#to saying anything!!!!!! especially when I would not be terribly comfortable being affectionate in front of other people like

[sailorsleepymoon]

Latest news in being a person with anxiety is wanting the same thing as someone else but being anxious about why they want it

[boywriters-blog]

So…is it ok to request some Yandere dethklok x reader headcanons?

Dethklok/Reader hcs

of course it is!! thank you for the request!! very excited for my first metalocalypse request heheh o(^▽^)o + added charles for silly ^_^

warning: death (no major characters obviously)

Nathan:

-when he’s obsessed he is OBSESSED

-he will do anything you want him do, genuinely

-being Nathan’s partner is hard work, not just because he’s high maintenance, but because he’s the lead singer of dethklok, everyone in the world knows who he is

-if anyone hurts you? a klokiteer or himself will deal with it

-you will know when he kills someone for you , he tried to hide it but he’s not very good at it

-“what happened to ____?”

-“what-?- i don’t know who you’re talking about- i never met anyone with that name- hey- wanna go have like- sex or something??” he would desperately try to change the topic, he’s visibly nervous, a terrible liar

-you drop it but note the way he reacted

-next time it happens he tries to distract you by pampering you, would even go as far as to eat you out / give you head

-when you finally fully realize what’s up and see it happen for yourself, you aren’t freaked out, i mean, thousands of people die every time they preform a concert

-tbh you find it really sweet, especially since most people he’s killing are total dildos

-he stills prefers to not do it in front of you , but occasionally if they did something to really fuck you up he’ll try to make you feel better by letting you watch

-would definitely write a song about it, i mean it’s super brutal how could he not

Pickles:

-he probably doesn’t even know he’s doing it at first because he’s so shitfaced all the time

-he also doesn’t realize you KNOW and that you’ve known since the beginning, the first time he killed someone for you, he accidentally did it in front of your face

-he was too shitfaced to remember

-you didn’t say anything at first because you always liked him, you thought it was sweet in a brutal way, and the guy deserved it he was a creep

-you didn’t see the next few times, but he started acting a bit differently around you, a little more suspicious and like he’s hiding something

-he ends up confessing it to you in a drunken state, but he sobers up pretty quickly once he realizes what he said

-if you make him promise to not hurt anyone who didn’t absolutely deserve it, he will just be so grateful you’re not angry at him

-definitely more affectionate with you afterwards

-strengthens your relationship tbh

Toki:

-dude he would be so nervous the entire time about you finding out

-would never do it himself , always has a klokiteer do it

-wouldn’t tell you or hint at it

-he would only kill people that were pieces of shit dildos, he would send the rest to the dethklok prison

-he confesses everything out of guilt, he confesses the way he enjoyed beating the shit out of people who deserved it, especially after they did something to you or got too close to you

-you comfort him because he didn’t do anything inherently morally wrong, and he’s overjoyed and relieved

-he would probably hug you for a long time, like a cuddle, with a few kisses

-you make him promise to not do it again, not only for your sake, but for his too

-he never leaves your side after that

Skwisgaar:

-i’m honestly so 50/50 abt him

-i feel like he wouldn’t try to hide it, but it’s just hidden somehow

-he doesn’t act any different, he acts extremely casual, you don’t notice any difference in his behavior around you, maybe a little more touchy but you assumed it was just you growing closer

-definitely holds your lower back in an over protective kinda way

-would very casually mention it in conversation like “oh ja , ams killst thats guys”

-you would have to do a double take and like interrogate him , he would admit everything but only to you

-he doesn’t want the others to think he’s like super gay or anything for killing these people for you

-they do not care but he’s self conscious

-would move on like nothing happened and tbh so did you, it wasn’t bothersome so why worry?

-clingy cuddles from him later frl

William:

-he probably tells you to be honest

-he’s proud of it

-wants you to be proud of him too

-you sigh and ask him how many people he killed

-he shrugs, he genuinely lost count, but he looks up at you with these puppy dog eyes that you can’t resist

-you groan and roll your eyes

-“okay fine, whatever, just at least try to make sure they’re a complete dildo beforehand, okay??”

-“shhurrrre okay”

-he would he attached at your hip for the end of time

-very VERY touchy, like has to be touching you at all times, likes to show you off as his

Charles:

-you have no fucking idea what’s going on

-he makes them all look like accidents

-he’s a little more affectionate than normal after he does it, but excuses it with being tired

-went on for a while before you even had an IDEA of anything happening

-he will not tell you, you have to find out yourself

-once you do, you wait for a while to confront him, study him and his actions

-you start to recognize when he did something and that’s when you confront him

-he lowkey begs for you to stay, he would apologize for everything, and get down on one knee while apologizing

-you could never say no to that face so you stay of course

-pampers you with gifts and quality time

oh my god babes i’m so sorry for the couple days of nothing from me 💔

life is weird rn but i will get back to work on the requests immediately!

never be afraid to request!

much love,

Mooshi <3

[comfortabletogether]

2nd time again sorry but can write DRA another girls and then have a situation where there S/O keep accidentally hugging them when they go to be wake them up

if I’m being completely honest, I think I terribly misunderstood this prompt. I interpreted it as a S/O who randomly hugs the girls. So if it’s terribly wrong and you want it fixed feel free to dm me!!

I realize i did read this horribly wrong and I’m sos sorry, I will remake this eventually.

Warnings: Light spoilers

~ Mod Haruhiko ✈️

Kizuna Tomori

⭐️ Kizuna is so touch starved, she doesn’t even know how to react when you first hug her. She just stands there and cries but when you ask she just says that she had something in her eye.

⭐️ Her relationship with you was the first time she had ever been able to open out and be vulnerable, she’ll probably try and shove you off the first few times you try and hug her. But she’ll start accepting them after a little while.

⭐️ Kizuna loves your hugs and after a little bit of time she’ll start to get pissy if you don’t hug her that day.

Kiyoka Maki

🏹 Oh my god! Physical touch is her love language as well! The first time you hug her, she will try and lift you up and spin you around, and spoiler alert! It doesn’t go very well.

🏹 But from this day forward the two of you have an unspoken competition to see who can hug each other the most. And she’s the Ultimate Sharp Shooter. So you are really in for a treat. She’ll commit a lot of sneak attacks

🏹 Kiyoka just loves hugs all around. Unlike Rei, she’ll do it in public without any hesitations. She has no shame when it comes to light PDA.

Akane Taira

🫧 Another touch starved girlie, she also cries when you first hug her because she has barely ever had gotten physically affection from her life as she grew up in an orphanage and then she served Utsuro, someone who wasn’t keen on anything.

🫧 Akane loves you so much and she’ll probably end up copying your mannerisms of constant physical affection. And despite this Akane will always blush a deep red when you hug her.

🫧 Although she loves you to no end, Akane would end up feeling slightly overwhelmed by the affection every so often. But she stilled loved to be my your side even when she feels overwhelmed.

Ayame Hatano

👟 Ayame gets so embarrassed and blush when you first hug her. Despite being hugged a ton platonically. She love you and Ayame just doesn’t know how to handle it.

👟 She had never been good with romance before and she wasn’t good at it starting then either. But Ayame loves when you surprise her with hugs especially on days she’s just feeling overall really down about everything.

👟 Ayame loves when you hug her after a race even after she has already told you not to over and over because she’s sweaty but always do so anyways because you love her and don’t care if she’s a little stinky.

Mikako Kurokawa

🔮 ANOTHER TOUCH STARVED GIRL. Please give Mikako all your love, she deserves it. She won’t cry when you first do it, as she’s become used to hugs thanks to Yamato.

🔮 Mikako will though cry when the two of you are alone in her room. The two do you sitting in comfortable silence and then you just hug her. It sparks a deeply rooted sense of love in her. And she truly just wanted to tell you how much she loves you in the moment.

🔮 But in public Mikako will gladly accept your hugs but will get embarrassed when one of the girls end up teasing her over it. 

Rei Mekaru

🥼 Rei Mekaru will shove you off of her in public the first time you try. And the second. And the third. She loves that you’re physically affectionate but she also says that she was a reputation to uphold and will not let you hug her in public.

🥼 Hug her all you any when it’s the two of you. She will gladly accept them and will very often roll her eye in the mist love struck way possible. But she’ll claim that she only tolerates your affections

🥼 Rei loves you and despite her denials her love for you is very clear. Even though she has an extremely cold exterior fronting.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

WandaNat x Reader : Falling For You

Summary: You finally get everything you ever could’ve wanted.

Covers the “Campfire/Fireplace” square for fall bingo. 

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2,169

* * * * * * 

This was a terrible idea. One you knew you would come to regret agreeing to, but at the moment you were asked to participate, you couldn’t possibly say no.

With the two pairs of gorgeous green eyes staring at you coupled with an annoyingly knowing smirk and an adorable pout, there was no way you could deny their request. 

That’s how you find yourself hiking a trail over fallen leaves, shivers rolling over your body as your two best friends chat away at your side. 

They keep their voices at a low whisper, not allowing you to hear or be a part of their conversation. While you would normally feel some kind of way about it, you’re far too cold to sulk about it.

You furiously run your uncovered hands up and down your arms, hoping the friction of your jacket would warm you up and combat the cold surrounding you. 

Apparently neither of them remembered to check the weather for the day. When you asked Natasha said it was fall and shrugged. 

So you dressed accordingly, jeans, boots, a sweater and a jacket. It isn’t enough. It’s much colder than a normal fall day, instead it feels like the beginning of winter. 

You look down at your feet. The crunch of the leaves beneath your boots is a little louder than usual since the morning dew had frozen, adding a small layer of ice over the dead foliage. 

A huff falls from your lips and you drop your hands, shoving them into your pockets instead. It’s not like your rubbing was doing anything. 

“How much further is this secret destination?” You ask.

Both women look over at you, small frowns on their faces at your tone of voice. You hadn’t meant to snap at them but cold was starting to affect your mood. 

You smile apologetically and Natasha rolls her eyes and chuckles. Wanda knocks her elbow against Natasha’s arm, then moves to your other side.

She wraps her arm around your waist and pulls you close,“ it won’t be much longer detka.” 

“Yeah,” Natasha pulls your hand from your pocket and laces your fingers with hers,“ we’re almost there dorogoy.” 

Detka, dorogoy, lyubov. You have no idea what those words mean but she and Natasha were always calling you them. Sly little smiles would form on their lips when they did and you’d wish you knew why. All they would tell you is that it’s Russian and not a bad thing.

When Natasha squeezes your hand, Wanda lays her head on your shoulder, and you sigh. 

It was things like this that made your friendship with them hard. 

The two of them have been dating since before you even met. You first ran into them at the coffee shop you worked at. They came in and took a seat at a table in the corner and you approached them, almost instantly commenting on how cute they were together. 

Your one comment led to a friendship you couldn’t imagine you’d find with anyone else. Which also led to feelings developing that you fought tooth and nail to reject. 

They first came for Wanda, the younger woman being the first to hangout with you one on one. Her sweet and empathetic behavior and words drew you in like a moth to a flame. 

Then you started spending time with Natasha. Your first hangout was awkward to say the least. You aren’t the most outgoing and Natasha was closed off, it caused very little conversation and very long silences. 

Both of you were tempted to not hangout again without Wanda, but decided to give it one more go. Which is exactly what you needed. You can’t recall how the day started but it ended with you two having a blast at a cat cafe. Your mutual love for the soft purring animal made you close. 

Every second you spent with them made you fall faster. Rejecting your feelings stopped being an option once they’d gotten so strong. Now you try your best to ignore it, though that doesn’t work much either.

Especially not when they’re so affectionate with you like this. 

“Look look, we’re here.” Wanda says, squeezing you excitedly. 

Natasha smiles and shakes her head at her girlfriend’s excitement and as you all turn the curve, your destination now in sight, she looks at you. 

Her smile widens as she watches your eyes brighten. 

To anyone else, a cabin in the woods might not mean much but both women know that to you it's much more than that. A tradition to put it quite plainly.

Your parents made it a point to take you to a cabin when the season changed, wanting you to experience nature and such. 

You hated it at first but it grew to mean so much to you. Not just growing to appreciate nature but also loving every moment spent with your parents, loving the memories you made with them. 

“Wait,” your eyes move from the cabin to Wanda then Nat,“ are we staying here?” 

Pink lips form into the perfect smile and she nods.“ We know you haven’t been in a long time.”

The passing of your parents was rough, without them you never found the will to come to a cabin again even though you’d considered it. When you were finally ready, you didn’t have the time.

Of course you’d shared these thoughts with your best friends and you knew they were listening, but you didn’t think they’d do something about what you told them.

While you were lost in thought, the women were worried. You weren’t saying anything and they couldn’t help but wonder if they’d overstepped. 

Their plan would completely go up in flames if you were uncomfortable with this. 

Swallowing, Wanda unhooks her arm from yours and steps in front of you.“ Y/n, detka, we don’t want you to be uncomfortable so if you don’t want to stay we won’t.”

Her words pull you from your thoughts and you register what she said, which makes you immediately protest. 

“No, no,” you gently grab her hand, squeezing hers and Natasha’s.“ I want to stay I just, was thinking. This is really sweet of you two, thank you.” 

They share a smile, then Wanda excitedly tugs on your hand.“ You haven’t seen the inside yet, come on.” 

With more excitement than you and Natasha combined, Wanda pulls you both to the cabin. She shows you around as if this isn’t her first time being here. You notice she doesn’t mention the bedroom situation but you chalk that up to her excitement and figure there are two bedrooms. 

“This place is beautiful,” you all stop in the living room where you plop down on one of the cozy chairs.“ but I can’t stay. I don’t even have clothes.”

“Oh we took care of that.” Natasha waves you off as she moves off to the side in search of something. 

Wanda answers your confusion.“ What did you think I was doing when I went to your bedroom?”

You nod in understanding, recalling how she stayed behind you and Natasha the whole way down to the car and dipped away to the trunk before you pulled off. 

“Always thinkin of everything huh?” You joke, slouching in your seat. 

Frowning, Wanda comes over to you and reaches down to grab your hands,“ don’t get comfortable here, we’re gonna go sit by the lake and watch the sunset.” She adds a pout and pulls on your hands.

“But it’s so cold out.” You whine, dropping your weight back to make it harder for her to pull you up. 

She doesn’t give up though, continuing and struggling to pull you up. 

A sudden presence appears behind you, the redhead whom you love lowers herself, her mouth right beside your ear.“ Come on dorogoy, we’ll start a fire. Keep you nice and toasty.” Her hand gently rubs your arm and all you can do is nod, seemingly put in a trance by her sultry voice flowing straight into your ear.

Letting up, you allow Wanda to pull you up and you follow the two outside. 

The younger woman laces her fingers with yours as you walk down to the lake. It’s across the trail through a small stretch of trees. 

It’s a welcome sight, seeing the expanse of trees on the other side of the lake and the rocks and logs surrounding a makeshift fire pit. 

You and Wanda sit on a log, taking in the scenery while Natasha set up the fire. The instant you shiver Wanda wraps her arm around you, pulling you into her side and rubbing your arm. You resist the urge to sigh this time, especially when you look over and see the happy smile on her lips. 

The second the fire is lit you feel its warmth added to the body heat coming from Wanda. It knocks the initial chills away, but it’s not until Natasha comes to sit at your other side, that you start to warm up internally. 

She takes your hand, squeezing it as she speaks,“ Y/n there’s another reason we brought you out here.” With a small frown of curiosity you look over at her. Taking a deep breath, she meets your eyes and continues,“ f-for a while now, myself and Wanda have been wondering um,” she stops to collect her words and you’re left utterly shocked.

In the year of you knowing her, not once had you ever seen the redhead look so nervous and be at a loss for words. She is the most badass person you’d ever met and right now a red blush is rising on her cheeks.

“Wondering what?” You decide to turn your attention to Wanda, figuring that Nat could calm down if she weren’t the only center of attention, only to find the brunette is also blushing.“ What is it Wan?” 

Her soft green eyes rise to look into yours and she swallows.“ Well, we figured out that um, we started to feel differently towards you. Like, the feelings we had for each other became feelings that we both had for you.” 

It takes everything in you not to freeze up at her confession. A number of emotions swirl through you and you open your mouth to say something, only to register one particular word.

“Had?”

Wanda’s eyes widen but Natasha answers.“ Have. We currently feel this way about you and we were wondering if you would be interested in being with us?” 

Your face suddenly splits into a grin, one that both women immediately adore seeing.“ Are you being serious?” You ask and they both nod.

All this time you’d been falling for them and it turns out they’d fallen for you too. 

A quiet snicker escapes your lips and you shake your head, earning slightly confused looks from the women.“ You know, if I didn’t have feelings for you two this would’ve been a terrible plan.” 

While you can’t possibly imagine not loving them, you could picture and laugh at the awkwardness that would’ve ensued had you said no and the three of you were stuck up here together. 

“Well I don’t think it would’ve been that bad. We’re still best friends so a little awkwardness maybe but-”

“Nat,” Wanda cuts the redhead off, gaining her attention.“ You’re focusing on the wrong things lyubov.”

It’s then that Natasha addresses the beginning of your statement.“ Wait so you’ll go out with us?” 

Smiling, you nod.“ Yes I will. I’ve never done the whole poly thing but, I’m more than willing to try for you.” You turn your smile to Wanda,“ both of you.” 

They look past you to look at each other, bright smiles exchanged between them. Suddenly Wanda lunges towards you, wrapping you up in a big hug and peppering kiss over your face. 

A snort of a laugh leaves you as she kisses you and you hug her back with one arm, your other still occupied with your hand in Natasha’s. 

“Okay okay Maximoff. I love you too.” You say with another soft laugh.

She pulls back, smiling even brighter. Then a finger curls under your chin and your head is gently turned, eyes meeting another pair of gorgeous green eyes. 

“We love you too detka.” 

Ever so slowly she leans in and kisses you softly. You melt into the kiss, a quiet sigh of content at finally finally being able to do this. And when she pulls away, quickly pecking your lips again, you’re pulled into a kiss with Wanda. 

Her lips are a little softer than Natasha’s and she kisses you with a little more restraint.  

A quiet smack parts your lips and you lean back against Natasha.“ I think I could definitely get used to that.” 

Both women chuckle softly, Wanda leaning back against you and Natasha wrapping both arms around you and the brunette. 

Right there, sandwiched between the two women you love as the heat of the campfire warms you, you’re happy. 

* * * * * *

Taglist: @natasha-danvers @owloftheshadows @yumusak-yastik @blackxwidowsxwife @b-5by5 @fayhar @lostandsearching @iliketozoneout @ecruzsalez 

[multiplefandomsblog]

Hajime x reader x Nagito NSFW and SFW headcanons

request; omg could you please (of course, only if it isn’t a bother) do the polyamorous SFW and NSFW headcanons like you did for kokichi and Shuichi with Hajime and nagito? gn! or fem! reader, please 🛐

Warnings; unedited, minor spoilers, long af, polyamory, anggggsssst, fluff, the timeline is bullshit, voyeurism, praise kink, degradation kink, orgasm denial/edging, cock warming, BDSM, gn!reader, I tried making the reader’s parts gender-neutral, anal, fingering, hair pulling, cum eating, mentions of choking

Note; I feel like I made this more different compared to the Shuichi and kokichi one, but I still hope you enjoyed it nonetheless, thank you for requesting! (i also had so many more things to add, but it was becoming quite long so I had to hold back a bit qwq)

- mod chia

•SFW•

◊ TSUNDERE HAJIME AHHH- I’m so sorry, I just had to.

◊ But yes, Hajime is absolutely the cutest tsundere ever.

◊ It’s especially amusing when you and Nagito both gang up on him, kissing or cuddling him randomly just to see him flustered. You’d both randomly start being super affectionate towards him, turning him red. A thing you and Nagito would do is lean on both sides of his shoulders at the same time, or hug him from the back and front. Maybe some cheek kisses from both sides, he loves those but he won’t tell you that.

◊ I headcanon Hajime to be a protective boyfriend. If he ever found out someone had been rude to you or Nagito, he would throw hands. He is willing to beat up anyone for the two of you, you can’t talk him out of it.

◊ Hajime would get jealous easily, as a result of his insecurity about his talentlessness. If he ever saw an ultimate putting the moves on either of you, he’d probably get uncomfortable and try to pull you away or be extra affectionate.

◊ He gets kind of upset and envious of the ultimates Nagito praises, it makes him wonder if you and Nagito preferred someone else that had talent. So please assure him that he’s everything you both want and more, he needs the confidence and comfort.

◊ If he felt particularly insecure one day, you’d both sandwich him in a cuddle and tell him how important he meant to the both of you. He would refuse at first, saying that he was alright and all, but you two don’t fall for it.

◊ As you two are always there for him, he’s always there for you too.

◊ If he’s ever stressed during a class trial and you or Nagito’s stadium was next to his, he’d instinctually hold hands with either of you, feeling his nerves calm down a bit at the reassuring squeeze. 

◊ He has a sense for when you two are feeling upset, he always knows when something is up because he has a ton of experience himself. So he can recognize all the symptoms because he’s seen them in himself.

◊ Hajime somehow always knows the right thing to say and the best stuff to give to you when you’re feeling down in the dumps. He always reassures you that no matter what, your feelings are valid and that you can always come to him or Nagito when you aren’t feeling like yourself. 

◊ I headcanon that Nagito has some trouble detecting when something is wrong, I feel like he’d be too blinded by how amazing you two were that he’d overlook some symptoms of something wrong, brushing it off. He wouldn’t really think about the fact that you two could have issues in the first place, as a result of him viewing you so highly.

◊ Nagito is a great listener if you ever want to talk, and he will provide the warmest cuddles if you need them. He isn’t great at comforting you or advice, but he will whisper the sweetest things in your ear when you’re feeling insecure. 

◊ Nagito is a pretty thoughtful boyfriend, he remembers everything about the two of you(i.e. Favourite food, flowers, colour, material, etc.) though he can’t even remember to take care of himself. 

◊ He remembers all of the things his loves enjoy, and getting them for you two makes him extremely happy. He spoils you both rotten even though Hajime insists he doesn’t have to, but he does anyway.

◊ Nagito sometimes thinks he intrudes between the relationship with you and Hajime, he has thoughts of leaving the both of you because he thinks your relationship would be better without him. He’d see you two being adorable with each other, and think of how lucky he is to have you two.

◊ Almost too lucky. He worries that his presence in the relationship will somehow harm both of you, he’s convinced that something terrible will happen. So he’s constantly paranoid around the both of you. With everything good that occurs, something terrible follows; That’s his ultimate.

◊ In the early stages of your relationship with him, he’s pretty distant, always trying to edge himself out so you two could be happier together. But you two would notice his behaviour, asking him what was wrong. 

◊ As he explained, your hearts broke from his reason as you both smothered him with love. Hajime would aggressively love him, telling him he shouldn’t think that and that you both would be extremely upset if he had left. 

◊ He’d cry from the affection he’d receive from the two of you, feeling incredibly grateful for the both of you. After that, he’d stop being distant, realizing that he was just being selfish and hurting his loves. He’d realize that he had been doing the opposite of making you guys happy, and all he wants is for you two to be happy.

◊ I headcanon that Hajime and Nagito both have a teensy bit of trouble initiating kisses or contact, you’d have to initiate most of it. Hajime being too awkward and a tad shy, whereas Nagito doesn’t feel worthy of your touch.

◊ Buuuut, Hajime can and will initiate affection if you tease him to the point where he just wants to shut you guys up with his lips. He’d kabedon you guys and everything.

◊ Nagito’s favourite thing to do to you both is cooking and giving gifts. He loves acts of service because it makes him happy to know that he’s making you two happy from what he’s doing. If you let him cook or do anything for you, he’d be extremely happy. All he wants to do is to please the both of you.

◊ It’s cute seeing him dance around in his little apron while he cooks, it leads to one of those rare moments where Hajime initiates a back-hug. You’d join shortly after, not wanting to miss out on the cuddles. Nagito would be pretty surprised, but he’d let you two cling onto him as he kept on cooking with a wide smile on his face.

◊ A thing Hajime unconsciously does is hold your guys’ hands, he doesn’t want you two to wander off and him to lose you. It’s kind of a mom’s instinct.

◊ A thing you like to do is steal both of their clothes, wearing them around the house as if they were yours. The boys love seeing you in their clothes, their hearts just melt from how adorable you look. Hajime would flush and then question you for it,

◊ “Why are you wearing my clothes?” You clenched your hands around his material, bringing it tighter around your body. “Because it smells like you.” Hajime rolled his eyes but didn’t tell you to take it off, “Y-you’re such a perv.” He walked away, “But I’m your perv, right? Right, Hajime??” 

◊ Nagito would question you for it, but for different reasons. “Ah yes, of course, you still look stunning in my garbage hoodie. Speaking of, why are you wearing my trash clothing? I can buy you your own hoodie, you know.” He walked up to you, tugging at the hem of his hoodie you were wearing, “Do you want me to take it off?” You teasingly pouted as Nagito panicked, “N-no! I mean… If you’d like to, it’s your choice. But if you decide to keep it on, I wouldn’t be upset- Hell! I’d never be upse-” You shut him up with a bear hug, “Don’t worry, I’m not even wearing anything underneath this in the first place.” “Oh. Haha, wait wha-”

•NSFW•

◊ I think Hajime secretly loves cockwarming but would never suggest it because he’s afraid you two might think it’s weird. During movies where one of you decide to sit on his lap, all he’s thinking of is sinking his dick inside either of you, walls squeezing around him comfortably.

◊ I headcanon Hajime to be a switch, it depends on his mood if he’d rather be a top or bottom. He goes along with you two are more comfortable with.

◊ I can imagine Hajime tied to the bedpost as you sink down on him, Nagito watching you both with his cock in his hand. Nagito joins after a while, Hajime looked so vulnerable, it’s alright if he’s selfish just this once right? He’d slip himself underneath Hajime, his dick sliding in Hajime’s ass as he cried out pleas and moans. 

◊ Hajime’s eyes would be rolling in the back of his head as you both bounced on and thrusted into him, the pleasure mind-numbing. He’d be drooling from the intense pleasure he received from the both of you, Nagito whispering praises on how good he felt around him whilst you lost your mind writhing and grinding against his dick. 

◊ I headcanon that Hajime wouldn’t really enjoy hardcore degradation, maybe some small stuff to make him submit, but any personal degrading turns him off.

◊ Now, I don’t think this is a popular opinion but, I can see Nagito getting off on degradation. You or Hajime could call him a slut, and he’d be cumming from words alone. He doesn’t really think about whether you truly feel that way about him, he goes into that mindset and he kind of forgets all of it, focusing solely on the pleasure he was giving to you two.

◊ Hajime likes being told he’s making you feel good, it reassures him that you’re actually enjoying it and it’ll get him to go harder and faster.

◊ When Hajime tops, I think Hajime wouldn’t really be a soft or hard dom, he’d just be in the sweet middle spot. He’d never go too far but he wouldn’t be too gentle with either of you. Ultimately, it depends on his mood. For example. If you both had provoked him beforehand to the point he was done, he would go feral and hard dom the shit out of you both, not even giving you a chance to breathe.

◊ It’s kind of hot when you see his face turn red and his neck pop a vein, but it’s even better when he starts releasing all that sexual frustration into you both.

◊ He’d have Nagito on his dick while Nagito sucked the life out of you. Nagito wouldn’t even have enough time to protest, Hajime would already have his tip teasing Nagito’s rim with Nagito’s head pushed down in between your thighs.

◊ He wouldn’t stop thrusting until he came, using you both for his pleasure and his pleasure only(kinda hot ngl). Even when he did feel either of you reach your high, he’ll pull away when you could practically taste it.

◊ He loves edging, the distress on your faces when he pulls away at that last moment gets him off in a sadistic way. 

◊ Though, he would never let you two go without an orgasm unless you or Nagito acted bratty even after the many punishments. He punishes the both of you until you two finally break and submit completely to the point where you had no brat left in you.

◊ Nagito’s praise kink is more giving than receiving, though he will never complain if you did praise him. It makes his heart full when you tell him how good he is, he’s glad he’s making you feel good. You two always make Nagito feel good, so he always makes sure to let you know how good you make him feel.

◊ It’s kind of hot when you see his face turn red and his neck pop a vein, but it’s even hotter when he comes back to release his frustrations into the both of you.

◊ Nagito definitely puts the pleasure of his loves first, he always makes sure you two cum before him. 

◊ Nagito wouldn’t insert his dick in either of you unless you begged for it, he doesn’t think he deserves the pleasure, he prioritizes both of your orgasms first.

◊ Nagito as a bottom would always ask before he could cum, he wants to be good for the two of you and never wants to disappoint you. He doesn’t even think he is worthy of an orgasm himself, so if you said yes, he would hysterically thank you as he gasped and whined from the intense pleasure his orgasm brought him.

◊ Nagito is very vocal during sex, and god bless because I think we all know that Nagito has the breathiest, sexiest moans.

◊ I headcanon Nagito to be the softest dom, I cannot imagine this man degrading or hurting you two in any way. He loves you two too much to hurt you, even if it’s for sexual purposes. Though he may sometimes accidentally(?) overstimulate you at times, losing himself in the moment. 

◊ Nagito as a bottom enjoys any humiliation, degradation, choking or pain you put him through, he loves it all. His sexual reactions are definitely the best, he makes the prettiest moans as you or Hajime insert kanye west loves fingers in his ass, drool trailing down his chin as he arched his back. 

◊ Hajime loves pulling hair as much as Nagito loves having his hair pulled. 

◊ Nagito mostly gets off by watching the two of you fuck, pleasuring himself as he watches the both of you with dilated pupils. You two often have to beckon him to join, eventually resorting to ordering him after his many refusals that you didn’t have to.

◊ A thing Nagito does after sex is licking up every single drop of cum you two had given him, not letting a tiny bit go to waste. He thinks your cum is ‘hopeful’ and it’s precious to him, so he doesn’t want to seem unthankful for the cum you gave him. He makes sure to lap you both up clean, maintaining eye contact as his tongue slides up your guys’ skin.

◊ Hajime’s hard dom demeanour changes completely after sex, however tired he may be, he always makes sure the both of you are alright after the rough treatment he had given the both of you before he passes out. 

◊ Nagito would praise the both of you after sex, holding both of you close as he let you doze off in his arms.

[kaunis-sielu]

Fire Dogs: 4

It turns out that you didn’t break anything just deeply bruised. Steve brings you home and you feel terrible that he’s wasted his whole night on you and your drama.

“Do you wanna stop and pick up something to eat?”

“No, I’ve got dinner planned. As long as you’re okay waiting for dinner.”

“You’re supposed to take it easy.” He reminds you gently.

“Yea, it’s just Spaghetti. Easy.”

“Come on Fawn, you heard Dr. May, you have to take it easy.”

“I’m right handed, I’ll be fine to put some noodles into hot water and heat some sauce.” You argue and he sighs heavily as he slows to a stop at a stoplight.

“Can you just humor me for one night?” He asks giving you some serious puppy dog eyes. You feel that little prickle of an Alpha command but he doesn’t, like he’d promised.

“Fine. But you don’t get to pay.”

“Woah woah. Now that’s not the deal.”

“That’s the deal.” You argue and Steve glances over at you with an affectionate glare.

“Fine. Has anyone ever told you you’re bossy for an Omega?” He sighs heavily before asking, “What do you want?”

You end up picking up burgers at a little takeout place called Stan’s and eating them at home. Dinner with Steve is fun. He’s smart and charming and you enjoy spending time with him. When you’re done with dinner you grab your Stark Pad and head up to your room. You hear Steve in the shower and you manage to struggle out of your shirt and into your pajamas. You’re supposed to take some painkillers but you’ve got to be up for Sam in a few hours so you don’t.

You’re in way more pain when you wake up at 3:30. You wrap your robe around yourself and open your door. Much to your surprise both Steve and Sam are waiting outside your door.

“You owe me twenty bucks.” Steve says uncrossing one of his arms and holding an open hand out to Sam who pulls his wallet out and slams a twenty into Steve’s hand.

“Um, what?” You ask blinking at the two.

“I bet Sam that you’d be up to make him breakfast and something for Bucky before he goes to bed. Which also means that you didn’t take any pain meds.”

“I’m fine Steve.” You tell him trying to skirt past him.

“Uh, uh, uh Honey.” He pauses you with an arm in front of you, “I know you asked me not to but I wanna know why you need to do this? I just want what’s best for you.” You know he’s talking about not Alpha commanding you, part of it is a simple answer, the other part, not so much.

“Steve, I can’t just not do anything. Okay? I can’t.” You attempt to reason with him, “You guys are out there laying down your lives to help protect my home. I need to do something!” He studies you silently for a moment, just long enough where you’re almost uncomfortable.

“Okay Omega, but the second it’s too much take a break okay? And maybe take half of one of the pills Dr. May gave you. Just to help with the swelling.” He called you Omega again, not that you can lie about it now that Grant had called you an Omega bitch right in front of him. When Steve calls you Omega it’s, nice.

“Will you cut them in half for me before you go? I don’t have much range of motion in my left arm yet.” You ask softly, you have this weird feeling he might like to help take care of you as much as you like helping care for him, Sam and Bucky.

“Yea, I’ll cut one now and do the rest before I head out. If you’re too tired to get up with me please don’t okay?” You nod then follow him down the stairs.

Sam’s breakfast, and Bucky’s dinner, is a little more difficult with your aching body but if Steve notices any of your wincing he thankfully doesn’t say anything. You take the half pill that he offers then with Cooper on your heels trudge back upstairs. It takes you longer to get comfortable this time, you’re still awake when Steve and Bucky come to bed. You hear them talking quietly, you can’t really make out what they’re saying but Steve sounds annoyed. You can feel his irritation through the door and you’re worried you’ve done something. Hopefully you didn’t get him into any trouble with the other firefighters for leaving early.

You end up falling into a half sleep as the sun rises in the sky. You still hear everything going on around you but you can’t react, it’s a terrible way to sleep. You’re pretty sure you hear Steve open the door to check on you at some point, his scent invading the room when he cracks the door open. You relax further and finally fall into a restful sleep.

You wake up around one, Cooper is still laying at your feet when you stretch but he hops down and makes his way to the door with a wagging tail. You groan softly as you sit up, then make your way slowly to the door. You let Cooper out then struggle into your robe your arm aching. You make your way down to the kitchen to feed Cooper and find your bottle of pills full of halves. It makes you smile to see that Steve had taken the time to cut them, you take two of the halves, you’re not going anywhere today so you don’t need to be especially awake.

You do some drawing for your new book, it’s almost done and you couldn’t be more excited. Your deadline is in three days and with only two pages left to draw you’re feeling pretty good about everything. You’ve even decided what your next book is gonna be about, the therapy dogs that are coming in for the firefighters. You won’t use Cooper or any of the other dogs real names but you’re going to share the story.

You must fall asleep on the couch, when you wake Sam is in the kitchen humming away as he cooks. A warm ice pack falls off of your shoulder as you sit up, you grab it then move slowly to your feet. When you wander into the kitchen Sam gives you a broad smile,

“Mornin’ sleeping beauty. How do you feel?”

“Sore. Do you want me to take over?”

“Nah, Fawn. Buck said you didn’t even move when he let Cooper out and left. He did make sure you were breathing and put the ice on your shoulder. He said he wants to check it if you’re okay with that tomorrow before he leaves.”

“It’s just a deep bruise.”

“Yes but our Alpha told us to take care of you so we will.”

“Your Alpha? But you’re all Alphas?”

“Steve is a True Alpha.” Sam explains, “I thought he’d told you.”

“No, so he’s like, the leader of your pack?”

“Exactly.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

“He’s the boss.” Sam says with a shrug, “you like gumbo?”

“Can he Alpha command anyone?”

“Yea, but he wouldn’t. Not without good reason.” You’re almost positive that Steve must’ve Alpha commanded Grant.

“But he can.”

“Yes, why?”

“I think he did.”

“Who?”

“I mean, other than me. I think he Alpha commanded one of the doctors at the ER.” When Sam glances at you over his shoulder you look down at the warm ice pack you’re still holding. “Grant Ward, he’s my ex. He wanted to mate me but I just couldn’t, and he’s been making my life hard ever since.”

“You’re not a Beta are you.” Sam says softly and you look up at him in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

“Steve has been off, like he’s protecting an Omega but Bucky and I couldn’t figure it out because you smell like a Beta.”

“Please don’t say anything. If the town finds out I’m going to have every stupid Alpha at my door.”

“Not with Steve here you won’t.”

“You’re not going to be here forever. When you leave they’ll be all over me.” You tell him hurrying to his side, “Please don’t say anything!”

“I won’t, none of us will.” He promises and you give his arm an appreciative squeeze.

“Thanks Sam. And I do like Gumbo, thank you for cooking.”

“Of course Fawn. If you wanna keep working on your book I can let you know when the food is done.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yup.” So you do as he says and get back to work on your book. You’re on the last page when you hear him call for you.

“Thank you again for cooking. It smells amazing.”

“If I let Carol cook we’d both die.”

“She’s not much of a cook?”

“No, not at all.” He admits with a laugh, “I love the woman but she can’t cook.”

“Is it hard being in an Alpha-Alpha pair?”

“I don’t think so, but it’s definitely a choice we make to make it work.”

“Sorry, that was a very personal question.”

“I don’t mind, I’d imagine things are pretty traditional here.” You nod, “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“Why aren’t you mated?”

“I’ve dated but after the shit with Grant I think I’m just scared. All the Alphas around here want an Omega and they think I’m a Beta so they don’t really look my way.”

“Are you just waiting for an Alpha?”

“No, if I met the right Beta that would be fine too.”

“Which of us smells best?”

“Nope,” you tell him with a laugh, “I’m not going there.”

“I had to try.” He tells you with a grin of his own.

“All I’ll say is that none of you smell bad. All comforting.”

“Good.” Sam says with a nod and you finish the meal in comfortable conversation. You shoo him out of the kitchen when you’re both done. Insisting that he go to bed so he’s rested for his morning shift. You take another half of a pain pill then start doing the dishes. You finish your last drawing then send everything to your publisher so they can check it over. By the time that’s done it’s nearly ten and Steve should be home soon.

You get off the couch and follow Cooper to the back door. When you open it Coop doesn’t move, just stares out into the darkness.

“In or out Coop.” You tell him and he ambles out into the yard. You close the door and head back to the kitchen to grab a bowl of Gumbo to start heating for Steve. You go back to the back door and when you open it you find Cooper isn’t alone in the backyard.

“Hi Omega.”

“What.” You gasp as Brock moves closer to your house. “Cooper!”

“I think he got out.”

“What? Cooper!” You call shutting the door in Brock’s face you lock it and hurry into the living room. The front door opens and Steve comes in, Cooper trailing behind him. “Oh, oh thank god. Oh Steve thank you.”

“He was hanging out in the front. How did he get out?”

“I don’t know.” Steve tenses, “Brock is out back. He apparently knows I’m an Omega.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” He goes to go past you and upstairs when you catch his wrist with your right hand.

“No! Please make him go away. I don’t know how he found out I was an Omega but he did. I don’t want him here Steve.”

“You want him gone?”

“Please Alpha.” You whisper and Steve nods before going to the back of the house.

Tag list:

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[blu-joons]

DATING SEVENTEEN A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Kim Mingyu

A ⇴ AFFECTION 

Being affectionate is something that Mingyu is big on, he loves cuddling you and keeping you close. His tall frame definitely works to his advantage as he can wrap you up and keep you, even when you want him to let you go.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING 

You were minding your own business on a walk one day when you felt a guy crash into you. As you looked around, your eyes met a tall guy who was quick to apologise, guiding you across to a nearby store so he could buy you a new shirt once he noticed that his coffee cup had ruined the one that he was wearing.

C ⇴ CONFESSION 

Mingyu wasn’t shy of confidence when it came to confessing to you. He waited until you began to drop a few obvious hints to him to start planning out a confession. A lot of heart and thought went into it, Mingyu arranged a romantic day, and night, confessing to you right at the end of your evening. The whole day was more than you could have ever imagined from him, and a very reassuring sign that he was the one too.

D ⇴ DATES 

Your dates with Mingyu are always very sentimental and meaningful, he loves to do things that you would remember and recognise the heart that he put into each one. The way of doing this for him is usually through food, he enjoys cooking for you and spending a lot of time to make sure that he perfects the recipe exactly to your liking. Selfishly, Mingyu is also a massive foodie too so he will never turn down the opportunity to cook for himself whenever he has the chance to cook for you as well.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE 

If Mingyu was going to fall in love, it was to be for the long run. As soon as he started dating you, he made it clear to you that he only wanted something serious. He knew his work demanded a lot from him, but there was always a part of him that wanted to experience love too. Whilst he knew he had quite a lot of attention from the fans, he was determined to make sure that you trusted in him before letting things get too serious, and also make sure that he was open with the fans to not upset or hurt them too.

F ⇴ FIGHTING 

He very much wore his heart on his sleeve, and fights were definitely included within that. Mingyu hated fighting with you, he wasn’t someone that was big on conflict despite his stature, out of the two of you, you coped a lot better than him. Mingyu would never usually say much in an argument, he’d stick around until you’d finished talking, and then try and find a solution as quickly as possible. The wait for an argument to resolve was the hardest part of it all, he couldn’t deal with the silence that came from you so he’d always try and sort things out just as quickly, if not quicker, than they fell apart.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY 

His family were very important to Mingyu and it was crucial for him that you got along with them and that they liked you too. For your first meeting he went all out, he wanted to make sure that he impressed both you and his family and gave you the best setting to get to know each other for the very first time.

H ⇴ HOME 

Mingyu didn’t necessarily want to move out of the dorm, but he was keen on spending a lot of time at yours. He didn’t want to disturb Wonwoo too much by being in their room together, so you’d usually be respectful of him and spend a lot of time at your place, where you could also spend better time alone.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU” 

Mingyu was the first to say, ‘I love you,’ one night when he was sure that you were sleeping. You also felt as if you were dreaming when you heard his voice whisper into your ear, but when you asked the following morning if you were really dreaming, and he said no, you couldn’t help but say it back to him, making sure that he knew he wasn’t dreaming too.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY 

Whilst he liked to consider himself as someone who was confident and loud, Mingyu certainly had his moments when he’d get jealous too. There were times when he just couldn’t help himself but have to bite his tongue. Behind the noise, he was sensitive, if he saw another guy around you then it would definitely put his back up and put him on high alert. He was protective of you, and if he felt like he needed to step in, he’d usually use his height to assert his dominance into a situation and send a very clear message to whoever was trying to get to you.

K ⇴ KIDS 

Having kids is definitely something Mingyu looks forward to. He can’t wait for the day when there’s little ones running around who can match his energy and smile just as much as him. You also know that he’s very much a family man, as much as he loves performing, Mingyu has had several discussions with you where he’s told you how he hopes to be able to settle down one day, especially since you entered his life too.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER 

With such a positive outlook on so much, it’s impossible for Mingyu not to be laughing. He can find the humour in just about everything, even if it is absolutely terrible. Having him around with a big grin permanently on his face definitely helps to make you smile more often too. When you’re feeling down, he’s the best person to have around to cheer you up because he has such an infectious personality. Even if you’re at your lowest, Mingyu will work tirelessly to make sure that the smile is back on your face, whatever is troubling you, he’ll find a way to flip it around so you can try and look at it with a more positive and happier mindset.

M ⇴ MISSING 

He’s quite good at keeping his emotions to one side, thankfully Mingyu is quite an optimistic person so rather than focus on how long he’s been away from you, he’ll think about how there’s fewer days to being back with you. Having a glass half full attitude certainly helps Mingyu cope when he’s away from you. He’ll be constantly trying to keep his mind positive and looking forwards, and use that to also help you feel better when you’re having a bad day or really missing him. No matter how he’s feeling, he makes sure to keep the smile on his face both for the boys but also for you too so you can remember to smile as well.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES 

Mingyu is used to being the tall one, and so will often call you something like ‘little one,’ to remind you that he is not just tall, but he is the tallest of all of the members too, making sure to show his height off to you, and them.

O ⇴ OBSESSION 

He’s obsessed with your hair, especially when he’s nervous or down, Mingyu will love to play with your hair to try and distract himself from whatever it is that’s going on.

P ⇴ PDA 

Being affectionate in public isn’t something that Mingyu’s afraid of, he doesn’t care if people know that the two of you are together, but with that, he won’t force your affection in front of people. He’ll do whatever comes naturally to him and what he knows will keep you safe when you’re out with him.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS 

You’ll often get asked if you have a couple of minutes to help Mingyu when he’s broken something or made a mess. Sometimes you’re convinced his clumsy streak has a curse against you with how often he ends up causing chaos for you to sort out.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS 

Mingyu was keen on his action figures and collectibles, and so one day decided to surprise you with an action figure of your own. It ended up being something that he kept with him a lot, especially if he was on the road. It almost became a good luck charm for him to keep in his pocket, even if you weren’t able to be there in person, then the figure would be your spirit cheering him on with everything that he did.

S ⇴ SEX 

Mingyu is incredibly romantic when it comes to sex, he loves to make you feel very loved and very safe in his tall frame. He enjoys taking his time with you and making sure that every occasion is special, he never wants to rush anything when it comes down to showing you how much he loves you. At times, he can be a bit of a tease, but around you, more often than not he turns into a complete softie as you’re his ultimate weakness.

T ⇴ TEXTS 

Messages from Mingyu will crop up a lot during the day, especially if he didn’t get to see you that morning. He’ll often just check in with you to see if you’re doing alright or enquire what your days like and if there’s time for him there.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE 

Together the two of you are very similar, you’re a bit of a walking cliche at times, finishing each other’s sentences or knowing exactly what the other will order off the menu, but that’s exactly why you’re your own favourite couple too.

V ⇴ VACATION 

You knew that Mingyu was a huge fan of Latin America, and so when a gap in his schedule finally appeared, you managed to organise the perfect trip that included all the things that you knew were on his bucket list. Somehow, you managed to keep it a complete secret from Mingyu until you ended up at the terminal.

W ⇴ WHINING 

It was hit and miss whether Mingyu would whine around you, if he was in a needy mood, he’d let you know about it that was one thing for certain.

X ⇴ XXXXX 

Kisses are a huge deal for Mingyu, he’s affection at the best of times, but especially with kisses. His favourite spot to kiss is definitely the top of your head, he loves to be able to lean over you and kiss into your hairline, or crane his body around so that he could reach your cheek whilst wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. Whenever you’re happy or sad, he’ll always be there with a kiss and some words of encouragement.

Y ⇴ YOU 

You were his teammate, the two of you took on the world together.

Z ⇴ ZZZ 

The two of you would often fall asleep intertwined, with Mingyu’s hands usually running through your hair. It was an unconscious habit of Mingyu’s, there was something so comforting him to be able to play with your hair when he rested.

---

Masterlist

[yourlocalmaraudersbabe]

hello, darling. pleade do remember how groovy I am before you see how many prompts I listed. The scenario would be being *awful* at anything sports related and James being super patient and sweet trying to teach you quidditch. With these prompts please: 2, 25, 36, 44, 54, 56 and finally 69. thank youuu

“Well maybe I’d reconsider”

Summary: James tries to teach you about quidditch, but it turns into a bumpy broom ride

A/N: Sarahhhh thanks for sending this in :) Also everyone go read @sarahisslytherin‘s writing, it’s wonderful <3

Word Count: 921

Masterlist + Characters and ships I write for

Requests are always open <3

Fluff Dialogue Prompt List

Join my taglist here!

Reminder that I do not support jkr. Do not interact if you do.

“Are you paying attention to me?”

James waved his hands in front of you, clearing your thoughts of daydreams.

“Sorry, I was too busy being lost in your eyes,” you teased, warmth creeping onto your cheeks.

“I know I’m beautiful but I’m trying to explain this to you.”

After six long painful years of James asking to teach you quidditch, and three years of a happy relationship, you now stood on the grass of the pitch with the boy in front of you, eager to teach.

In your defense, falling off your broom first year, breaking your leg and a couple ribs, made you pretty weary to the idea. It got you excused from flying lessons and strongly encouraged to find join Flitwick’s choir.

When it came to your boyfriend being on the team, it was hard for you to bring yourself to go watch him play. Just the sight of it made you nearly sick to your stomach. You cheered him on at the more important games, when you made sure that you had company in the stands.

It would be a lie to say you were fine with missing out on the matches.

You felt terrible not watching the person you love most play something that he enjoyed, all over the fact that you couldn’t stomach it.

But you cracked and gave into James. It was hard to say no to him, especially with that look on his face. That look of pure hope and enjoyment spreading across him the first instance you hesitated in answering no.

“Okay,” he started. “Three chasers, two beaters, a keeper, and a seeker.”

You mumbled, repeating what he said under your breath. “How am I supposed to remember that?”

“It’s not a lot to remember.”

“It is too!”

“Maybe come to more matches. It might be easier that way.”

You frowned. “That’s not fair for you to say.”

“Y/n, you’re hung up on something that happened first year.”

You stayed silent, gathering your thoughts in your mind that was racing. You opened your mouth to speak but he beat you to it.

“I’m sorry,” he looked to his feet for a brief moment before meeting your eyes.

“I accept apologies in kisses and hugs.”

He continued rambling, completely missing what you had said. “That wasn’t fair of me to say—”

“If I don’t get a kiss in the next ten seconds, I think I might explode.”

You stopped him short, his mouth agape. He erased the space between the two of you, kissing you sweetly.

He kissed you as if he were to ever stop, he’d lose you. He’d lose your laugh and smile, and the way you’d run his fingers through his hair as you lay with him in bed. He kissed you, ignoring the tense blanket of air that lay over the field.

You pulled away, an affectionate smile on your face. “I- I should probably try and come to more matches. I want to be there for you, James.”

“But that was unfair of me to say, I really am sorry.”

You gave him a compassionate smile. “All is forgiven,” you said. “Back to quidditch?”

“Back to quidditch.”

He picked up two brooms, holding one out your way. “Right. So. First, flying.”

“Touchy subject,” you joked, laughter spilling from the both of you.

“Okay, okay, it’s simple really. Just mount your broom and kick off with your feet, like this.”

James demonstrated the simple step for you so effortlessly it made you want to knock him off.

You eyed him up and down. “You can’t be comfortable sitting like that.”

“It’s quite comfortable actually.”

“Really? You seem to be—”

“You’re stalling.”

“This terrifies me,” you admitted quietly.

“It’ll be alright, I promise.”

“Do I have to be on my own broom?”

He shook his head, holding out his hand for you to take it. You fit your hand snug into his, mounting the broom in front of him.

“How about we just focus on flying today, yeah?”

You nodded, gripping onto the wood for dear life. “You’re safe with me,” he spoke softly, head on your shoulder as he slipped an arm around your waist and the other firm around the broom.

He leaned forward the slightest bit before looking upwards, ascending into the sky. “Merlin,” you muttered under your breath.

Once you reached the height of the stands, he hovered in the air. “Steering is all in your shoulders, got it?”

“No, I do not—”

You stopped yourself short as he gained speed, turning sharply. “James!”

“I’ve got you,” he reassured.

He kept a steady pace, winding around the stands and goal posts. It wasn’t as bad as you thought it’d be, but you’d never admit that to the boy behind you.

Everything was well, calming even, until James had leaned in, speeding towards the ground. You had let a sequence of curses and his name slip past your lips, squeezing your eyes shut.

With an abrupt stop, James planted his feet on the ground. You got off, fixing your robes and pointing an accusatory finger at him. “You’re an ass!”

“You love me,” he said through a playful smile.

“I do! But that still doesn’t mean that—”

“Just admit it, you love flying,” he teased, crossing his arms. “And later, you’ll love quidditch.”

“I love you, not quidditch.”

“What if my name was Quidditch, huh?”

An infectious smile crept upon your face, unable to hide it as you rolled your eyes.

“Well maybe I’d reconsider.”

James Potter Taglist(send me an ask to be removed): @wisedreamcatcher @scorpiobaby22 @emmaev @harrypotter0addict @talksoprettyjjx @katelebate @onyourgoddamnleft @ilovejamespotter @confuscita

[otakusheep15]

SFW Alphabet - Simeon

This man seriously owns my entire heart. Like, I would trade all of the brothers just to be with him, no questions asked lmao

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Surprisingly, he’s not that affectionate. Well, at least not physically. He enjoys spending time with you and being in the same room, but he hardly ever craves psychical affection like the brothers do. The farthest he usually goes is hand-holding and maybe a little hand kiss too, but he rarely goes beyond that unless he’s feeling especially clingy that day. Just being near you is enough for him really. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Friendship with him can go one of two ways. He’d either baby you like he does with Luke, or lowkey bully you like he does with Lucifer, no in between. It really depends on how you are as a person and how he sees you. If he sees you as someone who needs protecting and is a bot more on the childish side, you’ll totally be another Luke to him. And if you’re someone whose more on the opposite end of that spectrum, calm, composed, serious, he’ll treat you more like he does Lucifer. But he loves you all the same. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cuddling is probably the one exception to the lack of physical affection. He loves nothing more than to curl up next to you in bed after a long day of dealing with RAD, Luke, and Solomon’s “cooking”. He especially loves laying his head on your chest so that he can listen to your heartbeat. It just calms him down and reminds him that you’re really here with him. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Man is the definition of malewife (besides Barb), so of course he’s amazing at any kind of chore. He’s also gotten quite good at household chores after having to take care of Luke for so long. And, trust me, he would love to settle down with you. Maybe Luke could come along too? That would be ideal. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d be super gentle about it. The last thing he wants is to make the situation any worse than it’s gonna get, so he breaks the news as calmly as possible. If the situation did somehow escalate, he would try is best to get everything under control lest someone get hurt (physically or emotionally). 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

As much as he’d love to get married, he also wants to take it slow. He understands that relationships need time to develop, so he wants to wait until both of you are absolutely sure before going any further. After all, marriage is a big commitment to an angel, so it’s important that everything is perfect. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He is so gentle. Like, he’s the best when it comes to care. Maybe it’s just his instincts as an angel, but he feels the need to protect you from any harm whatsoever. He always makes sure he has permission before touching you anywhere, and he’s constantly checking up on you and making sure you’re feeling well. really, he just wants you to feel as comfortable as possible with him.  

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He likes hugs, but he doesn’t give them out too often. It’s almost always you who goes to him for hugs first unless he’s in a really good mood. But he’ll never deny anyone who does want a hug, especially you (and Luke). 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Honestly, he probably waits a while before saying it. In fact, you might end up being the one to say it first. He wants to take things slow, and the last thing he wants is to make you feel rushed by saying it too quickly. He loves you very much, and you’re both highly aware of that, but actually saying the words takes time for him. 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Surprisingly, he gets really jealous really easily. Not so surprisingly, he’s very good at hiding it. He just hates how much time you spend with the brothers, and he’ll use anything to get you to come over. His most common excuses usually involve either Luke or Solomon needing supervision and him needing help with that. He never means to guilt trip or gaslight, but he lowkey might if it means getting you to him quicker.  

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He is a sucker for for hand kisses, both giving and receiving. They’re just so romantic to him, and they don’t take much effort either. His kisses, regardless of where they are, are super loving and romantic. All he wants to do is sweep you off your feet and make you feel loved. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

*cough*Luke*cough* All jokes aside, he does really love children. He just loves how innocent and joyful they can be, and he loves how they speak their minds since most don’t have a filter. The chaos they can get into is also an added bonus, even if it can be a hassle to clean up afterwards. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings can go one of two ways. The preferred way is you two waking up around the same time and just staying in bed for a couple hours enjoying each other’s company. These mornings are usually filled with sweet words and soft touches. The other, less preferred way, is absolute chaos. It doesn’t matter if you stay at the HoL or PH, there will be chaos. And one (or both) of you is going to have to fix it. 

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He tends to stay up late working, so you can either go to bed and he’ll join later, or you can stay up with him. Either way, he’ll try and finish up as quickly as possible so that he can curl up with you in bed. If his day was especially stressful, he’ll hold you close to him and rant about all of his worries. Side note: please pet his hair, he deserves it. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s actually pretty open with you, which is kinda surprising. I mean, he does have his secrets he’d much rather keep, but who doesn’t. However, he also knows the value of trust in a relationship, so he tries his hardest to be open and honest with you as possible. He hopes that you’ll do the same as well. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

The freakin definition of patience. He’s dealt with so much throughout his life, so he’s grown to have an amazing temperament. Of course he can get annoyed (*cough*the play*cough*) but he does so well at controlling it most of the time. This patience is specifically applied to you and Luke. You could literally murder someone and he probably still wouldn’t be mad. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He’d remember most of what you say, but he’d hardly ever utilize it like some of the brothers do. He’ll use the information in more subtle ways. You mention. a certain flavor of cake you like? He makes sure Luke makes some during hsi next baking session. Any shows you enjoy? He may not watch them depending on the length, but he’ll do some research on them so that he can talk to you about it. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite memory is this one time you came over to bake with Luke. Luke, precious thing, was trying out this new recipe, and he was super excited about it. But, of course, Solomon had to come in and mess everything up and now the kitchen and half the house is a mess. Luke is super upset, Solomon is lowkey enjoying it, and Simeon is there watching the world burn around him. And through it all, you stayed there and helped them clean up even when you didn’t have to. He just found it so sweet that you took the time to help Luke and also the rest of the Hall as well. It ended up being a fun day even if he did scold Solomon for hours afterwards. 

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s decently protective, but that’s mostly is angelic instincts. Angels have that natural instinct to protect humans, so he had that urge even before you two became a thing. And that urge only became stronger as you two got closer. However, his protection comes in more subtle ways, like most of his gestures. Someone getting a bit too close to you? He’ll put his arm about you and slowly back you away. The brothers are fighting again? He’ll step in front of you to make sure you’re not caught in the cross-fire. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Like pretty much everything else, he’s much more subtle with his dates. He prefers more lowkey options, like a picnic or just hanging out in either his room or yours. You guys never do anything over-the-top, and he likes it that way. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He tends to prioritize others over himself a lot, and he’s been trying to work on it for a while. And, obviously, he’s terrible with tech. I honestly have no clue how he’s survived this long not knowing how a D.D.D. works past the basics.  

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s naturally pretty, so he doesn’t need to care. Jokes aside, he isn’t one to particularly care for his looks. He does want to look nice and presentable, but it isn’t usually a top priority compared to someone like Asmo or Mammon. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

WIthout a doubt. He tends to get attached to people very easily, and you’re no exception. Once you two being getting close, it’s over for him. From then on, he’s attached to you. If something were to happen to you, he would simply cease to exist. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He and Michael totally had something going on at one point. Maybe they still have something going on. Hell, maybe even Luci was involved at one point. I have no clue where this idea came from, but it’s in my head and so now all of you are being subjected to it as well. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

People who dislike Luke are a big no for him. Sorry, they’re a package deal. You want him? Well, now you have a child too.  

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He tends to make noises in his sleep. It’s not really cohearent words or anything, more just like light snores and stuff. Kinda like a dog when it really gets into a dream, ya know? 

[ohmyasmodeus]

𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴 ✧

as requested, a follow up to your first kisses with the demon brothers ! thank you so much, i’m glad to hear you enjoyed them sweetheart. i hope you enjoy these too ♡ baby luke gets a boop on the nose and a kiss on the cheek and nothing more !

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ 𝙙𝙞𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙡𝙤

✧   Your first kiss with Diavolo is a thousand things— the rush of excitement, the tenderness of understanding, the feeling of the wind running through your hair and all-consuming passion. Your first kiss with Diavolo makes you feel like you belong.

✧   Receiving attention from the ruler of hell himself felt completely unreal. Have you been that exceptional of a student? It constantly begs the question of what you had done to warrant such attention, not to mention the way Diavolo looks at you, striking eyes so full of want. Your meetings with him are often that of pure chance, or formal meetings to discuss your academic performance, but they are quick to become much less formal.

✧   The startling realisation that Diavolo cares for you more than he should for a mere student comes in the form of him consoling you; his amber eyes gaze at you so honestly, and he rests a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“I know he can be frustrating, but Lucifer means well, ______. I know it’s been hard to adjust to life here, but you’ve been doing so good!” Diavolo laughs, boisterous as ever. It manages to make the corners of your lips tilt upwards in slight amusement. The pressure on your chests eases slightly with his presence and the arm he wraps around your shoulder. “Really! You manage to wrangle those seven brothers better than anyone has before! I’ll talk to him, get him to ease up on you a bit. How does that sound?”

“Thanks,” you give him a smile, resting your head on his shoulder. The Devildom sprawls out in front of you as your gaze wanders past the balcony railing, and you find yourself breathing in the fresh air, thinking about how the moment feels so perfect. Diavolo by your side, his kingdom below you… “But being around you makes me feel better already. I just wish you weren’t so busy.”

Diavolo grins like a kid in a candy store. “Oh? You want to spend even more time with me?”

“Duh.”

“Wow, I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before!” Diavolo gives you an affectionate squeeze with his arm. Breathlessly, you laugh, sure that if he had a tail it would be wagging hard. The way he looks at you is so full of life, so excited. You’re a breath of fresh air in the burdensome life of a prince. “I should be the one thanking you for letting me in, I love spending time with you too. Everyone walks on eggshells around me, but you… You’re special. Thank you.”

Maybe it’s the Devildom air getting to you, or maybe it’s the way Diavolo’s closeness is almost intoxicating, but the way he looks at you makes your heart race like nothing before. Instead if shying away, you find a little bit of boldness you never thought you had— the boldness to tiptoe and press your lips against his. Immediately, you feel his large hands on your waist, hoisting you up and making you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist to avoid a fall. He laughs when you pull away, his cheeks faintly flushed.

“You really are a special human! My favourite human!” Diavolo holds you close in delight and brings you into kiss after kiss. The moonlight illuminates the both of you as he sways you around on the balcony, and you know that this is exactly where you have always been meant to be.

♡ 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙣

✧   Your first kiss with Solomon feels like a long fought for victory.

✧   What a tease. Solomon likes teasing you way too much, especially when he suspects that you might have feelings for him. He isn’t mean per se— he just has fun giving you mixed signals and letting you try to decipher the mystery that he is. He really is fond of you though, and can’t help but be more genuine when you two are alone together.

✧   It’s all too easy to get distracted when you were alone with him too, not just by the smell of his cologne or the way his knowing gaze summoned butterflies in your tummy, but by how he was the best person to talk shit with.

“—and they act like they know everything about you! They’re all so smug too, invading my privacy just because they’re bored!” You huff as you lean your cheek into the palm of your hand, watching Solomon flip through your textbooks. He smiles idly as he listens to you chatter away. “I can’t imagine what it’s like having a pact with almost a hundred of them.”

Solomon just laughs as he closes a textbook and bops you on the head with it. “Maybe you’d have an idea if you did your school work like you told me you wanted my help with.”

“Ugh, I don’t want to. I don’t want to do anything right now.” The warmth of the sorcerer envelopes you as you scoot closer to him and lean your head on his shoulder. You hear him chuckle as he runs a gentle hand through your hair. All you want to do in this moment is enjoy being with him, instead of wasting your time and attention on schoolwork you honestly couldn’t care less about.

“Not even me?”

When you lift your head to make your snarky retort, you’re faced with Solomon smirking as if he’d  just issued you a challenge, lips too close to yours to be unintentional. And you’re never one to turn down a good challenge. Maybe it’s predictable of you, but you can’t care less as you chase his lips and firmly press yours against his.

Solomon’s smirk is mirrored on your lips when you pull away, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck. “Asmo is a terrible influence on you. That was so fucking cheesy.”

♡ 𝙨𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣

✧   First kisses, first loves, you have many firsts with Simeon. Your first kiss with him is nothing short of divine.

✧   The both of you connect on so many levels, more than you would’ve ever expected from someone from the Celestial Realm. It’s almost as if Simeon just knows you and has for centuries, and the spark between you is immeasurable in its brightness and intensity. You feel it like it’s the first time every time Simeon touches your arm gently, or guides your hand to draw a rune correctly, or tucks a lock of hair behind your ear.

✧   “What are you going to do when you get home?” Simeon asks, taking off his gloves. You lie on his bed lazily and glance up from your D.D.D. to look at him, which he smiles at. (It had taken a surprisingly long time to be invited into his dorm room, and you guess that it likely has to do with the implications of spending time alone, completely unsupervised, nobody but each other… Or maybe that was just you talking.)

“Ew, are you already thinking about getting rid of me?” You laugh, letting your legs sway in the air. “Maybe I’ll pray to God and ask him to make you my guardian angel. Then you’ll never be able to get away from me!”

Simeon laughs, chime-like in the comfortable silence of his room. “I wouldn’t dream of it, ______. I was simply asking.” He shrugs off his cloak and hangs it up properly, before rolling onto the bed beside you and leaning his chin on your shoulder. “It’s good to know that I’ll be missed.”

You don’t like thinking about it. The dread fills you at the simple mention of leaving, of not having Simeon close. Will you even get the chance to tell him how you feel about him?

“Yeah… I guess I just…” An ache clutches at your heart, making your hands tremble slightly. “I don’t want to be without you. I don’t like thinking about it.”

“Oh, my sweet little lamb, you’ll always have me... My heart belongs to you.” Simeon sighs gently. You feel his soft breath ghost across your skin, before he uses his gentle fingers to lift your chin to face him. His gentle smile calms your heart instantly, and you lean in without a second thought. Simeon does too, closing his eyes as he feels your soft lips against his. It feels like an eternity with him— an endless moment that you could stay in forever. “I’m never letting you go.”

♡ 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙨

✧   Your first kiss with Barbatos feels like finally reaching home after a long journey.

✧   Every aspect of your relationship with Barbatos seems to come as a surprise. It seems simply impossible to guess the next moves he would make, and though you didn’t expect yourself to gain an interest like this in any of the demons, Barbatos leaves you wondering about him deep into the night. It’s frustrating at times.

✧   One of the only times you get to spend time with Barbatos is late at night, once his duties for the day are finished. You watch him finish organising stacks of paperwork on Diavolo’s desk and cross your arms.

“You know you aren’t meant to be here.” Barbatos doesn’t look up to acknowledge you, but you hear the smile in his voice.

“You’ll get me out of trouble anyway,” you say confidently. “Are you still busy?”

“Maybe you should’ve texted me first, then maybe you would know.”

His sharp sense of humour has always made you laugh, especially when used on the more dense people around you, but this time it makes you sigh. All you wanted to do was spend some time with him after being apart for a while, but the way he responded makes you feel a little foolish for it. “Alright. Have fun doing whatever.”

That’s what you hate about him. You hate how opaque he always is, how you can never know if he wants to spend time with you or if he’s ditching you on purpose, and how you can never tell if he feels the way that you do. Maybe it’s best to just go back and lick your wounds.

You turn away, but before you can begin walking, you feel gentle hands on your hips and an almost teasing chuckle. Barbatos kisses your head and quietly says, “You’re cute when you get mad. It’s clear that I haven’t been spending enough time with you, and I’m sorry, ______. Let me make it up to you?”

“Bring me to Hell’s Kitchen or I’ll still be mad.”

“Anything for you.” Barbatos’ voice is a soft mutter as he uses his hands to gently turn you to face him. The kiss he gives you comes as both a surprise and something expected, and it makes you softly wrap your arms around the back of his neck, smiling as you let your eyes close. Finally being able to kiss him feels like breathing a sigh of relief. This is home.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[sevlgi]

you were beautiful

requested: no

group: stray kids

pairing: lee know x fem!reader

genre: angst, questionable fluff

contents: amnesia!au, dancer!minho, receptionist!reader who can’t remember him

warnings: mentions of an accident

synopsis: There isn’t much you remember from your old life, but you know someone is missing. When he comes to find you, you have to decide how many memories of the past are worth bringing back.

a/n: lmao please give my fic a chance, i promise it’s worth a read

word count: 7.5k

Deja vu. 

For the longest time, Minho hadn’t understood what the word really meant despite all of Seungmin’s attempts to explain the concept to him. He just didn’t know how something could be so familiar and yet foreign at the same time, could feel like the past despite being the present, and he definitely didn’t believe that he’d ever be able to feel it for himself.

But on a sunny Monday afternoon, being dragged to the hospital by Felix, Minho understands. He feels, and he stumbles onto his friends in front of him.

“Minho hyung, are you okay?” Changbin asks, seeing the look on the dancer’s face. He absolutely would be pushing him back, if it wasn’t for the stricken expression that currently resides on Minho’s face “Hyung?”

“It’s her,” Minho breathes out, his eyes scanning the front of the hospital for the all-too-familiar smile that he’s sure he saw. Felix exchanges a glance with Chan behind his back as Minho bounds up the stairs, panting from the exertion it took to sprint across the courtyard. “It’s Y/N, I know it is--”

Felix frowns, “Y/N? Which one? I know there’s a receptionist working here who’s named Y/N, but...”

“No, you don’t understand,” Minho interrupts, whirling back to face the 3 others. If Jisung or Seungmin were there, Minho would’ve already been ripped to shreds, but Chan, Felix, and Changbin only stare at him worriedly. “My Y/N.”

It clicks in his friends’ minds, and Changbin surges forward to yank the hospital doors open. “It can’t be,” Chan insists, though he follows the other 3 inside. “Minho, Y/N broke up with you and said she was moving to England 2 years ago.”

Shaking his head, Felix sighs, “Okay, wait. Hyung, we have to go see Jisung, the others are waiting there for us. I promise we can go and look later, okay?”

Minho opens his mouth to protest, but his phone buzzes in his pocket. Hyunjin, probably, calling to make sure that they’re on their way to comfort Jisung about his broken leg. And Minho has never hated the squirrel-cheeked boy more as he sighs and nods, following the others to the reception desk that Felix claims is two halls down.

Of course, it isn’t. “I’m sorry,” the blonde boy sighs and takes his phone out. “I’ll call-- my friend. Hang on.”

He talks lowly over the phone, and Minho has to bite down, hard, on his own lip just to keep himself from running down the hall again. But soon enough, he hears Felix laughing, exchanging hello’s with someone, and he has to turn.

As soon as he does, the thing that he assumes to be deja vu hits him again, and Minho clutches his hand to his stomach. It’s you, in the flesh-- after all, no one would be able to replicate your smile so perfectly, and no one could possibly be able to mimic a face as perfect as yours. Your hair’s different than he remembers, but it’s been years, and--

“Hi. I’m Y/N,” you introduce yourself, shaking hands with Chan and Changbin before holding your hand out to him. “I’m Felix’s friend, the receptionist.”

“Uh,” Minho manages. Something about the look on his friends’ faces tells him no, that it isn’t the right time, but he can’t exactly stop himself. “Y/N, it’s me. Minho.”

Your smile is confused now, and your hand falters in the air. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow. Have we met?”

He frowns, stepping slightly forward, though not enough to alarm you. Felix looks panicked behind you, but he’s frozen in place as Minho says, “Don’t- don’t lie to me. Y/N--”

“I’m sorry,” Chan cuts in, stepping between you and Minho. “He... he had an ex, uh, with the same name. I guess you guys look alike too.”

You still look concerned, but you pass it off with a smile and a laugh. “Oh, that’s funny. Same name, same face? If she wasn’t your ex, I’d like to meet her.”

Changbin laughs for him, tugging Minho forward. “Yeah, it’s really funny. Uh, what room is Jisung in?”

With the prompt, you turn back to Felix and affectionately punch him in the arm before leading the way. Minho’s stomach twists with jealousy; after all, there’s no way two people who look and sound the exact same exist, especially with the same name, and he can’t shake the thought that you are the one he’s been trying to forget. But you make your way to Jisung’s room soon enough, and open the door for the 4 boys. “Here you are. Come get me if you need anything,” you smile, your eyes lingering on Minho for just a second before you leave. Maybe he imagines it.

“Yo, hyungs and Felix!”

Jisung shouts loud enough to distract Minho, and he turns to find the hospital room filled with his friends. Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Jeongin are crowded onto one tiny sofa, while Changbin has started to annoy them. Felix and Chan crouch by Jisung’s side while he waves and grins at Minho. “You see what Hyunjin has done to me?”

“I did not,” the long-haired boy protests, a tangle of long limbs under Jeongin, who’s basically treating him as part of the couch. “You tried that stupid trick after Seungmin dared you, it’s not my fault.”

“Shut up, both of you, and hand me a pen,” Minho grumbles, sinking to a side beside Jisung’s elevated leg. To be honest, he wants some excuse to see you at the desk again, to listen to your voice and compare it to the one always echoing in his head, but he distracts himself. “I’m drawing a dick and you can’t stop me.”

“Chan hyung,” Jisung whines while he tries to kick Minho away with his good leg. The cast is bright pink, to Minho’s amusement, and it picks up the black of his marker well. “Minho hyung, I’ll never forgive you if you make me walk around with a dick on my leg.”

Minho snickers, “You can’t exactly walk.”

Chan sighs and shoves Minho, though it’s light. “Come on, stop bullying him.”

“I have to go to physical therapy, too,” Jisung pouts. “You’ll embarrass me.”

“Oh yeah?” Despite all his bravado, Minho just signs his name near Jisung’s ankle, as messy and large as he can make it. “For how long?”

“We don’t know yet,” Jeongin speaks up. “Y/N’s going to come in and tell us, but I really want to go out and ask her.”

Excitement courses through Minho, and he stands up, the pen clattering to the linoleum floor besides his feet. “I can do it. I remember where the reception desk is.”

Felix looks concerned and he asks, “Are you sure you can... handle it? Hyung, I’m friends with Y/N, maybe I should go.”

Minho waves their concerns off, Seungmin leaning in to ask Changbin what happened outside. “I won’t embarrass you, Lix, at least not terribly. I’ll get Hannie’s results, and then I’ll be right back.”

As soon as he’s out of room 914, the warmth and light inside escapes, and the smell of alcohol burns Minho’s nose. In all his excitement, he had forgotten how much he hates hospitals, hates the way everyone inside only looks one step closer to death. But he peeks around a corner to where he remembers your desk to be and arranges a polite smile on his face as he approaches you. “Y/N?”

“That’s me, how may I--” You pause when you swivel around to him, but the smile reappears soon enough. “Minho, right? You’re done visiting Jisung this quickly?”

“Not exactly,” he chuckles. “Uh, I just heard from the others that they’re still waiting for his results? About how long he has to do physical therapy and stay here?”

You nod at that and pull your keyboard towards you. Gods, you’re so familiar-- the way your tongue pokes into your cheek as you type, the way you narrow your eyes despite being able to see the screen. Minho hates how much he remembers about you. It has to be you, he convinces himself, whether you’re lying about knowing him or not. “Ah. Well, hang on, the system’s a bit slow,” you chuckle.

“That’s okay,” Minho shrugs. It’s actually exactly what he wants-- time, for him to ask a few simple, nonimposing questions. “So, uh, when did you start working here? I’ve been here a couple times, never saw you.”

“I actually only transferred here last month,” you answer with a smile. “I used to work at the hospital downtown, Lixie met me there.”

“Lixie, huh?” Minho attempts at a smile, but you don’t know him well enough to see that it’s fake. “That’s cute. You guys are close? Did you help him there or something?”

You shake your head, typing something into the computer despite the loading screen. “No, actually, I was a patient at the time. I had amnesia,” you sigh, tapping your fingers on your chin. 

Minho raises his eyebrows. His heartbeat is quickening-- depending on when you had amnesia, it’s a possible explanation for whatever’s happening. “Amnesia. That’s tough. Uh, how’d you get it? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I don’t mind,” you smile, turning back to him. “It was about two years ago, I think. I got in a car crash, but I got lucky. My cousin was with me, so the doctors knew my name and all my essential information. It would’ve been a lot worse if I didn’t know who I was, you know?”

He opens his mouth to ask another question, but he feels an arm slide around his neck. It’s Hyunjin, apparently escaped from the confines of Jisung’s tiny room. “Hi, Y/N,” he greets. “Are we any closer to those results?”

“Just about,” you exhale, standing up. “They’re printing, I’ll go get those for you guys.”

As soon as you’re out of earshot, Hyunjin murmurs, “Chan hyung told me what’s up. So, you think it’s her?”

“I don’t think,” Minho hisses. “I know. She said she got in a car crash and had amnesia two years ago, and it matches up with why she doesn’t recognize me. She still knows her name because of her cousin, and- it’s her, Hyunjin. It has to be.”

Hyunjin hesitates, apparently not as convinced as the older boy. “But if she was with her cousin, wouldn’t she know about you? I mean, if it was me, I’d tell my cousin about the guy she just broke up with.”

Minho almost answers, but you’re back, sliding a file across the table. “Get that to Jisung, okay?” you grin, sitting back down. “And come find me if you need something else. Nice talking to you, Minho.”

Snatching the file away, the younger boy guides Minho back to the room. “Hey. If you really think it’s her,” Hyunjin says softly before opening the door again, “go for it. You still have the texts saved, don’t you? Show her. Even if you can’t help her remember, you’ll get your closure.”

Quietly, Minho shakes his head. “I- I can’t. Even if she never broke up with me-- which isn’t possible-- I can’t know that she’s still here, still alive, and that she’ll never remember me.”

Hyunjin reaches over to shake Minho and argues, “But she hasn’t changed. If she loved you once, she can love you again, okay? Just... just try. For yourself.”

Before he can debate Hyunjin again, Seungmin opens the door with a fake scowl. “Hey, what took you so long?”

“Asshole,” Minho frowns back, glad for something to argue about. Seungmin’s always the perfect one to bicker with, his eye rolls as he backs away to let the two boys in the perfect way to rile Minho up. “Hey, don’t you roll your eyes at me!”

For all of his friend’s glances at him, glances that he lets slip by as he ruffles Jisung’s hair rougher than necessary, Minho can admit to himself that he won’t approach you again, at least not for the purpose of finding out what truly happened. It’s difficult, but he can even admit to himself why he wont.

He’s scared. Terrified, even, that he’ll only find out what he knew all along.

You’re good with faces.

It’s kind of a requirement to be a receptionist; after all, nothing makes people happier than being remembered, even if it’s something as simple as being recognized without an introduction while arriving to physical therapy. Besides, after struggling to get back to your normal life for two years, your biggest fear is to lose your memories again.

So when Jisung gets driven to physical therapy a week after you meet his friends, you instantly recognize his driver.

“Minho,” you smile, waving at him. He flushes for some reason, and you stifle a chuckle at the tint of pink in his pale cheeks. He’s cute; your first meeting just put you off a bit. “How’re you doing?”

“Don’t I get a greeting?” Jisung pouts, pushing through with his crutches. He’s joking, of course, so you only laugh fondly. “Well, you know why I’m here.”

You check him in with a nod, and call out after Minho, “You don’t have to stay with him for PT, you know. It’s going to be boring, you can come back out after helping him inside.”

Minho laughs, “Thanks for the tip. I’m definitely not staying with him, I’ll be right out.” Jisung’s protests follow them down the hall, and you return to your keyboard with a soft chuckle.

It’s true that after your first encounter with Minho, you wondered whether there was something about your life before the accident that Dahyun didn’t tell you. But your phone broke in the car wreck, and there must’ve been things that you didn’t tell your cousin. 

However, in the back of your mind, you can still hear the way Minho said your name. ‘Y/N’, he had breathed, so desperately. You had to have been important to him, too important for you to have never told anyone about him, but when he comes out of Jisung’s room, you assume the role of the friendly receptionist once again.

“Hey,” you wave. “Just so you know, Jisung’s scheduled for a full hour. I’m clocking out for the day in a couple minutes, but you can have him text you when he’s done so you can pick him up. I have to get going, I need to eat before I get on the tram, and it’s a long walk from here.”

Minho raises his eyebrows, shuffling his feet. “You’re clocking out?” At your nod, he clears his throat and offers, “If you haven’t eaten yet, I can drive you to the tteokbokki place near the tram station? I can drop you off, I won’t stay with you if you aren’t comfortable.”

You laugh at his awkwardness, though he’s charismatic enough to make it simply cute. “That would be great, actually. Just give me a second.” While you’re gathering your things, Minho shuffles aside, staring outside to the parking lot as if it’s genuinely interesting, and you crack a smile when you approach him. “Hey. I’m good to go.”

“Let’s go, then,” he smiles, and opens the door for you. The more you see of him, the more familiar he feels-- it really is as if you’ve met him before. Even his car feels like you recognize it, the steady thrum of the engine and the feel of worn leather beneath your fingertips something that you can’t quite put your finger on. Minho doesn’t speak much, though he puts on some music that feels vaguely familiar to you, some boy rapping over a simple beat.

Before you know it, you’ve arrived at the station, and it barely takes a couple minutes to walk down to the tteokbokki place. For some reason, you feel comfortable around Minho, safe, like you’ve felt with Felix and all his friends that you’ve met so far. Maybe the Australian boy attracts all the good people, you smile to yourself, or maybe you do.

“I’ll pay, what do you want?” Minho offers and takes his wallet out. Though you move to protest, he smiles and holds up a hand, “I insist. You’ve had to deal with me this much already, it’s the least I can do. Besides, you’ll be seeing me a lot, with Jisung’s PT.”

You can only agree and watch him rattle off your order to the cashier. Minho’s smile is almost the same for everyone, his eyes curving and his teeth bright, but it’s the eyes that make the difference. It’s interesting. “Are you the only one of Jisung’s friends who can drive?”

“Ah, not really. The 00 liners and Jeongin don’t have their licenses, of course,” he hums and hands his credit card over. “But Channie is busy with work all the time, and Changbin feels like Jisung bullies him. So that leaves me.”

“I see,” you exhale, following him to an empty table. “You must make quite a bit to afford a car and a parking space. What do you do?”

“Me?” Minho clarifies, even though he’s the only one you could be talking to. “I’m a dancer. Mostly a backup dancer, but sometimes I teach classes or choreograph for idols. I don’t make that much, but I drive all over Seoul, so I thought a car would be a good investment.”

“Not a bad decision,” you smile. “Especially since you saved me the walk over here. You know that every time you drive Jisung over, I’ll be forcing you to give me a ride, right?”

You’re joking, of course; you barely know Minho. But something about your tone changes the glance in his eyes, and his grin fades the slightest bit. Suddenly, he moves towards his bag. “C- can I show you something?”

“Sure,” you shrug. “As long as it’s not... you know.”

“You’ve got jokes,” Minho mumbles, digging through the pockets for his phone. “I like that.”

A comfortable silence falls over the two of you, slightly heightened by his frantic scrolling. You greet and thank the ahjussi who brings you your food, still waiting for him to show you. Before he does, though, Minho looks up with a hesitant expression. “Y/N. Whatever I say, you can’t be alarmed, okay?”

“I can’t make that promise,” you shake your head, “but I’ll do my best.”

He inhales-- then exhales. “Your name is Y/N Y/L/N. You were born on _ _/ _ _/ _ _ _ _, and you were born here. You attended college at Seoul University, though you’ve probably forgotten your major. Your parents’ names are __ Y/L/N and __ Y/L/N, and your cousin is Kim Dahyun.”

Instantly, you bolt out of your seat, ready to run. “H-how do you know that?” Your voice shakes, and your eyes dart from Minho to the booth. He doesn’t look like a threat-- in fact, he looks pained, biting down on his lip before sliding his phone across the table. “What is that?”

“Just take a look.”

When you gingerly slide your eyes to the screen, you gasp; it displays what you assume to be an old photo of you-- and Minho. You remember Dahyun showing you pictures of yourself with that hairstyle-- high school, she said-- but you definitely don’t remember seeing any pictures with Minho. He’s unmistakable even in the uniform, and you’re laughing at him in a way that suggests what you’ve suspected since meeting him-- you were close, to say the least. “We were... friends?” you whisper, barely daring to meet his eyes. When he shakes his head, you lower your fist, previously held up to punch, and say softly, “We loved each other. Like that.”

“Yeah,” Minho sighs, taking his phone back. “By the way, does the date 5/19 ring a bell to you?”

“It was the day I woke up,” you answer. Suddenly, your throat is too tight to swallow, and you take your place next to him cautiously. “They... they told me I’d never get my memories back that day. What does it mean to you?”

Minho bites his lip and hands you his phone again. “It was the day you broke up with me.”

"Lee Minho,” you read aloud, “we need to break up. Ouch, that does not sound like me.”

He winces but tries to play it off with a chuckle, “Yeah, I know. I had to read that.”

“We have dated for years, but we...”

You frown and shake your head, scrolling through the text again even though you’re sure that you didn’t miss anything. “The wording, the phrasing... it doesn’t sound like me.” But that’s you on the profile picture, the exact photo of you that Dahyun showed you to gain your trust that first day in the hospital. You raise your head to look at Minho, who’s still staring at you. “This is fucked up.”

“You’re telling me,” he sighs, plucking his phone away. “I tried to text you back after this, tried to call you, but you never picked up. I did all I could, but I watched you leave. So... I think you understand why I was so desperate when I saw you.”

“I think I do,” you say, with your voice soft. It makes sense, now, why Minho looked like he was seeing a ghost when he caught that first glimpse of your face. Because you were a ghost, at least to him, somehow back from the dead in the lobby of the tiny hospital you worked in. “They told me my phone was dead. That’s why I didn’t have any of my old contacts, or my information.”

Minho fills your silence. “And that’s why you never saw my texts, or heard my calls. I- I’m so sorry, that I blamed you at all.”

You catch his wrist and try to smile, “Hey, I don’t blame you for blaming me. It isn’t possible for me to have texted you this with a broken phone and no memories, so... whoever did text you was an asshole. You can blame them all you like.”

His eyes flick over your face, almost like he’s committing you to memory in case you become a ghost again. “Yeah.” But the alarm rings, ten minutes before the last tram home leaves, and Minho’s phone buzzes at the same time. “Um. Can... can we talk about this again? Next time I see you?”

“Of course,” you answer. Maybe you’ll regret that promise, but you know that you’ll regret it more if you never search for what actually happened. And the glow to Minho’s smile when you say ‘yes’ follows you all the way onto the tram, or more specifically, the look in his eyes.

You’d already noticed that Minho looked differently at different people. His gaze was fond at Jisung, sometimes annoyed, and his eyes crinkled in a polite smile in front of the booth workers or your fellow receptionists. You had just never been able to tell how he looked at you, because it was strange, an expression you didn’t recognize.

But staring at his newly-inputted contact on your phone, you realize what it is. Minho looks at you like he knows you inside out, like he loves you more than anything else in the world. 

And you aren’t sure which is worse.

Felix isn’t a good liar; from the first time you met, and he told you that you didn’t look horrible in that grimy hospital gown of yours, you knew that he’d never be able to keep a secret. So when you don’t know how to move forward from the whole other side of yourself that you just uncovered, he has to be the first one you talk to.

“Y/N!” He shouts your name with his hands cupped around his mouth despite only being a couple feet away from you, and he plops down onto the stool next to you. “What’s up?”

“Felix, what has Minho told you about me? Or, about Y/N?” He tenses up at the question, and you can’t blame him; you usually aren’t so direct, and it must be difficult to tell you about his friend’s secrets.

But Felix bites his lip and sighs, looks up at the ceiling as if it’ll tell him what to do. “Um, well... he said you guys were classmates. High school and college, but you only started dating when you were 17. He never showed me pictures of you, so I assumed that you hurt him really bad.” You wince at that, but motion for the Australian boy to continue. “Minho hyung... he never dated while I’ve been friends with him. We all thought it was because he was never over you, and I guess he still isn’t.”

“Well, shit,” you sigh, sinking into your hands. “I feel horrible now.”

“Why?” Felix places a gentle hand on your shoulder and shakes you lightly. “He said that you didn’t think it was you who sent the text, and Dahyun just didn’t tell you about him? It’s not your fault.”

You only shake your head hopelessly and attempt to explain, “I didn’t want to get back into this. I trusted Dahyun to tell me everything, and after 2 years, I find out that I had a boyfriend? Who I ‘broke up with’, and who I hurt really bad. I have to know now, for Minho’s sake if not for mine.”

Felix sighs, “Look, Y/N, I’m sure Minho hyung will understand if you don’t want to get into it all again. He- he loved you, but I think he knows you aren’t who used to be. I think.”

“No, Felix- he never told me that he wanted me to find the answer,” you say quietly. “I just... I can see that he’ll never be able to disassociate me with the Y/N he knew. My face, my mannerisms- Dahyun says I act the same as I used to, and that’s too painful for him if we’ll never know the truth.”

He pauses, then passes you the coffee that a barista slides across the counter. Maybe Felix doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what to tell you. But he murmurs in his familiar deep voice, “You’re kind, Y/N, but you have to think about yourself, okay? It’ll hurt Minho to not know, but it’ll hurt you to find out. And I don’t want to see either of you with a broken heart.”

The next time you see Minho, you find yourself analyzing every one of his movements, as if the tiniest hint of familiarity will bring your memories of him back to you.

You’re only drinking coffee together and trying to act like nothing else is between you, but you’re staring at his hands when he cracks his knuckles every so often. You wish that the way his lips curl into a smile was familiar, and you wish you recognized the way his eyelashes frame the brown of his eyes. But as much as you think you’ve seen something before, the fact remains that you barely know a single thing about Minho, while there’s nothing about you that you can hide from him.

It’s been years since you hated how little you remembered. Back when you first learned that the first twenty years of your life had been wasted, you screamed out for whatever all-seeing being to restore your life, and you had no idea if you could go back to the life you had been living with absolutely no memory of it.

Dahyun said she showed you everything. She brought you back to your family home, told you what she could about your parents, who hugged you with tears in their eyes. You stayed there at first, but you couldn’t handle the glances that your family made at you, couldn’t handle the way they still mourned the loss of their daughter.

You didn’t know enough about what used to be to miss it. But when you speak to Minho, you realize that there is something you would miss, something that you would want to chase. And so, you can’t know what it is.

“Y/N, you okay?” He asks, the smile still on his face from telling you about the cats you helped him pick out when he got his own place.

Shaking your head, you nod. “Yeah, sorry for zoning out. I’m just... thinking.”

“About what to do, right?” Minho takes your silence for agreement, and he turns to the window with a sigh. “Yeah. I’ve been thinking too. I shouldn’t have sprung that on you, I was selfish not to think how it would make you curious about your old self.”

“No,” you sigh. “I get it. You had to tell me, I imagine it’s still painful to see my face.”

Minho shakes his head, tilting his head as if that’ll let him see more of you. “No, it isn’t painful at all. I see you analyzing me, though, trying to recognize me.”

Heat rises to your ears, and you try to hide it by flicking your eyes away from his face. “Was I that obvious? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Minho.”

“It’s okay,” he shrugs. He cracks his knuckles again; you imagine that you used to put your hands over his to get him to stop, but you brush the thought away as fast as you can. “What do you want to do, though? It’s too difficult to stay away from each other in a town like this, especially when we have a mutual friend. But I’ll try my best to do what you want me to.”

You bite your lip and tap your hands on your knee. To be truthful, you’ve known what you wanted to do for a long time; you know exactly what you want to say, and you know who you want to say it to. “I want us to talk to Dahyun,” you answer. “I think... I can’t ask her about it. But I want to see how she reacts to seeing you.”

When he doesn’t respond, you almost move to touch his arm. “Minho? You can tell me if you don’t walk to talk to her, I won’t force you to do it.”

But he turns, tries to disguise the rueful smile on his face. He fails, of course, and you draw your hand back. “No, I... I’m sorry, that just reminded me of something. I’ll come with you.”

“Okay. I’m going to lunch with her tomorrow,” you explain, scrolling through the calendar on your phone, “and I think that’s the time. I’ll just say you’re my friend or something, and we’ll see how she reacts.”

Minho frowns, “Is it suspicious to randomly bring a friend to lunch with your cousin? Or do you do that often?”

You sigh at that and pause your scrolling to think. “No, you’re right. I think I’ll have to say you’re my boyfriend or something, then she’ll be excited to expect you.”

“Boyfriend? How do you know I’m not dating someone already?” Minho jokes. You laugh lightly and push his arm without thinking, but his smile only grows as he protests, “I’m serious! Do you not think I’d be dating someone by this time?”

“I see the way you look at me,” you chuckle, “If you were dating someone, I’d feel bad for them.”

Silence settles again, and you wince, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have... shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, should be me that’s sorry,” he mumbles, ruffling his hair. “I shouldn’t be making you uncomfortable, I know that you’re a different person at this point. Uh, could you send me the location of the restaurant? And the time?”

You recognize his attempt to change the subject, and you accept it gratefully. “Yeah. It’s noon tomorrow, but I think we should arrive together.”

“I’ll pick you up from the hospital,” he smiles, moving to crack his knuckles yet again.

Maybe it’s out of nervousness, maybe it’s just a habit, but you move to stop it this time, your hand resting gently over his. “Stop that,” you mumble to hide the heat in your cheeks. “I read somewhere that it hurts your knuckles. You’ll get arthritis.”

“You work in a hospital, you should know that that isn’t how it works,” Minho snickers, but he doesn’t move your hands off him. Strangely, this feels familiar, like you’ve done it before, like it’s always been comfortable. So you don’t move, only sip your coffee with your spare hand and try not to think about what could’ve been.

Minho opens the door for you yet again, bowing slightly when you pass through the doorway. “She’s here already, yeah?” His voice is soft when he speaks to you, and his hands in his pockets when he catches up to you again in the restaurant. He’s the picture of calmness, except for the way his eyes flick around the restaurant like he can recognize your cousin before you do. “I haven’t seen her in years.”

“She went to the same school as us, didn’t she?” you mumble, looking through your texts again for the table number Dahyun texted you. “She’s a year younger, she told me.”

“Yeah, but Dahyun hung out with us a lot,” Minho explains, “she was pretty cool. Funny, too, I don’t know if she’s showed you her eagle dance yet?”

You laugh at that, turning onto the stairs. “She has, actually. Made me laugh instead of cry. I appreciate that about her.”

Dahyun’s easy enough to recognize; her hair’s bright blue among a sea of dark-haired people seated at the tables, and she’s a good head shorter than the people who sit around her. You rush up from behind her and wrap your arms around her neck, almost putting the girl in a headlock. “Y/N,” she complains, but there’s a smile on her face as she struggles against your grip. “Get off, I’m here to see your boy--”

Her smile instantly disappears when she sees Minho, but she rearranges it quick enough to bow to him. “Hi. I’m Kim Dahyun, Y/N’s cousin.”

So she wants to play like that. You give Dahyun another squeeze before sitting next to Minho on the other side of the table. “So, this is my boyfriend, Minho. What do you think?” you joke, keeping your tone as light as you can.

“He’s cute,” Dahyun answers. Usually, she’s good at keeping a hold of herself, but her voice sounds stifled this time, like she wants to lean over and punch him in the face or something. “I... Y/N, where’d you guys meet?”

Minho steps in to answer, “At where she works in the hospital. I keep dropping my friend off for PT, and I just keep seeing her.” That part’s true, at least, though you’re surprised at how charismatic and natural Minho seems while he lies. “She told me how she started working at the hospital downtown after being treated there, so I guess that’s how I never saw her before.”

Dahyun sighs, “Do you know what she was treated for?”

“Amnesia,” he frowns, “what else? Y/N told me that when we first met.”

A beat of silence passes, and you’re almost sure that Dahyun can see right through your lies, but your thoughts are cut off when she blurts out, “You’re lying, right? Minho, I don’t know if you’re lying to Y/N or if the both of you are lying to me, but you can’t be... you can’t be telling everything about this. She broke up with you years ago.”

“We all know that’s not true,” you say softly. Maybe there’s a hint of deadliness to your tone, though, because when you lean forward, Dahyun scoots back in her chair. “You told me my phone was dead on the day I woke up, the day that the texts were sent. How could I have sent those texts, from a shattered phone, without the contact that you wouldn’t tell me?”

The blue-haired girl presses her lips together, but she says, “Y/N, I don’t know what you’re accusing me of here.”

“No one’s accusing you of anything,” Minho shakes his head. “But we have to know. What happened here?”

Dahyun’s voice is almost too quiet to hear when she finally answers, “Minho, you would’ve been wrecked. And- letting her know that she would never be able to remember you... would’ve wrecked her more.”

You can’t keep your voice from getting louder when you ask, “So?” Minho squeezes your hand and you soften before saying again, “So? What did you do, Dahyun?”

“I texted him in place of you,” she blurts, clasping her hand over her mouth. Her eyes must reflect the hurt you feel, because you lash back when she reaches for you. “I... I never told you about Minho or any of your friends. I’m sorry, Y/N, I did what I thought was best, and all these years, I didn’t know... I didn’t know how I could fix that.”

Minho says nothing close to what you think he will, and he’s nowhere near as angry as you are. “I know why you did it, Dahyun,” he says. There are tears brimming in your cousin’s eyes, and you’re sure that Minho’s doing his best not to let them spill. “But- you knew me, knew Y/N. I don’t think you should’ve made that decision for us.”

“You definitely shouldn’t have,” you almost snap. You stand, tugging Minho up with you by his hand. “I... We have to go. I just need time to think, Dahyun.”

And if you were thinking rationally, you’d never leave like that. You’d never leave a conversation half-finished, with an angry end, but you can’t concentrate about anything other than the warmth of Minho’s hand in yours as you storm out of the restaurant.

Once you are hidden in an alleyway, he holds you by your elbows, as if he’s trying to stop you from running away. “Y/N,” he says softly, “look at me.”

When you do, you’re surprised at how blurry his face is, the shadows and highlights of his face swirled together in your tears. “We know now,” Minho continues. “I know you’re hurt right now, but I just want to say that you don’t have to know what to do now. You... we have time to think about what we can say about that information.”

“Stop,” you cry out, tearing your hands out of his grip to press them to your eyes. “Stop being so good to me. I know you only remember how much you loved the old me, and we have the same face, but we aren’t the same, Minho, you don’t love me. So- you don’t have to be so good to me just because you used to--”

He pulls you into a hug. It’s a bit aggressive, and you collide with him a little harder than you would in a normal hug, but against his chest, you can hear the sobs that he stifles in case anyone’s listening. “I’m not doing this because I used to love you, Y/N. I’m doing this because I think I can love you again.”

“That’s worse!” You push him away slightly, just enough to untangle yourself and your own heart. “Minho, that’s so much worse. You- you’ll never love me, you know. You’ll never stop seeing that Y/N in me. I just. I need to think.”

For the second time in that day, you end another conversation like you never would, but you keep your head down to hide the tear tracks on your face. There’s nothing you can say without hurting someone you seriously care about, no matter how much you wish you didn’t care about either of them.

You do. God, you do, and it hurts so much.

Jisung hobbles his own way into the lobby. He’s fast on his crutches, actually, and he almost doesn’t need you rushing to open the door for him. “Hey,” you smile, though you’re sure that your eyes are still puffy under your makeup. “Alone today?”

“Hyungs are all busy,” he pouts, though he obviously doesn’t really mind. “Y/N, have you checked your email recently?”

“Uh. No?” you answer, raising your eyebrows as you guide him down the hall. “Why? Did you send me something weird?”

He moves the crutch to smack the back of your leg, grinning even when you poke him as hard as you can without literally hurting him. “No. But there’s something in there I think you’ll want to see. I’ll see you in an hour, Y/N, hopefully.”

All of Jisung’s cryptic messages leave you scowling at the closed PT door, then frowning all the way back to your desk. You click fast through your inbox and ignore all the other messages for the one at the top, the one from j.one@naver.com, entitled ‘ywb’.

It’s a video message, and when you click on it, Jisung appears. “Hi, Y/N. I’ll keep this short,” he smiles through the screen. “But this message isn’t really from me. No matter what, I want you to watch the whole thing, can you promise me that?” You nod even though he’s in a whole different room, and he flashes a thumbs up like he can see it. “Cool. Enjoy, and try not to cry.”

The screen goes black, then flashes to a girl running through the snow. But she turns, and you gasp, because it’s you-- it’s a beanie and a scarf that you still own, sitting in your closet, but it’s a smile that you have only seen in pictures. And when you see the look in your eyes, you know who has to be behind the camera, and as much as you wish you wouldn’t, you’ve promised, and you keep watching.

Because every time that the outfit and the scene changes, your smile stays the same. You only see flashes of a hand, the peal of laughter under the soft music layered over, but you know. It has to be Minho, and you almost yearn to be the person in the videos again, grinning at him like there’s nothing else you can think of.

Slowly, he starts appearing in the video too, just flashes of the two of you singing at the top of your lungs in a karaoke booth, a short clip of you squirting him right in the face with a water gun. And the smile from the video makes its way onto your face, completely unconscious as you stare at the video.

Hours could’ve passed in minutes, and you wouldn’t have known, wouldn’t break from your trance until the screen goes dark again. But this time, Minho’s face appears, his features lit by a bright desk light in the darkness of his room. “Hi, Y/N,” he says softly, running his hands through his hair. “Thank you for watching this far. Uh... I just wanted to show you those videos. Because I just deleted them.”

He hums for a second before continuing, “I realized you were right. As long as I hold on to who you used to be, I’ll never be able to truly love you right now, even though I really want to. You aren’t the same person as you were, and even though you might not think so, I want to know you right now.”

Minho’s eyes curve sweetly when he reaches for the camera and fiddles with it. He smiles, “So if you can believe me, I want to take those videos again, with you this time. I’m more than willing-- no, I want nothing more than to get to know you again. So just... call me. Whenever you see this. I don’t really trust Jisung to get this to you in time.”

You manage to laugh through the blurriness in your eyes, but you’re already moving to pick up your phone when the video ends, Minho’s hand the last thing you see on the screen. “Hello?”

“Hey.” You can hear something in the background, probably the other people in his studio, but they get quieter as Minho talks. “I guess you watched it?”

“I watched it.” You save the video to the drive always plugged into the laptop, but there’s a small smile on your face as you imagine Minho staring into the mirror of the dance room as he talks to you. “How fast can you get here?”

“Uh. It takes 5 minutes to drive to you, so you can expect me in 10,” he answers. The smile on his face is audible, and your own grin grows when he covers the mic to shout at someone. “I won’t look gross, promise. But, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” 

He ends the call before you can say anything in return, but you smile at the phone screen all the way until you poke your head around the corner to shout at Seulgi. “Hey! I’m clocking out in 10!” Maybe the grin in the video is familiar after all as you reach for your bag.

While you’ll never get your past back, there’s always the future. You will never get the perfectly fresh start you want, but it’s a start nonetheless. It’s the step towards something new that you’ve been needing, and it’s with the person that you never thought you’d find again.

[boasamishipper]

otp questions for icemav of course, but also harry/perry from kiss kiss bang bang

1. Are they more “cute forehead kisses” or “hot making out” kind of couple? Maybe one prefers first option and the other one the second? How do they deal, in that case?

Ice and Mav are more of a "hot making out" kind of couple when they first get together, but as the years go by they develop a fondness for cute forehead kisses and the like as well - especially once they're married and can engage in the occasional public display of affection. Mav likes it when Ice kisses him on the nose and on the forehead, and Ice is a fan of cheek kisses and neck kisses, and both enjoy making out lol. Whatever feels most natural at the moment is what they go for.

Harry and Perry are definitely a "hot making out" kind of couple - the more cutesy types of kisses aren't really their thing, especially not in public. Occasionally Harry will bring Perry his morning coffee and kiss him on the forehead, or on the top of his head, and Perry will do his utmost to pretend not to like it.

2. If they wanted to shower their significant other with affection, how would they do that? Dinner in some fancy restaurant, gift, kisses and cuddles or an evening together on a couch with hot tea and very intimate talk?

Mav would treat Ice to dinner in a fancy restaurant, followed by a romantic evening featuring wine and rose petals between the bedsheets. Ice would cook Mav's favorite meal and they'd either go out for a night on the town or they'd spend the evening together at home with a stupid movie on TV (while they make out and/or have sex on the couch).

Perry is not really one to shower anybody with big displays of affection, least of all his significant other - with Harry, he shows his affection through touch (holding hands, kisses, embraces, cuddling, etc.), and calls him an idiot a little less often (or just with more fondness than normal). Harry tries now and then to shower Perry with big displays of affection, except in typical Harry fashion his attempts always end in disaster - his gift is stolen, his dinner reservation is canceled, Perry and Harry are kidnapped by the people they're investigating on their way to go to the theater, and so on and so forth. Perry likes old musicals, expensive whiskey, and Harry. Harry does his best to provide.

3. Are they comfortable with showing each other affection in public? If one is and the other one not, how do they interact in public?

Ice and Mav become more comfortable with PDA after they get married - Ice takes a little longer to get used to actually being able to show Mav affection in public, to just be out after so long in the closet, but Mav is patient with him and helps him loosen up. Their PDA doesn't really go further than chaste kisses and holding hands, at least at work functions (where at least half of Mav's sentences start with My husband and I); when they're with friends Mav will put his head against Ice's shoulder when they're seated, maybe sit in his lap as a joke, or Ice will stroke Mav's hair, kiss his hairline.

Perry thinks PDA is stupid until Harry gets flirted with one too many times in front of him; after that, Perry makes a habit out of touching Harry in some capacity, kissing Harry in public, flirting with him, but after a while it becomes less out of jealousy / staking his claim and more of something he actually enjoys doing. Harry flirts right back - he has an entire notebook's worth of pet names for Perry (ranging from baby to Per-bear) - and is pleased that his not-so-evil scheme of being flirted with in front of Perry resulted in Perry being more affectionate with him in public.

4. Do they have pet names? Do they like to embarrass each other in front of their friends/family/coworkers with some silly ones? Or do they keep it with basics, like “sweetheart” or “honey”?

Mav and Ice occasionally call each other by their ranks - mostly as foreplay - and 'baby' when they're feeling particularly romantic, but Mav and Ice are usually just Mav and Ice or Mitchell and Kazansky with one another and in front of their friends/family/coworkers.

Perry and Harry's list of pet names for one another are Varied. There are the tried and trues baby and sweetheart, and fond versions of idiot, dick, asshole, pretentious fuck, moron, and stupid fuck, and (in Harry's case, because Perry Will Not Do This) pet versions of their real names, e.g. Per or Per-Bear.

5. If one of them was away for longer time, like a week, how their significant other would greet them back?

Mav and Ice would do their best to keep in touch while the other was away, and would greet the other with Much Enthusiasm when they'd return. Afterwards, to celebrate the other's return, they'd go out to dinner, or take a couple day vacation, or just go straight to bed together and celebrate Properly in the morning. Either way sex is definitely involved.

Harry is more enthusiastic when Perry returns after being away for a longer time - he gets the house clean and/or the office in order and then pretty much jumps Perry the second he gets through the door. (Not that Perry minds.) Perry tries to play it blasé when Harry comes back from an extended trip - he pretends to not have remembered Harry's arrival date, when he's had it circled on his calendar from pretty much the second Harry walked out the door - but is absolutely terrible at it. That blasé attitude lasts about five minutes before Perry and Harry end up in bed with one another. The phrases "So you did miss me" and "shut up Harry" are very well worn by now.

6. How often do they say “I love you” to one another? On daily basics, leaving to work, with a kiss on a cheek and quick “love u, bye!” or it’s more rare and more emotional?

Daily (or almost daily) basics the longer they're together for Icemav, in more rare and emotional cases for Harry and Perry. Harry and Perry are quicker to throw around the occasional sarcastic Love you too babe and I can't believe I love you, but just regular I love yous are reserved for more serious occasions.

7. Do they keep track of each other during the day? Asking how is that important meeting going and texting “I <3 u”? Or they just text each other grocery list and talk when they are both home?

Harry and Perry text each other a lot. Harry is a magnet for trouble, and Perry texts him often during work to make sure he's doing his job (and, during more dangerous cases, because he wants to know if Harry's alright). They text about work more often than not and do talk more often about non-work-related things when they're at home, but there is some overlap. Harry loves it when he can get Perry to go on long rants about something he's passionate about over text when they're both supposed to be working.

Ice and Mav work together as well, but due to the nature of their jobs they don't text each other a lot during work, and catch up on their days at home. They don't have a lot of serious conversations over text either; texts between them contain anything from grocery lists, cat pics, complaints about students, reminders to pick up dry-cleaning, memes, links to interesting articles, strings of emoji, and - yes - many instances of "I <3 u".

8. How long into their relationship they are, when they say “I love you” for the first time? Who says that first? In what situation?

I'm fond of several scenarios for Harry and Perry exchange I Love Yous for the first time - quiet moments, Harry-does-something-stupid-and-gets-injured moments, Perry-does something-stupid-and-gets-injured moments - but the one thing that stays consistent is that it is a While after they've officially gotten together, and Perry is the first one to say it (when Harry is not expecting it).

My main headcanon for Icemav involves their relationship going from friends to FWBs to lovers over the course of a few years, with Mav proposing right before DADT goes into effect. I'm all for Big Dramatic I Love Yous, and no one is more dramatic than these two when they want to be, but honestly, I feel like their first I Love You would come during a quiet moment, not long after they've officially begun a relationship. Maybe Mav says it to Ice over breakfast and Ice responds in kind without even thinking about it. Maybe Ice says it to Mav when they're cuddling in bed. The sky's the limit re: potential situations and who says it first, but I like the idea of it happening during a Quiet Moment.

9. Do they have some unusual ways of saying “I love you”? Squeezing hands, that they both know what means?

(princess bride voice) That day, Harry was amazed to discover that when Perry called him an idiot, what he meant was, "I love you." (I mean, there are a Lot of instances where Perry calls Harry an idiot in the fullest sense of the word, but the point stands lol.)

Ice told Mav once not long after they officially got together that he thought 'boyfriend' sounded juvenile and 'partner' felt too formal, so Mav just stuck to referring to Ice as his wingman. They both have a certain fondness for the word now, and (princess bride voice) When They Say 'You Can Be My Wingman Anytime', What They Actually Mean Is I Love You.

10. How they show affection to the other one in everyday life? Do they cook dinner for each other? Or wash the dishes, even though it’s not their turn, cause they know the other one hates it?

For both couples, it's about the little things. Ice and Mav trade off chores, but if one of them is working late, the other will be responsible for dinner and/or cleaning - Ice Hates shoveling the snow, so Mav hires one of the local neighborhood kids to shovel their driveway and the walkway so Ice won't have to. Perry and Harry may argue about Harry's organization skills (or lack thereof), but Perry knows that if he asks Harry to get something important done, that important thing Will Get Done, and it will get done well, and Harry will get a head start on the work needed to be finished next.

[hollyxqx]

BAD FRIENDS  ;  MIN YOONGI  ;  ONE

↪ PAIRING: reader x yoongi / reader x seokjin ↪ GENRE: friends to lovers to enemies to lovers, 90s!au, college!au, angst, smut, hurt, comfort, FLUFF ↪ SUMMARY: hooking up with your childhood best friend was never your plan, but neither was falling in love with him either. he’s troubled but his heart is gold. when you move away for college, things start to take a turn.

↪ WARNINGS: TW! mentions of alcohol&physical abuse, yoongi’s dad is a terrible human, minor descriptions of violence, smut, explicit sex, recreational drug use, but despite that there is a lot of love and fluff, so much pining between these two idiots in luv

↪ WORD COUNT: 20k (it’s a big one!!!)

series masterlist

It Began As A Mistake

The shared wall between your houses is far too thin, you often think. You hear a lot of what you’re not supposed to. The mask the Min family next door displays to the world is shattered for you every night when the raised voices and banging starts.

You expect Yoongi will be requesting your company soon, if the shouting and screaming through the wall tonight is any indication to go by. It’s a pattern that has become more frequent, especially as of late, but has been going on for as long as you could remember.. It’s routine now. 

Not that you mind. Yoongi is your closest friend. The longest relationship you’ve had with any other human being (aside from your parents) is the one you share with Yoongi. You met him the day you moved in next door at the tender age of eight. He had been playing in his front yard, throwing and catching a basketball against a hoop attached to the brick wall of his house. You don’t remember much about the first meeting other than laughing at his enormous oversized shirt that reached his knees. 

According to your mother, it was a fast friendship. By the end of that first day you had proudly declared to her that Yoongi was your bestsest frien. She always recalls the story with a fond smile on her face, given how much she adores him. As an only child, Yoongi was like the brother you never had. And that’s how the relationship continued. Innocent and almost sibling-like.

Until it wasn’t. 

The memory of the first time you slept together is hazy. You don’t know exactly who initiated the first move but in the moment it made sense, as if it was the right thing to do. Yoongi had snuck out, climbed in your bedroom window as he usually did when he wanted to escape his turbulent home life and made himself at home in your room.

He had never been particularly vocal when it came to expressing his emotions. That was just Yoongi; silent, stoic, strong. It was only with you that he would allow himself to even be marginally vulnerable. Occasionally the veil would slip ever so slightly and you’d get a peek of the turmoil underneath and every time you did, you wanted to take that pain away from him any way you could. 

So when you held him in your arms and he murmured into the skin of your neck how much you meant to him, you knew you would do anything for him. Which is why when his lips found yours you kissed him back. When he slowly removed every item of clothing you wore, you let him. When he fucked you on your childhood bed, slowly and purposefully, you granted him access to your body. Whatever Yoongi wanted, you allowed him to take from you.

If it meant bringing some happiness and light into his life, it was worth it. You loved him, after all. 

As if on cue, you hear a quiet tap on your window. You look up from the book that you were unsuccessfully trying to distract yourself with to see Yoongi, peering at you underneath a mop of shaggy black hair. When you notice him he gives you the briefest of smiles, but you can see in his eyes he’s anything but happy.

“Figured you’d be over soon.” You say quietly as you push the window open to let him in. “He’s bad tonight, huh?”

You were referring to Yoongi’s father. The center of the hurricane of chaos that is the Min family. Mr Min had a serious drinking problem, and whenever he had one too many it was like he transformed into someone else entirely. Mrs Min and Yoongi took the brunt of his wrath. Although Yoongi never outright said it, you had long since deduced the violence his father inflected. Mrs Min had ‘walked into a door’ too many times for you to count.

“He’s an asshole.” Yoongi mutters, kicking off his sneakers. “I waited until he passed out, there’s no way I would leave that monster alone with Mom.”

“You wanna talk about it?” You ask, scooching over to make space for him on the bed beside you. He shakes his head ‘no’ as he flops face down on the mattress. Rarely does he want to open up. He lays on his front, head resting on the back of his palms. “I’m sorry Yoongi.” You rub his back affectionately.

“You should be, I cut my hand climbing up the trellis.” His muffled voice replies. “Maybe invest in a rope ladder for me.”

“Noted. Now let me see your hand.” 

Yoongi allows you to look at the small cut on his hand. It’s nothing serious but you go and fetch a plaster from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom anyway. On your way back to your room you pause outside your parents bedroom and listen. Their television is off, which means they must be asleep. As much as they love Yoongi, catching him in your room after hours would probably not go down well.

“Thanks.” Yoongi mumbles once the band aid is secured. “Can I sleep here tonight?” He asks quietly.

“You don’t need to ask” You tell him this every time, but he never listens. Instead he pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly as if you’re the only thing tethering him to reality. He may not pour his heart out to you but his need for affection, for love, is clear when he holds you like this.

“I had such a shitty night.” He says into your skin, face buried in the crook of your neck. His breath tickles. “Just wanna forget it.” He presses a kiss to your throat. “Wanna forget everything that’s not you right now.”

Your stomach involuntarily somersaults at his words. He’s not romantically interested in you.. You know this.. He’s your best friend. In the two years you’ve been sleeping together you’ve worked hard to keep any feelings at bay, but when he says things like that, your heart races. Your phisiolocical reaction betrays your head. 

It’s not the same for Yoongi and you know that. He doesn’t get butterflies. He’s just blowing off steam. It is why you constantly remind yourself about the reality of the situation. It’s just sex. If you even allow yourself to think otherwise for a moment you’ll get carried away and that can only mean one thing; the end of your friendship.

He leads you back to the bed, laying you down on the mattress before his lips are on yours. Yoongi is a phenomenal kisser, a fact you're reminded of when he nips at your bottom lip before sliding his tongue in your mouth. It’s slow and passionate, something you’ve grown to love about his kissing style. He knows just how much to give and take.

You’re hot all over from his touch. His roaming hands caress your body, his touch gradually growing more desperate. It’s heavy breathing and grinding and intense. Like he can’t get close enough to you. “Yoongi,” You pant as he pulls your shirt up and over your head. 

“Hmm sweetheart?” He asks distractedly, eyes on your now naked breasts. The pet names only ever come out during sex. Leaning forward he cups them in his hand, kissing all over your chest. He takes one of your hardened nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue over it, sending electricity straight down your spine. His mouth is sinful.

“I-I don’t have a - “ You moan a little when you feel his clothed hardness press between your legs as he moves to your other breast. Your hands fly to his hair, anchoring him to your chest.“Yoongi, I don’t have any condoms.” You manage to get out. 

He carries on what he’s doing but hums against your flesh, “Did we finish that pack already?”

“Y-yeah.” You stutter as he kisses his way down your navel. Yoongi hooks his thumbs in your shorts and drags them, along with your panties, down your legs. He kneels between your thighs and grips an ankle in each hand, bending your legs up and outwards and open. “I meant to pick some up.”

“Hmm,” Yoongi replies, once again distracted as he settles down on his chest between your spread thighs. Most of your hook ups begin this way. He reads your body so well now, after two years of doing this together he has every tip and trick down to a science. Spit sloppy kisses land on the soft meat of your inner thigh before his tongue makes it way in between your lower lips making your breath hitch.

He loves having his hair tugged and pulled whenever he’s eating you out, so your hands wind themselves through his dark locks. He grunts at the contact but still takes his time even as you tug on his hair, encouraging him. “God, Yoongi.” You whine quietly and breathlessly. “Feels amazing.”

His hands hook underneath your thighs, legs resting over his shoulder,, pulling your mound closer to him as his tongue begins to flick faster against your clit. It’s so hard to be quiet when he plays your body like this. You clutch at the sheets beneath you and a pillow simultaneously in a hopeless attempt at remaining silent.

“Look at you,” Yoongi breaks away, peering up at you through his bangs. There’s a dark desire in his eyes and your arousal on his lips. You can’t help but wonder if he loves the control aspect of making you feel good. “I can tell you’re barely holding it together. Fuckin’ needy for me. Do you want to cum like this? Or with my fingers too?”

“No.” You whisper and he quirks a skeptical brow.  “I want to cum with you inside me Yoongi.”

“We don’t have condoms.” He reminds you, languidly licking a stripe up your pussy, eliciting a shudder out of you. He slips one arm back underneath your leg so fingers can toy with the outline of your entrance. “As much as I’d love to feel you...I’ll get some tomorrow for us.”

You let a muffled cry as he slips a finger inside of your wet heat, curling it expertly. “A-ah, Yoon -” You gasp as he pumps it slowly. “I’m on birth control.”

His motions come to a frustrating hault. “Since when?” 

You had been on it for a while, not because you were having a lot of casual sex but just for your the sake of your period (something you didn’t feel like would particularly interest your best friend). Yoongi and you had long since established practicing safe sex so you carried on using condoms. “A few months.” 

“Are you...are you with other people?” He asks and you can’t believe he’s asking this with his fingers literally inside you. 

“Yoongi I’ve never been with anyone other than you.” You inform him quietly. He’d never known that he was the one who took your virginity. At the time you were so embarrassed to be the only one of your friend group still carrying their v-card, though looking back that was such a ridiculous thing to worry about.

“Really? Not even Jimi - “

“Don’t even say his name to me.” You cut him off abruptly. Jimin had been your boyfriend when you were a teenager, who ended up cheating on you. “No. Are we going to do this because I’m slowly starting to get turned off here.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” He gives you that same lopsided smile that makes your heart thud. Slowly he leans down to reattach his mouth to your still hyper sensitive clit before resuming fucking you with his fingers. “You’re the only one I’ve ever been with too.” He mumbles so quietly you almost miss it if it wasn’t the tickle of his hot breath against your sensitive flesh.

For some reason that turns you on more, knowing that this moment, this feeling, you’d only ever shared with each other. 

Your tightening around him, walls clenching as he brings you closer and closer to orgasm, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath enough to whine, “Yoongi I’m close, please stop, please, please let me cum on your cock.”

He pulls away with a smirk. “How could I say no when you beg so prettily?”

Yoongi reluctantly tears away from you and stands briefly to shed his clothing. They’re tossed uncaringly to the floor before he crawls over you, wedging himself in between your legs. When his bare cock brushes against your hot cunt you shiver. It’s electric, raw and thrilling at the same time. You can practically feel yourself dripping on to the sheets below.

Your lips brush together, before he whispers a warning with a laugh, “I’m probably going to cum really quick.”

“You better not.” You tease, closing the distance between your mouths with a searing kiss. Yoongi continues lapping at your mouth as one hand nudges your thighs apart a little wider. He grips the base of his cock, lining it up at your entrance before dipping the head of it in painstakingly slowly. 

“Ok?” He breathes against your cheek as he inches the rest of himself in slowly. You nod eagerly. When he’s sheathed all the way inside of you he groans, a little too loudly for your liking. 

“Yoongi!” You whisper shout, clamping a hand against your mouth. “Be quiet!”

He licks the inside of your palm and you squeal at the ticklish sensation,  yanking your hand away which was his goal. “Now who's the loud one?” He tries to joke but his voice is deeper, hoarser, husky,  like he’s trying to hold back from just pounding you into the mattress.

“Move, Yoongi.” You nudge your hips upward slightly, desperate to feel him,, causing him to bite down on his lip in pleasure. 

“You feel so fucking good.” He whispers in your ear as he slowly begins to rock his hips against you. “So fuking wet, so fucking warm.” He keeps his face next to the shell of your ear. “So tight for me sweetheart.”

He rests on his forearms as he begins to pick up speed. Together, after all the practice you’ve engaged in, you’ve both long since learned how to fuck quietly in your bedroom. Tonight however Yoongi seems to be losing himself more than usual. Both of you stop instantly the second your headboard hits the wall with a thud, staring at each other in fear.

After a few tense moments of waiting to ensure no one in your household has woken, Yoongi mutters a low apology before carrying on thrusting. 

“I’m close, Yoongi.” You whisper, pushing his chest up slightly so you’re able to reach down to your neglected clit. The other hand finds purchase on his shoulder. “Ohhhh,” You moan squeezing your eyes shut. You can feel Yoongi’s dark gaze on your face. Knowing he’s watching is undeniably hot. 

“Baby cum for me,” He pants. “Please, I’m so close. Wanna feel you squeeze my cock while I fill you up. I’m gonna cum in you, claim you, make you all mine.”

You’re not even sure if he’s aware of what he’s saying but it does the trick and you feel that tightly wound coil deep within you let go, and you’re coming hard around his cock. He’s gasping and swearing when he follows seconds later, slowly grinding against you to a stop.

He all but collapses against you. His skin is hot and sweaty and sticks against yours. In other scenarios it would be disgusting but you relish in it, pulling him towards you for a kiss. He tastes salty and sweet.

“Shit, that felt too good.” He chuckles breathlessly after a few moments. “I’m sorry it was so quick.”

“I loved it.”

He’s still panting when he pulls out,, rolling onto his back next to you. “What?” He asks when you start to giggle.

“Your cum is leaking out of me and it tickles.” You grab his hand and put it between your thighs. “Feel.”

“You’re gross.” He laughs but you know he doesn’t mean it when he pecks you on the cheek shortly after.

“I’m going to go clean up.” You inform him, as you awkwardly dress and make your way to the bathroom. 

When you return once again Yoongi’s semi dressed and partially under the duvet cover, patting the mattress signaling for you to join him. You clamber into bed beside him and he instantly wraps his arms around you with a yawn. “I set your alarm.” He tells you.

This is standard routine for you two so he’s able to sneak back out again undetected in the morning. You nod against his chest. As he stretches across you and flicks the bedside lamp off.

“Yoongi?” 

“Hmm?” You can tell he’s close to sleep already. 

“Will you tell me if you sleep with anyone else? I don’t want to go back to condoms but I don’t want an STD.” You shyly share. It would be a shame not to be able to have him again, raw and unrestricted. 

“Of course. I’d never put you at risk like that.” He replies sleepily. “You’re my best friend, dummy.”

“You’re the dummy, idiot.” 

“Shut up and go to sleep.” He says. You can tell from his voice he’s smiling.

It’s your last day of high school but unfortunately not the last one of your part time job as a barista at the coffee shop you work at. It’s a nice place, but it’s boring. There’s still three months left until you hopefully are leaving town for the college of your choice (in the city, you hope with all of your fingers and toes crossed for luck). Nothing terrifies you more than being stuck in your hometown. Life is for the living.

After school you head straight for your shift. Normally your shifts pass by pretty quickly but today this one drags in. You know you have a few letters watermarked with the symbols of colleges you applied to waiting at home, courtesy of an excited call from your mom to the shop. 

You have little idea what to expect, resulting in an anxiety ridden few hours of work. Driving home it takes everything in you not to speed. 

“Here, here, here!” Your excited mother is thrusting a stack of different sized envelopes into your arms. You hadn’t even put your keys down or removed your jacket yet. 

“Give me a second, jeez.” 

The nerves you feel bubble ominously deep in your gut. You try not to let it read on your face as you shrug your jacket off and toss your keys in the bowl. If anything your mother may be more excited than you. 

“Well, open them darling.” She’s practically vibrating with excitement, a wide lipsticked smile stretched across her face.

Taking a deep breath you walk to the living room. You may have to sit down for this. 

The first letter is small. The smallest one. The return label indicates that it was from a music school in Incheon. One of the choices higher up on your list. A quick scan reveals - “I got in!!!!” You shout as you stand up. Mom’s cries of joy and affirmation fall on deaf ears as your heart thunders.

By the time you’ve confirmed your acceptance to Yonsei and Seoul National your mother is crying. Last, but certainly not least is the letter to Hangyang Uniersity. Out of all your applications, Hangyang was the only place Yoongi had applied to also. The prospect of potentially going to school with him excited you.

As soon as the black and white printed ink confirms it - we would like to offer you a place on our applied psychology course - you audibly gasp. You can’t wait to tell Yoongi.

Neither Mr or Mrs Min usually arrive home before 8pm. Mr Min is a math teacher, who often works long hours before heading to a bar, whilst Mrs Min is a nurse; so when you bounce out the front door and to the house next door you know Yoongi will be home alone.

“Yoongi!” You singsong before you’ve even reached the door, knowing there’s a chance he may be able to hear you. “Yoongi-yaaa!” You knock obnoxiously on the oak, almost as if you’re tapping out a tune. “I know you’re home, your bike is in the drive!”

The door creaks as it opens, a disheveled Yoongi appearing on the other side. “I was napping.” He grumbles, tousling at his fluffy hair. You can’t help but think he looks adorable. 

“Do that later.” You tell him, with a playful eye roll. “I got into Hangyang!”

He barely has time to blink before you’re launching yourself at him, slinging both arms around his neck. It takes him a moment to react before a reluctant arm returns your enthusiastic hug. “That’s great, y/n.” He says into your hair before you seperate. 

Yoongi shuts the door behind you both. “And?” You can’t help but ask.

“And what?” He mutters walking past you and to the kitchen. You trail behind like an excited puppy.

“Don’t you ‘and what’ me. What about you? Please tell me you got in too.”

He freezes as he’s reaching for a glass. “I don’t know.” 

His words do little to kill your buzz. “What?” You laugh, assuming he’s joking. “Today is the deadline. How can you not know?”

“I just don’t, ok.” He flips on the tap and fills his glass up with water, the entire time keeping his back to you. Something is up, you’ve known Yoongi nearly your entire life. He’s withholding something. He was always the type to act defensively when he was mad, hurt, lying or all of the above.

“Yoongi, we can call the university and find out. Maybe your mail is just late.”

“I don’t want to, y/n.” He says curtly.

“Why?”

“I just don’t!” 

“You’re being so weird right now,” You frown. “Don’t you want to find out if we’re going to be going together? We’ve talked about this for years.”

“I’m not being weird. I just don’t know yet.”

“You are.”

“Just fucking drop it.” He groans, slamming his glass on to the counter with enough force that the water sloshes up over the edge. 

“Don’t talk to me like that! I have done nothing wrong!”

Finally he spins to face you, a neutral almost bored expression on his face. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

“I - “ You cut yourself short, feeling a little foolish that he doesn’t seem to be as thrilled at the prospect of going to college with you. He hadn’t brought it up in a while. “I thought - thought you’d be excited. Nevermind.”

At your tone his expression softens. “Y/n, the idea of getting out of here with you sounded amazing.”

“Sounded?”

He lets out a drawn out sigh and stares at the ground. “I can’t go.”

It’s almost as if the air has been sucked rapidly out of the room. “Can’t?” You parrot back. This was the first you’d ever heard of this.

“You know what my situation at home is like. You know better than anyone. I can’t just up and leave.” He’s always hesitant, ashamed when speaking openly about what goes on behind closed doors. Even to you.

“You can, Yoongi.” You go to touch his arm for reassurance but he shrugs you off. 

“I can’t.” He grits. “I can’t leave her with him.”

“Yoonseok did.” You counter. It’s a low blow bringing up his older brother but it’s the truth. Yoonseok hightailed it out of there the second he turned sixteen, leaving eleven year old Yoongi to manage his dad alone. Yoongi’s childhood had done a number on him, burdening him in a way no child should ever be. 

“Yoonseok was a selfish dick.” He responds darkly, voice dripping with hate. “Without me, or anyone, to intervene my dad will fucking end up killing my mom. We both know it y/n.” Silent and unsure how to respond to such an uncomfortable truth you can only stare sadly at Yoongi. It’s painful to see him sacrifice so much for a family that didn’t deserve it. “I can’t leave her. It’s not safe,”

“I understand Yoongi, I do. But you can’t put your life on hold forever for your parents. At some point you need to get out, not just for your own safety but your sanity.”

“Yeah then come home to a dead mom. Great idea y/n.” He spits. “Don’t be fucking stupid. This is the reality of my situation.”

“I just want what's best for you, stop being an asshole!” You yell.

“You’re being controlling and quite frankly, kind of a cunt.” 

You scoff humorlessly in disbelief. “Really Yoongi?! Fuck you. And fuck this.”

Spinning on your heel you march towards the front door. This argument was going nowhere and you would only grow angrier if you remained in the tiny kitchen with him. One glance over your shoulder and you’re met with his glassy eyes watching you leave, the last thing you see before you slam the front door. 

Three days later you and Yoongi are still not speaking, equally as stubborn as one another. You know he’s been avoiding you because you haven’t even seen him in passing, a rare thing when your houses share a wall. So you avoid him too. Fuck him for making you feel bad when all you do is adore him, support him, care about him.

He hasn’t even attempted to apologise. If you really try you might be able to hold on to this anger for a week.

That’s the longest you’ve ever gone without speaking. And it was for something so juvenile you can’t even recall it to this day. Also, you were both twelve and kind of dumb. So you figure a week is your limit. That’s the longest you’ll go without talking to Yoongi. 

Tonight makes it particularly difficult when you hear a deafening crash and a thud. You pause, mid page turn of a book you were devouring and listen. The silence that follows is deafening. 

But then you hear it. The extremely distinct raised voice of Mr Min. It’s unclear exactly what he’s shouting but the tone is enough to send a shiver of fear through your entire body. There’s another raised voice that’s unmistakingly Yoongi. Your heart clenches at the sound of him. 

They continue like this for an uncomfortable length of time. You wonder what your parents think about this. Although it’s not a secret in your household you never exactly sit down and chat about what you hear through the walls with them.

When it goes silent you don’t relax. You gaze at the shared wall you know is Yoongi’s bedroom, almost as if your hard stare can penetrate the bricks and mortar. A selfish part of you hopes he comes over tonight, as per routine. You don’t indulge in each other’s bodies every time but you know even just your company is likely the only form of affection Yoongi gets and you want to take care of him any way you can. 

This thought takes you to the window, where you unlock the latch, expecting him hopefully soon. 

He doesn’t come. 

Yoongi lays on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. It’s not the water stain or the old outline of a where playboy poster used to be (he had snuck it out of Yoonseok’s collection and stuck there when he was a kid) that is captivating his attention. It’s the sound of his mom crying in the bathroom next door that’s keeping him awake.

His father had passed out a little while ago, thankfully. But not before smashing a glass dangerously close to his mom’s head and then pushing her so hard against the wall a hole appeared in the drywall. Yoongi had helped his mom clean up a few of the cuts and scrapes before she sent him out of the bathroom, claiming she wanted to wash up before bed. Her crying is breaking his heart.

Selfishly he wishes you could hear this.If you heard this you would understand in a heartbeat why he can’t leave. His mom is vulnerable. He knows you hear some of what occurs through the wall but it’s nothing as devastating as the muffled sobs his mom chokes back. The sound of a broken woman.

It makes him wonder how on Earth Yoonseok could just walk away from this and feel nothing. He hasn’t spoken to his brother since as a result. Through his Grandma he has a vague idea where Yoonseok is (doing odd jobs here and there in the city) but he doesn’t wish to know more than that. Hate is a word he reserves only for his father, but what he feels for Yoonseok is close.

He sighs, emotionally and physically exhausted, as he rolls onto his side. It’s been almost two weeks since he last saw or spoke with you and right now all he wants is to crawl into your bed and hide in you. Bury himself inside you while you clutch at him desperately. A world away from the pain and loveless home he’s trapped in right now.

He wants you so badly to be the bigger person, to be better than him like you always are. To come and find him, to sense that he needs you. He wants it so badly he aches.

Before his key is even in the door, Yoongi knows to anticipate a Bad Night. Not that the typical bad nights are easier but Bad Nights with a capital B and M are worse. He can hear his father before he even sees him and knowing that today was a weekend, and therefore a day off from work for his old man it means he’s been drinking since sun up.

He hesitates, key hovering over the lock. He could just turn away right now and pretend he had to work late. Dealing with his father’s abuse is literally draining the life out of him. For a moment he considers it, really considers it. Then he hears his mom cry out with agony. Yoongi unlocks the door.

“Mom?” He calls out as he crosses the threshold inside.

There’s a wail, followed by a whimper coming from the living room. He follows the sound. 

He’s greeted with his dad hovering over his mom who is cowering against the wall, looking smaller and frailer than ever. Something inside Yoongi snaps. With as much force as he can he shoves his father away from her. Drunk and already weary on his feet, the older man stumbles backwards a few steps before falling. 

“Are you okay?” Yoongi extends his hand to her. Shakily she places her palm in his and he helps her stand. This does not please his father who is yelling obscenities as he struggles to get to his feet. Yoongi glances at him over his shoulder and he can sense the shift in the room. “Mom, go upstairs and lock yourself in the bathroom. I’m going to talk to Dad.” He says sternly. 

“Yoongi,” She cries softly but one look at his expression and she knows how serious he is. Fearfully her eyes flicker to where her husband is, as if he somehow has the final say. It angers Yoongi like nothing else. 

By now Mr Min is standing, albeit swaying and his expression is murderous. “You shouldn’t have done that. This has got nothing to do with you stupid boy.”

“Fuck you, old man.” 

He isn’t thinking, rage is pulsing through his veins and all he can see is red when he swings a right hook at his father, fist making direct contact with the older man's jaw. Fight or flight instinct kicking in with brute force. He’s never thrown a punch before in his life. 

It takes a few dazed seconds for his opponent to recollect himself. His father looks at him with such disgust, almost as if he can’t recognise the boy standing in front of him is his own flesh and blood. Someone he was supposed to raise, protect and guide. 

Normally, he knows better than to talk back. Normally, he knows better than to get physical with his dad unless it's in defense of his mother. Normally he knows better. And now, the look in Mr Min’s eyes tell Yoongi one thing; he’s going to severely regret it.

This is your first taste of what feels like a life without Yoongi and it’s bitter. 

Fifteen days come and go with no sign from your best friend. The world feels a little emptier without him and it’s a sobering thought, that one day he might not be in your life. This realisation lights a fire under you and you decide to swallow your pride and take the first step towards reconciliation. It’s ridiculous. You and Yoongi don’t fight. It’s both of you against the world, the way it has been since you were kids.

Knowing he’s home alone again (both parents' cars are gone) you slip out of your house and make your way to his. This is probably the first time in your entire life you've ever felt nervous to see Min Yoongi. And not in a good way.

Knock knock.

You’re holding your breath as you wait and listen for signs of life from within the bricks. Silence. You knock again. 

Have five minutes passed or fifty? It’s an eternity waiting out here for Yoongi. When you’re about to turn to leave, the front door slowly creaks open. “Y/n?” 

When your eyes meet you inhale a sharp breath of air in, shocked. He has an angry black eye, swollen and purple. There’s a cut on his lip and the flesh around it is an inflamed shade of red. You don’t have to ask. You know where this came from. 

“Yoongi.” Is all you say before stepping forward and wrapping your arms around him. It’s a depressing parallel to the last encounter you had with each other. He’s silent but he returns your hold, burying his face in your hair. He inhales deeply as if it’s comforting somehow. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” He replies hoarsely.

“I understand why you do what you do for your mom.” You mumble into the soft cotton of his hoodie. “I just want you to be happy is all.”

“I know. I’m sorry for snapping at you.” He squeezes you a little tighter, planting a kiss on your head. 

“Please don’t ever go that long without talking to me again.” You say separating enough so you can see his face but still very much holding him in your arms. “Especially when things are this bad.” He smiles weakly and holds up a pinky, chipped with black nail polish. You link yours with his.

“Promise.” He assures.

As usual you ask - “Do you want to talk about it?”

He says nothing as he pulls you inside, lacing your hand with his. You think you know where this is going. Yoongi wants to feel loved. 

He leads you up the staircase, it groans under the weight of the two of you but otherwise the house is silent. Yoongi’s room is the first one on the upper landing, the mirror of your own bedroom in your house. The door still has a few posters of bands he had once loved and a worn logo sticker of his favorite basketball team. 

There’s a small twin bed almost identical to yours, except his is donned with a navy blue bedspread and doesn’t include the small mountain of assorted pillows that yours does. He always teases you about them, often joking he’s going to steal one and that you’d never notice. 

It’s quiet still as he leads you to the bed, sitting down first and scooting upwards until his back is flush with the headboard. “We don’t have to do anything.” He says softly as you mimic his actions. “I just missed you.”

Sometimes a person just needs someone to hold them, and you have no problem being that someone for Yoongi. Gently you pull his head to your chest and idly play with his hair, just how he likes.  A content sigh parts his lips. “I missed you too.” You tell him. “Do you know how much I wanted to run over here and tell you that Jimin came to my work, ordered a coffee, then tripped and spilled it all over himself?” 

Yoongi huffs a little laugh and you’re glad to make him smile. “Wish I’d seen that.”

“Next time don’t be a dick and maybe you could have.” You tease, knowing Yoongi has a penchant for frequenting your work for free coffee and sticking around, especially on slower days. He pinches your side playfully, although still hard enough to make you yelp. 

“I’m not a dick.” Although you can’t see his face you can hear the pout in his voice. “You live my life and then let’s see how stressed out you are.”

You were only teasing but his comment causes your heart to sink all the way to your toes. “I know you’re not.” You sigh, running your hands through his hair. “You can lean on me as much as you need. I’m basically your family at this point, Yoon.”

“Family.” He scoffs as if the word leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. “What’s that?” 

“People around you who love you.” You tell him firmly. You want to add on ‘i love you’  but the boundaries between you and Yoongi are so blurry now even you don’t know in exactly what context that would mean.

A comfortable silence settles after that. You almost wonder if he has fallen asleep, given the steady rise and fall of his breathing. You don’t know what comes over you but you pick his hand up, lacing your fingers together. He often paints his nails (you have always taunted he’s too goth to be a basketball player) and you’re examining the polish. The black paint is chipped and you stroke his index finger with yours softly.

“What are you doing weirdo?” Yoongi’s voice startles you and you freeze. 

“Your nails are totally chipped.” 

“Duh. Haven’t had time to fix them.”

“Can I paint them for you?”

He cranes his neck and gives you a confused look. “...Why?”

You’re not entirely sure yourself and you shrug. Maybe you just feel guilty and want to do something nice for him. “Okay.” He agrees slowly, still entirely not convinced but still leans forward so you can stand up and grab the bottle of polish, remover and cotton pads from his dresser. Everytime you come in his room you marvel at what a neat freak he is, everything is always so organised. 

“Black?” You confirm the color. He nods. 

You set your items out on the bed, this time opting to sit opposite Yoongi, facing him. To get close enough so that he doesn’t have to stretch his arms out uncomfortably you’re basically sitting in his lap, legs entwined. Gently you talk his palm in yours and begin to wipe away the remnants of the old paint. 

“No one has ever painted my nails before.” He chuckles. Your eyes meet and you can't help but smile. 

“That’s another first time milestone of yours I’ve taken.” Your expression turns into a wide grin. Yoongi rolls his eyes. 

He’s not delicate by any means (despite the bruises) and you don’t know why you’re treating him as such but delicate is what you are when you clean all ten of his nails. You can feel his burning gaze on you as you work; it spurs you on to do a good job. 

The room smells toxic, the fumes of the remover and the nail polish nearly make your eyes water. “Can I open the window?” You ask after the smell gets a little too much. Yoongi nods and you quickly hop off the bed and pop the frame open. The instant wave of fresh air clears your head. 

He’s watching you with a peculiar look on his face that you can’t help question but he brushes it off. You return to your earlier position and continue your handiwork. You can’t help but smile and admire the first nail, disproportionately proud of your newfound skill. Yoongi laughing ruins your moment.

“What exactly is so funny?” You question, quirking a brow. 

Still laughing he shakes his head. “You’re cute.”

The blush that creeps up from your chest to your cheeks is hot and there’s no way Yoongi doesn’t notice. He’s never really complimented you like that. In fact, he rarely says anything about your appearance, negative or positive. Occasionally when he’s mid way through fucking you something will slip out but it’s meaningless when he’s seconds away from an orgasm and not thinking clearly.

“Oh.” You mutter dumbly, trying to ignore why that makes you feel tingly inside. You carry on with your task at hand. When you’ve finished the second coat, you take him by the wrist and blow on his fingers, as if that’s going to do a whole lot to speed the drying process.

“Uh..” Yoongi makes a noise that sounds almost sexual in nature and you peer up at him with a perplexed look as you continue blowing. “This is such a douchey guy thing to say but when your mouth makes that shape....and it kinda gives me goosebumps when you do that...it reminds me of every time you’ve ever sucked my dick.”

“Oh my god.” You laugh, throwing your head back. “Seriously?!”

He nods, looking half amused, half ashamed. “They’re pretty memorable, you know.”

“Good to know.”

After his nails are dry and you’ve tidied up the mess you join him back on the bed. “Thank you.” He says, pulling you on his lap before you even have a moment to process what just happened. You straddle him, hands on his shoulders, staring intently at the injuries on his face. You brush a thumb along his bottom lip. 

“I like doing things for you.”

Yoongi holds your arm firmly in place, pressing a kiss to your thumb then bringing your hand to cup his face and planting a kiss against your wrist. His larger hand rests atop your hand, keeping it there and he nuzzles into you. There’s a palpable tension and the air suddenly feels too thick. It’s almost hard to breathe. As you get lost in his eyes it feels as if the world around you has vanished, leaving only you and Yoogi, in your own private universe. 

You lean in closer. His breath ghosts your lips. You’ve missed kissing him so much.

Then, the front door slams.

“Shit.” Yoongi flies up so quickly it’s a wonder you’re not thrown to the floor. “They’re home.” His parents are earlier than expected. 

“I’ll sneak out if you distract them?” It’s not that Yoongi’s parents don’t like you, they just a: wouldn’t approve of you being over unsupervised and without permission and b: the less fuel you can add to the fire the better. Mr Min will look for anything to be upset with when it comes to his son. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise. Just go.” You push him towards the door. Before he leaves he turns to you and asks -

“ - See you tonight?”

Yoongi’s in - dare he say it - a good mood when he sneaks out later that same day. His dad passed out early (a rare but welcome occasion) leaving the Min household in a relatively peaceful state for once. Slipping out the front door, armed with a box of his mom’s homemade cookies that you love, he makes the short trip to your bedroom.

A knuckle taps quietly against the window and he can’t help but grin when he sees the excitement in your eyes. After all you had unfinished business from earlier. You bounce over to the window wearing that cute lilac pyjama short set (the one that makes it hard for him to concentrate) and let him inside. 

“They’re still awake.” You whisper, holding a finger to his lips when he goes to speak. He nods in understanding, aware you mean your parents.

“For you.” He matches your hushed tone as he passes you the box of cookies. Your eyes light up with delight and a tiny gasp leaves your lips.

“My favorite! Your mom must have been in a good mood today to be baking.”

“Dad went to bed early, so..” He shrugs.

“Thank you.” You put the box on your desk and engulf Yoongi in a hug of gratitude. 

His hands are cold when he slides them beneath your flimsy camisole, wanting nothing more than to feel your naked skin. He kneads the flesh of your bare hips under his hands before dragging his nose along the juncture of where your collarbone meets your neck and inhaling. The scent of you, your skin and your body wash was comforting and arousing. 

He wonders sometimes if you truly knew the effect you had on him as his lips ghost over your skin with the briefest of touches. He wants to drown in you. This is the only place he’s ever felt safe. 

You exhale a shaky breath that sounds a lot like his name. He pushes your hair over your shoulder allowing his lips to roam your decliotage freely. There’s not a part of your body he hasn’t kissed, he thinks. He laves his way up your throat and meets your awaiting mouth. He can taste your strawberry lip balm, a taste he will forever associate with you.

You whisper between kisses that he has to be quiet (as always) but intrigue him when you push him towards the white wooden chair that matches the desk. He sits down and you swing a leg over his lap so you’re straddling him, a more intimate version of how you were on his bed earlier. 

“This is new.” He hums, hands stroking up and down your sides. 

“Can’t have the headboard crashing into the wall again now can we?” You giggle, pushing some of his hair off his face. 

Yoongi agrees with a smirk, gaze roving over your willing body. He strips you of your camisole, before devouring your breasts, taking one in each hand and grazing a thumb over your quickly hardening nipples. His lips find purchase on your neck once more. It’s almost sinful how you’re already grinding shamelessly against him. 

“Stand up and take these off.” He commands, snapping the waistband of your little shorts to punctuate his point. Quickly you shed the clothing, kicking them off. Yoongi’s cock is aching a little now, having been pent up for a few hours now. He hastily shoves his sweatpants down enough for his member to spring free.

When you’re seated on his lap you moan in pleasure at the feeling of his hardness against your bare pussy. “I’ve missed you.” You breathe, rocking your hips enough so that the tip of his cock brushes through your lips. He shudders at the combination of your voice and sensation.

His hands can’t seem to decide exactly where he wants to touch you. One has a handful of your ass, encouraging your movements and the other is palming at your tits. Then when you beg him to touch you he knows exactly where his hands want to be.

A sense of pride washes over him every time he feels how wet he makes you. There’s a thrill in knowing he’s the only one who has ever made you like this. The only one who has ever touched you like this. His thumb circles your clit slowly. He watches you with ravenous eyes.

Your soft whines just make the ache to be inside you increase tenfold. It’s so much better than any dirty movie he’s ever seen. It’s real and it's for him. “O-Oh, Yoongi.” Your head falls forward, resting on his shoulder. “I’m ready. Please. Just want you. It’s been too long.”

The fact that two weeks without him was too long for you does nothing but inflate his ego. Rarely does Yoongi ever feel just this self assured. “You have me.” He whispers, positioning you over his swollen cock. Slowly you lower yourself onto him, taking him like the good girl you are. “Fuckkk.” He exhales when you’re completely full of him.

“It’s s-so much.” You choke. He knows exactly what you mean. This is a new position and a new angle for you both. As beginners to sex neither of you had the confidence or experience to experiment too much yet. With you speared on his lap, it’s deeper than he’s ever felt you before. 

His grip on your hips is bruisingly tight as he stills you for a moment. It’s overwhelming how good you feel and he already came far too fast last time. He bites down on the juncture of your neck and shoulder, eyes squeezed shut tight. 

Eventually he calms down enough to let you bounce on him. Your eyes threaten to roll back in your head, lids fluttering shut. His mouth hangs open and he knows he porbbaly looks so dumb right now but he couldn’t fucking care. Not with how unbelievably good it felt. 

“Yoongi,” You pant, laughing a little “You know I saw this in porn and wanted to try it.”

“Yeah - uh, wa - what?” He splutters, stilling you completely to ensure he heard you correctly. “Since when do you watch porn?”

“Last week the cable TV glitched.” You bite your lip shyly. “I may have watched some.”

“Fuck.” He growls, lifting you up and slamming you back down on his length. The idea of you watching porn, masturbating to porn and then thinking about him almost has him blowing his load immediately. God knows he’s thought about you countless times. Even before you’d had ever even had sex. “You have no. Idea. How hot that is.”

“Yeah? You think so?” You’re breathless, cheek to cheek as you whisper in his ear. 

“The idea of you touching yourself.” He groans. “Wishing it was me.”

“Of course I wished it was you.” You moan. “Think about you fucking me all the time. You can have me whenever you want me, Yoongi.”

Shit He’s so close to cumming already. Whispered obcenties tumble out from under his breath. Just as you’re starting to get too loud Yoongi covers your mouth with his hand but you grab his two of his fingers and suck them into your hot mouth, muffling your moan as you cum. The sensation of your mouth and your pussy is his undoing, and he explodes not even seconds later, cumming harder than he can ever remember. 

“You’re going to ruin me.” He pants, chest heaving. 

You laugh, pressing your sweaty forehead against his. “Not if you ruin me first.”

Weekday routine insists you always assist your mother with the after dinner clean up. When you were younger you were often (as your father put it - ‘deviously smart’) at inventing excuses to get out of chores. Now as an almost adult you, it isn’t such a hassle. It’s even nice to spend a little time talking with your mother. 

The relationship you have with your parents is the inverse of the one Yoongi has with his. It wasn’t until you understood the gravity of his situation did you really start appreciating them in a newfound way. You could be a bratty kid in your youth, like everyone but you thank your lucky stars you had a loving, safe environment.

“Careful with that plate darling, it’s china.” Your mom instructs as she hands you the dinner plate, knowing full well how clumsy you can be. 

“How about we just eat from paper plates now on? They don’t break.”

Your mom cracks a smile as she shakes her head. “When it’s your house you can make the rules.” She gives you a pointed look. After a few moments of silence she asks - “How is Yoongi? I haven’t seen him over in a while.”

You look away to hide the blush that floods your cheeks. He’s over nearly every other night, mother. Right under your nose.

“He’s fine. Same old, same old.” You sigh, stretching up on to your tip toes as you put the precious plate away. 

“Is he joining you at Hangyang in September?” You mom pries. 

Oh shit. You’d forgotten to tell her. “Uh, no. No he’s not.”

“Oh sweetie. I’m sorry. I know you two were looking forward to it. It’s a shame he didn’t get in.” 

“That’s not why.” You take yet another precious china plate from her to dry. “It’s his parents.”

“Oh.” 

You don’t have to elaborate any further. It’s not a secret in your home. Your parents aren’t deaf, they hear everything you do. “I wish he would leave them. He’s worried for his mom.”

A long, forlorn sigh leaves your mother. “Gosh when he was young your father and I would phone the police on the really bad nights.” She tells you with a shake of her head.

“What? Seriously?” This was brand new information to you. She nods.

“Mrs Min always defended her husband. Made us look like we were imaging things. It’s so sad.” Her eyes grow misty. “I don’t blame that poor Yoonseok for running away. At one point we even tried to adopt Yoongi, you know.”

“Fuck, really?”

“Language.” Your mother warns and you hastily apologise, desperate to hear more of the story. “Yes. He spent so much time here, it was like he was our kid anyway. We seriously looked into it, hired a lawyer and a social worker. But it was too difficult. Mrs Min stopped talking to us for a long time.”

“I had no idea.” You breathe, awed. Although the idea of Yoongi potentially being your brother makes you feel nauseous now, given everything. 

“Mrs Min is a nice woman. She adores her children but she struggles.” Your mom says empathetically. “As for Mr Min? He was the picture perfect father and husband for a good while when they first moved in. You were too young to remember.” 

“I wish I could help them.” 

“I know you do honey. If only it was so simple.” You mom smiles. “Yoongi is lucky to have you. That boy is welcome in our home any time, as far as I’m concerned. And tell him I was asking after him won’t you?”

“Of course. He’ll like that you were.”

Aside from Yoongi, Anni is probably the person you’re closest with. The juxtaposition between her and Yoongi is almost comical, like night and day. She is bubbly, fun and out-going; a stark contrast to Yoongi’s more foreboding and at times broody nature. Of course he was fun, but in such a different way. 

Anni somehow persuades you to accompany her to a house party. Your entire high school life you’ve only ever been to a handful. They’re not exactly your thing. But college is encroaching and that’s what you’re supposed to be doing there right? Partying, drinking, occasionally studying. So it doesn’t take a lot of convincing to get you prettied up and ready to go.

It’s Seyoon’s house that’s your destination, a guy in your year you’ve only spoken to a handful of times. The moment you set foot in the crowded building you already feel awkwardly out of place. As if your friend senses this she whispers in your ear, “You look great, don’t think so much.” while pushing you through the crowd. 

The first point of call is obviously alcohol. Together you do two shots each before grabbing a cup of something questionable. “Oh! There’s Soomin. Let’s go say hi.”

Soomin was Anni’s friend, someone you only knew by acquaintance. You spot her talking to a group of two guys and a girl you recognise but don’t know her name.  You instantly feel a little nervous, one of the guys is clearly older, and not to mention handsome. He looks like a model, beautiful dark hair coiffed perfectly. 

Soomin is very friendly and greets you both with welcoming hugs before introducing you to the group. “This is Yeona, her boyfriend Jongsuk and my cousin Seokjin.” 

“You don’t go to our school. You look like you spend your time in a drama as the male lead.” Anni teases Seokjin playfully. Of course she would be flirting right off the bat. He takes it in stride, shaking his head with a grin. 

“I used to. I just finished my first year at Hangyang Uni.” 

“That’s where I’m going next year.” You smile up at him. When he makes eye contact you blush like the school kid you technically are. 

“Really? That’s great. What are you studying?” He asks, stepping a little closer so he can hear you over the music. 

“I’m hoping to get my degree in Psychology and Sociology.” 

“Are you joking?” He laughs. At once you’re confused. You don’t exactly look like the studious academic type, and he doesn’t have to be rude about it.

“No…” You frown. “Why?”

“I’m a psychology student too. You’ll probably even be on the same campus as me!” He grins.

“Ohhhh, that’s cool! What are the odds?” 

“I know? Isn’t that so weird?” He laughs. 

“Do you enjoy it?” You ask, genuinely curious. That’s been a big fear of yours, worried you’ll begin your (expensive) further education and hate it. 

“I love it. I’ve always been interested in Psychology so learning from some of the best experts in the country is amazing.” He looks like a kid on christmas, eyes lighting up as he speaks. This guy might be model handsome on the outside but he is a total geek. It’s so endearing, you can’t help but like it.  “It’s a great school. You’ll enjoy it.”

By now the others' conversations have died out. Seokjin’s eyes dart downwards to your empty drink. “Want another?” 

“Yeah alright.”

“Come with me, I can tell you about all the cool spots on campus and what books not to buy.” He grabs you by the wrist as he says a quick ‘be right back’ to Yeona. Anni gives you a knowing smirk but you mouth ‘shut up’ at her. 

Hoseok’s sunny, cheerful demeanour is something Yoongi normally appreciates about his friend. Unless it’s used as a weapon against him, like it is tonight. This is how he finds himself sipping on a disgustingly warm beer in the corner of Seyoon’s vast living room, doing nothing more exciting than people watching. 

You had told him earlier in the week you’d been roped into attending. Maybe that’s why he’d agreed to go with less resistance than usual. If he was truly honest with himself he was scanning the room, hoping to find you and turn this night around. The few times you’d got drunk together were always fun. 

He spies Anni first, talking to a group of people, which means you can’t be far off. He knows you went with her. That’s when some movement catches his eye. 

Initially it’s the tall pretty boy who alerts his attention, but his gaze drops downward to see him leading you of all people somewhere, wrist firmly encaptured in his grip.

Something hot and prickly rises in his chest and his heart feels like it’s screeched to a halt. If he witnesses this strange boy take you upstairs he might just lose it. That’s what usually happens at these parties.

He exhales a shaky breath of relief when the two of you make a beeline for the kitchen. Although the adrenaline rush isn’t gone yet, his heart is still thundering his ribcage. Through a small gap in the crowd he sees you talking, smiling, laughing. You look like you’re having fun. He doesn’t want to ruin that.

“Do you want another?” Hoseok nudges him with his elbow, gesturing with his head to the nearly finished beer Yoongi clutches. 

He does want another but that would mean going into the kitchen, so he refuses.

“Come on, little MinMin.” Hoseok teases, using Yoongi’s least favourite nickname. He hates being called little, or tiny, or short. “I know you want one.”

“Fine but I’m staying here. Fetch it for me.” 

Hoseok sticks his tongue out at him before grabbing his empty bottle and disappearing with it.

“Me? No I’m not really into the partying side of college life but I can show you where to go if you are.” Seokjin has been sharing his wisdom for you for the last forty minutes. Evidently he’s learned a lot in a year at Hangyang. “I read books and chill. By myself.” He laughs and you join him. 

“It’s funny how we both aren’t the partying type and we literally met at a party.” You can’t help but chuckle, shaking your head at the absurdity of the situation. “Should we rejoin the others?”

Seokjin agrees and as you two exit the kitchen you see the back of someone’s head that looks a lot like Yoongi’s friend Hobi. You hesitate for a minute, attempting to decipher if it really is him or not when a subtle touch at the small of your back from Seokjin jolts you back into the present. 

“Come on.” He’s so unintentionally suave. It makes your heart beat just a little faster. 

Anni is animatedly telling the story of when you and her accidentally tried to give her white maltese dog Pricilla a bath and accidentally turned her pink with the wrong shampoo. “Your mom still hasn’t let me live that done!” You join in at the end. 

“Neither has Pricilla.” Anni grins.

“Please tell me you don’t have a dog.” Seokjin asks, grabbing both your shoulders in dramatic mock concern. “Please y/n, think about the animals!”

“I didn’t act alone!” You defend shooting a glare at Anni, who is playing innocent. 

“Well it’s a good thing you’re not allowed animals on campus.” Seokjin smirks. Anni gives you yet another knowing look. You can practically see the internal cogs of her brain whirring to life. Ever since Jimin she’s been dying for you to at least hook up with someone. Little did she know about Yoongi.

“You two should meet up when you’re both at school.” The look on Anni’s face tells you she’s assuming she’s doing you a favour, a gentle nudge forward in your romantic life. 

Before you can awkwardly deflect the question and give Seokjin an escape he answers first. “Yes we should, y/n. If you want.”

“Uh, sure.” You don’t see why not. As of now he’s the only person you know at Uni. It might make the transition a little more fluid. 

“Maybe y/n you can give him your number?” Anni meddles further. Oh god, you look so desperate now. You’re not interested in dating him and she’s making it seem like you are.

“I’ll have a different number when I’m at school.” You remind her. 

Seokjin reads between the lines, sensing he’s not quite privy to all the information. “No problem, I’ll give you mine.” 

He excuses himself for a moment, to grab a pen and paper. You look to see where he’s going and your eyes land on the one person you did not expect to see here. Yoongi. Yoongi watches you as he makes his way out onto the patio with Hoseok, dark eyes unreadable. Your heart leaps. Immediately you want to go over and say hello but you can’t. With one final glance he disappears through the sliding doors. Why do you feel like you’ve been caught doing something wrong?

“Here.”

Seokjin hands you a slip of paper with his home number and campus number. “Kim Seokjin.” You read aloud to yourself. “Thank you for this. I just saw my good friend here so I’m going to say hello. It was lovely meeting you!”

“You too.” He smiles warmly. 

“Come on Anni, Hobi’s here.” You inform her and her eyes widen in surprise. She likes Hobi. A lot. It’s the sweetest thing. 

“Bye Seokjin!” 

You drag Anni away before she can do any more damage.

Yoongi and Hoseok are sitting on the railing of the large wooden patio, joined by Jungkook who seemed to materialize out of nowhere. He’s talking energetically about something but Yoongi isn’t really focusing. He spots you walking over to him. Your face lights up as soon as your eyes meet. It makes him feel funny.

“I didn’t think you would be here.” You smile brightly as you come to a stop before him. 

“Hobi tricked me.” He shrugs, sipping his beer. The frown that his dry response elicits makes him feel guilty. “Are you two having fun?” He nods his head towards Anni.

“Y/n was.” She giggles, nudging you suggestively. “How about you two? I haven’t seen you in a while Hoseok.”

He flashes her a winning smile. “You’re seeing me now.” 

Yoongi fights an intense urge to roll his eyes. Hobi’s flirting always made him cringe. It’s even worse when it actually works. Hoseok offers everyone a drink but only Anni takes him up on the offer. Together they disappear in search of alcohol, leaving Yoongi alone with you. He feels awkward for some reason.

“You know she likes him, right? Hobi.” You say after a few beats of silence pass between you. Yoongi figured, from the way Anni hung on Hoseok’s every word.

“I’m sure he’d be down to hook up. He’s not picky.” He mutters. 

“Yoongi.” You scold. “They suit each other. They would be cute together.”

He hums in response. You’re right, of course but he’s not really in the headspace to be getting giddy about whether two people will fuck or not. 

You hoist yourself onto the railing next to him, scooting close enough that your bodies are touching. He tenses when you lay your head on his shoulder. “You’re not in a good mood tonight.” It’s not a question, you’re just consistently excellent at reading his emotions.

“You know I hate parties.” He mumbles. 

“Me too.”

“You looked like you were having fun earlier. Don’t feel obligated to sit with me.” He speaks before he thinks. It makes him sound bitter and jealous and angry. He hates it because not only does it make him sound pathetic; it’s true.

“I want to sit with you.” You correct quietly.

He doesn’t know how to respond, praise and affection always make him feel a little awkward. For a while you sit in comfortable silence, just watching the rest of what seems like the world have fun. Yoongi spies that tall pretty boy you were talking to glancing over and he feels a little smug at the disappointment on the strangers face seeing you and Yoongi looking cosy together. 

“Those two have been taking a suspiciously long time.” Yoongi muses, attention now back on his beer. 

“Yeah,” You huff a laugh. “I wonder why…”

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Yoongi asks abruptly. “Let’s go to the diner. I’m hungry.”

“That sounds like a plan.” You agree to his surprise. 

At your suggestion you seek out Hoseok and Anni to extend an invitation, only to find them kissing in a darkened corner of the hallway. Yoongi rolls his eyes while you snicker - “About time.”

When Yoongi smiles - really smiles - his entire demeanour changes. He has the tendency to look intimidating and cold when his expression is neutral (“I can’t help my face!” he would always defend when people mentioned it) but when he laughs his eyes light up like stars. You adore his gummy smile. 

The thought captures you in the diner as the two of you are doubled over with laughter. You were trying to throw a french fry into Yoongi’s mouth but missed completely, hitting an older woman in the booth behind, directly on the forehead. 

“No wonder you suck at basketball with an aim like that.” He grins, stuffing some fries in his mouth. 

“I’m so embarrassed.” You cover your reddening face with your hands but you’re still laughing. 

“It’s a good thing we’re Mike’s best customers or I’m sure we would have been kicked out by now.” Yoongi points out. He’s right. The greasy, twenty four hour diner has been your hang out for years now. 

“I’m going to miss it when I’m at college. I’ll have to make special trips back for the strawberry milkshakes.” You realise. 

“What about me?!” He scoffs playfully. “Nice to know on your list of priorities I’m below milkshake.”

“You know you’re my favourite.” You coo, stealing a fry from his hand before he has the chance to bite it. The look of indignation he gives you only makes you giggle. 

You walk home together, happy and still a little buzzed from the alcohol at the party. Somewhere along the way the back of Yoongi’s hand brushes against yours and he laces your fingers together. 

Summer persists in much the same way. Yoongi gets a job across the street from your work as a full time record store employee. He enjoys talking about music in his free time, so he figures he may as well get paid for it. You’re happy for him and he seems a little more content. You coordinate lunch breaks when you can, meeting to eat in the sunshine. 

Once a week Yoongi brings you a record or cassette he thinks that you’ll like. Sometimes he leaves little notes inside the sleeve of the vinyl, secret messages just for you. They range from random thoughts of his, inside jokes or just which song he loved the most. It’s such a Yoongi thing to do.

You make and bring him iced americano’s, on the house of course. At this point you’re pretty sure everyone he works with assumes you are a couple. What’s weird is that it doesn’t bother you in the slightest. 

If you thought the boundaries between you and Yoongi were blurred before, it’s even more confusing now. Yoongi treats you as if you’re his girlfriend, but only when you’re alone of course. When your other friends are around no one would suspect anything at all is going on between you. To say it’s messing with your head is an understatement. You wonder if Yoongi is going through the same mental turmoil about this as you are.

Probably not, if you’re being truly honest with yourself. A part of you knows he’s just latching on to you for comfort, for a way of coping. It’s not like his home life has magically improved in the last few weeks. Truthfully it seems to be steadily worsening. 

It’s pathetic how willing you are to pretend that it’s real. That you belong to Yoongi and he to you. Your mother once told you, amidst your heartbreak over Jimin while you had been blaming yourself for him cheating, that if someone wanted to do something, they would, regardless of you. She said it to comfort you but the words haunt you now. If Yoongi wanted you to be together, wouldn’t he ask?

You’re leaving for college soon. You won’t have Yoongi for much longer. So for now, you’ll allow yourself this indulgence, and just enjoy being with him.

“Please tell me you are not taking these.” Anni exclaims, holding up a pair of chunky black platform boots. “They’re the ugliest things I’ve ever seen.” She giggles at the look of outrage on your face. 

You’ve recruited Anni and Yoongi to help you pack some of your belongings since it’s only seven short days until you leave for Hangyang and could use the extra pair(s) of hands. The afternoon has consisted mainly of Anni questioning your taste whilst Yoongi rocks on your desk chair, attempting to solve a rubix cube he managed to find. 

“Yes I am taking those! They’re cute and they make me feel tall.” You snatch the shoes from her and place them in your suitcase. “Right Yoongi?” You ask, looking for backup.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” He mumbles without even bothering to look up from the toy in his hands. 

“I’m going to miss you and your ugly shoes so much.” Anni sighs dramatically earning an eye roll from you. 

“I’m only one hour away from your school babe.” You remind her. Like you, she’s also leaving Daegu for Seoul. “It’ll be easy for us to meet up.”

“Have you met your roommates yet?” She inquires, inspecting yet another pair of your shoes. 

“Yeah, I’m with two girls. They seem nice enough. We have our own separate rooms which is nice.”

“That means you can have boys over.” She says suggestively. You hear Yoongi scoff slightly under his breath. 

“Yeah yeah,” You dismiss. “Speaking of boys, what’s going on with you and Hobi?” 

“He does not shut up about you.” Yoongi pipes up to Anni’s delight. “Seriously. It’s annoying.”

“I like him a lot. And we get on great.” She gushes, face lighting up. “But we’re going to be so far apart come September.” While you both are leaving for the city, Hoseok is going south for school.

“You can still date long distance.” You suggest.

“No you can’t.” Yoongi cuts in bluntly. “It won’t work.”

“What?” You look at him incredulously. “Of course they can.”

“No they can’t.” He rebuts, leaning forward resting his arms on his knees.. “It might work for a while. But she’ll be busy and will be meeting new people and he won’t be a priority anymore, because he doesn’t fit into her new life!”

“She cares about him! She’ll make time for him to fit into her life!”

“That’s bullshit. It won’t happen.” Yoongi jeers, a nasty undertone to his words that’s far too visceral to be directed at Anni.

“Alright, jeez. Calm down you two.” Anni looks between you, wide eyed. “I know you both care about me and Hobi but you don’t have to take it so personally.”

You and Yoongi lock eyes for a moment, a secret realization transpires between you, about exactly why you’re taking one another’s words so seriously. Before the tension in the room can worsen, your mom knocks on the bedroom door.

“Come in.” You call. She pokes her head through the door. “Hey mom.”

“How’s the packing going?” She inquires, peering around the room.

“Getting there.” You exhale, blowing some stray hairs away from your forehead.

“Good, good.” She nods. “I just got back from the supermarket, I bumped into Kim Jangmi and we had a very interesting chat.”

“Kim Jangmi?” You struggle to recall the name. It sounds familiar but you don’t exactly know the name of every single one of your mother’s friends. 

“Yes! You know, from my book club? Anyway she was with her son and we all got to chatting and apparently you met him a few weeks ago. Kim Seokjin!”

“Oh….yeah.” You mumble. “He goes to Hangyang and we ended up speaking for a bit.” 

“The handsome guy from the party?!” Anni interrupts keenly.

“Gosh, he is handsome isn’t he?” Your mother agrees, a little too enthusiastically for your liking. “He said you’re going to meet up at school?”

You glance at Yoongi before you answer, he  is clearly pretending not to be interested in the conversation, looking at the rubix cube as if it is the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. “Maybe. I don’t know. I barely know him.”

“He gave you his phone number.” Anni chirps. 

Yoongi’s eyes flick to you.  

“He was just being friendly.” You feel defensive for some reason. “We are on the same course, that’s all.”

“He’s a really nice boy, y/n. The reason why I came here was to tell you he’s going to help us when you move in next week.” Your mom beams.

“What?” You gasp, annoyed. “Why did you have to rope him into that?!” 

“He offered!” 

You sigh, feeling frustrated and defeated. “Okay mom. I'm sure that’s a lie, but ok.”

“Stop being difficult, darling.” She sighs. “I’m going to start on dinner now. Yoongi, Anni, you’re both welcome to stay.”

Yoongi and Anni both say thank you before your mother bids her goodbye. It’s odd in the room now; you feel exposed as if Yoongi just found out a secret you’ve been hiding. You want to tell him you’re not interested in Seokjin. You want to tell him you’re only interested in him. But you can’t. So the three of you continue packing.

Anni doesn’t sense the tension. “I hope your mom is making mac and cheese for dinner. Hers is the best.”

Seven days feels like a substantial amount of time but it’s not, Yoongi has come to understand. His last week with you flew by and he wishes he had even just one more day before you depart for Seoul. Seoul feels final. Seoul feels like the end.

Your life is going to change drastically, in almost every aspect, while his will remain the same. He knows it, feels it in his gut, that you’re going to leave him behind. You were always better than him, too good for him and now you’re going to realise it. And he’s been clinging on like a desperate man.

Somehow he manages to convince you to sneak out. It’s one am and you have to be up early for the big move but he’s grateful when you agree anyway. He’s waiting for you in his car. It’s silent apart from the low thrum of the idle engine and some indie rock playing over the radio at a low volume. 

You slip out of your front door, in a hoodie that Yoongi notes belongs to him. He can’t help how the sight makes his heart swell and excitement begin to race through him. He leans across the console and opens the passenger door for you. “Hi.” You whisper with a smile. 

“Hi.” He whispers back. 

He waits for you to buckle your seatbelt before pulling off. The roads are almost deserted at this time, a fact he finds oddly soothing. 

“Do I get to know where we are going or…?” You ask, peeking at him slyly out of the corner of your eye. 

“You’ll know in a minute.” Is his response. He’s taking you to a spot you’ve both been many times before. There’s an observatory at one of the highest points in town which gives an amazing view of the landscape below as well as the stars. It’s peaceful.

When he parks in the abandoned parking lot (the observatory has long since closed, lying abandoned now) there’s a fond smile playing on your lips. You like it here, having always been fond of the night sky. “Is there a reason you brought me here?”

Yes. 

“No,” He answers with a shrug. “Just wanted to have a nice last night with you.”

“You’re acting like I’m going to war or something.” You laugh. “I’ll be back and forth between here and Uni all the time.”

You say that now but he thinks (knows) the reality will be much different. 

He’s silent as he draws you in for a kiss. Hands cup your face and he pours as much intensity as he can into the gesture. His name falls breathlessly from your lips as he pulls away. “I need to tell you something.” He manages to choke out. He’s nervous and it constricts his vocal chords.

You blink a few times before your eyes widen with worry. “Is everything okay Yoongi?” 

“Yeah! Yeah..” He tries to convince you. “With you leaving and all I just wanted to let you know. Y/n… you mean a lot to me.” He takes a deep breath, an attempt to summon some courage, whilst you watch him curiously. “Our..friendship is different now. Things have changed.” No shit, he thinks. “I like you. So much. More than anyone else. I - I, you, you know?”

He wants to verbalise that he loves you so badly, but his brain is blocking the words from escaping. He feels like a fool. An emotionally stunted fool.

“Yoongi,” You say gently. Your eyes search his own and he knows you understand what he’s trying to say. You’ve always been excellent at reading him. “Me too.”

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.” He confesses in a low voice. “You’re everything to me.”

“I feel exactly the same.”

His heart constricts before thudding wildly in his chest. This was the answer he had hoped before. He hooks your pinky with his just like he always does. “Promise me if things change when you’re away we’ll be friends.” He can hardly look at you as he asks his desperate question.

“I promise.”  You squeeze his pinky tightly. “Nothing will change. You will always have me, Yoongi.”

Little more words and confessions are exchanged between you. Yoongi fucks you in the back seat of his car for what he hopes isn’t that last time. It’s different, passionate and slow. The windows steam up just like in the movies.

Still naked and sticky on top of you, he stretches forward and draws a heart in the condensation on the window. He writes both of your initials inside of it, then kisses you through your adorable giggles. 

The sun begins to rise and you watch it together before he drives you home.

The next time you will see Yoongi will be December. Three whole months from now. The thought anxiously chews away at your insides as you watch his house disappear in your rearview mirror. He has the phone number of your dorm and you promised to arrange regular phone catch ups. With your mother’s blessing you gave him a copy of the key to your house so he will always have a refuge, even if you’re not there to be one for him.

Areum and Oli are surprisingly easy to get along with. It’s never easy to live with people so you’re thankful you lucked out with some decent roommates. The first night away from home the three of you spend the evening drinking wine, eating take out and getting to know one another. 

Your room is cute, decorated with a few polaroids of you and friends and some fairy lights that twinkle at night. Among them is two pictures of you with Yoongi. The first from when you were ten and your mom managed to catch him and you napping on the sofa together and the second was from the last few months and he’s wearing that smile you love. It only makes you miss him more.

College officially doesn’t start for one week, the seven remaining days are filled with orientations and registrations and parties. Almost every bar and restaurant in the area have deals and themed nights on in order to entice the students out and it works.

The third night as an official Hangyang student you find yourself at dinner with Seokjin. After he had struggled to get your mattress into your room he had winked at you and said ‘you can make it up to me by buying me dinner’. Sufficiently guilty at receiving so much of his help you had agreed.

“I spent almost my entire first year here.” He jokes as he sits opposite you at a typical burger place he’d insisted you take him to. “You won’t find a better burger in a fifty km radius.”

“We’ll see. I have plenty of time to find out.”

Now that you’re out of the earshot of your parents you take the time to apologise for them roping him into helping you move. Seokjin waves it off with a genuine smile. If you didn’t know better you would think he wanted to help you. 

Surprisingly it’s easy to spend time with him and you soon discover you have a lot in common, beyond being on the same course and coming from the same town. He watches re-runs of 80s sitcoms too and loves bad horror movies. He even has the same obsession with milkshakes you do. 

“Let’s share one.” He suggests, ordering only one lone milkshake from the waitress. 

“This isn’t 1950. Or lady and the tramp.” You laugh, scrunching up your noise. 

“Hey! Lady and Tramp share spaghetti. Have some respect.” 

“Oh I’m sorry, I naturally should have assumed that you, a twenty two year old college male felt so strongly towards an old disney film.” You giggle.

He leans in close and beckons you to do the same, as if he’s going to whisper a secret. “I think it’s the cutest film ever.”

“Aw, you’re a secret softie.” You smile.

“The softest.” He agrees. 

Your milkshake arrives and it suddenly dawns on you why he wanted to order one to share. This thing was as large as a two liter bottle, and after a huge burger you doubt you could have finished one alone. 

It’s almost - dare you say it - cute, sharing the dessert with him. You’re glad you agreed to the dinner. It’s been years since you spent time with another boy that wasn’t Yoongi and it’s nice. Between some of the classmates you’ve met, your roommates and Seokjin college feels hopeful. You’re excited. 

You go to pay the check but Seokjin stops you with a laugh, assuring you he was only joking before. “Let me treat you, as a thanks for your time.” He says before walking away with a grin. 

Three weeks away from home and your routine is beginning to shape and settle itself. Classes aren’t as hard as you expect them to be but you have a sneaking suspicion it won’t stay that way for long. Seokjin offers to help if you need it and you’re grateful that he’s slowly becoming a friend. 

Thursday nights have become a regular thing in your new home. Areum, Oli and yourself make it a thing to have dinner together and gossip about the week. Oli is majoring in sports medicine so is almost always busy while Areum is studying law, which all but shackles her to the library. 

There’s a knock on the door and you hop to your feet, hungry and eager to receive the chinese food you’d ordered for the three of you. To your surprise is Seokjin on the other side and not the delivery guy you’ve become so familiar with as of late. 

“Seokjin. Hey! What brings you here?” You ask, trying not to sound too put out. As far as you were aware you had no prior plans arranged.

“I just finished my shift at the library and thought I’d come see my favourite freshman.If that’s okay?” He eyes you curiously.

“My roommates and I were just about to have dinner. Unless you want to join?” One more can’t hurt and usually you order far too much food anyway. He agrees eagerly with a smile 

Areum and Oli have met Seokjin once before and they greet him warmly when he joins the three of you in the small sitting area. Areum helps you grab some plates and napkins in preparation for the food arriving. Once in the kitchen she peeks over her shoulder to make sure she’s not heard, whispering lowly - “Are you two dating now?” 

“W-what?” You stutter, so completely taken aback you almost drop the porcelain you’re holding. “No!” 

“Don’t look so offended.” Areum laughs at your reaction. “He’s gorgeous. And so into you.” “No he’s not. Don’t be ridiculous.” You’re quick to defend. Seokjin is your friend and nothing more. You have Yoongi. Sort of. 

“So you wouldn’t mind if he and Oli…?” She nods her head towards the two of them, talking and smiling.

“Of course not.” You answer sharply. Areum looks at you as if she doesn’t believe you but doesn’t press the topic further as you rejoin your friends.

“Oh y/n, before I forget someone called for you this afternoon. I totally forgot to say before I had my nap.” Oli says as you sit down. “That Yoongi guy.” 

Both of the girls are familiar with Yoongi, given the amount you speak with him.  You called each other every other night, it was unusual for him to call during the day. “Oh. Thank you for letting me know. Do you guys mind if I call him back real quick before dinner?”

Your friends assure you it’s fine and you disappear to the kitchen where the house phone resides. Quickly you dial Yoongi’s number, having long since memorised it. You eye the clock, hoping it’s him that answers and not one of his parents. Thankfully your silent prayer is answered when his gruff voice greets.

“Yoongi, it’s me.” You begin quietly. “I’m so sorry I missed your call today, I only just found out - “

“ - It’s okay.” He interupts gently. “You’re calling now.”

“How are things?”

He lets out a worrying sigh. Something in your gut alerts you that things are not good for him right now. “Mom’s in the hospital. Courtesy of Mr Asshole himself.” He spits the last part out with venom.

“Oh my god. Is she okay?” 

“Yeah. No. Well, she’s alive. He broke her jaw, knocked out a few teeth.” He says it so casually, it only further exemplifies how used to this behaviour he has become. It’s a miracle he is nothing like his father. “She lied about it to the doctors but y/n, they know. I can see it in their eyes and they either look at us like we’re stupid or that they pity us.”

“I’m sure they don’t think that. They probably see instances like this all the time. It’s heartbreaking as an outsider.” You assure. “This could be a huge turning point. To actually get your mom away from your dad.”

“Yeah.” He exhales. It’s clear he doesn’t believe your nor agree. “Fuck, I wish you were here right now y/n.”

“Me too.” You reply softly, heart aching in your chest. You wish you were too. “It’s almost the weekend, maybe I can book a train home?” You have your first assignment due in a week and definitely don’t have the time to waste at home but for Yoongi you would do anything. 

“You don’t have to do that.” He sounds choked up. You wonder if he’s crying. “I’ll be busy looking after my mom anyway. I just needed to hear your voice. I miss you.”

“I miss you. Remember you have my key? Use it as much as you need it. You can always come up here for a day or a weekend.” You suggest.

The knock at the door signalling that the food has arrived is loud enough that Yoongi hears it through the phone. Areum’s voice yells to you as she answers it. “Sounds like you have to go. I’m sorry if I’ve ruined your evening.” Yoongi tells you sadly.

“Can I call you later?” You ask hopefully.

“Please.” Yoongi sighs. 

“Bye Yoongi. Speak soon.”

“Bye.”

You hang up, plastering on a fake look of happiness as you rejoin your friends. They seem convinced, apart from Seokjin. “Boyfriend troubles?” He asks, in a not so subtle attempt of inquiring information of your relationship status. Areum and Oli exchange a knowing glance. 

“No,” You reply with a shake of your head. “I don’t have a boyfriend. Just checking in with a friend back home.” 

“I see.” Seokjin side eyes you, a secret smile tugging at his lips. 

Strangely, Yoongi sleeps better knowing his mother is in the safety of the hospital. He spends the night alone, dad having long since fucked off somewhere. Yoongi doesn’t know where and more importantly, he doesn’t care. There’s peace in his home for the first time in forever.

His mind wanders to you. He hopes he hasn’t ruined your evening too much. From what you’ve shared through the phone college life is kicking off to a wonderful start. He wishes he could experience it too.

As you had anticipated, month two of college has your workload almost doubling. Thursday night dinners don’t happen weekly anymore, given how much time you spend studying just to keep up with the rest of your classmates. When you were in high school your natural ability allowed you to not just get by but succeed. 

To be struggling, this early on in college, feels embarrassing. 

You talk less frequently with Yoongi and your family. In fact you barely even see the people you live with. Seokjin, however you see often, given that he works in the library. The single downside to this means he’s the only one who knows your secret. That college is hard and you’re drowning a little.

Once again, it’s a friday night and you’re buried in a mountain of books, furiously taking notes. Your hand aches, you have eye strain and your stomach has been gurgling for the last hour and a half. The sound of the chair opposite you screeching along the marble floor forces you to lift your head. 

“You’re here more than I am.” It’s Seokjin, smiling at you as he plops down onto the chair. 

You sigh. “Yeah, we’ve got a huge essay due soon and I need to do well.”

“I can help you if you want. I’ve passed that course, remember?” He taps the side of his temple. “I’m as smart as I am handsome y/n.”

You can’t help but laugh as you roll your eyes. “I could use some help.” You begin timidly. “If you don’t mind! And you’re not busy. I know it’s Friday…”

“I’m happy to make time for you.” He smiles and you feel like a fool when it makes you blush. 

Seokjin spends a further hour in the library with you and your coursework. He helps you tweak the essay where it needs it, knowing exactly what the professors are looking for. By the time you’re almost done it feels as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Your stomach embarrassingly gurgles again and that’s when he decides you’ve had enough for one night.

“Come on, we’re getting food.” He is so commanding you can’t help but go along with it. 

Both of your roommates are out for the night so heading to your place seems like the best idea, opting to pick up some food on the way. You’re so dead on your feet having Seokjin practically push and pull you around and then home is welcomed.

The shrill pitch of a telephone ringing welcomes you as you cross the threshold into your apartment. You dash for the phone leaving Seokjin to deal with the paper bag of take out food. “Hello?”

“Hey.” It’s Yoongi. “I’ve been calling you for ages, y/n. Where’ve you been?”

“I’ve been studying. I guess I lost track of time.”

“You said you’d call me at seven.” Yoongi sounds grumpy and defensive. You wonder what’s happened at home now.

“I’m sorry. School is kicking my ass Yoongi.”

“Then don’t tell me you’ll call me at seven if you’re busy.” He almost spits at you. Someone’s clearly in a bad mood tonight.

“I said I was sorry.” 

You watch Seokjin behind you as he dishes the food on plates for you both, politely pretending to not listen to your conversation. He has no choice, the phone is stuck to the wall, leaving you trapped there. 

Yoongi heaves a long sigh on the phone. “I’m just struggling a little too.” He admits, leaving you feeling instantly guilty. 

“How's your mom?”

“Not good, but not any worse.” 

“I know it’s hard without me and Hobi there, but christmas is soon and I’ll be home for nearly four weeks.” You remind him. 

“I can’t wait.”

Before you can reply Seokjin’s voice is tearing you away from the conversation. “Do you want to eat in your room or the couch?”

“Couch.” You reply, hand over the receiver in an attempt to mute your voice. 

“Who is that?” Yoongi's voice is terse.

“Just a friend staying for dinner.”

“It’s a guy.” Yoongi states.

“A friend.”

“You said you were studying.”

“I was.”

“It doesn’t sound like it. You’re ditching me for a college boy already and it’s only been a few weeks. Glad I’m so memorable to you.”

He hangs up and you stand there in shock, the sound of the dial tone echoing in your ear.

Yoongi slams the phone down, an action that is usually satisfying but does nothing for him in the moment. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a few deep breaths, willing the anger he feels surging to subside. How could you move on so easily? He definitely had not imagined your feelings for him. So either he was stupid, or you had lied.

You’re hanging out with a guy who is comfortable enough to suggest being alone together in your bedroom and you have the audacity to claim he’s ‘just a friend’. He’s someone you clearly are overly familiar with. Yoongi scoffs out loud in sheer disbelief. 

He has to pull himself together. He can’t allow himself to get angry, not when his mom needs him. She still has a few more weeks of recovery and he’s been taking care of her best he can. An unfortunate and tragic upside to his mom’s injuries is that his dad has left her alone, leading to a relatively peaceful home life. Yoongi can’t be the one to destroy it now by letting his emotions get the better of him.

A few more deep breaths and he’s in a decent enough headspace to go check on his mom. Her painkillers are due soon, anyway. Yoongi retrieves a granola bar and some fruit so she isn’t taking them on an empty stomach. 

“Mom?” He knocks on the door to the spare bedroom, where she has been resting. The room was formerly Yoonseoks. In a bid to cling onto some hope of him returning, his mother has kept it intact. Yoongi knows his brother isn’t coming back. 

She makes a noise signalling he’s welcoming to come in. Because of her injuries she’s unable to talk well at the moment. 

“I brought you some painkillers.” He says gently, placing the items on the nightstand. She hums appreciatively. “I spoke to Dad.” He sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed. His mom nods, muting the TV she had been watching. “He’s staying with Uncle Jihoon tonight.”

His mom weakley reaches to squeeze his hand affectionately. He knows that means thank you. 

“The hospital called and confirmed your sick pay will extend.”He sighs, rubbing at his tired eyes roughly. “I said you were getting better and would be back as soon as you could.”

He stares at her for a few moments, wishing he had a normal life like you do. “I love you mom, I’m going to leave the door open if you need me.”

“I love you too.” She replies. It makes his chest squeeze knowing that she spoke, even though it pains her. Just to tell her son she loves him.

He nods curtly and leaves the room, ensuring the door is ajar. When he’s back in his own room he collapses on the bed exhausted. The last few weeks have been draining and his sleep is suffering. It’s restless, fraught with bad dreams. He sleeps much lighter, listening out for his mother. 

He wishes he didn’t resent you and Hobi so much for leaving him. He wishes his dad didn’t have anger issues and no self control. He wishes his mom was stronger and told his dad to get out a long time ago. More than anything, he wishes he had a normal life.

As ever you’re the nicer friend and you phone Yoongi to make up the next day. He feels like an asshole, knowing how much you hate conflict, but he misses your voice so much lately  that it’s enough to override his own dickery behaviour. As usual it  doesn’t take you long to have him smiling again. 

Before you part ways you tell him it’s only thirty three days until you’re home.  He promises to be there waiting for you at the train station the day you arrive. Something warm blooms in his chest and he realises it’s the first time he’s felt hopeful in weeks.

Seokjin insists on taking you out on the last night before winter break. Your complaints about the cold fall on deaf ears as he all but drags you from your apartment. He wraps his oversized red scarf around your neck throwing out a see? Now you have nothing to complain about. And he was right it felt nice., The cotton is warm against your skin and smells like Seokjin’s cologne. 

There’s a large christmas market close to campus in which he buys you some hot chocolate. It reminds you of the smaller one back home that you and Yoongi would frequent ever since you were old enough to understand the concept of the holidays. 

“Let’s go for a walk.” Seokjin suggests. “The Yanghwa bridge is pretty at night.”

There’s a comfortable silence between you as you stroll side by side. He spots you shivering and slips an arm across your shoulders, tugging you close to his side. His body heat is welcoming. You peer up at him to try and read his expression but he’s staring straight ahead, a wry smile playing on his lips. 

“I love Seoul.” You sigh happily. “I might actually miss it back at Daegu.”

“I wish I was going back to Daegu. My parents always go to Japan this time of year.” 

“You gonna send me a postcard from Japan?” You ask jokingly, nudging him slightly with your shoulder.

“Obviously. How are you going to go weeks without talking to me?” He grins. 

You shake your head with a laugh. He’s been such a welcome intrusion to your life lately a tiny, miniscule, barely there, part wonders the same.

Seokjin stops walking when you reach the middle of the bridge. The view combined with the lights is spectacular. You almost miss how he angles his body towards you until his hands are slipping around your waist and pulling you against his lean figure.

“Y/n, I really like you.” He says thickly.

You are almost unable to respond. You’re not stupid, he’s been dropping hints for months now but to actually hear the words leave his mouth is alarming. Your mind is racing a mile a minute, heartbeat increasing as you think of Yoongi. You shouldn’t be in this precarious situation, you’re not together but he’s yours - 

Seokjin completely disrupts your internal monologue by pressing his soft, plush lips against your own. He’s gentle, fearful as if you might completely reject him. When you don’t (to your own surprise) he presses his mouth against you a little harder. 

You don’t want to admit to yourself how good it feels. 

Seokjin’s large hands tug you somehow impossibly tighter against his body as he slips his tongue against your bottom lip, parting your mouth as he goes. It’s so different to Yoongi. It’s sweet. It’s new, uncharted terrority. Just as you begin to get into it and further deepen the kiss, his touch becomes infuriatingly tame.

He smirks at you when he finally pulls away. You can only imagine how dazed you look. 

“I- uh, what was that for?”

“You look cute in my scarf.” Is all he says, as if he didn’t have his tongue down your throat a moment ago. He laughs when your face twists with disbelief. 

“Seokjin, I’m not - I can’t. I shouldn’t be doing this..” You cringe at how embarrassing that sounds and how incoherent it is.

The confident exterior he brought with him tonight cracks just a little. “Why? You said you didn’t have a boyfriend.” He frowns.

“I don’t. But there’s someone. It’s really complicated. I’m sorry.”

“Ah,” He nods as he accepts the meaning of your words. “I see,” He sighs. “I’m not totally out of the running I hope?”

“I - “

“Look. Think about it over break. I like you. We have fun together! It would be nice to see where it could go.”

“Seokjin - “ You try once more. He shushes you with a smile. 

Despite the kiss the rest of the evening is nice. Thank god you don’t have to see him for a while though. 

The nearly four hour train ride back to Daegu leaves you with plenty of time to think. Too much time, as it turns out. As much as you attempt to bury yourself in the book and magazine you’ve brought to serve as distractions. 

Seokjin kissed you last night. Seokjin kissed you. Seokjin kissed you and you liked it.

You’re on your way to see a boy who you have admitted openly how you feel for him, a boy who has waited months for you and you spent your last moments away kissing someone else. Even though you and Yoongi aren’t official you still feel awful. And if you’re brutally honest with yourself it’s because you can envision dating Seokjin. One could argue you sort of are already. He’s definitely been courting you.

When you step onto the platform and observe Yoongi for the first time, your breath traps in your throat. He looks like a brooding artist standing there in his leather jacket and chuck taylors. Your walk turns into a half run in a bid to get to him as quickly as possible. 

He huffs an ‘oomf’ when you crash your body into his but hugs you so tightly that he sweeps you off your feet. 

Yoongi carries your suitcase to the car for you. Neither of you can wipe the lovesick smiles from your faces. He holds your hand across the console as he drives, occasionally rubbing his thumb on your palm. It’s so sickeningly domestic and you love it.

When you’re finally alone in your room his lips are on your neck before either of you have removed your outer clothing. He’s all kisses and whispered praise as he undresses you. You’re naked on your back for him as he licks your pussy and all you can manage to breathlessly gasp is “I fucking missed you.”

You come with his tongue buried inside you and his fingers tweaking your nipples. “I fucking missed you, my pretty girl.” He whispers, biting the shell of your ear. 

The weight of his heavy cock in your hand is familiar. A visible shudder runs through him at your touch. When you get on your knees for him an exhilarated sigh leaves his lips. “Gonna suck my dick huh?” He’s almost mumbling to himself. You answer him by taking his cock in your mouth. He groans like he’s never had his dick wet before. “Fuck,” spills from his mouth like a mantra. 

Before he has the chance to get carried away he’s fisting your hair and flipping you onto your front. Yoongi fucks you harshly from behind. The hand in your hair grasps at your scalp to leave your head permanently tilted back for him. He shoots his seed as deep inside of you as the angle allows. 

His heavy breath on your neck and sweat on your skin feels fucking fantastic. You could die right now, happy, satiated and stupidly in love with Min Yoongi.

Christmas Day had always been just another day in the Min household. He only became aware of how abnormal his family’s style was when he was barely a preteen and other kids at school would discuss the fantastical ways they spent their holidays. Even kids who didn’t celebrate the holiday seemed to enjoy it more. He didn’t particularly feel much about Christmas.

Until he met you. And your family welcomed him with open arms. A gesture which included inviting him over every single year. The invitation extended to his family but usually he attended solo (except for that one time Yoonseok joined and spitefully pushed your plate onto your lap). 

This year is no different. 

Your mom feeds him well. She’s kind to him, taking a keen interest in his life. Your father always asks about the one interest they have in common - basketball. It’s not much but Yoongi’s dad has never broached the subject. 

After dinner you suggest going for a walk, an idea with which Yoongi happily obliges. Unable to stop himself he’s lacing your hands together the moment you’re out of eyesight from your parents’ house. He kisses the back of your knuckles as he throws you a devilish grin. 

Naturally you gravitate towards the enormous Christmas tree and ice rink in the town center. It’s been a long standing tradition, however it feels far more romantic this time. It’s just the two of you and you’re holding hands, just like the other couples that frequent the area. The sparkling lights on the fir light up your eyes like stars.

Snow begins to fall as you come to a stop at the wooden railing that separates the tree from the public. Yoongi lifts the hood on your parka jacket up for you, kissing you on the cheek as he goes. It’s not even comparable for the amount you do for him but anything he can give you he will.

Adorably you nuzzle into him, resting your head on his chest. His arms automatically wrap around you and he lets out a breath of content. You probably won’t be able to stay out much longer given the rapidly declining temperature so he’ll enjoy this while he can. 

“Yoongi!” 

A voice startles him, calling out from somewhere in the distance. Yoongi’s head whips round to see Hoseok and Anni of all people. Without thought he quickly, albeit harshly, pushes you away from him, lest you get caught in such a compromising position. No one knows about you two and he’d like to keep it that way. He already knows you’re too good for him; he does not need others reinforcing it at every opportunity. 

Yoongi doesn’t think he’s made a mistake until he glimpses one look at your hurt, confused expression. 

“Hey guys.” Hobi greets you both warmly. Yoongi notices he’s holding hands with Anni. 

“Hey.” You reply. “Merry Christmas! It’s nice to see you both.”

“You too!” Anni replies warmly. “Did you have Christmas at the l/n house?”

“Yeah.” Yoongi mutters. “Just walking off the carbs.” 

“Hobi met my parents for the first time.” Anni’s expression is one of pure happiness and he can’t help but feel a little jealous. “We had dinner together too.”

“Aw, that’s lovely.” You say. Yoongi can tell you’re upset, your tone sounds forced. “I bet they adored you Hobi.”

“”Of course.” Hoseok flashes that winning smile. “When are you both free? We should go for dinner or something.”

“How about - “ Yoongi starts.

“I’m not sure, I’ve got lots of schoolwork.” You cut him off and he shuts up instantly. “I’ll phone you Anni and we can sort something out?”

“Sure.” Anni says slowly. “We’ll leave you guys. I want to go inside anyway because I'm cold. Hopefully see you soon!”

Anni gives you a warm hug while Yoongi hugs Hoseok. They both wave cheerfully as they leave. He watches their happy retreating forms until they disappear round a corner. When he faces you once more your body language has completely shifted. Arms folded across your chest, gaze turned downwards. 

He feels uncomfortable, he knows he hurt you but he’s not entirely sure how. Now it’s awkward. “Should we uh, walk some more?”

“Are you sure you want to be seen with me? You pushed me away from you so fast back there I almost fell over.” You mumble. 

“I didn’t mean to. Hobi and Anni don’t know about...anything.”

“So?” You finally look up to meet his eyeline. To his utter dismay your big eyes are glossy with unspilled tears. “Would it be so bad if they did?”

“Uh..I, um. I don’t know.” He trips over his wording like an idiot. The only reason he’s never breathed a word about your illicit activities to anyone is because he naturally assumed you didn’t want anyone to know. Yoongi wasn’t exactly the epitome of a model boyfriend.

“Why have you never asked me on a date? Why have you never asked me to be your girlfriend?” You demand and he panics. He doesn’t have an answer stronger than I don’t know and he’s confused as to why you’re so angry. He naively assumed what existed between you was enough. 

“Do you seriously think someone like me would make a good boyfriend?” He all but groans. You of all people should understand that fact. He’s never had a girlfriend. “I don’t do relationships.”

“Then why treat me like I’m yours? Why hold my hand? Why tell me you love me?!”

He doesn’t know what to say. He makes the fatal mistake of shrugging. 

You laugh mockingly. “Do you even love me? It feels like you’re just ashamed of me. Couldn’t even stand to touch me in front of your best friend. Just like that I let you have sex with me, I guess.”

“Y/n…” He starts. How is he even supposed to respond? This is all his fault. He’s only ashamed of himself, never you. “I can’t be what you need.”

An uncomfortable tightness constricts in his chest at the verbal admission. The sentiment has been lurking in the back of his mind since the moment he first started noticing you as more than just his friend. You deserve someone happy, stable, with a good background. Not the chaotic baggage he brings.

“You’re not allowed to have your cake and eat it too, Yoongi. That’s not fair.” You sniff as a lone tear escapes. “You can’t treat me this way, get jealous about dudes and then refuse to claim me.”

He had never even thought about it like that, unable to realise that’s what he had been doing to you.

“A guy at college kissed me, you know.” You blurt, heatedly.  His guilt quickly turns to shock and now Yoongi wants to throw up because you lied to him. You were off at college kissing people and then hopping back to him, the fool that waits for you no matter what.

“Is that so?” He mutters, hot anger bubbling in his chest. You nod staring at him fiercely. “I’ve met someone too.” It’s a lie. “I just respected you enough not to do anything.”

The entire atmosphere changes. You’re gawking at him as if he’s slapped you in the face.

“You've met someone?” 

He hums in agreement, terrified to commit even further to the lie. 

“Who?”

“No one that you know. But you’ve obviously met someone too, so it’s whatever.”

Mascara tears spill down your cheeks and it physically pains to witness. He turns his head to the side, unable to watch any further. He did this to you. 

“If it’s ‘whatever’ to you then maybe we shouldn’t do this - ” A sob chokes you mid sentence. “ - anymore.”

How is his Christmas day ending so spectacularly poorly? How is this his current reality? Yoongi’s brain and mouth stall, torn between the desire to rescue this horrific situation and hate you for kissing someone else. It simultaneously feels like a lifetime and a split second before you’re speaking, deciding for him.

“Nothing to say? Really?! Maybe I don’t know you so well after all,” the evident heartbreak in your voice makes his eyes burn. Now he really can’t bear to look directly at you. 

“You kissed someone.” He mumbles, weak and pathetic. “Maybe I don’t know you.”

“I’m leaving, don’t follow me.” 

He glances just in time to watch you walk away. “Fuck,” He groans a little too loudly, attracting the attention of a family nearby. Angrily he kicks a stone and clutches at his hair. He might be the biggest idiot alive. This is exactly why he could never be your boyfriend, he can’t handle anything.

Cold and numb, and not just from the weather, he reaches inside the breast pocket of his jacket and pulls out a cigarette. It’s a fairly new habit, so new you don’t even know about it yet, but fuck, does he need to take the edge off. 

You manage to escape your parents and disappear to the safety of your bedroom as soon as you arrive home. Aggressively you draw your curtains shut, a not so subtle message to Yooni. The implication is clear; you do not want to talk. You doubt he’ll be making an appearance tonight anyway. This was no regular arguement.

You recall that night you left for school, the night he told you he loved you. Technically he never said the words. You. knowing him for most of his life, had assumed he felt what you had. Perhaps you assumed incorrectly. Horrifically inaccurately. And now your heart is wilting in your ribcage. 

Stupid, lovesick, little girl.

The train ride back to Seoul is bordering on unbearably lonely, despite the carriage full of passengers. The days after Christmas that bled into New Years seem like a depressing blur that you don’t wish to recall but somehow can’t stop thinking about.

You haven’t heard from Yoongi since that horrible night. You wonder if someone else is occupying his time and that’s why he doesn’t wish to make amends. It’s always you extending the proverbial olive branch. You want him to want to do the same. Right now it looks like he doesn’t.

a/n: if this gave you a rollercoaster of emotions and made you feel sad, dw you’re not the only one, lol. each part is going to be about 20k so buckle up babies! (this story is still going thru editing so if u see mistakes IM SORRY) thank you as always for reading :)))))) P.S feedback makes me happy, lmk what u think! what u think might happen! if you want to slap me for writing so much angst lol! <3

masterlist

i don’t condone any copying or translations of my work. written 2020©

[mugiwara-rosewolf]

Alphabet Headcanons

One Piece Edition

Portgas D. Ace

SFW

A= Affection (How affectionate are they with an s/o?)

Ace is a charismatic, kind-hearted man, and with an s/o he’s the consummate gentleman. Especially in the beginning, Ace will check in to see/find out what’s okay with you and what’s not.

For example, let’s say the two of you are walking down the street at a village market. If you feel his pinky twine with yours, the motion will be quickly followed by his warm breath murmuring in your ear; “Is this okay?”

Needless to say, if you reply by intertwining your hand entirely with his, Ace will be over-the-moon and beaming for the rest of the trip. If twining pinkies is all you can handle in public, that’s okay too. Ace will still be happy knowing that you trust him with your boundaries.

Once he knows you’re okay with physical affection, little gestures like these will slowly become the norm. He’ll hold your hand everywhere if you let him. He loves kissing every inch of your face when you’re looking especially cute.

The closer the two of you become, the more he’ll want to show how much he loves you. Whether it’s wrapping an arm around your waist/shoulders, or a fleeting kiss on the cheek--if you allow it, PDA will quickly become one of his favourite things.

As for when he wants affection from you--it’s a bit of a coin toss as to whether he’ll let on how he’s feeling. He usually hides his bad moods pretty well. But what you’ll learn over time is that he often looks for affection when he’s feeling down.

Sometimes he’ll ask to hold your hand or go in for a hug (often silently, he does tend to get quiet on these kinds of days) and has a hard time letting go once you do. In public, he’ll often opt for the former, because in private he won’t have to let go of you unless you ask him to. 

Other times it’s him just giving you a look. In public, he plays it off as a ‘suave’ eyebrow lift, like an open invite from Casanova. (Though the smile typically gives him away--he’s not always as smooth as he wants to be). In private, it’s the infamous sad, silent, yearning puppy-dog eyes following you around (you know it’s a real bad day when he’s just staring off into space with that look on his face).

All in all, Ace is a very tactile, and affectionate partner. But he will always be sure to confirm what kinds of gestures you’re comfortable with so as not to overwhelm you. He wants you to be comfortable and enjoy his loving gestures whenever possible.

B=Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

Okay, there are two sure-fire ways to really impress this boi. 

First is with your kickass skills. If you can match him or beat him at something, this man will definitely take notice. It could be a physical skill, maybe matching him in a fighting or eating contest. It could be verbal skill--like when you’re roasting his arse for his damned-reckless behaviour. Either way is damn sure to capture Fire Fist’s attention. 

Second would be the smaller, more intimate things. Take his narcolepsy for example. When accommodating for Ace’s narcoleptic episodes, it tugs at his heartstrings when you lay his sleeping head on your shoulder, or bring him down to your lap. When he wakes up to your gorgeous smile and your fingers combing through his hair, he falls in love all over again.

C=Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

Honestly, all types of cuddles are Ace’s favorite, he’s just not the type to say so out loud. 

That’s not to say he’s ashamed of his tactile nature. On the contrary,  Ace is especially partial to cuddling you and giving you surprise hugs.

Hugging you from behind when you’re in the middle of a conversation and stuff like that are completely fair game unless you request otherwise. Sometimes he’ll place the faintest of kisses on your forehead as you cuddle into his embrace.

No matter what though, Ace radiates heat. So even just sitting together side by side you can feel how warm his thigh is against your own. He doesn’t really bother to regulate his body temperature either unless someone else points it out. 

But even then, it’s harder for Ace to relax if he has to concentrate on managing his body temperatures. So, cuddles with Ace are always hot. Which…usually means you both end up cuddling or falling asleep with the duvet shoved under you or to the side of you because the heat is too much.

Once he becomes comfortable enough (and ensures that you’re okay with it) there’ll be some nights where he’s just clingy. Sometimes draping himself over your back, sometimes clinging to your torso like a koala cub. He feels comfortable and safe when he can take a nap resting against you. It’s actually kinda cute. 

The only issue is when he falls asleep on top of you and you can’t get him off. He’s basically a human furnace so you just suffer there until he either wakes up or someone comes around to help you.

When he’s having a particularly bad day he gives you The Look (as mentioned in A for Affection) and you know what it means in an instant.

D=Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

“I’ll become a great pirate and show them what I can do!” That’s what Ace declared to his brothers as a child. And in some ways, it could be said he fulfilled that childhood dream. He became the infamous ‘Fire Fist’ Ace--known all across the world in one way or another, even before Blackbeard blabbed about his parentage. He made a name for himself, by himself just as he always dreamed he would.

Yes, his purpose did change upon meeting Whitebeard; wanting his new captain and father figure to become the next Pirate King in order to prove how great a man he was. 

That being said, I can imagine Ace’s dreams evolving yet again when he meets his s/o. Both of the aforementioned goals/dreams are ambitious, but one key commonality between them is that they both seek to Prove something. Therefore it would make sense to presume that the next evolution of his ‘dream’ would share the same foundation.

At the beginning of your relationship, for example, it’s quite possible that Ace’s goal would be to prove that he is worthy of being your partner or to prove how much he loves you in some tangible way.

He dreams of all the ways he can make you smile and laugh and ensure that you’re happy with him. 

He dreams of all the moments you’ve ever said ‘I love you’ and how he could find a way to hear those words again.

He dreams of all the times he’s told you that he loves you and all the possible occasions where he can hold you close and tell you over and over again.

He dreams of returning to Dawn Island, to Fuchsia Village and the mountains where he was raised so he can show you all his childhood memories. 

He dreams of sailing with you and the Whitebeards for the rest of his days. He dreams of proving he can make you happy, in any way that manifests.

In other words—what it all boils down to, truly, is—Ace dreams of being alive  Happy with you.

E=Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

One thing we all know about Ace is that he doesn’t do things half-assed. EVER. 

This boy is dedicated. Once he sets his mind to something, Fire Fist will always follows through (a trait which can turn deadly when combined with his short temper and impulsivity). 

Point being, if Ace wants your relationship to work, he will make it work. Whatever it takes. 

Don’t let his playful charm fool you. Ace is a gentleman who takes your relationship seriously, always treating you with the utmost politeness and respect. 

He’ll open doors for you, he’ll *try* not to swear in front of you (good luck, pirate)--and knowing him the gestures just get more ridiculous from there.

He just wants to show you that he values you and your relationship. The only other people who are of equal value to him are his little brother Luffy and his father Whitebeard. 

All the same, Ace has committed himself to love you, protect you and to make you happy no matter what it takes. 

F=Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

Ace is impulsive and protective. Whatever it is that scares you, Ace’s first instinct is to tackle it head-on. Nothing’s gonna hurt you, not while he’s around.

At his core, Ace is worried about you. When he sees your fear, he acts without thinking, immediately responding to anything that makes his blood boil. And nothing lights him up faster than his loved ones being insulted and/or threatened.

Fire Fist (with serious effort) can learn to take a step back when he thinks you’re strong enough to handle a particular threat/fear. 

But the moment he thinks you might actually get hurt, all bets are off. He can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt if he can do something to prevent it. This man will die to protect his loved ones. End of story.

G=Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Ace is not a terribly materialistic person, especially not by pirate standards. (He doesn’t even own a shirt, for God’s sake!)

But the things he does own, mean a hell of a lot to him. (Striker, anyone? Stetson, maybe?) 

So, in that way, finding gifts to give him is kinda challenging. You can’t really get away with the first little trinket that makes you think of him. It needs to be something of hefty significance. 

He doesn’t expect any gifts from you, not even on his birthday. He’ll always be surprised when people get him things. He’s surprised that people value him. 

Due to personal trauma, he doesn’t think very highly of himself. He desperately wants to prove himself a worthwhile part of other’s lives. He wants to be helpful--he needs to be needed. 

So when he’s searching for a gift to give you--he ends up having the same struggle you do with him. He wants to give you something really meaningful. Which is why a lot of his gifts to you will be handmade instead of bought. In each one you’ll be able to see the time and effort he committed to making it for you. 

If one thing can be said about Ace, whatever he goes for, he does so to the fullest.

H=Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

He may not always initiate them, but the boi loves hugs. If you’re comfortable with PDA, he’s definitely adding ‘Hugs’ to his repertoire of affectionate gestures. 

But even more than giving hugs, Ace finds love and gratification in receiving hugs from his s/o--especially when he’s having a tough time (See A for Affection).

Ace knows that he is a tactile person. It’s a truth of his personality that he knows and accepts, but doesn’t often flaunt without reason to do so. Finding his s/o, for example, gives him the perfect opportunity to express this part of himself. 

The second division commander is especially partial to cuddling you and giving you surprise hugs. Tossing an arm over your shoulder, tucking an arm around your waist, Hugging you from behind when you’re in the middle of a conversation--all this stuff is fair game unless you request otherwise (See C for Cuddles).

He especially loves those full-frontal Bear-hugs. You know the kind--the ones where both of you are swathed in each other’s embrace. Arms wrapped around each other, heartbeats pressed together, chins tucked into each other’s shoulders/chests/chins--(trying to accommodate for all heights here, bear with me). 

The point being, Ace loves the moments when the two of you are completely intertwined. That’s when he feels the most grounded. Certain in the fact that he is here, and he is loved. 

Oh! And one more thing. Ace gets surprisingly flustered if you hug him first--sometimes to the point where part of him accidentally catches fire--he’s super careful not to burn you, though. 

But when he hears your contented sigh--god forbid you nuzzle into him--the man just melts. All of his protests fall away, and he’s left standing there, tenderly wrapping his arms around you with the softest love-struck smile in the world.

I=Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

Ace is a romantic at heart, of that you can be sure. 

But, he also has deeply internalized abandonment issues and fear of rejection. His father chose to die before he was born. His mother died not long after he was born. Almost everyone who’s ever become attached to him has either died or not stuck around long enough to meet that same fate. 

Not only that but all throughout his life, Ace has been subject to degradation. Strangers saying that his father was a demon and that ‘the child of the Pirate King’ was nothing more than worthless spawn destined to be just as bad--if not worse--than Roger himself. 

As a result, Ace thinks that he is cursed, a worthless son of a demon who will be rejected and abandoned as soon as others learn of his parentage.

So, prior to him sharing his family history with you, Ace will definitely struggle with intimacy. He’s frightened of being vulnerable in case his expectations/fears come true...that you will think just as little of him as he does of himself.  

As his feelings towards you grow, the more those deep-seated fears will swirl in his mind; 

‘If I tell them who I am, they’ll leave me.’

‘They’ll hate me.’ 

‘It’s no use, the moment I fall, they’ll either leave me or die trying.’ 

‘I don’t know which is worse.’  

It’s going to take a lot in order to get through to him. You’ll need to be patient--you can start small and maybe ask about what he wants for the future, or sprinkle in little tidbits about the present, instead of wallowing in the past. You can pave a path forward together just by talking plainly about what you want from your growing relationship.  

As your mutual trust builds, Ace will slowly start to unwind. The more time you spend together, you’ll start to feel each other ‘sync up’ with teamwork and such. He’ll start to grow more comfortable sharing his ideas and opinions, even if the two of you disagree on something. Over time it may get to the point where you and Ace are both acting or speaking at the same time. (Ace finds it endearing, don’t worry). 

Once Ace knows that he can be his true self around you--that you won’t reject or abandon him because of his ‘monstrous’ parentage/lack of worth--he’ll grow more comfortable trusting you, sharing his thoughts and feelings with you. And in return, he will wordlessly swear to consistently support you and keep your secrets just as you’ve kept his. 

All throughout the growth of intimacy in your relationship, if you pay close attention, you’ll see slow growth in the number of romantic/intimate moments between the two of you. As the intimacy between you grows stronger, you’ll be able to feel its presence--something that brings peace and rejuvenation to both your souls. A bond that is unique to your relationship and allows you both to relax and be at ease. 

At first, moments like this are rare, probably in part because of Ace’s genuine responsibilities to the Whitebeards as a division commander. But as your relationship grows, you’ll notice Ace begin to commit himself more and more to making time for the two of you. Eating meals with you, a lingering hug and kiss at the end of each day and--if he can swing it--arranging a genuinely romantic ‘date’ between the two of you. 

Ace will definitely dance with you out of nowhere. He’ll take your hand and twirl you around just to hear your surprised laughter. As mentioned many times before, Ace will take any excuse to touch his s/o affectionately throughout the day, not just when either of you wants to be romantic. He wants to give you all of his attention whenever he can. Whenever you want to talk to him, expect direct eye contact, perked ears and an affectionate smile.

Though he greatly enjoys PDA with you, Ace also likes the intimacy that comes from privacy. Those moments when he knows you are both in a safe space and can share your feelings with one another, even uncomfortable ones. Privacy also gives him the space to be truly intimate with you, so that he can learn the way you like to be held and touched. He wants to learn about you just as you took the time to learn about him.

J=Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Oof. Okay. Yes, Ace does get jealous. And he’s exactly the kinda jealous you’d think of when the word pops up. There are two, maybe three big traits working against Ace in this regard. 

One would be his reckless and fiery temper. This is the trait that sent him on a deadly goose chase to capture Teach. His mercurial emotions lead him to make hasty, impulsive decisions, sometimes to the point of blatantly forgoing reason. This trait leads to your typical abrupt Alpha-Male confrontation with whatever stranger is trying to flirt with you. 

Second would be his wolf-like protectiveness. This is the trait Akainu used to goad him to his death, first by mocking Whitebeard then by targeting Luffy. Ace can be very protective, though he struggles trying not to be overbearing. If you’re capable of handling a situation yourself, he’ll try his best to stand back and leave it to you.

But, if he feels a situation is getting out of control, he’ll come to your aid in the blink of an eye—literally guns blazing. If Ace hears someone saying lewd comments about you or notices anyone targeting you--ya’ll better believe this man is gonna say/do something about it. 

Third, and perhaps the most powerful motivator in this scenario, is his deep-rooted insecurity. This is a man who has been questioning his worth, his very existence, for as long as he can remember. 

Then you come along, someone who makes this life worthwhile, and he sees you ‘getting comfy’ with someone else. It makes him angry, sure. But more than that it hurts--makes him a question and doubt all over again.

Thus, we have jealousy. Needless to say, Ace will not be thinking clearly when he confronts whoever is getting too close to you. He will be angry and protective and irrational. 

So, unfortunately, it will be up to you to de-escalate things and keep some sort of fight from breaking out. You’ll be the one to pull him away and get him to calm down. You’ll be the one to explain the situation, to talk him through what he’s feeling and why he feels that way. He’ll tell you the truth, you two will make amends (and hopefully plan in case of future incidents). 

Fair warning, in order to fully console your fiery partner, be prepared to give a whole lot of affection and reassurances. And patience, always patience--goodness knows this man is trying his best to be good. Please, grant him grace.

K=Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

Fair warning, it’s likely Ace would have had at least a few flings before you. He’s a handsome, charming guy—guys like him are like flypaper, attracting all the honey’s in a given radius. And with the company he keeps (PIRATES) he’s bound to have spent a night (or ten) in a brothel-esque setting.

All that to say, this man has experience. Not as much as Marco or the other Whitebeards, but still, a little experience counts for something, right?

At the very least, Ace will be a fantastic partner when it comes to kissing, 9 times out of 10, his kisses are either passionate & enthusiastic or affectionate & goofy, especially with an s/o. 

Yes, Ace likes to kiss you, the frequency is irrelevant. Yes, casual PDA is pretty commonplace with him, he fucking loves it. But anything heavier than a peck? He typically prefers to keep that between you and him. 

He is WAY too embarrassed to make out in public. Makino’s manners-lessons are ingrained too deeply by now, even if his s/o is purposefully driving him crazy. --He’s not opposed to a quickie in a broom closet or anything of the sort; just as long the two of you are out of plain view when snogging and such. If you two have at least some modicum of privacy in those more heated moments, Ace considers it fair game. 

The only two exceptions are when he’s feeling playful ‘bet you a hundred berries I can take your breath away’ or jealous ‘you are my treasure, those damned bastards better back off’ —those are his two very different kinds of showing off. 

L=Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

Honestly? He’s a little bit of both. 

Whenever Ace says “I love you,” those words are meant for your ears and your ears only. He doesn’t say them all that often, either. 

The more frequent sign of his affection, you’ll realize, is his peculiarly ‘discrete’ flirtations. Murmuring little comments/compliments whenever you cross paths;

 “Great job! You were wonderful back there, darlin’.” 

“That a new hat? Sexy.”

 “You look handsome/beautiful, my love.” 

and of course the obligatory “Last night was *spectacular*”

And it only gets more endearingly ridiculous from there. 

With the help of a bit of alcohol, Ace is plenty more affectionate towards you. He’ll shower you with compliments, make flirtatious jokes, and basically smother you with love. For example, say some of the crew are fawning over someone beautiful like Dracule Mihawk or Boa Hancock. Ace might joke with them, but the moment no one’s looking he’ll murmur in your ear;

 “The Greatest Swordsman ain’t half as sharp as you, babe.” 

or “The Pirate Empress ain’t got nothin’ on you, darlin’,” 

any reaction you might have will be met with a wink and a smirk.

At the start of every day--if he doesn’t say how he looks forward to seeing you again before he leaves, he’ll always acknowledge how much you mean to him-- “I love you.”

M=Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

When he first set out to sea? Ace had no intention of getting married. Falling in love, getting married--the only thing he associated all that with was settling down. ‘Settling down’ in his mind meant the opposite of freedom. So of course none of that ever occurred to him. Having been raised in the wild with only his little brother to love, Ace always assumed that ‘Falling in Love’ was something that happened to other people, not to him. 

As the years went on, Ace’s insecurities also played a role in this misconception--after all, who would want to fall in love with a demon-child like him? The son of the monstrous pirate king could never be loved by a stranger. Even if he did learn to care for someone that way, the moment they learned who he was, they’d betray him in some way. Maybe they’d leave him, turn him in, try to kill him; somehow the world would try to punish him for trusting someone, just like it did with Sabo.

So, even after he builds his own crew, joins the White-beards, even after he gains some experience pub-crawling with the WB Commanders, emotionally he keeps his distance from romance.  That is...until he meets his s/o. Everything about his relationship with you is completely unexpected. He knows that you like him, he knows that you trust him. You took the time to support and get to know him--something not many people in his life had done to such an extent. 

Suddenly, his entire perspective on love is turned on its head. He still doesn’t really give two shits about the institution of marriage. The whole ceremonial pomp and circumstance bit doesn’t really vibe with him. But the idea of you two staying together for the rest of your lives? That he can get behind.

N=Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

Honestly, unless someone else brought it up, Ace probably wouldn’t think to do anything fancy for a date. If you were with him and the Whitebeards as they landed on a carnival island or something he could certainly make a date out of it. But unfortunately for your resident hot-head, he doesn’t have much of a propensity of planning ahead. He’s a lot like his little brother in that way--outside of the battlefield, he’s a little bit of a dumbass.

Like, let’s say you land on an island that’s having some sort of cultural festival. The first thing Ace would do is dive head first to plunder all the food-stands, leaving you to trail behind and pay for the mess he made. After he’s had his fill, then you can get properly dressed (if necessary) and enjoy the rest of what the island has to offer. At that point, Ace would remember something besides his hollow leg and try to make up for his embarrassment. 

Good thing he has *the best* wingmen a pirate could ask for; Marco and Thatch. Marco has those empathetic sensibilities, if he’s met you before, then he has a pretty good intuition for the kinds of things you’d like. And Thatch, with that classic pompadour, knows how to put a romantic spin on just about anything. Hell, even Izo would put in his two cents more often than not.  He’d be more than willing to be a co-conspirator, guiding you to through the dates they plan for you and Ace without spoiling the surprise.

Thanks to friends like that, you and Ace get the crow’s next to yourself at least once a month, enjoying a picnic Thatch made for the two of you and basking in each other’s company under the stars. After a while, you might just be able to mark the dates on a calendar. But you don’t mind, Ace enjoys intimacy that comes from privacy. Those moments when he knows you are both in a safe space and can share your feelings with one another, even uncomfortable ones. And besides, the night sky seems to give Ace a certain peace of mind, so it’s all worth it.

O=Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

As mentioned before, Ace doesn’t often plan romantic happenings ahead of time. Mostly because he’s kinds clueless in that department. The most he knows how to do is those little tender gestures; Eating meals with you, a lingering hug and kiss at the end of each day, things like that. He wants to give you all of his attention whenever he can, but he’s not always the best at those big romantic dates. That kind of stuff either occurs by happenstance, or thanks to the orchestrations of friends. 

So whenever Ace does take romantic initiative--unprompted--you bet your bottom dollar it’s gonna be extraordinary. After all, this is Ace we’re talking about. When talking about elaborate activities spent away from the daily routine, the first thing his mind will jump to is Adventure. Nature hikes, scavenger hunts, stargazing on a mountaintop, all the roller coasters at a given carnival--the list goes on.

A lot of these ‘adventures’ will result in him giving you little ‘gifts’ as well; a bouquet of wildflowers he collected on your hike, a scavenger hunt ending in all your favorite things, a plush he spend God knows how many berries on to win for you. The gestures would only get more endearingly ridiculous from there. Granted, a lot of his gifts to you will be handmade instead of bought. But now matter how they were earned, in each one you’ll be able to see the time and effort he committed to making it for you (See G for Gifts).

Ooh! Ace will definitely dance with you out of nowhere. He’ll take your hand and twirl you around just to hear your surprised laughter. Ace will take any excuse to touch his s/o affectionately throughout the day, not just when either of you wants to be romantic (See I for Intimacy).

P=Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

There is no doubt about it. Ace is a complete and utter goofball. Therefore, he is also the goofy-type of lover.  If you ever blush at his teasing, Ace will absolutely relish in it. He’ll find it so adorable that he’s rolling around on the floor. The mental image of your flustered face would be absolutely priceless to him. In all honesty, he’d probably try to experiment from there--see what kinds of teases or compliments get the greatest reaction out of you. 

He does have some empathy for you, though. When Ace was younger he’d act the exact same way. Makino would lovingly tease him and he’d get all flustered too--definitely a shy boy. He loves to joke around and playfully tease his s/o, but at the end of the day, he’s always a sweetheart.

The funny thing about Ace is, the boy loves to not only tease you but to show off. The damned pirate is always trying new tricks with his powers at the most inopportune times. Literally the first thing he thought of when he got his Fire-power was ‘Oh my god, Luffy’s gonna love this!’ Now, the same applies to his s/o. He can’t wait to show you just what he can do. Whenever you are fighting Marines, if he beats one of them up, he always looks up at you and grins. 

Another thing to keep in mind is--regardless of what stage your relationship is in--Ace likes to drag you into his shenanigans. As mentioned earlier, Ace is an gung-ho adventurer. Plundering food stands, conquering roller coasters, this boy has a lot of energy. And if there’s not adventures to be had on a given day, what better way to release it than make himself and his friends laugh?

You need to be prepared for some risk, though. It’s no mystery that Ace is an adrenaline junkie and can have reckless/stupid ideas. Sometimes you both might end up hurt because of his bad decisions. 

Sometimes he’s a sweetheart, sometimes he’s an asshole. But whatever ruckus you got involved in, somehow you always end up happy and smiling.

Q=Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

This is an aspect of your relationship with Ace that develops slowly over time. At first, there’s that goofy, overly-polite layer of him that doesn’t think ahead enough to bother asking questions. At this stage of your connection he behaves in a way similar to the adage that says; ‘Better to ask for forgiveness than permission’. He won’t ask your opinion before he does something, but he may come to you afterwards, either to apologize or reflect on whatever he did. 

After peeling back that layer, you’ll find the lingering remains of his tsundere childhood roots. That lost, self-hating child so desperate to prove his worth and strength that he doesn’t want to be vulnerable to anyone. The boy with whose expression was a stony brick wall deflecting the rest of the world. This is how you’ll know, there’s a part of him believes that showing uncertainty is a sign of vulnerability, something others can mock and degrade, just as the bandits and so many others did. 

At that stage of your connection, it’s a bit of a coin toss as to whether he’ll let on how he’s feeling. He usually hides his bad moods pretty well. By the time the two of you come together, he’s mature enough to realize that scathing retorts are not the answer to everything. He’s no longer the kind to immediately lash out when someone asks him too many questions--but he certainly will if pushed too far.

But what you’ll learn over time is that he often looks for affection when he’s feeling down. Sometimes he’ll ask to hold your hand or go in for a hug and has a hard time letting go once you do. Other times it’s him just giving you a look. A lot of these gestures are often silent; he does tend to get quiet on these kinds of days. But it’s the first sign of him opening up to you. 

In public, he plays it off as a ‘suave’ eyebrow lift, like an open invite from Casanova. The smile typically gives him away--he’s not always as smooth as he wants to be. In private, it’s the infamous sad, silent, yearning puppy-dog eyes following you around. You know it’s a real bad day when he’s just staring off into space with that look on his face (See A for Affection). 

Once Ace knows that he can be his true self around you--that you won’t reject or abandon him because of his ‘monstrous’ parentage/lack of worth--he’ll grow more comfortable trusting you, sharing his thoughts and feelings with you. And in return, he will wordlessly swear to consistently support you and keep your secrets just as you’ve kept his (See I for Intimacy). 

In short, yes, Ace will eventually come to rely on you, quite closely, in fact. He will learn that he can ask your opinion on things, that he can share his own thoughts and feelings freely with you at anytime. But it’s a long, arduous journey for him to reach that level of trust. Showing that you love and trust him; asking his opinion on things, standing by him through thick and thin--those are a sure-fire way to build that faithful trust in your relationship.

R=Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

Spontaneity is Ace’s middle name (lol). It comes with the territory of being an impulsive, hot-headed dumbass with a penchant for adrenaline and adventure. There are seeds of it scattered throughout his personality and his relationship with you.

Ace will dance with you out of nowhere. He’ll take your hand and twirl you around just to hear your surprised laughter (See I for Intimacy). 

He’ll take any excuse to give you surprise hugs. Tossing an arm over your shoulder, tucking an arm around your waist, Hugging you from behind when you’re in the middle of a conversation--all this stuff is fair game unless you request otherwise (See C for Cuddles).

That combined with his peculiarly ‘discrete’ flirtations--never fail to take you by surprise (See L for Love). 

It’s no mystery that Ace is an adrenaline junkie and can have reckless/stupid ideas. Our resident hot-head doesn’t have much of a propensity for planning ahead. Regardless of what stage your relationship is in--Ace is going to drag you into his shenanigans (See P for Playful).  

And whenever Ace does take romantic initiative--unprompted--you never know what you’re gonna get. Could be nature hikes, could be scavenger hunts, could be stargazing on a mountaintop, or it could be just all the roller coasters at a given carnival (See O for Out of the Ordinary). Honestly, the possibilities are endless.

S=Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

Oh, this one varies. A lot. 

First, there’s Ace’s narcolepsy, which very much affects the way he sleeps with his s/o. Hell, it affects the way he lives his life. But, one inadvertent positive of Ace’s narcolepsy, was how you could surprise him with those small, intimate moments of affection. If he falls asleep hugging you from behind, then he’d just stand there snoring with his chin propped on top of you head (depending on your height). 

If he fell asleep sitting next to you, you could let him rest his head on your shoulder, or pull him down into your lap. That’s one thing he loves, waking up to you. It tugs at his heartstrings when you lay his sleeping head on your shoulder, or bring him down to your lap. When he wakes up to your gorgeous smile and your fingers combing through his hair, he falls in love all over again (See B for Breath).

Second, Portgas D. Ace is a human fucking furnace so honestly, he’s always gonna be warm. The way you sleep together is gonna depend on how much you need that heat. 

If you and Ace are parked on a winter island, you bet your bottom dollar the two of you are gonna be clinging to each other for dear life. Not that Ace necessarily needs any more body heat in order to keep warm. He’s just taking advantage of this prime opportunity for cuddles. He can cling to you like a koala and you’ll actually welcome the gesture. It’s a dream come true!

If you and Ace are parked on a summer/desert island? That’s a whole other debacle. Summer islands are always hot. It’s just a matter of whether it’s dry heat or humid heat. With dry heat--you could *probably* get away with spooning? Or at least with one person lying on the other’s chest. With humid heat--everything is damp, warm, sticky and being near human skin is almost miserable. Your best bet is holding hands while facing each other in your cot/cabin/tent wherever you are. Desert islands are an exception to this because deserts often get pretty chilly once the sun goes down. This is where spooning becomes *most* likely. 

Beyond those two extremes, almost any position is fair game. Ace loves it when he’s in your lap and you’re playing with his hair. There are happy days, where he loves to be the ‘big spoon’ and nuzzle himself in the crook of your neck. And there are hard days, where his mind is a minefield and he just needs someone to hold him close. He loves lying face to face, weaving his fingers between yours. Could be any kind of day, doesn’t matter to him. What matters is that he can just relax and admire you, and just how lucky he is to have you. 

But maybe, just maybe, he does have a favorite way to hold you. Of all the ways in the world to hold someone, Ace loves when you lie on top of him. With your head on his chest, you can feel his heartbeat under your ear. And just like his heartbeat is to you, your weight is an anchor. I can feel you, know that you’re there, present and loving--always loving. So yea, that’s probably his favorite way to be.

T=Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

Given time, Ace will come to trust you with everything he has. But, as mentioned before, it is a very long, slow and arduous journey to reach that point. Luffy had to endure weeks, if not months, of Ace trying to lose his tail, if not actively trying to kill him, before they reached a point of mutual trust. From then on, Ace was willing to protect his brother with everything he had--including his own life. 

But before you can get to that point, you must assuage his deeply internalized abandonment issues and fear of rejection. All throughout his life, Ace has been subject to degradation. He grew up internalizing the hate directed his way, and no one knew to contradict it. Almost everyone who’s ever become attached to him has either died or not stuck around long enough to meet that same fate (See I for Intimacy). 

As a result, Ace has a lot of self-hatred accumulated in his heart. He also has a lot of problems being open about it. He’s so used to shouldering mistakes that are not his own. His blood carries all the crimes of Gol D. Roger, the Pirate King. He’s frightened of being vulnerable in case his expectations/fears come true...that you will think just as little of him as he does of himself.

Ace will definitely struggle with trusting you. This is an aspect of your relationship with Ace that develops slowly over time. At first, there’s that goofy, overly-polite layer of him; he’s cordial, charming, and fun to be around. But it’s hard to get a clear read on him at that point; who he is, how he thinks, and how his thoughts influence his actions (See Q for Questions). 

After peeling back that layer, you’ll find the lingering remains of his tsundere childhood roots. That lost, self-hating child so desperate for a reason to live. He tells the world that he wants to be remembered. He wants to prove that he, as an individual, is worth more than the legacy of his father. But that dream, that grand ambition, also translates itself in smaller ways. He wants to be wanted, needs to be needed. 

At that stage of your connection, it’s a bit of a coin toss as to whether he’ll confide in you. He’s no longer the kind to immediately lash out when someone asks him too many questions--but he certainly will if pushed too far. Even then, he’s not likely to explicitly tell you this deep-rooted need in the core of him. So it’s likely something you’ll have to learn by observing his words, his actions, his being (See Q for Questions). 

However, with you around--especially when your relationship becomes more stable and long-standing--he slowly breaks.  As your mutual trust builds, Ace will slowly start to unwind. The more time you spend together, you’ll start to feel each other ‘sync up’ with teamwork and such. He’ll start to grow more comfortable sharing his ideas and opinions, even if the two of you disagree on something (See I for Intimacy).   

That being said, once Ace knows that he can be his true self around you--that you won’t reject or abandon him because of his ‘monstrous’ parentage/lack of worth--he’ll grow more comfortable trusting you, sharing his thoughts and feelings with you. And in return, he will wordlessly swear to consistently support you and keep your secrets just as you’ve kept his (See I for Intimacy). 

In short, yes, Ace will eventually come to rely on you, quite closely, in fact. He will learn that he can ask your opinion on things, that he can share his own thoughts and feelings freely with you at anytime. But it’s a long, arduous journey for him to reach that level of trust. Showing that you love and trust him; asking his opinion on things, standing by him through thick and thin--those are a sure-fire way to build that faithful trust in your relationship. With your constant support, he becomes more confident and calm--and he’s definitely sure he is loved.

U=Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

Oh, so many things. Ace is such a unique combination of character traits, sometimes it’s difficult to articulate just how they call fit together in one human being. 

As an s/o, Ace is cordial, charming, and ever-the respectful gentleman. Then you get to know him, and he becomes this goofy dumbass who will take any excuse to touch you, hold you and take you on these crazy adventures exploring the world together. Dive even deeper, and you discover the utter depth of him. He is a vulnerable soul who has internalized the worst of the world he was born into--yet he stills finds reason to smile. 

What makes Ace unique as an s/o? His resilience. If you two come to a disagreement, he may lose his temper in the moment. But give him time, give him patience, give him grace, and he will come back to you. No matter his fears, no matter his doubts, he will find a reason to push through. If one thing can be said about Ace, whatever he goes for, he does so to the fullest (See E for Effort).

That’s not to say resilience can’t be a double-edged sword. There are a few coping mechanisms Ace developed in order to persevere through life that actually inhibited his ability to connect with people the way he longed to. After all, how many times did Whitebeard have to deflect Ace before the boy understood that he didn’t have to fight his way through life? And how many times did Luffy have to almost-die chasing the lonely boy through the jungle before he finally accepted the company? 

All the same, if you remain just as stubborn as he is, you will give him yet another reason to get back up; another reason to live. Take this hypothetical argument as an example. It may take a few tries to get through his thick skull, but he you will eventually talk things out and come to a resolution. He’ll grow from the experience and the two of you will be all the stronger for it. That’s what perseverance and resilience is all about.

V=Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

If you were ever vulnerable around Ace, he would support you wholeheartedly. If you were to get stuck in your own negative thoughts/feelings about yourself, he’d hold you as close as possible and refuse to let go until you admit you’re a good person. No matter what you say about your past/insecurities, Ace won’t judge you or let you feel as though you deserve any of the trauma you went through (big or small). He knows that you are better than you think you are and he won’t let you feel the same kind of self-loathing he has. 

Ace is a very outgoing man. He’s surrounded by countless friends and keeps making new ones every day. There’s something in his exceptional charisma that makes people cling to him. However, Ace does not open up easily to others. It would take a while for Ace to really open up to his s/o, just because he’s internalized all of his negative thoughts and feelings about himself from a young age. 

Over time, however, he’d slowly grow to trust you and one night, when it’s just the two of you together somewhere, Ace would just tell you what’s on his mind. “Sometimes I don’t think I deserve you--your love--or anyone’s really.” 

The conversation would turn into the two of you opening up to each other (equivalent exchange for the win!) Ace would tell you about all the things weighing him down; his father being Gol D. Roger, his mother dying to keep him safe from the World Government, being called a ‘Demon-child’ all his life, his time in the mountains with Luffy and Sabo, meeting Whitebeard and joining the family--all of it. 

By the end of his story, tears soak his cheeks, his lips are red and raw, his voice hoarse and his words thick with emotion. He looks like a mess and you won’t know how to fix it. The best you can do is hold him, guide him through it. 

The conversation would likely end with both of you promising to support each other from then on. Whenever one of you starts to feel insecure or lingers too much on the past, you’ll have a keyword to communicate how you’re feeling. 

He might not acknowledge ever being in this state later on, but he will thank you quietly that night--and every night after if you’ll let him. “Thank you...thank you for loving me.”

W=Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

Ace does not share food. EVER.

His narcolepsy makes him fall asleep in the weirdest situations--and in the weirdest positions. You can’t possibly count the number of times you fell to the ground because he dozed off while carrying you on his shoulders.

Or because he does it mid-kiss or hug and just leans on you. Or because he trips and accidentally knocks you down. He’s not even ashamed of it--unless you get hurt somehow during these incidents--otherwise he’ll just laugh it off, if a little sheepishly.

X=X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

Ace is our resident self-deprecation machine. Whatever happened, however you got hurt, the man would find some way to blame himself. Always thinking; it should have been me. 

He would be terrified out of his mind. He knows you’re strong, but sometimes he forgets that you can still get knocked down. He’ll camp outside the infirmary door until he’s allowed to come in. The moment he’s given the go-ahead, he’ll charge into the room and wrap you up in his arms as close as he can. He needs to feel you and reassure himself that you’re alright. 

Even after he’s been assured that you’re okay and that you’ll recover, Ace will hardly leave your side unless there’s some unavoidable responsibility he has to take care of. There will be moments when his mind will try to twist things and make him feel like a bad partner; as if he’s the reason for your injury, whether because he was the target of the attack or because he couldn’t protect you. 

You’ll have to be the one who keeps those thoughts at bay. Ace will make sure you never want for anything, for as long as you’re recovering. He won’t ask for anything in return. But between him supporting your physical health and you supporting his mental health, the whole ordeal will only serve to make your relationship stronger.

HOWEVER-- once he finds out who hurt you--he’s going to be just as relentless as he was chasing Teach. The guilty party won’t even be able to hold a pencil again once Ace is done with them (if they’re even still alive afterwards). 

Y=Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

If you try and steal his food, he will bite you. There’s still a Little bit of that feral child energy that rears up whenever something annoys him. He does not appreciate jump scares for that exact reason. His adrenaline and danger radar will immediately be turned up to 11 and he is no longer responsible for how he responds to the perceived danger. (Though he’ll probably apologize profusely anyways, cause he’d feel horrible if you got hurt by his knee-jerk reactions). 

On the other hand, there are a few scenarios when perhaps his narcolepsy can become a bit trying. If he starts snoring when you’re in the middle of telling him something important. If he falls asleep on top of you and you can’t get him Off. There could also be situations where his formality gets in the way of what you’re really trying to talk about. Once he starts apologizing for something, things can go on for a while. But the level to which these quirks annoy people, depends on the individual.

Z=Zeal (Are they passionate as an s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

Ace is, as always, full of passion and impatience. He’ll certainly appreciate a similar amount of fervor from his partner, but it’s not a criteria, by any stretch. Whether you’re extroverted, introverted, bouncy or chill AF, he’ll gladly accept you exactly the way you are.

On his end, however, there are instances where Ace’s intensely passionate personality can come back to bit him in the ass. One would be his reckless and fiery temper. This is the trait that sent him on a deadly goose chase to capture Teach. It also leads to your typical abrupt Alpha-Male confrontation with whatever stranger is trying to flirt with you (See J for Jealousy). 

His mercurial emotions and stubborn determination lead him to make hasty, impulsive decisions; sometimes to the point of blatantly forgoing reason. Once he sets his mind to something, Fire Fist will always follows through--a trait which can turn deadly when combined with his short temper and impulsivity (See E for Effort) .

At the very least, Ace will be a fantastic partner when it comes to kissing, 9 times out of 10, his kisses are either passionate & enthusiastic or affectionate & goofy, especially with an s/o (See K for Kisses).

In the end, if there’s one thing we all know about Ace--it’s that he doesn’t do things half-assed. EVER. This boy is dedicated.  Point being, if Ace wants your relationship to work, he will make it work. Whatever it takes.

[etoileholland]

Why must I meet you in a secret rendezvous?

@rosieholland​ asked “Hey I love all your imagines! Maybe you could do one where the boys are stuck at home during quarantine but Harry’s best friend y/n is staying with them. And Tom and y/n and secretly start dating and don’t say anything because they don’t know how Harry will feel about it.

Pairing: Tom x female reader; bestfriend! Harry

Warnings: a lil argument, I think that’s all

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: thank you so much for requesting this, and I really hope you enjoy! As always, requests are open, and let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.

It was a dangerous game to sneak around your best friend’s back, especially since you weren’t very good at keeping secrets.

You and Harry were nearly inseparable, and it seemed as though when someone saw one of you, then the other was somewhere nearby. When he began to work on his short film project and needed an actress, he called you first. You had known Harry for almost two years, and you met over what you call “the frozen yogurt debacle”. This needs no elaboration since it’s not important to the plot, but it’s important to note that a terrible shared experience can bring two people together.

A week into filming, it was announced that the UK would go into lockdown, and that meant filming had to be postponed. Since you spent more time at the Holland residence than your own, Harry asked if you would quarantine with them.

Naturally, spending so much time together with people for a few months would make it so that you get very comfortable around everyone.

The boys knew that you were physically affectionate, so no one batted an eye when you were cuddled up next to someone. Most of the time you were always with Harry, or sometimes Sam, and occasionally Tom.

That’s why no one suspected that you and Tom were secretly dating, especially Harry. You had vowed to keep it a secret from him because you didn’t want him to get mad at you for dating his brother.

Sneaking around was quite fun though, and it was becoming more and more like a game.

“Baby” you trailed off, moaning as Tom trailed kisses down your neck. You were both in his bedroom with the door locked, trying not to make any noise. Harry’s room was right on the other side of the wall, and it was a dangerous game to be making out in Tom’s room.

“Love, I need you-”, he placed a kiss on your shoulder, biting lightly as you moaned, “to be quiet.”

“You’re making it quite difficult.” You breathed back and he let out a breathy laugh.

“Good.” He kissed you deeper, and you heard Harry say something from the other side of the wall.

“Tom.” You were trying to untangle yourself from him, but he just kept pulling you closer. “Harry said something.” You managed to sit up, and Tom just pouted.

“So? He’s probably playing fifa or something.” He said, lifting his head slightly to kiss you on the lips.

“What if he knows?” You asked and he just shook his head.

“You’ve gotta tell him eventually. As much fun as it is to sneak around, you should be honest with him. He’s your best friend.”

“And he’s your brother.” You replied. “I don’t know, I guess I don’t want him to hate me for being with you.”

“I really doubt he’ll hate you, if he really loves me then he’ll be happy for me being with someone as lovely as you.” He stated and you nodded.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. Now if you’ll excuse me,” you cupped Tom’s cheek with your hand, placing a light kiss to his cheek, “I did promise Harry that I would bake cookies with him.”

“Alright darling, cuddle later?” Tom looked at you with wide, puppy dog like eyes and you let out a small laugh.

“Of course, see you later, secret boyfriend.” You whispered while holding up finger guns.

“Back at you, secret girlfriend.” He winked as you quietly left the room.

——

“Earth to Y/N, why are you so distracted?” Harry waved his hand in front of you, gently slapping your cheek. “What is going on in that pretty little mind of yours?” He smirked as he let out a small laugh.

You two were supposed to be baking some cookies, but you’ve been lost in your thoughts for the duration of the activity.

“I’m just thinking about how in Italian, when you want to describe a loving boy with a good heart, you say “è buono come il pane” which literally means “he’s as good as bread” and I think that’s beautiful.”

“Actually, yeah that is beautiful. Would you describe me that way?” He looked up from the cookbook and you nodded. “Yeah of course, they must’ve had you in mind when they came up with that term.”

“Aw gosh I love you.” He put his hand over his heart and smiled, “but really, what are you thinking about? Hmm?” He prodded and you felt yourself already start to panic. He took a long drink of his water bottle, while continuing to stare at you.

“Okay fine, I was thinking that the guy who’s in the “Adam.” vine and the “hi, welcome to chili’s” guy are not the same person, but twins and I don’t know what to do with this information.” You rambled and Harry choked, gasping for air.

“Girl, you have got to use your one braincell for something more important than that. You’ve gotta be kidding.” He said but you shook your head no.

“Dead serious, why would I lie to you?”

“I don’t know, sometimes you don’t always say everything.”

“What do you mean by that?” You inquired and Harry remained silent.

“Nothing.” He choked out the word, and began to stare straight ahead. “Anyway can you just pass me the vanilla?”

—

“We can’t continue to do this anymore.”

A few days had passed since the baking incident, and you were convinced that Harry knew about you and Tom. You two were making out in the hallway closet, since it was one of the furthest points away from Harry’s bedroom, and far enough away from the living room so no one would hear you. You had begged Tom to not show any affection in the main parts of the house so that you wouldn’t get caught, so you two often ended up here.

“Whoa whoa, what do you mean by that?” His eyes scanned your face, and he rubbed your arm as you stood there silent.

“Baby please say something, it’s killing me. What do you mean we can’t do this anymore?” He whispered.

“I can’t sneak around behind my best friends back anymore, Tom. Okay? He’s gonna find out and he’ll be mad and I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose either one of you but if I had to choose-” you stopped yourself, and Tom looked at you with wide eyes.

“Finish your sentence.” He insisted, but you shook your head no. “I don’t want to finish it.”

“Say it.” He pleaded, and you looked down so he wouldn’t see a tear escape your eye.

“Say it!” He screamed and you flinched.

“I didn’t want to choose, but if I had to pick then I would pick Harry, alright?” You choked out the last word, and took a deep breath before finishing your thought. “I want a relationship with you but just because I want it, it doesn’t make it right. I love being Harry’s friend, and I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship just for a relationship with you.” Tom backed away from you, speechless as he reached for the door handle.

“Tom I’m sorry, just wait one second.” You grabbed his hand and he stood there, waiting for you to break his heart again.

“Let’s not make things weird between us, yeah? Then everyone will know for sure what happened.” You stated.

“Right, because now we care so much about what others think.” He added as he left, closing the door and leaving you in the closet alone.

You knew this day would come, and you braced yourself for it, so when it crumbled you were prepared for it. You just felt numb, and the shock almost hasn’t registered yet. You left the closet and walked into the living room, where Harry and Sam were playing video games.

“What’s with the long face?” Sam asked as Harry looked up at you.

“Oh nothing, I was just thinking about how once I got a fortune from a fortune cookie that read ‘fortune not found: abort, retry, ignore?’ and I think I’ve been destined for bad luck ever since that fateful day.”

“Ah, cool. Hey would you want to play a game with us?” Harry asked, completely ignoring what you had just said.

“Sure, what kind?” You asked, but before you had a chance to find out what it was, Harry bolted past you.

“Tom, Tuwaine, Harrison, get over here!” He ran up and down the hallway, trying to get everyone’s attention.

“What in the world?” Harrison asked.

“Did someone die?” Tuwaine inquired, peeking his head out of his bedroom door.

“It’s nothing bad, wanna play a game with all of us?” He asked and everyone groaned and rolled their eyes.

“Well what kind of game?” Harrison said hesitantly as Harry just grinned.

“I’ll explain once everyone comes into the living room because I don’t want to explain it twice.”

Everyone made their way into the room, and Harry instructed them to sit on the floor in a circle. Just then Sam downed the last of his beer and set the bottle on its side in the middle of the circle.

“Alright, it’s truth or dare, but with a twist. Technically it’s more of a spin, it’s regular truth or dare but instead of singling each other out, it’ll be more fair with the spin the bottle aspect.” He rambled, taking a seat right next to you.

You noticed that Tom was sat as far away from you as possible, and dodging your gaze. You looked back to see Harry resting his hand on your knee.

“Are we ready to play? I’ll go first.” Harry spun the bottle and it landed on Harrison.

“Alright mate, truth or dare.”

“Dare.”

“Okay.” Harry paused, “I dare you to read the last text message you received.”

Harrison unlocked his phone, and after a few seconds spoke. “Aha, it just says “Your amazon package is on its way.”

“Dang I was hoping it would’ve been juicier than that.” Harry remarked as Harrison spun the bottle. It landed back on Harry and he just smirked.

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Last lie you told?” Harrison leaned his arms back and propped himself up with them. Harry thought for a minute and just shrugged his shoulders.

“I told Sam that I really liked his squash soup recipe but it’s utterly disgusting.” He gagged and Sam punched him in the arm. “Oh come on, it’s not that bad, right?” He asked and everyone remained silent.

“Whatever, spin the bottle asshole.” Sam crossed his arms over his shoulders as Harry spun the bottle, landing on you.

“Oh god.” You blurted out and Harry replied “Oh god, indeed Y/N. Truth or dare?” He grinned like the Cheshire Cat and your fight or flight instinct immediately kicked in.

“Truth.” You spit out, and Harry just looked you dead in the eye and said “I dare you to tell everyone that you’re dating Tom behind my back and decided not to tell me about it, even though I trusted you completely and entirely.”

“I-I’m, um, not, well-” you stammered. Your vision was becoming blurry and you felt a panic attack coming on. Without warning you jumped up and ran out of the room.

“Okay I think he had that one rehearsed.” Tuwaine remarked, and the room became silent again. Everyone looked at Harry disapprovingly, and the tension in the room was so thick you could cut right through it.

“Why would you say that?” Harrison asked and Harry was silent. “How do you even know she’s dating Tom?”

“Was dating, we’re not together anymore.” Tom added and everyone looked at him.

“What?” Harry asked, and Tom replied, “You heard me, we’re not dating anymore. She broke up with me earlier because she knew it was wrong that we didn’t tell you. She felt so guilty about it that she tossed her happiness aside to make sure you would still be her friend. She chose you over me, and now I’m starting to think she may have regretted that decision.”

“I’m a terrible friend, aren’t I?” Harry whispered and everyone nodded their heads collectively.

“I’m afraid so.” Tom said quietly.

“I gotta go talk to her.” Harry got up and ran out of the living room. He sped walked around the house looking for you, until he found you sitting outside next to the chicken coop. You were sitting with your knees to your chest on a lawn chair, holding a blanket and looking at your phone.

He hesitantly stood at the glass doors, and cracked the door open. You looked up to see him standing there, and you averted your gaze away from him.

“Hey, can we talk please? I come in peace.” Harry said and you remained silent. He pulled up a chair next to you and sat down, and cleared his throat.

“Listen Y/N, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that in front of everyone. I should’ve talked to you about it in private, and I’m sorry. I know that was a dick move, and I regret doing it.” His gaze was soft as he looked over at you, but you were avoiding his gaze, and pulling on a loose blanket string.

He sighed and continued to speak. “Tom said you broke up with him because you felt guilty for sneaking around. I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to sneak around, though. If he makes you really happy then I want what’s best for you. After all you’re my best friend, and I love you. And if your happiness means dating my brother then go for it, I genuinely mean it.”

You two sat there in silence for about a minute, until you finally spoke.

You knew?” You asked.

“Oh yeah, it was obvious.”

“What tipped you off?” You tilted your head slightly to look at him, and he met your gaze.

“When I came up behind you while we were baking cookies, I noticed you smelled faintly like Tom’s cologne, and how else would you smell like that if you weren’t constantly close enough to him?”

“Well, I also cuddle with you and Sam, so that’s not the best indicator.” You said flatly and he smirked.

“I also heard you two kissing outside at midnight. You were making right above my open bedroom window, of course I could hear you. Look, my bedroom window is right there.” He pointed upwards and you could clearly see his potted plant in the windowsill. “Also, Tom isn’t a silent lover if you know what I mean.” Harry lifted his brow as you began to choke. He patted your back as you tried to catch your breath, which resulted in him breaking out into a fit of laughter.

“I should’ve asked you if it was alright that I dated Tom. I’m sorry I went behind your back.” You had your head low and Harry shook his head.

“You shouldn’t have to be sorry. I shouldn’t have made you feel like you have to sneak around, just to be happy. Do you like him?”

“Of course, I mean sure, he gets on my nerves,” you let out a small laugh, “but I really do like Tom. He makes me happy and I enjoy spending time with him.”

“Then you have my blessing.” He stood up and bowed dramatically.

“Are you sure, Harry? I mean I-”

“Little one, I want you to be happy, even if it means you dating my imbecile brother.” He laughed and you pulled him into a tight hug. “Thank you.” You whispered against his chest, and he whispered back “You’re welcome. Now go get your man.”

“I love you Harry.”

“I love you too, Y/N. Now go.” He ushered towards the door and you made your way back inside.

It didn’t take long to find Tom, who was sitting on his bed, eyes focused on his laptop. He looked up to see you standing in the doorway, and he shifted his gaze back to his laptop.

“Tommy?” You walked over to the edge of the bed and sat down. He continued to ignore you, and you felt as though you could cry.

“Please look at me? I’m sorry I broke up with you. I shouldn’t have and Harry said I have his blessing so that we-”

“Wait what did you say?” Tom cut you off, closing his laptop and sitting up. He scooted closer to you and put his hand on your knee.

“Harry said that he’s okay with us dating, so-.” You were cut off again by Tom crashing his lips onto yours. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him, your chest flush with his. Breathless, you pulled away for a second, but Tom only pulled you in again.

“Are you mad-” you tried to speak but he cut you off yet again. “Don’t speak, okay? We’ll talk later. I just want you now.” You crashed your lips onto his, Tom moaning as he kissed you more passionately.

——

Mes petits anges (taglist): @scarletxwidow​ @starkissedholland​ @fangirlwithasweettooth​ @lmaotshollandd​ 

[blu-joons]

DATING SUPER JUNIOR A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Lee Donghae

A ⇴ AFFECTION

You can guarantee when Donghae gets affectionate with you, his cheeks are a dark shade of red. He finds affection very reassuring and comforting, so will often try and hold you against him or bury himself into the crook of your neck.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

Being a bit quieter than some of the other members, you were intrigued by him when you first met the group. Hyukjae could tell instantly that Donghae had taken a liking to you, he tried to often bring the two of you together in conversation because you were usually too shy to approach each other. He found himself talking around you a lot more which he loved.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

He was incredibly shy when it came to confessing, he was a perfectionist, and nothing could go wrong. He didn’t plan anything huge, just in case he got rejected, but he still put together a nice meal at his house, a casual movie night was all he had planned. When he turned to you at the end of the film, you had a funny feeling that something was going on. It took a while, but eventually he built up the courage to tell you exactly how he felt.

D ⇴ DATES

Your dates were quite typical, Donghae loved to pick you up in his car and drive you around before taking you somewhere nice. Your dates had a lot of variation too, sometimes you’d just go out for dinner, but other times you’d try something a little more competitive, maybe the arcade or bowling. He was super competitive and hated when you won, especially when it meant the loser paid for dinner. He’d often surprise you with little songs or poems that he’d written late at night whilst working on music for the group on your dates.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

For a long time, he’d been too nervous to date, he knew that the other members were louder, so girls tended to gravitate towards them. When you began to pay attention to him, he had a strong feeling that this was the world’s way of telling him he was ready to start dating. It had been a long time since he’d been in a relationship, and at times things felt very strange to Donghae, but you were very understanding. He loved being around someone, he hated being alone, so very quickly the two of you began to spend a lot of time together as Donghae learnt about love again.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

If the two of you ever argue, expect a lot of tears. One minute the two of you will be yelling across the room at each other, desperate to win the argument, and then the next minute, you’ll look across and see Donghae struggling to hold back his tears. He hates conflict and confrontation, it breaks his heart, and eventually gets him very upset. As soon as one, or both of you, start getting upset you’ll make the decision to sit down and talk about everything, preventing things from getting any further out of hand then they already are.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

He was very keen for you to meet his family, after only a couple of months he invited you to a family dinner with him. There were thousands of questions on your first meeting as everyone tried to get to know you, but luckily for you, they were very impressed by your answers, and very impressed that Donghae had found you.

H ⇴ HOME

Again, he doesn’t always like to be left alone in his own company for too long, so it won’t take long before Donghae mentions about moving you in. To begin with, you’ll just think it’s a bit of a joke, but after the fifth time of mentioning it, you’ll begin to realise he’s being serious, and start to talk about it properly together.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Donghae was the first one to say it one night at the end of a date. As he pulled up in front of your house, he didn’t want to see you get out of the car. Before he’d even realised what he’d said, the words came from his lips as he tried to encourage you to spend the night at his. Your head snapped around with a wide smile, as you told him you also loved him too.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

He’ll try hard not to get jealous in your relationship, but sometimes he just can’t help it. He knows he’s not the loudest person in the room, so there’s usually someone who has your attention more than he does. If he gets jealous, he’ll become very reclusive, he’ll usually walk away so he can deal with his emotions alone so no one else can see. When you look around and notice he’s not around, you’ll quickly walk around until you find him, recognising straight away what’s going on. He’ll always apologise for feeling that way, but as you always assure him, jealousy is only a natural feeling.

K ⇴ KIDS

He wanted kids at thirty-three, so when that didn’t happen, he was desperate for it to happen as quickly as possible. It didn’t take long before he brought them up for the first time, and when you moved into his apartment, the conversation became a lot more serious. The two of you would spend many late nights talking about how you imagined your lives in the near future, deciding that you’d wait for when the time was right.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

Donghae laughs more than he talks most of the time, which you laugh. He’s got a bright smile, one of your favourite features about him, and seeing him happy always touches your heart. He’s very good with cheesy jokes, which as much as you don’t want to laugh at, you usually end up doing so. He loved to make you laugh, he’d always be tickling you or doing something funny to bring a smile to your face, especially when he knew you’d had a bad day. If he’s not making you laugh, he’ll somehow find a way to make sure that you do.

M ⇴ MISSING

He hated being away from you, it was incredibly hard on him. He’d always worry about you and fret that you were by yourself, checking up on you numerous times throughout the day. You’d have long phone calls whenever the two of you could find the time, usually they wouldn’t end until one, or both, of you fell asleep. He’d also send you plenty of photos so you could see all the fun things he was getting up to, expecting the same from you too so he could make sure that you were taking care of yourself. The minute he got home; he’d refuse to leave your side for quite some time.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

He’s very affectionate with his nicknames, ‘bub,’ is his favourite as it’ll always make you smile. You love to tease him with nicknames, knowing how hard he’s working on his body, ‘muscles,’ will always wind him up.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Donghae is obsessed with your eyes, he feels like he can tell a lot about how you’re feeling from your eyes. He also loved to hold eye contact with you, even if he usually does end up getting too shy and looking away.

P ⇴ PDA

He’s quite shy when it comes to PDA, he hates to make a massive deal of pointing your relationship out to people. His affection is very subtle, he’ll usually hold your hand, so people know that you’re his without being obvious. If he’s in a playful mood, maybe he’ll peck your cheek or something, but that’s usually as far as he goes.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

One of the most frequent questions he’ll ask is if you’re busy. Whenever he’s worked on something, whether it be music, or a recipe, he’ll be desperate to get your opinion on it.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACT

After a little over a year into your relationship, Donghae began to introduce you to people as his wife. The people close to you always referred to the fact the two of you acted as a married couple, so Donghae would love to play on that. What he enjoyed more however, was the confused faces of people, who searched for a ring with no idea what he was going on about.

S ⇴ SEX

Very loving, he’s very attentive and very romantic. He’ll always work hard to make you feel special, he doesn’t care if he doesn’t get as much attention, you’re his priority. He loves to have your hands in his hair, it always makes him shy. He loves to take his time and pay as much close attention as he can to you.

T ⇴ TEXTS

He doesn’t text you often when he’s at home, but the second he leaves you for tour he’ll text, constantly. He tries to have as much contact with you as possible so it can still feel like you’re there with him.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

Not many people appreciated his character as he was so quiet, but you were definitely one of them. He had plenty of quirks, and terribly cheesy jokes, but whilst others would tease him for it, you’d always laugh and make him feel special.

V ⇴ VACATION

He’s very keen on taking at least a few days out of his schedule in the year to take you on holiday. It’s his way of making up to you the many days you’re left waiting up for him to come home, or not even seeing him at all. He’ll tend to keep it all a secret, and surprise you that morning with tickets for somewhere he knows you’ll love.

W ⇴ WHINING

Donghae doesn’t whine often, but if he needs your help with something, he’ll be sure to let you know about it.

X ⇴ XXXXX

In private, he kisses you quite often. If you’re sat at your desk working, he’ll appear with a kiss to your cheek and a mug of coffee, or when he finds you sat reading, he’ll come up beside you and kiss the top of your head. His kisses are always when you least expect them, which in turn means they’ll always end up making you blush.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his best friend, well, if Hyukjae would ever allow you to be.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

He loved to have you nice and close when he slept, especially if you were playing with his hair. You’d have many late nights staying up, laying face to face and talking about anything that came to mind.

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Masterlist