#tom refusing to say it back is such a funny little bitch move but also so genuinely heartening

[tomwambsgans]

you know, you can't just take my love and... bank it. and then take it with you to the love market, and see if you wanna invest in me.

2x10 / 3x1 / 3x2

[neon-junkie]

The O’Driscolls Daughter - CHPT.2

Summary: You’re Colms daughter, stubborn and temperamental like him, but you’ve got a kind heart and a soft spot for the poor stableboy that Colms gang torments.

Pairing: Kieran Duffy x f!Reader

Word Count: 3468

Rating: SFW

Tags: Colter, Grizzlies west, Strangers to friends to lovers, Slow burn, Flirting,  Arguments, Fights/

Notes: Y’all have poked (motivated) me to get this next chapter done so here u go! 

CHAPTER 1  |  Read on AO3

It's another lovely day in Grizzlies West. Despite the sun shining overhead, it's still cold as fuck. The men groan as they mope about the camp, waiting for orders off Colm, waiting for somebody to come and attack them, anything. They're practically waiting for paint to dry, beating each other up as a form of entertainment.

Tom's wasting the day by arm-wrestling some of the men. He's only winning purely from his size, targeting men much smaller than him to challenge. They're sat in what's left of a cabin, one wall is completely gone whilst the other three and the roof are barely standing.

Tom can feel his elbow going sore as it slowly slides across the crate, his opponent putting up too much of a fight for Tom's liking. His eyes flick over to the sudden movement, lighting up when he notices Kieran exiting the stables just a few meters away.

Shaking off his opponent, Tom calls out to Kieran. His opponent gives him a funny look, annoyed that he just bailed on the game, but grins as he realized what Tom was about to do.

"Boy, come here!" Tom calls out.

Kieran's head dips slightly, scurrying over, trying his best to avoid eye contact but still look in their direction.

"Yes, sir?" Kieran asks.

"Come play a game," Tom tells him as he pats his hand on the crate, though Kieran knows it's an order. An order he's happy to refuse.

"Oh? Oh, no. That ain't for me, sir," Kieran rejects.

"C'mon, kid. I'll go easy on ya," Tom chuckles. Everybody present knows that Tom will probably try to break Kieran's arm.

"Nahhh, I... I ain't one for that," Kieran waves his hands in front of his body, feet turned inwards. He has no idea how to escape this situation.

"Boy," Tom grunts as he stands up, taking a slow walk over to Kieran. "When I tell you to do something, you do it," Tom tells him, stopping a few inches from Kieran. Tom's got his chest slightly puffed out, shoulders back as he intimidates the poor stableboy.

"Sir, I'll lose, we both know that. Ain't much of a fight," Kieran explains to him, trying his best to remain a pacifist and keep this situation under control.

"Like I said, I'll go easy on ya," Tom tells him. Kieran gulps, his fingers twiddling together. He's about to speak until a familiar voice catches everybody's attention. It's your own.

"He said no, Tom," you tell Tom. You'd been nearby this whole time, sharpening your knife as you lean back against the ruins of another cabin. Either Tom had no idea that you were there, or he did and was trying to wind you up.

"You wanna challenge me instead? Create a distraction so this boy here can take the chance and run?" Tom asks you, his face turned towards you, though his body still faces Kieran.

"I ain't one for child-like games. What's next? You gonna ask me to play iSpy?" you chuckle as you holster your knife, leaving the whetstone on a nearby crate. A few of the men can be heard giggling, Toms head snapping over his shoulder as he glares at them, instantly shutting them up.

"I ain't afraid to beat a woman, you know that," Tom informs you as he finally moves away from Kieran, slowly approaching you. You take a few steps forward, meeting Tom halfway.

You're close. Noses almost touching, chest and stomach pressed against each other. Tom's got that mischievous glint in his eyes, eager to irritate you as much as possible. The men are watching, holding their breaths as they wait for something to happen... anything!

"That a threat, little Tommy?" you ask him, making him scowl.

"It is, and don't you know it," Tom responds. Kieran can be seen slowly shuffling away, trying to get some distance but still keeping an eye on the situation.

"What you gonna do, fat man?" you ask him.

Tom finally snaps, suddenly pushing you back. As he pushes your shoulder, his foot hooks itself behind your ankle, sending you falling backward, thudding against the snowy floor. You hear the snow crunch underneath you, your head beginning to ache from the impact.

Despite the landscape being mostly white, all you can see is red. Tom slips up, turning to the men as he points at you on the floor, laughing over his shoulder. They join in like the bunch of sheep they are.

A window has opened, and you're quick to jump through it. You spring to your feet, your fist clenching as you stand. Tom turns at just the right time, a perfect punch landing right across his face. You can hear the cracking of his jaw, feeling it swing against your knuckles.

Tom stumbles backward for a few seconds, finally landing on his ass as he holds his face. The men remain silent, and Kieran's in the background, watching all of this with wide eyes and an open mouth.

This woman, Colm O'Driscolls daughter, had just punched the soul out of Colms right-hand man, all for what? picking on a stableboy?

Colm always seems to appear at the wrong time. He shows up to find Tom on the floor, your fist still clenched and your brows still furrowed. Colm can clearly see that you've just hit his right-hand man, though he has no idea why.

"For fuck sake," your father says as he approaches the situation. "I wish I could spend just one single day without the two of you getting into a scrap. You're practically family! Why do you fight like this?"

Neither of you says anything.

"(Y/N), come with me. Tom, get yourself cleaned up and see me later," Colm orders the two of you.

You and Tom share a quick glance before you turn heel and walk, following Colm back to his cabin.

This feeling was far too familiar, that feeling you get when you're heading to the principles office, or when your boss has asked to speak with you privately. Your tail doesn't hide between your legs, you have no reason to be scolded, though as always, you know the blame will fall on you.

Colm takes his usual seat as you shut the door, sitting in your usual chair opposite him. He pours himself a drink from the bottle already on the table, swirling it around in his glass before taking a sip. He doesn't offer you one, he only does that when he's proud of you. Today was not one of those days.

"You were never a problem growing up. You were so obedient and calm. But now you're older and you're starting to spread your wings, all you seem to do is hit Tom with them," Colm tells you, having another sip of his drink before placing it down on the table. "Why?" he asks.

"Your bitch isn't as obedient as you think," you reply.

"Tom's got his flaws but don't we all?" Colm shrugs.

"Tom's got a lot more flaws than you think. You can shrug it off all you want, but that man isn't right in the head." You tap your finger against your temple as you speak.

"And what was it this time? What did he do that upset you?"

"He was picking on the men," you explain, your voice just as plain as his own.

"Which men?"

"Kieran."

"Who?" Colm asks, genuinely confused. Colm has always preferred quantity over quality, picking up men wherever he can find them, disposing of them faster than he picked them up.

"The stableboy?" You raise your eyebrows. Sometimes you remembered that this man right here is your father, you always wished you could forget.

"You..." Colm cute himself off, shaking his head. "You punched Tom because he picked on a fucking stableboy?!" Colm raises his voice as he speaks, ending in a shout.

"Do you want your men to be at each other?" You shout back. You really are your father's daughter.

"I want my men to get on with their jobs. Not fuss each other over fucking nonsense!"

"This ain't nonsense? Your pathetic excuse for 'men' bum about all day, picking on each other when they should be out working! Finding leads! Robbing folk! Not pissin' about."  

"You tellin' me how to run my gang?" Colm glares.

"Yes."

"You fucking run it then. Go on," Colm waves his hand at you in a shooing motion, hoping you'll chicken out.

"I will. You've seen what I can do, you know I'm good," you sit back, crossing your arms, your voice finally lowering. "I'm your child after all."

"Robbin' folk ain't nothin' like runnin' an entire gang. If you're so good then prove it to me. Maybe then I'll consider telling the men to stop picking on your stableboy," Colm copies your position without thinking, also leaning back with his arms crossed. He watches you hungrily, waiting for just a glimmer of fear to flash across your face. But it doesn't.

"Fine. I will. I've already been fishin' somethin' out. I'll get it done," you tell him, getting up from your chair and heading to the door, deciding the conversation was over.

"Oh, and (Y/N)?" Colm calls out as you open the door, already halfway through it. You stop in your tracks, sighing as you look over at him. He's smirking. "Take the stableboy with you," Colm orders.

You don't reply, exiting his cabin. You needed some time to yourself.

The sky has already turned orange, evening was here. You're hungry but decide to tell Kieran the bad news first, wanting to give him as much time to prepare as possible.

So off you go, heading to where Kieran practically lives. As you enter the stable, you feel a nice blast of warm air, wiping away the chill that is constantly on your cheeks and nose.

It's warm in here, all thanks to the horses. Kieran often overhears other gang members complain about how cold the decaying cabins and thin tents are, but thankfully, Kierans never really had any temperature issues.

The only time he gets chilly is when he's dragged outside for whatever nonsense. In the stables, he can stay warm and surround himself with good company - the horses.

Kieran's head snaps over his shoulder as you appear, shutting the doors quickly behind you. You could have sworn you overheard him mumbling to himself but you're almost certain it was probably some men outside.

He's fussing his horse, his hand resting on the animal's nose as he watches you stomp the snow off your boots.

"Mister Duffy," you greet him as you approach. He's still visibly shaken from earlier, and now there's a glint of fear in his eyes as he notices how pissed off you look.

"Miss, you really didn't have to do what you did earlier. I really appreciate it, but I don't want you gettin' in no trouble," Kieran tells you as he moves his hand from his horse's nose, resting it on his neck instead.

"I already told you, sweetheart, that those clowns need putting in their place and I'm more than happy to do it," you explain as you enter the horse's pen, your hand coming to gently stroke along Kierans horse.

This is the softest horse you've ever felt. Sure, the other horses are soft, never having that neglectful sticky feeling to their fur, but this one felt unreal. Maybe Kieran conditions his horse's fur every night? That'd explain why he spent so much time in here, cleaning his horse like his life depended on it.

"Well, I do appreciate it. Did Colm give you much trouble?" Kieran asks, watching your hand pet his horse, his eyes often flicking over to the rest of you.

"Nah. I don't think he can, he's my father after all," you shrug. "What's this gentleman's name?" you ask Kieran.

"Huh? Oh! You mean my horse?" Kierans eyes widen.

"Yeah."

"Branwen," Kieran tells you.

"Well, Branwen, you're real soft. Your rider here quite clearly loves you," You tell Branwen. He lets out a small nicker, puffs of chilled air coming from his nose, as if he was thanking you.

Kieran watches you in awe, his heart melting at the sight of you talking to his horse. He feels a little sick, the butterflies in his stomach dancing around to the sound of his heartbeat.

"Yeah, not to sound cheesy but he's my world," Kieran rubs the back of his neck, eyes flicking at the stable floor then returning to you. Either Kieran is overheating, or he's blushing. Maybe both?

"I know how you feel, (H/N) is my world too. I'd be lost without 'em," you reply as you nod in the direction of your stabled mount.

"Yeah. I ain't got much to enjoy in life, but at least I got someone to enjoy my time with," Kieran tells you as his eyes overlook Branwen, giving his horse a gentle rub under his jawline.

"Kieran?" you ask, his attention being drawn to you. "I don't mean to spoil the moment, but I came here to tell you something."  

"Oh, god. What is it?" There's fear to his voice, his flustered red cheeks fading back to his pale skin colour.

"I got a stagecoach robbery that's gonna be happenin' real soon. I understand that you ain't one for fightin', but Colms ordered me to take you with him. I thought I'd let you know in advance," you inform him.

Kieran lets out a deep sigh. "Guess this is my punishment," he says.

"No, it's my punishment," you correct him. Kieran gives you a funny look and you're quick to correct him again. "I mean, because Colm knows I'm soft on ya. He views his men as just... men, you know? I view them as human beings. So he's making me take you with me just to get me all worried and stuff," you roll your eyes and shake your head. Typical behavior from your father.

"You ain't gotta be worried about me, Miss. I'm just a stableboy," Kieran shrugs as he looks down at the floor.

"You are just a stableboy, but we need people like you! If it weren't for you, our horses would constantly be a mess. You're like, the foundation to a house. You get me? Without you, we'll just topple over," you explain to him. Kieran catches on to what you're saying, nodding his head in agreement, a smile creeping across his face.

"No ones ever put it like that before, thank you, Miss," Kieran replies, letting out a little laugh as he thinks about what you've just said.

"How many times have I told you to stop callin' me that? It's (Y/N). Don't be afraid to say my name," you tease him, his cheeks flustering again.

"Well, (Y/N), thank you," Kieran replies, a little sheepishly.

"Now, I gotta go get some dinner," you say as you exit the pen after giving Branwen another pat. "You get your guns ready. I'll make sure you have the safest job."

You flash Kieran a smile before heading out, quickly shutting the stable doors behind you to stop the cold air from seeping in. Yet again, you've left Kieran in a mushy state, his heart still thudding, finally allowing himself to let out the grin that he's been holding back on this whole time. He's like a child getting worked up over their crush, giving Branwen a hug, pretending he's you.

"It's happened again," Kieran tells Branwen, his eyes shutting as he smiles to himself, head still resting against Branwen's neck. "She's done it again, Branwen. I've got them butterflies back, I can feel my heart poundin' out my chest."

Kieran moves off his horse, moving to lean back against the fence so he can speak to Branwen properly.

"She called me sweetheart, told me to call her by her actual name, said she'd make sure I'm safe. All that real good stuff!"

Branwen lets out a snort, his head flicking up slightly. Kieran can see Branwen cheering him on, getting excited on Kieran's behalf.

"She met you as well! Ain't that nice! Introduced you to her and everythin'. You two are gonna be best buds before you know it," Kieran laughs, his voice a little lowered as he doesn't want to attract the attention of anybody who may be outside.

"I'm real nervous for this job though. But I know I'll be safe with her," Kieran worries, watching Branwen give him a little nod in agreement.

"Guess I should go clean my gun, huh?" Kieran sighs, pouting a little, hating the idea of going into combat.

"I'm gonna go get some dinner. I'll be right back, then we can talk a little more," Kieran tells Branwen as he makes his way out of the pen, pulling on his gloves before exiting the stable, off to pick at whatever scraps were left.

Branwen's sat down when Kieran returns. Kieran takes a seat beside him, leaning back against his horse as he eats. The two spend the rest of the night fawning over you, too star-struck to bother thinking about the job.

[spnsmile]

Cas' reaction when he finds out Dean's liver failure

I can't really imagine how except pure shock and immediate tackle 😂

On the other hand.. ✨

Dean doing everything just to get Cas' attention because he can't stand the angel ignoring him for many days after a petty quarrel. Except the Angel of the Lord is so done with his shit that Cas refuses to even look at him. But Dean knows Cas weakness: Cas could never stop caring about him . And he loves Cas for this absolute fact.

At first, it's all deliberate. 

He knows how Cas can't stand it when he's injured,  so Dean would pull the most outrageous stunts just to see Cas looking at him in concern. Sam called him an idiot when he noticed but Sam's not the one hungry for the angel's attention. 

So Dean times it. Needless to say,  he's an acrobat, though lately his left shoulder's been aching like a bitch. 

He begins with a fall on the stairs. Dean slips three steps down and lands on his stomach flat on the floor.  The air gets knocked out of his chest, he lets out an exaggerated groan that must've shooed birds outside and made the most excruciating expression. 

Both Sam and Cas rushed to his side, his brother asking him what hurts, 'what d'you think?' but Cas presses a finger on his forehead quickly upon seeing Dean's face without asking. Dean pulls away like he's burned. No way he's wasting any of his boyfriend's mojo for real. 

The look of surprise on the hunter's face is mirrored on the angel. 

And it worked.  

Castiel transfixes him a glare so deep and said warningly, "Dean."

Attention taken. Dean doesn't let him so Cas is on him the entire day. He noticed bruising on his stomach after it and tells himself not to get too much into it. 

The second time the chance opened, they are outside the car in an empty street.  Cas is still inside the impala while the brothers prepare the weapons. 

Dean gets a classic act of timing Sam shutting down the impala's trunk lid on his right hand. Of course it's just skin,  but Dean can always exaggerate. 

He yowls in pain while poor Sam frantically fumbles for the keys. Cas panics beside him when he checks the commotion and nearly ripped apart baby's lid away if Dean didn't snatch his red skin from the trunk, looking horrified. 

Cas this time grabs his wrist. Did not even let him speak and just heals him, telling Dean  Cas it's just a car in comparison to his limb so Dean doesn't talk to him for a day. Cas also unwittingly removed his bruising stomach. 

Third time's a real accident. Dean simply pretended to fix the sink's pipe when a jolting abdominal pain hits him bad, he knocks his brain out when he pulls up- the thud is heard all over the kitchen. Dean groans because the bump is real and his stomach is in pain,  so when he sees Cas already by the door, looking around the room where he heard Dean's cry, Dean calls for him. 

The two looked at each other,   the blue eyes round and wide while the green is teary from the pain. He watches as Cas walks toward him,  kneels down and looks him searchingly in the eyes. Questionningly at first, then alarm. 

He cradles Dean's cheeks on his palms,  fitting Dean there, making the hunter blink for a moment. Cas suddenly clicks his tongue like he's chastising himself before he scoops Dean to his arms and stands up,  carrying the hunter bridal style while the Dean complains aloud to be let down. Cas doesn't. 

Not even when Sam stops to look from the kitchen doorway.  One look at Cas'expression and Sam is moving out of his way,  not wanting to be involved. 

Dean goes on complaining until the corridor where Cas gives him this glare so piercing it shut the hunter's lip till they reach his room. 

Heart pounding when Cas stops at the edge of the bed,  Dean's thoughts crisscrosses on things they can both do,  except he feels nauseus and cold at the moment.

Then his heart skips a beat when he sees Cas look at their bed. 

For one wild moment,  Dean thought Cas would drop him there and just ravish him.  He saw the longing in the angel's eyes, so it's a surprise to him when Cas slowly puts him down and lays him across as gentle as possible like he's cradling a child. 

But then Cas pulls the hem of his shirt up away from his stomach.  Dean jerks up, excitement and nausea mixing in his body. Cas puts a hand on his shoulder,  eyebrows contracted, blue eyes solemn. 

"Don't move."

Dean blinks.  He wants to ask what's wrong but the look is enough to silence the hunter and just trusts the angel.  

"Dean,  what do you feel?"

"Huh? Uh... well,  I got a boner for one thing."

"We can take care of that later."

Dean chuckles, the shaking of his body making him groan.  Castiel holds his arm. "Dean?" the angel suddenly touches his right side with the tips of his fingers and presses down Dean's stomach. 

Dean chokes in pain,  tears now welling up as he struggled to breath.  Castiel quickly removes his hand, then gets his palm over Dean's stomach. 

There's a pause then-

Dean sighs at the warm energy circling his side. Cas is doing something miraculous on his abdomen, causing Dean to sigh in relief.  Then it's all gone. 

Dean blinks and looks around inquiringly. Cas is still frowning over his exposed stomach. 

"Cas?"

"How long have you been in pain?"

"Uh...  Huh?"

"Your liver was failing, Dean. How could I let this happen?  It's my fault. " Cas weakly says, slumping his ass down the floor while Dean scrambles to a sitting position with quick hand clutching the sleeves of Cas'trench coat. Afraid Cas would go away. 

"Hey,  hey... What did you just say?  I got liver...?"

"Failure." Cas whispers, head bowed down. 

"Okay." Dean frowns.  Is that why he's been feeling weird lately? "Uh...  So how's that your fault?"

"Because I'd been ignoring you for the past days..." Cas groans, slamming his palms on his eyes,  "If I hadn't neglected you, this wouldn't have happened."

Dean surveys the angel for a moment,  then he chuckles. It did not pain him anymore. Castiel glares up though,  "You think this is funny?"

" I think you're over accepting responsibilities.  Cas, how could my liver or balls' failure be your fault?  This is my body, my responsibility."

"You're my responsibility." Cas replies flatly,  "You're mine."

And that's when Dean sees how Cas sees him. 

His.

"Come here,  bed." Dean says,  patting the otherside of the bed.  Like magic, Castiel snaps his fingers and he stands up only in his boxers.  Dean smiles as Cas tackles him on the bed, making Dean his little spoon.

"My body's failure is never on you,  Cas." Dean explains quietly, "I'm human."

"With a boyfriend angel.  That should make a difference." Cas isn't appeased. His grumpiness makes Dean chuckle. 

"Are you going to heal me forever?  You know... Like stop my skin from getting wrinkles and make me stay like some ken-doll forever?"

"If you permit forever."

"Yeah,  but you're gonna date an old guy soo,  Cas..."

"I think there's beauty in age." Cas murmurs on Dean's nape,  nipping on the skin and sighing. "I think you'd look more beautiful with age, Dean."

"Like Tom Cruise?" Dean chuckles,  squiggling away from the position so he can turn around the bed to face his angel.  

"You're more, always will be. He doesn't even begin to compare. . " Cas says,  pulling Dean closer and inhaling his scent. "Your soul will always be the same to me,  Dean. No matter how your vessel looks like."

"You say that now.  Wait till my hair is all white and my skin's all wrinkly-"

"So be it. I think you'll still look hot."

"Doesn't sound sexy at all." Dean pouts. "I mean,  you're not the guy who has to walk around with a hot boyfriend on his arm like some pimp."

 Cas suddenly props himself on one elbow,  staring at his boyfriend with unequal intent,  "Do you mean that?"

"Uhh... ?" The twinkle on Cas'eyes made the hunter go back to what he said just now. "What?  The part of you being my pimp?"

"You and me staying together." Cas says breathlessly. Even Dean has to pause to take in the angel's too happy face. "You said..."

Dean frowns like this never occured to Cas?  Then he remembered.. He never asked nor prepared to pop up the question. He did

"Of course,  Cas. I mean,  you're the one who can ditch me when you get tired of fixing my failing liver or failing kidney or failing personality.  You're my it, Cas. Nothing to change that now."

"I'll never tire of you,  Dean. We will grow old together if you want and then share your heaven some day." 

"Second heaven, you mean. This is the first." Dean snuggles closer to Cas,  basking himself in the angel's warmth. 

"First it is."

"Of the many?" Dean asks. 

"Of the many." Cas promises. 

"Marry me." Dean looks Cas in the eyes,  ring won't do because at that moment he knows he can promise Cas the moon. 

Castiel gives him sunshine. 

"Oh, Dean. Yes. " 

#still dont know how to cut this 🔪

[wormmomma]

tyler, the creator: the very queer discography review!!!

Im bored of writing overly long threads on twitter so i wrote a look at tyler the creators discography and why hes gay and im gay and deserved to have his dick immortalized in gold when he dies. So tyler gregory okanma is a black man born in ladera heights california. He’s also my third favorite rapper and since he discovered my favorite rapper earl sweatshirt I guess he deserves goat status for that shit too. Tyler started his career around 17 years old as the ace the creator. He did features at the time with casey veggies and the inspirations in his flow to mf doom where already apparent even back then. From ace the creator mixtape you can already hear the very digital and jazz inspired pharrell production. Funny story if you look up any of his ace stuff now you'll mostly find some really old production that in the age of tyler the creator type beats doesn't really hold u all that great. From there Tyler went on to create odd futures and his first album bastard. He quite quickly followed up bastard with godlin. Goblin, bastard, and the OF tape vol.1 all feel pretty interconnected so im gonna speed round from worst to best. So odd future tape volume one is fun and punk and really crass, it's also completely eclipsed by odd futures other releases. I love odd future and the collective's ability too be both edgy teen skate rap garbage, and a risky artistic rap collective all at the same time. In odd future's first tape it seems pretty clear that tylers description of the groups early work as a bunch of niggas joking around in a studio is very apparent for better or worse. If you wanna get high with some friends can listen to some funny edgy and downright grimey tracks over left brains booking production skip this and listen to odd future's next mixtape but come back here to listen to some funny skits and a few proto mellowhype track with domo genesis. Goblin is Tyler's attempt to do a bigger darker more sprawling version of bastard but misses the mark. I like the album and I love singles on the album. Goblin the opening track is amazing and is a great look at tylers mental state attempting to live up to his newfound fame and anxiety about his infamy. I love yonkers and tron cat. Tyler says alot at this time that he doesn't make horrorcore and he's correct but the lack of emotional honesty and his immature deflections is really going off on all cylinders. If you dont wanna hear skits like “my bitch suck dick” and lines like “im not homophobic faggot” i would probably call it his worst album. Before i talk about bastard id like to go over his use of slurs and rape in his work. Tylers consistent lyrics about violence towards women and use of the lgbtq community really don't insult me. I feel like his lyrical content is filled with a clear look of how angry and insecure tyler was about not having a father or any way of processing his angst. Did he have to sound like a incel threatening to stalk and murder women who refuse to love him for over 3 albums? No, but i really enjoy looking at his early music. He doesn't shy away from how angry, sad and desperate he was at the time. That synthesis of need for fatherly love, anger from a lack of it and deteriorating mental state honestly makes the content more palatable. Also as a black trans women id rather hear tranny an faggot bars from a male rapper making intreeating music. Tyler at the time was being honest, angry and vulnerable not like eminem and action bronson who spit these bars with all the same rap bravado and violent anger toward women with zero pathos. Bastard is amazing, it's an intimate dark album. At the time it felt like it was tapping right into where I was at the time. The amount of mental anguish on bastards opening track really hit me. I was an angry kid with a lot of angst and bipolar disease so hearing a rapper yell about that same dysfunction really meant alot to me. The flows are amazing and it was a really good look at tylers ability to build a narrative. Wolf was tyler's next album. For a while wolf was my favorite album by tyler. His look at relationships and breakups on bimmer and ifhy are amazing and are expanded on his future releases. Find your wings and treehome are also a good look at his more melodic influence. It was such a good album I actually bought the mrech for and went to see Tyler at afropunk. Also hearing an entire song about the death of his grandma really hit me, my grandfather died around the same time. Cherry bomb was bad, now moving one. Ok im  joking i've listened to it two or three times but its really not worth going back to even though tyler put his all into it. The soul features and amazing production is worth listening to but even Tyler admits he rushed the album a little and that he needed to blow people away next time. Flower boy, is one of the most important albums in hip hop. That's it. Bar none. It was my favorite release of 2018. Flower boy is about tylers newfound isolation with his fame, and how he drives cars by himself in beautiful la vistas. Its also about how he’s gay (or bisexual). There are ALOT of stupid takes on this album. There is a contingency of tyler stans that think tyler has been “playing a character” since bastard. Now I'll admit that wolf haley and dr.teecee are clearly characters; they are also artists' representations of tyler's mental state. If wolf haley has adhd and no father that means tyler also has those issues. So whether or not Tyler is playing a character he has in fact “been kissing white boys since 2004”. I also have seen an insipid article that asks if “tyler the creator should be accepted into the lgbtq community” due to his homophobia? Much more controversial and actually homophobic and transphobic people are in this community hes tyler the creator, not milo yinnaoplous. I also dont think that it occurs to the reviewer that alot of gay men are very hmophobic before they come out and that self hate is very common. Lyrics like “im not gay i just wanna dance to some marvin” also has a much deeper context now. Listening to older releases you can see how in your face tyler was about his queerness. He even said he filmed himself kissing his friend Lucas to prove he wasn't a homophobe. I'm happy Tyler grew enough to make an album not only about being attracted to men but how lonely he felt in and out of the closet. As someone who came out as bisexual at the time it came at a perfect time. Being  gay is isolating and confusing and when you do you lose alot of friends and family. Garden shed, who dat boy, and 911 are real standouts. His collaboration with kali uchis was also so fucking smooth and she a born r&b star. Tyler gained a grammy nomination off the album and said he loved the feeling of finally making popular catchy music people wanna sing the lyrics too, so he followed it with igor. Igor opens with this addendum on the back of the physical album: 

This might be fiction, this might be about igor but it is fully about tyler okanga. The album is very hard to parse and barely has any rapping. It's more of a pop experimental album with a lot of lofi synth production. Tylers production chops are full force here. Igor is melodic, sad and full of the same anger and obsession from his previous albums. Its just more mature and really gay, and i fucking love it. Tyler was dealing with a tumultuous relationship with a guy and his refusal to be with tyler exclusively. Its about a breakup. A love tragedy that only becomes more depressing after the argument on a boy is a gun, the breakup in my love is gone, and the sad slump back into needing closure in can we be friends. The album is fun to sing to, and fucking devestating. I've dealt with a lot of similar issues with love and obsession so to hear it so clearly illustrated on igor really hit me. I think the album becomes even more depressing with the unreleased track best interest, about tyler being a side nigga. This is the kind of music that's sometimes made in r&b and pop but never in rap. There was an interview where Tyler says he hated his voice which is why he edits it so evident on igor. Tyler also said he wanted to send these songs to rihanna and Justin Beiber but they didn't want them, as cool as it sounds. I'm happy tyler was able to tell his own story. I would also recommend magic wand since it's my favorite track on the album and kicks you in the face with how angry and heartbroken Tyler was at the time. 

Tyler is an artist that talks and speaks about how he feels all the time, he's also a person who feels enigmatic and mysterious somehow. I think it has to do with how constantly he's put to the side of his other hip hop contemporaries. He always seems to be making music Tom weird, controversial and experimental to be treated like asap rocky, vince staples, or the late mac miller. A fact that feels ironic since he worked with all of those artists, lil wayne, and even kanye west. I'm as big a stan for tyler as he is for Pharrell, if it wherent forever I'd never take rap seriously and would never have chosen to make my own music. As a black trans woman I find a lot of tylers work really relatable. I've been in alot of the angry hopeless situations Tyler talks about in his music. I think he's the artist who hits me the most on a personal level and yeah when i was depressed i sat in my bedroom and listened to bastard in my low moments. I like riding in the car and listening to all of flowerboy. Igor is amazing as well for almost half a decade it's been amazing growing up and hitting the same emotional beats Tyler went through5 in his work. Hearing about him coming out as gay ajd dealing with very similar backlash mad me feel less alone if im being honest. Tyler has said he wants to take a more production heavy role in the industry moving forward but he says that a lot, i think as long as he has a story to tell he's always going to make music. His music feels like a diary and I'm happy to read it and sonnet to it in all its beauty and ugliness. 

Hi my name is lua o'reilly i make music on soundcloud.com/wormmother

If you liked this review let me know and I'll do a look into earl sweatshirt.

[thatonebirdsposts]

All of them. I’m replacing Frog this time, answer all 86 👁👄👁

Mother why do this to me =")

1. Not all! I don't care about all that

2. If they are healthy that 3000%!!!!

3. Ohhh this one will remain a mystery cause we won't open the trauma

4. I am not🤡🤡

5. I think so? It's not often that I fall hard so idk

6. I suppose so

7. Yep!! I don't find it that hard??

8. An absolute dork, funny, a bean stalk and also a Teddy bear-

9. *kesha voice* HOT AND DANGEROUS-

10. NOPE! Love takes time and lots of trust

11. Heck ye! A whole party with my friends and family to celebrate me and my partners love?? SIGN ME UP

12. Depends on the level of betrayal but normally no

13. Pfft nope! I'm pretty easy going and don't see why I should be jealous? I don't own anyone

14. Yesh🤡

15. Not yet!!

16. Nº but i sure would like to!!

17. FUCK Yesss gimme that PDA

20. Obviously 💅🏼💅🏼

21. Oh definitely =")

22. Maybe?? Who's to say

23. Yes????? Why would get in a relationship and cheat??? If I don't have anymore feelings I'll break up? Or maybe talk about an open relationship??

24. Maybe! It would be nice tbh

25. I mean with miss rona around I don't think I would be able to enjoy it much but I guess I do??

26. Pfft yeah👀👀 heard that one too many times and bitches be lying so-

27.HMHM😌😌 they have my whole heart

28. Not as far as I know

29. No and I refuse to do so. Its honestly disgusting

30. I did and I will reduce my chest😌💅🏼

31. Nein! And I plan on keeping it that way vc a bitch has better things to do

32. Oop- yes and it's not a fun time lemme tell ya

33. Will not open that trauma can today

34. My asexual ass physically cant do it-

35. Oui oui

36. Yes and I hated it-

37.hmmmm I don't think so

38. OOF YES YES

39. I guess so?? Haven't we all

40. Nah fam... Too much brain work

41. Yokes no and I don't want to

42. I don't count?? They move when it feels right to move???

43. Maybe 8 months?? I haven't has one in a long time

44. 2??relationships aren't really my priority

45. KSKSKSK I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I ATE FOR BREAKFAST

46. Eehhhh qualified

47. I'm ageless 👀👀 a creature of the night-

48. That I'm glad they found someone they can be happy with

49.HU👏MOR👏 and honesty

50.i mean he was sweet and we ended on good terms so I guess??

51. Oh definitely

52. Many people. They all at some point betrayed my trust or hurt me deeply and I don't got time for toxic hoes

53. No bc my ass is single-

54. Oof so many people

55. This day he told me that he loved me and that I was everything to him and the only girl in the world and the next day when I went to kiss him he said he was just very drunk and goofing around with his friends and went to flirt with another girl

56. I'm chubby, my back is terrible, curly hair, tan skin, DIMPLES, very sensitive eyes, sensitive ears annnndddd birthmark in the shape of my country

57. SEE YOU LATER SUCKER-

58. Food, cuddles, movie marathons, walks on the park and books

59. (Am littol creachure-)

60. 2 years

61. Their SMILE and posture

62. Kiss my hand in that old couple way

63. People who feel phisical attraction for one another and [redacted]

64. When you are unfaithful to the person you are in a relationship with

65. I don't have one-

66. I don't know?? Is this a sex ask??? Ksksks I honestly don't know

67. Us chilling and watching the sunset

68. Panromantic

69. I don't get turned on so I guess nothing??

70. Nothing??

71. I haven't had one of those in so long I can't remember

72. None kdmdmdk

73. Come pick me up and take me to a cute park while eating mc Donalds

74. Nice eyes and smile?? I don't ask for much I think

75. This one guy that I met in a party found me in school and just... Bowed and kissed my hand while saying 'You look lovely today angel' gave a peck on the cheek and a flower... I swear I melted

76. I made the a little box full of memories of us and photos

77. If you're all adults I don't give a shit who you date

78. One time I ate like 10 cupcakes and I blamed the dog-

79. I guess when my little cousin was born and I was like... 10 so I wanted attention??

80. Today

81. My friend Noah, My friend P., ZENDAYA MY QUEEN, Queen Beyoncé and Tom hiddleston

82. My father

83. A boy who is a family friend

84. We worked better as friends

85. I don't think so???

AAAAAA I'M DONE!! MY HAND HURTS-

[bi-lullaby]

I loved your last rankings so much that I'm sending you another fun (?!) challenge! How would you rate all these male GA characters from your favorite to least favorite, no ties allowed? :) Alex, Derek, Richard, Mark, Owen, Jackson, Burke, George, Andrew, Linc and Ben? Good luck, and as always, feel free to include your reasons why because I love your answers!

Ohhh boy you give me life with those asks! Here we go:

1 - As no surprise to anyone: Alex. My baby had the best character development I’ve ever seen, really, brcaus ewhile it was huge, it was also paced and believable and stabilished and non-linear. He was a huge asshole with a concealed heart of gold in season one. In season 15, he’s a golden boy with a concealed asshole side, and the growth/diminishment of those sides weren’t always inversely proportionate, but adjusted to what each characteristic was brought out more by his surroundings/worked more on by himself. Also, he’s the person that has stuck with mer for the longest and through the most, which would put him in a high place in this list even if he wasn’t my favorite on his own. I also adore how, thematically, he’s so moved by the women in his life (bot just the romantic i terests while we are at it) for the betterment of himself and hsi ways. It’s not like Owen’s “I’ll need her to take care of me emptionally and shape herself to my desires so I can be in a good place, it’s recognizing those positive influences in his life and trying to emulate them/work with them/learn from them. Also about his theme, itms less the worn-out “guy is validated in being an asshole bc he had a tough life” and more “guy learns that his tough life doesn’t mean he gotta act like an asshole”. I love this character so much, ugh.

2 - Ben. A freaking Disney prince would be a sleeazy douche in comparison. I was so weirded out when Shobda decided to give so much focus to this random-ass character, then I was really turned off by his storyline with the cutting people open and all that (not necessarily because I thought he was wrong, I just felt the storyline was handled awkwardly and made him sound pelutant and irresponsible instead of a promissing, if stubborn, future surgeon. I’ve yet to watch Station 19, but this angel with a scalpel and a fire hose for wings deserves his own goddamn spin-off, for sure.

3 - My baby Andrew. Yeah, he is not that developed, has been inconsistent, his change from “freaking out over Maggie being his boss” to “marvellung at Meredith’s every movie even though she’s kinda even more his boss because she owns the hospital” was... A B R U P T. But I really enjoy this new Andrew - as a side note: I could not care less for him during the whole Sam storyline, he seemed like a toned down Jonhy Bravo - He’s smart and sweet and funny and worships Mer like the Wonder Woman she is. His relationships with Arizona, Amelia, Jo, Carina and now Alex need more screentime because they’re great (or have the potential to be so). He’s competent and brilliant and selfless (dropping the charges on Alex even if he was completely in the right, taking the blame for mer now) and so tender (his absolute gentleness in peds, taking care of Amy after the operation, being a moody, emotive boy because he lost his love instead of a macho men...). The future holds great things for him, and I’m excited to watch them unfold!

4 - Not on your list but I love: Tom. Boy is he nice. As I was figuring out this order, I realized he reminds me a lot of my favorite character (Dean Winchester) - or at least what I think Dean would be if he was older, richer and lived without the Supernatural World and so many traumas. His talk to April was so moving and I felt it really helped. He doesn’t stand on a moral high horse: He does what he thinks is right and damned be judgment. He’s empathetic, he’s romantic, he treats Teddy RIGHT. He deserves to have his own storyline and be more developed and show us kore of his awesomeness.

5 - Jackson. As I said in my ships rating answer, I’ve only started to care for him recently, but I really do care. He’s not a character I’d, like, write fic about, or long rants and meta, but I love his sibling-esque relationship with Mer and his relationship with Maggie and the way he connects with his mom and how this spoiled, immature transfer with something to prove became a respected, innovative surgeon and father who’s secure of himself and ready to explore different paths and ways and worldviews. I just wish him, and the Grey’s fandom, would be less defensive about the callout of his privileged life. Like. I’ve seen people write paragraphs upon paragraphs about how Maggie was a bitch for calling him privileged. And he is (for his hoards upon hoards of money growing up). That’s not too hard a concept to grasp. Plus, it’d be nice if he could treat Maggie as less of a consolation prize/second chance. Just because faith (or lack thereof) was a source of tension in his previous marriage, and he feels like changing that would have made everything better, doesn’t mean the same applies to his current relationship, or that Maggie is the one who should change -he learned, learned, and is back in square one seeing only his side of it - I really hope this season treats him more kindly and gives him happiness and peace!

6 - Richard. I love him for his parental-and-ish relationships, specially to Maggie, Mer and Jackson, but to Bailey and Callie too. That’s my favorite aspect of him, watching those gives me a nice, warm feeling in my tummy and puts a smile on my face. There’s some aspects of him I find either boring or unpleasant, and I think it’s kinda annoying how him retiring has been a theme/conflict since, like, season one, and fast-foward ten years and he’s basically an entity at the hospital. Like? What? Was the point? You’ve waisted my time? For nothing? But he’s a solid, reliable character you can’t really hate and who brings more good than bad to the show by far. As a side note: one day I will yell at him for his treatment of Maggie after she talked about HER OWN HISTORY and he basically called her a mistake (although he apologized pretty soon and she forgave him so so will I).

7 - Mark. He was great and all that, but never sparked that love some characters did. I was sad when he died, I loved his scenes and relationships, I just am not invested in him. Plus the immaturity in his relationship with Lexie pisses me off a bit, as does his “man whore” personality.

8 - Link. Genuinely love him, he’s been nothing but sweet and kind and fun and helpful this entire time! I cheered for Merlink sooooo much imat first, and I really wish their friendship will be developed! Him and Jo are everything I never knew I needed. He has no arguable flaws besides being so sculped it freaks me out a little bit, but he isn’t higher up in my rank because there isn’t much material for that yet, but expect a climb as he becomes more and more regular.

9 - Burke. He was kinda sweet and did a good thing for Cristina (the hospital). He was also manipulative and arrogant and voundary-crossing in their relationship. I might like him better if it was bot for Burktina, but we will never know.

10 - Owen. Toxic as fuck, annoying, controlling, disgusting. Those are all things that very much apply to Owen in a lot of situations. Screaming at Cristina for “murdering their baby”? YIKES. Big no no. He was not suited for romantic relationships at all and I wish the show would realize that and allow him that space and breathing time without being stuck in a complicated relationship with loads of baggage or a love triangle. Because that’s my whole thing about him: I believe he has room for growth. His relationship with April is pretty amazing, he was always so considerate and gentle with her, all the time, and I want to see more of that bond. He loves kids and can be really good with them, he has a lot of things to work out with the traumas of his father’s death + war + his sister’s story. Why not focus on that? Why not show him growing and processing and bettering himself and living up to the potential he has? I feel like they gave the all the wrong romantic storylines to the character who’s otherwise really good and that’s such a shame because I really enjoyed him at first. Lets see what happens from now on, and if he gets a dose of tv’s “heterosexual love and a nuclear biological family solve everything!” medicine or if this is a turning point for him.

11 - Derek. He never really had any appeal to me. Not his face, not his personality, not his storylines or plot points pr the actor. That’s reason enough for him to rank low, but I also think he had some really bad traits. He was arrogant and condescending and had a God complex and was sexist and pushy and just not great for the people around him. Exploiting Amy’s addiction being outed to steal surgeries? Refusing to give Mer credit on their clinic trial? Putting ultimatums on his girlfriend that she either has to be ready for a full, committed relationship or end things, then call her a slut when she sleeps with other guys after they broke up? Cheating on Addison after deciding to work things out? Stringing mer and addie along? Not saying he was married in the first place? Pushing Mer’s boundaries after she was clearly uncomfortable with having slept with her boss? Refusing to have an inch of empathy for Mer’s action regarding the trial despite her complicated history with the people she was trying to help (who were her friends, actually?)? Telling his depressed girlfriend that she should be concerned the happiest part of his day was flirting with another girl from the bar? Ratting out on Richard to the board because he wanted the spot? Not acknowledging Mer’s trauma after the shooting? Kissing nurse Rose while building the dream house? Kissing his student while being married in NY? Pushing his wife to move and saying his career was more important than his after he had compromised on letting her shine? All things that, isolated, can even be understood on context and “everyone makes mistakes”, but that when put together, make it pretty clear it’s a pattern of someone with very little regard to the people around him. Was he a good surgeon? Yeah. Great father as well. He also had some interesting relationships and iconic scenes, truly, I can recognize that. I hurt for the people he loved and left behind (and I genuinely think he loved them and meant well), but he himself I don’t miss at all.

12 - I think George is the clearest contrast between how old greys handled matters of sexism and gender and sexuality and how it does now. He was such a sleazy nice guy at times, it is unbearable to me. And he ranks lower than Derek because A) His relationships also bored me while Derek’s could pique my interest at times, B) There’s no talk about his mistakes. Remember when he (in his own words) took advantage of Meredith being on a terrible, delicate, vulnerable place (still hiding her mother’s Alzheimer’s and seeing a person be blown to pieces and being dumped by who she thought was the one and being rejected by her father for the second time after seeing him for the first time in tweenty years) and, knowing that she was not interested in him, pursued her, then after she started crying because of the literal pile of shit she was having to carry around (and still trying to preserve his feelings), got mad at her and everyone sided with him? It baffled younger me to bits that what Mer had “done” was so terrible, it has not stoped bafflinn me in the years that have passed since. Can you imagine any of the girls crying during sex because they’re so overwhelmed and feel like that’s a mistake, and the guy freaks out on them and they’re instantly ostracized by the narrative and characters? That’s essentially criticizing her for the right of saying no, of stopping when she doesn’t want to continue, of not giving away her time and feels just because a goofy guy who is her friend feels entitled to them. That’s the word: entitled. He literally says he “saw her first”. How’s that not Nice Guy 101? I would understand his ego being bruised, but the guilt tripping and the bitching and the fact none of that is treated as a fucking creepy thing? Yikes. Also how he treated Callie, who deserved so, so much better. And even Olivia who was perfectly lovely and did nothing wrong besides having sex with more than one guy without breaking either of their trusts because she wasn’t in a relationship with any of them. Did he do some good things? Sure did! Joey’s surgery costs being cut, helping Bailey give birth, some of his interactions with patients were really sweet, and he died giving his life for someone else. It’s just that consequence-less sexism and entitlement that never gets adressed and gets treated as not only valid, but right, that makes him go rom unappealing to downright hated for me. Better left in the past where people can misplacedly idolize him!

Thank you so much for asking, I love those thought-inspiring asks! <3

[whimsicalethnographies]

My Thoughts on Endgame

Major spoilers and a TL;DR on how it all collapsed under its own wibbly wobbly timey wimey logic

So, to start, it was fine.  Like, it was just fine.  There were parts I liked, parts I hated, parts I refuse to except as canon (and may not have to), and parts that just didn’t make any damn sense.

And at the bottom of it all, is how the movie was “a gift to the fans” and, while unspoken, a swan song.  The fan service was TOO heavy, and it really felt as though they thought of their fanservice moments, and then built the story around those, rather than building a story and finding fanservice moments to sneak in.

Ok, things I liked:

There were genuinely funny moments, most of which didn’t feel smushed in.  Nobody likes the stairs Hulk, and I’m glad that Steve has accepted that sometimes his Cap lines are a little Too Much.

While I hated the death, I do like that Tony Stark is literally the messiah of the universe.  He didn’t owe anybody anything anymore, but he still took the step and made the sacrifice to protect his wife and his reality and his children.  Plural.

I did like Tony being done, wanting out, yelling at the group.  He was at his end and couldn’t do it anymore, and while there are legit discussions to have about CW--I think they were both wrong in a way--but the fact is he was right about the greater threat and nobody believed him.

I can’t believe a dorky photo of Peter Parker looking like a fish and messing up bunny ears and Tony Stark not smiling saved the universe.

Tom Holland is gonna win an Oscar some day.  I knew what happened going in--I HATE not knowing--so while I got teary during several points, I started blubbering when he said, “we won, Mr. Stark.  Mr. Stark, we won.  You did it, sir.”

RDJ should win an Oscar for this.  There were moments that were OOC but he still put everything into it.  Him, Nat, and Peter were really the only ones I *felt* in this movie.  

Their reunion hug--Peter coming back and being Purely Peter, and Tony looking at him, like oh my god, he’s exactly the same and I can’t believe he’s rambling like this I missed him so much.”

“Activate Instant Kill!”  Oh, my sweet baby boy Peter.  You kept the gauntlet safer than longer than anyone.

Tony Stark has been my Pretend Superhero Dad since I first saw Iron Man in 2008 in a dollar theater while munching on a sneaked-in Whopper.  He is Iron Dad, both to Morgan and his Spider-son and he took an extra step, one he didn’t have to do, to make sure they both made it ok.

Also, and I love Carol, but Thanos yeeted her the fuck off the field with the power stone.  Tony Stark withstood the power stone using his nanotech shield on Titan.  Most Powerful Avenger.

Scott is a joy.  

Cap and Mjolnir was an okay scene I enjoyed, but it was a prime example of writing the story around fanservice.  Yeah, it was fun, but it was better to imagine he couldn’t fully lift it in AoU because he knew about Bucky and the Starks, so he wasn’t fully worthy.

Now, the things I *didn’t* like:

How did Carol find the Benetar?  And how did she get it back?!  Like, I know because she’s the embodiment of the Space Stone she technically has omnipresence and/or is capable of light speed, but does that extend to other objects?  Wouldn’t it have torn the Benetar apart?  

The time jump was *off.*  And I have a hard time believing Tony would have just moved on like that.  I think he would have tried, but it was too easy, considering.

The strange mismatch between desolation--NYC, arguably the most important city in the world, is a ghost town, while other places are fine?  More on infrastructure problems later.

Hulk dabbing.  Come on.  Was that a joke on Bruce being old and out of touch, or are people still dabbing in 2023?

Thor.  Oh Thor.  His PTSD was treated as a joke--save his convo with Frigga--and it sucked, especially since they did so well with Tony’s PTSD.  That’s the writers, who we all know have had their noses up Cap’s butt since forever.

The fact that it’s implied Pepper knew Tony wasn’t really happy when he went to talk to her about solving time travel.  That he wasn’t settled, that this still weighed on him, even when it was hopeless.  Why’d she let him build that life then?  

“You can rest now.”  Yeah, ok.  Suffer so much, finally get what you want in your grasp, then your reward is death.  See above.  It cheapens his sacrifice because it’s implied he was never fully immersed and happy with his life.

Nat got done dirty.  I wasn’t ok with it.  I know it was supposed to be the final, “erase the red in her ledger” moment but why?  Like Tony, she already had. 

The infrastructure issues.  The universe was halfed, then doubled, five years apart.  Even if we accept that all of Peter’s friends and Flash were snapped, still doesn’t fly.  See below for a possible out.

Cap.  Oh Cap.  My guy is dead but at least he’s The Hero.  But they ruined Cap’s character.  I don’t for a second believe he’d just sit and hide with Peggy.  And they discussed heavily what happens when you subtract something from a timeline, and the splits, but what happens when you ADD something?  I know the implication is that he was always Peggy’s husband, but it still doesn’t work, for the timelines stuff AND his character.  And who’d he steal the shield from?  He took something!  And I don’t for a single second believe he went to Vormir.  Nope.   This was Steggy fanfic.  And I don’t honestly care, but the fact is that he’s been working on moving FORWARD.  A man out of his time trying to find himself.  He literally took a step backwards.

Ok, adding on to that, the timey wimey nonsense.  The movie spent SO MUCH TIME explaining the logic of their own rules and then don’t follow them.  Here are some diagrams from my childhood bestie who gets time shit more than I do.

Apparently here is what they were trying.

They seesaw back and forth, but in the end Timeline F is the same as Timeline A, or the one they started from.

BUT, here’s her diagram of what actually happened:

It’s a big fat mess, and if the End Timeline is F, then the timeline where Tony snaps is D, and it got very confusing very fast.  She’s going to type it up for me, but apparently the last third of the movie can’t exist per their own logic, least of all the end, especially because we don’t know exactly what Tony wished for.  Was it the destruction of Thanos?  What happens when you add a past to a future then delete that past?  Where’s that timeline?  What happened with Steve’s stuff?  LOKI? A1 never ended because they literally took it. It’s not there anymore.  Steve stealing the Pym Particles?!  He took something and didn’t put it back. Another branch off.  Did Tony wish, “give me what I need to fix this?”  IF he did that, she posits, he smushed the timelines together to make everything coherent, AND potentially fix the infrastructure issues, so while A Tony’s BODY may have died, which Tony was it?  Did he have a moment in the soul stone, like Thanos?  Is that a requirement?  What did he do/say there?  (Also, just pointing out, never trust a funeral without a body, and the power of the Soul Stone is literally that no death is permanent.  That’s its canonical power!!)

There’s so much mess and I’ll have more when my friend sends along her stuff.  But I have NO problem deleting most of this from my mind, and I already have ideas to fix it, but I’ll leave those stories in the hands of people better able to tell them (I’m looking at you, @iron--spider) because I’m a dialogue bitch myself. 

I told @iron--spider last night I felt adrift, and typing this out I know why.  I’m not mourning, I’m not excited.  I’m devastated by Tony’s death but there’s so many logic holes my brain isn’t even struggling to see a way around it.  I’m livid about Steve, because he went backwards.  Thor’s trauma was played for laughs.  I have no satisfaction because of ALL THE HOLES, and because they literally wrote a story around fanservice--a huge amount of it their own--instead of writing the story and then adding fanservice to it.  

It was fine.  I’ll probably buy it when it’s released, but I don’t need to see it again.  And I’m curious about Far From Home because of the infrastructure but I don’t know if I’ll wait until it’s out on video just because I don’t have any urge to watch Peter Parker mourn another parent.

In the meantime, until the fix-its start rolling in, here’s a ready-made fix-it that Iron--spider wrote last year, to hold us through:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/15183011/chapters/35211239

It was fine.  And so full of holes it doesn’t even cement its own canon, despite what Disney officially decided to put on the big screen.  

“I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.”

[amazingmsme]

You’ve seen Umbrella Academy right? Got any headcanons for the siblings? :D

YES I DO! I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH! I'll do headcanons in order of their numbers. Putting it under the cut cause I got carried away & they got longer than expected 

Luther-my big boy-he's always really serious & so the others will try to do everything they can to make him laugh-like it's a game they play & whoever makes him laugh wins-one time Klaus won just by screaming "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!" & just fucking decked Diego right in the face. Luther couldn't stop laughing for 5 minutes straight-when they would get too loud & their dad was gonna get onto them, he always tried to take the fall-he's a big ol softie-totally cries like a baby when any animal in a movie dies-his favorite food is lasagna. He'll eat the whole pan by himself if no one's watching him, so Grace usually had to make two just in case-his laugh is really loud & booming. Allison likes to tease him that it shakes the whole room-being the "oldest" he likes to pick on all the rest of them, even now when they're all adults -he's the biggest tickle monster ever omg he'll just scoop up anyone that's near & doesn't let them go until he feels like they've had enough-he's ticklish too tho, & if you think his siblings don't take advantage of that you're dead wrong-his underarms are definitely his worst. Whenever he holds something above one of their heads they just dig their fingers in under his arm & it comes crashing down

Diego-the angstiest lad-he would always wrestle with Luther when they were kids & pouted when Luther won-if he gets over excited or emotional his stutter will come back for a few seconds-he played the knife game a lot & one time accidentally stabbed his hand. Five & Klaus laughed their asses off as he cried & Grace had to doctor his hand-he always acts super tough & broody all the time but actually is a pretty sweet dork-he isn't the biggest fan of his laugh so he has a fake chuckle he uses instead. His family are all like "wtf that's not how you sound"-you ever heard Tom Hardy laugh? That's what he sounds like-it's really high pitched & bubbly -it embarrasses him so it takes effort to get him laughing like that, but if they ever want to hear it they just have to squeeze his knee & he falls back in loud laughter-he tries to act like he's not ticklish & will hold out for as long as he can before he gives up-his hips and thighs are the worst & he gets so desperate it's adorable-like he'll be a begging pleading mess after only a few seconds-no lie he pulled a knife on Five when he snuck up on him & squeezed his hips-he gets embarrassed about how ticklish he is & if anyone teases him about it he blushes SO hard

Allison-my cool daughter-she's literally so caring but doesn't always know how best to show it-the Mom Friend-after mending her relationship with Vanya they have sleepovers like once a month-if any of the siblings are sick she makes a big pot of soup-would kill for Claire if need be-the master of hide & seek cause she's played it so much with her daughter-a very teasy ler-she'll wiggle her fingers at you to let you know what's coming before chasing you-100% calls herself the tickle monster-has the sweetest laugh ever-her neck & knees are her sweet spots but her stomach is a close second-will literally screech if you scratch behind her ears

Klaus-the very definition of disaster gay(pan)-either looks like a trash ass hobo or an utter king, there's no in between-after he gets sober he practices his abilities practically day & night with Ben so he can summon Dave-once he finally does they hold each other for so long & Klaus cries for 15 minutes straight before he's able to speak coherently -Dave stays pretty consistently after that, tho not as much as Ben-the fact that no one ever takes him seriously actually hurts his feelings a good bit but he's Klaus so he can't let them know it affects him-pretty secretive about his power cause he doesn't like talking about it-tried his best to keep his ptsd a secret from the others but Diego picked right up on the signs & once things calmed down after the apocalypse he told the rest of the family-after getting better with his ability he summoned Ben so that the others could see him. He was the only one not to cry cause he's used to seeing him constantly(but he did tear up from seeing everyone so emotional)-says the most random things whether he's high or not-once ate a tube of toothpaste because he refused to go to the store & buy groceries -a very bouncy & giggly boy-just has so much pent up energy-everyone always gangs up on him cause he says something annoying or just cause-low key does things to provoke his siblings-if you get his ribs or underarms, congrats you've killed him-his feet are pretty bad as well-but his hips are def the worst. & since he's so skinny all you have to do is drill your thumbs into the bone to drive him up the wall insane-now that Ben can actually touch him without phasing through him he totally tickles him all the time-Klaus honestly likes being tickled cause he thinks it's fun & it helps him relax-but you better watch out, cause as he likes to say, karma is one hell of a bitch-he's super teasy, but in like a casual way? Like he can destroy someone while also having a completely normal conversation. He'll even sh them if they're laughing too loud!-loves to act oblivious while tickling you. He'll be all "why are you laughing, I'm not that funny! Oh I'm sorry, does that tickle? I didn't even notice"

Five-he's a very feisty boi-ultimate sass master -literally has a comeback for everything-he's really touch starved after spending so much time alone in the apocalypse -time traveling fucked with his brain so he mutters incoherently to himself a lot-hates that he appears younger than his siblings because he's older & wiser damnit!-uses his young appearance to his advantage tho, so it has its ups & downs-ever since his rediscovery of puppy dog eyes he can get almost whatever he wants-he can hide anywhere cause of his small size, so good luck trying to find him-misses Delores with all his heart. With his messed up mind he saw her as an actual person & losing her hurt him -he uses his ability to trap & corner his siblings so that he can attack them-like Diego or someone will tease him & try to sprint away only for Five to pop up in the doorway leaning casually like "oh I'm sorry, did you think I'd let you get away with that?" before he tickles him-he will show absolutely No Mercy, once he gets a hold of you, he won't let go until he feels like it-also uses his ability to dodge out of family tickle fights cause he knows they'll get him if he doesn't -like Klaus, he's also ganged up on, & it's even easier since he's tiny compared to the rest of them-his laugh is a really loud cackle & his eyes & nose scrunch up a lot, it's adorable-he swears like a sailor when tickled & thrashes around, but nothing really helps-he claims he's "too old for this shit" but Luther's like "you're never too old for this" before straight up murdering him

Ben-my dead son-it's hard for him to see all of his family but being unable to interact with them-he just wishes he can hug them & talk to them one more time-when Klaus finally made it happen, he was so overjoyed it was the sweetest thing ever-sick & tired of all the hentai jokes unless he's the one making them-used to be embarrassed about his power but now realizes how cool he is-was already bffs with Klaus when he was alive but they've gotten closer now that he died-pretty easy going & wants to have fun-helped keep everyone together & kept them from tearing each other's throats out, so once he hit the dust the family just kinda drifted apart-the fact that he has powers helps him stay around even when Klaus is high. Plus he's just stubborn & doesn't want to leave -gets kinda sad when he sees the other kids messing around & targeting each other cause he can only watch-his worst spots are his back, stomach & hips & he basically will go limp if you tickle him, he just gives up-has really breathy laughter-will tear up 5 seconds after laughing my precious boy-after he gets the hang of his powers, Klaus surprised him out of nowhere & attacked him for no reason-he claimed he was making up for lost time but Ben said he was just being mean-he'd be lying tho if he said he didn't enjoy every second of it

Vanya-my sweet baby dear, poor child-she's only just now learning to love herself-has major trust issues, & the shit with Harold did NOTHING to help-cried for like a week after the apocalypse cause she just feels so guilty & sorry-mended her relationship with Allison & loves her sister so much-almost cried when Claire called her Aunt Vanya-very claustrophobic-as much as she loves classical music, she also really loves classic & alternative rock-Diego literally had to beg her to play The Devil Went Down to Georgia but he managed to convince her & everyone was #shook-gets really embarrassed when anyone compliments her about anything & tries to deny it-apologizes over the smallest things. Allison told her she doesn't have to & she's trying to break the habit-really enjoys practicing with her power now that she knows she has it. She's gotten a lot better at controlling it-still pretty scared of Luther. He's apologized for everything & she forgave him but she can't help but flinch if he moves too quickly towards her, & it kinda breaks his heart -even more touch starved than Five cause while he had a childhood with the others, she was isolated & alone & had very little contact. It wasn't until after the apocalypse that she experienced a true genuine hug-always got sad when the others would play around & laugh & have fun cause it was one more thing she wasn't included in, so she's used to just hiding away by herself to practice -was barely ever the target during a tickle fight so she barely even remembers what it feels like-she honestly thinks she's grown out of it(spoiler alert: she hasn't)-a tickle fight breaks out while she's reading in the living room & out of habit she tries to go to her room cause she's used to disappearing without being noticed but Five teleports in front of her & is like um where the hell do you think you're going?-so she's like "to go read?" & by this point they have Allison & Diego's attention & Five's all "so you think you can just slink away scot free?" She tells him she's not ticklish & he belts out a laugh "I seem to remember otherwise" "well you're also like 60 so..." & that's how they found out she's still extremely ticklish-they never let her live it down-I mean they gotta make her feel included right? So it would be rude not to-her ears/neck, sides, & feet are death spots, she can't handle it-not much of a ler, but when she is she uses her skilled musician's hands to utterly wreck you, but overall she's pretty gentle-when she hears laughter her powers kinda go nuts(it's just a genuinely pure sound so she tends to really focus on it)& if it's her own laughter then it's even harder for her to control her abilities cause that fact makes her embarrassed & jittery so it takes her a while to calm down

Sorry this took so long, I've been pretty busy! But I had such a blast writing these so if you'd like to hear more or just want to talk about UA hit me up cause I'm always down to screech about my children(you can probably tell who my favorites are based off the length of each of their headcanons)

[albionscastle]

First Impressions 10 - Saturday Night Fever

I was so glad to actually write this chapter it’s not even funny. I started five times and trashed each one but FINALLY! This is the Netherfield Ball chapter and second only to the Pemberley scenes as my favorite in Pride and Prejudice.

There are mentions of anxiety in this chapter.

Also obvs you can picture whatever song you want for the dance, I just had the Bee Gees - More Than A Woman running through my head at the time lol.

FIC MASTERLIST

FIRST IMPRESSIONS 10 SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER

LIZZIE

If she was perfectly honest with herself, Lizzie was kind of looking forward to the wrap party. It was probably the chance of a lifetime - there weren’t likely to be any glam Hollywood parties in her future so she figured that she may as well enjoy this one. Charlie was, naturally, embracing the event wholeheartedly and had even managed to rope her into a trip to the city for new threads. According to him absolutely everything in her closet was too awful to be worn in public.

As usual he was right, Lizzie thought as she looked in the mirror. In a million years she never would have picked out this dress for herself, but she had to admit, it looked fantastic. Charlie had worked his magic with her hair and face and she almost didn’t recognize the smoky eyed woman staring back at her. It was the first time in years that she actually liked what she saw.

“Come on Bennett, time to go show those asholes whats, what!”

Charlie was waiting by her front door, over the top as usual in a silver top hat and makeup that would put Ziggy Stardust to shame. Not for the first time she felt the little tug in her heart, he really was gorgeous. It didn’t happen often, the moment of wishing he wasn’t gay, and she’d even told him about it. Charlie had never laughed at her, or brushed it off. He simply agreed that had life been different they probably would have been meant for one another. She wasn’t in love with him, not in this life, but it have happened very easily and every now and then, it made her a bit sad.

“Get that look off your face woman, I know I look good enough to eat.” Charlie sighed dramatically. “I’m on the prowl tonight and I need my wing woman.”

Lizzie laughed. “Are you sure? I’m likely to frighten all your prospects away with my bitch face.”

“Looking like that darling, they’ll be flocking to you and I’ll be there to ease their broken hearts when you turn them down.”

“Well you certainly have it all figured out don’t you.”

“When don’t I babe?” he winked. “Now get your coat and let’s go before I miss anything.”

The ballroom at the hotel had been completely transformed and Lizzie was almost speechless when they stepped into the lobby. She supposed it wasn’t all that big a deal to the rich and famous but her small town heart was a flutter with excitement at the sight. Gauzy fabric covered the bland beige walls and tables were set with linens and centerpieces fit for royalty. Everywhere she looked there was something gorgeous that she wouldn’t have expected to see, right down to the soft candlelight that was the room’s only illumination.

There was no sign of Brad though and a check of her cell showed no missed messages. Despite her misgivings, she’d still been excited to see him here and he had promised that Jack’s presence wasn’t going to stop him from attending. He was probably just late, she tried to tell herself, knowing it was a lie.

“There you are Lizzie!” she cringed at her mother’s loud voice as her family moved toward her.

“That’s my queue sweets.” Charlie kissed her cheek. “Come find me later.”

“Fucking traitor.” she muttered as he dashed away into the throng of people.

Turning around with a sigh, Lizzie plastered a smile on her face, barely keeping it in place when she saw what Lydia was, or rather wasn’t, wearing. She glanced at Maya who simply shrugged in defeat.

“Hey pumpkin.” her father reached her before the others and his weary look of resignation told him everything she needed to know about the situation. “You look lovely.”

“Thanks Dad, but I can’t believe you let her out of the house dressed like that.” she whispered as he pulled away from the hug.

Ben simply sighed, shunted to the side as Chloe approached, eying Lizzie up and down.

“Do I meet your approval mom?” she snarked.

“You look very nice. Her mother admitted. “You’ll never have Maya’s charm and sweetness but you do look very nice.”

“Gee thanks mom, at least I’m actually wearing clothing.” Lizzie looked pointedly at Lydia who was tapping her foot and looking bored.

“Shut up Liz” she snapped, cracking a piece of gum.

“Stop it both of you! Lizzie leave your sister alone!”

Lizzie bit her tongue, feeling her cheeks go red while Lydia stuck out her tongue behind her mother’s back.

“Lizzie, I was meaning to ask you something.” Maya piped up, quickly gauging the situation.

She took her sister’s arm and let her lead them to where Tom was standing with Jack and Caro. Honestly she would have rather stayed and fought with Lydia.

“Eliza!” Caro practically sneered, looking stunning in a barely there pink dress. “Oh, your whole family is here, how nice.” Her tone implied the exact opposite of her words.

“Actually Mary and Kate aren’t here.” Lizzie murmured, craning her head to look for Brad.

Jack, being his usual pleasant self merely inclined his head in greeting before looking away, dismissing her completely.

Prick, she thought to herself as she tried to seperate from the group, without any luck.

“Lizzie dear,” her mother had her arm, “I promised poor Colin that you would at least dance with him tonight. He’s been quite desolate since he came back you know. I think he hopes you’ll take him back.”

The excitement in Chloe’s eyes at that thought made Lizzie feel ill. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Well ok, her mother arranging things, that she could believe but not the bullshit that Colin had obviously been spewing. How dare he?

“I need a drink.” she snapped, stalking away into the crowd before anyone could stop her.

Fuming all the way to the bar, she ordered a Scotch ready to down the whole thing in one gulp.

“I’ll be taking that Red.” Charlie was there, sliding up next to her and stealing her drink, downing it smoothly before she even had a chance to protest. “You know you can’t drink.” he whispered, smiling at anyone who appeared curious enough to try and listen to what was going on.

“I don’t care.” she huffed, feeling like a scolded child.

“Listen dollface, I know how your mom gets and I guess she got to you. However drinking with your medication will just create a spectacle of you being carried out of here too far out of it to know your own name. And everyone in town will talk about it for years.”

“You don’t know what happened.” But she was conceding that he had a point.

“I’m going to guess she told you to play nice with poor, heartbroken Colin. He’s plying that shit all over town.”

He was right, as fucking usual.

“Listen, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be upset. Just don’t give anyone the satisfaction of seeing you upset. The best way to stick it to that piece of shit is to pretend that you just aren’t affected at all.”

“I bloody hate you sometimes.”

“You love me and you know it.” Charlie placed a glass of cola in front of her, his arm slung over her shoulder as they perused the room.

Maya was dancing with Tom and Lizzie couldn’t help but smile at the serene look on her sister’s face as she looked up at him. She was clearly in love with him and Lizzie couldn’t have been happier for them. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought.

“What’s the deal with those two anyway?”

“Maya and Tom? What do you mean?”

“Well have they ‘sealed the deal’ so to speak. Seriously she needs to get him in the sack.”

“You know Maya isn’t like that.” Though she was fairly sure they already had, not that Maya had said anything.

“She needs to get like that, when that boy leaves Maya needs to be the only thing on his mind.”

“They are crazy about each other Charlie.”

“Well they hide it well, seriously though, Maya needs to up her game, you’ve seen the women here tonight.”

Lizzie’s brow furrowed as she thought about what Charlie was saying. Maya was admittedly very reserved and even though she knew her sister, Charlie’s observations had her worrying. She had said nothing about Tom beyond this week. He was spending Thanksgiving with them though, surely that counted for something. Charlie was just being a pain in the ass.

She watched him moving through the crowd now, a hit with everyone he came in contact with, male or female. More than once she had wished she could be more like him, so easy with everyone he met. She knew of no-one who disliked him while most people usually thought she was either stuck-up or awkward and boring.

Her eyes danced across the ballroom, Colin was so far nowhere in sight, but there was still no sign of Brad. She should have known better, it wasn’t the first time she’d been stood up. Spotting Jack standing with a group of men she narrowed her eyes. If looks could kill, she laughed bitterly to herself, liking the vision of him laid out on the floor. Yes, shed was irrationally angry and him and no she didn’t care. It didn’t matter what her thoughts were about Brad, it was Jack’s fault that she was standing alone at the bar instead of dancing in a killer dress. It was ALL Jack’s fault.

He chose that moment to look her way, his drink to his lips, long fingers wrapped around his glass, his clothes….well they were perfect for fuck’s sake. She actually had to bite the inside of her cheek to avoid making an embarrassing noise. The bastard had no business looking as good as he did, just as her body had no business betraying her the way it was. She would be damned if she gave him anything, despite her trembling knees. She refused to look away as she threw back her now flat soda, enjoying the surprise in his eyes. Enjoying it so much that she didn’t notice Colin coming up beside her. Too late she realized he was there, only when she smelled his cologne and almost dropped her glass. Remembering Charlie’s advice and her own determination, she forced herself into turning, her best ‘bitch face’ firmly in place.

“What do you want Colin?”

“I was promised a dance.” his eyes slide over her from head to toe and she barely repressed a shudder.

“Then why come to me? My mother promised you a dance, so go ask her.”

There was anger sparking in his eyes and she fought back the familiar fear. She knew what he was capable of when he was angered, but she still wasn’t going to give in.

“I was promised a dance with you.” he smiled, his eyes cold like a snake’s.

“This isn’t the middle ages, my mother doesn’t decide who I dance with.”

“Everyone is watching, you don’t want to make a scene do you?”

Lizzie shrugged.

“I’m not causing a scene and I don’t care who’s watching.”

His smile never faltered as his fingers wrapped around her wrist, tightly. Lizzie resisted the urge to yank herself out of his grasp. The point was to not give him the satisfaction of a response. Instead, fighting the bile rising in her throat she looked pointedly down at his had and then up at his face, staring him down she put her hand over his, pulling it off her arm and taking a step back.

“Good night Colin.” she said firmly, turning on her heel and walking away.

She managed to hold her breath until she was out of sight of the ballroom, making her way quickly to the ladies room. Locking herself in a stall she collapsed against the cool metal door, breath coming in ragged gasps, legs feeling like jelly. She couldn’t believe what she had just done. Before if she had even looked at him in a way he didn’t like he would have made her pay, but now….. She laughed, feeling lightheaded. There was nothing he could do to her, he was completely powerless. Colin Ryan couldn’t hurt, control or scare her anymore except in her own mind, and only if she allowed.

Taking a few minutes to compose herself, Lizzie still felt giddy. The power was all hers and she was determined to go and have a good time, everyone else could be damned. She was still shaking and though she wanted to her body wouldn’t move out of the bathroom. A million thoughts ran through her head and right in the middle was a vision of all those people, crowding around her, closing in, blocking any chance for escape. It only took an instant to realize what was happening and what she needed to do before she had a full-blown panic attack in a hotel toilet.

Closing her eyes she pulled in a deep breath, holding it for the count of three before slowly letting out again. A few repetitions later and the dizziness subsided, along with the trembling, enough for her to be able to swallow a pill. Looking at herself in the mirror she saw wide, frightened eyes and knew that Colin had still managed to get to her.

“Pull yourself together.” she muttered to her reflection. “You are better than this, you are stronger. Don’t let the bastards drag you down.”

She repeated the mantra sternly, over and over until her heartbeat slowed and her legs felt strong beneath her again.

“Right, that’s the end of that. We go out there, we dance, we have fun and we go home. Nothing more to it.”

A much more poised Lizzie emerged from the bathroom and headed back to the ballroom. One more deep breath and she stepped into the throng searching for Charlie, or Maya, neither of them in sight. Turning to go in the opposite direction, she almost collided with Jack.

“Ammm Elizabeth, I was wonderin, would ye care tae dance? Wi me, I mean.”

JACK

The surprise that Jack felt matched the surprise on Elizabeth’s face when they both realised she had said yes. To dancing. With him. A little flustered he was able to at least offer his arm to lead his startled partner out onto the dancefloor. All he could do was gulp, avoiding her eyes as he stiffly slid his hand to the small of her back, taking her other hand and hoping that she didn’t notice his trembling fingers.

As they rocked like two gawky teens with a balloon stuck between them jack couldn’t stop his thoughts from running wild. He’d been in a state from the moment Elizabeth had walked in and slipped off her coat. In his wildest dreams he’d never imagined her in that dress. The gold sequined number had been designed to turn her into a goddess, complete with plunging neckline and a hemline that made his mouth run dry. He’d fought his attraction to the woman from day one but the surge of lust that ran through his body at the sight of her nearly did him in. As it was he was barely able to manage a nod, afraid that the croak in his voice would give away what was happening in his trousers.

In another life maybe.

Distracted and barely paying attention to the conversation around him his eyes had followed her, seeing her obvious embarrassment with her family. When he’d seen her at the bar with a drink he’d almost gone over but Charlie had beaten him to it. A few Google searches had informed him that Elizabeth’s medication and alcohol did not mix and he was glad she hadn’t drunk it.

His mind had wandered at that point as he imagined himself walking over there, welcomed by a cheeky, secret glint in her eyes. Running with it he pictured them laughing as he led her through the lobby and into a dark, quiet corner. In his fantasy she moaned when he kissed her, pulling him against her as she leaned back against the wall. She chuckled low in her throat when his hand slid up her thigh, hitching her leg over his hip as he ground against her. He could hear her voice in his ear, a breathless sigh of want and promise as he in turned whispered all the things he wanted to do to her when they were alone.

Jerked out of his dream world by a question he hadn’t even noticed he saw Elizabeth watching him from across the room and his cheeks reddened. If she’d had any idea what he’d been thinking she would have no doubt slapped him so hard his head would spin.

He didn’t see Colin approach until it was too late to do anything that wouldn’t cause a scene. Despite himself, jack felt a surge of pride as he watched her stand her ground, the look on Colin’s face priceless as she left him with her head held high. He shouldn’t have cared, shouldn’t have wanted. But he did and his feet seemed to move of their own accord to the entrance of the ballroom in time to see Elizabeth disappear into the loo. Colin was nowhere to be seen, but Jack wouldn’t have put it past him to follower in there so he placed himself within view of the door, just in case.

It was the deer in headlights look when she came out that prompted to move towards her, no plan at all in his mind. Now here they were. All silence and bungling, each of them looking anywhere but at the other. Jack didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t embarrass her and he was far too well aware of his previous inappropriate thoughts. What could he say?

“Awkward silence much?” he heard her remark quietly.

“Do ye prefer tae talk while dancin then?”

A chuckle.

“Generally, yes. Even if its just to comment on the sucky song. It’s only polite.”

“I confess I never really thought about it tae be honest.”

“Perhaps it’s time you did.” Elizabeth said archly as the song ended.

Taking the chance, Jack grinned, the next song starting before she could make an escape.

“Then I’ll say I quite like this one.”

“Bee Gees? Well at least you have some taste.”

“Saturday Night Fever was a cinematic masterpiece.”

“Never saw it.”

There was a hint of steel in her voice, a challenge and he vaguely remembered the party in the summer, the inference that Elizabeth had at least once loved to dance. Without a second thought he moved, spinning her out to the end of his arm before tugging her back, a moment spent flush against each other before he dipped her down almost to the floor.

She was looking at him now, her eyes wide with surprise as she followed his lead perfectly.

“Channeling your inner Tony Manero?” she questioned as they came together.

“Everything but the strut lass, and I thought ye said ye’d never seen it.” he laughed as he spun her again.

They were silent for a moment, their steps in perfect sync. The woman could dance, that was for sure. He got the feeling that it wasn’t something she did often and he felt a momentary spike of malicious satisfaction that Wick probably hadn’t had this opportunity.

“I understand ye all haf been seein a lot of Bradley Wick.” he knew he’d put his foot in it the moment the words left his mouth. The flash in her eyes confirmed what he had feared.

“He’s been helping my parents with the house, he needed the extra money. They are quite fond of him.”

“Aye, Wick has a talent of makin himself useful when it suits him, it doesna stay that way though.”

Spin out, tug in, her body against his, an angry spark in her eye. He was up for the challenge.

“I’m sure that the loss of your friendship has shaped your opinion of that. Do you think that just because you couldn’t be friendly that he can’t make friends at all?”

“He’s always been able tae make friends luv, he’s jus no good at keepin em.”

“Hmmm.” she appeared to be thinking as they moved. “I’m assuming something serious happened between you?”

“Ye assume correctly.” but he would be damned if he told her what.

“And it had nothing to with, oh say, jealousy or pride?”

He felt his eyes narrow, not at all comfortable with the direction this was taking.

“Why are ye askin?”

Elizabeth shrugged, spinning under his arm and around his back. He felt her hand across his waist like fire, her cold challenge sparking something in him.

“I’m just trying to understand you, I hear so many different things about you, almost like you’re two people.”

“Maybe ye should jus come straight tae the source.”

“Where’s the fun in that? You would only show me what you wanted me to see and I far prefer the truth.”

The truth? Did she really want to know the real man? The one who drank too much and had at one point gone through women like socks, the one who still thought she was no good for him despite how much he wanted her.?

“Now is probably no the best time tae be attemptin tae sketch my character.”

The song was ending, his hopes that the dance would turn into more fading by the note. She was baiting him and he couldn’t help but respond. He couldn’t help himself around her, she met him challenge for challenge and he wasn’t sure he would be the one to come out on top. He wasn’t sure who was the conqueror anymore.

“If I don’t do it now I’ll never get another chance.”

Her words hit him hard hard. After tonight there was no reason for him to stay in town so she was right. He was going home, never to return. Why was it bothering him so much?

The final notes of the song, Jack dipped Elizabeth down, never taking his eyes from hers, noticing the way her pupils dilated and her breath hitched. He allowed a smile to spread across his face. They stayed that way as the music changed, Jack slowly easing back until she was pressed against him again, so close he could feel her ragged breath on his neck while his heart hammered in his chest. Apparently neither of them wanted to be the first to break eye contact, to admit weakness of any kind to the other.

I certainly wouldn’t wan tae leave ye wantin Elizabeth, but in this regard I’m afraid ye’ll jus be disappointed.” Her eyes flared, lips parted to respond. ‘Unless….” he murmured as he started to move his hand on her back, pulling her closer.

“Lizzie! My dear look at you, I haven’t seen you dance for an age.” Mr Lucas had pushed through the crowd, breaking the spell with his booming voice.

Elizabeth took a step back, the familiar mask of indifference settling over her features.

He already missed her. Damn it!

Lucas clapped him on the shoulder, oblivious to the tension he’d inadvertently dissipated.

“Should have known such a handsome young man could bring our Lizzie out of her shell again. I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of it when a certain wedding takes place.”

The appalled look on Elizabeth’s face and the direction of Lucas’ gaze was enough for Jack to figure out what was being inferred. Maya sat, looking down demurely as Tom leaning in, speaking into her ear.

Was that what everyone was thinking and expecting? He turned back to Elizabeth, only to see the back of her head as she walked away. Jack wracked his brain, trying to figure out how there was a wedding expected. Tom was obviously enamored with Maya but he did have a habit falling in and out of ‘love’ with remarkable swiftness. Grudgingly he admitted that Tom seemed somewhat different this time, but surely things hadn’t gone that far.

He was angry suddenly, or perhaps not so suddenly. The conversation with Elizabeth had stirred his unrest, knowing that she was friendly with Wick just rubbed him the wrong way. Knowing that there was gossip, that he was being judged based on whatever the bastard had decided to say about him. He was pissed that she had essentially confirmed that Wick was yet again running his mouth. It wasn’t her fault, many a woman had fallen for his lies, he just didn’t want it to be her, surely her attempt to talk to him had been her not accepting Wick at face value.

With a sigh he downed another glass of whiskey. Everything was completely fucked up and tonight was just it.

He was done.

LIZZIE

The frigid outside air was a blessing against her burning cheeks. She gulped in a few deep breaths, trying to calm her hammering heart. That, that had been unexpected. Anger mingled with desire and her brain, as well as her body was on fire.

From a dance.

A dance that included an argument. Lizzie had no idea what the hell was going on with her. She couldn’t stand the man, hadn’t wanted to dance with him. The only reason that she’d even agreed was because Colin had her so befuddled. Her hackles had been up and she was furious at the way her body had betrayed her the moment Jack’s hand settled on her back.

That was why she tried to bait him, started a fight to distract herself from everything she was feeling. Especially when that song came on, one of her favorites and Jack had pulled out the moves. Excluding everything else the man was good and a long forgotten excitement had begun to swell. Once, before Colin, she had loved to dance. Charlie had convinced her to take lessons with him when they were in high school and it had been love. All through college they had taken every chance they could to seek out Chicago’s speakeasies and dance the night away. Colin’s jealousy had ended that.

Tonight, with Jack, the excitement had come flooding back and she hated that it was with him. As much as she was pissed at the direction her thoughts had taken when he’d dipped her down with such smooth skill. The clean smell of him, his warmth through the crisp cotton of his shirt, the strength in the way he’d held her, they had all combined in her head. In that moment her imagination had run wild and all she could see was him, shirt and hair all rumpled as he pressed her against a wall, hands and lips roaming.

The realization had shocked her to the core, not so much the attraction - she’d already admitted to that. It was the knowledge that in that moment she wanted to lift her head those few inches closer, press her mouth against his and see what happened. Her body was completely betraying her, ignoring everything that she knew about the kind of man he was.

The argument had served its purpose, reminded her why she hated him. His casual dismissal of Brad infuriated her, the fact that despite that she was still attracted to him made her even angrier with herself.

Mr Lucas’ interruption couldn’t have come at a worse moment. The look on Jack’s face had effectively cleared her head, telling her everything she needed to know about his thoughts. She’d had to walk away before she called him out in public for being such an ass.

“Nice job out there twinkle toes.”

Lizzie managed a smile as Charlie wrapped his arms around her.

“Pity about the partner though.”

“I don’t know, he looked like he knew what he was doing.”

“Yeah he always knows exactly what he’s doing.” she said bitterly.

“What is it with him anyway? I mean I know he’s been around a lot, I thought there was….you know.”

Ew, god no Charlie! Trust me he hates me as much as I loathe him.”

“Coulda fooled me.” he muttered, side eyeing her.

“I told you what he did to Brad and you’ve seen the way he acts around here.”

“Ok I agree that the whole Brad thing was a bit low, but also normal for a cutthroat world like that. But come on Liz, let’s face it, he’s cute and all but only a fool would turn down all that Jack has to offer.”

“Consider me a fool then, besides you know I don’t care about all that crap. I don’t give a shit what he does for a living or how much he makes doing it - a jerk is a jerk.”

“Real shame the jerk is so hot though.”

“Yup, that’s a hard truth.”

“Come on, let’s go back in there and have some fun, fuck the rest of them.”

Charlie had a way of making her feel better and of putting things in perspective. He was blunt and pragmatic, funny and comforting, everything she needed to see things more clearly. She would have been lost without him.

Halfway through their dinner, after a few hours of dancing, someone grabbed Charlie’s attention and he was off again leaving her alone at the table. She could see Maya sitting with Tom a few tables over, a smile on her face as they talked some of his friends. Her mother and father sat with the Lucas’ and some other people they knew from town, Chloe’s voice carrying as she talked of her various maladies.

“Enjoying the party Eliza?”

Lizzie almost cringed as Caro sat down beside her, her perfume wafting, boobs spilling out of her dress.

“It’s been okay so far.” she shrugged nonchalantly.

“Listen, I hear that you’ve been getting quite friendly with Brad Wick.”

“And?”

“Well I should warn you that he’s not exactly a great guy.”

“Really?” Lizzie tried her best to sound bored. “How so?”

“I don’t know the particulars, but I do know something nasty went down between him and Jack and Jack was in no way to blame. But honestly, considering he grew up in a home, what else can you expect?”

“I assume you got your information from Jack?”

“Not entirely, there are some rumors swirling, but Eliza I wouldn’t trust him.”

Anger flared again, what the fuck was it with these people? Why did they find it so easy to try and ruin the lives of others? What made them think they were supposedly so much better than everyone else?

“Well Caro, it really isn’t any of your business. Besides it sounds like the only thing he’s done wrong in your eyes is grow up rough, and he already told me all about that.”

Lizzie saw the woman stiffen, obviously surprised at her audacity.

“I’m sorry, I was just trying to help.”

“I don’t need your kind of help, I’m a big girl and I make my own decisions about people.”

Caro didn’t say another word, just stood up and left. Lizzie let go an exasperated breath, suddenly tired and wanting to go home.

“Are you ok?” Maya was beside her looking concerned.

“I’m fine, I’ve just had enough of these people.”

“I saw Caro over here, what was that about?”

“She wanted to ‘warn’ me about Brad, I told her to fuck off.”

“Lizzie…” Maya started cautiously, “ I asked Tom about him and he said that Brad wasn’t a good guy.”

“Oh Maya, not you too. Besides has Tom even really met him, outside being on set?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Then he’s getting all his information from Jack, who has a very personal problem with him!”

“I didn’t even think that you liked him like that.”

“I don't. I just….I just hate the way that they all act like he’s done something wrong without having any proof. It’s not fair Maya.”

Maya sighed, obviously torn between her support of her sister and her affection for Tom. Lizzie hated that she had put her sister in the middle of it.

“It’s ok, I’ll be fine. I think Colin just got me all worked up.”

“Speaking of which….”

Lizzie followed Maya’s gaze to where Colin stood behind Jack’s seat, tapping him on the shoulder.

“That’s not going to end well.” From the stony look on Jack’s face as he turned, it hadn’t even begun well. Despite everything, she was sort of rooting for Jack to put Colin firmly in his place. The man was a born sycophant and Jack was the biggest fish in the room, it would give her a perverse satisfaction to see him firmly put in his place by the younger man.

“Colin has forgiven Lizzie for everything, she just had cold feet. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if the wedding is back on in a few months.”

Lizzie’s head turned in horror at the sound of her mother’s voice as it carried across the tables.

“Between that and Maya, both the girls will be very well off indeed and set up to help Lydia too. Everything is working out exactly as I had hoped.”

Both girls had burning cheeks, Lizzie could see both Jack and Tom staring, Colin looking smug. She felt sick, she had to leave. Out of her chair, she managed two steps before her father came into her line of sight making a beeline for the dancefloor. Lydia was there with some kid from school, grinding against him while his hands roamed all over her. Ben walked straight over, grabbing her sister’s arm and leading her away while she cussed up a storm.

The humiliation was complete. She was done.

“I’m going home.” she hugged Maya. “Go back to Tom and act like nothing happened ok.”

Maya nodded, walking away.

Lizzie kept her head held high as she stalked out, grabbing her coat. She walked home despite the cold, refusing the offer of an Uber. Once locked inside she quickly stripped off her dress and jewelry, leaving everything in a pile on the floor. Her makeup was washed off as she stared blankly into the mirror, trying to hold it together. It wasn’t until after she climbed into bed, pulling the covers up around her head that she finally broke down and cried herself to sleep.

JACK

Jack honestly couldn’t believe what had just happened. Seriously couldn’t even begin to fathom how the night had taken such a turn. What an absolute clusterfuck. After the dance with Elizabeth everything had gone downhill so quickly, he’d been so distracted by what Lucas had said that he hadn’t seen the impending disaster unfolding.If he hadn’t so busy watching Tom and Maya, he would have seen Caro pounce on Elizabeth before she came stomping back to the table calling her a stuck up bitch. Then he’d been listening to her go on and on that he hadn’t even realized that Colin Ryan was right behind him until the creepy cunt was tapping him on the shoulder and going on about how he worked for Ann De Bourgh's L.A office and was hoping Jack would consider him for his U.S publicity.

The sheer nerve of the man had Jack in shock and he’d barely managed to shoot the man down with any politeness at all. That he would even consider asking him, given his history with Elizabeth and the current situation spoke to the audacity of the man. Then he heard the mother’s voice and saw the smug look on Colin’s face. It was then that he looked over at Elizabeth where she sat with Maya, hating the look of humiliation he saw on both their faces. He knew every word was bullshit, but he couldn’t believe how tone deaf Chloe Bennett was to her daughter’s feelings. Or how determined she apparently was to get her daughters ahead in the world.

He saw Elizabeth get up to leave and he took a step toward her, watching her falter as her father practically dragged Lydia off the dance floor. While he couldn’t blame the man for trying to protect his underage daughter, his method caused a scene that could have been avoided. The whole thing could have been avoided if the girl had any discipline at all, she wasn’t an idiot but she was very much out of control. He could almost feel the embarrassment that Elizabeth was experiencing, it was radiating from her and he was more than a little chuffed with the way she kept her head held up as she left.

He wanted to follow her, but he knew he couldn’t, not after everything that had happened. He was probably the last person she would accept comfort from right now. Still he struggled, hating himself as he watched her go, the haunted look on her face something he wasn’t soon going to forget.

“I suppose things didn’t get too out of hand tonight.” Caro sneered sarcastically. “I mean most of the natives have behaved themselves, except for the Bennets. God what a nightmare those people are.”

Jack merely grunted, unwilling to give her satisfaction of agreeing. Apart from the behavior of those three the night had been a surprising success, not that he really gave a shit.

He was expected to remain, so he did, keeping a close eye on things. Lydia spent the rest of the night sulking in a chair beside her father. Chloe Bennet quieted down, thankfully, but her earlier words still rang in his ears. Tom and Maya were inseparable as always and he took special notice of them. They looked happy enough, but she had withdrawn, he smile not quite reaching her eyes. He wondered if Maya was being pushed toward Tom by her mother. Sure she liked him but to his eyes not nearly as much as Chloe seemed to be implying. The question was, how far would she allow herself to be pushed and how much would that damage Tom?

Biding his time he waited until the party wound down before returning to the suite to wait for his friend. Tom walked in, on a cloud, Caro following behind him looking disapproving. That was fine, he thought, he could use her help for this.

“After Thanksgiving Maya and are going to take off for a few days, maybe up to Michigan.” Tom was prattling on and Jack knew he had to step in now.

“Don’t ye have those auditions next week?”

“I’m sure I can reschedule.” “And if ye canna? What will ye do then? That's no a professional way tae act.”

“There’ll be other roles, Jack.” Tom looked crestfallen that his mate wasn’t as happy for him as he would have liked.

“Ye know as well as I do that's no true.”

“Well I don’t care, Jack. I’m happy.”

“And ye were happy wi Sandra, and then mel, until ye weren’t.”

“It’s different with Maya.”

Caro snorted, rolling her eyes and Jack leveled her with a glare.

“Ye always say tha, mate. Ye fall in an out o love all the time. It’s no worth risking yer career fer.”

Jack saw the first flicker of doubt on Tom’s face and he knew he was getting through to him. Swallowing his conscience he kept at it. He didn’t want his friend to get hurt.

“Look Tom, I donna doubt that ye care abou the girl, an she’s lovely, but ye barely know her.”

“It’s been three months!”

“And after four months with Mel it was over remember?”

“Because Mel only wanted one thing, Caro. You know she was only using me to get an inside track on roles.”

“And Maya’s mum is pushin her at ye fer fame and money too. Ye heard her tonight.”

The trap was sprung and Tom had walked right into it. His face told the whole story, anger, doubt and hurt.

“Maya’s not like that.”

“I’m no sayin she is.” Jack admitted truthfully. “Maya’s a nice, sweet girl but how vested is she in this and how much of it is her mum’s manipulation?”

“It’s….I’m….she’s….” Tom was yammering and though Jack was feeling guilty he squashed it quickly. He was doing the right thing and Tom would see that in the long run.

“God, what am I going to do?” Tom sighed, sinking into a chair.

“I can get us all on a flight to London by 7am.” Caro piped up.

“That would mean leaving now.” Tom looked shocked. “That’s a low route to take.”

“Do ye wan tae drag it out? Sit at a dinner table with the whole family knowing ye’re goin tae break it off?”

“No, I suppose not, but Maya deserves better than a disappearing act.”

“Then text her, send an email, but draggin it out is only goin tae complicate things. A clean break is best, no harm no foul.”

Silence. With a nod Jack indicated to Caro that she should book the flight and then he went to pack.

There was a feeling relief knowing he was leaving this place behind him and returning to the familiar. He had a break until January before he was expected at a job in Italy and then in L.A for February and March. Spending most of that time at home in Scotland seemed like the best idea to get his head straight. A picture of Elizabeth presented itself in his thoughts and he tried to shake it away. He would soon forget that she had ever existed, or at the very least she would just be the memory of a pretty girl he’d failed to shag.

Tom didn’t say a word to anyone, not as they packed or as the car drove them to O’Hare. He looked miserable but resigned and Jack was sure that he would be back to his old self in no time. The boy always bounced back quickly and this time would be no different. Maya would be fine too, he was sure of that. She would be hurt at the way they had left yes, but with them gone her mum would stop pushing her and she could just get on with her life. Every time his thoughts turned to Elizabeth he pushed them away, what she did now was none of his concern, whether it be with Wick, or Colin, or no-one.

The bile rose in his throat and he swallowed against it, turning to look out the window. As the plane sped down the runway and began to ascend he thought about London and all the reasons he had to never come back here. And as the plane rose higher, the Chicago skyline receding from view, he pulled down the shade and closed his eyes, willing himself not to dream of a woman that he would never see again.

[uglypastels]

Writing Challenge!!

Writing challenges are always so fun to do, so I decided to make one myself for a change. It’s also almost (not really) my birthday and I want to celebrate!!

It’s that time of the year again where it is cold outside, the leaves are falling off the trees, you just want to curl up under a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and watch a movie... Or is that just me? 

Anyway, I love watching a good movie, or even a bad one sometimes.

This is why in this challenge, all prompts are quotes from movies! 

Rules are pretty basic, I’m not fussy about anything.  (prompts > “Keep Reading”)

You don’t have to be following me, but it would be nice of you, of course, if you did

Reblog this post to join and/or spread the word

Send me an ask wherein you choose a prompt 

Make sure you have a possible back-up if the said prompt is already taken

Preferably, I would like to have one story per prompt, but just in case anyone is really set on a prompt that has already been chosen, or if somehow by miracle every prompt is picked and more people want to join, each prompt will have two slots. (so one regular, one “emergency” slot)

All prompts are movie quotes, but your story doesn’t have to be based on the movie itself or have anything to do with the movie. Interpret the quote any way you want.

BE ORIGINAL! 

BE CREATIVE!

HAVE FUN! 

I would like to call myself a multifandom blog, but who am I kidding. I’m MARVEL’s bitch. 

Write about any MARVEL character/ actor (+ the Hollands/Harrison) you want but

if you want to do a different fandom, you are more than welcome!

Just don’t forget to tell me in your prompt request who you will be writing for.  

Fluff, angst, smut ... everything is allowed - just make sure to tag it.

NO UNDERAGE SMUT! Just don’t be gross, in general 

No, first person, but other perspectives are good to go

Any length of writing is good, but if it is longer than 500 words, make sure to use the “Keep Reading” option.

so the story can be a one-shot, two shot, a series < including a part of a series you already have going on.

When you post it, make sure to tag me and use the tag: 

#Z’s Movie Night Challenge

FOR AN EXTRA CHALLENGE (or if you just can’t pick): hmu with an ask telling me and I will pick for you! But do still mention who you will be writing for then.

Deadline is my birthday - December 18th! 

I will be making a masterlist of all the submissions

I think that’s it. Any more question? DM me or ask

(way too many) Prompts, but at least nobody can complain there is nothing to chose from: 

“I love you.” // “I know.” Star Wars, Episode V: Empire Strikes Back (@andwhatdostarsdobest w/ Tom Holland)

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Gone With the Wind  ( @procrastinatingparker w/ Tom Holland) 

“After all, tomorrow is another day!” Gone With the Wind

“Go ahead, make my day.” Sudden Impact

“Here’s looking at you, kid,” Casablanca

“I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.” Casablanca

“Of all the (gin joints) in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” Casablanca ( @butwhyduh w/ Avengers cast)

“We’ll always have Paris.” Casablanca

“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.” the Godfather

“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” the Godfather: Part II ( @sunsetspidey w/ Tom Holland)

“Just when I thought I was out, (they) pull me back in.” Godfather: Part III ( @sleepwalkingdragon w/ Harrison Osterfield on hold)

“You talkin’ to me?” Taxi Driver

“Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.” All About Eve

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Love Story ( @rainbow-marvel w/ Tom Holland)

“Forget everything you think you know.” Doctor Strange

“Pain is an old friend.” Doctor Strange ( @theamazingspiderlingg w/ Tom Holland)

“What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.” Cool Hand Luke ( @scholarlyspidey )

“What is it?” // “The stuff that dreams are made off.΅ the Maltese Falcon

“Alright, (Mr. DeMille), I’m ready for my close-up.” Sunset Boulevard

“There is no place like home.” Wizard of Oz ( @peterrrparkour w/ Tom Holland)

“I love the smell of (napalm) in the morning.” Apocalypse Now

“Show me the money!” Jerry Maguire

“You had me at ‘hello’.” Jerry Maguire ( @anxiety-in-a-getaway-car w/ Sebastian Stan)

“You complete me.” Jerry Maguire

“Why don’t you come up sometime and see me?” She Done Him Wrong

“Hey, I’m walking here!” Midnight Cowboy

“I want to be alone.” Grand Hotel ( @aw-hawkeye w/ Tom Holland)

“You can’t handle the truth!” A Few Good Men

“I’ll have what she’s having.” When Harry Met Sally ( @sleepwalkingdragon w/ Harrison Osterfield)

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." When Harry Met Sally (@somethingtoavenge  w/ Bucky Barnes)

“I’ll be back.” Terminator

“Hasta la vista, baby.” Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

“Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.” The Pride of the Yankees

“We rob banks.” Bonnie and Clyde

“Well, nobody’s perfect.” Some Like it Hot

“Houston, we have a problem.” Apollo 13

“I could do this all day.” Captain America: The First Avenger/ Civil War

“We’re still friends, right?” Captain America: Civil War ( @starksparker w/ Tom Holland)

“Have you been playing Space Invaders? Because you’re invading my space!” Pixels ( @cas-backwards-tie w/ Peter Parker)

“Well, a boy’s best friend is his mother.” Psycho

“Well here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!” Sons of the Desert

“Say hello to my little friend.” Scarface

“(Mrs. Robinson) You’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?” the Graduate

“What a dump.” Beyond the Forest

“Is it safe?” Marathon Man

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet!" the Jazz Singer

“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” A Streetcar Named Desire

“Hello, gorgeous.” Funny Girl

“Surely you can’t be serious?” // “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.” Airplane!

“My precious.” Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

"Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it? You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!"  On Golden Pond ( @musiclover1263 w/ Peter Parker)

"Carpe diem. Seize the day(, boys). Make your live(s) extraordinary." Dead Poet Society.

“I’m the king of the world!” Titanic

“I’ll never let go, (Jack).” Titanic ( @spider-puck w/ Spideychelle)

“You make me want to be a better man.” As Good as it Gets ( @thewackywriter w/ mob!Tom Holland)

“As if!” Clueless ( @fratboievans w/ Peter Parker)

“They’re here!” Poltergeist

“We know each other. He’s a friend from work.” Thor: Ragnarok

“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! (This is the War Room.)” Dr. Strangelove

“I wish I knew how to quit you!” Brokeback Mountain ( @petersshirts w/ Tom Holland) 

“I’m not bad. I’m just (drawn) that way.” Who Framed Roger Rabbit (@lovelymalira w/ Bucky Barnes)

“Why so serious?” the Dark Knight

“Magic Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest one of all.” Snow White and the Seven Dwarves ( @thequeensardine w/ Harrison Osterfield)

“.... I dare you. I double dare you.” Pulp Fiction ( @hollandofthefree w/ Tom Holland)

“Look I probably should have told you this before but you see... well... insanity runs in my family... It practically gallops.” Arsenic and Old Lace

“It’s just a flesh wound.” Monty Python and the Holy Grail ( @sarahwritesfiction  w/ Steve Rogers)

“He might be okay….Well, no, probably not now.” Groundhog Day

“Life’s a bitch; now so am I.” Batman Returns ( @idontknowhowtowritesosorry w/ Shawn Mendes)

“That rug really tied to room together, did it not?” The Big Lebowski

“No, it’s a cardigan, but thanks for noticing.” Dumb and Dumber

“Is that all he said?” Lost in Translation

“Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler.” Office Space ( @totallytomholland w/ Peter Parker)

“You wanna come over?” // “No, thanks. I don’t want you fucking up my life, too.” Office Space (@mobtomsgirl w/ Tom Holland)

“Okay, sounds like a case of the Mondays.” Office Space

“And suddenly, I felt nothing.” Fight Club ( @brokennccrown w/ Steve Rogers)

“You can tell a lot about a person by what’s on their playlist.” Begin Again

“(Veronica), you look like hell.” // “Yeah, I just got back.” Heathers ( @peter-is-the-best-avenger w/ Peter Parker or Tom Holland)

“Lick it up, baby. Lick it up.” Heathers

“But… I guess if I love you, I should let you move on.” 17 Again

“I want my life to be like an 80’s movie.” Easy A

“What makes life so hard?” // “People.” An Affair to Remember

“Have you ever been in love?” // “I think so.” Love, Simon (@fandomscombine w/ Peter Parker)

“I don’t wanna go.” Avengers: Infinity War (@fantasyizlife w/ Tom Holland)

“I don’t want another single pop culture reference out of you for the rest of the trip. You understand?” Avengers: Infinity War

“I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy.” Guardians of the Galaxy ( @fantasyizlife w/ Shawn Mendes)

“You actually were telling the truth?” // “I do that quite a lot, yet people are always surprised.” Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest ( @fantasyizlife w/ Harrison Osterfield)

“I have what they call an unattractive face.” Gainsbourg: A Heroic Life

“Oh, somebody, stop me!” The Mask

“I didn’t come here to tell you I can’t live without you. I can live without you. I just don’t want to.” Rumor Has It ( @marcymakemagic w/ Peter Parker)

“Are you always this cocky?” // “Only on Tuesdays… and whenever beautiful women are involved.” // “So, you think I’m beautiful?” // “Actually… it’s Tuesday.” the Three Musketeers  ( @tomhollanders2013 w/ Tom Holland)

“I’m going to be a lady if it kills me.” Dinner at Eight

“Prove it…” Shane

“I’m sorry, (Dave). I’m afraid I can’t do that.” 2001: A Space Odyssey

“Kiss my hot lips.” M*A*S*H*

“You have my sympathies.” Alien

“Get away from her, (you bitch)!” Aliens

“You can be my wingman anytime.” Top Gun

“Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?” Batman

“Love your suit.” The silence of the Lambs

“Quid pro quo.” (= A favor for a favor) The Silence of the Lambs

“Always.” Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II ( @peter-parker-life w/ Tom Holland)

Good luck, have fun! 

Tagging some peeps to spread the word because this is one thing I don’t want to die:

@tomhiddleston-is-myboo @tonyintexas @andwhatdostarsdobest @tomsfireheart @spinneret-holland @rainbow-marvel  @lovelyh0lland @de-lir-i-ous @peter-parker-life @tomhollanders2013 @tomhollandthirst @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @darlingtholland @sweet-pea-imagines @anxiety-in-a-getaway-car @manhoeparker @h-osterfield  @positiveparker @casuallytumblingdownthestairs @justmesadgirl @fandomscombine @tom-holland-and-textposts @my-current-obsessions-hehe (Sorry to bother anyone.)

[imbriums-blog]

hello my angels ! i’m sorry this is so late but i’m sarah & i’m 18 yrs old & live in the hellhole that is ohio so the est timezone ! i’m ur token harry potter nerd & lover of all things musical... anyways u can hear more about 5/10 of my problematic children under the cut ! i’m gonna try to keep it short but i lov to talk so we’ll see ! if you’re willing to plot give this post a big mf like & i’ll come crawlin’ to ur ims !

— ✯ | barbara delaney savenkov ! + pinterest board !

tw: death, murder

laura harrier, cisfemale, she/her — have you met barbara delaney savenkov yet ? the twenty-three year old is known for being both poised and enticing, but also very skeptical and deceiving. born in san francisco, barbie now lives in soho, waiting tables at the fork and assassinating people on the side for some extra cash. + wanted connections !

so barbara was born n raised in san francisco, california to a solidly middle class family. her parents were divorced growing up, although they were friendly & got along well enough to be friends & co-parent barbie. she’d always been quite an idealist like Yes The World Is Good but when she was twenty, her dad had died due to a rogue heart attack that seemingly happened for no reason & it completely shattered barbara.

that’s when a local gang found her, at her ultimate low, & roped her into their business. she stayed w them for two years or so & at some point or another barbara started to realize that she didn’t think this business & way to make money was a good one. eventually, they starting cutting pay & barbara started to feel like she was bein manipulated. working w the gang kind of made her give up her optimism & is what truly formed her into the stone cold but somehow still elegant & captivating barbie she is today ! her idealistic attitude & never-ending optimism died with all of the shady shit that gang made her do.

then barbara was offered a job as an assassin for a powerful man doin some shady shit & she was unable to refuse even tho her first instinct was to turn it down – it offered great money & stability, & with the impression that she’d only be hurting people who deserved it, barbara shakily accepted the deal & left the gang !

she’s not pleased w the fact that she’s murdering ppl for a living, obviously, but she tries to make do with what she has & tells herself that the ppl she’s killing deserve it but !! messy !

personality-wise, barbara comes off as super intimidating at first n like she just doesn’t have feelings… super proper n always sitting upright n stiff as fuck… scares ppl away bc she seems like a robot at first

she's that kid who studies for the test like 3 weeks before it actually happens and has color coordinated highlighting and bullet journals.. she wants to be on top of everything, constantly – she doesn’t like feeling unorganized or like she’s falling apart ? i think it’s partially bc she tends to over perfect areas of her life like that, and like color coordinating her closet and making sure everything is tidy to make up for the Mess that is her secret career ??

one of the most annoying things ever is how perfect she seems on the surface ?? like, she likes everybody n is probably the type of person who rescues stray kittens from trees n sings as little birdies fly down & comb her hair or some shit but anyone close to barbie in real life knows she is a hardcore mess

that friend who’s like “oh my god i look so fat in this picture” n literally everybody groans bc shut the fuck up karen ur perfect

could literally say “fuck off” to somebody n the tone of voice she uses would make them think she was complimenting them

— ✯ | cordelia esther king ! + pinterest board !

alycia debnam-carey, cisfemale, she/her — have you met cordelia esther king yet ? the twenty-two year old is known for being both affable and buoyant, but also very whimsical and corybantic. born in salem, delia now lives in lambeth, working as a wedding planner and forming unrealistic expectations of true love.

so ngl cordelia is very inspired by jane from 27 dresses but w/ some twists so i’m not completely unoriginal

she was born to a pastor for a father in salem aka witch town ! cordelia was raised as kind of a perfect goody goody two shoes u know.. classic girl next door who sleeps w a teddy bear even at twenty-two & her entire room is covered in pink, she spends her spare time baking n blushing over boys smiling at her wtvr... she was always strong-willed & opinionated but shut up out of fear of being made fun of u know, kids these days r mean

so then when cordelia is old enough to leave her parents house ( let’s say like a year ago ) she decides that she’s tired of being the nice girl in the shadows & that she wants to live life more on the edge so she vows to start living life dangerously & being badass... whatever that means

it’s actually kind of funny, because she’ll stroll into a bar & bat her eyelashes at the bartender & single ppl in the room to try & get them to order a drink for her solely bc she doesn’t know the names of any drinks... has no common sense & is too naive for her own good ( what is a handjob... what does “on the rocks” mean ) but the girl’s trying to [ troy bolton vc ] break free so who am i to judge ?

she’s a wedding planner who’s actually in love with the idea of love & has watched the notebook 1 too many times... despite her being wildt nowadays she’s still into the whole “when i meet the one for me my foot will pop when we kiss & i’ll feel fireworks” thing.. it’s cute but also sad but ! cute !

personality-wise... she’s outspoken & friendly & incredibly flirty, but at the same time she probably either assumes you’re flirting w her when you’re really not or has no clue that you’re hitting on her when ur literally kissing her

is totally sandy at the end of grease when she’s like “tell me about it, stud” acting all badass but then doesn’t know what to do w her cigarette butt & looks nervously at her friends like WTF DO I DO

please come corrupt her or fuck her up... or be nice 2 her & teach her how to be a human being

— ✯ | dexter leroy bates ! + pinterest board !

torrance coombs, cismale, he/him — have you met dexter leroy bates yet ? the thirty-one year old is known for being both inventive and idealistic, but also very farouche and indecisive. born in hackney, dex now lives in croydon, editing badly filmed videos and gluing himself to a camera 24/7.

basically a nerdy starving artist based on mark from rent with a lil bit of peter parker in him

a broke ass bitch living in croydon trying his best to make it as a photographer / film maker

he has huge dreams of hollywood but his films r probably kinda bad... but he tries his best n i love him for it

kinda nerdy & word vomit-y... super cute... would die for his friends but also would kill u for insulting one of them

is that nerd that is actually hot n buff n shit but u never notice bc he wears hoodies n hides behind a camera bc i lov stereotyping apparently

i don’t really have his backstory worked out yet tbfh so really ? go wild w connections for my son

— ✯ | davina leigh cordero ! + pinterest board !

lauren jauregui, cisfemale, she/her — have you met davina leigh cordero yet ? the twenty-one year old is known for being both intuitive and diligent, but also very seclusive and obstinate. born in whitby, davina now lives in soho, studying journalism and avoiding as much human interaction as possible.

100% based on rory gilmore bc apparently even tho i’m on season 2 i luv the characters Too Much

basically everything i aspire 2 be in a person... hardworking as fuck, loves school so fricking much, antisocial as hell ! 

davina is deadass brilliant & her idea of wild is staying up past 11 on a school night or waiting to do her homework on saturday instead of friday

sweet, a lil bit awkward, but the cutest ever n i would die for her

would much rather be chillin w her books than anything else tbh & doesn’t know how to hold proper interactions but it’s more charming than anything else

grew up with only her dad mostly, since her mom worked full time & lived out of town for reasons but they both love her a ton. her dad would give her the whole world if he could, & owns a quaint little coffee shop in whitby & is constantly calling davina to check up on her... when she got older her mom moved back in w her dad so since then she’s gotten a lot closer to her but there’s still just such a bond between her dad & her u know

what is romance ? davina doesn’t know

come fuck her up

— ✯ | sawyer maisie pitman ! + pinterest board !

josefine frida pettersen, cisfemale, she/her — have you met sawyer maisie pitman yet ? the twenty year old is known for being both undaunted and driven, but also very apathetic and blunt. born in bristol, sawyer now lives in wandsworth, being a tragically pathetic starving artist & student.

so sawyer was adopted as a baby, unnamed, to two moms who love her more than anything in the world. one’s a publisher & one’s an english professor, & they’re both huge fricking nerds, so she was named after tom sawyer !

as soon as she could walk she was talented with art & everything that had to do with it & not long after entering high school she decided that that’s what she wanted to do & nothing was going to get in the way of it

now, as a student & hopeful artist, sawyer is dead set on getting where she wants to be & has no tolerance for bullshit... like if u ain’t helping her further her career, ur unimportant to her

relationships ? cancelled. romance is a DISTRACTION from her work & only complicates her life !

blunt as fuck & doesn’t sugar coat things. she says things like they are & expects others to do the same bc she has no time for drama or whatnot

stubborn as fuck & nearly impossible to talk to sometimes bc she’s so set in her ways but hey love me a strong woman amirite

sharp-tongued & sarcastic as fuck but can be incredibly kind when the time is right !

[o0yoongifreckles0o]

92 statements

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people!

(if i tag you, no pressure at all to do this!)

Okay so I was tagged by @blkguk (tysm!)

THE LAST...

1. Drink- water

2. Phone call- my grandma

3. Text- group chat with my 2 little sisters

4. Song you listened to-  bts not today

5. Time you cried- the other night while watching gay proposal compilation videos

HAVE YOU...

6. Dated someone twice- nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it- yepyepyep 

8. Been cheated on- yep. a couple of times. 

9. Lost someone special- yes

10. Been depressed- bitch when am i not depressed

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up- ...yes *shivers* i will never touch rum or coconut vodka ever again

LIST 3 FAV COLORS:

12. pastel pink

13. mint green

14...any other shade of pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU...

15. Made any new friends- yes and she is a wonderful angel (sammie ily)

16. Fallen out of love- yes.

17. Laughed until you cried- yes thanks to several bts crack videos

18. Found our someone was talking about you- yep.

19. Met someone who changed you- *blushes* yeah...

20. Found our who your friends are- yes i’ve decided to really only keep a couple of people close to me.

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list- ...my ex when we were still together 

GENERAL

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life- all of them

23. Any pets- my little baby kitty her name is naho and i love her more than anything else in the entire universe

24. Do you want to change your name- no that’s too much work

25. What did you do for your last birthday- my sister took me to the aquarium and to get a tattoo she is the best

26. What time did you wake up- like 12:30

27. What were you doing at midnight last night- waking up from a very ill timed nap

28. Name something you cannot wait for- bts comeback oh yeeeaah 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom- a few weeks ago before I moved out of state

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life- um definitely no social anxiety wow imagine the things i could accomplish

31. What are you listening to right now- i like it (bts)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom- yes the manager of a book store i just applied to

33. Something that is getting on your nerves- the first thing that popped into my head was game of thrones. that show is trying to kill me.

34. Most visited website- tumblr and youtube

35. Moles- uuum let me check one on my face one on my thigh and a couple on my arms wow you learn something new every day

36. Marks- stretch marks also do freckles count bc i have a whole bunch of those

37. Childhood dream- to be happy when i grew up

38. Hair color- naturally red but dyed pastel pink

39. Long or short hair- short

40. Do you have a crush on someone- yes and she is wonderful.

41. What do you like about yourself- my eyes

42. Piercings- nose ring and snakebites

43. Blood type- no idea

44. Nickname- dia

45. Single- yep

46. Zodiac- virgo

47. Pronouns- she/her

48. Favorite tv show- got, avatar the last airbender, buffy, the office, your lie in april, toradora (how tf am i supposed to choose one)

49. Tattoos- i’ve got 10 and i need mooooooore

50. Right or left handed- right

51. Surgery- no

52. Piercings- yes

53. Sport- no thank u

54. Vacation- Japan

55. Pair of trainers- black converse high tops

MORE GENERAL

56. Eating- i just had some bomb ass cookies

57. Drinking- water i am boring

58. I’m about to go- boop my cat’s nose

59. Waiting for- my life to stop feeling like a complete mess

60. Want- more tattoos asap

61. Get married- yes please someday i am a hopeless romantic 

62. Career- ha that’s funny

WHICH IS BETTER

63. Hugs or kisses- both i refuse to choose they are both fantastic

64. Lips or eyes- eyes

65. Shorter or taller- short people are so cute i can’t

66. Older or younger- ...i don’t know

67. Nice arms or nice stomach- eh it doesn’t really matter

68. Hookup or relationship- relationship 

69. Troublemaker or hesitant- hesitant as fuck

HAVE YOU EVER

70. Kissed a stranger- nope

71. Drank hard liquor- yes

72. Lost contacts or glasses- i don’t use either perfect vision bitch

73. Turned someone down- yeah only this one guy in my history class no one else has ever been interested 

74. Sex on the first date- no i haven’t 

75. Broken someone’s heart- yes, recently. it’s awful.

76. Had your heart broken- yes. dirty cheating lying scumbag piece of shit. hooooooooooo boy am i still angry about that one.

77. Been arrested- no

78. Cried when someone died- yes.

79. Fallen for a friend- yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

80. Yourself- sure why not

81. Miracles- no

82. Love at first sight- no (i may be a hopeless romantic but i am also cynical as heck) 

83. Santa claus- yes he is real fight me

84. Kiss on the first date- yes

85. Angels- i was going to say no but then i thought about park jimin.

OTHER

86. Favorite animals- otters and sloths

87. Important albums- magical mystery tour (the beatles), the white album (the beatles), let it be (the beatles), suburbia (troye sivan), wings (bts), dark and wild (bts), skool luv affair (bts), young forever (bts), demon days (the gorillaz), back to black (amy winehouse)

88. Favorite books- a man called ove, harry potter, series of unfortunate events, a tree grows in brooklyn, coraline, night, the golden compass, ready player one, the hobbit, misery

89. Introvert or extrovert- introvert

90. Current best friend’s name- sammie

91. Eye color- green

92. Favorite movies- princess mononoke, ponyo, howl’s moving castle, spirited away, anything studio ghibli, moana, pulp fiction, kill bill

i tag @sammiebombastic @o0taesboxsmile0o @gayhoseoks @agust-d-bts @slapmon @mozzakarp @maritheweird @hobiimportantbusiness @hoseokslegsandjiminsthighs @naplikeyoongi @cheekmoops @luckilykelsey @parasitekinn @ghosttypejoon

@becausefuckyouuthatswhy @cinnaminnimonster

[swearronchanel]

I rewatched 5.09 aka The 2016 Christmas Special

I officially have done nothing productive all day. I did finish rewatching The Nanny though if that counts 😂😂 I forgot how much it made me laugh. Anyway I’m randomly in the mood to watch the 2016 Christmas special so why not post? Btw this will be long af  this IS incredibly long but I just had so many thoughts ya’ know?

Ah I’m excited again, this was such a great special don’t @ me

The Turners! ANGELA’S LITTLE NURSE UNIFORM 😭💕 SO PRECIOUS

SHELAGH LOOKING LIKE A BABE😍

TRIXIE looking a babe 😍 she assisted in the cesarean.. later she’ll do it herself ahh

I want to have Christmas dinner at Nonnatus aww

“To absent friends"💔 my freaking heart breaks, sister MJ’s face! ugh she misses sister Evangelina. But don’t we all?

More cute Angela not talking as usual (still waiting for a word)

I want Trixie’s Christmas outfit, I want all her clothes though 😍

WE OUT TO SOUTH AFRICA

# LETS GET IT 1962

rip to sister felicity tho

More Shelagh being flawless, like yes Laura Main is so gorgeous don’t sleep on it

”God moves in a mysterious manner" lol shelagh I just love u don’t ever change

“Our own son had polio once” yes use guilt to make your point & get ur way

take notes people

“What you did I did, where you go I go..” excuse me while my heart fucking melts 😭😭

I remember watching this Christmas Day & my mom and I did the same sigh and “aww” expression at that line

She loves the show and is going to be shook when she watches series 6 lol

Also like Shelagh’s dress is so cute I’m here for it

Lmaoo I was wondering for so long beforehand why tf they brought Fred?? They Need those engineering skills apparently  

CMON BABY DO THE LOCOMOTION 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

Yess the music is lit

Trixie’s turquoise dress 👌🏻👌🏻 I want it

Tims leg braces! I actually noticed them and was lowkey proud because I rarely notice shit in the background

More Shelagh being adorable, as always

Get those vaccinations💉💉 f*ck shots though lmao I hate them

What is Patrick whispering to Shelagh? 👀👀

That’s almost right up there with what in the actual fuck did he write in those letters to get her to ditch the habit and wimple 😉😏😉 NO BUT FOR REAL WHAT DID HE SAY? We’ll never know *sigh*

I’m here for everything Trixie wears lets be real

LOL SISTER JULIENNE BASICALLY TELLING BABS SHE CANT BE FOOLING AROUND WITH HER MAN OVERSEAS

don’t even argue that she’s making a big deal with any of that “he’s a vicar, she’s a vicar’s daughter, they don’t believe in premarital sex” either cause they were making out in public before and he was grabbing her ass in a CONVENT Lmaooo (good for him he’s not letting god stop him😂) jk I’m going to hell for all the jokes I’ve made through out this show anyway

I feel though, so im letting them live

But still the married couple barely touch each other 😂 so I’m a little salty *pretend there’s a salt shaker emoji* Fu*k it though

Also Patsy and Delia have been together for a while and haven’t kissed either as far as I remember

BEATRIX FRANKLIN SLAYING AS ALWAYS 😍😍 love her coat and glasses and everything she is

And yikes that swimsuit babs lol

There’s Patsy! With the horrible horrible wig :/

Sister MJ with the Christmas cake 😭😭 aye bendito she just wants to share it

How rich with alcohol is it sister? Pass it over

By guys🙋🏼 we out this Bitch ✈️🚢

The music makes me so happy 😭❣️

“Look at you Barbara! brussel sprout green” Lmaoo ew I hate Brussel sprouts and also throwing up in general😂 sorry babs you’re gross rn

Legit I have not thrown up since I was like 8, I refuse to let myself 😭😂and 3 semesters in to university and lots of parties and drinks I’ve never actually thrown up (been pretty close though haha) *knocks on wood so I don’t jinx it*

I love Phyllis. Have I said that yet??

“..do you have anything to stop my mascara from running” lol I am Trixie

but was there no waterproof mascara yet?

uh oh here comes the asshole sergeant (I think it’s the same guy as later on?), and Tom is so reasonable lol

 Shelagh’s hat with the flowers lol, but yes her cute summer dress love it, glad she only took one cardigan 😂

Lol when the sergeant tells Trixie don’t smile 😂😂

yes Dr Myra pulled up, I thought she was kinda bitchy at first and still kinda do but she’s tough and badass so I’m here for it

“I can see the caption now, English Roses dash African Skies exclamation mark!” .. “this is a new camera” LOL AGAIN PHYLLIS IS A GEM I LOVE HER SHE’S SO FUNNY

And again Trixie’s dress, it’s so pretty I want it😭😭

And again I’m Trixie, talking about needing a face mask 😂

lol Babs you smell like grajo 😂

Phyllis sniffing her 😂 “you’ve had enough barley sugar and sympathy”

The spider 😂 I don’t like spiders so I relate lol & Barbara killing it and coming at Phyllis with the clapback “there’s venom on it and some backbone”

Why do I find the linen habits funny?

Aw Shelagh “it’s at times like this I wonder what would Sister Evangelina do” I’m so glad she brought her up

Rip sister E 😰

I feel like Patrick would still feel hot in that linen suit, like it’s still a suit lol? same with the nuns but like they have no other choice

Alright I’ll give Dr Myra that though asking about radium treatment was naive of Patrick

Fred is so funny though 😂 leaving his mark by shaving lol

Throwback to Shelagh’s og bri nylon nightgown’s first appearance 😉  

“What’s all this” LOL about to be the cause of this miraculous conception that’s what 😂

“It’s made of a new material called bri nylon..” Shelagh is so cute and genuinely wanting to explain 💕

Lol like cmon u know Patrick probably doesn’t give a fuck and is gonna take it off

Of course Trixie would be mad she didn’t get to set her hair

“That hat covers a multitude of sins” that’s legit one of my fav Barbara lines 😂😂

Shelagh is the only one who brought the belt to her uniform because she’s Shelagh & has to look calm, cool, collected and professional lol

Phyllis’s kink: rolodex systems 📇

lol I really do like Dr Myra, making Patrick feel dumb and I don’t care

“..and they live in a society that is gradually stripping them of any dignity or freedoms they ever had..” again I like Dr Myra a lot. I didn’t really think she had a white savior complex as some people thought because she wasn’t trying to change anything just to help. She even says later on she does it for their need not her beliefs

Proud of Babs for learning xhosa phrases 

Just watching this man run makes me tired & he has like tb right? yup

LOL PHYLLIS IS LIKE DO I LOOK SCARED? kicking Fred out the drivers side 😂

“I’m all for persistence in the face of adversity” I loved this scene between Trixie and Roza 😭💕 too bad I didn’t know I was gonna end up sobbing later

Did the nurses and everyone know how bad Apartheid was?

“We have to bloom where we are planted” VANESSA REDGRAVE SAID A VARIATION OF THIS IN THE SERIES 2 CHRISTMAS SPECIAL WHEN MY BBY SHELAGH WAS GETTING READY BEFORE THE WEDDING I REMEMBER  

Damn tho Dr Myra didn’t have to yell at the lady :/

THE SCENERY THOUGH, I WANT TO GO TO SOUTH AFRICA

Phyllis learned some xhosa too and im not surprised, she does it all

“Do you have the means to protect this mother and myself” no, “Then I don’t wish to hear anymore about it” PHYLLIS IS HARDCORE SHE DOES NOT GIVE ANY SHITS I LOVE IT

Aw Tom watching babs with the baby

lol I’m not ready for them to have a kid so I hope they wait a series at least

“NURSE BUCKLE” im cryin laughing 😂 I need more of the Phyllis and Fred dynamic

She just had a baby IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE, YES THE MOTHERS ARE HEROINES

“Hells teeth” lol Patrick tried to make hells bells a thing but we know it can’t compare

Trixie serving another look, but whats new? But yes girl you watch those c-sections you’re up to the plate soon!

Haha she’s gonna teach Babs how to smoke

“They aren’t good for you, and the pair of you should know that” YES PHYLLIS WHY DOESNT TRIXIE KNOW OR CARE?

LOL SISTER WINIFRED we know you’re a red head

Idc, sister W used to smoke. I know it 😂 she was living it up before joining the order and lowkey while she’s been a nun, I just want to know her real name?

Of course Shelagh is worried about the lack of records but aye there’s the dress from 6.03 that magically fit even though her uniform didn’t 🙃?

“Typhoo, we brought it with us” YES I HAVE IT & I KNOW WHAT IT IS NOW & CAN RELATE

This scene with Roza & Constance & the nurses + sister W was so sweet I loved it 💕

“Why you should never be sorry, just be glad” 😭😭 there must be something in my eye that’s why it’s watery

Lol aw Trixie saying sister Winifred don’t go yet

Sister Winifred dancing 😂 go to compline

I lowkey have the sister Bernadette unhappy with being a nun vibes from sister Winifred except she’s never really unhappy? You get me? Like she’s annoyingly enthusiastic (in a cute way) most of the time but you can tell she wants to do thing nuns can’t do

“I just want to get it started so I can run him over”  DO IT FRED ILL GIVE U $5

“I’m here on a missionary basis, I’m trying not to think uncharitable thoughts” LOL DONT WORRY TOM, SHELAGH’s GOT YOU COVERED

“I’m perfectly happy to think them for you” and she pushes her glasses up 😂 I LOVE The sas. I love her. & then Patrick is like “that’s my girl” & it’s cute af

Dr Myra you’re in pain, I see you

LMAO SHE MAD THAT SISTER FELICITY DIED LIKE SHE MADE THE CHOICE?

“I don’t believe in any of that” how do you tell a nun you don’t believe in God lol?

CHURCH LIT 💃🏼👏🏼

SHELAGH & SISTER WINIFRED TRYING TO COPY THEIR DANCE IS THE CUTEST THING 😭

All of them in the back of the truck is  the second cutest thing 😭✨

I cherish the two seconds Shelagh and Trixie sat next to each other 😭 I just want them to be friends!! give me a cute scene between them pls, I won’t stop asking till I get one

yikes @ the water, STILL RELEVANT IN 2017! even in the US in flint

THE ELEPHANTS! ah love it. I want to go on an African safari 😭 guess I have to settle for the fake on in Disney’s Animal Kingdom.. it’s lit though I won’t lie

Mathias and Able 💔💔 and Patrick explaining “man to man”

“All medicine is good, usually” UGH THE THALIDOMIDE

No Dr Myra!!

It’s not liver cancer!! Ah now to wait till they realize

“There’s never no hope at all Patrick, it’s 1962” YES SHELAGH, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. ESPECIALLY CAUSE YOU’RE HAVING A FREAKING BABY, #LETSGETIT1962

Don’t worry Tom, leave it to the pros. Sister Julienne is gonna handle Mr Stark(e)?

SHELAGH WITH THE GOATS IM DEAD, why is she scared of goats but delivered fucking piglets in series 1? I’d be more scared of pigs?

Shelagh talking to sister MJ on the phone 😭💕 THEYRE BOTH PRECIOUS

fuck it’s Roza, brb im gonna cry now

😰😰💔💔 phantom pregnancy

Trixie hurting me more

beach time 🌞🌞

SHELAGH TURNER AKA SISTER BERNADETTE SERVING LOOKS ON THE BEACH. I’ve seen this 3 times and I’m still shook like The hat, the swimsuit, the sunglasses, I am d e a d once again😍😍 when will your fav ever??  She’s sunburnt and still killing it

LOL spicy sausage.. 

Phyllis in trousers >>

Also Phyllis had her camera where are the photos when they get back?

BEATRIX FRANKLIN SLAYING IN the black two piece and clubmasters AGAIN, when will your fav ever?

HOW DO I GET TO LOOK LIKE THAT? 😭😭😍😍

How am I so attached to Trixie and Shelagh’s characters like wtf?? Everything they do and say and wear, I’m just shook all the time. It’s not normal

Like Laura Main and Helen George could literally punch me in the face and I’d thank them

Why did Barbara get so mad on the beach with Tom? I feel the stress was real but damn

lol shoutout to everyone on Tumblr for pointing out that Shelagh and Patrick were being cute in the corner watching the sunset or whatever

I loved this scene between Tom and Trixie💕

MY BBY HAS COME SO FAR, SHE’S GROWN AND SHE IS THRIVING. LIKE SHE’S ABOUT TO PERFORM A DAMN C-SECTION 😭

also she looks so beautiful, I want to look like that ah😍

Shelagh with the picture of Tim and Angela 😭💔💔

THEN SHE TOOK IS TO THE HOSPITAL UGH, so glad that is over it was too much

“I knew that yearning once, I was lucky because it left me when we adopted our daughter..” UGH CRYIN AND NOW SHE’S HAVING A BABY ANYWAY

BUT I LOVED THIS SCENE AS WELL

Shelagh is understanding & not judgmental of Dr Myra and I just love seeing her nursing & well I love everything she does but I’m so glad she had such great screen time

FRED DOING THE HAND MOTIONS FOR WHAT TOM WAS SAYING LMAO

“Medicine isn’t about doing what’s easy, it’s about doing what’s essential” yes Patrick, we have come full circle

there’s always a moment when I watch ctm and I’m like “I should’ve tried to become a nurse” then I’m like LOL NAH. The nursing program is so intense at my university I wouldn’t pass it anyway 😂

my mother’s a nurse though, I’ll leave it to her. After watching this episode it reminded her of how she always wanted to do a mission trip or like nurses without boarders and was trying to tell my dad she still wants to go 😂

too bad I’ve ruined her plans because my university’s tuition is ungodly & I didn’t get one damn scholarship

“No anesthesia” DR MYRA IS NO JOKE, kick ass woman.

Patrick, Shelagh and Sister J aka the dream team

How did they fake this? So crazy

“When people have no love to live for, it’s so very easy to fill that void with hate” 💔💔 something is in my eye again😭

“ Look where we ended up” “WE HAVEN’T ENDED UP ANYWHERE..and I’m not going to say anything else because I’m afraid I may speak sharply and no matter how high the stakes you don’t deserve that” HELL YEA SHELAGH, I’m so proud.

Sister W casually trying to not look at the handsome but sweaty Tom

Oh shit Dr Myra’s down

CORRA SHELAGH

Shelagh holding the umbrella and laying in the back with Dr Myra >>

Now Constance’s going into labor

Mr Stark I know you think you have a reason to be an asshole but wtf she’s a nun? Like you don’t even feel slightly disrespectful?

“I know what is it to have nothing but a photograph or two..” UGH THAT EPISODE WITH SISTED J’S OLD BOYFRIEND KILLED ME

I love Sister Julienne, I hope we can see hear more of her past.

Lol pbs cut that scene of Babs singing but why?

“Then we have no choice. We have to operate ourselves.” YOU CAN DO IT TRIXIE

the first time watching this my anxiety was on 1000

Phyllis tying up Trixie’s gown up like they’re suiting up for battle

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND IM STILL NERVOUS

THE BABY IS STUCK LIKE I WOULDVE FREAKED TF OUT

this is also why I won’t be a nurse or doctor lol, I’m always panicking

BABS PUSH THE BABY BACK UP

AYE GRACIAS DIOS, ALL IS WELL

“Well done Trixie, I couldn’t be more proud of you” 😭💕 me either

Yea I say you earned a cigarette

Better late than never to make amends I guess, but get that clean water going asap no rocky

The Turners are back 👏🏼

THE CAKE TIN 😭😭

& Able and Mathias 😭😭

Aw Tom proposing ☺️ I don’t really feel anything for them as a couple but this was a cute moment 😭

SHELAGH AND PATRICK GIVING TIM’S LEG BRACES TO MATHIAS AH MY HEART

And they got the water 😭

I LIED BEFORE EVERYONE JUMPING UNDER THE WATER PUMP IS THE CUTEST THING😭💕👏🏼✨

“Not all gifts come tied in ribbons, or at a special time of year. Some blessings surprise us arriving unlabeled and we embrace them in a blaze of joy” DAMN IT VANNESSA IM CRYIN THANKS (also now it seems like foreshadow for baby Turner)

Roza as secretary!! My heart again

I bet Trixie took over like a badass while Dr Myra was recovering

THE GOATS HAHA

PHYLLIS TAKING ALL THOSE PHOTO’S AT THE END IS THE GREATEST PART 😭💖 IM SO HAPPY AND MY HEART GROWS LIKE THE GRINCH EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS SHOW

LOL THE NUNS GOT PHOTOBOMBED BY A CHICKEN

AND CUE REDGRAVE

“But though they’d given their labor and their love, they also took and they learned and they went home wiser, enriched in ways they could not count”

The End 😭😭💕💕😰😰

Ugh I don’t care, that special was spectacular and I loved every minute.

[bitter-ramblings]

Tw: rape, sexual abuse

Pretty heavy stuff, major viewers discretion advised. 

I’ve been sexually abused for as long as I can remember. Boom, that’s a fucking bombshell.

As with a lot of people who were abused young, my abuser was a family member, my cousin in fact. He’d got only one year on me, but that year was enough. I don’t remember a time when we weren’t playing with each other, every Sunday we’d be locked in the back kitchen after dinner and be left to our own devices. I remember one time we were caught naked covering each other in ink stamps.

Of course, as he got older he learned more and wanted to explore more, and I didn’t know enough that I needed to stop him. Not till I was 11 and received sex education from a shitty video at primary school, prior to that I had no idea about anything. After that, I became a lot more wary, fearful of pregnancy (hadn’t begun menstruating at that time but I was scared all the same). He wanted to have sex properly, but I was scared of the pain, so his answer to that was anal.

In order to alleviate my fear of losing my virginity (an outdated concept I fucking loathe) I broke my own hymen using a fragrance bottle, hurt like a bitch but I didn’t bleed. I kind of felt a surge of pride that no one would ever be able to hurt me like that. By the time we were 16 this behaviour had dwindled practically into nothingness, he visited less and less and we both moved on. He got himself a girlfriend, and I… Was terrified of everyone. I very rarely see him these days, only at family gatherings and then he refuses to be alone with me.

When I was 14 in high school there was a boy I talked to called Carl, again he was a year older than me. Carl was previously in a relationship with my friend Mousey, and he pined over them something terrible and decided that he’d try and worm his way back in by taking advantage of me. Me, being the naive kid that I was. He invited me over to his house to meet his dog, who he punched and abused, he does not deserve a dog so sweet and loving at all.

He’d just come back from holiday and had brought back some absinthe, which I then foolishly drank and it put me on my arse. I remember him pulling me upstairs and pushing me onto the bed. I was unable to speak coherently, so I put my hands over myself. He flipped me over and had his way with my backside. It was quick at least. Afterwards, I staggered to the bathroom and cleaned myself up, he followed me and laughed when he saw he’d made me bleed. He then left me where I was and went downstairs to watch Scrubs. I fucking hate that show. I had to walk home.

I wasn’t sexually active again until I was 18 and going to Reaseheath College, studying to be a zoologist. It strange I used to have ambition, but that was squashed pretty quickly. I wasn’t friends with anyone (had a really bad time, more on that another story), I was just wandering aimlessly around the campus in the cold, trying not to cry because of how fucking miserable I was. I was approached by Dei, a welsh farming student at the college, 1-3 years older than me. He approached me and asked me if I was okay. I was in such a bad place that I actually just tried to sidestep him. He persisted and introduced himself, asking if I needed a friend and somewhere to go. He told me he’d find me later as he had class.

Soon I was invited back to his room and we spent out time together watching Eddsworld and Tomska, at first. He was pursuing a girl called Becky but somehow deluded himself that he thought I liked him. I liked him as a friend, but he’d always say “don’t fall in love with me okay?” And it pissed me off to no end. For someone so interested in someone else he was eager to stick his cock in my mouth. He’d frequently urge me to do things because he wanted to help me ‘learn’. He frequently treated me like a child because of my inexperience and would talk down to me. 

I’d go to his room for a nap, or just to get away from the hell I was already putting up with at college. I started just blanking him out, letting him go about his business, just focusing on the videos. Ironically Darksquidges sex education is one I remember watching. (Funnily enough, Tom Ridgewell, the owner of both Darksquidge and Tomska, his videos are a good coping mechanism for me, both he and Edd from Eddsworld were very dear to me growing up, and I managed to regain joy in watching them.) Dei bit my ear so hard he damaged the cartilage. He never knew when to stop.

At the same time, this was happening I met Tyler, also at Reasheath, also 1-3 years older than me. (Not Tyler Durden, but close.) The first time I ever met Tyler I was in the library doing some work, he approached me and told me I sit funny. He then sat beside me and started telling me his life story of being born in Malaysia and how evil his parents are. He also hated Dei, and was friends with the aforementioned Becky. He told me he wanted to save me from Dei, which I thought was complete bullshit.

After meeting me twice he declared himself my boyfriend. He’d frequently touch me in public, and once I got him off in the library. He’d frequently drag me into the disabled toilets. The first time we went in there, he made me give him a blowjob and he came in my mouth, which I specifically asked him not to do. His cum was gross, and he started doing it regularly. He’d buy me a strawberry YOP as an 'apology’. He told me he loved me and it made me feel sick, but what was worse was that he seemed to genuinely believe that he did.

Once I reported him for assaulting me. Do you know what they said to me? “Are you sure? He’s such a nice boy. Did you lead him on? Maybe you misunderstood.” That made me feel like absolute shit and nothing was ever followed up with it. I eventually left Reaseheath with no qualifications because of all the distress I was in.

When I was 20, I’d gone back to my local college and was once again studying animal management. And I was so happy. It was the first time I was openly trans, and I was accepted and validated by my classmates every day. They were false friends and I couldn’t stand any of them, but they made me feel good about myself. One person, in particular, was a lad named Reece.

We had a lot in common and I liked him, but he wasn’t into guys and was pining after the resident pretty girl of the class. She made it pretty clear he’d got no chance and he took it really hard, I supported him throughout. One time we were watching Full Metal Alchemist brotherhood on his bed and he turned to me and kissed me. I was understandably thrilled and soon had his shirt off. Everything was all well and good as he undressed me, except for the fact that I actually neglected to tell him I don’t have a penis. Him being a straight guy you’d think this would be a good thing but apparently not. He went down on me, but soon just straightened up and announced: “this is wrong.” And stomped away. He actually left the house, leaving me in his bedroom naked. I got dressed and went down, asked his mum to keep an eye on him because “I think I made a mistake” and then walked home. He refused to talk to me or even look at me for the rest of the academic year, and still to his day ignores me if he sees me walking by.

That same year, Tyler was in Stoke and invited me out for drinks, I foolishly agreed because apparently I never fucking learn. I went to Wetherspoons with him and his friend James. They got me drunk, drove me to the local park and they took turns with me. This was the first instance of vaginal penetration via a penis I’d encountered, so by conventional standards, I lost my virginity at the age of 20, in a threesome whilst being guilty as all fuck over Reece.

My asexual pal Mousey got sick of people saying “you can’t be asexual if you’ve never had sex” and I was chosen as tribute. It was quite an honour to be honest, that they trusted me with their body in this way. They came and offered to reciprocate, but I declined the offer. I didn’t want them to do something they’d regret. This happened a few times but they are most definitely comfortable in their asexuality.

For my 21st birthday, I went on a tinder date with someone who became very dear to me. Sex with him was easy and passionate, I wasn’t afraid, I trusted him so easily. What I wasn’t aware of was that he was in a relationship at the time (shit was really fucked up and it’s not my business to go into details or judge), and his having sex with me brought an end to the relationship. He taught me the poly ways and introduced me to his other partners.

I was so happy, I felt included and cared about for the first time. We got together officially after Halloween, with some very passionate hotel sex as a celebration. Things were good, he introduced me to his friends and I went to the pub quiz with them. I felt like I’d found my place. But then as so often happens with me, shit got fucked real quick.

He had to break up with one of his partners due to issues they were having, he got together in a neat little triad (like holy shit they are so cute), but his mental health took a dive so badly, he couldn’t spend any time with me. At that time I was going through some bad shit myself, in fact, I attempted suicide. I started drinking too much and making a nuisance of myself. I didn’t feel appreciated, called him pompous. He always felt he knew best and treated me like a child. Probably because I was acting like it, but I’ve never liked ‘holier than thou’ attitudes. 

I started to feel that he didn’t want me to be part of his world anymore. The invitations to go places with him stopped, the kisses and the murmured 'i love you’s. He outright refused to take me to kink events, “it’s too much for you” “you don’t have to get into kink” without any regard to the fact that I wanted to explore who I am. He labelled me a “blue player” meaning I can't reach orgasm with another person. Maybe that’s true, but I didn’t appreciate him not trying very hard.

Because of my past history, he wouldn’t treat me roughly, he wouldn’t hold me down and take me. I think he choked me twice and that was more to show that he could after I goaded him for being a chicken. He always treated me like I was delicate, and I ended up resenting him for it. The roughest thing he ever did, he did when drunk and can’t remember it. (A lot of the sex we had was when we were drunk, maybe that says something) He held my head and throat fucked me then came on my face… Then fell asleep. And they say romance is dead.

There was one time I really needed him with me, and he physically could not get out of bed to help me, utterly crippled by the weight of his own depression. I didn’t blame him, I know how he feels. That’s when I knew I needed to let him go. He didn’t need me, we couldn’t help each other the way we were now.

I let him go on valentine’s day. I miss the time I used to spend with him, but we weren’t doing each other any favours towards the end, I think I made the right decision for the both of us. He is happy with his partners, and it brings me joy to see them so happy together.

Last time I had sex was January 25th, at a cuddle and play party. There were so many lovely people there and it was such a lovely environment. Curse my shyness. But I did meet up with the two people I’d been most eager to meet. Now that was a good night. Lots of exploration and good times, it was very playful. (Best dick I’ve ever had was attached to a woman) I was fucking baffled when I was asked what I like and how I like it. I was never really given many options previously. But after all was said and done, my mental state just crashed and I froze, I went to sit under a table away from other guests because I was so overwhelmed by everything. Both of them were so understanding, and I managed to talk to a few more people before the night was through.

The thing that fucks me up most in regards to sex is that I can have someone completely at my mercy, pinned under me and begging for me… And then I look down… And I don’t have a penis. The shock and horror I feel is incomparable to anything else. The fact that I will never be able to feel myself sliding into someone and fucking them senseless is honestly something that brings me great distress.

Maybe that’s why I like Doggystyle so much, my eyes are facing forward, I don’t look down and see what I’m missing. It’s such a headfuck to just not see a penis there, I cannot explain the bizarreness of it. Mostly just rambling. At some point, I’ll be doing a post about kinks as I’ve been specifically asked about what they are and where they stem from.

[doubledrivel-blog]

11. Chinese Big Baller Bail - Awful NBA Officiating - Not Much Hornets Buzz - Eric Bledsoe Gets out of Phoenix

Greg:  Hello and welcome to another episode of Double Drivel. We are a weekly podcast offering a fan's perspective on the news and issues surrounding the NBA. Thank you for joining us. My name is Greg and I am joined as always by my co-host JT. You can find us on Twitter @doubledrivelers or email us at doubledrivelpodcast@gmail.com. JT what up my friend?

JT: Hey Greg, not too much at all. Hanging in there, watching basketball, living life, playing a little at the old local Y

Greg: Getting down?

JT: I played today. A lot of elbows being thrown there Greg. They're dirty elbows. We had a good time. That's how they do it down there.

Greg: We got some great stories this week. Harden goes for 56 on the Jazz, I know you like that story. Eric Bledsoe is going to the Bucks. We’ll start with some piss-poor officiating. What is going on in Oklahoma City?

JT: Can I be so bold as to say they're being targeted?

Greg: I don't know if you can say they're being targeted. They have some aggressive offensive players. They are high profile players. They draw more eyes on them to begin with, but both Carmelo and Westbrook got the shit end of lousy calls in the past few days.

JT:As bad as the Westbrook one was I think Carmelo's ejection was worse.

Greg: Will you please go through the tale of why Carmelo got ejected on an offensive play?

JT:  They were playing the Blazers. It was confusing to watch because Melo comes with a double clutch layup kind of like leaping, in and it goes in. It looked like he drew contact. He’s getting ready to take his free-throw shot, and they chose to give the play a review real quick. They were like yeah, we're gonna eject you instead. Here's a quote from the dumb zebra, “We deemed that the contact was excessive and not a natural basketball move whereas he is seeking out near catch that hitting him in the face with an elbow and then goes back to the basket and scores.” This seems like a lot of thinking in the air from this take, if you ask me. Jump off the ground, look around, bop this guy in the face with an elbow, then turn around and go back to playing basketball, all while your feet are off the ground.

Greg: It's possible, it just seems pretty calculated. He went from making a great basketball move to getting called.

JT: Loving it my man. Hit a great shot. A very Carmelo shot. That is a very characteristic shot for him to take. That's how he drives and takes laps. That's how a lot of players in the NBA go to the hole and make some off-balance shots with limbs flying.

Greg: The funny thing is when you raise your arms they're about the height of heads, and it's the damnedest thing, things the same height might occasionally hit into each other. He goes, makes a great move, gets the call with the n1, and 'm not gonna say mysteriously, they reviewed the play. They did go over and review it and they came back with a crazy explanation. Who wrote that? Who even said that and can take themselves seriously? He drove to the basket and took a shot, there was nothing more than that. I didn't see any bad intentions on those elbows. I didn't see any anything to that effect.

JT: That's just the wrong call. After the game they asked Melo if he wanted to say anything about it, and he said I don't have anything to say about that play. I think the league will do what's right. He’s taking the high road. Is that what Carmelo Anthony is known for?

Greg: Poor officiating there, and nobody likes that. The next night Russell Westbrook goes to one of his well known spots on the court. Russell Westbrook plays. He won

MVP last year, he's Russell Westbrook. For him to get called on this kind of offensive shot, where he stopped and was looking for contact? This was not a malicious intent of any sort. He went from getting what should have been a one and done,  to a flagrant one.

JT: That's absolutely insane. Come on guys. I thought on this play. They were playing the Kings. We're talking about bottom boy on offense Greg. Another Eastern European guy. Westbrook took a jump shot, and I thought they were gonna call him for kicking his feet out. It looked like he did maybe a little bit. Still not enough to be called in my opinion. They got him for a follow through. An unnatural follow-through. He smacked Boyd, son a bitch, in the face top to bottom style. Three Stooges style. He sold it. He flopped. This fucker, he played his part to get the reaction.

Greg: In the previous, story oddly enough, it was also a fellow Eastern European with  Bogdanovich.

JT: Here's the thing about Eastern Europeans, they're very tough. Arguably the  greatest heavyweight cage fighter of all time, Fedor Emelianenko, is Eastern European. He's

a legend. Another championship boxer, Yvonne Drago from Russia. He’s very much a champion. These guys are tough, they don't need to be flopping. They don't need to be doing this. They don't endear themselves to any of the other fans in the league by playing that way.

Greg: Eric Bledsoe whined and successfully got his trade. He was the one who famously went on Twitter and said, “I don't want to be here.” He said was talking about a hair salon and hilarity ensued. The Twitter pictures, the jokes, the everything. It was all fun and games, but he got his way. He's going to a better team. He's going to a team that's on the rise. They’ve got some great players to play with now, and I hate this. How do you feel?

JT:  It's rewarding bad behavior. He basically decided he didn't want to be there. He tweets I don't want to be here. The league find him $10,000 for that. Two weeks later he's traded and gone. Ten thousand dollars well spent. Ten thousand dollars! What does that mean? This definitely makes the Bucs a better team Greg. I don't know anything about Monroe, but they got a draft pick to the Suns.

Greg: I hope Bledsoe doesn't ruin what seems to be a pretty cool thing going on in in Milwaukee.

JT:  If it was three or four years ago I might have wanted Greg Monroe, but I can't imagine wanting him now. He's just taking the spot and probably some money for the trade. When Kyrie Irving successfully got traded that “we don't like this, and this is not this,” I don't think a lot of people like that. It's gross.

Greg: The NBA is lucky enough to have guaranteed contracts. The NFL would kill for guaranteed contracts. If they're gonna get all the money the NBA  should at least play all

the time, that's just fair. If they want to get traded or something that's business. Refusing to play is garbage. It is just not cool.

Something that you're very passionate about, the Utah Jazz got a spanking from the beard, James Harden. The other day he scored 56 points. It didn't look like he could miss. I know you intently watched him hit every shot. What do you think of that game?

JT: Things aren't great in Utah Gregg. The defense is okay, but it hasn't been phenomenal. Harden couldn't fucking miss. He had 22 points in the first quarter. He knew it was gonna be a long night after that.

Greg: You texted me when he had 22 in the first. I knew you weren't gonna have a good night I don't even know if I replied, I just knew it was gonna beone of those nights.

JT: He tried some different things, but he ended up with 56. The Jazz lost by a lot.

Greg: That's why Harden is consistent MVP candidate. He can put up big numbers like that.

JT: I don't care for his style of play either. I don't think that Chris Paul is going to make that much of a difference either. The first game they played together, it not only didn't look like it was working that night, but a lot of people said what is the real plan? It's gonna be great to have two good players.

JT: It never hurts, but it's too similar in the position. It's not gonna work, especially because Harden’s getting used to scoring all these points. He's playing exactly how he was playing last year. He's just continuing.

Greg: Is Chris Paul gonna hinder that at all?

JT: I know you don't agree, but I think Chris Paul is gonna be in a backup kind of position. They will let Harden either start, and play the point guard, or Chris Paul's gonna come off the bench

and lead a second. He's slowed down a little bit. He's smart enough to know if Harden can put up these kind of numbers, you don't want to interfere with that. You want to like see where you can complement him. That's gonna be when he needs a break.

Greg:  It doesn't seem like they need to help scoring points. They could use his other talents with the assists or going in for the rebound.

JT: Chris Paul, he's got respect. My man goes in for a guard rebound. Not really in there, but he's definitely going for it better than some guys.

Greg:  He's scrappy. JT what is with the Celtics? I am a Celtics hater. I don't like anything about Boston. I feel dirty that I even felt any sort of pity for Tom Brady when deflate gate was going on, because that was a sham. I hate Boston and that was a sham. I don't care for Boston at all, football, basketball, hockey-

JT: None of it?

Greg:  Well baseball, let's not forget baseball. The Red Sox, hate them, but they're playing pretty well. I am NOT a Kyrie Irving fan, especially how he got there. They had to trade away three starters from last year to get Kyrie Irving, and four other moves in the offseason. They also lost a guy they only had for a couple minutes. Pretty crazy that they are still playing this well. How great would they be if they had the great Gordon Hayward as well?

JT: Do they even need him? They won nine in a row. They look fantastic. Kyrie looks incredible. Do they need Hayward? They had to have him? It's not like he's gonna go anywhere, but they look really good. It looks like Boston made the right deal. Shipping out Isaiah Thomas, J Crowder, and Avery Bradley for Frick.

Greg: Brad Stevens is a good coach, which Kyrie has never had.

JT: You're always on his nuts. You say you hate Boston, but you're always on Steven’s nuts.

Greg:  Look at the guy. Who did he have last year for them to be playing as well as they have? Even the year before that they played pretty well. When you see that guy in the huddle, he gives a shit. There's a lot of the coaches like the Hornets coach. That guy's trying, and that's all I wanted, a little bit of effort. I also liked that guy when he was a college coach. He made it to the tournament one year. They played great when he was at Butler. He was just as big of a star as the kids were. He seemed like a good coach then, and it if the guy can get some little crap school into the tournament and get them very far in college, and he does very well with the professionals, then there's a common denominator there. It's him being a good coach.

JT:  You love him, and you love your man on the Sixers, JJ Reddick. They're both very handsome players Greg.

Greg: You couldn't get me to say a bad thing about JJ Redick. I don't really care how he looks.

JT: His hair's a little shorter this season. Do you like it better this way?

Greg: It doesn't really bother me one way or the other. I'm good on that. The Celtics play the Lakers tonight. If they win it'll be ten in a row.

JT: Kyrie Irving is gonna fucking smoke Lonzo Ball Greg. He's gonna smoke him dirty all night long.

Greg: He might. He doesn't play defense well though. Neither one of them are great on D. In

unrelated news, how could we even talk about Lonzo Ball without talking about his brother

shoplifting in China? Did you see this story?

JT: He has two little brothers. This is the youngest one right?

Greg: This is the one that's on UCLA. There's another one that's still in high school.

JT:  He and a couple other players from UCLA were on a trip to China, and they decided to steal some sunglasses. They were just released on bail. It's one thing to go somewhere and act up a

little bit but, you're gonna steal in a country like China? That that seems crazy. That seems like you think you're bigger than any problems, or any consequences. That's madness. To make it even worse their father came, and they're currently a reality show.

Greg: Of course.

JT: He's there with the camera crew for this whole thing.

Greg: The show is going to be called Ball in the family.

JT: This all turned into petty theft in China Gregg. For petty theft in China you get thrown in jail. I'm terrified of international prisons. I'm scared of jail in general, but the idea of being in jail or prison abroad is-

Greg: They had that show locked up abroad, remember?

JT: No, what's that?

Greg: People would tell their stories. Guys would go in Venezuelan prison, or there would be somebody who had been there on vacation, did something stupid like this, and ended up in prison. There's all different people with stories every week. There were horrible terrible stories of international prisons. It’s not like any prisons good, but I don't want to be in some Chinese prison, I'll tell you that right now.

JT: There was that movie from the mid-90s,Claire Dane's travelling abroad, and some dude slips drugs and herb in her carry-on bag Greg. Next thing you know she's in a fucking wooden cage in some Thai prison. No one can get her out. That shit's scary. I don't want that. Do you remember when we were in middle school, and  that guy got caned?

Greg: I believe it was in Singapore.

JT: He stuck gum or something somewhere, or threw it on the sidewalk or something. My fifth grade teacher made a point to tell us they moisten the cane so it can wrap around the body when they hit you with it. He was quite a fella. The strikes Gregg, they're administered by a martial arts expert. He also taught us-

Greg:  In fifth grade you learned that huh?

JT: Yeah, maybe too young for that. Maybe a colorful fella.

Greg: We'll leave it there.

JT: Dwight Howard Gregg, fined $25,000 for an obscene gesture. Do you know the gesture he gave? The old DX crotch chop.  I was pleased because it took me a minute to find what the gesture was. I had to do a little internet sleuthing.

Greg: I assumed it was the middle finger, but no, it's the old DX suck it. I was happy to see people are still putting that one out there. There's something retro actively wonderful about that. It takes you back to a better time when the crotch shop was prevalent, and wrestling was a bigger part of our lives.

JT: Sucks to have this guy on your team though Greg huh?

Greg: It does. It sucks a lot. If I'm opening for the days of X-Pac, who God rest his soul, right?  Didn't X-Pac leave us a couple years ago? Please look that up while I'm talking here. I think X-Pac left us. I believe something stupid happened. I believe it was like a backhoe accident or something. Something ridiculous. But yes, having Dwight Howard on my team, I can go off about the Hornets while you look that up. I am very unhappy with the Hornets at this point. I watched them lose a game the other night by just a couple points. It was a game they should have won. It was a game that was in their hands. The worst part is, now these teams have a Twitter presence. Any person on Twitter who feels like they need to be commenting or making observations of what's going on, that's not their job. They should just keep quiet. They may say

everything's going great, but we're watching the game,  I can see when it goes down to the

other end of the floor. Offense has no freaking clue what they plan on doing. There's no person that's gonna take command. People are jacking up threes. People are playing hero ball. Nobody is doing anything. We all saw the great video of Cody Zeller getting blocked four or five times by Porzingis last night when they played the Knicks. It's disgusting basketball right now. There's teams all over this league playing above their capabilities and beating teams they shouldn't beat. Even the Suns beat somebody the other night. They beat the Thunder. They beat the

Wizards. The Suns are a garbage team, and they are beating people. The Hornets are trash right now, and it makes me so mad to watch. The coach after the game says everything's fine. We're gonna tighten up on defense. Old coach Cliff gonna tell me everything's gonna be fine, just gotta tighten up on D? Knock off that trash right now. You're playing like trash! Nobody cares. There's no go-to guy. You're wasting a good rookie. People are laughing about Malik right now.

JT: He wasn't that good

Greg: He is pretty good, the horn isn’t using him very well. I'm getting tired of watching these games. They're not playing well. It's driving me nuts. I'm used to them sucking, but this seems

worse. I had a little bit of hope. I haven't even said a word about Dwight Howard. Dwight Howard is a walking disappointment. That guy has been okay for us, but he should be so much better, so I won't shit on him too hard. We have so many other problems.  He's just a small part, but damn it.

JT: Well said Greg, well said. I don't know if this is gonna brighten your spirits at all, but xpac lives Greg.

Greg: Why did I think he was dead?

JT: He was arrested earlier in the year for meth.

Greg: Okay, just dead inside.

JT: I won't go as far to say that, but a little trouble with the law. He is alive. Road Dogg was the d-o-double-g. Road Dogg, I almost thought they were the same person.

Greg: Not the same person, just the same kind of person. The DX kind of person.

JT: Don't forget about Mr. Ass too.

Greg: I don't want to go too deep here with the wrestlers, but we love Mr. Ass. We're gonna move on to predictions. What is the prediction for me this week JT?

JT: We are about one month into the season. Neither one of our beloved teams are doing particularly well. Is it too soon to call this season a bust and just fucking tank it Greg? Should we tank it?

Greg: It’s too early for us to tank. Do you feel like the Jazz are playing as bad? I haven't heard you complain that much about them.

JT: I’ve been keeping it quiet Greg. Some things don't feel good to talk about.

Greg: I should have asked. I feel like it's my fault that we haven't gotten to it sooner. There was an issue that I knew was there, and I was avoiding it.

JT:  Things aren't good. I think you're in the same boat but we play on. 

Greg: I just don't know what we would be tanking for. Do you feel like your organization drafts well enough that you would get a great player and turn next season around?

JT: I don't know if it's that that I worry about. other More so having an effect on our rookie Donovan Mitchell and and pissing off Rudy. He might be less inclined to stay after his contract expires. It's pretty hard to watch sometimes. We just can't fucking buy a bucket you know? Rudy's working. Rudy looks exhausted. He looks so tired because he's working so hard. You got favors shooting threes and Rudy's shooting jump shots a little bit. You see them looking for offense wherever they can find it. It's a little disheartening. 

Greg: I feel the same way. 

JT: It's not that I'm worried about the draft for them finishing low and getting the draft pick, it's the fact that it's tough to attract free agents when you're just not good and missing a couple pieces. We need almost a whole team. I'm just wondering if it is time just to get rid of everybody  and roll the dice as they are and then see what happens and start with new players next year and see what we can do.

Greg: Too early to say, but you know come on guys give us something to get excited about . Let's get some wins. 

We're gonna be back next week with another episode, and in the meantime you can follow us on twitter @doubledrivelers or you can email us at doubledrivelpodcast@gmail.com. Subscribe to the show on iTunes, podbean, or Google Play, and until next week we'll see you on the Internet.

[mchenryjd]

2017 in Review

Necessarily incomplete, mostly for my personal record. I will probably regret this.

MOVIES

10.  mother!

Got to a screening late, had to sit in the third show, could barely tell what was happening and spent most of the movie staring at J. Law’s flared nostrils. An ideal viewing experience.

9.     Personal Shopper

Nothing captures the purposeful emptiness of spending time online like Kristen Stewart texting a ghost.

8.     Get Out

I kept telling my dad this movie was funny to get him to see it, not realizing he didn’t already know it was a horror movie. Afterwards, he texted me, “that was not a comedy!” Feels like that’s enough a metaphor. Daniel Kaluuya for best actor.

7.     Star Wars: The Last Jedi

A Star Wars movie about loving Star Wars movies, which means loving the epic, silly struggle between good and epic, loving the spiral staircase that is John Williams’s force theme, loving it when character always do the coolest possible thing followed by the next coolest possible thing, loving dumb furry creatures and sarcastic slimy ones, loving it when characters kiss when you want them to kiss, loving the hundred-million-dollar sandbox of it all. After the constricted dance steps of The Force Awakens and Rogue One, give me this bleeding freestyle any day.

6.     Phantom Thread

Finally, proof that everyone in a serious relationship has lost it.

5.     Call Me By Your Name

I refuse to believe that being stuck in rural Italy would be anything other than deadly boring and if my father insisted on turning everything into a lecture on classical art, I would run away. Also, there’s a contrast between the book (vague on the details of place and time, vividly specific on matters of sex) and the film (more contextually specific, sexier, but less horny than the original). Also, who am I kidding, I was moved and unsettled by the force of the thing. *Michael Stuhlbarg voice* Pray you get a chance to fall in love like this.

4.     Dunkirk

Having your tense, churning, clanking, thrumming, score transform into Elgar right when the beautiful, imperiled young heroes are reading a stirring speech (and Tom Hardy is heroically sacrificing himself in what looks like the middle of a Turner painting) is a level of craft so deft if feels like cheating, but it works.

3.     BPM

A film about a community in danger that acts as both a memorial to and rallying cry for that community. Uncompromising, accommodating, queer in the best way, BPM makes you want to cry and go dancing at the same time.

2.     Columbus

The kind of movie that makes you want to get in a car and keep driving until you find something beautiful, it has stuck and expanded in my memory ever since I saw it over the summer. Like the architecture that looms large in the setting, the plot can feel uncomfortably schematic – John Cho wants to leave and gets  stuck, Haley Lu Richardson is stuck and gets to leave. The question is how people live within, and blur the edges of, those confines. John Cho has a winning, curdled decency; Haley Lu Richardson gives the hardest kind of performance, in that she often seems unaware of her character’s own wants. I’d watch her quietly assemble dinner for hours on end.

1.     Lady Bird  

A movie that feels less plotted and more prefigured – every fight between Lady Bird has happened before, every high school landmark lumbers by with inevitability, every boy disappoints in the way you expect. What redeems all this? Paying attention, which is also love, in this movie’s pseudo-religious sense. Between Lady Bird and Marion, between Lady Bird and Julie, between Lady Bird and Sacramento. Watch people closely, as Greta Gerwig does, and they reveal glimmers of themselves (I know so little, and yet everything, about Stephen McKinley Henderson’s drama teacher from a few moments that feel perfect, in the sense of contained, past-tense completeness). It’ll all so ordinary. Fall in love with it.

Honorable mentions: Regina Hall’s speech about friendship in Girls Trip, Sally Hawkins tracing a droplet with her finger in The Shape of Water, Meryl Streep on the phone in The Post, Cara Delevingne in Valerian, Rihanna in Valerian, the part where the ghost jumped off the building in A Ghost Story, the fact that Power Rangers was surprisingly good, the soldier who gasps as Diana whips out her hair in the trenches in Wonder Woman, Ansel Elgort’s jacket in Baby Driver, whenever anyone tried to explain anything in Alien: Covenant, Elisabeth Moss in The Square, Anh Seo-hyun feeding Okja in Okja, Lois Smith being in movies, the kids eating ice cream in The Florida Project, the Game of Thrones joke in Logan Lucky, Vella Lovell in The Big Sick, and finally, most preciously, the moment in Home Again where Reese Witherspoon kissed Michael Sheen and someone in my theater shouted “she’s not feeling it!”

TELEVISION

10.  The Good Doctor

Listen, he’s a good doctor.

9.     Riverdale

They’re hot. They’re angsty. They do drugs that look like Pixy-Stix. They never seem to do homework. They love to hook-up in weird locations. They have terrible taste in karaoke songs. They love hair dye, and a well-defined eyebrow. They have really hot parents. They’re TV teens! I love it.

8.     Insecure

This is just to say that I am far too invested in Molly’s happiness as a person. I would also like to view a full season of Due North.

7.     American Vandal

From Alex Trimboli to Christa Carlyle, the best names on TV are on this show. Also the best reenactments, and somehow the most incisive take on what fuels, and results from TV’s true-crime obsession. Jimmy Tatro mumbling!

6.     Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

More shows should take the opportunity to explode in their third seasons, rocket forward at full speed, diagnose their main characters, and give Josh Groban wonderful, unexplainable cameos.

5.     Alias Grace

A show that conjured a performance for the ages out of Sarah Gadon and somehow made Zachary Levi palatable as a dramatic actor, this miracle of collaboration between Mary Harron and Sarah Polley is all the better for being binged. Down it in an afternoon, think of Grace under her black veil, daring you to disbelieve her, for years to come.

4.     Twin Peaks: The Return

A show that drove nostalgia into itself like a knife to the chest. Totally absurd. The best revival/exorcism yet on TV.

3.     Please Like Me

“Sorry about your life.” “I’m sorry about your life.” In a time when things tend to peter out, what a final season, in which everything goes to shit and then some. Maybe TV’s most prickly comedy, Please Like Me’s heart is of the “stumble along and keep going” sort and never does it test itself as much as it did with this bleak, pastel final statement.

2.     The Leftovers

Do you believe Nora Durst’s story? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I think it sounds ridiculous. Sometimes I relax in the comfortable, academic premise that it only matters that Kevin does. It’s a haunting idea, though, this image of world even emptier than The Leftovers’s own, where it’s possible to wander for untold time in darkness. Carrie Coon’s description of it is a kind of journey to the underworld – we’re there with her, maybe, and then we make it back, maybe. The trick of The Leftovers is the wound’s never fully healed.

1.     Halt and Catch Fire

The world changes. People sorta don’t.

Honorable mentions: the twist in The Good Place, the Taylor Swift demon character in Neo Yokio, Claire Foy on The Crown, Vanessa Kirby on The Crown, the stand-up in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Cristin Milioti in Black Mirror, the televised Academy Awards ceremony, the weeks when Netflix didn’t release new TV shows I had to watch, Girls’s “American Bitch,” the fact that Adam Driver is both in Girls and Star Wars, Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys performances on The Americans (and life in Brooklyn), the moments in Game of Thrones that were good enough to make me stop thinking about what people would write about Game of Thrones, season 2 of The Magicians’s resistance to any sort of plot logic, Jane the Virgin’s narrator, Nicole Kidman at therapy on Big Little Lies, Reese Witherspoon’s production of Avenue Q in Big Little Lies, Alexis Bledel holding things in The Handmaid’s Tale, Maggie Gyllenhaal directing porn in The Deuce, Alison Brie’s terrible Russian accent in Glow, Maya Rudolph in Big Mouth, Cush Jumbo miming oral sex with a pen in court in The Good Fight, the calming experience of watching new episodes of Superstore and Great News on Fridays, Eden Sher in The Middle, the fake books they make up for Younger, and Rihanna livestreaming herself watching Bates Motel.

THEATER

10.  Indecent

History, identity, community all mangled together in something that’s both excavation and revivification. I’m so mad I didn’t get to see it with my mom.

9.     Mary Jane

A nightmare that goes from bad to worse, which Carrie Coon performed with the endurance of a saint.

8.     SpongeBob SquarePants

Highlights: The tap number, the Fiddler on the Roof joke, the many uses of pool noodles, David Zinn’s design in general, the arms, the volcano setpiece, the fact that somehow I kept laughing for two-and-a-half hours at something SpongeBob SquarePants. Tina Landau, you’re a hero.

7.     Hello, Dolly!

I had a wonderful viewing experience like this, in that I sat alone on an aisle next to an older gay man who turned to me right when the curtain came down on the first act and said, “man, we love Bette.” (Shout out to any and all gags involving the whale.)

6.     Groundhog Day

Proof you can dig deeper into the material you’re adapting and still find more. Sometimes, the funniest gags come out of old-fashioned repetition. Andy Karl has the Rolex-like ability to make it all speed by without revealing any of the ticks, and then wallop you in the second act.  

5.     The Glass Menagerie

A lot of unconventional ideas piled onto each other that go so far into strange territory that they loop back around to being immediate. Maybe distant to some, but enough to unsettle me. I can still smell the onstage rain.

4.     The Wolves

A sign of a good play is probably that you remain invested in the characters long after you see it, and I’m going to spend so much time worrying about all the girls on the soccer team in The Wolves for the rest of my life.

3.     The Band’s Visit

Katrina Lenk has a gorgeous voice. Tony Shalhoub is restrained to the point that he could move his baton with nanometer accuracy. The songs are transporting. But most of all, The Band’s Visit manages to capture loneliness better than nearly any musical I’ve seen. Everyone, audience included, experiences something together, and then it all, slowly, both lingers and drifts apart.

2.     A Doll’s House, Part 2

What, you think I wasn’t going to include a play with a Laurie Metcalf performance? ADHP2 is perhaps clever to a fault in its set-up, but in the right hands, it turns into something both funny and moving – a story about what it takes to become a complete person, in or outside the influence of other people. Nora’s monologue about living in silence near the end is the full of the kind of simple statements that are so hard to act, and so brilliant when done just right.

1.     The Antipodes

Both an extended meditation on what it means to run out of stories and a brutal subtweet of Los Angeles, The Antipodes is my kind of play, in that it’s mostly people talking, Josh Charles is involved and very disgruntled, and everyone eats a lot of take out.

Honorable mentions: the music in Sunday in the Park With George, the pies in Sweeney Todd, the ensemble of Come From Away, seeing Dave Malloy in The Great Comet of 1812, Alex Newell’s “Mama Will Provide” in Once on This Island, Cate Blanchet having fun in The Present, Imelda Staunton in the NTLive Follies, Michael Urie in Torch Song, Patti LuPone’s accent(s) in War Paint, Ashley Park in KPOP, and Gleb.