#trying out a new way to shade/highlight

[theimpurelily]

The soft little looks these two dorks gave each other in chapter 42 of SYONR by @grubus was just too sweet I HAD to draw it.

[miharuhebinata]

nuggeto

+ original sprite for comparison

[sirfrogsworth]

I think in this new age of A.I. the general public is going to need to increase their photography and lighting literacy. The response to this photo has just been a shit show.

There are people pointing out perfectly normal edge lighting and misunderstanding how reflections work.

First the plane is parked at an angle. The tail is farther back than the nose. But also that is a curved surface and it tapers. It's reflecting the area to the right of the photo.

And the bottom of the plane is reflecting what is directly underneath. Which is the tarmac, not the crowd.

It should also be noted that photo was shot with a very telephoto lens and everything is super compressed. The crowd appears much closer to the airplane than they actually are.

But then someone who should have good understanding of lighting said this...

And now I'm worried for her clients. Because that's very... wrong.

Well, wrong-ish.

First, let's try to understand why this photo is setting off some alarm bells.

The crowd toward the rear is in shadow, but they are still very well exposed. But then there is also a bright light source creating a strong edge light on them. Looking at this photo with just the context of what is in it, there are some things that seem uncanny.

The information we do not have is the people in the shadow area are inside a very brightly lit airplane hangar.

So they have artificial light blasting them from the top.

But that light is still much dimmer than the sunlit areas outside so they appear in shade. But we are used to shade being much darker than areas in direct sun. So the balance seems off in our brain. We expect the people to be darker because we don't have the context of the bright hangar lights above them.

But the other issue is that the photo was post processed. It wasn't manipulated. The pixels weren't changed. But the exposure balance was altered.

If I were to guess, the original photo looked more like this...

But newer digital cameras can have 13 to 15 stops of dynamic range. And if you shoot in RAW, you can easily lift shadows and bring down highlights. You can balance the exposure so the dark parts aren't as dark and the bright parts aren't as bright. This photographer might have overdone it a bit in this case, but this is a fairly standard edit used to bring balance to photos.

And lastly, where does the edge light come from?

Edge lighting or backlighting or rim lighting (all the same) should probably be called wrap-around lighting if you want to be more accurate.

It comes from a homogenous light source that is larger than the subject being lit. So with my knife photo, I placed it on a large LED panel light.

The light source was bigger than the subject so it wrapped around the edges.

And I'm afraid the airplane is not nearly large enough to create a light source to wrap around everyone in the crowd. It isn't even reflecting direct sunlight. So I'm sorry to say that lighting designer was mostly mistaken despite the confidence.

The light source is... everything.

That entire red area I highlighted is the light source.

As well as everything above and everything to the sides.

And the biggest aspect of that light source would be the sky above. I think people always forget the sky is a light source. If you are seeing blue, you are seeing light. And I guess the plane is included in that, but that entire highlighted red area is so bright, and so filled with sunlight bouncing around, that it creates basically a giant softbox. It becomes a huge single light source for the people in the hangar.

If you look at footage taken from way inside the hangar, you can see the camera adjusting exposure for the crowd inside, but look at what happens to the sunlit area outside.

What does that look like?

A giant softbox.

A single homogenous light source blasting light inside the hangar.

The sun is so incredibly bright that even when it is not directly lighting something, the light just bouncing around outside is enough to overpower the very bright hangar lights.

So, what have we learned from this?

Perhaps people should hire me to be their lighting designer.

Though I'm sure she is actually very talented. She seems to work with stage lights and this is more physics and photography.

Phystography.

[comicaurora]

hi, you seem to be drawing a lot. can you please tell me, will drawing ever become easy? or is it always a struggle?

(because for me, drawing seems like a neverending fight against artblock, and at this point, i start wondering if it's not really artblock, but instead it's just the reality of art making)

It's not so much that it becomes easy. It's more that you'll find new things about it that are hard.

Art will never become effortless because you will start finding new challenges to wrangle with, but the act of wrangling them is a good part of the fun. Finding new visual effects you struggle to capture or comprehend the shape of, let alone put down on paper. You might start off struggling to render shadows on a figure, and then as you progress you start wondering how to do shadows of foliage, or caustics of light projected through water, or how glowing eyes would cast shadows on a face, etc. New complexities reveal themselves as old struggles are mastered.

If you're struggling with something that feels like artblock, the problem might not be in your hands, but in your eyes. What to draw is at least as much of a challenge as how to draw it. If you notice your eyes snagging on small details or vistas and you catch yourself trying to work out how to capture that effect, that's your artist eyes at work, and the better you get, the weirder your artist eyes will make you.

There's an exercise my mom recommends that she got from her old teacher: three life drawings a day. Of anything - a chair, a glass of water, a tree, someone's dog, your own hand. I think this is less about honing your techniques and more about honing your eyes, training them to snag on everyday things and observe their complexities, the nuances, the way they really look, not just the way you think of them looking.

When you're a kid and you're drawing your first landscape, it's probably a house and a tree under a yellow sun in a blue sky. The tree looks like a lollipop, the house looks like a box with a hat, the sun is an egg yolk surrounded by lines, the sky is the bluest crayon you have. Maybe it has fluffy clouds in it if you were thinking ahead, cuz it's hard to draw white crayon or pencil over already blue drawings. This hypothetical drawing is a pure manifestation of art without artist's eyes; it is made entirely of what you understand things to look like, not how you see them. No real tree looks like a green lollipop. The sun is a blazing white ball that shades half of the dome of the sky in painfully bright white, and the sky is only blue in the loosest sense - even without clouds or sunsets confusing things, the sky will always fade to a lighter shade closer to the horizon. It is never uniform blue. Clouds usually look like shredded cottonballs around the edges, not fluffy rounded boubas.

This awareness extends to more complicated things. We know glass is clear. When we draw something made of glass, how can we capture that clarity? Do we just draw the outline, maybe some token specular highlights to show that it's catching the light? Or do we render the way it bends and distorts the image passing through it? We know gold is yellow and shiny; do we draw it as a yellow sparkly thing, or do we capture how it reflects the space around it? We know that water is blue and reflective. Do we draw it like we would draw a shiny blue car? Do we render a glass of water like a blue raspberry icee?

Actively perceiving the world as it is takes work and practice, but it's a vital component in all art - even completely fantastical art that is not at all drawn from life references. Skin has a particular luminosity to it, subcutaneous scattering of light that is inobvious if you just know that Skin Looks Like A Color. Even if you're painting a goblin or a mermaid or a centaur, capturing how the light hits their skin can make the difference between them looking like an action figure and looking like a living thing. If you're painting a landscape that isn't earth, it helps to have observed what earth's clouds and atmosphere really look like, how they catch and scatter the light. You have to know the rules in order to break the rules.

I can honestly say it never gets easy, but it does become a lot of fun, and if you're currently struggling to find the fun of it, it will get better the more you hone your eyes.

[kxsagi]

Bllk boys w a reader who's always changing hair color or/ and makeup?

“𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧”

a/n: i love sticking to routine so i admire when people go out of their comfort zones and experiment with makeup

ft. isagi yoichi, shidou ryusei, nagi seishiro, mikage reo, karasu tabito, itoshi sae, itoshi rin, kaiser michael

isagi yoichi

he’s trying to be cool, but lowkey stunned every single time. 

he thought he recognized you until he saw you with silver hair and neon green eyeliner and froze like “wait… who is this?” then you laughed and said “it’s me, silly.” he nodded slowly like he believed it. 

takes way too many pictures of you because he’s still trying to figure out which version of you he likes best. “this one? or the one with the smokey eye?” 

lowkey scared to compliment you because he’s afraid he’ll accidentally praise a past look and you’ll switch it up the next day out of spite. 

once spent an entire morning helping you pick the perfect lipstick shade. ended up with more lipstick on his face than yours. didn’t mind. 

when you went full goth one week and dyed your hair black, he was like a proud dad who’s just happy you’re happy. “you look cool. cool, scary, but cool.” 

shidou ryusei

he’s hype 24/7 and secretly jealous. 

“yo, that hair’s fire!” is his standard greeting now. no matter what color you show up with, he’s hyped and can’t stop staring. 

he lowkey wants to try switching up his look because you’re setting the bar too high. “bet i could pull off jet black too, right?” (you tell him please no but secretly you want to see it.) 

makeup tutorials? he watches them with you, but only to roast the dramatic ones. “why do people put that much highlighter on their face? they’re gonna blind somebody.” 

once convinced you to do matching streaks in your hair and was so proud he showed off to the whole team. he calls it “power couple dye.” 

every time you change your style, he’s the first to scream “that’s my girl!!!” like a proud hype man in the stands. 

nagi seishiro

he tries to be indifferent, but lowkey loves the attention. 

“did you do something with your hair?” he asks casually every time. the answer is always different, but he tries not to look too impressed. 

lowkey fascinated by how you can change your whole vibe with just makeup and hair. “it’s like you’re a different person every week.” 

he’ll offer you one makeup tip, which is basically “don’t get it in my eyes.” 

took a million selfies with you when you did that pastel goth look once. “don’t tell anyone i liked it. you looked like a video game character.” 

teases you about being a “professional chameleon,” but secretly thinks it’s the coolest thing ever. 

mikage reo

he’s elegant, but sometimes bewildered. 

“you’re like an artist.” he says it so seriously every time you show up with a new look, like you just painted a masterpiece. 

not totally sure what all the makeup jargon means, but he tries to learn because he wants to understand your craft. (bonus points if you teach him.) 

when you showed up with fiery red hair and bold eyeliner, he almost dropped his glass of wine. “wow. you’re on fire.” 

he’s a bit protective too. “don’t let anyone dull your colors.” 

once made a small donation to a high-end makeup brand because “it makes you happy.” he thinks that counts as a romantic gesture. 

karasu tabito

he’s amused and a little sarcastic. 

“so, what’s the color this week? purple? green? ‘don’t talk to me’ black?” he asks with mock seriousness. 

“you change your look more often than i change my socks.” (which is pretty often.) 

lowkey admires your confidence. “i wouldn’t have the guts. i’m too lazy.” 

you once dared him to wear lipstick for a day. he did it but immediately wiped it off when no one was looking. 

sometimes pretends not to notice, but he’s secretly memorized every shade you’ve worn and can name your favorite lipstick brand on demand. 

itoshi sae

he’s lowkey impressed, but acts like it’s no big deal. 

“you don’t do anything halfway, huh?” he says, deadpan, watching you change your hair color yet again. 

he appreciates how you own your look and never care what anyone thinks. it’s something he admires, even if he won’t say it outright. 

he’s not the most expressive about makeup, but he notices the little things, like the way you do your eyeliner on a day you’re feeling confident. 

once caught himself staring at you in disbelief because your hair color matched your eyeshadow perfectly. “that’s some next-level coordination.” 

if he ever sees you struggling with a tricky makeup look, he’ll silently get you a mirror or some wipes and then walk away before you can thank him. 

itoshi rin

his eyeliner is fear. yours is fierce. 

rin notices every single change you make. he just refuses to comment on it until you ask. then he hits you with a grumpy “… it looks good,” while blushing like he just confessed his entire soul. 

the first time you came home with icy blue hair and rhinestone liner, he stared for five straight minutes before muttering “you look like a final boss.” (that was actually a compliment.) 

pretends he doesn’t care when you ask “should i go copper next?” but he always votes subtly. “do whatever you want… but the pink was nice.” 

if you wear dramatic lashes and bold lips, he gets weirdly quiet and stares at you from across the room like he’s fighting demons. like sir? why do you look like you're losing a boss fight in your brain??? 

the day you gave him a full “e-boy eyeliner look” for fun, he groaned the whole time, but refused to wipe it off for hours. he even looked in the mirror more than once. 

he's used to living in black and grey, so dating you is like watching someone splash color into his grayscale world, and he’s annoyingly obsessed with every shade you bring. 

kaiser michael

he pretends to be unfazed, but you’re LIVING in his head rent-free with every look. 

“another hair color? what happened to the purple?” “got bored.” “you’re a menace. and it’s hot.” 

loves every single look you try, but especially the bold ones. full lashes, glitter shadow, hair that looks like you walked out of an anime? that’s his kryptonite. he’s down bad. 

literally calls you his “goddess of transformation” and demands a grand entrance every time you walk into the room with a new style. “music! lights! look at her!!” 

if anyone so much as blinks wrong at your look in public, he’ll throw hands. “jealousy is ugly, schatz. unlike your highlighter. which is blinding and perfect.” 

has no idea how makeup works, but he’ll fake confidence. “yeah, the… contour? it’s really…contouring.” 

once tried to dye his own hair to match yours as a joke. it turned out weirdly green and he had a spiral. you still tease him about it. 

when you do a romantic look – soft tones, glossy lips, light blush – he melts. like visibly short-circuits. “ugh. stop being so pretty. this is a threat to my ego.” 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[tsumuus]

neito monoma who never seems to shut up, also never knows what to say around you…

The support course at U.A. had its own rhythm, a unique hum of activity that was different from the hero courses. You were used to the clanking of tools and the buzz of machinery, but what you weren’t used to was running into a certain blond-haired boy every few days.

It all started during the sports festival. You’d been helping out with the equipment, ensuring everything ran smoothly behind the scenes. That’s when you first met Neito Monoma. He had been so intrigued by your work and your passion for support technology that he ended up lingering longer than necessary, asking questions that, at the time, seemed genuine.

Ever since that day, it seemed like Monoma kept showing up wherever you were. In the halls, near the cafeteria, even in the support course workshop when he was supposedly just passing by.

It happened again today. You were working on calibrating a gadget when Monoma suddenly appeared at the door, looking awkwardly out of place.

“Uh, hey, yn,” he stammered, shuffling his feet. “I was just… um, just checking out how things are going.”

You raised an eyebrow, a little amused. “You don’t need to check up on me. I’m fine.”

Monoma’s face turned a bright shade of red. “Oh, right. I mean, not that I was, you know, checking up on you. Just curious about the, uh, stuff you’re working on.”

Kendo and Hatsume, who were chatting nearby, looked over with interest. Monoma’s eyes darted to them, then back to you, as if suddenly realizing he was being watched.

“Right, uh, so this is the new prototype?” he asked, leaning in a bit too close and almost bumping into your elbow. “Cool. Really, really cool.”

You chuckled, trying not to find his nervousness endearing. “Yeah, it’s a pretty neat piece of tech. Want to take a closer look?”

“Uh, sure!” Monoma said, moving to stand next to you, but his hand accidentally brushed against yours. He jerked his hand back, mumbling, “Sorry, didn’t mean to—”

Kendo and Hatsume exchanged glances, clearly entertained by Monoma’s discomfort. You tried to keep the conversation going despite his awkwardness.

“So, have you, um, had any interesting encounters with support equipment recently?” you asked, trying to steer him into more familiar territory.

Monoma’s face reddened further. “Encounters? Oh, well, I mean, I, uh, did see some interesting stuff in the hero course, but nothing as… impressive as this.”

The more he spoke, the more tangled his words became. His usual confident demeanor was nowhere to be seen. It was clear that he was trying—and failing—to play it cool.

“Well, if you ever want to discuss support tech or need any help, feel free to ask,” you said with a smile. “I’m always around.”

Monoma’s eyes widened with surprise and relief. “Really? I mean, yeah, sure! That’d be, um, great. I’ll, uh, see you around.”

You nodded, watching as he left the workshop, his steps a little faster than usual. You couldn’t help but wonder why he always seemed so flustered around you. Maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way you did.

As Monoma walked away, he couldn’t help but smile to himself. Running into you was always the highlight of his day, even if he never quite knew what to say. But he’d keep trying.

masterlist

a/n so ooc but idrc lol

[lemon-lime-behavior]

i love ur expressions so much!!!!! Is it alr if I ask for u to share ur drawing process, if u don’t mind!! If you’d rather not that’s fine too :333

I can try!

now this does assume I have a consistent drawing process which I don’t, but ill share what I do most often?

So first of course I have an idea

Then I do some sketchies to figure out what exactly I want the pose to be. I dont always do this except when the pose is tricky and/or im just not being lazy that day

Then I go through my sketching and refining process:

I usually do two or three passes and I try and flip it at least once throughout, to help make sure everything’s balancing. For the final lines I’ll usually make them a medium red that I then set to multiply, but if I plan on coloring the lines later i dont do that and just make them black. This is also the stage when I’m scrabbling about for reference images, here are some of the ones I used here:

I usually hunt down references after I do my initial rough sketch, so I already know what im looking for angle and shape-wise in the references. Now for coloring ill fill in the whole area I’m gonna color with a gray then start putting down flats on clipping mask layers (so they dont go outside the lines)

then for quick and dirty shading and highlights I’ll duplicate the flats, flatten them into one layer, then make them darker and bluer and generally futz with it untill ive got a good shadowed color profile down. I’ll repeat the process but making it all lighter for the highlights. Then ill take both those layers, make them masks, and start painting on the shadows and highlights over the original flats.

then the very final step is the Fussing Stage where I make a new layer or two over everything and start fixing mistakes, adding new colors, adding rim lights, messing with levels, color correcting, adding details like flowers, etc. etc.

this can take a very long time or no time at all, depending on how much effort I wanna put in.

Then I slap a background on it which is usually a solid color or a gradient because im a hack and have no idea what i’m doing and ta-daaaaaa, something kinda okay!

And that is one of the many ways I “fake it ‘till you make it” my way through art!

[astrocafecoffee]

How to groom yourself based on your rising sign …?? 💫

✨ FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, ENJOY ✨

~~~~~~~~~~~~~💖💖~~~~~~~~~~~~~

💖 MASTERLIST

💖 HERA PERSONA CHART

💖 BORN PERSONA CHART

💖 CAREER OF YOUR FS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~💖💖~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note : inspired by ANITA SIRENE YouTube post. I included some of her points here. Rest is mine.

Aries ascendant ❣️

Hello Aries rising babies.. let's go !

Hair: Go bold or go home! Try a fiery red hair color (even if it's just a temporary pop of color) and style those locks with some serious attitude. Think choppy layers or a sleek, angular bob that frames that gorgeous face of yours.

Face: Emphasize that natural glow with a lightweight foundation and a subtle highlighter on your cheekbones, nose, and cupid's bow. Make those eyes pop with bold eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara. And don't forget to groom those brows - angular and framed is the way to go!

Makeup: Lip color? Go bold red or coral! Blush? Subtle peachy or pink shade. You got this!

Style: Edgy, statement pieces are your jam! Think leather jackets, bold patterned shirts, or distressed denim. And don't forget to add a bold, eye-catching accessory like a chunky necklace or statement watch. Basically masculine style will fit you best. Try red, yellow or orange dresses with minimal patterns.

Taurus ascendant ❣️

Hello! Taurus rising babies 💗

Hair: You guys are all about looking polished and put-together, so go for a sleek blowout or a fancy updo. And don't be afraid to add some subtle layers to frame that gorgeous face of yours! Earthy tones are your jam, so think chestnut, caramel, or honey - they'll complement your Taurus vibe perfectly.

Face:You guys are all about that natural glow, so keep your skincare routine on point and use a foundation that enhances your complexion without looking too done-up. eyeshadow - earthy shades like terracotta, sienna, or moss will make your eyes pop! Eyeliner? Keep it subtle, soft, and brown. Mascara? Go for a lengthening formula that makes your lashes look like a million bucks! And brows? Groomed and full, please!

Makeup : Now, let's talk makeup... Lip color? Go bold with a rich shade like plum, burgundy, or a deep berry color. Blush? Soft peach or dusty rose, all the way!

Style: Style-wise, you guys are all about luxury and sophistication.Try cowboy/cowgirl theme aesthetic. Invest in quality pieces that'll last a lifetime, like cashmere sweaters, tailored trousers, or a classic leather jacket. And don't forget to add a statement piece of jewelry, like a bold cocktail ring or a quality watch.

Gemini ascendant ❣️

Hey, Gemini Rising!

Let's start with your hair.

Hair:You guys are all about looking fresh and fabulous, so go for a style that's playful and versatile. Think choppy layers, subtle highlights, or a bold new color to match your adventurous vibe! And don't forget to add some texture with a styling cream or pomade - you want to look like you just rolled out of bed and still managed to look fabulous!

Face : You guys are all about expressing yourself, so don't be afraid to try new looks and take risks! Keep your skincare routine on point and use a foundation that matches your skin tone.,,eyeshadow - bold, bright shades like blue, green, or yellow will make your eyes pop! Eyeliner-Go for a subtle cat eye or a bold graphic look. Mascara? Make those lashes pop with a volumizing formula!

Makeup: makeup wise, Lip color? Go bold with a bright shade like coral, pink, or orange. Blush? Soft peach or dusty rose, all the way!

Style: you guys are all about mixing and matching. Try academia looks, it will look good on you. Pair bold prints with neutral basics, or try a statement piece like a bright scarf or a fun hat.

Cancer ascendant ❣️

Hey Cancer Rising! let's go babies.

Hair : You guys are all about easy, breezy styles that look like you just rolled out of bed (in a good way, obvi). Think soft layers, relaxed updos, or a nourishing hair mask to keep your locks looking luscious.

Face : You're all about glowing from within, so keep your skincare routine gentle and nourishing. Use a foundation that complements your skin tone, and don't be afraid to add a soft, shimmery eyeshadow to make your eyes sparkle. Think light brown, pink, or peach - soft and pretty!

Makeup : Makeup-wise, go for soft, inviting lip colors like rose, peach, or pale coral. And don't forget to add a soft pink or dusty rose blush to give your cheeks a healthy, rosy glow.

Style: you guys are all about comfort and elegance. Think soft basics, cozy cardigans, and flowy dresses that make you feel like a queen. And tbh don't ever try the dark feminine aesthetic, I think it will not suit you the best.

Leo ascendant ❣️

Hey there, Leo Rising babies! Leshh go!

Hair: You guys are all about making a statement, right? Go for a bold, fierce style that's full of volume and texture. Think subtle layers or a sleek updo that shows off that radiant smile of yours!

Face : You guys are all about glowing up, and I am HERE. FOR. IT! Focus on enhancing your natural beauty with a fierce skincare routine and a foundation that matches your skin tone. And don't be afraid to add some drama with bold, shimmery eyeshadow in shades like gold, bronze, or copper.

Make up : Makeup-wise, you guys are all about making a statement! Go bold with a bright lip color like red, coral, or orange. And add some soft peach or dusty rose blush for a radiant glow that's totally on point.

Style: you guys are all about making an entrance! Pair bold basics with statement accessories and shoes that make you feel like a queen. And don't forget to add some drama with a statement piece like a bold scarf or a fun hat.

Virgo ascendant ❣️

Hello Virgo rising babies! Let's dive in ..

Hair: Go for sleek and polished styles that show off your attention to detail. Try smooth blowouts, precise cuts, and a hint of subtle layers.

Face: Take care of your skin with a consistent skincare routine and find a foundation that matches your skin tone. Add a touch of eyeshadow to enhance your natural beauty. Also pay attention to details like waxing your brows, trimming your nails. Take care of your skin by getting enough sleep and staying hydrated.

Makeup: Keep it natural and effortless with light foundation, defined brows, and a swipe of mascara. You want to look like yourself, just a little bit enhanced! Don't try dark themes that's all.

Style: Pair classic pieces with statement accessories and shoes that add a touch of sophistication. Mix and match textures and patterns to keep things interesting.Try light feminine looks. Experiment with different styles until you find what works best for you.

Libra ascendant ❣️

Hi,Libra Rising babies.lets see ,

Hair:Go for styles that are balanced and harmonious, like effortless waves or subtle layers.Avoid extreme lengths or volumes.Try a relaxed, natural look that frames your face and complements your features.

Face: enhance your natural beauty with a consistent skin care routine that includes exfoliating, moisturizing and protecting your skin.Find a foundation that maches your skin tone,provides light to medium coverage.Add a touch of elegance with subtle eyeshadow , defined brows and a swipe of mascara.

Makeup:Keep it classy and sophisticated with light to medium coverage foundation, subtle blush, and defined lashes.Avoid bold or bright colors.Try a soft, natural lip color that complements your skin tone.

Style: Pair classic pieces with stylish accessories and shoes that add a touch of glamour. Mix and match textures and patterns to create a look that's both elegant and eclectic. Avoid over-accessorizing , you want to look polished, not cluttered.

Scorpio ascendant ❣️

Hi, Scorpio Rising peoples.

Let's talk about your hair first.

Hair:Go for styles that are edgy and intense, like bold cuts or dark colors. Emphasize your eyes with fringe (or bangs) that create a mysterious vibe. Try a sleek, low ponytail or a messy, undone look. I know you want to look more mysterious 🙂.

Face:Try some skin care obv.You are all about dark aesthetic.Add depth to your eyes with bold eyeshadow, black eyeliner, and voluminous lashes.

Makeup:Keep it dramatic and intense with bold lip colors.Emphasize your features with contouring and highlighting.( Maddy from euphoria, look at her aesthetic)

Style:Pair dark, bold pieces with statement accessories and shoes that add an edgy touch.Mix and match textures and patterns to create a look that's both intense and intriguing. Try vampire aesthetic.

Sagittarius ascendent ❣️

Hellooo, Sagittarius Ascendant!

Hair:Try a longer, layered cut that frames your face and adds movement to your locks.Emphasize your natural texture with a sea salt spray or texturizing cream.Avoid too much heat styling - you want to look effortless, not overdone.

Face:Exfoliate regularly to keep your skin looking bright and radiant.Use a lightweight foundation that matches your skin tone and provides sheer coverage.Define your brows with a brow gel or pomade for a polished look.

Makeup:Add a pop of color to your look with a bold blush or eyeshadow shade.Try a metallic or shimmer finish to give your eyes a celestial sparkle.Keep your lips soft and hydrated with a nourishing lip balm. also yeah, witchy look will fit good on you.

Style:Pair comfortable, flowy pieces with statement accessories that add a touch of adventure to your look.Mix and match patterns and textures to create a look that's both eclectic and sophisticated. As, Sagittarius relates with teacher theme, so try academia/ teacher aesthetic.

Capricorn ascendant ❣️

Huii, huiii Capricorn Rising! Let's see,

Hair:Try a side part and a sleek, low ponytail to showcase your disciplined style.Use a hair straightener or flat iron to add a touch of sophistication to your look.Avoid too much volume or texture - you want to look polished, not puffy.

Face:Emphasize your natural features with a highlighter or illuminator. Define your eyes with a precise brow shape and a swipe of mascara. Keep your skin looking smooth and refined with a consistent skincare routine.

Makeup:Go for a natural, effortless look with light to medium coverage foundation.Add a touch of warmth with a subtle bronzer or blush. Define your lips with a precise lip liner and gloss.

Style:Mix and match textures and patterns to create a look that's both sophisticated and interesting.Pay attention to details, Try elegant accessories, make sure your clothes are pressed, your shoes are polished, and your accessories are tasteful. Try vintage style aesthetic.

Aquarius ascendant ❣️

Hoii, Aquarius Ascendant! Let's see,

Hair: Add some rebellious volume with a texturizing spray.Emphasize your eyes with a bold, swooping fringe.Try a bold, bright hair color to match your vibrant personality.

Face:Highlight your best features with a radiant highlighter.Define your brows with a bold, angular shape.Add a pop of color with a vibrant lip shade. Indeed, the weirder the better 😂

Makeup:Go for a bold, graphic look with black eyeliner and bright eyeshadow. Add some drama with false lashes or individual lashes.Try a bold, bright lip color to make a statement.

Style:Pair bold, statement pieces with comfortable, laid-back essentials.Mix and match patterns and textures to create a look that's both quirky and chic.Don't be afraid to take risks and try new things. Nerdy aesthetic, alien type aesthetic will suit you.

Pisces ascendant ❣️

Hola,Pisces Rising!

Hair:Add some ethereal waves with a curling iron or wand.Emphasize your dreamy eyes with a soft, wispy fringe.Try a pastel hair color to match your soft, romantic vibe.

Face:Highlight your best features with a subtle, shimmering highlighter. Define your brows with a soft, natural shape.Add a touch of magic with a shimmery eyeshadow or lip gloss.

Makeup:Go for a soft, romantic look with light, natural shades. Ethereal look like , try mythical aesthetic or look at cosplayers. That type of make-up will suit you the best.

Style:Pair flowy, feminine pieces with comfortable, laid-back essentials. Mix and match soft textures and pastel colors to create a look that's both dreamy and chic.Don't be afraid to add some quirky, bohemian touches.

Thanks for reading ✨

-PIKO 💖

[lieslab]

I'd fall to pieces on the floor, if you weren't around

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Changbin X gn reader

Summary: You struggle with weight gain after taking a new medication.

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 2.2K

Eating disorder resources

Trigger warning: Weight gain, self-image issues, and brief mention of skipping meals.

A/N: I'm glad I could finally push this request out. Requestee, I hope this helps. Changbin would not want anyone to skip their meals or think they're ugly. Our bodies are so important and do everything they can to keep us alive. That is so special and this fic really highlights that. Please take care of yourselves <3

_ _ _

It turns out there is a hell on earth. It’s the bright fluorescent lights of the dressing room. A long rectangular mirror that leaves no flaw untouched. You tried to avoid meeting your own gaze. Once again, you reached down and attempted to button the waist of your pants, but to no avail. 

You gritted your teeth, sucked in your stomach, and pulled at the waistband once more. Why weren’t more jeans fitted with elastic waists? Why did the sizing always feel wrong? Most importantly, this was your size, so why wasn’t it fitting? 

You weren’t overly enthused about going clothes shopping, but when it came to jeans, you knew you had to bite the bullet. You risked a lot buying them online, so you decided to check out the nearest department store. You made sure they had the brand you liked before you came and now you were here. 

Just outside the dressing room, Changbin leaned against a white wall. He didn’t know how long you planned on taking. In the meantime, he texted Han about a new movie he thought he’d be interested in seeing. Unaware of your distress, he texted as if nothing was wrong. 

“Stupid fucking jeans,” you mumbled to yourself. You grabbed the sides, jerking them back down your body. You squirmed, nearly tripped, but then they were off. 

You folded them, just like how they were folded when you picked them up, tossed them on the nearby bench, and stared at the other pairs you grabbed. You grabbed three different shades of colors. A light-wash, regular denim blue jeans, and a pair in black. If you couldn’t wear the size you grabbed, those wouldn’t fit, either. 

You stared at the unworn pile, trying to swallow the forming lump in your throat. If you couldn’t wear the brand of jeans you always wore, it only meant one thing; you gained weight. 

You feared it, you always had, but there was no more denying it. When your jeans didn’t fit properly back home, you blamed it on the dryer. You assume you must have pressed the wrong setting, causing the denim to shrink somehow. You should have known, but you wanted to deny it. 

Bodies are everything in this day and age. From the way you look, to the facial features you don’t get to pick, they make, or break you. You thought you were doing okay. When the doctor prescribed a new medication and weight gain was a side effect, you shrugged it off, assuming it wouldn’t happen to you.  

The four square walls felt a little tighter. Anxiety brewed in your gut and you blinked rapidly. A wave of warmth overcame you, but you ignored it. You grabbed your sweatpants and quickly slipped back into them. Wiping at your eyes, you sucked in a deep breath. 

A shirt still awaited you. You grabbed it because you liked the way it looked. Determined not to look at your reflection, you jerked your shirt over your head, and wiggled into the new one. Something was off instantly. It didn’t cover your stomach fully. You sucked in your stomach, but even then, it didn’t fit. 

Your teeth clamped into your bottom lip. Your eyes squeezed shut and you sucked in a deep breath. Part of your brain tried to say it was okay, but the other part screamed at you. You were pathetic. Ugly. Gross. 

Fat. 

You ripped the shirt off, as if it was on fire. It hit the side of the wall and slumped down inside out on the jeans you folded. Your arms crossed over your body and your head ducked down. Nobody could see you, your boyfriend waited for you outside, but you felt so alone. 

Insecurity always hung around and today it clamped onto your heart. Your worth shattered on the ceramic floor. The burn of hot tears came so fast, but you refused to let them fall. Instead, you reached up and pressed your fingers against your eyes, trying to stop them. 

“Stop it,” you weakly whispered. “You’re fine. Just be normal. It’s not a big deal.” You pulled your hands away and fanned your face. Rapid blinks helped the forming tears dissolve. 

It took you a few moments to collect yourself. You jerked back to the mirror to check your eyes and that’s when you caught the stretch of your skin. Bright marks pulled your attention to them. You knew you were gaining stretch marks, but you had no idea it was this bad. You were hideous and you hated who you turned into.

You briefly made eye contact with yourself, enough to make sure your tears were gone, and then you steered yourself back to the bench. In your shirt, you felt so much more comfortable. You refolded the shirt, grabbed the jeans, and headed outside. 

At the sound of an opening door, Changbin pushed off the wall and grinned. “You’re back!” 

You nodded and forced yourself to smile. “Yeah, I’m back. I’m sorry I took so long.” 

“No worries, I’m texting Han. Did it go alright? Did they fit?” 

It was a harmless question, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to tell the truth. You nodded and reached out for his hand. “Yeah, let’s check out and head home.” 

“Already?” 

“Yeah, shopping makes me feel really tired. The lights are so bright and there’s so many people. I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to be. I mean, unless you have somewhere you want to go?” 

“Nah, I don’t think so.” His fingers curled around yours and he led you towards the cash registers. “Let’s head back home and find something to do there. I feel like a home day might be good for us. We’ve both been so busy lately.” 

He looked at you like you made the stars, but you didn’t notice. Too stuck in your head, you didn’t realize just how much he loved you. You walked to the counter and paid for the clothes, pretending that they really did fit. They would fit and you’d make them. 

Even if you had to skip a few meals, you’d get back to your size no matter what. 

~ ~ ~ 

Back at home, you took your bag of new clothes through the house and into your shared bedroom. Changbin giddily followed you, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. As you pulled open the bag to put them in the dresser, he snuck into the room and shut the door. You glanced over your shoulder when the door clicked. 

“Okay, I’m ready!” He jumped forward, springing onto the bed on his stomach. 

“For what?” 

“Your fashion show! Duh! What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t hype you up?” 

You froze and your face fell. You quickly jerked your head back to the dresser, but it was too late. He already saw the panic in your eyes. He pushed himself up, worried that something was wrong. “Hey, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I-I just-” Your brain went into overdrive. “I’m just not feeling very fashionable today. I just tried them on back at the store and I don’t think I’m feeling jeans much anymore. I had the epiphany while I was trying them on.” 

He groaned and jerked himself onto his back. “But I was looking forward to the fashion show! I waited all that time and held up the dressing room wall for you.” 

“You know what I look like in jeans.” 

“But these are new jeans!” 

“I’m getting a headache.” 

He huffed and grumbled to himself. Like a toddler, he kicked his feet. “I can’t believe that-” 

A wave of anger swept through you. Usually, his antics didn’t bother you, but you were already so upset about the way your body looked. Disgusted and humiliated. Your words tumbled out so fast and you couldn’t stop them.

“I can’t try on the jeans for you because they don’t fit, Changbin! There! That’s why! Are you happy now? I don’t want to show you because they don’t button. I’ve gained weight, I’m fat, and ugly, and gross.” 

His head snapped over to you and his face fell. “They don’t fit?” 

You kept your back to him. You weakly shook your head and shut your eyes. “No.” 

“Baby, you didn’t have to buy them if they didn’t fit. We could have sized up and it wouldn’t have been a problem.” 

“Did you not hear the part where I said I’m fat and ugly?” You weakly laughed, trying not to cry, but your laugh cut out. A bottom lip trembled and you wiped at your eyes. 

Changbin quietly got up and snuck behind you. Strong warm arms wrapped around your waist. “You’re not fat and ugly.”

“I gained weight from my medicine.” 

“That’s okay.” 

“No, it’s n-not. What if you realize I’m ugly now? What if I try the next size and they don’t fit either?” 

His arms gently squeezed around your torso. “Take a deep breath, you’re spiraling.” 

“I have new stretch marks a-and I-” Your eyes squeezed shut, but it wasn’t enough to stop the salty tears from poking through. “I feel so ugly.” 

“I know you might feel ugly, but you’re not ugly. It’s okay to gain weight and it’s okay to lose weight.” His head gently fell against your shoulder. “What’s not okay is to call the love of my life ugly. You’re not ugly now and nothing will ever make you ugly in my eyes.” 

“But the stretch marks…” 

“What about them?” 

“They’re gross.” 

“Why? What makes them gross? Because the way I see them, your skin is stretching to protect you. It’s keeping you safe. You think I don’t have stretch marks?” 

“Huh?” 

He pulled away from you, reached up, and tugged the sleeve of his t-shirt all the way up. It took a few moments, but he finally found what he was looking for. “This right here,” he pointed to a faint mark. “This is one of my stretch marks. They formed after I started to gain muscle.” 

“But you're not fat,” you whispered. You spun around, so you could see. 

“You don’t have to be fat to have stretch marks. They form when you grow and you might think they’re ugly, but I don’t. My skin is stretching to accommodate me. That’s not ugly, there’s beauty in that.” 

Your eyes lingered on it and you sniffled again. He continued speaking. “There is nothing disgusting and evil about stretch marks. So many people have them. You shouldn’t hate yourself just because you have them.” 

“I don’t know how not to.” 

“You hate your body right now because people have told you that you should. I’m here to tell you that you should listen to me because I love you.” He let go of his sleeve and it fell. 

His hands reached up and gently cupped your cheeks. “The human body is amazing and wants to keep your organs safe. The skin is stretching to keep you safe. No matter how bright they might be right now, they’ll fade.”

“If you’re worried about gaining weight, you’ve kinda lucked out.” A soft smile quipped up on half his face. “You’ve got me and I’ll help you with it, if that’s what you wish.” 

“Are you going to make me drink your chicken breast protein shakes?” 

He laughed and shook his head. Black hair bobbed and your distress started to melt. “No. I won’t make you drink them, but if you ever want to try one, I-” 

“No thank you.” 

“That’s okay. You don’t have to do whatever you don’t want to do.” 

You nodded and your eyes met his. “Thank you for making me feel better.” 

“It’s an honor, a privilege, and always a delight. Do you know what you do to my heart? Ugh, I love you! You’re worried about being fat? Watch this!” 

“What are you– hey!” You shrieked as he dipped down and jerked you over his shoulder. You dangled with your hands towards the ground. “Where are we going?” 

“Out to have lunch because you’re not skipping your meals and I can hear your stomach growling. Hang on tight, spider-monkey.” 

“Did you just quote Edward Cullen?” 

He laughed, causing your body to vibrate. You rolled your eyes and dangled with defeat. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?” 

“Let’s see if I glitter in the sunlight. If I’m a vampire, I’m turning you. I’m not being an immortal without you. Wait!” He paused and he raised an eyebrow. “If I was a vampire, does that mean Chan would be my enemy since he-” 

“Don’t start with the Chan is a wolf conspiracy.” 

“But he picked his pack and everything!” 

“No.” 

“It’s canon!” 

“Changbin!” 

“I need to call Han and get his opinion.” 

There was absolutely nothing you could do as you hung over his shoulder, besides sigh and hope he put you down sooner, much rather than later.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lia-linny @seungnishi @stellasays45 @emilyywhyy @rockstarkkami @flightlessackerman @inlovewithstraykids @velvetmoonlght @chrizrizz @ari-hwanggg @m-325 @justcallmewhatyoulike @bokkiesluv @phinnyphinnegan

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Make it Better

Summary: You wanted to be better for him, but maybe better wasn't what he wanted.

Word Count: 1.6K

Notes: Argghhh I had a chance to cook, and chat, I fear I fumbled. Through two rounds of drafting too,. Ah well, I solemnly swear to do more Dick content regardless. 😤

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You smoothed down your clothes, staring at your reflection in the mirror. Your forehead was creased lightly in worry, fingers playing with your hair as you tried to get it to sit right. No matter what you did, nothing seemed to look the way you wanted. You didn't like the jewellery you wore, or the way you had done your hair. Your clothes seem wrinkled in the light no matter how many times you undressed to steam them, and the vibrant blue you wore seemed to be wearing you instead. You sigh, head coming to thump against the mirror.

You swear you had tried to do better than this.

It was always the same pit of nervousness that came off of going to one of the Wayne Family Gala's, so deep and endless in your stomach it felt like the rest of you would just fall through. Not only that, but you were also on the arm of one of the heirs of Gotham, one of the princes whose face was on every magazine cover and every second teenager’s bedroom wall.

Dealing with cameras that flashed nonstop, light so blinding you thought it had been daylight the first time you experienced it. A red carpet walk that felt like a vulture's strip, your name being screamed at by faceless reporters, microphones and cameras waving over the red rope stanchions to try and pry your comment from you. It was all so overwhelming, the sounds and lights. You surely would have collapsed the first time, if it hadn't been the comforting weight that slipped around your waist, and the dazzling smile that took the heat off you.

Dick's hand always knew how to keep you grounded during those events, tracing small shapes into your waist and turning you so he could take the brunt of the cameras. Waving to every news reporter and journalist frothing at the mouth for his statement, always offering some upbeat support for whatever the cause was, while they wrote it like the word of God. The same hand that would guide you through the doors of the venue and out of reach of the squabble outside, looking down at you with the boyish blue eyes you adored and white grin stretched across his face.

"You okay?" he'd ask softly, and you always nodded. The tension in your body melted away when his eyes searched yours so earnestly, trying to pick apart if you were lying. His own worry always seemed to dwarf your own, making you smile as you reassured him that you were fine.

You wanted to get better this time.

So, when you arrived for the Christmas Ball held by the Mayor in the Park, you had already prepped yourself. Dick had come to collect you in his car, smile bright and dazzling when he saw you. It was like he saw past all the flaws you could highlight in your outfit, not caring that the shade of blue you were wearing didn't match his tie exactly, and that despite all your efforts your hair refused to co-operate. He made no comment on your jewellery despite how you felt that the silver you picked didn't match with the rest of what you were wearing, or that it clashed with the gold on your shoes. He just opened the car door for you, kissing your cheek as his hand came to the middle of your back where it belonged.

"You look amazing." he hummed; eyes bright as he shut your door for you. You smiled weakly back in response, tension easing slightly. he could tell your anxiety hadn't gone down, evident in the way his thumb drew circles on your thigh, one hand resting there while the other gripped the wheel. Your hands felt cold despite the car's heater going full blast, and your cheeks were numb. The pit in your stomach threatened to swallow you whole again, adrenaline running through your body like you were fighting for your life. It made your throat close up, worsening as the car rolled to a stop.

"You going to be okay?" he asks softly, hand coming to gently cup your face. You nod, although your smile was tense.

You could do better. This night was going to be fine.

"Yeah. I'm ready." you reply back, the clamouring of reporters and the frantic clicking of shutters were dulled while you were in the car, but you knew it would turn into a roar the second the seal of the door cracked. "We'll make the entry quick; I promise." he smiles, hurrying out from the driver’s seat to come to your door, the paparazzi outside growing ten times louder now that a prince of Gotham has shown his face.

Like the true gentleman he is, he offered his hand to help you climb out from the passenger’s side, broad shoulders blocking most of the flashes aimed your way. You tilt your head up, and your breath is stolen for a moment.

"Good?" he mouths to you, and you wordlessly nod. Illuminated by the flashes of the cameras behind him he looked heaven sent, a bright halo ghosting over the contours of his face and the dip of his cupid's bow. You nod, and he brings you out in front of the crowd. The flashes blind you as usual, but you do your best to send a few smiles their way, waving at a couple of reporters that make you pose together for photos. A perfect couple, that's what you tried to be. Tried to be someone worth standing next to the human turned angel next to you.

You hold yourself together, feeling more and more confident as you walk your way down the carpet, until you’re out of sight. You turn to him now hidden behind the privacy of the event doors, beaming up at him. He reciprocates his smile, hands settling onto your hips as he pulls you close for only a moment. "Getting the hang of it I see," he teases, "I told you; you were made for the spotlight."

He chuckles at the light flush that envelops your features, arm looped with yours as he guides you into the ballroom.

That one comment makes you feel on top of the world, inspiring you to come out of your shell and mingle with everyone, glass in your hand. You felt seen, branching off for conversations and even getting along well with some of his brothers as they arrive. The anxiety smooths out from your forehead, shoulders relaxing and smiles coming more easily.

That was until you saw her.  More accurately, until you saw him looking at her.

Barbara entered the ballroom, clad in a beautiful, deep purple dress and her gorgeous orange hair falling down her back. Your shoulders raised again, fingers tightening on the glass flute uncomfortably.

She was gorgeous, of course. You told her any time you saw her around, since she was still invited to the family dinners every couple of months. Tense smiles swapped between you both, with conversation just polite enough to cover any awkwardness. Were you apprehensive when you started dating Dick and he told you that they were still friends? of course you were. Was it a worry when they had “work” discussions you weren’t allowed to be in? You had cried over some of those nights.  But his smile was charming, and he treated you like you were his earth.

Well, if you were his earth, he was looking at her like she was his sun.

You swear you could see galaxies in the deep blue of his eyes, stars in the smile that fell across his face when she waved at him. Even when she disappeared into the sea of rich Gothamites, his eyes sought her out like an asteroid in orbit. Everything felt like it was collapsing around you, spotlight of confidence cut off and leaving a cool chill across your skin.

Your clothes felt itchy and off colour again, jewellery felt cheap. Your shoes didn't fit right, and your hair looked unflattering in the window reflections. Like Cinderella your clock had struck midnight, except you hadn't even gotten to dance yet. Your stomach rolled, butterflies from before attaching to your sides and cocooning again, going still. Your heart felt heavy, sitting low in your throat and preventing you from calling his name. He looked so spellbound, so full of longing in the way that his lip’s part softly in a sigh.

When he blinks it's like he comes out of a trance and he takes a moment to collect himself again, hand coming to rest once more on your waist. He looks down at you, and you take in his features again. The starlight in his eyes has dulled, his smile still soft but nowhere near as radiant. You had no idea if he realised what he had done, if he was aware of the way he radiated sunlight simply from looking at her. "Let's go get something to eat, dinner will be served soon." he grins, leading you along after your tight-lipped smile and nod. He grinned at the high class he passed, politely navigating them with you at his side completely unknowing that they'd all witnessed his visible adoration. Oblivious himself to the fact that his heart was still in love with the commissioner’s daughter, despite having you by his side.

You wanted to it to all get better, and for a moment it had.

However, as he pulled out your chair for you and you made eye contact with the gorgeous, green eyed woman across from you, the reality sank in that no matter how much you wanted to do better, you would never be able to do better than the memory of her.

[crazy-pages]

I'm going to throw my two cents in to the conversation about why James Somerton didn't get caught earlier. Part of the answer is of course that he did get caught, he just bullied and lied to get away with it for a while, but I know a lot of people still express confusion. And of course he went out of his way to make sure his audience didn't know about other queer history sources other than himself. But still. How could he have so many viewers of his videos and none of them had seen X source material?

Well. To be blunt, most of his videos were pretty basic. He tended to copy the highlights of what he was plagiarizing, not the really advanced stuff. And insofar as he copied the advanced stuff, he had a tendency to chop it up and serve it out of context alongside other plagiarized work. The material he was presenting was revolutionary to an audience unfamiliar with queer history, but like. I'm guessing 'Disney villains are queer coded' is not exactly a new concept to the kind of people who read multiple books about queer coding in film.

Now I'm not a film studies person, I'm a physicist. But you know what I do when I get a video in my YouTube recommendations about some fairly basic physics concept?

I skip it. No shade to the creator, but like. I hit that topic a decade ago and I've added literally thousands of hours of studying and research to my brain since. I'm just going to give it a pass, all right?

These kinds of videos self-select for an audience which isn't going to be familiar with the source material. The people who know it are unlikely to keep listening after the first minute or so.

And you've got to remember how much of this content the experts have consumed! With very few exceptions for weird little things that stuck in my head after all these years, I would probably not notice a physics explanation plagiarized from one of my textbooks! Not because I wasn't intimately acquainted with the textbook, but because I was intimately acquainted with many such textbooks. Spend enough time learning this stuff and it all blurs together a little bit. Does this explanation sound familiar because you've heard it before, or because you've just read books which cover this specific topic seven different times? And does that wording or that example ring a bell because it's plagiarized, or because it's common to the field?

Catching this kind of plagiarism requires having the kind of people who are already familiar with these sources, and therefore uninterested in video summaries on the topic, to watch the video. And among those people who do, it requires them to match Somerton's words to one specific source on the topic out of many, that they probably read quite some time ago. And then you have the filter of how many of those subject matter experts have the source on hand to check, to turn a vague "...hmm" into something solid.

If you know enough about queer history to say that some of his plagiarism was obvious, now that you've watched the video, then you should remember that there is a reason you probably weren't one of the people watching his videos! And because YouTube promotes videos through algorithmic engagement, none of this stuff has to pass the sniff test for any other expert in the field before it gets released. No experts have to like it for it to get published or for it to get good reviews or for it to get a recommendation in, I don't know, the New York Times.

The only people who have to like the videos for them to get traction are people who are just trying to learn introductory queer history and film theory. The exact people who aren't going to notice this. And for those of you who to whom it is obvious, ask yourself. When was the last time you watched a basic level queer history introduction on YouTube?

[eeksburner]

Sweet Sunshine

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Wife!Reader

(Note: I am yearning for summer. I miss California, my sweet home state.)

Tw: OOC Simon not wearing his mask when he normally would, not lore accurate

Not proofread

Simon bought a summer vacation home in California just for you, right near the coast

It's nothing crazy, a small cottage with a decent backyard that's only a few minutes away from anything a person could want

You guys rent it out whenever you aren't there, asking friends to check in on it to make sure it's not wrecked after people stay. It basically pays for itself, so you guys got lucky

When your plane lands, you can't wait to feel the sea water in the air and the sweet sunshine on your skin

Simon will opt for a tank top or T-shirt and shorts, no mask since he's so far away from anyone that would potentially identify him. The crowds of people at the beach and essentially everywhere else also give him a good sense of anonymity

He gets to be such a beautiful tan color by the end of your vacation, it's arguably the most attractive he is out of the whole year. The tan is good at highlighting all of his muscles and adding a few cute freckles here and there that you kiss away and are gone by fall

You wear sweet summer dresses that make Simon feel nothing but pure adoration, your hair done in cute waves or braids, cheeks kissed by the sun

Neither of you is complaining when you get to see the other in your bathing suits, ready to run into the cold Pacific water

Some afternoons are spent in the hammock in the backyard, lying lazily in the dappled sunlight, little bugs and birds flitting by, creating a beautiful ambiance

You insist on going to the best local grocery store that carries locally grown lemons, strawberries, and avocados. You make the best lemonades, desserts, and guacamole, just for Simon

On the days you get up early enough to see the sun rise, you bundle up in layers, the marine fog still lingering in some parts, and sit on the patio swing. Simon makes the two of you coffee, and you watch as the sky swims with shades of orange, pink, yellow, and blue, the stars fading away as the sun starts to shine

Some nights, you choose to stay out late, Simon loads up with firewood, and takes you to a secluded spot where you can have a private bonfire on the shore. You bring stuff to make s'mores and giggle when Simon drops his third marshmallow in the fire

Reading is a common pastime for you and Simon on vacation, setting out a large blanket on the grass in your backyard, watching as the blades sway and glisten with the wind and sun. Sometimes he reads to you, sometimes you to him. Most of the time, you read your own books, bodies touching in one way or another, until it gets too warm and you have to wipe your sweat off onto the blanket

Simon may not like roughhousing with his sweet little wife most of the time, but in the water, he's a whole different beast. You can try to run as fast as you can on the hot sand, but he'll catch up to you. You can kick and squeal as you watch him bring you closer and closer to the water, but nothing will stop him from jumping into the cold waves with you

Simon will take you shopping for a summer wardrobe weeks before you leave, giving you time to scope out any new designs or pieces you want to stock up on before you leave (Yes, he will wear matching swim shorts to your bathing suit)

Simon doesn't get his hair cut while on vacation, so his normally short hair will grow out just enough to make him have a boyish charm that he doesn't normally have, with streaks of naturally sun-bleached highlights

You guys shower together. Simon made sure he got a place that had a shower big enough for both of you. After a long day in the sun, it's nice to wash each other clean of the salt water and the sand, ending with a tired cuddle session in bed

Simon will get you any souvenir you want. Go to any event you want. Visit any beach you want. Go on any hike you want. His only request is that you're happy.

You, being the doting wife you are, make sure that Simon is wearing his sunscreen no matter what. He got burned one time when he insisted that walking around at the farmer's market wouldn't be enough to burn him. He was wrong. He flinches away when the cold sunscreen hits his warm back, but he doesn't complain. Sometimes you'll do it before he's expecting it, just to see the way his back bows away from the cold feeling and the little gasp he gives

It's a tradition to visit the Monterey Bay Aquarium. You take a few days to hang out in the surrounding towns and spend a full day there. Simon's favorite exhibit is the one that shows all of the bioluminescent creatures. He thinks they're cool. His second favorite thing to see is you and how entranced you get at seeing all of the glorious life California's ocean has to offer.

You make sure to take a lot of pictures of your gorgeous husband, and he does the same for you. Your phone camera, a professional camera, and a Polaroid camera, barely enough to encapsulate the beauty and love you both feel while being swallowed whole by the sun, stars, and sea that lie within the confines of California, and only California.

[obscure-entity]

your shading is AMAZING specially when its conveying organic forms..... do you have any tips for people who dont know wrf going on (with shading)

ok so HI. hi. my old tutorial pisses me off so i will make a new one

i made a guy whose sole purpose is to be shaded so dont worry he likes it. and his name. his name will be mr. Boob. mr boob does not have to be blue

theres probably way better explanations of how to do it but unfortunately trying to "emulate" shading does ask you to somewhat understand ur character in a 3d way. like what would the 2d shape be if you "sliced" it? mr boob is made of so many circles. his tail also does a kind of weird perspective foreshortening thing because its pointing at you. is this being conveyed

you obviuously dont have to draw a horrendous grid on your characters skin to do this . BUT it helps you put down (or at least envision) the lines of the form shading :

dont worry about cast shadows or the shading color because this is FORM SHADOW time only. think about what surfaces of the character are obviously facing away from the light source and put down the "separation line" of the shading based on that. thr most important thing is that youre trying to separate light from dark

im going to pick the first one for cast shadows bc it will be the most obvious to me

ok so. his ears and snout are blocking other surfaces of his body from the light, which means a shadow is cast!!!! bam. i saw someone describe cast shadows as what the light's pov "can't see." his entire body is putting down a cast shadow on the ground too

im impatient so i blended the form shadows now. its usually the easiest to just NOT blend cast shadows as a way of conveying that they are still cast shadows. but you can still blend them if you want to show "distance" between the obstruction and the surface its blocking. but its just a way of saying form and cast shadows should not be treated the same even if their softness coincides

im going to lump reflection and ambient light together because theyre like. similar. reflections dont just happen in mirrors

since the sky is blue, making the ambient lighting, i tinged mr. boobs existing shadow to be a bit blue. (*this is kind of important because it can help you decide a shading color, which should USUALLY be based on the environment) (unless your character is just in the transparent void then it doesnt matter)

since the ground is pink, i made pink light bounce off of him. pointed and labelled. i dont rlly know how to go more in depth than that

contact shadows are literally shadows formed from direct-touching contact. very little light can reach in there, even from how reflections disperse, which means youre free to use the darkest color available (black). in this case mr. boob is making contact with the floor. because he is sitting on the floor.

i touched him up a bit and wow!!!!!!!!!! look at mr. boob!!! he is so beautifully sculpted.

and one more thing

thats right. i made mr boob PINK. hes fucking ruined now. just kidding i would never say that to him

what im trying to convey here (its the easiest with really light colors) is a transitional color. this can also show subsurface scattering depending on how you use it which is fun to look at. the mistake i made on my last tutorial was "Just pick a warm saturated color!" which is really wrong in examples like Blue mr boob. because it would be weird to use a warm color to transition from blue to blue.

if you have a character that isn't bright enough then obviously the shadows wont be as visible. its BEST to bring more attention to highlights and reflections to reveal the form a bit. they play the biggest role with darker colors

thats all i can think of. fun things to look up:

structuralization + contour lines + foreshortening etc. 3d lingo

form shadows

cast shadows

ambient light

contact shadows

subsurface scattering

im also just speaking out of my ass otherwise. i didnt look up any of these terms until the end now im inferring and hoping i got them right

and remember every time you shade mr boob will be rooting for you

[penvisions]

services requested {chapter three}

Pairing: Older! Joel Miller x Sugar Momma! Reader

Summary: Secrets are the undoing of everything good. That much you know for damn sure.

Word Count: 6.9k

Warnings: no outbreak au, modern au, age gap (joel is mid 50's, reader is late 20's / early 30's), reader is more of an oc written in the x reader style, reader is described to have a scar and tattoos, mommy vibes, reader see's joel and knows she wants to provide for him, joel is older and tired, power dynamics, sexual undertones, instant connection, mutual pining, flirting, casual touches, mutual attraction, angst, family drama, strained family dynamics, mentions of past drug use, mentions of past trauma, mentions of physical attack (very brief), allusions to predatory behavior, allusions to power imbalances within the tattoo world, verbal threat, argumentative language, joel's sharp tongue, reader is depcited to have a manic anxiety attack, angst, we also get a nickname reveal in this one!

Fic Notes: please, if you have any qualms about the setting of this fic, do not reblog or comment with hate. my dms are open for discussion if you feel like you need to say anything. let's be respectful going into a new year, there are ample warnings and you are in charge of the content you consume

A/N: hi, i'm back with chapter three for y'all! ♡ feel free to (kindly) holler at me once you're done ♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || navigation || ko-fi

You’re in the middle of recanting of a funny story from one of the last camping trips you took, giggling at the memory of over a dozen wild turkeys running through your campsite and taking the unfastened rainfly with them when you hear the bell ding over the front door.

The deep rumble of Joel’s voice says your name and the two assistants at the front desk snap out of whatever they’re doing to greet him and tell him that you’re in the middle of a session. He assures them that he knows you, knows he’s coming to visit and then you hear the soft footsteps of your personal assistant as they approach through the curtains that hide the workstations from the entryway.

“Grey, there’s a really handsome man asking after you. Says he knows you.”

A gooey smile overtakes your lips as you picture Joel in the other room, standing tall and displaying confidence you now know is a front when he’s in new environments. He is confident in his own settings, in his own element and there’s something endearing about the way he’s trying his best to maintain that as you expose him to new things and introduce him to a different facet of the world.

“That’s my friend, he can come on back. If you’re cool with that?” You pause in the shading you’re stippling through the finished outline of a fox skull, muted pastel colors to highlight it beside you on the table set up. At her quick nod you smile at the younger girl, she’s focused on her book while you work on her thigh, a large piece she had been excited to knock on all-in-one sitting.

“Mr. Miller, you can come on through!” You raise your voice enough for it to carry, you’re pretty sure he’s partially deaf in his right ear. There’s a deep scar there that lines his temple, probably from some work accident, but you haven’t asked about it in case it’s a sensitive spot. You know all about scars carrying heavy stories. Maybe he’ll share it one day, maybe you’ll share you own story about the one you know he glimpsed that first day you met him.

As soon as he walked through the curtain you could tell something is wrong. But you try to maintain your professional mask and push forward. If something is truly wrong, he’ll tell you. You trust him to be honest with you, to be real with you.

He’s not smiling and he looks entirely uncomfortable. Not even trying to be collected beyond his polite words. But he shouldn’t be, if the glimpse of his bullseye tattoo on his hand has anything to say about the setting. He gingerly sets the to-go cup on the non-plastic wrap part of your desk. Right by where your phone is propped up on a framed photo beside the tablet you’re using as a reference.

“Hi, hope the drive wasn’t too much? I know this is pretty deep downtown.” You watch him take in the room where he stands with his hands in his pockets. The gallery style frames that are everywhere, mixed with posters and paper artwork, the little figurines- it’s a mess really. Something you don’t particularly like about the scene, how overcrowded and decorated personal spaces are. But it is what it is, you wonder what he’s thinking as you rinse off the mixture of white and black you had been using. The hum of the tattoo gun is quiet, one of your charged ones in favor of the traditional one you love. It’s still in the box from moving, though now it’s nestled in your own garage instead of your parents.

“Was okay.” He barely get out, voice low and deep. Like he’s holding back what he really wants to say and it triggers alarm bells to ring in your head.  

“…everything…good?” You can see the same tension in his body from when you had taken him to the salon, but this…this was so much heavier on him now. His brother- it probably hadn’t gone well with his brother, but you weren’t about to ask him in front of people who he didn’t know and didn’t know him.

“Good.” Is his short reply and you feel dread settle like little pebbles in your stomach. That tone. It’s a lie, it’s forced. And your instincts fire up to the point where you’re turning the machinery off and tapping the girl on your table.

“Hey, gonna take a quick smoke break, let you get up and stretch your muscles. It’s been a good two hours to start.” She nods, putting her book down finally and watching as you spray a solution onto her skin and gently wipe it away with one of the many stacked paper towels you set up.

He’s stiff when you stand and stretch out the muscles of your back from hunching over. The cracks that sound in the air feel good as they release tension, but you don’t pay them any mind as you walk him back out to the entrance. There’s a filing cabinet for each artist here, four in total. And you can feel his eyes on your back as you dig around for the copies of the permits you made and their corresponding paperwork.

“The block I purchased is a few streets down. Closer to the south side, where the buildings begin to thin out. Didn’t want it to be too crowded for construction but also wanted to stay in the loop of downtown events. We can check it out when you have some downtime this week around your job, but there’s no pressure. I’ve got the deed and land survey here for you as well to go over.” Turning, you see his eyes flash to your hands, how they curl around the manilla folder so like the one you had handed him a few days ago.

“I’ll look it over, the permits are already submitted?”

“Yes, for building two shop fronts. One is classified as a prospective rental space while the other is classified as a business operation. My license was accepted by the state as a temporary transfer, but I won’t be able to operate a personal business until the application for an official one is approved. Didn’t really plan on moving until construction was completed anyway, need the cash flow to fund some of it and prove the validity of the business.”

“Got it, I’ll be in touch once I check on these. Drive by the lot too, check it out.”

“Oh, okay.” You feel a little dismissed as he takes the folder from you carefully, like he’s avoiding your hands brushing against each other. He’s avoiding your gaze too, now that you’re thinking about it.

“Probably be in touch before we leave for Philadelphia. But you have my number and work email if not.”

He’s turning away, just like that. And you let him. But not without reminding him he can use the card you gave him for any travel expenses he might need help with.

“Don’t worry, the trip is already budgeted for. But thanks.” His word sting, landing hard on your tense shoulders but all you can do is watch him walk out the door, voice caught in your throat.

It’s been more than a few days since you’ve heard from Joel. He never emailed or texted anything about the paperwork he came to get from the shop. He was there for a handful of minutes, when you thought he would at least stick around for a little tour and walkthrough of what kind of work you did.

Pushing the hurt away, you suspect it has something to do with how things went with his brother. At least, that’s all you had to go on and it was only a hunch. You know there’s strain there, an underlying strain to their connection. He offhandedly mentioned a nephew during one of your quiet conversations, but you don’t recall if it was a recent development or not.

Setting down the book you’re trying to read through, the last in a series of four romance novels by your favorite author, you pull out your laptop from the bedside table. The only thing on your mind as every description of a flawed but perfect man on the pages roves beneath your eyes is Joel.

Philadelphia.

That’s where Sarah lives, is attending graduate school and working an internship in her chosen field. He is so proud of her, so happy he could help give her the chance at an opportunity to do what she loves, even if the intricacies of social work are lost on you. You did a small guest spot at a shop there a few years ago, back before you had established yourself, back when you were still honing your skills. But you remember a lovely little spa that you had gone to with a friend, and you look them up now.

With the purchase of a package treatment for four, you attach the corresponding verification and specifications to a new email. The swoosh of it sending successfully helps to ease some of the anxiety built up inside you.

On the other side of town, Joel’s phone dings in his pocket. The new one that had arrived at his house that morning still in the box it showed up in. Already set with a tough case to withstand the elements of his job and a thin glass screen protector. His heart flutters even now as he recalls the beautiful looping scrawl of your cursive on a note saying he deserved a nice phone he didn’t have to worry about cutting his hand on. That you counted on those hands to create good things for you, and you wanted to ensure their safety moving forward.

A kind gesture and joke that both landed badly.

His phone was still an older version of the most popular brand, cracked screen but still worked. Your face when he used it in front of you for the first time had made him bark out a laugh. A comment about not being glued to his phone like you were meant he didn’t really care what it looked like as long as it worked.

Squinting through the dated prescription of his sunglasses, he sees your personal email address at the top of his notification list. With a grunt, he swipes open his mail app and opens up the message.

‘Mr. Miller,

I know you said you would be in contact and I don’t want to intrude on your business hours so this will be quick. Attached is a receipt and verification for a spa I loved in Philly. For you and your girls to enjoy during your visit, as well as Sarah’s boyfriend. There is also a reservation made at a restaurant that one of my friends is the sous chef at as well, a nice steak house. A birthday present and meal for you. I’m unsure of the date but wanted to make sure you received something from me.

Hope the day is good to you,

Grey’

With a scoff that burns through his throat, Joel stuffs the phone back into his pocket. He was still stewing on the fact that you’re married.

Sighing deeply, Joel sinks into the cushions of his worn leather couch. Ellie is in the kitchen putting some dinner together, planning it just right based on the response to when he anticipated being home- reasonably for once. He can hear her easy-going laughter and soft conversation with the girl she’s begun to bring around more.

It’s good for her, she deserves to be happy. Been dealt so much heartache that it’s about time she finds the joy in living and taking things into her own hands. He’s proud of her.

He’s bone tired, entire body taut with working all day in the summer sun. The deck is nearly complete, something he’s thrown himself into working on while admittedly giving you a wide berth. He’s not sure how to proceed. He’s already signed the contract and despite the… complication, he still really wants to fulfill it. You obviously need the help from someone who you trust to do the work, offering to hire him either way because you admire the way he went about renovating your parents’ house across the street.

He feels like a dick for the way he interacted with you last, when he visited the shop downtown. You were so excited for him to see where you worked and earn your name in a world he didn’t know much about. To show him around and talk about that part of your life. He recalls the way your glittering eyes dulled when he barely managed to get out short responses to your concerned questions. He had been too caught up in being blindsided by the new information about your personal life.

The demeanor he adopted was short, his eyes watching your every move to read more about you that he may not have originally caught on to. There was no ring on your finger, at least not one that could be mistaken for a wedding band. Perhaps it was by omission? A way to avoid the conversation.

He had acted like he didn’t know you, like you weren’t friends or at least on friendly terms. A business partner, that’s what he had acted like. Has been acting like.

His email in response to your kind one didn’t acknowledge the original content, instead he had forged ahead with a brief synopsis of how your permits all looked good and should be approved by the end of the month. He tried not to picture the crestfallen expression on your face as you opened the email to see his clipped words.

He’s furious. Two weeks later and he knows it’s because he’s hurt.

The photos of your wedding are the last post on your account. Marked a year and a half ago. He knows you moved here six months ago. He can see the fact that you’re online based on the little green dot beside your icon. You obviously still use the account, that much is clear even if you haven’t posted anything recently. You’re smiling in the photos, absolutely glowing in the arms of someone who looks exactly like the type you’d be into.

Younger, longer hair, slim waste and paired with lean muscles. Thick brows and suave sense of self, palpable even through the screen. How could he have been so stupid?

The betrayal of his own circumstance rears up, making him feel the whole ordeal again in bright, striking memories. Sarah couldn’t have been two years old, crying her little heart out in the living room as she had been set in her rocking cradle. The sounds of deep moans and slapping skin raining down the stairs like some sort of fucked up scene. Home from work and exhausted like he is now, but younger by more than two decades. He hadn’t even bothered to disturb them, the woman he called his wife and whoever she had deemed more important than her own daughter.

He had waited in the living room, soothing his little girl as best she could. Getting her to calm down while his heart raced and his mind moved a mile a minute wasn’t an easy thing, but he had managed to get her to sleep. That’s when they had both come down the stairs, her in her robe and him fastening his pants back up like he owned the damn place. Jokes and laughter bubbling up until they spotted him sitting on the couch cradling a relaxed Sarah.

It had been a mess, they were both high as kites. Something Joel had never expected from the woman he had married, had dated his entire senior year in high school and then into his first year of college. But when she realized she was pregnant, he dropped out and started working construction to bring in the money they would need. Allowing her the freedom to keep her own light schedule of classes to appease her parents and work part time at their grocery store.

He feels the sting of her words now, as he gazes down at photos of you smiling with another man. That he hadn’t been enough, that he didn’t give them enough of his time and attention. He wonders if your husband knows the offer you made him, maybe have made to others before. The words you said to him echo in his head alongside hers.

Other men have embellished their skill sets in order to receive the same offer.

He has to admit, he didn’t think you were the type of person to be so causal about an affair. But then again, he didn’t think his now ex-wife would’ve turned to illegal drugs to handle her postpartum manic depression and bring her drug dealer into their house to fuck him while their baby cried her head off.

It’s hard to reconcile the person he’s gotten to know over the last month with the shifting image of you now knowing the things that he does. The kind and spunky daughter of his best friend across the street. The one who he’s heard nothing but good things and gentle praise about for years since he moved into this neighborhood. Always saying that he’s raising two strong girls just like their own, and maybe when you visited, they could be friends.

Your soft smiles and harmless taunts make his chest hurt, he can’t tell if they were real or all some ploy to get him to soften up around you. He doesn’t feel like they had been fake, not the quiet words you both shared over cups of coffee and while he had you watch over the detailing of specific tasks to ensure it was what you wanted. The way you always made sure him and the crew had coffee and food, wanting them to not feel pressured about the deadline and still be able to focus fully on the tasks at hand.

It can’t have been fake, he saw your veneer of polite professionalism come down. He comforted you when he saw tears spring up in your eyes and you kept grabbing at the spot on your lower back where he knows there’s a scar.

You’re friends. You and him. At least…you were friends. He doesn’t feel like it at the moment, he feels like he’s caught his ex-wife cheating all over again. The feeling of your soft, gentle hands running through his hair surprise him, the way you had soothed him while he sat in a salon chair for the first time in a long time. The setting was new to him, a nice place with rich and colorful decoration, beautiful people with luscious hair and fantastic artwork painting their exposed arms. Long lashes, immaculate make-up, expensive looking clothes. He was out of place, same with the tattoo shop he had stopped in later on in the day.

It made him nervous in a way he didn’t anticipate. Like you would see him, really see that he was just some blue-collar man who did harsh labor day in an day out. Someone who could provide for himself until his last breath, but then again- that’s exactly what you saw. The contract offered, read over, and signed proves that. He just can’t fathom the why, now that he knows you’re married.

As soon as Ellie and Dina are ascending the stairs after a decent meal, one in which he tried to be as present during as possible even with his mind a blur of conflicting thought, Joel is taking the keys from the bowl beside the door and heading out the door.

He needs to get to the bottom of this now.

“Hey, Joel, is everything okay?” Your mind is working overtime as you swing the door open to find the man standing there on the stoop. It’s small, just enough space for your giant potted elephants ear plant, a little table, and one patio chair. The railing is gone, something you had taken down before you moved in, the furniture in easier and something you wanted to replace anyway.

You worry for a second that something is wrong, the radio silence wasn’t quite so profound, the understanding that he was working his last job before going out of town and then you being busy with a few clients who had big pieces to complete. But the emails you had exchanged were…strained? Something’s off, has been ever since that first day he handed over the signed contract and then came to the shop to visit. Despite that conversation going over relatively well, perfect even.

He's not moving to come into the house, though you open the door to offer him room to pass by and enter. Joel’s jaw is clenched tightly, you can see it twitching with the force he’s grinding his teeth together with.

You know you look a mess, face washed for the night, baggy clothes and knotted hair pulled up off you the back of your neck. You didn’t have anything scheduled tonight so you’ve just been mindlessly scrolling through the streaming services, not really focusing on finding something to watch. It was always the same routine until you settled on something you’ve watched over a million times already. It’s a comfort thing, that’s what your therapist says. To avoid being exposed to something you aren’t expecting in new media.

“Dunno, why don’t you ask your husband if everything is okay. Considering you just hired me as a personal contractor with an intimacy clause in his goddamn contract!” You flinch at the volume of his voice, the echo of it as it bounces off of closed garage doors and back through your open door. Your nails dig into the worn wood of the front door, catching Joel’s eyes as they do so.

“I don’t have a husband.” Your jaw clenches as your mouth snaps shut. Phantom pains break out all over your skin, pebbling the skin in goosebumps as the sting of a blade lances in your back.  “Please just- come inside where we can have a little more privacy.”

“No? Sure seems like your client from the other day is convinced you’ve got one.” Joel towers over you, standing right in front of you settled against the back of the couch once he follows you inside. “Checked your account, saw the damn photos myself and here I was defending you against my shithead brother that you had no ill intentions.”

When you don’t say anything, too taken aback by the vehemence in his words, he continues on- overrun by the emotions he’s being bombarded with from every angle. The ones he had thought he dispelled after talking with you, after mulling over the stipulations of the contract a few times. But day one is here and he’s not sure how he feels anymore- other than betrayed and lied to. Played like a goddamn fool. That much is obvious, but the not one, but two mentions of the reason for your sudden move across the country is triggering and it’s hard to catch your breath let alone speak the soothing words you want to.

“I thought this whole thing was too good to be true, young thing like yourself offering me the chance of a lifetime. Turns out you’re married and have a husband who probably just doesn’t give you enough attention so you go looking for it with people you can keep around with the promise of money. Thought this would be a way to spend more time doing what I wanna do and focus on my girls, but no. Played like the fool I am once again. It was all a sham, this whole thing-“

“It is not a mistake!” Rage takes over your entire body, flames of it striking hot and consuming you.

“Yeah, sweetheart, it really does look like it is. Well, where is he? Off on some business trip or does he like to be in the house when you’ve got your men over? I sure as hell didn’t, but I don’t presume to know anything about you anymore.” And the self-depreciating smile he gives you sends you hurling over the edge of caution. Giving you the fuel to let the flames consume you and speak the words you haven’t to anyone but your lawyer.

“You wanna talk about my ex-husband so bad, Mr. Miller?” You push off the back of the couch and punch a sharp nail into his chest. You know he could feel the point of it through his clothing if the pinched expression he makes is any indication.

“You want to know about the man who was soliciting his apprentices right underneath my nose and then attacked me when I approached him about it, when I threatened to report him? You want to know about the man who probably did the same fucking thing to me, set his sights on me when I first started in this career and making a name for myself? You want to know about the man who he hired after our shitshow of a divorce to solicit me and give the community more reason to doubt my skills and hard-earned establishment? The guy I thought was such a breath of fresh air in the wake of something so fucking horrible only to find out the whole thing was a set up? He set his focus on fueling the rumors that I used my body to get where I am, that I slept my way into success. And I’ll tell you one more thing, Mr. Miller- you will not accuse me of being the shady motherfucker in this equation because I’m nothing like the man you assume is still in any part of my life.”

Chest heaving and body humming, you stare directly into his eyes. Seeing the weight of the words that rushed out of you settle in him, around the room, making it far more tense than it already had been. But it’s a different type of tension, one born of unease and spoken trauma. You left out the harder to swallow details, but the timeline you depicted is vile all the same.

His brown eyes flash with something like regret as his face slackens at your heated words. But it closes right back up into something unreadable. He doesn’t open his mouth to respond, it’s too busy frowning into a hard line. His plush lips almost white with the pressure of it. He’s poked and prodded at the one thing you have no patience for, insinuation of bad deeds and shady dealings. You realize that some conflict was bound to happen, either because of you or because of him- that’s just how human interactions and relationships went. But this?

This was something you never saw coming from the sweet, determined man who you had first met a month ago. His words had been vicious, biting and stinging where they land. Surely, he read something in the preconceived notion of your intentions, fueled by the dated knowledge of someone who you so thoroughly rinsed your hands of that they were serving time in prison with a restraining order against should he ever be free again. But right now you didn’t have it in you to ask after him, to make sure he was okay and if it was linked to something in his own past. Right now you were livid. The accusations he was slinging striking harder than the mistake of him taking you for a practiced sex worker who collected men.

“Jealously doesn’t look good on you, Mr. Miller. I suggest you get a hold of yourself and think about the next words to come out of your mouth very carefully. Otherwise you’ll be proven right that this whole thing is one big mistake.”

He’s just staring and your body thrums as you glare back at him. With nothing else to say in defense, you dismiss him as professionally as you can, even if right now you feel like absolute trash. You didn’t rage and ruin, you didn’t hurl fists or hurtful words. That isn’t who you are, even at your most angry and betrayed. Not anymore. He didn’t deserve it, deep down in your very soul you know he doesn’t deserve that despite the manner in which he approached you. He’s a hurt man, his pride and emotions blindsided by something you were working up to telling him about.

“Blueprints for the original foundation of the house are on the island, should you deem me a good enough person to keep working for.” You turn your back on him, instincts urging you to retreat before you say something you’ll regret. Anger and hurt colliding in you among the flames of rage and old situations filling you up so full that it’s hard to put one foot in front of the other without stomping. “I trust you can see yourself out.”

You wait on the landing upstairs, the plush rug you had put down over the hardwood giving you the opportunity to stand there in silence. You don’t move forward until you hear the swoosh of thick papers being picked up and the click of the door behind Joel as he leaves the house. But you don’t let go of the breath held in your lungs until you hear the roar of his truck engine, and the shifting of gears signal his leave of the property completely.

Only then do your knees give out and you land heavy on your palms right on the floor. The rug is soft beneath you, but it does nothing to calm the shaking of your entire body as the adrenaline leaks out of you alongside it.

He’s numb and stunned the entire drive back across town. On autopilot as he maneuvers his truck down the late-night streets. He had no idea what time it was, but the sky twinkled with the few stars that shone brighter than the city lights.

He’s torn. Between the emotions that assaulted him all week as he lamented over who he thought you were and what you were capable paired now with the way he had approached you with no doubts in his mind of how you manipulated him. Only to find out that you were nothing like he had begun to think.

You were you. The same young woman who asked after his company to fix up your parents house the longer it sat and aged, sent them on a long vacation in order to do it. The same young woman who soothed him as his anxiety spiked. The same one who he soothed himself when you experienced a similar episode. Because you were a victim of the things he accused you of.

And it fucks him up to picture you happily married only to discover that your partner was cheating on you, betraying your trust in such a devastating way. He knows what it feels like, he’s lived it and his confrontation most likely has you living through it all over again.

As Joel slows down to turn into his driveway, a waving figure catches his eye.

Your parents are seated on their porch across the street and with a guilt settled in his stomach like lead, he gets out of the truck and heads over. You mother is beaming at him, your father already pouring amber liquid into a third cup and holding it out to him as he ascends the few steps.

“Joel Miller! How could you keep such a big secret from us?”

Joel’s heart thunders in his chest, the tight coil of muscles around it almost choking as he reinforces his stance in preparation for everything to come crashing down around him. They know, his mind betrays him. They know about the hurtful words and dirty thoughts he’s been having about you, how he just lost any semblance of who he thinks he is and shouted at you like a child who needed to be chastised for grave mistakes. But he’s the childish one now, ready to face the consequences of his rash actions brought on by past experiences and moments lived. He’s transported back into that younger body of his, that younger mindset that everything is his fault. That he’s the bad guy and he fears he always will be.

Just as he breaths in, the controlled expression on your parents’ faces fall away into wide grins and giddy energy.

“Yeah, man, can’t believe you and my daughter conspired behind our backs to do the house over!” Joel is slow to take the offered drink, not sure if it’s the best idea to start now. But he downs it after clinking it against the two your parents hold up. Setting the thick glass down, he signals no more for himself, though they pour another generous helping into their glasses to sip at.

“We can’t thank you enough for all the attention to detail, it’s a dream come true. We feel so spoiled, you two are gonna be trouble moving forward, aren’t you?”

The porch light gives Joel the perfect view of your fathers humor, mirth dancing in his eyes as he jests that his close friend and daughter are cut from the same cloth. And even now, with how things are between you two- Joel feels pride at being compared to someone as good as you. He’s heard nothing but praise about you from your parents, from the two women who were at the tattoo shop, from the crew after they finished the renovation. You were good and he was a goddamn fool.

“Was just doin’ my job, Lydia. Treated it a little more carefully than other projects, but a job nonetheless.”

“Nonsense! You truly outdid yourself here, it’s just amazing. You have such a good eye, all we did was offhandedly mentioned things we might want to get done some day- eventually. But you and Grey have surprised the hell out of us.” Relief washes over him, giving him a reprieve from the torment he’s been wallowing in for most of the day. Hell, for the past week as he’s been subjecting himself to.

“That girl never rests, not even after the hard year she’s had. She gives so much of herself to everyone around her just like you and this is beyond anything we expected.” Lydia is near tears, no doubt due to a combination of being an overly emotional person and the alcohol she’s consumed in the late hour.

“She just moved back too, barely has had any time to get her own house fixed up but she goes and drops all the money to get ours redone after sending us on an unreal holiday for our anniversary? Bless her, she’s one of the best things I’ve ever had the pleasure in taking a part in making.” Her voice is strong even as she dabs at her eyes with a tissue.

“Grey is my crowning achievement. She’s stronger than I’ll ever be, that’s for damn sure. Not to get into it too much, but the day she showed up here with a black eye and told me she needed to move in, all I could see was red. I could’ve killed for her, but she said she had already taken care of it.” Your father’s words settle heavy in his stomach, making him nauseous as the reality of what he did hits him.

The stab of regret for his words, for your forced admission of your own trauma at his demand is sharp in his chest. Prickling over his entire body as he realizes the depth of his mistake in confronting you the way he did. Bidding them goodnight, Joel somberly crosses the street and retreats back into his own home.

“Hey, Joel! Did you know that the neighbor’s daughter, the one who you’ve been working on the renovation with, is one of the best tattoo artists in the Midwest? Her page is insane, I think I’m gonna need to ask you to use your connections to get me a consultation, I want her to design something for me, finally cover up this scar. But she’s booked up for months, her assistant said there’s something like a year long waiting period to get an appointment. That’s so freaking cool, just today she posted some designs and they are so awesome! She goes by Grey, cause of the way her shading is next level.”

To make matters worse, Ellie fires off quick words at him the second he’s back through the door. She’s in her version of sleep clothes as she sits at the kitchen table with a glass of milk and an open bag of cookies. Voice carrying to him through the house.

“Uh, yeah, baby girl, I’ll ask next time I see her.” He shucks off his boots, still dressed in his work clothes from when he had gotten home earlier. He must be staring off into space, face betraying how off kilter he feels because Ellie is quickly getting up from her spot and crossing into the living room.

“Hey….everything okay? You look a little more grumpy than usual. Which is saying something because you’ve been more relaxed lately. Did something happen?”

And for the life of him, Joel couldn’t hold back the tears he feels well up hot behind his eyes. His lungs lurch and a sob escapes through his lips when he opens them up to reassure her everything is okay.

“Woah, okay. Let’s sit, yeah?” She’s up in his personal space in a heartbeat, ushering him back into the living room and onto the couch with small hands and gentle movements.

“Just missin’ you and Sarah, is all. I feel like I haven’t given y’all enough of my time these past few years.”

“What are you talking about, you’re working to provide for us. College isn’t cheap and you’re only one man. A really good one, selfless and loving. I-I don’t know where I would be without you, dad.” When she reaches for his hand and tangles her fingers with his, he looks up to the ceiling to try and reign in the tears that are rapidly falling. He can taste them on his tongue as they drip into his mouth, nose and throat burning as they consume him. As everything hits him like a freight train.

And then it all comes tumbling out of him is quiet words, between heaving breaths and gasping exhales.

All of it, how he feels so conflicted being attracted to you with the difference in ages, the way he knows you through one of his close friends, because he started working for you. And then the contract you offered him for work, an opportunity to slow down and be with her more. How he feels like he’s failed as a father and brother. The argument he had with Tommy, the check he shoved at him as a way of showing him he still loved the man even if he couldn’t say it. How he feels left behind in favor of something better, a new life with new people he had no part of. All of it leaves him, deflates him as the words are given actual life as they pass through his lips. No longer plaguing his mind on a loop, unshared and unraveled.

To her immense credit, Ellie listens to it all with a closed lipped expression. Her bright eyes watching the way he tangles his hands together, how he runs them through his shortened hair and trimmed scruff. All of it is displayed so clearly in him, no longer hidden away for him to shoulder alone.

“You know, I was home from classes one day, and I saw you two unloading the truck. The way you two moved together, like magnets drawn to each other. That same goofy smile on your face as when I tell you a bad pun but aimed at her when she’s done nothing but simply breath. The smiles she gives you when you aren’t looking, it was- well, honestly, it was a little gross to witness. But it was also good, dad. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so carefree and just yourself. The laughter and sounds of you two working together came out the open window of the house and it just…it sounded right, you know?”

When he doesn’t respond, Ellie continues on in a confident voice.

“Sounds like you’ve got a really important first job then, huh?”

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[jilixthinker]

hii 👋🏻 i don't know if this has been written before but i saw it in a comment and wanted to read it for skz.... 👀

🎀you are asking to put a ribbon on his d🎀 aaaand the reactions and maybe the events that follow 🤭🤭

it could be changbin or 3racha or skz all separately, whatever you want 🩷

candy boy

=͟͟͞♡ changbin × fem!reader

=͟͟͞♡ ribbon challenge

word count: 1.2K

content warning: explicit sexual content, established relationship, sub!changbin, oral sex (m receiving)

a/c: this took forever and i am very sorry! but Binnie was so perfect for this and I just needed to give it a go. hope you’ll forgive me hun ❤️‍🩹

=͟͟͞♡ please consider reblogging if you like my works!

Changbin eyes are pleading, lashes long and pretty against his full cheeks and a tiny tear nestled on the corner of his eyes. He’s been watching you for several minutes now, as you diligently apply some makeup on his face. The blush you did choose for highlighting his features is of a pretty cool shade of pink, and it matches the lipstick that you carefully selected between the ones he picked earlier. It’s a little bit sticky on his lips, and it shines as if it was a layer of caramelized sugar. It surely gonna taste sweet.

“Baby…” he whispers, a small whine escaping from his parted mouth, “how long is it going to take?”

You finish brushing the blush on his cheekbones and pout at him. “Binnie, you promised that you were going to stay still.”

Changbin shifts from his position. He is sitting on a chair, in front of the wall mirror of your bathroom, and he is wearing nothing but a big fluffy sweater. Pink, of course. His plush thighs are parted and the shiny head of his small cock is peaking out from the soft bush of jet black hair just at the end of his happy trail. That is soft as well, you know that. He always use shampoo and conditioner on that as well, and you always spend an insane amount of time caressing and twirling your fingers around his curls. But not today. Today he has to wait.

“Yes, I know – but…” he continues, puffing some air out. The fabric of the sweater accentuates the softness of his chest, and you softly let your hand fall in between his clothed pecs, “it kinda hurts now.”

Your gaze ends up on the soft pudge of his tummy, barely covered by the only piece of clothing he is wearing and you pinch it between your thumb and index, making him shiver. “Does it?” you ask, fake sweetness on your tone. “That’s because you got all hard while I was making you pretty, baby. If it would have stayed soft, it wouldn’t hurt for sure”.

Changbin sighs and his cock twitches in between his legs. “I tried,” he insists, “but you keep touching me, it’s not my fault.”

That’s not completely untrue. You have been teasing him for the last 30 minutes. Your thighs purposely brushing against his bare skin and hands wandering on his chest and shoulders, lightly grazing at his nipples from above the fabric. He’s been waiting for you to finish his makeup, as you asked, but he got hard, that was almost inevitable.

But he was the one asking for this in the first place. You were peacefully testing some new products that you’ve been wanting to try for a long time, and he interrupted you by showing you a tiktok video of some guy doing something called “ribbon challenge”, demanding your attention and pleading you until you finally gave up.

And now there he is, flushed and aroused, pretty makeup applied on his round and soft face, and a small tight ribbon tied at the base of his chubby tiny cock.

The ribbon is pink – as his sweater and as his face – and the tie is constricting his length at the limits of decency. If he just had stayed soft, it wouldn’t hurt. But you did nothing to make him stay soft.

“And what do I have to do about it?” you ask. Your lips find their way to the soft spot behind his ear and you place a humid kiss there.

Changbin hiccups and a pleading whine leaves his lips once again. His cock is bobbed against the fat of his inner thigh and the curls above it curls are glistening with a few drops of white precum. The ribbon stands cutely just an inch below that, the pink color in contrast with the redness of his length. The tip leaks just a pearl of dense liquid from the slit and Changbin eyes run to yours.

“I’ve been good. Please. Please, I’ve been good. Am I not pretty?” he asks as his cock tries to gain some friction by closing his legs a little. Your own knee quickly stops the movement, slotting in between his sturdy thighs.

“You are so pretty, Binnie. The prettiest,” you concede, pressing another languid kiss on the corner of his sticky lips. “I was just teasing you. What do you want, baby? You want my lips?”

Changbin almost mewls at your question and he nods furiously, making you chuckle. “Yes, please. Please, your mouth. Need s’ much, Binnie needs it.”

His cockhead bumps again his belly as you shift from your position to kneel down on the floor. The slap on the skin is lewd and wet, and it draws a thin stripe of precum on his bellybutton. Changbin soft grunts are delicious and you always try to elongate this moment more than you can just to feel him becoming restless under your touch. But today you played with him enough, and you decide to give him what he’s asking for as you lower you face, filling your lungs with his strawberry scent and finally mouthing at his shaft before grabbing the base of his cock with two of your fingers.

Changbin hisses what sounds like a curse, and you cup his balls with your other hand, suckling just at the gummy tip and swirling your tongue around it. “Like this, baby? My sweet candy boy wants me to eat him up like this?” you breathe, giving another kitten lick on the underside of the puffy head.

Changbin gulps again. “Yes. Oh god, please, yes. Thank you, thank you.” he pants out, teeth biting the fat of his bottom lip.

You smile mischievously as you grip his length, slapping his cockhead against your tongue. You do it a few times until Changbin is a shivering mess above you, and a spurt of white liquid shoots out of him. You use your thumb to spread it on your lips, mimicking the way you applied the clear lipstick on him.

“Baby, ah– please,” he keens as you slap his cock on your wet muscle a few more times before his hips buck forward and you curl your fingers around the base of his length once again. He lets out a shuddering breath, and with a quick movement you sink your head down to engulf the entirety of him.

When you feel him twitching against the roof of your mouth, you detach from his cock with a pop, hand lazily cupping one of his balls and rolling it on your palm. “Binnie, baby,” you coo, “I want to have fun too.”

Changbin pants heavily and hisses a painful whine at the loss of your heath. His cute face is flushed with a thin layer of sweat and the lipgloss is imperceptibly smudged on the corner of his lips. “W-what do you mean?”

You smile, and you nose at his tummy, biting it softly. “I mean…” you puff as you start a slow rhythm of stroking his aching girth, “that it would be so nice if you could pop that little ribbon with this cute little cock of yours. What do you think about that, baby? Can you get hard enough?”

Changbin eyes are glassy and teary, but he nods nonetheless. “I can. Binnie can.” he mutters in between his teeth, cock already engorged and impossibly red under your lustful gaze. “Binnie can make it,” he assures you with devotion. “Can make it pop.”

©️ jilixthinker, 2024. please do not copy, translate, or republish my works anywhere.

[tech-luver]

A little drabble that was very much inspired by the love at first sight with mer!drift by @ blueraspberryrodimus

Pining transformers always get to me and Drift can pine with the best of 'em. He really likes convincing himself that you could never love him.

Warnings: angsty but only cuz Drift is being dramatic

The longing was beginning to engulf him, make him take risker moves to get close to you. Last week he had worked up the courage to float under the dock right beneath you and try to catch the title of your latest read. Four days ago you had dropped a pen and warmed his spark the next day at your pleased gasp, surprised when it had appeared where you normally sat. He wondered if you puzzled over the light blue scrap of cloth tied around it or the Old Cybertronian he had shakily carved into the side, large servos trying not to fumble the tiny pen. Two days ago he had almost reached out to graze your ankle idly kicking in the swelling of waves, before realising how awful of an idea that would be. He wanted to woo you, not creep you out so you never return to these docks again.

The thought made his spark clench as he peeks around a strut and glances at the dark blob of your body, where you block light from reaching through the boardwalk slats. Your mass shifts and he ducks underneath the surface on instinct, helm falling into his servos at the battle raging inside of him. Get closer to you with the risk of scaring you away or stay underneath this pier and keep watching you read before you get bored and pick somewhere else to relax.

You would leave either way, one part of him said, so why not get one final closer look? He exvents and rises back to the surface, droplets sliding down his faceplate as he hears you turn another page. His tank churns, risk wasn't his thing, it was Roddy's, but to let you slip away without even a good look would break his spark. So, Drift made a plan, he would quietly pull his upper body onto the dock behind you when he knew you were absorbed in your book, admire you for a bit and slip away, maybe quenching this awful yet brilliant pull in his spark. Maybe enough so never seeing you again won't leave a burning ache.

He glances at your blob and eyes the land for any nosy humans before stretching his servos into a slow reach towards the ledge. He tests how much force he will need, if the dock will creak or even be able to support his weight, maybe using the strut would be better?

Servos adjust and audials strain for sounds of movement from you or the dock and there are moments where he freezes at the shifting of wood. It is a slow process but the thought of getting to see you up close, more than just carefully distanced glimpses, keeps him going.

The clink of Drift's chassis against the pier is lost in the hush of waves and he can't help the growing smile on his faceplate as he settles into his crossed arms.

There you are.

The setting sun paints a golden light down one side of you, highlighting that…hair? He had listened in on Hound's enthusiastic conversations about humans once, the way they differed from Cybertronians, and he had said something about hair.

All of this organic stuff was new to him but Primus would he try, he was trying, practicing running his digits through sea grass to see how gentle he would need to be for your strands. He wanted to know how you feel, your clothes that sway in the gentle breeze, your skin that glows in the evening light, your hair that waves to call him closer. There were parts of you he wanted to know more of like the sound of your voice! Gasps, huffs, chuckles, the occasional comment were all he got, he wondered what you sounded like laughing.

Oh and your eyes, he barely knew those, the way they sparkled in the evening light and contained such depths of colour none of his kind had. He tried to memorise them, pick apart all those shades and their Spectralist meaning, hoping one links to sparkmates or love. Now they were widening, showing more of that pearly white and telling him you were…

You were looking at him. Shocked. Scared.

Drift throws himself off of the dock, chassis scratching the wood as he tumbles into the water and darts away, spiralling down into the comforting darkness, the only thing that would welcome him.

He had ruined it, but he knew that wasn't going to stop him from returning to that dock every day, imagining that quiet time with you, again and again.