#this was honestly a bit scary to write.. Like I said this idea was kind of cringey but hey! Im a horror fan as much as I love cartoons!

[firefl1ezz]

i just. hit s+ rank in splatoon and i never honestly thought this would happen?? am i cool now.. do i get to be a part of the s4? do i get to be watered down to my running joke all the time?

[inkskinned]

even 2 years ago people still said autism with a whisper. it was also how people sometimes whisper lesbian, like they're afraid of uttering a slur. autistic was either an insult or it was something terrible, a horrible burden only select people endure. "select people" were usually 9 year old boys and skinny white men.

they are not hispanic young adults with a dog and a life and friends. i can make (sustained, calculated, painful) eye contact. with certain people, i don't even have to count how many seconds i am holding their vision - i can just look at them. i can wear clothes that bother me, i will just have a worse day than usual. i might cry about any changes to my schedule - but change is scary! this is normal!

when i was 16 it was OCD. i mean that was the thing everyone said. i totally have ocd. they would arrange 6 colors of gel pen in rainbow order (no worry for indigo feeling left out) and they'd be "so ocd" about it.

if you struggle with intrusive thoughts, be careful at this next paragraph, but. at 16 i developed a compulsion that involved self-harm. my ocd was convinced i was simply forgetting that i'd hurt someone terribly - a thought that persisted for no clear or delineated reason.

at some point i will probably write about how the idea of "morally pure thoughts" was hell for me and others with ocd, but this was the odd dichotomy for many of us: they liked our "aesthetic", but were genuinely repulsed by our lived experience. "intrusive thoughts" now means "cutting your hair in the sink" instead of talking yourself down from believing horrible things. "so ocd" is a label without any true understanding.

it's something i've talked about before - in multiplicity - but i firmly believe in the veracity and necessity of self-diagnosis. i think it saves lives and it saves tragedies from occurring. as someone raised in a house that wasn't safe, self-diagnosis was, for many years, the only viable option. 15 and honestly googling: am i depressed or there demons affecting my behavior.

but it is not genuine self-diagnosis anymore, most of the time. it is a strange, blanched version of that whispered word autism. now certain traits are constantly seen as "autistic" - any passing intense interest. any flubbed social interaction. people say it while laughing - a touch of the 'tism.

and i like the acceptance! i do. i like that people are talking about it. i like that if i self-identify, more people speak up and say me too, bitch. but there is something-else quietly happening, the way it happened to OCD. the quirky, "fun" parts have been washed and sanitized and removed of all suffering. now it is just something that makes you "a little bit silly."

it took me 27 years on this planet before i learned to make friends. something about me just seems incredibly odd, i guess, some kind of radiation monitoring. someone once (in a way that was almost friendly) told me i am doing the right things, but in a way that's off-putting. i have scoured myself raw attempting to be charming.

someone on tiktok does a deep dive into their particular passion. the top comment says "what kind of autism is this lol". like we are a breed of animal. like it has no influence on our experience. like our life is a fresh breeze, an open meadow.

more often for me, life was a drowning.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hewo I know Halloween is over but may I have TADC cast x Jack Skellington!Reader? Plus their dog also got transported and turned into Zero.

Imagine an 11ft tall skeleton rising out the giant ballpit thing

If Jax or Caine pisses them off they do the scary face thing

TADC cast x jack skellington! Type reader!

I dont mention the dog much since I dont really. Have many ideas for them <\3

Also I have not seen nightmare before Christmas in YEARS so UHUH! This may be a bit off

Written on mobile

I'm down with the sickness but the sickness is not down with me (too sore to sleep)

CAINE:

You guys walk bubble and your dog together/j

Actually no that would be.. kind of funny.. I can definitely see caine doing that if hes trying to befriend you

Chaotic gentleman (is that a thing? Honestly I'm just basing the gentleman part on the fact caine says stuff like "my dear" and goes out of his way to welcome new circus members but uhuh) and calm gentleman duo

Things happen

Honestly I think you would balance him out, like either he tones down or you compliment his personality enough to make it more bearable to others

POMNI:

Similar to the skeleton reader post, pomni is a little offput by you being a skeleton. It's like how you instinctively get freaked out when you see an exposed brain, usually means somethings very wrong. Same case with your bones I think. At least for pomni while shes getting used to things. Though your gentle and kind demeanor really helps ease things along, and pomni finds herself comfortable around you!

AND you come with a dog? Tbh I can see pomni being a dog person

... If that's your dog, assuming it's not an NPC, does that mean your dog got a mini headset...?

RAGATHA:

Kind lady and kind person. You guys kind of just brighten up the room whenever you two are around, and even more so if you're together... though, that isn't saying much given the general attitude of the others..

You both tend to band together to look out for the others during IHAs, I think

Let's you rattle on about your interests; I'm sure most others would let you do the same, but I think Ragatha would actually be actively engaged in it! I think Kinger would be too...

Sets you three down in a corner and observes

JAX:

Writing this down first before I forget but Jax would do an exaggerated fake scream when you do the scary face thing. I don't think jax would be all the phased by it. If you're a skeleton you're cursed with him trying to undo your bones, very similar to the TADC cast x skeleton reader post from a few days ago

Personality wise? Jax is going to try to find your limits and break them. Oh you're a gentleperson who handles things with grace? Not for long.. unless you have the patience and forgiveness of a god

KINGER:

I think he would enjoy your prescence! Just dont do the face thing around him, hes probably gonna freak out even if it's not directed towards him. Kinger doesnt strike me as the type to like scary things..

Pets your dog, a lot

Emotional support animal/j but actually I can see him becoming attatched to your dog

Not much to be said here but I'm chalking that more up to me being tired <\3

ZOOBLE:

Is a little annoyed by your enthusiasm to learn as much as you can about whatever topic ha syour interest; bonus if you're current interest is the digital world and trying to figure out all the ins and outs of it

....they're more of a cat person, I think... ir maybe a snake person... or reptile person in general.. doesnt hate your dog, though

Can at least appreciate your mannerisms and politeness

I can see you two being decent friends , I think

GANGLE:

Another one where I think you guys could make decent friends. Honestly, I didnt write this to be romantic (though some of these can be interpreted as such!) But I wholeheartedly believe gangle would develop a crush on you. I mean, come on! You're a gentleman, you're a lil quirky, you're kind and curious, and so on! Bonus if you look the part, too. I have a hc lying around somewhere where I believe gangle used to play dating sims in the real world and tbh. She would definitely go after characters that reflected you... and oh look youre a real person, hell yeah

It was either characters like you or the dark mysterious ones

But maybe I'm hella projecting onto gangle

Gangle is our x reader enjoyer rep/hj

[witchinatree]

making a list of my favorite quote/ones that stuck with me from each season 1 episode because i feel like it

(i'm starting this after episode 4 but it will be a WHILE before i post it)

episode 1: "bones are a lie peddled by Big Milk" - alice

i love this one because it's a great introduction to alice i think. also it radiates spiral so i hope we get avatar alice not dead alice (isnt there a podcast called alice isnt dead?)

episode 2: "If I wanted to clear the canvas, I would have used turpentine." - statement

this one was just fucking powerful and caught me so off guard like 😶

episode 3: "What would I do without her?" - statement

the norris statement <3 it feels like martin asking what he would do without jon which makes mag200 a lot sadder and i love them

episode 4: "Perhaps you shall prove a stronger will than I, and will yet find it within yourself to destroy this hungry thing of wood and cat-gut." - statement

augustus sighting #1 and we immediately get jonah magnus expressing that it may be possible for gwen bouchard unknown family member to overcome the eye's hunger spooky violin

episode 5: "Voyeur needs to be seen to be believed." - statement

i feel like this one is pretty reflective of how the seasons gonna go? like if you explain the events of tma (mag200 specifically) no one's gonna believe you, it must be seen to be believed!! and also seen!! like the eye!!!

episode 6: "Not sca- This isn’t some poxy blood test, some little pinprick, this is hundreds, thousands of razor sharp points pushing into your flesh." - needles

i love needles so much and i thought this was really funny because it was like "you dont find me scary!! what the fuck!!!" just kind of toddler michael energy

episode 7: "It’s not like we’re wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." - celia

STOP IT. celia you can't say that you just cannot!!!!!! you Know™ too much maam i cant with you

episode 8: "Pleasure to meet you both. I’m Gerry!"

RAGHHHHH OH MY GOD GERRY!!!! i love him so much and idk how to handle him being alive in the tmagp universe!! gertrude too but idk we got so much of her in tma and not nearly enough of gerry

episode 9: "And honestly, it’s kind of compelling by this point." - sam

they got him 😔😔 the horrors got sam 😔😔 also i found this to be an interesting contrast to jon's heavy resistance in season 1 like he was being compelled but he wasn't going to let anyone know that vs sam "its kinda compelling to trauma dump on this paperwork :]" how is he somehow even more victim material

episode 10: "Gosh you’re sexy, here’s a twenty for your trouble.” - alice

does this count as a quote if shes also quoting what she thinks sam should say? idk anyway i love her i would say that to her if given the chance and it was very silly. i will not be addressing bonzo i am scared.

episode 11: "...Thank you, Alice" - gwen

dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard. okay also, the way she CRUMBLED at the idea of anyone doing anything nice for her please someone give her a hug and let it be ME. this series is tossing me back and forth between sam & alice (what is their ship name) and dyhard but this put me back to dyhard

episode 12: "You know it's rude to have absolutely no game?" - alice

she's so fucking funny i need her to be okay so badly!!!! i don't think even tim made me laugh as much as she makes me chuckle and this one really got me. it's hard to write such a comedic character in a podcast since you only have the voice but they really nailed it i adore her

episode 13: "Is it my fault?" - gwen

each of these episodes just reveal a little bit more about how loving and soft gwen is and idk i love her so unbelievably much so seeing that she felt guilt about the bonzo stuff just made her so much more real :(

episode 14: "Christ, they’re in the walls…" - statement

theyre in the walls!!! theyre in the goddamn walls!!!!! anyway that got me because i realized the hole before the statement said it. made more sad than scared tbh

episode 15: "Babies are cool!" - alice this entire interaction between her and sam & celia was so awkward, she is so obvious and i love her anyway

episode 16: "It’s not like I was holding doors open for Mr Bonzo or anything." - gwen my wife is so so so stupid but i adore her AND this gives room for character development. i wish she did not do that though. i love when characters are flawed and have depth but i struggled to get past THIS flaw of hers

episode 17: "Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the same, though, is it?" - celia shes talking TO JON IN THE COMPUTER. SHE KNOWS. i lost my damn mind i love her i love her. get the gay people out of the puter please queen

episode 18: "Why would I need to talk to you? Your work is satisfactory. Unless you have a work-related issue I could assist you with?" - lena solidified my opinion that lena is the best boss to ever have, i adore her and i would want to work for her if she wasn't the boss of Creepy Establishment #1

episode 19: "You’re going to throw it in the fishtank, aren’t you?" - alice colin's behavior is like really worrying BUT i'm glad he's back. i was not convinced he was still alive

episode 20: "I suppose it’s too late for remorse, isn’t it? And why should I be sorry? This is what I deserve!" - ink5oul/statement they reminded me of jon a lot, like especially his season 3/4 transformation when he doesn't quite know everything but he knows he isn't who he was in season 1 anymore, i hope we see more of their life and they can be helped :(

episode 21: [Tape Recorder Bites Ink5oul] - audio description i know it's not technically a quote but this is just so fucking funny. why does it have teeth. what does this mean for the lore. holy shit.

episode 22: "Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood" - celia. knawing at the walls of my enclosure i am so not okay. i'm not okay. wtf. wtf. wtf. they're real. wtf.

episode 23: "I had a favorite mug. It said “love you, bitch” and had a picture of a drunk dog on it." - alice. okay i just love this entire interaction because gwen got to open up a little bit and my dyhard heart is so full

episode 24: "I am told that children like me, and I’ve always held the opinion that the world would be a better place if everyone just thought more." - basira. once again this whole interaction was so fun but like idk i loved hearing basira somewhat happy and in a safe place :] my wife <3

episode 25: " I am trying to help, to save us from this goddamned fucking nightmare machine!" - colin. MAN I REALLY WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!!! I WAS SO CONFIDENT YOU WEREN'T GONNA DIE!!!! it's over

episode 26: "I was worrying for a moment that you were Magnussing." - alice. MAGNUSSING BEING CANON MADE ME SAY IT EVEN MORE I'VE SAID IT LIKE TWICE ALREADY

episode 27: "You didn’t tell me the room was labelled, “Archivist.”" - celia. oooooh somebody's got TRAUMAAAAA LMAO

episode 28: "So you’re telling me you know nothing about an OIAR external contract being found with the bodies of two tattooed thugs who met rather grisly ends?" - TREVOR HERBERT???? anyway. ink5oul mention!!!!! i hope they stop killing people it's really rude

episode 29: "Alice, er… we’ve got to talk. It’s important." - teddy. i knew it was over for him but i didn't think it was gonna be THIS bad??? bye babe i guess??? 😭

episode 30: how do i even pick. the whole fucking episode. i can't. i am in a state of shock. i need to lay down for 30 years.

[gauloiseblue]

Hellgate

[+18 | MDNI]

2!Dante × Reader

If someone asked you what kind of hints you were citing to him, you’d only blush and refuse to answer it. And you’re ready to bet that their innocent minds can only come up with the purest form of sex, while in reality, you really want to reduce your boyfriend into a sobbing mess.

It might be something that he discovered along the way, or how the evidence slowly mounted up and his brain finally made a connection. Either way, the hints that you’ve been dropping since God knows when were finally noticed.

Well, it’s not that you’re passive-aggressively sending him a signal, and sitting back hoping that he’d pick it up. You just don’t want to frighten him, because the idea of surrendering one’s control can be really scary. Especially for a tough guy like Dante. Oh, you're definitely going to use that nickname against him.

When he finally addresses the matter—or more like confronting you about your eagerness to take the lead, you just smile at him. Even a Devil can’t escape the conventional education of sex.

Now, if we pick his brain apart, you’ll see that he has every side of him arguing. His dismay would shout a hard ‘NO’ at him, while his poor confusion would try to make out the situation. Maybe his adventurous side would shrug and say why not?, and his ego would try to smother it with a pillow. But where’s the part of him that loves you? Well, he’s the one who silences them all.

“It’s just a suggestion.” You nonchalantly said, “I don’t mind sticking with our usual way, but why don’t you try it once and see if you like it or not?”

He didn’t answer right away, as you’d expect it. But give it 5 days maximum, and he’ll get down to it. But how can you be so sure? The answer is, you just know.

Call it a lover’s intuition, but you can see through his mind. And it’s a hell of wreckage.

An explanation might be offered, but you might as well write an essay about it. Let’s dive into the haywire thoughts of his. Dante is a traditional kind of lover, and he’d prioritize your pleasure before his. Even when you get on top of him, and straddling him with your hips, he’d still try to hold back. But you knew that he wanted to cum so bad.

He’s the perfect example of Gary Stu, because never in your life you see a little bit of his weakness. Well, you did, but they’re a lovable weakness so they didn’t count. This side of him might be some kind of a dream come true (for some people), but not in your case. You just hated it. Because if he doesn’t let you see the tender side of him, it means that he doesn’t trust you completely.

This man might have the biggest trust issue you ever encounter, even rivaling his enormous insecurities. Yes, yes, you know. He had his reason, but you had yours too. You don't want to always be on the receiving end, you want to take care of him as well. He always exceeds your expectations, and he keeps building a new wall every time he does it. As if he's afraid that you'd leave him, after you see what's past behind his strong facade.

It's exhausting, for both of you. He can't keep lying like this, and you can't always pretend that it's totally fine. You've tried to encourage him to open up before, but it's no success. So this time, you're going to push him beyond his limit instead. In short, you're going to teach him some lessons. And maybe, by some miracles, he'll finally realize that what he’s done would only hurt the two of you.

At first, you see the refrain in his eyes. He's afraid, and of course he's afraid. You literally asked him to hand you his control, and who knows what he'd do during the act. What if he whines, or even begging you to let him finish? That'd be so embarrassing.

Then, comes the curiosity. What's the worst that could happen? He's a tough guy after all (honestly, you're still laughing whenever you try to narrate his thoughts), he can handle it. You’ve promised him that you wouldn’t do anything that makes him uncomfortable. And as long as he remembers, you never made him feel that way.

But here comes the fear. It’s the shortest period, but it clearly leaves the most impact on him. What if, somehow, you lose your interest in him afterwards? What if he does something so shameful that you never want to speak of it? What if you find it disgusting? What if, what if, what if…

Thankfully, he manages to snap out of it.

Anyway, he goes through that cycle again and again. Days passed, and you waited patiently for him to decide. To be fair, you don’t mind if he refuses the proposal. But it’d feel like a step back in your relationship, and he’d end up putting another wall around him.

Day 4 after the initial discussion, he comes to you. It’s just past dinner, and you’re lounging on the sofa. He approaches you, with his hands in his pockets. You pretend to immerse yourself into your novel, before lifting your head up when he’s standing by the couch.

Of course, he’s having a second thought, and it reflects in his eyes. But he manages to muster up courage and asks you,

“If I say yes, what are you going to do to me?”

And you close your book, “Do you trust me?”

“I do, but I have to know—” He corrected himself when you lifted your novel again, “I do.”

“I want to try something new, and it’s gonna be all about you.” You told him, “But I think it’s wise to lay down some rules.”

“Tell me.”

“First, we have to choose a safeword. If it gets too much, you can stop it by saying the word.” You explained briefly, “Second, you have to be honest with me. When you don’t feel comfortable, or you don’t find it enjoyable anymore, you have to tell me, by using the word."

He didn't say anything, as he pressed his knuckles against his lips. He looks the other way, and you can figuratively hear the gears rolling in his head. "Alright." He muttered out, "But I can't think of any words yet."

"It should be specific, like something you wouldn't say during a normal conversation." You suggested, "You can use flowers, or anything really."

But knowing him for years, you know he wouldn't come up with such an easy word. He'd spend the whole day thinking of asking you a trivial thing, before he decided to do it tomorrow. This man would take anything too seriously, even when it's just a silly line. You really think he'd choose a rare word, like subrosa, lucent, or some sort of ancient epithet. Until you hear him say, "Hellgate."

You blinked in surprise. Hellgate. It didn't even cross your mind, how clever.

For most people, it might be just a term. But for both of you, it has developed from a simple shout to a warning. The two of you have used it, until it changed its meaning. It shifted from 'Beware, it’s a gate of hell!' to 'Absolute no go'. And when he said it to you, it conveys; It's not safe, we shouldn't go there.

"Hellgate." You repeated, "We'll use that." You push yourself up, before you extend your arm toward him, "Come, let's take it upstairs."

—

He didn't flinch when you fastened the rope, even when it dug into his skin. "Too tight?" You asked as you loosened the bind around his arms.

"You can go tighter."

"No, I don’t want to make your hands numb.”

You let out a huff as you redo the ties on his back. Not even a minute has passed, and you already run into the first problem. Dante doesn’t know his own limit or discomfort, and it’s making your guesswork harder.

“There we go.” You said as you tied the final knot.

Almost instinctively, he tries to tug his hand to test the strength. “You know I can easily break free from it right?”

“Try not to.”

He let out an amused snort, which tempted you to do the same. But you keep your facade and smile.

You touch his bare skin gently, and he sighs as he begins to relax. Your fingers trail from his chest, down to his stomach, and they pause right above his jeans. He draws a sharp breath when your hand slips under the underwear, “Do you mind?” You asked him, while fiddling with the button. He nods, just as impatient as the bulge inside his pants.

The zipper rustled down, and your hands quickly worked on his jeans. He looks away when you pull the pants down, along with his brief. Even when sex has been a part of the routine, he’s still somewhat shy when it comes to nudity.

“Lay down.” You told him as you gently pushed him to the bed. As he settles down, you begin to pile up the pillows behind him. “Look up for me.” You said as you raised his chin.

You reach into your pocket, and take a hold of the bundled piece of fabric. A look of surprise crosses his face as you unravel the blindfold, and you carefully wrap it around his head. “Is it really necessary?” He timidly asked, while you adjusted the cloth around his eyes.

“Yes." You press him against the pillows, "Like I said earlier, it's all about your pleasure."

He didn't protest further, even when you placed the earmuffs on his head. Although it's not going to prevent him from hearing your voice, as long as you keep quiet, he won't be able to tell where you are.

Climbing down the bed, you then walk to the nightstand. You rummage through the drawer, and find the plastic box beneath the magazines. Inside the case, there's a medium sized silver ring with adjustable width. Plus one remote control. Well, after knowing the exact size of his cock, the adjustable part surely comes in handy.

The bed dips as you return to his side, and he flinches when you touch his face. “Relax.” You assured him, and he slowly calmed down. Not for long though, as the clasp of the ring releases a clicky sound. Your hands work on adjusting the toy, before you wrap it around his cock.

“What did you put on me?”

“Vibrating cock ring.” You uttered with a smirk, “It’s going to keep your dick up until we’re done.”

He heaves a sigh, “Since when did you buy it?”

“Guess, tough boy.” You chuckled as you kissed his cheek. With the remote in your hand, you test the lowest setting on him.

He gasps when the ring starts to vibrate, which rouses his member up. You let it on for a half minute, before you turn it off.

“How was it?”

“... It’s fine.”

“Good.” You replied as you stepped away from the bed. You flop down on the chair by the bed, which gives you a full view of him. “Remember what we talked about before? Do you remember the safeword?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. If you’re uncomfortable, or you need to stop, just say it out loud.”

He nods.

You look at him once again, and observe how his chest rises and falls. He’s nervous, if it’s not so obvious already. You wanted to tease him a little more, but you didn't want to scare him. Fiddling with the controller, you flick the switch to number two.

Almost in an instant, his body jolts from the stimulation. Though it's more of the abruptness rather than the pleasure itself. But as the shock subdued, the feeling began to build up in the pit of his stomach. It starts slow, and you raise one more level.

He hisses when the toy's setting is getting higher, and his cock begins to swell. He bites his lip, trying to suppress his moan. Alas, you can hear it from his breath. Not sure if he can hear you smirking, but you're barely able to contain yourself. The sight of him is such a feast for your eyes. You finally get why he's eager to please you first, because the reaction from the receiver is worth watching.

You reach into your pants, but you hesitate. You're unsure if you should do it, as you might have missed some of the signs he's showing. The least thing you wanna do is ignoring his subtle stop.

After a short contemplation, you decide to watch him only. You lean back, and prop your head against your hand. You notice his legs tremble slightly, and you pick up the pace for one level. Which makes him throw his head to the back, and moans loudly. His toes start to curl, and his hips move in a jerking motion.

His first orgasm comes with quite an eruption, as his cum spurts out to his abdomen. The opaque liquid glistens on his skin, which makes him look even dirtier. You lean forward, while biting your nail. He looks absolutely ravishing, and you'd jump on him if not because of your self-control.

Helping him ride his orgasm down, you set the setting to three. It will help him recover from high, while keeping the rhythm going. He sighs heavily, before his breath hitches up when he feels the soft vibrations. "(Y/N)—" He called out, but you didn't answer.

Your quietness confuses him for a second, as he can't hear your breath. Not even a sound that can indicate your presence. But you didn't let him think too much, and you immediately hit the second highest setting.

The jump of the beat startles him, and it takes a moment before his numb member gains its sensitivity again. When it happens, the build-up pleasures hit him all at once. And he almost screams when the toy mercilessly pulses around his cock. "(Y/N) please—" He choked up, as his body went stiff.

He's gripping at the pillow, trying so hard not to break the rope. Every muscle in his body becomes prominent, and his dick is red and veiny from the strain. You press your hand against your lips, in an attempt to conceal your smile. The blindfold and the earmuffs really help to reduce his sensory function. Leaving him only with his sense of touch, and smell it seems.

The sight of him arouses you, as you feel yourself wet. He pauses when his nose picks up the scent of your arousal. You notice the cue, and immediately cross your leg. “How long are we going to do this?” He muttered out between the gasps. Still, you refrain yourself from speaking. But even when you didn’t say it out loud, you both already knew the answer.

His shout rips out from his throat when he feels the speed is increasing. Your thumb has set the remote to the highest setting, and you sat back, watching.

He calls out your name again, along with him begging you to speak. But you keep your voice still. You narrowed your eyes on him. The pleasure that he feels will soon turn into pain, and it’s going to be excruciating for him. One orgasm turns into two, and he’s unable to keep his position straight as time goes by.

It’s just one word, really. Hellgate. And you’d immediately stop. For some unknown reason, he didn’t say it. The thought of it just pops up in your mind, as you notice the discomfort in his manner. The buzz from the ring is slightly muffled by his thighs when he curls up. With his heightened sense, and constant stimulation, he’s soon coming with a loud groan.

This time, it’s more unforgiving as the pace stays the same. You didn’t turn down the level of vibration, as your eyes fixated on him. His body is glistening with sweat and his own release—both dried and sticky. Then he sinks into the fort of pillows, while he squirms and moans. But still, he doesn’t yield. Part of you—your inner detective—knows the reason, and it’s not good. He’s an attentive lover, and he could figure out what you want in a second. Yet this time, it’s completely wrong. Based on your reaction, he drew a conclusion that you like watching him in this state. It’s half-true, but it’s not your intention to set up such a play for a selfish reason.

On the seventh counts of his climax, he’s become barely coherent. His semen has stained his body and the bedsheet, and some of them even spewed out to the pillows. If he was certain that you’re there in the room with him before, he couldn’t be sure of it anymore. You kept everything just the same, no movement, no talk, and not even a sound.

Just how long is he gonna keep the act? He’s almost at his limit, even when he hasn’t broken the restraint. It’s pitiful to watch, as the blindfold becomes wet with both tears and sweats. Though you initially enjoyed the view—maybe your inner sadist still enjoys seeing that—it quickly got to the point where you’re more concerned than aroused.

Once again, his body convulses as another wave of pleasure hits him. His cock was in the shade of angry red, as it wept out his cum. The white string of fluid oozes out from the tip of his dick like a stream, dripping down on his inner thigh. You did it, you made him into a sobbing mess, just like he always did to you. But with your hand fidgeting nervously on the controller, you’re beginning to think if you should put it to stop.

“(Y/N), I can’t—” He cried out, “Turn it down.”

Just like that, he puts you in a dilemma. You don’t want to continue it any longer, and doing as he said can lead you to a longer playtime. That’s not your intention, because you just want him to understand, and you want him to say it—

His voice snaps you from your thoughts, and you blink as you realize that he’s repeating the same word. “Hellgate.” He quietly whimpers, as if he’s surrendering himself, “Hellgate.”

It takes two seconds for you to register it, before you’re fumbling with the remote to turn it off. The sigh of relief falls from his mouth, as he collapses on the bed. His breath is heavy, and every fiber in his body seems to shrivel, while exhaustion takes over him.

With caution, you make it to his side and touch his arm. His body jerks at the sudden contact, and you softly mutter to him.

“Shh, it’s just me.” You gently remove the earmuffs and the blindfold, “How are you feeling?”

His teary eyes search up your face, before your smile comes to his view. You roll him over, and begin to undo the bind that you put on him. It leaves a little bit of marks on him, but it’d probably disappear in a minute.

As you reach to pull the ring, he pushes you to the mattress before you can even touch it. Your eyes widen in surprise when he crushes his lips against you, and his hands frantically hold the side of your face. The kiss that you both share is almost hungry, as he presses his mouth closer without giving you a room to breathe.

The stains on the cover stick to your skin uncomfortably, but it slips from your mind when his kisses prove to be a hell of distraction. You regain your control after a while, and quickly work on getting the ring off his cock. He moans at the friction, but his lips are reluctant to part from you yet. He only pulls away from the kiss to murmurs against your lips, "It's awful." He frowned, "I don't want to do it again."

"Okay." You mused as you caressed his hair, "We won't do it again. But you should know that I did it for a reason."

His brows then furrowed, "What do you mean?"

"I did it because I want you to know what I felt." You confessed, "You always gave me so much, but I never felt your presence at all. Only pleasures, but never you."

Your words seem to affect him as his face turns gloom, "So you didn't like the way we had sex?"

"God, no! That's not what I meant. It's just that… I want you to enjoy it as well. You're always trying to make sure that I'm satisfied, but you never even thought of yourself." You smile at him before you kiss his cheek, "I love you, alright? And I want to make you feel good as well."

It's something that has been said before, and you've told him several times. But in this particular moment, he finally understands what you're trying to express. He seems to be taken aback by the idea, and it makes him uneasy. "I'm sorry." It's all he could say.

"It's okay." You pull him to face you before he can turn away. His clear irises stare back into you, and you see guilt. "Just don't ignore me next time."

He nods, and he relents when you tug him closer to kiss him again. He doesn't even fight it when you roll him over, though you suspect it's more because of his exhaustion and muddled mind. But you trust him.

By the end of the day, as you both lay down side by side, completely spent but satisfied, he murmurs something to you. A smile blooms on your face as you peck his lips. Even if he felt compelled to say those words, there's no question that he meant what he said.

[memberment]

good morning everyone

yes it's 7pm.

no I did not just wake up for the day, but I did just wake up from a nap and honestly all I really did was read trashy webtoons and get like 500 words out meanwhile I have homework due at 3am so I might as well have just woken up.

idk y'all I was rlly sleepy today.

I got through a bunch of fun in Morning Glory but I think I'm switching back over to Revelations again bc lowk I think I can only write so much fluff before I'm like okay where the fuck is the plot???

Idk guys think I might be duo writing atp bc I get bored from things being too good and then devastated bc Revelations is lowk gut wrenching along with the scary shit LMAOO

whatever whatever updates here AFTER I get some of my work done bc goddamn, am I behind.

(12:11) so guys I totally did shit on my physics test but ngl actually kind of understanding what I was doing made me feel like god's favorite questionably gendered royalty so I think I'm gonna force myself to learn physics.

but tomorrow because I actually just spent like five hours working on pulling myself together for said test and I'm kinda dead inside. I'm going back to working on Revelations in the meantime. I'm gonna post Tweek's guide either like later or what you folk constitute as tomorrow (me personally, Tuesday is Tuesday but whatever) because I just do not have the energy to think up a chapter title at the moment. And I know I've mentioned this but y'all I am never waiting to make chapter titles again like they're just getting done as we go now. Summaries too bc FUCK THAT idk why I didn't think this would be an issue literally like THREE MONTHS AGO when these got finished god bless

(2:09) Revelations is at like 3.5k and lowk I am like DRAGGING my feet with this beginning chapter. Like, it's literally just this beginning bit I keep jumping back into my notes to write stuff from later in the fic LMFAOO

Like, I know once I get past 17 it's gonna go so fast but GODDDDD, trying to write the same things but ever so slightly different and then some different events entirely thrown in there is making my head hurt because idk like what exactly I want to include. Like, yes, we get our boys finalizing their contracts. BUT NOW WHAT. LIKE AM I FLESHING OUT THIS ENTIRE MEET UP????

DOES KENNY ACTUALLY EXPLODE AT SAID MEET UP OR AM I MAKING AN EXCUSE FOR THIS???

Bc I do kinda want everyone to see Clyde break his arm for the first time on page. (Speaking of, him and Kenny are talking in this first chapter AND THEY'RE SO FUCKING AWKWARD LIKE IT'S ACTUALLY PAINFUL LMFAOOOO)

but ugh

yk what I'm going back to reading trashy webtoons for the next few business hours bc my best ideas seem to come to me at twilight and it is 2am. LATER!

(6:15) I've decided to force myself to post guide. I swear to god I need like a calendar person to scream at me when I don't post LMAOOOO LIKE I DA WILL FORGET

(6:52) Guys I have re-fallen in love with Lost, my god.

[anonymoushotsexyperson]

Thinking a lot about how the inevitability of death is not talked about.

I know you got attention span issues pookie bear so I split this post into sections and you can read whatever your most into if you can't do the whole thing ^_^

SECTION 1 my first encounters with the idea of dying.

I wish I could literally hug John Green for writing the fault in our stars. People can say it's sappy or whatever but it is one of the only mainstream forms of media that successfully acknowledges the inevitability of death and the lack of control we have over it. Though it took a lot more than TFIOS to wake me up to the conversation of dying.

The first time I realized death was a thing I can remember so vividly. I was at least 4 years old, I forgot how the whole conversation went but I remember my dad saying

"well honey everyone has to die one day."

"even you and mom?"

"even me and mom."

He said it so casually while folding laundry in the kitchen not knowing my world view had just completely shattered 😀. I went into our shared bedroom ( I didn't have my own yet because POOR) and cried on my parents bed. I don't know what happened after that. I think I just shoved death into my back pocket and kept it pushing because it was too hard to really grasp at that age. It still is now, but it especially was then.

Section 2 Being someone aware of your mortality and not being able to cope with it.

I think about death a lot now, it's been a reoccurring visitor in my brain since covid. It surprises me that the average Joe doesn't think about death all the time considering the current climate of our world. Im not gonna lie i've developed a bit of thanatophobia (death anxiety). This is because I have always dug myself out of my depressive episodes using knowledge and through that knowledge, understanding my relationship to the world helped me fall involve with living in it. The idea that one day this experience will end and regardless of what you believe whether it's in heaven or reincarnation or whatever we really don't know what's coming next or if there is a next. I don't think i'd necessarily be too keen with an afterlife as well as the idea that an afterlife doesn't exist. Both seem pretty ass, because if there's an after life cool but like what happens after that? You telling me i'm just here for ALL ETERNITY NIGGA? But also the concept of just dying and thats just... it? Kinda stupid and DUMB if you ask me. I think what im really looking for here is control.

Section 3 Does no one talk about death because of capitalism?

Apart of me believes that this thing where people around me tend to avoid the conversation of death or respond like an npc when I do get them to speak about it is due to western cultures obsession with capitalism and power. Because if you contemplate your existence and how both big and small it is, all this capitalism shit becomes kind of extremely fictitious and ridiculous. Like yeah maybe people just don't talk about it because its SCARY but also what if it's so scary because we done talk about it and because we are wasting our lives as wage slaves and in some areas of the world, literal slaves. Also this makes me think a lot about how religions are used as a weapon of conservatism instead of respected as a philosophical and metaphysical analysis of the human experience. There is honestly so many examples of religion-especially religions associated with colonialism-being used to control people. This can be seen and interpreted many ways and most if not all of the most obvious interpretations probably ring true. But what i'm really attempting to segue into here is that religion is uses as a weapon by the powerful in all sorts of ways but the idea that it is used to keep us from pondering death instead of exploring what it's like is something ive been thinking about a lot. You can argue some religious folks specifically follow religion to relieve death anxiety and its always been that way but I think that it now exists on a dissociative level.

Also, the ignorant American I am, I couldn't tell you the part about western civilization playing a big role is from an informed experience it's more so a studious guess. I don't really know what the vibes in other countries are like when it comes to dying I have not gained enough international knowledge and experience yet. So thats where you come in reader. YES you. What do you think?

QOTD: why do you think the conversation around death and the inevitability of it is so hush hush? Where do you believe we 'go' after and how does that make you feel? If you are apart of a non western civilization do you see a cultural difference in our experiences?

[aclowntiny]

The Wind Again- Jongho x Paranormal Investigator!Reader (Gender Neutral)

Hello I just found the concept of Jongho as the token skeptic on a paranormal show really funny ok? Like, look me in the eyes & tell me he wouldn't be

Word Count: 2670 | Humor, Slightly Spoopy | Warnings: some gruesome references, mentions of death & ghosts (obviously lol), one scary thing happens but no graphic violence or anything like that :)

“So, this hospital was once, shall we say, home to some investigative medicine.”

“Don’t tell me it’s another one of those places that used to rip people’s teeth out and stuff.”

Jongho had, if forcibly, read up on mental hospitals of the old days, the cruelty of which was often said to leave residual energy behind in the form of the tortured patients. Quite obviously he did not like it, but then, who did? You yourself shuddered at the thought.

“No, not teeth or anything, but they did perform lobotomies, which were a new, unexplored procedure at this time. Things like lobotomies and bloodletting were still considered possible treatments to a host of conditions.”

“Of course they were.” Jongho was always like this on camera…and sometimes off. A running joke on your youtube channel was that you’d convert him someday, but he just didn’t take the idea of the spirits people had experienced remaining in tragic places seriously. Not even out of being a hardcore science-minded person or some other form of personal arrogance, but out of never experiencing it himself. “How did they think taking a chunk out of people’s brains wouldn’t completely destroy their working functions?”

“The working hypothesis was something along the lines of amputating a shattered limb- pruning off that which didn’t serve the host.”

“Why do you have to say it like that? You sound like a serial killer,” Jongho complained, looking up at you from his seated position as you erased some more writing of your whiteboard.

“If you haven’t noticed,” you jerked your head towards the tripod in the corner of the room with a giggle, “we’re kind of making a show here.”

“I know. You work so hard.”

“Then listen to your professor,” you teased, tapping his shoulder with the soft velcro bit on the tip of your dry erase marker, “we’re learning about spooooooky stuff.” At that drawn-out syllable, you started waving your arms around, swaying side to side and bouncing on your knees.

Shaking his head, Jongho lost it, cracking up as you soon joined him. Perfect cut point for the video.

“You really do too much,” he wheezed.

“My pleasure,” you did a V pose and winked into the camera.

Unspooling your microphone and headphones, you started to record voiceovers for your video intro and hospital overview. You and Jongho were going there the next week with all your equipment, so some of that footage would be covered with your voice.

A while later, you were still speaking as Jongho sat watching you.

“And they say that many of the patients are still seeking treatment…to this day,” you announced in what you think is an ominous voice.

Jongho, however, burst out laughing again.

“Aw, come on, what was wrong with that?”

“You expect people to take that seriously?”

“I was trying to be spooky!”

“I know,” he patted your shoulder between chuckles.

Now it’s your turn to look up at him from your seat. “Is your job on this show to be funny?”

He shrugged, smiling down at you. “We do get lots of footage that way, don’t we?”

“Yes, we do,” you smiled back.

~

“What will you do if you see an apparition for the first time?” You asked Jongho as you guys pull up to the looming, sprawling, ivy-snaked expanse that was your overnight destination.

“I’ll fight it.”

“You’re going to fight a ghost?”

“No, I’d just leave it alone. What’s it going to do to me?”

Honestly, it wasn’t even frustrating having Jongho around on investigations- almost all the fear you could have had at entering a dark, dilapidated, and condemned space said to house tortured souls faded in the face of companionship, especially drily hilarious companionship. Jongho was so assured that everything was fine, he was like a living shield from anything that could pop out of the shadows at you.

That didn’t mean it wasn’t creepy, though. “Oh geez, what was that?” Jumping slightly, you turned the camera down a doorway.

“Uh, the wind?” Jongho replied.

“It sounded like something getting slid along the floor!” You said, shaking your head as you took a tentative step forward.

“Yeah, probably all these leaves all over the floor when the wind hits them.” Squinting into his night vision camera, he pointed across the lobby. “Or that tarp flapping in the corner over there.”

Alright, you’d give him that one. “Ok, we can debunk that. But we should really keep going. Room 52 is a couple floors up.”

Room 52 was the token ‘most haunted room in the building’, the place where supposedly an especially violent patient’s life ended. It was said that people heard him tell them to get out and even saw him standing over them when they woke up in the middle of the night. Or just had sleep paralysis, Jongho had mused.

“Right, is that my room or yours?”

“Well, you’re a buff guy, he might be more intimidated by you.”

“So you want me in there to provoke him?” He asked with a teasing smile. “You want some content of me trying to box him?”

“Well, at least ask him some questions,” you shoved his shoulder gently, “you’ve got a recorder in your pocket.”

“I’ll ask him how many people he killed and if he wants to add one.”

“Now you’re becoming an expert,” you praised him, shuffling out of the lobby and into a wing of operating rooms.

“Is there anyone in here with me?” You posed into the cold, breezy room, which still had pale blue curtains racked around the rusty beds. The way they rustled faintly sent shivers down your spine.

You waited. Nothing was palpable or audible to you, but that’s why you had the little silver rectangle that was your recording device in your hand- it was far more sensitive than your ears would ever be, and more believable too. A few more heartbeats passed.

“If you’re here with me, can you tell me how you died? What they did to you here? Did you get hurt?”

This time, you counted out a full minute, rewinding the recording after sixty seconds passed. Silence, rustling, you asking questions… muttering?

“Jongho, does this sound like anything to you?” You extended the device out to your channel partner, who held it up to his own ear. "Like two words?"

“If it’s words you’re looking for,” he replied, “sounds like ‘hurt me’?”

“If it’s words you’re looking for,” you repeated with a snort, “let me listen again.”

“It’s mostly garbled air. That's just the closest in-context thing that sound could be."

"You're just mad you heard it," you singsonged with a cattish smile.

"I'm not mad, just-"

"Skeptical," you imitated at the same time as he spoke.

"Yeah," he agreed, taking a few steps deeper into the OR and addressing the spirits, "how did they hurt you?"

Silence. Dead silence. Not a whisper on the air.

Before your skin could even crawl at the room’s still, the quiet, the musty, nearly suffocating air wafting odors of bygone years…a slamming sound had you jumping out of it.

“That was a door!”

“It sure sounded like it,” Jongho responded calmly as you ran out of the room, blood pumping in your ears.

“You set up the hallway cam, right?”

“Of course,” he replied, jogging after you.

Careening around the world’s creepiest gurney, footsteps echoing loudly around the high ceilings, you swerved into the hallway. Sure enough, a checkup room had a closed door.

You pointed. Jongho nodded, walking over to pull the small camera off its mount at the other end of the hallway. He pressed a few buttons as you ran over to his side, reviewing the footage to see that very door suddenly swing shut.

“Boom!” You exclaimed. “Look at that. They slammed the door!”

“They could be blown shut, too, you know.”

“The wind again?” You laughed, expression widening with incredulity. “Not everything can be the wind, you know. If you’re going to argue against ghosts you need something better than just saying the wind every time.”

“Alright, fine,” Jongho shrugged and smiled back impishly, “turn on the spirit box and I’ll explain to any new viewers why that’s baloney.”

“Hey! The spirit box provides shifting frequencies for the souls to manipulate-”

“It scans radio channels and spits out sounds. It did music once, (y/n).”

“Yeah, spooky piano music!”

“It could’ve been jazz.”

You crossed your arms as he re-mounted the camera at the end of the hall. “Why do I bring you on my investigations?”

“Because you’re too scared to go alone and like my ghost voice.”

“Yeah, do the ghost voice, do it!”

Jongho let out a series of wails you couldn’t take seriously, voice wobbling. When he was done, you were doubled over.

“See? Who else can do that?”

~

“Holy crap! Holy crap holy crap-” Your heart slammed and lungs burned, but you didn’t care, you just kept running. Panic had completely overtaken you.

“What’s wrong?” You heard Jongho’s voice from the other room. You’d split up to send him to film in Room 52, to ask the fabled violent male spirit everyone called ‘Han’ after he spelled that out on a viral ouija board video why he hurt people, if he felt like a man when he did that. If he really did scratch people.

Little did he know what was going on in room 64. “I- it touched me,” you panted, voice weak from fear and exertion.

“What?”

“I was in Room 64, sitting in the exam chair next to the bed. I asked if anyone wanted to talk to me, but I didn’t hear anything.” You shuddered. “Suddenly I…I saw a shadow dart, and as I got up from the chair I felt a hand grab me. Nothing’s ever touched me before,” you breath.

Jongho’s face steeled. “What room was this?”

“S- sixty-four,” you stammered. You wished you could be brave like him, “it really felt like a hand.”

Before you could say anything else, you saw what of his figure you could from his headlamp spread out, arms opening. “Come here,” he said, voice serious but soft.

You stepped forward into his strong embrace, letting him pull you against the firm warmth of his chest. Maybe you were overreacting, but it was jarring to have a hand reach for you in the dark, unseen fingers clamoring toward your chest and shoulders. It felt cold. It felt wrong. Jongho was the opposite; heat radiated from his hoodie and you could feel his heartbeat against the side of you, steady and comforting. Living. Familiar. Gentle.

“I’m sorry, you must think I’m being a baby. Just making up stories again,” you mumbled into his chest.

You could feel his head shake from where it rested on yours. “No,” his voice reverberated through his chest and your contact point against it, “even if I don’t believe in ghosts, your fear is real. Something made you feel that way. I’m going to go give Room 64 a piece of my mind.”

And he did. He barged right in, asked who was in there and what they thought they were doing grabbing at innocent people. “Just like Han, does that make you feel like a man? Or whatever you are?” It turned out he heard a hiss in response, but decided mot to tell you until you reviewed the footage, safe and sound in your studio, because you still had overnight in there to go.

~

Jongho insisted you guys pitch your sleeping bags in the same room rather than him sleeping in Room 52. “I already got some sound from Han,” he reassured you, “we had our fun. I think we should stay together.”

His words made your heart give a little leap. Your wish was granted in spite of content, both of you rolling out your little spaces of slick softness on the floor of room 2B, a maternity ward that wasn’t known for any malicious activity, mostly just things moving or the occasional woman’s voice. Some people even said the presences in there felt light, almost protective, so despite his skepticism Jongho was all for 2B.

“You think the mothers will look after us?” You asked him as you laid down.

“I think you’ll feel safer in this room,” Jongho replied simply, not taking the bait, but speaking earnestly and fondly.

“Sorry, everyone, maybe we’ll hear babies crying or something though,” you spoke into the camera, “besides, you saw, I captured a shadow figure.”

“No more about the shadow figure,” Jongho chided, making you giggle a little at his motherly tut.

“Alright, good point,” you agree before turning out to the beds lining the room and setting your recorder on the floor, “if you have anything you want to say to us, if you’d like to please tell us your name, the recorder is right here, mamas.”

“And babies,” Jongho added. You weren’t sure if he was teasing or not, but you echoed him.

“Want to sing to the ghosts?”

Your ghost-hunting partner grinned. “And give you a free lullaby in the process?”

You snuggled a little deeper into your sleeping bag, listening to it rustle all around you as its warmth enveloped your body. “Maaaybe.”

Jongho couldn’t resist your cute tone, you could tell. Shaking his head with a smile, he scooted a little closer to your bag, sitting on top of his and singing one of his favorite ballads. You took in his side profile as he did so- man, he really was amazing, wasn’t he?

The only activity you got in that room was a small clip of what sounded like a little girl’s voice singing too. Right at the same time as a little light drifted near Jongho. That one just brought you a smile.

~

“‘Wow, that shadow totally looked like an arm! That’s so scary, (y/n), sorry your first apparition came that way!’” You read a comment off your channel page to Jongho. “See? They thought it looked like an arm grabbing out too.”

“I couldn’t really see anything, but I agree with the rest of their comment.”

“Oh, and look at this one,” you scrolled it up into his view, pointing at the screen, “‘The two of them are the cutest couple I swear’, with that emoji that looks like this (😫),” you imitated the face.

“I see it,” Jongho chuckled, shifting to rest his arm along the back of your office chair, “there’s a lot like that. Someone else said they watch us for the OTP, not the ghosts.”

“Oh, internet,” you rolled your eyes, sardonic grin widening, “apparently you were looking at me with heart eyes half the time, too.”

He snorted. “Someone else said the same thing about you! Something about it’s always the ones that bicker that are in love.”

Your eyes fell off the screen, drifting over from the harsh backlight to the sheen of its reflection in Jongho’s eyes. His bore right back into yours, those beautiful eyelashes fluttering. “Should we tell them?” You ask. “Our eighteen months is coming up soon.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Jongho smirked before pulling your chair closer, leaning forward to completely seal the gap between you two. You followed suit, practically falling out of your chair and into his. When you pulled away, he wrapped an arm around your middle, letting you stay in his lap. “Besides, we might lose ratings if the OTP resolves now. I’ll just have to keep protecting you from all the spoooooky stuff.”

You smack his arm lightly. “That’s my line.”

“Well, you’re mine, so there,” he shot back, sticking his tongue out at you.

You just shook your head, heart feeling at ease in the amusement, in your little office, in Jongho’s hold. “I love you.”

“I love you too, even if you believe in campfire stories.”

For once, you didn’t take the bait, just wiggled a little deeper into his grasp and rested your hand over his.

[sukirichi]

suki! it’s so good to see that you’re updating again! (i’m a bit late…) i normally don’t like directly interacting since i’m kind of awkward and socially inept. i took a bit of time to hesitate whether or not to send an ask because of this…but i still wanted to express my appreciation for you continuing to write dtd! i just wanted to you read and hopefully be able to understand how special you and dtd are to me. (i may not convey it properly)

i remember first finding the series (the old version with the sickly mistress) and i loved the hq royalty concept so much! even after the plot changed i had already read a lot of your other stuff and i really enjoyed your writing and ideas. (also i’m such a sucker for suna i pounce at any related content—not to mention i love sakusa and oikawa as well so dtd genuinely aligned with all my favorites ♡ ) i’m glad i stumbled upon dtd then. it has really grown to hold a special place in my heart, and i can confidently say that it’s my favorite fanfic series and probably even favorite fanfic work overall!

when you announced possibly not returning to dtd due to your workload, i was a bit sad that i couldn’t see the end of it, but i was happy that you didn’t push yourself beyond your limits. (when you said there was a chance you might continue it through ao3, i was so ready to wait however long it would’ve taken) and seeing that you’re writing again, i hope that means you found a balance between pre-med and writing, and i’m glad if you did! though even if i’m dying to know what happens at the end of dtd, please do take care of yourself as well! being able to see dtd again after this much time was honestly a blessing and i can’t tell you how much i appreciate you. thank you for coming back, suki. i missed seeing you ♡

— ☆

hi nonnie! thank you so much for taking the time to send me a message evn though it may not be your usual thing, i appreciate that a lot 🥺 and aaah you were here ever since the first dtd series, you’re a real one, thank you for sticking around !

hmm tbh nonnie, i actually did not plan on coming back at all or posting dtd on ao3 because . . . i was just going through a lot before i left, and i felt like it was already so long from when i last updated dtd that i kinda just assumed no one would read it anymore, so why bother 🥹 but my friends reached out to me, said they missed me a lot, so even though it was nerve-wracking, i took a shot in the dark and started writing dtd again. it was really scary, i thought no one would read it again, but then i came back to so much sweet messages and everyone was just so kind and supportive that i’m !! well, until now i’m super flattered and grateful for everything. readers like you mean the world, and i hope you guys know you equally mean so much to me 🥹🌷 i appreciate each and everyone for you for the warm welcome ! though i cannot guarantee i found the balance since i will be working again soon, i’ll do my very best to do what i can 💫

and again, anon, thank you! i missed you all so well. sending lots of love xoxo 💘

[greydoesthearts]

i mentioned a little bit in my tags about this but the thoughts have been stewing around a little more so hiiiiii i would like to talk about blind!marvin :3

like i said, marvin with magical guide dog would be very very cool i think. but the thought stewed a little more and i came up with the magic that marvin learns (at least this specific version, i now have another marvin under my belt) is extremely, extremely old and admittedly quite dangerous as well if not handled with extreme caution. marvin, however, being ~19 when he discovers this magic... admittedly doesn't take the warning in the book he found that contained said magic very well. "what's the worst that could happen?" he thought.

i'll give him one thing, he wasn't entirely reckless with this new magic. but he didn't exactly heed the warning about only using it if you absolutely have to. this old magic has a give and take relationship with whoever uses it. it gives you wonderful powers, and each time you use it it takes a little something from you (this varies from user to user, in extreme cases it will literally take years off of someone's lifespan). and for marvin, it started taking his sight.

now it wasn't super alarming at first. just some slight blurry vision, nothing that glasses couldn't fix. mostly everyone gets glasses eventually, right? his best friend jackie's had glasses since he was 7, this was an average thing! ... until it started getting noticeably worse. it seemed every few months he was having to get his eyes checked, and each time his vision has decreased. it really hit when he used a spell and right after realized his vision had gotten a little darker. he probably should've heeded that warning in the book. and he wanted to stop, but he was helping so many people with this magic, how could he stop?

well... you could probably guess where it lead.

........ okay, i don't have an eloquent transition into this admittedly- but after he finally decided to mention his increasing blindness to his fellow magic users, some of them suggested getting a seeing eye familiar to help him a little more (obviously most of them were also like "hey stop using the magic", but it was kind of too little too late advice, y'know?). familiars were extremely common among magic users, and some disabled users summoned familiars specifically to be service familiars. (walking, seeing, alerting when someone's speaking to them, even some are used by users with chronic fatigue to help them cast spells :3)

and so, with the last spell that he could use with this old magic that was hurting him, he created something nice from it. a dog to help him. and sure, it was scary at first to suddenly navigate the world without sight, but now that he's gotten used to it it's simply just another part of him. he now uses his dog (who's name is storm) to cast spells if he needs to (shoutout to the idea of him using an echolocation spell, i think that's cool and i'm taking it), so he doesn't have to keep using that old magic. his life is very different now, he never thought he'd end up where he is, but honestly? he wouldn't really change it, he's happy with where things are now :3

...................... oh i should've just made this its own post oh god this is long i'm sorry uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [skitters away]

(obviously, y'know, not blind myself, so i'll take any criticisms for this and change it, i just had a thought blurb and you were asking for disability headcanons soooooooo i just started writing and it... turned into this

uhhhhhhh for a smaller headcanon i like the headcanon of jackie being an amputee. i don't know why i don't mention it more, but i think he has a cool mechanical arm that he uses when he's out fighting :3)

Agaksgkslsh I love love love this so much. I'm also not blind (I mean, legally almost but yk glasses do help to an extent as you mentioned) but both of my parents are to varying degrees which is why blind!Marvin means so much to me (and my mom, obviously).

Magic having severe consequences in certain circumstances is such a good fucking trope. I hope you do something with this because it's very cool. No pressure. (And anyone who wants or needs help writing a blind character can feel free to ask questions!! Like I said, my mom and dad are both varying degrees, but of course they're not professionals by any means, I just know my mom would love to be included lol)

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello! Merry Chirtmas ! İ just love your blog and can't stop thinking about it ! So, how would tadc react to a female kid reader ? That little girl is cheerful elegant little lady and wear nice Pink dress with bows! She comforted Gangle by saying "don't be sad ! İ love you !" And put some sticker on her mask ! Oh and saying i love you to them before leaving. When Jax is doing something bad she says "Don't be mean! you silly rabbit!"

Caine, Gangle, Zooble, Pomni w/ sweet!kid!reader (platonic)

doing these characters since the wheel chose it (ominously) not sure how much i'll write today but i got a little more in the inbox compared to these past few days so i plan on working that down

CAINE:

basically treats you like his own kid but hes never been a dad before so hes still learning; torn between him being over protective of you or thinking you're indestructible (which... technically you are as long as youre in the digital world). i think he finds your sweetness adorable, though if theres someone in the circus being mean to you (surprisingly i dont think jax would be too mean. a little bit of a butt? yeah but its not much different than an older brother picking on their younger sibling) i think he would pipe up and not shut up until you get an apology. starts watching IHAs more now that you're here, both to see how youre doing but also to make sure its not too crazy for you.. cant help but let the big scary monster/trial pass when you run up to it being nice. literally just snaps the thing out of existence/away/wherever. loves seeing the look of triumph on your face afterwards

POMNI:

nice towards you and probably over time keeps a closer eye on you but in the beginning i think its more like. you following her like a duckling since shes busy trying to find an exit. honestly i think pomni would have a hard time when it sinks in that theres a little kid here in the circus. how did you get here? when did you get here? i think thats what would prompt her in trying to connect with you, thus you gain another guardian figure! sticking true my idea of pomni being uneasy around kids because they can be gross and have no filter and be unpredictable i think at first she would be a little... tense around you, but overtime becomes more comfortable when she realizes youre not like that. definitely going to take a while, though.. shrugs

GANGLE:

definitely finds you sweet, lets you hang around in her room and mess with her art supplies. probably cries harder when you try to make her feel better after jax does something, usually something that leaves her with a broken comedy mask. i dont think she would let you confront jax about it, though... she appreciates the sentiment but shes not about to make it look like she sent a little kid to defend her, thats only going to give jax even more ammo even if you stood up for her on your own. sometimes lets you put stickers on her mask or glitter... ponders.. i think she reads stories to you too, every night

ZOOBLE:

i think ive already said this before but zooble gives off such older sibling energy, and i cant really explain it other than its just the personality and looks... but i guess that doesnt explain much. shrugs. sweet younger sibling, cool but indifferent older sibling. or at least you think theyre cool. and you tell them every chance you guy. i think they would just give a weird "thaaanks.." the first few times before fully leaning into the older sibling role. dont get me wrong like before they wouldnt just leave you wandering around alone during an IHA, hell i dont think they would there wasnt one going on.. but they wouldnt go out of their way to hang out with you.. but eventually they just kind of keep a closer eye on you. check in on you. ask what youre up to. theyre not attached to you by the hip but theyre definitely present in your life as a role model. tries to make you be less nice, gives you the talk that not everyone is nice and sometimes some people fake being nice in order to get what they want. but in kid terms, obviously... well not little kid terms i still think zooble would be blunt but they wouldnt be harsh

[jestersmonsters]

Jester's Monster AU

Part 10 (End Of Chapter 1)

Warnings(for all parts, not just this one): Blood, gore, general angst, panic attacks, violence, death, dismemberment, attempted cannibalism (from vampires & werewolves), trauma, possible bad writing (I try), and the closest thing to realistic trauma responses I can get in a tmnt monster au.

💜First - 👈Prev - C1 Art Dump👉

Donnie was on his phone in bed, looking for more info on vampires. It was hard to know what was real and what was just fiction. He was getting increasingly frustrated.... but with what Mikey had told him, he was able to kind of guess. He preferred to write it down on a notebook or something, but since he was trying to rest, he just wrote what he knew in his notes app. He'd have to make a physical copy later. He was most worried about that "withered stomach" thing Mikey had mentioned, so he was looking for more details on that. It took some digging, but this is what he found:

Vampires can eat and drink any food or drink regularly so long as they feed on blood once a week. A week without blood will cause one to be unable to stomach human food from then on this is what they call the withered stomach. If another week passes without this being resolved, then the affected vampire will go into a defensive mode, losing control of their body and attacking any blood they can smell to drink it. If they are fed in that time, then they will return to normal, but if they remain hungry for approximately four hours longer, then the withered stomach will then become permanent if the vampire does not starve to death first.

This information cleared things up for him. No more starving himself from now on, got it. Sure didn't make him feel much better, though.... He already felt sick at the thought that this had happened to him. He assumed his little outburst had come just from that he was new to all this, and his body was still weak. Maybe he'd been trying to replenish energy lost from..... dying. It scared him, though. He'd bitten Casey of all people. That guy was supposed to be tough, and yet he wasn't able to defend himself... just how strong had the vampirism made him? Normally, the idea of being so strong wouldn't scare him, but it did. Because it came with the idea of hurting his family.

As if sensing his stress, there was a knock on the door, and Leo's voice came through. "Hey Dee, can I come in?" he asked. Without answering, Donnie just clicked a remote to open the door and let him in. Then Leo just sat on the edge of his bed, hands clasped quietly. "We didn't really get a chance to talk earlier, so I thought I'd start. And you know I don't apologize often, so you can't fight me on this, but... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not talking to you for so long. I wouldn't have minded you bringing me back to life, honestly. But the way you did it really scared me. All of it scared me. The way you looked at me with that creepy smile, all the blood, the way my body looked, all of it." he paused a moment to look at Donnie, who wasn't looking back, just staring at his phone with brows furrowed. He just sighed and kept talking. "But when you died, I think.... I understood why you looked at me that way. Because I would have done the same thing in that moment to get you back. It's still... scary.... but it felt like the only thing I could do so.... I get it." he finished. Donnie was looking at him now. He'd put his phone down, and he was just staring. His expression almost looked blank except for the slightest bit of tears brimming his eyes. Cautiously, he placed his hand on the other's.

Leon just smiled at that, understanding that it was Don's own version of an apology. "S'okay bud. I'm alright. You patched me up real good." he assured, leaning over to see what Donnie was doing. "You find anything out?" he asked. "Yeah. Just more about what my diet's gonna be like from now on." Donnie answered. "It's..... a little scary, though. I don't... I don't want to hurt anyone else." he said. To which, Leo just squeezed his hand. "Hey. I didn't get those blood bags for nothing. We're stocked up plenty! And with Raph and I around, even if you do get a little hungry, you won't get your teeth anywhere near anyone else, alright?" he assured, wearing a confident smile. But seeing Donnie was still worried, he just placed his free hand on his shell and rubbed gently. "We'll figure it out, mkay? Just get some rest. You'll be okay." he said in a quiet voice. With that, Donnie tried his best to quiet his troubled mind as he shut his eyes and drifted off to a deep sleep.

[End Of Chapter 1]

[fereldanwench]

WIP Whenever (Actually on a Wednesday!)

@chevvy-yates had tagged me in a WIP Whenever thingy last week (I think? What is time) and @breezypunk sharing their WIPs reminded me I meant to do this. So, stuff I'm working on!

Over my Christmas break, I just started barely scratching the surface of working on my own custom poses. Because I'm me, I desperately need some battle couple poses--Fighting side-by-side, holding the other one while they're wounded, maybe fighting each other, etc. I compiled a Pinterest inspo board here to get an idea of what I'm going for.

This pose isn't anywhere close to being finished, but it's a start:

A small confession: while I actually like working in Blender quite a bit, I kind of hate everything else about modding, lmao. I've probably said it before, but my day job requires me to use so many shitty apps and software that always require 37 workarounds just to perform normally--I really don't have a lot of patience for troubleshooting shit during my leisure hours. Hopefully, the project won't become too much of a headache when I get into importing and working with props. 🤞

Virtual photography is always a constant for me these days--I was actually thinking yesterday how it feels like the absolute perfect creative medium for me. I like drawing and writing and 'real' photography, and I very much need to make sure I have more analog and tactile creative projects to keep me sane, but VP just hits in a way nothing else really has.

I am still working on the photostory I shared last time, but I don't want to give away too much there. It's also on a bit of a pause while I figure out some tech issues (read: I regret updating my game, lmao). However, I already have a ton of shots/mini-stories I need to queue up:

Other than that, it's kind of personal reflection shit and contemplating goals/resolutions for 2024. Getting long-winded and a little blunt under the cut:

I've always really struggled with making goals--I don't think I've ever had a situation in which I explicitly stated "I have a goal of XYZ" and then I achieved XYZ. I've had plenty of nebulous "Hey, I think I'd like to do XYZ" thoughts and then lo and behold, I do actually make XYZ a reality, but as soon as the word "goal" is attached to something, I just check tf out.

It was actually something I was trying to talk to my therapist about last summer, and then we kind of hit a dead end on that specific topic and decided I had other problems that were more pressing to deal with, lmao. But all the best goal advice in the world--following the SMART method, sharing it with someone for extra accountability, etc.--Just does not work with my brain.

(The accountability thing in particular always hugely backfires for me because just telling someone I want to do a thing tricks my brain into thinking I did that thing and now I don't need to anymore. Also, I don't like people telling me what to do, so if someone was like "hey, shouldn't you do this thing so you can meet your goal" I will say no just on principle of being a brat, lmao. I really hate that piece of advice.)

I know some of it, probably a lot of it, is fear of failure if I don't meet the goal. I'm very hard on myself--That's a no-brainer.

But I also think some of it, maybe just as much, is fear of success. Which I used to think was the stupidest fucking thing anyone could say about this shit, but success can mean big change. Success can mean increased feelings of imposter syndrome. Success can mean attention and responsibility I don't want. Success can mean bigger consequences if I do fuck up later.

I've come to realize that success is honestly as equally scary to me as failing.

I think this is a big reason I've always been content (or convinced myself to be content) with being good and not great, even if that means I'm not reaching my ~*full potential*~. (There are other external/macro reasons for that too, like my loathing of people trying to push me to monetize my passions, but I don't feel like getting into systemic gripes, lmao.)

Goals that require me to step outside of my usual routine also give me a lot of anxiety, which is something I've working towards managing (you could say that it's a goal of mine to get that under control dfgjhfjgdf), but that's still a very real hurdle for me.

Like I've been trying to go back to a minimum of 20 minutes of dedicated exercise (versus just walking a lot) a 3 times a week, and I get stressed if I miss it, or even just feel like I'm going to miss it (like if 7 PM starts creeping up and I haven't started it yet), but I also get all bent out shape spending 20 minutes on exercising while I'm doing it as if there's a better use of that time and THERE'S NOT. Like, what am I really missing? 20 minutes of scrolling Tumblr? Shut the fuck up, lmao.

All this to say that I don't really feel like I'm ready to set goals in a traditional sense, and that might not be something that ever works for me, but there are things I think would just be... kinda nice for me to do for myself that I want to do this year:

I need to actually be nicer to myself. As a matter of fact, @ren3gade--I hope you don't mind the tag, but I've been meaning to thank you for the "forgive yourself" advice you shared a couple of months back. I started making it a point to use that in my self-talk when I start spiraling, and it has been one of the best means of mitigating certain aspects of my social anxiety. I felt goofy as hell when I first started doing it, but that shit works. Positive self-talk makes you feel better, wow, who knew certainly not me

In a similar spirit, I want to stop being so judgemental about my limitations, and I need to mitigate feelings of guilt when I set boundaries for my mental health and energy. This is something I want to achieve in all areas of my life, but I think the easiest place for me to start flexing these muscles is with fandom. Because, damn, I let myself get into some really bad habits with the CP77 fandom (and I forgive myself for that 🙌). One of the big ones has been putting pressure on myself to keep up with what all my CP77 mutuals are doing at all times, and I'm not doing that to myself anymore. I've spent so much time in the past two years methodically going through tags and blogs to catch up on stuff I missed, and I'm just... relieving myself of this obligation. I know a lot of folks have tried to mitigate that for themselves by encouraging everyone to use their username-tracked tag--I'm not doing that. I'm not giving y'all more tagging work, and I'm not going to give myself the same obligation just in a different way. If I miss a post, I miss a post. Of course y'all are always more than welcome to @ me or send me things you think I'd enjoy (I love that, actually!!), but I'm just one person--I'm incapable of being an omnipresent fandom cheerleader and I don't know why I was pushing myself to be that. Well, that's not entirely true--I have some idea of why, but that's also a mentality I'm leaving in the dust. 😘 Also, for a long time, I did not use the like button for anything other than personal posts purely out of spite because I got tired of people complaining when they'd get likes but not reblogs--My asshole mentality was "Fine, now you get nothing." And that worked for me for several years and several fandoms, but I'm frankly tired of the "like" slander on Tumblr. It's a valid form of interaction and letting someone know you liked their stuff. I don't say this with malice, but other people's mentality of being unhappy with likes instead of reblogs is not my burden to bear. Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a rant about fandom stuff, lmao, but the point is I need more boundaries in my life, and I'm starting here.

I'm happier when I spend more time than I have been on traditional art and creative things that get me off my PC. Like I said above, I love VP so much, but it does unfortunately tether me to my computer desk longer than is probably good for me in the long run, mentally and physically. I stocked up on some new traditional art supplies, and I need to put those to use now that I'm settled into my new place. (And I've been itching to do a charcoal portrait of my bb girl.)

Reading books (gotta be physical, no screens) also makes me feel better. I've got about 7 books on my nightstand that I could totally finish this year--Doing that might be the one stereotypical goal I make for myself.

I want to reevaluate how I "multitask;" in particular, I want to break the habit of always having to have a background show/movie on OR always feeling the need to do something on my computer/phone while I watch a show/movie. Even as a kid (way before I lost my attention span to my smartphone lmao), I've always been inclined to doing something else while I watch shows and movies, but that used to be limited to drawing or painting my nails, which I think is fine. Now I just always feel like I need a screen nearby to do something else, even if there's really not something else worth doing. And listening to music or podcasts while I work on a thing is also fine, but it's gotten to the point where I almost can't have complete silence, and I don't like that. I miss being comfortable with silence while I pour all of my focus into a project. I just need to find some equilibrium here.

I know this isn't exactly a standard WIP Whenever, but me is what I'm working on, and I think it's all essential stuff to nurturing my creativity. 😊

[jolapeno]

I had to come here cos my response was just waaayyyy too long for your original post hahah I hope that’s okay!

I’m still reeling that LNT is only a year old???

I felt extremely late to the party when I read it, and I had saw so many folk speak so highly of it that I thought it was one of those stories that exist in a fandom that has been around since the dawn of time.

Honestly, LNT resonated with so many people and I’d saw it so much that I was like ‘I MUST be caught up on what I’m missing’ and I’m so glad I did! Bc now I have DMY Frankie and boy. I love him. As you well know 😂

Thank you for sharing that little part of you with us! I love that you celebrate by getting something you enjoy and I love even more that for some reason this time it was that lovely plant! (The idea of calling it Rainy brought tears to my eyes, but I also 10000% get that the name has to vibe)

Congratulations on finishing another wonderful story! I’m so excited to see how it ends, and for whatever you decide to do next!

I always get such a smile on my face when your username pop up on my phone in any kind of capacity.

Have a lovely Sunday! 💕

i love this, because I was in such a bubble when I wrote it, I didn’t see what you all see. people (including my fabulous friend @goodwithcheese ) tells me all the time how it had this life of its own and people would hear about this fic? that I wrote?

and I still cannot wrap my head around it. so I kinda don’t 😂 because I think if I did, I’d worry that I wouldn’t live up to it. like I’d put more pressure on Frankie in DMY or even whatever I do next. so when you said it I sorta grinned to myself because omg right? I did this thing? but then I saw the next part:

resonated with so many people <- and that made my heart so happy. so happy. like beyond more than I can articulate. because you’re so right, and also now, lots have stuck around for frankie or anything else I’ve tried to tackle since. which is wild to me 😂

and you’re very welcome. I should share more of myself, but I get worried? anxious maybe? like I don’t want you all to get sick of me. but even when I do share that bit more, you all seem to love it so maybe I need to take a breath and try. but yes, each time I finish a big first draft (a series usually) I take myself for cake. or cookies! and usually I’ll go find a quiet place and enjoy them and just sorta reflect? it was a thing I did when I did something scary too, and in some ways writing and sharing is still very scary to me, but just in different ways than it used to be?

I know I wish I looked at them and saw “rainy” but it’s Gilbert, and I’ve been calling them Gilly or afternoon so I think that’s the nickname but we’ll see.

I’m excited to revisit the ending in a few weeks when I edit (cause I edit like the week coming up to the posting) because I loved it so much yesterday and I hope I will then too.

thank you for sending this in, sorry for rambling, and ily

[mochiwrites]

mochi i always appreciate how friendly u are, u answer so many different asks, even if u don’t agree with the content ur very understanding and are empathic towards the other person, which is a very earnest and kind thing to do. ur able to match the vibes of asks as well, making sure ppl feel hyped up, which makes them feel more confident in themselves, especially because it can be a bit of a vulnerable thing to put ur self out there. u either have an understanding of this, or are naturally inclined to support the other person, both of which reflect really well on you

ur also incredibly talented, creative, and smart. you have multiple sometimes long running aus and ideas that you’ve slowly chipped away at, it’s incredibly admirable, especially considering you are a student. ur frequent updates just show how strong of a writer u are, and i’m sure whatever u do with ur degree ur gonna do amazing things. your also super emotionally in touch with yourself-likely one of the reasons why u perused psych- and are able to communicate ur feelings well, in a very graceful way, it’s a very strong thing to set boundaries with an audience, cause in some way admitting something isn’t working is kind of scary (at least to some) so i’m really proud of u for it. (and a side note- anyone who doesn’t respect or tries to overdramatize u protecting yourself when ur obviously having some personal conflicts needs to take a deep breath, u give them a lot more understanding and gentleness, and it shows well on ur part)

all that being said as well it is up to u what u respond to and engage with, and i truly hope you don’t ever push yourself uncomfortably for any reason out of obligation. i hope that u support ur self first. it’s not a crime to prioritize yourself, i promise. (i don’t know u personally, so i would have no way of knowing if this is something you would struggle with, but just in case wanted to include it lol)

yea! ur great mochi keep being amazing pspsps have some cat treats

taking the cat treats ty ty

but also ;w; thank you <333 this is really sweet and I genuinely teared up reading it dvdbfbfgtb wahhhhh

I think being kind and empathetic is just… really important y’know? and I try to be as friendly and open as I can with people because I know that it can be scary sometimes when you throw out an idea or even send a message to someone you’re not familiar with or know on a personal level. it’s that general idea of treat people how you want to be treated. with any luck, the kindness I extend to others will eventually come back around to me. I like supporting people and encouraging them <33 I guess I just try to be the person I wish I had while growing up

I wasn’t a very confident kid, didn’t have a lot of friends, and was terrified of the people around me. so I really do get and understand the vulnerability that comes with putting yourself out there. and !!! even if I don’t agree with something suggested, I try to be gentle in my approach to it. I just like being kind to people dbfbfbfhtg

and wahhhhh thank you ;w; writing is just something that I’ve always done alongside school so it feels super natural to do the two at once :D I’ve always been like ??? weirdly in tune with my emotions and how I’m feeling (I feel REALLY strongly, it’s insane how emotional of a person I am), and yeah!!! it was partly why I pursued psych as a major. but setting boundaries was definitely not a thing I was good at while growing up ^^; I think I only started to get good at it within the last few years honestly. but I’m definitely not afraid to sit down and say that something isn’t working. I try to look at from two views: it’s not fun for me if I’m working on something I’m unhappy with, which means it’s not fun for others as well. and I only want to write things that I’m proud of and passionate about, meaning I’m motivated :D

and it helps knowing that if I restart, I can make something a lot better <3 trial and error is an important part of learning !!!

but ueueue I never feel an obligation to interact with something that makes me uncomfortable or anything like that !!! I love the interactions I get, and feel really lucky that I’m able to share my stuff with so many people and have the same love for my work echoed back at me 🥹💕💕

[scoonsalicious]

Heya hey mother pookie🩷 So here’s my thoughts.

Can’t stress this enough and will keep on saying it that Lebron is just…

It’s sad u know? just… sad! Idk how to explain but it’s sad that’s not pity. The closest word I can think of is pathetic. She’s pathetic but not to the point I feel sorry for her.

Honestly, if she wasn’t a bit cray2, delusional, obsessive, manipulative, a pick me, I would’ve actually feel bad for her but then she’s not

She’s a whole red flag and if Buckybaby doesn’t see that in the future, RIP his eyes and sanity but as said by Mother Pookie before, this Bucky is better and so I have faith in him. It’s just that his action might be later on than now bcs he always thought of Lebron as his friend only. Before he never been interested so hard in a dame before but now that he’s actually starting to fall in love with Major, he’s going to notice her delusionalism (this word doesn’t exist btw)

Btw Leechoney… what do you expect😭😫 Like… what? Ofc he’s going to lie to you bcs of your attitude. She’s acting as if Bucky is her boyfriend (i bet in her mind she thinks that). She’s going to confront Bucky the next day I tell ya. She’s not the type to back down too. I can imagine the shrill of her voice right now and it’s making me cringe. I bet she gunna stomp her feet like a child demanding Buckybaby to explain why he lie to her and who’s he with. She’s the type to use the ‘but I’m your bestfriend’ reason too, which is hella annoying. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes so hard it refuse to come back down, but it had too bcs I need to read the upcoming part.

Personally, it’s fun to read Lenovo’s POV. Imagine if Jade had one?! That would be cruel yet interesting😂 Reading the antagonist view has a different vibe because there will be a time where we don’t understand why they’re acting the way they are and in a sense of way, we’re psychologically interpreting/discussing their behaviour which is fun. I lurve it!!

Lastly, as usual, great writing, Happy mother’s day to your mama Pookie and others as well andd ofcc as usual, love you Mother Pookie🩷🩷🩷

PS// One of my cat is sick rn. Please pray that he’ll be better tomorrow (He’s not meowing as usual, wobbly wobbly too, these past few days the weather has been unexpected, changing between heavy rains then scorching hot in seconds, and i hope it’s not affecting him. This is why we need an actual cat as a doctor, like a cat doctor, not human doctor just so they could take care of other cats ASAP)

I feel like it's easy to put deLulu in the crazy bucket, but she's definitely motivated more by selfishness than by any kind of mental illness. She could have easily asked Bucky out at any point over the last four years. Who knows-- he might have said yes. She just kind of expected him to fall for her, so don't feel bad for her. She's been manipulating his relationships for a long time now.

She's definitely put Bucky in this quasi-boyfriend role, where she treats him like a bf and expects him to treat her like a gf, just minus the sexual/romantic element... for now (in her mind). She's used to being the only girl of significance in his life, and it's going to hit her hard when that changes. And it changes very, very soon.

Bucky will start seeing problems with the way she acts, but he won't necessarily put two and two together right away. Because, to him, the idea of a romantic relationship between him and her is just... so far out there. She is a friend; he's never, ever seen her as anything else. The idea has never crossed his mind. So, when trying to come up with motives for her behavior, jealousy will not be the first one to come to mind.

I think I would have been too terrified to have ever written a Jade POV. It would have been so scary in that head, lol.