#to impact people the way theyve impacted me

[caffeinatedopossum]

I honestly don't know what people mean when they talk about "having dreams" in the sense of like aspirations and ambitions. People talk about it like EVERYONE obviously has one. And I don't. I just kind of hang out and try not to die.

[moonshynecybin]

please give me all your thoughts about the Academy boys in this world, I am thinking about two of them right now :

— Pecco (who definitely knows he’s attracted to Luca, might be starting to realize he has feelings for him as well, maybe they’ve fooled around or maybe Pecco has been too scared to do anything yet) : I can’t decide which way he would take the whole thing and what he would focus on (either the good things and how that might mean he could have what Marc & Vale have in the open one day or the bad things and how the world sure isn’t ready for talented™️ gay motoGP riders so there is no way it would ever be okay for him) which has a direct incident on how he treats his relationship with Luca

— Bezz : 17 yo Bezz who obviously doesn’t hate Marc because this is 2016 but he’s heard Vale complain about him a little through 2015 and heavily through the 2015-2016 break and it might have influenced him a little but I think he would genuinely feels really bad and sorry for Marc (and how he was the most negatively impacted/compromised by those photos) and could tell him so, and also go quietly ‘I don’t know if I could ever do that’ [the whole going public thing] and Marc telling him he doesn’t have to, not if he doesn’t want to

forced coming out au and the academy boys.... my white whale.... no but literally!!! since its set in the 2016 season the academy is full of sensitive little gay teenagers at this point (pecco's like 19 luca is 18ish bezz is 17) and like.

pecco and luca were around for the good times initially but also the entireeeee divorce, so like it IS insane to them to see marc and vale making out in the paddock tbh. buttttt !!! theyve also seen how they were when they were friends, so they have the groundwork. its not ENTIRELY out of left field.. actually bc of this i think luca knows rosquez arent actually together (he sees he perceives he can tell vale is being weird) and he has um. inklings that things are unresolved and tense, while pecco (who is young and newer and doesnt know vale as well) thinks they are 100% together for realsies... which means LUCA is very aware of how this is a PR thing that his brother and marc have been forced into, while PECCO thinks the power of gay love is saving the day... so its a reversal of their usual dynamic a bit... like luca sees the pitfalls/violence of the situation and pecco is coming out of his shell, testing the waters, being cautiously optimistic for the future of gay riders in the paddock... i think once luca tells pecco that its fake it is. AWFUL for them ! pecco thinks its rejection (its nottttt) and all of that careful scaffolding of hope collapses. truly takes them way longer to get together here as a result. pining for MONTHS luca thinks he blew his chance and doesnt ask again...

and for BEZZZZZZ like. truly all i think about. i think without the years of escalating and calcifying rosquez tension to be absorbed by him he gets on with marc like a house on fire i really do. sublimated into the werewolf pack really fast they VIBE they are very SIMILAR they are insanely LOYAL they like their PEOPLE! so in my mind (like you say) bezz has some realizations and instead of repressing it, he decides to talk to marc (a lil less fraught than his HERO valentino i think) and marc nearly cries lol. it is honestly a very healing experience for them both ESPECIALLY marc after the trauma of coming out. like. marc thinks if he cant have his privacy and everything is awful with valentino at least he can do this for a young racer who reminds him of himself... very sweet imo

[tinukis]

(OKAY. I KINDA GOT CARRIED AWAY (i got REALLY carried away.) AND NOW I WILL PROVIDE VERY FEW INFO ON SABOSAN HISTORY AS EARLY AS 2014.)

sabosan existing on here since at least 2017 is crazy

(it's ask blogs and im lazy to know the lore but all ik is that sabo and sanji have kids while sanji is in extreme denial abt being gay)

i wanna know how far back sabosan goes... like at leasT 2015 or 2016??? (anime timeline) and maybe 2014 (manga timeline) idk im just guessing bc i dont know what year sabo returned so

OK BUT THE SLIM CHANCE THAT SABOSAN BECAME A THING LIKE ALMOST A DECADE AGO DRIVES ME INSANE I NEED TO INVESTIGATE WAIT

on pixiv in the sabosan tag (サボサン) the oldest works on there is from 2015. (i mean when u look up サボサン you get this cactus mascot which is p hilarious)

i theorize that sabosan became recognized because of zou/wci. bc thats when we learn about sanji's history. i notice that it seem to be more recognized by a few fans as early as 2016 (when wci started)

so those big brained individuals were onto something then. they saw two blonde characters that shared similar histories and went. "wait a minute. i can cook something with this"

and you know what sanji's good at? taking any ingredients and making something amazing out of it. thats what early sabosan fans did

there are Very Little content of them/i cant read japanese and i just mostly find the cactus mascot, but they were there. at Least as early as sabo's return. and at that time, fans did not receive sanji's past. they just took these guys like barbie dolls and made them kiss... anyway i need them to meet and i want to see the longtime fans react as theyve waited nearly a decade for that very moment

(kinda doubtful but let me dream!!!)

OKAY ANOTHER UPDATE (YES IM TYPING EVERYTHING IN ONE POST) i learned how to search dates on the bird app once more and. im seeing posts from jpn about sabosan !!!

one of my favorite ones:

the people understanding since 2016... that sanji goes well with ASL brothers :'D

ok found another tweet (and the users are still active !!) and translation seems butchered so im not gonna share but from what i could understand, this other user also likes sanji with ASL... this is amazing. LIKE im aware of the impact acesan had, especially bc of the anime including ace in alabasta (i understand deeply. i mean have you SEEN the way ace acted around sanji⁉️⁉️ lighting his cigarette... smirking at him when sanji turns his back... i know what you are. they Definitely spent an entire night (or more) alone together <3) but for sabo to be included to since this long ago, esp considering the two never met?!?? and the one connection is being royal blood...

again i cannot include everything, esp long posts bc the translation gets butchered but aaahh just ppl talk about the pairing, any potentials about it makes me happy... and gives me hope for the agenda to spread wider lol. what looks like that has been said is that a couple of people really like pairing sanji with multiple characters, esp ASL... and i understand so well. theres just something about sanji being so shippable

there are also fans speaking to other sanji ships fans, and they ask/say "i want to see your sabosan !!" it's great...

ahahhaa AHAHAHA FOUND ANOTHER POST I CAN SHARE:

sabo POP figure from 2016 (aaah i want it so bad...)

and the suit he wears in this figure, it does look like sanji's fit now that the user mentioned it 👀👀

okay i dug a little more and found another sabosan fan! at first i was unsure as they could be talking about another user or a cactus or something. but as it turns out, they are indeed a sabosan fan! they've said things like "i wish sabosan was more popular"/"i wish for sabosan" and this is dated back in 2016! plus one of my favorite posts (translated into deepL as i had a feeling that twt had butchered the translation and...)

they get it. they got it. as i mentioned earlier, the fans definitely knew what was up when wci happened. THEY WERE COOKING BACK IN 2016!!! which... i believe i should now start digging as early as i can. maybe for zou or dressrosa years!! bc certainly, this pairing was actually talked about during 2016-2017. it was wonderful to see!

oh my goodness... i decided to look from start of 2015 to the end, and so far in late 2015, the same user from the above translation, has been talking about them still! they mentioned sabosan fanworks, and how they read a heartbreaking fic⁉️⁉️ i cant tell you how happy i was to read that. sabosan being a thing and having angst works, even if i can't read them. (never mess with one piece fans, especially if they are fujoshi !! they'll find their ways. im honestly fascinated. i love fandom history if you couldnt tell by this post!)

plus, some fans calling themselves delusional for thinking of this pairing... if only i could be there with you, longtime fan.

and i'll be real here, i dont know of the popularities back then but the comparison of sanji and sabo being nobles are great :] (maybe bc i've just seen ppl being mean to sabo recently 😔)

okay im sure this post is getting wayyy too long so i'll try to wrap up my investigations. bc there are many posts to look through but sabosan being talked about as early as 2015 (as i write this) is just... very joyous news to me ;w;

im sure i will be missing lots of good posts (despite the horrible machine translations) but i am shaking hands with 2015-2017 fans in solidarity... at most 9 years later

!!! GREAT NEWS. 2014 posting!!

original tweet and deepL translation... dated mid december 2014. nearly a whole decade ago. i swear sabosan will go viral, way more than when zou/wci was in progress. im sure of it

i really cant put into words how im feeling or what im really thinking. just know im happy to find fans from 2014 !!

OH MY GOD.

⁉️⁉️⁉️ AUGUST 2014 BTW. and im assuming its supposed to be "sabo started with" or something but... the content. sabosan content. 2014. it's out there. SHAKES YOU. THE CRUMBS (also this user is a sabosan fan and i think acesan fan too as i did see mentjons of them... so this just...)

THEYVE BEEN HERE FOR A LONG TIME AAAAAHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭

NOW IM CURIOUS WITH HOW MANY POSTS IVE BEEN MISSING⁉️⁉️ yall the agenda must spread farther

ASL/sanji mentioned! august 2014

omg again from the same user

shaking your hand in spirit (april 2014!!!)

there have been fans of this pairing as early as april 2014!!!! and have been manifesting for their popularity for awhile 😭😭😭 (plus this user is still active! im not sure if theyre still into one piece but... i hope for the longtime/past fans to see it all soon)

i think my investigation into sabosan history ends here after a long post and hours of searching... unless i somehow find something earlier than april 2014, the earliest moment that sabosan was first talked about was in the year 2014. Q2 2014. back when dressrosa was still ongoing. do you know how insane that is? before wci.

i think we can come to a conclusion that sabosan was a concept as early as 2014 was all becaude of acesan. thats the pattern i noticed. ace/acesan was often mentioned. and i believe it's bc not only are ace and sabo brothers, but bc sabo aimed to eat the mera mera no mi. and if sanji were to meet sabo, sanji would be reminded of his late lover, ace. and the angst potential is so real... sanji looking at sabo... just as a replacement for ace? ouch

i know the fans were having a field day when they learned about sanji's blood family :']

side note: there are likely things lost due to users deactivating or whatnot... and i doubt i'd be able to search via wayback machine. and as much as i dont like pinterest for reposting art, there are pieces of the two ive never seen before

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

theres seems to be this undertone w inutade about how she wants to be useful because she knows shes not stealthy and would not be a good ninja in the way izutsumi is. And how she seems to admire izu and is happy she interacts w her. And also, the reoccurring theme that both giving and receiving food is a sign of connection; that even tho izu only saw giving the green onions to tade as offloading stuff she doesnt want to her, tade saw it as a sign of friendship. N izu sucks at insight but I think she cared about tade too—notably she asks tade why she injured herself working on the roof and i think its a consistent trait that izu is curious! Shes interested in other people and why they do things. She cares 😔 in her own way, and its clumsy to be sure but its genuine!

And Tade desperately wants izu to like being at the household and even tries to convince her. And notably, izu gives it some thought and then is able to concisely state why she dislikes it in a way Tade can understand. That even tho the household means safety, izu wants to be free to make her own choices, even if she suffers for it. It really is such a big step for a kid who cant really process her own past. Like she is capable of connecting w others!! She can do it!!!! And she needs to do it to take the first steps to understand herself. Shes a good kid who will respond w thought and care as long as you come to her with respect. And tade respects it in the end even tho she doesnt get it entirely!

But by all means Tade seems like she would be a pretty good samurai. Its kinda puzzling but also not that maizuru didnt figure this out—but shes inflexible w her thinking and slots ppl into roles rather quickly even tho shes also brilliant. She seems to be a when all u got is a hammer everything looks like a nail type person and the hammer is ninja-ing. And yet there is a samurai in her retinue that seems like he'd be chill w showing inutade the ropes if asked and seems like he would really like to have a positive impact. And even if not him cuz hes a potential heir, there seems to be samurai in the house on retainer who are chillin.

Also interesting that she seems much nicer to tade then she is w izutsumi; I wonder if theres an undertone that she pushes izutsumi so hard on the ninja training front bc she sees promise in her she doesnt see in tade (this is such an asian parent thing to do. U know theyve either given up on u or uve been diagnosed w a serious illness when theyre suddenly nice to you as a child SMH. ) but theres something interesting there - she gave izutsumi a collar, which is something u give an animal, but later the story subverts this by her saying she put it first on toshiro — so she sees this as a cool innovation shes very proud of that she came up with to rear children and shes like look at toshiro he turned out great!! (He didnt.) But its an interesting play on the reoccurring theme that if u label someone inhuman, you can justify any kind of treatment. But also, if you label someone a child, you can completely disrespect their autonomy. And izutsumi walks that line — treated like an animal at shows and then purchased as a cat by toshiros father. But maizuru for all her xenophobia seemed to have instantly recognized shes a human child. Interesting nuance to her in all the ways shes awful but also the ways shes willing be flexible in her thinking. It really makes me think, taken together with the other characters, that kindness is trained out of ppl in that household and a lot of the characters would really like to be kinder. Complicated messy situation. But the maizuru slots her intensely in the role of a human child and for her theres only one role for a child —being a ninja retainer (help.) and punishes her for her cat like behavior. This did not help izutsumis complex about how badly she wants to get rid of the cat side n views it as a curse. She has two hearts !!! She is 100% cat and 100% girl!!! And like izutsumi is a child! But shes at the age where she should be deciding what she wants in life and making her own choices even if theyre questionable. I think the way maizuru treats shuro like a child even tho hes 26 years old really sets the stage for how she treats izutsumi. Its interesting how their arcs play together even tho theyre from the top and the bottom of the hierarchy respectively and how maizuru plays an interesting connection between the two. Senshi something something every tier in the ecosystem affects one another. Interesting that their both associated w golems (ice golem being the first dungeon monster izu fights, shuros show defending the golems in a flashback and then again in the finale) which are magical creatures designed to serve their masters but are also capable of sustaining life on their backs and even seem to care about them when given the chance. But also funny how izu killed one of them and then shuro came in and killed the last last three. Good job guys.

U see this in how rin was treated like an animal under the elves and kabru was treated as a child and even tho kabru had food, shelter, and safety, they both gave it all up to go to the dungeon and die several times rather then stay. And izutsumis been treated as both; and even in the party shes still treated as both at times. But shes willing to grow with them bc they slowly try to respect and include her.

[freakurodani]

top 5 haikyuu moments !! (can be particular scenes or episodes or arcs) :D

OKAY!!! so i had to gather visuals for this one bc i have many feelings about this!! I went for scenes that no matter how many times i watch, they never lose their magic for me, no matter that i know theyre coming, it still takes my breath away and makes me roll around with delight, these most of these i feel like are probably pretty obvious ones, they were meant to be impactful but ough, if they dont tear me up in the best way

SO IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

1.

I mean, what can i say??? what IS there to say?? theyve been teammates for a few weeks at this point, but hinata has given all his trust to kageyama and in turn, kageyama promised to use it to its full potential. its also a promise for their rivalry!! like, okay okay okay think about it, with the context we have with Kazuyo, kageyama has *already* decided that hinata is going to be his someone better! he sees it innately and he wants to draw it out of him, and he's, hes trying to be *hinatas* someone better too!! do u understand *shakes you* do u see what i mean!!! i mean, im sure u do, im definitely not the first person to go insane about this and ppl have probably also said it in a way thats smarter than me but just, ough

2.

its,,,, its,,, the acceptance of it all,,, i just think about how *alone* kageyama must have felt after his grandfather passed, we see and know that hes not good at connecting with people. hes bad at communicating and hes sensitive and he's scared of getting complacent. like, the all youth camp arc and atsumu calling him a goody-two-shoes is kageyama struggling with how he is changing, how hes trying to incorporate the influences he's gotten from his betters, and he cherishes it, but he's also felt like the advice he'd been given didn't also mesh with certain parts of himself. or, thats how i read into it, anyway. he tries so *hard* to be what ppl need him to be, and he's *so scared* of being rejected again. and this is hinata (and the rest of karasuno) telling him "HEY! we like you! we think you're smart and you dont have to shoulder connection all on your own! let us help you connect with us in a way where you feel comfy too :)" and then they talk about how they want communication! and it works!! and i just *rips into a pillow with my teeth*

3.

HINATA'S PERFECT RECEIVE!!!!! so the inarizaki match is probably my favorite?? there are so many good moments but *this?* you wanna see me go insane? do you want smth thatll make me tear up? every time!! its just!!! a beautiful culmination of all of hinatas hard work that he's put into during the year! its his change of mindset! its his growth!! he's fallen a level deeper in love with volleyball and ive fallen a level deeper in love with his character

4.

halo around the moon <3 Tsukki's block, his hard work, his character arc and development and everything is just *chefs kiss*. i remember the first time i watched the show, i,, *hated* tsukishima, and i think we definitely arent supposed to like him at first, but GOD does that turn around!! and this moment just feels so *earned* and *epic* and in the end HE STILL ISNT SATISFIED!!!!! he STILL wanted more!!! this point was worth 100 god fucking damn!!

5.

im talking about the inarizaki match again!! but this time with a focus on Tanaka, who kind of struggled with this match! he was in a low place during it, felt stagnated and lame. Tanaka, as a character, i would say is best characterized by his mental fortitude and stability, funny enough. He's wild, but i think part of his visual design lends that as his base (since he's often compared to buddhas/monks). But in this match, we get more depth, we see him falter and struggle! it takes more than just a slap to his cheeks to get better (tho tsukishima does point out that he gets out of his depression pretty fast) but like, tanaka uses meaningful cognition to break his rut, and its also just like, advice that I've seen used for stuff like any kind of creative block as well. The visual during the animation, he's climbing up the stairs, he's slowing down, he's coming face to face with a canyon, a plateau. He sees two options, give in, or push forward and he picks "the cooler" one, and struggles forward, forces himself ahead! and kageyama backs him up too, by not letting him back down, assuring him that his usefulness hasnt reached its end and AUGH I LOVE A TEAM YALL

okay thank u so much for the excuse to ramble about haikyuu moments that mean everything to me <33333

[determinate-negation]

“ people on here r rly like 'attraction to big people is fetishistic, attraction to small people is pedophilic, having sexual thoughts about a real person is objectifying and basically harassment (and having them about fictional people is perverted), kinky sex is immoral, if youre open about your sex life in any way youre a pervert, if youre not open about them you are queerbaiting. basically you should be completely sexless while everything you do is sexualized and up for debate/speculation. this is good for the Igbt community' ”. Saw this post and it reminded me of the somewhat cold take you made the other day about bdsm being rooted in colonialism and militarism… Obviously not everything written in this post but yeah. Did you delete it bc you changed ur mind or? Just curious. Do you think something is “amoral” and should be avoided if its roots are colonial? What about reclamation by oppressed groups? Like historical queer subcultures? Leather daddies etc.

didnt change my mind, i deleted it bc in the comments i was talking about my own personal experiences and tbh i dont feel comfortable having it up publicly. i didnt say people are immoral for their preferences, that would be ignorant of how human sexuality actually functions. tbh i didnt say anything similar to the quoted post you sent me, just pointed out a historical reality. as i said in the post i dont pass judgement or think anyone is problematic for shit, or think they should try to avoid it, because i think its out of peoples control for the most part. even though of course sadism and masochism have been present in human society for centuries so much of it coalesced during specific periods of western history. i think its just stupid to brush past that and see sexual practices as just ahistorical things with no deeper psychic significance. a lot of practices that are part of bdsm now or have influenced themes, cultural icons, etc in bdsm shit today are connected to western culture, and, in non western cases to empires and imperial culture. the namesake of sadism was a french enlightenment writer and the namesake of masochism was an austrian romanticist writer. both of their writing is indicative of the historical context and people have written a lot about the philosophical influence theyve had. back to the colonial thing… what i was more specifically talking about was significance of military academies, colonial troops, and boarding schools- highly stratified social relations with specific relations to violence and control- in influencing the experiences of early s&m writers or artists, and their continued impact on aesthetics and themes of culture today. and also the popularity of sadomasochistic literature in europe during the 1800s, a period of time of heightening of imperial relations and colonial expansion. is it not interesting to you that the majority of older material concerning bdsm originated in france, germany, britain, and austria. still some of the main exporters today probably. can you really say theres no cultural drive sustaining that. so yeah its kind of cringe to me when people are like “bdsm is all about making someone feel loved uwu” like its actually so corny. maybe its just an cultural outgrowth of a psychic phenomenon thats been exacerbated by class society and western obsession with discipline violence control and subjugation. sadomasochism as a psychic phenomenon includes a lot of psychological and sexual behavior and bdsm i guess is one part of it, but cant be separated from the rest of its manifestations. this phenomenon as whole seems to me at least to be obviously a historical product, and a product of childhood experiences and one’s earliest human relations, also characterized by power relations and in the west, western culture ofc. im coming to this from a psychoanalytic perspective so tbh “reclamation by oppressed groups” doesnt really even fit into this. i dont care what people do and thats cool if it works for them. i dont get it though. im sure there are plenty of people for whom its just a fun thing and they compartmentalize whatever but thats not the reality for many other people. if you want to talk to me about this more message off anon because i have a lot of opinions but it honestly is a personal topic and i dont want share details about my life publicly to justify why i think all of this

[nonbinarycollector]

thinking about how the collector parallels luz and king. king wanted nothing more than to be an all powerful ruler at the start of the show, he wanted EVERYTHING the collector has, and if he got it before growing as a person he very well could be the same as the collector king is shown to be possessive with his favorite people (ie luz), he shrunk her friends to hang out with her, he clings to her and denied the idea she would ever leave the demon realm, and struggled with letting go and reconciling with the idea that luz might not always be there, may never be there again someday, even. we know that was never going to happen, but he DIDNT and it terrified him! hes grown more now, and he understands how to deal with his emotions better. the main point of difference between him and the collector is that king had the safety and support to do so, while the collector didnt the collector is very lonely, ostracized from demons and witches, and may have been an outcast from other collectors. luz grew up lonely and an outcast from humans. she struggled to connect with others and find people who truly accepted her and were willing to put in the work to get to know her, and has constantly been pushed down by people and authority. she starts off very optimistic and a bit naive to the consequences of her own actions (wing it like witches is a good example) and has a hard time thinking things through the collector is a much more extreme case, being a god detached from mortals, but they also dont understand their impact on others and how to deal with themself or others because theyve never been taught. how can you be taught when everyone pushes you away? when you push everyone away, intentionally or not? not to mention how they keep being used by others, hell the SAME person, due to their naturally trusting natures, and how its chipped away at their self worth. luz directs it internally and the collector directs it externally. either way it hurts them and others the collector is kind of brilliant to me in how starkly they contrast yet reflect the two characters most pivotal to their development, and how that says a lot of things about luz and king themselves

[definitelynotshouting]

I’ve been trying to grasp why I’ve been so in love with hunger au, and it wasn’t until looking up the lyrics to ‘ibuprofen’ to try and spoil the next chapter for myself (I am very good at making things up) that I figured out why.

Your World building is beautiful and I’m a massive sci-fi fan I thought that was why I was originally so invested, but I realized that the entire story (as of rn) can be read as a metaphor for a type of personality disorder?

This isn’t me saying that the story MUST be a metaphor, or even that you intentionally wrote it like that, but goddamn it does click some button in me like oh!!

Sometimes w personality disorders it feels like all you can do is hurt people. You’re carefully restricting your actions and expressions so you dont ever get too comfortable and hurt someone, but you inevitably fail and all you can do is feel bad because you were able to be yourself and meet some kind of internal satisfaction but the result is other people being hurt and you still aren’t happy cause that’s inherently a bad thing.

And then the logical conclusion is that you should never speak or hang out with people (or like. Live.) ever again because it’s not right to be hurting other people with your mere existence.

Idk if anyone else has mentioned this before but yeah that’s this for me lol. But!! Help exists!!! and Grian will get help too with his watcher tendencies after he realizes that his existence isn’t inherently detrimental and that there are solutions for his problems if he uses his big boy words and asks.

And no one will forgive him for what’s happened overnight, and those who forgive him will still have been hurt, and some of his relationships will be permanently altered because of the way he’s hurt them. But it’s not the end for him and it’s not the end for anyone else!!

Sorry this is so long! Idk if I should tag anything sensitive in case you decide to respond so Ima leave that to you— I’m a tumblr lurker I’ve been here for years but never commented on anything lol. Ty for the story, keep living laughing and loving (It’s what Grian would want apparently) and have a good one!

placing some obligatory tws here for those with post filtering: tw for discussions of mental health, personality disorders, and minor suicidal ideation (in the ask)

alright with that out of the way this is actually really validating for me to hear bc a lot of what you're seeing in this has been inserted very deliberately. While its not intended to fully be a metaphor for having a personality disorder, a lot of what's been depicted does draw on that, so im really glad this resonates with you!!

At its heart and core, hunger au is about the raw process of recovery, and how grueling but ultimately rewarding it is to commit to getting better. Showing this process through the fic is, i suppose, my way of holding the hand of everyone who is struggling with their own recovery and saying "i see you. i understand. you arent alone."

I cant overstate how humbled i am by everyone who has taken the time to tell me how theyve seen themselves in hunger au. And the fic is just getting started!!! The fact that people are resonating this hard with it at only 5 chapters in just blows me away. Its everything ive wanted for this fic. Thank you for taking the time to tell me this, because im truly so grateful that i am making an impact with it, no matter how small or personal.

[pansyboybloom]

asking this off anon bc im going to try and sound as genuine and non-argumentative as possible because i just genuinely want to know your views and such, and im just trying to have an actual conversation about this instead of being a dick bc that helps nobody

in a reply to an ask you said that theres no "systemic" transmisandry/transandrophobia/etc- what would you call the specific act of trans men being denied reproductive care such as abortions/birth control/etc because of their "newfound maleness"? is that not a specific type of transphobia that only transgender men face?

another thing is that there have been black butches/trans men (@/doberbutts is someone who has been most vocal about it) who have expressed how differently theyve been treated when being seen as black women vs black men- im on mobile so its difficult for me to find rn but he had a post where there were dozens upon dozens of black folks sharing their stories about that experience. is that not an aspect of transandrophobia?

theres also the hyperinvisibility of trans men, the "little girls cutting off their breasts" rhetoric, jk rowlings entire terf wars essay which just misgenders and belittles autistic trans men, and thats just off the top of my head for things that specifically affect trans men

i see many people say that "transandrophobia is just transphobia" or "its just transphobia and misogyny" and it bothers me that instead of giving examples of targetted transphobia against trans men, a lot of folks who disagree with that will just say "well you saying that is transandrophobia!". which isnt an actual argument! so thats why i wanted to say something bc its not something i see brought up very often.

okay as i have said on every ask , i just like to establish first each time: i am schizoaffective and have a very hard time articulating myself, so i promise none of what i say is aggressive and if it comes off as so that is not my intent, my brains just fucked. im gonna break this down into chunks to hopefully make it easier to manage, as i can be uh. long winded haha. this got LONG so it's going under a cut!

in a reply to an ask you said that theres no "systemic" transmisandry/transandrophobia/etc- what would you call the specific act of trans men being denied reproductive care such as abortions/birth control/etc because of their "newfound maleness"? is that not a specific type of transphobia that only transgender men face?

so in a (non-mean! ) way i actually laughed at this one bc im dealing with this right now. i want to get my legal sex changed, but I've also been dealing with some down there stuff and a potential cyst and random bleeding despite like 5 years on t, so i need an ultrasound and repeated visits to a gyno. so, i need to use insurance, but if i change my sex, they won't cover it. and i have another, longer-term problem: i want bio kids, badly. but i also want phallo. to get phallo, i need to have lived legally as a male for a given number of years, but in getting pregnant, ill have to deal with much harder insurance problems with an M on my certificate. So, i understand that these are very, very real problems! However, medical malpractice and discrimination aren't a trans male-only issue.

Trans women also deal with medical things being denied to them. One particularly horrid example is cancer screenings. Trans women can get breast cancer and prostate cancer, but have a hard time getting screening, or even treatment, for one or the other (or both!) covered depending on what's on their birth certificate/legal sex. So, this is discrimination we absolutely share, just in different ways. That's why I would refer to it as medical transphobia as a whole.

Also, I would argue it is tied to misogyny, not 'misandery'. I think a lot of what trans men face is, as i call it, 'lingering' misogyny. Because we are still viewed as women by many, we are treated as such and are impacted by their sexism, like medical abuse and malpractice.

Now this isn't the same as transmisogyny. That particular term was coined by Julia Serano and means (this is a mouthful, get ready) "sexism [towards trans women] that arises out of a synergetic interaction between oppositional sexism [sexism that is rooted in the presumption that female and male are rigid, mutually exclusive, “opposite” sexes, each possessing a unique and non-overlapping set of attributes, aptitudes, abilities, and desires] and traditional sexism. It accounts for [...] why trans women face [a specific form] of sexualization and misogyny." basically, in layman's terms, a type of sexism that comes from the interaction between a very specific, binarist and essentialist form of transphobia and 'basic' misogyny.

(that's another reason why i dont like 'transmisandery/androphobia' as the 'opposite' or 'male form' of transmisogyny. transmisogyny doesn't mean misogyny trans women face. it is far more complex than that!)

another thing is that there have been black butches/trans men (@/doberbutts is someone who has been most vocal about it) who have expressed how differently theyve been treated when being seen as black women vs black men- im on mobile so its difficult for me to find rn but he had a post where there were dozens upon dozens of black folks sharing their stories about that experience. is that not an aspect of transandrophobia?

this is something i won't speak much on, as I am white, so i feel my opinion isn't really appropriate to give. but it does remind me-- absolutely not saying it's the same, or to the same degree of severity, just reminds me-- of how I've been seen differently as a fat person. i am treated with vastly different versions of disgust, sexualization, expectation, aggression, etc as a fat man now than i did as a fat woman-- especially in getting treatment for anorexia and bulimia. but i feel like defining that as 'male-specific fatphobia' creates a binary that grossly oversimplifies the culture and systematic abuse that causes fatphobia. once again, not the same as anti-Blackness, not the same degree of abuse in any way shape, or form, especially since there is a lot of cultural and sociological context there that i am not privy to.

theres also the hyperinvisibility of trans men, the "little girls cutting off their breasts" rhetoric, jk rowlings entire terf wars essay which just misgenders and belittles autistic trans men, and thats just off the top of my head for things that specifically affect trans men

i have talked about most of these and the narrative of the delusional little girl before, and have a quote by Julia Serano (and two other trans men quoted inside it) that i really like, so I'll post some of that here.

The quote:

There is most certainly a connection between the values given between men and women in our culture, and the media's fascination with depicting trans women rather than trans men [...] Although the number of people transitioning in each direction is relatively equal these days, media coverage would have you believe there is a huge disparity in the populations of trans men and women. Jamison Green, a trans man who authored a 1994 report that led to the city of San Francisco's decision to extend its civil rights protections to include gender identity, once said this about the media coverage of that event: "Several times at the courthouse, when the press was doing interviews, I stood by and listened as reporters inquired who wrote the report. And when I was pointed out to them as the author, I could see them looking right through me, looking past me to find the man in a dress who must have wrote the report and who they would want to interview. More than once, a reporter asked me incredulously 'You wrote the report?' They assumed that because of my 'normal' appearance, that I wouldn't be newsworthy." Indeed. The media tend not to notice, or outright ignore, trans men because they are unable to sensationalize them the way they do trans women without bringing masculinity itself into question. And in a world where modern psychology was founded on the teaching that 'all little girls suffer from penis envy,' most people think striving for masculinity is a perfectly reasonable goal. Author and sex activist, Patrick Califia, who is a trans man, addresses this in his 1997 book 'Sex Changes: The Politics of Transgenderism'. "It seems the world is still more titillated by a man who wants to be a woman than it is by a woman who wants to become a man. The first is scandalous, the latter is taken for granted. This reflects the very different levels of privilege men and women have in our society. Of course, women would want to be men, the general attitude seems to be, and of course, they can't, and that's that." - Julia Serano (and quoted, Jamison Green and Patrick Califia) on the relationships between trans women and men's visibility in the media, as part of her essay, Skirt Chasers: Why the Media Depicts Trans Revolution in Lipstick and Heels, found in chapter 2 of her book, Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Feminism and the Scapegoating of Femininity (2nd. Edition)

The two posts:

in regards to that last quote: i think that comes down to why i don't believe the reason trans men are punished for 'becoming' men is because of hate for the masculinity they are becoming. a trans woman is punished for leaving behind manhood and treated with disgust for adopting femalehood because purposefully abandoning the ideal and powerful in society (men) to become the despised and weak in society (women) is 'unbelievably unnatural' and dangerous to the structure of society. the lamb eating the lion, the child killing the parent. not the same exactly, but i think it's a similar reason as to why feminine gay/gnc/etc men are called 'pansies' and 'sissies' and such, they are abandoning masculinity for femininity which is Disgusting and Wrong. Not the same obviously, but coming from the same general hierarchy.

trans men, on the other hand, are reaching for that 'ideal'. we are trying to leave behind the despised and weak, and that's so silly, so pathetic, you stupid little girl, you really think you can be the top in society? that's why radfems and similar 'feminists' say we are betraying our sex; they see it as leaving behind safety (women) for the enemy (men). to them, we are leaving them to rot in alone womanhood while we try to become the privileged ones stepping on their necks. this is also why the narrative surrounding trans women is predatory and sexual-- women only have power through sex, so a man would only want to leave manhood for sexual gratification-- while the narrative for us is that we are pathetic and tricked. women are stupid and delusional if they believe they could ever leave behind our oppression for privilege, so obviously it must be outside influence to give us such ridiculous ideas.

and

and like, building on top of last post: that's why i don't see me being discriminated against as a trans man as something uniquely tied to anti-maleness / misandery/ androphobia / etc, but instead, just a facet of transphobia and misogyny (as well as ableism and such for me personally, but im talking bigger picture). I'm seen as a ruined woman because i betrayed gender roles. to them, im not transitioning because i am, ya know, actually a man, instead, i'm purposefully clawing my way out of the pit and hightailing it to the top, which is threatening. society doesn't like when women (trans men) are suddenly trying to be a class that is protected and privileged. im not transitioning to get access to privilege, but that's what it looks like to a transphobe, be them conservative man or radfem. im scary because im rocking the boat, not because im masculine, and they hate me because im showing their binary and hierarchy are false, not because im masculine. im stupid and delusional and a failure and a silly little girl and a bamboozled idiot tricked by trans women as well as a ruined woman and a rotten woman because of misogynistic binary power structures, not because im a dude. ya know? anyways, what holds me back is the gender binarist, cissexist, transphobic, and misogynistic stew that affects all trans people, just differently on a systemic and individual level

like i said earlier, a lot of my beliefs boil down to, we are seen as women and therefore face 'lingering' misogyny, which combines with the sex binary, sex essentialism, and cissexism-- which make up transphobia, in my personal definition of it-- to describe our experiences. not as anything having to do with being male, simply not being female, shattering the notion of what a woman can and should be, and leaving behind a broken hierarchy along with deviant, rotten women who must be punished.

as for the autistic manifesto jkr went on, i know of it but have never read the whole thing and, frankly, as someone who is avoiding college hw right now by doing this, i really don't have the time to. im open to reading it in the future and contacting you to share my thoughts if you'd like? no pressure!

(also, seasonal depression is kicking my butt and im not sure if doing so would be great for my mental health at the moment. reading 'the transgender craze seducing our daughters' almost broke me lol. like i said, ill read it if i can and get back to you. don't want to speak on it if i haven't read it, ya know?)

Anyways, I hope this helped some? I did my best haha. if you have any other questions, PLEASE don't hesitate to ask

[natsmagi]

The growth of their relationship is so good (and sadly a lot is gated in !) but whenever I see someone who loves one and hates the other I wonder...how? They've both played a part in each other's progress (and let's not forget how explicit the story's been about Eichi and Natsume's colour being the same and where Natsume could have ended up without Switch)

i guess some people just see the very surface level way they treat each other aswell as how the fandom has basically reduced them either to "natsume punches and berates tsumugi" or "tsumugi is a master manipulator that started the war and doesnt deserve natsumes forgiveness" or some shit like that 😭😭

i do definitely understand ntmg not being everyones cup of tea though. their dynamic is a very strong and overbearing one and some people dont really wanna deal with their baggage im sure AKJSHFKJH

IT DOES MAKE ME VERY SAD THOUGH WHEN PPL COMPLETELY UNDERMINE THE IMPORTANCE THEYVE PLAYED IN EACH OTHERS LIVES........ from when they were kids and finally felt seen in one another because they had the same goals in life where they both just wanted to be a shining star that makes people happy to make their moms proud, to tsumugi learning how to "feel pain and everything else" due to the impact natsume had on him. the two of them are far from perfect but because the two are also vastly different in nature it makes it easier for them to spot their flaws and better themselves. and again, they do at the end of the day have the same goal. conflict isnt a bad thing; when tackled correctly it can help you truly flourish and better yourself. and i really love the way ntmgs story tackles these things. i enjoy the nuance in their relationship and i enjoy how at the end of the day they truly do just want whats best for the other because they mean so much to them. but im well aware conflict also makes many people uncomfortable so oh well what can u do

[saltminerising]

"We're going to take feedback" but then every staff response to players proposing solutions to the problems is "we cant do that because xyz". we cant keep mass pings bc harassment and security. we cant make pinglists usable by other people because how does that interact with blocking? (figure that out then. if someone blocks op they probably don't wanna be on their pinglist anyway.) we cant do this or that thing that would be a net positive for the userbase and economy because...it would be bad actually.

Staff are coming off as very unwilling to compromise with their playerbase. They want pinglists to function without even a slight chance for misuse, but thats flat-out just not possible. They say theyre open to feedback but theyve only been receptive to minor tweaking (like subscriptions/numbers being private) and nothing that addresses the bigger problems. The aim should be to minimize the risk of bad actors without massively negatively impacting the way players have had things running for years, not hurt everyone by trying to erase the possibility entirely.

This isnt "bridging the gap," this is looking at people telling them how to bridge the gap and telling them that the gap needs to be there, because if we put a bridge down, someone bad could cross it.

maybe when they see a decrease in gem sales because less people are able to buy and sell accents/skins/expensive g1s when they sunset mass pings theyll realize their mistake.

sorry for this essay and a half but it is just. really frustrating to me how little staff is listening. the least they could do is say "we'll talk about this idea internally" rather than shooting it down outright immediately

[cupcraft]

lukeblissfali house md rant in your inbox hope you dont mind ^_^. as much as i love this show it has a kind of biggish issue of just. not having consequences for a lot of stuff. Like houses big hallucination affair. nothing ever came of it. We got a nod to it when wilson tried to gaslight house abt seeing his old team but like that was it. Hes completely unaffected by it. they put so much weight on it in the episode but that was it. in the ONE episode. i wish they would like. stick to it. House’s leg was healed and then 3 episodes later hes back on his vicodin and hes exactly the same as before he was shot. like no growth. no changes. Same thing with the tritter situation. He went to rehab he almost went to jail etc etc but he didnt do anything afterwards. No growth no conseuqnece no big change. the only time theyve done actual consequences well imo is after vogler or whatever left and took his money the hospital is shown to be continuously be looking for funding which makes sense. But thats it!!! So many arcs where house has to do something about his addiction, he heals a little bit, and then everyone forgets about it. obv addition healing isnt one way but the way nobody acknowledges it drives me nuts. Like wheres the lasting damage!!! PLEASEEEE

I do think there is a lot of good focus of when House relapses after his ketamine treatment, however there are a lot of arcs I wish had more care. I also think especially not from House, but from the others. I really wish people gained more understanding into House's addiction & disability & there was more impact to his several mental health crises. As much as i was like helpme what the fuck for scenes like the knife in wall socket scene, it's more treated like a gag by the narrative and not like huh wow this guy is not doing well mentally that he wanted to experience a death experience again for fun. I do wish there was more of a narrative focus on this.

[narwhalandchill]

yknow as much as the (deserved) inazuma backlash has clearly changed hoyos writing for the better i do think there v much is one completely wrong lesson theyve taken from it and thats incorporating story quests into the AQ sequence (and specifically how theyve never attempted it again)

the concept itself was Never inherently bad. in fact it unironically has a ton of potential bc you could lessen the need for sudden character specific exposition in the AQ AND pull off way more high-stakes and timeline-specific plotlines in the SQs by ensuring players will experience it at the intended place and time.

the issue was that they introduced a bleak depressing inazuma in the middle of a fucking civil war and then went omg AQ on pause!!! lets go to a festival with ayaka and u will be her first friend ever OwO yoimiyas is at least vastly better written and actually involves the VH and sakoku decrees so its always been a favorite of mine but even then im sure theres things worth criticism in there its just been 2 years so i cant analyze it off the top of my head. but the greatest offender has always been the way ayakas comes with such a complete tonal dissonance it just takes you out of the atmosphere they spent the entire act I building up.

and it rly makes me sad bc i Know hoyo took the backlash about interrupted pacing and disjointed tone as "ok story quests bad as AQ requirements" when its like. no the one you wrote just sucked

AQ incorporated story quests need to have a damn good reason to be mandatory at that specific point and while its far from perfect i DO think yoimiyas fulfills that! but ayakas doesnt! at all! and like im realizing the issue is also in how genshins made it a standard that a character must receive a story quest Instantly on release. so i guess ayakas had to be in between acts I and II for plot reasons but like. that being the case then the story quest itself shouldve focused on a completely different theme as opposed to her very predictable tropey personal problems that werent even explored properly imo. like im sure plenty of depth and nuance in her characterization was lost in translation but i almost cry laughed the first time the restaurant vendor went "oh ayaka is lonely because she is so perfect that no one sees her as a friend but instead an aspiration" like what in the 3rd grader writing mary sue self insert fic tarnation 💀 you couldve worded that exact same concept in 12 different ways to make it actually sound poignant and you did That SHAHSKSJSKDLJH

(and a quick addition before i get accused of being a blind hater hater lmao. here goes: "the burdens of miss ayakas position as the public face of the kamisato make it difficult for her to shed the mask of practiced perfection. i think people struggle to see her as a person whod enjoy simple things in life like friendship just like everyone else when theyre so used to viewing her as an unreachable figurehead." there. now its way more clearly nuanced. this took me 3 minutes and is far from any fluid writing yet. the difference is staggering)

but like. as a result this ambiguous timeline limbo most story quests end up falling into is genuinely a shame bc i do think theres potential in attempting the ayaka n yoi thing again but with characters for whom it makes sense and actually enhances the AQ experience by necessitating it. and yeah yeah ik genshin wants to be casual friendly so they dont want to force ppl to do quests they dont like for AQ so its unrealistic to expect them to ever try it out again but man

as long as they pick the right place and time and characters for it they could massively alleviate the issue of some story quests contents ending up feeling like somewhat empty fluff bc they cant assume what point a player will be in the main plot could be so they lack actually impactful lore and or character beats.

obviously im not a writer at hoyo and idk how much backlash the ayaya/yoi situation got them but like. idk. taking the lesson "never do anything like inazuma again" isnt rly what id consider the full picture. inazuma does suck and has clunky moments throughout but like in 2.0 people were still hype! inazuma had good ideas and concepts and attempted sth that couldve been great the issue isnt inazuma bad on all levels its that they never delivered its potential and 2.1 was an incredible letdown.

[m3djed]

growing up with family friends whos kids were already teenagers/adults when you were born is kinda crazy cuz youve known them your whole life but theyve only known you a fraction of theirs. so they have way more of an impact on you than you do on them cuz youre a kid and dont know very many people. well i just realized thats me now, for my parents newer friends kids. it feels a little strange knowing theyre gonna grow up and remember me as one of the first teenagers to be a consistent presence in their lives

[embraceyourdestiny]

OK hold on re: possibly empty Sora!! I've had this thought ever since Remind came out but haven't dared to say it but fuck it. The Sora Kairi combo attack confuses me so much. Why are they not using their keyblades, why is there no combined keyblade like with Riku, why are their memory wings scattering, and most importantly, why is it called One Heart? Romance of course, people will yell, and then stone me for denying it. I have a tinfoil hat theory that it's literal. There is only one heart present here. Sora is already fading away. Sora's heart is somewhere else, there is only one heart here. Or it's nothing but it keeps bugging me considering KH3 is so ripe with hidden meanings and triple twists.

I 100% AGREE AT THAT 'ONE HEART' THOUGHT!!!

I think at this point they might be similar to vanitas in that theyre hearts arent strong enough on their own so they work together to become "One". And i think its bc of the velocity their hearts are traveling (metaphorically but also a bit literally) and the fact that theyre going in opposite directions: kairi quickly coming back to the world of the living and reforming her heart and sora RAPIDLY descending into unexistence, and i think their hearts met at the Perfect intersection in this suspended time to defeat xehanort once and for all. Poetic for certain. Romantic love, i dont think so, since thats never the case with them. (QPP?? likely). This connection is also likely why sora "helps" kairi in mom and they Become One. I think their hearts are forever connected and theyve had so much Fucky shit done with each other's hearts and who knows, maybe its gone as far back as kh1 and the fact that sora housed kairi's heart all those years (in our time, like 2 years for them lol) made it so their hearts Locked into place and were Forever One. God, i love kairi and sora and sokai in any capacity so much. I really really truly hope they'll be given their justice and come to understand each other properly and thoroughly in kh4. no more lies and full honest support. no more loft expectations, unintentional or not (bc we all know about kairi but sora also expects and RELIES on kairi acting and existing in the world a certain way. maybe i should write abt that one day hmm) i NEED it. i need them to learn each other's truths and love each other even more. i need kairi to stop being side lined bc shes always and only been a vital piece in the background and yet DIRECTLY impacts the mainfront constantly with no recognition, esp bc of how much she influences sora (AND SAVES HIS ASS MULTIPLE TIMES). i need. i need.

[cptnbeefheart]

one thing i really fucking hate about some movies and shows (and what makes me doubt the effectiveness of them) is when they dont have faith in their audience to remember little details/ understand the weight of a detail that has already been revealed. like when a character mentions something that, to a viewer who doesn’t have the background information, can seem vague. so it cuts to a flashback FROM A PREVIOUS EPISODE… SOMETHING THEYVE ALREADY SHOWN… i hate it!!!! like stop wasting my time!!! let me connect the dots myself!!!!!!! its not black and white though, i think flashbacks to something already shown can be artful, surrealist, thoughtful, or even stress the importance of an event on a character and its impact on their worldview. but like . it has to have purpose other than going “hey remember this thing that happened a few episodes/ seasons ago?” like FUCK OFF !!!! perhaps it would serve more of a purpose in a time where the details werent easily accessible via the internet but i just hate it. that’s why i liked westworld so much.. it didnt do that but it was almost closer to the other end of the horseshoe where you’d be confused/ miss something and have to watch previous episodes over again since it was densely packed in some aspects. i think some people didn’t like the show because of that very reason or maybe felt like there were some opulent gilded maguffins but idk i didnt feel that way and actually i enjoy hunting for details to connect dots i think its fun i love feeling like charlie kelly pepe silvia