#time for a depression nap goodbye

[winter-kh-sideblog]

Axel from chain of memories is just so funny as a concept. I’m Obsessed with him

It’s like if the horrifying assassin sent to kill you was a minimum wage employee going through a divorce. And he didnt feel any guilt or apprehension about trying to kill you, (a random child LITERALLY just trying to find and hug your friends) but he Was lazy (depressed) as heck and hated his job. And trying to kill you faster so he could depression nap.

And his one source of joy was scaring the crap out of people and torturing them to death.

And ALSO he was a single dad struggling to work two jobs who loved his kids dearly but that did not make him a Better person or more likely to spare you .

The ONLY chance u have of survival comes down to whether or not he’s lazy enough to give up and depression nap.

The kids maybe make him More likely to stay and kill you because hes secretly worried he’s a bad father and he doesnt have to face up to Having Conversations About Feelings and Admitting He Cares About His Kids for however long hes scaring u.

He has stupid goth makeup with little clown looking teardrops under his eyes and a stupid catchphrase. He barely gets payed and has like no vacation days and is overworked because his company is stupidly short staffed and his ex husband is his manager and keeps sending him to assassinate his few remaining coworkers and hes too low in the company to argue and explain why this is a stupid idea. And management being like “ugh its like you dont even care about this job and you just wanna do the bare minimum and clock out. Now go kill your coworkers”

And ALSO its so funny because you dont know ANY of this

Imagine a scary horror clown man trying to murder you and you are About to die and then the horror clown’s alarm goes off and hes like “oh thank god its union mandated paid ten minute break. They CANNOT make me work in this time Fuck yeah goodbye loser” and he just Teleports across the room and is immediately on the phone like “babe STOP texting me . I DONT want you back. Maybe stop trying to kill our employees if youre so mad about us being short staffed. WAIT did you send me here to die. Was this a murder attempt. Hello?!?! HELLO?!??? DONT HANG UP ON ME?!??” And then he sighs and shrugs and starts reapplying glimmer eyeshadow until another alarm goes off and hea like “ewwwwwww work time.” And he stares at you like hed rather do anything in the world than resume your death fight. And then he stabs you with an on fire weapon and starts evil cackling with his full chest

Literally no one else will ever be him

[watchmegetobsessed]

LOVE AND TOUR

A/N: im so excited to post this fic bc *drum roll* it's a collab with @harrysfolklore !! the post tour depression is still kicking our butts so we decided to team up for a story that features LOT! hope you guys will like it and as always, make sure to head over to her blog to check out her fic that features all social media posts for this story!

WORD COUNT: 5.1k

SUMMARY: Y/N and Harry were once friends, but his career pulled them apart. Then in 2019 Harry decides to invite her to ONO London and so their story begins or more like continues.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

2010

The handmade banner hanging over the white board in the classroom is crooked and two balloons have popped already. The sign reads ‘Good luck, Harry!’ and every letter is a different color. The desks and chairs were pushed to the side to make room in the middle and the teacher’s desk is full of snacks and drinks the kids brought in for the little impromptu party the class decided to throw before Harry’s big day.

He is going to his big X Factor audition this weekend and though he is not convinced he will make it, everyone in school is rooting for him. If anyone deserves the success it’s Harry, the goofy, kind boy who makes everyone smile and always helps whenever he can.

The soon-to-be rockstar is mingling with his friends and classmates, music is playing in the background and the chatting is nonstop. Everyone keeps asking Harry if he’s nervous or ready or which judge he is afraid of the most. He tries his best to talk to everyone and be everywhere, though he keeps an eye on one specific girl.

Y/N has been staying in the back for most of the time, sipping on some soda, listening to her friend as he enjoys the spotlight. She’s been friends with Y/N for quite some time, they live just a street away from each other, they often bike to school together and whenever one of them is sick the other one can be expected to show up at their house with the homework.

Good friends. That’s what they are. But deep down, Y/N is definitely feeling more than just friendship towards the curly haired boy who is now set to step his foot on the road to fame.

When the party is over and everyone has headed home already, Harry and Y/N are the last ones to walk out of the school’s building.

“So, be honest, are you nervous?” she asks as they are walking home , pushing their bikes this time. Harry said he hurt his ankle at PE today so he better not get on the bike, but in reality… he is just trying to spend more time with Y/N. 

“Kind of, yeah,” he admits with a chuckle.

“I’m sure you will crush it.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” she smiles at him and his heart skips a beat. 

Harry has been trying to work up his courage to ask Y/N out since probably the sixth grade, but he just never got to the point. Now he tells himself that if he gets into X Factor she will see him in a different light and that’s when he should ask her out, but little does he know he doesn’t need to be in a talent show to have her like him enough to want him.

Reaching her house she wishes him good luck and even hugs him before he waves goodbye and continues his way home. Y/N stands by their front door and watches him get farther away, hoping that whatever happens that weekend won’t change their friendship.

2013

The tour bus is quiet, everyone is asleep. Everyone, except Harry. 

Lying in his bunk bed, his face is illuminated by his phone as he aimlessly scrolls on his social media apps, checking out posts by fans, reading news, just killing time. He knew he shouldn’t have had a nap earlier, because now it will be way too late by the time he can fall asleep and won’t be rested enough when they arrive in the next city. 

He opens up Instagram and goes through his feed, he posts a picture he took of the crowd at the show the other day and then watches the likes flood in like crazy. 

Going back to his feed he goes through his friends’ posts, it’s just the usual, parties, vacations, hanging out, everyone seems to be living their life even though Harry often feels like time has stopped since he’s gotten on the road. 

He can feel himself growing sleepier and he is just about to put his phone down when he comes across a post that wakes him up.

Y/N is not one to post often, she is not like most girls he knows who want to share every and any moment of their life. Last time she uploaded something was probably weeks ago. This time she was snapped in her graduation gown, her hair flowing in the movement flawlessly and he recognizes her parents’ home in the background. It totally slipped Harry’s mind that in a life he left behind graduation was happening these days. 

He scrolls down to the caption and all it says is “Soon” and then a crown emoji. It’s enough for him to know she’s going to King’s College London, that’s what she always dreamed about and it seems like she hasn’t changed her mind.

Before he could think about it, he double taps on the picture liking it, completely oblivious to how fans can see his activity and they instantly start guessing about who the girl is whose graduation photo was liked by Harry Styles.

2014

The screaming intensifies wherever Harry goes on the stage, he is jumping and shaking his long hair to the music while his bandmates are singing ‘Steal My Girl’ and the girls are going crazy, the energies are insane, Harry loves performing, this is truly his element. 

He’s been on the road for what feels like forever and if you asked him what day it was, he would have no idea. It’s a miracle he knows which city he is currently in.

Walking to the side of the stage he stops for a moment right before the bridge that’s his part. He lifts his mic to his lips and starts singing when the music dies down right before his lines.

“She knows, she knows, that I never let her down before…”

His voice fills up the stadium, thousands are singing together with him and he runs his gaze over the sea of people in front of him. He sees so many faces, some are even familiar, Harry tends to remember fans he sees over and over again at their concerts, but most of them are new. The song carries on and the boys start singing along with him, Harry is about to move back to the middle of the stage, but then he sees her.

He sees Y/N.

Or so he thinks. It’s hard to tell, because it’s dark and she is so far away from the stage, it could be just someone who resembles her, but something in his gut tells him it’s her. 

He does a double take, losing the familiar face for a moment but then he finds her again and a shiver runs down his spine. He hasn’t seen her in years, life has been simply way too hectic to keep in touch, last time he met her was probably in 2012 when he went home for Christmas, they ran into each other in town and promised to talk soon because they were both kind of in a hurry, but they never followed up with it. Y/N went to college, Harry’s career was skyrocketing, it was impossible to stay as close as they were before X Factor and Harry always regretted not trying harder, because now he has no idea what’s happening in her life. 

Niall walks up to him and pats him on the back and Harry’s focus shifts to his friend for just a moment, but it’s enough to not find her again when he looks back at the audience. Did she duck down? Walk out when she realized he was looking? Or did he just entirely imagine seeing her and it was just a mirage? 

He can’t get her out of his head for the rest of the show and he finds himself looking for her over and over again, but he doesn’t see her again and his consciousness starts to convince him she wasn’t even there. 

It was just a cruel trick his own mind played on him. 

2019

Why does he feel like he is sending out an invitation to the Queen of England? Why is he so nervous to hit send on an email? This is nothing Earth shattering, nothing will happen if he sends it out and life will go on even if she never replies.

One Night Only is set to happen in a few weeks and Harry is now sending out his invitations to his friends and family, he wants everyone who matters to be there on such a big night. Making the list was no hard task, but then he thought of inviting Y/N as well even though they haven’t talked in so long.

The other night, Harry found himself stalking her Instagram which he is still following. She has been posting once or twice a month, tiny glimpses into her life that doesn’t include Harry anymore.

But he wants to change that.

“Fuck it,” he mumbles under his breath and then adds her to the list of people who will get the invitation and then he just hits send and it’s officially out there. 

Harry is not necessarily one to get overly obsessive about something, but the next few days he finds himself checking his inbox every hour, scrolling through the new emails, looking for one particular address to show up, but he has to come to the conclusion every time that Y/N hasn’t answered. 

Days go by, Harry’s enthusiasm fades and by the end of the week he is convinced she won’t be there and soon he doesn’t even have time to think about it. 

One Night Only arrives to London in december. The venue fills up with excited and devoted fans, but no one is more nervous about tonight than Harry. 

He is ready, his band is ready, everything is perfectly in place, but he knows he won’t feel fully calm until he is on stage, performing to the people who gave him this amazing life. 

It all goes as planned, Fine Line is finally officially out there (it has been for about a week if we are being exact) and Harry couldn’t be happier. Coming off the stage he is still high on adrenaline, taking all the congratulations the crew and guests are giving him relentlessly. His smile is so wide, it’s starting to hurt his face, but it’s a pain he could happily deal with for the rest of his life.

He hugs his mum and sister, all his old friends, they do a group hug with the band and he is sure he has greeted everyone by now, but then he spots one specific figure in the back of the room.

At first he thinks he is just imagining it. That his mind is playing the same trick on him it did a few years ago when he thought he saw Y/N at one of their concerts. Blinking a couple of times he is ready to watch her disappear like a ghost, but as the seconds go by he realizes that she is truly there.

Y/N is standing across the room with a nervous smile, looking all grown up and most importantly fucking beautiful. Even though Harry has seen plenty of pictures of her from recent times, it’s still a shock to have her stand in the same room as him. 

His body moves before his brain could process it. His feet start to carry him towards her and before he even realizes he is running and when he finally reaches her he wraps her in his arms, twirling her around, making both of them laugh.

“You’re here!” he breathes out, still hugging her even when he has put her down.

“I am, you invited me!” she chuckles and they finally lean back enough to look at each other. 

“I know, but… you never replied, I didn’t think you’d come and… You are actually here,” he repeats.

“Sorry I didn’t reply, I wasn’t sure until the very last minute if I would come,” she admits nervously.

Harry’s invitation was all she could think about since the morning she got the email. It was more than unexpected, for a moment she even thought it was just some kind of prank, but it came from Harry's old email address, so she had to believe that it was genuine. She hesitated until probably a few days ago when she woke up one day and just knew that she had to be here tonight. 

“It’s okay,” he smiles at her softly, taking in her every feature. The girl he knew is still there, but she changed a lot, she looks so much more mature and her features have definitely gotten a lot more feminine. 

She looks gorgeous. 

Suddenly it all comes down on him clashing, all the questions, the feelings, he wants to know everything, but he fears they don’t have enough time.

“How long are you staying?” he then asks.

“I took a couple of days off, I’m staying for three more days.”

He sighs in relief. 

“Come on,” he smiles, his hand taking hers. “I want to know everything.”

“Everything?” she chuckles, ignoring the tingles wherever his hand is touching hers.

“Harry, don’t assault the poor girl! She almost didn’t come!” Gemma chimes in. Harry stops, his eyes snapping back and forth between Y/N and his sister.

“Wait, you knew she would be coming?” he asks Gemma, who is sipping on some champagne with a knowing smile. She shrugs.

“Yeah.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” he scoffs, hands on his hips. The sight makes Y/N laugh, because she can see his sixteen year-old self in the pose so vividly, it’s insane.

“You never asked,” Gemma says and walks away. Harry turns back to Y/N.

“She messaged me if I got your invitation,” she admits. 

“So you’re telling me, all I should have done is to send you a message and ask for confirmation?”

Y/N just chuckles, shrugging her shoulders innocently. Harry exhales as he shakes his head.

“Alright, now you truly have to tell me everything.”

2020

“Can you hear me?” Harry asks, as the FaceTime finally loads and Y/N’s pixelated face fills his phone’s screen. He leans back on his plush couch and he tries his best to ignore how fast his heart starts pounding in his chest when he hears her laugh.

“Yeah, I can hear you,” she answers and it seems like she just sat down somewhere too.

Struggling with the unstable connection they share how their day has been so far, though Harry has been up just for a few hours while Y/N’s is almost over. The time difference has been making it hard for them to keep in touch, but Harry has learned his lesson and he bends his schedule around these talks, because there’s no way he would waste even a moment he could spend talking to her.

ONO and the days that followed changed everything. It didn’t take long for Harry to realize that his boyish crush is still very much present and after seeing her it quickly evolved into something more mature. Seemingly, Y/N has been sharing these feelings, because it appears she enjoys spending time with Harry in any way possible just as much as he does. 

It took them quite some time to catch up and it feels like they still haven’t shared everything they missed in each other’s life in the past years, but they know they have all the time they need, even if the circumstances might not always be the best. They are both trying their best.

There’s a comfortable silence in their call where both of them are just staring at each other through the screen. The unsaid things have been hanging there between them, they know it’s more than just their old friendship rekindled, but saying the words out through a FaceTime call wouldn’t be right.

“I miss you,” Harry finds himself mumbling the words, kind of to himself, but she hears the words.

“I miss you too,” she replies, biting her lip as she adjusts the phone in her hands.

“Can I… Can I see you before I go on tour?”

“That’s like… in three weeks,” she chuckles.

“I know. But I want to see you.”

“I don’t know, I have a regular, mundane job, I’m not an international rockstar who can just travel whenever it’s convenient,” she reminds him jokingly.

“Okay, then let me visit you.”

“You’re way too busy to come here.”

“I’m never too busy for you.”

She gasps at his words, the pink clouds so thick around her mind it’s almost sickening. If only she could reach out and through the screen…

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow and if you still think the same, we can… figure something out,” she smiles shyly. Harry knows he’ll feel the same tomorrow and the day after and forever. So he just smiles and nods.

They chat some more until Harry has to leave. Unwillingly, but they end the call and return to their separate lives.

Y/N stays on her couch, her phone still in her hands and Harry on her mind. Her TV is on, but it’s been muted, the screen is the only thing illuminating her in the dark room. With a tired sigh she reaches for the remote and turns the volume back on.

The news are on. She stands from the couch and starts cleaning up, not even listening to what they are talking about on the screen.

“... therefore COVID-19 has been officially declared a pandemic. WHO warns everyone to wear a mask in all public places, countries with a high number of cases are urgently discussing what other safety measures should…”

Y/N is questioning her sanity. She has been for the past week that was spent packing her suitcase, she took three covid tests in the last two days and now she is about to board a private jet at an airport that’s scarily empty. The last part shouldn’t be surprising, the whole world is under lockdown because of the pandemic, Y/N has spent her last month isolated in her apartment, right until one day Harry begged her to fly over to him.

“Y/N, please. I will settle everything, I’ll send a private jet for you, pay for it all, just please… please come here and be with me!”

There’s probably nothing she can deny from him. So here she is, escorted onto a private jet by an airport worker, they are both wearing their masks, just like everyone she has seen in the past week preparing for her travel.

Just as she settles in her seat on the jet, her phone buzzes from a text.

HARRY: Everything alright? Are you boarding already?

With a smile hidden under her mask she types her reply.

Y/N: On the plane, we’re taking off in 10.

HARRY: I can’t wait to see you.

Last time she traveled overseas was for a vacation years ago. She flew commercial then and it felt like hell, wedged between an obnoxious little boy and a middle aged woman who complained about everything. Now it’s just her and literally one single stewardess who is there to serve her. It’s a whole different experience for sure. 

Luckily, the journey feels a lot shorter when she’s comfortable, she can get up anytime and eat excellent food instead of some weird frozen meal on a plastic plate. By the time the jet touches down she feels rested and most importantly excited to see Harry again. It feels like forever when they had to say goodbye in december and in all honesty, it took them way longer to reunite, but it’s all because of the pandemic. It’s late april now, they were planning to meet about a month ago originally at the end of march before his tour was set to kick off. By now he was supposed to be on the road through Europe, but instead, he has been under lockdown just like the rest of the world.

She walks through LAX as if it was zombie land, it’s so eerily empty she is expecting zombies to round the corner any minute, but it never happens. She reaches the car waiting for her, the driver loads her begs to the trunk and then they are off to Harry’s place. 

It’s her first time at Harry’s LA home, and naturally it still baffles her to see where he’s gotten from his old life in Holmes Chapel, one that included her.

But his life includes her now as well, she reminds herself just as the car rolls up the long driveway. Getting out of the car she is about to grab her suitcases from the back of the car when the front door flies open and Harry sprints out. Literally.

He is running towards her with such speed, she almost gets knocked over when he finally reaches her and locks her in his arms, twirling around in the air.

“You’re here!” he breathes out, making her laugh.

“Were you not expecting me?” she teases him when he finally puts her down, but his arms remain around her.

“It’s just… I’m so happy to see you,” he smiles widely, taking her in. She hasn’t changed much since December, maybe her hair has gotten a little longer, but she looks the same.

However their feelings are nowhere near the same.

He thanks the driver and then grabs all her bags, urging her to come inside. Y/N wanders further into his home exploring it right away, already migrating towards the pool outside. Harry sets her luggage down in the hallway and walks after her, watching her stop by the sliding doors, admiring the enormous backyard. She turns around and catches him staring.

“What?” she asks, nervously laughing.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head. “I’m just really happy you’re here.”

2021

He’s nervous. There’s no use in denying, anyone could see it. But no one can blame him, it’s been so long since he last stood on a stage, he’s afraid he lost his groove, though the people who know him beg to differ. 

Washing his teeth in his fluffy robe he is eyeing his outfit for tonight that’s hanging in the corner. He knows his fans will love it, the color pink alone would make them go feral, but the sparkly vest with no top underneath will be surely like they won the jackpot. 

He spits and rinses his mouth just when there’s a soft knock on the door and just by the rhythm of it he knows who it is.

“Come in!” he calls out, wiping his mouth with a towel just when Y/N pokes her head inside, her body following a second later. 

“Hey,” she smiles shyly, taking him in for a second as he moves around the room.

“Told you, you don’t have to knock when you come in,” he chuckles.

“But, what if you’re… naked or something?”

He stops and stares back at her, giving her an ‘Are you kidding me?’ look that gets her all flustered in an instant so he decides to take it even further.

“Nothing you haven’t seen, baby. In fact, you can see it right now if you wanted to.” He starts untying his robe, but she stops him laughing and taking the opportunity of having her so close now he wraps her in his arms and kisses her.

It never gets old. The feeling he gets whenever he gets to kiss her, whether it’s a good morning kiss right after he wakes up, or a tired kiss at the end of the day, a needy kiss when he just wants her more than anything or a make-up kiss after a fight, which doesn’t happen often. He can count it on one hand how many times they got into an argument since they’ve become an item in April 2020, when Y/N spent most of the lockdown with Harry. Originally, she planned to stay only for a couple of weeks, but she didn’t return home until the start of June and she was back by July.

Now it’s September 2021, so it’s been almost one and a half years since then and they are still just as in love as they were during lockdown.

“You’re nervous,” she mumbles against his lips and it’s not a question. She knows him, all of his looks, his movements, she knows what he thinks about most of the time if not always, she can read him like a book.

Harry hums and just goes in for another kiss.

“You’ll be amazing, don’t worry,” she smiles at him, patting his chest as she pulls back. “And even if you make a mistake, the pink sparkles will distract everyone,” she jokes, nodding towards his outfit.

“You’ll be out there?”

“Of course. I’ll be the one screaming the loudest.”

“As loud as last night?” The cheeky grin that stretches across his face is proof that he is not that nervous if he can make dirty jokes.

“Shut up or I’m going home,” she laughs, poking a finger into his chest teasingly. He grabs her finger and pulls her back for another kiss.

“Nope, you’re stuck here. With me,” he smirks, lips coming over hers again.

2023

The bittersweet feeling has been lingering around the crew not just all day, but probably for a week now. Everyone knew that the end was coming and now that the final show is officially here, the emotions are overflowing. Everything they are doing, they are doing it for the last time on Love On Tour. It’s the last stage, the last sound check, last time Wet Leg takes the stage before Harry and it’s the last time Y/N is sitting in his dressing room, watching him put on his outfit of the night.

She can sense that he is different than he usually is before a show, he seems antsy and his eyebrows have been furrowed probably since lunch. Y/N watches him pace the floor back and forth in his sparkly outfit, nervously fixing the wire behind his neck even though it’s exactly in the same spot it usually is.

“Do you want me to help?” she asks and Harry stops in his tracks, as if he just realized what he’s been doing. His hands fall by his side as he exhales sharply.

“Sorry, just… fidgeting.”

Y/N stands from the couch and walking over she absentmindedly fixes his fringed vest, planting her palms onto his chest gently.

“It’s okay to be sad, H,” she reminds him. Harry tends to hide his big, sad feelings, because he feels like it would bother others. He is always so considerate about dealing with everyone else’s feelings, but this time his emotions should be in focus as well.

“I don’t want to be sad, that’s the thing. It was a great experience, sadness should not be a thing when I think of Love On Tour.”

“But that’s why it’s okay to be sad. Because this amazing experience is ending and it’s natural that you’re mourning it. It lasted, what? Like almost two years? And if we count in the planning, this tour has been part of your life since 2019. That was four years ago, no one expects you to just let go of it laughing.”

Harry nods, his arms snaking around her waist as he pulls her into his embrace, needing to feel her close in this overwhelming moment. She’s been his anchor, the person he could turn to no matter what during this insanely long tour, he’s convinced he couldn’t have done it all without her. 

Not even Harry can slow time down, so the moment to step onto the stage for the last time in this tour finally comes. Y/N stands with his family and friends at the side, holding Anne’s hands whenever an emotional song is played by him. He puts one thousand percent into it, just like every time on this tour and Y/N’s chest swells with pride when she realizes that it’s one hundred thousand people screaming at her lover.

Or fiancé, to be exact. 

When Harry sings Falling, to his fans’ surprise, she notices him looking for her in the crowd. The song is melancholic and it was written about a time he felt at his lowest, but to look in his eyes tells it all to Y/N.

He is not there anymore, because he has her. 

She’s twisting her diamond ring around her finger as tears dwell in her eyes while she sings along to the song, hoping that her expression tells him too, that she is happy to be the person who brought light into his life, because he did the same to her.

Then the time comes for Harry’s thank you speech and no eye is left dry after his words. Y/N has to swallow back her sobs when he turns to her and addresses his words straight to her.

“My love, thank you for everything, you were such a big part of this journey and I hope that our journey will continue forever.”

The fans are screaming, phones are pointed at her, recording her reaction as she just nods eagerly, one hand covering her wobbling lips. 

For his final piano piece Y/N moves backstage to watch him from there and be there when he walks off the stage for the very last time in the history of Love On Tour. She is standing there with the proudest and most emotional expression on her face when Harry jumps down the steps and he smashes into her arms right away, burying his face into the crook of her neck. She can feel his tears against her skin and she gently keeps combing her hand through his hair, giving him as much time to recover as he needs. 

When he finally lifts his head his eyes are glassy, but there’s a smile on his lips.

“You did amazing,” Y/N tells him, gently wiping his cheeks with her hands.

“And you did too,” he says and his words make her laugh.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You did the absolute most, Y/N. You gave me your love and support and I couldn’t have done it without those.”

Her heart melts as she pushes up to her tiptoes, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

“You’ll forever have those. You’ll forever have me.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[zmbiesuga]

I literally jumped with joy when you fallowed me back omg ily sm. So I was at the doctors and my doctor told me how he proposed to his wife and it was so sweet. He said he was stressed from finals and he had like a dream that his wife died and he dreamed of everything he couldn’t do with her. So when he woke up it was like 2 in the morning and he ran to his room to get the ring he had. He had it for two whole like years but ran to her dorm and begged her to say yes because he couldn’t wait. Could you write a fic of kuroo doing that with his boyfriend?

JUMP THEN FALL — k. tetsuro x m!reader

sypnosis: kuroo has always known that he wanted to marry you, and he's always said that he'll do it when he knows it's right. what's more perfect than asking after he had a dream about you dying?

warnings: mentions of death (nothing too graphic but still), kuroo being a fucking loser dork but i adore him so it's fine <3, fluff, happy ending!, angst if you squint really really hard, kuroo and reader are in their last year of college in this one, but i'm not in college yet so idfk how it works but i'll pretend i do!! use of the petnames 'babe' and 'baby'

notes: okay i'm so so sorry this took so long, i had a really bad depressive episode, i hope you like it, this request is really cute and i had a lot of fun writing it :D and two, that is so nice of you to say omg :( of course i followed you back, you always send me requests, you interact with my stuff a lot and you're just really nice so thank you for that <3

Kuroo has always wanted to marry you, it's the one thing he's been sure of in his entire life.

When you bring up marriage to him, however, he just tells you to "be patient" and that he'll "do it when he knows it's right" which constantly keeps you on your toes in case your dork of a boyfriend decides that the "right time" is during one of your lectures or at any inappropriate time really.

It kept Kuroo on his toes too, because what you don't know is that in the far-right corner of his sock drawer holds a small velvet box with a beautiful band inside of it. Every day he can feel his hand graze over the box, thinking to himself, maybe now is the right time.

But then he shakes his head, and decides it isn't.

And besides, as much as Kuroo loves you, he has finals to worry about. And they're really kicking his ass.

Although most people would peg Kuroo as the focused studious type (which he tried so desperately to be), the truth was that he tried so hard to procrastinate as much as possible. However, was it really procrastination if he needs the sleep?

When it was to avoid studying for finals, yes it was.

"Kuroo, sleeping to avoid studying for finals is not something you should do," your voice rippled out through the speaker of his phone, "especially if it's every single time you have them."

"Babe, you are the one who is constantly nagging me to sleep more," he rebutted, that stupid cocky tone he always had lingering in the back of his throat ever present, "I'm finally listening to you, I think you should take that as a win."

"Kuroo," your voice cracked again through that shoddy android speaker again, a certain firmness to it this time, "please promise me that you'll study, you're gonna hate yourself if you don't."

"Baby, I promise you I will, you know my word to you is good," he replied, you could hear that fucking cocky grin etching itself onto his face, "right after my little nap. I love you; I'll talk to you soon."

After you too bid your goodbyes, Kuroo made himself as comfortable on that dorm room mattress as he could, until his eyes got heavy, and he drifted off to sleep.

Kuroo could have sworn it was real.

The chase, your blood curdling scream, the way his stomach dropped to the soles of his feet when he realized he was too late.

It wasn't until he shot up in bed with that same nauseous feeling sitting in his chest as his breath came out panicked and labored had he realized it was nothing but a fucked-up dream.

Kuroo had never been so happy to wake up.

Slowly, but surely, he had calmed himself down. His breath returning to normal as the nauseous feeling in his chest disappeared, what didn't disappear, however, was that he didn't want to live life without you. He didn't want to graduate without you beside him, he didn't want to start a company without you there cheering him on along the way, and he sure as hell didn't want to imagine having a family with anyone else that wasn't you. Life was too short for hesitation, it was too short for his hesitation.

He quickly rushed out of bed, pulling an old hoodie over his torso, slipping on his shoes, and rifling through his drawer to grab that velvet box that had been sitting there for two years, begging to be let free.

Luckily for him, your dorm wasn't far from his. He hadn't even bothered to check the time on his phone, where the light flashed a large: 2:03 A.M. at him, he didn't care if his frantic speed walking down the hallway woke up everyone on that floor, he was only worried about getting to you.

When he got to your dorm, he rapped his fist against the door so hard he could've sworn that his knuckles would crack open. The door opened to a very annoyed you, but he didn't care if he interrupted your sleep, or your studying, he was just so elated to see you in front of him.

"Kuroo, what the hell?" you seethed, "It's two in the morning, what on earth —"

You were quickly cut off by Kuroo dropping to one knee in the doorway of your dorm room, pulling out that velvet box in all its glory, revealing that beautiful band you had mentioned liking to him once, you couldn't control the way your mouth slightly dropped in confusion, a wave of emotions hitting you like a tsunami.

"(Y/n), please, just listen to me," he blurted out in an almost pleading tone, "I've always wanted to wait until the right moment to ask you this, but recently, I've realized that the right moment was in front of me the entire time."

You tried to get a word in, but Kuroo's word vomit was faster.

"(Y/n), I've realized there is so much I want to do with you, so much that I can't do without you," he said, you swore you could see the tears well in the corner of his eyes, "everything from this point forward is useless if I can't do it with you by my side, so I'm begging you, even though it's two a.m. and we're both in our pajamas with messy hair and dark circles under our eyes, will you make me the happiest man alive, and marry me?"

It was your turn to be stunned, you stared down at your boyf — fiancée, in front of you with stained sweatpants and an old Nekoma sweatshirt barely big enough to cover his torso asking you to marry him at two in the morning.

You stayed quiet for so long, it scared Kuroo. Maybe this wasn't the right time, you two were still in college, this was all so sudden, so impulsive, he should have waited, he should have —

All these thoughts were expelled from his head as he felt your body weight push against his, squeezing him so tight in an embrace that he could barely breath.

"Yes," you whispered against the side of his neck, he could feel the tears from your eyes splashing there as well, "oh my god Kuroo, yes, a million times over."

He smiled softly at you, resting his own head against your shoulder as you held him in your arms. If this is what the rest of his life looked like, then god was he excited for it.

[heartsforvin]

vinnies crying alone in his room yn walks in and hes all secretive but opena up at the end and cries in her arms,

feeling kinda sad rn and want to comfort someone <33

HERE FOR YOU

he looks so cute here 🥹 i hope you enjoy ! thank you for the request !! <3

pairing; vinnie hacker x fem!reader

warnings; mentions of depression, cussing, use of pet names (baby, princess , etc), lmk if i missed anything !!

summary; you walk in on vinnie crying and he tries to hide it, but you won’t let that slide

recently you’ve noticed vinnie has been distant, distant from you, his friends, and even his passions.

you thought he’s been doing better with his depression, although you knew that it never fully goes away.

you’ve given him space, more than enough space at that. you knew he needed his time to deal with whatever it was he’s dealing with, but at the end of the day the two of you are a team.

you don’t keep things from him, and he doesn’t keep things from you. if either of you have an issue with anything, it’s always talked about and resolved.

waking into your shared room with vinnie, you greet him with a kiss on his cheek before you head to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

“i’m gonna be out most of the day, got a lot of stuff to do. will you be okay here?” you shout from the bathroom.

vinnie nods but remembers you can’t see him. “yeah, i’ll be fine.” he replies, you can tell his tone isn’t his usual happy tone he has.

you finish up in the bathroom and walk back into the bedroom, sitting down on the bed beside vinnie.

wrapping your arms around him, you rest your head on his shoulder as you grab his hand in yours. “call me if you need anything, and i mean it, vin. you have hera too to keep you company.” you tell him.

with one last final kiss goodbye, you tell vinnie you’ll see him in a bit and then head out of the apartment.

✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡˚.

hours later you arrive back at your apartment ready for a nap. after closing the door, taking off your shoes and setting your other things down, you make your way to the bedroom.

you don’t hear anything coming from the other side of the door so you think it’s okay to go in, opening the door, you see vinnie cuddled up with hera.

walking closer to him, you realize he’s crying. vinnie shoots his head up as he hears a noise, both of your eyes meet and he instantly pulls his attention away from you.

“vinnie,” you whisper as you make your way to the bed. “baby, look at me.” you tell him softly, not wanting to upset him.

the boy mumbles and scoots away from you, frustrating you a bit. you give him a minute to calm down, you hear him sniffle and watch as he wipes his eyes.

finally, he turns his body to look at you. when he does, he can’t help but break down and cry in your arms.

you wrap your arms around him and rub his back in a calming manner. “shh, i’m here vin, it’s okay.” you reassure him.

you stay where you are as you let your boyfriend let all his emotions out. you plant soft kisses on his temple as you continue to rub his back.

after a few minutes, vinnie finally calms down and tells you what’s been going on and why he’s been so quiet and distant for as long as he has.

once you let him explain you hug him as tight as you can and tell him you’re always going to be here for him and that he can tell you anything.

“i’m here for you, you know that?” you ask, and vinnie nods with a smile.

“i know, thank you.” he replies, pulling you into another hug.

hera joins the two of you and vinnie grabs her and squeezes her in a hug as well, kissing her head.

he looks between you and the cat with a wide smile spread across his face. “i love you both so much.”

you smile and grab his hand and kiss his knuckles. “we love you just as much, vin.”

hiii i’m sorry this took so long to get out, ive been unmotivated to write recently <\3 i liked how this turned out tho and i hope you do too <33

taglist; @lyndys , @cosmicanakin , @slvthrs , @bernelflo , @kriissy4gov , @laylasbunbunny , @lovingsturniolo , @kayleiggh , @Camiiherring , @leqonsluv3r , @hallecarey1

[queenimmadolla]

How is the family gonna be when one of the kids go to college? Pennverse

I’m imagining Penny in the scenario, because she’s the oldest so she’d be the first to reach college age.

It’d be a change. She’d definitely want to have the college experience, maybe dorm for a couple of years before renting a place, so it’s kind of her saying goodbye to living under the same roof with them all (of course she’ll visit, and come home for vacations/breaks, etc) and her room will always be there but her going to college is her officially leaving the nest. It’s obviously depressing as hell for her parents, especially Eddie. He loves all of his kids equally, but it really hits him hard when Penny leaves because she was his first baby, and her going off to college is also his first like bucket of ice water over him—it’s the first time he truly realizes his babies are going to leave him one day.

Sure, they’ll call, come back to visit, and all that fun stuff, but they will never truly all live under his roof at the same time like they have again. The same baby girl who wouldn’t go down for her naps during the day or sleep through the night, leaving him a little delirious, isn’t going to be around the house all the time. And that wrecks him.

Wayne is about the same, Penny has quite literally been around his whole life so—and despite their fighting—to suddenly not have her around is a change he has a difficult time coping with. It’s not like they hang out ALL the time, but her presence is gone and he doesn’t like that.

Maple wouldn’t hide her disdain for it, she’d bawl as soon as she finds out Penny’s going to go away, cries in the weeks/days leading up to it, and continues to do so even when she leaves. But since she’s the youngest one, she bounces back faster. Bugs the shit out of Penny though, has her cell phone number memorized and uses it as she wishes, whenever she wants for whatever she wants. She’s got a question she thinks Penny knows the answer to at like 8pm? Hope Penny isn’t in the bathroom or doing anything important/fun because Maple is gonna call her and she won’t stop redialing until Penny answers the phone.

Reader is almost as bad as Eddie, because HELLO YOU JUST LOST YOUR FIRST LITTLE BESTIE AND MINI ME!!!!! But reader would still have two kids in the nest, so while her heart aches, she’s got those two who help soothe it. By the time Maple is off and doing whatever (not going to college, that’s for sure), Reader is ready to have her sanity back, so while you’re sad to have an empty nest, you’re still relatively young and hot and so is Eddie. The two of you would definitely find things to do with the time and empty space lol.

[absurdthirst]

The Baby Blues {Marcus Pike x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 10.1k

Warnings: Postpartum depression, feelings of failure, anger, miscommunication, avoidance, words spoken in anger, angst, tears, oral sex (female receiving), vaginal sex, making up

Comments: Marcus Pike finally has it all; a wife that he loves, a beautiful baby girl, but it isn't the fairy tale life he imagined. He's over his head and all he wants is to fix things. But before they can get better they have to get worse, right?

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Marcus Pike MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

Marcus rubs his cheek, glancing down at his cell phone, your beautiful face popping up on the screen. The professional photos you took just after you gave birth to his daughter were perfect and he decided to use them as his home screen and your contact photo. He finally has what he always wanted: a family. A gorgeous wife and a beautiful daughter complete him but when he sees your call, he feels so guilty because he doesn't want to answer. It takes him a while but he eventually answers that call. "Hey baby." He musters up a lighter tone, immediately wincing at the crying baby in the background. 

"Hey. Can you pick up some formula on your way home?" You ask, not greeting him lovingly, just getting straight to business.

Marcus grunts and it annoys you. You ask for one simple thing and he has to mull it over like he’s deciding on a new car. Your head throbs when the baby screams again, making tears spring up in your eyes and again you feel like the worst mother ever. “Never mind.” You blow out, your tone annoyed. “I’ll just order some to be delivered.” You reach for your crying daughter and pick her up, jostling her slightly in your arms to try to soothe her. “Let me guess, you’re working late again?”

Marcus sighs, knowing he should go home but he has found himself "working late" a lot since Grace was born. It's been difficult. You've struggled and he knows he could help you more but the luster of getting what he always wanted has worn off. With a grunt, he faces reality, knowing he needs to go home and see his family.

You huff when he doesn’t speak. “Wow.” You give an unamused chuckle and shake your head, the baby fussing and crying even louder. “You can’t even give me an answer?” Your nerves are frayed, you’re exhausted and you need Grace to go down for a nap so you can take a shower by yourself for once this week. “I’ve got to go.” You hang up your phone without saying goodbye, annoyed that the man that had promised you the moon couldn’t even talk to you anymore.

Marcus feels guilty, of course he does, but he also feels exhausted. Both physically and emotionally. This isn’t what he imagined when he dreamed about having a family. He knew it would be hard but this is more than he can handle. He’s completely lost you. You are always tired and upset at him. He misses his wife. You are always pissed at him and at first he figured you were a new mom and he tried to help but you pushed him away.

****

Closing the door on the nursery, you sigh. It took two hours to get the baby down for a nap. Now you have to order formula and diapers, because you discovered Marcus bought three wrong sizes last time. You feel overwhelmed, all of the house and the baby’s needs falling on you. It seems that Marcus comes home only to sleep, and while you wanted to be a stay at home mom for the first few years, you hadn’t expected to feel so alone. He didn’t help with anything anymore. You almost cried when you woke up and he had left his coffee mug in the sink - dirty - on clean bottles.

Marcus is at a loss. He wants to fix this. Wants you to be happy and healthy and he can’t keep working late. He’s already months ahead on paperwork and he’s running out of things to do. He has to go home and talk this out with you. He pulls onto the driveway, cutting the engine and inhaling deeply, knowing he has to go inside and face the music. He opens the front door, listening for where you are. “Baby. I’m home.” He announces.

You groan quietly. After starting a load of clothes and the dishwasher, you had taken a shower. Wrapped up in your overly large towel, the urge to lay down for a few minutes was overwhelming, prompting you to not even get dressed. Sprawling on your bed, you stir, hearing Marcus but not waking up because the baby had kept waking up last night and he couldn’t sit with her because he had to work.

He walks into the bedroom to find you laying on the bed. The guilt threatens to overwhelm him again, the fact that you are exhausted and he just can't seem to help. When he hears Grace cry at night, he just lays there, listening to you get up while he pretends to be asleep. He doesn't know what is wrong with him but he just lets you do it. He should get up but after you told him he was feeding her incorrectly and didn't put her diaper on her tight enough, he gave up. He can't seem to do anything right. "Is, uh, is there anything to eat?" He asks, knowing he will probably have to order take out again.

Frowning, you open your eyes, blearily staring up at your husband. Is he fucking serious? “Hey honey, how was your day with the baby?” You asked sarcastically as you sit up and shuffle towards the edge of the bed. “I brought home the formula you asked for and I remembered that I bought the wrong diapers so I picked them up too.” Your conversation with yourself on what your husband should have said in a venomous tone. You roll your eyes and stand up, angry that for once he couldn’t just fucking do something to help you. “I’ll go make your goddamn dinner.” You snap before you stomp out of the room.

Marcus sighs, he's fucked up again. It's obvious that you hate him now and even doing the things you want, he can't seem to get them right. He follows you into the living room. "I didn't ask you to make my dinner. I just - I wondered if you had gotten anything or made anything because if not, I will order something in. I don't expect you to make my dinner. I just - fuck. Why is everything I do wrong?" He shouts, unable to stop himself.

You hiss when the baby squawks over the monitor, turning around and glaring at him while you wait a few moments to see if Grace is going to start crying. When she doesn’t, you shake your head. “I don’t know, Marcus. Why do you expect me to take care of everything around the house and everything to do with our daughter?” You ask, ready to shout yourself, but you can’t risk waking the baby up. “For someone who wanted a family so badly, you practically live at your office. The only conversation we’ve had this week is if I picked up the dry cleaning!”

Marcus shakes his head, slapping his hands on the kitchen counter in frustration. “I ask you if I can help and when I do, I end up getting the wrong thing or doing it wrong. I can’t do anything right and I- I’m so sick of it. You just - you want to be this wonder woman and do everything yourself and I don’t know how to handle that. I don’t know what you want from me.” He admits, choking up as he realizes he has failed but you haven’t let him help.

“I want you to try!” You cry out, pointing at the sink. “You helping is you not pouring your fucking coffee out on all the bottles I scrubbed while you were at work!” You sigh and shake your head. “I show you how to do something and you insist you know better and then Grace shits all the way up her back.”

Marcus knows he has made mistakes but so have you. Grace is your first child as well as his and neither of you had experience with babies before having her. “I- I don’t know what to do. It feels like there’s this big canyon between us and I can’t cross it. You won’t let me. You do everything yourself and won’t let me help so I learn how to do things. I don’t feel like your husband anymore, I feel like your roommate.”

“Maybe that’s because you are never here.” You huff. “This is the first time you’ve been home before dark in months.” It hurts that he doesn’t try, that he doesn’t even want you. “It’s not like you even want to be here.” You choke back a wave of emotions. “Day of my doctor’s appointment I fell asleep waiting for you to come home.”

Marcus frowns, wondering what you mean until he realizes that you mean your six week check up. “Shit.” He hisses, rubbing his cheek. “I’m so sorry.” He chokes, “I’m so sorry. I- it’s been so hard. I feel like I’ve lost you to Grace and I shouldn’t feel like that but I do and I- I don’t know how to fix us. Tell me what to do.”

“I don’t know.” You shouldn’t have to tell him. Things were so easy between you two before, even up until the birth. After his paternity leave was up is when the divide started. “It has to be what you want, not just what I tell you to do.”

Marcus is at a loss for several moments until it hits him. “I want us to go out on a date night. Just the two of us. Let my mom babysit Grace. We need some time for ourselves and to talk.” Marcus offers, needing to try and fix this.

You don’t want to go out, if you’re honest with yourself. You want to maybe soak in a bath with a bottle of wine and sleep for twelve hours, but you appreciate the fact that Marcus wants to spend time with you. Despite the fact that you are nervous about someone, anyone, watching your baby. You bite your lip and nod. “I- okay.” You agree hesitantly. “When do you want to go?”

“Tomorrow night. I already talked to my mom on the way home and she said she can come over anytime to babysit. She wants to spend time with her grandbaby. I want us to dress up and remember who we were.” Marcus tells you, determined to fix this. He never walks away and he won’t, he wants to be married to you, he wants to be a good father.

“Alright.” You nod and give a small sigh. “Let me put some clothes on and I’ll figure out dinner tonight.” You offer, feeling a little bad for snapping at him. “Maybe- if Grace wakes up, would you get her?”

Marcus nods, grateful that you are open to this. It makes him motivated to make this work. “I can, uh, I can order takeout. You want Chinese?” He offers, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He can see how exhausted you are and he wants to try and help.

“Sure.” Grace gives a whine through the monitor and you sigh. “I’ll change her while you order.” You turn and walk towards the bedroom, wishing you had at least ten minutes of sleep before Marcus had woken you up to basically fight.

Marcus makes quick work of ordering the food, knowing exactly what you want but he forgets those little spring rolls you like that you craved during your pregnancy. After ordering the food, he decides to change and relax a little, see if he can step in to help with Grace instead of you doing everything.

You coo to Grace, trying to keep her happy while you change her wet diaper and put a fresh one on her. “You want a bottle, pretty girl?” You try not to be frantic with her, not wanting to take your bad mood out on her. “Get you all fed, and daddy’s home. You get to see him.” You’re still in your towel, because getting to her is more important than dressing. You turn to see Marcus walk past you towards the bedroom and you sigh to yourself.

Marcus showers and changes, coming out of the bedroom to find you rocking Grace while still in your towel. “Come on baby, let me take her. Go get changed. The food will be here soon.” He offers, holding out his arms for his daughter. “I can feed her if you want.” He wants to try and make this work.

You transfer the baby to Marcus. “Make sure to test her bottle on your wrist, the microwave has been heating them a little too hot.” You advise him. “Heat it up for one minute and let it sit for about thirty seconds. And make sure you put a spit rag under her chin, she’s been spitting a lot of it up.”

He nods, carrying Grace to the kitchen so he can hold her in one arm and prepare her bottle. Pouring the infant water into it before he scoops out the formula, struggling but managing to put the lid on them popping it in the microwave. “We got this baby girl.” He coos, rocking her and she starts to cry. “Sshhh. It’s okay. It’s okay.” He murmurs, taking the bottle out and checking it on his wrist. He forgets to put the rag under her chin and within moments of her gulping down the milk, she pushes the bottle out of her mouth and spits up.

You dress in clean leggings and a t-shirt, about as fancy as you’ve gotten for the past few months since she’s been born. Coming back into the living room, you groan to yourself when you see her chin and the front of her sleeper covered with milk. “The spit rag, Marcus.” You huff, grabbing one out of the basket next to the couch. “She’ll get a rash.”

Marcus sighs, knowing he’s fucked up again. He always imagined that he’d be a good dad since he always wanted a family but it seems he can’t even do this simple task to look after his daughter. You tut and grab the rag, holding your arms out and he sighs as he slides her into your arms, handing you the bottle once you have her situated.

“I’ll have to bathe her.” You sigh, popping the bottle back into her mouth and rocking her as you feed her. “Her skin is sensitive and even wiping her down with a wipe doesn’t help. It’s why I said you needed a rag.” You aren’t trying to harp on Marcus, but this is why you don’t let him do things. It ends up being more work for you. Grace gurgles and smiles around the nipple and you try to relax. Once again, you were going to eat dinner after it was cold because of having to fix Marcus’s mistake. 

Marcus rubs his cheek while he leans against the kitchen counter, watching you and he notices how truly exhausted you look. He opens his mouth to tell you he’s sorry for not doing the right thing when the doorbell rings. He swallows harshly and makes his way to the front door, paying for the food before he brings it into the kitchen. “Do you, uh, want me to give her a bath while you eat?”

“No.” You shake your head and bite your lip to resist the urge to shout at him that he hasn’t bathed her in months. “I’ll take care of it.” You sigh, standing up and looking at the bags. “Eat your dinner while it’s hot.” Grace pushes the bottle out of her mouth and spits up a little before giving a loud belch, without even being burped. “I know you were hungry.” You walk out of the kitchen with the baby and towards her bathroom,

The canyon between you seems to grow larger with every step you take towards Grace’s bathroom and he’s determined to fix this, to treat you and Grace right, how you should be treated. He serves up his food, sitting by himself as he eats and listens to you coo to Grace across the house.

Bath time is an event. With her sensitive skin you have to be very careful that she is completely clean and dry before you start to dress her in a new diaper and sleeper. Months of being the only one doing it has developed a routine and soon she is giving you sleepy smiles and yawning. “You’re already ready for bed?” You hum softly, sitting down and starting to rock her in the nursery. Your food is just getting colder but you need to make sure she’s down first. Her needs are most important. “Are you going to sleep for me tonight?” You ask. “Mama’s tired too, sweet girl.”

Marcus rubs his hands together, unsure of what you need right now while you put Grace to bed. It’s almost like he’s not needed, he just makes things harder for you and that destroys him. He looks over to your wedding photos on the side table and he misses those people. He misses how easy things used to be between you. Now, you seem like a stranger.

Finally, finally you close the door to her nursery. The mobile is playing quietly and the soft light from the night light bathes the room in stars and fireflies. The monitor is on and you turn to head back to the kitchen. Your stomach is growling and you can’t wait to have a spring roll. Marcus is on the couch when you walk by and you wish that he would say something, but he seems lost in thought. Grabbing a plate, you start piling the food on, frowning when you see his favorite crab rangoons, but no spring rolls. “Hey, uh, where are the spring rolls?” You ask, wondering if he took them out to the living room.

Marcus curses under his breath, unable to believe he forgot your spring rolls. Christ, you must hate him. He stands, making his way into the kitchen. “Baby…I’m so sorry,” He chokes, feeling terrible for forgetting your favorite thing.

Your shoulders slump and it’s so stupid, but tears build up in your eyes. The thing that Marcus knows you love - he forgets. He’s joked that all he should buy you is spring rolls plenty of times. You wipe away the tears, back turned to Marcus as you start to put the food on the plate back into the containers. “I- I’m not hungry.” You decide, hurt that he couldn’t even think of you a little. He made sure he got what he wanted but you just got cold Chinese that was his favorite. “I’m going to go to bed.” You throw the plate in the dishwasher and turn around to see him watching you in confusion. “She’ll be up in a couple of hours and I should sleep while I can.”

He watches you go, feeling helpless and guilty. Where did this all go so wrong? He plans to fix it. He has to. He hopes that treating you to a nice dinner tomorrow and giving you a night out will help you talk to him and give you back a piece of yourself that has been missing since Grace was born. "I'm sorry." He whispers as you walk away. After putting the food away, he sits down on the sofa, deciding to sleep out here and give you some space.

****

You discover your husband on the couch when you come to the kitchen to make Grace’s bottle at two in the morning. Nearly screaming when you see the lump on the couch before you see his face. He had decided to sleep out there rather than come to bed with you. The fact makes your eyes close and you take a deep breath. 

You two had rarely slept apart before Grace, unless he was out of town - or you were at your old job. If you two were upset at one another, it was cuddling and kisses even if you weren’t the most receptive. Just the reminder that he was there when you were ready. It feels like him snoring softly on the couch symbolizes the shift in your relationship. Biting your lip, you turn off the kitchen light and while through the dark to your daughter’s room.

When Marcus wakes up, his back is aching from sleeping on the sofa and he feels so alone. He knows he only has himself to blame for sleeping on the sofa but you seem so far away. Marcus groans, getting up and making his way to the bathroom to get ready for work. He knows he needs to work on your marriage and so when he sees you sitting on the bed, he walks over and kisses your forehead. "Morning sweetheart." He murmurs before he heads into the bathroom.

The kiss both makes your heart flutter and pisses you off because he acts like he didn’t just sleep on the couch. You huff in disbelief before you decide that you aren’t going to cry again like you did last night. You’re starving and Grace will be up soon. Still, you sit there in bed for a moment and listen as the shower starts.

Marcus frowns when he comes into the kitchen and sees you sitting at the kitchen table, barely eating the cereal you prepared. "You're not hungry? You didn't eat last night." He is concerned about you and he wants you to talk to him.

You give a small shrug, not really wanting to talk about food. “I’m fine.” You had started to wonder if the reason he didn’t touch you anymore was because you hadn’t lost the baby weight. Especially because you had clearly heard him jerking off in the shower when you had been laying in bed. He hadn’t been quiet about it.

Marcus frowns, knowing that’s not true. He wants to sit down and talk but he doesn’t have the time. He sighs, making his coffee to put it in the travel cup. “My mom called me this morning. She can come over at 6 to look after Grace so we can go out for dinner. I booked Maggie’s, I thought we would have a nice steak dinner like we used to and we can talk.”

There’s something so ominous about him wanting to talk that you almost burst into tears. Even if he mentioned wanting to fix things, maybe he changed his mind and is going to tell you he wants a divorce. “O-okay.” You murmur, unsure of what to say now. He’s leaning against the counter and watching you, “I’ll make sure I’m ready.”

“Good. I, uh, I gotta get to work but I will be back on time so I can shower and get changed.” He steps closer, leaning down to drop a kiss on the top of your head then he grabs his coffee cup and makes his way out to his car, ready to go to work. He wants to work this out with you. He’s certain this is just a bump and you are out of sync. Hopefully this dinner will be the turning point.

****

Six o’clock comes and you are nowhere near ready. Grace has been fussy and running a fever all day, making you hold her practically the entire time as you tried to get everything done. You’re frazzled and worried although the children Tylenol seemed to be helping and when your mother-in-law knocks on the door, you haven’t even written out your instructions for her, making you feel even more overwhelmed.

Marcus comes home later than he wanted because of a new case and he curses when he sees his mom is already there. When he walks in, he finds you still in leggings and telling his mom about what time Grace goes to bed. “Hey ma.” He kisses his mom on the cheek in greeting before he looks at you. “You’re not ready.” He frowns, figuring you would be waiting on him.

His mom sighs, “she has been telling me about what to do. I know what I'm doing honey and I know you will worry regardless but we will be fine. Won’t we Gracie?” She coos to her granddaughter. “Go and get ready. You both deserve a night off.”

You don’t like the way that his mother is blowing off your instructions like it’s something unimportant but you feel Marcus’s expectant eyes on you. “I’ll be ready in ten minutes.” You promise as you walk toward the bathroom.

Marcus sighs as you close the door and he turns towards his mom. “I - I don’t know what to do. How to fix this. She just seems to hate me and I - Mom, I can’t lose her.” He chokes, knowing it would break his heart but he feels like he’s drowning. 

“Just talk to her. Tell her how you feel and most of all, listen to her. She’s clearly stressed and she needs her husband to be there for her.” She advises, looking down at her granddaughter in her arms. 

Your dress is a maternity dress and you hate that nothing in your closet from before Grace’s birth fits. It makes you feel frumpy and disgusting even though you know that you shouldn’t expect your body to bounce back immediately. Still, you put on makeup and do your hair, feeling somewhat put together for the first time in months. 

Marcus appears a few moments later from the second bathroom dressed and freshly shaved to get rid of the five o clock shadow and his eyes widen at the sight of you. “Beautiful. God, you look beautiful.” He murmurs, walking over to kiss your cheek. 

His mother appears, holding Grace a few moments later, “you guys ready? Me and the little lady here are ready for girls night.”

You fret slightly but you nod. “Call me if anything happens.” You insist. “She’s just had another dose of Tylenol at five thirty and her temperature did come down.” You murmur, reaching over and checking the baby’s forehead with the back of your hand. She’s cooler to the touch, so you aren’t insisting you and Marcus stay home.

“She will be fine. I’ll call if there is anything to worry about and I’ll text you updates.” She promises and Marcus smiles at his mom before he guides you out of the living room and the house. He opens the car door, helping you in and he is nervous. Almost like this is a first date.

You wait for him to get into the car but sit quietly, checking your phone to make sure that the ringer is on and the volume up. Not wanting to miss a call if you get one. “Ready?” Marcus asks as he climbs behind the wheel and starts the engine. 

“Yeah.” You try to give him a smile, but you feel nervous about being away from the baby. It will be the first time since she came home from the hospital.

Marcus turns on the radio, hoping the background noise will help as he drives towards what used to be your favorite restaurant. “How was your day?” He asks, a little awkward and it kills him.

“It was rough.” You admit. “Grace woke up running a fever and she’s been cranky and needy all day.” You don’t even want to mention the horrible diaper changes. Her stomach was upset by the Tylenol. “I had to use that swaddle thing your sister got us to carry her around with me while I tried to get her bottles washed and made up for tonight so all you mom had to do is heat them.”

Marcus wishes he could help but he has to work and when he gets home, he’s so worked up from the cases, he needs to relax.  When he does try to help, he always does it wrong. He can’t win. “My mom will make sure she’s okay. Just relax, baby. Enjoy tonight.” He wants to reach for your hand but you seem like you’re an ocean apart.

You look out the window and roll your eyes. Of course he thinks it’s easy, he’s never home with either of you. Disconnected, and you wonder if he regrets having a baby with you, or if he regrets the entire thing. He acts like he does. “Oh shit.” You huff and open your phone to text your mother in law. “I forgot to tell her that the butt cream is almost out and there is another tub in the linen closet.”

Marcus wants to roll his eyes but refrains. He is happy that Grace is your priority but you haven’t even talked to him properly since she was born. It feels like he might as well not be there. He watches you text the entire drive to the restaurant and he sighs when he gets out of the car, walking around to open your door.

You get out and adjust your dress, feeling slightly uncomfortable. Your dress feels wrong, tighter than normal even though it was one of your first maternity dresses you bought. Maybe it is just in your head. You let Marcus guide you into the restaurant and he leans down to whisper in your ear. “We’ll get that bottle of Cabernet that you love.” You hate Cabernet, always have and you can’t convince Marcus that you do.

When you are seated at your table, Marcus proudly orders the bottle of wine, a smile on his lips as he admires how beautiful you look. You’re always beautiful to him, even when you are busy looking after Grace. You are gorgeous. “Are you hungry, babe?” He asks, opening the menu.

“I guess I am.” You hadn’t eaten beyond the bowl of cereal today. “I didn’t get a chance to really have lunch today.” You open your own menu and look at the options when your phone buzzes and you immediately grab it, worried that it might be about Grace.

Marcus sighs, looking down at the menu. “Was that my mom?” He asks and looks up to see you with tears in your eyes. 

“Yeah. She sent a photo of Grace in her rocker and I- I miss her.” You choke out and Marcus reaches across the table to hold your free hand. 

“Baby, I understand but we need time to talk. We need this.” He murmurs softly.

No, he doesn’t understand. He’s away from Grace more than he’s with her. “Right.” You nod. “What do you want to talk about?” You are dreading it slightly because he’s stopped talking about his day with you or really talking about anything. Most nights for you are exhausted silence and he comes in right before you go to sleep.

“This. Us.” He gestures between you with his free hand. “We are going to crash and burn and we need to talk about what we can do to change that because we can’t go on like this. I feel like we aren’t together. We live separate lives and I feel like you hate me. Everything I do is wrong and I miss my wife. I miss who you used to be.”

“Who I used to be.” You stare at him for a moment before you pull your hand out of his. “Who might that be?” You ask quietly. Apparently everything is your fault in his eyes.

“My wife. The woman who was excited to go and do stuff. Who always wanted to have a good time and not this. You act like you hate me. You always tell me I’m doing everything wrong and I- I don’t know how to fix this. Tell me how to fix this.”

You snort and shake your head. “You’re never home, Marcus! How should I act?” You hiss, trying not to cause a scene but you are frustrated too. “You can’t be bothered to get the formula I need or when you do begrudgingly stop by the store, you buy diapers that will fit our daughter in two years!” You huff. “You just checked out after you went back to work.”

Marcus shakes his head back at you, “I don’t know what I’m doing. I - I try and you don’t tell me specifically what you need so I just - I end up fucking up every time because you don’t give me specifics. I feel like I live with a ghost. You only care about Grace and neglect yourself. You don’t eat or forget to. You don’t shower. I’m worried.”

“I shouldn’t have to tell you that I need you to help with the laundry, or around the house. But again, you aren’t home.” You cross your arms over your chest and try not to get emotional. “You barely even look at me or ask if you can help and when I do ask you to do something, you just stammer and stall until I do it myself.” You blow out a breath. “You’re so worried that you jerk off in the shower and sleep on the couch.”

Marcus is hot with guilt, not realizing you knew about that. He has been jerking off in the shower because he never imagined you’d want him touching you when you obviously hate him right now. “I didn’t - I was giving you space. I didn’t want to push you or make you think you were obligated. I miss you. I miss us.” He chokes.

You scoff again and frown at him. “You miss ‘us’ so much that you avoid being home as much as possible and never actually think about me.” Your eyes water slightly. “I had a husband who promised me that he was going to be with me every step of the way and I’ve been doing everything on my own. Then you complain that I’m not myself.” You take a deep breath. “Wonder why that is?”

Marcus frowns, “you never talk to me. I tried. I tried when Grace was born but you wanted to do everything by yourself and I tried to help but everything was wrong so I just - I gave up.” He admits, “I stay at work because I don’t want to come home and fuck up and upset you.”

“Yeah, you gave up.” You look away for a moment, watching the waiter come back with the bottle of Cabernet. “And you decided that everything - even the things you normally did - would be my responsibility and you don’t even think about anyone but yourself.” You wait until the waiter has poured the wine and left the bottle before you arch a brow at your glass. “Like you not ordering the one damn thing I would want from the Chinese restaurant but you get your favorites or ordering wine you love that I hate.”

Marcus internally curses himself, remembering that you don’t like Cabernet and he forgot the spring rolls. “I- I’m sorry. I should’ve - I should’ve remembered. Do you want something else?” He asks, gesturing to call over the waiter. 

“No. No. I don’t - I just want to go home to Grace.” You confess and Marcus scoffs. 

“You know what? You criticize me, but at least I am here. You are never mentally present, physically yes but you don’t act like we are married. I don’t want or need a roommate. I want a woman who wants to let me in, let me be their husband.” He growls out.

Your chin trembles for a moment, and you blink back some tears. “That’s fine, Marcus.” You murmur after a moment. “Why don’t you go find that perfect woman? I’m obviously not it.” You stand quickly, the legs of the chair scrapping on the floor and you reach for your purse. “Maybe you can find a woman you want to touch, because that’s not been me since Grace was born.”

Marcus watches you rush off, jaw clenched as he calls the waiter over, lying that you don’t feel well as he hands his card over. After leaving a good tip, Marcus makes his way outside to see you leaning against the car. He doesn’t say a word as he unlocks the car and gets into the driver's seat.

The drive home is tense and you can’t even bring yourself to look at Marcus. He keeps deflecting the real issues, you feeling abandoned by him and turning it around on you pushing him away. He doesn’t care, he’s looking for an out so he doesn’t seem like the bad guy and you just gave it to him. You quickly check your phone to see if you have any texts, but there aren’t any, leaving you to stare out the window and try not to cry.

When Marcus pulls onto the driveway, he’s already decided what he needs to do. When he enters the house, leaving you out in the car, he walks straight to the bedroom, ignoring his mom’s call of his name as he grabs a suitcase to pack his things. His marriage is over and it’s killing him inside.

You take a deep breath so you can face his mother without crying, coming into the house and heading straight towards her and Grace. “Is everything okay?” His mom looks worried but you don’t focus on that, relieved to see your daughter again. “You weren’t gone for long.” 

You ease Grace out of her arms and just shake your head. “I- it might be best if you go home.” You admit quietly, unsure if there’s going to be another fight. “Thank you, though.” You would rather there not be witnesses to the end of your marriage.

Marcus is quick, packing his case and carrying it out into the living room. His mom frowns and looks over at you as you cradle Grace, avoiding looking at your husband. "What-" She doesn't get to speak before Marcus does. 

"I am going to stay at my mom's. Give you the space you want." He tells you, setting the case down so he can walk over to you. He bends down to kiss Grace's forehead. "Bye sweetheart. Daddy will - he will see you soon." It kills him to leave but you can't continue like this.

You don’t say anything, stunned that he can so casually make this seem like it’s your fault. Cradling her closer as your husband turns around and walks back to his suitcase without another word. Your mother-in-law looks like she wants to say something but she doesn’t, letting Marcus usher her out the door and within five minutes of being home, you are alone with Grace again.

Marcus grips the steering wheel as he drives his mom home. His dad had dropped her off and he can feel her gaze burning into him, making him sigh. “Can you not lecture me right now?” He begs. 

“Marcus Anthony Pike.” She ignores his plea, “you did not just leave your wife and baby.” She reprimands him and Marcus shakes his head. 

“What can I do? She doesn’t want me.”

“That is not true.” Mallory frowns at her son’s profile. “She loves you. I don’t think you understand how much motherhood changes a woman. She’s got different emotions and probably has a little postpartum depression.” She tuts. “I hope that you’ve been making sure that she’s not overwhelmed.”

"I try to help her ma, but she - she won't let me or if I do help, I do it wrong. I don't know how to help her and I - I miss who she used to be." Marcus feels so guilty. 

Mallory shakes her head. "Baby, she is never going to be who she used to be. She is forever changed. Having a child...you lose a part of yourself. That girl that used to go out and drink and dance? She is gone and in her place is a mother. You mourn who you used to be, when you could do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted, but you would never regret your baby and then you feel guilty for missing that version of yourself."

****

At home, you’re hysterical. You had to lay Grace down in her crib, unable to hold her and not wanting her to pick up on your emotions and be upset. You had managed to lay her down and stumble to the bedroom, curling up with Marcus’s pillow to scream and cry into it. Unable to understand where things went so wrong and your heart breaking because you had wanted this with him, and it seems like it was tearing you apart.

Marcus pulls onto his mom's driveway, not ready to face his dad. "You are going to kiss me on the cheek and then you are going to go back to your house, tell your wife you are sorry and tell her to let you make it up to her. You need to understand what she is going through." Mallory tells him and Marcus nods, knowing she is right. 

"Okay. Thank you for looking after Grace. I, uh, I will go home." He is dreading another fight but you need to handle this one way or another. After seeing his mom is inside, he drives home, music off as he wonders about what will come next. When he pulls into the driveway and cuts the engine, he prays he will figure this out, before he makes his way inside.

Nearly hyperventilating because of how hard you are crying, you can’t seem to make yourself stop. Not even as you listen mutedly to Grace cry in her room. Unable to move as you realize that you have done nothing but fail since you’ve given birth. You can’t do anything and you’ve just lost the man you love.

Marcus leaves his suitcase in the car and walks in, setting his keys on the side, and he hears Grace crying. Confused that you aren't in her nursery, he makes his way into her room and coos as he picks her up. "Shhh, baby girl. Daddy's here. Daddy's here. It's okay." He coos, rocking her as she squawks. He carries her into the kitchen, working on her bottle. He watches as she gulps down the milk and he realizes that this is exactly what he should've been doing this entire time. He's failed as a father and a husband.

You didn’t have the monitors turned on so you don’t hear your daughter crying anymore, assuming that she cried herself to sleep. That makes you feel even more guilty, knowing that her needs come before your own. Even when it feels like your world is ending. You can barely catch your breath, getting the hiccups as tears continue to pour down your face, soaking into Marcus’s pillow.

Marcus watches Grace's eyelashes flutter as she goes back to sleep, snuggling into his arms and he watches her for a few moments before he carries her back to her crib, gently setting her down and stroking her head. After pulling the door closed, he walks towards the bedroom, and he hears your sobs as he opens the door.

You hear the door opening, your head lifting and your eyes are nearly swollen shut from crying so hard. Hiccuping and gasping for breath, alarmed that someone could have broken in until you see Marcus. Dropping your head back to his pillow and crying new tears, knowing that another blow up is coming. He’s going to tell you that he’s getting a lawyer, that he wished he never married you.

Marcus’s heart breaks at the sight of you curled up around his pillow and he wastes no time kicking off his shoes and laying down beside you, wrapping his arms around you. “I’m so sorry baby. I’m so sorry. I’ve fucked up more than you can forgive me for. I know that now. I love you so much. I love you so much for giving me Grace and being such a wonderful mom. I’m so sorry I’ve been such an asshole. I love you. I love you.” He rambles, breathing you in as you sob in his arms.

“No you doooonnnn’t.” You wail. “I’ve been s-so hor-horrible to you.” You close your eyes and wish that this was just a bad dream. That you will wake up and you will still be pregnant with Grace. You had very weird dreams while you were carrying her, realistic ones. Why can’t this just be a nightmare? “You- you’re gonna leave me and find someone that is better for you. Some-someone you want to be with and- and- and won’t be such a failure!”

“Failure? Baby, you are amazing. I haven’t been doing my part and you’ve been looking after Grace and the house by yourself. You are so strong and so fucking incredible. I'm sorry I haven’t been here to help you. I haven’t been doing enough. I haven’t been a good husband. Your life has changed completely since you had her and I haven’t been considerate of that. You are amazing and I love you. You are everything I dreamed of when I yearned for a wife and a family.”

Closing your eyes, you just shake your head, not believing him. Everything has been so stiff and separate for so long. He can’t have just flipped a switch. “It - it’s not good enough.” You whimper quietly, your own insecurities coming out. “You don’t want me anymore. I’m- fat and frumpy and boring.”

“Absolutely not.” His voice is hard as you put yourself down. “You’re beautiful, baby and when you are holding Grace? Fuck, you look like an angel. Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. There’s no one else that makes me feel the way you do. I miss us. I miss us spending time together. We are out of sync but I want us to get back into our rhythm. I want us to be together. A family but also a couple.”

Your hiccups have settled down and your breathing is loud, nose stuffy. “I- I need some help.” You admit quietly. “I’m scared to ask.” You swallow and open your eyes to look at him. “It always seems like I’m bothering you when I call. You used to pick up on the first ring, now I always get your voicemail.”

“Ask me.” He pleads, “tell me what you want, what you need. I can’t - I’m not a mind reader honey. I need you to tell me. I’m a man. We have no idea what we are doing. Please baby, just talk to me.” He cups your cheek, wiping your tears with his thumb and his heart breaks at your teary eyes.

“I feel like you regret this.” You confess, your eyes sliding guiltily away from his. “That you regret having Grace, being with me.” You sigh softly. “I wondered if you were having an affair.”

Marcus’s heart breaks. “Baby. No. Oh fuck. No.” He shakes his head, cupping your other cheek to make you look at him. “Baby. No. I don’t regret a single thing. You are - oh God. Don’t ever think that. Ever. I love you. You and Grace are my world and I should’ve paid more attention to you. I would never cheat on you. You - you are the love of my life.”

You sigh quietly and the silence settles between you for a long moment, your breathing starting to slow down. “I’m sorry I took over.” You apologize softly. “I shouldn’t have. I should have let you stumble through things and not harp on you.” You can admit that you are wrong. “I’m just afraid of messing her up.”

Marcus tuts, “you won’t mess her up, baby. She’s - you are an amazing mother and you are going to make mistakes. I have already and it’s gonna happen. You can’t be perfect. We can’t be perfect. We just need to do our best for her and love her. Do you think you can do that for me? Just be us. I miss us. I miss you.”

“You miss the woman I used to be.” You remind him. “I- I don’t know if I’m that person anymore.” You admit. “I just- I feel like you don’t want me. Before she was born you were always touching me and kissing me. And then- it just - when I was cleared, you didn’t come home until I was asleep. You didn’t want to be with me.”

“I didn’t want to push you. I didn’t want you to think that I was pushing aside your feelings so I could get off. I wanted it to be special and I guess…I guess I got caught up in it all. I’m sorry baby. I miss you. Just you. Who you are now is still the woman I’m in love with.

You would cry about that too, but you’ve cried all you can right now. Instead you give him a watery, puffy smile. “I love you Marcus. I do. You are my husband. My soulmate.”

Marcus looks into your eyes, slowly moving forward to gently press his lips against yours. He doesn’t want to move too fast in case this isn’t what you want.

It’s soft and sweet, everything that Marcus can be and everything you’ve missed over the past months. Your eyes close, sighing softly as you reach up and cup his smooth cheek.

He sighs, kissing you softly and loving how sweet this is. He’s missed this so much. He shifts, pushing you onto your back so he can hover over you, wanting to be closer to you before he pulls back to kiss your lips, nose, cheeks and forehead. “I love you. Please don’t ever forget that.”

“I love you too.” You promise, looking up at him. It was very rare that the two of you ever fought before, but you would joke about how the make up sex was worth it. He’s still in his dress shirt and slacks from his suit and your hands roam up and over his back before you start to tug it out of his pants, needing to feel his skin against yours. “Marcus.” You whimper softly. “I need you.”

He groans, working on pulling his shirt out of his pants and he kisses along your neck. “I’m yours.” He promises, his cock hardening at the thought of having you again and he hopes he can make this good for you since it’s been a while. “I want you, baby.” He murmurs against your skin, his hands sliding up your thighs to push the dress you are wearing higher.

I want you Marcus.” You know that there is more to talk about, but right now you need to feel your husband. To have the physical connection with him. You’ve missed this, missed the intimacy you shared. “Missed this.” 

“Me too. So much.” He groans, biting down on your collarbone as his hands find your panties, pressing against your clit through the now damp fabric. “Always wanted you. Why I had to jerk off.”

You huff, but you aren’t going to argue with him. You had been tired and cranky, probably would’ve turned him down if he tried to start something. Instead, you reach down and fumble with his belt, eager to touch him again. “You don’t have to.” You groan when your hand slips into his boxers and wraps around his hard cock, feeling it twitch against your palm.

He chokes out a groan at your touch and he shakes his head, grabbing your wrist to pull it out of his pants. “I’m barely gonna last as is. Let me take care of you.” He grunts, shifting back onto his haunches and he quickly shrugs off his shirt before he reaches for the hem of your dress. Pulling it over your head, he quickly works on removing your bra. You wince, knowing you don’t look the same. You tried breastfeeding but Grace wasn’t latching and you couldn’t produce as much as she needed so you switched to formula. “Beautiful.” Marcus sighs, leaning down to wrap his lips around your nipple.

“Marc!” You cry out, eyes closing as you feel him suck. It’s wonderful and slightly painful since your breasts have barely been touched since you were trying to have your milk dry up.

Marcus continues working your nipple, biting down gently and sucking to soothe the ache. He loves how you whimper and he switches to the other tit, wanting you to enjoy every second of this. This is about you.

“Oh fuck.” You moan, tangling your fingers into his hair and enjoying the way that his cock pulses against your thigh when you tug on it. “I love this, I love you. I’ve missed your mouth on me.” You ramble.

Marcus hisses when you tug on his hair again. “Me too. Missed you so much. Missed this. Us. Want to - fuck baby, I need to taste you.” He groans, shifting to kiss along your sternum, down to your stomach. When you fidget, he grips you to keep you still and lathes his tongue over every mark and blemish.

“Marcus….” You breathe out a sigh and look down at him. “You don’t have to do that.” You can’t even imagine him wanting to put his face down there after watching Grace’s birth. “It’s okay.”

Marcus scoffs, “let me take care of my girl.” He shifts down to lay between your legs and he presses his nose against your covered clit, reaching up to grip the elastic to move it to the side so he can slide his tongue through your folds.

You open your mouth and all that you manage is a strangled moan. Shuddering and your legs twitch before they fall open even wider - wanting Marcus to take as much as he wants. It’s blissful, laying like this and letting him lick your pussy after months of not being touched, it’s like the stress is melting away with every flick of his tongue.

He’s determined to make this good for you. Moans escaping his own lips as he tastes the tang he hasn’t sampled for months. “Fuck baby. Missed this.” He groans, pulling back for a moment so he can pull your panties off, tossing them across the room then he buries his tongue deep, his hands sliding under you to grab your ass and tilt your hips.

It’s always so good with him. He has the ability to pull you apart piece by piece and put you back together again. Better than before. “Oh fuck.” Your hips jerk up and you can’t help but grind down on him. “Baby, I- I need more.” You gasp. “I need you inside me.”

Marcus lifts up and shakes his head. "Baby. I won't last inside of you. Let me make you cum like this just in case." He pleads, diving back in to suck on your clit while his finger pushes into you, giving you something more.

Shuddering, you clench down around his fingers. Loving how foreign it feels since it’s been so long since you’ve had his fingers inside you. You know he��s going to make you cum. “Oh fuck baby, so good. You’re so good!”

Marcus hisses against your flesh, sucking your clit a little harder. He desperately wants you to cum. He reaches up to grab your hand with his free hand, squeezing while he curls his fingers to find the spot that makes you cry out.

Your eyes burst open and your entire body stiffens in pleasure. Crying out his name as your walls clamp down around his fingers like a vice. You tug on his hair harshly while you come apart for him, the rush of heat making your limbs go limp.

You soaking his fingers has him groaning out at how beautiful you sound when you cum. He works you through it, kitten licking your clit and he pulls back after a moment, his cock throbbing with need to get inside of you. "Can I fuck you, baby?" He asks.

You giggle, still stuffed up from crying but you don’t care and reach for his shoulders to drag him up. “If you don’t, I’m going to be pissed.” You promise him, needing to feel him throbbing and pulsing inside you. You love the way he feels and the delicious sounds he makes when he’s buried deep inside you.

You are completely surrounding him and he exhales, just feeling you for a moment until he decides to move. He shifts, slowly moving his hips to work his cock deeper inside of you. “Fuck. I’ve missed this.” He admits, cock twitching when your walls squeeze him.

Leaning up, you bite his chin. “Your hand not quite the same?” You tease, making sure you squeeze him tight again. You already feel more connected to him than you have in months. Nails scratching down his back lightly as you wrap your legs around his thighs.

“My hand could never fucking compare.” He scoffs, shaking his head as he slowly makes love to you, wanting you to be reassured that you are what he wants. He  kisses your neck, “I love you baby. You are my everything. Never doubt that.” He pleads, needing you to believe him.

“I love you.” Stroking his back while he moves over you, your hips lift. “We need this. To be together.” You know that, feeling better than you have in a long time. Your first orgasm makes your entire body hum and relax with pleasure.

“Fuck baby. I’m not gonna - I’m not gonna last. You feel too good.” He warns you, shifting to find your clit, rubbing harder to try and get you to cum before he does.

Gasping, your walls clench down around him. You don’t really care if you cum right now, the feeling of his cock throbbing inside you, the stuttered rolls of his hips and the way his lips crash against yours is enough but his fingers are insistent. Making your cry into his mouth softer and sweeter when the liquid heat of your orgasm rushes over him and makes the next thrust wetter while you fall apart under him. 

The way you soak his cock has him cumming instantly. Marcus hisses, thrusting deep to bury his cock inside of you and he groans your name as he paints your walls. His entire body is tensed as he releases spurt after spurt of cum that even jerking off wouldn’t handle. “Fuck I love you.” He pants.

Humming in agreement, you love the weight of him on top of you. Pressing you down and surrounding you while he kisses along your jaw. “I love you too.” You are a mess, you know it. Eyes swollen and puffy, nose stuffed up and yet he still pulls back and looks at you like you are the most gorgeous thing in the world. You lean up and kiss him again. “I love you Marcus. I’m so sorry for pushing you away.” 

He tuts, brushing your cheek gently. “Don’t even think about that right now.” He sighs, “it’s over with. Let’s move forward and be stronger, yeah? I love you. I want you. I need you. That’s all you need to remember when we have tough moments. There will be more to come.”

“I know.” You are glad that he’s not dwelling on it, but you still keep your arms wrapped around him. Eager to keep him close for another minute or two.

“You and Grace are everything to me baby. I love you both so much. Please, never doubt that. You’re my world and I’m so sorry that you doubted that. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I will be from now on. I love you baby. So much.”

“That’s going to be in the past, for both of us.” You brush his hair back and press another kiss to his lips. “We’ll work together and talk when things come up.” You promise him and yourself. “You are the man I love, the man I decided I wanted a life and family with.” You smile up at Marcus. “And I want our life together to be amazing.”

“Amazing sounds like a plan, sweetheart.” He coos, nudging your nose. There’s a cry that breaks your gaze, both of you looking over at the baby monitor and Marcus grunts as he pulls out of you. “I will get her. You stay here and I will clean you up when I come back. I’ll make us a snack too since we didn’t get to eat. Grilled cheese?” He asks and you nod. He’s determined to make up for not looking at you. It’s his duty as a husband and father and he won’t fail again. 

He coos to Grace as he picks her up after sliding on his boxers and he rocks her while he carries her to the kitchen to get her bottle. “Your mama and I are gonna work this out. Your mama is amazing, baby girl, but you already know that.” He coos, watching her as she takes the bottle he prepared. “It’s gonna be okay.” He promises. Marcus Pike finally has the family he has always wanted and he won’t allow anything to ruin it…even himself.

[sol-saggitarius]

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞...

❝ I got so used to your presence that the mere second you’re gone, it turns my world completely upside down. ❞  

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 775

Warnings: None!

Author Note: Hello hello! This is one of my first fics I’m posting on Tumblr. I’m slightly nervous haha.. But nonetheless this is a sampler for how I write and I hope you enjoy and come back for more! I’ll be posting two more sampler fics in the near future so look forward to it.

Synopsis: Ever since you two have met, you’ve always been around him. But then suddenly one day you don’t greet him as per usual.

Love was never part of the equation of the life that Leona had thought for himself. All he ever wanted was a peaceful life of rest and relaxation. A life away from his repressed emotions, between his school life and the life he had back home. Just a simple life of resting under the beautiful midday rays of sunshine. 

One fateful day, as some would put it, you had clumsily tripped over his tail. An unfortunate accident of course, but he still felt the pain no less. His low growl pierced your core as you apologized, hoping that at the very least he'd ask you to just leave him alone. As with your luck, you happened to be running late and in a hurry. As if he were reading your mind, he just sighed and shooed you off like dust on his clothing, albeit he was still quite irritated. Nonetheless he was (mostly) back to his peaceful nap and that was all that mattered to him.

As time went on though, he found himself always running into you. Whether it was in the hallways, maybe some of his classes, trouble with some of his dorm mates, or even just you coming around and saying hi, you were almost always there. It became a regular event at one point. He expected you to show up in one way or another, that was a given to him. But then one day, you just stopped. Never in his life had he felt that sharp pain in his chest, like a needle being put into a pin cushion. This miniscule action has completely flipped his routine upside down. Ruggie was run ragged trying to get Leona out of bed and even more ragged when he was trying every move in the book to make sure Leona didn't stay back again. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he asked Leona why he was sulking like a depressed housecat. To that, Leona became defensive and stated he just felt more irritated than usual and he didn’t know why, which wasn't out of the norm. Somehow Ruggie knew this was a lie. Whether Leona knew it or not. Being by Leona’s side had given Ruggie a third person perspective onto the things that tend to occur around the lion prince. One of those things was of course, you. He saw you everyday having a little one sided chat with Leona, a simple “hello!” or “how are you?” followed by a “humph”or “buzz off”, to which you always responded with a small chuckle and then a goodbye, and just like that you were on your way to repeat that same thing the very next day. Recently he's noticed you haven't shown your face at all within Leona’s vicinity. Was he upset about you not coming to greet him? How could that be with the way he responded to you? Who really knew. All Ruggie knew was that he HAD to figure out what was going wrong. Otherwise he'd be stuck with a sulking Leona for whoever knows how long. 

That very afternoon, with a little digging and intel collection, he had found you. Lately you’ve been bogged down by schoolwork. No wonder you never came by, it seemed excruciating. But his mission was more important than your work. Ruggie approaches you with a casual smile and his hands resting on the back of his head. He tells you that there's an emergency in Savanaclaw and he needed specifically YOUR help. Without much room to argue he takes you to Savanaclaw and then leads you to a sulking Leona. Upon seeing your face however, the ever stoic lion's eyes light up. Though it was extremely hard to notice. You question Ruggie but as soon as you turned around he was gone. Long gone. You awkwardly stood there, fiddling with the sleeves of your NRC uniform jacket. You asked Leona if he was going to say anything, or even tell you what this so-called "emergency" was, but he was silent. His predatory gaze closing in on you. The silence lasted only a few more excruciatingly long seconds until he asks, borderline pouts, why you haven't come to annoy him lately. To which you respond honestly and say that your school work has taken most of your time. He clicks his tongue and states, moreso demands, that if you needed help with the work that he'd begrudgingly help you. Without room to speak he then dismisses you to go get your work and bring it back to his room. As you left, below his breath he mumbled,

"I just missed you, you damn herbivore."

[ahundredtimesover]

Belong (2.5: Rewind) | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; implied depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; almost drowning, explicit sexual content (kissing, straddling, fingering, oral, penetrative sex) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 8k

Series Masterlist

Status: Complete

Series summary: Being an actor has always been your dream. Pursuing it meant many things - leaving the town where you grew up, distancing yourself from your family that had fallen apart, and saying goodbye to the man who made you feel what home was like. When you decide to finally return after being away for so long, you meet Min Yoongi again, and you’re reminded of the summer romance from 8 years ago with the college basketball superstar whose broken dream pushed you away. As you find yourself spending time with him, you’re left to wonder if love changes, if it gives second chances, or if it’s just another illusion that will hurt the both of you the second time around.

Listen to: Marigolds by Boundary Run; Younger by Nightly || Playlist 🎶

8 years ago

It’s been a full week since you’ve met Min Yoongi. It’s also been a week since the last time you kissed. You won’t deny that you’ve been meaning to do it again; every time he drags his tongue through his teeth, it’s incredibly tempting. But you also won’t deny how much you’ve been enjoying the past few days with him.

You learn something about him everyday. Like how his dream for basketball started, that he took piano lessons as a kid, and that his dad runs the famous antique shop in town and Yoongi spent a lot of time there growing up. You learn about his closeness with the old man and his love-hate relationship with his older brother. You find out about his mother leaving when he was a teenager, a story that mirrors yours, although he said that they don’t speak as much as they used to. 

He also likes reading books and watching documentaries, but that a perfect day for him is one that's spent at home with his americano, lounging around and taking naps, and shooting hoops in the evening. It’s the type of day that’s unlike any of the ones you’ve been having. 

Since that late night cafe run where you spoke for hours, you and Yoongi have gone to a few more, found a hole-in-the-wall with the best dumplings, explored parks, drove to the outskirts of town and gazed at empty fields, and have been pretty much walking around, peeping in shops and entering the ones that pique your interest. 

Yoongi doesn’t complain. He’s patient when you take a long time to decide where to go and what to do, and he watches you in amusement whenever you skip down the street or insist on laying on the grass. You know this last bit because you’ve seen it - that glimmer in his eyes and the softness of his smile. 

Taehyung doesn’t believe you when you describe it; he’s rarely ever seen his senior make eye contact nor show much interest in anyone in all the years that your best friend has known him. But you insist that you see it, that Yoongi’s smile is usually brief and shy, but you catch it during the instances that you look his way, which is many times, given just how alluring and good-looking he is. 

Sure, the supposed nonchalance is attractive; you know lots of girls who’d fall for his mysterious aura. But that’s just a part of it for you. You know that underneath the seeming disinterest, he’s actually very attentive. He remembers things you’ve said, points out something at a store that you mentioned you’ve been looking for, and buys you bottled water once you feel dehydrated from the heat before you even say anything. After that one time you said you like your coffee with ¾ milk, he makes sure to get you extra every time. 

So while you wish he’d kiss you again, you don’t really mind the ways you’ve been getting to know each other. He wouldn’t be messaging you what your plans for the day are and then showing up outside your house if he wasn’t interested. 

Today’s afternoon breeze is cooler than usual. It’s why before heading for dinner and noraebang with your newfound friends, you decide to walk around another part of town with Yoongi. He’s in his usual knee-ripped jeans and plain shirt, his baseball cap worn backwards, and his hands inside his pockets. 

You’re walking next to him, excitedly talking about your classes for the upcoming school year and the studio visits you’ll make, before you skip towards a flower shop and head inside. 

It’s the biggest one you’ve seen so far and there are so many different types that you gasp in awe. The owner, an elderly woman, smiles brightly at you as you look around. The daisies catch your eyes as they always do, but you can’t help but beam at the bouquet of marigolds she’s arranging. You converse with her - you say you’re visiting for the summer and she says it’s harvesting time for these bright flowers. Your energy and sunny disposition remind her of them, so she plucks a small piece and tucks it behind your ear. 

“There you go, darling,” she coos. “The flower’s even prettier now.” She turns to Yoongi who’s just been standing quietly next to you. “Isn’t it?”

“So much prettier now,” he mumbles. 

You nibble your lips out of giddiness while Yoongi looks away. You bow at the woman and thank her for the flower before walking out. It falls off your ear before you make it to the end of the street, and so he picks it up and calls out for you, as you walk mindlessly to the vintage store that you see. 

He tucks it gently behind your ear, trying to avoid your eyes, while you try to catch his gaze. 

“How does it look?” You ask.

“She looks beautiful,” he says, looking at you now. 

It’s what he does, you think to yourself. Yoongi may be shy and may not always look you in the eyes but when he wants to be honest or make a point, he will. You learn now it’s one of the things that causes your heart to stop, as you stand in front of him unable to do or say anything. 

You eventually burst into a smile and so does he. It’s one of those moments you share where there’s all this tension and unsaid words but you both prefer to just let it flow, to savor it without addressing whatever it is that’s going on between you.

Yoongi’s phone ringing catches your attention, especially as he groans and picks up the call. He turns away for a bit before looking at you once more. 

“The delayed delivery just arrived at the shop,” he informs you. “My dad wants me to help out a bit. Are you, uh, are you okay with passing by?”

He looks shy and a bit worried. Maybe it’s the thought of meeting his family but you don’t mind; you’re quite excited, in fact, since you’re still trying to get to know him. You’re obviously attracted to this man and at this point, you just want to know more about the different aspects of his life. 

“Of course,” you smile. “I’d love to meet your dad.”

“And my brother,” he groans. “If he says shit about me, don’t believe it.”

“I’ll try,” you tease, following his lead as he starts walking. 

The shop is just 3 blocks away and you get there in no time. He seems to be in a hurry and you want to just hold his hand, tell him he doesn’t have to be anxious, even if you’re unsure of what reason he has to be.

There’s a large truck parked outside and you suppose it’s some furniture pieces. That’s confirmed when you enter and see movers placing dressers and cabinets and benches inside. A man, who seems to be Mr. Min, instructs them to just lay the pieces where there’s space, as his sons will be the ones to arrange them. The movers follow and it’s shortly after when they finally unload everything. 

Amidst all the chaos, you get to look around. You’re in awe of what you see; Yoongi didn’t do justice in describing the place because it feels like a museum. You want to just look around and trace your fingers along the surfaces and make up stories in your mind about who owned them. 

“Thanks for coming so quickly, Son,” Mr. Min says. “I thought you’d be at the park playing with the guys.”

“Not today,” Yoongi hums. “We were just walking around the area.”

“We?” Mr. Min asks, looking around until his gaze falls on you, questioning eyes perhaps wondering if you’re who his son is referring to.

“Hi, Mr. Min,” you bow. “I’m ___.”

“Hello, my dear,” he answers, returning your smile. 

“Dad, where do I—” says another man, pausing when he looks at you. He immediately smiles and fixes his hair. Walking up to you, he reaches out for his hand. “Hi, I’m—”

“He’s Geumjae,” Yoongi finishes, taking the hand that’s reached out for him to shake instead. “My brother. You know, the one I said who’d take my clothes and then lose them? Yeah, that’s him.”

Geumjae smacks his brother’s head in response, glaring at him for interrupting his introduction. “Is she your girlfriend?”

“N-no,” Yoongi stammers, glancing at you warily. 

“Then why’d you interrupt?”

“No reason,” the younger man shrugs, looking away from you. 

Just as you think that Geumjae would provoke Yoongi, he instead walks over to him, whispers something in his ear, and then wiggles his eyebrows. Yoongi scowls then smacks his brother’s arm, earning him a long chuckle. They continue on doing what brothers do as you watch in amusement, giggling when Yoongi embarrassingly looks your way.

“Okay, that’s enough children,” Mr. Min playfully shakes his head. “Now, can you be civil and work together to arrange the deliveries? I’ll work on inventory.” He turns towards you to say, “don’t worry, it won’t take too long.”

You nod and say you don’t mind, even when he asks if it’s okay for you to just wait. You’re free to look around, he says, and you do, but you stay close by. 

“So, you and Yoongi are just… friends?” He asks.

“Yes. We met just last week,” you smile, explaining that you’re just visiting for the summer but that you grew up in Daegu. 

“Ah, that’s interesting,” Mr. Min nods. “He’s lived here his whole life, too, but he’s never brought a girl to the shop, nor has he ever mentioned one. I’d say you’re the first. I always wondered if he even befriended girls but now I know he does.”

“Oh, I’m sure he has friends who are girls,” you giggle. “He’s popular at school, as I’ve heard.”

“Well then one would think he would’ve brought someone to introduce to his old man, right?”

“I guess he’s just been so focused on basketball that he hasn’t had time. He talks about the sport with so much passion, Mr. Min. I assume that’s what he prioritizes over, uh… girls,” you answer, finding amusement in Yoongi’s anxious face as he glances at you conversing with his dad without him. 

“Well, as I keep telling him - if he drowns himself in the court, then that’s all he’s gonna learn to love,” Mr. Min shakes his head. “There’s always time to meet and be with people.”

“Well, we’ve been spending every day together, so, maybe he’s spending the summer doing that,” you giddily say. 

“Well, I hope he does. If you’re the only one who can get him out of the house and off the court, then you should come home often,” the old man chuckles.

I’d like to, you say to yourself, thinking that if this thing with Yoongi goes anywhere, you definitely want to travel here as often as you can to be with him. 

The hour flies quickly. The two boys move furniture while Mr. Min records each piece. You converse with him the whole time - you talk about your film class and your favorite movies, indulging him because he likes watching them, too. He talks about his great-grandparents who built the shop and how his family has managed to maintain it all these years. You laugh in between, especially when he’d tell stories of Yoongi growing up here, breaking a few shelves because he always tried to climb on them.

The brothers finally finish the task, and they both tiredly walk up to the counter where you and Mr. Min are.

“All good, dad. We’ll go now. Bye!” Yoongi hurriedly says, pulling you by the wrist.

Mr. Min and Geumjae say their goodbyes, and you don’t miss the playful tone of their voices. You turn back to wave at them and they call out that they’ll see you again soon.

Yoongi lets go of your hand once you exit the shop. 

“Sorry,” he says. “For pulling you and, uh, for making you wait that long.”

“I could've stayed there longer, honestly,” you smile, liking the feel of his rough hand on you. “I loved talking with your dad. He’s so endearing. You really do have a good relationship with him.”

“My brother and I do,” he answers. “We were all he had after our mother left. It affected our dad so much even if he didn’t want to show it because he wanted to be the strong one for us. So we made sure he knew he wasn’t alone. And he always reminded us that her departure wasn’t our fault.”

“Hmm, what courage,” you remark. “It’s something I can’t say my father has.”

“He could,” he counters. “Parents don’t know how to love sometimes. In some instances, they just don’t know how to show it.”

“That’s what I don’t get though, with people who struggle to show it,” you muse. “Just… why? What’s so hard about it?”

“Maybe if it’s flawed and imperfect, people become ashamed.”

“It’s still love though, isn’t it? Isn’t not feeling it worse than receiving flawed and imperfect love?” 

You’d take any kind of love over nothing at all, you think.

“But if the love is shattered glass, then that’s just gonna hurt both people,” Yoongi hums, prompting you to think. 

Your father’s heart did break. Maybe you would’ve accepted his inability to handle you shortly after your mom left. But once he’d healed, once he’d found someone new - which he did, about 4 years after - he still didn’t show it, he still couldn’t figure it out. You’re home for the summer after 2 years since you left and you still don’t feel whatever love he’s supposed to show you. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” you sigh, not enjoying the somber tone of your conversation. 

Yoongi picks this up and immediately asks you if his dad told you any embarrassing stories. Your face lights up right away and you relay what Mr. Min narrated, causing Yoongi to groan and shake his head. 

“He said he’ll show me your baby pictures where they put you in costumes,” you laugh. “I can’t wait for that.”

“Why is he embarrassing me like this,” he mutters. “Anything else he said?”

“That you’ve never brought any girl to the shop nor have you mentioned anyone,” you reply. “Is that true? Has sweet assassin captain Min Yoongi not been using his superstardom with the ladies?”

“Well if I did, then it’d be superficial, right?” He answers, earning you a curious look. “There was a girl I liked in freshman year who only went out with me to get close to the basketball team. After I became MVP, a bunch of people started trying to get my attention. It didn’t feel that sincere. And no one really caught my eye and the others sounded quite shallow and those weren’t the type of people I’d introduce to my dad and brother, you know?”

“But I caught your attention,” you remind him. “And you took me to the shop to meet them.”

“Because I had no choice,” he defends. “And well, I just had a feeling they’d like you. And they seem to.”

“That’s nice to know,” you smile. “So what about me catching your attention, huh?”

“Oh I don’t deny that. I’ll always be the guy who got hit by a ball because he was gazing at this pretty girl on the stands.”

“Yes, you’ll always be that guy,” you giggle. “I still haven’t told a soul, by the way.”

“Good,” he hums. 

You and Yoongi hang at a park until it’s time for dinner. He drives to the chicken and beer place you’re meeting everyone at, and you don’t miss the smug faces of the guys as you both enter. 

“Hanging out again today, I see,” Namjoon teases. “Tae’s been complaining that he hasn’t seen his best friend all week.”

“Yeah, she’s been so busy that I can’t even squeeze myself in her schedule,” Taehyung frowns at you, but you know he’s just teasing, given that you call him every night and talk about Yoongi.

“I’m with you everyday in Seoul,” you playfully roll your eyes. “I’m just seeing what’s out here, you know? I’ve been away a while.”

“And do you like what you’re seeing?” Namjoon baits.

“Oh, I do. Very much.”

The group hoots and you laugh along. You glance at Yoongi who sits across from you and sneak him a smile. He returns it briefly before looking away and giving Jungkook a blank look after the younger man nudges his shoulder to tease.

Dinner goes by noisily. Not long after, you all walk to the nearby noraebang for some more fun. You sit next to Yoongi and you both watch and laugh at the guys fight over the mic and cheer and tease each person who sings.

It’s Namjoon who asks for your song choice and you surprise everyone when you say you’ll only sing if Yoongi joins you. Everyone hoots again, claiming that they’ve never heard the captain sing. 

“Is it okay?” You move closer to ask him.

“It depends,” he hums. “Do you have a thing for singers?”

“Hmm, I don’t really mind.”

“Okay. I’m terrible at it and I don’t want you to stop liking what you see.”

You giggle at his statement. He really knows what to say to make a girl flustered and giddy. 

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that,” you reply. “I might even like it more.”

Yoongi feels the embarrassment creep in once he takes the mic and you hold your own. His deep voice blends with yours. He won’t say it’s the best harmony, but you’re definitely carrying the song more than he is. You giggle in between lines but he can’t help but notice how your eyes don’t look away from him, whereas he can’t look at you for more than 3 seconds. The crowd loves you and you know how to charm them. You know how to get his heart beating fast, too.

The song finally ends and he breathes a sigh of relief to your amusement. 

Sitting next to him, you whisper, “hmm, I still like it.”

Yoongi can only chuckle as he watches you hold in a smile. 

You both talk in whispers for the rest of the night, as your friends get carried away with singing. They leave you to your little corner of the couch though, with you leaning closer to Yoongi to say something and him doing the same. His warmth breath against your skin sends shivers down your spine, and you have to control yourself from kissing him, which you so badly wish he’d just do. 

You can take the initiative, of course, but you like the thrill of this flirtation you’re both doing. You also really want him to be the one to do it first. The only problem is you’re not much of a patient person, so every time he leaves you wanting whenever his face inches close to yours only to move away, your frustration levels increase and you start to rethink if you should just go ahead and take control. 

Your group is promptly kicked out at 2AM, and you’re about to ride with Taehyung when Yoongi pulls on your wrist and asks if he could take you home. You agree, riding on the passenger seat that’s now become familiar, and you look out the window for most of the ride, not wanting to show him that you’re maybe already getting impatient. He doesn’t say much either, but you do miss the several times he glances at you and the pout on his face because of your unusual quietness. 

He pulls over some meters away from your house, turns off the engine, and then quickly walks towards your side. Your movements are slow; you do want the time to stop, even if you’re still a little frustrated.

“Hey,” he says, as he pulls open the door you’ve unlocked. He stands in front of you while you remain seated with your legs dangling outside. “Is everything okay? You’ve been… quiet.”

You turn to him who looks a little worried, and you don’t really plan on keeping your desires unknown that much longer.

“I’ve just been wondering,” you reply. “Why haven’t you kissed me again? Did you not like it? I mean, well, we did go out for coffee after and then didn’t do it again.”

You turn away as you start to ramble. You just hope you don’t sound pathetic, especially given how confident you were in teasing him earlier.

It’s quiet for a while before you feel his fingers under your chin. He shifts you to face him, and all that worry has now turned into softness.

“I’ve been thinking about that kiss since it happened,” he says, his voice so deep you start to lose yourself in the sound. “And may I remind you that you’re the one who asked to go for coffee, so I thought maybe you wanted to take things slow. And I don’t mind that either. But uh, I’ve also just been waiting for you to initiate.”

You give him a shy smile. “Hey, I just really wanted to talk to you after and know if that mouth is as good at talking as it is at kissing,” you giggle. 

“And?”

“And it is, obviously!” You pout. “I wouldn’t be spending everyday with you if I didn’t think so. I’ve been openly flirting and so have you but you haven’t tried kissing me again. And I wanted you to be the one to do it but you haven’t, so I brought it up. I mean, you looked so confident doing it last week.”

Yoongi thinks you’re the most adorable person in this world. How you could want him like this yet also want him to show he wants you just as much is making him want to just smother you in kisses. 

“Because I’d just played a game and basketball makes me confident,” he replies. 

“So what, you’re only gonna kiss me after you play?” You cross your arms now. 

“No,” he chuckles, cupping your face in his hands. “I’m gonna kiss you now.”

He leans down and captures your lips in a kiss, which goes slow for only a few seconds before it turns deep and heady. He doesn’t dominate, letting you bite his lips and swirl your tongue around his mouth. He holds you steady with his hands though, just so he could be at the right angle that would allow him to kiss you hard as he likes. 

Yoongi finally pulls away, feeling like he won't be able to stop if he keeps going. You’re in front of your house, after all, and late it may be, your hushed moans could still be heard by anyone who happens to pass by.

You have a cheeky, satisfied smile on. You tease by pecking his lips again and again until he gives you one last kiss. He hugs you tightly and you immediately melt into it.

“It’s been a long day, I’m gonna have to let you go now,” he hums against your ear. 

“Okay,” you respond, stepping out of the car. “Can’t wait to do this again tomorrow.”

You only get to see Yoongi the next day in the afternoon, as their coach wanted them to get a good workout before the game. You got over the disappointment quickly, as you spent all the time before then with Taehyung, who not surprisingly freaked out and wouldn’t stop asking if you two were officially a couple. You haven’t talked about it, you said, but you knew you eventually would. 

You do like the thrill; you can’t wait for things to escalate physically, but more than anything, you just like spending time with Yoongi. There’s something so comfortable about being in his presence. For someone who likes the buzz of the big city, his calm and quiet aura is a breath of fresh air for you. 

Yoongi’s focus during the game was such a sexy sight to see, even more when he’d sneak in a glance or a smirk during timeouts, and when he’d look unbothered after making a 3-point shot, and when he’d drag his tongue through his teeth during dead balls. It’s the fact that you know he’s doing them on purpose because you’re watching, and that’s what makes you pull him into Jungkook’s lone bathroom in the apartment later that evening, just so you could make out with him again.

The rest of the week is mostly spent with him again, save for the days your father asks you to be home to be with your grandparents. You both walk around the town, visit the basketball court where he first played, and then kiss in between. 

That Friday, he takes you out on a proper dinner date where he picks you up at Taehyung’s house with a bouquet of marigolds, and you ruin your lipstick after kissing him intensely before you even get to the restaurant. 

It’s Monday when he takes you to the outskirts of town to swim at a lake. It’s the area that’s less populated and you’re both lucky that you’re the only ones here on a nice summer day. You enjoy your picnic as you talk about the most random things, and then you strip down to your bathing suit and swim in the water.

Yoongi stays on the mat; the outdoors isn’t really his thing. But you’ve been talking about doing new and fun activities and he thought about this one, knowing you’ll enjoy it. You clearly are, as evidenced by your squeals and soft laughter as you float around and moan at the feel of the water on your skin.

His mind tries not to imagine things, given your sounds and the way you look absolutely stunning in your swimwear. Kissing you has been so good. Sure, his hands travel down your waist every time as he gets lost in how you taste, but he’s never tried to do more, and you’ve never really hinted on wanting to do more. He’ll continue to wait patiently though, but it’s not even all that he wants from you.

It may be a little naive to think but he finds himself being something more with you. Yoongi isn’t even the type to fall at first sight; he’s a patient man who knows that love and relationships take a while to build. But you’re unlike anything he’s ever really thought he wanted. 

It’s your unabashed joy, your bluntness, your curiosity and general love for things. It’s your energy and how you talk about your dreams and the confidence you have in yourself that inspires him to dream better. You’re different and alike in many ways, and as the unaffectionate person that he is, he finds himself just wanting to be near you with fingers just grazing so he’d know you’re just next to him. 

He’s thinking about how sweet your smile is when he realizes that he no longer hears your voice. Scanning the lake, he finds your head popping in and out of the water. You look a little winded and definitely not alright. His mind goes into panic mode and he rushes to the water with his clothes still on and finds his way to you.

He wraps his one hand around your waist and feels for your leg to make sure it’s touching the ground. You cough a bit before you turn towards him.

“Are you okay?” He asks worriedly.

“You don’t like the water,” you say, disregarding his question.

“I don’t. Are you okay?”

“And you hate it when your clothes are wet.”

“I do. ___, are you okay?” 

You hum your yes, a cheeky smile painting your face as your one arm wraps around his shoulder for support while you stretch your limbs.

Yoongi eyes you curiously. “___, did you pretend to be drowning just so I’d get in the water with you?”

“Nope, I’m too good at swimming to know how to pretend-drown,” you laugh, feeling only a little bad for scaring him. “I got cramps, though.”

“Shit,” he groans, knowing as an athlete that cramps are the worst, especially while swimming. “Let’s get back on shore.”

You push yourself through the water, not wanting to let go of him just yet. You’d panicked only slightly earlier when you felt that sensation on your leg, and you tried to keep your head above water for oxygen. Once you’d felt Yoongi wrap his arm around you and look worried, especially since you know that he hates the water, your heart started to stabilize. 

He helps you sit on the mat as he stretches out your legs. You tell him where it hurts as he instructs, and he massages where you point, starting from your calf. 

His hands are a mix of rough and smooth against you. This is the most he’s touched your skin and it’s enough to make your mind short-circuit, especially as your eyes focus on his slender fingers, gently pressing against you. You can think of so many other ways he can use those fingers on you, and you don’t really mind the dirty thoughts now because it’s definitely helping you to forget the pain. 

He’s focused on you while you’re focused on him, and it’s when he does this circular motion that you make a guttural sound. 

“Is this okay?” He glances at you.

“Higher,” you instruct, and he stops behind your knee before he massages again. 

“Higher,” you say once more, and he proceeds to work on your hamstring area. 

The tips of his fingers graze the skin close to your thigh. He seems to not have noticed because he still looks quite serious; he probably feels the tightness because you can feel it, in areas that aren’t just on your leg. 

But he’s teasing you unknowingly, and you just want him to touch you. You have a feeling he’s waiting for his cue again so you think to give it to him.

“Just a bit higher,” you whisper, the sultry tone of your voice perhaps giving you away, as his eyes lock with yours and it dawns on him that he’s reaching uncharted territory. “It’s not my leg anymore that hurts.”

“Fuck,” he chuckles, knowing exactly what you mean. 

He’d been so fixated on managing your cramps because he’s experienced it so many times and it sucks, and he just wanted to make sure you were okay right away. It doesn’t matter if he hates the water and being wet with his clothes on but he realized he’d swim the depths of the ocean to save you any day.

But your words shake him off his focused state and he also realizes that his fingers are way higher than he remembers them being. He tries to steady the beating of his excited but nervous heart, yet it’s your cheeky, almost desperate eyes and the way you’re squeezing your thighs that prompts him to make a move.

“You’re dangerous, you know that?” He mumbles in your ear, surprising you with a deep press of his palm against your clothed cunt. 

You moan at the act, unsurprisingly wanting more.

“No. You are the dangerous one, Min Yoongi,” you pant, as his fingers slide up and down your slit. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

Yoongi helps you to go to the back of his car, wet clothes and all. He makes you come twice - the first time with his fingers, the second with his mouth.

The place is buzzing as you look around, with new and familiar faces clearly enjoying the vibe of tonight’s party. It’s one of the rich kids’ birthdays so she threw an all-you-can-drink event at the college bar that everyone frequents. As honorary members of Yoongi and crew’s group, you and Taehyung attend and end up enjoying too much. 

Especially you, as you cling onto Yoongi’s arm while his hand caresses the inside of your thigh under the table, something that you guided him to do. You lean on his shoulder as you laugh at your drunk best friend’s banter with your not-boyfriend, and you feel the alcohol slowly hitting your system. This is how you know you’ve had a lot more than you intended and you hate it. You wanted to be able to kiss Yoongi one more time tonight and remember it. 

His warm breath against your face makes you smile, and Yoongi chuckles before asking you if you want to go home already. You vigorously shake your head no, your drunk babbling making him smile, but it’s when you almost slide off the chair that he decides you should probably rest now. 

You’re sleeping over at Taehyung’s place, who’s almost as drunk as you are, both of you going on about partying similarly back in Seoul. 

Yoongi tries his best to manage both of you, including a barely-awake Jungkook whom he drops off first. Arriving at Taehyung’s place, Yoongi is surprised to find it empty. 

“My parents are away,” Taehyung mumbles.

“Ooh, you can stay with us first,” you giggle. “More time with you, baby.”

It’s the first time you’ve called him that, and much as he wants to hear it some more and cuddle with you, he knows he shouldn’t. So with all his strength, he helps you and Taehyung up the stairs and takes you to the guest room. You sit on the edge of the bed, mind in a haze as you drink the water that Yoongi gives you, and somehow that just causes you to run to the toilet and puke. 

He takes the hair tie from your wrist to pull your hair into a bun and then rubs your back to aid you. You do feel much better after, and he even helps you wash your face and brush your teeth, given that you insist on kissing him one last time before he leaves.

You make it to the bed while Taehyung sleepily walks to his room, and it’s Yoongi’s soft kiss on your forehead that you remember before falling asleep.

Waking up early after a night of drinking isn’t new to you. After staring at the ceiling for a good 10 minutes and trying to remember how you and your best friend got home, you get off the bed then go to the living room. You’ve just gone back down after leaving Taehyung with some aspirin when the doorbell rings, wondering who it could be. 

You’re surprised to see Yoongi standing at the door, and he holds up a bag of what he says is breakfast that he bought on the way here. 

“Good morning,” he hums against your lips, as you basically jump on him at the sight of his smile. “Did you sleep well?”

“I guess,” you say, walking to the kitchen. “I just remember lying in bed and then waking up. Did you drive us home?”

“Yup.”

“And dragged our drunk asses to bed?”

“Yup.”

“What a sweet guy,” you tease, standing in front of him to kiss him again. 

“I knew you needed your beauty sleep.”

You giggle before helping him with the food, and you say that you could both go ahead because Taehyung won’t be up in a few hours. 

So you enjoy your breakfast and the hangover soup, which your best friend devours once he wakes up at lunch time. His parents will arrive in the evening so the 3 of you stay at home, get some food delivered, and play video games at Taehyung's insistence.

It's 6PM but he already wants to sleep, he says, wanting to save his energy for online games until early morning with Jungkook, so you and Yoongi decide to leave.

“Should I take you home now?” He asks as he starts the car.

“Hmm, it’s too early,” you say. “Do you think we can hang out at your place?”

It’s been a month since you both met; 3 weeks since admitting that you’ve been wanting to kiss each other again badly. You’ve both pretty much gone everywhere around town, except for his college dorm. He’d have wanted you there earlier but he wasn’t sure of what it would imply or what you’d think of it, and so hearing you suggest it is making him more excited than he should be.

“Sure,” he says casually. 

There’s a sea of butterflies in your stomach and you can’t really hide your smile. The thought of being in a private place alone with him is giving you all these ideas, and all of them involve having your skin against his. 

You pause the thoughts in your head and focus on something else. You realize that the radio is turned way down, so you turn the volume up a bit, saying that you would’ve expected him to have the music up.

“You talk a lot,” he says, earning him a gasp until he clarifies. “I don’t mean it in a bad way. You just have a lot of thoughts and you express them. I like listening.”

“Oh.”

“I’d hold your hand, too, but you use it to talk so I don’t.”

“You can always hold onto my thigh,” you suggest, causing him to chuckle. 

He removes his hand from the brake and lays it on your inner thigh, and you hum in response at his warm touch. 

“Is this Taehyung’s shirt?” He asks.

“Yeah. I forgot to bring clothes to his place.”

Yoongi merely hums and goes back to driving quietly, and you can’t help but watch him from your side, one hand on the wheel and the other on you. It feels so comfortable and domestic but something about it is so sexy; it almost feels like foreplay for you.

You make it to his place, a small studio that has all the necessities. 

“It’s tight but it works,” he hums, clearing his 2-seater couch for you to sit. 

You make yourself snug on it, imagining how days would be like just being with him here. Days of cuddling and maybe more. You know he’s thinking it; he’s been looking a little nervous since you suggested going to his apartment and just like the second kiss, maybe you should be the one to initiate this, too.

“Do you have a shirt I can borrow?” You ask. “This smells too much like Tae.”

Yoongi hums his yes and walks towards his closet. You take the opportunity to remove the one you’re wearing, leaving you with nothing but your underwear on. 

He turns around and freezes at the sight of you, his eyes unmoving from your body while you remain standing there, the heat creating up your neck at the feeling of being ogled at like this.

“Guess you don’t need this anymore,” he says, tossing the shirt on his bed. 

He walks there without turning away from you, then he sits on the edge and his look suddenly turns soft. He reaches out his hand, which you take, and he motions you to sit on his lap. Straddling him on his bed, you wrap your arms around his neck then kiss him deeply. He steadies you with a hold of your hips, and you can’t help but grind against him as the tension starts to build up.

Yoongi doesn’t say anything. When he pulls away from the kiss, he unhooks your bra, cups your swell breasts, and then sucks them. You let out a restrained cry; it’s so stimulating as he skillfully licks and nips your nipples while you grind against his clothed body. 

“Yoongi,” you moan, just completely lost in the feel of his mouth on your chest, with his warm tongue gliding around your sensitive areas.

He doesn’t rush, he doesn’t go too hard; he just follows a pace that lets him savor the perfect way your body was created for him to taste and touch and feel. He thinks he’s in heaven. 

Your back arches and this isn’t how he wants you to go; he wants you comfortable and able to feel pleasure all over your body. So he stops momentarily and lays you on your back. His eyes still on you, he pulls your underwear off, humming in satisfaction at the string of your essence that attaches from the clothing he removes.

He spreads you open to see what he’s up against, and you tell him that there’s no need to prepare you anymore; your entire body is ready for him.

Removing his clothes, he remarks, “so this is why you wanted to come here, huh?”

“If you weren’t gonna suggest it, then I would,” you bite back. “I just wanted to be with you. And feel you inside me.”

He smirks then takes a condom from his shelf, looking at you the whole time he puts it on. He wants you so badly. He’s imagined this so many times, yet seeing you naked on his bed, ready and yearning for him, is still so much more than what his mind could conjure. His body’s screaming for you, but you look at him with so much desire that his heart melts at the thought of him being so lucky that you could want him as much as he wants you.

Hovering over you, you see that softness in his eyes again. He cups your cheek and caresses it and you melt into his touch immediately.

“I’m not always good at saying things,” he admits, wanting to say more - that he’s never felt so content, so satisfied, so happy. 

“I know, and that’s okay,” you smile. “You do them, and that’s what matters.”

He nods in understanding. He’s generally good with words, but expressing what he feels to someone through them, especially if it’s someone he’s come to care so much about, isn’t his strongest suit. Sure, he’s much more perceptive and introspective than most would think; they usually just chalk it up to his disinterest and detachment. 

But Yoongi is very observant, and he’s known from that first day that you were into him. He knew he was in trouble because he was so, so into you. He’s thankful you don’t mind his shyness, with the bursts of confidence only coming in every once a while. If anything, you seem to like how he normally is. But tonight, he’ll at least try.

Pushing into you, he feels the sensation all over his body. You’re warm and every perfect thing out there. You take him so well and he just wants to live in this. 

“You feel so good,” he whispers in your ear, thrusting in and out and hitting you deeper every time. “Fuck, you’re made for me.”

His voice is low and deep. You feel like you just had an orgasm. 

“Oh god,” you mewl, meeting his thrusts and no longer caring how loud you are. 

He fits inside you so perfectly; you don’t think your pussy is made for anyone else. He knows just the right pace to build up the tension so satisfyingly, that when he sucks on your nipple, you crash so suddenly, and it’s a damn good fall that has you wanting more.

Yoongi comes, with his head slotted in the crook of your need as he breathes against your skin, sending shivers down your spine wanting even more of him. After coming down from both your highs, you do it again, much rougher this time, with you on all-fours, feeling him at the edge of your being as he pushes hard, leaving half-moon crescents on your hips. 

Tired and hungry from what felt like a marathon, you whip up some instant noodles for your second dinner - you ate each other, after all - and then cuddle with him in bed as you still try to process just how good he’d fucked you.

“Your father’s not looking for you?” He asks, as he plays with your hair while you lay on his chest. 

“Nope, he just lets me do and go wherever as long as I tell him where I am “ you say. “And right now, I’m at Taehyung’s.”

“Hope he won’t wonder why you’ll always be there, then.”

“If this is your way of asking me over again tomorrow, then it’s a yes.”

Yoongi chuckles and kisses your forehead. 

He can make you come multiple times and look at you like he’ll devour you but at the end of the day, Yoongi will always, always kiss your forehead. It’s the one thing he does that says everything, you think, and perhaps that’s why you feel as much as you do.

It’s the buzz of your phone indicating multiple messages that wakes you up this time, and if it wasn’t for you seeing the time that it’s already lunchtime, you wouldn’t have known the sun was even out. Yoongi’s blinds are so good, they block out an entire day. 

You shift out of his hold to get a little bit of light in, then you nuzzle his neck to try to wake him up.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” you whisper. “You have a pickup game with the guys in the afternoon.”

Yoongi lets out the lowest of grunts but he doesn’t budge. 

You pepper his cheek with kisses, and though his groans get louder, there’s no indication he wants to actually wake up. You wrap your legs around him and give him a tight hug. You try to tickle him this time and it gets him to move only a little bit.

“Jagi-ya,” he groans, the tone pretty much asking you to stop. 

But you stare at him though, unbelieving of the term of endearment he just used on you. You want to climb on top of him and kiss him awake so you do just that.

“Hey, wake up. You told me to make sure you’re ready by 2.”

“Jagi,” he says louder now. “5 minutes.”

“Only if you call me that again.”

Ironically, it’s what gets him to wake up.

“You like that?” He asks, his eyes now half open. 

“Yes,” you smile giddily. “It’s sweet and cute.”

“Okay, then I’ll say it again. Let’s go back to sleep, jagi,” he says, hugging you tight against his chest.

You give in but you don’t really sleep. You just lay on him comfortably, feeling like on cloud 9 as you enjoy these moments with him.

He does wake up 15 minutes later, but by that time, you’d brushed your teeth, watched him lie comfortably on the bed, and got to the glaringly obvious truth about what you feel.

Laying down next to him again, you finally tell him. 

“I like you, Yoongi. I like you a lot.”

You smile at his flustered smile, and you want more of it so you continue. 

“And I know things happened pretty fast. We kissed first before anything else but this isn’t just all lust or some summer whirlwind romance chick flick,” you try to explain. “You’re so caring and protective and kind and so fucking sexy. Like, it’s possible to be attracted-at-first-look but I might’ve already liked you when you caressed my cheek when you first kissed me.”

He chuckles at your statement.

“I’m serious. That hand is deadly,” you argue.

He cups your cheek again to tease, but you know he’s just distracting himself.

“You know I like you, too,” he finally says, and you’re unable to stop yourself from giggling right on his chest, clearly flustered and giddy. 

“At this rate, you’re gonna be in love with me by the time summer ends,” he adds.

“I have a feeling that’s exactly what’s gonna happen,” you smile, kissing his lips softly. 

But you lie. You might already do.

Series Masterlist

Permanent Taglist: @sherlynxx @di0rgguk @thequeen-kat @fan-ati--c  @cravingforhotchocolate @adoraminie @helenazbmrskai @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @gukssunshine @nch327 @kookxin @petuliii @yoursthv @libra04 @fancycollectormoon @twixxxpie @ignoretheskies @ohmydarlin-g @bids97 @minyoongiboongi @bangtansmauyeondan @bora-bae7 @investedreader @petalsofink @moonchild1 @jvngkooker @starbtslove​ @jungoomoles 

Series Taglist: @wobblewobble822​​​ @shydestinyyouth​ @nk01119888-blog

[noctumbra]

                       𝒊. 𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕

🍂 summary ─ coffee house shenenigans on a rainy day comes with a welcomed surprise. 

🍂 pairing ─ farmer!bucky barnes x reader

🍂 warnings ─ fluff, animal lover bucky, puppies love him, so do cats, soft!bucky

🍂 a/n ─ first part!!!! hope you like it!!! i’m writing the fifth part right now, so i figure the updates will be constant. i also plan on completing this series before october ends, so bear with me thnx ily

p.s.: the parts are not long lol. i lost my wriitng long af mojo jsyk

The weather was melancholic that day; grey and depressed clouds were hanging too low on the sky, letting their tears wash over the city and making everyone that their tears touched sad and tired. People were walking around with rushed steps, and their umbrellas were open to stop the rain wetting them and their clothes.

You were one of them before you barged into your favorite coffee shop, your clothes and hair half-wet and umbrella broken. You placed the broken item at the entrance where it could drain all the water it gathered from the rain, and you walked inside.

The place was crowded because of the weather, but not as much as it was during a sunny day. People were tired, wet and done with their busy week as they sipped on their coffee, munched on their dessert. You could see some people dozing on their seats; the heat of the coffee shop making them sleepy after a busy work day. Honestly, you could relate, because it would have been amazing if you could nap here for half an hour, but that was the exact reason why you were getting coffee.

“Hey, Wanda,” you greeted the woman at the register. Wanda beamed at you with a wide smile. Her green eyes sparkled happily, and her hands immediately grabbed the usual size of coffee cup you go with. You smiled. “Yeah, Americano this time, though.” Wanda frowned a little as she scribbled your order and name before turning back to you.

“Is everything okay?” She asked. You’ve been coming here long enough for you and Wanda to be friends, and you were grateful for her friendship, if you had to be honest. You nodded.

“Just tired, and I have stuff I need to finish before it’s Saturday,” you explained. “So, Americano.” Wanda made a sad face and let out a broken sound. “I know, I’ll stick to green tea or chamomile on the weekend, don’t worry.”

“Good,” she murmured. You paid for your order and bid her goodbye. Just as you put your wallet in your bag again, your name was called by Pietro, her brother, and you took your coffee from him. Pietro sent you a friendly smile. His almost white hair was shining under the soft, yellow lights, and his boyish charm was fully on. Your lips curled upwards for a soft smile.

“Take care,” he said, and you nodded.

“I will, thanks, Pietro,” you murmured. He winked at you and started on another order. You held your coffee close to your chest, hands wrapped around it, and looked for an empty space.

The shop was almost full; every table had a friend group or a couple occupying it. Your eye caught an empty table at the very corner, and you hurried towards it before someone got to it first. You placed your bag and coffee, settling down on the chair and taking a deep breath.

This week’s work was somehow more tiring than all the other weeks. There were so much people to talk, so much meeting to attend, so much paperwork to fill, so much patience testing… You were glad it was weekend and had some time to reset before another tiring week started. You sighed. Grabbing your coffee your sipped from it slowly, being extra careful about not burning your tongue.

There was a reason why this coffee shop was your favorite: It was incredibly animal friendly. Anyone who was a pet owner could walk inside with their pets as long as they kept them by their sides, and cleaned their paws before leading them inside. You have already seen a handful of cats trotting around, jumping on tables and startling people for some scritches. There were a couple dogs, some were big and some were just puppies. The smile on your lips widened as your eyes followed the small creatures brought joy on people’s tired faces. Your eyes moved from animals to people, and you started watching people in the shop talking, laughing and smiling at each other when you saw him.

He was sitting at the other corner. He had a baggy, soft-looking knitted sweater on him. His face was clean shaven, and his hair was up in a cute bun. Some strands of it had fallen on his face, shadowing his beautiful features slightly. They didn’t stop you from seeing his knife-sharp jawline, his very pretty blue eyes and full, pink lips smiling at the animals winding around his ankles.

You watched him pet a puppy, watched him chuckle softly and give the animal a big smile before scooping them up on his lap to love them easily. The puppy yipped, its tail wagging madly as it got showered with love of that stranger man. Your tummy fluttered with a warm feeling, and you smiled. You could see how loving the guy’s petting was: His large palms were rubbing the dog’s belly, behind his ears and under chin while his long and thick fingers were playing with its paws sometimes. You heard the dog yip again and saw him dropping the animal down with a soft laugh. You chuckled into your coffee.

He heard you.

Lifting his head, his blue eyes immediately found yours, and he sent a wide smile at you. You felt the heat reaching up to your cheeks. Hesitantly lifting your hand, you waved at him once. He waved at you back, but his hand got attacked by a playful cat right behind him. He let out a surprised sound right before he got a lapful of cat. You laughed. He blushed and rolled his eyes.

You continued to sip your coffee while watching him playing and petting the cat on his lap, the book in front of him was long forgotten. You felt your body warm up at the sight. You’ve always found men attractive who were animal lovers, and there was something about him that just made you feel cozy and warm and soft. You weirdly loved the feeling.

Your phone chimed in your bag, and you scrambled to get it. It was a text message from your mother about tonight’s dinner, and you groaned inwardly. You downed the rest of your coffee, spared a longing look towards the handsome guy petting the cat and stood up. He noticed your movement and looked at you. He smiled, sending you a small goodbye wave, and turned his attention back to the cat. You sighed.

Some other day maybe, you thought. Maybe some other day I’ll ask him out.

That day wasn’t today, though, so you walked out of the shop and stepped into the rainy, muddy and melancholic day.

Throughout the whole day and night, the guy from the coffee shop occupied your mind. You kept thinking about how cozy looking he was, how loving he was towards the small creatures around him. Your mind kept replaying the time when he smiled at you. It got your tummy and heart flipping constantly.

It was hard to focus on your task of helping your mother cook. If she noticed your distracted self, she didn’t comment on it. You noticed that she gave you tasks where you wouldn’t be cutting or making yourself bleed, so you were thankful for her watchful eyes.

“Honey,” your mother called out softly. You hummed. “I got us fresh apples; can you make your apple pie?” You made an excited sound and looked where your mother was pointing at.

It was a whole basket of nicely grown apples, winking and calling to you.

“Of course!” You exclaimed. You loved baking, and your mother indulged in your hobby whenever she could. You quickly, but carefully, finished your task in hand before getting your hands on the apples. You picked one up and brought it to your nose, inhaling deeply.

It smelt like everything safe, cozy and love. You loved it.

“Where did you get them?” You asked your mother. She shrugged.

“There is this small market where they sell self-grown stuff,” she explained. “Normally there is an old guy who’s selling these, but recently, his son has been coming out to the market, and he said these were his first batch. I couldn’t stop myself, honestly.” You chuckled. Your mother, the ever-loving, big softie. You kissed her cheek. She grumbled, but there was a smile on her lips. “Get to it,” she grunted. You grinned and kissed her other cheek before moving on to bake your pie.

You were going to make your best apple pie for the honor of the guy’s first batch of apples. It only served them right.

[petrichorandarson]

Hozier Unheard Liveblogging Time

Too Sweet

wake up dark as a lake- no yeah that is SUCH a good description

oh the way the instruments drop out before the first chorus- OH OH OHHH

sit in a barrel- no yeah this. this is how i feel about making friends with people who aren't traumatized or neurodivergent, like. we are not the same i'm so sorry but you'RE TOO SWEET FOR MEEE

yeah this is everything I was hoping for based on the teaser

those BELLS

Wildflower and Barley

BIRDSONG!!!! cherry wine my beloved

wow i can SMELL this song. it's sweet and warm sunshine and a little sultry, maybe? and peaceful. it's also got some like 70's vibes?

thAT'S THE TITLE-

this feels like summery depression and executive dysfunction and trying and trying. gosh i'm obsessed. i want to take a nap in the sun.

Empire now

i'm SO excited fuck colonialism

OH THE HIGH NOTE

a world that's easy now- shout out to "freedom from england" being the most celebrated event worldwide

so bright it's burning- empire in which the sun never sets, global warming, optimistic and sarcastic at the same time! i'm FERAL

Fare Well

love how it's two words, not just goodbye but genuinely wishing one to fare well

oh ho hoo i love what he's doing. devastated about the animal metaphors tho.

ah yes desperate, potentially-self-destructive searching for relief. my old frenemy.

in conclusion:

mr hozier sir i am unwell. and you wrote about it????? i am now even more unwell! thanks i'm listening for 5ever

[honniedonnie]

Did you know Fennec foxed mate for life? Tighnari x GN!Reader ANGST

TW/CW: Major character death, (the reader is already dead) grief, depression, faking a happy personality, hurt/no comfort, mention of intense pain, you are cremated (out of spite, rant at the end)

Pronouns: They/Them

Notes: 1(one) mention of Y/N, the rest are pronouns or pet names. (i.e. darling, my love, etc.) You and Tighnari were married. I Wrote a mini rant at the end that was supposed to be included at the beginning, but it got longer that what I thought. (that’s what she said lol)

Word Count: 675 words

EDIT: whoops, there's a part 2 (two) also part 3 (three)

Masterlist

This is going to be my first time writing fanfiction since 2017 (I was 14 years old…) The only reason I’m writing is because I’ve got MAJOR brainrot over this Prompt 

By the way if there are any grammar issues please tell me. I will fix them because I apparently have anxiety over making a grammar mistake(s). (I learn something new about myself)

“Fennec foxes are monogamous and mate for life” (source - Fennec Fox | San Diego Zoo Animals & Plants)

‘It was supposed to be a simple walk, it was supposed to be a simple walk, it was supposed to be a simple walk’ Tighnari’s mind repeated the same sentence over and over again along with the image of his lover's dead body. Tighnari looked over your urn, twisting the gold ring on his left hand. You were only cremated after a couple days of discovering your body, your cause of death was clear; you decided to go for a walk into Avidya Forest, and decided to take a nap near a patch of flowers, only to never wake up. A withering zone appeared when you were sleeping. You died peacefully, at least that is what the coroner told him. Nightmares plagued his sleep; him seeing you in pain, and there was nothing he could do except to watch you die. The same nightmare; over and over again. There was a period of time that he absolutely refused to sleep; replacing sleep with caffeinated teas. It got to the point where Collei and other Forest Watchers had to replace his caffeinated tea leaves with calming/sleeping tea leaves. It took some time for Tighnari to believe that you died peacefully, and even longer for him to stop blaming himself over your death. (even though there was nothing he could’ve done) 

Eventually he forced himself to be happy; to be his former self. Even though his former self died alongside you. While the Forest Watchers and Rangers were relieved to have their Chief Officer back, they still had to be careful whenever they mention you. Even if he’s 100 feet away he can still hear them talking; talking about you, how you were too young, how heartbroken the Chief Officer was (is) about your death, and evening wondering if he would move on! Once he heard, oh boy was he furious. How dare they even think about that. Move on from the LOVE OF HIS LIFE! His lover, his darling, his partner, the person whom he’d married! Him?! Find someone else? He still has his wedding ring underneath his gloves, for Archons’ sake! Poor Collei had to drag him away before something bad happened. 

Tighnari’s was never the same after you passed. Around the days before and after your and his birthdays, anniversaries (both wedding and death) he refuses to leave his home, spending days taking care of the memorial he had for you. Cleaning your urn, clearing the dust from your self-portrait he had commissioned for as a birthday gift. (Took a lot of self restraint to not cry at the portrait, but sometimes he fails) He does try and get better, but how can he when he wakes up to an empty spot on the bed. How can he when you’re not there to kiss him goodbye and tell him to have a great day, and to be safe! Oh, and also not to eat some random mushrooms… again. How can he when everything reminds him of you, how can he…

“Collei, who’s (Y/N)?” A certain floating companion asked. A golden-haired traveler pondered as well; who was this mysterious person? 

“Shh, lower your voice Paimon.” Collei looked all over as if she was looking for someone. Deemed it to be safe, Collei answered the question. 

“They’re, I mean they were Master Tighnari’s spouse, umm they’d passed away a couple of years ago. He’s still grieving, so please don’t mention them in front of him!” Collei pleaded with the traveling duo. 

“Wait…How did you know about them?” “We overheard one of the Forest Rangers mentioning them”

“I see… Though I’m a little bit offended you didn’t ask me about my spouse” A new voice speaks out. 

“Tighnari! Hehe, you were here! Wait, your spouse? Aren’t they, you know, dead?” Paimon insensitively asked. Only realizing her mistake after seeing the faces of the traveler and Collei. “Don’t you know? My kind, we only have 1 (one) mate for life”

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I’m taking a wild guess that burials are the norm considering A FUNERAL PARLOR EXIST! (I know some funeral parlors offer cremation services) Also Mondstadt has a cemetery behind the cathedral. ALSO HU TAO’S VOICE LINES (2 (two) lines about coffins, and 1(one) mention of burial) (Also if Liyue, Inazuma, and Sumeru are inspired by asian countries, then CREMATION SHOULD BE THE PREFERED METHOD OVER A BURIAL (source- List of countries by cremation rate - Wikipedia)) You know what! NO YOU ARE FUCKING CREAMATED I AM DOING IT OUT OF SPITE!

[glatisant-questing]

Souji's Short Story from Hakuoki Manyo Limited Edition Booklet (Translation)

Newbie + hobbyist here translating random Hakuoki stuff I came upon. This is Souji's short story in the Manyo no shou limited edition booklet.

---

“So, Souji, see you later!” “Sou-san, bye-bye! Let’s play together again later!” In the twilight, the children who had just played with me waved their hands innocently and said goodbye. “Okay, see you later. Be careful on your way home.” I smiled and answered, and the children ran away energetically. (Today I also tried my best to play with everyone, I’m very happy…) But as I watched the children running away into the twilight, I felt a bit lonely. (Today I’m responsible for buying the ingredients for dinner. It’s really troublesome… If I don’t go, I’ll be scolded by Mr. Hijikata again.) To confirm what to buy, I went to find Uncle Gen. At this time, Uncle Gen was probably in the meeting room. Thinking so, I opened the door and wanted to check the situation inside. “Huh?” What came into my sight was a person who was drowsily asleep. She was probably sewing halfway through, and she still had a kimono with torn cuffs and hems in her hand. (It’s really dangerous to fall asleep like this with a needle in your hand. What if you get hurt?) It is rare that she should fall asleep in such a place. (The Shinsengumi has been very busy lately, Chizuru-chan is also busy with various chores ordered by Mr. Hijikata.) As I thought so, I quietly looked at her sleeping face. If I were in Chizuru-chan’s position, I would wake up as soon as I felt someone enter the meeting room. (You’re full of flaws… Just like this, showing a carefree sleeping face…)

While surprised that she was so lacking in vigilance, I couldn’t help but envy her past life before coming to Kyoto. She didn't have to put her life in danger as constantly as we did. “Hey~ Chizuru-chan, wake up! If Mr. Hijikata knows you’re napping here, he’ll lecture you again.” As I said so, I gently poked her face with my finger. Her cheek felt soft like mochi. Soon, her closed eyelids trembled slightly and opened a little. “…?!” She blinked a few times and seemed to gradually come to her senses. Her eyes rolled around. “Mr. Okita! This is…!” Seeing her like this, I just smiled and answered. “Good morning, Chizuru-chan. You slept very well. But this is not your room, it’s the meeting room shared by the Shinsengumi.” “I’m sorry! I…!” She apologized to me several times with a very interesting expression of confusion. She herself seemed to have no idea that her very easy-to-understand reaction would make the other Shinsengumi members, including me, want to tease her even more. “What if I told Mr. Hijikata? He might scold you ‘What are you lazy for!’ And besides, there are also people in the Shinsengumi who doubt your identity or even suspect that you are a woman.” “…I’m sorry.” Even though this was just my joke, she still apologized seriously. “It’s just a joke. I didn’t mean for you to take those words seriously. Rather than that, you have drool on your mouth corner.” “Eh–really!” Chizuru-chan hurriedly wiped her mouth corner with her finger. “That was also a joke. By the way, how long has it been since you started helping us? I hope you can feel more at home…” “Was that also a joke…” Hearing my words, she seemed very depressed and her shoulders drooped. Seeing Chizuru-chan like this, I said. “By the way, I’m going to buy the ingredients for dinner with Uncle Gen. Do you know where I can find him?” “I think he’s mostly in the kitchen. I’m also going to go with Uncle Gen. Let’s go together!” After saying that, she started to put away the sewing tools she had used into the needle box. “Is that it? Is it okay to end halfway?” “I do these chores whenever I have time. I’ll continue at night.” She said so firmly. “If you stay up late like this, you’ll nap again like before.” Chizuru-chan seemed to be stung by these words and she couldn’t help but let out a “hmm…” and then fell silent. But soon after, she raised her head and answered. “…Today I failed because I was distracted. I’ll be careful next time.” She looked at me straight in the eye and said that. “Hmm…” Although I agreed with a lack of interest, I still muttered in my heart. (If you say everything so honestly, you’ll be laughed at by people, right? But, it’s also because of this personality that it’s fun to watch you.) “Mr. Okita, what’s wrong? You look like you’re smiling. Did I say something strange?” She asked me with a bit of anxiety. But since I was asked like this, I didn’t want to answer seriously even more. “Are you still not awake? Surely everything you say is strange to me.” “That’s…! Well, specifically, what’s strange?” Chizuru-chan asked me nervously again. “So didn’t I say it’s everything you say?” I said to her lightly and walked to the kitchen with her.

That night. I woke up unexpectedly and decided to go to the kitchen for some water. I was curious about what happened during the day, so on my way back to my room, I decided to check on Chizuru-chan’s room. It was just as I had expected. There was a faint light coming from the crack of the door. She seemed to be still awake and busy with something. (Even though I reminded her that much during the day, she still did this…) My kindness seemed to be wasted, which made me a bit angry. I walked towards her room and thought. (Maybe I should remind her more sternly and make her go to bed early.) As I thought so, I suddenly stopped. (It’s not my business if she wants to stay up late… If I talk to her now, she might think I’m watching her and worrying about what happened during the day… But if she doesn’t sleep at night, will she fall asleep inadvertently again tomorrow?) As I was thinking about these things in my heart, the light in Chizuru-chan’s room went out. There was some noise at first, but soon it turned into a steady breathing of sleeping soundly. “Good night, Chizuru-chan.” I said softly and returned to my room.

—fin—

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Thanks for the memories (A/N)

So.

Discussion of slightly heavy topics and maybe TMI ahead. Point is this.

A couple people might have known that this was a long time coming, but here it is: the day I officially leave the Maribat fandom.

I may continue to update a few fics that I’m genuinely passionate about, but I wouldn’t count on it.

While writing Maribat, I’ve never had the most healthy mindset. I started writing during an antidepressant-induced manic episode during September of 2020. I continued writing afterwards only out of obligation since my fic at the time, Soulmarks, was not done yet. However, I quickly realized that, when writing, I would get comments, and the positive affirmation felt amazing to someone going through a particularly bad depressive episode. I got addicted to comments, kudos, and hits. I would spend hours a day refreshing my ao3 author page constantly and bask in the dopamine I would get from every new interaction. And, in those hours, I would write until my hands hurt (and, sometimes, far past that). Because if I wrote more, I could post more, and I would get more in return.

But, as time moved on, people began to leave as they found other things to obsess over. What had been a somewhat manageable problem and mildly unhealthy mindset began to spiral. The threshold for dopamine hits kept increasing. Hits and kudos were no longer enough, I needed comments in particular, and then comments that were more than just emojis, and then… well, you get the point.

I needed a certain amount of interaction on my fics to feel happy, and I wasn’t getting them anymore. So, I did what I always did, and wrote more and more and more.

Until I woke up every morning in pain, until my fingers and arms started to hurt when I tried to straighten them, until I woke up after a nap a month ago and found my hands poised for typing in my lap.

However, for the past few months, I have been slipping in and out of mania once again, and it has made me realize something:

I don’t enjoy writing for Maribat anymore. Because, as much as I hyperfixate on things and write for hours at a time, I never once wanted to update one of my Maribat fics.

I still updated sometimes, out of obligation, but I never was happy to do it. Writing stories I used to love was like pulling teeth, I would dread it to the point where even the comments I might get weren’t enough to motivate me anymore. Because there would only be ‘a few’, and they wouldn’t be ‘good enough’, and I was no longer ‘happy’.

In fact, I was miserable.

I should disclaim that I do not believe that I am owed comments. My mental health is my responsibility and my responsibility alone. 

But I have begun to realize that, just like you don’t owe me comments, I do not owe you fics.

And, so, I am leaving this fandom. I will still be in fandom spaces, such as discords, as I have made many friends and happy memories that I do not wish to lose, but for many of you this is goodbye.

Thank you for supporting me all of these years, and I hope you all figure out what makes you happy, too.

[abyssalrevenant]

sfw alphabet, pt. ii

disclaimers: the original list comes from the-coldest-goodbye. the reader, when mentioned, is gender neutral.

𝐚 = 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧?)

urahara is affectionate in his own way. physical affection is a rarity for him; he’d much rather show his care through other actions and, where those closest to him are concerned, his words. a good deal of his love is shown by his worry and his readiness to help when he’s needed. with a partner, he’d be more hands-on: light touches, a sneaky pinch, letting you nap with him in the shop. 

𝐛 = 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭?)

as seen with yoruichi, urahara makes for an interesting best friend. he’ll always be pleased to see you no matter how long or short your absence was, and you’ll experience more of his genuine thoughts and wry humor. as for sharing secrets, he has so many of his own that holding onto some of your seems like no problem at all. just expect a fair bit of annoyance from some of his antics.

𝐜 = 𝐜𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬 (𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞?)

he won’t say that he enjoys cuddling with his partner, but it’s clear in how eagerly he rearranges himself if they ask. urahara makes space, and makes himself as enticing a pillow as he can be in the hopes of extending how long you’re in his arms. he’ll cop a feel—he’s shameless enough that it doesn’t bother him to do it—and then make up for it by stroking your hair.

𝐝 = 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 (𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠?)

between being born in the rukongai and then cast into the world of the living, urahara picked up a fair number of skills essential to keeping a tidy household. tessai does most of the work, but urahara isn’t above lending a hand or doing a chore if he’s the first to notice it. he can cook simple dishes, perhaps one or two more extravagant ones. as for settling down, he’d have to meet the right person.

𝐞 = 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭?)

he’d announce his decision with a completely unaffected air and leave no room for arguments. no matter his reasoning for doing so, he has no intentions of walking back due to tears or apologies. he wants a clean break. if you live with him, he’ll give you time to find a place of your own, but that’s the only kindness he’ll extend. he isn’t, however, truly unaffected, and sinks into a depression afterwards that’s noticeable only by his shorter temper and longer naps.

𝐟 = 𝐟𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞(𝐞) (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝?)

if urahara met the right person, if he truly loved them, he would have them move in with him. a wedding might happen if his partner truly wanted one; he honestly doesn’t care much about it either way, so it’s in your hands. if you did decide on one, he’d ask that it be kept small and simple. he doesn’t need one to know that he’s going to spend the remainder of his life at your side, so it’s only to make you happy.

𝐠 = 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲, 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲?)

he certainly doesn’t handle anyone or anything roughly, combat aside, but his ability to empathize is often ignored in favor of practicality. urahara isn’t intentionally cruel, but there are many times in the beginning where his partner will be upset by him. tell him, and he’ll learn and adjust. his sympathy might come across as a jest, but he truly does love and want the best for you.

𝐡 = 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐬 (𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐬? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭? 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞?)

urahara loves being hugged, and will gladly offer them whenever he thinks you might need or want one. his hugs are warm and solid, and often end with his face in your hair or you tucked under his chin (or vice versa). 

𝐢 = 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥-𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝?)

he hardly ever says it, if at all. not because he doesn’t love his partner, but because, as stated earlier, he much prefers to show it through other means. the first time you hear it is three months in when you’re half-asleep, his long limbs caging you and his words slurred with exhaustion, and then it becomes a little more common.

𝐣 = 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭? 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬?)

urahara is a jealous man, though he rarely shows it. the one who brings it out of him the most is, surprisingly, yoruichi. the first time she said that she might just take you for herself, he’d pulled you closer and refuted her in a way that was more taunting that friendly. he isn’t possessive—far from it—and he won’t act on his jealousy or even bring it up aside from a slightly tighter hug, a slightly closer presence.

𝐤 = 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞? 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝?)

his kisses can be teasing things, little more than a brush of his lips against your own, or they can be so passionate that your toes curl. he has a bit of an oral fixation, so he enjoys kissing you solidly on the mouth. aside from that, your chest and the divot between your thigh and hip. he likes to be kissed wherever you want to kiss him, though sometimes he pushes your head towards his throat.

𝐥 = 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧?)

he has two of them, so you might assume that urahara is good with children. he isn’t. he handles them, but the way he does so has raised several brows in the past: for example, his gift to kazui on the boy’s first birthday was a ‘toy’ that was fully capable of emitting an ear-piercing shriek. he claimed it was for protection against hollows, but that should give you an idea of how he is around them. he’s definitely the fun uncle, though.

𝐦 = 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?)

lazy is the best way to describe him in the morning. he wants five more minutes, and those five turn into ten, which turns into an hour, which turns into a side-eye from tessai when he shows up well after the shop has opened. urahara is fond of sleepy morning sex, after which he’ll have coffee with you and either nap while you read the paper or read it over your shoulder.

𝐧 = 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?)

nights are when urahara comes alive, all of the pent-up frustration and desire emerging. the kids are asleep—more importantly, tessai is asleep—and his room is far enough removed that he can afford to let down his guard and lose himself in your warmth. he likes to bathe with you, though that often goes in circles, and it isn’t uncommon to fall asleep with his cock inside you.

𝐨 = 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 (𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬? 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲?)

urahara’s secrets have secrets, and those secrets have secrets. he’s a many-layered puzzle of discarded ambition, regret, ingenuity, and self-loathing. he might tell his lover of his time in the soul society, limited of course to his occupation within the seireitei, or he might entertain them with stories from when he first opened the shop. the major things, such as the hogyoku, are his alone until they no longer are and you find out in the worst possible way. he’s more open after that.

𝐩 = 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲?)

it isn’t so much that urahara is patient as it is that there’s very little that truly upsets him. aizen did, when he stole his work and used it to irrevocably change so many lives, and he was furious with himself for causing so much suffering. however, he has the patience to map out a hundred-year plan, so a short-temper is far from one of his flaws.

𝐪 = 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐞𝐬 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠?)

he might not seem to, but urahara remembers every word you’ve ever spoken to him. he isn’t the sort to use past arguments or the like against you. he simply holds onto them and tucks them away in his memory, and often revisits them at night to pick them apart and see where he went wrong. you could quiz him on the tiniest detail about you or your life, and he’d have the answer. whether he’d immediately say it or fluster you by pretending he doesn’t know for a little while is another story.

𝐫 = 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩?)

after the war, when everyone was recovering, urahara spent months recuperating even after inoue healed him. he’d taken so much damage between askin and his own bankai, and some of the scars never healed. he thought that you would leave him when you looked at his face and saw the stiches, but you’d only cried and held him because he was alive and he was home. 

𝐬 = 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝?)

you’re important to him, and so he’d do anything for you. if you’re a soul reaper/quincy/fullbringer/etc., then he’ll mostly leave you to your own battles, keeping a watchful eye all the same in case you need him. if you’re human, and one without any powers aside from perhaps the ability to see ghosts, then he’s much more observant and on guard. compared to him, you are so fragile and he is so, so afraid of losing you. he does his best not to overstep, but you might need to set some firm boundaries at the start until he adjusts.

𝐭 = 𝐭𝐫𝐲 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐬, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬?)

urahara puts in the required amount of effort when it comes to things like keeping his shop running and doing chores. dates are often simple, yet tailored to your exact tastes, as are anniversary activities and gifts. he knows what you like and will do his best to plan or find something for you. he’s intelligent, and your presence is the antidote to his usual lethargy.

𝐮 = 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬?)

his dishonesty. he never outright lies, at least not to you, but he holds his cards close to his chest and lying by omission is something that you’ll have to hold him accountable for if you ever want him to change. 

𝐯 = 𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬?)

he doesn’t care. urahara wears the same outfit every single day, and has for at least two decades. he’ll dress up if you ask him to, but aside from keeping himself clean and groomed, he doesn’t pay it much thought.

𝐰 = 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 (𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮?)

yes. if urahara loves you, then you are a part of him. whether you leave, or die, or he ends things, that part of you will always be gone. he’s not so dramatic as to be upset—or even play at upset—if you have things to do that don’t involve him, but a longer-term or permanent separation would hurt him.

𝐱 = 𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚 (𝐚 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦)

he smells like soap and black tea.

𝐲 = 𝐲𝐮𝐜𝐤 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫?)

it’s hard to find something he doesn’t like, aside from actual people. i do think he has some morals, so hurting children or the less fortunate would make him unhappy. one of the reasons he dislikes himself is because of how he used others for so long in a bid to stop aizen; behavior like that leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

𝐳 = 𝐳𝐳𝐳 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬?)

he can sleep at any time, in any place, with little to no warning. however, he often pretends to sleep in order to eavesdrop.

[romanarose]

Lucky

Will Miller x Reader

Triple Frontier Masterlist

Summary: You are in the middle of a depressive episode, only able to leave the bed enough to use the bathroom. Your husband is there to support you.

Warnings: Depression, feeling shitty, gender roles maybe? Idk? mentions of past abuse, emotional and physical, but it's pretty vague.

*****************

With the sound of the key in the door, you wake up. And just like that, you realize you wasted the entire day.

“Honey, I’m ho-” You here Will start, before he realizes you were napping, as he always does when he comes home on your day off, or if you are home before him, which is most days. Your husband is a hard worker, and overtime is a regular part of his job, but he does it without complaint, anything to build a life with you and the family you hope to have some day soon. The future was bright for you and Will, you knew that, but lately, you couldn’t help but feel there wasn’t much of a future for you in general. It wasn't like you could particularly complain about anything. You had a decent job, pay was mid but had good benefits, while Will’s job offered almost no benefits but great pay; it evened out. You got along great with his brother, Benny, and Benny’s boyfriend, as you did with their army buddies. 

And things were great with Will, better than you were told you deserved. That’s where the guilt came in. Will worked long hours, taking overtime whenever he could, which took his usual fantastic pay and made it time and a half, which afforded the two of you a decent savings and a good life. He then did his share of the housework, as well as car maintenance and small repairs around the house. You tried, you really did, to make things even. The kitchen was your realm, and you enjoyed it, cooking dinner for him most nights and keeping it clean and organized. Recently, however, that ball had been dropped, as you had been doing with many things around the house. Today, your day off, was supposed to be your ‘catch up’ day, you promised Will as he left your bed this morning, kissing you goodbye and telling you not to worry. 

But you had stayed in bed most of the day, fucking around on tik tok, tumblr, and pintrest. You got up at one point to pee, and didn’t even make it back to the bedroom, flopping on the couch where you eventually went in and out of sleep for the remainder of the afternoon until Will came home. You are too tired to open your eyes, or maybe you’re too embarrassed to wake up to the reality that you wasted 9 or so hours, leaving the kitchen a mess, no dinner started, trash in the trash cans and the bathrooms still needing a scrub and laundry unfolded… you keep your eyes shut. Will walks over, and you assume he’s noticing that you’ve done nothing, and you quietly wait for him to wake you up, start yelling about the mess, or make some passive aggressive comment at the very least, all stuff you were used to, just not from Will.

When William John Miller walked in the door that day, he felt like he was the luckiest man on the planet. Work went smoothly, his little brother invited him over for dinner, and he came home to his beautiful wife peacefully sleeping on the couch. Will smiles at you lovingly, going to grab a throw blanket to pull over you, when he sees you blink awake. Kneeling beside where you lay, he caresses your face. “Hey sweetness, you have a good rest?”

Despite you knowing that Will is nothing but genuine when he asks you that, it feels like a punch in the gut, it feels condescending. Apparently, you hadn’t processed out everything in therapy, have you? You nodded, fighting back tears as you sit up, looking over the apartment and seeing everything you didn’t do.

“You okay?” Will asks, a bit of concern in his eyes. 

“Yeah, just tired”

Now he was worried. ‘Just tired’ had been falling out of your lips a lot lately. You had been listless, and hadn’t really seemed present lately; like you had been going through the motions. Every time he asked you, all he could get out was ‘I’m just tired’. Will didn’t mind picking up the extra housework or cooking. He knew you had dark times, and wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, knowing he may not be the best with his words, but he could be there in the love language he knew best: acts of service.

“That’s okay” He looked up at where you were sitting as he still knelt at your feet. Even tired, your hair a wild mess and sweaty from sleep, you were beautiful to him. “Any plans for dinner?”

And that did it. You felt like he was mocking you, knowing damn well you hadn’t started anything. He was making fun of you, he was getting tired of picking up your slack and working 10 hour days and coming in on weekends only to come home to the dishes not washed and a half swept floor. He was tired of you. He was going to divorce you. You break down crying.

Will’s eyes widen in horror as he watches you cover your face and start crying. He scrambles to get off the floor, sitting on the couch and taking you in his strong arms. “Hey, hey sweetness,” He coaxes. “What’s going on? What did I say?”

As much as you want to melt into him, you keep yourself contained, focusing on trying to stop crying. “I’m sorry”

Will wasn’t entirely sure what you were apologizing for, but whatever it was, it didn’t matter. “No need to apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for”

But you stand up, breaking out of his hold and starting to the kitchen. “I’m sorry, it’ll get started on dinner. Take a shower, I’ll try to make something quick”

Following after you, Will starts to connect the dots on what is upsetting you. He captures you again in his arms, and this time you relax under his touch, allowing yourself to breathe him in. “Honey, it’s okay, I’m not worried about dinner. I only ask because Benny invited us over.”

You shake your head that rested against his firm chest. “It’s not just that, it’s everything. I didn’t do anything today.”

He stroked your hair, holding you tight. “That’s okay, sometimes you need a rest”

“I’ve been doing nothing but resting all week and I still feel shitty and tired”

“Baby, look at me?” Will coaxed your head up to look at him, his heart hurting at the sadness in your eyes. “Be honest with me, please. Are you going through a tough time right now?” Will knew the answer, and you knew he knew, but he wanted you to verbalize things. 

As you look up at him, his blue eyes soft and kind, you have to remind yourself this is Will. This is now. This isn’t before. You are safe, you are loved. “Yeah.”

He nodded. “Thank you for telling me. You can always tell me as soon as it starts, but I know it can be difficult. Can you tell me what you’re feeling? Even if it’s a few words.”

You think for a moment, trying to figure out exactly how to explain it.

Will mistakes this for hesitation. “We can talk about it later, if that’s easier.” 

Shaking your head, you give him a small smile “No, I’m just trying to think of how to verbalize it.” Will nods, and you think for a moment, then continue. “I’ve been exhausted. I can’t say I was really sad at first… just tired for no reason, kinda down, but it wasn’t bad… Then that exhaustion made it hard to do things… and then I started feeling fucking useless, and things just spiraled.”

Will kissed the top of your head, cuddling you to him. “You’re not useless, not even close. Sometimes you just need a little help.”

“But I’m an adult, I should know to do laundry and mop the floor and clear away trash-”

“-It’s okay, I promise-”

“You deserve better than me” You blurt out, then wince, knowing you shouldn’t have let that slip.

“Hey now” William looks at you, face fraught with worry. “Don’t say that, please.” He looks as if you had hurt him personally, like your words were akin to a slap across the face. 

You pull back, and he lets go, careful to never force you into touch or contact. “How are you not sick of me yet? You go to work for hours on end, the least I can do is let you come home to a clean house and food on the table. You have to be tired of this. I’m pathetic.”

“No” Will says very firmly. “You are absolutely not pathetic.” His voice then softens for you. “You have depression. Can I take your hand?”

You nod, and he holds both your hands. He looks at you with ernest.

“You have an illness. I told you when we got married, in sickness and in health. When I have a cold or a fever, you take care of me. And when you are feeling down, I’ll take care of you.”

You shake your head again. “When you’re sick it’s for a day. My depressive episodes can last for months”

“And I’ll continue to be there for you. I knew about this when I married you.” He stepped closer. “I love you. You make me so fucking happy, every day. I want a life with you, a family, and I’m here to support you. And if that means cooking dinner sometimes, I think I can manage that” He laughed a bit, assuring you that it wasn’t a big deal. 

You felt your already wet eyes spill over a bit as you took in Will’s words. “Really?”

Will reached up to cup your face, and you wince as he moves too fast. Just a slight wince, but nothing got past him. It was nothing he wasn’t used to. It had been 5 years since your first date, and although he knew he had your complete trust, the knee jerk reaction was well ingrained into you. “Sorry”

He retracted his hand, but you grabbed it, bringing it to your face where he cupped it, and you closed your eyes as you keen into his palm. “It’s okay baby, I know you’re not him.”

“I’m not” Will wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you close to him. “I know he wanted a lot from you, and I know that’s hard to break out of. I don’t expect you to be completely over it all. But I am here for you, for better or for worse” Will Miller kissed your hair. “We don’t have to go to Benny’s if you aren’t up for it. I’ll cook for you, or we can order in.” Will offered options, perfectly ready to cook, but also know that more acts of service might stress you more, so ordering pizza was also on the table.

You consider for a moment. “It it just Benny and Jason, or is it everyone?”

“Just Benny and Jason”

“I think I’d like to go. I haven't really done anything for a while, might be nice to see them. Just not very long, if that’s okay?”

Pulling back, Will smiled at you “Sound good to me”

“And maybe we can clean for a bit after? Together?”

“We don’t have to-”

“I know, but chores are always more fun with you, and I’d feel better if I got something done”

Nodding, Will agreed. “Works for me, everything is more fun with you”

You hadn’t showered for a few days, your depressive episode taking a toll on you, so before the dinner with your brother-in-law, you asked Will to shower with you. He happily obliges, carefully washing the sudsy loofa all over your body as you stood in the warmth of the water, already feeling cleaner, warmer, a little bit better now that you told Will how you were feeling. He promised to help you set up an appointment with your psych to check in with your meds, and apologized for not stepping in sooner when he saw you feeling down. You told him he had nothing to apologize for, and promised to try and talk to him when you were feeling down, before things got this bad. 

As the water splattered against your skin, the strong arms of your husband wrapped around you as he nestled his face into your neck, you can’t help but think about how lucky you are. Your depression wasn’t cured, and this depressive episode wasn’t over, but unlike before, you have the sweetest man you’d ever met taking care of you.

****************

Thank you for reading! I know Will isn't the most popular of the TF boys but he's so special to me <3 Just wanted to write something super fucking soft for him.

Tagging the usual peeps

@welcometostayingawake @howaboutcastiel @in-between-the-cafes @jake-g-lockley @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @milkymoon2483 @lucianadraven32 @kittyofalltrades

and I thought maybe @villainvindicator might enjoy <3

[crissiebaby]

Double Diaper Dare: Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: This story contains diaper usage, public humiliation, masturbation/diaper sex, WAM, hypermessing, hypnosis, diaper filling, slime transformation, and other ABDL themes. I hope you enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Crissie…Hey, Crissie!”

With her eyes fluttering open, Crissie stretched out her sluggish limbs along Jane’s lounger and let out a big yawn. “Ten mo minutes,” she said as she rolled her side.

“Don’t ‘ten mo minutes’ me. The janitorial staff needs to lock up for the night so we gotta go,” said Codi in an authoritative tone, placing her hands on Crissie’s side to flip her back over.

Sticking out her lower lip, Crissie was bummed out to hear that Jane and Rebecca had seemingly left during her nap. “Why didn Jane and Miwth Webecca say goodbye?” she moped, feeling much like a Little who’d lost their Big in a superstore.

It wasn’t something she mentioned often but Crissie had some abandonment issues stemming from her childhood that still plagued her to this day. While she was sure Jane and Rebecca didn’t mean anything by it, she couldn’t help how her anxiety reacted to these situations. Codi’s presence usually helped to pacify those feelings, but her denial of their friendship at the CrissBaby Store left Crissie uncertain of how much comfort she should place in her roomie.

“Stopping being such a glum baby. You were sleeping so hard that they didn’t want to wake you up,” said Codi, tossing a candy cane onto Crissie’s lap, “They wanted to give you one of these. Apparently, Rebecca has a ton of them for when Christmas rolls around.”

The gift of candy was good enough to snap Crissie out of her depressive stupor. She instantly perked up as she began to unwrap the minty treat. Lapping her tongue up and down the red and white stick, she began to wonder what sort of fun activities she missed during her nap. Looking down at her diaper, it was obvious that Rebecca must’ve changed from her messy CrissBaby pamps into a pair of Bunny Hops while she was out. She giggled at the thought of Master catching her wearing a competitor’s brand. Sadly, she could also feel the metal chastity belt still in place, meaning that she’d have to anticipate a wealth of teasing the next time she and Jane chatted.

“Alright, you got your candy. Now let’s get going,” said Codi, her impatience rearing its ugly head. It was already weird enough being a stranger’s office when they were with her, even more so now that it was dark out and everyone else was gone. Holding up the key, she approached the door, keeping Crissie’s pocket dimension nursery in the forefront of her mind.

However, before Codi could insert the teleport key into the nearby lock, Crissie caught sight of something very interesting. As it turned out, she wasn’t the only one wearing a pair of Bunny Hops. “Hehehe, hey Codi. Did you enjoy your changie from Miwth Webecca?” she said, causing Codi to stop dead in her tracks. While Codi remained silent, her body language was more than enough to egg on Crissie’s teasing further, “Ooooh! You did, didn’t you?! I bet they were delighted to see the buzzy surprise you were hiding inside.”

Frozen in place, Codi’s face burned bright red as she thought back to what happened while Crissie was asleep. Her only relief came from the fact that Crissie wasn’t conscious at the time to tease her about what happened…

-------------------------------------------------------------

*bzzzzzzzzzzzz*

Pushing aside the items on her desk, Jane was more than happy to provide a safe landing zone for Codi’s squirmy booty. “Up, up, up! Miwth Webecca’s gonna get you all changed!” said Jane, snickering as she easily pinned Codi’s arms back. Despite how much bigger the girl was than her, she was surprised by how incredibly light and weak Codi was, almost as if she had no bones or muscle whatsoever.

While Jane could only speculate, Codi knew it to be an absolute fact. If she melted into her slime form, she could easily escape Jane’s clutches. Unfortunately, that would require revealing her true nature to two of Crissie’s friends, something she wasn’t willing to do. Like it or not, her refusal to transform left her at the mercy of the dominant Big and her shorty Little.

Placing a hand on Codi’s rumbly diaper, Rebecca's devious smile only grew. “Awww, baby girl! You didn’t have to play over here all by yourself,” she teased as she placed a gentle hand on Codi’s cheek, “Now, tell me, Codi, do you want me to continue, or do you just want a quick change?” She wiggled her hand a little, letting Codi know in explicit terms what “continuing” would entail.

Biting her lip, Codi knew what she wanted. Despite the fact that she lived with the horniest baby girl alive in Crissie, she’d never let anyone massage her diaper, dry or wet. It wasn’t that she didn’t want her to. It was just that she knew Crissie would dial up the humiliation to 11 if she ever asked. With Miss Rebecca, though, she wouldn’t have to live with her 24/7 after this was all over. Plus, Crissie would be none the wiser. Reluctantly, she nodded her head and said, “I-Is it bad that I want you to continue?”

Flashing a smile that would put the Big Bad Wolf to shame, Rebecca was more than happy to oblige as she began to knead at the front of Codi’s diaper like a mound of fresh dough. “Not at all, baby girl,” cooed Rebecca, causing Codi to look away, far too embarrassed to keep eye contact. This only made Codi cuter in Rebecca’s eyes, “You shouldn’t hold yourself back so much from what you want, ya know? That kind of repression is not good for the psyche.”

It was at this point that Codi remembered she was currently sandwiched between two therapists, each with enough experience to read her like an open book. “C-Can we not do the therapy session…while you’re…doing this?” she pleaded, allowing a brief moan to escape her lips.

“Sorry, it's a knee-jerk reaction at this point,” said Rebecca, deciding not to press any further. The last thing she wanted was for Codi to feel pressured and ask to stop. Instead, she turned her focus toward making sure Codi had the best time possible, “And don’t worry, I’ll make sure to get you changed before Crissie wakes up. This’ll be our little secret.”

How did Rebecca know that she didn’t want Crissie to find out? Was she really that easy to predict? As Codi stared into Rebecca’s comforting eyes, she felt as though her mind was being read in real-time. Were all therapists like this?! At least she could take solace in knowing that Crissie would be none the wiser to her playtime with Miss Rebecca and Jane.

Speaking of Jane, the mischievous Little snickered as she picked up the remote controlling the egg vibrator in Codi’s diaper and began to alter the settings, increasing the speed as well as changing up the pattern of vibrations. The results of her edits were instantaneous.

“MMMMMMMMM!!!” moaned Codi, panting as her hips bucked back and forth beneath Rebecca’s hand. She shouldn’t be doing this and she knew it. These were practically complete strangers. And yet, it felt so amazing to let them have their way with her. Her eyes went cross and her toes curled inward as she experienced her first of what she hoped to be many orgasms.

As Codi’s body began to come down from its euphoric peak, Miss Rebecca was there to make sure the pleasure she was feeling didn’t die down in the slightest. “Go on, CodiBaby, fill your diaper with…purple?”

Codi’s eyes suddenly went wide as she sat up and pushed Rebecca away from her. Looking down at her diaper, it was plain as day that her ejaculate was a light shade of violet. “I-I’m sorry,” she said, tugging on her dress to hide her goo-soaked diaper.

“Hey, hey, there’s no need to be sorry. Does this…discoloration happen often?” asked Rebecca, placing a comforting hand on Codi’s shoulder. Sure, it was a little bizarre to see someone cumming purple, but so long as it wasn’t harming her, it wasn’t really a big deal.

Codi wasn’t sure how to respond to Rebecca’s question. She could tell her what the purple goo really was, but what if she freaked out over meeting what to her would be an actual alien from outer space? She decided it would be better to come up with a quick fib and keep her explanation simple, “I-It’s always been like that. Every time I cum, it comes out purple,” she said, technically not saying anything that was actually a lie.

“Well, that’s…definitely interesting,” said Jane, hopping up onto her desk and parking herself next to Codi, “Crissie certainly has a way of finding interesting friends, doesn’t she?”

Shaking her head, Codi refused Jane’s assessment, “We’re not really friends, per se. We just wound up stuck together as roommates. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Master blocking my portal powers in this timeline, I’d have already left.”

Rebecca and Jane both make eye contact with each other over Codi’s troubling comment. “Does Crissie know this is how you feel?” probed Jane, knowing without certainty that Crissie had referred to Codi as her “bestie” on several occasions over Discord.

Shrugging her shoulders, Codi had never really considered how Crissie felt about their relationship. She’d always assumed Crissie put up with her because she wasn’t able to leave. “Dunno, but I’m sure she can’t wait to have the nursery to herself again,” she said dismissively.

Patting Codi on the back, Rebecca decided to halt Codi’s line of questioning for today. It was clear as day that Codi's body language was telling a far different story than her mouth was, and she'd figure that out on her own eventually. Instead, she decided to focus her efforts on providing future aid. Reaching into the back pocket of her slacks, she pulled out a business card and handed it to Codi. “Listen, if you want someone to talk to in confidence, feel free to contact me anytime and we’ll set you up with an appointment, okay?” she said, her chameleon-esque smile shifting to express her warmth and gentleness, “Now, why don’t we get you and your roommate all cleaned up.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Hehehehe, c’mooooooooon! I wanna know what happened,” begged Crissie as she bounced up and down next to Codi, hoping her theatrics would guilt her into spilling that tea.

Sadly, unlike Jane, no amount of begging would get Codi to crack. “For the last time, no! You’ll just have to use that all-powerful imagination you’re always bragging about,” she said, nudging Crissie’s hands off of her arm as she moved to place the teleport key in the lock on Jane’s door.

However, just as Codi was about to get them on the path back to Crissie’s nursery, Crissie jumped in front of her and snatched the key from her hand, “Tell me or…or…or the next round of Double Diaper Dare will be in the naughtiest place I can think of!” she threatened, waving the key in front of Codi’s face tauntingly.

Scoffing, Codi stepped back and mockingly gestured to the door. After what she’d just gone through with Jane and Rebecca, nothing Crissie had up her sleeve could scare her at this point. “Do your worst. I’m not telling you jackshit,” she said spitefully, relishing in Crissie’s despair.

“Fine then! Whatever! I didn’t wanna know anyway,” said Crissie, turning her back to Codi in a huff as she placed the key into the lock and twisted it. If Codi wouldn’t spill the naughty stories of her time with Miss Rebecca, then she’d just have to make some new stories with Codi instead.

TO BE CONTINUED…

« PREVIOUS l FIRST l NEXT »

-------------------------------------------------------------

SubscribeStar: subscribestar.adult/crissiebaby pixivFANBOX: crissiebaby.fanbox.cc All CB Links: linktr.ee/crissiebaby

Edited by AllySmolShork

Special Thanks to Our CrissBaby Diaper Company Investors: BeelzeDerBock BlossomBitchDolly BlushyBen DD Exminister Gun1242 LittlePissy PrincessKittenLizzi Strawberry Sweetsamantharebecca & One Anonymous Investor