#to me the problem with the newer games is being too westernized

[inmydrcams]

People saying remake is better than reunion cause remake is more westernized truly have some nerve.....

[derekfoxwit]

Doctor Dorpden’s Critical Tips of Prestige

Note: This post was made with satirical intentions in mind. I’m only emphasizing because I’ve had a couple of comments on previous joke posts I’ve did take it seriously. With that said, here we go.

Tip 1: For starters, remember that when looking at the work, if the Mystic Knee twitches fast enough to punch a hole in a wall, this suggests that the work should be near the lowest of the low. No further development of opinion is needed.

Tip 2: For an equal degree of sophistication, give the warm comfort of nostalgia at least 5 times more chances than the new thing that MAY seem actually poggers.

Tip 3: If you have the anecdote of encountering shitty fans, then use them as a scapegoat for the show they flaunt over being shitty. Clearly, they’re always making the show the way it is.

Tip 4: If you haven’t heard much about a newer film or show you’re yet to watch, there’s an 85% chance that film or show is actually not worth your time. The Father (2020) isn’t as widespread as Joker (2019) for a reason.

Tip 5: At this point, just go for the Asian Artist Dick. I’m actually in the mood to see merit in that because I want to look edgy against cute doodles. Stop attacking Uzaki-Chan, you cowards!

Tip 6: Avoid the electronic tunes. They’ll make you smell like a bum, for there’s no structural in a music album that’s nothing but wubs.

Tip 7: If you see a Tweet that looks dumb, use it as a means of generalizing all the fans of a work as sharing that same opinion.

Tip 8: If the cartoon I’m given doesn’t provide me with mature ideas such as slicing an Arbok in half or fake boobs, then the cartoon might as well be on the same level as Teletubbies.

Tip 9: You know the music is (c)rap when it brings up drugs, regardless of lyrical context.

Tip 10:  Raw mood is the indicator of quality cartooning. If you’re quick to assume the worst in the newest HBO Max original cartoon, then you got thyself a stinker. Same thing if you were super bummed out when watching a new thing, regardless of anecdotal context.

Tip 11:  When you’re not given continuous throwbacks, ensure you’re as reductive and over-generalizing about the works shown as possible.

Tip 12:  If your hazy and imperfect as hell recollection of a children’s film, whether it’s Wall-E or Lilo & Stitch, would describe said film as “too sugary” or “key-waving schlock”, then that HAS to be the case. No meat on that bone whatsoever.

Tip 13: Simpler, more graphic style that isn’t as realistic as old-school Disney or Anime? You got yourself a lazy style with zero passion put into it.

UPA? Who’s THAT?!

Tip 14: Don’t trust anyone saying that western children’s cartoons had any form of artistic development after 2008 (with, like, TWO exceptions). If it did, why didn’t we go from stealing organs in a 2001 cartoon to showing opened stomachs in a 2021 cartoon?

Tip 15: Big booba is always important to the strong female character’s quality.

Tip 16:  Only MY ships count, for they provide me with a feeling of intelligence.

Tip 17: “PG-13″ and “R” rating just simply mean you’re not caring for expressing themes in a sophisticated manner. It’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 18:  In this age of smelly radicals, “Death of the Author” is more important than ever. Without it, this’ll imply that a classic like The Matrix was secretly toxic, due to what the Wachowskis have to say about it being an “allegory of trans people.”

Tip 19: Turn the fandoms you hate into your torture porn. Ask in Tweets to Retweet one sentence that’d “trigger” them. Go out of your way to paint all of them as blind consoomers. That’ll show them, and it’ll show how much more intelligent you are compared to those clowns.

Tip 20: Whatever the Mystic Knee dictates upon the first viewing of a work is what shall indicate the full structural extent of the film.

Tip 21: The mindset of a 2000s edgelord is one that actually understands the artistry of the medium of animation. Listen to that crazy but ingenious man.

Tip 22: Because sheer ambition makes me feel manly, the high pedestal you bestow upon a cartoon work should be based mostly on the mere mention or mere suggestion of serious topics. This means that pure comedy is smelly.

Tip 23: Is the new work tackling subjects that you’ve loved a childhood work of yours for covering? Just assume it’s super bare-bones in that case compared to the older case, for there’s nothing the older work can do to truly prove itself otherwise. Seriously, Letterboxd. Stop giving any 2010s cartoon anything above a 4/5

Tip 24: If the Mystic Knee is suggesting that the work is crummy, then consider any explanation off the top of your head for why the work in question is crummy.

Tip 25: Sexual and gender identity is inherently political, so don’t focus on them in the story. It’s no wonder why Full Metal Alchemist has caught on more than the She-Ra reboot.

Tip 26: Since I got bothered by a random butt monkey type character in a crummy cartoon, I’m now obligated to assume that having a butt monkey will only harm the writing integrity of the cartoon.

Seriously, Mr. Enter....what?!

Tip 27: We’re at a point where pure comedy for a kids’ cartoon is doing nothing but dumbing down the children. Like seriously...... I doubt Billy and Mandy would ever use farts as a punchline, unlike these newer kids comedies.

Tip 28: The difference between the innuendo in kids’ cartoons I grew up on and the ones Zootopia made is the sense of prestige they give me. Just take notes from the former instead.

Tip 29: Wanna make a work of artistic merit? Just take notes from the stuff I whore out to. It’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 30: Always remember this golden rule: If the newer work, or a work you’ve recently experienced the first time, was truly great, why isn’t it providing the exact emotions from your younger, more impressionable years?

Tip 31: If the Mystic Knee aims to break the bones of a character doing certain things (.i.e. having body count of thousands; lashing out to character; etc.), that means the character is bad and deserves no redemption.

Tip 32: If you want me to believe there’s any intrigue or depth in your antagonist, give them redemption, for I am in need of that sorta thing being spelled out. Looking at you, Syndrome. Should’ve taken notes from Tai Lung.

Tip 33: In a case where you’re going “X > Y” (.i.e. manga compared to western comics), ALWAYS CHERRY PICK! Use the recent controversies of the “Y” item while pretending that the “X” item has never had anything of the sort.

Tip 34: BEFORE you bring up those comments that shat on the original Teen Titans cartoon back when it was new, whether for making Starfire “more PC” or whatever.......the DIFFERENCE between them and me is that THEY were just bad faith fools that couldn’t see true majesty out of blind rage. I, however, am truly certain that calling any western TV cartoon from 2014-onward a work that transcends its generation suggests a destruction of the medium.

Tip 35: Based on fandom growth, it shows that any newer show isn’t being watched much by kids, but rather loser adults that act like children. Therefore, there’s more prestige in what I grew with.

Tip 36: The focus on children is bad at this point since the children of today have attention spans that flies would have.

Tip 37: A select few screenshots (or even one) of either a less elaborate attacking animation, less realistic game graphics, or a less on-model image in a cartoon indicates EVERYTHING about the work’s quality.

Tip 38: Consuming or writing media where characters go through constant suffering is little more than gaining pleasure out of it. YOU SICKOS!

Looking at you, Lily Orchard!

Tip 39: Whether it’s a sexual awakening story or just simply a romance, focus on a character being lesbian, trans, bi, etc., then it shouldn’t be in a kids’ work. It’s too spicy for them by default. Kids don’t want romance anyway.

Tip 40: The very idea of a western cartoon with no full-blown antagonist (i.e. Inside Out) is a destruction of animated artistry. Sorry, but it’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 41: Unless it’s my fluffy pillow, such as Disney’s Robin Hood, it should be obligated to assume the inserting of anthros is only there to pleasure the furries. Looking at YOU, Zootopia!

Tip 42: With how rough and rash The Beast was, it shows that he was more of an abusive lover. Therefore, I refuse to believe that Beauty and the Beast has any of the meticulous moral writing that most of Disney’s other 90s films has.

Tip 43: When you suggest one work should’ve “taken notes” from another work in order to do better, BE VAGUE! Those who agree will be shown to be geniuses.

Tip 44: Remember how morally grey Invader Zim was? That really goes to show how little the Western Animation scene has been trying since that show. Really should just be taking notes from that series (and of course anime).

Tip 45: Even if I have a radar that clearly indicates such, hiding the item I look for inside an enemy is always bad, for I refuse to believe it would be inside the enemy.

Goddamn it, Arin!

Tip 46: People struggle understanding your gender identity or pronouns? All there is to see in that is a giant cloud of egotism that reads “My problems” zapping another smaller cloud that reads “other people’s problems”. Seriously, kids are starving, so WHAT if you identity confused someone. Grow a spine!

Tip 47: Stop pretending that adaptations should colorize how a story or comic series should be defined. No way in FUCK can a cartoon or film incarnation become the definitive portrayal of my precious superhero idol.

Tip 48: Enough with your precious “limited animation” techniques, YOU WESTERN HACKS! All you’re doing is admitting to sheer laziness and lacking artistic integrity. Now if you excuse me, I’ll be watching more anime, since that gives me a sense of prestige.

Tip 49: If getting five times more detail than the 2D animated visuals have requires someone getting hurt, so be it. No pain, no gain after all.

Tip 50: Yes, I genuinely struggle to believe there’s this majestic level of layered material without having the most immediate yet still vague re-assurance practically yelling in my face. But that’s STILL the work’s fault, not mine.

Tip 51: Every Klasky-Csupo cartoon has more artistic integrity than any of them cartoons with gay lovers such as Kipo or the Netflix She-Ra show.

Tip 52:  If Sergio Pablos’ Klaus is anything to go by, we have no excuse to utilize those smelly as fuck digital animation “styles” found on Stinky Universe, Suck-Ra or Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turds.

Tip 53: Stop projecting your orientation onto works of actual talent. Seriously, how does Elton John’s I’m Still Standing expel ANY rainbow flag energy?

Tip 54: Hip hop and electronica have been the destruction of music, especially the kind that’s actually organic and not farting on the buttons of a beeping or drumming gadget.

Tip 55: The audience for cartoons has become significantly less clear over the years. We should just go back to Saturday mornings of being sold toys or shit kids actually want.

Tip 56: PSAs for kids shouldn’t be about ‘woke’ content. They should be actual problems such as doing drugs; not playing with knifes / outlets / matches; or acceptance.

Tip 57: The instant you realize a detail in a childhood work that’s better understood as an adult, you’re forced to paint that work as the most transcendent thing in the world. It’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 58: Before you lash out on ALL rich people, remember this: #Not All Rich People.

Tip 59: There’s nothing to gain out of the (c)rap scene other than becoming a spiteful, gun-wielding thug that sniffs weed for breakfast.

Tip 60: Since the Mystic Knee told me to get anal about prom episodes in several gay cartoons, this shows that writing about one’s younger experiences just makes you look pathetic.

Tip 61: Another smelly thing about Zootopia is how it was painting a police chief as stern and exclusive. #Not All Chiefs

Tip 62: Me catching a glimpse of Grave of the Fireflies as a kid and turning out fine shows that you may as well show kids more adult works without worry. No amount of psychological questions being asked will suggest otherwise.

Tip 63: There’s a reason why the Mystic Knee keeps leaning more toward the 90s and early 2000s than most decades. That knee KNOWS where there’s a sense of true refinement.

Tip 64: The BIG difference between rock and electronica? Steward Copeland actually DRUMS. All that the likes of Burial, Boards of Canada, Depeche Mode and several others did was push drum buttons.

Tip 65: One exception to the golden nostalgia is when the work in question doesn’t stuff your face with fantastical, bombastic stories. At which point, there can only be rose-colored blinds covering Nickelodeon’s Doug. Nothing of merit or personal resonance to be found.

Tip 66: Remember that the sense of nuance in the work comes down to there being everything including the kitchen sink, whether it involves multiple geographic landscapes; giving us hundreds of characters; etc. Only through the extremes will I be able to tell there is nuance.

Tip 67: Once you see a joke that has an involvement with sexual or violent content, just ignore the full picture and just reduce it to having nothing to it but “sex, violence, gimme claps.”

PKRussel has entered the chat

Tip 68: With all the SJWs messing up the art of comedy, lament the times where you could be called a comic genius, NOT a monster, for shouting out the word “STAB,” calling a gay weird, painting Middle Easterns as inherently violent, etc.

Tip 69: Guitar twang will always win out over (c)rap beats. There’s a reason your grandma is more likely to listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd than Kendrick Lamar.

Tip 70: Once the Mystic Knee notices a lack of squealing at the video game with linearity, that shows there’s more artistry in going full-blown open world.

Tip 71: Related to Tips 66 and 68, ensure your comedy gets as much information and mileage out of each individual skit as possible. EMPHASIZE if you need to. Continuously spout out your quirky phrase of “STAB” if needed.

Tip 72: Based on the onslaught of TV shows with many seasons and episodes, animated or otherwise, it shows that there’s more worth going for that than simply having a miniseries or a 26-episode anime.

Tip 73: Building off of the previous tip, you’re better off squeezing and exhausting every little detail and notable characterization rather than keeping anything simple and possibly leaving a stone unturned, especially if there’s supposed to be a story. 

Tip 74: Playing through the fan translation of Mother 3 made me realize how much some newer kids’ works just try too hard to get serious. Why even make the kids potentially think about the death of a family member?

Tip 75: The fear I had over Sid’s toys from the first Toy Story and similar anecdotal emotions are the be-all indicators of what kind of show or film is fitting for the children.

Tip 76:  Seeing this British rapper chick have a song titled “Point and Kill” just further exemplifies the fears I’ve had about rappers being some of the most harmful folks ever.

Tip 77: The problem with attempting to make a more “relatable” She-Ra is that kids aren’t looking for relatability. They want the escapism of buff fighters or something similar. This is why slice-of-life is so smelly.

Tip 78: Based on seeing the rating of “PG-13″ or “R,” I can tell that the dark humor is little more than “hur dur sex and guns.” Given the “TV-Y7 FV” rating of Invader Zim, the writers should’ve taken notes from that instead just so I can sense actual prestige.

Tip 79: The original He-Man has more visual intrigue in its animation than any of those smelly glorified doodles found in the “styles" of the 2010s and early 2020s.

Tip 80: It’s always the fault of the game that my first guess (that I refuse to divert from) on how I have to go through an obstacle won’t work.

Tip 81: Zootopia discussing prejudice ruins the majestic escapism I got from my precious childhood films from 1991-2004. Them kids might as well be watching the news. Now to watch some Hunchback after I finish these tips.

Tip 82: There is no such thing as an unreasonable expectation, and there’s especially no wrong way to address the lack of met expectations! For example, if you expect some early 2010s cartoon on the Disney Channel to be a Kids X-Files, yet you get moments such as some girl getting high on stick dipping candy, you got the right to paint the worst out of that show for not being “Kids’ X-Files.”

Tip 83: Related to my example for Tip 82, if you get the slightest impression of something being childish, you know you got yourself a children’s work that does little than wave keys and has basically nothing substantial for them. In this situation, those malfunctioning robots found in Wall-E are the guilty party.

Tip 84: Without the extensive dialogue that I’m used to getting, how can one say for certain there was any amount of characterization in the title character of Wall-E?

Tip 85: Ever noticed yourself gradually being less likely to expect an upcoming work or view a work you’re just consuming as “the next best thing”? That’s ALWAYS the fault of smelly “artists” (hacks really) and their refusal to give a shit.

Tip 86:  It’s obligatory for your lead to be explicitly heroic just so there is this immediate re-assurance that they’re a good one.

Tip 87: Without the comforting safety net of throwbacks, one cannot be for certain that there has been an actual evolution of a series or the art of animation and video games.

Tip 88: Don’t PSA kids on stuff they give zero fucks about. That means no gender identities or pronouns, race, etc.

Tip 89: Don’t listen to Mamoru Hosoda saying that anime women tend to be “depicted through a lens” of sexual desire. He’s just distracting from the superior prestige found in anime women.

Tip 90:  If you’re desperate to let others know that your talking points are reasonable, just repeat them over and over with little expansion on said talking points.

Tip 91: 7 or more seasons of art is better than 26 episodes of art.  EVERY TIME!

Tip 92: Always remember to continuously talk up the innuendo and mature subject matter of the childhood work as the most prestigious, transcendent thing of all time. With that in mind, there’s a high chance that your favorite childhood work will be better known than Perfect Blue (1997), and there’s likely a reason for that.

Tip 93: An art style that gives many characters relatively more realistic arm muscle details will always shine through more than any sort of art style done for “simplicity” (laziness, really).

Tip 94:  Seeing a few (like, even VERY FEW) people show more enthusiasm for Steven Universe over Invader Zim really shows the lower bar that has been expected out of the western animation scene compared to anime.

Tip 95: Electronic music makes less conventional time signatures cheap as hell. REAL music like rock makes them the exact opposite.

Tip 96: If your Mystic Knee suggests that the 90s cartoon being viewed doesn’t showcase a vague sense of refinement or artistic integrity, then every related assumption of yours is right. EVERY TIME!

Tip 97: Doing everything and the kitchen sink for one series or movie shows a better sense of refinement and prestige than any form of simplicity. THIS includes character design as well.

Tip 98: The advent of that Star Wars: Visions anime really shows just how stinky western cartoons have become.

Tip 99:  For those wondering, no, Europe isn’t being counted in my definition of “western animation”. Doing so is a complete disservice to prestige.

Tip 100: If even less than half of these tips aren’t being considered, you can kiss that prestige badge goodbye. After all, I SAID SO!

[hapuriainen]

Hapuriainen's Animation & Comics & Games of 2020

It is again time for the annual compilation!

Manga:

Attack on Titan

I'm so sad this is so close to end... It's been my main thing for a few years now. Eren definitely didn't take the route I expected but I still find this consistent with his character and a bold and interesting move from the author.

(My notes say I also finished the jr high spin-off manga but it's not worth talking about)

Awards given: Best Side Girl (I still like Gabi, haters gonna hate), Best Boy (ditto Eren)

One Piece, My Hero Academia My interest in OP is still at an all-time low and I'm just waiting for the arc to end. There are so many characters and I have little idea what their deal is, Carrot hasn't been interesting in ages and currently Yamato is the only character I care for. Same for HeroAca; at least the excruciatingly long action scene is finally over.

Undead Unluck New Jump series! I think the main duo have a really good dynamic, but they're pretty much the only thing I care about and I'm very lost with what the plot is actually supposed to be about.

Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro

I like detective stories so here's one from the Assassination Classroom creator! The detective stuff itself could get rather nonsensical and as the story progressed more and more fantasy elements were added, but the titular character was entertaining enough to keep me interested. The viewpoint character was refreshingly (for a Jump series) a girl and her dynamic with Neuro (an ordinary schoolgirl and an arrogant amoral troll demon) was great.

Awards given: Best non-romantic relationship (Neuro & Yako)

Spy x Family

Super fun and the characters are cute!  The main couple has such great chemistry and in general I enjoy following characters who are really competent at their job. Not surprised that this has become hugely popular.

Awards given: Best romance (it is rare to get me to ship anything but the main couple here is just so cute)

Delicious in Dungeon

This manga has amazing character design and the author clearly loves to play around with it, like by drawing each character as each other's races, or making clones of everyone but each clone is a little different so you can guess which is the real one with the characters, and there's so much thought put to the outfits too. And then there's of course all the worldbuilding around how an RPG dungeon and the creatures in it could work, but it's presented simply enough that the story is still easy to follow. I also like the upbeat atmosphere; maybe I could get a bit more emotionally involved if there was more drama, but I still really like this as it is.

Awards given: Best character designs

Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou

Reread one of my favourite manga ever and it's still just as good. I love how the manga still has a positive vibe to it, under it there is the quiet melancholy of a world that is close to ending. And it's wonderful how uninterested the story is answering any of the worldbuilding questions it sets up.

Beastars

This was incredibly interesting in how it presented an animal society where the carnivore-herbivore differences couldn't be just explained away with "the differences don't really exist", and the story looks at this from so many different angles. Pairs really well with Zootopia for a completely different approach. Louis was a really interesting character with how he publicly managed to appear as if he was a good candidate to be the next ambassador for the peace between the animals but was actually very cold and broken inside, and I really liked his breakdown moment. The ending was pretty meh though.

Awards given: Best Side Boy (Louis)

Kannagi

This one has really cute character designs but apart from that it's a pretty generic harem story. Except for the twist that the main girl already had been involved with a boy which caused otaku to shred their manga or whatever. I believe I would have enjoyed this more if it finished back when it went to hiatus since at this point it didn't do much for me.

Witch Hat Atelier

The main girl is the kind of heroic, friendly, plucky goody-two-shoes protagonist I really don't like but apart from that this is a great manga. I love the art, and the way the magic works is really well set up but also easy to understand. Great outfits too!

Anime:

This year I learned that in order to clear stuff from your anime watch list you need to actually watch anime. So unexpectedly I think I watched a lot more different series than usual.

Attack on Titan

It was my plan to watch seasons 1-3 before jumping on board with the last one, and of course I dragged my feet for the entire year and had to marathon the whole thing in autumn. I still prefer the manga, but the anime does have great colours, soundtrack and voice acting and some of the action scenes were amazing. But I really hate what they did to Historia in season 3... The final season has been excellent so far and I can't wait for the big scene in the next episode.

Awards given: Best OP (all the Linked Horizon ones)

Ouran High School Host Club

Haruhi continues to be one of the best girls in the anime and manga industry ever with her confident and no-nonsense attitude, and Tamaki's oblivious and overflowing friendliness makes for a great counterpart to her. And the opening theme is so darn catchy.

Awards given: Best Girl (Haruhi)

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Finally managed to watch this. I love the iconic character designs and all the chaotic energy. Kamina for best bro. I've never cared for mecha, the girls were nice but the writing around them sucked and the second half wasn't as strong as the first one, but still a good package overall.

Awards given: Best ED (don't care for the song that much but Simon looks somehow really cool in the second ending)

Haibane Renmei

Another one that had been on the watch list for years. A lovely quiet and contemplative show. Visuals were rather dull though but maybe it's better for a show like this that the characters didn't have bubblegum pink hair.

Digimon Adventure 2020

This started promising but has since lost steam. I really like how different the story is from the original Digimon Adventure, and compared to Precure it's super nice how not every episode has the exact same structure, and the cast has different roles and regularly gets split up instead of shoehorning everyone into every conflict. But on the other hand the characters feel way more samey and flat, and the original "kids want to return to their home from the Digital World" plot was a lot more personal than the current one about global crises and prophecy jargon. And some of the action scenes last way too long.

Awards given: Worst side boy (Agumon and his evolutions, it is of course expected that he'd get a lot of screen time but I'm so over how much he's constantly pushed in your face in the franchise)

Shuumatsu Nani Shitemasu ka? Isogashii Desu ka? Sukutte Moratte Ii Desu ka?

This wasn't afwul but still left me kind of cold. I think the character designs were a problem here, in general I'm used to brightly coloured anime characters but this was trying to be a very serious story about child soldiers who know they're going to die young. But when they were colour-coded and always wore the same clothes (and mostly had pretty generic animu girl personalities) they felt so artificial which made it harder to get into the drama. Nice OP song.

Yashahime

Inuyasha was my first show after really getting into anime so I was super hyped for any kind of new content. So far this has unfortunately been rather dull since I'm not particularly interested in either of Sesshoumaru's daughters, and the way the show treats the absence of the old cast is annoying. Just either show them or make it clear we're not supposed to care about them, now it's just annoying how their disappearance is treated as a mystery but the three heroines know barely anything about their heritage and don't even seem interested in learning either. But I'll watch this to the end for Moroha.

Kaitou Tenshi Twin Angels, Twin Angel Break, Pretear, Happy Seven, Healin' Good Precure

Watched a lot of magical girl stuff this year too, these being shows that play the tropes straight. The Twin Angel seasons had different flaws but were otherwise watchable aside from the awful Twin Angel Break heroine. Pretear had surprisingly nice character writing and I feel I would really have liked this if I saw it at an earlier part of my anime hobby experience but now it doesn't feel so special any more. Healin' Good Precure has been rather dull.

I also watched a bunch of Precure movies, out of which only the Star Twinkle Precure one was actually good, and the Spring Carnival crossover movie was also good in an absurd way, while the rest ranged from awful to somewhat decent.

Awards given: Worst girl (Meguru - Twin Angel Break), Biggest WTF (Happy Seven suddenly going from monster of the week shenaningans to alien mass destruction weapons)

Concrete Revolutio, Myriad Colors Phantom World, Re:Creators

Also some anime where the magical girl was a side character. Concrete Revolutio was an unpleasant mess with nice visuals, Myriad Colors was a pretty boring otaku high school harem thing and the magical girl episode was also rather bland, and Re:Creators had a lot of potential with the "anime characters come to our world" setting but the result was somewhat uneven. Re:Creators had the best magical girl out of these three.

Awards given: Worst non-romantic relationship, Worst side girl (Setsuna from Re:creators, with the main boy) not really an awful character on her own, but the writing around her was pretty bad, let's also give Worst Boy for the said main boy

Nausicaa

I watched the first half of the movie over a decade ago and didn't manage to finish until now. After seeing so many other Ghibli movies this didn't do much for me, but the animation and nature were still beautiful.

Western:

Most Popular Girls in School

The newer seasons didn't reach the heights of the earlier ones but there's still something entertaining about a very raunchy Barbie doll stop motion show. Also pairs well with the Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse for a fun but more child friendly Barbie experience.

Frozen 2

I'm wondering if these really are the only Western piece of media I consumed this year? I certainly didn't go to movies after March. Anyway, like the previous film I had major problems with the plot and characters (I don't think Elsa's story was set up properly, Kristoff's sub-plot feels like an afterthought when he doesn't factor to Anna's sub-plot at all, Olaf is annoying, too much Lore) but ultimately I still had a good time. I like the costume design, the idea for Elsa's arc is fine, the songs are great and there were plenty of good scenes too, and the lullaby was beautiful. I'd say that like the original Frozen this was patched together from perfectly serviceable pieces that didn't quite work combined.

Awards given: Worst romance (not the pairing itself but the way Kristoff x Anna was written)

Games:

Animal Crossing Pocket Camp

Early this year I just decided not to open this app for the daily money-grubbing grind and haven't touched it since. I'm free!

Animal Crossing New Horizons

However the daily grind continues here! It's been way more enjoyable, primarily due to lacking the microtransactions/limited time item angle and also for being so much more customisable. And the nature is so pretty... But I've reached a point where even this has started to feel kind of stale.

Super Mario Odyssey

My first Mario game since Super Mario World so of course I'm blown away by everything. I like how colourful and welcoming the worlds were, Cappy was a surprisingly enjoyable sidekick/mascot and also the game was easy enough and had a simple linear plot so it was far easier to approach than Zelda BotW which is still on hold.

Plans for 2021

Actually play Zelda BotW

Maybe finally Evangelion?

Finally finish the mostly disappointing Digimon Adventure tri

Various magical girl sequels and remakes

[the-archlich]

Thoughts on the post-season roster moves from OWL so far. Just ignore it if you don’t give a shit. I never know what I’m talking about anyway.

Not going to talk about any of the coaches being removed because it’s pretty much impossible to know what they’re like if you don’t actually play for the team. It’s easy to look at a team’s performance and judge the coach by it, but I really don’t feel confident in making opinions on that. So I’ll leave all those.

Nus and Guard being dropped from London isn’t a surprise. It always felt like they never wanted Guard in the first place and just picked him up to fill a roster slot. Nus was always being outperformed by others in his role, so it isn’t surprising to see him leave either. I didn’t think Quatermain was substantially better, but trading Nus in for a newer model is probably a sound decision.

Birdring is a player I always felt peaked before OWL and wasn’t able to keep up with players who were actually improving Still, he was a competent player. He’ll probably find his way to one of the teams that likes to pick up everyone else’s leftovers. That used to be Florida but time will tell. Toronto might take that place.

Swon and xepheR should have been retired a year ago. They’ve never been up to this.

DPI and RaiN didn’t really have much opportunity to show what they could do, so this might be a little bitter for them. I hope they get another chance, but they’ll definitely have to earn it.

HaGoPeun’s release surprised me a little. He was one of Florida’s only reliable players during their roughest patches and I thought there was some merit in keeping him. His replacements didn’t outperform him in any significant way. But I don’t think anyone’s going to be surprised by huge changes to Florida. They’ve got to be tired of being everyone’s punching bag now.

Ado just can’t catch a break. First he’s stuck with the Season 1 Dragons. Then he gets traded to a team that spent the first 3 stages of the year struggling to get even 1 win every stage. He only actually played in 1 series that ended in a win. That’s depressing. Especially because he’s always been a very good player. But it wasn’t the right team for him, or the right meta all year. I hope to see him in a home where he can really thrive. He deserves better.

I don’t know Hyeonu. I don’t remember ever seeing him play. So I guess it makes sense to see him go.

Janus, I always thought took an unfair amount of criticism. It seemed like every problem the team had was blamed on him. And some of it was his fault - the aggression he could get away with on NYXL didn’t work on Justice due to the huge difference in quality between those two teams, and he didn’t adjust fast enough. But it felt like he was often being made a scapegoat for much deeper problems. But it looks like Justice is steering towards an English-speaking roster, so his release is logical. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him on another leftovers team.

Sansam floundered throughout 3/4ths of the season, but he crushed it in the last stage when he could play Roadhog instead of D. Va. He was just never able to get her up to the level he needed to. Given that Justice will have ELLIVOTE and LullSiSH next year, they have no real need for Sansam. I hope he can round out his skillset and make a return, but I won’t be shocked if he languishes in T2 for a while.

Gods being released from Toronto makes my heart hurt. It looks like they’re trying to transition back to an all-Korean roster, so the decision makes sense. Despite Toronto’s poor second-half performance Gods always did very well. And you can’t find a more experienced player. I hope he lands on his feet with a team that can give him a proper home.

Fl0w3R being released should surprise no one. I think we can all agree he was only signed in the first place because of his history with the original players on the team. I don’t think he’s a bad player, but he didn’t give them anything they didn’t already have, and the meta was against him all year. Every time you saw him, it felt like a mistake.

Sharyk never got much stage time, so I don’t want to criticize his performance too harshly. I think he was mostly signed in case Gods couldn’t work with Yakpung. Hard to say what will become of him.

Aid’s release as a little surprising to me. He was always one of the better players on Toronto, even during their hard times. Not sure why they’d cut him or who they intend to replace him with, but those shoes don’t fit just anyone. I hope to see him back on some other team in Season 3.

IM37...what a legend. After being a streamer for years, he played, like, 2 amateur games before being immediately moved up to OWL. That’s a fantastic story. But it was kind of a desperation move. Toronto just released Stellar and needed someone to take his place. IM37 was someone they could pick up quickly. He turned out a solid but obviously inexperienced performance during his time on stage. I expected to see a lot of improvement from him, but he got benched in the second half with Toronto’s new roster (with Ivy, Mangachu, and Logix there wasn’t much need for him). I was glad to hear he intends to continue an OWL career. He could bring a lot to the right team. From a purely marketing standpoint he’d do really well one one of those all-Korean teams that needs a frontman western fans can get attached to.

Nevix... I remember in Season 1, one of the casters would always talk about how underrated Nevix was. It became a meme between me and my wife. But since he’s been benched in favor of Choi, it’s true. Nevix is highly underrated. I get why Shock doesn’t need him - they’re probably the only team that could afford to lose a player of his talents. I’m sure he’ll land on his feet. Nevix is very underrated.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Pokemon Generation I & II

Pokemon is one of the biggest media franchises on the planet since 1996, and while it’s never exactly hit the same highs as it did back in the 90s, the franchise has been going strong for over two decades regardless. So, in honor of the latest entries in the franchise, I decided to take a look back at the old generations and look at what worked and what didn’t about them, though obviously in my own style. And what better place to start than the original two generations, Generations I and II?

Let’s start with Generation I, which includes the three games that started it all – Red, Blue, and Yellow, though back in the franchise’s homeland of Japan they had Green instead of Blue (hence why we got FireRed and LeafGreen, but no WaterBlue). These are the games that launched the franchise into the stratosphere of popularity, and for a long time they were held up as the gold standard of Pokemon games, attracting a die-hard base of “fans” known as Genwunners, who would bash anything outside of the first 151 Pokemon. Lately that sort of opinion has declined, though you still get the odd person here and there whining about how newer Pokemon designs look like Digimon, which indicates that the person saying that is unfamiliar with either franchise.

But what of the games themselves? What are they like? I have long expressed distaste for the Gen I games, mostly because of my hatred of Genwunners, but ultimately my opinions on the games are a lot more mixed. I do believe that Yellow is a genuinely good game and probably how the first generation should be experienced if you really want to go back to the old games, but my opinions on Red and Blue are a bit more mixed – but, shockingly, mostly positive.

You see, here’s the thing with Pokemon games – even at their worst, they’re still fun, and Red and Blue prove that. These are impressive games for their time that had the misfortune of aging far worse than a lot of their contemporaries, mostly due to the nature of the games themselves – any sort of franchise based on collecting and battling among groups of friends is going to need a lot of polish between releases, which will inevitably leave older games in the dust, especially when each generation after would add more and more Pokemon with each new generation. But even if they haven’t aged all too well, there’s still plenty of fun to be had here, though a lot of it is not in ways the creators intended.

Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way first – the balance in this game is absolutely atrocious. There are some types that are just objectively better than others, some types are so scarce as to be utterly useless, some moves don’t work like they’re supposed to, some of the computers use moves they shouldn’t know… the game is a hot mess, to put it lightly. At points the games feel frustratingly unplayable, especially when you come up against Sabrina, the gym leader wielding the all-powerful type of Gen I, Psychic.

The more mixed parts of the game are the story and the beloved, exploitable glitches. The story here… well, there isn’t one. There’s sort of an excuse plot in place - you have to beat all the gyms, challenge the Elite Four, and battle your rival (who you can name whatever, but I’ll be referring to him by his canon name, Blue). Other than that, though? There’s not really any sort of overarching plot. You kind of just wander into situation after situation on your way to the next gym. Even the whole Team Rocket plot here is mostly just you beating them up because they prove to slightly inconvenience you at every turn. Unlike in later entries, where the player is roped into saving the world from destruction at the hands of all-powerful PokeGods. Here the plot is basically “Young boy accidentally foils the Mafia while on a walk with their pet.” It’s so hilariously simple it’s hard to totally hate it, and to be perfectly fair a lot of early RPGs had rather simplistic plots, and this was one of the first handheld RPGs, so I cut them a bit of slack here, especially seeing as we at least got Giovanni out of this.

The glitches are infamous and iconic, but even them I’m a bit mixed on. Like, I love Missingno as much as everyone else, but I think tat if you need to break a game this hard to have fun, it kind of ruins things. I feel the same way about the glitches as I do the Crissaegrim in Symphony of the Night sure, they’re cool, flashy, and powerful, but they make the game so pathetically easy from that point onwards it just isn’t that entertaining anymore.

Still, this game does excel in one area: character. There are a lot of great characters in this game, human and Pokemon. A lot of the gym leaders are absolutely iconic, and the Elite Four is mostly interesting, though I will say that they lack a lot of character compared to later Elite Fours (though he Gen III remakes ameliorated this problem). It’s pretty impressive how so much character was able to be crammed into these characters even though they are ostensibly just roadblocks on your way to the next gym.

Then there are the Pokemon. The designs in this generation are pretty simple, occasionally to a fault, but there is a reason for this: a lot of Pokemon are based on yokai or tsukumogami, both of which are pretty essential in Japanese folklore. Tsukumogami in particular are something the franchise seems to absolutely love, with the Voltorb and Magnemite lines being notable examples from this generation. Other Japanese folklore represented in this Generation include kitsune, which the Vulpix line is explicitly based on, kappas, which Golduck is inspired by, baku, which the Drowzee line represents, and so in. In fact, the entire concept of Pokemon is so entrenched in the concepts of yokai and Japanese spirits that it is endlessly amusing to see Westerners nitpicking the designs, ignoring the cultural meaning behind them. Pokemon have a variety of inspirations obviously, but the weirder you think a design is the more likely it is to have been based off of some sort of yokai.

I think the definitive Gen I experience is Yellow, which is inspired by the anime. You start off with Pikachu who follows behind you at all times, you can acquire all of the starters, the game overall feels more polished (but not overly so), and you get to fight Jessie and James. It’s a lot of fun, and it doesn’t heavily alter the story, instead adding a few neat little additions, something that would become common with third versions in the franchise. The Kanto games are a solid start to a franchise, but they definitely could have used a bit more work…

That’s where Generation II comes in.

Generation II honestly feels like what Generation I should have been like, leaving Red and Blue as the unpolished alpha, Yellow as the beta, and Gold and Silver as the full release. In fact, it kind of leaves the  second gen feeling a lot more like an expansion pack than anything else, but not in an obnoxious or bad way like a certain other game (COUGHOverwatch 2COUGH). These games are so much better in just about every conceivable way, it’s not even funny.

A lot of important series mainstays made their debut here. The biggest and best is probably the introduction of the Dark and Steel types, the latter of which really feels like it should have been in Generation 1 to begin with. Steel quickly established itself as a very defensive type, and Pokemon of that type are just naturally tough due to Steel resisting nearly every other type in the game, with it only being nerfed slightly once the games jumped to 3D. Dark on the other hand was extremely cool in concept, but a lot of the Pokemon of the type were not able to properly utilize their impressive movepools due to Dark being classified as a Special type and a lot of early Dark-types running with high physical stats.

Let me clarify real quick: prior to Generation IV, the type of the move determined whether it ran off of Physical or Special Attack, no matter how ludicrous it seemed. That means Dark moves like Bite and Fire moves like Blaze Kick ran off of the Special Attack stat despite almost always appearing on Pokemon that had much higher Physical Attack, leaving a lot of Dark-types in the dust until the Sinnoh games rolled along and balanced things. Still, this bump in usability did not stop Dark-types from being popular and beloved, with Pokemon like Umbreon, Sneasel, and Houndoom all debuting here in the land of Johto.

Speaking of new Pokemon, fewer were added this time around, only about 100, sort of fitting in with this game feeling like an expansion pack. A lot of the new Pokemon are odd and gimmicky, with strange creatures like Unown, Delibird, and Shuckle making their debut here, as well as the almighty Dunsparce. While time would be kind to some of these (Dunsparce and Shuckle in particular have gained niche uses and cult fandoms), other gimmicky Pokemon got left in the dust. Still, I do think having weird, gimmicky Pokemon adds some flavor to the world. If there’s one thing I am upset about, it’s some of the Pokemon that were cut from the game, revealed to the world in the prototype version of Gold and Silver that leaked online. We almst got a new Shellder evo that looked like Slowbro’s tail, as well as Pokemon like Lickilicky debuting two generations earlier (and with a far better design). Still, what we got is pretty impressive, and though I find Johto a tad bit vanilla, there are a lot of Pokemon I love in this generation.

Another great addition to the franchise is lore behind the Legendary Pokemon. Gen I did have a bit of lore in regards to Mew and Mewtwo if you chose to read all of the journals in Cinnabar Mansion, but the bird trio got nothing and sort of just felt like random bonus bosses than Pokemon really deserving the title of legends. In this game, every legend introduced feels legendary. Entei, Raikou, Suicune, Ho-Oh, and Lugia all have fascinating lore behind them, and while they don’t play a major part in the story or factor in to Team Rocket’s plans (save for Suicune in Crystal, who has its own subplot), it showed that even this early on they were working on making the legendaries feel bigger and more impressive to the point they deserved their title as legends.

Then of course there are the new additions to gameplay and collecting that helped really make the franchise shine. The introduction of held items is one of the most significant; now there were even more ways to improve your standing in a battle! Give your mon a berry, they’ll eat it when their health gets low! This feature would be expanded on in later games, but its start here introduced a whole new world of possibilities. There was also the splitting of the Special stat into Special Attack and Special Defense a choice that helped balance the games and not completely overpower the Psychic type. And speaking of, Type distribution was quite a bit better in these games, though the new types Steel and Dark as well as Ghost and Dragon were still fairly underutilized and rare.

 Then there is the introduction of gender and breeding, which allowed players to get new Pokemon by leaving two Pokemon in the same egg group in a day care together. This not only allowed for the introduction of new baby Pokemon (which are largely useless and Pokedex filler if I’m being honest), but it gave the transforming blob of jello Ditto a new lease on life, as it could breed with absolutely ANYTHING, even some genderless Pokemon. Finally, we have the introduction of shiny Pokemon, Pokemon that had a different coloration than normal Pokemon and that almost surely existed to show off the power of the Game Boy Color. Back in Generation II, shinies were guaranteed to have perfect IVs of some sort or another to make their rarity more worthwhile, but this was scrapped after this gen. Still, there is nothing cooler than having that fabulous Pokemon with its incredible sparkle pop up while you’re roaming the wild, and nothing sadder than realizing you don’t have any balls to catch it.

The story here is also improved, which is a plus. A rarity for Pokemon games going forward, these games were true sequels to the originals, taking place a few years after the events of the Gen I games, and so the plot concerns the player getting roped in to not only stopping the remnants of Team Rocket trying to rise to power yet again, but also fighting off a mysterious rival named Silver, all while trying to complete the gym challenge. The stakes are a bit higher this time, but not overly so, and the plot definitely feels bigger and more important, with their being a sense of “I have to stop Team Rocket or something bad could happen” rather than “Ugh, these guys are blocking the way to the next gym, guess I better get rid of them.” And if that’s not enough, this has one of the more impressive post-games for the series… for its time. Much has been made of the late, great Satoru Iwata’s impressive cramming of the entirety of Kanto into the game, and you won’t hear me say that for the time these games came out what he did was impressive. 

The thing is, this accomplishment has aged about as well as the games the Kanto region debuted in. Gen II’s version of Kanto has a very poor level curve, meaning you can basically steamroll through most of the gyms, and a lot of areas are blocked off, gone, or cut down. While it is cool to see all these places two years after the original games, it’s not nearly as fun when you’re crushing underleveled Pokemon and you can’t access Cerulean Cave or the legendary birds. When you finally acquire all the badges though, you get to head to Mt. Silver and make your way up to one of the definitive bonus bosses of the franchise – Red, the player character of the original games. He’s a pretty tough opponent, and the game seems to lean towards making Yellow the true canon game as Red has all three starters plus Pikachu,

There’s not much else to say, as there isn’t too much negative to say about the Johto region or the games. The definitive version is, of course, Crystal, as it has a bit of extra story and polish to it and even let you play as a girl for the first time, and though there are aspects that the remakes of these games would improve on, the Generation II games are actually extremely solid and a lot of fun to play to this day, even if they haven’t yet achieved optimal balance for Pokemon. At the very least, they’re a lot more fun and playable than the Gen I games.

It’s pretty undeniable that the first two generations put Pokemon on a pretty solid path of progression and started the franchise off with a bang. There was really nowhere to go from here but up, and boy oh boy did they ever go up from here.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Gene Autry's Horse

Peter David recently posted a short essay on the current brouhaha over Martin Scorsese and Francis Coppola saying the Marvel movies aren’t real cinema, not genuine works of art, but just “thrill rides”.

Before going further, let me state my unabashed respect and admiration for Peter David.  He’s a creator who certainly earned his spurs, he has a massive body of work, he is an all around mensch, and his opinion is hard earned and well informed.

Except in this case, his conclusions are wrong.

To prove my point, let me ask Peter a question:

What was the name of Gene Autry’s horse?

Those of you wondering what Gene’s horse has to do with the Marvel cinematic universe (hence MCU), my explanation is this: The single largest genre of films made before 1960 were Westerns.

Add to that television programs, where Westerns remained a staple until the mid-1970s.

And radio shows.

And pulp novels.

And comic books.

They were the definitive American movie genre from 1903’s The Great Train Robbery until Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid drove a stake through the heart of the standard genre offering in 1969.

There are some who claim Blazing Saddles did the genre in, but Westerns had endured numerous comedy and parody versions in the past.

Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid killed the Western as a popular genre by simply having Butch and Sundance do the most logical thing at the first sign of danger, the thing the real Butch and Sundance did in real life:  They ran away.

And thus a genre trope was forever slain…

This is not to say they’ve never made another film that falls into the broad category of “Western”, but there’s no audience clamor for more of the genre.

Westerns are now simply historical films set in the American west during the period from the fall of the Alamo (1836) to Arizona becoming a state (1912).

There are films that employ Western genre tropes that take place in the contemporary era (Road House and Extreme Prejudice to name two) or transplant the Western genre to other lands (Sukiyaki Western Django and Tampopo, f’r instance), but as a genre it is dead-dead-DEAD.

Yet at one time, Westerns were so popular that not only did everybody know the name of Gene Autry’s horse, but said horse starred in his own TV series!

So what happened?

Well, several things.

I could cite the changing audience in America, going from 80% rural prior to WWII to 80% urban / suburban after WWII (with a corresponding rise in detective and spy genres, as well as sci-fi), or I could cite a huge glut of material made even more accessible by television, but the truth is this:  The overwhelming bulk of American Westerns were nothing but product.

It was actually built into the genre.  I’ve been trying to locate the original essay, but a scholarly study some years back concluded only 8 basic plot conflicts drove Western stories, and only 17 stock characters carried said stories (they can be good, bad, or neutral characters, effectively tripling their number).

The essay went on to liken American Westerns to Japanese noh or kabuki dramas:  Far from familiarity of material being a problem, audiences came expecting certain tropes and stock characters, and gained their enjoyment from how well said tropes and characters were presented.

Sound familiar?

This is not to say there weren’t films that fell into the Western genre that also aspired to art, but you either had to be a Hollywood heavy hitter to get a chance at making a film like that or, at the tail end of the genre, flying so low under the radar that nobody recognized what you were doing until you did it.

Does that sound familiar?

But the overwhelming majority of Westerns, while possessing technical craftsmanship, were just product:  So many feet of gunfights. So many reels of stampedes.

Big budget A-picture or bare bones B-movie, they all fell into the same general patterns, and studios, large or small, promoted them the same way.

And audiences were fine with this.  Tom Mix, Gene Autry, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans frequently wound up among the top 10 box office draws in Hollywood during their careers.

Where are those Westerns now?

I’m a big fan of old B-Westerns, having grown up with them on TV as a kid, and know a fair amount about the personalities and production companies involved, seeking out B-Westerns on Amazon Prime and YouTube and the multi-pack bargain bins at big box stores.

How many of today’s superhero fans could identify William Boyd or Red Barry or Rocky Lane or Buck Jones?

They might remember hearing the names of Roy Rogers or Gene Autry since those stars were involved in mainstream marketing such as fast food restaurants or baseball teams (and Autry donated a museum to Los Angeles that’s named after him), but how many have actually seen any of their movies?

We have two competing superhero universes today, DCU and MCU.

Where are the T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents movies?  How come there’s no Dr. Solar or Brain Boy or Magnus, Robot Fighter films?

Answer:  No large corporation stand to make billions promoting those characters and licensing them to toys, video games, vitamin, and Underoos.

Corporations possess no sense of integrity to the original creators’ concepts.  They will change things in the blink of an eye if they think it will boost their profit margin.  They’ll promote the silliest and the most self-damaging ideas if they think it will make them a few extra bucks today.

Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman succeeded at DC bcause nobody there cared what the creators did so long as they turned their work in on time.

Product.

Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko and Jim Steranko blazed exciting new trails at Marvel because Martin Goodman couldn’t have cared less what they were doing so long as they delivered on schedule and under budget.

Product.

They flew under the radar.  They worked in a fast and grungy fashion, knocking the books out as quickly as they could.

To amuse themselves they trafficked in big ideas, eccentric art, outre stories.

That it caught on and blazed a new trail proved a combination of talent and luck.

There was no similar boom for romance comics or nurse comics or Western comics during the same period.

Right now the MCU movies are riding high and they are made with a great deal of technical care and they are amusing and entertaining.

So were Westerns.

MCU movies aim at too specialized an audience.  They appeal to this generation, but there’s no guarantee they’ll appeal to the next.

Indeed, there’s a strong argument that the next generation will reject the previous generation’s entertainment simply because it’s…well…theirs.

The films of Coppola and Scorsese will be watched.

They’re not product.

Oh, there were financed to make money, sure enough, but they were financed to make money by expressing the director’s personal taste and vision.

Further, they tend to transcend genre.

Yeah, two generations from now people who really love gangster movies will probably look up The Godfather and GoodFellas.

But people who love film, people who love art will be watching them as well.

They’ll also watch Public Enemy and Little Caesar, but unless they’re film buffs with specialized tastes, they’re going to skip the dozens of “programmers” cranked out in the 1930s to satisfy fans of that genre.

And the reason?  The Godfather and GoodFellas and Public Enemy and Little Caesar transcend their genres.

They are about people, not thrills and chills.

Consider classic Universal horror films.

James Whale & co. snuck one bona fide brilliant work of art past Carl Laemmle with Bride Of Frankenstein but after that the brakes clamped down hard and fast.

Uncle Carl couldn’t have geniuses running around doing whatever they felt like, thus risking the audience for Universal’s product.

Consistent mediocrity is better than risky genius in the eyes of the corporations.

The classic Universal monsters?  Reduced to The Munsters now; familiar icons, to be sure, but empty jokes, shadows of their former selves.

Replaced by newer monsters who in turn have been replaced by newer monster who in turn have been replaced by newer monsters and who will be replaced by newer monsters still.

‘Twas ever thus.

I begrudge the enjoyment no nobody who enjoys MCU movies.

Have fun.  Knock yourselves out.

But never mistake popcorn for caviar.

    © Buzz Dixon

  Champion was the name of Gene Autry’s horse.

[elizabethrobertajones]

(part 1) this is random but something im curious about is do you think the next few years will see a radical shift in more lead lgbt couples in shows? i feel like when supernatural started it was all about subtext/queerbating between characters we would never see canon (maybe), the last few years have seen an update in more side lgbt characters/couples and while not a lot, more main lgbt characters then we had before. I don't know if tumblr/twitter fandom translates to general audience...

Yeah, I mean, the only way is up. I feel lucky that I managed to encounter a fair amount of queer content in my formative years, whether targeted programming on TV, or taking the route of not really differentiating the perceived cultural value of independent media like webcomics and webnovels etc from the mass media as I was young enough to naturally grow up on the internet as the internet itself was growing up and web 2.0 was pretty much taking off alongside my use of the internet. And that I had liberal parents who didn’t regulate our internet, and lived in a community where culturally I didn’t really fear being discovered casually accessing all this like in particularly this terrifying seeming evangelical christian community in America.

Which really makes me feel like A: everyone should feel that comfortable in themselves via the media as I did as a mass accessible thing or B: that the world at large should be soaked in as much representation and more that I encountered as a curious teen because at the very least it did me no harm and at best helped handhold me through an awful lot. 

And then brings us to the problem that the world isn’t actually like that and for a lot of people their media is restricted one way or another, from everything such as the era of social media weirdly making us much LESS broadly travelled on the internet as I was back in the day (SO many bookmarks - I had like 100 that I would check either daily or on their weekly update schedule, with enough habit that I had pretty much memorised it all without using an RSS feed or just following everyone’s twitter and waiting for update announcements, never mind the vast pit of things which I occasionally checked to see if their sporadic but very worth it updates had occurred somewhere in the last month/year) to the vastly overwhelming amount of media accessible to us. It seems almost to flood the market and creates this panic about watching the worthiest shows and campaigning for them and raising awareness and the FOMO and how things slip by and zomg you have to watch this that and the other, when even just making this list on Netflix now contains more hours of TV than a human lifetime and also one liable to disappear from the service at some point or another without warning. 

And then on top of that you have the absolute cultural monoliths that if you’re not going to have a cohesive culture - which now includes the entire population of the world because of our connectivity on the internet and mass-joining of services - based around smaller shows and stuff, then at the very least everyone is going to watch anything under the main Disney umbrella, other superhero flicks, animated things, and all the really big studio franchises and remakes, as well as a few TV monoliths which manage to get enough people talking to make it seem like “everyone” (again - these days it seems like that’s presumed to be the entire western world plus everywhere else these things air) are watching, like Game of Thrones or whatever… THESE properties are the inescapable ones and on that basis they’re the things we have to lean on the most for representation and then again barely get any, when it comes to gender and sexuality, due to them shooting for such worldwide markets that they can’t imply gay people exist to censors in places such as China. And it exposes the cultural awfulness inherent just in getting a white female character in the lead role of some things, or the absolute garbage fire lurking underneath that if you dare have a black stormtrooper or make one of your female ghostbusters black when you’re already ruining the childhoods of so many how dare… 

In those respects, having side characters who aren’t even major well-known superheroes or jedis or ghostbusters or whatever also be gay (because even well-known lesbian Kate McKinnon didn’t manage to get her ghostbuster to be canonically gay even if we All Knew) would be absolutely groundbreaking, even if it was, like, a role that could be snipped out for the Chinese market or something. And that’s probably exactly what would happen, and cue ensuing riot from whichever fandom, along with everyone rightly pointing out that even for us who got to watch it it was still a tiny side character… I mean Disney is still at the stage of what they did with Beauty and the Beast’s ~canonical gay character~ 

So yeah… that’s thrown back to TV and smaller movies to lead the way and because the generations showing most likely the real global percentages but actually just the young western world stats on queerness in any form (like… 25% instead of 1% or whatever and that’s STILL probably too low) are still teens to young adults. The previous gayest generation above them are still just arriving in power and settling in, and the excellent changes we already have from the generation before that is what we are seeing now... But given THEIR cultural context, even their best can still seem to younger eyes, moderate and not generally placing queer characters in lead roles except in niche or indie or otherwise “acceptable” places to take those risks. I think change is always coming and culturally each generation being more open and accepting that the last is really making changes and so on, hopefully things WILL change rapidly and what was the common state of affairs in the sort of indie media I consumed as a teen will be the mainstream soon because a lot of those creators 10 years later are kicking off… 

All that said, TV in the mainstream is still controlled by Mark Pedowitz types exercising their power over the Bobos who have their Wayward Sisters pitches with the clearly labelled main character for the main teen demographic being queer. The culture is very much that we’re now pretty open and can happily have queer characters, but the main characters are still largely held separate. A good example is Riverdale, which is on the CW, a newer show with writers such as Britta Lundin, who is young, queer, and wrote a novel blatantly based on being a Destiel shipper and fan interacting with the cast and crew in fandom spaces, and whose first solo episode of Riverdale featured a looooot of the gay stuff (yay). 

But while she’s a story editor and writer for the show and can use it as a platform for writing stories for its audience using a whole range of canonically queer characters, the show still keeps all 4 of its mains at a strict remove from this. Cheryl can come out as a lesbian in the second season after a lil ho yay in the first but no clearly marked storyline about her identity, but even though Betty and Veronica kissed in the first episode it was blatant fan service (for Cheryl in-story, lol) and mostly just set the tone that they are the sort of seemingly straight girls kissing for attention while having strong romantic or physical attraction to guys. In the second season the kiss comes up again in joking that Jughead and Archie are the only ones of the main 4 who haven’t kissed, Archie gets one planted on him by a dude as a “judas kiss” moment of betrayal in season 3 and he and Jug are teased that they were expected to get together because they were close but in the same sort of homophobic undercurrent tones as early Destiel snarking from side characters, seemingly less about their relationship and more to unsettle them with implications… I mean it was a complicated moment but in the long run it didn’t seem entirely pleasant to me, especially given the overall emotional state they were in and later plot etc etc. (My mum is 1000% invested in Riverdale now as a former Archie Comics reader as a kid so this is now my life too as I was in the room when my brother callously exposed her to it, hi :P) 

Anyway that’s just one case study but aside from SPN it’s probably the most mainstream teen demographic thing I watch… Other examples would be things like B99 which had Rosa come out as bi and that’s awesome, and made us all cry a lot, but Jake, the clear main character even in a very strong and well-treated ensemble, has a great deal of bi subtext, there’s no way given Andy Samberg’s apparent habit of ad-libbing MORE progressive jokes that he’d ever be intentionally harming people if that’s how his brain works (you know, like other people quick-fire offensive stuff from their mouth working faster than brain sense of humour :P). But at the same time for all Jake’s quipping about crushes and such and the fact the show clearly knows how to be sensitive to bisexuality with Stephanie Beatriz being a strong advocate, just because Jake’s the main character and adorably married to Amy. In NO WAY can that be threatened because they’re SO GOOD, so there’s STILL uncertainty that this will pay off in the same special episode “I love my wife but I am bi” kinda way that seems obvious that could just be said. We all carry on without it affecting anything because obviously Jake’s found his soulmate so we don’t mess with that but they should know it’s important to clarify it… Even with B99′s track record, I’m nervous solely because Jake’s the main character and main characters tend not to get self-exploratory arcs about latent queerness and ESPECIALLY not if they’re happily married. If ANY show was going to do it right and trailblaze in this exact era it would be them, but… gyah :P 

Anyway I guess the conclusion right now is that the more mainstream you are the more uncertain it feels, but we are right at that cliff edge, especially with shows putting in SOME of the work. If B99 doesn’t get us there (or the Good Place where they’ll happily confirm Eleanor is bi in interviews but I believe she hasn’t said it outright on the show despite clearly showing attraction to female characters, again, the denials we know so well in SPN fandom reflect a wider audience view of dismissing this stuff as jokes and not reflective of character feeling and identification without a Special Episode dedicated to confirming it >.>) then we’re very clearly on the cusp of SOME mainstream or massively well-known show doing it at least once in a meaningful way that has an Ellen-style cultural impact on TV writing. 

Let’s make it a goal for 2019 or 2020, and hope that a NEW show with a canonically queer main from the start is pitched and becomes a mainstream hit in the next 5… Still got a ways to go before Disney level mainstream but again there IS work going pushing the envelope, especially if we get a movie of a franchise such as idk Further Legends of Korra, or Steven Universe or something else that’s massively pushed the envelope with sexuality or gender for their main character on the small screen in the experimental petri dish they’ve had there for children’s TV. Something that would force Disney to blink about a lesbian princess or Star Wars to let Finn and Poe kiss or Marvel to let Steve and Bucky hold hands or something in order to remain relevant.

Once the Big Cultural Monoliths get in on it, I expect culture as a whole to first of all react quickly on the small screen, but honestly I’ve been waiting for them to snap pretty much my whole life since adolescence and they’re taking such wee tiny baby steps, and some factors are enormous geopolitical awfulness, that the story as a whole is unpredictable and we can only really hope that things don’t slow down. 

(Where this affects SPN is just impossible to say right now, given its almost unique position in this mess due to longevity vs fandom vs almost entirely new generation of writers’ room) 

[medicinemane]

I will be honest here, I really don't like the hyper realistic Japanese (actually thinking about it as I get further in the post and it's just Asian because like Lost Ark has that art style too) art style of like the newer Final Fantasy's and stuff

It's not awful, it's not badly done, it almost looks good a lot of the time, I'm not talking disliking it like I hate the Hobbit movie, I just don't care for it

I think that the PS1 FF7 and FF9 look better than the remake. Remake looks good, don't get me wrong, but what I'm really getting at is the art style itself lacks character. The FF7 remake has a ton of character to the designs, like they put so much work into so many little details and I respect that, but... I think it's really the faces that I most take issue with

What do I prefer? Honestly something like Genshin Impact where there's just a bit more stylization. It's still very realistic looking and whatever, but I just kind of want something that makes it unique looking and makes it look like itself

Now you might say "why don't you make this complaint about western shooters and stuff", and the answer is pretty simple. I don't remotely care about them. They absolutely suffer from the same problem, except where FF7 remake has a lot of love and detail and I think the stuff around the characters has some style, modern western shooters all just look the same and I don't care

Basically I don't care enough about them to complain, the fact I'm complaining about the Asian style is to a degree a complement of that I think it's worth complaining about

Anyway, they don't need to change it. The world doesn't exist to cater to my tastes. I just don't like it, and like what sparked this was seeing some game I'd never heard of and seeing a screenshot and being like... ah... that exact same style of face

It looks generic, I don't like that. I'd like things to look more distinct because it's been brought up many times that technically worse graphics can look better with good stylization, I think having character is a real important feature for art including animated art

That said, it rarely looks bad or anything. I just kind of get tired of it. You forget about it when you're seeing it in motion, I just don't care for it

(Don't play genshin impact, like I really like the game but it's gacha and like I really liked the characters and the world but the way everything but the story stuff is a chore and they want you to whale for characters burnt me out. I'll complement the style, the story, the combat, pretty much everything, but I'll say the monetization sucks and you really probably just shouldn't play it)

[narrowtriangle33-blog]

Quotes that accurately describe White Trump Voters.

"It’s not just that he’s white. White people sneer at, mock, ostracize, and generally hate on other white people all the time. It’s that he DELIVERS RACISM and THAT is the priority to his base. This is what gets me when writers and thinkers wring their hands in befuddlement, like Nichols is doing, about how Trump’s base can “vote against their own interests.” They’re not! They’re prioritizing the babies in cages, the “shithole countries” remarks, the deadly Charlottesville clashes with literal fucking Nazis, etc OVER health care, transitioning the economy away from fossil fuels, education, assistance to the poor, and whatever other liberal agenda items one would think would be natural, rational fits for the Cleti everywhere.

These people are absolutely voting in their own interests, and getting exactly what they wanted out of the Trump admin. He has been a tremendous success in their eyes because he has delivered racism since Day 1, and that’s what they want out of politics."

"This, They will never -ever- admit it, outside of trolling on the net, but Trump has done more to support their views and find great joy in it then any GOP member before.

He’s all but given up on the dog whistles, once he found out that the media will simply ‘tut-tut’ and that delights his base. Even when he does something that will fuck them over, they overlook it because he continues to advance their agenda with huge leaps. Most of the never-Trumpers discovered early on that going against him can lead to getting primaried and Mitch is content to let Trump do whatever the fuck he wants with limited disagreement, because he’s busy installing GOP goal friendly judges everywhere.

The DNC’s response has been to avoid rocking the boat as much as they can by offering up Joe with a bone thrown to black people with a possable black woman VIP. (If that even happens), but the chances are high that Trump will get another four years to continue to do as he likes. And what will the Dems do? Protest and throw shade and offer limited resistance that won’t slow down Trump for a second.

People don’t like to even entertain the idea that Trump will win, but without a huge number of people turning out against them, what else can they expect will happen?"

"My father HATED John Wayne with a burning passion that I remember from age 3-4! He loved Westerns but he would spend the entire movie foaming at the mouth at all the racist tropes and outright historical lies of each one of them! Honestly, although he loved thoughtful rap, I think he idolized Chuck D for simply uttering his infamous lyric!

Now that I’ve reached a certain age, I find I love Westerns too - but not John Wayne, Clint Eastwood or any old ones. I like the newer ones that speak to what deplorables white cowboys were: The Revenant, Bone Tomahawk, Hostiles and the like. They’re still white-centered and white-washed but any modern thinking person can see that the cowboy image should stand for nothing but a savagely cruel, thieving, raping murderer (and we’ve been consistently lied to)."

"Does Trump accept responsibility and look out for his team? Not in the least. In this category, he exhibits one of the most unmanly of behaviors: He’s a blamer. Nothing is ever his fault."

"This is nothing but rose-colored bullshit. Anyone who’s ever spent more than 5 minutes working in corporate life knows for the most part this isn’t how white men behave. Those offices are full of extremely mediocre men who are very confident and have nothing to back it up with other than their bluster, egos, and the generational wealth that allows them a leg up over others. That generational wealth allows them to go to the diploma mills that open doors for them. Admitting mistakes or even admitting just not knowing something in that environment comes off as weakness to them. They spend most of their energy trying to project the image of confidence and control, which is why they’re quick to rage when things don’t go their way. A good example is the douche bag running Quibi that gave that horrendus interview a couple of weeks ago. He was asked a couple of questions about why his company was failing while other streaming services are thriving, and where they might have went wrong in their business model. He didn’t accept responsibility for shit. He went into his hurt little feelings and attacked the interviewer, and tried to make the questions seem like they weren’t valid.

On steroids this white American exceptionalist world view is called patriotism. It manifests in the idea that we as a country can do things counter intuitive the rest of the world just because we’re the USA. More mass shootings by far than any other country? USA! Other countries have cheap/free education through college? So what, USA! Biden even displayed this during one of the debates when Warren pointed out the same disparity in our healthcare compared to every other developed nation. Guess how he responded.

I feel like I started rambling a little but what I’m trying to get at is that whiteness, toxic masculinity, and patriotism are so intertwined that its beyond the author of that Trump think piece."

"Funnily enough as the article and subject matter were in regard to racism in the US I didn’t feel a burning need to mention Indigenous Australians but to answer your question they are pretty much in the same boat as black Americans. Did anything I say imply otherwise or were you just fishing for an argument?

"Stupid as it is, “You’re a manly-man, right? So why is your manly-man leader such a cowardly little pussy?”

That’s not what he projects and that’s not what they see. They see him using aggressive and accusatory tones and language all the time and it makes him look tough."

They fall for the “Emporor Has No Clothes” routine because they never look at him critically. They buy the bullshit on the surface, and don’t see that his words never match his actions. He said on tv several times that if anyone in the country wants a Covid test, they can get tested. Ask them how many people they know whose jobs don’t require it, have actually been tested. He down played the death toll of this disaster every step of the way. Remember when we were supposed to be in church for Easter? As long as he lies with confidence, they’ll follow him to hell."

"I’m definitely tired, and frustrated, and everything else. I keep holding my nose and voting, and that only adds to the exhaustion and frustration because very little if anything seems to change, and in some ways we keep repeating the mistakes of the past. I’d never advocate for doing nothing, but trying to engage and challenge the average Republican-voting dipshit to think critically, and not keep supporting people and policies that perpetuate and exacerbate the problems this country has??? No thanks. If you’re not black, I so encourage you to take up that mantle, but for me as a black dude in this country I can’t. Talk about shooting the messenger. Plus, to keep it a buck, this is mostly white people’s mess, if not all. They need to fix it.

Honestly I feel like racism festers because most white people just look the other way. The racism of their peers/friends/relatives doesn’t impact them personally so they’re probably just people to be avoided. Why rock the boat when you can just avoid an uncomfortable topic? Joe might forward you Fox News and OANN stories, and racist FB memes, but he’s fun at Bills games. Well what if Joe is also a cop, or in a management position over minorities? You can bet money he takes those views you overlooked with him to his job. The PoC he interacts with won’t have the benefit of seeing him at Bills games, or might not even have the benefit of being seen as equals."

"People get so caught up in the blatant, mustache-twirling racism that they don’t see the subtle pervasive way it spreads like a cancer. For every Trump there are dozens Joes, and along with the Joes are the real problem: The people who ignore the Joes. The Joes and Karens go on to commit all kinds of microaggressions that Poc pretty much have to tolerate, and in Joe’s and Karen’s minds that’s just the way the world works. I deserved to get followed around Joe’s store. I came in wearing a hoodie and Adidas so I couldn’t be up to any good. Karen felt threatened when I walked into the building she lives in, so she felt justified to call the police, never mind the fact that I live there too. This is how deep this shit runs. It’s not just politics. Racism isn’t just baked into politics. It’s part of the flour the US was baked with.

So I appreciate you if you’re willing to call these fools out. I’m glad somebody is because I’m not wasting my breath. They won’t hear me anyway."

"I mean if Tom Nichols was in front of me and read this steaming pile of shit to me I would’ve slapped him silly and said the reason that people that look like you excuse all of his fuck ups, failings and mistakes is because well HE LOOKS LIKE YOU!!!! The question that none of these mouth breathing chud monkeys seem to want to answer or are incapable of answering is would you excuse any black, Hispanic or Asian man that had his resume? We know the fucking answer.

When this bloated piece of unseasoned chicken shut down the government in January of 2019 hurting his all white, poorly educated base the most a quote from a voter in Florida was burned into my head forever. She said upon not getting her government subsidized check (I mean they have no issues with the government helping them, it is those pesky brown people that are lazy and entitled) “He is not hurting the people he is supposed to be hurting.” Let that sink in. A voting US Citizen thought it was the job of the sitting *president to hurt people. That says it all. Their allegiance isn’t based in anything other than anger and hatred of those that they deem less than them. Fuck him and them and may they both rot in hell."

"“He is not hurting the people he is supposed to be hurting.”

That spontaneous, bewildered, stream of consciousness utterance by someone who doesn’t think critically but has an indwelt recognition of like-mindedness IS the Trump voter exemplified! A racist who found themselves too poor, too old and without the power to demand or protect the status quo and just wants to stick it to their perceived enemies while retaining ‘something’ for themselves.

That sentiment has fueled every waking thought, worry and action of an American white since the founding of this country.

So, it’s not just every Confederate flag waver, every neo-Nazi and every flyover state’er; it’s every aggrieved American white who had to accept the changing world around them; there’s no reasoning with them nor changing their minds.

My fear is that I’m becoming inhumane like them because I was soooo happy when he cut her Meals on Wheels and didn’t cut her Social Security check."

"I think you nailed this right on the head. All through the article, he keeps pointing out what we already know except for one thing. After all, why would white people elect someone who is so far outside of what they claim to be/stand for? He’s not conservative in any real way. Yet conservatives stand behind him. He’s not a Christian in any practical sense by his actions. Yet Christians say he’s sent by God. He’s not a good businessman, father, or even person. Yet here we are. The only answer that makes sense in any real way is that he is proof that to many people, any white man can do the same or better than even the best black man, woman, or POC in general. There’s always a backlash to progress both real and imagined. Trump is it."

"Also, a lot of the characteristics Nichols thinks represent the opposite of idealized masculinity are actually representative of masculinity as it is performed in this country. From my experience with men who lean into their masculinity, it is about performing dominance by antagonizing people, all in the service of making shallow, insecure men feel better about themselves.  Trump is a domineering asshole, which is what too many men think being a man is all about."

"It is fascinating how unbelievably brainless racists are. Many of the commenters and you Damon have pointed out the stupidity of racism. I mean this seriously, racists have absolutely abandoned intellect, progress, humanity or desire for real greatness that could manifest through equality, in order to hold onto the despicable delusion of superiority based solely on a human having more melanin than another. The sheer simplicity of the trick doesn’t even seem like it should work; but alas, all roads merge at Slave Rd. The dimwitted aptitude it takes for a person to actually believe stealing humans, beating, burning, assaulting, selling their children on auction blocks, splitting families (and more brutalities)...... all for greed born out of sheer laziness, and again stupidity is mindblowing. You literally must turn your brain off to be a racist, and you see it now. Millions of white people, with switch STILL off, courtesy of their forefathers, have continued down this same disastrous, nose-spite-ing road. There’s a lot of white people walking around with black kerchief’s, hiding the draining blood and a ragged hole where their nose once occupied, holding a tight grasp of their hate. Their greed. Trump finally allows them to remove that blood soaked kerchief with pride for all the world see their disfigurement. It’s stunning that there is pride where instead, their should be pure shame for then and for now."

[koffeefrkeleven]

Thoughts

I’m sure just about everyone has heard some relatively affluent person (middle class job, couple kids, suburban house) grumble about feeling financially pinched. Usually these people have crappy conservative views they share with their co-workers at the office, and together they grumble about anybody getting social services “must be nice,” they’ll say, “they (people on welfare) probably live better than I do...” Not sure why I am thinking of this. Maybe they just don’t know anyone who lives in poverty, or maybe the people they know they assume are outliers and “special cases” and “not like the rest of the freeloaders“. Maybe they even have their own experience of a job loss, or financial setback and they even view themselves as the exception to the rule that justifies their socioeconomic status and that of everyone below them.

...

I’ve read that it is true in America that the middle class only make comparisons of their situation to the people above them. Their boss that has a newer car or gets more vacations or has a larger house it a classier zip-code. I don’t watch much television as an adult, but it seems TV only ever portrays people of a certain affluence. You can tell by the gleaming counter-tops and the spacious imaginary rooms. To be poor in America is to be invisible. Maybe the Bundy’s in Married With Children or the TV family of Rosanne Bar, --but neither depicted poverty even if they were more recognizable. A little scrappy, but not poor. I think I am floored by this line of thinking, I mean, middle class folks rent space to store their shit because even though they live in a massive house they still need room to store their shit. They buy houses with enough room (with an empty room) in case they need to “grow their family.” The counterpoint to this (using myself here, disabled since 2001, I have worked at least part time all but a couple years since then). I have, --what is to me-- a very pleasant, cozy 2br apt for my son and I. I would imagine people with more money would be unused to quarters this cramped, but otherwise, coming to my apartment wouldn’t be that much unlike walking into a home of an affluent friend, --if scaled down. There’s the usual TV (a CTR for my son to play video games) a game system or two (gifts, often) and other electronics I use for my living. In the kitchen, the fact that consumer goods are cheap means I have either thrifted or been gifted all the things they would likely recognize in their own kitchens. Perhaps the basics, anyway, since I largely don’t buy small appliances. Still, there’s nothing here that screams to most people “dire poverty” (--to be fair, I don’t live in dire poverty, I’m just a hair below the poverty line with my income for selling art teaching and hosting events). Even though consumer goods are cheap, most of my clothes are years old, and I wear them until they fall apart. Even if you are poor, you can’t afford to look poor --especially as a teacher or artist. I have to have some suit jackets, and I have an abundance of ties. My furniture, like my clothes, are repaired again and again, until they can’t be any more. Gifts, dumpster-diving, bought second hand. There is maybe a half-dozen pieces of furniture I bought from an actual furniture store. There are some valuable things related to my occupation, or (frequently) gifted by more affluent family or gotten second-hand from friends.

I eat very well, but there’s a couple factors to this. There’s a the federal subsidy I financially qualify for, and I go regularly to food pantries (imagine if you will the unspeakable horror of off-brand cereals and peanut butter, --shocking to the affluent? Maybe?). Joking aside, being disabled I have more time than food budget so I stretch my dollars by buying no pre-made foods at all. A bag of potatoes in the long run is cheaper/more versatile than a bag of tater-tots. I make my own breads, pizza dough, and (often) my own crackers and tortillas.

If I am painting a rosy picture of “poverty,” --that’s intentional. I’m well aware there are many, many people clicks down the economic ladder. I’m protected from “dire poverty” by two things: federal disability and my education (which assures the work I do when I am able is paid at a much higher rate than minimum wage). My disability is also higher than most, because disability is calculated based on your last wage (ie: my last year teaching full-time). Interestingly enough, it is the people that live in “dire poverty” that the middle class maligns. Poverty cuts across racial lines and demographic concerns like the urban/rural divide that defined so much of this last election cycle. In Western Saratoga County (where I grew up) poverty was obscured by the fact it as down a driveway in a trailer park hidden by stands of trees to obscure it from the road. Trailer parks are tucked on side roads and dilapidated farmhouses with sagging porches. It’s part of American’s ugly legacy of racism that the popular imagination puts a brown face and Africanized name on poverty. But even where poverty is deeply entrenched it’s hidden because more affluent neighbors find it unsightly. They re more worried about their property values than homeless having a bed when the temperature dips during a NY winter.  The max amounts for TANF (public cash assistance) for a family size of 2 or 4 people is $363 or $763 (assume single adult, kid, or 2 adults, two kids).  On that, it would be hard to find an apartment I could live in in the city I live in. There’s a paltry $100 dollars more if you qualify for a “special housing need” which at the household of 4 is  $711 a month, --which might get me a decent studio apartment, --might-- and with nothing left over for the month. And that is the first major problem of dire poverty, right there. Poverty means you’re pretty much always going to go from one crisis situation to another to keep living in doors. There’s a paltry $100 dollars more if you qualify for a “special housing need” which at the household of 4 is  $711, --which might get me a decent studio apartment, --might.

“But why don’t they just get jobs?” Thanks for paying attention, Jimmy, --they do work. All public assistance recipients are required to work to get benefits. It’s been that way for years. Because you have a charmed life and have never needed assistance, you are lucky enough to avoid finding out that “just getting a job” doesn’t cure poverty when wages have been stagnant for so long that people are working their 40 and still can’t make ends meet or get ahead. Assuming they can get a full-time gig, because we in the US allow profitable companies to hire many PT workers have them work just enough so they don’t qualify for health care and benefits. If and when they get a bit ahead, their gain will be lost if they or a child gets sick or some other emergency expense arises.

Good try though, buck-o. This has been long. I could spill a lot more ink (or computer pixels --as it were) on this topic. There is an idea among the middle class that poverty should be made so mollifying and humiliating that people would be shocked into doing everything it takes to uplift themselves so they are never poor again. If you have spent time at DSS, look around at the tired, worried faces. It is exactly as humiliating and mollifying as Conservatives want it to be. But these are people with almost no way out. A job hasn’t gotten them out of poverty. The benefit they’re seeking won’t do it. These are people just being ground up and sent to their graves early by a broken economy with a dead safety net. If you ask a poor person how you strike it rich in America, --they will probably take you to a corner store or market and tell you to buy a scratch off. And economists that study social mobility in America will likely agree with them. Because the American dream is dead, and the dollar and a dream is what they got now. The American middle class is pinched as well, and feeling resentful. The middle class has been swallowing a meanly crafted folk-lore about poverty and supposed “generous benefits” that barely keep people in housing and alive for 30 years now. Even without any idea of what poverty is like, most middle class Americans are too scared to lose what advantage they have and are fighting like hell to keep it. Fighting for the status quo that grinds up the people below them. The middle class has almost no interaction with the poor, --generally. I wish I felt better about my country. I wish I liked people that are economic “winners” more than I do. (I do have many friends that are pretty affluent, --owning their own homes even in a city like Albany with it’s relatively high cost of living, --but most are urbanites who see the poor daily, and they get it. They are usually very aware of how good they have it and often I find they pick up the tab when we go out together --because money doesn’t matter, or at least not more than the company does, I hope).  The question of whether “they have it better than I do” is pretty easily answerable, --however.

[blessuswithblogs]

Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood: A launch analysis

(note that there are some spoilers for patches 2.0-4.0 here if you haven’t played but want to)

Stormblood's first major content patch, 4.1, has been going strong for about a month now and most people have seen the majority of the initial cycle's content, so I feel confident in writing about something that's been on my mind for a while. Namely, taking an in-depth look at how Stormblood launched in mid-June and how it compares to its direct predecessor, Heavensward. I didn't want to commit myself to anything before enough time had passed to really get a feel for how things developed, but I think enough time has passed at this point to make a fair and honest evaluation.

Overall, I think that Stormblood had a much stronger launch period than Heavensward did, no doubt thanks in large part to harsh lessons learned back in 2015. I'll start with the bad part so I can get them out of the way: the first few weeks of Stormblood were a god damn mess in terms of server stability and functionality. Raubahn Extreme and the Unending Coil of Pipin will probably stick in the memories of lots of players who really just wanted to get to Kugane please please let me in to the instance please god. The main story quest instances were all of high quality and memorable, experimenting with implementing various group mechanics like stacking, spreading, and tethers in a single-player battle both to make playing through the story more interesting mechanically and to acclimate newer players to common to mechanics in level cap content. Regrettably, none of that actually matters if you can't get in to the damn thing in the first place. Server congestion was so monumental that, ironically, having to create an instance for each individual player instead of being able to consolidate them into groups of 4 or 8, made it nigh impossible to get into the main story quest battles at all for a majority of people. When faced with this obstacle, many players decided to simply progress by grinding out FATEs in the Fringes and the Peaks, and in some cases, managed to exploit their way past certain terrain features nominally impassible without flight or story progression to reach areas with higher level events and enemies. In a bizarre but touching display of cooperation, players with 2-person capable mounts who were experienced in exploiting the level geometry would ferry other less adept players across the thresholds so they could actually get to new places. For those fortunate enough to get into an instance and successfully complete it before the servers caught up with themselves and spat them back out again, sailing was mostly smooth from then on due to the natural if unintended throttling effect severely limiting the amount of players actually competing to get into subsequent instances. Not too much later, a potentially game-destroying bug involving Susano, the first Primal battle in 4.0, and entering his instances while sitting down would cause considerable consternation among the unlucky few who discovered it and paranoia in those who had heard of the bug but hadn't yet discovered the cause. This issue, at least, Square was able to identify and fix fairly quickly. Errant coding is a much less daunting challenge than several more million people playing your game than you really accounted for.

In time, these problems resolved, and it bears mentioning that the height of these issues were present only during the game's early-access period for pre-orders. I remember mentioning to someone that in the end, as annoying as they were, the congestion issues would create some lasting memories of the launch period. While small consolation, I feel that in that respect, I was right. Heavensward had its share of congestion problems, but they were largely mitigated by creating separate instances for each major expansion zone. Stormblood did the same thing, but the battle instance servers simply weren't prepared for the volume of traffic they received. Fortunately for us all, once these issues resolved, Stormblood proved to be a delightful experience in almost all respects.

The main story of Stormblood chronicles the liberation of Ala Mhigo and Doma from the Garlean Empire. The revolutions of these countries have been alluded to, mentioned, and hinted at since the early days of 2.0 (and in Ala Mhigo's case, 1.0). When Heavensward was announced and the late 2.0 story switched gears to heavily involve Ishgard and the Dragonsong War, a lot of people were sort of perplexed at this seeming nonsequitur. While Heavensward's story proved to be one of its stronger aspects, the fact remained that we were leaving the imperials up to their own devices indefinitely to go galavant with catholic elves and dragons for 5 patches. Stormblood returned us to the more down-to-earth realm of imperial occupation that underscored most of 2.0's main story. I don't necessarily want to spoil the entire story arc of Stormblood, so I will be vague when possible. In some ways, the narrative of Stormblood feels a bit unfocused, as the warrior of light gets punted around to opposite ends of the world to agitate rebellion in two different nations entirely. It does make a certain degree of sense, given that historically, huge expansive colonial empires were weakest when dealing with multiple fires at disparate locations, so the divide and (re)conquer strategy survives scrutiny, especially when one considers that the warrior of light has the semi-canonical ability to just teleport instantly over vast distances with aetherytes for a modest fee. The fact remains that one does get a feeling that in a perfect world, the writers would have liked a unique expansion for each nation's struggle. This was exacerbated pre-launch by a number of player's vaguely racist negative reaction to Hingashi and Doma as "stupid weeb shit". Given that Final Fantasy XIV is a primarily Japanese developed game, of course, the idea of anything in it being "weeb" is preposterously self-centered by western audiences. I understand the desire to focus on Ala Mhigo before Doma, but overall I think that the writers did a good job of combining the two rebellions into one more or less concurrent narrative. I mentioned earlier that many of the single player instances in the main story and job quests were very good and memorable, experimenting with a lot of different things to keep the experience fresh and engaging. The Dark Knight job questline in particular stands out and honestly I want to write a piece on that alone. I probably will. The leveling dungeons are also all of very high quality, ranging from the very memorable Sirensong Sea's introduction aboard the privateer vessel crashing into a haunted ship's graveyard straight out of Final Fantasy 5 to the heroic final assault on the Ala Mhigan capital alongside all of your Grand Company and Resistance Allies. The post 70 dungeons, though somewhat limited in number compared to 3.1, made the wise decision to include the 70 story dungeon in the Expert Roulette table to avoid the Heavensward problem of only ever doing Fractal Continuum or Neverreap. Jesus Christ, Neverreap.

The climax of Stormblood's story, I think, is one of the major ways it outshines Heavensward. Stormblood ends with a titanic confrontation with Zenos yae Galvus, the inexplicably powerful imperial viceroy that has been kicking dirt in your face the entire time. Zenos is an interesting existence within the FFXIV universe, because historically, the Warrior of Light Does Not Lose, while Zenos managed to defeat them twice - once without seemingly expending much effort. It was a necessary story beat, I think, because the player needs to be reminded that they aren't invincible, and having a legitimately dangerous Imperial foe to contend with is healthy for the story. It's easy to forget the scope and power of Garlemald on a personal level because the Warrior of Light has left a veritable mountain of crumpled centurions, prelates, magitek weaponry, and even legatuses (legatii?) in their wake. Giving the imperial war machine's vast power and influence a face in Zenos puts some stakes back in the story that have been missing since the third time you personally trashed Regula van Hydrus on Azys Lla. Initially, I was pretty offput by losing to Zenos, both because I felt like if I had the time, I could have beaten him in a battle of attrition and because I felt like the Viceroy had not earned the right to be as strong as me. The mythology of the warrior of light is justified by how difficult and effortful some of the endgame battles are to beat. When you earn the Final Witness title or clear Sephirot extreme or earn an Alexandrian chestpiece, when you defeat these enormous godlike beings made of pure magical energy and hatred for all human life and you especially, you feel that all the effusive praise you get from NPCs in the world isn't just the game trying to make you feel special. It's an honest respect for your legendary prowess and heroism. There's a moment in late Heavensward, when Alisae Levilleur returns to the story after being mostly absent since the final destruction of Bahamut, where she begs you to go to the Ixali homeland and prevent another summoning of Garuda. If you went through the whole Binding Coil of Bahamut beforehand, once she learns that you have departed to deal with matters there, she immediately relaxes and considers the matter cosed. She knows just how capable you are. She was there in the bowels of the earth with you as you cut your way through ancient machines, dragons, and bioweapons. It was a powerful moment of a character showing you genuine and heartfelt respect in a genre where, despite your status as Biggest Heroine Ever, you are still tasked by NPCs to pick up poop.

So, when Zenos brought me to my knees not once but twice, I was mad. By design, I'm sure. How was he so strong? How could he even hang with me, someone who makes a living killing gods and vengeful elder dragons? Your final confrontation with him at the end of the level 70 dungeon is satisfying because your soundly beat his face in and make him retreat, but not entirely. There's still more to go. Here we get into blatant spoiler territory, so if you want to experience this for yourself and haven't yet, you might want to clock out right about now. At the pinnacle of the royal palace, in a field of flowers, you confront Zenos for a final time, only to find him standing in front of Shinryu, wrapped up into a nice little package by the erstwhile Omega Weapon. After a conversation about the nature of the Echo and its relationship to Primal beings, he frees Shinryu from its prison, and in a single shot, Zenos's overwhelming power up until now is explained clearly and succinctly as his eyes glow with the telltale pattern of a Resonant. What felt inexplicable up until that moment was suddenly perfectly clear: the Viceroy has, in broad strokes, the same power that you do, augmented with imperial technology, the best training available in the modern world, and a lifetime of military experience. And now he's riding around inside another vengeful dragon god. The final battle with Shinryu is an incredible and much anticipated spectacle. The battle between it and Omega was the capstone of 3.5 and the major catalyst for Stormblood even happening, and now the game makes good on what it promised. It's also pretty hard? Like beating it with a bunch of randos in 290 artifact gear is not trivial. When you triumph, Zenos falls to the earth in a spectacular green comet, and now finally satisfied in meeting his match, the one person who understands him, he takes his own life. It's a somber moment, because as pumped as you might be to finally be done with this asshole, it also reminds you that behind this unfeeling monster of a person was a deep, abiding loneliness born of a life of experimental augmentation and violence. You don't feel bad about killing him, but as Lyse opines afterwards, you are reminded that none of us start out evil, and it is a difficult task indeed to escape the bonds of our forebears. With the Viceroy's death, Ala Mhigo and Doma are both free. Imperial forces are in disarray, scrambling to retreat back to the mainland of Ilsabard, with the Emperor feeling the sting of decades of wasted time and money more keenly than the death of his son. When confronted by the always enigmatic Elidibus about his grief, Varis surprises even the immortal, inhuman ascian with his response: he snorts dismissively and simply states that the throne is no place for a monster. It's a chilling exchange that sheds some light about how Zenos came to be what he was - the implication here is that Varis was going to have his own son surreptitiously disposed of at some point to ensure that he never ascended to the position of Emperor. Reasonable given what we know about the son's character, but callous and calculating enough to give even a Paragon pause. The conclusions to the 4.0 story is a strong conclusion. It doesn't neatly wrap up everything in a bow. There are still many stories to be told about reconstruction, repatriation, the establishment of new goverments, how old friends fit into a new world. Also there's Omega chilling out in a hole somewhere. Despite all that, it is a strong, decisive ending to the main story arc of Stormblood, closing with a touching rendition of the Ala Mhigan national anthem as Arenvald raises the nation's flag to recreate the beautiful Amano logo.

Contrast to Heavensward, which ends the 3.0 story arc in an extremely "Tune in next time!!!!" series of events that honestly just sort of leave you feeling bemused. You fight your way through Azys Lla to get to the rogue Archbishop, who becomes the godly reincarnation of Ishgard's first King Thordan and his knights twelve to destroy Lahabrea, your longtime immortal masked nemesis, in an extremely anti-climactic and valor thiefy way. You end up fighting him because A. a realm-wide theocracy dictated by the decree of an egomaniacal elf-pope with a hateboner for dragons sounds fucking shitty and B. he became a Primal, and you are contractually obligated to kill those before they suck the world dry of Aether to sustain their untenable physical forms. There's a good moment after you win where a dying Thordan beholds you with raw terror and demands to know exactly what you are, that you could withstand the power of a thousand years of fervent prayer, the eye of a great wyrm, and the dormant power of the warring triad sleeping beneath Azys Lla. It looked a little silly because my Warrior of Light is a cute and well mannered midlander girl about as intimidating as a puppy in her Sharlayan Philosopher's Hogwarts factulty coat and witch hat but I imagine if you were like, playing as a roegadyn or a highlander wearing something slightly more threatening it could have been a stark shot portraying you in a much different light than what you're used to. Anyway, Thordan dies, Estinien runs in a full five minutes too late, realizes that the second eye of Nidhogg was in the Vault's basement all along, and resolves to put them both out of reach of man and dragon forever. Unfortunately, putting both of the eyes together makes Nidhogg's spirit rematerialize and posess Estinien's body, and he flies off to go take a nap back at the Aery before he resumes with the total destruction of the Holy See. And. That's kind of how it ends. Like there's a nice scene afterwards where Ser Aymeric signs some documents to officially become a part of the Eorzean Alliance and switch to a parliamentary system of government as Merlwyb almost shoots somebody by accident again. And then Elidibus goes to the moon and recruits the Warrior of Darkness to come down and fuck shit up and also Alexander activates in the hinterlands due to goblin hijinx. It ends on like 3 different cliffhangers which don't really feel earned and you get the feeling they didn't really know how to wrap this up until 3.3, which, admittedly, had a fantastic overall conclusion to the Dragonsong War arc and 3.4 finally did literally anything with the Warriors of Darkness in a pretty spectacular way.

Having a strong conclusion is not the only way that Stormblood compares favorably to its predecessor. Of much more concern to most of the playerbase and not my literary-analysis-obsessed-ass is the endgame raiding scene. Which is, also of my concern because I'm a literary-analysis-obsessed-ass who also raids. The initial Alexander raids in the Gordias sector are infamous among the community for basically killing the robust raiding scene that had evolved from the excellent Binding Coil of Bahamut. The idea behind them was sound, and was repeated and refined in Stormblood: they first released the normal difficulty raids that most players could do without exerting too much effort to get weekly drops for better gear and experience the story behind Alexander and the Illuminati, and then followed up with the Savage difficulty. Savage was more in line with the previous Coil raids, offering much harder, more complex encounters with greater rewards like the highest item level gear available and upgrade tokens for gear bought with tomestones. Sadly, the Gordias raids were bad. Well, maybe bad is a strong word, but they were not nearly up to the caliber of quality set by the Binding Coil. The normal versions of the raids were serviceable, but not very memorable, and the musical score was, uh, shall we say, divisive. The Savage tier raids were punishingly difficult exercises in frustration as players scrambled to relearn how to play jobs that had changed on fundamental levels and understand poorly defined and programmed mechanics like digititis and the gobwalker. On release, Savage Living Liquid was mathematically impossible to defeat before enrage witout very specific compositions optimized for damage above all else and the best possible available gear - these compositions weren't actually discovered until the delayed Chinese release, which had the benefit of hindsight and a more solid understanding of how jobs functioned in the post 2.0 world. Living Liquid was where raid groups went to die. When people finally got to Savage Manipulator, they quickly learned that the optimal way to get through it was to intentionally fail certain mechanics and die, then utilize the Free Company buff Back on your Feet to quickly revive that player and minimize time spent in the Weakness state. It was a trip, and people were not happy. During the anniversary stream, statistics about the number of players who had entered and cleared Savage instances came out. For ALexander 1 and 2, the numbers were fairly reasonable, but fell to triple digits for 3 and literally zero for 4. Post Heavensward launch was one of the roughest periods for the game, both because of the raid situation and because a lot of company money was tied up in delivering the giant bloated baby of Final Fantasy XV and the XIV team were working with a skeleton crew for a lot of the duration. Subsequent raid tiers in 3.2 and 3.4 gradually fixed a lot of the problems present in the Gordias sector, but the damage had been done.

Stormblood, however, has had no such issues. The Bend of Time: Omega Weapon raids have been very well received both mechanically and aesthetically. It seems that the developers erred on the side of caution this time around. Instead of introducing a bunch of largely random and samey Goblin robots to fight, Yoshida and the team went back to a bottomless well that has served them with distinction over the course of the game's lifespan: references to older Final Fantasy games that people loved. The first tier of Omega consists entirely of fights against demons of the dimensional rift from Final Fantasy 5, digitally reconstructed by the godlike Omega Weapon in a special dimensional space to participate in a grand experiment to see who The Strongest Fucker is. The Warrior of Light and the Garlond Ironworks find themselves caught up in this scheme during their investigations into the weapon's whereabouts after its battle with Shinryu. Midgardsormr, King of Kings, father of the first brood, and judgmental grandparent to the Warrior of Light also makes an appearance, seemingly with a deep connection to the mysterious Allagan supermachine. The raid tier culminates in a fight against the fan favorite villain Exdeath in one of the best fights in the game so far. With the possible exception of Alte Roite, who is kind of just there, all of the fights in this tier have unique, memorable mechanics to deal with, some of which are quite hysterical, like using an anti-gravity device provided by Nero to float above ground attacks, realize with alarm that you can't get back down, and then realize the boss will just do it for you, or strategically turning into a frog to get bonus limit break. The savage fights are obviously a step up in difficulty, but the developers decided to tone it down from Gordian levels and make the fights more accessible and clearable by more people. Which is not to say that they are easy fights - savage Halicarnassus and Exdeath require strong coordination and adaptation to survive. In order to entice more experienced players to take on these marginally-less-absurd challenges, the team has included mechanics and in the case of Exdeath an entirely new fight in the Savage instances that are quite fun and not present at all in the normal versions. This trend was actually started by Brute Justice in the Midan sector, who had a final hyper mode phase in savage that was absent in normal, though it was infamous for its incredible difficulty, even by Alexander Savage's standards. So, like with other aspects, they took this element of what came before and refined it and toned it down so now you can fight Neo Exdeath in glorious 3D.

The Omega raids are not flawless, by any means. While the Final Fantasy geek inside of me is vibrating constantly at the thought of more throwback fights later on, the more objective game critic side does genuinely prefer original content like what was found in Alexander, at least, in theory. Hardcore raiders are also quick to point out that they were kind of easy, but I'm not sure that their judgment of these matters is actually sound because only a small part of the population can sit down for 8 hours a day and ram their heads against the challenge and pave the way for the rest of us. Fortunately, the team expected this and has recently released The Unending Coil of Bahamut. The Unending Coil is a reimagining of the fights against Twintania, Nael Deus Darnus, and Bahamut himself condensed into one and made excruciatingly, preposterously difficult. This gave the hardcore groups a meaty bone to chew upon, and a clear didn't come nearly as fast as it did for Omega savage. There are tangible rewards for clearing it, as well - you get shiny dreadwyrm weapons which may have better stat allocations than their genji counterparts and the aptly named title "The Legend." They also released the Royal City of Rabanastre 24-person raid not long before at the launch of 4.1 for more casual players to enjoy and gear up with. Rabanastre has seriously ludicrous lore implications and tons of fanservice for the Ivalice Alliance appreciators in the audience, and in general is just much more fun and interesting than the Void Ark (though sadly lacking in Voluptuous Void Booty department). With the introduction of a radically new PvP mode in Birds of Prey where you get to ride around in giant robots, and rumors of the Forbidden Land Eureka making an appearance soon, the  Stormblood launch is enjoying much more support and longevity than Heavensward did.

Of course, the possibility remains that later patches in this cycle are going to be total trash heaps, but I think that it's fair to assume that they will not be those. The FFXIV is one of the best around at learning from mistakes and iterating upon good ideas until they are also good in execution. It's a game that has genuinely gotten better each time it has been updated, with some notable exceptions that were usually fixed pretty quickly anyway. At this point, I feel confident in saying that Stormblood is a superlative expansion with 4 more content patches to go promising a lot of really really cool shit. I'm super pleased, and it's probably my game of the year. It's extremely gratifying to watch the team grow and learn over time and create some really excellent experiences in every arena: social, mechanical, narrative and graphical. A haven for the bold is a great place to be right now.

[michaelakhan]

My happiness is… How my varsity squash career went so wrong, but so right

Michaela here, your resident university squash player. No, squash is not the same as racquetball. No, you don’t get hit by the ball that often. But yes, it bloody hurts when you do.

I’ve grown up in what you would call the epitome of #SquashFam. My dad was (and is) pretty freaking good at squash – 2x individual and 3x team OUA champion, former #1 player in Trinidad. My sister is the current #1 player on the Western University team. Our parents actually met playing squash in the great city of London, Ontario, where I have been living for the last 6 years.

It should be no surprise that I started playing squash when an adult racquet was probably taller than me. I played recreationally throughout my childhood, but it was mostly just a place to hang out with friends. Instead, I was enjoying a rather illustrious gymnastics career, while also dabbling in a gazillion other sports. However by my mid-teens, it became evident that my time gymnastics was coming to an end (story for another day). Being the ‘all or nothing’ type of person I am, I knew I needed to find another sport that I could throw myself into. With an international coach at my fingertips (shoutout to Coach Khan aka Dad), squash seemed like a decent place to start.

One little problem. As it turned out, I really, really, really hated squash. Emphasis on the really.  

I cannot tell you how many times I threatened to quit. I would cry in the change rooms after (sometimes during) practice, thinking how anyone could enjoy this absolutely brutal sport. Chasing around a tiny, uncontrollable ball while trapped in a 4 walled room... That was supposed to be… fun?!

LOL. Apparently.  

Fast forward a few years. As much as I despised squash, I was fueled more by competitiveness than hatred. The more tournaments I entered and got my ass handed to me in, the more I desired to master the crazy game. Finally, I made the decision to try out for the squash team at the same university my Dad had played at the #1 position for.

I miraculously made it through try-outs and onto the playing team, but my first year on the team was incredibly trying. I still hadn’t fully figured out if I actually liked the sport, but I had decided I didn’t fit in on the team. New teammates, new coaches, new school. I struggled so much socially that just showing up to practice seemed like a chore. Squash may be an individual sport, but I had never felt so isolated.  

Thankfully, the ball seemed to become more controllable as I moved through university. I made the jump from the #4 player in my 1st year to the #2 player in my 3rd year, and looked set to hold down the #1 spot in my 4th year. I had made life-long friends on the team, endured punishing tournaments that pushed me to my limits, and was maintaining a solid GPA. My love for the sport was blossoming. Squash dominated my thoughts, even when I wasn’t on court.  

Life may have seemed good on the outside, but inside, a storm was brewing. One year after another, I would end the season with one of my feet in a cast. The third time I slipped on my trusty old Aircast boot, my doctor wouldn’t clear me to play. Weeks went by, then months. Finally, my injuries stretched through the seasons. Plural. It took so much of my physical and mental energy to crawl my way back to the court after so much time not being able to crawl out of bed because of the pain and heartache.    

I got there in my 6th year at Western. I rejoined the starting line-up in September 2018 - not fully functional, but at least on court.

I was out again by December 2018. Surgery scheduled for April 2019. 

‘Devastated’ doesn’t come close to describing it.  

During my recovery, I came across an article by Alex Cyr, a St FX and U Windsor track athlete (http://uwindsorlance.com/a-friendly-word-of-advice-to-fellow-student-athletes/). He talked about athletes whose lives are consumed by their sport (check), and what happens when, by cruel twists of fate, you can no longer play it anymore. He suggested that if and when that happens, to find new ways to contribute to your sport.

Looking back at my university squash career, I saw immense failure. It was painful to admit that I would never be a true #1 on the team or leave any sort of legacy. I felt like a fraud - walking around in my varsity jacket knowing how long it had been since I had played a tournament. However, after reading that article I realised that I may have still found the ‘ways’ that Alex talked about.  

I had been a 1x vice-captain and 2x captain, roles I took very seriously and still consider to be the biggest honour Western ever gave me. I had the opportunity to tour prospective high schoolers around campus. I logged hours upon hours of court time, coaching the team through drills. I cheered for my teammates in matches and travelled with them all over the province. I had the privilege of introducing players in tournaments and giving the pre-game pep talk. In the minute and a half between games, I offered teammates the best advice I had to give. Hands were held and shoulders were cried on during the hard times. Milestones – everything from first kisses to overcoming mental illnesses – were celebrated. We danced the night away at tournaments and laughed until we hit the floor. My heart would swell with pride when teammates sent me good midterm marks that had boosted their grades. My own grades had stayed consistent too – earning an OUA All-Academic Canadian certificate (and a darn good free lunch) each year and a fully funded master’s degree. I had also found my voice – less afraid to speak up when things didn’t feel right. As a 6th year veteran, I felt it was my duty to make sure that no teammate should feel like I had in my own 1st year.  

In those aspects of varsity sport life, I had not failed.  

My time on the Western University squash team will not be remembered in writing like my Dad’s achievements. My kids will not walk past squash trophies with my name on in Thames Hall or a picture of me in Western’s Student Recreation Centre. I was not an MVP, Purple Blanket winner, or an OUA All-Star. 

Did I want all those things? Hell yeah.

But things don’t always work out the way you want them to, and now I can see my gains instead of losses.

Through all my successes and failures, I will always be proud to have worn the Mustang on my chest for 6 years - as a teammate, captain, coach and, most importantly, a friend.

So for the last time - Stangs on 3.  1, 2, 3… STANGS!

Be kind to yourself, 

Michaela (aka girl who asked for a burrito immediately after her surgery but was denied this right because she threw up after chugging ginger ale)

☼ / ☾

Picture time!!!!

Yep, pretty sure the racquet’s taller than me

First OUAs at home in London - it may look like I was on top of the world here (ha ha) but I was really struggling

Dad’s picture at the Western Student Recreation Centre - I walk past this picture of my Dad each time I go to the courts on campus. It’s a good reminder that he is quite literally always looking over and out for me 

Dad and Western University’s legendary coach Jack Fairs at the Western Mustang Sports Hall of Fame Banquet, Oct 2018. Dad’s holding a picture his 2nd individual OUA championship trophy in 1990. As a coach and mentor (read “second father”), Jack changed my Dad’s life in many ways. I am always thankful to have spent many weekend afternoons with Jack and Peg, hearing stories about the glory days and indulging in Peg’s unparalleled baked goods

At Western, you receive a Bronze W award if you play on the first team for a minimum of 3 years. I was given mine exactly 25 years after my Dad earned his

I didn’t know it at the time, but this would be my last appearance as a Mustang on court, so it’s fitting it was in London. Ankle braces in tow, but I was ecstatic to be on court again! #ThatHeadbandTho

Last Athletic Banquet -  always a fun time with old and newer friends. Miss you all (and that buffet!!!!) already

I found a family on the squash team, but was also unbelievably lucky that my squash family included a member of my real life family. My sister Madison is my inspiration and I will always look up to her. Literally and figuratively – she may be younger but she happens to be much taller. Still trying to convince her to move to Vancouver with me, any help will be greatly appreciated!!! I told her she could keep kicking my butt out there but apparently that’s not enough (she’s been able to beat me for years, probably getting bored of it)

[aroundtheworldinsearchofcoke]

Day Twenty-Four: Under London

https://aroundtheworldinsearchofcokev.blogspot.com/2019/07/day-twenty-four-under-london.html

St. Pancras – or to use it’s full name, St. Pancras International – resides among crowded real estate. Right across the road is one of London’s other major rail terminals – Kings Cross – and it’s just down the road from yet another at Euston. The reason for this was a phenomena known as Railway Mania, in which dozens and dozens of railway companies sprung into existence in Britain – the Midland Railway (St. Pancras) wasn’t about to ask for access to Great Northern Railway (Kings Cross) track, nor that of the London and North Western Railway (Euston).

Today, St. Pancras serves as Britain’s rail gateway to Europe, by way of the Eurostar high-speed train through the Channel Tunnel. As a result, it is one of the busiest in the city of London, and is served by no less than six Underground lines – on paper. In reality, although all of these lines serve the same station in theory, they’re often quite a hike a way from each other. The walk to the so-called sub-surface lines is a long one indeed, going right under Kings Cross to the other side of the complex. This is where I began my expedition this morning.

If you can find a Tube map, you should bring it up. You may want to follow along.

The first train I boarded was on the Metropolitan Line, the oldest underground railway line in the world – it opened in 1863, using steam power. This naturally caused problems and was thus electrified at the turn of the century. It’s called a sub-surface line (or a cut-and-cover line) because it is pretty much right below the surface – the builders literally dug up the street, built a railway line, and then covered it up again. In the modern day, there is very little difference between the Metropolitan and the other sub-surface lines – they use the same ultra-modern S-stock trains introduced a few years ago. They are smooth-riding, air-conditioned and comfortable, but one misses the older trains they replaced. They smelt, they were loud, they were hot, and they had character.

I went as far as Euston Square on this train – one stop down the line – and then changed to the Hammersmith and City line to Baker Street, which still retains much of its Victorian character. I got off there to wait for a Circle line train to carry on… and wait… and wait… and wait…

Thoroughly browned off, I eventually got in another Hammersmith and City line train to Edgware Road to try finding a Circle line train there, and as luck would have it, there was one on the very next platform. We passed Paddington – this is another famous London termini – this time for the Great Western Railway – and will one day be a key stop on Crossrail (or the Elizabeth Line, as they call it) – it’s also nearly completely on the surface, giving a rare moment of (cloudy) sunlight on this voyage.

The Circle took me to High Street Kensington, where I swapped trains again to the District line. I reached Earl’s Court, changed to another District train heading towards Tower Hill (despite being a ‘line’, the District has a bewildering number of branch lines) and finally got off at Victoria (yet another terminus – this one for shared by the South Eastern and Chatham and London, Brighton and South Coast Railway). Here I left the sub-surface and went down into the Deep Tube.

Here I boarded the Victoria line, perhaps appropriately. This is one of the newer Tube lines, constructed in the late 1960s. It is also the line I most rarely use, although I can’t really fathom why. There’s nothing wrong with it, the stock (2009-stock) is fairly modern – I suppose there’s just always a better route from where I happen to be.

This was the beginning of what I shall call a series of one-stop ‘hops’ – I got off at Green Park, near Buckingham Palace, and swapped to the Jubilee line, the newest on the network – it opened in 1979. As a result, it is probably the least exciting, yet it’s rarely too busy either. At Bond Street I changed trains again to the Central line. The Central line is always, always, always packed – probably because it runs right through the middle of both the City and Westminster, past the big banks and corporations. As a result, despite its vintage (1900), it’s probably my least favourite of the Deep Tube lines.

No matter, I was off it after one stop – Oxford Circus. I proceeded to the Bakerloo line – definitely my favourite. The aesthetic is perfect – the old, somewhat hazy stations; the smell; the trains, the oldest remaining on the network (1972-stock). It feels like an old noir movie or 1930s film. Alas, my time on the Bakerloo (so named because it connected Baker Street and Waterloo) was short – I got off at Piccadilly Circus.

From there, it was the Piccadilly line – which uses the almost-as-elderly 1973-stock. It was a quick hop to Leicester Square – realistically I could have walked, but I had no intention of leaving the Underground until I was done. At Leicester Square, I swapped to the Northern line, the oldest of the Deep Tube lines (the first section was opened in 1890.) From there, it was – appropriately – northbound, past Tottenham Court Road, past Goodge Street, past Warren Street, past Euston (not to be confused with Euston Square), until I reached my final destination…

I understand most of you are probably a bit confused. Mornington Crescent is something of an old in-joke – it gave its name to a spoof game show in the 1970s, in which contestants improvised stupidly complicated rules to the ‘game’ of Mornington Crescent; it basically amounted to shouting Tube stations randomly un til somebody got to Mornington Crescent and ‘won.’ It was also well known for being closed at weird times, although in recent years that hasn’t been the case, and for being a bit hard to get to (as you need to get on a specific branch of the Northern line.) Basically, Mornington Crescent is an object of great affection for rail and underground enthusiasts.

That meant it had to be the end of the line. Here I was, at the end of a journey that had taken me on every single regularly-operating tube lune on the network (the Waterloo and City is closed on Sunday and also doesn’treallycount), without visiting any stations or lines twice. How did I feel?

There was a strange sense of anti-climax, once the novelty of Mornington Crescent wore off. I was standing in a tube station, totally alone, looking at a station sign. I was hot, thirsty and sweaty from the humidity of the Deep Tube. I had completed this task that I had wanted to do for as long as I remembered, and perhaps in doing so, some of the magic of the ideawore off. What had I actually done?

I had ridden some trains, most of which were basically modern, past what was essentially a bunch of names with no real context. A lot of the old characterof the Underground of my mind – the dirty old trains on the Circle and District lines, the endless procession of buskers in the tunnels, the eccentric opening times for the various stations – they’re mostly gone now. Perhaps much of my ‘old Tube’ never really existed. Such is the power of nostalgia.

I travelled back to Oxford Circus, in silence for the most part. The trains (I had to change to the Victoria at Euston) rattled and rumbled, screeching on the curves, and all the masses of people around either stared at the paper or the map printed above them. Nobody looked around. Nobody took interest in what, to them, was just another aspect of life. And yet I was gripped by thoughts of the glimpses of mystery in the tunnel – strange lights, mysterious doors, tracks that led nowhere, brickworks covering closed stations. I wondered what secrets might lay beyond them, waiting to be discovered.

And you know what? I hope I never find the answer. The fictional ideas I form around them are far too exciting for that.

---

And no, before you ask, I didn’t spend all day riding public transport.

After my voyage, I headed to Hamleys, because why the heck wouldn’t you go to Hamleys? It’s Hamleys. I bought a goods wagon and Bentley car for my layout, and then walked to Trafalgar Square. I recuperated from my experience there with a coke, and then went to the National Portrait Gallery.

Some people thing portraits are boring. These people are wrong and they suck, but they think that and free speech is a thing. Portraits reveal so much about people – artist, subject and the world they lived in. For example, the portraits of the Plantagenet kings in the gallery, painted long after their deaths and more based on Shakespeare than reality (which sucked for poor old Richard III.) Or you might look at the paintings of Charles II and William III, and compare the man who revelled in luxuries and riches and the man who revelled in soldiery and battle. It shows how much things have changed, too – the image of female beauty changing from plumpness to rail-thin stomachs, the rise and fall of military heraldry and dress; there’s a magnificent portrait of Clive of India in one room, and a plain bust of Nehru, one of those who tore down all he made, in another. Backgrounds go from plain, stoic black to sweeping panoramas of battle and lush landscapes. I’d recommend a visit – see it for yourself, make your own impressions.

Plus it’s free.

After that, it was off for home, where I write this now. It’s been a long day; tomorrow we do very little, before on Tuesday we set out west on the next stage of this adventure…

No, not to America. To the West Country.

[sonicboomtube]

Sonic Mania Review

Sonic Mania was the most anticipated Sonic title since Generations due to it not only being in the Classic Sonic style but as well as looking like an old school Genesis game! Is it worth the hype?

Background:  Despite the Adventure, Advance, and Rush series, Sonic games that came out since were mediocre to down right atrocious.  Things seemed to turn around in the main series with Sonic Unleashed (not counting night time stages) and Colors.  The 2.5/3D platforming action proved to be a success and by Sonic's 20th Anniversary came Sonic Generations. This game brought in Classic Sonic along with his gameplay style.  Many say it and Colors are the best Post-Adventure games ever.

Then they changed it up in Sonic Lost World and Sonic Boom trying to fix what wasn't broken.  Both games did not sell very well and the latter was even considered worse than Sonic 06.  Sonic was once again a laughing stock of the video game industry.  SEGA did some rebranding the last couple years and they came back with an announcement of 2 new Sonic games.  Sonic Forces, which has similar gameplay to Generations with a new gimmick and one that fans been asking for many years, Sonic 4!  Well, it's not called Sonic 4 but it's a game that is worthy of that name.  This is Sonic Mania!

Sonic fans turned pro Christian Whitehead and his Retro Engine and Stealth to help create a new Genesis styled game.  Christian and Stealth previously worked on Android/iPhone ports of Sonic 1, 2 & CD and thanks to their success, were hired to work on this game.

Story:  Sonic & Tails return to Angel Island as they sense a big energy reading there.  They encounter Dr Eggman (Robotnik's) new line of robots, the Hard Boiled Heavies and they retrieve a mysterious ruby from underground.  Then the ruby transports them (and Knuckles who encounters the robots shortly after Sonic and Tails) to Green Hill Zone.  I am not sure if they transport to the old zones' timeline or if it's just locations.  The storytelling is light since the gameplay is the focus.  Like Sonic 3, the story advances within the game.

 Graphics/Music:

The direction for the look and sound was to be a lost 32X/Saturn game and they have truly accomplished it!  The animated cutscenes at the opening and ending are wonderful.  Tyson Heese, who drew Archie's Sonic comics, also penciled these and it looks beautiful!  Hyper Potions did the music too for the intro and trailer and is amazing!

The remix zones' look wonderful and even smoother than the Genesis version. The original zones look gorgeous as well! The special stages look like they are from a lost Saturn game.  The animations in the characters, objects, and scenery are flawless!  The frame rate is perfect and having the game in widescreen really makes a difference as it is easier to see what is in front of you.  You can even add a CRT filter to get that nostalgic look of a 90s TV screen! 

Generally, the music in the Sonic franchise is top notch and in Mania, it is no different. As with the visuals of the retro zones, the remix of zone's themes are as you remembered it but has more of a kick to it! The new zones sound great too like the jazzy Studiopolis, the western feel of Mirage Saloon, and the peaceful melody of Press Garden!  They even released the soundtrack on Vinyl!  It's that good!

 Gameplay: If you have played the Classic Sonic games, then you'll feel right what home with Sonic Mania!  The complaints about the games that tried to copy the classic gameplay style fell short of the Genesis days. (Sonic 4's floating physics, Sonic Rush's boost to win, Sonic Advance's bottomless pits, Sonic Generations scripted speed thru certain sections.)  Fear not, all the controls are tight and not only exactly as you remember it, but in my own opinion are more refined.  It has a good balance of speed and platforming.  Playing the remix of the Genesis Zones while in part, are similar to the old games, feel fresh with new mechanics like in Chemical Plant Zone, bouncing off of colored floors to get to new heights or in Green Hill with the fire shield, can burn some bridges to get to new paths below.  The new zones are also among the series' best. Studiopolis is one of my favorites of this game,.

The zones are also non linear so you can take any path you want to get to the end and it is also required to explore if you want to find special rings, hidden items, and shortcuts. Every character plays well thru each zone.  The new move, Drop Dash helps keep your momentum of speed and also makes it easier to avoid enemy attacks.  Knuckles can smash thru walls that Sonic and Tails can't to find more hidden goodies and shortcuts.  What I like about Tails & Knuckles in this game is they can't just glide/fly thru a level with no problem.  Yeah, it helps get you thru a bit faster but the game forces you not to take the cheap way out thru the whole experience.

The bosses are some of the series best.  Mini bosses return at the end of Act 1. Act 2, you fight a hard boiled heavy, Robotnik, or a surprise challenge.  Some of the classic bosses have a new twist as well.  For example, the Death Egg Robot showing up at Green Hill Zone throwing bombs and extending it's arms to try and kill you or using Robotnik's machine from Hydro City in Sonic 3 against him.

 Extras:

The bonus stages are the blue sphere rounds you can access if your have 25+ rings and hit a checkpoint. Half are straight from Sonic 3 and others are completely new.  They aren't required to beat the game or give you the true ending but they give you medals to help unlock extras.  I consider myself really good at these in Sonic 3 but some of the newer rounds were still a challenge.  If you unlock blue sphere mode, if you play the Mania style, you get two new spheres. One is to teleport you to different parts of the round.  A green sphere is like the blue one but you have to run over it twice to turn red.  

The new special stages are found throughout the levels as giant rings like in Sonic 3 but the difference is instead of turning blue spheres into red spheres/rings, you have to chase a UFO by running over the blue objects.  They fill a speed meter and can go up to Mach 3.  Collecting rings increase the time of the stage. The control is a little stiff with the drifting but it isn't impossible though it is easy to bounce off things, fall off course, and run into spikes if you aren't careful.  The trick is to find shortcuts and try to collect as many spheres early on.

You can also play the UFO stages via a level select code and extras menu if you need to practice.  The good news is if you beat the game without getting all of the Chaos Emeralds, you can go back to your save file and keep the emeralds you have and retrieve the rest in the next run.

Other extras you can unlock are playing Mean Bean Machine, Time Attack, sound test, and debug mode. You can also play in different gameplay styles (2, 3, and CD.) You can also use the insta-sheild and super peel out but like debug mode, you have to select no-save mode.  Its unfortunate for the & Knuckles mode but you can have Knuckles as the 2nd player for each player (and that includes Knuckles himself! Make sure you beat the game as Knuckles & Knuckles to get secret ending)

 Spoiler After getting all 7 Chaos Emeralds, you can become Super Sonic, Super Tails (though doesn't have Flickies with him this time), and Super Knuckles.  If you beat Titanic Monarch as Sonic with 7 Chaos Emeralds, you get to fight Eggman and the main Hard Boiled Heavy fighting over the ruby.  You must keep collecting rings to stay alive.  You lose rings if you get attacked or do a boost attack.  It took me a bit to figure out how to play it but it's not too difficult but it is cool being part of an epic battle. Something about that ruby and the pose Sonic makes at the end of the good ending looks familiar.  Hmmmm!

The Positives/Negatives of the Game:

+High replay value with multiple paths, collecting chaos emeralds, unlocking extras, and playing as all 3 characters +Very tight controls with great balance of speed and platforming +New moves like the drop dash are a welcome addition +Old zones feel new again with never before seen sections and challenges +New zones feel right at home with the classic era.  Some of the series best +Music as always is top notch. +The majority of the bosses are some of the best of the classic era +The Easter Eggs +Blue Spheres and Mean Bean Machine are back +Sprite cutscenes and the Opening/Closing Animations are gorgeous

=Oil Ocean is one of my least favorite zones of the classic eras and would have preferred if they chose a different zone but the remix is an excellent rendition of it. =Wish there were more in game cut scenes between zones than what we got but what we got was wonderful. =I was happy with the amount of new zones we got and their quality but I wish there were one or two new zones.  Oh well, maybe next game we can get more new zones.

-You still fall for some cheap deaths.  Thankfully there aren't many bottomless pits like in certain Sonic games but it's very easy to get crushed to death (chemical plant and titanic monarch are the ones where it happened often for me) -While I liked the challenge of the special stages, I felt the controls should feel a bit tighter when turning. -Some of the bosses were tough to figure out how to beat.  Some of it was rewarding when i did find a way to defeat them.  There were a couple I had to look at let's play vids to figure it out.  Like in Sonic & Knuckles, playing as Knux was difficult fighting against the bosses thanks to the height of his jumps.

Closing Thoughts:

Even the negative points of the game didn't really bother me that much and in no way, tarnish the quality of the experience.  Some fans even claim that it is the best Sonic game to date!  I am not sure if I agree with that but I do like it more than Sonic CD which was my #2 favorite Sonic game of all time and can understand why some fans place it #1!  Whether you are a die hard Sonic fan, a causal player, or a noob, this is the game for you!  I have really enjoyed this game and will come back and replay it as often as I can!  

Sonic Mania gets 4 3/4 STARS out of 5!  (9.5 out of 10 for those that score in 10s.  A- that like letter grades.)  See you next game!

[soycrates]

Tonight I played and completed a game called Jīzasu: Kyōfu no Baio Monsutā that was released on the Nintendo Famicom as Jesus: Kyōfu no Bio Monster. The game was originally made for a variety of Japanese home computer series in the 80′s (so old and foreign to me that none of the computer names are even remotely recognizable).

Why did I download this game? To be honest, I wanted to know what kind of Japanese NES title about space horror was named after Jesus. The concept seemed like a good goldmine for humor and novelty, but I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did.

What is the plot of this game? You play as a Japanese... space... warrior? Your career is kind of confusing to parse from the English translation (note: the translation was not bad, I’m just always worried some nuance gets lost) but they throw around words like “space warrior” a bunch. Your name is Musou Hayao, and you are part of 1 of 2 teams sent to investigate Halley’s Comet. The space lab you’re stationed on, named Jesus, has detected some sort of life force from inside the comet. With hopes that this life force will give some new breakthrough in the field of xenobiology (possibly the origins of life itself?) you’ll embark on your journey.

The two teams are comprised of an interesting and multicultural crew; there’s the Chinese doctor, the German captain, an American xenobiologist, a French Mathematician, an Italian computer engineer, a Russian (well, “Soviet” - this game was made in the 80s) captain, and a Brazilian astronomer. 

The french mathematician also happens to be your girlfriend (though maybe unofficial relationship right now), and a talented musician (well, aren’t we lucky!) and rockin’ some killer 80′s style.

Your girlfriend is heading to the comet on boarding ship 1, which leaves 2 weeks before your ship is scheduled to head out. You can talk to her and her weird robot roomba, and the other crew, before boarding time.

When you arrive at the comet... Boarding Ship 1 is sending out a distress signal, and your commanding officer sends you down for inspection. You walk around empty halls looking for the missing crew, among them - obviously - your beloved. You locate her robo-roomba named Fojii, who helps you navigate the ship.

Then things REALLY start shakin’ up!

How is the gameplay? Jesus plays like an adventure game in the vein of Space Quest: you explore rooms in the ship, collecting clues and items necessary to advance the story. There were many points in the game where I had to actually use my brain, connect the dots, and find what I needed in order to succeed. However, there were also points in the game where I just got fucking stuck with no clue how to proceed, and had to backtrack through every room in the entire roomy spaceship looking for scraps of paper I missed or some sort of plot trigger. Halfway through what I’d call the “second act” I looked up a Long Play on youtube, skip to the last thing I did, see what they did next in the video, then pause it and try to figure it out myself from that point on. 

The problem solving is not always intuitive, and at certain points felt really unfair. But powering past its biggest weaknesses, Jesus carried on with a really sweet (if at this point in history, cliche) science fiction horror plot. The game was first released in ‘87, which predates a lot of movies that it reminded me of.

Why do I feel the need to talk about this game? I play too many video games, many of which I don’t write reviews of. Many of them newer titles with good graphics, engaging story, fun combat, etc. I also played a lot of NES games when I was a kid: my grandparents had one at their home, and my fondest memories are being excited to go and play Yoshi’s Cookie with Nana, or play Gauntlet with my sister - who was always the wizard and I, always the warrior. We had a Sega Master System at our own house, too, with a lot of games only loosely altered for a Western audience. Games that never made it to a Western audience or struggled with one are oddly satisfying for me.

But to round back to the major point: as many older games as I’ve played, I never felt quite as touched by their stories as I did upon completion of Jesus. All the characters had just enough personality and you were given just enough time to bond with them to make their fates special. The drama and mystery I encountered really captured me! It developed slowly, over time, with just enough suspense to actually make me feel frightened with anticipation.

The 80′s anime art style was tight as hell, and the way they drew the monster (spoiler: there’s a monster!) was super eerie during certain scenes. The music was enjoyable for most of the game, although there are parts during the first examination of the ship that sound like nails being scratched on a chalkboard. I hate to make excuses for the game or say “it gets better”, but that’s exactly what I’m doing here when I say that if you can get past the grating noises in those few scenes, you’re in for a real treat.

I highly encourage others to download a rom of Jesus: Kyōfu no Bio Monster, but for those aren’t interested in playing it themselves, the Long Play (linked above) can give you a full run of the game. Additionally, I’ve put some of my favourite frames of the game under the cut (spoilers ahead):

It never gets old that the base is names Jesus. Set sail for Jesus!

Empty Cryo-Pods for maximum sci-fi.

The monster attacks!

The doctor is hurt! Isn’t it ironic, dontcha think?

This frame, in which the monster is killing your captain, was so badass.

Look at that shading! The colour choices! So cool.

In the cryo-pod, talking with the monster who has gained intelligence.

Hiding in the cryo-pods with your girlfriend, weighing the options.

Your girlfriend writes you a song at the beginning, AND GUESS WHAT

YOU HAVE TO PLAY THAT SONG (8 notes of it) in order to defeat the monster. I did not see this coming at all and I would have been totally screwed without the video walkthrough, even though they shoved the song in my face a hundred times. It was maybe 3/4ths through the game I was starting to suspect that music would be involved in killing the monster.

It’s not magical or anything, he just really hates the Synthesizer. 

You jettison the monster off after a really touching moment with the dead crew. Then you spoon with your girlfriend, knowing that someday the monster might come back in Halley’s Comet again. You’re ready to launch the anti-Halley defense force when you get back to Earth.

Also, your girlfriend’s sweater is really cute. 

[basketballandbs-blog]

The Finals: The Preview: Cleveland vs. Golden State: The Threetening

Okay y'all, we're FINALly (sorry about that I couldn't resist) here. After 2,460 regular season games and just about two and a half months of playoffs we now have our two combatants that will be battling it out for basketball supremacy. Annnnnnd it's the same two combatants that have battled the previous two championships. Don't worry, I'm not one of those silly blowhards that will try to convince you that having the same two teams meet for a third consecutive Finals is a bad thing although I will say that I find it ironic that the same folks that are pushing this line of thought grew up romanticizing the Celtics vs. Lakers rivalry of the 80s. Anyway, there I go again getting sidetracked. In all honesty, what more can you ask for? The best basketball player on the planet going against a team stacked with two former MVPs and one of the best defenders in the game. So please excuse me if I'm not willing to buy into the potentially boring Finals talk.

Cleveland and Golden State took almost identical paths to get here. Cleveland was a bad LeBron game from completely sweeping the East as they ran through Indiana and Toronto in the first two rounds unscathed before dropping game 3 in the Eastern Conference Finals before closing Boston out. Golden State caught the break of a lifetime (ew, poor taste?) in San Antonio losing arguably their top two guys in Kawhi Leonard in Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals in addition to Tony Parker who had been out of the playoffs since Game 2 against Houston in the previous round. This made them a lock to dispatch the Spurs after first and second round sweeps of Portland and Utah respectively. There are some quality opponents here people. Here's the thing though, both the Cavs and Dubs are playing at the top of their games and so high above everyone else that it made their already inadequate opposition look downright incompetent. Folks, don't listen to the hype, this is gonna be a blast of a series.

Cavs will win if they……….

Can get LeBron to not only repeat his performance from last year’s Finals but surpass it. This is by no means downplaying his 30-11-9 line he put up in the series last year (especially those final three games) but facing a team hellbent on revenge armed with…….oh I guess you can say a little extra firepower he's going to have to in the words of a well known TV chef kick it up a notch. And it's not to say he can't, As I stated earlier he's torn through the East throughout the playoffs averaging 32-8-7 shooting 56% from the floor and 42% beyond the arc. If he can shoot like this and more or less control the pace of the game we may be in for one of if not the finest performance in Finals history. I know, blasphemy but as a huge MJ fan and a guy that romanticizes that era and particularly the era before his rise game just has to recognize game (sorry JB). His ability to read the floor and when to flip the dominate or facilitate switch will be the very thing that all of Cleveland's success will be built on. Hey, but we all know that you can't win a championship completely on the back of one person, right?

So this is where the play (most importantly the shot making ability) of the rest of the Cavs comes so heavily into play. After struggling with his efficiency in the first two rounds Kyrie Irving got back on track in the ECF reminding folks that he's a closer too he comes in averaging 24 points and 6 assists on 46% shooting and a decent 35% from deep. Kevin Love has quite possibly been the most consistent Cav next to Lebron putting up 17 and 10 per contest while nailing almost half of his threes. Tristan “TrashGawd” Thompson has been well…….effective averaging almost a double double and has improved his free throw shooting making him slightly less of a liability late in games when the Cavs will need someone in the middle.

After that, it's all about dudes hitting shots. Luckily, this has been far from a problem for them especially on the bench. J.R. Smith, Iman Shumpert, Kyle Korver, Channing Frye and Deron Williams have all hit well above 40% of their triple during this offseason. However, this is the part where I have to mention that it'll be a bit harder to accomplish this go around. Also, the Finals has to be a time were you shore up any weaknesses you may have or at least try to gameplan around them. With that said it hard to believe Cleveland has a chance in this if they can't make a huge leap on defense. You know, because the team they're facing? Yeah, they can kinda shoot the rock too. This rarely has presented a true issue for them as they have been so damned good at simply outscoring their opponents up until now. Excuse me for stating the obvious but that ain't gonna work here. An emphasis must be placed on stopping Golden State here. Either by scheme (most likely) or by brute force (least likely) they have to get this done because a failure to do so not only jeopardizes their ability to repeat as champs it may result in this getting ugly.  

Warriors will win if they……….

Will continue to play as confident, controlled and cohesive as they have most of the season and completely throughout the playoffs. Normally this would be where I state where (or should I say who) this would start and end with. But here's the thing about the Dubs, they have three guys who can take the reigns while you run yourself silly trying to stop the bleeding from all the daggers being hurled into your chest. So, let's play a game of Pick! Your! Poison! First up we have Stephen Curry, who you may recognize as a 2-time back to back MVP. During this postseason Mr. Curry is averaging 28 points, 5 rebounds and 5 assists while currently being apart of the ever so coveted 50-40-90 club with his shooting splits of 50-43-90. Known to many as the baby faced assassin, when he gets rolling he can absolutely eff your night up! Second we have a NEW edition to the group but please don't mistake that for a lack of ability to obliterate you team at a moment's notice. Kevin Durant comes to the Bay Area after a very celebrated stint in Oklahoma City (sorry Celly) where he was the recipient of an MVP himself. He's checking into the Finals clocking a line of 25-8-4 while within sniffing distance of the club that Mr. Curry is currently apart of with splits of 55-42-87. Mr. Durant is arguably the most lethal all-around scorer in the league and with his long 6'9” frame he can make scoring on him equally as difficult as it is to stop him from scoring. Last but not least we have Draymond Green, who boasts the most impressive all-around game not only on this stacked squad arguably in the entire league. A defensive juggernaut with a sweet shot Mr. Green will go heads up with the Cavs averaging 14-9-7 with a pair of steals and blocks. And about that sweet shooting Mr. Green's shooting splits for the playoffs has been 50% from the floor and 47% from deep. So what's it gonna be? Door 1, 2 or 3? Either way thanks for playing Pick! Your! Poison! For you are fucked!

Yeah, pretty rough isn't it? Now look back on those numbers and factor in that two of these series were against teams that boasted top 5 defenses (okay, I know the Kawhi thing definitely slowed the Spurs down but their defense is still pretty gotdamn good). And we haven't even started to talk about the cadre of role guys that is one of the only groups in the league that can match up with Cleveland's second unit on both sides of the ball. I definitely hate to mention him here but Klay Thompson despite struggling mightily on the offensive side of the ball has been an ace defender throughout the playoffs for the Dubs. Andre Iguodala, while slowing a bit is still their best bench defender and is still effective on that end for extended minutes as he is playing 25 per night in the postseason. Also still providing quality minutes off the bench is David West averaging 4-3-3 and Shaun Livingston chipping in 4-3-2. But what's probably the biggest boon for them off the bench has been the production of the newer guys. Ian Clark has wowed not only me but many with his play of late. His 8 points per night and 40% from deep has provided a much needed spark while the Dubs spell their main guys. Patrick McCaw is not to be left out here either. The rookie has been great for them as he has been good for 5 points per night and nearly 40% from deep. However, the young McCaw has especially been recognized for his defensive prowess. And last but not least we have JaVale McGee. Despite still being pretty lunk headed and lost at times it would appear the his rehabilitation project has been quite the success. When Zaza Pachulia isn't lurching around and doing goon stuff McGee has provided a more mobile and better offensive option in the post as he's tallied 7 points per night on a whopping 74% from the floor.

So this is where we get real and talk about Golden State's need to nail all of the intangibles. That they can't afford to look aloof, stunned then overwhelmed which was the tenor of the final half of last year's series with Cleveland. And there is the high probability that chasing Cleveland off of the three point line and putting in so much work at the rim to defend them will surely tire the Dubs' main guys possibly making them a little less effective on the offensive end. They have the bodies for sure but they will need to be very deliberate in how and who they choose to defend James. And for heaven's sake try to find the perfect balance for Draymond Green to be the scenery chewing irritant that he's the best as opposed to the easily frustrated dude that catch an ejection or worse a suspension that may end up costing them the series. But it's not like anything like that has ever happened before. My point is, last year's result was almost as much mental as it was physical. And this is not to that Golden State is not a mentally tough team, all I'm saying is that if they can completely win it on the court they should.

H.B. says…………..Warriors in 6