#thoughts while trying to sleep

[a-stars-art-blog]

Sorry for the anguish last time. Here’s something silly to make up for it <3

Happy BenBaro Tuesday everyone

[boredth]

Wrong apartment, wrong target

[xxplastic-cubexx]

welcome back to my accidental newfound journey to redraw every frame from this movie i GUESS

[cvrruptlove]

teen sam and dean, theyre in a motel thats so bad that the hot water barely lasts 5 minutes and can take over a day to come back so they have to resort to showering together. its awkward, the shower is tiny and they are basically pressed against each other, wet skin on skin. they are facing away from each other to try and make it not weird as possible.

its not like theyve never seen each other naked before but its never been like this and unfortunately for them both, their teen horniness wont get the memo that that silky skin pressed against them isnt supposed to make them hard

[s0fter-sin]

trans!soap taking his baby and running away from his rich abusive husband

(cw angst, financial abuse, single threat of child abuse, single mention of transphobia)

he's owned soap for years, since he was a teenager; paid for his medication and all his surgeries and tied them so deeply, soap’s lost hope of ever getting away. he gets even worse when soap falls pregnant. he was always controlling; blowing up at him if he spent too long out of the house or did something without telling him. but he becomes utterly possessive during the pregnancy

soap knows it has nothing to do with his safety or the baby's

he knows he sees his baby as an investment; another being he can control and hold over him

he gets worse and worse but there’s nothing soap can do. there's been nothing he can do for a long time. then a few months after the baby is born, soap doesn’t watch his tone closely enough and his husband threatens to drop his baby in punishment for it

soap doesn't think. he doesn't plan

he takes his baby and runs

he sneaks out of the servant's quarters of the sterile mansion he's been forced to live in for almost a decade and walks down the street without a backwards glance; his baby the only thing in his arms. he knows all of his husband's cars have trackers, all of them in his name since he never lets soap drive or go anywhere by himself, so he walks far enough to be out of view of the mansion's cameras and steals one. it doesn't have a car seat and all he can do is clutch his baby to his chest as he drives

he doesn't know where he's going beyond away

he doesn't know what he's going to do; he doesn't have any money, no supplies for his baby, he doesn't even have water for himself so he can reliably breastfeed him. he's terrified his husband will find them; he’s always felt omniscient, always everywhere and seeing everything he did. if he didn’t have eyes somewhere, he paid someone who did and they always dutifully reported back to him

soap just keeps his eyes forward. just keeps driving and driving, lost to the road and numb until the low gas light pops up on the dash and it all hits him at once

he turns into a gas station he can't pay for, in a car he stole, and parks behind it and his baby immediately starts getting fussy

he can't even call him by his name sometimes; too afraid to get attached, too afraid to lose him. as if he doesn’t love him more than life itself

even throughout his pregnancy, as happy as he was to finally have a baby, he didn't know if he could carry to term and that fear just let his husband dig his claws in even deeper; paying for extra scans he could never hope to pay for, favours on top of favours so he would aways owe him and isn’t he such a loving husband? taking soap in when his parents kicked him out for being trans, looking after him for all these years? you can’t even take care of yourself john, you’d still be a woman without me, john, what is this tantrum about john-

soap tugs his shirt up to let his baby feed, drops his head back and cries

he can't stop it; wails loud and uncontrolled, chest heaving with his sobs enough that it sways his baby, occasionally breaking his latch and he can't even do this right-

he can't save him

a light knock sounds on the window and soap flinches, curling over his baby to protect him from his huband's cruel hands

but it's not his husband outside the window

soap blinks tears from his eyes and looks at the large stranger standing beside the car. a neck gaiter covers his mouth and it should be off-putting… but something about him stops the feeling in its tracks. the stranger takes a half-step back and lifts a chilled and sealed water bottle, pressing it towards the window

soap quickly swipes his face clean and rolls down the window. "sorry 'bout that," he apologises with a choked laugh, the careful front he’s built over the years cracked and bleeding

the stranger gives a dismissive but somehow not diminishing shrug. "long day?" he asks

"could say that," he gives a shrug of his own and pats his baby's back as he makes a disgruntled noise, unconsciously swaying him

he politely keeps his gaze up on his face. "looks like you could use a break."

soap's breath hitches, anxiously darting his tongue out over his bottom lip. "could say that," he repeats uselessly and takes the water with a quiet “thanks,”; his throat dry and screaming for it after crying so hard

the stranger hums, watching him down the bottle and soap doesn’t notice his eyes drifting to the backseat and footwell of the passenger side. doesn’t notice the slight tension in his fists at what he sees. "how long you been runnin', lad?"

soap freezes, the water settling in his stomach like a stone. he swallows thickly and the bottle falls from his lips

"not long enough."

the stranger just nods, looking idly back down the highway

"you know, this place is connected to a garage,” he starts, nodding back to a building attached to the station without taking his eyes off the road. “lotta people drift through 'ere on road trips; too many to keep track.”

soap frowns slightly, shifting his hold on his baby

“funny thing is, plenty of 'em just abandon their car when they break down. like yours,” he adds and finally turns back to him with a pointed look. “got a whole junkyard of 'em. just rustin' away. be pretty easy to convince me to trade ya one."

soap’s mouth parts in a gasp as he realises just what the stranger’s saying. "how easy?" he whispers

he shrugs and even with his face hidden beneath the gaiter, he doesn’t feel afraid. "i'd say this car'd be a good deal. would blend right in with the rest of ‘em; no one’d ever notice it. what say i take it off your hands?"

soap's breath shudders out of him, his whole body going limp with relief. his baby's eyes fall shut with a satisfied hum and for the first time he can remember, he feels the gentle touch of hope

"i think we can work something out."

🧼💀

ghost owns the service station soap pulled into. he wanted something quiet and isolated after he retired and you can’t get much quieter than a backwoods servo surrounded by forest. he hasn’t had anyone pull in in days so he’s quick to notice soap’s car. he’s also quick to notice soap's subsequent breakdown in one of the cameras. the sight of him crying, desperately clutching a baby like they’re all he has left in the world, is so familiar he felt sick with it

he knows someone running when he sees it

if he didn't check on him, if this lad disappeared one day and the baby along with him, he'd never forgive himself. the lad doesn't even have a baby bag or car seat with him, and the personalised sticker on the back window of a lady and a dog is a dead giveaway that the car is stolen

but the lad is terrified. and when he startled him, he didn't turn. didn’t lift his arms to protect himself. no

he covered his baby

like he was afraid he'd be hurt

that's enough for ghost

🧼💀

i'd wanna set this in the 80's or 90's, just to make it even harder for soap to get away from his husband. he's a trans man with a newborn; he has no one to run to and no resources to help him. his husband's bought and paid for everything for him since he was 17; a few whirlwind weeks of unbelievable dates and extravagant gifts and he was living in his mansion, getting married the day after his 18th birthday. he thought it was love. thought he was being looked after and cared for the way he’s always wanted

he was in pain and alone and naive enough to believe the first person who came along and promised to make it better. nothing's in his name, not his insurance or his meds, he doesn’t have a bank account or savings; other than a birth certificate, nothing even ties him to his baby. his husband could take his world away from him with a snap of his fingers and he made sure soap always knew it

he never had a chance of getting away

but ghost is ex-military

he doesn’t know the lad’s story, doesn’t know the details of what he’s running from. he doesn’t need to know

he decided he was helping him the second he pulled into his service station

[simonfairchildirl]

i think docm77 and jack manifold need to interact and make content together but only because i think jack would call doc "little german boy" and ignore the fact that hes a married man in his late forties with a child.

[whumpback-wail]

When whumpee went missing and was presumed dead. Everyone was sure whumpee was dead after weeks of searching with no results, not even a body. Their friends and family grieved for them, held a funeral, and eventually they all moved on. All except lover.

Lover would still search for whumpee because no body means a chance that whumpee might still be alive, even if the chances seem to dwindle with each day that passed.

One day whumper came to meet up with lover. Their respective higher ups were thinking of a truce between the opposing sides. Whumper had a masked bodyguard come along, while lover was there on their own, confident in their combat capabilities. Negotiations did not go smoothly and lover tried to attack whumper, only to have the bodyguard step in.

Lover felt like they knew this fighting style. It was familiar as if it was a person he fought or sparred with previously. Lover managed to unmask the bodyguard only to find themself face to face with whumpee.

But whumpee didn't seem to recognize lover.

[demifiendcruithne]

i spent way too much time on this

[coconut530]

WIFEY IS BACK 🥳🥳🥳

[buttercupshands]

Mha sketch dump!

feat. LoV sleeping and other things

So there's that World Hero vote going now, BUT there's also basically a personal Top 5 thing too

I thought about my top 5 for a bit and ended up with this

But as it was I didn't like that we don't exactly have a way to make multiple characters have same place like that character sorter. But my top 3 would've shared 1st place

And also it gave me some inspiration so I sketched Izuku and later Tomura. And here started the sketch wave, bc choosing AFOmura for the Tomura pic is... A choice and so there are two Tomura's on the sketch, with AFOmura getting the 2nd amd Tomura 1st

I got a bit frustrated with how I drew them so I decided to try to redraw some stuff while keeping with mha style as close as I could

I was a bit... Surprised? To see my own progress as the last time I did a thing like this it wasn't that good

Trying to simplify the style instead bc I was getting sleepy didn't help

[gracefireheart]

Time for yet another Sea Grunkles adventure, 'cause this one I've had in mind for a lil' while. It's a long though, so I'll put it under the keep reading line.

It revolves around the whole "I'm still on your mind" poem, to which- a few months into Stan and Ford's sea venture- Bill finally finds out how to get back into Stan's mind again from the Theraprism.

The only problem? Well... Bill's essentially powerless there too. Can't really make Stan's dreams chaotic and distressing like he wants to (besides just being there himself, which seems to at least annoy Stan a lil' bit), can't really make a deal with Stan even if he wanted to, can't even float around this damn Mindscape! It was frustrating to be there, especially with Stan laughing at Bill's uselessness. However, it did make him feel immense joy to know that Stan haven't slept well because of him- coupled with the fact that Stan doesn't want to tell Ford about this- so he continued visiting as often as he could.

Of course, Ford eventually notices that something's wrong with Stan. Despite getting more sleep than Ford (old habits die hard and all), Stan still looked more and more tired the more days pass. He wanted Stan to tell him what was going on without any prompting from himself, but after about a week had passed with nothing from his younger twin, Ford tries to confront him himself. Of course, Stan brushed him off.

Being two stubborn old men, they do end up arguing out on the deck of the ship. A lot of "I just want to make sure you're okay!" and "I don't need someone to take care of me, I'm completely fine!" and so on, until Stan spots something out the corner of his eye. Looking over- and upwards, upwards, upwards- Stan looked up to see a massive pink axolotl, staring down at them with a smile.

"Ah, there you are." Echoed through the air, yet the axolotl didn't move it's lips as it spoke. And of course, Stan screamed at it as he had no clue what it actually is nor why it's here.

Ford, however, looks at Stan in confusion- wondering why his brother was suddenly screaming out of nowhere. They very quickly find out that Ford can't see this giant axolotl- which was very unfair, in Ford's opinion- because, apparently, it had come here to kinda see Stanley, not Ford. Something about how Bill is breaking some rules by half leaving the Theraprism- several times- without an authorized figure with them or even knowing about it, and this axolotl's here to try and fix that. Also, Bill wasn't allowed to visit the Pines Family (or any of the Gravity Falls residents) at all to not make them relive old trauma- or give them any new trauma.

As this big axolotl spoke, Ford wanted to hear from Stan what it was saying, but of course, Stan doesn't want to say shit considering the subject matter. The Axolotl, having paused it's speech for a moment, looks sadly at the two twins- telling Stan how despite how happy this boat adventure seemed to make them, they still want to do everything in their power to "be better" for their twin. Whether by not being an inconvenience, or trying to pay back for past mistakes.

No matter, this wasn't why the Axolotl was here- the twins would have to figure that part out themselves once the Axolotl was done here. They shake their head before informing Stan that they need to be in his Mindscape for a bit to figure out how to get Bill out of there. Stan had no clue what to say to that, but even before he could try to say anything, the Axolotl surges forward and goes into his head- making Stan fall into Ford's arms, his eyes glowing bubblegum pink as he went unconscious.

This was pretty alarming for Ford to see- yelling out a distressed "STANLEY!" as he held his younger twin- but he quickly realized what was happening by the glowing eyes and remembered one of his own journal entries that could help in this situation. Carrying Stan's body to their shared bedroom, Ford places his twin's unconscious body onto the lower bed before he sets everything up with the lit candles. As Ford held his hand to Stan's forehead, it took a couple of tries to recite the exact latin words he needed to say. The moment he got it right, Ford was transported into Stan's mindscape- ready to face whatever was going on with this Axolotl he had heard high praises about in his travels through dimens--

"Hey Fordsy." "Hey. ... YOU--"

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: (folded up and hunched over with chin in hands) (brooding)

Vaggie: "Someone's got a lovely long face today."

Charlie: (sighs) "Sorry..."

Vaggie: "Don't be, sweetie." (sits and hunches over too, hands clasped) "What's got you down?"

Charlie: "You, kinda."

Vaggie: "Me?" (terrified) "What did-"

Charlie: "And all this." (waves at vaggie next to her) "Specifically."

Vaggie: (edges away) "Is it the 'sweetie' thing? 'Cause I'll stop-"

Charlie: "No. No, I like it." (sighs again) "Vaggie, in the wonderful, amazing, dream-like over a YEAR we've known each other now, have you ever, like..."

Vaggie: (edging closer again) "...have I ever...?"

Charlie: "Killed anyone?"

Vaggie: "Wh- No!"

Charlie: "Not even a little?"

Vaggie: "What would 'killed them a little' even look like..? I mean, sure I've thought about maiming people, and probably would've a few times if you hadn't been there, but-"

Charlie: "What about when I wasn't looking? No... sneaking out for some midnight murder sprees?"

Vaggie: "Charlie- I can't even get up to use the bathroom without you tearing up half the bed with your claws looking for me. We've had to get new sheets three times this month. And last time I took a midnight shower, I found you curled up on the floor just outside the door afterwards. I almost STEPPED on you!"

Charlie: (pouting) "You were gone when I woke up."

Vaggie: "I was gone maybe ten minutes."

Charlie: "And I was missing you."

Vaggie: "Yeah. I figured." (smiles) "So how the fuck am I supposed to be sneaking out to kill people, when I'm best friends with the biggest cuddle bug in all creation?"

Charlie: "I don't know!" (frustrated) "NONE of this makes any SENSE!"

Vaggie: ".... now I feel like I'm missing something."

Charlie: "You're not though! That's why-" (GROWLS) (yanks at hair)

Vaggie: "Okay, hey- Charlie?" (takes her hand) "Talk to me?"

Charlie: "....."

Charlie: "...why're you still here?"

Vaggie: "Do you... want me to move out?"

Charlie: "NO! Never! I, you- I don't even know how I'd-"

Vaggie: "So that's not the problem here. What is?"

Charlie: "The PROBLEM is- I want you here, but you shouldn't BE here! You're not a bad person! Whatever you did or used to do- you haven't been for a whole YEAR, and I'm just- just being stupid and selfish wanting you to stay, but you-"

Vaggie: "You're not-"

Charlie: "-aren’t doing anything bad! So WHY-"

Vaggie: "Charlie, hold on- no- you're not stupid or selfish. You've been alone, and that's not something you did anything to deserve, okay?"

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: "You can be sad without apologizing for it too, you know."

Charlie: (slumping) "Why are you still in hell, Vaggie?"

Vaggie: (wryly) "Not like I've got wings to flutter off with."

Charlie: "You deserve them."

Vaggie: "..... thanks for saying so, sweetie."

Charlie: "It's true."

Vaggie: “Pretty sure it’s not, since I don’t have them.”

Charlie: “You should. You should have them.”

Vaggie: “I’d rather have this.”

Vaggie: (lifts their hands)

Vaggie: “Who needs wings, when you’ve got the best cuddle bug ever. Right?”

Charlie: (holds tight) “…heaven’s probably better. Full of people you wouldn’t want to even maim. That’s where you belong, not down here in hell…”

Vaggie: “…with you?”

Charlie: “Oh I’d be fine!”

Vaggie: (lifts brow)

Charlie: “Really!” (looks away) “It’d be good. Knowing you’re up there in heaven, and, happy.”

Vaggie: “I wouldn’t be happy.”

Charlie: “Sure you would.” (miserable) “It’s heaven.”

Vaggie: “Hell’s better. It’s where you are.”

Charlie: “Vaggie…”

Vaggie: “Charlie.”

Charlie: “Be serious? Please?”

Vaggie: “I am. But it's not gonna work if you don’t listen to it.”

Charlie: “Fine.”

Charlie: (deep breath) (looks vaggie in the eye)

Charlie: “Vaggie. Do you want me to try getting you into heaven?”

Vaggie: “No.”

Charlie: (voice crack) “Are you SURE?”

Vaggie: “I’m not going anywhere. I’d miss you too much.”

Charlie: “...okay.”

Charlie: (laughs wetly) “Okay. I’d. Same.”

Vaggie: “Yeah.”

Vaggie: (dabs away charlie’s tears)

Vaggie: “You’ve been feeling extra lonely haven' you, thinking about all that on your own.”

Charlie: “Maybe. A little.”

Vaggie: “…sorry I didn’t, you know. Make sure you knew sooner. ”

Charile: (laughs for real) “Don’t be. Not like I asked.”

Vaggie: (smiles) “Sorry for making you feel like you even had to ask.”

Charlie: “Um. Uh.” (clears throat) “You’re forgiven?”

Vaggie: (chuckles)

Charlie: “…and, you’ll tell me, if you change your mind? About the whole heaven thing?”

Vaggie: “I won’t change my mind, Charlie.”

Charlie: “But if you do, you’ll say so?”

Vaggie: “Mmm, kinda feels like you’re saying it like you think I will.”

Charlie: “No. I mean you can, I just… don’t wanna worry about it like this again.”

Vaggie: “Oh. Then I promise-”

Charlie: “Thank you.”

Vaggie: “-if you promise me you’ll let me know what’s going on in that brilliant head of yours.”

Charlie: “Pfft- More silly than brilliant. Didn’t wanna bother you.”

Vaggie: “Bother me? Now you're really sounding silly. You’re not the only one who’s been lonely.”

Charlie: “Huh? You? Why were you- Ohhh…”

Vaggie: “You’ve been a million miles away lately. Welcome back.”

Charlie: “Aww Vaggie! Were you missing me, even when I was right in front of you???”

Vaggie: “Don’t even.”

Charlie: “That’s so cuuuute~”

Vaggie: “Don't. You've been worse. You were impersonating a rug- You clung on so hard after I picked you up I couldn’t even get the blankets over us again.”

Charlie: “Lucky I make a good blanket!”

Vaggie: “The best. But you still gotta stop sleeping in front of the bathroom door.”

Charlie: “I can, try?”

Vaggie: “Is it really that hard to stay in a warm soft bed?”

Charlie: “It is when you’re not there!”

Vaggie: “Sweetie, please. I’ll be coming right back.”

Charlie: “…then I can wait.”

Vaggie: “Good.”

Charlie: "...."

Charlie: “Probably. I think I can probably wait.”

Vaggie: “Ugghh...”

Vaggie: (playfully bumps shoulders) (leans in as charlie hugs her instead)

[lunapwrites]

Me, settling in for the night: Ah, time for sleep.

My brain: Hydes only responding to pain is a defense mechanism AGAINST pain and Tyler being hurt THAT BADLY by the one person he thought really got him triggered that side to take over the wheel, and if Wednesday had been less impulsive about it once she discovered the truth she might have salvaged that one. But then she wouldn't be Wednesday.

[secretrobotbird]

hey guys have a cut-up varigo scene that i've been writing and re-reading over and over for a week 😽 i imagine it happens after hugo cuts donella off, when the gang's in corona for the light trial and are spending the night in old corona at varian's place, varian and hugo can't sleep and they're kinda just like chilling outside like against varian's house or something like that

featuring two "oh" moments 😽

definitely not the best thing i've ever written but enjoy and please pardon the random little skips and jumps, idk how to fill a lot of spaces 💔

"I don’t know why now, but…” Varian shrugged. “Being back here after being gone for a while, it's... kinda bringing up some bad memories."

Hugo said nothing for a moment and pulled the folded poster from his pocket. He considered it a moment before hesitantly passing it to Varian. "Does it have something to do with this?"

Varian unfolded the paper and went still, his heart skipping a beat. Staring up at him from the paper was his fourteen year old self, the words WANTED written beneath his face. He looked exaggeratedly evil. More memories from all those years ago immediately flooded back into his head. Without looking up, he muttered, "Where– where did you find this?"

Hugo shrugged. "Back at Donella's lab. There was a box full of wanted posters and, well... that one kinda caught my attention."

Varian's pulse felt loud in his ears. His hands were shaking. His grip tightened on the paper and he took a deep breath, trying to push the images of his dad trapped in amber out of his head, the feeling of the guards dragging him from the castle, the jail cell.

Hugo leaned a little closer to him, gently putting a hand on his shoulder. "You good, Goggles?"

"I'm fine."

Hugo looked concerned, which was a relatively new look for him. "Uh, you sure?–"

"I said I'm fine!" Varian snapped.

Hugo quickly pulled his hand away and Varian immediately looked shocked and ashamed. "I-I'm sorry, I–" The paper fell from his grip into his lap, and he dropped his face into his hands. "I didn't mean…" He slightly picked his head up and looked out at the dark, quiet town, vividly remembering how it looked all those years ago when the rocks were destroying everything. "It's, uh, kind of a sensitive subject.”

"Yeah, I can tell."

Silence for a moment. “...What happened to make it that sensitive of a subject?” Hugo asked quietly, unsure if asking was really what he should have done.

Varian swallowed and looked away, rubbing his arm. “I… I did a lot of really bad things.”

“That’s vague.”

Varian shot him a glare and Hugo went quiet. The alchemist sighed and looked back down at the grass. “I told myself this whole adventure was a fresh start, y’know? One where I can meet new people who won’t hate me because of the things I did.” He glanced to Hugo. “Please don’t tell the others about this. I don’t want them to… think of me like this.”

Hugo gave him a questioning look. "No offense, Goggles, but if you really don't want anyone to know, why are you telling me?"

Varian shook his head. "I don't know. I've– I've never really gotten the chance to talk to someone about it, 'cause I feel like one little mention of all the things I did is all it'll take for everyone in the kingdom to hate me again. I-I mean, I know I'm the Royal Engineer and everything, but..." He trailed off with a sigh. "I don't know. I guess just... it would be nice to talk about it? Maybe it'll get this awful weight off my chest? Even if I wanted this adventure to be a fresh start for me to meet new people who don't know about my past?" He shook his head and leaned back against the wall, wrapping his arms around his torso. “I wish everyone could just forget about it. Myself included.”

Hugo was quiet for a few moments before saying, "Well, your past is kinda what shapes you as a person, don't you think? Maybe it's best not to forget about it.”

Varian glanced at Hugo, caught a little off-guard. "That's weirdly philosophical coming from you.”

"What can I say? I'm a deep guy," Hugo replied, that stupid smug grin spreading across his face. He cleared his throat. "What were you wanted for, though?"

Varian said nothing, looking nervous. Hugo scooted a little closer. "If it's any consolation, I've had my fair share of wanted posters," the blond assured. "I'm sure whatever you were wanted for wasn't all that bad, right?"

"Hah, yeah, sure..." Varian looked out at the forest, fidgeting with his gloves. "Whatever had you wanted probably wasn't nearly as bad as me."

–(uhhh smth smth he tells hugo some of the crazy stuff he did in s1 idk how to write this part i promise i tried and it just did not work)–

"It- it was a long time ago," Varian sputtered, nervously running a hand through his hair. "I was fourteen. Not that that's an excuse for what I did, but—"

"No, right, teenagers." Hugo smirked and elbowed Varian. "I was worried you, like, killed your dad or something."

Varian nervously chuckled. "Hah, yeah, um..." He scratched the back of his neck, debating on whether or not he should tell him about the whole amber situation. "That's kinda how it all started."

Hugo gave him a bizarre look and Varian quickly realized how poor his phrasing was. "No, not– I didn't kill my dad! That was really bad phrasing, I’m sorry— Um... basically, there were these magic rocks, I experimented on them, my dad... got encased in amber trying to save me from them, and when I asked Rapunzel to help, she couldn't because she was busy protecting her kingdom from a deadly blizzard." Varian looked down, fidgeting with his hands. "Back then, I just took it as a betrayal instead of, y'know, a princess taking on the role of Queen for a day and prioritizing her kingdom over some kid.”

Hugo hummed. “Is that why you hate snow?”

“I mean, I don’t hate it, but… yeah.” Varian rubbed the back of his neck. “Just brings up bad memories. That image of my dad…”

They fell into silence. Hugo fidgeted with his gloves, Varian chewed his lip. He wondered how their relationship managed to get to this point. Varian swore he wouldn’t tell anyone about his insane criminal record. He wanted a fresh start, one with new people who didn’t know all the jumbled details of his past. Why had he told Hugo? Was it because he’d also committed his fair share of crimes? Was he just that desperate to talk about it to someone?

Varian sighed and leaned back against the house. "All I really wanted was to make my dad proud," he said quietly, messing with the bandana around his neck. "I don't know what part of kidnapping the queen, trying to destroy the princess, and helping the Separatists overthrow the kingdom screams 'proud', but... what do I know?"

Hugo put a hand on his shoulder. "Goggles, that was a long time ago," he said softly. Varian’s mind quieted at the blond’s gentle voice. "You were goin’ through a lot."

"That doesn't excuse what I did. If not for Rapunzel, I..." Varian looked up at the stars, feeling his eyes starting to get a little watery. "I don't know who I'd even be. I don't think anyone would’ve forgiven me. I still don't understand how they did, how- how she did.”

Hugo scooted a little closer so their shoulders were touching. “I mean, people change. I used to think that was total bullshit, but…” He shrugged and gestured to Varian. “Clearly it’s not.”

“Right,” Varian muttered. “It’s just… how did she look at me and see someone worth redeeming?” Hugo’s facial expression softened. Varian continued. “I-I overthrew her kingdom, almost killed all her friends, almost killed her—I kidnapped and threatened her mom, for fuck’s sake!” Varian dropped his face into his hands. “Why would she forgive me after all that?”

Hugo was a little surprised at the sudden outburst, but he just shrugged. “She sounds like a good princess. Some people are just… freakishly nice.” He gently nudged Varian, prompting him to lift his head. “Like you.”

A little smile crept back onto the alchemist’s face before he looked back down and it faded. “I just… I don’t know what she saw in me. Back then, after my dad got encased, I was all just…” He vaguely waved his hand around. “Emotions. When I realized she couldn’t help me—which was after I’d already kidnapped her mom—I just turned my anger on her, like she broke her promise on purpose, like- like it was all her fault.” He brought his knees up to his chest. “Which it absolutely wasn’t. The whole mess was my fault, I’m the reason my dad got trapped, but instead of just coming to terms with that, I… I turned my guilt into hatred. Towards Rapunzel. Which makes no sense at all.”

“...I get it,” Hugo said quietly. He sounded strangely sincere. Varian looked at him. “It’s easy to hate someone when you’re filled with all those gross feelings ‘cause of your own guilt.”

You don’t think I’m a terrible person? Varian wanted to say. You understand? “Weirdly philosophical, again,” he mumbled instead.

Hugo let out a little breathless laugh and looked out at the forest. “I’ve never been good with emotions. I doubt an unstable fourteen year old would be any better with them. Especially someone like you,” he added with a nudge to Varian's side.

Varian scoffed, but there was the edge of a smile on his face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

–(aahgehrgeudgr idk)–

“I just hate that it’s still so there. It’s been years, and yet I still feel like a horrible person every time I’m reminded of everything.” He looked down at his hands, remembering the cuffs around his wrists, the whole kingdom being terrified of him. “Everyone tells me I’m not, and that they’re proud of me for changing, growing, improving, and I’m grateful for that, but I…” He tilted his head back against the wall, not quite registering how close he was to resting his head on Hugo’s shoulder. “I don’t feel like I’ve changed. I still feel so out of place. Like I’m a terrible person dressed up as this great, new-and-improved Royal Engineer, just… deceiving everyone into thinking I’m some amazing person when really…” he trailed off with a sigh.

"Goggles, you’re not..." Hugo realized the words that were about to come out of his mouth. He shook his head with a little chuckle. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but… you really are an incredible person." Varian looked at him with wide eyes. "I mean, I haven't even known you that long, and… you kinda changed my life." He glanced over at the alchemist, trying to ignore the way his face was heating up. "You changed me."

Varian stared at him, bewildered. “I-I… I did?”

Hugo looked down at the grass, fidgeting with the goggles around his neck. “I was raised to think friends and trust are a waste of time. That all they get you is sticky situations, hurt pride, whatever. But… after meeting you…” He chewed his lip and exhaled, Donella’s voice filling his head, telling him not to waste his time, to stay focused on the mission, keep his distance. He pushed it away, focusing instead on Varian’s warmth, the feel of the alchemist’s shoulder against his own. “Something about you changed the way I think. Y’know, regarding ‘friends’ and… all that.” He glanced over at Varian and his face felt hot. “You made me a better person, Varian.”

Varian stared at him for a few moments, looking truly dumbfounded—he said Varian!—before his face lit up in an uncontrollable smile. Hugo couldn’t help but smile back, the weird feeling in his stomach and the way his heart seemed to stutter catching him off-guard.

“So, you’re saying you care about me?” Varian said smugly, his smile turning to a sly grin.

Hugo laughed and elbowed the alchemist. “Okay, let’s not deduce it to that.”

Varian’s smile came back even wider and Hugo’s heart stuttered again, his face flushing. Why did this only happen around Varian? Only when he looked at his infectious smile, his pretty blue eyes, listened to his voice– was this normal? Was this usually what having friends felt like? Why was it always so hard not to smile around him? Why did his heart start racing, his face flush, he felt weirdly nervous, he got butterflies, he struggled to look away—

Oh fuck.

Hugo swallowed, his face growing hotter as he realized just how much he’d broken Donella’s rules with Varian. He felt so okay with him. It was like his problems disappeared for a bit, temporarily shoved and buried in the back of his head. It was hard to think negative thoughts when Varian looked at him like that—when he looked at Varian, at his pretty eyes and his crooked smile and his buck teeth and his freckles and his lips—

His lips—

Hugo froze.

Oh, fuck.

— (varian pov for funsies idk) —

Hugo glanced over at him, his face a little red. “You made me a better person, Varian.”

Oh.

Varian’s heart skipped a beat, his face flushing. He said Varian. He actually said Varian. His name sounded so nice in his voice.

You made me a better person, Varian.

Varian swallowed and noted how his heart was racing. How his face felt hot, how it was hard not to smile when Hugo was looking at him like that with his emerald eyes and that pretty smile, how there were butterflies in his stomach. There were butterflies in his stomach.

His face was flushing and his heart was racing and he had butterflies—all because of Hugo.

Oh.

Hugo smiled at him and he looked so genuine and real and Varian’s heart stuttered again and fuck, Cass was right. Cass was so insanely right.

[arttsuka]

you should draw fiddleford in some other outfits☺️☺️😋😋😋 (this isn’t a coverup to make my fidd obsession sweet… I swear…)

Here he is with a funky outfit :)

And here he is wearing a straight jacket (from an uncooked au I have in my mind, don't ask)

[bytewire]

Are Architects Smarter than Humans?

The way AL-AN talks mixed with the fact that Architects are more technologically progressed than humans in the Subnautica universe leads him to seeming ‘smarter’ than the average human. He has a wide range of knowledge and despite his lack of experience with human social cues he is able to articulate himself extremely well. He also has access to tons of information due to his prior position as a scientist, but also because of what comes with existing as an Architect in the first place.

I mean, if your brain had direct access to all information available currently, you'd of course seem smart, but is that just you retelling what things have already been discovered or is this you being ‘smart’?

In that case you are only as smart as Google allows you to be (and the proverbial Architect GoogleTM is damn good). If you took an Architect never connected to the network and a human with no access to the internet how would they compare with their baseline intellect?

Wait a minute—what does that even solve? You could also argue the fact that because Architects are (usually) always connected to the network that this hypothetical is entirely unfair because it strips Architects of something that defines how they function. Being connected to the network is their normal existence, which would indeed imply that they are smarter than humans, yes? As they normally should have access to this advantage.

The average Architect has all the available knowledge that their species has learned available to it at all times while the average human has to rely only on things they’ve learned and how well they can research a certain topic. Again, being connected to the network for Architects is like if your brain was connected to Google and also literally everyone that currently exists and those that existed in the past. Just because a singular Architect may not have learned something for themselves doesn’t mean they can’t implement and use that knowledge. Just like how humans don’t need to have been the one to discover something for them to learn about and understand said thing.

Except then we go back to the issue of are they smart or do they just reiterate things they have available information on without actually having had studied or learned about said things? Even that fails to acknowledge the fact that they’re a hivemind! Trying to measure just one Architect is pointless when the only Architect mind that exists singularly from the rest of the network is AL-AN—besides he was never supposed to exist individually in the first place… and we have gone back around in a circle.

How could you even begin to compare the two species at all when they are so inherently different? Architects have senses that humans cannot begin to comprehend as we have never experienced them and vice versa. Their perceptions are very different from ours. Differences that make them seem so otherworldly to the other that it’s difficult to ascertain where you begin to measure which is ‘better’ and which is ’worse’.

To complicate things even further you would have to consider what each species considers to be intelligent at all, and then both would have to agree on these requirements. Is a fish lesser than a human just because it experiences existence in a way unfamiliar to us? What even is ‘smart’ or ‘intelligence’ and who decides what that means? It’s always going to be biased when the beings who created the definition also makes the rules and the criteria that must be met to fit that definition. An IQ test would mean nothing to a species that evolved under entirely different circumstances and whose minds work in entirely opposite ways to our own. Just as whatever they use to measure intelligence might not apply to how our brains work…

…Oh my god, it’s a loop that never ends. I can’t even remember which side I was arguing for, or if I was ever even arguing for one at all. Quite honestly, there’s no answer to my original question. I’ll be frank with you I cannot come up with one anyhow. I tried, but the more I kept writing the more I realized that each point contradicted itself again and again until we end up here. Back at the beginning.

“Are Architects Smarter than Humans?”