#totally correct a-team quotes

[introvertpanda]

The A-Team

S05E09 - Point of No Return

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Penelope: What are our liabilities?

Dimitri: There is only one entrance to the prison, and it is guarded by... sixty guards.

Penelope: ...What are our assets?

Dimitri: Your brain. The Panda Dude's brawn. The Guru's mojo. And my bling.

Penelope: We're doomed.

[cyanityy]

I'm hopping on the Bully OC bandwagon and introducing my Jockie girl - Sonya Schmidt!

As you can tell, she's not your conventional girly cheerleader, in fact, her interests are set on cars, bikes and other such automobiles

Gets along with Mandy out of both spite and fear that she'll reject her from the cheerleading team

because of this, she's constantly correcting her behaviour ["I don't know..blue or pink? maybe pink.."]

Other conversation quotes include: "When will messy buns look chic?" "I'm a total fraud!" "I'd never date a greaser but if I had to choose, it would be..."

Please feel free to interact with her!!

[punkpandapatrixk]

💫Current aenergy Check-In ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

You’re done learning, right? Where are you going? What are you getting? Your wish fulfilment, your karmic/cosmic rewards, your Life Purpose and self-actualisation, your raison d'être; everything becomes ever clearer from here.

Just a reminder, the term ‘Life Purpose’ may seem heavy and serious and all, but the truth of the matter is, everybody’s purpose for being born here is to remember to have a good time! Time you stopped being a slave to the pigs of capitalism XD

In you lies the power to cause a miracle to stir🍻

Miracles for all begin when a bunch of individuals believe in their innate magick. As the percentage goes up the whole world gets lifted. If this reading has appeared in your Interface of Reality, know that you’re well on your way to manifesting your Highest Intended Good.

The peeps who are going to resonate most with this PAC are probably those that have been walking a thorny path of spiritual awakening. You’ve sacrificed so much just for Humanity; damn, this world doesn’t even deserve a Soul like yours. But your happiness is just about to burst like crazy.

And even in your living your happy life you’re serving this Matrix. When you’re happy and spiritually fulfilled, the sounds, the cheers that you make, will echo throughout the world. This Matrix becomes a happier place with more happy people in it.

Where are you going? What are you getting? I didn’t put a year on this reading, so that whenever you find this in the future, that’s the timeline you’re on~

SONG: この星のどこかで (kono hoshi no dokoka de; Somewhere in This Star) from DORAEMON Nobita’s Legend of the Sun King

MOVIES: The Lord of the Rings trilogy LMAO

deck-bottom: Page of Pentacles Rx, Gold Physician (Hippocrates), Priestess of Wishes

[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]

☆��°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – It’s Perfectly Safe to Follow the Love in Your Heart

VIBE: Merry & Pippin, Arwen

how you’re doing so far – Knight of Cups

Of all the Piles, you seem to have been on a strict path of following your heart. It’s like, you’ve been being showered by so many signs and synchronicities by your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides. I’m not sure if this is because you came from a rather lax background or if you’ve had to fight for your freedom, but you’ve definitely been following your heart towards a sense of autonomy.

The thing is, that adventurer spirit of yours might have caused you to come face to face with some dangerous situations or perhaps you’ve been met with some catastrophic failures along the way. I think you became somewhat scared of following your heart now due to such past experiences. You know there’s that quote that says: ‘I’m not following my heart anymore. That bitch gives bad directions.’

Up until fairly recently you could’ve thought like that, for a bit maybe. But I think you know deep down that such a statement is not entirely correct. I think you know that following your heart, although it’s met you with some crazy adventures, has shown you the path to total liberation. Aren’t you glad you’ve been able to carve out an existence of your own~?

rest of the year – Ace of Pentacles Rx

This card being in reverse, one might think… ‘What? I won’t have money until the rest of the year?!’ It’s not like that. This is saying you’ve paid everything forward. For a number of years now you’ve been working so hard on all planes of your existence. It’s unimaginable to most people just how much ‘work’ you’ve worked to make things work! They’ll never understand it because in their eyes, there hasn’t been much, if at all, result that you’ve managed to produce.

It kinda didn’t make sense just how little the Universe was giving you for all the spiritual and inner work you’ve done on yourself. I think you could’ve felt cursed or something. Abandoned by all the forces of Light or something. So, I don’t know why it’s had to be like that, maybe some spiritual challenge or another, but you’ve paid all of that hard work in advance. Your good will didn’t go unnoticed, OK? All that you’ve prayed for and dreamt of, the Universe has a record of all of that.

The rest of this year? Please don’t work hard anymore. Don’t be afraid of the other shoe dropping. You’ve paid it all forward. The rest of this year is where your story takes a turn. Your riches are coming effortlessly. You can eat all you want when you want. You can sleep as much as you want to recover from prolonged stress. You can simply blink and your money bags are still going to refill faster than you can spend. Rejoice, baby~!

where you’re going from here – King of Swords Rx

It seems to me that your ‘previous Life’ was one where you had to live with the utmost logic. You thought and analysed everything so hard. You played by the book. You followed all the rules. You were a law-abiding citizen. But logic…I think now you know that logic only gets in the way of magic. That’s what your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides wanted you to unlearn.

I know it’s been so hard, but it all ends here. You’ve graduated all of those hard lessons of unlearning and relearning what it means to be a Divine Human on Gaia. You’ve learnt to trust yourself! You’ve learnt to distinguish between your ego misleading you and your heart guiding you. There is so much that you can teach other people, you know. Teach them how to navigate their fears. And you’re an example of how that can be done, because you’ve crawled through hell and back again triumphant.

From here, your Life will be nothing short of magical events and encounters back-to-back again. You’re back on your natural high-frequency again. Welcome back. In fact, it’s already playing out serendipitously in recent weeks, hasn’t it? Do not fear the other shoe dropping; you’re floating now! It’s safe for you to glide where your heart is guiding you~ This is exactly where your story takes a turn. Congratulations, Champion!

CURRENTS🔻🧡

fare thee well – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)

Life’s grand adventures – Priestess of Inspiration

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Don’t You See the Sun Already Peeking from Your Window?

VIBE: Sam & Frodo, Galadriel

how you’re doing so far – XIX The Sun Rx

‘Bad things only happen to me because I’m the main character, so it’s only part of the plot.’ This is the first thing that comes to mind as I tap into your aenergy. My gosh, this card here is telling me you haven’t had a single day of sunshine for a stupidly long time. You’ve had to go through a Sam & Frodo arc, it seems. Walking barefoot to Mordor to destroy some evil old paradigm that you’ve likely inherited from a stupid part of your bloodline.

An ancestor some lines back, some time, some when, some where, fucked up big time and you’re fixing shit for everybody. Just like those little Hobbits who totally ain’t got any relation to some war 3000 years prior but they’re the ones suffering the MOST the entire story! XD It’s kinda been like that for you for some time now. My god, I feel for you! But, the fact that this card has appeared here only means that things are turning around for you :D Your eternal sunshine is rising!

Well, haven’t you noticed that its ray can already be seen from your window? Hasn’t it got warmer even the slightest bit now? Things have gotten significantly easier even if they’re only small improvements, right? You’re currently travelling back to Rivendell on the backs of the Great Eagles. It’s easy-peasy from now. You can relax. Take a deep breath. Breathe in that chlorophyll from the Nature around you~! XD

rest of the year – 5 of Pentacles

What a strange card to appear here, but this is essentially saying that you’re rebuilding what’s been broken and reclaiming what’s been stolen. Your whole world—your ‘normal’—was destroyed by some forces and you had to unlearn what you took for granted as ‘reality’, and again, relearn what it means to be a Divine You whilst existing in society. All that was destroyed, stolen from you…none of it was the real you anyway. So it’s okay that it all disappeared.

You were able to discover the pure gem that is the real you that was hidden beneath those ‘identities’, habits, customs, norms, and everything else you were told you should be, when in reality, you were always somewhat different somewhere deep in your psyche. You weren’t like everybody else and you didn’t even want the things they wanted. But you conformed because it was a matter of survival.

Rest of this year, you’re still going to heal from all of that bullshit. More like, healing from the aftermath of fighting for your true Divine Identity as your I AM essence. The rest of the year, you’re healing more than doing or jumping to the next adventure. All good Souls deserve a good rest after a good battle! You’ve won against the Matrix; you’ve won against society and/or tradition. For now, celebrate this huge win~

where you’re going from here – Ace of Cups Rx

After this healing period, I see that you’re only beginning to find your bearing again in the world. It’s OK that these things take time. All good things take time to rebuild. If you want to speed up your manifestation with subliminals, try those that contain perfect self-concept affirmations to solidify your sense of self-worth ;P The Sun is rising and it’s getting brighter and bigger in your world.

Soon, you won’t even remember being this gloomy creature that you’ve been for a while. I see that in time, you’ll find yourself being creative again, being motivated, and clear about what you want and can do in this world. So many of your natural talents are going to burst out of you, making you work endlessly for a goal that truly matters. So as you can see, cherish this healing phase.

The solitude you’re in now is serving your highest good. This time is making space for you to heal, rehab, grow (or grow back), and release even more remnants of your old self, old world. This isn’t going to last forever and if you can heal in quiet, isn’t that ideal? Nobody’s gonna know you in this healing phase that sometimes can get a little awkward, cringe, or downright ugly XD

CURRENTS🔻💙

fare thee well – Silver Astrologer (John Dee)

Life’s grand adventures – Priestess of Healing

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – In the Full Embrace of Your Higher Self, Spirit Guides and Cosmic Ancestors, Go Forward!

VIBE: Aragorn & Legolas, Gandalf the White

how you’re doing so far – 4 of Swords Rx

Of all the Piles, yours carries the strongest feeling of ‘action’. You’re being carried somewhere more suitable for your frequency. In many ways, you’re also being carried where you’re needed. This can differ for everybody but the majority of you will still feel a sense of calm and belonging though. So it isn’t like you’re being thrown into a war zone just because you have the capacity to fend off enemies or heal wounded soldiers XD

Not like that. Not really. This aenergy is a bit convoluted… But basically, up until now you’ve been a fighter of sort, just like Aragorn, Legolas and Gandalf. Fighting for something important, defending causes that matter. Up until then, you were Gandalf the Grey, and then at some point you died, and now you’ve been reborn as Gandalf the White. That’s about the gist of how you’ve been doing.

Sooner than later, the forces of the Universe are going to make you move places or jobs. There’s a strong sense of being moved to a different location. But if that doesn’t resonate, you could be improving your house or like there’s this sense of a change of scenery, one way or another. It’s deeply needed. You’ve been breathing in muddy waters, you know.

rest of the year – XX The Last Judgement Rx

The fact that your cards are all in reverse is indicating a waiting period until you’re thrown into your next mission. Yeah, like Gandalf the Grey in waiting to become Gandalf the White. Rest of the year you’re gaining momentum. I think you could be hearing some good news from something you’ve applied for? Or this could signify the advent of a once-in-a-lifetime kind of opportunity suddenly presenting itself to you.

The clarion call is clarioning LOL This is why I think you’re being called to a different place, but if not, then a higher plane of existence. So this could also mean a job promotion or a new, improved way to earn your keep. There is a sense of finally serving your highest purpose with a talent or spiritual gift you’ve been refining, polishing in recent years. You could be healing people in ways that don’t necessarily look like ‘healing’.

You know? You could be elevating other people’s spirits and helping them transmute their own bullshit by just allowing them to connect or work with you. If this is your main pile, you’re definitely an aenergy worker. A spirit worker. Maybe even a miracle worker. All thanks to your insanely high-frequency. Babe, you ain’t even in this realm anymore XD

where you’re going from here – Page of Cups

I feel very strongly that you’re someone who possesses wisdom beyond the mundane. You’re practical, you’re sensible, but you’re so Universal that all your wisdom is timeless. You’re someone who has the ability to connect with all peoples; young and old, female and male, rich and poor, famous and regular, what have you. Your words reverberate through the ages.

I feel that you’re somebody who holds timeless wisdom and not just ancient or occult. Your highest religion, so to speak, is Love and Respect for all people. So, no matter what you have to say and share with the world, most people will be able to see that you come from the highest place of Love. That you possess the desire to heal and empower all people.

That said, you’re going to be put in a place where you can connect with all kinds of people, all for you to inspire Love in them. Yes, Love, and it comes in all kinds of different ways, right? First and foremost, I see that you’re someone who can teach people how to love themselves first. How they can expect more, better, for themselves. And only true Love can provide that sense of fulfilment.

Old people are going to be rejuvenated by you. Young people are going to be inspired by you. That’s your superpower that needs to be witnessed by the world <3

CURRENTS🔻💚

fare thee well – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)

Life’s grand adventures – Priestess of Contemplation

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]

[itsclydebitches]

ted's, "it's not about me. it never was"

and all I felt from trent was, "oh, but it was"

I thought trent was going to stick to his word and tell ted why he was wrong...

but I guess ted just summed up his outlook and something trent so loves him for, so trent couldn't deny ted's wish. but there's got to be a future out there where, while still published as "the richmond way," trent still goes on and tells ted why, for trent, ted was entirely wrong about that.

I feel like in the show I want Ted Lasso to be -- and, crucially, the show I thought it was; the show it arguably should have been based on every other episode that came before this -- Trent would have corrected him. Because this is not an acknowledgement that Richmond doesn't belong to Ted, or even Rebecca, which is a reminder that I like. Ted allowing the fans to sit in on the practices and Rebecca selling portions of the club to people like Mae highlights the heart of the team, that this club "means something" to the community, to quote Trent. However, the book is explicitly, specifically about this particular season of football and how Richmond came to have their Cinderella moment... which is all due to Ted. I get why "Believe" is framed as the fourth factor in Total Football (and frankly I think it would have been a better title for Trent's book if he had to reject The Lasso Way), but belief is only the end result of the work Ted has done. Anyone could have waltzed into Richmond and said, "Believe in yourself!" but it wouldn't have done a damn thing because it was the unique approach of The Lasso Way that taught everyone what belief really means. Ted is the fourth aspect because it is only through his methods that generic concepts like Belief, Friendship, Trust, Compassion, etc. become understood well enough to be implemented despite the obstacles.

So yes, I think Ted is wrong. Trent isn't arguing that Richmond belongs to him, he's arguing that Ted irrevocably changed Richmond for the better... which is true. But the finale doesn't commit to that argument because, frankly, the finale commits to VERY little that the rest of the show lays out.

Ted Lasso spent its whole runtime arguing for Roy/Keeley and then dodged it at the last moment.

The finale argues strongly that Rebecca is already a metaphorical mom to the team and the fans, but then throws in a literal, blonde-haired blue-eyed daughter in at the last second.

The show has consistently framed Beard/Jane as an abusive relationship -- from Higgins intervention to Beard talking to God about his addiction to "pain" -- but the finale irrevocably fames this as true love instead.

Our wonderful queer plot-line made it clear that Colin was too scared to kiss his fellow after a game because that would out him as the only pro, queer footballer... and then he just does it anyway. Which I'm not upset about on its own, to be clear, rather I'm upset that there was no setup for why Colin's feelings changed; why he's suddenly willing to shoulder an understandable, HUGE downside.

The finale argues VERY strongly that Ted should not go back to Kansas. In fact, I plan to write a whole damn essay on that. He's clearly not himself, Rebecca is begging him to stay, Beard is staying and is in tears over the idea of betraying him, they haven't won the whole thing yet which provides a practical reason for him to stick around, Ted literally questions whether he's making a foolish, horrible choice as he's sitting on the plane... and then he does it anyway.

This finale is chock-full of choices that don't match up with what the rest of Ted Lasso has written, or even something from earlier in the finale itself. When Trent says that he's going to push back against any criticisms and explain why they're wrong, outside of the jokey "I'm a passionate writer, an ~artist, who is a little on the arrogant side," it sets up a moment for Trent to indeed correct one of them about their view of the book. After all, he's been the observer all season and arguably has a more objective understanding of what's been happening around him than they do. We've already seen it! Trent stops Ted and (accurately) explains how no, he hasn't changed tactics. You've been doing this for three years. I can see that even when you can't.

The show sets up the moment where Trent will explain that Ted is the foundation of Richmond's success and, presumably, helping him come to terms with staying here.

... and then we never got that.

There were honestly so many parts of the finale that I loved, but most of them were details like the Sound of Music farewell, or putting the "Believe" sign back together. Structurally, one of the few things I really bought into was the team winning the West Ham match and losing the league... which was unfortunately soured after the fact because that now reads as the PERFECT excuse for Ted to stay another season, yet he doesn't. I'm trying so hard not to read the whole thing pessimistically given how many of those details I loved, but when the core plot of the episode has so many problems, damn is it difficult. Other than Rebecca, it felt like the whole cast, Trent included, just gave up on Ted and given my very strong feelings about Kansas I wanted to shake the episode by the shoulders and go, "Stop acting as if this is a good thing just because this is what the writers originally planned! Did you learn nothing from HIMYM??" There are these moments, like with the book note, where you get this sense that everyone is respecting Ted's wishes, but that they thoroughly disagree with them, and the show never hits the point where Ted's viewpoint is appropriately challenged in a way that would make him reconsider. Despite the fact that Ted is a character who frequently needs to be challenged due to limited, inaccurate perspectives brought on by his anxiety (this season gave us "Find out before you freak out" as a big example). I legit had hope for a moment when Sharon showed up, thinking that Ted's therapist of all people would be able to articulate why giving up his family/support system to play his mother's approved version of fatherhood might not be the best decision... but, like so many other aspects, her return didn't amount to anything other than a wholesome callback.

It's a tragedy, frankly. As in, the genre definition. Everyone in the Ted Lasso cast is living the Rom-Com ending of found family, new romantic relationships, and bright, happy, humorous moments... except for Ted himself, staring pensively into the camera as he comes full circle, back to where he began. Back in Kansas. Back (non-romantically) with a woman who doesn't like him very much. Back trying to be a perfect father because that's what's expected of him + that's what his trauma demands of him. And now he's dealing with Jack, no Beard, no American football, no professional soccer, no visits as the rest of his family undergoes major life changes. Just Henry and the reminders from Season One that you're allowed to be a goldfish. After all that growth Ted has gone backwards.

I said before that obviously they were setting up the Kansas ending -- I'm not saying it came out of nowhere, not at all -- but I really don't understand how anyone can watch that and not feel depressed as hell about it. Ted Lasso is a show that consistently left me feeling good and hopeful and nearly giddy with pleasure. It says something that after finishing yesterday I mostly just felt hollow.

[seokka0o]

please excuse me and my slut behavior, but what are your thoughts on &team and nipple play?

&team and nipple play [Headcanon]

[♡] &team legal line x Afabreader

[♡] Contain: smut, nipple play, perv ej, lactation kink (Nicholas), protected sex ♡

[♡] hope enjoy ♡

[♡] this is +18 content and purely fictional, not intended to offend anyone. read with descriptions. Minors do not interact.

K

You must already be having sex

Or sharing a very intimate moment for K to show his true face

Usually he's not one to say anything, about his obsession

But let's say you're doing something

He's right inside you

As you ride him

You already out of your breath moaning to the four corner

And then he remembers what he has in his hand,

because K likes to piss you off.

Soon he is well aware and twisting your nipples over his fingers without any mercy

wanting to torture you

So he can feel inside

You pulsing around his dick and take all your posture

"So you like it, huh?"

Then focus all attention on the stimulus in that region,

playing with mouth and fingers

Biting around the entire region of your ribcage

Marking only to return to your nipples and enter the greatest delicacy in your movements

"Can you come with just that?"

Yes, you can do it and as he is very smart, he took great care with his movements

Assisting all your pleasure that arrived quickly

FUMA

Fuma has his methods

If he wants to convince you to have sex with him

He will start sucking on your tits

Because it is a sensitive region

Because he loves to suck your nipples

And because it is a technique that never fails

It always starts out very simple

He comes to you like someone who doesn't want anything

While you're on your phone

Fuma comes and lies down beside you

He slides a hand under your shirt and cups one of your breasts.

You usually think it's for comfort

Sometimes Fuma does this when he's bored

But he interested in something else start stroking the region

Squeezing against his hand

Soon using thumb and forefinger to play with your nipple

"F-Fuma…" you're trying not to moan but he's into it

He just looks at you and smiles all cute as he is and lifts your shirt

just enough to let your breasts show

Taking your attention away from the phone

Placing himself between your legs for greater comfort so he doesn't take long to find his fingers with the other nipple.

So he can now focus his mouth on the other

Circling the beak with the tongue, sucking right after

You are a little confused, feeling the stimuli strongly

Moaning softly for the moment and feeling his growing erection leaning close to your intimacy because he was right above,

Playing with your nipples

NICHOLAS

Talking about Nicholas and his needs confuses me.

Because I have two views about him and I don't know which would be the most correct to quote

he is very messy

which ends up putting in my head that he would love a s/o that releases milk from the breasts

Because then he could make a total mess of squeezing and sucking your tits

Nicholas likes this, this more unfiltered sex

Rough? Yes that's right

He could do this regardless of whether you are having sex or not.

Nicholas likes the feeling of being able to play with your boobs

and still have the happiness of receiving milk in return

So it turns out that he won't leave you alone for nothing

Completely addicted to picking you up from any corner of the house and squeezing you, playing

Hope you like this a lot

because he loves

Nicholas can't help but get hard listening to you moan or squirm under his touch.

If you happen to be a parent and then he suddenly sees your shirt wet from leaking milk

"Oh please y/n I'll be kind..." ; "Nicho is for my babie.." ; "your babie don't will drink all this...I'm begging"

Get ready he's going to go crazy

As if hypnotized and then beg to suck them

So solve your problem.

EJ

Euijoo, this man is a pervert

He can't even contain just looking at your nipples

Or breasts showing on the shirt

He gets hard easy

Even more so when it comes to your boobs

Everything he wants to do he always keeps it very deep in the back of his mind.

Euijoo likes to look at you

Even before you allow such an act

He already dreamed of playing with your nipples madly

And when the opportunity arises to touch you

He feels like he might fall lifeless to the ground

His touches are simple

Euijoo likes to feel everything with clothes on first

Touching you like this is part of his process

As soon as the person's clothes are removed,

he feels like he is in heaven.

fixed

Being so gentle by twisting your nipples

"Euijoo baby, you put your mouth if you want"

Then he might want to cry

Pale for the opportunity to be able to suck your nipples

The delicacy besides being a good stimulus makes you tickle

What ends up getting good reactions from you

Something that pleases him a lot, because hearing you moan or make any unusual sound

just to inspire him

Ej treats every time like it's the first time

He takes as much as he can of all your flavor

[crescent-lockhart97]

Random First Class Trio + Zack Headcanons #3: Crack Version

Angeal:

His favorite workout song is "YMCA" by Village People.

He's definitely knocked out Wutai soldiers like this:

Somebody once mistook him as Zack's father due to similarities in their features. He didn't even try to correct them.

His sneeze is louder than the Krakatoa explosion.

Rickrolled everyone by singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley at a company gala while he was drunk. (Sephiroth and Genesis didn't speak to him for a month. 💀💀)

Makes terrible dad jokes that even Zack cannot stomach. (He's definitely done that "Hi, hungry! I'm dad!" shit with Zack. 😂😂)

Genesis:

He is a big Fergie fan and knows her songs by heart. He can also rap that part in "Fergalicious."

He did an iconic dance number to "Umbrella" with Andrea Rhodea at the Honeybee Inn like this:

He also likes Lady Gaga and blasts "Bad Romance" every time he and Sephiroth spar with each other.

He hates horror movies. He's the loudest out of the trio when watching them (he's either screaming at the characters or at the monsters/ghosts).

Aside from LOVELESS, he also quotes "Mean Girls" on the regular. (Guess who he quotes the most... 😉😉)

Totally has a blog for Shinra blinds just because (basically who's dating or fucking who, juicy stuff on important Shinra officials and staff, etc.). He once published a blind on Rufus defacing one of President Shinra's statues with a drawing of a dick. No matter how many times Shinra has gotten it shut down, Genesis somehow manages to keep on reviving it. Recently, Kunsel and some members of Red Leather have joined his team.

Sephiroth:

Can't stand spicy food. He avoids it as much as he can. Eating spicy foods will cause his eyes to water and his nose to redden like this:

(Genesis managed to snap an unfortunate photo of him dying from the spiciness of the curry and sent it to the Silver Elite fanclub with the caption, "IS THIS YOUR KING???" 🤭🤭)

Somehow, he has the most wins in UNO and Monopoly.

Catwoman is his favorite DC character; Black Cat is his favorite Marvel character. (Gee, I wonder why... 🤔🤔)

Whenever he goes outside, a horde of cats just mysteriously flock to him. Genesis and Angeal find it both amusing and creepy. (My aunt is actually like this. Wherever she goes, cats mysteriously gather around her, it's so freaky! 😭😭😭)

He can actually do the lazy eye trick, and loves to freak Genesis out with it.

He once dressed as Sadako/Samara Morgan from "The Ring" for the Halloween costume contest... and WON.

Zack:

Has sung "Jenny" by The Click Five using a shortened version of Genesis's name to annoy him. ("I'm standing still, Genny!" "Be quiet, you overgrown mutt!" "You got me on my knees, Genny!")

(This ends up with Genesis summoning Ifrit on Zack's ass 😂😂)

He and Kunsel quote Vines all the time, usually around any of the First Class Trio or Lazard just so they could revel in their confused faces.

Zack and Kunsel: *to Angeal* You are my daaaaad! You're my dad! Boogie woogie woogie!!!

Angeal:

Once, after getting drunk during the SOLDIER game night, he and the lower-class SOLDIERs thought it was a good idea to go sledding down the building stairs, so they brought mattresses from their dorms to use as makeshift sleds. Needless to say, the infirmary reached full capacity that night.

On April Fools' Day, he somehow managed to hijack Shinra's PA system and started playing "Careless Whisper" on full blast.

He's a massive Pokémon fanboy and knows the Pokémon Theme Song by heart. In fact, he has his contacts named after Pokémon: Angeal is Machamp, Sephiroth is Mewtwo, Genesis is Charizard, Tseng is Umbreon, Aerith is Jigglypuff, Cloud is Pikachu, etc.

Threw an apple at Hojo and left a shitload of Legos all over his lab for subjecting Sephiroth to a particularly painful physical test.

[o-uncle-newt]

Yes, this is another rant about the Petherbridge/Walter Wimsey adaptation

Okay, to motivate myself to do other less fun things that are unfortunately on my to do list (which I am, of course, abandoning in order to write this) I've been skimming the series in small chunks today and I just got to the penultimate Peter/Harriet scene in Strong Poison- when Peter reveals to Harriet that Urquhart will be arrested and she will be freed.

In some ways it's a great scene- as are most of the Peter-Harriet scenes in Strong Poison (the final scene this episode is, of course, a travesty, but we'll get back to that). They're fun, they either are taken from the book or are pretty faithful to the characters/this imagining of them, and they're of course extremely well acted by our lead duo. As I've mentioned before, one of my favorite scenes in the show is one that was invented by the episode writer- the one where Harriet tells Peter "it would be awful if you were funny all the time, wouldn't it." It's just an excellent way of distilling a bunch of the book's subtext into one relatively short yet extremely effective scene, and in a way it shows that the creative team would seem to have had a really good understanding of the books.

So I rewatched this final jail scene, which I usually like, and which I'm overall entertained by- and realized that a scene that I'd largely enjoyed in previous viewings actually contains a sequence that basically sets up all of the problems with the later episodes. Like, maybe one or two of them are unrelated (their removing Lord Saint-George from Gaudy Night was a travesty in its own right) but most of them can be traced pretty directly back here:

To quote:

Peter: You are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, how else could I have behaved? Harriet: You're such a romantic, Peter. A sort of latter-day knight errant, searching for opportunities to perform deeds of valor, rescue damsels in distress- Peter (interrupting): What's wrong with that?

She goes on, of course, to continue to reject him, saying she's not ready for "another affair" (to which he corrects her- "marriage!"- and she says, in a line that I loved enough to put in a fic that I wrote, "marriage, affair, what's the difference- it's supposed to be about love, isn't it?") and that she's too tired to think and decide. But she never says what's wrong with the above description of Peter.

Now, there are two options when you have a scene like this. Either you treat it as a valid description of, and therefore a foreshadowing of, the main character and his upcoming arc in the story, OR you bring it up in order to subvert it. The show decides, for some reason, to do the former, and the book, of course, does something very different.

To be clear, in the book as well as the show this final jailhouse scene makes clear that Harriet will not marry Peter. And I actually think, interestingly, that it's for a similar reason, though in the book it's not explicitly stated- it's because Harriet doesn't love Peter. But the underlying issues are totally different, because in the show, Harriet refuses Peter's offer of either marriage or an affair because she's not ready and because she doesn't love him. But in the book, Harriet is willing to be Peter's mistress, but not to marry him- she says, because it will allow him to drop her whenever he tires of her. And between this and Gaudy Night, we get the idea that Harriet feels enough of a sense of obligation toward Peter that she will be with him out of that obligation, even though she doesn't love him.

I think it's a combination of these two things that sets the show on the wrong path- maybe because the right path would be unfilmable, but it still was wrong:

In the show, they decide that Harriet is only not with Peter at the end because she doesn't love him. They're compatible and he loves her, but she won't just fall into his arms just because he's rich and saved her life and she likes him, because she's a Strong and Independent Woman. That's what makes her, to the creators, a strong character- the classic "damsel in distress" usually marries the "knight errant," but Harriet won't without love- and having her go from liking him to loving him is the journey that she goes on over the course of the series.

In the book, Harriet is not with Peter at the end because Peter (finally!) recognizes that he's been badgering her and if she ended up with him it wouldn't be out of love but out of exhaustion and indebtedness, and he (selfishly, in a way) wants her to be with him because she loves him. Over the course of Have His Carcase, she realizes about herself that she felt that kind of indebted way to him and is disgusted with herself (and extends those feelings on to him, whether justly or not), with those emotions battling her growing actual attraction to him. The thing that makes her a strong character is that she only wants Peter on her own terms. She only wants him if she feels equal to him, not indebted to him, and (of course) in love with him. She feels the latter, of course, long before she feels the former, even if it's hard for her to realize it. (And, of course, part of feeling equal with him is building up her own self-worth, which had been dragged to the gutter by her ordeal.)

Effectively, the book is saying- as any fan knows- "their relationship was set up for failure because we have two strong people who, due to their roles in a massive disaster situation, are in a no-win situation- one is compelled to share his feelings and the other is compelled to reject them."

The SHOW, on the other hand, is saying "Peter and Harriet are suited for each other- they met in the wrong situation, but that's not unsurmountable. The problem is that she doesn't love him yet, so in the next two books we see their pathway to getting there." As with so many romance-type stories they accept the knight errant and damsel framing, the one that Sayers immediately discarded after realizing how little it suited these two people, as a framework for the rest of the show without really questioning its suitability- and the knight errant is meant to be continuing to come after the girl! That's why there's that horrendous final scene in Strong Poison. That's why Have His Carcase and Gaudy Night have Peter running after and confessing to Harriet so often- she needs to fall in love with him, and the only way for that to happen is for him to keep being around her and for her to see how great he is. Her own personal journey of self-growth isn't much of a factor- what she really needs to do is to learn more about him, get used to him, appreciate him, come to terms with him, and ultimately give way to him. With enough banter* and one-sided devotion, they'll fall in love- it's the classic romantic formula.

*Admittedly it's pretty great banter!

And that's why, however good the fight scene in Have His Carcase is, it always feels somewhat jarring- because it's one of the few real relics of the book's version of their romance that remain in the show! It's the only part that contradicts the rest of the show's thesis, which is that with enough time the damsel WILL end up loving the knight errant because they're right for each other. It's the only part that conveys any tension beyond basic frustration on Peter's part. If nothing else, it's the only part that grapples with one of the reasons why she DOESN'T love him, which is that he's a living reminder of one of the worst times of her life. That's before you get to all of the power imbalance stuff... and it actually backfires, almost, because before that you just have Peter pursuing Harriet but after you have Peter pursuing Harriet despite all of the power imbalance stuff! And it's still telegraphed on the show as a good thing, or at least not a bad one! It reinforces how Harriet's arc really is to be pursued until she finally cracks by seeing how noble Peter truly is.

(Usual disclaimer that I didn't rewatch Gaudy Night before writing this as I don't want to do that to myself, so any mistakes I make as a result are unavoidable and I appreciate any corrections.)

According to the show, there's nothing wrong with being a knight errant saving a damsel, so why not show it? According to the book, there isn't anything wrong with being the knight errant, but there is something wrong with then wanting to marry the damsel, because any damsel who would want to be married under those "circs" is not the right damsel for the knight. Even if Harriet HAD loved Peter immediately, it wouldn't have mattered because the ensuing relationship would have been imbalanced and she'd have felt that keenly, whether because she'd have felt so indebted that she'd feel at his mercy or because she'd always see them in the roles that they'd had at their first meeting.

One of these is definitely a richer text than the other, and I know which one that is, however much I may love Petherbridge and Walter in the roles.

[triplexdoublex]

Where did Megan say "it was a very emotional video for her to film"? I am in no way doubting you or your words. I love your blog, why would I? But I am trying to understand if she "speaks" in private with her fans (or at least if that's what they claim to). Or if they already wrote an article about it.

If she was, a lot would make sense. If she is actually was leaking infos, telling stories and possibily even starting rumors with fanpages, imagine what else she could actually be doing through her PR team!!! I would hope not this for her, imagine being a 38 yo woman with three sons who is supposed to be an A-lister trynna rage bait her man's fandom and stir shit up. Even local SoundCloud rappers side-chicks don't do this shit. I expect this behaviour from Nicky/ Nikki quoting his songs every 5 business days, not from her, "THE" MF, the 2009 bombshell. The only solution in these cases, would be to ignore them. Eventually they'll stop.

We already saw what she has done with her platform last year. God knows how many "fake friends/right people" she purposefully is speaking with just so they can leak stuff. If this was actually true, she would be a total menace, a ticking bomb waiting to explode. I am scared for his ass if he ever wakes up from the spell and decides to break up with her for good. It seems like she can leave him whenever she want and take breaks from him, but if he were ever to do the same, she'd make it her mission to destroy him and his image forever. Getting Amber Heard 2.0 vibes. He's living by the words "YOU'VE MADE YOUR BED, NOW LIE IN IT". His decade long player career is coming back to haunt him, tenfold. What kind of karmic debt is this? The only way I see him escaping unharmed (IF he ever wanted to or came back to his senses) is to tire her enough she just gives up... which I don't see him ever doing because he's love-starved and she love bombs him everytime she's back. I think weaponized "incompetence" (IDK how else to call it) might actually be his ticket out. Come on Kells, you can do it, "Just Do It" like shia labeouf did! Just Do It!

Virtual kisses and hugs to you and your lovely fam! I just know M. will be the most beautiful bride! Love.

First I just want to correct myself “she was very emotional when she LISTENED to the song” not filmed the video .I’ll only say every once in a while some limited anonymous info floats my way on here. but I did hear (I think somewhere on insta ) that she was in the music video.

Also thanks so much! Excited for the wedding!

[athletic-hotties3]

LAITH PT.2

Laith stood anxiously against the corner of a dirty bathroom stall door in the far back hall of the library. The lower walls and floor were covered in mystery stains and graphic drawings, a clear sign of the neglectful janitors of his university library. In truth not all bathrooms looked this seedy; causing Laith to wonder why his first assignment had chosen this one out of all of them.

He fumbled through the PACT app on his phone watching to time tick down to his arranged meetup through the dim shield of his motorcycle helmet visor. He checked the list once before he left making sure he wore all the correct items: his permitted motorcycle helmet, his riding leather jacket, the knee high socks he found pushed to the back of his drawer left by a previous hookup with a thing for socks, his converse sneakers, a pair of leather pants he bought on a whim one day to match his motorcycle jacket and finally his high school football team jockstrap under it all. He was surprised the jockstrap still fit after all these years, but not surprised by its smell. It was rank from sitting at the bottom of his dirty clothes bin for so long. Usually he would just throw it back into the laundry bin every time he had to wash clothes in fear that his flat mates would discover it in the dryer so it hadn’t been washed in a while. Still smelling of sweat and precum from his varsity days. Unpermitted by the app, he wore a red compression shirt he had gotten in the bottom of the app arrival box with the apps logo on it. It fit him well and showed off his physique so he figured it would go well with the rest of the shit they wanted him to wear. Plus there was no way he was gonna walk through campus in full leather with no shirt.

Lost in thought he hadn’t even noticed the man quietly swing open the bathroom door behind him. Before he heard him he felt the man’s large fingers slide over his shoulders and slowly find Laith’s nipples with a soft rub.

Laith jumped at the sudden touch letting out a small yelp.

“Shshshshhhh… it’s okay. Just stand there and be a good little slut for me.” The man said from behind Laith, pressing his body up against Laith’s back.

From what he could feel from the imprint slowly thrusting his waist into the ass of Laith, he could sense that the man was slightly shorter than him with a skinny yet toned frame. What he could feel the most was the monster hidden in his pants, its imprint sliding up and down the crack of Laith’s leather pants.

Laith, starved for touch after a few hours in chastity noticed his cock slightly chub up in his cage. The cage shortened his length even at flaccid making it a tight squeeze, so at erect there was no room to go. A warm swell of pain swam around Laith’s balls feeling his cock trying to escape from its cage. In response he let out a groan of pain and ecstasy.

“You’re a new one arn’t you…” the man said in a deep voice. “I can tell by the way you groan at your new cage and your refusal to follow dress code.”

Laith pushed off the man in confusion and quickly turned around. “What?!” He said angrily.

“Wait fuck. Are you the right guy? STUDENTATHLETE24? I swear if you’re not and the fucking fag blew me off I swear his rating is going to plummet.” The formally dressed man reached for the phone in his back pocket with frustration.

“No I am!” That’s me. STUDENTATHLETE24… see?” Laith held up his phone showing the identification card screen of the app. His app name and the photo of him in his cage large on the screen. His star rating not yet filled. “Sorry I just was confused I-…. You are right in new to this and to be honest I’m not one to take it up the ass dude. Plus I totally followed all of your dress code rules” Laith said dress code with air quotes mocking the stupidity of the entire thing.

“Yea. Your shirt. Not on the list so I’m afraid I might have to dock you a few points.” The man, which Laith remembered was named Cyphl from the app, slowly started to unbuckle his belt. “Unless you wanna make it up to me. I’m very forgiving.”

Laith studied the man, worried for what he might have to do next. The man looked in his mid 30s, porn mustache, stubble, dark salt and pepper hair. He wore dress pants, leather belt and shoes, a plaid dress shirt, glasses and a dark red tie. As Cyphl unbuttoned his pants furthering his naked agenda, Laith noticed the faculty badge swinging from the lanyard around his neck. Bingo. If he could let him know he was a student here maybe he might just wanna leave.

“So. You don’t like my shirt? Why don’t you come here and take it off me sport?” Laith said with a cringe under his visor, hearing some form of that line in a movie once and it working.

Cyphl’s pants his the floor exposing his cock. Like Laith had predicted earlier he seemed to be free balling, but what he hadn’t predicted was the size of it. He sensed it was large but nothing like what swung between Cyphl’s legs. Large, hairy, uncut and leaking precum.

Laith gulped nervously.

Cyphl walked over with a grin, his cock swinging between his legs as he did so, dripping white sticky fluid onto the floor. “So it seems like you’re more eager for my attention now that your stars are on the line. Judging by your current score im your first. I could condemn you to your cage right now if I wanted to.”

“Please don’t-“ Laith began to plead before Cyphl’s large hand aggressively cupped his crotch.

“Mmm they got you in a metal one too. Much more secure than the 3d printed ones they started out with.” Cyphl said with a grin on his face.

Laith let out a yelp, feeling the pain in his crotch swell up again. His cock forcefully pushed against the bars of its cage begging for the release of a full erection. His visor began to fog up with his hot nervous breath.

“I’ll let you keep your shirt on… your whole outfit on I quite like the whole college motorcyclist thing you got going on.” Cyphl said placing his hands on Laith’s shoulders. “Just get on your knees already.”

Laith felt Cyphl’s hands push down on his shoulders and with a gulp he felt the need to comply. He thought of the rating system on the app, needing to please the men he met with the hopes of getting out any time soon. Laith fell to his knees and looked up at the faculty member towering above him. He wasn’t used to being so out of power, so submissive. He gritted his teeth at the thought, his cock jumping at the sexual imagery.

“So you work here?” Laith said touching Cyphl’s faculty badge and examining the details. “Does it make you uncomfortable if I tell you I’m a student here?” Laith said grasping at ideas to make him turn away.

As the words slipped out of Laith’s mouth Cyphl’s cock grew larger and more erect, coming to a slow standstill pointing directly at Laith’s face.

“That’s why I use the app. I like knowing my students, other faculty, even some university higher up’s are just stupid cum sluts who can’t refuse serving me. There’s more than you think out there.” Cyphl grabbed the top ridges of Laith’s motorcycle helmet and firmly tilted his head back so that Laith was looking directly up to the ceiling. “You could be any one of my students, fuck I even found my TA on this app once. Shame that I had to rate him so low, but he made it up to me later after class.”

Laith’s body flushed red with embarrassment. He wasn’t a stupid cum slut like Cyphl was claiming he was. Fuck it he was more of a man than Cyphl would ever be. Taller, more muscular, probably fucked more people than Cyphl ever would.

“Let’s see if I recognize you…” Cyphl’s hand firmly gripped the bottom lip of Laith’s motorcar helmet visor.

“Wait I’m supposed to stay anonymous. You can’t see my face.” Laith pleaded swatting Cyphl’s hand away.

“You should have hopped on the other side of that glory hole in the stall your next to if you wanted to keep it that way sport. Yet your slut hole kept you in the open for exposure.” Cyphl with speed lifted up the visor on Laith’s helmet.

…

…

…

“Well. You’re not in any one of my classes.” Cyphl said with some displeasure in his tone.

“Sorry to disappoint I guess. What major you teach?” Laith said taking off his helmet fully and placing it on the ground next to him. His anonymous cover was already blown with this dick head so he might as well take the sweaty helmet off.

“Literary history.” Cyphl said his arms crossed. “You?”

“Pre med.” Laith said in relief.

Cyphl sat in his disappointment more than Laith did. Laith grinned seeing his way out.

“So are we done here? You don’t want me because I’m not one of your students?” Laith suggested motioning to the door.

“Yea umm… it’s a little disappointing.” Cyphl said with a sour face. “but I’m already here so why don’t you put those cock sucking lips around my cock before that cage gets locked on your junk forever.”

Laith slowly inched forward, his lips nervously parting for the well endowed man in front of him. Just a few days ago he would have pummeled some creep that wanted him to suck a cock but now he was on his knees in some dirty bathroom, lips kissing the cock head of some random faculty member.

His lips felt the raw and salty skin of Cyphl’s dick, opening wide to slide further down the head and onto the shaft. Laith felt the cock invade his mouth, filling up the space between his cheeks and pressing his tongue down to the fleshy floor of his saliva covered throat. He closed his eyes tight like he had just tasted something bad and continued pushing his head down the man’s long shaft. Just as he had thought he had gotten to the base, he opened his eyes to reveal he was only halfway there. With nerves in his eyes he looked up at Cyphl who had a confused expression on his face.

“Wow you really are new to this. Look i don’t got all day so I’ll just help you.” Cyphl grabbed Laith’s ears firmly and forcefully pulled in launching his cock down Laith’s throat.

Laith quickly gagged followed by the sound of spit in his throat before Cyphl pulled most of the way out, letting Laith catch his breath.

“Now we are gonna do that a couple more times got it?” Cyphl said with a demeaning tone.

Tears of shock ran down Laith’s cheeks. He could feel his nipples perk up and harden, his back slightly arch as he took a deep breath in.

“Good boy.” Cyphl said pulling on Laith’s ears and slamming his cock deep into Laith’s throat once more. This time he didn’t stop at the choking and gagging noises Laith made in response but kept drilling in and out of his wet mouth.

“You call that mouth a hole boy? Fucking work my cock!” Cyphl yelled

Laith closed his lips firmly around Cyphl’s cock and moved his tongue around his shaft.

“That’s it fuck face. You want to get an A in dick sucking your gonna have to work a little harder than that.” Cyphl moaned loudly, slapping Laith across the side of his face.

Laith let the man thrust down his throat, his cock causing saliva to drip from Laith’s lips.

With each thrust Laith found it harder to breath and with each thrust his mouth was impaled deeper and deeper onto Cyphl’s cock.

With the fear of losing consciousness in his mind Laith’s hands pushed against Cyphl’s waist.

“Not so fucking fast.” Cyphl said grabbing the back of Laith’s head and shoving his skull down onto his full length, planting Laith’s face into his pubes.

Laith’s throat contracted and spasmed against Cyphl’s large invading cock.

“Yea that’s right choke on my fucking fat cock. Your throat feels so good when you panic. Your almost there keep working it.” Cyphl said through gasps and moans.

Laith puckered his lips aggressively sucking on Cyphl’s cock. He had to get air soon. His throat couldn’t take any more cock.

Cyphl let out a loud groan letting go ow Laith’s ears and shoving him to the ground.

Laith fell back in shock, his body now a groaning mess on the dirty bathroom tile.

Unexpectedly Laith felt an absurd amount of liquid splatter onto his body. It first fell onto his hair, then his face and the rest of his clothes, covering his shirt, jacket, boots and pants. Then it continued in long bursts splattering across different parts of his body, staining each and every inch of his form.

Laith stuggled to get up, groggily recovering from the throat fuck he endured. “What the-“

It was then a glob of salty white cum splatters itself across his face and into his questioning mouth.

Laith looked down in shock at the rosy of body covered in pools of sticky wet cum.

“I told you. Hyperspermia.” Cyphl said zipping up his pants and threading the leather belt he wore through the waist loops of his pants. He was utterly spotless.

Laith placed his hand over his face, trying to wipe off the extreme amounts of cum that had landed across his head.

With the click of a phone camera Laith had sensed Cyphl had just taken a photo of him.

“What the hell dude… anonymous.”

“Relax your face isn’t in it. Plus we always gotta upload a photo after the deed is done to leave reviews. I just sent you yours now.” Cyphl put his phone in his back pocket and headed to the door. “Your lucky in not a fucking dick. Hope to see you in a few months when you finally learn how to suck a dudes cock. Maybe put something up your ass too while you’re at it. Good luck idiot.”

Laith watched Cyphl disappear into the library as the door closed quietly and a loud bing chimed from his cum covered phone.

PACT APP: NEW REVIEW

POSTED BY: CYPHL

1.6 STARS

STUDENTATHLETE24 FIRST TIMER

This slut stud is a newcomer to the app and apparently sucking cock. Celebrated his new life by baptizing him today in the library bathroom. Not prone to following rules but takes it like a champ.

# hyperspermia # cumdump # newcomer

After several minutes of washing his leather cladded uniform Laith walked out from the secluded bathroom and into the main hall of the library he had to cross to leave the building. His helmet disguised his identity but his clothing revealed his true nature as a fag. He had attempted to wash the cum off his clothes but it had stained the leather causing white crusty spots to form all over his body in splatters and drips. He tried his best to ignore the stares and snickers as he got on his motorcycle and drove away.

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Penelope: Time sensitive question how flirt boy

Dimitri: Throw rocks at he

The Guru: Hot Dogs

Panda King: Kill Him.

Penelope: Thanks guys.

[oleander-nin]

Doggy Do's and Doggy Dont's(ROTTMNT!Mikey x GN!Reader)

I used a quote by @rottmnt-totally-correct-quotes in here, It's

Raph: We have a strict no pets policy in the lair

Mikey: Except for Mayhem!

Leo: And Donnie's high horse which occasionally makes an appearance

3064 words, I tried my best

-Ollie

Mikey sticks his tongue out in concentration, the rubber of the basketball griping to his hand in that oh so satisfying way. Mikey makes the shot, but Leo, of course, blocks it. Mikey grits his teeth in frustration, looking over at Donnie for help. Donnie doesn’t match his gaze however, being too busy trying to stop Raph’s rampage towards the basket. Mikey gets into position, trying to figure out if Leo was going to pass or shoot so he could block accordingly. 

Raph calls out to Leo, trying to get him to pass him the ball, and Leo nods at him. Mikey sees the interaction, moving into a good position to intercept, but Leo feints and throws the ball at the basket, making it in and ending the game. Mikey groans in frustration as he watches Donnie drop from Raph’s arm that he was clinging onto. Leo won again. This was the third game they’ve played, and Leo and Raph have won every. single. time. 

Mikey could tell Donnie and Raph were starting to get fed up with Leo too. While he toned down his horrible team player skills, nothing any of them said or did could get Leo to stop his incessant bragging when he won. Honestly, it was getting really annoying.

Mikey sighs as he watches his blue brother torment Donnie once more. Mikey really thought he might grow out of his ego as he got older, but here he is, 19 years old, and still the biggest goof around. Mikey appreciated his ability to joke around most days but being made fun of after a loss still sucks.

“Nardo, we talked about this.” Mikey hears Donnie say as he tries to avoid his twin from grabbing onto him. Raph walked over to Mikey, seemingly giving up on dealing with the disaster twins. Mikey sits down on the ground, Raph following soon after, both of them tired from the games they had been playing earlier. Leo was finally able to latch onto Donnie who started biting his twin at any chance he could. Mikey laughed while watching his brothers wrestle, Raph starting to cheer for Donnie who was trying to pin Leo.

Donnie finally succeeds in getting Leo pinned, moving to sit on top of his defeated brother, keeping Leo from throwing Donnie off of him. Raph and Mikey keep cheering for Donnie, proud of his accomplishment against their brother, and Mikey barely registers the brown blur that flies towards Donnie. Donnie definitely noticed it though, especially when it knocked him over. Mikey and Raph stop laughing at Donnie’s cries of disgust, both getting up to see what attacked their brother. Leo’s laughter was now the most prominent sound around, him picking up the small wriggling body that had been licking Donnie. It was a Dog.

Mikey squeals in joy at the sight as he runs up to go pet the dog. Raph helps a grumbling Donnie up off the ground while Leo and Mikey fawn over the pup. It was beagle who was currently furiously licking Leo. Raph seems just as infatuated with the dog, quickly cooing at the squirming dog after he makes sure Donnie was fine. Donnie wedges his way in between Mikey and Raph, Mikey scooting over to let his older brother admire the beagle as well. Except, the only thing Donnie did was grab at its collar, inspecting the tags attached to the dog.

“It’s scratched off.” He simply states, dropping the tags and backing up in disgust as the dog tries to lick him.

“What are you talking about Dee?” Leo asks, his attention now on Donnie. Mikey starts to pay more attention to his brother as well, wanting to know what he means, but not wanting to stop petting the beagle. 

Donnie pulls hand sanitizer out of the compartment in his sash, dousing his hands while pointing towards the collar on the beagle's neck. “The tags on the collar. The address and phone number are scratched off.”

Mikey reaches underneath the dog's neck, avoiding the attempted assault of licks and kisses the dog was currently trying to give him. When he finally manages to find the collar tags, he takes a closer look at them. Donnie was right, the address and numbers were scratched off. It looks like it had been rubbed against concrete while the dog was running, and Mikey mentally chided the sellers for selling such a crap tag. He flips over the tag, and sees that the name is still intact, while quite damaged as well. ‘Hermes’, it reads, and Mikey thinks it’s a proper name for the happy go lucky dog.

“His name’s Hermes.” Mikey states, and his brothers look at him before looking down at the dog still in Leo’s arms. They all must have come to the same conclusion as Mikey about the name, as no one said anything against it. 

“Soo… what do we do now? The dog obviously belongs to someone, but we can’t read the tags to find them.” Leo asks, shifting the dog in his arms so it can’t reach his face as easily.

Mikey gasps, a wonderful idea popping into his head. “Omigosh, can we keep it! ‘Till we find the owner of course! We can bring the pupper home, and look for posters or media posts about the dog so we can find the owner.”

Mikey bounces up and down while clapping his hands, excited for the prospect of a temporary puppy. Until, Raph shuts it down of course.

“Mikey, you know Dad doesn’t allow pets in the lair. Plus, none of us have the first idea about owning a dog, and we aren’t prepared at all.” Mikey sags, Raph sternly staring at his youngest brother. Raph liked the dog too, he really did, but it just wasn’t practical. Raph glanced at Donnie and Leo for support, but they were both just staring at something on Leo’s phone.

“What about Mayhem! He’s allowed in the lair!” Mikey cries, growing frustrated with his oldest sibling. Raph must have been wrong about Leo and Donnie not paying attention, as Leo choses this time to chime in.

“And Donnie's high horse which occasionally makes an appearance.” Donnie does his signature audible scoff, pulling away from Leo’s side to give him an unimpressed stare.

“Who the hell let you in then?” Leo squawks at his brother's statement, both twins starting to get into another verbal argument. Raph just rolls his eyes, putting his focus back on Mikey who was still holding the beagle.

“He’s obviously lost, and has no one to care for him right now! He could die if we leave him out here!” Mikey says, distress leaking into his voice. While what Mikey said was true, he was mostly just trying to use the red turtle's compassion against him so he could take the dog home.

Mikey holds the dog up next to his face, staring at Raph with the saddest, most innocent face to put the nail in the coffin. Mikey could tell Raph was starting to break, and Mikey grew hopeful. He always wanted a pet, but the sewers aren't the best place to raise one. So a temporary dog would have to do. As soon as Raph gives in of course.

“Actually, there’s already a post about the dog. Someone’s looking for it.” Donnie states, tapping on the screen on his wrist so he could pull up a post about a missing dog. Mikey scans the post, sighing as he realizes it really is the dog he was currently holding. 

Raph pats him on the back, promising that he would get to pick the movie when they got back to the lair. Mikey shifts the dog again, trying to keep a comfortable grip on it.

“You should just put it down, the owners will find it soon-”

“What’s the address?” Mikey interrupts, shifting from foot to foot. Donnie just stares at Mikey, studying his face.

“Why do you want to know?” Leo asks, leaning over Donnie’s shoulder to read the dog post as well.

“I want to drop him off at their house. That way he’s at least close to home so someone will recognize him.” 

“Mikey, that’s really not needed. It’s only a couple blocks away anyway, the owners would have to be idiots to not find the dog.” Donnie and Mikey just stare at each other, neither backing down.

“You said it was only a couple blocks away, right Dee?” Leo asks, still staring at the screen on Donnie’s wrist.

“Yeah, why? You planning on running the dog back home now too?” Donnie was obviously getting annoyed with the situation, and Mikey just wanted to go.

“If it’s only a couple blocks away, I can just run there and drop off the dog, then run back. It’ll take a few minutes, tops.” Mikey says, and Leo beams at him.

“Now wait here just a minute, Raph doesn’t think this is such a good idea. You’ll be going into a neighborhood, what if someone sees you?” Raph stresses, obviously getting antsy about the idea.

Leo rolls his eyes at his older brother. “Relax Raph, Mikey’s fast. He obviously wants to bring the dog home, and as leader, I say we let him. I mean, what's the harm?”

“Lots of harm. What if he gets lost? Or kidnapped?” Raph retorts. Mikey was getting fed up with this, he really wanted to just drop off the dog. Why was it such a big deal?

“What if I pick up pizza on the way back?” Mikey asks, trying to sway the red turtle's opinion with bribery. Raph seems to think on it, furrowing his eyebrow as he talks to mind Raph.

“Promise you’ll be safe?” Raph asks, looking into the box turtle's eyes.

“I promise! Now tell me the address Dee so I can get this show on the road!” Donnie rolls his eyes, quickly reading out the address as Mikey memorizes it. Mikey gives Leo a hug before running off, making a note to himself to make Leo’s favorite food tomorrow night.

Mikey flips up his hood and starts jogging towards the neighborhood the post talked about. He went slower than usual, trying to not spook the dog in his arms. It apparently wasn’t good enough, as the beagle leapt out of his arms and started running away.

Mikey starts to follow the running dog, hoping to catch the thing before it decides to turn into traffic. Mikey sighs in relief when the pup turns right instead of left, foregoing the road and heading towards an alleyway instead. Mikey’s heart dropped when he looked inside the alleyway however. The alleyway that was currently occupied by a human. Great.

Mikey pulled his hood over his head, trying to hide his features as much as possible. Having a massive freakout from the human wasn’t going to help Mikey in his quest to get the dog back. Mikey peaked into the alleyway more, trying to gauge where the human was compared to the dog. However, instead of seeing an annoyed human trying to shoo off the overhyped pup, the human was crying with the beagle in their arms as it barked happily. Mikey’s brain looks at them both over stepping into the alleyway more, and a poster on the wall takes centerfield in Mikey’s vision.

It was a missing dog poster, the ones Donnie told him about earlier. There were two photos used on it, one with just the beagle, and Mikey knows it was the same beagle because of the giant black starish shaped spot on its back, and one with a human holding the dog. The same human who was currently sitting on the floor in a dirty alleyway, posters spilled all around them, hanging onto the small dog like it was their entire world. 

On the opposite, Mikey felt his world being crushed, stolen and put just out of reach. Sure, it’s only been a day since he met Hermes, but it was really fun! He had someone to play with, to cuddle with, and someone to talk to without judgment. Mikey knew that the dog would have to be returned eventually, but he was hoping to be able to keep Hermes a little longer. The person holding Hermes looked to be around 18ish, probably in their senior year, or freshman year of college. As Mikey looked at them, he noticed just how pretty they were, and his hands itched for a pencil and paper. They’d be really fun to draw. As Mikey stood there the human must have finally noticed him, as they cleared their throat.

“Can I help you with something?” The stranger asks, confusion and slight hostility leaking into their voice. Mikey pulls his hoodie around himself tighter, feeling exposed despite the layers. Mikey shakes his head at the question, not quite trusting his voice to not start shaking. He really didn’t want to cry, not here. Not in front of a stranger, not in a dirty alleyway, and not in front of the dog he only got to love for a day.

Mikey was mad at himself. He knew his brothers told him not to get attached, but he did anyway. If he just left the dog at the park, or let Donnie and Leo bring it to the pound, none of this would be happening. The stranger in the alleyway continued to glare at Mikey, trying to figure out who he was, and why he was just standing there. Mikey makes eye contact with the human, and he watches their eyes widen. Mikey almost forgot about his eyes. Being a mutant turtle, his eyes weren’t exactly…. natural. A pinkish red that almost glowed in the sun, Mikey was usually proud of his eyes. But usually, he wasn’t face to face with a stranger. A stranger whose eyes were almost as pretty as his and his brothers. Mikey turns around and starts to leave, his eyes scanning the rooftops to look for a good place to jump to.

Mikey crouches, ready to parkour up onto the roof and sprint to a safe place. That is, until he’s tackled to the ground by a small dog. A small laugh escapes Mikey as he briefly forgets why he was leaving, focusing all his attention on the small pup on top of him. That small amount of happiness quickly turned to fear when the human got up, reminding Mikey of just why he was leaving without the goodbye he so wanted to give to Hermes.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” The stranger runs up to Mikey and picks the dog up off him, holding out their hand in an offer to help him up. Mikey takes it, and he feels their hand squeeze his once before hauling him onto his feet, his hood falling off in the process. Mikey expects a scream, a gasp, even a look of disgust or fear, but none of that happens. The human only frowns slightly, but their eyes harbor no hate towards the box turtle.

“Sorry ‘bout him, he can get rowdy. It’s a bit surprising though, he’s not usually like that with people he doesn’t know.” They shift the dog in their arms, trying to calm down the squirming beagle. “Wanna explain why you were just staring at us earlier? Not to be rude, but people don’t usually just stand menacingly in front of alleyways without being bad people.”

Mikey jumps their words, taking their ignorance of his appearance as an olive branch. “Oh, I’ve been taking care of your dog while we’ve been looking for you! We didn’t want to leave him with a pound, and the address was scratched off, so I've been walking him around trying to see if anyone recognized him. He shot off earlier, and when I found him, he was with you. I was trying to decide friend or foe, but obviously he knows you.”

Mikey felt like his explanation was subpar, and he reaches out to pet hermes who barks happily at the attention. The stranger seems to accept his explanation with little more than a nod, and Mikey’s shoulders sag in relief. Having to defend his decision to a complete stranger was not something he was looking forward to.

“Thanks for taking care of him, we haven’t gotten him chipped yet, so we were terrified he was brought to a pound and someone took him.”

Mikey nods, continuing to spoil the puppy with pets as the human holds him. “That’s what we were worried about, we saw the collar and assumed that the owners would put up posters, and we could locate you that way.”

“You thought right, I was just doing that now. Unfortunately, now I have to backtrack and take them all down. Ugh.”

“Would you like help?” Mikey asks, wanting to be able to hang out with Hermes just a little longer. Plus, the pretty human might make a good friend. 

The stranger breaks out into a huge grin, but it quickly divulges into a small frown. “I’d love the help, and Hermes seems to like you a lot, but are you sure you’d be able to go out in public? Y’know, with your whole……situation?”

There it is. “I don’t know what you're talking about. I’m just a normal young adult who’s cosplaying.” 

The human gives him a look, obviously seeing through his lie. “You’re a mutant, right? Got bit by one of those mosquito things? My uncle and his cat got turned into a praying mantis, so I know how it goes.”

Mikey looks up at that. It explains their nonchalance about his appearance, but were they really okay with it?

“You can still come of course if you're comfortable, I just don’t want you to get in trouble.” The human pulls a leash out of a small bag they were carrying, and Mikey could see more posters inside. They clip the leash onto the dog before putting him down again.

“Yeah, If I pull my hood over my face, no one really questions it. Most people have seen weirder stuff.”

The human snorts at that. “Yeah, fair enough I guess. I’m Y/n, you?”

Mikey smiles, happy to have bonded with them at least a little. “You can call me Mikey.”

His brothers would have to wait a while on that pizza.

01.10.23

[ma-lark-ey]

Lark Liveblogs Literature Part ???: All For The Game Series - Nora Sakavic

I'm doing something a little bit different with this one! In the business of full disclosure, I read TFC (and about a chapter of TRK) in April this year, decided "I can't mcfucking do this" and then gave up. And then didn't stop thinking about Neil Josten for the next eight months and now we're BACK. So, instead of properly 'liveblogging,' unlike most first-reads I do, I'm actually annotating this one because it's too good to NOT.

That means I have a customized (so totally legal mhm) word doc, highlight/unline privileges, and audacity.

Here's what I knew before I read back in April (stolen from my beta version of this post);

Andrew Minyard: Gay(?), funniest bitch alive if Tumblr brackets are to be trusted. Murderer? Has Boyfriend???

Sports. Maybe. Yes? sports.

Drugs are involved. Somehow.

Now, here's where I am going in now;

Ranking the Foxes goes; Neil, Aaron, Dan, Kevin, Andrew, Renee, Matt, Nicky

I have no idea how exy works, I do don't plan on figuring it out.

Do not remember if I read TRK but what I remember happening is far too much to be just the 230 page doc that is TFC so I MUST HAVE right?

Do know his real name's Nathaniel because I did read that scene reveal and get JUMPSCARED by my brother's name.

How this is going to work is that I'm going to put in my annotations for each chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 1:

"You can't be serious." "Very serious, and very out of time,"

"were a team of talented rejects and junkies because Wymack only recruited athletes from broken homes...nice in theory, but it meant his players were fractured isolationists who couldn't get along long enough to get through a game."

"God damn it, Minyard. This is why we can't have nice things."[1] "Oh, Coach," someone said over Neil's head. "If he was nice, he wouldn't be any use to us, would he?" "He's no use to us if you break him." "You'd rather I let him go? Put a band-aid on him and he'll be good as new."[2]

[1] This is why we can’t have nice things, darling. Because you break them. I have to take them away

[2] Andrew I’ll kiss you

"blond and five feet even"[1]

blond? wrong. five foot even? correct.

"They were champions, and Neil was a jumble of lies and dead-ends."[1]

[1] Neil your self-loathing is showing

"It's not a good idea." "Your opinion has been duly noted and dismissed,"

"It was proof he existed, same as this game they both played. Kevin was proof Neil was real."

"It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you." Neil had heard Wymack referred to as an idealistic idiot by more than one person, but it was hard to listen to him and not believe that he was sincere

"It sounded like a dream; it tasted like damnation"

notes:

nothing much to say on chapter one--- it's a standard introductory chapter to a contemporary(ish) novel.

Wymack sets up the series' key theme with his line, "It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you."

Kevin's demeanor in this chapter is very similar to the Kevin we see up until Raven's come into play--- He's very good at acting very standoffish and tough.

The shift in Kevin when Riko comes into play was actually so dramatic I didn't recognize him here, I was afeared

some of the quotes I've added here are obviously because I thought they were funny exchanges--- others are me English Majoring(tm), and others are just me marking plot, characterization, facts, etc.

admittedly what i've put here is about half of what is actually highlighted/underlined in my doc.

I want to study the dynamic between Neil & Wymack under a microscpe

[reigningmax]

Unprompted but I have a theory about Christian and his boys, I feel like he’s such a fatherly figure to his drivers and he loves taking them under his wing and protecting them. I think it’s super important for him that the drivers feel like Redbull is their home. And i also think that’s why he loves Max and Daniel so much. They bought into that and they really let Christian be that for them. (Can’t get over Daniel driving him and Geri to their wedding) Max is self explanatory. They’re his boys and that’s also why I think he never let his relationship with Daniel sour. Now if you look at Pierre, Alex and Checo, there’s not really that same connection. There’s not a sense of ’that’s my boy’ from christian in the same regards. Anyways idk why I came here rambling but it makes total sense kn my head😭

no no please come ramble away!!! and also you are correct!!! Max, Christian essentially raised him to become a man. he's watched him grow and turn into a champion in front of him. So, of course, he took him under his wing when he was a toddler when he came into his life so!!! And with Daniel, he was also quite young coming into the RBR umbrella, and I think he just clicked with Christian? I'm sure Daniel girlies (gn) have evidence and quotes and stuff about this, but Christian has always, always loved Daniel both as his driver and as someone who's part of the family!!! Was part of it driven by their performance? Maybe. But I really do think it's way beyond that with those two!! I think Alex also got a better overall welcome than Checo and Pierre. But all 3 of them are definitely more of a business/team boss vibes than anything family. And I mean, fair enough tbh!! And fair enough that they were let go if they weren't performing!!

[jade-kyo]

RvB 20th rewatch: s13

And here we are… at the end… I delayed watching this like a whole day I swear I am going to die

The Tartarus crew with Felix is just a speed run of what he did to the fans

“Hey that’s intolerant” // “you’re intolerant!”

Rip Stassney 😔

13 really knocks it out of the park right from the beginning on every angle- comedy, drama, animation… they held nothing back

I want it noted that I think Tucker dancing and Sarge being his backup vocals is a VERY important animated goof. I love them.

God I love Carolina and Church

GRAY!!!!!!!

“It’s Christmas come early, unless you’re looking at it from the pirates point of view, in which case it’s the opposite” // “Hanukkah?”

God I love when Church gets to be dorky

Man they gave us og blue team silliness they fucking knew what they were doing

“Yeah that’s tough I’m crying on the inside” quoted line

Have we considered Grayboose-

WHEN THE VOICE OF ALIEN JESUS TALKS DOWN TO YOU YOU DO NOT RESPOND WITH WHATS UP

“Don’t psychoanalyze me” heavily quoted line

GOOD DAD TUCKER

Church not responding to Epsilon was always an interesting touch to me

CAROLINA AND CHURCH MY BELOVED

Sometimes I remember how Church is a copy/memory of a copy of Carolinas father and then I see how he sometimes gets all protective over her and I lose my fucking mind

CAROLINA HAS REDISCOVERED HER INNER SILLY MY GIRL I LOVE HER IM SO PROUD OF HER KAVSKAJALHDKAJSKH

You know Counselor I’d also kill the Director if it meant not having brain worms for a 21 year old web series that ruined my life

THE POWER OF LETTING YOUR VILLAINS BE A LITTLE SILLY

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT PAST TENSE BULLSHIT

Correct Caboose IS a true warrior

SANTA

Game Grumps cameo

JINKIES ITS SHARKFACE

You know the bad thing about the whole Doc thing is that the first time I watched this I legitimately did forget about him being gone 😭

BUT THE WAY I CHEERED WHEN OMALLEY CAME BACK I WAS SO HAPPY I LOVE HIM

Wash was so real for his taunting Locus

THE CALL BACKS THIS SEASON ARE SO GOOD

Tucker really pushed to his wits end

“Gotta go faster” Carolina is sonic the hedgehog

AKAHSKAIHAKSHAKSHKS EPSILON FAILING AJHSKKANSKJDKDJSKWNK

Petty little sister time: my brothers fr missing out on the beauty of this season it’s so fucking good and I get to enjoy it alllllll to myself in this family :3

Speaking of petty sisters: Love Church just being like how do I not get killed by my sis when she wakes up

Take yourself… fuck yourself… with yourself

Carolina and Church have a moment and I need a lobotomy

“I can’t lose another family” somebody sedate me

“Complete and total faith in one another” SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

Doyle you will always be famous to me

Rip sharkface

God… Doyle’s sacrifice, Epsilon and Carolina, the music…. Fucking… G O D the power…

And then KIMBAL SPEECH GOD

Also I cackle every time the army’s start firing their guns cause like WE JUST ESTABLISHED THEYRE LOW ON WEAPONRY AND AMMO AKSHKHSKDJJS

AND THEY LET CABOOSE DRIVE THE TANK!!!!

Counselor was so real for wanting to just nope out of there

“The moment Donald Doyle blew half your troops to hell” frothing at the mouth THAT LINE DELIVERY

Just kill me

It’s been a hot second since I’ve gotten to say this but Sarge being the one to understand that Wash is being genuine when he says he believes in them? SARGE HAS THE BEST CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IN THE SERIES!!!!!!!

I love how Felix is fully animated while the reds and blues are mostly machinama in the final fight

OH PLEASE IM THE ORIGINAL BAD BOY

“What is wrong with you people” they are a bunch of deranged little weirdo assholes and I love them dearly 😊

RIP FELIX YOU LITTLE RAT BASTARD

Insane that they had a great set up for future stories with Locus and then proceeded to do nothing with it

KAI!!!!!!! AND JUNIOR!!!!!!!!!

Ever think about how they won… like they did it… they defeated the bad guys and sent the message… the only reason things end the way they did is because Hargrove couldn’t lay down and accept defeat… they fucking won and it still wasn’t enough to save them…

they truly were doomed by the narrative

SHEILA!!!!!

He’s so… BALD

GOD CHURCH SEEING TEXS HELMET

“Not this time buddy” kindly requesting to be taken out back and shot

What the fuck do I even say? They made the perfect ending. They pulled out all the stops, the callbacks, the character development, trocadero went harder than they ever had before, they wrapped up all the remaining loose ends of project freelancer… it was thematic and beautiful, it fit the themes of the show, it was tragic, it ended the only way RvB can… with Church dying for good. There’s no version of this story where he lives…. Where they’re not doomed

And thus concludes my 20th rewatch of RvB 1-13… truly the show ever. of all time. It manages to be just as powerful now, 8 years and 20 rewatches later, as it was the very first time I watched it as a little 15 year old girl who decided to watch that silly halo show my brothers were always quoting because I was bored one day.

Anyway sure glad that’s where the show ended and it definitely didn’t get dragged on for way too long with mediocre seasons and an unsatisfactory ending or anything like that… wouldn’t that be crazy

[mariana-oconnor]

The Red-Headed League Pt 2

until the comical side of the affair so completely overtopped every other consideration that we both burst out into a roar of laughter.

Professional people being professional. Mmhm. You'd think a doctor would be better at keeping a straight face, I'm pretty sure humans have been sticking inappropriate things in inappropriate places since time immemorial. But these two are giggling like school boys. A lovely image, but I'd be a bit mad if they did it to me. I can't blame Mr Wilson for being mad at them.

Finally, I went to the landlord, who is an accountant living on the ground-floor, and I asked him if he could tell me what had become of the Red-headed League. He said that he had never heard of any such body. Then I asked him who Mr Duncan Ross was. He answered that the name was new to him.

Surprising no one at all. I said it in my comments about the first part, but I love how this whole scam has been echoed in heist shows/films right up to modern day. Acquire offices under false pretences, create hype around fake business, use office to make business look legit, pack up shop and leave an empty office behind and no one with any clue what the mark is talking about.

"I went home to Saxe-Coburg Square, and I took the advice of my assistant. But he could not help me in any way. He could only say that if I waited I should hear by post.

I mean, honestly, for someone who is supposedly unassociated with the league in question, that's more than he should be able to say. A more normal response would be 'That's fucking weird, boss. I think it might be a scam.' But clearly Victor is entirely trustworthy, so I shouldn't question him. Totally trustworthy.

On the contrary, you are, as I understand, richer by some 30 pounds, to say nothing of the minute knowledge which you have gained on every subject which comes under the letter A.

I expect that pub quizzes weren't around in 1890, but if they were, Mr Wilson would be an excellent addition to your team.

The internet tells me pub quizzes only date back to the 70s. Which seems late, as I swear my Mum's dad and brothers used to go religiously to their local league when she was young, but maybe I got the timeline on that wrong.

Further investigation has found me to be correct as the very league my family used to frequent is apparently referenced in an article from the early 60s. In fact it quotes someone who absolutely must have known my grandad and might even be in the picture of the quiz team on top of our bookcase.

This tangent has been brought to you by my love of trivia... Pun intended.

Back to the 1890s

"Why did you pick him?"

"Because he was handy and would come cheap."

"At half-wages, in fact."

"Yes."

A lesson that stands to this day: if something seems impossibly good value, it probably is. And if someone is willing to work for less than they're worth, one of you is the bad guy.

"As a rule," said Holmes, "the more bizarre a thing is the less mysterious it proves to be. It is your commonplace, featureless crimes which are really puzzling, just as a commonplace face is the most difficult to identify. But I must be prompt over this matter."

This reads like a contradiction, but I'm pretty sure it's true. It's the weird things that make crimes stand out and lead to the people committing them. The crimes that are completely run of the mill, like house burglaries, are one of a thousand almost identical crimes. But if a juggling clown robbed a shoe shop and rode off on a unicycle, that would cut down the suspects drastically.

"To smoke," he answered. "It is quite a three pipe problem, and I beg that you won't speak to me for fifty minutes."

Infamous line is infamous. All problems may be measured by how many pipes it takes to solve them. The standard SI unit of mysteriousness, I believe.

"Sarasate plays at the St. James's Hall this afternoon," he remarked. "What do you think, Watson? Could your patients spare you for a few hours?"

"I have nothing to do to-day. My practice is never very absorbing."

Let's hope no one has stuck a candlestick anywhere unmentionable... But seriously, you can just ditch your patients for the day? And I complain about waiting times for the NHS!

Watson is just: 'My bff asked me to play hooky. Lol. Byeee!' and these people are paying him.

"Smart fellow, that," observed Holmes as we walked away. "He is, in my judgment. the fourth smartest man in London, and for daring I am not sure that he has not a claim to be third. I have known something of him before."

Holmes, the man is a terrible con artist. He's the most suspicious and he was so obvious it was embarrassing. And you're putting him right behind you in the list? (I assume Mycroft is number 1)

I guess that being intelligent doesn't mean you have to be good at conning people, but really, he's terrible at it. He couldn't have been more obviously involved if he had a sandwich board on saying 'The red-headed league is a con. Ask me how!'

I know Mr Wilson didn't work it out, but literally everyone else did. I bet that 14 year old child labour maid Mr Wilson hires knows he's a con man and just doesn't care because she's not paid enough to.

"Not him."

"What then?"

"The knees of his trousers."

I have been on this website too long, because my mind absolutely went into the gutter here. Which, incidentally, was also one of the places I thought of his knees being.

"Let us now explore the parts which lie behind it."

Is it a bank? Please be a bank. I honestly can't remember. But I want it to be a bank. Just for that good, old-fashioned bank robbery shenanigans. Although I will accept jewellery shop.

"There is Mortimer's, the tobacconist, the little newspaper shop, the Coburg branch of the City and Suburban Bank, the Vegetarian Restaurant, and McFarlane's carriage-building depot."

Oh yeah. Got to love a bank robbery. Classic.

This has been copied so many times in media it's difficult to tell whether contemporary audiences would have been as able to work it out as modern readers. But it's a classic for a reason.

Also worth noticing that there's a Vegetarian restaurant in London in 1890. You'd have been hard pressed to find a vegetarian restaurant in most parts of England in 1990, so that's ahead of its time.

My friend was an enthusiastic musician, being himself not only a very capable performer but a composer of no ordinary merit. All the afternoon he sat in the stalls wrapped in the most perfect happiness, gently waving his long, thin fingers in time to the music, while his gently smiling face and his languid, dreamy eyes were as unlike those of Holmes, the sleuth-hound, Holmes the relentless, keen-witted, ready-handed criminal agent, as it was possible to conceive.

Watson's crush is showing again. 😆

This description keeps going in a further totally heterosexual way. Look, I'm not saying straight guys can't appreciate their bff's 'languid, dreamy eyes', but when directly compared to his descriptions of other characters... This is exceptionally effusive is all I'm saying.

And, I say, Doctor, there may be some little danger, so kindly put your army revolver in your pocket.

Must. Not. Make. Joke.