#to be honest i don’t think most ppl actually understand what anyone’s ‘character development’ in atla actually is.

[comradekatara]

“sokka’s character development is how he goes from being a misogynist to respecting women!” i am sorry to report that this is simply not the case. realizing that bioessentialism is a myth perpetuated for arbitrary reasons by a hegemonic power structure that does not in fact contain his best interests is like. the second thing he changes his mind about in the entire show. the first of course being that aang is a fire nation spy. which is honestly a reasonable assumption bc who tf gets frozen in an iceberg for a hundred years this isn’t a fairytale (in his mind) (obv it is). “sokka’s character development is how he goes from being a selfish stupid shitbag to an epic chad with a heart of gold!” respectfully, what are you people talking about. like ever. even when sokka’s character development is being “praised” i do not believe that you guys know what said development actually is.

[autisticcassandracain]

🔥 kori

dickkory sucks but not for any of the reasons dickkory haters say it sucks. most dickkory hate is literally just ppl hating on kori disguised as a 'personal opinion' on ships and usually those opinions make it extremely obvious that they never bothered to like, actually read The New Teen Titans lmao. 'dickkory was mostly sexual' is especially a terrible take because not only is it blatantly untrue, it's also based in the slut-shaming Kori has received over the years for being sexually open, and the mischaracterization she's received bc people saw an opportunity to reduce a female character to a sex object with a thin veil of plausible deniability in the form of 'characterization' and took it.

Most arguments against dickkory I've seen focus on the idea that Kori didn't offer Dick much, which is HILARIOUS because you have a MUCH better argument for the reverse, which is exactly what I will now proceed to argue.

got long, is under the cut, you know the drill. TL;DR Kori and Dick's relationship was badly built up, Kori provides more emotional support for Dick than Dick provides for Kori, Kori was more important to Dick's development than Dick was to Kori, and I don't think it's ever even been stated why Kori likes Dick.

Also donnakory was built up way better than dickkory and I'd argue Donna has had more of an influence on Kori than Dick ever did. That last one isn't explained in-depth it's just important to me that you know this.

Dick and Kori barely interacted prior to getting together, and yet we were supposed to believe this narrative that Dick was definitely in love with Kori and just couldn't admit it. I literally did a double take the first time Kori mused to herself about being confused Dick 'wouldn't admit to being in love with her' like I'm sorry WHEN did that get established??? I'm too aro for 'love at first sight' bullshit you have to actually make them interact or I won't buy it. This lack of build-up was my first problem with dickkory, but I was willing to ignore it if the actual relationship appealed to me.

It didn't. Dick and Kori's relationship is marked by a pattern of what, to me, is incompatibility. Dick is the type of person who, when stresses, lashes out at others and pushes them away. He's seen doing this multiple times to Kori in The New Teen Titans, most notably shortly after they got together when he was stressed due to having too much on his plate, and in the Return to Tamaran/Karras/Marriage arc. Kori consistently reacts to this behavior by blaming herself for it. The first time, she comes to Donna to ask her if she's done anything wrong, after which Donna reassures her that Dick's just Like That, and Kori resolves to be as supportive as she can.

The second time bothers me much more; on Tamaran, Dick is so mean to her she ends up having a full-on breakdown, which she first seeks support for from Joey, but later, she just stays depressed until she can return to Earth. While Dick's behaviour was influenced by his brainwashing, we never get confirmation of how much of it was influenced, and on top of that, the comic repeatedly and consistently frames Kori as having 'hurt Dick' during this arc afterwards, making her say this repeatedly, while never refuting it or addressing the ways Dick has harmed Kori during this arc.

While Dick did man up and apologize in both circumstances (I think the second apology was lacking, but the first was quite good), it still established a pattern that I find uncomfortable. Dick is rude to Kori, Kori takes it personally and wonders what she's done wrong, Kori tries to talk it out with Dick, Dick snaps at her and pushes her away, but eventually realizes he's been mean and apologizes. What bothers me the most in this pattern is the part where Kori consistently blames herself for Dick's behaviour, and assumes she's done something wrong to make him behave this way. Every time this came up in the comics, it made me deeply uncomfortable, because I've seen enough real-life relationships with a very similar dynamic to this that were deeply unhealthy to make this set off all my alarm bells.

I want to stress that I don't think dickkory is actually unhealthy in canon, but it reminds me of enough unhealthy relationships I've known for me to be personally uncomfortable with it.

That's not the only part that reminds me of those relationships: I feel like Dick is getting way more out of this relationship than Kori. Kori is consistently shown to support Dick when he goes through tough situations, even when Dick responds by trying to push her away or being rude to her. Similarly, Dick has stated that Kori was the one who helped him open up about his emotions, and has had a tremendous positive effect on his character development as a result; he even goes so far as to name her one of the elements of his Nightwing identity. Kori pushes Dick to explore new areas of himself, and supports him when he has problems.

Dick, by contrast.... doesn't really do this with Kori. When Kori needed support, Dick was consistently either absent or actually rude to her. Again, this is most prominent during the Karras arc; during a time when Kori desperately needed someone to support her, Dick was only concerned with his own hurt feelings. And again, yes, he was brainwashed during this, but again, we never actually got confirmation on how much of this behaviour was due to brainwashing, and much of the writing afterwards framed Kori was the one in the wrong here, so my point stands. This was the singular most important moment Kori needed support, and Dick blew it, and the narrative basically let him off the hook for it.

The only time I can think of when Dick supported Kori in non-battle related situations was right after the Wildebeest arc in New Titans, but that was also the start of Kori's character massacre for the break up arc, so I don't exactly have fond memories of that. I'm sure there's been more minor moments where he's supported her that I'm forgetting, but I shouldn't have to have this much trouble coming up with times Dick has emotionally supported Kori.

Furthermore, Dick hasn't had a similar effect on Kori's character development to Kori's effect on Dick. While Kori did develop while she was with Dick, this wasn't really due to Dick. Her short-lived change of heart about the morality of murder was due to her personal experiences, and while Dick probably aided in this decision, so did Donna and even the rest of the Titans. It was not something that was uniquely Dick, the way Dick opening up about his emotions was uniquely Kori. Her distancing herself from Tamaran and embracing Earth was also not uniquely Dick, and was in fact a realization that mostly took place in his absence. Other parts of her character development follow this pattern.

I'm not saying Dick has had no effect on Kori's character progression, but he wasn't instrumental in it the way Kori was instrumental in his. Kori's character would've likely progressed in an extremely similar fashion even without him, and I can't say the same for Dick. If anyone influenced Kori's development in a similar way Dick influenced Kori's, it was Donna, who was the one to introduce her to Earth culture, supported her through various tough times and insecurities, helped her find a job (albeit it on accident) and frequently worked with her later, etc. etc. And even then, I don't think Donna's effect on Kori was quite as dramatic as Kori's effect on Dick.

The final nail in the coffin for any interest I may have had in dickkory is the fact that I, honest to god, have no idea why Kori likes Dick. I don't. Dick has several internal monologues about how much he loves Kori for her passion, her drive, her openness, and the way she pushes him to explore new parts of himself and open up, but Kori... doesn't really do the same for Dick. I can make guesses as to why I think Kori likes Dick, even fairly educated ones (I think Kori likes Dick at least in part because his intellectual approach to life is new and interesting to her, for example), but they've never stated it explicitly the way they've stated what Kori likes about Dick. And for a series that'll state practically everything explicitly if it can, up to and including what's happening on the panel right now, this is very weird to me.

Any of these problems, isolated, I could've gotten past; even a two of these problems I could've probably ignored. Three would've been pushing it, but all of them? No chance. Any good will I had towards the relationship was buried with the Karras arc, and then shot in the head for good measure when they continuously talked about it as if Kori was the one at fault there.

All of these problems combined make it very clear to me that Kori was not the primary concern in this relationship. Kori was invented as a love interest for Dick, and it shows. This entire relationship is about what it does for Dick, how it helps Dick. The only thing Kori gets out of it, at least to me, is the happiness she gets from being in love, and frankly, she could get that with literally any other character.

The fact that people keep reducing her character to this relationship also infuriates me and makes me even less inclined to like it, especially when they can't even bother to remember Kori was the one who broke up with Dick and instead treat Kori as the one who was left heartbroken and has never gotten over it, while Dick gets to move on with his life and other love interests.

I think this relationship had potential; I think their contrasting personalities could've made for an interesting relationship, and I've enjoyed some isolated moments and fandom portrayals of them before. But after reading The New Teen Titans, I just do not understand why so many Kori fans like this relationship so much. I went into the series neutral on the relationship but hopeful about being won over, to straight-up hating it.

Also that one time they used a relationship between a man who was about to shoot his wife for cheating on him as a direct and obvious parallel to dickkory was SO GODDAMN AWFUL. why the hell did they think that was a good idea. why.

[masked-puppetmaster]

hey, i saw you asked a while ago why dream & techno apologists are apologists for those characters (and you liked a bunch of my posts concerning that, actually) i was wondering if you still have any more questions - and also i wanted to ask if you wanted to talk a bit about c!tommy and what makes you like him so much? like is it just the emotional attachment to him? is it the trauma? anything specific about the way in which he is written? i've always watched his pov & i'm very curious! / - red

yo yo yo hey! I think I understand it a bit more now, for the dream & techo apologists, I think I’m still a bit confused when it comes to technoblade. I see a lot about people only using him as a weapon/ him not being able to trust people / no one sticking up for him and I’m not sure where it comes from? In all fairness, I only know him as the guy who executed Tubbo / spawned withers but im assuming that’s in large part because I came into the story so late (iirc I didn’t really get into the dsmp until around doomsday, and I got most information of past events just by like. osmosis or reading wikis) so I might simply just not have enough information on techno to get it. Like, he executed Tubbo under a lot of pressure iirc but that doesn’t take away from the fact he did execute him? or things with the withers, I know technoblade doesn’t like the government and I’d go as far as to say he has a point, but was it really necessary to destroy lmanburg (iirc, multiple times). I know he was mad, but I feel like he shouldn’t have taken in that far, like from what I see and understand it’s like yes he had his points but he hurt people and doesn’t seem to care that he hurt anybody, just kinda stands there assuming he’s right about everything and not rlly looking at the situation from anyone else’s perspective. That being said like I said I came into the story really late and so my arguments might be able to be chalked up to just a lack of proper context, and even if I’m kinda annoyed at Technoblade’s behavior I still like him as a character & when techno does stream I enjoy the content so I’m not like a technoblade hater or anything I just don’t see why people can be apologists for him bcos from my pov he’s just kind of hurt people and not taken any personal responsibility for it (I mean this as in acknowledging to himself he was ever in the wrong; ex. The whole Tommy / techno betrayal situation which I think was a p complicated matter to be fair he just keeps saying over and over how Tommy betrayed him and it doesn’t seem to me like he’s even bothering to look at the situation from Tommy’s pov or rlly reflect on his own actions at all)

I just rlly like Tommy! I think at least some part of it can be chalked up to Tommy being the first streamer I watched in the dsmp and one of the ones I watch the most from (half the time I’m watching the dsmp it’s a Tommy stream) so there’s just gonna be some inherent bias towards him there like there is with literally any of these streamers. As you put it, it is kinda the trauma, haha. trauma and emotional attachment lol. I think part of it is I relate to him a lot, and I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things, and I also just like the way his character is written. Smthn abt him that people have pointed out is that his trauma isn’t pretty and romanticized it’s ugly and yk he acts out and all that, which I appreciate. I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things or at least understand why he thinks the way he does. I like seeing him learn and grow I like seeing his arcs both personally with himself and with other people. He’s an interesting and complex character and he’s been through a lot and I think it’s just super interesting to see how what he’s gone though affects his mental state and his actions as a character, like just from like a mental analysis standpoint there’s a lot to talk about which I think is pretty cool. this isn’t to say that he’s never fucked up or done anything wrong, because he has, but to be fair so has everyone else on this server I don’t think there’s a single member of the server who’s done nothing wrong (except maybe like. Charlie. Charlie my beloved). He’s made his mistakes but every good character fucks up that’s what makes them a good character is their flaws and so with the ways that he’s messed up and the ways he’s hurt people I’m an apologist because I can see why he acts that way, where the feelings and actions are coming from and I can forgive him for it because I understand the why. Also I just think the punishments he’s received for his actions are rlly unfair, easy ex with exile he did something many people on the server have already done at one point or another and was exiled and mentally broken down over it and rlly it’s just been like one thing after another and even if he’s made mistakes he gets way more harshly punished than I think was fair. I’ve seen people talk about how annoying and selfish his character is and when I read the posts (not all of them, there’s a nice chunk of people who are civil about it) it just seems like they’re not rlly thinking abt his character and his experiences. I’ll see people explain his signs of trauma and say it’s annoying because it’s not soft crying trauma it’s messy acting out trauma which it’s just like you do not understand this at all, do you? Or with the discs, I’ll be honest with you here. I will defend Tommy’s attachment to these stupid little music discs till the day I die. Why can’t he have his discs? They’re his , they’re not even that valuable outside of the fact that they’re his, why can’t he have things? why isn’t he aloud to have items he’s attached to without someone taking them for the sole reason of he likes them. And all I see is people saying he is selfish and cares about the discs more than people, which is literally disproven in the rp. Ranboo flat out says he’s not selfish, when Tommy takes the blame for George’s house (also keeping in mind here tommy and ranboo barely knew each other at the time, and if Tommy was actually selfish he could’ve very easily dragged Ranboo down with him) and when it comes to the discs he’s given up the discs multiple times in favor of helping other people (he gave them up for lmanburg, and then for Tubbo I think twice actually) and the one time he told someone the discs were worth more than they were, that was the moment yeah made him realize he didn’t like who he was becoming and he immediately backtracked and allowed the disc to be handed over. TL;DR he’s not selfish he’s just got a lot of strong attachments and his attachments are both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. And he’s a kid, he’s been though a lot of things, he’s got a lot of trauma he’s dealing

with and it’s not always pretty but he gets better, he has his arcs and he gets better and learns from some of his actions, and I think looking at him and his yk. Timeline and character development and arcs and his whole like mental deal and just general character choices are super interesting and I find it fun, as someone who enjoys character analysis, and all in all I love him I relate to him in some ways and some of it also might just be emotional attachment and bias towards him as Tommy being one of my comfort streamers

& it’s fully possible someone could have just as much of an argument for c!techno, my deal w looking at c!tommy making mistakes and c!techno making mistakes and being able to be an apologist for Tommy and not for techno is more about me understanding tommy’s character better and understand the reasoning and the why behind the things he says and does, vs. techno who i dont really get and i can’t be an apologist for him if I don’t understand anything hes doing or why he’s doing it and then seeing him over and over dismiss other peoples perspectives and never rlly reflecting on himself (not to say Tommy couldn’t use at least a little of that himself- I am Looking over at his relationship w Jack Manifold lol) can be kinda frustrating but as I said earlier that might just be me not knowing all the proper context

I could probably write more about Tommy especially when it comes to the whole technoblade vs Tommy thing but this post is already way longer than you probably ever wanted to read so I’ll stop now I’m sorry I’m just hyperfixated haha and yk if anyone wants to like add arguments or points or if you or someone rlly likes technoblade or dream or whoever and wants to talk to me about that go ahead I encourage that like I rlly enjoy having those conversations w ppl provided theyre civil abt it bc like we’ve all said a million times over before eveyone in the dsmp is an unreliable narrator and you’re just going to automatically have a bias towards a character if you watch their POV most and all that so. Yk I am a tommy apologist but I watch his streams most and I’m also just emotionally attached so anything I can say has to be taken w a grain of salt bcos I’m biased towards his character

[superleeleehipster]

10x16 thoughts/theories

After reading up on the finale, and watching the gifs/videos of that lovely Caryl moment (thank you peeps!), I’ve got some feelings to process. Mainly about two specific things about what the episode showed and what that means for the future.

Obviously, some spoilers ahead for 10x16

Disclaimer: Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, this is just my own. I’m not telling anyone to feel a certain way and everyone’s emotions are valid. You can happily agree or disagree as much as you want. 

So first thing I want to talk about is that hug scene from the finale. From what I’m seeing so far, there are a ton of mixed reviews about it in the Caryl fandom. Some folks loved it and thought it was sweet, while others were disappointed b/c they were expecting something like the “No Sanctuary” hug based on the spoilers we got.

Speaking of. Spoilers. I appreciate the people who are able to give us content before the episode (to curb my anxiety if anything), but I also try my best to take what they say with a grain of salt, and the hug is a perfect example. We were told it rivaled the “No Sanctuary” hug and they had a heart to heart, but those statements are a bit arbitrary. I definitely think the person who said that thought those things, but we might not agree with their opinion. 

The opposite has happened before too, where we were given spoilers that didn’t sound very good and it wound up being a better episode for Caryl than we thought. Like when we heard that Carol and Zeke were going to shag during the episode “Morning Star” and she confronts Daryl later and asks him to not hate her, and he says “he would never hate her” but doesn’t look at her and walks away... But what actually happened was Carol went to Daryl’s place in the woods and Zeke found her b/c he knew she “needed some comfort” and the shag was more or less one last hoorah for their relationship and when Carol asked Daryl to not hate her he looked straight into her beautiful eyes and said with conviction “I’m never gonna hate you”... that episode was an amazing surprise for everyone b/c we thought it would be much worse. Bottom line is, we just need to be careful about what spoilers say, b/c they can leave stuff out or make their own opinions on it. 

My personal opinion on the hug: I thought it was a very sweet moment between the two. No, it wasn’t the same as the “No Sanctuary” hug, but I don’t even think that type of unbridled desperation and relief would’ve been appropriate for the current situation. And the current situation is that Caryl’s relationship had hit hard times recently, and Daryl is still upset with her with her actions. When saw her at the end of the episode and looked her up and down to make sure she was ok, but stayed guarded at first, that made sense to me. B/c neither of them are in the right headspace for any kind of relationship right now, especially Carol, and Daryl is a bit guarded still b/c of her recent actions. But when they acknowledge that it’s over, and Carol openly admits that she’ll never get what she wants and he says she has him and she gives that pitiful whimper of “yeah?” to him (AGAIN, we didn’t know about that in the spoilers!) and he comes in and gives her such a freaking warm hug. It was a hug that reassured Carol he was still on her side, and reassured Daryl that she was physically there and ok, and that the war was over. Also that part where she whimpered and wiggled a little and he wouldn’t budge at letting her go. Ugh the feels! 

Seriously, I was kind of jealous b/c I haven’t been hugged that warmly in a long time... 

Point is, I thought the hug was nice and sweet, and appropriate for the current situation. We just need to watch our own expectations when spoilers come out, b/c they can make us feel underwhelmed or pleasantly surprised when we see the scenes on our own. I definitely understand that ppl are tired of waiting. We’ve had 10 years of this and we’re tired of waiting for canon. But I definitely believe it’s coming soon, I really do...

Second thing I wanted to mention is that Connie is alive. I know there are some folks who are not exactly excited about that b/c we were pretty certain she had been killed. For some carylers, having Connie gone meant no real chance of Donnie happening, b/c we’ve been burned by TWD before and there’s always that chance no matter how slim. But for most, having Connie dead would cause the Donnie shippers (the nasty ones at least) to riot before likely leaving. 

Personally, I’m actually glad she’s alive because of two big reasons:

1). Ignoring the abc shippers for a second, quite a few general audience members were really starting to hate Carol after her actions this season. No matter how much we had tried to speak reasons, and highlighting the fact that she just lost yet another kid, a lot of them ignore the turmoil she’s going through and just focus on the actions she’s done. Having Connie alive will at least quench some of the GAs negative feelings over Carol. Yeah she still messed up, but Connie’s alive so the blame will ease off on Carol...

2). This one’s a big one. Ever since Angela Kang began as the showrunner, I’ve noticed big differences between how she writes relationships and how it was before she came along. Quite a few differences if we’re being honest, but the biggest one is that she is more direct with character’s relationships with each other, and she’s not using the current situation to escape from having to be direct with them. There’s no extreme subtle glances or talking in a weird language that doesn’t always make sense (looking at you Gimple). She has been pretty upfront with a lot of the relationships during the last two seasons, and she hasn’t had to use fate/deaths to end ships or start others. For example:

- Carol/Ezekiel - A lot of folks were upset over the fact that Henry was going to take Ezekiel’s place on the pike scene, mainly b/c it wouldn’t be fair for Carol to lose another kid. But ignoring that reason for a moment, another reason is that it would've ended Carzekiel, so Daryl could possibly have a chance again. However, what happened was even better, in that Carol chose to end the relationship herself, instead of circumstances doing it for her. 

- Eugene/Rosita - Instead of constantly having a “will they/won’t they” situation, Rosita had flat out told Eugene that they were never going to happen, and he admitted he mainly created the friendship in the hopes of being with her one day. Then, when he tried kissing Rosita, he realized he wanted Stephanie instead. Again, direct development in the relationship, even if the relationship itself would never happen. 

- Daryl/Connie - The season 10 premiere, Kelly teased Connie with an eyebrow look after Daryl waved at her, but Connie gave her a “stop right now” glance. And when Carol asked him about it, he repeatedly said there was nothing going on between them. 

- Daryl/Carol - She had Michonne mention to “make sure she says goodbye this time” to Daryl without Daryl even telling her he was about to meet up with Carol. The pure excitement and love between Caryl when they first reunited was adorable, and Carol’s joy on his bike was just amazing. To save some reading time, Daryl had basically put his heart on his sleeve for Carol this season, trying his best to keep her safe and help her through the situation. All the while, AK gave subtle/not so subtle hints of what their relationship was and very likely will become. Calling Caryl soulmates in interviews, admitting this season was really about their story. Having Carol sleep on a bedspread with ships on it, or have Daryl standing next to a ship wheel hanging in the hallway while he waited for Carol to answer the door. Having Carol find a double capped acorn and then Daryl staring longingly at it while he was in his room. I really could go on...

Point is, AK has been direct when it comes to dealing with relationships, so I have a feeling that she’s going to be direct when it comes to the Donnie ship. She already has, but I feel like there’s going to be a moment where it’ll end once and for all. 

AK loves reading our fanfics, so I can definitely see it where, at the end of Season 11, when Carol decides she’d like to go on a trip. She’s in a better headspace than she was before, and just wants to go on an adventure. She was hoping to take Daryl up on his offer for New Mexico, but then Connie returns and she and Daryl have a really nice reunion that everyone witnesses. Carol thinks Daryl wouldn’t leave after that, so she plans as if she’s going alone, but then he finds her packing and asks when are they leaving. She gets confused because she thought he would build a life with Connie, but he might say something like “already told ya, there’s nothing going on there... my place is with you, no matter where that might be”...

Or maybe Connie tries to or even kisses Daryl, and Carol witnesses it, so she scurries away and makes plans to leave. But she doesn’t see Daryl turning away and telling Connie that it’s not like that. And then he goes to Carol right after and tells her that he’s going with her...

Those are just examples, but I can honestly see AK doing this, b/c she hasn’t shied away with being blunt with relationships before, why would she shy away from this now?

At the end of the day, I’m not perturbed by the finale. I wasn’t expecting anything drastic in regards to Caryl. But Carol has reached her bottom, both personally and with her relationship with Daryl, and now there’s no way to go but upward. The finale has already solidified the fact that she still has Daryl on her side, and that will be of immense help to her guilt about the recent events. So the next bit of their journey is Carol climbing out of the hole she was in, and with Daryl at her side. That sounds a lot like one of our fanfics doesn’t it? XD

PS: AK, if you’re reading, I fully expect that the next time in the future, when there’s a hug that actually rivals the no sanctuary hug, I hope it’s Carol and Daryl hugging desperately and trying to swallow each other’s faces... cause you know, I have wants.

Have a good evening loves! (gifs are not mine!!)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Hi CJ, I have a question. I'll understand if you don't want to answer it, but what are your thoughts about the fighting about Lou and Vi that keeps happening? Do you think thier routes are unequal? I keep seeing posts about ppl insisting that the devs favor Vi and ppl getting nasty towards her about it. I love Louis and sometimes I agree with the posts but they are so mean about it that it makes me feel bad. You don't have to answer but I'd like to know your thoughts on the whole thing. Thank u

…….Sigh.

Okay. 

Anon, I’m sorry that it’s taken me a while to get back to you, given all the things I’ve had weighing down on me recently about my blog and life outside the fandom.

I answered this already and was ready to post it but then erased everything. When I reread it to make sure it was alright, I said, “Yeah, okay, that’s really nice and positive and… I don’t like it.”  So, let me try again and get what’s really on my mind off my chest. 

Basically, there’s a difference between being positive and being fake, and that answer I gave you originally was fake. 

You guys know that I like to remain mostly positive about everything on this blog. I don’t tolerate hate towards each other or towards myself. I rarely answer hate anons, if ever. I don’t start shit with other blogs because they happen to disagree with me on one little thing. 

Yeah, I get mad about things and complain and be anything but positive when it comes to topics such as Mitch’s death, Lilly’s character just in general, the flaws with ep4′s ending, ect. If you’ve been here a while, you know what I’m talking about.

When I talk about positivity, I mean it more in a way that I like to focus on the good within the fandom while also discussing things I would’ve liked within the series or things I didn’t like and would’ve changed, certain ‘what if’ scenarios. I try to do these things with a kind and optimistic outlook while also allowing myself to be truthful in how I feel. 

What I’m trying to say is I try to be a good person on here. I try to be nice, respectful and encourage you guys to create good things within the community and get invested in these characters and other topics. 

However, I also firmly believe in honesty. 

You asked for my opinion on this topic? Okay. I’ve yet to ever give a fake answer and I’m not starting now. 

If you’re new here: Hello. My name is CJ and I am a Louis/Clouis blog who loves twdg and discussing all the different characters, ships, and story elements within the game. I’m about to talk about some stuff with full honesty that it may get me some hate but y’know what? I don’t care, we’re gonna discuss it anyway. 

What are my thoughts on the constant fight between Louis/Clouis and Violet/Violentine?

It’s a waste of time. 

There are so many talented people out there who are wasting their energy on sending hate to each other, making nasty posts about the developers, shitting on the characters and the community, and then constantly wondering why this fandom is so damn negative.

I made an instagram account a long time ago for this blog where I started posting my favorite screenshots of Louis and posts from this blog. I followed the #twdglouis and #clouis tags and was seeing a lot of great things until I wasn’t anymore. 

I don’t post on instagram anymore because it’s a shitshow of hate. What’s new in the #clouis tag? Violentine hate. What’s new in the #twdglouis tag? Violet hate. 

I don’t know if y’all know this, but if I’m in any of the Louis tags, it’s because I want to see some good Louis content. OBVIOUSLY.

I swear, if these people sat down, took ALL of that energy they’re using for this nonsense and put it towards the thing they claimed to love, we would have the most amazing content of any fandom out there. I would be able to check the louis tags every day and see brand new, beautiful artwork and read amazing stories. 

But no.

 As for your second question, that’s where my honesty really comes into play.

Do I think Louis and Violet’s routes are unequal?

Yeah, I do. 

I think Violet’s romance has a few more things to offer than Louis’.

When you go fishing with Violet and Brody, you don’t get a choice- you have to hang out with Violet. 

If you go hunting with Louis and Aasim, you have to choose Louis if you want to hang out with him. 

Brody mentions that she hasn’t seen Violet warm up to someone like she has Clem in a long time. 

Not a single person mentions anything about Louis in regards to Clem coming along. 

Violet stands up for Clementine in ep2 no matter what you do. She takes on the leader position and you can imply that she and Clementine spent the most time together during the two week time skip, making their romance feel more balanced and understandable.

Louis is still on iffy terms with Clementine and you can imply that they barely speak until their talk during the archery practice, making their romance feel rushed and questionable. 

Violet’s romance has a star gazing mini-game.

Louis’ romance does not have a mini-game. 

Violet makes Clementine a pin so that they can remember that night because it was easy to retexture one of Violet’s pin and have Clementine wear it.

Louis can’t give Clementine anything because the idea of a piano key necklace was scrapped even though they could’ve made a small model for it for her to wear. 

I’m sure there are more, and yeah if I’m being completely 100% honest with you? It does bother me sometimes and it’s okay if it bothers you, Anon. What really matters is what you do with those feelings. 

Because y’know what?

Just because I can play a mini-game in Violet’s route doesn’t make me like her more Louis, but it also doesn’t make me want to spam hate posts about her. 

Complaining and whining and talking shit about the developers because so many believe Violet is favored over Louis isn’t going to do anything. 

Melissa saying she prefers violentine doesn’t make me want to drop everything clouis because “Oh Melissa said it so it’s canon even though we went over this her word doesn’t mean anything.” 

Sterling not being on the commentary while Gideon is doesn’t mean anything. 

The ending stats don’t mean anything. 

The hateful people on here and instagram don’t mean anything. 

None of it means anything. 

The only thing that means something is you and how you deal with this.

Clouis is the love of my life, as I’ve said many times. 

I love Violet. I think she’s a great character and I appreciate the happiness she and violentine have brought to many people in our community. 

All the things listed above? They may bother me sometimes, but I can and have written fanfics that have solved this problem. I’ve talked with you guys about it, talked about how I will be forever bitter about a lack of piano mini-game while also sharing cute headcanons and gushing about the wonderful clouis moments we do get in canon. I’ve read amazing clouis fanfics and admired beautiful fanart. 

I don’t pick fights, I don’t write hate posts, I don’t shit on the devs [although I will admit that I’ve thrown my fair share of shade at Kent but that was over Mitch’s death so that’s completely different right? …Right?]  or throw little baby tantrums because someone said something I don’t like or someone doesn’t like Louis or WHATEVER. 

I focus on better things, like this blog, you guys, Louis, Clouis, and many other better things. 

Anon, as I’ve said before, all this nonsense is just that: nonsense and a waste of time. It’s okay to feel the way you do but I encourage you to take those feelings a create something better with them. If you, or anyone, ever want to talk about this more, feel free to DM me. If something like this is bothering you, I am more than happy to try and help you. 

Alright, that’s enough brutal honesty for one night. 

I don’t think I’ve ever admitted to thinking that about the different routes so I’m a little nervous about that, but I’m also not going to pretend that I think they’re equal just to remain neutral and “positive.” It’s actually kind of cathartic to get it off my chest… huh. 

God, I hope this post got across everything I tried to say because I don’t want to rewrite it again.

Also, drinking game: take a shot every time I say positive or a variation of honest. 

Unless your underage. Then use apple juice or something. 

I don’t know what I’m typing anymore ignore me

[winchesternova-k]

Why/how do you support "Dean" when he has nearly every major trait in which people dislike "John" for? And I genuinely have no aggression towards this question! I just want to get your take on this character.

tbh i rlly hate comparisons between dean and john fvgfvf bc i don’t think it’s fair when their dynamic is one of a victim and abuser but i’ll do my best to answer this fvgfvg idk how articulate i’ll be this bc i do have adhd. ik what i mean and i understand what my point is but whether anyone else will is anyone’s guess fvgfvg

largely in the early seasons dean’s picked up john’s toxic traits as a way of coping w his abusive/neglectful behaviour. in later seasons, dean doesn’t exhibit many of these traits in an unhealthy way, and when he does (which is rare) i usually put it down to the unhealthy coping mechanisms he has (more on that below) or bad writing bc there have been several times when i feel he’s been ooc (his early treatment of jack for example). there’s multiple posts abt these instances in my liveblog tag (“emily liveblogs spn”)

a lot of the issues i have w john stem from the way he puts his vengeance in front of his kids. dean never does that. in the recent seasons, there’s multiple occasions where he actually puts jack in front of his mission. john continually puts his kids in danger, on purpose. the episode w the strega comes to mind. he used his kids as bait and takes his anger out on dean when sam nearly gets killed. he doesn’t even tell them they’re bait. dean is absolutely terrified of sam getting hurt and of disappointing his father. i can’t remember dean ever doing anything like that to anyone let alone jack or ben.

john treats his kids like soldiers and possessions instead of y’know kids. he gives them “orders”. like parents obviously tell their kids what to do but this is whole different level tbh. they blame themselves when things go wrong bc “they didn’t follow orders”. there’s “wow maybe dad knew better and i should listen next time” and then there’s “dad gave me an order and things went wrong bc i ‘disobeyed’. i’m a bad person”. dean and sam experience the latter. on top of that when they disobey john gets rlly angry bc they’re not under his control. this is a classic abuser move and one that my abusers have used on me. dean doesn’t do this w anyone let alone any of the kids he’s been in charge of, including sam.

i mean dean straight up blames himself when they’re used as bait by demons to get to john in one episode. that’s not a reaction that comes from a healthy relationship. jack’s scared sometimes of disappointing his dads (and i think on one occasion of making dean angry), but dean’s v quick to reassure him that even if he’s done smth wrong they still care abt him. john never does that. and like i said, any negative thing resembling john w dean & jack’s dynamic i usually chalk up to bad writing bc parts of it are v inconsistent between eps and dean never acted this way before w ben. and that aside dean has no history of acting like john in those respects any other time.

when sam and dean need help, john doesn’t give it. he just lets them handle it alone, even when they think it could get them hurt, unless it could help w his overall vengeance. whenever someone needs dean’s help, he’s there. i’m rewatching s1 atm (coming straight off the back of not watching any spn for abt idk 3ish yrs, and then starting from last 2 eps of s12 to the most recent ep), and a major difference between dean and john is how they r towards sam. when sam wants to leave, john shouts at him and guilts him into staying and even disowns him. dean is clearly upset and short w him but he tries to be supportive. he doesn’t know what to say and ultimately he’s honest abt how he feels but he doesn’t want to make things hard for sam or hurt him or drive him away like john. he doesn’t want to control sam like john does. he just wants his brother around, but accepts that sam wants things to be different. ultimately i think if sam had gone back to college he would’ve accepted it and gotten used to a more functional relationship. that’s not to say that the winchester brothers relationship is healthy in early seasons bc it’s not. their relationship formed when they were being abused/neglected and dean literally raised sam, and he doesn’t rlly know how to get along w/o sam which is rlly rlly toxic. but it improves over the yrs bc neither of them want to keep living in that unhealthy cycle

w ben, his parenting model w him is completely different to john’s. he tries to keep him out of danger to the point of trying to keep him from knowing the truth until he absolutely has to. when he does the wrong thing by ben (which i’ll admit like john, is usually out of fear) he apologises and tries to make sure he doesn’t do it again. john never does either of these things.

idk if ur talking abt his drinking, etc.? if that’s (partly) what this is abt, they’re unhealthy coping mechanisms that dean has developed bc he doesn’t know how else to deal. he doesn’t do therapy and the influential figures in his life coped this way (bobby, john, etc.) and he would’ve copied it.

mostly i think john doesn’t want to improve. dean does. dean doesn’t want to hurt the ppl he loves and when he does he apologises, even tho it takes a while. that last part is smth i relate to as an abuse survivor, bc abuse makes it hard to admit when ur wrong bc it will be used against u, smth we know for a fact john did w both sam and dean. john is shown to care less abt hurting ppl he cares abt than whatever he’s chasing and i think he apologises like once? in the entire show. i mean dean even knows when he’s being possessed by a demon bc john’s nice to him and tells him he’s proud. sam even says he feels like nothing he ever does is good enough bc of john (smth i also experience due to abuse and neglect). dean’s never afraid to tell jack or ben when he’s proud of them.

john’s happy to hurt whoever he has to to achieve his mission and his revenge, even hurt or kill his kids. he doesn’t WANT to hurt them, but again the strega ep shows that the mission comes first. dean shows how different he is when he refuses to kill jack in the s14 finale. he’s angry and he wants revenge but he knows hurting jack is wrong. dean often goes headfirst into danger to protect others w little thought for his own safety. that’s partially a reaction to john’s treatment of him, but john used to drag his kids into that danger w him. ik sometimes when theyre older john tries to keep them away from it, but that’s when they’re old enough to choose (and he’s still not letting them). but when they were dependent on him, he straight up did not care whether they were in danger or not. not when his mission was at stake. when they’re older and can keep themselves out of danger, that’s when and only when he tries to keep them out of danger. it’s a control thing. john wants them under his thumb and to only do what he wants. jack is usually kept out of the situation unless it’s necessary, and ben was entirely except for one instance where it would’ve been more dangerous to keep him out of it. dean parents jack and ben but he doesn’t try to control them.

ig my main thoughts r that dean’s actions r that of an abuse survivor and developed to survive the situation whereas john’s r that of an abuser. dean’s negative actions usually r only intended to hurt himself whereas john’s r intended to hurt everyone. all up i think their traits seem similar on the surface, but deeper down dean’s v different to john. his negative traits tend to be self destructive rather than just destructive. it’s more ig that dean’s actions r different to john’s? idk if that makes sense fvgfvg but i think that dean treats ppl v differently to john. he tries not to hurt ppl but john doesn’t rlly seem to give a shit if he hurts ppl or not.

tldr; i don’t rlly think dean’s toxic traits are similar to john any further than on a superficial level. any time i’ve seen that (esp in recent seasons) has been a result of bad or inconsistent writing. dean’s also a better dad than john. john shows signs found in abusers and ones i saw in my own abusers; dean doesn’t.

[comicteaparty]

September 2nd-September 8th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from September 2nd, 2019 to September 8th, 2019.  The chat focused on Home is a Distant Wish by Jurinova.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Home is a Distant Wish by Jurinova~! (https://tapas.io/series/hiadw)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until September 8th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Given many of the characters deal with some sort of trauma, whose trauma stands out to you the most? What do you think the comic can show us in regards to how we deal with trauma in real life?(edited)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Do you think the Keld Ores can be trusted, or was Angelo right about him being dangerous? Why do you think Mute is sheltering him, and what consequences will the others face for bringing him to Mute?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Who do you think Roara is accused of having killed, and what does this have to do with her ex? How do you think she wound up friends with Cane, and what do you think her role in the story will be now that she’s free?

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene is probably the couch scene where Angelo and Kipu were getting intimate. It was nice to see this sort of character development since it was a stark contrast to how everything started. And I liked just how concrete it was despite both being kind of unsure where to take things. A lot of respect going around and just overall, the scene gave me warm fuzzies and gave me hope they could both have actual relationships with other ppl despite trauma. 2) I think Roara's trauma is what stood out the most to me. While only some people have to ever deal with the sort of physical issues like part of what Kipu suffers, I think everyone has been in some position to Roara's, at least on the level of being accussed of something they didn't do and being punished for it. That can be hardcore emotional trauma. In regards to what the comic can show us about dealing with trauma, I think that everyone handles it differently. Some people need revenge (even if that's not the healthiest), some people need time, some people need hugs, some people just want to be left alone, etc. Trauma manifests differently for everyone, and some people just handle it better than others. So ya gotta have patience and an open mind to spot it.

3) My favorite character is definitely Kipu. I like the concept that Kipu has to speak through text in short statements to convey whatever Kipu is trying to say. And I like to see how that, gestures, and other stuff are integrated to create a character who, while on the quieter side, can be just as vocal and opinionated as anyone else. Plus, I've enjoyed Kipu's backstory so far the most, cause Kipu strikes me as the most sympathetic so far.

4) I think Ores is kind of in between. Like I don't think Ores will randomly go murder hobo and is a nice person. But do I believe Ores is dangerous and is willing to kill to protect certain people's lives over others? Damn straight I do. Ores, regardless of the niceness, seems to have an agenda, and people will agenda's are generally gonn do some bad things in the name of those agendas. Mute...I'm gonna be honest. I get the impression Mute was paid to shelter Ores, but also secretly supports whatever it is Ores is trying to achieve. And I think this will come bite Mute in the butt when people come for Ores and probably destroy everything Mute has tried to build because desperation and murder don't mix well.

5) My favorite illustration so far is probably this city scape https://tapas.io/episode/1188947 I love the muted color scheme so that there can be glowing highlights, expressing the nightlife atmosphere that is taking over the city. I also love the variety in building shapes going on, cause it gives the place a lot of character as well. 6) I got the impression Roara was accused of killing her ex, perhaps by someone she knew and who had enough power to get away with it. And given it's her ex, Roara of course was prime suspect and its one of those cases where the police shrugged and didnt bother looking for anyone else. Given Roara's personality, I feel like she took pity on Cane when Cane first showed up at the prison and just kind of mother henned/big sistered herself in there out of pity. And then that pity turned to a lot of love and care to want to protect Cane who seemes kind of innocence. As for her future role, I get the impression she's gonna be on the wrong side of the law cause she seems like she'd go where Cane goes, and Cane is probably gonna switch side at the rate the flashbacks are going. XD

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Why do you think the Keld are attacking people and causing destructive and deadly incidents? What does this have to do what the senators are doing that is supposedly very risky?

Attila Polyák

Finally I got around to reading a comic here... 1, Llama alien family visit! The entire visit there is just so wholesome, even though they are clearly in a rather rough situation. And they are soo adorable. 2, There's a... I'd prefer not to. So with the first part of the question unceremoniously skipped. People are different. Their circumstances, good and bad, are also different. It's no surprise that people react to the same event(s) differently. People can, and most often do, try to understand each other but seeing and understanding how someone else deals with negativity in general in life is very iffy. You are not them, you might on an intellectual level understand that something really bad happened to them, but without their experiences and way of thinking... The best you can do is try which I guess doesn't sound too promising, but it's still a lot better than being left in the darkness. 3, Kipu. He's awesome! His way of communicating, his backstory (or what we know about it so far), his choice of clothes. Everything about him is just so intriguing. I'm looking forward to learning more about his past the most. 4, I think Ores is dangerous, but despite that he can still be trusted. He feels like someone who can go to extreme lengths for what he believes in. And I think This is the reason why Mute shelters him. Their longer term goals I feel are not the same, but I also think those goals might align one way or another.

snuffysam

1) I agree with @RebelVampire - the scene where Angelo and Kipu are opening up to each other is my favorite. It's just beautiful to see how far they've come since the start of the story! For the record, that's also my answer to (7). Angelo is of course a sass-master to Kipu, but it's the moments where Kipu returns fire that really sell the relationship. For 6) - while I agree Roara probably became friends with Cane because she wanted to protect him, I also get the impression that she has also been bailed out by Cane a couple times. Perhaps she tangled with someone too big for her and Cane had her back?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. What do you think Angelo/Kilene’s relationship with Prince is, and what exactly is Prince trying to protect Angelo/Kilene from? What is Angelo/Kilene’s story in general, and what is the patch showcased several times in the story?

RebelVampire

7) I definitely enjoy seeing Kipu and Angelo interact the most. Once again, I really like the development that goes with their relationship as they find common bonds despite basically despising each other beginning. And character growth is fun to watch. 8) I get the impression that the Keld know what the senators are up to and are trying to get people's attention and stop it. And people only pay attention when things get crappy, or something like that. As for what the senators are doing, I'm not entirely sure. Although I'm sure it's very illegal whatever it is, probably gonna chop down some liberties. Maybe they're secretly genociding the Keld or something like that. Either way, don't trust politicians.

9) I really love some of the details for the world building. For example, how different species have different naming structures. It's just one of those nice little details that really makes a species feel like a different species that developed its own non-earth culture. And it's details like these a lot of people neglect since they aren't always that important. Still, it's really great to see and adds some depth to the world. 10) I get the impression that Angelo and Prince dated before and had a mutual split. Maybe due to potential family pressures. That or they're brothers. One of the two. Either way they give off the vibe they were close and known each other for years. I get the impression that Angelo ran away though, and Prince is protecting Angelo from the repercussions from that. As for Angelo's story in general, maybe a rich kid, got into drugs, had health issues, rebelled against family. He strikes me very much as the type to have rebelled against everyone cause he didn't want to fit anybody's mold.

Attila Polyák

5, The funeral sequence is probably my favorite illustration (as morbid as that sounds). https://tapas.io/episode/522887 Just not just shows how funeral ceremonies are held, but also how important that death was in the earlier parts of the comic. The page not just looks great but also enhances previous pages by giving extra context. It's both beautiful in a grandiose way and plot important. 6, I absolutely agree with @RebelVampire about Roara. I think she's accused of killing her ex, however that couldn't be further from the truth. As for Cane. I just feel like he's a person who's willing to listen (pun absolutely intended, sorry I'm a bad person). Most people wouldn't want to be associated with someone who killed a significant other, Cane, however, I feel like not just listened to her, but believed her, and thus their friendship was formed.(edited)

Attila Polyák

7, That's a bit odd. I'm not really much of a fan of Angelo, yet whenever he interacts with literally anyone it's just... I donno, somehow charming and interesting. 8, When I read the talk about the risky stuff the senators are doing I for some reason almost immediately jumped to the conclusion that they are trying to build the Sybil System from Psychopass or something very similar. I think it's rather understandable why some would be against a system that judges you for stuff you didn't do and makes your most important life decisions instead of you (not that there are no advantages to a system like that but you know... the downsides are also obvious).  Aaaand... While I have no rational reason to expect this to be the case, I still do and I also have a feeling that the Kled know about this somehow and are trying to prevent it. Probably one of their leaders was scouted for this plan and this leader said no. Thus the Kled had an opportunity to know about what's going to happen and they believed it, but the rest of the world didn't and that's because of a simple reason: The senat obviously has power, possibly enough to turn the truth into a ridiculed rumor.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What do you think happened to Kipu and Naia, especially given they both have severe physical trauma? Overall, what do you think will be the consequences of Kipu and Cane/Naia reuiniting for everyone else in the story?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Now that Prince is free to pursue Ores, what do you think will happen to Nkapu and the rest of the crew? Will they be able to get out of the situation, or will their deeds catch up to them? In general, where do you think the story goes from here?

Attila Polyák

9, What stuck me most is how architecture looks. Yes it's futuristic as it's expected to be, but different locations, cities, villages in different places look well... Different. 10, I have the feeling that they were together in the past, both from a relatively wealthy background, but Angelo somehow thumbled down the social ladder around the same time when they broke up. Ultimately I feel like the two are unrelated, and Prince is still trying to support Angelo one way or another. 11, The scenery is gorgeous. Especially the colors during sunset/sunrise. Really eye catching. Actually... Not just the landscapes, but backgrounds in general are really well drawn and just good to look at. 12, I'm really unsure, but I have a feeling the connected events in their past happened while Kipu was attending the academy. 13, Kipu's backstory. I usually am a sucker for good backstories, but since his seems to conenct to the rest of the story in multiple different points I'm genuinely curious how both his relationships and the past events turn out. 14, In short I feel Prince will successfully go after Ores and a confrontation seems to be inevitable. However I'm really unsure as to the extent of this confrontation. Like... Mute is ultimately not just the captain of a ship, but basically the leader of a small city. We clearly see that Prince is in command of a lot of people, but Mute and co also seem to be a more than just a few and while they are not as well equipped as Prince. At this point I feel like the real question is, how much is Ores worth and how far are they willing to go to get him.

RebelVampire

11) In my opinion the strength is probably the mesh between world and characters. When it comes to world-building, that can be an intense process. The more you develop, the more the "character" of the world can be to overshadow the actual characters. However, this comic finds a great balanced between being detailed yet having the story strictly remain about the character's and their struggles. Which creates an all around better reading experience. 12) Honestly, Kipu and Naia probably got into a war since ya know, that's kind of what they're training for. And no one expects war to be as shit as it usually turns out to be. So probably big devastating battle where everyone was scattered and everyone was just assumed dead. As for consequences about them reunited, I don't think any of Kipu's friends will care, but I think it's gonna be a big deal for Roara. She doesn't strike me as the trusting kind of person.

13) I am actually looking forward to seeing where Angelo goes from here since the comic pulled a red herring and Kipu's group is more or less probably gonna ditch Angelo now (since most never liked Angelo anyway). So I want to see what Angelo's role will transform to be now. 14) Everybody is screwed. That is what's going to happen. Things will come to a head cause Mute's group, and by association Nkapu's group, don't send a chance even if the might be able to runaway for a while. And I think this will drive Ores into a corner and cause much destruction and feelings of regret.

Jurinova

Hey, author of HiaDW here! Just wanted to drop by and say that reading all these comments has been wonderful and very insightful! It's interesting to see how different people read different characters and situations, not to mention how spot on some of the analysis were. Thank you so much to all who read the comic and commented!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Home is a Distant Wish this week! Please also give a special thank you to Jurinova for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Home is a Distant Wish, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/hiadw

Jurinova’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jurinova

Jurinova’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/jurinova

Jurinova’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/jurisaur

[krokonoko]

Doin one of my play by plays of the Pokemon movies.

It’s been a while since the last one! That’s cuz chronologically, we should do the 3rd one next, but the 3rd one is my fav and I’d rant for hours about how good it is and ain’t nobody got time for that, so we gonna skip straight to the fourth one.

I always remembered the fourth movie decidedly unfavorably. It’s categorized in my head as “the one that started the era of Pokemon movies that suck.”

And yeah it’s. Not as good as its predecessors. It was the movie that started the formula of “cute helpless legendary Pokemon needs to be saved from evul ppl.” It was the first one starring Ash’s new German voice actress, which was a big reason for me to stop watching the anime back in the day cuz WOW that new voice was the most grating thing in existence.

But looking back, I feel like I did the movie injustice. I think it’s got a lot of neat moments, and some that I honestly love, if only for their silliness. So let’s do this.

We start with music rehashed from the first movie. Not a good look, though that’s probably 4Kids fault.

GOD that cgi is ugly. And even worse, it was already back in the day!! There was never a time when this looked good.

wow thanks lady that looks gross af

those are some big ass nidoran

Oh no, the evil guy is weakening Celebi in order to catch it...! ...Wait that’s what we’re doin all day long in the games.

Honestly, it never made sense to my why the plot of the anime was so often revolving around keeping people from catching wild Pokemon? I mean I guess Team Rocket wants to use them for bad things, but Ash & Co. usually justified them keeping Team Rocket from catching wild Pokemon with accusations like “These Pokemon don’t belong to you!” ...bitch, yeah, they don’t belong to you either, they don’t belong to anyone, that’s why we’re catching them, that’s the entire purpose of the goddamn franchise?

And if the problem here is that this guy wants to catch a legendary Pokemon, then why am I required to catch legendaries to advance the plot in the games?

The cutest fucking Tyranitar.

What IS this guy’s outfit. Also will you believe me if I tell you it took me over 15 years to figure out this dude is a Team Rocket member?

“The Pokemon I catch with these balls become evil, and their powers are immediately maximized.”

Ah sure that sounds scientific and only slightly OP.

The title screen doesn’t exactly help the impression that this movie is severely half-assed, even if it’s made by 4Kids.

I also think it’s really funny that the English name of the movie is this run of the mill punny 4Kids bs. I mean. 4Kids. 4Ever. Wow. What ingenuity. And the German translation team took a look at that and went “NOPE, not doin it”, and called it “The timeless encounter”.

We’re about to see a Croconaw!!! :DDD

Will I ever be over the fact that Brock’s cute tiny Zubat evolved into a badass Crobat while I wasn’t looking? Nah.

Ah there it is, Ash’s new voice... You gotta understand, I had this huge crush on Ash when I was ~10yo, and his voice was a big part of that. So when it got replaced, I didn’t exactly take it well. Also the new one was doin its best to be even more grating than the English one. THEN AGAIN, the voice actress actually isn’t that bad in this movie and Mewtwo Returns.

HE.

No one knows how to actually pronounce Suicune until you hear someone else say it in a certain way and you go “NO that’s NOT how you say it!!”

I love how the old lady with the green hair is revealed to be the guardian of the entry to the forest since she was young. It’s just so funny how we just saw her jump about 30 foot off a tree as a teenager when Sammy was about to enter the forest, and go like “/game grumps zelda voice/ heeey kid, s’just a legend or whatever, but timetravel, it’s a thihiiing! Here, have some bread! byeee!” And then the kid vanished, and now she’s this grumpy old hag who waves her staff at everyone coming past her house like “DON’T EVEN FUCKING DARE GETTING CLOSE TO THAT FUCKING FOREST OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL KICK YUR ASS!!”

babies babies bABIES

That Stantler is fucking legendary. Idk how it is in the English version, but in the German dub, it’s just got the most normal voice. Like, often the ppl voicing Pokemon will kind of talk in a hissing tone, or make their voice sound deeper or whatever, but this Stantler sounds like a completely normal dude just matter-of-factly stating: “Damhir. Plex.”

And instead of, idk, holding Celebi into the water at the edge, Sammy walks into the lake, clothes and backpack and everything, and squats there like a tool. I mean I get it, the imagery is much stronger like this, but couldn’t he at least taken off the shoes? The backpack? THAT’S GOT HIS NOTEBOOK IN IT???

I love them. Every single one of them is so valid.

Nothing to see here, just a pretty shot.

I really like these old anime glow effects~

The best part about Celebi healing Misty’s knee is how she doesn’t just slowly try to put weight on it or something, but straight up jumps around on it. Ride or die, man.

This is one of my fav moments in the entire movie, cuz you got Celebi cruisin around in the foreground, and the boys sitting there, looking at the viewer with this exact vacant stare for multiple seconds without making a noise or moving.

You know, I mean... the first two Pokemon movies were some pretty basic stuff. Esp. The second one was really just a McGuffin hunt. But this one is just such a poster child for the plot that would be recycled in Pokemon movies like no other. The entire narrative has completely halted. All we are doing is watching Ash, Sammy and Celebi bond. There are no stakes and no tension, except for the fact that the Pokemon hunter is still on the lose but he’s so forgettable, who honestly even still cares about him?

And the thing is, this bonding between Ash, Sammy and Celebi is important so they can save Celebi from turning evil later, but it still rings kinda hollow what with the montage they’re getting of all the fun times they had for the last, say two hours?

The much more important thing, which puts this movie a bit ahead of most other Pokemon movies with this structure, is that Ash isn’t just bonding with the legendary of the week, but also with Sammy.

And Sammy isn’t just a bff of the week, but an established core cast character. Imho, that’s what makes the movie worthwhile.

The dumb thing about this is that Celebi didn’t even get corrupted for any good reason. It was literally just “yeah it was in that weird pokeball for a sec now it’s evil.” ^^°

cgicune

I remember first watching this movie and this was the point where I honestly started hating it because I was so disgusted by how unimaginative everything about this... ball? is...

yeah no, this is just. really really bad.

OKAY here’s another thing. WHY did Suicune turn up now?

On the one hand I do realize I like this movie more than I thought I did. On the other hand I’m starting to see why it was such a problem for me back then. This movie is just trying to copy formulas from the prior ones without really. Working for it. Remember Lugia and Ash working together? Lugia saving Ash and all that? Wasn’t that cool?

Yeah but there was also a reason for WHY Lugia stepped in and WHY they helped Ash. It was Lugia’s task to step in in case the three birds started fighting. And Ash was the chosen one. It’s flimsy as fuck, but it worked.

What’s Suicune’s connection to all of this? They’re... sorta like... another guardian of the forest. Cool. Then why didn’t they step in the moment the hunter attacked Celebi? There’s no real reason for them to save Ash and Sammy, except for the fact that they’re protags and they need plot shield.

Everything about the writing in this movie makes it so obvious even to a young teenager that this is just ticking boxes.

The thing is, the first three movies had at least one character developing. It took a human’s sacrifice for Mewtwo to learn the value of life, both of the life of others and their own. In the second movie, Ash had to live up to the responsibility of being the chosen one. And the third movie is just amazing and Molly is a really interesting character, she overcomes a deep grief and learns that escapism is not the answer to her problems and it’s just all around the best Pokemon movie of all time it’s got so much emotional depth idek where to start.

But here... Who learned anything? Who developed? And I think that’s where later Pokemon movies fall short. There’s not a lot of character development, and even if there is any, it just rehashes of the old movies. And while I couldn’t have put it into words like that when I was a young teen, I think that’s part of what bothered me so much about this one. 

Also what’s with this bs talk about the lake being polluted or the forest dying? A couple of trees got uprooted and there’s a bit of dirt, honest to god nothing but soil and stuff, in the lake. Give it a couple of months and it’s gonna be fine. It’s not like there’s toxic waste in the water or anything.

I mean you could say the forest is dying cuz Celebi is dying, but by the logic of the movie, it was the other way around! And honestly, nothing in the background even looks like its wilting at ALL. So this really doesn’t leave much of an impression.

Fuck this, this is not earned.

At this point, the hunter guy is just bullying Celebi.

And this little overpowered dingdong can’t even free itself from some dude grabbing it. Okay sure so Ash needs to save it againnnn what are the emotional stakes hereee

ANYWAY. It was all worth it for the only actual plot twist in the history of Pokemon movies:

And I actually really, really like this one. It’s not just an awesome twist but also a super sweet moment between Ash and Prof. Oak that deepens their bond.

So yeah, I think I already said everything I had to say about this one. Kind of the beginning of the end for Pokemon movies. Not saying there aren’t some winners in between, but man did they get formulaic. And the recent attempts to break up said formula are. Questionable at best. It seems like Pokemon can’t really escape itself, though I’m sure if they wanted they could create meaningful stories like the first or third movies or just solid, fun action movies like the second one again.

[bastard-man]

s13:

hi okay i kept talking in the tags on my last post so here is more about s13 predictions ig

like i said we all know den literally can't function without mac it's been proven several times in the show

CLEARLY in mac & dennis break up

& my thought is how this will affect s13

so like,,,they're lying if they're gonna try & pretend like dennis can actually cope w/o mac if anything i think he needs him more than ever rn. even if dennis miraculously developed quickly & amazingly enough 2 be a dad that doesn't change how much he depends on mac. boy couldn't live without him in s5, and he was still like, okay then? obviously none of these characters r okay but i've seen only a few ppl mention dennis in the latest seasons. consequently mac seems happier this past season especially now that he's out which is great (i mean then u have DDL & then that kinda shattered but let's not mention that rn) but like we know dennis has been like,,,ragin' a lot more & he was diagnosed in s10 & we haven't really seen him happy in awhile like compared 2 earlier seasons when he seemed more calm & happy. what he thinks he needs is to leave his old life behind but what he actually needs, probably, is the gang rn more than ever but ofc he's not gonna admit that! so he run!

there's a number of reasons why i can't see them letting den be gone for any length of time but the main one being that it just doesn't make sense? like frank said u can't just go be a dad & he was right, & even if i think dennis could be capable of that it's obvious he's getting Worse & to be away from his friends, his family rn is not gonna help that, especially when we know he would be miserable in ND which is literally essentially what he says in 10.01 when he gets off the plane. i'm not a dumbass who thinks he's a sociopath & i know he has big feelings but i still don't see this being a situation where a child is magically the thing 2 crack dennis & fix all his problems

so like, there's my argument based on just the POV of the setting. now let's go back 2 den himself. like i said it definitely seems like he's getting worse, & him admitting that he has feelings was a huge, pivotal thing for him especially to admit that to the entire gang. from there they could use that to finally get den's character to open up a lil more & not try to suppress everything which i think is essentially why he seems worse? he wants to be one way & not feel & it's affecting him as it has over the years. we also know from mac, that he's been distant w him. whether u ship them or not they have a connection that's different from all the rest. so mac senses that den is acting different& like pushing him away, & we know it's not bc he's gay cuz den always knew that. this is where theories come into play, cuz it could have to do w den's feelings & trying to push the gang away so that he can pretend everything is okay which i think is a reasonable guess, or if u wanna add another layer to that there's also been the mention of him being uncomfortable with mac being out because now he's scared of mac's feelings & his own feelings.

it could be bc of the thing b/w them, or just the different connection that they have, but mac is the only one who says anything about dennis being distant. so is he only being distant w mac, or do the others just not notice bc they're not mac? either way mac is the one who notices & he's gonna be the first one to notice things going on w dennis. den has been like on a downward spiral almost & i think the RPG & brian jr just brought that to a head, & he runs, supposedly 2 deal w the latter. (i'm sorry i'm referring 2 a fuckin baby like it's a war crime but i don't evenl like them anyway so it's fine)

like depending on how u wanna interpret it, RPG=dennis realizing how he feels about mac, or how mac feels about him, or just the fact that he was all upset about vday only 2 find out mac got him what he wanted more than anythin & it didn't even matter 2 him that there wasn't a rocket bc it was the gesture so i mean interpret that how u will but FEELINGS

& then brian jr=who he apparently knew about but only becomes a problem bc mandy all of a sudden decides 2 show up & also thinks he's someone else so i really still don't understand some of the logic behind this event but anyhow. he's like noticeably v on edge this ep bc he literally had no idea how 2 get out of it & then all of a sudden he's like wait no i don't want to, but that's not the only thing? pretending to be in a relationship w mac & mac telling him he wanted 2 fake it & raise the kid w him was obviously also adding onto that & still his response was "im not gonna PRETEND to be in a relationship w u for the entirety of my child's life" so again interpret that how u will but...obviously we know he decides 2 go raise brian jr

but he's not gonna be able to do that. not bc he's not capable. i'd like 2 point out he left everyone & everything behind including his RPG & his beloved range rover, so i mean he prob left everything at his apartment too. (i have some theories bout this but it is not the time for those) like his car. is still in philly. his decision is made essentially on a whim after a moment w his kid & like an existential crisis while his friends danced around him bc up until that point he just didn't wanna deal w it

so it could've been like a few hours b/w those scenes but it's still a pretty impulsive decision considering it's a child, a new state you don't even like, a lovely woman ur not interested in, and leaving your friends, family, job, and entire life back in philly. maybe he also thinks it'll help him w his feelings. but he's been repressing shit for at least 12 years that we've seen (we know it's been longer like prob his whole life) & noticeably been getting worse, gives a sudden revelation to his friends about his feelings, & then leaves. that's not...okay. like we know they all have trauma & ridiculously unhealthy coping mechanisms but even if u take everything else away he's not gonna be happy having suppressed all his emotions and problems & then leaving having barely dealt with them w the others at all.

especially mac, who's a huge part of this which u can't deny even if u don't ship them. now i do so like my comments are gonna sway a bit more but i think it'll still work even if u don't agree w me on that aspect. personally i think there could be some sort of parallel there about how mac has gotten happier, while dennis has been more unhappy? like mac comes out & u could even argue dennis being jealous & acting that way bc he wants 2 come out & he's been suppressing that for so long but he's still not at a place rn to do it. or even the fact that mac feels more open & free to be himself while dennis feels the complete opposite & if anything has felt like repressing things even more, while mac mentions being sensitive (12.08 hints he feels more free 2 be sensitive now that he's out & doesn't have 2 worry about being so masculine so that he won't be called gay) & dennis mentions his big feelings but he's still not rlly talking about anything bc i mean u don't really just reveal everything suddenly. so especially in that regard he definitely needs mac.

like not only bc of their connection but bc he depends so much on mac & now mac feels more open & honest & i really think den needs to be around him more, not pushing him away (which could also be why) bc he needs to see how much happier mac is & how he's changed & maybe it'll help him open up more, & if anything mac would probably be the best one for him to do that w anyway.

i'm also gonna mention my sort of views on some ways den could come back: now considering his car was still there i think it could even be possible that mac goes home to their apartment to find that dennis is still there, maybe just waiting or maybe packing, who knows. them blowing up the range rover & using the RPG without him only to find that he hadn't left yet, or at all is definitely something i could see happening (& i know this is a more serious post about den but come on i think we'd all laugh @ that) or the thing i definitely see happening is the gang talking in the bar, who knows how long it's been (maybe a day, maybe a few months) & all of a sudden dennis strolls in and says nothing, walks behind the bar & grabs a beer while the others just stop talking and stare. cue title card "dennis is back" (tbh this is one of the most realistic ones i think & i know glenn mentioned it might be funny if he just didn't come back at all but i think this is vastly more funny & in keeping w the show i mean come ON) or there's like the sad part. this again could depend on how u wanna view things. but if u look at it as dennis going on a downward spiral, only for him to kinda hit rock bottom w the RPG & brian jr. (which isn't even a theory that's literally what happened) then we know this isn't good. it's not a typical situation where they leave on good terms, or they leave happy because we know he wasn't happy. we know he initially didn't want this & isn't ready & we know he hates north dakota, & we also know it's not like he's in love w mandy or anything no matter how nice she seemed, as the person he was closest to was: mac. so it's not like he's really leaving for a better lifestyle either necessarily, because he may have mentioned envisioning himself getting married & having a kid but we saw how it went when he married someone he didn't love, and how he again was unable to function without mac, and it's obviously not how anyone plans on those things happening, & if they did have him settle down w mandy which i do not see ever happening we know he'd literally be settling.

so for him to have been going through a rough patch, to hit an extremely low point & then walk away from his friends, is not going to end well. he hit that low point & is now leaving without dealing with any of his problems because his focus is on fixing one of them: the kid, but also how he was affected by frank because he doesn't want the kid to grow up in that same way. so he thinks that's the most important issue, because he also likes to pretend he doesn't have any other ones, & thinks this is the thing he needs to deal with and everything will be fine. but he didn't deal with anything else, he's only bringing those problems with him, to north dakota, to mandy, to the kid, to his "new life." so if anything he's only gonna be more miserable and he won't even have mac there w him, who he literally depends on to function & considering he's only getting worse being w/o mac is the last thing he needs even if he thinks, or wants to believe that that's exactly what will help. idk how they're gonna deal w him being gone, if he's gone for any length of time or anything, but my point is if he's stated to be gone for months or something like that i'm pretty sure he's gonna come back at the worst we've ever seen him because he was only without mac for hours before he realized he had no idea what to do & they were only, what, a few miles away? part of all this is that he's codependent but that is most heavily dealing with mac. s5 dennis was still doing pretty okay, considering. so him not functioning without mac was just pathetic. s12 dennis has been a mess & him being without mac at arguably his lowest point is kind of scary to think about.

[moiraineswife]

Can you expand on the Geralt, Regis, and Philippa being autistic? I'm intrigued...

Yes friend. Yes I can. As it happens I’ve already talked about Phil at length here, but I got distracted by…Life before I could get to the boys. So I’ll do that now. Much like Phil’s this isn’t going to be very ordered….Or detailed, unfortunately, bc I can’t remember everything I wanted to say on the subjects, and I don’t have the spoons to go trawling through the books atm. 

This is all, also, entirely book based, because I’ve never played the games (I just occasionally reblog gifsets here bc a)- pretty, b)- CONTENT and c)- oh look nice visual representations of my children) but idk what’s going on there. 

Regis: 

Regis presents some potential vague problems with the autistic thing bc he’s not human…but as I’m not suggesting all higher vampires are automatically autistic, and because I love my dear awkward bean, I don’t really care and we’re pressing on with haste. 

-Okay, okay, the biggest/my favourite thing for this hc with Regis is his habit of infodumping/overexplaining EVERYTHING. He either just gets really into it/excited about Sharing His Knowledge, or else he can’t filter what of all the many things bouncing around in his brain are actually important (bc they are all important) so he just says everything meanwhile the hansa are all just ‘Regis pls we got the point ten minutes ago STOP TALKING’ And he knows he does this, and he’s tried so many times to get a hold on it and stop but it just…It’s not happening. 

-Regis having special interests in herbs/plants, particularly if they can be used for medicinal purposes…Or making moonshine. He’s had several lifetimes to Indulge this interest and he pretty much knows everything about everything. 

-He has a pretty distinctive pattern of speech. And I like the idea that his Extreme Authentic Regis-Flavoured Politeness that’s a fairly staple part of his character is something that’s developed over the years, first from a coping type mechanism bc the politer he was, the harder it was to accidentally say something wrong and offend someone, and eventually transitioned into an internal rule so this is now just the way he is/has to be. 

-Kind of a combination of the above point and the first: Regis explaining things in ways he thinks are very clear and explicit (while also maintaining the necessary politeness rules) but everyone around him is just ???? regis wut???? 

-Regis calling himself a coward when it comes to combat situations because he doesn’t know how else to explain the fact that he freezes up and panics in these situations (the dude basically cannot die, okay, this isn’t a mortality fear, but there’s something going on). The truth is, though, that battles are sensory hell, too much noise, too much feeling, too much visual stimulation too much and he can’t deal with it (sweet bean) 

-I like Regis being on the other end of the empathy spectrum to, say, Philippa, and being hyperempathetic (which I think fits him fairly well - I mean….The guy is an immensely powerful, centuries old higher vampire….and he spends his time chilling, making moonshine for passing strangers, and being a bloody barber surgeon and helping people with his vast wealth of Knowledge. And also the way he responds to, say, the girl in the village when he performs the whole fire miracle thing to save her, despite the fact it’ll expose him, because he just nope, not having this. And he feels things so deeply, he CARES so much, he’s such a good soul, this suits him well) 

-Okay but in contrast to that Regis is pretty fucking unflappable. He doesn’t really do big displays of emotion very well, and tends to approach most things with Logic. (See: that moment in LotL when Geralt is like ‘okay ppl we have a job we are LEAVING’ and the hansa just explodes into action and rushes off to hop to it. Meanwhile Regis sits there, chill as you please, just like…yes, okay Geralt, an explanation if you please, I require Reasons before I leap into action thank you very much) And he’s got that expected ‘comes across as pretty withdrawn/composed’ thing going on too.

Geralt: 

Geralt, like Regis, presents a few slightly thorny problems bc a lot of the things that read as traits for him are muddled up with the whole witcher mutations…but again…i Relate too much to care, and I’m too tired to get into a debate with myself concerning this, so onwards and upwards… 

-I feel like he’s somewhere in the middle of the empathy spectrum. Like you’ve got Phil who’s just…None and doesn’t give af, Regis that’s just like *feels everything so much and vibrates with it* and then Geralt’s in the middle where he….Can’t really read people’s emotions very well, but there’s also a fairly large heaping of compassionate empathy in there, in that he WANTS to help people he just…Doesn’t quite understand them very well? So he’s like…Trying His Best on the empathy front. (bless) 

-Geralt kind of going the opposite direction that Regis went with the talking/socialising thing. Where Regis is really polite/long-winded to kind of compensate and attempt to cover all bases, Geralt is just...To the point. Blunt. Says what he’s thinking/what he means. Doesn’t have time for anyone who does anything other than that. He gave up trying to riddle out manipulation/lies long ago. Either talk simply, or don’t talk at all. 

-Geralt repeatedly being like ‘what is this feeling I am experiencing?’ *prods it uncertainly* which has a name: alexithmiya, and is Great Fun btw. 

-Let’s be honest here, he’s really not the world’s biggest emoter. That isn’t to say that he doesn’t have emotions/doesn’t feel (ofc he does) he’s just really not very good at showing it. 

-Absolutely less than zero, well into negative figures here, interested in politics. There’s too much lying, too much manipulation, too many games, too many exhausting little factions and social rules and nuances to try and figure out and he is decidedly Too Old For This Shit. 

-Same vein: hates spies/spying. Can’t be doing this with all this under the table, betraying, two-faced bullshit. Wasn’t made for it, can’t be fucked with it, stop doing it, please and thank you. 

-Geralt transcending the typical autistic realms of same!clothes/same!food and heading into the territory of same!name: every horse I have ever, or will ever, own is called Roach. Nice and simple. 

-His witcher medallion ending up being a comfort object because of how constant/present it is. It’s a nice weight, and it probably doubles as a stim toy tbh because the spiky bits can get rubbed between fingers. 

-Geralt having very set Internal Rules/demonstrating black and white thinking. He’s very firm about these sorts of things in the games, things along the lines of not killing dragons/intelligent beasts etc, etc. But also his views on neutrality/not taking part/wanting to be removed from what’s happening (these do change slightly, but it takes a damn long time) 

-I can make an argument for Geralt being change resistant/struggling to adapt without too much trouble. He does the same thing day in day out and has done for years, and doesn’t seem in any great hurry to stop doing that. 

-Literally every speech Geralt makes to the hansa is just...Geralt. Child. Ur trying. But lead by action, okay? 

I could go on but...that’ll do for now. (also this took 16 years to answer and I apologise for that I hope your intrigue didn’t die in the intervening time D:) 

[rearima]

TG:re 126

Long post with all my thoughts/meta on this chapter. Talking about Yoriko, Mutsuki, Aura, Ui, Touka/Kaneki, Centipede-kun. Wrote part of this last week, finishing it super late now. But still counts as long as tgre 127 isn’t out yet :P

So Yoriko is fine and the hand was fake afterall. Touka’s “So that hand was fake all along” means that she actually didn’t know whether or not Yoriko really was in Mutsuki’s hand or how she was doing/alive. Makes me wonder what actions she would have taken if the wedding didn’t happen and also how much she actually talked to Kaneki about this matter, seeing that she was only thinking to herself about how the hand was fake and Kaneki didn’t make any impression that’d suggest that he knew about the severity of the situation. I mean, she could’ve just told him that she’s heard rumors that Yoriko was getting married to an investigator and asked Kaneki to bring her there so she could at least see her best friends wedding from afar. I’ve talked about this before, as I was wondering what actions she’d take to save Yoriko and how she didn’t open up about it to Kaneki so he had no idea what was going on. Now, the Yoriko situation seems to be solved surprisingly easy but I highly doubt (and hope) this isn’t the end of this conflict. Yoriko is a very important person in Touka’s life and her character development and it’s still an unsolved issue as Touka has been running away from it, to protect Yoriko but also fearing what Yoriko would think of her when she learns that she’s a ghoul (would she think that Touka’s a ‘monster’? - we know how it’s something that has been haunting Touka). (Btw, why hasn’t anyone brought out that Uta joke aka ‘What if Yoriko actually was Uta in disguise’ this time lol…)

that part about Mutsuki and Urie was something I was really pleased to see. I’ve been wondering for some time now about Mutsuki’s bond and feelings towards others (that are not Kaneki). Because of their past and then seeing how they went quite psycho, I began to wonder how much they actually cherish the other ppl around them. Also wondered about the nature of their special bond with Urie. AND the question that has been floating around lately: Is Mutsuki redeemable? And I kinda got my answers in this chapter? First things first: Urie got friendzoned really hard.

He is that one special person that is particularily close to Mutsuki: 1. both know each others ‘secrets’ (see auction raid, where they saw his vulnerable side and he discovered their biological gender) 2.Mutsuki was very open to him, talking about their wishes/feelings/thoughts and how they are tasked with the Oggai and even admitting to be in love with their former mentor and that they went to :re and 3. throughout the whole conversation I think it was very sincere and calm and sane on Mutsuki’s part. There was no acting, no facade. They’re still hiding things from Urie but…When was the last time I’ve seen this calm side of Mutsuki? 4. It shows the deep trust Mutsuki has for Urie. To actually trust others - this is really big deal for Mutsuki considering all the things they experienced and their current mental state. And we know they also care a lot about how Urie views them. Despite all, Mutsuki was worried about how to explain things to Urie when they attacked Akira on Rushima. It seems like Mutsurie is everything but just not romantic haha… (but my ship is still alive ok) Moving on to their bonds with others: Mutsuki expressed that they just wished that they all return to their former home (oh how I always get triggered by this word lol). And since I assume they’re not lying, I think it shows that they do cherish the others and holds dear the good old times they spend together. Kaneki is someone they clutch on, but he isn’t the only thing that matters and even if the priorities are very clear there, it still is interesting to see that there are other things that genuinely matter to Mutsuki, even after all that’s happened. - And that brings me to the question whether Mutsuki is redeemable. The things I’ve seen in this chapter from Mutsuki are shining a more positive light on this character. They didn’t actually hurt Yoriko (probably also because it’d cause lots of trouble) and mentioned that Bujin looked happy and she looked pretty and wondered if any of them would find such happiness. And I think I saw a genuine soft and good side of them shine through there. Also, it’d be easier for Ishida do redeem this character if they didn’t do anything to Yoriko because otherwise many would call bullshit and how this character is way too far gone to make any way of redemption tolerable. While it’s true that if we were completely honest and unbiased, then we’d pretty much have to judge this character just as strictly as we judge Torso, but we mostly don’t and that’s just how it is, as we (or at least I) feel more sympathetic towards Mutsuki as this character has grown on me more than Torso ever did.

And well, Urie still couldn’t bring up the real questions… What’s he gonna do next though? Will he concentrate on dealing with Mutsuki or will he start with Kaneki?

So the theory about Aura Kiyoko having lost her legs are officially confirmed now. That explains Shinsanpei’s actions (kinda). Still think it’s a bit extreme how he developed that bloodlust and psychotic attitude (he didn’t care about killing humans in the last arc and acted like he didn’t see anything when running into Mutsuki and Uta). This boy is way too deep into revenge imo. But it also depends on how close of a relationship he has with his auntie. If she is like a mother figure to him, then well, one could explain how he loses himself this much. There’s a post about how the way Aura Kiyoko acts is a bit suspicious. I agree. and to kinda add to it, I always found it weird that Aura and Mougan were even allowed to live when they have seen all their faces. And yet, after that incident, only Kaneki and Hirako were actively wanted. How come they don’t seem to be looking for Touka (remember how they were hunting for Hinami?), who left quite the impression on the two special classes? I thought they’d all go into hiding because the two who saw their faces where still alive but they actually didn’t have to change their life style at all. I dunno. Maybe it’s just a plothole? Afterall, Hirako and this kids where walking around publicly aswell, and dear Kaneki even rode on a train and had much fun… What I’m trying to say is, I actually like this theory that the oek and the special class came to some kind of mutual understanding back then (After Kaneki injured her legs).

I’ve got many questions regarding the Okihara thing. I wondered how the heck Kanou was able to control his zombie army and when they were first introduced, they totally gave off the near to mindless killer zombies vibe, altho Okihara did speak briefly and it let me believe that while he stilll had a concious mind, his body was somewhat under control by Kanou. Now, in this chapter, it seems like he could act on his own acord with some restrictions. The theory about how Kanou might be controlling them by bribing with the “medicine” but I still think it doesn’t hold too much ground bc is Kanou really that sure that all of his zombies hold on to their new life so much that they’d just do anything Kanou tells them? It’d be a rather unsafe way to ensure control (and it’s kinda dangerous if some of them turn against him while he thinks he’s absolutely got the upper hand). Let’s say for example if Shirazu is one of them. I don’t think he’d just listen to Kanou and do things against his own moral (especially if he’d face his old team). Now, the meeting itself with Ui seemed pretty secretive and it makes sense that Kanou/Furuta wouldn’t want them to work together or share info. So why was he even able to walk around freely in the first place? Or did he just sneak out of the lab? I wonder about his “The dead do not return.” It could mean that he wasn’t dead dead at the time Kanou got his hands on him (he didn’t directly answer Ui’s question on whether he definitely died afterall). But in context of the rest of the story and the setups so far (pretty sure Shirazu and Hairu definitely died), I don’t think that’s the meaning behind this. Rather, he’s probably talking about how they don’t really come back as living people. They depend on their medicine and are robbed of their freedom. They’re only living on borrowed time. And well, Ui. This guy has been holding his personal feelings in for so long that he’s now totally loosing it. He lost the most important ppl in his life and even lost his beloved justice when he discovered Furuta’s true face and that he was used as a stepping stone for his evil plans. There’s nothing he can hold on to, nothing he can fight for (or so he thinks) and to keep himself alive he holds on to his past (aka the ppl he’s lost), even if it means selling his soul to the devil. I don’t see a good ending for him tbh…

(Ui and Urie have now joined my list of “characters who are competing with Kaneki for ‘protagonist of a tragedy’“. Congratulations.)

So now, onto the last chunk: Touka and Kaneki. First of all, yes, I loved seeing Kaneki smile (also bc he rarely does) and I know everyone are happy about it and I don’t mean to be a spoilsport, but it kinda felt superficial? The fact that they have finally reached the next base in their relationship did Kaneki good, it did some healing but he’s still far from overcoming his depression. Why do I feel that his smile or even, the happiness was superficial (heck, I really don’t know if this is even the right word, pls excuse my limited english knowledge)? When Touka gave him the ring he gave that super happy smile like there are no worries in the world while putting the necklace on and very naively claims that he’ll always remember her whenever he see the ring. Naive, bc he doesn’t seem to really get the message, meaning and weight behind it at all (afterglow sticks strong with this dork xD). He doesn’t question anything, doesn’t seem to have any deep thoughts about it, he just takes it as it is and is just in his happy mood throughout all the panels there. Kaneki is happy and behaving naive/superficial/ignorant, seeing things through rose-tinted-glasses (its must have been a few days after that night and he’s still a happy pup I can’t xD) Being a little naive is Not necessarily a bad thing though for he’ll have to get serious very soon anyways. but it surely does emphasize that ‘ignoring the problems around them’ theme of last chapter. Well, actually, that’s exactly what unsettles me. I feel like all this happy go lucky will be robbed of him before he can get one of his feet back on the ground…

There’s also this visible contrast between Kaneki’s and Touka’s demeanor. While Kaneki was all smiles and stuff Touka was rather thoughtful. Kaneki is still a little high but Touka is already back to normal. It’s especially visible in that scene where Kaneki boldly said “Whenever I look at this I’ll think of you, Touka-chan.” Touka turned around and didn’t give any sort of answer/comment beside “…” <- This is a sign that she’s actually having many thoughts rn and doesn’t want to say them or doesn’t know how to say them: We know the ring holds great importance to Touka and symbolizes love, parents, past. It’s super interesting and important to mention that her giving this to Kaneki can also be interpreted as her letting go of something she was holding on to. Or well, also passing it on, so someone else (Kaneki) can hold on to it when something happens to her (or also to himself) and he needs strength and comfort. i mean, he literally said something around this line so I’d be surprised if he doesn’t look at this ring and (cries) gains new strength/hold on to it with his dear life when things gets really tragic at some point (aka soon).

What are the reason for Touka to give her parent’s ring to Kaneki? It’s a symbol of love, trust, hope and remembrance and maybe she hopes that in the situations where he can’t get hold of his own life, when he is that lost and desperate, he can still hold on to this and remember that it is one of the reasons still worth struggling for. I wonder, what are her thoughts, what is weighing on her mind rn? Is she already worrying about how he might just disappear again one day. Is she worried that something bad will happen to him. Or herself? They live a dangerous life after all and that has just been proven again when Mutsuki attacked them at :re.

some side notes: The parallels between Hikari/Arata/(Yomo) and Touka/Kaneki/(Ayato) have been present for a long time now and what if, only hypothetically, Touka dies? Will Kaneki be consumed by hatred just like Arata? Is Touka maybe already worried about something like this?

People are freaking out about the deathflags on Touka and I’m just sitting here thinking that there are lots of things that are worse than death and we have seen many examples throughout TG… So no, personally, I don’t see Touka dying. Those are flags, yes, but not exactly ‘death’-flags (I don’t want either for Touka and it’s really scary thinking about what might happen to her in the future… whatever it’ll be though, I’m convinced she won’t die. It’s… just gonna be something worse…)

And everyone’s favorite, the Centipede showed up. There are many possibliities for its interepretation. It’s associated with strength. It appeared when Kaneki was tortured. It has a direct connection to when Kaneki finally got stronger, when he started to seek out strength, when he witnessed losses and hated that feeling of not being able to protect and also when he loses control and when we first learned more about his past. So those are things/themes that we might see again soon enough as Ishida loves playing this parallelism game. So, to sum it up: Tragedy incoming.

[mulattafury]

Big big announcement from Bioware today! Points to them for taking that criticism pill and owning up to the game's issues -- I seriously believe that constructive feedback to someone who is trying, who has been shown to listen to it, can make a bigger difference than just shutting it down right away. Not that anyone's necessarily wrong for doing so, I just think this kinda stuff is a journey and what's important is moving forward. Though can I be honest about some things? I don't understand why everyone was losing their damn minds over the facial animation? It definitely looked better than the earlier games, like improvements across the board from mass effect 1-3. Yeah they are super uncanny valley but until game developers stop being so fixated on photo realism as the goal of successful character art we're gonna fall deeper into that well. The more realistic you make a face, the more your brain is going to notice when it doesn't move exactly as a human's should. And to get that level of realism you gotta pour a small country's GDP into an animation studio. That's part of the reason feature-length animated movies don't really feature realistic characters (remember the humans in the first shrek lol) and why games with more stylized characters, not necessarily cartoony like Jak and Daxter but exaggerated like Final Fantasy and Borderlands, age better than hyperrealism attempts Additionally, the character creator was actually really great if you gave it a chance. Being able to make minor tweaks to a variety of very different face types actually makes for some really gorgeous and unique characters if you can get past how... odd some of the presets look. Tbh I liked most of the presets, but I get that people were kind of freaked out that none of the presets were what they wanted and didn't really test the limits of what the minor changes you could make would actually do. Seriously, take your least favorite preset and remove the facial hair/scars/tattoos/makeup, change the hairstyle, and give them a dramatically different skin color, and you'll see how much you can do with it. I prefer this system to cycling a bunch of mouth/nose/eye options on top of a generic face model, because when you get too much choice there all the characters end up looking very similar. Idk my sibs and i have made a huge variety of neat looking ladies and gents, i don't think the cc was as bad as ppl make it out to be but improvements are always welcome. I'd love to see more natural hairstyle options, for example, or a little more control over hair color. Anyway, I'm excited to see what improvements they make! I'm a mass effect diehard but they can always, always do better lol

[ask-jungshook]

can i be real for a sec?? you are so amazing and im about to cry bc you're everything i wish i was. ppl love your art so much and your angst and you're so talented. you are so so talented. ok im sorry i just needed this off my chest

// OMG NOOOOOO NONNY PLEASE DON’T CRY!

For me, my ‘talent’ is probably an accumulation of ‘natural’ talent (basically your base stats in gaming terms lol), motivation, experience, practice, and personal drive.

So to get a general sense of where I’m coming from, let me tell you a story of a YOUNG DISSU and how her ‘talent’ developed. (aka my art journey LOL)

So let’s started!

Base Stats

When I first got into drawing (this was around middle school, so I was around 12 years old????), my base stat for drawing was probably a 1 out of 10 –  pretty horrible tbh because all I did was just to try and replicate my favorite mangas characters as they were drawn. (At the time I think it was Yu Yu Hakusho LMFAO). If I were to make an analogy or any type of comparison, let’s just say, my stick figures had better proportions than my actual drawings but I digress. But as much as I drew poorly, I found myself loving drawing and loving art because it was an outlet for me to relieve stress. (But looking back oh boy was I a hardcore weeaboo haha) This period of time was the time where I gave no shits if I drew poorly, I drew because I had fun and that was pretty much it. (So there was like pretty much 0 improvement since I didn’t really bother to learn anything technique-wise) 

Motivation & Practice

Around high school was when I first started digital art (I around age 16 at this time) and this was the time period when DeviantArt was the ‘go to’ place to post drawings and literature. (pretty sure tumblr and twitter didn’t exist back then and facebook like just became a thing lol) Avatar sites like gaiaonline were also super popular and filled with a bunch of talented artists. I remember distinctly being like ‘holy shit these people are so good and so talented and thinking that I could never surmount to anything like that’. But at the same time, another part of me was like AWE INSPIRED of their talent and would like obsessively see if they had any tutorials on drawing. So while yes, there was a portion of me that wanted to be like my art idols and draw the way they did, at the same time, I kinda knew in my head that that was impossible? (But it didn’t stop me from trying to emulate them) 

So while I kept on drawing because it was fun and I liked it as a hobby– BUT this time, I had people to look up to in terms of the ‘I want to draw like you’ aspect of it. They were my art idols and pretty much everything I wanted to be from an art standpoint hahaha. But those artists were my main source of motivation for wanting to improve throughout high school. So this was the period of time that other people’s art lead to me wanting to develop a better style and to improve my technique. (I drew a lot, but never really finished anything major because I was really impatient back then, but my style was HEAVILY impacted by my art idols lol – VERY VERY GRAPHIC NOVELY/DATING SIM-ESQUE)

Experience & Personal Drive

I think in recent years, I did a lot of growing not only as an artist but as a person. One thing to note about growth and  improvement is that seeing improvement/seeing growth does not happen overnight, and I took many art hiatuses during high school and most of college simply because I didn’t have time due to my course load. So after cycling through various styles, my art kinda just stagnated for a long time. At that time, it was a bit disheartening and frustrating for me, because at that point I drew for like 6 years and made like small baby steps. (I had a variety of styles, but I never really had the solid groundwork of like anatomy, how clothing works, or color theory.) So it did put a hamper down on my motivation to draw back then– simply because I didn’t think I was improving as fast as other people – which in retrospect, was mistake number one.

I also went through a pretty bad battle with depression while I was in college that ebbed down a bit, then resurfaced after I graduated (this was roughly a 3 yr span), which hindered a lot of my art growth substantially as well  because my mentality simply wasn’t there. (Music and art hold emotional ties for me, so whenever I’m depressed, everything relating to the creative side of me goes to shit and I will have 0 motivation to draw and basically just sleep all day.)

But to be brutally honest, this is where personal drive comes in. There was one day where I just had full blown out sit down with myself where I basically told myself that I was so sick of being sad all the time, so tired of just being tired, so sick of hating myself– and that I missed being happy and that I missed that sense of joy. So what did I do? I pushed myself and forced myself out of my bubble in an effort to crawl out of that pit that is depression. But one of the things that helped me the most was reconnecting with a bunch of art friends that I met online in high school on one of those avatar sites. I’m a lot stronger of a person mentally thanks to them. :) And with the help of my friends, I basically began my journey of a 360 degree change– my friends, music, art and the past depressed me were all sources of motivation for me to fight to win that mental battle against myself. (One of the things I did was delete all my social media and just start over– that way it’s easy to filter out unwanted things if you start with a blank slate. I also bought my dog around this time which helped my mentality exponentially.)

Getting started was probably the hardest part, because depression is a cycle of ups and downs– but in order to break free, YOU have to be the one to initiate change and stick to making it happen no matter how uncomfortable you may be. I understand that not everyone can be like me and resolve to do everything yourself. Some people need therapy, and some people need medication and that’s fine because as humans, we’re all different in how we cope with things. In my case, it was all about mental fortitude and my own will power. For me personally, I extended my art hiatus and took several more months off of art and just solely focused on myself and my mental health more than anything. I did a lot of soul searching during this time. Ironically, I think my main motivation for crawling out of that hell hole was just hating how much I hated being sad all the time because that’s just a place that I would never want to go back to.

And even now, it’s still a lot of self exploring of what I want for myself and understanding myself. I’m a person with many layers of personality (like an onion!) – and I’m still learning how to embrace all of those layers (even the bad ones) because in the end, your layers combined are what makes you who you are. If you try to reject a part of any layer, that’s pretty much you trying to reject a part of you– which may lead to or cause a lot of internal turmoil. (On a not so serious note, I realize this ‘layer’ thing was a totally unintentional analogy taken from Shrek, imsosorry lol)

And I just realized I took a HUGE tangent, but going back to the experience and personal drive, I think it was some time around 2016 and going into 2017 when I officially made it to be one of my goals for the new year as to get ‘better’ at art. At this point, I had like 10 years of ‘experience’ in digital art (probably a lot less if you factor in my hiatuses but I digress lol), so based off of those past experiences, I know what I’m good at and what needs improvement. (so I know where my groundwork is lacking and what I should focus on) From a mental perspective, I also understand myself more in the sense that I knew what caused mental stress on me, which in turn allows me to not put myself in uncomfortable positions mentally. At the same time, understanding myself has also allowed me to know my limits and understand how much I can push myself.

But more importantly (from an art standpoint), I’ve learned to take a lot of inspiration from other artists and a lot of art friends instead of wanting to have their style of drawing. I think it was important to me to realize and recognize that I will probably never draw like some of them (because they have a lot more experience than me), and that that should be taken as a positive thing because my art should reflect who I am. So remember that onion I was talking about? All the people I look up to and all the people who I’ve befriended through art also play a HUGE role in my many layers because without them, I personally wouldn’t have that personal drive to learn and get better. So def find something that motivates you to be a better version of yourself! (For me it’s music, books, and other people’s art!)

So going back to my main point of talent:

Don’t think of someone else’s talent as something you should replicate. Because honestly speaking, you can’t, since you literally are a different person– and no two people are the same. (Nor are two onions the same)  Instead– take an opportunity to view it as a source of motivation and inspiration to grow and foster your own talent and your own personal growth. Because talent is something you CAN cultivate into something beautiful given time and patience. (Related note: I wrote like an essay in my meet the artist link about my thoughts regarding art and improvement and about comparing yourself to other artists– dunno if that’ll help, but feel free to check it out here lol)  

It took me 12 years for my art to evolve to what it is now (I’m 24 now), and I still think I have a lot more room to grow because there was so much I missed out on when I first started out. So while yes, I would consider myself as ‘talented’, there were so many things that have attributed to and molded my base ‘talent’ from when I was 12  to what is it now. And beauty is, is that that everyone’s base stats are different– heck there are people HALF my age who draw better than I do now and that’s amazing! (Also don’t let someone’s age be a reason to put yourself down either! I personally find young artists super inspiring :’))

But honestly, the most important thing is that in the end, art should be about yourself! As I mentioned before, art and music are linked to me emotionally, so happiness is the main thing that I want my art to bring to me. You shouldn’t do things for the sake of others (like getting notes/being popular), you should do it because it makes you happy. (Because if you’re doing things for others, you’re literally putting your own happiness in the hands of other people– and it shouldn’t be that way) For me, drawing makes me happy because I like to see my progression over the years as well as that sense of accomplishment once you finish a piece.

I’m so sorry that this turned into a really long essay/rambling about my life (i tried to keep it as short as possible, but it still ended up long af weeps), but I just felt the need the type this because I’ve been in a similar position as you before. (When I first read this ask I had like a lot of mixed emotions because I was like yes, it’s a compliment, but at the same time, why do I feel really sad? lol so yeah … sorry about the wall of text)

So don’t wish you were me! LOL :’D (lol trust me bc I am far from perfect) Instead, embrace yourself, (& to paraphrase the chorus of Cypher 4)  know yourself, and most importantly, love yourself because you are ALSO a blooming talent in the garden that is life. 

:) So what I really want to see is the phrase of “you’re everything i wish i was“ turn into something like, “thanks for inspiring me to improve” or something along those lines.

As artists, we all learn off from each other. And personally, I would be honored to be some sort of inspiration to you – but as I said before, please don’t think that you’re any less than me or think negatively about yourself because you are amazing and talented in your own right! :’) And if it helps, I’ll be rooting for you to continue cultivating your own ‘talent’ into something even more spectacular! Nonny HWAITING!

Also if you ever want to talk, feel free to message me! (I hope I don’t come off as intimidating, I’m just very scatterbrained and get distracted easily lol i also apologize for any spelling mistakes in this because im too lazy to proofread lol)

[yoursalwaysfics]

ok question have you seen this "killing stalking" thing thats apparently the Hip New Problématique thing on tubmlr bc i havent actually looked at the manhwa itself (prob never will) but i took a gander at the tag and ive seen glimpses of the fandom and all i have to say is Wow but like. in a bad way. (also apparently ppl are comparing it to yoi?? idgi??)

*deep sigh* okay, so here’s the thing… (this might be a longer answer than you bargained for, but it needs to be said)

yes, I’ve seen it (I’m usually willing to give the latest bandwagon a shot just to see if it’s something I could also be into). I just finished chapter 12 today. KS is a train wreck, but not necessarily in a bad way (aside from the extremely obvious). it’s gruesome and horrifying and makes your skin crawl and your stomach turn but you can’t look away. it is definitely not for the faint of heart. that being said, it’s not bad. as a story, it’s intense and draws you in (if you can handle the heavier parts). the characters are incredibly flawed but incredibly well developed and written. the art is also very interesting (and I really like it tbh). the style is really bold and a big step away from what I usually see in manhwa.

but it absolutely is not comparable to YOI and should not be.

yoi gave us so many things that a lot of people have been frothing at the mouth for, namely beautiful animation, music, and a healthy, open, unfetishized same-sex relationship. 

a lot of people looking for the next big thing to ship (looking at all the fujoshi out there) jumped over to KS for the wrong reasons. the main characters in KS (Yoonbum and Sangwoo) should not be shipped. the comic makes no excuses or tries to cover up the fact that their relationship (and I use that term very loosely here) is incredibly unhealthy and abusive and manipulative. it is not a romance. it’s not even tagged as one. it is an unapologetic psychological horror. there is literally no redemption story here. if there is any justice, it will end badly with one or both of them either dead or in jail.

that’s mostly what I wanted to say about it, but I’m going to add one more little bit about mental illness depicted in KS, and this can totally be skipped over because it’s just my observation and personal opinion on the subject (this is mostly just if any of you have read or decide to check out KS, because I see a lot of people questioning and confused by some behavior that, to me, is very understandable, so it’s just a bit of perspective):

in chapter 1, we find out that Yoonbum has bpd (borderline personality disorder). this is a disorder that I also have. I knew the basics of KS going into it and was immediately put off because bpd is often portrayed horribly and all I could think was “fuck, yet another perpetuation that we’re crazy and/or dangerous” and I really considered quitting the series right then and there. but I continued on (mostly out of spite) because I wanted to make an argument that this was not how bpd actually is. 

I wanted to be angry at it, I wanted to hate it, but as I kept reading it…I couldn’t. because as horrible as it is, it’s really spot on. it’s an excellent depiction of the darker side of mental illness that lately we try not to talk about by basically saying “not all mentally ill” when the fact is…yeah, absolutely not all, not even most, but some. Yoonbum and Sangwoo are what can happen when two very disturbed and damaged people come together and have their personalities play off of each other with terrible consequences for literally everyone involved. it’s rare, but it can and does happen. there’s plenty of recorded history of it involving serial killers.

and about Yoonbum’s bpd: again, I wanted to be mad about how it was portrayed, but I just couldn’t. for those not familiar, bpd basically boils down to a mood disorder that results in unstable moods, behaviors, and relationships. it usually comes with an intense fear of rejection and abandonment (real or perceived) in addition to the mood swings. there’s also often a big problem with either idolizing someone or completely devaluing them (and sometimes swinging between the two with the same person). there’s a lot more to it (and if you’re interested, you can read a little more about the basics here) but with Yoonbum, when it comes down to it, as much as I wanted to say “that’s not how it is”…I can’t. the author obviously either has/knows someone with/or did a lot of research on bpd, because if I’m being completely honest with myself, if I didn’t have a partner who was as aware and supportive and understanding as I do, I could easily see myself ending up in a situation similar to Yoonbum (hopefully minus the murder).

bpd can wreak havoc on your personal relationships. I have very few people who I can call my friends because most people can’t deal with my instability (and I don’t blame them at all, it’s a lot to ask someone to accept). a lot of my familial relationships are shallow and strained because people just don’t understand why I act the way I do, despite my best efforts to be “normal”. you feel worthless and will look for anyone to validate you and give you some sort of purpose (I know from personal experiences, most of which were very bad and did much more harm than good). so I really lucked out to end up with someone chill enough to not only help ground me but also someone who pushes me to find purpose in myself instead of in him/other people.

it’s very easy for me to relate to and understand Yoonbum because I could have very easily been him. he’s not innocent in this. he’s not 100% a victim here. very poor choices on his part put him in a situation that is now out of his control. but I will say, as someone who struggles with and fights against similar thoughts and feelings, sometimes it is extremely difficult not to act on the sudden impulses and irrational thinking like he did. and seeing as he apparently had none of even what support I’ve been able to find, I’m not surprised at all by any of his behavior.