#to be clear: I'm not talking about the reactions of the rest of the cast/friend group

[homosociallyyours]

Watched the final part of the VPR Reunion and wanna state my grossly unpopular opinion right out loud in the village square: I *do* feel bad for Raquel and I *don't* think Tommy Flip-flop has gotten nearly enough of the blame in this whole scenario.

And i kinda feel like in 10 years if anyone is bothering to look back on this, there will probably be a lot of "it was a different time, you can't blame anyone for being harsh on her" talk. I reject that shit right now.

[railingsofsorrow]

we'll be alright

[spencer reid x reader]

summary: the one where it's the team's night out after a few long weeks of work and you're finally relaxing... not really. because you have a secret that's brewing your insides out.

pairing: s.reid x f!reader

w.c: 2.4K

warnings/content: mentions of pregnancy symptoms; sleep deprivation; alcohol; jj being a good friend; discussion about choices; fearing one's reaction; yk spencer reid the best (only) man on earth.

A/N: I planned this to be a small drabble... anyways, enjoy this blurb while I finish up a few requests.

navi

masterpost

cm masterlist

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“what are you doing?”

“chill, jj. I'm not drinking.”

you roll your eyes at the blonde casting you a suspicious look when she walks over. you don't know why she did it, to be honest. everyone seemed to be having fun over at the table, you just felt too uncomfortable and had to take a breath of fresh air outside. when you came back, you sat down by the counter, the bartender placed a red drink in front of you claiming it was from a guy across the bar. you didn't look, you didn't care. you push it aside with an eye roll and stick to the glass of soda you had previously ordered.

“are you okay?” her sympathetic voice is too much for you to bear right now, so you inhale sharply, actually thinking about downing that whole red drink in a go but you're one hundred percent sure certain jj would knock it off before it reaches your mouth. “sorry. I won't ask.”

“i'm just... confused.” you shrug, playing with the hem of the glass, tongue traveling over your lips. they are pretty dry, you can't remember the last time you drank water. “you don't have to keep an eye on me, jj. seriously, I'll be back in a second. I'm just... thinking.”

“have you told him?”

“no.”

her brows pull together. and before she can offer you her unwanted advice, you cut her off.

“don't tell me he has the right to know or anything like that. I know, okay? I know what I have to do, I know what I need to do. but I have a right to process everything on my own as well and I'm doing just fine doing that. for now.” you don't mean to snap, acknowledging the fact that jj means well, but you're tired of hearing obvious things about the situation and none of them did anything to help easing your nerves.

seems like people cared more about spencer's opinion on the matter rather than your own, when it is, in fact, a matter that you are carrying.

“i was gonna say take your time. you don't need to have it all figured out right this second.” you glance up at her, doubtful. jj gives your shoulder a squeeze and casts you a reassuring smile that almost sends you to jump in her arms to be coddled. “you're not on your own. I know it can be overwhelming, trust me, but you can talk to me anytime you want, okay? when you're ready.”

you smile for what felt like the first time in the night. relief swallowing down a bit of the nervousness rumbling through your chest.

“thanks, jayge,” you say.

jj gives you a wink. she leaves you alone after that and you enjoy a few minutes on your own when a familiar and welcoming touch trails down your back.

“you're quiet.” spencer eyes something above your head with hard eyes and his gaze immediately melts when it falls upon you.

“marking territory, doctor reid?” you tease, noticing the jealousy by his tells. his tries at being inconspicuous are foolish, but you like it.

he flushes red, clearing his throat and mumbling I don't know what you're talking about under his breath.

you hum, resting your chin against your palm as you look up at him. “i'm always quiet.”

“not like that.” spencer points out, tilting his head as his lips stretch into a soft smile. his gaze says I know you. you can't fool me. and he's 100% right, you can't. “is everything okay?” he questions, fingers grazing your upper arm in a way that it almost causes you close your eyes and give in to sleep right there. the truth is that you haven't been sleeping for three whole days. tossing and turning and feeding the nightmare in your head that all would go to shit. your relationship, you mean. the most solid thing you have going on for you, you'd screw that up. personally, you're a fan of facing the problem right away so you could get rid of it quickly. but this is neither a problem — not for you — nor you could fix it.

“i have something to tell you.” you swallow with difficulty. “but I- I don't know how.”

“okay.” he caresses your arm, brows knitting together in slight concern. “do you want to go home? is that okay for you?”

you sigh, hand traveling cross your face. “i don't want you to stop having fun because—”

“i wasn't having fun.” spencer is quick to cut you off albeit gently like he always is. “i was basically begging for you to call it a night so we could leave.”

a surprise laugh escapes out of you. you believe that.

“okay.” you nod, convinced. and a little less anxious to be honest. it's not like you'd say what you want to say in the middle of a crowded bar filled with drunk people. “yeah, we can, we can go home.”

“great.” he kisses your temple and waits for you to accompany him to your friend's table so you can bid your goodbyes. the first indication that something is off was your withdraw nature throughout the entire day. not that you weren't doing your job perfectly fine, you were. but your mind seemed to be elsewhere from the moment you stepped into the FBI headquarters to this very moment now. the second indication was when you said you'd get a drink and never came back. he found you by the bar with, in deed, a drink before you. then, he knew he had to say something.

“where are your keys?” spencer asks, adjusting the leather strap on his shoulder as you stride out of the pub. you lift the car keys between your fingers and he outreaches a hand towards it to which your eyebrows pull together in confusion. “you drank, didn't you?”

your face smoothes out in understanding, “no.” he regards you with uncertainty. “i didn't,” you repeat with an eyeroll. “i can't. I ordered that one but I didn't touch it. if you wanna drive though, be my guest.” he takes the keys in the first chance and you just chuckle softly, walking to the opposite side and entering the car. when you finally adjust yourself in the seat, you let out a long breath in relief. your feet are killing you as well as your head. not to mention the dizziness coming back and forth.

you don't open you eyes when something presses against your torso, you know it's spencer buckling up your seatbelt that you had forgotten.

“what did you mean by you can't drink?” the peaceful silence is broken by spencer's gentle tone. he'd look over at you every few minutes, trying to point out if the cause for your pale cheeks is the faint light of the car or something else. your eyes are shut but he knows you are not sleeping by the constant shifting in your seat.

“what?” you stumble on an answer and that's the best you are able to come up with.

“you said I can't.”

“you're correcting my misspellings now?”

spencer's eyes widen slightly. when the traffic light turns red, he quickly turns to you ready to apologise. but he sees your smirk and backs down, letting out a sigh.

“no,” he says, rolling his eyes. there is still something unsettling about your behavior, he can't point out what. sometimes it just happened, that feeling. he knew something was off without a single glance your way. the red light turned green before he can carry on speaking.

he does it anyway, though his eyes are stuck to the avenue and not on you as he plans to.

“are you okay?”

silence. and then,

“why do you ask?” your voice is soft, almost uncertain. you are hesitant and holding back. something is definitely wrong.

“you're withdrawal. you look tired and you didn't sleep well last night. I'm fairly sure you're a bit pale since this morning.” you're groaning beside him and spencer frowns. you finally arrive at your apartment and he takes a while to park before he turns the engine off. “are you sick? do you have the flu? migraines? cause we could have gone straight home tonight, you know that right? do you have a fev—”

“stop, spencer.” you mumble before his hands reach your forehead to check your temperature. you hate that he notices so much so fast. even though he's quiet about it, spencer is always paying attention. always. “it's not— I'm not sick. don't worry.”

“i'm still worrying.” he replies matter-of-fact, earning a scowl from you. he isn't phased. “should we go to the hospital?”

you huff like a five year old. “i just told you I'm not sick.”

“and I don't believe you.”

somehow, you wish he noticed more so you didn't had to say the truth out loud.

“i'm not sick.” your tone was sharp though you avoid it, it was just how it came out. you were sick of that subject.

spencer frowns. he stops himself before he could ask if you were sure of that statement.

“but I might get sick.” you utter under your breath, unsure about saying it out loud but you already did it. spencer turns to you after he takes off his shoes, a pet peeve of yours is that you hate dirty shoes around the apartment. there's always a few pairs of flipflops by the doorstep in case you have visitors. or they can just walk around in their socks, you had no problem with that, which is what spencer did. “... once in a while.”

“what is going on?” spencer approaches you slowly, his concern starting to create a thousand of theories inside his head. “really, I'm worried—”

“i'm pregnant.” you let out and release the breath you've been holding for what felt like hours. there. it's done. when you open your eyes, you don't look at him but walk straight in the direction of your room. spencer is hot on your heels. you just wanted to shower.

“what— you're— what do you mean?” his frantic voice almost makes you laugh if you weren't so tired with a headache brewing.

“i really need to take a long shower, spencer.”

“I—” he blinks, studying you for a moment before he swallows all of his questions and he sees. he sees what's going on and why your behaviour has been off these days. spencer's very observant, but sometimes he can let one or two hints wander off his radar. “okay.” he wants to hold you but he stays in his spot. if you want space, that's what he will give you. “do you need me to prepare you a bath?” he prays you say yes but you shake your head, entering the bathroom and shutting the door.

he lowers himself down on the edge of bed and stares at nothing as his thoughts swirls around the signs being thrown at his face the whole week. the morning sickness. not being able to stand the smell of any perfume. a sudden dizziness... fuck. how could he have been so clueless?

spencer admits he's always beeng good at physics and chemistry and statistics and he's constantly praised for picking up certain behaviours in his line of work, but he sucks at social cues and most of the times he misses the joke in a room or your sarcasm — though he's infinitely better at detecting that.

he takes pride in knowing you. your little quirks such as the way you press your lips together when you're uncomfortable or when you pick at your cuticles when something is on your mind during a case. he doesn't know how he didn't notice that. really, you spent most of your time together, both at work and outside of work. hell, spencer knows your period cycle. he makes sure to fill his pantry with your favourites sweet and sour snacks for that time of the month. it truly makes no sense how be could be so oblivious.

he knocks twice on the bedroom door, apprehensive and extremely careful. he's afraid by your latest reaction that you don't want him around.

it's actually the opposite.

“come in.” you're finishing getting dressed for the night. one of his old Caltech shirts slipping through your frame as he walks in slowly. you raise a brow in his direction, eyeing his figure standing by the doorway.

“i made you some peppermint tea. it's good for, hm, nausea.”

letting out a sigh at his hesitation, you lift a hand, silently asking him to come closer. “i'm not mad at you.” you clarify, breathing into his neck as he gently pulls you into his arms. “i was frustrated and tired and sore and sleepy. 'm sorry I was rude.” then, you chuckle awkwardly. “and sorry I dropped that bomb on you without a notice.”

he squeezes you, running a hand through your back. “don't be sorry. I understand.”

“are you mad?”

he pulls back a little, stunned that you even asked that. “what? why would I be mad?”

you shrug, meddling with the collar of his work attire he still hasn't taken off. “we didn't plan it. it's not ideal.”

spencer shakes his head, lifting your chin slightly to meet his gaze. “i don't care. I'm here for whatever you decide to do. there's no such thing as ideal.”

your mouth quirks up in the corners and you brush a honey brown curl behind his ear, fingertips trailing down his jaw.

“what?” he nudges your nose with his.

“i love you.” his grin is contagious and you can't help the laugh that bubbles out of you. you love him so much.

“and i love you.” you let out a shriek as he pulled you up in his arms, your feet being suspended from the ground. “hey,” he cups your cheeks lovingly. “we'll figure it out. together. alright?”

you nod, warmth flooding through your chest as you close your eyes and lean into his touch. “yeah, yeah, we will.” you mumble in the croak of your boyfriend's neck. “I love you.” you repeat just because you felt like it.

spencer mutters the same three words softly into the crown of your head. and you know everything will be alright.

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taglist: @lilyviolets ; @whore-for-spencer-reid ; @yeonalie ; @ninkieminjaj

[infinit-world]

Don't worry darling

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader

Word count: 2.41k

Summary: You have a surprise for Jenna's birthday, but soon your plan falls apart.

I've written this while being sick so I'm sorry if it doesn't make a lot of sense. Like always, if you see a mistake, please let me know.

You walk to the entrance of Wednesday’s set with a huge smile, going through your plan in your head. Today is Jenna’s birthday and you’re so excited about it. You greet your teammates while you go to the dressing room, where you spot Jenna’s bag on the corner. Making sure the room is empty, you walk to it and stick a little note inside, before leaving your own bag and walking out.

You see Jenna and the rest of the cast chatting in one of the lounge areas. You’re walking to them with the idea of saying happy birthday to your girlfriend but Tim stops you midway. “I need to go through one of the scenes with you, we’ve made some changes.” You slump a little, bummed that you won’t be able to talk with Jenna before starting to work, but you nod and follow him nevertheless.

You spend the next few hours running around the set, shooting your scenes and changing outfits when it’s necessary. By the time you finally have a reprieve, it’s almost lunchtime. You’re a little disappointed. You knew today was going to be a very busy day and you wouldn’t have any scenes with Jenna, so you wouldn’t be able to talk with her until work was finished. But, you thought at least you could be with her a little before starting.

You look around, trying to find Jenna, knowing that she should have finished shooting her scenes by now too. You don’t see her, but you do see her parents and her sister Mia waiting at the entrance. A smile forms on your lips. Jenna told you how much she’s been missing her family and how she wished she could spend her birthday with them. You wait in your spot, wanting to see Jenna’s reaction when she sees them. As you expected, Jenna immediately runs to them with a happy expression. They exchange hugs and a few words before you hear her dad saying they had a reservation in her favourite restaurant for lunch.

Your face falls a little after hearing that, your plan falling apart.

You and Jenna started dating a couple of months ago but no one knew about your relationship yet. You’re Jenna’s first girlfriend, so when you started dating she asked you for a little time for her to come out. You obviously agreed, knowing how hard it can be, especially being actresses. 

So, for her birthday, you decided to have a picnic where you asked her to be your girlfriend. It was a clearing in a forest near the city. Not a lot of people knew about it, so you knew it would aloud you to have a little alone time without having to worry about someone recognising you. It’s ok, we can still have the picnic in the evening. She deserves time with her family.

You talk with some people for a while before deciding to call it a day and go back to your apartment, knowing Jenna would meet you there after reading the note you left in her bag. You just got your things when you hear Percy and Georgie talking. “Everything is ready. Her parents will drive her to the party after they finish lunch.”  You approach them with a confused face. “You’re throwing a birthday party for Jenna?” Percy looks at you surprised. “Yeah” “Oh, no one told me. Where it is?” Georgie looks confused while Percy has a smug look. “Yeah well, that’s because you aren’t invited.” “Percy!” Georgie looks at him with anger. You have a dumbfounded expression. You don’t know how to feel about it. You’re angry at his words, you know Percy feels something for Jenna, he couldn’t be more obvious about it, and he’s jealous of you so you think it’s his doing. But then sadness and hurt washes over you. The whole cast knew about the party, and they haven’t told you anything. You started working on Wednesday just three months ago so you’re not really close with them yet, but you thought they were your friends.

You start walking fast to the exit with your head low, trying to stop your tears. You’re almost outside when Joy stops you with her hand on your arm. “Hey, where you’re going? I tho-” She stops herself when she sees your state. “Y/N, what happened?” You yank your arm from her before storming out, leaving Joy very confused and worried.

She looks where you came from, seeing an angry Georgie talking with Percy. She gets closer to them, knowing they’re the reason why you left like that. “What the hell happened?” “Nothing, she’s just too emotional!” Georgie is fuming after hearing Percy’s words. “This idiot here didn't tell Y/N about the party. She heard us talk about it and when she asked Percy told her she wasn't invited.” 

“You did what?” The three of them jump when they hear Jenna. Percy starts sputtering nonsense, trying to justify himself before Joy interrupts him. After telling her everything Jenna takes her phone from her bag with the intention of calling you but sees a note falling to the ground. Curious, she grabs it, seeing your handwriting on it. She had planned a surprise for me. How I didn’t think about it?

She turns around and starts walking to the exit without saying anything. She wants to get to you as fast as possible, knowing how hurt and disappointed you have to feel right now. She fetches her car’s key from her bag with the idea of driving to your house but her parents stop her. “Jenna, what’s going on? Where are you going?” “Later.” Before she can continue, her dad takes the keys from her hand. “You’re too shaken up to drive safely right now. Tell me where you need to go and we will drive you.” She wants to protest but she knows she won’t win, not with this, so with a sigh, she gives him your direction.

When they arrive, Jenna opens the door with her spare keys. She calls your name without a response. When she enters the living room she finds another note on the table. Jenna loves mysteries, so your idea was to leave notes with clues in them around the house. She chuckles when she reads the note.

Look where we failed the first time.

FLASHBACK

You and Jenna arrived from work an hour ago. You just got out of the shower and see Jenna lying on the sofa scrolling through Netflix. “Hey there.” She greets you with a pout. “What happened?” “I ordered pizza but I forgot I wanted cookies.” You laugh at that. When Jenna was tired, she acted adorable. “It’s ok baby, we can place another order for them.” “But we can’t! It’s too late.” You look at the clock to see that she’s right. It’s 11:13 pm and the max time to place orders it’s at 11. She’s still pouting and your heart melts at it. “Aww. I’m sorry darling.” You kiss her temple after that, taking a seat on the sofa and putting her legs on your lap. 

You stay in silence for a couple of seconds before she talks again. “Can we bake some?” You’re going to say no when you see her looking at you with a hopeful expression. “Love, we don’t know how to bake. I can’t even cook pasta without fucking it up and you expect us to make cookies?” “Please?” When she gives you puppy eyes, you sight in defeat. You can’t say no to her when she does that. “Fine, but you’re cleaning tomorrow.” Jenna squeals in excitement before getting up and going to the kitchen.

You search a recipe and take out all the ingredients while Jenna preps the oven. Everything went fine until you put the cookies in the oven. The pizza arrived at that moment and you two completely forgot about them until a burned smell spread through your apartment. “Shit! The cookies!” You go running to the kitchen, turning off the oven and getting the cookies out. They were completely burned. Jenna laughs when she sees your face. “I think we both failed at baking love.” She kisses your cheek before helping you clean the kitchen.

END FLASHBACK

Jenna starts searching the notes. Inside the oven, under the coffee table, inside the bathroom cabinet, behind a painting in the hall… Finally, the last clue brings her to your room. On top of the bed, there’s a box. She gasps when she opens it. Inside there’s a beautiful summer dress that she’s been wanting for a long time. She takes it out of the box, admiring it with a soft smile. Suddenly she hears a whistle. She looks at the door to find Mia and her parents looking at her with smiles on their faces. She was so wrapped up in your surprise she forgot her family was with her. “I suppose you and Y/N are more than friends?” She looks at her mom with wide eyes before gulping down. “We’ve been together for two months now.” She’s nervous about their reaction, but she’s relieved they finally know. She loves you too much and she’s tired of hiding. “She looks like a keeper, you better treat her right.” She smiles after that, knowing that her family fully supports her.

She looks back to the dress, wondering where you at, when she notices another note in the box. “I know where is she. Can you let me change before driving me there?” Her family nod before closing the door.

Thirty minutes later, they arrive at the spot. Jenna hops down before the car fully stops, ignoring her parents’ protests, and starts running with her heels in her hands. You’re seated on the ground, face full of dried tears, while you look intently at the small stream in front. You whip your head to the side when you hear her yelling your name. Her body collides with yours and you feel her lips.

The kiss is fast and a little desperate with all your hurt and her worry rolling off in waves. After a few seconds (or minutes, you don’t really know), you start to slow the kiss, enjoying her warmth. You give her a few short pecs before looking at her with a lovestruck expression. “Hi” She giggles before greeting you. “What are you doing here? I thought you would be at your party?” Her hands are on your cheeks caressing them and you lean into her touch, wanting to feel her as close as possible. She sighs before looking at you with soft eyes. “After we finished lunch I realised I left something in the set. When I got back, I saw Georgie and Joy arguing with Percy. They told me everything. I’m so sorry darling.” 

You flinch a little after hearing his name, still angry and hurt. She kisses your temple, before resting her forehead on yours. When you talk, your voice is weak. “You shouldn’t have come here. You should be having fun with your friends at your birthday party.” “Hey no, look at me please.” You do what she asks. “I prefer spending my birthday with my amazing girlfriend in this beautiful place than at a party. I should have known that you had prepared something. Sorry for not thinking about it.” “Stop apologising, it’s not your fault. But, you should go to the party, they worked hard for it.” You give her a smile, feeling better after hearing her. “Come with me.” You stammer a little after that. “I don’t think they want me there Jen.” “I’m sure that’s not true. But, even if it was, it’s my birthday and I want you to be there with me. I have an incredible girlfriend to show.” You look at her with wide eyes after that, afraid that you misunderstood her. “What? You’re sure? I don’t want you to feel press-” She kisses you before you can finish. 

“Jenna, we are running late!” She turns her head to throw daggers at her sister. You giggle, before getting up, offering your arm to her. “Well, we can’t have that can we?” She smiles, seeing how your mood has improved, before wrapping her arm in yours and start walking to the car. “I’m sorry it took me two months to tell someone about us.” “Don’t worry darling, I would wait forever for you to be ready.” You kiss her cheek before entering the car.

When you arrive at the place the party was held, you get a little bit nervous, but you calm a little when you feel Jenna’s hand intertwine with yours. Emma and Naomi come to greet you both. “There you are! We thought you got lost.” Emma has a playful grin and you bark a laugh at her words. “And miss the party? Never pup.” 

You enter the local, your mouth hanging open looking at the decorations. The party is held on the roof, the breathtaking view of the city getting your attention for a minute. Everything is decorated in blue, white and gold, giving it a sophisticated look. “This is amazing girls.” You nod at Jenna’s words, still taking everything in. When everyone comes to you so they can congratulate her, you take a step back, giving them space.

You walk to the end of the roof, resting your hands on the glass fence, and look at the city. You feel a presence on your right and when you look, you see Georgie with a remorseful look. “I’m sorry about earlier, Percy was in charge of the guest. We all thought you already knew about it.” You give him a small smile. “It’s ok.” You talk for a little bit before Jenna comes you your side. She grabs your hand before talking. “Want to dance with me?” You pay attention to the music and realised a slow song is playing. Your smile widens and you nod, letting her drag you to the dance floor in the middle.

You look at each other through the whole song, and when it finishes, Jenna gets close to you, kissing you soft and slow. You can feel your cheeks grow warmer when you hear some cheers from the cast, but you don’t pay them any attention, deciding instead to deepen the kiss. In the end, a little embarrassment it’s worth it if you can continue to kiss Jenna.

[pippin-katz]

what do you think about how nick and taylor don't like or comment on each other's post especially the ones after the strike when they both tagged each other? taylor reposted the other cast members posts and commented and liked but didn't do the same with Nick and Nick did interact and repost the bottoms cast posts. I'm not being a hater. I just found it odd, someone on twitter was saying how they do it on purpose bc they know some people ship them but idk isn't that weird move especially when you want to hype your movie. I love their dynamic and i feel kinda upset ngl I hope there's no drama recently taylor told a fan and when the fan asked about him and Nick he said they keep in touch often and they're good friends. i hope he was being genuine. idc if they aren't close close but in a weird way I will feel sad if there's drama

I want to believe that you have no ill intentions, but this issue is a real one in all fandom culture, and other people might need to hear this too. I'm gonna be blunt with you:

You're manufacturing drama.

They have not done or said anything that would imply that they don't like each other. In fact, they've established multiple times that they are close friends. The way they behave on social media does not establish or represent what their relationship is like in their real lives.

They could do whatever they wanted on their public accounts that could make people think there's bad blood, and actually be texting each other 24/7 behind the scenes. They could block each other's socials and watch everyone scramble while they just laugh at the chaos.

Speculating about the relationship of two grown, professional men in film industry based on the tiniest amounts of "evidence" is not good behavior.

In case you don't realize it, you are essentially suggesting that, based purely on biased observations and jumping to conclusions, that Nick and Taylor could be lying about being friends.

I find it concerning that your reaction to Taylor saying they keep in touch and are close is to question if he's being "genuine". How does two grown men acting differently than you would expect or want them to suggest that they are not being "genuine"?

If Taylor saying to a fan's face isn't "believable" enough, what do you want them to do? Post screenshots of their text messages with time stamps and dates to prove they talk to each other?

They do not need to "prove" anything to you. They owe you nothing about the details of their personal lives. They are not dolls existing for your entertainment. They are human beings.

This needs to be said and understood more in every fandom, so don't think I've aimed all this directly at you personally, Anon. Again, I want to believe you have no ill intentions, but I want to make it clear how small things like this can be unhealthy for you, for the rest of the fandom, and of course, to the public figures involved.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Aftermath

This chapter, 1124...it really didn't feel that different than the last two. It starts here with our opener. Morgans here takes on a very similar role as Buggy did in 1122, and we're still unpacking the immediate worldwide reaction to the transmission. Importantly, Luffy's gonna end this chapter with a good reminder none of it was very important to him, but Morgans starts it with a good lesson in why it should to a degree.

It's cool seeing Vivi roast him over lying, but this right here is the essence of why shaping your story matters. Buggy could take the moment and make it work for him, Vegapunk was so disconnected he realized his message might stir panic but didn't do anything to ameliorate that. Morgans is setting up Luffy the same way Sabo was. This story should rattle worldwide faith in the government. As is though, it could just end up being a tale about Luffy massacring a beloved figure worldwide. This time I don't really think the opener casts as long a shadow over the rest of the chapter, but it's now something becoming a pattern with these past few chapters. But let's get to the real meat of this one:

Talking with IRL blorbo from my blog Fallensnowfan really helped with this one but it's so stark when you see it in the actual chapter. There's this very interesting juxtaposition in the fallout of Vegapunk's death. Lilith picks up on the conversation we saw with the VegaBoys last time, a theme we've explored throughout with them. What does death mean when you've split yourself into seven parts and have a giant brain floating in a vat?

Well, here we have some interesting answers to this question. Lilith pops up and makes this big show of trying to cheer up Luffy. Get him past these feelings of failure. It was a very sudden shift but it does feel earnest, even if it reminds me a little of Carrot in WCI's End Roll. As earnest as Sentomaru and of course Kizaru. For one, we've talked about how these spotlight moments remind us of Wano's bigger ones. "Have you ever had to kill your best friend?" Well, the Akazaya Nine know that feeling. Especially Kin'emon & Kiku who had to take on the dirty work with Kanjuro.

But man...what a moment. Even Akainu cracked a little and realized he stepped over the line. Seeing Kizaru actually shaken for once too. The little flashback helped cement it as does this amazing shot of him watching all that work go up in flames. Simply put though, Kizaru/Sentomaru clearly don't feel the same way as Lilith here. Which is why part of me has to wonder if Lilith's just putting up a brave front. It's interesting Usopp raises the question of what exactly makes her the "evil" one, which is an idea we never really answered.

And of course, we do end off on what certainly seems to be a final note for Egghead Arc as a part of this story. I do have to say, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that. Lilith feels well primed to pick up that New World thread we've talked about going forward, I could certainly see this shaking out in a way where we maybe have a chapter or two away from the Straw Hats to finish off this story and give some people like Drake a moment in the intermission. Then head right into a perfectly straightforward Elbaf arc. We could even do that interspersed with clearing up some of Egghead's lingering mysteries...

But there's still enough weirdness to make me wonder. One thing I've thought for a while is that if the Giants are already here, they can tag along for a bit of island hopping. On some level it's kinda weird to keep them and Bonney and Kuma and Lilith floating around but we of course don't know what Elbaf's story is so it could easily have a place for all that. What it really comes down to for me is that, as it stands, Elbaf really has no apparent conflict set up. Which could work if it's a Zou-type arc where we reset our course or something. But if say...something happens and this group gets blown off course I could see that too. Use an intermediate arc to set up something to do on Elbaf.

Of course, this final panel gives us something to think about too. Who is the mystery silhouette? Sadly we'll have to wait for a break week to really know the next steps. Which means I have a decision to make too. I get the feeling enough people like these writeups for their own sake, but the original intent was to maybe do a little bit about the next arc reflecting on where it ties up Wano themes. Hence "Post-Wano Musings" and I could never keep that hyphen consistent in the tags. Didn't expect Egghead to keep giving me a lot to talk about there. I also just kinda thought it was funny to call an entire arc as long as Alabasta "Post-Wano."

We still have a lot of oddities and through lines though, and those could easily be left hanging as we get to Elbaf. I think my plan is to switch it up and just make normal chapter reviews when we reach a new island, Elbaf or otherwise, with a new tag. I'm leaning towards "Massive Musings" for now, but maybe something better will come up before we get there.

[itsdanii]

Rejecting you and regretting it

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: slight cursing, rude behavior (resolved), do message me if I forgot any.

ft. sakusa kiyoomi, tsukishima kei

Sakusa Kiyoomi

you're not oblivious to the fact that kiyoomi is a very conscious person

that's one of the things you loved about him

he was hygienic and he always made sure that his health was his utmost priority

but one downside is that kiyoomi had the tendency to push people away because of his straightforwardness

you were used to it and in fact, you were one of those people he tolerated

but everyone has their bad days

and unfortunately for you, today was kiyoomi's and since you were always attached to him by the hip, he unintentionally snapped at you

what's worse is that he snapped at you the moment you confessed to him

"Omi!" you shouted happily as you entered the gymnasium, giving Komori a small wave before making your way to where Kiyoomi was sitting.

He looked at you with a frown. He wasn't wearing a mask since they were training awhile ago and only took a quick break. "Y/n, what are you doing here?"

You sat beside him making Kiyoomi grimace and slightly move away. You frowned at him, completely displeased at the action. "I just wanted to give you a visit. Plus, I have something to tell you."

You started to fiddle with your fingers nervously. You practiced your confession several times already but doing it seemed harder than you thought.

"What is it? Talk, I'm not in the right mood to socialize right now."

Out of panic, you quickly blurted out a rather loud, "I like you!" You immediately covered your mouth with your hand and stared at him wide eyed.

The other players looked at you with sympathy, knowing what's about to happen. Out of all days, you really had to confess today, when Kiyoomi was in a pissy mood after several fangirls pushed themselves against him this morning, not minding his personal space.

Kiyoomi stared at you with a serious expression before standing up. "I don't like you. Leave."

"But Omi.."

"You're irritating and you always bother me when it is clear that I don't want your company." He turned around and left you on the bench, your head casted down in humiliation.

You whispered a small sorry before running out of the gym with tears falling from your eyes.

For the next few days, you did your very best to stay away from Kiyoomi. You changed your route to school knowing that your usual route meant that you have to pass by his house. Even if you got scolded several times for being late, you did not stop.

You sat near the door so you can easily exit the room after class. You even stopped eating with Komori and Kiyoomi during breaks and lunch. Even your usual routine of visiting the gym during practices was stopped.

At first, Kiyoomi didn't mind. He knew that you'd come back in a few days just like you always did. You like him after all, right?

But when a few days turned into weeks, He started getting bothered. Why weren't you pestering him like always? Why did you stop visiting him? You said you like him, right?

It was the second week that Kiyoomi took action. He woke up extra early to wait for you infront of your house, aiming to confront you about your behavior.

When you went out, your eyes widened slightly upon seeing Kiyoomi waiting for you outside. He was wearing his face mask while staring at you intently, letting you know that he purposely waited for you.

You looked down and was about to walk pass him when you felt him tugging on your wrist. Your gaze snapped to his hand, not believing that he was indeed touching your skin.

"Sakusa?"

His eye twitched at the weirdness of you not calling him like usual. Sighing, he stepped a little closer to you, hand still holding your wrist to ensure that you won't run away from him.

"You're ignoring me," he said while eyeing you. "Why?"

You took your hand from him and furrowed your brows. "I'm just doing you a favor. I don't want to be a bother anymore. Isn't this what you wanted?"

"I-"

"It's fine, Sakusa. You don't have to force yourself to apologize just because you feel bad or obliged to."

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I'm not apologizing because I feel bad."

"Then what? You're apologizing just to make fun of me? I know I said I like you but that doesn't mean that you have the right to-"

"You don't get it!"

At this point, you were both raising your voices. Some passersby were looking at you two weirdly, some even running as to not get caught up in the fight.

"Get what, Sakusa? Why don't you tell me so I can understand?!"

"I like you!" Kiyoomi exclaimed. "I... Fuck. I like you, okay? I wasn't in the mood when you confessed and I rejected you without thinking. I messed up. The moment I saw you walk out, I knew I fucked up real bad and I-"

"Om-"

"And I thought that you'd come back the next day to bother me again like usual. I wanted to apologize but my pride-"

You sighed as he continued to ramble. With fast movements, you stood on your tiptoes and encircled your arms around his neck to pull him down to you, kissing him over his mask.

When you let go, Kiyoomi was silent. His eyes were wide and you thought that you went over board. Panic made its way to your face as you try to find the words to explain.

"Sorry, I didn't me-"

This time, he was the one to cut you off. Kiyoomi took off his mask and bent down to kiss you on your lips. One of his arms snaked around your waist to support you while the other settled on your nape, angling you to him.

"Be my s/o."

Tsukishima Kei

Everyone in Karasuno knew how much you like Tsukishima

In fact, you remind him everyday

You often give him fresh strawberries from the market and even bake him strawberry cake

Sometimes, you would put little sticky notes on his belongings and write some encouraging words like "you can do it", "I believe in you" or "take it easy!"

On his birthday, you even gave him a hoodie with a dino design (which he secretly loved)

There are times that you knew Tsukishima gets irritated when you visit and even snaps at you but you didn't mind. You liked him and a small snap will not discourage you

But what you didn't know was that it would only take one conversation to completely shatter your heart

"-And they're back," Sugawara said as he saw you enter the gym, a bubbly smile present on your face as usual.

"Kei!" You skipped your way towards Tsukishima and handed him his water bottle which you voluntarily refilled with hot water.

He only gave you a 'tsk' and took the water bottle. Adjusting his glasses, he stared at you from head to toe as if analyzing you, a small blush appearing on his cheeks.

"What are you looking at? Have you finally come to realize that you like me back?" you cheekily asked, poking his bicep.

"No. I was just wondering how someone could look so ugly."

Despite what he said, you forced yourself to giggle, covering your upset feeling with an eye roll. "Oh shut up, Kei. You don't have to hide it, you know? Don't worry, I'm not going to reject you."

You winked at him causing Tsukishima to blush even more.

The rest of the boys snickered and laughed at his reaction which made Tsukishima more embarrassed than he already is.

"Just confess to the girl already, Tsukishima. Can't you see she's trying hard to win you?" Daichi said with a small chuckle while patting Tsukishima's back.

Tsukishima just huffed and pushed his glasses up. "What's there to like? They're nothing but an eyesore anyway."

"What?" you asked in disbelief.

Having a playful banter with Tsukishima was normal in your routine but this was the first time he called you such an offensive term. Does he really think of you that way?

"Oh come on, stop acting dumb. I don't even get why there are guys running after you. I mean, there's really nothing much to look at, right?"

Everyone grew quiet at what he said, clearly not expecting Tsukishima to be at such level of rudeness.

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat as your insecurity skyrocketed. "I try hard every single day to look presentable to you. I-"

You paused for a moment to laugh pathetically at yourself. "I exert a lot of effort to make you notice me. I cook for you, I give you gifts. Heck, I even stay after class to help clean the gym so that the task would be easier for you and I'm not even asking for anything in return."

Tsukishima glared at you sharply that you immediately felt extremely smaller than him. "I never asked you to do those things for me."

"Can't you at least show me that you care?" You wiped your tears with the back of your hand. "Because I'm slowly getting tired of this push and pull game."

"Don't you get it? I don't like you. Why don't you stop pushing yourself to me and start getting a life, hm?"

"Tsukishima, that's enough!" you heard Daichi yell at him.

"Y/n?" Sugawara was immediately beside you, his hand rubbing circles on your back in attempt to calm you down.

"No-" You lifted your face up to meet Tsukishima's eyes. "I think he's right. I should stop being a nuisance and focus on myself."

"I'll leave you alone. I'm sorry," you said before giving Tsukishima a bow and leaving the gym with everyone's eyes following your figure until the door shut.

Everyone could only look at Tsukishima as he cursed under his breath.

"Shit."

The moment you left the gym, you headed straight to the comfort room to let your tears out. You stared at yourself on the mirror as tears cascaded down your cheeks.

"You're beautiful," you reassured yourself while pointing at your own reflection. "What he said doesn't make you any less. Know your worth."

You wiped your tears and splashed your face with cold water before getting out and heading to class without sparing Tsukishima any glance.

You ignored Tsukishima, stopped visiting the gym and focused on yourself. You even made made friends with some of your classmates that you didn't bother getting associated with last time because you were too focused on capturing the attention of Tsukishima.

Unbeknownst to you, a certain male was eyeing you as you interact with other people. He blamed himself for pushing you away. He didn't talk to you, thinking that you only wanted space for a couple days before bothering him again.

He knew that what he said was out of line and he regret everything he did. He even asked Yamaguchi and the rest of the team for advice but all of them responded with the same answer - apologize and tell you how he feels.

Tsukishima gripped the pen tightly as he watched you laughing at something your classmate said. The said classmate was too close to you and it was obvious that he was trying to flirt with you.

"Tsukki?" Yamaguchi called out. He followed Tsukishima's gaze and sighed. "Why don't you go and talk to them?"

"Tsk. Why would I do that? Can't you see they're enjoying his company?" Tsukishima bitterly said.

"You'll end up losing them if you don't do something about it now. Who knows, they might already be lo-" Yamaguchi stopped as Tsukishima instantly stood up and made his way to where you are.

Taking your wrist, he pulled you towards him, heading out of the classroom.

"Tsukishima, what the hell?!" You tried to resist but his grip on your wrist only tightened.

You gasped as he suddenly stopped, trapping you against a wall with his arms beside your head.

"I'm sorry." Tsukishima closed his eyes, balling his fist as he bowed his head. "I said hurtful words to you and no amount of apology will take those away but I want you to know that I regret every single one of it."

You bit your lower lip as you felt yourself tearing up once again. "Do you really think that I'm ugly? I was hurt, Kei. It's just.."

"I'm sorry." His hand made its way to your cheek, cupping your face while he wiped your tears with his thumb. "You're not ugly."

You shook your head and averted your gaze from him, a sob escaping your lips as you felt yourself falling for him deeper. "Don't. Just stop. I'll accept your apology but please just leave me be. I won't be able to stop my feelings for you if you keep leading me on."

"But I don't want you to stop."

"What?"

"I've fallen for you." He tipped your chin up with his hand making you look at him and you were surprised to see the vulnerability in his features. "Please look at me again, y/n. Keep loving me because I swear that I'll do things different this time. Give me a chance."

You can't help but encircle your arms around him, burrying your face on the side of his neck as you nodded repeatedly. "One chance, Kei."

Tsukishima hugged you tightly, lips pressing on the side of your head. "One chance." He leaned away from you and held your face with his hand, eyes boring to yours admiringly.

"You're beautiful."

Likes and reblogs are appreciated ❤️

[wallflowerfangirl]

So Felix has been on my mind a lot bc he's a very interesting character whose motivations aren't quite clear. So I was thinking back to the episode Felix (where he was first introduced), and obviously we know he pretended to be Adrien in order to ruin his friendships with the rest of the cast for some reason. We know in the past though that Adrien and Felix used to be close, as they had once pulled a prank on their parents by switching places for a week. So fast foward to when Felix gets caught. Chat Noir, aka the real Adrien, decides to call him out (as he should), and this line really stood out to me:

Though Adrien may not understand all of Felix, including his true motivation behind everything he does, he still knows him better than most of the cast. Now let's see Felix's reaction to that comment.

That looks like someone who just got hit in a sore spot if I've ever seen one. At this point, he is already caught red handed and thus has no reason to act like he's still Adrien. That was a real moment for him, and I'm starting to think the writers put that specific line in on purpose.

The likelihood of him being a senti and knowing that is very high (not gonna say it's official till it's confirmed on the show). I'm thinking that because he knows he's not like a regular human both in personality and in creation, does he want the Peacock Miraculous not only to ensure he has full control over himself, but also to make friends that really understand him? Is him being so rude and cold to most others because of the fact he is secretly jealous of them for being regular humans? Finding out you aren't fully human like everyone else around you is bound to do some psychological damage, and could explain how Felix did a sudden change from someone who was close with Adrien to like a total stranger.

Strike Back also confirms that Felix has had knowledge about the Miraculous jewelry existing since before Hawkmoth became a threat to Paris, as he is seen looking at multiple pictures from what looks like the same book as the one Gabriel has.

Edit: I totally forgot he stole Nathalie's tablet in Risk, but my point still stands that he most likely knew about the Miraculous history pre Hawkmoth because of the fact he knew that the book info would be on Nathalie's tablet. We've never actually seen him look through the book even though he saw it in Risk, therefore logically he would've had to have seen the book beforehand. Mind you, this book had been missing for a long time according to Tikki, so this type of knowledge isn't common knowledge. A lot of the Miraculous knowledge isn't super common knowledge even now in their world bc Master Fu kept the Miraculous hidden and unused for about 170 years. Also Alya can't share all the info she knows on her blog bc it could hint at the fact that she's a superhero (let alone Ladybug's closest helper as of recent).

I say this because of the context between the conversation Adrien and Felix had when they were in his room in that episode and he mentions his Dad's death like it's the first time they ever talked about that. This would explain why Felix was able to deduce that Gabriel was Shadowmoth as quickly as he did.

On the off chance he is not a sentimonster, then I think it would be because he had a similar childhood to Adrien. Though I do think that both him being a senti and having his Dad die could both be the reasons why Felix acts the way he is. Anywho, we know Felix did have a Dad who died around the same time as Emilie, and Amelie does mention the following at the end of the episode:

Based on this line, it sounds like those two had a similar relationship like Gabriel and Adrien do, as Gabriel is often controlling over what Adrien does. I mean, when Adrien talks about Felix's Dad (who is also his Uncle, mind you) he doesn't even mention his name, let alone personality. This is odd considering Adrien is the more sentimental type. Now if he was cold and distant like say Gabriel, that would explain why Adrien hardly mention anything about Felix's Dad as a person.

A theory I have is that based on context clues, Felix was also most likely homeschooled aswell and thus a lonely child. Given his behavior and how implied it is that Gabriel and Felix's Dad were quite similar, it makes sense to me atleast.

While they may have not had the best relationship, Felix still has emotions at the end of the day. I mean we all saw how in Risk he was terrified over seeing Emilie's corpse. He was alone then, so he had no reason to fake that reaction. Also, I don't think it was necessarily because she looks just like his Mom (although that is definately part of the reason). In the episode Gabriel Agreste, he is shown smiling at a painting that is clearly Emilie (as there would be no reason for the Agrestes to have a huge painting of his Aunt). Felix might be a jerk, but it is clear he liked his Aunt and feels bad about her death.

As someone who has had a parent die at a young age, it changes you a lot. Sometimes, it can make you a better person in the long run. Other times, it can turn you into a much colder and darker person. Psychologically speaking, Felix is a complex individual who appears to have gone through quite a bit. We don't know too many truths about him, but I wanted to analyze more of what we do know.

One thing I can say for sure though is that story wise, Adrien and Felix are perfect parallels of one another. For this, I'm gonna ignore the senti theory and just focus on the facts shown in canon. You have one boy who lost his loving Mom, and despite his colder Father, is able to remain positive even if times get rough. Another boy who lost his cold Father, found himself turning colder despite having a loving Mother by his side to support him. It's beautiful yet heartbreaking, and I really hope we truly get to understand Felix more in Season 5. I would definately like to see how he and Duusu get along, and what he does with the Peacock Miraculous.

Once again, this was just a string theories that came into my head so it might be wrong. Ik this post was a bit all over the place, but I hope you atleast understand where I am coming from. Thanks for reading!

[lit-in-thy-heart]

and the next instalment of the merlin gif analysis saga is...

gwaine realising he's in love with merlin

because i want to make myself cry

Glossing over the fact that the first gif actually makes something in my chest clench, this seems to be the episode where Gwaine realises that he might be a lot little in love with Merlin.

Elyan definitely seems to believe that Gwaine is in love with someone in 5×06 (thanks @sneakyboymerlin for reminding me of that) and you could argue that Gwaine's lack of interaction with Merlin in 5×05 proves that it's not Merlin he's in love with, but think about it.

Gwaine rarely reveals his true feelings when he's around other people, but Merlin seems to be the exception. He's put himself out on the line before (yes I'm thinking about the 'Not Arthur' scene, I'm always thinking about that scene) because he can't seem to help but lay himself bare in front of Merlin. So if he's realised that he cares for Merlin a bit more than he should, he is going to be terrified of revealing that fact, and avoids Merlin because that's the only way he is going to be able to process his feelings.

Because Gwaine has it bad.

He loves Merlin subtly, powerfully. In the first gif, he casts a glance over his shoulder to make sure that Percival is still behind him and has still got hold of Merlin (honestly I don't know what they'd do without Percival, he's essentially the assigned transportation knight) and what's really interesting is what Gwaine is doing with his hand. It's not quite gripped on his sword, but hovering above it, with the fingers splayed. And perhaps I'm projecting but that is a movement I usually associate with trying to calm yourself down when panicked. As if he's telling himself to take a breath and everything will be fine. And the way Gwaine takes Merlin from Percival is so painfully gentle. He lets Merlin's body fall into his arms, rather than actively manipulating his form with his hands. Gwaine seems very reluctant to disturb Merlin in any way at all, choosing to kneel behind his head and slow down the process of setting Merlin down, despite the situation being quite dire. He handles Merlin like he's a glass ornament, as if he's afraid of him shattering at any moment.

Merlin is relatively well-supported by the makeshift bed they've got going on, yet Gwaine chooses to leave his hand resting on Merlin's shoulder. In fact, it doesn't look just like it's resting, but he's moulded his whole hand to fit around Merlin's shoulder. His hand doesn't need to be there. Gwaine doesn't even need to be there. He could easily be stood with the other knights, yet his instinct is to be as close to Merlin as he can. The only way he could be closer is by having Merlin in his lap, but that would probably make it more difficult for Gaius to examine him.

Gwaine has never really been one to shy away from physical contact. In the season 3 episodes he consistently provides Merlin with hugs (mostly when Arthur has rejected him but we'll get onto that whole thing in a bit) despite not knowing each other for that long. Even later on in this episode, he drops all the firewood to give Merlin a hug when he recovers. There seems to be an instinctive urge to be close to Merlin. And the fact that Merlin's head is resting on Gwaine's forearm is making me want to curl up in a ball and scream. And maybe Gwaine has never questioned this eagerness for physical contact before. But by the second gif, I think he knows what his initial refusal to be away from an unconscious Merlin means.

And a key part to this analysis is something I never thought I'd be looking at in depth, as glorious as it is: Gwaine's hair.

The first image directly follows the first gif, and the second image precedes the second gif. You can see that Gwaine's hair in the first image is much flatter than it is in the second. By the time Arthur and Co have left and Merlin is still unconscious, Gwaine seems to have been running his hands consistently through his hair. It's significantly messier and, whilst it could be argued that the wind plays a part, Gaius's hair remains largely unaltered. And one way to try and deal with stress or panic is to run your fingers through your hair again and again. It's not difficult to believe that Gwaine has been pacing up and down doing exactly that because Merlin is still not waking up.

If he was panicked before, then he's feeling tormented now. His hair, pushed out of his face in the first gif and image, is falling unchecked into his face and Gwaine, who usually keeps his hair in a relatively immaculate condition, is doing nothing about it. Because Merlin is lying right in front of him, potentially dying, and he has no clue how to deal with that.

In the second gif, Gwaine partially turns away and looks up, seeming to take a quick breath. He's deliberately not looking at either Merlin or Gaius, and this reaction comes after Gaius implies that Merlin could have internal injuries. And if there's internal damage and Gaius doesn't know how to deal with it, then Merlin doesn't stand a chance. And it's quite possible that Gwaine is looking up like that to try and blink away tears or just to ground himself. Merlin has been seriously injured before (think of the writers using him as a bit of a punching bag in season 4) but that damage was always external and Merlin was healed rather quickly. If it's internal, then nothing can be done by Gwaine. And it is when Gwaine is faced with the thought of being without Merlin that he realises just how much he needs him.

And when there's the slimmest chance that Gwaine might be able to help, he launches himself into it. When Gaius tells him to get firewood, he starts off in a manner that is almost a sprint, before seeming to realise that being in that much of a rush would expose his feelings, and he hesitates before electing for a fast walk instead. Because the only way he can keep himself from falling apart is to focus on helping Merlin and the possibility that he might be alright after all.

Look at his face here. He is stunned, then ecstatic, then confused. And the way that he moves towards Merlin makes it clear that he is not going to give him the trademark one-armed hug, but a full-on embrace. And Merlin brushes Gwaine off, because he doesn't have the time because Arthur is in danger and Gwaine probably should be paying more attention to what Merlin is saying but he's not. He's giving Gaius a tender smile as if to thank him for helping Merlin.

Gwaine hasn't made any mention of Arthur or the knights, even though it is a dangerous mission with or without knowing it's a trap, and his preoccupation with Merlin shows just how deeply he cares for him. The fact that his first instinct is once again to make physical contact with him, even though there was the prospect of internal damage and hugging Merlin might not have been the best thing to do, just says that Gwaine has got it tremendously bad for Merlin.

It took the thought of Merlin dying for Gwaine to realise that he was in love with him, and Gwaine spends the rest of the series struggling to deal with that.

He distances himself from Merlin for two episodes, not engaging in any conversations with just the two of them, until--

THE SUBTEXT.

Merlin's glance down in the first gif, demonstrating that he'd also do anything to protect his mother, is one thing, but Gwaine's reaction? The subtle sag of his body, the eyes darting down away from Merlin, the gentle swallow. In that moment, he's thinking how he would do anything to protect Merlin. Gwaine's gaze lingers on Merlin for a moment before he looks away, realising that Merlin has no idea how he feels about him. There's so much tenderness in that one look, especially after the slight annoyance that there seemed to be when Merlin kept talking about Arthur.

Gwaine was Merlin's friend before he was a knight. But Merlin only seems to see him as a knight these days, and Gwaine seems to decide that the only way he can indicate any of the love he has for Merlin is by being what Merlin wants him to be: a soldier to protect Arthur.

You have my word on it, Merlin.

You have my word that I will protect the one you care about the most. You have my word that I will keep him safe for you, so you don't have to feel the same pain I did. You have my word that I will put my life on the line for him, because he means more to you than I ever will.

Because this is when Gwaine realises that though he may love Merlin, Merlin will not love him back.

The way Gwaine falls back in his chair is incredibly interesting. There seems to be a bit of an impact with his shoulders, suggesting that he's hitting it with some force, but his limbs seem pretty tense. He's not slumping back in it from fatigue, he seems to be subtly throwing himself back in it. Because when Merlin was injured, Gwaine was thinking only about him and worrying about his welfare. But when Gwaine himself is injured (or has faced a threat of injury), Merlin spends the whole time talking about Arthur. And Gwaine can never measure up to Arthur. Gwaine only received hugs from Merlin when he'd been rejected by Arthur; a part of him believes that he's second best to Arthur in Merlin's eyes. And Gwaine is resigned to that, to never being able to measure up to Arthur, but is not happy about it. But he clings on to Merlin in whatever ways he can. By protecting Arthur. By greeting him when he's released from the cells and being one of the first faces he sees.

And just before their final interaction in the finale, Gwaine doesn't give Merlin a hug after Merlin has faced injury, but a touch on the arm. A touch that is incredibly similar to the one Arthur has given Merlin many times.

Because maybe, just maybe, if Gwaine can prove that he's similar to Arthur, then Merlin might look at him in the same way he looks at Arthur. Might prioritise Gwaine for once. Might even return a fraction of the love that Gwaine hasn't known what to do with for most of the season.

Gwaine would do anything for Merlin, but, by the final season, Merlin only sees him as a shield for Arthur.

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

hello, val! how are you doing?

i just finished watching nwh, and it totally reminded me of all the loki rehabilitation fanfictions, more so, loki in training. anyhow, i am bewitched by stephen again (as if i am not already...) and was wondering about your opinions regarding his portrayal in the movie. it was a tad offensive, a tad dismissive but also amiable. he really had a solid point that was just brushed off.

Hi Venus! 😉

Oh I love, adore, worship, idolize and admire Stephen in NWH. He's so wonderful and... yeah, I'm going to stop there. I really like him in the movie, in case it wasn't clear 😜 And let me preface this by saying that I'm sorry this got so long!

Ideally they would have addressed why he was convinced the villains needed to go back but I understand NWH is a Spidey movie and not his. Still it's not entirely fair for him because it almost seems like he's being selfish or cruel (like Peter says to him at some point, "come on Strange, have a heart". Pete honey, my darling, he has the biggest heart in the MCU).

I get what Stephen wanted: there's a very real threat in those villains and he wants to send them back, keep in mind he doesn't know what happened to them or how they became villains, all he knows is they came barging in destroying things and quite possibly killing people. If they stay their actions will hurt many in his universe and who's responsibility is that? His, because he agreed to the spell. Stephen's focus is on the universe and the multiverse in direct contrast with Peter's concerns (which are his friends, family, those villains).

His lines "it's their fate" and "in the grand calculus of the multiverse their sacrifice means infinitely more than their lives" are a direct nod to IW: he's not only talking about those villains, he's referencing Stark and Natasha and all those who had to die so that most could live. This, if the movie had centered around him, would have addressed his guilt and self-doubt and remorse, but it was Spidey's movie so...

In a way, as he's saying those words to Peter he's also telling himself the same thing: "there was no other way, I did the right thing". (Oh and because Marvel doesn't seem to get it: just because Stephen is doubting himself it doesn't mean that what he did in Titan was wrong, it wasn't. You can feel guilty without actually being guilty, those two are different things!).

So no one can judge any of this by its outcome, you have to judge it by whatever information they had at the time: those villains came from another universe, they showed up destroying things and very likely killing people, they have no clue how they ended up as villains and Peter's belief in their inherent goodness was just that, a belief, a hope. What if he had been wrong? They were lucky only May died there, it could have gone really wrong.

So it's not like Stephen doesn't care about those villains, it's that his job is to protect the universe and given his guilt and remorse he needs to convince himself that what he did with Thanos was the right thing, otherwise the alternative is a hard pill to swallow, which is why I would have wanted them to make a point of showing Stephen's reaction to Peter healing the villains, surely that would have been slightly traumatizing for him (I can imagine the self-doubt "wait, if the kid found a way, maybe I could have as well...").

Another consequence of all this is Stephen's willingness to perform the spell. Clearly, it's wrong: brainwashing an entire planet because Peter's life is upside down is not reason enough to do it but Stephen is so sure of his abilities (and he probably feels he had let Spidey down) that he rushed to help - and if he hadn't been interrupted none of this would have happened. And before anyone comes at me, yes I know Stephen should have explained the spell before casting it.

This is another example of his hubris, something he needed to improve in MoM and, in a way, he did.

As for the rest, his short interactions with Wong were funny, he's still a drama queen (and that's always a good thing, I mean look at his entrance in the movie!), he raises his voice at Peter but catches himself in the act so he apologizes immediately, I'm sure he loved MJ's audacity ("I know a few magic words myself", lol she's awesome), he's so soft with Peter at first when he has to tell him he doesn't have the Time Stone, and of course the scene in the end with Peter was so lovely but I spoke about it here and this ask got long enough.

Oh and one more thing, the whole "do you remember the full-moon party at Kamar-Taj?"... there was no party, I'm sure of it. I will die on this hill, Stephen was messing with Wong.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #198

Happy New Year! (If it is not new years, please disregard.) Today we're crossing into the 2020 servants; hopefully this build makes that clear.

Today we're building Katsushika Hokusai, the daughter/fatheroctopus painter duo, most famous for... waves? And also making a deal with Cthulhu. We're grabbing some levels in Creation Bard for the former, and Hexblade Warlock for the latter. Don't worry, it'll make sense as we go.

Check out their build breakdown below the cut, or their character sheet over here!

Next up:

Race and Background

Oui is a Human. Her dad's an octopus, which is weird, but we'll deal with that later. Also, we're making her a variant human for cool stuff. She gets +1 Wisdom and Charisma, as well as Animal Handling proficiency to get along with her parents and the Magic Initiate feat, which uses her Wisdom to cast druid spells. Since magical paintbrushes aren't an official weapon in D&D 5e, we'll call it a quarterstaff instead, which means you can use Shillelagh to make it fancy and magical for the duration. It also turns the damage die into a d8, deals magical damage, and uses your wisdom instead of strength to hit things and deal damage. You also get Frostbite to splash cold water on people, and Protection from Evil and Good. You can cast that last one once a day for free, and it'll protect you against aberrations (plus celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead) for ten minutes with concentration. They'll have disadvantage to hit you, and they cant' charm, frighten, or possess you, and any existing effects of that ilk you can shake off with advantage. No spoilers, but that'll come in handy soon enough.

You also get the Guild Artisan background, because you paint for money. That gives you Insight and Persuasion proficiency.

Ability Scores

Make your Charisma as high as possible. You paint good, and you have the mental fortitude to keep an elder god from yeeting your soul from your body. Good job. Second highest is Dexterity, painting lifesized waves in the air around you doesn't actually need all the backflips, you just like to show off. Your Wisdom is also pretty good, it's hard to paint things you can't see well, and again that whole "mental fortitude" thing. Your Constitution is pretty good, you handle all-nighters pretty well. That means your Strength isn't great, but we're dumping Intelligence. You're kind of a hick, after all. Plus, really? Swordbeauties?

Class Levels

Bard 1: You weren't born with the squid powers, so we'll grab those up a bit later. Right now you're just a plucky young artist with a dream. As a bard, you get proficiency with Dexterity and Charisma saves, as well as three skills of your choice. Performance and Nature will help you paint nature, and Arcana will help you find the squid guy in the first place. You get Bardic Inspiration, Charisma Modifier d6s per long rest, and you can give one to your allies to boost one attack, check, or save by however much they roll. Nothing like some tasteful nudes to get the spirits up. You also get Spells that you can cast using your Charisma. Friends makes it easier to pass charisma checks against a creature for a minute, but they'll know you magicked them afterwards. Thankfully, getting paid doesn't take that long. Minor Illusion helps you bring your paintings to life, but just a little bit. It'll create a still object or sound that lasts for up to a minute. Creatures can tell it's an illusion with an investigation check, or by touching it. You also get Animal Friendship- your dad can be hard to get along with. Color Spray weaponizes your paints to blind creatures in the area, and Illusory Script lets you write one thing, but really write another. I'm sure you can argue this should count for paintings as well. Oh, you also get Dissonant Whispers. You're a Foreigner, you can be a little creepy if ya wanna.

Bard 2: Second level bards become a Jack of All Trades, adding half their proficiency to skill checks they aren't proficient in. You're an anime character, it's an unwritten rule you should be good at everything. You also get a Song of Rest, adding a d6 to healing your party does over a short rest. On top of that, your bardic inspiration becomes Magical Inspiration, letting your allies add it to the damage or healing of a spell. Finally, grab the spell Silent Image for moving images, so now you can paint birds and/or waves and have them look just like the real thing. Now, third level of bard is where things start getting funky, so before we can do that, let's make a deal.

Warlock 1: Bouncing over to warlock lets you become a Hexblade, which sounds kind of weird, but there's a reason for that. You don't do weird mind stuff like the GOOlocks, and you don't really use Tentacles like the Fathomlocks. What you do need though, is a fancy magic brush, and a fancy magic octopus. There isn't a familiar-based subclass yet, so we had to go with the weapon-based one, and we'll pick up your dad later. Anyways, starting off as a Hexblade lets you invoke a Hexblade's Curse as a bonus action, dealing your proficiency in extra damage to the cursed creature, crit on 19s, and heal yourself when the cursed creature dies. The curse lasts 1 minute, and you can use this once per short rest. Hokusai also become a Hex Warrior, turning one non-two-handed weapon into a special weapon at the end of a long rest. Now your brush uses your Charisma to attack, nice. Unfortunately, this doesn't include magical damage, but you can stack this with Shillelagh if you really need to. You also get another set of spells with your Pact Magic. These slots recharge on short rests, and it means your multiclassing doesn't mix slots like most spellcasting classes would. You can still use one kind of slot to cast the other kind of spells though. Speaking of spells, grab Eldritch Blast for some paint splashes, and Mage Hand for a pseudo-octopus that'll grab things for you. Cause Fear lets you paint a really creepy thing one target can see, forcing a wisdom save and scaring them if they fail. Arms of Hadar will give you a little bit of tentacles, as a treat. They'll force a strength save on creatures near you, dealing necrotic damage and making them too gooey to take reactions.

Warlock 2: Second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations, mini-feats to help you cope with only having two spell slots. Grab Armor of Shadows for free Mage Armor on yourself at will. Your family is your armor, and I mean that literally. Stop wearing your dad, it's creepy. You also get a second one, but we're saving that for the next level. Don't not take one now though, I'm just saying it won't matter in the long run.

Bard 3: Now that your pact is sealed, we can get the real living paintings going. If you're thinking 'bout an inking feel free to shuffle levels around, I just want to hit Font of Inspiration quickly. As a Creation bard, Hokusai gets an Inkling of Potential, adding extra effects to her bardic inspiration. Ability checks let the user roll twice, attack rolls deal extra thunder damage, and saving throws add temporary HP to the user. She can also enact the Performance of Creation, creating a nonmagical item nearby. Currently it must cost less than 20 times your bard level, and it has to be medium or smaller. You can do this once per long rest, or by spending a 2nd level slot, but doing so destroys the first object if it still exists. Right now this only makes medium objects, but a 5' wave of water is nothing to sneeze at. You also get Expertise in two skills, doubling your proficiency them. Pick up Insight and Performance for the ultimate style-copying skills. Finally, you get second level spells. We can't focus too much on non-charisma abilities, but this'll give you a leg up on seeing the true nature of things. It gives you advantage on any one kind of ability check for up to a minute.

Bard 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Charisma. Now you have more inspiration, better spells, and a bigger brush. Charisma's good, you'll like charisma. You can also paint Dancing Lights and a Phantasmal Force now. The former lights up an area, the latter creates a phantasmal creature or object that only one creature can see for up to a minute. It can break the illusion with an Investigation check, but until then it treats the thing as completely real, rationalizing away inconsistencies. It also can take a bit of psychic damage if the illusion would cause harm within 5' of itself.

Bard 5: Fifth level bards become a Font of Inspiration like we talked about earlier, giving you inspiration recharges on short rests instead of long ones. Your inspiration also jumps to d8s. Finally, grab Major Image for more major illusions than minor image. It creates an object up to 20' on each side, and includes effects like sound, smell, and temperature, as long as they wouldn't deal damage. You can also move the illusion using your action. Same rules apply to breaking it though- investigation check or just touching it.

Warlock 3: Finally back in warlock, you get your pact boon, and the Pact of the Chain gives you Find Familiar as a ritual, and you can skip your own attack to attack with your familiar. Wildly enough, Octopus is already a rules as written option for Find Familiar. Awkward point; octopi can only be out of water for 30 minutes. Good luck with that! On top of that, Mirror Image lets you paint duplicates of yourself, making it harder to hit you. Boom, evade skill achieved. You get three extra copies, and every time you get hit, there's only a 25% chance of actually hitting the real one. If an illusion gets hit, it's destroyed, so the odds go up to 33%, then 50%. You also put in the Investment of the Chain Master, giving your dad a flying speed, the ability to attack as a bonus action, magical weapons, your DC for saves, and you can react to give the little bugger resistance to one instance of damage. Literally everyone else's dad is dead already, try not to add one more to the pile. Except for Romani's, but that's sad in its own way.

Warlock 4: Another ASI, max out your Charisma. It's good, you use it for literally everything. For spells, Mind Sliver deals psychic damage an makes the target's next save a bit harder to make. You also get a Crown of Madness, which gives you control over a creature's attack action. Just because you're less spooky than Abby doesn't mean you're not spooky.

Warlock 5: Fifth level warlocks get a new invocation and third level spell. Summon Shadowspawn lets you paint one of three kinds of shadowspawn, creepy little things that can scare people by screaming at them. They'll obey your commands, and it'll last up to an hour, until they hit 0 HP, or you drop concentration. Your last invocation is the Gift of the Depths, letting you breathe underwater and swim as fast as you can walk. Now it's slightly less awkward to carry your dad around, yay. You can also cast Water Breathing for free once per long rest.

Bard 6: Finally back in bard now, sixth level creation bards can put on an Animating Performance, turning a large or smaller item into a Dancing Item with its own stats and everything. You have to use your bonus action to command it in battle, but you can inspire people at the same time. I'm not sure how well animating water would work, but it's something to look into. You also learn how to Countercharm, spending your action to give creatures near you advantage on saves against being charmed or frightened. For something better, grab Intellect Fortress. For up to an hour, you'll resist psychic damage, and you get advantage on all Int, Wis, and Chr saves.

Bard 7: Seventh level bards get fourth level spells, like Hallucinatory Terrain! Now you can paint a landscape- literally! It's only 150' in range, but that's still plenty of space to mess with people. It doesn't really change anything, but forcing people to look at non-euclidean geometry is its own reward.

Bard 8: Another ASI. Bump up your Dex now so you're less likely to get hit, then grab Phantasmal Killer to paint a scary creature that will follow the target around and beat them up. It's a shame only one creature gets to see it.

Bard 9: Ninth level bards get a better song of rest, but more importantly you get fifth level spells. Legend Lore will help you see the true meaning of things more easily, and the more you already know about something the more you'll learn. That's why your Arcana and Nature skills are so high. Oh, wait, sorry, one sec...

Bard 10: And that's why your Arcana and Nature skills are so high... starting now, with another round of Expertise. Your inspiration also jumps to d10s, and you learn Magical Secrets, two spells from any spell list you can cast. On top of that, you get Prestidigitation to paint up small objects. For your secrets, Conjure Animals lets you paint up some real animals that'll attack enemies for you. Alternatively, you can Control Water to make those waves we've been trying to do with way less fuss than a Song of Creation or Animating Performance. It does come with the limit of using existing water, though you can also Part Water, cause a Whirlpool, or Redirect Flow with this one.

Bard 11: Eleventh level bards get a sixth level spell, and True Seeing will help you see All Things in Nature, letting you see through illusions, invisibility and the like.

Bard 12: One last ASI; bump up your Constitution for better concentration and more HP.

Bard 13: Your Song of Rest is a d10 now, and you get a seventh level spell. Prismatic Spray is the return of Color Spray, but it's taken steroids. Now it deals plenty of damage of a random type to each creature in its area, or it has a chance to shove them into another dimension or petrify them.

Bard 14: Your last goody from the college of creation is a Creative Crescendo, allowing you to paint up to your Charisma Modifier in items when you use a Performance of Creation. Only one can be a biggun, the rest have to be small or tiny. Also, your max size is Huge now, and a 15' cube of water will make a pretty big splash. You also get another round of Magical Secrets, grabbing you Conjure Elemental for a more symbolic approach to flooding people, and Wrath of Nature to paint a landscape that'll really fuck with someone. The grass turns land into difficult terrain, the trees will slash at enemies nearby, Roots and vines restrain enemies, and Rocks will throw themselves at enemies, knocking them prone on a failed strength save. It's not mind melting geometries, but it's still mess with people's heads.

Bard 15: Your ultimate level gives you a d12 inspiration die. You also get one last spell, of the eighth level. Feeblemind will handle all the mind melting the last level failed to live up to, forcing an intelligence save and dealing damage regardless. On a failed save, the creature's Intelligence and Charisma drop to 1, and it can't cast spells, use magic items, talk, or understand people. The only ways to fix this are with another Intelligence saving throw (every 30 days) or using Greater Restoration, Heal, or Wish.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Like the regular Hokusai, this build has a great deal of flexibility, with pretty good AC, HP, and physical attack options to get up close and personal, as well as ways to buff allies and attack with spells at a distance.

Speaking of spells, they give you a lot of crowd control options. You can create extra allies with summoning spells and Animating Performance, blow them away with waves from Control Water or Performance of Creation, or keep them tied up with various illusions.

You're also really good at fighting other spellcasters. Spells like Protection from Evil and Good and Intellect Fortress will shore up most of your saves against fancier spells, and you can use Feeblemind to completely shut down anyone who isn't a wizard or artificer.

So piss off your patron and kick the ass of their flunkies, easy! Wait, there's still cons.

Cons:

Okay, so there are some problems with throwing waves all over the place: they're hard to control where exactly they end up. Also, your best wave requires real water, which won't always be available.

On a similar note, you specialize in summons and illusions, both of which tend to require Concentration saves. Yours aren't that great, and on top of that it means you can only have one up at a time. Unless you're cool with an elemental running around willy nilly, but that fits into Con #1.

Your Familiar can only stay on dry land for 30 minutes at a time. If you're going to play this in a landlocked campaign, switch the octopus and last invocation for something else, it'll be a pain otherwise.

Okay, she isn't perfect, just make sure you carry an aquarium with you, problem solved, right?

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

Feelings without a name

I think I couldn't provide too much Angst or any if that but I'd compensate it in prompt 20, hope you still like it anyways.

I'm gonna do both of them btw-

Dialogue Prompt - 22. Look he/she wants you, just make him/her happy | MILD ANGST | FLUFF | DOMESTIC|

" could you scooch a little ?" Draco asked harry with two wine glasses in his hands.

Harry took his legs off the couch, shifting over and making some space for draco.

" thanks " draco murmured as he collapsed down next to harry and handed one wine glass to harry.

" white ?" Harry asked and draco nodded.

" what did I miss ?" Draco asked he he shifted to bring his back supported against the arm rest and his feets tucked beneath Harry's thighs.

" they're trying to set me up on a date with someone and apparently making a deal of how long I would be single for " harry rolled his eyes with a little playful grin over his face.

" oh, count me in on the bet " draco announced to the room full of their friends raising his wine glass.

" you're supposed to support me " harry playfully hit draco before he raised his right arm and adjusted himself to lay his head over draco's chest. Draco very casually circled his arms around Harry's available torso and gave him more space so harry was cuddled into him.

" I mean it only makes sense, you've been single for more longer than my parents are married for " draco joked. Harry nudged draco by his elbows before laughing it off.

" how about the guy from the flower shop ?" Blaise asked cuddling Ron into him.

" eh, he gives straight vibes " harry mumbled

" okay how about the guy you met in IKEA, he gave you his number didn't he ?" Ginny asked eating from her bowl of popcorn

" nah, he's too lanky " harry shook his head pouting.

" what about " Hermione paused thinking of someone " oh right, the guy from your quidditch practices "

"mione I saw him making out with Megan" harry raised an eyebrow at her to validate his point

" date a rabbit, you won't find flaws in it " Seamus suggested

" as good as it sounds, I wouldn't make a nice humping toy " harry joked.

" harrrry, eww" everyone cringed throwing some popcorn at him before the room dissolved into laughter giving up the idea of setting harry up with someone.

Almost 2 hours later, harry was wandering about the house trying to find draco and ultimately realising he wasn't on the floor and decided to check upon their sneak up spot, the terrace.

Harry almost smiled when he caught glimpse of draco standing against the railings before harry stepped on another stair and caught full glance of draco and theo kissing.

Until that moment harry had never realised how much draco kissing someone might've effected him until he saw the very look of it and couldn't bring himself to look away and only broke his trance when he heard his name being yelled and in all abruptness harry went downstairs a strange feeling constraining his heart.

" where were you ?" Hermione asked but harry only shook his head not trusting his voice. Hermione frowned at him before she tried asking if everything was fine and harry responded with a nod.

But everything was far from fine.

Harry always knew he somewhat felt differently about draco but until now he never knew how differently or what kind of different and now when he saw him kissing theo, he knew it was a strange combination of sadness and jealousy forming a strange chemical reaction inside of him.

But he tried not be effected by it everytime after that he saw draco. The more he saw him, the more he was faced with harsh reality that draco liked theo because if he didn't, he'd had never kissed him. And in all sanity harry maintained his distance until he figured what he felt for draco. Of course it wasn't love, but it wasn't nothing either, it was something, it just didn't had a name.

Although it was very vividly clear to everyone that harry was partially ignoring draco. It was clear in the ways that harry sat now on the floor rather than on the couch with draco even when it has space, or even when draco offered but nobody dared to ask because everyone knew better that if harry wanted to talk about something, he'd be clear about it and if he didn't, he's just waiting for the right moment but draco played the only exception in his life. He didn't take Harry's shit and more often called him right out which created a lot fights between them in past and present and perhaps this was also the reason why harry always felt draco was one of a kind.

" you're ignoring me " draco said one day when he dropped by Harry's office before they went home.

Harry was stuffing back his bag when he heard draco but didn't stop and continued keeping his things in the bag " I'm not "

" yes you are " Draco snapped as he slammed the door shut and dropping his bags on the floor.

" I'm not " harry replied zipping his bag and wearing his coat.

" don't lie to me. You've been keeping distance. I want to know if there's something I did wrong ?" Draco asked following after harry as he walked in the room, locking things away.

" you didn't do anything draco and I am not ignoring you " harry replied more sternly as he casted the curtains shut.

" don't fucking lie to me " draco snapped as he whirled harry around to face him

" you think I don't know you're ignoring me, I can see it. You won't even look at me as if I've done something wrong " draco scrunched his face as if he was disgusted.

" yes,fine, you have. I thought we're best friends and supposed to tell each other everything but somehow I think it may have slipped your mind to mention that you're snogging theo now " harry Snapped jerking away from draco's hold and collected his bags of the table.

" oh " draco only replied as he too slowly turned around " I " he breathed " I didn't know you knew that "

" I saw you two kissing " harry sternly replied facing draco properly now.

" it was nothing act-"

" then why didn't you tell me ?" Harry crossed his arms over his front.

" because it meant nothing- or- I don't know- it doesn't matter. You don't like theo and I would never date someone I know you hate " draco hastily replied decreasing the distance between them.

" do you like him though ?" Harry sucked in his cheeks waiting for an answer.

" do you ?" He asked again when met with silence.

" I- I don't know " draco replied shrugging. Harry exhaled heavily before he picked up his bag and almost left the room when Draco stopped him.

" wait- I- I really mean it, I don't know. If it were something I'd had told you before "

" do me a favour draco then, if you know then tell me " harry replied and Marched out of his office.

The next time they saw each other was 2 weeks later at Luna's birthday and harry was sitting at the bar talking with the bartender, when his eyes fell upon the door of the bar and people outside who seemed to be fighting. Harry frowned trying to get a clearer image when he finally saw the other man walking away, theo and in an instant harry realised it was draco standing abandoned. It ached harry to even find the sight of a draco looking hurt. And Before he could even process anything, he was making his way Outside to draco.

" hi " harry titled his head for emphasis.

" hey " draco sighed as he turned around to face harry.

" saw you two fighting " harry reduced some distance between them.

"yeah- we- well we haven't started dating yet and everything and he already have issues " draco sighed leaning against the wall before sitting down over the ground, his knees pressed against his chest.

All of Harry's anger, jealousy evaporated when he saw draco. Didn't he Always swore to be the best friend he could ever be?!

Without much thinking harry went and sat down next to him.

" I mean I am no one to say but if he's already fighting do you think he's the one for you ?" Harry asked as he side glanced draco.

Draco inhaled sharply leaning his head over Harry's shoulder before speaking up " I don't know. I like him harry but I - I can't date knowing I'm dating Someone you absolutely loathe and it's not because of how he's an asshole or anything but because he treats you like shit-"

" draco- wait- stop, you can't not date him because of me. If you like him date him " harry egged him on

" but-"

" no. If you like him don't let me be a reason to stop you from dating him. I'll deal with it. So what If I'll only meet you guys twice a month or call his name wrong every single time, I'll deal with it " harry Chuckled. Draco gave a small laugh before he raised his head from Harry's shoulder and looked at him.

" you'll be fine with it ?" Draco asked

Harry wanted to say no, how could he be fine with everything, how could he be fine knowing that he doesn't have draco to call his own even if he didn't know what he felt for him. No, he wasn't fine with seeing him being someone else's boyfriend. He wanted draco to be his boyfriend but he wasn't selfish enough to stop him, he'd never be.

" does he like you ?" Harry only asked

" yeah, I think so " draco raised his eyebrows for emphasis.

" does he want you ?" Harry asked again

" yeah " draco nodded.

" then be with him " harry replied

" harry -"

" look he wants you, just make him happy alright " harry cut him off.

" and what about you ? Does that make you happy?" Draco asked looking into harry's eyes.

Harry heart skipped a beat, his eyes travelling from his eyes to his lips and then again to his eyes and he whispered " yes. I'll be happy if he makes you happy "

Draco brushed a strand behind Harry's ear before he rested his head against his shoulder again, draco arm encircling around Harry's muscles in comfort.

" what kind of a boyfriend do you think he is ?" Draco asked after a while.

" a shit one compared to me" harry gave a small laugh

" really? And you'd be a good boyfriend ?" Draco asked amused.

" oh yeah for sure " harry nodded before he laughed it out with draco.

It took them moments to calm down and draco snuggled closer to harry and looked at him through his shoulder.

" if you were my boyfriend, how would you be ?" Draco whispered.

Harry swallowed not Daring to look at draco, his thoughts running wild with everything he had thought of until now, how he'd treat him, how he'd like to be treated, how he'd want to wake him up with breakfast in bed and several other things that he had in Denial thought of, but really did.

" I'd be like a friend, only better.. I'd take you on a fancy date every Friday, spend the Saturday at the animal shop because you love animals and have a lazy Sunday because we work too hard all week, and feed you cooked dinner on Sunday nights. We'd do the staying at each other's place for a while, one weekend at yours, one weekend at mine until we move in together and I'll snap at you for leaving your towels over the floor "

They laughed.

" then what ?" Draco bit his lip still watching harry from his neck..

" then " harry breathed roughly as his heart raced Faster and he fumbled with his fingers " then I'll cage you away in a den and make you my prisoner" harry joked away to hide away his feelings but draco didn't laugh and only Stared at him until harry gazed back at draco. It might've been the moment harry had been waiting for, the one where they stared at each other Long and the dissolved in a small kiss but harry remained in his senses even if draco wasn't and cleared his throat looking away.

Draco gulped, shifting away from harry and soon standing up, clearing his throat too " I- I'm go-"

" yeah, you go ahead. They must be looking for you " harry hastily replied as he stood up shrugging his back of his clothes to dust it off.

" yeah. You're joining right ?" Draco awkwardly asked.

" oh yeah- ofcourse I am. I'll be inside in a second " harry nodded his head vigorously .

"great-i- I'll see you then " and with stumbling over his feets draco walked back inside.

Harry released the breath he had been holding on for far too long and finally walked back inside too, wishing the night didn't happen.

Things remained strangely awkward between harry and Draco for a while which included awkward head bobs, nodding at each other randomly, weird hand shakes, and stolen glances which left everybody else confused. Meanwhile draco had began dating theo and harry had tuned into little isolation for his feelings to go away.

And perhaps everything was working fine until the common Saturday night when Harry had friend's over and was getting out of the washroom when he met with draco standing just at the door.

" hi"

" hey" harry replied.

Draco bit his lip while Harry clicked his tongue, waiting for Someone to say at least something first.

" you want to use the washroom ?" Harry finally asked pointing inside.

Draco nodded Before he shook his head " no I'm good " and practically ran away..

Harry shut his eyes for a moment, sighing to himself knowing the Time had come to talk to draco and dreading it all the way too.

Nearly an hour later harry finally decided to talk to draco and made his way to the terrace because he knew he'd be there and so he was, alone this time.

" draco " harry called him before he went and stood next to him..

" am I needed downstairs or-"

" no, I Just" harry breathed turning to draco " I came here to talk to you actually "

" oh " draco awkwardly breathed in before he urged harry to go on.

" nothing happened that night between us right. And it's just- it's getting weird and I was wondering if we could just work on it "

" of course, yeah, I was gonna do the same thing" draco rambled.

" right so " and they both stopped talking waiting for the other one to speak up until they both did simultaneously

" whatever happened-"

" nothing happened-"

" let me, maybe it'd better ?" Harry asked after the dead silence and draco nodded.

" nothing really happened that night.. we were just caught up in the moment and there's obviously no feelings involved so it shouldn't be this awkward right. Besides you're with theo now so " harry pressed his lips in thin losing his vocabulary to further go on.

Sensing harry had come to a stop draco nodded vigorously " of couse, yeah, totally agreed "

" then we're sorted, that's cool " harry raised his shoulders

" definitely " draco nodded.

" good. I'll be going then. I- well I have nothing to do but I should wind up downstairs " harry pressed his lips in thin line, earning no response and finally turning to walk away.

" harry- wait "

" what ?" Harry asked as he turned around to see a restless draco.

" there's" he breathed " there's at least something involved. I don't know what or how or when but it's just there. It's something which only comes sometimes or maybe it was always there but I never really realised but Its there, like I can feel, not with theo of course if you're worried about that, it's you, like that night when nothing happened, on technicality of course nothing happened but something did and i don't know what-"

" I like you too " harry chuckled, interjecting draco's ramble holding his arm.

Draco released a heavy breath before he rested his head against harry's shoulder and waited for his breathing to get back to normal.

" merlin thank you do or I would've flipped out "

" you were already flipping out draco " harry chuckled holding draco by his waist now..

" well, I mean-"

" shush " harry whispered cupping draco's face and pressing their foreheads together.

" all the questions and answer can wait till after this "

"may I ? harry whispered and draco nodded and Harry cupped draco's face and kissed him softly, letting his consciousness subdue in the pleasure and pulling draco closer to him.

It doesn't matter for how Long they kissed or for how less they kissed, they focused on the breathlessness and the need to keep kissing but they did break it away only to kiss again as of their life depended on it, maybe it did, they didn't know but the answers Could've waited for after this and the questions Could've waited for after the answers. It was their moment and the holocaust could've happened, they still wouldn't had broken away from their blissful moment.

300 followers appreciation dialogue Prompt requests open

notice : MASTER LIST 2 IS IN PROGRESS ( out in a few days

I honestly don't like this one. Thank you for bearing with me

Angst prompt requests open

[rogue-durin-16]

FIREWORKS AND STREAMERS

Request: I have been insecure about my curly hair lately and was wondering if you can you write something with one of the weasley twins where the reader is insecure about her curly hair and one of the twins makes her feel better.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Hufflepuff!Reader

Genre: fluff

Tags:

Requested by: @wildcat1434

Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: none

A/N: So like, incoming fluff bc this idea was cute and sometimes I do be needing fluff, that's about it, enjoy <3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The relationship between me and my hair had always been... Bumpy, you could say.

There were periods in which I would find it quite lovely; during those times I would let my curls free, showing them off with a proud demeanor, knowing my hair was unique. Those times began to turn less and less usual since the middle of third year, though they were still there.

However, after the summer prior to my sixth year, those moments had banished; I only wished to hide my hair, and my friends ended up noticing. They told me surely there would be a spell or potion able to change my hair.

As if they had summoned it, the next day in Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall introduced us to what seemed like my salvation; Crinus Muto, an advanced spell that modified the caster's hair with no restrictions.

My best friend advised me against using it, claiming it wouldn't help my insecurity— if only, it would worsen it.

I really wanted to do as she had told me and completely dismiss the spell's existence, but two nights after I had a big mental breakdown about it, caused by the most stupid thing ever.

"Is Weasley staring at you or am I blind?" One of my friends whispered, her eyes trained on the Gryffindor table.

I didn't even bother to look up, not wanting to know whether it was true or not, before responding with a quiet "You're blind."

"I mean, it's hard to tell with two rows of students between us but," She nudged me, urging me to avert my gaze from my dinner and redirect it to Fred. "it kinda looks like he's... staring."

Curiosity killed the cat, I guess. My eyes finally left my plate and were, in fact, met with Fred's brown ones. As soon as they met, though, he looked away, pretending to be focused on his food, just like I had been doing seconds ago.

"Of course he's staring." Hannah Abbot, who sat right in front of my friend, commented with her mouth full. "Have you seen your hair?" She swallowed her food, looking me up and down before adding, "No offense, but it's an absolute mess." My eyes opened widely in shock at her bluntness. "You should take care of it, really."

"Has someone ever told you you're an ill-mannered bitch, Hannah?" I heard my friend talking back at the younger girl while I got up and started to make my way out of the Great Hall.

Of course, I didn't see Fred shooting up and attempting to go after me; ultimately he decided to stay in his place, since he saw my friend walking out too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was very aware of all the pair of eyes that had been laid on me the very moment I entered the greenhouse where we would be doing the Herbology tasks.

When I had met my friends at the Hufflepuff common room that morning, I had received divided opinions about my straight hair. At first I had been very convinced that it looked way better than my curly hair, but seeing my friends' reaction, I wasn't that confident about it anymore.

I didn't have time to undo the spell before class, so I decided to go along with it and see how the day unfolded.

I took a deep breath, my eyes trained on the ground as I made my way to an empty seat; maybe there weren't that many people staring, maybe it was just my anxiety.

I finally gathered the courage and looked up, nervously scanning the glasshouse so I could shake off my fears.

There was only a couple of my peers staring, which would have put me at ease, if one of them wasn't Fred Weasley.

On top of it, of course, he wasn't even trying to be subtle, it was almost as if he wanted me to notice his judging eyes; I could feel his gaze on me for the entire class.

The instant Professor Sprout dismissed us, I shoved everything in my bag and left the greenhouse, thanking a couple of Gryffindors who complimented my hair on my way out.

Again, I didn't notice Fred leaving the class as soon as he could to run after me.

I threw my bag against a tree near the lake shore and, as I fell against it, I heard someone jogging in my direction.

"In a hurry to sit by the lake, Y/l/n?" I followed the tall ginger with my eyes while he circled me and sat down by me. "You alright?"

"I just needed a break from... People." I vaguely explained, focusing on the water instead of on the boy besides me.

"Understandable." He hesitated for a second before adding, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, it's fine." I surprised myself at how calmed and collected I sounded, as if I wasn't chatting with my crush.

"What happened to your hair?" His genuinely curious inquiry took me aback, and I struggled to find something to answer.

"Why?" My heartbeat picked up, anxiety inundating me once more. "You don't like it?"

"It looks weird." Fred looked at me up and down with a grimace. "You don't... Look like yourself." I was about to enter fight or flight mode, but he seemed to notice, and panic made its way to his face. "But it doesn't matter what I think," he was quick to add, his eyes wide open as if he knew he had said something he should have not. "I mean— I think it shouldn't matter, if you like it, that's great— I mean, you don't need my opinion about that either!"

"Calm down, I understand." I tried to reassure him, before his rambling drove the both of us crazy. "Can I tell you a secret?" He nodded with pursed lips, surely afraid he would fuck up if he spoke again. "I've been very insecure about my hair lately— like, very." I sighed. "My best friend told me not to straighten it, but last night I got a not so nice comment and—"

"So that's why you left?" I nodded, tugging my sleeves. Fred went silent for a moment, and then cleared his throat and scooted closer to me. "I know this won't do much, but I really love your hair. Kinda reminds me of fireworks and streamers." He gestured around his own head, mimicking the fireworks' movement. "Dunno I think is fun and pretty awesome." I raised my brows at him in surprise. "Like you."

"Aw, that's very sweet." He offered me a sheepish smile as I felt my cheeks blushing. "It does a lot, actually." I confessed, fidgeting with my rings. "I guess I kinda needed to hear something positive about my hair."

"Well, whenever you need to hear something positive about your hair," he pointed at himself. "I'm your man." He winked at me and I let out a chuckle. "I can also tell you positive things about you in general, but that has a price."

"And what is it?"

"You'll have to let me buy you a drink at The Three Broomsticks this Saturday." I tried not to let panic slip through my recently eased demeanor; was he asking me on a date? "And give me a kiss after." He wiggled his brows at me and my face turned red. "the kiss is negotiable."

I casted my gaze down, fixing it on my shoes, not sure of what I was supposed to say at that. His foot tapping mine snapped me out of my thoughts.

"So?" My eyes traveled to him once more, only to find his studying me already. "What do you say, Y/l/n?"

"Well," I shrugged, trying in vain to play nonchalant. "Seems like an affordable price, so it's fine by me."

"I'll pick you up after lunch, yeah?" Before I could agree, he gasped, his eyes going wide. "I'm a genius."

"Come again?" I frowned, confused as his sudden frantic behavior.

"Don't mind me, love." He jumped up and jogged towards the castle, leaving me puzzled in there. I was about to grab a book from my bag when Fred rushed back, crouched down and pecked my cheek. "Your hair's amazing." He assured me. "See you!" My fingertips graced my now flushed cheek as he headed off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was finishing my lunch when two towering redheads entered the Hall running; while George, slowed down, Fred made a beeline to the Hufflepuff table, his casual clothes already on.

"Ready?" He asked breathless.

"Yeah— you didn't have lunch, did you?" I pointed out, getting up to stand in front of him.

"No, but I'll eat something later—" his eyes roamed over my carefully picked outfit before stating, "You look... very pretty."

"Why, thank you." I offered him a smile and looked over my shoulder at the Gryffindor table, where his friends were very attentive to all we did. "You sure you don't wanna eat something?"

"Hundred percent." He tilted his head towards the gates. "shall we?" He prompted to walk before him, and it was then that I realized he had his hands behind his back. Once we were out in the yard, he tugged my hand and made me turn to him. "I made something for you."

"You didn't have to." Was the first thing that came to my mind when I heard his words. Then the wording dawned on me; he didn't get me something, he made me something. "What is it?"

"So, you know that I told you your hair reminded me of fireworks and streamers?" I nodded, not quite knowing where he was going with that. "Well—" he then showed me what his back was hiding; a delicate, tiny firecracker with my name written on the side. "George helped me so I could finish it on time."

"I'm—" at my loss of words, I could only let out a happy laugh. "This is so cute— am I supposed to ignite it?"

"Duh!" I gently pushed his shoulder in response to his teasing. "Do you know how to do it?"

"I've seen you do it plenty of times." I admitted, grabbing the firecracker with one hand and my wand with the other; it looked so pretty, it was a pity I'd have to ruin it.

With a brief firemaking spell, the firecracker set off. Fred pulled me back slightly before it happened, though.

I was in awe at the beautiful fireworks before us, which looked like a color-changing, expanding version of my hair.

When the colors died out, I turned to Fred, whose attention was already on me, awaiting for a reaction. Surely, he was not expecting the kiss he got, but he didn't complain either; while my hands rested on his chest, his traveled to cup my cheeks before I could pull away.

"So you liked it?" He questioned quietly against my lips.

"I loved it." I whispered back with a wide smile. "You're a sweetheart." I pecked his lips before retreating. Holding his hand in mines, I made my way back into the castle. "We're not leaving until you have lunch."

"You are a sweetheart." He responded, following my lead without offering resistance. "By the way, your hair looks gorgeous." The corners of my lips twisted into a bigger smile at the sweet words he spoke only for me to hear as we went back into the Great Hall.

Maybe my hair wasn't that bad after all.

[vasiktomis]

Pomegranate, Chapter 17: Quiet Earth, Part I.

John Seed x Female Deputy

Rating: Explicit.

Read it on Ao3 here!

Notes: Thanks all who have been keeping up with this! I'm so consistently floored by the amount of content creators we have in this fandom corner and the sheer level of workmanship that exists here. This is the first chapter of Pom that I'll be posting to tumblr, and I'm hoping to draw up a little sketch with each update. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them! Big thank you to @shallow-gravy and @consumedkings as always for dealing with my stupidity and being a pair of top-notch angels, and also just like, everybody who takes time out of their day to engage with this? Y'all really sticking with ultra slow burn and I swear after some wicked angst in the next couple of chapters I'll finally be able to throw some well-deserved smut at you. WARNINGS: Forced conversion, descriptions of dissociation and derealisation, explicit language, sexual content, depictions of violence, guns, blood and gore. Canon-typical debauchery.

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“Don’t touch him!”

Mary May lunged with enough force for John to feel the wake of air sweep through him, even with how quickly she was snatched up and yanked back to her place. The soles of her tennis shoes squeaked against the floor as she was dragged to the far side of the room, unable to be trusted with providing audience to Nick’s Atonement.

A shame, really. It was nicer as a shared experience.

The Baptist rolled his jaw, off-setting some of the tension arising from the shrieks that the blonde flung at the back of his head. He righted himself, taking the tattoo gun from one of his faithful with a gracious nod, and turned his attention down to the pilot currently pinned to the floor. Without a word, he sank to his knees, straddling the man, keeping silent as he could just to listen out for any change in his demeanour. Fear. Grief. Defeat. Acceptance. A sign to prove his readiness.

Nick didn't flinch, breathing hard through his nose and watching with hateful eyes. John hovered an indicating hand over the man’s bare chest, bruised from the fight he’d put up against his capture, mentally mapping out placement. Then, he came in with the needle, beginning with the stem of an ’E’, right in the centre of Nick's sternum.

The pilot snorted, masking discomfort with indifference, turning a wince into a scoff. “Figures you don’t use stencils. I ain’t got a hope in hell of this turning out good, do I.”

That casual old Nick attitude. He missed it.

If only he’d let him do this 5 years ago. He wouldn’t have had to miss it.

John feigned offense. “Oh I’m sorry, Nick. Did you want me to do the rest in cursive? Add a feather? Infinity symbol?”

“For fuck’s sake-”

“Talk about tonal dissonance. It’s not meant to be pretty.” He grumbled. “Might’ve gotten a little more practice if you’d-”

A yell from the rear entryway pulled John’s hand away from his canvas. More squeaking. More interruption. Jerome Jeffries getting hauled into the church, held under each arm by the pair of Chosen that John had sent looking for him.

The Baptist cast a look over his shoulder at them, content with the sight of Jerome adequately beaten and bloodied. “Ahh. Pastor. Try to run and hide? It’s no wonder your flock ran astray with a shepherd so quick to leave them to the wolves.”

Jerome ignored him. No reply. No eye contact. A crime John noted to make worthy of capital punishment in the New Eden. The Pastor was set down beside Mary May, who immediately began seeing to his injuries. Murmuring bubbled between them.

“Did you reach them?” The bartender asked. Must’ve been a negative, because the next thing she did was curse.

“The Deputy was calling when they caught me.”

And if she had half the spine to come and broker an agreement for her friends, she’d be inbound.

“Could you at least gag them? I’m trying to concentrate.” John ordered no one in particular, earning another scoff from Nick. “The faster we work, the less we’ll have to get through once she arrives. The quicker we can be out of this heinous town.”

“Stay away from her, shitbag.” The pilot ground out, this time unable to save face when John retaliated, pressing the gun just a little too hard, digging down through an extra few layers of skin.

“Nick Rye, you’re a married man.” John tutted playfully, resuming his work. “That sin of yours again. Take, take, take. Didn’t think the Deputy to be your type. Wouldn’t say you’re hers, either.”

Nick looked downright disgusted at the prospect. Less concerned for the state of his wife - which meant she'd been a likely getaway. “Always been so fuckin’ jealous.”

“Come again?”

“Think folks are stupid? Think I don’t know you?”

“You don't know me, period.” John bit back, skin on the back of his neck flushing between boiling and freezing.

“Anyone else givin’ you this much trouble’d be long dead by now. That shit on the radio? Reckon you’d be talkin’ like that if your family could hear you across the river?” Nick continued, averting his gaze when John shot him a particularly poisonous look. He didn’t, however, find it necessary to respond to such a veiled accusation.

At least until -

“Everybody knows you wanna stick it to her, John-”

As if he’d been awaiting the chance, John’s free hand shot to Nick’s jaw, aching in protest when he squeezed, not stopping until he could feel the man’s molars beneath his flesh. “That’s about enough from you.” He crooned.

John had his desires, yes. He’d accepted that much. Had he not been sworn to celibacy, he might have jumped at the opportunity to respond to Cora’s advances last night. That said, she was still an outsider, and while her Atonement made the prospect less dicey, he couldn’t consciously consider laying with the woman in real life.

No matter how torturous it had become to gear his thoughts toward anything else.

He could be content with just her company, without making any further advances on her. Last night had simply been a moment of weakness, and he’d prevailed by stepping away.

“If you’ll excuse me.” John switched off the little machine once he’d completed his piece and promptly stood to beckon for replacement parts. Mary May might have gotten away with an allergic reaction last time he’d attempted this, but considering he’d be slicing it out of her within the hour, he couldn’t see any reason for her to be complaining. The bartender had been a thorn in his side from the start. While Nick and his wife had once lent John their...whatever a sinner’s closest equivalent was to friendship, Mary May had always been trouble. Wore her heart on her sleeve and trusted no one she hadn’t grown up around. Bolshie. Almost fucking killed him, once.

John busied himself with needle transfers and a pleasant expression. He could feel the woman’s eyes on him.

Did she think what Nick proclaimed? That complete and utter lie?

How fucking crass. No, he did not want to ’stick it’ to Cora. At least, as far as anyone else was concerned. He was fond of her, and - while yes, he had encountered temptation - if one disregarded the cum-stained, stolen panties in his pocket, and the conjured fantasies, and the purely incidental erection he’d maintained after the Deputy stuck her tongue down his throat last night - there was simply no evidence to suggest to anyone else that he was even remotely tempted to break the rules.

Sex was the furthest thing from his mind. It was mere coincidence that today had just so happened to fall on a morning in which he’d needed to trim.

…

If, however, she were to decide that she wanted to continue what she’d attempted last night, then surely he couldn’t be to blame if he only failed to stop her. It wasn’t technically fornication if he didn’t initiate it. Nor was it considered intercourse if -

“Brother John.”

John jumped, heart stopping, whipping his head around to the Chosen standing at the door of the church.

“What?" He asked thickly.

“The Deputy’s arrived.”

Right on cue, the crackling of gunshots drifted in alongside the Chosen’s announcement.

“Tell everyone to hold their fire.” John ordered. “We have them outnumbered tenfold. The Deputy can’t be stupid enough to create a hostage situation. Direct her here, and peacefully.”

The Chosen’s throat bobbed, swallowing back outrage, and John squinted hard at him, trying to dispel the flicker of green light in the mist outside as it settled against the man’s temple.

“John, I don’t think-”

He never got a chance to act on that incoming insubordination.

Instead, he jerked, cut off by a sickening crack as a section of his skull blew out of his head. Red mist and liquified brain matter followed, splattering against the doorframe, and the Chosen slumped lifeless onto the front step.

John wasn’t so much shaken by the killing as he was irritated by everyone else’s apparent refusal to let today go according to plan. Maybe also the pile of brains and hair now sitting on his once-pristine red carpet. He’d made this easy for the woman: kill everyone he could round up, leave her with no one to claim duty to, and get this all over and done with. Have her home by mid-afternoon. Embark on a new chapter and achieve salvation. It was that simple.

Woe to him for trusting in her common sense.

“Fuck’s sake. Wrath begets more wrath.” He muttered, smoothing a hand over his chin. He didn’t have the patience for this any longer. “Fine. Sister -”

A woman stood from the pews as soon as John made eye contact, equally as unshaken by the scene mere feet away.

“Send out word: the Deputy wants to sacrifice her friends for the sake of a fight.” John punctuated the end of his sentence with a click as he returned his focus to jamming the needles into his tattoo gun. “Give her what she wants. Take her by force.”

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The smokescreen was beginning to clear, but despite the weight it was taking off her lungs, Cora would’ve preferred it remain just a little longer. At least until they’d cleared out the town. Had they been quicker, it might have lasted longer. Covered their approach to Fall’s End. Given them more cover to sneak about unseen.

The streets, while still hazy, were visible now. It wasn’t a difficult task watching Peggie silhouettes run from building to building in search of her team. Resistance members and civilians were either in the process of being rounded up, or littered the road and pavement, dead. The Ryes, Mary May, and Pastor Jerome were yet to be seen amongst either group.

Same went for Boomer.

Aside from the barking of orders from Chosen and faithful, there was little sound. Knowing how much of a fuss her dog had put up the last time he’d been caught by the Project struck Cora’s nerves. He was his own alarm, and he would not go peacefully.

Not hearing him was an indication of the worst.

Some part of her brain argued against the idea. Vouching that John wouldn’t have hurt the creature. That was her dog. He had to be an exception to the massacre, no matter how vicious he behaved.

She had to find him, and creeping through the rear entry of the Spread Eagle was the first point of call.

Luckily enough, the back door had yet to be boarded up. Peggies who rushed past covered windows hardly stopped to peek inside the place for fear of being tainted by the presence of alcohol. Sneaking in was simple enough, too, at least once Jess had picked the lock.

“I’m going to pretend that door was open.” The Deputy murmured her equivalent to praise, passing into the building.

Grace headed straight in after her, taking a left to search for any sign of Mary May while she took a right toward the stairs.

“You pretend the Cook’s head was already gone when we found him?” Jess whispered.

“Freak accident. You all saw it.”

“First floor’s clear.” Grace announced from the serving hatch in the kitchen, clearly unhappy about it.

“Right.” Cora acknowledged, “I’ll check up top.”

The second story was as dead-quiet as the first. Furniture had been knocked over in the hallway and bedrooms had been raided. None of it indicated anything good, but she still had to know.

Cora pushed open the door to her room, and while she held no expectation of what she’d find, her heart sank anyway.

It was empty.

Boomer was gone.

Only his makeshift collar and a tattered bandana remained atop the rug he’d been snoozing on that morning.

Her dog.

John had either taken him or killed him, just like the rest. He’d do the same to the rest of her team. She should’ve taken the Baptist’s offer before the latter had even become a possibility.

“No sign?” Grace affirmed once the Deputy slipped back down to the first floor. “My guess is either they’re in hiding, or John’s giving them special treatment. If they were dead he’d be parading them.”

Sharky and Hurk exchanged a frown when Cora offered only a nod, notably more meek than usual.

“Was he in there, darlin’?” Adelaide asked, a little too gently not to invite a sting to her eyes.

Cora felt her jaw clench. It was a different breed of nausea, trying to keep her composure under the scrutiny of the rest of the team. She managed to shake her head, and Adelaide’s hand found her shoulder.

“Could still be with the others, yet.” The woman offered.

“So how do we find them?” Jess asked.

Find John Seed, of course.

“Finding them’s one thing. Getting to them might be the harder part.” Cora began. “The smokescreen’s only getting thinner and there’s Peggies everywhere. It's grasslands from here to the hills. No way we can herd everyone across a field on-foot, safely. We’ve got to make sure they stay freed, first.”

“And?” Jess huffed. “We’re gonna kill some Peggies, right?”

The blonde considered that.

“We split up. Search the buildings for anyone who hasn’t been caught yet. Round them up and plant explosives as we go. With enough chaos, maybe we can have a shot at turning the tide in the short term.”

Sharky was practically trembling. “Explosives, like, everywhere?”

“Everywhere. The more damage, the better.” Cora replied. “Adelaide, Xander, pair up. Sharky and Hurk, same with you.”

“And us on range?” Jess grinned, trading a look with Grace who maintained absolute stoicism. “I’m so into that.”

“No.”

…

“Say what?”

“No more ranged attacks. I need you and Grace to head back to the van -”

Jess was advancing on her before she’d even finished her sentence.

“You’re pulling me outta the fight? The fuck gives?” The huntress loomed over the Deputy, incredulous. Cora made an effort to stay put, but Jess’s insistence managed to outweigh her stubbornness, forcing the blonde to compromise by leaning as far back as she could without falling.

“We can’t keep running on short-term wins.” Cora insisted. “We have to put our foot down. No more small assaults. No more hoping John gets demoralised enough that he hands himself over.”

Sharky frowned. “What’re you saying?”

She met his gaze, puffing out her chest, retaking her space. “I’m saying the Henbane Bridge is unmanned right now. If we get word to the County Jail, there’s no roadblock to stop them from helping us win this. John Seed’s throwing everything he can at us. I say we try for the same. I say we end it for good. We’re gonna take back Holland Valley. Today.”

“...You really like that dog, huh.”

“That too.”

Jess looked unconvinced. “So the two of us are running errands while the rest of you are holding the fort? Fucking bullshit.”

“I told you. No more range.” Cora bit back, jabbing a thumb toward Hurk and Sharky. “You’d rather send Boshaws and Drubmans to convince Tracey to send us her best people? No offence.”

“None taken, bitch.” Adelaide grumbled.

Grace exhaled, throwing away momentary hesitation. “We’ll be fast.”

Cora traded a nod with the sniper before looking to Jess once more.

Still unconvinced.

“They have cars with guns on them, remember?”

The corner of Jess’s mouth ticked. Temptation.

Mission accomplished.

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The tacky fucking carpet was the first thing she noticed, creeping along Main Street. Bliss petals had been sprinkled all over the road leading up to the church.

The carpet ended at the door. An invitation if she ever saw one. Boastful. Arrogant.

A pang of dread ached through Cora's bones, holding her in place while she drew her revolver. It could be an ambush. It probably was an ambush, but there was nothing she could feasibly do to avoid it. If the others were in there, then she couldn't wait around any longer.

She had to do this. At least hold out until Jess and Grace returned, with or without help.

She'd been running for long enough. All other options had been exhausted. At least John offered the least awful defeat.

Drawing close to the entrance, the Deputy pointedly avoided examining a dead crow that had been impaled upon the wall. She inhaled, holding the breath in her lungs, steadying her heart rate.

It was only freedom.

She opened the door, immediately training the gun out before her, following its guide into the room.

About a dozen Peggies dotted the space, leaning against walls, lining the pews - all angled at the pulpit, observing Nick on the floor. He stifled a cry while John sliced through the final remaining layers of skin binding the tattoo to his chest, peeling the word 'GREED' out of his flesh. Blood pooled on the floor around them, and the moment John had stepped away, the pilot was descended on with antiseptic and bandages.

The Deputy waited for nausea at the sight to take its course. It never did. She was all but numbed to the sight.

"Deputy, run!"

Mary May's voice cut through the silence, and the bartender lurched from her own spot on the ground. Guns raised all around the room, swinging around to aim for Cora.

”Hold!” John barked immediately, unconcerned when the Deputy shifted her aim to him. Instead, he busied himself with washing his sullied hands. “Hold your fire.”

His followers obeyed.

Cora, meanwhile, cocked the revolver in her grip. One foot edged into the room, and she glanced around for the Project’s captives before returning her gaze to John. All on the other side of the room. Pinned. Fuck.

“Hope County Sheriff’s Department.” She announced, staring the Baptist down, ignoring the grin that crept onto his face - like he found it fucking funny. “Weapons on the ground. Step away from the hostages.”

“Hostages?” John snorted. He gestured Pastor Jerome, Mary May, and Nick. “These are guests! This is their Atonement. This is your Atonement.”

“Drop the fucking weapons.”

John’s patience thinned. Quickly. “I’m not doing this with you.” He replied simply. “Not today.”

With his own look around the room, John inclined his head. An unspoken order to which everyone carrying a gun turned them on her allies.

“We both know you don’t have enough bullets for everyone. Nor do you have the time. So why don’t you put down my gun and surrender.”

“Don’t-” Mary May was cut off with the tap of steel against her temple. Warning.

John was right. She was outnumbered. There was no chance of getting any of them out with force alone.

She inhaled. Exhaled. Watched the fondness slip back onto John’s face like it had never left, and set the gun on the floor.

“That’s my girl.” John murmured. Then, he motioned. “Get her ready.”

Cora’s stomach dropped as two sets of arms coiled around hers, each pulling and pushing, prickling at her skin with unfamiliar, sickening touch. Biology told her to resist. Escape the sensation. The downward pulling.

“No, stop it.” Escaped her while she squirmed. “Get off. Stop touching me-”

“Her friends can’t be far. Find them.” The Baptist ordered, turning away toward the pulpit.

Cora’s knees hit the floor. There was no holding the repetition of protests, but even as she consciously elevated the volume of her voice, it grew quieter in her ears. Calculated attempts to jerk away and make an escape became automatic twitches.

One of John’s followers - a female - crept into view, fingers tugging at the top button on her uniform collar. John readied a tattoo gun over the woman’s shoulder, and the Deputy’s mind screamed alarm bells. Get out. Escape. Fight back. Regain control.

“I won’t hurt you, sister.”

This time, she sank, curling forward, angling herself away from the woman. Another attempt, and she wrenched away again, snarling. Then, the Peggies around her must have gotten tired of all the fuss, because the tear of cotton clawed at her ears. Ringing through her brain.

Her back felt cold all of a sudden.

Green material slipped down her arms, and at the sight of her own uniform pooling in shreds in her own lap, Cora ceased her thrashing. The shredded shirt was yanked from her belt and tossed aside, and she watched with growing resignation while John turned back around.

His gaze found hers. Then flickered downward, first to the compression bra, then a margin to the right. “Here I thought you’d be unmarked.” He commented, inspecting what was visible of the old ink on her lower ribs while he approached.

Hands pressed against Cora’s shoulders, and she drifted back until her shoulder blades hit the floor.

John continued to loom until he stood directly over her. He sank to his knees, expression softening with his descent until he was on all fours on top of her. He looked almost adoring, and she hated how it comforted her, just slightly. She hated how the hands had disappeared from her limbs, and yet she still made no further attempt to escape. He had every ounce of power now.

She didn’t know she’d started trembling until his free hand swept over her collarbones, mapping out her chest, calming the gooseflesh beading on her from the chill, or the fright, or perhaps just that this whole thing felt so humiliatingly exposing.

A blush swelled over John’s throat, maybe indicating some straying line of thought. He snapped out of it and settled to sit on her hips. “This looks familiar, doesn’t it?” He teased, hovering the tattoo gun right over the centre of her sternum.

“Dont.” Was all she could manage. Weak. Pleading. “I don’t want you to.”

“You have no idea how good you’re going to feel after this.” John cooed.

One of his fingers drifted along her jaw. An attempt at comforting her, but to no avail. He looked equal parts gentle and feral with excitement.

The machine buzzed, lowering pitch when the needles finally pressed into her flesh.

This was it.

She’d lost. There was no going back, anymore. No more normal, no more ridding herself of this family. They’d taken everything, and now they were claiming ownership over her, too.

The others were being hunted. It was only a matter of time. John was working too quickly. They’d be gone before the Cougars even crossed the river.

Cora’s nerves muted. Sound closed to just the rumble of blood in her ears. She receded into herself. Found a backseat in her mind, away from the sensory overload and the humiliation and her own failure while her body quietly continued: ”Dont, don’t, stop.”

She’d lost, and John wouldn’t stop. Not while he was branding the evidence of his victory into her flesh.

Defeat tasted worse than anticipated.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Bullets whizzed overhead while Sharky and Hurk took cover beneath the window, watching helplessly as the aisle of potato chips and bar nuts was torn to shreds by the onslaught. Dorito dust filled the shop like mustard gas.

“Cuz, I think they found us!” Hurk barked, snapping an arm over his head in defence when a stray round ricocheted off the front counter.

“What gives you that impression?” Sharky hit back, hurriedly setting down his shotgun and shrugging his backpack to the floor.

“How many are there?”

“How about you check?”

“How about you check?”

A moment of quiet occurred while the cousins glared at each other, leaving their standoff to a battle of no blinking. Then the Peggies outside must’ve finished re-loading, because the back wall of the shop was suddenly being shot into swiss cheese.

They were okay. Everything was cool. Addie and Xander had taken their share of explosives and gone the quiet route. Grace and Jess were gone. Shorty had disappeared into the church, and while he couldn't count the best, Sharky was pretty confident that John had caught her.

Could they have kept on looking for survivors and breaking out captives? Sure - but why do that when they could kill, like 40 birds with one stone and beeline for the gas station? It was conveniently across the road from the church, empty of any and all life barring the dormant tanks underground. An explosion that big was sure to fuck up like a good portion of Main Street. Not even the Chosen would be able to resist checking it out.

Disconnecting the safety switches had been easy. He’d been arrested for doing it like 5 times already. Cops, Peggies; it didn’t matter - Sharky knew what he was doing, and without the giant swinging dick of the law hanging over him, the man was on a mission. Cultists shooting at him was fine. He was used to that.

Threat of death or no, he wasn’t giving up the chance to see this place blow sky high.

“We’ll be outta here any second, Hurky.” Sharky assured. “Just gotta sprinkle a little C-4 around the place and we’ll be gone before it even goes off.”

Hurk was sweating. A lot. He was accustomed to being shot at, but normally, he had more than just Sharky to get him out of a tight spot. “Alright, bro. Gimme some. Many hands and what have you.”

“Fuck yeah. First step, toss some at the tanker outside. We wanna get the place as fiery as possible up here to wake up the big boys underground, and-”

Sharky stopped in his tracks, eyeing the backpack he’d just been in the process of unzipping.

“-uhh.”

“Uhh?”

“Hurky, can I be real with you?”

“Is now the best time for a deep and meaningful?” Hurk hissed, crawling toward him nonetheless.

The arsonist stuck his hand down the pack, rifling through fluff and mesh. “I, uh, I think I brought the wrong bag. And by think I mean know without a shadow of a doubt.”

Hurk watched as his cousin tugged the green, furry headpiece of a dragon out into the open.

“You brought-...”

“I brought my fursuit.”

“Not the C-4?”

“Not the C-4.”

“Okay, bro. That's fine. I'm not mad. Human error. Not even a little bit?”

Sharky checked again, just for good measure. “Nope...so, uhm...you got a match?”

Hurk ran a hank through his hair. “Not to poo poo your ideas, but that probably ain’t the best move.”

So just like that, they were fucked.

Jess and Grace still hadn’t come back. The others were nowhere to be seen. Shorty was holed up in that church, and he and Hurk were about to be rounded up by born-again virgins.

Shit, if that were the case -

“Well, if this is gonna be the last opportunity.” Sharky grunted, tugging the suit out and unzipping the back. “May as well enjoy our last minutes of freedom, huh?”

Hurk took the cue, creeping across the destroyed shop floor and reaching for a popped bag of pretzels. He sat back against the wall, leaning against the rocket launcher he’d propped up against the corner.

“Man.” The brunette sighed, staring at the floor. “If only we had some other kind of ranged, explosive device.”

“No shit.” Sharky agreed. “Some high velocity shit would fix this.”

They exchanged a sympathetic look once the arsonist had zipped himself up and crept over and sit beside his cousin, both leaning on either side of the RPG.

Hurk held out the bag.

“Pretzel?”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Was that so bad?” John asked, placing the tattoo gun aside and framing the Deputy’s marked chest. ’WRATH', in true black, beading with blood. The skin surrounding the text was mottled and inflamed. Excess ink covered the area in patches, gathering in the dip of her cleavage, disappearing beneath her sports bra.

All that sin, already leaking out through the exit he’d made for her.

Gorgeous.

Cora didn’t respond. That was fine. Shock was normal. She’d thank him once this was all over. For now, she just trembled, lock jawed, dissociated gaze searching what John had thought was him until he sat up. No, instead she was watching the ceiling.

John flashed a smile, blocking out a tiny streak of dread at the sight of the woman so vacant. Sweeping a lock of stained hair over her shoulder, he smoothed his fingers past her neck, attempting to gently angle her focus back to him. “Hey. You can come back now. We’re all done.”

You're finally on the other side. React to it. React to me. Look at me-

The boom came first, hollow and deep, and John felt the floor beneath him rumble. Chandeliers and decorations wobbled from the disturbance. Several of his followers shot from their seats, immediately abandoning the Resistance leaders they’d guarded in favour of pacing back and forth, trying to get a look at whatever was happening outside.

“Is this it?”

“Is it the Collapse?”

“It’s time?”

“John, is it the Collapse?”

The panic escalated quickly, forcing the Baptist to break his attention away from the empty woman below him and rein in the flock.

“Calm down.” He exclaimed, “It’s not the Collapse. It’s probably just-”

Another boom. Almost deafeningly loud.

This time, the whole church shook. Windows shattered in their creaking panes and smashed to the floor while pews squealed heavily in protest.

Contrary to his assertion, John dove down, covering the Deputy with his body. Holy shit, was it the Collapse?

The tremor must have been enough to snap Cora out of her trance, because a muffled “Get your tits out of my face.” buzzed against John’s chest.

Tragically, however, the Baptist never got the opportunity to reply to her. Had it not been for the fucking tennis shoe colliding with the side of his skull, he imagined he’d have something very clever to say. Alas, pain shot through his head and he jerked to the side, fighting against the blow to stay put. A snarl from Mary May, his apparent attacker, sounded in retaliation. She dove into him, knee driving into his ribs, throwing him off of the Deputy.

His thoughts left him for the briefest moment, overtaken by ensuing gunshots and shouts and the shrieks of the bartender as she was clawed away from him. Her hand shot forward right as she was yanked up, intended as a punch. It didn’t land, and John couldn’t help but shoot her a smirk for her failure.

“Deputy, gun!”

Nevermind. It wasn’t a punch after all. Mary May had been pointing over his shoulder at the revolver that had been surrendered on the floor. His revolver. The same one Cora was now scrambling toward.

No.

John lurched, heart leaping into his throat.

Not now. Not after he’d won. Not when they were so close.

His hand found the leg of Cora’s pants, wrenching, pulling her away from the weapon, and she kicked against him. Her finger tips slid against the barrel of the revolver, tugging it into her palm.

God wouldn’t fucking undo his victory.

John snarled, catching the Deputy’s wrist when she tried to aim - at him no less. Without her own recovery time achieved, he was able to wrestle the weapon from her easily enough, flattening her struggling body beneath his just long enough to hook an arm around her waist. He twisted around, holding the woman’s back against his belly. Her squirming ceased with the press of the muzzle against her head, and the moment her allies had taken notice of the change, everything went still.

Finally.

A little civility.

Several of John’s followers lay on the floor, either dead or close to it. Only a half-dozen remained, though the pair of Chosen had survived and placed themselves closest to their leader.

Pastor Jerome had procured a handgun from within his own bible - something that pulled a breathless laugh out of John as he surveyed the others. Nick hadn’t been able to arm himself, but he’d still tackled one of the faithful to the ground. His knuckles were bloodied. A familiar sight. Mary May had wrestled a gun of her own away from the woman who’d seized her. She aimed it shakily at John.

Armed but outnumbered, outgunned, and now, they were in check.

They never learned, did they?

“The way you people behave, you’d think salvation was a bad thing.” John tittered. “Right. Now, let’s try this again. Atonement, or damnation.” To punctuate his meaning, he tapped the muzzle against Cora’s head. She grunted in protest, and he ignored her. Of course it was a bluff. No one else knew that but him, though. It was too risky a move for the Resistance to let him do away with the one person that banded their factions.

She was their leader. They couldn’t lose her.

John looked around the room once more, locking eyes with Jerome first - then Mary May. “Are we going to behave?”

The answer was immediate and clear: a gunshot cracking through the Baptist’s ears and the flash of a blast spilling from Mary May’s weapon. Cora’s elbow driving into his stomach and the reaction time of his Chosen snapping to attention, covering him, already hauling John out of the church and onto the street.

Fuck no, he wasn't leaving without his prize.

"GRAB HER!" John howled, struggling against the attempts to get him to safety. "Leave the rest!"

It was a reluctant effort, but the Deputy was yanked along as well, shoved into Johns arms on his repeated orders, with me, with me.

“Mary May, what the fuck!” The Deputy roared over her shoulder.

“Sorry Deputy! I missed!”

Missed?

“You sure about that? Jesus fucking Christ!”

More shots sounded, but only the noise pursued them from the building. It wasn’t until John had shoved Cora into the back of the waiting truck that he realised how warm his hand had gotten. Wet, too.

“Get to the ranch!” One of the Chosen snarled up front, casting a look back at the Baptist while the vehicle took off, watching as he peeled away from the blonde to inspect himself.

Blood.

He was bleeding. But where from? Barring the sting of his scabs and that kick to the head, nothing hurt. There were no wounds hiding under his sleeves or -

A hiss sounded from the Deputy beside him, curling in on herself.

Shit.

She hadn’t elbowed him.

“Cora-” John scrambled for her. "Cora, let me see."

“Told you not to call me that.” The Deputy grit out, kicking at him until she’d well and truly jammed herself into the corner of the seat and the car door. Her left hand gripped her right forearm, just below the elbow and to no avail. Crimson coated the skin on her side, encasing her arm completely and seeping through her fingertips.

She was bleeding. Not heavily, but steadily.

”Deputy.” John bit back, advancing. “You’re hurt. Let me help-”

Just like that, the kicking resumed. “Don’t touch me-DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME-”

“For once in your fucking life, just relax!”

Only incomprehensible snarling came in response.

John rolled his jaw, brimming with as much irritation as he was adrenaline. The Resistance had made their choice. Regretful, but final. He’d gotten what he came for, and he wasn’t intending on losing her just because she was too stubborn to accept help.

He glanced at the revolver still in his grip. Then back at Cora, rotating the grip toward her. A threat. “Are you going to let me help, or am I going to have to calm you down?”

“Don’t you dare.” Her words came hoarse. She gave scowling a red hot go, but without the rationale to deny him, the Deputy lacked conviction. She exhaled. “Fuck it. We've done this enough already. You get ten minutes. Then you’re under arrest.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Her cheek twitched. A weak chuckle. The slightest flash of acknowledgement as she let him press his weight over her forearm. Thankfully, the wound wasn’t pulsing; nor was there a puncture wound. A gouged strip had been carved into her flesh where the bullet had grazed, but nothing vital seemed to have been struck.

“That - you can keep saying.”

"You're a flirt when you're in shock, Deputy." Had John not been too busy regulating about a dozen other emotions, he might have flushed at her words. For a moment, he just sat there, basking in the borderline friendliness on her face. Then, it occurred to him that they were among watchful company, and he cleared his throat, returning to his task.

Minutes passed. No more words were exchanged. Not until they’d passed the Rye and Son’s sign.

The Chosen in the front passenger’s seat looked over his shoulder, dismissing another over the radio before regarding the Baptist. “The Resistance isn’t making ground. The faithful are still rounding up stragglers, and we’ve taken casualties, but numbers are looking strong. Medic will meet you at the ranch, John. We can deliver our newest sister to the Gate while you recover.”

John inclined his head. “Much obliged. We need this one to stay with us until she’s completed her vows. She can’t be trusted unsupervised, but I won’t put the responsibility of containing her back on our people again.” He looked to Cora, then. Her face had run pale and she’d gone clammy, but she remained upright. Just...woozy. Pacified, for now.

He’d got what he came for. Fuck the rest.

“I have something to say.” The blonde announced, swaying against John’s arm. “I know why Mary May shot me.”

“This another one of your jokes?” John deadpanned.

“This one’s funny, I swear.”

“...go on, then.”

“It’s because I never tip.”

For a moment, Cora looked very satisfied with herself. Then, she retched, slumping forward into the Baptist’s lap when he instinctually jolted out of the potential line of fire. He hurried to steady her, keeping tight hold over her wound, and grimaced while the noise escaped her a second time.

Thank God nothing came out; his shoes would’ve been the first to know about it.

The Deputy didn’t sit back up.

That was fine. So long as she wasn’t dead. So long as she wasn’t fighting back.

“It’s all the sin escaping you.” John explained, off-handed, when a complaining grunt sounded below. “Evil being expelled from your body. You’ll feel better soon.”

“Pretty sure it’s my blood pressure, actually. Soon as I’m good again, you’re history.”

When one disregarded the fact that she’d had a gun trained on him earlier - and the blood drying uncomfortably on his clothes - and the persistent pounding of a headache from Mary May’s heel, this was almost pleasant. The quiet roads. The Deputy, all but atoned with her head on his thigh. Not fighting back. Conceding defeat. Peaceful.

He got what he came for.

He’d won.

He was saved.

Passing his thumb over Cora’s ribs, John’s attention was pulled back to the old ink peeking out from beneath the band of her top. Text, blurred and flattened enough to be years old, and too obscured to decipher.

“Thought I’d be your first.” The brunette murmured.

“Jealous?”

Yes.

“Don’t be ridiculous. What’s it say?”

“‘The Mountains Are Calling’.”

A sickening wave of dread passed over the Baptist. The rock forming in his throat, icy and bitter and seizing him against any reply.

The mountains are calling.

Jacob. Joseph. The Trials. Atonement wasn’t the final step. Handing her over to his brothers was the final step.

He got what he came for, but the woman in his arms wasn’t the trophy intended for him.

He was saved. He’d redeemed himself. He’d completed his task and Joseph would permit him beyond the gates. That was all he was supposed to do. That was enough.

That had to be enough.

“‘And I Must Go’.” John completed quietly.

Cora tilted her head a little, not quite looking at him - almost like she was trying not to. “You know John Muir.”

“Not enough to warrant a photo on the bedside table.”

“Shut up.”

There was nothing convincing about the chuckle he offered. He was too busy observing her, studying the side of her face. Committing her to memory as if he hadn’t spent years acquainting himself with every spot and micro-expression.

“Maybe working for you will be bearable.” She murmured, and John’s heart only sank further. "If I don't manage to arrest you."

The mountains are calling.

She still had no idea that all the promises he’d made her had been fabricated. That she wouldn’t be staying. That he’d lied to her.

The mountains were calling. In a few days time, she’d know it. She’d despise him. She’d be taken off his hands and he’d assume his regular duties once again.

He’d saved both of them.

Cora’s thumb absently grazed back and forth on his knee. Ignorant. “Can I ask something?”

It took everything in him not to mirror the action against her skin.

“Of course.”

“Can I start next Monday?”

"What happened to you being such a workaholic?"

"To be honest with you, I'm really fucking tired."

She’d be incredible. Jacob would love her. Joseph would be proud. John had accomplished something near-impossible for his family, and even if the Deputy hated him - even if she forgot him entirely, he was content with the knowledge that he’d have brought her to salvation.

Even if they never saw each other again, he’d know that she’d passed through the gates. That she’d climb to the surface once the world had been scorched clean. She’d rebuild, and marry, and have children, and he’d do the same.

Hopeful anticipation and the agony of longing had never felt so similar before.

“Fine.” John smiled, giving in, sliding his fingers up her arm and coaxing a stray lock of hair out of her face. There were no promises he’d be able to do it again after this. “But on one condition.”

“What?”

“Spend those days with me.”

Cora stirred, angling to peer up at him out of the corner of her eye. She smiled crookedly.

“Deal.”

[boop-le-snoot]

masterpost ☀️ main masterlist ☀️ taglist

previously on...

This chapter is very dialogue heavy. Stephen Strange being a little bit of a dick and Tony being a sweetheart. No warnings here, just plot and worldbuilding. I think Tony is his own warning to be honest... Do we want fun facts before each chapter like before or nah?

Sorcerer Strange stared at me with the heat of a plasma beam after I finished stuttering throughout my story, one accurate eyebrow raised and sharp cheekbones painting him displeased and dangerous in the yellow light of the store lamps. The whole experience shook me more than I would have liked to admit to myself and his mute reaction wasn't helping matters at all.

"Hmph," he finally cleared his throat, taking a step back and casting a thoughtful look over the shelves in the store. "You did all you could. Perhaps, we owe you gratitude," his tone was far kinder than his face. "How long have you been doing... This?" He vaguely gestured with a gloved hand.

"Long enough," I replied without thinking. My stress levels urgently rose above acceptable and the feelings needed to be let out now; Wong's dismissive attitude and Strange's half-assed apology for the attitude was still fresh in my mind.

The sorcerer sighed, briefly touching the bridge of his nose. "I won't pretend to understand the reason for your hostility but I'd like to remind you we're on the same side here," his steely blue eyes attempted to peer into my soul.

"There are no sides here," whatever he was selling, I wasn't buying it. "There are just people who get hurt, either because of unstable maniacs with superpowers or aliens who think Earth is an all-you-can-kill buffet," I stuck my dirty, bloody hands in my pockets. "You do your part in mitigating the damage, I do mine. That's all there is."

"And you would be making my job expotentionally harder if you get in the way and slow down professionals, even if you mean well," the man's temper had, evidently, won over and he immediately got on the defensive, crossing his arms and trying to glare me down.

Odette's words rang true, starting a storm of hollow anger in the pit of my skull. "Now listen here, you privileged prick," the damn burst at the seams as I squared up to give him a piece of my mind. "You and your Hogwarts rejects and the merry band of billionaires may have the opportunity to 24/7 healthcare and near-instant compensation for any damages the villain of the week decides to bestow upon your shallow little heads," I advanced half a step towards Strange, hands bailed into tight fists, internally rejoicing at the way he leaned back. My blood sang with adrenaline as I breathed the exhilaration.

"But how many people do you overlook? How many children never make it because your super secret organisation gives their parents an ultimatum just because they are different? This is a safe space for the ones you pretend not to see until it's convenient and it will stay that way, over my fucking dead body, if need be," I stared at the tall man, almost physically feeling his brain halt and pause with the cartoony sound of screeching tires. Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't this.

A pregnant pause hung in the air, both of us waiting for the other to explode.

"Don't you think I am aware," Strange finally seethed through gritted teeth, alarming golden sparks shining in his eyes. "The Avengers are not under the rule of SHIELD and I, personally, have no affiliation with either. I do not condone their barbaric methods," the man was struggling to form his sentences properly but even despite that, I understood his ideas.

I desperately wanted to believe his words to be true, I really did, but... "Then do your fucking job and let me do mine. I do not go out there and intervene, I merely clean up the mess you all leave. Something that nobody wants to do do, so unless you've got any takers, I'll keep helping those you deem unfit," in a fit of muted rage, I flew my arm to point at the abandoned cars and destroyed concrete outside of the window, the empty street and the clouds of dust rising into the moody skies.

The entrance door flew open suddenly, with a force strong enough to bang the heavy, old handle against something outside, letting in the stuffy air inside the bodega. Strange jumped at the sound of the screaming hinges, my own heart skipping a beat from the startling interruption.

Visibly composing himself, the man pierced me with a final stare before starting a dangerously quiet, "Very well, goodbye," and hightailing it out of Odette's before disappearing in a golden circle just outside the front porch.

I let my shoulders sag for a brief moment of respite, feeling the tension bleed out of me and penetrate every nook and cranny in the room. My protection charms were mostly destroyed, silver dull, glass and amber crackled. Tossing them into the appropriate recycling bin, I set to clean up the shop, flying through the motions in record time and wandering home through the damaged streets on autopilot.

My anger had cost me more than a fortune in my past but no matter how much I sought to reason with myself, I couldn't bring it to justify Strange's attitude towards my choices. The more I thought about it, the less rational my guesses became; I forced myself to stop thinking about it when my brain had unhelpfully supplied an absurd notion of him being jealous of my lifestyle: he knew next to nothing of my skills and his opinion was based solely on seeing me work the store front and one cleansing spell I'd performed on Bucky. There was simply no rational explanation for his behaviour.

NYC life wasn't affected by the battle in the slightest, it seemed; a day and a half later, I was back at Jeremy's, serving overpriced hot beverages to the rich and the busy. I'd slept on the Bucky and Strange situation, got a handle on my feelings and decided to simply put it away. There were other, more pressing things to worry about than a couple of men.

I didn't expect the flood of anxiety that turned my hands to lead upon seeing Tony Stark's signature suit-and-sunglasses wearing ass waltz into the café. He flashed me his usual easy grin but didn't remove his glasses, eyes eerily blank behind them, as he motioned for his usual order before leaning on the countertop with the entirety of his upper body. "So, Starshine, what is it exactly that you do?" Came the question I was dreading. "Are you, like, a witch? The broomstick and cauldron kind?"

"Mr. Stark, I am serving you coffee and a muffin as we speak," I replied curtly, raising an eyebrow.

"Drop the act, honeybuns. I thought we were friends," if I squinted, I could see that he was genuinely hurt by my lack of desire to communicate. Or, perhaps, he simply was unused to not satisfying his curiosities immediately.

Either way, I stood no chance against Stark patented puppy eyes. "I clock out at two," a sigh of epic magnitude left my mouth against my will. "You can interrogate me then. Until that, it's lattes and cheesecakes only."

Tony narrowed his eyes, smile warming up by a smidgen. "Interrogate you? Never," he pocketed the napkin with Dr. Banner's scribbles the doc had forgotten last time. "I'm merely curious." Another flash of his teeth and he was gone, taking what little peace I had left along with him.

The hands on the clock made their hurried rounds over and over. My chest had grown it's own set of ticking, grinding, mismatched gears as the endless possibilities coursed a steady stream through my head. Tony Stark was a wild card, his struggles with authority a widely known fact, as frequent as his strange habits in just about anything. And while I doubted I would get ambushed and locked up, I had no qualms of him berating me for telling off his boyfriend. He seemed like the possessive, overprotective type, anyways.

As soon as I exited the café, surrounded by the smells of flour and coffee grounds, my eyes immediately landed on the shiny, brand new Audi illegally parked right in front of the establishment, it's owner leisurely leaning against the hood with a face of contented boredom as passerby pedestrians shamelessly ogled him and his ride. His face lit up as he noticed me, immediately rushing to hold the passenger side door open for my comfort. "M'lady," the dorky remark didn't fail to summon a smile to my face even if it was a weak shadow of my usual camaraderie.

"Mr. Stark," I greeted him as soon as he peeled off the crowded sidewalk.

The lack of joy on my face didn't go unnoticed by him and every now and then, he snuck a glance at my face. "Relax, Starshine, I won't bite."

"Well," I mumbled, remembering the vicious way I had torn into his boyfriend. "Good to know."

Seeing as that didn't do much for my nerves, he suddenly swerved right, rushing into a busy intersection with the ease of a practiced manic driver. "I'm feeling like a cheeseburger," he announced unceremoniously, pulling into a parking lot of some place I never noticed.

I doubted that I could swallow anything at all but relented, sitting down opposite him in the furthest booth from the entrance. I ordered the biggest milkshake they had as Tony grinned big at the waitress, finally taking off his sunglasses when she left for the kitchen.

I rested my elbows on the table under the scrutiny of his gaze. He kept quiet. I couldn't hold back my curiosity any more. "So?"

His sharp, clever brown eyes captured and held mine for the longest second in my life. I struggled not to break eye contact until he relented, focusing on the shine of my rings instead. "RoboCop almost died from the shit that happened to him," Tony's words were curt. I inhaled sharply, assuming he was talking about Barnes. The engineer's fingers began to fiddle with his glasses. "We couldn't figure out how you helped him. Not the medical, not Banner, not me and and not even Steph," he paused to run a hand through his hair. "Barnes was hit with a poisoned arrow. There were no toxins left in his body, not even a single inflammation marker showed up on the tests." With that, Tony expectantly turned to me.

I chewed on my lip in contemplation. "Magic," I simply answered, figuring Strange had already briefed him about my occupation.

Tony shook his head with a snort. "Magic that the Sorcerer Supreme doesn't recognize or cannot detect?" The question was saved in nature.

Stephen Strange was Sorcerer Supreme and I had pissed him off and remained alive. I couldn't believe my luck, if Odette's stories were anything to go by. Inwardly rejoicing, I nonetheless resigned to answer truthfully. "Because there is nothing to detect, no foreign energy," I tried to phrase it in a way a scientist could understand. "What I use to heal, it is given me by nature and willingly. Think of me as a... Conductor. I merely store the energy short-term and direct it where it is needed."

That sparked a visible interest in Tony. He leaned forward, running my whole form, over and over, with his sharp eyes, searching for something I knew he wouldn't find. "Like... Making a blood transfusion?" It was obvious that he was thinking hard about the subject. "Like a successful organ transplant?"

"Something like that," I agreed amicably, seeing as he was talking at himself rather than engaging in a conversation with me.

"But it doesn't come from nothing, the first law of thermodynamics..." He started off in slight confusion.

"Yes, the total amount of energy remains constant," I interrupted him, making his eyes widen. "It's all around us, Mr. Stark. You cannot see it, and most people even cannot feel it, but mother Earth supports her creations. More than we like to think," the corner of my mouth tilted upward at the memories. Working with Gaia directly was like being briefly submersed in a cocoon of pure, warm sunshine; like being held in mother's arms as a babe. "She is kind and she is merciful, especially to the ones whose suffering is unjust," I let the man mull over my words.

The waitress brought our orders; my throat was parched, I took a few haste gulps of the chocolate milkshake. Tony's burger, however, remained unnoticed and untouched.

"Earth is a sentient organism?"

The question made my eyebrows rise; I coughed slightly, meeting his confused eyes with a smirk. "Mr. Stark, keep your science headcanons to yourself," the banter came easily now that the status quo was established.

He rolled his eyes, fitfully resisting the smile tugging at his mouth. "I'm telling on you to Mean Green," there was no malice behind his words.

I doubted the shy scientist would do much more than stutter out two jumbled questions but let the topic slide in favour of closing up on the issue. "Would you call a wolf sentient? No," I shook my head. "But it is autonomous, it has free will. Think of it like that," I wasn't really up to par on explaining Tony all the ins and outs of my craft. The more I spoke, the more questions danced in his eyes. It was charming but not something I wanted to spend most of my day on.

"I won't pretend to be anything but sceptical but as it is, I happen to be dating a wizard," the engineer finally chortled, making hands for his burger. He made a vague gesture with his fork, expression still not-quite out of the thinking place.

"They say opposites attract," I shrugged.

"Romanoff keeps saying we're two sides of the same coin, so," he non-commitally shrugged in return. "Can't help but wonder what the fuck did you tell him that day. He was seething," Tony raised an eyebrow, tone teasing.

"Oh lord," I briefly palmed my face. "Here comes the shovel talk."

"No, no," a fry landed on the table in front of me. I snatched it right from under Tony's hand. He pouted. "He probably deserved it. I mean, you saved the Terminator and, honestly," he paused. "I heard about one third of his rant and I distinctly remember something about 'girls way over their heads' and whatnot," he did a poor imitation of his boyfriend's deep voice. "Now, I consider myself a feminist so, respectfully, I disagree," he finished with a self-satisfied smirk.

I blanked, trying to process the avalanche of information. "That's a lot to unpack," I acquiesced.

"It means he likes you. I would know," the man had the audacity to wink at me. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was Tony Stark.

"Are you hitting on me for your boyfriend?" I couldn't resist snarking back, briefly catching his eyes as I polished off my milkshake.

Tony looked at me through his thick, long lashes, a picture perfect visage of surprised innocence. "Maybe," his tone a little too south of friendly, the direction of his eyes a bit lower than my face.

The snort escaped me before I could put a stop to it. The banter - it was easy, comforting in this situation where I found myself to be akin a fish out of water. Like I was a slightly socially awkward witch, Tony was a genius engineer and a notorious flirt. He toed the lines of appropriate with practiced gusto and I hadn't had the heart to do anything but indulge in a little bit of harmless fun ever since he first stepped foot in the café, seeing right through his stone cold facade of an alleged womaniser. Call it a hunch, if you will.

Say what you want about Tony Stark but one thing was definite: he was a gentleman. I thoroughly enjoyed my ride home in his expensive, fast, latest model car. As the city streets zoomed by in a flurry of blurred lines and flashing colorful lights, I allowed my mind to finally calm and resume it's usual even wandering pace.

A hand loosely thrown over the steering wheel, Tony quietly hummed along to the music, playing with the hem of his tee whenever it wasn't occupied with driving the car. He looked so peaceful like that.

The sound system played some contemporary rock that blended in with the moderately busy afternoon of the NYC streets, submerging the surroundings in catharsis. Grey everything with the occasional burst of colour from a traffic light; the brief car ride lulled me into a state almost drowsy.

"You with me, Salem?" Tony's voice quietly took me out of my stupor.

I blinked, seeing the front door of my apartment building. "Yeah, yeah, thanks," I didn't resist the big, wide smile of relief and rejoiced upon seeing his face return to his normal expression, sparkling and mischievous. "That's my stop," I motioned lamely.

Something hung in the air, something unsaid. It leaked through the gaps between Tony's smile and his eyes, it filled up the car with something thick and foggy. I was powerless to stop its influence on me; the daze remained just as it was when we zoomed through city streets.

Tony's fingers twitched on the steering wheel as I exited the vehicle, giving him a short wave before he put pedal to the metal, quickly disappearing into the twilight. I watched his tail lights glow red amongst the flat blacks and greys and beiges of my surroundings, blinking away the dryness in my eyes only when the car disappeared from my view completely.

My apartment was just as I'd left it, warm and slightly messy- but a new feeling had crawled up from the very gutter of me, foreign and impending. The walls didn't breathe the comfort I had hoped I would finally find: if anything, none of what I encountered on my rapid beeline towards the couch felt real.

I'd grown accustomed to the comforts of my solitude and routine, to attached to the simplest task of being. Sorting through my dirty laundry had never been a favourable ordeal for me, I'd much rather lived in a relatively wide bubble- rationally, I knew that sooner or later, change had have to come, but there was nothing ever rational about having feelings on one matter or another.

My spirit was trying to tell me big things were coming and I had no choice but to listen and let the currents of fate and happenstance snatch me up and take me whichever way they pleased.

Taglist: @couldntbedamned @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @mostly-marvel-musings @persephonehemingway @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites @xoxabs88xox

[queenofgoats]

Thank You For Being A Friend | Imagine a night out with Dean

Summary: On her first hunt, OC fails all along the line and falls into an emotional down. Now Dean tries to cheer her up and takes her out.

Characters: POV fem!OC x Dean

Word Count: 2.746

Warning: insecurities, alcohol, flirtations and words = just spn

A/N: Hello dears!

I wrote this little FF for the challenge from supernatural-love14. My prompt was: "we probably shouldn't be doing this"

The hardest part was definitely the bar. I miss the old social life so, so much! 

Still, I hope you have as much fun reading here as I do writing.

Have fun! :)

"We probably shouldn't be doing this..." I said slowly. Emphasizing each word.

My eyes rested on the two brothers in front of me.

“That's exactly what I told you. I mean, I'm terribly sorry for what happened, but you know...”

Actually, I wanted to apologize last night, but it turned a bit differently somehow.

None of this would have happened if the Winchesters had listened to me. And if I wouldn't have let them convince me.

“I know.” Sam sighed into his coffee.

His brother, on the other hand, didn't seem quite as guilty: “But it wasn't our idea that you would get drunk this hard and jump right at the next dude’s lips.”

Dean had a point.

It should only be a small drink. After months of isolation in the bunker, I was allowed to join a case for the first time. Do some research in the library, get a taste of civilisation and just come out again in general. Easy thing.

Because back in the bunker I had created a whole new definition of cabin fever. Not something to be proud of to be honest.

The case itself seemed pretty clear and totally easy at first.

Nobody would have expected that the wraith with a faible for “Schoolgirl Report” would work with an incubus. Nobody!

The last-named picked me up later in the bar, where we three had toasted, to get revenge on his dead friend.

It was horribly. Bloody. And I had a new topic for my future therapist.

“I’m really sorry.” I finally mumbled.

I felt terrible. Just because of me, Sam was forced to wear a cast on his arm again.

Now it was me who buried her eyes in the coffee.

"I should have known. That will never happen again. Promise!"

Dean looked up: "How would you have known?"

I winced, caught and hesitantly tried to explain myself.

“Well. Actually it was obvious that I normally wouldn't have a chance with a guy like him...

“Oh come on!” Dean interrupted me despising “Don’t do this the girly way.”

“...but it’s true! Please look at you and then at me. I…”

First I started to give more examples of my low self-confidence, but decided against it.

Nothing honest ever comes around in these talks. You're just trying to make the other feel better.

“Okay, wait. Just forget it. I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. Let’s say it was my fault and won’t happen again. Ever!”

I stopped the subject and did not tolerate any contradictions.

Sam seemed to want to say something, but luckily I put him off with my eyes.

Our breakfast ended in awkward silence.

Less than an hour later, I found myself in my motel room packing up my things. Even if unconsciously, I gave myself more time here than necessary.

The mood between us was strange. Of course, once in a while in the bunker we were bitching at each other, but this situation will set the course for possible further cases. Or living together in general.

Exhausted, I sat down on the edge of the bed and fell back with my arms outstretched.

Thoughtfully, I pale my cheeks and let the air slowly escape.

I sure didn't have too much pride to apologize. Mostly too often rather than too little.

But this was different.

The Winchesters had seen a side of me, that no one else had seen before. The little, vulnerable girl who just wants to be good enough. I hated her.

Not even I confronted her myself. I knew from experience that other people got ther completely wrong. Attention whore and fishing for compliments were nicer reactions.

Oh dear Chuck, I prayed that Sam and Dean would just forget about this and never bring it up again.

At this moment I heard car doors slamming shut outside in the parking lot. That gave me a little nudge and I finally got up.

I put my travel bag under my arm. On the heel I turned around again briefly to make sure that I had really not forgotten anything and finally closed the door.

Sam and Dean stood at the Impala and seemed to be talking about something quite emotional.

They even played Rock-Paper-Scissors.

“Hey boys, are we ready?” I interrupted them from afar. Not that I got anything in my ears that wasn't meant for me. They startled and turned to me.

I almost felt a little transported back to school. Despite the queasy feeling in my stomach, I just ignored it. Stowed my things in the trunk and went to my place in the back seat.

Unfortunately the ride didn't get any better. It wasn't that anyone was mad, but there was definitely something between us. How am I supposed to fix it?

A few hours later we arrived at the bunker late at night.

I literally jumped out of the car and ran down to my room. Did I ever feel so out of place?

Probably not. I couldn’t stand them at the moment and needed to be alone for a few minutes.

Just as I threw my jacket on the bed, there was a knock on the door.

“Yes please?” I sounded more annoyed than actually wanted.

Unusually careful, Dean entered the room and looked at me quite defensive.

“I overreacted, sorry for this.” I sighed. “This was not necessary.”

“Yeah, normally you’re not a drama queen. So it’s okay.”

Dean stepped across the room and sat on the edge of my bed: “That’s why I… or we think you didn’t exaggerate this morning. You really meant it ”

We?! Did they talk about me?

I cleared my throat.

“Oh boy... Embarrassing.” It rang out of me.

Dean continued: “Uhm, I’m sorry too! I really am! That didn’t go well for all of us.”

He stopped and fixed indefinite points in the room. Apparently he was looking for the right words.

“You know. You are here… with us all along. And hey, you are a girl and have needs...”

I didn't know where this was going, but I did not like it.

“Dean. No. Seriously. We won’t have The Talk. I told you, something like this will never happen again and it’s fine. Can we leave it at that, please?”

We couldn’t. He raised his finger and looked deep into my eyes: “No.”

I huffed.

“You deserve to have fun and go out from time to time.”

“Yeah and you remember how it ended?”

“That’s why you are going out with me. I’m not a monster and in case of emergency I’ll protect you.”

I looked at Dean Winchester for quite a while.

In the middle of the room I stood there, arms crossed. Trying to hold back my anger.

“Wow. Really. How heroic.”

He hadn't expected this reaction: “What?”

“First: You do this out of pity. Second: Your pity is not big enough. So you and your brother fought to see who had to take me out.”

Caught!

“Why would you think that?” He asked, playing outraged.

“You can’t fool me, Dean. And I saw you at the parking spot back at the motel. You and Sam played about it. Since you always lose and are here now...”

There was silence.

“Wow.” Dean huffed. “You must think I'm quite a dick now.”

“Not only quite.” I said and immediately smirked slightly. Of course I can’t stay mad.

Slowly I walked to the bed and sat next to him.

“I mean… I know you had the best intentions, but... It’s just… Can you imagine how I feel? Going out, just because someone feels sorry?”

In fact, it made me feel worse than before.

“I didn’t mean to.” Dean apologized. “But I want you to feel better. Nevertheless.”

Right the next evening I stood in front of my mirror and applied some eyeliner. Or rather corrected it.

I haven’t opened my makeup bag in ages. Let alone putting on a simple cover stick.

Jepp, I was quite nervous. Even if Dean and I agreed to go out, but as friends, it scared me a bit.

Just couldn’t tell why.

I was so insecure! Every view of myself made it worse. Was the lipstick too much? Maybe I should change the dress. It was way too short! Phew, and my thighs have seen better days.

These months in the bunker didn't exactly flatter my figure.

Maybe I should cancel this evening.

“Hey, swing down sweet Chariot!” Dean poked his head through the door and tapped his watch. “Hurry up!”

Oh dear Chuck, what have I done? It’s not that I think anything would change in the relationship between Dean and me, but still...

“One minute!” I replied and walked quickly to the door.

His eyes went wide and he formed his lips for a whistle.

“Don’t do it!” I interrupted him. “Let’s go. I need a drink. Urgent.”

Dean just laughed and followed me to the Impala. Noticing he also dressed up.

Not a flannel shirt in sight, just a simple but fine black one.

Apparently Dean tried to take my nervousness away and covered everything with slightly gentleman behavior. First held the car door open for me and then, while I reached for the not existing seatbelt,

he held a small bottle of sparkling wine under my nose.

“It’s going to be a four hour drive. Save it.”

Now he had me. I laughed: “Thank you. You’re the sweetest.”

After we left the streets of Lebanon and I took a few relieving sipps, I asked him where we were actually going.

“Vegas, Baby!” was the answer.

I raised an eyebrow: “Okay I’m in, but Elvis takes me to the altar.”

Dean chuckles. “Alrighty then.”

Of course it was not Vegas, but we ended up in Kansas City. And that meant big city. Like really big. Skyscraper. Waste Gas. Too many people. I missed it so much! All of it.

“Oh Dean, you're making me the happiest girl in the world.”

He laughed: “Oh dear, I hear this pretty often.”

What was the last time I saw a billboard with LED lights?

It took us a while to find a parking space and finally to stand in front of a bar. At first it didn't look like anything. I even tried to remember when I had my last tetanus vaccination.

But when we got inside we stood in a very cozy place. Dark red curtains hung on the walls, while the light provided a pleasant atmosphere.

Dean and I chose one of the dark leather sofas that I'm sure has seen quite a few butts in it’s life.

It was so soft!

Excited, I grabbed the drinks menu from the small table in front of us. I spent so many weeks in the bunker, this trip was just liberating.

“Dean, this is so awesome!” I thanked him again. “Do you already know, what do you want to drink?”

He laughed quietly. “Dunno. Couldn’t look in the menu yet.”

It didn't take long for the two of us to place our orders. Just as the waitress left, I turned to Dean.

“Hey erm…” I cleared my throat. “I know, I've been saying it the whole time, but now again, calmly and seriously: Thank you very much Dean.”

I let my gaze wander around the bar and put the next words in my head. A mildly sigh escaped my lips.

“And I know you are doing this, just because you feel sorry for me.”

I paused and raised my hands defensively: “Which is fine! Really! Oh dear... What I actually want to say is… You are a good friend, Dean.”

Something in Deans face changed and he began to look at me like only his brother normally does.

“Do you really think so? For the last time: I’m here with you, because I want to. No lost bet or anything else.”

He rubbed his face, puffing.

“You just think too much.” He stopped while the waitress brought us our drinks.

He grabbed his glas and raised it: “Promise me one thing. Don’t worry about anything tonight and just… have fun.”

A warm smile laid on his lips.

“Promise.” I agreed and toasted my glass.

Some drinks later I was much more relaxed. I completely forgot that I could laugh heartily.

Not a thought has been wasted on the end of the world. There was only this moment. Like a little safespace.

In front of me was no longer Dean Winchester the hunter, but a good friend.

Someone you like to be around. I felt good.

“Hey you two, can I do something good for you?” The waitress asked very friendly.

Dean waved with his empty glass and ordered another round for us.

Toughfully I looked at him: “We already had a lot of drinks. Don’t you have to drive? Cause I can’t anymore.”  

He looked at me thoughtfully.

“Yeah… you’re right. But I don’t want to go yet.”

Dean paused.

“I like it here.” He said with a smirking face.

I leaned back quite drunk: “However, a normal cola couldn't hurt. Otherwise you have to hold my hair later.”

We decided to take a motel afterwards near the bar.

“...you had to see Sammy's face! He was so pissed!”

Dean told about his poor brother. Siblings were the best and the worst at the same time.

“That’s mean.” I commented. “Hilarious, but mean.”

A lot more drinks later we just fooled around. At first I didn't notice that we were sitting very close together, only when Dean put his hand on my knee.

I looked down confused, but let him do it.

When was the last time something like this happened to me? Way too long! Then I thought about WHO was actually sitting next to me. And winced.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked unexpectedly softly while not moving his hand.

I huffed. Not that I was uncomfortable, it was just... new.

My cheeks literally glowed. Slightly nervous I smiled at him.

“No. Erm wait. Yes. I’m okay. Yeah.”

Accidentally my eyes stuck on his lips. His so perfectly formed lips.

Have they always looked so soft?

I forced myself off Dean's forbidden beautiful lips, only to sink into his eyes.

Now I knew how a moth felt in the face of the moon.

“I am really glad that you are here with me.” His voice was more like a breath.

We both leaned forward a little at the same time. Barely noticeable.

My heart jumps right into my throat. I knew what was about to happen, but my insecurity cut it off.

Why did I fool myself into this situation? Dean Winchester would never. Especially not with me. That’s ridiculous. I’m ridiculous!

Suddenly Dean brushed a lost strand of hair from my face and gently ran his finger down behind the ear until it reached the chin. There he paused.

The skin he touched felt electrified. My goosebumps had goosebumps!

“Don’t think too much. Remember?”, he taught me.

His voice forced me out of my head and back into the bar. Back to his eyes.

I wasn’t able to say anything. So I just nodded.

The hand went back up from the chin. Very slowly. Stroking my cheek and sliding in my hair.

His touches calmed me.

He got to the back of my head, slowly pulled me towards him.

When our lips touched a switch inside me flipped. I was no longer able to think anything up, just let myself go. While his scent settled in my nose and seemed to rise into my head.

The lips were much softer than I could have dreamed of. They tasted a little like whiskey.

My eyes closed all by themselves and my body leaned itself towards. Even my tongue had developed a life of its own and began to ask for entrance very carefully. Just to be met by Deans.

I put my hand on the back of his neck and moved down. Resting at his chest.

All of a sudden I became aware of what I was doing. And with whom.

Against my own will, I broke the kiss and only brought as much distance as necessary between us.

“We probably shouldn't be doing this.” I lied to myself, but not moving my hand from his chest.

Dean sighed heavy: “Would you just stop saying this?”

Barely pronounced the last words, he pulled me into an intense kiss again.

[shydinosaurcreator]

Summary:

Sent back in time, Hadrian Evans (also known as Harry James Potter) tries to find the reason why he was in 1944.

World war II was raging, Grindelwald was starting to attack Britain and Harry finds himself in the middle between the people he thought of as enemies...but you can't judge someone on actions they haven't done yet and most importantly we do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them and sometimes an enemy can become our greatest friend.

•Chapter: 2/?

Here's the first chapter :

•Explicit (in later chapters)

•Pairing: Tom Riddle x Harry Potter

•Warning : Mention of abuse

___________________________________________

POV Tom Marvolo Riddle

 

Tom was surprised to see the reaction he got to his introduction, it was almost as if the boy knew his name already or had at least heard of it. It wasn't like he cared if the other boy liked him or not but he knew that as Perfect he had the responsibility to help students or in general people as he must be a good role model.

Perhaps that was what confused him the most, there wasn’t anyone who didn’t like him at Hogwarts.

He had been as charming as he could be, not that the other boy seemed to know what charming meant...or being polite to strangers.

The way the boy, Hadrian, introduced himself told Tom that he didn’t wish to talk and he would respect that even though he would have to make clear that no one talked to him in such a way.

But he did prefer the silence and Hadrian had said what Tom had wanted the know the whole time, so he dismissed the violent thought of slamming the boy's head against the next wall.

Tom had of course noticed the lack of the other ones Surname and he couldn't help but feel suspicion growing inside his abdomen as he took in the other boys dirty face, he definitely didn't know the boy who suddenly stopped in front of the heavy door.

Tom merely raised his right brow as he watched the other boy turn to him, the hatred in Hadrian's eyes flaming up.

'How curious'

He thought as he scanned the other ones face with an almost boring gaze and he just wanted to ask why they stopped as he felt a harsh tug on his right arm.

It was rather hard for him to not let his fury show through as Hadrian ripped himself out of his grip, making Tom clench his jaw hard but nothing than a barely visible twitch of his right eye showed the short lose of temper, before he decided to follow the boy, who had already scrambled inside the Hospital wing as if Tom would kill him any second.

He sat down on a chair next to the bed the other boy had downright jumped on, after he had not so quietly closed the door, knowing Madam Evelyn would look for the noise and find them. Dismissing the smirk he choose to smile at the green eyed boy in front of him, tapping his fingers lightly on the arm rest of the chair as he waited for Madam Evelyn to come.

Tom had far better things to do than sit next to a rude, injured teenager even though he couldn't help but feel a small amount of curiosity as he watched the other boy through cool brown eyes.

'Just who was this Hadrian?'

_____________________________________

POV Hadrian (Harry) James Potter

Harry tried to not scowl as he felt those brown eyes on his form, moving his attention to the approving mediwitch, who definitely didn't seem to be a familiar from Madam Pomfrey.

He couldn't help but shrink more into the white sheets as she moved closer, his eyes roamed quickly over her.

She seemed to have the same body figure as Madam pomfrey, a little on the heavier side but she wore her hair in a pretty style, wavy strands framing her high cheekbones and Harry couldn't believe how pretty she looked even though she was wearing all grey clothes, with those thick and ugly locking stockings.

His distraction seemed to have been noticed as he heard a quiet intake of breath next to him as if someone tried to not snort and Harry just wanted to turn his head and glare at the Slytherin boy as the Mediwitch let a loud gasp out as she finally looked up from the papers which she has been reading till now.

He could see her grip tightening on the edges which now started to wrinkle under the force of her thin hands and Harry felt sorry for the owner of this medical record.

"What happened?" Her voice was high and loud and Harry had to keep himself from grimacing at her shocked voice as she rushed to his side.

"I found him like that in front of the river and brought him straight up here...he can't talk, probably dehydrated" Riddle's voice was lazed with concern and Harry was positive that if he would take a glance at the other boy he would see a worried face expression.

Merlin knows how Riddle wrapped everyone around his finger without anyone second guessing the Slytherin boys intentions, but not him!

Not Harry, he knew who the other boy was...what the other boy would become and he would do everything possible to change that outcome.

Harry swallowed down the feeling of hatred, knowing it wouldn't help him if he started to snarl or snap at the other boy again, especially not in front of someone else.

The middle aged women in front of him pulled her wand out after she had placed the ruined pages on the small nightstand next to the bed Harry was laying in.

He didn't say anything as the woman started to fuss over him, casting diagnostic charm on him, noting that a feather wrote everything down, everytime something seemed to gleam up on Harry's body.

The boy knew that the women was just doing her job and didn't know that Harry did not like it to get touched by another person but she always seemed to be careful to not as much as brush over his skin without asking permission first and he felt his stiff body relax slightly more into the soft mattress under her carrying behavior, feeling a bit safer than before with the knowledge that she wouldn't touch him out of nowhere.

As his body relaxed he felt that his wand was still in his right hand, white fingers tightly gripping the wood, and he forced himself to let his hand relax around the flexible wood, a nice kind of pain flooding through him, like someone had just pulled a needle out of his skin after days.

His fingers were sore, aching as he slowly flexed them and he decided to let them rest for a while as he placed them on top of his wand again, feeling his limbs grow heavier with each passing second.

His eyes trailed from his wand to his clothes and he wrinkled his nose slightly at the sight of wet dirt and ripped pieces of material, on some spots even blood.

Harry knew he had injures all over his body, he felt the throbbing, aching and piercing pain, he looked bad with the bruises which partly covered his skin and the cutting wounds as well as the few small spots which were lightly burned.

He looked like he had been fighting in a war... well he had but these people around him didn't know that, so he wasn't shooked as he heard the alarming loud inhale from the Mediwitch as she scanned the long parchment with her eyes.

'was it supposed to be so long?' he thought cringing, looking away from the two persons in the suddenly too small feeling room, instead he focussed on the beds which were placed in rows along the way not set along the wall like it had been in his Time.

His brows barely furrowed as he silently counted the beds.

26...

26 beds were standing in this room but something wasn't right.

'why so many?'

The thought appeared so suddenly that he closed his eyes in attempt to think, as much as that was possible with his still pounding head.

He didn't know which year it exactly was , but he knew that Riddle was around the same age as him, which means he had to be in the forties...what did he knew about the 1940's?

'Grindewald!' his eyes immediately snapped open at the thought and he fought a groan as he remembered that in the same time World War II was raging.

'What the hell was he doing here?'

Harry blinked for a few times, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat down again as he watched the women in front of him pull two potions out of a small cabinet, opening them slowly probably in fear to spill something and then holding the first one carefully in front of Harry's mouth.

"You need to drink this, it's a potion which will give your body the missing vitamins and minerals and this potion is against your aching throat, so that you can properly hydrate yourself again"

Her voice was gentle, like she was talking with a small child which wouldn't understand a word she said but he couldn't bring himself to care as he slowly drunk the two potions with her help.

"Will he be alright?"

Harry almost chocked on the second potion but quickly swallowed the last drop of liquid before it could block his respiratory tract, as he heard the calm but deep voice from earlier again.

'How could he have forgotten the other boy?'

Harry clearly was the only one who could hear the horrified tone of his voice he put in his thoughts, he always plaid attention to his surroundings, it was something he quickly learned while being on the run but it seemed that he was so exhausted right now that he has forgotten to pay attention to the people around himself and it scared Harry.

So instead of listening to Riddle repeating his question (As if it would truly concern him), who was by the way 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 sitting next to him on that stupid chair Harry would like to kick away under Riddle's bottom, he watched the woman in front of him start to heal his wounds.

'It seemed like no one actually was going to ask questions'

Harry dismissed that thought as quick as it had appeared, knowing the only reason he wasn't demanded to answer questions was because he would need to rest before the headmaster would (probably) visit him tomorrow.

"You're lucky Mr. Riddle found you" she murmured as she looked up from the paper she had pulled away from the writing feather, a slight smile of proudness tugging on the corners of her lips, as she gazed towards the Slytherin boy.

Harry, who watched the scene with critical gaze had the urge to role his eyes.

He was tired and he just wanted to sleep, still hoping everything was just a bad dream or some trick...maybe Voldemort had put a charm on him? Maybe he wasn't even dead?

He sighed quietly, glad not to be in the spotlight of attention right now, and dismissed the many questions in his mind, he needed to rest not get a even stronger headache.

Which seemed to be impossible with Riddle sitting next to him, smiling charming and acting all humble in front of the mediwitch.

Harry closed his eyes exhausted, listening to the exchange between them, their voices slowly starting to lure him into sleep

His limbs grew heavy and his body sunk more into the soft mattress by each passing second, till his body settled and the pain which has been present in his head slowly disappeared with his mind slipping into a lake of peaceful darkness.

____________________________________

5th September 1944

Harry slowly regained consciousness after hours of sleep.

The sun was shining through the few windows on the stone walls and birds were happily chirping outside.

The very familiar ceiling of the Hospital wing greeted him as he opened his eyes, disorientating and bewildering him in his state of awakening.

Grunting in pain, he shoved his hands down on the mattress to get himself into a sitting position.

He hissed softly at the strain which immediately put his protesting ribs under; maybe he should have remained lying down.

His gaze travelled the length of the hospital wing.

Harry's eyes focused on the calendar which he just noticed next to the metal door where probably the mediwitch rooms were, he narrowed his eyes in attempt to make out the numbers, glasses were pressing against his face and he sighed as he realized he must has slept with them, but his thoughts were quickly dismissed as he gasped in astonishment at reading the date.

It had been real; bloody hell, he was back in the nineteen forties!

Harry let himself slide down on his bed with defeated face expression, his fingers slide lightly over his wand before he let slowly go of it only to grab it again tightly as he heard the squeaking of an opening door.

He yanked his head around, for a second afraid he would snap his own neck by the speed but quickly got distracted by the mediwitch walking out of her rooms, towards him.

Her brows were raised highly, seeming to disappeare in the small hat she was wearing as she let her eyes roam over his body.

"Good morning, Hadrian how are you today?, any pain? soreness? do you need water? Mr.Riddle asked me to tell you that he hopes you'll recover well"

Harry looked stunned at here, his eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights.

How could someone be so talkative in the morning? And how dare Riddle destroy his peaceful morning without even being near!

Not giving him any opportunity to answer the questions or show his distaste on her last sentence, she looked down on the neatly arranged papers in her hand and continued talking.

"Aside from your burned right thigh, your injured left lung and the cuts over your back and chest parts, just like the two broken rips-" she took a deep breath, her eyebrows twitching for a second up before they were pulled together.

He wasn't sure if he should be surprised by the seriousness from his wounds, but he had no time to dwell on them as he got withdraw from his thoughts again by her quiet sigh.

"There are trails of a heavy trauma, signs of starvation and malnutrition...-" she trailed off quietly, seeming taken aback and he couldn't help but tense slightly, not really comfortable with someone saying those things out loud, especially not when he was in such a condition.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut as his heart started to pound furious against his ribs, a shiver running down his body.

He felt utterly humiliated.

He inhaled shakily at the women's next words, like a poisoned hand squeezing itself around his heart making him unable to breath properly.

"-just like signs of abuse over many years"

Her voice was full of pity and he had to force himself to look away from her scrunched up features.

Harry wished he had stopped her, yelled, cried out or had threw something at her...anything but stop the humiliation he felt taking his body in, swallowing every last drop of dignity and making his heart beat so fast he was scared it would jump out of his chest.

'it couldn't be so bad'

Harry argued mentally, taking a deep breath through his nose at the feeling of his throat tightening, blood rushing to his face as he felt her gaze still on him and the need to disappear in the soft white sheets was more present than ever.

He just wanted to be left alone.

"Hadrian?"

'Calm down'

He sighed quietly, taking another deep breath, his shoulder slumping defeated at her concerned voice, and his eyes slowly focused on her worried face expression again.

"Yes?"

His voice was quiet, uneven not fully having shaken off the feeling of panic which had gripped him suddenly.

It felt wrong that she knew what he had been through, she had no right to judge and pity him, she didn't even know him!

He was completely fine!

"Headmaster Dippet will soon arrive, along with an Auror...they need to know what happened, you think you can do that?"

Harry wanted to instinctively yell 'No!' at her careful voice but it probably would be reckoned as rude so he bite hard down on his tongue and forced himself to remain calm, taking a deep breath through his nose he slowly nodded his head, knowing that if he opened his mouth he would start shutting at her.

After that the mediwitch, who goes by the name Madam Evelyn, (she finally introduced herself to him, which hasn't been really pleasant as she had stumbled more over her apologizes than really talk but Harry just smiled slightly at her and told her that it was alright that she had forgotten to introduce herself) had given him a few more potions after his request.

One for the pain and one for his soreness.

He also got a glass of water and a small bowl with fruits and vegetables.

He happily dived into his meal, his stomach growling appreciatively and he felt new energy rushing through his body, feeling already much better after he had eaten everything and drank the last drop of water.

He really wanted to have a clear head when the Headmaster would visit him, especially since there would be an Auror too and Harry knew just how Auror's could get when they didn't get the answers they wanted.