#to be clear this is a true story and I lose my shit over it constantly. she’s sixty and works in a fucking café

[23sibylcake23]

[spacerockfloater]

Why the fuck does Laena Velaryon, who is canonically younger than Rhaenyra Targaryen in the show, look like a fucking 20-year-old in episode 5 while Rhaenyra, her elder, still looks fucking 13? Why the actual fuck did they change the YOUNGER girl’s actress and made her look older, but it’s okay for Rhaenyra to continue looking like a preteen? I’ll tell you why.

They’re trying to distract us from the fact that creepy ass Daemon is courting a 14-year-old. A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD. Rhaenyra is 15 in episode 1 and Laena is 12, meaning they have a 3 year age gap. Then, Viserys tells Rhaenyra that she must marry since she’s 17 now, making Laena 14, maybe 15 at best. So they obviously can’t afford having Daemon thirst over a child again, therefore this is a shitty attempt to cover up the fact that Laena still is a very fucking young child.

HBO what is this? Why do your casting choices indicate that you’re trying to use some kind of ageist technique to manipulate your viewers? Why are the supposedly good guys, Rhaenyra and her children, portrayed by very young actors? Is this to show how innocent and pure they are? Why are the characters who are supposedly evil, Aegon and Aemond, or the character for whom we shouldn’t worry too much about since she’s just a tool for Daemon’s story line to develop, Laena, portrayed by obviously older actors even though they’re all supposed to be kids? Because the youth = good people and old = bad people analogy is fucking gross and lowkey paedophilic. Not to mention how weird it is to make all the black girls in the show look like fucking grown ups. What kind of racist bullshit is this?

I can’t understand HBO’s decisionmaking for the love of me. Like, on the one hand, it’s so obvious that they’re forcing Daemon and Rhaenyra down our throats, to the point that I actually laughed out loud when the show runner said “he doesn’t get why people like Daemon”. Like, my guy, you MADE the show. You made him look like an appealing, dangerous, sexy, strong, victorious and mysterious man, so what do you mean you don’t get the appeal? On the other hand though, most of the actions that they allow Daemon to perform are so horrifying that it makes it impossible for a sane person to stand beside him and defend him. Like, they try to sugarcoat that he’s an abusive piece of shit yeah, but they somehow don’t shy away from the fact that he’s terrible? Are they doing both of these things on purpose? Are they trying to challenge the viewer, to show us how abusers, despite being openly deranged, still have their way of dazzling their victims, the average person, and hypnotising them with their charm? Is Daemon doing to us (and by us I mean you Daemon stans, not me, stay safe though) what he’s doing to Rhaenyra and Laena? Are the show producers testing the average viewer’s intelligence and ability to recognise an abuser? Will there be a lesson to be learned?

I would like to hope so but I highly doubt it, because while one could support this theory by arguing that changing Laena’s actress is an attempt to mask Daemon’s degenerative nature a bit so that it isn’t completely obvious that he’s a bad man, someone else could counter this argument by saying that we’ve already seen Daemon groom a minor so this wouldn’t be something new. We’ve seen him do much more violent crimes actually, so why shy away from the fact he’s a groomer when we are already aware of this? Idk man, I really want to think that HBO is trying to make us see that Daemon is an evil person, but then indirectly glorifying him constantly makes me believe they just want people to root for him.

P.S. I may anger a lot of people by saying this, so I’ll make myself clear by stating that I love and greatly respect actors who specialise in portraying evil characters, because doing so and not losing yourself is a challenge (*cough* Leto *cough*) but if done correctly, it’s a true showcase of one’s talent and hard work. Lee, De Niro, Hopkins, Bardem and Rickman are just a few to name. However, Matt Smith has never rubbed me the right way. No hate to the guy, I don’t even know him, but I’ve seen him play the villain in three separate occasions (HOTD, Last Night in Soho, Morbius) and I just get these weird vibes, but I usually told myself it’s just my imagination running wild. However, I recently found out that Smith claimed that Daemon is a loyal man who loves deeply and that his “heir for a day” brothel feast was his way of honouring Aema, which really disturbed me for obvious reasons. I don’t know if he said this because he’s trying to defend his character and by extension himself, or if he just wants to promote the show, or if he doesn’t understand Daemon or if he funnily enough has fallen victim to his own character’s charm and I don’t care because it is a dangerous thing to say. Painting this character, the arrogant, obnoxious, self serving, people slaughtering, wife murdering, backstabbing, abusing, grooming, lying, manipulating, war criminal of a man, in such a positive light while being a man yourself, knowing that most of this character’s supporters are young impressionable women who just find him hot, makes me lowkey wanna cover my drink in his presence, I don’t know.

[ganondoodle]

so guess what they released more interviews and i think given what a writing shitshow totk was and what they have been saying in all these interviews is actually painting a really bad picture; i dont have the time, nor the energy to go over every detail

but they were commenting on people wanting the more linear format back and aonuma himself basically said that he thinks people who feel like that do so only bc of nostalgia and "Why do you want to go back to a type of game where you're more limited or more restricted in the types of things or ways you can play?"

what .. the fuck, more freedom DOESNT automatically mean better??? like ... restriction can be a GOOD thing just as tooo much freedom can be BAD?? like in totk??? are you fukcing shitting me- what the hell are games even for then, has he had an awakening to the fact that he actually just loves sandbox games without realizing it???? im not playing fucking zelda for a sandbox, especially not when its advertised as a somethign else

its pretty clear that they want to keep this format going with everything they say there, ... maybe it really is over huh

also i hate how they kept talking around answering anything about story/lore; they go asked how ganondorf even connects to ganon since theres nothign about it in game, and all they got out was welllll we dont wanna say anything bc its up to the player; about every question you got the answer of "make somethign up yourself" which is just ... its really clear they dont actually care but dont want to say everything is meaningless actually, so they try to be vague about it and with doing that really just confirm they didnt think about it and they dont care- so no lore actually matters, nothing thats been said or established has any meaning bc they will get rid of it the second it crosses paths with their new -more freedom equals better- philosophy, they say its bc they want you to be "free" to think up anything but apparently dont realize that when there are no rules, no consistent lore or anything that it ROBS it, it stops having meaning, its fun to connect dots only when there are rules you need to work with and dots to connect in the first place, when you have an established world with its restrictions it drives you to think more creatively about things- but when there are no rules?? its fucking boring!! thats what it is!!

when you discard all rules i wont care to get invested into anything bc i know it will not be considered again, be done away with without any reason and wont have influence on coming or previous games ... bc there are no rules, anything is possible and everything can be changed any second, so nothing matters

(they also talked about the many viral videos of those very few dedicated people that make godzilla mechs in totk and how happy they are about that- i get that to some extent, but the way they kept talkign about it really just felt like it confirmed my suspicion that that whole mechanic was mainly implemented to let people do that since that gets shared around en masse making it seem like that is why people enjoy it while neither the game nor the narrative are build around it in any way ..)

it just makes all the time i spend thinking, feeling and theorizing about zelda like a true waste of time, bc nothing matters and there are no rules-

i am someone who greatly enjoys working with and around established lore/rules, its fun to me to recontextulize things by being smart or creative with it all without breaking anything or as little as possible of the established things!

if i wanted to do just do anything i want I COULD HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT bc theres nothing actually stopping anyone to just make up what they want! i DONT need canon to lose all rules for that??!!

maybe ill have to make myself believe the franchise ended with botw on a good note ... ono

[famouscyclenerd]

My fake interview with an imaginary e/riel

A huge reason as to why I doubt the possibility of e/riel, is because they don't really seem to have a clear indication as to what will happen in their book and the rest of the series, beyond the romance aspect. They really haven't gotten that far with their planning... ;)

So I decided to put what I've gathered from some of their logic in interview format.

*Keep in mind, this is just for shits and giggles. I'm not saying that this is completely accurate*

How will the romance go?

"Elain and Lucien will talk, they both realize that they don't want each other and they reject the bond. Elain and Azriel are together and in love, they will have a forbidden romance. Elain will become a spy and she is friends with Nuala and Cerridwen. Elain uses truth-teller to server the bond with Lucien. Elain and Azriel are likely true mates"

So Elain and Lucien will reject the mating bond, but she and Azriel are also mates?

"Yes."

How will they have a forbidden love story?

"Because Rhys said no"

But Rhys is not the enemy, I'm sure he would want them to be happy, as would Feyre, right?

"They will serve forbidden love and hide it from their family"

That sounds like incest, honestly.

"😲"

What of Mor?

"...."

That's exactly what Az said as well, haha! What about Graysen?

"She is already over him as she is in love with Azriel"

Sure. And Gwyn?

"It doesn't matter, she is just a side character in Nesta's story"

Could Emerie and Mor get a book/novella?

"Absolutely!"

But not Az and Gwyn?

"No, it doesn't make sense. And Sarah says her books are about women"

Is Gwyn not a woman?

"😠"

But we saw more of her in SF than Elain, right?

"Doesn't matter. Did you not read how determined Az was to save Elain in acowar. He didn't hesitate🥰"

He saved Gwyn too, and *reads from book* "slaughtered all of them within moments. He didn't hesitate"

"😡"

Sorry... What about Koschei?

"Oh yeah! Um.. Elain and Az will defeat him! That was hinted at in SF!"

Okay, what about Lucien, Jurian and Vassa? Aren't they tied to it?

"They'll be there too. Lucien and Vassa will fall in love"

Right! But what about Jurian?

"Lord of flame and firebird makes sense to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

Lucien is the son of Helion, though. I always considered Eris to fit lord of flame more, don't you?

"No. Lucien and Vassa are lord of flame and firebird while e/riel are death and his lovely fawn, kinda like Hades and Persephone"

Isn't that Feyre and Rhysand?

"... death and light, I mean"

But that's Lidia and Ruhn, right?

"Whatever"

Fair enough! Could you share your thoughts as to why Gwyn was in Az' bonus chapter?

"To indicate that she is evil or to hint at powers she's not yet aware she has."

Why though? If her arc is seemingly over and she's just there to be Nesta's friend?

"¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

Nice! *checks notes* What about the illyrian conflict?

"What conflict?"

... *checks notes again* Is there nothing more to do with these characters other than to defeat Koschei?

"And the power of choice! Elain is the girl who never got to choose and Azriel is the boy who never got chosen! Love will trump even a mating bond!"

But Az and Elain are actually mates, correct?

"...Depends on who you ask"

So Elain choosing Lucien is not a choice?

"No. It is a wrong choice"

But it is a choice?

"... No. And they aren't interested in each other"

How come?

"Lucien doesn't even try to get to know her, and Elain loses her boldness around him!"

He does bring her gifts though..

"So what!?! She didn't like the gloves!"

Not the pearl earrings either?

"She'll likely never use them"

Just like she won't wear the necklace from Az either?

"😤"

Sorry, sorry... But he also looks at her with longing, correct?

"That is just because of the bond!"

So they are mates?

"Maybe, maybe not"

You said Elain could become a spy. How do you think that will tie in with the plot?

"I'm not sure, that is Sarah's job after all"

So what will happen in acotar 5 & 6?

"Acotar 5 is Elain's arc where she finally gets a choice as she never has been able to voice her opinion. Acotar6 is about Lucien and Vassa defeating Koschei and falling in love"

With Elain and Azriel?

"Right! The article soft-launched e/riel for us :D"

What about when sjm talked about Elain and Lucien as a couple?

"Irrelevant because of the times article >:("

Lovely! Can't wait!

[rayisemo]

Webtoon comics I think are underrated.

Now, I just want to make it clear that when I say “underrated” I don’t mean as if it isn’t heard of or been read, just that it’s underrated in the sense that nobody talks about it, makes posts about it, fanfics, fan arts, etc.

…and if you haven’t read these then I highly recommend you do!!! It’s so worth it, trust! I’ll add in a little review too!

1. DEATH: Rescheduled (Thriller)

The story in short is about a world where you have the Kill Law, a law where you are legally allowed to kill one person a year, no consequences. However the “Penny” Kreyul and his friends disagree with the Kill Law and are going to put an end to it no matter what.

Death: rescheduled had me so captivated that I refused to sleep before I finished reading. I even spent money on this shit because it was so entrancing! My favourite episode was by far 66, it was so funny and it builds up ships and just pure wholesomeness of the group.

The characters all have great personalities, the story is amazing and omg the art is so beautiful. You’ll love it.

2. Sable Curse (Fantasy)

This story follows a young girl named Tarron, a girl who is cursed and will die in 6 months. Her (honestly abusive) parents decide to take her and her sister to a holiday retreat. There she ends up finding new friends, herself, potential love, and maybe even a cure for her curse. But as it turns out, she’s not the only one cursed either.

This story is amazing! The art is wonderful, the characters are perfect, some we hate, some we love. We learn throughout the story more about this curse, and even about this special holiday retreat. There is so much mystery to uncover and it is one of my favourite webcomics.

Now, I’ve heard that most people have actually read it, but I encourage that we make a proper fandom for this series!

3. Marionetta (Fantasy)

Two best friends decide to go out and visit the travelling circus. However after a while Julia’s best friend Kamille disappears. Julia is determined to find her again and hunts down the circus, where her best friend is now living. Julia is still going to bring her home and end up losing something very valuable. Her life. For this circus is for the dead. Now Julia has to uncover the true secrets behind the circus whilst still trying to bring her and Kamille home. Will she manage? Or will she have to kill Anthonn Gremminger to save her life?

When I tell you this webcomic is a roller coaster of emotions. There are plenty of ships to chase, characters to stan, and many theories to explore. I love this webcomic so bloody much and I was actually surprised that there wasn’t a lot posted about it.

This is such a cool and dark story, with lovely and cute art. I could talk about it for hours.

4. After School Activities For Unripe Apples (Drama)

A wholesome slow burn between Mi-ae and an old childhood friend, Cheol. When another year starts and Mi-ae needs to take school more seriously the son of the family friends shows up in her class, but now seen as Lucifer, a hostile boy who ends fights - but is that the boy Mi-ae remembers? Who she know knows and loves?

This is a cute, funny and entertaining webcomic. You would think that things would be so simple, however due to school, parents, and other issues the characters face of themselves and others, it is difficult to understand and accept your own feelings. This is exactly why I love this series so much, it’s relatable and adorable. We especially love Mi-ae.

There are a few fanfics out there, but honestly where is the love it deserves??

5. My universe (Romance)

Apart from the normal college life Hayeon lives, she has this special gift.. she can communicate with the universe. She ends up communicating with an alien, who she gives the name Ujun. They want to be able to actually meet each other, but alas that is nearly impossible. But imagine the surprise when Ujun ends up taking over the body of one of Hayeons classmates, and crush, Hyeonsu. Now they must figure out a way to send him back whilst still spending some time together. However the peacefulness and secrets can’t be kept as the aliens are taking over. What will Hayeon do now? And can she even trust Ujun anymore?

Now this story deserves its own universe fr. The art is super cute as is the story, however things get more complicated as the story progresses. When I was still reading this the first thing I would do in the morning is read the next episode as soon as I got the daily pass because it was so good! Obviously I’m not going to spoil the ending, however the waves of emotions this series brings you is inhuman.

All in all it’s a fantastic webcomic that deserves so much love and attention!

6. Stray Souls (Fantasy)

In a world of magic and string weaving, some are fortunate and some are not. Eylin isn’t particularly good at string weaving, however that doesn’t stop her and her friends from stopping the wicked and doomed Amethyst King. Follow along the difficulty journey with friendship, love, and a whole lot of mystery. But what is it all worth in the end?

Holy moly this story is AMAZING. The plot is genius and the art is fantastic, the characters are so original and all have such amazing personalities!! Although, it’s a bit hard to keep track of them all😭 still love them all.

All in all it’s so amazing and has so much potential to be incredibly popular, yet there is no fandom!? Give it attention!!

Now! So far this are all the webcomics that come to mind! I think all of these are great and I just know that so many more will enjoy these if they gave them a chance.

I’d love to talk about these with other people, and I’d even love it if others would like to share some webcomics they believe are underrated too.

All of these comics are from Webtoon, and are so worth your time! Please let me know if there was anything I missed.

(I might add more in the future 😉)

Edit: sadly the pictures are now a little awkward and too big for my liking… but I hit the limit of 10 pictures 😔🙏

💗- Anyways lots of love!

[atlasshrugd]

My thoughts on Bridgerton Season 3 Part 1 (Spoilers)

Hi guys! I have reached astounding levels of brainrot over this season (having rewatched Polin scenes until I am blue in the face) so here I am going to air my thoughts out in probably an incoherent manner. Thank you!

Off the bat:

. Amazing, stunning, beautiful chemistry. Nicola and Luke are really the fucking MVPs. Their chemistry is undeniable to the point where I NEED MORE. It kind of seems like they didn't have enough scenes together, but maybe it just felt that way because of all the other plotlines going on.

. Speaking of plotlines, I am sorry to say that I found all of them unnecessary and dull. I just wanted more Polin, I couldn't stand the Featherington drama, Mondrich drama, Queen drama, or even Bridgerton drama. Francesa's story was probably the most significant, but I felt it was still very dull!

. However, that won't turn me off from loving this season because I have been waiting EONS for Polin to get together! Someone needs to sedate me!

. LET'S TALK ABOUT COLIN "MANWHORE" BRIDGERTON. I have to say that while I was with everyone else when the news broke and hated the idea, I honestly did not mind it. I found it a good and impactful way to show the difference between meaningless sex vs actual intimacy and love. I liked that Colin was exploring himself and thinking he had to be more "manly" like society dictates, but that his genuine and deep connection with Pen (literally his only real friend aside from his siblings) made that pale in comparison. I LOVED how he was trying to get it off at the brothel but couldn't even GET IT UP when having a threesome. That made me laugh! I was like DAMN girl Penelope you did a number on this man. He is Colin "17 cities" Bridgerton yet ONE kiss from a virgin is enough to turn his world upside down and make him question everything he knows???? Hmmm yeah more of that please.

. Oh, carriage scene. If I loved you less I might be able to talk about you more. I can only say that I've broken my rewind button. It’s got CRACK in it. COLIN'S FACE when he realizes that THIS is the woman I will devote myself to for the rest of my life. He is done with his gallivanting ways and wants to literally just be with one woman for the rest of his life. I feel like without his promiscuous ways and bravado in the earlier episodes, this realisation would not hit as hard. It's no longer just the puppy love that he had with Marina, or the vacant lust he had with other women on his travels, but a true, real, meaningful connection that makes him LOSE HIS MIND. I like that that distinction is VERY clear and leaves no room for doubt that he is CHOOSING her.

. I love that he is “experienced” and that she isn't, but she’s able to bring him to his knees with one kiss! That dynamic is always tea, I fear! Also, I LOVE that my girl Penelope is able to get her needs met by someone who KNOWS what he’s doing. I don’t know what people are saying by “they have no chemistry.” To me, they have chemistry falling out of their ass!

. That being said, I am so scared about the LW reveal!! Holy shit, they are engaged and she still hasn't told him!! Which is different in the books. But LW is different in the show + the Marina thing didn't happen in the books. However, I love that they made LW less scathing in this season. She actually compliments all the debutantes and is really more of a reporter over a tabloid (except for that little thing she wrote about Colin, lol! But she was right!). I feel like Colin's hatred for LW is a little overstated. LW saved him from being trapped in a loveless marriage full of lies. I am shaking to see how this goes! Bring on the angst!

. I actually surprisingly liked the Cressida and Eloise friendship, I liked how it became a vehicle to show another side to Eloise, a more tolerant, compassionate, and realistic side. I loved Eloise and Pen's relationship this season. While they are fighting, they still love and try to protect each other. It's really the secondary love story of the season. We love to see it. I just hope Eloise doesn't fuck with her too much in part 2! (Btw, hate that this season is split into two parts! How am I going to wait until June 13th??? Tf???)

. Also, am I the only one thinking that they are building to Cressida having feelings for Eloise? Their connection and Cressida's sincerity towards Eloise is a little too real. I feel like by going into her stifling home life, they are inching towards that. Also, I am guessing that Cressida will end up marrying Debling, who will be gone so much and won't put any demands on her, so it will more be a marriage of practicality that allows Cressida to explore her feelings. We shall see!

. LET ME JUST SAY I SCREAMED when Penelope put her hand in Colin's hair. I remember in an interview Nicola saying that it was her idea to do that. THANK THE HEAVENS FOR THIS WOMAN !!!!! Because that was actually the hottest part of the season, there I said it. I CHEERED!! And if that was improvised by them, then that means that LUKE'S SLUTTY FACE was also his design!! I cannot thank these two enough for their service to this country!! Also, give Nicola an Oscar right now. I have never seen a more realistic sex scene and depiction of female desire tbh (oh god the moans). Especially in Bridgerton. This was the most real and sincere sex scene they've had yet. Take all the awards!

. LET'S TALK ABOUT COLIN'S FEELINGS. I've seen some people say that the season felt off (which I understand, I think it's bc of all the unnecessary plotlines) because Colin's feelings developed too fast. Let me just say that I DO NOT AGREE. I thought this was an entirely natural and logical progression of events. Think about it. We are not watching a "friends to lovers" arc from scratch. They have had TWO SEASONS of the "friend" part. We have had to watch ignorance, rejection, obliviousness, and misunderstanding between these two. Finally, in their own season, all that groundwork (laid over multiple years) has the chance to come off. It's like a spark that finally lights the embers. Their love has been smouldering under the surface for so long and all it takes is a match (their kiss) to make it spark into flame. Colin has felt so deeply for Penelope for a long time, and indeed they are best friends. He has always admired her as a woman and friend and felt comfortable with her. It wasn't until he kissed her that he realised those feelings were much more layered than he supposed. The fact that he dreams about her and that kiss, and ends up growing regretful and jealous of helping Pen attract other men, is absolutely right. The fact that he tries to get over her by going back to brothels but it DOESN'T WORK is absolutely genius! His love and desire for her, and thereby the realization of his feelings for her, is what propels him to look into himself and find that what he has been trying to be has been a lie. It's in that scene where he's with all the other Rakes. He considers himself, at heart, to be a gentleman - unlike the rest of them, and unlike what he's been presenting. He realizes that all the escapades he had only afforded him vacant experiences. He knows the difference between shallow and real connection now. This is when he decides to stop being someone he's not and embrace himself finally, just as he embraces his feelings for Pen! It's a great moment for his character development. I will be the one to say that by the realization of his feelings for Pen, he comes to the realization of himself.

. ONE MORE THING. I have seen some viewers complain about Penelope being the one to "beg" Colin to kiss her. I think these are more new fans who don't know the books, but I am TIRED of seeing this. The fact that Penelope is finally voicing her desires to the object of her desire after never speaking her mind or asking for what she wants, IS empowering! She is finally taking control of her own destiny! Unabashedly asking for what she wants! Being truthful with herself and brave enough to voice it! That is my GIRL. I was so proud of her. It was at that moment Colin knew that he was fucked (look at his face after he decides to do it). MM HM. That is good shit. I don't see her "begging" for it to be degrading. This was a beautiful moment between two close friends who trust each other more than anything. And that was the match that sparked all those repressed and ignored feelings!

. ALSO, I do not understand why people wanted Penelope to fall on her face after the carriage! WTF? Sure, in the books it’s fine, but actually seeing it??? Do they realise how humiliating and painful that would be? I’m so glad they didn’t do that in the show (and I hope it doesn’t happen in the next part). She is TINY, and do you see that huge ass gap between the carriage and the ground? If she fell, she would scrape her whole hands and face and it would be bloody. Why do people want Pen to suffer in humiliation even more?? It would not be funny.

. ACTUAL LAST THING: I actually LOVED Colin’s dream confession to Penelope, maybe as much as the carriage confession! “I’ve not been able to sleep, to eat, to speak…these days. My entire thoughts consumed by our kiss, by you.” I just loved Luke’s delivery of these lines. Btw, that dream was horny af! 

. So, in this way, I don't really understand the complaints about Colin or Polin in this season. I thought it was very well done and well acted. The only complaint is that I needed MORE. MOREEEEE

Anyway, that's all I can think of for now. I'm afraid I have nothing to say about the other storylines because I was resisting the urge to skip them the whole time. My heart lies with Polin and that's what I am focusing on. Thank you for reading!

[ilkkawhat]

[a snippet of a fic in progress from my tags on this gifset]

There’s a part of him that knows he’s still trapped in that room in the depths of the ocean. His escape is just another fantasy he’s desperately playing out, hoping the dream doesn’t turn into another crumpled nightmare he rips out of the carriage and tosses into the never-empty garbage can in his writer’s room. 

There’s the other part of him that’s happy to indulge in the reality that sits in front of him; an old friend transformed into an almost unrecognizable fair-framed man with now baggy clothes that reminds him of their college days in the nineties. Some things never change, and for Barry Wheeler he’ll always have his outlandish shirts, even tucked into baggy cargo shorts. He’ll always have the faith and confidence in Alan that Alan doesn’t have in himself. He’ll always have an ear to listen, a hand to pat his back, a mouth to make Alan’s crack a smile, eyes to keep him in check. 

And perhaps it’s the fact that it’s just too good to be true, that he’s sitting on a couch, drinking beers with his long-lost friend, that makes him worry he never got out. He convinced himself very early on that Barry was a darling he’d have to kill to survive, so the idea of him being here still confuses him, both making him constantly reach a hand to grip his friend, make sure he’s real, but also treading carefully, afraid that the man will just snap and vanish like the shadows on the streets. 

“So, these old coots, you should have seen them, Al. They’d get up on stage and I’d argue it was more of a magic act than a concert! It’s like they would lose fifty years, their voices became so…youthful, and I swear to you the effects team they got claim it wasn’t them, but their singing seems to match the projection of those younger selves that they sound like!”

Alan laughs, more to himself than to Barry at the thought, less at the absurdity and more at the reality of their powers. 

“Funny, that’s how they were in my musical.”

“Your…what? You know what, quid pro quo it’s your turn to tell me a story from the past thirteen years and this is it, baby.” 

“I’m not drunk enough to tell you,” Alan whines, waving his half-empty beer bottle. 

“Nah, nah, nah, you’re not getting out of this one that easily. I can just call them up myself you know, maybe those Old Gods remember the time they got zapped into another dimension to play to the whims of a crazy missing’s writer’s words—I gotta write that down, that’s a good idea.”

Alan coughs, at first thinking nothing of it. He clears his throat, takes another swig of his drink. He’s had this cough on and off ever since he returned, figuring it was just a symptom of his body being in a lake for thirteen years.

“Well, since you’re not in a sharing mood and I am, oh brother, you’re gonna love this one, I got involved in this cult called the ‘Bless—’”

Alan sneezes into another cough.

“—you…” Barry interrupts himself. “You alright there, buddy?”

“Yuh-yeah,” Alan beats a fist against his chest. “Got some frog in my throat or something.”

He pleads for the carbonated waterfall to wash whatever it is away, and his stomach seems to threaten impaling Alan’s throat on something to stop the third beer bottle from diving into it. 

He coughs again, an effort his body doesn’t have enough power to give. He heaves over, coughing harder and harder because there is something in his throat and he needs to get it out. 

“Al?” Barry puts a hand on Alan’s back and Alan pushes into it like backing himself against a wall, still coughing and trying to both reign himself in but still…get it out. 

Barry presses a hand to his chest, which triggers another lurch and this time, something wet and sticky comes out of Alan’s mouth and into the palm of his hand.

It’s not blood.

Unless the blood in his body was black.

“Wha-cough-tuh-coughcough-fuck is-cough-that?” Alan continues to cough and Barry is immediately calling the ambulance. 

“Fuck if I know!” Barry cries out. “Shit shit shit shit! This is worse than that time I dragged your sorry ass outta the club while you were OD’ing on some shit you got into. You're worse than a goddamn toddler sometimes, Al—Hi, yes, my best friend is-is having…I don’t know what but we need an ambulance now!” 

Alan remembers the incident Barry’s referring to, not one of his finest moments. Fighting with Alice, ignoring Barry, putting substances in his body because he didn’t want to be himself. Alcohol, cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, tobacco…he’s done it all. 

“I don’t know! All we’ve done is had some beers!” Barry continues to berate the poor operator on the other end of the line because the ambulance hasn’t come fast enough.

It’s not alcohol poisoning, he thinks to himself as the blacknees begins to spread in the palm of his hand. His eyes cross and start to roll up. He feels lightheaded and shaky, but sinks heavily into the couch like a stone. 

“Stay with me, Al,” Barry reminds him, and Alan falls back in exhaustion. 

Barry bailed him out both physically and mentally from the last overdose. Maybe he can save him from whatever this is. 

Barry presses his hand to Alan’s throat, taking his pulse but he seems to fumble over the math when he tells the phone operator that “he’s fucking breathing, okay?” 

Alan’s arm feels melted into the cushion beneath him but he wants to hold Barry’s hand, hold on to something as he feels himself fading faster and faster away into oblivion. The lights in the room are dimming. He sees a shadow growing larger, approaching closer. Edges illuminated like the echoes he would see as inspiration. Shitty time for an idea but he’ll hear it out, maybe it has a clue to what is going on…

Unable to move closer, he holds his hand up to the shadow, and his fingers brush up against something solid, but viscous. It grips onto him, draining all of the color out of his body. He tries to pull his hand back but slimy tendrils spread and form a copy of himself right before his eyes.

“Ew gnoleb rehtegot, nalA…” 

It sounded backwards, wrong, but it sounded familiar. Scratch. Coming back to haunt him. He may have left The Dark Place but The Dark Place never left him. 

“Alan!” Barry’s voice cut through the darkness, his thick form of light inflating and bursting through the black goo-Scratch. He’s not sure if it’s real but he feels a splatter of goo on his face. 

He’s dimly reminded of his thick friend dressed in an oversized parka wrapped in Christmas lights, burning away the Taken in front of him and saving Alan’s life. The blurry thin man in front of him now is almost unrecognizable, unarmed, unprepared for this. 

“Barry…” Alan groans. “Don’t…don’t leave…” 

“I got you, Al, I got you,” Barry comforts him, the phone falling out of his hands and cupping Alan’s cheeks. “Help is coming.”

There are so many people helping you, armies of people. 

There’s no army strong enough to come close to the power of Scratch. And there was no ending in sight he could write to escape it. 

His final thoughts before passing out, pangs of guilt tugging at every pore in his body because he was taking Barry down with him into the darkness.

[according2thelore]

holy SHIT that excerpt was so good!!!!!! the elliott ness / hitler bit was hilarious. omg everything i ever could have dreamed and more…. inherent characteristic of dean of all ages is that he is a little shit, and also that he will kill himself for sam.

i also love that baby sam describes grownup sam as barely holding it together. i feel like hearing that would break older dean’s heart but older sam would really just take it as, like, yeah. a little bit true.

do you ever think of them interacting w other characters in this au? cas dropping by, or crowley or rowena or someone calling, lol. if this is set in an elongated season 11, lucifer would be horrific. or… hmm. I feel like claire would be funny, little dean tries to hit on her and she’s just absolutely disgusted.

omg omg omg anon i am kissing you kissing you kissing you kissing you thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!

and haha, thank you! it's so fun to see dean freak out in the moment about meeting his idols (dr. sexy, elliot ness) that i can only imagine how ES!Dean would react to the info that he would actually get to meet them one day! ES!Dean would lose his SHIT if he found out s1e1 that picking up sam from college would allow him to hit on daphne from scooby doo. could you fucking imagine??

LS!Dean would stare angstily into the distance about the "barely holding it together" comment but LS!Sam would say something equivalent to: "ha! yeah. fair enough."

in my idea of how this universe works, i think they would text all their friends a very clear do not come over!! leave us alone until we say it's okay!! we are safe!! personal business!! and everyone thinks they're having a crazy sex weekend, so they definitely do not want to come over. i think once we start adding more characters, this thing gets messy bc how the fuck are we going to explain to ES!Sam&Dean who JUST found out that vampires are real that their best friend is an angel and he also possessed his vessel's daughter claire, that's why she's here and also a hunter and also a child, say hi claire! huh? oh yeah this isn't cas's body, this is a guy named jimmy. no we don't think he's still in there. anyway. he was god for a bit but not anymore and hm? how? oh he ate a bunch of souls. because the king of hell told him to. no not the devil, the king of hell. who's the devil? well. funny story--

but hypothetically i can get down! i love the way your brain works!!! i think it's super fun to imagine all the characters interacting with these squeaky-toy versions of sam and dean who are even more insular and weird as the seasons go on. ES!Sam&Dean are so earnest! and excited! hypothetically speaking, i think it would go like this:

i have been harboring a secret little headcanon that sam and dean's souls look similar, since they're soulmates. to humans, they all just look like balls of light, but for angels or demons...

it makes me think about if cas pops by, he almost...doesn't notice? at first? it depends on the season, but if he's a full-graced angel, he sees the soul first, not the "vessel."

so he pops into the bunker, like "hello, dean. your soul is bright today. can i meet you and sam in the library?" and pops back out. and ES!Sam and LS!Dean are stood there, blinking. and LS!Dean is like. "well. fuck."

and when they all assemble in the war room, castiel looks back and forth between the four of them. for a minute and half of pure silence. "did you have kids?"

"identical kids?" LS!Sam asks, incredulous. "like spores?"

and castiel says "one second." and squints even harder and says. "oh. i see. there are four of you. why did you do that?"

and of course, LS!Sam&Dean are all, "did we do it? we thought someone--on your...ah. team. did this."

and ES!Dean's says, "who's this asshole? oh shit. is he blind? my bad."

"this is our best friend. castiel." LS!Dean says, trying not to laugh. "he has a...religious family."

"is this the friend that tried to be god?" ES!Dean asks, skeptically, and LS!Dean hits LS!Sam on the back of the head, hard.

"it's not my fault! he has big eyes!" LS!Sam says by way of explanation, like that means anything to anyone besides ES!Sam.

"it's very true." castiel agrees solemnly, and both sams trade a look about which thing cas is responding to.

ES!Dean and cas would get along like a house on fire, which is to say...the winchesters don't have a great track record with those. but ES!Sam and cas?? oh boy. best friend alert. if it slips that cas is an angel, ES!Sam is big-eyed, heart-thumping, breathless excited, which none of the other 3/4 are too jazzed about. cas is quite pleased. he preens like a peacock.

"why yes. my true form would melt your eyeballs, samuel." and ES!Sam is almost bouncing up and down in glee. cas never calls sam samuel, but he thinks it adds a biblical affect that ES!Sam clearly appreciates.

they have tea together.

read: sam spills boiling water over his hand while trying to make them tea and cas takes a great deal of satisfaction in healing it. by holding his hand.

read: LS!Dean kicks open the imaginary door of the kitchen like OKAY. THAT'S ENOUGH. HE'S A CHILD. DROP THE BABY.

~~~

crowley texts LS!Dean an ASMR video of someone reading threatening reddit comments (what fucked-up psychological warfare tactic is this??) and when ES!Dean sees the notification, he asks,

"who is the contact with the little devil picture and the...is that an egglant?"

"how did he change his name in my fucking phone? pizza hut. no one. what phone?" LS!Dean throws it across the room because he knows that without a shadow of a fucking doubt that crowley would unhinge his jaw and swallow ES!Sam&Dean whole if he got the chance. or at least desperately try to convince them into a threesome. 

there's no risk of that, but dean is NOT going to explain the 'king of hell' business, so he leaves it be.

~~~

maybe jody (that introduction actually goes smashingly) would bring claire around one day, and, yeah anon, you're right. ES!Dean is a limpet. he's pulling out all the stops. he leans seductively against the table in the war room. he winks a lot. he breaks eye contact coquettishly. claire is stuck between finding it amusing and being horrifically disgusted. she audibly gags when dean smolders.

claire starts to say, "you do know i'm--"

and ES!Dean cuts her off with a shit-eating grin, "if you're about to say your age, don't. i like plausible deniability."

and claire nods for a second before suddenly reaching out, grabbing him, and flipping him over her shoulder. she breaks a chair with his flying body. no one helps him up.

if anything, this makes her hotter, and ES!Dean sees LS!Sam get genuinely angry at him for the first time when he says so.

"back off, dean. i'm serious."

and ES!Dean gets so immediately, blindingly hard that he has to go sulk in his room for a minute or thirty or risk showing the exact shape of his dick to the room at large.

"yes sir. sammy. what the fuck? i'm gonna--" runs into the wall. "i've gotta. fuck. no-- i mean. hahahahahahahahah---" *fading into the distance as dean waddles awkwardly away*

~~~

(and hypothetically speaking, lucifer would be a fucking horror show. LS!Sam is literally covering ES!Sam with his body because didn't he get to ruin sam long enough? you don't get me any earlier. you can't touch him, i won't let you fucking touch him. ES!Dean can tell something is Not Good Bad Wrong Fucked and the sheer depth of terror, of trauma, scares the fucking shit out of him. he looks desperately to LS!Dean like a child looking at their father, can you fix this, how do we fix this? and no one has any answers. lucifer is obsessed. it's a nightmare.)

~~~

anyway, lol! i hope you liked! this one was super fun to think about! dean is always kind of a skeeze, but early seasons especially so lol. i think a lot of people would have a field day w that! and ES!Sam is so earnest and trusting!

thank you again for this ask anon! i always love hearing which part of fics/these posts are folks favourites! kissing you!

have a great day! :)

-lizzy

[snapscube]

hihihi ok. so i’m in my last of us fixation mode and i’m being extra silly about it but i NEED to know what’s ur current opinion on the last of us hbo?? also i logged onto tumblr and saw a lot of rly good points defending joel’s final choice and i remember during the last of us pt1 playthrough u had differing opinions so i wonder if u think the show’s differences affect that at all? btw i LOVE ur stuff and cannot wait until u do last of us pt 2 wehehehehe!!! anyway besides all that i just want u to know that u are one of the things in my life that makes it easier to get up in the morning

I still feel exactly the same about the final events as I always have! The show didn't change it for me, and actually being able to remove myself from being in control of the situation in the game and actually just watch the events play out in show format solidified that further. The connection I have to Joel as a player when I play the game really helps me understand his perspective more and stomach the goal a bit more easily, but without that immediate intimacy it puts into perspective for me how kinda monstrous the whole thing is from every angle. Obviously I don't ever lose that sympathy for him, and I never stop understanding why, because the whole point of the conflict is that no one is in the right. Ultimately I think the damning thing for every single person involved is that they removed Ellie's agency from the equation, and I still stand by that. They all should have talked to her. They should have told her the truth. All she wants is for her immunity to matter, and I believe that they may have been surprised at the lengths she's willing to go in order to make a difference, whether it's ultimately the right call or not.

I don't know what arguments you've seen exactly in defense of Joel's choice, but personally I don't really agree with one I see a lot and I'd expect will pop up again now that the show is over, which is the whole "well who's to say a vaccine would have worked anyway?????" angle. I think, while reasonable from a meta standpoint, completely ignores the intended framing of the story in order to more conveniently justify a protagonist that the story through its entire runtime is trying to tell you is a little bit of a piece of shit. It's pretty clear and safe to assume that the ultimate intent here is that... yes, the vaccine WOULD have worked. Maybe not in the sweeping way they hoped, but Ellie's sacrifice absolutely would have done something. The whole moral dilemma of the situation really does not make any sense unless you give them that as fact imo.

So then, assuming that is true, you have to wrestle with the idea that Joel is willing to take down the entirety of humanity for Ellie. And not really for Ellie, because none of this is what Ellie wanted. The game AND the show QUITE LITERALLY SPELL OUT for us that Ellie really really really does not want to go back to Jackson without finishing what they started, regardless of the cost. Joel's reasons for saving Ellie, while understandable, are ultimately selfish and rooted in his own trauma and having just seen the light at the end of his grieving over Sarah. Again, incredibly sympathetic, but it's selfish. I know we like to joke as much, but Ellie IS NOT his daughter. They share a similar bond after everything they go through, but by the end of the game you can already feel Ellie pulling away from that notion because she's starting to realize Joel doesn't have the same commitment to the idea of her immunity being meaningful as she does, they're only a few miles away and he's already asking her to give up and go back to Jackson with him.

Then, of course, I think what ultimately damns Joel in my eyes on a poetic/storytelling level is his decision to lie to Ellie after it's all over. That's the nail in the coffin for me. It would be one thing if he said "they were going to kill you on that operating table without even telling you what was going on and I couldn't let them do that", but instead he lies to her to make sure she's still able to see him as the father he desperately wants to be again. It doesn't change anything. He tells her her worst fear has come to pass: her immunity, this unexplainable thing that has taken so many of her loved ones from her, is completely useless. Not only that, but now even more people are dead. Including Marlene, who's known her since birth. The only thing his lie changes is the fact that he's responsible for it all.

Anyway, part of what I love most about The Last of Us Part II is how it follows up on these threads and you may be pleased to know that I actually just started streaming the game last night after the HBO finale premiered cause I was so pumped up I couldn't wait any longer haha. So you'll be seeing VODs for that soon :)

[lutawolf]

"Stay by My Side" Ep 1-4

It's a college rival to love story. You have Bu Xia who is brought up by his grandfather and older sister, both are spiritual mediums. But that isn't the life that Bu Xia wants, after his grandfathers passing, that changes due to a mishap. He can suddenly hear ghosts. The only time he has peace is when he is with his rival Jiang Chi, the boy he kissed to win an arm wrestling contest. To cover for all the touchy feeling, Bu Xia declares to Jiang Chi that he is special to him. Unprepared to reveal that he is being 100% truthful.

I had low expectations at the start of the episode. Maybe because it felt so cliché? I mean, we have the usual, bad boy meets group of sports kids and the one true love accidentally trips. The romantic fall troupe showcased exactly what this pairing was going to be like. The characters quickly grow on you though.

Jiang Chi to me at least, comes off as a confident gay that doesn't need to tell everyone he is gay. He can find you attractive and simultaneously be annoyed by you. Which is clear in his first meeting with Bu Xia. He is giving eyes and snarling at the same time. He then finds out he is rooming with him and the disgust begins. To be fair, he has reason to be, honestly, Bu Xia reminds me of my daughter. Super sweet, friendly, playful, cuddly, needy, clumsy, clueless, unsure and messy. While Jiang Chi is the absolute opposite of all that.

Yet, in all the fighting, Jiang Chi doesn't walk away. He easily could, and you see that is typically what he does with everyone else, but not Bu Xia. And Bu Xia for his part is so stupid as to why he is following Jiang Chi around and teasing him. Homeboy is telling himself it's to know his enemy and so on but give him have a chance to throw his mack down, and he is doing it without thought. Then freezing when he realizes what he has done. Homebody is clueless to himself and it's adorable. How could Jiang Chi not be charmed, even as he initially tries to hide it.

Side note, pay some attention to side characters because they are always giggling and taking pictures of the two.

Episode two is for sure, having Jiang Chi questioning himself. For the first time, he is sliding into a land of being completely unsure of himself. And Bu Xia cluelessly unaware of the havoc he is reeking while at the same time making comments like "You taste delicious." The boy is stupid and I love him.

The thing to understand about Bu Xia is that while he can be annoying in his playfulness, but he is extremely kind and caring. So while he pushes Jiang Chi to help him with his report, he also makes sure to send him a thank-you. He knowingly operates around Jiang Chi's schedule as to not disturb him. He'll happily annoy Jiang Chi for his attention, he doesn't really want to cause him issues.

Halfway through episode two is when the mishap happens and Bu Xia begins hearing ghosts. Boy is afraid and losing his shit, which causes him to run straight into the arms of Jiang Chi. Leaving Jiang Chi baffled and charmed. Boy is really being effected now, and I'm here for it.

Jiang Chi gives me the impression that he still doesn't know what to make of Bu Xia's affections. It's clear that he isn't used to being this close to anyone and maybe doesn't have experience and is floundering.

Episode 3 shows a clear thawing of ice. To the point that those around them are taking notice as well as taking pictures.

"He's actually quite cute when he's not being sarcastic."

When pictures are hung in the common area of them both. Bu Xia takes the opportunity to say that Jiang Chi is his special person. It comes off as both a gag and confession. Especially with the way he hugs and runs off afterward.

I found it refreshing that Jiang Chi chased after him to get clarification. He didn't get it, but I found it refreshing that he tried to get communication. Over the course of episode 3, Jiang Chi begins to understand that his boy is shy. Once this realization is made, Jiang Chi is clearly all in.

There is a scene that I wish I could find a gif set for. But Jiang Chi runs into a girl that know Bu Xia and he decides to ask some questions.

Jiang Chi "I have a friend who is always being harassed in some varies ways. He finds reasons to be around him, often stares at him, and even touches him intentionally and unintentionally."

Girl "Didn't your friend fight him?" As in, did he tell him to stop or no. Smack him.

Jiang Chi seems to reflect and shakes his head no.

Girl "Then it's not harassment. It should be considered flirting." So, basically telling them that both of their asses are flirting.

I was giddy the rest of the fucking episode. It was cute how Bu Xia was so rattled but unable to run away. The way Bu Xia talks, you can tell he isn't just there to silence the ghosts. "I find it very comfortable being with you." He's just so clueless about himself. But Jiang Chi, ugh, Jiang Chi is now subtly chasing his confused boy.

Which is what epside 4 is all about. Jiang Chi chasing his confused boy, it was so fucking adorable! Ahhhhhh!

It was sweet like cotton candy. All the feels. All the flipping feels, I tell you.

I'm so fucking excited for episode 5 guys. Just go watch, so I have other people to scream with! 💜💜💜

All gif credits go to @bl-bam-beyond and @ellsieee

[jitterbugjive]

I hate that people can easily find the stupid and shitty things I said and did over 5 years ago and jump to the conclusion that that's who I am, and there's no easy way for anyone to see all the efforts I've been making since then to NOT be that person. It's hard to find all my apologies and explanations because I didn't tag them all properly. I've tried time and time again to explain that I was mimicking the behavior bad adults gave me when I was growing up and that no one really called me out on that behavior until it was too late. I've tried to explain that since then I've been going through extensive therapy to separate bad learned behavior from who I want to actually be. There's so much more to this whole story than what one small chunk of the internet is making it out to be. People who actually know me know that this has been eating me up constantly and that I am always living in fear of losing everything to this drama.

especially since some of that info takes quotes out of context, jumps to conclusions that aren't true, or flat out lies about what certain artworks are depicting or meaning to convey (Like claiming a grown ass adult is a child even tho I have proof the character looks totally different as an adult than as a child, or claiming that a shock piece meant to make people reel back in horror was a fetish when it was not at all that)

It takes clips of things without the full picture and puts words in my mouth.

Here's a little something about how I used to talk about sore subjects: I would make a controversial sounding statement, but then I would explain myself in a way that would show the statement wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. A lot of the time they just take that bad statement and paste it for the world to see, without giving any of that context of me explaining why I said that and why it's not what it sounds like.

I wish people were smart enough to spot cherry picking when they see it, but they just aren't. They'll see one sentence, and someone saying "look they're supporting this bad thing" and that's all they need to think that's what it is. People aren't smart enough to really ask questions and try to understand a situation, all they want is face value to tell them how to think and feel.

People aren't going to bother to listen to me because I'm "the bad guy" and I'll "say anything to cover my ass".

Listen, if I was really that horrible of a person, don't you think there would be more evidence out there that is very clear and blunt and not just making assumptions on what a thing means?

I'm never gonna sit here and say what I said and did wasn't wrong, it was, but it was not done because I was trying to be a terrible person or prey on anyone. It was because I was insanely misguided by someone who groomed me for 5 years since childhood and then abused me for another 3 in a really toxic relationship. And then I never got HELP for it, I never got therapy to cope with it, I never even realized until way later that 'holy shit this person was 7 years older than me and was taking advantage of me the whole time'. Like I knew they were abusive but adults being friends with children was so normalized in my head, and throughout my life many adults or older kids exposed me to things I shouldn't have been and it skewed in my head what was appropriate behavior or not. Or what was okay to draw or not. And a lot of my opinions were formed around this adult who convinced me things like loli/shota were fine as long as they were strictly made up, and he fed me a lot of nonsense about what does and doesn't make a predator to cover his own ass. I was seriously fucked up almost beyond repair for a long time.

I have a warning on my blog now that minors shouldn't be following me, I make it a point to not ever work with minors on projects or talk to a minor in any capacity beyond a fan to artist relationship. I understand now that it is my responsibility as a NSFW artist that I simply cannot have minors as friends. And being much older now I don't even want minors as friends anyway. When I was in my early 20s the age gap didn't feel as bad but I'm definitely feeling it now and I just don't want to deal with minors any more.

I'm not a danger to anyone, I'm not spewing apologetics for horrible people, I've been doing my best to be a much better and more informed person

And I have no easy way to prove any of it in a way that will matter

I'm only talking about this now because once again I was kicked out of something because someone found that old info and that was all it took. No one cares about my side of things.

And I don't know if this will ever go away

I don't know if I'll ever find any amount of comfortable success because I can't get rid of this shit and on the internet it doesn't matter how long ago you did something or how much you've changed, you did it and therefor you're bad forever.

I hate this shit so much.

[cherryrainn]

can u write greedler angst where the reader tries to change him but he chooses money over the reader and doesn’t realize till it’s too late??? way too specific but i don’t see enough onceler/greedler angst 😓😓

chances by the strokes kinda fits this

thank you!! i love your writing sm 🫶🏼

I LOVE ANGST IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS AND THANK YOU SM

☽ ༚  ༵ ۰ ✧ ۰  ༵ ༚ ༵ ۰ ✧ ۰ 

— chances

onceler (greedler) x reader

song link; click here

the once-charming onceler had transformed into a cold-hearted businessman, obsessed with wealth and power. you couldn't bear to see him lose himself to greed, so you made it your mission to change him, to remind him of the kind-hearted person he used to be.

you dedicated countless hours and poured your heart into your efforts, hoping to break through the walls he had built around himself. you shared stories of compassion and selflessness, trying to rekindle the spark of empathy within him. but despite your best intentions, it seemed as if the more you tried, the deeper he delved into his obsession.

you believed that your love could conquer his greed, that he would eventually realize what truly mattered. but as time went on, it became clear that your presence had little effect on him. he grew distant, consumed by his pursuit of wealth, and you found yourself fading into the background of his life.

one fateful evening, you finally confronted him, your voice tinged with desperation. "onceler, please listen to me. this isn't who you are. there's more to life than money. don't you see how it's tearing us apart?"

he glanced at you, his eyes clouded with indifference. "money is power, darling. it's what i've always needed. i can't let anything, including you, stand in the way of that."

his words struck you like a knife, the pain slicing through your heart. you had hoped for a breakthrough, for a glimpse of the man you had fallen in love with, but instead, you faced the brutal reality of his priorities.

tears welled up in your eyes as you stepped back, your voice shaking. "i can't believe you would choose money over us, over our love. i thought you were better than this."

he watched you with an empty gaze, unmoved by your anguish. "love won't put food on the table, won't secure my future. money will. and i won't let sentimentality stand in the way."

unable to bear the weight of his indifference any longer, you turned away, the pain of his rejection tearing through you. "i thought i could change you," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "but it looks like i cant compete with your... shit..."

days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. the void left by his absence weighed heavily on your heart. you rebuilt your life, mending the pieces of your shattered soul, but the pain still lingered.

then, one day, you received news—a rumor that onceler had finally achieved unimaginable wealth, his empire expanding beyond measure. the world celebrated his success, but you couldn't help but feel a bitter ache within your chest.

it was in that moment, as you reflected on the choices he had made, that you realized the true cost of his greed. he had sacrificed the love and connection that once brought him joy, traded it for a hollow existence of material wealth. and though it was too late for him to realize his mistake, you found solace in knowing that you had fought for what truly mattered—the depth of human connection and the power of love.

months passed, and you had moved on, building a life filled with genuine connections and the warmth of love. you had found happiness, though the scars from your time with onceler still lingered.

then, one unexpected day, a familiar figure stood before you. onceler, his once-charismatic smile now worn and weary, looked at you with regretful eyes. the months of pursuing money had taken their toll, leaving him with an empty heart.

"i was blind," he said, his voice laced with remorse. "blinded by my own desires, too blind to see the value of what i had with you. i was wrong, and i lost everything."

you regarded him silently, emotions stirring within you—pain, forgiveness, and a glimmer of hope. "i tried to make you see," you said softly. "but you chose a path that led you away..."

he nodded, his gaze dropping to the ground. "i understand now, though it's too late. i let go of the most precious thing in my life."

the weight of his words hung heavy in the air. you couldn't deny the lingering affection you held for him, the memories that had once brought you joy. but wounds take time to heal, and trust needs to be earned.

"i hope you find the peace you're searching for," you said, your voice filled with a bittersweet tenderness. "but i've moved on, onceler. i've found my own happiness, one that doesn't rely on wealth and possessions."

as you turned away, walking towards the life you had rebuilt, you couldn't help but wonder if he would ever truly understand the magnitude of his choices, the depth of the love he had forsaken. and as you left him behind, you vowed to cherish the lessons learned.

[yuurivoice]

Just wanted to say that even though I do avoid exploring any tags related to me, I do absolutely recognize and appreciate a ton of you who regularly post awesome art, headcanons, and memes.

A lot of that is thanks to people sharing those fun, awesome things! Reblogs where I end up seeing them on mutuals blogs and stuff helps, so share and gas each other up!

There are people in this community that have been here for years, who have seen this entire corner of the internet shift and grow for better or worse. The OGs who have been around before I ever made this blog know how far the community has come, how much it's stayed the same, and how much it has changed. And I've grown along with it. My aspirations and hopes and creativity has evolved so much from just doing silly little posts as an anime twink to having a full blown web series.

Despite that growth, I am still just a guy trying to tell his stories and make some voices while doing it. I have a small team around me, and without them this would be even more difficult than it already is. We're not corporate, we're independent artists and freelancers and creatives just trying to do cool stuff, and are lucky enough that something worked.

I've failed so much over the course of my life. You see the results of things, and for the most part are incredibly kind and supportive. Thousands upon thousands have appreciated my work in one way or another, and that's a dream come true for me. I never bothered wanting anything more in my life than to share stories with people. I didn't have a bucket list, or many aspirations. I was at a dead end and ready to just give up. That mentality and the time spent going in circles did a lot of damage over time.

But you found me, whether it was 6 years ago or a week ago, and whatever support and vibes you've sent my way have mattered. I won't ever lose sight of that.

I wanted to say that because I know I am not as ingrained into my own community as an active participant and that may make me seem distant, or stuck up, or something. It's not for any sort of disdain or lack of appreciation though, it's just me, and trying to keep my head clear.

You don't get an instruction manual when you're suddenly a niche internet micro celebrity. They don't tell you about scrolling through fan art at 3am and then seeing the nastiest, most mean spirited, bad faith takes about your work you've ever seen. Shit is weird, man. And it's not for me, because I give way too much of a shit about my art, and that's a flaw. My skin has gotten thicker over the years, but what happens on days when your mental health is in the shitter? Weeks where I've been fighting my demons and losing can't afford me the grace to step on a weird internet landmine brought on by the symptoms of being a creative trying and failing and succeeding all at once in a world where everyone on the internet has an opinion they want to shout into the void.

And people can do that! It's my responsibility to look after myself and set those boundaries for my own comfort, not anyone's fault for just doing their thing on the internet, ya know? Once you put yourself out there, you have to accept that people are gonna people. Same irl, shit, I've been a fat kid my whole life, I'm certainly no stranger to people being obscenely rude for no reason other than they like the sound of their own voice.

I just wanted y'all to know that even though we're well beyond the "little internet family" vibes that some creators foster, I'm not up in some ivory tower (ha, said the thing) looking down like a curmudgeon. I am rooting especially hard for all the fellow creatives out there on their own journeys, wanting to share their passion and dreams with the world as well. I want you to win, and succeed, and find fulfillment with whatever drives you to make things.

Guess I was in my feelings a little bit and just wanted to say that I do see many of you and am thankful you've allowed me to play some kind of role in entertaining, comforting, or inspiring you. That means the world to me.

[celestialholz]

Welcome to Art (7).

Thank you for meeting me here today, friends, for our special extra credit class, 'The Art of Gay Lore'! Now, if you'll all follow me to the art room...

Now, Professor Hassel may or may not know we're here, so everyone keep this on the down-low k? It's a weekend, we'll be fine... everyone participating today will be wired some totally legitimate LP in thanks, which... well, maybe don't mention that to Professor Hassel either? He does work for the League after all...

Anyway, I'm Professor Mini Holz, and today's special class is on the topic of the classroom itself! Now, would anyone like to hazard a guess as to why this classroom is particularly important on our journey into deeper homosexual lore?

A) Art is especially gay in Paldea

B) There's some interesting shit going on here

C) Everything Hassel does and is connects to his own homosexual love story and general softness

Correct, random guy at the back there! That's right folks, there's no true answer, because the answer is yes. (Though you can have extra extra credit for C, you've clearly read my metas.)

Now, let's start over on the left, shall we? Your eyeballs are mine, caught in my meta web...

We start with several colour charts, which is fairly standard for an art room.

What's fun here is that this is the RGB colour wheel, which is not used really in art theory, but more to determine how colour is viewed in digital mediums. If you mix blue and yellow paint, you get green, not cyan. Likewise, the triple diagram beside it is for printing colours - cyan, magenta, and yellow. It's also the exact colour scheme of one of The Harvests in Artazon.

... Now, imagine a world where colour is used on a digital platform to create alternate meanings to those in standard colour theory, such as, oh I don't know, POKEMON TYPES. And then, imagine a scenario where a local and well-known artist does exactly that in his sculptures. What a wild world that would be, right? Insane...

Also, these are rainbow colours. Professor Hassel has two rainbow posters in his classroom. Let's carry on, it's too early in the class to lose my mind...

And as we move to the centre of our classroom, I need you to all just stand back for a second. That's right, against that wall over there...

The seats, guys. Those seats we sit on for every class are Grass, Dragon and Electric-coloured, much like that one Harvest that symbolises the unity between Professor Hassel, gym leader Brassius, and an Arboliva.

If you look closely and count, friends, you'll see that there's also six of each of them if we count the two Electric ones off to the left, which is how many olives orbit The Harvest. Fascinating isn't it, that there's such a clear reference to the harmony of Professor Hassel and his husband in the middle of our classroom, specifically where we're meant to relax? Almost as though he finds deep comfort in his marriage...

It's not the only thing evocative of those types in this room, though. If you turn to your right for me, and check out that curious little piece in the corner...

Mmm. A very familiar colour palette, I think we can all agree. Thank you to my colleague @spiritofstars for showing me this - she's already taken extra credit. This appears to be a kabocha, a certain type of squash, which a little research explains nicely:

... Well. Now, who could we possibly know who has been 'deathly ill', and who Professor Hassel might wish to see safely through the winter? Ah yes, that's right - Brassius, that same one who told us that very thing in Art (4). This is reinforced by the presence of blue cineraria flowers beneath the painting, which as my other colleague @someguynamededdie pointed out in its recent flower meta, mean something super cute:

You see how the Dragon blue is the background colour, the 'protector' of the kabocha? We live in a society, and that society is so gay dear Arceus. My dear little bro also notes that orange poppies, the flowers next to the blue cinerarias, symbolise health and regeneration, so...

So, what does all of that together mean?

A) Professor Hassel is a goddamn sap

B) Professor Hassel is soft and protective and he makes me want to sob

C) Professor Hassel is completely enamoured with his windmill-jumping husband

Mmm, yes, correct! It's any and all of them, thank you for listening. We have this concept of 'protector' also summed up nicely in the top right corner of the room:

Here we find a Jigglypuff - a Fairy type, something Professor Hassel's Pokemon are weak to. And in the middle, we find a mannequin - a model, directly in front of a piece about a man being haunted by his past - look very closely, and you'll see the ghost in the distant window, looming over the more confident man at the forefront. And it's beside the Grass-type seats. But you'll note the Dragon-type coloured lamp on the same desk.

Here, we see a man who could be weakened, who could allow himself to fall victim to the ghosts of his past, the family he ran from - but because of the Grass, because of his own light, he doesn't. He stays here, and teaches us, and loves his husband.

Perhaps Professor Hassel isn't the only protective one, and perhaps Brassius isn't the only one who finds hope and salvation in his love. It's very interesting, isn't it class?

And Brassius, despite being a very prominent figure in the narrative of this room, isn't the only person being referenced here. If we move to the centre of the room, we of course find this:

There's a whole narrative here about 'flying free' - if we look at Professor's Jacq's Pokedex entry for Staraptor, we see that:

That's exactly what Professor Hassel did, left his family because they were terrible! It's crazy, really, because as a protector, he must also be very sturdy! Trust me, I've defeated him in the Elite Test - he calls himself 'the dragon guarding the final fortess', and he means it. We also see Brassius fly free - quite literally as he jumps off windmills, but he's been freed from his own awful past, too... by Professor Hassel.

And who must a Staraptor remind us of? Well, gym leader Larry of course, Professor Hassel's friend and fellow Elite Four member... much like those poppies over there, which bring to mind our good little Steel-type sister in Arceus, Poppy. In fact, I think she might well be responsible for some of these drawings...

Note the Phanpy, there, which could represent Rika as a little Ground-type cutie. But what's fascinating about this wall is the selection of Pokemon here.

Gyrados is a big, scary Water type which people often confuse for a dragon... Ditto can be anything, but adapts to its surroundings, always keeping its own stats intact... Eevee can one be one of eight different Pokemon one day, and its evolution is a joint decision between trainer and Pokemon... Cacnea is a small, cheerful, spikey Grass-type, which reminds me an awful lot of a certain gym leader, and Dedenne - well, Dedenne doesn't evolve, and yet we have a larger, rounder one, and a littler, happier one.

... Huh. They're all relevant, aren't they? Dragons being confused by their own paths; Eevee, its own fate undecided as a youngster; Ditto, who shows us that however much we change, we're still the same within; our pair of Dedennes, representing size and shape and happiness, and a little Grass guy who looks like Brassius, all smiles and victory - he even has a little crown!

... Wow. Even I wasn't expecting to discover this much! I hope you're taking notes... now, I don't know if Poppy did draw these lovely pictures, but there's one here that show a pair of Rookidee, and she has a Corviknight. I reckon that if nothing else, she definitely is responsible for this one, and that's adorable. The one on the right even looks unimpressed, which might have had something to do with it worrying about the future of that Tinkatink she also used to have...

But I'd like to leave you today, class, with a final painting, this one right here in fact, with the colourful squares.

Now, this is right next to the colour charts we looked at earlier, but - well, when someone has no colour, all they are is white. And from nothing grows identity - Grass, Electric, Fire, Steel, Water, Dragon, if we follow the colours of types. And so we have Brassius - from a small boy who doesn't yet know himself, to a Grass-type trainer, to one bursting with the creative sparks of Electric and the passion of Fire, to one who must 'steel' himself against the hardships of life... through Water-y tears, and to Dragon. And if we do a little more research into squares...

... Well, class. Isn't that enlightening. A journey to trust and stability, showcased in art. You could even view it the other way around - if this is about Professor Hassel, he starts as a Dragon, and he dissolves into tears... he 'steels' himself to live alone, away from a family who doesn't understand him... he embraces passion in Fire, makes music and art... until he finds his 'spark' in teaching, in the Elite Four, through the Grass-type trainer. And white, of course, is not just absence - white is what happens when all the colours blend together.

Well, I do hope you've enjoyed extra credit! Expect that LP as soon as I can get hold of Pen - wait, Sir?

How long have you been standing here? Have you been here the whole time? What do you mean I ignored you because I was too obsessed with lore?!

Look, I can explain - guys, book it!

[undisputed-queer-a]

The Better Than You Bay Bay story is something special.

I'm worried that my specific sentiment may be cliched but despite these worries, I'm going to talk about masculinity in wrestling.

You see I have often heard the sentiment that wrestling portrays a exaggerated version of masculinity designed to capture the minds of a predominantly male fanbase. And this is for the most part true. The Hulkamania Era was about a statuesque American hero using his giant physique to expel foreigners and Randy Savage. The Attitude Era was about a beer swigging, ass kicking, badass beating the shit out of his asshole boss and those who associated him (I know it's a bit of a simplification). And throughout the years Wrestling has been a masculine thing where masculine men put their masculinity on the line to prove who was best. This isn't me admonishing wrestling, by the way, I love it and have loved it for years and it's ties to masculine ideals aren't a detriment. But it does make it cool when Wrestling stories or character challenge traditional expectations of masculinity and expressions of a male gender identity.

Now sometimes I don't know if these moments are great or that they are so rare that all appear to better than they are. For example during the early days of Cody Rhodes' 2023 feud with Brock Lesner he stated that he was scared of Brock Lesner, that anyone would be and that he was scared but he had to persevere and fight. This was cool, Brock Lesner is f*cking scary and in admitting this Cody presents (in my eyes) as a more real and relatable human person rather than what many other wrestlers present as, some almighty warriors with no fear. Which, to be clear, is fine but it's nice to see other things.

Better Than You Bay Bay is definitely great. And I appreciate Cole and MJF have done concerning masculinity. In one of their first segments as a team they went to the gym acting like toxic gym bros, max made fun of a man for being overweight and while Cole told him it was wrong he transitioned it into a dig at Tony Schiavone. In a following one Max saw some women at a bar and tried to convince Adam to stop being all lame and loyal to his girlfriend and 'bang some chicks' with him to which Cole refused. Next they had a heart-to-heart over a video game with Max opening up and Cole offering support.

Then at the World Tag Title match on Collision MJF puts himself in harm's way to save his friend ultimately costing them the tag titles because he wanted to keep Cole safe. After the match MJF breaks down and is emotionally distraught. Cole does all he can to console Max but Max feels like a failure and like he has let down the one person who, not only he cares about. But the one person who cares about him. And he nearly betrays Adam right here retreating into the scumbag persona that people expect, attacking Cole killing their friendship like it never mattered. But it does matter. It matters to the fans, to Adam Cole and it matters to MJF. So he can't bring himself to betray his friend because he cares too much about Adam Cole, because he loves Adam Cole.

The following Dynamite Max talks candidly about his disability, his mental health and his relationship with Adam Cole. The two share the ring again and Adam takes the time to compliment Max's recent growth marvelling at "the man [he] has become". The two hug to end the segment.

I don't feel I need to spend that much longer explaining this. It's nice that Cole called out Max for being a little sh*t, it's lovely that MJF was open and vulnerable, it's beautiful that the two hugged imploding because MJF caused them to lose, it's beautiful that Adam talked about the man Max is becoming and this story as a whole is special.

In conclusion, this was...um...idk a blog post I guess. But in all fairness don't give to much weight to my thoughts on masculinity, I am a trans woman and not someone who should be an authority on matters of masculinity. But I wanted to talk about it because I think this is a special story and why do I write these posts if not to talk about wresting in a poignant way.

This has been Undisputed Queer-a.

Slay The System, Shock The Cis-tem, and see you next Monday.

[ladymcres]

brief disclaimer here, this is about build, so skip it if you find it uncomfortable

i waited a little bit before dumping whatever my brain is coming up with because yesterday was overall a hard day (real life shit happened) and i was not ready to face the eventual hate i could get for, you know, having opinions.

so, let’s start from the fact that i am not a perfect person, i do have flaws and for the same reason i do not expect perfection from anyone, neither from my close circle of friends/family nor from the people i happen to follow online.

that’s why what has been coming out in the last months - and yesterday specifically - is closure enough for me. i can’t even fathom how people can look at this whole situation and pick good and bad guys when it’s kinda obvious that they were in a relationship which turned to be pretty toxic and ended up in fire. what’s also true is that the allegations against build were indeed fake, (both the ones coming from netizens on twitter and the ones coming from poi) therefore he got his life ruined on the base of accusations that were never backed up from any evidence and were actually supported by fabricated pictures and blatant lies (making threads is not my thing, but this story is all over twitter if you’re interested) there’s also the fact that when push came to shove, he decided to take the whole thing on the legal route, while she decided that harassing him, his family (the whole thing against build’s sister was disgusting) and his fans was the right thing to do.

i’m not saying anybody should support him or turn into his fan, because i understand that we are all different and we perceive things differently, but refusing to acknowledge that in the beginning - and i put myself in there too - we were all blinded by prejudice and that the situation is now much clearer is hypocritical. I also believe that what happened to him is unfair and he deserves some sort of reparation for having his life ruined considering that things are clearly not going back to what they were before.

You do not need to be a build’s fan to see that poi lied from the beginning to the end and that as imperfect as build is, he was the one to be slandered and potentially abused. I mean, voice on the street (not confirmed from any parties, but you know, info like to leak) is that she will have to pay him a whole lot of money for this mess, which to me does not sound at all like settling, but rather admitting to a fault and deciding to pay up instead of facing more gruesome consequences.

I would also like to point out how the whole kp and bl fandoms are very much filled with double standards considering what’s been happening in the last week (and i’m not referring only to the whole gmmtv situation), but on the other hand i have hope that maybe people are starting to realize how dumb cancel culture (or fandom life the way it’s turning to be) is.

I hope Build can somehow get what he lost back and i hope he’s taking care of his mental health and, more than everything, i wish he’ll learn something from this experience. Just to be clear: this is a build-friendly blog. I won’t pretend i know him as a person, but i know him as an actor and artist and you know, 10 minutes of his acting left me gaping for a year now, so I will support any kind of project he may have in the future (i know chances of 4M happening are low but a girl can dream).

To conclude, please, do not send hate to people if you don’t like them, do not spread lies for clout, but practice kindness. There’s nothing to lose in that.