#time to learn how to use my wrath as a fuel :)

[veikkoalen]

ive read the notifications, no worries i'm sticking around 👍

[cricketandbooks]

THE BRAINS — Dead Boy Detectives

Edwin Payne: uptight, know-it-all, stagnant, compassionate, determined, and bringer of justice for all those who felt they did not matter

THE BRAWN — Charles' Playlist THE HEART — Niko's Playlist THE EYES — Crystal's Playlist

This playlist follows Edwin Payne (Paine?) through his death and afterlife in chronological order. I hope you enjoy!

Annotations about the songs on the playlist under the cut:

Tracks 1-4: Hell

Track 1: Fear by Clint Mansell, Kronos Quartet

This track is my interpretation of Edwin's experience being sacrificed and sent to hell. Not much is known about Edwin's family and school life before this moment, so to me his story starts here. This instrumental piece builds an atmosphere of slow dread. It culminates into a jarring mess of instrumentals, causing both a feeling of fear and confusion that reflects the experiences of everyone involved in the sacrifice. In the movie that this song is created for, Requiem for a Dream, the characters use drugs to avoid facing reality and their feelings. In Edwin's case, he uses rationalization and dissociation from his reality and feelings to avoid facing them. They both come crashing in as he is sent to hell by the hands of someone who could have truly understood him.

Track 2: Body Terror Song by AJJ

It is my interpretation that Edwin, even before death, hated having a body. A body cannot be completely controlled, and often we are more at mercy to its whims that we can bear. For Edwin, a gay child in a deeply homophobic society, his body presented a lot of danger and anguish to him. He is often seen in the series fully covered, even wearing gloves to avoid being touched by anyone. It is his uniform and serves as a separation of his body from the world, but also from himself as he doesn't have to see or acknowledge it. He also does not mention any sensations that he misses from being alive unlike Charles. However, in hell, this discomfort takes on a whole new meaning.

"I'm so sorry that you have to have a body I'm so sorry that you have to have a body, oh yeah I'm very sorry that you have to have a body One that will hurt you, and be the subject of so much of your fear It will betray you, be used against you, then it'll fail on you my dear But before that, you'll be a doormat, for every vicious narcissist in the world Oh how they'll screw you, all up and over, then feed you silence for dessert"

In the series Edwin mentioned being passed through multiple demons. Each time I imagine them apologizing to him, knowing he wasn't meant to be there. Even in hell, he wasn't truly wanted. And yet, his body was still used to torture him as he was ripped apart and put back together again. While his body didn't get to fail on him via age, he was unable to protect himself from the wrath of his peers as he was never a strong person physically. It also "betrayed" him in that he is attracted to men, and was used against him as a means to scare him by Simon. At this time in the story, he didn't get a true apology from Simon, and his death wasn't investigated. Instead his life and memory was silenced. This fuels his determination to ensure that this never happens to any one else, as well as to dissociate from having a body completely.

Track 3: Anhedonia by Chelsea Wolf, Emma Ruth Rundle

As he is learning about hell and escaping from it, Edwin's resolve to not feeling anything sinks in. After being betrayed and then tossed around like a plaything by demons, his self esteem is slowly draining.

"I know it all comes back times three That human, that demon showed me How it ends when you treat your friends like foes So don't come looking for me I've got my walls up now Protect myself like a fortress And I'm on my own now"

Despite being a potential "friend" to Simon, he was treated like a foe, a vehicle for Simon to put his own insecurities and fears into. In this case, a demon literally showed him the consequences of being viewed this way. Now that he has been shown what could happen when he is vulnerable, he builds his walls to make sure that this never happens again.

"No, I can't sleep, baby And waking up is just a dream My sadness has lost its cause And I'm suffocating So don't come looking for me I've got no joy to lend Protect myself like a fortress Isolating, bridge withdrawing Isolated, I can't take it"

The only thing keeping him going is his strong sense of justice. He knows he doesn't belong where he is, but his feelings of sadness is weighing him down. Even knowing this, he can't shake the trauma of what happened to him, keeping him afraid of change and growth. He felt alone for so long, and this feeling may have been what lead him to come back to the school where his trauma originated. To be surrounded by people in a familiar place while still being able to prove to himself that he had built a fortress around himself that prevents vulnerability.

Track 4: Run Boy Run by Woodkid

While other character's are trapped in their rage or selfishness, Edwin is always running. This constant running makes it so he doesn't truly belong anywhere.

"Run boy run! This world is not made for you Run boy run! They're trying to catch you Run boy run! Running is a victory Run boy run! Beauty lays behind the hills"

This stanza represents his escape from hell, and in this case, running was a victory. It represented his sense of justice and resolve for better.

"Run boy run! This ride is a journey to Run boy run! The secret inside of you Run boy run! This race is a prophecy Run boy run! And disappear in the trees"

However, this running becomes an aspect of Edwin's character that holds him back, as he runs from his inner self and desires. He holds secrets and runs from them, failing to confront others and himself. Instead, he chooses to "disappear" into his work and his purpose. This race is a prophecy about his fatal flaw.

Track 5-9: Limbo

Track 5: First Light by Hozier

This song is my interpretation of Edwin's experience when he met Charles, its counterpart is In a Week by Hozier (Feat. Karen Crowly) on Charles' playlist. Freshly escaped from hell, looking for purpose and walled off from the world and himself, meeting Charles and being able to guide him towards a gentle death allows him to find a new purpose: solving mysteries and being the one to bring the closure that people need.

"One bright morning changes all things Soft and easy as your breathing, you wake Your eyes open, at first a thousand miles away But turning, shoot a silver bullet point-blank range And I can scarce believe what I'm believing in Could this be how every day begins?"

As Charles dies, soft and easy to Edwin reading, he wakes into his new existence and chooses to stay. Edwin thinks this moment is all that they will ever have, but Charles then chooses to stay with him. In disbelief, this begins to wake Edwin up from his anhedonia and despair.

"Like I lived my whole life Before the first light (Some bright morning comes) Like I lived my whole life Before the first light (Some bright morning comes)"

Ironically, as Charles dies, the sun is rising and ending the cold night. Death is described as going into the light, but in this case, Charles' death is the trigger that leads both of them away from the blue glow of death and towards a different kind of afterlife. Both of them died before they could truly live and be free of their traumas. But together, they may be able to overcome this injustice and become more than themselves.

Track 6: Fast Car by Tracy Chapman

The first song to appear on both Charles' and Edwin's playlist. To me this song represents the beginning years of the Dead Boy Detective agency. I will be analyzing this song through Edwin's eyes here. Fast Car is them tentatively believing that they could build something that matters while the shadows of the past seek to haunt them and rip them apart.

"You got a fast car I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere Any place is better Starting from zero, got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something Me, myself, I got nothing to prove"

Charles propositions Edwin, they both want to escape the situation they're in, and want to run from death. They started the agency from zero, and built their reputation over time.

"You got a fast car I got a plan to get us out of here I been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money Won't have to drive too far Just 'cross the border and into the city You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living"

Edwin is the planner, the one who sorts the logistics and ensures that everything is in his place. I imagine he worked incredibly hard to be able to plan and set up the office and establish themselves as the boys begin to understand what they truly have together. He does this while constantly being under stress and on the run, a triumph of his mind.

"So I remember we were driving, driving in your car Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone"

They lived their lives constantly busy and on the run, with the city of London surrounding them. Edwin feels comforted by Charles, instead of afraid, and finally allows himself to believe that he could matter. In this environment he is in control, and no one can hurt him.

"You got a fast car I got a job that pays all our bills You stay out drinking late at the bar See more of your friends than you do of your kids I'd always hoped for better Thought maybe together you and me would find it I got no plans, I ain't going nowhere So take your fast car and keep on driving"

However, there are cracks in their relationship, and things that they are not honest about to each other. Edwin is incredibly afraid of change and people leaving him. He is set on staying put, while Charles yearns for something more than what he has.

"You got a fast car Is it fast enough so you can fly away? You gotta make a decision Leave tonight or live and die this way"

Even with these continuing tensions, they both continue to make the decision to keep running and leave death together.

Track 7: Working Man by Rush

For the next several decades, Edwin defines himself via his work. The agency has a higher purpose yes, but it is also a vehicle for Edwin to run from his emotions about his past, and from his developing feelings for Charles. Charles's counterpart of this is Post Humorous by Gus Dapperton, detailing his own coping mechanisms during this time. Working Man's repetition of words and verses creates the feeling of monotony, as Edwin's fear of change and obsession with work keeps him trapped in a state of limbo.

"Well, I get up at seven, yeah And I go to work at nine I got no time for livin' Yes, I'm workin' all the time"

As stated above, Edwin is a workaholic. He is constantly redirecting conversations from that of people's feelings to the case at hand. This is particularly salient within "The Case of the Two Dead Dragons" episode, even stating at one point that the case caused way too many feelings, and they should refocus on work. He doesn't have the time for feelings is his rationalization for that fact that he isn't allowing himself to truly thrive, rather to merely survive his continued existence.

"It seems to me I could live my life A lot better than I think I am I guess that's why they call me The workin' man"

People push him to change, and in the first episode Charles is even trying to encourage him to learn self defense. But it wasn't until when the Cat King points out all that he is lacking that he for once is confronted with this fact and cannot deny his stagnation. At this point, he is willing to lose pleasure and joy in exchange for the comfort and safety of repetition and work.

Track 8: Somewhere Only We Know by Keane

The second song to appear on both Edwin and Charles' playlists. Charles and Edwin are each other's safety, best friend, and purpose. They are the only ones during this period that can understand the other's situation and motivation, and through this forged a bond that could last for eternity. However, there are issues threatening to rot their relationship from the inside out.

"I walked across an empty land I knew the pathway like the back of my hand I felt the earth beneath my feet Sat by the river and it made me complete"

They both felt like they new each other like the back of their hands,even though it was revealed throughout the show that they did not. Even though their existence was monotonous, they made each other feel whole and complete. Their relationship grounded each other in their existence.

"Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on So, tell me when you're gonna let me in I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin"

Edwin yearns for things to remain simple, and as he is much older and wearier than Charles, he is looking for someone to rely on to never hurt him like others have in the past. Charles, on the other hand, is getting tired of their existence, and wants something new.

"This could be the end of everything So, why don't we go somewhere only we know? Somewhere only we know Somewhere only we know"

While these tensions in their relationship keep accumulating, it is certain that the boys both love each other and are willing to work out their issues once they finally are able to communicate them.

Tracks 9-13: Purgatory

Track 9: Everybody's Changing by Keane

Back to back Keane. However, this song represents the inevitable change in Edwin's existence, brought into fruition by Crystal joining the agency. He is deeply resistant and afraid of this change, and resentful at Charles for welcoming and encouraging it.

"You say you wander your own land But when I think about it, I don't see how you can You're aching, you're breaking And I can see the pain in your eyes Says everybody's changing and I don't know why"

Edwin cannot comprehend allowing risk into their lives, no matter how much either of them are stifled and hurting. He can't see beyond his own trauma in order to empathize with the reasons why Charles may want a change.

"So little time Try to understand that I'm Trying to make a move just to stay in the game I'm trying to stay awake and remember my name But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"

Crystal burst into their lives with such force, and Edwin feels like he can't control his environment. In order to outrun death and outrun hell, he is constantly making plans and moves in order to just keep things as they are. He has been working so hard to maintain the status quo that leaving for a new place like Port Townsend with a stranger to save another living person terrifies him.

"You're gone from here, soon, you'll disappear Fading into beautiful light 'Cause everybody's changing and I don't feel right"

Edwin is deeply fearful that Charles and him will be separated, but he is also resentful that while Charles will be greeted with Death's beautiful blue light, he will be damned to hell again.

Track 10: Heather by Conan Grey

Edwin is jealous of Crystal and Charles' relationship, and while he is cognizant on some level that is due to romantic jealousy, he consciously rejects this truth.

"I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater You said it looked better on me than it did you Only if you knew how much I liked you But I watch your eyes as she Walks by What a sight for sore eyes Brighter than the blue sky She's got you mesmerized while I die"

Charles and Edwin have so many memories together, being best friends, but Edwin feels more than that. Witnessing Charles be mesmerized by Crystal cuts him to the core as Charles is willing to even risk Death and afterlife consequences by becoming entangled with the living. The change she brings is sore for both of them, as Edwin feels pain from it, while Charles desperately wanted her to stay.

"Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder But how could I hate her? She's such an angel But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she Walks by What a sight for sore eyes Brighter than the blue sky She's got you mesmerized while I die"

Edwin suppresses his feelings towards Charles as he watches him and Crystal, continuing to put his walls up. He acknowledges that she is incredibly valuable as a part of the agency, and also begins to care for her in her own right. However, that doesn't stop him from his "illogical" feelings that she should still leave.

Track 11: Why Can't I Fall in Love by Ann King

As Edwin continues to grow closer to Niko and Crystal, he begins to acknowledge his feelings towards men. However, he still can't process his feelings for Charles specifically.

"If you told me last year I never would have believed you London streets, no tears It’s been way too long Different season, same town Lost myself in the hand me downs"

Edwin is acknowledging that he is happier and better due to the changes of his life. His melancholia that he hasn't been acknowledging is beginning to shift, he is beginning to realize that he has been suffocating himself due to his routine in London.

"Didn’t think I’d make it out Oh, the air feels lighter now But I’m still on my own Why can’t I fall in love ‘Cause I try, but I never feel enough Knew I had to change To find my own way Maybe that’s the price I paid ‘Cause I try, but I never fall in love"

I imagine this song as him telling Niko his feelings about love. He once again acknowledges that he feels lighter and more joyous with his friends in his life, especially Niko. He knew that in coming from his traumatic past he had to build himself up and put himself back together, but potentially at the cost of bodily desire.

"Sun came back around The grass is greener now The storm left me stronger So let the rain fall down I lеarned to love clouds With my feet on the ground I don’t havе any regret I’m happy where I am at"

Being able to go on date with Monty via Niko's encouragement, he doesn't understand why even after opening himself up and taking this first huge step, he can't feel what he is meant to feel. He is becoming happier in other aspects of his life, not regretting letting Niko and Crystal in, but that isn't enough, and he still can't seem to fall in love.

Track 12: Jenny (Acoustic Cover) by Studio Killers

After his conversation with Monty, Edwin is finally able to acknowledge his true feelings. I chose the acoustic cover for this playlist as I feel it better matches Edwin's demeanor/vibe.

"I wanna ruin our friendship We should be lovers instead I don't know how to say this 'Cause you're really my dearest friend"

Edwin acknowledging his feelings for Charles sets himself up to lose a lot. Charles is his best friend and intertwined with his purpose for existing. Their bond means everything to him.

"Jenny, take my hand 'Cause we are more than friends I will follow you until the end Jenny, take my hand I cannot pretend Why I never like your new boyfriends"

Able to understand his reasons beyond fear of change that he disliked Crystal and Charles together, Edwin gains more insight into himself.

"I wanna ruin our friendship We should be lovers instead I don't know how to say this 'Cause you're really my dearest friend Oh, your love for them won't last long We should be lovers instead Oh, your love for them won't last long 'Cause you really are my dearest friend"

This song represents Edwin's potentially selfish desires to have Charles all to himself, but by being able to acknowledge these feelings, Edwin begins the process of dealing with them healthily.

Tracks 13-17: The Earthly Paradise

Track 13: Meltdown by Clint Mansell, Kronos Quartet

Ironically, Edwin's first step to release himself from purgatory and reach towards self actualization is to be sent back to hell. I once again chose a song from the Requiem for a Dream soundtrack. In this case, I chose it mostly because when I was younger, I heard this song and thought "this is what hell sounds like". The horrendous clanging, the discordant sounds. This song doesn't have a slow build up, Edwin is immediately thrust into his worst nightmare, the very thing that he has been running from this whole time. This song also has a frenetic energy that makes me feel like prey being hunted, with the climax being one's body being ripped apart. However, there are multiple times where the music reaches that terrible bang, indicating that Edwin must undergo this torture again and again.

Track 14: Re: Stacks by Bon Iver

Edwin is able to unpack all the change and new revelations about himself as his worst fears are realized. He learns a lot about himself surrounded by books, which are sometimes referred to as "stacks", but for once it wasn't the information that the books contained that helped him overcome his trauma. Rather, it was the connection—however brief— that he formed with Simon within them.

"This my excavation and to– –day is Kumran Everything that happens is from now on This is pouring rain, this is paralyzed"

Edwin has been forced to see parts of himself that he is deeply uncomfortable with. His feelings for Charles, the fact that his reasons for doing detective work aren't entirely pure. Now in hell, all of these bad memories, as well as the endless terror falls on him like pouring rain. However, he is unable to leave or do anything to escape this fate, being paralyzed. And for once, he cannot run.

"I've been twisting to the sun I needed to replace And the fountain in the front yard is rusted out All my love was down in a frozen ground"

Edwin has been fighting against the inevitable change that comes with being in the world and not in the afterlife, realizing he has been denying himself love and keeping himself "frozen". Through his new friendships, he realizes he needs to make some changes within himself too. Niko was instrumental in allowing him to acknowledge this.

"There's a black crow sitting across from me His wiry legs are crossed And he's dangling my keys, he even fakes a toss Whatever could it be that has brought me to this loss?"

However, growth isn't always linear, and things don't always work how you want them too. Monty betrayed him, dangling a potential new relationship and path for growth. Simon appears before him, dangling before him all his most ugly vindictive impulses, and Edwin cannot save him.

"This is not the sound of a new man Or crispy realization It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away Your love will be safe with me"

Despite all this, Edwin is able to acknowledge that he has been building walls for an incredibly long time. After meeting Simon he realizes he has also been in a hell of his own creation through his inflexibility, control, and fear. However, he is willing to let down his walls and let other people in, and to let life in as well. He is finally ready to tell Charles the truth. As such, all of Crystal's, Niko's, and Charles' love will truly be safe with him as he finally decides to face all the load that has been holding him back all these years.

Track 15: The Scientist by Coldplay

The first non-homophobic gay hell confession.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry You don't know how lovely you are I had to find you, tell you I need you Tell you I set you apart

Edwin positions himself below Charles at first during his confession, unable to go any further and staying even deeper in hell. This could be due to his believe that his feelings are "wrong", as he is apologetic about them. But, it is also incredible growth as he is willing to remain in his worst fears and not willing to run away in order to be honest and true to himself. He is able to say plainly for the first time that he loves Charles, finds him beautiful and that he holds him in his heart more deeply than he ever imagined he could.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions Oh, let's go back to the start Running in circles, coming up tails Heads on a science apart

Edwin acknowledges the secrets he's been keeping from Charles, holding themselves back from fully knowing each other. From the Cat King and onward, he is now willing to be completely honest. He also acknowledges that his fear of both his past and his future has been part of what kept them trapped in a circular path, unable to both grow and change.

I was just guessing at numbers and figures Pulling the puzzles apart Questions of science, science and progress Do not speak as loud as my heart But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me Oh and I rush to the start

Edwin used logic and work to keep himself from fully thriving, but now his feelings can't be ignored. He is able to admit to the person he cares about most that he wants to be loved, that he wants them to be together even though this is the most terrifying thing for him.

Nobody said it was easy Oh, it's such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be so hard I'm going back to the start

Now that he has spoken allowed his feelings and got his answer, Edwin is finally free to process his feelings and begin to move on to new love and new live, with his best friend by his side.

Track 16: That's What Friends Are For by Dionne Warwick, Elton John, Stevie Wonder, Gladys Knight

After all that he has been through, Edwin finally feels prepared to be fully himself, with his friends supporting him. He has finally stopped running from himself and is prepared to embrace his future and the change it will bring.

And I never thought I'd feel this way And as far as I'm concerned I'm glad I got the chance to say That I do believe I love you And if I should ever go away Well, then close your eyes and try To feel the way we do today And then if you can remember

In the beginning, Edwin went out of his way to be prickly and rude to both Niko and Crystal, as well as to the idea of Port Townsend itself. But now he is able to acknowledge his love for them and the happiness they bring him. They aren't his work colleagues, but beloved friends.

Well, you came and opened me And now there's so much more I see And so by the way I thank you Oh and then for the times when we're apart Well, then close your eyes and know These words are coming from my heart And then if you can remember

Niko and Crystal changed his life forever, and both in their own ways beginning to thaw him from the ice and dissociation that was keeping him miserable. Despite fighting against it so hard, he is grateful to them and the community that they have created together that allows him to be so happy and free.

Keep smilin', keep shinin' Knowing you can always count on me for sure That's what friends are for For good times and bad times I'll be on your side forever more That's what friends are for

Usually stoic and stiff, Edwin is able to allow himself the use of his body to express his emotions for the first time. He is an incredibly loyal person and now that he loves them, will stand by the group forever.

Track 17: The Foundations of Decay by My Chemical Romance

This song is found on all Charles, Crystal, and Edwin's playlists. This song discusses where the characters will go after Niko's death, and reflecting on what they've all learned so far.

See the man who stands upon the hill He dreams of all the battles won But fate had left its scars upon his face With all the damage they had done

All of the characters have been hurt and traumatized by their past, and sometimes it is not so easily healed. Their scars also kept them from truly connecting and communicating with each other. Niko was the one who united them all with her firm believe in love and hope, as well as her ability to listen to their deepest fears. For Edwin in particular, Niko's friendship was incredible important to him as her unconditional acceptance was so crucial in letting himself open up and face his feelings.

Let our bodies lay, mark our hearts with shame Let our blood in vain, you find God in pain Now, if your convictions were a passing phase May your ashes feed the river in the morning rays And as the vermin crawls, we lay in the foundations of decay

All of the characters were rotting in their own ways before they met each other. Charles was rotting in a silent rage, unable to truly confront his death and all that he lost, alongside how his parents continued on happy without him while causing him so much suffering. Niko was trapped in her room unable to connect with others in the world not just due to her sprites, but through her unhealed grief and fear. Crystal was suffocating in her selfishness and inability to love and be loved, as well as the abusive and neglectful relationships in her life. Edwin was rotting from his inability to accept change, letting the fear of his past control his life. His denial of himself and his desires lead him to be unable to grow and held him back from truly thriving in the existence he fought so hard for.

You must fix your heart And you must build an altar where it swells When the storm, it gains and the sky, it rains Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away And as you stumble through your last crusade Will you welcome your extinction in the morning rays? And as the swarm it calls, we lay in the foundations

I believe the thesis of the Dead Boy Detectives, as well as this song, is the lyric "you must fix your heart". By allowing your old self to rot, you are able to confront your trauma and begin to heal and grow again. As the characters continue to confront their decay, they will hopefully continue to become more self actualized and healed.

[starwrittenfates]

🙊what would my muse say their biggest flaw is

⧱ what really is my muse’s biggest flaw

🎒what was my muse’s worst subject in school?

(For Sev)

CHARACTER FLAWS MEME;;

🙊what would my muse say their biggest flaw is

As always when it comes to Severus, it's complicated. He doesn't like to point out his flaws because they are negatives and he already feels insecure about himself. He'd probably say that he himself is a flaw or his strong emotions that take control of him completely. After all, he comes to view “Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions” are weak. He's not only speaking about Harry when he says this, but himself too. He's learned that people who show their hearts to others are usually abused, bullied, and rejected for it. It's best to hide it away so no one can use it against you.

⧱ what really is my muse’s biggest flaw

While him having strong and deep emotions isn't necessarily a bad thing, it could become a flaw because him feeling that showing his heart to others is a weakness to be exploited instead makes him come off as bitter, cold, and harsh to others. Not to mention, it distances him from people even more and doesn't help him build connections with others that could actually be really good for him. So I'd say it's mostly a lack of control he feels he has (once again attributed to his rough childhood.)

I would also say his pride is his downfall, including his wrath. These mostly stem from his childhood and his abuse from his muggle father. He wanted to be acknowledged and respected for being a talented wizard and was filled with immense ambition to make his life better in the Wizarding world. He held spite towards Tobias (rightfully so), and wanted to be special (hence, calling himself The Half-Blood Prince, using his mother's maiden name, which reflected the Wizarding side of his blood, not the muggle part he hated thanks to his father.) However, the bullying he endured thanks to James and Sirius didn't help. It only added more fuel to this fire. His ambition to make something better for himself at Hogwarts as an escape from his horrible home life turned into a path of darkness, leading him to venture into the Dark Arts to further try and prove himself, but also protect himself, which ended with him losing Lily and joining the Death Eaters. The rest is history.

But at least he eventually learns from this, and that's what's important. Although it cost him the life of someone he loved deeply to learn said lesson.

🎒what was my muse’s worst subject in school?

With how much of an intellectual genius he is, is there even a subject he is terrible in? Severus is literally a literary sponge, soaking up any knowledge he can and mastering it in no time.

Besides people skills, I'd probably say Divination. He thinks it's all shit, which makes it even more tragic when a prophecy ends up changing his life forever.

[ravenwitch45]

Where would au Striker live and what would his hobbies be? Would he have any side jobs that doesn't involve assassination? What would his favorite food be? I want to know more about Striker besides being a cowboy.

Well considering I had no part in writing the canon version, I can't do much more then speculate, but since this is AU then I suppose i can do a bit, have a good few hcs on our favorite cowboy anyway XP

First of all where he would live, not sure how long it would take to get to a job if your home is another ring so let's just say he get's an apartment somewhere in Imp City, hes not a fan of big cities but it's a nice enough place he can make his own for the most part. Putting Western Decor and stuff/

Sidenote: He'd probably need to find another place to house Bombproof for the most part, not sure if rental stables are a thing, maybe Stolas could, he probably owns a stable XP

Hobby wise, well for one, he's a bit of musician, wrote a whole song in the middle of a competition after all. He's best with a guitar, but he knows a few others, tamborine he's decent with, is reluctantly good with a harmonica despite how stereotypical it is, and he's a decent singer too, with any more modern or "techy" instruments he'll take some time to learn, never gets used to having plug them up XP Also never give this man a violin, your ears will not forgive you.

Sidenote: In this AU, I actually have Striker rescue Chaz from Crimson, respecting the scam against the mob boss even if Chaz is an idiot and essentially gets a roommate, I think it'd be really cute if they sing together sometimes (Am I giving fuel for a lot of Striker ships? Yes I am XP)

As for sidejobs, I couldn't see him doing much professionally, he doesn't like to overextend his energy if he doesn't need to, he might do some odd jobs on his own, maybe dragging Chaz into it as he doesn't intend to let his co workers lecture him about dragging them into problems.

Though I could see him hopping back to Wrath for a rodeo, he's too much of a showboat to not let himself get the spotlight from time to time. XP Up to you if he invites the rest of the team or keeps the downtime to himself.

Also Chaz or Blitz introducing him to video games, I think he'd find some enjoyable, imagine him at Dark Souls XP

As for food idk :I I'm not much of a cook myself and being a vegitarian limits my knowledge even more, I will say I don't feel Striker is vegitarian, or at least eats a lot of imitation meat if he is one, Tough food like that keeps teeth strong and I hc him as a biter XP Though again I can't do much on his favorite overall food XP

One more thing, that's pretty far removed from typical cowboy affair, Striker in his desire to get on par with demonic nobilty, has learned a good bit about magical stuff, he ain't no sorcerer of course, but he knows how to use magical weapons as we know, as well as making magical poisons and stuff from Hells Flora and Fauna, just another way he got crafty to get powerful and dangerous.

With enchanted weapons, he prefers blessed, but most intrique him, fire ones especially.

Of course these are all most headcannons, but ones I enjoyed making ^^

[ariesreadtoo]

Wrath (The Love is Cure, Vol. 1 Vices & Virtues Book 6)

Wrath (The Love is Cure, Vol. 1 Vices & Virtues book 6) by Brookelyn Mosley is about Lauryn James and Asher Truesdale. At a young age Lauryn experienced something so traumatic she has a difficult time sleeping, so she spends her nights waitressing in a New York strip club. She loathes men something serious and her work environment does nothing but add fuel to fire. When man get handsy with her she gets handsy with them (and I mean that in no way sexual). Lauryn is rightfully filled with raged, she’s closed off to the world so it can’t hurt her. Asher had a different upbringing than Lauryn. He grew up in the Hamptons with an overbearing mother and a present yet absentee father. he’s just come back to New York after living in Bali for a year, trying to find himself. His new apartment is in the same building as Lauryn’s and from the moment they meet eyes a spark is lit. I love that even as a counselling psychology student Asher never tries to shrink Lauryn. He uses his learnings to inform how he approaches Lauryn and that means everything! Asher is genuine and kind. The dates he plans are intentional, it’s obvious that he’s cultivating a relationship that allows Lauryn the space to be soft. Lauryn’s aunt Evelyn is a godsend. The relationship Evelyn and Lauryn have is beautiful, i’m glad that Lauryn had someone she could trust when she’d closed herself off to the world. You could see the depts she went through to protect Lauryn. Plus I love Sunday dinners! The way the story unravels feels authentic and realistic. So many important conversations were had and of course therapy with Dr. Liz Peters is phenomenal. There's discussions of traumatic themes yet I was still left with a warm fuzzy feeling. The balance of the light and dark, heavy emotion and elation was perfect to me. Asher and Lauryn are the two sweetest hearts 🥰 Awww this has been a lovely experience! My fav trope is present so you know I'm over the MOON! This series has been such a delight to read, I can't believe we have 1 more vice left.

P.s. The bonus epilogue was the cherry on top!

P.s.s. Btw Asher is cousins with Summer (read PRIDE book 1, if you haven’t already). If you thought Summer’s mom was bad you have to meet Patricia Truesdale. That lady takes the cake and the way she oversteps boundaries no wonder Asher ran off to Bali.

Cw~ kidnapping and sexual assault survivor. Mentions of suicidal thoughts and abortion.

**I don't own the rights to the images on this teaser. Credits to ownerships**

[nerdyporcelain]

This song is inherently about where Licricia's heart lies now, at the unfolding of the act II of their adventure:

Licricia loving so deeply, and finally learning not to run from the loss that comes with it, finding her strength to believe in herself, to embrace her nature, fight for her love, to stand up and make herself heard in this fight

After finally breaking down she builds her hope up - in her lowest moment she reaches out to the Old Gods, choosing to desperately trust in them to hear her plea: keep her loved ones safe, to watch over them as they go through all this hardship despite everything the world put them through already. Even when they don't believe in themselves and feel lost, Licricia sees them as worthy of her love and effort - she will not make the same mistakes as everyone else who abandoned them and abandoned the fight. She is willing to fight for the Old Gods if it means she'll be fighting alongside her people

Just like Morgan once taught her, she now feels it, the connection to her calling - knows that her goddess of nature is observing what will Licricia do in light of the truth coming out. She knows that something bigger is coming and the world is waiting for their next move, and she stands her ground in wait, bracing for the next move of whoever might be writing their story. She is aware that both Old and New gods are pulling the strings (the first in misterious ways, for misterious reasons, the latter to manipulate them). They see greatness to be written in their path - destruction, rebirth, death, freedom - and she sees it too, knows that they have an important role to play, a stand to make, wherever they'll end up

Now, this is my favorite part - for the first time, Licricia truly takes her own power.

She's taken some blasphemous actions against The Dawn already, but the day she outright forsakes them is inevitable and near - just as the day she leaves Hydria and some loved ones behind. She is ready to entrust herself to the Old Gods fully if it means keeping her dear ones save. The Dawn might not be afraid of mortals, but she is no ordinary mortal, but a woman made of love and stars, fueled by the powers that were said to be dead for centuries. Her power is so great she herself doesn't even recognize it, but she is getting ready to embrace it. If the New Gods even dare to taunt her by harming either Ozyrus or Morgan, the Abandoned, or anyone else she cares for - she doesn't know how or when, but she will make them feel her wrath. As for the Old Gods - she could be their voice, give her all to their cause, but if they fail to look after those she cares for, she will abandon them without hesitation. She'll never again listen to bystanders who tell her she doesn't matter or can't make a change, because she CAN and she will

Licricia hears the old rebel songs of her long dead love, Ophelia, and remembers the fight she once inspired in her, but in her memory they sound more like desperate cries now. She sees how tired people are of the way the world is, how tired she herself is, how her loved ones are caught up in this mess, and doesn't know how she can help. Where does she find the strength to fight, how could she alone possibly make a better world for the people?

(additionally - Ozyrus sees how the weight of the fight lies on Licricia's shoulders and he feels powerless to make it better, to bring back the old days when everything was dark, but at least they had each other and that was enough)

Licricia sees how alone and bitter Ozyrus is, she knows how much he'd want her to stay, but she can't - her fight is elsewhere and they both know it. She wishes his heart wouldn't break, she wishes she could stay, she wishes she could free him from this prison, but she can't. She finally has the power to change things and she intends to use it to it's fullest. They have different roles to play, and the same goes for the rest of the world - she'd love to ignite the spark to fight in everyone who's lost hope for a better life, to call them into action, but it's just not possible, not yet. The burden of danger and action is only for Licricia and the Abandoned to carry, for now

And so, she will carry that burden, because that's what she must do. That's what she yearns to do. She'll promise to return and leave Ozyrus and Morgan behind. She will take her part in this play, sing her part of the song, because even if the rest of the Abandoned choose to leave it behind, she won't. She is tied to the Old Gods. She must fight for them, because if it's the fight or being idle, the answer is clear. She can't stand to be idle anymore. Whatever happens, wherever fate or any of the gods, or the Grand Puppeteer take them, she will brave it in hopes of making the world a better place. Not for petty wars of men and Gods, but for the people - she will free them - the living and the dead, - free the children, free the Abandoned, free her friends. Licricia will do it with love in her heart, love that she's always had, love that she was made of. And if she is to perish in the fight, that is what her legacy will be - love.

[starstwinkleplanetsshine]

The Call of Resistance Chapter 9

I know it's been a long time, but I still love this story and will keep adding to it whenever I have time! So here's the next chapter!

Read on AO3

Chapter 9: The Stardestroyer

It took everything in me to keep walking towards the Millennium Falcon, my head was screaming at me to turn around. But my heart was steady, set, determined. It had waited for this moment my entire life, and I could hear it pounding in my ears as I took each step. The suns were already beginning to scorch the sands, reminding me with every moment beneath their wrathful gaze why I was leaving this planet behind. The suns represented everything Tatooine was–unforgiving, relentless, unbearable, barren, vengeful–and everything I wanted to escape. I let the sweat on my brow fuel me and remind me why I was leaving. Just a few more steps…

“Good morning!” Poe’s voice called me out of my head and made me look up at the ship I was walking towards. 

“I was beginning to worry you got lost.” 

“Me getting lost? You’ll learn that never happens.” The extreme bravado and swagger in his voice made me wonder if he was covering for something, and this suspicion was only strengthened as Chewie said something to him that seemed to be a chastisement. I shared a knowing look with the Wookiee after Poe quickly shushed him. 

“And why don’t I believe you?” Poe glared at Chewbacca once more. 

“You should always believe me, Sweetheart.” I raised my eyebrows at the pilot as I took my first steps onto the platform. 

“For some reason, that doesn't reassure me.” Poe just shook his head, but I could see a glimmer in his eye. 

“You’ll see.” Was all he said until I was standing in front of him. “Well, don’t just stand there. Come on in.” The pilot and the Wookiee turned around, not before Chewie gave me a welcoming greeting, and walked into the Falcon. It seemed so natural for them, so mundane. As common as walking into a cantina. How could they not see that this was not the same as walking into any old ship, this was walking into history. This was walking into my future. 

I took a shaky breath, stole a glance at the sands behind me and the suns above me, said a silent goodbye, and followed their lead into the ship. 

It was just as I remembered it, if not a little messier. 

“Been doing a lot of repairs?” I called into the empty open space just inside the doors. I couldn’t see where the two of them went. 

“We’re always doing repairs on this ship.” I heard Poe’s voice call from one of the hallways, followed by a disgruntled phrase in Shyriiwook. “I know, I know. Sorry Chewie, but you gotta admit this bucket of bolts has seen better days.” This time Poe’s voice was gentler, clearly trying to right any offense that had just taken place. Chewie seemed to agree with this, and I found the two just as he was replying. I cleared my throat as I entered the hallway. “Ah, there you are.” Poe turned to me and I was struck all over again by his deep eyes. 

“Sorry, I was…” how could I explain that I was taking a moment to say goodbye to everything I had ever known? That I was bidding farewell to the suns that had raised me, the sands that had shaped me? The only being in the galaxy who truly knew me? “Lost.” 

“Ya, the Falcon can be a bit confusing. Sorry about that, we should’ve waited for you.” 

An interjection by the Wookiee. 

“Actually, I thought I asked you to wait for her, so who's fault is it really?” 

“Oh it's okay, I didn’t mind.” I could tell the two were about to argue, and I didn’t want to be caught in the middle of it. This didn’t stop Chewbacca from grumbling out one last defense, to which Poe just sighed deeply and quickly shook his head. 

“Well, regardless, welcome back. We should be ready to take off pretty soon, are you good to go?” 

No. 

“I was ready twenty three years ago.” the pilot broke into a smile. 

“That’s what I like to hear. Follow us.” The two led the way to the cockpit and settled into the pilots chairs. I felt odd as I sat in the empty seat behind Chewbacca, I had never been in a ship without being the one in control, even when I was little I sat on my mother’s lap and put my hands over hers as she steered. Poe and the Wookiee began making the preparations to take off, the two falling into their routine like it was second nature to them. It was fascinating to watch both of them work. Chewbacca had the nonchalance and confidence of someone who had been in this position a thousand times, it was so routine to him that he flipped every switch and checked every screen almost as if it were an old habit. Poe, on the other hand, had the ease of someone who was a complete natural. It wasn’t the assured confidence that comes with time, but the innate instinct that comes from deep inside someone. Watching him settle into his position as a pilot was mesmerizing, and I almost forgot I was about to leave the only place I had ever known. It was the pilot's voice that brought me back to reality. 

“Flight prep complete, hyperspace calculations running, ready for launch on your go.” 

A confident reply from Chewbacca. 

“Great, let's leave these sands behind us.” 

Suddenly my stomach was doing flips and everything inside of me was telling me to run off the falcon and bury myself in the sands and stay there forever. But despite the fear and uncertainty, despite my churning stomach, I felt a still, small pull inside like a magnet drawing me up, to the stars. A still, small voice whispering so faint I almost missed it, “finally”. 

“Say your final goodbyes, Nova, because we’re about to go.” As soon as he finished those words I felt the Falcon roar with energy, with life. With a jerk, we were off the ground and I could see it get farther and farther as the sky became closer and closer. I pushed down the knot in my stomach and breathed out one final goodbye, and to my surprise the faintest “thank you” escaped my lips. The two in front of me pretended not to hear, although I could see Poe’s face morph into the slightest smile. I didn’t know who I was thanking, the earth I grew up on? The suns that baked me into who I am? The sand that was a part of my very being? The desert that flowed through me? Lux for being my best friend? Maybe all of it. I was so overwhelmed as we lifted higher and the sky around us became darker. A part of me wished I could’ve seen my home as we ascended, but another part was glad I couldn’t so that I was only focused on my next steps, my future. Before long we were making the unmistakable transition from atmosphere to space, my favorite thing about flying, and I was hit all at once with the reality and finality of my actions. I couldn’t do anything but stare at the stars ahead. 

After a while, Poe spoke again. 

“Hyperspace calculations complete. Course set for the base.” He then turned to look at me, “have you ever been in hyperspace before?” I could only shake my head, hoping he couldn’t tell that I was exploding inside. “Oh, you’ll love it. Some people get a little sick, but I think you’ll be fine. Hold on!” He looked to Chewbacca who nodded before letting out an excited exclamation and activating the lever that sent us into hyperspace. I couldn’t do anything but gasp as the stars stretched around me, forming the most beautiful tunnel of blue streaking light I had ever seen. It was like a million shooting stars all at once were frozen yet in constant motion around me. For what seemed like the embarrassing millionth time today, I felt a tear roll down my cheek that I quickly wiped away. I told myself it was because of the beauty, but I knew it was really because this marked the end of my life on Tatooine and the beginning of my new one. In a moment, we were already thousands of lightyears away, in an instant we were an incomprehensible distance from the only home I had ever known.

Suddenly it was all very, very real. And I knew there was no going back. 

We sat in silence for a while, my eyes fixed on the swirling blue around me, occasionally watching the two pilots as they worked. Before long, Poe took his headset off and turned his head to Chewbacca, 

“We should be good to put it on autopilot for a while, our path is pretty clear.” The Wookiee responded in agreement before pushing some buttons and then taking his own headset off. Poe swirled around in his chair to look at me.

“How are you feeling? Still good?” It took all my willpower to pull my eyes away from the hyperspace swirling outside the cockpit window. 

“More than good, this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” A wide smile crept onto Poe’s face. 

“I knew you’d love it.” He stood up and then extended his hand towards me. “Wanna tour?” I took his offer before even realizing it, ignoring the fireworks in my fingers as my hand touched his and he helped me out of the seat. 

“Of course!” I didn’t try to mask my giddiness, just being in this ship made me feel like all of my childhood dreams were becoming real and it was as if I was a little kid again, listening as my mothers stories came alive. 

He showed me around the Falcon for a while, I didn’t try to keep track of time as we wandered through the winding hallways and cluttered rooms. He told me stories from his adventures on the ship, and I asked question after question. I kept having to pinch myself to remind myself I was really there, standing on the same floor that countless heroes of the rebellion have stood on before me. I was beaming the whole time. 

  After a while Poe led me to an open room with a Dejarik table, a bench, and mismatched equipment strewn about. I gladly sat down on the bench behind the holochess board, I had been on my feet for quite some time.

“Do you play?” Poe sat on the other side of the bench and put his hands on the table. 

“I never have, no. They have these at a few of the cantinas but they’re not exactly friendly spaces to learn.” He let out a small chuckle. 

“You don't have to tell me that. Do you want to play? I can teach you.” 

“Oh I know how, I’ve watched a lot of matches. I’ve just never gotten the chance to practice.” 

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” He gave me a wicked smile as he flipped a switch and holographic monstrous creatures appeared on the board. “Pick four.” Was all he said. 

“Bring it on.” 

It was a close game, but Poe won on the last move and was not at all a humble victor. I swore that I would beat him next time and reminded him that it was only my first time playing and I had already almost beaten him. 

“Well, we’ll see about that, sweetheart.” I instinctively crinkled my nose at the nickname, as it was one of my least favorite things in the galaxy to be called. “What?” The pilot asked with genuine concern. 

“It’s just that…” I hesitated for a moment, not sure how to say what I was feeling. “I hate being called that. “Sweetheart”. Just some bad memories, I guess.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Poe’s eyes softened as he looked at me. “I’ll think of something else to call you, then.” The playful gleam in his eye had returned, but the softness was still there. 

“Or you could just call me Nova, you know like, my name?” He scoffed as he stood up. 

“But where’s the fun in that?” I rolled my eyes at him but let out a small laugh. “I’m gonna go work on some minor repairs, they shouldn’t take long. Feel free to wander around, just don’t get lost. And don't break anything.” 

“Are you sure you don’t need help with the repairs?” Poe smiled kindly, if not a little arrogantly. 

“I’ll be fine. See you in a bit, Tatooine.” I cocked my head at him and narrowed my eyes. 

“I’m not sure if I like that one either.”

“Too bad, because I love it.” And without looking back, he walked out of the room and down a hallway. 

I sat there for a few minutes just processing all that had happened today before getting up and walking down a hallway that I thought would lead me back to the cockpit. At the moment that was the only spot I knew on the ship where I could see out into space, so I wanted to go back there and watch the stars. I took a couple of wrong turns and had to backtrack quite a bit, but eventually I found my way back. It was empty when I walked in, so I sat in the right pilot's seat, where Poe had sat during take off. My preferred seat. We were still in hyperspace so there wasn’t much to look at besides the tempestuous blue and white tunnel all around me, but I was still mesmerized by it. I sat there for a long while, letting the beauty and enormity of it wash over me, thinking about how every step I had ever taken had led me to this very moment. If I was quiet enough, and I listened hard enough, it was almost as if I could hear my mothers voice, faint but undeniable, whisper that she was proud of me. It was almost as if–

Suddenly lights were flashing and beeping erupted in the cockpit. There was an error message blinking on one of the screens in a strange dialect of binary I had never seen before, but I could still read. I had just figured out that it said we were making an emergency jump out of hyperspace when the streams of blue around me shortened, froze, and then suddenly vanished. Seemingly out of nowhere I was surrounded by darkness, stars, and the largest starship I had ever seen in my entire life. 

I knew what it was the moment I saw it. 

A star destroyer.

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Surpassing the Trespassers

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+ Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM FORGIVEN

I AM RIGHTEOUS

I AM LOVING

I AM FORGIVING

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

Apologies are sometimes hard to do because it’s us putting our emotions aside and caring about how someone else feels, and a lot of times, that doesn’t feel good at all. I can say that sometimes it’s hard to apologize when I haven’t done anything wrong, but I have learned it’s not about me. It’s not about the other person; it’s about God. A lot of us can’t get past that part; we are focused on ourselves and how hurt we are and the situation, but God wants us to look over what’s going on and what’s happening and stay focused on him.

Jesus was teaching one day, and one of the things he said to his disciples was this: “Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them. Luke 17:4”

It says here we must forgive and also says here that no matter how many times we offend someone, we must go back and repent or ask forgiveness; see, people look at this verse and say see you have to forgive them, but it also says we must go and be forgiven too, that it doesn’t matter how many times but we must do that, this clears both parties and must do this now ALOT of people are going refuse to apologize but if you're going to be a child of God with a Christ-like mindset you must do this. Jesus didn’t say this walk was going to be easy. I have apologized to people more times than I can count, but I can’t focus on that. I must focus on God and my relationship with HIM.

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

When we think we have offended someone ,telling someone to get over it or saying oh, you be okay, stuff like this doesn't help it. No, these words aren’t complicated, but they don’t help at all; they don’t help establish that you are sorry; it just adds fuel to the fire, but just like anything, we have to allow the Holy Spirit to show us how to fix the problem, we can think we know how to do this, but we don’t! We must learn that the Holy Spirit knows everything, and he will direct our path when we don’t know, but we must render him everything so that he can guide us; we must rely on the Holy Spirit.

“John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

When we ask for someone to forgive us, we are showing love. Jesus showed this the whole time he was here; he showed love; he didn’t let what people did or said take him out of character because he loved beyond what they said. He knew words were just words, and he didn’t let them affect him. We must be the same way people will see who we are if we show love; people will know you by the fruits you bare, and people can see who is genuine and who is just doing it just because!

Forgiveness is hard, but we must understand that God forgave us, and if he can forgive us of ALL, not some, but ALL of our transgressions, don’t you think we can forgive other people? It’s letting go and allowing yourself to forgive yourself because we are causing damage to ourselves when we don’t; we are causing damage to our self when we don’t ask forgiveness instead of saying she’s alright or we good , no make sure that the person you offended is alright because the very things we speak can cause us problems later we will be judge by every idle word and every thought!

**Today, God is asking us to go to the people that we think don’t deserve an apology, go to the people we think YOU DIDN'T OFFEND, AND tell them you are sorry because when we take the time. We acknowledge someone’s feelings; it allows us even to know our own. A lot of times, we harbor on things we need to let go of; we harbor on things we think someone is mad at, and they aren’t; we all have something going on or something we are dealing with, and we need to look at life in that perspective sometimes it’s not about us it’s about God and how can we be pleasers to God! ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

========================

PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father we thank you for everything we ask you today to help us forgive others of things they have done to us . It’s hard to do father to forgive someone of what they did because it’s hurts . We ask you to give us more strength to endure , give us more of you help us to be like you. Help us to look over someone’s actions and help us to be compassionate. Today please open our eyes if offended you or the Holy Spirit , please help us walk in holiness and clean ears and hand in Jesus Name Amen

========================

REFERENCES

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+ Colossians 3:13 Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive

+James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working

+Luke 6:27 But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you

========================

FURTHER READINGS

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Genesis 50:1- Exodus 2:10

Matthew 16:13-17:9

Psalm 21:1-13

Proverbs 5:1-6

=========================

[silvernyxchariot]

Haha! It's been ceturies, but I've finally made a new one.

Meet the Artist w/ GothicManda15

Click for better quality

Some random interview questions I wanted to answer

⚠️TW: profanity and allusions to emotional manipulation & assault⚠️

"If you were a classic movie monster, what would you be?"

Ghoulia Yelps. . . I mean, a zombie. The old school, "Night of the Living Dead" type. Physically I'm not very adept and have a hard time speaking. It's frustrating conversing with normies, especially about the things that I don't care about (tbh, I wish people would leave me alone) and if someone were to attack me, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't feel a damn thing until ten minutes have passed. Happens a lot actually, where I have a cut or bruises without realising it. Sometimes I forget I'm alive./hj

"Are you 15? Your username says so."

I am, in fact, not fifteen years of age. However, I've had this username since I was a fifteen year old brat. The explanation I use now is what I call the "Ichigo Kurosaki," the 15 is representative of the Japanese kanji 一語 (いちご/ichigo), meaning "one who protects."

"Do you kin anyone? Do you know what shifting is?"

Well, besides Ghoulia mentioned earlier, my anime kins are Obey Me's Satan, Sui-feng/Soi Fon (whatever your local translation spells it), Lisa Yadōmaru, Akasuna no Sasori, Shōta Aizawa, and Risotto Nero. You can totally trust me to hold your drink at a party./ref I have heard of shifting; I do not partake in it.

"What is stressing you out right now and how can you be more calm?"

Let's see, health insurance, my non-existant social life, finding a decent full-time job or a 2nd part-time, crippling student loan debt, affording toiletries or food, looking over my shoulder so I don't get fucked up by some creep just because I'm afab + a POC... you know, just things that deal with burn out and survival. How do I become more calm? I don't.

"Do you have any advice for anyone younger than you?"

Risotto. I keep forgetting I'm not in my late teens/early twenties anymore. I'm supposed to be the senpai now.

If you're coming to me for advice, I would have to say you're desperate. I'm the hermit type that doesn't go out much, so my life has been pretty solitary and unlived. The burn out doesn't help either. If anything, "Live and let live" and trust no one. If they're not bothering me, I'm not going to bother them. Problem now is, I haven't lived.

With that being said, if you're looking for a adventurous and exciting life, whatever that plan you have for your future is, just do it. Go on a cross country road trip. Fly over to Greece, Italy, Japan, Thailand, Peru, wherever. Eat your 2nd/3rd/4th slice of cake without worrying about your blood sugar or weight. Learn how to surf, swim, or just laze around in the pool all day. Buy a venti/trenta at Diabetes in a Cup, I mean Starbucks. No judgement. I also make purchases there. Get out of your abusive household. Go out to ride some dunebuggies in the middle of the night. Try all the different flavors; this isn't about food. Although, I feel like most social media is advocating for this "yolo" type of life, so you probably didn't need to hear it from me.

Trust no one. But love wholeheartedly and be your beautiful self. I'm not saying it's easy. Gods, No. It will hurt, emotionally and maybe physically. But don't be a victim and let the world control you. Wrangle the world by its throat and control the world you live in. You don't have to forgive everyone. Fuck. I inhale that poison called "resentment, spite, and wrath." At this point, I'm fueled by negativity. There are so many people I will never forgive. I feel so ostracized and outcasted by those manipulative swine, but I'm still here. Be polite and civil, but you don't have to have respect for them.

Err, that's all that I really have now. The... spiralling started. My asks (and anon) are open if you want to talk. I guess.

[m0n0-l0s3r]

MAMMON HEAD CANON #3

Mammon took care of Satan.

Let’s be honest, Mammon, was and still is, I’d say the most compassionate one out of the demon bros. So I don’t think it would really be much of a stretch that he cared for him in some way.

Taking into account lots of the factors, Mammon was probably more open about how he felt and felt no need to hide or play ‘tsundere’ when they first fell. He might have even tried getting closer to his brothers after, inevitability ending in failure because they’re grieving.

Ultimately he understood that they were grieving and decided to give them space while still making sure to care for all of them in someway or another. Whether it was buying small accessories for Asmo to help with getting used to his sin or making sure leviathan didn’t just stay cooped up in his room, leaving beel an extra serving of food after dinner, carrying belphie back to his bed after falling asleep in random places to even leaving warm cups of tea outside Lucifer’s room after he finished his paperwork for the day.

All in all, they were a bunch of sad sacks sitting around the house. Mammon probably also looked for ways to distract himself about Lilith’s death and well what better way than taking care of his new baby brother.

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HOW IT HAPPENED

Now this isn’t his first rodeo. He’s had five other younger brothers and one sister to care for when they were back up in the celestial realm. So when Lucifer, one day out of nowhere comes home with a small bundle of green in his arms that’s immediately pushed into his with only a small mumble of “here,” he was more than ready.

At first it was pretty smooth sailing for them, sure there were a few ups and down, what with him having bowls of baby food thrown at him and having to deal with his temper tantrums, it was pretty good. Then the teething started. Little twerp would naw on anything he could get his hand on. Be it people or not, if he could get his small hands on it or you, it was free game. He was worse than a hungry Beel.

Oh, but it got much worse once he was mobile.

When the little one took his first step Mammon was over by the bookshelves picking out a bed time story for him. Now imagine his surprise when he felt a small hand grasp his pant leg. You better bet there were tears of joy because only more would follow. He couldn’t help it, he’s an emotional guy, ya know? He only wished he had gotten it on tape, so that he could rewatch it over and over again. After all, his baby brother had come to him and what a while it would be until it happened again.

.

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“Da!” His first word. Oh, did his heart ever feel this giddy yet terrified all at once. His first word, his precious little ones first word. How over over joyed he was to finally hear him speak! Yet, the fear in his heart grew and along came a clammy feeling of cold dread washing over him. Away went the giddiness of hearing his first word and in its place sat the festering dread. Gently, he ruffled the little one’s head, tears at the corner of his eyes as he knelt in front of him. Looking him in the eyes, he spoke in the sternest tone he ever had.

And then he became “Mammy.”

After a while, once he could speak and walk properly came the question of “what’s my name?” Names. He had completely forgotten that the little one never received a name. Back in the celestial realm, names were given by their father. Father. He had no right to give him a name. He froze. Taking in a deep breath and holding it then letting it out. He marched his way up to Lucifer’s office, knocked once before opening the door without so much of a response for the other.

So what if he came back a bit bruised and battered after? It was worth it in the end because he had gotten a name, “Satan.”

Mammon and little Satan went on many adventures after. They strolled through the house garden where they met the two most curious cats. One white and the other yellow. Mammon learned that Satan loved cats. Especially the older white cat that seemed to care for small yellow one.

.

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On their second outing Satan finally met one of his other brothers, Asmo. He was out in the garden with the two cats. Sat by the back glass doors so that Mammon could keep an eye on him at all times when he went inside. He sat there waiting for his Mammy to bring him the glass of apple juice he asked for, he didn’t notice when Asmodeus caught sight of him. As he continued to play the other brother had started to make his way over, pulled by some force and fueled by some unknown rage, he finally reached the small child. Seeing a shadow loom over him, little Satan turned around and the only thing he could remember before everything went dark was blazing pink orbs and the feeling of wrath coursing threw him.

That day he became aware of his other brothers. Ones who weren’t gentle like his Mammy. Ones who didn’t cuddle and care for him when he cried. Ones who didn’t love him like his Mammy does.

He learned to stay away from them when his Mammy wasn’t around.

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As time went on Satan grew right before his eyes. He was both saddened and happy. Saddened that his little boy brother was growing up so fast and probably wouldn’t need him again like he used to. Saddened that the tight knit relationship they once had was coming undone right before him. But he was happy. There came a strange form of relief and happiness from watching someone who was once so small grow right in front of you. Time continued on and everything began to change. He was saddened yes, but he was happy. Happy that his other brothers were coming around to the idea of Satan being a part of the family. Happy that they had finally overcome their grief, and accepted the loss of their sister. They were finally a family again. Ah, his eyes were starting to sting and the smile on his lips began to wobble.

Oh no. He was getting emotional again, wasn’t he?

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[beels-burger-babe]

I Burn For You

***So THIS has been stuck in my head all day and I just- I love it. I love it so much. And it reminded me...So you guys all know how I hate/love Lucifer...it gave me those vibes. So........... Well I haven't written anything actually relevant to The Facade of the Suitor or anything else that I've been procrastinating, I have been able to push out this little short inspired by this beauty of a duet that is EVERYTHING to me. -B***

Summary: Since MC's arrival, Lucifer and them have never fully gotten along. There was always a large, unknown and undiscussed tension between them and they were fine to keep it that way. But when MC's security in the Devildom is threatened by both the angels and the nobility of the Devildom itself, everything changes. As a ruse to persuade the celestial realm, MC and Lucifer wed. After the ceremony, they finally talk about the unacknowledged feelings burning inside of both of them.

MC x Lucifer

The air hung heavy and thick like the gold bands that now decorated both of your fingers.

You and Lucifer stood on opposite sides of the room, your backs facing one another with nothing but silence between you.

You couldn't help but reminisce on how you got here, on your supposed 'honeymoon' married to none other but the prideful, arrogant, avatar of sin, Lucifer Morningstar himself.

Diavolo had burst into the House of Lamentation an entire month ago. He desperately explained how the angels had received word about you through the fond, innocent-intending, stories of Luke and we're demanding that you be 'released' from your 'imprisonment in the infernal Devildom and that they wished to cleanse you of the 'hellish corruption' the demons had 'forced upon you' through your pacts. Wanting to avoid yet another Celestial War, even on a small scale, the noble court had wanted to agree and simply hand you over to them, cut your pacts, and banish you from returning as an act of agreement and co-operation with the angels.

Obviously, this didn't sit well with you or any of the brothers.

You had all tried to come up with a number of plans, but they all promised retaliation from the angels.

Eventually, it was Lucifer himself who begrudgingly came up with the final plan. The angels wouldn't believe you if you simply told them that you liked it here and wanted to stay. They'd think you were charmed or manipulated. However, if the two of you worked together, and pretended to be in a relationship, convince the angels of your 'genuine' feelings and prove to them that you were in love, and finalize this by marrying Lucifer, it just might work.

First of all, love was something that had sparked war in the past, that both sides had learned from and had grown to deeply treasure and value. Secondly, Micheal, head Archangel of the Celestial Realm, trusted Lucifer the most of all the brothers. The two of you could take advantage of that use it to convince him that you were actually safer in the Devildom by Lucifer's side. And finally, if you were willingly bound by marriage, there was very little that the Celestial Realm could do to force you to leave.

The plan wasn't terrible, but there was one thing about it that caused you to clench your fists and grind your teeth: it was with Lucifer.

Lucifer who constantly teased you and pushed your buttons in a way that he knew would cause you to either give in to him or snap.

Lucifer who was cruel and sadistic and did nothing unless there was some personal gain or it was under the demand of his precious Diavolo.

Lucifer who never ever put anything before his own stupid pride.

Though you were normally a calm and positive person, there was just something about Lucifer that had always caused an inferno of anger and rebellion to burn within you. You felt this strong need to constantly prove him wrong and to defy him.

As a result, the two of you consistently butted heads, arguing about Lucifer's treatment of his brothers and your recklessness on an almost weekly basis.

The idea of being chained to this...this demon for the rest of your mortal life caused your stomach to twist tightly into knots. Though, if it ensured you'd be able to stay with the rest of your found family? You'd make the necessary sacrifice.

So the two of you did the whole show. You went on dates, smiled and laughed together as though you were the lead roles in a Hallmark Christmas movie, and played every card in the book to convince the angels that you were safe and happy under the kind watch of your lover.

Those weeks had started off painful, as you pushed back all feelings of disdain for the eldest brother to play the role of the perfect partner. But as time passed, you hadn't noticed that it had become easier and easier to stay by his side. The smiles you gave him were no longer forced, but sincere ones that brought joy. The lines between what was real and what was fake began to blur.

You sealed the deal with your wedding only a few hours ago.

The vows Lucifer had spoken...promising to watch and protect you even as your skin wrinkled and your hair grew grey. To hold your hand and aid you when you no longer had the strength. To shower you in love and devotion even in your final hours.

They had been spoken with such passion and raw emotion that you didn't dare think too deeply about. It had caused your breath to catch in your throat, and you had to remind yourself that this was all an act. Soon the curtain would close, and Lucifer would return to the cold-hearted monster that you knew.

Yet even now, hours after the ceremony had finished, you couldn't get that intense gaze, and the sparks that exploded under your fingertips as his hands gently squeezed yours, out of your head.

Lucifer sighed from the other side of the room and glanced over at you. "Are we just going to continue ignoring each other?"

You scoffed and turned your head further away; ignoring the loud pounding of your heart and instead focusing on the flickers of frustration licking up your gut. "What else are we supposed to do? There's no one else around. The act is over."

You whirled around at his sarcasm and could practically feel the wrath blazing behind your eyes. "Sorry, my Lord, if I'm not exactly giddy about the fact that I just signed myself to the likes of you just for the approval of some fluffy winged assholes!"

You could practically hear Lucifer roll his eyes as he walked over to the liquor cart and poured himself a drink. "Right. So you just plan to spend the entirety of the weekend that Micheal paid for us brooding in a corner? How mature of you."

Lucifer, the fucker, had the gull to act unphased and casually swirled his drink in his hand. "It could be much, much worse," he took a sip of the amber liquid before staring down in his glass. "It's not as though you didn't agree to this."

"Only because I didn't want to be kicked out of the Devildom and never allowed to see your brothers again!" You growled. Your anger only grew as you noticed him clench his fingers tighter around the glass. You groaned and ran a hand through your hair. "This was a stupid plan! You probably just invented this entire ruse as yet another way to get under my skin. Well congratulations, Lucifer. You win!"

You refused to look at him, as you turned your heated gaze out the window.

You didn't see the flash of hurt that washed over his expression, nor hear the way his breath caught in his throat. "Is being married to me truly that awful? Are you honestly telling me that you haven't enjoyed even a single second of this past month?"

You tensed and crossed your arms over your chest, as you continued to avoid looking at him. "What kind of question is that? You're a demon who cares about nothing but himself," you pursed your lips and mentally tried to deny just how wrong those words felt on your tongue.

"I wouldn't say that's true. Believe it or not, I do care for my brothers." There was a shaky breath, one so uncharacteristic for the confident Morningstar, before he continued. "And you. I did promise to love you until your final breath after all, and I do not break my promises."

There was silence once again. Though this quiet seemed to crackle with the anticipation for something, though neither of you quite knew what.

You closed your eyes, refusing to acknowledge the flutter in your heart at his words. "Those vows were only part of the act. They weren't real."

"Perhaps not for you," your eyes snapped open at the response. You looked back at the demon. Lucifer stood leaning against the wall, drink still in hand, as he stared intensely at the floor. "This may have all been an act for you, MC, but it stopped being a ruse for me mere hours after we began."

You felt yourself frown as you stared at him. Your traitor heart dared to grow warm with hope, only adding fuel to the growing frustration inside you. "You're lying. You're just trying to get me worked up again."

"Actually, I'm not," his eyes met yours and it felt as though time froze. His expression was so unguarded, so honest. For once, you looked into his eyes and you could see every emotion that he wore openly before you. You could see the hurt, the certainty, and most of all the same passionate love that shone so brightly in them throughout the ceremony. "From the moment I met you, you caused a fire to ignite in my heart. I was determined to control you and to make you be the human representative for Diavolo. But then, you acted against me, and that changed. I still wanted to make sure that you fulfilling your purpose in the exchange program, but I took on the challenge of finally having you respect and listen to me. You were stubborn and fierce, yet so beautifully driven and I admired that." your eyes widened at the admission. "It wasn't until I was forced to look at you in a romantic light for this scheme that I understood the true nature of these feelings. It wasn't that I wanted to control you, or break you, or shape you into what I needed. It was so much deeper, so much more dangerous than that. I wanted to have you fall in love for me, as I had fallen for you, and make you mine."

He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "I know you don't feel the same. I've accepted that. But I...I'm done with acting like this isn't real for me. I refuse to pretend that there's nothing there between us any longer."

He finally broke eye contact, looking back at his now empty glass as you practically gaped at him. Love. Lucifer...loved you? You gulped and took a step towards him, "Lucifer..."

The fire burning within you consumed you as your face heated up. "You...You love me? You actually love me?"

You flinched as he glared sharply at you. "Don't rub it in."

You didn't know what to make of that. You weren't sure what to make of any of this. Your feelings towards Lucifer had changed over the past month, but you had assumed that was simply part of the act. But if everything he had done and said as you two were pretending to be a couple was real, then what did that mean for you?

What did that mean for the way the sight of him caused your heart to skip? Or the way his rare smiles never failed to make you smile back? Or the unwavering sense of comfort and security that he provided?

What did that mean for the ruthless, scalding fire that he had always caused to rage inside you? You always assumed it was anger, but what if...

You gasped in realization. "I burn for you."

The demon tensed as he blinked in confusion. "You...I'm sorry, you what?"

You moved closer to him, each step more certain than the last, as you shakily spoke the words that rang through you. "I burn for you, Lucifer. I don't know entirely what it means myself, but ever since we met you've caused this irrational passion and drive to sear inside of me. I-I had always assumed it was hatred. You're so infuriating. Every word you speak does nothing but cause that fire to flare brighter within in. Every action leaves me filled with sparks of restless energy that won't be satiated until I combust at you," as you now stood nearly toe to toe with him, you grabbed his hand and placed it over your roaring heart. Hope flickered like a candle in the darkness of his black eyes. "I had thought that this couldn't be anything other than anger and hatred. I refused to believe even the possibility that it could be anything else. But this past month you...you were honest and almost kind and vulnerable. Your teasing didn't make me want to punch you, but rather made me laugh. You showed me a side of you that I didn't even know existed. I...I think-"

You were cut off by a finger on your lips. Lucifer looked down at you with a stern, cold expression. The action paired with that face would've caused you to become infuriated by his audacity and superiority complex in the past. But now you could see past it, and could see it for what it truly was: a carefully crafted barrier that hid his most vulnerable feelings and protected him. "If you do not mean the words you were about to say, if you are pitying me, I must demand that you stop here. Do not say those words unless you truly mean them," his deep voice was tinged with distrust and caution.

You held his gaze as you kissed the pad of the finger against your lips and whispered gently, "Lucifer, I think that I love you."

Suddenly your lips were captured in his as he pulled you close and ever so adoringly cupped your face. For the first time since meeting him, the flames inside you were extinguished by the cold touch of his hands on your face and the surprising gentleness of his affection.

His hand slid from your face and came to rest on your shoulder as his eyes widened. His gaze scanned your expression for any traces of falsehood or insincerity. You could hear the breath leave his lungs as he found none.

He softly kissed his temple, effectively hiding his face as it grew redder and whispered, "Of course, beloved."

Lucifer laughed as he pulled away, his thumb caressing your cheek, as he smiled. "To think it only took us getting married to realize it," you laughed as you felt happy tears prick the corners of your eyes. Lucifer sighed in content as rested his forehead against yours. "Remind me to send a thank you to, Micheal."

You hummed and nuzzled closer to him as you rested your head on his shoulder. "Forget Micheal. He's still an asshole as far as I'm concerned. Instead, focus on me. On us. I want to learn everything about you, about the real you," you smiled as he looked down at you with flushed cheeks. "My husband, Lucifer Morningstar."

You couldn't help but wonder how you had been so oblivious to your true feelings as a shiver ran down your spine and warmth spread throughout your chest simultaneously.

This honest and pure love between the two of you, was new, yet it felt so familiar, and it was abundantly clear to both of you that the depth of those feelings would only become clearer and clearer in time as the fires of your love only grew.

***Gasp. I actually finished something. Would you look at that. Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this little fic! Thank you so much for your support during my hiatus and for being so understanding. I love you guys! Thanks again for reading!***

Taglist: @thegrimgrinningghost @henry-and-the-seven-lords @satans-beloved-riv @cosmixbun @sufzku @lovelymushi @victoireshaven @obey-mes-treasure @kissed-by-a-dementor @yukihaie @justtiarra @mammoneybb @obeys-world @poly-bi-mf @armycandy10 @burrixino

[whatissleepeven]

Okay so imagine the brothers are offered back their divinity if they kill the MC. How would they react? (Oh or for more angst- get back Lilith in exchange for MC’s life?)

Ohohoho, is this angst hour I sense? Thank you for this ask, and I’m...sorry in advance for the heavy feelings-

(Me: Okay angst time, time to play the appropriate song

*begins playing Spiderman Pizza Delivery Theme*

Me: let’s begin)

Trigger Warnings: Panic Attack (Beel’s Prompt), PTSD Symptoms (Also Beel’s Prompt), Talk of Loss

----------------------------

Obey Me! Brothers’ Reactions To An Ultimatum

Lucifer

Well, he certainly does think about it.

No, not about the divinity...but about Lilith.

They could have her back in their lives? All for the price of one human?

This human, who has caused him nothing but grief and throws themselves head-first into danger.

If this was towards the beginning of the program, he’d be more inclined to take it-

But he doesn’t.

He can’t do that to you. Not you. You, who had repaired their broken family. You, who had seen all of their flaws and strengths and passions and fears and embraced them.

You, who continues to smile so brightly and say his name with utmost faith in him.

He lowers his arm. You look fearful, but...resigned. Like it will be fine, like it was okay if he killed you.

He hates it.

“Does your life matter to you that little?”

You smile sadly, and a small portion of him wants to scream. No no no, it cries out, this isn’t how you’re supposed to be! Your smiles aren’t supposed to be full of sorrow!

“Your sister meant-...means a lot to you. To all of you. Who am I to take that away, huh?”

He walks over to you, his steps measured. You close your eyes, waiting for the killing blow-

A weight settles on your head, giving it a few rubs. “You are worth more than you could ever know. Remember that.”

He continues to walk, heading out the door. A few tears drip from your face onto the floor.

He could care less about his divinity. If he had to choose here or the Celestial Realm, he’d much rather stay here. He knows, deep in his heart, that Lilith lived a long and successful life.

You, however, are irreplaceable.

Mammon

“H-Hey...ya gotta be kidding me.”

“Well?” You grin, holding your arms out. Your stance is peaceful, like all you’re asking for is a hug. But he knows better.

Divinity and Lilith? All for killing-...

For killing you?

He hates this. He hates the look in your eyes, hates the trust you’re showing him, and hates your bleeding heart that’s just waiting to be taken for granted. Hell, it already has been taken for granted.

“What do you think you’re doin’, playin’ the hero? Wanting to sacrifice yourself? You think that’ll make us happy?!” Tears gather in the corners of his eyes.

You lower your arms, shocked. “Wha-”

You let out a small oomph as he tackles you into a hug, pulling you close.

“You’re trembling, ya idiot.” He mumbles, and you feel something wet drip onto your shirt. He’s crying, you realize. He’s crying because this hurts him.

“Mammon...I-”

He pulls back to clamp his hands down onto your shoulders. “Save it!” He barks forcefully, making you blink. “Ya really thought I’d give all this up? For something that’s already happened? I like what we got goin’ here. My brothers like this life way better than the ones we had in the Celestial Realm. Everyone’s happier lately, and it’s ‘cause of you.”

The minute trembling that ran through your body before returns in full force, tears pooling forth as you grip his shirt. He pulls you back into the hug, and you feel safe. That’s right; he’s your number one protector, the Avatar of Greed.

How could you forget that?

He grins, reaching a hand up to ruffle your hair in a playful manner. You laugh thickly, your tears still falling. “You’re stuck with the Great Mammon, and don’tcha forget it!”

Because you are his priceless treasure. Not Lilith, not some stupid divinity...

You.

Leviathan

Leviathan has always been the outcast.

His passions, his fears, his confidence...All of those are wildly different from his brothers’. He’s not as close as Beel and Belphie are, or as Lucifer and Mammon are, or as Asmo and Satan are.

He’s the black sheep of the family.

“Y-You’re leaving it up to me...?”

You nod. Oh, how he wishes this was just a run-through of an anime script. You two would spend long hours into the night reading the lines and acting them out, repeating each scene until it was done flawlessly.

But reality is far too cruel.

“It’s your family. Your story. I’m just a side character, if you will.”

Your smile is cynical. He wants nothing more than to throw his spare Ruri-chan blanket around your shoulders and force you to marathon the entire series of “I Love My Best Friend But I Get Everything Back If I Kill Them...I Have A Choice To Make!”.

He takes a step forward. Then another. “You...Why would you do that?”

You laugh, a warm sound that serves to make his stomach knot with dread.

“Because I love you guys, why else?”

Silence. He doesn’t know what to say. What’s the right thing to do? What can he do, with his small confidence?

He’s struck with a memory, of the two of you gaming in his room. He had felt terrible due to his brothers critiquing his love for anime to the point he started to berate himself for it, and you merely patted his shoulder while telling him words he’d never forget.

“There’s things only you can do, Levi. So when you start to overthink...just feel, and let your body handle the rest.”

It’s time to take you up on your advice.

“Ghk-!” You stumble as he lunges at you, the both of you toppling to the floor. He’s crying, clinging to you like a lifeline.

“I-I could never kill the Henry to my Lord of Shadows...Every Lord of Shadows only has one Henry...!!”

Leviathan has always been the outcast. He still is, but when he’s with you he feels like he belongs.

Satan

“No.”

“...Huh.” You blink at him. You’re not sure if you heard him right. Did he just-...say “no”?

“No.” He says again, his eyes narrowing. “Please tell me you’re joking about this.”

Why? Why would you throw away your life like that? For their “happiness”? Give him a break.

“What do you think you’re accomplishing by doing this?” His voice starts quiet, growing in volume as he steps towards you. You backpedal, not expecting the angered response, which only serves to fuel his fury.

“Do you think it’d make us happy? Do you think we’d jump at the chance to sacrifice you for something that’s better long forgotten? Do you really think so little of us? Well? ANSWER ME!!”

You flinch as he gets in your personal space, only to freeze when arms wrap around you and squeeze you tight.

“I was born from Lucifer’s wrath, the only bona-fide demon among my other brothers. For a long time, all I knew was anger and hate,” he whispers, stubbornly refusing to look at your shocked gaze. “I began to read to learn more, to be able to feel other emotions. But the anger and hate stayed, concealed by the thin veil I constructed to make myself more likeable. More polite. More charming.”

He wanted nothing to do with Lucifer. He wanted it so bad it hurt. So he built himself a brand-new personality, becoming someone others could rely on, all so he could spite him.

And then you came along.

Your eyes water as you realize that you feel him shaking. “I never met her, you know, but I’ve seen her through his eyes. I feel his lingering pain, and sometimes it makes me want to tear my own chest out,” he says, voice wobbling. “But to ask you to do that...to give you up for something I have no right to feel upset about...it’s something I won’t do. Ever. Not when you saved me.”

You rest your hand on his back as you return the hug, a choked sob escaping you. “Satan, I-”

“You saved me.” He whispers fervently. “Do you understand? That means everything.”

You claw the back of his shirt, your breath hitching as you succumb to your tears. You both end up falling to the floor, hugging each other like your lives depend on it.

He doesn’t need divinity he’s never had. No, not when he has you.

Asmodeus

“Oh, love...you...”

He could go back? He could go back and get his little sister back?

But if he did, then you’d-...you’d...

“I know how much you miss being the Jewel of the Heavens.” You say, sitting next to him. It’s supposed to be a quiet night, one where you both relax and take care of each other, but then this opportunity appeared and-

He...didn’t know what to do.

- No, that was a lie. He knew exactly what to do. There was only ever one option for him.

“I’m hurt.”

You look over at him, surprised. His voice is small and he’s pouting, but there’s a tremble in his bottom lip as his eyes shine with unshed tears.

“I’m hurt, you know!” He repeats, and by now you’re pretty sure your mouth hangs open. “I’m hurt that you’d think so low of me!”

You scramble to explain. “Asmo, that’s not-”

“But it is!” He cries, interrupting you. “It’s exactly that! Did you think I would actually take that chance?!”

Your eyes soften. You go to place a hand on his shoulder, only to still when he slaps it away. “...Asmo.”

He throws himself at you, wrapping his arms around your neck as he clings to you. You don’t have the heart to throw him off, wrapping your own arms around him.

“We’ve come all this way because of you.” He murmurs against you. “And you’re the only one who loves me for me. Although, my looks are definitely a strong point-”

You chuckle weakly, feeling your own tears start to fall. He smiles once he hears you, happy to know that he lifted your mood even if it was just by a little.

“-if I gave you up, these past years would have been for nothing. So, no; I won’t do it. Besides, have you seen the following I have down here? I’m on my way to becoming the Jewel of Devildom!”

You move one hand to rest on his head, a warm smile spreading across your face. You don’t notice how he looks at your expression with awe and adoration, giving his head a few pats.

“I know you can do it.”

Well. With you by his side, he can do anything.

Beelzebub

This isn’t happening. This- This can’t be happening.

Not again...not again...!

He grasps his chest and stumbles back from you, and he hears the way you call his name with worry in your voice. You sound far away, he thinks to himself. Are you already dead? Where is he? Did he fail again? Is this the Celestial War? Maybe that’s why he smells iron, hears screaming, hears himself screaming. It’ll explain the pain at least, and he would chuckle if he wasn’t too busy gasping for air.

Ah, his heart feels like it’s on fire it hurts so bad. Is it tearing itself in two? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what to do...he doesn’t know who to choose-

It hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. It hurts...!

“Beel, can you hear me? Take deep breaths. Okay? Please, breathe!”

- Huh?

He feels something on his face. What is that?

Oh, this warmth...It’s almost like-

Your name falls from his lips. You sigh in relief, sitting back.

“I’m glad you’re okay. How do you feel?”

How do you feel? You just said it was okay if he chose his angel status and Lilith over you, and you’re asking him how do you feel?

He lowers his hands, frowning at you. “...Why did you ask me?”

His voice is small. Fragile. Your heart breaks at the sound of it, tears building as you see his form shake.

“Why did you ask me, when the last time I did something I murdered my sister?”

You pat his arm, reaching a hand over to give him a side hug. “Remember what Lucifer said. She wasn’t murdered; she lived happily as a human, right up until she died of old age.”

All the more reason not to do it.

He sinks into your hold. You shoulder his weight with no complaints. “I can’t do it. You’re family; I-” he swallows past the lump in his throat, tears streaming down his face. “...I love you too much.”

Because he could care less about his angel status. Because Lilith already lived her life of peace. It still hurts, but you were the one to hold his hand when he had nightmares. You were the one who saw past his intimidating form and hung out with him.

You are important, and Beelzebub will take on the Celestial Realm himself if anything happened to you.

Belphegor

...He’s quiet.

Well, it’s to be expected. He hates humanity, and it’s his younger sister we’re talking about here, not to mention how close they were.

“So?” You ask as you lean back, the wall of the planetarium supporting your weight. “I don’t mind if you choose her and your status. It’s-”

“I could give a rat’s ass about my status as an angel.” He snaps. “Just shut up for a second and listen.”

You shut your mouth. What were you gonna say to that? An angry Belphie is not a Belphie to speak lightly with.

You jolt a bit as you feel hands lightly smack against your cheeks, smooshing your face. He tugs your head so that you’re staring at him, and it’s then that you notice how his eyes waver.

“I killed you,” he says, his brows furrowing, “I killed you. And yet you’d let me choose?”

You snort, raising a hand to cover his own. “Yep. Your move, Sleeping Beauty.”

He doesn’t understand. Why would you give him that power? He had robbed you from your family when he took your life. He temporarily washed out your future.

Did you really trust him that much...?

“It tore Beel and I apart when we learned she was dead. I-...I blamed myself.” He starts, and you don’t have the heart to stop him. Not when you already made peace with your end. “I started eating less, sleeping more. I despised Lucifer, and I despised all of humanity for taking my little sister away from me.”

You remained quiet. He lets out a frustrated huff, shaking you a bit.

“And then you came. You freed me from that place, you mended what was broken, and you-...you forgave me. And I will never betray that trust; not now, and not in the future.”

He bumps his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. You close yours as well, feeling the tears drip from your face and onto the floor. He’s...choosing you? Over everything he’s ever wanted?

What did you do to deserve someone like him in your life?

“So don’t you forget it, you idiot.”

[ynscrazylife]

i’m a simple gal...... i like seeing natasha being overprotective and a little homicidal SO could i please request some cute mentor!almost itherlynat x reader? maybe reader gets badly hurt during training or someone on the team hurts her feelings? mamabear stabs? 🥺

More Than A Mentor | n.r fluff fic

Summary: After an accident, Y/N realizes her and Natasha’s relationship goes beyond mentor and mentee.

Authors Note: Thank you for requesting! I’ve missed writing Marvel/Natasha.

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 | Main Masterlist

Request to be on a Taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/marvelocks

Natasha was not an easy mentor, and Y/N learned that quickly. She was understanding and patient, yes, but she also knew when to push Y/N and went to be a little stricter. 

The thing was, Y/N was never completely sure what side she’d get of her mentor at what time - though she found herself not having to worry about it after . . . The Accident. 

That disastrous day would go down in the team’s history, yet no one liked to talk about it. It was a day Y/N would never forget: it changed . . . everything.

It was one of the rare days that Y/N wasn’t training with Natasha. She had a meeting with Fury so Steve filled in for her. Y/N was not accustomed to training with a super soldier, and had to quickly adjust (it didn’t make it any easier that he had his shield, too). 

She was doing well - at least, she wanted to think that she was - and so far had deflected almost every punch from Steve, managing to get one or two punches against him herself. 

Nonetheless, the air was knocked out of her when Steve slammed her against the mat. She grunted, angry only fueling the pain when she saw that stupid smirk on his face, and used that to her advantage; he wouldn’t expect her to recover so quickly (and in truth, neither did she) but she did it anyway, throwing all her weight against the Captain. She secured he legs around his waist like Natasha taught her and, using the strength in her legs and pushing his broad shoulders, just about managed to get herself out from being pinned on the mat. Now, though, they were both sorta sitting on the mat, so Y/N kneed him in the chest, pushing him down. 

“You’re good,” he whispered, just slightly out of breath, before he - seemingly without using any strength at all - threw her to the side where she rolled. 

Y/N cursed under her breath, getting her feet. It was impossible to win against a super-soldier! Think, Y/N, think, what did Natasha teach you? Cmon! 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Steve grabbing his shield, and got in a stance to either catch it or evade it - she hadn't decided yet - when yells distracted her. In her hyped up, adrenaline-pumped state, the first thing that came to Y/N’s mind was that someone was hurt. She was about to call of the training when a large, solid force smacked into her stomach, sending her flying into the air where she hit the wall, losing consciousness. 

Steve's eyes widened, not thinking it’d actually hit her, and jumped into action. “Who the hell screamed?” The blonde yelled as he ran to his fallen teammate. He carefully turned her on her back and looked her over for injuries, seeing bruises and bleeding starting to form on her stomach and ankle and her head bleeding. 

Bucky and Sam practically crashed inside the room, trying to beat each other. 

“He threatened me!” Sam exclaimed. 

“He tried to steal my metal arm!” Bucky defended. 

Both men came to a screeching halt when they digested the scene, though. Steve rolled his eyes at his idiotic friends and tried to put pressure on Y/N’s head wound. “Sam, get Bruce, please. Tell him to prepare med - and Bucky, get Natasha. She’ll want to be here,” he ordered, and the men nodded, guilty. 

Steve carefully picked Y/N up in his arms and hoisted her into the air, carrying her to med where Bruce and Helen were, Sam explaining the situation to them. Instantly, Helen jumped into action. She instructed Steve to lay Y/N down on one of the med’s beds and then ushered the men out of the room, where she then began grabbing various medical things and assessing Y/N’s injuries, instructing Bruce to hook her up to an IV.

Steve and Sam stood outside, not saying a word to each other, both pacing back and forth. They did not have to be silent for long, though, because pounding footsteps soon approached and the men looked up to see a very furious Natasha with Bucky trailing behind her. 

The redhead’s eyes fell onto the closed med doors and huffed, turning back to Steve. “I leave her with you for training one day and she gets hurt?!” She demanded, crossing her arms and glaring at him. 

Steve swallowed. “Nat, I-” He began to say, but was cut off. 

“What happened?” Natasha asked. 

Steve glanced up at her, first irritated when she asked him a question and then interrupted him whilst he was answering, but backed off when he saw the urgency, the nervousness in her eyes; she was scared. Scared that Y/N was really hurt and guilty. 

“We were training. I threw my shield at her, expecting her to catch it or duck . . . But Sam and Buck distracted her and it hit her,” he said, not wanting to throw his friends under the bus but also knowing he had to be truthful.

Natasha stood in place, processing the information. She took a breath, and had almost completely calmed down when Bucky decided to open his mouth.

“Y’know, if anything we tested her. What if someone yelled during a mission? Is she gonna get distracted then?” He mumbled, not really meaning it but wanting to spare him and Sam Natasha’s wrath.

Karma’s a bitch, though, because it did the exact opposite.

If you blinked you’d miss it: Natasha swiftly turned and pushed Bucky against the wall, pinning him there with his hands above his hand.

“Don’t you dare start blaming this on Y/N, you hear me?” She said in a low tone, glaring.

Bucky quickly nodded and Natasha released him. When she did, the door opened and Helen appeared.

“She’ll be okay—” Helen began, and Natasha let out a breath of relief, “—but she does need to be off training for at least a month. She has a concussion, broken ankle, and . . . the shield sort of stabbed her in her stomach.”

It took a couple moments for all four to digest this. Steve paled and Natasha’s crossed arms for tighter as she bit her lip. “Can I see her?” She asked.

“She’s still unconscious, but yes,” Helen answered, nodding.

Natasha almost failed to contain the gasp lurching to leave her throat when she saw Y/N, all bandaged up. The spy gulped and sat down beside her, not knowing what else to do other than sit there, and had no clue what she’d say when Y/N woke up because she sure as hell wasn’t leaving her. Thankfully, Natasha had some time to think it out.

Almost a day later and Natasha hadn’t left — Clint had convinced her to go sleep and eat for a couple hours, but that was it — and now, Y/N woke up.

“Ms. Romanoff?” Y/N murmured in a haze of confusion, squinting her eyes to see her mentor curled up in a chair, reading a big book.

Natasha snapped her head up and immediately sat forward, a smile covering her face. “Y/N! You’re awake? How are you feeling? And how many times have I told you to call me ‘Natasha’?”

Y/N blushed but nodded. “I’m fine, probably the painkillers’ doing though . . . How long was I out?” She said.

“Around a day,” Natasha answered.

“Did you . . . Did you stay here?” Y/N asked again, a little smaller this time, playing with her blanket.

“Most of it, yeah,” Natasha murmured, relaxing into the chair.

“Really? You’re-you’re not mad?” Y/N said, eyes wide and jaw dropped in surprised.

Natasha scrunched her face up. “What? No — of course I’m not mad! You’re like my daughter! How could I be—?”

Natasha was cut off by Y/N’s loud, yet thankful gasp. The teenager sat up and wrapped her arms around Natasha and, after a moment, Natasha smiled and wrapped her arms around her too.

Y/N truly was like her daughter, and mothers were always protective over their children.

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[vee-vee-writes]

Reading time (Alucard x reader)

As the child of a stone mason education had not been high on your father’s priority list for you. However, once hell had been unleashed upon the earth you were thankful for the physical skills you had learned. Your family had been caught up and killed in the first attack on Targoviste. Fearing Dracula's wrath, you had not attended the Archbishop's festival celebrating the death of the dhampir's wife. Instead, you had hidden in the sewers to avoid Dracula's wrath. You had tried to convince your parents to come with you, but your father had foolishly believed the church would protect you all. It had not and soon you were travelling alone on the road, desperately trying to survive.

In your search to replenish your dwindling supplies you had come across Gresit and the Speaker dilemma. You admired their talent for memorizing oral histories but found it foolish that they were willing to risk their own deaths to help those who blamed them for Dracula's wrath. Despite your vocal opinions on their residing in a town that hated them, they had given you a hot meal and a safe place to shelter. You had soon become acquainted with the thirteen Speakers, with Sypha, the elder's granddaughter, telling you legends of a Sleeping Soldier. A mere day later you found yourself foolishly tagging along on her quest to wake him. It was not long into your search that a bright flash of light filled your vision, and the world began to fade to obscurity.

The next thing you knew you were coming to next to Sypha with a strange man standing above you. To your shock he revealed himself as Trevor Belmont, the last male heir of the House of Belmont. You were not sure if it was shock of being in the presence of nobility or the stench of beer and sweat that made you wary of the man. Despite your reservations you allowed him to lead the two of you back to the Speaker's residence.

After the saga with the Church and the villagers trying to burn the Speakers to death as 'penance' for their 'role' in releasing the night creatures upon Wallachia, you had fallen through the ruins into a strange metal and magic world. Trevor was instantly suspicious that the three of you had landed in Dracula's castle, but you were not so convinced. Why on earth would Dracula's lair be under Gresit of all places? Trevor's fears had further been exacerbated when a gorgeous golden-haired man had raised from a coffin in the room you had reached.

You had instantly been taken by the dhampir, though slightly hesitant. You had only ever heard nightmarish myths about dhampir so meeting one in the flesh was as frightening as it was exciting. Your fears had been heightened when the Sleeping Soldier had almost killed Trevor. However, after some brief introductions and planning, the four of you had teamed up to defeat Dracula.

As your quad travelled Wallachia in search of Dracula's castle you had begun to get to know Alucard. He was a surprisingly kind and mellow man, though slightly standoffish. Adrian went out of his way to check on how you were doing and always looked out for you when facing off against night creatures. Your upbringing as the child of a stone mason had left you unprepared for fighting. You were much more skilled when it came to trapping and wildlife knowledge. In the beginning of the journey this had you feeling like a useless burden but as the four of you travelled on, your knowledge proved invaluable. Supplies came and went but your knowledge of edible plants and trapping skills kept your bellies full. The trio were thankful for your skills and knowledge. Evenings spent in front of the fire bonded you all closer, until finally you made it to the Belmont estate.

The Belmont Estate once again left you feeling useless. Your lack of reading ability hindered your usefulness to the mission, though Trevor was not much more helpful. Sypha searched through the records while Adrian mulled around looking for magical objects that may aide them. You made yourself busy cleaning up debris from when the Estate had burned down.

On one occasion as you stood admiring the shelves of books you had put back Alucard spoke from behind you, "I don't mean to be rude, but it seems that you've put the books in the wrong order." His voice startled you, you had not heard him approach from behind. "Oh Alucard, you scared me. I didn't hear you coming" you laughed lightly, "it probably would be a good idea to put them in the order of the catalogue. I would have if I could read." Alucard was unsurprised by your admission, outside of the speakers, church, or nobility there were not many who were taught to read.

"Would you like to learn?" he simply offered as he began to help you rearrange the books. The offer took you off guard. "You wouldn't mind" you questioned quietly. "We can start off slowly with the basics. Do you know the alphabet?" Alucard inquired. His eyes were kind, and you knew that no matter what you answered he would not judge you. "No. Nobody ever taught me" you admitted. Nodding he took in what you had said and began to think about the best way to begin.

"Wait here. I'll go look in the catalogue to see if there is anything simple that we can begin with" Adrian ordered and with that he retreated towards the center of the library. Leaning up against the shelf you rested your head against it, closed your eyes, and took a deep breath. Your hunger to learn to read was finally going to be fed. Footsteps, although light, disrupted your excited thoughts of learning. Alucard had returned with a few books tucked under his arm.

The two of you found a comfortable reading area in a small nook. You bundled up next to Alucard as he began to outline letters and phonics to you. You appreciated his efforts to teach you, nobody had ever done you such a kindness. Alucard flourished as a teacher, he was compassionate and patient whenever you struggled. If you got frustrated, then he would calm you with gentle words of reason. After several days of learning while you waited upon Sypha, your ability to read slowly began to prosper until you were beginning to read simple literature. Adrian was proud of you and openly celebrated every small step that you made. It was reassuring and only fueled your growing feelings for him.

After the hard-fought defeat of Dracula, you had decided to remain behind at the castle with him. Watching the fading outline of Trevor and Sypha's, Adrian broke the silence. "Why didn't you go with them." Bashfully, you began to rub the back of your neck as your brain began to string together your response. "How could I leave you here all on your lonesome. After all you've done for me the least, I could do is keep you company for a bit. I know you'd miss me" you teased, "Besides, I would miss our reading sessions too much." Adrian snorted, but a faint blush crept up his neck and splayed across his cheeks. "Well, we better get back to it then hadn't we."

Taglist: @awkwardspontaneity (ask, message, or comment if you would like to be added to my Castlevania taglist)

[morgana-ren]

it is not a request, but think of yourself calling tomura king and saying if you are worthy of being your queen.🤴👸🤴👸

Awhaaa you’re makin my nasty cold heart all soft here.

I just kinda imagine being a totally unwaveringly loyal member of the league, body and soul devoted to Tomura and his cause. You’re with him through everything, all his victories and defeats and doubts and troubles. There’s a sort of bond that forms when people endure strife together, a strange little twist of fate that keeps you trauma bound, and Shigaraki is no exception.

He’s a brick wall, but he’s still human. He’s going to voice his insecurities and personality pitfalls, even as he tries to frame them as learning experiences that he can grind through for experience to level up. I imagine he’d likely only voice them to those he trusts, much like he does to Kurogiri in the bar when he’s just musing and trying to strategically figure out how to improve. If you’ve stuck around and proven yourself loyal, maybe chiseled yourself a place in that hardened soul of his.

He just kinda talks. Not necessarily to you, but at you. Basically thinks out loud. Most of the time, it’s better to just listen and absorb what he’s saying. Trying to add to the conversation basically derails his thoughts and he doesn’t like that. But sometimes it’s hard not to. When he’s being down on himself after a defeat, it’s hard not to reassure him of his true purpose and express your admiration for him like a lovesick little school girl.

Sometimes you can’t help yourself, you know?

“You’re the king, Tomura-San. Please don’t forget that.”

It’s adorable, in a way, your unshakable admiration for him. It’s what he needs to move forward, to use your enthusiasm as fuel to keep moving forward when anger and rage blinds him and beats as his resolve. Eventually, he comes to rely on it a bit, though he’d never admit it. He knows he has his master and Kurogiri, but you have no ties to him. You’ve anchored yourself to his ship willingly and of your own free will, so clearly he must be doing something right. He didn’t have to manipulate or blackmail. He walked and you followed, simple as that.

The thing about Kings is that they have a Queen. Even in chess, the Queen is the most important piece, the game becomes a fat loss without one. It’s not really an angle he considered, at least not before you.

It could be nice, he thinks, having someone at his side like that. Someone who fights with equal ferocity, equal intensity in his name. When he takes this land, it might be lovely to share in the destruction with someone. Someone he trusts. Someone who has been there from the beginning. Someone who skulks around in his brain in places they shouldn’t even as he vehemently denies that part of himself.

You’d look fitting at his side, a crown of ash upon your head and dust beneath your feet. The only thing deserving of surviving his wrath. Is that what a Queen should be? Someone who followed him to the ends of the Earth and helped him rip it apart? Every game he’s ever played, the King has his Queen, and the air beside him feels so strangely empty.

He’s not one for affection, but he thinks if he was, he would be for you. There’s an undeniable soft spot in his soul where you reside. He’s never considered before, at least not actively. But the more he thinks, the more it plagues his brain.

He can’t offer you safety or stability. He doesn’t care for gold and riches. But he can lay low the world at your feet and watch as you step on it. You can walk hand in hand through the barren lands, reveling in the beauty of your new world. He can’t imagine his dream without you anymore, and that, he thinks, is love.

[upat4amwiththemoon]

As Free As An Avis part 2

Summary: A princess and a commoner falling in love was a scandal on itself, but them both being women just adds fuel to the fire.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Warnings: this story will deal with homophobia and sexism, this story is mostly historically inaccurate

Word count: 3951

a/n: Thank you again for 400 followers! Hopefully you enjoy, feedback is always appreciated :)

“Duke Rogers what a pleasure to have you here!” The Queen’s voice exclaims loudly as she goes to greet the guests, adding onto Y/N’s annoyance. “And Lady Sharon Carter, I’m so glad you two could make it.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” Duke Steve Rogers takes the Queen’s hand and kisses the back of it as he bows. “Thank you for inviting us.”

“Kiss ass.” Y/N mumbles quietly. Not quiet enough though as Wanda elbows her to the ribs, giving the princess a warning look.

“Y/N, come closer, dear.” Y/M/N holds out her hand for Y/N to take, which she takes. She didn’t want to be the target of her mother’s wrath this early in the day. “Why don’t you show Duke Rogers and Lady Sharon around the castle while lunch is getting ready.”

Y/N nods, giving the Rogers-Carter father-daughter duo a friendly smile. She knows her mother wasn’t asking, she was ordering. That’s all she ever did. Do this, do that. “May Miss Wanda come with us? I think she’d benefit from that a lot.”

“Has she not learned the castle yet? It’s been a week.” Her mother whispers, glancing at the maid who is standing by the stairs.

The first week had passed quickly, most of the days going to Y/N showing Wanda around the castle and teaching her everything she needs to know. The tasks, how to address and act in front of people, the castle secrets, et cetera. They have grown quite close during this time, even though Wanda has tries her best to keep a certain distance to the Princess. After Yelena warned her about the Queen, she does more than Y/N would like her to do. Y/N still appreciates the space Wanda gives her, it’s the only time she has for herself.

“The castle is big, mother.” She waves Wanda closer. “Be patient. If you could just follow me into the hallway on your right.” Y/N’s voice is just a little bit too friendly, which the father-daughter duo misses, but her parents and Wanda recognize right away. Wanda hides her smile by looking at the ground, while the King and Queen have clear glares on their faces.

Y/N reluctantly links her arm with Steve’s, who is holding his arm out for her, his other arm filled with Sharon’s. She gives Wanda an annoyed look before showing the way to the grand hall.

“You have a beautiful castle.” Steve comments. His voice is friendly and gentle. Y/N expected nothing more from an old man. She gives him a small smile, but doesn’t answer. “You look very beautiful as well.”

Y/N hums. “Thank you.”

Steve coughs, looking at the details on the walls and the roof. Y/N throws a glance to the Lady and notices a ghost of a smirk on her lips, making her smirk as well. Sharon is a good looking Lady, definitely looks like her father. She’s like a better version of him.

“May I know where the restroom are?” Steve let’s go of Sharon and Y/N’s arms. He sets his hands to the sides and he has a neutral look on his face. He definitely hides his nervousness well. The slight, but constant movement of his legs show it.

“Wanda?” Y/N looks at the servant. Wanda nods and leads Steve out of the hall. She turns to Sharon, who is already staring at her. “Lady Sharon Carter.” She says with a small smiles and nod.

“Princess Y/N Y/L/N.” Sharon isn’t smiling, but she doesn’t look unhappy either. She sees Y/N as her mutual more than someone above her. It makes Y/N feel good. “I don’t want you to marry my father.”

“Oh thank god.” Y/N giggles, throwing her head back in relief. Her mood is instantly lifted. She knows Steve values her daughter’s opinion and wouldn’t want to remarry to someone she didn’t accept. “Then we’re on the same page, I don’t want to marry your father.”

“Good.” Sharon laughs as well, feeling more at ease now. “It’d be weird to have a stepmother the same age as me.”

“Seriously! I hate my parents for suggesting this.” The two laugh again as they fall into steady flow of conversation. They had a lot in common. Both loved nature and loved something different than what is destined to be their future. The only difference being their parents. Y/N’s parents were strict and wanted to hear nothing of her hopes and dreams. Sharon’s father was old fashioned, yes, but he hold his daughter and her well-being higher than any tradition.

“I’m glad to see you two getting along.” Steve walks back into the room with Wanda trailing behind him.

“I don’t want you to marry her.” Sharon’s ability to turn from fun to serious in under a second impresses Y/N. “She isn’t fit for you, she’s immature, a child. Like me.”

Steve cringes at the comparison. He did have worries of her age from the beginning, but he thought it could be overlooked. It couldn’t. “I understand. I’ll go inform your parents, Y/N. It was lovely to meet you.” He gives his arm to Sharon and the two leave.

Y/N falls down to a couch. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. Wanda walks over, sitting down next to her, a little more lady likely. “How are you feeling?”

“Great for now.” She mumbles. “I’m relishing this small feeling of freedom as long as I can.”

“How so?”

The doors bursting open answer Wanda’s question. She stands up quickly and curtsies to the royal parents who are practically running towards them. “What did you do?!”

Y/N takes a one last deep breath, opens her eyes and stands up. She gives her parents a small smile. “Why must you always blame me?”

“Because you’re usually the one to ruin things for us!” Her mother’s voice raises few pitches and her hands fly around. “This marriage would have been perfect for us, for you.”

“For you! For you, for you, for you!” Y/N shouts, her voice cracking. Wanda’s concerned eyes turn to her immediately, not caring about the no looking when not spoken to -rule at the moment. “Everything you do is for you! I don’t benefit from any of this.”

“This all is for you. We’ve built this world for you as my parents built for me.” Her father explains. “Of course, we were hoping to build this for a son, but you’re the second best th-“

“I’m the only thing after a son! It was either a son which would have been the best thing that you never got, or me, the fuck-up.” She stares at her parents, part of her waiting for them to deny what she said. Unfortunately, she’s waiting for nothing. “You know what? I don’t even care anymore. So, why don’t you just...” She picks up a glass ornament and throws it to the ground, instantly breaking out. “...suck it.”

“Okay.” Wanda mumbles, taking Y/N’s hand to her own. “We’ll leave now.” She gives no last glances to the two adults, fearing their reactions too much. Wanda pulls Y/N halfway to her room, until she rips out her hand and starts walking faster. “Y/N.” No answer. “Y/N, please.”

“Take a break, Wanda.”

“No!” The other servants walking around them turn to look at Wanda. “No, Y/N. You need someone right now.” She says in a much lower voice.

“What I need is to be alone.” Y/N opens her door, only to try to slam it closed before Wanda gets inside. Wanda is faster, she slips her foot between the door, shutting her eyes in pain when it slams to her foot. “Why would you do that?”

“Let me inside or I’m getting Yelena.”

Y/N frowns. Yelena has been one of her closest friends in the castle since they were kids, both of them growing up in the castle. Yelena and Natasha’s parents, the two being sisters, were Y/D/N’s servants when he was a child. They fell suddenly ill after having Yelena and died a few years after that. As a condolence gift, Y/D/N’s parents let them live in the castle and get jobs when they grew up. Yelena became a servant, Natasha a knight. Even though Y/N and Yelena were close friends, she is still slightly scared of her. Yelena is one of the only people who dares to argue back and not follow her orders.

Groaning, Y/N opens the door with force. She lays down to her bed as Wanda closes the door gently. “Why don’t you show me your favorite places in town? It’d do you some good to go outside.” Y/N mumbles an argument that Wanda can’t hear through the pillow. “Come on, Y/N.”

“Fine.” Y/N stands up to get her bag. She starts filling the bag with old toys and children’s books from a box under her bed. “You want to see what I do in town? Let’s go then.” After filling the bag to the brim, she marches our the door, Wanda practically running behind her.

Wanda frowns when she sees the door Y/N is knocking on. “Why are we at the orphanage?”

“This is where I spend my time.” Y/N’s whole body language is much more relaxed compared to when they were inside the castle. To Wanda it looks like she’s a completely different person. Someone who actually enjoys her life.

A kind looking woman opens the door. Her smile widens as she sees Y/N. “Come in, come in! The children have waited for you.”

Y/N grabs Wanda’s hand so she wouldn’t get left behind in the winding corridors. Wanda feels herself blushing, luckily it goes unnoticed by the others, or at least no one dares to say anything about it. She laces her hand around Y/N’s better, just to keep up, and Y/N doesn’t let go.

When they reach the correct room, which is a room full of beds, toys and small children, Y/N let’s go of Wanda’s hand to sit down to the ground. “Y/N!” The children who notices them first yells out, making the other kids to notice as well. They all shout things that are hard to decipher from the loudness, but it’s clear they’re excited.

The children hug Y/N in a big pile. Wanda smiles at the sight, they look sweet.

“Y/N! Did you go to the other side of the world yet?”

“Did you go to the moon?”

“Have you done magic?”

“Teacher, can you teach us new languages?”

A new question comes after another one, barely giving Y/N enough time to answer to them all. The questions relate to traveling, nature, animals, magic and teaching. Wanda notices the kids seem to call Y/N different things. Someone calls her by her name and other child uses a job title that Wanda knows for sure Y/N doesn’t have. None of them are using formalities.

Wanda sits down next to Y/N. “Why are they all calling you by different titles?”

“They don’t know that I’m a princess, so they just guess around what I do as my job.” Y/N explains to Wanda quietly, not wanting any of the children to hear.

“Where did the teacher come from?”

“I teach them literacy with some books that I bring around. I’ve also taught some things about nature and basic math, not that I’m good at math.” She laughs. “My parents never wanted me to learn too much.”

Suddenly a little girl jumps into Y/N lap, smiling brightly as she throws her arms around her. Her whole body is shaking with excitement. “I know what your favorite animal is in Latin!”

“Do you now?” Y/N asks, grinning. The little girl’s joy was contagious.

“Avis!”

Y/N claps, making the girl jump up and down in joy. “Good job!” She gives her a big hug before standing up again. “Now, I know I’ve been gone for a while, but I was busy journeying around the world!” The children gasp, their eyes are huge as they stare at her, listening intensely her every word. “To make it up to you, I have come bearing gifts!” The children start cheering, grouping around Y/N to see what she brought for them.

”Children!” One of the orphanage’s workers claps her hands to get their attention. “Settle down and let Y/N show what she has brought to you.” The children calm down enough to sit down to the ground, still buzzing with excitement.

Y/N grins as she dumps the contents to the ground. Multiple books, plushies and wooden toys lay on the ground. “Remember to share!” With that, the children run to the toys and start grabbing them. Some of them going to play to another room, while others stay in the main room to read and play pretend.

“What do we say, children?” A chorus of thank yous comes around the house.

Y/N hugs the woman who opened the door for them. “Thank you.”

“Please, Princess, don’t thank me. Thank you.”

Rolling her eyes, Y/N laughs and backs away from the hug. She takes Wanda’s hand to her own once again, surprising her. Wanda grips the hand tighter and let’s herself to be pulled along the hallways. When stepping outside Y/N pulls up the hood of her cape, hiding herself from the prying eyes. It wasn’t unusual to see two girls holding hands as friends, so Wanda knows not to worry when Y/N doesn’t let go. However, she’s still a little startled when she starts leading Wanda to another part of the town, nearing the market.

“Where are we going?” Wanda finally gets out.

“It’s a surprise.”

They walk the rest of the way in silence. Y/N stops in front of a house in the more expensive area. “Who lives here?” Wanda looks at the house curiously. It’s been built not too long ago and it looks beautiful on the outside. It has big fancy looking windows and it’s made out of stone. It looks expensive.

“Knock.”

Wanda furrows her brows as she turns to look at smiling Y/N. She lifts her hand up to the door and knocks, which makes Y/N let go of her hand and step to the side. The door opens. Wanda gasps, her hands flying up to her mouth. “Mom? Dad?”

”Hi, honey.” Wanda’s mother Iryna and father Olek step outside the house.

“What?” Wanda’s eyes move between her parents, ready to cry any minute. “What are you doing here?”

“We moved here, your brother too, but he’s at work right now.” Olek explains. He gives Y/N a warm smile. “Princess Y/N sent us a letter saying she bought us a house from the town and we could move in right away. We don’t even have to worry about working.”

Wanda turns to Y/N, who is smiling sheepishly. “No need for formalities here, please, call me Y/N.” She moves her gaze to Wanda’s parents, starting to feel overwhelmed under her stare.

”Come on in, dears. You have to take a closer look at the house.” Iryna ushers the two inside, excitedly showing around the big house.

Their old house wasn’t small either, being in the farm and having a four person family it had to be spacious, but it wasn’t as luxurious as this house. Iryna and Olek weren’t even most happy about the size or outlook of the house, the easily accessible clean water and a working heater were the winners. It all makes Y/N sad, knowing how many live in horrible conditions and her parents weren’t trying to fix it. She wants to help people, give everyone a change to a happy life. She wants people to actually live, not just survive.

“Y/N.” She turns to look at Wanda. “Could we talk outside?” Y/N nods.

Before the girls can leave, Iryna takes hold of Y/N’s hands. “Thank you, we truly appreciate everything you’ve done for us. This house, Wanda’s job, everything.” She hugs the Princess tightly. “You’re an angel among the devils.” Iryna lets go of her and goes to hug Wanda. Y/N frowns lightly, but nods nevertheless.

“Come on.” Wanda and Y/N leave the house. This time Y/N let’s Wanda lead the way as she clearly wants to talk in a more secluded place. Leading them into a small alley, Wanda stops walking. “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Get us a house?” Wanda points towards the house as if it was obvious what she is talking about, which it is, Y/N just didn’t want to dive too deep into the matter.

Y/N shrugs. “You said you missed your family and your brother works in the city as well, thought it’d be more convenient for you to live in the city. Besides, my mother would’ve found out eventually that you lied about your residence.”

“You didn’t need to do this.”

“I know.”

Wanda sighs, pulling Y/N into a hug. “Thank you, seriously.” She whispers.

“No need to thank me.” Y/N wraps her arms around Wanda, sinking into her warmth.

“I wanted to sail the seas, maybe be a pirate.” Wanda glances at Y/N with furrowed brows. “My dream as a child. I also wanted to be a medic or a teacher, someone who could save lives.” Y/N holds her book, not reading it, as Wanda and her are sitting in the garden.

“That’s adorable.”

Y/N hums with a small smile, gaze staying on the book. “Those dreams were forced out of me. My only job in life is to be the Queen of the next King.”

“That doesn’t need to be true.” Wanda takes the book out of Y/N’s hands to get her attention. “You are the only one who gets to decide what to do with your life.”

“I wish that were true.” Y/N shakes her head. “But life doesn’t work like that, there’s no creating your destiny, once we’re born our lives are set and we have to follow that path.”

“Do you actually believe that or were you taught to believe that?”

Y/N stays quiet. She believes what her parents taught to her. Didn’t everyone believe their parents’ teachings? That was their job. Sure, she didn’t always agree with her parents. She didn’t want to get married or follow most of the traditions her parents wanted her to. But in the end her parents were the ones to decide her faith. She doesn’t have any other choice.

“You know you’re allowed to have your own opinions, right?”

“Oh, I’m a very opinionated person to my parents dismay if you haven’t noticed.” Y/N grins playfully as she turns to look at Wanda.

Wanda rolls her eyes, laughing. “Yes, I have heard your fights, but that’s not what I mean. You fight every day with your parents how you don’t want to be a queen, but still you do everything they ask you to.”

“Because they’re my parents.”

“For someone so smart, you’re so oblivious to the real world.” Wanda sighs. She takes Y/N’s hand between her own. “You don’t follow anyone blindly, not even your parents. I chose my own path by coming here while my parents wished for me to stay at the farm and marry to a rich family. I didn’t want that, luckily they understood.”

“I think you just have an unrealistically supporting and open minded family.”

“I do.” Wanda smiles fondly. “I think you should do whatever you want, it’s your future after all. Stand up for yourself.”

“That’s easier said than done.” Y/N mumbles, pulling her hand away from Wanda’s when one of the servants walk past them. One of her mother’s servants. A spy. “I do appreciate you for trying, hope you know that.” She gives Wanda a smile.

Wanda bites her lip. “Do you bring toys to the children in secret?” Y/N nods. “What if you did more in secret? Funded stuff with an alias.”

Y/N thinks for a moment, pulling the skin around her nails. “I could do that. I bought your house in Natasha’s name.” The more Y/N goes through the idea the bigger her eyes widen and her face lights up with excitement. “That’s actually a brilliant idea! I’ll create a male alias and start helping people.”

Wanda claps with a big smile. “See! You can follow your dreams.”

”Guess so.” Y/N hums with a small smile. “Thank you, Wanda.”

“Don’t thank me. You’re the one doing the good.” Their eyes stay on each others just a little too long. Too short for anyone else to notice, but long enough for Wanda to feel her stomach flipping around.

The next morning goes smoothly. Wanda and Y/N decide which tasks each of them do in the latter’s room. Y/N takes off the dirty sheets and Wanda puts on the clean ones. Y/N decides what to wear and dresses herself, only letting Wanda help with the laces. That smoothness of course doesn’t stay for long in the castle.

“We’re holding a ball in a month!” Y/M/N claps excitedly. She loves everything that has to do with music, dancing and socializing, especially when she gets to be the host. The Y/L/N balls are known to be the most extravagant and The Queen is adamant on keeping it that way. “We’ll invite many suitable suitors for you.”

And there’s the catch. A possible marriage opportunity for Y/N. She sighs loudly, but her mother ignores this, too lost in her bliss. “Who are you inviting.”

“Everyone!” Her mother turns to Wanda. “You are free to invite your family over.” With that she leaves, no doubt going straight to the steward to discuss how much the ball will cost.

Y/N turns to look at Wanda, who has a small smile on her face. She has never been in any kind of party. Even her and Pietro’s birthdays were just small gatherings with the family. Now she gets an opportunity to dress pretty and drink champagne with hundreds if not thousands of people.

“Daydreaming about meeting your future husband at the ball?” Y/N giggles teasingly, bumping her shoulders to Wanda’s so she would get back to the present.

Wanda sends her a small smile. “I don’t think that’s my priority right now, just excited about the ball, I’ve never been to one.”

Y/N’s face lights up. “Then we better make it the best one!” She takes hold of Wanda’s hand and starts leading her away from the common room. “We need to buy you a pretty dress and shoes. Someone in the castle can do your hair and you can borrow my jewelry.”

“I’m sure I can use some of mine.”

“Nonsense! I’ll buy a pretty girl pretty clothes.” Y/N throws Wanda a grin over her shoulder, making Wanda flush. She quickly shakes her head to stop the feelings growing in her. “Besides, this’ll make my time more fun as well.”

“I’m flattered.”

Y/N laughs. Her laugh is loud, real. It makes Wanda smile. It makes her feel like laughing. So she does. She starts laughing with her, making the two laugh loudly together. The other servants glance at them, but the two don’t care. They’re in their own world.