#uma/jay

[theamityelf]

Uma answers the phone, and it's the standard "We have your boyfriend!" ransom call.

For a second she just stands there with a thoughtful look, like she's doing mental math. "Uh-huh..."

"Now, if you ever want to see him again-"

"No, shut up for a second, I'm tryna think."

"You...What?"

She thinks for another second and then gives up. "Alright, you're gonna have to tell me who you have. If it was Ben, you'd have said you have the king; if it was Harry or Gil, I'd be impressed..."

"It's not me!" Gil calls out helpfully from another room. "And Jay's sitting on my lap."

"And it's not Jay," she adds. "So, who'd you catch?"

The voice on the other end of the phone grunts in annoyance. "You know, the blond guy."

"The blond guy's here; that's what I just said."

"No, the-! Cinderella's son. I forget his name; he hasn't been on the news in a while." There's an offended noise, ostensibly from a gagged prince of Cinderellasburg who didn't appreciate the comment on his diminishing spotlight.

"Oh my gods," Uma groans. "You got Chad? He's not even my boyfriend; he's my girlfriend's boyfriend. Did he say he's my boyfriend?"

"He said we should think twice about holding him for ransom because the queen of the sea was going to destroy us."

"Well, yeah, but only because it's the cool thing to do." Uma is putting on her sword belt and jacket at this point. "I mean, Audrey would be pissed if I just let him be kidnapped. Is there a reason you called me? He told you I'd destroy you, and you thought 'I have an idea, let's call her?' How'd you even get my number?"

"Listen closely! We took him because we thought the royals of Cinderellasburg would pay a hefty price for his return. But now that we know he's valuable to the queen of the sea as well, we'd like to make a deal. If you sink the ships of our enemies, we'll return the prince to you with all his fingers."

"Dude, I don't even know who your enemies are. Do you have nautical coordinates?"

"There are five ships we'd like you to sink. I'm sending you the first set of coordinates now, and if the ship is not destroyed within the hour, the prince loses two fingers."

"Got it," Uma muses, glancing across the room at Carlos, who gives her a thumbs up.

"And before you think about attacking us, you should know we're landlocked!"

"Yeah, for sure. I hear you." She's putting eyeliner on in the mirror.

"The first ship, now! When you're done, we'll send the next coordinates."

"Great, yeah. Okay."

The phone hangs up.

"That was long enough to get his location, right?" she asks over her shoulder.

"Yep, we got him," Carlos answers. He's in bed, but he pulled his laptop onto his lap as soon as the matter of hostages was mentioned.

"Cool. Guess I'll go get Chad and...I don't know, kill that guy?"

"No killing. Remedial Goodness."

"Oh, like the crown isn't responsible for-...Whatever. I'll just break his knees."

Another thumbs up. Jane, sitting next to Carlos, looks slightly bewildered, but she hops up to grab Uma's hat for her as she heads out the door.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

descendants would be 1000 times better if they just got rid of prince bob or whatever and made these the couples instead

[wr0temyway0ut]

Descendants Discord Profiles Part One: The VKs

Based on this amazing template by @uservalerian and inspired by @catoptrific's beautiful JatP gifset

Part Two with the AKs here!

[faith-trustpixiedust]

[kingchad]

nobody asked but this is my official descendants sexuality chart. i will not accept criticism on this.

[kanzakurawrites]

I read the first Hunger Games book for the first time (yeah, I know I know) and now all I can imagine is a Descendants Au of it.

Like, the villains keep having children, and the children are having children. The isle of so overpopulated, very quickly, and the only solution that the villains think of is making a group of children fight to death each year. This is eight years into the Isle. The goblins row the kids out to the Isle of Doom, and go back at the end of each week. Some are done in that first week, the longest went two months.

The first few times the kids tried not to, they are kids, but then the adults just killed them all.

Unlike the Hunger Games, they allow one male and one female to come out alive (this proves their worth, and their children could be "strong". Remember, these are villains trying to get off the Isle)

Jay ends up in three times, he comes out each of them just a little more haunted.

Mal goes in at ten, she comes out without her wings and half dead. Gil was in that year, and he saved her life. (He found out about her dad, because Mal's flames showed themselves and she survived too many attempts on her life. He becomes a shadow to her, and not even Uma's wrath will make him stop)

Evie ends up in there at 15, going in Dizzy's place. It was the quickest game the Isle ever had. She poisoned the remaining food and water, and thanks to her mother, she was able to go without it while waiting.

Uma and Harry were in together. Uma was 11, and Harry was 12. Ever since they've been inseparable, but they don't talk about what happened in there.

Carlos is a lucky one. His cousin Ivy took his place, and she burned the Isle of Doom to the ground. She's one of the few never allowed back there, as the next year's games weren't as entertaining for the oldest villains. (But that's the year they found out there's just a smidge of magic on the isle, because the few trees that were there grew back)

Many VK's try to disappear to avoid the games. Some live under the Isle in the tunnels, which has driven a couple mad.

And yet Auradon doesn't realize what is happening - or they just don't care.

[bucket-barnes]

How good/bad are the VK’s immune systems?

Think about it, they all grew up on an island more or less built on trash, I feel like that could go one of two ways

1. The VK’s all have crazy good immune systems because of all the shit they were exposed to at an early age

2. Their immune systems are weak as fuck and what would be a cold for an Auradon kid is start writing your will for an Isle kid because growing up on an island covered in garbage exposes you to so many diseases

It is late, I will continue this train of thought tomorrow

[handsometheo]

HELP I'M GOING THROUGH A DESCENDANTS PHASE AND THERE'S NO STOPPING IT

I'm so in love with Harry Hook honestly, and Uma. I mainly love d2 but honestly I'm tempted to write fics for descendants characters

Mostly Harry

I just love the pirates so so much

Okay I'm writing at least one fic for descendants, I may need people to suggest stuff for me

[lilicohirukoma]

Y'ALL KNEW I HAD TO MAKE A DESCENDANTS VERSION

[goforshexgo]

Harry Hook has white boy rizz

[theamityelf]

Uma and Jay are seriously such a lethal pair.

[chlzeas]

DUDE LOOK AT HIM ! he is perfect <3

[descendantsworldbuilding]

the VKs should not be as ok as they were, you can't tell me they don't have any trauma after growing up on a the trash heap that is the Isle.

[ronanceelmaxsupremacy]

Why does Red from Descendants look like Mevie’s daughter😩👀👀 now I need a fic where Red is Mal & Evie’s daughter from the future who travels back in time to prevent something bad from happening to Evie but she travels too far back and lands in the timeline where Mal is still with Ben and hasn’t confronted her feelings for Evie while Evie pines for Mal. Red then has to team who with Mal and Uma (who becomes one of E’s best friends because she helps her deal with her feelings for Mal) to prevent Evie from being in danger by the new Evie in the future while also helping Mal realize her feelings for Evie. Ugh I wish I was a decent writer so I can write this fic😭😭

[lsleofthelost]

descendants tweets [31/?] miscellaneous

[ourownbelovedbohemians]

disney expect me to believe harry (or anyone in descendants for that matter) is straight when he's literally flirting with anyone and everyone onscreen, boy, girl or otherwise. THAT IS A PANSEXUAL MAN RIGHT THERE