#u just *know* theyll try to push them away

[tfshouldidohere]

Anime characters who are flirty? Mayhaps

Anime characters who put up a mask of cheeriness and a flirtatious attitude in order to hide the fact that they're emotionally empty but they also only live for the one thing they love and are passionate about? Yes

[apollotronica]

APOLLO CAN U TELL ME ABOUR ON E OF UR OCS.. i was thinkin about how hearing u talk ab them kinda inspired me to actually pick my projects back up and also i think they r sick as helll :3 pretty pleaase ? ./NF!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

OKAY SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY I WAS STUCK IN THE LABRYNTH (i couldnt decide which oc to talk about) BUT i relauzed i havent really talkrd about hiiro at all on here :3 EVERYTHING UNDER CUT and ill format it like i formatted the buwan post :3

this hiiro (left image most recent) ignore thr typology on the right its outdated

fun facts :3

likes: warm cloudy weather, bright lights, computers and technology, large cities, classic literature, anatomy and neurology, strong flavors, squid ink pasta

dislikes: most people, sunny days, manual labor, following orders, bland food, going outside, trains and train stations, getting wet

nationality: japanese

relatives: (adoptive) mother and father, elder sister (pacchi, 2 years older), younger sister (heru, 3 years younger)

early life (sort of???) (cw child injury/neglect, bullying, ableism?)

disclaimer i havent Fully fleshed out its backstory so this will just be a large summary of . stuff that Occured

hiiro and his sisters were put up for adoption almost immediately after heru was born (hiiro being 3, pacchi being 5) and they took turns taking care of her bcuz their parents were too "busy" to hire babysitters. hiiro and pacchi got into a fight while heru (like toddler age atp) tried to break them up. because hiiro has always been quick to anger and sort of physical, when heru tried to intervene his first instinct was to push her as hard as he could while yelling at her to stay out of it, it doesnt involve her . errmm aftermath of that argument was . heru got permenant brain damage and hiiro and pacchis relationship Completely broke apart :[ aww womp womp . Ok fast forward . heru is homeschooled by a tutor and hiiro and pacchi are both in junior high. pacchi is popular and friendly and pretty, but her grades are lacking . hiiro has always been incredibly smart (even though pacchi is 2 years older, he skipped a school year or two and is in her same year), but his social life is miserable . because of his temper and Overall Unfriendliness he was put in separate classes away from his peers where he was the only student under a teacher who didnt care about hiiro or Pretty much anything . it wasnt seen often but when he Was seen he was beat up n bullied relentlessly n followed home , so a lot of the time he spent nights hidden in the school or in damp alleys because he didnt want to lead anyone dangerous back to pacchi and heru . when he Was home pacchi ignored him and heru would try to make conversation but hiiro was Pretty much entirely nonverbal during their school years . at home hiiro drew and wrote and played like anyone else his age but bcuz hiiro looked different and sounded different and acted different it ended up outcast and alienated :[ womp womp

career ??

aaaanyway yada yada hiiro graduates early n basically disappears into researching neurology n brains n Specifically how theyre "programmed" , they end up lowkey kidnapping a couple people to experiment on them w a janky "neuroprogramming" device that, once hes sure is Safe To Use , hiiro uses on itself :3 the way proples brains show up on the device isnt like an mri or anything , the way it shoes up actually Depends on the person so sometimes itll be a short rpg or lines of code or Minesweeper and because hiiro Made the device they can decipher what each brain thing means and collects data based off that . but because what he does is Very illegal the government eventually tracks him down and forces it to work w them or theyll Krill him .

fun facts part Two :3

hiiro has only had alcohol Once and despite being of legal age they were kicked out for looking too young . he cant hold his liquor

he frequents a gaming cafe and knows all the staff by name but is too embarrassed to be seen in front of other people , so it rents out the whole cafe when it wants to go

hiiro has 3 cats and they are all Huge

after he Reappeared hiiro actually reconnected w his sisters and visits them as often as possible . Its not very affectionate at all though

i actually made his voice claim miyashita yuu . the songs where hes louder and yelling r more what i was thinking at the time , but i think miyayuu's soft speaking voice works as well

all the sleeves on their sweaters are slightly tethered and frayed because he fidgets with them while working . the right sleeve is more torn than the left

he doodles in his free time and has posted a couple oneshots on obscure manga forums . they dont keep up with them but one of them ended up getting really popular

hiiro Loves scifi . his entire apartment is decorated in super lame and obscure scifi anime posters and figures

THANKIES !!!

[idyllic-affections]

🌻 its cruel of anyone to push someone away from their own culture just cuz they dont fit the "standards" or whatever other shit 💔 ohhh u dont know the language— stfu first of all learning a language is hard. im bilingual and its hard for ME to learn any other language. i had german and spanish in school and i simply could not learn any of them and same goes for any other language i tried to learn on my own!! i learned nothing in the end even tho ive been learning english since first primary, meaning i already should have some experience in learning a new language. but i dont. and second of all no one should ever demand proof from anyone that they are a part of this culture or whatever like!!

it’s not only annoying but also fucked up that people have the sheer audacity to set stupid requirements for OTHER PEOPLE'S identity. one's identity can be so hard and sensitive of a topic and having someone try to police u in this matter, try to tell u that no sorry u dont know the language/culture so u cant call urself that— i genuinely have no respect for people who act like this

and third of all idk man if someone came to me and said "hi i want to learn more about poland and the culture because i have polish family" (because suurprise!! im polish too!!!!) id be more than happy to tell them everything i know. even if i might not be the best knowledge source AHAJSJDKDK they dont know polish? or anything abt poland?? they just learned their family is polish??? it simply doesnt matter this person wants to learn more about themselves and im more than happy to cheer on them and hope that theyll learn everything they want. and that theyll never feel excluded out of something they deserve to have place in

this got a little long but as u can tell i got very passionate about this topic 😭😭😭 it annoys me so hard how unhuman some people can be

SOO TRUE it's so invalidating ESPECIALLYYYYY when it's always other latino or hispanic people telling me. bro please. i am doing my best here 🙏🙏

i tried for years to learn spanish and it NEVER clicked in my brain. i know basic spanish and basic french (i had to take a foreign language class a few years back so i took french 1) that's it. Please. learning a language takes so much practice and patience and the issue with learning spanish is that my pronounciation will inherently be more "white" because erm. yeahh. english is the only language i've ever spoken fluently. and for some reason, there are many native spanish speakers think it's funny to make fun of mispronounciations? so now i'm scared to practice because of that. 🫶 it's not cute or funny and it's never been in intended an affectionate way. but i am also mentally ill and neurodivergent so that probably doesn't help AJKSFBJSLSHNFM idk man but it is NOT "all in good fun" it's EMBARRASSING!!!!!

IT'S GENUINELY SO FRUSTRATING why should i have to prove my ancestry to you? like. first of all that's really none of your business and second of all i literally do not have to prove anything?!?!?!?! no-one does?!?!?!?! no-one is somehow any less of their heritage simply because they don't know much about it. literally. it is so upsetting why can we not just let people live peacefully fr.

SOOO REALL i need to ask about it again because my maternal family is generally very open about this kind of thing, and it's easy to communicate with them because there is no language barrier between us. i would love to know more about myself. because my culture is something i deserve to have a part in, you know? it's literally in my blood. it is something i always was and always will be, and i feel like i have a right to want to learn about it.

nooo it's okay!!!! i completely get it. i feel like it's becoming very common for people to be less and less human. and it makes sense, given... you know. politics and everything lately. not to be political /lh but there is just a little too much hate being spread and i dislike that so much. many people have forgotten how to be kind and it's just???? very sad and upsetting.

[sanchoyo]

tangentially related to last text post, but kept separate bc its LONG WINDED about nothing Really, sapote is by far the funniest to just throw at other charas bc of how well she simply Rolls With The Punches. Commits to the Bit. shes a loud, funny extrovert and inflicts psychic damage on everyone's brain cells (affectionate) just by being in their proximity fr.

-her and persimmon grew up together right? like theyre cousins, and they have that dynamic of 'ohh its bully on SIGHT TARGET SPOTTED (COMING IN FOR THE ELBOW DROP)' 'NO NO GET AWAY LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FREAK' energy that comes with having older cousins (or is. that just me having a million cousins myself. sajdfsdf) shes. actually really surprised persimmon made the effort to come to earth, that shes NOT on the same side as her, and does take it a liiiitle personally and get her feelings hurt. but not enough to NOT still fight her on sight. this is not a NEW thing for them. like before leaving their planet it was still 'ohoho i see persims. going to run full speed at her and headbutt her' energy but now its just. ramped up in intensity yk.

-her and mira have the worlds longest contest of being committed to the Bit. the Bit in this case being sapote pretending to Get everything mira says and 'yes and'ing her to death. sapote really DOES love miras attitude and thinks shes sooo funny with how eager she is, and mira is just devastated sapote is being so patronizing and not taking her seriously. but like. mira commits SO hard to the aesthetic of Being a Magical girl and gets meta about it, and sapote will just. in turn match that energy and commit super hard to being a hammy cartoon villain complete with campy little outfits and speeches bc shes a messy improv theater girlie and this makes mira SOOO HAPPY. they play off each others energy SO well if its just the two of them that show up to a fight theyll just monologue at each other for 3 hours then leave w/out throwing hands at all

-sapote is Reasonably Sort Of Frightened by Aqua and Machines In General. but also sapote is one of the few ppl who CAN stand to fight aqua without experiencing Immediate Death, which is Great! she ends up fighting her 90% of the time her and cara go to earth, because, cara is Small and Sapote's Responsibility, and we cant let Mrs Murderbot over here Hurt Our Little Cara :( (aqua is asking sapote very sweetly to stop fighting during all of this btw. and sapote is like NUH UH IM NOT falling for these ALGORITHM TRICKS i KNOW as SOON as we surrender (which we will not do bc we r not COWARDS) u will Terminator Us. and aquas like omg no i wont :( btw how do u know terminator movies :( on aquas side its very much her not understanding sapote, her jokes or her mannerisms at all and also being a Little Nervous around her. the mutual 'you kind of freak me out' solidarity they could have...

-cara and sapote are THEE starting duo. for reference cara is, to sapote, a small angry teenage girl who trembles like a chihuahua and should Not Be Here, but Queen Trusted her with cara so she HAS to keep an eye on her. like. this is HER little buddy and she takes this responsibility VERY seriously. overbearingly so. sapote is, a 20s something year old disaster who by all accounts has a low sense of self preservation, NO respect for authority, or sense for whats too Far sometimes. and yet. and YET. in her mind shes like. yeah im gonna be the BEST role model :) for this teenager :) ever :)

but inwardly shes a little offput by cara. in the sense that she…worries why shes here, yknow, bc shes young, shes here on the ship ALONE with no other humans, and cara is SO closed off, QUEEN knows why cara wants to be here supposedly, and she okayed it, so sapote should trust her and not push too hard or she could scare cara into being even more emotionally closed off!!! sapote hashes out The Jokes but genuinely. is trying. very hard to get cara to LIKE her and to TALK to her (unfortunately this freaks cara out and she clams up even harder ajkdfhkj but the effort should count for something. to her credit sapote never had an angsty phase she was always the class clown when she was caras age so she has NO frame of reference but by god is she TRYING. via taking cara on fun little Villain Sprees, but STILLLL.)

cara is also inadvertently the reason sapote starts learning a lot more abt earth and its cultures bc shes trying SO dang hard to connect to her and thinks this will help. but then looking from caras side, at her Inner Thoughts its like oh :( :( [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] just. the two of them forced to have an honest convo is so HARD bc of how much cara closes herself off ESPECIALLY from sapote, and how much shes not afraid to be a bit mean and play the 'youre being overbearing leave me ALONE' card to sapote, who wants to be the Cool Fun Alien Cara can Trust :") she wants to have fun and joke around with cara, but ironically the human she ends up being able to do that with more is?? mira??? which is. funny in a horrible way. because They Are Not On The Same Side…she wants the human on Her Side to Feel Safe and Confide In Her More :( i need them locked in a room for hours untl cara TALKS. please (and this is a Thing I can Do since They Are My Ocs. will I? well. :) )

-Queen and sapote...u wouldnt THINK they would get along bc Queen seems So Proper and Polite and Sapote has NO filter and is rowdy and obnoxious, but. the second sapote enters a room queen perks up a little, her eyes light up, and shes Speed Walking over to her after excusing herself from whatever convo she was trapped in to get the Gossip. shes one of the few ppl queen actually relaxes around and confides in aside from Arilla, which speaks volumes about sapote (and is something cara constantly is BAFFLED by, and if u ask queen shes like uhhm no I dont play favorites of course not <3 I treat all u the same <3 but sapote actually does make her Laugh which is Much Needed to put it very lightly so.) meanwhile sapote sees Queens right hand man Arilla and IMMEDIATELY also starts picking on him and queen wont help bc she thinks its kind of Funny Too even if she wont Laugh Out Loud at him bc that would be ~mean~ </3 sapote is stealing this poor mans glasses and calling him twiggy and messing up his HAIR please help him.

anyway. its also just really fun throwing Sapote Into Situations with other characters because like. she is an adult in a magical girl series where the main charas NEED adult guidance and wisdom sometimes! but she doesnt have that. because shes a disaster 20s girlie. but god does she Feel that age difference a lot of the time. sooo much silly teenage drama shes rolling her eyes about and laughing over. and then theres Adultier Adults in the series, who are in their late 30s and 40s and 50s and having her interact with them is where things get REALLY fun.

she contains multitudes shes street smart and socially smart and an extrovert and a funnygirl and a cringefail girl and the Most Worst Disaster youve ever seen and makes HORRIBLE choices and lives off junk food and beer and is fighting ILL and still bodying people and one of Queens many meowmeow warriors but wiggled up to the top ranks by being SUPER meowmeow. and is having a GREAT time doing it. and she still loves her famiwy vewy much mwawh. and comes back to the ship to run to her sister in the daycare and throw gifts from earth to the alien kids. which is nice. but she totally stole those. because she contains multitudes. she HAS the range. shes kind of blorbo shaped, but also kind of tumblr sexyman shaped. i cannot elaborate further.

also sapote is way taller than all of them so she just. leans on them. looms. t poses. that meme of the guy floating scarily in the hallway after someone else. thats her 😌

[thevalleyoftriumph]

HAI !!!!!! HERE TO ASK ABOUT D00MBUG

👁️ 🤥 💥 😨 🌋 🙈🙉🙊

JESUS babe thatz a lotta emojiz /pos

thiz iz gonna be the au vers of them since u Did specify that in dmz

👁️ EYE - what colour are their eyes? do people notice their eyes? is there anything special about them (shows emotion easily, literally magical…)?

hmmmm. i dont think they actually have eyez tbh. itz just empty black with two little white lightz! ppl dont usually notice the fact therez nothing there unless they get close to em, they just see them az oddly colored eyez. nothing really special!

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they’re lying?

oh absolutely. little shit liez all the time bcoz they think itz funny. i dont think theyd have any OBVIOUS tellz, but for ppl who know them well itd be fairly obvious- they love to play up liez and stuff and be more .. idk smug? like theyre smug NORMALLY sure but they play it up a ton when lying to be a smirky and shit lol

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

all of them. you think thiz guy knowz how to tell apart emotionz? absolutely the fuck not!! who do you take them for. id say the onez they struggle w the most are frustration, anger, and fear. they just dont know how to deal w them or express thoze onez very well.

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into “flight” or “fight”?

actually, they go into "freeze" ! theyll just completely and literally lock up. if whateverz scaring them doeznt go away or lessen, then they CAN get pushed into "fight", where theyll be overly aggressive and assertive to try and get outta the situation.

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

hmmmm. instant explosion id say. they cant really tolerate much that pissez them off. annoyance iz a buildup, but genuine anger iz instantaneous.

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don’t want to show other people?

the fact theyre a somewhat murderous robot lol. end of story. they dont LIKE killing people - itz not their preferred method of dealing w shit, thatz mostly just fucking w them in other wayz - but they HAVE done it, and CAN and WILL do it again. but for the ppl they like, theyd rather thoze people Not know about that.

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

mmmmm. theyre very chatty in general, so itz hard to pinpoint something specific that they wouldnt shut up about. i genuinely cant think of anything for thiz one lol. maybe home?

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

augh okay. nothing specific would hurt them - itd have to be contextual. like, even the worst insultz you could think of wouldnt have much of an effect on them.

but.. a simple "goodbye," said in the context of whoever saying it never coming back? leaving them behind, or just about to destroy them? that. thatd be the worst.

[appledotcodotuk]

why the hive fckin suck at its job: a rant

spoilers for tgwdlm ahead!

first of all, it's important to consider what exactly the hive's job is. my answer is... who the fuck knows. literally. what is the hive's aim. what do you want Paul? more like, what do you want hive? let's find out!

it kinda evolves, as the play progresses. the intial aim of the hive, and one that does actually remain consistent is the constant burning need to grow and devour and gain more and more (insert capitalism metaphor here).

however, this is distorted by the people it possess who influence that aim, as we'll see later.

also the fact it crashes into a theatre displaying Mamma Mia gives the hive the motive it need to fit the world around it to the structure of the musical. having no originality of its own, the hive instead just picks up what is given to it. kinda like an evil baby.

it wants uniformity, that is indeed its ultimate goal and desire, no duh. it thinks it can achieve that through musical theatre, shame that the hive is dead wrong. cause the hive fucking sucks at its own job / aim / ultimate purpose / one concrete goal that motivates all its actions.

can't maintain control over its subjects

okay, so, the hive wants uniformity. it wants everyone to be dancing to the beat of its own tune. right? yeah. shame it literally can't keep its own possessed subjects in line at all. at the risk of sounding like the 10th doctor waxing lyrical abt humanity for the 50th time, humans are really difficult to control cause we're not really motivated by an altruistic allegiance to one primary good. we've got icky emotions that often move us to do stupid unpredictable stuff way more. it makes me wonder if the reason the hive wanted to use musical theatre to try and persuade ppl was cause it seems to think that is how theyll get emotive humans; through emotive songs. anyways. let's look at some examples shall weeeee?

Mr Davidson:

so, Mr Davidson. funnily enough, he's the guy whose in part acting as the hive trying to figure out what it wants through his interactions w/ Paul. every person it possess gives it just a bit more humanity and curiosity abt the world it is currently taking over. at least I think so. hence why as the musical develops u get character's like possessed!Alice wondering 'why does it hurt to love?' - the change in music and mood to something much more introspective really suggests to me that the hive is beginning to question the thoughts and emotions of its human hosts.

Mr Davidson is a family man through and through, he loves his wife Carol. she's his muse, his source of light. his feelings for her are not concrete or easy to explain and solve - hence why his sudden ahem demand of her is so hilarious and also jarring. it completely clashes with the 'I want song' which is simple, and often pushes forward a wider cause. not so with Mr Davidson, he just really loves his wife man. enough to break a frickin alien possession.

tbh I think its hilarious that (at least to me) the hive has to force him to forget and continue with the song, like, he straight up is just talking to his wife in that phone call, talking, not singing. so, no possession until he reverts back into song. ergo, the hive cannot maintain the uniformity it wants. even from the get go when theoretically its control should be stronger cause it has less ppl to co-ordinate. bad. at. its. job.

Paul:

this one hurts folks. yes, I know it's generally agreed, though somewhat debated that the state of Paul by the end of the tgwdlm is not purely possessed. I agree. once again, the hive is unable to truly enforce uniformity.

at this point, the motives of Paul and the hive are kinda just mixed, neither fully human nor fully alien. hence the constant shifts between pleeing for her to get away, to hide, to stay safe: 'what if the only choice is you have to sing to survive' and just full on old style hive nastiness 'let me puke in your mouth and just open your food bin girl' (so romantic 🥰 /j).

the hive has gone away from its original aim, and become something... different. no longer stuck to just one type of genre or style of song, it's really clever to show the developing complexity of the hive by showing how it is now juggling lots of different motifs with references to all the old songs from before recontextualised in a new way - its learning. evil baby... no longer uniform.

general miscommunication:

there are several instances of the hive not fully having uniform control over its subjects. for instance, right after not your seed with the three teens having to like... calibrate. they aren't just completely connected then?? also, this is a very small thing, but uhhhh at the end of inevitable when Paul is about to say the apotheosis is upon... the chorus interrupts him with USSSSSSS. interruptions??? not very in sync of u hive.

I think this inability to exert uniformity is also shown in the contrast between genre of musical theatre. my alien abomination cannot decide whether it wants to be the more modern edgy rock musical (join us (and die), not your seed ) or super happy go lucky old style musical theatre (lah dee dah dah day, and inevitable). it tries to do both, even while trying to encourage union, and sticking to one thing. hypocrite!!!!!

2. aims are guided by the people it possess

so, I mentioned this a bit already, but the hive isn't only mutating the humans, the humans are mutating the hive right back. this is more an interesting observation than any actual analysis but let's goooo.

greenpeace girl:

I think it's very likely that greenpeace girl is one of the first to be possessed. This is probably easily debunkable but whatever this analysis is flying by the seat or its pants anywayyyyy. why? cause where else would it pick up that whole 'this planet needs fixing' thing? it's interesting too, cause it morphs from expressing the desire to join hands and sing together, unity and peace with no actual action behind it. this then goes right to the other end, with the hive going 'fine I'll do it myself' and trying to save things by enforcing a dictatorship on the world. it develops and changes, and strays from its original means of accomplishing its aims! speaking oooooof...

3. inconsistent in means of accomplishing aims

okay, ur an evil hive mind. u think musicals are the way to win over these silly humans cause they're all weak and emotive and seem to respond to them. but, wait! schwoopsie! you haven't realised that for emotional depth and growth to mean anything, you need there to be established development and well... growth. otherwise the sentiments are as vague as the ones expressed in What Do You Want, Paul?

this show has genuine emotional moments, just not really during the musical numbers WITH EXCEPTIONS. any strife is smoothed over quickly, and so the development and change that would have to go into such growth is just gone. (see, You Tied Up My Heart) all so it can achieve its own desire to grow and grow and grow, maybe a metaphor for art being killed under late stage capitalism??

what actually matters is the impact the songs have afterwards, in causing a death - because we have a bond and care abt these characters. those short scenes between Paul and Emma are actually way more resonant than any song. except... inevitable, and also not your seed a bit. at this point the hive has learnt a thing or two, and can actually twist human emotion a little. but for it to do that, it has to reject the uniformity it prizes, and be adaptable. point towards being more human than it first thought? methinks so. and yet it's just not enough...

it's also why let it out, to me, feels really ingenuine. Paul has expressed himself in much better ways already. what they're doing is clearly paining him, and hurting the guy. he's terrified bless.

you can't force someone into being emotional vulnerable, man.

it's why all the deaths for the characters who are forced to express themselves are really violent, involving them being ripped open - literally forcing them to expose themselves from the 'inside out' as Alice reflects in Not Your Seed. you can't force genuine emotional connection, it has to be fostered, shown in the much more affecting relationship of Paul and Emma. the only reason the hive actually has power over our characters is because of these genuine emotional connections, which it tries and often fails to take advantage of, resulting in just resorting to brute violence. messy hive, very messy.

at the core, the musical's a kinda attack on that toxic positivity mindst: trying to force people to reach the sort of easy solutions by sharing feelings in a way that feels pretty invasive and deciding you are instantly fixed. the problems these characters face are jarringly not really what you'd expect a character in a musical to face, cheating, a lot of it, mid-life crisis. problems that are bland, or wayyyy too real. this is purposefully done, to reveal just how silly the hive's aim to use musical theatre to solve everyone's problem is. life is more complex than that smh.

4. a human can write a much more expressive, and genuine song than they ever could lol

u know which song I'm talking abt. what more is there to say. so much for making persuasive songs to tempt people over.

5. make me sad cause they took some perfectly nice ppl and funked them up 😭

this was a stupid point lol. basically I'm just bitter that this hive took a bunch of perfectly okay ppl and gave them hive brain. screw u hive. I swear I'm gonna watch Black Friday soon, cause I'm sure it's gonna completely destroy every thought I've had so far, but whateve,,, just take this as a look at tgwdlm like it's a stand-alone piece.

these guys are supposed to all be 'individuals' on one level, but also 'appendages of a much larger organism'. there's a little too much individualism and fracturing to be cohesive enough to do that I feel. the hive to me is not an infallible, unstoppable force, in fact, every human it takes over only brings it closer to understanding us. so that's maybe a slight positive note??? idk ?! I just have lots of thoughts and feelings abt this musical even if this doesn't make sense I'm proud i wrote it down hehe.

[matoitech]

Different anon but I would love to hear more about how Galo being autistic affects his relationship with Aina

oh i would love to talk about this cuz i think its an interesting example we have of galo being autistic and most other characters not rly making much effort to understand where hes coming from or connect w him! so first i gotta mention that in canon theres a lot of wiggle room for interpretation with aina and her and galos relationship just due to how little time its given, but to me it FEELS like they want her to be a parallel to galo (ESPECIALLY true w the lake scene) so sometimes she comes off more as like, also autistic and just doesnt rly mesh in communication styles or understanding why her own attempts at reaching out 2 galo arent working (same as he struggles w his relationship w aina and other ppl, and why theres so many songs abt him and lio Getting Each Other) so like autistic in an opposite direction from him, and sometimes (esp in the ova) it feels like shes meant to b read as allistic and thats why they arent rly meshing. i think the latter is probably more likely to be the intention but the former can b a lot of fun cuz autistic aina <3 anyway moving on

so like to make this more organized im gonna skim thru the ova and the major scene w them from the movie, galo and burning rescue meet in his ova when he introduces himself to them by way of bringing up his special interests and what he assumes are their shared passion for firefighting and everything that goes along w that. ive talked abt this b4 w this scene, but galo bringing his special interests in2 the convo right away and introducing them alongside himself is both a super common autistic way to try to connect w people as well as say hey this is what im about. that obviously doesnt go that well as we get our first introduction of how burning rescue is gonna treat him for the ova and duration of the movie, aina included, in being kind of rude to him (except remi whose very ableist compared to the others) abt it n immediately treating him like an idiot for trying to communicate w them the way thats natural for him. this kind of solidifies how theyll talk abt him and communicate w him for the movie, even as they gain some respect 4 him for saving thyma they dont change how they talk w/about him

im not gonna go over everything in the movie but the lake scene w galo and aina has the very obvious purpose of showing that galo isnt interested in like the potential woman love interest the movie is pushing at him but IS interested in lio, it also serves various other functions some of which being 1) exposition 2) introducing galo and aina as being more alike (paralleled even) than they can rly understand thru their previous attempts at getting 2 know each other 3) SHOWING more how aina and galo have not rly gotten along b4 and showing thru their faltering attempts 2 connect that even if they have stuff in common this is not the romance u r going to get i this movie and they just dont like each other like that

aina and galos communication styles and humor both feel different to me and dont mesh that well, theyre both blunt tho in different ways (aina even told heris galo was ‘honest and too blunt for his own good’ which i think is funny coming from her lol) like galo tries to be expressive and hes got this thing abt Proving himself while aina more quietly does her own thing, galos rly genuine and doesnt rly get that other ppl might not b being genuine (which is smth kr*y took advantage of to lie to him and manipulate him), aina however is rly dry so it comes off as barbed when i think its unintentional and while there r points when shes kind of mean i dont think shes like, going out of her way to hurt his feelings i just think she doesnt rly recognize that galo.. HAS feelings? theres a certain way burning rescue (and in general other characters in promare) treat galo where hes dismissed as being just an idiot for.. being autistic rly and i think thats just smth aina did b4 they had more of a chance to talk one on one and make more of an effort. i dont think she rly treats him the same way she did in the start of the movie and the ova as she does the further the movie goes on. they just didnt know each other very well and no one rly made much of an effort w him b4 then

the long and short of it is that from what we see in the movie it affects his relationship w aina a very similar way it does w burning rescue as general (they function sort of like a single character at times) and galo and aina having dif communication styles (galos very explicitely bcuz he is autistic) shows in making it harder for him to have like, genuine connections and relationships bcuz while galo and aina both sometimes try to extend olive branches to each other (like i think they have trouble getting along but it helped to find common ground) them not rly understanding each other or why the other person does things the way they do was smth intentionally included 4 the straightbaiting bit to work and showing galo and aina wouldnt rly work together and galo and lio r more like. attracted to/intrigued by/instinctively understanding of each other and have that compelling them to get to know each other, n their experiences lend them dif levels of respect towards each other that galo and his coworkers never had. in a way even tho aina made an effort w galo later he had kind of moved on from trying to be friends with his coworkers by then and pursued his relationship w lio instead (again lots of dif reasons they get each other and vibed on a dif level than he had w other ppl, the obvious among them being theyre gay 4 each other lol), tho thats not set in stone n after the events of the movie maybe they can b friends now

anyway umm yes i think post promare galo and aina find ways to communicate better and i would like for them to be friends but like galo being autistic is legitimately the reason trigger gave for him getting off on the wrong foot with burning rescue lmao. it definitely affects his relationship w aina in that way even tho i think she started being more receptive 2 his way of communicating later on. hope this somewhat answered ur question, i have a lot of dif ways of viewing their relationship and characters. as always if anyone has specifics u want elaborated on or has smth 2 add i would luv to hear it

[gallagherhqs]

MARCH 16, 2021

It was supposed to be his moment of lime light, his one moment where he could be proud of himself for actually achieving something big. He hacked into Gallagher’s systems, something that others could never do, what all fourth years dreamt of doing. They had four years to try and achieve this, he achieved it in seven months. 

A proud moment, right? Especially for a first year. Pride had wrapped around him like the tail of a snake, blinding the oldest twin in the moment where he should’ve been extremely careful. So quick to wrap up his task, he didn’t take the time to truly retrace and redo his steps. All it took was one slip up at the very end for his whole world to come crumbling down. 

An email that made his heart drop. His team all worried and disappointed in him. A friend’s words that sent a shock wave throughout his entire body. And his brother’s message reading ‘ i told u so ‘ that flashed in his face. 

Carmichael Davis felt sick and wanted nothing more than to fix everything. 

He just didn’t know how. 

BELENUS: u gotta tell arawn 

BELENUS: theyll know what to do 

Codename for Mr. Stewart. He didn’t want to tell Mr. Stewart, not wanting to disappoint the older man after just making him proud. After he just proved himself to be worthy just like Allister Davis. And as soon as he reveals this problem, he’s sure that the other would continue to push him to the side and into the shadow belonging to his younger brother.

And he doesn’t want that, he really doesn’t but… The mission means more than his fragile pride. 

Which brings him to his room later that night, all of the lights out except for the dimmed light coming from his laptop. He sits on his bed, back leaning up against the wall that the bunk beds rest up against. His roommates are all sleeping soundly, he can tell by their soft breathing and light snoring. He hopes that just like them, he’ll be able to sleep peacefully after this. 

The private chat room that he has with his brother is up, the two brothers waiting for Mr. Stewart to enter the chat. And as soon as he did, he’s all business. 

                    ARAWN has entered the chat. 

CERNUNNOS: Hello Arawn, thank you for joining our chat room. 

BELENUS: hey arwan! 

ARAWN: Thank you, Cernunnos, Belenus. May I ask why I am here? 

He breathes in, then breathes out before typing out. His fingers are shaking, he doesn’t like that one bit. 

CERNUNNOS: Unfortunately, due to my own carelessness, Gallagher has become aware that I’ve gotten into their private files. I unknowingly left behind a trace and because of that, the institution sent out an email about it to everyone so that they’re aware of the situation. 

CERNUNNOS: I’m unsure on what to do next or how to go about this. Should I just leave it alone and wait for everyone to forget about this matter? But that would only stop the student body, the administration would continue to conduct a search and find out my identity. Or should I focus my attention on stopping the administration? 

There’s a moment of silence, no messages from Mr. Stewart or Allister Davis. The anticipation only makes him more nauseous, his fingers clenching and unclenching, waiting for either of them to say something. Anything. 

When a message does finally come, the contents of it is to be expected. 

ARAWN: That is a problem and I would like to express my deep disappointment in you, Cernunnos. While you were able to gain access into Gallagher’s private files and send it off, you still left behind a trace. A trace that could be easily led back to you and cause this entire mission to go sideways. 

The disappointments, everyone is just disappointed in him. Cole, Eva, Cecilia, Allister Davis, himself, and now Mr. Stewart. His one moment of success, that should’ve been filled with cheers and applause, now only hold side eyes and murmurs. 

A failure and a disappointment, that is what makes up Carmichael Davis. 

ARAWN: To handle both situations, we’re going to need something that will divert all attention away from you all. Have either of you taken a look at any of the private files? 

CERNUNNOS: Not completely but I did notice that there are files on all Gallagher alumni, even the few Blackthorne alumni that came to Gallagher last year. We could spread around private information about those individuals to the students. From what I’ve gathered, most of the students had a close relation with the alumni from last year. One of them even works here as a professor.

ARAWN: That could possibly work. What else is there? 

BELENUS: !!!!! 

BELENUS: why not one of the videos??? 

BELENUS: theres a lot of those kept hidden annnnnnd 1 of them is really funny to watch :) 

He narrows his eyes at his brother's message. He knows his brother better than anyone else so he’s aware of when the younger of the two is up to no good. And even while so many miles away, he can tell from the overuse of punctuation that Allister Davis is about to suggest something that will make his older brother want to throw up. 

ARAWN: I saw that. It seems that President Sutton is a very watchful individual. Which video did you enjoy, Belenus? 

A few seconds later, Allister Davis drops the video into the chat. Carmichael Davis realizes that it’s the video from the 14th that his brother sent him, the same video that he never had a chance to watch. What’s so funny about this? He thinks to himself. It doesn’t look that interesting…

BELENUS: watch it! youll both enjoy i promise <3 

It feels like a set up, that he wouldn’t enjoy it at all. But he’s a curious individual, just as much as Allister Davis, so with his headphones connected to his laptop, he presses play on the video. It starts off slow, where he’s just staring at a tied up man behind a cell, the individual unfamiliar to him. He’s not a professor and he’s definitely not a student, but there’s something about him… that makes Carmichael Davis want to know him. As if he’s supposed to know him but he’s not sure where or why. It’s only ten more seconds into the video that he realizes the importance of this video. 

He sees them, students, people who he has seen at least once or twice since he’s been here. Most of their faces don’t stand out to him, only their actions done in the video left an imprint, it’s the two familiar faces that stand out to him. Caden Lucca and Mary Sakamoto. Caden, the guy who’s dating his roommate and Mary, who is Cole’s friend. 

And also the person who allowed him to cry and rant about his problems to her. 

He almost bolts out of his bed and to the bathroom, just to get rid of whatever is sitting in the pit of his stomach. But he’s not sure if it’s the food that he ate for dinner hours ago or the guilt of watching a video that he shouldn’t be watching. 

BELENUS: crazy right??? who knew that such a pristine and clean school like gallagher had students like this~ 

BELENUS: and i bet prez sutt is vvv aware of this and i BET she didnt do anything to punish the students :) 

BELENUS: isnt that crazy???? Lol

ARAWN: I’m not sure if it’s crazy but it surely is interesting. It’s also the perfect diversion. Cernunnos, send this video out to everyone. From this, it’ll cause an uproar among the students but it will also cause the administration to also take care of this mess of the video getting leaked. It’ll also cause President Sutton to focus more on this issue at hand than anything else. Do you understand? 

Carmichael Davis doesn’t respond right away, still so focusing on Mary as she lunged forward, attacking the tied up man. How Caden picked her up and how another student took her blade from her hand. He heard her cry out loud, her voice sending shivers throughout his entire body. 

He doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like this one bit. 

ARAWN: Cernunnos. Do I make myself clear? 

CERNUNNOS: Yes, Arawn. I apologize, I was finishing up the video still. 

ARAWN: That is fine. Just make sure that you send out the video to everyone, understood? 

CERNUNNOS: Of course. 

ARAWN: Perfect. Is that all or do you two need anything else from me? 

BELENUS: nope thats it!! imma kick you out now but if we need you again, ill just invite ya 

ARAWN: Excellent. Until next time, Belenus. Cernunnos. 

CERNUNNOS: Until next time, Arawn. 

BELENUS: PEACE!!!! 

And he’s gone, thus leaving the twins alone with this second part of the mission. Carmichael Davis has no say in whether or not he should send it out, no judgement in whether it's just or not. 

Because what about him is just? He hacked into Gallagher’s private system, sending off their private files to Mr. Stewart so that the man could use the information for whatever reason. He infiltrated the school under a name that isn’t even his, parading around as someone he’s not. If anything, he is the villain in this story, the antagonist that is meant to start problems within the walls of Gallagher. A person whom they’ll hate. 

But when Mary looked at him that day and listened to his soft cries and his words that expressed how much of a failure he sees himself as, he remembers a girl who didn’t see him as a villain. Just a boy who’s lonely and deserves better. She was so soft with him, so gentle and so kind. 

She doesn’t deserve what is to come her way because of his own careless mistake. The embarrassment that might follow the videos, having others see what she and others had done that night. How her eyes, that were filled with light that day, would cloud over and no longer shine so brightly. 

The idea of clouded eyes filled him with guilt, the angel on his shoulder telling him not to do it, that this wasn’t right. That there was a way to protect himself, his teammates, and those in the video. That there was a just solution to all of this. 

However, Carmichael Davis couldn’t stand by that. He wasn’t the main character in a series that was powered by friendship. He wasn’t a character that could stand proudly with a puffed chest, claiming that he could save everyone. He was human, a boy who could only do so much. 

He could either save five individuals whom he didn’t even know and who didn’t know him, or he could protect his three friends. While they started off strangers and those who couldn’t work as a team, he still found himself growing close to them. A boy who only had one friend, now had three more. 

And he’ll do anything to protect them. 

BELENUS: so 

BELENUS: are you really going to send it or do i need to? 

His hands have stopped shaking but his stomach continues to churn. 

CERNUNNOS: No need, I’m going to do it. This is my mission after all, I don’t need your help. 

BELENUS: okay fine

BELENUS: just dont fuck it up for a second time 

BELUNUS: or else ill have to step in and clean up your mess. 

Carmichael Davis doesn’t send another message, clicking out of the chat room and instead, preparing for the email to be sent out at a scheduled time. He apologizes to Mary and Caden but he has three other people on his mind who has to protect. 

He’ll be the villain in Gallagher’s eyes, just as long he’s the hero in theirs.

MORE INFORMATION:

on march 17, gallagher students receive an email at exactly 7am from an anonymous source, with the subject HE’S DEAD. there’s no message in the email, just a video file -- and when you click it, you’re shown the security camera footage of the sublevel on april 27, 2020 :   the night five students broke in and assaulted ex-gallagher alum and brotherhood member cecil lefebvre. 

do with that what you will.

also a side note, but a HUGE thank you to kashia for writing the past two plot drops !

[the-ship-maker-2]

I hope this works this time. :') but if u deleted it that's totally fine to, i understand! But this was my req.

Habit emh, jeff em, alex mh, jay mh, and tim, mh with a tsundere s/o who can come off as aloof or even rude but they're just rlly shy and have trouble communicating. As for affection, theyrr touch starved but still take it slow with like huggijg and stuff and dont know how to initiate it lol. But if they find like a cool rock or smthn theyll give it to their bf and be like "this was cool, have it".

Yeas,,,, ty

Of course!

Habit (emh), Jeff (emh), tim (mh), jay (mh), and Alex (mh) with a tsundere s/o HCs

-habit finds your strange behavior amusing. He enjoys flustering you and getting hit. He just finds you so cute that it's hard to take you seriously. Still as much as he loves toying with you he can't help but wonder if you truly love him or not

-Until one day you buy him a purple stuffed animal for him. Claiming that they saw it and it reminded them of him. Over time habit learned your habits and always waits for you to make the first move. He may be a powerful chaotic evil entity but hes a good listener.

-Jeff is really awkward at this relationship stuff. So he leaves you alone to give you your space. He doesn't understand you at first. He has no idea how to go about even attempting to understand you. He really wonders if you really want to be in a relationship with him.

-until he comes home one day to you cooking his favorite meal for dinner. You remember so you really do care. Maybe he found a way to understand you after all. Maybe if he did some of your favorite things with you then he can be closer to you than ever before.

-Tim needs to be taught patience. You both don't have patience for each other. You didn't understand why he was so on your ass all the time and he didn't understand why you were always so difficult. This caused a heavy strain in your guys relationship for the longest time.

-over time he slowly paid attention to your behavior and habits and figured out how to work with those. He learned to be patient with you. And he learned to meet you in the middle. You two work together well now.

-idk how you ended up with a softie such as jay. You two are polar opposites. He can be annoying, needy and clingy. Which can be overwhelming for you. He gets hurt a lot when you push him away or seem like you don't care or say something mean to him. You feel bad about it but you don't know how to say sorry

-however he is also persistent. No Matter how many times hes been hurt. He'll keep going back to you and try again. Its almost endearing. You can't help but melt at how soft and how much he cares. Overtime you became soft for one person only and that is Jay.

-Alex is a tsundere himself so it takes one to know one. Both of you clash with each other. You two get into fights a lot because you both don't know how to communicate and show emotions. Which leads to both of you saying hurtful things to each other. Both of you wonder if you two are meant to be.

-however you two worked out your own little love language. You both give each other space but sometimes Alex is the one to initiate affection whether you like it or not. Sometimes you two will give each other sparkly odd objects as a token of affection. And you both will playfully insult each other in passing and that's how you say I love you too each other.

I hope you like these and feel free to ask again!

[mochi-marie]

hi!! i was wondering if i could request a written matchup with the haikyuu boys!

here i go. i’m a straight female, my pronouns are she/her. i’m 5’8 with brown hair at my shoulders and blue eyes. one my fav features is the small mole under my left eye! and style wise i’m ur typical tiny top + big pants girl or big sweater + tiny pants

i’m an intj and leo sun (although i strongly identify with my virgo moon and aries rising placements). i’m super independent and definitely shy. ppl know i’m comfortable with them when i can be mean (in a playful way). definitely a sarcastic sense of humour. i can be impulsive at times; it doesn’t take much pushing from my friends to convince me to do something dumb. my hobbies are painting and sewing!

my love language is quality time by a mile (physical touch is at the bottom of the list😬), i just love being with the people i love more than anything, idc if we’re doing nothing. i think i can be pretty flirty thanks to my gemini venus, but when things seem to get serious with others i chicken out loll (i also get bored of my crushes rlly quickly). my ideal type tbh is someone i can tease and theyll tease me back, i need the banter and wit (i think i’d need to be friends with the person first)

finallyyy (i wrote a novel i’m sorry) i’m a night owl! i cannot live without my 3 bffs i’ve been friends with for 8 years, i’d seriously die for them. fav song rn is the beach by the neighborhood (i’m rlly into them rn idk why). ideal first date is just talking and eating while looking at the city at night + a drive🤭

ok i’m gonna stop myself now lolll, thanks in advance if u do decide to do this!! <33

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: tysm for the request, love!! i loved reading through this, and i hope you like what i've written!

𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗢

♡ . . . REASONINGS : going through your ask, i have quickly determined that you would be best paired with, in my personal opinion, suna rintaro!

your clothing dynamic is so cute ( in my opinion ), and your overall appearance screams a certain fashionable minimalism that i feel he would be attracted to. from looks alone, with hair that ends at the shoulders and clothing that yells a simple dynamic, you would look very cute alongside suna rintaro.

as far as personality goes, once you're comfortable around each other, you better expect the banter between you two to be flawless. it's almost like second nature, and most people look at you both weirdly if you casually insult each other. he will most likely be there to point out dumb things you do, and to steer you away from doing it if he knows it'll end up in some sort of pain or discomfort for you. though if it isn't that bad, he honestly might just pull out his phone to record the dumb things you do, later on showing it to you and claiming he'll use it for black mail -- though everyone knows that he loves you too much to do something like that, and instead only looks back on the video or pictures fondly or when he's in a bad mood.

quality time preferred over physical touch? count suna in. he does not strike me as a very touchy guy, so my best guess would be that he would also really appreciate quality time, even if it is just spent in a comfortable silence that blankets the room. you could be tangled together on a couch, watching tv or playing on your phones, or sitting on opposite sides of the room in your own little world, smiling softly at the knowledge that you both are only a few steps away if you needed one another.

𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗-𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗦

♡ . . . if you both are ever really bored, he'll just send you a quick message asking if you want something to do, and if you say yes, a few minutes you'll find him outside your window, telling you to come down and go on a drive with him.

♡ . . . if you're ever being really sarcastic while he's in a bad or clingy mood, suna will simply flop onto you and lay there until you give in / up, allowing yourself to be smooshed by his weight as he enjoys laying on top of you.

♡ . . . suna will try to stick around you when you both go out, knowing how easy it is to convince you to do something stupid or dumb in nature.

♡ . . . suna is sometimes asked by a few others ( like atsumu ) to bring you their shirt or something, your hobby of sewing known ( if it's that kind of sewing ). suna will sigh, shirt in hand as he asks you if you would be up to fixing the tear in the fabric.

♡ . . . late night dates usually consist of you both driving around town to look at city lights like you like, stopping for fast food, and then going to an empty parking lot lit by street lights where you can eat on the hood of the car in peace, chatting and listening to music from the radio.

𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 𝗠𝗢𝗢𝗗𝗕𝗢𝗔𝗥𝗗

𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗗𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗦

♡ . . . tsukishima kei, ushijima wakatoshi, none others considered!

[thatadhdmood]

not to add another ask to ur growing pile hehe, but I’m a minor, and it says to diagnose adolescent adhd the professional needs to speak to multiple other adults like coaches or teachers about the teenager and whether they showed symptoms. this terrifies me, I’m a very private person and don’t like to show how I’m struggling (and my grades are above average after pushing myself to breakdowns), so I was wondering whether I should try getting diagnosed? Are they really going to ask other adults about me? It’s a gray area between child and adult adhd so I have no clue what’s going to happen ;-;

______________________ piles always growing, especially when im answering

for me i dont think they talked to my teachers, but they might have to talk to your teachers about whether you hand in things and whether they see if you have any signs because its a way of verification of symptoms

its easier to get a diagnosis when ur younger so dont wait until your adult just because ur private because without them as resources it becomes harder

hhhhh

legitmately im not completely sure,  i think if ur a minor or smth yeah theyll ask ur teachers and just shoot em an email with some questions, unless you find some other adults to validate u

like ahhhhhh im not sure but i dont want to leave this ask in my inbox

take aways!

- im not sure either - theyre probs gonna ask ur teachers if ur a minor -you can probs communicate with the person diagnosing you about it and ask if theyre going to do it. communication is real! -just get diagnosed and then cross this bridge when u get there - diff ppl use diff diagnosis systems sometimes

IF U KNOW STUFF THE NOTES R THERE

[thisdreamplace]

Hii. Two people in my family r v self-righteous. They make unreasonable requests, then when those 'requests' arnt met obvii, they get v... You'll see

Many times they do things that exclude the certain person they're 'targeting' and will pretend its the other person (the target) who's acting wrong. Theyll team up and exclude the target, and if you mention this, they get v defensive and together lash out against the speaker, listijg long random details of how the speaker did so and so. And most of it is, frankly, unfair and unreasonable 'reasons'

Ive been the target, and so have others in my family. But these two refuse to get how hurtful and self-righteous their actions are! I say self righteous becaus they literally are convinced they have the 'right' to 'act' this way, as it seems so justified in their eyes. I can't deal with this, esp as it's a sensitice tkpic and in the past id fall into their guilt traps and as a result had near zero esteem + became a pushover at school. I'd think if im not being of use to anyonez or if I say no, it's so wrong and I'm a bad guy who has to suffer for that. Thanks to these Law blogs on tumbler and other things ive learned... That thinking is so victim-y blegh. Good for me, lol

Things in my family, as u can guess, aren't that great, thanks to this weird clique-ish behavjor, and other reasons too. But this reason, it's not only me who's facing this behavior? It's others too? And frankly idec abt this behavior that much coz I'm used to it and i am trying to see it as a challenge to improve my self concept eg realising it shouldn't really matter to me if I'm excluded and they make plans w/o me. Why shd I let myself get hurt? I can use this to realise im the one who can create and besides, I've been working on an assumption in which I'm leaving this place (not much success thereyet, but im spinning this in a positive way, if evrything is neutral!)

Ik why this happens to me - it's evry time I accept my olf assumptions on them acting this way, this creates more of the old story-- but why does it happen to others too? Or how can I make them realise wth they're doing? Theyre only damaging themselves anyway :(

Sorry for being all over the place

And also, I said im working on my self concept, so I found out some major beliefs I had, and while meditating i discovered this random old memory from when I was a child ig which I think is where I started to buy into me being guilty and ashamed of who I am. Ik this stuff is what they call shadow work but still do u know where I can go from here? How do I work with this awful memory? To like put it away forever, coz I thought being aware of it would be enough, but it isnt. Some say forgive urself, and the others in the memory, but idk it doesn't seem to work for me. I don't feel relief. Do u have experience with this? Or do u have a resource u could share with me that deals with this safely?

Ok bye bye luvv u

Hi!

Firstly I want to say I'm sorry this is something you are experiencing. But thanks to the law, you have the power to change it for good.

That being said, I think this is why it's really important to go all in when you come to the law of assumption. It's a lot deeper than just manifesting things. You can't be one foot in, one foot out when it comes to the law. You have to acknowledge all the concepts and learn how to apply them. You're experiencing a lot more grief over this topic, because of how you're not applying "everyone is you pushed out." Taking full responsibility for every aspect of the law, and therefore every aspect of your life, will lead you to the solutions you're seeking.

"but why does it happen to others too? Or how can I make them realise wth they're doing?"

It's not happening to anyone else. It's only happening to you and you're experiencing it happening to "others" because of how you're keeping this reality alive. You don't have to make them realize anything, not by force anyway. All you have to do is go within. There is no one to change but self. Period. There's a really good article that could help you get on the right track with this:

No One To Change But Self

When it comes to that memory, from my experience the best I could ever do is let it be and know how it means nothing anymore. Even if it still hurts. The thing is, self concept work has more to do with building self confidence. And this confidence lies in remembering who you really are: God of your reality. The more you focus on that instead, the pain surrounding the memory will begin to dissolve on it's own. Because you know how anything not aligned with love just simply isn't the truth anymore. I think this following article could be helpful in giving you an idea on how to navigate difficult inner moments.

Self Acceptance

I hope this is helpful! 💖

[under-the-blue-sun]

come through (‘cause I just want to be with you) - chapter two

story summary: Dan is half-angel half-demon whose parents sent him to earth to try and live a normal life when he turned 18. In doing this, he lost any power he had, if proven he could live among them normally. The only rule? He couldn’t fall in love with a mortal. Fast forward 5 years later, just before his 23rd birthday, when things go downhill once he meets a barista in a coffee shop who he befriends and falls for.

story word count: 2759

rating: teen & up audiences

warnings: profanity

song of the chapter:  black sun - death cab for cutie

note: i know this is late but in my defense i'm gay and i can't count. i hope you enjoy this chapter!! also on another note isn’t the new tumblr font just terrible

link to ao3 | link to first chapter on tumblr

Chapter Two: how could something so fair (be so cruel)

Beep. Beep. Beep.

 Dan groaned, slamming the button on his alarm to stop the blaring noise. His bleary eyes squinted at the clock.

 “11. That’s okay,” he muttered, hiding under his blankets to stop the persistent pain in his stomach, as if his body was reminding him he should be somewhere.

 He suddenly rose from the covers.

 “10. Lecture. Fuck.”

 He leapt up, clearing his blurry thoughts from his mind, and ran to the bathroom, shoving a bottle of Listerine down his throat. Choking with disgust, he grabbed the first clothes on the floor to throw on, and sprinted out the door, black Muse tote bag stumbling out of his careless hands. Barely catching his breath, he staggered into the lecture room one hour and forty-five minutes late, seemingly unnoticed. He slipped into the back seat, laying out his notebook, pencil case and laptop.

 “Rough morning, huh?” Chris whispered.

 “It was actually a very good morning, until I woke up and realised I was one hour late for the lecture,” Dan whispered back.

 Chris sniggered. “I’ll bet.”

 Chris was one of the very few humans who Dan could talk to without seeming like a fool, mostly because Chris was very rather odd himself. Most people in his philosophy class were aesthetic, intelligent and very pretentious, but Chris made sure he was never two of those things at once. He was the person who introduced him to most of the human things he likes now, and has unknowingly helped Dan slip into human society very well.

 Dan glanced at Chris’ notes. “Anything important?”

 “It’s a philosophy class. Nothing is important, Dan,” Chris said. “I’ll give you the notes after, asshole.”

 “Rude. Exam’s on Monday, right?” Dan said.

 “Yeah, and the hand-in essay’s due before 12pm Wednesday.”

 Dan sighed. “Well, fuck. I better listen.”

 Chris wriggled closer to Dan, assuming his tea-spilling posture. “Have you-”

 “Shut up!” Dan hissed. 

 Chris rolled his eyes, slouching back into the chair, and resumed his note-taking for the last fifteen minutes of class before they were dismissed. 

 “Oh, hurry up. I have something to show you,” Chris said.

 “I haven’t had my morning coffee yet, please cut me some slack.” Dan yawned, slowly placing his items in his tote bag.

 “That’s what I was going to show you,” Chris replied. “Hurry up!”

 Dan finally finished putting his stationery away, and shoved his pencil in his pocket approximately five minutes later, after around one hundred carefully-crafted insults from Chris. “I’m done, what do you want to show me?”

 “I have found the best coffee shop in the entirety of London,” Chris announced, heading out of the lecture room. Dan raised his eyebrows.

 “I highly doubt that,” Dan said.

 “Okay, maybe it’s not the best. But the baristas?” Chris blew a kiss into the air.

 Dan shook his head, disappointed. “Chris, what did I say about objectifying people?”

 “Please, come. It’s called ‘Never Gonna Give Brew Up’,” Chris said, looking at Dan expectantly. Dan stared back, expressionless.

 “You know, like Never Gonna Give You Up?” Chris hinted.

 “Yes, I understand the joke. You keep sending me links to the music video.”

 Chris laughed. “Wait, you actually click on them?”

 Dan scoffed. “Of course not. I memorized the several URLs you’ve sent so I recognise it straight away. I also tend to distrust every link you send.”

 “As you should. Anyway, I am begging you to come. There’s one especially cute boy who I know works today, and I also know he’s very single. His name is Jack, and he is absolutely adorable.”

 Dan continued walking, making no response. 

 “Dan. You’re single, sad, very gay and very lonely. Just ask him out, go on a date, see how it is,” Chris begged.

 Dan snorted. “Like your love life is perfect.”

 “Hey, I may not have a long-term partner, but at least I’m going on dates and meeting up with people. In all the four years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you go on a single date unprompted.”

 Dan shrugged. “Haven’t found the right guy.”

 “Come on. Just come to the coffee shop, at least,” Chris pleaded.

 “Fine,” Dan said, deciding to humour Chris. “I’ll meet the barista.”

 ---

 Jack the barista was, in fact, very hot, just like Chris stated. They were definitely not the first people to notice that. There was a whole clump of people in the cafe hovering around him, eager for him to give them a chance, or a glance. It was ridiculous.

 “This is ridiculous,” Dan muttered, turning to leave. “I’m going to get out of here.”

 Chris grabbed his arm. “I’m not letting you leave, Howell.”

 Dan groaned as Chris pushed him back in the line and started ordering the food.

 “I didn’t come here to ogle at the resident hoe,” Dan whispered violently in his ear. “I am leaving.”

 “What did you just call me?”

 Dan froze, and looked to the unfamiliar voice that came from in front of him. 

 “Resident hoe. Don’t take it personally. I’m sure you’re a lovely person, I’m just lashing out and name-calling because my friend here is trying to set me up with you. I apologise.”

 Jack smirked in amusement. “At least let the resident hoe get you some coffee. You look like you haven’t slept in years.”

 “Probably because I haven’t,” Dan admitted. “And not in a sexy way.”

 Jack snorted, and handed Dan a drink. “I think this coffee has the most caffeine which you can possibly stuff in a drink.” 

 “Sorry for calling you the resident hoe,” Dan said, turning to go.

“Well, if you want to make a full apology, I’ll be here tonight as well,” Jack said. “Opening hours till midnight.”

 Dan grinned. “I’ll think about it.”

 ---

 “I cannot believe you won him over by calling him a resident hoe,” Chris said, as they were leaving the cafe.

 “What were you picturing?” Dan asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

 Chris shrugged. “I don’t know. Not that. But hey, it worked! And you have another chance to actually talk to him tonight. You are going back there tonight, right?”

 Dan clicked his tongue. “I’m thinking about it.”

 “You better go,” Chris warned. “He literally invited you back to the cafe. You’re not gonna get that chance again.”

 Dan glanced at his watch. “Well, I have approximately twelve whole hours to think about whether I should go back to the cafe to call Jack names, so that’s plenty of time to think. That’s philosophy, right? Thinking about stuff.”

 Chris sighed. “Yeah. You should probably head to the library to revise right now.”

 ---

 Dan looked up helplessly at his blank word document. He had been in the library for three whole hours, yet he had written absolutely nothing. He stared at the blinding white of his screen, mind completely empty. Frankly, he was incredibly amazed at his brain for managing to not have a single thought yet also have too many thoughts. Slowly and helplessly, he began to type random things that came to his brain.

 Are immortal people allowed to fall in love with human beings?

 Dan paused, then pressed the enter button.

 No.

 why?

 because theyll probably find out?? that you’re a demon angel fuckin thing whatever also theyll die before u and thats like sad idk yeah

 Dan sighed. A+ essay right there. 

 The thing is, he kind of really wanted to go on that date with Jack. He seemed like a nice guy. It would be kind of fun. Besides, it would really shut Chris up and he wouldn’t pester him for a few months. 

 It wasn’t like he was going to marry Jack, after all. Like, he was pretty much the resident hoe. 

 Dan sighed deeply. 

 But if an immortal person went to a cafe with the possibility of going out with someone who was not going to be a potential future partner, would that be wrong?

 After a long pause, Dan began to type again.

 No.

 And with that, he gave up on his essay, packed up his bags and left the library.

 ---

 Surprisingly, Never Gonna Give Brew Up was still open, and very brightly lit. Dan didn’t really know why he was surprised. He was told that it closed at midnight, after all. But still, he didn’t normally associate open cafes with dark evenings. He swung the door open and stepped inside with a wide grin.

 “Hey J-” Dan paused. “You’re not Jack.”

 The barista at the counter looked up from his screen with a smirk. “Astute observation.”

 Dan stepped carefully in the cafe, closing the door behind him to make sure it didn’t slam. The barista was watching him carefully, smirk still planted on his irritatingly handsome face. Dan was seriously beginning to think the only qualification for applying to this cafe was to be good-looking.

 “Well. This is awkward,” Dan said.

 The barista shrugged. “For you, maybe. For me, this is rather entertaining. Tell me, what service were you wanting from Jack? I’m guessing it’s not coffee.”

 Dan snorted. “Well, it’s a long story.”

 “Is it?” the barista said, raising an eyebrow.

 Dan thought over it. “Not really. I called him the resident hoe and I came here to apologise slash ask him out. That’s pretty much it.”

 “I’m sorry for cockblocking you. I’ll give you free coffee to make up for it,” the barista offered.

 “Thanks, I could use that actually. I have an exam I haven’t studied for and a hand-in essay I haven’t begun coming up in the next few days, so I’m guessing I’m not going to be getting a lot of sleep for a while.” Dan said.

 “You already look like you haven’t gotten a lot of sleep in a while,” the barista pointed out.

 Dan chuckled joylessly. “Thanks, everyone says that to me when I meet them.”

 “I mean, I also haven’t been getting a lot of sleep. And no offense to your Jack, but it’s kind of because of him.” 

 “Oh yeah? Give me the tea,” Dan said. Then he frowned. “Or the coffee. I don’t know whether you do make tea here.”

 “I’ll give you the tea and the coffee,” the barista joked, grabbing a cup to start making Dan’s drink. “It’s not really that interesting tea, though. I just have to keep on doing Jack’s shifts because he always says he’s busy last minute. He’s such an asshole. Probably did you a favour with the cockblock, mate.”

 “Damn. Thanks for that, I guess,” Dan said, and the barista laughed, giving Dan an odd warm fuzzy feeling inside. Before he could fully process what that was, the barista handed him the drink.

 “Here,” he said, and Dan took a sip, pleasantly surprised.

 “I have to say, this is a lot better than the one Jack gave me,” Dan commented.

 “Of course it is. Jack’s shit at making coffee,” the barista said.

 Dan laughed. “Yeah, it was kind of nasty.”

 “You should probably get to that essay soon, though,” the barista said, and Dan suddenly realised he may have overstayed his welcome. He cleared his throat.

 “Yeah, probably should. Thanks for the free coffee,” Dan said.

 The barista smiled. “Yeah, it was no problem.”

 “I didn’t catch your name, by the way.” 

 “Phil. And you are?”

 “Dan.”

 “Dan,” Phil said, like he was trying the name out for the first time. “Nice to meet you, Dan.”

 “Nice to meet you too, Phil,” Dan said, and left happier than he’d felt in weeks.

[plushievash]

how did leo/alexei happen? give us lore!

so for a long while they both had crushes on each other but alexei is stupid and leo suffered from internalized homophobia believing hes not meant for relationships no matter how much he wanted one with someone he would never pursue it bc he thought he would be a burden/nobody sees him that way/he is repulsive;; alexei just admired leo too much and thought leo was out of his league and that hed never love someone like him and also bc hes alexei and is just like * has severe paranoia and also no social skills *

dasha saw the Signs™ tho bc hes like love is in the air….and i will find out where its coming from and then. he suffered watching these 2 dumbasses for 2 almost 3 years dance around each other and their feelings while nobody else believed him that hey…..looks like somethins goin on between alexei and leo…u ever notice how leo takes any chance to touch him? u ever notice the way alexei immediately becomes more interactive when leo comes along? yes i know leo is clingy yes i know alexei is improving socially just like. Look its Right in Front of You.

but anyways went like that for the longest time where both of them kind of planned to make their feelings known but could never work up the courage to follow through with it. and alexei got with lucien to try to forget abt leo bc he “knew” he ‘had no chance’ and leo just [roblox OOF] and as usual * focuses on work at a dangerous level and does stupid stuff *

which ends up with a mix up and confusion where leo is missing and puts everyone in a panic and miko catches a guy named nikostratos and ooh ooough oh hes so mad hes so ohguh hes so angry that hes mad. and without thinking and following standard procedure does some things and is 8D to find out uh oh! just gave my brother the familys awful itchy scratchy disease! fuck! time to go kms i guess!

and masha is big mad at everyone so shes just like leo and miko are banned from work and if they even attempt it they wont bc theyd cross me and nobody crosses me. and then alexei is put on watch to make sure leo doesnt try to sneak away and work on his own anyways and to nobodys surprise, he does try. instead of sending one of his people alexei personally confronts him and persuades him to go back home. to which leo asks alexei to stay with him and he does…slowly leo starts to ease up again as alexei stays with him and basically lives with him/stella/the twins for a short while as hes stationed to by masha

eventually after a while of watching both miko and leo masha is satisfied enough with their recoveries and allows them back to their jobs calling alexei off since they no longer need to be supervised. but alexei again * is extremely paranoid and well meaning but also awful * so he keeps his people watching leo from a distance just to be sure hes safe; as he does with maxim and miko (the only difference is that maxim and miko Know he does that and asked him to do that; leo didnt.) oh yeah somewhere sprinkled in around that time alexei split with lucien cause he just. wasnt happy it wasnt working. i dont remember where exactly in all this mess it happened LMAO u might wanna ask my boyed friend abt that since alexei is his

so anyways after a while of being back to work leo notices hes still being followed and slowly gets paranoid and irritable. he ends up doing rash things that could end up getting him killed just to get the attention of the people following him to see if hes “just being paranoid” or if hes really being followed still despite masha allowing him to return to work. eventually after the 3rd time instead of sending someone to intervene alexei himself shows up and leo is Angry and hurt tells alexei to call off his people cause if he ever sees them again he wont hesitate to kill them and so alexei does cause he does care abt his people he doesnt try to defend himself or anything it finally hits him that he just “oh hmm. ok yeah that was kinda fucked up. uh oh i fucked up. this is bad”

and leos whole attitude began to shift instead of his usual generally polite and very easy attitude ready to make friends with anyone he became guarded irritable and quiet and he lost the soft tone in his voice. eventually even with his favourite most important people around him (stella/felix/miko) hes just too paranoid sick to his stomach and angry to stay where he is. so he says hes going to take a vacation and instead moves down to work at the other facilities as a lower agent domenico carlevaro; he doesnt alter his appearance too much aside from dyeing his hair and changing his general fashion style. the only person he allows to come down and see him is mikolaj but he says if felix or stella ever asked him he is allowed to tell them they can see him but no one else. not maxim or dasha or alcides not the twins. he cant stand to see anyone else. miko regularly visits him but has to ask each time since leo doesnt stay in 1 place for too long. eventually leos anger just makes him even more reckless causing him to break his prosthetic; so he has to return to apologize to dasha and ask for a new one.

there he finds out alexei has disappeared and immediately he just feels a twist in his stomach bc he wanted to be angry and pretend that hes over it and he doesnt care about him anymore but he still does so after he gets his new arm despite maxims protests he insists that he will assist maxim in the search. miko reports that alexei was last seen injured being carried away by a woman from some abandoned facility and so everyone is like ok fuck! who is that! is he already dead! or what the fuck! goddamn it! eventually maxim and leo manage to find where alexei is hiding running into one of his people; daria who is a tracker and not really experienced in protection. she… doesnt know how to properly use a gun. shenanigans happen bc daria is sweet and maxim and leo are not mean then leo sees alexei and boy ! he is  FUCKED UP. alexei looks like hes str8 up dying (cause he is!) hes extremely weak and has to use a cane to walk hes got bloody bandages all over and his arm in a sling and later leo and maxim see that arm has a huge ass bite taken out of it and maxim is just 8D…im a good doctor but im not That good a doctor what the fuck is this. and calls marina down to see if they know what this is

marina does and identifies it as a kaprinka bite (ask my boyed friend what a kaprinka is) and that all cases theyve been in charge of nobody has survived but theyll do what they can to try to fix it. maxim and leo decide to take shifts to always be in the room with alexei in case anything goes wrong like his condition suddenly gets even worse and they need to call marina or an attempt on his life happens. so the first night while leo is in charge of watching alexei they start to talk and leo isnt angry anymore and instead is just…Really really sad and admits how hes felt and how he knows that he doesnt have to; he shouldnt; and he Doesnt forgive him for what he did but hes willing to push that aside to at least go back to the way they were. and alexei admits how hes felt and apologizes for everything and how he “probably got himself killed” and theyre both just mmmm feels bad toddbut after that it gives alexei the push to keep on living and alexei does Stupid Stuff which is really stupid but! it helps and he manages to bring back the kaprinka for marina to see what they can do to help him since they said that theyve only ever seen kaprinka that were already dead and not usable for testing it takes months and some big rollercoaster ups and downs w/ alexeis progress but he makes it and recovers but continues to stay in hiding til he gains his full strength back and during that time someone is sent to kill him and leo and maxim stop the guy and then stuff happens and alexei is big mad and blah blah and stuff and then after thats taken care of and his recovery is full they all return and leo helps alexei/artyom/daria in their search for what originally caused the whole situation alexei got in

and so basically from the day they found him theyve been dating Finally but never like fully established it but its very clear now so everyone knows and dasha is rubbing it in everyones faces and miko and felix are dying and they just Cant understand.

also a quick note: theres 2 darias…i have a daria who is just a cute crafts girl with rainbow hair but thats not the daria in this situation…the daria in that situation is my boyfriends oc who is a motorcycle racer and tracker for alexei but they are both equally cute and good

[p-st]

my "unkillable" quirk oc's hero name (villain? just for fun civillian name?) would absolutely be "Casualty"

a lil joke based on their casual view on death and well. death

dunno if theyd be a hero, villain, or civillian! theyre all pretty fun to explore. a vigilante would also be cool but i dont think theyd be a super morally upstanding one. definitely theyd kill a villain to restrain them bc "theyre totally fine! yeah, they're definitely dead, officer, but theyll walk it off in a few hours so it's no big!"

okay actually..thatd be a fun universe 🤔

hold on lemme just. type out loud here

Casualty: The Undying Hero! (or is it the other way around? idk how hero titles work) their wounds heal faster than most and if they “rejuvenate” you (crowdsourced name), one quick nap later you'll be good as new! (bc they also heal faster when out though not as fast as them) they will only "rejuvenate" people who have given their full consent or there is no other option (heros they work with sign contracts that give the okay and for what circumstances)(civillians give spoken consent and can request a full contract at their agency if theyre frequent fliers)

casualty decides case by case what the best course of action would be because, unfortunately, they do come across several suicidal heros and civillians alike that just want to know what its like to die. they have several connections with mental health professionals!

like eraserhead, casualty's quirk doesnt give way to much combat ability (pretty good for defense tho is still hesitant to kill someone. villain or not. some ppl can get addicted to the feeling) they compensate during fights with support tools! this isnt something ive thought about so idk what kind of fighting style theyd gear themselves towards but i think id like something pretty versatile.

also kinda looking for the secret to their death since yeah their own body can kill them but they dont really get sick and, while not immortal, they'll likely outlive everyone of their generation

Casualty: The Killer Villain! (do villains even have titles like this lol?) just THINK of the way torture would go! they can drive right up that edge and when they push a little harder and you come out the otherside unscathed you still arent safe bc youre under their whim! not a big bad with huge showy villainous actions but arguably much worse than those who make headlines.

more of an information broker! theyre the one u go to if u wanna make someone break. also takes "assassination" jobs (the PERFECT person to help you fake your death. deals identities like cards) not much in the way of morals and will give you a quick death fix but mostly to get you off their back (thinks ppl who wanna die are pretty disgusting and they revel entirely in their longlasting life. slow and steady, babey) has people contracted to kill others for them.

definitely looking for someone able to kill them. it's a big daring exciting joke to them! fellow villains will make attempts and theyll critique their effort later. also they make a very good partner for ppl trying to test out how much a new move would hurt (other villains come to these spars and time how long casualty stays down. theres a leader board for the longest time down bc it means their move was incredibly violent)

Casualty: A Name as Feared as it is Revered! (okay this one is just for fun) being able to kill but it not sticking is PERFECT for them in their mind. in this universe they couldnt think of another path being better for them (because of their black and white view of “heros save” and “villains kill” and that their quirk fits neither. not really)

theyve got a hit on them from everyone and it makes their days exciting! they compliment the more creative attempts and will drop by the place of person who killed them and leave a sticky note with a full review lol. as mentioned above, kills as a way to restrain! it's to the point where it's so common that whenever it's mentioned that they were involved w a crime a special crew comes to take care of it (you gotta be trained to compartmentalize seeing so many dead ppl that wake up kicking. it does smthn to ya)

theyll target everyone alike! heros, villains, civillians! it doesn't matter youre all ripe for the pickin! theyve got ins with a wide range of ppl and if they cant deal with them personally theyll follow what they see as the best course of action. some people deserve to be publically demolished by a hero, some deserve the horror of a villain, and some deserve the cold hand of civillian law. theyve got a little (major) god complex and believe they have the right to be the judge jury and executioner (in spirit lol) obviously this mindset isnt well received by the public (coughstainchough) but unfortunately they make good judgement calls and they usually dont get the final say in what happens to someone anyway (unless they kill the person and that person learns their lesson or whatever)

does however have a personal vendetta of reforming systems and being very against the pissing contest that are hero rankings. this occasionally makes their judgement calls biased.

the most consistent things would be:

connections. lots of them and the types of connections depend on what path theyre on. theyre good at talking

outside support in the form of weapons or people to "finish the job"

general belief that their choice is more than likely the right choice

loose morals. comes with the territory of a death based quirk

controversial in any universe (except maybe a bonus one where they claim their quirk is not being able to die and not also not being able to kill? that universe would be steeped in self hate and either a bitter death or a life dedicated to putting a mental health support system in place for people with "villainous" quirks)(actually their quirk would still be controversial bc thats the point lol)

permanent casual view on death. doesnt see the big deal

very hm. unconnected to living? sure theyre just excited to be here! but they have the most solid grasp on the inevitability of death while also not super getting that when someone dies they get to stay dead? theres also the tiniest bit of envy there

probably either never got the death talk or got it very late. no one knows how many kids were at risk while being friends with them while young bc they wouldnt put the effort into saving them from life threatening situations (bc casualty always got back up, why wouldnt anyone else)

(bonus story for above would be that once while they were a kid a friend fell off a tree and hit the ground in front of them and they just walked away to keep playing then they came back later and the friend was still there so they went to either their own parent or the kid's parents and told them "[name] is taking a long time to get back up, i wanna play again." queue the sad ending here im aiming for)

upbeat sometimes in a near manic way. genuinely happy really often and finds joy in the smallest things like a slug in the grass or a wildflower coming out of the sidewalk (life in all kinds of places in all kinds of ways!)(theyre big fans of mushrooms. in death theres life or life gives way to life or whatever. idk it's fake deep. i just think mushrooms are cool and wanna project)

anyway this is like. long as shit lol! is anyone even reading this? i love you if you are. i might try to take this character and bend it to fit some of my own worlds bc wow i think theyre cool BUT if any bnha fans ARE reading this please feel free to include them in fics or stuff if you want! link me if you do id literally fall in love (u can name them what u want, dress them how you want, give them whatever pronouns you want, etc.)(dont claim them ofc but using them is fine!)

(and if you want me to idk... flesh out a character for you? 😳 lol id be very open to that! i love worldbuilding!! you dont have to.. aha... unless..?😳😳)

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: still stalking mckenna Joe: what, we can't BOTH like music? Joe: that's gonna be problematic for me tbh Ronnie: mozarts ghost aint gonna possess him in the encore Ronnie: you can fuck off Joe: you can enjoy your night Joe: I'll take my chances Ronnie: take your chances somewhere else Ronnie: or you wont have any Joe: you looking out for me? Joe: not necessary, I promise Joe: you look like you got your hands full as is Ronnie: its a threat Ronnie: shouldnt be necessary Joe: my apologies for making you work harder but its still not cutting it Ronnie: [throws something at him in a dangerous manner watch out everyone] Ronnie: we can both be into cutting Ronnie: not a problem for me Joe: [when he's probably with his flatmate or similar like they will complain honey they basics lmao, meanwhile just like 😏] Joe: careful, people will think you care Ronnie: what fucking people Ronnie: your girlfriend Joe: for one Ronnie: muzzle your bitch or give her shit to sink her teeth into Ronnie: it aint complicated Joe: I don't think not glassing randoms is exactly rocket science either Ronnie: nothing random about you Ronnie: you fucking wish Joe: you want some projection with that Joe: I found you, remember Ronnie: wasnt hiding nancy Ronnie: not still a runaway kid Joe: then don't hide Joe: I weren't looking for you, alright Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: you said there aint no other bastards Joe: I meant tonight Joe: this is just coincidence, nothing more Ronnie: leave then Ronnie: your buyers remorse is about as welcome as you Joe: hardly Joe: that's not what it is either Ronnie: they were all out of shiny sisters baby Ronnie: take what you can get Joe: I've already got one of them Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: i remember Joe: you don't want a refill then Joe: replace the one you tossed Ronnie: you on the spectrum or do you not wanna read social cues Joe: well I ain't leaving either way but if you don't wanna make the most outta it Joe: 👍 Ronnie: keep putting words in my mouth & see what happens to yours like Joe: what spectrum are you on if you think that constitutes a please and thanks Ronnie: take it up with your ma Ronnie: she wasnt about to teach me how to play nice Joe: not really her forte Ronnie: thats why im still waiting for my plane ticket home yeah Joe: possibly Joe: I don't know Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: how olds your good sister Joe: jury is out on good Joe: but 14 so we'll wait and see Ronnie: ill fucking drink to that Ronnie: if she was a write off shed already be Joe: depends on your perspective Joe: I try not to have one Joe: [is at bar] Ronnie: depends on your mas Ronnie: we cant all be black sheep Joe: exactly Joe: they don't really get on Joe: but she's probably just dreading the PTSD a teen pregnancy scare will bring Ronnie: should have kept me around Joe: yeah Ronnie: 1 more abortion and your country would offer me a fucking exorcism Ronnie: fun for all the family Joe: some girls have all the luck Joe: would not believe how hard it is for a lad to get one 🙄 Joe: [just putting the drinks for 'em on their table, when Charlie probs gonna flirt with you like oh hey] Ronnie: your girlfriend will let you hold her hand for her 1st Ronnie: stop sticking it in your cello & youll knock her up in no time Ronnie: [just staring at the drink like you've never seen one before] Joe: come on, she's CoE if I've ever seen it Joe: abortions? sure, but exorcisms ❌ Joe: [tryna just walk off but you know they'd be like who are you hello?! 'cos annoying lmao] Ronnie: not in ireland anymore baby Ronnie: [when you walk off like where the fuck have you got to be my dear] Joe: [at least he's not gonna drop the bomb, just being vague af like oh we met once or whatever goodbye] Joe: you gone yourself? 🛫🍀 Ronnie: on whos 💰 Joe: idk, your pals maybe Joe: but I've fucked off so he can at least top up your drink 'cos its long gone too Ronnie: wanker Ronnie: [comes back and punches charlie love you boy] Joe: [just wait 'til you have your own mindblown with that crazy connection boy] Joe: ✊ Ronnie: [gives him the biggest fuck you look ever like I can't believe you typed that] Joe: [just loling a lil 'scuse him company its not at whatever you said] Ronnie: [comes over, ignoring everyone else obvs, to drink his entire drink and walk off again] Joe: [omg stop flirting you two, everyone like what is going on tbh] Ronnie: [dancing with charlie cos he don't take kindly to being punched but you don't wanna answer his questions either] Joe: [save it for later you nosy hoe] Ronnie: [when you see his poor flatmate going to pee and follow her intimidatingly soz bitch] Joe: [this poor girl is in no way prepared lmao] Ronnie: [thinking she's about to get mugged or murdered] Joe: [when you're 18 and its your first time away from home no doubt this poor girl honestly] Ronnie: you deffo she aint catholic Ronnie: could see her in a penguin house Joe: weren't a question on the flatmate icebreakers Joe: shoulda asked for some segregrated accomodation but thought londoners were meant to be post-religion post-everything so Ronnie: 💔 it aint god its you baby Ronnie: shes no londoner Joe: no, I do know that one Joe: she's from Kent, I think Joe: or Surrey? Ronnie: not holy holier than tho Ronnie: u Ronnie: never gonna please a horse girl mckenna Joe: 😏 Joe: I'll not go there then Ronnie: charlies fucking easy to please Ronnie: youve done the 1 drink minimum & youll avoid the pregnancy scare Joe: I think he's the one that does the pleasing Joe: so I've been assured Ronnie: gets him off dont worry like Joe: I'll sleep easy now, tah Ronnie: lullabies are shit but yeah Joe: 🤞 that ain't his encore either Ronnie: if it aint opening an artery to spray the crowd count me the fuck out Joe: I wouldn't hold your breath Joe: though might be more fun Ronnie: [dramatically holds her breath in his direction like kids do] Joe: [just watching 'cos weird and into it] Ronnie: [lowkey going purple probably because you know she won't stop til she hits the deck] Joe: [just watching 'til the last sec when you obvs gonna catch her] Ronnie: [giving him a look when he does like we have to stop meeting like this but then exposing his tattoo wherever that is cos gotta check that really happened] Joe: [I hope you didn't opt for your booty, lol, probably inner bicep moment or something 'cos not that bitch getting those out at any chance] Ronnie: [just touching it like you're not shamelessly flirting with your brother okay then] Joe: [just looking at her face hardcore 'cos you can pretend you're checking her tat too] Ronnie: [when you come back to yourself and remember you're supposed to hate him for being your brother so you push him away unnecessarily hard and retreat to your corner] Joe: [go off to the bathroom yourself boy] Ronnie: [french exit while he's gone even though it'll make Charlie more annoying] Joe: [have fun Joseph] Joe: you missed the bloodbath Ronnie: made my own Joe: safer bet Joe: on all counts Ronnie: safer for your girlfriend Ronnie: & you Joe: you know she ain't my girlfriend Ronnie: no shit you dont wanna claim that conquest Joe: wrong again Joe: not gonna bang my flatmate who pays the bigger part of the rent 'cos she gets the en-suite Joe: give me some credit Ronnie: shed give you some if you gave it up to her Ronnie: but if youd rather pay rent Joe: there's no way I can keep that going 4 years Ronnie: she aint hacking it Ronnie: you can fucking smell the homesickness Joe: its like, down the road init Joe: ugh Ronnie: & Ronnie: she cant fit her horse in the en suite baby Joe: 😂 Joe: true..I'll make some rich friends to move in when she gallops off into the sunset then Ronnie: theyll not slum it with you for 4 years Joe: but I'm so charming Joe: what's the solution then, sis? Ronnie: sell yourself or kill yourself Joe: 👌 Joe: already with ya Ronnie: yeah dead connected us Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: you're the only one that's allowed to be suicidal? Ronnie: oldest cunt gets dibs Ronnie: aint that how this sibling shit plays Ronnie: whatever you wanna do ive already done it Joe: half the time Joe: but the other half is youngest gets away with it 'cos they're cuter so Ronnie: cause theyre a crybaby Ronnie: yeah you can have that soft lad Joe: 😥 bit of a prerequisite for the suicide Joe: so generous Ronnie: i left you alive so you can do yourself in Ronnie: since youve got such a boner for it Ronnie: generosity begins & ends Joe: You can stop thinking about my boners then Joe: that'll be my attempt at the virtue Ronnie: put em away Joe: you tryna expose me Ronnie: you dont need my help Ronnie: flashers keep more hidden than you Joe: really Joe: don't seem like that's something that would bother you Ronnie: youre that special mckenna Ronnie: every fucking thing you do bothers me Joe: 💘 Joe: check facebook some more, I'll keep my events up to date Joe: can avoid each other easy Ronnie: nah you see me you walk the other way Joe: I got places to be babe Ronnie: yeah a&e Ronnie: if you dont get the fuck outta my face Joe: see, you're well about it Joe: I got it, yeah, we're not family Ronnie: were nothing Ronnie: & if thats what gets you off pay for it like the other cunts do Ronnie: not my 9-5 Joe: I found Soho by myself, don't worry Joe: we're good Ronnie: boss Ronnie: stay there Joe: more expensive than Sophie's horse that Ronnie: train her up to be whatever the fuck you want then Ronnie: 4 years in she could probably kiss with tongue like Joe: you gotta ask yourself why you care Joe: 'cos I know Ronnie: i dont have to ask myself fuck all Joe: deny it then Joe: works for me Ronnie: theres no need to deny theres cunts i wanna talk to less than you Ronnie: or i that i gotta have something to do while i wait Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you're all talk Joe: say no more Ronnie: fuck you Joe: yeah fuck me Ronnie: stick your therapy speak in whatever hole you reckon can take it Ronnie: ill reverse over your head before i submit to this psychology bullshit Joe: not what I'm studying Joe: or doing Ronnie: you reckon if you say im all talk itll get you some action Ronnie: dream on motherfucker Ronnie: i dont look like her that much Joe: bold assumption Ronnie: nah Ronnie: charlies more like a brother than you & ive done everything there is to do to that tosser Joe: bold to assume I'm half as fucked up as you Joe: spent long enough telling me I can't be 'cos I got a ma and now I wanna fuck her, okay Ronnie: wearing it on your sleeve aint you though baby Ronnie: saw your arm & yeah i reckon halfs about right Ronnie: but me at 19 wouldve left you in more pieces than that Joe: you must be proud Ronnie: what the fuck of Joe: your 19 year old self Ronnie: youd have liked me better at 9 Joe: alright but a nonce joke is hardly original Ronnie: neithers wanting to fuck your ma Ronnie: read a book schoolboy Joe: that's you throwing that about Joe: not one I ask the prozzies to act out tah Ronnie: what the fuck else was your lil challenge about then Joe: what was yours? Ronnie: i didnt fire any shots shithead Joe: not true Joe: i got the 🍒 to prove it Ronnie: fuck me youre that cunt Ronnie: 1 sos & i owe you my life yeah Joe: where'd you hear that Joe: what was it, needle not clean or something Ronnie: you dont need to wait for a death that slow Ronnie: fucking do it Joe: why do you do it Ronnie: why do you give a shit what i do Joe: interesting Joe: why do you fuck with your face like that Ronnie: too late to keep it pretty for you Ronnie: should have nancy drewed this shit earlier Joe: you ain't gonna answer Joe: alright Ronnie: cant we both like pain Ronnie: is that your problem Joe: 'course Joe: no monopoly on that shit Joe: its universal, so the books say Ronnie: bullshit do you read fuck all else but sheet music Joe: not no more Joe: but i can read more than scales, like Joe: have to write essays and shit sometimes Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: save this riveting shit for your flatmates Joe: she does art Joe: dunno what the lad does, he's out his room less than me Ronnie: horse cocks out of clay like Ronnie: bet shes the professors pet Joe: 🤞 she gets in an ill-advised affair with a pervy prof Ronnie: every other repressed white bitch has done it Joe: my home is safe Joe: hooray Ronnie: til i sleuth your address Joe: then its petrol bombs and dog shit, I know Ronnie: after theres fuck all left to steal Ronnie: 🤡s in films 🔥💸 Joe: and eat six year old's arms Joe: crack on Ronnie: i aint bitten any kids since i was Joe: I'm proud even if you ain't then Ronnie: raise the bar baby Joe: guess the other lad you were with don't technically count no more Joe: actual kids are that annoying Ronnie: kids get to be annoying Joe: lucky ones Joe: the ones that get to be kids Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: youll be born & die a saint Ronnie: such a fucking martyr Joe: when God comes a calling, you can't refuse, obvs Joe: guess that's what she gets for not aborting you, nice bonus for being good Ronnie: yeah Joe: likes a joke as much as the next Joe: gutted for her Ronnie: cant take the scouse sinner out of her however much irish catholic dick shes taken since Ronnie: 💔 Joe: if its only paddys in heaven, I'll lose the invite Ronnie: you better stay in purgatory then Ronnie: dont want you in hell with me Joe: you're just jealous I'll be too busy getting tortured by some other demon Joe: you're alright, anguishing over my wrongs for eternity sounds like a bit of me Joe: I can hack it, more painful than being sodomized with pitchforks or whatever weak shit you're in store for Ronnie: wanna see your cum face even less Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: 😂 Joe: shh, you already know he's got that sick sense of humour Joe: your own clockwork orange moment for eternity now Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you ain't nothing like I thought when I was 🔎🤔 Ronnie: cheers for the romantic cliche you pussy Joe: you're that special Joe: and welcome Ronnie: what did you reckon id be like Joe: like the rest of 'em Joe: complete the cliche Ronnie: fuck off Joe: what, I did Joe: there ain't a bigger compliment, honestly Ronnie: i dont wanna hear your compliments Ronnie: or how big they are Joe: 😏 Joe: you asked Ronnie: cause i cant resist hearing how fucking soft you are Joe: that makes you pretty fucking soft yourself then don't it Ronnie: fuck you Joe: back here, yeah Ronnie: back at get someone else to knock you out Joe: shouldn't be hard Ronnie: depends how hard you are Ronnie: could be a turn on or off Joe: either way, its incentive for them to go harder Joe: can't lose, me Ronnie: enjoy yourself baby Joe: never Joe: if I lose my overwhelming urge to die what have I got Ronnie: new overwhelming urges Joe: won't be that good Ronnie: write it in your diary i didnt ask for your review Joe: you can do that you know Joe: they've all got profiles, like they're a shit local pub or something Ronnie: what a fucking state Joe: won't miss it when I'm in pugatory Ronnie: if i had a shot for every time you cried your eyes out id miss that Joe: you'd miss having a liver Joe: and functioning braincell Ronnie: didnt mean that kind of shot shithead Joe: your aim is for shit, true Ronnie: or that one Joe: ahh Ronnie: you had me at dirty needles 💘 Joe: s'worth being alive for, then? Ronnie: what the fuck waste of a question is that Joe: why? Ronnie: what do you think Joe: reason I'm asking Joe: if its just another slow way to kill yourself then I'm sound but if its more than that then its a potential for the repertoire Ronnie: if it was id have taken a faster way out Joe: its noted Ronnie: why do you wanna die Joe: its not even Joe: I ain't actually sad, soz to burst your 😥 bubble, IOU some shots, whatever Joe: just wanna turn my head off, not have to participate Joe: deal with any of it Joe: but saying you wanna be put in a coma doesn't quite have the same punch Ronnie: underline that note then Joe: yeah? Joe: not like I've never thought about it Joe: think about it a lot, hence the need for a fucking switch Joe: how cliche to look like I'm doing it to spite her though, eh? Ronnie: whatever you take now thats strawberry flavoured childhood bullshit Ronnie: youve found your prescribed dose of working adult medicine Joe: it don't touch it, not worth taking unless you wanna down half a blister at a time and have a decent kip Joe: get me some and I'll pay you 20% for your trouble Ronnie: come over Ronnie: told you im waiting Joe: alright Joe: if I ask for your current location do I give away that I'm not a decent stalker Ronnie: youve fucking shown that card bitch Joe: figured Joe: be obliging then Ronnie: [a location of who the fuck knows where cos we don't need Charlie or Bronson there for this excuse you lads] Joe: [when you need some privacy for your bonding] Ronnie: [when you need some privacy to shoot up your half brother who you ain't even told your other fam about] Joe: [fun and games] Joe: cool Joe: 🤞 i'm there just after the heroin Ronnie: get here before or ill be in no state to keep obliging you Joe: I'm yet to be initiated, my timekeeping skills are 🔥 Ronnie: give a shit about your cv Joe: I'll be there Ronnie: your loss if you aint Ronnie: dont come crying to me Ronnie: i wont hear it for fucking ages Joe: i'm not an idiot Ronnie: it dont matter who or what you are Ronnie: stopped listening after the ill be there Joe: 💘 Ronnie: get it tattooed next yeah Joe: yeah Ronnie: over the real fucker Ronnie: cause you love a cliche Joe: 'course Joe: have to find another dickhead with a gun though Joe: that one did not know his left from his right Ronnie: get what you pay for baby Ronnie: & we didnt Joe: touche Joe: I'll forgo accuracy for that Joe: and the dirty needle, obvs Ronnie: getting to put his hand on my tit will blow the brains he has like Joe: 😏 Ronnie: but if i toss him off thatll get shit back on track Joe: hot Joe: love that you have a plan Ronnie: cute Ronnie: you reckoning im pure chaos Ronnie: not your manic pixie dream skank Joe: ain't planning on being a composer Joe: least not now Joe: don't need to write about you Ronnie: 💔 Joe: make up your mind Ronnie: you aint on my mind mckenna Ronnie: dont get your balls in a twist Joe: do you wanna be on mine or not Ronnie: i know whats on yours Joe: same Joe: makes a change Ronnie: compose a song about your confusion then like Joe: less cliche than a love song Joe: still Ronnie: do it from the pov of the horse Ronnie: be a hit with your flatmate Joe: you just wanna get me stalked Joe: paybacks a bitch, yeah Ronnie: wanna get your habit paid for before you start it Ronnie: throw her a boner Ronnie: whats the fucking drama Joe: i don't fancy her Joe: nor having the convo about where all her moneys going Ronnie: & Ronnie: i dont fancy the cunt with the tattoo gun Ronnie: got fuck all to do with it Joe: & Joe: you're lowering standards, not getting anything up Ronnie: close your eyes & think of gear Ronnie: youll do anything for a horse like that Joe: let me try it first Ronnie: dont need to hear about your trust issues baby Joe: better stop talking now then Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: shut the fuck up Joe: [you know when its like 'removed message' that] Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: what Ronnie: i cant cut your sense of humour out Ronnie: cant live with it Joe: no funny business Joe: just a buttdial Ronnie: charlie aint here but adorable that you 2 homos hit it off Joe: just scousers gotta stick together or did you know him from back home Ronnie: he didnt give you the rundown Ronnie: mustve made him speechless mckenna Joe: too busy trying to work out how I knew you Ronnie: we grew up together Ronnie: & the mime standing next to us Joe: cool Ronnie: nah Ronnie: fucked Joe: I mean that you still know 'em, talk to 'em Ronnie: we aint trying to throw our family away for a new one Joe: like I said, s'cool Ronnie: like i said hes gonna eat that shit up Ronnie: you fawning over his family set up Joe: good to know Joe: not really my type either, call me fussy Ronnie: fucks sake Ronnie: join the god squad now & save yourself the 12 steps Joe: 'cos I don't wanna do a bloke or my horse girl roommate Ronnie: cause you only wanna do your ma Joe: you can't just give me dud options and come to that conclusion Ronnie: we playing fuck marry kill now Joe: not playing nothing with you Joe: cheater Ronnie: crybaby Joe: you'll 😥 when I have to kill your mate Ronnie: you wish Joe: making people cry is your thing Joe: I don't need to fight that claim Ronnie: like you aint been wanting to save me again since the 1st time Ronnie: thats your thing yeah Joe: save you from what? Joe: smack? obviously not Joe: other self-destructive tendencies? try again Ronnie: it obviously dont matter Ronnie: id never seen you & id still never seen a cunt more excited to do a rescue Joe: and I'd never seen you Joe: maybe you'd got all kinds of fucked up 'cos of all the shit I dragged up Joe: basic decency ain't nothing to get excited about Ronnie: i know how to self soothe im a big girl now Joe: didn't need you self-soothing yourself to death on my conscience Ronnie: didnt ask you to give a shit Ronnie: catholic guilts best left at home baby Ronnie: youll never find a place with the cockneys Joe: about myself? Joe: its barely but hanging on by a thread Joe: soz Joe: dead girls fuck you up Ronnie: not your type either then Joe: ultimate type Joe: don't wanna commit right now, tah Ronnie: 🤞 i od & you can finally sort your misery boner out Joe: too giving you Ronnie: im dead i aint giving a shit Joe: put that on the headstone Ronnie: pay for it you write whatever cliche you want Joe: you want a classy picture affair Joe: got it Ronnie: stop getting me Ronnie: it makes me wanna blow my brains out Joe: its obvious you wanna be seen Joe: no spooky sibling connection required Ronnie: fuck off Joe: what's better than ruining a graveyards ambiance for the mourners for the forseeable Ronnie: theres no room in the ground soft lad Joe: they just chuck you in with the old bones Joe: or 'move' them Ronnie: hot Joe: mhmm Joe: plague pit is the way to go Ronnie: fit the horse & the girl Ronnie: how fucking romantic Joe: that's me Ronnie: ill put john in the 💘 for you baby Ronnie: your ma robbed you blind of so many lennon comparisons Joe: still time to be pretentious with soph Joe: fuck off getting out of bed for good Ronnie: smother her with a pillow & fuck her corpse youll be feeling peace & love Joe: 💎🍓💘 Ronnie: playing with emojis & yourself aint getting you here Ronnie: hurry up Joe: can't make you any closer Ronnie: 💔