#to be clear: i do want to talk about my WIPs and i really appreciate you asking! because i'm very excited that you want to hear about them!

[jackwolfes]

Hii<33 will you tease us with hints of your current projects?

hello! 👀 due to a number of things happening off-screen for me i would say that i'm currently in "fucking around" mode without a huge number of actual tangible projects going on? like im doing a lot of "open new doc > write down vague idea > add 1,000 odd words > don't finish the project" which. doesn't feel great. but hey ho.

the biggest thing is that i'm doing a merlin big bang and am trying to wrap up the details of that project because i've committed now, except i can't give any details about because it all needs to stay anonymous 😅 either way that'll be out in like, august!

yeah in terms of other fandoms that i have written more stuff more in the past im just sorta,,,, languishing i guess??? like i'm still writing but it's really hard to be excited about WIPs and tell people & have them get excited and then just never finishing anything 🤷

[wileys-russo]

like a dumb rom com (3) II k.cooney-cross x catley!reader

this is many many months overdue but feels good to tick it off my wips and wrap this little series up finally! one two like a dumb rom com (3) II k.cooney-cross x catley!reader

ever since steph walked out after catching you and kyra you'd been on edge. plastering a fake smile on your face you made an effort to show appreciation for all your teammates and friends showing up, avoiding both your sister and your girlfriend like they had some sort of infectious disease.

but if anyone noticed the underlying tension they didn't comment on it, though you felt the looks thrown your way by caitlin every now and then who seemed to stay stuck by stephs side for the rest of the evening.

as well as from kyra who was doing her very best to respect you were in an awkward position, but her hands itched to grab yours in them and she found herself staring longingly at you across the room nearly the entire night.

"okay! training tomorrow girls, think its about time we wrapped this up." it was kim who made the call around ten thirty at night, half of the girls already having left and the rest of you lounged about talking.

you looked up from your conversation with lia and caught your sisters eye, dropping your gaze right away as they burned a hole in your head and everyone all started their goodbyes.

when it came to kyra it was obvious neither of you were sure what to do, awkwardly staring at one another before you went for a hug and kyra stuck her hand out for a fist bump.

you both blushed bright red and mumbled apologies before you grabbed her hand and dragged her outside.

"i'm really sorry about-" you cut off your girlfriends apology with a shake of your head and stole a quick kiss. "don't. its not how i wanted her to find out but she was bound to sooner or later." you sighed with a somewhat sad smile.

with a slight frown kyra poked at the corners of your mouth, turning your lips upward into a proper smile. "dickhead!" you pushed her lightly, pulling her a little more around the corner of the house and out of sight.

"i love you." your hands fell to her cheeks as you brought her in for a proper kiss, the words mumbled right back against your lips before you pulled apart, promising you'd check in later and she hurried off to get a lift with teyah.

"you call me if you need something yeah?" caitlin murmured as she hugged you goodbye next, a short nod all she needed before heading off with katie.

you were hoping to sneak away to your room as steph was busy saying goodbye to jen, but fate wasn't in your favour.

"hey kid." you stopped halfway down the hallway and turned, dean standing a few feet behind with a sympathetic smile. "you know the more you avoid it, the longer it drags out and the worse its going to be." he reminded as you sighed, unable to really argue that fact as you followed after him.

steph had her back to you in the kitchen washing something up with far too much vigor, furiously scrubbing a glass you were surprised hadn't smashed in her hands yet.

you shifted awkwardly on the balls of your feet, wishing the ground would swallow you up as dean cleared his throat, steph pausing to glance briefly over her shoulder as he subtly nodded in your direction.

"you are unbelievable." was all your sister spoke, barely loud enough for you hear as she continued washing up, dean stepping out to the living room to give the pair of you some privacy but still hovering close enough that he could intervene if needed, taking calvin with him.

"pardon?" you scoffed, unsure if you'd heard her correctly as she shook her head, dropping whatever was in her hands back into the sink full of water and whipping around to properly face you.

"i said, you are unbelievable." your sister spoke louder this time, drying her hands on a tea towel and glaring you down. "oh and do tell steph, why exactly is that?" you questioned, crossing your arms over your chest and glaring right back at her.

"this. all of this! you are way too immature to be in a relationship, or whatever you and kyra are." steph rolled her eyes as again you scoffed.

"excuse me? i'm the one being immature right now? and yeah we are in a relationship, kyra is my girlfriend." you confirmed with a snarl, your sisters jaw clenching.

"the hickeys on your neck the other day...that was kyra. kyra was here the night before and you picked her up for training the next day!" steph realised as suddenly then chips started to fall into place. "you lied to me, you told me you came back for that textbook but-" steph accused as you rolled your eyes.

"congratulations sherlock, you figured it out! i came back to cover up my hickey." you clapped with a sarcastic smile which only wound your sister up further. "watch the attitude. you still live under my roof!" steph cautioned making you scoff, of course she'd hold that over you.

"for how long? and why kyra? you're just being stupid!" steph laughed humorlessly as you frowned, hurt flashing briefly across your face but it was almost immediately replaced with anger.

"well lets see. none of your business, none of your business, and how am i being stupid?" you questioned, hands on hips and raising an eyebrow in the older girls direction.

"you're too young to be in a relationship, you need to focus on football and school. and i know kyra well enough that all she's going to be for you is a distraction to both of those!" steph rolled her eyes as you shook your head in disbelief.

"i am twenty one years old steph, you were sleeping around long before that, at least i'm just with one person!" you snarked again as your sisters face glowered and dean appeared again as she started toward you.

"okay girls. its been a big day, its late, i think we all just need the night to cool off and-" he tried to calmly intervene but you weren't finished yet.

"and you don't know kyra at all. either way you do not get to tell me who i get to date or when i get to date them steph! you're my sister, not my mum." you warned seriously, turning on heel and exiting the conversation yourself.

"don't you dare walk away from me! we are not done here." steph scoffed and hurried after you ignoring deans urging she drop it for now, your door slammed in her face and promptly locked causing her to gasp.

"you open this door right now or i swear to god!" steph ordered pounding on it with her fist and jiggling the doorknob with her other hand, mumbling under her breath. "no, fuck off stephanie." you rolled your eyes, quickly shoving some things into a bag hearing your sister gasp again.

"oh just you wait till i-" you didn't give her a chance to hear the end of her sentence, carefully swinging one leg over your open window and shimmying around, dropping to the floor and racing away.

meanwhile steph was rummaging around in the kitchen for the spare key to your door, muttering angrily and waving off deans every attempt to soothe her, even ignoring calvin who bumped his head into her leg with a whine.

"telling me to fuck off? me? she's so-ooh when i get my hands on her." steph mumbled storming back down the hall to your room as both dean and calvin followed cautiously behind, your door popping open and steph rushing inside.

a squeal sounded as she tripped over your shoes, tumbling down to the floor and groaning in pain, dean hurrying to carefully help her up as steph took in your empty room and open window and saw red.

"oh she's dead. grounded. shipped back to melbourne in a crate!" steph growled, attempting to flee and make a beeline for her car keys as dean held her back.

"steph. babe, she clearly doesn't want to do this with you right now. when has she ever run off from a conversation? or even an argument? she obviously needs space and so do you, to calm down." he urged calmly as steph melted into his touch with a deep seeded sigh.

it would have to wait until tomorrow then.

~

only by the time tomorrow had rolled around steph indeed was calm, cool as an ice block one might say, and as frosty as one too.

rather than seek you out for an adult conversation like she'd promised dean, steph decided it was much easier to ice you out, ignoring you all together which didn't take long for you to catch onto.

you'd driven to and spent the night at alessia's thinking if you went to kyras that would be too easy for steph to find you, having sent kyra a quick message and prompty shut your phone off so your sister couldn't call you either.

the older english girl welcomed you in and listened to you rant but then made you promise you'd try to hear steph out today, advising your sister was probably more upset at being kept in the dark about it than she was about you actually seeing kyra.

alessia was of course correct, and that was what had been picking at steph as she stewed over things in bed last night, tossing and turning and barely getting a wink of sleep as suddenly she was overthinking everything.

how long had you been sneaking around? how long was this happening under her nose in her house? how long had you been lying to her? how long was kyra lying to her? why did you feel the need not to tell her? did you not trust her? had she been that bad of a sister? no, this was on you and not on her.

forever with a calm head on her shoulders alessia's words had stuck with you regardless, and you'd shown up to training with an olive branch in the form of a coffee for your sister and a new attitude toward hearing her out.

but when she completely blanked your attempt to even greet her good morning, that resolve died as quickly as it had been born.

"steph." you'd started softly, clearing your throat as lia sent you a warm smile, stopping her conversation with your sister who refused to turn around. "steph?" you tried again, lia and beth both frowning at the girl in question who turned but bent to tie her laces, clearly ignoring you.

"but i'm immature? right." you mumbled, harshly dumping her coffee in the bin as alessia winced, watching you storm off and kyra hurry after you as steph pretended not to notice and ignored her friends attempts to work out what that was all about.

"i would have drank that, just because she got caught does not mean she needs to waste a perfectly good coffee!" vic groaned as alessia shoved her, having filled her in but sworn her to secrecy not wanting to upset you or steph any further.

but steph was hardly subtle in the way she was clearly speaking about you to beth during warm ups, the blondes eyes darting toward you and kyra who'd paired up every few seconds which you hadn't missed.

"jesus!" kyra grunted as you grew tired of the fleeting glances and kicked the ball extra hard without watching, sending it sailing right into your girlfriends stomach who bent over winded with a wheeze.

"shit, i'm so sorry ky!" you hurried to her side with wide eyes, grabbing a water bottle alessia offered and handing it to the brunette who nodded with a grimace of pain, mumbling it was fine in between mouthfuls of water as she caught her breath.

catching the slight smirk on your sisters face at what had happened you shot to your feet, intending to march on over there and slap it off but someone grabbed the collar of your shirt before you could so much as take a step.

"nope, no catley brawl in the middle of training." caitlin shook her head, grip on your top tightening as you struggled to pull away but gave up with a defeated huff.

"kyra, finish warm ups with katie. you, come with me." caitlin ordered, dragging you away as you heard katie already start to tease kyra for the way she stared after you like a lost puppy.

meanwhile the smirk was wiped off stephs face but not in the way you wanted, instead she felt a strange feeling settle in her stomach at the way you'd sought out caitlin and were clearly confiding in her.

exactly the way you'd obviously told her about you and kyra before your own sister.

it was that resentment bubbling beneath the surface that perhaps the older girl should have known well enough to set aside and focus on football instead.

and it was that resentment that caused her to take you down perhaps a little too hard in the cool down game awhile later, the ball already gone from your possession when your sister slid into you, taking your legs out and sending you thumping to the ground.

you wheezed in pain, the wind knocked completely out of you by the unexpected tackle, squeezing your eyes shut and taking short sharp breaths as pain shot through your sides.

you heard some of the girls crowd around to check in, waving them off and grabbing leahs hand who pulled you up into a seated position. "i'm fine i'm fine, just winded." you brushed off the physio who hovered nearby.

"ankle? knee? no pain?" kyra squatted beside you with a concerned frown as you shook your head, the whistles blown to end the mornings session. "promise?" your girlfriend pushed as you nodded and mumbled the word back.

you didn't know if your sister would apologise, but you didn't give her a chance to either way as stina helped you to your feet and you took off inside, leaving both kyra and steph behind you.

~

you frowned as you entered the empty gym, your girlfriend having texted you to meet in here before the afternoon session to help her with something.

"kyra? ky?" you called out, hunting about but finding no sign of the midfielder. "she's so weird." you huffed, turning around to leave and screaming as suddenly there she was stood right behind you.

"gotcha!" the brunette grinned victoriously as you clutched your chest. "not funny cooney-cross." you warned catching your breath, heart pounding a million miles an hour.

"you always tell me i'm too loud, but i think i just proved i can be very very sneaky." kyra wiggled her eyebrows as you rolled your eyes. "is that seriously why you made me cut my lunch break early?" you sighed, unimpressed if a jump scare was all you were going to get out of this.

"no. i need your help stretching out my back before gym, please?" kyra asked hopefully, hands clasped together and slight pout on her lips. "you do realize there is an entire floor of physios who could do that right?" you couldn't help but smile.

"yeah...but i'd rather have your hands on me. i've barely seen you all day!" kyra groaned softly. "well whose fault is that!" you poked her accusingly as she smiled guiltily.

"okay its hard to train with stephs eyes shooting lasers at me every second, and thats when i'm not near you!" kyra admitted as you rolled your eyes but took her hands in yours. "where are we going?" your girlfriend asked as you begin to tug her away.

"somewhere stephs laser eyes can't hurt you." you mocked pouting at her as she huffed and bumped her shoulder into yours. "oh how romantic, you've put us both back in the closet." kyra teased as you pulled her into one of the equipment closets.

"are you going to make jokes or are you going to kiss me?" you asked boldly, raising an eyebrow as kyra made a point to snap her mouth shut and tug you closer, pressing her lips to yours without a seconds hesitation.

"-i said i don't want to talk about it caitlin." steph shut down her national teammate with a sigh, the forward trying to press her to talk about everything sensing bottling it up was only making things worse for the both of you.

"steph. you're hurt and you're upset that she didn't tell you, i understand that really. but so is she and avoiding her isn't going to make that go away, it'll get worse!" caitlin warned as steph hummed, rifling through the small stack of papers for her afternoon program.

"just think it over." caitlin gave in, squeezing her teammates shoulder and grabbing her program steph held out for her without another word, the rest of the team all slowly filing in.

now if you and kyra were maybe a little smarter, you might have kept track of time, or chose a less obvious hiding place for your little 'catch up', more specifically not hid out in the closet where the mats and rollers were kept, the mats and rollers that all the girls needed for their warm ups.

which is why one moment you were whispering something, lips pressed against kyras and soft giggles filling the air, and the next you were flat on your back with kyra laid out beside you, four concerned faces staring down at you.

"i didn't think it needed to be said but new rule, no making out in the equipment closet!" kim warned sternly, both you and kyra's faces blushing bright red as you hurried to your feet and she did the same, both of you drowned in the teasings of your teammates shortly after.

you caught your sisters eye as you grabbed your program, her jaw set and eyes piercing into yours you felt a wave of shame roll over you at her judgement, bowing your head and hurrying as far away from her as you could get.

"harsh." beth stated bluntly, knocking her shoulder into her best friends who blinked and glanced over to her, rolling out her hamstring. "thats unprofessional, she should know better." steph mumbled with a roll of her eyes.

"she's twenty one steph, and she's in loove." beth teased, quickly shut down by the sharp glare sent her way by your sister. "don't. she's an idiot, they both are." steph muttered, moving to roll out her back, watching as you arose from your own matt and followed after lotte to start your program.

"steph, she's a kid. kids make mistakes, should she have told you about the two of them? maybe. and when i say this i mean it with love-" beth started, steph averting her eyes toward the blonde and raising an eyebrow.

"-but doesn't your reaction also maybe explain why she held off?" beth smiled sympathetically as steph only sighed, ignoring the question as beth chose to let her sit with it, quickly changing topics.

and sit with it she did, not surprised when she returned home from training to an empty house despite the fact you'd left before her. though given calvin was nowhere to be found and your training bag was sat at your door, you'd clearly been and gone.

"boo!" steph let out a yell and spun around, hitting her fiance a few times who laughed and shielded himself. "alright alright! cool it karate catley." dean grinned as steph huffed, setting down her bag and shooting him one last glare.

"i see our mood hasn't improved. so you didn't talk to her then?" he asked, taking a seat at the counter as steph sighed, grabbing out a few things to make herself some food. "ugh she always does this!" your sister groaned, moving to take out the empty milk from the fridge.

"just further proves her immaturity." steph mumbled, tossing it away into the recycling and fixing her fiance with a glare as he chuckled. "something funny?" she challenged, the man still grinning.

"you do know its me who does that right?" dean advised as steph frowned.

"what? but she always says-" "once, she covered for me once. and you just assumed from then on that its been her!" "but why would she-" "do you remember when we had that argument? after i'd gone out for...a big night." dean winced at the memory as steph hummed in acknowledgement.

"well i drunkenly ate five bowls of cereal and left the milk empty in the fridge. we argued that next morning, you were angry with me and you grabbed out the milk for your coffee and it was empty and-"

"-and she took the blame so we wouldn't argue even more." steph realised with a sigh, drumming her fingers against the counter top. "bingo." dean clicked, leaning over and apologetically kissing her, promising he would no longer leave the milk there.

"then that same morning she went out and got me a coffee, took calvin for a walk and brought home flowers...which she said were from you." steph narrowed her eyes as her fiance winced and smiled sheepishly.

"what else has she taken the blame for or done for me that you took the credit for?" your sister gasped as dean grinned. "we're getting off track here. does this not maybe prove she's a bit more mature than you give her credit for?" dean pointed out, conveniently switching topics.

"covering for you being a grub hardly proves she's mature enough to balance school, football and a relationship." steph sighed, chopping up some fruit to make a smoothie. "but babe, technically she's already been doing that." dean pushed gently as steph paused, frown creeping into her features.

"has she failed a test?" "no." "handed in an assignment late?" "no." "seemed less sharp at football?" "no." "has she been playing poorly?" "no." "well..."

"yeah alright, i get your point." steph grumbled, pausing to massage her temples where she could feel a headache building. "talk to her steph. she's your sister she loves you, and even if she didn't tell you about her and kyra you know your approval means the world to her, she's always looked up to you." dean encouraged softly, standing and rounding the corner, steph melting into a warm hug.

"it really hurts i was one of the last to find out, i thought we were closer than that." steph mumbled into her fiances shoulder. "you are. maybe she didn't tell you because she was more worried about your reaction than other peoples, because it means more to her than anyone elses." dean offered as steph huffed.

"stop being right would you, its a very annoying switch up."

~

steph sighed and raised her hand, knocking on the door and taking a step back, arms crossed over her chest.

"oh! hi steph!" teyah made a point to say her name louder than needed making the australian chuckle. "you can relax with the warnings teyah, i just want to speak with kyra." steph spoke calmly, the blonde nodding and stepping aside.

"were you hiding behind the door?" steph raised an eyebrow as kyra instantly appeared, cheeks flushed bright red. "maybe." the younger girl mumbled, avoiding her gaze.

"i meant it, i just want to talk kyra." steph promised, the midfielder nodding in understanding as the older girl rolled her eyes. "are you going to let me in or are we going to stand here and chat with your neighbors too?" steph mocked as kyra stepped aside and allowed her in.

teyah caught kyras pleading gaze and made herself scarce, ignoring the girls silent begging not to leave her alone with steph who took a seat on the lounge, watching kyra squirm uncomfortably as the silence grew until she couldn't take it anymore.

"steph i'm so so so sorry we didn't tell you we were just worried about how you'd react and i wanted to leave the decision up to her since you're her family and i also didn't want to mess things up with you as well as her by jumping the gun and telling you first or pressuring her to tell you which hasn't worked because you're mad at me anyway but i really don't want to break up with her because i love her but i also love you but more like a sister even though thats weird because im dating your sister and-" kyra rambled out all in one breath, not pausing even for a second.

"kyra." she however fell silent at the single word, chest heaving slightly. "shut up and breathe." steph instructed as the midfielder exhaled shakily with a nod.

"how long have the two of you been together? don't lie to me." steph asked calmly, though her eyes warned the younger girl off of any dishonesty. "its complicated." kyra shifted with a frown.

"well, uncomplicate it." steph settled backward into the lounge more, crossing one leg over the other. "well we figured out we had feelings for one another awhile before we started dating, but with me in sweden and her in england we never had the time to give it a go-" kyra started with a sigh, steph nodding curtly for her to go on.

"then when the camp for the world cup rolled around and i let her know i'd be leaving sweden and trying to make a move over here, things changed, and we decided to try officially dating a few days before the tournament started." kyra explained, trying her best to untangle a rather twisted timeline.

"so you've been together for nearly six months." steph's voice was emotionless but kyra could see the thoughts swirling through her eyes and grimaced. "a little over five but...yeah." kyra mumbled, fiddling with her hands which sat in her lap.

so far this was easily the most serious conversation the two had ever had, and it was suffocating the younger girl.

"school. university is really important to her, and to me." steph stated, kyra opening and closing her mouth for a moment. "wait here." with that said the midfielder was up and darting off, steph watching her disappear with a confused frown.

though she returned not even a minute later, calendar and a small bag in hand which she promptly dumped in stephs lap, cautiously taking a seat closer to her than she was before.

"whats all this?" steph questioned not any less confused at the items in her lap. "well as we know im not really...an organised person." kyra sighed. "understatement of the century." steph mumbled, eyes raking over the pages in front of her.

"right. well i might not have a calendar for my every day life, my agent handles that." the midfielder blushed as steph rolled her eyes. "but i do have one for your sister. i know school is important to her and i don't want to get in the way of that steph, i promise." her tone softened as she grabbed the bag.

"i have all these coloured stickers and tabs-" she pulled open the drawstring and showed steph the inside who nodded slowly. "well they all mean different things, this is the key-" she pulled out a piece of card from inside the bag and handed it to steph.

"the blue tabs are days she has exams, the orange tabs are days she needs to study, the red tabs are days i can't interrupt her studying, normally a few days before her exams-" kyras finger moved across the key as steph nodded wordlessly.

"the yellow tabs are days where i need to force her to take a break so she doesn't burn out, and those aren't always days she has to spend with me either. the gold stars are days where her assignments are due, the footballs are game days, the kangaroos and international break and the little flowers are days off." kyra flicked through month after month, pointing out each sticker to steph who admittedly was still speechless.

"you can't even remember your boots on game day...but you keep track of her entire schedule?" the older girl eventually questioned, moving the calendar and bag onto the coffee table and turning to face a bright red kyra who shyly nodded.

"i-i love your sister steph. she runs rings around me and she has so much potential and drive and commitment, i don't want to ever hold her back. i know you might not think i'm good enough for her or smart enough or that im too immature or annoying but i really really care about her. she was my best friend before she was my girlfriend, i've always cared and i wouldn't dream of ever hurting her." kyra bounced her knee nervously as she spoke, feeling frightfully vulnerable and out of her comfort zone with this conversation.

"i know you care about her, and this just proves that." steph sighed deeply, nodding to the calendar. "its not that i don't think you're good enough for her kyra, and your intelligence has nothing to do with it. thats my baby sister, no one will ever be good enough for her." steph promised seriously as kyra nodded quickly.

"but it hurts that neither of you felt like you could come and speak with me about this. though you're not the one i need to have that conversation with-" steph exhaled, dragging her hands down her face and suddenly standing.

kyra followed suit, tracking after her back to the front door as steph pulled it open and hovered in the doorway. "i know you care about her kyra, i do. and you're both adults as hard as it is for me to admit that, and as much as you don't often act like one." kyra cracked a tiny smile at that.

"you don't need my permission or my approval, but you do have it-" steph assured softly as kyra breathed a long overdue sigh of relief, though that died in her throat as steph grabbed a fistful of her hoodie and tugged her closer.

"but if you ever and i mean ever hurt her kyra, you will pay for it. i will make your life a living hell and you will never speak to, look at or breathe near her again. got it?" steph warned seriously as kyra nodded hurriedly, the older girl smiling happily at the fear on her face.

"good, i'm glad we had this talk." steph let go, smoothing out her hoodie and squeezing kyra's shoulder with a nod. "see you at training tomorrow." steph turned to leave, kyra's head popping out of the door.

"i can call her to see where-" "no it's okay, i know exactly where she is."

"oh and kyra?" steph turned one final time, catching the younger girls eye. "if i catch the two of you making out in a closet again, i will snap your ankle."

~

sure enough, you were exactly where steph thought you would be.

not far from her house in st albans there was a huge park that you often took calvin to when you wanted to read in the sun, the pair of you would curl up on a blanket and it never ceased to amaze steph just how calm the normally hyperactive pooch became when you needed him to be, dean teasing you were some sort of dog whisperer.

just as your sister thought you were laid down on a blanket, but there wasn't a book in your hands and the very moment calvin laid eyes on his mum he bolted, almost taking your hand off which was wrapped around his lead.

but knowing all too well he only went haywire like this for one person you let go with a sigh, closing your eyes and making no move to acknowledge the older girl when you felt her sit down beside you.

you grunted as calvin laid himself down, head flopping down onto your stomach as his bottom half curled up into steph who'd also laid down on the blanket, an uncomfortably tense silence between the pair of you.

"sorry for the poor tackle today." your sister broke it first, only getting a quiet hum from you in reply as she sighed, thinking carefully about her next words before speaking them.

"why didn't you tell me?" but of course that all went out the window as her curiosity burned forth, clouded by the hurt that came with the reveal.

"you cannot seriously be asking me that steph?" you scoffed, glancing to her and looking away with a roll of your eyes. "look at your reaction, why do you think i didn't tell you." you mumbled, crossing your arms and glaring up at the sky above.

"okay...fair." your sister sighed, a frown thrown her way by you surprised at the small admission of guilt. "i only lashed out because i was hurt that you didn't come to me first. you've never kept secrets from me before, at least not huge ones like this." the older girl confessed, pausing to give you a chance to think it over.

"i was worried you'd freak out, which you did. you always treat me like a baby and i'm not anymore steph, i'm old enough to make my own decisions and if those decisions have consequences then they are mine to deal with." you warned, adjusting your position slightly.

"again, that's fair." your sister agreed once more to your surprise. "you're being suspiciously agreeable." you mumbled, steph reaching over to shove you lightly, a slight smile on her lips.

"it may have been already pointed out to me that the way i handled this only made you not telling me more valid." steph admitted, a slightly more comfortable silence falling between the two of you for a few moments as you sat with your own thoughts.

"i spoke to kyra." "i know, she called me panicking the moment she saw you pull up in the car park." you chuckled lightly, shielding your face with your hands as the clouds parted and the sun shone down.

"i talked her out of jumping out of her window before you got there though." "she is...something else."

"but, you're happy. right?" steph sat up a little more and looked down with a frown of concern. "yeah i am. i know kyra can be a pest but when its just the two of us its different, i love her and she loves me and she would never treat me poorly or ever get in the way of football or school or anything." you followed her lead and sat up, grabbing the tennis ball from beside you and tossing it for calvin as he sprinted off.

"oh i know, i saw her little calendar." steph smiled wider as you frowned. "what calendar?" you questioned, confused as your sister raised an eyebrow. "i'll let her explain that, ask her about it." the older girl chuckled.

"maybe at dinner, at our place tomorrow." steph extended the final olive branch as you paused for a minute to think it over. "you won't be really weird about it? make her uncomfortable?" you questioned a little hesitantly.

"i will be your older sister who will never think anyones good enough for you, that your girlfriend should be at least a little scared of." steph smiled honestly as you rolled your eyes.

"she's already terrified of you." "a wise choice. this might work out in my favor, she can annoy you instead of me." your sister grinned, poking you and whistling for calvin to come back as he was making some new friends.

"oh no we'll just both team up to annoy you now stephanie." you returned her grin as she groaned and grabbed calvins lead, clipping it onto his collar as you both made your way to your feet ready to head back home.

"hey. if you're happy then i would never stand in the way of that, as your sister all i ever want is you to be with someone who cares about you and though kyra might not have been my first choice, it isn't up to me anyway. you're right you are an adult, and maybe i need to work a little more on treating you like one." steph admitted, surprised as you stepped forward and hugged her tightly.

"well this is nice." your sister exhaled, cradling your head just like she would when you were much younger. "i'm sorry i waited so long to tell you, i didn't mean to upset you." you admitted into her shoulder. "i know, i can tell when you mean to upset me." the girl teased making you smile as you pulled away, grabbing the blanket and tucking it into the tote on your shoulder, the pair of you walking side by side.

"does you treating me like an adult mean you'll finally stop calling me peanut?" "oh absolutely not, you'll always be my little peanut no matter how old you get." "just when i thought we were having a nice moment." "hey embarrassing you is my right as your older sister, you never get to take that away from me."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

To be alone with you 7

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, power imbalance, cheating, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your babysitting gig becomes complicated. (f!plus sized!reader)

Character: dilf!Clark Kent

Note: Long time, no see.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

Spaghetti and meatballs. Simple and delicious. You assume it’s one of Clark’s specialties, the way Jonny talks about it. A plateful steams before you, the garlicky scent tugging at the appetite you hadn’t noticed before.

After the unsettling night alone, you’re starting to feel normal again. It’s comforting to have someone else there, even if it is Clark. He’s not a bad guy, he’s nice enough, it’s just that underlying imbalance that makes it awkward. Technically, he’s your boss. Even if he wasn’t, he’s much older, you’re not sure you have much in common.

“Uh, what do you want to drink?” Clark calls from the kitchen, “I see Sprite and… not much else.”

“Oh, I’ll have one, please,” you answer. You don’t drink soda often, your mom’s the one who keeps the Sprite in the fridge but it’s so hot out you could go for a crisp drink.

You wait patiently, not wanting to be rude and start before he’s sitting down. It only seems right after he went to all the trouble of cooking for you. Clark appears with two glasses. You’re surprised he didn’t just bring the cans but don’t think much of it.

He puts a glass beside your plate, then his own, a few cubes of ice in his. You notice how his hair curls with the heat, a little askew from his efforts in the kitchen. You smile and thank him for the drink.

“This looks good. You really didn’t have to go to all this trouble. Dad left me pizza money.”

“It’s fine. I’m a bit restless without anyone around. I’m used to this,” he shrugs as he sits down, his shoulders wider than the chair. Sometimes you forget how big he is. It’s almost absurd when he’s just an overworked suburban dad in your head.

“Dig in, please. You didn’t have to wait,” he stirs the sauce into his noodles.

“Oh, it’s okay,” you twirl your fork in the pile of pasta. You blow over the steaming sauce and lean forward, tasting it as you try not to flick sauce all over. You hum and do your best to slurp up the ends of the noodles without making a mess. “That’s pretty good.”

“Yep, got more than my good looks,” he chuckles, “I can cook too.”

You smile, taking another bite and chewing through the tension. There’s a bit of zest to the sauce. You can’t disagree with his self-appraisal. He can cook.

You take the folded paper towel next to your plate and wipe your lips before you reach for your soda. You gulp it greedily and nearly choke. You sputter as the carbonation bubbles up to your nostrils.

“You okay?” Clark asks, his cheek ticking.

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” you sniffle and push the paper towel to your nose. You laugh at yourself and clear your throat, “I… haven’t had sprite in a while, guess I forgot how it tastes.”

“Ah, well, did you want water?” He asks.

“No, it’s fine. Not bad,” you turn the glass and look at the soda, “bit of an aftertaste.”

“I don’t really have soda,” he sits back, poking at his plate, “most water. A juice box here and there.”

“Makes sense.”

Your forks clink as you eat in silence. The air is thick as both of you search for something to talk about. Where you’re struggling to find some commonality, there’s a twitchiness to him that suggests he’s trying not to say everything.

“If you’re up for it, maybe we could watch a movie?” He suggests.

“A movie?” You weigh the prospect. You suppose it’s a better idea than staring at the wall. Movies are a great way to fill awkward silences. “Sure, why not. Been a while since I saw anything good. Do you have anything in mind?”

“Nah, not really. I mostly end up watching Pixar so it’s on you. I trust your judgment.”

“You shouldn’t,” you scoff, “I love Pixar.”

He smiles and gives a small chuckle, “well, just don’t be mad when I mouth along with the dialogue.”

“Kidding,” you take another sip of Sprite, trying to wash away the tomatoey tang, “promise, adult movies only.” You cringe as you realise what you said, “I mean, grown-up– er–”

Clark laughs louder, “I got it,” his cheeks bulb as the cleft in his chin deepens, “I know what you’re saying, don’t worry about it.”

“Right,” you shift in your chair, thoroughly embarrassed. You really are so smooth. It’s a good thing it’s just him, you’re sure he’s not very worried about your dumb remarks.

🏡

Despite your efforts to help, Clark insists on cleaning up. You let him as you go upstairs to take a quick shower. Sweating in the sun reading all day has left you feeling a bit musty.

You pull on a pair of striped pajama shorts and a loose tee shirt. You do a face scrub and some moisturising serum before finally emerging, feeling fresh and a bit sleepy. You can hear Clark below scuttling around.

You go downstairs and peer towards the darkened doorway of the kitchen. You pass it and stop just at the threshold of the front room. You find Clark laying out the cushions on the floor along with the throw blankets and pillows. The coffee table is moved aside to allow for some space as the TV glares behind him.

You give him a curious look and he flinches as he notices you. You come forward slowly as the loose hem of your shorts ripples against your thigh. You’re suddenly very aware of how much of your legs are bare. Oh well, it’s only Clark.

“What are you doing?” You ask as you cross the room.

“Oh, me and Jonny do this. I figured you weren’t into making forts but I just thought–” he stops and looks down at his handiwork, “it’s lame, isn’t it? I’m sorry. I’m just trying to make things feel normal… for both of us.”

You give an empathetic smile, “it’s nice. Really,” you look him in the eye, the bold blues gleaming back at you, “it’s sweet. And it looks cozy.”

“Great,” he lightens up as he drops the last pillow, “well,” he turns and grabs the remote, “choose something.”

You nod and take the remote. You sit on a cushion and lean back against the couch. You flick through the new additions on the main screen and choose a movie you’ve heard a lot of buzz about. You blink as the light suddenly goes out and you look over to see Clark’s shadow moving towards you. It gives you an eerie wave of deja vu as you recall the silhouette of the intruder.

You shudder and reach to put the remote up on the couch behind you. You turn back around and a large yawn erupts without warning. You rub your itchy eyes and shake your head, the edges of the television almost blurry as you try to focus on it.

“Tired?” Clark nudges you as he sits beside you.

“Didn’t sleep after… after last night,” you say.

“Ah, of course not. That was a stupid question.”

“It’s f-i-ine,” you yawn again, “really. I’m sure I will tonight. Especially with you here.”

“Really?” He breathes.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to turn the lights off if I was alone,” you lean into the couch as you slouch down, “anyway, I’ll be quiet. Movie’s starting.”

He doesn’t answer as he mirrors you, plumping a pillow behind himself as he wiggles down and gazes up at the screen. Your eyelids feel heavy as you fight to keep them open. The opening scene barely ends as you feel your body slackening with fatigue. You’re barely going to make it through the credits.

You turn onto your side, leaning on your elbow as you hug a pillow under your head. You feel Clark shift too. You blink, a long blink, and when you open your eyes again, you’re lost. You have no idea what the characters are talking about.

You flutter your lashes and try to sit up. You give up as an achy weakness bites at your muscles. Oh well, if you fall asleep, you fall asleep. You can’t fight it anymore.

You close your eyes and wade in the shallow pool of exhaustion. Your head goes wobbly as you’re vaguely aware of the hues flickering and flashing from the television. A sudden warmth rests on your hip, a light sensation you can’t place.

“Are you awake?”

The question blows through you. You don’t have the strength to answer. Your eyes feel strange, dry and almost painful. 

You wiggle, shaken by a strength not your own. You slip further from consciousness. You flip onto your back, dragged down until you're entirely flat on the floor. Your eyes are glued shut as you’re trapped in the dregs of sleep. You can’t break through, but you can feel the world around you.

You feel a tickle over your stomach and along your chest. A soft squeeze and a dampness blows over your throat. Heat surrounds you as something prods below your jaw, something soft brushing on your neck. A low drone swirls in your ears.

“Mmm, sweetie, you smell good,” Clark’s voice distorts as you languish in the void, “I bet you feel even better.”

Another tickle. Just along your thighs. A coolness that breezes over you as fabric ripples against you. The loose leg rumples against the crease of your leg as a stroking sensation flicks around your clit.

The electrifying currents radiate from your core. Your chest rises and falls with your rushing breaths. Your heart beats loudly, further deafening the muffled voices coming from the television and the low moan drifting into your ear. Your name plucks at you but cannot rouse you.

Wetness across your cheek then on your lips, delving inside, pressing to your tongue. A sloppy lapping, slickness around your mouth, a new weight over you. Tugging at your shirt and roughness against your tender skin. Squeezing and kneading your chest as a fire razes over your.

Your legs are pushed wide. You feel the world shift and tilt as you come near the surface. Your eyes slit and you can see shadows pulsing all around. A heavy blackness hangs over you as you feel heat against your thighs. Firm muscle holding you open.

You gasp as the wetness along your cunt eases the intrusion. Your eyelids flick up and your eyes roll as your head lolls dizzily. You fight to lift your head but can’t. It’s too much just to look around. 

The single digits moves in and out of you, inching deeper each time, the ridge of knuckles grazing your walls. You moan as the hand pulls back and a second finger stretches you. In, out, the wet noise of your tight cunt nips at your shame. 

It’s not a dream. It can’t be. It feels too real. Too deep. He’s touching you, he’s inside you. Mr. Kent rocks his hand against your cunt as he hangs his head next to yours and pants, his large body draped across you.

“Baby,” he purrs as your arms remain paralysed at your sides, “shhh, it’s okay. It won’t hurt…” he whispers, “the pills will help.”

You don’t understand what he’s saying or what he’s doing. No, no, you’re wrong. It has to be a dream. He wouldn’t do this. He doesn’t want you. He has a wife. He’s heartbroken over her.

The glare of the TV limns his shoulders, broad and rounded with muscles. He’s naked. The colours skew over his skin as he curls his back, dragging his fingers free of your cunt. He leaves a wet trail down your thigh.

He pushes his knees up, keeping you splayed around him. He feels along your shorts, once more delving past the loose cotton. He prods against your folds. A bulbous, thick shape that has you clenching. He lines his tip up with your entrance and leans in, just enough for you to whimper.

He slides back along your lips, slickening himself with your stolen pleasure. He rubs against you, over and over, stopping again at your entrance. He huffs and jostles you, urging his thick forearm under your neck. Your head hangs back over his arm as you groan and curl your fingers against the blankets.

“Baby, it hurts me too,” he dips his hips, forcing his tip past the tight resistance. Your voice rises, tiny, short squeaks as you feel the daze splitting with your inside. “Just a little…” he rocks back and in again, an inch at first, over and over, shaking each time. “Little more…” he sinks in further and your voice grows more steady. 

Your eyes are wide and terrified as the pain assures you of reality. You tense but your body won’t obey. You can’t stop him. You can’t move!

“Little…” he repeats and thrusts deeper again, “...more,” he rolls back and in. His arm bends around your neck as he buries his face in your hair. His other hand braces your thigh, nails digging in as he keeps his motion. With each tilt, he slides in more. More and more until you’re agonizingly full.

You let out a whine, long and desperate as he reaches his limit. He keeps himself there as he whimpers and shakes. He wiggles his hips as he feels you around him.

“Oh god, I… you’re so good. Why are you so good?” He puffs and thrusts, jolting your entire body, “you… you’re so good I had to. I know…” he ruts again, “I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t…” he chants as he keeps his motion, easing back slowly only to snap back into you.

Your eyes wet and tears trickle out. It’s more than the pain, it’s the horror swelling in you, boiling but unable to flow over as you remain helpless. You close your eyes and choke on a sob as he rams into you faster, flesh clapping louder each time he dips into you.

You ache as he fucks you. On and on. It feels like forever as you strain against the futility, only able to bend and unbend your fingers. Please stop. Please get off. All you can utter are senseless garbles.

“Baby,” he growls, “I’m gonna– I can’t–” He pushes off of you in a panic, sliding halfway before he spasms and bucks, whimpering as you feel him spill into you, “shit, shit, shit,” he pants as he stills himself, “I didn’t mean to… not inside…”

Your head falls to the side, your eyes rolling back into your skull. You let the darkness win. You’re going to wake up and it’s all going to be a nightmare. Right?

[lunarphoria]

☽ introduction post ☾

This is just gonna be a little introduction since i started to be a little more active on here and i want to try to keep my account as clear & organized as possible!

◯ ☽ ◑ ● ◐ ❨ ◯

- 🌙 I go by both Phoebe (‹preferably) & Louisa , feel free to call me Lou if you'd like :3

- 🌙 my pronouns are she✦her✦hers

- 🌙 i'm an aroace sapphic

- 🌙 i'm a teenage girl from europe , specifically germany ( so please excuse any minor spelling mistakes :') )

- 🌙 i'm a hellenic polytheist ( I'm still pretty new to the practice & keen on learning! )

◯ ☽ ◑ ● ◐ ❨ ◯

- જ⁀➴ devoted to :

- 🌒 lady selene ; my matron , titaness , goddess & personification of the moon 🌘 ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆𓆩☾𓆪

- 🕊️ lady aphrodite ; goddess of love , beauty & pleasure 🐚 ・❥・° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .𓆩♡𓆪

- 🦌 lady artemis ; goddess of virginity, the hunt & the wilderness 🪶 ⁀➴ˎˊ˗ˋ°•*⁀➷̗̀

- 🗡️ lord ares ; god of war , courage & civil order 🛡️ ␥•—⟪=====> ⛏ ⛉

◯ ☽ ◑ ● ◐ ❨ ◯

- 🌙 on this account, i mainly want to share my experiences with hellenic polytheism , share my art and get to know other people !

- 🌙 my dms are always open in case anyone would like to chat ! i do struggle with communication quite a bit but i promise i'll try my absolute best !

- 🌙 i'd really appreciate the use of tone indicators , as I often have trouble deciphering the authenticity of statements and how serious they are meant to be taken. Please be patient with me <3

- 🌙 i also have an account on cara & instagram , both are @ lunarphoria :3

(by the way , don't be confused, you can still see my old signature ( @ lunardewdrops ) in my art posts , I tend to change my username from time to time )

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-જ⁀➴ my interests :

- 🌙 paintings , sculptures & art

- 🌙 books & poetry

- 🌙 greco-roman mythology & classical religion

- 🌙 nature & wildlife

◯ ☽ ◑ ● ◐ ❨ ◯

- જ⁀➴ my personal tags :

- # ☾ ⋆*･ﾟphoebe's art 🌙 ➛ i use this one for my own art

- # ☾ ⋆*･ﾟphoebe's thoughts 🌌 ➛ i use this one for when i want to share my thoughts or experiences

- # ☾ ⋆*･ﾟphoebe's WIPs 🌛 ➛ i use this one for unfinished art, colored sketches and/or work that's still in process

- # ☾ ⋆*･ﾟphoebe's asks ☀️ ➛ i use this one for my replies to asks I get

- # ✦ •°to selene🌘 ➛ reblogs about lady selene

- # ✦ •°to aphrodite🐚 ➛ reblogs about lady aphrodite

- # ✦ •°to artemis 🦌 ➛ reblogs about lady artemis

- # ✦ •°to ares🗡️ ➛ reblogs about lord ares

( often I'll use personalized tags for other deities outside of my patrons that I love to talk about but don't devote myself to , so you'll see that too ! )

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- જ⁀➴ DNI :

- 🌙 This should go without saying, but my blog is no place for hatred or bigotry of any kind. This includes Homophobia & Transphobia , Racism , Misogyny & all of the usual DNI criteria.

- 🌙 Please also refrain from overly sexual behavior, jokes ect . It makes me extremely uncomfortable

- 🌙 this is a religious blog !! I don't want nor tolerate any disrespectful behavior towards my deities , especially from people who see Greek Mythology as just a silly little fandom. Please be kind and respectful towards my religion :)

◯ ☽ ◑ ● ◐ ❨ ◯

i'd say that's about it for now ! thank you so much for reading my little introduction post ! i'm really excited to learn & connect more with the gods , befriend new people & take you with me on my journey ♡ khaire !

( divider made by me ! ♡ )

[whentommymetalfie]

Tagged by @bouncydragon. Thank you for giving me a chance to ramble!

20 questions for fan fiction writers

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

53

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

642 307 (!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently only Peaky Blinders

4. Top five fics by kudos

Breathe again, Kiss with a fist, Family is family, Little talks, Shattered and hollow

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to always do that for my WIPs but sometimes I forget to when I get a comment on an older fic. But that doesn't mean I don't read and appreciate them!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I was about to say that I never write angsty endings, because I can't handle them, but then I remembered about whumptober where I dabbled in that, sort of. I think it's a tie between Aversion and Confinement, and even those have a glimpse of hope at the end because I'm just like that.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh that's a tough one, since happy endings are my jam, so I've got plenty. But I think that To live a life, an installment in my first AU has a very happy ending, considering the angst that comes before.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I recall getting like... one really nasty comment once, years ago, but I've completely forgotten what it said, because I just deleted it and was sad about it for a few days and now it's gone from my mind, I just remember it happening because it's so rare.

And I've gotten a comment or two where a reader has disapproved of something in a fic, or where it's clear that they've interpreted something an entirely different way than I intended, and where they've chosen to express that in a not entirely nice way. I think when that's happened, I've left the comment, but haven't responded to it, because I just don't feel like going into discussions or spending my energy of that. But mostly all my readers are incredibly kind, which is a huge reason why I keep posting my work.

9. Do you write smut?

I have on occasion written a fic or two mostly focused on smut, upon request, and I incorporate sex-scenes into fics when I feel they serve a purpose.

10. Craziest crossover?

I've never written one, but I'm not opposed to them

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a few!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope

14. All time favorite ship?

Well got to be Tommy/Alfie right? Just look at all my... stuff.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have plenty of shorter unpublished wips where I've just wanted to 'try' an idea, or get something out of my head. Or be especially self indulgent. Those never get past the draft stage. But anything I truly want to finish and post, I usually do finish. Eventually.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I honestly think that one of my writing strengths is keeping at it, even when everything feels impossible, because without that stubbornness, many of my fics would've gotten finished. Cheesy as it may sound.

On a more technical note, I think -hope- that I'm good finding a good pace in my stories, at least my latest ones. And... describing emotions maybe.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The first thing that comes to mind, and that often feel the most limited by, is that English is my second language. That always adds a layer of insecurity. And I'm not great at writing action, or scenes with many characters (I always feel like I'm trying to juggle with way too many balls)

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I think it can work great when it serves a purpose, but with my lacking language skills I just incorporate into the text that a character isn't speaking English, rather than typing the dialogue out in the actual language.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

My first ever fanfic I posted was for True Blood. Ten years ago now, which feels crazy.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Tough one... If I'm only allowed finished fics, I'd have to say Breathe Again, because it's my first truly long, multi-chaptered project and I grew a lot as a writer -I think- while writing that. But I do want to give Home to you it's own shoutout (even if I have yet to finish that last chapter that's haunting me because I'm so afraid to mess it up) because it's so intrinsically connected to Breathe again.

tagging (with no pressure of course, and apologies if you've already been tagged) @abusivelittlebunny @100dabbo @andtherewerefireworks @elskiee

[30somethingautisticteacher]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by the fabulous @typicalopposite @bangpop91 and @nine-one-wanton 🙂

Here's a little more of In Awe (We've Created Life)--my mpreg fic.

****

This press conference would be their first step into the public eye as expectant parents, and while it was daunting, they were ready to face it together. Evan's natural optimism seemed to buoy them both, providing a counterbalance to the stress of the situation. The world was about to get a much closer look at their extraordinary journey, and with Evan's positive outlook and Tommy's steady support, they were determined to meet it head-on.

Evan and Tommy arrived at LAFD headquarters, both feeling a mix of nervousness and determination. They were quickly ushered into a conference room where a woman with a crisp suit and a no-nonsense expression greeted them.

"Mr. Buckley, Mr. Kinard, I'm Candace Phelps, Head of Public Relations for the Los Angeles Fire Department," she said, shaking their hands firmly. "We'd like to go over some talking points with you."

"Ok," Evan replied, exchanging a glance with Tommy as they sat down.

Candace opened a folder in front of her. "First and foremost, it's important for you to emphasize how accepting LAFD is of same-sex relationships."

Evan's brow furrowed slightly. "I mean, that's true, but is that really the main thing we should be focusing on here?"

Tommy nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I thought this was more about Evan's pregnancy and how the department is handling it."

Candace's expression remained neutral. "While Mr. Buckley's condition is certainly unprecedented, we believe it's crucial to frame this within the context of our department's overall commitment to diversity and inclusion."

Evan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Look, I appreciate that, but this feels like we're sidestepping the real issue. I'm a pregnant man. That's what people are going to be curious about."

Tommy reached over, placing a supportive hand on Evan's arm. "He's right. We should be prepared to address the medical aspects, how this will affect Evan's work, and what it means for the department moving forward."

Candace pursed her lips, clearly not entirely pleased with their pushback. "I understand your concerns, gentlemen. However, we need to control the narrative here. We don't want this to become sensationalized or turn into a circus."

Evan leaned forward, his voice firm but respectful. "With all due respect, Ms. Phelps, it's already sensational. I'm the first known pregnant male firefighter. That's a big deal. But I think we do a disservice to everyone if we try to downplay that or hide behind general statements about inclusivity."

There was a moment of tense silence as Candace considered their words. Finally, she nodded slowly. "You make a fair point, Mr. Buckley. Perhaps we can find a middle ground. Let's go through the rest of the talking points and see if we can strike a balance between addressing your unique situation and highlighting the department's supportive stance."

As they were working through the talking points, Candace cleared her throat and added, "Also, we think you should get married."

Open tags!

[rollercoasterwords]

hi! thank you for the kind words, i'm happy you're enjoying the fic. but i also want to use this message as an opportunity to talk about something/set a boundary that i haven't really known how to discuss, and i've blocked out your name because even though i'm not angry or upset with you, i want to make sure i'm not sending any hate back your way. 

i know that this message is well-intentioned, and i know you likely think it's nothing but a compliment to ask me to write more--after all, you're only asking me to write more because you enjoy the story so much! shouldn't that be a nice thing for me to hear? 

and like. i think that's why this is difficult for me to talk about. i don't want to come across as ungrateful or overly sensitive or like i don't appreciate the compliments, because i do. but at the same time, hearing someone say, "please write more of this fic for me, i love your writing so much!" is still hearing someone say "please write more of this fic for me!" like. 300,000 words is incredibly long. most novels are between 70k-100k words. a 300k word book usually takes years to write--years, and hundreds of hours of labor. maybe you chose that number randomly, or you're exaggerating for emphasis; but no matter how nicely you're phrasing it or how facetious you're being, ultimately this sort of message still puts pressure on me to produce a massive amount of writing in a short period of time. and even if you meant it as a compliment, it doesn't feel nice to me. being pressured to churn out hundreds of thousands of words makes me feel as though i'm being seen as a content-creation machine for the entertainment of others, and i don't like that. writing is a labor of love for me, but it is still labor--hours of time and effort that i'm putting into these works which i share for free, with no expectations of anything in return except maybe a few kind words from those who feel like reaching out. when i get messages or comments like this pushing me to write more, to write faster, it makes me feel as though my time and labor are not respected at all; as if there's absolutely no consideration for the amount of effort it takes to write the stories. which, again, makes me feel like i'm being viewed as some sort of fic-writing machine that can just pump out hundreds of thousands of words on demand for others' entertainment.

and none of this is helped by the tongue-in-cheek comment about how you're "suffering" waiting for updates. again, i understand that this was well-intended and maybe even a playful exaggeration that's supposed to be complimentary. but there are ways to tell me you enjoy my writing and eagerly wait for updates without telling me how much you dislike waiting between chapters. posting once a week is already a difficult schedule for me to maintain, and it's entirely possible that i'll need to take another break in the future or skip a week or something. i've been very clear about the fact that my update schedule is subject to change since i started writing the fic; that's just part of reading a wip. but when i get messages or comments like these with people telling me how they don't like waiting for updates, or comments directly asking me to post more than once a week, or--back when i did take a break--comments begging me not to take a break, it all adds together and builds up and creates this pressure to write more, write faster, post the new ch now now now. if you were the only person making this type of comment, it probably wouldn't bother me and i'd just respond and go "thanks lol" and move on. but the problem is that you aren't the only one--since more people have started reading the fic, i've consistently been getting comments like these, where the backhanded pressure to write more or write faster is couched in compliments. it's just so hard to wait for updates because i love your writing so much! i just want you to write more and post now and write faster because i love your writing so much! i know it's all well-intended, but none of it makes me feel good. it just makes me feel a mounting pressure to produce produce produce.

i feel like there are so many conversations happening in this fandom about how we need to treat writers better, where people go "the fandom is so shitty" and everyone goes "yeah!" but no one ever thinks they're part of the problem. and i think it's because everyone thinks the problem is like...really blatantly rude and entitled messages. and like, i get those too--people telling me they don't like a certain characterization and asking me to rewrite the fic; people repeatedly demanding that i write a certain fic for them; people just outright shitting on things i've written because they don't like it and for some reason think i want to know that. but none of that is super common. what is super common is the steady stream of comments and messages like this one, where they are so well-intended and don't see anything wrong with what they're saying because they think they're giving me a compliment. but all these "compliments" build up and create this pressure that hangs over my head to be constantly producing and writing, which is ultimately what leads to burnout and also makes me feel like i'm not being seen as a person so much as a machine. 

so like. idk. i'm not gonna try to speak for every writer in the fandom; maybe there are people out there who do appreciate this kind of message, who feel like it motivates them to write. but for me, i want to make it clear: i really don't appreciate being asked to write more or write faster or to write a certain trope/ship/etc; i am not a waiter taking your order at a restaurant. writing fic is not a service i'm providing for you that you pay me for in comments or kudos or messages or any sort of attention, because i am not writing for that attention in the first place. so when it comes to interacting with me, i'd ask that you reevaluate the way you give compliments and think about what sort of pressure you're putting on me, regardless of how well-intentioned your message is. again, no hard feelings towards you--like i said, this message probably wouldn't even register as pressuring to me if not for the fact that i get so many little comments like it, all from equally well-intentioned people who think they're just giving a compliment, all of which builds up together. 

anyway. all that being said. to answer your question: the fic will likely be four parts, not three as i originally intended. it will probably end up somewhere between 100-200k words based on the fact that we're already at 80k and i've only just started part iii, but i am not going to put pressure on myself to write a certain amount of words or hit a certain length. i'm just going to write what i want to write when i want to write, and share it as i want to share it. i'm happy to have you along if you want to be here, but if the cliffhangers or waiting for updates becomes too unenjoyable for you then there's no pressure for you to stay, yknow? no hard feelings on my end either way :•)

[blarrghe]

Shop talk! I know you're currently doing the whole writing and posting thing differently than before - like the whole thing is written, you're just editing and posting once a week. So what do you think of that? Do you prefer it over how you worked previously? Does it depend on the fic??

And how much editing are we talking? Both in terms of words changed as well as time spent on it? Do you do editing the next chapter for a whole week? Are you constantly editing all upcoming chapters??

Thanks for the ask! I love talking about this stuff :) Sorry for the obscenely long answer.

So it's the first time I've done that, and now that I'm in the posting part I am liking it a lot. I like the structure, I look forward to Wednesdays, I feel like I gathered a little bit of an audience that is there weekly with me as well, which is nice for everyone. I don't know if it makes any difference to people in terms of engagement if they hear that its completed in advance or see it posting regularly, but idk if it was me as a reader I would appreciate the regularity so I hope people do. At least one person has told me they're waiting to read it until it's finished/waited to start until it was over half posted, idk if I'll suddenly get new readers when its up in full or what but I def understand that. But yeah! The posting weekly thing has been nice. It feels productive even if I actually don't do a ton of writing every week.

Actually writing the thing took like two years though, specifically because there was absolutely no gratification to it haha. I didn't really even post wip snippets or talk about it much, because I wanted to keep my secrets. I was writing either Matchsies or A Complicated Match still when I had the idea and started plotting, so part of it taking so long is also that I was dividing my attention, and devoting more of it to the ongoing stuff I was actually posting. But I started this fic with the intention of letting it be a slow side-burner project so that I could make it "really good" by the time it went up. And that was a good call, because I did a lot of re-writes and re-structuring to elements of it, especially some of the early chapters, when I got further into the plot. To be clear, it's had the same outline all along, but there were connecting details that didn't work, like logistical travel time things that would have been glaringly annoying if I'd posted the first drafts of the first few chapters before writing the later ones. Also I re-vamped Sylvanna's character really early on into a more major role. She wasn't originally a bodyguard! Or really a main element of the story at all. Absolution came out at some point and I got Ideas.

Anyway, a lot of the editing that went into the fic before I started posting was pretty major, but by the time I was ready to actually start posting everything was much more concrete. I tend to edit the next chapter in the days before it goes up, and right before posting, mainly just for little details. But I try to give myself some distance and not overdo the constant editing so that when I do look at it right before posting I have some fresher eyes, right now I haven't looked at the next chapter (lying, I read it last night, but not from an EDITOR standpoint) in a couple weeks and I plan to put on editor glasses tomorrow morning before I post it. A big part of the editing that is ongoing is for how the prose reads, like I might come up with some gorgeous metaphor or re-do how a scene is described but keep the content the same. You get better all the time as a writer, so it's just about getting the Good Copy as Good as I can before it goes up. Every now and then I have a genius thought and go stick it in where it fits. Every now and then I also delete stuff or have a genius thought that doesn't actually fit and stick it in "CUT CONTENT" on the bottom of the doc. There's some Taren-perspective Bher stuff in there that didn't work with how I structured Ch. 20, for example. I was thinking for a sec I'd re-write that whole chapter and do a flashback chapter for him but it did not suit the flow at all and I only got a couple paragraphs in and then just... added like two lines of Taren Thoughts to get the point across instead haha. I also cut a couple chapters in half but didn't change them (19 and 20 are an example, which is also why a ch. 20 rewrite did not work.)

The most major edits I've made have been to the last two chapters, mainly to add in a few new ideas I had or to tie up loose ends I realised I was still leaving. I haven't majorly changed any of what was going to happen, it's more just me trying to really nail those last chapters. I am also constantly re-reading it in full (sometimes making minor tweaks to names in the narration ;) and also boring stuff like punctuation). I'll post a chapter and immediately get excited for the next one and go read from that point to the end...

There's also a "secret" epilogue that I wrote, really liked, and then cannibalized and entirely re-wrote like, yesterday. I wasn't initially sure I'd even post it but now I definitely will. So stay tuned for that ;)

[jelzorz]

Not a ship, but I'd love to hear more on how Claudia and Opeli's dynamic works in the snake! Correct me if I'm crazy (I sped through all the chapters and haven't re-read them yet), but I don't think they've had a ton of interaction yet? Or even just less general sisters-in-law headcanons, if you didn't wanna give fic details away!

OH CAKE I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT OPELI AND CLAUDIA AS SISTERS IN LAW! @raayllum and I were talking about it once the concept of them as sister-in-law threw is both for a loop for a second but nevertheless

I actually have a wip in my drafts about how Claudia finds out. She comes back to the castle and is relegated to the castle gardens to tend to their medicinal plants as per her sentence of service and starts to notice... some things. Soren and Opeli are hanging out a lot when she returns, and even though they're not really doing anything (yet), Claudia is also familiar with Soren's tells and starts to wonder if there's something she should know.

She says nothing though. She tells no one. It's Soren's business and she doesn't think Opeli would appreciate being asked. She'll admit she's a little surprised because historically (according to Claudia), Opeli's never liked them, but things have changed and. Well. Okay.

Meanwhile, Opeli is. Cautious. To be fair, she was a little wary of Soren when his allegiances were still ostensibly to Viren, but she learned quickly enough that he wasn't like his dad At All, especially after he got her, Corvus, Barius, and most importantly, Ezran out of Katolis during Viren's coup in season 1. She can extend that same grace towards Claudia on her return, especially because 1) Ezran vouches for her and insists they give her a chance, and 2) Soren wants to keep his relationship with his sister. She isn't Welcoming exactly, but she is less hostile than certain other people for sure.

So for a little while they don't have a lot to do with each other. Claudia is very quietly keeping tabs on the way her brother behaves around Opeli, but so too is Opeli keeping tabs on Claudia's interactions with Ezran. She doesn't approve per se, but she also can't say anything about it because. Well. You know.

Quick recap from the fruit: Rayla is about 20 weeks pregnant when Claudia comes home and goes into labour in the early morning at the end of that summer. She has a bleed shortly after her baby is born, but it's not one the midwives can control with their standard procedures. Normally, women with bleeds like the one Rayla has die, but Claudia is present and knows exactly what to do. The midwives let her in, Ez fetches the appropriate remedy, Rayla comes out of it fine. By this point, Ez and Claudia are a little more than friends but not formally courting, and after they know Rayla's okay, Soren makes it clear that he isn't just hanging around Opeli for fun. Their physical fling starts shortly afterwards.

No one says anything about anything. Opeli and Soren's thing is supposed to be a secret but Claudia's been onto them for ages, and she Knows what's up the moment Soren appears at breakfast looking a bit more cheery than usual. Opeli is still wary about Claudia hanging around Ezran but won't let herself say anything about it because of the thing with Soren. They're not Friends at all, but there's a sense of respect there, and there's enough of it that they don't pry into each other's business more than they need UNTIL

Opeli misses a bleed and starts throwing up. She essentially breaks up with Soren in her panic but won't go to Claudia who 100% has the herbs that she needs because her brother is the reason Opeli needs them at all. Rayla goes in her stead and tries to be vague about it. Claudia admits she already knows what's going on. She hands over the herbs and keeps her lips tightly sealed.

[insert the rest of the fruit here]

They have a proper talk about it after Opeli is released from the infirmary. Fresh starts, you know? The bottom line is that they want one thing from each other, and that is to keep their boys safe. Claudia swears on her life that she would never hurt Ezran. Opeli swears to LJ that she would never hurt Soren. After that, they are considerably warmer to each other and frequently have tea together with Rayla to get breaks from the dumb ass things the boys get up to.

It's a shame BC the snake starts off with Claudia saying some nasty things to Opeli in light of the situation with Viren but in this timeline, they actually get along fine! Opeli's heard worse and she doesn't hold it against Claudia, and ultimately, she's advocating for Viren—which is something she never thought she'd do, but something that Claudia is ultimately grateful for. I won't spoil the snake, but things get better again for them and altogether, they make p good sisters-in-law.

[oonajaeadira]

State of the WIP Address

Okay, y'all, I've been in a really weird place where I've been avoiding...pretty much a lot of stuff. Dunno if I have to talk to my doctor about upping my meds or what, but this is why I actually went on them--my depression manifests not in laziness, but avoiding things I need to do and things I actually WANT to do. Then I don't do them and it all starts building up. And then the to do pile feels insurmountable, like I'll never get to finish all these wonderful things. So I just...freeze up and roll over. Like a fainting goat. You'd think I'd be like "yay! lookit all the things to look forward to! I have years ahead of me full of things I really want to do! I should never be bored again!" But no. Can't do them Right Now? Fainting goat. It's weirdo. We've all got our weirdo and this is mine.

I only mention it here because I do State of the WIP Address to be accountable. Now, the weird thing is, I don't actually expect anyone to read these posts--they're boring and personal and totally for my own motivation. I just know myself and know if I put something out there, I'll feel bad if I don't do it and that should motivate me to actually do it.

But here's the thing....it doesn't work anymore. I'm no longer fulling for my own snake oil. The placebo has run out. If I know it's inconsequential, then my brain tricks me into thinking that I'm accountable to no one. And, in reality, it's true that I'm actually accountable to no one so the trick doesn't work.

Anyway. Welcome to Adira's brain where she finds her own thought patterns a fascinating psychological study and the lab results are inconclusive.

So I'mma try to twist the experiment a bit. Rather than list the things I know I can't get to right this second and feel bad about it, we're gonna let promises go and do it this way. It's not interesting to anyone but me and anyone who nerds out on process. But rather than listing the things I'm not working on, I'll talk about the ones I am, how it's going, what's in my craw about it, and maybe in my ramblings I'll clear the gears to start rolling again.

This isn't interesting to anyone but me unless you really wanna see how seriously I take my fic writing. Cringe if you want. I'm just being honest with myself. My fic isn't high art, but as with anything I create, I can't half-ass it either. It's "be satisfied with it on my terms" or bust.

STATE OF THE WIPS

I have one million projects happening, but these are the pieces I'm actively thinking about and working on at the moment.

SECRET SANTA Where it's at: I'm writing for someone I think is a wonderful person and want to do right by them, so the pressure's on. But at the same time, it's not. Because I know how accepting and lovely the person is and they gave me a lot of prompts and options and like a lot of the things I do and seem to like a lot of the types of things I like to write. I also know that this doesn't have to be over-complicated, that I can write my heart and it will please both of us. While I haven't actually opened up a doc to start, I know that it's the type of thing that if I have a little uninterrupted block of time, I can just sit down and it will flow. I won't say much about it here, but I will say that while it can 100% be read as standalone, it hits on a character/series I'm currently writing and acts as a kind of prequel, a reason for loving the reader as he does. It's something that is kind of missing in the planned series and I think this would be a nice opportunity to explore it before moving forward (and maybe helping propel that series a little) while also touching on one of the characters my giftee likes, a genre they are interested in that I hadn't considered with this character, and it will have a tone I think they'll appreciate. So while it's for them and being written with their likes in mind, I thank them, because it's also a little gift for me and my yearnings. What's stopping me: Time constraints and general anxiety.

TROPE FIC: MODERN DOM!PERO Where it's at: This one got a little sloppy and I'm working on it. I've been following @max--phillips' entries about what defines certain types of kinks and while my thoughts on dom!Pero started as true dom, they swung wrong when I started working on this, and now I'm just thinking myself back to the definition of dominant. And while I may still be missing the mark, it's helping me to think more about how I want to explore and frame this dynamic. It's also giving me a little trouble in that it's not coming out chronologically which causes me to waste time jumping around and retrofitting things. What's stopping me: I put this one on hold to start prioritizing the Secret Santa piece.

TROPE FIC: SEX POLLEN!OBERYN Where it's at: This piece is flowing chronologically. It's going to be longer than I anticipated and the first draft is about 1/3 done. I already know that after the first draft I'll have to do some shaping and I think maybe I got overwhelmed with the task I set for myself and that triggered my avoidance. I know where it's going, I'm excited for it, it will flow easily if I let it, I just have to do it! What's stopping me: I put this one on hold because I got distracted by tasty Pero thoughts. I blame @perotovar for the thots, but not the stopping. That's all on me.

TROPE FIC: ALPHA!JAVI Where it's at: I'm about 1/2 done with the first draft. Again, this one will be longer (and also more angsty) than I anticipated. I love love love where it's going though and reader and Javi's history is beautiful and sad and complex; I really love that half. I'm just now switching into the modern day section of it and have to make a few decisions about how I actually want it to go. My mind is over-complicating the story and I'm trying to wrestle it down a softer path. What's stopping me: I got distracted by the Oberyn story which is why this one's on hold and now this is all Inceptioning on itself.

GOOD. THINGS. TAKE. TIME. Where it's at: The asks are all sorted, there are only a few more sessions left before chapter 4. I just have to write it. What's stopping me: Here's the thing about PATS. If I was out for notes, I'd be pounding on this series, because it's my most popular one. But... really, I'm just here to dream up stories I like to tell. I put PATS down not consciously and not because I don't love him, but I got excited by other ideas. I want to finish it because I don't like having a bunch of unfinished projects lying around, but I also don't want that to be my #1 motivator for writing him. I want to enjoy it. I did enjoy putting the latest installment out, but I also don't feel like I'm letting anyone down if I don't hurry it, just because engagement is low. Again, I'm not here for the notes, I truly love the connection and the squeeing and sharing a yearn. We're all so busy now that it's tough to get to everything and the mutual timing is a bit off. That's okay. It's planned out, it'll get done, I just have to do it when I'm feeling it.

LEAVE OFF YOUR WANDERING: WINTER Where it's at: Finished plan. Yet to begin writing. What's stopping me: I was wrestling with this one for a bit because I had two directions it could go--soft and fluffy without much meat, or weaving all the details together and serving a story that gets rather dark, a little sad, and serves as a fix it. On one hand, I felt like I would be betraying readers by not keeping the euphoric escape. But I would also feel like I built this whole backstory that needed to manifest itself in a test for Joel and Meadowlark, as well as the fact that--other than backstories--there hasn't been any canon hardship or violence displayed. It's like I'm missing a huge chunk of who Joel and Meadowlark are. In the end, that's where the story wants to go, so I'm going there. And I have to not think about what anyone else wants, just me. Not just for selfish reasons, but I know that's when I do my best. It doesn't mean there won't still be fluff and a happy ending. It just means I have to write darkness and perhaps it will serve me better to do it in the season in which it takes place.

[intoloopin-archive]

gimmie numba 8

CONGRATS! YOU GOT … AIR CASTLE!

Air Castle, also known under the acronym ARCT [spelling], is a fictional south korean girl group debuted in late 2019 under media conglomerate MBN Entertainment Group. LINEUP (07): Perla. Hyunju. Jihye. Lihua. Evelyn. Soryeoung. Domi. HITS INCLUDE: Dalla Dalla (2019). Nonstop (2020). Birthday (2022). After Like (2023). CONCEPT: The endless wonder of the REM Realm. NOTORIOUS MEMBERS: Lihua, Evelyn.

I just can’t for the life of me start talking about NPCs with their own little worlds without starting off with my Castle Girls, because they have SO! MUCH! GOING! ON! As does everyone under the big bad MBN empire, a side of the Gioverse that we’re yet to explore (I had plans to do that with Idolmaker, since they’re always right in the middle of the shitstorm, but oh well… Maybe someday?)

Fully gasping how much of a punishment from Hell is having Night Child as labelmates and seniors might be a little hard, since LOOPiN only ever has to really deal with Dongwook (the crowd boos), Gunil (the crowd cheers) and sometimes Code, but Air Castle can’t escape NTCD as a collective horror – we’re talking daily bullship from creepy Jinsoo, disgusting fucking Cain and asshole Josh! Not to mention their branding of being a matching set with Night Child, which is really hitting them hard now that Dongwook’s public enemy number one and their worldwide reputation is going down the toilet.

They really torment the living shit out of these hardworking women that don’t get an inch of the appreciation they deserve, and the sad thing is: Air Castle can’t for the life of them join forces to try to do something about it because they have extremely clashing personalities, and almost no friendship inside the group that takes root in that, but also happens because of exterior factors that, boy oh boy, go way too deep into MBN Entertainment lore.

My biggest star in the group is undeniably Lihua, who you might have seen name dropped/put on some graphics here and there as ½ of ‘J.J’s Awful Friends’ alongside Jiyeon. I’m OBSESSED with her 'laid back but in a way that makes it clear that I've seen shit that would make the devil run off' energy, which lately has taken a lot of inspiration from the character of Klaasje Amandou from Disco Elysium – Lihua has her exact cadence in my head. She also has two slightly crooked front teeth that I always picture to be a little smeared with lipstick, and she’s got constant mood swings about it – long story short, is extremely rare for her to smile wide. Jiahang himself has known her for almost two years and has never seen it. She’s kind of a loner in her group, but fully by her own choice: she thinks the girls are lame as fuck (which in her defence!!!! Perla, Jihye and Domi really are!!!! They’re peaceful women!!!)

She grew close to Dongwook because, true story!, she lightly stabbed Cain at the Night Child’s dorms once when he tried to scalate sex to a point she didn’t wanna go, a.k.a: record her to shove it at Evelyn’s face – at the time his recent ex-girlfriend – as a gotcha moment. It was a whole Thing. Dongwook was completely fascinated, because he always wants Cain to get stabbed – preferably to death, but anything will do. He personally paid for her lift home and, as he does, invited her to go party with him at HYLL, which she was like, “Eh. Why not.”, and there she’s been ever since for reasons that saying here would strip a lot of fun off some future things (I have a WIP mapped out about Jiahang’s major adventures, if you will, on the HYLL nightclub that features her heavily!)

Long story short, Dongwook really adores that self proclaimed “Rude Boy 99” (laaaaaame) to this day shits himself at the mere mention of Lihua’s name, and so does she, and they mainly get off on that – and like, you know, substance abuse, which is as sad as it sounds. Lihua took a picture of Cain crying with his tight bleeding and sent it to the Castle Girls group chat, and that gained her some brownie points all around.

Unfortunately, it still gave Cain an excuse to extract sympathy points from Evelyn, who’s not one of God’s strongest soldiers.

Speaking of little miss prim Evelyn Suh, she’s another very fun case because MBN is trying to make a Bae Suzy out of her, and despite her best efforts to fight the effect that has on her long term bond with her members, by now the tension just keeps on growing. In a way, she’s kind of being pushed into a corner just as lonely as Lihua’s, with the major difference being the lack of choice coming from her side – homegirl is losing actual sleep and a good chunk of her hair over this! –, and I find myself really having big and elaborate thoughts on their relationship progression. I think something really interesting can be said of what it means to be a ‘girl’s girl’ through them if I ever choose to actually explore it. Also, very fun black cat/imagery with these two, which I just love!

And an extra extra fact about Evelyn: she has a little crush on Chihoon, and it’s a bit of a running gag that she always approaches LOOPiN with a very smiley and very pointed, “Hi, Dylan! 🤗🤭🙂‍↔️” But it’ll never go anywhere because she’ll never fuck a loop dude. She has been through enough! I won’t allow it!

[jumpthatjump]

Wip, spoilers for infinite wealth

posting wips since I've just been sitting on them for some time (i have been motivated to write more)

Title: Payback? Pairing: Eiji/Ichiban Word Count: 1080 Rating: Mature (There will be sex...eventually) Part one of ? Summary: Trying something new in the bedroom does not go as planned.

Notes: Setting is Bastard Eiji’s apartment because I just can’t have them doing it in Ichiban’s tiny bed. It’s too funny to think about. I need them to have space to move.

“Kasuga-san?” Eiji said it casually, since he wasn’t angry over this at all. “I have a question.”

Ichiban was reading something, his face buried in a stack of papers as he made a distracted noise. No, Eiji was not frustrated at being ignored like this, and he asked, voice calm,

“Why did you lie to me?”

Ichiban wrenched the papers down at that, surprised. “I didn’t lie. I would never lie to you.” He paused, eyes darting around in thought. “...Did I lie?”

“You said you wanted to try something new,” Eiji said accusingly, if only to make him feel bad, but Ichiban matched the tone. 

“No, this was your idea. You said to bring handcuffs. I brought handcuffs.”

Eiji narrowed his eyes a little at that. It had been clear that he wanted to use them on Ichiban–not himself.

When Ichiban had presented them to him a few minutes earlier, expecting some sort of appreciation, Eiji gave it to him in a backhanded way as he pushed him toward the bed.

I didn’t think you had it in you to go out and buy these.

Ichiban had grinned as he sat on the mattress, pleased at the compliment and eager to talk.

I almost did. There’s this store right down the street that sells all kinds of stuff, but my friend Seonhee and I were discussing some things, and she offered them to me instead.

Eiji had sat next to him, but had been distracted enough by the thought that Ichiban–shy, overly flustered Ichiban–was talking about sexual stuff with his friends, that he didn’t notice that one of the cuffs was being clicked shut around one of his wrists. He could only glare and get out Ichiban’s name in a warning tone, before the other man climbed on top of him to get his other hand.

He could not be blamed for being too confused to react, and even if he wasn’t, he knew it would scare the other man off if he snapped at him, so he allowed it and simply asked him what he thought he was doing.

Something Adachi-san taught me. He sounded so proud of himself for learning something. He did this to me once. It’s like his signature move.

Apparently, the old man just sat on people to make them give up.

So, now they were on his bed, both of Eiji’s wrists handcuffed to the headboard, with Ichiban sitting on him over his hips, which would have been hot, but it was obvious this had not been thought through. They had been staring at each other, Eiji expectantly, and Ichiban nervously, before Ichiban had told him to wait, and he pulled out those papers from his pocket.

Eiji had sighed, rolling his eyes. Let me guess, from one of your friends.

You’ve been to his restaurant–Zhao. He had a lot of ideas. He said…Then Ichiban looked anywhere else but him, rubbing at the warmth starting up on his face with the back of his hand. Well, he said a lot of things, but he wrote it all down for me.

It’s not that Eiji minded that they all knew, in fact he was pleased, but at the moment, this was boring and deceitful, and he was not happy. 

“You said you’d make it good,” he accused again, and this time Ichiban looked caught before he could hide his face behind the papers again, though it was obvious he was turning a little red. Eiji kept at it. 

“You said you'd figure it out and know what you were doing.”

And this had been true. Ichiban had insisted that he wanted to learn more about what he liked–what they both liked–which was sweet, it really was. Normally, he was unsure but willing to try or he'd dive in and just go for it. Eiji liked him both ways, but there was something to be said about whenever he was overwhelmingly confident. 

Granted, that was mostly in the streets during a scuffle with someone cocky enough to pick a fight rather than when he was between the sheets. Seeing him take men down with such ease was entertaining–and more, if Eiji was being honest.

The way Ichiban's body moved with certainty and strength. The noises he made from the force of his hits. And the way he jogged back to Eiji when it was all over, grinning brightly, flushed with excitement and exertion. It would be nice if that confidence was present in the bedroom, but unfortunately, he could lose it as quickly as he gained it there.

Eiji aimed to get a reaction out of him, to spur him into doing anything besides sitting there and thinking. He pushed as much disappointment into his voice as he could.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you lied to get what you wanted.”

Ichiban was immediately defensive, waving the papers at him. “Look! There’s a lot of steps to this, okay?”

That was another thing–he over thought everything. “You don’t have to think about Every. Single. Step.”

“You know,” Ichiban began slowly, clearly complaining, "you're always scolding me for doing things or not doing things.” He crossed his arms.  “You’re so hard to please.”

That's because Eiji deserved the best, and quite frankly, he had a lot more experience than Ichiban, and who was benefiting from it? 

“At least if it was me in charge, you would have been finished by now.”

Ichiban couldn’t deny that, but he tried to. “Not like last time,” he frowned down at him. “That was mean.”

At the memory, Eiji could not stop a sharp satisfied smile. It had been mean. He had played around with Ichiban for far too long, had drawn it out until he was a mess, crying and begging for release.

That had been fun. 

His voice lowered, smug and superior. “I enjoyed it.”

Ichiban stared at him for a good moment, before shrugging. “Well,” he said lightly, going back to his papers. “Since I apparently don’t know what to do, then I’m just going to sit here and do nothing.”

…Eiji did tell him that before, didn't he? It was irritating when Ichiban used his words against him.

“How many times are you going to read that?” he demanded, glowering at him.

“Step one,” Ichiban announced with flourish. “Take off clothes.”

“...Are you serious?”

“There's…uh, a lot more detail to it than just that,” Ichiban said sheepishly, and Eiji huffed out an impatient breath. 

“Then do it.”

[rapha-reads]

Happy Fanfic Writer's Appreciation Day! I saw this ask game going around and pick whatever you want to answer! ✨❤

— How long have you been writing fanfiction?

— Do you have a favorite word? (One that you love. Doesn’t necessarily have to be one you use all the time.

— Share a favorite run-on sentence that you’ve written.  

— Share a bit of a scene that you’ve written that still gives you FEELS.

— Best editing tip?

— What is your favorite kind of character interaction to write?

— Do you have a hyper-specific genre?

— Any personal or frequently used tags?

— Share a joke or funny moment that you’ve written that still makes you laugh.  

— What drives you to write?

— Share something about your writing that you have wished someone would ask you about. Or alternatively, something that you are just really proud of.

— Where do you draw inspiration?

— What is your immediate reaction when you receive a new comment on a fic?  

— What is your biggest challenge in writing?

— 1-2 sentence preview from your current WIP??

— What story or scene are you most proud of?

— Please link your profile so we can admire your works!

Hiii!!! Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I write so sporadically and irregularly that every time someone remembers I do write sometimes, it makes me feel so good.

Let's see those questions!

- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Hard to say to be honest. The first novel I wrote when I was 9 was based on Egyptian mythology, does that count? And then when I was 12 I started planning a rewriting of Romeo and Juliet as a novel that would cover their childhood years before the play starts, to answer a question I've always wondered about it: if they (Romeo, Juliet, Tybalt, Mercutio, Benvolio, even Rosaline and Valentine) are all the heirs and main children of the major noble families of Verona, how come they didn't know each other or barely did before the Capulet ball? Sounds like a plot hole that could be taken advantage of... So, to answer, I guess it's been 15-16 years? But I've only started sharing online things I've written in recent years.

- Do you have a favorite word?

Ethereal. I don't know why, I barely even use it. But I love it.

- Share a favorite run on sentence that you've written.

"Once, long ago, in another life, in another time, when there were still rays of sun shining upon the valley, when the mud river was a soft stream of clear water, when the trees were green and tall, the creature had a name, it had a heart, light in its eyes and people who cared about it."

(From The Creature)

- Share a bit of a scene that you've written that still gives you feels.

His temper abating as quickly as it had risen, Mercutio continued quietly :

“They don’t see you. And when they do, they mistreat you. How can you let them talk to you like that, as if you weren’t their nephew and their only male heir?”

“Juliet is the heir,” Tybalt interrupted, “I’m just the orphan, the son of the dead brother, a reminder of what this stupid war took from them.”

“No, you’re not!” Mercutio cried, grabbing his doublet. “No, you’re not just something”, he went on with passion and fire, eyes ablaze. “You’re so much more than what they want you to be! Your strength and resilience are unparalleled! You are hope against all odds, a shield for those in need, the brightest light in all this wretched city, my only solace, my other half. Mine, you hear? Mine! And if they can’t see you, if they can’t respect you, I’ll make them!”

He looked as if he wanted to say more, but Tybalt suddenly pulled him into his arms and silenced him with a fierce kiss. Rosaline closed her eyes, allowing them their privacy, tears sliding down her cheeks. She was not a romantic at heart, not like Juliet and her steadfast belief in true love, or silly Romeo and his forlorn sighs. Yet Mercutio’s impassioned tirade had stirred something inside her.

(From Ignorance Is Bliss, one of the best thing I've written in my humble opinion. Let me ramble about Tybalt and Mercutio pleaaaaase.)

- What is your favorite kind of character interaction to write?

Declarations of love. Not just romantic love (I am the definition of an aromantic romantic), but familial and platonic love too. Just characters (people) reminding the ones they care about that they do love them, truly and unconditionally. It's Tybalt and Mercutio against the whole of Verona, it's Bruce telling Jason that he's his son and he's his father and nothing will change that, it's Gwaine having Merlin's back not matter what... And even better when the words (the words are important) come right after an emotionally intense, angsty moment. Angst with Fluff is my jam.

- Share a joke or funny moment that you've written that still makes you laugh.

Humor is not my forte but there's this scene in Small Matters in Big Cities, the second part of my Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge fic that always makes me chuckle.

Raj immediately jumped into action.

“If you follow me, the car is this way! Please, let me get the bags”, he added, reaching towards the cart that Simran was still holding.

“Nope”, Simran cheerfully replied, lightly slapping his hand away. “I push the cart, you lead the way.”

“Simi, come ooooon”, Raj pleaded.

“Unless you want me to drive…?” Simran said with a threatening smile that reminded Chutki of their play-fights of old.

Raj jumped three feet back and raised his hand in surrender, shivering.

“Oh God, please don’t! Cart is yours, just please stay away from the wheel.”

[...]

“Nevermind that”, Chutki impatiently interrupted, “why can’t Simran drive?”

Raj burst out laughing at that, head thrown back, and Simran sighed and glared at him.

“It’s not that funny”, she muttered.

“Yeah it is”, Raj replied cheerfully. “Simran is forbidden from driving in London proper because she gets angry.”

“I don’t!”

“Yes you do, my love, and you become truly terrifying when you have road rage.”

“Not true”, she pouted sullenly.

[...]

“I would never dare tell Simran what she can or can’t do”, Raj intercepted, very seriously. “She’s her own person and she doesn’t need anyone’s permission. If she wants to drive through the city, she can. But after the fifth or sixth time I went for a drive with her and was hanging on to the door for dear life while she yelled at every other driver and broke every single traffic rule, I begged her on my knees to let me drive in London and she could drive in the countryside, and because she’s nice to me like that, she agreed”, he ended with his mischievous smile back on.

“That is not how it happened!” Simran protested.

“It is!”

“Is not!”

“Is!”

- Where do you draw inspiration?

In regards to fanfiction only, when a story really impacts me, there's two reactions: either I want it to never finish, and thus I want to write post-canon fics ; or I'm left unsatisfied by what exists, and I write canon divergence or missing scenes. That's the first inspiration. The second comes from the characters. A character that I can really relate to, or understand despite not identifying with them, will make me want to "try on their voice". And the third inspiration comes from music. Music is an important part of my life, and pretty much just like so many other writers, sometimes I'm listening to a song and I go thinking "hey, that could make a nice story". And sometimes inspiration comes from things I wish someone would tell me, or things I wish would happen to me, but that's rarer.

- What is your immediate reaction when you receive a new comment on a fic?

"Aaaaaaaah, someone read my work!!! Aaaaaah, someone read and liked it enougj to tell me!!! Aaaaaaaaaah, this is the nicest thing ever!!!! Aaaaah, I need to write more!!!"

- What is your biggest challenge in writing?

Writing.

Like, actually sitting down and writing.

Or to be more precise, to gather enough motivation and energy to convey all the thoughts in my mind into words. Like I said at the beginning, I write irregularly, only when the inspiration hits and meets with the motivation. Sometimes I have one, sometimes the other, but it's rare that I have both at the same time. Makes it super hard to finish things.

- 1-2 sentence preview from your current WIP?

I have several current WIPs... There's the two that I have already started to post on AO3 (the Merlin one and the DDLJ one), then there's another Merlin one still in a notebook in French, the Torchwood one started yeaaaars ago in French too... But the one I want to share with you today is a Romeo and Juliet one that I've been talking about for quite some time:

The front door slammed closed, a muttered curse following behind, jerking Mercurio out the trance this new play had put him into. Frowning, he put down the pen he had been unconsciously chewing on and glanced toward the entrance hall, just in time to see Tybalt storming in, an aura of deep frustration surrounding him.

"If it's an emergency, I'm not available. If it's not an emergency, I'm also not available", deadpanned Mercutio, immediately belaying his words by getting up from the couch and moving towards his boyfriend.

"Shut up", said boyfriend grumbled darkly, "this is all your fault anyway."

"I admit that I do a lot of things, but you're going to have to narrow it down." Considering, he added "Don't move, you're going to drop water everywhere, I'll get you a towel".

- What story or scene are you most proud of?

Ignorance is Bliss! Chronologically, Tybalt/Mercutio is my very first ship, before I even knew what shipping was. IIB is a tiny view of how I see them, their relationship and the behind-the-scenes of Verona. I have a lot, a loooot of opinions, thoughts, ideas and headcanons about this play, a lot of stories I want to write, a lot of essays I want to research. IIB is one of the few stories I've managed to write and finish and feel good about.

- Link to my profile:

AO3: Raphale

You can also check out my old blog here, I sometimes post articles and essays, both in English and in French.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Life in the City 5

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bad friends, creep behaviour, abuse of power dynamics, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You move to the big city and find yourself swallowed up by its chaos.

Characters: Clark Kent, Thor Odinson, short!reader

Note: Heloooooo.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you. No tag list, do not ask for updates.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

As promised, you’re shown to your new office by the end of the day. You put your meagre box of belongings on the desk and unpack a piece at a time. Isn’t an exhaustive task so you take your time. 

You put your watermelon post-its by the base of the monitor’s pedestal and your cell phone screen lights up. It’s been buried in your bag for much of the day but you took it out to reconnect to your work accounts. Melanie’s name fills the top of the screen. You still haven’t responded to her since the weekend. 

You swipe up your phone and cross the office. You answer as you shut the door, eking out a tiny hello as you turn back and bite your thumb. You pace aimlessly as your stomach knots. You don‘t think you’re mad at her, just embarrassed about how it all turned out. She knows how many times your excitement was burnt to disappointment, you hoped she wouldn’t have added to your pile ashes. 

“Hey, girl, you busy? I’ve been calling you all week.” 

It’s Tuesday, you think to yourself. 

“I’m sorry, I just have a lot going on at work--” 

“That’s great,” she interrupts, “did you see my texts? I really am sorry about the other night. You know, I was stressed. Clark was out of town for his job and I hadn’t seen him all week. Really, I didn’t forget about you, I just thought we were meeting Saturday, not Friday.” 

Your mouth slants as you weigh her excuse. You don’t know if you believe her but it could be true. How long have you been friends? Doesn’t she deserve the benefit of the doubt?

“Everyone gets busy,” you say with a brittle laugh, “I totally get it. Next time I’ll be clearer, that’s all. Make sure there’s no misunderstanding.” 

“Of course,” her voice is trills and is overly affected, “I just wanted to check in since Clark said you were so upset.” 

“He did?” You frown as you stop by the desk and take your stapler out of the box. 

“Uh, yeah, he did. So, in the future, if your upset, you can just let me know, hon,” her tone drips like syrup, “we’re friends, aren’t we? I mean, it’s a big city and we gotta stick together.” 

“Erm, sure, I’m sorry, I didn’t think... I wasn’t upset. I didn’t say anything, you know, I was just tired.” 

“Whatever, hon, it’s behind us now, isn’t it? You forgive me?” She pauses, waiting. 

“Y-yeah?” You answer. 

“Aw, that’s so wonderful,” she chimes, “anyway, you sound busy. You must be working so I’ll let you go. Ciao.” 

She hangs up and you hold the phone to your ear for a moment after the line dies. That was weird. Like she wasn’t really talking to you, but more putting on a show for someone. Strange. 

You drop your arm and a knock comes at the door. You wince and put your phone screen down. You face the door and fold your hands. 

“Uh, who is it?” You call out. 

The door opens and a throat clears, “just me,” Thor says as he enters, “wanted to be sure you got some of the leftovers.” 

He has a container in his hands. You try to blow off the tension and force a smile. You drop your arms straight and drag a finger up and down the seam of your pants. 

“Thanks, that’s too sweet,” you chirp. 

“Ah, I made sure to get you some cinnamon cookies,” he nears and offers the container. 

“Oh, my, I shouldn’t,” you accept the box. 

“You shouldn’t?” He wonders, “you’re not on some diet, are you? You hardly need one.”  

You laugh nervously, “oh, no,” you back up and spin to put the container on the desk. You go back and reach into the box, “I just... I have a rotten sweet tooth, you know? Sugar keeps me up.” 

“Mmm, well, you should indulge. Enjoy. Nothing wrong with allowing yourself the small things,” he goads, “so,” he claps his hands, the sound making you jump, “your office. How do you like it?” 

He looks around theatrically as he pivots. You take out your small blue mug with the teddy bear on it and follow his gaze, “it’s nice. Big.” 

“Yes, I suppose you don’t take up much space,” he remarks, “if you need any supplies, you can just let me know.” 

“Oh, um, I shouldn’t. I... I could just contact finance--” 

“Come to me,” he insists, “accounting takes too long.” 

“Okay,” you agree. 

“Are you excited?” He asks as he turns to you. 

“Sure,” you answer. 

“Mm,” he hums, “you’re sweet, but I don’t want you to stress. If there’s anything overwhelming me, don’t be afraid to let me know.” 

“I know, thank you, Mr. Odinson.” 

“Thor,” he corrects you with a wink, “you don’t know want to know Mr. Odinson.” He grins and you look at him blankly, “my father. He’s an old grump.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you put the cup down and rub your palms together, “it’s been a long day.” 

“It has indeed,” he checks his watch, “you’re almost done... I should let you finish.” He flicks his finger towards your desk, “tomorrow, the heavy lifting begins.” 

“Yeah,” you murmur. 

“Don’t forget your treats,” he points to the container, “you’ve earned it.” 

“Right, thanks again,” your smile trembles as fatigue nips at the corner of your eyes. 

“See you tomorrow morning,” he avows before he spins and goes to the door. 

You return your attention to the box as you sense him hovering at the threshold. You think he’s looking at you but you’re too nervous to check. Finally, the door closes and you exhale and close your eyes. You can’t believe how much today has taken out of you and the days to come promise much of the same. 

🏙️

You yawn as you come out of your building, eyelids heavy and itchy as you rub them with your knuckles. You hitch up your bag as you turn down the sidewalk and cross to the stop on the other side of the street. You barely slept through the anxiety and anticipation. The unknown stresses you out more than anything and you really have no idea what you’re walking into. 

You let your head lean back as you give another silent roar of fatigue. You roll your shoulders and urge yourself to wake up. You got to get with it. You can’t show up at the office half-asleep. 

The whir of an engine approaches and you look towards the direction of the bus route. Its too quiet to be a bus. Instead, there’s a vaguely familiar car that slows instead of passing. You squint and cross your arms defensively. You have to keep reminding yourself this is the city. 

The window rolls down as you bounce on your feet awkwardly, “hey,” your name rises in the deep timbre. 

You bend and find Clark smiling at you. Of course! That’s why you recognised his car. 

“Heyyyy,” you say, “what are you doing... here?” 

“Working on a story, actually. Was in the area and... what timing, huh?” He pushes his shoulder up as he keeps one hand on the steering wheel, “you on your way to work?” 

“Yup,” you answer brightly, swallowing another yawn, “bus should be here soon.” 

“The bus? Get in, I’ll give you a ride.” 

“Oh, no, you don’t have to... that’s too far.” 

“Where do you work?” 

“Tempest,” you answer. 

“Tempest? That’s right by the paper. I’ll take you, no problem.” 

“Really?” Your brows arch dramatically, “that’s so nice of you.” 

“Of course,” he pats the passenger seat and the door unlocks with a loud click.

“I owe you one." You open the door and get in, tempted to melt into the seat. It’s so much better than the stiff ones on the bus. Ugh, your head is tenuous at best. It could start pounding at any minute. 

“How are you?” Clark asks as you buckle in. 

“Alright,” you repress yet another yawn, “how are you? How’s Melly?” 

“Melly?” He chuckles, “she’s fine, I think. I'm... fine too.” 

“Oh...” you twiddle your fingers in your lap as he slowly leans on the gas and pulls away from the curb, “just fine?” 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve just been... talking a lot. You know, relationship stuff,” he drives with one hand, combing his other through his hair. 

“Ah, right,” you nod, “hopefully it’s okay.” 

“Huh,” he scoffs and puts his other hand on the wheel, “you’re a good friend.” 

“I... guess,” you shrug. “I... I just think Melanie really likes you.” 

“Oh, I know she does,” he laughs, “doesn’t keep her from being... how she is. I like her too but we both know she can be very demanding.” 

“She can be,” you agree, “but I think that’s just her personality. Sometimes I wish I could be more like her.” 

“Why would you want that?” he asks. 

“Er...” 

“I just mean, you’re you. Everyone’s different right and you’re just so sweet,” he says, “this world has enough Melanies.” 

“Maybe,” you turn your head and cover your mouth as you yawn at the window. 

“I’m dying for a coffee,” Clark says, his tone shifting smoothly with the topic, “how about you? Green tea?” 

You look at him. He remembers your order? You rub your cheek and drop your hand to your lap. 

“I’m okay, but thank you--” 

“Really, it’s no big deal,” he flips the blinker on, “I need an espresso so, how about it? Iced, hot?” 

You bite the inside of your lip. You really could use a boost. You don’t often get the chance. Your bus ride is too long to factor in a cafe run. 

“Could I get a matcha latte, iced? I have some change,” you open your bag and shove your hand inside. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he waves you off. 

“Really, you’re giving me a ride. The least I can do--” 

“The least you can do is let me buy your drink,” he insists, “because I kinda have a big favour to ask you.” 

“You do?” 

“Yeah, uh, it’s for Melanie. You must know her birthday is coming up.” 

“Yeah, I know--” 

“I really wanna work through things with her and I figured if I threw her a party, maybe it’s better than all this talking,” he joins the queue for the drive thru, “and you’ve known Melanie a lot longer than me so you’re like an expert. Do you think you could help me out?” 

“A birthday party? Well, I... could try. Mel’s always been the one into parties and planning and all that.” 

“I’m not good at it either but you know what she likes. I could use help at least with colours or whatever,” he suggest, “I mean, obviously, you don’t have to. I’m not going to blackmail you with a car ride and a latte.” 

You laugh rockily, “well, I could try. It wouldn’t be so bad and I should do something special. We’re both finally living in the same city. Maybe this would help with us too.” 

“Us? You and... Mel?” 

You give him a look then look through the windshield. You fidget as he rolls up to the speaker and orders. You wait until he’s done. 

“Things were awkward the other day when I crashed your date night,” you say, “I’m sure you caught on.” 

“Yeah, yeah, she wasn’t very gracious,” his tone lowers sharply. 

“It’s okay. She didn’t mean anything. I’m not upset--” 

“Did she apologise?” He asks abruptly. 

“Uh, yeah, of course, but she doesn’t have to--” 

“I think you deserve the apology,” he interrupts again. “You know, you don’t deserve to be walked all over like that. Hell, if I had friend like you, I think I’d treat you a lot better.” 

“I’m not upset,” you assure him, his mood making you uneasy. It’s flattering he would be so upset on your behalf but you’d rather just put it all behind you, “she said sorry, it’s all good.” You wiggle your foot as you think, “alright, I can help with the party.” 

“Ah, yes, you’re a life saver,” he pulls up to the window and pays. He gets the drinks and hands you the matcha before he slips his in the cup holder, “great, I’ll get your number and we can throw around ideas when you have a chance.” 

“Oh, yeah, sure, I could...” the cup soaks your hands in condensation, chilling you, “I’ll do my best. I have a new assignment at work so I’ll be a bit tied up.” 

“No problem, whenever you can. Hope you don’t mind if I send you a couple of pictures I saw,” he says, “tryna come up with a vision, you know?” 

“That’s cool,” you pause to sip the matcha, nearly sighing at the refreshing flow that coats your stomach, “thank you so much for the tea.” 

“Any time,” he says as he pulls out into the street, “anything you need at all.” 

[moku-youbi]

Entitled AO3 Commenters

Fam, we really need to talk about the toxic behaviour that's going on in AO3 comments these days. I know there's a lot going around about how people just want to consume, consume, consume, and move onto the next thing, and most don't even bother to kudo or comment, which is pretty heartbreaking as it is.

But sometimes, I think the folks that *do* comment, but do so in a shitty, entitle way, are even worse. Because it's like wow, you put in the time and effort to make a comment, but you were an absolute douche about it. Now, in some of these cases, I wonder if it's just young people who are new to the world of ao3 and just don't know better. Maybe they honestly don't realise what's wrong with the things they've written. So let's look at a few examples of shitty comments, and talk about why they're shitty, and what could be done to make them more acceptable.

I'm giving people the benefit of the doubt here, even when it's difficult to do so. I'd like to believe that it's just a difference in age and how we've learned to communicate with strangers online. So please, if you're guilty of these things, instead of getting angry or hurt seeing this, just think about how to do better?

So a lot has been said about the "when are you going to update again/I'm desperate for an update/" or even the *shudder* "since you haven't updated in x, I'm going to put this through an AI engine to finish the fic!" comments:

Setting aside the fact that this fic is 44 chapters and over 180k words in length, and this person never left a single comment on it or any of my other fics to tell me they enjoy my work, and how shitty it feels to know your work was apparently loved and appreciated, but not enough to actually *say* that except to demand more of it, sooner... AND the fact that I have long notes on the fic and the series about why the parts are being written and posted in the order they are...

Let's talk about why these comments aren't helpful, and in fact can often have the opposite effect of what you're hoping. Authors are already likely feeling crummy about their writer's block or real life circumstances getting in the way of working on that WIP, and these comments compound the guilt we feel, which makes it even more difficult to work on. It can make us want to avoid even looking at/thinking about that WIP, no matter how well-meaning the comment.

Fic writers are real people with real lives. I only have a couple hours free time to myself everyday, and a lot of times I'm so tired I just want to do something that's mindless fun. Most nights, however, I forgo a movie or video game (IDEK the last time I played a game! and I love gaming!) or reading to work on my WIPs. Even so, these comments are a reminder that to the people reading, that's not enough. They will consume my story, not bother to thank me for it, then demand more.

Often times, you can leave the same comment going on about how much you love it, just delete the parts asking about updates and/or assuming the fic is abandoned, okay?

Next we have the 'did not bother to read the tags and/or author's note' commenters:

The problem with this comment is that this fic is tagged as "no archive warnings apply" which means there is no underage content. Furthermore, while his age isn't explicitly stated in the fic, I have made it clear he is an adult, in college within the text of the story. I have the following in my author's notes at the beginning of the fic: "Tom Holland is my Spider-Man, but I have aged him up here, as he's in college, so. Feel free to imagine whichever spidey floats your boat"

If I'm going to give this commenter the benefit of the doubt (something that is increasingly difficult to do with anti culture), then at best, they do not read tags, summaries, or notes, and expect to be able to ask an author prior to reading their works to answer a comment that is already addressed multiple times.

If you're honestly worried about being triggered, or reading content you don't want to read, then I suggest just straight up avoiding fics that aren't clear enough to you from the tags/summary/notes. If you've read all those and it seems ambiguous, just skip it. Or if the story still sounds good, then maybe just skim the beginning of the story, even. Context clues are your friends, my dudes. If the character is a college student, chances are good they're adults.

The 'lacks reading comprehension' commenters:

Is it wrong to ask questions of an author when you don't understand something? I actually think it's a great way of interacting with authors and can lead to better understanding and appreciation of the work. However, there are a few problems with *how* you ask a question.

First of all, the problem commenters have not previously left a comment of any kind, and don't bother to include any sort of positive feedback along with their question. They just rock up to your inbox demanding an answer to a question they have, that makes you realise they weren't even really paying attention to your work (or the source material for that matter.)

In this case, smartphones don't exist in the canon work, and only exist in my fic because the characters have suddenly been thrust into a different universe. Klaus doesn't understand smartphones because he grew up with them. He is able to quickly adapt to the new technology of the world, while others, like Viktor, are confused by it. This is all explained quite thoroughly in the text.

The 'doesn't know how to google' commenters, who might also be the 'disingenuous question' commenters:

Again, going to give this commenter the benefit of the doubt that they aren't just an asshole anti. So you don't know what Thorki is, but you're on AO3, home of All The Relationship Tags. Even if you didn't think to search it there, google exists, and is your friend. Type Thorki in there, and it's not even like you've got to narrow your search or add 'ship' or anything. The top result is the Thorki page of shipping wiki, and the next several links are photos of Thor/Loki. There is literally no other result given on the first page of google.

But LBR, this is likely an anti trying to subtly shame me for shipping Thorki. In which case, I'd invite you to look at my author page and see the types of fics I write regularly, and maybe just take your nonsense elsewhere.

The 'why are you here?' commenters:

Again, it's not like there's anything wrong with this kind of question! I too have seen PFPs of people on AO3 and been curious myself. The problem is, once again, coming onto one of my works and, without acknowledging the work that I've put so much time and effort into the thing they're commenting on, they just demand an answer.

What's particularly bewildering about this is that it isn't even in the 4 most recent works I've posted. So instead of just seeing my PFP and clicking on the first thing they see and asking there (still a little rude, but maybe more understandable??) it seems they were here to look at my work, and in doing so saw my PFP, and decided to ask.

Look, there's a way to ask these kinds of questions, young folks, and so I present to you

The proper way to ask a question commenter <3 :

Look at that! The commenter was able to get their question answered, and I was delighted to respond to them, because they took a few lines to tell me that they'd appreciated the work it pertains to. Honestly, I don't even need that much, although it's sincerely appreciated and makes my day. But even a simple "Loved the story, it was a lot of fun. BTW--that house..." would be cool.

We've all had those times when we get a burning question reading the fic--

"Is it possible they were referencing those lyrics??? I mean, it's not a very popular song, but it seems so obvious!!!" (probably, and the author is likely gonna be super excited you know that song, too)

"Did that line mean to insinuate what it did? Is that foreshadowing? Are those characters secretly screwing?" (the author may play coy, or they might be super excited you picked up on the thing they were hinting, or maybe they'll be annoyed you ruined the surprise?? but that's on them being brought up in the Marvel era of no spoilers)

Or indeed the questions about PFP or what house/city/clothing you used as reference.

But unless you're a regular commenter, popping up with just that question is abrupt at best, and shows a lack of common courtesy. Like, okay. Imagine running up to your favourite actor/singer/author in public and instead of saying "I'm a huge fan/I loved X/you're an amazing author/lyricist/actor/etc", you just immediately start bombarding them with questions "When are you going to write a new song/What did you mean on page 126 when you said/why did you decide to write these two characters together/etc etc."

Just imagine that you are addressing a living person with real human feelings, and ask yourself, if I were talking to them face to face, would this be an acceptable way to address/open a conversation with a stranger.

[thecoziestbean]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @iamstartraveller776 !

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 11

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 127,389

3. What fandoms do you write for? LOTR: The Rings of Power, Baldur's Gate 3, and The Night Circus

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

run through the forest (settle before the sun): you get more than you bargained for when you stumble upon a little cottage after getting lost in the Wood [BG3, Halsin/Reader, dark fairy tale au]

The Venus of Valinor: Galadriel has her work cut out for her covering up that her family's art collection is fake. When too much interest threatens to expose her secret, she enlists rakish thief Halbrand's help. [LOTR: TROP, Haladriel, modern-ish art heist au]

meet me at the edge: Nobody talks much about the Noldor family anymore. Like saying any of their names aloud will bring their misfortune down upon the speaker: a lesson to be learned, a warning to be issued, a curse to be conjured. [LOTR: TROP, Haladriel, prairie gothic horror au]

sharp as a razor, sweet as honeysuckle: The fic where Galadriel's a professional barrel racer on the rodeo circuit, Hal's a washed up bull rider running a honky tonk, and they're both idiots in love. [LOTR: TROP, Haladriel, modern rodeo au]

My Way or the Highway: Workplace rivals Galadriel and Halbrand are sent on a business trip to meet with a reclusive client. The trip does not go according to plan. [LOTR: TROP, Haladriel, modern roadtrip au]

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to! I'm not always prompt, and sometimes I don't have the bandwidth. But I really really really appreciate every one I get, and I hoard them like a weird little dragon.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't really do angsty endings, but I guess Missed Connections? There's a good chance I'm going to expand on that one this year, but where it stands now I'd say it's angsty.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I guess run through the forest? That's the one that probably comes closest to a HEA ending. But I'm also partial to the ending of sharp as a razor.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Once, on a 100 word drabble. It was a bizarre experience.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yessss. I tend to write the E variety, and it often has an... energetic quality to it, we'll say. But I like smut that reveals something about the characters, either to themselves or to each other or just to the reader.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Nope. Not really something I'm super interested in doing, either.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but that would be very cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet...

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I feel like I shouldn't say Haladriel because it's too obvious, but I'm also astounded that I'm still here and the brainrot has somehow only gotten worse.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oof, I really hope I finish all my WIPs. I do have a Haladriel Western AU that I've been working on for a year (?) now, though, that feels like it'll never be done. (Different from meet me and sharp as a razor if anyone's wondering, and yes, I realize that means I had/have 3 western/western adjacent au's. Stop looking at me like that.)

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm pretty good at scene setting and atmosphere. And creating a clear sense of space through description and action/movement.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I struggle with articulating the emotional pay off in big scenes. And endings! Endings are rough! Let me just stew in the atmosphere for 40k with no end in sight.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've used a little Quenya and Sindarin here and there, but I'm not comfortable enough with any other languages to use them extensively in fic.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Rings of Power is the first fandom I've ever really finished or shared anything in. I dabbled a bit in some other fandoms years ago, but nothing ever saw the light of day. I'll forever be grateful to this fandom for getting me writing for fun again.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Ooo, that's hard. They've all been my favorite at one point or another. Right now, I'd have to say A Lust for Light, the fic I wrote for the most recent Haladriel Exchange is top of the list. I'm so so so proud of how that one turned out.

No pressure tagging: @nocaptainonthisship @lisenberry @liminal-zone @conundrumoftime @wyrd-syster @myrsinemezzo @the-sweet-hibiscus @klynnvakarian @jhalya @stitchingatthecircuitboard @hazelmaines and anyone else you wants to play!