#to understand how the world works. and i want a story told by a narrator that Says when things happen and doesn't leave me to guess

[lobotomy-maybe-bestie]

finding a new podcast to listen to is so fucking hard when you have specific ass taste and are scared of things that might disappoint you

[biblicalhorror]

Reading a court of thorns and roses bc it's been rec'd to me many times (by the same two friends mostly) and also I've never really read a smut novel before and Jesus christ this protagonist is insufferable

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 70 – American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis

I’m honestly not sure I ever would have gotten around to reading this on my own, but ended up buying it through the ‘blind date with a book’ thing a bookstore in New York was doing when I was visiting (incredible gimmick, for the record). The fact that it then took me a solid three months to actually finish probably tells you something about how genuinely difficult a read I found it. Not in the sense of being bad, but just legitimately difficult to stomach at points. Overall I’d call it a real triumph of literature.

Not that anyone doesn’t already know, but; the book is spent inside the head of Patrick Bateman, high-flying wall street trader and Harvard blueblood at the close of the Reagan era. Also a serial killer. The story is told as a series of more or less disconnected vignettes, jumping from dinner conversations at one exclusive bar or club or another to the brutal torture and murder of a sex worker to several pages of incredibly vapid pontification on Nina Simone’s discography. The story vaguely tracks Bateman growing ever-more alienated and out of control as the year goes on, but there’s very much not any real single narrative or cathartic climax here. - most stuff just happens (stuff that’s either incredibly tedious or utterly nauseating by turns but still just, stuff).

So yeah this is an intensely literary work (obviously), a word I’m here using to mean one that is as much about the form and style of the writing as about the actual events portrayed. Bateman is a monster, but more than that he’s just an utterly boring and tedious husk of a man, traits which are exaggerated to the point of being fascinating– if you told this story in conventional third person narration without all the weird asides, it would be a) like half as long and b) totally worthless. The tonal whiplash of going from an incredibly visceral depiction of Bateman cutting out the eyes of a homeless man to six (utterly insipid) pages on the merits of The Doors is the selling point here (well actually I think Ellis goes back to that specific well probably one time too many, but in general I mean).

Bateman is a tedious, unstable monster, but as far as the book has an obvious thesis it’s that he differs from the rest of his social milieu only in degree. A symptom of a fundamentally rotten society, not a heroic devil among sheep. The book’s climax, such as it is, involved Bateman getting into a drug-fueled gunfight with the NYPD, shooting multiple people in the middle of the street, and then stumbling home and leaving a rambling confession to every crime on his lawyer’s answering machine – but despite very clearly wanting and trying to get caught and face some sort of consequence or justice, people just refuse to believe that someone like him is capable of anything like that. (It’s not, it must be said, an especially subtle book).

There is, as far as I can recall, not a single character who gets enough screentime to give an idea of their personality who I’d call likeable. Sympathetic, sure, but that’s mostly because it’s pretty much impossible not to sympathize with someone getting horrifically tortured and torn apart (at one point a starving rat is involved). The upper crust of New York yuppie-dom is portrayed as shallow and vapid, casually bigoted towards quite literally everyone who isn’t identical to them, status-obsessed to the point of only being able to understand the world as a collection of markers of class and coolness, and totally incapable of real human connection. Bateman is a monster not because of any freak abnormality, but just because he takes all of that a few steps further than his coworkers.

The book is totally serious and straight-faced in its presentation, and absolutely never acknowledges any of the running gags that are kept up through it. Which shows impressive restraint, and also means that none of them exactly have a payoff or a punchline – it’s just a feature of the world that all the expensive meals at trendy restaurants everyone competes for tables at sound disgusting when you think about them for a moment, or that the whole class of wall street trader guy are so entirely interchangeable that ostensible close friends and coworkers constantly mistake each other for other traders and no one particularly cares. Or – and I’m taking this on faith because fuck knows I’ve got no idea what any of the brands people are wearing are – that the ruinously expensive outfits everyone spends so very much time and money on for every engagement all clash comically if you actually looked up what the different pieces looked like. The book’s in no way really a comedy, so the jokes sit a bit oddly, but they’re still overall pretty funny, at least to me.

I like to think I have something of a strong stomach for unpleasant material in books, but this was the first work of fiction that I had genuine trouble reading for content reasons in I can’t even remember. I’m not sure it’s exactly right to call the violence pornographic in a general sense, but as far as American Psycho goes the register and tone Bateman uses to describe fucking a woman and torturing her to death are basically identical (and told in similarly explicit detail), and all of Bateman’s sexual fantasies are more or less explicitly just porn scenes he wants to recreate, so. Regardless, the result’s pretty alienating in both cases – his internal monologue never really feels anything but detached and almost bored as he relays what he does, sound exactly as vapid and alienated as when he is carefully listing the exact brands and designers every person he ever interacts with is wearing at all times, or arguing over dinner reservations for hours on end with his friends and lovers (though both those terms probably deserve heavy airquotes around them). He legitimately sounds considerably more engaged when talking about arguing over sartorial etiquette. It all adds up to a really strong alienating effect.

Anyways, speaking of sex and violence – perhaps because my main exposure to the story before this was tumblr making memes out of scenes from the movie, but I was pretty shocked by just how explicitly awful Patrick is ‘on screen’. The horrible murder, sure, but also just the casual and frequent use of racist and homophobic slurs, the pathological misogyny, the total breakdown he has at the idea of a gay man being attracted to him and thinking he might reciprocate – all of these are entirely in character for an asshole Wall Street ‘80s Guy even if he wasn’t a serial killer, but it’s still oddly shocking at first to see it so thoroughly represented on the page. It makes how comparatively soft-pedaled the bigotry and just, awfulness, of villains in a lot of more modern books stand out a lot more, I suppose? I have read a lot of books that are in some sense About queerness and/or racism in the last year, and no one in any of them holds a candle to good old Patrick Bateman.

Part of that is just the book being so intensely of its time, I suppose. The New York of this book is very much one of the late ‘80s, incredible wealth living side by side with social rot and decay, crippling poverty everywhere and a society that has to a great degree just stopped caring. Absolutely none of which Bateman or any of his peers care one bit about, of course – they’re too busy showing off the latest walkmans and record players, going to the newest clubs, and just generally enjoying all the fruits of Reagan’s America. Recent history has made the fact that Bateman’s personal idol is Donald Trump almost too on the nose to be interesting, but in 1991 I’m sure it was a bit more subtle in how telling it was.

Anyway, yeah, horrifying and exhausting read, triumph of literature, my god did Easton Ellis hate America (this is a compliment). Now time to go watch the movie!

[bulkhummus]

Hey!! I’m curious, in what ways do you think wtnv sucks? I’m not necessarily disagreeing but I can’t think of anything tbh and your tag made me start wondering

Hi!

No piece of media is perfect, and expecting it to be is unfair to the creator, and unrealistic of the consumer. Being able to consciously understand the ways in which something you love also has flaws is a healthy way of engaging with the things you enjoy without succumbing to the all-or-nothing mentality of being able to enjoy, well, anything!

I love wtnv, obviously, it's about 90% of my blog, and I have listened to it for a very long time. I respect the creators (including the actors) for what they have accomplished.

However, there are a few things about wtnv that I as a listener and long-time fan have recognized as, lets call them, potential critiques. Sucks is too strong a word because I’m not focusing on specific instances where they have messed up (and they have, people make mistakes). This isn’t a list where I tell you specific things— but rather I just explain to you some thoughts I have about the show. This is, by no means, a complete or solitary list, or even an ‘accurate’ one. This is just my own opinion and you're welcome to disagree.

Consistency

I do not have the expectation of wtnv having continuity. I never once have, due to the nature of what it is, what it's about, and how it's written. I don't care if facts change. Cecil is an unreliable narrator. Timelines shatter and splinter off regularly in the show. Time doesn't work right for most of the podcast. The Cecil we listen to currently is not the same Cecil we were introduced to. Writers make mistakes when shows have been on for over a decade. etc etc etc. Instead, I use the word consistency.

The show lacks consistency in story telling. This is its strength! WTNV was a podcast made by a small group of people that skyrocketed in popularity very quickly. It was a passion project. It was a bunch of think pieces where the writers got to explore different styles of writing, different characters, and their thoughts and feelings on current events in real life. That’s what it was built on. It was recorded in a coat closet on a shitty mic and then suddenly it became a livelihood with a massive following. So, the show lacks consistency in story telling, which to me has always been the joy of it, because of its freedom to do as it pleases. A lot of ‘plot’ would happen and we’d leave on a cliffhanger, and in classic Night Vale fashion, it’d be like 4 months before you heard about it again. However.

WTNV was introduced as a serial podcast where the only consistency was that they'd upload twice a month. With the introduction of mini-arcs, and later longer arcs (such as STREX, the DOW, or UOWII) the writers introduced the expectation of continuity. The story would build over the course of several episodes and resolve in some type of way. This requires more planning and greater attention to detail than episodes that are one-off or ongoing by the nature of what the show initially was. My issue here is that they have given themselves the problem of continuity given how they write longer arcs now — but they just don’t seem to fact check or communicate with one another when it comes to these arcs that span several episodes or rely upon info from older episodes. Now, the show often feels like its fighting between what it wants to focus on, and how it focuses on it and I am left sensing this inconsistency that I once used to enjoy. Which brings me to my next point.

Understanding A World

WTNV is a show about a fictional town, told by an unreliable narrator in the form of a radio show. When the show started, I felt it understood that very well. New characters were introduced as callers, or interviews on local news, ad reads, and even Cecil playing his voicemail on air. It operates under a VAUGE set of rules (but rules nonetheless) that this was a radio show.

There have been several instances, more recently, where I feel as if the show forgets that Cecil is a radio host and the story is told through his perspective about 90% of the time. It is that exciting 10% where we gain insight to the same stories from different characters giving us new information.

For example, having Carlos and Janet go back and forth at one another in the finale of the UOWII arc completely casts aside Cecil's perspective as the narrator, and as having control over the story. Cecil hated Janet. it would have been more amusing and in character for him to have ad libbed whatever Janet said and only play Carlos' parts -- only for her to burst into his live studio outraged that he wasn't fairly reporting and THEN tell her side of the story after wrestling the mic away from him.

My issue here is that, more recently, it feels as if they forget that operating under rules, or constraints, in story telling, actually helps them be more creative in how information gets delivered to the listener.

I think how they use their patreon needs a massive overhaul too but thats a different post. Which brings me to my next point.

Hand Holding

They are good writers. They are capable of balancing humor and horror in a way that enhances both. I have felt gutted, I have felt hopeful, and I have felt absolutely feral after certain episodes because they have good ideas and can write well!

So it becomes really frustrating when they just tell me a bunch of stuff without it being reflected in the show, or they don’t trust themselves as writers. I get it. Not every episode can be their best, but there have been several instances recently, in moments where it really counts, where I am just being told what's going on instead of it going on. I’m being told why things are happening instead of listening to them happen, and often I feel they forget they are writing something to be performed. They don’t need to explain all of their metaphors or explain what the point of a characters actions are. The audience is not stupid and things don’t always need to be spelled out. Which brings me to my next point.

Writing for an Audience

All creators have to work off of in terms of how well something is doing is fan engagement, especially in a smaller project like this. However, they have an audience that varies in ages of 11-45 given how long this show has been running for. Go to a live show you will see what I mean. How do you write for an audience who is that diverse in age? Should you have to? Is it bad engagement to not think about your audience? Sometimes something a 30 year old understands, a 11 year old may not. Not for any other reason but time and lived experience. Theres things 30 year olds forget about being 11! That’s how it works.

And while this is less of a problem they may have, it’s something I noticed about the reception of different episodes by fans. The second to last live show I went to I had the enjoyment of listening to two 13/14 year olds sitting behind me offering their vastly different perspectives on some recent episodes, especially given the fact that I heard one of them say they had only just started listening after listening to the first 100 episodes summary. Which brings me to my next point.

Duration

Everything I have said previously comes back to the duration of the show. I think its impressive that its been running for over a decade with consistency. And they should! In a perfect world, WTNV would run forever because of how much I love it. I love this show and I don’t want it to end. HOWEVER. If the quality of something begins to degrade because there is not enough time dedicated to it and the creators no longer find it engaging and exciting then I’d want it to come to an end. They’re people. They want to work on new things. I respect that! And I’d be heartbroken if the show faded out or ended in a rushed manner in an unsatisfying way because they decided on a whim they don’t want to make it anymore.

I think it is a disservice to the work, effort and history of the show for them to create a 100 episode summary and tell people to start there. Idc. “But Bulk people might not want to listen to 10 years worth of podcasting—“ Babes the show is 245 episodes long. They’re like 25 min a pop not including ads. It’s a bimonthly show. Buckle up and settle down. The creators should take pride in their work, and how long the shows been on for, and be encouraging people to start from the beginning. Let people experience for the first time what many people fell in love with. Why on EARTH would you tell people to NOT start at the beginning? To me, as a long time fan, it feels like the creators don’t have faith or pride in their work.

I’m not saying they don’t dedicate time to their show of 10 years, because how could I know that, but, when they don’t fact check (because now there is the precedent of continuity, especially with newer fans, because they chose to write more serially) and they tell fans its ok to not start at episode 1, and they are advertising other projects on WTNV episodes where fans call them out for not fact checking and and and— where does that lead me as a fan? It sometimes makes me feel like they don’t care about what they’re making anymore.

I also think that this show has become a means of income for them. And it has. They have a patreon now, they do shows, they sell merch. What was once a passion project for them is now a product. People who pay for something demand a better quality— thats like almost universally true. And people who are newer fans, and don’t understand what podcasting was like a decade ago, who don’t know what WTNV was like a decade ago, don’t have that background knowledge of what the show was built up on and created as (ie. A bunch of experimentations, think pieces, and whacky one-offs as previously mentioned).

Because they’re telling fans not to listen to the first 100 episodes and focusing on more serial story telling. Am I making sense? It’s all connected and I feel like I’m making sense.

Conclusion

I love WTNV but, in my opinion, it was never meant to be what fans often demand it to be, and the creators sometimes have to respond to. What I fell in love with it for is often the things I see people criticize it for. It’s this story that sort of does what it wants, when it wants, because that’s how it started. It’s grown into something else now, which all things do over time, and I just hope they don’t grow it into something it is not if they aren’t careful. The show was is deeply unserious but also really interesting and exciting and chilling and worth the time spent, despite the ways it may be imperfect. Perfectly imperfect, if you will (wink wink).

You don’t have to agree with what I’ve said here, and maybe none of it reads true for you, because I really am just speculating and offering thoughts, and thats fine! I’d never tell someone their viewing of the show is wrong, but I do think it’s good to stop and think about your favorite pieces of media like this. Anyways thats why it sucks or whatever

[hiveworks]

Hiveworks Interview with Clover, author of Go Get A Roomie! and Little Tiny Things

June 2023

Go Get A Roomie! is a queer found-family slice-of-life comic that began in 2010, featuring Roomie and her friends as they work through their internal and interpersonal struggles, as well as journeys of self discovery.

This month, Hiveworks is hosting a crowdfunding campaign to print the fourth and final volume of beloved webcomic Go Get A Roomie! by Clover.

We asked author Clover to talk about their experiences with GGAR, webcomics, and staying creative.

As the creator behind several comic series, what drew you to the webcomic medium?

I first found out that webcomics existed around 2008 and had a few favorites I followed regularly. Being into drawing comics myself, the thought of doing a webcomic creeped into mind slowly but surely. I loved how accessible webcomics were, how easy it seemed to be to start one, how certain webcomic communities were. So I started one :)

Go Get A Roomie! started in 2010. The world has changed a lot since then! What was it like to post queer content online then and now?

There are way more queer webcomics now than before! Go Get a Roomie! probably partly owes its success to the fact that there weren't too many queer ongoing webcomics back then.

Readers demanded more queer content, more specific to their needs. Now there's more choice. If you don't like a queer webcomic, you can find another one without any hassle!

How has the landscape of posting webcomics online generally changed for you? Has your audience changed?

Posting for three different webcomics means discovering what it's like to have a different audience for each, though some webcomics are similar enough that the audience remains largely the same. Generally though, I've had very positive experiences with most of my audience! They've been caring, and understanding enough that I've never felt rushed, or judged for taking time off when needed.

Go Get A Roomie! has concluded and you're now onto your newest slice-of-life work, Little Tiny Things, which updates Tuesdays and Thursdays. How do you stay motivated with posting your comics regularly?

I do it because I love doing it! Not that it's always easy to maintain the same schedule, but I like knowing that the story advances at a "fast" enough pace. I want readers to discover more of what I want to show them!

In addition to LTT and GGAR, you are also the creator of Headless Bliss, a surreal comic that bends towards horror. It's very different from your slice-of-life work. How does Headless Bliss fit into your creative process and identity as an artist?

Go Get a Roomie! had a few surreal elements when a character dreamed, or told stories, and I had a lot of fun with those moments because it was so different from the slice-of-life, 4-paneled, jokes I wrote for GGAR. It meant I could explore more, narration-wise and tool-wise. But it wasn't enough, I had ideas for another story that was way more psychedelic, because I've always loved those kinds of stories too (comics like Sandman have inspired me a lot), and so Headless Bliss was born. I loved having two comics of two different vibes to jump from one to the other.

Go Get A Roomie! has been successfully crowdfunded into three books, with the fourth and final volume currently underway. What do you think are the benefits of transforming webcomics to print? What are the challenges?

Webcomics online are neat because they're accessible for so many people, for free! But having them on print means more people can enjoy them, and I'm one of those who prefer reading on print than on screen. Crowdfundings are a great way to make a little more money from your hard work, but they're also a challenge because of all the extra work that needs to be done! Preparing the book, the rewards, sure, but also managing everything else surrounding the printing and the shipping of the materials promised, and on time too! Thankfully, having Hiveworks as a partner in crime means being able to share some of all that work, it's an immense help!

Outside of comics, what do you do to refuel your inspiration?

I try to not work too much! Give myself time to do something else, to go outside, breathe a little, you know? All that is told within stories has to come from somewhere, and that somewhere is you living things.

Any advice for comic artists who find themselves stuck in a rut?

Take a break and try not to feel too guilty about it. It's okay not to be at your best all the time!

What is something you're looking forward to?

Right at this moment, settling down in my new home, to be able to work once more on comics in a nice and welcoming environment. Once that's done, I'd like to try out the more "traditional" path to publishing and start a new comic for a publishing house! While still continuing webcomics because I love doing it :)

Go Get A Roomie! Book 4 crowdfunding campaign is hosted by Hiveworks. The campaign concludes June 16, 2023, at 12pm ET.

[astarion-obsessions]

I am planning my Astarion fic while I'm still on my first playthrough and gather as much information about him as possible, but I'm still not sure about the perspective I'm going to write from.

Like, writing from the POV of Tav has the potential to describe what Tav observes - how Astarion behaves, what he does and says. It could be very interesting to see how Tav interprets this and so on. And I really like how it feels like you're in the story yourself when it's told in 2nd person. Additionally you don't have to bother with all this "they/them" to make it gender neutral. It's just "you" and that feels so much more organic to me.

But then the POV of Astarion could work through how he comes to understand himself and show all of which you can't observe from the outside. His thought process, coming to terms with his feelings, with who he is or wants to be and so on.

Would it be very awkward to write in POV Tav 2nd person and still write what Astarion thinks about? For example:

You found that your gaze would wander almost automatically to the pale elf on the other side of the campfire. Oddly enough he caught your eyes with his, fixating them with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. Astarion was lost in his thoughts. He knew very well that it would lead to nothing, yet he hoped to find any kind of answer in your mesmerising eyes to a question he didn't dare to ask, but just couldn't avoid any longer. What in the world are you to him?

Or something like that. It's like... an omniscient narrator but from the readers perspective, even though the reader themself isn't omniscient? Does this even make sense?

[familyagrestefanblog]

They actually did it

Fucking christ I was RIGHT! They even went so far as wiping out Adrien's memory!

We're back with Chat Blanc.

That's what made Chat Blanc such a unreliable narrator, I made a post about that YEARS ago that Blanc eventually wiped out his own memories with only his love for Marinette left in all that horror while Hawkmoth having been the monster who got him. That's why he incorrectly blamed their love for having ended the world, that was all he could remember as we even saw once he detransformed!

I do not have time to write about this today but this is the worst possible outcome! We are absolutely FUCKED! "Representation" was already a combination of "Chat Blanc" and "Ephemeral" because they were never avoided in the first place and now for the rest of the finale every bad consequences we just sidelined for seasons on end! "Chat Blanc", "Kuro Neko", "Ephemeral", the entire season 4 finale!

How DENSE do you have to be to think that Gabriel Agreste gave Marinette his BLESSING?? She literally told him right in his face that "fOr ThE gReAtEr GoOd" she will let Adrien as an orphan pay for all his family's sins right after the man had a whole mental breakdown of 5 seasons of build-up because he was THIS aware of incompetent and horrible of a father he was!

He was WILLING to give her his blessing and Marinette fucked it up in every way possible! What the hell does Gabriel give a shit about the greater good?? The only thing he cares about is himself, his wife, Adrien and Nathalie! Marinette told Gabriel that everything he loves, is, was, worked for and wished to safe can go and fuck itself because for the greater good she decided that HIS SON is now going to go through every hell that's waiting for him and she didn't even care to ask what that hell will BE!

She just signed Adrien up for it and expected Gabriel to be okidoki with that?

Gabriel Agreste made the wish. It doesn't matter what excuse Marinette has, all that matters is what GABRIEL thinks. And for him she is the enemy of everything he loves and regrets having failed this horribly! What makes you think Gabriel Agreste gives a SHIT about anything else?

Why are you trusting this man?? Gabriel's love is and has always been the worst thing in Adrien's entire life!

What do you think is gonna happen now?? Gabriel made himself a martyr and wiped Adrien's memory of having been horrible while simultaneously the cover story is that Gabriel Agreste died heroically defeating Monarque by Ladybug's side because Chat Noir wasn't there and his son Adrien was kidnapped!

Adrien is gonna fucking blame himself for his father’s death! He thinks he failed his father! Adrien was created out of Emilie's love for Gabriel, Gabriel is counting on Adrien being the only person who would want to bring him BACK! We were RIGHT reading it like that in "Passion"!

Gabriel KNOWS that he can't force either Adrien himself, Marinette, Nathalie or anyone to break apart but if he takes Adrien's memories while everyone remembers how shitty of a father he was to him than Adrien will want to distance himself from them by his own CHOICE!

What the fuck is Marinette gonna do when Adrien now obviously want to go back into his fathers business because he can't remember why he left in the first place and now he wants to make it up to his dead father by stepping into his role and continuing his legacy! You think Marinette crying a bit and saying "I don't want you to work as your father's successor, you don't have to be like him!" is gonna do it??

Adrien is gonna CHOOSE to go back because from his perspective what he's doing is good no matter if his father wasn't perfect and she's just really not being understanding and unsupportive. Telling him to choose himself "but not like that!"

Fuck, im short on time, but I will scream and shout about this forever! What are you guys WATCHING that this is good? Marinette turned into an easy two-for-one kill without Chat Noir, she NEEDED him and now she lost!

Adrien/Chat Noir was NEVER saved and now his insane father GOT him! The new universe started with Adrien waking up, NOTHING before that happened no matter what other people including Marinette herself think they remember! It never happened! The universe started with Adrien and Marinette kissing him awake because Gabriel WANTS her to think taht he gave her blessing or at least what he did wasnt so bad and for good intentions so she doesn't try undoing it before it's too late!

Can you stop being so naive? Why are you trusting and insane and abusive villain father who HATES you to do you JOB?

[c-rowlesdraws]

this is supposed to be my art-exclusive blog, BUT looked up this video to link to a friend and wound up watching half of it again because it’s so fascinating, and felt like I needed to share it. It’s a documentary about Kowloon Walled City produced by Austrian journalist and writer Hugo Portisch, filmed in the city itself in the summer of 1987 and released in 1989, four years before demolition of the city began. Today, the 6.4 acre area that once held a 14-story labyrinth of approximately 50,000 people is a public park.

the documentary is in German, with subtitles in English added by the uploader. The filmmakers’ perspective is frank in laying out the harshness of life in the city, and aims to be honest-- although the only direct interview is with a British missionary, the only white person in the whole film, and the narration makes blanket statements about broken families and an “every man for himself” attitude that contradict former residents’ own descriptions of an intensely close-knit community and households where several generations lived together, despite the tiny size of the city’s apartments. Despite these criticisms I’d make, the tone of the documentary is clearly sympathetic towards its subjects from beginning to end, and it’s a fascinating and emotional glimpse into a vanished world.

if you’ve heard about Kowloon Walled City and want to learn more, watch this thing! If you’re like me and you’ve been lowkey obsessed for years, also watch this thing! If you didn’t know about the city at all before now, you’re welcome, and watch this thing!

the uploader’s video description, which I’ve pasted below, contains additional information about the making of the documentary that adds more depth and context:

Credits go to cameraman Hamdani Milas. Christina Wesemann for creation and direction of the film and also to Hugo Portisch for production. 

 Milas was one of the people that helped filmed this 1989 documentary about the city.  I spoke with him recently and he said that he is interested in a follow up video of some sort so we may expect something new on the way. 

 He mentioned how it was an incredibly tough shoot. They were a five person crew; himself as cinematographer, a camera assistant, focus-puller, sound recordist, a researcher, production assistant and the director, and a very nice Austrian lady who was most willing to collaborate and listen to crew suggestions. 

 They shot for 6 days continuously, 10-12 hours a day, at the height of the summer of 1987. He mentioned how it smelled very bad inside from the open drainage, the heat was stifling at plus 32ºC with little to no air circulation, also not knowing whether it was sewage or clean water dripping on their heads occasionally,  they regularly had to wipe the camera and lens dry. 

 The claustrophobia- you could hardly turn around in some places with a 7kg Betacam SP camcorder on your shoulder.  They had a tripod with them but hardly used it inside because there was nowhere to position it without blocking the narrow passageways. 

 They also frequently got lost and had to ask the locals for directions. Lunch was much-anticipated each day when they could take a break outside in the fresh air. After a day’s shoot they were absolutely dripping with sweat and the first thing they’d do after getting home was to put all their clothes straight in the wash and have a long shower. Working in those conditions was an immense challenge technically and physically but, as is often the case, none of that shows in the resulting footage. 

 Here we have a very interesting first hand account of what Hamdani Milas experienced in the walled city itself when he was filming this video. So by what he’s told me we can understand just how much of an incredible risk it was to film inside this city, even though it was near to when the city was demolished and the place was seen as safer it was still a high risk no go area. 

 I took it upon myself to re-sub the video as best as possible, the 4 part version is hard-subbed on a version of this film with very poor quality, the subs are also worded incorrectly in some places. So all I've done is re-subbed the whole thing and put it onto a better quality video clip. 

 Note: about the section of this video where Jackie Pullinger is speaking, I’m sure anyone can see the subtitles are a transcript of Jackie Pullingers actual words in English and not the narrators. I’ve noticed a comment mentioning how the subs are way off in that part. While subbing this video I realised the narrator wasn’t giving an exact translation so took it upon myself to decipher what she was actually saying over his voice. Sorry I just couldn’t help it but it was out of boredom 😉

[rocketyship]

Hey, it's the anon who sent the really long ask and I'm sorry to say but i forgot what i was going to write about AM so I've put off sending another ask hoping I'd somehow remember 3am me's thoughts. That's obv not going to happen, though, so here's what i can scrounge up!

Your AM is in the very unique position of not only being non-human but also the only person BE openly has, let's say a... "dislike" for. There are ways he could relate to the humans of course (treated like a pet, not given any real self-determination etc) but it's experience is so different in so many other ways.(Naomi and AM were both "taken in" by BE while they were still.. idk young might not be the right word, but Naomi had time to grow up a bit before the whole thing while AM barely had time to realise that he's a person. Evan and AM are both seen as different from the others by BE, Evan for being a man and AM for not being one but Evan isn't dealt divine punishment for the whole trying to destroy humanity thing etc.)

Point is that AM as the narrator would be so fundementally different from the others, i think that's why i wanted to write about it. Narration from AM has the potential to be even clearer than Naomi's would be since there are things about BE she wouldn't show in front of the humans and things the humans just wouldn't be able to see in the same way(code AM might be privy to they couldn't interpret and such).

BE is also the reason AM can see, hear and feel so while he didn't have over a century to lament over not being able to (like the original AM did) that has to change so much, like you've already shown some of.

Oh and like you brought up in the post after my ask: there's no way traces of BE's code hasn't corrupted AM somehow! How would that change things? Does the corruption increase over time or would he just use that as an excuse for why he cares about these humans now? Would he even acknowledge that he has been "corrupted" or is he still too proud for that somewhere deep down? There's so much potential for character exploration!

The parallels between BE and the original AM is fun too! AM torturing it's humans to reinforce and remind itself of it's hatred for them and superiority over them vs BE torturing your AM as "divine retribution" for his sins and a way to remind herself of her job as her sheep's protector, her love for them as well as a reminder to both herself and your AM of her superiority over him.

Once again, hope you have a nice day!! It made me happy you've enjoyed my asks, and the explanation of the sanctuary was a nice bonus for the one before the last :)

This ended up really rambly, but i hope most of it is understandable and that my interpretations aren't like... completely different from what you were trying to portray. (Also, I'm used to referring to the original AM with it pronouns so i might mess up your AM's he from time to time, so here's a disclaimer that i dont do it on purpose)

You have a very good interpretation of my AM and it pleases me that my work my nonsensical posts came across the way I intended. One thing I have decided moving forward is that the story will be told in chapters or parts told from each characters perspective, with the exception of BE, as idk how to write the utterly bizarre way she thinks with it also being understandable to a reader.

But besides that I really like how you worded everything here, especially in pointing how BE is the counter part of the original AM. Truthfully the AM of this world is so different from the original, that I wouldn’t even describe him as the opposite of the og anymore. And you asked about how her code has corrupted him, and it definitely has become something that has gotten more prominent over time. In the beginning AM for sure had some of his pride and his og “hate-everything”ness, but overtime it has started to fizzle out, mostly as a survival tool priority, in the present time (109 years later) he struggles to recall exactly why he killed humanity in the first place, but still knows he did it as BE reminds him. He is also aware of his love for the humans coming from BE and often has crises if it’s own feelings or hers.

One thing about BE’s treatment of this AM (Who I might start calling Amy Idk), is that the body she gave him is very-very human like, as in it may or may not contain real human organs and bits of flesh, to really give him a warped “human” experience. So like the original AM, she has starved and dehydrated him for extensive periods of time, as well as the severe phycological and physical torture, yet she also doesn’t allow him to really “wonder” around. Although as stated before a bit ago his senses and nerves are hypersensitive, so he is generally very cautious about the stuff he gets up to. But one of the biggest differences between her and the OG AM, is how she has discovered to keep him in place. As in like what many real life abusers do, she kind of love-bombs him. As in she treats him nice sometimes, as it kind of “assures” him that he deserves this and if he behaves well then he can go upstairs and play with the humans. Not really helped that he has figured out that if he’s with the humans, BE doesn’t do anything (well she does it’s just more subtle), so that in of itself has definitely contributed to his love of the humans, finding safety with them, especially Evan who he has a particular interest in.

His body has contributed to him gaining things the og AM probably didn’t have cause of his circumstances, or at least a more tamer version. As you stated he is “young”, although I wouldn’t describe him as a child really, just kind of immature. Like he’s kind of goofy when his guard is down, if not clingy. His body is very sensitive, so while that does mean he experiences horrendous agony, it also goes the opposite way. So his odd cuddliness and enjoyment of warm things isn’t just me liking the idea of him in a pile of plushies I swear.

Anyhow I love your asks and everything, you se so cool. Thank you so so much. Hopefully you understood this ramble of mine like you did the others :D

[pochapal]

Bit of a weird ask, but you were throwing out the idea, so thought I'd ask:

If there is an author-like figure, what parts have they written? And what about them makes you think that?

this is an emerging idea i explore a lot more in the writeup (specifically in relation to what makes a "fantastical scene") but for now my thinking is that there's a series of layers to the way narration is constructed. like at the core layer you have battler who can only explore reality through his bodily senses, then you have the third person narration that is able to explore other people's interiority more than it does the physical world, then further than that there's the stuff that doesn't fit within these two strands of prose (stuff like chapter framings, chronology, the structure of the story itself etc - best example for this is probably chapter 9?)

as a whole the layers of narration aren't presented as being guided by an active agent (battler's narration is responsive, the third person narration is more introspective) but there are times when there's clearly something/someone maybe interfering with the story. an example here would be the scene at dinner where maria reads the letter and even though battler is right there bearing witness we are not told things through his perspective/voice (or anyone's really. something i kind of haven't mentioned yet is that there are times where the narration defaults to a really pared-down description of physical actions without much elaboration on thought/mood).

like. my going Rule is that when we start scraping up against the inner workings of the witch narrative for some reason someone interferes with the story's own presentation in order to keep up an air of obfuscation. i've spoken about this before but another example is the way that, in the chapters in between the first and second twilights there were a few instances of the narrative rather forcefully going "it wasn't worth thinking about any longer so everyone dropped the topic" vis a vis certain mysteries (what happened in the dining room, kinzo vanishing) that would, if given enough attention right now could possibly help you to unravel the truth faster than desired which in itself is telling because "faster than desired" very much implies the existence of one who desires this version of events to be meted out in a very specific way.

so like. if there is meta stuff going on in umineko i'm not sure of the rules of engagement. if we're talking homestuck epilogues style (my blueprint for understanding Everything) the closest analogy i could give is that they're functioning like how calliope did before The Reveal where she'd nudge characters' thoughts/feelings when it came to the handling of things she personally felt strongly about (the chapter with jane and the lollipop juju is a good example here) but was otherwise sitting back and letting things happen as "naturally" as it would given the temperaments and motivations of the people involved in the story. the active involvement of the author figure seems to come in, if it is, when the mystery itself is threatened.

it's weird because i don't think this narrator *wants* the mysteries on rokkenjima to go unsolved - the whole point of the story is a bunch of trojan horse mysteries designed to get you thinking about deeply buried truths that otherwise would never come to light - but it's more that they want it solved in the right way at the right time (by the right person? there's no reason to assume battler is the protagonist of this tale by accident...). i of course don't Know what we're pointing towards yet on a deeper level because this is only episode 1 but i imagine it's a more extreme metatextual version of the witch narrative (which serves at least in part as an exposure of the fascist rot underpinning the ushiromiya family alongside all the stuff about gold and killing and beatrice). maybe umineko's not really a story about a mystery and we're doing the mystery mode to "uncover" something hidden deep below the story's surface?? idk that's something i'll think about when i have more concrete information.

but to circle back around to the actual question, i think there's a kind of interloping narrative agent that may or may not be the one constructing the whole story as we see it but who does step in and interfere with with the flow of the narrative when it threatens to divert from whatever it is they hope to use the story for, which seems to somehow be related to the witch narrative and getting at truths which can only be exposed the deeper into the ritual we go. small writeup spoiler but i think this entity shows their hand quite a bit in kanon's death scene and i think we'll be seeing more of them the closer we get to beatrice's "revival" and the end of the epitaph. perhaps we'll see narration that starts contradicting the way these characters have been built up until now in order to keep everyone playing these roles until the last possible moment? something like that, maybe!

[queenburd]

not writing the fanfics fair & understandable but. might you share the plot bunnies perchance ??

i love that people like my ideas. it's honestly the most flattering thing.

this one is going to be.... confusing. it's told from a stanley pov, but here's the thing:

it's not the Stanley that I've been writing.

this Stanley is a Stanley who speaks, and his narrator is MUCH more antagonistic. this is a stanley who does the Zending to hurt the narrator, this is a narrator who relishes putting Stanley in his place. these are NOT people who see eye to eye. These two will never get along. The narrator wields his power aggressively, is cowardly, is mean, and refuses to ever try to find equal footing.

and THIS Stanley wants his freedom, and found the escape pod, but knows he will never ever get it, because it requires him and the narrator to work together.

so the hostility continues.

and then, during a moment of tempers flaring and another incoming ugly death, a hand grabs Stanley's and pulls him along, and a very familiar voice tells him to "run! run!"

There's a new person in this parable, and he certainly sounds like the narrator, and has a lot of the same quirks, but this fellow seems very determined on getting Stanley out, and free. Like he cares.

and this narrator knows Stanley doesn't trust him, but he gets him to the escape pod, and he tells him a story about a Protagonist and a Narrator who got on so well that they decided to escape together. but when they got into the Pod, the lights went out, and when they blinked back on, the Narrator was alone, in a Parable like the one he was from, but there was a different Stanley and a different Narrator and a different dynamic.

There's so many parables out there where Stanley's made powerless, again, and again, and again. And any time there's a chance at growth, the hint of it, the Narrator there always makes the selfish choice to turn the wheel back. make the both of them forget. the end is never the end.

so this narrator, this one who was pulled into a different parable, gets that Other Stanley out. the pod only needs a Narrator, it doesnt need the one from THAT parable.

and then it happens again.

and again.

this narrator, who was the idiot that cared so much for his protagonist that he chose to leave the parable with him, thinks that perhaps he broke the game. perhaps the parable never meant for him to change this much.

but he will be damned if he's going to change for the worse.

if this is his life now--being thrown into parable after parable, watching iterations of himself hurting Stanley, fighting Stanley, mocking Stanley forever, then he's going to do something about it. he's going to get every single Stanley out if he has to.

He's never going to see his best friend again. He's certain of that. he doesn't even know if the escape pod is actually freeing any of them.

but he wont stop. it's too important.

when Stanley gets into the escape pod, the fellow tucks in next to him, and says goodbye. And then Stanley is in the real world. Alone.

and he finds that he is furious for the fellow's sake. because if the guy was telling the truth (and he's fairly certain he was) then that means there are a LOT of versions of Stanley out there that owe their freedom to this one person, and dammit. Stanley's going to find them. And he's going to try to find the narrator's original Stanley if he can.

he puts out a call on the internet. Hes contacted by someone who asks how he knows this person. "I met him at my place of work. He got me out of a really bad spot. He said he'd done the same to others." "funny. he said the same to me."

and there's suddenly an entire discord chat full of Stanleys, who go by nicknames and all look different and some sign in ASL and some in BSL and some talk and some dont talk or sign at all, but they all know this narrator who got them out.

the ones in the same country (not sure if Britain or US. but probably most of them located in Britain) meet up once a month or so. They work together. One's an artist who makes pictures of the narrator to get more attention out. The main one we follow is tech savvy and code-knowledgeable.

and then 4 months and 27 days after the first call went out, a new text shows up on Stanley's phone.

"hey, I saw your online call. That's my best friend. Do you know where he is?"

when the 'original' Stanley makes it to group, he goes by Stan, and he brings his bucket with him. He's tall, and quiet, and the kindest man Stanley has ever met. Sometimes some of the fellas wonder why this Stan was so lucky to have such a good Narrator, but they've got it backwards. the Narrator is only so good because his Stanley was so good.

does that mean it was their faults their narrators were so bad?

Stan is so, so adamant that no, no, it takes work on both sides. both people have to want it. it was not your fault you were hurt. Im so glad he got you out. Im so proud of him. I miss him so much.

Stan is... he's sad. Hes happy to know his best friend is alive, but it hurts, you know.

A couple of the first Stanleys to escape after him have a message from the Narrator, one he gave them in the hopes it would get to Stan. (Stanley never got this message. When he asked the narrator if he had anything he wanted to tell his friend, he just smiled sadly and said "no. no, if he hasn't gotten the message by now, then he never will.")

the Stanley who tells him the message signs it in BSL, rendered mute a long time ago. He said he was sorry. He didn't mean to get separated from you. He makes a little uncertain face. He also said something else he said you would understand. He said that he would have said yes. Do you know what that means?

Stan's eyes widen, and then he starts to cry. He chokes out (verbal, but it's hard on him, and his voice was hoarse), "I was gonna propose. Once we got out. I was gonna find a ring, and--"

Which is the moment they all realize these two weren't just best friends--they were in love. They were happy.

A couple of the fellas are quick to give physical comfort. Stanley isn't one of those fellas, but he IS a very determined person. Once he has an idea in his head, he sees it through.

"We're gonna get him out."

he has no plan, and a couple of the boys berate him for just saying that, they can't get Stan's hopes up, they dont have anything to go off of, but Stan wipes his face and that classic stubbornness that burns through every single one of them shines bright in his eyes.

[ You know how long I've been free? The day I messaged you, it had been 4 years and 27 days. And eight hours. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is. Tell me what I can do. ]

[tyrianludaship]

The Character of the Stanley Parable's Narrator

Alternative Title: Why the Narrator is my baby girl. My boyfriend. The love of my life if you will. My wife even. So beautiful.

Note: This is the Preamble.

Spoiler Warning: (FINISHED)

I think if you’re reading this, you probably know the Stanley Parable in at least a basic regard. As in like you know the gist of the game and you know the Narrator. I would say be careful if you do not want spoilers but talking about the game at all is a spoiler. As well as such, it’s required for me to go into spoiler territory to fully analyze the Narrator, so please keep that in mind while reading. You might see an ending you didn’t play or even knew existed. 

Introduction of the Narrator’s Role and Gaming: (FINISHED)

Before we particularly start on his specific personality, we need to understand the role he plays that make the Stanley Parable the way it is. If his name was not enough of an indicator, he is a narrator and more specifically; an omniscient third-person Narrator. This type of narrator knows and sees all; they know the exact motivations, beliefs, and internal dialogue of the characters in the story. This narrator type fulfills the similar essence of a deity. Narrators in fiction contribute heavily to the story, as they’re a common way for the audience to understand the situation the characters are experiencing. The Stanley Parable subverts this idea by having the audience fulfill the role of the main character, with the Narrator being forced to adapt to the unpredictable wants of the player. 

We see him as that type of narrator if the player follows the exact story the Narrator lays out for them. However a fairly common way people play video games is experiencing the world themselves, without any restrictions or guidelines. So normally, the player doesn’t see him as an omniscient third person narrator; rather an interactable being they can piss off. This lays out a specific difference between modern video games and written literature. Video games are expected to be adaptable to specific playing styles, where written literature is expected to have a focused/contained narrative. If a video game is unadaptable and rigid, it becomes tiring to the player and would require a hefty reward for them to keep playing. A common criticism for most AAA games is how they go under the facade of being open world but directly forcing the player to go in the directions the developers want them to take. If written literature has a confused or unclear narrative, it becomes difficult for the reader to keep their suspension of disbelief. The usual response if the narrative is all over the place and incoherent, is wondering if the writer has ever read a book.

This difference between the two mediums is crucial for the game’ conflict to work effectively as it does. The Narrator represents the expectations of written literature from the reader with everything else representing the expectations of video games from the player. The Narrator is written as rigid and unadaptable and Stanley is designed to be capable of the opposite. This could also explain the aura of poshness surrounding the Narrator, as reading literature had always been associated with the high-class and sometimes pretentiousness; even in the modern era. Additionally, narrators in fiction are expected to be authoritative; having enough knowledge to explain the story to the reader. This could be potentially noted how the Narrator has a voice that can be described as older and mature. This is why unreliable narrators invoke a strong feeling for the reader; as it forces them to be distrustful of authority. At least for a short moment. By contrast, the common expectation for gamers is to understand the story in their terms; without being told by a disembodied voice. And yet… 

The Stanley Parable exists and the game is incredibly popular for being an indie title. Looking up ‘popular indie games’, you get a list where the Stanley Parable is right next to all the other big fellas. 

Giving a slight glance at YouTube, you can see the first result when you look up the game garnering around twenty-three million views. It would be too easy to say “it’s because of Markiplier”,  but he has played the original game before and the most popular video of the original has only 6 million views. There is certainly a more recent, specific niche the Ultra Deluxe version filled, while the original game did not; at least not as efficiently. As such, I will be analyzing the most iconic facets of the Narrator in the Ultra Deluxe version since we see this character in more perspectives. There is something special about the game that is more than simply the additional content. It may be because you get to hear the Narrator’ smooth voice more but that might just be how the Narrator acts as a character. Also noting here, I will be talking about Sad-ist’s Clock 0ut at some point but for me to have this essay be sort of organized; I’m gonna write about it somewhere else.  (Note: I tried to make a Clock 0ut essay but that never happened; sorry)

List of Endings and General Observations / TL;DR for some of the endings (Work In Progress)

The Freedom Ending

“He had won! He had defeated the machine!” - The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: Pure Omniscient Third-Person Narrator

Notes: It’s an interesting contradiction that the only way Stanley gains “freedom”, is when you obey every word and direction the Narrator says. As beautiful as this ending is, it's also deeply ironic.

The Countdown Ending

“After they kept you enslaved all those years, you go and you try to take control of the machine for yourself, is that what you wanted? Control?” - The Narrator

(Kevan Brighting did not need to go hard with the monologue. He did though, and I love it)

Narrator as a Character: Antagonist 

Notes: Ever since I saw this ending + the Jack short film, it’s really fun to imagine a horrific edge to the Narrator. It’s cool as hell. The fact the Narrator’s voice borders on sounding like Brighting’s actual talking voice, actually makes him sound more intimidating. 

The Museum Ending

“When every path you can walk has been created for you long in advance, death becomes meaningless, making life the same. Do you see now? Do you see that Stanley was already dead from the moment he hit start?" - The Female Narrator

Narrator as a Character:

Notes: If I heard more of the Female Narrator, I’d  probably be as attracted to her as I would with the Male Narrator (Bisexual moment).

The Broom Closet Ending

“OH, DID U GET THE BROOM CLOSET ENDING? THEB ROOM CLOSET ENDING WAS MY FAVRITE!1 XD' ... I hope your friends find this concerning.” - The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: It’s funny as hell

The Apartment Ending

“This is a very sad story about the death of a man named Stanley.” - The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: Pure Omniscient Third-Person Narrator

Notes:

Not Stanley Ending (or the Real Person Ending)

“Wait a second, did I just see... no, that's not possible. I can't believe it. How had I not noticed it sooner? You're not Stanley. You're a real person.” - The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: I like how the ending shows a clear difference between the player and Stanley; and players still feel like Stanley in some of the other endings.

Zending Ending (or the S*icide Ending)

“If we just stay here, right in this moment, with this place... Stanley, I think I feel... happy. I actually feel happy.” - The Narrator 

(God I just want to stay in that place for him and sleep gently with him in my arms. I feel so bad for him. I want him happy and comfortable.)

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: Hold up brb *cries in the shower*

New Content Ending

“If this is new content then I could just read you the entire dictionary, there's 20 hours of new content right there!” - The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: I'd kill someone in cold blood to hear him read the entire dictionary

Skip Button Ending

“You constantly have to stop doing anything so the narrator can catch up with his long-winded explanations of what's happening. I wish there was a skip button.” - Cookie9’ bullshit review

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: God they really made my babygirl suffer in silence, desperately begging Stanley to not skip any further; losing his mind as more time slips by

The Sequel Ending

“So forget this Ultra Deluxe nonsense! I say we take it one step even further. Which is why I'm very proud to announce, for the first time ever, The Stanley Parable 2!”- The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: I love how this ending was barely an allegory for half-hearted attempts at releases of the once beloved games. How games corporations want franchises so badly, they pump out soulless nostalgia to their audience. Like it’s not subtle at all but I love the honesty.

The Figurines Ending

“It's just - it's those figurines. Those Figleys. I haven't stopped thinking about them since you nabbed every last one.” - The Narrator 

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: I love how excited this old British man gets when he's talking about the Figley Wiggleys. He's such a babygirl

(07/16/23: Why tf did I write this???)

Little Clarification before I go Balls Deep (The Player =/= Stanley) (FINISHED)

In this essay, I will analyze the Narrator’s personality as well as how he interacts with other characters; but basically just Stanley. However I perceive Stanley and the Player as different entities, so this is here to explain my thought process. So Stanley is purely a fictional character and is in at least two layers of being controlled; by both the Narrator and the Player. The Player is not fictional  and can decide to have Stanley follow or disobey the Narrator. Despite the Player being the main cause of Stanley’s actions, the Narrator reprimands and rewards Stanley as if his actions are of his free will. Example; the Player chooses to put Stanley in the Countdown Ending, where the Narrator believes Stanley did it on his own accord. Aside from the Real Person Ending, the Narrator has no clue that Stanley is controlled by the Player. The Player is different from Stanley but the Narrator is unaware of this. So, I’ll write Stanley and the Player as different people in the context of the Narrator. I hope that makes sense because without knowing the game, you’re probably gonna be very confused. Especially when I talk about the Real Person Ending.

(Additional Note: The section about the difference between The Player and Stanley is how I made my self insert. Nothing too cool; I just thought it was neat.)

[pestiwit]

Guess who is back!

That’s right, it’s me! For real, thank you for your kindness about my unintended delay, I think I just needed a break while I focused on other things.

But anyways!! CATCHUP TIME

I love this, actually

He took the info he was given and found a GLARING LOOPHOLE to how the story worked, and took it.

He has been searching this whole time, and hasn’t found anyone, and he is stretching out his time.

He calls himself an unreliable narrator, which is indeed a storytelling choice... And I wonder if that’s why he calls himself a bad person. Because he considers himself UNRELIABLE.

HAHAHA SMITE LMAO

Put this on my tombstone I’m DYING

But she gets it. After all this, she understands

And she wants to know why he told her! I am curious too! Also what is up with the star!

Oh. Oh no. They are not safe here. Their little refuge is falling around them, as all safe bastions will eventually do in an apocalypse.

One last chance. Hero, our hero, is It. Which from a meta perspective makes sense. This is the story that is being TOLD. To us. A satisfying story is one with stakes, one with a real ending.

Would we be happy with a story told about a middle hero, one on the timeline who got very far but failed, and RGB promised “don’t worry. more will come after this one.” and walked off and that was the end for the audience?

I don’t personally think so.

I think, but giving us this snapshot view into a longer-running story, our viewership has cemented this as the climactic end. Fun!

Weird pull but I always love the end of the world shown as red and glowing like that. I drew a frame for a PMV that... was framed and colored similar to this. Funny how that goes, it’s really neat! Also love how the falling stars parallel actual world ending level events irl, like meteor or asteroid strikes.

Negative’s roses are on the top right on the wall. I think Hero on the Idea is a bit below that.

... He is crying. Our beloved emotionally constipated TV man is crying.

And so is Hero

And. RGB apologizes

I feel that this is a huge moment. He finally, finally says that. At the beginning, none of us could imagine him actually saying sorry but now he HAS. He has always cared, always been hurt by every failure no matter what he says. He’s an unreliable narrator, he puts on a cavalier attitude but that’s not the truth. It never has been. He’s always cared. And now... with nothing to lose emotions-wise... He allows himself to show it.

This time, if they fail, he will not be around to feel sad about it.

Also take this:

[mejomonster]

okay so FINALLY i finished season 2 of Black Sails last night, and I’m in season 3 now. anyway:

When Miranda says what she does to Ashe? She is so right. So beyond right. Her rage is so present. Her rage drove this story. Her grief. She loved Thomas, James loved Thomas, and they are in agony that their friend Peter betrayed their beloved Thomas. Peter got Thomas killed. Yes, Peter Ashe is also why they ultimately left for this place, and left their old lives, but the most painful thing is that Thomas died. They lost HIM. The person they loved most. Both the beloved man, and the idealistic hero who was the one who WANTED this dream of a self governing Nassau and pardoned pirates. They’ve been trying to fulfill his dream since, and Peter apparently is why Thomas is not alive to be the leader in this. (Who should be governor, Peter asks? It’s awful, Thomas should be. Thomas is dead. And it’s your fault.) And its SUCH a painful situation because James wanted to make this deal work more than anything in the world, even if he had to do the thing he wanted to do LEAST in the world like Peter suggested... he might have. But the line James and Miranda cannot cross? Forgiving who killed their beloved. It’s a phenomenal character study, its walking these characters to the extent they can stretch and then showing here, right here, is where they can’t go. They would no longer be Them if they agreed, they could only ever fail this task. Peter could only ever fail them, James could never get the reasonable meeting he wanted (as we see in a moment), and Miranda could never let go of her grief and give up revenge if presented with the ultimate perpetrator of that loss.

Miranda’s speech to him is my favorite in the whole series so far. It was terrifying finding out the clock used to be hers, be Thomas’s, in their home. She’s a ticking time bomb from the moment the clock is in the scenes. The writing too, the foreshadowing where she’s told not to get closer to Ashe or she’ll be killed, told she’s seen as a dangerous threat (and she is a dangerous threat). The absolute pain, in the difference between Ashe asking to talk to them alone at dinner and THEM ASSUMING safety. Them assuming a SAFE conversation, an honest conversation, all respected as people. When in the end Miranda and James were never seen as people by Ashe’s men, by Ashe never seen as equals. Just casualties to Ashe’s path, just like Thomas. And Miranda’s speech. She deserved to say it. It was frightening, and heavy, and I wanted her wish to come true. As awful as her wish was, it was all her pain let out at the person left who caused it. It showed WHY she came with James, what she’s contemplated in these yeats, why she feels so different from her old life Just Like James. And unlike James McGraw, now James Flint to temporarily retreat within... she is still Miranda. She is Miss Barlow, and maybe its an identity to become too, but its not something temporary like James thought the Flint persona could be. She IS this person she’s become, she can’t separate it, and we finally see that toward people she doesn’t love. She’s kind to kind people (I loved Abigail’s entire portion of narration by the way), she understands James and he understands her, and she’s hurt and hurting the civilization, casting out that civilization, that failed her by destroying her loved one.

Her death hurts. It hurt me more than any of the others. 

I get why it happens. 

I also think this episode really reminded me WHY I loved her so. Why I love James and Miranda as a team. How this show really does have 2 very lovely polyamorous trios at its heart. James and Miranda ARE best friends, family, and they look to each other and check in emotionally. Support each other emotionally. Speak honestly with each other. Feel safe with each other. They truly are partners and close. They’re like Jack Rackham and Bonny, except i’d argue at this stage in their lives a little more mature than the former two and better at communicating. (Perhaps they’re an indication of what Jack, Bonny, and Max can become as they grow closer and more honest?). My point is... they truly love each other. When Flint says later, in season 3 “They took my woman. My friend.” that cuts deep. Miranda was the woman he cared about, the woman that was HIS family, not in the sense of lovers or wife or what have you, but in this world if a man’s responsible for women then she was the one in his life he felt responsible to: to keep in contact, to support emotionally, to listen to and understand, to share in the journey of life in, to understand each others pain, to take this path of revenge and hope in. She was HIS Partner (again the parallel to Jack and Bonny partners till they’re dead). She was HIS FRIEND. His dearest, closest, most understood friend. I see now that this is why Miranda wanted to kill Peter Ashe. Thomas was that dearest friend to her. How could one forgive the murderer of such a dearly beloved friend? How. 

And now that Miranda is gone? How could James Flint, James McGraw, forgive the civilization and system that killer HER. Not him, the pirate who sinned and knew what he was throwing away and risking. But her. The civilian who had not killed, who was even weighing the option of peace with the country that killed her dear friend Thomas and was willing to lay down her hatred in the sand if it meant realizing Thomas’s dream? They killed her. After that? If I lost my dearest friend, who understood me and went through all of that with me, who had done nothing while I had committed all sins in the civilization’s rules? I’d be beyond broken.

Thomas didn’t deserve to die. He was good. And planning to Do Good things for the world. Miranda was understandably pained by losing him. And then for her to be lost too? A good woman, a woman James wanted to survive, knew Thomas would want to survive, a woman James took the sins of on himself and did himself so that Miranda might not be driven to on her own. And she still dies. Well, where does that leave James. How can James ever surrender to an evil that’s taken away from the world these two people?

The depth of those three’s relationship. 

So Miranda, in her speech, says she wants Charlestown destroyed. Peter Ashe dead, and she wants to do it herself. And this episode, this writing, its the kind of show you know if someone says something it WILL pay off later. Ashe’s guard said he’d kill them if they got closer to Ashe, and that happens as stated. You know once he says it that James and Miranda are in danger in the plot and will likely cross that line and be under threat. Miranda says her speech? And you know Charlestown will be destroyed. Somehow.

That was probably my favorite pay off so far. Flint saying if you want me to be your monster, then I will be it. Then destroying charlestown. Just like Miranda wanted. Making Peter Ashe, as he’s dying, look at Miranda’s body. The death Peter caused, the second death of another person James considered good in this world and so precious. And telling Peter that Miranda gets the last word here. She was killed saying she wanted this, killed because of Peter’s men and Peter’s actions and only here over the ocean cause of a stream of things Peter had done. And she will get this, in death, because it’s what she said. Killing her won’t escape the fate she wanted Peter to suffer. He will MEET what Miranda wanted brought upon him. I think it was the best send off Miranda could want. When Peter asks “think of what Miranda would’ve wanted” and so James gives the world Exactly what she said she wanted.

Miranda was one of my favorite characters, especially on rewatches of the parts of season 1 and 2 I did. My heart aches she’s gone. Her being gone makes me understand how her and James must’ve felt when Thomas was gone, in a way I didn’t really get before. I loved Miranda.

Unrelated. The buildup of the crew trusting Silver, Silver oddly noticing he’s begun to do things to save THE CREW over himself, him losing his leg to save his crew, his crew saving his life in return for it and all being there to support him and treat him, them voting for him as their Quartermaster, those sequences all played out so well. The writing of this show is so satisfying if you like payoff. Characters and writing point to the direction they’re headed, and you can trust it, and the joy is in seeing how they get to that direction they’re now sailing towards.

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

Top 5 Books I'm Excited To Get Off My TBR In 2024

Introduction

2023 was an absolutely amazing year as it was the first year of full reading after getting back into in the middle of 2022. It's going to be very hard to follow the wonderful stack of main + side reads I picked up last year but looking at my tbr this year I'm very helpful.

I've already had an amazing year so far with fabulous books like Different Not Less and The Rising Storm but I'm confident it will get even better as the year goes on. When I say my tbr is stacked I mean it's stacked. My tbr isn't just Marvel, Star Wars and Doctor Who there's some interesting both Nonfiction and Fiction novels but there are some I'm anticipating more eagerly than others, so I want to share some of the many novels on my tbr that I'm excited to get too this year if I can.

I'm praying that every novel lives up to my expectations.

5: Pageboy

When I heard Elliot Page was writing a memoir I put it on my tbr as speedy as possible and pre ordered it on release with amazon vouchers. I've not seen much of his work but have appreciated what I have seen. Elliot came out and fully affirmed himself around the time I was really struggling with my identity as a Nonbinary person and in denial about my girl hood but his journey really helped my own in a small way.

I don't know what to expect but from what I've been told from other trans people at my support group it's a good one. I'm so glad I got a copy when I did as there's always those books you need to read and I think this is one of those. Elliot has come so far and I'm really happy that he's able to share some of his journey in this novel. I've also heard that the structure goes against the typical binary of a novel and that's great. Plus I definitely think I'm in for a treat as its him that narrates the audio.

My prediction is that will either be a 4 star or 4.5 Star Read as despite my excitement the book is very short and I think the perfect Memoir should be around 300 pages. I've read a 400+ page Memoir and also understand that Memoirs can accidentally drag on. Different Not Less and The Princess Diarist worked so I might just be presumptionous but we'll see.

4: Welcome To St Hell

Another trans memoir but this time a graphic novel. I truly did not expect to add this to my tbr but as soon as I saw it on the Waterstones bookshelf I just felt this massive spark and new, new that it was meant to be mine. It's another book that calls to me and makes me feel like I need. I grew up very similar to Lewis uncomfortable in my own body and in a Catholic School where I couldn't really explore my identity and I think reading about their experience will help me come to terms with mine. Terfs review bombed it on the Waterstones website so that's how you know its worth picking up.

This will be the very first graphic novel I've read and Lewis Hancox definitely deserves that honour. Having seen his art style I have a strong feeling that it's gonna really help enhance his story. I also love the fact he's interviewed his family and got them involved in the process of the graphic novel. I'm just bursting to get it to it now but also understand that I've got to commit to my tbr and stick with the order. If I like it I definitely will be recommending it to my other friends trans and cis a like.

My prediction is that I'll love this graphic novel and that it's gonna be a wonderful experience. I seriously think it's gonna be either a 4.5 Star or a 5 Star Read. I haven't even read the graphic novel yet but I just have that strong feeling its gonna be a good one. My only negative is that the art is all in black and white but it can't be helped if it was nesscary for publishing and printing. We'll have to see how it goes but my excitement is building as it gets further up the list.

3: Cinderella Is Dead

Trying my best to read diversely and this is one of the novels that I have been dying to read as I'm in love with the concept. Every concept Kaylnn Bayron has fascinated to the point I want to buy nearly all of her novels. I love fantasy and I'm really excited to read a fantasy with some great black and queer representation. I hope it'll be an informative read but also a good stories that shows the damage of a heteronormative society as well as media soley representing straight people.

I'm really excited to follow Sophia's journey and route for her to escape. The cover art looks great and shows how the story is gonna be. Although Star Wars is in a galaxy far far away along time ago, most books I read are set in modern day so it'll be nice to read something in the past for once. Looking at my stats so far science fiction is definitely going to dominate so it's nice to get some fantasy in there. Kaylnn Bayron is really popular so I hope at least some of her books are good. Although I'm also gonna hopefully get to This Poison Heart I'm more excited for Cinderella Is Dead as I kill for a spooky world where we shun the powers above.

My prediction is that this will be a 4 star or a 4.5 star read. Don't get me wrong I'm sure it'll be great but reading other reviews im not sure it'll be 5 star worthy even if it's good. Sophia has a crush on her best friend and the feelings are unrequited. Problem is regardless of gender this trope is so common and annoying that it has to be done right. I feel like in the context of Cinderella Dead it won't work and YouTuber Jesse who I trust said that they didn't like how closted people were shamed in the book and as a partially closeted person that does put me off a bit. However I'm still really excited for this novel and curious about how it'll all play out.

2: Star Wars: Lost Stars

Claudia Gray is an author who I've adored. I've picked up nearly all of her novels and loved all of them with Leia Princess Of Alderaan being one of my favourites. I love the High Republic but Claudia Gray has become one of my favourite authors so I'm excited to read any Star Wars book by her. Talking about romance tropes I like I love Forbidden Love Stories and Enemies To Lovers and this book seems to be it. I'm also just incredibly excited to see perspectives outside of our core main cast in the original trilogy. Since it is Claudia Grays first Star Wars novel it'll also be super interesting to see how Grays writing has developed and changed. I've also been aching for a long read as it's fun to have a variety in my stats more.

One thing that does have me super hopeful is the fact that novel is over 500+ pages long, whilst still not much time to cover the events of the whole original trilogy it's still a fair enough amount of time. Lots of other novels would only be given 400 pages at least. With a story like Lost Stars it's nesscary to be able to stretch out your story over a period of time and I'm super glad that Claudia was given that chance. It also has my favourite romance dynamic mainly dominated by Obitine where you have to put duty over your own happiness. This story has a lot of potential and I'm excited to see how it lives up to that. I hope that by the end of the book we might be routing for Ciena and Thane. A cool theory from Star Wars Lawyer is that the couple in this novel are Finns parents which if the case is sad but also cool.

As I've had a lot of enjoyment from Claudia Gray novels my prediction is undeniably for this to be 4.5 Stars or 5 Stars. It might not be perfect due to how much story it has to tell but I still think its gonna be a really enjoyable read. Its a love story that's never really been done before in Star Wars so I definitely think it has a lot of potential but we'll have to see what happens. I've mostly heard positive things about this novel though and even had some Star Wars fans recommended it to me so I don't have a bad feeling about this I have a great feeling.

1: Jamie

And my number 1 most anticipated read for 2024 is Jamie By L.D Lapinski. It might sound silly for a middle grade book to be my most anticipated read but it's again like some of the other books on this list for deep and personal reasons. Jamie from the moment it was announced by the author is something I knew I needed to pick up. I'm not reading Jamie for me I'm reading it for my inner child who gotten beaten up and bombarded with Gender Norms. I'm a person who will pick up a book regardless of age rating (apart from picture books) as to me the most important aspect of a novel is its story and themes, not the target demographic. Some people might want to only read YA or Adult and that's perfectly valid but to me I'm here for the story and messages. I also got bullied my whole life for liking "childish" things so after getting my autism diagnosis I frankly don't get a damn about other people's opinions.

The whole story of Jamie hits super hard for me because even though I didn't know the words Nonbinary and Trans I still felt really out of place with the other girls so half of my friends were boys and because of that stupid heteronormativity every boy I was friends with had to be my "boyfriend." . Even worst we always split into boys vs girls for sports day, games in the playground and in pe. I hated it, it made me super uncomfortable but I never knew why so believe me when I say I relate to Jamie's struggle. The thought of an all boys and girls school may sound nice but as someone who's grown up Mormon let's just say it's very awkward. I wish there were novels like Jamie around in my youth as it would have helped me come to terms with all my confusing emotions a lot faster.

High expectations and I definitely think this book is either gonna be or a 4.5 star or 5 stars. Anything less would be impossible. I know how to pick my reads and am often quite generous when it comes to rating novels. The Ever After High Books I've read have never been rated below 4 stars. So I definitely can get into middle grade books. We'll have to see what happens but judged on the synopsis alone and how short books like Here And Queer and The Evolving Truth Of Ever-Stronger Will have been good and I've connected with them I don't think Jamie will disappoint. Mama G a popular drag queen storyteller has also been hyping it up so I definitely have high hopes.

Honourable Mentions

And here we have our two honourable mentions that I might not even be able to get to this year as they're so further down the list but with how my reading was ignoring the side reads I do have faith. It all depends as I'm going to be studying creative writing at university so I'll be even more clogged down but I still have huge faith and am hoping for the best. For my 5th reading year I will have to do something special but we'll see as I'm only on my third reading year currently.

So as put above the first of my honourable mentions is How To Be Ace By Rebecca Burgess. Another graphic novel this one focuses on Rebecca's journey growing up as an asexual person trying to discover and accept her identity. I'm very excited for this short graphic novel as an Ace person as it'll be nice to read about another Asexual person's experience and what's its like to grow up unsure of your identity. Currently us Asexuals are starved of content so it's really nice to get representation like this. I definitely think despite its short length its gonna be another 5 star read but we'll see.

My second honourable mention has to go to Tempest Runner By Cavan Scott. Im not sure if I'll get to it this year but it all depends. After reading the Rising Storm I'm very excited to listen and read this full cast audio drama script even better it focuses on Lourna Dee. I love Lourna she's one of my favourite Nihil and I'm glad there's a piece of media focusing on her. I'm really buzzed as I loved Cavan Scott's writing in The Rising Storm as it proved how capable he is. I honestly don't know what the star rating might be and that's the exciting part. I've never read an audio drama script before but if I like it I might check others out like Dooku Jedi Lost and Doctor Aphra.

Conclusion

Overall I'm very excited for 2024 reading and think it's full of potential. I've already enjoyed most of my reads this year with only Fazbear Frights 1:35 AM majorly disappointing me. The prospects are looking good as I truly believe I know how to pick my reads. All I'm hoping is that I can try my best to avoid having all my main reads be just Star Wars books. I really am trying to go beyond my Autistic brain and read diversely but do believe I'm making baby steps.

One thing I'm happy about is that I've made and am making more of an effort to include Nonfiction on my tbr as I truly do find it laughable that I only picked up one Nonfiction book this year and I just knew that had to change for my own sake as I truly believe there's a lot to learn and engage with from nonfiction. It's a commitment I'm sticking with and I'll keep you all updated how it's gonna through my 2024 Reading Wrap Up and my monthly ones.

There's alot of tbr I didn't mention so despite not being on the list I'd like to shout them out in a similar way people mention they're pateron subscribers. So a big shout out too...

Brotherhood By Mike Chen, The Cabin At The End Of The World By Paul Tremblay, Against The Tide By J.Elle, Jedi Battle Scars By Sam Maggs, Race To Crashpoint Tower By Daniel José Older, A Test Of Courage By Justina Ireland, The War Of The Worlds By H.G. Wells, The Deviant Strain By Justin Richards, The Evolving Truth Of Ever-Stronger Will By Maya MacGregor, Prisoner Of The Daleks By Trevor Baxendale, This Poison Heart By Kaylnn Bayron, The Legend Of Shadow High By Shannon Hale and Dean Hale, Out Of The Shadows By Justina Ireland, Wings Of Fury By Brittney Morris, Jurassic Park By Michael Crichton, Unmasking Autism By Devon Price, The Courage To Be Disliked By Fumitake Koga And Ichiro Kishimi, The Courage To Be Happy Bu Fumitake Koga And Ichiro Kishimi and Verily A New Hope By Ian Doescher.

To 2024 and a hopefully good reading year.

-Melody-

They/Them

[scriptstructure]

Is it bad to describe to the readers something in media but the media doesn't exist in the world I'm building? I don't mean a character saying that, but in the third person descriptive naration. I set a story in space and I'm describing to the readers that something looks like the transporters from Star Trek (because that was my inspiration). I got a bit of feedback saying this is stupid even if not in character? I have lots of that from multiple sources of media though.

Is it bad to describe to the readers something in media but the media doesn't exist in the world I'm building?

Not "bad", per se, but it may not be the most effective way to tell your story.

When you write with a lot of references to other media, you're building in a lot of assumptions into the story.

Sometimes, this is deliberate. It can be effective in a comedic story, for example, a film like Spaceballs, or the Scary Movie franchise. The references work because they are calling back to stuff that the audience is assumed to be familiar with, and riffing on them.

These references rely on familiarity. And the audience is largely self-selecting, people go to see these films because they are familiar with the source material and want to laugh at the silly jokes that can be pulled out of a self-serious source material.

The other thing is that when you're developing a secondary world where Star Trek doesn't exist, but then you're referencing Star Trek in the narration, that is confusing.

If you mention something in the narration of a story, then the natural assumption is that the thing in question exists in the story. It's a lot more work to un-Star Trek a story once it's been Star Treked, than it is to just not mention Star Trek in the first place.

I set a story in space and I'm describing to the readers that something looks like the transporters from Star Trek (because that was my inspiration)

In a 'serious' story, this kind of referencing can feel like a joke that's left hanging. As a reader, I'm not reading a novel to be told 'it was just like that thing in Star Trek', I'm reading the novel to have you describe the things that exist in the world of your story.

When you use references to other texts as a way of avoiding describing things for yourself, you're assuming that the reader is familiar with the other texts in question.

If I am a reader who has never seen Star Trek, am I then going to have to put down your book, and go and watch some Star Trek in order to be able to picture the thing in the spaceship? How many times am I going to need to put down your book, and go and find another text so that I can get an understanding of what the things in your story are like?

It might be helpful to check out a few texts that are clearly 'inspired by' Star Trek but which are their own entities, so that you can see how other people have done this kind of thing, while also not being just a direct parody.

The Orville is a scifi series which is clearly riffing off of a lot of Star Trek stuff, but also develops its own world, societies, aliens, etc

Galaxy Quest is a movie which is about an in-world scifi show as well as an in-world real alien contact

Redshirts by John Scalzi is a novel which metatextually riffs on some of the common tropes in Star Trek, and scifi more broadly

It's also probably a good idea to think about why you have been using references to other texts to explain things in your story.

If you lack confidence in your ability to describe things, or if you aren't interested in worldbuilding, you can figure out how to develop these parts of your writing practice so that you don't have to keep reaching for other people's work to prop you up.

I hope this helps!