#trust is hard and communication is hard and forgiveness is hard and its all so hard

[naydralikessoup]

thinking about the end of kh1 again................

[orkbutch]

Rambling about Astarion bc im bored at work. I like Astarion because I think he is a genius take on The Evil RPG Companion, and is an especially great take on The Fixable Bad Guy. I don't think hes evil, but I do think Astarion is a genuinely bad person at the beginning, and I think Astarion is only drawn away from being a bad person - and experiences a great redemption arc - via active intervention from others. Astarion would not redeem himself without guidance; he is absolutely bent toward self destruction and evil at the beginning of the story.

I think comparing him with Shadowheart is what drew me to that conclusion. If you are nice to Shadowheart, as in you talk to her and respect her boundaries and do stuff she generally agrees with, she will choose to free Nightsong all on her own. You don't need to roll to convince her at all, or romance her or even push back on her Shar worship that much. You just leave it up to her, and she chooses that path. (Side note, what brilliant writing.)

Astarion is not like that at all. Even if you were tight as fuck he would not choose the good option, with no input, in Act 2. Astarion, like all the companions, needs help and connection to reach healthy actualization, but I think its great, resonant writing that Astarion needs the most active intervention of all. Because he's had his autonomy so completely taken away from him, he simply doesn't know how to use it anymore. He doesn't know how to connect with other people anymore. He's someone that's learned to enjoy cruelty, to resent the pleasure of others, and to be entirely selfish for survival. It makes sense that he must be dragged back into being capable of trust. He needs to be forced to be part of a community again; caring about things; allowing for vulnerability and optimism.

And like. How fucking smart is it to have THIS guy in THIS game. Because of the tadpole and the existential threat they're up against, he is actually forced to work with you. This kind of character is so hard to do in most RPGs because its like... why wouldn't he just betray you all and leave? Why would he stick with you? The tadpole clears all of that up. Astarion must stick with you or hes lost and dead. Astarion knows that you and the other companions are collectively stronger than him, so he can't betray you. He is forced to rely on you by default.

This is also what makes him SUCH a good version of the "you can fix him" romance; you are almost never the direct target of Astarion's bastardry because he can't fuck with you. The problem with Fix Him's is that usually they are a threat to the romantic lead, and fixing him requires enduring, soothing and forgiving the worst of his badness as some kind of test of loyalty, hopefully proving to him that being bad isn't necessary (toxic shit). But Astarion... can't do that. He is afraid to actually fuck you over because you are directly tied to his survival, and because you quickly show yourself to be more capable than him. He cannot have real power over you. (Until he's ascended, then he becomes the absolute worst version of the fix-it.)

I do think the trade off is that Astarion not directing his bastardry at you makes it easier to Ignore that Astarion is A Bad Guy, but I think that'd happen even if he was more of an asshole to you, so who cares. I think he's got the best written Redeemable Evil RPG Companion arch I've seen honestly. I love that he's so fun while being so tragic, whether redeemed or not.

[andy-15-07]

Hi can u do where pedro and reader were in a many year relationship but they broke up because of a fight and they reunite again

What We Lost, What We Found

PAIRING:Pedro Pascal x reader

WORD COUNT:2489| requests are open (send requests, I will gladly answer them all)

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

It had been years since you and Pedro had last spoken—years since the painful night when harsh words and a violent argument shattered the bond you once shared. Now, the autumn chill had returned, its crisp air carrying memories of times that both warmed and wounded you. As you walked down the familiar street toward the old café, your heart pounded with equal parts hope and anxiety. Every step was accompanied by the echoes of a past too heavy to forget, yet too precious to discard.

You pushed open the glass door of the café, its bell chiming softly as you entered. The familiar aroma of freshly ground coffee beans mixed with a hint of cinnamon and vanilla instantly transported you back to simpler days. There, sitting at a corner table by the window, was Pedro. He looked older now, with the lines of time etched on his face, but his eyes—those familiar deep, expressive eyes—sparked with the same intensity you remembered.

Pedro’s gaze lifted as you approached, and for a moment, time seemed to slow. The clatter of cups and quiet murmur of conversations fell away until only the sound of your racing heart remained.

"Hey," Pedro said softly, his voice carrying both the weight of regret and the warmth of welcome. "I wasn’t sure you’d come."

You paused just a few feet from the table, your eyes searching his for a trace of the man you once loved. "I—I needed to see you," you replied, your voice trembling slightly with unresolved emotion. "There are things we left unsaid, Pedro."

He gestured for you to sit, and as you slid into the chair opposite him, memories of laughter, shared secrets, and heated arguments played out in your mind. Pedro leaned forward, his hands clasped together on the table as if bracing himself against the surge of old emotions.

"I know," he murmured, his eyes sincere. "Every day, I think about that night—the fight, everything I said. I’ve carried it with me, and I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that."

A lump formed in your throat, and you swallowed hard before responding. "It wasn’t just that one night, Pedro. It was all the moments leading up to it—the silence after the storm, the distance that grew between us. We both made mistakes, and somewhere along the line, we lost our way."

He nodded slowly, the remorse evident in every line of his face. "I was stubborn, and I let my pride get in the way of what we had. I was so sure I was right, even when I was wrong. I’ve missed you, more than I can put into words."

The vulnerability in his confession softened the anger that had long simmered in your chest. "I’ve missed you too," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I kept thinking about what could have been if we’d fought harder for us, instead of fighting each other."

Pedro’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as he reached out, his hand hovering above yours. "Do you remember that day we spent by the river, just talking about everything? You laughed so hard that day, and I felt like the world was right, even if just for a moment."

A bittersweet smile tugged at your lips as you recalled that day—the carefree moments, the way he had looked at you like you were the only person in the universe. "I do," you said softly. "It felt like we could fix anything, as long as we were together. I thought love was enough."

"And maybe it is," Pedro said earnestly. "But love also needs trust, communication… the willingness to forgive. I let my pride block me from hearing your pain, and I’m so sorry for that."

The conversation paused as the distant sound of rain tapping against the window filled the silence between you. You could feel the tension slowly begin to ebb, replaced by the tentative hope that maybe, just maybe, the wounds of the past could be healed.

After a long moment, Pedro spoke again, his tone gentler this time. "I’ve spent these years trying to find a way back to us, to understand where we went wrong. I’ve talked to friends, read a lot of books… even seen a therapist. I needed to learn how to listen, to really hear you, even when I didn’t agree. I needed to learn to be better."

Your eyes searched his face, seeing the earnestness and effort in every line. "And have you found what you were looking for?" you asked, a mix of hope and skepticism in your tone.

Pedro smiled, a small, tentative curve of his lips that held both joy and sorrow. "I think I have. I realized that while I can’t change the past, I can work on building a better future. I want to try again, if you’re willing. I know I hurt you, and I know we both have scars now, but maybe we can learn to move forward, together."

Your heart fluttered, the weight of years of regret mingling with the possibility of redemption. "I want to believe that," you said, your voice trembling with cautious optimism. "I’ve thought about this so many times—the good times, the bad times. It wasn’t just you who lost your way. I made my share of mistakes too. I was stubborn, too, and I let my pride keep me from reaching out when I should have."

Pedro reached across the table, taking your hand in his. "Maybe we both needed this time apart to grow, to understand ourselves better. And maybe now, we can start over—not as the people we once were, but as two people who have learned from their past."

A tear slid down your cheek as you squeezed his hand gently. "It won’t be easy, Pedro. There are wounds that might never fully heal. But I believe that if we’re honest with each other, we can find a way."

He nodded, his eyes filled with determination and regret. "I promise, no matter how hard it gets, I’ll always be honest with you. I won’t let pride or fear come between us again."

The conversation continued for hours, shifting from recollections of shared memories to discussions about dreams and plans for the future. The rain outside turned into a steady downpour, mirroring the intensity of the emotions exchanged between you. Each dialogue piece felt like a brick laid down carefully, rebuilding a bridge that had once collapsed under the weight of anger and misunderstanding.

As the café began to empty and the night settled in, Pedro suggested taking a walk. "Let’s take a stroll by the river," he said softly. "I want to show you something."

Intrigued and hopeful, you agreed, and together you stepped out into the cool night. The city lights reflected off the wet pavement, creating a shimmering mosaic that seemed to echo the fractured beauty of your shared past.

Walking side by side in comfortable silence, you eventually reached the river. The water flowed steadily, a reminder that life continued its course regardless of the storms it encountered. Pedro stopped at a familiar spot—a bench that had seen many of your conversations, both lighthearted and intense.

Sitting down, Pedro turned to you, his gaze fixed on the rippling water. "Do you remember the promises we made here?" he asked, his voice tinged with nostalgia. "We said we’d never let the world break us. We promised that even if everything fell apart, we’d find a way to hold on to each other."

You nodded, the memories flooding back. "I remember. I remember feeling invincible when we were together, like nothing could harm us. But then reality hit, and we realized that love isn’t always enough to keep the darkness at bay."

Pedro’s expression softened, and he reached out to brush a stray tear from your cheek. "Maybe we were naive," he whispered. "But I still believe in the promises we made, and I believe in us. I want to try—really try—to rebuild what we lost. I want us to be stronger, to communicate better, and to forgive the mistakes of the past."

You looked at him, torn between the fear of being hurt again and the longing for what once was. "I want that too, Pedro," you admitted. "I want to believe that we can start anew, but I’m scared. Scared that we’ll fall back into the same patterns, that the hurt will return."

Pedro took a deep breath, his eyes searching yours for understanding. "I’m scared too," he confessed. "But I promise you, I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I’m willing to work on my shortcomings, to listen more, and to ensure that we both feel heard and loved. I don’t want to lose you again."

The vulnerability in his words resonated deeply within you. "I know we can’t undo the past," you said softly, "but maybe we can create a future where we learn from it. I’m willing to take that chance if you are."

A long silence followed, filled only by the sound of the river and the quiet beating of your hearts. Finally, Pedro spoke again, his voice steady. "Then let’s take it one day at a time. Let’s rebuild our trust, step by step, until we find ourselves in a place where the pain no longer defines us. I want to be your safe haven, your partner in this journey of healing."

You nodded, a small smile breaking through the lingering sadness. "I’d like that. I want us to find our way back to each other, even if it means starting over from scratch. I want to trust again, to believe that love can conquer our fears."

Pedro stood up, gently pulling you to your feet. "Then let’s start now," he said. "Let’s make a promise to each other—to communicate, to listen, and to never let pride come between us again. We owe it to ourselves and to the love we once shared."

As you both embraced under the soft glow of the streetlights, the past, with all its scars and regrets, began to fade into the background. The future lay uncertain, but in that moment, you and Pedro chose hope over despair. The journey ahead would be filled with challenges, but with every honest word, every tear shed in understanding, you both felt the fragile bond between you strengthening.

In the days that followed, you met frequently, each encounter marked by long conversations, quiet walks, and shared moments of laughter and sorrow. Sometimes, you’d spend hours discussing the mistakes of the past, each dialogue serving as a stepping stone toward healing. Other times, you simply enjoyed the silence, the unspoken language of being together in the same space, allowing the wounds to mend naturally.

One rainy afternoon, as you sat together in Pedro’s living room—books and old photographs scattered around—the conversation took a reflective turn.

"You know," Pedro began, his tone thoughtful, "I used to think that fighting was a way to prove how much we cared. But now I realize that real care means knowing when to let go of anger and truly listen."

You nodded, sipping your tea. "I used to believe that our silence after a fight meant we were avoiding the truth. But maybe silence can also be a space to heal, to gather strength before we speak again."

Pedro looked at you, his eyes filled with genuine understanding. "I’ve learned so much since we parted ways. Not just about love, but about myself. I want to share all of that with you, to build something new on the foundation of who we are now, rather than who we were."

"And I want that too," you replied. "I want us to grow, to learn from our past, and to embrace every part of our journey—even the painful moments—because they led us here, to this chance at redemption."

A comfortable silence enveloped you both, punctuated only by the rhythmic tapping of rain against the window. In that quiet, you both felt a shared promise—a commitment to move forward, no matter how difficult the path might be.

Over time, as the seasons changed and the scars of the past began to soften, you and Pedro discovered new layers in each other. The dialogue between you became a lifeline, a means to navigate the complexities of rebuilding trust and rediscovering love. Late-night talks turned into laughter-filled mornings, and every shared secret, every whispered promise, wove together a tapestry of resilience and hope.

One evening, as you walked along a tree-lined street bathed in the soft glow of twilight, Pedro stopped abruptly. He turned to you, his expression earnest. "I want to thank you," he said quietly. "Thank you for giving us another chance. I know it wasn’t easy for you, and I know there will be difficult days ahead, but I promise that every step we take together will be worth it."

You met his gaze, feeling the sincerity radiating from him. "Thank you, Pedro, for not giving up on us. I was afraid we’d become strangers, but here we are—still holding on, still fighting for what we believe in."

He smiled then, a warm, genuine smile that reached his eyes. "I guess we both had to relearn how to be together again. It wasn’t the easy way, but I think the struggles made us appreciate the good moments even more."

You squeezed his hand, your heart lighter than it had been in years. "Maybe this is our second chance—a chance to be better, to love deeper, and to understand each other in ways we never did before."

Pedro’s eyes shone with hope as he leaned in closer. "Let’s promise each other that no matter what, we’ll keep talking, keep listening, and keep loving. No more letting pride and anger come between us."

"Promise," you whispered, feeling a warmth spread through your chest that had long been absent.

And so, under the starry sky of that crisp evening, with the future uncertain yet full of promise, you and Pedro took your first true steps toward healing a love that had once been broken but was now mending—one honest conversation, one heartfelt dialogue, at a time.

In the quiet aftermath of your reunion, as the night deepened and the gentle murmur of the city lulled you both into a peaceful calm, you realized that every end could also be a beginning. The echoes of past fights and bitter goodbyes had faded into the background, replaced by the soft, steady cadence of renewed hope.

Your journey wasn’t over, and there would be more challenges ahead. But as you held Pedro’s hand and walked into the future together, you understood that love—true, honest, and resilient—was worth every risk, every tear, and every moment of vulnerability. And in that shared resolve, you found not just reconciliation, but a promise that the best chapters were still waiting to be written.

[i-yap]

What if you do angst x fluff? where Jason Todd fights with Y/n, had he just fought with Dick or something and he accidentally hurt his girlfriend? 👿 I like this dynamic, but I want it to be a real fight, you know? he enters a PSTD.

Im gonna do headcanons , warning( check the request)

Jason todd x y/n - he hurts her

out of all batboys he is most likely to lash out in aggression, by a landslide actually, especially fresh out the pit jason/ nightmare jason/ jealous jason.

He is also very very hard on himself about it.

Lets be honest here, this dude grew up on the streets , was trained to be a vigilante , got tortured, died, blah blah. He doesn't know how to control or regulate his emotions at all. He was never taught how to and the pit rage still is a part of him. He is really broken and so its very likely he lashes out

He is also very very insecure, he gets all in his head and he just cant control it and pushes people away.

You make him believe he can be better, that he deserves love and that you get what he is going through. Early on in the relationship he would just leave and not come back for weeks out of guilt.

once you convinced him to not leave and explained how much it hurt you, and once he explained how much at risk you could be but you accept the risk- after a very long discussion he learns to stay.

later on in the relationship he does overcome his insecurities and lashes out much less, so for him to actually physically lash out on you could only be one cause.

You betray him. He is either very jealous, maybe you have a childhood guy friend you refuse to leave. or maybe its a very hot coworker you refuse to stay away from in the name of professionalism. Or maybe jason just had an encounter with his past tormentors and they said something that got to him head and then he sees you laughing at the joke of your cute neighbour with the dog that likes you too much.

Now he is yelling and you're aggravating the situation. you had a bad day at work, and though you're usually calm and understanding , since you know what he has gone through, but you were just so annoyed that day or had a bad day yourself.

So when you start yelling back at him, he smashes a vase against the wall away from you. what he did not calculate was how the glass shard could fly and hit/scratch w2 you right in the arm. the second he sees you injured time stops

He crumbles, literally . crawls to you sobbing, hyperventilating - he might have a sezuire. this was his literal worst nightmare, and now its happened. you know he wasn't aiming the vase at you. you could either immediately realize or storm off and lock your bedroom, in the latter case he lies on the ground in front of the door the whole night sobbing out how sorry he is.

But if you comfort him and tell him its okay, he will just hold onto you and cry.

it takes him a while to forgive himself( a long while) so rough sex is gone, play fighting also gone. he goes silent , withdrawn almost depressed. You need to be patient, let him understand he didn't do it on purpose and this changes nothing in your relationship.

overtime things go back to normal, but he refuses to fight with you. He wont do it ever, he will leave , not for weeks but he will never put you to risk again. its like the cycle restarts and it takes him a while for him to trust himself around you when he's mad.

the thing here is, and stop reading the fic if you want to remain delulu (cuz I do too)

jason had a shitty past, he is not gonna be a perfect partner. he is going to be complicated and difficult to be with and you really cant expect anything else. it is very possible he straight up slaps you and then runs away to space for a month and then turns up on your doorsteps sobbing. He will often moan and cry about his past to you, bring it up often, often ruin the mood. He wont let you get a propers night sleep or let you have guy frnds and that an get annoying. ofcourse with love commitment and communication it could hcnage but you do at least for a while have to deal with that. No one expects you to clean up your lovers mess. this is only fiction and should not be romanticized. unless your irl partner died and was tortured for 2 yrs - you shouldn't deal with their shit. you have enough shit of your own to deal with

as a person who was with a guy who is depressed, I can tell you how hard this sort of relationship is. you sacrifice a lot. He developed depression one yr after we started dating, I left him 10 months after that. For 10 months I stayed with a guy who was cheating on me then calling em and crying about how "violated he felt" after consensually getting blojbs from random girls, randomly dissapearing for 4-5 days without a single text, who never wanted to talk anything about me not even for a minute, who couldn't listen to my problems but expected me to stay up 4 hours till like 6am even though I usually sleep at 11pm and then get up at 7am for practice. And I did it all, because he was depressed and I felt guilty about leaving him . But you need to prioritize yourself no matter how hot or broken a dude is. unlike jason, you can not "fix him".

[degreedummy]

24° across each placement~

24° Sun- can be someone known to be secretive, or a liar. accused of stealing, or enjoys doing it. a big theme of a 24° Sun is struggling very hard to convince people of their honesty, no matter how much proof is on their side. this is someone who prefers to work alone, but does well with teams, their focus is maintaining the freedom to adapt and make changes where they see fit. a loss of control, or theft of control, is often what drives them to isolation.

24° Moon- a Moon of this degree is often someone who often avoids sharing their opinions, feeling like they unintentionally ignite massive arguments by 'saying things they feel other people aren't acknowledging', pulling monsters out of the shadows and then being confused by the chaos. this is an innocent spirit, one who often values complete honesty. in my mind, they live at the extremes of talking too much and not talking enough, struggling to balance their thoughts with other peoples feelings.

24° Ascendant- often, a 24° Ascendant is someone who sees a challenge in privacy, who isn't considering trust at all when keeping basic information for people. in a backward way, they enjoy people making the effort to dig, to have enough interest to ask questions and push conversations, and the only way to find those people is by setting out a maze. at the same time, many people don't want to play games, and setting down this antagonistic way of communicating can be hard for someone who isn't used to telling people things directly.

24° Mercury- while i do think this degree placement of a Mercury can reflect secretiveness, i also think it can describe selectiveness. if you are on the outside of this Mercury, there is no way for you to get in, there is no way for you to earn its trust, you are simply out of consideration. they aren't mean about it most of the time, but believe in it as fact, that they cannot trust you and will not let you close to them. on the other side, to be let in means to have their trust forever, even through abuse of it. this is someone who forgives the people they love, repeatedly, and it can be very hard for them to accept that they need to end a relationship that is only hurting them. most importantly, i think they have to learn that they weren't the ones to ruin the trust. ending the relationship is how you respond to trust being broken.

24° Mars- a Mars at 24° will often describe someone who will communicate their problems with you through another person, being so conflict avoidant that they'll nominate other people to have the conversation. this isn't to say they don't talk to people at all, but if there is any threat of conflict, they will do their best to line the room with pillows. this Mars does their best to go their longest without acknowledging a problem, no matter how obvious it is to everyone else.

24° Venus- this is someone looking to run away with new love, who wants to start a new life with someone they anticipate a desire to change for. while this willingness to sacrifice themselves is admirable, it can also be thankless, and that's when it becomes dangerous. to lose themselves in people is a risk, and to give up on everything they knew before that person is a bigger risk, so giving into a dream is something they have to question deeply.

[booksmood]

I humbly offer you a (kind of long) sneak peek of the fanfic I’m cooking up following the latest 19 days chapter

(I’m hoping to have the full thing posted on my ao3 @ sun_monsterz later this week, once my midterms are over and I can finish writing it!)

Mo had kept everything.

The proof was laid out right in front of him, yet it was still so hard for He Tian to believe. His old sweater. Their photos together. The studs Tian chose for him, and the piercing gun along with it. Even the note he’d written on scrap paper in middle school, a confession of sorts: ‘I don’t want you to like me more and more. Those words were lies.’

It was crushingly sentimental for Mo. Their relationship had been built up over the years on wordless affection rather than proper communication, especially surrounding matters of the heart, so Tian always had to assume that the love he felt was mutual.

Now, seeing all of this? It was as close to a confirmation of feelings that he thought he might ever get considering the new distance between them.

Following Tian’s sudden return, Mo seemed to have his guard constantly raised. Any hint of affection was met with immediate pushback, and any playful insinuations shot down with what Tian hoped were just harsh words that lacked truth, meant to hurt him as much as he now knew his departure hurt Mo.

Sometimes, when Tian tried to lighten things between them, he could see hints of the internal battle happening inside Mo. A blush that he tried to hide, or his increasingly delayed annoyance in response to affection. It made Tian hopeful that Mo still wanted him in this way, even if he didn’t trust Tian enough to accept being together again.

He knew everything that was broken between them was his fault, and that he didn’t deserve Mo’s forgiveness. Even still, the idea that he might no longer occupy a part of Mo’s heart remained an ever-growing fear that constantly ate away at him.

They desperately needed to talk, but neither of them wanted to make the leap towards that level of vulnerability. Communication was always where they faltered, but with Mo’s defences raised ever since he returned, and the finding of this box of keepsakes, Tian ached to be near him. To spill the contents of his heart until there was no doubt in Mo’s mind that he loved him unconditionally and always would.

It was all too much.

He couldn’t make himself look away from the box and its contents, the sides taped and re-taped several times over. It was clear that Mo had been through its contents with careful hands; everything was in pristine condition, as if handled delicately, though every remnant of He Tian’s face was carefully covered with thick white tape.

Tian picked up his old middle school ID card, feeling an overwhelming wave of emotion hit his chest. He swallowed down the emerging lump in his throat, his composure slipping away as the realization that he was remembered—that he could mean something important to someone—washed over him.

He knew he shouldn’t be seeing any of this. Mo had told him not to touch anything before leaving for work. It was just Tian’s luck that the first box he’d opened contained likely the most sensitive things of Mo’s that he would find in the apartment.

These were all the fragmented pieces of their past together. The fact that Mo still held on to them proved all of Tian’s desperate hopes, and simultaneously all of his fears. Because this was evidence that at some point and maybe even still, Mo really did love him. He hadn’t forgotten about Tian like he pretended to. The contents of this box proved that Mo treated their memories as something precious, not something to be discarded or forgotten.

But it was also clear that at some point, Mo decided he wanted to forget. The erasure of Tian’s face from every photo was telling of that deep hurt. Mo’s heart had been thoroughly broken by his indefinite departure, yet even still, he never let himself be completely rid of these special pieces of their past.

Tian decided he would never forgive himself for all of this brokenness he’d caused. As much as he feared being forgotten, he hated himself more knowing Mo was struggling with whether to remember him and live with the hurt of his absence, or let go and live peacefully.

When the tightness in his chest eventually became too much to bear, Tian placed the ID card back atop the pile of their memories, and slid himself backwards on the floor, further away from the box.

He buried his head in his arms and rested them on his knees, letting himself feel everything for the first time in years. It was a terrible truth, knowing Mo had been suffering through all the time they were apart. He felt a wash of shame for it, but even worse was the small part of him that grew sickly exhilarated, knowing the desperate love filling his chest was very likely reciprocated.

It felt like his heart would burst with all the warring emotions inside him. He was both desperate to see Mo, and terribly ashamed, wanting to hide from him until he could convincingly pretend he had never seen this memory box and learned the true contents of Mo’s heart. He wanted to kiss Mo until he knew Tian loved him like he would never be able to love another person, and he wanted to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness knowing he would never truly deserve it.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, regulating his breathing and scrubbing away the faint traces of wetness on his cheeks, he began moving himself around the tiny apartment unit in a blurry daze.

Minutes turned into hours as he made and remade the bed, cooked something barely edible with the leftover ingredients from last night, and eventually settled himself back on the floor, staring at Mo’s number on his phone as he contemplated calling him just to hear his voice and know that this man��impossibly—still cared about him.

He thought he should probably go outside, take a walk and get some fresh air to clear his mind, though he didn’t want to be away from Mo, and this place held all the traces of his presence. It was selfish, but learning of the box made him need Mo like the air in his lungs. The scary thing was, he didn’t think Mo needed him anymore.

He stared at his phone for another long moment, and then gave in and called.

[thousandyearphantombunker]

The Owl House Critical Post, scroll away now I don't know if I am being too harsh in this post but I wrote it anyway so if you don't wanna read something potentially upsetting this is a warning (to those who decide to read please tell me if I'm being too harsh)

I remember initially hating how the show handled its villains, they all felt like jokes, they never felt like threats or like they provided a meaningful challenges for the main cast, they never had any real depth or complexity. but i bit my tongue, I was told that I was basically a dumbass for complaining that Bump openly breaks a law that's supposed to be punishable by death so that Luz could fulfill her witchy fantasy and that he wasn't arrested. the show could've had him make the multiclass student thing be something underground- boom it lets luz live out her fantasy but doesn't ignore what was established about the setting and creates potential stakes if these underground classes ever got discovered! That already made me angry but the cult thing is what I wanted to complain about- i only had basic ass knowledge about cults and TOH fails at portraying that crap, most people in the EC can just quit and do so in a way that makes it feel like they're just quitting a job, it doesn't feel like they fear losing their friends or sense belonging and community, they don't feel like they're anything but jokes. Leaving a cult is scary, often times cults will send their followers into the real world and set them up to have bad experiences so they'll come running back, they'll hire thugs to scare them into staying or position them in away so that they suffer (sending them out without money or the skills to survive), they humiliate those who begin to ask questions so that they stay in line. guilt tripping, putting members against each other, cutting off contact with the rest of the world! The show only adds the whole 'forced to fight on a mountain' thing for flavor! Everytime it brings up actual stuff cults do it feels like it's more for flavor than actually writing this topic with sensitivity- look at how they treat Lilith! Imo It feels like the show insulting people for ever trusting belos, treating them like they're braindead and could've just realized fairly easily that he was evil. It's the most egregious with hunter who was basically fucking born into the EC. the show is also pretty black and white, which is curious for a show that gets praise for its portrayal of religious trauma. You think the show would be more grey. I did deeper research into cults and just got SO tired of people talking about how good the show was at conveying such a heavy topic. The titan reveal also doesn't help- Luz is told by an all powerful deity that she is the chosen one basically and is told that old man is evil and needs to go down- isn't that the same justification that belos uses for his actions- not saying belos should've gotten redemption or forgiveness but this feels wrong. He deserved to die don't get me wrong but using this justification feels gross. What's even worse is that the titan made Philip's life harder on purpose- ah yeah that brainwashed cult victim would totally change his mind especially if you make his life harder- yeah I would've preferred if belos was depicted in a flashback just having a bad time on the boiling isles and cherry picked those bad experiences to justify his actions. Also I hate that the show just writes belos off as greedy and glory seeking when it could've conveyed a message about how people can get absolutely get warped by religious dogma. I do wonder though if I'm being too harsh because TOH is for kids and I was told it would be hard to portray this stuff in a way kids could understand. I can come up with ways to make the breaking the law openly thing less egregious but I am struggling to think of ways the show could have handled the cult thing, I am aware that maybe I'm accidentally saying stuff that is kind of bad faith but this is my truth. I feel like TOH wasn't good at villains and it sure as hell didn't write cults well

[lurkingshan]

Theory of Love Episode 11: He’s Just Not That Into You

One of my favorite episodes of this show paired with a truly execrable film. I will never forgive Hollywood for making this movie or Third for making me relive it. In brief:

A bunch of horrible white people fuck around with each other in a series of tepid romantic plot lines that center on the idea that women are all pathetic clingers who desperately want to be loved while men are mostly not that into them. The misogyny in this film is so deeply embedded that even when they attempt to gender flip this dynamic it still manages to come out incredibly sexist. In the end the film completely undercut its own thesis anyway by giving the most pathetic character an unearned happy romance ending, contra everything the film claimed to be preaching about how we should take the way people treat us at face value. Whatever!

This movie sucks big time, but it did have some fairly obvious connections to this episode of Theory of Love, which is all about the messes that result from relationships where there is little trust and uneven certainty about each other's level of investment. We ended last week with Third and Khai finally together, but Third struggling to trust that Khai's interest in him is genuine and lasting, and a wild Ching Ching on the way to make trouble. And make trouble, she did.

Third spends most of this episode in a premium Drama Queen sulk after catching Khai allegedly kissing new girl Ching Ching at a bar. We don't get the full reveal of what happened in this episode, but it's fairly obvious from the set up and Khai's demeanor in the aftermath that it was not what it looked like and Third has not been betrayed. But Third is not at all open to hearing that and steadfastly refuses to let Khai explain what really happened. I've said from the beginning of this watch that one of Third's defining characteristics is that he loves to wallow and is a little bit in love with his own misery, and that was on full display in this episode. He refused to communicate for this entire episode, leaving his relationship with Khai in a strained limbo.

Which leaves Khai to flail and try his best to continue preparing for their planned beach trip with the guys, just hoping Third will cool down and show up and all will be well. I have to give Khai a lot of credit for the way he handled Third's blow up in this episode. He understood why the situation with Ching Ching looked the way it did to Third and didn't get upset about being accused of something he obviously didn't do (or about Third retaliating by kissing a random dude at the bar). He immediately tried to clear the air with him, and backed off when it was clear Third was too worked up to listen. He gave him the space he asked for and continued planning for their trip, and he showed up as promised despite Third not talking to him for days. Khai was so understanding and resigned to the way Third was treating him that I actually started to feel sad for him. He didn't deserve to be iced out like that, or for his other friends to assume the worst and abandon him, standing him up for their beach trip.

To his credit, Third was horrified when he realized they had left Khai alone at the train station. He wanted to punish Khai and have a good sulk privately, but he never intended for Two and Bone to abandon Khai, as well. (That is almost entirely on Two, who acted a fool in a number of ways in this episode. I dislike that character more on every watch of this show.) We got a great classic romcom run as Third bolted for the station and saw his tearful dismay at realizing Khai had been waiting there for them all day. It genuinely shook Third to realize Khai waited for him because he wanted to keep his promise. In this moment he finally seemed to understand and accept Khai's sincerity.

Rewatching this episode I was thinking a lot about @waitmyturtles's review of TOL. Her thoughts about how hard it is to change when the people around you don't want to let you were echoing in my head while I watched Khai's friends misunderstand his efforts and dismiss his attempts to show up for them. Third has been holding on to his hurt for a long time, and he's struggling to accept that things with Khai have truly changed. In a way, it's more comfortable for him if Khai goes back to disappointing him, because at least it's something he understands. Trusting Khai and putting his honest feelings on the line is a risk. But if he wants to move forward, it's one he has to take.

[petrichormore]

yknow a moment from today that I feel is really under appreciated and kinda highlights the difference between the people q!Bad trusts and the people he doesn’t?

(this is about the characters obviously. You cannot make me use q! on long analysis posts. None of you can make me.)

Aypierre was showing Bad the room he used to capture and question Fred, and built into the only entry into the main room was an inventory scanner.

An inventory scanner - the thing Bad was hesitant to use to save Forever because he was scared of the islanders knowing of its existence and turning it against him. He did it anyway obviously because he cares about Forever but it’s clear he knows this is the one thing that could remove all his carefully built up protections in an instant. And the only way into the room was through it.

So Bad stops, of course, and Aypierre (who already walked through it first) notices and goes “I’ll just give you your items back, come through”

And Bad says “Ehhhh no, I…”

And Aypierre reassures him “You can come through. Don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t worry.

And Bad repeats “Ehhhh no…” And then “Forgive my paranoia, can you disable it? Or make an opening for me?” He asks it very politely too, as if he believes it’s a hard ask (it’s not).

And Aypierre does. That’s why I think this moment is underrated. Bad asks for forgiveness for his paranoia - a paranoia that has been built up and rewarded and reinforced by his experiences on the island - and yet Aypierre doesn’t treat it like a burden. He doesn’t complain about it, he doesn’t tell Bad he’s overreacting, and he certainly doesn’t try to guilt-trip or otherwise insist Bad go through when he’s clearly uncomfortable. He just… makes another opening, and Bad walks through that, and the moment of hesitance, of distrust, is left behind. Not just left behind, but accepted. From Bad’s perspective, Aypierre has essentially communicated that “I can see you don’t trust me fully, and that’s okay, I understand why. It’s not a big deal, and I can move on.”

And I think that acceptance is why Aypierre has managed to gain an impressive amount of Bad’s trust so much faster than other islanders. I think that’s why when he told Bad he put cameras in his house, Bad didn’t get upset.

A lot of islanders, even islanders that are Bad’s friends, would not have reacted the way Aypierre did to Bad not wanting to step through the inventory scanner. And it does make a difference.

[monstermoviedean]

i don't think it's hard to understand why dean is so upset in late season 14 / early season 15. he has plenty of good reasons, including mary's death and the chuck reveal. but i did want to ponder why he's upset with cas specifically.

i originally saw it as part of a pattern - a straw breaking dean's back, so to speak. that the problem is not really that cas kept his concerns about jack a secret, but more that cas keeps a lot of things secret, even when those secrets put others at risk. more that dean forgives and forgives and pleads with cas to just tell him these things, and cas says he will and/or apologizes but doesn't ever change.

i still believe that pattern is relevant. but when you think about it, the snake is kind of a big deal. even if you don't get into all the things the snake represents regarding jack, the snake is in pain because it experienced a loss (according to jack at least, who is the only one able to communicate with it and may not be a reliable narrator). jack sees it as a mercy to end the snake's life and send it to snake heaven (side note: snake heaven?!). and we could debate the ethics of that that all day long. but from the perspective of dean, who is often in pain and often experiencing loss and does not want people to make choices about his life for him, it probably feels a little different. because if a snake can outlive its usefulness to jack, why can't a person? why can't several people? if jack is trying to end suffering due to loss, why stop at one snake? who's next? is it cas? sam? mary?

and then. it is mary. we have a slightly better idea of why jack killed mary than dean, sam, or cas do. jack says it was an accident (later he calls it a mistake), and it may well have been. but dean, sam, and cas have absolutely no way of knowing. so dean, in deep grief and pain, has to take jack at his word that killing mary was an accident. and then cas tells him he knew about the snake and was worried about jack all along but didn't tell anyone. cas had clear evidence of jack ending a life for no apparent reason. and between cas discovering this and cas revealing this, jack ended another life for no apparent reason. not just a life, but the life of someone he knew and claimed to care for.

i think this raises a lot of questions for dean. what else is cas keeping from him? what else would cas do to protect jack? what happens to those who get in jack's way? and how will cas react then? does jack see value in life, or only in certain lives? if he can't trust cas, who he has intentionally chosen to trust over and over again, then who can he trust? and then chuck shows up and amplifies everything by an indescribably huge magnitude because now dean is asking all these questions while also wondering if any of his life mattered and if his family (especially cas and jack) were just chuck's pawns all along.

it's not all about the snake, but also, it is.

[tokiwarcube]

Hi !! Can I request a fluff alphabet for Charles offdensen? ^^

I love your writing btw your one of my favorite mtl writers >_< !!

Aw, thank you so much for the kind words!! I left a few letters out here and there, mostly for overlapping reasons, but most of 'em are here. Regardless -- enjoy! <3

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

It’s difficult, the life Charles leads. Being a manager was a full-time job, and that was nothing compared to being the High Holy Priest. He sees a future with you, and it’s bright and everything he’s ever wanted… and yet for the first time in his life, he struggles to put it into words. It’s more of a feeling than a concrete vision — sleepy mornings in bed, the touch of smooth silk and velvet, and a light roast coffee so fresh that the steam still rises from it. He dreams of calm, whatever that might actually be.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He’s a mix, but he definitely leans towards the more dominant side of things. He knows when to go with the flow, and when to let you make the decisions, but at the end of the day he’s a man of immense calculation and control. It’s nice to be taken care of, regardless.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He doesn’t get angry often, but when he does, he has the tendency to pull back and isolate himself a bit. Which, ironically, is usually the source of any arguments. Arguments are rare, but when they happen, they’re usually resolved with a bit of communication.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s grateful beyond words — I elaborate on this a bit more in the next prompt, but truly, you are so, so important to him. And despite the hectic nature of his life, he really does make every effort to show you just how much you mean to him.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Are we not changed by everyone we meet? Charles is fundamentally still the same person after falling in love with you of course, but you teach him a lot. How to take a damn breath, chiefly. But it’s more than that. It’s easy, with the amount of responsibility that he’s saddled with, to forget that he is still just a man. A human man, carrying the literal weight of the world on his back. The importance of your presence in his life cannot be understated. He’s not sure what he would do without you by his side.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Not really, no. He trusts you completely, and he’s fantastic at reading peoples’ intent. Jealousy happens maybe once in a lifetime with him, and even then, that’s a strong maybe. In the event that it does happen, he’s quiet about it. Might stand a fraction closer to you than normal, or perhaps give you his jacket if its an appropriate setting for it — all little things that are all but imperceptible to anyone but you.

K iss - Are they a good kisser?

He kisses like he’s committing the moment to memory. It doesn’t matter when or where it is — if he’s kissing you, his lips will always linger for just a second longer as you part. He tends to keep his kisses chaste, although this isn’t a hard rule by any means.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

“Dear” and “sweetheart” are his go-tos — he finds most petnames to be awkward. They sound clunky and ingenuine to him, save for those two. And besides, there’s a million other “babes” in the world… your name though, that’s special. He’ll cycle between just using your name, and his two classics, with a slightly stronger lean towards “dear.”

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He’s all soft smiles and leisurely glances. Firm hands on the small of your back in crowds, quick texts to check in on you when you’re apart. Lots of little things that wouldn’t ping as “head over heels in love” to anyone but you, really.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

It depends on the situation. He’s unlikely to bring up your relationship to the boys unprompted, but he won’t deny the accusations should they come across. Any questions of why he didn’t tell them sooner is simply met with a "You didn’t ask,” or an “I didn’t think it was relevant.” He’s not one to kiss in front of others, although it’s less out of shyness and more out of professionalism — although again, he won’t reject you if you steal a kiss from him, in most circumstances. Although, he is reluctant to show off your relationship to the media, or anyone outside of the band — He might not be under the same threat of attack as the boys, but he’s not exempt from danger. He’d prefer not to put you in any unnecessary risk.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s such a closet romantic. You wouldn’t think it with the exterior he puts up for everyone else, but he’s so 50’s in showing his love — in a good way! If you let him plan a date, he’s the type to default to flowers and a nice dinner. It’s not cliché, it’s a tried and true classic. He’s happy to go along with any adventures you plan though, even if it is a bit out of his normal depth.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, yes. He’s happy to lend a hand if you need it, and will move mountains for you if you say the word. But if you want to do things solo, that’s okay too — he’s here every step of the way, quietly cheering you on.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Left to his own devices, he’s prone to falling into a routine. It’s a quiet desire, and one that he really doesn’t get to have 9 times out of 10. So when it comes to you, he takes the certainty of little actions as the boons that they are. Although if you like to live a little more on the wild side, fret not: He’s good at keeping up. Just, you know, don’t forget about movie night. He looks forward to it, you know.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Charles is great at committing little details to memory, and nowhere is that more evident than with you. He knows you damn well — your likes, dislikes, odd childhood memories and little tells.

Empathy is a difficult concept that I struggle to really quantify. He’s not empathetic in the “you are sad, therefore I am sad” way, but that doesn’t mean he’s uncaring. It’s quite the opposite, in fact. He picks up on your emotions very quick, and while he doesn’t empathize in the traditional way, he cares with a deep intensity. He’s there for you through thick and thin, and will do anything in his power to help.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He’s a secret enjoyer of fiction novels, and really enjoys reading with you. He’s not a stickler for staying “on topic,” either — he doesn’t mind if you derail a bit to poke fun at one of the characters. He finds it endearing actually, to the point where it spawns a lot of silly inside jokes between the two of you. And weirdly, despite giving so many speeches, he is deeply prone to stammering when reading. Once the suit comes off, the man gets completely tongue tied.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He’s affectionate in his own way. He’s not a velcro partner, and he’s not going to hunt you down to pull you into an embrace. But he plays with your hands absentmindedly, always keeps a hand on you in crowds, and insists on hooking (and later unhooking) your necklaces every time you wear one. He’s adamant about getting a “good-morning” kiss, and struggles to sleep without you by his side at night.

… and don’t tell anyone, but he’s a secret cuddler at bedtime.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He’s good at coping, genuinely. He’ll shoot you an extra text or two while you’re gone, and might be prone to checking his lockscreen a bit more often (both to see if you’ve messaged him, and to look at the photo of you that adorns it). But other than that, he likely throws himself into his work a bit more. Might as well be productive.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

To the Doomstar and back again.

[woosked]

Thinking about the thorns path on slay the princess, it's so beautiful and hits home

You betray her in the beginning, though maybe not by your own volition, and she dies on the floor, feeling betrayed and hurt

Then in the second route, you attempt to reconcile, and put your life in her hands via giving her the blade, a sign of trust and genuine remorse, and she kills you with it. Of course she does, you betrayed her and has had unknown amounts of time to build resentment towards you, and she finally sees you again and your trying to make amends when you never indicated you were ever sorry before now.

She is confused and conflicted when she stabs you, and you don't fight back, she doesn't understand why you did that, and in the end it doesn't work for her either

And on the third cycle, you two meet face to face again, and this time she's bound by thorns and being constantly tortured by briars. She questions you as to why you did what you did, she doesn't understand why you tried to trust her when she doesn't trust you at all, and after talking more, you two come to a sort of compromise.

Your still suspicious of each other, but you put trust in each other at the same time, and you finally actually get somewhere, are able to make some amends.

"I'm so tired of the bad blood between us. But it's hard to let go. You've hurt me. And I've hurt you..."

But you put it past you for a bit, and put trust in each other for the first time since the very beginning when you first walked into that basement, and she comments on how it was hard to do that, but it worked.

It's an incredible commentary on forgiveness and healing. You have both hurt each other, have lost trust in each other, yet you find it in both of you to put trust in each other once again.

The pain isn't gone, nor the hurt, resentment, feelings of betrayal, or doubt, and you don't pretend like its gone, but forgiveness doesn't mean ignoring the past, but improving the future.

Someone can hurt you, you can hurt someone else, you may have broken each other's hearts and trust intentionally or no, but it's possible to heal, as long as you both put fourth the effort and communicate.

It's a really good lesson for life honestly, whether it be family drama, a fight between friends, a breakup or relationship issues, not all is lost from a few fuckups.

If you both still care about each other, and are willing to change and put in effort, you can heal, and mend your relationship, even if after the fires it's in a different shape.

[flowerwiththemachinegun]

Dead Languages-Chapter 2

Completely unedited, forgive me.

************

“Trust me, this isn’t something to take lightly. Having Mahitotsu occupied will do more harm than good and you’ll never get what you want.” Tseng’s voice is completely unwavering while he speaks despite the topic at hand. Taking his ability of being the only one to communicate with you to warn you. He knew what would happen the minute Shinra took over. How long could Shinra go without making their presence known to all of Wutai? Before they built another faulty reactor that led to disaster with the potential of starting another war. Bringing a lifestyle to people who knew nothing of modern life was cruel, they’ve been managing to live in peace until now. And you would be to blame. It’s not like Tseng was solely thinking logically on your behalf. If the Wutai government is to find out what’s becoming a part of their land, they would surely retaliate. Such an underhanded tactic to take over Wutai. Perhaps, if it didn’t hit Tseng so close to home, it wouldn’t have bothered him at all. 

“And what is it you think I want?” You seemed tired by now, huffing at Tseng as you spoke through the small window of the cell they’ve placed you in until Rufus could make sure you weren’t telling a complete lie. A quick overhead view of the area from a helicopter should do for the time being, after Rufus would accompany the two of you to have a closer inspection of the area where the citizens reside, sending Reno, Rude and Elena along with extra troopers to explore the flora and fauna of the region.  

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that you were still locked away for a small amount of time. Let Tseng tell it, you’ll be out of custody and thrown into his care within the next week or two. There was the tiniest bit of reassurance knowing Tseng would visit you daily. It was the best you could hold onto for now even though you didn’t entirely trust Tseng and with the way he still questioned you, it was apparent he mirrored your weariness. He appeared to be honest enough, though this did nothing to make you feel more comfortable in the cramped box you were stuffed in. 

“I think you want power. Your course of action sounds more like a dictator. Why not let nature take its course? I’m sure they would rather see it that way as well.” 

“Why do that when we could have more? We could integrate with the rest of the world. There’s so much out there that I’ve discovered could help make life more convenient.” 

“This world isn’t as kind as you’re taking it to be. I know it’s a hard concept to grasp right now. You’ll learn.” What Tseng truly thought of you he kept hidden well, though he’s made it obvious he finds you to be naive and volatile. 

Emphasizing that he would return to make sure you were being taken care of before leaving you to your own devices. Not that there was much to do, laying in the hard cot in the corner of the room you try to get some well needed rest.

*******

This has been the longest week ever. Not being able to see the time of day made it no better and it was making you lose your mind. Tseng hadn’t been by in four days, breaking his promise of checking on you daily. It shouldn’t bother you so much, but it’s the only comfortable interaction you’ve had since you left your village. 

The moment you see him you’re going to grill him about where he’s been. Leaving you in here with only the exchanges of guards who clearly didn’t care to do their job nor understand what you were trying to say. Easily they ignored you and carried about their day, only stopping to give you whatever mysterious food you would leave untouched. Save for the bread, that was enough to stomach. Showering with other inmates had to be amongst one of the most uncomfortable experiences of your life, the feelings of eyes on you was nerve racking. Luckily that was the only time you had to leave your cell. 

Pacing back and forth was starting to wear on your own nerves, what was originally boredom transitioned into worry that you had been left behind. The walls felt as though they were closing in each day and sleep was getting harder to come by, only dozing off for an hour at a time. Maybe they decided to lock you away, keeping you here for the rest of your life. That scared you more than anything, the thought of being robbed the pleasure of going outside sickened you. 

Tseng said nothing to indicate he wouldn’t be coming back, the lack of communication was a red flag. A part of you was concerned if you put him in any immediate danger by speaking of his origins. It was one of the only thoughts keeping your anger at bay at being left in this tiny room. The only thing you could do is slump against the wall and accept defeat. 

Finally as the end of the tenth day went by, Tseng finally showed his face. At first you were relieved then unable to hide your frustrations as he opened the door of your cell to meet him with a disapproving gaze. “Where have you been?” 

“I’ve been busy with other matters. I apologize for leaving you here this long,” Motioning for you to make your way towards the door, automatically you hop to your feet, gravitating towards Tseng in the hopes you’d be able to seek refuge with him and leave the storage container of a cell. “Come with me, you’re free to go. Well, don’t take that literally, you’re coming home with me. We’ll review the limitations of where you can and cannot go once we are home. Understood?” 

Nodding your head as you swallow the temptation to push Tseng to the side, run out of the door, and into the comfort of your temporary home. Only you don’t know where to go, you have no choice but to be tethered to this man for quite some time, something you knew would have to be accepted sooner than later. It just didn’t feel right, having to solely rely on someone. Which you’re capable of doing most day to day tasks just fine, you’re sure of that at least. It can’t be too different from where you once were. Except you know that it is, it’s a small comfort to tell yourself this though, so you’ll continue telling yourself you’ll be just fine.

They’d done a search of Mahitotsu the day after your imprisonment. Rufus made quick work of capitalizing on making it his own territory. The only hold up was Rufus’ decision on releasing you or not. The conversation made Tseng sick. Very much he should be used to these things, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. The way Rufus claimed to not find you trustworthy in the slightest but was willing to keep you around for a while because you were “useful.” He had every intention of leaving you locked away despite your agreement, pointing out how quickly you gave up the lives of your people. 

Normally Tseng wasn’t one to argue. Orders were orders after all. 

This time Tseng couldn’t keep his mouth shut and allow this to happen. Not to you. Arguing that you were only okay with this because of the false premise of helping Mahitotsu progress. It was an underhanded tactic that left his stomach churning. 

To Tseng’s surprise Rufus listened to what he had to say, it wasn’t often he’d combat his commands. Excuses, all of these could be worked around in the vice president’s opinion. Tseng was able to speak their language fluently still, there wasn’t a need for you. The images that were taken of the landscape provided more than enough information to create a basic map to navigate through the forest-like area. Having you accompany them was a luxury, not a necessity. 

The argument of requiring you because Tseng wouldn’t know any social norms and how to interact outside of greetings held a little. The last thing he wanted to do was make everyone feel disrespected and cause any problems, surely there would be no saving the people of the village if things got violent. Tseng hadn’t been in the village since he was a small child. His parents relocated them once Tseng had been caught speaking a foreign language, thinking he was showing a friend something cool just for him to freak out and tell his people, causing the rest of the village to shun them.  Tseng’s father left once every few months for weeks at a time, bringing back informative materials he’d come across during his explorations of the outside world. In turn he would teach Tseng and his mother about, what he’d call, the new world. Resulting in them simply leaving because there wasn’t anything there for them anymore, they’d at least had each other.

Of course Rufus' response was to force his hand and force them to adhere to his wants, he didn’t want to go about this in a tactful manner, rather cutting down anyone who stands in his way. Rufus was asking for war if he took that approach. 

There was one tactic Tseng hadn’t tried. 

Pleading. 

He was above this. He didn’t want to feel the humiliation and watch the smug look on Rufus’ expression as he begged for him to change his mind. Tseng’s voice hardly came above a whisper, looking at the floor rather than meeting Rufus’ unforgiving gaze. “Please.”

That sick fuck. When Tseng spared Rufus a glance after his plea, he was grinning at him. The word caught him pleasantly off guard, but it didn’t satisfy Rufus enough, he wanted to push Tseng further into submission. What he wanted was Tseng on his knees groveling to protect you. Decidedly, you’d make wonderful leverage, though he knew Tseng wouldn’t reduce himself to getting on his knees and begging for your life. Rufus would test this at least a bit. “I can’t hear you. If you really desire something, you should speak up about it. You wouldn’t want to give me the impression that you aren’t serious do you?”

This time Tseng regained his usual stature, standing tall, this time meeting Rufus’ gaze without breaking eye contact. He wasn’t sure what else to say, begging isn’t something he resorts to. Of course Rufus wanted to demean him, he does it nearly every chance he gets and there isn’t anything Tseng can do or say about it. Usually swallowing his pride and dealing with it. This time was no different, speaking in his usual tone while addressing Rufus this time. His distress visible as he spoke, this was one of the first times Rufus has ever heard Tseng’s voice waver in such a way, nearly cracking. “Please, just give us a chance.” 

“Fine, take care of it and make sure I can make use of them in the time I’ve allowed you.”

******

The moment he brought you home the first thing you asked about was a shower, a change of clothes and sleep. Taking into consideration how horrible Shinra meals are, Tseng did his best to order you something you’d like to eat. His own flavor palate still mirrored what he grew up eating for the short period of time he resided in Mahitotsu. 

Dare Tseng say he found the amount of time you could sleep was outstanding. You told him how little sleep you got through the week, escaping to his bedroom within moments of cleaning up any mess you made. While you did appreciate how comfortable he’s trying to make you, you're starting to shut down due to the lack of decent rest. You’d hope to not come off as rude, but when he showed you where you would be sleeping for the time being your eyes practically lit up and your mouth nearly watered. What did one man need all of this space for? It didn’t matter really, the only thing you wanted was to bury yourself underneath the thick blanket, surround yourself with the plush pillows and shut out the world for a little bit. 

“y/n.” Tseng gently shakes your shoulder to rouse you from your sleep since calling your name had little to no effect. Tseng found it a bit adorable how you peered up from him in the nest you’d made of his bed, (e/c) eyes locking with him before drifting back to sleep. 

“No. I need you to get up,” He’d started dismantling the wall of pillows surrounding you. “Now.” The authoritative ring in his voice helped you get the picture, shoving the blanket off of you only to have Tseng swiftly grab it from hitting the floor with a frown. 

You were up, but you weren’t at all happy about it. If he let you have it your way you’d sleep the entire month away. So far Tseng allowed you two days of rest before trying to teach you a new language. Taking the couch while he gave up his bedroom. Rufus gave him the option of upgrading to a larger space with another room for you. Declining under the guise that he didn’t want to deal with the trouble when it came to moving his things, largely due to this living arrangement being temporary. 

Eventually you emerged from your hole, sitting on the couch next to Tseng, glancing about his apartment curiously. “Why am I up?” 

“You aren’t here to sleep. I gave you more time than any of us would ever get. Don’t get spoiled.” The pile of books on the table indicates the subject of the day. The older books caught your attention. The old handmade paper made your hands gravitate towards it, andthe carvings on the outside of the book seemed familiar. 

As you thumbed through you realized it contained translations to more commonly used languages. The handwriting was far too recognizable, it looked just like the books you found that started your journey to Midgar. There were a good number of them, no doubt they were as extensive as the ones you already read. Carefully pulling back the cover, separating the thin paper that made up the cover. 

“Where did you get these from?” The initials between the papers are the same from every other book you went over, the same spot and all. 

“It was my father’s. He wrote all of these.” 

[daryltwdixon]

The Heart of Us: Chapter 5

After a thorough sweep of the woods, you and Daryl make your way back to the barn, each step in sync, a quiet yet comforting presence by each other’s side. The silence between you isn’t heavy—it’s filled with an understanding that words don’t touch. When you step inside the barn, you find Rick by a small pile of canned goods scavenged from the two cars outside, announcing to the group, “This is ours—no matter if we go to their camp or not.”

“What do you mean?” Carl’s voice breaks through, his eyes wide, arms thrown out in confusion. “Why wouldn’t we go?”

“If he were lying,” Michonne says, her voice low but steady, her gaze shifting from one face to another. “Or if he wanted to hurt us. But he isn’t, and he doesn’t.” Her eyes soften, a rare vulnerability as she continues, “We need this. So we’re going—all of us.” She scans the group, almost challenging anyone to contradict her, but there’s only silence.

You’re not sure what to make of it, not entirely, and every time you think about trusting Aaron’s offer, something in your gut coils, warning you against it. You don’t want to let yourself get your hopes up—hopes of shelter, food, water…a community. That word alone feels fragile, loaded with a promise that could shatter at the first sign of deceit. A community means walls, security, maybe even a chance to breathe without the constant weight of survival pressing down. It almost sounds like some distant dream, and the more you turn it over in your mind, the more you find yourself doubting.

Could it even be true, those steel walls he described? Or was it just a tactic, something he’s practiced to lure people in? Aaron’s eyes had a conviction to them, a confidence you don’t often see anymore, and yet that calm, polished appearance of his—it doesn’t sit right. Out here, survival is supposed to wear you down, mark you with the grime of every hard choice and desperate hour. But Aaron, even beneath his many layers, looked almost untouched by it all. He wasn’t as weathered, his clothes in better shape than anyone else’s, his face clear of the desperation that the rest of you carry. It’s unsettling, really, that he could be so composed while standing there, tied up, surrounded by the people whose trust he claims he’s earned.

You glance at him again, watching him lean against the barn pillar with a strange ease, even with his hands bound. It makes you question even more, the way he can be so calm, so sure of himself, as if this moment—this group staring him down, testing him—was nothing but a formality. How could he be so confident, unless he was hiding something? Every instinct screams that this isn’t normal. No one is supposed to look this certain, not out here.

But the idea of safety keeps nagging at you, creeping in despite your better judgment. A place with walls, with food and water—a place where you don’t have to wake up every few hours to listen for the dead scraping at the door. The temptation alone feels dangerous. You’ve survived this long by relying on instinct, by not letting yourself hope for anything beyond the next meal or a night’s rest. Letting yourself believe in something more feels reckless, like you’re playing with fire in a world that doesn’t forgive those kinds of risks.

And yet, you keep thinking about those walls he mentioned, about what it would mean to stand behind them, to have some piece of security—even just for a little while. Would it be worth the risk? Could you afford not to take it?

As you stare at him, Daryl catches your eye, as if sensing your silent battle. He nods slightly, a reminder that he’s here, that whatever choice you make, he’s with you in this. It grounds you, his steady gaze, but even that can’t fully settle the war inside your head. How much longer can you live like this, clinging to every ounce of mistrust just to survive? But the alternative—trusting a stranger, hoping for something better—feels just as dangerous, just as lethal in its own way.

You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of every doubt as it settles heavily in your chest. Aaron may be promising salvation, but every fiber in you resists. You aren’t ready to believe him. You can’t be—not yet. But the whispers of what he’s offering linger all the same, haunting you with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, something better still exists out there. You decide, in the end, to leave it up to Rick, to the others—the ones you trust with your life now, the people who have become your family. Every doubt, every instinct warning you against this still gnaws at you, but you know that if there’s anyone you’d trust to make this call, it’s them.

They’ve been with you through every dark moment, every narrow escape, every desperate hour. You’ve seen Rick shoulder the weight of impossible choices, seen Michonne’s calm wisdom guide the group forward, seen Daryl’s watchful eyes catch threats before they could strike. They’re the ones you trust to see through the deception if there’s any to be seen, to decide what’s right and what will keep you all safe. You feel the warmth of their presence around you, a silent reminder that you’re not in this alone.

“I don’t know, man” Daryl grumbles, breaking your silent inner dilemma, and he’s looking over to Rick as you settle in around them, “this barn smells like horse shit.” You glance at him, trying to read him, to understand how he can even entertain trusting Aaron when there’s so much at stake.

“Yeah, we’re going,” Rick says, voice barely more than a whisper, but the certainty in his tone is undeniable. You twist your head toward him, surprised by his conviction, but he’s already turned to Aaron to ask where his camp is exactly.

Aaron doesn’t answer right away, a stubborn silence settling over him as he looks Rick dead in the eye. “Every time I’ve done this, I’ve driven recruits home,” he says finally, his voice steady but cautious. “I believe you’re good people—I’d bet my life on it. But I’m not ready to bet my friends’ lives just yet.”

“You’re not driving,” you snap from where you lean against one of the wooden beams, eyes narrowed. “If you want to get home, you have to tell us how.” The tension in your voice leaves no room for argument.

Rick takes the lead, laying out a plan with careful precision. “We’ll take back roads,” he says, overriding Aaron’s suggestions of the cleared routes they’ve used before. Aaron bristles, his jaw tightening as he protests.

“The roads we use are cleared. They’re safe—your detours could put us all at risk,” he insists, his tone edging toward frustration.

Rick’s expression doesn’t waver, his voice low and final. “We’re not taking the main routes. We go at night. If it’s not safe, we’re gone before they even know we’re coming.”

His words settle heavily in the barn, lingering in the cold air. There’s some argument from a few of the others—murmurs of risk, of whether there’s sense in going at night, of the danger that waits in the dark. But as they think it over, the objections quiet. It’s clear that the stealth, the cover of nightfall, is the best way to approach this unknown place.

You feel a ripple of tension run through you at the thought of heading into the dark, of what might lurk along the way. But it makes sense. If you’re going to scout this supposed community, to see if it’s real, if it’s safe, then it has to be done with caution, away from open roads, out of sight. The idea of being out there, in the open, exposed like prey…no, you wouldn’t give anyone the chance to make you targets, to line you up like game.

Everyone seems to come to the same conclusion. The quietest, stealthiest way is the only way to approach this. You glance around at your group, their faces set in determination. They know the risks, but each of them is ready, prepared to move without a word, as if you’re all part of a single, silent shadow.

Aaron’s bound hands flex in frustration as he leans against the pillar. “No one is going to hurt you,” he says, his voice straining with an almost desperate plea. “You’re trying to protect your group, but you’re putting them in danger!”

Rick turns to him, his eyes cold and piercing. “Tell me where your camp is, and we’ll leave right now.”

But Aaron only shakes his head, holding his silence. The quiet stretches, each unspoken word a testament to his own determination, his own wariness, until finally, Rick nods, the plan set. “Alright, then. Eat, rest. We leave when night falls.” His words hang heavy, as if to remind everyone that their survival rests on their vigilance, on every detail of the night to come. You pull away to gather what you need, but your gaze lingers on Aaron, watching his every move, every twitch, bracing yourself for whatever waits on the road ahead.

➳

Night wraps around you like a cloak as you settle into the RV with the others, joining the huddled group around Judith and Carl, who clutch onto each other amidst the tense silence. In the driver’s seat, Daryl keeps a firm grip on the wheel, eyes flicking up to the rearview mirror, ever watchful of what lies behind. Ahead, the small car where Rick, Michonne, and Glenn sit with Aaron leads the way, its headlights a beacon down the twisting back roads and darkened parallel highways that stretch out like uncharted territory.

Your gaze drifts around the RV, landing on the new face: Eric. His slender frame, gentle bone structure, and disarmingly big smile feel foreign to you out here. His bright eyes seem almost too hopeful, too friendly, like he belongs to a world that stopped existing long ago. You shift, instinctively guarded. People aren’t supposed to be this…happy. Not anymore. He sits quietly with his wrists tied, a gesture he’d offered up without protest when you'd met him on the road, but still, your instincts keep you on edge.

A flash of movement catches your eye, and you twist around to peer out the front window, your blood running cold as you see the car ahead suddenly lurch to a stop. Glenn’s brake lights blaze red in the darkness, and the hair on the back of your neck rises as you realize what’s ahead.

“Daryl! Stop!” you scream, lunging from the side couch toward the front, gripping the back of his seat. Daryl’s head jerks up at your shout, and he slams on the brakes, bringing the RV to a screeching halt. It stops just in time, or else you would’ve hit straight into the sedan in front of you when they slammed on their own breaks, but now they're lost ahead in the darkness. You strain forward, eyes widening as the faint light from the car illuminates the scene ahead—a mass of walkers, a dense, writhing herd that stretches across the road, nothing but gore and decay under the night sky. Glenn had smashed through many of them, but their car is far up ahead, covered in a mass of walkers. You can only hope they got out the second the car came to a stop.

Without hesitation, you turn, shouting back to the others. “Everyone, out! Go!” You’re already moving, your pulse hammering in your ears. “We can’t stay here!”

Daryl cuts the engine, grabbing his crossbow with swift efficiency and throwing open the door. The second it opens, the chilling sound of hissing and snarling walkers fills the air, the undead riled up by the noise and the scent of fresh prey. Daryl positions himself just outside, ready to cover the exit as you swing into place on the other side, rifle raised. The others begin spilling out, feet hitting the dirt, the group dissolving into a flurry of hurried movement.

“Get into the woods, we’re right behind ya,” you bark, your voice carrying over the chaos as you take aim, firing off a shot that drops the closest walker. There’s no time for quiet kills now—you just need to get everyone out. You catch a glimpse of Carl clutching Judith close, her small face scrunched in panic as he shields her from the carnage. You shove down the worry gnawing at you for the others, praying that Rick and the others in the car have managed to break through the herd and find safety.

Once everyone’s out, you and Daryl fall into formation, him leading at the front, you taking the rear, your rifle ready, every nerve on high alert as you scan the dark woods around you. Branches snap underfoot, shadows twisting and shifting as you make your way deeper into the trees, the forest enveloping you in its black embrace. The walkers’ snarls grow fainter, but the cries of Judith—her sudden, frightened sobs—remind you that the threat is far from over.

The woods seem endless, branches clawing at you from every angle as you and the others press forward, ducking and weaving through the underbrush, trying to stay one step ahead of the walkers clawing their way closer. The darkness around you is punctuated by flashes of movement, snarling faces, and the sound of desperate breaths and hurried footsteps. You barely have time to think, your instincts taking over as you fire off quick, silent kills, keeping the path clear as you all move deeper into the woods.

Up ahead, the faint outline of an old structure appears, barely visible through the trees. It’s an old manufacturing facility, abandoned and crumbling, its cement walls worn down by time and decay. Relief flares briefly in your chest; it could offer at least a temporary reprieve. “There—keep moving!” you call, urging the others on as the walkers close in.

Just then, a stumble and a sharp cry cut through the noise, and you turn to see Eric, Aaron’s friend, sprawled on the ground, his eyes wide with terror as he scrambles to push himself up. But it’s too late—a walker is nearly on top of him, its rotting mouth open, hands reaching, ready to tear into him. Without hesitation, you leap forward, driving your knife deep into the walker’s skull. It crumples, collapsing onto the ground beside Eric.

He looks up at you, dazed, clutching his ankle with a grimace. “I—I think I sprained it,” he stammers, his voice shaky.

“Great timing,” you mutter sarcastically as you haul him to his feet. Begrudgingly, you slide his arm around your shoulders, bearing his weight as you urge him forward. “Hold on tight, we’re moving.”

You press on, your arm wrapped tightly around Eric as you drag him through the brush, every step a reminder of the urgency pressing in from all sides. Daryl keeps glancing back from the front of the group, his jaw tight as he clears the path ahead, pushing through the undergrowth until you all finally burst into the clearing just outside the facility. The others reach the entrance, rushing inside as you stagger toward the cement walls with Eric leaning heavily on you.

Once inside, you help him to a small supply room, settling him against the wall as Maggie kneels down beside him, quickly assessing his ankle. You take a deep breath, your gaze scanning the room until it finds Daryl, his eyes wide and wild as they land on you. Relief flickers across his face, and he crosses the room in long, hurried strides.

You straighten, meeting his assessing gaze, giving him a faint nod. “I’m fine, no harm done,” you say, brushing off any worry. “The guy sprained his damn ankle.”

Daryl’s eyes narrow slightly, but he doesn’t respond, his hand moving up to cup your face, his thumb brushing along your cheek as he searches your eyes, checking for anything you might not be saying. His touch is warm, grounding, the silent connection between you calming the frayed edges of your nerves. You allow yourself a moment, letting his presence steady you, the unspoken words lingering between you.

Finally, Daryl drops his hand, his voice low but resolute. “I’m goin’ outside. Gonna keep a lookout, raise the flare for Rick.” His eyes linger on you a moment longer before he turns and heads back toward the door, his movements purposeful, every step echoing with the weight of his promise to protect you all.

You watch him go, feeling that unbreakable trust settle in your chest as you catch your breath, preparing for whatever might come next.

[sleepingdeath-light]

relationship hcs ; dark cacao cookie

requested by ; anonymous (25/07/22)

fandom(s) ; cookie run

fandom masterlist(s) ; hub | specific

character(s) ; dark cacao cookie

outline ; “Would you do relationship headcanons with Dark Cacao cookie, both fluff and angst.”

warning(s) ; mild angst, but mostly fluff!

dark cacao has been through a lot in his life, plenty of ups and endless downs that led to him becoming relatively isolated in his later years — closing off his kingdom to the world and entrusting its protection and care to those beneath him (namely caramel arrow, affogato, and crunchy chip) — so being able to form a close relationship with him would be incredibly difficult if you weren’t already close before the great flour war

he tends to call you ‘dear’, ‘my love’ and just your first name — with his preference changing from moment to moment based on your location, company, and his mood (with him being much more open and affectionate around his friends and more formal around his subjects and staff)

he’s fine with limited pda depending on the company he’s with at the time — always being comfortable with kissing you on the knuckles or placing a hand on the small of your back, but when with friends he expands his range to include kissing you on the lips and allowing you to sit on his lap

he’s incredibly protective over you and insists on keeping you within his kingdom as to keep you as safe as possible — and if you insist on venturing beyond the outer walls then he’ll either accompany you himself, or send his best guards with you (even if you’re more than capable of protecting yourself, he just fears losing you and refuses to take any chances with your safety)

whilst you are, of course, his beloved and his fellow ruling monarch, you’re also his equal and his most trusted advisor — he’ll often come to you to get a second opinion or otherwise discuss matters involving the kingdom because he values your input and suggestions greatly (and he’s become more suspicious of his main advisor in recent years…)

he doesn’t talk about his son much aside from the basics (a vague description of what happened and why you’ve never met him — and likely never will), but there are times where you’ll be able to piece together more of their story — like when you wake up to him having a nightmare and he cries out in a broken voice for his son, or when you’re walking through the kingdom and a small child carrying a toy sword rushes past and you’ll see his eyes soften as his grip on your arm grows gentle (he seems younger then, less burdened and more nostalgic, but it rarely lasts as he’s soon brought back to the present and swiftly regains his usual stoic demeanour)

he makes sure that you’re always well tended to by himself and his staff — whether that’s by having all of your clothes tailored to suit your body type and status as his spouse, ensuring your favourite foods and drinks are always available in the markets, or by making sure that all of your needs are met (be that specialised mobility aids, keeping healers on staff to deal with any chronic or short term ailments, or having all your immediate staff trained in alternate forms of communication if there are periods where you are nonverbal or if you’re hard of hearing)

he is much softer and more forgiving with you than anyone else and, naturally, that means you get away with a lot more than you should: braiding or playing with his hair, getting him to wear face masks with you, using ‘silly’ pet names for him, etc. — he’s not strictly playful himself but he will indulge your playful side when you’re alone

(even if he then suffers the endless teasing of hollyberry cookie and golden cheese cookie after the fact once they figure it out — as well as the amused support of pure vanilla cookie, but he tends not to react much to their antics after knowing each other for so long)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - May 12

functioning anon, powerless anon (new), galaxy anon, unofficial anon (new), fanart anon (new)

functioning anon

hey cas. it's functioning anon.

thanks for taking the time out of your day to answer, it meant a lot to me and i appreciate it.

here's the ask: life is hard. i don't want to die, but life is so hard. and i feel so many confusing emotions - i want to give up and not do anything ever, because why do i even exist? i shouldn't, really. but then two minutes later im smiling and having the best time of my life.

and realistically i know my life is probably way harder than the average person's, but i still can't forgive myself for not measuring up. each night i come back home exhausted and unable to move, and i sleep for like 5 to 6 hours before going to school and repeating. and i chose this life, i love it, but i want to give up every single fucking second of it. and im only in middle school. a few months later ill be in high school and the workload will be even greater.

i hate my body and i hate how i look (im fine being a cis girl, but i want to look more masculine) and i hate my personality and i hate that who i show i am to other people isn't who i really am. only a one or two of my friends and my family actually have seen the real me, and no one except myself truly understands or knows me, and it's so frustating.

and despite your advice last time helping me out a bit, i still feel like im just floating through life, like its not actually me, just a ghost pretending. it's so so hard to enjoy myself, i find myself smiling a lot less often. not fake ones, those i do all the time, but real smiles.

i just want to have a normal life. i don't understand - i love my family and my friends, they're awesome. no one bullies me or troubles me in any way. i should be happy, but i'm not.

im probably just faking it.

sorry for the super long ask, you don't have to answer, i just wanted to vent.

Hi <3

you're not faking it, and you're definitely not the first person to feel this way <3 But you also deserve to be happy with your life, and to enjoy the life you live. Do you have any adults in your life you trust to tell you're feeling like this? I'm not a professional or a doctor, but some of the things you're saying make me think of how I felt when I was around your age and I was diagnosed with depression. Asking for help when you feel this way can a lot of times make a HUGE difference, because you can find ways to work on these emotions, and feel better, you know? You deserve to feel better.

Sending love!

___

powerless anon

Hey cas

I accidentally got into a really bad rabbit hole where I just saw so much anti trans and anti abortion stuff online and it makes me so sick.

It just makes me lose so much faith in humanity to see that stuff.

I’m very comfortably cisfem so I can’t fully understand obviously, what it’s like to be trans but I can still do my best to make people feel comfortable because at the very least, everyone deserves respect.

I accidentally saw a bunch of very right wing yt shorts about abortion and trans rights and I checked the comments and scrolled a fair way down and I couldn’t find a single comment against it.

it just makes me feel so powerless because there isn’t much and I can do and I’m still in high school.

I just really needed to vent

Hi!

yeah, there are a lot of gross people in the world. But the good news is you aren't completely powerless. You CAN call people out. Of course, keep your safety in mind, but if someone at your school or in your community says something bigoted, you can tell them that they're wrong. Even if you don't change their mind, you can be a signal to someone listening that they're not alone. Especially when it comes to anti-trans speech, since you are a cis person, when you call that shit out, you're showing trans people that we have cis allies fighting for us, and that means a lot <3 Like I said, make sure you're safe about it, but you do have a voice, and that's super important <3

___

galaxy anon (tw- SI)

Hi hon <3

I'm going to be so honest with you right now. These exams feel like the biggest thing in the world. They feel like a mountain that's impossible to climb, and I get that. I have been there. I have failed exams, I have made shitty choices that changed my life in bad ways, and I have sat where you are and wondered why any of it is worth it.

And what I'm going to say is cliche but I need you to know it's true: It's been ten years since then, and all of that has been solved now.

You're talking about a VERY permanent solution to a temporary problem. Even if you fail every single exam you take, I PROMISE you, there's a way out of that. It might be difficult, but there IS a way. I believe in you, I love you, and there are other solutions.

So I need you to talk to someone. If you're not ready to tell them this is how you're feeling, that's okay. Of course, I'd love for you to tell them everything, but I get why that's scary. At least tell someone you're overwhelmed. Sit with someone. Breathe. I promise you it will be okay, and you deserve to get past this.

Remember on my pinned post, there's a link to some crisis hotlines. But I know you can get through this, I know you can talk to someone. I believe in you, and I believe YOU can believe in you, too.

Update me, okay?

___

unofficial anon

Hey cas

I think pakistan just declared an /unofficial/ war on us (india) and I'm scared. I'm down south so I most probably won't be affected. But the prospect of it just disturbs me immensely.

Why do these things occur cas? Why do people want to kill other people? I'm told it's a religious war too, is this what god wanted?

I'm so sorry, hon <3 I can't imagine how scary that is. I googled it and it sounds like there's now a ceasefire?

As far as the religious component...that's hard for me to comment on, because I'm not religious, and I don't understand that part of it, you know? I don't know the history or the feelings there. But I have to believe that war was invented by humans, not God. War is flawed, just like humans are.

___

fanart anon

sometimes i can't believe how hateful some people in this fandom are! i saw some fanart and i was reading the comments, right? some people were speculating whether it was jegulus or jily and someone in the comments just mentioned that they thought it was jegulus. another person responded about how it was jily and began to be very rude to the person and say things such as 'i hate jegulus and jegulus fans are so dumb' and i just couldn't believe it. why can't we just try to get along and respect others opinions? first and foremost, they are FICTIONAL characters😭

Hi!

Yeah, it's frustrating. I try not to get involved because I think those people are just looking for someone to be angry at- there's people like that who ship jegulus as well. Find the positive parts of fandom and stay there.