#those neurotypicals can be so weird sometimes!

[weirdo-and-proud]

I once overheard my friend tell her boyfriend "something something no she just gets fixated on things sometimes" about me. Like it's not normal to get obsessed with the cutest ever little fox plushie, just sitting there on the shelf?!!! How can you not though?!!

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write

I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)

I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.

1) My first draft stays between me and God

I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.

I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.

Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?

Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.

Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.

If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.

2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen

I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.

Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.

If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.

3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word

My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.

I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.

If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.

Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.

4) Write Out of Order

This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.

Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.

I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?

When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.

Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi. I have OCD (and various other mental illnesses) and have a character who has OCD. However, this character lives in a setting with aliens who are basically psychic with extra steps (they communicate via electromagnetic fields and can identify and interact with humans brain's electrical impulses.) What I'm wondering is should I make it so these aliens can like, easily distinguish some types of neurodiversity. i.e. they can easily recognize OCD character because his thought/brain patterns are more "repetitive?"

Personally I'm very torn on this. On one hand it feels validating because like a sort of "proof" that the difference is there and to ignore it is foolish. But at the same time it feels reductive to be, even indirectly, identified primarily by disability.

Possibly relevant, I don't think all neurodiversity should be easily identifiable by this species. Like I don't think autism could be identified (too much variation) but maybe something like DID could (parts of the brain field are somewhat "segregated")

Thank you for your ask! I think if the aliens have had contact with humans (or similar alien species) before, they might have some knowledge on what conditions are associated with certain thought patterns. If the aliens haven’t specifically spoken to humans on the matter they might make their own classifications which would probably look a lot different than ours (especially with how wide symptoms vary in one condition and how many symptoms overlap in so many conditions).

Your character doesn’t have to be only identified by their OCD, that may be what stands out at first to the aliens but if your character is well rounded they can be identified by their other traits. For example, when you first meet someone you might think of them as ‘the person with the interesting fashion sense,’ but as time goes on and you learn more about them you associate them with more traits.

Have a nice day!

Mod Rot

Hi!

I think that it's an interesting idea! I feel that it would make sense for an alien psychic creature to recognize that there are some "thinking patterns" that some humans sometimes have. As an example, I can see how they would pick up that certain people have a very specific Pure O pattern just from psychic-ing various people.

Depending on if/how the topic of mental health/neurodiversity exists in the alien society, they might not even necessarily consider it as such. If they don't recognize the pattern as a disorder, they might just think of it as a type of thinking that humans just have, like how they can perceive that some humans have brown hair while others are redheads (while readers would probably pick up on what is implied if they know anything about OCD). The alien aspect gives you a lot of possibilities!

As someone with OCD, I don't see it as "reducing" at all. It's true that his thoughts happen in a different manner than most peoples', but there's still content in them, right? His OCD is just affecting them, which is just how that works. The only exception here is that his OCD process itself is a part of the story - unless you decided to put his entire character's focus on how Weird and Exotic that is, you should be perfectly fine. I think it's an interesting part of worldbuilding to add!

If you are really worried about him being "identifiable" by his OCD, you can always make it so that different OCD types are seen as distinct (or, from an alien's perspective, perhaps even unrelated). For example, someone who's thought process is occupied with visual intrusive thoughts, versus one who is mainly having a specific compulsion-obsession pattern over and over, etc. - this will show OCD as the wide range that it is, and definitely not as "a label" that someone could just be instantly identified with. You can also make sure to show that every person's thought patterns are different to some degree (even if they're as neurotypical as it's humanly possible), and perhaps those with OCD's patterns are just hyperspecific enough to be recognized as more different; a "genre" of thought patterns of sorts. Because at the end of the day, they will also be people who don't have OCD who might share a few of these "OCD patterns" (and who don't fully get read as having it, maybe as adjacent at best), as well as two people who do have it and whose brain patterns don't match at any point, who still do get read as having OCD despite all that. It's a spectrum, afterall, so the brain patterns would be too!

I think that if you have OCD yourself, you can do basically anything you want with this. As I said, you have an interesting concept that you can tackle from a bunch of different angles, and I would love to see a take on it by an author with OCD! :-)

mod Sasza

[adhdanalogbrain]

so, question: adhd and dyscalculia are pretty well linked; was reading an additude mag article that about 20% of adhd folks also have dyscalculia. one of the listed things that could be dyscalculia is "difficulty reading an analog clock". does dyscalculia -- can it be a grab bag of stuff?? like I just tested into an advanced math class, but 10 years ago I got a nice analog watch to force me to learn to read it. still not very good at it. any of y'all have trouble with analog clocks?

Analog clocks are the WORST.

Yes, you're exactly right that dyscalculia is very much a grab bag of stuff. Importantly, dyscalculia =/= bad at math. I have terrible dyscalculia and I'm a successful professional statistician.

Here's a short list of the grab bag of symptoms that indicate dyscalculia [source: wikipedia]:

Difficulty reading analog clocks

Difficulty stating which of two numbers is larger

Inability to comprehend financial planning or budgeting

Difficulty with mental arithmetic

When writing, reading and recalling numbers, mistakes may occur in the areas such as: number additions, substitutions, transpositions, omissions, and reversals

Poor memory of math concepts

Ability to grasp math on a conceptual level, but an inability to put those concepts into practice

Problems with differentiating between left and right

Difficulty with time, directions, recalling schedules, sequences of events, keeping track of time, frequently late or early

Difficulty reading maps

Difficulty working backwards in time (e.g. What time to leave if needing to be somewhere at 'X' time)

Difficulty reading musical notation

Difficulty with choreographed dance steps

People with dyscalculia aren't necessarily bad at math. My personal take is that it's more that we have trouble perceiving time the way neurotypicals do. And that gives us trouble with sequencing, i.e. what comes before or after something else. This can affect us in weird ways, that can seem really uneven or unexpected.

As a statistician, I don't do math by hand; I write computer code to do the math for me. I've managed to figure out a lot of workarounds for when my dyscalculia interferes with my work. Instead of looking at two numbers and trying to figure out in my brain which one is bigger, I write code that will flag the bigger number for me. I also write code that will do any arithmetic I need done automatically (because hey, even neurotypicals mess up manual steps sometimes too).

In general, I've stopped trying to force myself to be not bad at sequencing, and instead just accept that it's a part of my life that I need to be cognizant of. When I look up directions on G maps, I use the "arrive by time" feature that will tell me when I need to leave the house in order to arrive on time. I stopped trying to force myself to read analog clocks, and just switched everything to digital. Etc etc.

tl;dr - yes dyscalculia is a common thing. It doesn't involve your ability to math so much as your ability to comprehend time. As such, it can feel like a random grab-bag of symptoms, and the analog clock thing is definitely one of those.

[olderthannetfic]

u have a no nonsense perspective i appriciate. am i being overly sensitive if i'm kinda triggered by those adhd comics where the protagonist gets diagnosed/accepts themselves and says something along the lines of "i get to forgive myself?!"? because my brain automatically injects "unlike those other people who don't have a reason to fail and cant/shouldnt forgive themselves". im neurotypical so im not the target audience but my friends keep putting that stuff on my dash and idk how to deal

--

A lot of "my minority is so great" art is kind of implicitly saying so at the expense of others. Dwelling on it is oversensitive, but I think you're right that there's a bit of weird subtext sometimes. (My personal most hated flavor on tumblr is Smug Asexuality Comics, but there are many versions.)

Lots of people can run into Executive Function, What Executive Function? problems, both from other neurodivergence and from things like situational depression, anxiety directly caused by stress, etc. If life throws a lot at you at once, you won't necessarily escape all these symptoms just because you don't happen to have a specific diagnosis of neurodivergence or chronic mental illness.

A lot of shit overlaps and so do a lot of coping mechanisms that can handle it. The named problems are just a specific constellation of symptoms that are particularly long-term, particularly intense, and that don't relate as much to changes in environment. So perhaps some people deserve extra help coping and extra understanding, but the building blocks of all these problems are things that everybody could use a helping hand with.

I doubt most of these comics are trying to say "nobody else deserves nice things", but one does sometimes come away with that impression.

What you should do next depends on whether your problem is that your friends are posting things you find annoying or whether you feel like you are not allowed leeway and forgiveness (by your own brain, by your friends, by your family).

One of these should be ignored. The other...

[docholligay]

Going through someone's blog and seeing two posts, like...4 days apart ? Of:

Post a: neurotypical people don't understand how much of a struggle it is to listen to them talk about stuff I don't care about :( I wish it was socially acceptable to tell them I'm not interested, ever.

Post b: honestly hurts so much when you can tell someone doesn't care about your special interest. :(

I just want to cup your face and go, "please reread those and let's talk about social kindness"

I did block them, I think I am reaching a friggin... point break over here. I have been weird all my life, I was an EXTREMELY lonely child, and if someone wanted to tell me about their pet lizard I would have died happy, and if they had listened to me talk about the time Kate Harony burned down a barn to get doc out of prison, my tiny child heart would have burst. Like, that's give and take.

I've been trying to express this deep deep SCRATCH of irritation for weeks now, and I think a closer step to it, is... neurotypical, if we believe anyone is, people, also have feelings and needs and preferences. They ALSO get to decide what they can and can't live with.

I have a pretty classic and overwhelming strain of ADHD. Though, I feel less and less like saying the word for it matters, and get closer and closer to identifying as Fucking Weird. My mother is broadly neurotypical. She gets to have her feelings be hurt if I don't want to hear about her and her boyfriend's day at Costco. That's what she did with her day. She wants to tell me. I owe her that if I want to talk about my run, for example. I listen to jetty talk about coding even though I legitimately don't understand. I try and follow along!

I get tired of the idea that you don't ever have to put effort into relationships, and if you do, they aren't good relationships. And this attendant idea that being nice is masking behavior when it's you, but it's just kindness when it's other people doing it.

If it is true that you don't owe anyone anything, then the reverse is also true. No one owes you anything. This is not how I want to live.

There are things I do that are basically harmless: I have a lot of trouble sitting still, I'm twitchy and startle easily, and a million other small things that as it turns out I'm actually not going to mention because I don't like attention being drawn to them and i hate it when people notice, and I know they do.

None of those things really affect other people.

There are also things I do that are anywhere from annoying to harmful: I forget things, I interrupt people,* I sometimes zone out and lose the thread of whatever was going on.

If I love people, and I want them to love me, I have to treat them with that love as much as is possible. If I forget something, and make someone feel rejected, that is true whether or not I can pin a diagnosis to their lives. I hate to say it, but, "treat people as you would like to be treated" is often a very good guideline. Do you want someone to listen to you talk about the video game you really love? Then you should listen to them talk about Crossfit. Or, I guess the secret third option is, maybe you don't want to be friends, but that, too, is a choice.

I've been working with my three year old on conversation, and we've come up with things you can ask people if you'd like to get to know them better. Her current favorites are "What's your favorite animal?" and "what's your favorite color of crayon?" I think these are both great topics for a three year old. I want to teach her that if she wants people to talk to her and be engaged with her, she will have to give them the same.

This is true of everyone. Everyone has feelings. Everyone has interests and thoughts and preferences. I cannot emphasize enough how important I think it is to remember that life is a chorus, and none of us are the soloist. We are here for each other. Other people are not your backing vocals.

*this is also a cultural issue, though. I don't actually experience problems with this in some circles.

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

I'm building species for my world and I want to know the difference between human races and variations vs animal breeds and variations biologically. Also, why is selective breeding humans called eugenics and gets a nasty rep, but selective breeding animals is a good thing? Is that just 'humanity' talking? Like killing animals is just nature although nasty stuff moves into cruelty, but killing humans is just straight up murder?

Wootzel: This isn’t really a worldbuilding question the way you’re asking it, it’s an ethics question. However, since it has come up a few times on this blog, we’re going to try to break it down as we’re able to and address the implications of thinking about humans using the terms in the ask. It should go without saying, if you’re thinking of a made-up species with human-level intelligence, everything said here should apply to them as well.

Discussions of eugenics, humanitarian atrocities, and racism under the cut.

People cannot be forced to reproduce or kept from reproducing by other people without ethically horrible results. Full stop. The only exceptions to this are people who do not have the cognitive ability to understand child-rearing, either because they are children themselves or because they have cognitive impairments that result in them being in another person’s custody in adulthood.

This DOES mean that people who are not fit to be parents raise children. This DOES mean that people can have children who are physically or mentally incapable of taking care of them. This DOES mean that sometimes debilitating genetic problems are passed on. There is no ideal solution to any of these problems, and there never will be.

If people can be kept from having children based on any criteria other than individual cases, there will always be opportunities for abuse, and there will always be abuse. Humanity is too complex for us to ever draw lines between those who “should” be allowed to reproduce and those who “shouldn’t,” because a line that would be beneficial in one case will be a violation in another case.

To make this clearer, I’m going to include some examples. These are not based on any individual case or person, but do reflect real-life scenarios. Reader, if you’re a member of a group that is often threatened with eugenics and might find these discussions distressing, proceed with caution or skip the next two paragraphs.

Genetic Cognitive Impairments, such as severe learning disabilities and autism, are often mentioned in conversations about eugenics. Some of these conversations can even seem well-meaning, because there are absolutely people in these diagnostic groups who would be entirely unable to parent a child. They’re still wildly unethical because these people exist on a spectrum, and there are people with every mental condition known to man who make wonderful parents. If one person’s autism diagnosis could be used as a reason that they aren’t a fit parent, then what’s to stop that precedent from threatening every other person with that diagnosis? Where does one draw the line? ADHD has some similar symptoms to autism, and in some cases it can make parenting difficult, too. So can depression or anxiety, which in most cases are not genetic. NONE of these conditions can ever be used as an indication that a person is not fit to parent. I have ADHD and know several autistic people, and most of us would not choose to trade in our weird brains for a neurotypical one, even though they can cause us difficulties. There is joy to be had in life at every difference and level of functionality, so no argument against letting children be born with these conditions holds validity, either.

There are lots of heritable conditions with primarily/only physical symptoms that might be the target of eugenics discussions as well. I don’t know enough to touch on all of these, but I can still break apart some arguments here as well. Some conditions, like Sickle Cell Disease and Cystic Fibrosis, can be debilitating and no parent could ever want their child to inherit them, but most conditions that are this severe are recessive (must be inherited from both parents) and without genetic testing (which is not even possible for all conditions due to the complexity of genetics), it’s difficult or impossible to know if a child might inherit a condition. Many other conditions, for example Diabetes and Migraines are associated with multiple genes, and most of them aren’t well-understood yet, so even the presence of a group of genes isn’t a guarantee. A possibility of passing on a genetic condition is not a good enough reason to restrict someone from having children.

End of real-world-condition examples.

The argument of “no genetic condition is bad enough to justify eugenics” is only part of the picture. Another issue is: How would this ever be enforced?

There is no form of preventing someone from reproducing that is ethical to do to a human due to our highly developed sense of self, sense of agency, and comprehension of our circumstances. 

Preventing access to reproductive partners is way too much restriction of freedom and would probably result in social needs not being met.

There is no form of temporary birth control that’s effective and safe for everyone, and there are probably some people who can’t use any form without suffering. Many of these can easily fail or be sabotaged. Forced medication is a violation of bodily autonomy, which comes with trauma, and there’s no way to force someone to use birth control without restricting basic freedom as well.

Permanent sterilization involves surgery no matter what gonads you have, and surgery is inherently risky. Forced surgery is also a massive violation of bodily autonomy, which is deeply traumatizing, and might have long-term unintended consequences on bodily health.

Legal consequences to reproducing would not change the outcome: A child was born. They would also result in children being separated from fit parents. This would probably also result in people--children and parents alike--having a lower quality of life because of legal or social consequences of existing.

If someone has a condition they don’t want to pass on, but they could have a healthy child with the help of something like IVF, they should be free to make that choice just as much as someone without any known genetic problems.

The third side to this problem is that if there’s precedent for restricting someone’s reproductive rights against their will, people in power with shitty intentions will use it against groups they don’t like and fall back on a medical excuse, even if one doesn’t exist or is invalid. This is not a hypothetical: women of minority groups have been sterilized against their will while in surgery for a condition that didn’t require them to be sterilized to survive.

The only thing that can ethically be done to prevent the passive of heritable genetic conditions is education and access to medical care. LOTS of people with genetic conditions will go to great lengths to avoid passing them to their children, and these choices should be available to everyone.

To wrap it up: Humans have a greater capacity for understanding than other animals, and we can make our own choices. Removing those choices and removing the potential for parenthood is enormously damaging to individuals, and can even result in genocide on a larger scale. There is no way to adequately draw defensible lines around the people who “shouldn’t” be allowed to reproduce, or to prevent those lines from being crossed if there were to be drawn.

Tex: This is historically a hotly-debated topic, so I’ll be adding a lot of reference links for your perusal that I recommend reading, in order to add an appropriate level of context to my answer. Very broadly speaking, eugenics involves a group of people deciding that a selection of characteristics - usually phenotypes but now the argument has begun to include genetic code - that are allowed to reproduce. This is usually enforced by killing, sterilizing, and/or maiming anyone (via bad medical practices) that does not get approval from this group of people. Who these people are matter very little, as it changes according to era and geographical region - they share the common characteristic of violent enforcement of their ideals, which often leads into things like war and the accompanying war crimes.

Animal husbandry typically does not include humans, though only by the slightest framing of definitions - we still have plenty of similar actions taken against other humans, such as human trafficking, forced births, and arranged marriages. The domestication and rearing of animals is generally used for agricultural purposes, such as meat, dairy, and egg consumption, when it does not also include textile, leather, and sundry product production.

“Killing” animals implies that an animal died for purposes other than the above listed purposes. This would include social habits such as trophy hunting, which is frequently frowned upon as the people participating in such hunting do it for obtaining social status among their peers rather than subsistence.

Predation - which often includes but does not only include animals - is when one species preys upon another species (I use “preys upon” in the literal sense, here, not the metaphorical or euphemistic). When this happens, for various reasons such as energy conservation in the predator, impatience due to hunger, and need to prevent injuries from the prey fighting back  - the prey is usually killed rather quickly. Predation establishes trophic levels, and the differentiation of species from autotrophs to detritivores.

Humans are omnivores of varying degrees, obtaining their nutrients from a variety of food sources. I bring this up because it impacts both reproductive habits within human societies and the development of food resources by community. As the following links will inform you, there is a gradual, shifting line between the definitions of “who” and “what”.

Across many, many different cultures and across many, many different eras there has been debate upon what is human, and therefore, who is human.

Is a human merely that which is part of the community? If so, is a pet dog human? If not, why so? What lines are being drawn? A pet dog would, in some parts of the world, not be considered a source of food - some places have both considerations in hand, where the animal we know of as a dog can be both a pet residing in a household as well as a component in a dish. The same goes for cats, birds, horses, and any other animal - or non-animal - one could conceive of rearing and caring for within the boundaries of one’s home. Is a human who is not a member of your household - and thus, your community - a person? There are varying degrees in nearly every part of the world that changes whether one answers “yes” or “no”. In which case, if you define a human not part of your community as a “who” rather than a “what”, even if another community holds this same human as a “what” rather than a “who” - who is correct? Who is more correct? On what grounds can these opinions be enforced?

By that same metric, if another community considers you a “what”, does that mean you cannot be referred to as a “who”? On what basis is this defined, and “who” gets to enforce these definitions?

If someone is a “who”, can their reproductive habits be dictated by another? If something is a “what”, can their reproductive habits be likewise dictated? Can a human be treated like an animal? Can an animal be treated like a human? To further articulate, which of these is a person? Can a person only be a human? Can an animal - or other species - be considered a person? What is the definition of personhood? What is the definition of humanity? Who gets to decide that? What gets to decide that?

Further Reading

OpenStax Introduction to Philosophy

OpenStax Introduction to Anthropology

OpenStax Introduction to Sociology

OpenStax Concepts of Biology

Charles Darwin’s On the Origin of Species By Means of Natural Selection

Wikipedia Deductive reasoning

Wikipedia Abductive reasoning

Wikipedia Inductive reasoning

Wikipedia Existentialism

Wikipedia Philosophy

Wikipedia Infinite regress

Wikipedia Value theory

Wikipedia Outline of philosophy

Wikipedia Problem of universals

Wikipedia Subject and object (philosophy)

Wikipedia Selective breeding

Wikipedia Animal husbandry

Wikipedia Culling

Wikipedia Eugenics

Animal Cognition (tw: contains images of spiders on home page)

 Addy: Tex and Wootzel put in some absolutely fantastic stuff, so I'm just going to share a bit on why I think we generally differentiate between humans and animals when it comes to genetic lines… and animals as working animals (plowing, herding, meat, livestock guardians, etc) vs animals for aesthetics (pugs, Scottish fold, pets).

Golden retrievers were bred for a strong retrieving instinct and for soft mouths, that they'd cause less damage to waterfowl carcasses. Collies have generally been bred for intelligence and herding instincts, for obvious reasons. Draft horses are bred to pull loads. In a working animal, you don't get the severe health issues you get in aesthetic animals. They're bred to do a job, and if they're sick or ill, they can't do that job very well.

I think there's something about being responsible and something about being careless with genetic lineages in animals. We have a degree of control over these things (re: domesticated animals that are born for the purpose of human use), like it or not. It's what we do with it that matters.

Many animals will happily commit incest. Dogs from the same litter, for example, will happily mate with each other. Do you stop it (either by separating the animals or by neutering/spaying), or do you stand by and let it happen? Animals, just like humans, carry recessive genes that can cause health issues. Responsible breeders keep all sorts of records to keep genetic issues out of their lines. Irresponsible breeders don't care.

Think about the practice of fixing (neutering/spaying) animals in general - it's common practice to get an animal fixed once they're old enough, to keep them from reproducing. These animals don't live in a wild environment, where their populations are kept in check by other factors. We domesticated them, and they live in our spaces. If we let them breed willy-nilly, their populations will grow out of control and ruin/imbalance local ecosystems. They live in a human environment, and they're our responsibility.

On a tangent, mules used to be a whole industry

When it comes to making decisions re: the reproductive habits of other humans, the power imbalance of domestication isn't present. Other humans (and their reproductive habits) are not my responsibility. It's their business. 

You do get some laws in some places about letting first cousins marry, but – on the whole – if someone with a genetic issue thinks about having children, I am not part of that discussion. That person is allowed to make their own decisions about what to do with their genetics. Since their genetic code is theirs, having an outsider mess with that (eugenics) is seen as a human rights issue. It takes the autonomy of that choice away from them.

Also…. The other side of selective breeding isn't just culling, it's breeding. With animals, that generally isn't an issue. If it is, there are all sorts of strategies to make animals more likely to be willing to do to the do with each other. But humans? If you have a human that doesn't want to have children, who doesn't want to reproduce, eugenics would say that that doesn't matter. That you want to push forward certain genetic lineages, even if the members of the population with those desired traits don't want to comply.

And that, for obvious reasons, causes issues.

[catchyhuh]

TOUCH O THE TISM

lupin’s brain is fucked up! let’s talk about it

and i mean TALK talk about it baby. everyone’s experience with their brain makeup shit is different, and there are many different “symptoms”/traits that tend to overlap between. are they still called mental illnesses. states of mind. conditions? awugh no that sounds even worse. WHATEVER THIS IS ME SAYING this is less about the medical diagnoses, this is just the manifestations of SOME type of neurodivergency that shine through in their weirdo behaviors, habits, and mindscapes. now let’s really go here:

lupin: 

we have discussed before his uncanny ability to shut down literally everything to hyperfixate on one task. sometimes for weeks at a time like IN canon, IN canon he will do this shit and not stop until a) he’s reached his goal/the endpoint, or b) he is physically forcibly removed from the subject in question

this will sound nuts to you but i think lupin is sound sensitive. yes i know but listen. he’s always the first to wince/recoil at a loud sound, even if he’s not TRULY bothered by it-- ex: zenigata shouts, lupin KNOWS he’s going to shout, anticipates the volume, even, but still tenses up, even though he’s grinning and actively enjoying the fact that he brought that upon himself. so, to balance that, lupin has decided he’s just going to be louder than whatever’s out there that could bother him. you may have noticed the company he shares hotel rooms with is almost always reserved and quiet unless he is the one instigating and encouraging the rowdiness. boom baby case and point.

all in all it’s surprisingly only something you notice if you spend a significant amount of time around him. he’s autistic i promise. its just. well. he’s hyperfixated on cash and his special interest is getting bitches

jigen:

jigen is very picky. and i mean cheers i’ll drink to that. nobody touch him. nobody speak too loud. nobody fuck with how he likes his drink. nobody touch his gun (you’ll mess it up) NOBODY DO ANYTHING. save for a very, very select few. 

light sensitive. not very shocking given the fact his hat is almost more of a signature item for him than his magnum but ANYWAY! it’s why he’s so particular that it must be HIS hat!! the thickness, the way it sits, the way it shadows his eyes especially, all of this is important. “but wait” you could hypothetically maybe be saying, “wouldn’t that extend to his bangs? in the whole shielding him from the light sense. wouldn’t it just make more sense if he always kept his bangs over his eyes like that?” yes! you’re so right if you were saying that! i don’t know why you would be but regardless. uh, yeah, it would make the most sense for him to ALWAYS have them pushed over his eyes, but. have you ever sacrificed comfort for fashion. that slicked back look is NICE dude

all n all jigen is the “‘Nobody had Autism until recently’ right cuz your grandpa who only wore the same type of shirt, took the same sandwich to work every day and knows everything about the inner workings of a 1979 Ferrari was SO neurotypical” meme. 

fujiko:

absolute. crown champ of masking. what the fuck. i don’t even think she herself has realized because all of it has been pushed down for so long. which part of this might just be, sorry if this is too realistic and boring but like. diagnosis sexism? people do not notice neurodivergent traits in girls as easily. or that’s what they SAY but they somehow schoolyard bullies can pick up on it very easily! point being, they say that with girls it tends to manifest as talkativeness in the right environments, but when suppressed in those formative years, those girls grow up into women who have a million things to say but only say two of them, meaning her mind is just SWIMMING with insane thoughts and shit. that’s how you get fujikos bro. you have to let that little girl be weird and explain spyro the dragon in exact detail to you or she’ll grow up to be a calculated murderer/world famous thief

now if you actually brought it up she would dismiss you and make some remark like “not wanting polyester to touch your skin isn’t a sensory issue, it’s a lifestyle choice” which. ok yeah haha good one fujicakes but i’ve noticed that you tend to favor dresses/shirts that leave your arms free without any fabric brushing on them, and for someone who’s so focused on the VALUE of fashion you’re cutting the insewn tags off these clothes..? what’s that about baby where did that come from? yeah the joke about “oh yes i totally wear heels because i hate my soles touching the ground, not because i just happen to love high fashion” was funny but you actually do tend to walk around on the balls of your feet barefoot too. that’s not good for you fujiko that can do damage to the nerves in your legs (yes really if you’re reading this and you do that it can cause permanent issues in your legs SO TRY TO BREAK THAT HABIT IF POSSIBLE)

also traces of hyperfixating, just not as obviously visible as it is with lupin. with fujiko it’s almost undercover. like, reading her phone under the table, just happening to suggest watching this one movie that happened to be praised for how accurately it replicates the layout of this one museum the gang has been thinking about infiltrating, a few hyperspecific books mixed in with standard romance schlock she’s most definitely not reading from the library just to pad out that receipt. it’s not so much a conscious choice to microdose feeding the beast so to speak, it’s more that she’s forced herself to commit more to her image than anything, so she’s accidentally pacing herself like that

goemon:

MENTIONED BEFORE BUT WE BELIEVE IN TOUCH AVERSE GOEMON IN THIS HOUSE! DO NOT BE BUGGING THIS GUY SLINGING YOUR ARM AROUND HIS SHOULDER OR YOU WILL GET CHOPPED IN THE GUT!! unless you are one of a select few (are you noticing a trend with the collection here) might also partially be a texture thing too, because i can’t think of another reason someone would subject themselves to the insanely uncomfortable plan of wearing your normal clothes UNDER a tuxedo despite the fact you have to squeeze that giant billowing fabric in there

“bbububut i thought autistic people struggled with eye contact” not goemon ishikawa the 13th bitch. you are getting intensely stared at like a claw machine just barely dangling the prize over the pit. he wants you to know he’s paying attention! he’s listening! sure he might be paying attention to see if he can pick up on nervous tics to tell if you’re lying, and maybe he’s listening that intently to catch you when you slip up, BUT HEY, we don’t know that! to his credit goemon only SOMETIMES realizes how intimidating this can be, and only SOMETIMES intentionally weaponizes it, but… still, very intense eye contact

hell man aside from his stubbornness and pride even his picky food taste might tie into this a bit. anybody who’s been hooked on one specific “safe food” for like two months gets it, especially the fact that goemon can instantly tell when the food is “wrong.” if you cooked this meat for two seconds too long, if you didn’t let the rice sit long enough, if you cheaped out and used some generic alternative-- well on that last one he might not blame you as much because this economy IS pretty rough, but the point is, he can immediately tell and WILL tell the chef to their face “you did this wrong. do better next time.” unfortunately most people don’t take kindly to that and because of goemon’s nature when he’s caught off guard he’ll go “sorry. sorry just let me… let me show you i suppose” and next thing he knows he’s teaching an impromptu cooking course. we went kinda off the rails on this one didn’t we. oops!

zenigata:

if monkey punch meant it when he said “zenigata can’t be stupid, because that would mean lupin is stupid,” then because lupin is insane, zenigata must also, naturally, be insane, in some of the same flavors

the main thing about him is that he’s so damn resilient he doesn’t actually SAY anything unless he really wants to complain. he might be thinking “god why is cottage cheese like this. this is kind of gross” but he’ll still EAT it, “the sun is WAY too bright and i lost my hat AGAIN this fucking SUCKS” but he’s stlil going to be outside because he knows he HAS to be out there. toughing it out and only SLIGHTLY whining about it. really the only time he makes it known outside of offhanded grumbly complaints is when lupin is the source of it. if lupin is like bouncing his leg in the passenger side of the cop car (because god forbid he stuff him in the backseat right) zenigata just grabs his knee and stares at him until lupin is like “oh oops! sorry. is that distracting?” and then 10 minutes later he starts it up again. the line between ‘this is driving my brain insane’ and ‘i just have beef with anything that brings you, personally, delight” is very thin

but ironically zenigata can’t stay still very long himself either. if he’s been stuck sitting for more than 25 minutes he can feel his insides shrinking up and withering away. maybe that’s why he chews on shit like a hyena gnawing off its own leg to escape predators. anything to get the zoomies out dude. 

i don’t have to tell you that this bitch is also dangerously intensely hyperfixating right. i don’t have to go into this? like you. we’re looking at the same guy here. right? okay. so long as this point is understood

[beaisdifferent]

The Sadness of Learning

There is a mourning process that comes with being diagnosed.  And it can be really confusing.  You can spend years and years--sometimes your whole life—suspicious of yourself, knowing something about you is different, and not having the words to describe it.  You can feel so left behind, so disconnected, so misunderstood, so frustrated, and so silenced.  Then the words do come, things like mature for your age, shy, sensitive, lazy, ungrateful, difficult.

So when you put together the pieces as an adult and finally realize that you might need to seek out a professional’s opinion for all these thoughts and behaviors that you hadn’t grown out of yet, it can be so exciting.  You sit for four hours of tests, doing random activities with a stranger who calls you back after a week of thinking on it to tell you that you have autism and ADHD.

That’s it!  I’m not weird, I’m not stupid, I’m not any of those things.  It’s not me, it’s just the way my brain is wired!  It can be so validating, such an important cornerstone to understanding yourself and finding your identity and your community.

But there is also something strangely final about it as well.

I remember after getting my diagnoses, the sadness I felt was unexpected.  I had suspected myself of being autistic for a long time, and though the ADHD speculations were newer, they were firm as well.  It just made sense, this would explain so much of what was going on with me, what had characterized my internally turbulent childhood.  But when my doctor said, “Definitely autistic,” it struck me.

I think I’m still figuring out how to put it down into words.  This is permanent, this is my situation, something I will need to handle and monitor and be responsible for for the rest of my life.  There is something wrong with me.  It’s not going to go away.

I have to manage my neurodivergent self in a neurotypical world.  Even on days I’m just home by myself, even on days I’m working to get to the end of the day, even on days I wish I could strangle the pieces of me that don’t fit in the way the world demands they do.

It’s a lot of work, a lot of research, a lot of relearning how to both find mercy with myself but also take responsibility for my shortcomings, whether or not they really feel like faults.  It’s something that I have to keep in mind all the time, something I have to keep secret from certain people, something I have to hold even when it’s weighing me down.  And it so often weighs me down. 

There is something wrong with me.  I don’t want to have to be positive about it all the time, sometimes it’s really hard and I wish I was different.  There was a period of adjusting to this news, of learning how to swallow it down and accept myself as I was.  I’ve mostly settled in with it now, made a bed for it beside my own so we can properly get to know each other and rest without spite for the following morning.  After over a year of compiling the right resources, I’ve been able to use the diagnosis as a springboard to understand myself and massively improve my life.  This has 100% been a change for the better, I need anyone hesitating to get a diagnosis to understand that.  But there was a period of sadness that came with learning all of this about myself, and sometimes its still here, still lingering as I practice harder than anyone else I know to keep my shit together and fail anyway.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Hey! I just wanted to say I appreciate you Reblogging/posting more Christian content. I’m a Protestant, but I’ve never really seen Tumblr as a place where I can/should talk about faith and engage with other Christians. It’s been really nice, though, to see your Christian posts on my dash, and I might start doing some of my own.

Curio, this ask means the absolute world to me, and please know I would love any Christian posts you made! 🥰

As for seeing tumblr as a place where you "can" or “should/should not” talk about your faith, I think you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable and makes you happy.

The whole reason I got a tumblr was because I didn’t have a place in my life where I could talk about my hyper fixations and interests, so I do that here. The neurotypicals in my life found it hard to listen to my ramblings, and even when they did indulge me, they never really appreciated or understood why it made me so happy. It’s nice to have people who understand and appreciate what I'm talking about (and I’m so grateful to all of you for that).

The reason I started talking about Christianity on my blog is kinda similar: I'm not in a place where I can talk about it irl, which leaves a whole aspect of my life I can't discuss (or even mention) with people. I don’t want to get into the details just in case this post somehow reaches anyone who knows me irl (I doubt any of them would have a tumblr, but I could be wrong), but to make a long story short, I’ve had people who are my peers and higher ups in places I work imply (well not imply, they straight up said it in a public talk) that religious people should not be allowed to have certain jobs or wouldn’t be good at certain jobs, including my job (no they don’t know I’m religious and actually think I’m one of the best at my job, ironically) and in other professional situations I have been harassed in… for the sake of avoiding a trigger warning, “very inappropriate” ways specifically due to the fact that I’m religious. The saying I shouldn’t be allowed to have my job thing was completely unprompted since they didn’t know I was religious at the time. The other thing was because I wrote a cross necklace one time and offhandedly mentioned going to Church when asked on a Monday what I did the day before (which I regret telling them and will not be doing irl again). I have other examples, but I think you get the idea.

So yeah, in both cases it’s been a bummer to have something that’s a part of me, but I just have to go through life pretending it doesn’t exist. Not even in a “yeah I go to Church, I might mention it sometimes, but I’m not trying to force it on you or anything.” Or “there’s this show I really like and I write fan fiction about it. I know you probably think it’s cringe, but it makes me happy and a lot of people really love it” way. In the real world, I don’t talk about going to Church ever even when it’s relevant and most people just assume I don’t have hobbies because I know if I told them I wrote a 300k fanfic they’d find it a cringey waste of time. I don’t want to make either of those my whole personality or force anyone to listen to me talk extensively about an aspect of my life that they personally don’t like, but it is also weird when I have to be like “sorry, gotta run, I have a meeting at 5 today” and people are like “oh what meeting?” And I’m like “uhhhhh… not Bible study?” (Because I’m smooth like that) or when people are like “what do you do for fun?” And I’m like “writing” and they’re like “oh what writing?” And I’m like “well whatever I write, it’s certainly not 300k words of fanfic haha…”

All this to say, if I can’t talk about my hobbies and religion on tumblr, then where exactly am I supposed to do it? Like I said in my original post, I want to be sensitive to people’s traumas, I’ve known people (both religious and nonreligious) who have religious trauma, and I understand people don’t always have the positive relationship Christianity that I do, but that’s what tag blocking is for and there is no reason my followers who don’t like religion shouldn’t still be able to enjoy my fandom related content. Plus so far the worst harassment I’ve gotten online for posting Christian content doesn’t even begin to compare to the stuff I’ve dealt with irl (and I hope we never get there. Obviously, this is the internet, but I’m comforted by the fact the bar for harassment I’ve had to deal with is pretty high. I certainly hope no one is foolish or terrible enough to consider that as a challenge). Additionally, as I said in that post, just because some of my fics have religious themes in them or ideas about redemption, forgiveness, and love that have been directly inspired by my faith doesn’t mean my secular and non-Christian followers don’t, haven’t or can’t enjoy them. And so far, the vast majority of my followers (Catholic, Protestants, atheists, agnostic, those of other faiths, etc.) have been extremely nice about it in my asks and DM’s, saying that they either like the Christian content I’m reblogging or appreciate the tag blocking system so they can continue to enjoy my fandom content.

So post what you want and what you feel comfortable with. It’s your blog, your space, and you should be able to do what you want with it. Best of luck my friend! 💒✝️💕

[realmermaid333]

my first autism awareness month post lol (im so late)

For this autism awareness month I want to talk about the more I guess "taboo" part of autism acceptance and the Autistic Experience TM

People say they support people with autism until an autistic person makes a social mistake and says something weird or stims in an "odd" way or does literally anything "strange". As soon as we unmask or the mask slips people no longer want to support us. 

I see this a lot with social mistakes being made then people being extremely judgmental and even going as far as saying people are using autism as an excuse to make social mistakes. While this has happened before, it isn’t always the case.

A big reason why we need autism awareness is people don't fully understand what autism is. 

I'll give a simplified definition: Autism is a developmental disability that impacts the nervous system. It impacts social and emotional development and common symptoms are difficulty with communication and social interaction, obsessive interests, and repetitive behaviors. 

There's more to it but that's the gist. Autistic people misinterpret social cues pretty often and that can lead to small miscommunications or even huge misunderstandings. Some people with autism struggle to tell when someone's joking, some autistic people struggle to tell when a joke or comment is appropriate, some autistic people struggle to tell if they are arguing with someone, some autistic people can't tell they are hurting people's feelings unless they are told. 

We are a wide spectrum. There are varying levels: level 1 (generally low support needs on most days/for most people), level 2 (generally medium support needs on most days/for most people), and level 3 (generally high support needs on most days/for most people). 

I find that a lot of the time when people are introduced to the topic of autism it is from a level 1, low support needs autist who is great at masking. While those people deserve and need platforms too- I myself am a level 1 with lower support needs, though I am not very good at masking- we often ignore the level 2 and 3 autistics and those who are visibly autistic.

There may be a time when an autistic person says something that makes you upset or uncomfortable and you need to communicate that. Not everyone can tell they said something that made someone uncomfortable. I think we would all also benefit from being less judgemental when someone makes a social mistake. All humans make them from time to time, though especially autistic people and other neurodivergent people do. 

I am also tired of people saying that mentioning you’re autistic after accidentally saying something that makes someone uncomfortable is using it as an excuse. It is not an excuse and shouldn’t be used as one! But it is an explanation. Understanding that someone is autistic is really good background to knowing why they may have said something. An autistic person may share they are autistic after a misunderstanding so you know it wasn't intentional and that they understand now and hope to avoid the same thing in the future. 

As a lot of ya’ll are my friends, and I may be one of the only autistic people you are friends with, though only online. I want to tell you about my own social mistakes. I come across much more neurotypical online because I can overthink what I say lol. And most of the time it isn't healthy. I am so anxiously self aware to the point of self sabotage sometimes. When I am in online spaces I overthink what I'm going to say and sometimes edit and revise messages before I send them (I am trying to stop doing this). This is how I tend to avoid misunderstandings! I do get scared I'll mess up and people won't want to talk to me anymore. I shouldn't do that! But yeah, irl I have accidentally said things that people didn't like. I've accidentally made people uncomfortable because I couldn't edit and revise my words after I said them like I can when I type before sending. 

This is an easy thing to do in general even for someone who isn't autistic! We've all done something like this before. But when you're autistic and you may miss the context of jokes others were making or you may entirely misread a social situation. Then you try to join in and sometimes it doesn't work or you fuck up. It happens! I've done this before many times. And unfortunately people tend to be really judgmental about social mistakes, at least in my experience. It makes being autistic really hard sometimes. 

And this does not mean that you shouldn't tell an autistic person they've made you uncomfortable or said something you didn't like! That kind of constructive criticism is okay and necessary! People won't know you're upset if you keep it to yourself, especially if this is a person who reads social cues and body language poorly. This post isn't to excuse something negative an autistic person may say or say your feelings are invalid if an autistic person makes you upset. It's just to hopefully help people be more understanding. 

i don’t wanna type a tldr, just read/skim i guess. but here’s a crappy one. 

Social mistakes are a huge thing for autistic people and it just saddens me and makes me self conscious sometimes the harsh ways people deal with them. it can be really easy to make a social mistake for most people, but especially for autistic people, and especially in online spaces. 

prepare for more of my rants & musings about autism related things

[did-someone-say-aliens]

Hi, so, you seem like the kind of person I should go to for this kind of thing.

I recently made a friend at my new high school who is autistic and uses all these weird terms and pronouns that I don’t personally really understand, I was hoping you could give me a decent understanding of what they talk about when they say they go by xenopronouns or age regress. I really want to be a supportive friend, but I don’t really understand.

How do I support my autistic friend?

OMG! I’m so happy you came to me for this. A lot of people (including but not limited to allistics/neurotypicals) have trouble understanding certain terms or what they mean or certain concepts and so on that autistic people use.

Look no further sweet children here I am to explain a ton of terms‼️ So all those definitions and explanations under the cut! Hope this helps!

Disclaimer: Some of the terms listed are NOT exclusively linked to autism. Some are. They’re just terms that are commonly used. HOWEVER. some are directly linked to autism and can’t be used by people without neurodivergencies. Thanks!!

lets start off simple. Xenopronouns!

These are commonly used by neurodivergent people who don’t feel like any kind of “normal” genders fit them, or that normal gender identities like male, female, nonbinary, etc, don’t exactly make sense to them. (I use xenos too!)

here are some examples of xenogender flags:

Catgender: A gender relating to or feeling aligned with cats. Pronouns commonly used under this identity (but not limited to) are Cat/paw/kit/kitten.

Clowncatgender: Commonly, xenogender users will create their own subsets of these genders, and Clowncatgender is an example of that. Its a gender alligned with cats but also clowns, confetti, etc!

Bunnygender: A gender relating to and alligned with bunnies! Common pronouns under this identity are Bunny/paw :] The Umbrella Xenogender Flag!: This flag is used by people who just go by xenopronouns who either use a lot or just like the concept and make their own pronouns.

Neopronouns are essentially the same thing ^^

Now lets learn how to use them!! say for example your friend started going by Cat/paw/bunny. How would you refer to them?

“Bunny told me about the science quiz.”

“Oh, cat was just telling me about the new spiderverse movie!”

”Paw is very nice.”

I hope that helped!

Age Regression.

Age Regression is not a term coined specifically for autism. People age regress for all sorts of different reasons, like to cope trauma or other mental health issues. But it’s also often used as a device for coping for individuals who are autistic!

Whats the official definition? Heathline.com says!!

“Age regression occurs when you mentally retreat to an earlier age. In all ways, you believe you're back at that point in your life, and you may exhibit childish behaviors, too. Some people choose to revert to a younger age. In this case, it can be a coping mechanism to help them relax and eliminate stress.”

Age Regression sometimes ties into xenogenders too, because some people have created xenogender identities related to age regression. These identities often begin with the prefix “agre”

Individuals who age regress may act childish, indulge in childish media, etc. It varies from person to person.

Kinning

Otherkin- Otherkin isn’t a term coined for autism but it is commonly used. Otherkin is when you allign yourself with an animal or any fictional creature for that matter, and feel that you aren’t entirely human or your soul isn’t entirely human.

Fictionkin- Fictionkin is a subset of kinning where you have a fictional character you relate to so much that you feel as if you are the character or are some kind of reincarnation.

Kinning- Kinning is not simply relating to a character, its seeing yourself in a character for a large portion of the series or media. You relate to them on a much more personal and spiritual level ^^

Stimming- Sometimes, expressing ourselves through words can be EXTREMELY difficult. So can self regulation. Stimming is our way of expressing emotions sometimes, such as happiness, sadness, anger, or anxiety. Sometimes we stim because we’re happy but sometimes its during a meltdown that it makes us feel better. Stims vary from person to person. It’s important not to tell them to stop or suppress their stims because it hurts us SO. MUCH.

Special Interests- Special interests IS a term coined specifically for autism. Its an intense love and focus for a specific topic, media, show, game, fandom, song, anything. Hyperfixation- A version of special interest that lasts only for a specific period of time, sometimes a few months, a few weeks, a few days, maybe even longer.

Comfort Items- Comfort items are used for a certain sense of security and safety. They can be ANYTHING. if they are lost it is the END OF THE WORLD. i cannot stress this enough, please validate their comfort items or things or rituals or whatever they do for comfort because it is SO IMPORTANT.

Now lets move on from all those definitions and terms. Lets go to

HOW DO YOU SUPPORT YOUR FRIEND?

While things they get upset about seem trivial to you or strange to be upset about, it’s important to remember that what seems trivial or stupid to you is EXTREMELY important to us. Like oh my fucking god. Being understanding and supportive goes such a long way.

How to deal with overstimulation or a meltdown? It really varies from person to person, since the symptoms of autism or what may cause a meltdown differs so much. But I cannot emphasize this enough, do NOT touch them during a meltdown. You’re gonna make things so much worse. Only do it if you KNOW they are okay with it or if you KNOW it will help them and it makes them feel better.

If its caused by sound- Get them out of that loud area or stop the flow of stimulus. Please do NOT compress them like autism speaks tells ypu to do. Autism speaks is a hateful group that spreads misinformation about autism, and is extremely focus on “curing” autism instead of stopping the hate, discrimination, and making sure they’re accommodated and safe.

Get them to a safe area and if you can’t, do everything you can to make sure they are not uncomfortable. Possibly cover their ears if they’e okay with being touched.

But I cannot tell you how to help them during a meltdown because I don’t know what helps THEM specifically! Beforehand or afterhand, ask them what they would want you to do during a meltdown. When they’re ok, when they’re safe. Dont start freaking out, because that only adds more stimulation to their already overstimulated brain!

(If possible, sometimes turning off the lights helps)

Anyways, there is so much that I can’t cover in this one post but PLEASE be mindful. Autistic people are people too! All we want is respect. Good luck!

[microstmnt]

Some more turtles, at this point I might as well make designs for every stage of their lives (dont tempt me into making a month by month progress of the Battle Nexus arc cause I will...)

Anyways, turtle tots time! Yes I mainly took inspiration from Rise, can you blame me? Their turtle tots are the best, unmatched character design

I’m not entirely sure I’m happy with those heights, and I cant believe I found myself googling “what’s the normal height for a toddler”, but here we are. As always, more tidbits under here:

A lot of non judgemental people helped Splinter during these times were he was new at being a dad and not having a proper home for the kids, providing them with important items such as food, clothes, blankets and even working equipment, most of the people helping them were people in similar situations to his

Leo: Probably because he’s the one that stayed as a turtle the most out of his bros he has more turtle qualities, such as suffering the cold or biting dad cause he doesn’t like being picked up, being the least fuzzy at bath time, putting bugs in his mouth... wait that’s just a standard toddler thing. He always seemed to be the responsible older bro, taking care of his brothers whenever Spinter had to go out on the surface in search of food, Leo was always reasuring his brothers everything would be okay. Part of Splinter panicked (probably the Yoshi part) about him taking so long to talk, but his rat nature knew that even if he didnt speak there were other ways to communicate with his son, Leo eventually did speak but it seemed that he had less trouble speaking with his brothers than to his dad, perhaps because he was not a turtle?

Raph: Oh boy, the twins were inseparable from a verly early age, Splinter’s guess is that it’s because they might be from the same clutch, or perhaps simply cause they look alike, whatever the case they like to switch places, to the point Splinter decided to keep track on them by color coding them, letting the boys pick their colors (not that it worked, they simply switched bandanas and clothing and Splinter still had a hard time telling them apart). He always had a bit of a temper, whenever he played with his brothers he found that he lost patience and control more easily than his bros, wich often resulted in him either pushing his brothers, hitting them (like kids do), or crying, sometimes all of them (especially if Leo was involved, cause if he got pushed he BIT back lmao), single dad desperatly looking for anger issues books on garbage bins. Doesnt remember the time he got lost at all, maybe it left some trauma, but if it did he buried it deeep, Splinter never forgets (or forgives himself) for this

Donnie: One neat little trick Splinter found to pick them apart was to take a look at their bandaids, Raph likes to draw on his, while Donnie keeps them plain (wich by the way he doesnt need the bandaids, he just puts them on so its easier for them to switch and harder for Splinter to realize, little shits, how do you explain to toddllers that bandaids are not that easy to find? lmao), from very early on it was clear that Donnie was not neurotypical, everything in the sewers was too much, the smell, the noises and vibrations from everything above them, constant humidity and weird icky textures, Donnie was constantly overstimulated (god even thinking about it, it would be a nightmare to me), and his only known coping mechanism was crying, Splinter could only calm him by hugging him to his chest, or burying him in blankets, it wouldnt be until much later after meeting April that Donnie would learn about autism. He fixed (and broke...) everything electrical in the lair, he learned basically through trial and error but thank god he’ a fast learner. When he was like 7 he got in a bit of an accident (jackass moment probably...) that broke part of his front plastron, and even tho it was a rather traumatic experience Donnie remembers it fondly, since Raph in his panic of not looking exactly like his twin brother proceeded to do the exact thing that Donnie did and also broke his plastron in (a miracle) exactly the same shape Donnie did.... Dad understandably distraught

Mikey: BABY! Loves being picked up (to this day, but he’s grown a lot so not a lot of people can), being the youngest he always followed his brothers on all adventures, and being the youngest he got excluded from said adventures like 80% of the time (cheers to being the little sibling), initially Splinter was just going to have the twins color coded, but when Mikey saw color he instantly wanted to participate, so his dad decided to have all his sons be color coded. Social butterfly, often talked to the other rats in the sewers, believing them to be like uncles and aunties, was the one more influenced by what he saw on tv and the one that made the most questions about their situation (Spinter sweating bullets), he might have got them in trouble with a sewer crocodile due to his social nature when they were like 9... but Splinter would never hold him accountable for that, maybe just a little talk about stranger danger... Used to wear mostly dresses as a kid (actually, skirts with holes for arms, everything else was too big, I imagine not a lot of people dump toddler clothes but I might be wrong)

[moonstonehailstorm]

I recently discovered that I am autistic. I wish I could say I took it calmed and with positivity, but no: it was a mess.

A friend of mine shared a page called Embrace Autism, and I know a lot of people don't value the self diagnosis, but those tests are validated, updated and revised by several doctors and professionals.

When I did the first, my score was high but I laughed. Everybody is a bit autistic, right? This can't be right. Then I took another test, a longer one designed for adults who scape diagnosis due to masking and other conditions. I scored high again. I was not laughing anymore, it started to feel weird. Then I made another, and high again. This couldn't be real... I started to look for information focused on autism in adults and it slowly started to make sense. I couldn't believe it, I didn't want it to be real.

I surely started to cry, because the reality sunk in like million bricks. I've always related to Sheldon Cooper, but that was a joke, right? Well, maybe not so much... And all those times my mom would tell me to sit down correctly, to do or not do certain things, the way I don't understand sometimes social cues, how I learned to smile to people copying one of my cousins because I watched her do so, I never smiled as a kid and nowadays people think I'm too serious... Things like fidgeting, hyperfixate on stuff and having special interests, infodump my friends and be very conscious that I annoy them, categorize things, having misophonia and sometimes misokinesia, being absolutely unable to eat hot food or shower with hot water, and be extremely sensitive if someone pokes my arm... A lot of stuff that people considered exaggerations or calling me straight up crazy now have a name.

It was not easy... It still isn't and I'm still discovering stuff. And it hurts to think that I've changed things due to criticism, or just to fit in. And sometimes I catch myself remembering things and realizing it was my autism. For example, I once said in a job interview that I tend to focus on details a little bit too much as a weakness... It is not appreciated by neurotypicals for us to focus on the little bits instead of the big picture, and that's just wrong, that's rejecting myself and that's not who I am.

It's been a complicated process. And this takes me to another point: no therapist ever told me I may have autistic traits. And all of my problem regarding to selfharm was actually related to my autism. It was selfinjurious stiming. Needless to say I started to cry again when I read an article about it because every single piece that was missing finally found their place and the huge amount of relief that came after was incredible.

This is going to be a long process of self acceptance and discovering. I've spent almost all of my life wondering why anxiety didn't fit at all, or obsessive compulsive traits, things I thought I had and that have been suggested by professionals in therapy. None of them noticed I am neurodivergent. But now that I know, I can take the following steps that I actually need, and finally heal parts of me that were not broken, they were just misunderstood.

[compassionatereminders]

Personally (i can only talk for myself of course) i dont always like the tone in your recent posts in comparison to your posts of a couple of years ago. I can only talk for myself but it felt accusatory, something like this: “have YOU done this? YOU did not and so its YOUR fault etc.” while almost everyone has made and still makes mistakes in their communication (since its a lifelong learning process), so we become defensive, like you do too sometimes. Im with you about the fact that we should not expect anyone to read our minds, but the post to me felt like you started a conversation and didnt finish, for example you say “its a two way street” but you talk about one side only, the other side is that a person as to be willing to listen, this is just an example, communication is a big topic so your post feels like a drop of water so it can be easy to feel like something is missing, you usually ten follow up with other posts clarifying more but they get “lost” because they are not getting as much notes, meaning many people will not read those ones at all. Also im a little confused because you say you are neurotypical (and im not say you are not!) so you dont come from a place of privilege, but you yourself said that your social skills are one of the few things where you are actually probably above average (if i remember right). Anyway this are my two cents for the criticism you asked, take it or leave it thats on you. There are other things i could say but it would be boring and just petty of me. If i worded something in a weird way i apologise in advance, i try to be clear but it can be hard

I get what you're saying, but the thing is that this blog is a place where I post about my own journey and what I'm personally working on. And in my life there has been a shift from placing blame elsewhere to taking on more personal responsibility. A shift which my blog reflects. And it's valid and understandable if that approach doesn't work as well for you, but you gotta remember that while I love to help others, this project is still mainly about me and my journey. I post what I need to hear. And sometimes it helps others too. But that's a bonus. That being said, I will try to be a bit clearer in my communication when it can come across as accusatory, because my intention definitely isn't to upset people. Especially if they're mainly upset because they misunderstood what I was trying to say. And about my own social skills, then I do have certain privileges in that area today, but I haven't always had those. And I'm definitely not neurotypical just because I struggle more in different areas. That being said, point taken. I'll keep this in mind!

[headspace-hotel]

In your post about the differences between neurotypicals and neurodivergents when it comes to sensory overload, I identified with most (nearly all) of what you presented. However there are many elements of autism (you tagged the post as such) that I don't see in myself, which is why I see HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) as a more accurate descriptor. There have been a lot of conflicting views concerning HSPs though, with some even saying it's ableist and discriminatory.

I'm curious about how your post applies to HSPs. Do you see HSPs as simply being autistic, but with some absent or milder traits? Should these people seek an assessment? Are there forms of neurodivergence other than autism that can also experience sensory overload like you described?

I hope my tone doesn't come across as accusatory or a bombardment of questions, I really am just curious :) Thank you for your time if you do answer this question.

Honestly it's an "all models are wrong but some are useful" thing for me. I think that most people who think of themselves as falling under the "Highly Sensitive Person" label or concept would probably benefit from at least looking into various forms of neurodivergence. For me, being "overly sensitive" on every level was the most prominent early sign of autism that was disruptive to my life.

Seeking out an assessment and/or diagnosis is a personal choice with no right or wrong. It was a very good thing for me, but other people are not me.

As for other forms of neurodivergence being prone to sensory overload—yes! it is a thing. People with ADHD also have this to some extent and there is also "sensory processing disorder." Anxiety and PTSD i believe also carry with them a sensory-sensitivity element sometimes, but this may be a chicken-or-egg scenario—there's some tentative data supporting the idea that autistic people are more vulnerable to being traumatized by events that others may not experience as traumatic per se, and I personally have had severe anxiety my entire life, which is definitely connected to the effect autism has on my experience of the world.

But there is natural variation in people's ability to tolerate stimuli and their sensitivity. My family members have a variety of diagnoses but they all have some "autistic" traits. Autism related literature discusses the "broader autism phenotype," or BAP, which is basically just..."people that are a little weird, but not diagnosable, who are more likely to have autistic children."

So everyone actually is "a little autistic," in the sense that autism is part of the spectrum of human diversity, and a smooth gradation of traits that fades into the typical traits of the general population instead of a defined presence or absence of something we call "Autism."

My only reservation with this is that I have seen some rather...sketchy schemas for understanding "neurodivergent traits." For instance, there are numerous infographics, screenshots of posts, and memes listing the traits of an "Empath," and things like sensory overload and hypersensitivity to stimuli are frequently included on those lists.

All models are wrong, but some are wronger.