.” He murmured softly.

“No worries, Joel. It can be a bit ticklish at times.” You scooted your chair in closer to him so both of your knees were tucked in between his as you delicately applied the shimmering shadow. Your tongue was peeking out between your lips as you focused on the task at hand.

He tried to peek his eye open once, before you playfully scolded him and said, no peeking.

To which he grumbled out a response with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Am I pretty yet, darlin?’” He asked with his eyes still shut as you admired your work.

“Very pretty, Joel. Okay, you can go ahead and open them.” You pulled out a little handheld mirror from your purse and held it out for him to admire his appearance.

He opened his eyes, blinking a few times to get used to the feeling before he averted his attention to the mirror you were holding. “Oh, shit. Wow. Y’know what..I actually think I like it.” He looked over at you then before he realized how close you were sitting to him. “Thank you, darlin’ I feel like I’m a mirror ball too.”

“It really brings out your eyes, Joel. They were already pretty before, but now, they’re even more beautiful.”

You were already forgetting about how awful you felt earlier, and the guilty feelings for turning down your friend's offer to go out. It admittedly felt nice to talk to another person that shared more things in common with you than you realized. To be validated, and in turn, validate someone as well? It felt really, really good inside.

“So, now that we’re both glittered up, and it’s two hours till the start of the new year, would you maybe care to join me for a drink? Only if you’re feeling up for it, that is.” Joel asked you with his eyes flickering back to yours. Truthfully, he’s happy that you somehow found yourself in his coffee shop tonight. He can’t remember the last time he’s connected with someone on such a deep and personal level.

“I’d love to get a drink with you, Joel.” You don’t even second guess your answer, and if the feelings come up later, so be it. That little voice inside of your head is nowhere to be found as Joel offers you his arm.

You help him finish closing up for the night before the two of you find yourselves walking arm in arm to the bar that his brother Tommy was at. During your walk, you find yourselves falling back into conversation that flows easy like a steady stream. When you bring up feeling guilty for often being a homebody, he reassures you that wanting to spend a quiet evening with yourself is perfectly normal, and it’s something you shouldn’t feel ashamed of. He goes on to add that if you want to go out more, that’s perfectly okay to do as well. But you should never pressure yourself to go out and have a good time, if that’s truly not what you want to do.

And when you find Joel’s brother at the high top with a glass of bubbly in front of him, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, “Joel, what is that on your face?” He leans in close to inspect the glitter shadow painted on Joel’s eyelids.

You and Joel turn to one another with two knowing smiles plastered on your faces before you laugh in unison, “it’s glitter, of course!”

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[erenjaegerwifee]

Secret Is Out 2 

Request: Can I request a Jake Sully x Neytiri x Human/Avatar reader poly fic? Part 2 to Secert Is Out.

Reader accidentally walks in on Jake and Neytiri having sex. She gets embarrassed and is about to leave but they ask her to join them. Includes - Jake and reader giving into temptation, Jake calling reader baby or babygirl, Neytiri wanting to just watch as her husband pleasures reader, reader being hesitant at first but with Jak's soothing yet dirty words, she finally gives in.

Paring: Jake Sully x Neytiri x Fem!Avatar!Reader

Warnings: MDNI 18+, NSFW, orals (m & f recieving), p in v, switch Jake, switch reader, sub neytiri, threesome, girl x girl, facials, titty playing, face sitting, kissing, cum eating. 

Word Count: 3k

Disclaimer: All my characters are aged-up! If you have and issue with that feel free to scroll and do not interact with my account or any of my posts.

“Hey babygirl how you holding up in here?” Jake asked you as he walked into your marui pod like he lives there. It has been about 6 months since you decided to stay at the reef and life has been better. You are closer to your daughter that ever before and Jake has been feeling a lot like he was when he was your husband. You aren’t sure how to feel about it but it is very nostalgic, you never thought you’d feel that way again.  

“I’m fine Jake you do not have to come every day to ask how I am doing, Kiri isn’t here” Kiri moved in with your shortly after you decided to stay, it was nice finally being a family. Of course, her siblings are still her siblings and they come around often to your marui pod, you have great relationships with all of them. You only really ever see Neytiri when you all eat together. You and Jake, both said it would benefit the children for them to see us getting along after everything that has happened and she agreed. 

She does not hate you, Neytiri is a kind woman, but not one of many words. You've seen her move closer to you whilst eating gradually and now she opts to sit right next to you which is something you did not expect from her. She is beautiful and strong; you do not go out of your way to put yourself in situations with her you still don’t fully know how she feels about you. 

“I know I don’t have to come here every day, but I just want to make sure you're settling in fine.”  

“Jake, I’ve been here for six months, I settled five months ago... why are you really here?” you look up from your weaving basket to his face. “I don’t know babygirl, it’s nice to have you around again, it’s not like we spent much time together after the divorce, I want to make sure you know I am sorry for how it happened, it wasn’t fair to you. I let you deal with an entire pregnancy and birth of our first child alone.”  

“Our first child? Jake she is our only child. And it is not your fault, I choose to keep that from you, we have had this conversation more than a doesn’t times now Jake, it’s not like you don’t know your daughter. You just didn’t know she was yours.” you said to him.  

“Ok real talk, Neytiri thinks you should be more involved in the children's lives. You don’t do much besides sit in here all day, go out enjoy the beach, you always loved the beaches on earth when we would drive down what’s different?” Jake said  

“Jake you aren’t seriously asking me that are you? What's different now is we aren’t together anyone. I want to keep those happy married memories to myself, I stayed to be closer to my daughter, to the children, not to enjoy the fucking scenery” You huffed.  

“Ok maybe that came out wrong, how about you think about it and later in the week we call all go have a nice fun beach day without doing chores, we can have a cook out, like the old times and just relax.” Jake pitched his idea to get you move involved and it just kind of made you mad. Why would you want to do out there and be around him and his new wife and their perfect kids. Not that your daughter isn’t the most special being on this moon. It's the principle.  

“I’ll think about it okay?” You sighed and went back to weaving while Jake took his leave. You knew being here would be hard but you didn’t think it would be this hard. You don’t want to watch the love of your life who is now your ex-husband fall all over another woman. How is that even remoting fair to you? Doesn’t help that she is probably the most gorgeous woman in this entire clan.  

--- 

The next few days went on normally, Jake still stopped by to remind you about beach day. You went shelf searching with Kiri and Tuk, you ate meals as a family every day. You even rode an ilu for the third time since you’ve been at the reef with Neteyam and Lo’ak.  

All in all, it was a good week so you decided to agree to the beach day with Jake, mentally preparing yourself to be unfazed by his love for his new woman. You walk slowly over to this marui pod, it was only a couple doors away from yours. The kids had gone out the metkayina children to explore the reef and would be back by dinner so you had time to speak to Jake and Neytiri about making plans. 

 You expecting them both to be at home because of the giggling you heard before you got there, good sign the marui flap was open so you thought nothing of it when you walked in. However, your eyes were meet with quite the scene, jake was sitting in the corner of the marui pod leaning back against the wall looking down at his wife between his legs as she jerks off his cock. His hands are in her hair holding it up slightly but not a full ponytail. Her tongue darts out to lick the pre cum off his tip and you hear him gasp in sync with yours.  

You feel like you brain lagged when you saw them you didn’t know what to do but you couldn’t stop looking, “What the fuck!” you yell and covered your eyes. You heard them scramble but you don’t move your hands so you aren’t sure what they look like right now. “Y/n! What are you doing here?” Jake asked.  

You peaked through your fingers to see Neytiri sitting on her calves still between Jake’s legs, topless. Jake has his hand cover his dick like you’ve never seen it. You drop your hands and dart your eyes between then. “I came to tell you I want to do the beach day thing...clearly, I came at a bad time. You could have shut the flap no one wants to see this” your eyes kept getting drawn from Jake’s poorly covered cock to Neytiri’s perky tits, you tried to look away but you just couldn’t. “Sorry, we weren’t expecting you to come by, not that we mind...” Neytiri spoke up, sounds like that sentence had a double meaning.  

Only then you clocked the way she looked at you, like she wanted to eat you. Neytiri stood up slowly, her tail swayed as she walked up to you. You couldn’t move a muscle like you were frozen in time, she appeared as if she didn’t care whether or not someone saw her half naked form when she stepped outside directly in front of you. She walked circles around you curling your tail around her hand running her fingers down your back. “What are you doing?” you ask her softly. 

“I am observing you. Ever since I have known you, I have respected you. I can smell you, normal people would walk away from a private moment, not disrupt it. So, what are you doing?” her voice was smooth, calm, as if she knew exactly what you were thinking.  

“Unintentionally disrupting.” Your eyes follow her now as she takes your hand and pull you into the pod, this time closing the flap. She pauses her movements next to you and looks at Jake. You mimic her action looking at him as well. The only two women he has ever loved standing in front of his naked form, he isn’t sure what to do but he knows he wants to do it. “I see the way you look at her, she is not just your ex now ma Jake, she is the mother of one of your children, maybe after this a couple more” Neytiri spoke to him. 

She took your hand guiding you to walk closer to him and you make no move to fight her. “He was yours first, show me how you please him I want to learn.” you look at jake and his eyes darted to his now wife then back to you, he sees your hesitance to join them, but he doesn’t want anything more. You drop to your knees and you feel Neytiri’s hand above your neck untying your top. When it falls to the floor in front of you, you see Jake dart his eyes down to your tits and back up to your face.  

Maybe it was the human genes but your tits were on the bigger side. His eyes dart back down and he licked his lips trapping it between his teeth. “Are you sure about this?” your question is directed to Jake; he is the one you need to know wants you before you put yourself more into this position. Neytiri joined you between Jakes legs and he looked at you both before letting out a breath, “yes babygirl, I want you, remember how much fun we used to have, how much you watched to fuck around every corner, under every tree? I know you want this just as much as we do. I know everything has been tough but let me make it up to you. Your hands swatted his away from his cock and you took it in your hands, you stroked it a couple times before finally saying something.  

“He likes it when you roll your tongue around the tip, pay attention to it, makes him feel good, like this” your tongue darts out and you kitten lick his tip taking the pearls of pre-cum into your mouth.  

You close your lips around him circling your tongue listening to the way he moaned at the feeling of you on him again. Neytiri pulled your hair up into a ponytail and held it on top of your head as you sucked on Jake’s cock. Her other hand moves up and down his thigh as she moved her head under your running her tongue over the length of his cock.  

Jake thought he was gonna lose his mind, he never had two women together before, let alone two women he loves sucking on his cock. You pull your head off looking up at him when you speak again, “He likes it when you suck on his balls too”  

Neytiri wasted no time going down lower to run her tongue on his balls. You crawled up to his face letting hair fall down your back lining your cunt up with the tip of his cock. You were directly over him now but made no move to sink down on him. You let your cunt making his cock wet feeling the way every shift in his position hit your clit.  

“You want me?” You whispered to Jake as you looked him in the eye, “want me to sit down on your cock baby?” your mouth went down to kiss along his neck loving the way he submitted to you so easily. “Y-yea, yea please” he whimpered, making Jake turn into a puddle under you has never been difficult. “Awe, you already know what to do, I don’t have to remind you” you smile into his skin before you pulled back sitting up on your knees.  

You hand come down behind you and pull Neytiri up from Jake’s cock by her hair, her hand flies up to yours as she squeals but quickly pat down and follow your movements. “Lay down” you say to Jake and he waste no time scooting down on his back and watches as you tell Neytiri to sit on his face. Jake thinks he is about to explode and he hasn’t even got his cock in one of you yet.  

He had forgot how good it felt to let go and let you take the lead, Neytiri is a strong woman, but in bed she was a sub through and through. Jake was always in charge of her, not of you. “All your weight sweetheart, he won’t break” you pushed her down by her shoulder and watch as her body slumped forward as his tongue on her clit.  

She looks so pretty when she moans like that, so beautiful, you almost got lost in just watching her get off on his face. One of Jake’s big arms wraps around Neytiri’s thigh and the other comes to look for your hip. You finally allow yourself to sink down on his big cock. It’s been so long since you felt it, the sting of the stretch is amazing. You sit for a second before starting to bounce slowly on his gradually increasing your pace.  

Every time Jake moans into Neytiri she doubles over until you and both only inches away from each other. One of your hands comes to your neck and she pulls you in for a heated kiss. Her tongue rolls around yours making a mess out of both of you. Neytiri comes easily on his cock, rolling her hips until she slides down his chest until she is seated on his abdomen. Her hands come to your waist holding you as you bounce up and down on Jake’s cock. 

Neytiri kisses down your neck to your tits and sucks on the nipple greedily. Your moans become louder and your pace becomes messy as you let go on Jake’s cock. He feels the way you gush wetting his cock inside you. He had to take a second to look away so he doesn’t cum inside you so quickly, he knows he is in for more. When you slow down and stop your pace Neytiri hops off Jake and before you can she speaks, “Ma Jake, please her, I want to watch you please her, like you used to” you look at her still breathing heavily before your eyes switch to Jake.  

“Yes ma’am” he says before he pulls you off his dick and flips you over on all fours. “She likes this position; she used to bend over and take it anywhere you know?” he said to his wife as his hand brushing the skin of your back. Hearing him tell her those things makes you skin hot, your neck feels like it was on fire, you were blushing. Your skin turns purple and she sees it smiling at the sight of you getting flustered.  

You push your ass back into him letting him know you wanted him to stick it in like you always had. Jake chuckled behind you remembering all the different ways and places he fucked you and make you take his cum. His cock slips into you once again, not as painfully as the first time but you still feel the stretch. His cock immediately started hitting you g-spot making you mewl into the air. 

Your head doesn’t take long to drop and Neytiri brushed your hair over your shoulder so she can see your face from neck to you. Her toys with her clit watching the way your brow furrowed and your nose scrunches feeling Jake thrust into you so deeply. “F-fuck Jake” his thrust speed up at your words. He always loved hearing you say his name, loved the way you feel apart on his cock.  

“Feels good babygirl? Taking me so fucking well” he says through gritted teeth. His pace speeds up turning your whimpers in full blown screams, you can’t help it he feels so good inside you, he always knew just how to make you cum. Jake watches the way your ass bounces against his body and he almost loses it. The jiggly of your ass sends him way back to when he first buried his cock on it, to the first time he buried his face in it.  

He would never want you to feel like this is all he loves about you but by Eywa Jake has always loved your ass. The way it moves when you walk, the way it looks when he used to slap it when you would walk by, when you would press it up against him when you slept. Makes him think about fucking you all the time. His hand comes down hard on your ass making you mewl loudly as he rubs the area.  

“Look baby, she’s gonna cum on my cock” he smiles as he feels your walls clamp down on him hard, he always knew how to manipulate your body the way he wanted. You don’t really process the way Neytiri smiles at this, the way she was so pleased Jake did exactly what she thought he would do for you, make you feel good.  

He slows his pace and pulls out of you letting you fall to the side. You lay and watch the way Neytiri smiles and leaps into Jake’s arms as they indulge themselves in a heated kiss. It was one of the hottest things you’ve ever seen him do, and Jake used to do incredibly hot things. He pulls away from her when he sees you sit up on your knees like Neytiri and move closer to them. He pulls you into a heated kiss and he has both his arms wrapped around you both.  

Your hand moves down to stroke his cock that was still hard when you felt Neytiri’s hand too. “You didn’t cum” you whisper against his lips.  

“Oh, I’m about too babygirl” he smiles before he lets you both go standing up on his feet in front of you. Both you and Neytiri look up at him with wide eyes as he begins stroking his cock over your faces. “Tongues out” he demands as he speeds up his pace and cums on your tongues and cheeks, some even landing on your chest. He looked down lovingly at you both as you share sweet kisses tasting his cum on your skin.  

Best thing he ever did was invite you to beach day.  

🪸I hope you all enjoyed reading! This was a fun request to make and I definitely enjoyed it!

🪸Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated

Taglist:

@rivatar @delusionalwh6re @strongheartneteyam @xrollingmyeyesx @m1tsu-ki @teymars @nilahsstuff @pandoraslxna @kylimarz @quicktosimp @its-jennarose @r11k4 @inlovewithpandora @neteyamsoare @miss-kuki-nz @anonymuslydumb @winterhi09 @goofygremlin123 @jakesullyfatjuicypeen

[vinelark]

6 for the ask meme 😎

6. Have you written any fanfictions featuring OCs? If so, elaborate!

oh? is it time? is it time to drop the OCBFEU primer??

in short: yes, last year my friends came up with a whole "what if we invented a boyfriend for jason" "what if we also invented a boyfriend for dick in the same continuity" batfam AU with two (and a half) significant OCs. we write little informal fics for each other about them and my incredibly talented friends draw them and we also have an extended fantasy AU of the boyfriend AU that could fill about three TV seasons of plot so far. i love them. they are constantly rotating in the back of my mind; it's a fun time.

months ago we compiled a document with bios and a rough OC bf timeline (with bonus timkon) and: here it is! (content warning for a (past) emotionally manipulative relationship. also some brief underage drinking.)

Batfamily OCBFEU (OC Boyfriend Extended Universe)

Santi

jason’s OC boyfriend; ship name sanjay

[original santi post] [mammutblog’s santi art tag] [90kon’s santi art tag]

santi, short for santiago

5’7”; has to go up on his tiptoes to kiss jason

line cook by day, taking classes toward his teaching certification by night, also volunteers at an after-school literacy program in park row

gothamite through & through—grew up a few blocks over from jason, though their paths never crossed. has two siblings, an older sister and a younger brother, but is mostly estranged from them after their dad died. money was incredibly tight after that and santi still took odd jobs—including some for the falcones—to help his sister finish med school.

an old soul like jason, aka he’ll use his same phone til it’s a brick and does not understand tiktok despite kids at the program explaining it to him over and over

there’s probably a mildly popular tiktok series one of the kids has of them asking santi questions while santi is in the middle of something at the program, because everyone loves santi and he gives funny answers when he’s distracted

santi does not become a vigilante—he has enough on his plate, he’s (almost) a teacher—but he’s certainly not without his own set of skills. also he talks a very good game and can usually get by without having to physically fight (see: confrontation with nick in the below timeline)

Blue

dick’s OC boyfriend; ship name bluebird

[original blue post] [other original blue post]

ex-talon from an alternate reality

6’5” 😳

in his original universe blue was taken as a child and turned into a talon (in this version talons have boosted strength/healing, and were conditioned/brainwashed into carrying out the court of owls’ assassinations. also golden eyes) and doesn’t remember his name anymore. once he tumbled into this universe after an assignment gone wrong, he was free of the court’s orders and re-education for the first time and started slowly unraveling their mental conditioning

he rarely speaks, and takes a while to consider his words when he does. when he texts it’s mostly emojis because he prefers them

when left to his own devices he’s very gentle and likes to bake

he had short/shaved hair as a talon. once he’s in this world he starts growing it out and prefers it long

he eventually makes an excellent crime-fighting partner for dick; he knows and understands dick’s skills enough to trust him to take care of himself, so they work very well together. that said, if you really hurt nightwing you will be reminded very quickly that blue spent most of his life as a nearly unbeatable assassin.

he eventually takes up the superhero name flamebird to go with nightwing

Nick

tim’s OC ex-boyfriend; no ship name we hate nick

nick is a GU college freshman (18 at the time) tim meets playing tennis at the local rec center while tim is avoiding the manor in the early red hood reconciliation days

at first nick definitely plays into the fact that tim desperately craves attention at this point in his life. nick is at turns overwhelmingly nice and startlingly cold, and more and more often “playfully” mocks tim, dismisses his thoughts because he’s “young” (16 at the time), etc. nick is, essentially, a jerk who, despite—or perhaps due to—being a teenager himself, does everything he can to feel superior to tim.

nick also drags tim along to parties/hangouts with his college friends so he can show off that he’s dating tim drake-wayne. other than late-night parties with his friends, though, he insists on keeping their relationship a secret.

none of the bats know about this as it’s happening; tim eventually breaks it off and pretends it never happened.

rough OCBFEU timeline

jason and santi meet while jason is still sort of on the outs with the family but not in Revenge Mode anymore. first jason meets santi as red hood, and later realizes his main apartment/civilian ID lives in the same building as santi when they run into each other in the elevator.

sanjay identity shenanigans ensue! santi is very taken with red hood. santi thinks his upstairs neighbor “uhh, call me jay” is an inconsiderate dickhead for seemingly working out/moving furniture around at 3am sometimes. seriously, how many muscles does someone need. that’s ridiculous. santi also thinks jay has a very nice smile but that’s irrelevant.

meanwhile tim meets nick at rec center and they date for a few months. it’s not a great time for tim and he eventually breaks it off.

santi starts seeing red hood more because red hood will just. appear and shadow santi when he’s walking home from work late, and helps santi out of a tight spot with some of falcone’s men at one point (we learn santi used to work for falcone a few years ago; he needed the money to put his older sister through med school. santi’s not involved with the mob anymore but the past dogs his heels sometimes). santi and red hood start hooking up, though hood still won’t show his face.

santi volunteers at an after-school literacy program (while taking night classes working toward a teaching certification). one day santi’s neighbor jay shows up to the bake sale fundraising for the after-school program, and they have a cute interaction until there’s a surprise rogue attack and the school goes on lockdown. jay disappears; red hood shows up minutes later, helping santi secure the kids before going after the rogue. red hood gets hurt and in the aftermath santi, patching him up, pieces together that red hood is his neighbor jay.

shortly after this santi gets kidnapped in public along with a random teenager (tim drake) who happened to intervene and get himself kidnapped too. the kidnappers saw santi and hood together after the rogue attack, so they’re trying to get information on hood out of santi. tim runs interference as best he can and takes a few hits as a distraction, and soon enough red hood shows up to dispatch the kidnappers. in the aftermath red hood is cold and snappish to tim (jason thinks tim was stalking santi) (to be fair, tim was) and this leads to santi learning a bit more about jason’s family. this also leads to jason breaking up with santi because it’s too dangerous (for santi) to associate with him.

santi does not agree with this decision, and there’s a lot of pining and angsting until they get their shit together over the course of another few months. coincidentally jason is reconciling with his family in the meanwhile and getting his feet under him emotionally.

once they’re together jason and santi are like. incredibly domestic. totally in rhythm with each other. somehow jason now has the healthiest most settled relationship of any bat.

meanwhile in blüdhaven, blue pops in from an alternate reality where the court of owls rules gotham. blue was taken as a child and turned into a talon; when he’s thrown into this universe, he’s free from the owls’ control for the first time. it’s a rough landing—he ends up being fished out of a dumpster by dick and even though blue runs away, he imprints hard on one dick grayson.

Tim (18 now) realizes his longtime crush on kon might be reciprocated; cue panicking.

tim lies his way into a gay club to Research (because nick always kind of mocked tim for not having dated any guys before him; tim thinks he will have one shot to not disappoint kon so he has to figure shit out). gets drunk, starts making out with someone who is not uhh handling him gently. gets spotted by jason and santi, who are there on what was supposed to be a fun date, and they intervene. at first jason is annoyed, thinking tim’s following him again, and then realizes something is Wrong. he and santi dispatch the asshole other guy, and they bring drunk tim back to crash on jason’s couch.

the next morning tim is hungover at jason’s and mortified. santi makes him sit and eat breakfast and tim is like i’m sorry, i wasn’t even following you guys this time, i swear. which leads to tim haltingly explaining the nick thing. santi and jason (who is lurking in the kitchen listening to this convo) don’t know who this ex guy is yet but they’re gonna kill him ❤️

tim’s net gain for this ill-fated excursion: one (1) splitting headache and one (1) new older brother unit.

meanwhile back in blüdhaven blue is slowly un-conditioning himself, keeping to the shadows, and leaving little gifts on dick’s windowsill. the gifts are like, keychains, a lost earring, a random postcard. all tend to be blue or have blue in them, so dick starts nicknaming this mysterious gift-giver blue.

during patrol a week later jason finds tim on a rooftop and has an awkward but earnest talk with tim about uhh. consent and healthy relationships and stuff okay yeah we’re never talking about this again but also if you ever need anything. call me right away or i’ll kill you. okay good talk.

blue gets invited inside dick’s apartment for the first time. god bless bluebird they’re in their own little world over here.

tim and kon kiss 😳

an anonymous, “scandalous” tabloid story from someone claiming to have dated tim drake-wayne drops. resulting fallout, salacious rumors abound about tim + the waynes, etc. also, obviously, bruce and the family find out about nick. jason and santi figure out who nick is and separately visit him to put the fear of god in him.

nick: what the fuck, are you with the guy from earlier? i got the message! tell that guy i’m moving to star city this fucking weekend!

red hood: what guy

nick: you know the, the guy with the earring and the tattoo and he said if i didn’t lose tim’s number and leave town i’d have an accident

red hood: huh. no, not related. so you never made a deal with me. bummer for you, i still get to break one of your arms.

(jason obviously realizes the other guy was santi so he goes home and climbs into bed where santi’s awake reading and he’s like “productive night?” and jason’s like “mmhm, and i heard you had a productive day” and santi shrugs and then jason kisses the hell out of him)

over in blüdhaven blue witnesses dick get really upset over something (this article) for the first time. dick says “i’m going to be away for a few days but you can stay here while i’m gone, okay?” (when dick returns blue isn’t there but dick’s apartment has been deep-cleaned) (this leads to dick insisting blue stay there more and more until they accidentally end up as roommates)

batfamily deals with the nick aftermath and much-needed convos are had with tim. this also brings santi more into the family fold because everyone approves of him essentially making nick shit his pants.

bruce, up to this point, has been kind of wary of santi solely because santi is NOT immediately impressed with bruce. santi sees bruce as being on thin ice until he gets proof that bruce is in fact doing his best as a parent and then they have a slightly more chill dynamic.

meanwhile in gotham, mid family crisis, dick is having his own crisis/rooftop breakdown with tim and jason about having feelings for blue and going through his gay awakening at the ripe age of 20something and jason is very upset that he has somehow become the to-go gay relationship advice sibling.

because yeah, between dick and jason, JASON’s relationship is the more normal/aspirational one for tim looking for like queer mentors. bluebird is great and perfect for them obviously but they are not a blueprint for anyone else.

dick: [sitting on blue’s shoulder after describing how blue wooed him with random tchotchkes on his windowsill and then moved into a corner of his living room for a month and—] anyway do as i say not as i do

dick literally let a secret organization-trained slightly undead assassin into his house for fun bc he got like a few cool rocks as a gift

if tim asked dick for advice dick would be like “oh shit you like-like him? i just thought you were really touchy friends”

no one should ask bruce for advice, ever

so here jason is, somehow the most stable gay of the family

by the time damian appears with his first crush jason is like [sighs] [gets out the powerpoint]

timkon officially get together!

aaaand then months later dick shows up to family dinner with a giant ex-talon in tow like “heyyyyy guys, so guess what—”

there are also plenty of fun post-timeline adventures like “blue and santi get kidnapped together to target nightwing and red hood; kidnappers regret this almost immediately” and “tim takes blue on restaurant adventures because blue really likes fancy food; one day they run into nick who says something nasty about tim and blue breaks nick’s wrist (tim’s net gain: another older brother unit)” and “santi is frantically trying to catch the bus one night and steps on one of poison ivy’s vines—whoops, it’s sex pollen; santi gets introduced to PAID forms” or, alternately, “jason gets hit with the poison ivy special and that’s how santi finds out he’s on jason’s PAID form” and “bruce and blue surprisingly get along very well and trade sparring tips (meanwhile, bruce is trying so hard to get santi to tolerate him and it’s slow going)” and also “dick realizes everyone else in the world knew he and blue were dating and in love six months before he did.”

extra content:

santi, blue, and kon end up in a robin bf support group gc. one day kon gets added to a group chat that’s just like [(372)846-XXXX and (124)234-XXXX has added you to a group chat] and nothing happens there for like 2 hours he’s just like 

kon: ?

kon: hello?

kon: is this spam? is there such a thing as spam gcs?

kon: am i getting blackmailed

kon: how did you get this number??

(blue added kon while santi is in school)

the gc also ends up nonstop unintentional comedy due to their communication styles. kon’s gen z (👍 = declaration of war) and santi is technologically elder millennial/boomer (thought 🙂 was a normal smiley until corrected)—but blue is none of the above. blue knows the nuances of every emoji but has no social rules for using them. he’s an emoji artist. he is unbound.

from @90kon, in a version of the timeline where santi hasn’t seen jason’s face/doesn’t know his name before their sort-of breakup:

after their not-yet-together-break-up they should have an argument. like santi confronts jason about him saying he doesn’t want this thing between them to go on but wont give santi an honest answer but also keeps lurking and santi cant move on like that. bc either he’s done with him or he’s not. and umm yeah jason is not rly saying much but eventually santi is like alright. just tell me this: do you want this or not? forget about everything else…do you want me? and santi barely has time to finish his question before jason says yes. in a tight voice. i want you so much it scares the shit out of me. and ummm well eventually santi is like look. you can have me. but i have conditions.

and he’s like. whatever idk uhh don’t lurk out my window unless you’re gonna come in. dont investigate me; if you want to know something, just ask. at the end he should say "and i need a name. it doesn't have to be your full name or anything, but i need to call you something other than red." and jason is quiet for so long santi sighs and is like. "yeah i didn’t actually think that one was gonna fly. whatever, forget i said--" and jason says "jay." like it just slips out of him. and santi stills, looks at him, and from the way jason said it he somehow knows it's real. it could be short for any number of names but it's real. so he repeats it. "jay."

family game night from @mammutblog:

collected OCBFEU tag

[OC boyfriends created in a lab by @90kon, @mammutblog, @cairoscene, @vinelark, @feyburner, @bluecrystalrainingdaggers!]

[liknws]

[ 002 ] "i hope."

⎯⎯ PAIRING: han jisung x reader/oc ⎯⎯ TAGS: rockstar!3racha plus jeongin, non!idol au, lovers to exes to enemies, one tour bus instead of one bed trope, subtweeting but in songs dropped during concerts, childhood friends to lovers ⎯⎯ RATING: 18+, mature ⎯⎯ WARNINGS: mild angst, i don't think there's anything else ⎯⎯ WORD COUNT: 4.9K (4970)

⎯⎯ SUMMARY: it’s been three years since the break up, three years since leaving the band you helped start, three years since you’ve even talked about your ex. not only have you been able to avoid talking about him, but you’ve been able to avoid him all together. until that same band you helped start decides to change labels and not a single person warned you that your safe place was about to be invaded by three men you’d do anything to avoid.

⎯⎯ A/N: added some twitter screenshots for the fun of it. also there's some cringe writing about singing so you've been warned about that, i'm sorry! this is probably my favorite chapter of the fic so far and it was incredibly fun to write. as always, reblogs and comments are appreciated and encouraged!

[ masterlist ]

You’re leaving the fifth city since the tour kicked off just two months ago, the two bands quickly becoming accustomed to life on the road with each other. To say that it was perfect would be a lie, each new day bringing a special kind of drama and spice to the day to day of touring. Last night there had been a tense argument over the temperature of the bus, the night before there had been some interesting threats made over a card game.

You didn’t often join in the bonding of the two touring bands, sitting near the edge of their circles so that it may appear you were participating but if asked any question about what had gone on in the last twenty or so minutes, you’d flunk the test. Your mind had been anywhere but the present for days, swimming in your own dark thoughts and memories. Being around the three that you once called family brings a lot of emotions to the surface you long thought buried and unreachable.

Everytime Changbin laughed you found yourself giggling quietly. He’d always been able to bring you out of whatever dark slump you’d been in, always the one to brighten the dark skies in your life. With Chan around again you felt a little more at ease, his presence a natural comfort and safe space for you. Any time you felt at war with the world, his arms would open for you to fall into and fight away the darkness.

Jisung brought so much up that you didn’t know what to do with it all. His laugh brought a smile to your face but then an ache in your chest. His sleepy smiles made you want to coo at him, pull him close and play with his hair like you used to. There are words that sit at the tip of your tongue that want to spill out but you swallow them back every time. Like now, with his tongue caught between teeth and eyebrows scrunched in concentration. The urge to reach over and take his hand, to smooth out those lines on his face, to comfort from whatever thought plague his mind, grows only stronger every night spent on the bus together.

Luckily it’s easy to pass off your distance as being unfriendly, uncaring. You were often alone on the bus, your shared bedroom becoming your palace of solitude and the others just left you be. No one forced you to participate, no one begged you to join in their card games or movies in the front of the bus. If your bandmates wanted to be with you, they came to you in the back of the bus. An unspoken line had been drawn at the doorway, the four outsiders never attempted to come into your space.

Unless you invited them in. It started with Jeongin, he wasn’t in the middle of any of it. You didn’t resent him for taking your place in the band, you were proud of him for getting it. One day you had seen him half hanging from his bunk with a book and asked him if he wanted to come read with you in your room, since you’re sure the bed in there was much better for relaxing and it’s quieter from the chaos out front.

That had started it. He would just silently look at you from wherever he was sitting on the bus and raise an eyebrow at you. You’d nod silently and within minutes, both of you are doing different things while stretched out on the bed.

Tonight is one such night. After one particularly long final show at the venue, both you and Jeongin had silently agreed to fall into the bedroom to just lay in the quiet and relax the ache from your bones. Between the bone deep exhaustion from the show and the lull of the road under the bus’s tires, you two fell asleep quickly.

Chan found you two half cuddled on top of the bed with legs a tangled mess and bodies angled away from each other, still in your clothes from the performance with makeup on your faces. He hasn’t the heart to wake you or the youngest so he lets you sleep, coming to the front of the bus and quietly getting everyone to ushered to bed. He doesn’t miss the look in Jisung’s eyes when told that Jeongin is sleeping back there with you already.

Sometime in the night when Chan gets up to check on everyone, he sees that you two have been tucked in, each under your favorite blankets and shoes lined up next to the door neatly. Chan isn’t sure who had taken care of you two, but he’s got a good guess.

The next morning is a late wake up for you; the only thing for the day is arriving in the next city and some radio interview that afternoon. You and Jeongin are perhaps the last ones to wake and stumble to the living room space, rubbing sleep from your eyes and pushing bed messed hair from your face. A cup of coffee is handed to you, your thanks mumbled at them with eyes still closed. You stand with a hip leaned against one of the counters until you’re more awake to open your eyes.

The others are mingled together, quietly talking to each other as they plan the day ahead of them. You catch a few things but mostly tune it out, sipping instead on the coffee (made perfectly you notice) and just grunting if anyone attempts to speak with you. When you finally decide to open your eyes and look around you notice that most everyone is intermingled, showing that the weeks on the road have bonded the two bands. Only you remain on the outside, walls so fortified against the others that you’re starting to wonder if it’s a cage you’ve trapped yourself in.

“We’re a couple hours away from our next stop. Once we get to the hotel and get checked in, it’s showers for everyone and back in the lobby within the hour.” Lily has appeared with a planning book in hand, pen tucked behind her ear. “Slight change of plans. We’re doing a live audience taping.” She flips a few pages and reads to confirm the details. “It’s going to play tonight and again in the morning as a promotion for the show since this station is the main sponsor for this venue.”

“How big is the audience?” Chan asks, looking between Lily and the others, confirming that his question is the one that everyone else seems to have. You nod, wondering just how big this thing is going to be today.”

“Less than 100 tickets.”

“Can we set up a meet and greet after the taping? Or open to fan questions?” This time Felix has the question. You can’t help but smile behind your mug, looking at him fondly. You adore that he wants to turn every small event into something like this for the fans, trying to make this about them too. “Maybe a panel instead of just a radio interview? Or both?”

“Let me call the producers and see what they think. I’ll let you know by the time we’re at the hotel, okay?” Lily has her own look of fondness, giving him the biggest smile she’s able to. You make a mental note to talk to her about that later but look instead at the others. None really seem too uncomfortable with the idea. “Unless anyone objects?”

“I think a meet and greet and panel sounds like a great idea. A fan led interview portion would be perfect,” Minho agrees with a nod. Seungmin and Hyunjin hum their agreement. She looks up at you for any objection and you just shrug, not really having an issue one way or the other with the plan. “If you guys are cool with it.” Minho shoots a look over at the other band who nod their agreement.

“Cool, let me make the call and I will update you all.” With a quick smile she’s headed back to the driver’s cab of the bus to make the calls, seemingly since it’s so much quieter up there instead of surrounded by the musicians in the bus.

“Movie?” Changbin is quick to suggest, holding up the remote to the streaming TV. Everyone seems to collectively agree, settling into comfortable places to see. You choose the far side of the couch, half curled into the arm as you lean on it for support to cradle your still steaming mug. You don’t even care that Jisung is the one that sits next to you as the movie starts.

・❥・

The interview has been going great, the station loved the idea of making it a panel and interview half led by the fans. They offered for a longer recording time as well to accommodate the idea. Everyone agreed without question.

The two bands are sitting in a line, facing the small audience but half turned to see the radio hosts. Each member holds their own microphone and you’ve already broken up one “lightsaber” fight between Jeongin and Hyunjin as one had red and the other blue, respectively. They ended up having to be separated and by doing so, the seating shuffle had you sitting with Felix on one side and Jisung on the other.

“If you guys are still up for it, why don’t we take a few more fan questions,” one of the radio hosts suggests, turning toward the audience and reaching for the wireless mic to pass off.

One girl stands, she wears one of 3RACHA’s older shirts, you realize. One of the designs from the touring festival. The sight makes your mouth go dry and shift in your seat. Eyes look toward Jisung to see if he noticed and by the way he’s refusing to look at you, you take that as he noticed.

The sight of that design brings a lot of memories up, a lot that you wish you could forget. That you hoped because of your addiction and struggles wouldn’t have survived that night but instead seemed to cling tighter the more you wanted it gone. That festival had been the turning point of your relationship, when everything shattered. You announced your departure from 3RACHA within a week of returning from the tour.

“My question is for 3RACHA.” A beat to confirm that she’s allowed to do that. “What’s it like to work with Red again after all these years?”

Okay, a pretty tame question. One you had expected in fact, though from the radio hosts and not the fan.

“It’s been pretty amazing to see them again, yeah. Really not just Red, but working with all of Ultra Violet has been great. I hope we get more opportunities like this in the future to work with the band.” The tension in your shoulders eases as Chan answers.

“Yeah, like Chan said: It’s been really cool seeing them and catching up. I’m super proud of what they’ve been doing and all the music they’ve been putting out there. It’s really amazing stuff, you know?” Changbin jumps in before the topic moves on, grinning.

“Hey! Stop with the flattery, they’re ours now. Finders Keepers,” Minho protests from his seat, half standing to point accusingly at Chan and Changbin. This elicits more laughter from everyone.

“I’m not going anywhere, Lino. It’s okay.” You laugh, leaning forward to look at him. “Now sit down before you hurt yourself.” He tsks at you but sits anyway, giving a faux grumble and pout before looking back out at the audience. The next few questions are easy ones, asking about later tour plans and if any surprises await.

What you aren’t prepared for is the next question that comes up. “I’m sure that touring together brings up a lot of old memories and emotions. There’s been speculation for years that everything between Jisung and Red was faked for publicity or sales. Can you guys confirm that was the case?”

You’re not aware of the words leaving your mouth until you feel Felix’s hand on your arm. “Nothing was fake, not a single bit of that was a stunt or for somebody. It was for us, just Jisung and myself. We were best friends who fell in love, it felt like the natural course of things. We were together before we ever made it to the music scene– Fuck, I have the cringe high school and graduation photos to prove it. We just kept everything private for a long time because we didn’t- and still don’t- owe anyone anything about the relationship. Past, present, or future.”

Don’t look at him, you tell yourself as you settle back in your chair. Rotating your arm so your palm is up, Felix takes the silent invitation and threads his fingers through yours with a squeeze. His presence is a comfort, letting yourself focus more on the feeling of his hand in yours instead of the anger that wants to boil over.

“So then something happened that made you leave the band. Was that before or after the break up?” Not missing the opportunity, one of the radio hosts takes the chance to continue the topic and goes with it. You’re about to ask for the subject to be dropped but Jisung speaks up next to you.

“I think Red will agree with me here when I say we’d rather not share private information about what may or may not have happened. That’s between us.” His voice is calm and level. Risking a glance at him, you see that his face is pretty impassive. You mouth a simple thank you to him before turning away.

“Who wants to talk about boring stuff like that when we have cool tour stuff to talk about?” Ever the savior and quickly becoming your favorite, Jeongin is fast in interjecting to change the topic of discussion. He winks at you when you look at him.

“I will say we have a couple new songs we’re debuting this weekend,” Chan teases with a chuckle.

“That’s right, you all have multiple shows this weekend right?” The other host quickly moves with the hints, letting the discussion of your relationship fall to the wayside. You release a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, shoulders falling back down. With your head turned to face the hosts, you don’t notice that Jisung looks at you with that worry crease between his brow and teeth chewing his bottom lip.

“Yep! We’ll be doing three shows here this weekend.” Felix is excited, nearly hitting himself with his mic with how fast he raised it to speak. You’re laughing, realizing right away what he’d just given away as Minho reaches over and slaps at his arm lightly. “Oops.”

“Three? I thought it was two. Friday and Saturday night.”

“Since Felix can’t keep a secret,” Seungmin is the one to speak up. “We’re doing a secret show Sunday night.” Hyunjin interjects with how it’s not really all that secret anymore, earning light chuckles. “We’ll announce when and where one hour before doors open on our Twitter.”

“So is this just an Ultra Violet show or will 3RACHA be joining in?” There’s a prying tone to the host’s question but you expected that the second the information was slipped. At least it was quick to change the attention from you individually.

“You’ll have to follow our Twitter to find out,” Jisung offers with a shrug.

・❥・

The rest of the interview goes smoothly, if maybe a little awkward but to credit everyone else they weren’t making a focus of it. The tension doesn’t lift from your shoulders until the microphones are handed back to the audio team and the goodbyes are exchanged with the radio hosts.

A few minutes to yourself before you go meet your fans in the small meet and greet. A few minutes to compose yourself and get the shaking to leave your hands. Quietly you slip from the group and find yourself a darker corridor to be alone in. Alone and in the quiet, you allow yourself to have a small breakdown. You lean against the cinderblock wall and slide down until you’re sitting with your back pressed against the cold wall, the chill of it bringing some peace.

Peace can only last so long, you think as the sound of approaching footsteps starts echoing around the darkness. It’s not so dark that you can’t tell that it's someone familiar and you assume that Seungmin has come to find you.

“I’m fine, Minnie. I just needed a quick breather.” You speak loud enough that he could hear you as far away as he is. The footsteps don’t stop and you lean forward to see who it is. The sight of Jisung coming closer and then crouching in front of you makes you stop breathing just a second.

“Sorry,” he whispers, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “Not ‘Minnie’.” He’s just inside of your reach, if you stretched your arm just a little bit you could take his hand in yours. You don’t. You shove your hand between your thighs as if caging them so they can’t reach for him.

“Sorry,” you whisper your apology. Anything above a whisper feels too loud, like it might shatter whatever small comfort this moment offers. Fighting against the urge to take one of his hands still, you dig your nails into the well-worn denim on your leg. You note the twitch in his own hand, hanging relaxed from where his forearms are braced on his knees as he’s crouched down to your level.

“I just—” He starts and stops, shrugging. The words remain in the space, unsaid. You wonder if he’s going to say what you think, what you won’t allow yourself to hope for. To your surprise, he does. “I wanted to check on you after that. You didn't seem like yourself.”

“Listen I just—” Now it’s your turn to stop with a shake of your head. “Nevermind. Thanks for saying what you did.”

He gives a humorless laugh and even in the darkness you can tell that his smile is a little forced. Nails dig in harder on your thigh in response, like that’s the last bit of self control you might have.

“Don’t thank me. I just assumed you wanted to keep things private like always.”

“Yeah, yeah. I do.” You take a deep breath. “It isn’t anyone’s business but ours.” You look back at him, not even really realizing you had let your eyes wander away. Looking now you see that same torn look in his eyes that you’re almost positive mirrors in your own. The weight of choice sits heavy in your gut.

He stands, extending a hand out to you to help you up. Against your better judgment, you take it with a whispered thanks. His hand is warm, it feels familiar and just perfect in yours. Fingers interlock together just as you two had done so many countless times before and it feels like home standing there with him, your linked hands between you two.

“I’m happy you’re speaking to me now.” His joy is too bright, almost a sun that could burn every bad thought away from you right now. You can’t let him, you can’t let the warm familiarity of his touch make you forget why you two are like this now.

“I’m not, but I will acknowledge that what you did during the interview was a nice thing.”

“I wasn’t just being nice. I guess I had hoped that showing you we’re on the same page that we could at least talk. I guess I assumed so I'm sorry.”

Every ounce of your willpower is put behind the effort of taking your hand out of his. Not because he’s holding so tightly but because you really don’t want to let go at all. “Once this tour is done and over, we won’t have anything more to do with each other. Just like it was before. I can’t— I don’t want to be your friend.”

“You were my best friend. You’re saying we can’t go back to that one day?” You don’t miss the pain in his eyes, the way his lips are pushed further into a pout. You have to go, you have to get away before something is said that you can’t take back. Before you break down the small shred of self-respect you’ve managed to build back after him is shattered.

You brush past him, intending to head toward the service exit of the venue that you’d originally come through. You just need space away from him, to get a clear thought that isn’t all consumed with his perfect pouted lips or the way his hand touch lights every single nerve ending you thought might have died with the relationship.

A hand on your arm stops you, pulling you lightly back into him. The shift in momentum throws you off balance and you fall back into his chest as his arms wrap around your waist.

“Please, jagiya.” His voice is so soft and you want to give in to his plea. It would be too easy to fall back into that with him, to unearth the buried feelings and let it consume you as it had before. “Tell me why we can’t be like that again.”

Every word sends a crack through the foundation, shakes the walls, rumbles the once solid ground under your feet. You turn in his arms, hands coming up to his chest and so gently pushing yourself out of his hold.

“I can’t be your friend when I’m still in love with you.” Somehow saying the words aloud didn’t lift any weight off your shoulders as you wanted, it only brought a burning pain to your chest and a thickness to your throat you knew meant you were going to cry.

“I’m still in love with you!” His pleas are soft, just as his touch. Reaching for you, hand on your cheek as his thumb brushes away a tear or two that flood over your lashes. “Why can’t we accept that and work on that? Figure out the rest as we go?”

You have to swallow back the tears in order to talk. It takes you a minute and he doesn’t rush you. “Because as much as I still love you, I hate you. You hurt me and you broke us. You broke my trust in you in a way that can’t be fixed. I can’t ever trust you again, no matter how much I still love you.”

“Jagiya,” he pleads again. “Let me prove it to you.”

“Don’t- don’t call me that. I can’t, just respect that. Understand what I’m telling you and leave me alone.” One last longing look before you remove his hand from your cheek and step out of his reach. You walk back a step or two before you have the strength to turn away from him, heading back to the cars.

・❥・

Just like every other show, 3RACHA is the first to perform. The order had been agreed on by a coin toss and then again by rock-paper-scissors. Their setlist remains roughly the same each night, a few changes here or there to keep it from being too similar to every other performance.

At first you think that it’s a fluke, that the song choice is just you reading too into things. Friday night is a bit chaotic and you’re on edge from the radio interview being aired again that morning. So there’s no way that Jisung is playing that song just for you. This one isn’t the one you two had written together but the words call back to your relationship, they could be applied in a way of him apologizing and trying to show you the love you two have is real.

But no, you convince yourself that you’re wrong. And by the time you make it on stage for your performance with Ultra Violet, the song is forgotten and your focus goes to the show.

But there’s no convincing yourself of the same thing the next night. Your heart stops when he looks at you, knowing you’re standing just off the side of the stage in the dark wings. And just like when he announced your relationship to the world by using a Taylor Swift song, he uses another to show you he was serious. That he meant it, that he wants to try again.

The words echo through you well past your performance and follow you into bed that night.

I never thought we'd have a last kiss I never imagined we'd end like this Your name, forever the name on my lips

・❥・

The crowd is bigger than you could have hoped for, knowing that there was only an hour for people to get in the door before the show started. Even then, they piled into the bar and screamed along with every lyric. These are the kinds of shows you love, the ones that remind you of where you started and that your success is because of this kind of love from your fans.

“Thank you so much guys for coming out!” Seungmin takes the lead, leaning into his mic to talk to the crowd of fans. They scream back in response to him. “It has been great being here tonight, truly we can’t do this without you guys.” Cliche but it’s true and you’re a smiling dork next to him nodding along.

“We have just a few songs left before we’re out of here.” You’re the one addressing them now, wiggling your eyebrows as you look out across the packed bar. “I hope you guys don’t mind but we’ve got a new song for you tonight.” You’d discussed this with your band last night, playing this song and spilling a few secrets at the same time. “I actually wrote this one and it’s for someone special, so I really hope you guys like it.”

You can already see it, the way that one line sends ripples of speculation and questions through the crowd. Already there are phone cameras pointed at the stage, that much you expected. You’d hoped for it. You know that once you start down this path there won’t be a way back. You will have to see your way through this choice.

The song is a bit softer than what you’ve been playing so far tonight, the melody and tempo slower. It’s a big difference but you’re hopeful that the crowd will at least be receptive, though in the end you don’t really care about their opinion. You just want to speak your side of the story now.

The song starts slower, just your voice and the rhythmic strumming of Felix’s guitar. The first verse plays out a lot of memories for you of those early years, of those nights driving from one city to another in order to spend time with him. Memories of playlist shared and swapped, of songs written for or about each other that you once treasured.

I, I hope she makes you smile The way you made me smile on the other end of a phone In the middle of a highway driving alone Oh baby I, I hope you hear a song That makes you sing along and gets you thinking about her Then the last several miles turn into a blur, yeah

The chorus is where Seungmin joins in on keyboard and Hyunjin sets a simple tempo on the drums. Minho’s bass notes flow through, tying everything together as you lean into the words a little more. You let the anger and rawness of these last few nights fuel your vocals as the leading notes of your guitar rift kick up the intensity of the chorus.

I hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive I hope you know she's the one by the end of the night I hope you never ever felt more free Tell your friends that you're so happy I hope she comes along and wrecks every one of your plans I hope you spend your last dime to put a rock on her hand I hope she's wilder than your wildest dreams She's everything you're ever gonna need And then I hope she cheats, like you did on me

You see it then, the dawning realization that this song isn’t a happy farewell to a relationship, that you’re not on friendly terms with whomever might be the subject of the song. As far as anyone knows, you have only ever dated one person (which remains the truth) and so this song could only be about him. You see it then, more phones rise from the crowd to capture the bitter lyrics and pent up anger as you flow to the next verse and the chorus repeats the words echoed by your broken heart.

You dare one glance at the wings of the stage, where you know he typically likes to hang out when you’re performing. Your eyes lock on his for the last chorus, the final nail to the coffin of any hope that this song may not be about him. You don’t look away from him until the last nights of the song fall off. The silence is only for a moment but when the cheers start, you turn back toward the crowd and cast away the last image of him. Of his anger, his pain, and heartbreak all laid out at his feet because of you.

You stomp down any guilt you might feel as the final song of the night opens with a beating from the drums behind you.

[redbelles]

5, 18, 69, and 76 for the fic writer meme!

5. how many wips do you have? what fandoms/pairings are they for?

yeah i've got wips

kidding! (mostly! not really. but only kind of. it's fine!)

i have just. so many fucking wips. don't wanna talk about how many i have because it's embarrassing, actually! this is absolutely because i consider anything i've written words for/thought about for more than a hot minute a """wip""" but that's a me problem, so here, have semi-comprehensive list of wips i'm determined to finish this year:

the chimneys hardly ever fall down masters of the air; post-war john/gale/marge

gonna stand here in the ache the punisher; post-season one frank/karen

our hands are cold, the moon sets low asoiaf/got; post-season eight jon/sansa

butchered tongue still singing berserk; post-canon guts/casca

something in the night gilmore girls; keg max!au jess/rory

don't you hear me howling, babe? shadow & bone; season one canon divergence darklina au

the second hand unwinds (time after time) stranger things; post-season four hellcheer au

and then, for fun, some wips that aren't top priority atm:

prophetic perfect tense dune; always a girl!paul atreides au

i've walked for miles top gun; post-canon icemav road trip au

more than kin and less than kind hotd; rhaenys flambés the greens at aegon's coronation au

the knife i turn inside myself dune; irulan/feyd post-kanly hatefucking + marriage of convenience au

18. do you enjoy research? which fic of yours required the most research?

yeah! i'm a nerd at heart and also i have a burning need to be canon-compliant with both canon and reality, so i love getting into the research weeds when i'm all in on a fic!

the most """research""" i've done for a fic was, astonishingly, for the fucking,,,,, robert baratheon story (that started life as, and i cannot stress this enough, a joke). i spent so many hours on a wiki of ice and fire i'm pretty sure i made up at least 40% of the site's traffic during the calendar year time it took me to write the damn thing. extremely normal behavior!

anyway! i'm actually in the opposite situation with chimneys, which is super weird. i know a staggering amount of information about the post-wwii usaaf/usaf, and i have to actively stop myself from a) infodumping about things like the development of the american bomber fleet and b) trying to make the timeline accurate, because the entire premise of the fic relies on me Ignoring what was actually going on. anti-research. insane! everyone pour one out for @sluttyhenley— she's spent the last two months taking one for the team and letting me rant at her about curtis lemay so i can get it out of my system and spare everyone who's there for porn instead of a dissertation on strategic bombing doctrine <3

69. what are your favorite fics at the moment?

first of all: nice 😏

second: i feel like i've blathered enough about my own fic today that i'm gonna take this as a question about what i've been enjoying as a reader, so! some recs!

moon's low (can't say no) by @meyerlansky delicious introspective curt pov that nuances an already insanely interesting scene! love this for me! in related news, i am barking and frothing at the mouth as i wait patiently for the follow up to dancing cheek to cheek (to cheek)! tumblr user meyerlansky comin' in hot with THEE definitive curt biddick voice!

never saw the sun shining so bright by @sluttyhenley absolutely shrieking about this series! marge deserves the world! and also both of the buck(y)s! good for her.jpeg! i'm lucky enough to be getting snippets of this as m writes it, and i cannot wait for the next few installments to go live

careful fear and dead devotion by @everyangel another john/gale/marge series i'm currently losing my mind over! the marge voice is so delicious, and i love the pre-war angle that underpins the first fic! cannot wait for more!

enter night by @rhaegang monsterfuckers and barry keoghan enthusiasts rejoice! the writing is top notch, the sex is blisteringly hot, and the tension and pacing are superb. rhaegang truly never misses

nothing safe is worth the drive (follow you home) by @yoursummerfrost i never really had a buffy phase, but i came across this fic the other day and boy howdy does it have me by the throat. deeply emotional, very sexy, and written with so much love it's got me thinking about giving the series more than a cursory "well, it was on when i was home sick from school way back when" watch. also! i've devoured every buffy fic they've written since i found this one and i'm happy to report that they're all incredible!

76. how do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

mature answer: i try to take a step back and remind myself that this is a hobby i am doing for fun and for free and i should calm the fuck down about it

follow up answer: and if that doesn't work, i whine ceaselessly at my writing buddies until i'm over it

send me some fic writing asks!

[little-diable]

The Purest Form of Yourself - Priest!Spencer Reid (smut)

Oh boy. This is @hidingsikki fault, and maybe the one of my dark thoughts. My first ever Priest Reid fic and its quite something, oh well, remember: don't like it, don't read it. But please, if you enjoyed reading this, like and reblog. Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader's parents think that she's possessed by Satan, priest Reid is their last hope. And yet, even though he knows that she isn't guided by the dark Lord himself, the man of God can't help but take advantage of the situation.

Warnings: 18+, unprotected PIV, oral (m receiving), intercourse in a church, religious connotations, dom!Spencer

Pairing: Priest!Spencer Reid x fem!reader (2k words)

header by @hidingsikki

Tears glistened on her cheeks as the car kept driving past the all too familiar houses. She had tried to rip herself free from her mother’s grasp, had tried to push her weight against the car door, hoping to escape before her life would forever be changed, though without any luck. (Y/n) could still hear her father’s words ringing in her ears, how he had forced her out of her room, telling her about the only man that could save her from Satan’s grasp.

“The devil’s inside of you, I can feel it, you need to be pure again. Priest Reid shall free your innocent soul.”

(Y/n) hadn’t been able to stop her laughter from bubbling out of her, unsure if her father was making fun of her or if he was truly planning on dragging her to the town’s church. Sounds that had only added more confusion to her parents mind, unsure if the demon was communicating with them. The second her father had grasped (y/n)’s wrists, she had known that there was no way out, all because of the past weeks and the darkening thoughts stretching themselves through her system.

Ever since winter had rolled upon the country, her mood had been dampened, unable to voice out what brought tears to her eyes, unable to voice out the pain she was feeling. Perhaps she should have kept this from her parents, perhaps she should have acted as if nothing was wrong, and yet she hadn’t found the strength to do so, hoping that they’d help her.

“Please, turn around, there’s nothing wrong with me.” Sobs rumbled through her as (y/n) spoke up, groaning in pain. Her throat was sore, tight from the pressure her screams had pressed onto her vocal cords, making her parents believe that something darker was housing in her flesh cage. Neither her mother nor her father dared to reply, eyes focused on the church ahead, praying to God that the priest would help them.

(Y/n) could make out his frame from afar, standing in front of the wooden building with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Priest Reid wore a black, simple suit, the golden cross he usually carried around with himself dangled from his neck like a pendant swinging in front of one’s eyes. For the past months she had found herself growing rather fond of the handsome man, imagining hours spent together, with her hands buried in his curls and her eyes rolling back into her head.

Sinful thoughts she had confessed to after the first night she had made herself cum to the thought of him. The priest hadn’t said much back then, and yet, with a smile tugging on his lips, he had freed her from her sins - very well knowing that he’d claim them soon enough.

The second the car came to a halt, he stepped closer, opening the door (y/n) was pressed against. Strong hands caught her trembling frame, pressing the sobbing woman against his warm chest, “Thank you for bringing her here, I shall take good care of your daughter. You’ll be contacted once she’s freed from Satan’s grasp.”

Her parents didn’t notice how he tightened his grasp on her side, thumb rubbing against the side of her chest, teasing the skin that wasn’t covered by her bra. Her parents also didn’t notice how a slight smile tugged on his lips as his eyes met hers, very well aware that no demon was plaguing her body. Even though the priest knew that she was in no need of being freed from a demon nor Satan, he’d use the situation to his advantage, taking what he had been lusting after for months.

All (y/n) could do was watch her parents leave, not once did they turn back towards her, sparing their daughter one last glance. All (y/n) could do was put her trust in the priest and his guiding touch, hoping that he’d see clearer than her parents. All (y/n) could do was pray that this nightmare was about to be broken by her screams rumbling through her, ripping her from her sleep.

“Come, let’s get you inside.” Tugged towards the church, (y/n) felt herself zoning out for a moment, wondering what he’d do to her, if he’d be willing to listen to her or if he walked the same path like her parents.

The church was dark inside, only a few candles flickered in the distance, flames moved by the silent breeze that stroked along the wooden creation. Priest Ried guided her towards the altar, hand finding her shoulder to push her to her knees. Almost automatically she started praying her Hail Mary, hoping that He was listening. She felt the priest's eyes on her frame, burning through her skin as if she was nothing more than a translucent veil.

“You see, an exorcism takes time, time I don’t have for a woman guided by her primal instincts, by her needs and urges. Your body calls out to me, it may be guided by a demon sent from Hell, begging for the forbidden release, though you’re not guided by Satan. I shall satisfy your needs so you can return to your purest form.” Priest Reid stared down on her, eyes wandering along her frame, the goosebump covered limbs and the cheeks that were still graced by the tears she had cried. Heat brushed through her, urging on the nervousness she felt, unsure if she’d be able to withstand the calling.

“What will you do?” Her voice trembled, wondering if he’d reply to her questions, if he’d even grace her with his sincere attention. (Y/n) could only watch the priest crouch down in front of her, cold hands reaching for her wrists, binding them together with his black rosary. Distracted by the emotions rushing through her like the river Johannes had baptised the holy Son in, (y/n) didn’t fight against the tight grasp, watching the man rise to his feet once again.

“Let me guide you, do as you’re told and you won’t suffer any longer.” His hands worked on his belt, undoing his black trousers to free his hard cock. (Y/n) no longer found the strength to breathe, she had imagined moments like these for nights on end, and yet she hadn’t thought that it would play out like this. With a fire burning in his eyes. With a devilish smirk tugging on his lips. Without taking no for an answer. “Open your mouth.”

She parted her lips, gasping in surprise as he pulled her closer with his hand finding her scalp, forcing his cock into her mouth. Tears welled up in (y/n)‘s eyes, tears glistening on her skin like the sun that had burnt Jesus’ skin, hanging on the wooden cross for all curious eyes to see. The priest didn’t hold back, he fucked her mouth as if she wasn’t gasping for air, forced his length further down her throat as if this was the only way to set her sins free.

His taste would forever stick to her muscle, a reminder of the dark act he was now pushing her through. Veins pulsed against her tongue, pumping blood through his cock to harden him even further. The moment felt almost rushed, perhaps the man wasn’t trying to overthink what he was doing, scared that God would call him out on the wrongs he was committing.

It was no secret that he was now committing a sin himself, using her position to his advantage, and yet neither (y/n) nor the priest seemed to worry about the what ifs and what may follow. His groans filled the church, louder than the drums of Hell, stronger than the archangels calling. A sin overpowering God’s creations, made to bite itself through his flesh.

“Atta girl, I knew you’d be all set on pleasing your priest, such a greedy mouth, you were made for me.” (Y/n) could only moan around him, sounds vibrating on his skin. Their eyes met - hers glassy, his piercing - the interaction forced him to retreat, at least for a moment. It seemed as if he was about to snap, as if her mouth no longer could satisfy his most primal needs. Without a warning, (y/n) was pulled to her feet, forced to face the wooden cross as her front met the altar.

A single “Amen” left her, wondering if anybody was listening and if they were, if they felt compassion for her.

The priest’s hand pushed her further down onto the wooden table before he ruffled her dress up to her waist. She still had her wrists tied together, hands interlaced as if she was praying to the Heavenly Father. And yet no prayer found itself overcoming her lips, no sounds rumbled through her - besides her moans and whimpers. The man took what he needed, he forced himself into her tightness, not giving her the chance to adjust.

“We will set the darkness inside of you free, you’ll return to the purest form of yourself.” His words did little to soothe the ache stretching itself through her tired body. No longer could she differentiate between right and wrong, no longer could she tell what her mind was trying to communicate. All (y/n) could do was stare at the cross, imagining the suffering Jesus had endured, pushed into darkness so the ones with a pure heart could live on.

“Please, I,” a sob clawed through her. A sob of pleasure, of confusion and of pain. “I’ve been good, I prayed, I ain’t no sinner.” But she was. The mere thoughts she had about the man of God have pushed her into Satan’s open arms, folding beneath his piercing eyes and the strong call. She wasn’t pure, wasn’t innocent, a woman falling for a man’s appearance, giving into the play of power.

She heard him spit into his hand, reaching around her waist to touch her sensitive bundle of nerves. His soft fingertips circled her clit, it had been the missing match to alight the cigarette one needed to set a gas station ablaze. The inferno taking down an entire town within minutes was now burning her flesh, leaving a reminder for weeks on end. Their bodies kept searching one another, cock pushed deeper and deeper into her.

There was no escaping, no chance to avoid the eventual release.

Her walls fluttered around him, clenching his cock to keep him close. Any moment now she’d let go, guided by her exhaustion, hoping that the priest would allow her to rest. The man’s pace began to falter, adding more strength to his thrust to push them both over the edge. A simple “Cum” left his parted lips, pushing (y/n) into the soaring waves of her orgasm.

The heavenly feeling swapped through her like the wine Jesus and his followers had poured down their throats, filling their every vein. Priest Ried fucked her through her high, allowing her to call out his name till her voice lost its strength. Only then did he give in, he pulled out of her before he imprinted himself on her behind, leaving his stain with a smirk tugging on his lips.

“You’ll never be innocent, nor shall God ever forgive you for lusting after a man made to spread His words. From now on you shall follow me, from now on you shall bow to my every command.”

Please like and reblog if you’ve enjoyed reading this, come talk to me about my writing, let’s spill some tea or thirst over our favorite people. xxx

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[astorythatwritesitself]

Re-intro time? Re-intro time

About Me & This Blog:

• Paine. Queer, 30, any pronouns. I follow back from dr-paine; and you'll never guess what my AO3 username is.

• Writing for 20+ years in some capacity

• Genre of choice is Fantasy. (High, low, slice of life or ungodly horror, mixed with sci-fi or the most classic Medieval sword and sorcery bullshit, I just need a touch, even if only implied, of magic.) I don't delve much into NSFW but it may come up; in any case: please only follow if you're 18+, and treat this blog with the mindset of 'creator chose not to use archive warnings'.

• I crave interaction, especially via tag/ask games - seriously. I reblog a lot of them. Do Not Hesitate. (And I always try to send an ask if you reblog any from me!)

• Hobbyist writer - I'm not aiming to be published, but I do want to improve my skills and eventually like... 'win a NaNo' in the sense of writing a complete, longform story one of these days. But also having fun is a priority, and ADHD + work is a cruel mistress, so I'll jump between WIPs on a whim, or just. Drop shit for months on end lol.

Vague List of Active Projects

While I have a ton of ideas, these are the ones that actually have like... any sort of substance to them, whether it's actual words or just a solid outline + desire to work on it. Each will eventually get a dedicated links/resource post, but for now, here's the basics!

Relentless As The Tide

(Mass Effect fics (roughly) following canon events/characters)

Adrian Shepard has been primed for heroism her entire life. Her first chance ended in a tragedy, one neither she nor the Alliance has ever properly owned up to. Saren's betrayal and the beacon's vision offer her the chance to atone for her failure at Akuze, and she'll do everything in her power to do so - even (and especially) if it kills her in the process.

Or so she believes - but uncovering the truth means looking for allies, and the more she gathers, the harder it becomes to believe that her death should - or can - be the end; and that perhaps heroism is just a means of distraction from confronting her own demons.

Unnamed Pokemon Project

(Loose follow through/retelling of Pokemon: Soul Silver)

Giovanni Rossi, former leader of the Viridian City pokemon gym, has confessed to heading the infamous Rocket organization, whose poaching and illegal trade has devestated the Kanto ecosystem for the past twenty years. However, he claims it was all for a good cause - just prior to founding Rocket, Giovanni had been part of a team trying to create artificial pokemon... and their most viable subject escaped. Rocket existed for the sake of tracking down and eventually overpowering this creature, but now... well, he wishes those in the Kanto and Johto regions the best of luck.

Following a break in at the New Bark Town lab, an assistant to Professor Elm - a reclusive young man named Linden - tracks down the suspect, only to find it's none other than Silver Rossi, Giovanni's own son. The boy claims he wants to take down the creature his father helped create and clear his own name from the scandal... and Linden has reasons of his own that make him want to see how things play out, even if it means he must shadow Silver's journey by embarking on one of his own.

Unnamed OC Project

(Original fantasy work)

In a world of faded magic, Elora Ryba cares little for talk of soon-to-come saviors or the sightings of dragons. No, she has other things on her mind - return to the town she was forced to leave over ten years ago, and steal its most precious treasure. And, ideally, marry her, as Elora promised that night she was forced to flee.

Which is why Elora's spent the past month searching for a priest corrupt enough to join a pirate's crew, but not corrupt (or worse, moral) enough to turn her in, and she thinks she's finally found one.

And the big list of fandoms/shit I like!

[risingsoleil]

Fic Writer Interview

My lovely friend @sheepwithspecs tagged me here, and I will spread this by tagging @yellowsalt3 @linnorabeifong @vr-tb @chiefbeifongcanrailme

1. How many works do you have on ao3? 14!

2. What's your total ao3 word count? 414,633

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Choices, Chances, Changes

You Are My Life

Talking to the Moon

The Other Side of Heaven

Lay All Your Love on Me

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I definitely try to respond to comments! The fact that someone spent time and energy to comment means so much to me, and I want to acknowledge that. I'm not the best at leaving comments, but I'm trying to do it more often as a reader bc I, too, am often dying at how awesome fics are

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It's probably Meant To Be. Now that I think about it, I might write an extra piece for this fic just bc I feel like being salty lol

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

The Only Light We'll See - The whole fic was just an excuse to write steamy, smutty Linzin and let them have a happy life together. I guess you could argue that the main Linzin and family AU I write could also be one of them, but I haven't completed their story yet in this universe. Tbf, I don't think my Linzin AU has an "ending" but whatever happens, Linzin gets their happy ever after

7. Do you write crossovers?

Right now, I don't. But I was more open to writing crossovers when I was a kid.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I haven't thankfully, I have really awesome and sweet and kind-hearted readers in my circle 💞

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell yeah, I fucking do! It's prob one of my fav things to write 😂 Idk what they mean by "what kind" but I've written possessive, romantic and loving, quickies, foreplay, first times, and spontaneous stuff. It's fun and my otps tend to be...super horny vibes

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven't, but I would be interested in seeing one of my fics translated!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! It's Come As You Are with picajc and @alemanriq, and this holds a special place in my heart

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

404 error. I have too many, but for now it's Lin/Tenzin

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Probably Olvídame y Pega La Vuelta just bc I lost the vision for it

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think emotions are a big part of my writing process and it comes through in my fics. I channel my own emotions into my writing and it does leave a more profound impression.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes I want my writing perfect in the first draft, and it stops me from just enjoying the process. Recently, I've been wanting to write and that has manifested into writing for "results" rather than quality. I mean, I still try to write my best and for the fun of it. It's just that work sucks my energy and the time I have left for myself is recharging 😭

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I need more context with this question. Does this mean if I do something like this:

Lin and Tenzin raised their brows at the girl with the electronic device.

"어머, 죽겠다! 린베이퐁과 텐진 진짜 앞에 있다," she said aloud, though the language is not her mother tongue. "어떡해...인스타로 올리겠지"

In general, I would be open to it because it can open up new pathways for writing

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Meet The Robinsons

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I don't think I have one. For the most part, if I want to write for a fandom, I just do it lol

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Choices, Chances, Changes. I swear a divine force guided me into writing this bc I was so compelled to bring it to life. The updates were posted every few days, and the story was completely written in 6 months.

There were 21 chapters.

Also, it was the first fic I completed in like 14 years (omg I sound old now 💀)

Thanks @sheepwithspecs for tagging me! 💜