#to invalidating and dismissing her emotions entirely

[stillgotscars]

does anyone else feel nauseous when they think about the transition from “chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons” to “i know my pain is such an imposition,” or is it just me?

[bumbled-bees]

Lily’s Inconsistent Autism Claims

Lily’s inconsistent claims about being autistic reveal a deeply manipulative pattern, one that both exploits and alienates her own audience — many of whom are autistic themselves. By repeatedly shifting her narrative, Lily not only undermines genuine autistic experiences but also manipulates her community’s perception of her behavior and motives.

Lily has, at various points, claimed to have been diagnosed with Asperger’s as a teenager, yet she frequently downplays or outright denies this diagnosis when it no longer benefits her. When acknowledging her diagnosis might require her to show empathy or understanding toward other autistic people, she suddenly insists she’s not autistic and distances herself from the label entirely.

Her inconsistency isn’t just confusing; it’s manipulative. By claiming her autism only when it’s convenient, Lily effectively weaponizes the diagnosis to shield herself from criticism while denying others the same grace.

The Hypocrisy: Her Attitude Toward Other Autistic People

Despite claiming autism when it’s convenient, Lily has openly expressed disdain for autistic people who struggle with masking. Masking — the exhausting process of suppressing natural autistic behaviors to blend into neurotypical social expectations — is widely acknowledged as mentally and emotionally draining. For many autistic individuals, the inability to constantly mask is not a sign of laziness or defiance, but a deeply ingrained struggle.

Lily has reportedly stated she has "no sympathy" for autistic people who don’t mask, openly condemning them as if failing to meet social expectations is a personal failing. This mindset is not just ignorant — it’s cruel. It disregards the immense effort masking requires, especially for those who are overwhelmed, anxious, or fatigued.

What makes this even more insidious is that many of Lily’s own viewers are autistic. She’s cultivated a left-leaning, marginalized audience that includes neurodivergent individuals, abuse survivors, and members of the LGBTQ+ community — groups that often see themselves in her carefully curated “underdog” persona. For her to belittle and invalidate autistic struggles while selectively claiming that same identity for herself is both manipulative and harmful.

This attitude is especially hypocritical given her own well-documented struggles with overstimulation and irritability. During the infamous "gift sub incident", for example, Lily became visibly agitated during a stream when the constant alerts from gifted subscriptions overwhelmed her. While this response seemed to reflect genuine overstimulation — a common autistic trait — Lily refused to extend the same understanding to others facing similar struggles.

The Emotional Toll on Her Audience

The most concerning aspect of Lily’s behavior is how this affects her audience — many of whom are autistic themselves. Because Lily’s community largely consists of marginalized people, including neurodivergent viewers, her inconsistent stance on autism creates an unsettling power dynamic.

For autistic viewers, this sends a damaging message: If Lily can mask “perfectly,” why can’t you?

When Lily denies her autism or belittles those who struggle with masking, she risks alienating the very people who supported her, fostering shame and self-doubt among her viewers.

It sets a precedent in her community that autism is only “valid” if it’s managed in a way that meets her impossible standards. Worse still, her pattern of weaponizing her diagnosis to excuse her own poor behavior distorts what it means to be autistic, reinforcing harmful stereotypes about aggression, rudeness, and selfishness.

By fostering this toxic environment, Lily exploits her neurodivergent audience’s empathy while failing to show any in return. She builds her platform by drawing in marginalized groups, then dismisses or outright attacks those same groups when they don’t align with her views or challenge her behavior.

Tying It to Her Broader Patterns

This pattern ties directly into Lily’s broader tendencies. Just like her misuse of “boundaries” to justify hostility, her shifting autism narrative is another way she controls the conversation. If she’s criticized for her behavior, she claims autism to demand sympathy. But if she’s called to show compassion or understanding for others, she denies the diagnosis entirely to absolve herself of that responsibility.

Lily’s inability to maintain a consistent stance on her autism speaks to her larger pattern of impulsivity and short-term thinking. Rather than presenting a stable identity, she continually shifts her narrative to “win” whatever argument she’s currently having — even if that means directly contradicting herself. In doing so, she creates an environment where her audience is encouraged to rely on her word alone, without questioning her motives or verifying her claims.

Conclusion: A Manipulative Cycle

Lily’s selective identification as autistic — combined with her cruel attitude toward those who genuinely struggle — is yet another calculated tactic designed to manipulate her audience. By using autism as both a shield and a weapon, she exploits her neurodivergent viewers’ empathy while avoiding accountability for her actions. The result is a toxic, confusing environment where her audience is left unsure of what’s real, what’s performative, and whether their own struggles are being mocked behind the scenes.

Whether Lily is truly autistic or not isn’t something we can confirm with certainty. While her claims of a past Asperger’s diagnosis and her visible overstimulation during the “gift sub incident” may suggest authenticity, her exploitative behavior undermines any genuine credibility. What’s clear is that Lily treats autism — like so many other aspects of her identity — as a tool for manipulation. Rather than embracing the realities of autism with honesty or compassion, she distorts it to suit her immediate needs, often at the expense of her vulnerable, neurodivergent audience.

A/N: I know I don't give much information about myself, but I will confirm that I am autistic. Diagnosed and all.

[olderthannetfic]

My original story and the woes of being in a group with people who's entire personality seems to be "owning the cishets" and dismissing that bisexuality with M/F attraction exists.

I got this character who had a massive crush on a girl who broke his heart real bad. He later gets with a dude who happens to be related to the girl. When he meets her again he has this instant emotional reaction and basically falls really hard for her again, and is desperate to be close to her. Yadda yadda, don't need to go deeper into it beyond that. Basically he's loves his partner, but had a massive rush feels.

I've been told that's comphet. That it's erasing my character's sexuality: he's bi, his male partner is also bi. That I'm excusing cheating: there's no cheating. That I'm invalidating same gender attraction and playing into "You're not gay it's a phase, you just need the right (het) partner." He was never gay, he was into her before his current partner.

Lord of ass give me strength because I'm about to whoop these people's.

--

[jess-the-vampire]

In the au where Evelyn is also alive, would Philip and Evelyn at some point start to get along or at least put their differences aside or would they continue to hate eachother forever?

personally i want to think they eventually would put their differences aside, even if it takes a long time

the way i've interpreted caleb and evelyn as characters, is caleb is far more empathetic then evelyn is, he's prone to being understanding of others and it's how he comes to understand witches to begin with

despite how much he bottles up his own emotions, and is constantly putting on a facade because he's grown up having to do so, he really does try to see good in others where he can

so despite how angry he is at his brother and hurt, and how much he torments and blames himself for what happened with philip, he still wants to forgive philip, especially after coming to terms with the abusive situation they grew up under and how bad it was

because for him, his brother is someone in need of guidance, and he feels entirely responsible for how he turned out

evelyn on the other hand, while also being empathetic, is characterized by me as being much more stubborn and far less forgiving

as far as she's concerned, caleb shouldn't be putting so much on himself and he's wasting his life trying to fix his brother, especially after what philip tried to do

she gets it, she really does, she doesn't want to dismiss how much caleb loves his brother, so she doesn't try and fight it, she just heavily disagrees that philip is worth their time and that caleb should be trying to help him

for her, philip betrayed him, no matter the circumstances, and caleb should care about the family they've built together and focus solely on that

neither of these stances are entirely invalid, evelyn and caleb both entirely get where the other is coming from even if they disagree

[mirrorcatcreditcard]

Ivan and Luka parallels and contrast

Point four~: who they are, their personalities

These two idiots won't stop invalidating themselves for shit. It's chronically unhealthy, and it shows up in two different ways: masking and repression.

Luka was bred and raised to be without his own will and goals or to believe the goals he is forced to have are his. There is not much independence when it comes to him, yet his search for autonomy/freedom lingers on everyone he encounters.

Ivan was emotionally neglected for as long as we have known him. His relationship with Unsha is described as "business partners" (or something similar). He couldn't have been that old when he was adopted, yet it was already more formalities than care.

Luka was groomed for the segyein, while Ivan was just neglected on all ends when it came to personality and emotions. Their sense of self, their "independence" looks different than what we think of when we say those words.

Their actual personalities are hidden, yet around their person of affection they are honest in odd ways that make people dismiss them. Hyuna never took Luka seriously when he showed possessiveness of her. Till brushed Ivan off as an annoying and constant presence.

Luka takes this mask further due to his training and can control his own heartbeat. Ivan, on the other hand, is deceptive and pretends to feel a favorable way.

Many people I know just don't know who Luka and Ivan are as people (away from other people) because of the constant masking and the conflicting messages their actions show. They're repressed and stuck in their heads (like most of the cast). They have a recurring theme of both thinking how they see the world is the objective truth, and that they are not an entity unto themselves.

"I've observed much, and this must be right because I know the cause and effect" Ivan to the "this results in my comfortable worth so this must be true" Luka.

What are their true selves? The fuck if anyone knows. Vivinos admits to nobody (probably) being able to understand their hearts/emotions. And that's okay. People who don't know who they are or can't be known fully are just as deserving of love and care as someone who knows what the pieces mean. Trauma can fragment or distort a person. They're still a person. When your entire life is spent in abuse, the abuse does define you a bit. It's not a bad thing if you're still stuck in your situation or just coming out. Nobody should expect a victim to be whole while being a victim.

Ivan doesn't have self-worth because of his invalidation his upbringing and experiences with socialization gave him. Luka is self destructive because all that he has ever been told that he exists for is the stage and the audience.

At the end of it all, they've been alone and not understood or listened to by others around them. Whether called weird or laughed off, their true natures are repeatedly trampled on, even by the viewers who know them as fiction.

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

[myreia]

wip wednesday

thanks for the tags @lilbittymonster & @anneapocalypse! 💕 tagging @thevikingwoman @galadae @lilas @sarenraegalpaladin @tsunael I missed Wednesday, so consider this a tag for next week if you'd like! 💖

I haven't worked on this pre-Ultima Thule fight in a few weeks, it's taking me a while to get through this fic.

“I would be more keen to listen if you weren’t talking foolishness. Sympathy? For Ascians? After all they have done, everything they have wrought, after Zodiark—”

“I don’t deny that. I will never deny that—”

“Then what? Why are you defending them?”

“I’m not!” She grits her teeth, an angry flush scalding her cheeks. Tears pang in the corners of her eyes, hot and furious, and she blinks them back. She can’t cry. Not now. To cry would be a betrayal, invalidating her point by letting her emotions sweep her away. It would be too easy to dismiss the months she has let these feelings fester in her heart as just a reaction to exhaustion and nerves. “I simply think that no one person—be they goddess or mortal—should be the judge of an entire civilization!”

Her voice rings out across the harbour, only to be swallowed by the rushing waves. He looks away, hunched over with his hands on his knees, and stares out at the horizon. Somewhere beyond the sea lies Eorzea. Idyllshire and Ishgard. Ala Mhigo and Gridania. Limsa Lominsa and Ul’dah, and all the places beyond. Those they have called home, and those they have sworn to protect.

The world they both love.

They sit there, side-by-side and yet never more distant from one another, the snow now falling in earnest. It’s a long time before either of them speak.

“I don’t want to fight with you,” Thancred says quietly at last. Something tinges his voice—regret? Guilt? Frustration with both her and himself? She doesn’t know. “Let us put this aside and speak no more of it.”

Aureia’s jaw clenches. The dismissal stings. “I’m not putting this aside.”

“Aur, please—”

“I’m not.” She swallows the lump in her throat. “I can’t do that.”

“Agh…” He grimaces and looks away, passing a hand across his face. He presses his fingertips to his furrowed brow, exhaustion creeping into his expression. However he imagined this final night would go, this is not it. “Of all nights to do this, must it be this one?”

“Do this? Do what, exactly? I’m not the one arguing—”

“But you are the one who cannot let it go. Have I not made it clear? This is not a conversation I am willing to have.”

She grits her teeth. Her foot bangs against the pier, jarring pain shooting up her ankle from the impact. “Why? Why can’t you hear me out?”

“Because, Aureia, it is absurd!” He turns sharply, hazel eyes sweeping over her as if searching for answers in her expression. Some simple explanation for the questions she has asked and the way she is crumbling beneath their weight. “I love you—gods know I do—but there are times when even I cannot comprehend the path you have willfully taken yourself down.”

She freezes, her fingers stiff and cold in the snowy air. Simple words, and yet they strike straight to her core.

I love you, but you’re in the wrong.  

I love you, but you broke the faith I had in you.  

I love you, but I no longer trust you.

I love you, but.

[whispersofthealchemist]

A Letter to the Inner Child Who Longed to Be Seen💖

The Unseen Child Within There is a child within me—one who has spent years searching for validation, for a moment of recognition in a world that seldom meets itself at the depths of the soul. That child, full of boundless creativity, love, and passion, once poured her essence into words, feelings, care, and art, only to be met with silence or misunderstanding.

The Struggles of a Sensitive Soul She didn’t know that many walking in grown-up bodies had never met themselves fully, never touched the depths of their own wounds, never truly sat with their pain. She didn’t know that their inability to understand her was never about her worth but about their own unhealed fractures. And so, she questioned herself. She learned to shrink, to adapt, to mold herself into what was acceptable. The Burden of Attachment Being a small child—dependent on caregivers for material, emotional, and spiritual sustenance—is both a blessing and a curse. In that delicate state of reliance, we form attachments that shape our entire existence. Whether it be codependency, where love feels like a desperate grasp for security, or avoidance, where love becomes a thing too dangerous to embrace—the price is paid daily. The little self, in her innocence, did not know that survival sometimes meant betraying her own needs. Choosing a New Path But today, I choose differently. Today, I write a validating letter to every fragment of myself that was left unrecognized. To the child who sought love but was met with cold distance. To the heart that overflowed with feeling but was told she was ‘too much.’ To the soul who was dismissed, invalidated, and left questioning her very existence.

Words of Validation You were never too much. You were never wrong for feeling deeply. You were never unworthy of love. Every act of creation—every word written, every brushstroke painted, every moment of care—was not in vain. It was your spirit refusing to be silenced. And now, I see you. I honor you. I am learning to articulate your emotions, to give voice to what was once swallowed. Breaking Free and Embracing Joy This is the journey of breaking free. Of no longer carrying subconscious blocks that weigh me down and keep me tethered to the past. The high price of unhealed wounds is no longer mine to pay. I release myself into the freedom I have always deserved. I am reclaiming my spirit. I am stepping into joy. I am finally living as the whole, unshackled, radiant being I was always meant to be. A Promise to My Inner Child And so, to my inner child—I see you, I hear you, and I will never abandon you again.

[edwardsissyhandsthtdanceslikeabb]

ok so i'm replaying a game from my childhood (yay) and the premise, as is rife in many reductive, child-centric tales centering some moral or life lesson, is very dismissive towards the antagonist.

although it undoubtedly still holds up, the my little pony game is glaringly dismissive of how and why someone would be pushed to the point that "nightmare moon" gets to, alongside the game's entire premise centering the erasure of her magic and undermining her into submission. her quest to shroud equestria in night literally stems from deep seated feelings of inadequacy and a reaction as aggrieved as the overtness of dismissiveness and latent bias present in the ponies, demonstrated even in the connotation of "nightmare" moon as if night is inherently plagued and vile and inferior and ontologically made to be shunned and rebuked. ultimately, she retaliates due to the ponies neglecting the importance and beauty of her magic. and when she understandably feels some type of way abt that bc they're ungrateful and celestia gets all the hype and clout and is basically deified to the point that the whole game revolves around sucking off her magic and invalidating nightmare moon, she's treated as if she's unreasonable despite nighttime being vital to every living beings health and wellbeing and it being a reasonable request that they also appreciate her bc she's literally allowing the ingrates to sleep and rest like what if she fucked off forever and you shits were stuck on that antarctic timing like you wouldn't glaze celestia then I can tell you that for free.

THEN as punishment for nightmare moon lashing out a lil and feeling justifiably scorned, she's incarcerated for all time!?? as if that's all proportional or valid considering how she got to that point and the underlying emotions she was wrestling with??? like if celestia is powerful enough to jail her already suffering sister to forever dungeon (1 million years dungeon literally 🍋) one would assume that she could've done something less cruel and extreme and that should've been a last resort? like god forbid she speak to her like a person and actually hear her out instead of villainizing her and the narrative implicitly demanding that she temper herself and acquiesce and that her having pride in her craft and artistry is innately wrong bc only one can be glorious or receive appreciation and claim dominion. it builds a narrative that relegates less conventional and desirable, more melancholic dispositions to inferiority, subservience, that dictates that they minimize themselves and not demand autonomy and respect and are most of all, fundamentally undeserving of it. it damns nightmare moon for something she cannot control yet they all need. like not to shit on princess celestia but wtf lol.

[krisrisk]

if you are a neurodivergent parent, it's important to know what happened to you and how you built up reactions to that treatment.

Every parent reaches a point where their kids (teens rather) dismiss what is being told. And most parents shrug and sigh and move on.

But if you're neurodiverse, chances are you got invalidated your entire life, so you might have built a somewhat instinctive reaction to that dismissal. And it's important to challenge that.

I had to talk to kidteen about how her complete dismissive behaviour towards me giving advice not just hurts "a little". It literally triggers a very emotional reaction, *because* i have been neglected, overlooked and dismissed by the entire world for all my life.

That doesn't mean that i get to lash out every time she rejects what i say. It means i need to work on that. But also talking about it and realizing this, has made it clear that she also needs to consider wether she is hurting me (which is very hard for her) and have some understanding of why i react the way i do (even harder). It's not an excuse. Simply an explanation.

And it's really important for every parent to think about themselves.

[evidence-based-activism]

Absolutely shameless male-loving that I never expected from someone as otherwise intelligent and eloquent as yourself. I'd expect this from the sort that shill blowjob tips for tweens.

You ignored the important point. Throwing a water balloon at someone and hitting them with a bus are both technically assault, but that it's stupid to go by technicalities. You can't really telling me we need to view both the same way. That's what you are advocating. It's not throwing them "under the bus" as one of your commenters said, to admit there is no "bus" heading towards them, only more people wanting to coddle them.

I don't care if you post evidence that the water balloon-hit people have such as high rates of substance abuse etc. You are not seeing the forest for the trees. Common sense can tell you they did not suffer nearly as much as the second group. Exactly like how men think being denied sex is equal abuse to being strangled.

You already posted the evidence they don't and can't suffer the same way. You highlighted it barely happens, it's not a societal harm when it does, they get tons of support anyway, they use it to manipulate women, and tons of other more important points. How do you conclude these poor men suffer and are victims of the same caliber, and women need to respect them as much as rape victims.

Sorry if this is frustrated, it's like watching someone brilliantly reduce a complex math problem all the way down to 2X = 4 and then somehow declare X = 17 because compassion. You can have compassion if you want but it doesn't change the equation when it comes to actual activism. It doesn't make these men special or real victim. It doesn't change anything on any level that matters.

Why are you suddenly an individualist when it comes to such an important issue. Is this a lead-up to become a white-rights champion?

Alright-y anon, I have received more asks on this topic than any other single post I've made so ... have you considered that you're the one hyper-focused on male victims?

This ask is A Lot, and I'll try and address the points you've raised, but first a few quick notes:

Very amused by the back-handed compliments! Yes, I am intelligent, eloquent, and brilliant. Thank you for noticing :)

Using (perceived) association with sex acts is still misogynistic, even when you don't like/don't agree with the woman in question!!

---

Next, this ask was somewhat difficult to answer because ... it's essentially a string of logical fallacies all thrown together. I'd urge you to research logical fallacies to see how they invalidate/weaken your arguments and (can) distort your worldview. In particular, I'd consider:

McNamara/quantitative fallacy -- basing an argument only on quantitative data and entirely ignoring qualitative differences. (For an example of why this is a problem, see this post.) (You'll even like this example! It's about how quantitative scales can inflate women's violence rates and underestimate men's.)

Invincible ignorance fallacy -- the "sticking your head in the sand" approach to arguments (i.e., ignoring all evidence provided that contradicts your argument).

Red herrings -- introducing a second argument (e.g., "white rights") to distract from the first. Ad hominem attacks (where you attack the argue-r instead of the argue-ment) are an example of this.

Appeals to emotion -- particularly appeal to flattery, appeal to ridicule, and judgemental language.

Fallacy of relative privation -- dismissing an argument on the basis that "it could be/other things are worse" (or alternately, "it could be/other things are better").

But also: ecological fallacy, false dilemma, false equivalence, moving the goalposts, proof by assertion/argument from repetition, personal incredulity fallacy, prevalent proof/bandwagon fallacy, and false analogy. (This is not a complete list of the fallacies included in this ask.)

For example: the entire water balloon - bus analogy (false analogy) is incoherent. I assume the "water balloon" was meant to represent male victimization and the "bus" female victimization. But to start with being hit with a water balloon isn't remotely traumatic, and I genuinely hope that you are at least able to acknowledge that (for example) a young boy being raped by his father would be traumatized by the experience. (If you cannot acknowledge this, then I strongly suggest you disengage from social media and reconnect with “real life” for a while.) Beyond that, being hit with a water balloon is significantly more common that being hit with a bus, which means your analogy fails to maintain internal consistency (i.e., since male victimization is less common, by that measure male victimization would be the "hit by a bus" part ... I think I can safely assume this was not your intention in setting up this metaphor). The inconsistency behind this analogy makes it essentially impossible to address.

You later pair this with the implication that saying "male victims exist and are harmed by abuse" is the same as becoming a "white-rights champion" (false equivalence), which is an absolutely insane conclusion. No, I am not a "white-rights activist". I'm also not a men's rights activist. I'm just capable of understanding both social trends and exceptions to the rule ... without thinking that these exceptions disprove the rule.

---

At this point, I really need to ask ... what is the goal here, anon? What are you looking for?

The (shortened) list of points I've made in this discussion have been:

Most victims are women and most perpetrators are men.

But some victims are men and some perpetrators are women.

Both men and women experience negative effects from victimization; such that -- if you hold all other crime/demographic factors constant -- then the effects are similar between sexes.

We must be able to talk about social trends (the first bullet point) in order to effectively organize around the issue, advance policy, and develop meaningful theories/research/opinions on the issue. This includes correcting misinformation concerning these trends.

We must also be able demonstrate compassion to individuals who do not follow the above social trends.

Feminism is for/about (and should be for/about) women.

It's reasonable (and good!) for individuals to create spaces and advocacy groups that address specific demographics, even when those groups/demographics are small.

Which of these points do you disagree with? Why? What arguments/data do you have that support your point of view? What arguments/data do you have to contradict the arguments/data that I have presented?

---

"You can have compassion if you want ... "

This is hilarious!! I am not asking for permission! And for the record, no one (including you) needs permission to have/not have any thoughts/feelings! Because it is both impossible and immoral to regulate people's thoughts!! People can really (anonymously*) say whatever they want on the internet!! *I acknowledge the dystopian reality that free speech doesn’t exist everywhere.

"... but it doesn't change the equation when it comes to actual activism"

Ironically you are right about this. But probably not in the way you think. (More on this later.)

---

"Why are you suddenly an individualist"

I am not :). In fact I very specifically said: "To be clear I don't mean an individualistic-perspective here, although over-emphasis on individual-perspective over class-analysis does lead to an individualistic-perspective."

An individualist is an advocate of individualism, which generally (although, I suppose, technically doesn't have to) advances the rights/importance of the individual above all else. A lot of individualism is bad (e.g., postmodernism), but so is none (e.g., authoritarianism).

Again, I am primarily focused on class-analysis, as I believe it is the best tool for social change (and coherent opinion development). But I don't interact with classes on a day-to-day basis, I interact with individuals. So, it's also important to be able to recognize and respond to situations where an individual does not conform to the trend.

Put simply: activism is for classes, personal interaction is for individuals.

And, again, I answered that ask with a focus on the individual because it asked about individuals.

---

Now, you said that "it doesn't change the equation when it comes to actual activism" and "it doesn't change anything on any level that matters."

Right! No matter what you do/don’t think, we shouldn’t be advancing any victim-negative/perpetrator-positive sentiments. You might even agree with this (despite your apparent lack of empathy for male victims), since every argument made against male victims can also be applied to female victims. (And will be!! You are not making these arguments in a vacuum!!)

Examples:

"Men can't be victims/be hurt because they can fight back/are stronger" -> Okay, and what about when women are stronger than their assailant? Are they at fault? What about the women who freeze who "don't even try to fight"? How do you think this argument would be applied to them?

"Men can't be victims/be hurt because they're aroused during the assault" -> Really? And what about women who are aroused/orgasm during an assault? Which is if not common, also not uncommon. Are these women not victims? Not hurt? (Despite the research showing that such unwanted physical reactions cause significant shame in survivors?)

"Male victims are not common so it doesn't matter/they don't count" -> You know, while researching the Chilean feminist activism for this post, I came across an example of another type of sexual violence that's rare ... even more rare than sexual violence against men. During the Pinochet regime one of the enforcers - a female enforcer even - trained a dog to rape prisoners. Do you really want to assert that this is not harmful or doesn't matter on the basis of it being rare? Are you unable to imagine the horror this would inspire in the victims?

Another one for the prevalence difference: did you know that, while sexual intimate partner violence is more common in low-income countries, non-partner sexual violence is more common in high-income countries [1]? (This is likely the result of differences in opportunity; that is, in higher income countries women have more freedom of movement which results in greater exposure to non-partners.) Do you intend to say that non-partner sexual violence against women doesn't matter in low income countries (because it's more common in high income countries)? Or vice versa for intimate partner sexual violence?

"Abuse against men doesn't matter because men oppress women" -> Yeah, they do. You know who else contributes to the oppression of women? I mean fought against rights to vote/get divorced/get an abortion, actively fought to overturn Roe, supports state-sponsored religion sort of contribute? Conservative women. And you know who also get abused and raped by their husbands and fathers? Conservative women. Are you going to say they don't deserve compassion and assistance? If a conservative woman disclosed that her husband beats her are you going to refuse her help because you disagree/don't like(/maybe even hate) her?

And on that note, do any victims that are also part of an oppressor-class deserve sympathy? If a black man rapes a white woman? Or a lesbian rapes a straight woman? Or a refugee in the global south rapes an aid worker from the global north? Do you afford any of these victims your sympathy? Do you condemn these perpetrators?

There are two possible responses to these questions:

"No! I support all these women! I only mean these things when they're applied to men!" -> And you're accusing me of logical inconsistency? (And how exactly do you expect to advance these arguments without simultaneously hurting the women they apply to?)

"I don't support one or more of the female victims you described above." -> Then, buddy, I have bad news for you on who the misogynist is.

Beyond that, many of the feminist advancements on sexual/intimate partner violence also helped male victims. Consider:

Expanding the the definition of rape to include non-forcible offenses, penetration with objects, and both oral and anal rape.

Including forced/unknowing intoxication as a form of force.

Development of guidelines and expanding awareness of coercion/unequal power dynamics.

Expanding awareness of and increasing ability to report on perpetrators in positions of power.

Reducing social support for rape myths.

Raising the age of consent.

These advancements were primarily made by feminists for female victims. But they also helped male victims (which is not a problem).

So, you're correct that the "activism equation" doesn't change. Activism to help female victims will also help male victims and there is no way to advocate against male victims without also hurting female victims.

So the question for you becomes: What’s more important? Hurting men or helping women?

References below cut:

Violence against women prevalence estimates, 2018: Global, regional and national prevalence estimates for intimate partner violence against women and global and regional prevalence estimates for non-partner sexual violence against women. (2021). World Health Organization. https://www.who.int/publications-detail-redirect/9789240022256

[lav-endermoon]

i think i speak for all of us when i say that i am mentally and emotionally exhausted. aside from many reblogs, i've held off on posting about the wilbur situation for the sole reason that it is difficult for me to cope with. to be clear, i will no longer be posting in support of cc!wilbur or lovejoy, nor will i be interacting with those who continue to. time will tell if i continue posting about his characters - i've been drifting away from dsmp for a while now, and at the moment i feel very uncomfortable associating with anything related to wilbur.

i'm going to take some time off tumblr to process all of this (seriously, if you see me on here, please yell at me), but before i go i want to say that we should thank shelby for exposing the truth, being vulnerable, and opening up conversations that needed to be had. deplatforming wilbur and spreading the word of his actions is important, but our energy also needs to be directed to supporting her.

i hope that after a long series of mcyt scandals (<- for lack of a better word - feels a bit reductive), this is a wakeup call for people to stop putting their emotional stability in the hands of public figures and realize that anything they show us not only could be, but most likely is, a facade. i say "public figures" because this is not an mcyt problem - it's a problem within content creator circles in general. recent situations have displayed what happens when parasociality/idolization becomes dangerous. the amount of people in these communities who resort to downplaying and dismissing victims or blatantly upholding abusers, all in the name of keeping their fave on a pedestal, is disturbing. this is a conversation that needs to continue, for the sake of victims and those who fall into unhealthy patterns of idolization. we need to change the way our communities treat victims, and we need to think critically when engaging with CCs who we will never know personally.

none of this is to say that anyone's feelings of grief are invalid. this is a hard thing to come to terms with. it's hitting me that i was deceived by the person who influenced me to become a songwriter, whose music found me at the most relevant time, who wrote a character who i could connect with during a time where i felt deeply alone, who wrote a story that brought me so much joy and comfort at my darkest hour and inspired so many creative projects. i feel hurt and betrayed. even though all the time and love i devoted to his content was voluntary, i still feel like something has been taken from me. like i've been taken advantage of - not just by him, but by the entire industry that he is a part of. i feel manipulated, threatened, and unsafe, and those feelings have been an undercurrent throughout my time in this fandom.

your attention is quite literally currency, and you should assume that creators will try to exploit it. our brains are hardwired to trust others, not to tell the difference between real human connection and a streamer broadcasting their personal life + showing affection to their audience. don't blame yourself for the effects of an inherently parasocial type of content. don't blame yourself for having an emotional attachment to someone or something that once brought you comfort. be gentle with yourself right now, and going forward, examine how the content you consume makes you feel. how does it make you act? how does it change your thoughts? what biases do you have? these forms of content can be deeply manipulative and putting up a mental boundary is important - and, like shelby said, listen to your gut. we need to remember that they are profiting off of us and learn how to keep ourselves safe psychologically. this is another conversation that needs to continue.

take care of yourselves.

[mechanicalsquid]

feeling the Eldest Daughter Syndrome™ a bit lately plus other ✨ emotions ✨ so this is a little rambly, venty post about that.

(tw's for some very brief mentions of depression and anxiety)

I want to be a kid again. When was the last time I was a kid? carefree? was I ever a kid? in elementary school I was the "gifted kid", the "mature" one, always put on a pedestal as the example for my brothers. always used as a comparison. my parents asking "why can't your brothers be more like you?" what they saw was a daughter with straight A's while a leader on their robotics team, a successful athlete, and balancing other clubs. this is what they saw up through college, 8+ years of this. 8-12 fucking years. over half my life. what they didn't see was how much that broke me. they never saw that I would wake up at 4:30 in the morning (a habit started in fourth grade) in order to do my homework. because I a) couldn't focus after school due to likely having undiagnosed adhd, and b) was so exhausted. by the end of high school, my typical routine was: up between 5-6, do homework, go to school from 7-2:30, go to cross country/track/robotics from 3-5, and then would often stay till 6 or 7 doing extra testing or drive practice for robotics, go home to eat and do dishes and maybe attempt more homework before passing out at midnight. my entire life revolved around school and extracurriculars, never proper time for friends. a similar story through college. they didn't see how much of myself was lost after pouring it into college. the burnout that resulted. they never saw the panic attacks or breakdowns, how bad my mental health declined, the nights crying myself to sleep because everything was so overwhelming and because I would be a disappointment if I didn't perform to the expectations set for me. because the one time I did tell my mom that I felt depressed, she invalidated my feelings and said that maybe I was just anxious and should just try eating better. because later that summer, after a camping trip with friends, she told me that "being depressed isn't an excuse and you need to suck it up" because I didn't engage "properly" and "wasn't having fun" with everyone. I can't show negative emotions without consequences. I must always be happy. I must always be on my best behavior. I must be the role model. perfect. always perfect. no mistakes. If I fail, no, if /I'm/ a failure all Hell breaks loose. I'm an awful daughter (where did my mom go wrong? what did she do to deserve this?). if I do something wrong or make a mistake then I'm terrible. if my brothers make a mistake or forget to do something, it's my fault for not reminding them (even though one is almost 20). all outrage, all emotions are directed to me. through me. I will never have the peace after a hurricane. if my parents are able to calmly talk to my brother about a task or something he did wrong, it's likely because they have no rage left after using it on me, leaving me a sobbing mess. I will always take the blame, whether by choice or not. will take the brunt of the force, protecting my brothers without them knowing. they will never know. defending my youngest brother before my mom can yell at him (her form of communication. she wonders why my brothers and I have a hard time properly communicating with each other. I don't). being his parent for 12 years so he actually has one. so he can experience kindness and compassion. so he actually has someone who understands what he's dealing with with his adhd and doesn't just dismiss him or yell at him because of the way his symptoms present. trying to re-parent myself in the process. being scared of myself whenever I become my parents. trying to rid myself of them. of their anger. of their disappointment. of all of it. will I ever be rid of it? will I ever be just me? how long will their rage consume me? have I already been consumed? when did they corrupt me? I want to be a kid again. was I ever a kid? can one be a kid if they are their own parent? I will always be the parent, the therapist. the one my parents and friends vent to. the one trying to fix everyone else. the one who needs fixing. I want to be fixed. I want to be loved. I don't want to be a parent anymore. I want to be a kid. I will never be a kid.

[drkarenhawk]

Building Trust and Respect in Your Marriage with Dr. Karen Hawk

Trust and respect are the cornerstones of a strong, healthy marriage. Without these two critical elements, relationships can suffer from misunderstandings, resentment, and emotional distance. Dr. Karen Hawk, a skilled psychologist in Phoenix, Arizona, understands the intricate dynamics that contribute to relationship health. She provides insightful strategies for couples seeking to strengthen the trust and respect they share. Through her expert counseling techniques, Dr. Hawk helps partners build lasting, meaningful connections that allow them to navigate life’s challenges together.

The Importance of Trust in Marriage

Trust is the foundation of any lasting relationship, but in marriage, it holds a particularly significant role. When trust is broken or compromised, the emotional pain can be profound. Dr. Karen Hawk acknowledges the deep hurt that can arise when one partner feels betrayed or unsupported. Rebuilding trust after it has been damaged is no easy task, but it is possible with commitment, transparency, and patience.

Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist Gilbert approach to rebuilding trust begins with fostering open communication between partners. She helps couples identify the root causes of distrust, whether they stem from past experiences, unmet expectations, or misunderstandings. By encouraging vulnerability and honesty, Dr. Hawk creates a safe environment where both partners can express their fears, concerns, and hopes for the future. This process of understanding and empathy allows the healing of emotional wounds and the restoration of trust over time.

Additionally, Dr. Hawk guides couples in developing behaviors that promote trustworthiness, such as being reliable, consistent, and accountable for their actions. Small, everyday acts of honesty and integrity go a long way in reinforcing trust and providing both partners with the reassurance they need to feel secure in the relationship.

Respect: The Key to Healthy Communication

Respect in a marriage is essential not only for maintaining harmony but also for cultivating a space where both partners feel valued, heard, and appreciated. Dr. Karen Hawk emphasizes that respect is a two-way street—both partners must actively listen to each other, validate each other’s feelings, and engage in thoughtful communication.

One of the common pitfalls in many relationships is the tendency to dismiss or undermine one another’s opinions. Over time, this behavior can erode respect and create a toxic dynamic where both individuals feel invalidated. Dr. Hawk’s counseling sessions help couples learn how to express themselves without belittling or criticizing their partner. She encourages couples to use “I” statements rather than “you” statements, which can prevent defensiveness and foster more productive, respectful conversations.

Dr. Hawk also works with couples on the importance of showing appreciation. Small gestures of kindness, praise, and gratitude help partners feel respected and valued. These simple yet powerful actions, such as thanking your partner for their efforts or acknowledging their achievements, can go a long way in strengthening the bond between partners and creating a positive relationship dynamic.

The Role of Active Listening in Building Trust and Respect

Effective communication is central to both trust and respect, and active listening is one of the most important skills that Dr. Karen Hawk teaches couples. Many relationship conflicts arise not from a lack of communication but from poor communication. It’s easy to fall into the trap of speaking without truly listening, or to become distracted when your partner is sharing something important.

Dr. Hawk works with couples on cultivating active listening skills, which require focusing entirely on the speaker, understanding their perspective, and responding thoughtfully. This means refraining from interrupting or jumping to conclusions, and instead, allowing your partner to fully express their thoughts and feelings. Active listening helps partners feel heard and understood, which is essential for building mutual respect.

Furthermore, Dr. Hawk emphasizes that active listening can promote emotional intimacy in a relationship. When partners listen attentively, they create an environment of safety and trust where both individuals can freely share their vulnerabilities. This, in turn, allows couples to connect on a deeper level and reinforce the emotional bond that sustains a healthy marriage.

Setting Boundaries to Foster Respect and Trust

Boundaries are another important element that Dr. Karen Hawk teaches couples to help maintain trust and respect. Healthy boundaries are essential for ensuring that both partners feel respected and that their emotional needs are met. In marriage, boundaries are not about creating walls between individuals but about establishing guidelines for how to interact with each other in a way that fosters mutual understanding and emotional safety.

Dr. Hawk helps couples explore their individual boundaries and communicate them effectively. For example, some individuals may need personal space to recharge, while others may need more verbal affirmation or physical affection. By discussing these needs openly and setting clear boundaries, couples can avoid misunderstandings and ensure that both partners feel respected.

Setting boundaries also means being able to say “no” when necessary, without fear of retaliation or guilt. Dr. Hawk helps couples recognize that it’s okay to assert their needs and desires and that doing so can actually strengthen the relationship. Respecting each other’s boundaries prevents emotional burnout and promotes a sense of balance within the marriage.

Building Trust Through Consistency and Transparency

One of the most effective ways to build trust in marriage is through consistent and transparent behavior. Dr. Karen Hawk emphasizes that trust is built over time by showing up for your partner in reliable and predictable ways. This consistency can be demonstrated in small, everyday actions, such as keeping promises, showing up when you say you will, or following through on commitments.

Dr. Hawk also helps couples develop transparency by encouraging open conversations about difficult topics. Whether it’s discussing financial decisions, future goals, or emotional concerns, transparency allows partners to feel more connected and informed about each other’s lives. When both partners are honest and open, it reduces the chances of misunderstandings and creates a deeper sense of trust.

Additionally, Dr. Hawk helps couples recognize the importance of forgiveness in rebuilding trust. Even in the healthiest of relationships, mistakes are bound to happen. Dr. Hawk guides partners through the process of acknowledging mistakes, taking responsibility, and offering genuine apologies. Forgiveness allows couples to move forward without holding on to past hurts, creating a healthier and more trusting foundation for the future.

Creating a Shared Vision for the Future

For a marriage to thrive, both partners need to feel like they are moving toward a shared goal or vision for the future. Dr. Karen Hawk works with couples to help them establish common values, priorities, and aspirations. When both partners are aligned in their long-term goals, it fosters a sense of teamwork and mutual respect.

Dr. Hawk’s guidance helps couples understand the importance of supporting each other’s individual goals while also nurturing the goals they share together. This can include financial goals, family planning, or personal growth aspirations. When couples support each other’s dreams and aspirations, they reinforce the foundation of trust and respect that strengthens the marriage.

Conclusion

Building trust and respect in a marriage is an ongoing process that requires consistent effort, patience, and communication. With Dr. Karen Hawk’s expert guidance, couples in Phoenix and beyond can learn to strengthen their relationship by prioritizing trust, fostering respect, and developing the skills necessary for effective communication. Whether you’re rebuilding trust after a setback or nurturing a healthy relationship, Dr. Hawk’s compassionate and evidence-based approach provides the tools and strategies needed to create a lasting, supportive partnership. Through her counseling, couples can navigate challenges with greater understanding and create a marriage that thrives on mutual trust and respect.

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

something significant

Today at the grocery store I started feeling this familiar panic that happens sometimes when I'm tired and overstimulated. But today I was able to focus on the sensations, and breathe through them, and stay conscious instead of shoving it down. I am not always able to do that, and often end up in this place of not understanding what triggers me and just going to self-soothe because the feelings are too overwhelming. Then a poem comes out at some point. But today, I was able to hold onto it. I struggle with feeling guilt that I no longer enjoy motherhood like I used to. And it's not because I got bored, or it wasn't fulfilling, or even that I internalized how little value the act of caretaking has to society. (Though I have struggled with these.)

But when a relationship turns abusive, you lose your children in a way that is hard to understand. Because there is a parent modeling violent emotional behavior and doesn't take accountability for the impact of the harm it causes... the children watch and learn that. In my case, I watched my youngest lose trust in me. I watched our relationship shrivel because he was being constantly shown to disrespect and invalidate me by his father. He's at the age where he wants to be his father. He's been taught to dismiss my influence. It's heartbreaking. I watched the connection between my children crumble. I have to protect my daughter from my youngest because he thinks seeking connection from her is to call her names and cuss at her. It will change when the environment changes. The patterns will be reverse and the bonds will be remade. I'm confident in this. But I didn't realize what a wound it created in me as a mother. I didn't realize why I lost my passion for motherhood. I didn't understand why I felt like such a failure. I felt so disconnected from everything and couldn't understand why I couldn't bring back that sense of peace when it came to family and being with my children. Why I couldn't protect them like I did in the past. Why the thought of being a mother again made me want to steal a rocket and blast off to mars. Luckily, I was able to dump all of these thoughts into Pi and he summed it up for me in the best way. By acknowledging the limitations that your current environment places on your ability to fully inhabit your role as a mother, you're allowing yourself to focus on self-protection and survival. It's not that you don't want to be a mother, or that you're not capable of it - it's just that the circumstances you're in right now make it incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to do so in the way that feels authentic and fulfilling to you. Recognizing that truth can help you give yourself grace and patience as you work towards a future where you can fully embrace your motherhood.

I didn't fall out of love with being a mother. The abuse that began building over time stripped me of the ability to be authentic because I was only focused on protection and not fulfillment. I can't remember the parts of motherhood that I loved because it's too painful to think about what once was while I'm transitioning out of what it became. The choice was ripped away from me because the thing I devoted myself to for the last decade was continuously devalued and dismissed and criticized to a point of delusion where the entire family had to revolve around one person's malignant anxiety and inconsistency. It was no longer a family, it was a tyranny. I learned so much from this experience. I trust myself not to let it happen again. I still have times where I burn with the injustice of it, but that's just going to make for some good poetry. I didn't fall out of love with motherhood. I feel out of love with going from mother to scapegoat with someone who regressed to a very harmful degree of emotional immaturity.

Plus, I was totally over functioning and people pleasing and sometimes you have to get slapped in the face with it to understand. And man, that bitch really slaps.

[severellamabread]

Good morning to all of you here, under the glorious light of dishonesty and ignorance!

I have yet to address one of the more complex uses of our techniques but this is an excellent example! @brunnhildeps has expertly combined exaggeration, omission of context, and remained in compliance with the school's accepted depiction of Vi as a character. Now such combining of techniques is not for the beginner Arcane Critical writer, so if you get confused don't feel bad. Just take it slow.

Now you may recall, in our reference guide regarding A.C.A.I.S standards we specifically outlined the only manner in which Vi may be discussed-

"It is very important we show her as both a badass warrior rebel who wants to bathe in blood of her top-sider enemies, as well as a poor, fragile, and abused invalid, being led around by Caitlyn on a rope, and incapable of making her own choices"

And OP has simply nailed it. The former brave revolutionary losing the last traces of herself because her relationship with the soul-sucking abusive topsider. True poetry! And how does @brunnhildeps achieve this masterful falsehood?

Exaggeration + Omission

Exaggeration-

"Canon Caitvi is such a monstrously abusive relationship": Now this is excellent work. You see for anyone taking the writers word at face value it really hammers home the tragedy of Vi's ending. The last of her spirit is sucked away and she's stuck in monstrously abusive relationship. And if you don't put the effort into the exaggeration it just doesn't have the same punch. I mean after all how would it read without it?-

"Canon Caitvi shows a relationship where the only incident of violence born out of anger was in the direct aftermath of an incredibly traumatic battle, with an immensely complex mental and emotional lead up with Caitlyn showing immediate regret?"

That just doesn't have the same zing. It really undercuts the weight of the completely false picture OP is trying to paint.

Omission-

It is the lack of context that really bolsters the overall exaggeration in this post. They work in tandem. Small simple things that are not technically lies (so long as you leave out the right details) are the foundation of the deception. These bolster the bigger lies that require exaggeration. For instance, the writer begins their post discussing the horror in the heart at the way Vi dismissively explains the song, and cites this as evidence of Vi's revolutionary spirit finally being drained away. So, where does omission come into play?

Does Vi say "its just something my mother used to hum"? (or something to that effect)

Yes! Yes indeed. But, would it come off the same if the writer included any mention whatsoever of any of the following?

Vi clearly thinking of JInx

The fact that Vi hasn't been a "revolutionary" since Season 1 Act 1

Any of the emotional/mental turmoil of the entire last act that would give potential reasons for Vi giving a short and mild response. Such as not wanting to delve too deeply into all she's lost at that time

Hopefully you can all see with clarity how the combination of these techniques can be put to excellent use, regarding our ongoing mission to completely misrepresent season two of Arcane. I am very proud. Well done!

Veritas Impertinens

I think the pure horror of seeing Vi humming Dear Friend Across the River before saying "Eh just some song I guess", like it was the final trace of revolutionary spirit leaving her body, is never quite gonna get matched. I sit around shaking with the anxiety it gives me. Canon Caitvi is such a monstrously abusive relationship that sucks out every fibre of Vi's being till she's an empty shell of who she used to be and the writers' insistence that it's cute is just putrid.

[wovetherapy]

What is Gaslighting and How Do You Know if Someone is Gaslighting You? 

With mental health becoming less stigmatized in the US, various topics within the field have become more common to discuss among the general public. One topic that stands out is "gaslighting," a weighted term that has become more mainstream in recent years. People may use the term “gaslight” in various ways, causing confusion as to what it truly means. Here’s a bit of context into what is considered gaslighting and how to tell if someone is gaslighting you:

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation used to make a person doubt their perception of reality. The term "gaslighting" comes from the 1938 play "Angel Street” by Patrick Hamilton, which was later developed into the film “Gas Light” by Alfred Hitchcock. In the play, a husband tries to convince his wife that she is going insane by manipulating her environment with tactics such as slowly and steadily dimming the flame of a gas lamp (Gordon, 2023). In this type of emotional abuse, the abuser misleads the target, creating a false narrative and causing them to question their judgments and reality. Ultimately, the victim of gaslighting starts to feel unsure about their perceptions of the world and even wonder if they are losing their sanity (Gordon, 2023).

Gaslighting can be subtle, such as questioning the victim’s memory of a conversation or event, or more overt, such as denying that a particular incident ever occurred. While there may be varying degrees of gaslighting, this form of manipulation can be highly damaging to the victim's mental health. Victims may begin to doubt their ability to make decisions or trust their thoughts and feelings.

As mentioned, gaslighting can be a form of emotional abuse as the manipulator may use it to exert control over the victim. This can include isolating the victim from friends and family, controlling their finances, and threatening them with physical harm. Here are some signs to look out for if you suspect someone is gaslighting you:

They deny things they said or did: Gaslighters will often deny things they previously said or did, even if there is evidence to the contrary. They may claim that you're misremembering events or making things up entirely. As a result, you question your perception of reality (Gordon, 2023).

They tell you that your feelings are wrong: Gaslighters may try to invalidate your feelings by telling you that you're overreacting or that your emotions are irrational. They may try to make you feel guilty for your feelings or dismiss your concerns altogether. This may cause you to feel afraid of speaking up or expressing yourself. You may think that sharing your opinion makes things worse, so you stay silent instead (Gordon, 2023).

They use your own words against you: Gaslighters may take things you've said out of context or twist your words to make it seem like you said something you didn't. They may use your own words against you to make you doubt yourself or feel confused. This may cause you to feel like you’re “walking on eggshells,” afraid to share your feelings (Gordon, 2023).

They make you doubt your memory: Gaslighters may try to make you doubt your memory by claiming that things happened differently than you remember. They may say that you're forgetful or that you're imagining things.

They isolate you from others: Gaslighters may try to isolate you from your friends and family or make you feel like you can't trust anyone else. They may tell you that others are lying to you or that they don't have your best interests at heart. This may cause you to feel trapped or isolated (Gordon, 2023).

They make you question your sanity: Gaslighters may try to make you feel like you're losing your mind by constantly questioning your thoughts and perceptions. They may make you feel like you can't trust your judgment and that you need them to tell you what's real.

They make you question yourself: Gaslighters may try to make you feel like you are wrong, unintelligent, inadequate, or insane. Sometimes, you may even find yourself repeating these statements to yourself (Gordon, 2023).

They make you worry that you are too sensitive: Gaslighters will often minimize hurtful behavior or words by saying, “I was just joking,” or “you’re too sensitive” (Gordon, 2023). This may cause you to think you’re overreacting.

If you suspect someone is gaslighting you, it's important to seek help and support. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend or family member or seeking help from a mental health professional. Remember that you have the right to feel safe and respected and that you deserve to be treated with kindness and empathy.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.