#this was in my drafts for like a week now im letting it free like a caged birb

[spiderhanzzz]

"I'M FUCKING SPIDERMAN, BABY" — han jisung.

who would've guessed that the guy you've been texting on tinder is spiderman?

word count: 2.7k

pairings: spiderman!han x journalist intern!reader

genres: humor, fluff, slight angst, comfort, kind of fake dating???

warnings: swearing, drinking, han is referred to as peter, reader and han are both uni students, mentions of vomit and violence, mild injuries, lowkey blackmailing if u squint, no use of y/n & gender neutral reader, han calls reader "pretty" once, usage of "baby" and "sweetie" too

playlist: les childish gambino, dare gorillaz, novacane frank ocean, i bet you look good on the dancefloor arctic monkeys, making the bed olivia rodrigo

a/n: my first fic raaahh!!! >:3 so so excited for u 2 read all these crazy ideas swirling inside my head

“...whoever provides the information on Spider-Man’s real identity will receive a cash prize of $1,000 US dollars…”

Your gaze bores to the glow of your old crappy TV. You haven’t had the time nor funds to purchase a new one, given that your only employment at the moment is a journalistic internship. It’s a good agency, the same one reporting on screen right now, and you acknowledge how hard you had worked to get the position. Nevertheless, you wish you prioritized financial gain over prestige, because now you’re stuck in your run-down apartment in New York, investigating the biggest issues for no money at all.

So you guess it’s not that big of a deal that you have no leads on who the hell Spider-Man is. If any higher-ups scold you, you could just hit them with those snarky remarks you’ve kept in the back of your mind all this time. How do you expect incentive from me if you’re not even paying me? I’m writing all your scripts because everyone else is a damn deadbeat! Maybe then they’ll start appreciating you.

You released a heavy sigh. All this nonsense is giving you a permanent headache, and it doesn’t help that you spend most of your free time scrolling mindlessly on your phone, which lights up with a new text notification the moment you start thinking about it. Perhaps you’ve spent so much time on your phone it’s becoming a part of your brain?

Peter Han: hahah tbh im pretty busy this week, but i’ll let u know for sure :)

A light shade of embarrassment tints your face when you catch yourself smiling at the text message. Usually Peter— the cute guy you’ve been texting on Tinder— never uses any emoticons. In fact, he’s been acting pretty uninterested and dry with you, which wouldn’t bother you as much if it weren’t for the fact that you desperately need a date to your friend’s birthday party next week.

Despite your humiliatingly destitute lifestyle, you pride yourself for your unmatched abilities to blend into any crowd. So like any other New Yorker, you decided to surround yourself with upper class Manhattan socialites. They like you; they don’t need to know about your financial status.

But with great power comes great responsibility, and with great social life comes great expectations. Last week it was a certain Kate Spade wallet with the intentions to match with the whole group of girls, and the week before it was table manners at a European restaurant (how in the hell were you supposed to know which fork to use for a crème brûlée?) This week, though, they gave you the most impossible task of all: get a date.

And you would. Truly, you would. It’s not like you’re particularly unattractive or unlikeable or anything like that. It’s just that you haven’t dipped your toes into the dating pool since university started, and you’re too far gone now. Your peers are fluent in these unspoken rules of dating and you don’t even really know what a situationship is.

Thus why you’re acting a little bit too desperate with Peter.

As you draft a response to him— is it better to use two or three y’s in hey?— your train of thoughts are interrupted by a loud thud on your balcony, followed by a shadow of vibrant colours. Your couch is situated safely so you can see right out the window, but angled in a way that someone outside wouldn’t be able to see you inside. You found this hack on social media on a particularly paranoid rush of nerves and thanked whoever that person was every single night.

Hesitating for a minute, you consider your options: a) attempt to fight off whoever is in your building, b) run out and alert security, or b) pretend like you didn’t hear anything and pray you don’t see your own face on TV tomorrow instead of Spider-Man’s.

If you were acting rational you would have chosen the last option. After all, it’s New York— if there’s anything prevalent here, it’s crime. But you are just so fucking bored. 

So you grab a baseball bat and swing open the window. 

“Get the hell off my balcony, dude!”

To your surprise, you stand face to face with a pair of dangling Converse All-Stars (really dirty ones, too). In your spur of confusion you come to the conclusion that whoever is sitting above your flat has the ugliest red socks you’ve ever seen in your life.

“What the fuck, man?” The person exclaims. “You bruised my knee!”

“That sounds about right for messing with my place, no?” You say, stepping out onto the balcony to get a good look at the stranger.

Just when you think you couldn’t get more disoriented, you realize the man you’re looking up to is not a stranger at all. It’s none other than Peter Han, in a full on Spider-Man suit.

“Peter…?”

The stranger, AKA Peter, breathes out a nervous laugh, raking his hand through his messy hair. Cute, you think.

“I think you mistook me for someone else. I’m not Peter.”

“Okay…” You say dubiously. “Why are you wearing a Spider-Man suit then?”

“I’m a… uh… cosplayer?”

When his eyes meet yours, the truth sings: he’s been caught. Peter Han is Spider-Man.

He’s terrified, you can tell. You don’t blame him— you would be too in his position. But it’s not just the fact that you know now; it’s also the mischievous glint twinkling in your eyes. Just what the hell are you thinking about that could be so amusing right now?

“W-what’s that look for?”

You can’t hold it in anymore. Maniacal laughter bursts out of you like you’ve been possessed by the spirit of a circus clown, and you have to hold on to the balcony railing to stop yourself from falling over. “Oh, Peter, you naive little fool.”

Peter’s brows furrow in confusion. You mentally curse yourself for admiring how handsome he looks when he doesn’t know what’s going on.

“Didn’t I tell you? I’m on the case to find out Spider-Man’s identity. Well, your identity, I guess.”

“You did not tell me that.”

“Yes, I did.” You cross your arms over your chest, shooting him a judgemental look. “You’d know that if you paid any attention to what I have to say.”

“Look, listen…” Peter braces his lean arms on the side of the window to lower himself on your balcony. Standing face to face, you note that he’s not as tall as you thought. “I know I haven’t been the warmest person to you, but I would literally get on my knees and beg for you to please not tell anyone about this.”

You hum in amusement, taking a step closer to him and raising your chin with undoubted sanguine. Like this, you’re almost the same height as him. “As tempting as that sounds, I’d rather have you doing something else for me.”

Peter chuckles in disbelief, eyes wandering to the sky as if to ask God what have I done to deserve this absolute nonsense? His palms rest upon your shoulders when he looks you dead in the eye and says, “You are not blackmailing me, sweetie.”

“That’s a lot of confidence for someone who has very blackmail-able secrets.”

“That’s not even a word!”

“Whatever.” You peel away his hands from your shoulders, straightening your posture and pulling your shoulders back. Peter faces you with a puzzled gaze as you offer him your hand, clearing your throat and stating, “Peter Han, I would like to make a deal with you.”

He doesn’t move. “And that is…?”

“Date me.” Seeing his face contort into an even deeper state of befuddlement, you follow up with elaboration. “One date to a party next week, and just a few meet-ups and texts to prove that our relationship is going strong. In return, I’ll pretend this whole exchange never happened.”

You’re both silent for what feels like hours, eyes fighting a silent mental battle, until Peter’s rough palms finally envelop your own. You’re aware of how crazy and delusional you sound, but you swear he pulls you in just a little bit closer.

“Deal.”

It’s your third year in the city, and you’re still not fully familiarized with the parties. Contrary to your expectations of drunk sweaty bodies dancing up on each other, your friends’ definition of parties consists of low warm lighting embracing their glittered luxury brand dresses as they swirl their fancy little martinis and cosmopolitans. You appreciate it, really, since you don’t have to use up your voice every other night just to shout over the deafening electronic music. However it’s much harder to appreciate the pressure it puts on you to behave a certain way— dance like nobody’s watching, but be aware that they are.

As you slowly walk to approach your friends (rule #32: no running in public spaces, you’ll look like an idiot) you feel a large hand brush softly against your waist. You turn to face your date for the night, warmth creeping up your cheeks as you take in his appearance. The only suit he’s wearing now is an all-black tuxedo with no tie, the first three buttons of his shirt opened. His black hair is brushed down smoothly, pieces of it falling just right to frame his glowing face.

“You clean up well,” you remark, circling your arm in his as you guide him towards the bar where your friends are sitting.

“I could say the same to you, pretty.” With the sleek black shoes he’s wearing, he’s a few inches taller. Slightly looking down on you, he gives you a subtle wink.

God, he’s such a heartthrob.

Your friends round up to give you hugs and kisses to welcome your presence, ever so politely. One of them acknowledges Peter’s companionship. “You must be the date.”

“That I am.” Peter returns the approach, showing off his adorably heart-shaped smile. “Peter Han, pleasure to meet you.”

The rest of the night runs as it does in your dreams the night before. By the time you had arrived, your friends were already buzzed enough to pay no mind to the way the leather is peeling off your only pair of formal shoes nor to the typo on your fake branded bag. Just the way it’s supposed to be.

Peter doesn’t leave your side the entire night, only lifting his arm around your waist to grab more drinks for the both of you. Occasionally you catch him absentmindedly rubbing your back, and occasionally you catch yourself wondering how someone who spends so much of his life fighting can be this gentle.

During a small bathroom break, one of your friends pulls you aside and whispers, “He looks at you like you hung the stars, you know.”

If you weren’t so swept up in the feeling of finally belonging under the subtle incandescence of a high-end bar in Manhattan, you would have noticed the way Peter’s eyes darken when he read a notification off his phone, or the way his lips press into a tight line when he gazes at you, laughing your heart away amongst your friends.

So you’re nothing short of confounded when he wraps his arms around your waist and leans down to mumble, “Baby, I have to go, there’s a work emergency. I’ll catch you later, alright?”

Your friends bid him farewell and you press a chaste kiss to his cheek, immediately turning away when you feel his body tense. When he walks out the door, you keep your eyes focused on how his soft hair loses its shimmer as he walks out into the night.

And you try to enjoy the warm liquid pouring down your throat for the fifth time tonight, savoring the way you can almost taste a bit of yourself pull away from reality each time, knowing at least one of the people around you will walk away tonight asking, “don’t you think that Peter is a bit cold?”

You sit on the edge of your balcony, something you never do unless you’re going through an existential crisis or drunk off your ass. Tonight it’s both. As usual, the distant sirens and exclamations of curses wrap a tight band around your head. You’re dizzy; either from the alcohol or situation or both.

The ocean of fluorescent lights from the streets of Queens drift your mind to recall just how you ended up here. Three years ago, you were a fresh high school graduate with a million opportunities in front of you. Now you’re broke and rely too much on the validation of your non-broke friends to fulfill the void inside you. The thought of eventually having nobody but yourself after you graduate makes you wanna vomit on a passerby’s head.

“Hey, baby.” A particularly resonant voice startles you out of your thoughts. Peter is swinging from your balcony railing, a pair of gray sweatpants and zip-up jacket slung over his Spider-Man suit. “Sorry for ditching early. I got pizza and flowers to make it up to you, though.”

He swings himself to sit down next to you, placing the box of pizza and bouquet in front of your crossed legs. When he pulls his mask over his head to remove it, your eyes glance over his cuts and bruises. They definitely weren’t there earlier.

“What happened?” You unconsciously bring a hand up to his face, brushing your knuckles tenderly over the sensitive areas. It’s only when he winces that you drop your hand back down to your lap.

“Some guy tried to rob a bank.” Peter shrugged, refusing to meet your gaze. “Turns out he brought a bunch of other guys to back him up.”

“Did you win, at least?”

Though his face is turned down, you can see Peter’s eyes crinkle into a smile underneath his tousled hair. “Yeah, ‘course I did. Who do you think I am, a loser? I’m fucking Spider-Man, baby.”

Ten minutes later you’re seated face to face, still on your balcony, with you dabbing a cotton pad onto his injuries. No words were exchanged; you just went in and out to grab your emergency medical kit and grabbed him by the chin. The pizza box is left unattended, but neither of you care much about the hunger puncturing your insides.

“Why do you look so down?” Peter inquires as you place a Hello Kitty bandaid on his cheekbone, giggling breathlessly as you do so.

“Do I?”

“Yeah.” He brings his own hand up to your face, brushing away the strands of your hair on your forehead. “I mean, you’re smiling now, but your eyes have this sadness to them. So, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

What the actual fuck? It literally takes you every nerve in your body to fight the urge to propose to this man right then and there.

“Hey, come on,” he urges, delicately pulling your face an inch closer to his. His thumbs run down your flushed cheeks, and it takes you a while to notice he’s brushing away your tears. “I said talk to me.”

“Well, you’ve probably already noticed that I’m different from my friends.” You wrap your fingers around his wrists. “I guess I thought I could pull off the whole socialite act, but I’m starting to feel so…”

When you can’t find the words, Peter finds them for you. “Lost?”

He presses his forehead to yours as you nod softly. “This might not be the best time, but I think you’re a star.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning you shine the brightest amongst everyone else’s shadow. And your friends probably see you that way too. Also that I really, really want to take you out on a real date.”

“You were right, it’s terrible timing.” You fake pout, pretending as if your heart didn’t skip a beat at his words.

“Sorry, sorry!” Peter laughs, setting distance between the two of you once again. There is no inclination to pull him back, though; the space devoid of someone else finally feels comfortable.

“My answer is yes, by the way, you can take me out on a real date. Unfortunately no blackmail this time, though, I think I'm gonna quit that dumb internship.”

Both of you share a fit of affectionate laughter. The temperate scent of food merges with that of the flowers and caresses your senses as Peter opens the box of pizza. “If they ever make fun of you for not being rich, we can always stage one of them as Spider-Man. We'll even get $1,000 from it, then you'll actually be rich."

“I’ll take you up on that offer, Spidey.”

[satorruubaby]

—𝙱𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚍𝚊𝚢 ࣪ 🥥⊹ ࣪ ˖ ☼

Synopsis. You and Gojo decided to spend the day at the beach, savoring each moment. As the sky transformed into a canvas of warm colors, the two of you remind the deep love you shared for each other. Feeling the bond between you grow even stronger with each passing wave.

Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader

Content. All fluffy! Just slightly angsty in the end. Kinda suggestive? fem!reader, not spoiler free! JJK AU, established relationship, He’s love-strucked! Satoru being a cute boyfriend he is, he calls u baby tons, Satoru’s 20 and you’re 18!

W.C 1.6k

A/N. I’ve been gone for 2 months and this draft has been sitting here for like weeks by now, I was just lazy about decorating it….plus this is for ch.261:( I love u Satoru😞 IM SO SORRY IDK WHAT CAME OVER TO ME

On a cloudy, breezy day, you and Satoru arrive at a secluded beach, well he teleported you both there.

The soft pale cream sand warm under your feet. Satoru lays out a blanket, setting up a picnic under a parasol, with a bunch snacks that were mostly his sweets, but he also packed some cute bento lunches for you.

After arranging the mini picnic, Satoru leans back, pressing his hands into the sand behind him. He watches you slowly descend down the shore but you only stop at your ankle level, you were enjoying the view infront of you, the feeling of the wet sand on your feet. Turning slowly, you catch Satoru’s gaze, filled with love and admiration.

Your sundress flutters in the breeze, and he sees that beautiful smile he adores. Oh how could he be so lucky? You looked like an angel, truly the most beautiful girl he’s seen.

————————-⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖°—————————

Satoru stood up to make his way to you while unbuttoning his ¥178,861, white polo to reveal his heavenly sculpted abs. Your eyes couldn’t help but betray you as you check him out

“Like what you see love?” He grinned at you, his black-tinted glasses reflecting the horizon behind you

you look away and block his face with your hand“No. Not at all..” you scoff, Satoru’s hand finds its way to your waist, and tugs you forward as he leans down to your ear “Your flushed face tells me otherwise.”

He let out a small chuckle as you made a hmpf sound, “Well, I like what I see.” He shamelessly looked you up and down, the sundress hugged your figure perfectly, and he brought you that dress to make sure it did.

Your death glare made him snap out of his thoughts and quickly placed a kiss on your lips “Baby come on, let’s go for a swim before we start eating” He then suddenly carried you bridal-style which made you gasp “W-wait! I don't wanna get wet yet!” He ignored you as he made his way down the water then dropped you once the water reached above his knee, the hair you worked hours on before leaving the apartment, got wet from the suddenness of his action

“TORU MY HAIR!!!!” You screamed at him as you chased the grinning like-cat down, the water slowing your movement so you just started splashing him with water and he did the same to you but he splashed more water than you did, and that made you want to drown his stupid face. The beautiful horizon was disrupted by you and Satoru’s play-fight.

————————-⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖°—————————

“Baby look,” Satoru pointed at a bunny-like slug that was on the wet rocks “It looks like you” he mumbled as his finger gently stroked the little thing “How does it look like me? It’s a slug.” You grumbled, the wet drops of your bodies meeting the wet surface of the rock “Because you look like a bunny and act like a slug, cute but sluggish.”

“How am sluggish?? You’re the one who takes long to get ready because of how infatuated you are with your Nintendo.” You poked his right cheek “Ow!… well don’t act like you don’t take hours to get your hair done Baby!” He defended with a small pout.

————————-⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖°—————————

The two of you settled down to eat after Satoru collected shells to receive a ‘Good job’ kiss from you and made sand castles to compete with each other (You won as Satoru whined his loss)

“Babi, does the ocean have likee… brain-eating amoeba?” Satoru muffled with a mouth full of strawberry donuts, “No Toru. Don’t even wanna imagine that right now, and stop talking with your mouth full!” You scolded but that couldn’t stop the white-haired guy from his ill manners “It doesn’t? Then where are they usually found??” Satoru perked up in interest

“Well uhh—They can be found in lakes and rivers or still waters?” Your skin shivered from the thought of deep still-like waters

“REALLY??! oh god, I just recently went to a lake for a mission, and then I was levitating and accidentally fell into the water because of how sleepy I was!!! AM I GOING TO DIE, BABY??” Satoru’s worried-sad face made you chuckle a bit. You had forgotten that when Satoru gets tired and lacks focus, it can cause his infinity to turn off. You learned this about him when he told you how Toji took advantage of his vulnerable state by attacking your poor boyfriend at his blind spot.

“No Toru you wont!.. It's very unlikely to have a brain-eating amoeba. You'll be fine, Mr. Strongest." You rolled your eyes at his worried state. "Are you sure??? I can’t die without having to marry you yet!!" He whined and complained about the thought of dying without having 5,000 kids with you and his last name being yours.

"Satoru, calm down. You won’t die! And I’m sure you're able to have 5,000 kids with me soon, if I don’t die from giving birth to 5,000 babies, that is." You continued eating the sandwich that Satoru made. You couldn't help but notice that there were no bread crusts on the edges. Satoru really did take note of your dislike of bread crust on your first date, the attentive boyfriend he is. You loved him so much.

"HUH??? NO! Okay! Fine! How about 3 babies??" You let out a giggle. "Okay. Just 3 babies." He moved forward to close the distance between you two. "Promise you’ll soon be my wife and that we’ll have 3 kids together?" Satoru had a small pout on his face that made your heart melt. "Promise." You sighed internally, not expecting the mightiest sorcerer to go all love-struck on you.

"Give me a promise kiss then." You raised an eyebrow and took his glasses off before proceeding to plant a small, quick kiss on his lips. Satoru wasn't satisfied enough with it, so he held your waist and tugged you forward, causing your chest to fall against his. His lips quickly closed the distance, leading to a heated make-out session. His long, calloused fingers stroked your hair as he hummed into the kiss. His tongue invaded your mouth, and you could taste the strawberry donut he had just eaten.

As the sun began its descent, a soft, rosy glow enveloped the ocean, casting a warm hue upon the scene. The embrace satisfied your cold, wet bodies. Your devoted Satoru persisted in showering you with affectionate kisses.

————————-⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖°—————————

The bonfire crackled softly in the background, it’s light flickering against the semi-dark sky. Calm waves lapped gently against the shore, providing a tranquil backdrop to the night. As you gently stroked the back of Satoru’s hair, he lay sprawled across you, his face nestled against your chest, exuding a sense of peace and contentment.

“toru—…you perv.” he hummed in response, unable to process your words, so lost was he in the soothing rhythm of your touch.

“…hmm baby?” He slowly lifted his head to gaze up at you, the flickering bonfire casting a warm glow on his pale skin. “stop face planting on my chest.” you pouted at his lazy smile “s’what babyyy…” he lays his head head down again sideways “boobies so comfy like a pillow, or better than a pillow” he mumbled as he rested his eyes once again.

You flicked his forehead, causing him to let out a soft whine. He tightened his hold on you, burying his face deeper into your chest. You sighed, realizing that you could never prevent him from doing perverted things, but then you realized that the day was spent without his glasses most of the time, so you let him have the comfort.

There were moments when Satoru was like this, too exhausted to move, a painful migraine throbbing around his eye. You came to understand this about him after he began spending nights at your place, revealing his vulnerability in those quiet, intimate times.

The exhaustion came from his life as a sorcerer. Ever since his friends left him, even his bestfriend Geto, he had been facing these missions alone, and they were relentless. As Nanami had asserted that Gojo should alone take on these missions, being the strongest, to prevent others from dying due to his perceived selfishness.

You scoffed internally. Nanami and the others didn’t fail to remind Satoru of his responsibilities, and you couldn’t help but loathe them for it. It was already enough that he lost his childhood due to being the Strongest. You loved him even before knowing about his sorcery life, and you wanted to love him more, to give him what he couldn’t have. You just wanted to hold him close and tell him that everything was going to be okay.

The night sky glittered with stars, and a comforting silence enveloped the place. Satoru had passed out on you, and you chuckled at his slightly open mouth. There were also times his drool would get on your chest. The waves lapped gently against the shore, and the fire grew smaller by the soft breeze.

Satoru appreciated and loved you. You were both his best friend and his lover. He couldn't ask for more. You were everything he yearned for, an escape from his sorcery life through moments like this with you, his beautiful, loving girlfriend.

He often wished that times like these would last forever. He just hoped that someday, once someone surpassed him, he could retire. He dreamed of buying the modern Japanese house you always wanted, putting a ring on your finger, having tons of kids running around the house, and growing old with you.

Little did he know what his future held.

Credits for divider- daddldee on tumblr!

𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚛𝚍 🥥⊹ ࣪ ˖ ☼

[earthry]

Hello love I know your requests are closed, but i have to get it out of my system and tell to you about it (please just ignore me) I can't stop thinking about the idea of papas breaking up with reader to protect them and even telling them 'I never loved you' because this way it will be a faster way for reader to move on and stop asking question to their papa, BUT i think the even more angstiest plot twist would be if it was the exactly same day when reader was ready to tell her papa she's pregnant. A few months/weeks after this whole breaking out thing he could by accident find out about 'the news' (im sorry for taking your time, but this thing is on my mind literally on a loop for days and i think you're angst enjoyer just like me ALSO i hope you have an amazing weekend)

~🐍

Aksjshsh ANON it’s funny cause I literally had something almost exactly like that in my discarded drafts snsbsbsb I don’t really plan on finishing it or writing a full HC for it, but here's a little treat just for you. You can imagine any Papa here <3

tw: pregnancy, slut-shaming, self deprecation, hurt/comfort, angst, breaking up, happy ending! please keep in mind this is mostly unedited and just randomly written out spur of the moment.

After the breakup, everything he does reminds him of you. 

It was a mistake— thinking that breaking up with you would set you on the right path, a better one. You had a whole life ahead of you, he didn’t want you wasting it by waiting for him every time he left for tour or had to cancel plans to attend to his papal duties.

He can see the toll it takes on you, the crestfallen expression you think you hide so well when he has to leave a date night early or when he has to call a rain check. The anxiety vibrating off you when you text him after a new concert video is released of him flirting with the audience, asking if it's okay to get reassurance that it’s just an act.

He needed to let you go.

It broke his heart to, but he in his eyes it was setting you free for your own good. You would never let him go if you knew his reasoning— he knew this so he had to make it seem like he didn’t want you anymore.

You didn’t believe him at first, begging him to open up to you and to stop joking around. You were convinced something or someone must have said something; the Papa you knew loved you, he wouldn’t suddenly fall out of love so quickly or be so cruel. 

So he aims for the heart. He tells you it wasn’t really real, that it was all a game to him to play house for a while because he was curious. Now that his curiosity has been sated and he is bored, he sees no reason to keep you around.

It hurts him to say so, and he will never forgive himself for it, but he tells you that he never loved you in the first place, that you were just another body. That you were so easy to bed, it only took a few sweet words and you had already fallen so hard. He calls you laughable. Pathetic. A whore. He laughs as tears begin to gather, taunting you when you run out crying.

You avoid him after that— and he has his Ghouls deliver anything that you’d left in his room to your old room. 

You toss the positive pregnancy test that you were waiting for the perfect moment to show him— it seems like there would be no perfect moment, there would be no moment at all.

He may not have loved you, but you did. Despite the pain, you can’t imagine a universe that you wouldn’t keep his baby. 

You just don’t know how he’ll react. Once upon a time you had thought he would never ask you to get rid of the baby, that he would ask you what you wanted first and respect that decision. But you had also thought he loved you just as much and you were so very wrong.

You try hiding it as long as you can but eventually your belly gets too round to conceal. 

You can see the realization cross his face in real time and when he tries approaching, you can’t help but look at him with hurt, fearful eyes. All it takes is for you to rest a protective hand on your stomach to tell him what he wanted to know. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out, “I’m sorry, please don’t make me—“ you swallow back a soft sob, unable to even finish the sentence.

Of all the things he’s ever done, leading a satanic church, promoting sin and pleasure and corruption, this will forever be what he feels guiltiest for.

He doesn’t even think before reaching for you, trying to pull you into his arms to comfort. Can't think of anything else except that right now he needs to soothe you, needs to fix this.

Before, you would have melted into his embrace straight away. Now, however, you struggle and push him back.

He lets you, not wanting to force anything, not wanting to distress you. It’s bad for you— and the baby.

"Tesoro," He tries, gentling his tone as much as he can, holding his hands out with his palms up in an attempt to show that he means no harm, "Shh, shh— I won't make you, I'm not mad. I promise."

You don't believe him and he can tell from the way you are holding yourself— like a house of cards one blow from caving in. You don't know if you can do this again.

He had made promises before, too. Promises you had foolishly believed with naivety. How could you be so stupid, so gullible? To believe that out of all the people in the ministry, in the world, he would choose you? That Papa Emeritus himself could love you.

You should have seen it from the start but you had been too in love with him, too busy making sure you could be enough for him, only to realize that you never would be. There's a sinking realization that you were never enough in the first place.

You never meant anything, after all. He said it himself.

You wonder how it must have felt for him, to have to deal with your inadequacy and even your desire to learn how to make things feel good for him because you had little experience. He must have found it laughable, he certainly told you so.

You were laughable. Pathetic. Whore.

To want to be good at the one only thing you were good for... you wonder how he was able to stand you that long.

You put distance between you and him, arms wrapped protectively around your waist. He looks pained and you're having trouble figuring out what.

Was it because it would ruin his reputation? To have knocked up someone like you?

"I won't say anything," you rush out, "No one will know it's yours, please. Please let me keep it. Please."

"Amore mio—"

"I'm not your 'amore'. I never was, never will be. It's okay I understand that now. Please let me k-keep it."

"I..." He wants to say more, he wants to comfort you and hold you. But he doesn't really have a right to anymore and he can tell how upset you are, he doesn't want to aggravate you any further. "Yes, yes you can keep it. I won't interfere, you have my word."

You still look doubtful and he adds, "I swear to Lucifer himself."

There's a little more reassurance in that. You know him enough to know he wouldn't say those words lightly, even if he had lied to you and toyed with you the way he did. There's a relief that passes over you and you thank him as quickly as you can before dashing off. You hear him shout your name but you don't stop and he doesn't follow.

---

INSERT PAPA DOING HIS BEST TO MAKE UP AND DO EVERYTHING HE CAN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. LOTS OF SELF LOATHING FOR PAPA BECAUSE HE DID A FUCKYWUCKY.

Eventually there's a moment where you ask why he's being nice, why he's doing this and he tells you he loves you and you call him a liar. He then admits his mistake and apologizes. He says he'll never do it again and will wait until the end of time for your forgiveness if necessary. Or if you never give it, he will wait forever even after the end of time. He is at your mercy.

You eventually warm up to him with hesitation, but you're cautious and always bracing yourself for the catch, for the bad things to happen again.

Papa continues doing his best to support you and be there for you and when he shows his dedication by being there for the birth of his baby and being there for you the entire time, you finally let him back in and offer him the first olive branch by asking him if he would like to hold his child for the first time.

[shurisneakers]

inked #1

Summary: bucky is Shit At Talking so he just writes to his best friend. who he is absolutely not in love with. nope. it's just a therapy project. really.

Warnings: cursing, just bucky being his angsty cynical ass self

Word count: 350

A/N: i have like 15 excerpts from letters like this lying around my drafts for weeks so im just letting them free into the world. very loosely kind of like alex turner's letters to alexa chung. i hope this should be easy to write and remains drabbles since it's kinda low effort and im not really expecting people to read this hehe

This is bullshit.

Never been good with words. Could have been, if I spent more time in school instead of the docks. Steve managed to find something for himself out of his art. I got busy trying to keep things around me from going to shit.

For the record, these are not love letters. Christ, do you know how long it's been since I wrote one? A hundred fuckin years ago, and I can’t even remember her name now.

But I need to get out of therapy, and Raynor says this is a step towards that. Just an outlet.

It’s homework, is what it fucking is. Like I’m back in middle school. 

I fucking tell you, i don’t even know why I’m doing this now. I should be asleep. The crackass of dawn isn’t even happening for a few more hours. 

I don’t think this is going to be a regular thing. Contrary to what the doc says, most days I don’t know what’s going on in my head. If I do ever manage to figure it out, I'm guessing you'd already be long gone.

It’s useless, is what I’m trying to get at here. If you haven’t already cracked that. If there's any god out there that hasn't already deemed me unsalvagable, you'll never have to read these.

But it's the middle of the night and I know you're awake. I can hear you teetering around out there. I wonder if anyone else can hear you, or you know I'll be listening.

Anyone else, I'd have closed my damn eyes and pretend I couldn't hear.

But in a few seconds I know I'm going to pull on a shirt and go looking for you to see what you want at fucking 3am. I want to know why.

I know you have them too. Nightmares. Nothing I can fix-- same as you, with mine. Truth be told, there’s nothing about you I want to fix, anyway. 

But if you're out at 3am, trying to be quiet, I know you're looking for the homemade bread. It's above the microwave.

Give me a few seconds. I'll join you. 

I know where they've kept the good olive oil.

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing!

anyway, if you want to send in prompts for future letters, please do!

[sungbeam]

OFF THE RECORD ▷ PART TWO (EP9-17)

nonidol!ji changmin x fem!reader

everyone thinks ji changmin is cute and harmless, but you know that's not who he really is.

▷ genre, part warnings. e2l, childhood friends gone bad, (extra) slow burn, fluff, angst, crying lol, mentions of childhood trauma and parental manipulation, arguing, bittersweet galore, nct ten is there for the sole purpose of being nosy like the rest of us or for being a 2nd male lead who knows!, swearing, hurt/comfort, kissing!, ji changmin dancing (need i go on), symptoms of panic/anxiety, a lot of non-tbz moments sorry i meant it when i said extra slow burn, im literally writing abt people who dance like gods but im a plebian w two left feet i have no idea what im looking at except for hips—, pining haha...ha (more subtle until the end), he's in a bathrobe near the end sorry children

▷ PART TWO WC. 17.6k

love in unity series m.list / otr part one

a/n: if u haven't read part one GO AWAY GO READ PART ONE ??? WHAT'RE U DOING HERE

EPISODE NINE: OFF THE AIR

IT was common knowledge that the week before finals week was referred to as the dreaded Dead Week. Campus was barren, coffee shops and libraries were packed, and almost everybody lived in some variation of sweats, hoodies, and eye bags. You were actually holed up in the research lab (yes, again) because your deadline to get this paper to your graduation advisor was literally looming over your shoulder, and though you were practically done, you were too paranoid of not catching some dumb typo before you turned it in.

Plus, the coffee in the lab break room was free and sponsored by your resident graduate student supervisor, and beloved older brother figure, Qian Kun. God rest his workaholic soul and empty pockets.

There weren't many people here this afternoon; most had retreated to their own homes or offices or wherever they dwelled during the Week of the Dead.

Then there was Ten.

"So do you guys just wither away here by yourselves?" Amongst the empty workbenches, his words seemed to unnecessarily resonate. From his perch in Kun's office, he spread his arms wide to gesture to all the empty space.

Kun pressed his fingers to the space between his eyes. "Yes, now let me wither in peace."

"No, I don't think I will."

You felt yourself smile. Ten had come in a few hours ago with lunch for both you and Kun. Supposedly, when he had heard that the two of you habitually ran on only coffee and dreams during Dead Week, he took it upon himself to swing by the nearest fast food restaurant and pick up a very belated lunch for you both. You’d chomped down on it with Kun in his office, but as soon as you were done, you retreated back to your desk.

The sky outside of the research laboratory was already beginning to bruise to a gray-blue-purple, the color of a dusty blueberry. Soon, you would have to surrender yourself to the night and head back home, but hopefully before that, you would decide that you were at least too tired to continue staring at these same seventeen pages for hours on end…

All three heads perked up at the sound of the laboratory building door opening and closing in the distance. None of you were exactly expecting anyone, especially when people usually indicated when they would come into work. You craned your neck from your workbench to see who had come in—

“I’ll only be a minute,” you heard and recognized your colleague Jacob Bae as he strode in from the outside corridor and into the main laboratory floor.

He met your eyes and smiled. “Hey, Yn.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

He let out a sigh as he jogged past your desk and headed toward a cupboard in the back corner. “I forgot that I left my—” His voice cut out as he ducked into the dark cupboard and withdrew a giant plastic tub. From the plastic innards filled with paper, he fished out a specific packet of paper shoved into a flimsy manila folder. “Forgot my thesis draft.”

You coughed out a laugh. “Dude.”

His grin was innocent and boyish, standard Jacob. “What? A guy’s gonna forget some things sometimes.”

“Is that what you tell your girlfriend?”

He sent you an unimpressed look. “Ha ha, Yn. Very funny. For your information, she’s more forgetful than me sometimes.” He stuck his tongue out at you as he passed by your workbench, and you, as the very mature person you were, stuck your tongue out back at him. It was only fair.

A cough sounded out from the entrance to the laboratory, and you turned your head to find Changmin, out of all people, standing awkwardly in the doorway. Peering out from behind the corner of the wall, however, was his friend Sunwoo from that other night. And yanking Sunwoo back behind the wall was Chanhee. Strange.

Someone (you suspected Chanhee) gave Changmin a firm shove into the laboratory, sending the latter stumbling in before he caught himself and regained his balance. He was swaddled in a dark colored puffer jacket and a red scarf, his red-tipped nose and cheeks bitten by the cold. For the first time, he looked smaller than he was, almost shy or nervous. You hadn’t encountered this Changmin in a long time.

He wasn’t one to look vulnerable out in the open like this.

As Jacob passed by Changmin, he clasped his shoulder in reassurance.

“Hi,” Changmin said slowly as he approached your workbench.

You were still a little dumbfounded that he was here again. “Uh, hi. What’re you doing here?” The argument the two of you had earlier in the week replayed in your mind, and you almost grimaced. You’d both said even more hurtful things, and you supposed you had just been so sensitive that your brain just automatically went into defense mode to protect yourself.

No, you hadn’t been there that night for him. You hadn’t expected to see anyone there at that time of night. That was the whole point of you going so late. You had been trying to get yourself to go into the practice room on your own, but the longer you had stood there, staring at the door, the more you realized you couldn’t do it. It still didn’t sit well with you, how affected you were by your mother’s past words.

Changmin kept his distance, but he came close enough that you could hear what he was trying to say without the others listening in too much. “I was wondering if we could talk.”

You blinked. “Talk? Like right now?” Your eyes darted to your computer screen and the practically finished paper displayed. It wasn’t like you wanted to keep working on it, but your heart beat startled at the sudden thought of having that very important conversation right now, when you weren’t ready.

He caught onto your movements though. “No, no—I mean,” he stammered, recovering with a quick swipe of his tongue over his lip, “just whenever. It doesn’t have to be now. I just figured it’d be best to get that… out in the air, you know?” I think it’s what we’ve been needing all this time. Something proper; no more yelling matches.

For a second, you thought you could see some of the old Changmin in this one. It wasn’t like he had changed, per se, it was more like he was finally showing that part of himself that you had been missing all along. You swallowed, nodding. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll, uhm, text you sometime tonight after I turn this paper in.”

He nodded back at you. “Yeah, cool.”

When you saw him begin to back away, a thought suddenly occurred to you. You called out to him to get him to stop, and you could have sworn that there was a gleam in his eyes then. “Changmin—about Sumin…” You inhaled deeply as you fought for the right words to express your next thoughts, “be gentle with her, okay?”

Even then there was a pang in your heart as you uttered those words. Sumin had texted you all about her interaction with Changmin a day or so ago regarding his “interview”, and she had been gushing about her crush on him. She had even asked you how much you knew about him and if you could give her a crash course in all things dance or even Changmin. Suffice to say, you felt trapped between a rock and hard place, but you didn’t want to let her down. (You’d always wanted to be a big sister; you didn’t want to push her away because of feelings that you were too petty to address.)

Changmin’s head tilted to the side as he made a confused face. “Huh?”

You sighed, “You seriously didn’t notice?”

“No, actually,” he quipped.

You pursed your lips; why weren’t you surprised? It wouldn’t be very cool of you to reveal Sumin’s crush on him if that wasn’t what she wanted. You would have to be subtle, but also not subtle, then. “Just—” you made a vague gesture with your hands, “—don’t be brash.”

“Brash?”

“Don’t be mean,” you amended.

“I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”

You thought even Ten rolled his eyes from where he was in Kun’s office. “You’re hopeless, really.”

Changmin’s face pinched, and he was moving back closer to your workbench. “I’ll have you know that we’re both hopeless.”

You deadpanned. “Now I’m pretty sure we’re not even in the same ballpark,” you muttered in exasperation. “Whatever. Your friends are waiting for you, Changmin.”

His lips pressed into a line. He glanced quickly over his shoulder where his friends were pretending to not be eavesdropping, then looked back at you. “Okay, yeah. Just don’t forget.”

“I won’t,” you promised.

EPISODE TEN: OFF THE MARKET

CHANGMIN glanced up at the entrance to the coffee shop, matching the sign in the window to the one he had searched up on his GPS app. It seemed to match from what he saw.

Today was the Friday of Dead Week, a handful of days after he dipped out of his interview with Sumin and confronted you at the laboratory. He had consulted Chanhee that day, regarding his mess of feelings about the situation with you, and Chanhee had practically forced him to go with him and Jacob to the laboratory. (Sunwoo just happened to tag along because he, apparently, felt left out.) Changmin wondered how Chanhee could have possibly known that you would be there, but Chanhee dismissed his worries by assuring him that after he asked you, he would feel a lot better and less like a hot pile of shit.

Chanhee was right, as per usual. Not that Changmin was going to admit that aloud to him ever.

But today was important because of two things in particular, and they both had to do with things that occurred several days ago. The first item on the agenda was going into this cafe to finish up that un-started interview with Sumin. After he had given her his number that day, she was swift to send a greeting text to him to set up a time and place to meet. Changmin actually had yet to visit this coffee shop in particular, but then again, he was a bit partial to the one Jacob introduced to the group last quarter.

Your words of advice, or caution, rang in his ears like the bell that twinkled above the door as he walked into the building. Be gentle with her. Don’t be brash. Don’t be mean. What did all of that even mean? He liked being interviewed, especially when it was about dance, so why would you think he would be anything but well-behaved? Part of him thought it was based off of the two of your interactions for the past three years, but he knew you had the good sense to know he didn’t treat just anyone like he treated you.

The thought remained fresh in his mind even as he scanned the room for a familiar face.

Sumin was seated in a secluded booth in the corner of the coffee shop. When she saw him, she waved him over excitedly, slipping her compact into her purse. Her laptop was left on the table in front of her, but unopened. Huh, maybe she just got here, too.

Changmin slid into the booth across from her. “Hi, sorry, were you waiting long?” He asked as he shouldered his jacket off and set his bag on top of it.

Sumin perked up a little bit. “Oh, no! Don’t worry. Did you have a good week?”

“Ah, as good as the week before finals can be, I suppose,” he chuckled, leaning back against the booth seat. His eyes darted to the unopened laptop still in the middle of the table and he cupped the back of his neck. “Did you wanna order anything to drink? Or have you ordered already?”

She shook her head, her hand reaching up to fidget with the end of one of her curled locks of hair. “Hm? No, I didn’t order yet! I was waiting for you so we could order something together—I mean, at the same time.”

“Cool, yeah,” he cleared his throat, signaling for one of the workers’ attention with a wave of his hand. “We can order and then get started.”

“Ah, ha, right.”

Once orders were taken, Sumin finally cracked open her laptop and got a couple things set up. Changmin patiently waited for her to get all settled, his eyes wandering about the shop and absentmindedly observing the workers behind the counter as they bustled about to prepare drinks and pastries.

Sumin coughed, “Okay, I figured that recording is a little unnecessary, so I’ll just be jotting some notes down on my laptop.”

Changmin bobbed his head. “Sounds good.”

She shifted in her seat, her posture straightening, as she figured out how exactly to start. “I hope you’ll be patient with me since I haven’t been doing this for a long time, but Yn gave me some pointers to start with,” she said sheepishly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“No problem! I totally understand; take your time.” He cocked his head to the side unconsciously, “Yn didn’t offer to sit in for your interviews?”

“Oh! Uh, she did, but I insisted that I was feeling confident enough to do them on my own,” she laughed lightly. “Definitely a bit nerve-wracking, but I think the interviews with Juyeon and a few of the other dancers went well earlier in the week.”

“Hey, I mean, I admire your courage,” he said with what he hoped was an encouraging enough smile. “Just take your time with it, Sumin. We’ll make sure to get you all the info you need.” There. Was that what you meant by not being mean? Wasn’t this just being considerate, though?

His foot tapped against the ground absentmindedly as he thought about the next thing on his agenda after this interview: talking to you. It was weird, having to almost set an appointment to have this very needed talk, but as you had said, you texted him your availability and the two of you just happened to both have this evening free. He just needed to finish this interview… There was still plenty of time.

His words to Sumin seemed to make her shoulders relax a little bit, and she jumped right into her first question. Changmin would answer as thoughtfully as could, which wasn’t too difficult seeing as he was literally talking about one of the things he was most passionate about in this world. He could probably talk about dance and his love for dance for days on end. Sumin, in turn, would skillfully and naturally continue the conversation so it felt a lot less like an interview, and more like an interaction between friends about dance.

Perhaps he didn’t even realize when the questions became less about his experience about dance and more about him; when Sumin gradually stopped typing notes down on her laptop and instead leaned her chin onto her hands to watch him; or when she suddenly asked—

“Is that your ideal first date then?”

Record scratch.

The words on Changmin’s tongue died instantly, and his brain scrambled to process what she had just said. “Sorry?”

Sumin’s eyes widened, her cheeks flushing. “I—I mean, you were talking about going to see live dance shows with your former partner and I just…” She shook her head with an embarrassed laugh, “Sorry, was that too forward?”

Changmin blinked once, twice; dear god, he must have been running his mouth without even realizing. “I was talking about Yn?”

That ripped Sumin right out of embarrassment—well, it was closer to mortification. The color on her cheeks had turned pale. “Yn is your ex?”

Fuck— “No, no, no! She’s not. She’s definitely not—”

Sumin covered her face with both of her palms in distress, a sentiment that was definitely shared between both parties in the booth. “Oh my god, and I’ve been telling her all about my crush on you, too. I must have looked so stupid.”

His eyes flew open. “Huh?!”

“Please, I’ve been so obvious, Changmin!”

Not to me, he thought. Jesus, was he really so blind? Was this what you meant this whole time? Changmin waved his hands around in an X formation, trying to reign the conversation into some level of sanity. “Sumin, I can assure you, that you definitely weren’t obvious until you literally just said it,” he began. “And so we’re clear, Yn is not my ex-girlfriend. She was my ex-dance partner and friend, but not a significant other.” As much as it sucked to admit that—

Sumin slowly lowered her hands from her face with the light reflected in her eyes wobbling. “Oh… okay, I guess that makes sense then.”

Changmin let out a haggard sigh, holding his hand to his head. “Yeah, well… I guess I should say that I’m sorry, but I don’t really share the same feelings for you?” He shook his head to himself, trying to rephrase: “What I mean is that I’m not exactly looking for a relationship. I’m kind of messed up right now.” Understatement of the century.

She pursed her lips, but nodded. “I get that. Thanks for being so cool about it.”

“Least I can do,” he said, clasping his hands together over the table.

“So,” she drawled with a wince, “I take it this interview is over?”

He brushed a hand through his hair. “If you have everything you need and there are no hard feelings?”

She inclined her head in the affirmative, and that was that.

— ✶

Even on a Friday evening, if it was the week before an exam season, the library study rooms were always packed, one occupier after the other. Attempting to score one was the equivalent of launching a stakeout, complete with charging cables, two cups of coffee, and a will of steel (to wait hours for a room to open up). Someone must have been looking out for you though as you managed to snatch a study room as soon as you arrived on the second floor of one of the main student libraries on campus. When you and Changmin had exchanged an, albeit brief, bit of texts, you both agreed that meeting somewhere that could serve as common ground would be good for the both of you. It had to be semi-private, as well, since neither of you wanted to let anyone else in on your private, personal problems.

The library study rooms were your solution, and maybe this was the universe’s sign that this discussion needed to happen.

As soon as the door closed gently behind you, you set yourself up in one of the chairs around the small, rectangular table at the center of the room. Changmin said he would be a couple minutes late because the bus had been late to pick up his stop and Chanhee was borrowing his car, so you texted him to let him know which room you were in.

While you waited, you attempted to ease your mind by scrolling through social media and flipping through emails and returning to social media, and wait, did you ever get a reply back from that one TA? All the while, your knee would bounce up and down ceaselessly, your fingers shaking and cold and numb. You were perhaps seconds away from your throat closing in on itself again, but then the door opened.

Changmin murmured a “hey” to you as he closed the door behind him and lowered himself into the seat across from you.

The room was quiet. “Hey,” you said back, clearing your throat.

You watched as his nostrils flared slightly as he exhaled. “What did you mean by ‘when did I stop caring’?”

You were a little startled that he decided to start right away, but on the other hand, relieved that he did. You wouldn’t have known how to begin anyway. “When did you stop caring?” You parroted in case you hadn’t heard him right. If you weren’t mistaken, he was referring to what you had said that night in front of the practice rooms.

He gave a nod. “Yeah, I was thinking about what you said…” He scratched his jaw, continuing lowly, “...y’know, on the bus ride over here. And I just don’t understand where in the world you got the idea that I ever stopped caring about you.” He met your eyes then, and you could see the tightness in his jaw, but the gleam in his irises.

This wasn't about being right anymore; it was about making things right.

"You—" you grappled for words, finding yourself pinned down by Changmin's relentlessly piercing gaze, "—I just got so much radio silence from you."

"You were giving me the same excuses."

"Because it was the same, exact problem," you fired back. "And, okay, so they were excuses, but god, Changmin. I could just see how with each passing day, you looked at me differently because I was late or I told you I couldn't make it. Didn't I give you reasons why? Just that disappointment and cold shoulder…" It broke my damn heart.

Changmin's arms were crossed over his chest as he considered your words, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. "I never," he began, "thought poorly of you, Yn." It sounded like he was struggling to piece together the right words, too, and he choked down a swallow. "I was going through a lot of shit around that time, and my patience was always paper thin by the time it was our usual practice time, y'know? It was never you specifically I was mad at."

He paused for a moment. His head hung, and he picked at a stray thread on his jacket cuff. "My parents said they wouldn't support me if I majored in dance."

Your heart stopped clean.

"They basically said I'd have to finance myself for all four years if I wanted to make dancing a career," he said with a flippant, helpless gesture. "I was given some scholarship money from the school, but it was nowhere near a full ride. So I was stressed the fuck out because I knew I needed to win those comps to get more money. They were cool with me dancing as, like, a hobby or a way to get into college, but as soon as I told them my intended major was dance?"

Well, shit.

Horror pooled in your gut, the kind that started up at your shoulders and spider-crawled down the length of your spine. "I'm so sorry, Changmin. That must have been so much pressure for you, oh my god."

This entire time, you'd been under the impression that his parents were fine and dandy with their son becoming a dancer. He'd always had a natural, prodigal talent for the art form. He was the absolute cream of the crop from your class, and you couldn't believe they could be anything but proud of having a son like him.

But you supposed you shouldn't have assumed. There was a cost to being a hypocrite.

Changmin nodded, but it wasn't very affirming. It was like he had heard it all before and had already accepted it all grimly and reluctantly. "Yeah, well… I won all those comps, but what did I lose in the process, y'know?"

He gestured to you. "I just thought I'd always have you to run back to, but you were going through your own stuff. I'm not trying to pin the blame on you—it's… just that… you were my best friend. My partner."

"It's funny you say that," you said then, drumming your fingers anxiously against your leg. "I thought I could rely on you, too. And I definitely drifted away from you, but it was because of my own reasons."

Changmin nodded, settling his hands on top of the table and leaning in slightly.

Still, every time you told someone, you could never get it right. But maybe you could get it right this time. "You know how my parents got divorced and I said that my mom had changed?"

His forehead creased then, and he nodded again.

"She started yelling a lot," you said. "Would always make me listen to her scream in my face about how dance was useless, how dance would never help me in the real world, how I was absolutely awful at it and that I should be focusing on something worth my time." You swallowed, continuing on, "And when I told you I couldn't make it or that I was late, it was because she started refusing to take me to practices and competitions and shows.

"And I mean—I tried really hard to keep going, Changmin, I really did." You raised your eyes to meet his and found him staring at you still, but this time you saw that glisten in his eyes again. The tension in his jaw had slackened, and had been replaced with that same dread you had while he was telling you what happened to him. "I thought that I could get past what my mom kept telling me, and that once I got to the practice room—I just needed to get to the practice room—it would all be worth it."

There was a stinging feeling in the back of your eyes, at your tear glands. Your vision was blurring and you blinked back the traitorous tears.

Changmin pursed his lips, his face contorting slightly as he too tried to contain the emotions welling up in him. "And then I shut you out."

"We shut each other out."

"Why—" he rasped, his hand coming up to cover part of his mouth, "—didn't you tell me? I would've—god, I would've—" He didn't know, actually, but all he knew was that he would've been better. Would he have though? Truly? Would you have?

"I didn't like talking about it," you confessed, sniffling. You were ashamed of yourself, both then and now. You raised your hand up to wipe the corner of your eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, fuck, don't apologize." He stood, arms opening and palms turning upward like an offering, "C'mere."

Both of you, teary-eyed messes, stumbled out of your chairs to close the distance in each other's arms. It was the feeling of finally holding each other after three years that made the two of you break down completely. The study room's quiet was filled with sounds of messy, blubbering sobs—hands grappling at the other's jacket, faces shoved into the warmth of a neck or shoulder.

Two pieces of a puzzle having finally been reunited.

This was where you belonged.

"This was all I wanted," you bawled into his shoulder.

It seemed to make his body tremble harder. "I would've given it to you—god, I would've given you anything. I'm so goddamn sorry."

"Hey," you mused half-heartedly, "if I'm not allowed to apologize, then neither are you."

He gave a watery chuckle. "Okay, fine." His wet eyelashes fluttered as he closed his eyes and tightened his hold around you. "That must have been awful, Yn. How…? Just how."

You rested your cheek against his toned shoulder. "Somehow… I don't really know. I'm proud of you, though, you know? I'm really proud of you."

"Thank you. I'm proud of you, too." He sniffled, mouth pressing against your shoulder. "All this time, I thought you hated dance and hated me."

"Oh, god no," you sniffled, sucking in a breath. "I—I knew I couldn't be strong anymore; I didn't want to disappoint you." And when you could no longer attend those practices, you had believed it would be better to not be there to drag him down. You thought that without having to wait on you every time, he would have been all the better. You see now that perhaps you were wrong in your logic.

For a moment, the two of you stood there in the other's arms as words settled and feelings sunk in. The realization that this tension between the two of you was possibly over now was crazy.

"For the record," Changmin murmured, "you're a great dancer. No matter what your mom told you, you'll always be a great dancer."

You laughed a little, shaking your head. "Not anymore, I'm not."

"That's where you're wrong." He pulled away from you and you saw the tears staining his dimpled cheeks, but the smile he was giving you was something out of a dream. He gently, playfully punched your arm. "You're still my partner, after all."

EPISODE ELEVEN: OFF THE SHELF

EVER since Changmin, Chanhee, JC!Yn, and her roommate Kei decided to change the weekly grocery shopping session to Saturday mornings, Changmin had never been so grateful for such a change until now. It used to be on Sunday mornings during the fall quarter because JC!Yn volunteered at the local children’s club on Saturday mornings, but since the Sunny Side Up Club had begun closing its doors on the weekend until summer break, her Saturdays had suddenly freed up.

Kei, as usual, had waltzed off in search of her own shopping list items, leaving JC!Yn and Changmin with the shopping cart of groceries and Chanhee sitting in the middle of it, cross-legged and swaddled in a pink hoodie.

“That’s awful,” JC!Yn lamented as she slowly trailed after Changmin while pushing the cart. There was a frown etched into her face, as well as Chanhee’s, while and after Changmin had caught them up on the events of the previous day’s talk with you. “I mean, I know some parents are super strict about their kids studying, but…” She shook her head, “You’ve both been through a terrible amount of shit, man.”

Chanhee nodded his agreement, peering up at Changmin who was at the helm of the cart, staring at the label on a container of canned corn blankly. “Yeah, for sure. How’re you holding up, Changminnie?”

Changmin shrugged half-heartedly and rather mopey. “As well as I could be.”

“Well, are you guys good now?” JC!Yn asked. “Y’know, after clearing all the air?”

Changmin made a face at the canned corn, but handed it to Chanhee to place amongst the other things in the cart with him. “I mean, kind of? Not really?” He scratched the side of his head, and his two friends looked on at him, then exchanged worried glances. Usually Changmin was the one cracking jokes, but to see him in such a state… “It’s just a little awkward now because we’ve been on ice around each other for years. Going back to normal shouldn’t be easy, should it?”

Chanhee pursed his lips, his head tilting from side to side. “That’s true. When you guys were still in grudge era, you let all the angst between you do the talking.”

“Angst? I was not angsty, for your information.”

Both of his companions scoffed their disagreement. “Every single time her name was brought up around you, you gazed far off like some kind of angsty main hero,” Chanhee retorted. “Like Kevin at that one dinner when we were interrogating Eric.”

JC!Yn laughed. “That feels like so long ago.”

Changmin sent her a look, the corner of his lips tilting upward like the arch of his eyebrow. “That’s because you and Jacob act like you’ve been married for ten years.”

Her face heated at those words, but she held her chin up in pride. “I’m gonna pretend this is your jealousy talking.”

“Oh, please,” he quipped back and turned back to the shelves to hunt for any other familiar labels that would trigger his hunger. “If I wanted to be so grossly in love—”

“Then you’d go find Yn?”

“—Then I’d go find Y—HEY!” Changmin sputtered as his cheeks lit up like the can of roasted red bell peppers in his hand. Chanhee and JC!Yn exploded into equal fits of delighted cackles, the former extending his arm back so the latter could return his fistbump. Changmin scowled through his flustered haze. “Whatever; taking advantage of my vulnerable state is not cool, guys.”

Chanhee beamed up at his best friend with the kind of smile that no one could be mad at. It was impish, adorable even. “Aw, it’s only ‘cause we love you.”

“Gross,” Changmin muttered, wrinkling his nose dramatically, then nudging his glasses up his nose.

As she stopped the cart behind Changmin, JC!Yn rested her arm against the bar and let her chin sit atop her fist as she and Chanhee watched Changmin scour the shelves again. “Didn’t you say you had feelings for her back then, Changmin-ah? Would you say they were still present or not?”

He sucked in a breath at the question as he let the question marinate in his brain. After yesterday’s world-altering talk with you, neither of you were able to stay too long afterward to catch up. You’d both, unfortunately, been called to your own separate summons. But this morning, when Changin had woken up with the information having been properly processed in his brain and given him room to overthink as he did… Truthfully, he had no idea where the two of you stood with one another. It wasn’t going to be the same, not like childhood and not like the past three years.

He didn’t exactly know what to say to you now, only that there was still that emptiness in his chest. He hadn’t expected the feeling to go away, but he also hadn’t expected it to remain. What was he supposed to do? He was pretty sure you didn’t even like him like that back then, so there was no way your feelings would have changed in that sense over the past three years. Some said that distance made the heart grow fonder, and while Changmin wasn’t one for cliche lines, he did feel an ache for you. He wanted to make up for lost time. Even if you didn’t feel the same way he had back then, it didn’t mean that he still felt the same… right?

“I think we lost him,” came Chanhee’s very loud stage whisper.

Changmin shook out of his mind and leveled a glare at his two friends. “I’ll think about it.”

“Didn’t you just think about it?”

“Hey, if JC!Yn-ie can take an entire quarter to tell Jacob-ssi her feelings, then you can give me like, five minutes to think about mine!” He squawked, waving his arms around in the air like one of those car-wash balloon people that flopped around in the wind. Except this one was high on emotions and his round lenses were slipping down his nose, adding to his overall mad man-like look.

JC!Yn deadpanned, shaking her head as she began pushing the cart after Changmin. She muttered under her breath, “He’s just astounded that he has feelings for someone, JC!Yn. Let him be touchy today.”

Chanhee, who had heard her speak to herself loud and clear, twisted around to grin and pat her arm reassuringly. “He’s just malfunctioning because he might actually have a chance now.”

“I can hear you!”

Chanhee chuckled, and the sound was villainous.

The three of them, as per routine, met up with Kei at the checkout lanes. There was one occasion where one of the workers was so tired that they tried to scan Chanhee and make them pay for him, but other than that, most people just offered him a sweet from the jar on the counter. As groceries were bagged up, and Kei was caught up on the situation at hand in verbal bullet point format, she took only a moment to suggest: “Why don’t you invite her to the dance showcase?”

All eyes went to Changmin, even as JC!Yn pushed the cart out with the group.

Changmin chewed his bottom lip. “I would, but... I dunno. I don’t want to trigger anything for her.” He winced to himself, “It would be really cool to have her there, of course! But I literally saw her in the practice room a week ago and she looked like she was seconds away from having a full-on panic attack.” As much as inviting you to watch him perform for the first time in three years thrilled him (and nearly sent him into cardiac arrest), he had seen you that day—blanched, struggling to breathe. He couldn’t imagine just what thoughts were running through your head then, especially after hearing what you had told him yesterday.

He was so—god, he was so angry at your mother. He knew about the divorce and the negative effect it had on her, but for her to practically take all that energy out on you? It was something simply unforgivable. His heart hurt for you.

Chanhee dipped his head in a slight nod, mouth curved down into a frown again. "That's fair. But I mean, it wouldn't hurt to ask, would it?"

"I just don't want to come off as insensitive, especially after three years of the cold shoulder." Your words from yesterday had penetrated him deeply—he hoped to never make you feel abandoned ever again.

Kei peered around at Changmin from the other side of JC!Yn. "If it counts, I don't think she'll take it as being insensitive, Changmin."

"She might feel better about getting, y'know, a personal invitation from you," JC!Yn chimed in. "Even if she isn't comfortable with going, she'll know you're thinking of her."

Changmin pressed his knuckles to his lips, bouncing on the balls of his feet anxiously. It was amusing, and perhaps a little concerning, for his friends to see him like this. He flapped the ends of his sweater sleeves in the air like he was hyping himself up. "Okay. Okay, yeah, I'll invite her to see me perform."

He raised an arm into the air toward the sky. "The next time I see her, that's what I'll—"

"Oh, look, she's right there," said Chanhee, pointing in the distance from his cart throne.

Changmin squeaked, "She's what?!" He slid behind JC!Yn in a very poor attempt to hide himself from the oncoming party.

Said party consisted of you, Yeri, Mark, and Ten—again. Except, instead of the coffee shop across the shopping mall, it was the parking lot on his friends' turf. Mark and Yeri were the first to see Changmin's friend group, both of them making unsubtle glances at Changmin. They passed by with friendly greetings, excusing themselves as they argued over the possibility of the store having watermelon (the answer was no; sorry Mark).

You and Ten lagged behind slightly, seemingly deep in conversation. The latter listened intently, but he felt eyes on him and looked up. His eyes twinkled as he made eye contact with Changmin—Changmin couldn't tell whether or not he liked that feeling.

You realized that he was looking outward and onward, and so you followed his gaze. Your eyes widened a tad at the sight of Changmin's friend group manifesting out of nowhere. "Hi guys," you said with an awkward smile when you and Ten met them in the middle.

"Hi Yn-ie," Chanhee giggled, turning around to wag his eyebrows at Changmin.

Changmin threw back a very unimpressed scowl. He let a smile grace his face just as he looked back at you. "Hey Yn, Ten."

JC!Yn unsubtly began pushing the cart to uncover Changmin. "Hey, you two. Changmin was actually just talking about you, Yn!"

Traitor! Changmin's jaw dropped.

Ten grinned. "That's really funny, 'cause Yn was just talking about you, Changmin."

You glared daggers at your friend with the same level of betrayal in your eyes as Changmin expressed. At least you were both getting thrown under the bus.

Kei nudged him. "Don't you have something to say to her?"

"We'll get out of your hair!" Chanhee chirped, patting the side of the cart as JC!Yn resumed her pushing on the cart past you and Ten. "See you at the car, Changminnie!"

As Changmin's last line of defense walked away with JC!Yn and the shopping cart prince, Ten inclined his head to you. "Should I stick around for this?"

You sighed under your breath. "Probably not. I'll see you inside?"

"Whatever suits your fancy," he mused, shrugging. As he passed by Changmin, he winked, then whistled some random tune as he went on his merry way.

"So what's up?" You asked him then. It seemed to be a cozy morning for you as you fidgeted with the ends of your big, woolen sweater. There was something delicate about the way the corners of your lips curled up into a smile.

Changmin cupped the nape of his neck. "Oh, uh, I know we had that whole talk yesterday, and I was wondering if you'd wanna come see my performance at the winter showcase on Friday?" He added quickly, "No pressure, of course. If you're uncomfortable, then you don't have to worry."

Your lips pursed together in a slight pucker. "I'd actually love to go. I mean—" you swallowed, "—I haven't gone to one since freshman year, but I'd love to."

"You can leave whenever you start feeling uncomfortable," he assured you, but he was smiling widely now. "It'll be cool to, y'know, have you in the audience."

"That means a lot, Changmin," you said earnestly, your smile sweet. It was almost weird to not have you frowning or glaring at him. It felt… good. It felt really good. “I will try my best.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets as he rocked on his heels, teeth biting down on his bottom lip to suppress the eager grin threatening to come out. “That’s all I could ask for.”

EPISODE TWELVE: OFF THE CHARTS

YOU were late. You were extremely late, actually, and to be honest, if you had known the bus was going to break down in the middle of the stupid road, you would have gotten off and walked. But then again, you were practically buried in all of the bundles of flowers you wanted to bring for your friends performing tonight. There were four bundles in total that you bothered to pick out just about two hours ago, one for Minho, one for Jungwoo, one for Ten, and of course, you could not forget one for Changmin.

When Changmin had personally invited you to come see his performance tonight earlier in the week, you couldn’t deny that the feeling made your chest warm and fuzzy. Even as you trudged your way up the stairs to the front of the performing arts building, you were filled with adrenaline and antsy energy. You’d waited so long for this, hadn’t you?

The last time you had come to see the winter showcase was in freshman year, the year the Daily asked you to write a review piece on one of the performers debuting that year, and even that had been enough of dance for the years following. It would be nice to know, this time, that you were wanted in the audience. (Changmin would have wanted you in the audience all this time, but you didn’t know that.)

Because you were unquestionably late, the doors to the hall would be closed shut now.

That was why having a friend like Boo Seungkwan was paramount.

“Thank you,” you gasped as one of the doors to the performance hall burst open and allowed you into the warmth of the lobby. You could hear the bass of whatever song was on and the audience’s cheers from here.

Seungkwan swept half of the bouquets from your arms with a click of his tongue. “Yah, you’re insane for taking the bus all the time. Yeri even asked to pick you up!”

“I know, I know!” You cried, the two of you scurrying over to one of the doors in the hall. “I panicked at the last second to get flowers and then I had to go all the way to the shop on fifth! By the way, did you know they’re open until 11?”

Both of your voices quieted as you slipped into the darkened auditorium. The stage was the only part illuminated in blinding, searing hot spotlights. You had just walked in on a brief break between acts as performers switched on and off stage. Seungkwan led you to one of the rows of seats in the nosebleeds that was relatively in the middle.

All of your friends practically occupied the entire row, and they lit up in delight at the sight of you.

“Yo Yn!” Mark whispered as he leaned over Yeri. “You’re actually here!”

Yeri reached over to squeeze your hand as you took the open seat next to her, and Seungkwan took the last seat in the aisle. “I’m so happy you’re here, Yn-ie.”

Doyoung and Kun peered out from around Mark, and you recognized a couple others from the NCT frat and RVE sorority further down the row. “Hey guys,” you said quietly to them as you wrangled your purse into your lap and adjusted the flowers in your arms, “how much did I miss?”

“Not much at all," Doyoung replied. "It's just been a few of the first years."

"We've got a little while until the older batch," Kun said with a wave of the program in his hands.

You nodded your understanding and settled into your seat to get comfortable. The performances went on one after the other. There was a mix of all different genres, ranging from contemporary ballet to tap and popping. Because everyone in the final winter showcase were in some kind of dance course on campus, a lot of the acts displayed a ton of experience already, even as first-years.

The longer the night went on, the less you believed your antsiness was a result of a nervous tick, but rather the bottled up adrenaline building up from watching all the performances. At some point, you realized you weren't even analyzing the performances anymore, but rather, sitting in awe of each one.

When a brief intermission was announced, Yeri and one of her sorority sisters squeezed past to head to the restroom while a few others from the row headed out to stretch their limbs and find some other friends. You and Seungkwan lingered in your seats, discussing your favorite performances so far, as well as how your finals weeks had gone for each of you.

"I'm just so glad we have spring break now," he groaned, his head hanging with exhaustion. "I might have skipped tonight if that meant I could sleep early."

"You would have regretted it though," you pointed out to him.

He gestured with his hand. "Right, you are." He let out a sigh as he raised his head and met your smile with a tired one of his own. "Well, Yn, you did it. You're watching your first full winter showcase. How do you feel?"

Your gaze flickered back to the stage. The house lights had come on for intermission, leaving the stage drenched in darkness. You could have sworn you saw the heavy red curtains shudder as if someone had poked their head out to view the audience. You remembered when you and Changmin used to do that when you were kids.

You turned back to Seungkwan. "I feel surprisingly okay," you confessed. "I was a little nervous before, but I think that I'm doing good."

He nodded. "Good. I'm glad you're here."

"Thanks, Kwan." You exhaled. "I didn't fully realize how long this was gonna be," you mused.

Seungkwan raised a brow at you. "Well, didn't you only stay for like, Changmin's performance last time you were here?"

"Well, yeah—"

The house lights suddenly shuttered off, and people rushed back to their seats. Your friends who were coming back squeezed past you and Seungkwan, effectively cutting off your conversation from before. The last half of the night would be handed over to the students who were majoring in dance and had been a part of the program for over two years.

You were properly in awe of the next performances. They had decided to put Ten out first, dancing to a song called Baby Don't Stop. He had mentioned the song to you once, but you hadn't really thought much about it until now. It was a side of Ten you hadn't seen yet since you had never seen him dance properly, but… you were definitely going to need to gush about this to him afterward.

You were pretty sure the crowd didn't quiet down for five performers in a row, as crazy-talented dancers such as Minho and Jungwoo followed after.

Each performance was incomparable to the next, and soon, you were sucking in a breath to the sound of Changmin's name being announced.

You slapped your hands onto Seungkwan's and Yeri's on either side of you, both of whom squeezed and shook your hands back as the curtain rose.

The lighting began a deep, electric purple, painting Changmin to look like a dark silhouette on stage. You almost couldn't make out the details of his white and black suit-like uniform. It was dynamic and unique with the suit cut outs and gloves, and he paired it all with an eye look that made his eyes feel darker and smokier.

He was still at first—until a set of horns, like trumpets, blared from the speaker's and he began striding forward.

You heard Mark gasp from two seats over. "Holy shit, he's dancing to Action Figure."

You vaguely recognized the title, but if you were thinking of the right song, then the room was about to get a lot louder. Unconsciously, you squeezed Seungkwan and Yeri's hands as you leaned forward and lingered on the edge of your seat.

The performance was everything you expected and more. Changmin was, as you had expressed before, the absolute cream of the crop. Each movement was brought with sharp precision, like the blade of a knife. Even during the slower bridge portion, he somehow executed the legato-like movements with a crispness of 4K HDR quality.

Everyone in the room held their breath (or screamed it out) with each sultry gaze, each lick of his lips, each smirk—a great dancer, a great performer; he would forever be one of the greats. That, you were very certain of.

When the song came to an end and he raised his head to peer at the audience through his bangs, you and everyone else erupted into applause, whistles, yelling—all the works. Your heart palpitated so hard in your chest that you thought it was trying to mimic his own dance. You were practically shaking from all of the bottled energy, and…

"Wow," you breathed out as you leaned back in your seat as the stage was reset for the next act. Your knee began bouncing fervently, sending the flowers in your lap up and down as well.

Seungkwan murmured his agreement, "Whew. I can't tell if I'm attracted or intimidated."

You snorted, patting his hand with your palm. "Both?"

"Probably."

You laughed, your hand lifting up to absentmindedly press against the base of your throat and sternum.

You couldn't help but think about what Changmin had revealed to you that day. How could a pair of parents not be absolutely floored to have a son as talented as Ji Changmin? It was so unbelievable to you, but you couldn't imagine how it might have felt to suddenly have all that support be ripped out from beneath your feet like his support had been.

The performances following would finish off those of the solo category. Afterwards, a handful of groups performed, including repeats of a few performers. Minho and Jungwoo had performed a stage together (Finesse, if you weren't mistaken), while Changmin and Juyeon made a return to the stage with another sultry hit by the name of Light a Flame.

By the end of the night, you were eager to head backstage to see your friends who had just performed their hearts out.

Plus, the bouquets were wilting.

Once the house lights had thunked to life, and the crowd was beginning to lessen, the row you were seated in with your friends stood together. Some of them were going to head straight home, but a few others planned to stay back to congratulate the performers on a night well done.

"You guys ready to head back?" Mark asked while nodding toward the stage with his hands shoved into the pockets of his puffer vest.

The high you were on was gradually fading out, and you had to clear your throat. "Can I meet you guys back there? I think I'm gonna take a quick breather and then just go in through the backdoor."

They were more than okay with accommodating you, encouraging you to take as long as you needed. Mark and Yeri both took the remaining two bouquets from your arms as Seungkwan ushered you out the door to take that breather.

As you hit the cool, early-March air, you wrapped your coat tighter around yourself and inhaled deeply. All around you, people lingered and chatted with each other, gushing about their favorite performances and reenacting the most memorable parts. You smiled to yourself when you overheard a group of boys near you talking about Changmin's tasteful choice in music, as well as the cohesion of his entire performance, ranging from not only the music choice, but down to the costuming as well. (And the choreography, of course. Everything about his performance, as emphasized, was breathtaking.)

With a sigh, you began rounding the building toward the back entrance.

Now that you had the space to deconstruct your thoughts, you realized that although you felt an indescribable amount of pride for your friends, you couldn't help the pit forming in the bottom of your stomach. In a way, you envied the performers onstage. You wished you had held on a little longer; maybe then, you could have been one of the people on stage tonight like you had wanted when you were just a teen.

When you reached the back door, you managed to gather your strength and let yourself in.

Like that day you had taken Sumin backstage, it was all hustle and bustle, but ten times that. Pandemonium erupted as performers raced past you left and right trying to find their friends, fellow performers, and even the location of their hairspray. (They should have put their name on it, you thought cheekily, but even then, it might not have worked still, you supposed.)

You kept your arms crossed over your chest as you squeezed past people toward where you were hoping to find your friends. As you walked into the dressing room corridor, you nearly collided with a silky dress shirt.

"Yn! I can't believe I found you," Ten chuckled.

You laughed, wrapping your arms around him in an affectionate embrace. "Ten! I can't believe you found me either. It's a madhouse here." You scanned the faces and bodies buzzing about for any sign of your friends. "Have Mark, Yeri, or Seungkwan found you yet? They have the flowers I was gonna give you."

Ten's lips curled up into a smile as he pressed a hand to his chest. "Gasp, you got me flowers?"

"Yes, and please never say 'gasp' aloud ever again," you winced.

That only made his smile grow. "No promises. But what'd you think of the show tonight? I'm glad you stayed the whole time."

"It was incredible! You were incredible," you amended with your eyes likely the shape of stars. "Who gave you the absolute audacity to be so talented, sir! I swear I heard some girl faint a couple rows behind me," you joked.

His eyes narrowed into sly, little crescents. "Oh? And did you faint for mine, too? Or did you save that reaction for another special someone?"

You flushed, your eyes averting to anywhere but the nosy feline before you.

Ten threw his head back in a loud guffaw. "Okay, okay. I see how it is. He's been looking for you, by the way."

Your eyes went wide. "And you wait until now to tell me?"

"I wanted my dose of Yn affection, too," he shrugged, giggling like a schoolgirl. "Plus, the look on your face was well worth it."

"Sometimes I hate you."

"Some is not all," he pointed out.

"—you said she was over here? Yn!"

Yours and Ten's heads turned and you watched as Changmin's eyes found yours in the crowded room. He began pushing his way toward you, sweat still dampening the strands of hair and falling into the collar of the dark blazer he wore for Light a Flame.

Ten snickered under his breath. "Well, I'm gonna go find Mark to get my flowers. Text me later, 'kay? Okay!"

Before you could blink, Ten had disappeared into the masses. You swore that man was so slippery sometimes.

You glanced back in the direction that you saw Changmin coming from,but when you couldn't find him, you frowned. It really was awfully hard to find people in here…

"Boo!"

You swore your soul left your body for five seconds. You whirled around, glaring daggers at the impish squirrel man who somehow ended up behind you. "You're such a menace."

Changmin grinned so wide it looked like even his dimples were strained. "Sorry," he wheezed, not sounding sorry at all. "The opportunity presented itself on a gold-plated platter."

"You should feel very lucky that I wasn't holding lemonade this time."

"Okay, but why were you drinking that without a cap on the cup? Did they not give you a plastic lid or something?"

You felt the corner of your mouth lift. How was it so easy to recall these things? "It's just the universe telling you to end your pranks."

He shrugged helplessly. "I can't help that you are so easy to sneak up on."

"You're gonna say that when I somehow heard you asking if I was in here from across the room?"

"That's because I let you hear that; there's a difference," he said, leaning against the corridor wall next to you. He looked you up and down, tongue darting out for a moment. "Thanks for coming tonight."

You leaned your shoulder against the wall next to him. "I enjoyed myself," you said in reply. "You did really well tonight though, Changmin. It was a great performance."

He grinned, and his tongue had to poke the inside of his cheek. "Just great?"

You raised your eyebrows at him and decided to bypass that question for the moment. "Did my friends give you your flowers?"

Changmin showed his empty hands and you deadpanned.

"What?" He giggled. "I'm just stating the obvious."

"You're so infuriating sometimes."

He gently bumped your shoulder with his. "Nothing new."

Nothing new, indeed. It was strange, actually, falling into this kind of easygoing, light-hearted banter. You'd seen how easy it was that night in the lab, but this was nice, you had to admit. Banter and arguing were two different things, you learned, and the latter always took such a toll on those involved.

How did the two of you stay away for so long? Maybe you were both too prideful, too afraid to break the ice.

Changmin's expression sobered a little as he observed your expression. "What're you thinking about?"

You blinked, glancing over at him. "Nothing, just…" Your voice lowered to something like a whisper, "I missed this." I missed you.

And as you met his eyes again, you knew that he had heard you. He swallowed, roughly. "Me too."

EPISODE THIRTEEN: OFF THE CUFF

THE quad was in bloom with the coming of spring and spring break. It was tradition at your university to take pictures and to take a stroll through the freshly bloomed cherry blossom trees lining the rectangular lawn. Only in spring did the trees reveal their beautiful, baby pink flowers, so it was optimal to go frolic amongst them while they were full.

Changmin had been dragged out by Chanhee. Well, he liked to say that Chanhee forced him outside, but in reality, Changmin had put just as much effort into his appearance today as Chanhee did, just not as formal. And luckily, it wasn't just the two best friends who were out with them among the crowd of people, but also the entirety of their friend group—plus the significant others, too.

"I hate this more than Valentine's Day," Sunwoo grumbled as he blew a curl out of his eyes. He was referring to the couples all around them taking pictures and holding hands and kissing.

"You're telling me," Kevin sighed as he messed with the settings on his camera for the pictures he wanted to take of the scenery. "At least on Valentine's Day, people won't photobomb you."

Sangyeon had his phone out and was already taking photos of the blooming flowers around him and in the trees. He suddenly turned his phone around, set at point five zoom. "Hey guys, look here and smile!"

Everyone in the shot (all the singles: Chanhee, Changmin, Sunwoo, Kevin, Juyeon, and Hyunjae) slapped smiles onto their faces. As soon as Sangyeon put the phone down, their smiles dropped.

"Who was that for?" Juyeon asked as he slung an arm around Sangyeon's shoulder to peer at the eldest's phone screen. He made a groaning noise before peeling away. "Ahhhh, 'The Girlfriend'. I see."

Sangyeon cocked a brow at him. "Have you finally accepted that I have a girlfriend?"

"Nope."

Sangyeon's eyes looked up and away in exasperation, before he shook his head and returned to doing whatever he was doing.

Changmin surveyed the crowded quad with disinterest. He scanned all of the faces present around him; too many to count that was for sure. Jacob and JC!Yn had separated from them almost immediately; Eric and his girlfriend were off being cute or something; Younghoon and his partner hadn't even traveled here with most of them; but at least Haknyeon and his significant other stayed with them for the first five minutes to make conversation about the dance showcase a few nights ago.

He sighed. That was how long ago it had been since he last saw you. (My god, he sounded like some kind of lovesick teenager, waiting by the landline for his lover to ring him up—)

On the other side of the quad, you and your friends had just arrived to do the same exact thing Changmin's friends were. But as soon as you saw the crowd, you were five seconds from simply giving up.

"We'd get like, one flower, and that's it," Seungkwan argued to Yeri who was trudging forward despite the load of people around.

Yeri huffed. "Not if you don't try, Boo Seungkwan."

He made a noise of disgruntlement, his head lifting up and nostrils flaring. "Oh my god—"

"Yn, my wife, defend my honor!"

You snapped up straight, tuning back into the conversation. Mark and Jungwoo trailed somewhere behind the three of you and if you weren't careful, you'd lose them, too. "Huh? Oh, well, Seungkwan…" Your voice trailed off, and your eyes wandered to a specific gathering of trees further down the lawn from where you currently were.

It was unfair how he was framed like a K-Drama shot: the slow motion pink petals drifting around him, his lithe body gracefully leaning against the dark bark of the cherry blossom tree, the green sweater vest layered over a white shirt and pants. You gulped—he looked way too pretty to just be standing there—

"—hello? Earth to Yn?" A hand was waving in front of your face and someone was poking your shoulder.

You shook away from them, eyes wide like a child with your hand caught in the cookie jar. "Huh?"

Seungkwan and Yeri sent you curious looks. "You were staring at Changmin," said Yeri, arms crossing over her chest.

Seungkwan let out a dramatically wistful, little sigh as he scratched the side of his head. "You're so lucky that Ten's not here; we are so very merciful compared to him."

You rolled your eyes, even though they were right. "I wasn't staring! I just—I couldn't tell if it was really him or not."

"Because I'm just so breathtakingly beautiful?"

"Definitely n—what the fuck," you yelped, nearly leaping out of your skin again at the right of Changmin's dimpled smile as he seemingly appeared out of thin air right next to you.

Changmin erupted into howling laughter, folding over onto his knees as he slapped his leg once, twice—

"You're not even that funny," you grumbled, side-eyeing both him and your friends. (Guess you really did lose Mark and Jungwoo…)

Seungkwan and Yeri did not hide their own laughs very well, but they definitely weren't knee-slapping themselves.

"How'd you even cover so much ground that fast?" You queried, whirling back on Changmin.

He lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug, his hands resting in the pockets of pants as he stood in a relaxed posture. His skin was unfairly pretty in this lighting, like his smile. "I harnessed my inner squirrel."

"You mean your inner furry?"

Seungkwan and Yeri chose this moment to slip away, calling out something like "we're just gonna go walk a tree" before bowing out. Changmin feigned an expression of offense, pressing a hand to his chest. "Rude! It's called athleticism."

You wrinkled your nose. "Like you know what athleticism is."

"I'll race you to the stairs over there right now—HEY, CHEATER! I DIDN'T SAY GO—" Despite his indignant squawk, Changmin's cheeks hurt from how hard he grinned as he raced after you toward the stairs at the other end of the lawn.

— ✶

"So… no Ten today?"

After a daring race, you and Changmin settled on top of the stairs overlooking the entire lawn. The sun hung at golden hour position and painted the landscape and people below in beautiful, buttery gold wash. You even swore you saw Chanhee chasing after Sunwoo with a handful of loose cherry blossom petals, no doubt to dump into the latter's hair.

You looked over to where Changmin was leaning back onto his palms next to you. "This again?"

He pursed his lips. "Well, I mean," he drawled, "you guys are pretty close. I just figured you'd do this kind of thing together."

"That's fair," you conceded. "Uh, he's actually on a trip with a couple of his frat brothers this week. Something like backpacking in Switzerland."

Changmin gave an indulgent nod of his head. "Wow. Switzerland."

"I know, right?"

He peered out into the distance, eyes squinting against the strength of the sun, but he looked like an art piece nonetheless. “You and Ten aren’t, like, together? Are you?”

You tilted your head to the side. Interesting question. “No, we’re friends. I think in the beginning it might have felt like something on that level, but we’ve both—I think we’re both on the same page where we stand with each other.” You didn’t know why you were telling him so much; he’d only asked you a question. But speaking of being together with someone… You coughed, “Sumin told me what happened during the interview a couple weeks ago.”

Changmin smiled sheepishly, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. “Oh, ha, she did? I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.”

“You really didn’t know?”

“That she liked me? No,” he laughed with a shake of his head. He leaned forward onto his knees then, turning his head to the side to look at you with his fingers laced over his knees. “Who do you take me for, hm? I couldn’t just assume she had a crush on me.”

You feigned a look of disagreement, and he gasped, shoving your upper arm playfully. “I’m not that bad!” He exclaimed.

“You could be that bad,” you teased.

You watched as his expression cooled and the air around the two of you shifted. There was an earnestness in his eyes now, emphasized by the brilliance of the setting sun reflecting across his smooth lines of his face. “Have you ever thought about, you know, like trying to dance again?”

You weren’t sure what prompted this change in subject, but you gave it a thought. “I definitely have,” you said honestly, “I just can’t really step into a practice room without getting nervous.” You picked at a stray thread on your pants as you spoke and felt his gaze on you. “That night—the one when you saw me in front of the performing arts hall really late at night—I was trying to get myself to go in. To at least… try, y’know. Maybe prove to myself that I could work up the courage to go in, but I couldn’t.”

Changmin was quiet for a moment. His knees angled themselves toward you, and he leaned forward so his chest practically laid over his legs. “I said a lot of bad things to you in senior year,” he said lowly. “They were stupid—I was stupid. And—and if your anxiety with practice rooms comes from me, then—”

“Changmin,” you interrupted and captured his attention. You shifted to mimic his body positioning, so your eyes were level and you were both just as small as the other. “I said really shitty things to you, too.”

“I told you that you should quit,” he rasped. He had to turn his head so you wouldn’t see the silver pooling in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Yn; I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it.”

You heard his sniffle over all of the chatter from the lawn below and you moved closer to him until your legs and arms were pressed together. You wrapped an arm around him, only for him to raise himself up and practically drape himself over you, his arms looped around your upper body and his face tucked into the side of your neck. Your heart tripped over itself in surprise, but you let yourself lean into his body heat.

“I’m sorry, too. I know you didn’t mean any of it. I didn’t mean any of what I said either.” You breathed for a moment and sighed, simply allowing him to stay in your arms for however long he needed. “I think,” you started, “even after three years, I still blame myself for letting all of that get to me. Sometimes, I want to go back in time and slap some sense into myself; maybe tell myself that I shouldn’t have let what my mom said bury itself so deep inside me. I mean… where would I be now had I not listened to her?”

Changmin pulled away then, resting his forearms on his legs again, but he didn’t back away from you. “You were just a kid, Yn. You can’t blame yourself.”

You rested your cheek against your fist. “I know. It’s hard not to, though.”

“I know.” He took another look at you, and you felt his eyes really take you in for a moment. The corner of his lips lifted. “Are you happy?”

“With?”

“With how you turned out? Where you ended up?”

You held your breath. It was a good question, and as you turned to search yourself inwardly, you came to a couple of conclusions. “In a way, I am. It’s probably just bitterness and regret I feel when I wonder what could have been, but maybe things happen for a reason.”

He nodded, his hand reaching up to pick out a stray leaf that had fallen into your hair. “We can always make up for lost time now,” he said. “We never did get to finish that duet.”

EPISODE FOURTEEN: [GET] OFF THE GROUND

THE next day, you found yourself standing outside the back door to the performing arts building. Because it was spring break, a large helping of the student population had abandoned campus as soon as their finals were over, leaving the place barren except for the area with the cherry blossoms. You stood next to Changmin, the latter holding his bag by the strap over his shoulder. You had been staring at the door for more than a minute now, trying to slow the palpitations of your heart.

“We can leave whenever you want to,” he murmured to you, the back of his hand nudging yours. “Let’s just try.”

You got yourself to nod.

The hallways were uncharacteristically quiet compared to the previous couple of times you had been back here. Since there was no one else here, you and Changmin got to pick whichever practice room you wanted. The largest one was the winner, and the lights flickered on to wash the shadows away. You immediately moved to one side of the room to set your things down, and Changmin went to his corner by the speaker. He was already hooking up his phone to the aux cord, but kept one eagle-eye on you as you inhaled the sight of the empty room around you.

As usual, your throat began closing in on itself, and you coaxed yourself into taking deep breaths.

You started out on the floor in front of the mirror, your legs crossed over each other and Changmin’s phone in your hands. Changmin had shouldered off his white athletic jacket, and began stretching as you swiped through the selection of music on his phone. The two of you collectively agreed for you to start off just watching. Once you were comfortable in the practice room environment, and if you wanted to dance, you would join him whenever you were ready. If you were never ready, then you could continue to just watch him and cheer him on during the practice.

You watched him card a hand through his hair as he peered at himself in the mirror behind you. “I always thought this mirror made you vain,” you chuckled, your hand having settled into your lap instead of at the base of your throat.

He furrowed his brows at you. His hands rested on his hips, the muscle in his forearms emboldening from the action. “Rude. I think you were the one who made me vain.”

“The fuck? How so?” You challenged.

“You always said you admired my facial expressions and my pretty smile,” he grinned at your reaction, snickering to himself. “Did you pick a song yet?”

You watched him dance. For the first few songs that played on shuffle, he was simply warming up his body and freestyling to whatever he heard. You knew Changmin was no stranger to people watching him dance, but there was something still so intimate about watching him in this space. You could watch him create things like magic, as well as watch him fumble and laugh at his own misgivings. Except, instead of doing it all by himself, his eyes would find yours and smile.

Next quarter, Changmin was supposedly signed on to be a TA for one of the dance courses, so he asked for your opinion on a few of his ideas for choreographies he could teach.

After showing you his second idea, he gestured to you then looked back at himself in the mirror. “What do you think? I’m not sure if writing something for each nuance in the beat would be a bit too much or if it’s something that should be used as a challenge routine.”

You hummed in understanding. “Well, if it’s an intermediate dance course, then I think it could be worked up to. Are these people dance majors or… maybe minoring in dance?”

He nodded when you said the latter. “Supposedly, they aren’t necessarily dance majors. But yeah, I agree—it could probably be brought out later in the quarter instead.” He made a motion with his hand as he backpedaled a couple steps to give himself more room between you and him. “Could you rewind to the first verse again? I wanna see something.”

You obliged him and rewinded the song to his desired timestamp. He tried out another possible set of choreo, but ended up stopping halfway through the chorus.

Again and again, you rewinded the song for him to try something new, but each time, he was met with his own dissatisfaction.

You suddenly stood, setting his phone on the ground with the song having been rewinded just slightly before the intended timestamp. Your hands were shaky and your heart was probably beating at an unhealthy speed, but you needed to try out something.

Changmin’s eyes opened wide as you came to stand next to him, but he said nothing. Instead, he let you loosely show him what you had concocted in your head while watching him go through trial after trial.

Before you knew what was happening, the two of you were weaving your ideas together, taking pieces of his original choreography and amending it with yours. You had watched him from the beginning so many times that you didn’t need long to pick up on the rest. By the end, the two of you had danced the entirety of the song together, your chest rising and falling fast with the speed of your breath.

Changmin released an exclamatory yell, thrusting his fist to the ceiling, then clasping your hand with his. “Let’s go! I really like that, Yn,” he said with his face split by a shit-eating grin.

Your heart was bursting again, not with nerves, but something you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. You brushed the hair from your eyes, a satisfied beam set on your face. “I like it, too.”

There was a sheen akin to pride in his eyes. “I wanna show you something,” he said, walking over to his phone with a skip in his step. “Stay there! I wanna teach you this bit of choreo that’s been living in my head for a while now.”

And so, you followed Changmin’s instructions as he put on a groovy-type beat. The routine was simple enough—looks-wise. But if you knew anything about the things Changmin choreographed, the difficulty was all in the subtlety and technique. When you were younger, the appeal between you and Changmin as partners were that you were practically foils for each other. While Changmin ruled the arena of sharp, focused isolations and movements, your area of expertise laid in bigger, fuller movements like that of a brushstroke. When you had watched Juyeon and Changmin’s performance during the winter showcase, you supposed that was why they were able to complement each other well. It was essentially what you and Changmin were, in combination.

The longer you and Changmin danced, the more your chest filled with air and warmth and love and happiness. The guilt and fear from before had melted away to reveal this suppressed portion of you that had been hidden for a long time.

At some point, the two of you were just messing around, and ended up sprawled on the polished wood floor of the practice room clutching your stomachs while choking on laughter.

Changmin rolled onto his side, eyes still squinted in delight as he tried to get a grip of his breathing. “Is your back okay?” He managed to wheeze between gasps and howls.

You wiped a tear that crept out from your eye. “No! I just tried carrying a fifty-something-kg man on my back. Do you think I’m okay?”

“In my defense,” he said, peering down at you as he rose into a sitting position and leaned back onto his palms, “you claimed you were stronger than me and could be the base.”

“A warning would have been nice!” You exclaimed. You rolled onto your stomach, laying your chin over your arms. “No one in their right mind just jumpscares people like that.”

“Have you met me?”

“Fair enough.”

A remnant of that merriment remained on his lips as he felt around the floor around him for where his phone had fallen out of his pants pocket. He caught a glimpse of the time, sighing, then raking a hand through his hair. “It’s already one o’clock. Are you hungry? Wanna get lunch or something?”

“Sure, what do you feel like?” You asked, eyes following his movements as he clambered up to his feet and tucked his phone back into his pocket.

He pressed his lips together in thought, humming, “Dunno. Fast food maybe?”

You rolled into a sitting position, similar to the one he had been in just moments before. “Okay.”

“Come on; let’s get up then.” He offered a hand out to you, and you clasped his forearm tightly.

In one fell motion, Changmin swept you upright and to your feet—but he used a little too much pulling force, and you were stumbling into him, palms pressed flat against his chest, and his arms coming around your waist. You held your breath as the two of you fought to stabilize the other.

“Shit, sorry about that,” he muttered from above you with a low chuckle.

You opened your mouth to reply, but as you raised your head to meet his eyes and not just his Adam’s apple, you lost all your breath. There was barely a hairsbreadth distance between your face and his. Changmin came to the same determination as you had and his eyes went wide.

A curious thing happened. His pupils dilated, and his eyes darted down to your mouth and his tongue swiped over his own to dampen them.

Your breath as you exhaled was as unsteady as your heart rate.

You felt his hold on your tighten slightly; his Adam’s apple bobbed. And then he was leaning forward, his eyes fluttering closed—

He kissed you then.

His lips were soft over your own with the slightest bit of pressure, nose nudging the side of your cheek.

Your hands moved up the plane of his chest to grasp his toned shoulders; he shifted his left hand to cradle the back of your head.

Wait, what is happening—

You both pulled away, as if the same thought had echoed through both of your heads at the same time.

Panic leapt into the two of you and you jolted away when the distinct sound of Boss by some group called Neo Culture Technology blasted throughout the quiet practice room.

"Fuck," you swore. You glanced back at Changmin and saw the question, the uncertainty, the—you couldn't even tell. Your mind was everywhere and nowhere at once. You could still feel his mouth on yours. "That—that's Doyoung's ringtone. I have to take this."

"Okay," he whispered inaudibly, and you slipped out from his hold.

With your back to him, he rubbed his hands down his face and an indescribable emotion seized his chest. He rubbed a thumb over his lips…

"Doyoung, you need to calm down," you said as Doyoung's voice quite literally rambled at lightspeed into your ear.

You heard your friend take one deep breath, then repeat, "I think one of these final draft files are corrupted. I'm freaking the fuck out right now, and I know you're not out of town, so if you could please—for the sake of my sanity—come to the office and help me!" He was pleading, begging, and Kim Doyoung did not beg. He sounded like one hair-pull from dropping down to his knees.

In any other context, you would have wanted to record this for the history books. Any other context.

Your eyes darted over to Changmin who was still standing in the middle of the room, hands tucked into his pockets, and gaze pinned to you.

You couldn't just—leave? Could you? Not after that—

Then you caught Changmin nodding his head in the direction of the door, his head cocking to the side in silent question. Do you need to go? He mouthed.

You pursed your lips with a reluctant nod. Something's wrong with the paper.

Then go. We'll talk after.

Talk. Yup. You started grabbing your things and you squeezed your phone between your ear and shoulder. "—okay okay, Doyoung. Can you stop wasting your energy for me, and tell me exactly what the screen is telling you?"

You began making your way to the door, but halted in the doorway. You hesitated, turning back to look at Changmin. You really shouldn't leave—but you had to.

"Yn."

You grabbed your phone and pressed the speaker into your shoulder. "Yes?" It sounded breathless.

Desperation gleamed like silver in his eyes. One did not often see that emotion from Ji Changmin. "Don't shut me out."

EPISODE FIFTEEN: OFF THE BOOKS

THE first person that came to mind was Choi Chanhee. "What—"

"I kissed her!" Changmin blurted, hand slapping over his mouth.

"You what?!"

— ✶

You were breathless, brain muddled, a hot mess of a shitshow, when you got to the Daily. The rest of the Board members were on break, including your resident tech expert, so you had assured Doyoung that you were free if he needed anything. (If you weren't deeply regretting that now though.)

You had fast walked all the way from the performing arts center to the Daily's newsroom, effectively cutting travel time down from ten minutes to seven, even with your bag of items. Though, it definitely didn't help your headspace. You could hardly think about Changmin, the kiss, and a corrupted file all at the same time. Not to mention, you finally managed to wrangle Doyoung off the phone with you so he could go splash water on his face to calm the fuck down.

The newsroom was dark when you got there, but you saw the light from Doyoung's office shining down the corridor. He was seated behind his desk, his expression a lot more calm than he sounded from the phone, but his face and bangs were a bit damp, meaning he had actually gone to wash his face. Good.

He saw you trudging down the hall, your baby hairs flying everywhere, and your breath coming out in pants. He noticed the bag slung over your shoulder and had the nerve to ask, "Oh, were you on the way somewhere?"

You sent him a pained stare and collapsed into the chair on the opposite side of his desk.

"You look stressed."

"Changmin and I kissed."

Doyoung's eyes nearly fell out of his head and his body was half an inch from falling out of his chair. "HUH?"

Your head craned back against the back of the chair. "I know."

"Girl, why are you here then?"

"You said it was an emergency!" You cried, straightening. You didn't even acknowledge the fact that Doyoung had just called you "girl". "Now, let's work this file situation out."

Doyoung moved his laptop further away from you. "Oh, nuh-uh, Missy. You're gonna just send me your copy, and then you're gonna go on your merry way back to Mr. Dancer Man and kiss him again."

Your face scrunched up. "Hello?" What was in the sink water in this building…

"Did you talk about it? Are you two dating now?"

"Doyoung," you whined, scrubbing a hand over your face, "you literally called right after we kissed."

Doyoung made a noise of disappointment. "Damn, I'm never gonna live this down."

"Seungkwan's gonna call you a cockblocker for the rest of your life," you muttered in agreement.

He snorted. "You said it, not me." He sobered then, closing the lid of his laptop so he could lace his fingers over it and fix you with a serious expression. "So how do you feel? Tell me what happened."

You twisted and dropped your bag to the ground by your feet, moving your chair closer to the desk so you could drape your upper half on top of the cool surface. "We were dancing—"

"Really?"

"Mhm," you hummed against the table. "It was… it was really nice, Doie. I actually had fun. And then we just—I don't even know—we played around a little and he was helping me up off the ground, and suddenly we were kissing."

Doyoung's brows furrowed together. "Ah, I see. Did he kiss you or did you kiss him?"

"He kissed me, but I didn't stop him." You could recall the look in his eyes with a striking amount of clarity. "I… I don't really know what it all means, or what it means to me. I'm a little confused, if I'm honest."

He sighed. "And that's okay. I think this is something you definitely need to go back and talk to him about though, hm?"

"Yeah."

"But Yn," he continued, reaching over to rub the top of your head and get you to look up, "did you ever have feelings for the guy?"

You slowly raised yourself up from the table with a frown on your face. "When I was a kid, I didn't really see anyone else but him," you confessed, almost unconsciously. You hadn't known what the feeling you harbored for him was back then, but maybe you could seek to understand it now.

Doyoung made a vague gesture with his hand as he sat back in his chair. "Well, that's a start for sure. But you and he have been on rocky terrain for years now. You're not kids anymore and a lot of things have changed." He was right, in some sense. You and Changmin had spent three years convincing yourselves you didn't need each other. Perhaps it had been the opposite the entire time, but what did it all mean?

"I'm glad to have him in my life again," you said quietly. "I think I've always felt… different about Changmin than any other friend I've had before, y'know? It was just unconscious in a way."

"Would you want to act on that then? See where it goes?"

You let his questions resonate around your head for a minute. But the more you thought about it, the more certain you became of your answer.

— ✶

The back corridors of the performing arts hall were just as dark as it was when you had left. For a moment, you were afraid that Changmin had left. But as you neared the practice room from earlier, you could make out the sounds of voices drifting from the cracked open door of the room.

You strained your ears—who was that with Changmin?

You reached the door, quietly pressing yourself against the wall to peer in through the cracked doorway. There, sitting opposite Changmin on the practice room floor, was Chanhee.

"—think about it, Changmin," said Chanhee as he dropped his friend by the shoulders to keep him from sulking. "She kissed you back. Don't you think that means something?"

"She could've just been caught up in the moment," Changmin countered. "She could've—" He made a frustrated noise and threw his hands out in front of him, "Maybe I just don't want to be disappointed."

Chanhee frowned. "Disappointed… that she doesn't return your feelings? Changmin, can you be honest with me for a second?"

He gave a solemn nod.

"Those feelings you had for her when you were a kid—have they ever gone away?"

You had to back away from the door and press your palm against your mouth. But because of that, you weren't able to catch Changmin's answer. Your heart slammed against your ribcage, your hands shaking as your thoughts raced in your head. You had to open the door now. You'd already intruded when you eavesdropped on their conversation.

Sucking in a breath, you pushed the door open wider. No going back now.

Changmin and Chanhee were both frozen in place when you poked your head into the room. The former paled in the warm-toned practice room lights, and you saw him gulp.

"Yn!" Chanhee laughed nervously as he and his friend both scrambled to their feet. His car keys jangled noisily from where they hung on a clip from his belt loop. "Uhm, I think I should leave," he said, clearing his throat and brushing past you.

You grabbed your arm as you shuffled into the room and gently kicked the door closed behind you.

Changmin cupped the back of his neck. "How much did you hear?" He asked, not even bothering to hide the open glisten in his eyes, the pure vulnerability lying stark on his face. It felt like you were seventeen again, standing alone together in the practice room, not really sure what the other person would say or do or feel.

"What did Chanhee mean by you having feelings for me when we were kids?" You asked.

The silence was palpable. "You really didn't know?"

No, you shook your head, definitely not. "I—I mean, no. Not really. I guess I always thought… I don't know what I thought."

He braced both hands behind his head now, his eyes tilted back toward the ceiling. "Yn," he said before looking you in the eyes again, "every time I saw you, I saw someone who put the fucking stars in the sky. If you watch any of our videos from back then—" He pushed out a haggard breath from his mouth. "I could never not care for you, could never stop caring for you. It hurt a lot when we stopped being us because I thought I…"

His hands fell to his sides, helpless. "I thought I lost you. And then it felt like you hated me, so I tried to hate you, too. And then we worked shit out. And then…" Changmin brushed his bangs back and was unable to look you in the eyes for longer than a second with each glance. "I'm sorry I kissed you. I don't want to lose you again, Yn."

Your heart thundered in your ears so loud that you almost thought he could hear it, even from so far away. You got yourself to take a step forward, and then another.

Changmin waited as you walked closer to him, his lips pressed together.

You inhaled. "Changmin, I can't say for sure what I felt for you back then, and I definitely can't articulate my feelings for you as well as you just did—" His eyes clashed with yours, that energy colliding, "—but I'm not sorry you kissed me, or that I kissed you."

You thought you heard his breath hitch for a moment.

"I don't want to lose you again, either," you said and tentatively reached for his hands. Never in your years of knowing him had you known a moment where his fingers trembled like they did now. "And I—I really want to see where this goes. Would you want to see where this goes with me?"

His fingers curled around yours as he nodded. "Yes."

EPISODE SIXTEEN: OFF [MY] FACE

"WHAT about that one?"

"Don't touch that one."

"Will it burn my skin off?" Changmin asked in a sleepy daze as one hand rubbed his eye and the other reached for the gallon of liquid that sat behind a locked cabinet with a clearly marked DO NOT TOUCH. DANGER. plastered on the side.

"Yes," you said without looking up from your organic chemistry textbook.

Changmin's hand dropped immediately and he turned to send a look your way. "Well, that's not very safe."

His hoodie-covered head began bumbling back over to you through the maze of workbenches. It was the first week back to school from spring break, thus, the very first week of the spring quarter. You and Changmin were currently in your regular lab space that you unofficially dubbed your study area. Kun was in the break room probably half asleep over a bag of shrimp chips, and Ten… Ten was somewhere around here. Maybe he got lost down the hallway looking for the bathroom or something.

Changmin had come to hang out with you though, even though he was practically a walking baby giraffe as drowsiness possessed his whole being. But he insisted on staying until you went home.

"It's actually just distilled water," you said with a chuckle. "The lab professors just don't want people using it because for some reason, the convenience stores around here are always out, and they don't want to go hunting for more."

You felt him drape over your back with a fwump. "I love when you talk dirty to me," he said through a rather large yawn.

You grinned to yourself, shaking your head. "Okay, I think we need to get you home."

"Not before you take me to dinner first."

"Are you sure you're not drunk?"

You packed your things up quickly, especially when you saw Changmin nodding off while standing upright. It was already around nine o'clock by the time you said good night to Kun and located Ten (yeah, he'd gone looking for the bathroom and almost gotten locked in a supply closet instead).

Changmin tried to convince you he was okay to drive, but by the way he couldn't even figure out that his keys were hanging on his belt loop, it was safe to say that you were driving tonight. The drive over to Changmin and Chanhee's apartment was an easy one since they lived in the university district and the streets were quite barren at this point. You helped him up to the apartment, greeting Chanhee who was in a fluffy pink robe and matching headband.

"Hi Chanhee," you sighed as you pushed Changmin into the bathroom to shower.

Chanhee looked on in ill-concealed amusement. "He'll be much better after he showers," he reassured you from his perch on the couch. You saw the page-long math problems spread out on the coffee table and held in a gag.

"Dear god, I hope so."

Chanhee directed you to where Changmin's room was and you dumped both yours and his backpacks on the floor by his desk. You actually had yet to step foot in here until now, so while Changmin was doing his thing in the bathroom, you let your eyes roam all around the room. It was relatively clean (emphasis on relatively) with walls that were minimally decorated. There was a whole separate rack of shirts and jackets left outside the small wardrobe, and you recognized a couple of them.

You leaned over his desk to see what he had posted on the wall above it. There were a couple dozen printed photographs of him and his friends, as well as an award or two that were big in name and no doubt special to him. You felt yourself smile; you didn't have to be up here, but you liked seeing his smile in all of these pictures.

And then you saw it.

There was a printed copy of a review pinned amongst the pandemonium of memorabilia. The layout of the page was incredibly familiar, and with widened eyes, you realized that it was a review from the Daily's Opera Glasses.

In fact, as you squinted and skimmed, it was your review from freshman year. It was your (anonymous) review about his debut winter showcase performance.

Wow.

You barely registered Changmin shuffling into the room in slippers and a bathrobe of his own, his dark hair still dripping with water.

He passed you a glance while heading for his wardrobe. "Hey, do you wanna stay over?"

You definitely weren't prepared for that question. "Stay over?" You parroted dumbly. "Also, you have an Opera Glasses review printed out?" Your hand gestured to the sheet of paper pinned to the wall.

Changmin's head turned and he abandoned the wardrobe to walk over to you and his desk. You pressed yourself against the wall to the side to give him space to look. "Ah," he said with a boyish grin, "that was yours, wasn't it?"

"How the hell could you tell?"

He leaned in close to you, bracing an arm above your head. The smell of his shampoo was strong and you came to the realization that he was still in a bathrobe. His tongue darted out to wet his lips. "You don't think I could tell what your writing voice sounded like?" He asked, his voice suddenly lowered.

You inched forward, a dare. "Are you gonna get dressed, Changmin?"

His smile widened. "I could," he teased.

"Hey! Can you guys close the door or keep it down? Some of us are single and have math homework!"

Both you and Changmin laughed at Chanhee's outburst even though your face was definitely heated up.

Changmin took advantage of your unassuming state and pressed his mouth to yours, tasting your laughter on his tongue until you could only taste his in return. It was a dizzying sort of kiss, his arm still above you and his other curled around your waist.

When he pulled away, he bit his lip around a smirk. "I'll get changed now."

Criminal. Absolutely criminal.

He indeed got changed. And so did you. Apparently, he was being serious about you staying the night, and soon enough, you found yourself buried beneath his covers and swept in his very clingy arms. Not that you were complaining; he smelled nice.

You and Changmin laid facing each other in the darkness of his room. Round spectacles sat awkwardly on his nose bridge since the side of his face was pressed against the pillow, but he said he wouldn't take them off until he was just about to drift off.

"Yn-ie."

"Hm?"

He giggled, turning over and reaching over the side of his bed for something. You were about to question what he was doing until he quite literally shoved his wretched Chucky doll into your face.

"What the flying fuck—" You glared at the toy and its creepy stitched face. You had been startled by it, but you had grown used to it after having to deal with his obsession with the damn thing in the last two years of high school.

Changmin hugged the abomination to his chest as he snickered loudly.

"I thought you got rid of that thing."

"You clearly don't know me well enough."

You began to sit up and make a show of throwing off the covers. "I'm leaving—"

"Wait, wait, wait!" He blubbered, grabbing your upper arm and yanking you back down onto the bed next to him.

He leaned over you, his Chucky doll still tucked in the crook of his arm, as Changmin pouted. The glasses were practically sliding off his nose and his hair was sticking up in the back. What a duality. "I don't want you to leave."

"I'm not cuddling with Chucky, Changmin."

"But—"

"I will go ask Chanhee for an extra blanket."

Changmin's pout contorted into a scowl. "I'll murder him."

You wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of this conversation. "I think you need to go to sleep."

He flopped back onto the bed next to you, reluctantly setting Chucky back down on the floor next to the bed where the wretched thing had been hiding this whole time. You suppressed a shiver.

Finally able to breathe easy, you settled back into Changmin's arms. He tucked you against his chest, his chin settled on top of your head. You felt him shift as he took his glasses off and reached behind him to set them on the nightstand.

You were just drifting off to sleep to the melody of his heart beat when: "Yn?"

"Hm?"

His lips pressed to the crown of your head. "I missed you."

You knew what he meant. You pressed a kiss to his chest and heard the shuddering breath that fell from his lips. "I missed you, too."

EPISODE SEVENTEEN (EPILOGUE): [ON OUR TERMS]

THE problem with the restaurant was that it reminded you of something like the word "home". The sign above the door was made with some common font that one could find on Microsoft Word and you were pretty sure they only took cash, too. There was a reason you had chosen this restaurant in particular, and it was because you thought that eating at a place with your comfort foods would, well, comfort you. But you had been staring at the front for a minute or two now, and you weren't sure it was working.

From beside you, you felt someone take your hand in his. "We don't have to go in," said Changmin, his expression blank and reserved as he looked at the eatery, but softened a considerable amount when he looked over at you.

Your mother was waiting for you in there, somewhere. You wanted to finally talk to her—maybe make some peace with yourself. You'd told Changmin about it, and he insisted on coming as moral support.

You squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. "I can't just not go, Changmin."

His touch was gentle as his thumb grazed over the back of your knuckles, just as gentle as his voice was, "You don't owe her anything, Yn. You deserve an apology from her and you deserve closure, but you don't owe her anything. Not after what she put you through."

You were quiet for a moment and your free hand brushed over the hollow of your throat where the tightening sensation was.

Changmin added, "I'll support whatever decision you come to."

You considered the restaurant again. It had always held a great amount of significance and comfort for you. Did you want to ruin that with a potentially sour conversation? For all you knew, this could end incredibly poorly.

But… there were some things that needed to be done.

You steeled your resolve. "Ready?"

Changmin, all dapper in his dress shirt and pants and styled hair, flashed you a dimpled smile. "Whenever you are."

a/n: wow ... anyways lol thanks for getting through that madness, and hope u enjoyed!! pls do consider reblogging, commenting, or sending an ask to my inbox teehee i would really appreciate it ! now, onto hyunjae's ! >:)

permanent taglist: @honeyhuii @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @ethereal-engene @mingiholic @ja4hyvn @vatterie @yogurteume @justalildumpling @hyunjaespresent-deobi @hongyangi @pxppxrminty @nerdypastacalzonespy @jcmdoll @kflixnet

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[seonghwanotes]

new years eve | jeong yunho

pairing: yunho x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 953

a/n: this was originally a collab but i completed the ending bc the writer i collabed with had closed her acc so yeah, this had me thinking for a lil bit. ALSO THE GIF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im getting bias wrecked big time, i cannot imagine being yunhonotes 😭 (21 Aug 2021)

a/n: as i write this, it is 28th sept 2023 😭 had this in my drafts for a while, did not proofread at all so will just post this up for now x

It was finally the most awaited week of the whole year, Christmas week. It was a family tradition for everyone to start preparing for Christmas when December came by but this year round, you were away from your family and you were spending it with Yunho and his friends. Considering that everyone was busy with their own schedules and you finally got a break till New Years, you began your preparation a little later than usual.

But as usual, Christmas went by in a blink of an eye. Right after you had taken down the Christmas tree all by yourself, you let out a loud sigh, feeling a little sad. It certainly felt a little different since it was something you’d do together with your family members but it didn’t feel as lonely since you were with your loving boyfriend.

You grabbed your phone off the couch and took a picture of the now dismantled tree, sending it to Yunho who was at practice with the boys. Not even a second passed, he had seen your message and immediately called you.

“Oh, hello?”

“Y/N, how can you take down the tree without me helping you out? It must have been hard, especially with the upper part of the tree.” He scolded you, making you chuckle.

“Yunho, it’s fine. I was gonna do it by today anyway and I was free after you left so I just got it done. You would be home later anyway. I used a chair in case you were wondering.” You replied back, earning a sigh from him. You didn’t need to be next to him to see his pout and know that he was upset for not helping you out.

You waited for a bit as you sat down, grabbing your gifts you got for Yunho along with the gift wrapper. You set your call on speaker mode and put your phone down. You could only hear some of the boys whispering to each other but it wasn’t too audible since the background music was blocking their voices out.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry I didn’t wait till you came home but tomorrow’s New Years eve! You know I don’t like keeping the tree up for longer than 3 days. Anyway, I’m going to the supermarket soon to get some stuff for our dinner tomorrow.” You told him, still not getting a response back. “Should I get champagne too?”

You and Yunho spent a homely Christmas together as everyone was with their family except for the two of you. It was not much but work has definitely made your lives much more busier, causing you two to not get presents for each other in time that you were doing it pretty late. Not that it mattered to you at this age but you felt bad for not carrying out a simple task.

You started wrapping your presents, occasionally glancing at your phone to see if he was about to end the call since he wasn’t answering you back. There was some light bickering among the boys but you couldn’t hear what they were talking about. “Jeong Yunho, If you wanted to help me out so badly, do me a favour and ask the boys what they would want for gifts or I’m wrapping vegetables for all 8 of you.”

Your threat seemed to slightly work as you heard Mingi chime at the other side of the call, “Ya, I don’t want vegetables this year. You better ask her for her size or I’m asking her myself!”

Size? Your size for what? You were about to voice out but Yunho cut you to it. “Well, that sounds fine. Go ahead, baby.”

“So you want me to get vegetables for them?” You questioned, earning a yell from Jongho.

“Y/N! Don’t listen to hyung! Get us what you feel like getting us except vegetables… what? Oh, no mint chocolate for Hongjoong hyung and Seonghwa hyung. We love you!” He yelled, making you laugh. These boys were enough to make you feel like you were at home.

“Not sure why I’m on speaker mode but okay.” You answered back, hearing someone getting a hard smack. You were about to end the call but stopped when Yunho called out. “Baby, wait! One more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Your hand is almost the same as San’s right?” The question almost came out as a whisper, Yunho knowing you would get agitated at that question since your hands were the size of a child compared to his delicate giant ones.

“You know the answer already. Why are you even asking this? Are you getting me a bracelet from Pandora or what?” You asked him, sealing the gift wrapper with a ribbon on top for Yunho’s gift, which was a Rolex watch and matching rings that you’ve been eyeing for a while now.

A silence was heard initially, then a voice followed along. “Yeah, would rose gold do?”

Your cheeks flushed, “Ah, um, yeah. See you later then. Tell the boys to be early tomorrow. Oh, I’ll get 3 bottles of champagne then, okay?”

“Okay, sure thing. Yes, 3 is fine. I love you.” Yunho replied, sending a kiss through the call.

“Love you too.” You responded and ended the call.

One gift wrapped and there was more to go. You sighed, pushing them away for awhile and opened your laptop to surf the internet, making a list on what to buy for the boys, wanting it to be meaningful as well. Even if Christmas wasn’t as joyful as you wanted it to be, New Years was going to be the most memorable holiday you had in a while and you couldn’t wait for it to arrive.

[ellies-little-thing]

"hey im lesbian, i thought you where american" (e.w.)

Part 1 Part 2

My masterlist <3

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

Warnings: Modern Ellie; swearing; fluf; smut; reader is referred as she/her; reader has a vagina; Ellie is refered to as "daddy" (as she should); Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.

Author's notes: I'm really trying to inprove my writing skills in english, and i tried very hard on this one. I had it in my drafts abd decided to finhish writing it. Ellie is called daddy by the reader, as she should allways be. Enjoy! I hope you like it! Likes, reblogs, comments and feedback are always welcome! <3 (sorry, i have vines living in my head rent free)

NSFW MINORS AND MEN DNI

w/c 9.8k

A few weeks later you and Ellie continued hanging out together since you lived in the same building. You started liking her more, the more time you spent together. You hung out almost every day unless your schedules didn’t align and you couldn’t. You were loving having someone so obsessed with you. You loved being dominated by her, letting her take control and she loved having you at her mercy. Ellie loved every moment she spent with you, every touch, every kiss, every night spent cuddling together. She was starting to fall hard for you. She took you out on dates, showered you with gifts and you've never been this happy.

This evening you were watching some stupid romance movie together just chilling on the couch of your living room, and a sex scene came on. You both looked at each other with a provocative smirk in each of your faces. As the scene continues the characters start having a certain dynamic that you recognize. The couple’s on the screen was very much like your and Ellie’s relationship. She is the dominant one and you are the submissive one. As you hear one of the characters call the other a “good girl”, you look at Ellie shyly before saying.

“I want to be your good girl…” You say, almost inaudible due to the sound of the TV.

“You want to be my good girl, do you now?” She grins as she takes her eyes from the screen and turns to your own.

“I do.” You say shyly. She smiles, and kisses you. She lowers the volume a bit and then she presses her body on yours leaning over you slightly. “mm, you really like this, don't you?” You nod a bit embarrassed. You couldn't deny that that scene was making your core heat up.

“Good, because I'm having fun too.” She grins, and bites your lip.

You kneel on the floor for her not saying one word. “Oh, someone is really eager now, aren't they?” She grins, and continues looking at you. You wait for her to act. She looks at you, before nibbling on her bottom lip in excitement as she looks at you with predatory eyes. “I'm sorry, are you waiting for something?” Her voice is full of seduction as she smiles. “For you….” You say quietly looking at the floor. You were only wearing some loungewear since it was the weekend and you and Ellie were just hanging out, so you had no pants on and your panties were visible to her.

“For me, hm?” She chuckles, as she stops nibbling on your neck. “That's very sweet of you, you know.” Her tone is very seductive.

“What do I do to be a good girl?” You ask blushing.

“Well, you can start by being a sweetheart like you already are.” She chuckles. “You can also do everything I say, you know…” She winks at you, her voice still seductive. Her piercing green eyes can't look away from you.

“Ok…” You say blushing even more. You are ashamed of how much you like this. Being treated this way.

“Oh, no darling, you dont say ‘ok’. A good girl says ‘yes ma’am’, do you understand?” She says with a more serious tone in her voice now as she looks down at you.

“Yes ma'am.” You do as she says.

“Good girl.” She smiles seductively. “You know, that was such a good girl thing you did.” She chuckles, as she bites her bottom lip again.

“Can I… call you master?… or daddy?” You ask softly, blushing as you speak. You were a bit embarrassed of how much you wanted to be dominated. She smiles, as she leans back on the couch. “I think you should pick, don't you? What one would you prefer to call me?”

“Daddy…” You say after thinking for a few seconds.

“Mmh, alright then. So, you'll call me daddy, right?” Her voice is still seductive, as she smiles. She is man spreading right now with her arms spreading along the back of the sofa looking at you very entertained.

“Yes daddy…” You said looking at your lap and not into her eyes.

“Good girl, daddy will make sure to reward you.” Her voice is full of seduction. Her eyes shine as she sees you being so easy to order around.

You wait for her command looking at the floor. “Oh, you seem to enjoy waiting a lot, don't you, love?” She giggles playfully, moving her body lower so that her face is close to yours. “I should really reward you for that too…”

You look up at her slowly. Her eyes remain sparkling, as she smiles seductively at you. “That's much better, now I can see that beautiful face of yours…” You look at her carefully, almost making puppy eyes without realizing. She pulls your face closer to hers, she’s so close you could almost kiss her.

“Can I get a kiss, daddy?” You ask her, looking into her green eyes. She chuckles softly, before leaning in and brushing her lips against yours. “You can have a kiss anytime you want darling.”

“Thank you daddy.” You smile slightly, as she calls you these sweet nicknames.

“And for being such a good girl, I guess I should give you what you want.” Her voice is still seductive, as she smiles at you. “So, why don’t you tell me what else daddy can do for you.” She holds your chin as she says this.

“I'll do anything you want.” You blurt out a bit embarrassed. You really like being treated like this. You like being taken care of.

She smiles seductively again, her tone remains the same. “Oh, is that true? Anything at all?” She leans back on the couch once again.

“Anything daddy…” You reassure her. You can now hear the moans coming from the tv as the movie continues playing.

“Oh, well aren't you the sweetest, I have so many ideas to reward you for being such a good girl…” She grins, moving slightly closer. “I think you’ll enjoy our time together, love.” You smile at her as she calls you ‘love’.

“I do wonder what we could do together though…” She chuckles softly, as her voice remains seductive. “Maybe I should show you my special reward?”

“Yes please!” Your eyes start to sparkle. Her sweet smile turns into a mischievous one. “I don't know, can I trust you to keep your word and be a good girl, even behind closed doors?” She looks at you teasingly.

“Yes daddy, you can.” You will do anything she says now, there's no going back.

“Alright then, good girl.” She smiles, looking you up and down. “ Why don't I show you my special reward then…”

“What is it?” You ask curiously with an almost childish tone in your voice.

“Well, I'd have to show you if you really want to know.” She chuckles slightly. “But, why don't you find out?”

You put your hands in a receiving position in front of your face, almost pleading. “You really do want it huh?” She grins teasingly as she moves closer to you, her hand pressing against the skin of your cheek, caressing you. “Then, do you think you’re ready?”

“I'm ready.” You answer. Her eyes sparkle as she looks at you. Ellie loves to see you so eager for her touch. “Oh I know you are… I guess I'll show you…” She sighs, smiling seductively while she stares into your eyes. “Alright, I'll be a nice daddy… But if you can't keep up your end of the deal… I'm afraid I'll have to punish you.” She says in a more serious tone and her smile fades.

“I'll be good, daddy.” Her eyes brighten as you talk. “I know you will, I'm very proud of you, baby.” She leans in and kisses you, her voice still full of seduction.

“Thank you daddy.” You say after she kisses you. She smiles, and moves closer to you yet again. “Daddy will make sure to punish you if you aren’t good.” She winks, and her voice remains teasing yet with a more serious tone, she bites your neck lightly. “But for now, you’ll remain a good girl for daddy, ok?”

“Ok daddy.” You stay put, just as she says. She grins at you, before nibbling harder on your neck. “Oh, I'm going to leave some marks, aren't i?” You hiss a bit at the pain from her teeth on your sensitive skin. She chuckles softly, before nibbling a little harder. “I'm so lucky to have such a good girl like you…”

“That hurts daddy.” You shut your eyes and scrunch your face in pain.

“Oh, does it?” She smiles seductively. “Mm, maybe i should keep going then…” She nibbles harder again, just enough for you to be in pain, but not too much.

“Ow…” You let out as you feel her teeth sink into your skin harder.

“Oh, should I stop?” She chuckles, as she moves back slightly. “Or, do you want me to keep going, dear?” She looks into your eyes as she holds your chin so you are obligated to look back at her.

“It hurts.” You say quietly, not wanting to make her mad.

“Oh, I'm starting to think that you like it.” She grins and nibbles slightly harder again.

“Ow…” She continues nibbling, her teeth pressing lightly against your skin. “mm, someones being such a good girl…”

You try to get your neck away from her since it's a bit sore now. “Why try to get away from daddy’s bites?” She grins and bites slightly harder. You hold her face to look into her eyes whilst still kneeling. Her eyes still remain sparkling, she still wears her seductive smile on those gorgeous lips of hers. “Oh, you won't get away, baby…” She grins, and bites even harder. “ow…! “ You push her away.

“Mmm, I think that's just rude. I think daddy deserves a little reward for that, don't you think?” She grins, and moves even closer to you, her teeth still pressing against your neck. Her tone is serious now, you will do as she says one way or another.

“That hurts daddy, please…” You plead as she sinks her teeth into your neck a few more times leaving some marks. Ellie likes to mark everything she owns, including you.

“Alright, I might be going a little too hard, you know baby.” She grins again, and lets go of you. “But you’ve been a good girl, so let's say i dont punish you for shoving daddy away.” She says looking at you with a serious expression.

“Yeah?” You ask hopeful that she'll stop biting you so hard.

“So, why don't you come closer to daddy?” She smiles seductively. “Don't you think daddy deserves something to reward him, baby?” You get up slowly and get on her lap. Her eyes remain shining as she smiles at you. “There we go, daddy is very proud of you.” She chuckles and cuddles you, her body pressing tightly against yours.

“Can I kiss you daddy?” You ask as you two cuddle for a bit. “Oh, why do you want to kiss daddy?” She grins seductively, as she looks at you tauntingly. “Daddy knows that you’re attracted to him…” Her voice remains teasing, and her eyes shine slightly more. “Well, daddy will allow you to kiss him then..” She smiles as she takes a quick glance at your lips. “And the only thing I ask from you in return is that you’ll be a good girl.” Her voice remains teasing, as she waits for you to kiss her. “Yes daddy.” You reply, complying to her words.

“Alright then, if you really are a good girl you’ll be able to do this…” She smiles provocatively. “Now, why don't you kiss daddy?” You kiss her lovingly. Her eyes brighten, as she puts her hands around your waist. “That's my good girl…” Her lips touch yours, her body still pressed against your own. You bite her lip softly during the kiss. She smirks, as she pulls you harder against her. “mm, i'm starting to think that you might be liking this alot more than you tell daddy…” She pauses, before nibbling harder on your lower lip than you did to hers. You moan a little and she smiles at you, happy with herself. “Oh, baby…” She continues nibbling and kissing you aggressively. “Now, tell daddy what you are feeling right now.”

“It feels good.” You say in between kisses, getting a bit out of breath. “Oh, that's good then…” She continues nibbling on your lower lip, her teeth pressing even harder. She smiles seductively, her eyes remain shining bright, as she pulls you in closer. You wrap your arms around her. She glances at your arms that you just wrapped around her, as she bites harder on your lower lip. “mm, daddy likes this.” She grins seductively.

You kiss her so she lets your lip go and you bite her neck slowly as you hold her. “Oh, so you want to do the same to daddy?…” Her voice remains teasing. “I'm sure daddy wouldn't mind, but don't think you can bite harder than him, you know?” She’s starting to nibble your own neck again. You bite her skin harder. “mm, good girl, daddy likes it…” Her voice is still teasing, as she pulls you against her. She continues to nibble and bite you.

You bite really hard this time trying to hurt her. “mm, i think you’re trying to test me…” Her voice remains teasing, and her eyes remain sparkling. She bites and nibbles your neck more aggressively now. You then kiss her hard and with desire. “mm, you seem thirsty,…” She bites your lower lip even harder, as her body presses against yours. You look at her with pleading eyes.

“Oh wow, I wasn't expecting this much from you…” She grins seductively, as she looks into your eyes. She's loving how far you are going for her until now. “I think daddy owes you a reward.” Your eyes sparkle as you hear her words. “Well, maybe I will give you one…” She grins, as she pulls you against herself. “I'm going to pin you down baby, just so I can take care of this lil thing you got, ok?” She picks you up and lays you on the bed gently as she looks into your eyes.

“Ok daddy.” You answer while you are still looking her in the eyes. “Alright then, baby.” She grins teasingly, before rolling on top of you. She pushes you down, as her body still presses against yours between your open legs. “There we go, now you can't run away from daddy…”

“I don't want to run away.” You respond softly and honestly. You never want her to stop treating you this way. “Mmm, that's good, because daddy doesn't want you to run either.” She nibbles your neck slightly harder again. “Now, since you’re a good girl for daddy, is it alright if daddy rewards you, baby?” She grins seductively as you nod eagerly. “Good, now, I should start to reward you.” She bites harder, not letting go of your poor, sensitive and sore neck.

“Yes please…” She bites as hard as she can, before letting go. “Oh, that was fun…” She nibbles slightly again, as her eyes remain sparkling. You kiss her hard and filled with lust, you are feeling so incredibly turned on by this. Your heart is starting to beat harder. She smirks and bites slightly again. “Is my little baby still thirsty?” Her voice remains teasing, as she looks at you seductively. You nod frantically, biting your bottom lip. “Good, daddy will take care of that, just wait.” She chuckles softly, as she presses her body against yours, rubbing herself on you and your crotch only protected by your underwear.

“You just have to be a good girl for daddy, you can do that, right, baby?” You nod again. She grins happy. “Alright then, be daddy’s good girl and I'll take care of all that thirstiness.” She bites even harder, not letting go of your skin.

“Ow…” You wince a bit in pain. She notices your reaction to her bite. “Oops, did I bite too hard?” She stares into your eyes, speaking in a sarcastically teasing tone. “Maybe I'll just bite you more.” She says with a serious face looking you dead in the eyes.

“No more please…” Your eyes were tearing up from the last bite. “Are you sure? baby… I know you want me. I can tell from your reactions, now, be a good girl and let daddy bite you more.” You look at her with puppy eyes. Her eyes sparkle as she sees your adorable expression. She smiles seductively. “aww, you must really want it, right?” She bites your lip again. “Tell me, baby, what do you want?”

“i….” You hesitate a bit at first. “Oh, is daddy’s little girl too flustered to say what she wants?” She chuckles, before nibbling your lower lip even harder. You muster the courage to speak up. “I…. I want you to hurt me…” You say blushing and embarrassed that you like the sensation of being hurt. “awww, so my little baby does want to be punished…” She grins seductively, before nibbling your lip even harder, she just can't help herself. “Now, I shall do as you wish…”

“Thank you daddy.” You look up at her. “Thank you, baby… for letting daddy punish you” She grins seductively, as she moves even closer to your face. “Oh, daddy likes this alot… you want me to punish you harder?”

“You can spank me…” Your face is bright red at this point. “Ohh, is that so baby?” Her eyes remain sparkling, as she bites her lower lip in excitement, yet again looking at your adorable face. “mm, but i don't want to hurt you that much, you know? Daddy still needs you to be a good girl after all…”

“I like the pain….” You finally admit to her, speaking quietly. “Oh? if that's what my little baby wants.” She smirks seductively. “Baby, maybe I should go harder then.” She suddenly put her hand around your neck. She squeezes it gently. “There we go…Are you enjoying this, baby?”

“Very much daddy.” You say as she continues, not letting go. “Oh, I'm so glad that you’re enjoying this, baby…” Her grip on your neck tightens. “I love when you choke me.” You say looking into her eyes. Her own eyes sparkle, as a dark grin appears on her face. “mm, does my little baby want daddy to choke her?” Her grip tightens harder still, as she bites your lip again. You nod looking at her still, not being able to move. “Alright then.” She grins seductively, as she squeezes your soft skin harder. She lets go of your lips so you can speak. “ What was that, baby?”

You gasp for air as she chokes you. “Did I make my little baby run out of air?” She smiles as she tightens her grip more, and leans in again. “Would you like me to keep choking you?”

“Yes daddy…” You managed to whisper with difficulty. “Awww, that's good baby, daddy will keep choking you then.” Her eyes sparkle, while she holds you tightly. She grins, as she chokes you harder. “Does daddy’s little baby enjoy being choked…?” You can only nod and so you do, looking her in the eyes, with those intoxicating green eyes of hers gazing right back. “mmm.. maybe i should keep choking you harder then…” Her grip tightens even more, making it hard for you to breathe now. She smiled mischievously. “Oh, you really do enjoy this, don't you baby…?” Your mind is starting to go blank as she keeps going.

“Ah, ah, baby, can you still breathe?” She tightens her grip on your neck even more, her face still full of seductiveness and playfulness. Her grip remains on your neck, her eyes get darker as she looks down at you. “Oh, I'm sure I could choke you harder, but are you really ready for that, baby?” Her voice still sounds teasing, as her mouth forms a slight grin, and her grip tightens yet again.

“I'm ready…” You say with a lot of difficulty. "Oh, you want more? Alright baby…" Her grip is now very tight, you're about to lose consciousness. Her eyes shine as a certain darkness starts to take over them, and her voice is more dominant now. “Daddy is going to keep choking you, until you beg me to stop…”

“It's too much daddy…” You whisper as you put your hands on hers trying to take them off your neck. “Oh, trying to make it stop, baby?” Her grip remains tight, as she holds you in place. Ellie is straddling you now with her right hand still on your neck.

“Well, daddy isn't going to let you stop this, he's enjoying it too much to stop…” She smirks, while holding both her hands to your neck now, not letting you go. “Please…” You say just mouthing the words at this point. "Asking daddy to stop? I think that's cute, baby." She tightens her grip more, and leans closer to your red face. "Well, I don't think I'll stop just yet…" Her grip is very tight now, as she stares at you, with that darkness still in her eyes. Your body starts to go limp. She looks surprised, but quickly starts to grin. “Hmm, looks like baby is having some trouble now…” Her grip on your neck remains tight, but she doesn't seem to worry much. “Maybe this baby needs a bit of a wake up kiss?”

“Please…” You say with your last breath. “Oh, I guess baby is going to pass out now… daddy’s gonna have to wake you up then…” She leans down, before kissing you deeply on the lips. She still remains holding you on your neck, her grip still tight as can be. You can't breathe right now and her eyes go even darker. “Oh, baby really can't breathe right now..” She tightens her grip on your neck even more, not caring much if you're choking or not. Her voice remains teasing, she grins and kisses you again.

You start to lose consciousness. She chuckles, as her grip remains tight. It's too good for her to stop, she loves being in control of you. “Ah, baby is passing out now…” She continues to kiss you deeply, not letting go of your neck, and her teeth sink into your lower lip, as she pulls you closer. You are almost passed out. She looks at you with evil in her eyes, as the grip on your neck remains tight. “Oh, baby passed out, she must really like this if she's losing consciousness…” Her eyes sparkle, as she glances you up and down.

“hmmmm… Daddy might have to do something to wake her up…” She loosens her grip only a little bit. She holds you still, as her eyes show that darkness inside her. “Daddy likes this, baby… so he won't be letting you wake up yet.” She looks at you seductively, her teeth sinking into your lower lip again. “Oh, baby is so cute when she's passed out…” You start breathing very shallowly as she's starting to loosen the pressure on your precious neck up a bit. “Ah, baby’s breath is coming back now…” She loosens her grip slightly more. “But daddy can't let you wake up just yet, baby has been a bad girl after all…” She smirks, as her eyes remain dark.

“Maybe daddy should keep punishing you a little longer, baby?” She asks, looking at you expecting a response from you.

“Please stop daddy…” You say, you were trying really hard to breathe.

“Oh, I guess baby wants this to stop…?” She loosens her grip a bit more, but doesnt seem ready to let you go. “I think the punishment can stop now, daddy had fun playing with his toy…” Her voice remains teasing, as she continues to hold you tightly.

“Thank you daddy…” You say trying to catch your breath.

“You’re welcome, baby, you didn't need to thank me.” She smiles seductively. “Now, daddy wants to know, what should I reward you with, baby?” She asks you as the darkness disappears from her eyes and is replaced by love.

“Can I have some cuddles?” You ask with tears in your eyes. “Oh, yes, of course, baby… Daddy is not cruel, he wouldn't just punish you without an award. You can have all the cuddles your heart desires now.” She smiles, as she lets go of you and instead lays next to you, holding you gently. “There you go, baby, daddy has given you cuddles.”

“Thank you daddy.” You say as you nuzzle into her embrace.

“Of course, baby… Daddy isn't cruel you know…” She smiles as she runs her fingers through your hair. “Now, baby should go take a rest, that punishment was pretty tiring, wasn't it?”

“It was, daddy…” You look at her with wet eyes still. “Oh, I'm sure it must have been tiring for baby… well, daddy didn't realize that, so baby has my apologies.'' She chuckles, and leans in and kisses your forehead. “I think baby really wants more cuddles…” She gives you a soft smile, as she kisses your cheek softly. You nuzzle into her chest. She pulls you closer so her lips gently rest on your ear as she whispers softly. “You can sleep, baby…” Her warm chest presses against you and you feel like you are in the safest place in the world. “Thank you….” You start to fall asleep. “Oh, baby fell asleep.” She smiles as you nuzzle her chest. “Well, daddy isn't tired, maybe baby wants to keep cuddling?” Her voice remains teasing. “Baby can keep sleeping if she wishes.” She moves her head so she can kiss your forehead and holds you as you drift off to sleep.

You wake up a few hours later, feeling much calmer and more relaxed. You find Ellie leaning on your chest now. Her lips are close to yours. “Oh, baby is awake now… well, I guess it was a bit too tiring for daddy to handle too…” She smiles seductively, as she whispers softly into your ear.

“Hi daddy.” You say smiling at her. opening your eyes a bit more.

“Hello, baby.” She smiles seductively, as she strokes your hair gently. “Did daddy’s punishment leave you tired, baby?” Her voice remains teasing.

“A bit…” You yawn as you stretch.

“Ahh, well, daddy must make it up for you somehow” She smiles, and rubs your chest softly. “Now, baby wants more of daddy’s cuddles…” She strokes her fingers slowly along your hair, while her other hand rests on your chest.

“Yes please…” You lean on Ellie. “Alright then, daddy gives you cuddles.” Her voice is still teasing and seducing. She rubs her hands gently down your hair, before placing them on your neck lightly. She smiles as she stares at you. “You can get as many cuddles as you want…” You hug her tight as she says that. “Aw, baby wants to hug daddy?” She smiles as she pulls you closer and hugs you tightly. She giggles lightly, before kissing your cheek. “Baby really needs daddy’s love now, huh?” You nod looking up at her face with an adorable facial expression almost like a little kid.

“That's good to know… baby needs a lot of daddy’s love then.” She kisses your cheek again. “You can even get those hugs whenever you want.”

“Thank you daddy.” You whisper into her hug. “You’re welcome baby, daddy is always going to give you his love.” She kisses your cheek again and caresses her fingers through your hair. “There, baby’s got all of daddy’s love now…” You and Ellie were still laying in bed together. You really like having her by your side. “So, what does daddy’s little girl want to do now?”

“I dont know..” You say still a bit tired from before.

“Well, daddy’s little girl will have to choose. because daddy’s little baby can have anything she wishes right now…” She bites her bottom lip lightly. “Just tell me, what does daddy’s little baby want…?”

“Hum…” You start thinking. “That's it, baby? Just ‘hum’?” Her voice is suddenly full of sass, as she glances at you. “Daddy was expecting a little bit more, baby… are you saying you don't want daddy’s love now?”

You kiss her, smiling as you wrap your arms around her. She chuckles, as she kisses back. “Oh, someone finally decided what they want.” Her kisses become longer and more passionate. “But, just know, whatever daddy gives baby, it's not enough.” She continues to kiss you passionately. “You deserve the world, babygirl…”.

You continue to make out with her energetically. Her kisses become more passionate, as she grabs you. Her lips slide to your neck, as she gently bites it. “Baby, I think daddy wants more from you now….” She chuckles, as her teeth dig into your neck slightly.

“What daddy?” You ask her innocently.

“Baby, you should know what daddy wants by now.” She smiles, before she bites your neck again. “Do I really need to say it out loud for you, baby…?” Her voice is full of sass and playfulness.

“But I don't know daddy…” You say playfully looking at her, knowing exactly what she's referring to.

“Oh, baby, you know full well that daddy wants to keep making out with his little girl.” She caresses your hair, before she bites your neck again. “I thought you really wanted more from daddy…” Her teeth dig in a bit deeper now.

“I do… I want more than making out…” You say as you feel your face blushing. “Oh? Baby wishes to go further than making out?” She chuckles lightly. “Then I guess daddy shall give her more…”

She pulls you in for another passionate kiss. Her lips slide to your neck, as her teeth dig into it once again. She looks very seductively at you, as her voice remains full of sass. “Daddy would like a little favor in return…”

“Yes daddy?” You ask as she bites you again on your neck that's full of bruises and bite marks at this point.

“Good, baby, daddy didn't expect anything less.” She kisses your neck, before speaking again. “Hmm, what does baby think she has that daddy wants?” Her jaw tightens, as she looks at you. “Oh, maybe, it’s your lips?” She licks her lips before speaking again, as she glances down at you. “Well, baby shall get more from daddy…”

You look into her eyes. Her eyes sparkle now, as she gazes deeply into yours. “Oh, daddy’s little girl wants to have a staring contest? That’s cute…” She seems to enjoy this, her jaw remaining tight. “I don't think baby can win this staring contest though, her eyes don't sparkle as much as daddy’s after all…” Her voice is filled with sass still.

“Yes they do!” You say nudging her softly. “Hmm, do they really?” Her eyes continue to sparkle, as she still stares at you seductively. “Maybe baby is trying to trick daddy, but that won't work.” Her jaw remains tight, as she leans closer to you.

“No cheating.” You say looking at her playfully. “Well, baby, you still won't win anyway, daddy is just too good at this game, baby can't even last 5 seconds against him. ” She chuckles now, as she looks down at you.

“I'm gonna win, you'll see!” You tell her playfully but with a competitive look on your eyes.

“Hmm, baby is pretty confident… daddy does like that about you…” Her jaw tightens, as she still stares at you. “Well, daddy will just watch you and wait… not like you will manage to outstare daddy.” She smirks sarcastically.

“If I tickle you, you lose!” You exclaim sounding like a little kid.

“Oh, is that baby’s strategy? Tickle daddy?” She chuckles, still looking at you. “Daddy doesnt think baby is going to be able to tickle him, let alone make him laugh.” She sighs, as she continues to stare seductively at you. “You’re gonna have to try harder to win, baby…”

You start tickling her and she laughs slightly, as she tries to pull away from you. “Ohhhh, baby’s trying to tickle daddy?” She begins to laugh, as you continue to tickle her. “Oh, stop, baby! hahahaha…” She seems to be ticklish, and starts laughing more.

“You laughed! I win daddy!” You say, very excited. “Ah, I guess I lost.” She chuckles softly, as you stop tickling her. “Well, I guess it’s time for baby to fulfill daddy’s wish… Her jaw is still tight, as she grins seductively. “Will baby still give daddy that special gift?”

“Maybe…” You say teasingly. “Well, that ‘maybe’ won't do, baby girl…” She looks at you seductively. “Daddy still expects baby to give him that special gift…”

“And what is it you want?” You ask her, smiling. You know what she wants full well.

“Well, baby should know by now… daddy has already made it clear to her.” She looks at you seductively. “So now daddy can't be the one to speak first, baby.” Her voice remains teasing. “I suppose baby is just a bit shy to say it, huh?” You blush thinking about it.

Her eyes sparkle with the blush on your face appearing. “Oh, baby’s blushing now…” Her voice is slightly more teasing. “Well, baby needs to say what daddy wants…” She smirks softly. “Unless baby is a liar, and she doesn't want to give daddy that special gift after all.” Her tone is slightly more playful. “Daddy doesnt think baby would lie to him, would she?”

“I'm not a liar!” You say with a pout as you cross your arms.

“Good, baby, daddy didn't think you would be lying.” Her jaw is still tight. “So, baby was just a bit shy to say what daddy wanted?” She smirks softly, “Well, daddy understands why baby was shy to say it, it's a rather… naughty thing to say, isn't it?” You nod blushing even more. Her eyes sparkled once again. “Oh, look at that cute blush on my baby’s face.” She tilts her head, as she runs her fingers down your hair. “Hmm, baby looks so adorable when she’s blushing.” Her voice remains teasing and seductively playfull. “Well, daddy still wants to hear it from baby… is baby going to tell daddy, or is she still shy?”

You look at her shyly. “For me to get on my knees?…” You look away from her eyes.

“Well, do I need to ask more than once?” Her eyes sparkle, as her voice remains teasing. You kneel on the floor in front of her. She sits up slowly, and strokes your hair as you kneel before her. “Oh, baby looks so adorable when she’s on her knees…”

“Well… baby did what daddy wanted, so now daddy shall give her what she wants…” She talks in a calm tone as she strokes your hair still.

“I don’t know what I want daddy….” You say shyly looking at the ground. “Hmm, baby doesn't know what she wants? Well… Daddy has a few ideas for you…” She smirks slightly. “Daddy knows baby wants to keep being on her knees, so baby shall stay like that…” She runs her fingers along your skin now. “Don't worry, you shall get everything daddy wants to give you… but for now, baby’s just gonna stay on her knees.”

“Yes daddy.” You sit very still, just like she commands you. “That's it baby, daddy likes to see you stay on your knees, and not moving, just waiting for me.” She strokes your hair again, as her lips slide to your neck. “Baby is only going to get more from daddy if her good behavior continues…” Her voice is still teasing the whole time. You don't move. Not one muscle.

“Good, baby should learn to listen better when daddy tells her to do something.” She bites your neck again. “Daddy has a reward in a bit, but baby needs to stay still and wait for it, baby can't move an inch, understood?…Or else, daddy has to punish baby…” You still don't move as she ordered. She lets go of your hair now, as she grabs your chin. “Good girl… daddy likes it when baby behaves well.” Her voice becomes more sultry and demanding. “Now, maybe daddy shall give baby a reward, hmm… baby looks so adorable when she’s on her knees…” She rubs her thumb gently on your lips. “Maybe daddy shall let baby be his good girl now.” You nod, smiling up at Ellie in anticipation.

“That's baby’s way of saying ‘yes’ to daddy? Good girl, baby is learning how to talk back to her daddy.” She smiles softly, as her other hand runs down your hair. “How about… daddy puts a collar on you, so you’ll learn to behave properly…” She strokes your hair gently. Your eyes sparkle in excitement.

“Oh, I guess I hit the spot, didn't i?” Her eyes look at you seductively. “Well, it’s a good thing daddy and baby now have an understanding. so, baby is willing to be daddy’s good girl, right?”

“Yes daddy!” You grin happily.

“That’s my baby, you’re so adorable…” She smirks seductively. “So baby would like to be daddy’s good girl then?”

“Yes please daddy.” You say looking up at Ellie.

“Baby shall be his good girl now, baby deserves that collar for her good behavior.” She reaches over to her bedside table, and puts on a pink collar on you as you kneel before her. “This collar means you’ll always be daddy’s good girl, baby. Daddy will always hold the leash to your collar, that way, daddy’s good girl will always hear his voice, even if you can’t see daddy…”

“Yes daddy, anything you say.” You genuinely love being treated this way. It makes you feel loved and cared for. You don't really know how to explain it.

“Oh, so, baby is going to listen to daddy? She’s going to always hold daddy’s voice close, even if daddy is not near?” Her voice is still trying to seduce you. “Well, daddy is quite happy to hear that, baby is so obedient…” You look at her with love in your eyes as she ties the collar around your neck gently.

“Oh, look how pretty this collar is on you!” She looks at you so happy. “Daddy’s good girl looks even more adorable with a collar around her beautiful neck.” Her voice remains teasing and seductively sounding.

“Thank you daddy!” You're so proud to be her girl and for the collar she just gave you.

“Oh, you're so welcome baby, and daddy is quite happy to have his own good girl who listens to everything he says.” Her voice remains teasing. “Well, daddy is sure his good girl wants more rewards…”

“Does daddy want me to crawl for him?” You ask her, feeling good about yourself and how she's looking at you.

“Oh, daddy would love to see his good girl crawl for him….” She chuckles looking down at you.

“Why? So you can learn to behave when daddy isn't nearby?” Her voice is still teasing and sultry. You nod smiling up at Ellie. “Well, daddy’s good girl shall crawl for him now.” She smirks seductively. “If baby does this well, daddy shall give her more rewards.”

You follow Ellie crawling on all fours behind her, being led by the leash. She reaches over to you, and pulls you closer to her face. “Oh my… such a good girl, baby is following behind me.” She strokes your hair. You close your eyes as she caresses you.

“This could be the start of baby’s reward, if daddy gets impressed, then maybe baby will get more, just maybe…” Her voice remains teasing. You continue with your eyes closed as she strokes your hair, making you feel like you're hers and hers alone.

“Oh, I see my beautiful girl likes my touch.” She chuckles softly. “Keep crawling behind daddy a bit more, baby shall get more if she’s being a good girl…”

“Yes daddy.” You continue doing as she says. She looks back and sees you still crawling behind her.

“My baby is so obedient…” She strokes your hair again, and reaches over to pat your head. “Well, daddy wants to give baby a small reward for being a good girl.” You kneel waiting, looking at her. She pulls you closer, as she stares at you seductively. “That's it, baby, you’re doing such a good job for daddy.” Her eyes remain sparkling as she looks at your body. “Well, daddy can see you trying your best.” She continues to stroke your hair as she speaks. “But, you’re still gonna stay on your knees, baby.”

“Yes daddy.” You stop and look at the ground. “Oh, daddy is so glad to hear that, baby seems to always listen to him…” She looks lovingly in your eyes, holding your chin softly. “Maybe this is just another step in daddy making his good girl more and more obedient to him.”

“I love my daddy.” You say this looking into her eyes. “And daddy loves his good girl.” Her voice seems to be getting softer and more loving. “Daddy will always give his good girl all that she needs, when baby deserves it.”

“Thank you.” She leans back slightly now, as she strokes your hair. “Now, baby is going to listen to daddy when daddy needs, right?” You nod in compliance.

“That's how I like to hear it from my good girl…” Her voice is very seducing and sweet. “You’re quite loyal to daddy, and daddy likes that.” She continues to stroke your hair, as she gazes upon you gently.

“I'll always be loyal to you daddy.” You say with closed eyes as she pets you. She leans in close, and hugs you tightly. “Daddy is happy with his good girl, because daddy just wants what’s best for her, in return, daddy will always protect and give you whatever you want, baby.”

“Thank you, for protecting me daddy.” You thank her softly and sweetly, as you hug her back. “Oh, daddy is only doing the minimum for such a good girl like you.” She smiles softly. “Baby will always be safe, nothing will ever harm baby ever again.” Her voice is still sweet. “And daddy will always make sure baby gets all that she wants.”

“All I want is to make you happy.” You say lovingly while looking at her.

“Well, baby is always making daddy happy, so I guess she already has what she wants.” She smirks slightly now. “Well, daddy’s still gonna give you more.” She strokes your hair again as she speaks, her voice remains loving. She gazes upon your face, as she smiles. “Daddy has one more reward in mind, baby might like this…” She whispers softly now. “Would baby be okay if daddy were to.. touch her now?” You nod, smiling excitedly, almost jumping slightly at the mention of her touching you. “Oh, baby’s so adorable when excited.” She smiles softly. Her voice is still sweet. “Well, baby’s going to be very happy with daddy’s touch.” She leans in closer. “Daddy's going to treat you extra well, baby.”

“I can't wait daddy!” You say as you close your hands into light fists and wiggle them excitedly below your chin.

“Well, daddy is gonna give you all of his love and attention, baby is gonna be daddy’s special good girl.” She whispers. “And daddy’s gonna make it all worth it for you, so baby better prepare herself.” Her voice in your ear makes you shiver.

“Well, daddy’s going to start touching baby now, baby better be ready for her reward…” She leans in close. “And maybe baby will love what daddy does to her…” Your eyes are sparkling as she speaks. “Oh, my baby looks so happy, that’s how daddy likes to see her.” Her voice is still seductive as she looks you in the eyes.

“But baby might want to be calm for what’s to happen… baby might get a big surprise when daddy touches her…” She looks you up and down and takes off your t-shirt, to admire your body in the underwear she chose for you to wear today. A pink matching set. The same colour as your collar.

“Yes daddy.” You wait for Ellie to start moving.

“Alright, baby will just have to wait.” She smiles, as her jaw tightens. “Daddy’s gonna touch baby now…” She moves her body slowly closer to you.

“Where?” You ask innocently. She wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you up as her body presses close to yours.

“Well, daddy is going to start with your cute face…” She boops your nose cutely as she whispers gently and seductively. “Daddy is gonna give baby extra love, baby is very lucky to have daddy…”

“I really am lucky to have you daddy.” She kisses your cheek softly. “Well, Daddy always makes sure his good girl is loved and cared for.” She smirks, as her lips trail to your neck now. “Baby is gonna get so much from daddy…”

You kiss her sweetly and wrap your arms around her. She smiles as she kisses you back, her lips trail back to your neck.

“Yes, daddy will give baby even more than she could ever ask for… Daddy just wants the best for his good girl.” Her voice is teasing and seductive. You start feeling very excited. She starts touching your arm with the tips of her fingers lightly, making you shiver.

“Oh, daddy’s good girl seems to be enjoying this…” She bites your neck slightly. “Maybe daddy should keep going then… Just to see how much baby likes it…” Her fingers continue tracing your skin, now on your neck and chest. “This is just only a little bit, baby, daddy wants to give you more but.. baby has to be a good girl and stay still.” She gets up and looks at you with a serious look on her face and you sit still waiting for her to come back. She opens your dresser drawer and takes out your favorite vibrator. It's a pink small machine you use when Ellie can't be with you and you really want to feel good. She gave it to you as a gift for those times. You blush as soon as you see it in her hand and she starts walking back to the bed and sits next to you.

“Baby is behaving so well…” She bites her bottom lip slightly. “Maybe baby does deserve more… Daddy shall give baby the reward she deserves, baby has been such a good girl…” She touches you lightly with it. She's smiling mischievously as she does this. She lays you down on the bed slowly with your back to the mattress and holds one of your legs open. Then she starts trailing the object around your inner thigh very close to your pink panties. “Ready for more, baby?…” You nod, blushing even more as she touches you. “Good… Daddy will make you feel so good…” She presses it to your clothed pussy and you feel your panties start getting wet. You are feeling butterflies as she looks down at you in the eyes as she moves the vibrator still turned off. A few seconds later you can feel her pressing the button and it starts vibrating. As soon as it starts you let out a moan that made Ellie's eyes shine even brighter than they already were. “Feels good, doesn't it baby?” She asks not taking her eyes off of yours. She wants to see your every reaction to what she is doing. You nod frantically as you bite your bottom lip and start tugging at the sheets. Her other hand is gently stroking your hair. “Daddy is gonna move more now okay?” She says as she starts moving the vibrator in small circles over your clothed sensitive clit. You start moaning and every sound you make is music to her ears. “Baby’s gonna get more…” She breathes softly now. “But this is the most daddy can give baby for now though, baby still has to earn her rewards…” Her voice remains teasing, as she looks at you, eyes filled with lust. “Maybe baby deserves even more, but she will have to be extremely good for daddy to let her have it…”

“I'll be good daddy, please don't stop now…” You plead her with puppy eyes but she doesn't budge. “Beg more baby, let daddy hear that sweet voice of yours begging him for more…” She stops moving the vibrator but it's still pressed against your clit. “Please daddy, please, please don't stop now, I want you to make me feel good…” Her eyes shine as she hears you and starts moving it once again. You moan looking back at her and give her a gentle kiss. “That's my good girl…” She smiles as she continues her movements. She turns it off for a second and you whine from the lack of stimuli. She sits back up and gets in between your legs. She slowly brings her hands up to your inner thighs making you shiver. As she reaches your pussy and massages it gently, she feels your wet underwear. “Oh would you look at that… My baby is so excited already…” She pushes your panties to the side and touches you with her slender and skilled fingers and smiles at you, right as she feels your wetness. She starts moving them up and down your folds slowly teasing you. You moan quietly as she does this.

A few seconds later her wet fingers found their way to your swollen clit and started gently rubbing it, making you moan much louder. She continues for a minute or two before slowly stopping and taking her fingers off of you. She then brings them up to your mouth. “Open up baby… Suck daddy's fingers just like a good girl does…” You do as she says and open your mouth as she places her index and middle fingers on your tongue for you to suck them clean. She pushes them deeper into your throat making you tear up as you were about to gag. “ Good girl baby…” She is smiling, biting her bottom lip as she watches you do this. She then starts taking your panties off and picks up the vibrator once more. You blushed even more as you watched her do it.

“Be a good girl and don't move now… or daddy is going to have to punish you, understood?” You nod frantically as she places the object to your wet pussy. It's cold at first which makes you shiver but you don’t move. She smirks as she starts moving between your folds, so the object gets lubricated and when you least expect it she turns it on. It's the lowest setting but you slightly jump up as you feel it. “Don't move baby, be a good girl for daddy.” She says with a darkness spreading across her eyes. “Yes daddy…” You respond trying not to move anymore. She moves the vibrator up to your throbbing clit and you start moaning almost instantly. She chuckles to see you in the state you are right now. She's getting drunk on your sweet moans.“Oh, baby’s being loud for daddy…” She leans down and presses her lips on yours, continuing to stimulate you. You moan into the kiss and Ellie is going crazy to the sound of your voice. With her other hand she starts collecting your slick in her fingers. “So wet for daddy, such a beautiful girl I have…” She gets them lubricated from your love juices and starts slowly prodding at your hole as the vibrator is still on your clit. She starts fingering you and you can't help but arch your back and try to close your legs but Ellie holds them open for her viewing. She loves the way your pussy swallows her fingers so well. “Fuck baby… look at that….” She starts feeling her own boxers getting wet from looking at you, she really wants to touch herself, but she wants to make you cum more. She can't help licking her lips and biting her bottom one.

You are starting to feel that familiar knot form in your belly as the pleasure keeps getting more intense and your moans show it. With the vibrator on your clit and her fingers inside you you are gonna cum in no time. Ellie knows this and is loving every second of it. “That's it baby, cum on daddy's fingers.. be a good girl and cum for him to taste you…” As you hear her voice it is as if your body responds by itself and you feel your orgasm brewing and quickly wash over you as your mind is starting to go blank from all the pleasure she's providing you right now. She doesnt stop though and puts the vibrator in the next setting, making you almost scream her name for all the neighbors to hear. “Good girl baby… Take what daddy gives you and don't complain.”

You cum on her fingers as she continues her actions. You start feeling light headed from all the sensations she's providing you. You never knew you could feel this good. Ellie looks at you with an almost predatory look in her eyes as if you were her prey and she was about to devour you. She starts kissing your soft lips, still not stopping. Her lips trail down to your neck and your chest as she is very slowly starting to stop fingering you. She brings her fingers to her mouth and sucks every last drop of your cum, moaning as she does it. She then moves your bralette to the side to expose your nipples without taking it off because she loves seeing you with it on. She kisses your beautiful breasts gently as she starts to suck on one of them, fondling it. The vibrator is still pressed to your bundle of nerves and you are going crazy to her touch. She sucks harder and nibbles at your sensitive nipples making them poke out. You start feeling goosebumps forming on your skin as you feel her lips trailing down your abdomen, leaving bites and wet kisses as she goes. She turns off the pink machine and massages your clit slowly as if to caress it. Your breath starts getting more even as she calms down a bit. She looks at you with a mischievous look in her eyes. “Is baby having a good time so far? Daddy is not done yet though…”

You look down at her as she speaks to you but you're caught by surprise as you feel her tongue now on your throbbing clit instead of her skilled fingers. You start moaning almost instantaneously and she smirks at your body's reaction. She starts working her magic on you and you feel as if another orgasm is approaching. Ellie cant take it anymore and picks up the vibrator as she brings it down to her own crotch. She turns it on and massages her needy clit as she moans into your own, making you feel the vibrations in her voice. The room is filled by both of your moans and the faint sound of the TV in the background. Ellie looks like a starved woman as she continues eating you out like there's no tomorrow.

She's feeling so good that she doesn't want to stop. She can feel her own orgasm approaching as she moves the vibrator around inside her boxers. As the pressure builds up, she starts moaning louder and her breath starts becoming raged. She sucks your clit as she feels her orgasm wash over her. She's almost humping her own hand which is holding the pink vibrator. “Fuck baby…. Daddy wishes he could cum inside of you… Baby has no idea how much daddy wants that…” She feels her cum on her fingers as she is coming down from her high. She turns off the tiny machine and puts it to the side to be washed later. She puts her hand inside her soaking boxers and collects some of her cum as she looks into your glistening pussy. She wants so bad for her cum to be inside you. Her eyes go dark for a bit as she considers stuffing you with her fingers that are now covered with her own cum. She licks your slit clean from top to bottom with her skilled tongue. Then she brings her cum covered fingers and stuffs you with two, making you gasp as you were not expecting it. You quickly look down and see Ellie with a mischievous smirk as she puts her cum inside you. “Look baby…. Daddys cum is inside you… doesn't it feel nice?” She comes up, her fingers still inside you as she kisses you exploring your mouth with her tongue and you let her. Moaning into the kiss. “Just so you know who you belong to…” She looks into your eyes and brings her hand up to your mouth gesturing for you to open up. She almost makes you gag as she studs her slender fingers down your throat as you taste both of your juices together and nearly get drunk on them. She then slowly pulls them out letting you breathe and kisses you gently.

You both now laid in bed next to each other. You were hugging her and she caressed your smooth hair. “Daddy loves you so much…” She says with her eyes closed and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “And I love you daddy, more than you know…” You two were now about to drift off to sleep as you embraced each other tightly. You never wanted to let go. If it were up to you you'd never leave Ellie’s harms ever again.

The next few days were filled with more moments like this one. You and Ellie were falling hard for each other. She was so proud to have you and to call you hers. She loved everything about you. Your sunny personality, your hair, your eyes, your smile and your cute laugh when she would tell you unfunny dad jokes. She loved your touch and your kisses. She loved being able to get to know you so intimately. She could look at you forever and never get tired. In just a few weeks you turned into the most important person in the world for her. The one she never wanted to lose.

[sserapic]

maybe in another world, my dearest.

summary. getting into a relationship with the balladeer was your greatest mistake, though you don't regret anything that had happened between you. after taking the side of the good guys, he just never felt the love he used to feel every damn time he sees you. but if you couldn't handle the pain then you shouldn't feel it anymore, altering your memories of him is such a great idea. you say.

character(s). scaramouche/wanderer, gn!reader

tw. angst, no happy ending.

"come on, traveler, lead me to him."

you had convinced lumine that you're the lover of scaramouche, well, ex-lover. she hesitated despite the fact that you're a harbinger in which you couldn't be trusted very easily.

scaramouche sat there, under a tree, in the grass where he admired the view from up there. "wanderer." wanderer? had he changed identities?

he was certainly in shock to see you, well he should be, he left you in the dark and never came back which led you to search for him.

"oh, it's you."

you noticed how the traveler had left as you sat next to the former harbinger who you used to fought alongside with, who loved you so dearly but changed so damn quick.

"so, wanderer is the name you go with now?"

"yep."

even up until now you wish that he'd just fall in love with you all over again and come back to you, but you both know it wouldn't even work out anymore even if he did come back to you, the feeling left him but yours never escaped.

"y/n, you do not have to make yourself suffer like this. just go back to being the harbinger you are, but im afraid i cannot stand beside you any longer."

you fought back the tears trying to break free from your eyes, "but i cant. i always need you by my side." you sniff, refusing to even look his way.

"you have to, you can't just cry about me all the time. you're the 5th of the fatui harbingers, there's a chance that we might be each other's opponents someday."

the thought of him taking the side of the good guys while you stayed with the villains hurts like fuck. but somehow, you also cannot betray the tsaritsa.

"why does it hurt so much.." your voice muffled from covering your face with both hands, not wanting him to look at you, crying.

"because the love you had for me was genuine, and so was mine. but ive already moved on, neither will mine come back even if we get back together."

he stood up, lending you a hand.

as soon as you got back to your feet you pulled him close and sobbed in his chest, he let you sob your pain out, ignoring the fact that you're ruining his clothes.

"the traveler has mentioned that nahida can alter memories, is she telling the truth."

"yes, but wh-"

"can you please just make her erase mine?"

"y/n i don-"

"please.."

although he had to make sure that the God of Wisdom was alright with helping a harbinger, he agreed and so did nahida. she was honestly touched and wounded from hearing about you and sc- the wanderer.

he wished to stay and observe how nahida erases him from your memories and will forever be an enemy in your eyes once this finishes.

"one last time, y/n. are you okay with this."

you nodded, glancing at your ex lover one last time. if the Gods ever allow you to live once more, at least let it be with him.

"here we go."

tears started streaming down on your cheek as you closed your eyes, and felt weird seconds later. your eyes opened and observed the unfamiliar place you were in, turning your attention to a certain man beside you who was on the verge of tearing up.

maybe in another world, y/n. i will love you with all i have, that's a promise.

now he just has to watch you from afar, knowing that he would forever be the opponent of the side you've always been with. as much as he wanted to grab his feelings back, he couldn't.

note. hey !! this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now, and this is actually inspired by a genshin oneshots book in Wattpad ! also about the smau, i commented on the second chapter. please take a look at it if you're waiting for an update on the smau !

[posttexasstressdisorder]

When in doubt, BAKE! Pt. 685: Saturday Night Bread

It's been one fuck of a week again, and my world has been changed drastically, and today I said fuck it I'm gonna bake bread.

This batch is about 60-40 Whole Wheat-White, a "Whole wheat Light"...it usually makes excellent sammy bread. It has some heft, but it's not so heavy as pure whole wheat.

Not sure if I've posted about THE BOOK yet, but this is THE BOOK if you really REALLY want to get good at baking bread:

"The Laurel's Kitchen BREAD BOOK", written in 1984 as a followup to the classic Laurel's Kitchen, by Laurel Roberston, Carole Flinders et.al. Carole and Laurel were both excellent writers, and the book is a pleasure to read. It's got the typical hippie wood cuts (they were in Berkeley, after all) and is my home bread-baker's bible. They wouldn't approve tonight's loaves, which are padded with white flour. lulz. I give myself lots of fail room when I haven't baked in awhile.

The original Laurel's Kitchen was the very first vegetarian cookbook I ever read, it was 1981, I'd just moved to Houston to work in the record stores...learned a lot from that book, but one trick they used can no longer be used, and they stressed that in the Bread Book: No baking in 48 oz juice cans (which they had championed in the first book). Now they line the cans with poisonous coatings, can't use them. Which is fine with me...I like my bread square/rectangular, when I'm makin' sammies.

Started this batch with 3 cups whole wheat, 2 1/2 cups white, and a tablespoon of salt, dry in the mixer bowl. Mix on low for about a minute to mix thoroughly. Replace the paddle with the dough hook.

In a 4-cup Pyrex measure, put 2 1/2 cups luke-warm water, and in a 1 cup measure, put 1/2 cup lukewarm water.

Into that one cup, put a tablespoon of brown sugar. Put another tablespoon of brown sugar in the large measure. Sprinkle one tablepoon of dry yeast into the small measure and stir.

With the mixer on the first speed, with the dough hook, slowly pour the yeast mix into the dry ingredients in the bowl. Follow with the rest of the water/sugar.

Now start adding small amounts of white flour until it begins to "pick up" and starts cleaning the bowl. In between these additions of flour, add, about a tablespoon at a time, 2 tablespoons of softened salted butter. The dough should pick up and become quite soft after a few more minutes.

After mixing on the first speed for about five minutes with the dough hook, turn it out onto a floured countertop and finish kneading by hand.

It'd been so long since I had my hands on some warm, live dough...and it made me smile, it's such an amazing feeling to work with it in its various stages.

Once it's become a good, solid dough from hand kneading for about five minutes, form it into large ball, and put in a large crockery bowl that's been buttered. Turn the ball to coat, place a linen towel atop and place in a draft-free, warm zone. That cabinet in the spot above the fridge is perfect. After about an hour and a half, it should be lookin' good, and a finger-poke in the middle won't "fill in".

Mash it down, making sure you get ALL the trapped air bubbles out. Form it into a ball again, and put it back in the bowl, and let it rise a SECOND TIME for about 40-45 minutes tops. It should take roughly half the time of the first rise.

Mash it down the second time, and flatten in to a big rectangle, and divide it in half. Let it rest for about five minutes.

Now form into loaves and put in the long bread loaf pans, pre-greased with shortening.

Put them back above the fridge, covered, for about 20 minutes, until they are just arching above the tops of the pans.

Put them into the 400 degree oven and let them bake for 15 minutes. AFTER 15 MINUTES, TURN THE TEMPERATURE DOWN TO 350, WITHOUT OPENING THE OVEN DOOR.

Let bake for another 30-40 minutes.

Loaves are done when they have a hollow sound when tapped, much like a watermelon when ripe.

Turn out of pans immediately and cool on racks until completely cool. Brush the tops with melted butter, if you like.

This is a good everyday bread for sammies and toast. Using butter, and using the higher temp for the initial "spring" time helps give this a solidly crunchy crust, and the blend of flours gives it a very nice texture and crumb. Yields two large loaves.

Baker gets first slice slathered in softened butter.

Y'all enjoy! I'm off to stand under the hot water for a good long while.

[iamawolfstarsimp]

Lighten Up Moony

Sup bitches im back

This has been sitting in my drafts, fully finished for like a week and I totally forgot to post it soooo here ya go lmao

So yeah enjoy

Remus didn't laugh that much. When he was a little boy he didn't laugh alot, he started laughing more when he met the other marauders. When he was 17 was probably when he laughed the most. After the war his want or need to laugh died down so much it was almost dead. The most anyone could ever get out of him was a scoff or a small chuckle at best.

Now-a-days, even while living with basically two re-encarnations of Sirius and James and Sirius himself, he didn't laugh alot. And when he did it was very quiet, timid. He didn't even notice that he didn't laugh alot until one of the twins (he couldn't recognize which one it was) mentioned it.

"Hey, Lupin?" Fred (he assumed) asked. Remus glanced at him. "Why don't you ever laugh?"

"What are you talking about, I laugh." Remus hid his surprise.

"Yeah but not alot, even at jokes and stuff you never laugh." They answered. Remus contemplated what he had just said.

"Well, maybe you guys aren't as funny as you think you are." Remus teased to help mask his confusion. Honestly he didn't know why he didn't laugh alot. It might be because playful banter always reminded him of staying up late with his friends back at school. Or that Fred sometines made him think of James. Or maybe being alone for all that time made him unable to just laugh at something.

After that no one mentioned it again but it always stuck with Remus, and apparently Sirius too.

Sirius found Remus in one of the many rooms of this house, reading a book off of one of the shelves, it looked to be about poetry. How boring. Remus looked up when he heard Sirius enter and gave him a brisk nod, closing his book.

"Hey," was all Remus said.

"Hey Moons, can I ask you something?" Sirius walked over to him.

"Sure, what is it?" Remus tilted his head slightly, something he did when he was listening.

"The others were talking about a while ago how you never laugh and I want to know why."

Out of habit, Remus tried to think of a good lie to come up with before realizing he shouldn't lie to Sirius. He didn't have to. He sighed and thought.

"I don't know." He finally answered. "Really I don't! I'm being completely honest." Remus said to Sirius' skeptical look.

"Maybe all the years of trauma finally got to me." He shrugged with a small smile.

"I could get you to laugh." That startled Remus. He didn't expect Sirius to say that. Though, Sirius said alot of out of pocket things so he shouldn't be surprised.

"Alright.." he said warily. He decided to humor Sirius. "How?"

Sirius immediately grinned and grabbed his hand, tugging him twords a dusty looking armchair. He sat Remus down and the leaned over in front of him.

Without warning Sirius scribbled his fingers on Remus' sides. Remus yelped quietly, his elbows shooting down to clamp to his sides.

"What are you doing?!" Remus said in a higher pitched voice than his regular voice.

"Just trying something out," Sirius said nonchalantly. "You wouldn't happen to still be ticklish, would you Remus?"

"N-no, of course not." Remus mentally kicked himself for stuttering. He didn't even know if he was still ticklish or not. It had been years since someone had actually tickled him.

He watched and let Sirius' hands contiune their scribbling on his abdomen, moving over to his stomach where he had to tense his muscles and bite his lip not to let out a giggle.

Sirius watched his face to see any changes in his expression. He narrowed his eyes and poke his sides and belly again, still getting no response. But when he moved up to scratch at Remus' lower ribs-

"Okay, okay!" Remus' hands came down and grabbed onto Sirius' pulling them away from his ribs.

"Aha!" Sirius shouted excitedly. He broke free of Remus' grip quickly and rapidly squeezed his ribs causing Remus to break into a fit of giggles.

Sirius grinned devilishly down at Remus. He looked ten times younger while laughing like this, head throw back onto the back of the armchair, eyes squeezed shut, his nose scrunching up in that cute way he used to do when they were younger.

Even after all this time Remus noted that he still didn't mind when Sirius would mess with him.

Sirius allowed Remus to grab his wrists and hold them away from his body while he caught his breath. Sirius leaned closer and kissed Remus in the cheek, just to watch his face turn red.

"I can't believe I'm still ticklish." Remus grumbled as he covered his face with his hands.

"I can." Sirius grinned when Remus glared.

"Oh, come on." He smirked. "You're like, the king of being ticklish."

"Shut up." Remus punctuated his works with a sharp poke to Sirius' stomach.

"I can't wait to use this against you," Remus groaned at that, rolling his eyes. Sirius gasped. "I need to tell Harry!" He jumped up and ran out of the room.

"I'm gonna tickle you back!!" Remus shouted after him but to no avail. He sighed shook his head fondly. Never a dull moment with Sirius Black.

Hope you liked

[diodellet]

short life update: hi, i'm not dead!

the short of it is that i'm still kinda in the middle of recovering from burnout but i think i'm in a better (and less busy state) than last week so yipee, im gonna catch up on all the fun stuff ive missed out on 🙇🙇

(longer explanation under the cut)

i've mentioned offhandedly that i was at the tail-end of the semester in uni. and well, after several days of letting the news steep and settling my backlogged obligations:

i'm gonna be graduating in the next few weeks!!

(the start of this year was really really rough for me, i really thought of dropping out to take a break for my mental and emotional health, but at the same time, i was so darn close to finishing that i didn't want to have to wait another year to be free from university)

i am: two parts excited and tired. so fricking tired. i really shouldn't have decided to do fanfic alongside my thesis, that was A Choice. (but fanfic so fun, so comfort, so indulgent for my piddly brain🥴🥴)

at the moment, i don't really have any definite plans for my fanfic writing. i kinda wanna keep my options open in terms of which fics i'll post, but i also don't want to accidentally plunge myself into burnout for the nth time. so right now, it's just the vday's drabbles and wcidfy (?) but spontaneous drafts also like to do their thing, so i really don't know, and i don't want to make promises that i can't follow through on. but i'm back for realsies, thanks for sticking with this mess of a fanfic writer ahaha 🙇🙇

[aesthetic-uni]

*slams door open* ALRIGHT I KNOW IM LATE BUT Y’ALL BETTER HAVE DONE YOUR HOMEWORK BY NOW OR ELSE IM TOSSING Y’ALL IN THE ABYSS

This has honestly been in my drafts for weeks and I’ve been fighting to finish it. I gotta get this out now before another hyperfixation takes over (spoiler alert: it already has)

Before I do I would like to call out publicly three star students, because one I appreciate them and two I just really want them to see my shit since I feel appreciated. @carpe-yeet-em @ceci-seesaw and @bogos-bint3d thank y’all for being Star students

Quick warning: This WILL contain spoilers for the series. It’s nothing super major or plot twisty-The series is in its very early stages so it’s nothing that you wouldn’t find out by you know, reading the thing wink wink nudge nudge. However I would suggest reading it first so you at least have an understanding of it

OKAY THOUGHTS

Holy shit this series is so good. I’m not joking I’m looking forward so much for this series and how everything plays out, because I can tell this is going to be a really intriguing story and I’m excited for it. I would say the thing I’m most excited to see is the relationship between Shen Yuhua and Chu Tian. They’re just, they’re so sweet I really can’t wait to see how their relationship grows.

Okay I’m not really good with expressing my thoughts so let’s move on TO THE CRACK THEORY SECTION BABEY YEAAAH

Theory number uno: Tf is Chu Tian doing? I think it’s pretty easy to see, he’s trying to create an army against the Chaoyang palace. He wants revenge against Shen Yuitian and is only playing along with Shen Yuhua for now. But I think he either does really care for her or will grow to really care for her. So he’s trying to destroy the blood pact so he doesn’t have to hurt her to achieve his end means. And I bet Shen Yuhua will eventually learn to go this side

Theory b: Qiao Yu will join the group and become an older sister to Shen Yuhua. There’s really only two ways it could go down with Shen Yuhua and Qiao Yu, either rivals or sisters. I don’t really see rivals working out, cause Yuhua doesn’t really care, but for my own heart I could totally see Qiao Yu being a surrogate older sister to Shen Yuhua, which would be a great but heartbreaking parallel to her actual older sister

Theory 3 (the big one): Okay, let’s talk about the big mystery surrounding one of the characters. Not Chu Tian, not Shen Yuitian, not even Shen Yuhua.

Let’s talk about Swallowtail

First off: BEST BOY WE LOVE HES AMAZING

Now for the actual theory, Swallowtail is undoubtedly the biggest mystery in Doatf, he pretends to be a useless servant to Shen Yuhua but actively sabotages her chances of marriage, but also protects her with his life. Why? Why is he acting as such? In fact, in his introduction it is noted he was in fact a disciple but was demoted. He’s clearly skilled, why would he pretend not to be in order to be demoted?

It’s because I believe he’s working for Chu Tian, and always planned for Shen Yuhua to fall into the abyss.

What evidence do I have to back this up?

…..I did say it was a crack theory

Okay I do have A LITTLE to back it up. But it doesn’t start with Swallowtail, it actually starts with the second biggest mystery of the series, Wen Qinglan, Yuhua’s mother. We know her crimes, murder, but more important conspiracy and adultery with a demon. Why was Wen Qinglan working with a demon? I believe she was working to free Chu Tian from the abyss. Why? Because I said so >:(

Anyway obviously when Wen Qinglan died, the plot must progress and there had to be a new person to get a Shen into the abyss, and would you look at that. There’s a Shen who’s been completely shunned from her family that needs a servant.

This is why he had to sabotage Yuhua’s suitors, he couldn’t have her leaving the palace or else it would risk the whole operation. On top of that, remember how Yuhua’s older sister said that it was Swallowtail who pushed her in. Why on earth would she say that? He’s clearly devoted to her, and despite maybe Yuling pushing the blame on him, why would anyone believe that? He wasn’t even near the scene?

Unless of course, they already know he’s shady as fuck, or have evidence to show he’s shady as fuck.

I cannot stress enough how much crack this crack theory is based on. I am genuinely pulling strings and putting on tinfoil hats here.

But I’m having fun so I don’t care >:)

I do want to say just as a statement-I don’t think Shen Yuhua is some chosen hero. The abyss story is so clearly made up, and I do really think she doesn’t have strong magic. But just because she’s not strong or special in one area, doesn’t mean she can’t become something wonderful. And I just can’t wait to see what she becomes in this comic. I’m so excited for the rest

Alright the rest of my thoughts are completely scattered that’s all ya getting PEACE

[violence-uncut]

Distractions. ( j.m. & e.k. )

pairing: jon x eddie

warnings: m/m, smut, oral, daddy kink, blood ( small ), mentions of sex toys, shower sex

type: one-shot

words: 2,673

summary: eddie helps mox one of the only ways he knows how.

( based on the episode of dynamite/winter is coming! )

a/n: two years. . . geez im so sorry. but i've had this in my drafts forever so forgive if it's a bit rusty. hopefully another one will be posted in a few weeks. enjoy!

AEW Dynamite / Winter Is Coming! 12-2-20 - Jon Moxley vs. Kenny Omega for the AEW Championship.

It was supposed to be a clean fight. He was so stupid to think Omega would play fair. It just proves to Jon just how much of a coward this guy really is. So much for the fucking Gentleman’s agreement. He currently lays in the center of the ring, blood dripping into his eye.

Mox’s body feels like lead even though the anger made it feel like his entire being was set on fire. Despite the dazed look in his eyes, he really wanted to punch something or someone right now.

Jon could hear commotion out on the stage, hearing a certain New Yorker spit curses towards a specific man named Lance Archer. When the brawl breaks out on the stage, Jon works his way under the ropes and stumbles over to the barricade with help from officials.

He just wants to stay and wait for Eddie but he's urged to the back so the Doc could stitch him up. Once he's cleared and free to go, Jon storms off down the hall towards the locker room. He's breaking things and shoving equipment carts out of his way as he rages, a headache brewing at the base of his skull.

All Mox could think of was Callis and Kenny running from the building with his championship.

"MOTHERFUCKER!" He yells out, shoving a cart particularly hard that it topples over, spilling its contents all over the floor. A member of the crew rushes up, trying to calm Jon down. "Get the fuck away from me!" He couldn't remember the last time he was this angry. He feels it boiling under his skin as he gets bombarded.

He just wants to get to the damn locker room. He can feel the tears begin to form behind his eyes as he starts shoving people away from him out of pure fight or flight.

“Hey!”

Everyone freezes at the sound of Kingston’s voice. “Move, Move! What the fuck is going on here?!” Jon’s back is to the commotion as he takes deep breaths.

One of the security guards explains what happened to Eddie, a few words later and he walks over, placing his hands on Jon’s shoulders. “C’mon Mox, let’s go.” He gives him a shove towards the locker room.

Mox does what he’s told and makes his way, shoving the door open. All the wrestlers in there look up when the two enter and all Eddie has to do is glare across the crowd and they’re all scrambling to gather their things. Jon walks over to his cubby and sits inside, head dropping into his hands with a hefty sigh.

After making sure there’s no one else in the room, Eddie locks the door and heads over, stopping in front of Mox’s sulking form. He reaches up and runs his fingers through the bit of hair on the top of his head.

Jon drops his hands and rests his forehead against Kingston’s stomach. He’s still breathing heavily and the tears he’d tried so desperately to hold back now spill freely down his cheeks.

Eddie knows Mox doesn’t need words right now. He trails his fingers down and cups his chin, gently pulling Jon’s head up.

The look in his eyes alone made Eddie want to hunt Kenny down and do unspeakable, extremely violent things to him. “Oh baby boy. . .” He cups Jon’s face with both hands and wipes the tears away with his thumbs.

Sniffling, Jon leans into the older man's touch, his shoulders dropped, eyes closing. "D-Daddy. . ." His voice cracks and Kingston leans down, pressing his forehead against Mox's. "I'm here baby. I'm here." Their lips connect in a kiss and Jon's hands reach up, gripping onto his shoulders.

Eddie reaches between them and rests his hands on his hips, reluctantly breaking the kiss. "Let's go get you cleaned up, yeah?" Jon nods solemnly, letting go as Eddie rises, taking a hold of one of his hands automatically and tugging Mox up. He leads him to the showers, stopping him in front of an end stall.

“Undress for me.” He instructs, reaching in and turning on the water to piping hot just the way he knew the other loved. Jon fumbles with his belt, pulling it through the loops. He knows he’s being a little dramatic but he just couldn’t help it. He should’ve paid more attention during the match, he should’ve-

“Hey, baby boy. Hey. . .” Eddie’s soft tone cuts through his thoughts. Warm hands replace his own and Kingston works on getting Mox out of his jeans.

Something resembling a whimper leaves his lips as his boyfriend helps him undress the rest of the way. “Thank you. . .” Eddie maneuvers him under the spray of the water, careful not to get himself wet. “You’re welcome sweetheart.”

He steps back, arms crossing over his chest and watches Jon’s naked body, his eyes scaling up his toned legs, to his perfect ass and up his- abs? Eddie blinks, finding Jon’s now facing him, his big blue eyes gazing up at him.

“Please join me daddy?”

He smiles, actually smiles. The only thing that gets him to smile now-a-days. He starts to undress, kicking off his timbs and shedding each layer one by one. “Since you asked so sweetly.” Mox watches as he strips, subconsciously licking his lips when Kingston slips off his boxers and steps into the shower.

They step into each other and Jon wraps his arms around the other’s neck, planting a firm kiss on his lips. Eddie smiles into it and grabs the younger man’s ass, pulling him flush against his body. He can barely taste Mox’s blood mixing into the kiss because of the water washing over them.

Jon groans into Kingston's mouth when he feels their cocks brush against one another. Eddie deepens the kiss, sliding his hands down to the back of Jon's thighs. He lifts him up, wrapping his legs around him. "Fuck King. . ." Jon pants, locking his ankles together.

"You act like I don't fuck ya like this all the time." The man smirks, pushing Jon back against the tiled wall, holding him there. Moxley’s head lulls back with a thud as Kingston begins trailing his kisses down the column of his throat.

“Mmm, and? Lemme enjoy how fuckin’ jacked my man is, okay?” The two engage in a mini stare down before Eddie grins, slowly spreading his ass apart. “Oh f-fuuuck. . .” Jon’s moans echo throughout the showers at the stretch.

The elder smirks, maneuvering Jon’s ass over his cock. “Feel good baby?” Mox whimpers when he feels the head of his cock pressing against his hole. “Yes daddy, fuck. . . please, wanna feel you inside me.” He wiggles his hips, a long moan leaving his lips as Eddie sinks all the way into him.

“That’s my boy, takin’ me so well,” Kingston’s voice is deep and rough in Jon’s ear. Shudders rack his body as he tightens his hold on Eddie. Rough hands settle on his hips, giving him time to adjust. Eddie gives him a few more seconds before working him up and back down his thick cock.

  “Shit, have you been usin’ your toys?” Eddie groans out as he fucks up into Jon. All Mox could manage is a smirk as he swiveled his hips, letting him feel the answer to his own question. Eddie slips in and out of him easily, a chuckle on his lips.

  “You’re such a tease baby boy. But fuck if I don’t love it-” Eddie’s cut off by Jon grabbing the back of his neck and slamming their lips together in a sloppy kiss.

“An’ you talk too much, put your words where your cock is, daddy." He purrs, beginning to fuck down against him at a steady pace. He rejoined their lips and slips his tongue into Kingston’s mouth; gently running it over his to get him to stop talking.

Their hot breaths mingle as Eddie clutches Mox’s hips, helping him ride his cock faster. He groans at the assault on his tongue, feeling him suck the muscle gently.

Jon knows what he’s doing to his boyfriend, but he’s justified- kinda. Mox snickers into the other’s mouth, a string of moans leaving him when he brushes that special spot inside him.

Eddie’s top lip curls into a smirk, fingers gripping his boy’s hips harder; He’s almost positive there’s gonna be bruises in their place tomorrow.

He didn’t need any affirmation to know that he’d found Jon’s prostate. He whimpers, tightening his hold around Kingston’s neck, pressing their foreheads together rather hard.

Jon can’t help the string of begs that leave him as he gets closer and closer to reaching his end. “P-Please daddy. . . I needa cum, please.” Eddie chuckles roughly, panting against each other’s mouth as he reaches between them, wrapping his hand around Jon’s cock. His eyes roll back into his head as Eddie’s firm grip. “Shit daddy, please, please!”

His wrecked pleas and whimpers are music to Kingston’s ears as he begins to jerk him. “That’s daddy’s desperate boy.” He growls hotly against Jon’s ear. Warm tears of pleasure spill down Mox’s cheeks as he feels his orgasm creep up on him starting in his toes.

Jon cups the back of Eddie’s head and wraps his other arm around his shoulders for support. “Fuck daddy ‘m s-so close pl-plea-” Jon’s mumbles are cut short as he spills over Eddie’s fingers; the elder milking his cock to the last drop.

Eddie kisses away some tears along both Jon’s cheeks as he works him through his high. “That’s it baby boy, did such a good job for me.” Eddie coos, his thrusts slowing to a stop. Jon lets his head fall back, goosebumps erupting all over his body.

“You didn’t get to cum. . .” Shaking his head fondly, Eddie wraps his arm fully around Jon’s waist, walking them over so he could shut off the now icy water.

“Mm, wasn’t ‘bout me tonight.”

Jon squeezes around his boyfriend’s cock still inside him, whimpers of pleasure leaving his lips as Kingston walks back towards the lockers. “Gonna pull out now sweet boy, think you can handle it?” A sigh of protest leaves Mox’s lips but he nods anyways.

It takes Mox a few minutes to regain feeling in his legs but Eddie’s right there, holding him up. Comfortable silence settles over them as Eddie pulls out their street clothes.

“I’ll pay ya back with a blowie or somthin’ later.” Rolling his eyes while his back is turned, Eddie grabs one of his towels before facing the other. “Shut the hell up,” He responds playfully, starting to dry Jon off. “You ain’t payin’ back shit.”

Jon grins cheekily, lifting his arms as Eddie runs the towel down his body. “At least let me dry you off too? I can’t have your naked body in front of me and not be able to touch it-.” The end of Jon’s sentence is slightly cut off as Eddie throws the towel in his face.

Jon laughs and catches it before it falls. He could sense Eddie’s patience thinning a little by the look on his face. He walks over and starts drying Eddie’s head and beard.

“Thank you for takin’ care of me,” Jon places a kiss on Kingston's cheekbone, pressing against him lightly, his body language following the opposite the words that just came from Eddie’s lips.

“I can always count on my daddy.” Mox continues to dry him off, tossing the towel away right before getting to his crotch. His hand takes its place, gripping Eddie’s cock triumphantly.

A deep breath exhales through Eddie’s nose, eyes becoming cloudy with lust. “You really don’t like to listen, do ya?” Jon smirks, nipping along his stubble jawline. He tightens his grip, pumping him slowly.

“No’p’e, how else is this relationship gonna work?” He pushes the right half of his body against Eddie’s, knocking him back against the wall. He picks up his pace, a satisfied groan leaving Eddie’s lips.

“I knew you wanted this,” Eddie’s hand comes up quick and clutches the back of Mox’s neck. “ ‘Course I did,'' He grits out, capturing Jon in a kiss that’s all teeth and tongue. “Always do, but tonight was about you baby.”

Smiling in victory, Jon swipes his thumb over the leaking head in his hand. “I know daddy, but I love your cock and I want to repay you. . .” If Eddie could’ve gotten any harder by just those words alone, he probably would’ve.

He squeezes Jon’s neck, a moan breaking out with his words, “A-Alright baby boy, alright.” Sated, Mox smirks and bites down onto the junction between Eddie’s neck and shoulder. 

A growl leaves Eddie’s throat as Jon bites into his skin, the feeling sending jolts of pleasure down his spine. Trailing nips down the length of Eddie’s body, Jon sinks to his knees and comes eye level with his cock. More precum trickles down the slight curve of Kingston’s dick and it makes Mox’s mouth water.

“C’mon baby boy, clean up your mess. . .” Mox eagerly licks up the sensitive side; Collecting the precum on his tongue before wrapping his lips around the head.

A taste that’s even more distinctly Eddie explodes on his taste buds as Jon expertly swallows him to the base. He breathes through his nose, feeling his boyfriend filling his throat with every pump from his hips, making Mox’s eyes roll back into his head in pleasure.

Eddie’s head thrashes back and forth against the concrete, his thoughts getting fuzzy each time Jon takes him all the way. “Fuck baby, that’s it. . . always thinkin’ of daddy. Such a good boy.”

Moxley’s whole body is sore, his head full on pounding now but he definitely didn’t want to be anywhere else right now. The feeling of the cold floor on his knees helps cool his still overheating body.

He sighs when Kingston reaches down and runs his fingers through his beard. A sign that his boyfriend was close to his end.

Suddenly pulling off with an obnoxiously loud ‘pop’, Jon wraps his hand around Eddie’s cock, keeping the same pace as his mouth. “Gonna cum for me already daddy? Was I that good?” His eyes flick up and lock on Eddie’s, the hand on his jaw tightening.

Praise was something Kingston knew Jon craves, and he’s going to give him exactly what he wants.

“Mhm, so fuckin’ good baby. You know what you do to d-daddy.” Mox kisses around the head as he jerks Eddie faster, wrapping his lips around the tip. “Fuck, gonna make me cum so good baby boy, such a pretty mouth. . .” Eddie’s thumb rubs against Mox’s cheek, his breath hitching as Jon takes him fully down again. His hips begin thrusting against Mox’s face, both of his hands holding his head still.

Eddie’s body goes rigid as he cums down Jon’s throat, his groans echoing through the locker room. Mox swallows everything that’s given to him as Kingston pumps into his mouth. He places his hands on Eddie’s thighs to stabilize himself, watery eyes watching every expression on Eddie’s face as he sucks him dry.

Eddie pulls Mox off him and up into a messy kiss, tasting himself. “Shit baby boy, you always give the best head,” He chuckles against the other’s lips, feeling Jon’s arms wrap around his middle. “Funny to think you weren’t gonna let me.” Jon smirks, leaning into the pressure when Eddie wraps a hand around his throat.

“You’re so fuckin’ annoying.” Eddie replies with a fond eye roll, pecking Mox’s lips a few times. Mox kisses back eagerly each time before eventually pulling away so they could get dressed and leave. Jon walks with his head held a little higher as he and Kingston walk out to their rental.

Even though he lost tonight, even though Kenny cheated and basically spit in the face of what he was doing to carry AEW through this shit storm of a year. Mox is definitely sure he left being the real winner.

fin.

[carmenized-onions]

and i’m back with another yap session🤭okay okay, there were some parts that i forgot to mention last time so hopefully i can hit them this time and feel less insane😀

1. SYD AND TONY!!! i’ve been wanting to touch on them for a while but i never know how to do in a way that makes sense?? BUT THE FRIENDSHIP IS SO PRECIOUS, I CAN’T. they remind of the tiktok sound that’s like “we were girls together” and i literally can’t get that outta my head with them🥺 i think i just love reading about tony and the rest of the gang?? like i love seeing how they fit into the chaotic puzzle that was the beef– ESPECIALLY with all the new changes happening!! plus carmy’s reactions to tony’s dynamic with everyone is actually hilarious😭 like when he was so pressed that ppl have their own nicknames for her. like carmy, please remember to breathe LMAOOO

2. also the current chapters are still making me wanna run up my WALLS😭i don’t think i ever know peace anymore… WHAT DO MEAN THE WORSE DAY IF THEIR LIVES IS COMING?? SAVE ME?? IM SCARED??

3. and carmy’s so sick and twisted but like me too so it’s cool😎 but in all seriousness, it reminds me of that feeling of being in a 3 person friend group but knowing there’s a duo and you’re not apart of it (am i articulating this properly?? idk??) it’s such an odd feeling to be jealous of something that you know you probably shouldn’t be. like just because they’re besties, doesn’t mean that they care for you any less. but i also get his desire to wanting to be her person and not just the little brother full in but then again, you can’t even blame him for feeling like that cause WHO WOULDN’T??

AHHH THERES SO MUCH MORE I WANNA SAY but this is getting kinda long so i will hold off‼️again, just wanna reiterate how much your writing makes me wanna ascend into the divine plane; it literally so amazingggg😫 tysm for reading this certified long ass yap session🫶🏾

Cannot define enough how much I love these yap sessions, literally always feel free to send me any and all fleeting thoughts in the brain box.

aside: new chapter uhhhh Sunday probably? Maybe tomorrow possibly? Pending how fast I am. I'm trying to get the next two chapters drafts done together so I can refine the first one with the knowledge of what's gonna happen in the second. Cause n Effect, All That.

ANYWAYS, you can be incoherent-- Just so you know-- It's my job to make sense of what's in my inbox, u don't have to work on that. BUT YES I LOVE WRITIN EM, I am slowly more and more just writing bits and pieces of my own friendships and isms into them. So, they're a delight of memories, to write about. AND VERY MUCH SO WE WERE GIRLS TOGETHER. I think that's literally a line, in delivery fees, something like 'you become girls, together' cause it's just ! regress! in a good way hehe.

I love writing Tony with the idea of a season 3 Bear-- Because it's this weird thing where she is simultaneously new and old-- And everything to her is also new and old. It's this weird fucking neo-nostalgia that's really fun to chew on. AND YES HE'S SO CREASED.

I try to put myself in the perspective of the perspective I'm writing for, with whatever, and when I was writing Carmen's chapter I was like this stupid motherfucker Richie got to do all this shit and hae all these stupid nicknames why the FUCK DO YOU WANT TO SAY HI TO HIM?? RICHIE!!!!?!?!??!?! And then reading it back now, a week or so later, I was like Wow. Kind of a lot, bro. Lets both take a step back.

2. Your fears are valid. Well. Is that what I'm supposed to say here? Hm. Here's what I'll say, I haven't gotten to the bad bad part, yet. So like, it could end up being not that bad, to you guys. To me it's bad. It's really bad. But like, maybe you're fine. ALSO 3RD OR 4TH WORST DAY I SAID-- JUST THE WORST FRIDAY. Because I had to give them Top something, I just needed to get specific.

3. As the littlest sibling, 100%. I can't see myself being friends with any of my older brothers' friends, so the idea of becoming one of their friends and posthumously finding out they were best friends with my brother? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? DID THEY TELL YOU ABOUT ME? DO YOU THINK I'M LITTLE BABY LITTLE STUPID? And it's also like, just being friends with All of The Beef is like ohhhhh, I remember it took me a long time to warm up and make my way with them, but for you it was probably so easy cause you're just like that, which is why I like you so why do I feel angry about that !!!

AND ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU THANK YOU, FEEL FREE TO YELL IN MY INBOX WHENEVER. P.s if anyone made it this far, u got me. I'm makin' a taglist. Reply/DM/Ask to be added!

But if you wanna be added,,,, you gotta send an essay in with it baby, or I simply won't it's the RULES!

p.s i really do love u so dearly for sending in your thoughts thank u thank u angel <3

[impishsensei-a]

hello all!! this is a roleplay blog for gojo satoru from jujutsu kaisen, written by milk. on my pinned post, you'll find all relevant links/info here for my blog. though i am not completely caught up with the manga (i've read up to around chapter 180), i have a general idea of what is currently going on up to the most recent chapters. if i'm not here, you can find me on one of my other blogs: @blastintriumph @muryonokansei

please be sure to read my rules before interacting/following.

carrd || interest check || pinned credit || promo, v2 || divider credit || wishlist || tags

header by @foraltruism

for ease of access, my rules are placed under the cut!

I will interact with mutuals only. If I follow you I want to interact, so don’t hesitate to send me asks or IM me with plot ideas! I’m willing to RP with OCs & characters from other series. Personal blogs, please do not follow/reblog/like my posts.

I’m okay with one-liners, crack, multi-para, novella… everything! Feel free to send in any ask memes if we haven’t roleplayed before. Ask memes are a great way to break the ice so I really don’t mind. If I follow you that means I want to rp with you so if you’re ever unsure and worried you might be bothering me, don’t. I’m duplicate friendly.

If I haven’t replied in two weeks (and I’m not on a hiatus) that means I probably lost our thread or it’s sitting somewhere in my drafts and I haven’t noticed it, so please message me to remind me about it. I won’t be annoyed or upset. I drop RPs sometimes out of a loss of interest but please don’t blame yourself. It is always a personal thing that has nothing to do with anyone else as a roleplayer. I’m always happy to start/write more regardless of dropping previous threads.

I have some ships i might gravitate to, but I prioritize chemistry above all where RP is concerned. For now, my blog is multi-ship, so any relationship my muse develops will be in a separate verse unless stated otherwise.

Don't involve me with drama or send messages telling me to reblog callout posts or anything like that. I don't care for getting involved with petty rp drama. If it's something actually serious, I've likely already seen it on the dash and have taken note. Seriously, I will hardblock anyone that pesters me with nonsense drama.

There will be NSFW content on this blog so if you’re uncomfortable with that just blacklist the the following tags, as i tag all my nsfw posts with the following: “cw nsfw”, “nsfw //”, and “( nsfw. )”. Additionally, I will cover dark topics. There will be mentions of murder, blood/gore, toxic/unhealthy relationships and so on featured on my blog. I will of course tag what I feel needs to be tagged. Feel free to ask me to tag anything you need tagged.  I am 26, so if a roleplay should ever come around to it I will only write smut with partners that are also of age & that I feel comfortable writing smut with. If you’d rather not roleplay smut publicly, I’m cool with continuing roleplays on discord. I’m also open to just private RPs (not necessarily smut) on discord too, just ask/lmk you’re interested!

Finally, I ask that minors DON’T follow my blog/DNI. I don’t want to be the reason anyone sees something inappropriate for their age. If you’re a minor & I accidentally followed you, let me know & I’ll unfollow you immediately.

[i-killed-a-prostutute]

Im so sorry for the super late response!! Im not even going to question the heat pill and how it came from pitou 💀 at least tell me reader gave consent to being mutated and it wasn't something killua just decided for her….. I totally get being a Virginia and all, it's just that your other killua fics were a lot more detailed and longer. The neko one seemed more like it was done in a hurry. Don't want this to come off as me complaining though, because I know I'D definitely feel a little disheartened if one of my requesters told me they were disappointed with my work. It was fine, really! And anyway, anyone, even the best smut writer, has room for improvement :) I really appreciate that you'll let me know if you can do my request or not, not a lot of writers do that and it's really helpful, instead of just leaving me waiting and wondering. (God knows how many of my requests have actually been made but I don't know because I stopped checking…) With that out of the way, here are my two requests! 🌸

You said you'd be fine writing more killua x neko reader. So I was thinking perhaps just general relationship headcanons, sfw and nsfw. And this time, it takes place in the hxh world where reader was BORN that way and that's not exactly weird lmao. No pituo pill 💀 same personality: shy, sweet, cute, cuddly, you know..

And for my second request, I'm not sure if this counts as a hc, I guess it does, it's basically just me asking for your thoughts on this: I've being wondering about this for a while. I didn't think it, but turns out silva and kikyo do actually love each other. So killua probably grew up seeing those expressions of "love" and thinking that's normal for a relationship. How do you think that would affect his relationship with reader? And if it isn't too much, how do you think his overall experience with his family effects it? Because I highly doubt after everything he's gone through that his relationship with the reader would be perfectly normal.

It's totally fine if you only want to do one of those, or even none. No pressure! And take all the time you need. Thanks in advance :)

PS: you said you had some ideas of your own, so feel free to write them if you feel like it. i check your account sometimes, so I won't miss your killua content. But I understand if your busy and can only write what is requested. But you haven't posted anything for 2 weeks now, so I THINK it's safe to assume you don't have or get a lot of requests. So in the meantime, you could write and post your own fics. Just an idea though! (I hope this isn't coming off as forceful...) this is already super long, sorry about that, so good night/morning/evening and I look forward to hearing from you!

You check my account sometimes 🥺🥺🥺

I really appreciate it and I was just thinking about writing another neko one, but maybe a relationship head Canon set would help me with the writing a bit.

I for sure like your suggestions, and I just like the crazy side of yandere's. A lot of my personal ones have a lot of stalking lmao.

I'll probably put out something for another character today and here in the next few days get some Killua X neko stuff in my drafts and at least one out.

Link to Superman comfort: