#took these during golden hour my ass hurts from this chair

[cowardlycowboys]

golden child

[forthehpfanboys]

Christmas Break

Pair: Draco Malfoy x Reader; he/him.

Summary: You liked Winter Break Draco. Unfortunately, he was replaced by Usual Dick Bag Draco who becomes ruthless. At least Harry is there to make you feel better.

Warnings: SMUT (MDI), jealousy sex, dirty talk, swearing, spanking, short mention of slapping and hair pulling, sir kink and degrading a tad- fluffy ending tho. I may have taken the kinks too far but ya know-

Notes: Requested by @the-offical-yn​, who I must apologize too. A lot of my stories got away from me so I’m very sorry this is late- but um- enjoy getting railed by Draco guys! Yo, I made a shit plot for this. I’m so sorry if it’s baaddd.

~DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE~

-

For years, he had this twisted mind against anyone not a pure-blood or a Slytherin. He had zero shame with cussing out Gryffindor's, spitting at Ravenclaw’s during quidditch games and tripping Hufflepuff's. But, suddenly, just before Christmas break, he changed and there was nothing blunt about it. He would help Ravenclaw first years pick up their books if they stumbled on the fake steps on the moving staircases, tutor third year Hufflepuff's in Herbology after hours and helped a few Gryffindor students fix their potions.

Draco changed faster than water turns to ice in a freezer. It was almost alarming. Even Snape seemed to be concerned, probably more than others. The greasy git kept yelling at Gryffindor's (mostly the Golden Trio [mostly Harry]) about what would happen when he found out who jinxed Malfoy. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he changed, but everyone else could. To the day, infact.

It was just a few days before October, when it started. Draco was strutting down the halls, using Crabbe and Goyle as shields from the dozens of students who walked by him. They stood at his sides, knocking students out of the way, acting like Draco owned this bubble of space as they walked, but somehow, you slipped through. You were crossing in front of him, trying to hurry to class and ended up tripping over your own feet.

Your instincts kicked in and you tried to catch yourself, but instead you fumbled right into Draco, landing heavily against his side. He scoffed, shoving you off and getting ready to cuss you out when you began to apologize (even if you don’t like him) and gather your things off the floor. With your head tilted down you didn’t notice the Slytherin staring at you like you were a puppy. When you gathered your things, you scurried off, apologizing to more students as you went by.

Apparently, that day, he saw you tutoring a whole table of students, all houses included, and you were being so nice to them, so kind and your voice was soft and he heard you say “Hey, no! It’s ok! There is no such thing as a dumb question, ask away”. He had this urge in his chest to just be different, to be someone you would want to be around and be a friend, maybe even be more. It made him feel sick.

It took about a week to get your attention, then a quick growing friendship blossomed. Your relationship with Draco changed- just like he had. It changed from funny jokes, sassy remarks and late night games of exploding snaps to flirting contests, long hugs and what could be considered dates. 

By December, you and Draco were dating without the official titles. Everyday, you two were growing closer and the relationship was growing more rock solid with every passing event. Soon enough, winter break was coming around and everyone was genuinely surprised when they saw the blonde Slytherin strutting through the halls during Christmas break. Usually, the pureblood went home to spend the holidays in a cabin in a warmer climate with his family.

And it was weird for everyone to see him not bragging and tripping students and spitting at kids. But for you? It was a blissful few weeks. Even the Golden Trio got a break. They were some of your closer friends, so Draco gave them a bigger break. The blonde even went as far as helping Harry during potions. It was terrifying.

Until Christmas break was passing and Draco went through another change, which was what you were going to confront him about. 

"Malfoy!" You found him out in the courtyard, a teary-eyed (y/h) first year trailing behind you. The poor kid was shaking with fear and let out a sniffle. "You have some very good explaining to do!"

The blonde looked from Goyle to you, his eyes slowly dragging down your form before darting back up to your flaming eyes. His smile had dropped and was now replaced with a sharp frown. His nose scrunched up, his eyebrows furrowed and his arms crisscrossed over his chest.

“I don’t have to explain anything to the likes of you.” He sneered. He looked over your shoulder and locked eyes with the first year, who scooted over to hide himself better.  He made a scoff and turned back to Goyle, shaking his head while snorting. “Look at this- he’s tryin’ to be a hero.” As if on a cue, his little posse of Slytherins broke out into laughter, forcing your face to heat up from humiliation.

“Seriously? Are you fucking five?” You called over the idiots laughter, which morphed into pathetic ‘ooh’s. “Draco, stop being a child and a douchebag and just apologize to the first year.”

“Why should I?” Draco stepped closer to you. His eyes, stance and voice all held a challenging undertone. He moved some blonde hair out of his face, but you didn’t miss how his eyes flicked down to your lips.

“Because you called him a mud-blood for bumping into you. Grow a pair, gain some manners and apologize to him.” You crossed your arms over your chest, putting on your best angry face. If Draco was pulling a prank, you were going to punch him, without hesitation. And how the hell did an asshole like this become a prefect??

“Oh, your right, I definitely should apologize when the kid bumped into me. But I think I have a better idea.” He brought a finger to his lips, tapping it in mock thought. Sarcasm and sass was radiating from him and it only served to piss you off more. “How about you fuck off and leave me alone, (L/n).” He smirked, turning to his posse and symboling them to leave with him for a dramatic exit. You took a deep breath, your hands balling at your sides. 

“I’m sorry for him.” You turned around and put a hand on the kids back and gave him a soft push back toward the castle. “Go tell the head of the house, ok? I’m gonna keep talking to him.” When he nodded and began to walk out of the courtyard, you hurried in the direction Draco left in. You found him heading across the bridge, in the middle of his group, who were effectively taking up the whole span of the bridge. His laughter echoed in the hollow build, which only had your blood boiling worse.

So, you called his name again, effectively getting his attention. He turned so fast you thought his head would’ve spun all the way around like an owl. You stared into his now burning eyes, walking closer to him. You could feel the adrenaline mixing with rage in your veins. You weren’t thinking straight, but you didn’t care. 

“Wanna explain why you're being an ass all of a sudden or are you just gonna insult me and strut off with your orgy party?” You glared at him, ignoring his irritated sneer. It was making your face red (or whatever hue, I wanna be as inclusive as possible) with anger.

“I don’t have to tell you a thing.” Draco was, naturally, turning defensive, even if he knew deep down how he was acting was wrong. Honestly, you couldn’t tell if he knew he was actually being an ass or not.

“Ok. I get it. You stay the fuck here with your friends and I’ll just leave you alone then. Merlin, why did I think you’d change?” Your face showed disappointment before contouring back to anger and frustration and aggression. You ran your tongue over your teeth, a frown etching across your lips. “My mistake.” You turned around, still going off pure adrenaline. You felt a hand grasp your wrist and immediately tugged it free with all of your strength. “No, I really don’t wanna hear it, fuck off.”

You didn’t look back, and you certainly didn’t hear him say anything. Of course it hurt, but you didn’t care at the moment. Your heart was thumping in your chest and all you felt was anger. He had the audacity to befriend you, say he really liked you for fucks sake, and then do a complete 180. You were grateful it was the weekend so you didn’t have to sit next to him in class.

You stomped through the snow, hurrying across the school grounds to the library (can you tell I have no idea what Hogwarts layout is?). You pushed open the doors and decided to basically hide yourself in an empty corner to try to cool down. After pulling the seat out, you sat down, slouching and resting your forehead on the table. You want to know what happened, why it happened

Was it his dad? Was it his friends? Was he jinxed or something? You let out a sigh of frustration. The idea of his dad convincing him to start treating people like trash again brought your anger back. You rolled your neck and ran your hands through it.

Pulling your wand out of your pocket, you waved it casually, summoning a book from one of the carts beside the isles. You didn't care what it was. You just wanted a distraction. 

Luckily, for you, it didn't take long to get distracted. A few pages and more than a few dreadful minutes into your "reading", someone sat across from you. You looked over the rim of the book to see a smiling Gryffindor with big, round glasses slipping down his nose. He gave an awkward greeting while pushing his glasses back up. 

"Hi to you too, Harry. This is a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?" You smiled, shutting the book and crossing your arms over it.

"Well, I just heard about the Draco fiasco that took place a few hours ago-" had it really been hours? "-and I wanted to make sure you were OK." Harry scooted closer to the table, his cheeks a soft pink.

"I'm fine, man. You don't gotta stress about me." You stretched your arms over your head while leaning back in your chair. You were trying to give the illusion of calmness and it was sorta working.

"Oh, good! I'm- I'm glad you're ok!" He began to fiddle with his fingers, digging at the nails nervously. "Because I also wanted to ask.. Um.. If you are free? Like this weekend? To hang out?" His green eyes barely met yours and, instead, opted for staring right over your shoulder. 

"Oh, I'm n-"

"He's not free, Potter. We have plans covering every minute of the weekend. Scram."

Your smile faded as Draco's voice filled the small corner. You looked up, immediately catching his stern gaze. He was leaning against the end of a bookshelf, his arms crossed and one foot crossed over the other. He was clearly chewing on his tongue, not that he'd admit it. You gave him a glare, your arms crossing over your chest. 

"But, Draco. I thought I canceled our plans." Your voice was condescending and it only fueled his anger. Harry, noting the weird tension, ducked out of there quickly, swerving around Draco and speed walking to a safer, less awkward part of the library. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" The blonde hissed while taking long steps over to the table. He was still staring you right in the eyes. Draco moved the chair Potter was sitting in and put his hands flat against the table. He made eye contact with him. 

"Why should it matter to you? I thought I was just being a selfish hero." You narrowed your eyes at him, daring him to make a move. You could feel the anger returning from earlier.

"I never said selfish. Why are you making this so complicated? I have a reputation to withhold, (Y/n)." His eyes softened a bit. He looked down at the polished wood before looking at you again. Draco tried to give you a smile, but you didn’t return it; you just tapped your fingers against the table top.

"I don't give a rats ass about your shitty reputation! You bully pre-teens and they actually fear you and you think that's a good thing? That's what you wanna leave behind when you graduate here?" Your face was turning a deep shade of (insert skin color please). He knew he fucked up, not that he’d admit it, and his soft eyes hardened again.

"Remember who's in charge in this relationship, boy." His hand snaked around the back of your neck, tugging you forward. Your nostrils flared as you released a sigh. Was he really pulling out the dominant card right now?

"I told you there was no relationship." you shoved his hand away, standing straight up and walking past him. You didn’t get far before he grabbed the hood of your robe and tugged you back. He guided you so your back collided roughly with the end of the book case he was leaning against.

“I know you can’t quit me like that, love.” The pure-blood spat out the pet name as his thumb and index finger roughly grabbed your chin and tugged your head up. “We both know I infected you like a virus- I know you're obsessed with me, sweetie.” A menacing grin spread across Draco’s pale lips when your jaw dropped open and your mouth fumbled to find words to combat him.

He moved his leg between yours, his hands moving from the scrunched fabric of your hood to your neck. He leaned in, planting a rough kiss to your lips while his other hand untucked your shirt. He pushed his hand under the shirt, rubbing the skin of your hip while he deepened the kiss. He managed to push his tongue past your lips and ran along yours.

Draco angled his leg to brush against your crotch causing you to jolt in the kiss. He pulled back, his tongue licking your teeth while pulling back. 

“Told you.” He purred out. The hand on your neck gives you a squeeze around the neck while his icy eyes go from your lips to your eyes. He could read you like a book. You hated it. “Don’t be a slut, darling. Let’s head to my room, yeah?” He didn’t move until you nodded your head slowly. “Good boy. Come on.”

The walk to the common room was long, but the hand around the back of your neck was sturdy. It didn't take long for him to have you pressed against the wall of his prefect bedroom, chest first, your pants basically vanished from your legs and his hand wrapped around your hard dick. 

“You’re such a whore, aren’t ya, baby boy, hmm?” Draco’s voice boomed in your ear as his fingers interlocked into your skelp. You couldn’t help but sob. The hand on your dick was going faster, but refused to slide over the swollen head. Your nails scraped down the wall pressed against your front and Draco pressed your cheek harder against the brick. “Been such a bad boy- using that dirty mouth to talk so poorly about me and to flirt with my anime. If you wanted a three-some you should’ve asked Zabini. But Potter? You know that’s a firm no, baby.”

He was tsking before biting down on the side of your neck, the grip he had around your cock only tightened to the point of painful. Tears of humiliation and pain gathered in your eyeline, threatening to boil over. Your legs subconsciously spread when he began to grind into the bulge of your ass, his hard dick prominent into your crack. He licked a strip up from the bite to your ear.

“You know very well what happens to slutty bad boys who flirt with sir’s enemy, right, baby?” He was growling in your ear again, his hand coming to a tight hold at your base. He let out a mocking laugh when your legs clamped shut and your hips tried to wiggle out of his grasp.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, Draco!” You squeaked out, voice a few octaves higher than usual. It made Draco happy to hear your pathetic pleas, but his joy was melting away due to you still squirming in his grasp. He shook his head, tsking again. He tugged your hair, yanking your head back and forcing you to bow against his body. He gave you a firm slap against the cheek before cupping your cheeks together and forcing your lips to pout, his hand still in your hair.

“You know that’s not my name right now, kitten. Use the right one.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” Your voice was weak compared to Draco’s, the obvious authority he had over you made you shiver. Abruptly, he pushed you against the wall, letting go of your hair and he was backing away from you. 

“Not yet your not, kitten. Finish stripping then get your arse over here.” Draco spoke, sitting down on the bed, patting the top of his thighs. He smirked when you did what he said, tossing your shirt off into the corner and approaching him slowly. He reached out to grab your arm and tug you over his lap. 

He used one hand to push your face into the mattress while the other ran over your right cheek. He loved watching your hips try to duck and avoid the cold silver of his rings. He let out a mocking laugh, his hands grabbing into your bum, nails digging into the skin to leave marks that had your back arching. 

"Aw, baby. Is it too cold for you?" He laughed louder, feeling you nod against his left hand tangled in your hair. "Aw, poor baby. Wait until you feel them bruise your skin. Now, do you remember what you say?"

"Yes, sir." your voice sounded strained--like you were mentally preparing yourself for the bite of the rings, the puncture of his smacks. You were, in all honesty. He never held back during punishments. 

"See? It isn't so hard to be a good boy after all, is it?" he patted your head before brushing your hair back. "Remember the safe system, darling? Good. Color?" 

"Green, sir." your legs were clenching together and wiggling, but a swat to the back of the sensitive skin of your thighs made you stop. "I'm sorry sir." 

"Good.. Now, how many does a horny little whore like you deserve, hmm? Ten? Fifteen?"

You knew what he was looking for. 

"T-Twenty." You swallowed. The anticipation and degrading was making your head cloudy. 

"Twenty? Well, you must've been really naughty, huh?" His hand ran to your lower back, caressing the skin before dragging his nails back down, leaving a trail of red marks down your skin.

You nodded your head quickly, biting your lip to conceal a moan. You could feel the pre-cum going down your hard dick, which was pressing into Draco's thigh.

"No response? Maybe we should add another ten then, since you wanna be so bad." 

"I-I'm sorry, sir! Twenty is what I deserve." You said quickly, trying to turn back and give him the huge innocent eyes he always went weak for. 

"No. Thirty seems far more fitting." He chose now to start the punishment with a raised hand and a harsh slap over the perfect curve of your ass. He watched the skin bounce and groaned, gripping the flesh again.

"One! Thank you sir." You squeaked out, back arching at the familiar sting of the hit. The cold silver of his rings colliding with your skin caused your toes to curl. 

"Atta boy." he purred out, repeating the action on the other side.

“Two, thank you sir!”

By the tenth spank, tears were falling freely down your cheeks. By the fifteenth, your voice was breaking with each shout. By the twentieth, you were trying to crawl away. By the twenty-fifth, you were kicking your legs like a brat. Somehow you managed to count to thirty without losing track. 

"You did so good, baby. Even if you were being a brat." Draco chuckled, running his fingers through your hair. His other hand rubbed your cheeks, trying to sooth the deep red (or whatever tint shows up with your skin, I wanna be as inclusive as possible) marks on your skin.

You let out another sniffle, propping yourself up on an elbow and wiping the tears off your cheeks. His hand ran up your sweat thighs, his palms rubbing the already sore skin of your ass once he got to it.

“Color?”

“Green, sir.” You turned your head to look at him. Your legs shifted, creating a shattering hyper awareness of how hard and how wet your cock was against his thigh. You caught his dirty smirk before he flipped you over. Suddenly, it was stoic and he was tugging your lower half back onto his lap. This time, Draco was sitting back on his calves, and he was steadily putting your legs around his waist.

“Good. Now,” he paused to lick his lips, “I’m going to fuck the brat out of you, got it?” His hands moved down your thighs before moving up to your pelvic bone. While you were responding with a polite, but breathless ‘yessir’, his hand was lazily wrapping around your cock.

He was still fully dressed, and the smooth fabric of his uniform pants rubbed against the sore spots on your ass. Your hips moved upward, trying to get more of his moving hand and less of the fabric against your bottom. You let out a breathy moan while his thumb idly swiped across the swollen head of your dick.

“That’s it.” He mumbled to himself over the sound of his zipper dropping. He mumbled a preparing, lubrication and cleaning spell, his hand still working you slowly. The blonde stuck his tongue out in concentration while pushing his own cock into your lubed ass. Draco let out a hum, his teeth clamping down onto his tongue. “Fuck yes. Such a good boy- my good little slut.” He let go of your dick and clamped his hands onto your waist and used the leverage to pull you down onto his cock.

You clamped a hand over your mouth, trying to muffle the cry as he stuffed his cock into you. You felt the wind knocked out of you. You gripped the sheets, whining pathetically. The head of his dick nudged against your sweet spot while he sat there, waiting patiently for you to adjust. It had been a bit of time since the last time you guys had fun sexy time. Your dick was literally throbbing, occasionally twitching, at the idea of him literally fucking you stupid. Your eyes were staring at the top of his four post bed, lost in your own thoughts when he began to move.

He tested the waters with the quick thrust, which yanked a moan from you. When you finally looked at him, you realized he was watching you intently, a menacing grin spread across his face.

“How’s your arse?” Draco asked, his voice condescending and cocky as he gave another thrust. His hand snaked around to your sore ass cheeks and gave one a tough squeeze, his nails digging in.

A cry left your lips, this time pain filled instead of pleasure. You planted your feet flat on the bed and tried to wiggle away from his grasp, which only made it worse.

“Sore, you dick!” You reached around, grabbing his wrist and trying to pull his hand away. “Ow! Let go, Draco!” You dug your nails into his wrist, trying to show him a small level of the pain he was causing but he just laughed, mocking your voice.

“Owie, it hurts! Take it, babe. You can do it.” He let go, his hands coming to hold your hips again before moving you at a punishingly rough pace. His muscular thighs rubbed against your ass, not that he cared. The pain was somehow starting to make the pleasure stronger. Soon it was filling your veins and fogging your brain.

Draco relished every moan, every gasp, every little sound you made. He listened to you whine out his name and it only fueled him more. He watched the sweat bead across your forehead and felt proud of himself.

“Atta boy. Gonna cum soon? Gonna cum completely untouched, like a whore? Hmm?” He purred out, leaning down to leave hickies across your neck and scratches down your chest. Your back arched pathetically off the bed while a woeful affirmative left your lips- but it wasn’t good enough for him.

“Say it.” He snarled, his voice too close to your ear to be that loud.

“G’nna cum, please.” You didn’t know what you were begging for, but your arms wrapped around his neck and pulling him closer. He shifted so he could rail you into the mattress and fulfill his promise.

“Please what? How can I help you if I don’t know what you want? What do you need, kitten?” 

It was like he used the imperius curse on you. You bent to fit his mold and he couldn’t have asked for more.

“Please, sir. Please let me cum, please.” You whimpered, your toes curling in the air. Your ankles locked behind his waist and dug into him, effectively pulling him closer. His palm glided up your chest again and he gave you a smile.

“Course you can, love. Whenever you're good to go.” Draco didn’t ease up his hips, but his voice was softer and after a few thrusts hitting your prostate and a brush of his stomach against your weeping cock had you cumming. Your head tossed back and you didn’t bother to muffle the cry of his name.

It didn’t take much to follow you for Draco, it never did. He always thought one of the most beautiful expressions you could make was while you were cumming on his bed. That, and when he gave you candy and you smiled at him. He kissed every bruise he left on your skin before landing on your lips and laid next to you.

He pulled a sheet over the two of you- the room had gotten hot but he knew both of you were too tired to get cleaned and shower. He pulled you to his chest, kissing your temple.

“You did so good, baby. I love you.” He rested his chin against the top of your head, completely delving you in his shirt covered chest. He rubbed a hand down your back. Your boyfriend didn’t care about sweat. 

“I love you too, Draco.” Your voice was rough and raspy. You planted a kiss to his cheek and nuzzled deeper into him somehow. “I miss you. The nice you- not the mean Slytherin you. He can suck my dick.”

“I know, I know. I’ll work on it. I promise.” Draco spoke between laughs. He hesitated, his mind bouncing between two questions he wanted to ask at once. “Do you want me to get you a bottle of water and we go take a bubble bath?” His voice was soft, but a massive grin spread across his lips when you nodded.

“Can we take a nap first?” You looked up at him with those big innocent eyes and gave him that smile he loved.

“Of course, dove.”

[allthingsarmin]

fckboy armin? + degredation is always a good combination <3

I was so excited to write this dose of Armin brainrot, omg 😩

If it’s alright with you, anon, I did this request in more of a headcanon format, but the ending is more of a fanfiction format. I’m also sorry I took so long to write this omg.

MINORS DNI!

Fem!Reader, FemBodied!Reader

TW: Mentions of NSFW topics + degradation, mean!armin, manipulation, fuckboy topics

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin whose style resembles that of the horny, manipulative, ghost-y men on campus yet is just too hot for you to handle. The way he wears dark silver rings on his left thumb, middle, and pointer fingers that accentuate his slender, pale fingers and clean-cut nails. The way the small, dark tattoos on his knuckles, right forearm, and collarbone add an aura of mystery and aggression to his being that just exudes sex. The way he wears a gold chain necklace with distressed jeans and a plain t-shirt that’s just a little too tight and shows off his pecks. Or the way he wears long black joggers and an oversized long-sleeve black shirt that makes him look taller. The way he doesn’t wear his mask correctly, always hanging on one of his ears which compliment his stud earrings and devilish smirk. The way he is broke because he’s always spending money on the newest, trendy shoes. The way he always uses way too much cologne… One look at him, and you can sense his ‘asshole attitude,’ but you can’t deny it makes your lower regions pulsate.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who’s body is so perfectly sculpted and toned that it leaves you thinking dirty thoughts in class. The way he sits in class with his sleeves rolled up, laying back relaxed in the chair, right leg bouncing out of boredom as his hard cock becomes noticeable in his grey sweatpants makes you want to run to your dorm and touch yourself. The way his abs call out to you to graze your fingertips against them when he lifts his shirt up to wipe away the sweat after walking home from the gym. The way his beautifully slender fingers hold his phone or push his hair back when he’s frustrated makes you think about how good they would feel inside you. The way his accentuated collarbone peaks through his thin t-shirts, allowing you to see the hickeys and imprints of love bites from god knows how many women makes you jealous. The way his skin is so pale and so soft that his blonde leg hair becomes barely noticeable. The way his golden hair brings out a plethora of the shades of blue in his eyes, and oh how his haircut suits him perfectly, shaping his jawline very well. How his beautiful blue eyes dangerously lure you into him, the soft but manipulative stares he gives you. How he can’t seem to maintain eye contact with you for more than three seconds because he looks at your breasts. The sinister yet sexy smiles he has plastered upon his face when talking with his friends about ‘some other whore’ he fucked the other day… Armin is attractive, and he knows he is attractive. Though you hate how arrogant his looks have made him, his suggestive stares and lip bites from such a handsome man make your heart flutter and mind only focused on one thing.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who is always posting thirst traps on instagram. You know… The pictures with the squinted eyes and the bitten lower bottom lip, either showing off his money or new shoes, pictures beside a nice car, suggestive pictures with the new girls he’s been fucking recently, biting his chain necklaces because he thinks it’s sexy. Only follows ‘successful’ men and offensive meme accounts but mostly follows half-naked women and supermodels. Leaves nasty comments on ugly womens’ pictures, calling them whores while he’s in hot girls’ DMs sending unsolicited dick pics and asking for nudes. Has thousands of followers, mostly from the party girls and rude men who go to his college. Won’t let you tag him in a photo unless he ‘looks hot.’

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who takes slutty gym pictures with his shirt off, abs out, shorts low enough to see his V line, hands in his hair, and a wink. Sends it to every girl in his snapchat contacts and posts it on his story with the ‘slide up’ text.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who hits you with the “you up?” at 2am on snapchat after ghosting you for two months. Tells you how much he misses your lewd moans and sloppy cunt, and then after pressuring you to give him nudes, he saves them and then doesn’t talk to you for at least a week.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who is so intelligent and dangerously manipulative. Who is so smart that he doesn’t need or want to pay attention in class, who convinces you to let him keep the nudes you sent him on snapchat, who reels you right back in when you try to move on from him.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who was nice to you at first, befriending you when you looked so alone, shy, and innocent, who only chose you because you looked so easy to take advantage of when he finally closes in on you.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who says he doesn’t want ‘any of that relationship stuff’ because all of his exes were crazy and that he only wants to date hot chicks.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who only texts you at ungodly hours during the weekdays and plays games like ‘20 questions’ with you so he can ask you if you’re either a virgin or a whore, if you like oral, if you’ve thought about him in dirty ways before… or truth or dare, asking you if you if you want to be his slut or daring you to send him lewd pictures of yourself.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who takes every chance he can get to turn anything sexual: the way your skirt is just a little too short that makes him suddenly grab your upper thighs, the way you innocently lick your ice cream cone on a hot summer day - he tells you to put your tongue on his cock instead, how you put your hair up in a high ponytail just makes him want to pull on it and kiss the crook of your neck… it all leaves him clouded with dirty thoughts.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who calls you ‘babe’ and refers to you as his ‘girl’ even though he has a million bitches on the side.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who makes you feel like shit about yourself because he’s constantly sending you womens’ profiles on Instagram, saying you should look more like them and ‘get a nicer ass.’

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who becomes more controlling as your sexual relationship continues, basically forcing you to let him check your phone in case you're messaging other dudes and being naughty for men besides him but gets defensive when you want to see his phone.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who refuses to eat you out but expects you to praise his cock with your slutty mouth and wet tongue.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who doesn’t really care about your personal problems or pain, and whenever you tell him you’re hurting on the inside, he offers to let you come over to his house so that he can fuck you: “once my cock is inside you again, you’ll forget all about your sadness.”

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who doesn’t use condoms because he ‘can’t feel anything’ when he wears them, so he just assumes that you’re on birth control when he cums inside you.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who violates your privacy when he’s online gaming with his closest friends, Eren and Jean, as he tells them through the microphone about how tight and wet your pussy is and how much you enjoy being treated like a slut, your mouth full of his cock and pussy dripping with his cum… going as far as sending secretive videos he took of you to them where you’re whimpering and begging for Armin’s cock.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who pressures you to do risky things you don’t want to do, but you just can’t find the courage to say no to him when he stares at you with his intense blue eyes… like when he asks you to sit next to him in the back of the class then without your approval, sneaks his slender fingers into your panties and starts harshly playing with your clit. He devilishly smirks as you try to suppress your cries of disapproval. Or like when he convinces you to let him take videos of you when you’re in a position that exposes your slick cunt to him so well. Or even how he manipulates you into trying something new that you’ve never been comfortable with, like swallowing his thick cum, letting him put you in a full-nelson, maybe letting him choke you while he spits in your mouth.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who finally closes in on you, begging you to help him study for the upcoming test since he wasn’t paying attention in class because ‘you’re just so distracting’ to him, acting so smart and innocent and respectably in front of the teacher when Armin really knows that your slutty outfits and wet pussy says otherwise… so you excitedly go over to his dorm, thankful that finally it will be a normal get-together where you could actually find out more about Armin instead of finding out more about how he likes his cock sucked. Upon entering his dorm, it is apparent that he never planned on studying with you as his textbooks are nowhere to be found, and he is sitting on the couch half-naked with Netflix on the TV.

ᵔᴥᵔ “Oh hey, y/n, didn’t expect to see you here so soon,” he says nonchalantly. You unknowingly stare at his broad shoulders, his strong chest, and of course his V-line that is not hard to miss as he carelessly talks shit about his teachers. “See something you like?” arrogance seething from his teeth as he brushes back his blond hair. You don’t say anything as your face grows red. He takes your hand and leads you to the couch. “Come on, let’s watch something.”

ᵔᴥᵔ The sound of skin slapping drowns out the voices on the TV. You don’t even know how Armin managed to get you into this position again where you’re so submissive under him, giving into him yet again. He flips you over on your back, and he props himself up, looking over your figure that’s so pathetically displayed below him. You can see his angelic hair stick to his forehead as the sweat drips down his soft but sharp cheeks. The look in his eyes has gone dark, and his smile is sinister as if he was a predator about to devour a prey. He wickedly laughs as you grind your needy cunt against his hard cock. This is where he really gets mean.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin loves to degrade you like the whore you are, constantly reminding you just how easy you are to take advantage of, how easy you are to win over with just some dick, how easy it is to make your sloppy cunt squirt and tingle from multiple orgasms, how easy it is to make you whimper and beg for his thick cock to make a complete mess of your pussy.

ᵔᴥᵔ “You really didn’t think I invited you over just to study, did you?” he snickers as he cruelly and slowly thrusts into your aching cunt, making eye contact with you and grinning as your face turns red. He grabs your throat, choking you, and begins to thrust faster which pulls shaky moans from under your breath. He inches close to your ear and whispers, “you even came over here without wearing underwear under that short skirt of yours…” he switches to the other ear, “and when I started touching your dirty cunt during the movie, you were already so wet,” you shiver at his words. He pulls back and gives you a gentle slap with his left hand, his rings stinging your face, and uses his right hand to twist your perky nipples. He begins to laugh, “but I’m not surprised that a filthy slut like you - my filthy slut - would think of such impure thoughts during something as innocent as watching a movie.” Armin leans closer to your face again, still thrusting into you at a quick pace. His warm breath raises goosebumps on your skin. He harshly grabs your mouth and tells you to open, which you submissively comply with, and he spits into your mouth which causes you to whimper. He smacks the side of your thigh. “You like being treated like some depraved slut don’t you?” You don’t reply, but the fluttering in your tight pussy says otherwise. He flips you onto your stomach, your breasts mushing into the couch, and without warning, he forces his girthy cock into your tight pussy. He is thrusting into you at an ungodly pace, making you scream and moan incoherent words. “What’s my little slut saying? Use your words, baby,” he teases. At this point, you can only call out his name. “A-armin…” He begins to torturously thrust into that one spot, and within seconds, you're bucking your hips, intensely squirting onto his couch and leaving a sopping wet dark spot. “Fucking whore, gonna have to buy a new couch because you can’t control your filthy cunt,” he growls into your ear. He quickly flips you over onto your back again, wanting to see your face. Your face is contorted with such pleasure; your eyes are rolled to the back of your head, and your mouth is wide open with drool dripping down your jaw. Armin shudders, his cock getting even harder in your tight pussy. “So hot… such a lewd slut.” He immediately brings out his phone, taking a picture. “Want me to show my friends what a cock-hungry whore you are?” You quickly nod. “So fucking pathetic,” he snarls. “I’m going to destroy your cunt, slut.” He shoves his warm tongue in your mouth, gently grabbing the hair on your foggy head. “I’m gonna break you in so bad,” he mumbles, wiping the tears from your face.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who maybe in fact does want to have that ‘relationship shit’ with you ~

__________________________

Requests are open, and feedback is appreciated <3

[alreadyblondenow]

This is how you broke Jeno’s heart

Lee Jeno x reader //ANGST, smut, fluff?

Themes: college! au, strangers to friends???, popular Jeno, normal student reader, sad ending

Word count: 5k

Summary: He was your lover, and now he’s your professor. Lee Jeno is Valentines day, 2017. Lee Jeno is afternoon golden hour drive, windows open as you let the wind gush into your face. Lee Jeno is burgers during movies on theaters. Lee Jeno is the holy grail and you broke his heart. 

Warnings: mentions of other idols, pairing of other idols, swearing, car sex, protected sex,  rough sex, slight cheating, sad ending

A/N: I did this in one sitting so I understand if this is not loved. but anyway, this is inspired from true events. And fuck, I was actually getting teary eyed while writing this because I recently found out he’s going to be married so yeah. Enjoy reading another sad story about my love life! Oh I picked Jeno because he looked like Jeno :( 

SENIOR YEAR

Three terms before graduating college, finally. Today is the first day of senior year and you’re late for your 7:30am class because of your best friend who doesn’t care about punctuality plus the elevator is taking too long and you’re worried because it’s a class you don’t want to miss because it’s hard to pass. Or so you’ve heard.

“Gosh, first day and were late?” you whine as your best friend hands you a medium sized coffee as a sorry for being late and as thank you for waiting for her.

“Since when did we ever went to class on time? And look at us now, graduating in a few months with good ass portfolio’s” she took a sip from her coffee as you both walk towards the classroom, “I wonder who the professor is” she added but the moment you guys arrived the classroom there were no professor, just waiting students freezing under the high temperature air conditioning of the school.

You removed your jacket and prepared your things on the desk, checking through twitter while you wait for the professor to come and boom.  

“Good morning class, sorry I was late but no worries. If you come in late next time, I won’t care just to be fair. Please sign this attendance sheet, pass it around as I prepare for class”

You don’t know if he saw you but you’re sure he’s someone you know and you’re hands are shaking not because of the coffee, but because of the man right in front of the whole class.  Your best friend nudge you shoulder, clearly you’re thinking about the same thing. “Are you seeing this?” she whispered beside you, pretending to fix her jacket behind her chair.

“Fuck. I thought It’s just someone who has the same features as him”

Lee Jeno.

Lee Jeno is Valentines day, 2017. Lee Jeno is afternoon golden hour drive, windows open as you let the wind gush into your face. Lee Jeno is burgers during movies on theaters. Lee Jeno is the holy grail and you broke his heart.

Flashbacks kept on coming the whole class hour and it was so hard to concentrate and listen to him while he teaches. His eyes looked at you but you don’t know if he recognise the girl who broke his heart. Maybe the school offered him a job? Or this is a part time job? Dropping the subject was your last chance and only idea to avoid him but doing that can make you not graduate on time. Fuck, you whispered to yourself.

After the class, you hurry on putting your things to your bag but not quick enough to avoid Jeno’s presence. Your best friend left you on purpose because she knew Jeno will not let this opportunity pass and as someone who knew about your history, you two need to talk. Standing beside you with his hands inside his pocket, looking at you as you hurry out the room. “No ‘hi’ or ‘hello’” his face is as handsome as ever. There’s not a day goes by that you don’t regret hurting this amazing guy.

“See you on Thursday, Sir Lee” you smiled like an innocent student and left him on the empty classroom.

FRESHMAN YEAR

Your first year in college is about adapting, adjusting with the surroundings, finding yourself or finding a certain classroom for hours and hours because the school campus is still not familiar to you. College is so different to high school especially when it comes to lunch breaks. Your lunch break is two hour long before a 5 hour brain challenging class. Good thing you have your best friend who knows how to kill time in a fun way.

“I bet your life will change in two minutes, when Lee Jeno finally enter through that door”

“Lee who?” obviously you’ve never heard about that handsome senior your best friend is talking about.

“Jeno” unlike you, your best friend knew every popular student from the higher batch. “There he is. He’s fucking handsome, I can’t believe him”

At first you didn’t want to look back, you just want your best friend to enjoy her eye candy of a crush. The way her eyes turned to heart eyes is amusing alone and you’re satisfied with that. But you are curious. So you figured, why the hell not?

Jeno was sitting with his friends the moment you turned your head towards him. He was smiling and laughing at his friends while he sits so handsome holding his phone. You didn’t notice that you were looking hard and that your best friend is the one making fun of you this time. It’s true what she just said, Lee Jeno will change your life.

“So how popular are we talking about?” you turned your head towards your best friend with a big smile.

“Popular. Girls write love letters to him and put it inside his locker and guess what, those girls knew the combination of his lock. That means girls are crazy for him, literally. Not to mention he’s smart and friends with the other cuties in the campus. Oh! He has a car, and the greatest mystery of all time…” she leaned closer to you, “Jeno and his ex, are not in good terms. And after they broke up before their freshman year ended, he never went out with someone again, he stayed single until now”

“Wasting his good looks and handsome body, and for what? For the right one? Tsk. He’s handsome but stupid” but that doesn’t changed the fact that you actually like him.

Your first year in college turned around, up side down because of Lee Jeno. You fell for him. Hard. But even though you have great feelings for the man, you kept it to yourself. Theres no way you will leave love letters in his locker before he graduates, you’re satisfied that you get to see him during your long hour lunch break and watch him smile everyday.

And as life goes on and Freshman year is almost over, that means Jeno will soon graduate and it’s time to let go of your silly crush and find another one in school. You’re not stupid to cry over a guy you’ve never even had a conversation with, but you’re sad enough that you got teary eyed when you found Jeno’s usual seat in the cafeteria being taken by some random student.

It was the start of Sophomore year and you have different schedules with your best friend. That leaves you alone during your two hour long lunch break. No Jeno. No best friend. Just you and the school’s yummy pasta, alone in table in the middle of the cafeteria full of young bloods.

“Is this seat taken? Sorry everywhere else is full”

Your mouth was full of pasta and you can’t talk or lift your head to see who it is so to avoid humiliating yourself, you signalled, ‘it’s okay. Sure take the seat.’ When you finally chewed and swallowed your food, you almost choke yourself with your own spit because it’s Lee Jeno. Eating the same pasta as yours, in front of you.

“I usually sit with my friends during lunch breaks, but they’re all gone now. Graduated already. Hi, I’m Jeno by the way” he offered his hand for you to shake and smiled handsomely.

“Uh, y/n” you gladly accepted the handshake, but you manage to keep your calm and don’t freak him out. The last thing you want to happen is Lee Jeno thinking that you’re weird. “Aren’t you a Senior? I mean, you’re kind of popular, so I know”

“Yeah. But not everyone knows I have failed a few subjects so, that’s our secret” he held a ‘shh’ gesture and continue eating.

Who would’ve thought that him failing his subjects will draw him straight to your life. It’s not right to be happy that he didn’t get to graduate on time, but you’re glad it happened.

During your time eating with each other face to face, you talked about how silly the school is for giving their students hours and hours of lunch breaks only to torture them with a five hour class afterwards. He asked about your stay here in this college and why did you pick fine arts, you did the same. It was a talk that you never imagined having with Jeno and you’re having a great time. Until those two hours are finally done and you both have to go to your respective classes.

If Cinderella had her time with her prince at the ball, you had your time with your prince in the middle of the cafeteria during lunch. Just like Cinderella, you don’t know if this kind of moment will happen again in your life. It’s not as if you can just leave your shoe and let him find you again, you just left with a smile, thanked him for his time and he thanked you for the seat.

You didn’t know, but Jeno was actually sad and having a hard time. He was having a bad day and he misses his friends, cursing this popularity that he never asked. Now everyone in school will judge him for being a late graduate. On top of that, he’s not used to eating alone and he was pretty worried until he saw you with a vacant seat. He didn’t expect to enjoy your company but boy is he glad he met you today. It’s like meeting you brightened up his mood, now he has something to look forward to during lunch breaks.

On the next day, you don’t want to keep waiting and expect the same thing that happened yesterday happen again today. So you distracted yourself with a movie. And while you’re in deep concentration with the movie while you’re eating your cookies, you saw a hand get a piece and you put on an angry face because who dared doing such a rude-

“Oh Jeno…” you were like a statue when he placed his bag on the chair and brought out some books to work on something, his homework maybe?

“Sorry for the cookie, I’ll buy you another pack after we finish this and after I do this stupid homework” he turned to his books while eating the cookie on his hand.

We. The word made you smile and nod at him, not wanting to disturb him while he studies. You figured maybe comparing yourself with Cinderella was wrong because your prince didn’t need a shoe for him to come find you.

After that second interaction with Jeno… A third happened, fourth, fifth, and so on and so forth. He depended on your great company to save him from his own sadness and heavy thoughts because being an irregular student makes him lonely and whenever he remembers not graduating with his friends makes him sad plenty.

You two spend lunch breaks together everyday and talk about everything and anything under the sun, talking about each other’s interests, laughing loudly at each other’s jokes like you’ve been friends for years and years already. In other words, you and your college crush became good friends. Maybe if you’re not destined to be lovers, you two are bound to be good college friends.

“Hey do you want to go for a drive?” the question made your heart beat fast because it’s a drive with Jeno were talking about here. You do have one last class for the day but, no one will die if you miss it just this once.

“Sure” you smiled wildly to his offer and you two made your way to the school’s parking lot.

The drive was something you will never forget because you’re with Jeno. Simple as that. The sun hits his face perfectly while his eyes are fixed on the road and you feel the wind slapping your face because he’s driving a little too fast to make it exciting and fun. He went to a drive thru and bought burgers for the two of you and eat it inside the car in the middle of an empty parking lot somewhere.

To Jeno, that drive was the proof that he’s falling for you hard. But it’s also a proof that he’s scared of loosing you once you knew about his hidden feelings. He shrugged it off and focused to the way you ate your hamburger that makes him smile but when you ask for his hamburger because you’re still hungry, it makes him happy.  

That drive sparked something between you two. It’s obvious that he likes you and you’re not stupid to not see it, he’s just not saying it yet because maybe he’s waiting for the perfect time or assurance. No one knows.

As for you feelings, let’s just say you don’t know what you want. You’re still convinced that Jeno is destined to be a great friend and not as someone who’m you can love. But since he’s been your crush, your heart still beats for him.

“Did you know that a lot of girls are crazy about you? And that they can open your locker?”

Jeno let out a loud laugh that echoes inside his car, “I know about the locker, but that locker is not just mine. It’s Haechan’s, Mark’s and Renjun’s and mine. So every time theres a letter we don’t know how to feel about it”

“Oh my, good thing I never sent you one” you laughed to yourself too.

“So you’re one of those girls? You crazy about me too?” heat creeps around your body and suddenly you avoid his eyes, “You are…” he pretends to be shocked.

“Calm down, I used to be like those girls. Okay, you can stop teasing me” you shook your head on disbelief because this is not how you imagined telling Jeno that you used to have a crush on him.

“I think you’re cute and I’m not embarrassed to tell you that so you shouldn’t be embarrassed on admitting that you used to have a crush on me” to Jeno, that’s only half true. Because he doesn’t only think that you’re cute, he thinks you’re also beautiful and he likes you. Very much.

Since the day you two became incredibly close, you realised that you’re not romantically meant to be together. But you can see him fall for you each day that passes and you hate the timing of your lives even more each day for doing this to you and Jeno. It’s like fate was playing with your feelings.

As days go by, you notice Jeno is acting a little weird towards you. Little did you know, after that drive he confirmed to himself that he likes you and not just as friend. And because of that, he’s taking baby steps on turning your friendship into something more romantic.

Come Valentines day, you didn’t expect something special to happen this day because you’re single and no one in school is interested in you. But you’re wrong. Lee Jeno has something up his sleeve and he caught off guard. For the first time in your life someone gave you a Valentine card, a box of expensive chocolates, and a red rose. All that Valentines shit couples give out during this day.

And it made you crazy happy that Jeno actually thought he has a chance with you.  

“Wow. From Lee Jeno”  you read his Valentine card and blush like crazy in front of him at the school cafeteria. It did made you happy, for some time. For a moment you forgot that Jeno is a god, who gave you Valentine goodies in front of a lot of students who knew him. And that’s how people in school knew about you and Jeno. Rumours spread like wild fire, you started getting hate message all over social media from those crazy girls. Everyone thought you’re just that Sophomore friend of Jeno and they didn’t expect that Jeno will like you.

‘Find someone prettier’

‘Her vs. your ex… definitely your ex’

‘You deserve someone better’

All those hurtful words got the best of you and it made you small. But even though you got hurt, you figured they’re just jealous of you and you won’t let them ruin your friendship with Jeno.  

Given the fact that he’s being confident with showing his feelings for you, and to be fair and to be completely nice, you just let him do his thing without hurting his feelings. If he wants to text you good morning messages and send you subtle but sweet phrases, you let him. If he wants to sit beside you during lunch breaks and not on his usual seat across you, so be it. If he insist on waiting for you after class and drive you home, you accept it. These are the things that you imagine him doing to you during freshman year but now that it’s actually happening, you feel weird about it.

Finally he asked you out on a date. Which you turned down because you have school stuff to finish and he completely understands it. And then he asked you out again, and you had to turn him down again. Because you really don’t want to go on a date with him.

“I think I’m doing something wrong?” he drinks his fourth bottle of beer while his friends listens to everything he says. Seeing the Lee Jeno so broken and frustrated like this is new to them. Turns out, you’re the only girl he’s interested with after being single for almost four years.

“Give her time that’s my say, maybe you’re intimidating her at some point and she’s not into popular guys” Mark pats Jeno’s shoulder and clinks his bottle of beer with Jeno’s.

“Any word from her best friend?” Jeno asks, and Mark shook his head none. Your best friend and Mark Lee have been dating for some time now and that officially put both of your names into the hall of fame. And a possible target of the crazy girls who are head over heels for Jeno and Mark.

Jeno didn’t understand why. It’s not that he’s so full of himself that he’s so confident that he can win you with his charms, but theres something different about you that even though it’s obvious that you only love him as a friend, he kept on pushing and pushing. And he wanted to do it until he can finally call you his.

Now that Jeno is busy being an intern outside school, you no longer see each other everyday and talk to each other like how you usually do. That’s how you met Hendery. Unlike you and Jeno who started off being friends, you and Hendery started off being sweethearts. And maybe that’s what went wrong between you and Jeno because you completely remember that you still have feelings for him the moment he ate one of your cookie, then your feelings slowly fade away each day you two meet.

You told Jeno all about Hendery through one of your calls before going to sleep simply because you don’t want him to find out from other people. “He’s a great guy, we went on a date yesterday after school”

“Two weeks with this guy and he can get you on a date? Wow” Jeno is broken, “I’m with you for over six months already and I asked you to go on a date with me twice…. you never said yes” the hurt from his voice is obvious and your heart is breaking because you didn’t mean to hurt him, you just wanted to be honest.

After that call, you and Jeno did not talked to each other. You wanted so bad to talk to him but you’re scared that he’ll get the wrong memo and that he will think that he still stand a chance. So yet let him be and you let him come to you and you focus on Hendery.

A few weeks after, you saw a picture of Yeeun and Jeno on one of his social media accounts having a romantic date somewhere. Complete with wine and candles. You’re jealous and theres no way you can cover it up.

“Is this some kind of joke?” you exclaimed over the phone to your best friend, mad and angry about what you just saw.

“He’s moving on give him a break. Besides I thought you don’t have feelings for him?”

“I don’t I’m just… offended because he’s completely doing this on purpose because of Hendery which is so childish! Oh my g- I can’t… ugh!” you continue to shout and scream over the phone but your best friend is in the middle of having sex with Mark so you can’t talk to her well.

Being jealous is a proof that you have feelings for him still. And you can’t give in to that because going back to Jeno will hurt Hendery, so you have to be smart and weigh things over. If Jeno ask you out on a date for the last time before being official with Hendery, you will give him a chance. But if not, that will be the end of it.

As days go by, Hendery has been going full out on showing how much he likes you and you come to the realization that you actually love Hendery already. Jeno on the other hand, haven’t talked to you since then, no hi or hello. And the thought of Jeno is the only thing that’s stopping you from making it official with Hendery. Of course you feel bad, it feels like you’re cheating on him. And to be completely honest, you’re growing tired of this push and pull with Jeno.

You were eating your favorite pasta alone while you catch up with some readings for your last class for the day when a fine young man sat in front of you. “Did you just saved me a seat?” one glance of his perfect smile made your anger vanished out of thin air.

“Yeah I kept it empty until you come back” you were happy to see him, it feels like those days when everything was still okay between you and him. No drama just you and Jeno and your own little world.

“Want to go for a drive?” he raised his eyebrows twice, luring you to miss another class for a drive with him. And because you miss him so bad, the next thing you know you’re watching a scary movie with burgers on your hands sitting closely with each other. His warmth is enough to make you feel safe and not scared with the movie and when the burgers are all finished, your hands are intertwined unconsciously.

You were both quiet when you got back to his car because of the movie you just watched. Both too scared and weirded out with how the story ended. “At least they died together”

“Yeah” you agreed immediately but you two stayed quiet.

“Did you know that you were holding my hand?”

You snap your head and looked at him, shy to answer what he asked you but theres no escape and you can’t make an excuse. “Yeah, sorry about tha-“

He’s quick to to grab your hand and hold it firmly you feel like your bones are starting to crush. It hurts but there’s no words coming out from your mouth. He made you face him with his free hand and leaned towards your face to kiss you. Just a peck as if he’s testing waters.

Then you kissed him back. And the kiss became heated that he pulled you close to him and invited you to sit on his lap, legs on the driver’s seat, his arms around your waist and yours is looking for something you can grasp because his kisses are intense.

“Why can’t you love me? Huh?” you see the hurt in his eyes when you peek in between kisses and you felt guilty. Tears run down to his face but you don’t know if it’s tears of joy or out of sadness.

“Jeno, please stop crying” you beg, breathing hard and gasping. But he never stopped.

“Say you love me” his hug against your waist tightens more as if he never wanted you leave his car, “say you love me, please” he sobs.

His begging made you do it, “I love you. Please stop crying, you don’t deserve this”

Hearing those words made him relax and loosen up his crushing embrace. His hand creeps to the hem of your shirt, playing with your tummy tickling it because he knows you’re ticklish. That changed the mood, he undid your pants and made some space so you can remove it easily. He did the same thing with his pants and boxer briefs and reached for the console to get a condom which he quickly rolled to his cock before you get back on top of him.

He motions you back close to him and put a little spit on his fingers before playing with your slit, checking if you’re ready to be fucked. “You’re not a virgin right? I don’t have to be careful anymore” he asked with ragged breath, obviously excited for what’s going to happen.

“Be gentle, still. It’s been so long since my last” you positioned your legs in between him, letting his cock tease your cunt and spread your juices more.

“Wheres the fun on being gentle? But don’t worry, I love you too much I wont let you get hurt”

You slowly sink down on him feeling his thick and veiny cock and rolled your hips slightly to help you adjust more and so you can have rough sex,  just how wants. “Ah- Jen if I roll my hips longer I will cum” he chuckled and took over, thrusting hard upwards your cunt. One hard thrust at a time, you feel your head bump on top of the car roof your hands push on the windows for support. Then his thrusts became faster putting you two on edge in no time.  You were moaning and letting out sharp breaths in between curses so he pulled your face closer to him and kissed you while he fucks you to your orgasm and while he catches his own.

The car smelled like sex and you were both too weak to move after cumming. It started raining hard and you feel awfully comfortable sitting on Jeno’s lap. “Just so you know, I didn’t planned for this to happen”

“I know” with all your strength you made yourself presentable again and went back to your seat and waited for Jeno to drive you home.

The rain was making you feel more sad and guilty, swimming with your thoughts while thinking about Hendery. That’s why you didn’t hear Jeno ask you is you if you were cold he needed to reach for your hand while he was driving under the strong rain and flinch because of his cold hands.

“Sorry, what” you crossed your arms so he can’t reach for your hand again. Your mind is full of Hendery and you and can’t tell him that.

Jeno on the other hand knew something is wrong that you feel guilty or mad because of the sex. But he wants to be selfish just this once to prove to you that he loves you and this is the only way. “Nothing, I asked if you were cold”

Sex never felt so wrong.

When you came home you took a shower and cried for hours, avoiding Jeno’s calls and messages because you feel bad about what happened. You don’t know what to do but you can’t tell Hendery what happened, so you did something to ease the guilt that you’re feeling. You finally made it official with Hendery, your heart broke even more when you heard him so happy through the phone because that only means he loves you too much.

Then there’s you. Having sex with a friend who’m you used to have a big crush with.

You avoided Jeno with all your power until he gets the message that you feel bad about what happened between the two of you. Until the day the that you’re ready to face him again, you will not talk to him.  

And that’s how you broke Lee Jeno’s heart.

SENIOR YEAR

What happened between you and Jeno flashbacks like a movie in your head during lunch break and you can’t believe that you can feel his presence around the campus even though you can’t see him.  

It’s been seven ugly months when you and Hendery broke up and you have to admit that it still hurt like hell. Cheating motherfucker didn’t deserve you. The regret of choosing Hendery over Jeno haunted you everyday but you didn’t expect that Jeno will literally comeback barging into your life again.

Maybe this time life will give you a shot at the love you deserve. And Jeno is the answer to that. But it’s been years since the last time you talked and that was the night you two had sex in his car. What you did to him was unforgivable and you feel bad, you feel like you used him but you didn’t mean it if that makes sense.

“Mark is here, you sure you don’t need a ride?” your best friend brought you back to reality while you were swimming in thoughts. You didn’t even notice it was raining hard already.

“I’ll be fine. I can just call an Uber, tell Mark to drive safe okay?” she hugged you and went towards Mark’s waiting car outside the school lobby. You were just about to book an Uber when someone tapped you on your shoulder.

“Come on I’ll drive you home. Just like old times”

“You do know that a student-teacher relationship is jail time right? This is not old times Jeno. You’re a teacher, a professor rather. And I’m still obviously a student” you turned your back on him and continued fidgeting on your phone.

“And I’m being a responsible adult, who’s offering help to a student that’s obviously in need because your phone just died on you” he smirked.  

“Fine wheres your car” you said, accepting defeat.

“Right this way please” he ushered you to the elevator to go to the basement parking.

While walking to his car, you didn’t expect him to still have the car. The car where you two had sex. And that is the main reason why you didn’t want him to drive you home.

The rain caused a heavy traffic and it made you feel more suffocated inside Jeno’s car. You cross your arms because you were freezing, clinging to your thin sweater for more heat.

“Don’t worry, I won’t touch you. Please relax, you’re breaking my heart”

Your head swing towards him and you gave him a look. A look that’s telling him you’re angry and how dare him to mention your past. It was so hard not to talk back because it can end up as a fight so you kept what you’re feeling to yourself.

“You make me feel like I’m a bad person when all I ever cared about is you and loving you” he added.

“Please Jeno, don’t do this now” you beg, closing your eyes and turning your back against him looking at the cars outside.

“After that night you made me feel like I’m a rapist or something. I’m sorry that it’s not what you want to do that time, I’m sorry that I begged, Im so-“

“I forgive you. And you don’t have to say sorry because I was the one who hurt you Jeno. Not the other way around, so please understand how hard it it for me to sit with you in this car. To make you feel better I regret not choosing you. There! I said it. Now please shut up”

The ride became quiet, awkward and cold so you decided to sleep if off. When you woke up from your nap, you and Jeno are in front of your house already and he’s waiting for you to wake up. His jacket is on your lap cover your freezing legs and he even turned off the air conditioning so you won’t shiver. It was a kind gesture you admit, and he’s still Lee Jeno who cared for you. Your friend. Even though you hurt him so many times and that makes you a heartless person still, you care for him. “Thank you. And I’m sorry about earlier”

“I’m getting married” he finally blurted out.

You didn’t know. You didn’t even know that he was seeing someone “And… I’m happy for you…” what he said got you speechless and you felt your heart broke even more.

“But I recently found out through Mark that you and Hendery are over… And I started to have seconds thoughts Y/n”

MAIN MASTERLIST

Story time

Is it wrong to admit that everything inside this fic happened to me in real life? hahahaha Except to the part where he’s having second thoughts. 

So yeah the story goes like that I picked someone new over my crush who’m I became good friends with and that is that. hahahaha I recently found out that he’s getting married to girl, after me. And I couldn’t help but think that WHAT IF I chose him, it could have been my wedding. :((((((((((((( oh and yeah. he looked like Jeno. 

[diary-of-an-onliner]

feet on the ground [f.w.]

word count: 3381

warnings: none

a/n: this is based on, and a counterpart/continuation of @ickle-ronniekins 's head in the clouds — thanks for the inspo babe, this one is for you

Fred Weasley was not happy. Sure, he had made a lot of questionable, or as other people like to say 'bad', decisions in his life, but taking Care of Magical Creatures was one of the worst. Yes, it made Hagrid ecstatic, and that's always a good thing to see; yes, it's useful for his future business. However a hellfire-cracken the size of a shoebox was making him rethink his choices.

For the lack of a better distraction, he focused on digging a hole in the grass with his trainer as Hagrid’s rumbled instructiones flew over his head, missing both ears and zooming away into an indifferent oblivion. George is taking this already, he looked to George, who was quite enchanted with his partner, and thoroughly enjoying it, couldn't we have split up? He kicked the dirt lightly, startling the girl next to him.

Neither Fred nor his Slytherin partner were thrilled with each other,but misery loves company, so it might be for the best.

"How's the weather up there?" said his partner, who was crouching eye — er, shell-level, with the creature, but keeping her distance nonetheless. Her hair waved and flickered on her shoulder as she bounced on her heels.

"Immaculate, thanks for asking." he said, not wanting to get closer to the scorpion-lobster lovechild from the asshole of hell. "Y'know Hagrid said those things burn, bite, and sting, right?"

"So do I.” she said sarcastically, still keeping her gaze tied to the monster. “I'm not going to touch it, I'm just looking. You're aware we need to sketch it, label its parts and write an essay about it later?" Fred shifted his weight from foot to foot restlessly.

"Yes." his nostrils flared.

She pursed her lips and, after a moment of silence, said: "I dare you to touch it."

He crossed his arms. "I am not taking dares from you. We met three minutes ago and I haven't enjoyed a second of it."

"What's up your ass?" she turned to him, still crouching. "Actually, I don't care. Just don't take it out on me." The creature clicked their — tail? — pincers? — their something.

"I wasn't—" she raised an eyebrow and he fell silent, and looked away.

"'m not very thrilled to be here." he mumbled. "And that ugly death trap isn't making it better. Can we start over?" he asked, sighing and tiredly sweeping his left hand through his hair, and offering his right to her.

She took it and pulled herself up, then promptly smoothed out her skirt, shook his still proffered hand, and introduced herself.

Unlike his messy untucked shirt, her uniform was pressed down to the socks and her shoes held no traces of mud. It gave her a calculating, and slightly cold aura, as if she was drawn with a set of rulers and a compass. She was probably more geometrical than anyone who had ever taken Care of Magical Creatures.

"Fred." he said, even though she knew.

"Well Fred, we will be working together on this Blast-Ended Skrewt for the next few weeks, so that 'ugly death trap’ is our son you're talking about." she chided with a smile that better belonged on a sly fox rather than a girl.

"You sound very attached to it." he shot back. An idea, a thought, a silver of a notion that this might be fun slithered along the floor of his skull.

"Him.” She corrected with her pointer finger in the air. “And it's called being a good parent." she lightly jabbed him in the chest.

"Okay then. Go pet your son." Fred smirked.

They turned toward the beast which was playing in the grass like a puppy. It seemed to be wiggling its tails.

Her eyes narrowed: "Which part is the head?"

"I don't know. We should probably figure it out, since the other side shoots flames." he said in an amused tone.

"It's supposed to be a sucker, so it might be the penis-looking side." he chuckled, but when she turned to stare at him expectantly, his red eyebrow jumped in question. A breeze ruffled their hair.

"Go on then, don't be shy, we need to compare." she said flatly.

He burst out laughing so hard, a few people around them turned to stare - quite a dangerous thing to do at the moment seeing as some of the beasts started snipping. A yelp sounded from afar, and Fred laughed even harder.

At least his partner is funny.

"Seriously though, this thing is going to fire-fart on us soon and we need to figure it out."

“You don’t feel better in nature?” her tone piqued as she turned the pages of a book. Their desk was covered with them, during the first of their many study meetings.

“No.” Fred played with his quill, spinning it through his fingers. “You do?”

“I feel clearer, especially near water.”, thump, she shut her book and discarded it.

“How come?” he balanced on the back legs of his chair, eyes darting around.

“I don’t know. It’s not a thing I question.”, flip, flip, flip, “It just lures me out of my head, and makes me feel a little more real, like I’m aware of my own existence. Sharper, yknow?”

Fred shook his head.

“I don’t have a need to get out of my head, it’s great in there.” he joked. She snorted and passed him a book with a piece of paper sticking out.

“Don’t you? You seem to be in there a lot though. I think you think too much.” Fred chukled, “That’s something I've never been told.”

“Then it’s about time.” she threw his way, but she had yet to look at him, Fred noted. The idea of her as geometrical played around in his head. “Try it next time. People exist a little sharper sometimes. It stops you from feeling like you’re going to float away.” her eyes finally flickered to him like two needles of her compasses, and shot him down. His chair hit the ground.

Before Fred had a chance to say something else or roll her idea around in his brain, she passed him a piece of parchment with a soft order to, “Write.”

His diagram of their unnamed child was much neater than hers, but his illegible handwriting distracted from it perfectly.

"That is not a t."she said, her hair almost electrified from stress-combing it with her hands.

"It's obviously a g." he chirped, but his tone sounded worn down all the same. She squinted at the paper with her mouth open for a moment, then gave up.

"How are you still this peppy?" she asked as her gaze lazily rolled itself away from the books. His tie was completely undone and being used as a bookmark, his shirt unbuttoned and ruffled like his hair, ha, carrot head!, but he took no note of it as he balanced on the back legs of his chair again. Every so often, a clank would sound amid their conversation when the chair struck against the stone floor and his feet hit the ground, before he leaned back again.

"What are you talking about? I'm knackered." he yawned.

She looked up, and her thoughts leaked out of her head. The scenery through the window behind him was gorgeous, lit on fire by the dusk— oversaturated reds and pinks which lined the dark purple clouds.

With a loud tap on the library floor, the front legs of Fred's chair touched the ground and his head covered the sun perfectly, giving him a golden lining and making his orange hair melt into the background. The clear lines of his face looked almost chiseled in contrast to the haziness behind him.

A weight settled in the center of her torso, an iron bowling ball rolling between her stomach and her heart. He was handsome. She knew this. But she used to know it the way one knows they should drink water when they’re thirsty. Knowing you needed it after you drink him in, swallow, and sign, is another story.

She felt a warm metal line grow out of her chest, like a vine towards the sunlight, enter his chest and settle.

For a few moments she imagined it. She tried to note the dragging sensation of warm iron and let herself be pulled to him. She imagined the ball rolling in his center, and all his squirming being in an attempt to adjust it instead of just staying awake.

Then she blinked. Took in the real scene. Despite being exhausted, she felt tranquil in their little corner filled with books and a few very ugly sketches. She picked one up.

“Are we allowed to call his head a dick?” She questioned, but Fred just yawned and shrugged. His chair tipped back again.

“You’ll hurt yourself.” She said flatly, words moving from line to line like trains with the shittiest track designs ever.

“The thrill keeps me awake.” he closed his eyes, hair still a burning red. She didn’t dare look at the Sun for too long. Her eyes tried to follow the words. The ball rolled.

He slid another sketch towards her. “I think we should use this one.”

She put the first one aside, their hands brushing as she took the new parchment. She heard the scraping of his chair on the floor as he moved closer until his collarbone pressed against her shoulder as he leaned over to point. The body heat he was emitting only reminded her of the weariness her body carried. It also refashioned her bowling ball into an anchor slowly sinking through her stomach, tickling her insides on the way down.

The sketch was neater and much simpler than others, no more than a handful of black lines on a yellowing parchment.

“This part is the head.” Fred pointed out. “I think. It looks weird and there isn’t exactly a good reference for a randomly cross-bred demon.” He seemed so focused on his drawing that she got the feeling he was avoiding her eyes intentionally. Stupid, really. They’re both just tired and have a lot of work.

Look at me.

He didn’t.

She banished all her stupid silly thoughts, and tried to turn to the books for the next few hours.

Fred stayed circling warmly on the edge of her orbit, moving around her but never looking, never acknowledging her as anything other than a voice and a pair of friendly working hands. The silly stupid thread she felt earlier vibrated. She didn't bring it up for fear they wouldn't finish all their work if she were to derail the conversation, so she waited until the end of their study session.

However, when the anticipated end neared, his chair hit the stone the last time and when she turned to him, Fred was lying on his arms on the table, asleep. His outline was as bright and as sharp as ever, but his face was soft and smooth from relaxation, like a marble statue melting. The anchor in her stomach lurch up at the sight, but she swallowed it down, smiled, and laid her head on the table too.

Another sunny afternoon had George almost skipping to his quirky partner. And Fred was glad, he liked to see his brother happy and loved teasing him for being in love even more — but he still hated the bloody beasts. He was thankful for George's efforts to cheer him up, but Fred refused to move out from under his personal gloomy cloud, choosing to carry it alone instead, the way one would an umbrella.

As soon as George mentions his partner, he knows it's time to leave him to his beloved, as he does, with minimal mocking involved (—but come on!).

As Fred approached her, he saw her roll her eyes. Funny. Something about knowing she's as un-excited as he is made his chest swell up with what can only be described as the sudden understanding of the real depth of companionship between you and a stranger, an acquaintance, a friend. I might not like this, but I am not alone.

"They're four feet long already. Your future sister-in-law," said his partner, gesturing to George's love with her head, at which Fred smiled warmly, "said we only get to work with them for another class. I think she might cry." His clouds stopped thundering.

"Don't be rude." he replied but did not sound angry in the least.

"I'm not. She's a nice girl and God bless her for being passionate about this. We need people like her, otherwise the rest of us would have to care as well." she reasoned.

"There's that warm and welcoming Slytherin care I've heard all about." he said sarcastically.

"Rude. Gingers truly are soulless." Fred got nudged in the ribs.

"Oi!"

"Oi yourself!" she flipped her hair and flashed her foxy smile. No, it's fox-like. "Don't start things you can't finish."

"Well, I'm ready to be done with this thing." he looked pointedly at the snapping creature reaching out to them like a baby in a cot.

They received their instructions from Hagrid to feed, entertain, and check the health of the creature and set off to work. After a few minutes of silence, Fred spoke.

"I think there's something wrong with this thing." he squinted.

"Him." She corrected, "He's our son."

"Well I think our son is pregnant." Fred’s face soured.

“No way." she replied, kneeling closer to the beast than she'd ever dared before. "How do you know?"

"A hunch?" Fred shrugged his very nicely shaped shoulders. No! "I'm not sure. It did eat three times as much as the others. It should be a lot fatter."

"He." She absent-mindedly corrected, trying to get a good enough look.

"He doesn't look sick but he's being weird." he squatted next to her, bouncing on his heels.

"Maybe he's lonely. We both ditched a few times." She bumped her knee into his. "I dare you to touch him."

Fred laughed as he turned to her. "I'm not that commited of a father. You do it."

"Why me? You need to do something too!" she whined as their son approached in a rather puppy-like gait, as if he was going to rub against their legs, and Fred's gaze slipped off her, like that day in the library.

"I'll do whatever you want.” he paused "Within reason, of course."

"Touch him."

"Within reason."

"Fine." their dark-shelled son stood before them now, but they were not as hesitant this time. The beast looked at Fred with either his head or his stinger (how is it still not clear?).

Slowly and shakily, her hand reached out. She almost withdrew it, but it already made contact with their son's back and he made a sound similar to purring, which was both surprising and unsettling. Her face bent in disgust as her entire palm pressed against his black shell, gleaming maroon in the sunlight.

"Ew. He's slimy." she detached her hand to see a catran-like substance coating it. "How is he slimy?"

Fred's nose was scrunched as well but an amused gleam flickered on his face nonetheless. “Disgusting.”

"Well, I did it." she complained, trying to wipe her hand on his arm, but he rose to his feet quickly, laughing.

“Keep that to yourself.” Fred warned, trying to avoid her swift attempts to use him as a rag.

“Come on!” She whined. “We’re in this together. If I have to be gross then so do you.” she jumped up after Fred.

He felt weightless as he maneuvered around her and the clawing beast that still purred by their feet, and he realized how warm the sunlight was. His little cloud was gone. In that distracted second of their impromptu three-creature quickstep, she wrapped her clean hand around his hand and pulled herself closer to him.

She grinned from ear to ear, and Fred felt her wet, cold hand sliding down his shoulder. She wiped a few times down his arm and chest with a wickedly satisfied look in her face as he wondered why he didn’t mind it so much. His eyes danced over her face the way his trainers had over the grass mere seconds ago.

“What?” she asked. Wait, she was speaking.

“Um, nothing.” his face rearranged itself from a goofy smile (What?) and he looked at his stained shirt. Before he even had time to comment, her voice made the center of his stomach tighten.

“Do you think he'd lick one if she asked?” Fred followed her gaze to George, looking as dreamy as his partner who was purring back at their Blast-Ended Skrewt. Sunlight covered them too.

Her hand still held onto him.

Fred sighed, both amused and lightheaded from a new discovery threatening to unveil its face in his mind. George laughed so loudly it reached Fred’s ears, and he responded, “Yes.”

“Would you lick one for me?” she batted her eyelashes.

“Absolutely not.” he said without missing a beat.

“What kind of a father won't even lick his own son?” she put a hand on her chest, faux-horrified.

“I still think our son is pregnant.” he said, grinning at her.

“What kind of a father won't lick his own pregnant son?” she humored.

“You're making this worse than it has to be.”

Her eyebrow rose as she offered: “You can always do this alone?”

“No.” something ugly and covered in spikes spun in Fred's stomach.

“Well then,” she said smugly, as if she knew, “you need to start cooperating.” She tugged on his arm with her hand that was there the whole time. Her arm slid around his as she pulled him along, and Fred adjusted his collar with his fingers. When did they get so far away from the group?

“You don’t pet him, you don’t groom him with your tongue like a cat, what do you do? I haven’t seen you change a single diaper!” she over-exaggerated. “I’m basically a single mother!”

He laughed and apologized, feeling lighter and sharper than he had all day.

His future sister-in-law was wrong. They worked on their loving, puppy-like hell scorpions for three more classes, and had another one in a classroom, correcting their essays. During that class, they found out that their son really was pregnant, at which they laughed all the way to the Great Hall.

Fred felt something heavy rolling over his intestines when he thought of the end. It wound itself around his organs until his lips dropped. Nevertheless, he grinned at George (who definitely saw through him), and, with his chin up like a proud lion, departed from him to sit next to his partner, one last time.

He thought about her more often than he expected to, and he feared he might have to stop soon.

As he slid next to her, his metaphorical tail curled closer to him. She beamed brightly at him, and offered her closed fist.

“You ready, partner?”

No, he curled his fingers with a smile, I don’t think I am, and bumped their hands together.

“Doesn’t have to end? Didn't you listen?” she asked him incredulously as he caught up with her. He couldn’t say he has, as his ears buzzed deafeningly loudly since they received their O.

Maybe she had a point when she said there were moments when people felt more defined as he was more sure than ever that he existed in the corridor leading to the Care of Magical Creatures classroom, as his limbs filled with lead at the way she spoke.

“I just thought if you—” his mouth shit on its own. “You know—”

“Holy shit, you really didn’t listen?” but this time she laughed. “Hagrid said we can pick our own partners for the next project.” Her arm curled around his own, “So unless you want to dump me, we march on.”

Whatever heavy thing has been making his stomach a winter home the past week flew off to their summer residence.

She definitely had a point about grounded moments, because when her hand squeezed his arm, the lead leaked out and the awareness of every part of his body slammed into focus.

And Fred smiled back.

She smiled promisingly at him, his heart stuttered, and his sneakers sunk into the stone beneath him.

[cuquitalocita]

a secret valentine- percabeth

AN: hi! yes, hello, i haven’t written in a HOT MINUTE but today i put on a timer for half an hour and forced myself to write so here are the results! happy valentine’s day everyone and i hope you enjoy this little bit of percabeth fluff! also! a shoutout to the people who are also single but more importantly shout out to my favorite human being in the ENTIRE WORLD @alaenawrites​ i HIGHLY?? recommend following her?? thanks for beta reading it and... yeah... i love you so please enjoy!

Part Two

~~

“Gods, isn’t that enough?” Annabeth shot a venomous look at the boy next to her who now held a massive pile of books for her. She had just stacked on another one and he glared at it in disgust as Annabeth ran her fingers along the spines of the remaining books on the shelf.

“If you have an issue Jackson, feel free to leave,” she snapped, knowing he wouldn’t because of their group of friends who were wandering around them through the book store. Jason had convinced Percy to hold her books for her as she shopped, saying something about getting on her good side and Annabeth had merely snorted, muttering something about the chances of that happening. It had been an hour of annoying comments and him following her around the store while Annabeth picked specifically heavier books to shove into his arms one by one.

“A man can dream,” he muttered and Annabeth rolled her eyes as Piper watched them. Piper opened her mouth to say something when both her and Percy looked up at her, their matching glares directed for each other but instead being projected onto their innocent immediately had her snapping her mouth shut.

“You know what? Never mind. Jase!” she called to her boyfriend who was sitting in one of the comfortable looking chairs at the front of the store. He pushed his glasses back up his well shaped nose as he looked up at his girlfriend, a charming smile beginning to bloom on his face. He stood up and Annabeth swore his massive frame cast a shadow over her books. 

“Ready to go ladies?” he asked and the girls nodded, heading over to the register, Percy trailing behind them. 

“Got enough books Chase? Or have you not gone broke just yet?” Annabeth stiffened and rolled her eyes although he couldn’t see her and spun around with a glare, gray eyes flashing. He padded up next to her and dropped her books unceremoniously onto the counter for her to pay.  

“Got enough brain cells Jackson? Or have you wasted too many of them making stupid comments?” Percy Jackson only smirked back at her, a cold thing unlike what he gave most of their other friends. She hated admitting how attractive he was. Percy was easily handsome, with pretty golden skin and disheveled black hair. He opened his mouth, clearly ready to snap something back at her when another voice interrupted them.

“Chicos, chicos!” Leo came up behind Annabeth, throwing his arm around her shoulders with an easy grin. “Let’s not fight guys! It is almost Valentine’s day after all.” Annabeth resisted rolling her eyes at the mention of the ridiculous holiday and turned back to the register, ignoring the burning gaze of the blue-green eyes she knew were following her every move. 

“Speaking of,” Percy said, clearly no longer addressing her. “I better head back home. We’re finishing moving Mom’s stuff out of the apartment by tomorrow.” 

The group smiled at the mention of Sally Blofis, the newly married mother of their group and even Annabeth couldn’t hold back a twinge of her lips. She absolutely adored the woman. Annabeth guessed her adorable four year old daughter didn’t hurt either. Her son was a different story. 

“See you tomorrow though?” he asked to the group. Piper snorted.

“Nice try, Percy,” she laughed. “But tomorrow’s Valentine’s day so I’ll be stealing your boyfriend for the entire day.” Annabeth turned around in time for Percy to fake a pout and ignored what it made the butterflies in her stomach do. “So he’s off limits.” 

“I’ll be your valentine, Jackson. As long as you’re okay buying the chocolate,” Leo called over from where he was leaning on Annabeth. Percy rolled his eyes.

“Please. The only person stupid enough to be your valentine is you.” Annabeth laughed a little and Leo frowned, pushing himself off of her.

“I wouldn’t be laughing if I were you, Beth. Last I checked, you’re flying solo too.” Annabeth rolled her eyes and smacked Leo over the back of his head with a book.

“See if you can find where I care, Valdez,” she snapped back.

Piper snickered from across from them. “You and Percy should be valentine’s Annabeth, since you’re both single anyway.” If Annabeth had been drinking water, she would have spit it out all over her friends in shock. Piper could clearly tell and was doubled over laughing, clutching at her stomach where Jason held her by the waist, rolling his eyes fondly. 

“As if,” Percy cut her off from responding with a roll of his eyes. “She couldn’t take her nose out of a book long enough to give me the time of day.”

“And he couldn’t get his head out of his ass long enough to listen to a thing I say,” Annabeth added on, shooting the boy a glare that he gladly returned. 

“Don’t flatter yourself into thinking you’d say anything worth listening to Chase,” he sneered and Annabeth shoved one of her books back into her bag. 

“Don’t you have some movers to go annoy? I’m sure they’d appreciate your company much more than we do,” Annabeth snapped back. They held fiery eye contact for the next couple of seconds before Leo cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“On that note,” he laughed nervously. “We should probably go meet Frank and Hazel at the cafe.” Percy muttered something about no longer wanting to be in a room with ‘that know-it-all blonde’ and exited the book store, not looking back. 

Annabeth glared at her boots as Piper came to stand next to her.

“You could try to get along with him you know. It’s been years of this, and it’s seriously starting to get bad.” Annabeth straightened her shoulders and looked her friend in the face, her eyes blazing with determination. 

“The day I get along with Percy Jackson is the day I die.”

~~

Annabeth had just finished pinning her hair up with the owl pendant she had been gifted for her birthday last year when she heard a knock at her door. The cheap apartment she had rented for her stay during college was sketchy to say the least, and she could hear the knock all the way from her room. She didn’t know who would be coming to her house on Valentine’s day. Wasn’t everyone with their person? Glancing at the bathroom light that was still on she walked to the living room, smoothing her hands over her white jeans as she walked. 

She swung the door open to see none other than her best friend, flowers and pints of ice cream in tow.

“Piper?” Annabeth asked incredulity. “What are you doing here?” Piper rolled her eyes and let herself in.

“Please, Annabeth. You’re much too smart not to know what I’m doing here.” She stopped at her couch and sat down, her eyed twinkling with mischief. “Jason and I decided that we could push our dinner back to next week, considering he’s busy studying for midterms right now anyway, and you said you were gonna be alone this Valentine’s day, so I figured we’d make it Galentine’s day.” 

She smiled and something inside of her warmed at the gesture her friend had made for her. Another part of her blared red flashing lights. 

“Pipes, thank you so much but you really didn’t have to do that,” she reasoned, hoping the nice words would convince her friend to get her ass off of the couch and leave. “I’m not feeling too good anyway and I think I might be coming down with something. You should go before you catch it,” she smiled. “Maybe there’s still time to find Jase and go to dinner.” 

Piper shook her head, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV. “Come on Annabeth, I think your pride can take this one. You’ve been alone on Valentine’s day before and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. So what do you think? The Notebook or Message in a Bottle? You should change too,” she added, glancing at Annabeth’s fancy jeans and pretty gray top. She hoped Piper hadn’t noticed the extra makeup she had on that she usually forgoes.

Her heart pounded in her ears and Annabeth tried once more what she knew was impossible.

“Pipes, I really think that-”

“Hey Wise Girl? What time is our reserva...” Annabeth’s eyes slammed shut in defeat as the voice carried out from her bedroom and her shirtless boyfriend walked out to the living room, his sentence trailing off as he took in the girl on the couch. His green eyes widened in shock and his mouth formed a perfectly shocked ‘o’ shape. Annabeth mirrored the sentiment. They were screwed.

Piper was off of the couch in a flash her eyes wider than she had ever seen them and Annabeth pondered exactly what was going through her best friend’s head. She clearly decided to say the first thing that came to her mind.

“Bullshit.” 

Percy burst out a laugh and Annabeth glared at him, effectively shutting him up for the time being. He ran out of the room and came back seconds later, now wearing a shirt.

“Before you say anything,” Annabeth started. “Let us explain.”

“Explain what exactly?” Piper cut her off. “How you’ve been dating the boy you’ve been claiming to hate for the past seven years? Or how you’re a much better actress than we give you credit for?” Annabeth winced at the statement but Percy was there in an instant, his arm wrapping itself around her waist in a comforting hold.

“Easy Pipes,” his voice was a warning and Annabeth squeezed the hand that rested on her waist, shooting the boy next to her a thankful look. He only pressed his lips to her temple in response and Annabeth melted a little bit.

Piper caught the act, her eyes widening even more somehow. “Damn. So this is real?” The two nodded and Percy’s hand squeezed her waist a little bit. Annabeth gazed at her friend warily, her nerves dissipating when Piper’s face broke into a massive grin. 

“You know what this means?” Percy had dropped his head to Annabeth’s shoulder and was playing with one of her curls.

“I can finally stop pretending to hate my girlfriend?” he asked into Annabeth’s neck and she laughed as his wild hair tickled her. She kissed his cheek and turned back to Piper, who’s grin was now positively victorious. 

“No,” she replied, reaching for her phone and dialing a number, her smile never leaving her face. “It means Valdez owes me fifty bucks.”

~~

“Person A doesn’t know Person B and Person C are together until Person C walks into Person B’s room on Valentine’s Day without knocking.”

~~

that’s it. also can someone please give me prompts cause i wanna try to write more :)

[chaeryybomb]

“a golden moment in college”

anon:  Helllloooo would you please do a Hwang Hyunjin college/university au!! THANK u!!! Keep glowing!!

pairing: hwang hyunjin x gender neutral!reader

genre: established relationship, college au, fluff

warnings: none

wordcount: 866

a/n: thank you for the request and sorry for the wait! i didn’t know if you wanted like headcanons or a drabble, but i went with the drabble. i hope you like it!

Movies made college look so easy and stress-free. Well, you have concluded that movies are the world's biggest liars. College was not easy and it was definitely not stress-free. You had assignments being thrown at you from left and right, projects that were so overdue and not to mention you were trying to earn money to at least have a decent meal that wasn't instant noodles again. Especially during exam season.  

It made you want to curl up in a ball and cry your eyes out, until you run out of tears. You would rather go back to high school- no, you take that back. High school was worse and cursed as fuck. 

You suppose college has its golden moments. Like more freedom away from your parents and not being pressured by everyone's expectations. Getting calls from your best friends at ungodly hours for a quick McDonald's run or waking up early just to avoid the long queue at Starbucks. And of course, the cherry on top was your lovely, dramatic boyfriend, Hwang Hyunjin.

Who was currently laying on your bed whining about how hard his history paper was. "Why did I ever take history? I'm a dance major," he asked you rhetorically with a pout on his lips.

"Jisung convinced you to take it with him," you simply replied, not taking your eyes off your reference book.

Hyunjin groaned loudly and stuffed his head in your pillow. Lifting his legs up, he looked at you with his chin resting on his palm. You had your "cramming for tests" look. With your glasses perched high up on your nose, your right hand fidgeting with a pen and your nose scrunched up in annoyance whenever you don't understand a passage. 

You looked cute. Then again, when were you never cute.

"Y/N," Hyunjin called out in a sing-song voice.

"Hm?"

"Come cuddle."

"Can't, too busy studying the law of physics."

Hyunjin gasped out loud and sat up straight. "You choose the law of physics, over me? Your perfect-prince-looking-boyfriend?" he feigned hurt with his hand over his heart. 

You turn around in your chair and rolled your eyes at him. "Yeah well my perfect-prince-looking-boyfriend doesn't decide my physics grade."

"Oh yeah?" Hyunjin challenged. "Can your physics grade do this?" He asked and proceeded to attack you with tickles from behind.  

You immediately dropped your pen when he pressed his fingers to your side. "Ah! Hyunjin, stop!" you yelped and squirmed in your seat as Hyunjin tickled your sides. He snickered as you dissolved into giggles. 

Your stomach was in pain from all the laughing and tickling but you had no chance over your boyfriend's bigger frame. All you could do was squirm in your chair helpless. Hyunjin, on the other hand, took it as his chance to lift you off from your chair bridal style and carry you to bed. 

You yelped again at the action, your hands automatically clasped behind his neck. "Hwang Hyunjin let me down right now, you big ass oak tree!" 

But Hyunjin ignored your insults and dropped you onto your bed. You landed with a small bounce and let out a big 'oof' when Hyunjin basically fell on top of you, caging you in between him and your bed. 

"Hyunjinnnn," you whined, dragging out the syllabus of his name while doing so. "Get off meeee."

Hyunjin shook his head and buried his head in your chest. You sighed, knowing you weren't going to be let go any time soon. You took off your glasses and set it by the bedside table before you let your head fall back into the pillow and thread your hands through his long locks. Hyunjin closed his eyes at the sensation, he always liked it when you played with his hair. He noticed you've been doing it a lot ever since he decided to let it grow out.

A contented sigh left your lips as you continue to run your fingers through his hair. College was hard but moments like this were a bliss to you, and you savour every second of it. Honestly, if you didn't had Hyunjin with you, you'd probably end up in a ditch somewhere dead for over studying. He makes sure you take a break and get at least five solid hours of sleep. You were grateful for him. 

Suddenly, Hyunjin shifted to settle under your chin, nestling his face at the crook of your neck.

"Hyunjin?" you softly called out. No response. You smiled to yourself. He had already fallen asleep and you could feel his steady breath against your skin. You slowly reach for the lamp with your free arm and switched it off. 

As darkness surrounded the both of you, you let yourself to be taken away to dream land and decide that your physics book could wait till tomorrow. It wasn't like the book will grow legs and run while you sleep anyways. 

Maybe the movies weren't exactly liars. College wasn't always hard and stressful. It had its stress-free moments that made you feel as free as a bird in the blue sky. And of course, with someone that loved you like Hyunjin, college doesn't seem as bad anymore. 

[yongiefilms]

TO BE A MAYBE.

pairing: lee jeno x reader

genre: fluff; childhood friends to lovers!au

warnings: swearing; mentions of heartbreak; a certain someone is an ass in this fic so i think that should count

word count: 1.5k

summary: you never pictured that it would take your ex-boyfriend walking back into your life for you to start seeing lee jeno as something more than your friend.

“What the actual fuck?” you exclaimed out of pure and utter disbelief. You were stunned to say the least and just couldn’t grasp the fact that he walked through the door. The boy you once loved with your whole heart, but now despised to the inner core of your being.

Lee Donghyuck.

He strolled into the small coffee shop at an hour past two, striding in with all his golden glory. His hair was still that light chestnut color, but it was longer with the lengthy locks falling right above his deep eyes. He was wearing that overly worn blue Hawaiian shirt that you recall telling him you hated even if you secretly preferred it because Hawaiian shirts looked good on him, with the two top buttons undone to showcase a little bit of his chest. His silver necklaces could be seen on full display underneath and they slightly glistened when the fluorescent lights caught hold of them. His jeans were his signature black ones that were ripped at the knees and his extended silver chain was hooped to his black belt that brushed against his right thigh when he moved. He also wore his old faded black converse that scuffed against the tiled floor and skidded to a halt when he arrived at the counter. He was smirking at the female employee, eyeing her up and down when she wasn’t looking as he recited his order of a medium mocha Frappuccino. You rolled your eyes, how classic of him.

You were glad he didn’t notice you huddled in the corner of the shop when he eyed the scene around him to check for an open spot to sit, but you couldn’t help the ache you felt in your chest.

“Hey Y/N, you alright?” a soft voice asked behind you, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You turned around to answer right when you saw Donghyuck settle down at the nearest table to the entrance to wait for his order to be called.

“Yeah Jeno, I’m fine.” You forced a smile onto your face to reassure him that you indeed meant your words. However, immediately after the statement came out your mouth, you couldn’t help but be drawn to twisting your body back to Donghyuck, like second nature. He always seemed to catch your attention even without trying. You still saw him in his seat, his eyes trained on his phone as his fingers mindlessly tapped against the screen.

As if sending what a nonsense of an answer you gave him, especially when you cursed ever so loudly a few minutes ago, Jeno followed your line of sight straight to the boy in question. You couldn’t see the way his eyes softened, but not out of pity or remorse. No, his eyes eased out of understanding. He knew you were struggling out of a suffering you didn’t want to admit and sensing that you needed some form of comfort, he reached over to place his hand on top of yours. You were startled by the heat that suddenly spread throughout your whole body at his simple touch. You felt tingles erupt from the top of your head to the soles of your feet and you could feel the loud beating in your chest. Your entire nature was affected because Lee Jeno, your sweet childhood friend directly made contact with your skin. You had to get ahold of yourself before he could evidently hear how rapid your heart was beating or see the embarrassment in your face. He wouldn’t point it out since he was too nice for his own good, but you still couldn’t let him see how he influenced you so drastically when you couldn’t even think of seeing him in the light of being something more to you.

After composing yourself and absentmindedly following the movements of Donghyuck as he rose up from his chair to proceed towards the counter to pick up his order, you forced your eyes away from your first love. It was over and there was no going back, why torture yourself further?

The smile that slipped onto your face when you turned to Jeno again was genuine and you were glad he didn’t offer any remarks of solace once he saw the other boy in the shop. He knew and his silence was enough. Your fingers curved up to intertwine with his own and you felt him give you a reassuring squeeze back. Things were effortless with Jeno. He knew what to do or say without ever truly voicing his opinions. His lucid gestures and gazes were enough. He made you feel safe, warm, and adored. Things you desired more than anything, especially during a time in your life when all you knew was torment from your broken soul, something that was still healing.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” A honey voice spoke out, jolting both you and Jeno in your seats. There, in front of your table stood Donghyuck with his medium mocha Frappuccino in one hand and his other fixed in his front pocket. “My ex-best friend and my-ex girlfriend together? Who would have thought this…” he gestured between your two intertwined hands with his eyebrows raised. “Would have happened after my departure from both of your lives.” He brought the straw up to his lips to take a sip. “It is surprising I must admit, but not unexpected. I always knew something was there even before I started dating Y/N. You just can’t control yourself, huh Jeno? Always going after what’s mine, even before we ever became best friends.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes and smirked in Jeno’s direction.

“Oh fuck off, Donghyuck,” Jeno uttered out abruptly, shocking both you and Donghyuck. Jeno never cursed no matter how much he was annoyed or angered. He never let his emotions get the best of him. He was the calm and leveled one, not the hot headed one. It indeed was astonishing to see him act out so publicly just because Donghyuck provoked him. This never happened before even when Donghyuck instigated him in the past. Why become irritable now?

“Getting bold are we? I must have hit a nerve. You wouldn’t have spoken out unless it was true,” Donghyuck snickered, making clear eye contact with Jeno as if he was challenging him.

It was now your opportunity to speak up. To defend yourself and most importantly the charming boy who had his hand entangled in yours.

“Shut the fuck up, Lee. Why are you bothering us? We are none of your concern anymore so get lost,” you sternly declared and glared up in his direction. He was still standing before you, his arrogance emitting very prominently, it was almost suffocating.

“My dearest Y/N, you wound me. Why can’t I be a good person and come over to say hi? Am I seriously that bad? Did I hurt you that much?” He pointed at himself and let his hand drop to his side as he mockingly laughed at you.

You gritted your teeth. “Screw you.”

You felt Jeno tighten his grip on your hand and give you a squeeze. Donghyuck’s eyes zoned in on the action and he scoffed.

“Just leave. Don’t make me tell you again.” Jeno harshly said and scowled at Donghyuck. He put his hands up and backed away from the table, but right when he did so his phone dinged. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket with his free hand and stared at the screen, chuckling at whatever notification appeared. He smugly glanced at the both of you, tilting his head as his hair fell over his eyes.

“Fine. I’ll leave, not because you told me to, but because I have somewhere to be.” He tucked his phone back into his pocket and took another taste of his drink. “I wish you the best of luck in your little fling you have going here. I would say relationship, but considering you both, especially Y/N’s trust problems, I say it won’t last long.”

You opened your mouth to retort, but you felt Jeno position his arm over your shoulders to hug you close to his body, stopping you from what you were going to say. He brought his head alongside yours and whispered in your ear. “He’s not worth it.”

Donghyuck’s snigger rang loud. You forgot he was still there as you never did see him go. “Yeah right.” He scoffed and shook his head. “Until we meet again.” He nodded at Jeno then gave a small, teasing wave to you and pivoted on his heels to finally depart, not opting to wait for a goodbye greeting from either of you, although you wouldn’t have given him one even if he asked. He didn’t deserve it, nor was he worthy to have your heart in the first place since all he would do was crush it with his bare hands.

So when you heard the ding of the shop’s bell and the slam of the door of what you presumed to be Donghyuck leaving, you knew that Jeno would still be there right next to you and would be the one to yet again, pick of the pieces of your ever recovering, fragile heart. He was your rock, your stronghold and maybe he could be your next love, just maybe.

[jalapeno-princess]

Broken-Hearted Girl

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 8.7K

Summary: After a petty argument escalates into Mark saying some things he didn’t mean, the two of you end up breaking up on your third anniversary. For the rest of the week, you find solace in your family and you learn how to live with a broken heart.

A/N: I don’t even remember how I stumbled upon this song but after listening to and falling in love with one of their other songs “Friend’s Don’t” by Maddie and Tae, I already knew I was going to like this one also. I recommend you listen to it while reading this imagine, the song really does tug on your heartstrings. I’ve been extremely busy for the last few weeks and so I wanted to put a hold on writing (even if just for a few days) but I’ve actually been staying up till the wee hours of the morning (I feel as if I might have insomnia but who knows) and I actually had a really bad mental breakdown earlier, so I needed something to help calm me down and take my mind off of my negative thoughts. Writing is my favorite escape from how cruel this world can be sometimes (although, my writing is literal shit haha) (and i really don’t care for how I ended this and I’m actually kind of unimpressed with this story) but I hope you guys enjoy it! (I have never been in a relationship before so I haven’t experienced the pain of a heartbreak (and I’m sure knowing my sensitive ass I would actually die)

Hey, mama, how do you get a red-wine stain Out of your favorite dress? Black mascara off a pillow case Cure a one-too-many headache Mama, can I come and maybe stay a few days? This weekend or next And hey, how do you get a red-wine stain Out of your favorite dress?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart?

This was not how tonight was supposed to end. Usually, anniversaries were meant to be extremely romantic. They were meant to celebrate the amount of time you’ve been in a relationship with your significant other and to relish in the love that you had for one another; yet here you were, storming out of your boyfriend—well, now ex-boyfriend’s truck towards your apartment with tears streaming down your face. 

You were too focused on getting inside and just collapsing to the ground that you couldn’t even remember how the night ended so terribly. Just a few hours ago, Mark picked you up with the intentions on surprising you for your third anniversary together. 

The two of you practically couldn’t even keep your eyes, let alone your hands off of each other to the point where Mark was just going to say fuck it and show you just how much he loved you and how happy he was to be able to call you the love of his life with his head between your thighs. However, things didn’t go as planned. 

In fact, you had a hard time processing that he told you he planned on spending the rest of his life with you just a few moments before the argument broke out. As soon as you unlocked the door and stumbled inside, you immediately sank to your knees and let out the most heartbreaking cry you didn’t think you were capable of. Not once in your life did you ever cry as much as you were right now. 

Sure, you’ve lost a few loved ones, failed a couple of very important tests here and there and sometimes you and Mark would watch some of the saddest movies every now and then but nothing ever hurt you as much as Mark’s last words did. 

My life would’ve been so much easier if you weren’t in it. 

Each word felt like a stab in your gut. At the time, you knew you said some things that you didn’t mean and that you were sure had a negative effect on him; but nothing you said was even half as bad as hearing him practically say he regrets your entire relationship. 

It made you overthink the last three years of being with him. Mark was in more or less words, the perfect boyfriend. He was quite the gentleman; he always held doors open for you, pushed you on the inside whenever you’d be walking on sidewalks, pulled out chairs for you, always asked how your day was going and if you were eating all your meals on time. 

He knew your coffee order by heart, he’d buy you cute little things he would see that he thought you would like and he even made you a few playlists of songs that reminded him of you. He took care of you as if you were the most delicate little dandelion; but that didn’t mean he wasn’t rough or dominant behind closed doors. 

Mark knew you like the back of his hand. Three years would do that to someone; he knew each and every mole, freckle, beauty and birthmark on your body. He was well aware of the scar on your knee that was shaped like Texas and how you got it from playing football with your cousins. If perfect was a person, it would be him. 

Everyone who knew of him wanted to be his friend. Mark was a social butterfly; he had a tendency to be friendly and kind to whoever he encountered. His golden heart, extremely kind and generous personality was got you to fall in love with him; on top of his indescribable good looks and charismatic charm. After knowing each other for over seven years, you’ve grown accustomed to having Mark in your life. 

Even before the two of you started dating, he was there for almost every milestone in your life. He was there when you got accepted in to the college of your dreams, he was there when you got an internship with a company you’ve been wanting for a long time, he was there for your first time getting drunk at the young age of 16 and he was the one to rub your back as you threw up the following morning. 

With that being said, he was also there during some of the darkest times in your life. When your grandmother passed away from cancer, it felt as if your entire world fell apart. She was your best friend and you were completely devastated as soon as your mom called you and told you the news of her passing. Mark was at baseball practice around the time that you were heading to the hospital, but once he heard of what happened, he wasted no time in making his way to where you were and pulled you in to his chest the moment his eyes landed on your frail figure. 

It took months of grieving, crying over her absence and Mark constantly whispering sweet words of comfort for you to come to terms with her death and you were entirely grateful that you had someone so patient and understanding as Mark was to be there for you during such a traumatic time. What was going to happen now when he was the reason why you were so distraught? 

Losing your grandmother was extremely painful and even after all these years, you weren’t completely over her death. However, knowing that man you loved more than life itself no longer wanted anything to do with you was a different kind of pain. Although there were a few times in your relationship that you and Mark would disagree, not once did a fight escalate this badly before. 

Your relationship was one that everyone around you seemed to envy. Everyone and their mothers knew just how much Mark loved you and it was obvious by your words and actions that you felt the exact same way. His mom always used to tell you that your love was one for the ages; you both cared for one another in ways that only people who were genuinely in love could experience. For two people who’ve been in a relationship for as long as you and Mark have, you were still in the so called “honeymoon stage” where you constantly had to be around each other even if all you did was laze around all day doing nearly nothing. 

Just being in his presence always made you feel so at ease; so serene. Home wasn’t necessarily a place you lived in or just a roof above your head. Home wasn’t just a place that gave you shelter; home was where you felt the safest, the most comfortable and home was where you were happiest. For the last seven years, Mark Tuan was your home and now, you were homeless. You always felt so protected and loved whenever you were around him and you hated every moment spent away from him. 

The more time you spent crying on the floor, the more you came to the realization that tonight’s events actually happened and Mark was no longer your person. Although neither of you actually called it quits, you knew by the tone of his voice and in his facial expression that it was over. Even if he were to come back to you within the week begging you for forgiveness, you don’t think you could ever forget how his words screwed you up mentally and physically. 

When you decided that you had cried all the tears you had in your body and that you were wasting your time crying over someone who couldn’t give less of a shit about you, you got up from your spot right in front of the door and slowly sauntered off in to the kitchen. Anyone who knew you were aware of the fact that you hated alcohol. 

You weren’t a heavy drinker, and you were sure it’s because you spent your teenage years getting high and wasted to the point where it was no longer fun to do now that it was legal. The bottle of red wine that was in the back of your cupboard was a gift from Mark’s friend Jackson for your birthday a couple of months ago and you didn’t want to seem rude by not accepting it since you didn’t care for red wine or just wine in general. 

But now, you were extremely grateful for his choice in gifts and you made it your responsibility to finish the entire bottle in one sitting before you went to sleep. That’s if you could even find it in yourself to even go to bed. Your mind was filled with thoughts of Mark and what he was doing right now; if he regretted what he said, if he knew you were currently suffering and beating yourself up about the argument. 

How could the two of you go from being seconds away to ripping each other’s clothes off, to you drinking imported red wine straight from the bottle to take your mind off of your broken heart? As you continued to drink the wine, it was in that moment of sitting on your kitchen floor and banging your head on your refrigerator that you noticed your front door had a dent in it. You wouldn’t be surprised if you were to go up to it and see that you broke it by how hard you slammed it out of anger, but at this point you didn’t even care. 

Your mind, your heart and your body were so numb that nothing else seemed to matter and if anything, the door represented your mental state and your relationship. Seeing as how you were the definition of a light weight, it didn’t take you long to completely knock out on the hard tile. Although that last sentence continued to replay over and over; taunting you as a painful reminder that you were living your actual nightmare, it was the fact that he gave up on you so easily as if you meant nothing to him that really killed you. 

Was he planning to breakup with you and used this argument to actually go along with it? How long ago did he decide he no longer wanted to be with you? Everything seemed to be going so good for the two of you; so when did he decide he had enough of your relationship? You weren’t surprised when you woke up the next morning with an extremely painful migraine and a crook in your neck. 

This is why you despised any type of alcohol and never understood why Mark and his friends constantly went out to bars whenever they hung out. However, you felt as if this was going to be your way to ease the pain and knowing that alone made you want to cry again. After taking a few moments to process what you were going to do for the rest of the day, you got up to take some pain killers and to look at your current state to see how much of a mess you probably were. 

Almost half an hour later, you found the strength to get up and walked to your bathroom. Your head was throbbing and your bones ached from sleeping on the floor, but nothing hurt even half as much as your heart did. As soon as you saw your reflection, you didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. You looked horrible. Your hair looked like a bird’s nest; tangled and all over the place. You had mascara stained on your cheeks, your eyes were puffy and if you weren’t so numb, you would’ve screamed at the wine stain in the dress you were wearing; your favorite dress to be exact. 

Mark bought you that dress a couple of months ago because he knew it would look good on you and he was right. The first time you wore it, it didn’t stay on for too long. It was your favorite dress for many reasons; not only did your boyfriend buy it for you, but as someone who was extremely insecure with her body, no matter how many times Mark would make it known how much he loved your body and thought you were the most beautiful and sexiest woman to exist, the dress made you feel beautiful. 

You wore this dress with so much confident but now, it was stained with a deep maroon color right around the chest area and it was a brief representation of the hell you were going through. Like the fool that you were, the fool who was madly in love with the person you wished you could hate right now, you checked your phone to see if he tried to get in touch with you at all and you felt your stomach sink when you saw nothing. 

No texts, no calls, no voicemails, no “I’m sorry, I made a mistake”, no “I love you” or “I miss you.” Couples went through breakups all the time so why did you feel pathetic for something you weren’t at fault for? The rest of the week felt like you were dreaming the same nightmare over and over again. You could still see the anger and rage in his eyes when he told you that you were annoying and that he wasted his night with you when he could’ve gone out with his friends. You were sure there was a chance he was with them right now and you didn’t care at all. 

If he was so quick to let you go without a care in the world, you weren’t going to allow yourself to cry over him no matter how much you wanted to. But you were only human. Three years may not be considered “a long relationship” and you were still kind of young to get married and settle down but you knew Mark was the man you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with. The two of you talked about your futures on multiple occasions and every time Mark would talk about his plans, you were in each one. 

On the fifth day, you came to terms with the idea that it was really over. You tried lying to yourself by thinking that he was going to come back and that he just needed some time to calm down, but you gave up on that idea entirely knowing how Mark could be. Two things about the older boy that you could do without was his pride and how stubborn he could be. 

He tried his best not to show you those sides of him because he didn’t want you thinking negatively of him or being afraid of him; however there were occasions where he would get in to it with one of his friends because he always had to have the last word. With that being said, you knew Mark wasn’t going to give in. He wasn’t going to initiate reconciling with you even if that’s what he wanted because that’s just who he was. 

A week away from work was what you needed to really try and get yourself together again. It wasn’t until your mom called asking how you were doing and if you and Mark wanted to stop by for dinner that you realized you weren’t okay nor were you ready to go out and put on a fake smile while pretending nothing was wrong. When your mom called you, you let her go to voicemail multiple times. 

Although your mom was your best friend and you probably needed someone to be there to comfort you during your heartbreak, you weren’t ready for pity or sympathy. The only person you needed was Jack Daniels. You hated what you had become in less than a weak and you hated that you allowed Mark to have this effect on you. It was only natural for you to be responding to your breakup in this way; you were only human. But you were now a pathetic alcoholic who was wasting her time crying over a man who was no longer in her life. 

Three shots of vodka, two beers and one shot of tequila later and you absentmindedly left a lengthy voicemail to your mom, telling her exactly what happened all the while begging her to let you stay at your parent’s house for a couple of days. Maybe even weeks. Deep down, you knew you needed to be around people no matter how much you enjoyed being alone because your mind always found away to think about Mark. 

You told her how Mark yanked out your heart and stepped on it repeatedly. You told her about getting drunk every single day for the last week, how much you hated him for what he was putting you through and how you hated that you were letting such a stupid boy control your emotions. You also asked her if your dad could come over on one of his days off to take a look at your door. She didn’t take long to respond back to you nor were you surprised when you heard her knocking on your door while she quickly pulled you in to her embrace once you opened it. 

“Oh yeah sweetheart, you really broke your poor door. Come here baby, mama’s got you.” 

She helped you bring your bags to the car and the two of you stayed in silence the entire ride to your parent’s house. You had a feeling she had a few questions she wanted to ask you and that there was a couple of things she wanted to say but you were glad that the only noise in her car was the sound of the air conditioner. You weren’t ready for any kind of human interaction or a conversation you knew would drive you even more crazy. 

All you wanted was for your mom to rock you back and forth like how she used to when you were younger and tell you that everything was going to be okay even if you lost all hope on it being so. When she pulled up to the garage, she told you to stay put so that she could help you get out of your car and you felt like such a child. Out of all your siblings, you were the closest one to your mom and even if you were an adult living on your own with a full time job and everything, you were always going to be her little girl. 

Seeing your child cry was always painful for a mother, but because the reason behind your sadness was something out of her control, she felt like she couldn’t do anything but console you and get you whatever you needed to try and make you feel better. Once you made it inside of the house, she led you to your old bedroom and let you get settled in so that she could prepare you something to eat. You didn’t have the heart to tell her you weren’t all that hungry; you haven’t had much of an appetite in the last week and you were sure she noticed your sudden weight loss. 

A part of you wanted to ask her to forget about it, especially because being in your old room brought back so many memories of Mark and how he would sneak in on school nights and how the two of you would stay up talking about anything your hearts desired. Being alone wasn’t something you’d think you’d ever get used to, especially because Mark was like your shadow. Wherever you went, Mark followed and unlike most people who would probably complain about his clinginess, you enjoyed it profusely. 

Knowing that Mark always craved your presence and needed to be around you to maintain his sanity made your heart flutter. This has been the longest you had to be without him and every day felt like an entire month. It’s as if time went by frustratingly slow because the universe was aware of your heartbreak and wanted to make you suffer for whatever reason you were unsure of. 

Taking a look around your old bedroom, you could feel your chest grow heavy when you saw the few pictures you had of you and Mark from when you were growing up and tears were soon building up at your eyes. The two of you looked so happy together; you were just a couple of kids who dreamt about so many wonderful things that life had to offer. Little did either of you know that one day, you would fall in love with one another before you could even comprehend the meaning behind that silly four letter word. 

You silently cursed to yourself for getting all worked up again; you came to your parent’s house as a way to heal on your own and to surround yourself with people who love you and care about your well-being. You just needed to have some kind of support system or else you’d drive yourself crazy back at your apartment thinking about what you could’ve done to have prevented the breakup from happening. The gentle knock on your door took you by surprise and you almost ended up dropping the frame. 

She released a long sigh before she walked over toward you and took the picture from out of your hands. The last thing your mom wanted to do was to make you even more upset by saying something to trigger you or cause you to overthink. But she couldn’t handle seeing you so broken; so defeated especially because you were an actual ray of sunshine. Your smile alone could light up an entire room and your personality was so bright and bubbly, people enjoyed your company because of your enthusiasm. 

As much as your mom liked Mark to the point where she would secretly plan out your future wedding with his mom whenever they’d go out to lunch together, she wanted to find him and make him regret what he did to her baby girl. She was shocked to say the least when she got your voicemail and at first, she couldn’t even understand what you were saying because your speech was so slurred and she couldn’t hear a word you were saying through your tears. Mark made it known to his surroundings that you were his entire world and all he cared about was making sure you were well taken cared of and that you were happy, healthy and got everything you deserved. You were so agitated just by seeing his photo and you wanted to scream. 

He was probably already over the entire thing and although it killed you to think like this, you couldn’t help but feel as if he was already looking for someone new. Why else would he have left you so easily? There must’ve been someone on the side but who were you kidding? That man planned an entire night out for you; to celebrate your life together. Your mind came up with all these different reasons for the breakup so you could get some closure but you weren’t stupid. You knew Mark loved you, you just couldn’t find a reason why he would tell you he regrets your relationship and wishes he never met you. 

You despised yourself for trusting Mark with your entire being; for allowing him to see each and every part of you. The good, the bad, the ugly. You hated that he was the only man you’ve ever loved with your entire physical, mental and spiritual being. You were upset with yourself for falling so hard for him and giving him the control to do such a thing to your heart. The feeling of being in your mom’s arms again after moving out almost two years ago was extremely comforting and very calming. 

She ran her fingers through your hair and continued to stay silent and waited until you stopped crying completely before telling you exactly what was on her mind. After your sobs slowly died down, she tapped on your forehead to get your attention. 

“Sweetheart, have I ever told you the story of when your father left me back when we were in college?” 

You shook your head in disagreement but widened your eyes in shock at her revelation. From what you were told, your parents were college sweethearts. Your dad fell in love with her when one of their mutual friends asked him to pick her up from work once and he was extremely grateful that their car was in the shop at that time or else he would have never met his soulmate. 

They’ve been together for over twenty years and not once have you heard this story, but now you were heavily interested. You always loved hearing stories about your parents relationship; it gave you high hopes for your own relationship and since you were going through a breakup right now, you could only hope the story would lift up your spirits. 

“We were together for only three months at the time and it was the first relationship I had where I genuinely cared for him. He was so kind, so flirtatious and used the cheesiest pickup lines to make me laugh. I knew he was going to be someone special in my life. Unfortunately, at the time your dad was the only one in his group of friends that was in a relationship. They told him that being in a relationship was “lame” and that he was still so young to be wasting his time being tied down to one girl. He tried to defend and fight for our relationship, but his friends continued to pester him over it, so he broke up with me. I was devastated, I cried for hours on end and couldn’t eat anything. But he showed up only three days later with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a bucket of fried chicken. He told me he loved me and refused to be without me. It was quire romantic if you ask me.” 

You giggled at the idea of your dad asking your mom to take him back with some Popeyes. You were upset to hear that your dad’s friends coerced him in to breaking up with her. However, you were happy to hear that it didn’t take too long for him to realize your mom was it for him.

“He’ll be back y/n. I know he will. That boy—he loves you. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, I can tell in his actions and with the way he looks at you that he’s head over heels in love with you. His mom also mentioned it a couple times; he’s—what is that word kids your age use these days? Whipped for you? She said he has stars in his eyes whenever you come up in conversation. It’s serious when a boy talks about you to his momma. One day when the two of you are married with a family of your own, you’ll look back on this little bump in the road and laugh—“

“Please don’t say that. You didn’t see the way he looked at me when he told me all of those hurtful things. It didn’t even feel like he was my boyfriend, it was as if I was looking at a stranger. It makes me wonder, did he ever really love me if he had no problem leaving me?”

“I’m serious y/n. I don’t know what things were said that night or how things ended up the way they did, but when it’s real, when it’s love, you just know. He probably looks just as bad and if not worse than you do. I know it hurts. Breakups are rough, especially because it’s obvious you and Mark were made for one another. But what have I always told you? If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it’s yours forever and if it doesn’t, well baby, it just simply wasn’t meant to be. He was probably just in the heat of the moment and said some things he probably didn’t mean. I’m sure he’s regretting this entire thing. Mark’s a smart boy; if he knows what’s best for him, he’ll be yours again in no time. Until then, get out of this funk y/n. There’s so many wonderful things in the world to do and to be grateful for. Do you really want to look back on your twenties and regret wasting your time crying over a boy when you could be doing so many different activities and go on so many adventures?”

You released a frustrated sigh and shook your head again. She was right. You were tired of crying and drinking so much. There was only so much alcohol your body could handle and it wasn’t worth all the hangovers. 

“Maybe we should tell your dad what happened so he can mess around with him a little bit and teach him a lesson.”

The idea and the way your mom said it made you let out a genuine laugh. Your parents were always so protective over you and it was probably because you were so kind-hearted that people tended to take advantage of how polite you could be. However, even if she meant it as a joke, you were nervous at what your dad would do if he found out about what Mark said to you and how the breakup was slowly killing you. You were a daddy’s girl and your dad never failed to do anything to make you smile; even if it meant scaring your ex-boyfriend which you knew you didn’t want him doing. 

Your mom stayed with you for a few hours until it was timed for her to make dinner and you ended up falling asleep because of how mentally exhausted you were. No matter how much your mom loved it whenever you stayed over, she didn’t want you to get used to running away from your problems and hiding when things got too difficult. She wanted you to learn to live without him on your own. Your mom knew that you were going to be okay. Maybe not right now, but one day you would heal from this entire situation and realize that your breakup was a learning experience. 

Plus, you had to return back to work sooner or later or you would lose your job completely. A cloud of sadness came once your dad pulled up to your apartment complex and they offered to walk you to your door but you weren’t sure if you’d allow them to leave if they did. They both pulled you in for hugs as they said their goodbyes and you actually cried as you watched them drive away. Why did life have to be so complicated? You were so unhappy to the point where you thought you would actually die from a broken heart. 

The aspect of dying from a broken heart was extremely devastating; you’ve heard about it on multiple occasions. It was normal for people to be so sad, so distraught and have no energy or motivation to do anything. They wouldn’t eat, sleep and only spend most of their days crying out what was left of their hearts. You didn’t think going through a breakup would cause this much damage to you and your well-being; but contrary to what your mom told you, Mark wasn’t just any boy. He was the owner of your heart and you understood that he could torment you like this because you allowed him to. 

You stopped by the mailbox to see if you got anything before heading up to your apartment. When your parents were driving you back to your place, you decided that you would actually get up and do something today. Whether it was tidying up your place from how messy it had become from your one too many drunken stupors, or going to the cleaners to get that wine stain out of your dress. As you began to approach your unit, you noticed there was something sitting right in front of your door. 

The closer you got, you realized that it wasn’t just something, it was someone. Your heart felt as if it was about to jump out of your chest when you realized exactly who the person was slumped up against the wall. It was exactly a week since your fight and you weren’t sure if it was what your mom had said about your love and how beautiful it was, or because you were miserable without him but you wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and beg him to come back to you. 

You expected to be angry if you were to see him again because of all the trauma you suffered through; yet seeing him tugged on your heartstrings and it was as if you pushed the entirety of the last week to the back of your mind. When Mark heard footsteps coming towards him and he looked up to see who it was, he had to hold himself back from running towards you. Your mom was right, just like she normally was. 

This week was one of the worst weeks of his entire life. He was suffering without you. He never hated himself more than he did when he said all those things and he hated himself even more for not running after you as soon as those spiteful words fell from his mouth. You were the best thing that has ever happened to him, and if things were to end up differently that night, he would’ve been able to show you exactly what you meant to him in more ways than one. 

He wanted to call you, to text you and to tell you how stupid he was and how he didn’t mean a single word that he said to you but words were never his forte. Nor did he want to give up his pride even if it meant preventing this last week from ever happening. It was all his fault, or so he kept telling himself and he couldn’t go one more day without you in his life. It was too much for his heart to withstand. 

He was going to do everything in his power to get you to forgive him, even if it meant having to stay away from you for a little while longer for you to completely heal from this experience. As soon as he drove away from your apartment that night, he knew he fucked up and accidentally punched a hole in his wall out of anger. He was so selfish; so insensitive and didn’t think that his harsh words would have any negative effect on you. 

After hearing your little jabs at him, he wanted to hit you where it hurt the most but if he knew then what he knew now, he would’ve kept his mouth shut and just dropped you home so that you both could calm down and not say everything you both said to one another. You let out a deep breath and tried to prepare your heart to hear why he was there and to be ready to fight if the situation called for it. 

“Hey.” 

You looked up at him and you could feel tears brimming at your eyelids. He looked so tired and you knew for a fact that he must’ve cried with how his eyes practically mirrored the puffiness of yours. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent and his face looked smaller than it already was. It made you cringe; Mark was never one to portray himself as someone weak or someone who had feelings and emoted whenever something was up with him. If he had a problem, he’d deal with it on his own and this was no different. 

Good. He deserved to have suffered as much as you did. 

“Hi. How long have you been here for?” He shrugged before scratching the back of his head; something he normally did when he felt like he was in the wrong or whenever he was embarrassed and you took it as the former. 

“Um—since Wednesday I think.” 

Your eyes widened in shock at his answer. Wednesday? So that means he was sitting outside of your apartment for the last three days? 

“Wait, you’ve been here for three days? Are you crazy? Mark, you could’ve gotten sick! It’s cold out here! And what about food? Have you even been eating? You look so malnourished, why would you—“

“You and I both know why. I fucked up. Big time. It took me a while to think about it at this perspective because I was just so mad and I wanted to blame you for the way things ended that night but I came to the conclusion that this was my fault. I’m the one who fucked up something so amazing, so beautiful and so perfect because I was a fucking asshole y/n and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” 

In order to prevent wandering eyes of your neighbors, you opened the door and motioned for him to walk inside so that the two of you could have your privacy. 

“Shit y/n, what happened to your door? You have to practically force it open—“

“You don’t want to know. My dad is supposed to come over this weekend to try and fix it. I think the hinges must’ve came out or something. Can I get you something to eat? Drink?” 

He shook his head and you could see in your peripheral vision that he was hesitatingly reaching out for your hand, probably in attempts to bring you to the couch so he could continue the conversation from where the two of you began from but he just walked over to the living room and took a seat. You wanted to hear everything he had to say and you were going to make it a point to let him know what this breakup did to you. 

His focus was on the multiple empty bottles of alcohol sitting on your coffee table and because he was well aware of how much you hated alcohol, it was apparent that you must’ve had it really rough if you felt the need to turn to alcohol for solace. When he felt like he was ready to talk, he turned around to face you and released an exasperated sigh. 

“I’m sorry it took so long to come here—oh, these are for you. I actually had to go back to the store because the first two bouquets actually died probably because they weren’t being watered and I bought your favorite cookies—but I got hungry so there’s only three left.” 

He handed you the beautiful bouquet of sunflowers and you giggled at the sight of only three cookies in a big container but it made you smile nonetheless. 

How romantic. 

You politely thanked him and placed both of the gifts down on the table before speaking up. 

“You should’ve called me, I wouldn’t allow you to have waited out here for me. Are you crazy Mark? What if something happened to you—“

“Then so be it. I’d probably deserve it. Fuck, you don’t understand how much of a mess I was without you and how much I’ve been suffering because the image of your pained face would not leave my mind once this entire weekend. I had a feeling you weren’t home when you weren’t answering the door but then again, you could’ve looked through the peephole and decided you wanted nothing to do with me and I wouldn’t have blamed you. The old lady next door was kind enough to offer me some food here and there but I’m sure she probably thought I was a thief or something when she first saw me. I should’ve called but you and I both know why I didn’t. I kinda wanted to give you your space because I’m sure what I said probably got under your skin. I ruined our special day and I’m sorry if I broke your heart—with the way you’re looking at me I’m sure I hurt you pretty badly huh.” 

You looked up at him with a melancholic look in your eyes; that had to be the understatement of the year. If you didn’t have your family around to help you take your mind off of your failed relationship, you were sure you would have ended up in the hospital sooner or later. 

“You broke me Mark. You made me feel like I was worthless. You made me think there was someone else or that you fell out of love with me and I genuinely wanted to die. Pathetic right? I just—I didn’t know how to function without you and waking up every morning felt like a chore. At some points I felt like I couldn’t even breathe. I’ve heard heartbreaks caused by breakups were an unfathomable pain that are impossible to bounce back from and some people even die from a broken heart I just never would’ve thought it would happen to me. Especially because we were so happy; so in love and I would have never thought one stupid, meaningless argument could cause us to separate. You made it seem like leaving me was so easy and hearing that you wished that we never dated in the first place is what truly fucked me over. I became a fucking alcoholic because of you—I blamed the entire breakup on myself even if I didn’t say anything that I knew would inflict any sort of pain to you because the idea of hurting you hurts me. It’s sad to know you don’t feel that way.”

“That’s where you’re wrong y/n. I regretted everything that I said as soon as I said them but the damage was already done. Please believe me when I say this, I didn’t mean a fucking word. That was just the anger and the irritation talking for me. My life before you always felt so empty, and once you came in to it, you made everything so much better. You filled my life with color and made my heart soar by just the mere thought of you. I could never regret you or our relationship; you’re all I could ever want or need in this hell forsaken world. You know the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you—“

“BUT YOU DID MARK.” 

You didn’t mean to yell, but it was all the built up emotions you’ve been holding in that finally released itself and you knew you wouldn’t be able to forget the way he shivered at your tone. Not once in the many years of knowing you did Mark ever see you so mad. You were always such a shy and introverted person; he didn’t think you were capable of such an intonation. He hated that he was the reason for your hostility and he was afraid that it was too late. It may have only been a week, but what you went through was enough to change your warm-hearted personality in to a cold and aggressive one. 

“Nothing will ever change the fact that you gave up on us—on me. If you knew there was a chance that your words would affect me the way that they did, then you wouldn’t have said anything at all; but you said it all without hesitation like you did mean it. I was coming to accept our breakup for what it was. Sure I was hoping you would come back; hell this is the closest I ever felt to God because I found myself praying every single day for him to show me a sign. For him to heal me and make it known that I would be okay. I’d be lying if I said I’m not the least bit content that you’re here but—I really don’t know what to make of that.” 

To your surprise, he made his way toward you and reached for your hands. As intimidated he was by how you were acting towards him, he knew he had to grow some balls and man up, or he would lose you forever and the tiny box that was in his pocket would no longer have any use. 

“I don’t know what to say or do that would explain how sorry I am and how much I wish I could go back in time and prevent any of this from happening. I don’t know how to stop you from hurting, and to get you to forgive me—I‘ll do anything to fix this y/n. Please—tell me what to do. I can’t—I can’t lose you. Tell me you don’t love me, and then I’ll—I’ll—fuck, there’s no way I can let you go. Please baby—you asked God for a sign and I came here tonight to try and fix my mistakes. That has to mean something right?” 

Hearing him sound so desperate, so willing to do whatever you wanted him to in order to bring your relationship back to what it was made you feel so many emotions. As much as you wanted him to give you some time to think, you knew you’d take him back. It was going to take some time to forgive him, and to get his words out of your mind completely, but Mark was everything you ever wanted for the rest of your life. 

Why were you going to continue suffering on your own and staying away from him when all you wanted was to have him back in your life? You cupped his cheek softly with your palm and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. Feeling him smile against your lips sent a fire through your veins; Mark’s kisses always had quite the effect on you. His lips were so pink and so pretty and you loved every single moment that they were pressed against yours. 

“You can start by paying for my dry cleaning. I got a huge wine stain on the dress I was wearing because I got drunk.” He giggled in to your neck before placing a chaste kiss there. 

“Done. You silly girl. God, I missed you so much baby. I also think I have something that could win me some brownie points but I hope tonight ends the way last week should have.” 

The question of what he was referring to was at the tip of your tongue, but before you could emit anything, he was now kneeling on the ground right in front of you and pulled out a red box. Your heart began to race on a you put two and two together; he was going to propose to you. 

“I know, this is probably not how you wanted this to happen and I promise you I had different ways in mind on doing this—but after losing you, I realized that it didn’t matter how, where or when I would ask you to spend the rest of your life with me; all that matters is that I did. I was actually planning on proposing you at the beach once we were finished eating, but I chickened out like the coward that I am. And I guess I was irritated with myself and took it out on you that night and I know I said it so many times, but I will continue apologizing until I make up for all the pain I’ve put you through. I’m sorry y/n. I don’t deserve you—I don’t deserve being able to do this right now but this last week without you made me realize that I can’t live if I have to do it without you.” 

He grazed your wrist with his thumb and you were sure he did that to calm down his nerves, but it was so cute. You loved seeing him so flustered and so nervous and you loved knowing that you were the reason behind his now shy demeanor. 

“I’ve been in love with you for longer than I can remember. Every time I would drop you back home once we hung out back in high school, I felt this emptiness in my chest. Then I realized how much I loved hearing you laugh knowing that I was the reason behind it. I loved spending time with you and being around you. I loved the feeling I got whenever we were together. You and I can literally do nothing but I’m my happiest when I’m with you and that’s when I realized you were more than just a friend to me. These last few years with you have made me the happiest man alive. You mean everything to me baby—I wish I would’ve told you this sooner so we wouldn’t have wasted time apart but I’ll make up for it the rest of my life—if you let me of course. I’ll take good care of you my love. I’ll continue to love you and give you the world on a silver platter. Y/n, will you do me the greatest honor and marry me?” 

You were sure if someone else were in your shoes, they probably would’ve said no right off the bat. Heartbreak really did change a person. It made your whole aspect on life change for the worse and you knew you weren’t the same person you were a week ago. But you’ve dreamt about this situation on many accounts. There were times where you’d sleep over Mark’s place and you’d stay up looking at him in admiration and thinking about what your future together would look like. 

Sure, you would have preferred this surprise before all the unfortunate events that happened, but you were excited and speechless nonetheless. You sank to your knees and sat down on his lap; bringing your hands up to his face and pulling his lips up to yours. You couldn’t help the snicker that fell from the back of your throat when you felt a tear fall from his eyes on to your cheek. His hands were tight on your waist as he deepened the kiss, licking and sucking on your lips before all but gently shoving his tongue in between your teeth. When you felt his excitement pressing against your core, you pulled away and ignored the choked out whine that fell from his lips as you placed your forehead against his. 

“Yes. I would love to marry you Mark. I love you so much, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Thank you for coming back to me love.” 

The way he was looking up at you pulled on your heartstrings; you couldn’t wait to tell your mom of the news. You knew she would probably hit you with “I told you so” but she would also be extremely happy for you. He abruptly stood up and took you with him, wrapping your thighs around his waist. You knew exactly what his plans were as he made his way to your room and you were excited to say the least at what he was going to do with you.

Once the two of you entered the bedroom, he didn’t waste anytime throwing you on to the bed and attacking your face with kisses as he ran his hands along your body; needing to touch you everywhere. Right as he began dragging his fingers along your clothed heat, he gripped at your chin and made sure you were making direct eye contact with him. 

“You know, since your door is already broken, I don’t see any problem in breaking your bed also—ow! What? You’re going to be my wife one day soon, so it’s only natural for me to want to fuck the living shit out of you in celebration of our engagement—I’m actually starting to reconsider this whole marriage thing. Give me back that ring, I’m gonna go sell it and buy me the PS5–“

“You wouldn’t dare Tuan, I’ll end you—“

“Just shut up and let me love you damnit.” 

You couldn’t stop the laughter that came after his little complaint. You still had yet to process that Mark was currently on top of you, ready to make love to you and to show you just how much he missed you. He playfully poked your cheek to break you out of your trance and squeezed your butt as a force of habit. 

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“I’m just really happy, that’s all.”

 He gave you his signature cheeky grin and left a long, sloppy kiss on your lips. 

“Good. That makes the two of us, and that’s the only emotion you’re going to feel now that you’re stuck with me. Now, let’s make up for lost time shall we?”

Can you ask daddy if he's got time To come and look at my front door? It got slammed last night And now it don't close right And just promise that you won't tell him everything And keep that pistol in the drawer Mama, please don't say I'm gonna laugh about this someday You didn't see the way he drove away

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart? Oh, a broken heart

Can your knees give out from prayin' so hard? (Prayin' so hard) Can you go blind from cryin' in the dark? (In the dark) Was it ever really real If he don't feel like I feel?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart? A broken heart

[jawritter]

You and Me...

Chapter 11

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non-con, male!rape, injury, violence, description of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, implied female non-con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!Jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chapter Warnings*** Talk of nightmares/night terrors, light description of injury, language, I think that’s pretty much it for this chapter.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jared x Reader

Word Count: 1777

A/N: Anyway, all mistakes are mine, please don’t copy my work, Feedback is golden. If you want to be added to the series tag list, or my tag list just let me know! I hope you enjoy this one. This is something I actually did and witness, and I realize this one might be hard to read because it is a little heavy.

Summary: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter your course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getting through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

It had been roughly two weeks since Jensen was released from the hospital. 

Physically he's doing a lot better. 

He gets around pretty good now, normally even. It would be hard for anyone on the street to see that there was ever anything wrong with him when he walked by you. He'd become pretty self-sufficient pretty quickly. The bruises had mostly faded, only leaving the worst ones still a sickening yellow color. Most of the scratches and lacerations on his body had healed or were almost healed. Most of his strength returned to him. 

On the outside, he looked fine, but it wasn’t the outside that had become the problem. As much as he tried to hide it. Even though the physical aspect of his attack had almost faded completely, it was the battle of the mind that was beginning now. 

When you looked into his eyes something was still dead in there. 

You learned pretty quickly that Jensen had a pretty passive-aggressive way of dealing with things. It was just what he hid behind, and you knew that, but still, it didn't lessen your concern for him.

You noticed him drinking more, and you were afraid that would become a very unhealthy coping mechanism.

The nightmares had gotten worse. 

To be honest you would have characterized them as night terrors. Except they didn't just happen at night. You had learned just from watching him that these “flashbacks” could be triggered by a sound, or a smell, or even something someone says. 

It wasn't something he could control.

He had started to go to his own house during the day some, but at night he always ended up right back with you. You were secretly glad. You didn't like the thought of his nightmares starting, and him beginning there all alone. Most of the time when he had one he’d either wake up violently ill or hysterical, there was no in-between. 

He had taken his kids to the local zoo with Jared the other day on one of his visitation days with his kids. Because of his usual nightly problems he thought it was best that they didn't stay the night with him. Not something you really want you kids to see.

He had been back to the studio, using it you think as a distraction. That's not uncommon though, people use music all the time as an escape from reality. 

The only good thing that had happened really over the past two weeks was that you had gotten a contract writing for a local publishing company reviewing transcripts, and technically you could work full time from home now. You did tell Steve and Jensen that you would finish Jensen's project through before you left. You were there when he started it, and you wanted to see the finished product.

This morning started much like all other mornings since Jensen had moved in with you.

You were sitting in the living room drinking your coffee. It was still very, very early. It was the weekend, so neither yourself nor Jensen had to work today. Still, your body is used to waking up so early, it had developed its own alarm clock. Therefore you were up at 5 am regardless of what you did or how late you went to bed.

Jensen was still sleeping soundly in the room the two of you now awkwardly, kinda shared. You were honestly afraid to touch him. Afraid it would trigger one of his flashbacks. So you slept as far away from him as you could in your king-sized bed, usually putting a pillow between the two of you so that you wouldn't accidentally roll over to him in the middle of the night.

It wasn't that you didn't want to be close to him. You wanted nothing more than to feel his arms wrapped around you as you slept, but you were pretty sure that he was not capable of doing that. He had told you in the hospital that there were some things that he wouldn't be able to do. Physical contact was one of them.

Not thinking about what you were doing a day after he moved in with you, you walked up behind him when he was standing at the sink and put your hand on his shoulder, throwing him into a violent flashback, that took almost an hour for him to come back from. That’s when you learned touching him probably wasn’t the best idea.

Sometimes he would reach over and grab your hand when the nightmares were really bad, he would let you sit next to him and run your fingers through his hair until he went back to sleep, other than that though that was it.

You were sitting lost in thought, the house pretty much dark, only the light from above the stove lightly lit the room. When your phone lit up next to you. It was Jared.

"Hello?" you say quietly careful not to wake up Jensen. 

"Y/N? I didn't wake you did I?" he asked.

 "No, I've been up," you tell, him running your hand down your face. Wondering why in the hell he was calling this early.

"Okay listen they caught Jensen's attackers. There were four of them... Plus Jennifer," 

That last part struck you hard. 

"Jennifer? Really? Are they sure?" you asked, shock radiating through your body. 

"Yeah. She was there through all of it according to her confession. Apparently, she gets her kicks off watching Jensen being raped and tortured, claiming that he owed her that much after what he did to her, when, come to find out the whole thing was a set up from the beginning. She thought she’d go on a date with him, get him drunk, maybe fuck him, get some side cash, and leave, but apparently, things didn't go the way she planned, and she got her family involved to “pay him back” for what the did to her." Jared Said through gritted teeth.

Your stomach churned. You didn't like talking about what they did to Jensen. Your heart just couldn't handle it. Especially seeing the reproductions that he was still dealing with from the whole ordeal. 

"Did they all confess?" you asked, hoping and praying Jensen wasn't going to have to testify in front of a room full of strangers plus his attackers.

"Yeah, they all confessed. From what I understand there was so much evidence from the pictures that the hospital had taken, plus the doctor's reports, and DNA evidence that they really had no choice but to confess," he said, sounding just as sick about all of this as you were. 

"He's not gonna have to testify will he?" you asked, holding your breath. 

"No, not unless he just wants to confront them. Which I doubt he does. These perverts are going to jail for a very long time. The amount of evidence against them is overwhelming, and the police believe this isn't the first time they’ve done this to someone," Jared said.

It made you sick to think about there being monsters like this out there in the real world. People like Jennifer, who you’d never expect to be involved in something like this.

“Thanks for letting me know Jared, now I just have to figure out how to tell Jensen.”

“You can do it Y/N, he trusts you,” Jared said.

With that, the two of you got off the phone. Jensen would be waking up soon as you wanted to have this breakfast ready like you did every morning. You didn't know how you were going to tell him that they had caught his attackers. You hated even bringing up his situation with him. He would get so distant and quiet.

Not fifteen minutes later you heard the bedroom door open and Jensen made his way over to the small bar and sat down. You knew he had because you heard the chair slide across the tile. Your back was to him plating up his breakfast. When you turned around what you saw nearly made you drop the plate.

He was sitting there, pale, and crying silently; looking at his hands that were shaking on the bar. You sat the plate down and carefully walked over to him, surprisingly he reached for you. You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him tightly to you. The two of you sat like that for the longest time before he finally spoke.

"I'm not well," was all he said, so quiet that you barely even heard him. 

"What hurts? Are you sick?" you asked. Immediately thinking it had something to do with his physical injuries.

"No, not that," he said, then pointed at his head. "I'm not well." 

That made your heart sink. This was the first time he’d admitted that he was struggling, even though you knew that he was, and honestly it scared you.

Had he gotten worse? 

You had been trying to figure out a good time to bring up seeing a therapist, now seemed like a good time as any. 

"Maybe we should make that appointment with that therapist that your doctor suggested to you," you suggested gently, afraid he would get angry.

"Will you come with me?" was all his said, no more fight in him at all. 

"Yeah, I'll be there the whole time. Remember what I said in the hospital. We're gonna get through this. You and Me."

Jensen nodded his head and buried his face in your neck, wet tears streaking down his face, and onto your skin made your heart feel like it just wanted to stop beating. 

You knew that suggesting a therapist may sound harsh to some people, but there was no manual on how to deal with something like it. No material to read to figure out a normal healing process, especially for man, and there was no way to know that you were doing this right or wrong, 

All you could do was make small steps together, in hopes that you were both stumbling in the right direction in getting him better, and right now you had to go with what logically could help him, and maybe someone who was trained to deal with this sort of trauma. 

Even though you knew this was probably going to be one of the hardest things Jensen ever had to do, he couldn’t keep all this bottled up, he needed a safe space, and a trained professional to help him.

Squeezing him as tight to you as you could you tried your best to ground him in this mess that he was going through, you promised you’d be right there with him, and you were going to keep that promise, no matter what you’d do it together.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[drawlfoy]

Defense Against Your Inability to Respect Curfew

pairing: draco x goldentriofriend!reader

warnings: just draco being possessive i guess. also mild mild mild torture i guess, umbridge’s detention punishment is mentioned

request: yes! thanks anon!

summary: reader is friends with golden trio and draco decides to mess with her, then realizes he’s gone too far and realizes that he’s just jealous

a/n: i always have difficulties writing stories like these ones because as the author, you walk such a fine line between making possessiveness cute and making it controlling and abusive, so i apologize if this fic isn’t as brash as other jealousy centered ones. i’m gonna try and keep it a little more vanilla than the way the usual fics treat this kinda thing. possessive bfs in real life suck ass if they get too controlling lol also i put the reader in Slytherin, i apologize if the person who requested this wanted it some other way!

word count: 1,673

Y/N’s least favorite class was Defense Against the Dark Arts, by far. In all of her other classes, she was at least with her Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff friends. However, DADA was her only class shared with the Gryffindors, something she had mixed feelings about.

She never really felt like she fit in with her fellow Slytherins--they were all so judgmental, and since she was muggleborn, stuff was even worse for her. For the most part, the goons of Slytherin left her to her own devices, something she was generally thankful about, but she was lonely.

And then there was the fierce rivalry between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins, something that made DADA even worse. She had yet to make any friends in that class as everyone from the other house just assumed that she was prejudiced. No one ever asked what her blood status really was--after seeing her green tie, they decided they could deduce the answer for themselves.

In a stroke of luck one day, Neville Longbottom was reprimanded for goofing off too much with his table, and Umbridge “asked” him to switch places with Y/N, allowing her to free herself of Draco Malfoy’s constant criticism. She gratefully accepted the switch, moving her items and settling in next to Harry Potter and the rest of his friends. 

That was all it took. Within one afternoon, Y/N made quick friends with the Golden Trio and the rest was history. Suddenly she was sitting at the Gryffindor table for meals, laughing with them in the halls during break, and even sneaking into their common room to spend the night with Hermione and Ginny on weekends.

Life was good, but as time went on and she grew closer to the group, she began to notice a certain blond paying more attention to her. 

Draco Malfoy had hardly given her the time of day when she was next to him in DADA, something she didn’t mind all that much. Before she had started eating with the Gryffindors, Y/N often found herself sitting to Draco’s right, but he rarely acknowledged her apart from the occasional shy smile and nod. 

But one late Friday night, all that changed. She was quietly sneaking out of the Gryffindor common room after playing a very competitive game of Monopoly with Ron and the twins, conscious of the fact that she was way past curfew. She had heard of the new inquisitorial squad created to assist Umbridge, but she had never been caught by them on all her midnight escapades and assumed her lucky would hold up,

Quick spoiler: it didn’t. 

She was lucky enough to make it back to her own common room, but she wasn’t alone. A figure sat in an armchair near a dying fire, twirling a wand around his fingers.

“Y/L/N.” 

Y/N jumped at the sound of Malfoy’s drawled words.

“How nice of you to finally return to your own house,” he began, eyeing his wand. He had stopped spinning it now.

“I’m sorry,” she responded. “I fell asleep in the library studying for-”

“You seriously expect me to believe that?” Malfoy cut in. “You think I haven’t noticed where you’ve been?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she pushed back. The Slytherin part of her knew that playing dumb was the only feasible option. 

“Oh, I think you do.” He turned to face her, his eyes ablaze with the reflection of the fire. “You know exactly what I’m referring to. There’s nothing stopping me from hauling you down to Umbridge’s office right now,”

Y/N froze. Of course. She’d completely forgotten that he was part of Umbitch’s prized squad.

“There’s no proof,” Y/N shot back. “And I’m going to bed. I bet she’d like to know how you found me outside, after curfew, when it wasn’t even your shift.”

She firmly set her jaw before turning on her heel and retreating to her room. 

Next time, I’ll just sleep over she promised herself.

♥♥♥♥

Unfortunately, “next time” came much sooner than expected. Hermione refused to let her sleep over the next Saturday under the guise that she had to get up early the next morning and didn’t want to wake Y/N, someone who always slept incredibly late. Y/N argued and pleaded with Hermione, but she wouldn’t budge.

“I’m so sorry,” she had told her, ushering her out of the common room. “I swear I wouldn’t do this unless I really had to. But you’re lucky, and you haven’t been caught yet, and you’re slick, so you won’t get caught.”

They’d bade each other goodnight, and Y/N was off into the night.

She’d made no more than 2 meters before she heard someone clear their throat. Spinning around, she was horrified to see the sight of Malfoy leaning up against the wall.

“Isn’t this interesting?” He noted. “It’s funny, I remember the library being somewhere other than the Gryffindor common room.”

It’s a shame he’s such a git. He’d be pretty hot if he wasn’t so annoying Y/N thought to herself. 

“Ah, you caught me,” she said, throwing her hands up. “What are you doing out here, though?”

Malfoy puffed his chest up and pointed at the badge on his robes. 

“I requested for my shifts to be extended a little later. I’m not sure if you noticed,” he shifted his weight from one leg to the other in a rather dramatic gesture, “but I’m on the job. Come on now, Umbridge is in her office and I’m sure she’d love to talk.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped. Malfoy was really going to do this to his own housemate?

“You can’t be serious.”

“You’re not invincible, no matter what house you’re in. However, I might’ve given you more leniency if you actually acted like a Slytherin instead of a wannabe Gryffindor.” His remarks stung more than the cold air did.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Come along.”

Malfoy seized Y/N’s arm, dragging her down to the horrid pink office that she’d heard so many horror stories of. Harry had told her how her punishments were rather unorthodox but didn’t go into any more detail. Regardless, she was going to learn what they really were.

“You have no semblance of house pride,” Malfoy hissed at her halfway through the walk. “Hanging out with the Weasel? And Granger? And god forbid, Potter? Are you insane?”

“Maybe I like being around people who don’t care about my blood status!” Y/N countered. “I’ve grown to love them more in two weeks than I’ve loved Slytherin in 5 years!”

“Why don’t you tell that to Umbridge?” They’d reached the office door.

“Ladies first.”

Y/N rolled her eyes to hide her fear. Umbridge was apparently horrible any time of day, but she couldn’t imagine how much worse she’d be if she had to wake the demon lady up in the middle of the night. 

Thankfully, the pink monstrosity was awake and doing paperwork at her ugly desk. 

“Caught her lurking around the Gryffindor dorms,” Malfoy reported, pushing Y/N into a chair at a desk. 

“Thank you, Mr. Malfoy,” Umbridge responded. “You can stay and watch, if you’d like.”

“Really?” Malfoy sounded...pleasantly surprised. 

The little sociopath.

“But Professor, you don’t let anyone stay--”

“Well, I think you’re an exceptional example of what the squad ought to be like,” Umbridge told him. “You get to enjoy the fruits of your labor.”

What the...fuck? This was a whole different world of fucked up. What the fuck??? 

“Here you are, Ms....Y/L/N, is it?” Umbridge tossed a quill and piece of parchment paper to her and grossly mispronounced her last name. Y/N didn’t bother to correct her. “Write ‘I shall respect curfew” 50 times. I’ll be watching.”

“That’s it?” Y/N was shocked at the vanilla punishment. This was, like, muggle punishment. “Can I have some ink as well?”

Umbridge glared at her. 

“You won’t be needing it. Just write.”

Y/N shrugged and began to write on the parchment. Within onds, a searing pain ripped through her hand and she gasped.

Umbridge was right about not needing ink--she had been so stupid. This was a black quill! How could Y/N have been so stupid?

A faint scratch of “I shall respect curfew” appeared on her hand, just barely breaking the skin. A matching sentence appeared on her parchment, glowing a vibrant blood red. 

Oh, no. 50 times?

She began writing as quick as she possibly could, trying to ignore the burning pain on her right hand. She was always sensitive to blood--something that she couldn’t change, no matter how hard she tried. If she saw too much of it, especially if it was hers, she’d pass out. 

10 down, 40 to go.

Her hand was shaking and tears were running down her face as she fought to keep consciousness. She hadn’t seen this much of her own blood in so long, not since she accidentally nicked her finger on a knife in potions last spring. Every stroke of the quill ripped deeper into her hand, and while the words healed up seconds after writing them, the next time hurt even more. 

Y/N kept at it for almost an hour, eventually hitting her last phrase and flinging the objects at Umbridge. 

“Goodnight,” Y/N mumbled before finally collapsing on the ground next to the desk. The last thing she saw was Draco’s horrified face before everything went black. 

♥♥♥♥

When she came to, she was in a bed that was most certainly not hers. The sheets were a luxurious black silk--did they even have those at Hogwarts?--and it smelled much different than her room, much more like someone else’s choice of shampoo and mahogany. A bandage was wrapped tightly around her right hand, but she could see no visible bleeding through the fabric.

Where was she?

Y/N shot up, throwing the heavy blankets off of her and frantically scanning the room for answers.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” 

A very tired Draco Malfoy sat in the corner, holding a candle in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. 

final a/n: this literally went in every direction except for the one that the request specifically asked for and now i have to write a part 2 so that’ll be up soon

[akfanficlove]

“What if I remember?” - #SeblaineWeek2020

Written for Seblaine Week 2020 – Hurt/ comfort

Sebastian had proposed. A week later, he was in an accident, Blaine not knowing if he’d make it and remembering the day he went back to Dalton, met Sebastian again and – in the end – fell in love. This hurt so much when I was even just writing it but I love how it turned out.

 He remembers. He knows it happened, yet he can barely believe it. Why is he silently sitting in an uncomfortable chair next to beeping machines when he wants to scream at Sebastian to finally wake up? The hand that’s holding his boyfriend’s for dear life is sweaty. No, wait, not his boyfriend’s – his fiancé’s. It can’t be, it’s only been a week since Sebastian went down on one knee during their vacation in Paris.

Paris, where Sebastian had lived as a child and where he spent six months as an intern in college. Paris, where they wanted to go together after graduation, then after getting their first jobs, then after Blaine’s first show closed on Broadway.

Finally, 2 years after Sebastian had returned home to San Francisco, they finally went there and it was everything Blaine had dreamed about. They were strolling down the Seine late at night, eating crêpes and kissing under the Eiffel Tower, just like Sebastian had promised. And then, on their last night, Sebastian had insisted they’d go to this little restaurant in Montmartre that’s a cute café by day and a funky bar by night, even though they were both tired, so why exactly couldn’t they just order room service and go to bed?

Blaine knew why when Sebastian took his hand, his palms sweaty and shaking a little. “Blaine Anderson”, he said, “you are the most ridiculous person and a pain in my ass. But every day I wake up next to you and for a moment I am so in awe that you are still with me.”

His voice trembled a little and Blaine’s eyes started to fill with tears because, no, he couldn’t mean that, this couldn’t be… “You are stubborn and you drive me insane when I know there’s something bothering you but you brush me off like it’s fine. I hate it when you sing in the shower before I had my morning coffee and hate even more how I could never ever hate it when you’re singing because it’s beautiful. You have this smug smile when you know my arguments are better but your puppy eyes will make me give in anyways and we really need to talk about you not using them for evil purposes like having dinner with your strange public school friends you insist you like.”

Blaine gasps half-mockingly, half self-conscious (Sebastian might have a point about him using that method to get his way).

“All of this should have me running for my life as fast as I can, yet, you are in every way said puppy – one look, one smile and I’m done, Anderson. Actually, thinking about leaving you kind of leaves me shaking with fear because I might be able to survive without you but I would hardly call that living, so I’d really rather not.” Sebastian actually blushed and Blaine was about to yell “yes, I do!” before he even heard the question.

However, Sebastian got down on one knee, holding out a small velvet box with a beautiful simple silver ring with a row of very small black diamonds and asked Blaine to marry him right there in a little restaurant in Paris. It sounds cliché and cheesy but Blaine likes cheesy and he likes Paris and he likes the ring and, hell, yes, he wants to marry Sebastian! For a fraction of a second there’s an image in his head of the boy he used to love, the boy he thought he would marry one day and in another lifetime or universe maybe he would, would have proposed with a big romantic gesture and a moving speech, but here and now, he kissed Sebastian as he slid his finger through the ring.

At home, they threw a little get-together a few days later to break the news to their families and closest friends, both of them still basking in actually doing this, taking this next step together. They wanted to officially tell their fellow ex-Warblers, Blaine’s public school friends Sebastian pretends to dislike (although he knows Sebastian has a soft spot for Marley, likes playing video games with Sam and Sebastian’s relationship with Santana, founded on a deep respect for each other’s wit and snarky banter, Blaine will never understand) and a few other friends on a bigger party next saturday.

 Next saturday seems so far away right now. He doesn’t really know what happened, couldn’t listen to what the doctor told him a few hours ago when he stormed into the hospital after a call that began with “Mr. Blaine Anderson? You are the emergency contact for a Mr. Sebastian Smythe. I’m sorry to inform you that there was an accident…”

Everything is a blur now. He went where they told him to go. He moved when the nurses needed some space to change Sebastian’s IV-drip. He laid his head in the crook between Sebastian’s head and his shoulder, held his hand carefully, unable to say anything but “Please don’t leave me…”. He’s been like that for hours.

 It’s getting late and visiting hours are long over, one of the nurses obviously feels sorry for him, that’s the only explanation he has why he’s still allowed to be here. He really must look as awful as he feels. His whole body hurts when he moves to get up, not wanting to go but not wanting to cause any trouble for the lovely nurse who let him sit with Sebastian a little longer. He kisses Sebastian’s forehead. He knows, Sebastian doesn’t like this, feels like a little kid when he does it, and maybe Blaine does it on purpose to make Sebastian finally wake up. He remembers fragments now, that the doctor said something about “potential brain damage” and “we just need to give him a few hours, maybe a day or two” and Sebastian “being lucky”. He really wants to believe her, has a deep respect for doctors after seeing some of his friends like Wes and Jeff suffer through med school. So, he hopes she’s right and reluctantly let’s go off Sebastian’s hand.

 Turns out, going back to their apartment was not a good idea. Everything around him is Sebastian and when he’s finally in bed, the only thing he can think about is What if?

 What if Sebastian doesn’t wake up tomorrow?

What if he wakes up at night, now knowing where he is, what happened and looking for Blaine?

Or what if he wakes up not even knowing who Blaine is? What if what they had is gone now?

 Something in Blaine’s stomach doesn’t feel right and he needs to get it out one way or the other. He runs towards the bathroom and makes it just in time before he throws up his breakfast and some of the shitty coffee he had at the hospital. For the first time since the call, he allows himself to break down into tears. He sits on the cold tiles of their bathroom floor, grabbing his curls when the sob’s ripple through his body.

What if Blaine goes back tomorrow and they tell him, Seb will never wake up?

What if they ask him to decide to turn off the machines or believe in wonders?

Oh dear god, what if he actually dies?

 Usually, when Blaine is upset, he finds comfort in Seb’s arms and a solution for whatever problem in his analyzing way of thinking. Blaine gets up, washes out his mouth to get rid of the sour taste and makes his way back to the bedroom. He falls down on the mattress and curls up into a ball. He reaches for Sebastian’s pillow and hugs it tight, smelling the faint smell of the cologne he knows Blaine likes, and why? Why did it have to be Seb? Why now? Why doesn’t he wake up already?

Silent tears stream down Blaine’s face, memories flooding his brain: Sebastian laughing because Blaine’s very small mom was hugging him so tight when they told her about the engagement. Sebastian in Paris, the Eiffel Tower, the parks, the ring and his smile. Tears he tries to hide every time they watch “Moulin Rouge” or a Disney classic. Date nights in the park for the 4th July, sitting on a blanket watching the fire works explode over the Golden Gate Bridge. Little moments like them holding hands all the way back to the hotel with their National’s trophy. Their first kiss a few days later when Blaine burned his tongue on scalding hot coffee, Sebastian being there to soothe the ache. All the way back, Blaine’s first day back at Dalton, not officially attending classes yet but in his uniform anyway to try how it would feel. He remembers. He remembers Sebastian starstruck-expression and the hand on his back. He remembers the warmth that was partly because he was so excited to be back and partly because something stirred in his belly he didn’t dare name yet, not back then.

It’s that warmth he craves now. That warmth he wishes he could give Sebastian. He falls asleep with tears drying on his lashes, his body on Sebastian’s side of the bed. He sleeps restlessly but when he does, he dreams about that day at Dalton that changed everything.

 It’s 7 a.m. when he slowly wakes up, feeling even more exhausted than when he fell asleep. He just wants to shower and go back to the hospital. Before getting up, he looks at his phone, a little anxious to see a message from the hospital there telling him bad news although it’s a ridiculous thought. They would’ve called if something was wrong, right? Yeah. But they would’ve also called if Seb had woken up, a bitter voice in his head tells him.

After the shower and getting dressed he dials the hospitals number where they tell him visitors were not allowed sooner than 8:30 which leaves Blaine with one more hour to ki– to spend. What he wanted to say is a bad, bad word. A bad, bad word he purposely doesn’t use, afraid he might jinx something. Blaine huffs. Sebastian would so make fun of this, of how Blaine behaves when the doctor’s prognosis was that he would be fine and Blaine wishes more than anything for Sebastian to come home and make fun of him. He’d gladly take a life full of rolling eyes, half-smiles and shaking heads if it meant that Sebastian would just be fine. He loves this man and no God would be cruel enough to take him from him, right?

 Blaine sits down on the couch, completely ready with his shoes on and watches to clock on the wall on the left side of their TV tick. He unlocks his phone and scrolls through his pictures.

There are a lot from Paris, one of them in front of the Louvre – it didn’t stop raining this whole day. One of Sebastian in a small café with a French newspaper and an espresso. One of him kissing Sebastian’s cheek out of a sudden and Sebastian’s eyes wide in surprise from when they finally made it up the hill to Sacré-Cœur and enjoyed the view.

Then there are other pictures. Sebastian with his arms slung over Hunter’s and Beat’s shoulder on the night of their housewarming party for their offices of the advertisement agency the founded together. Sebastian, Kitty and Marley dancing on Sam’s birthday party last year, his boyfr– his fiancé’s tie undone and probably too many buttons of his shirt open to be appropriate. Yet, they seemed like they didn’t have a care in the world. A picture of Sebastian and him hugging in front of a huge poster of Blaine’s face on Blaine’s opening night on Broadway. It’s the look in Seb’s face, so proud, so in love, so excited that has Blaine’s heart breaking a little and makes tears sting in his eyes. His thumb brushes over their faces. “Seb, you can’t leave me now…”, he whispers although no one’s there that could hear him.

How he made it to the hospital, he has no idea. His whole body aches and it’s getting worse the closer he gets to the room door. When Blaine opens it, he actually stops breathing, only to let it out in a deep sigh when he finds Sebastian in exactly the same position as he was yesterday. “He looks so fragile”, Blaine thinks and he wants to do nothing but hold his boy in his arms. Maybe that’s why he dismisses the chair and lays down next to Sebastian, curled into his body, careful not to accidently pull out the IV-drip. How often he had found himself in almost exactly this position when they were cuddling in bed after an orgasm or when Blaine’s had this awful cold last winter. Blaine cups Sebastian’s cheek and stroked lightly. During the 5 days of the cold when he thought he might actually die, Sebastian kept him company in bed when he could, took a few days off of work to take care of him, brought him soup and water and tea and advil. And he sang to him, Blaine remembers, the memory might be a little fuzzy but he remembers his soft voice in his ear grounding him. So Blaine starts singing softly, if only to help Sebastian ground himself:

 “I still love you

I still want you

I still need you

After all.

For better or worse

Sickness and health

Till death do us part

After all.

Please don’t leave me…”

 It must be hours since Blaine has arrived. His voice is starting to get hoarse, his face is wet from tears Blaine couldn’t stop from falling and he feels exhausted. When the song is over, he burries his face in Sebastian’s neck and breathes in before getting up. He needs to go to the bathroom and even though he’s not hungry, he knows he should get something to eat. Before he turns to leave the room he leaves a lingering kiss against Sebastian’s forehead and mumbles “I’ll be right back…”. He walks towards the door.

“You know I hate it when you do that, B.”

Blaine stops in his tracks. He’s afraid to turn back around. What if his brain is playing tricks on him? What if he’s sleep-deprieved and going crazy?

“Makes me feel like a child.”

Blaine turns. Deep green is looking at him. There’s a crocked smile on a beautiful face and Blaine rushes back to the bed and grabs this handsome face. He doesn’t feel the tears of relief but he feels the chains that suffocated him burst in his chest, suddenly it’s easier to breath again. He doesn’t hear himself whisper his name again and again in awe. But he does feel it when Sebastian turns his head a little and winces but kisses his palms.

“Hey…”

Blaine blinks. “Hi… oh my god, Seb, you scared me so much!” He launches himself into his fiancé’s arms with an “I love you” but scrambles to his feet when he hears him groan in pain. “Shit, I’m sorry, Seb, I’m so, so sorry. Wait, let me get a nurse or a doctor, fuck, you must be in so much pain and I– I’m just so glad, you’re awake…” He wipes tears and snot away with the back of his right hand. Sebastian is awake. He’s awake.

Sebastian just smiles at him. “It’s okay, B, I’m okay, I’m fine. I don’t need a doctor, not right now.” He grab’s Blaine’s hand. “Why don’t you lay down again?” He scoots over and Blaine obliges, raveling in the feeling of Seb’s finger’s lacing through his curls. He’s awake.

“Oh, Blaine?” – “Mhm?” – “We have to postpone the party. I am so not giving Hunter the satisfaction of showing up with bruises on this usually perfect mark of beauty…”

Blaine just rolls his eyes and hugs Sebastian tighter even though he hears him hissing in obvious discomfort. Good. That’ll teach Sebastian to never, ever scare Blaine like that again. “I swear to God, Seb, if you ever scare me like that again, I’ll burn your French vintage-writing desk without batting an eye.”

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

‘A Night with William Windom’

Featuring William Windom

Back in 1997, I was at the Beverly Garland Holiday Inn in North Hollywood where many celebrities from TV’s “Golden Age” taking part in autograph meet-and-greets with fans. I first spotted William Windom sitting next to former Jackie Gleason Show regular Sheila MacRae, just down from Ken Berry and Larry Storch from F Troop. You got older stars at the Hollywood Show back then because, well, they were still around.

I had just purchased a still from Mr. Windom’s debut movie To Kill a Mockingbird and he seemed surprised by my choice as most people wanted stills from Star Trek or Murder, She Wrote.

“I’m a lawyer today in large part because of that movie.” I told him.

Mr. Windom proceeded to tell me a few anecdotes about lawyers and his time on the set To Kill a Mockingbird. Eccentric and fidgety, I noticed he kept messing around with an old navy telescope gizmo, a small brass thing he kept looking through when he wasn’t being bugged for his John Hancock.

“Check this out.” He finally said to me.

I looked through it and realized that it was a trick telescope with a mirror in it so you could look directly sideways from where it appeared you were looking. Windom, married five times in his life, was scoping out the Playboy bunnies signing at a nearby table. The man knew what to bring to the show.

I told him “If that what you like” and his response was “Well what do you like?”

“Someone like you,” I found myself saying, “And if I’m honest, I had a crush on you from watching the show called The Farmer’s Daughter.” I added flirtatiously.

“WELL, we’ll fix THAT!” He replied with devilish satisfaction.

I spent about an hour with Mr. Windom over the two days and on the final day of the convention, I had a private conversation with him in a back room during his break on Sunday for almost half an hour. He genuinely enjoyed my company. I think I embarrassed him with all my adulation, because I told him he was the sole reason I had made the trip. Which wasn’t exactly the truth, but he was funny and attentive, and told me many funny stories. And during that whole time, I continued to seriously flirt with Bill. Testing his comfort level, seeing if he would bite, as it were.

The idea of possibly fucking him drove me mad with lust, but sadly it seem like it was only going to be a dream.

“Well… its been a pleasure meeting you Mr. Windom.” I said as I was about to leave.

Bill stood up, smiled a half smile at me and said, “So…  you still want to suck an old man’s cock?”

And without waiting for my answer, he unzipped his fly and quickly pulled his dick out which greatly surprised me. First, because my flirting worked and second, we were alone in the room, but anyone could have walked in right then. Bill didn’t seem to care. But as I focused on his dick, all other thoughts quickly faded from my mind.

“Ain’t much now, but I’m sure you can make it hard.” Bill said, giving me a good look at his thick beautiful dick. It was pale, cut, thick and pinkish in color with a big head.  

Walking up to my chair, he shoved his soft dick close to my face. I naturally opened up to taste him and he tasted good. Sweet and manly. My hands quickly wrapped around his hips, pulling him closer to my face, shoving his cock deeper into my mouth.

“That feels damn right good. I haven’t had it sucked in months.” Bill said looking straight down into my eyes.

“Swallow it all the way. I know you can do it.” He urged me on as his dick quickly hardened.

Bill’s dick was thick and was a good seven inches when it was hard. But because it wasn’t overly fat, I was able to keep swallowing his suddenly lengthening dick until I had his entire dick buried down my throat. I closed my eyes to enjoyed the smell of his crotch and the wet sounds of my lips sucking his cock. And the sensation of that cock sliding in and out of my mouth was incredible.

Just then, the door opened and someone else came in. Bill quickly pulled his cock out of my mouth and slipped it back in his pants before anyone noticed what we were doing. Then he reached in his pocket and placed his hotel room card on the edge of the table right next to me. He gave me a wink and walked out, leaving the key behind. I looked around to see if anyone had noticed, but no one had. So I grabbed the key, waited a few minutes then headed out.

By the time I got to Bill’s room, I was afraid he’d think I wasn’t’ interested, but when I entered the room, he was ready and waiting. He was in a hotel bathrobe, sitting up in bed with his rock hard cock tenting underneath. Without hesitation, I jumped on the bed and opened up his robe, exposing his fully hard cock. Bill spread his legs, took my head in his hand and guided me to his cock. I opened my mouth wide and greedily started to suck it. I looked up to Bill, his eyes were closed and head tilted back moaning softly, “Oh, good son. Keep on doing it.”

Hearing those words, I started sucking wildly on it. His breathing became really heavy as well as his moaning when suddenly Bill lift my head off his cock. The next thing I knew, I was on my back with him between my legs lifting them high in the air. Kindly, Bill put some lube on my ass that he got out of his travel bag before I felt his two fingers massaging my ass, pushing in and out to loosen me up. He suddenly stopped and I watched him centering up the tip of his cock to my asshole.

“Fuck me, Bill. Give it to me.” I found myself saying as he began pushing for the best angle in.

And Bill did just that as he rammed half his dick deep in my hole so violently that I sucked in air to keep from crying out. Then he rammed the rest of it into me, stopping only when his low hanging balls slapped against my ass.

“You like having my cock up your ass?” He suddenly asked with a hint of a smile on his face.

“Yes... Fuck me, Bill!” I told him shaking my head.

“Oh I’ll fuck you all right.” He said as he pulled his dick out of my ass until only its head remained inside. Then looking straight into my eyes, he rammed his dick back inside as far as it would go.

“Damn if you don’t have a hot ass.” He told me as he started pumping his dick in and out of me with powerful strokes that had me bucking and moaning.

Then right in the middle of  the fucking, he leaned forward and kissed me! I couldn’t believe it. William Windom, who I had always had a crush, was fucking me and kissing me as passionately as I had ever been kissed. Every time I saw him on TV, I had wanted to have sex with him. Now I was doing that. I could tell he was about to cum when I noticed the strained look on his face. And as if on cue, he shot off inside me!

Oh, how I hated for him to cum. But to my surprise he continued to kiss me as though nothing had happened. I wrapped my legs around his waist to hold his cock inside me as long as possible.

After we broke our embrace, I laid there with my eyes closed as I started stroking my cock. Then I felt Bill’s hand stop me from jerking my cock off. Looking me in the eyes, he smiled, then quickly went down on my cock. I couldn’t believe he was sucking my dick? Here’s a 5 time married man, sucking on my dick and looking like he was in heaven doing it. And from the way he was doing it, I could swear he had done it before.

A minute or two of this and I was getting close to cumming when Bill suddenly pulled away. At first I thought that he had enough, but he reached for a container of lube, rubbed some on my dick and smeared some on his asshole.

I knew he hadn’t been fucked before, so I figured I would have a hell of a time getting my cock into Bill’s asshole. But I wasn't about to stop him. I just hope I wouldn’t hurt him. Suddenly, he was kneeling up over me, guiding the tip of my dick to his ass and forcing himself down on me. Slowly, he opened up to accommodate my swollen head and I heard him gasp as it slipped all the way in. Moaning deliriously, Bill squatting down further and further, until all 8 inches of me was in him.

“Oh my god, your cock feels so fucking good in me.” He said out loud.

“Oh yeah, take my cock.” I said as I then began to thrust up slowly. I was ecstatic as I thought it was time to give him the first fucking of his life.

“Yes, oh my god yes! Take me. Fuck me hard.” Bill said in a demanding voice.

This was all the invitation I needed. I started pumping slow and methodical for a good 3 minutes or so until he grew accustomed to the size of my cock. It was fascinating to feel his large body tremble with each thrust. By now he was really gasping and moaning in pure pleasure. At this point, we kind of bouncing off each other as I slammed my cock in and out of him.

‘Oh that’s the way.’ Bill said looking straight down into my eyes.

The knowledge that I was giving this hot man so much pleasure filled me with pride. Bill was really enjoying himself at this point as he was rocking onto my cock. Most of the pleasure he was feeling now was coming from his ass, rather than his cock as he was moaning and babbling incoherently. By now his asshole spasming around my probing cock. And now all I wanted to do was cum as I couldn’t take anymore. I buried my cock deep into his hole and held it there as I pumped a full load of cum into him. Burst after burst of cum coated his insides as we held our positions, gasping for breath, but satisfied.

“That’s something I have wanted to do to you ever since I found out that you were gay.” Bill confessed as he  grimaced and pulled himself reluctantly up and off my still swollen dick.

“I guess both of us had fantasies fulfilled today.”

[THE END]

[hopelessromanticspoonie]

To Keep You Safe

Title: You committed, I’m your crime

Chapter: 4/?

Author: hopeless_romantic_spoonie

Summary: Life as the assistant to Tony Stark was busy, but boring. All of that changed when I touched something I shouldn’t have and woke up with strange new abilities. If I thought that trying to figure out my new place in life as an Avenger was tough, I had no idea what was in store for me once I ran into the frustrating God of Mischief, Loki. 

Rating: E (later on)

Notes: Reminder that this is un-Beta’d, so please excuse any typos or grammatical errors I no doubt missed upon my revisions!

Also on Ao3 here :)

Warnings for this chapter: Language, blood, injury, destruction

~~~

After my little stunt on the roof, Tony decided my superpower training with Wanda needed to begin immediately. Waiting until I fully healed wasn’t an option if I was going to destroy the Compound with a–totally justified–mood swing.

Wanda did her very best in trying to help me figure this whole geokinesis thing out. She was patient and didn’t give up on me even when I gathered my hair in my hands and shrieked in frustration. She ignored any bellyaching or whining I sent her way and remained the ever-supportive tutor. Through our combined perseverance, I slowly became aware of the constant thrumming inside me, like a thousand bees buzzing just beneath my skin that got really pissed off when I was surrounded by nature or experienced heightened emotions. We worked for hours outside each day, her coaching me to harness my emotions and funnel them outward properly–AKA not mindless destruction of expensive property and killing of houseplants. It was frustratingly easy for her. She’d been working on her powers for years, while I’d had less than a week.

It was exhausting work, and I hadn’t even started fight training with Nat yet. That woman was going to kick my ass six ways to Sunday, and to say I was dreading it was an understatement of epic proportions. I collapsed into bed each night and passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow, often forgetting to shower or eat until I woke up disgusting and ravenous the next morning. It was easy to understand some of my new roommates’ preference for protein drinks. I chugged them down on my way to the lawn in the middle of the Compound each morning, forcing myself to get something in my system before we began.

Half of the time I just looked constipated as I stared at leaves or small rocks, willing them to do what I commanded and getting discouraged as the wind proved more effective. Then something would move, but not how I wanted, and we’d have to try again but harder or differently. It wasn’t a very satisfying process, to say the least.

I even had some meetings with Bruce. He knew more than anyone how important it was to keep a handle on strong emotions and, since that seemed to be a huge trigger for me and I refused to let Tony hire an actual professional about it, offered to help me out as best as he could.

“Jen, what seems to set off your anger the most?” Bruce asked kindly during one of our ‘sessions’. Sitting in his office of neutral warm beige and soft lighting, He might as well be my therapist. With him perched across from me in a tasteful armchair and me cross-legged on a plush couch, we at least looked the part. All he was missing was a clipboard and look of feigned interest. But if it meant less destructive outbursts and my eventual freedom I’d pour my guts out to him all day long.

“Loki.” The answer came without hesitation. That Asgardian serpent knew how to get under my skin like nothing else, and always took advantage of that fact at the worst time. Although to be fair, he did make everything worse when he deemed us worthy of his presence, so it wasn’t just me.

“Why does he bother you so much? He can’t hurt you, not here. He’s stuck on base so we can keep an eye on him, so he has to play nice. And you’re getting better at controlling your powers, so you can fight back. He only has the power to hurt you because you let him.”

The truthful answer immediately sprang to mind, but I hesitated, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth and staring at the floor. I didn’t talk about my past. Bruce was a great guy, and he wouldn’t judge me, but talking about it meant feeling it again, and I wasn’t so great with that feeling thing people were supposed to do. Much easier to work myself to death and pass out to some fun nightmares, then repeat. But to make him explain the deeply rooted loathing that I harbored for Loki, I’d have to give him some sort of explanation.

When I looked up to him, hoping that he would just let it go, the curious concern on his face appeared well and truly settled onto his worn features. He even sank further into the cushioned chair, as if he could wait all day for me to reply. “He’s an annoying little shit,” I tried, internally crossing my fingers that he’d believe my easy and obvious answer.

“We all know that. But he also doesn’t make us angry enough that we break an entire wall of windows or kill a tree just by walking by it.”

Oops.

“His face is just really punchable?” I tried again. Going by the unchanged expression on his face, it didn’t work.

Damn. Guess it was honesty time.

“He destroyed my life years ago. Seeing his smirking face every day just rubs it in. He shouldn’t be free to roam around after what he did,” I mumbled quickly, staring down at my hands twisting in my lap. I had taken to carrying a palm-sized pointed stone in my pocket at all times. It gave me something to practice with when I was idle, and the paranoid side of me knew that I might one day need some sort of weapon I could manipulate while surrounded by man-made materials. I fiddled with it now, turning it over in my fingers and rubbing one side absentmindedly with my thumb. Anything to avoid looking at Bruce as he peeled away my protective layers to reveal my soft, gooey insides.

“The Battle of New York? Tony told me you worked at Stark Tower when it happened. But you’re here. You’re safe. He didn’t hurt you, and if he did, it wasn’t permanent,” Bruce soothed, his voice laced with sincere compassion.

“He didn’t hurt me, no.”

“I know that trauma can linger for years after-”

“I don’t have PTSD. Tony paid for me to see a therapist after the attack, and I worked though the trauma of the situation. I’m not afraid of that happening again,” I muttered, clenching the rock tightly as I looked up to him. Anger was simmering just beneath my skin, mixing unpleasantly with deep grief that I did my best to keep safely stored away at the back of my mind at all times.

“If you don’t have lingering trauma, and you aren’t permanently injured, how did Loki destroy your life?” Bruce prodded, digging deeper and deeper. “Without getting to the root of this issue, it’s never going to get better.”

“He took it from me.”

“I don’t understa-”

“He took it from me!,” I snapped and stood up, my anger boiling over as my free hand reached into my grey sweater and pulled out the golden necklace always around my neck. I stepped closer so that Bruce could see the small circular pendant. Etched into the gold were the shaky whorls of a thumbprint. My other hand gripped the stone so tightly that the edges drew blood from my palm, but I didn’t care. All I could feel were the tears pricking my eyes and the swarm of bees searching for release from beneath my skin.

“He took them from me. My mom. My dad. Michael, my twin brother. I see his face every day in the mirror and feel him around my neck, and I see their mangled bodies that I was forced to identify every time I look at his smug, arrogant asshole face! And he just gets to walk free around this place like he didn’t kill hundreds of people that day, and wreck the lives of those left behind! He feels nothing for what he did,” I shouted, my rapid-fire words tearing from my throat in an impressive shriek.

I turned away from Bruce to avoid the pity I knew I would see. It would be the same look that I got whenever I told anybody the story, which is exactly why I didn’t mention it. Ever. I stared up at the ceiling and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill down my face. Without waiting for his response I stormed from the room, leaving a stunned Dr. Banner in my wake.

Outside his office I jogged up the stairs, my eyes downcast as I focused on just getting away from that room. From the words I hadn’t spoken out loud in years to anyone. Speaking it made it real again, and that ache ripping my heart to shreds was one I wanted to avoid if at all possible. So preoccupied with my retreat and holding myself together, I didn’t notice the wall of pure muscle coming down the stairs until I ran straight into it.

“Milady! How are yo-what is wrong?” Thor went from surprised and happy to worry in an instant as I stumbled against him. His hands gripped my upper arms to steady me as he stooped down to take in my red blotchy face, the tears that had slipped down my cheeks, and the blood slowly dripping from my hand. “What happened?”

I lifted my bloodshot eyes to his, searching for pity and coming up empty. Only careful regard and fierce protectiveness furrowed his brow. Rubbing the back of my injured hand against my cheeks, I shook my head harshly. “Ask your brother,” I croaked, pulling away from him and rushing up the stairs.

“Loki!” The booming voice of Thor shook the art upon the walls like the thunder he commanded as he stormed away in the opposite direction. Good. Maybe he could knock that shit-eating grin off his face. If anyone could handle Loki, it was his brother.

I paid no attention to the assembled Avengers in the kitchen, even after Steve and Vision called after me. I needed to get to a safe place, one without rocks or plants or anything else my powers could use as a projectile. I barged inside my room without uttering a word. After my incident on the roof with the windows, I’d come back to find all of the decorative plants removed from my room. At first, I’d been insulted, but critical thinking made me realize it was for the best. The only weapon in my bedroom was the rock clutched in my hand and my body wasn’t going to fight itself for it.

I hadn’t even taken three steps into the room before I heard banging on my door.

“Pebbles, let’s talk, kid. Why is Thor trying to rearrange Loki’s face?” Tony’s frustrated voice projected into my room through F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s speakers installed in the ceiling. Our rooms weren’t fully soundproof, but regular shouting was barely audible through the thick walls and heavy door. The blood rushing through my ears didn’t help matters, either.

I stared up at the nearest speaker in silence, focusing on tamping down the roaring in my ears and itching beneath my skin. I wasn’t going to open that door until I had myself under control, and a chat with Tony wasn’t going to suddenly undo all of the hurt that I fought daily to keep bottled away inside.

“Pebbles?,” I called out, picking up on the new nickname and ignoring his question purposefully.

“Pebbles. You can throw tiny rocks around. It’s cute.” I picked up on the smirk in his voice followed a couple of heavy bangs on the door. “Now open the door and let’s hash this out, Pebbles.”

“I’m good.” I threw myself dramatically down onto my bed. I was not in the mood to deal with Tony right now. I just needed to sit and stew and maybe break a few things. Then it’d all be fine and I could go on my merry way of stunted emotions and repressed thoughts.

“No can do. Gotta be a grown-up and talk it out,” his firm, no-nonsense voice grated on my agitated nerves.

Talk it out? No thanks.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Leave. Me. Alone,” I replied, directing my words and a pillow at the continuous banging on the door. As soon as the pillow thumped uselessly against it, the echoing knocks stopped.

“But I do, Jen,” came Wanda’s soft voice through the speaker. Bruce must have gotten her.

“Ugh.” I stood up, wiping away the last of my tears from my face as I went to the door. Taking a deep breath and blowing it out through my mouth, I opened the door. Thankfully, only Wanda and Tony stood on the other side. The rest of the gang must have gone to watch the spectacle I’m sure Thor and Loki were making. The disappointment on Tony’s face cut me to my core, so I averted my gaze to Wanda. She offered me a sympathetic smile, cocking her head toward the room behind me. I stepped aside and let her through with a flourish of my hand.

I groaned in defeat and looked up at a frowning Tony. “Tell Thor to back off. I’m sure he’s done enough damage as it is,” I muttered, dropping my chin to my chest and closing the door on him.

I turned around to find Wanda sitting on the couch, her elbows on her knees and her hands clasped in front of her. It was still surreal to have The Scarlet Witch just hanging out in my bedroom, even after daily training sessions for over a week.

“You know that I had a brother. Pietro,” she spoke softly, her eyes trained on me as I crossed over to sit beside her. “I also lost him because of another’s hatred. And it is a knife in my chest that never goes away. Sometimes I forget that it’s there, but then it comes back sharper and more painful than ever. But I can’t let that control me.”

I walked over and plopped down beside her with a thoughtful frown. I could feel my slick blood on the stone’s surface as I worried it, but the stinging in my hand was inconsequential to the turmoil inside. It could be taken care of later. “That’s easier said than done,” I muttered.

Wanda raised a hand covered in red light, twisting it. My bathroom door opened, and then I heard my medicine cabinet open and close. The first aid kit found in each bathroom of the Compound, because Tony knows his guests and their occupational hazards, levitated out and into her waiting hand. She gently took the rock from me and set it on the coffee table in front of us so she could tend to my injury with gentle touches as she spoke.

“It is. And I also thought that getting revenge for his loss would make me feel better. I ripped out the heart of Ultron. I watched him die, and the pain didn’t lessen. I still woke up reaching for him each morning and looking for him first when I needed to talk. It doesn’t fix the pain, Jen,” she murmured, dabbing at the small but plentiful cuts on my hand with a cleansing wipe.

“I have to see him every day. He gets to be free around this base without any issue,” I spat, clenching my teeth against the sting of the antibacterial solution.

“Being trapped isn’t without its downsides. Besides, I know for a fact that Thor is giving him a sound lesson as we speak. He has tried to atone for his mistakes,” she pushed, unwrapping a set of bandages and slowly rewrapping them around my hand.

She was at least right about one thing. From the crashes of thunder and darkening sky, the anger a certain God of Thunder currently held for Loki was made clear.

“It’s not enough,” I replied, my extreme emotions slowly fading to leave me feeling drained more than anything else. My usual state after the Battle, to be honest.

“Would you see him dead? If given the opportunity, would you take this rock and drive it through his heart? Honestly?” She finished up the dressing with a piece of medical tape to hold everything in place. Undeterred by my drying blood on the rock, she picked it up and held it out to me.

“I… don’t know,” I whispered, taking the heavy stone from her slowly and staring at it to avoid her knowing gaze.

“I don’t think you’re a murderer, Jen. And I’ve met several of them,” Wanda offered and stood up with a heavy sigh. “I’m not telling you that you’re not allowed to feel this. But you won’t like the person that you turn into if it’s all that you feel.” She squeezed my shoulder before leaving me alone with my conflicted thoughts.

I gathered the bloodied medical supplies and took them to the trash before walking to stand before the floor-to-ceiling windows of my room. Thor must have found Loki outside, as there were scorch marks on the ground and twisted remnants of metal benches scattered around the open green lawn.

I wasn’t a murderer. That I knew deep down inside. If Loki was powerless before me right now and I had a gun to his temple, I wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger. I couldn’t have that blood on my conscience. Did I want him to know my pain? Yeah, for sure. He showed no remorse for his actions. He sauntered around like he owned the place, as if the feelings of others were inconsequential and insignificant.

But he didn’t deserve to die. If anything, he deserved to grapple with the guilt of the lives he ruined for the rest of his immortal life. And maybe an occasional beating from his incredibly strong brother. But if he was going to learn from his mistakes, he at least needed to know what he did wrong first.

“Shit, I have to talk to Loki,” I groaned, dropping my forehead against the cool glass in front of me.

~~~

I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. Wanda must have told everyone to give me some space as no one came to bother me. During that time, I practiced. I sat on my bed, staring at my blood-stained rock and forcing it to move around the room, to do what I wanted it to and not lose control. Hours passed with my fighting the weariness of my mind and body until the natural light outside my room disappeared and was replaced with cool blue moonlight.

If there was any time to find Loki, it was now. His displeasure for the company of the Avengers wasn’t exactly a secret, leaving him to do the majority of his skulking around after hours. After his fight earlier with Thor, I knew he’d want to confront me. He wasn’t one to just take something lying down. All I needed to do was leave the sanctuary of my room.

After I stowed my rock inside my pocket, I threw on a pair of black tennis shoes and put my disheveled dark hair into a ponytail. The hum of electricity and fan of the heating system were the only sounds in the Compound other than my steps ringing firmly on the stairs as I jogged up to the roof. It was one of my favorite places and I was banking on that being common knowledge. I settled onto a large boulder in the middle of the garden, my back to the roof access door, and waited. He’d come.

“I should drive this knife through your throat right now,” Loki’s low silken voice was in my ear the second I felt two lean arms constrict around me, one around my shoulders to yank me against his rigid chest, and the other holding said knife to the soft skin of my neck. 

That didn’t take long.

“Why don’t you?” I ground out, stretching my head back against his shoulder to keep the blade from nicking my skin. I was engulfed by his presence. From the feeling of his taut body against my back to the heady scent of leather and spice, to his breath blowing across my ear, I was surrounded.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he hissed, the dagger around my neck disappearing as if it had never existed. His hands went to my shoulders and roughly spun me around before one went to my throat. He squeezed, not enough to cut off my air, but enough to let me know that he was the one in control of the situation. I swallowed and felt his hand shift over the nervous movement of my neck.

In the softly lit garden, I could just make out the damage Thor had done to him. The rolled-up sleeves of his dark button-down did little to hide the bruising blows that must have gotten through his armor, and his strikingly handsome face looked dreadful. Cuts marred his sharp cheekbones, and a large black eye only served to highlight the malice in his piercing emerald eyes.

Handsome? Nope, I didn’t just think that about the man threatening to strangle me.

Still, I couldn’t appear too weak. Calling upon the energy pulsing beneath my skin, I beckoned the sharpened, blood-stained rock from my pocket and put it to his own throat. My hours of practice that I had put myself through earlier showed in the slight tremor it gave in the air, but I dug deep to maintain it’s threatening position against his pulse. I would never do more, press it any harder, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Why did you send my brother to fight me?” he asked, glancing at my makeshift weapon with no concern before shifting his manic eyes back to mine.

Best get to the point before he strangled it out of me. 

“You killed my family,” I choked out around his grip, wrapping both of my hands around his wrist. For all my tugging at his arm, I was rewarded with his grip on my airway tightening ever-so-slightly but not budging besides that. It was enough of a message to still my hands but they remained on his oddly cold skin.

His steely gaze met mine, filled with fury. With a smirk, he grabbed the rock I held to his throat and it disappeared from his grip just like his dagger had. Well, shit. “And now what? You want to fight me? Or, rather, send Thor to fight your battles since you are too weak and irrational to take me on? You wouldn’t stand a chance,” he smirked, stepping closer until he had to look down his nose to see into my eyes.

“Try me, God of Mischief,” I replied through gritted teeth, my eyes flicking over to a tree behind him. With great effort, I directed the buzzing of power inside of me to find the weakest point in the tree. Locating it, my bandaged hand let go of Loki, clenched into a fist, and broke off a bare, dead branch. It flew over at the beckoning of my curled fingers, poised against his throat.

His sadistic smile grew at the thin limb pressing into his jugular. Without moving a muscle, Loki wrenched it from my control and soared across the Compound away from us. I was fighting a losing battle, but it didn’t stop me from trying.

“Learned a new trick, mortal? How quaint. But you won’t win against me,” he whispered, pulling my body flush against his by the hand at my throat, his breath cool against my ear. After one last demonstrative squeeze, he released me, pushing me away from him.

I fell to my knees as soon as I was free, taking deep gulps of sweet, sweet air. His icy touch sent goosebumps down my spine and lingered on my skin for far too long after it was gone. A weariness from manipulating my abilities for so long also tugged on my limbs, urging me to rest and recuperate from the strain. I remained kneeling, gathering my strength, as I scowled at him. “You ruined everything. You deserved it.”

“Get in line, darling. It’s hardly unusual behavior for me,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest with a shrug.

“You should pay for what you did!” I hissed, standing up and advancing on him.

He stood his ground, looking down at me with all the fear a panther holds for a mouse. “You know nothing of my recompenses. I know full well what I did on that day,” he seethed, the terrifying anger that radiated off of him made all the more imposing by his tall frame as he towered over me.

I flinched; I couldn’t help it. I was provoking a god, and the tension in his body and rage in his eyes spoke of power much stronger than my own. He had held his own against Thor earlier, only receiving a few bruises and scrapes for his troubles. What did I expect to be able to do if he decided to fully unleash the barely-contained ire that poured off of him? I bluffed that he wouldn’t be able to hurt me, but how far did the protection of his brother and Tony really reach? Besides the threat of another beating and possible imprisonment, there wasn’t anything stopping him from ending my life here and now and then disposing of me just like the throwing knives he so easily manipulated into and out of existence.

“I am not the same god that ravaged that city.” His harsh breath blew across my face as he advanced towards me, forcing me to back up until my body hit the cold glass windows behind me. I desperately clung to any iota of control I had over my powers as they bubbled beneath the surface seeking an outlet for the heightened response his closeness instilled in me. Craning my neck to meet the piercing eyes of the fair-skinned man crowding me, I saw no difference to the same villain that invaded New York City years ago, and I voiced that opinion.

“My actions on that day were not done with my full consent,” he admitted, some of the fury that furrowed his brow escaping with his strangled sigh. I could’ve sworn that he looked haunted for a moment, but I must have been mistaken because the cold gleam shining once again in his eyes was so intense that it appeared etched into his features. “No matter, as I have suffered the consequences either way.”

“Then add this to your list of consequences,” I whispered, reaching between us to pull my necklace from beneath my clothing. I shoved it into his face. “His name was Michael Thompson. My twin was murdered sitting in a cab with my parents from your Chitauri army. And every time I look at your stupid face, at my face, I’m reminded of it. I can never escape it, and you shouldn’t be able to either,” I said, my voice shaking with too many emotions that I wouldn’t name and fought desperately to stifle. I was not going to lose control, not after digging up the courage to face him.

Loki’s eyes quickly glanced down at the necklace before coming back to me, searching them quizzically. His jaw clenched as he took in my expression, and a look I could only describe as pain cracked the harsh veneer he usually maintained.

“I do know what it’s like to lose those I hold dear. This I promise you,” he breathed, his words drifting across my face in a mint-scented cloud before he turned and quickly left the rooftop. Leaving me standing there alone, shaking from an overload of emotions and struggling to catch my breath.

Free from his intensity, I leaned forward and put my hands on my knees, trying to quiet my ragged breath so I could listen to see if he returned to finish what he had barely begun. I had done what I had set out to accomplish. I made him face the harsh realities of his selfish actions years ago, literally shoved the evidence in his face, and forced him to listen to me. For all the good that it did. He had lived for centuries. What was the plight of a woman who was but a blip on the timeline of his life going to change anything?

The first bit of the conversation that I truly didn’t understand was the conclusion. ’I do know what it’s like to lose those I hold dear.’ Who had this heartless man lost? To have lost means that he must have loved someone, and who would he deem worthy of his affections? He made it abundantly clear that everyone was beneath him, dull creatures compared to the superiority of his godliness.

Had Loki had a heart at one point in his life? Was he born with the black shriveled-up stone that he most definitely possessed now? He must have been a little boy at some point in his life. Although, to be honest, I wasn’t actually sure if Asgardians just came into existence fully grown and, in his case, ready to piss off the world or, in his brother’s case, ready to save it. Could there really be a reason for the loathing that he harbored for the world?

Nope. Not going to try to humanize the murdering bastard.

The second thought that nagged at my overworked mind was that he claimed to have not been fully in control of himself during the invasion. Was that a lie? Recalling the haunted expression that had flashed in his dark eyes for the briefest of moments, it was doubtful. That had been the face of someone who had known true pain. Was the God of Lies that good of an actor? This new tidbit of information hadn’t been brought to my attention before, but I also hadn’t lifted my nose from the grindstone to really pay attention to much since I lost my family.

If it was true, then what in the hell had been strong enough to make him do something he didn’t want to do? Loki was a thousand-year-old god with incredible amounts of will, strength, and power. He didn’t just bend his knee and listen to anyone who could manage to get a word in edgewise. No, his cooperation would have had to been taken from him, as there seemed to be no one who he would freely give it to. I was under no illusion that he was playing along with his captivity now, perhaps having nothing else better to do than to hang around until a more enjoyable opportunity came along. 

Did Loki actually fear something and have a weakness like us pathetic mortals?

Obviously I needed to get some sleep if I was starting to go down that road. I was delusional with exhaustion.

Yep. That’s it.

[izzy-b-hands]

Dancer Chapter Three

Chapter Three, let’s go! 

Vital events including: Shopping! Lap Dances! Smut! And maybe more??

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

His alarm blared from his phone, and he got up happy for a chance to shower and eat. He’d been told that everything put in the apartment for him wouldn’t be fancy or much, but that was fine. A warmish shower with a decent towel to dry off with, and a bowl of corn flakes was better than nothing.

He had more than a good few hours until he had to be at the club, and he used it to wander the shops, to find more than the BITCH emblazoned sweatpants. A lot of it was too expensive to buy on the allotment given to him by Kingsman, but there were a few things: a pair of black sweatpants free of any rhinestones, a few tank tops of the non-mesh variety in multiple colors, a pair of black skinny jeans, a pair of blue skinny jeans, and the loudest patterned suit jacket he’d ever seen. He figured Evan would love it though, and maybe Boniface as well.

Back at home, he settled in. Clothes in the closet, the towel from the club hand washed in the bathroom sink and left to dry on the counter, and his ‘work bag’ rearranged:

Pistols and ammo still hidden carefully, as well as the ear piece (thank goodness for the magic of the hidden pockets and sections Kingsman-made bags had)

All the mesh shirts, booty shorts, thongs, and G-strings refolded

The BITCH sweatpants in it as well (those would be his ‘heading home’ gear, he’d decided) and one of the sweatshirts

The multiple pairs of platforms shoved in haphazardly, because there was simply no nice way to get them in the bag with everything else.

By the time he’d done all that, there were still a couple of hours to wait. So he put together his outfit for the night.

A black mesh top, a dark blue G-string and booty shorts, and a pair of light blue platforms. Nothing overly showy, but he wanted to blend it as much as he could for the night.

Evan, however, thought differently once they got to the club. “Is that what you’re wearing tonight?”

They were in the same green room, it now bore a handwritten sign with his fake name on it, designating it properly his. He hadn’t realized it the day before, but all the other doors he’d barely been able to see as they passed them were also green rooms for the other dancers. Very few had to share, it seemed.

“Yeah. Thought I’d keep it simple for tonight,” Eggsy replied, and turned around in it. “How do I look?”

“Not ready for tonight, and I mean that as kindly as I can,” Evan replied. “Can I see what else you brought?”

Eggsy reached into his bag, and dropped some of the contents onto the couch.

“Hm,” Evan moved fast, picking up and rejecting items of clothing in a heartbeat. “This, not this, this one, and these. You’ve already got gold in your makeup, so that can stay.”

The black mesh top was safe, but he replaced the blue G-string with a shimmery golden thong, and a pair of golden booty shorts that were thin enough to nearly be see-through, and Evan pulled out the same gold platforms he’d worn the day before.

“Better?”

“Much,” Evan said. “Boniface has his favorite colors, looks, you’ll find out soon enough. But in the meantime, let me help you grease the wheels a bit. After all, sounds like you truly need it, if you know what I’m saying.”

Eggsy shook his head.

“Those apartment walls are thin,” Evan smiled. “But no worries, you’ll hear me as well, now that I can date again. And it was sweet, in a way. Moaning out his name like that...”

The blush that took over his face was utterly too warm, and he hoped it might just melt him right into the floor as Evan giggled.

“Don’t be embarrassed! Really, it’s fine. But, to make things a little more bearable for you, I figure we get you laid tonight. And he’ll be watching you already, but in this? He won’t be able to take his eyes off of you,” Evan said. “Ready?”

He wasn’t entirely sure he was, but he nodded, and then they were out.

The club truly was busy during normal hours, and he could barely get through the crowd to linger around the patrons sitting on the various chairs and couches that littered the club floor.

At first, it seemed like no one was even looking at him, or noticed him. Until a hand reached up and slipped a fiver into the waistband of his shorts.

“Who are you?” the man still had his hand at Eggsy’s waist. “Never seen you here before, and I would remember you for sure. I can’t recall a name, or a face, but I can always remember an ass, and yours is gorgeous.”

He took a breath, and slipped into his character. “Thank you! Not as gorgeous as you though.”

“Oh they have taught you well already,” the man laughed. “Here, sit on my lap and there’s more in it for you.”

Eggsy sat, and ignored the man’s creeping hand at the back of his shorts. “You’re here often then?”

The man nodded. “Marc. And you?”

“Wyn. I just started, this is my first night, actually.”

“You’re doing wonderfully,” Marc assured him, and handed him another fiver. “Go on, tuck it in your waistband. The tourists that wander in will give you more then, the more bills they see on you already. They want the best of the best, to make their experience the fullest it can be, you know. So seeing that is like pollen for bees.”

“I hadn’t figured tourists would stop in here much,” Eggsy said, eager to keep the conversation going. Maybe this man didn’t actually give a rat’s ass about anything more than his ass, but it meant he could sit and not worry about trying to fight his way through the crowd. Plus, who knew what else he might know and say.

“They do, but they don’t stick around long. They stay long enough to spend money, get grossly drunk, and then stumble vomiting back to their hotels,” Marc said. “Disgraceful, but who doesn’t like to get fucked up while on vacation, right? So I can give them that, I suppose.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy said. “As long as it doesn’t kill the mood, right?”

“Exactly,” Marc said, and shoved a fifty into Eggsy’s hand. “Now, I’ve taken up enough of your time. Go out there and kill ‘em.”

He struggled to hide his reluctance as he carefully put the fifty under his waistband, and got up and back into the crowd.

He was only out for a minute though before another hand pulled him close.

“Hey,” the man, one of the aforementioned tourists judging by the state of inebriation, nearly slopped his drink on Eggsy as he pulled him into his lap. “Dance on me like you’d fuck me. Go on, show me. Make it good.”

The tourists on the couch with the man jeered, but they were his only audience. The rest of the crowd were preoccupied with the music, the dancers on stage,  or one of the dancers wandering the floor. “Body Language” by Queen (finally, a song he recognized) was blaring, and he could do something with that, even as the man groped and pawed at him.

It helped to think of it as not the drunken man, but Boniface, though he dreaded to admit it. He wouldn’t know exactly if what he was doing was actually good in bed, but he did his closest approximation of it on the man’s lap, moving his hips to the beat against the man’s cock, very evidently hard in his jeans, a hand holding onto the back of the couch before he leaned back.

The man’s tongue on his chest made him jump, and knocked him out of his groove. He feared the worst in terms of a lost client, but Tony wasn’t running over for him.

“You don’t touch the fucking dancers like that!” Tony was steaming, motioning for Eggsy to get off of the man’s lap. “You don’t gotta fucking stand for that, get off of him, kid. We got fucking rules here, on the poster on the wall, all over the damn club. If you can’t follow them, you can’t stay!”

The man and his group protested, but Eggsy watched as Tony and a few other bouncers gathered to drag them out of the club. That seemed to be then end of it, until Tony returned with a twenty euro note.

“That’s the biggest note he had in his wallet, the prick,” Tony muttered. “You earned it though, you were doing well until he fucked up.”

Eggsy took the note and turned to try again in the crowd, but Boniface was right there as he turned. He didn’t say a word, just took Eggsy’s hand and half-dragged him through the crowd until they were through a door and into one of the back halls.

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t know he was going to do that, and Tony told him he had to go, but if you want him back, I can go apologi-”

Boniface cut him off with a kiss, hard enough to hurt. “He did exactly what he’s supposed to. That fucker shouldn’t have had his tongue anywhere near you. Especially with the show you were giving him. He should be fucking grateful anyone would move like that on someone like him.”

Eggsy had a million things he wanted to say, but couldn’t seem to bring about the words for any of them, so he kissed Boniface instead. It was odd at first, and he was afraid it might be too bold, but Boniface kissed him back with no hesitance.

“I have a place. Attached to the club,” Boniface panted as they finally broke free of each other. “You’ll still get your pay for tonight, no worries.”

He took Boniface’s hand, and tried to ponder how to go about this, so as not to fuck any of it up. What would Boniface expect was the real question, but Evan had said to just be honest with him...

The ‘place’ was a small house on the same bit of land as the club, with an outdoor path at the back of the club that led to it. Inside, it was just as nice as Boniface’s office, more velvet, but in brighter colors. The man did seem to have a thing for gold and black, it seemed.

There wasn’t much time to dedicate to taking in the rooms though, as he was much more preoccupied with Boniface’s lips and hands as he was led through the house to the bedroom.

Boniface detached from him long enough to start stripping off his suit, and Eggsy took his chance.

“I want this, I want to say that first. But...I don’t know how else to say it. I’ve never gotten a chance to, experiment, if you will. I don’t want to mess anything up here, so-”

Boniface smiled and sat on the bed, patting the spot beside him for Eggsy.

He sat, and melted as Boniface kissed him so sweetly and softly it could have made him weep.

“I wondered. I didn’t want to ask outright, but I sort of figured. I don’t mind slow,” Boniface said. “We’ll try some things, see what you’re comfortable with, what you want to try as time goes on. How about that? And anything you don’t like or don’t want, you say no, and we don’t do it again, yes?”

Eggsy nodded.

“Good,” Boniface said, and gestured to the foot of the bed. “How about you give me a show before you join me in here, hm?”

It felt strange without music, but he took it slow, stripping off his mesh top, pulling at the tearaway portion of the shorts until they came off, then quickly undoing the ties of his platforms so he could kick them off before climbing into the bed.

He couldn’t keep quiet, no matter how hard he tried. Every lingering touch on his hips and ass, Boniface’s fingers pulling at his thong until Eggsy finally moved quickly to take it off, all left him moaning and clinging to Boniface as if...well. As if he was lonely, and wanting. Which he figured, he was, even if he hated that he was.

Boniface stopped them for a moment to grab a bottle of lube from the bedside table. “Just hands for tonight, okay? We have time to do more later, I promise.”

If his own hand felt good, Boniface’s was even better, slick with lube and somehow moving just as he wanted it, though he couldn’t manage to do more than moan and mumble and kiss.

Which made him all the more sure he wasn’t doing his best with Boniface’s cock, but he was trying to focus on reciprocating. And Boniface didn’t seem to have any objections, his head dipped against Eggsy’s shoulder, kissing and nipping at his neck, moaning just as loudly and muttering Eggsy’s fake name.

He had meant to hold back, but it was impossible. It was all too much, especially once Boniface’s other hand reached around to grasp the hair at the back of his neck, pulling it just ever so gently, but just enough to tip him over the edge.

His worries about how he was doing for Boniface disappeared as he followed right after him, biting down on Eggsy’s shoulder as he came. 

For a moment, it was heaven. Boniface smiling at him, kissing him softly while they both came back down from their highs, legs intertwined and hands tracing patterns over each other’s skin. 

Then, the door shook as if it might fall or break open. 

“Mr. Gagneux, we have a problem!” Another one of the bouncers, panicked, finally burst the door open. 

Eggsy tried to cover himself, but the bouncer was apparently used to the scene in front of him and didn’t so much as blink, addressing only Boniface. 

“What now?” Boniface sighed. “If that American is back, tell him we’ll call the police unless he goes, and he won’t be seeing Wyn again at all, that’s for sure.” 

“No,” the bouncer said. “Another...client. He’s here for the formula, but conveniently has brought no payment, just guns. They’re holding the whole club hostage.” 

[carmenlire]

Higher than the Big Trees Ch. 48

amazing moodboard courtesy of @kindaresilient!

read chapter one

read on ao3

Alec looks over as the door to his dressing room opens, smiling as his boyfriend pokes his head in.

“Hey, you,” Magnus says as he kicks the door closed.

“Hey, yourself. How are things out there?”

Setting his drink down on the vanity, Alec hears the tinkling of ice against the glass as Magnus wraps his arms around his neck from behind. Leaning down until their cheeks brush, he turns his head a little so that he can lay a kiss over Alec’s jaw.

“Last I saw, the crowd had started spontaneously singing one of your songs. Chocolate Raspberry, I think?”

Alec smiles a little, just a tilt of his mouth that betrays his endless relief and gratitude. “I always love when they do that.”

“It gave me chills,” Magnus agrees. “Thousands of people singing something you wrote acapella is a little eerie.”

“You never get used to it,” Alec says softly and there’s something there, behind the words, lingering in the undertones so that he’s not surprised when he sees Magnus’s eyes sharpen in the mirror.

“And how are things in here, Alexander?”

Alec doesn’t say anything for a moment, instead taking the time to look at the image the two of them present in the vanity’s mirror. So close they’re touching, Magnus’s hair tickling his ear, his boyfriend wrapped around him with a warmth that makes him shiver.

His mouth upturns slowly until he’s grinning, until his eyes crinkle at the corners in a hint of the laugh lines that will start forming in just a few years.

“We’re pretty damn good, babe.”

He’s gratified to hear Magnus snort out a laugh as his arms tighten around Alec’s neck.

“Well, I’m happy to hear that, darling. I was a little worried.”

Shrugging a little, Alec swivels his chair around until he’s facing Magnus, bringing him in until he’s between spread thighs. With fingers hooked into his belt loops, Alec tugs him closer.

“I’m always a little sentimental before my first show of the tour. It never gets old, you know? Sorry if I worried you.”

Magnus waves that away with a quiet smile. He reaches out a hand, sweeps a thumb over Alec’s cheek before cupping his face. “No need to apologize, I assure you. I’m just happy to see that you don’t appear to suffer from stage fright.”

Alec laughs. “No, I’ve never really been one to get nervous in front of crowds-- and good thing too. I had my meet and greet and soundcheck a couple of hours ago and everyone was friendly and excited. It helped temper any nerves that may have cropped up anyway. No, I was just thinking about the past year-- the past decade since my career took off.”

“Good things I hope?”

“The very best,” Alec assures him. His gaze drops down to the mostly undone buttons of Magnus’s shirt, to the bare skin visible between silk. He raises a brow as he laughs to himself.

“Did you know that I’ve ripped my pants on stage before? And I fell once-- well, twice,” Alec corrects with a grimace. “It was raining and the stage was slick as hell. My ass was bruised for a week.”

“Poor Alec,” Magnus drawls, reaching out with his other hand to rest against his chest. “However did you recover?”

Alec just sends him a droll look. “I laughed it off and hobbled over to the mic stand. I stayed in the same spot pretty much the entire concert. Walking hurt too much.”

“At least it’s sunny today, not a cloud in the sky.”

“Yeah,” Alec agrees. “But that just means it’s a hundred degrees and when the stage lights go up, it’s going to feel like I’m boiling.”

“It is summer in New York, darling.”

Huffing out a laugh, Alec just replies, “Hazards of the job, I suppose.”

Silence falls over them and while Alec can hear the shout of his techs out in the hallway, in his dressing room it’s a goddamn oasis of tranquility. While Alec was always more than willing to help out-- he was a very small piece of the performance, after all, even if he was the most visible-- he was usually left alone before the concert to get ready, relax, have a drink with some friends.

It leaves a lot of room to think.

They’ve been skirting the topic for ages, it seems. It’s been almost two months since his album dropped back in June and Alec had watched as the start date for his tour grew closer and closer with anticipation and dread.

Tonight was a home show in New York to kick off his tour. The first date of over a hundred. The first night in a long line that wouldn’t wrap up for over six months.

As Alec looks up and meets Magnus’s eyes, he sees that knowledge there, the grim reality.

“So,” Alec starts, tongue darting out to run over his bottom lip. “Tonight’s the night, huh?”

Magnus smiles though it doesn’t quite manage to reach his eyes. “It is and I’m so incredibly proud of you.”

Alec relaxes in his seat a little before he reaches up and grabs Magnus’s hands, intertwining their fingers. He squeezes a little before tugging Magnus closer until he gets the hint and straddles him.

Raising their hands up to his lips, he kisses the back of Magnus’s hands. “How are you feeling,” Alec asks and he tenses a little as he waits for an honest answer.

Magnus hums a little and this time when he smiles, it’s real even if it’s a little wan. “While I’m looking forward to seeing you perform, I’ll admit it’s a little bittersweet.”

“Yeah,” Alec breathes, tightening his hands on Magnus’s hips. “It’ll be an adjustment.”

Magnus’s hands go into his hair, careful not to muss too much, as he says, “There’s always texting and face time and who knows,” he teases, “Maybe I’ll even be able to visit you for a few dates during the fall semester.”

“I’m in Amsterdam and Germany during Columbia’s fall break,” Alec replies immediately and his grin turns smug as his boyfriend just stares at him. “What,” he asks coyly. “So I did a little research when I got the finalized itinerary.”

Magnus shakes his head a little, bemused, before tilting his face up with a finger under his chin. He leans down and kisses Alec and he breathes easier at the gesture.

“Well, then,” he says softly. “I’ve always wanted to visit Berlin and the Netherlands.”

He leans down a little more and Alec’s eyes sweep shut as their foreheads touch. They breathe each other in and distantly, Alec knows that he has to start getting ready in earnest for his show but he’s loathe to do anything that will take him away from Magnus. This is the first of three nights in New York City and he wants to steal every second he can with his boyfriend.

It feels like grains of sand, golden and all too fleeting, are falling through his fingers and he knows it's only a few months but that doesn't make the prospect of going weeks and months without being with Magnus any easier. He's trying to hold onto as many grains-- as many seconds and minutes and memories-- as he can before his tour bus rolls out of the city in a few days.

Never enough, he thinks. He could have an eternity with Magnus and it would never be enough.

His nose wrinkles when he feels Magnus brush it with his own, pulling him away from his thoughts. Easing away the tiniest bit, Alec opens his eyes to stare up at his boyfriend.

He sees bright eyes and artfully done makeup. He sees intelligence and wit and so much warmth that it reaches out, wraps around Alec’s bones until he figures he’ll never be cold again.

He sees his life, so much different than it was a few years ago. The tour is bigger, the stakes always higher. The man in front of him is his solace, though, his eye of the storm.

Magnus is everything to Alec and his chest cracks open at the knowledge.

His breath fractures and Alec’s mouth kicks up. “I’ve never done this before, you know.”

Making some noise of confusion, Magnus strokes along the back of Alec’s neck with a raised brow.

“I’m notorious for tour being no strings attached.”

“Yes, I’d heard,” Magnus replies dryly.

Glaring without heat, Alec runs his hands down Magnus’s thighs. “I just want to be sure that you know this is a first for me, too. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.” Looking up, his smile is small and barely there when he asks, “Just don’t forget about me, okay?”

Magnus is quiet for a moment and Alec sees something shift in his expression, too quick for him to pin down, before it settles into humor. “I’ll make you a deal,” his boyfriend says lowly. “I won’t forget about you as long as you don’t forget about me.”

“Not a chance in hell, Magnus. I couldn’t forget about you if I tried.” His voice drops to a whisper as he adds, “You’re it for me, babe.”

Tension ratchets up, a heady promise. Before their lips can connect-- before they can say another word-- the door to the dressing room is flying open and Lydia’s walking in, phone to her ear as she scowls at the two of them.

Magnus climbs off Alec and he shakes his head, laughing to himself as Alec lets him go but not without sweeping a hand over his ass. Magnus sends him a wry look he pretends not to catch.

Lydia hangs up and shoves her phone in to her pocket before giving both of them a once over. “How are you feeling Alec? It’s forty five minutes to show time.”

Alec’s reply is easy as he answers, “Never been better,” with a surreptitious wink in Magnus’s direction.

It’s Lydia who rolls her eyes but she only maintains her stern look for a few seconds before she eases into a grin. She walks over to him, spins him around until he’s facing the vanity mirror once again. The lights are bright as she slaps her hands on top of his shoulders and meets his eyes through the glass.

“Ready for another go around the block?”

Alec grins. “You know it.”

Lydia laughs, patting his shoulder a few times before stepping back. “Get ready then,” she scolds goodnaturedly. “Simon’s killing it out there and the crowd is definitely ready for you.”

She leaves just a few moments later, waving at Magnus on her way out.

Alec looks up, meets Magnus’s eyes. “What were your plans until the concert started?”

“Why,” Magnus asks, standing from where he’d been relaxing on the couch.

Arching a brow, Alec reaches for the eyeliner. When he waves it, there’s a challenge heating his eyes. “Thought you might want to make yourself useful.”

Magnus laughs as he takes the few strides over to the vanity. He plucks the eyeliner out of Alec’s hand before flicking him on the shoulder. “Oh,” he asks idly. “I thought you had people for that?”

Shrugging a little, Alec nudges Magnus’s shoe with his own as his chair is spun around yet again. “If I feel like makeup, I usually do it. I already have a wardrobe designer on tour. No need for a makeup artist too whenever the most I ever do is, like, eyeliner.”

“Well, then,” Magnus says archly. “Say no more, darling.”

The next few minutes pass silently. Alec’s breath catches in his chest as Magnus leans close, as he follows murmured directions to close his eyes. His breath shudders out and Alec smells the whiskey on Magnus’s breath and he laughs a little, stills almost immediately after hushed orders not to mess up his boyfriend’s work.

Magnus pulls back but Alec still doesn’t open his eyes. Instead, he sighs as he feels Magnus’s hand sweep over a brow and down his cheek.

“Beautiful,” Magnus whispers and when Alec opens his eyes it’s to see his boyfriend leveling him with a stare, intent.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Alec demurs and then he’s laughing out loud as Magnus harrumphs, as he shoves playfully at his shoulder.

Someone knocks on the door and it’s the costume designer with his outfit for the night. Magnus acknowledges her and then his train of thought’s lost as Magnus pulls him in for a smacking kiss before grabbing the glass he’d left on the vanity and starting toward the door.

Looking over his shoulder, Magnus says, “I’ll let you get changed in peace. See you later.”

Alec nods back and then the costume designer’s closing the door and motioning for Alec to undress while she unzips the garment bag.

Alec rakes a critical gaze over the finished suit and he’s pleased with the result. It was linen and the button down that accompanied it was almost see-through, easily breathable for whenever the stage inevitably grew too warm.

The turquoise tone is warm against his skin and, deciding to take a page out of his boyfriend’s book, Alec leaves a few buttons undone.

After making sure all’s well, the designer leaves and Alec’s left alone. He only has fifteen minutes or so before it’s time to take his place and mic up and Alec breathes deep in the quiet of his dressing room.

Leaning down until he rests flat palms against the counter, Alec leans close to the mirror, stares into his own kohl-rimmed eyes, runs his gaze over a perfect complexion thanks to stage makeup and last night’s face mask.

He’s twenty seven and at the top of his game. His tour is sold out-- every date, every venue. There’s fifteen thousand people waiting just outside these doors to see him, to hear his music, to have a night that they’ll always remember.

It’s heady and overwhelming in the best goddamn way.

He smiles a little, tracks the shift of expression in the mirror. He’s done this a thousand times and if he has anything to say about it, he will a thousand more. Magnus is his constant and even if he’s in a different city every night, he hopes he can be the same for his boyfriend.

“Let’s do this,” he says under his breath.

Turning, Alec’s left his dressing room and is just about to make the final turn to where the stage is when someone wraps a hand around his arm. Alec looks over his shoulder, expecting a tech with panic in their eyes from an impending disaster that’s always in the periphery of tour. Instead, he sees a man that fills his mouth with a sour taste.

“What the hell are you doing here,” Alec hisses before wrenching his arm free.

Jordan raises his hands in an appeasing move. “There was a time I was on the standing invitation list.”

“Yeah, well, those days are over,” Alec snaps back. “How the fuck did you get through security?”

“I have my ways,” Jordan replies slyly but when Alec doesn’t say anything, just stares at him without flinching, the man begrudgingly adds, “I may have bribed Raj.”

“Fucking Raj.” Alec curses viciously under his breath before glaring at Jordan. “You need to leave.”

Jordan ignores the threat in Alec’s eyes. He moves closer until he’s just in front of Alec and Alec’s gut twists at the lascivious once over he’s treated to.

“We had some great times last tour, Alec. I didn’t think it was out of the question to think we might have a few more this time around.”

“You thought wrong,” Alec grits out.

He doesn’t have a chance to say anything else before Jordan reaches out, trailing a finger over his open shirt. The bastard has a spare second to dip below the linen before Alec snatches his hand, tightening his fist around it.

“In case you’ve been living under a rock, I’m taken.” Alec’s voice is low, feels forced from his throat.

To his frustration, Jordan doesn’t back off, just smiles and it’s smarmy. Alec’s left feeling distinctly unclean at the fact that he let the man anywhere near him once upon a time. Exasperated, he reflects that he’d had no idea Jordan would take his ignoring his calls so ill-mannerly.

“You were always up for a good time, Lightwood. Don’t tell me that’s changed now.”

Alec smiles but it’s cold. “Oh no, I’m still always up for a good time. It’s just that now I have my fun with my boyfriend. Magnus.”

Jordan’s stare is incredulous when it lands on him, when it lifts from his chest. “You can’t really expect me to believe that, can you? Alec Lightwood’s, what? You’re monogamous now? A one man kind of guy? I call bullshit. There’s no way-- especially when you have tour about to start.”

“I don’t give a good goddamn what you think, Jordan. All you need to know is the last time we fucked, it was the last. I don’t cheat and I don’t lie. Now I suggest you leave before I really get angry.”

Alec twists his hand, and he’s gratified to hear Jordan’s little grunt of pain before he’s moving smoothly back, just in time for security to come barreling up to him. With a curt nod, Alec lets them have Jordan, who’s cursing him as he’s taken to the exit.

“Hawkblue,” Alec calls out, not looking back to his Head of Security.

“Yes, boss?”

“Raj won’t be here when I get to the venue tomorrow. Got it?”

There’s a beat of silence before Jessica’s answers smoothly. “Whatever you say, boss.”

Alec’s mouth twists in a wry grin and as he looks down at his watch, he curses as he sees there’s only five minutes until the concert starts. Right on time, the lights outside in the audience go out and the shrieks are almost enough to make his ears bleed.

God, he loves it.

Turning on his heel, Alec’s just set to hurry to get his mic and earpieces. He stumbles to a stop when he sees the person casually leaning against the wall, arm crossed, watching him silently.

“Magnus,” Alec greets. He wracks his brain for any hint of when his boyfriend might have joined the scene. “What’s up?”

He watches as Magnus’s mouth kicks up before he’s straightening. When Alec reaches him, Magnus still hasn’t said anything and then he’s grabbing Alec by the lapels and pulling him close for a searing kiss that launches Alec’s brain offline.

When Magnus ends the kiss, they’re both breathing hard and Magnus is grinning when he says, “I like this suit, darling.”

“Yeah,” Alec breathes in the space between their mouths.

“Oh yeah,” Magnus echoes and then he’s pulling Alec in for a lingering kiss that’s twice as intent as the first. “Break a leg.”

And then Magnus is shoving him away, towards the stage. On the clock visible behind the stage, Alec sees he has two minutes to mic up and he’s cursing and laughing as he turns to the sound tech that’s waiting impatiently at the edge of the stage.

“Alexander.”

Alec takes the mic pack as he looks over his shoulder to see Magnus studying him intently.

“Yeah, babe,” Alec asks when the silence stretches between them.

Magnus’s grin is wicked, a little sharp, as he merely offers, “I like you taken.”

It takes Alec a second to place the words and when he does, his eyes widen before he’s grimacing. He takes a sharper look at Magnus but his boyfriend looks perfectly unperturbed. Deciding to trust his gut, Alec shoots back, “Then it's a good thing that I like being taken.”

Magnus’s expression lightens and then they’re both laughing and Alec swears that if he wasn’t about to walk out on stage in front of thousands of people that he’d haul Magnus close and never let go.

He sees the rueful acknowledgement in Magnus’s eyes and then the crowd just yards away is absolutely losing their minds as the timer on stage starts blinking a row of zeroes.

Showtime.

Alec shoves his earpieces in and strides out to his mark. Everything falls away except the chants of the crowd, their screams, their love and support and fury that never stops making his chest ache under the onslaught.

The opening notes to his latest single starts and Alec picks up the mic and hits his cue dead on.

The lights come up, bathing him in warm golds and blues. He can only see the first few rows from his vantage point and as he nears the edge of the stage he looks down into the grinning faces of his family as they sing along to his music in the front row.

The crowd is an echoing cry and he sees countless phone lights in a veritable sea of fans. He pulls the mic away from his face at the last chorus and it’s only a little bit to catch his breath.

He’s stunned but unsurprised when the crowd fills the stadium, singing his words back to him, following his melody until it feels like the venue will collapse under the weight of it all.

Alec feels on top of the world and when he turns his face away from the crowd and looks to the side of the stage, he sees Magnus singing along, too, and his heart feels fit enough to burst inside his chest.

He wonders how a body’s meant to contain it all. He feels happy and full and like every damn dream he’s ever had has come true.

He smiles at Magnus, nods in a gesture that he knows is arrogant and cocksure but he just can’t help himself.

Magnus laughs and dances a little in his place and Alec swallows hard as he turns to look back at the blinding crowd.

He’s on top of the world and there’s not a fucking thing he’d change about it all.

Every failure, every nerve-wracking bit of doubt has brought him here and it coalesces in Alec’s chest, makes him shudder on the pedestal that he’s by turns resented and yearned for since the start. He’s luckier than most, Alec reflects, and he still has his whole life ahead of him.

With Magnus at his side, Alec knows anything’s possible.

As he brings his mic back up, as the song transitions into what will be his next single in the fall-- and hadn’t that music video with Magnus been a blast to film-- Alec lets it wrap around him, gives himself up to the feelings crashing through him.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.