#trying to at least write everything down
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
There are dozens of funny blogs to kill time on Tumblr.
Text
i can't draw fast enough to keep up with all the concepts i have for the alola part of my au god damn
1 note
·
View note
Text
6 page (pg-13?) rinniki comic inspired by that one rly cute hajime story in which hajime is invited to eat pizza with rinne at niki's place. did this sort of as rinne's bday comic since niki got one too! sorry if its a little ooc i needed them in the Situation for this comic to work...
that dangling spit over someones face as punishment thing is 100% an older sibling forbidden move . anyway.. always fun to draw a short comic. see you aruound space cowboys
#ensemble stars#rinniki#enstars comic#SO HAPPY ITS READY now i can continue playing dwarf fortress😭😭😭😭 laughed so hard i cried at my game yesterday. listen to my story boy#we have a shared file between 3 ppl in total and we write records on what goes on. everyone ruling a year and passing the save file along#found a gorlak and i love gorlaks. our dogs wanted to tear him apart so i chained him in a nice new tavern. chained so the dogs wont attack#idecided to build a waterfall thru the tavern so hed be happier; lever connects to watergate that has water flowing from the river. levers#next to the waterfall. i get distracted by a forgotten beast invasion downstairs and go to check on it and when i come back everything is#flooded and my dwarves are scrambling to get to the lever to close the watergate but the water pressure is too strong. at this pt im crying#while im trying to channel water away from the tavern i release the gorlak. i make a hole in the floor. the water finally runs down to#the deep mines where another forgotten beast is killing every dwarf who earlier ran there to get away from the flooding in the fort#my stupid dwarf trick failed but at least my gorlak survived and lives in another tavern now :)#my year of reign ends and i pass the wet sopping fortress and ~30 corpses over to my wife who scrolls thru the fort in horror and tears#ahhh wow. dude life is so good sometimes
319 notes
·
View notes
Text
Possessed Pearl's
You know how in some ghost stories sometimes its not a person or a land that's haunted but the items?
Well what if, when looking for a mother's day gift for his mom, Danny is looking around a pawn shop and finds a necklace, it's missing some pearls but it's just enough to pass off as a decent gift. Danny humms but decides against it and goes to leave it....
That was until he gasped out blue frost and spots a ghostly woman appear out of the necklace with a somber smile. She isn't as seeable as the other ghosts in Amity though, meaning she doesn't have enough ectoplasm on her own (that might change the longer she's in Amity and around Danny though) and that right now only Danny can see her.
And Danny well... hes been doing his hero gig for a bit now, might go and ask if there was anything he can do to help.
And later Danny's good deed... bites him back. Oh boy. Because now he has the Bats looking into Amity Park... Wait what do you mean Martha is now strong enough to be seen?!
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc#crossover#blue rambles#writing ideas#random idea#danny phantom dc#dpxdc#Martha Wayne necklace#her ghost got stuck to it in her panic of being dead#this piece of necklace was the one cops took for evidence and was meant to return to Bruce#but lets say crooked cop decided to.... pawn it off#so it got lost before Bruce could even try to track it down#he found other pieces and replaced the lost ones but still#Martha soul has been attached to the pearls for years now and has kinda resigned herself to this fate#she knows her son is doing well from the stories shes managed to hear but not everything#she also knows at least Thomas is with Bruce#but what she didnt except after all these years for a boy who looks so strikingly like a teenage version of Bruce to come help her#Danny is gonna help... only to have it bite him in the butt#because once he delivers the necklace to Bruce it might turn his sights to Amity#Martha is the one that tells Bruce about Danny after finding out he's Batman btw#the kind ghost boy who has ghost hunter parents and the giw and the creepy godfather who cloned him and-#Martha is a mother. remember that.
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
the kids released a new album
#ts4#simblr#ts4 edit#ts4 render#sims 4#myedits#AUverse#dhestyn#kelly#ok i actually have things to say about this#FIRST OF ALL this is not what i intended to make when i sat down & started working on the bandAU#i had this big elaborate thing planned & then i realized... i didn't wanna do it. at least. not right now lol#idk why i think everything i make needs to be so elaborate & involved bc it doesn't?? like where did i get that idea from?#i can just make something small & silly sometimes yk#n e way. this is like. one of the kids' albums i guess? my thought is that dhes wrote it/was in charge of it#that's why he's on the cover.#kel writes most of their albums (w help from the others ofc) but dhes really wanted to try writing one & this is what came of it#most of the titles don't actually mean anything. they're just like. random words i thought dhes would use lol#but the first 3 are references to the canonverse#also i originally wanted to have dhes shirtless bc 1. symbolism of like vulnerability?#but also 2. i thought the lighting would look pretty against his skin#BUT he has a death note tattoo right there between his shoulder blades & i just.......... could not take him seriously like that so#he had to keep his clothes on
160 notes
·
View notes
Text
happy friday my loves!!!!!!!! today is the last day of my vacation (sobs) BUT it means i will hopefully have more time to write over the next few days before classes start again :3 AND!!!!!!!!!!!! i think i’m FINALLY starting to get the hsr combat !!!!!!!! i hope you all have a FAAAAABULOUS day!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a wonderful weekend ahead!!!!!!!!!!! MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#i don’t know that i like the combat more than genshin BUT i at least kinda get it now :333#when ive watched playthroughs n stuff (which is primarily how ive interacted w hsr bc i just didn’t have the time to sit down and play it)#i realize that they must have had everything veeeerryyyy automated#bc now im like ‘why are there so many buttons!!!!!’#the combat also takes kinda a long time :/// at least compared to genshin#and my fav part of genshin is that if i ever get bored fighting shit i can just like. run away#BUT!!!!!!! IM DOING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#rn i’m just trying to level everyone up too i’m not used to having so few resources HAHAHAHAHA#but it’s me and my little baby gepard against the world <3333#ANYWHO!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!#might try to get some childe writing stuff done today or tomorrow :33 yeehaw#MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAHHHH#q speaks
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think part of my problem is i lived with my best friend for two years of my life and have been searching for the same feeling of joy & acceptance & support ever since
#like I’ve sat down and had a think about it and the times I’ve felt the least lonely in the last 5+ years are when my roommates were close#friends I could pray with/laugh with/cry with/unmask with#something something you can’t keep trying to go back somewhere that doesn’t exist anymore you need to go forward#but the only way I can see myself thriving is if I can live with people/someone who feel(s) like home#and I know that can come with time and you meet new people and make new friends and settle down somewhere and slowly build yourself a life#but how do you do that without dying along the way#and I’m here in this new state and I’m trying to be content but there’s the very real possibility everything is going to change *again*#later this year and I just. I’m done I want it all to be over I want to get to find someone and commit my life to them and get to know we’r#we’re gonna figure it out together#and bitterness is so tempting right now bc unless God heals & transforms & really really surprises me#(all of which He CAN do but I just have never thought that was His desire for me); unless that happens I will probably be alone for the#rest of my life#and I can write essays on the importance of platonic friendships and how good and beautiful it is to value them but that grows weaker and#weaker the older you get the more all your friends seek marriage and find their other halves and you’re still. just. There#it’s nearly midnight and I should write a poem instead of processing in the tags of a post but really I may just go to bed#I’m so glad I have a phone call and prayer group to look forward to tomorrow#and the Bible study tonight was good <3 some things were hard about it but my soul was comforted#and I may have even more questions but at the very least right now I know God is Love#and that is the bottom line of any answer that I seek#….which I guess maybe loops back to the processing too. I know He is love I know He’s supposed to be sufficient#so what do you do when that doesn’t FEEL like enough#God I believe help my unbelief. please#elle rambles#[y]#/p
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
#acmirage#assassin's creed#assassin's creed mirage#basim ibn ishaq#i was doing this stuff when i was at middle school while I was learning photoshop stuff by myself#when i was sharing at X(twitter) i saw people making big deals out of it but i was fed up with it and didn't understand their side#didn't wanted to share other than my photos - still kinda don't want to-#one day I shared one that made with a Witcher 3 shots of mine and said that I did this etc.#they took it the wrong way like I wasn't sure about it or sharing it and doubted myself on my works - I could see it in their comments#bc they were like 'if you like it doesn't matter what others think' kinda stuff and I didn't expected them to react like that#it never felt like encouraging but more like they're trying to pull you down and make you feel less#I love everything I share either way-some of them less some of them more than others- I wouldn't share otherwise#some people always like this while they're writing or saying good things but deep down you know they actually not.#so I still see some on IG and still don't understand why people do that to the photos#and then there are people like “oh they don't have to do anything to make you feel better or they don't have to like your stuff”#why do I do it then? Because as a decent person who have conscience it's a good thing to do-like people's stuff at least#I'm not an AI person behind this accounts
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
howdy!! it's been a minute but i'm still around. fair warning-- i have been lurking the whole time and have about. 100+ posts drafted 😵 you'll be seeing these shortly, i'll try my best to space them out as i get around to tagging them
#tldr im fine it's just been a lot lately and i havent had the energy to tag anything#which!! i like being chatty in the tags and i try my best to say at least something cool about any art or fic i rb#when you're running on 0 tho.... it gets hard to keep that energy up yk???#long version: (if anyone is reading this ty but feel free to drop off at any point it's kinda heavy and just a vent)#hit the 'one more minor inconvenience and im running off into the woods forever' point about five major events ago yet we're still truckin#firstly: found out two months ago (february) that i needed 6 credits worth of college by june to keep my teaching license for next year#so accelerated online graduate courses were the only option and i have since done more work for that than my 5 year undergrad#im almost done with the second class but im so fuckin drained dude i havent been able to really draw/write or play music or sew or anything#everything i do try has either been hit with the executive dysfunction or turns out Bad enough that i get frustrated#shortly after i found out the nice old guy downstairs died my upstairs neighbor who i cared a lot about died. last week and im still waitin#to find out when the funeral is from her son. ive been taking that kinda hard since i feel like i should have checked on her#my parents are moving 17 hours cross country to move back to where we are which is nice but ive been hearing about all their stress with th#house sale on loop by this point whenever i talk to them. which fair they managed to sell the house in a week when we thought itd be months#got smacked with thousands of dollars of surprise car repairs out of nowhere to get my inspection sticker and am still trying to recover#and petty things: lost my favorite piece of clothing and broke my glasses last week while running tech week for the kids#idk man any one thing at a time i could've toughed out better its just been all at once#anyways like i said i'm still truckin and will probably delete this (or at least the tags on it) later had to get all that out somewhere#messenger pidge#if anyone did get this far down thank you for watching me yap <3 i promise im good and will be back to normal shenanigans soon hopefully
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
istg half of the post-s5 finale fics i see have some sort of disclaimer in the tags or summary (or i even just saw one in the title!!) saying the fic was written because the show sucks or the finale sucked or they just hated everything about it
and it's frustrating because i probably would have enjoyed a lot of these fics! but now i'm not even going to touch them because i don't want to engage with people shitting on the show
#miraculous ladybug#ml fandom salt#like. it's okay if you didn't like the finale#if you're disappointed or wish things happened differently#and it's great to use fic as a means of writing what you wanted to see. that's the point (or at least one of the points) of fic!#but being negative af about the finale isn't going to make people who enjoyed it want to engage with your fan-creations#and that's sad because there IS so much to explore with what the finale left us#and i bet a lot of these actual fics are not salty beyond the author's note/summary/etc...#but because some people refuse to acknowledge that the finale maybe wasn't trying to wrap up everything in a nice little bow#and have decided the show is objectively awful because of it#now i don't want to engage#and i know salt isn't new in this fandom but my god can we calm down for five seconds#kayla rants
170 notes
·
View notes
Text
Intensely Spicy Curry Training: Hypmic Curry Drama Track TL
Kuukou: Y’all sure took your sweet time getting here! I’ve already got everything prepared!
Jyushi: But didn’t you tell us to meet you at the temple?
Hitoya: If we’re making curry, why the hell are we way out in the mountains to do it?
Kuukou: Because I just had a great idea. Check this out!
Jyushi: Ooooh, look at all this meat! So, we’re going to be using all of this in our curry?
Hitoya: Beef and chicken, huh? I guess it would make sense not cook these while inside your temple.
Kuukou: You’re half right, and half wrong.
Jyushi: What do you mean?
Kuukou: I don’t plan to make just any ol’ curry. Now it’s time for the both of y’all to mince the hell out of this meat!!
Hitoya: I didn’t know whether to expect if a corrupt little monk such as yourself knew how to cook, but I’m surprised. Instead of using something pre-made, if we pound and mince the meat ourselves, we’d get a far more superior product. Is that what you were thinking?
Jyushi: Oh, I see! That’s amazing, Kuukou-san!
Hitoya: So, where’d you put the food processor?
Kuukou: Ah?? The hell are you on? You’re grinding this meat with your bare hands.
Jyushi: …Eh?
Kuukou: Jyushi, you’re on beef! Hitoya, you’re taking the chicken! Punch it with everything you’ve got and make minced meat out of it!! This is a new training session I thought up!
Hitoya: What the hell is this fool saying??
Jyushi: B-But there’s so much meat!! Grinding it by hand is impossible!!
Kuukou: I don’t want to hear any complaints!! You don’t know that unless you try!
Jyushi & Hitoya: *reluctantly pounds the meat by hand*
Jyushi: *tearfully* …My body’s going to become minced meat before the actual beef!
Hitoya: Damn it, I can’t believe I let my guard down like this…! I shouldn’t have expected we’d simply make curry…!
Kuukou: You can’t expect to get anywhere with a weak spirit behind weak fists like that!! Lemme show you how it’s done!
Kuukou: *starts punching*
Hitoya: You bastard, those are vegetables!!
Jyushi: E-Even I could mince a tomato by hand!
Kuukou: It doesn’t matter either way!! Whether it’s vegetables or meat, all that matters is the heart you’re putting behind it!!
Jyushi: T-That doesn’t make any sense…!!
Kuukou: “Enlightenment can be attained through one thousand fists!” Don’t just keep yapping and put some energy into your hips and legs too!
Hitoya: Tch, I don’t see any way out of this… Then, I might as well get it over with…!! UWOOOOOOOOOAAAARRRRGHHHH!!!!!!!! *maximum effort punching*
Jyushi: H-Hitoya-san??
Kuukou: Hyahaha! There’s the effort I wanna see!
Jyushi: Guh… Because My God has unshackled the chains binding his true power, I, too, must unlock mine to continue alongside him…! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!! *maximum effort punching*
-------------------------
Jyushi: I-I can’t move another inch…
Hitoya: Ugh… I can’t even take the cap off my water bottle…
Kuukou: *sighs* It’s pretty pathetic to be that exhausted just from cooking.
Hitoya: You…!!!
Jyushi: But, I think it would be really nice if our training efforts could be felt by those eating our curry…!
Hitoya: …Well, I don’t think I’d say it like that, but I agree with the sentiment.
*the trees rustle and the birds chirp and there is peace*
Kuukou: The fuck are y’all talking about? There’s no point to this if the people who eating aren’t going through training too.
Jyushi: Eh?
Kuukou: Training can only be felt when you grow from the trials you’ve experienced yourself. Hopping off from other people’s efforts won’t mean shit.
Jyushi: B-but I mean, we’ll still be serving the curry to others once it’s finished cooking, right?
Kuukou: Yup. Which is why I’ve got…!
Hitoya: UWAH!! MY EYES!! IT’S IN MY EYES!!
Jyushi: That powder…!!
Hitoya: It’s red chili pepper!! Jyushi, run!! Move upwind so it doesn’t blow and stick to your mucous membrane!!
Jyushi: Eeek!!! *runs away sobbing*
Kuukou: HYAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Hitoya: Kuukou, you bastard, what are you doing? Are you trying to ruin everything we worked on??
Kuukou: I’m not ruining a damn thing! This curry will be spicy so I can provide a remote kind of training!
Hitoya: Stop fucking around!! There’s gotta be a limit!!
Jyushi: *runs back over* I think there’s more chili pepper powder than ingredients now…!!
Kuukou: Then it’s just right! Now try it.
Jyushi: NO!! I will not be eating!! I absolutely refuse!! Don’t even try me!!
Kuukou: Hey stupid, watch it, that’s dangerous!! Stop fighting me and just—Ahh??
Jyushi: T-The inside of the pot is pitch black……!!
Hitoya: Obviously. Chili peppers burn easily. Haah… Let’s just remake the curry.
Jyushi: But doesn’t that mean we’ll have to mince more meat??
Kuukou: Whatever, I was thinking our “Intensely Spicy Curry Training” was made too halfheartedly anyway!! Time to give it all I got and win this championship!!
#kuko harai#jyushi aimono#hitoya amaguni#bad ass temple#hypmic#hypnosis mic#til that you can make a meat paste at the very least by using a mortar and pestle LOL#the curry pissed me tf off lmao it was so spicy but underneath all that spice was a ridiculously flavourful curry#it's spicy enough that i can tell it's comfortably spicy for people used to eating spice tho!!#habenero is the worst experience with spice i ever had and it wasn't that bad lol but i got the sense it could have been#so i assume jyushi and hitoya talked kuukou down lmao or we didn't want a repeat burnt product lol#i decided to tone down how i usually write bat to try and not show my very obvious bias lol hopefully it worked#i remember slug mentioning sometimes a tl will come off vague in order to not get in the way of future developments#and i actually felt that tling this lmao like when hitoya was telling kuukou there's a limit for everything#i had to choose whether to make this about kuukou and training or kuukou and the chili peppers#the statement itself was a vague warning so my own interpretations of bat were getting in the way probably lol#statements without a clear subject usually default to the person speaking so kuukou saying give it everything and win the championship#is me assuming he's talking about himself and again i'm a little worried my own interpretations of bat are getting in the way#since kuukou's self reliance is blatant but also not if you're casually looking at bat SO IDK LOL I THINK TLING IS HARD#curry tl
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
“I have this scene in my head for my fic that I really love but i don’t feel like writing all of the other stuff to get to it.”
I see this comment like 5 times a day in fic writing spaces lol
a scene that you don’t want to write is a scene you don’t want to read. don’t write stuff you don’t want to read.
me, personally: wait until the scenes that get you to that first initial scene you were excited about are just as interesting as that scene too. it won’t be the first, second, or third thing you think of. if u have a scene you really want to write, write that, and keep writing only those exciting scenes that come to you. eventually you have a million interesting scenes for your fic and they become puzzle pieces for you to arrange and then eventually the strings come together and you realize you really do have an interesting way to get to that original scene, and you’re just as excited to write it, if you haven’t already written it when you were brainstorming other scenes earlier in the writing process that you didn’t even realize could carry your story like that.
#My process is 1) write the initial scene — the first one I thought of that inspired the fic#2) daydream (preferably to a custom playlist) and write ONLY THE DIALOGUE that I like from my daydreams#3) discover common threads while daydreaming and thus discover a theme#4) now that I have my theme; my favorite dialogue lines; and my inspiration scene I begin drafting#Drafting includes writing around the dialogue and filling in the gaps with action#I find that dialogue drives my plot usually but I’m trying to get better at throwing chaotic events at my characters#and forcing them to respond to circumstances beyond their control/beyond the consequences of their choices#Drafting is also the point where I start writing only the exciting stuff and stringing it all together like a lunatic#5) once you have enough scenes to string together and you’ve put the puzzle together: reread and revise#6) put it down and don’t touch it dont think about it don’t do anything to it for like at least 3 days to 1 week#7) reread with fresh eyes and revise again#8) repeat steps 6 and 7 until you have desired fic#Sometimes if I really don’t like the way a story is working though I’ll play around with scenes#like “what if I remove this scene? How does that affect things? Is this a loadbearing scene in the story or is it superfluous?”#“What if I delete chapters 5-15 and just totally rewrite everything in that space”#that one is a rough one to go through and is the reason why I have some fics that have never seen the light of day 😂#this is all coming from pre-2021 ghostlycod#back when I was in the marvel fandom and writing 100k self insert OC fanfics#14-18 year old me wrote like an Ancient Greek poet#pure genius masterpieces with masterclass articulation#and idk what happened but it’s like at 25 I’ve suddenly gone brain dead#I envy 14 year old me so much when I’m writing now#That girl was just humming along to Lorde on repeat creating multiple full length novels at the same time all written with English Premium
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
a character's self-deprication being what keeps them from being in a relationship can be really good but mostly when the self deprication is 1. justified and 2. only no longer an issue because their significant other is Into whatever they're angsting about
#random thoughts#writing ref#like 'i can't be with them because i've committed horrible atrocities and know only violence' and the SO is like 👀👀👀 please murder me#or like. one i really like is a dude who's like a hardcore submissive. can't get off any other way.#and he's just kind of assuming he'll be alone forever because yknow gender roles and whatnot#figures at best he'll have a sexless marriage#and then he meets the world's bitchiest woman <3#this is what i imagine clark kent and lois lane are like btw#idk. something about a big fat man. brick shithouse of a fella. being dominated by a very angry pixie woman#plus typically with that kind of setup the big reveal would be the woman *letting her guard down* and *submitting*#but i really like the idea of her letting her emotional walls down enough to let this man submit for her. to have someone reliant on her#like she's a business woman who's all work because she's been constantly disappointed in her dating life#because people try to ~get to know her~ and get her to ~let her guard down~ but like sorry she's just like this#she's the kind of woman who plays stardew valley with spreadsheets. runs that farm like the navy#she likes being in charge!!!#god the more i think about these two they're just becoming more and more autistic#they both like structure because the guy likes not making decisions and the gal doesn't like surprises#like the guy doesn't like making decisions on the spot and likes being guided through stuff#and he likes knowing that if he DOES do something wrong then there's a guarunteed result (safeword) which tells him to stop and change#and the gal likes being in control and hates surprises because it means she has to think up what to do on the fly with no data#she likes planning things and scenes make it so everything can go smoothly#she makes like. worldbuilding for her roleplay scenes. has a lore bible#both of them have to communicate effectively!!! NO ROOM FOR MISCOMMUNICATION#kink negotiation scene where they're both dressed in office casual. sitting at a table. they shake hands afterwards shksjakaka#i think they're like. i don't think they're dating. at least not yet#they're living together and having sex on a regular basis and would probably get married but i don't think they're dating#they don't kiss. i don't think she likes kissing on the mouth#they're like. best friends who fuck. queerplatonic. can people in queerplatonic relationships fuck?#god this got away from me
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
currently re-outlining all of act 2 of oimw and then i'll get started back on the intermissions i prommy
#shut up az#oimw#i wanted to try a new pacing style i just invented#(/exaggeration)#idk if the pacing is weird in act 2 lmk but i just wanted to reorganize in a way that makes the romance take up more space#like not a ton but at least as much as it did in act 1#the original outline for act 2 was basically just like they'd already be together if stuff would stop happening so what's the point#now though it's more an actual subplot#which i LIKE#anyway if anyone wants to talk about my very OCD way of outlining and writing i am always down to talk about it#and like i mean that literally i don't have OCD but my old therapist said complex ptsd often has ocd-esque symptoms and boy howdy#when i outline everything is done by threes. actually when i write everything is ALSO done by threes.#just like i used to wash my hands...
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Second day of moving... done!!! And now all my furniture is in my new apartment!!! I still have a lot to do with rearranging things and sorting thru boxes and unpacking. And also going back to my old apartment to Finish packing and moving everything I didnt get to before. But it's already been pretty nice staying in the new apartment. I got the internet set up today, and it's working great! Also went to the grocery to pick up a few more essentials. Let the cats out finally, and they've been having A Time poking around and being SoScared. But they seem to be relaxing, bit by bit. Hoping they'll come sleep on my bed with me, rather than just coming and visiting.
Tomorrow, I wanna finish arranging my furniture and take a trip to my old apartment to do a carload of packing and moving boxes. Gotta pick up some more boxes first, but that's no big deal. Also wanna look for a new shower head while im there. Idk if I'll buy one yet, but I took my first shower at the new apartment today, and while I love the shower itself, I do NOT like the shower head. It's like... got a weird empty spot right in the middle??? It seems like a shower head for tall people. Not for me. But ive already been told that I can change out the shower head if I like, so I wanna see what stuff they've got at home depot...
I also wanna go bowling. It's been nearly a week. And ive been so busy and stressed. I deserve a bowling trip. Assuming my body doesnt hurt too much tomorrow for it 😂😂
#speculation nation#theres like a billion and one things to do with moving. while furniture moving is the most brutal and intensive thing#it is nowhere near the most time consuming of it all. assuming u have help for it and all.#in addition to all the stuff i listed up there. i also wanna thoroughly clean all of my furniture too#dust it. sanitize it. vacuum. carpet cleaner it (for the fabric things).#i let my apartment get to a pretty awful state before and it shows on my furniture.#already did some vacuuming for the worst of it. like the fuckin. spider egg sacks on the bottom of some furniture pieces...#no spider eggs on my furniture Now thank u... i will be vacuuming regularly and getting into all the nooks n crannies#oh yeah i also wanna vacuum my whole apartment. had to have ppl with shoes on in here for moving stuff#bc it rly isnt reasonable to ask them to take off their shoes in the middle of carrying furniture in#especially since theyre doing such a big favor for me. also foot safety with moving big things around lol#so i sucked it up. but i REALLY wanna keep my apartment shoes-free for the most part#so im gonna vacuum the floor too. maybe use the carpet cleaner on the most traveled areas. idk.#the thing about the carpet cleaner tho is that it's just the little hand-held brush thing. small area.#so anything i clean with it is very hands-on. which makes cleaning big areas Hard.#but it may be worth it for some things. at the very least im gonna carpet clean my rugs i brought over.#i did vacuum them but im gonna vacuum them again and then carpet clean them bc they got ROUGH back there#theyre the big rugs so i cant just toss them in the wash. but they got dust in them still. i saw it when i plopped them down.#winced at the lil cloud of dust that came off them. and that's AFTER i vacuumed them thoroughly back b4 moving tjem#*them. they r just so so dusty. everything in that apartment was.#but i can already feel the difference being here. with the dust. and the clarity of my brain.#still so tired so im not doing any brain stuffs tonight. but it has me hopeful for the future.#still got So Much to get done. but once things calm down... then yeah#i may be regaining my ability to write with relative ease. pls pls pls pls pls.#wouldnt it be crazy if the reason i went from writing 70k words in 3 weeks to like barely breaking 30k in a Year#is bc of the Fucking Dust. and a previously unidentified allergy. which would explain why my ability to focus on writing got worse and worse#shrug. im hopeful!! gonna try my best. still gotta get my apartment all in order first tho. 🙏🙏🙏
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#vent post#vent blogging#Seven’s Public Diary#motivating myself to study for my driver’s permit by thinking of the Freedom and independence a license would grant me? ❌ 1/10 ineffective#motivating myself to study for my driver’s permit by imagining all the new & different possible ways i could become injured in a car crash?#✅ 7/10 it just might fucking work!!!#the only true cure for OCD is to face one’s fears. but i just might be able to find a loophole via my ever-worsening mental health#because you don’t have to Face your fears if you don’t Have any fears#and in order to rid myself of my fears regarding harm coming to myself. i simply have to stop fearing being harmed#and what better way to stop fearing it than to actively crave it!#or at the very least become so overwhelmed that i lose the capacity to feel any particular way about it#i’ve found a new OCD cure everybody - Just Stop Caring™️ /sarc#well. sarcastic or joking for everyone else. but im serious when it applies to me#bc so much of my anxiety comes from feeling unsafe. so i just have to reach the point where i stop caring if im safe or not. easy peasy#like yes i know this is flawed and unhealthy logic but i’ve resisted more compulsions via this method lately than i have via anything else#and even outside of OCD stuff even just for all my other anxiety disorders it’s also worked. im actually making a modicum of progress now#need to make a scary phone call? just get into a 3-hour family argument and then you’ll be so upset that you don’t feel fear! :)#genuinely worked very well. scared of a home invasion? well at least it’d mean you’d have some different company for once!#you might make a new friend! or if they **** you at least you’d have some Real trauma for once. it’s a win-win honestly …/hj#so. scared to drive? well even if you Do crash at least it might lead to a hospital visit and then you’ll finally get that attention you-#-want so fucking badly! you’ll finally get a break from everything while you recover. or even if you don’t survive- well. i shan’t say.#anyways. the ‘you’ in those tags is me talking to myself for the record. i wouldn’t speak to anyone else like this. i just speak in the-#-wrong tense/person sometimes. don’t know what’s up with that. just another reason i need to stop speaking altogether. as i’ve learned#i’ve been trying So fucking hard to be nice lately. letting them walk all over me. and it’s still not enough. cause i’m always-#-‘using the wrong tone’ and ‘if all im gonna do is say smthn negative i just shouldn’t speak at all’ ..okay! gladly!!!#sorry for being autistic and unsocialized and under immense stress and being unable to keep my ‘tone’ under control. my bad.#i just need to get blackout drunk with Venti at Angel’s Share. that would fix me.#that or heading down to the bottom of the Fortress of Meropide and curl up like a dog under Wriothesley’s desk. head empty no thoughts#not sexually. just. in a pet-regression sense. i can’t stop thinking abt it. i wanna write a oneshot for it but i can’t focus these days#anyways. the delusional maladaptive daydream dissociation will continue until morale improves. and brother it’s only getting worse.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's a lot of things I wanna improve with my art IN THEORY but at some point I got so tired of trying and "failing" to learn certain skills that the mere thought of actually DOING it makes me wanna throw my drawing tablet against the wall. I need to fix that
#isa barks#like i want to learn how to draw environments and improve my rendering and texture and all of that#but i'm so terrified of any perceived failure that i feel like i can't leave my comfort zone anymore#even tho when i was younger i was much more willing to at least try doing an environment or scene or something#even if it didn't turn out exactly how i wanted it#and i know it helped me improve! there's a few older pieces that i looks back on and am still very proud of!#but i just don't do that anymore. i'm sticking to just character drawings and it's not really helping#i think part of it too is feeling like i don't have the time or energy to put into it#the idea of drawing a big piece with a background more complex than a gradient with a few shapes feels like too much right now#i wanna have fun and broaden my horizons but if i take too long my brain will start hating everything abt it#i feel like that happens with my writing too in a way. and writing always takes a long time for me so#anyway. yeah#eventually i want to take some time and find a resource for learning these sorts of things that's easy enough for me to understand#and actually sit down and practice stuff and study artists i admire and like. actually learn new things#i just wish i wasn't so exhausted all the time
3 notes
·
View notes