#today's topic is brooding lol

[quicksilverdrabbles]

Kaidan and Taliesin: *intense glaring*

Merlyn: Uhm.. What are they doing?

Caryalind: I'm not too sure. They've been staring at each other like that for about ten minutes. I'm starting to wonder if they've been paralyzed.

Inigo: I think they are having a brooding competition. Or a silent argument.

Caryalind: Either one seems likely.

Merlyn: Riiiight.. and what's Lucien doing?

Lucien: *pouting*

Inigo: Trying to copy their glares. It does not have the same affect.

Merlyn: He looks like a sad puppy. And Xelzaz?

Xelzaz: *glaring down at his alchemy table*

Caryalind: Trying to figure out where the ingredients he left out went.

Inigo: Do not tell him that I ate them.

Kaidan: *scoffs, breaking eye contact and walking away*

Taliesin: *chuckles*

Merlyn: Whether it was an argument or competition..

Caryalind: Kaidan just lost, haha.

[mareenavee]

WIP Wednesday WHENEVER :>

Hi everyone. I have a busy day today so I'll tag ya'll instead lol <3

Tagging the amazing and wonderful @paraparadigm, @changelingsandothernonsense, @thana-topsy, @thequeenofthewinter, @throughtrialbyfire, @wildhexe, @oblivions-dawn, @archangelsunited, @gilgamish, @dirty-bosmer, @kookaburra1701, @inquisition-dragonborn, @snippetsrus, @saltymaplesyrup, @expended-sleeper, @orfeoarte, @elfinismsarts, @ladytanithia, @miraakulous-cloud-district, @polypolymorph, @tallmatcha, @rainpebble3, @rhiannon1199, @viss-and-pinegar, @late-nite-scholar, @greyborn2, and YOU. Yep. If I've forgotten you, then you're tagged. Feel free to tag me back :>

I have two active WIPS today so you'll get a ~400 word fragment of each <3

Below the cut!

1) Light the Way (yet unpublished) Set in the 3rd Era, (and canon to World's fic universe) our Nerevarine Teldryn Sero has somehow convinced Neloth not to blatantly start a war, and to instead try a different approach to achieve his goals.

Sero’s face twisted through several emotions before it settled back into the familiar frustrated scowl he always wore. “The Empire can go f—”

“ —yes, yes, we know your sentiment. Spare me the histrionics, if you don’t mind,” Neloth interrupted with a flap of his hand, “because we do rather have things to accomplish today if we aren’t simply going to wreak havoc on the Mainland as I’d intended.”

“You know, we will have to discuss that topic again later,” Sero drawled, scratching the back of his neck. “As much as I don’t want to. For now, though, you’re right.” He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Hortator. It’s madness.”

Neloth glanced over at the distracted Nerevarine, caught in the glare from the soul gem. He’d likely win a prize for brooding if such a contest existed. Nobody seemed quite as capable of being so sullen over something as ridiculous as this. Granted, it was a responsibility that came with expectations even Neloth would be remiss to shrug off in favor of this abolitionist nonsense. But, like anything worth having, he’d eventually have little choice but to take the title. Or—Sero being Sero—convince himself he’d already earned it. The utter chivalry of the entire situation got exhausting after a while. What had happened to the slovenly bandit with a chip on his shoulder?

Though, come to think of it, Sero had never really been the type who allowed himself to be pointed in a direction and told to stab. He’d always been too clever for whatever he’d believed about himself all those years before. Not that he’d be caught dead telling the fool that, though.

Neloth shuddered at the implications of admitting any kind of respect for a non-mage, first of all, and an otherwise nameless urchin besides. Imagine. The Council would be in hysterics, and the ruse would be dropped, and every ounce of power he’d clawed to himself would evaporate in the blink of an eye. No. Securing a seat on the Grand Council was imperative if he wanted to keep his status. One did not simply earn a seat the same as anywhere else. Connections—or honestly, more like assassinations and lies. No. There had to be concrete proof of concept. What, exactly, could one do as a Grand Councilor that would advance the House’s position as a whole?

Destroy another house—especially one intent on encroaching on one’s own—by any means necessary.

2) The World on Our Shoulders, Chapter 31 The Embassy Arc begins and Athis is reeling from his encounter with someone some of you may find a bit...familiar :>

“You have no chance here,” the Altmer said. Athis paused and glanced at the man, eyebrow furrowed. His tone was matter of fact, like this was Gods-given truth. “They will find you and you’ll be no better off than I am.”

“We have a werewolf on our side, actually,” Athis said dryly as he scraped at the lock with his knife. “They’re welcome to try.”

“You are in over your head, Athis,” the Altmer said. Athis froze. For a second, he felt his heart all but stop. He exhaled through his nose. The man had to have heard Avulstein bellowing orders like he was leading the charge. That was the only explanation. The Altmer laughed, a mirthless thing. “Yes, just as I thought. I know who you are. We’ve known for a while now. Tell me, have you any idea where Nyenna ended up?” Athis slowly backed away, dropping the hunter’s knife in favor of his sword. The Altmer grinned crookedly and let out a low chuckle. “Because I do.”

Who was this?

“I’ll leave you here,” Athis warned, anger or bile rising in his throat, “and when Farkas is done here, there’ll be nobody left and you’ll rot alone in the darkness.”

“You wouldn’t, despite wiser advice,” the Altmer said, picking a thread off of his roughspun tunic. “That’s not who you are, from what’s been observed.” His voice had taken on a matter-of-fact tone. He was right, but Athis was still reeling.

“What do you know of Nyenna?” he asked after a moment, voice wavering. He swallowed hard. He had so many other questions, but the mention of her in a place like this… He had to know.

The Altmer seemed to ponder the question for a moment. “She’s on Solstheim. In a bit of a bad way, the last I’d heard, but the Telvanni are working on resolving the problem.”

“You’re lying.” Athis felt a knot form in his gut. A bad way? He knew then that listening to Aela’s advice had been a horrible mistake. That, or he’d fallen into some kind of trap.

“Believe whatever you want,” the Altmer said, gazing at his nails, caked as they were with dirt. He picked at them absently. “Regardless, it's as I said." He paused, listening intently as crashing sounded from somewhere on the upper levels of the keep. “The issue of Nyenna aside, you’ll never understand the gravity of what you’ve done here today. This will follow you. You’ve played right into their hands.”

[tanihanya]

You wanna know smth that worries me loads in media rn? The Overwhelming Pessimism (rant post, written at 12am lol)

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I was watching some older shows with my dad earlier-- and while some were a couple dated, Some things, really, really stuck out to me. We were watching M*A*S*H, the episode where the Cardinal Visits. It touches on deep topics, while still keeping it's normal humour, and feels good at the end. However, It was more after watching it-- that I sorta noticed... M*A*S*H would never air today.

And, No- Not because people would be 'Too Sensitive' - But the opposite, It's not dark enough. It's not grimy. It gives war as it is without being constant, overwhelming angst, and brooding darkness, and pessimistic characters--- I tried to think, about shows that were hopeful and meaningful and light today-- Movies, Even-- and I just, Couldnt. And that's because... as far as I know, what optimistic shows exist? From Superhero movies to sci fi, we have gritty, dark stories about corruption and being doomed and hidden issues we don't think about, constantly weighing down all the time. Online, we only see shit and how awful the world is outside, and never- never once- Like M*A*S*H and TNG, some shows I really like, Ways to deal with it, or try to help and fix it-- Nothing good, as if the human condition is nothing but misery and regret. But it's not like that. The World Sucks, it really does-- But we fucken neglect the things that make it redeemable, too- We neglect that change can, and has, happened. We seem to design the future as this unstoppable force of evil, that none of us can stop. Where are my TNGs and MASHs to help? where are the shows that are meant to give me faith? Where are the people still dreaming of futures, even if unattainable, to try to achieve? Where is our future? If all we ever think of is darkness, how can we ever expect it to be light? When we phrase "Realism" as the same as pessimism, the world falls into the pessimistic ideas itself-

Is Pessimism realistic? or are we making it realistic by being so pessimist? When we make only awful and gross futures, what future do we expect to grow into?

We don't allow eachother to dream. That is the right we are taking away from ourselves-- Something no external force can do. People in the past have dreamt of tomorrow in the worst of situations, why do we only ever make these nightmares? I'm going to be honest, While it's true that the world always has, and likely will, always suck, the fact is that we live here anyway- We need to make these changes, or try to, or the world will never become any different.

Yes, It's hard to try to change things, but it's harder to live in a world where nobody tried.

Where are the happy stories? Where have they gone? Where are shows like M*A*S*H, which acknowledge and explore the shit while appreciating the good ?

Where is half of our Human Condition? Where have we hidden it? It's easy to consume doomsaying media, Everybody does it. I do it. It's addictive to feel doomed, it's easy to throw all out and say that our futures will only get worse but--- Who Benefits? How does it help? It is hard to be hopeful, and it always feels like it gets harder as time goes on-- But we have to be Hopeful anyway. We have to dream or at least believe that things Can Improve.

If we never do that, then we never allow things to improve at all. If we let the world take away our ability to dream, we're giving up something that it has no right or access to. We need to welcome change. Yes, Recognise that "It's not good enough" But still be able to celebrate that it happened at all, that today is better than yesterday. I can't remember who said this, But I'm gonna quote a line that I heard once: "Welcome to Earth, Your Mission is to leave a better place than the one at your birth."

Forget about changing the world, you can change things down on our level. the personal level. you can still try, you can still work hard to make yourself happy- you can still be kind, and appreciative to others. We can still work for those glorious, unachievable dreams instead of these vicious, equally unrealistic nightmares. I hope this made sense <3

[irritablepoe]

do either of them get jealous when they are watching or spying on the other? if they are in the same place do they continue to stalk each other even after it is revealed or are they more direct with the other one? is it possible for either of them to act controlling (either on purpose or accident) because of the history of stalking?

OHHHH they would so get jealous. i mean poe is kind of a given i'd say, he's easily jealous, but i'm always scraping together the little evidence i have for ranpo being a jealous person as well, i think he is with the people he likes, like fukuzawa for example? kind of? and fsdhfshdkks he just HAS to get absolutely batshit crazy when poe gives other things or people attention. i mean that might be a stretch but when he reveals he's been brooding over the manuscript from mushitarou ranpo was kind of like "ugh that's so boring" which actually felt ooc? i think? bc i mean he loves mysteries right? so he's only interested in poe's mysteries apparently? or he wanted to impress poe? or compliment him? whatever it is that's going on in that brain of his i don't really know lol :3 but to get back on the topic i'd like to think they'd both get insanely jealous!

and i think they would just continue out of habit yk, and bc it's becoming their way of saying here i thought of you today :)) also a way of communicating probably like ranpo forgets his phone at home and he's jsut sending messages through gestures or sth. i'm sure ranpo would prefer that way of communicating anyways tbh

and hmmm, i think it would go to the point eventually that they just lack the communication then.. like they can't go further than what they're doing and can't tell themselves straight to the face what they're thinking yk? i don't think it'd escalate on a level of controlling the other though, i think they'd just explode at each other one day? (i want them to yell their feelings at each other anyways lmao)

[milkbaer]

love to hate you | part 3

„Grateful about the invitation of the queen, they are however not so grateful about her plans.”

previous | masterlist | next

• Pairing: Prince Friedrich x Reader (Princess of Bavaria) • Word count: 4.6k • Warnings: nothing, just the usual

• A/N: Because I’m a total idiot & couldn’t resists … I decided to switch up the collage every 2 chapters or so. C: Hopefully you all enjoy reading part 3 as much I did writing it lol

 • Small dictionary: Bärli – a cute nickname, kinda a cute way to say bear Wundervoll – wonderful, lovely, delightful etc. Mein Prinz – my prince Einfach himmlisch – (prob not the best translation) simply heavenly, wonderful, divine … something is just so good that it’s like smth divine

  Dear Readers,

You might have heard so already, yet another prince has set foot on English shore. Traveling from the Alps, Karl of Bavaria attended Lady Danbury’s latest soirée. As This Author has heard, they both know each other from the prince’s time at Cambridge. But I fear that I must disappoint all ambitious mamas, having made plans to snatch the other prince. Your Highness has arrived with his wife and daughter, Marie and Y/N of Bavaria. And This Author must admit that amongst the ladies of the ton, the young princess felt like a fresh breath of air. With her gown she truly looked like an edelweiss in the alps. I might say she is able to compete with our Incomparable. But do not fret all my ambitious mamas, I can assure you that the reason for the travels is not the prospect of marriage. There is no intention in looking for a gentleman on the princess’ side. All debutantes must be delighted at that, but I am sure that some gentlemen might not. But who can tell the future? Certainly not This Author, I fear.

– Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers

“I see you’ve left quite the impression, my dear,” spoke the queen, addressing you, but not looking up from the paper she held. It wasn’t the first time that you dined with a queen, but breakfast felt a bit more private and intimate than a banquet. Honestly, Queen Charlotte made you a bit nervous; you didn’t know her, and her palace was enormous and made you feel like you were in a different time. And she intimidated you, a lot. You only knew her for some hours and yet you could tell that she was the queen of giving looks.  You were unable to read the queen, maybe she was judging you for something or maybe not. You couldn’t tell.

“Yes? Who did I impress?” you asked, clueless, having no idea who she was referring to. Who could you have impressed that the queen was so delighted?

“Lady Whistledown.” Friedrich’s voice caught you off guard, he hadn’t spoken to you all morning, except for a curt ‘Good Morning’. Even now he wasn’t looking up from his plate. Instead, he shoved some scrambled egg into his mouth. “The paper my aunt is reading.”

Your eyes wandered back to the queen. Indeed, she was still focused on the small, white rectangle in her hand. You wouldn’t be too sure, but she hadn’t looked up from it once. Which means, that this paper must be really good. “Pardon, Your Majesty, but when you’re done reading Lady Whistledown could you lend it to me? I would love to read it too.”

For the first time Queen Charlotte’s eyes detached from the paper and with a quirked brow she looked at you. Was she sizing you up? Was she judging you? Had it been wrong from you to ask for it? To your relief her face turned into a small, amusing smile. “Of course, my dear. You can have it when I’m done.”

The queen was right, this paper was good! You couldn’t connect any of the names to a human being and yet you couldn’t stop reading it. Once you’d knew who this Lady Whistledown was referring to, it would be even better. But you already felt bad for the poor Miss Featherington.

Queen Charlotte watched with pursed lips how you soaked up the gossip of the ton. Solely by your wide, excited but nosy eyes could she, and honestly everyone else, see how much you enjoyed the rag. But the queen wasn’t much interesting in your reading habits. Her royal majesty couldn’t get the words, the praise of the anonymous writer out of her head.

I might say she is able to compete with our Incomparable.

She watched you precisely, examining you from head to toe – or since you were all sitting, your bust. Engrossed by the gossip rag you didn’t notice her sharp, hawk like gaze on you, watching you closely. Nor did anyone else at the table. Friedrich was too occupied by his breakfast, mostly a way to ignore you, and your parents were too engrossed by everything else, the breakfast, the interior.

The queen squinted her eyes, as if that allowed her to see sharp and more of you. She deeply disliked being in the wrong and she counted, she bet on Daphne. But whoever Lady Whistledown was, she was right. You could compete with Daphne, easily. You were a princess after all, nurtured to be flawless. Her sharp eyes moved to her nephew.

She chose Daphne.

You were a princess; you weren’t participating in this game.

She wished, no wanted Friedrich to find his match in Daphne.

The Queen was never wrong.

But …

Everyone likes an interesting season, don’t they?

“Say, how do you know each other?” she asked, leaning back into her chair.

“Oh, they know each other since childhood,” Marie answered. Neither you nor Friedrich were listening. You were too focused on people you didn’t know, and your own appearance, and Friedrich was too focused on ignoring you, blending out as much as possible.

The queen pursed her lips, brooding something under that massive wig of hers. “I see.”

While reading a column about yet another unknown girl, your eyes landed on Friedrich’s name. Curious on what this lady had to say about him, and the girl, you read every line precisely. But it was hardly about him, more about a girl named Daphne and that she has caught his attention. Bridgerton … Daphne … the names sounded familiar, but you couldn’t associate a face to them.

“Who is Miss Daphne Bridgerton?” you asked all sudden. At the mention of Daphne’s name Friedrich looked up, even though he swore he’d never react in any way to your voice again.

Friedrich stared at you in annoyance and disbelief. “Are you joking? You met her at the soirée.”

“Well, I met quite a few people. I can’t remember everyone.” He didn’t know why but your ignorance about Daphne irritated, no, angered him. How could you not know her?

“Oh, Bärli,” your mother Marie stated, knowing of your difficulties. “Reddish hair, blue dress. I think she was with this one duke.”

At the mention of a certainduke the queen and Friedrich frowned.

“Oh! The one with the bangs?” you asked, mimicking Daphne’s look with your index fingers. Marie nodded, it was exactly the one with the devil, or bee antenna, like bangs. Friedrich groaned in annoyance, he couldn’t cut off the feeling that you were purposely mocking her, and he couldn’t take it. He couldn’t let you mock poor Daphne. “Why are you even asking?”

“Oh, well.” You held up Lady Whistledown. “The lady is writing about her, the duke and you. Something about marriage. – I was just curious, that’s why I’m asking.”

“Lucky Daphne, being courted by a duke and a prince.” You sighed, maybe a bit too melodramatic.

They both frowned even more. Being maybe enamoured or well, , interested in Miss Bridgerton Friedrich didn’t like listening to stories about her and the duke. As a prince he could easily marry her, but he wasn’t one who used his title for love. And the queen disliked being in the wrong, even though she liked her season interesting.

After a moment of silence and peace, the topic of Lady Whistledown and Daphne long died down, Queen Charlotte approached you again. “Say, my dear. How do you like London so far?”

“Sadly, I haven’t seen much of it yet, your Majesty. But it is a wonderful city.”

Marie giggled. “Oh, I assure you, that’s not even all. She was thrilled when we arrived in London. Oh, you must have seen her when we reached Dover!”

Your mama could chatter for hours, especially when the topic were her children. Like so often, when she got caught in her flood of words, you tuned her out and focused on something else. No one seemed to listen to Marie’s rant, expect for the queen maybe, who nodded along with pursed lips. But she looked deeply in thought, like she was scheming something.

“Friedrich,” Queen Charlotte said, eying her nephew sharply. “Why don’t you show our guest around Town? Y/N hasn’t seen it yet and it would be a shame, if she left without seeing its splendour.”

Hearing her words, you couldn’t help yourself but stare at Friedrich in shock. He should be your tour guide? Him? Your papa knew London too, he could do the exact same job.

Friedrich didn’t look as appalled, but he wasn’t so fond of the idea either. His day could be spent with better activities, and people.

“That would be splendid, your Majesty,” you uttered. “But I am sure, that Friedrich’s schedule is filled to the brim.”

“No. – Actually, he has nothing planned,” she stated. “Or am I mistaken, Friedrich? As far as I know, Miss Bridgerton is not in town today.”

He gritted his teeth, wishing it was different. “No, you’re right, she is out with her family. – But I thought about riding …”

She turned back to you, a satisfied, even victorious, smile adorning her face. “Well, my nephew has nothing planned. He will gladly show you around London.”

“B-but what about a chaperone? I mean, even if we have guards accompany us, it would be unproper for us to go alone!” you spluttered, feeling like eight again, when Franziska and you had accidentally knocked over an old Meissen vase and tried to blame Maxi for it.

Sadly, all sucked up in the moment, you had forgotten that you were visiting London with your parents. “Bärli, mein Dummerchen, I will be your chaperone,” Marie chirped. “I, too, would like to see London.”

“Wundervoll…” Friedrich groaned under his breath, resisting the urge to ran his hands over his face and through his hair. His day was ruined.

“Wonderful!” exclaimed the queen, sounding very delighted, too delighted even. “Then it’s all settled.”

Standing in the hall all dressed up in a walking dress and matching pelisse, waiting for Friedrich and your mama to arrive, you were fuming. You couldn’t believe that your planless day had been ruined like that. No activity was pleasant as long god damn Friedrich of Prussia attended to it. And when he finally arrived, dressed in his usual boring Prussian-blue uniform, you glared at him.

No.

You threw daggers at him.

Friedrich wasn’t excited either but never had he seen you in such a sour mood, not since your childhood. And when he saw you, all fuming and mad, glaring at him dangerously, he gulped. Never had he seen you look so threatening.

Stomping your way over to him, you jabbed your finger into his chest. “This is all your fault!”

Already fed up with your attitude Friedrich grabbed your finger, forcefully, and pulled you towards him, chests almost touching. He hadn’t been that close to you since your last dance. Under normal circumstances the small distance of our bodies would irritate you, but now, all filled with your anger and other unpleasant emotions you didn’t even noticed.

“It’s not and you know it,” he snarled angrily, tightening his grip on your wrist. He was so incredibly close that you could feel his breath faintly brushing the tip of your nose and cheeks..

Huffing in anger was all you did, not knowing what to retort to that. He was right and you knew it. But you never would admit it, you were far too mad at him and the whole situation. It was obvious that none of you liked the current situation and yet he did nothing to writhe you out of it.

In anger you managed to forcefully twist and pull your hand out of his grasp. Tumbling back, you gripped, and caressed your tormented wrist with a hiss. He was stronger than you remembered.

“You could have called it off,” you hissed, still rubbing your wrist. “You men always have something important to do, don’t you?”

“I can’t! I gave her my word!” He didn’t. But he was smart enough to not objecting a queen, especially if she was the sister of his mother. It was better to be done with it quickly. Who even said that he had to spend the whole day with you and your mother?

Again, you huffed, and he felt it was the only thing you did now, but it was amazingly annoying. “Of course, you did,” you scoffed, glaring at him.

Wanting to retort to that, saying anything to have the last word, Friedrich opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Yes, he always kept his words but now he was lost of them. He wanted to throw them against your head, coaxing out a reaction, another one of your vexed faces. But he couldn’t. And when his brain finally put some words together, he had to shut it because he could hear Princess Marie approaching. Friedrich had stood there like a fool, like a damn fool and giving by your haughty, mocking grin you knew. You enjoyed it, took pleasure in seeing him like that.

. . .

It was difficult to stroll around London, sharing a coach and sidewalk, pretending not to love the idea to throttle each other. Especially accompanied by a chaperone that was your mother, who not only smiled delightful at the sight of Mayfair, Belgravia and other districts but also at the enforced couple across her. Gladly you would have loved to kick his shins multiple times but not with your mama’s eyes on you.

Briefly Friedrich had shown you Hyde Park, well you drove past it and he told you it was, well, a large park, where people did different activities. He had told Marie, not you, that he sometimes rode through it. Then you stopped at a huge, impressive building called Somerset House. Having been told that inside was a huge art gallery, walls literally painted with art from the ceiling to the floor, Marie and you wanted to visit it immediately. But Friedrich had to disappoint you. It wasn’t like a public museum and only shared its extraordinary art collection with the ton on special dates. Of course he didn’t told you, that as members of royalty, and friends and guests of the queen, you didn’t have to wait for a special occasion to visit. Friedrich wasn’t stupid and certainly not keen to spending hours with you alone, ignoring chaperone and guards, between art hung walls. But he was nice enough to inform you, that Somerset House would open its doors soon enough to celebrate its new wing.

And now you were here, strolling through the streets of Mayfair, or another rich part of Town, accompanied by guards and your dear mama. If the members of the tons, and other pedestrians, haven’t noticed prince and princess by themselves, they sure would do now with their entourage.

Carefully your hand lingered on his arm, you weren’t keen on touching it. You had tried to make Friedrich stumble several times, without success, it was difficult to hit his heels when you had to walk beside him. “You can touch me, you know?” Friedrich grumbled, mentally groaning about his own words. But you looked absolutely ridiculous with your hand not touching him even the slightest.

“My uniform is freshly cleaned and you’re just making a fool out of yourself,” he whispered to you, clearly annoyed by your antics. Quickly he regretted his words, when your hand laid down on his arms, pressing your fingers in it with as much pressure as possible. His uniform sleeve was sturdy enough to caught much of your force and yet it felt uncomfortable enough.

“You’re ridiculous!” He gritted his teeth, cerulean eyes glaring at you.

You smiled innocently at him, fluttering your lashes, but he could see the scorn in your face. “Oh, why? I’m just holding onto you with my dear life, mein Prinz.”

Absolutely flabbergasted did he look at you. That was the most disgusting and confusing thing that has ever left your mouth. It had completely thrown him off the tracks. You were unable to call him your Highness but were now calling him your prince? Yours? He was shocked, to say at least, unable to form any words in response. His brain was wiped out. He felt like a fool and with his lips parted, but no words passing through, he also looked like one. And you were absolutely enjoying it. You were bathing in this moment, enjoying his response proudly.

“Oh, what’s this?” you pulled at his arm and nodded towards a whitewashed building. Gentlemen, young and old, were streaming in and out, but looking at the walls it told you nothing. Some young gentlemen, bachelors perhaps, looked rather dashing, you had to admit.

“Can we go in there?” You asked, your eyes following a charming young man with fluffy brunette curls. Having been annoyed by your constant pulling and asking Friedrich now stared at you like you had two heads. As if you were a maniac … but he wouldn’t be surprised if you truly were on.

“No.”

“And why is that?”

Scoffing at your objection he rolled his eyes in annoyance. You were really testing him today. “Because my dear Y/N,” he stated, sounding like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and it was. “This is a Gentlemen’s club, and you are a woman.”

With wide eyes you starred at the white house. Well, this explained all the gentlemen, and no gentlewoman, swarming in and out of the building. “Oh.”

After the failed attempt of storming a gentlemen’s club, chasing mindless after a curly dandy, the tour around Town was a bit … uneventful. Friedrich showed you around Mayfair, mostly, briefly hinting at shops, cafés and market stalls. It wasn’t like London was boring, but Friedrich made sure to keep everything brief and quick. Not that you were keen on spending your day with him. But his rushed manners annoyed you, a lot. Since the club he was prone to end this as fast as possible.

“Oh! Is that a modiste?” Marie asked joyfully, like the guards she was a good distance behind you. Following her pointed finger, you too saw the small looking shop, all adorned in soft colours. Friedrich sighed, quickly reading the words on the signs above the door. Modiste. It was really a dressmaker…

“Yes, I think so,” was all he said, praying that you two wouldn’t want to go in there.

“Excellent!” Marie exclaimed. “Is she good? Do you know that Friedrich?”

Mentally he groaned, physically he only sighed. “Uh, pardon me.”

“Oh right! I forgot, men don’t go to the modiste,” she giggled.

“Explains why you are always wearing the same blue uniform,” you muttered, unable to hide your grin. You knew that men went to a tailor instead, but you couldn’t waste this opportunity.

He really held the desire to accidentally push you into a muddy puddle, like he did when he was eight or nine years of age. Instead of following his desire he smiled sweetly at Marie.

“Oh, I bet she’s good, but a princess like you surely doesn’t need to visit a local modiste..”

Clearly Friedrich had enough of playing escort for you and if you two would ever decide to visit the modiste he just hoped that you wouldn’t take him with you. Strolling around Town with you, and your death-like grip on his arm, was barely enough for him to handle. You were really testing him and his patience. But as long as Princess Marie was in reach, he was willing to keep up the last crumbles of his peaceful façade.

Almost desperately the prince wished for the day to end.

You, however, thought differently. While you were as much thrilled as he was about spending the day together, you did not like the way he treated you, dragging you around London like a child. Maybe he deserved some more time with you, and sometimes you had to make sacrifices yourself.

Rushing, yet again, through the streets, not listening to Friedrich’s curt explanations, your eyes fell on another whitewashed house. Its windows were rimmed white, and the door was lined with little trees cut into a ball. Different to the gentlemen’s club it had a very telling sign above its entrance.

“Oh! Is that a tea shop?” you asked him, despite already knowing what it was.

Friedrich nodded to that. “I see you can read.”

Feeling quite satisfied with his answer, at least you had rolled your eyes, he tugged you arm to move on. But you kept your feet rooted on the ground. Annoyed he pulled some more until your steal-like fingers left him. “Stop it,” you said. “I would like to go in there.”

Friedrich groaned annoyed, having some tea with you was the least thing he wanted to do. “Come on, we’ve to go.”

“No!”

“We’re not drinking tea, stop making a fuss,” he hissed, not liking that more people stared at you when you rose your voice. As a prince he was used to the stares of civilians, people stopped and stared whenever a member of royalty walked among them. And they were hard not to see with guards following their every step. But being the centre of attention because of a dispute was different.

“I am not fussing!”

“Yes, you are.”

Huffing in anger, he had already surpassed your state of annoyance with his attitude, you were looking for you last straw. Friedrich might be a prince, but he wasn’t your papa, and you would certainly not let him patronise you. He couldn’t forbid you some cup of tea.

“Mama?” you turned to Marie, who’s interest was piqued immediately. “The whole Town tour is a bit long, isn’t it? Quite tiring I would say. A stop at the tea shop doesn’t sound so bad, don’t you think, Mama?”

Friedrich couldn’t believe his ears. You really had picked that card?

For mere seconds Marie seemed to consider your words if the points you made were valid enough for visiting a tea shop. However, you knew your mother the best. You knew when you’d point out the tea shop and refreshments your mama would agree. Marie never refused the chance of good pastries. “Yes, it is a bit tiring,” she nodded. “I have to admit, I do feel quite thirsty. And the shop looks quite lovely…”

“So do I, Mama.”

“Friedrich, don’t you wish for some tea? You must be exhausted too.” The way Marie smiled at him he would feel more than bad to decline her offer. Frustrated he bit his lips knowing his afternoon was sealed. Refusing you, and only you, wasn’t difficult. But refusing Princess Marie and you? He could hardly do it, especially since your mother hold a kind character. It wasn’t her fault that she gave birth to a malicious witch.

Having tea at a tea shop was different than he had expected, mostly because Friedrich and you weren’t sipping tea but eating ice and pastries instead. Well, scones and macarons surely weren’t surprising for having tea but flavoured ice? When he thought about it, he hadn’t had ice for ages. Maybe he should’ve gone to Gunter’s Tea Shop much, much earlier. He should take Daphne here, she’d love it.

“Mama, are you sure that you don’t want any? The ginger ice cream tastes amazing.”

Nipping at her cup of tea Marie smiled and shook slightly her head. “Thank you, Bärli. But I’m happy with tea and biscuits.”

To be fair, their pastries, especially the macarons were as good as the sorbet. Scooping up some more ginger sorbet you enjoyed its cool and sweet, and slight sour, taste with a delightful hum. It felt like eating angels’ dish. Adding a sweet raspberry macaron made it even better. Right now, you definitely were in heaven.

“Einfach himmlisch,” you sighed over a new scoop of ice cream. In Friedrich’s ears your overjoyed sounds were annoying but sadly also distracting. His plan was simply to ignore you until you three were done with your sweet break. But with every sound you made, and you made a lot, all gushing over Gunter’s sweets, his eyes shot to you. It was only brief, yet distracting and annoying.

Devouring delicious ice cream and pastries apparently made you so happy, you looked like a completely different person to him. More at ease, less pugnacious and … he hated to admit it, but you looked kind and lovely.

“Well, it’s good but not that good,” he grumbled, even though he thought of it as delicious as well, and immediately earned a light kick, with greetings from you. He hissed at the brief but sharp pain. Forget nice and lovely, your looks were some kind of ruse or trap to lure in the innocent to torture them with your wickedness.

But Friedrich made the mistake to look at you. It was meant as a glare, flashing you a grim look of anger, but when he saw you all innocent, and ravished by the simple taste of ice cream, he couldn’t stay mad with you. Usually, he’d love to kick you back or do anything else to repay you but now … all desire for revenge was gone.

Hm, that was really weird.

Must be the light and the whole café itself.

Foremost you sat at a very unfortunate spot, right at the window and near a shiny tray of petit fours, scones and macarons. The pastries didn’t do much to you, or him. But he had to admit that your pelisse worked perfectly well with the shop’s colours. You looked like you belonged here, which was only troubling him slightly. But the window … it must be the window. The noonday sun shone right at you, softened by the white curtains of Gunter’s. It made your hair shone bright and warm, as did your skin, especially your cheeks. You were glowing and blessed with the divine sweet taste of sherbet, looking scarily peaceful, content, and lovely, you looked like a painting that belonged to the national gallery. Daphne had been right you looked lovely.

Friedrich stopped. Had he just thought that you looked lovely? Did he just compare your looks to art? No, he couldn’t – he didn’t. You must have bewitched him with a wicked spell or something, or was this a ruse to confuse his poor mind and trick him? It must be. Knowing you the lady sitting in front of him wasn’t you, she was far too calm for that. You were two separate persons.

But your cheeks looked so warm and soft …

“Friedrich, is everything all right? Your ice is melting,” asked Marie, slightly worrying about the young prince. He hadn’t noticed that he was staring at you, very noticeable. For how long had he looked at you, admiring your changes in look?

Clearing his throat, he smiled at your mother, reassuring her that everything is alright, hoping that she didn’t noticed him starring at her daughter.

“Yes, I was just think– ,” Friedrich winced and whimpered faintly, but noticeable. With a pleased sly smile, you enjoyed another scoop. He needed some time to compose himself from your shoes, you had managed to hit the exact same spot as last time. “I was just thinking. Everything’s good.”

Except for the throbbing pain in his shin, everything was good. It was clearly that his eyes and mind had fooled him, because now he knew that you were not merely a wicked, malicious witch. Minutes ago, you had been a mermaid but you were a siren nonetheless, tricking him with your calmness into believed safety only to torment his leg yet again.

 taglist: @netflixton @onlymexsarah @awesomebooklover17 @verygardenerbanana @bxnnywatts  @freyagallileaevans​ @bicyhot1​

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[gwynrielsupremacy]

Azriel surprises Gwyn for her birthday PART 5

Guys what have i done???? I'm so addicted to writing their story this part was like 5 pages long lol. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT and I thank you soooo much, your comments both on AO3 and here are really inspiring me to keep on going.

Also I created a Chapter List to organize the parts better from now on. You can check it out right here!

Also thanking my following supporters @katiebellf @madie2200 @starbornsinger THANK YOU SO MUCH GIRLS. I swear you get me so hyped to keep on writing this <3

Part 5.

Azriel couldn’t stop thinking about Gwyn. He tried not to remember her lips brushing against his skin, the way she spoke against his chest, the light pressure of her body in his arms. But somehow in a few hours since he surprised her it was proving harder and harder for him to focus on anything happening around him. And he was the Shadowsinger, for Mother’s sake. He needed to stay alert for a living.

“Az” Cassian called him from across the table. “Are you listening to me at all?”

The two of them were at their most visited tavern, waiting for Rhys to arrive. Azriel stared at his beer in front of him, already half-drank, and shook his head. Cassian snorted.

“I asked if everything went alright” Seeing how he still seemed a little aloof, his brother continued “Today. With Gwyn’s birthday present.”

Before he could answer, Rhys appeared right by their side. Greeting both of them, he sat by the table and joined in.

“What are we talking about?”

“I’m trying to get to Azriel about his birthday gift for Gwyn today.” Cassian smirked through his glass “But it appears he’s not very talkative, as usual.”

“Ah, it was today? I wasn’t aware.” Rhys asked with furrowed brows.

“Not many people knew” Azriel justified.

“And you did?”

“I remembered.” It was all he could manage to say.

Both of their brothers exchanged glances, as if talking internally. Azriel didn’t interrupt them, although he knew what they might be saying, because suddenly his interest fell upon someone across the room. Someone whose back was to him, ordering from the bar, her long copper hair falling loose behind her. His heart jumped a beat, even though he knew it was impossible for Gwyn to be there. She was enjoying the Valkyrie’s companies, after all.

Rhys followed his gaze to the spot across the bar, and chuckled quietly. It was enough for Azriel to blink and turn to his brothers. But in his mind, he found himself growing impatient to see her. He could picture her perfectly right now, sitting comfortably in the couch, probably in the House’s library, laughing and joking with Nesta and Emerie. She’d be flushed, from the heat of her drink or the subject of their conversation, and her beautiful, copper hair would be tied in a loose braid: just like he’d seen her last, but with a more comfortable outfit than her leathers. A part of him wished he were there with her. A part of him wished they’d never parted from that embrace. Because if she had just waited… Azriel didn’t know what he could’ve done next.

“Brother.” Rhys was smiling now, and Cassian was trying not to laugh. “How did it go?”

“Well.” Azriel forced himself to come back to the present. “She really liked it.”

“And?” Both of their brows were raised high right now, the portrait of amusement.

“And it was all. She thanked me, and that was it.”

“But she liked it? A lot?”

And damn him if Azriel couldn’t contain his smile now, as he remembered her face lighting up, her smile, her laugh, her hug, her kiss… Everything. He noticed something different in her posture during dinner, and when he winnowed back from leaving Diane, Gwyn’s eyes seemed to be shining from emotion. He was so tense waiting for her reaction that when she hugged him he was completely taken aback. But it felt right, every second of their embrace. Breathing in her scent, feeling her back against his hands… It just felt right.

“She did. A lot.”

He joined in a silent laugh as Cassian and Rhys smiled broadly, and the latter tapped his shoulder. We’re happy to see you like this, brother, they seemed to say, or it was his shadows whispering to him. Either way, he didn’t care. He was happy too.

*****

“I want to get out more.”

Gwyn blurted out just as soon as she, Nesta and Emerie arrived at their spots in the training ring the following morning. The three of them were late due to their birthday girl’s night, but neither Azriel nor Cassian did mention it. After his night with his brothers and current hangover, they weren’t the ones to say anything.

“What do you mean more?” Nesta asked as they both stretched their legs on the floor.

“I mean out of the library. I should have done this a long time ago, but now I think is time to release myself from Merril’s claws. It helped me a lot, I’m grateful for it, but enough is enough” She rushed the words, as if she just had to spit out everything she was feeling at once.

Azriel tried his best not to turn around and join their conversation, only because he wouldn’t like to pry.

“I think that’s great. Where do you plan on living?” Emerie questioned with interest.

“Well… I don’t know.”

Azriel chuckled quietly at her bluntness, hoping the females wouldn’t hear.

“You’re welcome to stay here at the House of Wind for as long as you want, right Cas?” He could feel Nesta smiling as she went on “Az?”

He turned around, striding to the three females on the floor, as if he’d not been paying attention this whole time.

“What?”

“Gwyn’s thinking of leaving the library and I invited her to stay here with us for as long as she wants.” Nesta repeated, smiling almost mischiefly. Azriel didn’t know what Cassian told her, but he fought the urge to grimace at his brother from across the room. Not that he’d speak a lot about it the night before, but Rhys and Cassian knew him too well to know something might be going on.

“Of course.” He nodded, giving his usual half smile.

Yes yes yes yes yes

His shadows agitated in excitement, and he controlled them the best he could as he stared at Gwyn. But by the way she looked up at him, and then at his shadows, he knew she caught up on something. He didn’t let his smile falter, though. He was happier than he would admit. And then she blushed. Furiously.

Azriel blinked, but she was already facing the other side of the ring. He couldn’t think much through it, because Cassian decided that was the moment for them to start training. And so they did, falling into their usual stances and going through the routines.

Everything just felt easy when they trained together. Correcting her, encouraging her, even taunting and challenging each other, it was all their usual behavior. Still, today he felt something else. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger around it, but nonetheless, he still felt it. It was that slight posture change from the night before, how Gwyn now seemed lost in thought for a few seconds when she looked at him. It was that same tension from last night, those seconds of silence where she stood a few feet from him at the dining room, her piercing eyes looking at his, before they hugged. Something had changed, and he really wanted to know what.

When training finished, Azriel was arranging the equipments on the training ring when he heard her all-too familiar voice.

“See you later, Shadowsinger.”

He turned around to face her, but she was already gone.

******

“So” Nesta started as she took a sip from her orange juice. “I’m thinking about inviting Gwyn to come over to dinner at the River House, this Friday. She only went to the Town House, and it was months ago. What do you think?”

Azriel, Cassian and Nesta were having lunch at the balcony in the House of Wind, and he tried his best to ignore her inquisitive eyes: eyes that knew too much, her sharp intelligence not missing a thing. Cassian nodded all the same, but Az knew she wasn’t asking her mate.

“I think that’s good.” He kept his tone neutral and stared at her inexpressively. His typical Shadowsinger posture.

But she only snorted in response, shaking her head.

“You two…” She muttered to herself.

Azriel kept in silence, and ate another mouthful of food. Cassian, then, seeming to realize they were having a new type of conversation, crossed his arms and reclined in his seat.

“What’s happening here?”

Azriel rolled his eyes, but Nesta quickly retorted, ignoring Cassian completely as she kept those cunning eyes over Az.

“I may ask you the same. What’s the deal with Gwyn’s birthday gift?”

“I did what you suggested me to do.” Azriel responded simply, but Nesta didn’t buy it.

“Please. You know that’s not what we suggested. What’s going on between you two?”

Cassian glanced repeatedly from his brother to his mate, highly amused by their topic of conversation.

“Yeah, brother, what’s going on between you two?”

“We’re friends.” Azriel meant what he said: indeed, they were. Even though he wasn’t quite sure if friends felt that difficulty in stop thinking about each other the way he’d been having during these last hours. “That’s it.”

“Keep saying that to yourself.” Cassian smirked as he and his mate exchanged a knowing look that got to Azriel’s nerves. Cauldron, he needed to get away from these two for some time. Not only because they were intolerable when they wanted to, but because he knew they were right.

And still, like magnets, his thoughts couldn’t stay away from Gwyn for too long. Couldn’t ignore that slightly odd behavior this morning, her blushing and staring. Was it possible she got embarrassed from the moment they shared together? Regretful even, of those minutes they were in each other’s arms? Or could it be that… Or could it be that she felt something else entirely, something his rational side was only starting to realize might feel for her?

And so, he got up to do what he always did when consumed by thoughts. With a grunt as response at those two in front of him, he went flying.

*****

He seemed to get home at the right time. After hours of brooding and soaring, brooding and soaring, his wings were sore and his shadows, restless. He didn’t exactly come to a conclusion about what he felt, but one thing he could admit: whatever it was that was going on with him, he liked it. He liked Gwyn, and what they had with each other. She made him feel… Peace. Stillness. In a way he never truly had felt before.

He thought about the night he told her about the necklace, all those months ago. How she could immediately tell what he was about to say when he mentioned Elain, and at the end she merely whispered “Don’t worry. I understand.” The way he knew she could see his relief, his shoulders relaxing at her response. Her gentle, sensible smile, as if she knew he was having a rough time, and could relate to that. Her understanding was all he was craving for at the time, and it made his heart warm up when he got it.

She was too kind.

And then that side of him attacked again, intrusive thoughts he was trying his best to control these last few weeks. He didn’t deserve someone to treat him like that. She could’ve pushed him away, she should’ve fought him. She should’ve yelled at him, despised him. After all, she was in her right, and he was that heartless monster, the one that got there too late that night, all those years ago. But for some reason, she didn’t do it. And their friendship only grew stronger from that point on.

He trailed off as soon as he got to the hallway, and saw a curious Gwyn follow Nesta through the rooms, showing her the place.

“Ok, so, I think you know all of it by now. Have you talked to Clotho yet? We can move you in right away.”

Gwyn nodded. “Yeah, I did. She acted like she was fine with it.”

“Do you need any help?”

They both turned on their heels as they looked at Azriel. Damn, that’s when he realized he hadn’t taken a bath since that morning. And he spent the afternoon flying.

But Gwyn didn’t seem to mind it, as she offered him a smile.

“No need, I haven’t got much to carry upstairs anyway.”

“Welcome home” He couldn’t help his relaxed, even slightly hopeful tone, as he threw her a knowing smile.

She huffed a laugh and thanked him. With a nod, he excused himself and went to his chambers. When he closed his door, he let his shadows run free, because he, too, shared their joy that Gwyn would be closer to them now. He took a long, hot bath, and when he got out and was getting dressed, he heard a knock on his door.

He opened it up to see Nesta with a triumphant smile on her face. He grunted “What do you want”

“Just so you know” She said by way of greeting. “Gwyn will be sleeping in this floor from now on.”

“You…”

“I didn’t do anything. She chose it, and the room she liked best was coincidentally that one” She pointed towards the third door on the left. “Hope you don’t mind.”

He swallowed, and that was the only visible sign he felt something about that information.

“As long as she doesn’t, it’s fine by me.”

“Perfect!” Azriel fought the urge to roll his eyes at her smugness.

But his heart rate suddenly went up at the thought of being that close to Gwyn. And he couldn’t deny that he spent the rest of the night way, way more aware of the sounds around him than he usually was.

[lolokiquit]

Without Me I

Word Count: 4.4k

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x F!Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut (future chapters) I CEO au(?) idk what this should be catagorized as lol

“Tell me, how's it feel sittin' up there? Feelin' so high, but too far away to hold me.”

Without Me (Halsey)

“One day I’ll give you the world I promise.” You only allow yourself to think of him when you're drinking, only when you're drinking. In those nights where your mind is hazed with alcohol, and the guilt of everything begins to eat you alive slowly. You remember the way he used to look at you with the twinkle of the night sky or the way his eyes would crinkle whenever he laughed. You remember the nights where you whispered nothing into his ear and the days when he was your whole world. Then slowly, as those memories start to fade, you begin to recall the screaming, the way he always seemed to come home drunk with blood on his fingers, and the way you begged for him to quit. By the time the memories finished making their rounds, you couldn't stop the bitter taste from crawling back into your mouth. The morning glow outside your small apartment window has started to peek through the night sky, and you realized that you've spent yet another night lost in the man that you lost so many years ago.

"Hoseok, stop that tickles," you giggled as your boyfriend wrapped his arms around your waist. You're in the kitchen of your new home that you had just moved into, an apron on, and smiles as wide as the morning sun. It's been hard coming up with the money to finally move from your small hometown in Busan all the way to Seoul. But through all of your shifts in the convenience store to the restaurant down the street from your childhood home, the two of you had made it.

"You look like the perfect housewife," He giggles into your ear, "I promise one day when I finally make enough money to buy you that diamond ring, I'll ask you to marry me, and we'll live happily ever after," You think that this must be what heaven feels like.

Being at the fresh age of 23, you couldn't have been more naive. Everything that the world had to offer seemed too innocent, and your future with Hoseok seemed so bright. You saw a big house with a picket fence, children running in the backyard, and a loving husband in your arms.

"Yes," you think to yourself, "This is what my future is going to look like." Running your soft hands through his hair Hoseok's eyes glitter as he slowly whispers, "let's never change," mirroring his lovestruck eyes, you slowly whisper back, "ok."

Love is a strange thing. Growing up in a family where the sound of screaming and breaking glass was as expected as the sun rising, could anyone blame you for jumping at the first sign of affection you were shown? It was no surprise that the boy in a leather jacket and tattoos on his arms who promised you all of his love had you wrapped around his coarse fingers in record speed. Meeting him at seventeen, you began to think that maybe life didn't hate you so much after all. It wasn't like you had a choice. After all, his advances towards you swarmed your everyday life like cockroaches and cancer cells that infested every single part of your being. You found yourself unable to stop your doom. He became your reason for everything. You breathed into him almost as if he was the oxygen that ran through your bloodstream. You couldn't live without him.

Your friends had warned you about the boy that had magic in his eyes and sweet words on his lips telling you that you couldn't change a person like him, but you were too young and reckless to care. Maybe it was the glint of the galaxy and freedom in his eyes, or perhaps it was the lingering sense of loneliness that you felt as if the two of you shared. But at that moment, you knew you would risk it all for him.

It was an uneventful Tuesday afternoon. You stood in your local supermarket staring at the little amounts of money you had left in your hands. Your father had stopped sending his child support months ago. With your mother constantly drunk out of her mind, you and your siblings were now only surviving on the part-time job you worked at the coffee shop down the street. You slowly started adding up all the necessities you needed. Milk, eggs, toilet paper….Your brooding was cut short as the loud hooting and screaming of teenage boys filled your ears. Before you knew it, the whole store had turned into utter chaos. The group of, from what you could tell, 7 boys with guns and knives had started running around the store, looting whatever was in sight. The store manager had come out staring at the whole scenario playing out in front of him in shock. He started yelling as well, threatening to call the police as the boys simply laughed in response.

Soon, police sirens began to ring from a distance. You stood frozen solid to your spot by the tomatoes, and your shock slowly melted into fear. Were you going to die today? You didn't have much time to think when suddenly someone grabbed your hand and screamed "RUN" and started dragging you right along with him. You weren't sure if it was a pure reflex or the adventurous inner side of yourself finally showing. But you found your legs starting to move to their own accord as you began to zooming off with the random stranger.

You ran and ran like your life depended on it. The cold winter air ran through your hair, and for a moment, you finally felt like you could breathe again. As if some sort of craze has taken over you, you began to laugh maniacally like there was no tomorrow. You laughed and screamed along with the others as you continued to run. You went on without stopping until you reached the shores of a nearby beach.

The stranger finally let go of your hand, and for a moment, the world around you went still. You stood there staring at each other for what felt like forever before he finally spoke up with a grin. "Well, that was a good one, wasn't it?" He laughed as the boys that were with him also started to chuckle. You continued to stare, looking like a lost deer caught in headlights. "I'm sorry," the boy continued on. "You just looked like you needed something to spice up your life; you looked quite bored up there."

The realization that he was actually speaking to you and that you needed to form some sort of response hit you. You started fumbling for words, the shock from the previous events only now beginning to set in. "I-I yea I mean I.." you trailed off, being at a loss of words.

"It's ok, you can find the right words later. Now how about we continue on this adventure. It would be pretty pointless for you to stop now, wouldn't it be?" He replied before you had the chance to actually come up with a coherent sentence.

After a couple seconds, you came to the final conclusion that he was right. You pondered your options. You could either go home to your most likely drunk mother, who wouldn't have noticed that you had already missed your curfew, or you could take a chance for once in your life. You really didn't have much to lose, so you might as well finish what had already been started, right?

So off you went with him, getting on the back of his bike, you set off.

Riding across abandoned highways, you screamed at the top of your lungs and laughed as you've never done before. At that moment, you felt so free. The stranger promised to show you the brightest sky of stars you've ever seen in your life, and with a smile, you agreed.

You finished the night learning that the boy's name was Jung Hoseok. You memorized the stars in his eyes over the stars in the night sky. You'll never know what it was exactly that drove Jung Hoseok to grab you that day, perhaps fate? Or maybe he just needed a new play toy on that specific night. But at that moment, Jung Hoseok had become your own personal savior, a beam of light that shined down into your dying world. Whether he was an angel sent from above or the devil himself, you weren't sure, but one thing was for sure, you were in love.

But that was in the past. Now, you're stuck in a small apartment in the middle of Seoul alone, working an ok job, eating, sleeping, surviving. But Jung Hoseok, however, Jung Hoseok had become a living god. Even that in itself seemed to be an understatement. His power ran through the streets of Seoul and all the way around the world. Owning Seoul's most prominent and most influential company. No matter how you think about it, you can't seem to shake off the bubbling sense of anger. How you had abandoned your whole family, your whole life back in Busan to follow him here, to a foreign city that you didn't know. How you had stood by his side through all the questionable things he did and all the pain that he caused, only to be left on the curb when he finally decided that you were no longer good enough for him.

The truth was the fact that you had never really gotten over him. How could you? He was your world, your life, your everything. And the moment he walked out of your life, he took a part of you with him.

Sometimes you would reminisce on the old times. The days where the two of you were still trapped in that little town and had nothing else to hold but each other. Hoseok had always been the bigger dreamer out of the two of you. With his miniature gang activities within the town, he had always believed that there was something more. He wanted to see the world, to soar above the clouds, and to experience life. In fact, he was the one that had brought up the topic of Seoul first.

It was four in the morning, and the sun was about to rise as you and Hoseok lay at that beach where you had first met when he finally brought it up.

"Let's go to Seoul" the offer was so sudden, so out of the blue, that you laughed, thinking he was joking.

"I'm not joking," he starts again. "Let's go to Seoul. Let's get out of here."

"Hoseok," you say, slowly starting to sit up, "You can't be serious, can you? We're both dead broke. There's no way we can just spontaneously decide that we're going to Seoul."

You had just graduated high school a year ago and had immediately taken up several part-time shifts at places all across town to try to provide for your family. For people like you, the idea of college was merely a luxury that you couldn't afford.

“Jien-ah listen to me ok? Staying here is a dead-end road. We'll never be able to amount to anything" Hoseok stood up and started to shake the sand off of him. "You KNOW that we have to leave at one point or another. Didn't you want to go to college? We have futures. There are things out there for you to see, places to visit. We can't stay here. You know that"

You sat there, not knowing what to think. You knew deep down that Hoseok was right. You couldn't stay holed up in this good-for-nothing town forever. You had to leave. But you were scared, scared of change. The future seemed so terrifying you didn't know if you wanted to jeopardize your future more than needed.

It wasn't until weeks later did Hoseok bring up the topic of Seoul again. It was after another screaming match with your mother about her drinking habits. This time the two of you were sitting on the roof of your old high school. Your eyes were poofy after having cried out probably all of the water that was in your body when he asked the same question again, "let's run away to Seoul." This time, without hesitation, you answered, "ok."

The decision to move to Seoul with him was both the hardest and easiest one in your life. You knew you had to leave the town that trapped you. Still, the watering eyes of your siblings and the familiarity of everything around you made it so hard to leave. The hurt and betrayal that your siblings had felt the second you walked out of your run down house was enough to have you on your knees. But for once, you wanted to be selfish, to finally chase what you had wanted in life. So after much pondering and hundreds of shifts at your several part-time jobs, you finally packed all of your things in one suitcase, and you left. You walked out of that door, got on Hoseok's bike, and off the two of you drove. From that moment on, you never looked back because you knew that you couldn't. There was no longer a home that you could go to, no matter how crappy, no, Hoseok was all you had now.

Hoseok had told you before you moved that he had connections from old friends in Seoul that had gotten him a job. Apparently, this job had come with an apartment which meant that housing wouldn't be a problem. You, being the naive girl you were, never really questioned this said job and its description. Instead, you busied your first couple of weeks in Seoul, settling into your new apartment. Though it was small, it was still something that you and Hoseok could call your own. You found a job as a barista at the cafe down the street, and life began to fall into a comfortable routine.

For the first two years, the two of you were happy. Hoseok was doing well in his job, so well that two of you were able to enroll you in your nearby college, and you began to study literature. Hoseok never really discussed his job with you, claiming that he didn't like to bring work home. You never really asked either, accepting that his work was the only part of him that he likes to keep to himself. You busied yourself with work and school, you were finally able to live the life you had spent years being envious of. You went to college, made friends, had nights out, and had an amazing boyfriend that loved you. There was simply nothing that could bring you down from the high you were from. Little did you know that it was only the beginning

You set your steaming mug of hot tea on your nightstand, thinking fondly back to the years where your future had seemed so bright. Everything you could've imagined and more. You were finally on the right track, a college degree, hopefully, a good job, a stable income, and maybe children in the near future with a man that you loved. You had slowly begun to lose your edge, you no longer felt sorry for yourself, and slowly, you were starting to believe in the statement that as long as you work hard, you'll be able to reach the goal you had always been so desperately longing for.

But like most good things in your life, they don't last.

It's your fourth year in Seoul and your third year in college when you start noticing the shift in Hoseok's behavior. He left for work so early in the morning and came back so late that you almost never saw him. He seemed to come home later and later each day. The two of you no longer ate dinner together, or baked cookies, or watched your favorite movies, hell, you had barely had a proper conversation in weeks. He wouldn't reply to your messages, once again using work as an excuse, and never picked up your calls. It almost seemed as if you were dating a ghost.

Even though the whole situation made you feel uneasy and as if you were put on the back burner, you never brought it up to him. You were a coward. You were petrified because a part of you deep down knew what this meant, that he had lost interest. You don't blame him though, the two of you had been together for so long there was no longer anything new or exciting. He didn't take you on motorcycle rides anymore. Being in a large city like Seoul, there were no beaches to explore and no abandoned highways to see the stars from. He no longer had the time for you, and you knew it.

Hoseok's job had gotten even more important as time had passed by. He had been promoted and had been making more money than you could have ever imagined. Your little apartment had been traded in for a penthouse that was too big for you and no longer felt like home. Your wardrobe was filled with designer that you weren't used to. Hoseok had gotten rid of his leather jacket and motorcycle and traded them in for a Mercedes and expensive suits. He no longer smiled at you like the sun, and whenever he did smile, it almost seemed forced.

But you never bought any of this up; you simply greeted him with a smile and kiss whenever he had the time. Your mind would often wander off to places it shouldn't go; perhaps he was cheating on you? It wouldn't be hard for a man like him to find women that fancy him. He probably had millions lining up wanting and wishing for some of his attention. He was no longer the scruffy boy that took you on adventures and swore to protect you from the rest of the world.

There were days where you would lie on the king-sized bed you shared with your close to nonexistent boyfriend, thinking of the better days. The days where the two of you were cramped in that small apartment, the days where he would help you with dinner and almost burned down the house, the nights where you talked about everything and nothing at the same time. You ran your hands around the ring attached to the necklace that rests perfectly on your collarbones.

You were slowly stirring the boiling stew in your kitchen while anxiously stared at the clock. Hoseok should've been back hours ago. He hadn't called saying he would be late, and in the years you had been together, Jung Hoseok had never been late without calling. You were worried. It had been close to a year since you've moved to the big city, and life was going pretty well. Granted, there were still days where you and Hoseok struggled with the bills and had arguments like any other couple. But the two of you were living your dream lives, and it couldn't have been any better.

Right as you were about to get lost in your own daydream, Hoseok came bounding in like a kid on Christmas day.

"Hey, why didn't you call? I was so worried-" before you could finish, you scolding Hoseok had already folded you in his arms with a bear hug.

"I love you," He mumbled into your hair. "You know that, right? That I love you?"

"Of course I know. Jung Hoseok, is this your way of trying to get out of trouble? I swear-" But before you could finish the cut, you off again by whipping a small red box out of his pocket, and you gasped.

"Don't worry, I'm not about to propose to you in the middle of our kitchen," He laughed "that would be kind of lame. But this is for you" He opened the box and in it was a beautiful diamond ring. "I've been saving up for months. This isn't an engagement ring. It's only a man-made diamond. But one day-" He pointed outside your window, "I'll buy us a penthouse in one of those buildings in, and I'll really get down on one knee, then I'll ask you to marry me. But for now, this is just a promise ring. I promise one day I'll marry you." He looked up at you expectantly after his long speech. You were staring back at him with tears in your eyes as you choked out a simple "ok."

The two of you held each other for what felt like forever until you smelled something burning in the air, and you realized that the stew you had on the stove was now burnt.

You can't help but smile as you think back to those bittersweet memories. It's been over 4 years since Jung Hoseok has made that decisive step out of your life. But you still wore that necklace as a reminder of the better days. The days where the naive little girl in you still believed in love. When you still believed that as long as you gave in a relationship, you would surely receive.

You're smarter now; you've grown up. You no longer believed in the sweet words of others, and you no longer fell for sparkling eyes. Jung Hoseok had ruined that for you. You were rougher around the corners, and deep down, you knew that perhaps your story with him wasn't as special as you put it out to be because, in the end, you were just another one of his chapters to his never-ending story or girls. But sometimes, you liked to try to convince yourself that you had been something more. You can't help but think that maybe, you could've been something more.

It's midnight, and you've already had an entire bottle of champagne to yourself. Hoseok wasn't home, but that was no surprise. He never was. You laughed quietly at how pathetic you had become. Since when were you one to not speak your mind? But now, here you were terrified out of your mind at the notion of bringing up fears to your boyfriend, who, keep in mind, was supposed to be the one that you were to trust the most, he was supposed to be your home, he was all you had left. But no, you were a coward that was terrified of being alone, so you never brought it up in fear that he would leave you.

The front door creaked, then opened, and in walked Jung Hoseok in all of his broken glory. An expensive Armani suit `bedazzled with gold cuffs adorned his toned figure, paired with Louis Vuitton slippers and his newly acquired stoic expression. If you hadn't known any better, you would've mistaken him to be one of the born elites that the two of you used to despise. But you knew, you hoped and prayed that deep down, somewhere where light could still reach, the boy with shaggy brown hair that looked at you instead of the night sky still existed. That perhaps he was just a little lost and needed some coaxing to come back. Those were the thoughts that kept you sane as the past couple of months had unraveled.

Slowly you stood from your stool and made your way towards the front door. Hoseok was in the process of hanging up his trench coat when he noticed your presence, almost immediately freezing after the realization. There was an unexplainable tension in the air, a silence so thick it could've drowned you both. The two of you stood in front of each other. Either of you dared to utter a word. It was almost as if you both knew that once the conversation started, you would no longer be able to go back to pretending that everything was ok again. After what seemed like hours, you were the one that made the first move, maybe it was the alcohol in your veins that prompted your next words, but at that moment, with all the pent-up anxiety and hurt, you no longer cared. Mustering up all your courage, you finally asked him the question that you had been dying to know. "Do you still love me?"

Deep down, you both knew that the end was inevitable. You both wanted different things now. While you were still envisioning white picket fences and running children, Hoseok had started to see more. He wanted power and control, he wanted to be known, to be respected, and he knew that all of that would have to come at a price. He was selfish, he didn't want to have to choose, no he wanted to have both.

It's three in the morning, and Jung Hoseok stood on the roof of his million-dollar penthouse. The wind was blowing, the skies dark, signaling the arrival of a storm. As Hoseok starred up into the seemingly endless sky, his own storm brewing inside his head. The world underneath him seemed so distant and small, almost ant-like. Compared to his inner hurricane, all the Honks and raging cars of the rush hour seemed practically serene.

 As expected, he started hearing her calling out to him from a distance. She whispered his name, soft and gentle, like the waves by the beach she used to love so much. Hoseok would often hear the voice in the distant winds. It was as if she was so close, just in hand's reach. But whenever he reached out to grab her, she would disappear again.

She was the air he breathed, the drug that he couldn't cut, and if her love were the ocean, he would willingly drown in it. He would do anything just to escape this endless wondering and meaningless life of counting off the days. He would do anything to be able to breathe again. Without her, he was colorblind; his world became a black and white movie that he couldn't quite wrap his head around. Because if we were honest, what was the point of a prince charming without his princess, and what's so heroic about the knight in shining armor without his damsel in distress. Without her, he meant nothing, and his life was meaningless.

Perhaps that was what it was meant to be all along, a tragedy, another pair of star-crossed lovers that bit the dust.

[gravesofheirscog]

The update ignited my imagination!

1. When we first meet the revenant, he reminds me of an annoying sales manager, because he reduces everything to a broken soul.

Are you talking about vamir? Of course, it's because of a broken soul!

Are you shouting with joy? I'm almost 100% sure that a broken soul is involved!

Are you silent? A broken soul, no less.

2. When we choose the revenant name, I was amused by the moment with the choice of Excess.

"So, what noble name will you give me?"

Ms "of course": Excess

Excess : I think I've made a contract with the god of originality and creativity

3. When can we interact with Dit? When did Carmine start interacting with him and how did it happen?We will sign a contract with him, and he will give us strength? If he is a god, can he be worshipped by performing any rituals on virgin blood (ours)? Would it be possible to build any friendship with him, or at least the relationship of a faithful cultist and a benevolent god? And why, if Deet can manipulate time so freely, is the world still not in ruins?

4. Is it possible to emotionally manipulate Vitaly to create a sense of guilt in front of us and to cultivate a hero complex?

For example, I have a scene in my head.

Background:

Miss is a fragile child who, thanks to this and her acting abilities, plays a child younger than her age, calls Vitaly her brother and constantly shows signs of affection. All in order to create a sense of innocence and naivety, which must be protected. I decided to destroy the Academy day by day, and I interacted with Dit for a long time.

Ms "runs up to Vitaly and silently embraces him"

Vitaly: Something you are some silent today?

ms "still hides his eyes and says in a lost voice": Brother, do you want to escape from here?

Vitaly "pats the lady on the head": Of course, I want this more than anything in the world. But as long as that's not possible, don't worry, soon your big brother will grow up and be strong enough to get us out of here.

MS "brooding voice": More than anything else? "hugs him even tighter and leaves with a determined look"

Ms: Sorry, I have to go. "runs away"

Vialy " thoughtfully rubs his head, but does not attach any importance to this"

The next day.

Ms "runs up to Vitaly in a painfully depressed state and, without giving him time to recover, says:" Brother, I need you to be at the edge of the forest today in 30 minutes. It's a matter of life and death, I beg you, if you don't, something bad will happen.

Vitaly "worryingly": You were bullied again by high school students, do they want you to be there?

Ms "High spirits leave smnenya with fear and determination": Vitaly, please, I can't say. "runs away in tears"

Vitaly, angry and ready to fight, comes to the edge of the forest at the right moment, but there is no one there, before he has time to think about something, he is blinded by the brightest flash of light. After his eyes begin to see something, he turns around and sees the burning ruins at the academy site and a black dot above them that is rapidly approaching him. When the dot comes close enough, Vitaly realizes that it is Ms, but now blood is flowing from his eyes, nose and ears.

Ms "sobbing, talking in a frenzy": Sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't know it would be like this. He told me he'd set you free, I didn't know ,I didn't know

, I didn't know, I didn't know. "At this moment, black tentacles break out from under the MK and drag it into the dark hole"

Vitaly shudders from the shock of everything that is happening and falls to his knees. Much later, he will add up all the hints and realize that some powerful dark entity has offered the MC a contract for his release. He realizes that he wasn't really at fault in that situation, there wasn't much he could have done. But a heartbreaking sense of guilt will forever settle in his heart.

Of course, in this imaginary scenario, there are a number of assumptions, for example, I do not know if Vitaly wants to escape, if I got at least partially into his character, if there is a forest edge in that academy, and much more. But my imagination persists in painting such a picture.

Ah, your questions always get me thinking! They’re so much fun to answer, so thank you for sending this in!

1. It’s been so much fun to read/see people’s reactions to the revenant. I totally see what you mean about a particularly bull headed salesman! I had a laugh imagining him trying to pawn off crappy used cars to people lmao. 

2. Haha, thanks! Growing up I had a pet clam named Clammy and people had similar reactions lol. 

3. Interactions with Deathe will be coming up in the next chapter, and his relationship/how he met Carmine will be explained as it affects the plot of the original novel quite a bit. You can choose to sign a contract with him, and he will give the MC powers in accordance with that contract. And yes, he is a god (elder god, to be precise) and as the story progresses you can build up a relationship with him. On the topic of rituals, there’s some in-universe debate over this but you will be able to ask him yourself in the next chapter! Also, his manipulation over time is a pretty overarching spoiler so I can’t say anything yet - sorry!

4. The MC can absolutely manipulate Vitalius/Astasus by pretending to be the meek girl Carmine used to be. There’s a few ways I plan to take this, so I hope you’ll enjoy it! Also, I feel like you really understood him well! I really enjoyed reading that!

Thank you so much for your ask!

[dalamjisung]

what you want ❋ bambam

word count: 4213

genre: angst, college!au

pairing: reader x bambam

description: people have been feeding you lies about the boy in your class. it’s time to learn the truth by yourself

Everyone knows him before he even says his name. Well, before he even says his nickname; his name is too long and too foreign for most. It starts with his clothes; all designer brands and fashion forward, with their bright colors and bedazzles. Then, the accessories come next, shinning more than the street lamps in the Main Ave. But it is mostly his attitude that confirms his identity; from his smirk and brooding eyes, to even the way he walks, going around as if he owns the place and everyone in it. He screams young and rich; and indeed he is. BamBam is probably the richest kid you know, and he is not afraid to flaunt it. 

You two have been in the same college for two years now, and in the same class for about a month, since the beginning of the semester, and lo and behold, BamBam is yet to learn your name. He is everything you despise; arrogant, stupid, and inconsiderate– or at least, you heard him to be like that. You’ve never interacted with the boy with the few exceptions of homework exchange in the class group chat, and you hope to stay that way; you aren’t interested in whatever hookup tales and travel stories he has to tell, your life is hard enough as it is, trying to balance work and school, you didn’t have to feel bad about being broke, either. 

The problem is that you were really good friends with Jackson, a Chinese exchange upperclassmen, and he, in turn, is really good friends with BamBam. You are also friends with Youngjae and Jinyoung, two great guys that happen to also be friends with BamBam. It made you cautious, if anything, since every time you want to vent about the stupidities of the Thai boy, you have to make sure that it isn’t to his friends, not wanting to put them in a very uncomfortable position– and that is really hard, considering the fact that BamBam is good friends with everyone. 

It isn’t until the day before your Literature midterm that you lose it. The college is already in pure chaos thanks to the exams, and people are being even more inconsiderate than usual, but you don’t have it in you to complain– you are too shy to say anything. Even though you are the class’ representative, it is really hard for you to be the center of attentions; it makes you incredibly uncomfortable to have all eyes on you, and you signed up for the class rep. position as a way to challenge yourself to be more out there. It had been Jackson’s idea, and he’s helping you out ever since. 

“Excuse me.”

You look up from where you are standing just to come face to face with Kim Yugyeom, aka BamBam’s best friend. 

“Yes?” You ask, voice wavering a little bit. You have to admit; this boy’s height is enough to intimidate you, now adding the beauty on top of it all is just too much. 

“You’re the class representative, right?” He asks with a wide smile.

“…yeah,” You nod slowly. What’s the catch? “What can I help you with, Yugyeom?”

“Oh, you even know my name,” He teases, throwing you a wink. “I just need help with the new topic in Psychology… I wasn’t in school last week and I’m afraid that if I don’t catch up now, I never will.”

“Oh,” Your eyes go wide. You never said anything to anyone, but you’ve also heard things about Kim Yugyeom, and they were the same, if not worse, them the things you’ve heard about BamBam. You wanted to say no, and just save yourself from the disaster that this is bound to turn into, but you can’t– this is your job, after all. “Sure. I-I can help you, I think…”

“Great!” He smiles even wider and for a second you think his cheeks are about to rip. “Would today at 5PM work? At the coffee shop in front of the dance building”

“Yeah,” You sigh, already throwing your plans to re-watch Friends out of the window. “I guess it does.”

“Thank you so much, class rep!” Yugyeom gives you two thumbs up and his eyes are almost disappearing under the big smile on his face. Suddenly, his face falls, and his eyes are not two squints anymore, but two huge brown orbs staring at you intently. “Ah! I forgot to ask! I have a friend who was also gone and is also struggling with the new topic… is it alright if he comes with?”

“Of course, who–“

Before you can ask, Yugyeom is already gone, running through the halls squealing in excitement. You sigh, tiredly, already knowing who to blame for this. 

[y/n: how could you betray me like this?]

[jackson: idk what you’re talking about]

[y/n: fess up, heathen]

[y/n: you were the one that told yugyeom to ask me for help]

[jackson: goddammit he told you, didn’t he?]

[y/n: he didn’t have to -_-]

[y/n: yugyeom doesn’t care about school, but he does care about his hyungs]

[jackson: lol what?]

[y/n: what?]

[jackson: who told you that?]

[jackson: yugyeom is the biggest nerd I’ve ever met]

[jackson: and I’m friends with YOU]

You roll your eyes at that. Sure, you like getting good grades, and sure, you might not be the most socially active person, but you wouldn’t call yourself a nerd. And you wouldn’t call Yugyeom a nerd, either… at least not from what you’ve been told. Well, I guess people can be wrong.

Shrugging it off, you try to focus on the rest of your classes, but you can’t. If you had it wrong about Yugyeom, what else could you possibly have been misinformed? Shaking it off, you start making your way to the coffee shop, hoping to get there a little earlier than Yugyeom and his friend to collect yourself and prepare your notes. 

You realize your efforts were in vain when you see the two boys through the window, with a couple of girls laughing at something they said. Your eyes didn’t miss the pile of books and notes on the table and you smile a little; maybe you were wrong about them, and maybe that is okay. Maybe the friend he brought is a nice guy, and maybe you could make new friends, and maybe– just maybe– Jackson is right; they are worth a shot. 

The door jingles when you walk in and you smile when you see Mark behind the counter.

“Y/N,” He calls loudly, and you walk over just for him to give you a cup of coffee. “What’re you doing here?”

“I came over to help Yugyeom and his friend with some work they missed when they were out last week,” You shrug, and Mark eyes go wide.

“Uh, I thought you didn’t like BamBam…” Mark goes off slowly, a little confused with the situation.

“What?” You laugh. “I said Yugyeom.”

“You’re in for a surprise,” It’s all Mark says before walking away to help another customer. 

Just as you are about to call him back, Yugyeom walks over to you and grabs your heavy bag. 

“Over here, Y/N,” He smiles and guides you to the table you saw him before. “Girls, it was nice meeting you, but now we have to get back to studying.”

“We’ll see you guys at the party Friday,” One of them says and leaves, chuckling with her friend. 

“Y/N, thank you so much for agreeing to help us out,” Yugyeom starts, as you focused on getting your books out of your bag. “This is BamBam, by the way, I’m not sure if you two ever met.”

You’re in for a surprise. 

This is it; you were going to kill Mark Tuan. 

“Nice to meet you,” BamBam smiles and sure, it’s adorable and innocent looking, but you aren’t about to be fooled. “I’m BamBam.”

“I know,” You say shortly, ignoring the hand. “I am sure everyone knows.”

BamBam’s brows go up high and his eyes get wide. 

“Sure…” He says uncomfortably. “Should we start?”

You smile awkwardly at that and tell them to open their books. The evening goes by quickly– Yugyeom and BamBam, as much as you hate saying it, are great students. They pay attention and seem to grasp the subject quickly, even taking notes and asking questions. BamBam is not as enthusiastic as Yugyeom, but you can clearly see he is trying his best. Maybe I was wrong, you sigh in defeat, looking at the dark street as you wait for them to finish a worksheet you gave them. Maybe he is not that bad… maybe people are wrong about him. 

“Finished!” BamBam announces with a bright grin. You take a quick look to find that most of his answers were correct, with the exception of a couple. He would’ve been one of the highest scores in the class had he been there on the day of the quiz. 

“Well, congrats,” You smile a bit and he mirrors you. “You got it mostly right. I don’t think you need my help any further.”

“What about me?” Yugyeom hands your the worksheet and you laugh joyously as you read it over. “You got them all right,” You chuckle, honestly happy about the progress of the two boys. “You guys are good to go.”

They do a weird handshake and then look at you again. “Thank you so much for helping us, Y/N,” Yugyeom smiles. “Now we’re all caught up with the class.”

“And to celebrate,” BamBam smirks and you can feel something change; a switch in the air, per se, and suddenly there is a slight tension looming over you guys. “Why don’t you come to the party on Friday? It’s over at Jaebeom hyung’s and–“

“I’ll pass,” Your smile is gone now, and all you can think of is the huge amount of people that would certainly be there– the bodies, the loud music, the smell… all of those together are not a good combination for you. “But thanks, BamBam.”

“Why?” He laughs, and it feels a little odd, almost as if he is laughing at you. “It’ll be fun, come on!”

“Bam, I think she’s not into that kind of stuff,” Yugyeom tried to reason. 

“Yeah, it’s really not for me,” You shrug. “But thanks, anyways.”

“No, don’t knock it ‘till you try it!” BamBam says a little too loudly and you wince, retreating into yourself. “I promise we’ll make it worth your while; you need to relax a little, Y/N!”

And without even knowing, BamBam crossed a line you aren’t sure he can uncross. Mark, hearing all of it as he got ready to leave, made his way over to your table in hopes of smoothing things down, but you were too wind up.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say to me?” You are seething, and any normal person could see it. 

“I said you need to relax,” To top it all, BamBam rolls his eyes at you, and you have to hold back from choking him unconscious. “You know, you are always talking about school and all and I just think that if you go to the party, you’ll have fun… for once!”

“I do have fun,” You mumble through gritted teeth, and you see the exact moment BamBam noticed your clenched fists. “And it might not be your concept of fun, but I enjoy it nonetheless. Not all of us shit money and fuck everything that walks; I have things I need to worry about, unlike you. You don’t even know me, what gives you the right to judge me?”

Mark gasps from behind you, and his hands are on yours, pulling you way from BamBam, but the latter holds you by the elbow with a strong grip. You can’t quite get a good look at him because of his hair, but you could feel it; BamBam was pissed and his anger was overpowering.

“That’s very hypocritical of you,” He whispers in your ear. “Class rep.”

Mark drags you out of there before you can answer, but in all honesty, you weren’t sure you could– he was right, after all. 

                                                       ------------------------

The week goes by quickly and Friday approaches as if it was a very important day– and it could be, if you consider movie night with Jackson and Jinyoung a special occasion that occurs every week. What you get, though, when you arrive at their place, is not what you are expecting. 

Jackson looks out of the ordinary good; he has a nice shirt on and his hair is sleeked back. Jinyoung is sitting on the couch looking like he always does, yet still looking incredible. They were clearly waiting for you, since you barely have time to put the snack bag down before your friends are pushing you out the door and inside a taxi. You squeeze in the back, confused and slightly amused, as you hear Jackson spit out the final address. 

“Isn’t that Jaebeom’s address?” You mutter out loud, and just as you connect the dots, the car is moving. “Guys, no.”

“Yes.” They say in unison. 

“Enough is enough, Y/N,” Jackson states. “We’ve always let you be because we know you get really anxious about parties and new people, but Mark told us what happened a few days ago. Look, it was not right for BamBam to just tell you all of that, he doesn’t know half of your story, but you need to stop this.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You live your life studying and working– which is great! Don’t get us wrong, we’re not saying for you to drop all of your responsibilities and party all the time,” Jinyoung shrugs. “But you are 21… You are living your prime days doing homework. That’s not living. We’ve always been here for you, and we will always be here for you, life goes beyond school. You have to admit, BamBam was right– it’s time to have fun.”

You groan, pained to hear those words. “I know he was right,” You mumble, looking out of the window. “I know I’m a hypocritical bitch. Anything else you want to rub in my face, Jinyoung?”

“That’s not what I meant at all,” He gasps. “What the hell did BamBam say to you?”

You shake your head in disappointment. Not at the boys; they had a point. You really needed to live beyond your dorm walls and have some fun, as much as you hated hearing that; it hurt on a level that you never wanted to reach. You were disappointed in yourself. It wasn’t always like this, and the fact that you allowed yourself to fall back into this routine killed you. You weren’t happy, you knew that, but you were content, and for a second, that seemed better than being vulnerable. 

“Just some stuff,” You finally answer. “He wasn’t wrong, though.”

“But apparently we were,” Jackson sighs, worried eyes set on you. He could read you like a book. “I’m sorry, Y/N, we don’t know the full picture, and we thought this would be a good idea but–”

Well isn’t this ironic?

“We can go back if you want?” Jinyoung frowns, ready to tell the driver to go back. He could see the hurt in your face, and it killed him to see you like this. They hated that you were always cooped up in your room on the weekends, complaining about your loud neighbors and watching dramas online, but seeing you hurt is way worse. “We don’t want you to change, love; we just want to show you something new.”

You nod slowly. “Sure,” You say, taking a deep breath. “I need to go to that party, anyways…”

“You do?!” They look at each other incredulously. 

“Yeah,” You sigh, closing your eyes and enjoying the cold feeling of the glass window on your forehead. “I need to apologize to someone.”

                                                     ------------------------

The events that follow were expected. Jinyoung is whisked away by an excited Yugyeom, whom in return receives a slap to the head. Jackson lasts a little longer with you; holding your hand in a comforting way whenever he noticed you were getting too overwhelmed. Mark and Youngjae join you two, surprised and happy with your presence. They’ve been doing this for so long, you think. And I never knew. Your friends never talked about parties with you, and you never wondered why until today.

“We never wanted to make you uncomfortable,” Youngjae explains once you ask. “We party a lot, to be honest, and we always wanted you to come, but you made it very clear you hate things like this so…”

Your face falls at that. They always stayed in whenever you asked, and you never even gave them the chance to ask you to come out. You felt like the worst friend in the world. 

“I’m sorry,” You say and his eyes go wide. “Next time I promise I’ll come with. I want to have fun with you guys, too.”

“Ya, seriously?” Youngjae smiles wide, surprised. “You can’t take it back!”

“I won’t!” You promise, laughing with your friend. “I’m sorry I’ve been a bad friend, Youngjae.”

“You were never a bad friend, Y/N,” He smiles. “We understand. Movie nights are fun in a different way; they are comfortable and cozy, and if that’s what you needed, we were happy to provide. But sometimes you need some excitement, and that’s what parties are for… we didn’t want to pressure you, so we never said anything. We just waited until you were ready– and I guess you are now.”

You nod, hugging him tight, before wandering off alone, in search of the person you went there to see. You end up in the kitchen, and you think that maybe fetching yourself a beer won’t hurt too much. 

“Here,” You hear someone say from behind you, and your cheeks brighten once you realize you were noticeably lost. “You’re looking for beer, right?”

“Ah,” You turn around and smile. “Yes. Thanks, Yugyeom.”

“Didn’t think I’d see you here after what happened in the coffee shop,” He deadpans, and you can feel it once again. The tension. “You know, I always thought you were pretty cool, Y/N. The hyungs talk about you a lot, and I always saw you as this funny person, even though you don’t talk much.”

You don’t say anything. You know exactly where this is going and you allow it; you deserve it.

“I never pegged you as a judgmental person,” He chuckles. “Mainly because everyone judges you. I don’t know, I thought you’d be all that Jackson hyung told me… but I was wrong. I guess we really don’t know you, after all.”

“That’s not fair,” You chuckle. “I get what you’re saying, and I’m sorry. This is what I came here to do; apologize. But what you’re doing is not fair.”

“How so?” He smiles a bit. 

“I judged unfairly, and for that I apologize,” You say, voice seeping honesty. “But you’re doing the exact same. I had a reason to react the way I did, the same way BamBam had a reason to react the way he did. You’re taking sides, Yugyeom.” “Well, of course I am,” He shrugs. “BamBam is my best friend.”

You laugh at that– a full blown laugh, with your head back and happy giggles in the end. “That does make sense. I am happy he has someone like you, Yugyeom.”

And with those words, the bright smiled boy you met before was back. “Thanks, Y/N. Now, if you must know, BamBam is in the back porch. Things got a little too much for him in here, so he went there to get some air.”

“Thanks Yugy,” You say and before you can leave, he grabs your hand.

“Once you get sorted out with BamBam,” He chuckles. “Can we be friends? Jackson hyung told me some hilarious stories about you, and I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now…”

“Of course we can,” You smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you, too.”

“Good or bad?” He shouts, surprising you. “Say good, please.”

“Bye Yugyeom!”

Finding the back porch was harder than you thought, but you manage. You see his jacket before you see him, and in your defense, you couldn’t really not see the bedazzled black jacket on the ground. BamBam is right next to it, though, laying down on the wooden floor, and you panic. Is he alright? Did he drink too much? What–

“Whoever you are,” He says, and his voice is nothing but tired. “Either come here, or leave.”

“Oh, sorry,” You mumble, and his head snaps in your direction. “Do you mind chatting for a bit?”

“Why?” He chuckles humorlessly. “So you can tell me all the things I did wrong? I don’t think so, sweetheart, now why don’t you–“

“I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, you said that before now please–“

“No,” You stand your ground, even though you felt as if your heart was about to beat out of your chest. “I’m really sorry, BamBam. I shouldn’t have believed all of those things people told me; I was stupid and naive. And I shouldn’t have snapped at you back in the coffee shop, but I just thought that–“

“That I was a complete idiot with no purpose in life,” He says harshly. “Sounds about right?”

“Y-Yeah, but–“

“But you realized you were wrong and now you want to apologize so we can be friends.”

“How’d you know?” You ask, voice wavering more than you’d like to admit.

“You’re not the first,” He sighs, frowning. “It seems like there is always a problem with me. And don’t try to deny it– I can see you shaking your head.”

“Well,” You start carefully. “You do come off as a little bit… spoiled.”

BamBam laughs and pats the empty space next to him. Just as you sit down, you hear him talking slowly, as if he, too, needed to process it all. 

“People think I’m this billionaire’s son that doesn’t care about anything but my reputation,” He starts. “But they don’t know half of it. I skip class, I party a lot, so that means I don’t care about school, right?”

“I mean–“

“I’m at the top of the Dean’s list with a full scholarship,” BamBam says curtly, his voice as sharp as a knife. “And if I’m not wrong, you are right under me.”

To say that you were surprised was an understatement. 

“But how do you carry the scholarship when you are barely even on campus?” You ask.

“Who said that? Because the only time I can recall missing class was last week, when I had a business meeting, and my first semester during Freshman year, when I had to fly home for my brother’s wedding.” As BamBam explained things to you, you couldn’t help but notice his hands, fidgeting with each other; is he nervous? 

“The truth is, I’ve noticed you for a while now,” He mumbles with a shy smile, his cheeks blushing, and you swear you’ve never seen such an adorable man before. “People always assume the wrong thing about you, too, so I thought that– I don’t know, I thought that you’d get me. Jackson hyung and Jinyoung hyung always tell me these great things about you, and how you never back down even when you’re struggling and I thought that maybe we could be friends… or something more.”

What?

“But then you’ve never even looked at me,” The sadness you felt from his voice was killing you. “You barely even talked to me, even when you had to talk to everyone for that one field trip… I have to admit, I was kind of hurt. The girl I was crushing on hated my guts, and I didn’t even know why.”

“BamBam,” You gasp, reaching to touch his arm, but he is quick to evade your hand. When his eyes met yours, you swear you were about to break down; the vulnerability, the hurt, the anger. You could see everything. “I’m so sorry.”

“Well, it’s too late now,” He smiles a tight closed-lip smile and you feel your heart breaking. “I’m tired of stuck up people trying to prove they are better then me. I run my own business, that is, by the way, going really well. I have amazing grades in school. I have friends that I can count as if they were my own family. I don’t need anything else.”

“You might not need it,” You say as he gets up. “But you want it. I know you do.”

“What I want clearly doesn’t matter,” He scoffs, walking to the door. “I’m going inside. You should go soon; I know you hate crowded places.”

You feel a weight on your shoulders, and then he’s gone.

When Jinyoung finds you, about an hour later, you were still crying. 

When Jinyoung takes you home, with promises of a better tomorrow, you are still wearing BamBam’s jacket. 

And when Jinyoung finally leaves, worried and defeated, you are already asleep, hand clutching the jacket that you refused to leave behind.

--------------------------------------------------

aaaahhh my first true angst! it felt weird to leave it like that, so I will probably write a part 2! what do you all think? part 2 or nah? Let me know! Love you all and thanks for the endless support <3

[dylinski]

Magnetism

Warnings: SMUT! bondage (but barely), language, violence, kind of dom tommy (but y/n is a brat so it doesnt last long), angst (obviously)

Relationships: Thomas/Reader

Word Count: 7.5K

Author: @dylinski​

A/N: Here’s my fic for day 4 of tomuary!!!! if i get them finished, i plan on posting two more but we’ll see how that goes. lol hope ya’ll enjoy and let me know what you think please. i’m really unsure about writing smut and idk if this is any good, so if i shouldn’t write anymore it would be nice to know. lol

There’s something about running for your life and fighting against all odds to survive that make a person reevaluate their life, but with Y/N, that’s not the case. Being in the scorch with a bunch of boys wasn’t much different from the glade, so what was there to consider? She knew who her friends and her enemies were and that’s all she needed to know in order to survive in this world. If Thomas had just listened to her when she said not to trust Teresa, more of them would be alive, but him not believing anything Y/N says is to be expected. Since the moment he came up and out of the box, something repellant between them switched on. The only proper way to describe it is when you try to force two poles of a magnet together with the same polar direction.

Fighting their way out of the maze, through the scorch, and now in this abandoned town lets a person see a lot of death and Y/N was tired of it. If that meant trying to convince Thomas that running around and attacking WCKD at random to find Minho, risking other’s lives, was a bad idea then she was willing to take all the blame. They were so close to paradise and they had saved so many souls already. At least Vince agreed, having one person on her side is nice.

There was another meeting, discussing all the usual topics, but Thomas seemed more pissed off than usual, which is saying something as of late. He’s been nothing but a pissy bitch since the search for his raven-haired friend had turned sour and unwilling. The meeting was held in a moderate-sized room, big enough to hold the handful of people permitted. Thomas was leaning on both hands over a table with Newt at his hip, what a surprise. They were combing over a map with Vince and Jorge, arguing about a last city or something. Y/N was sitting in the corner, rolling her eyes at practically every other word, a sad image of men and boys arguing over nonsense around the circular table. 

Newt would look up every once in a while and give her a sympathetic smile to let her know she wasn’t forgotten in the exchange of emotions and words. She liked Newt, he had always been kind to her when most of the other boys treated her like she was fragile and delicate in the maze. He never doubted her or underestimated her abilities despite what was between her legs, well, until that little shit popped up and out of the ground. Motherfucking Thomas, the angel, the savior, the one who will lead us to paradise. Yeah right, more like the one who will lead everyone to their preventable deaths.

“Look! He was there, okay? I know it. Minho was there!” The vein in Thomas’ neck was protruding and defined from the strain he was putting on his words. He was desperate. “We grabbed the wrong container!”

“Thomas, there was a 50/50 chance and we made a choice of which one to grab. Not to mention the odds of him being in either train car, to begin with, were small.” Vince was calm and collected, he always managed to keep a cool head.

“Yeah, but he was there! If I had just..” Thomas was quieter now, but no less desperate.

“You didn’t pick the wrong one, Mate. We saved at least 100 people from WCKD today. I wouldn’t call that a failure. We didn’t find Minho, but I have faith we will. He’s still out there, I know it.” Newt looked up at Y/N when he finished, and she couldn’t help to give a forced smile. Leave it to him to be the voice of reason, but also the one to egg on the bumbling buffoon everyone seems to eagerly place their faith in.

“Newt, I get that, but he was there, he was right there! If we hadn’t been so pressed for time I could have-”

Y/N jumped up, utterly pissed at this point and tired of hearing these idiots run round and round in the same circles. “You could have what, Thomas? You could have picked the ‘right’ container? Hmm? Why don’t you go tell that to Sonya? Or Aris? I’m sure they’d love to hear that you saving their lives, along with everyone else in that box, wasn’t your goal and you’d gladly trade them for the single life of Minho.”

Everyone in the room fell silent and it was filled with the light of the moon shining through the missing part of the ceiling. The flames from the lanterns danced on everyone’s shocked faces. Y/N was never one to prance around the daisies when it came to stating the obvious. Thomas looked almost ashamed and it was honestly annoying. She was tired of his pitiful ’I didn’t ask for this’ routine.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Despite the guilt that raged in his stomach, he used it to fuel his anger towards Y/N, which was to be expected. He took most of his negative emotions out on her, his own personal punching bag, but he could never land any punches because she honestly couldn’t care less. She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips, shooting knives at him and his nostrils flared under her eyes. An unknowing battle of spiteful gazes between them.

“Well, as entertaining as it is to watch you two practically have hate-sex with each other, we need to discuss our options.” Jorge obviously chose his words to jolt the two out of their staring contest and it worked. They both made faces like they had tasted something sour, scrunching their noses at the idea of actually wanting each other. Well, I mean, it’s not the first time Y/N had thought of it, but just because he had the body that could rival a god doesn’t mean she was ignorant of his pea-sized brain.

“There’s nothing to discuss. We’re not risking anyone’s lives to go to the last city, if it’s even real.” Y/N couldn’t help but sights the relief of Vince seeing reason.

“I’ve heard things over the years, that it was a last resort for WCKD, their place of operations. I’ve never managed to make it that far north, but it’s one of the safe heavens that were put into place when things went to shit.” Y/N huffed in annoyance, thanks, Jorge. Great job at giving the little shit ideas.

“Look, we could make it there with a small team in a week and then be back with Minho in no time.”

“No, Thomas. I’m not risking any more lives to save one person. This is a suicide mission. If it’s anything Jorge says it is, the city will be a fortress. Not to mention the road to get there, riddled with the infected. We don’t have the people or the resources to take on a fight like that.” Vince was tired of arguing with him, so he was standing his ground and that would be the end of it. Thomas may have been the leader in the glade and the scorch, but here he was allowed the privilege to have a say by Vince.

“I don’t need an army, just two or three-”

“Thomas, no!” Vince was done with these petty arguments and put his foot down. “The ship is almost done. We’ll be ready to sail in less than a week. There are casualties in war, and in this world, the life of one doesn’t out way the lives of the many. We’re not going and that’s final.”

Thomas grunted and threw his arms up in rebellion, stomping off to brood somewhere by himself. 

Y/N couldn’t help the small smile of satisfaction that crept onto her face from seeing him so pissed off. She strode over to where Newt was standing and crossed her arms, leaning her back against the table to face him.

“He’s hurting you know? He blames himself. He blames himself for everything honestly.” The smile melted away just as easily as it appeared. There goes Newt, always defending his puppy.

“He should! I told him not to trust Teresa!” Newt let a small shudder roll over his body at her name and Y/N couldn’t help but feel empathy and guilt for mentioning it.

“We all trusted her, except for you, of course. You never let us forget it, but we had no reason not to. She helped us, she helped Thomas. Maybe you were just jeal-”

“For the love of God, Newt, if you say I was jealous, I’ll break your other leg.” He chuckled at the threat, knowing it was empty and mostly a joke. It made her smile a bit, seeing him smile and laugh. He was always like a brother to her and she missed seeing him so happy. A lot of them haven’t been able to feel that way for a while now. Not since Thomas showed up and shucked it all up, anyway. 

“He understands why you hate him.” Y/N was caught off guard, lost in her own head when Newt broke through.

“I don’t hate him, I just…” There wasn’t really a word for it. It was like Thomas was made specifically to boil the blood in her veins and ignite a fire in her stomach that was begging to rage. He knew exactly how to get under her skin and press her buttons, and most of the time he wasn’t even trying.

“You two are a lot alike actually.” Newt let out a chuckle and ignored the hard stare directed at him. “You’re both stubborn as bulls, reckless too. Jumping into things without thinking clearly. You’re guided by emotion rather than logic, but there’s nothing wrong with that.” He turned his head to face his friend and curled up the corner of his lip. “Go get some sleep, we’ve all had a long day.” Newt patted her shoulder and limped off, leaving her alone in the room that now felt huge.

Y/N wasn’t really that tired, so she decided to go around to her favorite spot by the water that she found when they first arrived. The way the moonlight danced on the water in the darkness created the illusion of twinkling lights and reminded her of looking up into the sky in the glade. She hopped down from the ledge onto the sand and trotted through the thick and moist beach towards the large rock that always managed to be warm despite the sun. When it finally came into view, she halted in her tracks.

Of course, Thomas would fucking be there, laying on her rock in her secret spot. A low grumble resonates in her chest as she clenched her fist and stomped towards him. He heard and sat up hazily, having been lost in the limbo of sleep and consciousness.

“What? Who’s...oh. It’s you.” He laid back down, resting his head on his arms that were raised over his head.

“That’s my spot.” Y/N spoke through gritted teeth and clenched fists, trying not to punch him.

He lifted his head slightly and opened one eye, looking Y/N over and then let his head fall back down. “I don’t see your name on it.”

Y/N’s jaw went slack as she let out a small whine of protest, which seemed to put a shit-eating grin on Thomas’ face. Despite being pissed as hell, she couldn’t deny that his smile, with the crescent eyes and the way the moon illuminated his face, was...beautiful. No. No no no no. She’s mad and he’s an annoying little shit that gets everybody hurt or killed. Okay, good. She couldn’t stand the thought of actually being attracted to him.

“You know, Newt says-” Thomas was cut off by her.

“Newt says a lot of things.” Despite being so close to him, Y/N still couldn’t help but feel the rise of annoyance as she rolled her eyes.

Thomas sat up on his elbows and looked over at Y/N. The way he looked at her, and the light of the night with the waves crashing, for some reason it made her feel vulnerable. She moved her arms that were crossed on her chest down to wrap around her stomach. Thomas tilted his head in the most quizzical of ways like he was trying to decipher her. She was a puzzle he couldn’t quite solve, but so terribly wanted to. 

Tired of being gawked at, Y/N took the few steps between them and leaned against the large boulder, her back mostly facing Thomas. She looked up to the sky that was mostly black and empty and let out a sad sigh. She missed the stars, but since they left the maze they seemed to have all died out.

“I know, I miss them too.” Y/N shot a look over her shoulder at Thomas who was looking up. She couldn’t help but linger her gaze on him, he looked so...broken. He must have felt her stare because the muscles in his arms flexed under his weight as he shifted uncomfortably. His jaw clenched, but he still kept looking up, searching for something they both knew he’d never find.

“Why do you want to save Minho so bad?” He broke his lock on the sky and looked at her like it was the stupidest of questions, which it was. “I mean, I know why, but he’s probably dead. We haven’t heard anything about him in months and-”

“He’s alive.” Thomas laid himself back down flat against the rock. “I know it, I can feel it in my gut.” He spoke like it was the truth, something factual rather than the simple feeling that it really was.

“Yeah, but what if he’s not? Are you willing to risk our lives, your life, for someone who may not even be alive?”

He sat up fully and his eyes were dark and full of emotions she couldn’t quite decode. His posture changed to confidence and purpose. “Minho would do it for me.” He looked out to the ocean and crossed his legs, letting his elbows rest on them, placing his cheeks between his hands.

Y/N couldn’t argue with him there. She had known Minho longer than Thomas, and if there was one thing he’d never do, it would be leaving a friend behind. Thomas scooted over and patted the hard surface next to him. She examined the spot and looked up to him, questioningly. He gave her a small smile and she climbed up next to him. There was silence between them, not having much to say, as they shared the space and took in the sea and its illusion of stars.

“I’m going,” Thomas spoke softly as he continued to stare out at the water. They could hear the waves lapping against the stone as his words echoed. Y/N wasn’t entirely sure what he meant. Was he going now? Going to sleep? He looked up and his lips turned down, eyes full of sadness and it hit her. He was going to the last city, alone.

“What!? You can't go! Did you not hear Vince? It’s a suicide mission!” Y/N surprised both of them at her exasperation to get Thomas to stay. I mean, sure she didn’t like the guy, but it’s not like she wanted him dead.

He looked at her and pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. “I don’t care. I have to at least try.” The look in his eyes was pitiful and unrelenting. The decision was made, and once he made his mind up on something, there was no use arguing with him.

“If you want to die, that’s fine, I won’t be a part of it.” Y/N hopped down from the rock and started to walk away hurriedly. “But I’m telling Vince.” 

Thomas’ eyes grew wide and he jumped from the rock and chased after her. “No! You can't say anything!” He grabbed her arm and she reactively spun around, landing a solid punch in his gut. Thomas grabbed his stomach and took a step back, grunting in pain. She rolled her eyes and turned to continue walking when Thomas ran up behind her and tackled her to the ground.

“What the fuck, Thomas!?” She struggled but managed to spin around, her back to the sand and Thomas hovering over top her, caging her in with his arms as they held her wrists down over her head.

“I can't let you tell anyone before I leave!” His hot breaths were huffing into her face, a contrast to the cold breeze that had chilled the air.

Y/N looked up at him in frustration and confusion, but mostly at herself. Her eyes flitted down to his lips for the slightest of seconds, but she had to throw those thoughts from her mind. Sorry, Thomas. She slammed her head up into the boy’s nose and he let out a shout as he flew back, grabbing his face and releasing his grip on her arms. She wiggled out from under him and stood up to keep going, but a hand wrapped around her ankle and she face-planted into the hard earth and let out a groan, rubbing the sore spot on her head.

Thomas climbed up on top of her, straddling her waist from behind. He held her wrists to her side this time, avoiding the possibility of her bucking her head back and hitting him in the face again. She writhed underneath him and fought as best she could, but he was stronger than her. It didn’t help that he had the advantage either.

“Are you jacked!? Let me go you little shuckface!” She let out screeches and shouts as she struggled, but it was no use. She gave up and relaxed under him. “Well, you can't hold me down forever! What’s your plan here slinthead?”

Thomas didn’t reply, obviously trying to make this shit up as he went along. He pinned her arms behind her back and stood up, making a grunting noise as he pulled her up with him. “Oh, now he’s the quiet brooding type. Couldn’t get you to shut up for the life of me in the glade, but now you got nothing to say?”

“Shut up.” He grunted through his teeth as he pushed Y/N forward a bit, jerking her around as they walked. He still had her arm pinned behind her back and it was getting kind of painful now.

“Where are you taking me? Are you gonna kill me? Didn’t think you’d have the balls. Well, actually with all the people you’ve killed over the last year, it probably won’t be that hard.” Thomas threw Y/N up against the wall of one of the buildings as they passed through the camp and her head bounced off, now throbbing in two places. She slammed her eyes shut and grabbed the back of her skull as Thomas slammed his hands into the wall on either side of her face. His body was pressing into hers and she could feel every muscle tense as he gritted his teeth and flared his nostrils.

Their faces were inches apart as he growled at her. “I’m getting fucking tired of you reminding me how many mistakes I’ve made!” She has seen him angry like this before, and it was intense, but to have it directed at her, if she was less of a stubborn mule, she probably would have klunked her pants. Thomas was like a raging sea when he was truly angry, everything in his path swallowed up and demolished. He had so much anger, so much hate towards WCKD and himself that when he reached a tipping point it would all spill out like an erupting volcano, and Y/N just happened to be in his path.

“You walk around, talking shit about me to everyone and I can’t take it anymore! You think I don’t carry those people with me, that I don’t know the lives I’ve cost!? I didn’t want any of this! I never asked for it. I didn’t want to be the leader! That’s Minho’s job, but for some God-forsaken reason, everyone but you thinks I’m some savior. I just want to save my friends! I just want to get as far from WCKD and this fucking place as I can! The last thing I need is you reminding me how royally I’ve screwed up every five seconds!” He pulled her off the wall, she was mostly shell shocked from his burst of fury. He gripped her bicep tight enough to leave a bruise as he guided her further through the camp. “But first, I’m getting Minho.”

They traveled the rest of the way in silence which was preferred by Thomas since he was trying not to wake up anyone anyways. They made it to the small building that Thomas had claimed as his own and he shut the door behind them. He pushed Y/N down forcefully on his excuse for a bed and she sat there, still and silent. Thomas paced and ran his fingers through his hair as his mind raced a million miles a minute.

Y/N gulped and wasn’t entirely sure what to say to keep him from exploding again. It wasn’t that she feared he would hurt her, she knew he wouldn’t, but she feared to see him like this. Seeing him like a rabid dog biting at the ankles of anyone who caught his eye. Thomas grabbed a shirt from the floor and ripped off a piece and grabbed her arm, pulling her up the bed.

“Are you serious? You’re tying me up?” Thomas glared at her and then proceeded to tie her wrist to the post of the bed. “Kinky.” Her words were meant to antagonize him, and it worked as he visibly clenched his jaw in vexation. He got up and started to walk around the room when Y/N cleared her throat and waved her hand at Thomas. “Well you’re not very bright, are you?” He looked at her with bewilderment and she rolled her eyes. “My other hand. What’s to stop me from untying your sad excuse for a knot?” Thomas growled under his breath, mostly at himself for not thinking about that possibility. He ripped off another strip of cloth and tied her other wrist to the opposite bedpost.

She wasn’t entirely sure why she was helping him, but she was starting to find this entertaining. Seeing him sputter around in an attempt to get himself killed and digging himself into a deeper hole. Y/N watched him with enjoyment as she crossed her ankles and relaxed against the headboard. He was scurrying around the room like a squirrel, trying to find things and stuffing them into a bag.

“So you’re just gonna leave me tied up when you leave until someone finds me, huh?” Thomas looked over his shoulder and huffed as he continued to rummage through his belongings. “Don’t forget your jacket, might get a little chilly.” He stood up from where he was squatting and threw his bag down hard on the ground and curled in his lips with impatience.

“Keep talking and I’ll gag you!” 

“Ooo, promise?” Thomas shot daggers as he glinted his eyes and growled. Y/N just smiled and wiggled her head in triumph. “If you wanted to get me into bed, all you had to do was ask.” Thomas rolled his eyes and turned to keep packing. She was getting bored of the silence and made an attempt to rile him up again.

 “Some of the boys in the glade used to talk, you know?” Thomas ignored her as she rambled on. “Apparently you weren’t very quiet when you used to, you know?” Thomas turned to her with curiosity. Since her hands were, tied she couldn’t make the motion, so she thrust her hips up twice, but he got the idea. His eyes went wide and he froze in place. Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at his discomfort. “I overheard Jeff telling Zart about how they accidentally saw you in the woods rubbing one out and when you came you said my na-”

“SHUT UP!” Thomas grabbed what was left of the shirt from the end of the bed and shoved it into Y/N’s mouth. She just laughed through the fabric, her enjoyment muted. His cheeks were so pink that they looked like they were hot to the touch and it was almost adorable how flustered and embarrassed he looked. He was sitting on the side of the bed, his back mostly facing Y/N and his head hanging low in shame.

Finally, his cheeks turned from pink to red and he looked to her as he stood. “Well, what do you expect with you prancing around the glade in those short shorts and spaghetti-strap shirts!?” Y/N’s face went from amused to resentful. She tried defending herself through the cloth but all that came out was stifled noise. Thomas threw his arms up and huffed in annoyance, then grabbed the shirt from her mouth.

“I said, you fucking misogynist, that it was fucking hot out while I was working, unlike you who avoided his duties like the plague! Besides, how is it fair for you to fucking say shit like that about me when you paraded yourself around in those pants that clung to your ass while you were shirtless? Do you think I liked staring at your abs as sweat rolled down them?” Both of them were stunned into silence, Y/N realizing what she said and Thomas just amazed that she even thought about him like that. 

They both stared at each other, Y/N turning flushed and Thomas trying to hold back his smile. “Shut up!” She pushed her leg out to the side as she kicked him as hard as she could in the leg. He shouted at the impact and bent over to grab the spot that now throbbed.

“You’re such a violent little shit!” He hollered at her, referring to their brawl earlier.

“Yeah? Imagine me in bed.” Her words were sultry and aimed at being intimidating, but Thomas just smiled the most devilish grin. 

“I already have.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and blushed as she turned her head against her shoulder in the opposite direction of Thomas in protest. After a moment she looked back since he was so quiet and he was still standing there, looking at her with hunger and gnawing on his bottom lip. She narrowed her eyes and couldn’t help but look down and noticed the bulge in his pants. Her eyes went wide and she gasped as she went to kick him again. He yelped and swatted her foot away. “What the fuck, Thomas?”

“What!? You’re the one who said to imagine you in bed!”

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re such a whore!” Thomas had a smile of amusement at being called a whore like it was a funny joke. Y/N just huffed and turned her eyes up in annoyance. 

“C’mon, you haven’t thought about me?” Thomas sat on the edge of the bed, keeping distance between them in case she wanted to kick or headbutt him again.

“God no!” Her words were firm and strong, but she was betrayed by her face. His lips went dry at the lie and she licked them unknowingly as her eyes darted to his. She blushed and looked away quickly to avoid any further incrimination, but Thomas grabbed her chin and turned her back to face him. His face was so close to hers now, them only needing to whisper to communicate.

“Tell me, what did you imagine? Do you think about my thick cock while you had your fingers inside yourself?” She shuddered at his words and her mouth was like a desert, begging for water. Her lips were parted and she couldn’t gain control of her tongue as she searched his eyes, full of need and hidden desire. He licked her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue and a chill coursed through her. He pulled away and her face followed, but was she restrained by the ties on her wrists. She let out a small whine at the loss of his mouth. Thomas bit his lip and chuckled. “If that’s how your lips taste, I bet the rest of you tastes just as amazing.” His hand rested on her bare calf and trailed its way up her leg until it reached her thigh where the hem of her shorts began.

Her hot, panting breaths were mixed with his, their lips nearly touching. She wanted desperately to close the minuscule distance between them, but couldn’t make her body move, frozen under his touch. Thomas went in, but just before their lips connected he tilted his head and collided his mouth with her neck. She let out a gasp at the sudden feeling of his warm lips against her chilled flesh. He kissed and sucked at the spot just below her jaw as she leaned back, giving him more access. He worked his way down to the pulse in her neck and bit down, then licked over it to alleviate the red marks. The mix of pain and pleasure, hot and cold, had her rubbing her thighs together in search of friction. Y/N let out a small moan into Thomas’s ear and his hand made its way further up her leg. He continued to lick and nip at her neck, leaving marks and right before his hand reached her core he pulled away.

Y/N let out a whine of protest at the loss of his warmth as he stood up and started to walk away. She was finally able to find her voice, but just barely. She croaked out in a pant, “You can’t just do that.”

“Can’t I?” A smile crossed his lips and the asshole had the nerve to wink. She pouted and huffed in retaliation and Thomas was now standing at the end of the bed, his legs touching the mattress, directly vertical to her. “I’m not going to just give you what you want. You have to work for it, Princess.” Y/N’s eyes went wide, seeing him like this, so domineering. The last thing she ever expected was for him to be authoritative in bed, let alone letting herself be subdued by him.

Thomas was such an arrogant little shit, he got into crevices that she didn’t even know she had. Working his way through her walls and made her squirm. She tugged at the cloth around her wrists, digging into her flesh and creating a pleasurable sting, wishing she could jump on him. She’s not entirely sure if her desire is to jump his bones or beat his ass though. He laughs and leans over her feet, placing his hands on the mattress. “Come on, baby girl, beg.” He took his time saying the last word, allowing the ‘g’ to bounce off his tongue.

“I don’t fucking beg!” Y/N spit at Thomas and the wet hit his chin. He grinned and stood up as he wiped it from his face with his finger, then placed it in his mouth. He sucked on it and let it out with a pop. Even if her tongue wouldn’t beg, her eyes sure did. “Fucking Christ…” she mumbled under her breath, but he still heard and chuckled.

Thomas places his hands on her ankles and slowly slid them up the length of her legs, maintaining eye contact. He placed his knees on the bed and was straddling the lower part of her body. When his fingers reached the waist of her pants, he curled his fingers into the band and looked her in the eyes. His digits against her flesh were thrilling and like fire coursing to her core. He searched her eyes for protest, but Y/N bit her lip and gave him the slightest nod. He smirked and looked down as he dragged the clothing off her hips. The tug pulled her down slightly, now resting on her tailbone instead of her ass. He pulled her shorts all the way off with her shoes and let them drop to the floor.

Y/N crossed her legs, feeling vulnerable, but Thomas leaned in and forced them apart by her knees. She dragged her legs up, placing her feet flat on the bed as Thomas’ fingers trailed up her thighs, leaving a trail of fire. He leaned down, his heat breaths against the inside of her legs. He kissed and licked at the warm skin and left bruising marks as he sucked into it. His mouth made its way up painfully slow to her sex when he blew cold air across it. A shiver radiated up her spine and left her feeling dizzy at the mix of everything.

Thomas kept licking and sucking everywhere around her core, the place where she so desperately wanted him to be. Her hips bucked up uncontrollably whenever he got agonizingly close, but he would always move away. “Thomas..” His name was breathy and needy, a plea for him to stop being such a tease. He moaned at the sound of his name on her lips and it reverberated through her skin as he continued to kiss and she felt it in her core. The stimulation causing her to whine. 

“Tell me what you want, Princess.” His words vibrated against her flesh as he refused to release his lips. 

Y/N let out a couple hearty breaths when she finally panted out, “Fuck me with your tongue, you prick!”

Thomas dove into her core without hesitation and the sound that came from her was somewhere between a screech and a gasp. His tongue lapped up around her entrance, licking up all the wetness he caused. He hummed at the taste and it sent shivers through her body and down to her toes. “God, you’re so fucking wet.” He licked a stripe up to her clit and clamped his lips around the nub as he sucked hard. The pressure around it was inciting, but then he started to flick his tongue across the bundle of nerves. The two sensations mixing together sent a warm thrill down to her bones as her back arched up slightly. 

The noises coming from Y/N were a mix of moans and gasps as his tongue worked on her fervently. He let go of her clit and replaced it with the pad of his finger, rubbing circles into it. He traced the ring of her entrance with the tip of his tongue until her hips bucked up and he penetrated, just like she had said she wanted him to. He thrust his tongue in and out, drinking up the dampness she was producing for him. “So wet. Taste’s so good.” The words vibrated through her core and a deep long moan was released. 

“Fi..fingers.” She struggled to get the word out, but Thomas knew what she needed. He placed his mouth around her nub again, sucking and flicking while his finger traced the place his tongue had been. He looked up at her through his eyelashes and watched as she writhed under his torment. She looked down at him and whined, so he gave in and pushed a finger inside her. He slowly pumped it in and out as she let out soundless gasps. He wiggled his finger, stretching her out and slid a second one in. He pumped as he sucked at her clit and her moans were constant now. Her body, unable to keep still, was beyond her control and fully reacting to everything that Thomas was doing.

He scissored his digits, widening her for his cock. “Are you gonna come on my fingers, baby?”

“Mhmmm” That was all Y/N could manage with all the sensations she was feeling. That fire building in her stomach was overflowing and begging to spill out. She was such a wreck that she felt like she was being torn apart. Thomas curled his fingers and pumped them vigorously as he kept his mouth to her bundle of nerves and hit that spot that triggered everything. His digits brushed across it once, twice, three times, and then the coil broke.

Thomas watched as Y/N let out a silent scream and threw her head back. He smiled at his victory and hummed around her clit, causing her body to spasm through her orgasm. He licked around his fingers, taking in all she had to offer. Pulling his fingers from her, she went limp on the bed, panting with her eyes shut and her wrists red from tugging at the ties around them. He licked his digits, eating up everything he could and couldn’t help but be smug at how well he unraveled her. “Oh, I’m not done with you yet babygirl. If I made you come that good on my fingers, I can’t wait to see you on my cock.” 

Thomas started to rub the all too obvious tenting in his pants and Y/N opened her eyes, panting, and looked at him in awe. He pulled off his shirt and, dear God those abs and his chest. He wasn’t chiseled or defined, but you could still see the muscles easily. There was a patch of hair between his pecs that spread down and across to his nipples that were hard pebbles. Y/N licked her lips as she thought about running her tongue across them. Her eyes found the thick brush of hair just below his belly button that led down to the band of his pants that hung low on his hips, showing off the ‘v’ that disappeared into his waistband. 

Y/N gulped as she rubbed her thighs together, becoming aroused again just by the sight of the man. He reached a hand down his pants and started rubbing, as she poked his legs with her foot. “Take. Them. Off.” Thomas smiled and did as he was told. His pants fell around his ankles as he stepped out, kicking off his boots. He pumped his cock, the flesh around his swollen head begging to be tasted.

He crawled onto the bed, his heavy dick hanging between his legs as he hovered over Y/N. She was licking her lips so much they were bound to become chapped. He laid his body on top of her, his cock resting against her pelvis. He reached a hand under her top, pulling the hem up to reveal her breast. The rough pad of his thumb brushed over the sensitive and raised peak, making her close her eyes. She let out a hot breath and Thomas took advantage of her open mouth. He plunged his tongue between her lips and swirled it around, filling her with her own taste.

Their lips smacked against each other, creating a dance of tongues filled with moans and whines. Thomas released her mouth and trailed suckling kisses across her jaw and down her neck until he reached her nipple. He took it into his mouth and thrust his hips forward, rubbing his shaft against Y/N’s all too sensitive clit. She shuddered and met his hips as she bucked up against him. He let out a deep groan at the friction he’d been craving so frustratingly and lightly bit down on the flesh next to her nipple in response.

“Untie. Me. Now.” Y/N huffed, trying to keep herself coherent enough to speak.

“Not yet.” Thomas purred into her ear and licked a long stripe from her jaw up to behind her ear that left chills on her skin as the cold air hit the wetness. She grunted in revolt at not being untied but was distracted as Thomas thrust his hips up again and she let out a hitched breath. He zoned in his focus on her nipple, sucking and nibbling until Y/N was writhing beneath him.

Thomas started to kiss her passionately in a chaos of lips, teeth, tongues, and saliva as he lifted his hand not preoccupied with her nipple to untie the fabric around her left wrist. She pulled her arm away at the freedom and immediately wove her fingers through his hair. He gave her other nipple equal attention when he switched hands to release her other wrist. It went for his ass without hesitation. She drew her leg up over his thigh as her fingers dig into the flesh on his behind. He moaned into her mouth at the feeling of her touch, not realizing how sorely he needed it.

His hips bucked up against her core rhythmically now as they deepened their kiss in a flutter of groping and tugging of flesh. “Fuck me.” Y/N spoke into his mouth and Thomas growled in response. He leaned up, pulled her shirt over her head and lined his cock up with her cunt. His head and shaft were already slick with her wetness from gliding across her core. He pressed the tip against the entrance and slowly pushed the head in. Y/N let out a moan as she felt him move deeper inside her, inch by agonizing inch. Halfway, he easily slid in until he bottomed out.

He kept still, taking in her heat around him and allowing her to adjust to his size. She whined when he was still for too long and the look in her eyes was all the answer he needed. He hiked her leg over his hip for a better angle and slowly pulled out until she was almost empty. He slowly pushed back in until their pelvis’ met again. He repeated this excruciating movement until she couldn’t take it anymore. She gripped the back of his head, intertwining her fingers in his hair and pulled his face to her. She kissed him hard and pulled on his lip with her teeth letting it bounce back with a plop. He let out a rumble in his chest and thrust into her hard. A small yelp escaped her chest and she dug her other hand into his shoulder. “Fuck.”

Thomas pulled out slow again, but rammed into her hard. He did this a few more times until he couldn’t take it anymore himself. He started to quicken his pace and Y/N’s head fell back as she clung to him. Her moans and grunts unrelenting, littered with profanities and his name, egging him on. “Oh fuck.” She forced out her words with each breath as he pushed into her like there was no room for them with him inside.

“Fuck, baby girl. You feel so fucking good.” Thomas let his head fall into the crevice of her neck as he pulled her other leg over his hip, the heels of her feet digging into the bottom of his ass. He mercilessly thrust into her, over and over, moving the bed along with them and they were both practically screaming now. “Christ, princess you’re so tight.”

Y/N couldn’t answer, her mind too wired and out of control, just like her body. She let out noises she couldn’t decipher and felt that heat in her abdomen start to boil like a hot white flame. They were both covered in sheens of sweat, and she watched as a bead dripped down Thomas’ temple. The vein in his neck was defined and strained, pulsing visibly. “I’m so fucking close.”

Thomas reached down between them and started to vigorously rub circles on her clit, he shifted his pelvis and with his next thrust hit her g-spot perfectly. “Holy..” She gasped out as the build-up reached its peak, the split moment of feeling lighter than air, her stomach jumping. “FUCK.” Her dams burst and she let out a long and gruff breath, exhaling hard as she came around his thick cock, her eyes and head rolling back.

Thomas could feel her clenching around him and the hot pressure sent him over the edge as he came inside her, letting hot spurts coat her walls. He took his fingers from her clit and wrapped his hand around the base of his cock as he milked out every last bit of his orgasm into Y/N. He collapsed down onto her, their bodies a mess of sweat, saliva, and come. They both panted and sighed as they let their bodies catch up to the moment, exhausted from what just happened.

Thomas got up and grabbed a cloth, dousing it in water, then cleaning up the mixture of come from Y/N. He cleaned off his limp cock and let it drop to hang between his thighs. He laid back down in the bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her as she curled up next to him. He reached over and played with the ends of her hair, examining her face. “I’m still leaving, you know.”

Y/N laid flat on her back and sighed. “I know.” She turned back into his side and looked up from his chest. “Let’s go get Minho, together.”

Taglist: @xoprincessmel​ @bitch-banshee​ @parker-potter​ @writingsbychlo​ @lettersofwrittencollective​ @fan-child​ @moongoddesskiana​

[donnerpartyofone]

how do i tell someone

that i will never talk on the phone with them, ever, in the course of our entire relationship, unless there is a legitimate crisis of their mental and physical safety?

now is probably the main time of my life when i need this skill. i should have saved all of my notepads, from the era where i was talking on the phone more, to demonstrate to people that even when i’m going to have a conversation with someone i feel very close to, i need to write down talking points ahead of time, for everything i might say to this person, in case i just spaz out and become totally paralyzed due to the pressures of performing on the telephone. today, i still have to get kind of drunk to handle the pressures of the phone, almost no matter what time of day the call is, or who it’s with, which is not good. maybe i could just send pictures of the bottles/cans/glasses that were required for the call, to get the point across. but, all that said: in reality, my aversion to the phone is just a symptom of my greater social aversion, which is a much harder thing to communicate to people who you want in your life. this morning i am thinking of a friend i love and don’t want to lose, but whose every text or email racks me with nervous electrical shocks, because i know that it is going to involve SO MUCH MORE than just saying hi, even if there is no central topic like a major life change or a request for advice or some similar guideline that helps me along. i can’t ever just send this friend a note or a picture they would like, just to say “thinking of you, hope you’re good!”, because it instantly provokes like 50 questions plus some kind of homework assignment (e.g. explaining that i don’t make everything on my blog, or finding out a bunch of background trivia about a meme i sent and where it came from originally because they “need” to know about it now), in addition to an attempt to schedule a call or a hangout. they are genuinely a pretty intense person, so it takes extra effort on my part to remind myself that at least half the problem is with me--that it’s not abnormal for people to want to spontaneously check in with their friends, especially now, and moreover it IS somewhat abnormal to want to control the exact amount and type of attention that you receive from others and be the sole arbiter of when they get to talk to or look at you based on the rare conditions under which you can stand it. it kind of sucks that i can’t get this person, and persons like them, to just NOTICE after all these years that for the most part i only socialize in short and/or discreet spurts, and sometimes they need to let me send them a little token of my esteem, just for fun, without it exploding into a whole interrogation of our entire lives including scheduled calls and meetings. i do tell people explicitly that i’m an introvert, that even pleasant social contact exhausts me quickly, that i don’t like to be touched, etc, but the truth is that this rarely lands with anyone besides other introverts who already know exactly how i feel without an explanation or instructions. no matter what i say or do, i still have to put up with a whole lot of “awww, i know you said you don’t like to be touched but i’m just gonna hug you ok LOL that’s just me that’s just how i am oh well c’mere AAAAAAWWWWWW! (makes full-body contact with me including the face)”, because people who aren’t like me can’t imagine what it’s like to be like me, to the point that actually they don’t even believe me, they won’t even take me at my word about how i prefer to be treated, they think that SECRETLY all human beings like to be touched so when i say “don’t touch me” i really mean that i’m just too shy to ask to be bathed in the showers of hugs and kisses that my heart truly desires. people just trying to talk to me is a little harder to define as a problem, though, because who is supposed to automatically know when i’m ready to have a conversation and when i’m not? it’s too tiring and too complicated for me to just reassert my boundaries over and over again, so i usually just let people manipulate me into whatever amusement they think i owe them, if i can’t avoid them entirely for whatever reason. so in the spirit of all this, i’ve been sitting here giving my phone the hairy side-eye for as long as it took to type out this entire blog post about the text message i just received asking me to either call or have a socially-distanced hangout, because it’s much easier for me to spend 40 minutes producing pages of brooding self-analysis while my coffee gets cold (and i haven’t even gotten to the exciting topic of how my mother was so rejecting and withholding that it socialized me to make everybody prove that they’re worth my time!) than it is for me to either JUST CALL THE PERSON; say “sure i’ll call you next week” and then ghost the person; or find that mythological perfect way to say, “look, i love you, but i can’t call you. it’s too confusing and it makes me too nervous. i know it’s hard, but you can’t take this personally; it’s entirely about me. why don’t you email me when you get a chance and tell me what you’ve been up to, or else i’ll let you know when i feel comfortable traveling to your neighborhood or vice versa. hope you’re good!” another solution, as my worst shrink once suggested, is to somehow transform myself into a person who LOVES crowds and phone calls and parties and attention and constant platonic touching and rubbing. but like i’m 39 now and i don’t think 40 is going to be the year that i discover that evil alchemy. UGH.

[shyeehaw]

RDR - Awkward s/o

Request: Can you write some headcanons with Sean, Arthur, Kieran, Lenny, Javier, John, Charles and Dutch (hope that's not too much lol) having an awkward s/o?

Sean

Before meeting him, you thought no one would ever get you.

You were used to sympathy giggles, but Sean? He actually finds you funny!

And if you start laughing at inappropriate times, guess who will join you?

Also, sometimes you will just panic and start to giggle. Without any reason to.

“Y/N, when was the last time you made a donation to the box?”, Ms. Grimshaw asks.

And then you giggle, trying to hide it only makes it worse.

So Sean will save you, with his smoothness.

“Ms. Grimshaw! I was forgetting to give me share, but yer reminder is always on time! Let me tell ya how I got this and-“

There was this unspoken rule that everyone seemed to know about, but you.

It’s like at birth they got a book called “things not to do” and memorized it... You? You didn’t even know there was a book until it was too late.

Sean was not bothered by how you always seemed to have a quirky subject to talk about.

Or if your compliments sounded way weirder than they intended to.

“You have nice hands.”, you said once, admiring how slim and long were his fingers, but not actually explaining what made you think of that.

Karen snorted and even Uncle was puzzled by your weird ways.

But not Sean, he just gave you the biggest smile, happy to have anything complimented.

“Thanks! so do you, Y/N.”

You two make a pretty funny duo, you may say something awkward and Sean will turn into a joke.

And once he starts oversharing, telling the story of his life and mentioning his “da”, you do too!

Happy to have someone that will actually listen this time.

Arthur

“What a handsome man...”, you thought once you laid eyes on him.

That same night, around the fire, Arthur came to talk to you.

“It’s nice to meet you! I’m Y/N”, you said offering your hand for a handshake.

“I know... I was here last week remember?”, he said, laughing a bit.

“Oh! Yes! Right! I was only joking...”, you said, convincing a total amount of 0 (zero!) people.

But Arthur did not gave up on you, not on that occasion or in the many others that you were probably astonishing him with your oddness.

People may call you awkward, but to Arthur the things you do are unique.

And he loves your uniqueness.

It’s intriguing to him how differently you react than others.

He is a worried boyfriend, always protecting you from people’s mean reactions.

Won’t admit anyone making fun of you. And honestly? People will take one look at his frown and know better.

He will try to save the conversation when you ask him to help with your eyes.

In fact, you two now share a whole dialogue just with glances, it’s pretty handy.

You asked him to stop you before you can embarrass yourself.

But his soft spot for you makes it so hard to do so.

Kieran

It all started by observing Kieran, like a lion does to it’s prey.

You would watch him trying to bond with others and, usually, being unable to say the right things...

Ss you watched him do that, only one thought crossed your mind. “Yup! That’s me! I gotta talk to him!”

You would sit beside him and attempt to start a conversation.

“Hi, I’ve noticed you are uncomfortable around them...”, you said, looking for any response.

Getting none but a bug-eyed expression, you added: “I am too!”

Ever since you two started being a thing, it was much easier to say things without the fear of being judged.

Kieran even got a little bit more confident.

Together, you two make a pretty awkward couple, but at least you are not alone anymore.

Lenny

Lenny almost makes you forget about your social ineptitude.

You feel so insecure about it that you rarely try to interact with others and when you do...

You always end up saying the wrong things.

But Lenny doesn’t mind, he finds it cute even.

He will give you a confidence boost by saying that if people don’t get you is their loss

When you get stuck on your thoughts, brooding over why did you say such weird things, Lenny will gently bring you back to the present.

“They’ll probably forget about it, Y/N. It was not that bad.”

He has this magical way of always being able to comfort you.

Most of all, Lenny accepts you from who you are

Javier

You never know when people expect you to hug them or not.

So after a long trip, when Javier arrived at camp and waved, you got up and went for a big hug.

It’s safe to say he was not expecting it, given that you two only talked a few times.

When someone waves at you, it’s not expected to greet them back?

“I had no idea they were a thing.”, you heard Tilly whispering to Mary-Beth.

Oh no. What have you done?

But it was such a spontaneous hug, Javier didn’t mind. He was actually glad to be greeted like that.

You have no idea how, but it seemed that he actually liked you.

He said the first thing he noticed about you was your... odd fashion sense.

Javier admires you for your originality, you have no shame on being your weird self. He loves that.

Somehow, he asked you in a date. A fishing trip as an excuse to get out of camp. Just the two of you.

That means a lot of time alone, and much time to embarrassing things to happen.

Like falling in the water. Good thing you know how to laugh at yourself.

Well, it was not a date exactly, you found it out later. When you filled the silence with a kiss and he had a surprised look on his face.

“You are wild Y/N, I love that about you.”

He will shower you with compliments.

And how is one supposed to answer to that?

“Your smile, mi amor, és hermoso”

“I... uh. Thanks? I like to smile, so I’m glad you... like it?”

Ugh, way to ruin the mood.

But he founds it adorable, in fact, your guess is that he does that on purpose, just to see you all worked up about it.

His compliments are genuine, so after the initial awkwardness of receiving it, you feel pretty good about it.

John

John has that tough way of his, but deep down he is so head over heels about you. That tiny detail doesn’t bother him.

It seems like every time he’s around, embarrassing things are prone to happen.

That might be because you are nervous when John is watching you, which only leads to disastrous comments by you.

You thought it would be a good idea to tell him a joke, and oh god, he was so invested in it.

Halfway through you realized you didn’t know how it ended. No big deal, right? You just make up a new ending.

You could tell that his smile was forced, but you appreciated the effort.

“Look, Y/N, I ain’t gonna lie, you are very odd.”, he said, causing you to abandon all hope, “But I like you. Very much.”

It was the most sincere declaration, there was no walking around the fact that you were a bit of a social disaster.

Being in a relationship with John, took him time to get used to your weird conversation topics.

Like the time you helped Pearson chop vegetables, and he thanked you.

You were about to say “no problem” but it got mixed with “you’re welcome”.

It came out as “your problem”, you could swear you saw John shaking his head from where he was standing.

He loves you still, even when you say things that get him embarrassed on your behalf.

Charles

There are no awkward silences with Charles.

You know he appreciates not having small talks, so you don’t feel compelled to fill the silence with nonsense.

It’s much easier when the other person is not expecting to talk all the time. 

Charles is so calm and nice with you it almost makes you act like that as well. Almost. 

There’s no changing you from your clumsiness.

When you two were hunting together, Charles saved you from falling flat on your face after you tripped into a root. It could have been romantic if you hadn’t ruined the moment by commenting on how that always happened to you.

“No, not the part of being saved! That never happened before! I mean, why can’t I just walk without tripping on things? I’m sorry, I’m being a chatterbox, right? I’ve seen you talking to Uncle and I know you don't-“

“Y/N, it’s fine. I’m just glad you are alright.”

“I am... thanks to you.”, you said, measuring your words for once.

Charles has this thing which makes him like the role of protector. So a clumsy s/o is a perfect fit. 

He is not bothered at all by your peculiar interactions with others. 

Charles doesn’t feel the need to connect with the others. So if you find it embarrassing, he probably doesn’t think much of it, assuring you it’s fine.

You don’t mind getting teased, but you do hope people think twice before doing it in front of him.

He likes you for you, and awkwardness won’t change that.

Dutch

He is the closest thing you get of a “boss”.

So, of course, he makes you nervous!

When asked to come to his tent and listen about a job, you are unable to concentrate.

You have to remind yourself to maintain eye contact, or else you might seem rude.

“Get that, Y/N? It’s an easy in and out situation. No hostages.”

You nod, trying to recall a word he said before that.

“I’m terribly sorry Dutch. But I was trying to look you in the eye, and I focused so much in that... I didn’t heard a word you said.”

He appears surprised at first, probably no one dared to be this upfront with him before.

“Well, you do have nice eyes, Y/N”

INSTANT BLUSH!

You two orbit around each other, sharing glances that leave your legs feeling like butter.

You can’t describe how embarrassed you were when Dutch went to give you a hug and you offered a handshake.

He just laughed it off and asked what it would be.

It was such a simple gesture and yet made you feel much better.

He is a charmer, so he never fails to give you compliments.

“You look good today”

“Nice! Thanks!”

Let’s just establish that compliments make your awkwardness go through the roof. Like, what are you supposed to do?

Dating you is thrilling. At any time you can say something weird.

He admires how you don’t seem to have a filter, you just say whatever it feels right.

And honesty is a very important topic for Dutch.

Setting up a whole mood and taking you to Saint Denis on a date, Dutch professes his love for you.

It was too unexpected, a wave of feelings got ahold of you.

“I think I love you too”, was the only thing that you were able to say.

“You think?”, he said, raising his brow, “Then I’ll have to make you sure of it.”

It’s no secret that he loves to dance, his phonograph it’s the second thing he cherishes the most.

And you hate that damned thing because you have two left feet.

Your moves lack grace, and you can feel everyone looking at your poor excuse of a dance.

But it’s so worth it, to slowly sway along him.

He loves to dance with you, even if it means bruised feet the day after.

[chikkachu]

Hungry Days AU

Prompt: A breathy demand: “Kiss me” - and what the other person does to respond.

-x-

Zorona (Zoro x Perona) make-out scene incoming. I couldn’t resist. What can I say?  I do love writing steamy situations. I don’t know why I’m so captivated by this pairing at the moment. This will also be available to read on my ff.net/A03 account.

Not sure what couple I’ll write for next (my last one was ZoLu, I guess I love writing about my favourite marimo lol). So let me know what you think and what ships you like. Headcanons are always welcome.

-x-

Whipping the bamboo sword so hard the material creaked, frustration etched each movement the green-haired boy made.  Zoro had experienced utter defeat at the hands of Hawkeye and today’s training session was his outlet. Perspiration dotted his forehead as he pushed his body to the limit – if not further. Knowing the young swordsman Perona would say the latter because she had witnessed his foolish fits of anger before.

He didn’t know when to stop.

Addicted to the feeling of hard work and adrenaline she supposed, not being a fitness freak herself. She’d prefer to put her feet up and drown her sorrows with a bowl of strawberry shortcake ice-cream. That was cuter than the smell of sweat and oxidising metal that accompanied the weight training Zoro chose.

Yet she still spent time in the kendo hall watching Hawkeye and Zoro when she wasn’t at the spooks club with Moria and Absalom. She felt strangely at home exchanging insults and chagrin. The brooding swordsman seemed to accept her regular visits as a norm. Her relationship with Zoro was peculiar. Sometimes they were at each other’s throats, his brutish attitude and ability to get lost in a one-way street tried her patience.

“Hah!” Startled Perona’s gaze jumped to the person occupying her thoughts. Tension making the harsh lines of his shoulders hunched forward, his perfect form wavering due to fatigue. It had been three hours of rigorous kata exorcises. Typical Zoro not acknowledging his limits - but this time was different. The injury had the potential to impact on his performance for months. She wasn’t an expert, but she knew that.

“Zoro.” She said, firm and non-compromising. Perona had never been a girl who settled for being ignored.

“It’s none of your business.” Biting and brutal to the point she could sense his teeth grinding as his jaw clenched.  Heart pounding in response to the blatant dismissal, her own temper flared. No one spoke to her like shit.

“Excuse me?” It wasn’t said as a question. It was a declaration of impending war. If he wanted to throw down, then she wouldn’t disappoint. Springing forward from her perch on the bench, she marched toward the glowering idiot.

“You are a rude obnoxious jerk Roronoa!” Stopping only when she made sure to purposefully invade his space. Toe to toe and her finger jabbed firmly in his thorax. She wanted her entire body to scream ‘fuck you’.

“Tch,” Upper lip pulling upwards into a snarl, he avoided her glare by staring to the side. The bastard was still trying to ignore her. Not happening. Shuffling sideways she stood on her tiptoes to stare him dead in the eye. “…annoying woman.”

Brow furrowing, she leaned further into his space so her nose almost touched his chin. Why did he have to be so tall? It ruined the effect.

“Me? Annoying?” Perona spat, noticing how he visibly winced at the high octaves, “That’s rich coming from ‘Mr. I’d be late to my own funeral’”.

“At least my laugh doesn’t sound like a dying cat.” Zoro shot back quick as usual. He didn’t usually resort to such childish arguments with anyone - the perverted cook didn't count. That dickhead disserved every slur apparently. Perona knew how to push his buttons as well as the blond. His attack didn’t put her off, in fact, excitement pulsed beneath her diaphragm. Not thinking she lunged placing both hands on his chest and used her body weight to push. Chuckling she watched the muscle head stumble as he lost his footing for a moment.

She couldn’t help but feel accomplishment in catching him off-guard even if it didn’t push him back. Zoro trained daily in martial arts and toned his core strength to the point she had seen him doing one-arm handstands. Honestly, the impact of her palms on his chest felt solid - a living bronze statue.

Calloused fingers formed a vice grip on her dainty hand, the pressure enough to hold her in place.

Perona hyper-aware of her throbbing pulse, her wrist gripped by his strong fingers, a large knot settled in her throat. A dangerous glint glazed Zoro’s eyes but she didn’t fear him. Perusing the features of her long-time friend she noticed his full bottom lip twitching. He tended to chew his bottom lip when hassled and the action diverted her attention.

It’s no secret Zoro is a good-looking boy – now a young man. Classically attractive features combined with the exotic allure of seafoam green hair made him a heartthrob. But most of the time people admired him from afar, a treasure you could see but not touch. The man had a demeanour that demanded respect and a not so subtle ‘fuck outta here’ vibe if you managed to piss him off.

Perona and the select few allowed into his inner circle knew another side. A kind and honourable man. And the biggest dork she’d ever met.

“Oi, stop staring.” Damn. She’d spaced out again…whilst eye fucking. Zoro didn’t need to know that.

“I would if you stopped being so cute.” Unless she opened her own stupid mouth. She had meant to say UN-cute. N-O-T cute.

Because he wasn’t.  At all.

“Cute?” He tried the word as if sucking on a sour treat. If she wasn’t so mortified the comical look that emerged - a cross between emotional constipation and disgust - would have triggered laughter.

The silence made her want to die or drop through the floor. Whatever happened quicker.

“I knew that’d pull out the stick that’s currently lodged up your ass.” She said, smiling sweetly. Tone sweet as honeycomb, dripping with the challenge. Time to save face.

Zoro leaned forward taking back the space she’d managed to steal. Squinting in thought his usual persona returned, it wasn’t the tense energy from before. Instead, it was a captivating focus that drew her in closer. He’d always had an ability to control the mood. It seriously rubbed her the wrong way. Perona would spend an hour iterating how she felt on a topic and he’d manage with a single sentence. Sometimes a grunt, yet she’d understand.  

Right now, she understood the atmosphere around them. Intense, sexy and one hundred percent Zoro.  Subconsciously placing a hand on his chest, she traced the seam of his keikogi. Keeping eye contact as she travelled to his neck, fingers brushing the soft skin in the conjunction of his neck. Zoro swallowed and once again she found herself admiring his lips. His nose brushed hers as he exhaled the brief contact titillating her nerve endings. Perona wanted more from him.

“Kiss me.” She sighed, her own lips brushing against his chin. Once again it wasn’t a question but a breathy demand. Her breath jittered as she felt his thumb stroke over her lips as if silencing the gibberish likely to explode from her mouth if he didn’t hurry up. True to form he read her well and the cocky smirk told her he hadn’t bought her excuse from the beginning.

“You always have to make things personal,” Zoro said, voice gravelly and taking her mind to a place that wasn’t appropriate for a gym hall. Head dipping, he hovered for a second, mirth dancing in his eyes. Fed up with his teasing she shifted to aim a well-deserved kick in the shin when he nipped at the corner of her mouth. Perona felt her mouth pop with an embarrassing gush that resulted from the attention.

He moved in quick precision, making her feel like the hunter became the hunted, enveloping her bottom lip into his mouth. Still holding her hand, he tugged sharply, and she found herself being melded into the masculine presence that was Roronoa Zoro. She felt a large hand splay across the small of her back, pushing her flush to his torso. Clearly, he didn’t want any space between them.

Peppering wet kisses over her top lip she felt him raise their joined hands. Pushing her palm flat against his jawline he broke away to lay a kiss on her palm. Aegean blue eyes gazed at her under a thick hood of gorgeous eyelashes. Honestly, Perona hated the fact that he was such a pretty boy and she had a weakness for anything cute.  

Impatient she used the hand to forcefully turn his head, whilst the other slid into his green strands gripping what she could. Lips now a supple pink she nuzzled his nose before capturing his lips in an audacious move. Eyes closing, she took in the sensations of his tongue sliding over the seam of her lips, the warmth of his breath on her cheek and how soft his hair felt.

“AH-em.” Freezing at the deliberate interruption, Zoro’s arms locked around her waist in surprise. Her eyes shot open to see her partners face resembling the tragedy mask they often see in her drama study classes.  Rose started to bleed onto his cheeks and coat the tips of his ears. It was too cute to stop an awkward giggle escaping.

“Tch.” Zoro and his typical sulk sound. He refused to look at her or his intruding teacher in the eye. Looking over his shoulder she spotted Mihawk standing in the doorframe across the room. Arms folded and his expression screaming annoyance. A slight twitch at the corner of his mouth said he had expected this.

“Roronoa, this is not your bedroom. Take it elsewhere.”

Tinkling laughter filled the hall as Perona grabbed Zoro’s hand. It’d be her pleasure to whisk the wayward swordsman somewhere private.  

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 216: You’re a Good Man, Shinsou Hitoshi

Previously on BnHA: Deku calmed his emotions and activated Blackwhip a second time, this time On Purpose, and for a moment it looked like he was going to completely curb stomp poor Shinsou. But then he crumpled in pain and the quirk vanished, and he realized he wasn’t physically strong enough to use that quirk just yet. So instead he chased after Shinsou using good ol’ full cowl. Meanwhile Ochako captured Monoma, who taunted her about having one last ace up his sleeve. This turned out to be a Twin Impact shot he’d been saving to hit Deku with, and it worked pretty nicely, but unfortunately our boy Shinsou didn’t have enough experience yet to take full advantage of the resulting opening. Meanwhile Ochako went to bail out Mina and Mineta and took out not one but two more opponents singlehandedly like the fucking ninja she is. Mina took out the third with a raging uppercut, leaving Deku to wrangle Shinsou, thus securing 1-A’s total victory. Now all that remains to be seen is what kind of excuse Deku will come up with for his sudden new quirk, and whether or not Shinsou will be accepted into the hero course. We’re all rooting for you, kid.

Today on BnHA: The 5th set wraps up with a 4-0 victory for Team A, which also gives class A the overall victory over class B, having won 3 of the 5 matches. As 1-A celebrates, Shinsou broods. He was able to piece together that the exercise was a test for his potential transfer, but he feels like he didn’t accomplish enough. The teachers gather the two teams for the post-game analysis and are all “what the fuck, Midoriya.” Deku is all “I don’t know either,” and for some reason everyone just buys that and moves on with their lives. Deku credits Ochako and Shinsou with helping to save him, but Shinsou says he just did it to stop his team from losing. Aizawa chokes some sense into him and says that just because he’s not a perfect 100% self-sacrificing martyr all the time doesn’t mean he’s not worthy of being a hero. Everyone else chimes in and says that Shinsou did really good, and Vlad says that although they still need to make it official, it’s more than likely that Shinsou will be joining the hero course next year. Having settled all that, Aizawa asks Monoma if he can do him a favor and come with him to see Eri the next day.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 225, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

so we’re opening with Shinsou’s perspective on those last few moments against Deku

wow

you’re telling me Izuku was spinning around over and over again in mid-air? he wasn’t just twisting the binding cloth around?? he himself was literally twirling at high speed? that’s what this panel was depicting?? the author of this series is drunk

ahhhhhh my poor exhausted lavender son

welcome to shounen manga, friend. we only go forwards not back

ahhhhh fff dammit Shinsou

YOU BETTER NOT START CRYING OR I’M GONNA LOSE IT

and now we’re belatedly getting the hero names of the four class B kids waaaaaay after the fact

Emily??

(ETA: Exorcism of Emily Rose?? that’s what Viz’s translator speculated, anyway. idk I don’t watch horror movies so I don’t know what else it could be.)

I like the name “Mines” for Shouda though! his quirk kinda is like a landmine I guess. also this poor kid has seen better days Mina what did you do to him

anyways so poor Vlad is being forced to announce class 1-A’s perfect 4-0 victory for the second time in a row

haha check out Mina’s kung fu pose

and Ochako’s peace sign. MVPs. I stan some motherfucking legends here I tell you what

oh lol it was Midnight that was doing the commentary since Vlad went with Aizawa and All Might

I’m glad the kids’ petitioning paid off

so in the end class 1-A once again proved themselves against the unfortunate class 1-B who had all of the cool quirks but none of the luck

Midnight’s making the official announcement and everyone is cheering!

poor class B

it’s not your fault, Manga. at least your team actually won, mainly thanks to you

ahhhh we’re cutting back to Shinsou and his face is hidden and he’s tugging at his scarf and hesitantly addressing Vlad and Aizawa

SHINSOU STOP IT

SOMEONE GIVE HIM A HUG!! AND STOP LEAVING HIM IN SUSPENSE!!!

he says this was also supposed to be his transfer exam. so he knew??

lol Vlad is asking Aizawa if he told him, but Shinsou says he basically just put two and two together even though he wasn’t 100% sure

“not to mention, I was the only one who participated in two matches” yeah that was certainly a big clue

lmao Vlad looks so impressed

just how low are your standards dude

and now Aizawa is changing the topic and says it’s time for the teachers’ critiques! OH BOY THIS OUGHTA BE GOOD

Deku’s critique basically should just consist of “what the actual fuck Midoriya”

and like I said in the previous recap, Shinsou should get credit for his performance in the first battle as well as his save in this battle which showed he has the true spirit of a hero!

LOOOOOOOOOOOL

I WANT TO SHAKE HORIKOSHI’S GODDAMN HAND

so Aizawa’s asking what the principle is behind Deku’s new move since it’s so radically different from his established “super strength” quirk

and Deku’s just standing there nervously

Tokoyami and Kuroiro are bonding over their mutual admiration of how goth the new quirk is

hmmmm how you wanna play this Deku

so basically just be all “fuck if I know, this quirk only manifested for the first time eight months ago and it keeps surprising me with weird new shit. petition to rename it ‘mystery quirk’”

sidestepping the question like a pro there Deku

so he says his power suddenly started overflowing and he couldn’t suppress it and it scared him, but that thanks to Shinsou and Ochako’s help it turned out all right

he says that if Shinsou hadn’t knocked him out he’s not sure what would have happened

and he’s turning to Shinsou now and explaining that he wasn’t bluffing earlier, and he’s thanking him

what the fuck Shinsou

were you?? fooled me then

YESSSSSSSS GIVE OCHAKO HER PROPS

SHE WAS A FUCKING BADASS. NOW TALK ABOUT THE PART WHERE SHE’S RESPONSIBLE FOR CAPTURING 3 OF THE 5 ENEMY TEAM MEMBERS

noooo goddammit Mina not now!!

MINA ARE YOU JEALOUS NO ONE HAS GIVEN YOU CREDIT YET. WE WERE GETTING TO THAT, BE PATIENT

oh sheesh lmao

and now she’s nervously twiddling her fingers and smiling hesitantly and saying she’d rather do that than not do anything and regret it later

oh my gosh

SO PROUD OF MY LITTLE BABY GIRL. YES!!

and holy shit but I want to take that picture of him smiling almost imperceptibly and fucking frame it

look at Ochako managing to completely deflect the attention away from Deku somehow. not only was she the MVP of the battle, but she just keeps saving his ass even afterward

holy shit

DEKU’S FACE ALSO BEING BEET RED THOUGH. HE MUST LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN RADISH

anyway, so Shinsou says he just did what Ochako asked him to do

yeah, but you did it despite them being on the opposing team though!

exactly. you knew it was the right course of action and you didn’t hesitate

SHINSOU STOP MAKING THESE SAD FACES!!!

FOR FUCK’S SAKE I CAN’T TAKE THIS??

AIZAWA OH MY GOD YES

PLEASE REASSURE YOUR DEPRESSED PURPLE SON AND TELL HIM THAT HE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG AND HE’S A GOOD HERO

sdlfhaslkdfj

holy --

lmao at Kaminari immediately breaking into a chant. methinks the mangaka is too self-aware

and well then, since Best Dad Aizawa Shouta has officially entered the ranks of parents who occasionally discipline their children via shocking comedic violence (consider also: All Might decking Deku at the beach a mere chapter before Mitsuki’s infamous introduction), maybe we can finally put that debate to rest. I think it’s pretty clear when Horikoshi is intentionally portraying abuse and when he’s just being over the top because this is a fictional story in a fictional world where not three pages ago there was a character with a literal comic book for a head

oh snap Aizawa

in other words, it’s okay to be a little selfish. sometimes selfish is even needed. because he’s absolutely right, if you don’t take care of yourself as well you’ll fuck yourself over before long and then you won’t be able to save anyone

and also, at the end of the day, if you save everyone successfully and complete the mission, does it really make sense to stand around and argue whether or not your intentions were pure enough?

anyways needless to say I’m really digging this “nobody’s perfect” speech right here you guys

(ETA: oh hey it’s Aizawa’s Mysterious Cloudy Friend, Shirakumo! probably. hey Shirakumo. what’s your fucking deal goddammit)

this is basically Aizawa’s version of All Might’s speech from chapter 120. I always love when the series metas about what it means to be a hero and what separates the great ones from everyone else. and we saw firsthand in Bakugou’s match just a few chapters ago the difference it makes when a hero is focused on both winning and rescuing

now Deku is complimenting Shinsou on all of his strategic moves like dropping those pipes down on him and trying to lead him back to where everyone else was to regain his advantage

oh my god you guys Deku is so passionate and generous with his praise, this is exactly the kind of thing Shinsou needed to hear though

kinda getting that “a true hero doesn’t just save people, they save people’s hearts” vibe thing here on top of everything else

oh my god Deku

what the fuck are you talking about, if anything you lean into this too much and you need to relax a little and take some of Aizawa’s advice to heart

ahhhhhhhhHHHHHH

YESSSSSSSSSSS THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. YOU DID IT SHINSOU I’M SO PROUD OF YOU

oh my god. the one hand clutching his scarf and the other one in a clenched fist. and that face. oh shit here come the feels

and I desperately need to know if this means next year as in January/next term, or next year as in when they move on to year 2

(ETA: Viz’s translation indicates it’ll happen in their second year of school.)

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS CHAPTER TO FIND OUT, AND THEN YOU GO AND PULL THIS SHIT. UNBELIEVABLE

(ETA: I love that both classes so clearly want him though. again, they’ve all collectively adopted him and I love it

also, class 1-A still has a traitor in their midst, so depending on when and how that all goes down, they may just end up having a vacancy, just saying...)

oh my god

Mina this is why I want you to run for President. and Aizawa, she absolutely is right and he should be punished

loooool Monoma is trying!

hang in there buddy

so getting back to that, I’m guessing what happened there was that he did take One for All the quirk, but not any of the stockpiled power within Izuku? because to get that it has to be willed to you by the previous owner. so basically he was trying to activate it, and it probably was working, but his version of the quirk was at OFA Prime levels. basically starting from scratch with no additional power stored up other than his own. and we all agree this is actually very fortunate for him and he’d be getting carted off to Recovery Girl right now if things had gone differently

does that not bother him, by the way? like, Ochako just figured he was “bluffing”, but Monoma knows he was actually trying to activate the quirk and nothing was happening. I wonder what he made of that. it seems like maybe he’s too caught up in the loss to class A to really think much on it just yet

(ETA: so apparently he knows enough about how his quirk works to have already figured this out, lol.)

whoa oh shit and I just read the last three panels and a ton of interesting stuff happened so quickly lol

okay let’s break this down and then we’ll end the recap

(1) Deku is so fucking pure. middle of a battle and being attacked, and his only concern is that the quirk is gonna be too much for Monoma and badly injure him

(ETA: and can I just say, the other students could have used a little more of that concern though. the teachers too for that matter.)

(2) so I take this to mean Horikoshi is going to explain what happened, but for now I’m assuming my speculation is more or less near the mark. he definitely did take OFA because you could see the telltale red flashing pulsing shit happening with his skin. so it has nothing to do with Deku originally being quirkless; it’s the way that OFA as a quirk works

(3) Deku is super fucking lucky that no one started questioning what happened with his quirk again, what with Monoma bringing the subject back up

and lastly, (4) OH SHIT. is he gonna have Monoma copy Eri’s quirk to see if he can control it? lol we only just established how lucky he is to be alive after taking Deku’s quirk. what are you trying to do to this poor kid

though I am glad to see Aizawa being a logical dad who cares about his baby girl and is constantly thinking of ways in which to possibly help her out. ah well, hope nothing goes wrong there

and that’s it! on to the next chapter to hopefully see Bakugou and All Might grill Deku about WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED lol

[kusunogatari-a]

[ Kalon || @sasuhina-renaissance-week ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Healing Waters and Scorching Flames ] [ A beauty that is more than skin deep - beautiful, as an outward sign of inward good, noble, honorable character. ]

If you’d have told him where he’d stand today only a handful of years ago, Sasuke would have laughed...and then scorched your skin for such an insult. Him? A prince of the Fire Nation? In love with a measly waterbender? Please. It’s not only a remark against his heritage of pureblood firebenders, but a personal one as well. As if he’d ever let one of those weak, water-blooded fools anywhere near him unless on their knees, pledging allegiance to the new empire.

...but much can change in such a short amount of time.

His mission had been to capture the Avatar: one he’d accepted gladly for glory in his father’s eyes. Second born behind a sick and frail elder brother, he thought that enough favor from their father would have usurped Itachi’s birthright and granted him the title of Fire Lord. He’d not always been so lustful for power...but time had seen him torn between worry for his brother’s health...and ridicule that a weak man would mean a weak nation. Better he to lead.

But in the end, he’d abandoned that wish for power, and instead helped the Avatar himself master firebending, and overtake Fugaku to bring the war to a close at last. It hadn’t been an easy path - they’d clashed more than once, as well as the rest of his little entourage. The temperamental earthbender, Sakura; a nonbender from the south pole, Kiba, and his polar bear dog; and the little waterbender, Hinata.

The last had been of little consequence at first. Benders were so rare in the south after their raids, she had no one to teach her. But every time they met, she got a little stronger - a little surer. And eventually, Sasuke could no longer ignore her strength - both in bending, and in spirit.

The war’s closing meant slowly beginning to amend the damage done. While Itachi tends to the Fire Nation, Sasuke remains with his new band: touring the lands he helped conquer under his own’s banner.

Things are...stable now. But far from as they were before Madara’s conquest began. Sasuke has every intention of amending what his family has done. And he’s glad he doesn’t have to do so alone.

For the moment, they’re back in his homeland. Naruto has brought leaders from the other nations to address Itachi and begin putting new laws and sanctions into place to assure this never happens again. As always, Sakura remains at his side as an anchor for his...often-lofty ideas. Kiba, ranking in his nation’s navy now, is part of the negotiations and ensuring Fire Nation military downsizing.

And Hinata is among her land’s council as steps toward peace continue.

Sasuke, still a prince to his brother’s title of Fire Lord, mostly lingers in corners. Itachi at times seeks his advice, but Sasuke doesn’t yet trust himself near positions of power. Not after what he nearly did for it. What he nearly sacrificed.

Most don’t seem to notice, too involved in their new roles. But one spares the time to ensure he’s not left alone too long.

It’s evening, the capital dusky as negotiations carry on into the later hours. Elbows leaned against a balcony railing, he turns at the sound of the door behind him, expecting a summons from Itachi.

Instead, he sees Hinata.

Dark brows lift slightly in surprise. “...have they finished for the night?”

“No...but it’s a topic I’m not part of.” She moves herself abreast him, hands daintily mimicking his arms.

Sasuke finds himself shying from her slightly. “...looking for fresh air?”

“Mm...and some less argumentative company.” She gives him a glance, a slightly glint of humor in her gaze. “I know this is all important, but...sometimes I just need a little time away from it all. And most of the talk from my nation comes from those older than me, anyway. I’m really only here because I traveled with the Avatar…”

“It gives you good insight.”

“I suppose...but part of me wishes I wasn’t so sought-after. I’ve not had a quiet day since then, and it’s been...what, five years now? I’m just...tired.”

He considers her for a moment. There’s none of the posture he saw when they first met. No longer is she timid, unsure, or avoidant. She stands with a kind of regality even now, though he’s sure she doesn’t intend it. It’s simply...natural. Her gaze is a thousand miles away, staring out over the city and not noticing his staring.

...it’s then it really hits him how beautiful she is. And not just on the surface. Her strength, so hard-won after her struggles. Her patience at all she’s faced. Her grace inherited from the flow of her element.

The pit of his stomach drops as he realizes...he’s grown quite fond of her over the years. Naruto is a good companion - his liveliness and positivity balance out his own brooding and pessimism. Sakura doesn’t mince her words - he can always expect what he needs to hear from her. Kiba...well, the nonbender is obnoxious, but loyal - he’s taught the prince a lot.

But Hinata…

At first, like the others, she didn’t trust him. Perhaps more so - she’d been quite smitten with Naruto back then, and as the boy’s primary threat, she’d reeled on him with a tenacity he’d not expected. But in the end...they had far more similarities than differences. Though driven, Sasuke has never been brash. The other three are far more outspoken than he.

Not Hinata.

At the base of their natures is a similar quietude. Though he’s been arrogant, and at times scorching like his element, what’s been left in the wake of his new path is...different. His temper has cooled. No longer does he seek attention, or recognition, or power. He merely wishes to make his amends, quietly, without fuss or flare. After so long of feeling torn, and angry, and looked down upon, he wants nothing more than to find peace. For himself, and the world he owes.

...she’s been good company in that regard.

Water can be violent. It can drown what angers it. And true, Hinata has a fierceness to her, but only when necessary. Otherwise, she’s been a quiet pool to calm the rest of her companions. The voice of reason and caution, but just as strong when there are no other options.

He wishes he could be half the person she is. He wishes for her patience, her resilience, her level head and her steadfastness.

She knows who she is. What she wants. Even if part of it has fallen through, she adapts with that same grace, head held high. She’s grown into a woman of beauty, inside and out.

“...Sasuke…?”

A blink. “...yes?”

Her head tilts, looking to him in concern. “...are you feeling well? You were a bit...vacant for a moment.”

Sasuke glances around - how long was he…? “...I was just lost in thought.”

She softens, but only just, in understanding. “...there’s been much to think about lately,” she agrees quietly. “Who knows how long we’ll be here...these talks have potential to last weeks.”

“...I’ll not mind them so long as it means you’ll be here.”

Her gaze widens slightly, and he realizes he’s said too much.

“...you balance out that blond buffoon,” Sasuke attempts to amend, tone rushed in an obvious excuse. “This will all be tedious enough without his volume and...enthusiasm.”

At that, Hinata can’t help a laugh into her sleeve. The sound brings him a small flutter of contentment. “...well, I’ll do my best. It’s good he has the energy, though. Otherwise I fear we’d all be asleep in our seats!”

His lips twitch. “...fair enough.”

Silence falls between them, but it’s neither unwanted nor uncomfortable: amiable, and a pleasant change of pace. Only once some time passes does she murmur, “...I should let you retire for the night. And I’d best do the same - I could be called back for anything at any time.”

Sasuke swallows back a tinge of disappointment. “True...Naruto can only keep you awake through so much.”

She smiles. “...I’ll see you tomorrow, Sasuke.”

“Until then...Hinata.” Watching her go, he only turns back once the door shuts behind her with a soft clack.

Her absence is deafening.

Still leaned along the balcony railing, Sasuke heaves a sigh.

“...what are you getting yourself into, you fool…?”

     This feels a little off, but I haven’t written this verse in quite some time ^^; Apologies if I’m a little rusty lol      I’ve had this verse for a while, though it normally only has one set pairing. But what’s an AU unless you have like ten branching AUs from it? So in this one, we’ve got SasuHina, taking place a few years after what would be the ending of AtLA.      But, I won’t ramble too much - I’ll probably do AUs for all of my entries for this lil ship week (because honestly they’re so much more fun for me to write than canon verses lol), so keep an eye out for them! Some are crossovers, but some are also based on my original novel work. We’ll see what each prompt best fits as the week goes on!      Happy shipping, fellow SasuHina lovers :3 See y’all tomorrow!

[fourtrisheafanfic]

Fan fiction Title: Chat Room Romance

Rating: Mature

Summary: Two people meet in an X-Files online chat room and become instant friends. After a couple of months of chatting users ScientistScully (Dany) and FoxyMulder (Jon) decide to give it a try and meet on a blind date. What happens with sparks fly - but not in a good way? Chat Room Romance is a jonerys short-story written for the Jonerys Week 2018. I selected the Prompt Modern AU for day three (March 6th) - Chapter 1. Chapter 2 will be for day four (March 7th).

**I have no rights to these characters, all belong to HBO and Author, George R.R. Martin**

#jonerysweek #jonerys week 2018 #jonerys

Ao3 link: (X)

++o+ Chapter One: Online Friendship +o++

 01.03.2018

ScientistScully: Okay, Foxy…I just watched episode 1! Thank you for not sending me any spoilers since I couldn’t watch it live. Work was a nightmare today, as I suspected it would be. I just got home an hour ago.

FoxyMulder: First, you need to stop calling me Foxy. I was so drunk when I made up my username. StudMulder was already taken... lol.  Kidding. But seriously, I am the furthest thing from being a fox. I consider myself more of a WOLF! ;-) And of course I wasn’t going to ruin the episode for you with spoilers.

ScientistScully: xoxo

FoxyMulder: Besides SS, you are my best friend – who else would I want to talk about our favorite show with?

ScientistScully: Hmmm…your best friend? You won’t even write out my full username, calling me SS! That is a pretty big title for you to give to a girl you have never met in real life.

FoxyMulder: First, if you want me to write out ScientistScully every time, I will do it for you. I’ll do anything for you. LOL As for us not having met in person… Well, that is true…but you do feel like my best friend. We have been talking online for many months now...and pretty much daily. When I have a problem, you are the first person I think of to talk to. Of course someone who loves the X-Files as much as you do would be a wealth of knowledge about the real world!

ScientistScully: I am just teasing you, the truth is your (cyber) friendship has become really important to me too. I feel like I can talk to you about anything…so thank you for that. There is probably something safe about speaking to someone online that is never going to be in your “real life” - - makes it more secure?

FoxyMulder: Yeah – you can’t betray me and spill all of my dark secrets that I confide in you!

ScientistScully: True dat. Okay – ENOUGH flattery – Let’s talk about the show…I didn’t love it. I can’t get over the nerve of the writers!!!  I will revolt if the Smoking Man is telling the truth that he fathered William by pairing his DNA with aliens and impregnating Scully. Hell no!!!!  That better be Mulder’s love child.

FoxyMulder: Oh my sweet SS! The moment I watched that part I knew you were going to be so pissed off!!!  I knew it!  You are such a romantic – still shipping Mulder and Scully after all these years.

ScientistScully: And you aren’t a romantic? Of COURSE I ship them, they are meant to be!

FoxyMulder: Am I romantic? I think with the right girl…I would be. Speaking of that…have you thought about what I said…maybe we can meet in the real world one day?  I am sure there will be some Comic Con event we can meet at…pick a city that is somewhere in the middle of the cities we secretly live in.

ScientistScully: Oh Foxy… Remember our promise – we agreed to not exchange real names or talk about where we live. I am a girl in my 20s… I like how safe this thing we have is now. Don’t be mad, okay?

FoxyMulder: I could never be mad at you. And I get where you are coming from. Although I promise I am not a serial killer, I respect your wishes. Maybe five years from now when we are still debating the X-Files series we can meet then. ;-) As I am in my 20s too...I can be patient until you are ready.

ScientistScully: Thanks Foxy xo! You’re too good to me. Before we discuss tonight’s show – I want to hear about how Ghost’s visit to the vet went…all okay? ….

02.01.2018

FoxyMulder: Hey, how was your day? Are you feeling better?

ScientistScully: Hi Foxy, I am not feeling better. :-( I ended up staying home all day and sleeping. My office was not happy with me.

FoxyMulder: I was worried about that, when you cut our chat short last night...I just knew you were really sick.

ScientistScully: Yeah, my roommate made me chicken soup before she left for her fiance’s place. I’ve nibbled on that and just rested.

FoxyMulder: I would so take care of you...if you would let me.

ScientistScully: Promises, promises…. LOL

FoxyMulder: Ha, ha.  You are too much. But seriously, if you aren’t feeling well we can stop chatting. I don’t want to be responsible for hindering your recovery.

ScientistScully: I am literally laughing. You always make me smile...Foxy. ;-)  No, I hated not chatting with you last night. I missed you… Tell me about your day…

02.06.2018

ScientistScully: Hey…  If I said something to upset you, I just wanted to say I am sorry. I am sometimes guilty of putting my foot in my mouth. I miss you, “Foxy”. :-(

FoxyMulder: Fuck.. SS, I am the one who is sorry. No, you are perfect and probably the most amazing person I’ve ever gotten close with. The things I told you about...about my life, my family… I’ve never talked to ANYONE about those things. I just felt so overwhelmed after and I needed some time alone to brood. But you are amazing, I count on you. Sorry if that sounds...weird? But it is true. Besides, I finally got you to agree to exchange photos of our furry-babies (as you like to call them...not my words). Yours cats are so cute. I’d rather see a picture of you.,, But still a WIN!

ScientistScully: First, thank you for confiding in me. I care about you too. A lot. And I do owe you an apology. My crazy ranting about your stepmother was not cool, and I am sure although TRUE, it didn’t make you feel any better.  Again - I am really sorry.  I wish I had been more level headed and calm. I care about you… it just hit me harder than I thought it would.

FoxyMulder: Hey, stop. No apology needed. Well...the only apology you owe me is for not being willing to meet at some random city and give me a real hug of comfort. (kidding!...kinda)

ScientistScully: Hey - we just have shared all of this personal life stories with each other….baby steps my friend. Baby steps! And GHOST is gorgeous...I just want to hug him!

FoxyMulder: you want to hug my dog...but not me??  Ouch! I know, I know. I just want what I want. And that is to really get to meet you. In the real world. BUT until then… Are you so excited for tomorrow night’s new episode?  

ScientistScully: Kinda…  An episode that is centered around Skinner and called “Kitten” makes me wonder….

02.14.2018

FoxyMulder: Look SS - it is not nice to cyber-MOCK me. I swear, Ghost can tell when I am chatting with YOU!!! Dogs are very intuitive. Although my dog doesn’t know you, I am pretty sure he loves you. Besides...I know we have been chatting for hours...but I have to be honest with you about something off topic.

ScientistScully: Always...spill. Next you are going to tell me that you think my cats are psychic.

FoxyMulder: I was really...nervous...petrified even… That you weren’t going to be be able to chat tonight, since it is Valentine’s Day. I think my heart would’ve burst. I mean - I guess you have never told me that you don’t have a boyfriend...or even a husband (please God, do not tell me you are married)

ScientistScully: Foxy!!!!  No, I am not married.  LOL  Jeez. And I am not dating anyone at the moment. I do go on the occasional date, usually when someone tries to set me up with some poor guy. But nothing good has ever come of that. And you?

FoxyMulder: Single...super single. But also super interested in someone.

ScientistScully: Oh? Well, that’s cool. So what’s she like?

FoxyMulder: Well, she is pretty amazing in every way that counts. Smart, wicked funny, kind, I love talking to her. She means a lot to me.

++long pause before ScientistScully replies ++

ScientistScully: Wow. She sounds amazing. So did you have a nice V-day with her? You seem like the kind of guy that would make a good effort...

FoxyMulder: Yeah, it has been a nice V-Day with her...because I am chatting with her right now.

ScientistScully: Foxy!  STOP toying with me, that was cruel. Ugh, you had me going there… Look...I just don’t know what to say. But yes...I like you too.  A lot.

FoxyMulder: Good, because I am crazy about you. SS - I will do anything. I will fly to your city, stay in my own hotel and just take you out for coffee. I am serious. Ghost has a new dog sitter and he is willing to do overnights!

ScientistScully: I am sitting here blushing...I need to think about it. Okay?

FoxyMulder: Okay. But will you tell me what city you live in...so I can start planning my trip?

ScientistScully: You are too much!!!! But FINE….  I live in Denver, Colorado. But do NOT go buying any plane tickets yet!

FoxyMulder: Wait - WHAT????? Are you kidding?  I also live in Colorado...south of Denver...in the Wash Park area. This is CRAZY.  

ScientistScully: You are kidding again right?

FoxyMulder: Dead serious - I live in Wash Park (Ghost’s favorite park) and work in the DTC. You?

ScientistScully: Work and live downtown… This is crazy.

FoxyMulder: No...I think it’s fate. Now we have to meet, for real. X-files won’t be on for couple weeks because of the Winter Olympics...who knows, maybe by then we can even watch it together….

ScientistScully: Slow down there… This is just crazy, but also pretty cool. Give me a few days to think about it. Please?

FoxyMulder: SS - of course. I want you to take all the time you need...I am just really happy.

ScientistScully: Thanks. And just so you know….I am really happy too….

02.17.2018

“Why are we still even talking about this, Dany?!” Missie says across the breakfast table, taking a large sip from her coffee. “You are CRAZY about this guy. I knew it when you had been talking to him for just a few weeks and you had those dates with Daario.”

“Daario? What does he have to do with this?” Dany asks, genuinely confused. She had only gone on a handful of dates with Daario...and they were pretty much a flop.

“Um, when someone as fine as Daario is throwing himself at your feet, taking you on fancy dates...and all YOU wanted to do was get home, change into your pajamas so you can log on and chat with “FoxyMulder” - - that is how I know you really like this guy...you liked him then and I think you like him a lot more now. Let’s not forget - it turns out he lives in the same state!” Missie says firmly, enjoying the look of surprise flashing on Dany’s face.

Dany’s mind is racing. How did this even happen? She has been an avid X-files fan for decades and she decided to log into a X-Files chat room one night, just to discuss the theories and enjoy some banter before the new season started…  And then she met him, FoxyMulder.

Dany also trusts Missie’s opinion more than anyone else. She has always been level headed, calm and gives the best advice. She will be so sad when Missie moves in with her fiance Grey after their wedding in two months. But Dany knows they will remain close, plus Grey’s condo is only 5 blocks away.

“You are right...I am even surprised how much I like him, I care about him. We’ve talked about such personal things. I mean...it is even possible to fall in love with someone you have never met in person???” Dany asks out loud what she wonders about often, she does feel confused.

“All I can tell you….that we both know a few couples that met via online dating and are really happy now. It is a new world. Yeah - you guys were on a chat group about a nerdy sci-fi show...but in the end...you were the one to tell me that you talk about X-files but much more about your real lives,” Missie pushes kindly. Her roommate is one of the sweetest persons she has ever known, she wants her to be happy.

Missie ponders the situation - maybe this X-Files nerd will be it for Dany. “I just think you should meet for coffee and don’t hold back!”

Dany smiles at her friend...feeling more confident with her decision. As always, she can’t wait to talk to Foxy via chat tonight.

  02.17.2018

FoxyMulder: So as I end every chat lately...and I am persistent… Could I take you out for a coffee date? How about this next Friday….the 23rd?

ScientistScully: FoxyMulder...my answer is yes! Let’s do this. I would love to meet you for coffee. But please, nothing fancy. AND just in case it is a complete flop...can we agree to not exchange our real names yet?

FoxyMulder: In case what, that we hate each other??? Just so you know, I call you SS...not for ScientistScully...it is now for “Skeptical Scully”!

ScientistScully: ha, ha, ha….so is that a no for coffee then?

FoxyMulder: Hell yes - we are having our coffee date next weekend.  I can’t wait!!!! I will pick out which coffee shop and get back to you. So Friday the 23rd... Shall we say 6pm? After work for us both?

ScientistScully: Sounds perfect.

FoxyMulder: It sounds like a date to me!

ScientistScully: Yes, a date.  :-)

++o+ Chapter End +o++

Author’s Note: Chapter 2 can be found HERE