#tw defecation

[saturdaynightlivedork]

Is Sidetable Drawer the entire sidetable or just the drawer (the box that holds the notebook)?

Her name is Sidetable Drawer, but while she’s singing “Sidetable’s Lament” in BBMM (WHY ISN’T IT ON PARAMOUNT+?!), she is able to move the entire sidetable and kick the legs in sad frustration.

BONUS BAFFLER: Cinnamon needs his diaper changed in “Making Changes”. Wouldn’t there be a hole down there to…eliminate with? If so, wouldn’t his…cinnamon…leak out?

[thiefnessman]

sometimes your homework is reading a paper where people talk about why they shit outside

[couriernewvegas]

i have GOT to stop taking ubers

[avian-alchemist]

((seeing the short video of that animal (I am really sorry I have no idea what it is) is reminding me of the time I went to the Fort Worth stockyards, and while our group was listening to a guy (I think he was with the museum portion of it? but not entirely sure) a small cat came along and... did its business, right there in the yard they covered in sand to make the ground easier on the cattle

[forestshadow-wolf]

Tw: mcd, torture, gore

Ghost, captured on a mission. They clonk him on the head, and when he wakes up he's in a dinghy, drippy, concrete cell, stripped of his gear and weapons. Typical shitty condition for being held hostage. Could be worse, at least there's a window, albeit barred, but it's something. They don't touch him for days, he's seen not hide nor hair from his captors. Not for food, or water, or when the human condition of defecation arises. That last one won't be such a problem if his treatment continues. He wishes he'd sent that last contact to Watcher instead of trying to wrap up the mission.

Three days. A week. Two. Four. Four weeks and two days. He wonders how much longer it'll be before he's rescued. That's when they show themselves. On day twenty-nine. A stale lump of bread and a cup of water. Thrown at him through the iron bars if the cell door. They watch him eat it. Mind games, he knows that's what it is. He doesn't let it bother him. He finishes his food and drink and his captor leaves. They follow this routine of watching and nothing else for two days. He eats. They watch. He drinks. They leave. Not a word is said.

Day thirty-two they come into his cell. They forgot his bread and water. They didn't. He knew it was a choice. Surely it's not much longer until he has people coming for him. Maybe johnny will come for him. They advance on him, cornering him, he hates it. He fights it. But he's weak. Starved. The restraints go on far too easily for his liking.

They shove a bag over his bag again. When it's removed they're in another room. They force him to sit in a solid metal chair. There's a metal table in the center of the room that looks like it belongs in a surgical room. It's so cliche he almost laughs.

They start off slow. Hands. Fists. They're not even asking him questions. Means they probably don't want anything. They got off at the sight of pain. At putting people in pain. He knows this type. He supposes it could be worse. Could always be worse.

He makes not a sound, lets his body lax, too weak to fight them anyway. They drag him back to his cell. His face is broken, bleeding. His eyes swell shut, and he's forced to breathe through his mouth because his nose is broken and bleeding blood and mucus. They slap him around the next day too, it it gets no reaction. It could be worse. He's been through worse. Do they know he's gone yet? They have to right?

They don't like that. The toys come out to play. Batons, hammers, tasers. And *that* hurts. He grunts and pants. The days start to blend together now, but he thinks they drag it out dor another three days. But he lives. Will live. It could be worse.

His pained sounds only seem to encourage them because they next day they don't have him in the chair. No, instead they have him strung up on a chain. The knife is their latest addition to their fun. Slice him up, salt the wound, then slam into it with a bat or a pipe. They grin at the strangled sounds of pain. They break a leg, he hears it snap inside his head when metal and flesh rings in the air. He screams. He can't keep his legs under himself. The chains pull on his arms. It strains his lungs, makes it hard to breathe. Or that's from the broken ribs that he assessed were grinding with each breath that night when they drag him back to his cell. He hopes that rescue is coming soon. But it could be worse. He's survived worse.

They day after the next they slam his body onto the metal table, don't even strap him down for whatever they're gonna do to him. Nothing happens to him for what seems like a while. And then they start cutting into his skin. And he tries to yank away. To stop the pain. But he's weak, and they're not.

He screams and cries, and he thinks he honest to god hears a *laugh*. They start at his arms, then his legs, then the side of his ribs. They shove their tools in him and prod just to prod, peeling skin and muscle and whatnot from bone. And he screams and cries. And they stich him up each time before they move on. It hurts. It hurt so bad. He wants it to stop. They keep laughing. Why do they laugh. He just wants it to stop. And eventually they do. They don't drag him off to his cell this time. Don't even stitch him fully closed. They just leave him there. Bleeding, and shivering in pain. He's long since screamed himself hoarse. It's so cold. The table's cold. The room's cold. His blood is cold. But it could be worse. He doesn't know how, but he tells himself it could be. They're coming for him. Help is coming. It could be worse.

It gets worse. It's worse when they open stitches and stick things in him. When they electricute his insides. He doesn't even have the energy to make sound. He writhes in pain as his muscles seize. But it could be worse. He repeats it. Over and over again.

And then it gets worse. When they rip open his belly and fish around. Playing with his insides, grabbing, and tugging. And then his guts are spilling outside of him. And they cackle. He wants them to stop. Please stop. It can't possibly get worse than this. Stop. *Stop*. *STOP*. **STOP**. They do. Eventually. They do stop, interrupted by gunfire and crashing. he's left on that table, open and bleeding. And it can't get worse, he realizes. He's not getting out of this one. Maybe it's not worth it anyway. Speculation is a wasted effort. He's dead in a few more minutes, he can feel it in parts of his body that he should even be aware of. His heart stutters. His lungs rattle. His intestine writhe. It hurts. God- it hurts so bad.

The door bursts in but he can't move. He hears someone. Please, it hurts so bad. It makes him want to vomit. But he can't.

He hears a voice. His eyes flick and- oh there's blue. He knows those eyes. He likes them. Theses noises but he can't hear them. Is he talking. Or is it the blue he doesn't know. Everything hurts. Far more than he thinks is possible. He can feel his intstine twitch again. Far less violent than before. It'll be okay. It will. If he closes his eyes it's be okay. It'll go away if he closes his eyes. He knows it. Because this is the worst. Nothing could possibly be worse than this. So he does

Soap feels the moment Simon Riley dies. He screams for him to wake up. To open his eyes. He doesn't look at the gore. Keeps his eyes trained on Simon's upside down face from when he stands at his head. He doesn't think about the way blood puddles on the floor. It's so much. He thinks he feels it soap into the toe of his boot. But he doesn't think about that. Only that he needs those eyes to open. He doesn't think about the pulse he can't feel. How he felt it leave him. He just needs him to wake up. He doesn't look at the way his flesh is pryed open for examination. Just waits for those eyes to open. Keeps watching for them as he gets dragged away.

[doll-elvis]

I've seen some of those tabloid articles that make fun of Elvis say something along the lines of 'he had to wear diapers towards the end of his life" because of either his drug problem or just the issues with his colon.

Even if this were true...why make fun of him for it? A twisted colon is no laughing matter.

tw: death, talk of addiction to prescription drugs, bodily functions

it’s just heartbreaking to see that nothing has changed since the 70s regarding how we view mental and physical health because the same comments are being made about Elvis today, as they were made back then

On Twitter a couple months ago someone spread a rumor that Elvis didn’t defecate for 4 months prior to his passing (not true and he would have had a ruptured colon if that were the case)

And it was truly horrible to see all the tweets about him…mocking his death, making a joke of his health issues and the depression he likely suffered from, as well as his addiction to prescription medication

I can’t believe anybody could be so unsympathetic that they could find humor in a situation where a man suffered so much physically that he ultimately succumbed to his illnesses, and died alone when he was only 42 … it makes me so upset to see people make a mockery of him

As for having to wear diapers, just from what I have read, it was not something consistent and it was an extremely rare occurrence… I honestly hate that people who knew him ever even talked about it because it is something so incredibly private

According to Billy Smith “He had that bowel problem with a twisted colon, or a paralyzed colon, which kept him from going to the bathroom. Albert Goldman wrote that a lot of times Elvis lost control of his bowels in the last couple years. He makes it sound like he was practically in diapers. Most of the time, Elvis could control it. He was still quite proud, and he was cautious about things like that. When it did happen, it was almost like he broke down. He was embarrassed, and it was best you didn’t talk”

Lamar Fike said “I think the diapers have been exaggerated. But that’s not a lie. They put towels down to keep him from defecating in bed. He would be so damn drugged up, he couldn’t make it to the bathroom. That’s a clue to a person losing it. By late ’75, early ’76, it became a real problem. Everybody just tried to ignore it. But I would tell Colonel and Dr. Nick, “God Almighty, this guy is really, really sick. He’s going on us!”

Billy Smith also added “One time, he messed in the bed at Graceland, and one of the maids cleaned it up. And she suggested, just in case it happened again, to put a towel under him. But Elvis would never have been wrapped in a diaper or had a towel put around him. From then on, he always walked to the bathroom. But even that was dangerous. Because it was not unusual for him to fall asleep in the bathroom. He would take sleeping pills and get up and go to the bathroom, and the first thing you knew they’d hit him, and he never would make it back to the bed. He’d fall right there in the floor and go sound to sleep. If there was nobody there to help him, he would just lay there until somebody found him. But many times, they’d buzz me, and I’d have to come out and help get him up”

[kid-az]

All Tomorrows: Vanga-Vangog Rot Eater headcanons

Finally comes the Rot Eaters, Vanga-Vangog’s descendants of the Bone Crusher’s, infamously known to show affection via the throwing of poop. Inspite of reaching the medieval era of civilization, teh Bone Crusher’s would all apparently starve from the lack of dead corpse to feed from, as well as other disasters, atleast in canon.

Instead of starving to death, the Bonecrusher’s managed to learn how to ferment their food, allowing them to better survive the scarcity of dead corpses to eat from. Outside of growing leaner, little else of the Rot Eater’s evolution changed from their ancestors, and they still did the “defecate to show affection” thing, albeit diminished.

TW FOR POOP AND BODILY FLUIDS!

-To get through with it already, yes, they did defecate to show affection. But this was during special occasions, such as their equivalent of weddings and birth, not something they did daily or out of the blue. (Infact, it was a highly ritualized tradition.)

-And yes… children would be fed the poop of their parents to better develop gut bacteria to better process food. Speaking of, they not only ate fermented meat, but also fermented cheese, alcohol, and even bread. (Also their alcohol was extremely strong, one tiny sip from it would make you pass out quickly)

-As smell was as important as hearing and sight in their cultures, the would distinguish themselves with extremely strong, long-lasting perfumes, often smelling similar to a skunk of animal marking. Some perfume trends would involve much spicier, bitter, or even sweet smells.

-They don’t wear much clothes, (Outside of dangerous weather or cold temperatures) as they highly valued their natural bodies and wished to show them off to society, friends, and neighbors. It also would get in the way of the sweat and other glands they used to communicate. At most, they’d wear a loincloth, glasses, or a scarf.

-Their spoken and written language was a mix between words, sign, and the excretion of scents and fluids. Their television and screens also utilized a mix of sight and smell, being an in between of our own as well as the Symbiotes olfactory television.

-Inspite of these practices, they were historically a very welcoming and accepting people. They did not discriminate and, in fact, heavily encouraged the self expression of their people and other posthuman cousins. They were historically very accepting of Queer people and the disabled, not at all othering them in mainstream society.

-There was a birth condition quite common in their culture, about as common as autism or ADHD was in our own species. This condition would have children be born with the physique of their Bonecrusher ancestors. This would make them extremely heavily built, STRONG af and have an even greater sense of smell than the average Rot Eater. They were historically seen as leader-like figures or elite soldiers in their society, though currently these folk are treated as just normal Rot Eater’s. (Outside of being asked more often to do physically straining tasks by friends and family.)

-Another common birth condition was when a child was born with a deformed, often stylized beak. (A holdover from the Bonecrusher’s relatives who acted as living beak art for the Qu. They’d look similar to this post) It was about as common as the last birth condition, though had few benefits, as a heavily deformed, stylized beak would give you difficulty with eating, speaking, or even opening their mouthes. Thankfully, the Rot Eater’s culture of acceptance allowed most of these people to live long, happy lives with minimal complications, often taking pride in how different their beaks were.

-Along with the Killer Folk, Satyriac’s, and another one of Vanga’s species I will explore, they’d be the founders of the Second Empire. Compared to the stereotypes of the Killer Folk’s more serious, warlike nature, the Satyriac’s uninhibited party-loving pursuit of pleasure, or the other species more spaced-out wiseness, the Rot Eater’s were treated as the simple straight man among the quartet. Of course, stereotypes were merely stereotypes with only a small or surface level basis.

[lolothesilly]

OUGH so i just typed out a bunch of fun facts about leeches....

tw for discussion of blood, disease transmission, & animal defecation!

most species of leech dont feed on humans, they tend to be very specialized to feed on a specific animal (often fish and amphibians!)

some leeches dont drink blood at all & instead are carnivores eating things like earthworms or slugs!!

its not very likely to get a serious illness from a leech even in the wild because of the way their mouthparts work, the most likely way to get a bloodborne disease from a leech is actually to grab it and yank it off bc that may make it regurgitate the blood in its tummy out of stress!! it is however entirely possible for the bite itself to get infected bc wild leeches tend to live in pond or swamp water which isnt known for being sanitary lol, so if you are bitten by a wild leech definitely clean the wound as best you can, apply pressure, and seek medical assistance just in case!!

the best way to remove a leech is to run your fingernail (or a credit card or similar thin sturdy water-resistant material) under the edge of its face, bc it latches on using a suction cup (like an octopus! there's a suction cup on its face & one on the end of its tail! the face is on the narrower end btw, the fat end is its big ol butt <3) so if you gently break the suction seal it'll just fall off!

leech "bites" can bleed a lot bc their saliva has anticoagulant properties, so leeches are the most dangerous to ppl who have hemophilia or another bleeding disorder!!

leeches dont really have fangs, they have a tiny Y-shaped jaw with microscopic "teeth", almost like a weird little saw, and they use that to break the skin & use their suction cup to latch onto the tiny wound and just sort of free-feed as the blood flows out!!

they also dont drink a huge amount of blood tbh, especially if its just one of them (though they do tend to live in large groups), but the anticoagulant can cause you to bleed (not gushing, more like a steady leak?) for hours after the leech lets go, so its good to apply pressure with clean bandages after being bit!!

leeches are used in medicine to this day!!

you can also keep them as pets, theyre one of the few truly low-maintenance animals, they just need dechlorinated water, some gravel (for rubbing against to help shed their skin), a hidey hole or two, & for their water to be cleaned every so often!! they can live in surprisingly small enclosures, but it definitely doesnt hurt to give them space to explore :) they do also prefer darkness though, so its best to make sure they're shaded from any bright lights or windows!!

leeches like to live with other leeches!!! they will actually curl up together and at least one study has shown that they release oxytocin when "cuddling" with each other (the same brain chemical that's released when, for example, a mother cuddles her baby!!)

its generally ok to keep leeches of the same species together, they arent likely to attack each other unless one of them is full of warm blood & another is hungry!! this is why its best to feed your leeches around the same time & if one refuses to eat, keep it in a separate tank from the ones that have eaten until the full ones defecate and/or the empty one eats!!

adult Hirudo verbana (the modern "medicinal leech" bc the similar, historically used Hirudo medicinalis is endangered) can feed as infrequently as once or twice a year!! they'll digest their meal over a long period of time and (if i recall correctly?) tend to defecate it all at once!! it'll be pretty obvious when your leech does a poop (they'll release dark fluid into the water, this is just whats left of the blood once it nutrients have been absorbed) so clean their water as soon as you notice that xP

some leech owners feed them their own blood, but others will buy unsalted (important!! salt can kill them!!) pork blood from butchers or some deli markets, put that blood in a plastic bag or sausage casing, and warm it up in a bowl of warm water & let the leeches feed on that!!

Hirudo verbana are more colorful than you might think! they have patterns along their back in varying shades of orange, dark green, and brown, while their bellies are a lighter tan color!!

ok ill stop now hehe >w<

[dunmer-pussy]

hi i guess?

Some of the text in this is highlighted and colored blue to make skimming easier.

The name's Cayde, without the 6, and undoubtedly not dead. I also answer to Nova, Spades or Six. 18 y/o, autistic he/xe queer transsexual My timezone is Eastern Standard (EST). in a relationship Aspiring content creator

On this blog, expect to find things relating to my fandoms, my hyperfixations, my OCs, my writing projects, and the occasional dash commentary post. My talking tag for all my original posts is caydeposting.

My non-fandom sideblog can be found at @cayde6feetunder.

I don't have a DNI other than don't be a weirdo, don't harass me or my friends, and don't try to start fights and/or drama with me. If I block you and you bother me asking why or you message me asking why I blocked [x person] you will be blocked too. Don't annoy me, basically.

My fandoms and interests primarily include, with major ones bolded and colored, secondary ones italicized:

Destiny

Dead Space

Red Dead Redemption

God of War

And a few more, I'll update this probably when I remember more that are worthwhile enough to include. But this should give a general idea as to what you would see here!

My inbox is always open! Feel free to chat, or send me ask game prompts when I reblog them and I'll try to remember to get to it. I don't bite, I would love to chat.

I am also a writer as a hobby, and I do in fact take requests! Headcanons, short drabbles, etc etc. Keep in mind that I will only answer NSFW asks privately, so if they're on-anon they will be deleted. This is for the comfort of my followers. I have an NSFW sideblog, but you're gonna have to hunt it down yourself! Anyways, here are some brief rules for the requests and other things:

If I don't understand a character well, I usually don't think much about them. So if it takes me longer to do your request, don't take it as a bad request or whatever! I'll try to get to it as best I can.

I primarily focus on the highlighted/colored/italicized fandoms listed above because I give them the most thought.

I am okay with headcanons and fics involving dark subjects, but I WILL NOT be writing anything proshippy, immoral, or otherwise disgusting. Subjects such as violence, gore, sui//cide, and things like that are on the table however. ALL WILL BE TAGGED USING THE "[x] TW" FORMAT. If you have a specific tag you have filtered, let me know and I'll try to remember to use it!

I reserve the right to decline your request for any reason. Don't take it personally!

Want to write a collab? Lemme know! I'll be glad to depending on other projects I'm focussing on.

I would love to hear about your own OCs and your own fics! Flood my inbox.

Now that that that's out of the way. Here's a brief list of my Destiny OCs that you'll see tagged and talked about here. Feel free to ask me about them! I will update this list as we go along. Keep in mind that I am cringe but I am free and I do not care if someone thinks I'm cringe, so what. I regularly reblog ask games involving my OCs, and it's preferred that if you reblog an ask game from me you send me a prompt from it. But you don't have to.

Nebula-10, main OC, Exo; main player character [ REF ]

Pulsar-11, Exo; secondary player character [ REF ]

Comet, Cabal; adopted son of Pulsar and Nebula

Star, Eliksni; adopted daughter of Pulsar and Nebula

Ace, Awoken; adopted son of Nebula and Cayde [ REF ]

Kookaburra, Awoken; adopted daughter of Nebula and Cayde

Atlas, Hive; Lightbearer Knight and Lucent Brood defect

"Mastermind" (Real name unknown), Exo; lead scientist aboard Nebula's ship

Lucifer, AI; the AI on board the Morning Star ship

Kinkajou, Human; girlfriend of Kookaburra

Diavolo-12, Exo; irredeemable asshole bounty hunter that kills for fun.

Cernunnos-18, Exo; local forest dweller.

Axel, human; Ace's boyfriend

Valiksis, Eliksni; bartender on board the Morning Star

Val'Urath, Cabal; mentor of Comet

Tankha/The Stardancer, Human; Morning Star Crew

Sarviiks, Eliksni; House Salvation defect

Phyliis, Eliksni; daughter of Star and Sarviiks

Hiriiks, Eliksni; son of Star and Sarviiks

Balriiks, Eliksni; son of Star and Sarviiks

Tharvi/Narvi, Eliksni; son of Star and Sarviiks

Tamarin, Ghost; Kookaburra's Ghost

Chip, Ghost; Ace's Ghost

Whirl, Ghost; Star's Ghost

Pup, Ghost; Nebula's Ghost

Elytra, Ghost; Atlas' Ghost

Synapse, Ghost; Mastermind's Ghost

Redrum, Ghost; Diavolo’s Ghost

Morrigan, Ghost; Cernunnos’ Ghost

Grandeur, Ghost; Kinkajou’s Ghost

Glimmer, Ghost; Comet’s Ghost

Greased Lightning/Greaser, Ghost; Axel's Ghost

Sapa, Ghost; Tankha’s Ghost

Screech, Vex Harpy; “Domesticated”

Here's a list of my fics to go read!

paradise unforgiven -- destiny fic inspired by paradise lost, about the traveler and the witness.

welcome home, son -- destiny fic about ace

[elkiwifuckedyourmom]

tw suicide? not from me though, just analyzing something recent.

i just read a message from my sister in the family group chat (just my mom, her, and me) that said " i love you so much" (as in singular) that was sent at 10pm, its now 3am. I went to sleep at 8pm so i couldnt talk to her about this.

Her door is closed but not locked, im scared that if i open it i might see her body. If she is still alive then i wake her up and she'll be mad at me (shes always been the cranky kind).

She studies medicine and works on field so there is also a case where she found a family dead ir something and just put it in the chat how much she loves us?

idk if that's the case since whenever she is home she is always grumpy or mad and always goes out of her way to not be with us even when the opportunity is there. my mom and I love her, and my mom especially has tried talking to her about if she has any problems and that she'll be always for her. (my mom is loving as both a mother and a person, she loves us both very much, putting this just in case you thought she wasn't).

my mom knows that mental health is important and is very willing to pay for a psychologist, therapist, or a psychiatrist. She has told my sister about this but from what I know she has only gone once.

I passed through my sister's door on the way to get water and sniffed the door cracks just in case I could smell something amiss (I know recently dead bodies defecate and urinate).

Hanging would be a no go since the only thing there is is a faulty curtain hanger, the other option would be cutting but that would've made a mess. what I'm leaning on is overdose but other that the empty melatonin gummies jar I saw 3 months ago there isn't anything else that I know that would've caused this.

just went to her door to listen if I could hear breathing but door won't let me, just some what I hope is movement from her part, there is still no smell. the cats would've known.

if she does turn up to be dead then it's better to wait for it to be day time since I don't want to wake my mom up to see the body of her daughter at 3:30am

but I hope that isn't the case, Fati aun no mueras.

i think i heard i noise from her room

[lumentears]

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it's my blog i will deathloop post if i feel like it please take my silly quiz

36 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 14. Februar 2022

#4

Some Headcanons on Pandora's fauna

Just pretend that I've ripped these headcanons straight from Sir Hammerlock's almanach. Read it in his voice if you want.

Skags

A skag's armor is made of hardened bone structure, and, much like the tusks of earth's babirusa, never stop growing, even to the detriment of the creature itself. When a skag reaches a certain age where their heavy armor hinders movement and frequently causes them to overheat, they are left behind by their pack - or, when food is scarce, cannibalised.

As extreme omnivores, they have evolved an immunity to just about every bacillus and poison Pandora has to offer. In fact, their gut flora is so noxious, improperly prepared skag meat may kill just as many people as the creature did when it was still alive and kicking.

While their digestive system may seem terribly inefficent (regurgitation of indigestible matter pushes out recently eaten, undigested food as well), skags have evolved to make this deficit an efficient hunting strategy: By, and there is no delicate way to put it, projectile vomiting/defecating onto prey and stalking it at a distance until they succumb to infection, they are able to take on much larger prey such as bullymongs.

Bullymongs

Their thick, dense coat does not only protect them from the elements, but is an adaptation the bullymongs went under in order to defend against the previously discussed skag hunting strategy. Their fur is water repellant and can protect their skin from the noxious fluids expelled by skag stomachs.

Their main diet contains very little meat, and they never hunt for food, preferring to scavenge meat instead - this doesn't make them any less deadly though, as bullymongs are notoriously territorial and aggressive.

Instead, they mainly use their strong forearms to dig up roots, grubs, eggs and newborn threshers. Even in their inhospitable habitats, their burrows extend deep enough to find what little plant matter is hiding under ice or ash.

Rakk

Before human colonisation of Pandora, Rakk were largely unagressive. It is believed that they attached themselves to then common megafauna to feed, though whether this was a symbiotic relationship seen in cleaner fish or rather a parasitic one is not known. Given that it's Pandora we're talking about, it's generally assumed to be the latter.

With humans largely exterminating Pandora's megafauna for fun and profit, rakk have recently become more aggressive, swooping down from the skies to attack any prey they can reasonably take down in large numbers.

The animal known as a rakk hive does in fact have another name, a rather vulgar one at that given its facial structure. However, it is rare to still see one alive that has not been infested by a colony of rakk who use its large body to protect and warm their young.

Threshers

Threshers can only thrive near water, as soft, wet ground aids their burrowing and they can only reproduce in large bodies of water.

The Hyperion corporation soon produced warning signs cautioning folks approaching thresher infested waters. However, local bandits immediately took notes and began what was called the great switcheroo - stealing the signs and denoting clean lakes as dangerous and vice versa, giving them exclusive access to potable water and entertainment as they watched unsuspecting bots and workers get devoured. Hyperion soon found out about this tomfoolery and attempted to correct the signage, causing even more confusion. Thusly, the signs lost their function, and when seeing a lake noted as "infested with threshers" one has about a 50/50 chance of becoming a thersher's dinner.

A Thresher's eyesight is actually very poor, it relies instead on its sensitive tentacles feeling differences in vibration and air temperature. The many sensitive "eyes" on their head and tentacles are in fact ganglia, giving them more individual control over their limbs. Funnily enough, this can lead to wires getting crossed and tentacles fighting each other for food.

Stalkers

Despite their fearsome reputation, stalkers are physically quite weak. In order to accomodate their ability to fly short distances, their bones are hollow and easy to break. In addition, their eyes which are placed underneath their split jaws are easily damaged even on accident and, due to their location, the animal in question can't see what's in front of its face as soon as it opens its mouth. Nice work there, mother nature.

In order to make up for these disadvantages, stalkers rely on ambush tactics, their high mobility and ranged spike attacks to overwhelm their prey. They are very prone to "hit and run" tactics. Succinctly put, they are invisible assholes.

Once a stalker has bitten down on a prey item, it is physically incapable of letting go until the prey is fully swallowed. More stalkers die from overestimating their deepthroating prowess than predation by hunters every year.

Varkids

Varkids are, objectively and scientifically speaking, the worst.

54 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 26. April 2022

#3

Deathloop visionaries ranked by how likely I'd be to trust them to look after my cat for a day, sorted from least to most likely

Of course, this list assumes that somehow, somewhere, there exists a perfect loop in which I can obtain the necessary bait or blackmail to make each of the visionaries actually agree to watch my cat. Yes, even Wenjie.

9: Fia

Listen, it’s not that I think Fia would set out to hurt my cat. To the contrary, I think she’d be quite taken by my cute little fuzzy kitty…for about 5 minutes. Then she’d quickly grow bored, get distracted, and forget my cat ever existed, leaving it to roam the halls of a NUCLEAR GOD DAMN POWERSTATION filled with probably toxic paint fumes.

Rating: Voted most likely to forget to put airholes in the crate she uses for transport.

8: Alexis

In this perfect loop where I’ve convinced Alexis to look after my cat, I honestly believe he would do his best. His best just happens to be piss poor. I’d come back and find he shaved my cat to make it look more badass, or tried to teach it to attack people on command.

Rating: Voted most likely to get bitten by my cat and be too proud to get it checked out, dying of sepsis a week later.

7: Charlie

Listen, I love this absolutely rotten disaster of a rat man as much as the next neurodivergent person, but there are two things the man needs in his life in order to approximate a stable human being: Charlie needs everything to go to plan and everyone to do as he says, two principles cats are not known for adhering to. I just don’t trust the guy to be calm and reasonable when he finds out that cat hair got into 2-BIT’s interior mechanisms and fucked the thing up beyond repair.

Rating: Voted most likely to tell my cat to get the fuck out of his room cause he’s playing Minecraft.

6: Wenjie

I might have a massive crush on Wenjie, but I won’t mince words: Wenjie Evans doesn’t give a crap whether my cat lives or dies. She does however give a crap about lab safety, or more precisely, keeping her vials of science junk safe from being knocked off a desk by a bored animal in search for enrichment. My cat will be probably be fine, but feel very neglected.

Rating: Voted least likely to ever, in an infinite number of loops across infinite timelines, agree to petsit.

5: Julianna

I just don’t think Julianna is a pet person. Caring for something fragile isn’t the way she shows love, her love language is spending multiple lifetimes worth of time figuring out the most effective way to hunt you down and kill you. She’d probably just put out a bowl of kibble and a bowl of water and leave it alone for the most part.

Rating: Voted most likely to be the kind of person that lets my cat scoop alive goldfish out of a bowl as a way of “playing”.

4: Colt

This one is admittedly a little tricky, given that we see various Colts in various states throughout the game, some of them definitely more suited to catsitting than others. So, here’s the thing: You just can’t put a cat into a tunnel with water so cold that standing in a puddle of it for a few seconds will kill a grown man. Sure, he’ll probably have a generator and some space heaters down there, and he’s got plenty of time to spare so why not just spend a loop relaxing and looking after a cat, but still: His tunnels are not cat safe.

Rating: Voted most likely to talk to my cat in a silly voice and answering for it in an even sillier voice.

3: Frank

While I think Frank is more of a dog person, he’s got nothing against cats. And he did promise me to look after it, and while Frank is many things, he’s not a man who goes back on his word. So while he may not be the most enthused about catsitting, he will make sure my cat is safe and warm and fed. He might even bond with it a little, after crumpling up a scrapped version of his new WIP, yeeting it across the room in frustration and watching my cat pounce on it.

Rating: Voted most likely to watch my cat and be, like, normal about it. Just doing a favour for a friend.

2: Harriet

Now, I know many people in this fandom see her as a cartoonishly evil cult leader. And yes, she absolutely is, but she also appreciates the little things about life, just the tiny moments of happiness. I think after an exhausting morning of ritually killing a guy in toxic gas because he annoys her, she would love to wind down with a purring cat in her lap!

Rating: Voted most likely to just fuck off to wherever she goes after her ceremony and never give my cat back.

1: Egor

Now here’s a guy who would actually love a cat. Think about it, he wants to be left alone and in peace, but he also desperately wants attention. That’s like, the character trait cats are known for. The cat can just chill with him, maybe on a tiny little replica apparatus for parallel play, and he has someone to talk to who won’t mock him and who will give him some affection. Also, we love a deranged scientist snuggling a cat, that’s just a top notch character trope.

Rating: Voted most likely to actually, maybe, get just a little bit better with a therapy animal.

84 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 10. Februar 2022

#2

Borderlands 2 Locations rated by how well I would fare there as an ice cream truck driver, sorted by worst to best

DLC locations excluded because I'm a broke bastard and the list is long enough as it is.

19: Caustic Caverns

There's nothing there! The only customers I would get are Threshers and Varkids, both of whom I have a boiling, seething hatred for, and there's acid lakes everywhere! That'll ruin my truck! All I'd have for company would be Elyse Booth's severely depressing echos and the (frankly bangin') ambient track.

Most requested flavour: Varkids love the taste of soft, tender ice cream vendor.

18: Southern Shelf

Have you ever looked at a glacier and thought: Yes, that's the perfect place to have me some of that cold sugar cream? Me neither! And given Captain Flynt's propensity for torture I don't think it's the safest turf to drive a truck through. My one (1) customer would be Sir Hammerlock way up on Liar's Berg, and he'd mostly buy my stuff out of a sense of obligation and pity. Also Claptrap is there.

Most requested flavour: Minty Chocolate, by Sir Hammerlock and Sir Hammerlock only.

17: The Bunker

I bet Angel's never had ice cream. I bet Angel's not allowed to have ice cream. I bet I'd just make myself sad trying to describe the taste the different flavours I have to her, knowing full well she'll never sample them.

Most requested flavour: Berry Mix, most requested but never eaten as again, Jack won't let me through to the control core.

16: Wildlife Exploitation Preserve

Not only do I have to listen to the screams of victims of torture and experimentation, I also have to contend with all manner of starving and mistreated beasts attracted to the smell of my truck. And as cute as they are, I'm pretty sure having a puking skag try to get into your freezer is unsanitary.

Most requested flavour: All of the contents of my truck, after it's been flipped over by hungry skags for the third time this week.

15: Arid Nexus

Now that's just a depressing locale. Nobody sees the ruins of their former home and thinks man, I could go for some soft serve right now. And once again, my clientel would consist of mostly bandits, so I get to be vaguely sad and constantly fearing for my life and cream.

Most requested flavour: Pistachio, a sad flavour for sad people stuck in the past.

14: Sawtooth Cauldron

Is a bitch to navigate even on foot, you think I can get my ice cream truck through there? I get hopelessly lost there even when I can somehow get myself from Point A to Point B situated 100 feet below without shattering my ankles along with every other bone in my body, you think my truck can handle these stunts?

Most requested flavour: Rocky Road - nuts to crack a bandit's teeth and marshmallow to pull them out.

13: Opportunity

Now initially, Opportunity scores some points by being a clean environment filled with workers who have experience with the process of exchanging money for goods and services. Naturally, these workers only have a five second break to work with, so I would probably have to invest in some kind of ice cream cannon to immediately transfer that milky goodness into the workers' waiting mouths. All that's left is to become a class traitor and completely sell out - and become an asset of the Hyperion corperation for life and after death.

Most requested flavour: Hyperion's™ © ® Handsome Jack's™ © ® Butt Stallion's™ © ® Glitter Cream.

12: Lynchwood

We have canon evidence that there is a demand for ready-to-eat cuisine in Lynchwood, given their grilled skag stands. With my truck, the Lynchwoodians don't even have to cross the street to get their fix, I'll come straight to their doorstep! My only problem is Nisha, and the iron fist she rules her kingdom (sheriffdom?) with. Do I trust myself to run an ice cream truck without breaking any laws? Given that while writing this I am literally listening to the Borderlands UST which I priated I absolutely don't.

Most requested flavour: Malaga (rum soaked raisins). It's Nisha's favourite. All other flavours are illegal.

11: The Fridge

I know that the general code of conduct when you see someone shoplifting is to ignore it, but when there's a tunnel rat up to their elbows in a tub of soft serve, I've got a health code violation on my hands - or rather, on theirs. On the plus side, I just know these rats are always, always hungry and Laney has proven that with some kindness shown they're ready to act like a person and consider alternatives to cannibalism.

Most requested flavour: That One Fucked Up Old Bay Seasoning Ice Cream From The Brian David Gilbert Video, You Know The One.

10: Eridium Blight

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

254 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 25. April 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

Garreg Mach students ranked by how popular their tumblr blog would be, from least to most

Popularity is measured not only by follower count, but also their general notoriaty in the tumblr dot hell ecosystem.

Ashen wolves sadly excluded because this list is long enough and I wish to see the sun again sometime today.

24. Leonie

I say this with a mind free of judgement and a heart full of love, but Leonie is a Facebook user. She doesn't really get tumblr, since for her social media is mainly to keep up with her people back in Sauin village, and you can not tell me that a community of mainly hunters uses anything other than Facebook to show off their latest game.

Most popular post: Her introduction post. Liked by Byleth and Byleth only.

23. Dimitri

He uses his tumblr as a personal vent blog whenever he is having a Mental Health Moment™ and deletes everything he posted the day later. He sits on an ask box full of concerned anons he can't bring himself to either acknowledge or delete.

Most popular post: His posts get liked in the """"traumacore"""" space but since he immediately deletes them it's hard to gaige exact metrics.

22. Hubert

You fool! He has 70 alternative accounts! And he uses all of them to send anon hate to his enemies and publish callout posts on those who seek to oppose Lady Edelgard.

Most popular post: "Lord Varley is a terrible person that deserves to be deplatformed and beheaded and here's why"

21. Ashe

His tumblr is for things he personally enjoys, he doesn't really post much original content. He reblogs from Bernadetta and Ferdinand and every single credible gofundme he can get his fingers on.

Most popular post: That time Felix baited him into a lengthy argument over the ethics of shoplifting.

20. Raphael

Reblogs warriormale like it's his god damn job. Occaisonally posts workout videos too, but for some reason Ignatz is REALLY bad at getting the camera to focus whenever Raphael is on screen.

Most popular post: Raphael was very enthusiastic about warriormale's drop that towel!!! post, much to the amusement of many immature people online.

19. Petra

Petra has a travel blog, mostly to document her experiences in Fódlan and get her into the habit of writing in her second language. It's mostly for her own sake, so she isn't fussed about getting followers.

Most popular post: A video titled "Me and my best girl friend at the beach". Every single one of the notes are a variation of "girl is that Dorothea Arnault 👀👀👀". She never confirms or denies this and her next update is about her catching the cold for the fifth time this year.

18. Linhardt

No queue, no tags, no system, Linhardt posts whatever holds his interest. An absolute nightmare for the novice to follow, but students with a little bit of patience can unearth many a pirated textbook.

Most popular post: A masterlist of crestology textbooks. Reblog to save a student's life!

17. Ingrid

Mostly vaguely feminist theory and book recs. Sometimes extremely personal ventposting. People who know her irl pretend not to know it is her as to not make her uncomfortable.

Most popular post: That one time she got kungpowpenised on one of her more...problematiqué opinion pieces.

16. Lysithea

Okay folks hear me out - she totally has a super secret fandom blog. She pretends that it is for the sole purpose of pointing and laughing at fandom drama as she herself is above that fandom-brained nonsense, but Goddess have mercy on your sinful soul if you provoke her into sharing her hot takes.

Most popular post: A 14k word essay on disability in the warrior cats book series.

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

604 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 31. Mai 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[elatxs]

Headcanon 005. - Past, Present & Future

BEFORE YOU CONTINUE: Under the cut is heavily triggered content. The following list of triggers consist of:

Rape/Molestation

Self Harm

Defecation

Child Abuse

Animal Abuse

Physical Abuse

Drug Abuse

Gore/Horror

THE SHORT AND SWEET POINT, IS THAT HADYN HAS TRUST ISSUES WITH PEOPLE GETTING TOO CLOSE AND CONSENT IS SOMETHING HE HEAVILY ADDRESSES TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE

      Hadyn was born in the depths of a volcano, right as Earth was forming, before the dinosaurs and early creatures had come into existence. He was alone for most of his life as a phoenix bird, hiding and keeping away from dangerous predators. He wasn’t always so lucky, being eaten and defecated to only be reborn again in a pile of shit and ashes. He grew up fast, learning to stay hidden, to stay safe.

      But when mankind had evolved from whatever God or creatures that had came to be, he was even more on edge. Humans would try to hunt him, cage him, kill him, eat him. Anything they could do to ruin a beautiful and new creature. Hadyn became weary of humans, moving as far as he could go to get away from human hands. But being so young and so weak, he had very limited strength and power. Curiosity also got the best of him at times, learning and watching humans and their ways.

      When the Dark Ages came around, and magic was starting to become unearthed, Hadyn was captured by a strange old man by the name of Merlin. Merlin was kind, however, only wishing to study the bird and offer food and warmth to Hadyn. At this point, Hadyn wasn’t even a name to be given, he was just a black bird infused with unimaginable power.

      Merlin promised Hadyn, that should he help him become apart of humanity, to make him seem like a human so he could possibly be safer, Hadyn would be taken as an apprentice. Hadyn agreed, eager for safety by any means. And thus, did Merlin provide him a spell to shift between bird and boy.

      At first, being human seemed problematic, with speech, walking, eating and everything inbetween. He would learn of the old language Latin and catch up on some broken English as well. But Hadyn was a fast learner and became almost accustomed to walking, rather than flying. But he grew a rebellious attitude as well, disobeying Merlin frequently and altogether stealing some of his magic wares ( spell books, a never ending bag and a chest with thousands of storage capacities ) and fleeing from the old wizard.

      But with a new body, came new dangers. Hadyn’s new human body could only grow with the correct nourishment and good physical attributes to accompany it. Taking care of himself within times of poverty was not always easy. As well as being an orphaned, child, in the eyes of mankind. And thus, was he captured again.

      Sold into slavery, or taken as a hostage, Hadyn had no strength through his travels to put up a good fight. His powers still in tact, he was labeled as a freakshow or a demon, which led to many ultimate deaths and displays of humility. Time progresses and even his body begins to change with the abuse.

      Slaveholders would use him as a prostitute, letting him be handled in many more ways than one. Drug overdoses to keep him quiet, torture and threats to keep him still, Hadyn has not been considered a virgin for many, many centuries. His trust in mankind faded all too quickly, even in the body of a boy.

      Traveling, running, exploring, fighting, building up strength, Hadyn fled from continent to continent, using any resources he had. His childlike appearance never growing due to lack of food and well being.

      World War II comes around, and Hadyn flees to Northern Europe. This is where he discovers he may have a name. A Welsh woman had found the boy in the fields of her farm, scolding him and taking him into her home as he was caught stealing crops. Hadyn, fearing the worse, put up a good fight with a fling of his fists. But the woman’s promise of food was overwhelming, and being the gullible and starving boy he is, he accepted. The woman, a name he cannot remember, was a widow to a former soldier. She lived on a plantation alone and sought only the company of others. Though she was strict in her ways, making Hadyn work for his food with chores, she was the first human to ever show nothing but affection and comfort to the boy. And with his spitfire attitude, the Welsh widow came to name the boy Hadyn, meaning fire in her mother tongue.

      Although the stay with the widow was nice, Hadyn found that he could not stay in the comfort of such a tiny home. To watch the widow age, broke his heart and made him decide that he must leave. Taking his few belongings from Merlin, he decided he’d take a favor for himself as well; a silver flask, the crest of a lion’s head engraved into the front, would be another keepsake. The widow’s husband had taken to the taste of whiskey and Hadyn decided he would as well. With no goodbye’s, Hadyn fled into the night.

       Hadyn found with time ever changing, he would begin to grow with food being provided through orphanages and handouts. He’d become more muscular, more lean and much more prominent on his own powers and abilities. He continued to travel, grew to fight and defend himself from the evils of mankind. He promised to protect those who could not, so they would not endure what he had felt; children mainly.

      And at the present, he is now full grown, learning that he can change his fate and change the world around him with this human form he’s accustomed to. He can burn the impurities and arise a new future for himself. But he’ll keep his head low for now, as the world still has trouble accepting new things, even from the past to the tomorrow.

[mapsontheweb]

In the world there are more people with a mobile phone than with a bathroom, or what is the same: 2/3 of the world's population do not have a proper bathroom at home. Access to a bathroom is a step towards eradicating poverty

by @elordenmundial

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

Okay I'm halfway through Tool's series and I absolutely adore it, it's terrifying but I love it. I do have one question though. When he's in the machine...how does he defecate?

TW: Talk of bodily functions.

Honestly anon? I don't care lol. I don't pretend to write realistically, and I don't mean that as a dig! I just ... don't...

It's a bodily function. The Machine takes care of all bodily functions so *vague hand gestures*

[a-night-at-the-masquerade]

FORTUNATO YOU BLUENETTE SLUT ANSWER MY QUESTION

NO

[grandtorinaa]

Obey Me Bathroom Headcannons (Undateables/Side Hoes Squad)

Uhhh obligated italics blurb I'll link the brothers set of bathroom headcannons here later. Edit: it is now later

Diavolo has rubber duckies n shit don't @ me, he and barb go bath bomb shopping together and Barbatos (aka Barbie) will lowkey have fun criticising them and rating bath bombs

Diavolo has also had shared platonic baths and stuff with Barb too don't @ me he and Barb play with rubber duckies

Luke pees sitting down, he does I feel it in my bones

Levi pees sitting if he's using a game

Simeon is very polite in the bathroom but once he walked in on Luke and when he saw him later, Simeon was like "I hope everything was okay in there sport" and Luke just dies on the inside

Solomon once did a spell and pissed from his mouth and was immediately BANNED from ever doing it again

Simeon has very respectable shitting habits, and he probably flushes while it's coming out to keep the toilet from clogging. But sometimes he just uses the bathroom a and takes a whole 5-8 minute shower afterwards.

Solomon wipes like this

Snatches it right out, he just be digging.

But like he probably just magics himself so he doesn't need to use the bathroom unless he's just in the mood to take a really nice shit and just decides to.