#this wasn’t Got Too Drunk barfing this was Put Too Much Damn Shit In My Stomach barfing

[isdalinarhot]

your health teacher is lying to you when she’s like “have a meal before drinking heavily :)” that’s just propaganda to make you barf your guts out on shot 5 whilst feeling completely sober. do you think Sadeas ever held Dalinar’s mullet back while he got sick in the back of a shady alleyway

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 9

Eminem x FemReader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : After relapsing, Y/N wakes up next to Marshall. She confronts Cassie and has an anxiety attack.

Tags : Angst, Comfort

CW : Bullying, Alcohol, Drugs, Relapse, Anxiety attack, Mention of masturbation

When you woke up, you were feeling groggy and nauseous. You groaned at the memory from last night. You felt some stirring beside you. It was Marshall, laying next to you on top of the covers. 

Hey, he said in a raspy voice. How are you feeling ? Better ? 

Mmmmh, you moaned. 

He groaned and yawned. 

How about we try some words ? He asked. How are you feeling, Y/N ? 

Ashamed, you mumbled. 

Shocker. 

You stared at him as he rubbed his eyes. You couldn’t help but think that he looked perfect, even in the morning. He was pretty damn sexy, only wearing gray sweatpants with no shirt on. He scratched his beard before looking at you. 

Did you sleep here ? You asked. 

No, I slept in the garden but decided to come back here before you woke up, he said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. Yes I slept here. I wanted to make sure you were alright. 

Thanks, you said. You could have slept in your bedroom, you know ? Instead of here with me. 

And risk finding you dead in a puddle of your own barf ? Nope, he groaned. I don’t feel like having forensics in the house on a Sunday morning. The press would have a field day, though. 

Oh my God, the press…, you murmured as you remembered the flashing camera from last night. 

I called Paul after you fell asleep, he said. He’s going to try and get the picture deleted. He gave me so much shit about it. 

I’m sorry, you whispered as you took your face in your hands. 

You were embarrassed. There was so much that you needed to apologize for. 

It’s fine, he shrugged. It’s Paul anyway. He gives me shit all the time. That’s kind of his job, you know ? 

I’m so sorry I ruined your night… 

You didn’t, he said in a softer voice. I mean, I could have done without the worry, for sure, but my night pretty much sucked anyway. 

Why ? You asked. 

I hate that kind of events, he shrugged. I was there because the Lions PR Team wanted me to do some promo shit. I was supposed to meet someone there to talk about that but I ended up swarmed by drunk people bugging me about the album. And then, I had to take some ho to my place, he chuckled.

God, I am so embarrassed, you whined. 

About what part exactly ? He grinned. 

All of it ? You said. I mean, you had to help my grown-ass to undress and shower and you held my hair while I threw up. That’s pretty damn embarrassing. 

He chuckled and looked at you. 

Yup, he simply said. 

I’d say the outfit and kissing people was pretty embarrassing, too. And… Oh my God I danced, too, you whined. 

Oh yeah. That was some dancing, he grinned. 

Just kill me, please, you whined. 

He let out a laugh as you buried your face in your hands. Suddenly, the idea of digging a hole and dying there was quite appealing.

It’s fine, he said with a chuckle. I mean, you got some good moves. Didn’t expect you to, to be honest. 

Yeah, I don’t know about that… 

It wasn’t that bad, I promise. You put on quite a show on the dance floor. 

God, I made a fool of myself, you sighed. 

I don’t think you did, he said earnestly. Everyone there was doing the same thing anyway… But yeah, that was a bit foolish. I mean, it’s just not you, Y/N. 

You nodded softly. 

I don’t deserve you being so nice to me, you sighed. 

Me being an ass to you wouldn’t help matters, he shrugged. Besides, you already know what you did wrong. You’re a grown woman. 

I thought you were going to kill me, back there, you whispered. 

Dramatic, much ? He chuckled. I mean, yeah, I wasn’t really pleased with you. I was mostly worried, though… 

Mmmh. 

I thought you were doing good, you know ? He explained. You were sober for, what… Four months ? 

Yeah, going on five, you said with a hint of sadness. And now I threw it all away…

Slipping… it happens, he said. What matters is that you’re able to dust yourself off and try again. 

Easy for you to say, you mumbled. You’ve been sober for fifteen years. 

He scoffed and shook his head. 

You’re not the only person it happens to, you know ? He sighed. I’ve tried to quit a few times before I managed to stop for good. I’ve slipped-up and relapsed a few times. Even after rehab. 

You did ? You asked. 

Yeah. So I’ve been there and I know how you feel. I just wish I would have known you were struggling, he said. 

I wasn’t struggling, you said. I mean… There were times lately, when I missed drinking, but that’s about it. I think that… I have been feeling a bit lonely, mostly. 

You didn’t tell me that, he pointed out. 

Does it matter ? 

Of course it does, he said softly. You matter. 

You let out a small “aw” and blushed. He sat up and stroked your shoulder. 

So, what happened last night that led you to this ? Walk me through it, ok ? 

You sighed and proceeded to tell him everything. How happy you were to see Cassie, how generous and kind she was to you and how much you didn’t want to disappoint her or let her down. How her calling you a dud made you want to gain her approval so badly. You also mentioned that, regardless of the fact that you had messed up, you looked up to her and you wished you could be more like her but only seemed to get as sociable when you were under the influence. 

This girl is a bully, he scoffed. 

No she’s not, you replied. 

That’s high school mean girl 101, Y/N, he said. You do realize she used you as a prop, right ? She played with you like a doll, she dressed you up in that skimpy outfit, ignored you when she wanted to flirt with people and used you to arouse men, either by kissing you or suggesting threesomes…

Well, if you put it like that, it does make her look pretty bad, you mumbled. But she’s my friend ! 

She's not, he groaned. Talia is your friend. Jamal is your friend. I am your friend. This girl ? Nope. 

You sighed. Maybe he was right on some level, but you didn’t want to hear it. After all, Cassie had been there for you numerous times. 

Well, I have to see her today, you said. I still have stuff in her hotel room. 

I’ll take you, he offered. But first, we should discuss what you’re going to do. 

That’s fair. What am I going to do ? 

First, you’re going to tell Talia and Jamal as soon as I take you home. They’re your roommates and they deserve to know that kind of thing. Lying about it would be a shitty idea anyway, he said. 

Talia’s going to kill me, you said. 

She’s not, he said softly. Then, first thing tomorrow, you’re going to a meeting and calling your sponsor. 

Meetings are on wednesday, you said. 

I’ll get you an appointment with a therapist, then. You need to see someone. The earlier the better. If today wasn’t Sunday, you’d be there already. 

You nodded, but tears were welling in your eyes. 

I can’t do it, you said as you choked on your words. Marshall, I just… I can’t. I can’t face people and tell them I fucked up. 

Hey, he said softly as he took your hand in his. Yes you can, and you will. Shit happens. Do you remember what I said when I took you to the observatory ? 

That I’m not alone ? 

Exactly. Your road to recovery doesn’t have to be a lonely one, he reminded you as he stroked your cheek. I got you. So do Talia and Jamal. The others at the studio too. They love you. 

They do ? You asked. 

Yeah. Everyone thinks you’re great. They keep going on about how cute you are. Especially when you fall asleep on the couch, he chuckled. 

Thank you, you whispered as you let your head roll on his shoulder. I love them too, you know ? 

He kissed the top of your head and decided to get up. 

Get up, Dobby, I’ll make you breakfast, he said. 

Are you really going to call me that ? You groaned before letting out a yawn. 

Yep, he said with a smile. You were right, you do look like a house elf in my tee-shirt. 

I wouldn’t have pegged you as a Harry Potter fan, you said with a grin. 

My youngest was obsessed with the movies and books for a while, he chuckled. She’d be so proud of me right now. Anyway, breakfast in ten minutes, ok ? 

You nodded and took some time to stretch as he walked towards the door. 

Oh, and, Dobby ? You’re much hotter in my clothes than in last night’s dress, he added with a wink. 

He left the room and you were speechless. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks. 

Have you seen my phone ? You asked Marshall when you walked in the kitchen to the smell of pancakes. 

No idea about your phone, but your purse is on the table, he said. 

You grabbed your phone, that was inside your handbag and checked your phone. You had about fifty notifications. Had you been sleeping that long ? Had the world ended without you knowing ? Was someone dead ?

From : Unknown. “Hey. It’s Jared. Loved meeting you tonight. When are you free for dinner ?”

From : Talia. “Is that really you in the picture with Em ???” 

From : Talia. “Hand holding and stuff ?!?! What is happening ??? I thought you were with Cassie ???” 

From : Talia. “CALL. ME. BACK. I need to knoooooow !!!” 

From : Talia. “If you call me back I promise I will let the questionable outfit slide. We need to talk about your fashion sense tho…”

From : Talia. “I know the two of you are probably busy right now, but call me back when you can ??? I hope he is ravishing the shit out of you right now :)”

From : Unknown. “I just saw the pictures online. I didn’t realize you were with Em ! Sorry I suggested that date. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful at all…!” 

It didn’t take too long to figure out the photos had been published. You quickly went online and saw a bunch of headlines. You also received messages from people you hadn’t seen in a long time. It was as if, suddenly, they remembered you. You knew it was no coincidence.You clicked on an article titled “Eminem in love ?!”. 

“Eminem is known to be somewhat of a recluse and very private about his personal life, but he was spotted leaving a fancy fundraising event in Detroit yesterday night, holding hands with an unknown woman. No smile on his face, as usual, but his jacket on her shoulder and the hand-holding says it all ! The rapper was reportedly holding her tightly and keeping her close when they exited the party and hopped in a car, accompanied by his bodyguards. The news has fans in a frenzy and desperate for details. We do not know the name of the woman, who wore a stunning Sandro dress and Jimmy Choo accessories (no doubt gifted by her wealthy beau). It is the first time the Rap God was spotted with a woman since his divorce from ex-wife Kim, with whom he shares three children.”

Fuck, you mumbled under your breath. 

What’s wrong ? He asked as he placed a plate in front of you. 

You gave him your phone. He took a minute to read the article and groaned. 

Guess Paul was too late, he mumbled. I’m sorry about that, Y/N. 

I’m sorry, you said sheepishly. 

I don’t care, he said. I mean, I’m used to dating rumors, you know ? It just sucks for you… 

Well… My phone is buzzing with people congratulating me, you giggled. And at least I don’t look wasted on the pics. Although I think it just cost me a date. 

What date ? He asked suspiciously.

A guy named Jared asked me out yesterday, you explained. He’s a football player. 

Jared Goff ? The Lions quarterback ?! 

Yeah, him. Anyway, he just texted and apologized for asking me on a date and hitting on me, you said. 

Sorry for accidentally cockblocking you, he chuckled.

Maybe that’s karma ? You said with a shy smile. Anyway, I don’t think I would have said yes. I wasn’t really myself last night, after all. Poor guy would have been disappointed

He chuckled and you ate breakfast. 

You know, maybe it’s for the best, he commented between bites. Maybe you should hold back on the dating thing. You’re going to have to focus on recovery anyway. 

I guess, you groaned. That’s unfair though. 

How so ? He asked. 

I can’t get drunk, I can’t take pills, I can’t even smoke a fucking cigarette and now I can’t get laid ?! You blurted out. 

You could tell he wasn’t expecting that statement, as he almost spilled his orange juice. 

Classy, he grinned. 

I’m serious, though, you pouted. I’m feeling lonely. I want affection. I want hugs…

He smiled as he put an arm around your shoulders. 

That’s easily remedied, he said softly.

… and I want sex,you continued. 

Aaaand we’re done, he chuckled as he let go of you. 

How did you do it ? You asked. How did you manage to stay abstinent ? Also, when did you start dating again ? 

You’re 27, for God’s sake, do I really have to explain to you how masturbation works, Y/N ? He groaned as your face reddened. 

But it’s not the same, though, you said. I want contact, I want intimacy. Maybe I should get a friend with benefits…

Right, he chortled. Good luck with that. 

You don’t think I could get one ?! You asked in an offended tone. 

Oh, believe me, after the show you put on last night, I know you could get absolutely anyone, he chuckled. But a lot of people seem to think you are spoken for, now. By yours truly, no less. 

Until you put out a statement, that is, you replied. 

Yeah, I’m not doing that. 

What ?! You asked in disbelief. 

A statement will get people talking. Saying nothing and waiting for the thing to die out is probably the best option, he explained. Besides, I wouldn’t be offended if people thought I was with you. I don’t really mind, to be honest. 

So, you’re not worried that it would cockblock you ? 

Nope. If anything, people might be leaving me alone on the subject for a while. I’m not really into dating anyway, he shrugged. 

Are you some sort of asexual hermit monk ? you asked teasingly. 

I think we’ve established that I’m not, he said with a smirk. Unlike some people, though, I know how to keep it in my pants. 

Oh, I can keep it in my pants, you said as you rolled your eyes. I just don’t really want to. 

Right, he chortled. 

Anyway, do you know if Porter is seeing anyone ?  

He froze as you asked the question and dropped the glass he had in hand, causing it to shatter on the floor. 

Shit, he groaned. You’re not serious right ?!

Relax, I’m joking, you giggled. You should see your face, though. It’s hilarious. 

You’re impossible, he said, rolling his eyes. 

You chuckled and helped him clear the glass pieces on the floor. 

Anyway, I get how you’re feeling. But just be careful, ok ? You need to be safe and healthy. That should come first. Not your sexual urges. To answer your question, I didn’t date for a couple of years after getting sober. I just focused on my family and music. Also, I have found that exercising really gets your mind off… You know, he said with a grin. 

I’ll keep that in mind, you chuckled. 

And if you need hugs, I’m here, he said with a smile. Just hugs though. 

You giggled and gave him a peck on the cheek. 

Thanks for being so amazing, you said. Thank you for being here. 

Anything for you, Dobby, he chuckled. 

Anything ? you smirked. Really ? 

Oh, man… Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this ? He sighed with a grin. 

Well, I do look amazing in that Saint Laurent jacket…, you began. I mean, the pictures in the article prove it. 

Not happening, nope, he said as he shook his head. 

Can’t blame a girl for trying, you giggled. Your closet is full of great pieces. 

I’ll tell you what, he said with a smile, if you’re good and put in some work towards your recovery, I might let you borrow some stuff. 

Really ? You squealed. Even the jacket ?

Yeah. Even the jacket. For every sobriety milestone, you get to borrow a thing for my closet. Except for my sneakers and a few pieces of jewelry. The rest is fair game, he said. 

I’m going to crush recovery, you said cockily. 

Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dobby, he chuckled. You need to stick to therapy, go to meetings, and mostly, you have to call me or anyone else before you fuck up. Not after. Understood ? 

Yes, sir, you giggled. Totally unrelated, but is 10 hours sober a milestone ? 

Go and take a shower and get dressed, he said as he shook his head. I think I have the clothes you left here last time around there somewhere. Then, I’ll take you to the hotel, ok ? 

An hour later, you knocked at the door of Cassie’s hotel room. Marshall was waiting for you in the parking lot. He offered to go up with you, but you figured that you needed to have a talk with your friend, one on one. As much as you didn’t want to believe what Marshall was telling you about her using you, you wanted things to be clear. 

Hey chérie, she said with a smile as she opened the door and let you into the suite. Last night was sooo fun. I do have a bit of a hangover, though. 

Oh yeah ? You asked awkwardly. 

A guy I met took me to an afterparty, she explained. I ended up coming back here in the morning with a couple of people. They just left. 

Oh, did you…? 

Yes, we fucked, she giggled. 

Speaking of which… Can I talk to you ? 

Of course, she shrugged. 

You sat on the couch and your anxiety levels started to rise. You didn’t quite know where to begin. 

What, you mean to tell me that you got laid by Eminem last night ? she chuckled. 

W-What ?! No, absolutely not, you said. 

Relax, she said. I saw the pictures online, but I figured nothing happened. If that’s any comfort, I don’t think anyone is going to believe it anyway. No offense but… You couldn’t get someone like that. 

You furrowed your eyebrows. Was your friend seriously implying that you weren’t good enough for Marshall ?! You sort of knew that already, but it stung. 

What do you mean by that, Cass ? 

What ? Just the truth, Baby, she shrugged. Men like that, they like beautiful, interesting girls. Not that you don’t look good, but… You’re sort of plain, you know ? You see what I mean, don’t you ? 

I don’t, you said. 

Whatever, she said. I just think you’re not the type to hang out with someone like that. Even as a friend, you know ? I didn’t mean to hurt you. You know that. I’m just being honest here. I’m your friend. 

Is that why you basically dragged me into a threesome with him ? Because we’re friends ? 

Oh God, you really haven’t changed, have you ? she asked with a laugh. 

You bit your lip. 

Seriously, you were always so sensitive, Ms Goody Two Shoes. I flirted, it was a joke, alright ? We had kissed earlier because you were being initiating. You’re the one who told me you were horny, remember ? I don’t see what the big deal is. Nothing happened. Even if it did… You would have had a great experience, she said as she rolled her eyes. 

I wasn’t initiating, you muttered. 

You said you were horny, she pointed out. 

Only because of the stuff you gave me, you squealed. 

I gave you this because I knew you wouldn’t have a great time otherwise, Y/N. And guess what ? You had a great time. You danced, you flirted…You were finally acting normal. 

I was drunk. 

What’s the big deal ? She sighed. It happens to everyone. You were drunk, so what ? No one died. 

I just… What I mean to say is… I don’t feel comfortable with what happened last night. It doesn’t sit well with me. It’s not who I am, you know ? You tried to explain, while keeping your composure. 

Maybe you should ask yourself the right questions, Y/N, she scoffed. 

Meaning ? 

Is this really who you want to be ? A 27 year-old dork who is still in school, single, living with two roommates, with a sad social life ? You could do so much better with your life. 

In this instant, she managed to break your heart. Recovery and yesterday’s fuck-up aside, you were pretty proud of who you were. Granted, you didn’t have a lot of friends, a boyfriend or a glamorous job. You weren’t a homeowner either. But you always thought you were doing pretty well, especially considering the hand you had been dealt. 

Is it what you think ? You asked as your voice broke. That I’m not good enough ? 

I didn’t say that, she defended herself. 

I thought you were my friend, you muttered. 

I am your friend, Y/N. I want you to thrive, she shrugged. You should be thanking me. Honestly, do you have a lot of people in your life who want the best for you ? 

I do, you said, feeling extremely defensive. I have Talia and Jamal, I have Marshall… 

For how long though ? she asked. 

What do you mean ? 

I’m just thinking that, if you weren’t such a dud, maybe you’d have more people around you, you know ? You’d have more friends. People you meet would stick around. You’d have a boyfriend. Hell, maybe Simon wouldn’t have left you. 

You swallowed dryly and got up. You decided this was your cue to leave. 

I can’t take this anymore. Goodbye, Cassie, you said as you grabbed your things before exiting the room. 

Y/N, wait… 

Tears were streaming down your cheeks when you got to the parking lot. As he saw you come, Marshall immediately got out of the car and engulfed you in a hug. 

What’s wrong? He asked. 

I’m fine, you lied with a breaking voice. 

Bullshit, he sighed. You’re crying. What happened ?

You didn’t talk. Instead, you simply looked in his eyes. As you stared at him, you were reminded of Cassie’s words. “For how long ?”. Suddenly, something hit you and you felt scared. You realized that you were playing a dangerous game. In a matter of months, he had become a constant in your life. Most of the time, not a week went by without you seeing him at least twice. You texted all the time, whether it was to talk about your day or simply to exchange silly jokes. He was always there for you but, as thankful as you were, you were scared of the day he wouldn’t be around anymore. It would come eventually. Maybe Cassie was right. Maybe there was something about you that made people want to leave. And, let’s face it, she was definitely onto something when she said that girls like you usually aren’t interesting enough for people like him. He walked into your life unexpectedly, but you feared the moment he would walk out. He kept on gazing at you, waiting for you to talk, but you couldn’t. 

Talk to me, he said softly. 

I have to go, you whispered. 

Go where ? I don’t understand, Y/N. 

You took a step back and muttered an apology before starting to walk out of the parking lot. At that moment, nothing made sense anymore. You realized that maybe you had been wrong all along. Maybe you were in fact a 27 year-old failure. If so, why bother people ? They would be better off without you, right ? Hell, it wasn’t just about Marshall. It was about all your friends. Maybe you should do them a favor and leave them be. 

You were still wearing your heels from last night, as you obviously didn’t have any spare pair of shoes at Marshall’s place and had not taken the time to change since retrieving your stuff from the hotel room. Your feet hurt but you kept on walking.

Y/N, Marshall called as he followed you. 

Please leave me alone, you said. 

I’m not leaving you alone when you’re crying and just had a slipping episode, he said as he grabbed your arm. Just come with me, ok ? We’ll talk. 

Get away from me !!!! You yelled as you pushed him. 

He looked at you, taken aback. It was the first time you yelled at him and you could tell he was not expecting it. His eyes were full of questions. But what exactly could you say that would actually make sense ? 

I’m sorry, you whispered. I just… I have to… 

You were panting and slurring your words. It was all too much. The only thing you wanted was to get out of here, but as seconds went by, it was clear that your body would not cooperate. You felt a pain in your chest and your heart was pounding. Despite your attempt to move, you were unable to. To make things worse, your eyes were wide open but you couldn’t quite see. It was all a blur. You were feeling trapped. You were on the floor, your hand on your chest. 

Y/N, Marshall said in a soft yet alarmed voice. You need to breathe, ok ? 

I… C-can’t, you stuttered. 

Yes, you can, he reassured you. I’ll help you. I’m going to touch your hand. Is that alright ? 

You tried to nod, to the best of your ability, but your body felt so stiff that you weren’t sure if Marshall could see your reaction or not. Regardless, he got closer and gently took your hand in his before placing it on his chest. You could feel his heartbeat. 

Now, you’re going to try and inhale through your nose and take in as much air as you can, ok ? Can you do that for me ? 

I…

Don’t speak for now. Just inhale. As deep as you can, he directed. And then, exhale slowly. 

Your first tentative attempt to breathe deeply was a complete failure. You thought you were going to end up choking. Yet, after a while, you managed to breathe a bit more normally, slowly. Your hand was against Marshall’s chest, his own breath guiding yours. One of his hands was on your back, gently holding you. 

That’s it. You’re doing so good, Y/N, he encouraged you. 

Mar…, you began. 

Shhh. Just keep breathing for now, ok ? 

As minutes went by, you were shivering, but thankfully, you were breathing properly. 

You’re safe, he said gently. It may not feel like this right now, but I promise. I got you. 

You closed your eyes as he wiped the tears from your cheeks. You stayed like this for a while, unable to tell if it was seconds or hours. Eventually, you came back to your senses. 

Do you feel better ? He asked. 

Yes, you whispered. I’m so sorry. 

What the hell are you apologizing for ? He chuckled. Having a panic attack ? Yeah, you better apologize for things that are out of your control… 

You let out a small, exhausted laugh. He kissed the top of your head and you went back to the car. Your body was stiff and tense. 

Let’s get you home now, he said gently as he started driving. You need some rest. 

Can we… not ? You asked anxiously. 

What’s wrong, Y/N ? He asked. 

I don’t know, you replied. I just…

If you’d had any tears left, you would have cried. Instead, you just choked on your words. You took a breath and tried to speak more clearly. 

I don’t want to face them, you explained. Especially Talia. I can’t disappoint her like this, you know ? 

They’re your friends, he said. Sure, once you come clean about what happened and the fact that you used again, they won’t be too pleased. But you’ll be fine. Because they love you and they care about you. 

For how long, though ? You blurted out. 

What ? 

They would be better off without me. Everyone would be better off without me, you said. I’m a failure. I stall people. Who wants that ? 

You’re only saying that because you slipped and you’re tired, he replied as he shook his head. Is that what your friend told you ? Of all people, I don’t think she is the one you should listen to. 

No, I figured that myself, you said. But as much as I am mad at Cassie right now… She got a few things right. 

Oh yeah ? About what ? He scoffed. 

I’m a failure, you simply said. 

That’s not true.

No, Marshall, you don’t understand ! She said I'm a 27 year-old dork who is still in school, single, living with two roommates with a sad social life. That is absolutely true. She also said that… It doesn’t make sense why someone like you would hang out with… someone like me. She’s not wrong about that either. 

He shook his head and scoffed. 

I hang out with you because I like you, Y/N, he said. And because of everything else she said. 

What do you mean ? You asked with a confused look. 

Let’s dissect, ok ? You’re 27. That’s a fact. I don’t have to have an opinion about it. Same goes for the single thing. As for the rest… I think it’s great that you are still in school. It shows that you are driven and that you are full of ambition. You’re getting a fucking PhD, for God’s sake. Not a lot of people can do that, you know ? You’re the smartest person I know. Most of the time, when you talk about your work, I don’t understand a word of what you’re saying. But I see how passionate you are, and it’s fucking inspiring. And you are a dork. But  it’s fucking great. I love that about you. I think that’s the cutest and funniest thing ever. I’m a dork too. There’s nothing wrong with that. And you do have friends. You have us. You have me. You might not be the most sociable person I know. That’s true. But that’s fine. I like that you’re not the loud type anyway. And it’s cool that you live with Talia and Jamal. I’d even go so far as to say that I like it, because otherwise… I wouldn’t have met you, you know what I’m saying ? 

You stared at him and nodded. 

Don’t let her get into your head, he continued. You’re absolutely amazing. There isn’t a thing I would change about you. Meeting you is the greatest thing that’s happened to me in the past year. You’re a ray of sunshine. Every time you walk in the studio, you make everyone’s day better, just by being you. You make those silly jokes, you put up with us and, most importantly, you get us. You’re not one of those groupies who think of us as stereotypes. Especially me. You’re so genuine, it’s refreshing. So don’t let anyone change that. You are exceptional. You are brave, strong, and beautiful, inside and out. 

You couldn’t help but think it was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever told you. Sure, you’d received compliments before, but never to this extent. Hell, none of the people you had dated had never made such a declaration. You could tell by the look on his face that he meant every word he had just said. 

I’m scared to lose my friends, you finally said in an emotional voice. Especially you. 

You’re not losing anyone, Y/N. Especially me, he chuckled as he brushed your face with his hand. Don’t you worry about that. You’re pretty much stuck with me. 

You giggled softly before curling on the car seat and watching him for the rest of the drive. You felt comforted, grounded by his presence. It was a good thing, too, because you weren’t too sure how the conversation with Talia and Jamal would turn out.

[mrsmbarnes]

First Time

Parings: Buckyxreader

Summary: Your first time with Bucky

Warnings: Fluff and Smut

I have decided not to drink but having the evening that I just had, a drink was warranted.  The boys had been fighting, arguing over something inconsequential, which turned into a, mine is bigger than yours contest.  It was infuriating listening to them, in a drunken stupor, talking over the same points and getting nowhere.  Stark’s parties always ended like this and I would normally disappear somewhere at the beginning of the arguing to some small corner to read.  Unfortunately I was squished in-between Thor and Steve, and if I got up to leave it would be all too noticeable.  So instead I decided to get up and get myself a drink.  Drinking doesn’t normally go well for me but I couldn’t handle listening to the any longer.   

“Hey Y/N,  you mind tossing me a beer,” Bucky shouted at you over the heated debate.

“Why don’t you come and get it yourself, I’m not a fucking waitress,” I call back

He makes his way over to the bar giving me a longing glance.  I knew Steve was his best friend but I was a close second.  When ever they fought like this I turned into a bitch, taking out my frustrations on anyone who bothered to speak to me.

“Damn, doll, I’m sorry I offended you,” he said grabbing a beer.  I grabbed a shot glass and poured my self a shot.  It burned sliding down my throat but I could feel the heat warming me into a better mood.  

“I’m sorry I’m not mad at you, its just when these idiots get going about absolutely nothing it just really pisses me off.”

He reaches over me to grab a napkin, and I can feel the weight of his member from inside his jeans on my leg.

“They’re all idiots, but just promise me you won’t drink too much.”

“Sure thing,” I say sarcastically.  I watch him walk back over to the rest of the company.  This evening he had dawned jeans and a button up with the sleeves rolled up revealing his bulging forearms.  Whenever he was in public he would normally wear long sleeves to cover his metal arm, but when he was with us he did’t mind to roll them up.  As the evening wore on, I took several more shots, becoming more loose.  The boys had finally started to calm down and people where heading home for the evening.  

“Somebody needs to get her home,” said Stark.  

“I’m not drunk, bitch.  I can get myself home,” I said in confidence.  I stood from the barstool I had been planted in and the second I stepped away, I went towering towards the ground.  Several strong hands swooped in to catch my but by the end, I was in Bucky’s arms.

“I’ll put her in a cab and make sure she makes it home.”

“And then where going to have sex” I say, far too drunk to be embarrassed. Bucky on the other hand was the deepest shade of red I had ever seen him.

“Yeah, Barnes take the girl home,” said Thor with a wink.  

“Here on Earth we don’t usually take girls unable to to stand home with us,” says Tony with a grin.  

“I’m just going to drop her off and then someone else can go check on her in the morning” says Bucky.  I burry my face into his neck and smell his hair.  

Next thing I know we are in a cab heading towards my apartment.  I don’t remember getting to the cab but now that we are in there I’m feeling really queasy.  I’m laying with my head in Bucky’s lap.

“Bucky, I need you to get him to stop the cab, like now” I say in a panicked tone.  The cab stops but not before I barf out the open side door and all down Bucky’s pant leg.  

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” I mutter finally able to feel embarrassed, but not before I can puke again.  Bucky just patiently holds my hair back and redirects the cab to his address.  When we arrive, he scoops me up and carries me inside.  He places me gently on the couch and goes to the bathroom.  He brings me the wastebasket and goes to get me a glass of water.  Then he leaves me to go to shower and clean himself off.  I’m starting to feel better so I go to his room looking for a t-shirt or something I can wear.  When I nudge to door open, Bucky whips around in his towel.  

“Oh, sorry, I thought you where still in the shower,” I say turning around.  

“It’s ok, do you need something?”  He asks sounding slightly amused at my embarrassment.

“I was just looking for a t-shirt to wear, my dress got dirty.”

“Here,” you turn back around as he hands me a shirt and I realize that he hasn’t made an effort to cover himself.   My heart is pounding so loud that I’m sure he can hear it.  Beads of water are bounding down his chest from his damp hair and I realize how much I want to reach out and tough him, how I much I want him to touch me.  So I stand there hoping and praying he will bridge the gap between us and take me. 

“I can’t get the zipper on my own, can you help me?” I whisper, prompting him to walk towards me.  As he reaches for my zipper I can feel his cock resting against my backside, remembering how it had felt in his jeans earlier this evening.  The cool metal of his fingers wrestling with my zipper made my breathing speed up.  

“Thanks,” I get out in a breathy sigh.  He moves to put his lips on my neck kissing me softly.  I turn around to face him as he continues to kiss my neck.  

“We shouldn’t do this,” I say quietly.  “I mean, I can’t do this.”

“Its ok,” he say pulling way.  “If you don’t want to we don’t have to” he says with disappointment in his eyes.  He’s so gentle with me not knowing what he did wrong, or why I don’t want to. 

“It’s not that I don’t, want to, it just that I don’t know how” I say looking at the ground.  I had never been with a man before but I knew if there was a man I wanted to be with, it was James Buchanan Barnes.

“What do you mean, you don’t know how too?” He asked.  

I kept my eyes on the ground, but he grabbed my chin and lifted it gently to meet his eyes.

“You’ve never had sex before?  Like never ever?” He said catching on. 

“No, I just haven’t met the right person.” I say almost in audibly.  

“I don’t know if I’m the right person…” he trails off, suddenly becoming insecure. He never felt like he could be worthy of anyones love after all of the stuff he had done as the Winter Soldier, but he was just a man.  Now it was my turn to be brave and make him feel like he is was my whole world and like every moment with him made my heart ache and long for more.

“I know you are the right person, or I wouldn’t be doing this,” I say taking his hand, leading him to the edge of the bed.  I slowly reached down to pull my dress off revealing my black underwear and bra.  The he reached over taking my face in his hands and kissed me.  It started as a sweet and gentle kissing but it turning hot and breathless.  He put his metal hand on my back, laying me down in the bead.  The cool metal against my hot skin sent a shiver down my spine.  He gently grabbed the band of my bra and unhooked it leaving me completely exposed.  He sat up taking in the sight if me.

“You’re gorgeous doll” he’s says, before he takes one of my breasts in his hand. 

 A tingling of desire runs through out me as he continues to kiss me while massaging my breasts.  He kisses me on my mouth then trails a kiss down my neck then on to my nipple, sucking and teasing.  The continues to kiss me down my stomach, stopping at my panties.  The rest of me no longer exists, only the places he has kissed me.

“Is it ok if it keep going?” He asks

“Oh, I’m think I’m ready” I prompt him on.  He hooks his thumbs around the band of my panties, pulling them down slowly.  

“Wait,” I say, having him stop.  He brings his head to rest on mine and I stare into his ice blue eyes.  Im already panting so hard in anticipation and I nod, giving him the go ahead.

“I trust you” I say as he reaches his hand down.  I’m already so wet just waiting for him.  He slides one finger in making me gasp.  He moves his finger over my clits slowly while pumping his finger in and out.  He keeps on while kissing me in rushed sloppy jolts.  He ads another finger making me yell his name.  

“Can I have a turn,”  he asks removing his fingers and offering up himself. 

“Yes, yes, yes” I pant out waiting for him to be inside me.  He throws off his towel and grabs my hand.  He places my hand on his hard cock, having me stroke it.  Honestly the only thing running through my head is, “how is something that large going to fit in me.”  He spreads my legs, kissing me on the thigh as he does.  My legs are quaking and my stomach is notting with nerves.  He lines him self with my entrance and the locks eyes with.

“This might be a little uncomfortable at first but if I’m hurting you, you stop me, alright” he says. 

“I trust you”. I say intertwining my fingers in his.  He kisses me and the pushes forward.  At fist he doest move in very far but having him just staying in one position is killing me.

“You’ve got to move,” I say and then he starts to fall into a rhythm.  It’s slow at first, with him being carful not to hurt me.

“God, you’re so tight.  You feel so good.”  He takes his metal hand and starts to finger your clit.  The cold in sensation with the hurt has you screaming his name.

“Damn, Bucky, keep going.”  I pant.  He speeds up and I can feel it coming on.  

“Are you going to cum?” He asks.  All I can do is nod.  My hands are holding on so tight to his shoulders that I think I might bruise them.  I orgasm as he thrust into me, and now I know that is it my turn to get him there.  I let him keep thrusting into me.

“I’m almost there, I’m going to cum inside you.”  I lace my fingers into his and he keeps going, filling every bit of me.

“Shit, Y/N,” he says as he fills you. I bite down onto his shoulder.  We lay there intertwined for what feels like forever.  Then slowly he pulls out of me and rolls onto the bed.  Silently he gets up and goes into the bathroom. He comes back silently with a washcloth and gently cleans me up.  He does this all so quietly that I start to get nervous.  I sat up. 

“Hey I understand if it wasn’t as good for you as it was for me…” I started trailing off as I looked at the ground. 

Bucky kneels down before me making me look at him, making me acknowledge him.  

“Trust me doll, it was good for me.  It was so good for me I’d like to do it again, with the super soldier serum, I’m good to go for a couple of rounds,” he says with a chuckle in his throat. 

A tear slowly leaks down my cheek, and he take his thumb and wipes it away.  

“We don’t have to do it again if you don’t want to,” he says trying to reassure you.

“No it’s not that, I just never thought we would get to this point. I’ve loved you for a long time and I didn’t think you would ever love me like this,” I say as more tears fall on my lap.

“Well hell doll if I had known that you had loved me, I would have taken you to bed long ago,” he say taking my face in his hands and kissing me once again. He pulls away.

“I guess I’ll have to thank the guys for making you spill you guts, both literally and metaphorically,” he says as he laughs into your kiss.

“Well I am new to this, but I think I’m ready for another round,” I say.

“Thank God doll because I love you”

[cupidsmusings]

The Affair that Never Happened

Description: It was here third and final and final year at Seishun High School. A year that was coveted by most and looked back on with cherished memories. For this particular student though, she found herself in a peculiar situation that set a catalyst for things to come.

Rating: PG-13

Series: The Affair That Never Happened

Chapter 4: The Formation of a Plan

Couples: Eventual reader x Shinichi, unrequited reader x Chiharu

Author’s note: I know the chapter title isn’t interesting but I tried my best ;.;

   When her alarm blared sharply in the silence of her room she was jostled from her sleep. Groggy and confused she felt around for her phone and without opening up her eyes she found the annoying device. With a few flimsy clicks of trial and error, she finally managed to press snooze. With a soft sigh, she snuggled deep into her sheets and cocooned herself inside their warmth. Drifting off back to sleep she made a mental note to definitely wake up the next time her alarm went off. It was too bad that she made that promise three more times before she decided to peel the covers off of herself and make an effort to get ready.

   Once dressed she stared at herself in the mirror that hung on her bedroom door. Thankfully there were no bags under her eyes that indicated her lack of sleep and her complexion was as it had always been. It was a good thing she looked normal because the bizarre events of the night before made her feel at a little of a loss. It was equal parts amusing, stressful, and confusing. She sure played it like a cool cucumber when he walked in on her while she was bathing. BATHING! How was she supposed to face him today? Hopefully, he’d have been too drunk to even remember what happened the night before.

   As she looked at her reflection she caught sight of the clock reflected in it as well. Noting the time she walked over to the box at the edge of her bed and scooped out a breakfast bar. Sometimes she’d go without breakfast, but when she was feeling particularly peckish but wanted to use as much time as she could to sleep in she would eat one of the many breakfast bars she had. Many people would urge her to wake up and have breakfast with them but it was either wake up at the ungodly hour of 6 or try and make it there and eat within a time-frame before seven, or whenever breakfast actually ended.

   The only good thing that brought a smile to her face was imagining Kagari-sensei’s face when he woke up in a room that was a mix of pastels and yellows. The smile widened at the thought that he would look behind him and take a horrified gander at the backdrop of the bed. Perhaps it wouldn’t even be of dread. Wouldn’t it be a riot if that stuff turned that fickle robot on? That idea in and of itself had her laughing. With her mood brightened by that vivid imagination, she exited her room and finished the breakfast bar before she even made it to her classroom.

   Upon entering the classroom her troubled thoughts melted away when she was greeted by Chiharu. Ah, today was going to be good. She was greeted right away by the boy she loved, so that MUST mean that it would only go uphill from there, right? Right?

   “Can I talk to you for a bit? It’s about your math tutoring.” Before she could even respond he took her by her forearm and dragged her out of the classroom and into the semi-empty hallway.

   “Can you not tutor me anymore or something?” She asked despite all her focus being directed to the warmth his palm radiated.

   Oh listen to her, she sounded like a love-struck school girl. She never thought she’d sound like such a thing! With a dopey smile, she wasn’t able to get rid of, not that she wanted to even if she could, she followed him until they reached a small area where no other students could hear them. Despite this Chiharu began to whisper.

   “What were you doing out so late last night?” He asked her with furrowed brows.

   Oh, he sure was adorable wasn’t he? Wait. No! He saw her? When did he see her? When she snuck out or when she snuck in?

   “I just wanted to let off some steam.” She explained. “So I met up with a friend and we hung out. I ended up falling asleep so I stayed out later than I wanted to. I promise I wasn’t planning on staying out that late. Besides I was safe as can be. See, I’m all good.”

   To emphasize her statement she moved her arms about at her sides. Chiharu did not look amused. It felt good that he worried about her, a bit too good if she was being honest with herself. The little green monster inside her that had been silently stewing in the fact that he had begun to date someone else, and a teacher none-the-less, sucked up all the attention that he gave her. It caused her to feel special but she didn’t know why. It was hard to describe really. She was aware that he was dating someone, but it felt nice that he was putting his concern in her well-being rather than his older, prettier and more mature girlfriend. Whoa there girl, that was the green monster talking. And man was that little dude rude.

   “Dude, seriously, I’m good.” She said and gave him a frivolous pat on the shoulder. “When did you see me anyways?”

   She was curious, but her curiosity grew when his eyes ever so slightly drifted to the left. What was this? Was he out late into the night as well?

   “Were you perhaps out having fun as well?” She inquired with a playful smirk and a quirked brow.

   “I wouldn’t… Not in that kind of place…” He was blushing now and his words had come out awkward and rather frazzled.

   “What… What kind of place?” She asked with a gentle cock of her head.

   “Y’know… The place where you were.” He mumbled.

   “You’re gonna have to be more specific because I was in more than one place yesterday night.”

   “The… The love hotel.” He said and managed to control the gentle blush that stained his cheeks.

   “Oh, there.” She said noncanonically.

   Oh there! Of course, it had to be there! This was great. Peachy. Just flat out fucking amazing.

   “You won’t tell anyone will you?” She asked, not even bothering to try and explain herself.

   “I won’t if you promise not to do something so dangerous again! You could get expelled for such things! With the no dating rule, which you are breaking, you would add more of a sentence to your rap sheet if someone saw you!” He hissed.

   “I’m not dating anyone.” She said as if that helped the entire situation.

   “You’re gonna give a guy a heart attack at such a young age. You know this right? You are aware of how dangerous that is right?” He snapped at her but there was an exasperation to his tone that she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. But not sorry enough to tell him the truth. He probably wouldn’t even believe it anyways, because to be fair it did sound a bit far-fetched. She watched him lean his body forward so his arms would be propped on the window-ceil.

   “Don’t tell me you’re in love with me?” She couldn’t help but tease him.

   “Why would I be in love with you?” He asked, a mixture of disgust and confusion written on his face as he looked up at her.

   Well, that hurt like a knife to the chest.

   “Then my stalker, maybe?” She asked, her smirk still present.

   “That’ll be a very hard no.”

   “Then what were you doing out late at night?”

   He didn’t have to tell her, but it would make things fair.

   “Why are you two not inside the classroom?” A new stern voice sounded from behind them.

   “Making out.” “Sorry, sensei, we’ll go back now.” The two of them responded together.

   The expression in response to her comment made her laugh. Fingers pressed gently against her lips she looked back and forth between the two of them. Chiharu, looked to her with his mouth agape and Kagari-sensei looked ready to smack her if violence against students was allowed. She didn’t bother telling them she was kidding this time and instead skipped into the classroom.

   Also, how dare Kagari-sensei judge her even for a second when he got so wasted he threw up on her. Oh how she wished she could humiliate him with that fact, she steamed while she took her seat. Shit! She was supposed to text Akira that she made it home safe.

   “Stupid, stupid, stupid.” She muttered to herself and gently slammed her forehead against the desk. She quickly and very discreetly texted her friend that she indeed made it home safe but something happened that made her completely forget to text him that she had. Letting him know that she would tell him all the details later on that day.

   It was then that she noticed someone else had texted her. Someone whose number she didn’t know. With slow movements, she lifted her forehead off the desk to look at her homeroom teacher. He was also looking at her when she did this and it freaked her out so much she sat up straight in her seat. Did… Did he know too?

   Dread anchored her heart in her stomach and bile climbed up her throat as she let the thought sink in. Oh no. Oh God no. Oh hell no! Another slam of her forehead against her desk. She didn’t care that her fellow students were looking at her with quizzical expressions. She had bigger problems. Problem Uno: She was about to barf that delicious breakfast bar right up. Problem Duos: If he remembered then it was goodbye school and hello shame. Problem Tress: It would break her father’s heart.

   “{Last Name}-san, would you please reframe from making a scene?” The sigh that spoke volumes of disappointment was what almost sent her over the edge.

   “But scenes are what I’m good at.” She played it off as a joke and sat up.

   Back to the blasé attitude, she was known to have. It would do her no good speculating. Even if he did know it was her he had no proof and she could just play dumb. Well, that wasn’t a wonderful idea since anyone would believe whatever perfect Mr. Robot-Sensei said. Damn! What WOULD she do if he figured it out? This time she reframed from slamming her forehead against her desk but she allowed her lips to curl into a frown when Kagari-sensei looked away. He gave her one final exasperated look and told her, “This is a school, not a tv drama. Act your age, please.”

   “Righty-roo.” She smiled up at him.

   Well, that garnered her a glare. He didn’t bother to give her a response and instead made his way back to the front of the classroom. A little into the lesson, when she knew he was too busy to pay attention to her, she peeked at her phone that was inside her desk. With slyness that any good spy would possess she read the message on her phone.

   “Hello, I can’t seem to remember your name, but I remember bits and pieces of last night. One of those memories was of me ruining your cardigan. I will have it cleaned by tomorrow. Would you mind meeting up with me so I can give it to you? I would also like to properly apologize to you in person.”

   Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. She wasn’t freaking out at all. Nope. Not a bit. He didn’t remember her, so that was good. Bad news, he wanted to meet her and she definitely wanted her cardigan back. Her stomach churned and she felt a cold sweat begin to coat her skin. Heartbeat increasing and head buzzing with a tickling sensation, she knew she needed to calm down first before she could devise any sort of plan. But how was she supposed to calm down? Any rational person would know that this situation was anything but calming!

   “{Name},” her classmate whispered to her. “Are you okay? You don’t look too good.”

   Oh good. She looked as horrible as she felt. And it wasn’t as if she could excuse herself because if she even suggested such a thing she had the feeling Kagari-sensei would assume she was lying. He really didn’t have much faith in her, did he? A self-deprecating laugh bubbled up her throat but she was successfully able to thwart it before it passed her lips.

   “I’m fine.” She responded with a small smile.

   “If you say so.” Her classmate mumbled, obviously still worried at the blatant lie.

   “If you have something to say while I’m in the middle of teaching it must be very important,” Kagari-sensei said, his voice overbearing and grating.

   “I’m not feeling well and she was just worried about me.” She found herself saying in a defiant tone. “I was about to ask you if I may so kindly be excused to the nurse's office.”

   Perhaps that wasn’t the best tone to take with him in that very moment but a girl can only take so much rudeness. Granted she was talking while he was teaching, so maybe she deserved some repercussion but she didn’t deserve to be talked to like she just ruined his life. In fact, if SOMEONE hadn’t thrown up on her she wouldn’t be in her current state of turmoil.

   He looked down at her and the tension in the room rose to a suffocating degree as they continued to stare at one another.

   “You may go.” He almost spit out those words as his eyes flashed with a look that told her he absolutely did not want her to. “Since it seems that my teaching for today won’t help you.”

   His eyes had gleamed over her opened binder, which remained unmarked from that day’s lesson. She didn’t know why but she felt like he was calling her an idiot.

   “Yes, I doubt it will.” She responded calmly as she packed up her belongings and left the classroom with grace.

   But when she shut the door behind her and made her way slightly down the hallway she slammed her fist against the wall. The pain that sparked from her knuckles traveled up her arm and the back of her neck before it left her brain tingling. It was a good distraction and it helped ebb away the anger that boiled inside her.

   “I can’t wait for you to be groveling at my feet tomorrow. Begging for forgiveness for such “disgraceful” behavior.” She roared silently as she pulled her fist away from the wall.

   When she looked at her fist she was pleased that no skin broke, but there would definitely be bruises the next day if the redness that burned her skin meant anything. Once she entered the nurse's office she was surprised that there was no one there. Not even a student was asleep in the few sickbeds that aligned the walls. Using her alone time to good use she plopped rather unladylike on one of the beds and whipped out her phone. She spent her free time finding a place near a university she would claim that she went to.

   “We could meet up at the new café that opened up near my University.” She texted him and sent him the address of the café as well. “And I will accept apologies in a cup of coffee and a sweet treat.”

   The café had been a tempting sight when she looked up its information on her phone. It was a calming place with brown, black, and cream undertones that were derived throughout its furnishings and wall decor. It probably smelled of cinnamon and pastries. A comforting smell indeed. As she stared up at the ceiling she went over her plan. She’d go out tonight and buy a wig, one that might be pricey but would definitely look believable. She’d even find a good makeup tutorial video before-hand and buy the makeup needed to contour her face to look like someone else’s.  He’d never know it was her. She’d even make her voice higher or lower in pitch so he wouldn’t be able to catch onto her lie. And once she got her cardigan back she’d never need such tricks again.

   “Well, here’s to hoping anyways.” She muttered underneath her breath as she shut her eyes.

   She had barely gotten much sleep the night before and the bed was far more comfortable than one would assume. Treating it like her own bed, she snuggled deeper into the mattress and wrapped the blanket snuggly around her. By tomorrow night this whole nightmare would be over. At least, that’s what she told herself as she fell into a dreamless slumber.

[cblikeslainey]

Iris

Read on AO3

Lainey’s fingers strummed idly at her guitar. She didn’t feel much like playing at the moment, but she’d already caught up on all of her grading, and she didn’t feel like going home to an empty house. Especially when her stupid boyfriend was still in town. She strummed harder, frustrated. At least she could count on music as a release. Lainey turned up the volume on her amp. Music was always there for her, unlike the people in her life.

She didn’t notice CB enter for quite some time.

“Shit!” She exclaimed, startled. “I didn’t think anyone was still here!”

“I had Model UN, and then I had to grade my Literature and Comp papers,” CB explained.

He practically lived there.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” His voice was gentle.

CB was good at the whole dealing with emotions thing. Lainey, however, preferred to bottle hers.

“What makes you think something’s wrong?” Lainey deflected, as usual.

CB raised an eyebrow at her.

“Fine,” she sighed. He could see straight through her. Not that she was doing a particularly good job of hiding her emotions at the moment.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“Over drinks?” she offered.

“Deal. I’ll drive”

Normally, Lainey might have protested, but after everything that had happened this week she wanted to get obscenely drunk, and if CB was going to enable that, who was she to tell him no?

Lainey refused to talk before having a drink. It was all too frustrating to deal with without alcohol.

It was relatively early, so the bar wasn’t too crowded. Lainey found them a couple of seats at the bar. The tables were too far away to order as much as she wanted to. 

“I’ll have a Shirley Temple,” CB ordered. “And I’ll buy whatever she’s drinking,” he told the bartender, gesturing to Lainey.

“Oh, no, you’re drinking tonight,” Lainey commanded.

“Who’s going to drive us home?”

Lainey reconsidered.

“We’ll call a cab,” she decided. She sent him a pleading look before turning back to the bartender. “He’ll have... a tequila sunrise, and a double shot of Johnnie Walker for me... And I can cover my own tab!”

CB sipped on his fruity drink while Lainey slammed back her hard liquor. He didn’t know how she did it. Years of practice, he supposed.

“Now do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?”

“Barry and I have been fighting.

CB hated the part of himself that rejoiced at her words. Not trusting himself to comment, he waited for her to continue.

“It all started when Barry missed the recital on Wednesday...”

Barry had decided to work late and changed his flight. He neglected to tell Lainey. It broke her heart when she didn’t see him out in the crowd.

Barry did eventually make it to Philadelphia... at nearly one in the morning. He let himself into Lainey’s house using a spare key she’d entrusted him with and loudly announced his arrival. 

“Laaaaaiiinnnneeeyyy, I’m home.”

It took her a moment to gather herself up, climb out of bed, and make her way to him. She was dressed in her Hello Kitty pajamas, her hair disheveled from sleep. She called out to him from halfway down the stair case.

“Barry, y'know I hate surprises.” Her sleep slurred words betrayed her annoyance. “What time’s it?”

“Nearly One A.M.” He chirped back at her.

“I have school tomorrow,” she whined. “The couch is made up. We’ll talk when I get home from work.”

She turned and stumbled back up the stairs before he could get in another word.

Barry was still asleep when Lainey got up for work in the morning. She found that he’d made her heart shaped pancakes and left them in the fridge. The note read, “For my Lainey love, xoxo Care-Bear”. She left them where they were.

“Why didn’t you eat my love pancakes?” Barry bore down on her when she came home. He could be just like his mother sometimes.

“Wasn’t hungry.” Lainey lied.

“You weren’t hungry for my love?” Barry laid on the guilt trip. It wasn’t working as he’d hoped.

“You sound just like Beverly. What are you going to say next? You've failed as a boyfriend?” It was a low blow and Lainey knew it.

“Hey!”

“I’m sorry, it’s just...” Lainey swallowed hard. “You really hurt my feelings when you missed the student piano recital.”

“I had to work, and there’s a spring recital every year,” Barry protested. “My job is very important. I’m a doctor.”

“That’s not the point, and you know it.” Lainey’s frustration was growing. “Those kids busted their asses and I was really proud of them. It was an important moment for me as a teacher. Every student’s success is a big moment to the teacher who helped them get there. Besides, my job is important, too, and I always make time for you.”

“You get to rock out all day. It’s not the same as doctor work,” Barry condescended, drawing the words out as if she were an idiot.

“You wouldn’t be a doctor without your teachers,” Lainey countered.

“You wouldn’t be alive without your doctor,” Barry retorted. It was an ill-matched response, but still one Lainey had a hard time arguing with.

“If you really can’t see how important my job is to me, then maybe we’re not right for each other after all!” She yelled, completely frustrated, and at a loss for anything else to say.

Lainey’s eyes stung with tears.

“Don’t even say that!” Barry roared back at her. “Ugh, I need to go nunchuck.” 

He ran off flailing his arms behind him.

Lainey knew Barry would never hurt her. Hell, he couldn’t if he wanted to, but an angrily nunchucking boyfriend in her house made her uneasy all the same. And she was still upset with him for missing the recital, for shitting on everything that was important to her, for not talking things out with her like a rational adult...

“...so I told him that if he was going to act like this, he could stay with his mother, and he could come back when he was ready to communicate like an adult.”

“Damn.” CB let a beat pass. “Another round,” he called to the bartender. “This time two double Johnnie Walkers.”

It wasn’t lost on CB how much it hurt Lainey that Barry didn’t understand their profession. Teaching had become everything to Lainey. It had helped her as much as she’d helped her students, and she was in a much better place for it. What they did made a difference, CB understood that better than anyone. That’s why it was his favorite job in the whole world.

Still, CB couldn’t imagine putting any job before Lainey Lewis. He’d do anything for her. There was nothing he wanted more than to give her the dependability Barry was denying her. But that’s not what she wanted, at least, not romantically, so he did the next best thing: he let her vent.

“And I can’t believe he still uses those nunchucks!” Lainey laughed a little at Barry’s expense.

“I think it’s worse that he uses nunchuck as a verb,” CB added, his English teacher shining through. He was afraid he was crossing a line with the comment, but Lainey smiled at him. 

The bartender sat their drinks in front of them. CB clinked his glass to Lainey and drank. He choked a little before finishing the shot, then shook himself a little at the taste and burning sensation. Lainey giggled at him.

“How do you knock ‘em back so easily?” He asked Lainey, his curiosity winning out.

“I started when I was fifteen,” she replied, confirming his earlier suspicions. 

“Were you and Barry a thing back then?” The words flooded out of his mouth before he could stop them.

“I think...” Lainey drew her words out. “I don’t want to think about Barry anymore tonight.”

That was something CB could easily get behind.

So, instead CB praised her on the successful recital. Of course, he’d been in attendance. He’d even shown up early to help set up. The conversation flowed easily from there. It always did between them.

As the night wore on Lainey found herself drinking considerably less than she’d originally planned. She still wasn’t anywhere close to sober, but she wasn’t ready to pass out or puke on anyone’s shoes just yet. She found CB could distract her from her problems as well, if not better, than alcohol. In spite of everything, she was having fun.

“Maybe it’s better that Barry an’ I are fighting. I doubt I’d’ve had this much fun with him tonight...” Lainey slurred. The words left her lips well before she could process them. She meant them, regardless.

CB’s hand reached out achingly close to her cheek. He longed to close the short distance and caress her face, to use his other hand to pull her to him, to lose himself in her kisses. 

Who was he kidding? He couldn’t come onto his best friend who had a boyfriend, who trusted him to support her while she was vulnerable. 

But was a little after two in the morning, he was as drunk as he could get with out barfing his lungs out, and this was Lainey Lewis. She was his dream girl. She was sitting right in the bar stool next to him, tantalizingly close. He could even smell her perfume. Today it was vanilla and lavender, intoxicating in its own right. She looked as beautiful as ever. Her blonde locks were down, a little unkempt; she’d worn it half up at school that day. With her tight jeans and revealing tank top under a leather jacket, she looked like something out of a dream. Her gorgeous green eyes were fixed on him, their expression adoring, and she’d just told him it was worth having her heart shattered just to be there having fun with him.

To hell with it. He reached forward and caressed her cheek. Lainey leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed.

They remained like that for a moment. Lainey never wanted to hurt Barry. Even though he’d hurt her, a voice in her head nagged. It didn’t excuse anything. But this was CB. No one in the world made her feel so safe, so loved. And she was tired of fighting it, tired of pretending she didn’t love him back, and hopelessly desperate not to be alone right now.

She surged forward and kissed him. In that moment, it hit her that she and Barry were done. In that moment, with CB’s hand on her cheek and the other on the small of his back, their lips touching, she didn’t care. CB was all that mattered. She pulled him toward her, eager to have him as close as possible.

She didn’t care what the bar’s few last patrons thought, but the shame ebbed at her anyway.

“Let’s get out of here.” Lainey whispered into CB’s ear, punctuating the statement with a kiss on his neck.

They settled their tabs, and CB called them a cab.

Once they were in the cab, Lainey insisted that there would be one stop, and gave the cab driver her address. 

She knew it was wrong, but Lainey couldn’t resist the urge to make out with CB in the cab. As soon as the directions were out of her mouth, she turned to CB who was already leaning toward her. Their lips met again. They couldn’t get enough of each other. They didn’t stop until the cab did.

After paying and exiting the cab, they kissed their way into the house, up the stairs, and into Lainey’s bedroom. Lainey got bolder once they reached her room. She moved her hands down CB’s back and grabbed his ass with both hands, pulling him closer. He let out a low moan. It was hot; CB was hot, Lainey thought to herself. She began pulling off his clothes. He let her.

CB couldn’t believe he was here. He couldn’t believe he was kissing Lainey Lewis. He couldn’t believe he was in her bedroom. He couldn’t believe that she wanted him.

Lainey froze. 

“We- we can’t.” It broke her heart in a thousand ways. She wanted to be with CB. She wanted to show him that she loved him. She didn’t want to jerk his heart around. But the fact was, she was still with Barry. She couldn’t stand to hurt him anymore than she already had. And as much as they both fought it, they were impossibly tired.

CB couldn’t believe they did this. What they were doing was cheating. He couldn't believe he’d been so okay with it. He couldn’t believe he’d almost taken advantage of his vulnerable best friend. Maybe he already had.

“Right,” CB cleared his throat, and began to look for his pants, suddenly very embarrassed to be in his boxers. “I should go.”

Lainey caught his wrist. 

“Wait,” Her voice was small. “I don’t want to be alone tonight. Could you...could you hold me?”

He’d do anything for her. He nodded and sat on the bed.

Lainey had already flung off her jacket, but she still needed to take off her bra and put on pajama pants. She glanced over at CB. He was looking away like a gentleman. She wouldn’t have minded if he looked.

Lainey pulled back the covers and cuddled into CB. He held her close. She’d never felt more at home. She knew that tomorrow she faced the insurmountable task of breaking Barry’s heart, but right now even that seemed less daunting.

CB relaxed with Lainey snug in his arms. He fell asleep easily for someone who should’ve had a guilty conscience. 

Lainey kissed his cheek.

“I love you, CB,” she whispered when she was sure he couldn’t hear her.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Prompts 10 and 36 just scream Spideychelle. They don't have to be written together, though that might tickle your fancy too

Thanks for the prompts, @soonersgirl86 and Anon! I did end up writing 10 and 36 together, so thank you for putting that idea in my head! Hope you enjoy the results!

The Game’s a Foot on BluePairing:Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle)Rating: TWord count: 1764

10.“You’re wrong and I’ll prove it.”

36. “I’d be fine having sex with the same person forthe rest of my life, if it wasn’t the same sex every single time.”

When you grew up as the ‘smart kid,’ you knew it. You wereeither fawned over or pushed too hard by your parents. Either admired orresented by your siblings. Your classmates simultaneously teased you and wantedyou in their group for projects. Maybe you were lonely, or maybe you enrolledin a good high school, full of ‘smart kids.’ Then you might take it a stepfurther and join Academic Decathlon, grouping yourself with the students thatthe rest of the overachievers thought of as the ‘smart kids.’ Once you’dreached this level, this upper echelon of tomorrow’s leaders, you couldn’t justplay a board game in your spare time. At least, that was what Flash was attemptingto convince them of.

MJ was currently trying to disappear into the thick cushionsat one end of the couch in Flash’s family’s living room. Every time herobnoxious teammate paced by her, she got a lungful of air that had the generalscent of Too Much Body Spray. She was full of regret; one surprise, come-from-behindvictory during a Decathlon scrimmage with another local school had made herfeel dangerously friendly towards the losers she captained and, in the insanityof the moment, she’d spoken two fateful words: “team bonding.”

Now the entire team was spending their Saturday nighttogether at the Thompsons’ while Flash’s parents had a ‘romantic weekend’(Flash’s words―uh, barf) in Las Vegas. Weird family. Somewhere between animpromptu video game championship and the time the tower of pizzas arrived (apparentlya purchase that qualified as an emergency, subsequently charged to Mr.Thompson’s credit card), MJ had identified sinking into the depths of the couchas the least obvious escape route. They just had to forget about her for awhile. If she was completely still, there would eventually be an opportunity tobook it to the door and taste the freedom of her old life. A life before teambonding.

But then Flash started in on his board games rant and beforehe’d reached the end of it (she hoped there actually was an end), he’d beguncounting the other people in the room in case teams needed to be formed. Whatpissed MJ off even more than being counted for participation reasons was thefact that Flash didn’t know how many people were in Decathlon. Not like theyhad biweekly practices or he’d been on the team for three years with very fewnew faces or anything. Moron.

“So we combine them,” he insisted. “Play multiple games atonce.”

“More challenging,” Cindy agreed, perking up next to MJ. “Ilike it.”

“Bonding is cancelled,” MJ protested wearily. “I’m thecaptain.”

Flash rounded on her, crossing his arms.

“Well, there should be another captain, for, like, moraleand chilling!” he said. “And that’s me.”

“That’s the last thing we need,” she grumbled.

“You’re wrong,” Flash argued, “and I’ll prove it.”

That was probably when she should’ve protested harderinstead of slouching off to the bathroom, but hey, she’d drunk two cans ofginger ale and her bladder was feeling it. Constant small sips meant shorterresponses and therefore, fewer chances of being engaged in conversation. Now,walking back into the living room, MJ saw that she was going to pay for her peebreak and pay dearly.

There was a creased Twister mat unfolded on the floor.

Logically, there wouldn’t be room for them all on theplastic sheet, but solving that problem was another thing they’d done while shewas gone. (She’d been two minutes! What the hell?!) These devious,academically-accomplished bastards―had already laid out and begun the alternategame, what looked like a combination of Clue and Life. Betty was sitting withher legs neatly folded, hashing out rules that seemed to require players tosolve the murder before they reached retirement. Oh, and the killer was one ofthe family members they would collect on the way.

MJ was going to lose her shit. If she was about to be heldagainst her will for… who knew how long, potentially hours… she would have atleast wanted to be in the group that wouldn’t be contorting themselves to reachthe correct coloured circle.

She could almost convince herself that was how she felt aslong as she didn’t make eye contact with Peter, staring at her from the otherside of the Twister mat. MJ swallowed and did what anyone with a massive secretcrush and a deficient sense of self-preservation would do: she peeled off hersocks, rolled up the cuffs of her boyfriend jeans, and stepped up to the edgeof the mat.

A dozen rounds in and she was lying to herself again. It wasobviously Flash’s body spray that made her want to knock him over, not the factthat he was positioned between her and Peter. (Yeah right.) Maybe he’d toppleon his own if she announced that she knew Peter was Spider-Man. Was that anappropriate conversation starter? Parties weren’t really her thing.

MJ eyed Peter as he placed his left hand on yellow.Seriously, was no one else paying attention to the ease with which that nerdshifted his limbs? You didn’t get casual strength and defined arm muscles likethat from constructing Lego Death Stars, that was for damn sure. It was thelatest in a long, long trail of breadcrumbs she’d been gathering for months. Sheclosed her eyes for a second and refocused on the game. Again, the urge to bumpFlash possessed her. But she wasn’t supposed to wish for him to be out―Flashwas on her team. Twister wasn’t meant to be a team sport, but Christ, thesetouchy-feely saps.

Ned, who had apparently been killed off in Clue/Life (yeah,she really hadn’t gotten a good grasp of the rules, or they’d evolved), was nowworking the Twister spinner and cheerfully reading out each round’saccompanying question. Because it had to be a combination of games. Because,again, Flash was a moron.

“Right foot blue, MJ,” he directed. (Fucking easy for him tosay, she thought as she stretched with a grunt.) “And your question…” Ned drewa card from the deck. “Would you rather have sex with the same person for therest of your life, or never get to have sex with anyone more than once?”

“Flash, where did you get these questions?” she wondered, movingher foot with a smack.

It wasn’t the first time she’d asked, but he was being cageyabout it. Honestly, most of them sounded like they’d come from some kind of sextherapy manual. Oh god, maybe it was a real game and his disgustingly-in-loveparents played it.

“Just answer,” Flash demanded. “I can’t…. stay…”

He slipped and fell on his ass. MJ blurted out a laugh. Finally,she was having fun at team bonding night.

Flash extricated himself from the mat, being a good enoughsport not to try to take MJ or Peter down as he made his exit, going to watchClue/Life. Peter and MJ were the only two left now. MJ rotated her footexperimentally on its circle, making her toes brush Peter’s. A blush raced uphis face like a burning match. Fascinating.

“MJ?” Ned asked, waiting.

“Uh, can you come back to me?”

He frowned.

“You’re supposed to―”

“They’re fake rules,” she reminded him, “and Peter doesn’tcare. I’ll answer my question after he moves.”

Peter shrugged. Ned sighed dramatically.

“Fine, but I think you should be setting a better example ascaptain.”

“Noted.” She rolled her eyes.

“’K, Peter…” He paused as the spinner whirled around. “Lefthand blue.”

MJ clenched her teeth together and squeezed her lips shut asshe analyzed the circles surrounding his current location. She would not smileshe would not smile she would not smile―Peter lunged towards her and, aftermaybe a second’s worth of hesitation, reached his arm over her extended leginstead of under it. She had her stomach to the ceiling, braced on hands and feetlike a crab, which had been extremely unsexy until Peter positioned himselflike he was about to climb on top of her. The front of his t-shirt draped overher thigh. MJ wasn’t sure he strictly had to be that close. She narrowed hereyes.

Dammit, he’d been playing a long game too.

After settling into his new posture by rocking a bit on hishands, he glanced up, flicking hair out of his eyes. They looked at each other.Yep, definitely dammit.

“Back to you,” Ned reminded her. “No more passing.”

“What was the question again?” she checked, trying to soundbored.

“She’s stalling,” Peter accused. Their eyes held for asecond. “MJ has the best memory in this room.”

Playful complaints? Flattery? And, oh, he wanted her toanswer the question? She would answer that question.

“I’d be fine having sex with the same person for the rest ofmy life,” MJ told Ned (while really, actually, telling Peter), “if it wasn’tthe same sex every single time.”

She was almost certain he’d started to lean over her bodymore before shifting back. And his mouth was open. Though she never stared athis mouth. (Another lie.)

“What if it was one person who behaved like two people?” Nedasked gleefully.

Peter’s head whipped around to shoot his friend a wide-eyed lookthat, to MJ, blatantly said shut up.Could they make it any more obvious that Peter had a secret identity? It wasbaffling. These were the stupidest smart kids she’d ever had the misfortune ofmaking friends with… and in one case, accidentally falling head over heels for.If they were going to be that dumb,she would indulge herself in a moment of pretend ignorance.

“Like roleplay or something?” she asked. Peter made a weirdsound in his throat. MJ decided to go in for the kill, catching his eye. “Yeah,maybe. I’m kind of into masks.”

“I forfeit,” Peter announced, springing to his feet.

Once he’d bounded away down the hall to the bathroom, MJ letherself collapse onto the mat.

“So I guess it’s pretty much impossible that you haven’tnoticed Peter likes you,” Ned summarized, idly flicking the spinner.

“I’ve noticed lots of things,” she replied, smiling as shestared at the high ceiling.

She chose not to specify that one of them wasPeter’s super alter ego. Or that another was the bulge in the front of hisjeans he hadn’t managed to completely block with his hands before running out.Not that MJ would ever look.

Pick a prompt for a Spideychelle drabble!

[dr-gloom]

Confession Time, Here’s What I’ve Got (Ch 2)

Commission Me (please)

Ch 1  Ch 3

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 9

Fandom: Sanders’ Sides

Pairing: none

Tags/Warnings: vomit mention, confessions, Roman’s a butt

Read it on AO3

fic masterlist

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Add yourself to my taglist

Virgil woke with a raging headache. His brain pounded against his skull before he even opened his eyes, drawing a weak groan from his dry lips. He pulls his blanket over his head to stifle the little light coming into his room before almost immediately throwing it off; it was too damn warm for blankets right now.

Speaking of which, he felt like he was practically drenched in sweat, his skin feeling clammy. Virgil slowly sits up, raising his arms above his head in a stretch, planning to take a shower. He exits his room, nearly running into Roman in the hall and has to stumble back just before the impact while his brain processes his confusion. He puts a hand to his head when it throbs, looking up at Roman’s annoyingly smug, sober face. “What’re you looking at, Princey?” He grumbles, squinting up at the other.

Roman grins down at the other, taking in his disheveled appearance. “Sleep well, Vomit-y Central?” It takes Virgil a moment to process the question and do a mental inventory before he realizes,

“I never puked, asshat.”

“No, but you look like barf!” Roman laughs, the noise jarring and painful with Virgil’s hangover. Virgil punches his shoulder as Roman runs off towards the living room, then continues on his way towards the shower. The hell had him in such a good mood?

After a long, relaxing shower, Virgil feels at least marginally better. By the time he’s stepping out of the bathroom with his towel around his waist his friends are all awake in the living room, chatting quietly. Virgil gets dressed and goes out to join them, sitting next to Roman.

“I don’t even remember most of the night,” Patton admits. Ah, they must have been trying to recount what happened. Virgil wondered if anyone remembered the whole night. Roman probably did, actually; he doesn’t really like to get drunk. “But I did have a super…. Surprising dream,” Patton admits, looking down at his lap. Roman grins, the same smug look he’d worn when Virgil ran into him earlier.

“Oh? What sort of dream was it, Padre?”

Patton flushes pink and shakes his head. “Oh, nothing important! Just some weird dream nonsense! I don’t even remember most of it!”

“Whereas I feel as if I have not slept at all,” Logan chimes in. “Though, before either of you ask, I only remember some of the events prior to my loss of consciousness. Mostly senseless games and watching Patton and Virgil becoming increasingly inebriated.”

Both Patton and Virgil adopt an embarrassed expression upon hearing that. Virgil didn’t really care much for drinking either, but he’d been so stressed and sad lately that he’d thrown his inhibition to the wind and decided to just let what happened happen. He was starting to regret that now, though. Clearly he missed something good if Roman was this happy.

“I don’t remember jack shit, but that might just be the huge headache I have,” he grumbles, voice gravelly. Patton for some reason looks away, cheeks slightly pink (though that could just be the light filtering through their curtains).

Roman snickers. “I remember the entire thing, and there were some real golden moments. Huh, Pat?” He claps Patton on the back and Patton startles, looking at Roman with wide eyes. Well, that confirms Virgil’s hypothesis.

“I don’t really know what you’re referring to, kiddo. I only really remember some of the games we played.”

“Probably because they were so dumb.”

“Au contraire! There were a few rather intimate moments, wouldn’t you say?” Roman winks and nudges Patton, who blushes again.

Seriously, what was up with those two?

“Whatever. I want food.”

After a little discussion and a consensus of greasy goodness being met, the four of them set out for their favorite diner. Virgil and Roman sat across from Patton and Logan, Virgil and Patton being directly across from each other. Patton seemed deeply interested in everything that wasn’t Virgil, and Virgil had his face buried in a menu, trying to decide what to eat. Roman sighed to himself as he watched the awkward duo (un)wittingly avoid each other. This just wouldn’t do.

“So, Patty, Big Daddy, anyone you got your eye on?”

Virgil gives Roman a side glance, raising an eyebrow. Seriously, he was too hungover to deal with this. What was Roman playing at?

Patton waves his hands around, eyes wide and obviously flustered. “What would make you think that? I don’t- well- maybe, but it’s not like anything will happen… ” He trails off, and Virgil glances at Patton curiously. He thought Patton and Logan were already dating? It was totally obvious!

Patton looks at Virgil, blinks, then laughs. “I’m not dating Lolo! He’s like my brother!”

Oh. Had Virgil said that out loud?

“Yes.” Roman says with a smirk. Apparently hungover Virgil had loose lips.

Virgil’s mind catches up with him and he squints at Patton, scrutinizing his roommate. “Hold up. If you’re not dating Logan, who do you like? Do we know them?”

“I’m sure you know him very well, Virgil,” Roman says with a cheeky grin. Patton flushes. Virgil’s eyes widen. No freaking way.

“That’s why you’re in such a good mood! You and Pat hooked up!” Virgil smacks Roman’s arm. What a traitor! He knew Virgil liked Patton! Roman swears, rubbing his arm.

“What? No, God, relax. It isn’t me, Judy Gloom.”

“Will you all cease your prattling. The server is here,” Logan grumbles as their server approaches. Apparently a sleepy Logan is a grumpy one.

Virgil’s thoughts throughout breakfast were about Patton’s mystery crush. Who could it possibly be? Roman seemed to know, which was…. Weird and conflicting. Virgil would have thought Roman would’ve told him sooner so he could like, grieve or whatever, and yet Roman seemed weirdly happy about it. And Virgil was still clueless. Some friend.

Patton’s mind seemed to be occupied similarly. He was quick to blush and get flustered, and he kept avoiding eye contact with Roman and Virgil. Was he embarrassed? Was it someone Virgil used to hate in school, or something? Had he confessed it while they were drunk, and that’s how Roman was the only one who knew?

Logan was the only one who didn’t seem to give a flying fuck about the topic, or his friends’ inner turmoil. He wasn’t heartless, of course, but he figured whatever this was would sort itself out. And if it was about what he thought it was about, he’d been waiting for this for months. It might as well happen while they’re all varying degrees of tired and hungover.

Once everyone had some food in them, things seemed to relax. Virgil’s headache wasn’t quite as bad, Logan wasn’t as moody, Roman was closer to his baseline extra-ness, and Patton had at least stopped blushing. They’re sitting on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons when Patton suddenly sits up from their cuddle pile, making Virgil fall into Logan’s lap.

“Oh gosh, I remember.”

Virgil grunts and sits up, fixing his hair. “Remember what, exactly?”

“Everything! From last night?”

Roman is positively beaming, sitting up as well. “Oh? Does that mean-?”

“I thought you and Roman were dating!” Patton interrupts, pointing an accusing finger at Virgil. There’s a beat of silence before Roman stands up and walks out of the room. A moment later, hysterical laughter can be heard from Virgil’s room.

Virgil blinks. “What? No. We’re just friends.” His eyebrows furrow. “Hold on. Why does this feel like dejá vu?”

“Because we talked about it last night! When we were playing Would You Rather!”

“Can we please stop yelling?” Logan mutters disinterested from where he sits reading a book on the other end of the couch.

“Sorry Lolo,” Patton apologizes, then turns back to Virgil. “Me and Lolo totally thought you guys were dating but you and Ro told us you were just friends. Then later I-” he cuts himself off and turns red. “Oh…”

Virgil shifts anxiously. He didn’t like the sound of that. “What? What happened?”

Patton can’t seem to look at Virgil as he mutters, “I asked you who you like.”

Virgil’s breath catches in his throat. Oh god, what did he tell Patton? “And?”

“You said... me.”

Taglist: @bunny222 @a-fander-named-skittles @eggy-boyo

[renegadesrpg]

#The Orkan, Part 3. It Is Your Legacy. Mateo

I had to take a leak like you wouldn’t believe it. I was still in bed fighting all the outer signs that it was time to get up. My full bladder was just one of several things that held my heavy body and fogged mind horizontal. I had a headache from hell, probably well-deserving. Not that I could remember exactly how I got to the point of so slammed that I couldn’t remember any of it this morning but I tried pushing it aside trying to will my body back to sleep. Pulling the pillow from under my head to over my head the thud made my head vibrate. “Ouch, that fucking hurt.” There was no way I was going to go back to sleep no matter how much I wanted to, the rest of me had already decided that it was a no go. Flopping over onto my back with a grunt I peered my eyes open but closed them again with another groan. The sharp light from the sun that was peaking through my curtains made the headache worse. “What the hell did I drink last night.” I rubbed both hands across my face trying to muster the strength to get up. “I swear if it was any of Buddy’s damn moonshine I’m kicking his ass,” I grumbled pushing my large body up to a sitting position. Sitting on the edge of my bed cradling my head in my hands I was contemplating whether or not I was still alive. It sure as hell didn’t feel like it. Alive shouldn’t hurt this bad and being a wolf pain wasn’t something I seldom felt. Well, at least this kind, I got drunk but never hungover. Seriously, it felt like my brain was hanging halfway out my ear and a giant was jumping on it like it was a goddamn trampoline. The soft sound of my brother Linus, also the Orkan pack enforcer at least one of them, and our alpha Peter’s voices came from the kitchen but they were too far away for me to hear what they said even with my wolf hearing. “Let’s do this…” I muttered, pushing up on my feet and I started swaying. Shooting out an arm in front of me I leaned heavily against the wall. Forcing myself up straight I aimed for the bathroom door but the sun peeking through my curtains stung my eyes causing me to stumble towards the bathroom. The light that slipped through was like a neon sign flashing right in front of my eyes. I couldn’t see a thing. If this had been a cartoon small birds would have flown around a circle above my head and stars would be dancing before my eyes. It didn’t even help if I squeezed my eyes shut, the light was still too strong. With my huge body in such a smaller sized room where everything was cramped up, I was bound to stumble into something, which I did causing a ruckus. It only took minutes before my brother came barging in through the door causing even more noise. “You deserve to feel like shit, you deserve worse brother. How could you have been so fucking stupid?!” Linus’s voice was calm but razor-sharp like it always was. Being the packs enforcer his job was to be calm even in the most stressful situations. I don’t know if it was the volume of his voice that hurt me the most or the fact that it sounded like someone dragged their nails against a blackboard. “Linus calm down. He doesn’t know, therefore he doesn’t understand.” Peter was here, in my damn bedroom. Oh fuck, I was in deep shit now. Peter was my Alpha, our Alpha, and a good one of those but he was hard on traditions and holding up were law. Me on the other hand had a tendency to say fuck traditions and were laws, and I meant that in a literary sense too. I liked to party and I liked to fuck so I went to clubs at least four or five times a week and sometimes more. I had three rules: everything stayed in the club, meaning no leaving with anyone, I never bottomed if my partner was male, and I always used protection. It didn’t matter how much they begged, threatened or what fact that prof they could provide, I wasn’t taking no chances. As a pure were there wasn’t a high chance of me catching any human diseases but it could happened, and like I said I might like to fuck and could be with a couple of different gals and guys each night, but I wasn’t stupid. And I sure as hell didn’t want to father any pups. Not now. Not ever. I opened my eyes back up, I had to face the music sometime and it might as well be now. I pushed up from my bent position next to my dresser. I slowly straightened back up the nausea washing over me like a tidal wave. My knees buckled in seconds Peter was in front of me preventing me from falling forward. I tried to look up at him to say thank you but my head just fell back and I couldn’t hold it up. “We need to get him into the shower and get him woken up enough to get some food down his system. He needs food and some of Mara’s special tea to get him down from whatever it is Alexandra gave him. It would have helped to have known what.” My head was spinning and I was having a hard time focusing on Peter’s face. But Alexandra… I didn’t know an Alexandra… or maybe I did but Alexandra Wiik was not a person I freely spent any time with. “Alright boss.” I heard Linus walking away. “What is wrong with me Peter, why do I feel like barfing all over your shoes?” My head wobbled as I reached for Peter’s shirt and to grab a hold of it and eventually I got a fist full of it. “Why am I still drunk?” The world started to spin an awfully lot and my body swayed, and as I fell back onto the bed I dragged Peter with me and he ended up on top of me. As he fell on top of me, large as he was, the air went out of my lungs in a huff, and the nausea was back once more. But for whatever reason I managed to hold it done once more, and Peter managed to get up and off of me without pushing against my sensitive stomach. “Linus change of plans, fill the tub with cold water, not ice cold but cold enough, you hear.” “Peter I don’t want to ….take a cold bath...it...be cold” I slurred and half my words were left out. “Well tough shit Matteo you are going in whether you like it or not. I could feel how he undid my jeans and started to try to pull them off. “Matteo do even own a pair of pants that don’t fit you like a second skin?” I tried shaking my head, but the movement didn’t go well with my upset stomach. “Nope...I got too nice of an ass to wear baggy pants.” Peter snorted “Oh, boy” but I could also hear that he was smiling. He pulled me up by my arm and with some help he got me up and got my shirt off and we started for the bathroom once more. “What of my shorts...” I let go of Peter and grabbed my boxers to pull them off. I don’t get too far before Peter stops me. “Why don’t we just leave them on for now Matteo.” I don’t argue but just let him lead me to the bathtub and as I step in I growl and curse. “It is fucking freezing. I thought you said cold but not fucking freezing.” But I didn’t get out of the tub. Instead I let myself slide down the tile wall, holding my hands on the side of the tub and slowly sitting down all while Peter is still holding me. I grit my teeth as my body adjusts to the cold water. I close my eyes as I sink lower into the tub my teeth are shattering. “How long am I going to sit in here it’s fucking freezing my nuts off.” I don’t get a reply so I open one eye and glare at Linus who is standing and leaning against the opening of the door, and grinning from ear to ear. “What the fuck are you so happy about.” My head is a little less foggy but still as nauseated. Peter reappears in the doorway, and Linus moves inside and sits down on the john, as Peter hands me a cup of steaming tea. “Finally someone with some damn heart around here.” Taking a deep drink from my tea and almost choked on it as I started to swallow, but most of it I spurted as the horrendous taste made my stomach turn. “What the fuck Peter!” I wiped my mouth on my arm trying to get the taste out of my mouth. “What are you trying to do?! You want me to hurl.” Linus was bent over laughing so hard he he almost fell off the john. I just glared at him and as he started to tear up because of laughing so hard I simply flipped him off. “You need to drink that, it is to get the toxic out of you system. We don’t know what Alexandra managed to get in you so Mara did her special tea. Drink up, and drink it all.” I opened my mouth to argue but Peter just gave me the ‘I'm your Alpha, do as I damn tell you’, so I shut my mouth and drank the goddamn tea. **** About thirty minutes later I had drunk the damn tea and the cold bath had managed to get sober enough that I was able to stand on my own two legs and get dressed. I still felt “loopy” and like I was floating outside of my body. I folded my 6’1 frame into one of the kitchen chairs with a heavy thud, making the kitchen chair scrape against the floor as I let my long legs stretch out in front of me. I still felt funny like I didn’t have complete control of my body, like when I was a kid and walked around in my dad's shoes that were ten sizes too large. No one was speaking, just observing me and my actions like they were waiting for a damn magic trick. Most likely what they wanted was an explanation and some kind of verification that I was going to clean up my act and make sure this never happened again. I still wasn’t sure why anyone was out to get me, unless it was to get to Peter since he was the Alpha. But that still didn’t make much sense. I had refused for a long time to be anything considered “worthy” in the hierarchy of our werekin pack even though Peter had throughout the years asked me a few times a year to step up to be his Beta. I never even considered it and just turned him down blank. Up until fairly recently he hadn’t been pushing the issue, it had felt like it had been more of a “thing” he did to ease a guilty conscience that the former great Alpha Claus, Linus and his grandfather, that his bisexual grandchild was not only his sexuality but a commoner, and liking the anonymity of not being anyone. I had always done my duty, I always put pack business before my own needs just like Linus or anyone else in the pack. It was so well embedded in me that there was no choice in the matter, but when business was done and I was “off” not that you really were off pack business, I got to play and I liked clubs and I liked to get laid. And come on, who the hell didn’t like to get a piece of ass. I never brought the fuck home with me and I really never got into any trouble. The worst that happened was some eager piece of tail that found out where I lived and came to find me and tried to convince me I was their mate. Especially humans did that because they didn’t understand werekin any better, that we could smell the one that was our mate and that our wolf would never let the human part of us just walk away from our true mate; at least not without a fight. But this was the most kind of trouble I ever got into, until yesterday that is. Then there was the cryptic discussion that has been going on between Linus and Peter ever since I managed to peer my eyes open. They were hiding something and it all made so much sense now because Peter should be all over my ass giving me the Alpha power over speech, but he wasn’t instead he was rather quiet. They all were quiet at the moment and as I looked around the room; they were all just standing there watching me like I turned into a damn beast. “You are keeping something from me. What is it?!” Mara came and finally put a decent cup of coffee in front of me and some toast. I didn’t even acknowledge it at first but eventually I gave her an appreciative growl. I took a bite of the toast and it actually felt good to get some food in my system and in two great bites the toast was all gone and the next followed the first down just as quickly and the coffee tasted better than any beer or whiskey I had the night before. “Is anyone going to answer me or are you gonna keep staring at me like I am some damn freak, all day. You are really overreacting to all of this. Yeah, fine I admit I got in a bit of a situation yesterday, not too smart but really it is not like that happens a lot and you can’t really blame me for one psycho.” I looked between Peter and Linus, I could see that Peter was trying to find the right words to tell me something and Linus was just trying his best not to tear my head off. He was actually pretty pissed and he and I usually didn’t have any issues. “Linus, why don’t you start and get whatever it is that you got on your chest off before you blow a gasket.” I sipped my coffee as I watched my two year older brother walk up to me, glaring as he leaned in and gave me the dark “get a fucking grip” stare. I knew it well I given it myself a few times in my life and our dad he been a fucking champion on that stare most of his miserable life. “Matteo, I love you but sometimes you are so damn ignorant and blind I just want to beat some sense into you.” The anger shone in his eyes and his body language stiff and it was all rolling off him like a heat wave. I gave Mara a side glance and even she was affected by the intensity in the room. Linus huffed and snorted as he stood back up giving Mara an evil glance, and Mara stared right back never once letting him stare her down. “Alright, so if no one is going to speak I am done with this bullshit. I am going back to bed.” I started to rise when Peter came from the side and pushed me back down. “Sit your ass down Mateo.” His action and voice was forceful but it still lacked the “Alpha tone” and had worried me because everyone else in the room flinched baring their neck as if there had been plenty of Alpha force there. Peter was not a fearful leader or one to Alpha his way around our pack. But he did lead and he took the responsibility a good leader should do for our pack and took his job as Alpha very seriously. He sat down in the chair opposite me so our knees were bumping and I could see how he was struggling but finally he said. “The time has come for me to step down and you to step up. I have done what was requested of me and now when you are ready, all the signs are there you need to take your rightful place in the pack.” I choked on my coffee as he spoke just staring at him with a stunned look. I heard what he was saying but I was not sure I understood why he was saying what he was saying. “What the hell did that bastard put in my drink last night, because I can believe what I am hearing. I told you before Peter I have no interest in being anything in the hierarchy of this pack. I don’t want a leading position.” Running the palms of my hands over my thighs I felt the restlessness of my wolf inside, how he stood up starting to pace inside of me. He was getting angry, that got me worried. A low growl escaped my mouth as he roared inside of me. I clapped a hand over my mouth, my eyes immediately searching for Peter’s to apologize. What the hell was going on!? Peter tilted his head to the side staring me right in the eye as he said “I am the Alpha of this pack! This is MY pack and I am it’s leader!” My wolf came alive inside of me, not at all happy with his words, pawing his way forward, teeth showing and growling out a warning. I gasped and got up on my feet so fast that my chair shot back and fell with a thud onto the floor. I rubbed my chest with the heel of my hand like I was in pain and drying to soothe it. He was angry, and as I looked down at Peter who just sat there watching, maybe even smirking a little, before I could stop myself my fangs had shot out and a my top lip curled up in a snarl as I deep growled to Peter taking two threatening steps towards him. I could feel my eyes narrowing as he rose out of his seat to challenge me right back. The human in me tried to fight my wolf to calm down, but he wanted to tear Peter’s neck off and eat his flesh. “You should listen to your wolf, Matteo. Listen to what he is trying to tell you. Don’t fight it.” I could feel my body starting to shake just the way it usually does when I was about to shift but it was even more powerful than normal. I clutched my hands into fists at my side to not reach out and grab Peter and snap his neck. Linus took a few steps forward, Peter shot out an arm without looking at him. “No, this has to happen. This stubborn son of a bitch wants to do this the hard way, then the hard way it is.” Were they talking about me? I looked at my brother who now looked more worried than angry. What the fuck was happening to me, I was completely losing it, I was about to attack my own Alpha; just the fact that I was challenging my own Alpha and no one was doing a damn thing to stop me, not even him. My body was vibrating, it felt as if I was going to explode from the inside out, I finally managed to force myself to stumble backwards and away from Peter and my wolf clawed at my chest encouraging me to jump him and finish him off. I turned my head slightly to find my brother’s gaze. We were opposite but also the one who could get the other calmed in a heated situation, my lips formed to call his name but it only came out as a mere whisper. “Linus...help me...”. He took a step forward but Peter held up his hand to stop him. I cried out in frustration. I could feel that I was losing the battle with my wolf. My body was getting tired of holding him back and he demanded me to challenge the fake Alpha and claim my pack. And as my wolf broke free of my hold I screamed. “Nooooooo!” I shook so badly I had no idea how I was still standing up. As I shifted the air seemed to crackle as a fire. Somewhere around me I heard Mara say. “Amazing” and how Linus almost sounded as if he was in shock. “Fuck me!”, but Peter said nothing and as I was able to look up back at him, this time there was no hesitation in me what I was going to do. My wolf wanted no demand for Peter’s life or seeing me as his Alpha, and as I prepared myself to tear him into threads I found him on his knees his eyes lowered and his neck showing in respect and to show me that he accepted me as his Alpha. My wolf growled in a slight warning, my lips twitching and showing him my teeth as if it didn’t quite believe his willingness to surrender his place as Alpha. But then I saw him clutch his hand into a fist and place it over his heart, and I heard him speak. “Orkan, my Alpha I surrender myself to thee and accept to be your humble servant in this pack anyway you see fit.” Just like that the immediate urge to kill Peter was gone. My wolf was pleased, chesting up, he was very pleased, he stood down, still there, still demanding and forceful looking around the room at Linus and Mara expecting them to do the same. Mara she never bent to anyone she was older than all of us together, but she did bow her head and repeated the words that Peter just said and when my eyes fell on Linus he look mostly relieved, but I could see the twinkle of ‘you gotta be shitting me, i have to bow to my own brother’ in there too. But he never hesitated or faltered; he came down on one knee, also repeating Peter’s words but introducing himself as the pack enforcer. That was his way of defying me and showing he was not giving up his place in the hierarchy and if I wanted it any differently I had to fight him or kill him. My spirit was connected to his spirit, we were brothers, my wolf accepted this type of challenge from him; it even expected it. The minute the power struggle was over and the people that were in the room accepted my dominance over them my wolf laid down and started licking his paws completely ignoring the other wolves in the room. He was very confident he won the battle with little energy wasted and they all bent to his will. I fell down on my hands and knees on the floor, letting my now much larger body fall to the side I was panting like I’d been out running a marathon. I was exhausted and starving. “Holy hell what was that?!” I was confused as hell, I’d never done anything like that my whole life, and the fact that Peter had bowed to me made me even more confused. I looked at them from my spot on the floor unwilling to move just yet. “Are you two assholes going to tell me what the hell is going on or am I going to have to beat it out of you!” I growled before slapping a hand over my mouth. I had just cursed off my Alpha. Fuck me I was in deep shit now! I thought I went madly insane when both Linus and Peter started to laugh so hard tears were coming out of their eyes. I realized then and there that they were fully aware of what was going on and they’d been expecting it. My eyes narrowed again and anyone who saw me would say that my eyes flashed with a mix of yellow and gold. Peter stood up and walked up to me and held out a hand. “Alpha let me give you a hand up and let’s eat before one of us becomes your breakfast, and we will answer all your questions.” I huffed at his outstretched hand and completely ignored it, getting back up on my own. He didn’t seem to mind, and it felt strange and weird and wrong to be this disrespectful to the man who’d been my Alpha and leader since I was a boy and almost like a father, and seeing him not blink at the insults I was dishing out. I felt a slight blush creep up my face as I turned to Peter and stopped him from moving away. He looked at me and said. “Yes Alpha” his eyes slightly lowered to show his loyalty and that he accepted me as his rightful leader. I put my hand on his shoulder “I am sorry for challenging you. I ...I don’t know what got into me. Please make it go away.” My wolf started to stir and stood back up with a roar but instead of roaring at Peter he was roaring at me, the human side of me. Something must have changed in my appearance because Peter’s face came into my view and his hands were on my arms snapping me back to reality and to him instead of focusing on my annoyed wolf. “Now, now let’s not upset that beast of yours anymore Alpha. I am where I am supposed to be as a member of the Orkan Pack with my rightful Alpha to serve. I have served my pack to the best of my abilities, but it was always just temporary till the force came to you.” Linus came up behind me and slapped me hard in the back forcing me to take a step forward, where I once would have stumbled several steps ahead. “Now little brother and Alpha male can we eat. This whole ordeal has made me starving and of the sound of it so are you.” I could only but nod at him because my eyes were fixated at the were male, whose image was reflecting back to me from the patio glass door, if it wasn’t for my face that besides that my skin looked more, for the lack of a better word looked more fresh, I wouldn’t have thought it to be me. I was taller, at least three or four inches taller, my shoulders broader, even my hair was longer. My eyes that had been blue were now golden brown and my skin was the color of honey. I touched my face and my bare chest that was stronger, more defined than before; and all I could think of to say was “Damn I look good!” My outburst caused another loud laugh out of the people in the room who to me were all family. #ItIsYourLegacy #TheOrkan #TheWolven #TheRenegades

[blackwatchbastard]

Sleeping Habits of Super Soldiers

Rating: T Chapter(s): 1/1 Relationship(s): Gabriel Reyes/Jack Morrison Warnings: Light Angst (happy ending) Words: 2,204 Additional Tags: Cuddles, Sappiness, FLUFF Summary: Even heroes need their rest. A/N: All I feel like writing rn are cuddles so y'all just have to deal with me. (ao3)

There was a procedure to sharing a bed with Jack Morrison. Gabriel learned early on that the man was easily unlike any other bedmate he’d ever had.

For starters he snored, loudly. He knew this before their friendship became anything more than playful banter while they both barfed in trash cans after a round of serum shots. It was a majestic sound; like someone trying to start up an ancient car that just wanted the sweet release of death. And rolling him over did nothing.

Not that rolling him over was an option when they slept together. Usually, Gabriel was trapped fully by a tangle of arms and legs within the first few minutes and stayed that way until the alarm went off in the mornings. No getting up to piss or get a drink, no squeezing out of his grasp before morning to go make breakfast. Gabriel just had to stay put and hope Jack’s alarm went off before his bladder exploded. Didn’t help trying to wake him was like trying to raise the dead.

Blankets were also subject to scrutiny from Jack Morrison. Gabriel never saw him sleep with more than a thin sheet in winter, summer meant nothing at all. It made some sense; the man put off heat like a furnace. A few times Gabriel worried he must have had a fever but he seemed to just run hot, something that only increased in severity after SEP treatments. So on cold nights Gabriel would simply have to burrito himself in a blanket before sleeping, leaving Jack to coil around him in a tangle of too-warm limbs. On warm nights, they would just sweat. Gabriel just took up showering in the mornings after waking up to Jack sweat-glued to him.

All in all, an outsider would probably see the arrangement as completely inconvenient. But love makes you adaptive. Gabriel Reyes got used to it, even started to like it. By the time they’d gone from green recruits to Strike-Commander Morrison and Blackwatch Commander Reyes he could actually say he genuinely liked it.

Some nights, Jack fell asleep before him. He hauled himself into their apartment on one such night at around 0300 with a headache and stale coffee breath to find Jack snoring, limbs flung oddly and pillows on the floor. Gabriel undressed to the sound, washed up, and grabbed his fleece off the floor before sitting on the edge of the bed next to him.

“Sleeping beauty, wake up.” he murmured, wrapping his blanket around his shoulders and reaching over to rub Jack’s cheek. Fresh shaven and already prickly, one day he’d just convince him to grow a damn beard.

Jack’s face twitched, nose crinkling, but he didn’t move. Gabriel leaned over and pressed his lips to his cheek, making exaggerated kissing noises, and felt Jack’s cheek pull with a sleepy smile. He didn’t wake up, not really, but he stretched his arms open and Gabriel tucked himself into them, nose smooshed against Jack’s throat. Jack’s arms locked around him instantly, one leg getting haphazardly tossed over his hip, and his snore started up again in seconds. It didn’t take Gabriel much longer to fall asleep under the ideal conditions.

Strike-Commander Morrison’s picture was on another tabloid. Dressed in sweats and toting his luggage into a hotel, caught coming from the airport on some official business. They could have zeroed in on anything, really. His graying and receding hair, his new wedding band (replaced last month after the old one got snatched off with his glove and some of the skin on his knuckles during a mission), laugh lines, softness growing around his middle—anything.

Instead, they’d focused on the item stuffed under his other arm. A body pillow, firm but clearly well napped on and wrapped in a jersey fabric pinstripe cover. The article titles ran the gamut; from ‘Strike-Commander Can’t Sleep Without A Comfort Item?’ (going on to ask what kind of ‘juvenile’ was in charge of Overwatch) to ‘Jack Morrison Possible Pillow Pervert?’ (points for alliteration and how hard Gabriel was going to laugh when he showed him but still a D- in theory).

Jack tossed his tablet at the hotel bed and it landed with a slight ‘puff’ against the too-warm duvet. Of all the stupid shit to get hassled over. He was on a diplomatic mission not some high school overnight trip. He also didn’t have Gabriel, which was the whole reason he had the damn pillow.

It had been Gabriel’s idea; he’d gotten it for Jack after hearing how poorly he slept when they were apart. Originally, he’d gotten some off-brand Strike-Team merch cover for it; himself, in an artist’s rendition of a seductive pose. Jack yanked it off immediately, mortified. Gabriel laughed the whole time. But joking aside it had… weirdly helped. It wasn’t the perfect substitute for Gabriel’s warm and sleep-pliable form tucked against his chest but it worked in a pinch to mimic his usual sleeping position.

Jack glanced back over at the bed, tablet lighting up with another alter. Sighing, he got up and wandered over to flop sideways onto the bed and grab it, head braced against the pillow. Gabriel; asking if he was up. Jack had barely sent the reply before a video chat call came through. Smiling to himself, he answered.

“Hey sunshine, isn’t it late there?” he teased, taking in Gabriel’s drowsy expression and dark background. He looked to be surrounded by pillows in the dim view Jack got, probably in bed. Gabriel nodded in reply to his question and had to stifle a yawn before speaking.

“I can’t sleep without my white noise maker.” he drawled. Jack snorted. “Also, it’s cold as fuck here.”

Jack offered up a sympathetic little smile. “I’ll be back in a few days, promise.” he said, then, “Check the tabloids when you wake up, it’ll make you smile.”

Gabriel stifled another yawn, laughing faintly. “What’d you do?”

“Oh,” Jack said, “I didn’t do anything.”

They talked until Gabriel fell asleep on the line, cheek smooshed against the pillow, and Jack took a screenshot before ending the call.

Usually, Commander Reyes didn’t sleep much on away missions. If they were in the field he would sometimes doze sitting up or catch a short nap during flights. If they actually had a hotel it was another story, however.

Gabriel figured out the exact number of blankets and pillows it took to feel like he was getting smothered by another super soldier and usually would request the extras upon booking. Hotels didn’t really have an issue giving a war hero some extra bedding. And he usually got a room to himself, meaning no one was around to question his weird pillow nest. Sometimes, however, the funding department got a little cheap.

One such occasion, he and Jesse wandered into their room jet lagged and dazed, to find his usual bedding request stacked on one of the two queen size beds in the room. Jesse did a double take when Gabriel dumped his bag on the bed.

“You… ask for those, boss?”

“Yeah.” Gabriel shot him a bland look. “What of it, kid?”

Jesse raised a brow at him. “You gonna play princess and the pea?” he asked.

Gabriel plopped unceremoniously on his bed and went to yanking off his boots. “You tell a damn soul how I sleep, McCree, and the hat is mine.” he replied, casual despite the clear threat.

Jesse blaunched some, one hand shooting to hold his hat to his head, and huffed. “Fine, fine.” he grumbled, moving to drop his bag on the free bed, “Yer secret is safe with me, princess—I mean Commander.”

Gabriel responded by bouncing one of his extra pillows off the back of Jesse’s head, knocking his hat across the room.

Fifth of whiskey and he still couldn’t sleep. Jack stared at the ceiling, vaguely drunk and totally exhausted, and sighed. Shakily, he sat up and grabbed his pack of cigarettes off the ground next to his cot. Laying back down, he lit one and puffed the smoke up toward the ceiling.

Ana had offered him a nicer place to sleep. Maybe a bed, somewhere inside rather than just squished under an overhang. It wouldn’t have done anything but make this process more awkward, so he’d politely declined. Besides, he liked being able to catch glimpses of the stars.

He didn’t have the luxury of carrying extra bedding. His sleeping bag was usually the most he had some nights, since teaming up with Ana he’d been forced to at least get something up off the ground. She’d thrown a pillow at his head after the first night but it and the thin sheet on the cot both usually ended up on the ground by morning. Sleeping in a sleeping bag had been easier; he could restrict his movement and just lay on his back. Now, he tossed and turned and slept in short, fitful bursts.

He hated sleeping on his side. The absence of anything in his arms hurt too much. The lack of a warm body, mumbling in his sleep and scratching his chest with beard hair. Not waking up in the morning and getting groggily smothered in kisses before his bedmate bolted to the bathroom. All sleeping like that felt like anymore was empty and impossible, so Jack trained himself to sleep on his back.

He smoked his cigarette and snuffed the butt out next to his empty whiskey bottle. It didn’t help him sleep but it just about took the edge off. Eventually, he drifted off in a slight daze and dreamt of warmth and softness that was just out of his reach these days. In the morning, it hardly felt like he’d slept at all.

“I don’t sleep.” Reaper told Sombra, hint of a snarl on his voice.

“Weird.” she said, bouncing on her toes, “Must be why you’re always so cranky.”

He just sighed and shooed her off, attempting to get back to the mission at hand. She slept most of the night while he stayed up on watch. The mission wasn’t very long, he could wait to get back.

Gabriel didn’t want to know what Sombra would do with the information of how he slept. Be annoying, mostly. But more worryingly, be curious. Force him to face why he still couldn’t sleep unless he was crowded in pillows and blankets, compressed as best as possible and too warm. She’d make him examine why he dreamt of snoring and scratchy stubble and fingers kneading sleepily at his back muscles.

So he waited. Dozed behind his mask when she was sleeping and tried not to think about how much he missed his bed. Or what else he missed.

“Jack.”

The dream felt so vivid. Like he could just reach out and touch it. Blood, smoke, and agony. It had repeated so many times he could almost tell the whole thing by heart.

“Jack.”

He knew that voice. Knew it in the dark, haunting parts of his mind. Even in the terror, it was home.

“Wake up, Jack.”

His eyes opened but he was still largely blind, dark room and fading vision leaving everything hazy like the dream was. Jack felt a hand rub comfortingly at his chest, just below his collarbone, and tucked himself closer to the soft, blanket wrapped form in his arms. He felt Gabriel shift and sling one arm around his middle, fingers dancing across his bare back soothingly.

“Bad dreams?” he asked. Jack nodded and squished his cheek against the top of Gabriel’s head. “Wanna talk about them?” Jack shook his head so Gabriel went silent.

For a while they just laid there, Jack breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth until he calmed down. Gradually, sleep started to find him again. Gabriel, still rubbing circles on his back, shifted again and roused him some.

“Jack,” he mumbled, sounding half awake, “I gotta piss. Lemme up.”

Defiantly, Jack tucked himself closer. Pulled Gabriel more flush against his chest, chin tucked protectively on top of his head. Gabriel squirmed, grumbling, and shoved halfhearted at his chest.

“Jack.”

“Can’t hear you, Jack’s asleep.” he replied, squeezing his eyes shut.

There was a pause, more grumbling, and then Gabriel’s form dissipated in Jack’s arms and left him clutching the blanket the other man was wrapped in. Smoke flowed thickly over the side of the bed and reformed Gabriel standing next to it, arms folded over his chest. Jack looked up at him sulkily from the bed.

“Cheater.” he pouted.

Gabriel shook his head, smile tugging the corners of his mouth, and ducked down to kiss his temple before turning and heading for the bathroom. “You don’t get to trap me and my bladder anymore, Jackass.”

Jack rolled away to avoid the light of the bathroom cutting on. When he heard it shut off he rolled back over and held his arms out blindly. Gabriel climbed into them a second later and settled in, tucked under his chin. Coiled around him, sleep came easy for the first time in years. In the morning, Gabriel was still asleep in his arms. And everything felt right.

[justagoddamnbranch]

Halloween Part 6 - Final

(Part 5)

Sal giggled, putting a hand down to reach for leo before oscar pushed them to sit on the bed “your drunk ass is gonna fall, stay put.” he walked to the door, pausing, he felt bad for leaving petey out, but he figured petey didnt really like him, and he’d prefer not getting hit again for pushing unwanted affection on him, so he walked out with a “see ya.” he probably would flirt with any frat boys that looked at him on the way out, he got a kick out of it and liked the attention.

sal stuck their tongue out as oscar left, but decided to listen and not lean over the side, bouncing slightly on the bed “goodnight leo! trick or treat!”

“Goodnight, dad.” Petey tensed up a bit, hoping Oscar didn’t hear that last bit. Or at the very least, that he was joking.

“Have some nice dreams, Sal. Happy Halloween.” Leo mumbled, curling up in his blankets.

Petey real quick grabbed up his toothbrush and stuff and went off to the bathroom. When he came back, Leo was already dead asleep. He flicked off the light and climbed up onto his bunk, trying not to rouse Sal too much. “Goodnight you damn fools.”

Oscar didnt think much of peteys choice of name, thought he was surprised he’d call him that. it was his title most of the time though.

———-

sal probably snuggled up to petey at some point in the night. they woke early the next morning, not sleeping very well on the alcohol, sitting up and rubbing their face, they didnt feel very good. they crawled to the edge of the bed, forgetting it was a bunk bed, and promptly fell over the side, hitting the ground with a thud and then letting out a loud sobbing wail into the floor, not moving to get up “mom was right!”

Leo and Petey both woke with a start, Petey looking over the side and Leo flipping over. Leo winced from the movement due to a massive headache, but he leaned towards them, “you ok?“.

Petey climbed down, he was hoping they didn’t hit their head on anything. He didn’t check on them though, he went immediately over to his desk since there were band aids in there. Just in case. He could get ice from the nurse’s office if they needed it.

Sal had mostly fallen on their hands and knees, though they’d hit their chin on the floor, their dark tone wouldn’t make a bruise there very obvious. Sal didn’t get up or answer Leo, face to the floor and weeping. Due to a ‘condition’ they had, their body was having a hard time dealing with the large amount of alcohol they’d consumed, along with no food to help, not yet in hangover mode, they were still on the drunk side. And being a very sad drunk at that.

"Awright come on.” Leo pulled them up onto his bed. He laid down and curled up next to them, his tail making him into a semicircle. He couldn’t quite have them lay in his stomach, he figured the angle would make them sick, so he hoped just putting his arm over them in a half hug would suffice. He pat their back as they cried, unsure if he should ask what was wrong. Well, other than falling about 5 ft.

“Ya need some ice?” Petey asked, already pulling his pants on. He was gonna get ice regardless

Sal shook their head no, still crying, but snuggling close to Leo. It’d take several minutes for them to calm down, at which point they’d sit up sniffling and holding their stomach “w-where’s the bathroom…?”

“It’s down the hall,” Leo stared at them before realizing what was gonna happen, “I’ll show ya.”. He didn’t want them getting lost and making another mess.

Upon reaching the bathroom, they didn’t hesitate to lift the toilet seat and immediately barf. They somewhat started half crying again, mumbling more about something along the lines of “mom was right.” only because she’d said no to Sal having a bunk bed as a kid because they would fall off. they’d stay seated next to the toilet for the next hour, heaving several more times and sobering up some. Well, they wouldn’t be drinking like this again, that’d for sure.

Leo stood outside the stall, just in case Sal needed him. He’d texted Petey to tell him to not worry about the ice just yet. As much as he didn’t want to, he sat on the ground. He leaned his tail against their leg, trying to be supportive, and propped his head against the stall door. A dude got out of a stall a few down, and looked over at Leo.

“Izzat your girlfriend?” The guy knew of Leo a bit, since he was the only straight guy on this floor of the dorms.

Leo nodded, “yeah, rough night.”

“Sounds like morning sickness to me.” The other guy joked before going on to wash his hands and leave.

Leo didn’t take it as a joke though. It was morning, after all. And he couldn’t remember what happened last night. And Sorcha didn’t like him, so maybe their mom told them not to get a boyfriend because they’d just end up pregnant. Is this why they were saying their mom was right? Did he get them pregnant? How did they know?! He swallowed hard. Once they were done he finally spoke, “you uh, you ok in there?”

Sal wasn’t exactly listening to anything going on around them as they heaved. When they’d felt like they weren’t going to barf anymore, they responded to Leo “y-yeah. I’m ok.. God i need a shower…I need to go home..” they wiped the tears from their face and walked out, feeling embarrassed and filthy, recalling the previous night along with starting the morning like this. They shifted on their feet in front of Leo “erm…I-I’m sorry, for all this…I don’ think i shoulda drank that much..” they started making lists in their head, they had a ton to do “I need to clean up and change and get all these…and your clothes, washed…” listing mentally they also needed to take their meds.

“You don’t have to worry bout my clothes, it’s alright.” He put his hand on their hips as he walked, “just pick up your things and I’ll drive you home.”. He opened the door to the bedroom for them, and found that Petey had wrapped up the piss soaked bag up a plastic garbage bag. Petey wasn’t there though, from the clock it looked like he was in class.

Sal sighed, leaning on Leo when they were in the room, they’d recalled a lot in the last hour of barfing, and they still couldn’t believe they’d pissed themself, and on Leo for that matter. Along with saying they loved him. In a filthy abandoned building. after pissing on him. God, that was such an awkward memory for the first time, they wondered if Leo remembered. They held his hands, playing with his fingers. Maybe he didn’t. Though would now really be a better memory for it? They decided to stay cautious, “um, other than the…messes…was…was the night ok? I’m sorry if I was obnoxious or anything, I oh jeez, I wasn’t really thinking…and I’m sorry if I said anything, um…stupid…”

Leo tried his best to remember what had happened last night, a few vague pieces coming to mind. Mostly being afraid of a ghost coming to get them and them having 'fun’. And them…saying they loved him. Oh god, oh no. He hoped that didn’t mean they bonded souls or something. He looked down at them, trying not to show how goddamn nervous he was. “It’s ok,” he kissed the top of their head, “we’ll deal with it. No matter what though, I still love you.”

oh jee, Leo did remember. They covered their face at first, embarrassed and flustered before putting their arms around Leo’s neck and hugging him. Obviously a kiss was out of the question, they needed to brush their teeth, especially after barfing. And so did Leo, probably, even if they hadn’t barfed, being clean was important. “I love you too, Leo!” they of course had no idea what Leo was thinking about pregnancy, they were just excited their feelings were returned and not a drunken slip of the tongue. They pulled away, holding his hands again and smiling at him apologetically “please take me home now though, I really really need to get clean..”

“Absolutely, here.” Leo grabbed up their stuff, “you wanna borrow a pair of my shorts or are you ok without bottoms?”. He was fine going without a shirt, but he figured they would want something more than just boxers.

“Ah, yes please, I’m not sure the other people in my building would appreciate me walking in underwear.” they’d take whatever was offered to them, sure they probably wouldn’t fit well, but they’d work for the trip home.

Leo looked Sal over, checking their size, and made a tough decision. He knew Petey was gonna kill him later, but he grabbed one of Petey’s pants out of his laundry. He looked Sal in the eye, “please don’t tell him.” and handed them to Sal.

Sal smiled, laughing a little at how serious Leo was about it, maybe Petey didn’t like sharing clothes. “Oh gosh, ok. I promise I’ll return them clean and unharmed.” they held onto the table, feeling a little unstable still, as they pulled the pants on, ready to go home and wash themself for probably 2 hours.

Once they were ready Leo led them out to his piece of shit car and drove them the few blocks home. He couldn’t help but look down over at their stomach when he helped them out of the car. “You, uh, need help to make sure you get to bed ok?”.

Sal tilted their head, thinking Leo was sweet for being worried about them, though not understanding the look over. “don’t worry, I’m ok Leo. and it’s much too early for bed, i have things and work to do after I get cleaned up.” hangover was kicking in, but they weren’t willing to sleep it off, that’d be a waste of their day. They gave him a kiss on the cheek, “would you like to come over tomorrow and watch a movie?”

“Y-yeah I can do that.” He stuck his hands in his pockets. He suddenly felt stupid for offering. It wasn’t his place. He said goodbye to them and went to his car, but didn’t quite start it yet. He just sat in the front seat a second, thinking. He pulled up his soul, no new marks. No new marks. He put it back in its place before propping his arms on the steering wheel and resting his forehead against it. It wasn’t his place.

[fallen029]

Pitching a Tent

Over the past few years, it became rather known in the Fairy Tail guild that there wasn't a damn thing Laxus Dreyar wouldn't do for his demon, Mirajane Strauss. He was devoted beyond belief. Would stay up at the hall with her until midnight as she closed up, just so he could walk her home. Even put in a few shifts if she was short handed. Was willing to go out on group dates with her siblings. Anything for her.

Anything.

Except the huge big get away with the Thunder Strauss Tribe (bleh, her words, not his; made him wanna vomit) that she had been begging him for since, oh, nearly the start of their relationship. A lot of it had to do with the fact that his damn followers were such, well, followers that the second he snatched up a Strauss, it was all they could do to stop themselves from doing the same. Freed, of course, was the odd man out, but made up for this in the only way he knew how.

He became best friends with Mirajane.

Which was even more annoying, but not enough to outweigh the annoyance that Laxus felt from the demon's insistence that they all go on some big vacation together because, hell, they were one big family. And a family vacation would be great.

Right?

Right?

Wrong.

So wrong.

So very wrong that Laxus didn't understand why he said yes.

Err, well, in a way he did, as it was Mirajane asking him. And, as with all things, the demon knew how to wear him down eventually. Her own special secret. Namely, she begged and pleaded and promised him things. Wondrous things. Sensual things. And, when that failed, she started banning him from things. Wondrous thing. Sensual things.

Heh.

Well, anyhow, eventually Laxus broke down and agreed to go on the trip with them all. A long weekend. Friday and go back Monday. Would be fine, he figured. It was fall then and the beach was out, being so cold and all, but he figured they could get some cabins out in some woods and spend some nice time up there.

Until Mirajane told him that, while the woods would be involved, cabins definitely were out.

"What do you mean?" he asked as she only grinned at him, those deep blues shining as if she had something up her sleeve. The thing was though, Mirajane always had something up her sleeve. Why he continually chose to be shocked by that, he would never know. "No cabins. Mirajane. Mira. Answer me. What do you mean?"

"I mean," she sang as she leaned across the bar that she was supposed to be tending, instead neglected as she taunted her boyfriend. It was okay though; as the grandson of the Master, Laxus held some clout.

Other than, like, with the Master, but whatever.

"That," she was continuing as he only continued to watch her closely. The demon was a tricky one, but it was one of the most attractive things about her.

Right up there with her breasts. And tight little ass. And the way that when she was turned on, she'd call him dragon (or even when she wasn't).

But, yeah, the tricky thing definitely up there. Somewhere.

"We should get," Mira was saying all slow like. It was allowing him to contemplate many things in between, but was also getting on his nerves.

Severely.

"Yeah, yeah, what?" he prompted. "What is it that you want to do?"

"Not too bright, are ya, Laxus?"

That came from Lisanna, who was passing with a pitcher of beer and no doubt had already been keyed in by her sister on exactly what they were going to do.

Ugh. Sisters were annoying. Especially when he was committed to one and couldn't fuck around with the other because he was all in love and shit.

Bleh. What had the demon done to him?

Growling, he sent Lisanna a glare as Mira only giggled.

"What," he repeated loudly then, "are the two of us going to be doing? Huh?"

"Well," Mira tried again, still leaning over the bar. "I thought it would be fun to go camping."

Laxus blinked. Then he frowned. "Camping."

"Uh-huh."

'The thing that I do, like, every single time that I go out on a long job?"

"That's the one."

"And now you want me to do it as my vacation?"

"Well, on the bright side, you already have a tent, so-"

"I am not," he told her harshly, "going out into the woods with your bumbling siblings and the Thunder Legion-"

"Thunder Strauss Tribe," she coughed.

"-as vacation. No. I refuse."

"That's not an option, dragon."

"The hell it ain't."

"Watch your mouth."

"No. Damn it, Mira-"

"No more beer for you." She snatched up his mug, just like that, before turning to walk off and no doubt get back to work. In a much louder voice, she called out, "Did you hear that, Lisanna? No more beer for Laxus."

Lisanna hear it? The whole dang bar heard it! And it was so fucking embarrassing. What the hell was wrong with Mira?

Huh?

He even heard a few snickers, over from the other tables. And, with a growl, he shoved up to storm out. First though, he shot a bolt of lightning out, in the direction of one of the tables, it connecting with another slayer's face.

"The fuck?" Gajeel growled as Levy, who was seated with him, fell over with even more giggles. "I wasn't the one laughin'! She was!"

And then Lily actually did fall over, right off the table where he was standing, all due to laughter.

Whatever. Laxus was done with them. With all of them. Especially Mirajane.

You know, until she came around his place that night bearing steak, potatoes, and a case of beer.

"I thought," he grumbled as she just keyed her way into the place (he regretted giving her one every day...mostly), "that I wasn't allowed beer?"

"At the bar, silly." He was resting on the couch, which was right at the entrance, and Mira headed over without fear of being rebuked. She was the demon; she could do whatever she wanted to the dragon. In fact, it was kinda their thing. "You can drink here."

"Damn straight I can. This is my damn-"

"Watch your mouth."

Sigh.

Sitting up, Laxus allowed Mirajane to take a seat next to him. The dish was covered at that point, in tinfoil, but he could smell what it was covering anyhow and snatched it from her hands.

"Rare?"

"Still bloody," she confirmed as she sat his beers down on the coffee table. "Let me go get you a knife and for- Laxus Dreyar! We do not eat with our hands!"

Maybe she didn't, but…

After that whole debacle, Mirajane skated around the elephant in the room like the expert she was, avoiding bringing up camping or tents or anything of the like. She knew what she was doing, his woman did.

Another attractive thing. Mirajane was large and in charge. Even of him.

Okay, so not always attractive and, sure, occasionally unattractive, but Laxus was feeling a bit...turned on that night by it. She wouldn't let him start any conversations. At all. She hardly let him speak! It was so...so…

Something.

He wasn't sure. Any other night he'd have probably hated it or at least told her that she needed to knock it off, but it had been awhile for them. He'd been out on jobs and she had her job up at the hall and, well, the beer was settling nice on his mind and she just kept talking and talking and talking…

Somehow, of course, they wound up in his bedroom because it was late and she was tired, but she couldn't be that tired, right? She was clearly leading him on. She knew what bossiness did to him. And when they settled on the bed, she was all over him. Laying against him, stroking his chest, going on and on about the bar and how they were overdrawn that day, but she'd just miscounted and gosh, her breasts felt night against him when she laid like that. Real nice.

And she was still stroking his chest and it felt so nice because, well, he hadn't taken his shirt off, but she'd unbuttoned it and she was feeling on every inch of it and man, his tattoo was so intricate it seemed, because she was tracing it forever and he got lost in it and her words which had moved on to something about what she ate for dinner, but it didn't sound like much of a dinner to him, because she never mentioned any meat. Damn demon.

What's dinner without meat? Huh?

'You're drunk," she accused as his eyes lulled shut. "Dragon."

"No." And he wasn't. Just buzzed. Thank you. "Am not."

"Mmmm." More stroking. Of his chest. And lower. On his tummy. It felt just as nice. His demon was a pleaser. "You know what I feel like, dragon?"

He had an idea. A great one. But as he was getting prepped to reveal it, she spoke.

"Camping."

And he barfed.

Mentally, of course.

Because he was just buzzed.

"Wha'? Mira-"

"I just think," she sighed softly, still gently running a finger around the edges of his tattoo, "that the two of us could have a lotta fun."

"Fun, huh?"

"Sure, dragon." Humming, she took to adding incentives. "Tiny tent with just me and you, snuggling up in our sleeping bags, but ooh, dragon."

"What?"

"I think I just heard something outside the tent. So now I have to slip over into yours, but we don't fit, but that's okay, because we'll just sleep atop the sleeping bags." All the while she was talking, her hand kept rubbing gently up and down his chest, almost flowing perfectly with her words. "But it's getting so cold recently, at night. Especially out in the woods. Not to fear though, is what you'd probably tell me, because you'd have your big fluffy coat for us to snuggle up under and I'd hold onto you because I love you and I'd feel so grateful towards you for warming me up that, well, I might just do anything you ask."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Even…that thing?"

"Mmmm. Just the thought of it, in that cramped little space, makes me wanna rush out and find us a place to camp right now," she told him with bright eyes. "Doesn't it you?"

Most certainly. Which is why that's exactly what they did. That very next weekend, Laxus packed a bag, some snacks, and the demon up before taking off for a very secluded and cozy woods.

Unfortunately though, Mira over-packed. On people that is.

"Are we there yet? I'm so bored of walking."

On a lot of people.

"Cheer up, Lissy. At least we all get to hang out with boss, yeah?"

And even more people.

"He ain't my boss. He ain't man enough to be!"

Then some more.

"Hush, Elfman. He wasn't even talking to you."

And the last one.

"He is correct though, Ever. Laxus is far too manly to have anything to do with-"

"Damn it, Freed," Elfman growled, glaring over at the other guy. "I said that he wasn't manly enough! No one's as manly as me!"

"I feel like I'm pretty manly," Bickslow told them all. "Personally."

"I mean, if it's a contest," Lisanna added, "Ever probably has us all beat."

"By a long shot, Lissy."

That got them a cold glare from the woman and a swift reminder of the fact that resources were diminishing and Ever was quite the ecologist. In fact, she felt like making a big donation to the forest in stone.

Laxus though only glared back at them from where he was walking in front of the others, Mira next to him, trying to use his headphones to block them out. But the demon had this rule, see, about how his headphones could only be set to a certain volume or else she would take it away because, you know, the demon was kooky and didn't realize that the dragon needed all that noise blocking to keep his sanity.

There. He figured it out. That was what Mirajane did to him. She made him insane. Constantly. Every single day that they spent together (and occasionally the ones they didn't) was filled with mind numbing aggravations all due to the fact that the demon had limited his music listening volumes.

Seriously. He'd given it a lot of (half ass) thought.

"Would you," he growled over his shoulder at the others, "all shut up?"

"Now, dragon," Mira warned slowly. "What do we do when the others get you all frazzled?"

"I'm not...frazzled," he growled. "I'm-"

"Frazzled."

"Mira-"

"Careful, Laxus," Lisanna giggled from behind his back. "You get too frazzled and you might have to go into timeout."

"That's not a thing," Bickslow complained. "Mirajane doesn't make the boss do that. Boss, dose she make you do that?"

Grunt.

"Do that?" the man's dolls all sang. "Do that, boss?"

"Perhaps," Freed suggested then, "we could all stop picking at Laxus? Hmmm?"

"Thank you." Laxus turned around then, though he continued to walk backwards, just so he could point at Freed. "How is it that you're the only one that cares about me? Huh?"

"We all care," Ever said, though she was still busy glaring at Bickslow. "Freed's just a suck up."

"Hardly," the letter mage complained. "I am only saying the thing that you should all be thinking. Laxus is our fearless leader in all things."

"Maybe for Mirajane," Lisanna complained. 'Or for you guys. But definitely not me and Elf."

"Definitely," the muscular man growled, "not."

"I don't know if he's mine either," Mira said, glancing over at her boyfriend. "And Lax, turn back around."

"No."

"You're gonna trip."

"I am not."

"Okay, but when you trip and break your leg, don't whine when I make Elf carry you."

"No," Elfman said loudly. "A definitely not to that too."

"You will carry him," Ever hissed, glaring over at her boyfriend, "if he breaks his leg."

"Ever-"

"I mean it. You will."

More growls from the slayer. "I'm not going to break my- Oof."

And then he fell. But it wasn't his fault! It was Mirajane's. For putting the idea in his head. Not to mention dragging him out there. Her fault.

No. Her siblings. Because the demon, the cute little demon that was staring down at him in concern, was too amazing to be blamed for anything. It was her damn dopey brother and dorky sister that ruined it all by clearly implanting some sort of disease into the brains of his followers and seducing them with their disgusting Strauss ways.

Believe him, he knew all about those ways from Mirajane. Nearly impossible to resist. No joke.

"Dragon." Mira's eyes were round and for some reason she looked like she was spinning. Or was he spinning? Or was it the world? No, yeah, the world was definitely spinning. Perhaps even more than usual. "Are you okay?"

Grunt. His head hurt. He must have smacked it.

"Can you stand?" Freed was there too, looking down on him. And Bickslow. And Ever. Lisanna too. No Elfman, but he was probably just keeping his distance. "Laxus? If anyone must carry you, it shall be I!"

"Freed," Lisanna whispered. "He's, like, way bigger than you."

"I do not care."

"Yeah, well, since it ain't happenin' anyways," Bickslow grumbled, staring down at Laxus through his visor, "maybe we should try a different line of questioning, huh?"

"Here." Ever held out a hand for him to take, but he only laid there. "Let me help you."

Mira looked pretty was the only thing he thought of then. Even when she was spinning. Mmmm. Demon.

"Poor dragon." She wasted no time into transforming then, into her Satan Soul transformation. It surprised everyone other than Laxus, who was still rather dazed, as the others all took a step back.

"Uh, sis-" Lisanna tried, but once the tiles disappeared, Satan Soul on reached down to snatch Laxus right up.

It was rather odd too and just awkward all around, the way that Laxus only laid there in her arms as Mirajane stared down at him.

"I," she said, voice quite a few octaves deeper in her transformation, "will carry you the rest of the way."

"Mmmm." Laxus blinked. Mirajane. As a demon. His demon. Carrying him. "Mira."

It was so comforting. Mira taking care of him. She was so great. Taking charge. Again. And she knew how that made him feel. And hell, her doing it as Satan Soul? So sexy. She was so...

Wait. Blinking some more, he suddenly realized something. They weren't alone. At home. He hadn't slipped in the shower or tripped over the couch and needed her assistance. They were out in the woods with the others and, once more, his woman, the one that was supposed to do whatever he told her to, do all his bidding, was demeaning him in front of the others. For, oh, the millionth time.

"Put," he growled, "me down! What do you think this is, Mirajane?"

Satan Soul was a lot less giggly than Mirajane though and only continued walking. A whole lot less agreeable too.

"You are injured. I am only-"

"Damn it, demon. You're about to get a fist full of lightning."

"Yes!" Bickslow punched the air, hurrying along then so he could get to the front of the group. "I wanna see this."

"Laxus is clearly concussed," Freed sighed. "Perhaps we should stop our hike here for a time. Surely we can all use a rest."

"I kinda like when Mira carries Laxus," Lisanna giggled. "It's almost like she's carrying him over the threshold."

"Threshold of what?" Bickslow asked, five little voices echoing this question. "Pain? Tolerance? Emotion?"

"The house, you idiot," Ever sighed.

"Boss and Mirajane bought a house? Wow! When's the party? Or did you not invite me? Forget to? Invitation lost in the mail? Answer me, boss! Answer me!"

Laxus was, of course, ignoring him while he had it out with Satan Soul and everyone else was also ignoring him, but that was okay, because his words were only for the benefit of Lisanna. She always listened. And always laughed. The kid was great. Really, she was.

"Mirajane," Laxus was growling then because, hey, he was done with being carried. Really, he was. It was just...well, he was still a tad woozy. "Put me down."

"Dragon-"

"Now!"

She took a few more steps, careful with him then so that she didn't bump his head into any passing trees before finally coming to a stop.

"That's fine," she said, voice all deep and heavy. Leaning down, Satan Soul gently placed him on the ground. "We're here."

It was a clearing that Lisanna and Mirajane had, according to the latter, frequented a lot when they were young.

"We used to camp all the time," she told Laxus. "To get away from the hall. And Elfman when he was on our nerves. It was so much fun. There's a river that runs real close to the clearing and tons of fish. Tons."

Which sounded like hell to Laxus. Or at least a hell of a lot like going out on a job. The hiking there was never fun to Laxus. As a slayer though, he suffered from some motion sickness when he took other ways of transportation (albeit rather mild) and had to walk most places. Either that or lose his lunch. Maybe.

And, as he sat up, still dazed, Laxus found that it was much of how he'd predicted. Just a normal clearing. For normal clearing activities.

Hmmm. All he had to do was make it to the night, he tried to remind himself. Every night, really, but that first one would be the best. The others would be all tired for the long journey there and he and the demon could stay up late and just be together.

Now that sounded great.

"Here."

During his contemplation, Satan Soul had disappeared back into his normal, perky demon who was leaning down to gently pry his backpack from his shoulders and take his headphones off.

"Now lay down," she said. "And Elf, hand him a bottle of water, huh? They're in Bickslow's pack."

"I'm not," Laxus grumbled, "helpless."

"You can be," Mirajane offered as Elfman did as she asked because, well, she might not be a man, but she was definitely manly. She could be his boss. It was fine with him if she was. Perhaps better than if she wasn't. "We'll set up camp, okay?"

"I," he growled, shoving her away as gently as one could while also delivering a message to back the fuck up before getting to his feet, "am setting up my own damn tent."

"Oh, Lax."

"Don't say that to me." He waved Elfman off when he came bearing a water bottle. Turning to his pack, he moved to detach the tent. "And the rest of you set up yours far away from me and the demon. Got it? We need our space."

"There's enough room in the clearing for all of us," Lisanna said with a roll of her eyes. "You big baby."

"Look, girlie, I ain't in the mood for-"

"A whole weekend of this," Ever sighed as she went to take a seat on a felled log at the edge of the clearing. Elfman would be, of course, constructing their tent solo. Then again, he did a lot of things in their relationship that way. "Remind me why I agreed?"

Because she didn't have a choice. If Laxus had to go, Bickslow had to go. And if Bickslow had to go, Ever had to go. Law of the land and all.

"Do not be so negative," Freed chided. He, of course, was going because he wanted to. Because he was crazy. "Mira planned a marvelous trip for us. I for one am appreciative."

"And also way too close," Laxus grumbled when he noted where the man was beginning to set up his tent. "So back away."

"Awe," Lisanna giggled as she and Bickslow helped one another put together theirs. It was so cute that it almost made Laxus gag. "Laxus is being assertive."

"That's my boss," Bickslow agreed, nodding approvingly, as if proud. "He's a real go getter."

"Uh-huh."

"I want them in another clearing," Laxus told Mirajane as she came over to assist him. "Now."

"Oh, dragon."

"Stop doing that to me!"

Things go even more aggravating when Bickslow decided to enchant the pieces of the tent and have his babies put them together for him and Lissy. Mainly because that freed Bickslow and Lisanna up to be aggravating.

"Look at my boss. He's great at putting tents together."

"I dunno. My sister, now, she's great at it. Look at that concentration."

"She's singing. Loudly. And carelessly putting things together."

"Yeah. She doesn't have to concentrate to do it. That's the point."

"Well, the boss, he ain't really paying attention either. Look! He's even comin' over here to say hi. Hi, boss! You- Ow, boss!"

"You two," he growled after smacking Bickslow in the head, "better shut up. Now."

"Laxus," Mirajane called over to him, still in a rather singsongy tone. "Leave them alone and come help me. And remember; violence solves nothing."

"It's gonna solve this."

"Dragon-"

"I just want some quiet," he told her then. All of them really. Ever glanced up from filing her nails with a nod of her head.

"Out here in the forest," she remarked, going back to her nails, "we should all get a bit of that."

So they sent Bickslow and Lisanna off, because quiet and them meant nothing unless they were sneaking around, spying on someone. Bickslow was stoked to go swimming in the river and, abandoning the tent making, he took the babies and Lisanna off to go do that with him.

Just them being gone brought Laxus some sort of relief. At least a tad. He was able to get his tent all set up and the demon wasn't bothering him much because she was busy helping Elfman get up his tent.

"Shouldn't one of us go supervise them?" Ever asked after about twenty minutes, when her nails were filed to perfection.

"Who?" Freed, long finished with his tent, had begun collecting fire wood, but was back in time to hear that.

"Bickslow and Lisanna," she said. "I mean those two idiots? In a flowing river?"

"They're not idiots," Mirajane complained. With a sigh, Laxus nodded.

"She's right," he agreed. "Until one of us is around. Then they pour on the idiocy to be entertaining. A lame attempt at that."

"Hmmm," Ever hummed, as if in deep contemplation over this. Then she shook her head. "Nope, they're just idiots."

"Bickslow, fine," Elfman grumbled. "But I know that my sister's not."

"Alright then, Evergreen," Laxus challenged. "If you think that they're such dummies that they can't be trusted around water, you go down there and watch them. Like that then?"

"No. Not at all."

"Too bad. Now scram."

With a huff, Ever got to her feet before stomping off in the direction the seith and his girlfriend had taken off in. That, of course, meant that Elfman had to go too because, well, just because. That left the dragon, the demon, and the deterrent.

"So," Freed began once it was just the three of them in the clearing. "I believe I have enough firewood now, so-"

"No, you don't."

"L-Laxus, I honestly do. Look. I think-"

"We need more."

"For what?"

"Are you doubting me, Freed?"

"N-No, I just-"

"Well, get to it, huh? And then go find the others and explain to them all, in full, just what kinda person I am."

"Laxus-"

"About how I don't take to others doubting me. Think you can handle that? Huh?"

"Y-Yes." Freed was rushing off then. "I will get right on that."

"Don't rush it. Speeches about me take time. Poise." Laxus stared up then, at the sky. "You should be gone for more than an hour. At least."

"O-Of course, Laxus. I am sorry for ever causing you to believe that I doubted you."

And then there were two. The perfect two. The only two. Laxus and his only one.

Gosh, he really hit his head hard.

"Well?" Mirajane prompted as he only sat down then, rubbing gently at the back of his noggin. Maybe he'd knocked something loose. "Are you going to tell me what that was all about?"

"What?" he grumbled, still rubbing. "He shouldn't doubt me."

"You," she accused, coming over to sit with him. They were next to their tent and Laxus was already figuring ways to drag her off in there. "Systematically got rid of every single one of our friends."

"I have no friends."

"Oh, Laxus."

"Mmmm." Leaning over, he moved to nuzzle his still sore head against hers. 'You think you can do something for me?"

"Depends on what it is, but ask away."

"You know that your magic confuses me."

"Sure. Your tiny dragon brain and all."

"So help me out here. Anyway you can turn into ice and, uh, help my head out here? Or what?"

"Dragon, are you honestly that hurt?" Mirajane lost all play in her voice then as she stared at him with heavy eyes. "We'll go home. Right now. To get your head looked at."

"I'm fine."

"But you just said-"

"Nothing a little, uh, cramped tent space wouldn't fix, yeah?"

Rolling her eyes extra heavily because she just could not believe that she'd fallen for that (and him for that matter), Mirajane said, "Never mind, Laxus."

"Demon-"

"Tonight."

"Tonight they'll all be...milling around," he said, gesturing to the clearing. "Right now though, I got 'em all good and gone and-"

"Tonight." That time her words were accompanied by a gentle press of her lips to his head before Mirajane got to her feet. "Now I'm going down to the river. Would you like to escort me there, dragon?"

He'd like to escort her somewhere, namely the tent (or back home for that matter), but still got to his feet with a grumble and a rub to the back of his head.

The things he did for the demon.

Heh.

Night didn't come fast enough. The food was lousy (fish sucked, especially when you had to catch it), the company was sub-par, and though his head got better from his previous injury, it did not stop hurting. Mainly because Bickslow and Lisanna did not stop annoying him. He thought a few times about taking them back to that river and electrocuting them to death, but he had a feeling that the demon wouldn't be one much up for that.

Hmmm. The demon. She sat in his lap a lot that day, though he couldn't tell if it was because she was cold, she wanted attention, or she was actually trying to be enticing for him. Laxus figured that it was none of those really, as Mira had a habit of just sitting there for no reason other than to be close to him. As much as he avoided admitting it, even in his own mind, he and the demon were rather attached.

It was late into the night when the others finally started shifting off and into their tents. Laxus was mostly interested in how Ever and Elfman's time in theirs would go. It was big, fine, but he knew Ever. And he knew Elfman. Just spelled disaster, that did. The poor dope would probably end up sleeping by the campfire in his sleeping bag (if Ever was kind enough to give him that much dignity; she typically wasn't).

Bickslow and Lisanna were the last to retire, as they sat around the fire and joked and giggled with one another because they were just so in love and happy and bleh. Bleh! Laxus hated it all.

Other than when he got the demon back to their tent. That was pretty good. She smelt real nice. Kinda like the river, 'cause she'd be in it, and a tad like fish, since she'd cooked them, but still like the demon. Always like the demon.

"Now, Lax," she began as, in that cramped, tiny tent she began to change into something more comfortable for bed. He just sat there, enjoying the scene. "You know you hit your head earlier today."

Well, duh. How could he forget that?

Unless, like, he hit his head way harder than he had.

"Which means," Mirajane was going on as he only sat there, anticipation plain on his face. Usually he wasn't one for big emotions, but for his demon, he let the veneer fall and his inner (way inner) self come out. "That you might have a concussion."

And there went all that excitement. Face falling, he said, "Mirajane, I-"

"Hush." Shifting around to face him once she was all changed, she said, "Let me talk."

Growl. But one of defeat.

"Part of concussion protocol," she began as she edged right over to his half of the tent and into his lap. "Is not falling asleep. You know, so you don't die or something?"

"Or something?"

"I'm a tad fuzzy on that bit."

"Ah."

"The point though," she said, leaning her head forwards so that it could rest against his, "is that I am not going to let you sleep a wink tonight. You know, for your health."

"Mmmm." And he was back into it. Full on. From the start. Her hips were moving just right, in the way that she knew how, because she was just amazing and his and man, if she would just get to the part she'd promised, he'd pay her back tenfold. "My demon."

"Let's get you out of this shirt now, huh? And these pesky pants. Why do you wear pants?"

"Because I have decency, woman."

"You should wear shorts. You have sexy legs."

"You're crazy."

Mira only giggled though and he nuzzled his head against hers.

"I actually get that a lot," he said then.

"Hmmm?" She was working on his shirt and hardly glanced up.

"About my legs. Their attractiveness."

"Oh, whatever."

"They're definitely up there with some of my best attributes."

"As far as I know, you think all of your attributes are you best ones."

"Well, is it a lie?"

"Oh, dragon."

That time, she could say that. It was the perfect time for it in fact.

They were both busy, wiggling him out of his pants, when it happened.

Lisanna screamed.

It startled both Laxus and Mirajane and, if his hearing told him anything, freaked Elfman out enough that he attempted to rush out of his and Ever's tent and somehow took it all down in the process.

Then Ever was screaming. But it was less in terror and more in pure provocation. And also involved some threats of murder, but that was rather usual for the two of them.

"What is it?" Laxus came stumbling out of his and Mira's tent in only his boxers. "Lisanna? Where are you?"

The fire was out and Ever and Elfman were trapped in their downed tent, trying to fight their way out while yelling at one another, but there was no Lisanna. Ignoring the fact that he had no shoes on (or pants or a shirt and was still sporting a halfie), Laxus took off running in the direction that he smelt Lisanna's scent go.

"Lisanna!" Mirajane was still in what she'd changed into (Laxus was rather focused on himself that night, it seemed). "Where are you? Laxus, wait for me!"

Elfman, finally, figured out how to get out of the tent and took off after them, yelling the whole way about how dare someone touch his baby sister or something of the sort. Evergreen was quick to follow, though that was more because she was chasing after him, threatening him the entire way.

The last person in the clearing it appeared was Freed, who only exited his tent slowly before looking up.

"So," the letter mage said loudly, staring up at one of the trees were Lisanna was seated, trying to hold down her giggles, along with a visor-less Bickslow, grinning widely as his tongue hung down, and two of his babies. "Are the two of you going to explain yourselves or should I begin guessing?"

"Awe, man." Bickslow, with no caution to the fact that he was very high up, took a dive off the branch before landing gracefully in the clearing. "You saw us climb up here?"

"No," Freed hummed. "Rather, I'm not as foolhardy as the others."

"Whatever that means," Lisanna said, transforming into her bird soul for only a moment, just long enough to flap down to the ground as well.

"Best prank ever," Bickslow congratulated himself and Lisanna alike, the two high-fiving. Freed only stared.

"All you did," he complained, "was climb up a tree and scream. You cannot honestly believe that-"

"Na-ah." Lisanna crossed her arms over her chest. "We put some of our clothes on the Puppu, Poppo, and Peppe."

"And why would you do-"

"Laxus' tracks scents, yeah?" Bickslow was clearly proud of himself, tongue wagging the entire time. "So he'll be chasing those three around the forest all night!"

That time, the duo fist bumped. Then yawned, almost in sync.

"Welp," Lisanna said through it, heading over their tent. "Time to hit the sack."

"What?" Freed frowned. "You just sent them out on a wile goose chase-"

"Yeah and it was a lotta work, plannin' it and all." Bickslow waved him off. "Night then, buddy. And, uh, if the tent's a rockin', yeah? You know the rest."

"You two are unbelievable," was all he said to which they both ignored him. "Truly."

Yeah, they knew.

Eventually, of course, the little dolls got tired of their game and led the group back to camp where Laxus none-too-kindly barged into their papa's tent to mangle his body some. With his fists. And lightning. To the death. Until Mirajane and Elfman pulled him off.

Apparently, Laxus was not into pranks. As they found out. Again. Honestly, Lisanna just thought he didn't have a sense of humor.

"I," Laxus grumbled as he and Mira, finally, settled back into their tent, "hate them. I hate them. Both of them. They're idiots and I hate them. Did I mention that I hate them?"

"Oh, dragon, it was just a joke." She sighed as she stared over at him. "And I thought it was cute the way that you ran after Lisanna."

"The hell was I supposed to do? I thought she got, like, kidnapped or something. What? You thought I'd just stay in here and let you-"

"It was just nice," she told him simply. "Really nice."

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it. Because-"

"Really," Mira continued as she scooted over to him, "really nice. It's so attractive, you know."

"I know," he said though he wasn't completely sure what she was talking about. Probably him looking out for her sister, but at the same time, hey. Everything on and about him was attractive. Who knew what she was saying? And who cared? He was still, without a dash of bashfulness, in his boxers and more than ready for that special cramped tent time that had been dangled in front of him before. "So attractive."

He wasn't talking about himself then though because Mirajane, for some reason, forgot that the whole night was supposed to be about him and was starting to take off what she had on which, fine, was great and awesome and he liked a view, but if she for one second thought that they weren't getting right back to where they left off, then she was crazy.

"Dragon."

"Hmmm?"

"You know that we have to be quiet, huh?"

"So quiet," he agreed to which she giggled because he was helping her then, undress, but just as quickly he was speaking again. "If I was anyone else."

"Here we go."

"I'm the fucking Thunder God. They should all hear me pleasure you and be pleasured in return."

Mira's face was indescribable. Mainly because it was too dark in the tent to see it. But he had a pretty good idea which one she was making.

"I've never thought about what the opposite of a voyeur is, but you are definitely afflicted with- Laxus!"

He was tired of listening to her talk. Completely. Seizing her distraction, he sat up slightly, burying his head in her breasts and nuzzling. Mmmm. Maybe camping wasn't so-

"Fine! I'll just go live out in the woods all alone. Is that what you want, Ever?"

"No, Elfman. I want you to not, gee, break the freaking tent-"

"Oh? You mean the tent that you had absolutely nothing to do with putting together? That one?"

"Yes!"

Mira and Laxus both froze for a moment before he just went back to nuzzling.

"Dragon-"

"Ignore 'em," he breathed. "And I think I was promised something special for coming out here, demon. You gonna get on that? Or should I say around?'

But he'd lost her then as she gazed at the zipped up entrance to their tent. "I hope that Elf is okay."

Growling, Laxus said, "Don't mention that dope's name around me. Not when I'm gettin' ready to-"

"Hush." She wasn't paying attention to him. "I'm trying to listen. Is Elf crying?"

"The hell am I supposed to know that?" More growls. "Mirajane-"

"I'll be back." And then she kissed him, surprising the slayer for a moment due to the deepness of it. She even went as far as pushing him onto his back once more and, for a moment, Laxus thought that he would be getting a bit more. Alas, it was only served as a distraction for her to hastily pull back on a shirt and slink out of their tent and out to the clearing, to check on her brother. Unable to contain himself, Laxus only growled out a soft warning to her.

"You take too long and I'll just take care of myself in here. How would you like that?"

"Actually," she mumbled just loud enough for him to hear, "I'd like that a lot."

"Mirajane-"

"I'll be right back."

Huffing, he only crossed his arms over his chest and waited. And waited. And waited some more. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't Ever and Elfman just strangle one another silently in their tent and not bother him at all? Huh? Was that just too much to ask for or what?

Apparently.

Sheesh. Where could a dragon go to shag his demon? Huh?

Eventually she came back, but he'd already gotten his headphones on and was not amused by her in the slightest.

"Elf and Ever are all made up," she told him. "Well, Ever's bunking with Freed, which I thought was a weird agreement for Elfman to make, but they all seemed fine with it and I guess it's not any of my business. I mean, you don't think they'd do anything together, do you?"

"You're the one that calls us one big family."

"Oh yeah."

"Now come here. I wanna-"

"Dragon, I'm tired." She fell into the sleeping bag next to his. "We have all weekend to-"

Pulling off his head phones, he said, "No. I was promised now."

"Laxus-"

"I'm getting it one way or another."

"You sound rapey."

"Do not."

"Totally do."

"Well, I didn't mean it that way."

"Yeah, I know, but you should really rephrase-"

"Never mind then."

"Dragon-"

"No." He turned to face away from her. "I'll just lay here, horribly uncomfortable for a multitude of reasons ranging from how you dragged me out to the woods and made me sleep on this horrible sleeping bag to the way that I keep getting my emotions toyed with-"

"Your emotions, huh?" Mira yawned as she moved to snuggle into his back. "Is that what we're calling it now?"

"My blood can't keep up with all these confusing signals. Pick a place for it, Mirajane."

"You're so weird." Kissing at his back then, she whispered, "And if you roll back over, maybe I'll have decided by now."

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not just a toy, Mira. You can't just turn me on and off."

"So weird." More back kisses. "And just admit it's because you're old."

"I'm not old."

"You're horribly old."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"If I'm old-"

"Horribly old."

"Right. If I'm horribly old-"

"And you are."

"Then that means that you're old."

"Huh?"

"You heard me." Finally, he rolled around to face her. "If I'm horribly old, than you, being only a few years younger, is at the very least old."

"I don't get it."

"You don't get it or you're just pretending to not get it?"

"Uh, do I have to answer that or-"

"No." Laxus moved to nuzzle his head against hers. "You definitely-"

"Oy, boss, are you still up?"

And there that went as the tent flap, which zipped on the inside, turned green, no doubt being enchanted by the seith, before unzipping itself. Then Bickslow was sticking his head in and staring at them.

"Oh. Wow. This place is pretty spacious. Me and Lissy hardly have any room in our tent." He just kept talking to as he crawled in there with them. "And it's so tall. You can practically stand. Oh, hi, Mrs. Boss."

Mira was blushing a bit, though she wasn't certain why, and didn't sit up as she said, "Hi."

"What," Laxus growled as he did sit up, just to glare at the seith. "Are you doing?"

"You got room for both sleeping bags? Wow. I was thinkin' that next time we all go campin'," Bickslow was saying as he settled in on the other side of Mirajane. It was very, very aggravating to Laxus. "We could get a huge tent and all stay in it together. I mean, it's just a thought, but-"

"Bickslow," the slayer grumbled. "What is it that you want?"

Blinking up at the top of the tent, he said, "It's kinda hard to say, boss, but, uh...well… I'm no good at this kinda stuff. You should ask Lissy. Or Ever. Saying sorry isn't my strong suit. That's what I'm doing, by the way. Apologizing. And wow, Mira, your skin is really soft."

"Thanks, I-"

"Stop...touching my demon!"

"I ain't tryin', boss," the seith defended. "Her leg just brushed mine and, well, it just sorta shocked me, yeah?"

"No," he complained. "No yeah. No nothing. Now get-"

"Boss, you ain't makin' this any easier. Now lady boss, if you'd kindly switches sides with me here so I can get closer to Laxus-"

"Well, I really would rather not, but-"

"Mira, don't move." Laxus grabbed her arm then. "And you get out, Bickslow. Right now."

"No way. Not until you apologize."

"What?"

"Oh. Heh." The seith scratched at his cheek. "I got confused. I mean not until I apologize."

"You have!"

"Not formally I haven't."

"Then do it and get the hell out! Me and Mirajane are in the middle of something."

"Something, ah?" Sighing, Bickslow shoved up and looked over at the both of them. His visor was off and his hair was a mess, but he only saluted them without a care.

"I'm sorry for making you chase my babies around the forest under the pretense that it was Mirajane's younger sister and that she was in danger. Pranks aren't funny. Unless the Thunder God is pulling them. I know that now and won't forget it."

"Yeah, that's great, Bickslow. Now scram."

"Aye-aye, boss." Another salute. And then Bickslow moved to get on his knees and crawl out. Only just as he was prepping to do so, the tent flap opened once more.

"You cannot," they all heard Lisanna hiss, "be serious."

"Lissy." Bickslow, still on his knees, held up a hand. "This is not what it looks-"

"You're spending special time with Mirajane and Laxus without me? Unfair, Bicks."

"That's," Laxus complained, "what this looks like?"

"What else could it possibly- Ew, Laxus. You're gross." Still, Lisanna only moved to crawl in there as well. "So? What are we talking about?"

"Well," Mira began slowly. "Bickslow was just telling me about how soft my skin is."

"Demon," Laxus complained. "And kid, knock it off!"

"No. I wanna be a part of this." She was moving to snuggle up there with them. "So, Mira, about your skin-"

"Out." There was no play in Laxus' voice any longer. "Now. All of you. Other than the demon."

"Well, I never," Bickslow complained. Honestly, he wanted to get back to his babies anyhow. "Come on, Lissy. We're not wanted here."

"No fair. You got more time with them than I did."

"And you get to spend more time with Ever and Elfman."

"Yeah, but that's punishment."

"Hehe. Why do you think I don't do it?"

"Out," Laxus yelled before getting up to go zip the tent back up. "You heathens."

And then there were two.

Again.

For the moment.

Because before he could even jump Mira, someone else was calling out to them.

"Ever," they heard someone say from outside the tent, "is no longer allowed to stay with me."

Freed. Now freaking Freed was interrupting them. Ha. It was almost funny. Almost.

"Go away," Laxus growled. "We're bus-"

But then it wasn't Freed talking. Oh, no. It couldn't be that easy. Instead, there was the sound of Ever at first complaining loudly about something that Laxus didn't quite catch and, of course, Elfman responding.

Loudly.

You know, because they were just loud people.

When Laxus wanted some.

When he wanted the demon, they were loud people.

Heh.

"-tell me what to do, Ever."

"The hell I can't."

"You told me that I could have the tent and you would sleep with Freed."

"Yeah, well, now I don't want to sleep with Freed, so-"

"And you think I do?"

"For the record," Laxus heard the letter mage complain. "I would not like to sleep with any of you either, so-"

"Would you all," the slayer growled as he hastily unzipped the tent once more before emerging once more, "shut the hell up?"

They were all out there, Bickslow and Lisanna either not making it back into their tent or rushing right back out at the sound of the argument, while Freed stood in front of his, arms crossed over his chest, glaring over at where Ever and Elfman were standing before theirs, arguing as they had the entire time. At the sound of Laxus' voice though, they each turned to glance at him.

"I tried to be nice," the slayer told them. "But you all-"

"No, you didn't." Lisanna frowned at him. "You hit Bickslow for playing a very innocent prank."

"I think," Freed sighed, "that innocent needs to be explained to you."

"Boss and I already made up though," the seith informed his girlfriend. "So-"

"Just let me fuck my demon in peace, alright?" Laxus looked at each of them in turn. Most of them look shocked. Elfman most of all. Bickslow though just nodded his head.

"No problem, boss." Salute. "We'll be, uh, waitin' here for you to finish. Then we can get back to the discussion on whether you've tried or not. For me, maybe at the start you weren't, but now, oh man have you been trying. Grade A effort, boss. Really. You-"

"Laxus." Mirajane was shoving her way out of the tent as well then. "Tell me I did not just hear you say what I think I did."

"You didn't hear what you think-"

"Don't just lie to me!"

"Then I don't know what you want, demon."

"I," Freed told them all loudly then. "Wish to retire for the evening. Ever is no longer my job."

"I'm not anyone's job, you little snake," she hissed, turning to glare back at him. "I have a tent. Elfman's the one that-"

"I put it together, I carried it here, dammit, it's mine!"

Bickslow snickered. "Look at 'em, Lissy. Pitiful, ain't it?"

"Completely."

Laxus only huffed. "Would you all just go to bed? Somewhere? Please? I suffered through a damn hike with you idiots, hit my head very hard trying to corral you, and now I can't get get the damn sex I was promised because you won't shut up? Seriously? You guys want my attention? Fine. You got it. Go to fucking bed, children. Now. And the next one that wakes me or the demon up can then explain to all the others what was so important that they got the whole trip canceled for everyone. Do I or do I not make myself very clear?"

There were a lot of grumbles. Especially from the two younger Strauss siblings. About how he wasn't their boss and all this other garb. Freed only nodded, as if in affirmation, before heading back into his tent while Ever mumbled something under her breath and went into the one that Elfman was going into and, though they both shoved at one another, Laxus figured they'd be good for the rest of the night.

Lisanna though stuck her tongue out at Laxus and her boyfriend saluted and winked at him before, finally, they went into their tent and zipped it up for the night.

Once more, for the last time, there were two. And then there was one as Mirajane only gave Laxus this horribly dirty glare and went back into the tent.

"What," he complained, quick to follow, "was that for?"

"You just told them that you wanted to… That's nasty, Laxus."

"Why? They'd figure out that was what we were doing at some point."

"Laxus-"

"I'm not even into it anymore, so whatever." Falling into his sleeping bag, he said, "This was your trip, woman. Do whatever you want with it."

"You big baby."

"I am not. And I have a head wound."

"Shut up, Laxus."

"You shut up."

"Excuse me?"

Against his sleeping bag, he grumbled, "My tummy hurts. That's why I'm being bad."

He knew that would get her, of course, as Mirajane loved it when Laxus not only let her treat him like a child, but also initiated it.

"Awe."

"I think it needs to be rubbed. That fish wasn't cooked well."

"Poor dragon."

"Poor me."

Slowly he rolled over and she moved to do just that. Stroke his tummy. Because he deserved it.

"You sounded very...fatherish out there."

He only grunted. "It's what they wanted. The little brats."

"You're just an old grump, aren't you?"

"Whatever gets results."

Sighing, Mira told him, "They are a bit annoying at times."

"At times? And what do you mean a bit?"

"Oh, dragon."

"This isn't the time to be- Oh." He wiggled his toes. "I mean, it can be that time. You know, where you tell me that and then you, well."

"Well.'

"Well."

"Mmmmm." Giggling, she said, "All this time and we still haven't gotten you out of the boxers."

"Please don't if we're not going through with it. It's kinda cold."

"Poor dragon."

"Poor me."

"You wanna get under the sleeping bag? Huh?"

Snicker. Not growl. Just that once.

"Why, demon, I think you read my-"

"Are you guys really gonna do it in there? Because that means that everyone can, right? Which opens up a very weird can of worms where we can all hear… And I don't want that. Please."

Now growl. And, "Lisanna, go to bed!"

"I agree with Lisanna," Elfman called out from his tent. "Sorry sis, but it's just weird."

"It is not," Laxus told them all harshly. "Now all of you go to sleep. Or don't. I don't care."

Then silence. For a good twenty seconds. Then Mira stared at Laxus.

"Are...we?" she asked softly. "Because I feel a bit awkward too."

"If you feel awkward, why didn't you-"

"I tried, but you were so intent on it. And then you got rapey-"

"I never got rapey!" Huffing, Laxus said, "I want to. They can all go to hell. Like what? We don't all have to put up with stuff? I'm the leader and what I say goes."

"Okay," Mira hummed. Only they both felt it then equally. The gaucheness of it all.

And that was when Laxus learned that no, he didn't like others listening in. At least not his family. It had never popped up before and, well, it did make him feel weird. And gross. And nasty.

Slowly, both he and Mirajane just looked at one another a knew that they were done for the night. No more attempts. Just done. Throwing in the towel. It was over.

Slipping back into his sleeping bag, Laxus said, "No more group trips."

"All I needed was one to feel complete anyways."

"Yeah, sure."

So they laid there for awhile, in silence, just watching one another. Laxus was already figuring a plan in his head, of when he could get the demon all alone and then make his move.

And of when he was going to make a break to use his lightning body magic to get him into a town to buy some ice. His head really wasn't okay.

"Well," Mira told him finally through a yawn and a snuggle deeper into her sleeping bag. "At least you learned something today."

"What's that?"

She didn't answer, but he knew what she was talking about. It was official. There were no marriages involved and Freed was left without anyone, but what could you do? They were a family. A weird, extremely dysfunctional family that he was pretty sure he was the head of. The father. The father that, at some point, had to go and knock over Lisanna and Bickslow's tent the second night because, apparently, they didn't think it was nasty when they all heard them (it was, totally, Laxus had no idea why he hadn't realized it before) and the one that also had to trade tents with Ever the third night because her and Elfman just weren't going to be able to sleep in the same one and eventually the father that they all cut the trip short for because of his concussion and they were all worried about.

But no, yeah, they were never going on another trip again. Ever. At all. So the demon could just stop talking about those reservations she would make for a hotel (because camping clearly wasn't their thing and no, she did not feel anymore complete) and instead focus on all the making up she was going to have to give to her dragon.

Heh. Having a family was a lot harder than he thought.

[parkerpetre]

Live and Let... Love?

Summary: Sometimes, going out of your comfort zone is worth it in the long run (Fluffy/Kinda Angst-y??)

Pairing: John Laurens x Reader

Warnings: Mild swearing, self-esteem issues (?), Modern AU

Request: 49 and 50 with john laurens (x reader) (anon)

Tags: @psychedemigod for editing and looking over this! You are a literal blessing, thank you so much @sunriseovertheroomwhereithappens I gotchu babe!

A/N: Here it is. The long awaited for first fic. Wow, this is exhilerating! Go easy on me, but feedback and *constructive* criticism is perfectly okay! Prompt list that the request is from is here. Also, listen to this for the full ~immersion~ effect

Askbox

“Hey, barkeep! Another round over ‘ere!”

You placed a hand on Gilbert’s shoulder. He whipped around with a drunken grin spread across his face. With a stern look, you said, “Laf, don’t you think you all have had enough? I don’t need barf all over my backseat.” Oh, why did you ever agree to be their designated driver? He tipped his head back and laughed heartily, the sound loud in the almost empty bar.

“(Y/N), I don’t think you understand, mon amie. Tonight is the night we let everything go. I think we deserve a little fun, no?” He kissed you sloppily on the cheek, but you just shook your head - although, you couldn’t help but be amused. You’ve learned that the gang unleashed a whole other side when they were drunk. Alex, the usually loud-mouthed bother, was sweet and attention-seeking. Was that him cuddling with Seabury? Hercules proved to be an amazing dancer, with Burr as his partner. As for John… Usually, he was a quiet boy, not one known for being ‘outgoing.’ But put a couple shots of tequila in him… well.

“(Y/N)!”

Speak of the devil.

You turned around, bracing yourself as John Laurens himself walked up to you. From 10 feet away, you could already smell the vodka on him. Nevertheless, you put on a tight-lipped smile and said, “Hey, John. You having fun there?”

He didn’t answer your question. Scanning you with intensity, he said bluntly, “You’re so beautiful.”

You took a step back, surprised. “Excuse me?”

John plopped onto one of the barstools, not breaking eye contact with you. “I said, you’re very beautiful. So much that you don’t even notice. I can assure you that I notice, (Y/N). See, that’s the problem! I can’t stop noticing.” He flung his hands through the air as he talked, then sighed, seemingly frustrated by your good looks.

Meanwhile, you were standing before him, dumbstruck. He’s drunk, (Y/N), you reminded yourself. He’s drunk and he’s rambling and he won’t remember this in the morning. Still, you took a seat next to him, hoping he wouldn’t remember how red your face probably was right about now. He held your gaze, a stupid grin on his freckled face. Damn it, he’s pretty. The pretty boy is calling me pretty. Oh, damn, I’m screwed…

“(Y/N), are you okay?” His slurred words brought you back from your thoughts. You smiled, nodding your head slowly.

“I-! think so….” Don’t get attached (Y/N), he doesn’t mean this, he doesn’t love you, are you kidding? He’s drunk… You willed your thoughts to shut up so you could actually think straight. Suddenly, a piano riff filled the small bar and John leaped up from his seat like a little kid.

“(Y/N)! It’s my song!” he said excitedly as you giggled.

“It is?” you said, amused. “I never knew you were a Journey fan, Laurens.” He ignored your sarcastic comment and enveloped your hand in his. You prayed he couldn’t hear how loud your heart was pounding.

“C’mon!” Before you could stop him, John had dragged you out onto the small dance floor in the back of the bar.

“John-” you began to protest, but he just spun you around, laughing.  You could feel your face grow red as he snaked a hand around your waist, his body pressed flush against yours.

“Just a city boy- c’mon, (Y/N), live a little!” He spun you around again, this time letting you go.

“Born and raised in South Detroit,” you sang loudly, smiling back at John. He had a point - even if there was no alcohol in your system, you deserved to let your guard down and live a little. You two danced the rest of the song, laughing and singing the classic at the top of your lungs. Sure, you turned a few heads (and not in a good way) but dancing with the love of your life was worth it. Three minutes later, you two collapsed onto stools, breathing hard.

“That- was- amazing,” you said between breaths. John was sat there in silence, staring at you, the dumb grin back on his face. A bit creeped out, you asked, “Laurens? Are you alright?”

“Marry me.”

Whatever the hell you were expecting him to say, it most certainly wasn’t that. All of a sudden, the man’s eyes widened and he leaped off the stool - much less excited than last time.

“Shit- Oh, shit, I- I’m sorry-” He stopped, his hands frozen in midair. “Did I say that out loud?” Swallowing, you nodded your head.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure you did.” John paled, and he seemed to sober up instantly

“(Y/N)...” he said softly, coming closer and placing a hand lightly on your shoulder. Before he could say anything else, you cut him off.

“Did you mean it?”

He look at you curiously. “Mean… what?”

“All those things you said before. Were they true? Do you think I’m beautiful?” He still looked confused, so you shrugged. “You seem more sober than you were 10 minutes ago. I’m just wondering.” Still, he said nothing. By now, you were pissed. “Oh. Okay. I get it. No, it’s fine.” I knew it, he was drunk, he doesn’t love me, how could I have even thought… The room seemed to spin. You vaguely remember pushing the door to the bar open to be greeted by the cool night air on your face. You were walking, but you didn’t know where you were going.

“(Y/N)! No, wait!” You whirled around, livid. Laurens skidded to a halt in front of you, panting.

“What?” You spat. “Have any more lies to tell?”

“(Y/N), you don’t understand. I-”

“I think I damn well understand! You-”

“I meant it.” You froze. “I meant every single word. Hell, I only had two shots tonight. In Laf’s book, I’m sober.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing - this couldn’t be real. “(Y/N), from the day I met you, you have proved to be the most amazing woman I have ever known. Everyday, I wonder what the hell I did to deserve meeting a girl like you.” He took your hand in his now, as gentle as ever. “I- I think-. No. I know. I love you, (Y/N), and I just wanted you to know that.”

Time seemed to come to a halt as you leaned and pressed your lips against his, enveloping the two of you in a sweet kiss. You rested your forehead against his when you parted for air. “I love you too,” you whispered to him. John stepped away, giggling like a schoolgirl.

“You do?”

“I do!”

John whisked you up in the air and spun you around. You swatted at him playfully as he set you back down. Laurens grabbed your hand, and you let him whisk you away for the second time that night - this time back into the bar.

“Yo, guys! I got myself a girl!” he yelled. You covered your face with your hands as the gang cheered and wolf-whistled. John planted a kiss on your red cheek. “And a beautiful one at that.”

[latitudelongitudegratitudein]

The alter ego I left behind in 2016

Hey boys! Who wants to go on a date with Satan? Come on down.

What would you think if someone offered to set you up on a date with a girl named Satan?  

We’ve all heard about a girl that’s like Satan. She parties hard, drawing boundaries only around the things she has yet to do. She shows up in your life one day with her amazing shoes, brand new convertible, and whispers kinky things into your ear with her raspy voice (just like Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled) Who wouldn’t want to make a pact with the devil knowing that doing so would mean having the time of your life?  

Let’s be real though, Satan is one of those “hot mess” girls (View Cobra Starship’s “Hot Mess” music video). A girl that is BFF’S with Ke$ha and vomits glitter for fun. The kind of girl who is a blast to be around but turns out to just be loose cannon after all. A girl whose life is a never ending party, always moving on to the next party, drink, bro.

She has been drunk for so long she can drink virtually anyone under the table, even men and her superpower is being insusceptible to hangovers (take that Batman). Basically, Satan has been avoiding responsibility all her life and is completely out of touch with herself.

Now, would a bro want to hang out with Satan? Hell yeah. Would a nice, responsible guy with a fully vested 401K want to go on a date with Satan? Probably not. Would she be someone they would take seriously? You guessed right. Nope.

Guys don’t want to date let alone “wife up” a girl who they think has seen, been, and experienced everything. Where’s the adventure in that, right? Not saying she has, but she makes it SEEM like it. It’s just the way the world works. Perception is reality.

Unfortunately for Satan, she seems all over the place. A party girl is...Well, let’s just take a trip down definition lane. If you were thinking Merriam-Webster you would be terribly wrong (she wouldn’t even have a shot in hell with Merriam or Webster, even though she runs the place). Say hello to Urban Dictionary:

A girl who will party hard anywhere, even if the party is shit she will get down and get naked. She likes to fuck, usually will either swallow or let you spray it all over her. Also prone to threesomes (including bi), and taking it in the wrong 'un.

A girl who simply likes to party. Every weekend she is seen at a party either drinking, dancing, or mingling. She may go home drunk or completely sober. Commonly associated with being whore, they are usually just 'wild childs', that party hard.

A girl who will hang out and have sex with a guy or guys who are sharing coke, ecstacy, crystal or other drugs with her.

Any female who constantly frequents nightclubs. She is entitled to always have a good time, with little or no responsibilities.

This is the general view the world has of party girls. Not a really good one. Satan is rarely seen as a girl who wants to settle down and change her lifestyle.  She is not the type of girl who gives the impression she could be taken seriously in a relationship. Again perception is reality.

Well, hello there! I am Satan. Ha. Except not all the ideas that are used to define me are true.  I do whisper into people’s ears with my raspy voice (mostly fart jokes), I didn’t develop an immunity to hangovers (still working on a formula). And most importantly, I do wanna settle down.  It seems that I am a lot of things that I am not. I tend to give the wrong impression. I know.  

I will spare you the gruesome details of how I got that nickname...let’s just say it involves many shots, lost shoes, frontal lobe damage, projectile vomit (not mine) and a tiny hat.

Let’s take another little trip. This one is down memory lane so you can understand the evil forces that caused me to be this way. (I say evil forces for dramatic effect don’t go  and think I am part of some weird ass cult). And for all the Satan’s out there, don’t worry there’s hope.

When I was 13 I was a hopeless romantic, I always have, always will be, and don’t let me tell you otherwise. I believed Prince Charming was going to show up one day and take me on a magic carpet ride. (Yeah, I take the carpet over the horse any day. Plus having a tiger pet is cool as shit). You may be thinking “Alright Jasmin, relax!” But really, I believed he would show up, kiss me, and suddenly all the love songs would make perfect sense. (My boo, wherever you will go and I will walk a thousand miles follow). EW. If someone called me boo today I’d barf instantly. On their face. I wouldn’t be sorry.

Needless to say it didn’t happen. The prince flaked on me, found another boo and I remained single for the rest of my life. (With the exception of a two week boyfriend I had. He was a sweet kid but I broke up before I could develop feelings for him). Later on, I realized that I was terrified to bare my heart and soul to anybody. Yeah, I am a living contradiction. I wanted love, the whole shebang but I didn’t want to feel vulnerable. (Maybe the real reason why no one came).

Other than him, no other guy seemed to be genuinely interested in me. Boys noticed my body for the most part. I’d crush on my male friends on a regular basis, just to have them crush on my girl friends (no, I never went to them to confess my love. I’m much more chill than that and my pride wouldn’t have allowed me). They just saw me as their fun friend with a great sense of humor and a “hot” body.

So in my teenagey little brain I got what I thought was the message the universe wanted to send me (let the celestial trumpets blow here). “You are a girl to have fun with, your face isn’t cute but you can use your body. Boys don’t take funny girls like you seriously, they take bodies seriously though, so you might as well go out there and have fun.” And hell broke lose.

I decided that if love wasn’t going to happen to me. I was at least going to have a damned good time. So as a good rebellious millennial I said fuck love, fuck all those love songs, and fuck feeling unwanted.

I choose a bunch of badass bitches from movies and real life who had no fucks to give and I made them my role models. I did my best to model myself after them: Elizabeth Hurley, Angelina Jolie, P!nk, to name a few. I just wanted to be fun, attractive, and detached.  

The thing is that at the end of the movie most of them did end up with the guy and I didn’t, but I didn’t care #thelieswetellourselves.

So I became Satan aka the party girl. I never prostituted myself for any substance, didn’t sleep with any dudes and I definitely never let anyone “spray it all over me”. I don’t judge anyone who has, I did my fare share of very wild things, but I am explaining my version of Satan. I am also explaining myself in case my mom ever reads this, please sympathize. (Sorry Mom).

Ultimately I have hid behind this Satan persona that I created. I tricked myself and built this fake confidence that turned into real confidence (fake it til you make it, right?). Still I always believed I had to rely on my body to get the attention I deserved from bros. A piece of advice that I should take is you get what you think you deserve so never sell yourself short. I slowly became a professional provocateur and flirtist (yeah, I make up words on a regular basis). I mean damn, I would have even flirted with my own shadow if I thought it was a hot bro.

In the love department I crushed on guys who were always unavailable and pushed some nice dudes away. I was too busy filling my kiss chart with strangers from all over the world to be bothered by nice dudes who actually saw right through me and wanted to take Satan out on a date. (I know right? Were they fucking crazy? I took my bad bitch role seriously). I know now that the crazy one was me. Haha (that’s me laughing at myself and the universe and irony).

I maintained this lifestyle for about a decade. Can you imagine how exhausting it was? Take it from me, worse than a 9 to 5. It felt great until it didn’t and then I had to make it great again, as all deals with the devil this lifestyle came with a price. I’m not proud of some of the prices I paid, some price tags included: too much alcohol, drugs, my dignity, my morals, and copious amounts of guilt and shame.

There were many times I felt depressed, lonely, exhausted and I just wanted to have a boyfriend like my friends. No one came and bad bitches are never sad, so I grabbed my tequila, put on mascara, played some house music and got my shit on lock. It didn’t take long till I found the next party. I lived in this vicious cycle.

Oh well, you can’t live in the past. Those days are over now. Now that I have grown a little, I realize I was too busy attracting situations and people that fed the beliefs I had about myself (my Satan self that is). Probably so busy that even if Prince Charming had stopped by with his magic carpet I would have either not noticed or looked the other way.

You may be wondering who hides behind the façade? Well, Hello, it’s still me. I can’t deny the wild and crazy parts of me, but they are not all there is to my identity. I disowned many parts of my authentic self to keep up with the Satan persona.

The parts I disowned never went away, I just never showed them. Qualities people never would attribute as mine but actually are. Like the fact that I am smart and yeah, sometimes I may have shown up drunk or hungover to class throughout high school and college but my grades were great and I NEVER failed a class. I graduated with honors. And even though I am relaxed I am extremely responsible, reliable and organized. It may seem that my life is a mess but I’ve got it more together than anyone thinks.

As an avid reader, I actually read about 10-12 books per year, including some poetry books.I know. Haha. I enjoy museums, playing video games, amusement parks outdoor activities, dirt bikes, go-karts, arcades and spending time around large bodies of water. But I strongly dislike bowling and beer (this should be my online dating profile). The list goes on but I wouldn’t want to bore you.

So yeah there is a lot more than what a person “seems” to be.

In the past year and a half I’d like to think I have grown up a lot, or enough to let myself be more me and less Satany. Also I have been going to therapy for 10 months with a cool, intense, brunette with amazing hair, and a dry sense of humor who sees right through all my bullshit. She makes me get real and raw (raw hurts by the way). She’s helped me expel the forces of evil from my brain, taught me about gratefulness, self-worth, and thanks to her I have gained self-awareness which is one of the most amazing gifts anyone has ever given me.

So let’s reassess yeah?

I am like all humans which means I have strengths, weaknesses, and I am working on myself to keep evolving.

Sometimes it scares me to think that people will never see past Satan, and by people I mean a decent guy (if he saw past Satan) who I could potentially be in a healthy long term relationship with. What If I meet a guy I really like and I inevitably project that image about me? It is really fucking scary and I go on panic mode sometimes...except I am aware. Woke if you will!

It’s not the same panic I have felt since I was 23 and I thought I was going to die forever alone, this one is much milder (like the green salsa). I no longer believe I will die forever alone with 10 cats (I don’t like cats anyways) and I don’t believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with me anymore. I just trust that I will meet someone when it’s the right time and that’s all. I don’t sweat it anymore. I am at peace and for know I enjoy the pleasure of my own fucking company.

When I do meet him, I just want him to see me and not just Satan (maybe Satan in the bedroom...Jk). So yeah I may feel a little worried about that sometimes but then I remember that I am super awesome, I have a bajillion things to offer, and any guy who locks me down should consider himself very lucky. (Yeah, yeah I will be lucky too but this is about me, not him and I haven’t met him yet).

To all the party girls out there, it’s cool to have fun but don’t let Satan become your identity. Don’t trade the good, funky and nerdy parts of yourself to keep this identity you made yourself believe is all there is to you. Remember your real friends and family will always know who you really are and so should you.

PSA: I’m going to repeat this don’t fucking sell yourself short and value yourself enough to walk away from any douche who just wants to “spray it all over you��. This may sound completely platitudinal but whoever you are wherever you are, you are worthy of love and respect. Learn to love yourself, know your value, and don’t put up with anyone who doesn’t.

P.S.S When I wrote this in September I feared that even though I had evolved, guys would always see me as a party girl. Thanks to the 10 guys from the post below I was able to understand what Michelle always told me. It was something like“ Jude, don’t worry. They will see you” ( Not just Satan).

I still worried. She was right, they saw me :)

[cheerstocrazy]

Austin 7/4-7/7 Messy stories

I love Rainey Street!!! I’m so glad I got to go back and experience it fully. We went to Unbarlievable, and while the drinks and people sucked, the bar was playing BANGERS from all my fave artists: Daft Punk, Maggie Rogers, Kaytranada, Washed Out, and so many others! It’s so laid-back and open, which is how I like my bars. We bar hopped a lot and the drinks were so cheap, and each space had its own vibe and white people who couldn’t dance. I’ll move to the highlight of this trip. Jas and I went to Rainey St at night again bc we wanted to see how poppin’ it would be. We went to The Container Bar first, and I really loved the concept and layout. It’s so novel and cool! I didn’t like the music, so we went to Unbarlievable where the line was 2nd longest and the music was poppin’ again. Went inside, got our drinks, spiked the shit out of it. 2 lame dudes approached us to talk, but they had no social skills, weren’t cute, and were generally killing our vibes. I’m glad they realized we weren’t interested and left. Soon after, this really tall dude asks us, “Hey girls, do you want some drinks? I’ll buy them for you.” To which I screamed, “yes! LONG ISLANDS PLEASE.” They were weak as shit, but they were free. We got our drinks, and he didn’t even talk to us. What a nice lad! I think Jas talked to him bc she was nice, but I was like eh, Idc. He’s not cute, he’s wearing khaki pants with CHANCLAS. At this point, the cute Spaniards I had seen earlier approached Jas and started to talk to her/ dance with her. He was short, but his friends were fun, and it was nice to have lively people who could at least dance to the rhythm. We were all talking in Spanish, and Mark was still here, WGW as shit. He was all alone which was really weird, and I asked him where his friends were. He replied, “Idk, lost em. *Shrugs*” I let him take some sips of my long island, and at one point, he took the long island and didn’t give it back. He took the straw. And I was like you have to buy me more!! You took my drink. So he did, and we got 2 more long islands :D He was so drunk and was taking pretty long to register/do simple tasks, but IDC, THE DRINKS WERE FREE. I think his friend came by at this point, and I yelled omg it’s your friend. Hey, what does Mark do?? His friend: he’s a doctor. I wasn’t interested at all thus far, until I heard that word. And I yelled, “A DOCTOR????!?!??!?!!! WHAT’S YOUR SPECIALTY??” And he replied MD. Who the fuck replies MD when they’re asked what they are. Usually, people would reply internal medicine, derm, etcetc. I didn’t believe him, but Idc too much either. He was really drunk at this point and somehow, it had become my responsibility to look after him. I took a foto with him bc I thought it was sooOOooOOoo funny how tall he was, and I wanted to remember this memory of a dumb guy whom I milked for drinks. He stayed with me and would put his pinky finger out to dance with me. So fucking weird, god white people. I played along whatever. I was drunk and having fun. And I always have more fun when i have a guy with me. I know it’s horrible, but nights without guys to mess around with are LAME. I don’t want to go to the bars if that’s not gonna happen. Anyway, one thing lead to another, and I’m not entirely sure of the event orders...but wait, I remember telling Jasmine: DON’T LET ME KISS HIM. Which usually means, I’m stupid and I’m gonna kiss him in 5 seconds. Back to the story, he turned me around (probably) and I ended up kissing him. He wasn’t a bad kisser, I’d give him a 6 or 7/10. It wasn’t wet; it wasn’t sloppy; he removed his lips from mine. It was nice--I liked it. I know I also screamed at him to move his hips, and he was incapable of it. We would dance with each other, and I know his hands were grazing my boob, and Jas told me too. It was fine, whatever. I wasn’t even paying attn to anyone else at this point, and I couldn’t have cared less. We kept on kissing, and soon the bar closed. We all left, and he came with me. I asked him where his friends were, and he didn’t care to find them. I walked his drunk ass out, and Jas was hungry, so I said we should all go to the food trucks and grab something. He was stumbling and couldn’t walk straight, so I held his hand and pulled him with me. I was hungrier in theory...and wanted everything, but had absolutely no appetite. We ordered so much food, and he paid for everything. He didn’t even care at this point. It was wonderful. In line, there was this incredibly cute Iranian who was dressed SO nicely with the most beautiful pearly whites. Wow undeserving. His name was Coby, something like that. Mark was so drunk, he put ketchup on the outside of his burger bun, probably thinking there was space to dip his fries. We sat across from these 2 really young college kids 21 and 22. Omg, I felt so old sitting near them. Somehow, the white kid mentioned politics, and I said I’m your standard California liberal...and Idk how or why, but Mark mentioned something abt AOC (maybe in defense of her?) I was so shocked a Southern boy knew about her and was praising her? Acknowledging her? Maybe I was drunk. All of the above. Mark gave the kids some life advice, and I was like do you really want advice from a 30 year old man who’s WGW??? They replied, yeah he’s older and he’s a doctor, we’ll take it. Smh. Anyway, we ended up leaving and we didn’t touch our food so Jas and I were forcing these black guys to take it, but they didn’t want us bc they probably thought we did shit to it. LAME, THIS IS EXPENSIVE FOOD YOU’RE GONNA BUY ANYWAY. We walked out toward the street, and Mark was like I’ll do anything you want or go anywhere you want. Something like that. Idr the exact words, and I thought, “Guess he’s coming home with me and staying on the couch ugh. He was a good enough kisser, this should be fine” Jas called the Lyft. We got in and we were probably still holding hands. Idr what was going on, but he would pull my face over to kiss him, and I felt so embarrassed bc Jas was sitting right next to me!! And he kept doing it to me ugh. Then we got inside the house, and she ran up, and I went to the living room to grab my shit to change. I had my clothes downstairs, so I went to that rr to change. I think he got some water??? And I got into the couch tired as shit, and he had already undressed himself and CLIMBED ON TOP OF ME!!! Omggggg, I’M TOO YOUNG AND SMALL FOR THIS SHIT. lmao. Anyway don’t really remember much of the details besides he fingered me, and he was really slow with the process, which I guess is better than shoving it in there and DJing. Could be worse. I gave him a hand job, and his dick was smaller than I expected. Damn. And he went down on me!! And it felt so GOOD. But I was also thinking holy fuck, I haven’t showered. I’ve sweat 10 buckets today. Poor dude. And then I asked him if he had a condom, and he said yes he did. So he searched, couldn’t find anything, then I searched and couldn’t find anything. I was so pissed. Ugh, i WANTED TO HAVE SEX!!!!!!! So he took his dick and was a tease abt it, and dicked it around my vagina, which was SO SHITTY. I felt like a teenager who had to restrain herself, and ugh I’m a grown ass woman, JUST PUT IT INSIDE ME. Unfair. It was nice nonetheless. Was he the best? No. He was good enough and he made me go on top too, which #feminism #equality--I’m all about that. And he would hold/hug me sometimes, and it felt so nice to be held by a significantly bigger man. It was after the first round at 3-4am, and I googled on my phone the closest Walgreens and told him to go buy condoms. He asked “you really want to fuck??” YES I DO!!!! bITCH!! Sometimes he would get thirsty and get up to drink straight from the sink when I had a glass of water on the table. It made me laugh. I saw his pale ass small butt there. I’m not a big butt person sorry...esp not his heh. When we “fell asleep,” he would hold me completely in his right arm, and I was really surprised. Generally, guys cant sleep like this and also their arm goes numb. But he fell asleep holding me the whole time. It was nice, but I was so fucking exhausted, and I couldn’t sleep with him snoring. Then he woke up and get second wind and we did it all over again, this time in the light…..He asked me if I could go down on him, and I did it no questions asked bc dammit I guess you eat me out, I have to return the favor. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing ever. And he kept making me give him a hand job, and all I could think about was Julian’s tweet. I’m not even good at this!! My right arm is tired!! He took so long to come, I was feeling unsuccessful, aND I WAS THIRSTY AND TIRED AND SWEATING. MY GOD. I kept blowing him and I wasn’t even switching up the pace. I tried to go around the head. I was getting so thirsty, at one point I even felt so baby barf. So I quit and said I’m thirsty. I was so sweaty. I lay on top of him for a little bit to not make it so awkward….Then I drank water and came back, “we fell asleep.” I gave up after and slept on the couch next to him or lay down on it. Idk I was losing my mind at this point. I was so tired. I slept for an hr finally and went up to chat with the girls. I was asking them what protocol was for kicking someone out bc I really wanted the couch and to be able to sleep. Oh ya, he was sleeping completely naked on the couch, and I was so worried about my friends coming down to see him naked!!! He did look so peaceful and cute sleeping though. It warmed my heart a bit and softened him to me. I digress. They said to come upstairs to sleep and let him go home alone. I thought that was weird, and I thought what if he stole shit. Also if I were in his position, I’d feel super fucking weird to be left alone. Anyway, came back down to lie down on the couch, and he awoke. He looked over sleepily at me, and asked me if I wanted the couch, to which I replied, Yes, MOVE. Oh ya he had asked me earlier twice if I was alright, or is this okay? He moved afterward. It felt so weird bc I didn’t know anything about him. Also during hooking up, I was like, Omg Im so tired, I just want to sleep, and it felt so impersonal bc it was and I was with a stranger!!! He moved to the couch and then he went back to sleep. Then he made up some BS excuse abt his back being sunburnt and wanting to lie on the floor. But I knew it was an excuse to lie down next to me. AND IT WORKED UGH. My hand was dangling off the side, so he grabbed it, held it, and kissed it. And I was like ugh my cold, dead heart. He held it close, then put his foot up to play with mine. Finally, he asked me if I wanted to come lie down with him, to which I replied yeah :\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ He asked me questions about what I did for fun in California. So weird. I asked him bare minimum questions bc I didn’t believe he was a doctor, and I didn’t really care to get to know him. We talked a bit more about nothing. Then Martin and Jenny also came down at this point. I think we started to kiss again, and he started to finger me. Jenny was being so fucking loud, I honestly wanted to slap her!!!! She’s so annoying!! I yelled shut the fuck up jenny!!! She was ruining it. It felt so nice to be held by him. I felt so safe and secure ): He fell asleep. I moved up to the couch and I had such a bad headache by this point bc I had only slept 1.5 hours max, and I wanted to die. I was being so negative to him lmao. Jas and Jenny finally left after I asked them one billion times when they were leaving. As soon as they left, he tapped me and said something, but I didn’t hear. I immediately said out loud, “Ok, let’s go upstairs to get some rest.” I wanted a fucking bed!!!!! We both went upstairs and he complimented the house. Backtracking to our convo downstairs earlier. It was so weird bc he asked me so many questions, and I get it, this was him trying to figure out who I even was. He assumed I lived in Austin, and that this was actually my house, when I was visiting and this was an AirBNB. Anyway, we went to the bedroom, and I lay to the side bc I really wanted to rest (knowing full well I wasn't). He was there with his phone texting and Idr when he told me, but he said he friends left without him. I had asked him earlier when he was leaving and he said today actually. I was kind of sad bc I was hoping he was staying until the day after so I could spend more time with him. After he finished texting, he cuddled me from the back, and we started fucking around. Then he proceeds to tell me has a condom, and I'm like what don't you get? You are actually stupid. You don't have one!!! His breath also tasted like milk at this point. Not that it was a bad thing but he hadn't brushed his teeth in a while. He went down on me again which was gr9. He asked me if I wanted to have sex without a condom, to which I replied “no, idk you.” He laughed it off. I took off my shirt and it got stuck on my big head, and I was so mortified haha. We kept doing the thing where he'd tease me with his dick outside and he’s dry hump me. And I rolled my eyes, I was tired and too sober for this. He kept making me give him a hand job and my right arm was so tired, I wanted to die. He ended up finishing himself off, and he came all over my stomach while grabbing my boob. Oh ya before that he would let me lie down on top of him, and he would hold/hug/squeeze me. It was so nice and comforting. He also had a habit of tapping his fingers on me, which I felt endearing. I asked him for a towel to wipe myself off. He said he hoped his friends were still there and that his checkout time wasn't until 4pm. I can't believe he chose to stay with me knowing full well he had to leave. He couldn't find his briefs, but I found them in the sheets. I walked him down, grabbed his sunglasses and watch for him, and he pulled me in to kiss me a few last times. He squeezed me tight and it was so sweet. I enjoyed it. We said goodbye at the door, and he did the lingering hand, and I'm sure if I gave in to kiss him, he would've pulled me in again. I've never met or been with anyone who’s so obsessed with kissing. 

[modelingmariella]

Week From Hell Day 2: Why Is There Joy In This Poison

Something was touching her neck. Repeatedly and rapidly. At first she tried to shrug it off but it wouldn't stop. Eventually she opened her eyes and regretted it. Her head exploded in pain, vision blurred, someone felt the need to kiss her awake.

“Who the hell are you?” She groaned.

“How did you forget who I am? We spent the whole night together.”

“I was drunk and now I am hungover and in no mood.”

“No need to tell me about being hungover.”

Was he even cute? She had no idea and she didn’t even care. She rolled back over and buried her face in the pillow. “You need to leave.”

“What?”

“Leave! I’m going to go barf my brains out and you need to be gone.” She stumbled out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. Her lover for the night collected his things and presumably left. She could hear the door open and close.

This was only day two of what would be hell on earth. She had to talk to her dad and Eva after blowing them off all night. But that would be later. Much later…

***

The ringing was torture. Just waiting for Eva to respond made the knot in her stomach worse and worse until she almost hung up.

“Mari what the hell! Where have you been?”

“Don’t yell I just got the headache to pass.”

“What happened?!”

“I got drunk… like really drunk…”

“Why?”

“I don’t know~”

Like a slap in the face everything came flooding back. Her step family being monsters and her father choosing them for life. It was childish to think that way but damn it she couldn't see it any other way. “That bitch is pregnant!”

“Nora?”

“No not that pig. The other one.”

“Caresa? Wasn't your dad going to divorce her?”

“Yes! And now she is pregnant!” Maybe it was the hangover, or maybe it was just her saying it out loud. Mari found herself back in the bathroom. Her phone still on in the other room. Talking with her dad would have to wait.

***

It was sometime in the afternoon and she still looked like she just rolled out of bed. Her breakfast was coffee and a light sandwich she hoped to hold down.

So many voicemails and zero patience to go through them. She already talked to Eva and couldn’t stomach hearing her dad’s panicked voice. She was so focused on deleting the missed messages she almost swiped the ignore call when her dad called.

“Hey,” Was all she had to say when she turned the call speaker phone.

“Mariella are you alright?” He sounded heartbreakingly worried. She wanted to cry for acting like she had, but she held it in.

“I’m fine.”

“You sound terrible.”

“Well that happens when you down a lot of vodka dad.”

“Do you even remember last night?”

“No I don't,  and I don't care to remember yesterday at all. That's why I got drunk.” Mariella was in the process of making coffee. Her father remained silent. promptly decorated the coffee how she saw fit and began eating the sandwich. It was the worst silence of her life.

“Do you hate me?”

“No Mariella, I could never hate you. I just want us all to sit down~”

“No! I will do no such thing.”

“You can't carry this~” He didn't get to finish his sentence she hung up and turned her phone off. How dare he insist such a terrible idea?

Some hours had passed and Mari had finally finished talking to Miko about all the events she missed. He was more than understanding and very worried for both parties. He had to head to London and attend the events Mari would be missing. Her stomach had settled and now she was starving and delivery was her best option.

Moments after completing the order an unknown number popped up and if she hadn't realized it was an Italian phone number she wouldn't have answered.

“Who the hell is this?”

“Is this how you greet people all the time?”  Caresa asked appalled anyone dared to speak to her that way.

“The hell do you want?”

“Your father wants you to come to dinner with us.”

“I wouldn't say this to my dad but I’m saying it to you so someone understands: Fuck no. I am not going. And you can go fuck yourself.”

“Can you just clean up your mouth for once?”

“Can you not be a manipulative bitch?”

“I don’t have to take this I am pregnant!”

“Cause you’re a hoe!” She hung up and shut her phone off only to throw it across the room. Hopefully that kitten shaped case would do it’s job.

***

A half an hour of silence passed. It was glorious and helpful for her dull headache. And then a knock happened. There could be nothing good on the other side of that door.

“Dad why are you here?”

“You and I need to talk and I am not leaving until we do.” He seemed even disappointed by her disheveled appearance. She was still in her pajamas, no makeup and her hair wasn’t done, she rarely let anyone see her like this. She was too high maintenance…

With an eyeroll she let her dad inside and sat in the living room with the last of her coffee. “I will not sit there and talk to them over dinner.”

“Yes Mari you will.”

“Scusa?”

“Don’t start Mari~”

“Don’t start? Are you serious?”

“You freaked out, got drunk, and shut everyone out. Refused to tell me where you were! And when we finally get ahold of you, you babbled on nonsense and told us to fuck off! And this isn't the first time you’ve done this!”

Mari was beyond shocked. Her face hot with anger she was practically seeing red.“Those two whom you love so much make me like this!”

Her dad shook his head, “They didn't force you to drink. I wanted to talk to you earlier, but you stormed off. Yes Caresa is pregnant we can’t change that. We need to find some common ground for Gabi and our other child. So come to dinner with us. For me.” he seemed so defeated. There was nothing more to be said.

“Ugh! Where and when?”

***

“Look who showed up?”

“I’m not here for you Nora. I’m here because of my dad.”

“Oh really because last night you didn’t give a shit about him.”

Mari glared at the younger woman. She could easily jump the table and stab her with a fork. Instead she turned around and started walking away.

“Drama queen.”

“Say one more thing~”

Caresa stood up blocking Mari’s view of Nora. “I will put your ass in jail don't think I won't.”

“Oh I’m so scared.” She turned at looked at her dad who was trying to get his wife seated. “Can I leave now?”

“No Mari we haven't solved anything.”

“She’s not sane!” Nora huffed.

“And you're a pig.” Mari sat down as Gabi reached for her. She was the good thing about this dreaded dinner. “I’m missing work for this. Do you understand that? I missed a huge paycheck and new opportunities because I’m firced to play nice with you.”

Gabi buried her head in Mari’s chest while Mari ranted.

“I want my daughter back. Give her to me.” Caresa snapped, but she fussed the moment her dad tried to lift her from Mari’s arms. From that moment on the tension was thicker than oil.

“Giovanni I’ve had it~”

“No! Listen to me all three of you! We are reaching some common ground. We can't do that if you all keep bickering!”

Of course their poor server came over with their food in the midst of an argument. She kept a smile and cool demeanor as she sorted out their orders and offered refills on their drinks.

“She’s ridiculous!” Nora wasn’t done so Mari fought back.

“She’s also a bitch.”

“Clean up your language in front of Gabi!” Mari put her sister in the high chair and moved it next to her. She let them argue it out while she ate her food. This was absolutely pointless, but her dad seemed determined to get somewhere. Mari continued to watch the kickoff show for WWE’s Roadblock until it was time for the main show to start.

Renee mentioned that the tag team match with New Day and Cesaro was up first. Music to her ears. She couldn't keep the smile off her face. If only he was here…

“And you call me desperate.” Nora scoffed but Mari was in her happy place. She ignored the two problems at the table and went about the dinner like it was nothing. From the start the match was crazy. There would be no clear winner until the very end.

After a crazy match a quick finish called for a change of champions. She didn’t care how loud her squeal was or if anyone stared as she got up practically dancing over the win. But Caresa cared.  

“You are making us look like fools!”

Mari promptly walked over to the bar and ordered herself a bottle of champagne for the table.

“So with that settled, I’m toasting to me, my future marriage to Cesaro, and better things in the next year. And maybe I can drown these terrible memories by the time I finish this bottle.” At this point she had given up. There was no fixing things. And if they insisted on bringing her down she wouldn't go without a bang.

***