#trying to be proactive in my mental health this year

[prairiepoppy]

I made an upbeat playlist for cleaning and stuff. ✿ ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

[thehardkandy]

nothing makes me feel old quite like having a phone call with my dad about setting up a first time home buyers account and long term disability insurance and paying into my tfsa. i am genuinely glad though that my dad deals with this stuff for a living so i can generally trust whatever the hell he has to say on the matter

[7ndipity]

Their S/o Has Depression

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How they would respond to their S/o having depression(or having had depression in the past)

Warnings: mentions of depressive episodes, not proofread

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anon who requested this! I’ve actually thought about writing something about this several times, as it’s something I’ve dealt with for many years, but wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.

Reminder to anyone who needs to hear it that you are loved, you will be okay eventually, but it’s okay to not be okay right now. If you need anyone to talk/vent to, I’m here for you💜

Masterlist

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Jin: He would probably be really quiet when you first tell him, just trying to understand and take everything in. Tries to pay closer attention to your moods, and handles you a little softer on the days when you need it. He does his absolute most to make you smile everyday, even if it’s just for a second. He knows it doesn’t make the darkness go away, but sometimes those little moments of light are enough to get you through.

Yoongi: He’s also had his share of struggles with this in the past, so I feel like he might have picked up on some cues, but waited for you to bring it up when you were ready. He tries to subtly look out for you without being overbearing, checking in throughout the day and helping out where he can. Understands that some days you just need to be quiet and ride out the storm, so he’ll just lay with you, keeping a hand out for you to grab if you need it.

Hobi: It would hurt his heart so much to know you’ve gone through/are going through that kind of pain, but he would be so grateful that you trusted him enough to share your struggles with him. If it’s ongoing, he would be super attentive to your moods, trying to help out and support you in little ways wherever he can, whether that’s doing the dishes, making sure you’re eating properly, or just showing you funny videos he found online to make you laugh.

Namjoon: He’s been rather open about his own struggles with depression, so I think he’d be very understanding and sympathetic when you tell him. Very proactive about talking through whatever it is you’re feeling, even if you think it’s stupid or unimportant. Tries to get you to go out or take walks with him on better days, just to make sure you get some fresh air and sunlight regularly, and help make sure you're looking after your physical health as well as your mental.

Jimin: It would break his heart to realize that you struggled/are struggling with this, but his sole focus would become how to help/comfort you. He’s really empathetic, so he would pick up on every little shift in your moods. He understands that sometimes you just need to be reminded that you’re not alone, so he’ll just wrap himself around you on days when you can’t do much, holding you together till you can put the pieces back yourself.

Taehyung: As sad as he is to find out about your struggles, I feel like he’s really good at normalizing things like this without being dismissive, checking in with a number system or smth so you don’t have to talk if you don’t wanna(10’s good, 1’s bad) Has a way of saying the most comforting things in the simplest way(like when he reminded that one fan that she was already a good daughter just by existing). Will lay in bed with you on low days, talking about whatever comes to mind just to help distract you.

Jungkook: As soon as you tell him, he goes into protector mode. He can struggle sometimes to find the right words, so he tends to express his care more through actions. If you can’t bring yourself to clean your apartment, he’ll do it for you(while commentating to you as if it’s a talk show). If you need to just sleep, he’ll curl up with you and keep you safe. The type you can call at 2am cause you don’t wanna be alone, and he’s got his shoes on and out the door before you’ve finished talking.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[onlycosmere]

Questioner: The Stormlight Archive deals with mental health significantly. Are you telling a story of overcoming mental health and its difficulties, or are you telling a story of ongoing...

Brandon Sanderson: I am telling a story about characters that I want to be as real to my lived experience as possible. So the story of the Stormlight Archive, what is it about? It is not about mental health. It is about people, but a disproportionate number of them do struggle with kind of dynamic mental health issues.

Mental health is one of these things where there’s always individual answers. If we talk about my wife Emily, there is no cure for depression. Even medication is about managing depression.

For her, the right answer is cognitive behavioral therapy and learning what it is to live with depression, and then countering that proactively in her mind, at least for her. That is the answer that she has found that works very well for her.

Other people might be able to… I have had a family member who had depressive episodes that lasted a number of years. And they, through therapy, were able to get to where they no longer would be considered having depression, because for them it was a different sort of thing.

And these are two explorations of what we would lump as the same sort of mental health issue. But is it even? Everyone is so individual, right?

For the vast majority of people struggling with mental health issues, it is more like Emily than it is like this family member that it was about overcoming it. I consider it to the individual, that the story I’m telling about. I will use the example of the difference between (for physical handicaps) Rysn and Lopen. For Lopen, the story is: there’s going to be a cure, and I have been cured. For Rysn, there is no cure, and it’s about, instead, living with the disability. Overcoming the disability, yes, but it always being part of who she is.

And those are two life experiences that we can find people in this room who have probably... Some are continuing to live with a handicap, and others have found that there is some way to just completely get over. And that’s an individual thing.

And I’m not trying to say in the Stormlight Archive, “This is the right path.” Except for the right path being: getting help is okay. Working on it’s okay. And society should maybe do a better job about understanding it.

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

year in review

one thing i did this past year was set my "win condition" for daily habit resolutions at 183 days in the year, because if you do something on 183 days in a year, that means you technically did it most of the time. i found this really motivational because it meant everything counted but there was also a lot of room for slack, and i feel like even for the resolutions i did not do so hot on that style of tracking gave me information and helped me think about what i really want out of that habit. so i am definitely planning to repeat it this year! as for the actual daily resolutions, they kind of fell into four categories.

nailed it

spend some time with some art: 232 days

work out: 216 days 💪🏼

drink at least 64 ounces of water: 277 days

pretty good

log my little habits & other trackables: 189 days

don't go on the internet before noon: 189 days (but see earlier posting about how i don't really feel like that addressed what i wanted it to address)

nice try

write out a plan for my day: 164 days

make something with words or with my hands: 153 days

get my room back into its baseline acceptable condition: 135 days

abject failures

meditate (147 days), journal (116 days), yoga (69 days) - yoga i just never found a place in my routine for this year but the other two i'm putting into this category even their numbers are not that high because i actually started off pretty strong and then just fully stopped around the beginning of september because life was hard. then like a month later i started having a mental breakdown where i couldn't stop crying and/or thinking about death. coincidence? you decide! (it's almost definitely not.)

i also had some goals to accomplish for the end of the, areas i wanted to make progress in without a specific endpoint, & vibes to cultivate, with mixed results:

memorize at least one (1) keyword/phrase for each tarot card - lol no

listen to sondheim's full body of work in chronological order - lol no

finish all unread books in my room - lol no

get my apartment into a state that would be okay for guests - lol no

post all WIPs - partial credit! i had a very ambitious count of 12 in mind when i made this resolution; i wound up posting 5 and a half, one of which was for & event and not on the list. idk i feel good about this tbh, especially since i did post everything that already had a substantial amount of writing in gdocs when i started the year (so, like, really all True WIPs rather than WIPs + various half-baked notions) and i like pretty much every fic i posted a lot.

up my walking till i'm regularly hitting 70k a week - i didn't put this one in my app for some reason and i am definitely too lazy to go through 12 months of notebooks but a glance at my apple health app suggests... sure? kinda? definitely for a while and then i got sick and then it got cold and dark and less so since then?

make progress towards figuring out routines that serve me: i... think so, yes? i spent a lot of this year, especially the spring and summer, just feeling sooooo dysregulated physically and fatigue-embattled and so on and so forth, and although my sleep cycle at the moment is not ideal, i am not, like, beset every day by the challenge of having a physical body anymore. i don't have one single daily routine i swear by, which is what i always fantasize about even though i know i would inevitably get bored of it and reject it (cap sun / sag stellium problems........), but i have some mini-routines i feel like i can call on, and i also have a set of meals that are boring but easy and reliable to eat basically every day so that i am not spending all of my disposable income on take-out anymore, and i also definitely now think of myself as A Person Who Works Out, so.... yes. i'm gonna say yes.

figure out a way to tackle my gigantic and ever-increasing Backlog Of Tasks: lmao no. not even a little bit.

make progress towards feeling more connected: i think so on this one, too. my most socially proactive friend moved out of the country for six months this spring and as the date of her departure was approaching i realized that i could either watch my social calendar virtually disappear for half a year or i could Try Harder, and then i did try a little bit harder and it went pretty okay. as much as part of me really wanted to, i did not drop my efforts during my extremely busy september/october, either. so.... yeah!

make progress towards fiscal responsibility: yeah. not, like, in leaps and bounds or anything, but i am definitely 3000% less stressed about money than i was a year ago.

stop treating everything like an emergency: hmmmm. i think i did well on this one for things that i can or should or need to take action on, but not so well for things i actually can't - like, i've gotten better at reminding myself that it, whatever it is, isn't fucking brain surgery, and in the worst case scenario life goes on, but i am still prone to the occasional despairing google spiral where i "research" some issue lying to myself that i am gathering important information but knowing deep inside i'm not planning to act on any of it at the moment and therefore really i am just feeding my own anxiety about it. partial credit.

don't push unless i have to: you know what? i think yeah. i mean, work in progress, but - yeah.

be proactive about looking for the stuff that makes me be alive: partial credit.

make more stuff, see more people, experience more art, have more fun: in order, maybe not strictly speaking "more" but between the amount i wrote and getting back into knitting i feel pretty happy about it; yes; probably?; definitely

fuck temperance: not as much as i maybe wanted to, but often enough to be glad when i did

i'm gonna come back on a full resolutions post later i think, maybe tonight maybe not (don't push unless i have to), but some current thoughts on this review:

keeping unedited; the 183 day goal (although i guess since we're in a leap year technically it should be 84, lol) in general; the daily habits of art, working out, drinking water, logging my little habits

i'm debating whether to keep planning my day as a habit or not. i feel like i've sort of internalized enough of a daily structure that some days it's helpful but other days i can just kind of jump into things and not feel like i missed something (today, for example, i've been toggling between work stuff and other goals, including sitting down to write this post, and it's felt pretty seamless)

internet: still thinking of a good way to phrase this. might just go with "make good internet choices" with the option to redefine or be more formal about "good internet choices" if i feel the need

making stuff: debating whether to keep unedited or now that i have gotten into knitting and definitely WILL be doing it pretty much anytime i'm watching something, do a teeny tiny daily writing resolution, like 100 words a day (or "100 words OR time spent doing actual research for something e.g. rewatching [redacted] for the sake of this newsletter i'm drafting")

room: i think i'm gonna keep this one, which lives in my app as "room maintenance," but mentally redefine it to EITHER re-setting my room to its zero position OR spending 20 minutes making progress towards that to disincentivize my current practice of leaving any messes i can't take care of in 20 minutes until i feel like i have a whole day to work on them

meditating, journaling, yoga, aka the self-care shit: i think i'm gonna swap meditating & yoga for mindfulness & mobility. so, like, one (1) yoga video, done while nothing else is playing and containing some degree of stretchiness, would get me a checkmark for both of those things, but i could also achieve both of them by doing, like, three minutes of silent deep breathing + stretching or foam rolling or one of those pilates butt workouts that always helps my back while watching TV or listening to a podcast or whatever. journaling... debating about this one but almost definitely planning to switch to digital journaling of some kind. the therapeutic value of handwritten journaling is real but it's clearly not something i'm up for at this period of my life lol. beyond that might keep it as journaling but just switch the mode, might split it up into reflection & recording, which are the two things i want out of journaling (the latter of which traditional journaling is actually terrible for for me because my handwriting is so bad i never reread my old entries) but could theoretically be accomplished by, like, a tarot pull + a social media post relating to the book or movie or whatever i'm reading. (i said i was gonna bring back blogging this year with my yearly personal tag and then i used it all of twice lol. BUT THIS YEAR I MEAN IT!!!)

walking: definitely gonna put this one in the app lol and also might switch to a monthly goal? i saw someone say that and it seemed crazy but then i was like, well it's true that if i get my period on a saturday and i haven't been going crazy with steps that week i'm basically done..... lol

it's been funny seeing posts all over the place encouraging "fun" new year's resolutions because those were the ones i failed the hardest at! lmao. clearly setting "do this by the end of the year" is not a productive framework for me personally. i will probably take some of my failed year-long resolutions from 2023 and make, like, a funsies list & a serious list, and then set a daily habit goal like "chip away a little at one fun project & one serious project"

the elephant in the room of my brain is, do i want to set some kind of numerical goal regarding Getting Out Of The House And/Or Spending Time With Human Persons? it feels intimating and scary and hard but also less so than it would have had i considered it before my friend moved out of the country. so....... maybe? idk.

similarly, debating if i do want to set some kind of goal regarding how much writing i accomplish, or if doing 100 words a day is enough since the hardest part of writing is absolutely just sitting down and fucking doing it. lol.

also considering a reading goal? that can but doesn't necessarily always count towards the art goal? hmmmm.

[banamine-bananime]

preface: i was writing a list of my headcanons for funsies and got completely derailed with angsty grimmons shit that needs to be scooped out of that post because it’s stupid long. so here

grif worked in honolulu a couple years after hs graduation until kai was old enough (17) he felt he could leave. did a year at university before realizing he’s smart enough to be admitted to cornell but not to get the scholarship he realistically needs to not be in crushing debt on graduation, and also there’s not nearly enough regimentation to college life to prevent him from rotting in bed paralyzed by “oh my god i don’t have Responsibilities That Need To Be Done Right Now for the first time in forever and idk what to do now” and executive dysfunction. went through basic and stationed on the doomed outpost. That Whole Thing (a polite way of saying “sneaking off for a nap on duty, sleeping through a massacre, and waking up to find literally everyone else dead”) was the nail in the coffin that pretty much shot his last shred of motivation and hope to shit, and based on his behaviour and psych eval afterwards (best summarized as “learned helplessness that everything is shit always and he’s useless and never gonna be able to help anyone so 👍 fuck everything fuck everyone just try to eke some hedonistic joy out of life before you die”) he was reassigned to the sim soldiers.

meanwhile simmons tried to do university several times and had to drop out for mental health reasons (a very polite way of putting “rapid spiral into absolute disaster every time”. it leaves room for giving him the benefit of the doubt that this was a proactive “ah i should take care of myself and this is not working for me :) #selfcare #therapy” decision. this is not benefit of the doubt that anyone who knows him would extend.).

I go back and forth on whether to roll with the “that one throwaway line with a suspiciously specific hypothetical of being in a unit that was stranded and had to eat their dog to survive” thing or just say he was assigned straight to sim troopers. on the one hand, i really love grif and simmons having a parallel immensely traumatic first assignment that made them both Worse in kinda similar kinda opposite ways in line with the ways they were each already fucked up

(grif “life is inherently a garbage fire. i am useless. all i can do is look out for myself and save my own hide by absolute never trusting any authority, refusing to get attached to the other fuckers around here (they’d hate me anyways so just let them hate me), and obsessively hoarding any access to food and shelter and comfort because Maslow said I can’t work on health or belonging or esteem until i do :/ yeah i know, sorry, i’ve got a doctor’s note from him right here.” vs simmons “my life is a garbage fire probably because everyone around me is an idiot fucking something up but also because i’m not trying hard enough. i’m sure if i keep Performing The Maladaptive Behaviours even harder they will work and i THEN will feel respected and powerful and loved. you see you just have to keep repressing every feeling so you can suck up to anyone you detect a whiff of Authority Figure on no matter how little you actually respect them, and follow EVERY RULE and work and work and work. and you had better abandon any compunctions about things like eating a dog you loved or backstabbing a friend for brownie points from the CO who hates him or Literally Murdering your CO for a promotion. and if you ever stop desperately trying, fighting dirty looking out just for yourself, and instead just sit still for a moment and enjoy sincere zero-ulterior-motives connections with people, you will probably definitely immediately die of starvation or exposure (it is a metaphor you see. of exposure to the elements while stranded without resources. for the agonizing exposure of allowing yourself to be known.)”)

on the other hand i’m like whoa now. this boy’s got enough problems we really don’t need to be giving him any more or we’re really never gonna pry him free of the woobiefication fics.

[prosewithpurpose]

Ozempic: Dying To Be Thin

I have recently been following a few stories and commentators as they have reported on the side effects of Ozempic. My typical literary niche is mental health, inspiration and motivation for self-development. While I don’t follow the latest trends in any area I had followed the Ozempic one for some reason.

I think the part that interested me the most was many of the people who interviewed were willing to buy the drug on the black market, unverified websites and the like. Don’t read what I’m not writing I think it’s important not to point fingers but to have a holistic view of the Ozempic side effects issue.

As I researched the stories I found most of the cases were in the United States and the UK. In the ever-evolving landscape of healthcare, understanding the implications of medications is paramount. Most people are aware who follow Ozempic know it’s used for type 2 diabetes.

It gained prominence for weight loss in the last few years. I reviewed some history and current lawsuits due to the side effects. I was not aware that the side effects can affect vital organs and cause other unsettling concerns. Some may not be aware that drugs can be researched and more information can be reviewed on the FDA’s website.

Another thing that consumers can do is explore if there are current lawsuits or recalls on drugs before they start taking them. I know most people trust their health care professional but we should do our due diligence as well.

Ozempic, a member of the glucagon-like peptide-1 (GLP-1) receptor agonist class, plays a pivotal role in regulating blood sugar levels. However, like many pharmaceutical interventions, its therapeutic benefits are accompanied by a spectrum of potential side effects. These side effects vary in intensity and occurrence, impacting individuals in diverse ways.

I’m a therapist, not a physician or a nurse. I have treated many clients who struggle with weight loss or menopausal weight gain. Most of the clients I have served have found it difficult to lose weight as they have gotten older.

I have referred them to their primary care doctor. With that said some people want a quick fix for whatever reason and I can see the frustration and all the concerns that go with trying to lose weight and obtain wellness.

My concern with the latest trend of those on Ozempic is the side effects and the those that may not be informed enough on those who are dying as a result of using Ozempic or the generic form of it.

Commonly reported side effects of Ozempic encompass gastrointestinal disturbances, with nausea and diarrhea being prevalent among users. These effects are often transient, diminishing over time as the body adjusts to the medication. Concurrently, injection site reactions, another common occurrence, may manifest as redness, swelling, or itching.

While these side effects are generally considered mild, their prevalence underscores the importance of patient awareness and proactive management. As I listened to story after story most of the people had other chronic illnesses as well.

Beyond the scope of common side effects lie more serious complications that demand heightened attention. Instances of pancreatitis, though rare, have been associated with the use of Ozempic. Pancreatitis, characterized by inflammation of the pancreas, necessitates immediate medical intervention and underscores the need for vigilant monitoring during Ozempic therapy.

Additionally, concerns have been raised regarding the potential association between Ozempic and thyroid tumors. Though the risk is deemed low, healthcare practitioners and users alike must remain vigilant, emphasizing the importance of regular health check-ups and communication between patients and their healthcare providers.

It is essential to recognize the symbiotic relationship between healthcare education and the communication of potential side effects. In the digital age, individuals often turn to search engines for health-related information.

I will say most of what I found were researchers on YouTube and science journals that are talking about the side effects of Ozempic a little more now. Thus, effective communication becomes a conduit for informed decision-making. Utilizing search engine optimization (SEO) strategies ensures that information about Ozempic’s side effects is readily accessible to those seeking it.

I’m a news buff and enjoy all things science and this story was disturbing because people were and are dying from one thing but the root cause was from taking Ozempic. I hope people will do their due diligence so not one more person has to die to be thin.

For those who may be interested in strategic keyword integration, such as “Ozempic side effects” or “Ozempic complications,” the dissemination of valuable information becomes more efficient and widespread.

Thank you for reading

Be Well!

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

at.tumblr.||com/lily-orchard/toh-fans-were-saying-luzs- || depression-arc-was/n15gs2tejahh (link broken up because tumblr and anon messages)

God the way she and that anon talk about Luz here… zero fucking compassion. “Luz doesn’t learn the lesson she’s clearly supposed to learn!” Bitch yeah she doesn’t. Because she’s a self-loathing fourteen year old girl who is still afraid everyone in her life will hate her.

They both criticize the other members of her cast for “bending over backwards for Luz” because clearly, if your loved one is pushing everyone away because she thinks she should be hated the right response is… to hate her for it? Like i get that you should not be expected to support someone else’s entire mental health, but wow. What the fuck.

It also rubs me the wrong way because of things i have personally experienced. I struggle with my mental health, and Luz’s pushing away everyone and trying to punish herself very much is realistic. I did the same thing, including trying to get out of celebrating my own birthday and considering skipping my prom because I felt like i didn’t deserve to celebrate and have fun. I’ve had a friend do something similar as well.

And i get what she’s getting at. Being shut out really fucking sucks. It makes you feel unwanted in a way that hurts deeply. And you are not obligated to put up with it. But here’s the thing: the others are choosing to combat it and put up with it. Amity tells her directly that she knows it’s hard and scary, but she wants to keep Luz in her life. And it’s not like they’re constantly up her ass trying to be her therapist like the post alludes to - they do their own thing in thanks to them. They are giving her space.

And yes, Luz is in a bad place and not being the perfect little uwu sunshine baby anymore - but that’s normal. It’s normal to not be perfect all the time. It’s normal to help your friend through a though time. It’s okay to be a burden sometimes. Lily is also referring to Luz’s other coping mechanism of “must fix this all by myself” as better than her depression, without recognizing that this is very much how Luz acts here. Yes, she’s not proactive, but in her current situation there isn’t really any way for her to be. She still takes it all upon herself and believes she must make up for it somehow - the thing is, she can’t. Her decision never to return to the demon realm is a desperate attempt to repent somehow, and in her logic even prevent further harm. Lily just refuses to engage with any of that, because having a character go through a realistic arc after experiencing an immensely traumatic event is just edgy torture porn for her.

.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen 💜 I was wondering if you had any advice on how to start living for yourself instead of for other people. I’m realizing this is something I’ve struggled with for most of my life, and I’m not sure how to figure out what I like and what makes me happy, because for so long my standard has been “what do other people want from me? What do other people think is impressive?” I spend my high school and college years trying to measure up to my best friend, and now, after a rough breakup, I find myself trying to compete with my ex. Even though we’re not in contact and I don’t follow her online anymore, I still have this persistent feeling of her judgment in my mind whenever I do (or don’t do) anything. I feel the need to compare myself and my progress to her life even though I’m realizing that I don’t actually want to do the things she’s doing. But I feel like just being me isn’t enough, you know? Sorry, I feel like this may be kind of vague and rambling, haha.

I think a lot of us feel this to some extent or another. I needed to, first and foremost, learn to say “no” when I don’t want to do something. It really starts with being honest with myself. Am I saying “yes” because something is appealing to me or even because I know I can offer help and that will make me feel good OR am I saying “yes” to avoid being seen as rude or mean?   

Often I found myself either saying “yes” or passively agreeing to something because I thought it was the response expected of me and to say “no” would allow another person to suffer. Most of the time we all are willing to do something to alleviate the pain or fear of others but  I had to learn to weigh the consequences to my own health and life. (financial, emotional, physical etc.) 

Once I was coming out of a 17 year relationship I realized I had based much of the trajectory of my life on what I thought she needed/wanted and what was expected of me as a parent and a partner to another woman. I had to drastically rethink my life because after about a year apart I was still doing the same things and every move I made seemed dependent on what she would think, how she would react or what societal expectations. I had never wanted to be a mom and I certainly did not want to be a mom in the way I thought others wanted me to be a mom. 

I literally sat down one day and penned out my parenting style as opposed to what I was doing. In one column it was “I would do it this way” and in another was “I do it this way” and after each was a “because” column.  SO  I would “tell my kid they can’t have the candy and explain it is too much money” BECAUSE “I want them to know the truth and money is tight” And then I would reflect on how I had been handling things “I would tell them NO to the candy” and be upset because I was stressed I could not afford it BECAUSE “My wife would tell me it was mean to tell kids we don’t have enough money since it makes them feel like we are poor”. 

It did not take too much of this exercise to realize many of my reactions were,  more often than not, a proactive reaction to how I knew OR thought another person would react to my decision. Predicting a  reaction is one thing that we need to be able to get along with others and live in a social world. Restructuring our entire way of handling every situation to appease others is not healthy if it is a constant restraint we have to be aware of just to live day to day. When we have to expend the mental energy to make sure each action and decision will not cause us conflict with those in our lives we need to rethink the people we are “answering to” Are these the people we need around us if we find ourselves going against every instinct we have to just function?  

I discovered that my constant effort to define my actions by the parameters others were setting on me was exhausting. We all have to make some concessions to be part of groups but when we give up our natural way of handling situations to control the judgment of others we can forget that we are capable of handling things our own way. AND, in the end, we can’t control the actions of others anyway. 

This is all sort of the preamble to the idea that we base our success on what others see as success. Good parents are “seen” a certain way. Good employees “act” a certain way. Success is money, things, vacations, long term relationships and on and on. Our social structure is set up to reward these things that are “the dream life” but whose dream?   You need to figure out what truly gives you happiness. Is it money? Tropical vacations? Or is it a job you have that you love but aren’t “supposed” to do because it isn’t fancy or glorified by the media?  Some people that work at gas stations make a living wage, get benefits and love the daily interactions with regulars they have formed relationships with yet they are constantly told they need to “move up” or that what they do is not important or fulfilling. Is it less work and more time with your friends? Is it evenings at home with your dog? 

You are enough. And what you enjoy is enough. If you can pay your bills, take care of yourself and live within the means you have decided to earn, that is success. Adding fulfillment and happiness to that is icing on the cake. When we are with a partner or friends we often do things we don’t necessarily enjoy but being with them makes it worth it. When we are on our own time we can decide for ourselves and that freedom can feel pretty nice.

[zencortex00]

ZenCortex™ - Immune to tinnitus | Hearing Noises? | Ringing ears

Tinnitus is a common condition that affects a significant portion of the population. However, it is interesting to note that approximately 68% of people never experience tinnitus. This fact has caught the attention of a small group of European researchers who have recently made some groundbreaking discoveries in this field. These researchers have identified the nucleic acid responsible for making some individuals immune to developing tinnitus. Furthermore, they have also uncovered a way for everyone to activate this nucleic acid within a matter of months, or even weeks.

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[kyndaris]

Ice to Meet You

After changing my preferences to women, it's been much harder to meet new people. Unlike men, women are more secure about who they are. Or they just don't use dating apps as religiously. In any case, my profile didn't receive much in the ways of 'likes' and even when the two of us mutually decided to 'match' and chat, inevitably, they would stop responding after one or two exchanges. And given how ambivalent I am to the whole dating scene, when the conversations die off, I'm not all that ruffled. Instead, I just move on and try my luck elsewhere or sink a few more hours into a game.

In fact, in most conversations, I'm more reactive rather than proactive in my questioning. It's hard for me to garner curiosity for someone I don't really know. Especially because I've already learned from a young age not to dump on others about my niche interests. Or asking anything too nosy. Most of the time, these things come out in their own time. I'm a great listener, after all, and I tend to file away any and all scraps thrown my way.

Honestly, it's just easier for everyone involved for me to sit back and observe the person opposite me as they rant and rave about what they like. But also, I just find it very hard to interrupt others.

Despite all this, I managed to have a meet-up with Eivor! That's their codename because in one of their pictures they were dressed as a viking. Unlike all my other dates, this time I asked them for a meet-up (something I honestly hate doing), but considering she was the one who suggested adding each other first on Facebook Messenger (so she could send me pictures of her pets), I bucked up the courage to arrange a face-to-face meeting. After all, I'm an independent 31-year-old woman who don't need no man!

[As an aside to all this, I'm still occasionally chatting with Dikottir. So, maybe I do still WANT a man? Who knows.]

And honestly, it was better that I took the initiative. Elsewise I might even now be waiting for someone to ask me out. Or to have someone reach out to me to invite me to an event.

It's why I've bitten the bullet so many times in organising catch-ups with my work friends. For if not me, then who?

While books and video games are very important to me (and make any description of my weekends sound very boring - at least to me), but there's something about maintaining my social connections that also resonates with me.I can't live in my head forever. And being chronically online would also be terrible for my mental health. I mean, what if I fell in with the wrong crowd that enabled all my worst traits? Or who I could compare my self to and think: yes, I'm far more normal than they are and so my mental health isn't flagging despite the fact I had a psychotic breakdown leading to hospitalisation for a week (if that's sounding very specific, it's because it is and that's a whole other story to tell).

Anyways, long story short, Eivor and I had chatted for a while. I learned she was into sports and thought going on an ice-skating trip would be a bit different to all my usual first-dates at cafes. I arrived to the rink early. Unfortunately, Eivor was running a little late as she had chosen to save a little on money by doing an Uber Pool. But once she did arrive (and after I'd done a few rounds on the rink in the skates the Ice Zoo provided - which were more hockey skates than the blue skates usually handed out), we chatted as we circled the rink.

Mostly, it ended up as Eivor asking me more questions of me than I her. But given the amount of children celebrating their birthdays there, and the music, it wasn't exactly the most conducive environment for a chat.

I learned she had a brother and was homeschooled. That she was often told she was quite 'normal' for not going through the usual curriculum when it came to learning but she was thankful her mother allowed to explore the subjects they were interested in. Including getting involved in a robotics competition run by Macquarie University. Something that sounded so cool to me and I hate myself for not asking more about it.

Unfortunately, being homeschooled meant she didn't have an ATAR to allow her easy access into a degree. Eivor told me she had to sit for the SAT and when she was finally admitted into tertiary education, the one major difficulty she faced were standardised exams.

And honestly, so true! Standardised tests are the worst. They don't even test anything practical about a subject - merely how well you might have crammed the information into your head the night before. It's a complete and utter joke and doesn't demonstrate one's actual knowledge.

Once our ice-skating session was over (in which I embarrassed myself by trying to do my usual T-stop on the skates but being encumbered by a weighted penguin, resulting in me overbalancing and falling on the ice), we had a simple affair of chicken nuggets and chips at the cafe located at the rink. Although I did offer Eivor a ride to another suburb or a restaurant close by, she refused.

Which, honestly, is fair.

We were strangers and for all she knew, I COULD have been a serial killer (spoilers: I'm not. In fact, I'm always in fear of my own life when I go out on dates. Beyond that, she was taller than me and could probably deadlift me if she so chose.). It doesn't help that so many of my friends have written into their wills that if they were to vanish under mysterious circumstances, I'd be to blame.

I should work on stamping out such baseless rumours. Permanently.

It wasn't the best food to have. And it didn't fill me up at all considering this was supposed to be lunch. Nevertheless, I didn't want to pressure Eivor into anything and had let her take the lead. From there, we investigated the nearby antiques store. RIGHT as it began to sprinkle down heavy drops of RAIN!

Given I lived in one of the neighbouring suburbs, my mind instantly turned to the LAUNDRY I had painstakingly washed and hung out to dry (thankfully, it was still quite a warm day and when I got back home to check, they weren't as wet as I thought despite the sudden sun shower).

Antique stores, it should be known, aren't places I normally frequent. Yes, I visited Dirty Janes in Bowral during the light show back in June this year but old pieces of furniture isn't something terribly enticing to someone like me. Probably because they aren't exactly the ancient artefacts I would hope to find in an archaeological dig. The most interesting things I DID see were taxidermy animals and a few Chinese vases. Unfortunately, there were not enough weapons to catch my eye at the exhibit. Now, Dirty Janes had a veritable display of knives to peruse. As well as a few cases filled with butterflies that would have looked delightful.

And so ended my date with Eivor.

Throughout it all, there wasn't much of a spark between us. Like many of the men, I wasn't filled with any kind of lustful thoughts or a desire to know as much as I could about her. In fact, I think what I felt was a combination of anxiety (and wishing to impress) as well as mild disappointment.

I had been hoping to be wowed but Eivor was like any person I might walk by on my daily commute to the office. Any curiosity I had remained entirely detached like she was another face in a crowd of thousands.

Similarly, I didn't feel like she was all that taken away by who I was. Some of that might be my below average self-worth, esteem and confidence talking but Eivor and I haven't chatted much since the encounter out on the ice. In fact the conversation have all but dried up. So, I suppose it's back to the drawing board for me.

It doesn't help that I find it immensely boring to talk about myself. After all, there's nothing truly exciting about my life (something I was warned not to say to strangers during a one-year-old's birthday party. Of course, when you don't know ANYONE at the birthday party and no-one extends a hand to chat with you - usually that's me actually - it's a difficult endeavour). But whenever I try to talk about a few of my passion projects, the conversation always seems to jump to another topic.

And given I'm more a Wednesday Addams wallflower than an Enid SInclair extrovert, it'll probably keep on being the same old story every time.

In fact, I told one of my friends that I think a possible ideal partner for me would be to have an excitable golden retriever chasing after my grouchy cat arse.

But beggars can't be choosers in the game of love. So, I guess we'll simply have to see where the next step takes me. Or I can just be satisfied with being single. And honestly? There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[kingofkingsschizo]

The system is failing the mentally ill population across the nation. As a mentally ill person, I was incarcerated and abused, neglected, and also excessive force was used against me and I suffer from mental illness.There could come a time in your very own life where you are in crisis and are having episodes trying the best you can to survive with your mental illness out in society, out in public. You may act out and lash out at law-enforcement being that you may be delusional. This occurs all the time in public with law-enforcement. It happens in public. No one understands what a mentally ill person goes through with his life of mental illness. There are occasions and instances where we may become psychotic with episodes because we are unmedicated or other crisis and stresses that causes us not to be not in control of our mental health. The system has failed us because there is nothing in place to be proactive and provide the correct support and response that we need. There is not enough social workers trained professionals in law-enforcement to deal with the crisis that we have now. Incarceration while being mentally ill is very dangerous to the mentally ill person. I know this for a fact. I think once a person has been established as someone who suffers from mental illness in their community. There should be a red flag. Whenever a call comes in that this person is in crisis again. The place where it all goes wrong is communication and keeping record of who is mentally ill in the community. When consecutive calls are made on a mentally ill person it seems like that they have become a nuisance to the public. so the law enforcement becomes your enemy and wants to see you locked up for good because you have committed so many disturbances out in the public. They wanted to give me 2 to 10 years for spitting on the officer which  I would have never done in my right mind. But I went through incarceration and a stressful probation. I had to pay fines and complete community service when I am mentally ill. Plus from the abuse I suffered in the county it caused permanent damage to my spine and I was expected to complete community service. By the grace of God, I made it out without having to be re-incarcerated for revoking my probation. But I made it. There are a lot of things I would like to talk about while being incarcerated. I have ideas in my head to revamp the system the way it is right now. The status quo has to go. abuse, neglect should and remain held accountable to those who provide actually nothing at all to help the mentally ill while incarcerated. They do very little to correct the problem with the person that is on the ground in crisis. Their solution, the system, is to incarcerate and convict. And with that comes abuse suffering and neglect to a degree that blows my mind. I can’t believe that I have to discuss this issue in this day and age but this exist. You may be schizophrenic and new to your diagnosis and there are a lot of things you need to examine that’s going on in the media with mentally ill people stay abreast to everything that’s going on because it could happen to you, because it happened to me,. When all I needed was help. God help this mess.

[hope-of-virgo]

goals 2024

so it's around about the time of year where i make resolutions, and fortunately my schedule will start clearing up around may. perfect time to fill up my schedule again.

compete in a pole competition didn't get to do this last year due to getting surgery about 6 weeks prior to the performance date, and was like "hmm better not push my luck on the recovery". turns out that was a great decision, i was out of action for about 3 months after a complication. i've got my song picked out and a basic idea of where i'm going with the choreo, and that's a decent amount of the work out of the way. there's also a distinct possibility that my aerial dance sport will impact negatively on my career if it ever comes to light, so i'm determined to actually accomplish something in that space before i'm forced to choose between my sport and my job. also, not to mention the elephant in the room, but i'm also approaching 35 years old and on a functional level your body does start to break down as you get older. i might not be able to do it forever, and i'd like to do something cool while i still can.

change jobs didn't just do a social work qualification to not use it. child protection is hiring anyone with a qualification and a heartbeat, to the point that they're hiring people on working holiday visas to fill the skills gap. my current workplace is getting even more toxic than usual (@gotouhitori and @tamaaya68000 have been trying to convince me for l i t e r a l l y years to change jobs, ever since that one awesome time i came home from work and tried to do the big yeet. turned into 3 weeks off work due to mental health instability, and nearly 3 years later i'm still fucking there, somehow. work's in the process of hiring a "change management consultant" not just for the hospital redevelopment but also for the electronic medical record, and "change management" and "layoffs" typically go hand in hand.

take a course in data analytics my area of professional interest is, amongst other things, how harm minimisation practices and other proactive measures save the social services system money in the long run. i already have qualifications in accounting and statistics, and i'm not likely to want to stay in client-facing positions forever. typically lobbying government etc tends to be more effective when you can present actual dollar amounts as to what inaction is costing them, and in these Troubling Economic Times, they're looking to save money wherever possible. my clinical coding quals also come in handy here; they added a 5th character to some f-block codes to track presence of methamphetamine, for fuck's sake, you'd be stupid to not do something with that data. the intersection of social issues and healthcare has been interesting to me for years, and there's definitely room to affect change in that space.

change my ~*aesthetic*~ i've basically been living in my work uniforms for the last 5 years, and i'm trying to create a better work-life balance, which starts by changing clothes. a recent discovery is that an aesthetic i really enjoy in my personal life is "cool art teacher", even if my work attire still trends as "slutty librarian", which isn't something i'm looking to change. i've also never had the chance to do anything with my hair, and it's going to look a bit like a midlife crisis, but it's part of the Process.

hit platinum in a competitive game league is the low-hanging fruit on this one, but i'm not sure whether there's a high enough population on the oceanic server to get decent competitive matchmaking integrity above mid-gold. i'd do magic arena, but there's no ranked competitive for the only format i'm interested in (historic brawl), and i'm not looking to sink like $300 into keeping up with standard.

finish some knitting projects i cast on a crop top this time last year and it's still not fucking done. i'm kinda gun-shy on the entire hobby due to suffering a bit of a trauma last year, and i tend to put down whatever i was doing at the time the trauma happened. case in point: when me eating was so intrinsically linked to someone specific and then they broke up with me, i ate barely anything for nearly 18 months.

start collecting movies, music, and tv shows on physical media i'm generally against piracy when there are other options available; i'm kinda cracking the shits with a lot of digital services at the moment due to every studio and distributor under the sun having their fucking hands out. hell no i'm not paying an additional fee to paramount plus simply to watch star trek discovery, fuck that. sure it's irritating to have to change cds, and there's still a place for streaming music in my life, but artists already see a small enough slice of the pie and smaller bands like cry club and teenage joans really rely on shit like merch and record sales to get by.

this will likely have stuff added to it as i remember, but i've spent long enough dicking around writing this rather than getting ready for my house inspection next week, so

[hadit93]

Hi Hadit, hope you are doing well.

This ask might seem weird to you because you believe in putting the effort in mundane affairs before turning to magic, but do you have a spell that can get me out of a rut and make me proactive and energetic temporarily (For a week or two)?

I have adhd and acute depression and although I am mostly high-functioning (I have a full time job, continuing my masters, practice magic, and cook and clean everyday) and I have been unable to even get out of the bed, do the simplest chores, or even reply to texts or calls lately.

I need to get a job (and probably do a spell or two to boost my job search) asap and catch up on my chores, but forcing myself to do anything is resulting in horrible panic attacks. This usually happens to me every year and it goes away, but I can't be a sitting duck waiting for it to pass this time or I am gonna be unemployed soon. I mostly work with planetary and Goetic spirits. Sorry for the long ask.

TIA for your time; take care.

So obviously ignore my advice and seek the advice of a medical professional first and after that try implementing my advice.

So in terms of magic helping your mental health and symptoms of ADHD, there is not really a spell or ritual that is going to do that. A good daily practice may help this over time. I recommend regular cleansing, regular energy work, regular invocation of the highest, and meditation. As someone with ADHD you may struggle with meditation ,stick with it if you can. It doesn't matter if you are distracted, what matters is the effort of bringing back that attention over time. It is stretching a muscle.

It sounds to me that the depression is effecting your life more than your ADHD at the minute. Working with the above may help that, however, working with the solar force will also help. You could do this in many ways, I would find some herb that is safe to ingest that is solar in nature and safe to infuse in high-proof alcohol such as vodka. Chamomile is a good option, rosemary too, Create a tincture and also have a crystal to charge too. Charge the crystal with your own intent and also the solar force in a ritual. Place the crystal in the tincture (make sure the crystal is not toxic first! Citrine would be my choice) and allow it to brew for a couple of weeks. Place a drop on the tongue whenever you feel like it or on a regular basis. Every morning perhaps- just a drop, nothing more.

I wish I could give you a miracle one shot magical cure for your problems. But I do not have one. These things take time, there is no cure for depression or ADHD, there are simply treatments. This is because there is no single cause for depression and we do not even know the cause of ADHD nor what truly exacerbates it within individuals. But the solar force and regular cleansing will help over time. Meditation will also help too.

My advice after this would be to stop trying to do everything at once. Write a list of tasks you want to accomplish. Then order these in easiest/shortest time to hardest/longest time. Then start tackling them in that order. Make a list of rituals/spirits you can work with to obtain these things in order. Not all at once, you cannot sort all your life out at once. It takes time.

Don't beat yourself up it is hard to overcome depression. It is hard to muster up the strength and discipline to battle that part of yourself. It may seem stupid to you or to others around you, but as someone who has battled their own demons I know the struggle and I commend you for enduring it so far and seeking out help when you need it.

You may want to perform a formal cleansing ritual (this could look like anything, every tradition has them. I am talking something more than an LBRP though. A self exorcism might be good- the headless rite may be a good choice too, or liber samekh. You may also want to perform a road opening ritual- I am unsure who you work with. For me I would take a few coins to a crossroads and ask Hekate to open the ways for me so that my influence may flow freely in all directions and leave a coin in each pathway as well as a boiled egg. There are many crossroads deities who would be good for this too. You can also google road opening spells, there are loads to choose from.

Raphael may be able to help. I would not recommend involving goetic spirits for help with mental health. Unless you already have a good working relationship with one of them who can help. Eventually Bune can help with your finances and your job hunt when it comes to conquer that task.

And I will finish by saying if you need help seek it out from a doctor. Therapy is brilliant. Medication is great when you need it to get unstuck from a rut. Don't rely on magic, it will help, but dealing with issues on the same plane they are manifested upon is always best. The mental plane is conquered through words in therapy, the physical plane by medication, meditation, and exercise. The spiritual plane will trickle down to both of these, but it may be more subtle and long-term than direct.

Good luck, I am sure you've got this!

[rush-mp3]

bae sejin cares so much about moondae, and it's so cute how he's trying harder and harder to show it 😭 not just moondae, but the whole group. he's so proactive now in wanting to look after their health, especially their mental health.

my babies have truly come such a long way for only being a little over 2 years old 😭🥺💙🩵🤍

[causticsunshine]

Omg I want to read that new fic so bad, I loove your writing but I think I unfortunately have some trust issues when it comes to you finishing your wips😭 Which I really don’t blame you for but I don’t know if I can do this again, please give me some reassurance that you plan to finish it?

hello anon!

i know i have a lot of wips to get back to as well—forever my curse—so i totally get wanting to wait until something is finished to be invested or being generally apprehensive to start a WIP, but i want to put this out there again because i’ve been seeing a lot of these kinds of comments lately, not just regarding my work but some other peoples’ as well. i hope it doesn’t come across as pointed or passive aggressive, but:

it’s not really up to the readers or audience to dictate when something should be updated/posted/etc., simply because they want it to be. and consistently asking or hinting about wanting an update or even saying you might not read something just because it’s a wip isn’t very motivating for the author, even if it’s done with the intention of portraying hopefulness or encouragement.

not to be repetitive on my end or list out excuses, but in regards to why i have so many wips, i’m just a busy person and i have a lot on my plate. as i assume a lot of other people with wips are—at least partially.

as i’ve shared previously, i work a full time job, i do art and other creative things, i have a decently active social life, i also have issues with my mental and physical health that take time away from things i’d rather be doing / make things generally harder for me to do a lot of the time. i just have a lot on my plate 99% of the time besides the fact that most of my writing is done for fic fests, and because my pieces tend to fall on the actual book length end of things, i often fall behind when i don’t mean or want to.

it doesn’t help that i was also overly ambitious last year signing up for fests and didn’t consider how much time i’d actually need to write anything—plus, sometimes you just get stuck on stuff even when you know exactly how you’d like it to go, and that can affect your writing process just as much as not having the time, having other things that need tending to, what have you.

and ultimately, writing is still just a hobby of mine! despite my dedication, i don’t want to turn it into a chore just so i can force myself to constantly put stuff out. and i can’t write when i don’t have the motivation or want to; what i put out when i force myself is absolute garbage and takes more time to fix and rewrite than just waiting to write until i’m in the right headspace.

in terms of my 1d fics, i still intend to finish all of them. just as i’ve said before, i just can’t give clear timelines as to when for xyz numerous reasons, many of which i’ve already touched on.

and my dear anon, i 100% understand why people may not like to read wips out of fear they won’t be finished, or may wait until something is done to read it for that reason—i’ve done it too! guilty as charged!—but consistently or at least on more than one occasion asking for assurances that something is going to be finished, especially when an author has made such assurances that something will be updated/finished (which i very much try to do!) but has something going on which is preventing a timely update from happening, very likely isn’t going to help with that update coming sooner.

for the record, i do very much appreciate your passion and desire to keep reading my work! with this current fic, i’m spending my time after work, as well as on my days off where i actually don’t have anything going on, continuing to write and edit. i’ll also be finishing it before going back and working down my wip list just because i’ve been so proactive and motivated with working on it. if you’d still like to read but would like to wait, or whatever you may choose to do, go ahead! but i am actively and continually working to finish it before i go back to finish other pieces!

apologies for dumping this all in my reply to you—especially as i’m assuming you’ve already inquired about my wips before. this is just really the last time i plan to touch on this topic, and concerning any potential messages i get on this topic from anyone in the future, i don’t think i will be answering them.

tldr: anyway, anon, i once again do thank you for reading my work and liking it so much you feel compelled to check in on updates! all i can do though is assure you that despite the gaps in time you see between updates, my intention is always to finish my works (at least for this community). if that ever changes, i will make an announcement, but i don’t count on that happening anytime soon.

best wishes and thank you again—i hope when this fic is finished you will enjoy reading! 🩷