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bullet-prooflove · 11 months

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Past Mistakes Part Sixteen: Mattituck - Mike Duarte x Reader

Tagging: @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @oureternalbond @nessamc @jayblackpanther @mysoulisasunflower @littleone65 @thesandbeneathmytoes @katluke25 @mydarkestsecretlol @evee87 @wooshwastaken @hearthockey @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @rosaliedepp @storiesofsvu @smellsliketeensspiryt @legit9thlunaticwarrior @xoxabs88xox @kiwiithecrazybird @spooky-pomegranate @chavez-ashley @telepathay @weiwei0210 @spaghettificationandpretzels @plaidbooks @irishavengersassemble

Past Mistakes Series:

Part One: Try - Mike turns back up in your life after three years apart.

Part Two: Hope (NSFW) - Mike and you get reaquainted.

Part Three: California - Mike and you discuss the past.

Part Four: Favours - Mike asks Liv for a favour.

Part Five: Choices - Mike comes face to face with someone from his past.

Part Six: Truth Hurts - Mike begs you to tell him the truth about what happened three years ago.

Part Seven: Sharing - Mike and Joe have a conversation.

Part Eight: Buried - Mike discovers that McGrath’s misdeeds go far futher than he thought.

Part Nine: Complicated - Mike discusses moving forward.

Part 10: Feral - Mike returns to the apartment to find you’ve disappeared.

Part Eleven: Torture - You wake up in the basement.

Part Twelve: Fire - You and Joe discuss moving forward.

Part Thirteen: Lost Time - You and Mike get real on his porch.

Part Fourteen: Plan B - Mike always has a plan B.

Part Fifteen: Proud - Mike tells you how proud he is of what you’re doing.

Mattituck agrees with you, more than Mike thought it would. You’ve always loved the ocean, in the past when you were in crisis you always headed to the beach. He was fortunate enough the place that Terry owned was right on the beach front. You woke up to the sound of the waves and had tea on the veranda each morning before going for a run on the sand.

It’s been a long time since you’ve experienced this freedom, since you’ve had control of your own life and at times you find it overwhelming. It’s during those times that Mike steps in, that he reassures you that it’s ok to feel the way you do. You begin counselling over Zoom, it helps with the panic attacks, the general anxiety.

Little by little you’re coming back to him.

At night you sleep curled up in his arms, your back pressed against his chest as he cradles you close, his face buried in the curve of your neck. It’s a couple of weeks later that things start to get physical between the two of you. When it comes to you, he’s liberal with his affection, he graces you with small touches, let’s you take what you need. The same thing happens tonight as he lies underneath you, your fingertips trailing over the tattoos on his chest as you straddle his hips. The fabric of your pyjama shorts rubs over his thighs as you trace over the eye inked above his heart.

Everything before this has been a been a series of stolen moments, even before you went undercover. Here in Mattituck, no one cares who you are, that he was you Captain, you can be together freely.

“I love you.” He whispers into the corner of your mouth, his fingertips tucking your hair back behind your ear as you lean over him.

Your lips brush over his and he kisses you with vigour, with a passion he feels deep down inside of his bones. His palms come to rest on your waist, the heat of your skin emanating though the white vest top you’re wearing.

You take his wrists guiding them above his head and his breathing hitches as you pin in them in place. You dip your head, capturing his lips once more, your fingers snag on the waistband of his underwear drawing it lower. Your fingers wrap around his cock, and he moans into your mouth as you use your thumb to smear pre-cum over the tip.

“Let me take care of you.” You murmur against his lips. “You’ve been so busy taking care of me.”

You build him up slowly, stroking up and down the shaft of his cock in languid motions that have Mike writhing underneath you. It feels like there’s electricity shooting through his veins, it erupts through his synapses as that familiar heat rushes through him.

Fuck you feel good, too fucking good. The press of your palm on his wrists, your thighs straddling his, keeping him in place so all he can do is take the pleasure you bestow upon him.

His breath quickens, a flush creeping across his cheeks as a sacrilegious groan tears his throat. He comes hard, white streaks painting your fist as your lips brush over his. You drink down his bliss, your thumb ghosting over the line of his jaw as you look into his eyes.

You see the love he has for you; the adoration and you savour it.

“I love you.” You whisper. “I’ll always love you.”

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#mike duarte #mike duarte x reader #mike duarte x you #captain mike duarte

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cryyelan · 11 months

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𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 — 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢 𝐲.

expect bad/inconsistent writing — tws/cws: violence, gore, abuse/bullying, mahito, mc is a lil wack (but I love her) attempted suicide, death, LOTS of angst, also OOC!!

CH1. you are what you eat

no content warnings for this one lol, just a pov switch

SLOW, TIRED STEPS echoed down the corridor as Megumi made his way to his dorm.

Last nights mission went terribly for him, could've been far worse if it weren't for his man-child of a teacher, Gojo.

Megumi reached for the door handle and turned it.

He opened the door, only to be met with an all familiar head of dark hair and her vibrant orange eyes — sitting on his bed.

"[L/N], how did you get in here!?" Megumi asked, surprised.

How did she get in there?

"I have my methods, Fushiguro." She gave him a sly smile.

The boy groaned on annoyance, last night wasn't doing him any favors, he didn't need to have his classmate annoy him.

"What? Can I not check up on my classmate?" [Y/N] batted her eyelashes, 'innocently'.

He figured.

The boy groaned as he entered his room, sitting on his bed alongside the girl.

No words were exchanged afterwords as the duo sat in a comfortable silence, occasionally broken by the birds chirping and the rustling of leaves.

"Soo.. What happened while you're gone?" [Y/N] asked, breaking the silence.

Megumi looked in her direction.

Her face sported a curious expression as she hugged his pillow, legs crossed.

Megumi exhaled before explaining what happened last night — a boy named Itadori Yuji eating the finger and Sukuna incarnating as a result.

"He'll also be a student alongside us." He finished.

[Y/N]'s eyes widen in surprise before changing back into the usual relaxed expression.

Deep down, [Y/N] had garnered a newfound fascination and disgust for the boy known as Itadori Yuji, to think he'd be executed saddened her a little bit, but also deepened her fascination towards him. What is he like? Is he scary? What kind of classmate would he be?

"Fushiguroo... Don't make me more curious than I already am." She said sarcastically.

Megumi sighed at the girl, wondering why shes even his classmate.

"Is that all you're going to say-"

Megumi and [Y/N] heard voices outside the room, had they been ignoring them the entire time they talked?

One out of the two obviously belonged to Gojo-sensei, but the other was unrecognizable to her, piquing her interest futher.

Megumi got off his bed and walked to the door and opening it, the girl trailing behind him.

Megumi stepped into the hallway, [Y/N] stopping just short of the door. She peaked from behind the door, only her face visible — looking at the unfamiliar person before her.

He had bright, coffee brown eyes, his hair was a strange color...pink? He was fairly tall, at least 5'7 from what she could observe.

"Theres a bunch of empty rooms, aren't there?" The boy said flatly.

"Fushiguro! You finally look better!" The male with the strangely colored hair smiled.

"I thought it'd be more lively and fun this way." Gojo spoke.

"Classes and missions are more than enough!" Megumi spot back, frustrated.

"Anyway... It's fine! Most importantly we're goin' out tomorrow!" The older man beamed, clapping his hands together. "We're going to get the fourth first-year student."

"You're too excited for this — why did they let you, of all people, become a teacher again?" The girl peaking behind the door muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.

'They better be a girl..."

Yuji looked in the direction of the girl, setting of the sight of black hair and dull orange eyes looking at him.

"Are you also my classmate? You look a lot like Fushiguro!" He said.

The noirettes exchanged looks at each other, faces screaming 'what the fuck?' as their teacher laughed at their interactions.

"Shut up." Megumi said.

"Stop laughing!" The girl scowled at Gojo.

[Y/N] looked back at the boy, blinking then blankly staring at him, as if she's looking straight into his souls.

'That's him?' The girl thought.

'I never expected him to be so...so...'

stupid.

Her interest was a little crushed, but just who the hell is he? And why is he acting like that?

Yuji, despite paying no mind to her behavior, shivered. "I'm Yuji Itadori — from Sendai! Nice to meet you!" He spoke up, raising his hand out to shake.

"I've heard." She responded with an annoyed expression on her face. She slipped into the hallway, body now fully visible.

"I'm [Y/N] [L/N], likewise" The girl introduced herself, disinterested Yuji's friendly gesture.

Yuji sweat dropped at the girls attitude. 'She doesn't look thrilled to meet me at all!'

His cheerful demeanor deeply bothered her, how could he be so excited about something that will never leave a person the same ever again? It wasn't like she didn't come by choice if it weren't for the heavy amount of convincing she faced.

And Itadori most likely wouldn't last a month.

"I'm going to my room, do whatever you want- I don't care."[Y/N] flipped her hair back and huffed, turning her back to Yuji, leaving for her dorm.

Yuji was the first speak up shortly after she left. "Whats up with her?" He asked the duo.

Megumi didn't answer, but instead shot him a 'take a fucking guess' look, he figured that Yuji's word earlier must've annoyed her and made her want to leave. "She's just little moody, you'll get used to it."

"You still haven't got over her calling you a sugar-addicted bum." The noirette interjects.

"How do you know that?" Despite not showing it, Gojo shivered at the though of being called a 'sugar-addicted bum' again the first time he met her. "She told me herself." Megumi answered.

Sugar addicted? Yes.

Bum? Nope!!

Yuji looked at the two men confused — is She really that mean?

MEANWHILE AT [Y/N]'S DORM / 2ND PERSON POV

Shortly after entering your room, you started pacing without realizing it. You began to contemplate your behavior eariler in the hallway.

You might as well call yourself the rudest person on earth had you said whats else been on your mind.

'GAAAAH!! STUPID ME!! BE MORE POLITE!! APOLOGIZE!! APOLOGIZE!!"

You figured maybe a little later, you can apologize to Itadori for your rude behavior. But right now, you're a pacing, confused, sorry mess.

You still stopped pacing as soon you realized.

You haven't watered your flower in almost three days. Great, now you had more things to worry about. In a panic, you got down and looked under your bed to look for the small watering can. But fortunately, it was still there were you left it, You picked up the can and got up. To your luck, there was still water inside the can.

"Oh thank god.." you mumbled, relieved.

You approached the window seal with bright yellow watering can in hand, you settle your gaze on the singular, halfway full of water — vase of flowers you've been keeping in your room.

During weekends, you often leave for a few hours to gather flowers, either in wild or buy from shops, it had once started off something to take your mind off all the pressure shortly after becoming a student in Jujutsu High. Occasionally buying small enough vases to fit the flowers in, sometimes leaving the vases full of fresh flora in open spaces where your upperclassmen, sorcerers could see, and sometimes your own teacher would take notice.

You gaze at the vase full of morning glories, feeling a vague sense of nostalgia looking at them.

It was only years ago your old friend introduced you to them, even saying giving someone one could be a way of saying you love them.

And the vase, oh the vase.

It looked crudely made, preferably by a child — it was a gift given to you in kindergarten by an old friend.

Looking back at it, it looks terrible but it didn't make the memory any less sweeter, maybe one day, just one day,

You'll thank her.

MORIOKA STATION

There stood a young lady with ginger hair, standing on the platform. "It took four hours just to get to Morioka, time to finally say goodbye to the sticks." She said. "I'll be in Tokyo soon."

"What should I do if I get scouted by a talent agent?"

'Like stardust promotion?' Nobara pondered, curious for what the city has in store.

AUTHORS NOTE!! —

nobara next chap yay!! after that one i wanna publish two more chapters thats more slice of life before every goes to shit thanks to you know who!!

@bridemiko — if you see any of my work published outside of tumblr, quotev, and wattpad — its most likely not me!

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk itadori #itadori x reader #yuji itadori #yuji x reader #nobara kugisaki #megumi fushiguro #gojo satoru #amariwritess

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alicentsgf · 2 years

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okay so. in defense of young aemond targaryen.

it does rub the wrong way that Jace and Luke never apologised. it implies Alicent was right they did think they were entitled to take Aemonds eye. Alicent was in the wrong to discuss something so sensitive with children, but Rhaenyra didnt need to announce that Aemond had called her sons bastards. She could have dealt with it behind closed doors. She did it publicly because she wanted to use this maimed child (her own brother no less) as an example to everyone in that room of what means to question her sons legitimacy. it was pure desperation and i can fully understand her fearing for her sons but she seized an oppertunity to display Viserys allegiance to her at the expense of a ten yr old boy with a gaping bloody hole in his face. it being driven by fear and love doesnt make it any less cruel. she wanted to show Aemond his own father would hurt him futher, cut out his tongue to match his eye on account of an obvious lie, just because he loves her more than Aemond. thats why the boys rally to their mother. Aemond or Aegon could have easily confessed it was Alicent but they knew in that moment she was right; Rhaenyra had shown she might actually be capable of sacrificing them to ensure her sons were well protected, and their father would do nothing to prevent it.

its like everyone forgot Aemond had to be shoved and hit by Baela and Rhaena before he fought back. and i feel like the show presented Jace and Luke so favourably but... they participated in the bullying. they ambushed Aemond and then took his eye over a crime that can only really be labeled 'slightly dickish behaviour'. like yeah he dishonoured laenas memory at her funeral but like... at the same time Rhaenyra was sleeping with her husband so... you kno. its just i cant believe with this "honourable guy" characterisation Jace and Luke have been getting that they never thought to say they were sorry for how far it all went? Aemond even tried to build a bridge at the funeral with Jace and Jace just gave him the dirtiest look for no damn reason. Aemond hadnt even done anything yet.

if Aemond didnt care for Rhaena's feelings its because no one cared for his first. after all, why shouldnt he act superior for having a dragon now when she doesnt? its all he knows. jace, luke and aegon have acted superior about it all their lives.

#aemond targaryen #hotd #aemond apologist #aegon targaryen #alicent hightower #rhaenyra and alicent both just rly love their kids and its fucked up they get pitted against each other #viserys could have done so much more #hes useless fr

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ophelie-redgrave · 3 months

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What once was.

It was a sunny afternoon, Ophélie and her farher had, spent the day playing in their backyard. Her farher, a tall and gentle man with a warm smile, chased her around as she giggled and squealed with joy.

They played tag, hide-and-seek, and even had a tea party with Ophélie's stuffed animals. The air was filled with the sound of laughter and birds chirping as they soaked up the precious moments together. Ophélie's eyes sparkled with happiness, and her fathers heart swelled with love for his sweet daughter.

As the sun began to set, they sat on a blanket in the grass, watching the colors of the sky change from blue to pink and orange. Ophélie's snuggled up to her father, feeling safe and content in his embrace."Thank you for playing with me, Daddy," she said, looking up at him with a smile that could light up the sky. Her father hugged her tightly and replied, " Anytime, princess" placing a loving kiss upon thr forehead of his daughter.

This was a memory, that Ophélie would aways remember, but would also do anything to forget.

Ophélie was only about six years old at the time, in that moment she thought that nothing would ever come between the special bond she shared with her father. Both carefree, both loving and both each others favourite.

She never had been able to pin point exactly where their relationship went wrong. All she knew was that as she grew up, they futher they grew apart.

When you'd yell, I would stay silent You never noticed I was quiet I was taught that speaking up was talking back

Always first to say I'm sorry 'Cause I wanted you to like me And I thought that's what it took to make it last

It's a lose-lose That I don't choose But you don't always choose the ones you love

Apart of her has always wondered if her mother was to blame for the downfall of their relationship. She had always been close and carefree with her father, yet her mother had always cared more about appearances. A scuff of a shoe or dirt to the knee of her daughter simply would not do.

She never had been the one to play, treating her daughter more as a trophy prize to show off than an actual child.

As she grew older, she noticed a shift in her father's treatment towards her. He became less fun, more strict, expected more. He become like her mother in every sense. Their image becoming their main concern.

Soon they no longer played, they no longer laughed or cuddled. Instead he judged.

Was her hair just right? Was she clean enough? Was her skirt long enough? Did she great their guests in the correct manner? Where her grades good enough? Did she walk, talk and smile the right way?

Growing up she watched her brother do and say everything they expected. Fall to their every demand, excess beyond their expectations. It never seemed to phase him, he enjoyed it, being the golden child.

For Ophélie it was a different story, she couldn't simply fall in line with there unrealistic expectations. She didn't see things the way they did, their ideas of importance, simply wasn't important to her. She disagreed with their views, she cared not for what people thought of her.

It wasn't without trying, she tried to be the perfect daughter they wanted. Yet, the more she tried the more she failed, and with that the more she was yelled at, the more she said sorry. Each time she saw the utter disgrace and disappointment upon her father's face.

It wasn't long before she simply gave up, accepting that the love her father once had for her was gone.

She stopped trying, stopped caring and simply allowed herself to be herself. To be the person she wanted to be, not what everyone expected or desired. Even if that did mean destroying almost every aspect of a relationship she had with her father.

#What once was #Self para

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willymontana · 1 year

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So, the last 10 minutes of season 2 really fuck me up. So bad, in fact, that I even created a playlist based on that scene alone. In my delusional mind, these songs represent Crowley's feelings after that fiasco with a sprinkle of Aziraphale's P.O.V. Basically, it's fanfiction but with music. I even went as far as categorizing the songs after the 5 stages of grief.

And the text below? Just think of it as context for the songs and the story I'm trying to tell.

Now, without futher ado, just sit back, relax and enjoy as I present to you

"Ineffable Suffering"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We start out with 3 songs from "Anger", Crowley was furious, fuming. He had tried everything to win his angel over and still failed, miserably. After all of the shenanigans they've been through, Azira still chose heaven over him. Why? They could've had their happy ending! How could Aziraphale be so easily blinded by heaven? Did they brainwash him or has the demon read the room wrong the entire time. That, in reality, he never had any real interest in Crowley and all the things they shared were just lies, a pity act put up by the goody two shoes angel. Well, no matter what the actual reason was, one thing for sure is that Crowley is driving far away from London because everything reminds him of Aziraphale. Everything hurts like it's death by a thousand cuts and it was the angel's fault, he decides. But then, he actually takes the time to rethink the situation and nothing makes sense.

Moving on to "Denial", Crowley couldn't make heads or tails of this, what was the reason that they can't fall in love and be together? Crowley had been with Aziraphale through the ups and downs, saving him from sticky situations, laughing, and dining with him at the Ritz.

He then reminisces back to the early years of their relationship, even when they first met when he was an angel, there was an instant connection. And after he had turned into a demon, nothing really changed between them, surprisingly. As time went on, they grew closer and closer and before he knew it, he was falling fast, even if he didn't want to admit it. So when Crowley grabbed and kissed Aziraphale, he was unleashing everything he felt about the angel over the past 6000 years. He was desperately pleading with Aziraphale to stay with him and think about what could be if they were together. Turns out, it was their first and also probably their last kiss as well.

Next up is "Bargaining". Maybe it was his reluctance to admit his feelings, maybe he didn't make his intention clear enough, or maybe he should've shown more signs. Either way, if he gets the chance to redo everything, Crowley would take it. He would love Aziraphale more, and care for him more. He would make Aziraphale stay and his angel wouldn't be the one that got away.

But nothing can turn back time, and he gotta accept that perhaps, they were wrong for each other. He and Azira were not meant to be because angels as sweet, kind, clumsy, and lovable as him couldn't possibly love a demon like Crowley, and the sooner he lets go of him, the better. However, he couldn't seems to get the angel out of his head.

"Depression" sees Crowley struggling to move on. The thought of the angel haunts his mind daily. Why can't he scratch Aziraphale out, he already made it clear that "fixing" heaven was much more important than being on their own side, so why can't he let him go? WHAT is it about him that makes it so GODDAMN hard for Crowley to forget? It is the angel's eyes and smiles, his bubbly and also sassy attitude, his love for food, his Gavotte dance, his terrible magic shows, his obsession with collecting books. But most important of all, it is the affection the angel had shown him. He blames Aziraphale for caring about him, going on lunch dates with him, and sticking by his side just to throw it all away when heaven came knocking on his door. No, if Crowley has the chance to go back, he would stay away from Aziraphale, he would make sure that their paths would never cross, anything to make the current torment disappear. Aziraphale has tricked him into believing he at least had a friend, someone who he could trust and now he is suffering from the wound inside his heart. Oh how he HATES Aziraphale for that, for making him regret his entire life choices, for causing him so much pain, he just CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

And then somewhere up above, Aziraphale is watching with sadness blooming all over his face. He is no good angel, he had left Crowley all alone down on Earth. The truth is that he does love the demon, so much. He had wanted to return the kiss, to hold him closer and never let him go. But he has a duty, and it's to regenerate heaven and make sure the place lives up to its name. Oh if only Crowley had accepted his offer to come back as an angel, then they could be together while working to fix heaven. But at last, both of them had made their choices and now, Aziraphale could only send out his apology, telling Crowley how sorry he is for hurting him, for not returning his love, and for basically walking out on him. He hopes that one day, he will be able to find someone better, someone who deserves to be called his angel.

Throughout his rage, Crowley hears Aziraphale. His eyes start to water as he accepts that he could really never hate Aziraphale even if he tries to, he just loves him too much. All the memories of him and his angel, he would cherish and keep locked inside his heart forever. And though it might still ache deeply now, Crowley knows that someday, he would be able to put Aziraphale in the past but could never truly forget about him.

**********

The last 2 songs on this playlist all fall into the "Acceptance" stage and take place in the future (or what I would like to call my headcanon for season 3).

**********

In "I Almost Do", Crowley has finally been able to move on from Aziraphale but not without any trouble. He missed his angel like crazy and has tried from time to time again to reach out to him. But he knew heaven was corrupted and it would have gone against everything he stands for if he did decide to give in. So, while he may have successfully withstood the temptation, he couldn't recall how many times he almost gave up and contacted Azira.

Finally, my playlist ends with "Back to December" and it's in Aziraphale's P.O.V. As a twist of fate, heaven had tricked Aziraphale. They were just using him and his knowledge on mankind in an attempt to restart armageddon. This leads to Crowley and Aziraphale having to work together again to save the day. And in the end, before Crowley gets the chance to slip away unnoticed, Aziraphale catches up to him and apologizes for real this time. Tears are rolling down his eyes as he tries to make amends with Crowley. He was an idiot for ignoring Crowley's warnings and outcry. He was stupid for believing in heaven's words, and he shouldn't have betrayed the demon's love for him. He knows he probably fucks up any chance he has left with Crowley but still, he would love to go off and spend eternity with him, to be the angel that he has always loved again, if he let him.

The end... Or so you think.

**********

Because I like to torture myself with angst, "I Almost Do" and "Back To December" can easily switch places. And if that is the case, then it means that...

**********

Crowley has denied Aziraphale's wish and they go their separate ways. In the end, both have got their own places and their own lives. But memories of each other still spring up in their minds every once in a while as they contemplate whether or not they should pick up the phone and give this star-crossed love another try.

End of story, officially.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, I tried my hardest to explain my song choices and the meaning behind each one of them but my crappy writing has its limit. So maybe check out this playlist if you have a minute and actually experience good writing from talented artists to help guide you through this story. Then maybe, let me know which ending you choose, which song would you've switched the stages to, and what you think about it.

P.S. If anyone is wondering why a few stages of grief get repeated throughout the story then the answer to that is celestial beings are weird and that's how it works.

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #taylor swift #I suck at writing #the story would become much clearer if y'all read this while also listen to the playlist 'cause I'm not lying when I say I suck at writing #my headcanons for ss3 #but in all honesty #I'm just being delusional because ss2 hurts so bad #Spotify

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umbralsound-xiv · 1 year

Photo

Bexy Amalaryssia pushes her way gently into the greenhouse, a fond smile cast to the surrounding flora before dropping to search more pointedly. As her gaze settles on Neoma, she walks a little further forward. "Ah, Neoma... It is good to see you, in here." She asks, wandering a little further in. "You have been well, i trust?"

It had been a while since i had spoken with her proper, aside from our occasional greetings in passing in the hallway. I opted to make the time to seek her out... And wagered the greenhouse was a good place to start.

Neoma Eltanin was so focused on her task at hand tending to the flora it took her a moment to register someone had called her name. She blinked and looked up towards where the voice had come from. "Oh, hello Bexy!" She snipped a branch from the fruit-bearing little tree she was occupied with before approaching her with her usual friendly smile. "It's good to see you too. I am doing just fine, I was tending to the little persimmon tree I have planted."

Neoma Eltanin: "It has started bearing fruit! I hope they will taste good when they're ripe. How are you as of late?"

Neoma Eltanin smiles at you.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Ah? If it has been grown by you, i should think it will. Sayuri would appreciate them, they are her favourite after all." A warmer smile, as Neoma draws closer. "We've scarce had time to catch up, and i found myself with some spare bells and thought to pay a visit. I have not been in here in some time... It is beautiful..." She muses, gazing over the greenery once again. "This is where my rolanberries are grown?"

Neoma Eltanin smiled and nodded, encouraged by Bexy's comment. "I hope she will, I like them very much myself." She looked around in the greenhouse with a pleased expression. "It is nice to be in here, isn't it? Sometimes I find myself coming in here for no reason other than to be surrounded by all the greenery. Ah, but of course, a proper walk in the woods would be better suited." She laughed softly. "It has taken a lot of work, but it has turned into a proper greenhouse thanks to it!"

Neoma Eltanin: "And yes, most of the rolanberries that end up in the kitchen - and for you - come from here! Of course in season I enjoy getting wild ones from outdoors as well, but it's nice to have them so readily available at home."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Hm, is that so? I... Have never actually picked them from the wild. I usually just buy them from the bismark, or anywhere else that happens to be selling them." Her tail lightly brushes at her heel. "Sometimes it is nice to sit at home, instead of in the wilds, lovely though they are. It is... More comfortable. Safer." Her head tilts, allowing her long hair to roll from her shoulder. "I would offer to help, but i fear i'd do more harm than good. Don't let me stop you working, hm?"

I can’t imagine my aether would do the plants any favours. Still, the ones in my house are... Resiliant enough.

...These ones seem a little more delicate, though.

Neoma Eltanin laughed and shook her head. "No need to worry, feel free to have a look around. Don't be afraid to touch anything or ask anything you're curious about!" She moved around the counter, placing the cut off twigs aside before bringing out a pot and some soil to start filling it. "It has been some time since we last talked, hasn't it? I'm sorry about that, I... wish we got to speak more often. But we both keep rather busy, don't we?"

Neoma Eltanin peeked up from behind the counter with a smile before lifting the pot and placing it on the surface, turning to dig around in the boxes in the shelves. "I heard you recently went out on a mission in Thanalan. How did it go? I was unfortunately not here when it happened."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "We do. It's no bad thing, hm?" Bexy wanders a little futher, careful to step over the rose bushes to lean in and smell the flowers. "We keep busy for the right reasons. To help the company... To help those we care for." Refraining from touching anything still, she glances to Neoma. "...We did. it went well enough; we all returned home, even if some had a spell in the infirmary, though i hear Erjon has recovered enough to leave, now. Have you spoken with him much?"

Neoma Eltanin smiled and nodded at Bexy's sentiment. She picked out some seeds and went about planting them in the pot. "I did speak with him while he was in the infirmary, yes. He told me some about the mission, it seems he got the worst of it. Nothing that wouldn't heal with time and care, thankfully." She paused for a moment. "I can't say I have spoken much with him, but... If I am honest, I am a little worried about him. He seems to care little for... most things. Himself included."

Neoma Eltanin shook her head with a small sigh. "I might be worrying for no reason."

...I always got along well with him, for the few times we have spoken away from the field. He is dutiful, and listens well, even if he’s somewhat reserved away from the field. Prefers to speak of things and others, rather than himself. I know his history, of course. And i don’t mind for it.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "...Perhaps. He's always amiable enough to speak to, at least for me. I get along with him, but he has always struck me as a... Private man. Suppose that seems to be a Viera thing, from what few i know. He's a good combatant, and follows orders well." She offers a comforting smile to Neoma. "...We worry because we care. There isn't any shame in that..."

Neoma Eltanin: "Hm... Perhaps that is simply the case, then." She smiled a little embarrassed. "I admit, I have yet to speak with many Viera. Come to think of it... Verihiirensammal also seems rather... Drawn back. But that might just be because of his... rather unfortunate circumstances." She conjured some water for the pot to soak up. "I still am not sure what he might have experienced... But it was bad enough to leave him with memory loss."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "He is the one we found in Garlemald, yes? I.. Cannot say i know him well, or have had overmuch time to speak. I know well what it is like, to have lost memories... It is a difficult circumstance, but not an insurmountable one." She briefly pulls her lips into a line. "I have been attempting to speak with Eir, but he seems to be avoiding me."

Neoma Eltanin nodded with an 'mhm'. "I have been trying to read up on memory loss to see if any of it can be recovered... But it's not going to be easy for him. He gets headaches as soon as he tries to remember anything." She raised her eyebrows slightly, tilting her head in thought. "Eir is avoiding you?" She removed her dirty gloves and approached her to better see her. "Did something happen?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "...Headaches?" She considered, quietly. "...I remember my own, before my own memories were lost, and subsequently reclaimed. But i suppose... Each circumstance is different." She nods, a small swat of her tail at her heels. "We might have had a small altercation. But it's resolved, now. Or at least, i thought it was. I spoke with him in their room, but he still leaves every room i enter with nary a greeting."

...Perhaps it would do well to speak with the Viera we found in Garlemald. I still remember the time when my own memories and emotions fled me.

It was a... Difficult time of life, even if i didn’t quite register it back then. But i remember when it began to return. In little threads and pulls. Even if i can’t help, offering some comfort might be nice, as well as getting to know him.

I voiced my concerns about Eir to Neoma. Sayuri is... I love her, i do, but i don’t think it would do us any favours for her to hear me complain about him.

...I just wish he’d talk to me. I’m trying.

Neoma Eltanin looked a little concerned. "Oh? I... I'm sorry to hear you have not been able to work things out. I know Eir tends to feel rather... intimidated by others, especially those he might consider more... assertive? I mean no disrespect by that, Bexy. I think he might just be very nervous." She pinched her chin in thought. "I hope you can create an opportunity where he won't feel the temptation to run off. Perhaps if you knew where to find him in beforehand..?"

Neoma Eltanin gazes upon you in deep reflection.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "No, you're right. There's no disrespect taken. I know i can be quite fearsome to some people, but he -truly- has nothing to fear from me. I told him as much, the last we spoke, and Sayuri had all but held him in place, but by the seems of it he wasn't really listening." Another swat of her tail. "...Finding him is not the difficult part. Getting him to remain, is." She heaves a sigh, shaking her head as the cold briefly flourishes - And considering the locale, Bexy blinks, opting to shift the weight on her feet and exhale a more measure breath. "...I think he took my words a little too sharply to heart. He -is- dating Sayuri, who is a sister to me in all but blood." She pauses them, dragging her gaze up from her heels where it lingered. "...Which brings a thought to mind, Neoma..."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "...Have you spoken with Dusk, since our... Altercation?"

Neoma Eltanin bit her lip, coming to think of someone else who was told they had 'nothing to fear' from Bexy. And that turned into a terrible mess. It seemed Bexy had read her thoughts, judging by her following question. She sighed, and shook her head. "I have not, no. I... haven't seen him since it happened. I only heard from Mist that he has been sent off on a long mission as... reprimand for his actions."

Neoma Eltanin: "I... did speak to him shortly after. I was... angry at him, of course. But... I haven't seen him since, no."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Mm." The sound from her throat was a neutral one, as she glanced over to Neoma with a pensive sort of quiet. "...Then we have heard much the same thing. Mist tells me he has done nothing but travel... But his punishment will be reaching a conclusion, soon. As to what end... I do not know." Turning more prominently to face Neoma, Bexy tilts her head again. "...You had feelings for him once. Loved him, even."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "What of now?"

...A difficult question, but i did not want any assumptions made for the inevitable time Dusk and i would cross paths. I wanted to know how she felt, and i asked her plain.

Neoma Eltanin nodded, her gaze falling to observe some flowers at her feet. To Bexy's following question, she lingers in her stare at the flowers before lifting her gaze again. She sighed, before responding. "... I still do. I... know it's stupid of me. But I..." She reaches with one hand to rub at her other arm. "... I think I always will. Even if fate would wish us to go separate ways. Which... I might have to accept. But... I don't think I can let go of my feelings."

Neoma Eltanin glanced a bit shamefully at Bexy. "... For all that has happened, I know it is madness. I know it is... heinous, towards you. For me to stand here and admit to loving the one who committed a crime that caused you such misery. I... I'm sorry."

Bexy Amalaryssia slowly strides towards Neoma then, watching as her gaze falls aside to the flowers. Stepping over the roses, Bexy slowly reaches to take one of Neoma's hands in both of her own. Cold to the touch, but not freezing, it is a gentle grasp as she seeks to meet her gaze. "...Neoma." She half whispers, her tone softened. "...We do not choose who we fall in love with. He has wronged me, this much is true. That i nearly fell to his blade... And that perhaps, he wishes me dead, still. But the pain he has inflicted on me is nothing compared to the agony that he would have you endure. I... Wish you only the best. Only happiness, for a dear friend. And if you would find it with him... If it would make you happy...? I can accept that." She inclines her head, as her tone is stern for only a moment. "But i will not accept him hurting you."

Oh, Neoma...

Her heart is so gentle, that i fear what Dusk will do with it if he ever returns to her.

She loves him. And although i would much rather she loved someone worthy of her, someone who would treat her with all the love and kindness she deserves, i cannot change that.

...We do not choose who we fall in love with, for better or worse.

Neoma Eltanin glanced at the hands that grasped hers, a cold she had felt before, when she had been the one to comfort the other. Now, their roles were reversed. She lifted her head to meet Bexy's eyes, quietly listening as the shame gnawed at her heart. She swallowed, fighting the emotions that threatened to cloud her violet eyes with tears, and nodded.

Neoma Eltanin: "I... I miss him. So much. But I can not... ignore what he has done to you. I know he had his reasons, but... He is better than this. I know it. And... I need him to prove it." She quickly lifted her other hand to wipe her eyes before she had to deal with the consequences of emotional turmoil, and sighed. "I know there are limits to what can be tolerated. To me. To you. To anyone."

Bexy Amalaryssia frowns as she watches the tears spill down her cheeks, unwilling to release the sole hand that remained in her grasp. "...And i trust you. I trust you to be right. That he is better. That he will prove it to you, Neoma. You deserve it, and more." She lowers her head only an ilm, but still keeps her gaze met. "One sun, perhaps far from now, or soon, he will return to the company house. And... Others may be unkind to him. Suppose, considering, it is their right to be, in lieu of violence, it is a small price to pay, and will serve as a reminder to not do as he did again. But... I want you to know, things have not changed for my view. I will not raise my weapons, nor harm him, nor bid that anyone else will in my stead."

Though i made my vow of peace with him, it is not the case for others. I bid them not to attack, and the contract dictates that it would breach the rules, but i know now how strong my words and the paper hold.

Of course, i would not let them slaughter him. I could not bear seeing her so sad, when it is something i could prevent.

But every unkind word will make it to his horns, and i will do nothing to dull it, for the lesson it will teach him.

Neoma Eltanin nodded again, sniffling a bit as she listened to Bexy's heeding, yet reassuring words. "I-I am aware that... should Dusk be allowed to return, and be willing to, he will face... Repercussions for what he did. I understand others are angry at him, and rightly so. I... I just hope they won't... try to hurt him. Even if it is... rather rich of me to pray for his safety. But... thank you, Bexy. You have.. every right to wish harm to him, and yet..."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "...You are allowed to pray for his safety. And i will do all i can to ensure it. Your happiness is important to me, Neoma. I would not soon tarnish it. People have every reason to be unkind, but i draw the line at violence. At least... In this situation. If you love him, and you do... I would not soon see him hurt. I just..." Bexy sighs, quietly, giving Neoma's hand a small squeeze. "...Do you think he would come for me again? Now, knowing i survived?"

Neoma Eltanin listened carefully to what Bexy was saying. When she was asked the question, she did not avert her gaze as she answered. "No. Not after everything that has happened. I know he knows that he made a mistake." She returned the squeeze of her hand. "... I think he still fears you, and... I think he will for a long time. But... he is learning. He has to, and... he knows this. He knows you have people who care for you now. He knows you are not a monster that everyone hates."

Neoma Eltanin: "And... I sincerely hope that after he is done with his mission, he will come to understand why you are so loved, Bexy. Because you are."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "I..." Her words are stolen, which pulls her painted lips into a small, genuine smile. "... Thank you, Neoma. It... It warms me to her you say it. Though i occasionally have my doubts about such things, to know that people hold me so dear is..." She shakes her head, looking back to her. "...I never expect him to feel such a thing for me, no. But even if he understands enough that we only ever wanted the same thing, your happiness... That will be enough." Bexy steps in then, to wind her arms around Neoma, offering to pull her into an embrace should she have so wished.

...I...

...Loved. I am loved. By more than Laurent, my beloved Husband...

Or Sayuri, my sister.

...It choked me a little to think of it, but i could not let it show. Not right now, in any case. Neoma...

My dear friend. If it truly is Dusk you wish for, then i will not deny you. I will usher him back to your arms...

And i will ensure that he is the person you deserve him to be.

Neoma Eltanin returned the hug, at first gently before she wrapped her arms properly around Bexy's torso. She pressed her face into her shoulder, appreciating the comfort from a dear friend, lingering for as long as she felt she dared. When enough time had passed, she carefully stepped back from Bexy's form and released her grip around her. "... It might take time until you can both see eye to eye... And I would blame neither of you for it. But I... I think in time, you will."

Neoma Eltanin: "While I can't say for certain what Dusk will think of you in the future... I think he will come to understand, and accept, that he does not need to fear you. That he can be next to you and know that he will be fine. And... If he truly wishes it, I think he can do his part for the company, even if it will take time for others to truly welcome him back again."

Bexy Amalaryssia gently releases Neoma as she parts. "...It is something he will have to earn, in regards to the company. And it will not be an easy task. Though i know well the peculiar intricacies of people and my own ways with them, i cannot speak for them. Some may never forgive him, and they too, should not be blamed. But... I hope you are right. That this puts him on a better path. Not just for him... For you." A softer, almost tender smile, then. "...So he can be the person you love that you deserve."

Neoma Eltanin nodded, and sighed. "You are right... And.. I won't blame them. I know Adelle will never be able to forgive and forget. But... I hope they can still be willing to work together, despite their feelings. Though it is unfair of me to ask for such mercy..." Her gaze fell for a moment before she faced Bexy again. "I love him because I have seen how kind and brave he can be. He has disappointed me immensely... Because I know he is better than this."

Neoma Eltanin: "I need him to... show that he has the honor I see in him." She paused, realizing something, and blushed. "... I know I also need to change. Be more... honest with myself, and towards others. Have some more... self-respect."

Bexy Amalaryssia offers a short chuckle, smile almost meeting her eyes. "...You do. There is no harm in knowing what you deserve, Neoma. You are kind; one of the kindest, most selfless people i know. But that does not mean that you must allow yourself to have anything less than what you deserve. If he does not know if he has made you unhappy... How else will he ever learn to be his best for you?"

Neoma Eltanin sighed, yet Bexy's words caused a small smile to form on her lips. "No, you're right. I thought that... if I pretended that everything was fine... it would be fine. That it was nothing worth arguing about. But... because of it, the... problems just kept growing, until they became too large to ignore. I won't let it happen again." She fiddled a bit with the fabric of her skirt. "... I really appreciate your words, Bexy. It is... reassuring to hear. Thank you."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Glad i am to hear it, Neoma..." Bexy releases her fully, to allow space to come between the two again. "...You are a most dear friend to me. I would do anything, to keep you safe. Anything, for you to be happy, you understand?" She smiles, dipping her head. "...I wish only the best for you."

Neoma Eltanin smiled softly, nodding. "I know... and... I would do the same for you, Bexy. I know how big your heart is, how gently yet fiercly it holds those who you love and cherish. Know that I wish for nothing but love your way. For you treasure it so dearly."

...She understands.

She understands what it means for me to love someone. Romantic, platonic, it does not matter; the depths are bottomless, and there is little i would not do for those i hold so dear.

Bexy Amalaryssia closes her eyes, beaming warmly. "...Of all the things i have held dear, it is one of the most important. Time, loyalty, and love. These three things above all others." Slowly, she casts a glance to the door. "...The sun will come soon, when he returns. Perhaps he and i will cross paths, and it will be a kinder, more pleasant time, than the last."

Neoma Eltanin: "I appreciate that, Bexy. Truly. You have... every right to be angry with him, and I would not ask you to act cordial. And yet..." She rested her hands clasped together in front of her skirt. "I hope that the next time you two meet, whenever that is, that you will be able to talk. Perhaps not agree... but understand. And that he has learned more about who you are."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "...We can only hope, hm?" She smiles. "...I should depart. Mist had mentioned she wished to speak with me, and i do not want to keep her too long. We will catch up soon, hm? Over rolanberry tea?"

Neoma Eltanin smiled gently and nodded. "Of course, go ahead. Rolanberry tea sounds lovely, I look forward to it."

Neoma Eltanin smiles at you.

Bexy Amalaryssia paces towards the door, head turned over her shoulder. "Until then, Neoma. Be well." Bexy smiles, and with a short wave of a gloved hand, she slips through the door.

...There are worse things to be done to a person. Pain is but that; a temporary, physical suffering which to me no longer leaves a scar. An inconvenience at best.

I will not hurt him, no. She has wept for him enough, and she needs no other to wound her in such a way.

But i swear to the Twelve, he had best be everything she deserves him to be.

For her sake... I will make it so.

#Muse: [Bexy]#Chapter: [Purpose]#FFXIV #IC #Screenshot #Writing #Textlog

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wack-jokes-and-hollow-rants · 1 year

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Rant 13

Really uh, not sure how to feel here. As the evident usual, this rant will be about my feelings of loneliness or isolation. I guess with some deeper thought it’s fitting that I’d go to my blog where I can talk to no one, when I feel like I wanna talk to someone but don’t have a particular someone I feel I can talk to about this. It’s an odd rant though because I’m all over the place on the “upset” scale here, other than the deepest and shallowest ends. I’m really not sure how I feel about it, or how I should feel about it, or how I want to feel about it, or even how I’m allowed to feel about it. To frame it in nice, vague terms: I’ve learned something. Something that I would’ve known sooner if anyone cared to tell me. And it’s not important, and it’s nothing that needed to be told to me. But idunno, just that I went so long not knowing, I guess I ended up taking it personally. Like, nobody cared to clue me in. A few people even cared to not clue me in, because it wasn’t important enough and they thought it’d be a little joke to not tell me I guess. I could almost take insult in that, but I don’t. I just see the writing on the wall: I didn’t know, nobody felt like changing that. I was just, not important enough to consider here one way or the other. To any given listener, other than probably wanting to desperately probe for some elaboration, I think they’d be understanding enough; they’d say yeah I can see why that’d be upsetting, if you felt like it’d be nice to know, or nice to be told. It’s not quite just that though, it’s more what that type of thing illuminates. I sort of just, don’t have someone for stuff like that, for the little things to be clued in on. I don’t have My People:tm: I guess. And the people I half-hang around, or the people I’m happy to see who are happy to see me but no futher... and so on, I guess they’re nice and they probably think I’m nice but I’m not really close to them. And for a bit I’ve been hoping that’d change, on their part. It’s more flattering that way y’know? Hey, we enjoy each other, but also I enjoy you enough that I’d like to know you better, to be closer. Let’s find more time for each other.... That sorta thing, it’s way nicer than me feeling like I’m trying to wedge my way into their life. That third wheel feeling, y’know, of just latching onto the fun of others. But now when I think about it? Idunno if that’s even what I want. It could be cowardice of course: if they’re not acting and I don’t plan on acting I should just remove that desire right? But truly thinking it out I can’t say just how well we’d get along, how close we’d be, anything like that. They’ve got close people, they’re happy to just be pleasant company with me. Why would they probe deeper, or want more from me? Whereas I still don’t have that, that sort of closeness. Someone to fill that role so I don’t feel this neediness where I want even those close to me to be closer and closer. Where even with friends and social approval I feel like I need something better and stronger and more approving. Maybe it’s outright love, maybe I’m at that point in life where I just really fucking want someone to love and someone to love me. Maybe it’s this one seed in me that’s gone unwatered and I just keep soaking the rest of me and wondering what’s wrong. Or maybe there’s just this closeness, this level of friendship I’ve been missing that I’ve always just assumed of other, lesser kinship. The end result lands the same though: I feel as though I need someone, or someones. And it makes me feel this sort of miserable and lonely and sad, and worse I don’t know how to get someone. People are difficult, for me anyway. I don’t open up too well in ways that matter. I don’t often care about when people open up to me. I don’t quite love the way I want to be loved, and it’s not really fair, so I can’t just hope to find an endless admirer. That’s Hurdle 3 though, Hurdle 2 is that even if I were the more willing and caring type, dating and socializing are very hit and miss, I can’t exactly just go out into the world and grab my love, or my family, or my best friend. It’s trial and error, and I’m impatient. I wouldn’t want to deal with the wrong people, certainly not many wrong people if need be, for the reward of finding the right one(s) someday. Hurdle 1 though, the steepest? I’m not willing to talk with people period. Those I socialize with so far are about all I’ve got these days, and I’m “happy” with that for the most part. It takes some effort and care to even keep up with that much at times, so how can I go and spread myself thinner in hopes of others to be with? It sounds like work I don’t want and I’m way too antisocial to suck it up. In ways I’m happy being alone, but... I guess when it’s also something similar to my only option I start thinking the grass looks quite green on the other side.

#WaJoAnHoRa #needed this out of my system #maybe one day life will throw me a bone or I'll finally adapt #but for now it's moaning and groaning as all the wrong kind of nothing happens #weirdly this rant made me like actually sleepy #like I keep fluttering my eyes a bit and wanting to doze off

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captainkaladinstormblessed · 7 years

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unforth-ninawaters replied to your post: For tropes…how about…fantasy AUs?

OMG THAT SOUNDS AMAZING!! When I sent it I’ll admit I was letting my mind wander into Finn/Poe fantasy AU territory too… :)

thanks! ayyy yes! :)

omg okay. but what if. so Finn is the prince of some land, and Poe was part of a border patrol for a different country that got captured and Finn’s visiting the fortress where theyre being held to observe, learn, and prepare for future rule, except he hates the way the king runs things and especially after he accompanies a raiding party to a border town. so he breaks the prisoners out on the condition that they take him with them, and theres some trust stuff, Finn could be a spy after all.

But on the journey back to Poe’s home city, Finn proves himself time and again and they meet a scavenger and turns out Reys been looking after Poes dog BB8 who ran away and wasnt caught with the squad. And Finn and Poe get close on the way back. And then when they do get there, turns out Finns king has been saying the prisoners escaped and kidnapped Finn and some drama happens about what to do with Finn and whether hes a spy or something, but Poe trusts him and Leia trusts Poe so Finn gets questioned and tells them everything he knows and tries to help take down his old land,

But things get hairy as they always do and theres a battle trying to get Finn back and all Finn ever wanted to do was get away but he can see Phasma across the field with Poe and he can’t let anything happen to him dammit he’s in love with the guy so he gives himself up even while Poe’s trying to convince him not to and to run cos he isn’t worth it but Finn doesnt listen because Poe is worth so much and saved him before and now its Finns turn to save Poe and…….

i think im gonna stop there because theres at least three ways i can see this going and it has suddenly turned into a full fledged fic that i really wanna write :D

#unforth-ninawaters #replies #finnpoe #star wars #this went way futher than i thought it would and i LOVE IT #fic #fic.liz #sw fic #sw: s #fandom: Star Wars #au #sw au #fantasy au

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tinteacosplay · 3 years

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A bit more steamy draft I wrote because I needed too. Ineffable husbands getting hot and suddenly their wings fall out unexpectedly. Enjoy:)

Em...Crowley

Yes?

Oh no, never mind, it is too silly

The angel twisted on the spot on the coutch in the bookshop. Crowley got the massage and hurried to say something.

Anything for you Angel…I mean it.

He took off his glasses.

Can you…hold me?

Oh er, angel...‘curse I can~

There was a Pause where both tried to find a comfortable position. Crowleys arm hugged the angels shoulders closing the gap between them. They say like that for a while enjoying the warmth.

Crowley…

Mmm…

I- well, could you…

…yeah?

Aziraphale noticed how Crowley was about to drift off to sleep and it made Aziraphale hesitate.

What’s troubling your delicate head, angel?

Eh, it’s nothing…

Crowley was about to move away, thinking he might be bothering the angel in some way. The angel took a shallow breath and heard himself utter in surprise.

No please! Touch me~

...A-am I not?

Crowley teased, he tried his best to maintain his face getting hot. he instantly felt bad about it since azirapaphale was so vonereble and insecure about more intimate things. he was afraid the angel would easily let it go and Crowley wasn’t ready to let this mood go to waist.

Oh!…

The angel clapped his hands over his face in embarrassment. His blush went so violent he looked like he would turn in on himself. Crowley was stunned for a moment but faced the angel.

No no angel, I’m only teasing. I’d love to~

He slide smoothly slide closer and sneaked his hands under the angels coat to the area of his armpits. A place he knew would sell well. The angel in turn had slided futher down on the cusins, almost laying down underneith the demon. In shock Aziraphale’s hands had grabbed onto Crowleys shoulders staring into the demons yellow snake eyes he knew so well.

Is this something you had in mind?

Oh goodness Crowley!~

Too much? Too much-

-no! Wait…go on~

The angel sighed happily as the demon smiled at him and did as he was told.

Angel, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted to try this!

Show me, dear boy~

the angel held his breath, it was too good to be true. That energy, it made him so alive. Crowleys hands went to his chest, caressing his way down to his stomach. he paused when he felt the angel stiffen to the touch slightly. The demon sighed softly.

If it’ll make you more comfortable I can talk you through this. Like explain how much I admire your choice of human form.

He locked eyes with the angel. He knew very well this was one of his weak spots. He knew how the other angels have been cruel when it came to Aziraphales choice of physicality and lifestyle.

I’ll let you know a secret.

He tried again to touch the angels stomach but more carefully this time.

This is my favourite part about your human form~

No, no you can’t mean that.

Oh! but I do~

He hissed near the angels ear, beaming with joy. He hugged the angel gently closer to his own form.

Aww, Crowley~ you do really?

At that the demon squeezed lovingly at the angels sides and borrowed his head under his chin. Aziraphale, he always thought would be like hugging a stuffed animal, a teddy bear. This was better than that.

Always so…welcoming~

Aziraphale relaxed and leaned against the demons touch. So safe and loved.

That’s a good angel~

Crowley~

No, really, you’re so soft! how can I possibly refuse?

Crowley hissed again and let his tongue out slightly. He tried kissing carefully at Aziraphale’s neck and shoulders. The angel couldn’t stand it to the point he’d covered his eyes with his hands. The tounge was on a whole other level, so much more intimate. The sensation was outstanding. That was until Crowley had found his mouth.

Oh dear, oh dear! it’s too much, dear. Wait..

The angel pulled back and panicked on how much he was in need of all this love just pouring out of the demon. He suddenly realised what was happening.

Oh…You sure?

Pause of the angel stroking his hands up and down Crowleys arms, not in control as much as he’d like to be. He looked down emberrest at how much he’d wanted to be close to Crowley. His soul was screaming for closeness.

No~

The demon let out the most adorable chuckle and aziraphale had to kiss him, despite his dignity. He came with such force both of them staggered through the shop. In that short moment a lot happened.

It felt like they were flying and Crowley was light as air itself. Extraordinary shivers showers him all the same. Crowleys eyes was half closed when he glimpsed something white shot out of Aziraphale’s back. His wings had came out. His own, he felt were about to do the same. The strange force of emotion had struck them at the same time. In a Flash the moment was over and Crowley bumped hard into a bookshelf. He was not at all prepared and groaned, flushed from the passion he had been receiving. His wings didn’t catch his back.

Aziraphale gasped and snapped back to reality, swinging one arm in a circle to prevent the books from falling. They stopped for a second, hovering slightly and then landed safely on to the floor.

My goodness! what has gotten into me? We can’t continue like this, it will destroy all my book collections!

Yeah, only if you pull out the wing trick again

Crowley was still in a bit of shock with one hand rubbing his back. He didn’t see or feel any wings from his part.

My wings? But I didn’t-

The angel and the demon shared a look. It was strange to not be aware or in control of one’s transition into a more ethereal being. It had never happened before to either of them.

I did feel like mine were coming out as well.

Aziraphale tried to gather himself while placing back the books on their representative shelf with his hands directing them where to go.

Well…there’s always my place…

Then what about your, your music collection?

…Or the Bentley-

But you love your car, how is your car less valuable than- oh never mind me. I’ll have to calm down.

The angel huffed extremely flustered by the thought of the suggestion. Then the familiar concern was back upon his face. He stepped further away from Crowley.

The point is, what I’m trying to say is-

Crowley, we could just, oh I don’t know, try again Tomorrow…

Angel-

He took hold of Aziraphale’s hands and held them to his heart.

Before you say anything, Angel. I’m so glad you want me. I don’t want this to end, not tonight. So please could we, maybe…just Hug for a while? Nothing more, not tonight, like you said.

The angels eyes shined. His blue eyes winded, happily gazing at him. How did he always know how to make him feel so safe? There was no way on earth, hell or heaven the angel would spend his time doing anything else, than being with Crowley. From now on it was impossible. Not when the only person he truly cared for was begging to stay with him.

Of course we can~ I would like nothing else.

Crowley smiled weakly at Aziraphale who cupped his cheeks in his warm hands. The angels frowned forehead had dissolved yet again. A small pause of staring lovingly at one another Crowley finally asked.

Are we going to discuss about the wing situation? I’m quite intrigued.

Certainly, I do have a theory.

The angel blushed slightly, he patted Crowley cheek as they went to settle down on the brown couch close to Aziraphale’s working area.

…

The following day Crowley lay sleeping on Aziraphale’s lap and woke up lazily stretching and yawning.

Good morning you

Mornin’ angel

May I go switch book?

Nah, I’d like to propose something. I got inspired from dreams I’ve had tonight.

Alright, go on then.

Er, well my dream was actually about us, not in a bad way, than again it depends on how you look at it. Anyway! it involved what we were doing yesterday.

Crowley paused to see the angels reaction. It stayed neutral, perhaps a bit nervous.

And I think our late night speculation about our wings bursting out got to my imagination as well.

Mhm, interesting, and?

Crowley got up suddenly and cradled the angels lap between his own long slank legs.

How about we try again but full on ethereal style!? I have so many ideas now!

Crowley!

The angel squicked incredibly confused and flustered. In shock yet Playfully he pushed his book against Crowleys chest so to make him fall off.

Oh don’t be shy Angel, it will be fun, up you go!

But the books!?

Oh yeah, almost forgot

Crowley stopped dragging the angel from the couch and looked out the window.

We’ll drive somewhere with enough space for two bewinged creatures!

There is no stopping you, is there?

Crowley dragged the angel close to his side and nudged the side of his neck. Aziraphale answers with a heartfelt chuckle at the affection and let the demon have the lead.

Nope! We’ll have dinner after, my treat of course!

#headcanon #fanfiction #fictional characters #good omens #good omens fanfiction #anthony j crowley #aziraphale x crowley #aziraphale #aziraphale and crowley #aziraphale x crowley fanfiction #aziraphale x crowley headcanon #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots

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sorry-i-ship-drarry · 3 years

Text

14. A promise of forever

Prompt used - putting an arms around others waist | warning- hurt/comfort, fighting| draco and harry are set to marry each other without draco's parents blessings|

Harry was inexplicably thankful for kreacher's sudden appearance that he wanted to pick him and spin him in the room but following to the conduct he decided not to.

" shall kreacher bring master and his guest the desert now ?" He asked. Harry roamed his eyes around the table waiting for someone to at least drop a sign but when nobody gave any, he decided to just answer for everybody, after all they had been sitting on the table for the past 15 minutes with everyone almost done with eating

" you may bring it kreacher. Thank you" harry smiled at him

" kreacher lives to serve his master " kreacher bowed and left

" I think it was the best for everybody right..." Harry awkwardly said

" of course, you're always thinking of everyone else, don't you! I could've asked for desert If I wan-"

" enough father" draco snapped on side of harry. Harry immediately locked his fingers with draco under the table as to ask him to tone down.

" you dare speak like that to me " Lucius snapped angrily

" yes I do. He was only answering for you when nobody chose to " draco snapped back. Narcissa on Lucius' side lightly grasped Lucius's hand to maybe do the same harry was doing.

"I knew It was only a matter of time you disrespected me, I wouldn't be surprised if he have you under some bloody spell or potion, otherwise my son would've never talked to me like that " Lucius insulted draco. Harry felt draco clasp his hand tighter but he dared not to leave his hand. He wanted to interject but draco had Always made this clear, never to come between him and his father no matter how much he wanted to.

" why is it so hard for you to believe father that I love a man that I will marry who doesn't have me under any spell or potion. All we did was try to have one last nice dinner with you here before we got married but you have always defied of it, haven't you " draco now rose up, slamming his fist on the table leaving Harry's hands.

" he spent the entire day trying to help kreacher to make your favourite delicacies, your favourite food, he fucking fluffed the pillows 17 times. He did all of this for you but you don't even have enough decency to be nice to the man I've chosen to marry "

" you had to marry Astoria. You needed to but I'm sure he's filled your head with the whole non pure blood mania. You were born and raised to continue the malfoy's name, continue the pure blood line but my son, have chosen to marry a man.Do you even know how disgusting it is to everyone who see me. People will never accept you-"

" I don't care about the people. I don't care about the fucking pure blood mania , I don't care about continuing you wishes , I- don't- care- father. All I've done was always for your pleasure but for once when I want something of my own you frown upon, you disagree upon it. What kind of father does that ?" Draco voice had grown hoarse from the pain and all the yelling. Harry clasped the side of draco's pants to pull him down but when Lucius had stood up, he knew there was no way this was as going to end well.

" that's enough Draco, he's you father. All he's ever done is to make you happy " narcissa snapped on the other side

Draco laughed airily, " father you say , to keep me happy. A Father don't bloody get their son a damn mark and not just any mark , nobody get their son to become a fucking death Eater when he's 16. If he thought even a tiny bit about me being happy-"

" draco sit down" harry nervously stood next to draco to pull him down but he only went on

" he would've never bullied me into getting one. I cried to you, I begged you to not let me become one but you didn't care. You told me griffindors were the dirt of my shoe yet here I am the happiest I've ever been. You never ever were fucking there for me father, you never were. You never even came to any of my matches, let alone you didn't even come to my graduation day. You only did everything you ever did because it made you happy " a tear slipped down from draco's eyes but he didn't set back.

" If I hadn't fed you, you'd had never been alive draco. You are and will never be anything without me "Lucius angrily yelled

" yeah, I am everything without you. I am a goddamn potions master at a school and you know what your money didn't get me that " draco yelled back

" I don't care father if you agree upon my marriage anymore. I thought I wanted to but now I don't. All you've done the past months is gave me shit about me and my fiance and I will no longer have that-"

" then you are no son of mine "

" AND YOU ARE NO FATHER OF MINE "

And Lucius stormed out of there with narcissa. Draco fell back in his chair after he heard the door slammed shut, putting his face in his hands.

" love-" harry had only begun but draco had interrupted him

" not today harry. I need to be alone " draco replied almost trembling and then walked out of the room.

Kreacher appeared again " how was the dinner, master ?"

" disastrous but food was great kreacher" harry sighed and leaned back on his chair.

__________________________

" bloody hell " Ron exclaimed as he dropped all he collected in the grocery cart

" it was worse than a disaster Ron. It was worse than when I fought voldemort. And above all, draco didn't come out of the room all night after that. I only saw him in the morning before he left for work" harry said as they pushed the cart forward

" I knew Lucius was going to be hard on this one but this is just Blimey, that was harsh even for draco you know "

" I know " harry sighed.

" and I don't even know what to do, should I talk to him ? Or should I just let him vent without saying anything ? I don't know. This is just too complicated you know. Although a part of me knew they would never along on the whole marriage thing but this was far worse than anything I ever imagined. I've never seen Draco lose his temper in front of his father like that. I know he can be you know a bit out of control but this was new " harry explained as they walked into the cashier's and started Billing the items.

" I think you should talk to him, I mean if it were my mum or dad I would've wanted them to come to my wedding but it's hard to imagine them not being co-operative you know, they sort of Always get along. He needs you though. Out of everyone you're the only who would understand, think you should talk besides I think it'd be good for the marriage, you know the honesty and understanding "Ron said as he picked up the bills and the items into the bag, smiling at the cashier and walking out of the departmental store.

" that's Hermione talk" harry rolled his eyes but he knew Ron was right

" well you know being married to mione' have it's side effects. For example grocery shopping " Ron shrugged. Harry looked at Ron before be chuckled nodding.

Later harry decided to stick with Ron's words and talk to draco, so when he came back from work, after they had a peaceful dinner in silence and was clearing up the table so kreacher only had Washing to do, harry decided to talk..

" are you okay, draco ?"

" of course I am " Draco gave a small smile and went back to picking up the thing's

" no I mean babe are you really okay ?" Harry stopped him from collecting futher and made him face harry.

" I am fine really " he knew Draco was lying, he could read draco like an open book

"you can talk to me you know, it's fine. I understand what happened at the dinner " harry spoke softly

" what happened at the dinner was something yes but I'm fine alright, we don't have to talk about this " draco sighed

Harry knew he was going to regret this but he still went on

" look I know it's bothering you, I can see it. We've never not talked about things like this before and this was the most disastrous of all"

" thank you for enlightening me with that " Draco rolled his eyes crossing his arms in front of him

" no but draco we can't start a marriage like this. We have to be honest with each other, we are going to promise that to each other. It's not more than 2 weeks away and things will get really busy from tomorrow onwards with the whole wedding and I don't want this thing to keep hanging over your head " harry explained

" it won't okay -"

" draco, please just talk to me -"

" what do you want me to say then that it sucks ? The dinner sucked? The dinner was beyond disastrous ? What do you want me to say ? There is never going to be solution to this harry and it's high time you understood that" draco threw his hands in the air in pure exhaustion

" I understand the Dinner was disastrous -"

" do you harry? Really do you ? Because if I remember correctly, my father was the one yelling at me and insulting me but you were sitting there quietly like it was some tv show you could enjoy "

A weird look etched on Harry's face " I wasn't enjoying the damn dinner draco, I was as invested as you were and I didn't step in because it's between you and your father "

" right because I'm the only one who's marrying right ? You know what it doesn't even matter, this conversation is done " draco said sternly with hand movements

" no it's not. I didn't step in because you always tell me to not step in between you two-"

" well for once you could've stepped in, you knew it wasn't a normal fight. Sometimes you just have to understand on your own -"

" i can't read your fucking mind draco. When I did step in once you told me to not meddle in and now you're saying I should've. What are you even implying at , that I should just know by myself to know when to step in and when not to " Harry's voice raised unconsciously

" harry we're getting married for fucks sake, by now you should be able to understand when to and when not to, I can't baby feed you and tell you when to step in " draco snapped

" I'm marrying you, not assigning for a job draco. I can't control what the damned father of yours say " harry Snapped back

" just leave it harry-"

" no, we are having this conversation. You say we're getting married right so let's have the adult conversation. Tell me -"

" fine, want me to tell you what's bothering me, he disowned me harry. He yelled at me while my mother just sat there watching it and when she could've easily supported me she told me to talk to that man she called my father with respect. Do you even realise that we don't have their fucking blessing ? That I'm getting married in two weeks and I don't have a bloody blessing! Do you realise that my parents won't be at my damned wedding that we're spending so much on, that my father wouldn't walk me down the isle or that my parents wouldn't shed a single tear because they rejected the fucking invitation, do you realise what it's like growing upto to imagining what would it be like to have to marry someone you love and your parents' being proud of it but my parents are not. They've not only disrespected me but disowned,do you even know how that feels or its just Empty words-"

" I do know how that feels draco " harry said almost calmly but confused

" right as if, you would? Do you though really? You say understand everything but you can't understand this and you know why because you don't have a family or a father or a mother- fuck - "

" harry- I didn't -"

" yeah, you didn't mean it ? Say it go ahead" Harry's jaw clenched as tears formed in his eyes

" I'm didn't really harry " draco almost plead coming back to his senses

" you wouldn't had said it if you didn't mean it draco but you know what you're right. I don't have a a father or a mother but I do know I have a family, Ron, Hermione, they're my family and I thought you're too but they would never throw it in my face that I don't have one because they know they are my family but I suppose you don't feel like that. I don't think in all this time we've been together you've ever felt like I was your family so If you do ever feel like that draco then you can come and find me, otherwise don't " harry Snapped in tears and stormed out, abandoning a teary draco in the middle of the kitchen.

Draco soon understood how badly he had screwed up.

_________________________

" so you're still in a fight but the wedding's still on ?" Ron asked as he chewed on his lunch.

" I'm assuming the weddings still on since the event planner called this morning and asked if we still wanted lilies instead of orchids since draco had called her a while before that to confirm it" harry sighed staring at his food.

" but you've got to talk to him someday-"

" but he's the one-"

" Blimey harry I know he's the one who bought your parents up and he's wrong but I'm sure he's sorry. He did say he didn't mean it -"

" if he didn't, he wouldn't had said it " harry almost snapped

" mate no need to yell. We do a lot of things out of anger you know, like I said the same thing while we were on the run right and you casted a sectum semptra but never meant it. come on don't be a hypocrite. Couple's have fights you know and I'm sure you both have a lot to but work on it harry. You can't marry while you're mad at him, can you?" Ron raised his eyebrows at him.

Harry assessed his words, he was indeed right, he didn't wanted to marry draco while they were on a fight but it's almost been a week and the wedding was only one week away and draco hadn't even called to check upon him while he crashed at Ron's.

" but he hasn't contacted me yet, doesn't seems like he care " harry said exhausted

" I don't know why he have not yet but I am sure he will. You know it harry, the whole wedding is just upon your heads, you both are very busy with everything, I'm sure he wants you to tone down a little bit " Ron said as he packed his lunch after finishing

Harry looked at Ron for a moment, knowing he was right " what in Merlin's name have you been reading ?"

Ron chuckled at harry " it's mione harry. All her. Though she makes me watch some show about stuff like this "

" I'm pretty sure she is "Harry chuckled at Ron and soon they both left to resume with their work.

Turned out Ron was right, draco did eventually contacted harry 3 days before the wedding. They had gotten so busy in the last few days that harry had almost forgotten to meet draco and reached a bit later than the assigned time.

" fuck sorry, this whole thing have gotten so hectic, I completely lost track of time then Hermione had to remind me " harry said as he took of his jacket approaching draco who was standing behind the railings of the roof of an old stocks building in Burton street.

" tell me about it " draco chuckled as he took harry jacket and kept it along with his " I've put the warming charm by the way, don't want you rambling about how you're just cold and not freezing to death"

Harry chuckled and almost forgotten he had even been mad at Draco and let the words slip " I missed you "

Draco's features softened and kissed Harry's cheeks " I've missed you so much more and I'm sorry I didn't ask to meet earlier Bernie had been eating my head about the wedding"

" seriously ?! I mean she asked me at least 200 hundred times if I still wanted the white and green collection and if we're still on for lilies which by the way she yelled at me for,for changing it in last moment's so thanks to you "

Draco grinned at harry " yeah - I just - after that fight that I just feel terrible saying that about your parents' and you told me once before that your mother's name was lily and I thought it'd be nice to have a symbol of her presence. I thought you would have figured that out, you didn't apparently"

Harry's grin fell into something almost pained but with pleasure, he took draco's hands in his own and kissed his knuckles " thank you for that and I am sorry too you know about everything I said that night -"

" are you kidding ? I should be the one who should be sorry , you were only trying to get it out of my system and I yelled at you for that. It was terrible of me " draco sighed.

Harry smiled softly at Draco and leaned closer to cup his face " we're both sorry I guess.. welcome to Adult conversations "

Draco chuckled kissing the inside of Harry's hands " fuck I've missed you so much and you'd be surprised to know that kreacher was as arse to me because I fought with you. He deliberately made me eat treacle tart because of it " harry chuckled Shaking his head " he is a true.. well elf "

Draco smiled at Harry's choice of words for not calling kreacher servant, that's one of the immense amount of things he loved about harry.

" I'm still sorry " draco smiled

" me too "

And in unspoken words they had said plenty of things.

It was only on the night of wedding during the reception when to draco a miracle happened.

" how are they here?" He asked harry but he only shrugged.

Draco immediately hugged harry and slowly with him approached their parents sitting on one of the tables.

" you came ?" His voice almost broke

" well your father is a bit drunk but yes we are here. I wouldn't had missed it for the world honey. I know your father is a tough man to be with but I am and will always be by your side " narcissa gave draco a firm smile before she hugged them congratulations. Draco had immediately hugged back tearing up about them showing up and how much it meant to him right now.

In all the chaos of the wedding congratulations and talking, harry hadn't realised that draco had been gone for almost 20 minutes now. Harry had almost spent 10 minutes looking for draco when he found that draco was standing by the waters .

Harry slowly and carefully approached draco

" only draco Lucius Malfoy would be the groom to be missing on his own wedding " harry chuckled.

" you almost scared me there for a second " draco smiled as he offered harry his hand to take it, he did .

" looks beautiful doesn't it. The reflection" draco said pointing to the middle of the waters

" well this reflection is also very beautiful " harry pointed to the one much more nearer to them, it was draco's reflection

" are you always going to be this cheesy because if you are, I'm running away " draco chuckled

" hey you've already married me " harry chuckled as he now pulled draco much more closer to him and slowly kissed his forehead.

" thank you " draco mumbled softly pushing his hands Inside Harry's coat, crossing behind his back and resting his head over his chest.

" what for ?" Harry asked as he wrapped his arms around Draco's waists

" I know you bought them here " draco spoke softly still looking forward.

Harry smiled as he created more space for draco to fit his head into the crook of his neck " I knew how much it meant to you. I always understand draco, I always do. It took a bit of a yelling but it got them here and as for your father, I'm sure one day he'll come around "

" I know now" draco said after a few moments

" know what ?" Harry asked slightly looking at Draco. He tilted his head so he'd face harry

" that spending the rest of my life will never be a mistake and how you are really my family "

Harry smiled at Draco fondly, he too knew that spending the rest of his life with draco would never be a mistake, the difference though was, he Always knew that.

And then they softly kissed.

It was 19 years later when harry was seeing pictures from Ron's photo album he discovered the photo of harry and draco's wedding from the time they were by the river.

" hey, Ron how do you have this picture ?" He asked

Ron furrowed his eyebrows seeing it more carefully then as if something had clicked he responded " I think I got this from narcissa's album, think I had planned to give it to you someday but always forgotten. You can take it if you want "

" do you know who took it ?" Harry asked as he examined the beautiful picture of them kissing

" I think she said it was Lucius who took it" Ron simply replied shrugging and went back to flipping pages again.

And harry stared at the picture again, after 19 years of marriage he still kisses draco like he kissed on the day of the wedding by the river because in that one kiss they had promised each other a forever and now he knew what their forever looked like.

Requests open

Day 13- love is a choice | Day 15 - nobody can ever be you

48 notes · View notes

bloody-wonder · 3 years

Note

heyyy okay so I just saw a post where people basically called the fandom out for ignoring the fact that Andrew is “abusive as fuck” to the other monsters while still bashing seth and aaron for their homophobia and I just uhhh- I would really like to hear your thoughts on this pls? Cus while I can definitely see how andrews relationship with them is not at all normal or healthy in many ways, I don’t really feel like abusive is the right word for it, is that just me?

firstly, while we’re on this topic i’d like to say a couple of words about the aaron discourse that seems to be back in fashion.

in fandoms we have this interesting desire to rank *problematic* behaviors in order of their graveness and then act as if this ranking is objective for all people everywhere. this is where the “you hate aaron bc he’s homophobic? well your fave actually killed a person so“ argument comes from. while there’s logic to the idea that being murdered is worse than being called a slur, for people who experience homophobia irl on a daily basis a fictional murder will never be as upsetting as fictional homophobia. conversely, other fans who don’t fall into this category but might relate to aaron for different reasons (bc he happens to be a well-rounded character) are confused by how he’s branded as the worst while the other foxes (especially the monsters) are right there and feel the need to make the fandom appreciate him more by writing that kind of posts comparing his flaws and shortcomings to those of the other foxes according to the questionable but binding ranking of all sins. and round and round the discourse goes bc the latter party can’t imagine how for many people homophobia can take the highest rank of Problématique despite being “not as bad as murder” or whatever.

if you’re able-bodied and able-minded it’s likely that all the ableism in aftg went over your head. if you’re not queer and haven’t experienced homophobia it might be easier for you to look past it in aaron’s case and be able to appreciate him as a character despite it. if “asexual spectrum” and “amatonormativity” are terms you don’t give much thought to in your day-to-day life, you probably see nicky in a completely different light than i do. all of these things are objectively wrong but if one is worse than the other is completely subjective for each individual. there will always be people who like aaron and those who dislike him and i’m afraid no amount of discourse will drastically change their opinions.

returning to your question, a lot can be said about andrew and all the bad things he does. a lot has been said. if you’re after some good andrew bashing i feel like there are quite a few blogs out there who can provide. even in our corner of the fandom where we worship and idolize andrew joseph minyard we still discuss his flaws from time to time. the only reason we haven’t done that recently is bc according to our latest decree “andrew hasn’t done anything wrong ever and we love him and in fact he deserves more opportunities to stab people”. so the argument that andrew’s problematic behaviors don’t get discussed enough doesn’t seem true to me. but it’s not really about that, is it? it’s about not enough people liking aaron and seth and too many people liking andrew - according to op. whereas his crimes are higher (or at least as high) in the ranking of crimes - according to op. but here’s the thing - like i said all of this is very subjective, some people just like andrew despite everything and will never like aaron no matter how strong your argument in his favor is. they’re not politicians in an election campaign, they’re imaginary people who we get attached to bc they make us feel better about ourselves. but if they were politicians and the election was held on tumblr andrew would win in a landslide just bc the voters are mostly queer and andrew’s gay and aaron’s homophobic. that’s how it works.

and finally as for the word “abusive”, before i used to get mad at how people use it all too often and dilute its meaning but nowadays i’m just wondering if this is just simple etymological evolution: at first “abusive” was used to designate only the gravest kinds of mistreatment, but then people became aware of its rhetorical effect and now this word seems to mean “acts i personally find unacceptable” - which can range from more to less harmful. for the sake of intelligible discussions it would be helpful to use different words for different acts in that range, but you can’t really generate enough engagement with words like “annoying”, “offensive” or “harmful” and many users don’t really pursue intelligible discussion anyway. i personally like the word “problematic” which suits me well bc it requires futher explanation of why you perceive something as a problem and it doesn’t have the indicator of its graveness built in. however, i can also see how bc it’s been overused in the past to the point where it itself became a meme, some people can’t take it seriously anymore. “problematic” sounds like a joke so people have to call things “abusive” to be taken seriously. “abusive” is the new “problematic”. this is something i perceive as well so i often try to distance myself from the word by writing it in funny ways but i still use it bc i know no better umbrella term for things that i consider “not good” but wouldn’t go as far as to call them “abusive”.

that being said, what exactly you designate as *problematic* matters as well. for example, i would call some of andrew’s behaviors problematic bc, you know, they are a problem, but i wouldn’t call his relationship with the monsters problematic. strained, difficult, lacking communication, even “not a friendship” if you wish, but no, not problematic and certainly not abusive.

#andrew minyard #aaron minyard #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg mine #aftg ask #i love aaron with all my heart but if i had to choose between him and andrew i wouldn’t hesitate even for a second #just bc andrew is one of the main characters and we spend so much more time with him and so i feel like i know him much better #whereas with aaron interpretations can differ drastically #like i love my version of aaron but it’s mostly self-projection you know #sorry for the huge ass rant but i've been seeing my mutuals make *you're allowed to dislike aaron* posts for several weeks now #and i'm upset that they feel the need to #fellow aaron stans who make people feel like they're not allowed to hate aaron #shame on you #anyways #if everybody likes him the aaron market will become inflated #we need people with healthy disgust for aaron's homophobia and generally unpleasant personality #so that our biome can thrive

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elles-writing · 3 years

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Flowers for a girl

A/N: This still comes back sometimes, so I thought why not to write it down, though I don't exactly remember some parts of it for some reason (is it ptsd? idk), but in Middle-Earth AU, Kili is little younger (12-13 in human years, in TH he'd be like 16-17 i guess. Reader is 10-11 years old) and it happens before TH events. It's something different than I usually write, because it's based off on my personal experiences, so...yeah.

I wanted to write it down mainly for myself, to accept my past. If this is happening to you, please seek for help!! Better be safe than sorry. If you'd needed to, my ask box and messages are open, if you need to talk.

Warnings/triggers: description of emotional and physical bullying, body shaming, very low self esteem of reader, hints of swearing, eating disorder thoughts, mention of catcalling

If any of these is triggering you, please don't read this story!! Even if there is fluff, there are still these.

"Look at that fatty," one of the boys laughed into her direction. Y/n felt tears swelling in her eyes.

Don't cry, don't cry.

"How much do you weight? I bet as much as a pig!"

"You are so ugly and fat!" The other one said and pushed her. Y/n tried to do anything, but she was too scared.

"No, give it back, that's mine!" She said, when the boys took her sketchbook.

"Look at those drawings, they're like so bad," one of them pointed at them.

"Give it to me back!" She tried to grab him, but he put his arm up.

Don't cry, please, don't cry, not now...

"Ah, then come and get it!" He runned away, and Elle tried to catch him, but he was quicker.

"Ha! You out of breath already, you ugly fat pig? C'mon, come for it!" Him and other boys laughed. Y/N tried to catch his shirt, but he was running and jumping around.

"Look at how she jumps, look at her! It's like pudding!" They laughed. Y/N felt tears to come up into her eyes.

Don't cry, not now, you can't...

"Look, she's gonna cry!" You looked away, blinking furiously.

You can't cry in front of them.

"Leave her alone!" A voice came from behind the boys. They all looked back at him.

Y/N couldn't see him, she was shorter than them, and they were around her in a circle.

"Or what?" Said one.

"Look, the fatty got a boyfriend, eww!" One of the boys, and Y/N wanted to hide somewhere. She felt scared, shameful, and embarrassed.

Who would have ever loved her?

"Look, she's not speaking," they pushed her and Elle let out a surprised gasp as she fell to the ground.

"I'm saying it again, leave her alone," the other boy said. She looked around, and noticed him looking at her. She blushed, and looked away. He was handsome.

She knew she will hear about it later.

"Or what? What are you?"

"I'm Kili, from the line of Durin, and I would suggest you to get out, if you don't want me to kill you," he growled out, and Y/N felt fear rising in her. Would he hurt her?

Kili pointed the tip of one of his daggers to the main boy's throat, who then quickly took his friends and went away. They even threw her her sketchbook back.

"Did they hurt you?" Kili asked, then looked down at her for the first time.

She refused to look at him at first, but then she did. She was scared, and reminded Kili of a bunny.

She could be around ten years old. She was a human, he guessed, based on her ears.

"No, I'm...I'm okay," Y/N whispered and looked away.

"Thank you," she muttered.

"What happened? Why did they followed you?" Y/N looked down in her lap.

"I was drawing and reading here. I think they seen me, and went after me...it's been my safe place," You whispered.

"I can stay with you, in case they would come back," Kili offered before he thought of it. At this point, he was sitting down next to her.

"I-I don't know. They would laugh at both of us..." she said quietly, fearing of a wave of laugh. Kili furrowed his brows.

"How long has this been happening to you?"

"For over a year..." you said.

"I'm Y/n," she said a little awkwardly.

"I'm Kili," Kili introduced himself, remembering how his mother taught him to introduce himself.

"So that's decided, I'm staying with you," he said, and muttered some curses in Khuzdul, as he thought about the group.

"H-here, take my coat. It's getting cold," he said. She smiled nervously.

"Don't worry, I won't let them hurt you anymore," He offered her a smile, and she decided to take his offer, though she hoped he won't comment on her warming up face, or her body. She liked him, he was not just handsome, but actually kind to her.

It has never happened to her ever before, with a guy, who was a stranger...

The coat was big on her (that was a huge relief) and she cuddled into it.

"So, what are we going to do now?"

"Well, I-" Y/N didn't finished her sentence, because the first drop fell on her head, and other quickly started following. She gasped and quickly put her belongings to her bag. As she finished, it was raining heavily now. Her hair was soaking wet, sticking to her head.

Now he will see how I'm ugly, and laugh at me and call me names, and- she wanted to cry. Kili noticed her expression.

"So they did hurt you? Where is it?" Y/n shook her head, as they walked in the heavy rain.

"N-no, I just...I hope the sketchbook didn't got wet," she decided for the safer version.

"But you got wet. Where do you live?"

"Well...around twenty minutes of walk," Y/N said, so if anything, he wouldn't try to find her, though she was kind. But just to be safe.

"I'll take you home with me, it's not that far," Kili offered, and you quickly turned to him. He was kind, but her parents warned her about going somewhere with strangers.

"I-I think it's okay, thank you for your offer,"

"You are going to get wet to bone if you keep walking," Kili said and Y/N looked at him, but quickly looked away. The rain sticked Kili's hair and clothes to his body, and she blushed.

He surely has a girlfriend, don't be stupid, she snapped at herself.

He would never want to be with you, you are a child, and he is older. And he is super kind and handsome.

"Alright, then...I will go with you," you said unsurely. She thought she would think of something, if anything would go wrong. Plus, he was a prince. Y/N doubted he would do anything like this, if he was a prince.

"Amad, I'm home!" Kili said as he closed the door behind him. Y/N curiously looked around. It was a nice small house, with the smell of bread hanging in the air.

"Come with me," Kili said, and as Y/N was about to make a step, she noticed the puddle, and how she was soaked.

Before Y/N knew it, she was sitting in clean dry clothes, borrowed from Kili, wrapped in sweater and a blanket, sipping on warm tea.

"Kili, who is this?" Dis asked her son quietly. Kili looked at the human girl.

"Well, some boys called her names, so I went there, and then started raining, so I told her to come with me, because she told me she lives futher away, and she was soaking wet already..." Dis nodded, though she eyed her son, if he wasn't hiding anything.

"Where do you live, dearie?" Dis asked the little girl, who shyly looked around.

"I live near that small forest, my family owns multiple fields, and we work there," she admitted to the woman, who introduced herself as Dis.

"Would you like to have anything else to eat?" She offered her. Y/N shook her head. She didn't wanted to embarrass herself, and look like all she could do was to eat.

"No, thank you for your offer," she smiled, and carefully sipped on her tea.

The rain stopped, and Dis went with the girl where she lived, to explain what happened, and make sure she was safe.

Kili didn't seen the girl for next couple days, but when he was on the hunt in the forests, he overheard a conversation.

"He was cute, brown eyes and he was kind to me," Smile stretched across his lips, as he recognized that voice. He wasn't considered as too attractive among his kin, but hearing this made his heart warm up.

"Blue eyes are prettier, aren't they?" a voice of another girl said. Y/N was quiet.

"Well, they just are. Brown eyes aren't that pretty," the girl said.

"Don't you think so?" She turned to Y/N.

"W-well, um, depends on a person, I think?" The other girl got up.

"They are prettier." Kili could clearly see how Y/N looked down, and she seemed to feel sad.

He walked away, with thoughts of Y/N in his head, when he suddenly overheard some voices in the distance.

"Do you think we will find the pig today?"

"Probably. Her and her ugly drawings."

"It's not just her drawings who is ugly," the boys laughed.

"Do you remember her? 'Don't do that,' and then she went and started swearing back at us,"

"We are going to get her back, don't worry. She's slow runner, what about if we would take her things and made her run around? She would lose some weight at least."

"Great idea," other boys said. Kili felt his blood boiling.

How dare they to talk about her this way?

As the boys walked along, Kili prepared to scare them a little, but then he overheard another things.

"The guy who protected her, he has horrible taste in girls."

"Yeah, what a jerk. And those eyes the small fat pig made on him," one of them widely opened his eyes and wildly started blinking. The other boys were laughing.

Kili gripped his bow. He didn't knew the girl too much, but nobody deserved to be treated this way.

His arrows found their target quickly. The boys stopped, and looked around. Kili noticed they were really afraid, and smirked to himself.

When he came back home with two rabbits, he decided to go look around again. The sun was still not setting, so he still had some time.

His thoughts took him far away, and he didn't noticed he stepped on something, that felt like a pencil. He looked down, and realized it was a few pencils, hidden in grass, and when he looked around, he noticed sketchbook, hidden in old willow. If he wouldn't know what to look for, or didn't had as swift eyes, he wouldn't ever notice it.

He took the sketchbook out. It was familiar, and though he felt a little guilty, his curiousity was stronger.

He noticed a few sketches of trees, flowers and attempts of drawing people. They all were made with precision. They were not as realistic, but that certainly didn't mean they were not nice. It was drawn by someone, who was still learning, but truly excited about it.

Kili put it back carefully, and got back home.

It's been a few weeks, when he met the girl again. He came home with Fili from sword training, and his eyes widened when he noticed Dis with Y/N, chatting in the kitchen.

"Hi," she greeted them shyly.

"We have first strawberries, so I thought I would bring some for you," she shyly looked at Kili.

"Stop it," you muttered. Kili rose his brow.

"Oh, what is it?" He looked her into face, and noticed her shy smile, while he was grinning.

"You made me obsessed with these strawberry cakes your grandma bakes, can I have another one?" He made puppy eyes. Y/N sighed.

"Fine. But don't distract me, okay?" Y/N handed him the sweet pastry, and Kili winked at her.

"You're the best," He kissed her cheek quicker, than he thought of it. They both deeply blushed.

"Um, thank you, I suppose," Y/N muttered, and looked back into her sketchbook.

Meantime, when Kili chewed on his cake, Fili came back from his and Kili's room, and started reading a book. He started laughing, and Kili quickly took a look what was his brother laughing about.

"C'me read this, Y/N, this is so funny!" He said, but his smile froze, as he noticed her ashamed expression.

"What happened, Bunnie?" He used the nickname he gave her, because she loved bunnies. Y/N sighed.

"Well, um...it's embarrassing," she whispered.

"Neither of us will laugh at you, I promise," Fili said, and the girl looked at both of them. She took a deep breath.

"Icannotread," she muttered, and quickly looked away.

"You can't...read?" Y/N nodded shamefuly.

"It's, um...the school is too far for me to go alone there, so, um...yeah." The brothers shared a look, which Y/N took in different meaning. She felt tears in her eyes, but Fili was quick enough to notice.

"No, we won't laugh at you, Y/N!" He said and pulled the girl into a bear hug. Kili quickly joined.

"Yeah, Bunnie, don't worry. We would never laugh at you," Y/N relaxed in the hug.

"Thank you," she muttered, and hugged them back.

They spend rest of the day by teaching her how to read, and write. Soon after, Y/N started studying with the brothers.

"You are distracting me," Y/N muttered, as Kili was kicking his legs back and forth. It was summer - over four months after they met. Y/N sat up on the tree, and Kili was sitting down on branch a little lower.

"How can be that possible?" He looked at her innocently. Y/N blushed, when she seen his big brown eyes in sunlight. They were in shades of melted gold and caramel.

"The tree is shaking, and I want to enjoy reading this book without distractions."

"I'm not a distraction!" Kili pouted.

"You are," Y/N offered him a smile, and got back to her book. Kili pouted a little more.

"Will you read it to me, then?" Y/N looked at him, and dramatically sighed.

"Fine. But let's sit down on the ground," Kili got down, and then he carefully placed his hands around her waist, Y/N placed her hands on his shoulders for support, and he put her down.

Y/N sat down, her back leaning against the tree, and Kili placed his head on her lap. Y/N smoothed her skirt and placed her book next to her, so she could read it, while playing with Kili's hair.

Y/N was the only one allowed to touch Kili's hair, aside from Kili's family. She never understood why dwarves were such touchy about their hair, but again, she was the same way, so she fully respected it.

Kili fell asleep after a while, on the sound of her voice.

"You the last cake I said was mine!" Y/N growled out and Kili laughed, but he quickly stopped laughing.

After the months of spending time together, running around the fields and archery lessons, she got much stronger, so her punches had strength and would hurt. Kili and Fili would never hit or fight with a girl, and though Y/N became like another part of the family, only tickle fights were allowed with her.

"You-you Kili!" Y/N was more upset than angry, and Kili started laughing again, as he was jumping around and trying to get away from her punches.

"Stop, Bunnie," and tickled her.

"N-NO-T T-HAT P-PLAC-E, K-KI-LI!" Kili grinned.

"Awn, who is ticklish?"

"I ha-te you!" Y/N slid her hand across the back of his neck, and Kili let out a squeal.

"N-NOO!" You giggled as you started tickling him.

"Gotcha," You sticked out your tongue on him, and quickly runned away to hide, before he would get you back.

You runned, but didn't noticed when you bumped into someone.

"Aah, long time no see," a voice said, and you shivered.

"You squeled on us, huh? Is that everything you can do? You loser," the boy said. Y/N kept quiet, with her head down.

"Oh, look guys, she's going to cry! What are you gonna do? Run to your mommy, or your friends? Go on, you tettle-tale." Elle felt tears in her eyes, and quickly looked up.

"I'm not a tettle-tell, I-"

"That's what you say, and then you will go and tell your mommy about 'the big boys are bullying you'," they laughed. Elle wished she could hide somewhere, and try to cry. She wasn't able to cry, even when she was alone, as she learned to hide her tears.

Whoosh

And then a yelp from the boys.

Y/N looked up and noticed the arrow in one of the surrounding trees. It was Kili's arrow.

"You told someone to spy?! You will pay for this later," one of the boys said, and then another two arrows pierced through the air. The boys quickly walked away, leaving her alone.

Kili runned out from behind the trees, and pulled her close to his chest. He started saying something angrily in Khuzdul, and Y/N was sure those were swear words.

"Shh, it's okay, I'm here," Kili whispered, when he finished his quick session of swear words. Y/N shook in his embrace.

"Let's go home," he said. They picked up his arrows, and went home.

Kili made Y/N tea and gave her his favourite sweater, which also happened to be her favourite as well.

When Y/N went to sleep, Kili checked her every few minutes. He felt guilty. He should've protected her better, stay with her.

He carefully sat to the edge of the bed, and slid his thumb softly over her cheek.

"I will make sure they get what they deserve," he muttered and softly caressed her cheek.

"Sure, I will go with Bella and Alia, you don't need to worry about me, I will be safe," Elle gave Kili a smile. Her two friends from her neighbourhood, with who she enjoyed to spend time too.

"I just don't want you to get hurt," he shrugged, and sharpened his dagger. Y/N started on brushing her hair.

"The boys won't do anything, if they meet us in a group. Plus Fili gave me that sharp dagger for my fourteenth birthday, I always keep in my shoe."

Kili looked at his friend, focused on brushing out the knots in her hair. Y/N grew up and changed the way she reacted to what other people told her. But that wasn't just what changed.

She grew up into a young woman. She was beautiful, and some girls were jealous of her because of it, but luckily, Y/N had great friends.

"You home, sleeping beauty?"

"Oh, of course I am!" Kili grinned as he heard Bella's voice.

"No, you are snoring beauty."

"That's Fili!"

"That's both of you," Y/N rolled her eyes, but chuckled. She and Kili said their goodbyes to each other, and her friends she knew for three and two years, turned to her.

"So, how was your date?" Y/N blushed.

"He gave me flowers for my birthday, so what? That's what friends do." Y/N turned to Alia to change the topic.

"How about you and girls?" The blonde rolled her eyes.

"Some of them are arrogant, but other than that it's good. But I have you, so I don't care," she grinned and hugged her friends around their shoulders.

"So, what do you-" Bella started, when a group of boys passed them. They whistled, and started talking about them. Y/N's cheeks blushed, as she overheard them.

"Don't listen to those idiots, they still share one brain cell," Bella and Y/N said at once, and they all laughed, though Y/N didn't felt any happiness. Her instinct to run and hide from these boys was still there.

And then we arrived to the market. I still looked around if they were not there, but luckily not, Y/N wrote down the sentence, and put the notebook aside. She felt happy they didn't recognized her, but it still stressed her out. She looked over to the bow and quier with arrows Kili gifted her, when she had thirteenth birthday.

"Trouble with sleeping?" Kili's raspy voice appeared behind her.

"Yeah," Y/N sighed out, and pat on the bed next to her.

"C'me here, snoring beauty," Kili chuckled at that nickname.

"Ugh, again?" You nodded with a grin.

As you laid in safety of Kili's arms (and him being soundly asleep), your mind turned into a specific direction. Would Kili like you? Not just as a friend, but...more?

You'd fall asleep like this, if you had bad dreams. Kili fell asleep first, and softly snored, but he looked cute while doing so. You shook your head, and decided to listen to his breath, and soon, you fell asleep yourself.

The memories of the times you used to be bullied by those boys came back. You didn't felt confident at all, and mostly sad. You couldn't fall asleep at night, and you often found yourself looking over your body. Fat pig, that's how they called her. Was she still...like this? Would she ever be pretty enough?

It's been a while, since she cried before sleep, and then fell asleep afterwards.

The brothers noticed something was going on, when their friend seemed to be bothered by something. So, they decided to do thing they always did, which was making flowercrowns together.

"You're messing it up, Fili," you giggled, when the blonde prince's flowercrown fell apart.

For fifth time in twenty minutes.

"Well, I'll go get some fresh flowers, over here," he pointed to the carpet of daisies in the golden light of setting sun.

"Guess who," Said smooth voice next to your ear, when his hands covered your face.

"Hmm, is that you, Ki?"

"Who else."

Kili sat in front of you, and placed a flowercrown on your head. You both stood up, and he twirled you around.

"I've got you something else," he whispered.

"Flowers," you looked happily over the small fresh bouquet of wild flowers, and felt warmth spreading in you. You looked into his chocolate eyes.

"Kili, thank you so much, it's...it's beautiful,"

"Not nearly as beautiful as you," he looked deeply into your eyes.

"Flowers for a girl," he said, with a slightly pink-tinted cheeks.

"Now finally braid her hair," the lion prince's voice interrupted the romantic scene.

#kili #the hobbit #fili #kili x reader #fili x reader #fanfiction #the hobbit fanfiction #x reader #reader insert

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ackermanshoe · 3 years

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March comes in like a lion, it's Portrayal of toxic & healthy relationship and how to compares rivamika + Ereh

Que the longest title everr 😌✨

So before I start on the actual analysis, I recently started watching March comes in like a lion instead of doing my assignments and I half way through season 2. For those of you who haven't watched it, it might be a spoilers so beware of that.

In this analysis I'll be comparing the similarities I found between Rei, Hina and Kyoko.

So watching any anime after being do emotionally attached to rivamika it's only natural that I compare them to the characters with even the tiniest bit similarities in their dynamic but Rei and hina's relationship jump in episode 4 of season 2 really caught me off guard and I was like omg?? Rivamika?? How do I make this about them 😩

Anyway so a little background on Rei's relationship with both girls Kyoko and Hina ( Hinata ). Firstly, i subconsciously placed Rei has Mikasa, kyoko has Eren and Hina as Levi, why? You will know on a minute. Rei is a depressed kid who has known only one way of life and that's through shogi games and after his parents death ( cough cough ) he was taken in by a old friend ( I think ) of his dad's who was also obsessed with shogi. Kyoko is the biological daughter of this man who has "adopted" Rei and later on Rei was came to know Hina and her sisters, they were super supportive of him from the start and having lost family members themselves they related to him on a personal level.

So you see why Eren and mikasa's dynamic matches with Rei and Kyoko and not only as "step siblings" it's also the fact that Rei became somewhat obsessed with her through the time he had spent over at their house, it's toxic and it's been showcased that way ever since kyoko was introduced into the series. Rei thought of her when he heard the word "love" and he even admitted to the fact that having her around is toxic and yet he can't push her away. He said he does not want to stop hearing her voice even tho she , herself is in love with a much older man who is married. Everytime she showed up to his bedroom uninvited and slept next to him my mind went "he is in love with her and their relationship is so toxic why does the author keep bringing her into his life?" Or "girl get the fuck away from him".

Without even thinking too much deep into their physical connection I already knew I would be able to related this dynamic to Eren and Mikasa. Although this series gives us much more depth into the main characters views since it's narrated from his own perspective, and the fact that he metaphorically compared his feelings of being lost and sadness helps me as an audience to understand what's happening much much easier than attack on titan. I personally feel like this kind of series are usually short ( idk how long this is) because it feels like the author knows exactly what he is going for, everything is set in stone.

Going back to Rei's ( mikasa's) relationship with kyoko ( Eren ) it's much much clear how toxic it had become for him in more than just one way. And the show isn't denying Rei of his feelings towards Kyoko and it's not even attempting to distant him from her and yet you just knew there had to be someone better right? That's when they introduced Hina and Kyoko in the same episode, meeting each other and a sense of invisible rivalry gushed over them, especially Hina. She is a happy go lucky girl and extremely sensitive to things to the point it kinda annoys me everytime she bursts out crying ( but hey you can't hate a genuinely good character ).

That's where things get interesting for me maybe because I am on that Levi X Mikasa agenda all the time but just like rivamika their relationship has been portrayed as platonic for the longest time in the seaosns. If I didn't go out of way to search up who Rei falls in love with and it didn't say hina's name I probably wouldn't be making this comparison right now because who wants to have their heart broken for the 2nd time in the same fucking month 🙄.

Anyway so in this one episode Hina comes home crying because of bullying issue at school and as she runs off into the dark streets Rei chases her and eventually catching up to her takes her hand and being able to relate to her problems, comparing his younger self to her present Rei reaches out his hand and God fucking damn it he says "you saved my life..I promise I'll stay with you" ofc I'm making this post now you know the real reason 🤡.

The unseen build up that happen between them reminds me of rivamika, the Portrayal of healthy relationship is rivamika. Hina (in our case Levi ) to Rei is the voice of emotion, she speaks out the feelings that Rei has been surpassing all these years inside of him. Just like how we talked about Levi is the voice of reason, while Mikasa has the impulsive urge to act up. Just like how Levi became the perosn who reasonably always took mikasa's side, he gave her personal reasons to take Erens side everytime have an actual meaning towards the scouts / everyone , he then became someone Mikasa was able to object & voice out her opinion towards because she knew that he would response and guide her the right way and finally he became someone she was able to fully trust.

Much like Hina and Rei, when Hina cried out her heart and Rei couldn't help but go back to his past self and imagine Hina coming to him and giving him a hand, being his saviour. It's much like how Levi saw his past self in Mikasa present ( S1 ), Levi gave Mikasa the hand she needed when she didn't know she needed.

Hina despite being much younger than him, was able to make him realise that he too was shutting out his emotions and was able to let himself be free through Hina when she cried, expressing her frustrations and very human like emotions. In the forest of the giant trees when Mikasa and Levi saved Eren for the first time he told her " we got your precious friend, didn't we?" A slight wake up call he had given her for the very first time, an attack on Mikasa's ego and evoking a different emotions within her. Like telling her it's not only about Eren and getting revenge, risking your life so easily, Levi had lost his entire squad in order to protect Eren so now that he is safe they better leave now.

So the question is did Levi and Mikasa save each other?

What can I say that I haven't said already in here about these two?

"you saved my life" Rei says to Hina as he reached out her hand and the beauty of that scene was the fact that it was delicate and soft despite it not being anything romantic. Remind me of that panel of Mikasa touching Levi's shoulder. How ironic is the fact that I'm comparing Hina, a openly emotional character to Levi who is said to be the most emotional inside?

Levi physically saved Mikasa a lot of the time however emotionally Levi saved Mikasa from being selfish and from herself. What if I said and ignoring 139, that Levi was one of of the biggest reasons Mikasa took the initiative and decapitated Eren that day?

Wait why does it feel like I already said it before lol

Through Levi, Mikasa learnt to trust more, learnt that even though they gave difference not only in height, age and in how they treat Eren ( Levi with force and Mikasa with care ), Mikasa still came in terms with Levi and relied on him, shared her burden with him. I think that's the biggest character twist Mikasa had, the fact that she was ready to draw sword at anyone who treated Eren wrong and everyone was scared of her and then came the grumpy shorty who beat her beloved brother right in front of her but eventually he became the biggest form of support she had in the end. I just can not help but laugh at all the unseen development this ship has had and all the implication of Futher interaction after season 3 between them, it's really obvious they had something going on because imagine you don't talk to someone for like 3 years and suddenly when you engage in battle against , paired up with them suddenly you become the strongest duo known to humanity. +?)!#)# make it make sense.

Sooo now you see the that having toxic relationship with a partner is only natural and inevitable but growing from that, opening your eyes to those who actually care there for you is rather healthy. So moral of the story is guys make sure stick with those who tells you to stay with them, the end.

Omg guys this turned out so much longer than I intended, anyway hopefully y'all liked it. I know it's not the strongest comparison or analysis but I feel like I'm running out of words for what I want to say about rivamika it feels like I'm recycling my sentences from previous analysis over and over again because ✨ lack of content ✨ and my inability to think of something new.

Please ignore all my spelling mistakes I have decided to embrace my mistakes instead of fixing them simply because I'm too lazy 😉

💜💜💜

#rivamika #rivamikacanon #levimika #rivamika analysis #BurnTheScarfMikasa

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sprawa-przybyszewskiej · 3 years

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I would like to present (extremely briefly; it's more of an invitation to their thoughts rather than anything else) two approaches that touch on a creative technique used by Przybyszewska, which has been spotted by some of her scholars, albeit each in its own way. Ewa Graczyk maintains that Przybyszewska did not write a historical drama in any way, but rather described a completely different reality, an universum in which the same events happen, but which doesn't take place on Earth, with us in it. She describes, then, something which I call The French Revolution', taking after mathematics' nomenclature. Kazimiera Ingdahl, on the other hand, spots traces of gnostic and manichean ideologies in Przybyszewska's writing, which, as we all know, are based solidly on the contrast between Heaven and Hell, knowledge and numbness, soul and mind. I mention them here solely to point out there is a dualism in her works, it is important and easily recognizable.

I have nowhere near the amount of erudition these scholars do, so I will constrict myself to some more visible matters. In my previous post about Antoine, I've made a remark that stuck with me for far longer than I had expected, and so I decided to elaborate on it.

The passage I'm talking about is this: because it could potentially reveal Saint-Just as another Danton-like minded individual, looking for power for himself through sacrifices of others. I want to explore whether Przybyszewska really did construct both of them alike?

To me it appears very probable, as crazy as it sounds. First of all, ALL of the personages are created in some reference to Robespierre. He is the only singular, original mind amongst them all, not to mentoin an axis around which other revolve, and so all of them, whether we like it or not, are somewhat similar to each other. Second of all, she clearly went in the direction of mirroring certain scenes, ideas, expressions (which I personally love to track down and compare them later), and it's exactly the same when talking about certain individuals. The two pairs (Robespierre – Saint-Just and Danton – Desmoulins) come to mind right away. They are constructed as parallels at least in some aspects and at least to some extent.

Wouldn't that, however, put Saint-Just and Desmoulins on the same/similar level, aren't they the ones who creat a parallel pair? Well, yes and no. I think they are a unit when it comes to personal matters, for rather obvious reasons. But I also think they are both put in similar situations, and yet their thinking is polar opposite of each other. They are both allowed to Robespierre's most personal sphere, and yet their reactions are completely different, which is one among the reasons as to why one of them meets a sad end by all accounts, and the other can die somewhat happy (as I will always mantain: if Przybyszewska managed to finish Thermidor, I am one hundred percent sure she would depict Antoine as one dying boldly and proudly, if only beause he died for a great cause and alongside Robespierre). On the other hand, spiritually and mentally, Camille resembles Maxime way, way more than Danton. They are both... maybe not exactly soft, but emotional. The main difference between them is Maxime is able to rein his feelings in when necessary (again, not always, not completely; vide his late night visit at Desmoulins', vide his attempt and saving him from the Luxembourg Palace), but as far as differences go, this one is actually minor. They are put in different positions, but their reactions are similar.

I would also wager to say Saint-Just and Robespierre don't have that much in common with each other in the plays, leaving out their political stances and their relationship. They are very different in terms of character traits: Maxime is more forgiving, calmer, quieter in all aspects. Antoine is more of a quicksilver, and also is regarded more as a tool in Maxime's hands, which I mean in the best way possible. While he has his own opinions, sometimes quite different to that of Robespierre's, he only entertains them in Maxime's presence, so that no one can put a splinter between them and turn them against each other. When they are turned against each other (during their quarrels, yes, but also during Thermidor, which is a beautiful study of such a case), he defers to Maximilien humbly and holds no grudges against him. This is pretty much the only soft side he ever presents to the audience, for when facing any other characters, he is sarcastic if not downright hostile, the only exception I can think of being Eleonore. He's not gentle, not even with Robespierre whom he respects so much. (I cannot get over how badly Wajda interpreted this in his movie, where in his very first scene Antoine brings Maxime an apple-tree branch in full blossom; while a sweet gesture, it made little sense, for the director not only didn't establish their special bond in any way, cutting their very important scene in Act II and a lot of their exchange of words in Act V out, but completely ignored the fact that in the play they did talk about trees blossming, but it was Maxime who pointed this out to Antoine. Honestly, it would make much more sense if in the movie he was the one giving Antoine flowers; altough I don't trust it would be executed well, so perhaps the best scenario would be to drop it altogether.)

This leaves Antoine and Danton as the unlikely pair. Here I wouldn't necessarily say they are put in different positions (following my train of comparison), because – depending on if you believe the confrontation between Danton and Robespierre to be honest or not – there is enough evidence in the play to mantain both of them want to establish power over nation through Robespierre. Danton is the villain of the play, but he isn't blind, he too wants to use Maximilien as a face of the dictature, as a tool to obtain more "normal" power for himself (normal power here would equal to money, respect, high office; the "abnormal" power is what Robespierre sort-of-dreams-of, an influence over people to direct them into doing what is necessary for the good of the whole of the nation, or better yet, the world). And Antoine wants more or less the same thing, the exception being he doesn't care at all for personal gains. He doesn't necessarily believe in Robespierre's visions of the future, one could even argue he doesn't understand them (this is clearly shown in Thermidor, where he reacts with a headache once Robespierre unfolds his plan in front of him: Stop it, Maxime. I can't keep up with you anymore.); he does, however, see the neccesity of establishing the dictature or some other extraordinary mean to obtain the total power over the state. Both he and Danton are blessed with a far-fetching political vision, the only thing differentiating them from Robespierre is that he's a much more brilliant chess player than any of them, when they can see few moves forward, he's already seen all the possible outcomes of the match. And all of these outcomes are bad, for Maxime is characterised as a pessimist, while Antoine and Danton are, generally speaking, optimistically inclined. Youthful foolishness indeed, except Antoine is not foolish! He's just optimistic. In Danton, the optimism takes a form of boldness and bravado, in Saint-Just it manifests as an unwavering faith in the one he considers to be so much more superior to himself, and also a certain amount of contempt for the ones he considers to be inferior. This is another trait he shares with Danton, and we have to admit, Przybyszewska did a really good job at presenting the same trait in them both in such different ways, that we like one, hate the other.

There is also the matter of how they treat Camille and what they think of him. Here, both are jealous, I think. Jealous of the special place Camille has in Robespierre's heart, scornful of his abilities as a politician and a journalist, disinclined to him as a person. Danton cares for him as far as his utility in being a leverage on Robespierre goes, but I don't think he hoards any warm feelings for him personally, and I don't say it only because he was willing to sacrifice Camille purely out of spite. A much better example to show what I mean is that Danton seems to have a much better functioning, more honest and professional relationship with Delacroix than with Camille, whom he keeps in the dark about absolutely everything from start to finish. I don't know if it was meant to be a symbol or not, but in their very last scene in the jail cell, Camille has to beg Danton not to snuff out the candle, which Danton does, albeit very reluctantly. In turn, Saint-Just talks about Camille in language dripping with contempt and jealousy of purely personal kind, offending him left and right, right to Robespierre's face – not to hurt Maxime, but to "open his eyes", so to speak. In one particularly harsh sentence he compares Camille to a dog, a child and a prostitue all in one breath. He not only doesn't regard him as an opponent, but barely recognizes him as a human being worth respect, in which he is sadly very similar to Danton.

Weirdly enough, they both regard Maximilien as human, which I think is interesting to notice. It would be really easy to write them in such a style that leaves way for them to see Robespierre as something more, something almost extraterrestrial, somebody who posseses abilites greater than normal humans do. And yet:

The first image is from The Last Nights of Ventose, my own translation, and it's directly from Antoine's compassionate speech. I didn't include Robespierre's response, because he just deflected, but deflection does mean he doesn't fully agree, so it's yet another similarity.

One more thing that comes to mind in a comparison like this is that Danton threatens Robespierre with the ultimate power. He doesn't think that Maxime will be able to live with it, with himself, if he ever decides to go this one step futher and become a dictator. Is this is because he wouldn't be able to live with himself, or does he truly underestimate Maxime, or he simply wants to make sure Maxime would not go in this direction precisley because he knows he would then be ustoppable? How very telling then, that in Antoine's mouth the very same thing is not a threat, but a promise! This ultimate power is born out of necessity, and it's a grace for the whole nation, because no other person could bear the weight of this "crown", but Maxime.

The main difference between Saint-Just and Danton, I think, is something which we have to believe, it's not written clearly anywhere, and this is also the thing I briefly touched uppon in the aforementioned post: we have to believe that Antoine has pure intentions, because we sure know Danton does not. These were the embers fueling the suspiscion in Maxime when he couldn't understand why Antoine would possibly push for the dictature so much – is his heart pure? This sounds overly dramatic, perhaps, but I think this dramaticism aligns perfectly with Maxime's overall characterisation. I think all readers believe in his good intentions, and the parallels constructing the characters help immensely in this judgement, for if Danton is rotten to the core, Antoine is as steady and pure as a marble column. Robespierre even calls one a pig, while the other deserves to be named an Apostle of liberty.

There is, however, another similarity between them, too. Both Antoine and Danton are willing to be dishonest in order to achieve their goals. This is this one thing that's hard for Robespierre to swallow, for he – like Camille – values honesty really highly and if he could, he'd always act honestly. Saint-Just, not to mention Danton, has no such scrupules. He sees the greater necessity as something erasing all other circumstances, and for this greater picture he is willing to sacrifice some of his integrity as a human being. With Danton, the situation is even less complex, for I don't believe he would be sacrificing his integrity in any way – this dishonesty lays at his very core and comes natural to him.

The arguments Saint-Just presents, and which differs from Robespierre's point of view, are also different from that of Danton's. Danton's vision of the present is filled with contempt for the people, for the masses who are less brilliant than him and few others are. It is worth noting that Przybyszewska really did think like this, this is something she believed in and while reading Danton's speeches in Act II Scene 3, what we actually hear is her own train of thoughts. The only difference is that she didn't disdain the people they way he did. She thought that being a mass, an unnamed pulp of flesh is not a bad thing (it was perhaps unfortunate, and I am sure thinking she was a genius like Robespierre helped her in maintainign this view). Base material is a nourishment for those who will lead these masses. We – the lesser people – are absolutely necessary for them – the greater ones – so that they can lead us out of the night and into the new epoch of enlightement, and there is nothing humiliating in being this nourishment/tool/base. Danton understood it only partially, for he wasn't ready for the greatest sacrifice of all: to be a genius, one has to get rid of everything personal, all needs and desires must be kept aside, and never again spoken of. Robespierre understood it, and I think Antoine did too. I think the best evidence for it is that he said, that he doesn't consider himself to be Robespierre's equal. Recently I hoped to prove it was a silent declaration of love; now I want to point out it is one because it showed Robespierre that Antoine understood this great sacrifice one has to make in order to be a leader, and in his own way, he has already done this. He has brushed aside personal vain and glory, his amour-propre, he degraded himself in order to magnify Maxime's importance. Danton may say: It's you whom I adore, but it is Antoine who shows it through his actions as well as his words.

#do you think they are constructed as parallels or am i delirious?#sprawa dantona #the danton case #L'Affaire Danton #Stanisława Przybyszewska #stanislawa przybyszewska #Maximilien Robespierre #maksymilian robespierre #antoine saint just #Antoni saint just #georges danton #jerzy danton #frev #french revolution #literary analysis

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chicksung · 4 years

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stray kids reaction to their (idol) s/o being made fun of by fans? if that's not against your guidelines of course!!

Stray Kids reaction to their idol s/o being made fun of by fans

A/N: Hi beauty! Of course not! This is my first time doing a reaction so please bare with me here! Thank you for the request @dreamsaboutnct

Warning/s: cyber bullying, crying, disappointed chan

Bang Chan: When he came home to find your shaking form in waves of tears, he knew something was up. He knew that you were in preparation for a comeback and he thought maybe it was the stress of it, but when you broke down futher in his arms and said that it was the fans that had you in this state, he was speechless.

To say he was disappointed was an understatement. He was baffled when he saw the tweets and comments regarding your appearance, your talent and abilities and even your relationship with Chan.

He decided to host another episode of Chan’s Room that night. As he greeted the fans, he watched the comments carefully, seeing if there was anything negative said about you.

“Now, I actually wanted to talk to you guys. I love being with Y/N. I truly do. But there are some things that need to be addressed. For as long as Y/N and I are together, I expect you guys to respect her and treat her like you would treat me. It breaks my heart to see how many negative comments my s/o has been getting and I am giving you one warning and one warning only. It has got to stop.”

He had never been so strict when talking to stays but he needed to knock some sense into this ridiculousness, but it seemed to work.

The next morning, #RespectYN was trending #1 on twitter and the negativity was outweighed by the positive. Chan smiled as you read out all the cute things fans had written.

“And if anything like this happens again, let me know. I’ll fix it.”

Lee Minho: He hates seeing you cry. In fact, he hated seeing you anything but happy. You couldn’t explain yourself through the tears so instead you showed him your twitter feed, when he read it, he was frozen. How could his own fans do this to you. Not his stay. Everyone seemed to be supportive of your relationship. This was until he saw one tweet and he felt his blood boil.

“I’m not a stay but I am a (y/n’s fandom name) and honestly? Y/N doesn’t deserve Lee Know”

“Come with me.” Minho whispered, grasping your hand tightly and leading you elsewhere.

Sometimes, you really loved being in the same company as Minho. He told his manager and your manager about the whole situation and they said they would bring it up with the CEO.

Not a week later, Twitter once again say something that they knew was somewhat bad.

‘안녕하세요, JYP입니다.’

The article explained that if any further malicious comments were made about either idols, there would be serious consequences in place for the perpetrators found guilty.

Minho took out on a date that day, to clear out all the negative thoughts and feelings in your mind and heart with all the love he could possibly give to you. He really loves you.

Seo Changbin: Changbin immediately pulled you into his arms when he saw the tears on your cheeks. He didn’t need to know if it was dance practice, a conflict between you and your members, or even if it was that time of the month again. All he knew was that you were upset and he needed to fix it. He pet your hair and let you cry out your feelings until your loud sobs slowly turned into soft sniffles.

“What’s wrong, love? What’s got my baby all upset?” He asked you, pulling you away from his chest and wiping your tears away with his thumb.

“It’s the fans. They’ve been telling me that I don’t deserve you and it’s getting to a point that I’m too scared to post on Twitter and Instagram or turn on vlive. I’m so scared, Binnie.”

Changbin needed to find a way to fix this. And what better way than to write a song. He knew it would take a while and he told you to just try and hang in there.

A few weeks later, he dropped his song on SKZ-Player and the response to it was overwhelmingly good. He decided to turn on vlive and he saw a comment asking what the song is about.

“The song is from the perspective of a fan. They really love this idol to the point where they think they will eventually get married to him. However, it shows the developed hatred towards the idol’s partner when the idol announces that he’s dating. I actually wrote this song to express what could possibly be going through a lot of your heads in regards to myself and my own s/o. They haven’t been taking your...’criticism’ too well.”

When he turned of vlive, within minutes, translation of what he had said had spread like wildfire throughout different social media but people seemed to get the message.

Hwang Hyunjin: Hyunjin felt his heart break a little as he heard you blame the fans for your fragile state of mind. He almost didn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Come on babe. Let’s go and get some ice cream and come back to this with a clearer mind.” He whispered before a small peck on your cheek was delivered and he took your hand and headed out the door.

A few days went by and the messages were just getting worse. Hyunjin couldn’t ignore anymore and your state was deteriorating to the point where Hyunjin banned you of your phone and laptop. “If you keep reading them, it’s just going to put you in a worse state than you already are.” He argued.

JYP and your company both released statements concerning the mental health of both idols and if such behaviour was kept up, they would turn off the comments all together. That seemed to get the fans to see just how much their comments were hurting you and your mental state.

Hyunjin smiled when he saw the comments turning from negative to positive almost overnight.

“See? All it takes is a little shove in the right direction for people to realise what they’re doing is wrong.” He said as he cuddled you into his side.

“Ice cream to celebrate?” You asked with pleading eyes.

“Ice cream to celebrate.” He sighed.

Han Jisung: Jisung listened to you talk out your problems. He judged watched you carefully as you vented about the heated argument two of your members had engaged in and now left tension between the two, but since the announcement that you and Jisung were dating, some of the fans were not being so...kind towards you. Your normally weekly vlives slowly became fewer and farther apart as you were too scared to see the comments.

When your eyes got watery, Jisung momentarily forgot everything else in existence. He forgot about the new album Stray Kids were working on, he forgot about his ramen that he was cooking. All his mind was filled of was ways he could make you feel better.

“Wait wait. Stay here.” He said, gesturing for you to stay put before sprinting out of the room. A few moments later, he returned with a blanket and the teddy bear he was planning to give you on your birthday but decided that you needed it now more than ever.

All wrapped up in a blanket and a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in your hand plus hugs from Jisung, your tears were long dried and gone.

“I’ll speak with my managers tomorrow, but right now, let’s just cuddle for now.”

“I love you.” You mumbled, your voice still a little crackly

Jisung chuckled.

“And I love you just as much...if not more.”

Lee Felix: Felix was always good at reading people’s emotions. He was able to tell when people were angry or sad or just genuinely happy. However, it didn’t take a genius to see that you weren’t doing so crash hot.

“Sweetheart?” He called out as he patted the outline of your figure under your blanket cocoon. All he got was a sniffle in return. He sighed and collected you up in the blanket and scooping you up like a baby.

“Why are you crying, love?” He whispered into your hair as he pressed light kisses to your cheeks and forehead. You just broke down further, the only words he was able to pick up were ‘comeback’, ‘fans’ and ‘hate’.

Felix had a burning dislike for the four letter h word and didn’t really like using it unless he had really strong opinions on it.

“What about the fans, sweetheart?” He reworded his question and that just seemed to make you more upset.

“They’ve been calling me fat, ugly, useless, untalented, and even worse, that I don’t deserve to be with someone as talented and amazing as you.” You cried out, tears falling so often that your chest was constricting.

“Baby, baby, shhh. It’s okay. I’ll deal with this later. But right now, let’s focus on you.” He pressed his lips gently against yours and hugged you tightly. A small smile tugged at Felix’s lips. “Do you wanna bake some cookies with me?”

You’ve never said yes so fast in your life.

Kim Seungmin: Your usually bubbly aura and personality was nowhere to be seen or felt when Seungmin dropped by your group’s dorm on a surprise visit (and partially to congratulate all of you in your first music show win)

When he saw your slumped over figure and your phone in your hand, his first thought was maybe you were tired, but when he looked closer at you and saw the tears, he walked straight over to you and picked your phone out of your hand like a grape.

“Hey! Minnie! Give it back!” You demanded, trying so hard to wipe away your tears. Seungmin ignored your pleas and started to look at what seemed to be the reason for silent crying.

“If Y/N really thinks she can sing, she’s got another thing coming”

“If I got hit by a truck, I’d look like Y/N”

“Can’t believe some bitch named Y/N got to Seungmo before I did”

Seungmin felt his blood boil, reporting each of the tweet for hate speech and turned back to you.

“How long has this been happening?” Seungmin asked, his eyes softening as he gazed over to you, sitting next to you and grabbing your hands.

You sniffed and couldn’t even look him in his pretty eyes.

“A while now...” Your voice trailed off as a new wave of tears cleansed your eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, petting your hair and tilting your chin up to lock eyes.

“I didn’t wanna worry you.” You sobbed out. Seungmin wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you into his chest letting you cry it out.

“What worries me more is that you didn’t tell me and you didn’t tell the company either.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“How about I take you out to that barbecue place you really like? I’ll pay for it.” He offered, tracing patterns in your hands. You smiled and looked up him.

“That would be nice.”

“Go get your coat, sweetheart.”

Yang Jeongin: You were Jeongin’s first serious relationship. He was shy around you even after being together for almost a year. He finally built up the courage and told the whole world that he, I.N of Stray Kids, was dating you, the member of the hottest debut girl group.

That shit spread like wildfire. Even though the majority of your fandoms supported your relationship, more recently some fans, who seemed to be notably younger, had been sending hate, not towards Jeongin but towards you for ‘taking away their oppa away’ from them.

It was a stupid thing to get upset over but as the days went on it, it just got worse and it was starting to chip away at your emotional state.

That’s how Jeongin came to find you, curled up and alone in the middle of one of the practice rooms.

“Y/N! Oh my god, are you okay?” He bombarded you with questions and checking you over for any injuries.

“I’m fine, Innie. It’s just...” You didn’t finish your sentence and just sighed.

“Just what? Please tell me. I wanna help.” He said with his round doe eyes.

“I’m guessing you haven’t been keeping up on Twitter.” You let out a half hearted laugh, trying to put on a brave face as you wipe your nose on your sleeve.

“Is this about...” He finally got the hint when he saw your phone thrown across the room with a new crack in the screen.

“The amount of horrible words that they’ve thrown at me is starting to eat away at me. I hate it, Jeongin. I hate it!” You yelled out the last part before wailing into your hands.

Jeongin wrapped you up in his arms and rocked you back and forth. His hands rubbed soothing circles on your back and started humming in your ears. Soon, your sobs were reduced to just small sniffles and he pulled your face of the crook of his neck. His eyes held an idea.

“Follow me. I know what will cheer you up.” He said, pulling the both of you up onto your feet as he guided you through the JYP building.

He lead you up a small staircase on the top floor and swung the door open. He had taken you to the rooftop. The soft noise of traffic below paired with the bright twinkling of the stars made the scene feel like it was something out of a movie. It brought an unfamiliar sense of serenity wash over you and for the first time in about a week, you smiled.

Jeongin laid down on the floor, his head resting on his arms and gazing up at the sky. His gaze cut to you and he patted the empty spot next to him, inviting you to join him.

You watched the stars shine vibrantly above you and you sighed with content.

“Y/N. Don’t you ever forget how much I love you. No matter how bad the comments get, that won’t change how I feel about you. I’m doing a vlive tomorrow night so I’ll address it then.” He told you as you rested your head on his chest.

“Thank you, Jeongin. What would I do without you?”

“I’m not quite sure.”

“Nor am I.”

I hope this was good. I know some were longer than others but I got more inspired the more I wrote it :))

#kpop #fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #kpop fluff #kpop smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids angst #bang chan #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin

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