#unlike with other aspects that often are barely noticeable

[mercurytrinemoon]

There's something about moon-saturn aspects in a women's natal chart and people hating on them for owning their femininity or talking about topics around equality.

Florence Pugh has a Pisces Saturn-Gemini Moon square and she got hate for showing her nipples, speaking out about unequal pay and I thiiiink she also made comments about being natural (vs having body/face enhancements) IF I'm not mistaken. But mostly for showing her nipples.

Milkie form the band Wargasm made twitch shut down the Heavy Music Awards livestream last year because she was wearing a top made of chains so her nipples were out. Moon-Saturn conjunction in Aries.

Grimes (Aries Moon-Cap Saturn square) posted a photo on instagram that got banned because she showed nipples in a pregnancy announcement post.

Now depends on the rest of the chart but they had the same issue just because they believe bodies aren't a big deal, like it's just nipples. If men can show them, why not women as well.

Then we have other saturn-moon squares like Angelina Jolie or Marilyn Monroe whose charts are more "showy" (air and fire influence) and as much as both were at some point considered sex symbols, they were also scrutinized for showing their sexual/feminine side. With Angelina it's even more interesting because she was masculine and feminine at the same time: kinda like being a tough tomboy (aka if men can do badass things, so can I), yet still exuding femininity.

[friendly-alien-fucker]

Cultural Differences

Warnings: non-sexual nudity, fluff

Pairing: yautja x gender neutral! reader

Summary: the beach episode, your yautja and you go for a swim and some shenanigans happen.

___________________________________

For hunters who regularly, and quite literally, bathed in the blood of their enemies, yautia were surprisingly hygienic.

It was one of the first things you noticed when you agreed to explore the galaxy with your lover. They could be rolling around in mud, get beaten up and bruised with blood running down their mandibles, but they always returned home to you clean and smelling completely neutral.

It was pleasant, really. Seeing as you'd already made peace with saying goodbye to your sense of smell when you met them, having only known them as sludge-covered barbarians back then.

You smiled softly as you admired your body in the one-piece bathing suit and swimming trunks you'd picked for today. There were many things you didn't know about their species, in fact you still find yourself surprised by the gentler aspects of their society.

Mothers asking politely if their pups could touch your odd-looking dreads, elders stopping in their tracks to tell you you did a good job when they see the small rodent skulls you cleaned up and hung on your belt, or that group of overconfident youngbloods that promised to teach any yautja that decided your inferior strength was grounds to get touchy a lesson. 

Their species was full of unexpected kindness. And the reason you were getting ready for a swim today was proof of it.

Yautja Prime, their home planet, wasn't quite what humans would call idyllic. The atmosphere was dense and hard to breathe in, the ground rocky with little vegetation. You'd compare it with a desert, except unlike a desert, their planet had a vast amount of water, stored in vulcano-like craters.

Only problem is, the temperature there is just barely below the boiling point of water. Way too hot for any human.

So after complaining to your mate for the upteenth time, they decided to surprise you with a little trip to another, much cooler planet. Your concerns about deadly creatures lurking being quickly shut down when they told you it was a place often sought out by elders to relax after they were done hunting.

So now all you had to do was pack your few things and board the small freighter you and a few other Yautja would be flying to get there.

The thought unnerved you a little, being so close to a bunch of strange Yautja, especially since your mate would be waiting on the planet already and therefore couldn't protect you if something happened. But even through your innate fear, you knew those thoughts were stupid.

These were trusted elders, not only were their hunting days over, but they would never bother trying to take down a lone, unarmed human. Especially since you were basically trapped, with nowhere to run or hide, and therefore way too easy prey, if they could call you prey at all.

So you grabbed your small bag full everything you'd need on your trip and made your way through the long halls until you reached a much smaller ship.

Standing a little further off, you watched as different Yautja conversed with each other and walked on board, feeling your dread rise regardless of wether it was logical or not.

You tried to make out what they were saying, but despite living amongst their people for a while now, their language still only sounded like random clicking to you. You sighed.

"Okay?" a deep voice interrupted your solitude.

You flinched as a big hand grasped at your shoulder, quickly disappearing at your reaction. "Sorry."

It was another Yautja, seemingly a little older than your mate, adorned with battle scars and markings and missing a tusk. Their voice sounded stiff and robotic, like they learned their English from computer recordings, which wasn't too odd. Many youngbloods had started to learn human languages to aid the relationship between your two species.

Which made you silently wonder why this elder was learning it. Regardless, you bowed your head respectfully, and used your basic knowledge in ASL to greet them. Hearing their rapid clicks, you couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Heeelo, hello." They huffed, placing their hand on your chin to make you look up at them. When you faced them again, their mandibles were spread widely - something you've come to understand as a smile of their own.

"Ooman. I know your language, speak with me." They growled, and you nodded sheepishly. Apparently learning the best through doing is a universal experience.

And like that, your little trip seemed just a little less terrifying.

Nin'tui, as you'd gotten to know them, had shared with you stories of their greatest hunts, occasionally switching to sign language when their English wasn't enough. And while, as expected, the other elders on the ship were less enthusiastic about your stay, they didn't bother to complain. There were even a few who'd join in to chat about their own battles and the planet you were about to visit.

All in all, the trip was less unnerving than you'd thought, and a lot shorter too. Your sense of time wasn't the best up in space, but you could swear it wasn't longer than two hours until the ship gradually slowed, before setting down onto rich brown earth.

Once you set your eyes on the surrounding scenery, you couldn't get out of the shuttle fast enough. If not for your traveling companion, you would've probably been scolded for the amount of Yautja you almost tripped by running outside as fast as you did. But there was no helping it- blue skies! Brown earth! And, most importantly, air that you could actually breathe in!

And when your feet finally hit the ground you couldn't help but let out a long and joyous laugh. "Aaaaaah, I can't believe we're actually here!"

"Believe it." a way too familiar voice called from behind you, making you spin around to throw yourself at them in excitement.

Without flinching, they simply caught you, holding you high in their arms as you all but assaulted their face with kisses and thank you's. Or at least that's what the other yautja must've thought, muttering amongst themselves as if they were viewing something scandalous, a few stepping closer to get a better view of the strange ritual.

But your mate simply purred, leaning into your affection as their voice rumbled against you "You should wait to express your gratitude until you've seen the waters!" they laughed, and you shook your head as you gave them a last kiss between the eyes.

"I'm just so happy to be here! Just look!" you jumped out of their arms, gesturing towards the fields of flowers "this planet is beautiful! Almost reminds me of some corners of earth..."

You smiled at the thought, and they chuckled as they put a large hand on your back. "We should walk with the others, the waters are not far."

And so the two of you walked slowly behind the larger group of yautja, them slowing their pace to match yours as you cheerfully took in your surroundings. Beautiful was truly the right word for it.

Tall grass with taller flowers that swayed gently in the wind, going on for kilometers until reaching a distant forest, that you imagined to be just as wonderful.

After about 30 minutes of walking, elongated by your habit of stopping to sniff every alien plant you could reach, you finally made it to the lake. About 500 meters of fresh water that seemed to almost glow in the sunlight.

Standing in awe, you barely registered your mate sliding your backpack down your shoulders and throwing it to the side. It was only when you felt a claw tug at your shirt that you snapped out of it, matching their equally confused expression.

"Don't you want to swim?" They asked, and you chuckled at the misunderstanding.

"Oh, yeah. These are my swimming clothes." you explained, yet their expression didn't seem to lighten.

"No, no. Swimming." they accentuated their words, pointing towards the water as if you simply didn't hear them the first time.

You nooded, dumbfounded, "Yes. Swimming." but as they continued to stare at you like an alien (heh), you shook your head "just- here, come on."

You took their hand, leading them towards the water and to your relief they followed without complaint. At the edge of the lake, you grinned up at them excitedly, before taking a leap, splashing them with the surprisingly mild-temperature water.

Though as you came to the surface and brushed your wet hair out of your face, you were not faced with the annoyed yet amused expression you'd expected on your mate, not that you were registering their expression at all since seeing them stand there in all their naked glory practically fried your brain within seconds.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" you yelled, making them jump slightly and their mandibles flare.

"What?" they asked, way too calm for your taste.

"You're naked!" you whisper-yelled, and they simply nodded, before jumping into the water next to you.

"Yes. Swimming." They repeated your words back to you with a very deadpan expression.

"But- love, no!" you were furious as you tried to explain this to them "We're not alone out here there are oth-" but as you looked to gesture at the others around you, you were met with even more naked yautja, unashamedly bathing in the sun.

Blood rushing to your face, you try to cover it with your hands, glad to be able to stand at this point in the water. You felt a hand lay itself on your shoulder.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" your mate asked quietly, bending down to meet you eye-to-eye. "I didn't know you'd be bothered by this. You were fine with me disrobing, I thought..."

You simply shook your head at them, forcing yourself to be a grown up and pry your hands from your eyes. "No...no." you sighed "I'm fine."

"But a warning would've been nice, I uhm..." you couldn't help but grin at your own embarrassment "I-I guess I just didn't expect to ever see any nude yautja aside from you, you know?"

Thankfully they didn't seem to judge you for it though, as they simply looked at you with that ever present curiosity. "Humans arent nude around each other?"

"We are but....usually just around friends and family, you know." you bite your lip as you dare take another glance at your surroundings "and usually only around our own species."

You can see them nodding from the corner of your eye, "I understand." yet something still seems to bother them.

"You are free to do as you please, however... you always encourage me to partake in your culture. Perhaps you should try and see this as an opportunity to partake in mine."

Their words stung. They were said without pressure or malice, a simple suggestion- but it stung. They had always gone out of their way to make you the most comfortable, this trip was proof of it, and you liked to think you were doing the same for them.

But were you?

"But what if they'll look?" you asked, your face still a shade darker just at the thought. "Then let them look." they replied in earnest "You are very attractive. Let them see what they don't have."

And people did look.

Though, to your surprise, no more than they usually do. Seeing a human walk around and do human things could only get so exciting you guessed, and nudity truly was natural to them.

Over time and with a little coaxing you were even comfortable enough to briefly leave the water, if only to get your towel and wrap it around yourself.

Letting yourself relax in the sun that, even hours later, didn't appear to go any lower, you're interrupted by the low purring of your mate. Smiling, you turn to face them.

"Thank you for bringing me here," you begin, only for them to interrupt "Thank you for coming. And," they truly seem grateful as they incline their head "thank you for 'stepping out of your comfort zone.'"

You chuckle at the human idiom. "My comfort zone is wherever you are." you say earnestly, and they simply purr louder in response.

[star-going-supernova]

Prompt: it Aint a Glamorous Life, but it will keep you out of jail!

This is tumblr generated prompt number 62! This one had me stumped for a bit, so I tried to go in a really unexpected direction. It’s shorter than my usual, but I’m pleased with how it came out! As you may have noticed with one of my other ficlets, I chose King as Cassie’s last name because I think Cassie King sounds really cool and I haven’t seen any commonly used one, lol.

Blood Money

There was nothing in the world Theodore King wouldn’t do for his daughter. She was all he had after Bridget left. So he’d worked hard, taken any job he could just to stay afloat, and when he discovered his current place of employment was far from clean…

He’d taken the bribe. 

Fazbear Entertainment’s history was stained to begin with, so he hadn’t quite been surprised, exactly. Not about that. How well they’d been hiding it—that’d been the surprising part. 

It wasn’t often, but every now and then, someone got a little nosey. They snooped around and saw something they shouldn’t have. And those sorts of things were secrets that FE really couldn’t afford to let become common knowledge.

Maybe they could’ve been bribed too, except the nosey ones were usually the suspicious ones, the conspiracy theorists, the whistleblowers. They didn’t accidentally stumble on this stuff like Theodore did. They went looking to prove their theories, and they wanted to share their findings. 

And how defiant and proud they were to have been proven right. But only up until they realized they’d doomed themselves. 

Theodore didn’t relish this rare aspect of his job, when code zero came through on his pager. If his fellows thought anything odd about the code that only he ever received, and that he immediately set aside his other work for, they never spoke up about it. Perhaps they, too, had found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time, only unlike Theodore, they swore only their silence. 

Theodore, rather, had found his silence and cooperation could be bought—at a high price, but one his superiors were willing to pay. Employees like him were hard to come by, apparently. 

There was mutually assured destruction in it now, he knew. If any of this side of FE got out, he’d be arrested as surely as his bosses. His fellows, with their carefully averted eyes, would have no charges brought against them. 

Theodore was the only one who dragged the snoopers down to the rancid trash heap with its hungry dwellers. The pits of bright-eyed, sharp-fingered, “defective” bots. They were like pigs; there was never any evidence left by the time they were through with their victims. 

Rare as it was, it did happen, and it had happened enough times since Theodore got involved that he felt only mild pity and an apathy where once there had been guilt.

In truth, Theodore thought these people to be foolish. Yes, very foolish indeed. They came to the pizzaplex and went digging for bloody secrets. And they found them. Yet they never seemed to consider that an already bloody company would be willing to do bloody things to keep those secrets quiet. 

He took his blood money without remorse. It was hard, being a single father. He needed flexible hours to take care of his young daughter and actually be in her life, and all the high-paying jobs were the sort that demanded twenty-five hours of your day, eight days a week and on Christmas to boot. Before this… arrangement, he’d barely been making ends meet, having to work another job on top of the one at the pizzaplex. 

But doing his superiors’ dirty work payed well. Well enough that he and Cassie lived in a house now, with a backyard and nice neighbors and a bedroom just for Cassie. Well enough that he’d been able to quit the other job and be there for Cassie more. Well enough that Cassie no longer had to worry about kids making fun of her secondhand clothes and worn-out shoes, and could instead feel excited-nervous butterflies about going to camp this summer. 

Theodore King would do anything for his daughter. That included sending people to their deaths at another’s order. He didn’t know if that made him a bad man or not. 

But according to Cassie, he was the world’s best dad. 

He supposed that wasn’t a bad trade off. 

[classpectingcaxy]

Re-read your blog, I didn't read the part that said Knight of Breath somehow... (Shinji chair .png)

... So uh... could you analyze Knight of Breath, please?

It's perfectly fine! I'll edit my pinned post to make it more noticeable, and easier to read.

Now, to your question, answered under the cut~

We'll break this into three sections: Class, Aspect, Classpect.

Class: Knight

Knights are an active class. What this means is that the effects they have on their aspect are intentional. They don't simply happen, they aren't circumstances of reality or accidents, they're not a result of outside influence or cosmic happenstance.

The effects on their aspect are intentional and purposefully carried out by the Knight. They impact their aspect willfully, and are an offensive class, meaning they weaponize their aspect.

Weaponizing one's aspect does not always mean "using it in combat". It can also mean using it in various other ways.

An example from the comic: Dave, a Knight of Time, weaponizes Time in various ways. He weaponizes it in combat by summoning alt-Daves to fight alongside him, he weaponizes it outside of combat by using his time travel to abuse the stock market of his planet and grant himself a massive advantage in the financial game, ensuring he never lacks for resources, even in the early game.

Knights purposefully use and weaponize their aspect for the good of all: their own needs as well as the needs of those around them.

Another thing to note about Knights is that they, more often than not, lack their Aspect in some way or another. Dave lacked time, in MANY ways. He lacked free time (constant projects, training, fights with Bro, helping friends, etc), his entire session had less time than was right, most of the early comic is him struggling to keep up with the massive demands being pushed on him and his team. Karkat, a Knight of Blood, lacked his aspect heavily. Blood involving bonds and loyalty, Karkat had none. His "friends" only tolerated him, and barely that, save for Nepeta, and none had any amount of loyalty to him whatsoever.

But due to their lifelong lack of their Aspect, Knights are extremely skilled in making the most of what they DO have. Dave was able to pack days into hours, turning what would have been an impossible task into a salvageable circumstance. Karkat was able to use what few bonds he'd made to great effect, becoming a leader in ways he never imagined and turning uneasy acquaintances into crucial allies and lifelong friends.

What this all boils down to is this: Knights are an actively offensive class that have a deficit of the Aspect they're charged with, and are masters of taking the little they're given and making the absolute most of it.

They also often have a selfless streak, willing to sacrifice their own desires for the good of the many, as seen time and time again with Dave and Karkat, who both were willing to, on multiple occasions, give up their desires to benefit others.

Aspect

Breath is the Aspect of freedom, movement, and air. This manifests in MANY ways. Breath players are often more concerned with their own story, their own lives, than those of others. This doesn't mean they don't care, it simply means that their thoughts tend towards themselves more.

Freedom, Movement, and air can be taken very literally or very figuratively, and neither interpretation would be wrong.

Breath players often experience greater extremes with these things than others do, in some, or even all, forms.

Breath players make excellent accidental leaders, with those close to them looking to them as examples, be it for better or worse. This often leads to Breath players having a notable impact on the lives of those around them, though they are very unlikely to notice this impact until forced to see it.

They are also unlikely to consider themselves worth being seen as an example of anything, oftentimes simply going with the flow and doing what they feel is right for them in the moment, leading them to question why anyone would consider them a role model or good example of anything worthwhile.

Breath players struggle with long-term obligation or plan, and often have a difficult time settling in any form of the word. They can be indecisive, impulsive, and restless, though they can also in rare cases be extreme control freaks, planning out every minute detail.

Overall, Breath players are more likely to have self-confidence issues, worse sense of time, more difficulty seeing outside their own little world, and need more variety in their lives for proper enrichment.

Classpect: Knight of Breath

A Knight of Breath is one who actively weaponizes the Aspect of Breath, lacking freedom, movement, and/or air in their life while making the most of the freedom, movement, and/or air they DO have.

Air in this case can be anything from literal air (breathing) to figurative air (the wind beneath one's wings so to speak), meaning it can even present as motivation or desire.

This can present in any number of ways.

They may be disabled, they may have asthma, may be victims of controlling or hyper-strict family, friends, or places. They will universally lack Breath's concepts, be it the freedom of choice, freedom to leave, freedom to be themselves, the ability to move in some way, the motivation to grow/learn/improve, or even the desire to continue forward in their lives.

It may present as a combination of some or even all of these.

But what freedom, movement, and air they do have will be put to excellent use.

If they can only leave home for school hours (lack of literal freedom), they may put 210% effort in at school, or skip it entirely to do things they would enjoy more.

If they have asthma, they'll find ways to maximize their ability to exert with less effort, giving them less chance to suffer a major attack.

If they feel little to no motivation for anything, they will focus that motivation towards the things that enrich their lives the most.

A Knight of Breath is the very person you want to be locked away with, because even if they seem lazy and disinterested in getting out, I assure you they'll be the first one to find a way, and the most likely to succeed at it, even if all they have is a bobby pin and a prayer.

To pull from my own, personal experiences...

A Knight of Breath may also be one who lacks the freedom to improve their own life, the motivation to push forward, and the desire to change these things. Lack of opportunity to free themselves, lack of reasons to want to, and lack of desire due to any number of reasons.

Knights of Breath, when weaponizing their Aspect, will motivate others to an exceptional degree, pushing them above and beyond what they thought possible, and can provide them the direction and motivation to achieve the goals they set for themselves.

They may also weaponize Breath by restricting (or increasing) the freedom an individual has, either cutting them off from their avenues of escape or by allowing them such a large variety of options as to intimidate them, possibly paralyzing them from the inability to pick a path, forcing the Knight's own indecisiveness on their target.

Knights have an innate sense of how to use their Aspect and all of it's concepts to help or hinder another person, and a strong desire to use it for good. Despite this, they, as Breath players, will often be unaware of the impact they have and may need to be forced to confront the reality of it.

I myself was forced to face the reality of the impact I had on those around me, and it led to a monumental shift in who I was.

This is natural for Knights of Breath. They will often have a "defining moment", an event in their lives where they are forced to see, acknowledge, and understand the effect they have on the lives of others and must choose to either use that power for the benefit of others, or to the detriment of others.

While a Knight of Breath may be your go-to person for things like motivation, metaphorical or literal direction, and other such things, it's important to remember that Knights of Breath rely on outside forces to give them their own motivation and direction, and without others offering them aid in return, the Knight of Breath will never experience the feeling of "a breath of fresh air" so to speak.

When dealing with Knights of Breath, remember: You need to give as much as you take, otherwise you chip away at the very things inside of them that you are asking them to build up inside of you.

Last thing to note: Breath players tend towards Prospit. Their near-universal "go with the flow" attitude makes the Dersite concepts of things like "playing the long game" difficult for them, while predisposing them to be at home and comfortable with the lax and overall "loose" Prospitian ideals.

[canmom]

letter to momo was a really good film. yeah, close to home, I cried a lot, but just on a pure filmmaking level too, this is astonishingly tight, with some of the best naturalistic character animation I've ever seen.

some aspects, like the decision to rotate cars and boats in traditional animation rather than doing the obvious and using 3DCG, seem like a pure flex. (the film isn't entirely without CG, there's a few noticeable shots in the finale, but way less than you'd expect given both the era and Production I.G.'s established proficiency integrating 2D and 3D). the backgrounds? gorgeously lush paintings in muted colours. the yōkai? the main trio are wonderful, each strongly characterised and charming, but there's also the background yōkai who turn out to be animated by none other than Ayumi Shiraishi of Gekidan Inu Curry.

as a story, while the broad strokes are as you might imagine - a personal conflict (Momo's grief and regret on the terms she parted from her dad, her fear that the same conflict could happen with her mum, her mum masking her emotions) meets a supernatural one (three goofy guardians assigned to protect Momo until her dad can reach the 'sky'; they steal from people, Momo has to hide them), shifting gears between playful and sad, then a conflict that brings the two together and forces the yōkai to stand up from being goofy little guys and do the right thing - it's executed with so much grace and care that there's nothing to really argue with.

this is where Okiura's famed realism really works for it, helping to ground the expressions of emotion and often communicate what's going on without dialogue. I don't think you could find many better films to see animated acting. not even Junkers Come Here. Inoue had some amazing shots in Miss Hokusai, but here everything is imbued with subtle character: running down a street or standing up as much as the big stuff. they even manage to match Miyazaki on wild boars.

I'm genuinely surprised it's not more widely known. steering too close to Miyazaki idioms (structurally it's not unlike Ponyo) without the name attached? too far from what Production I.G. is known for? I can't say! Miss Hokusai was the same. quietly excellent animated dramas that barely seem to be acknowledged. I hope it did well in Japan at least.

as it turns out, there's a third one like that. Giovanni's Island will definitely be coming to a future Animation Night. until then, thank you for watching, see you on Tuesday for Okiura's other one~

[manzilianwax]

Ted D Bare | San Jose (408) 805–4929 | How Manzilian Waxing Can Boost Your Confidence and Comfort

When it comes to personal grooming, many people focus on the usual areas—arms, legs, and facial hair. However, there's a growing trend in the world of grooming that’s gaining attention for its benefits beyond mere appearance: Manzilian waxing. This relatively new concept is making waves, especially among men who are looking for a more thorough grooming routine. But what exactly is Manzilian waxing, and how can it enhance your confidence and comfort? Let’s dive in and explore the numerous advantages of this grooming technique.

What is Manzilian Waxing?

Manzilian waxing, often referred to as male Brazilian waxing, is a hair removal technique that targets the entire pubic area. This includes the pubic mound, the shaft of the penis, the testicles, and the area around the anus. Unlike a traditional bikini wax, which typically focuses on removing hair from the bikini line and a bit beyond, Manzilian waxing is more comprehensive and involves the complete removal of hair from this sensitive area.

The Benefits of Manzilian Waxing

1. Enhanced Comfort

One of the most immediate benefits of Manzilian waxing is the enhanced comfort it offers. For many men, dealing with excessive pubic hair can be uncomfortable, especially during physical activities like exercise or sports. Hair can trap sweat and cause irritation, leading to chafing and discomfort. By opting for Manzilian waxing, you remove the hair entirely, allowing your skin to breathe and stay cooler. This can be particularly beneficial during warmer months or intense workouts.

2. Increased Hygiene

Maintaining cleanliness in the pubic area can be challenging with a lot of hair. Hair can trap dirt and bacteria, which can lead to unpleasant odors and potential infections. Manzilian waxing helps mitigate these issues by eliminating hair, making it easier to keep the area clean and fresh. With less hair to trap sweat and debris, you’ll likely find that you stay feeling cleaner and more confident throughout the day.

3. Boosted Confidence

Confidence plays a significant role in how we carry ourselves in social and intimate settings. Manzilian waxing can significantly boost your self-esteem by giving you a well-groomed appearance. Whether you’re preparing for a vacation, a special event, or simply want to feel more confident in intimate situations, a clean and smooth pubic area can make a noticeable difference. The confidence that comes from knowing you look and feel your best can positively impact various aspects of your life.

4. Longer-Lasting Results

Compared to shaving, which requires frequent touch-ups to keep stubble at bay, waxing provides longer-lasting results. When you shave, you cut hair at the surface level, which can result in regrowth that feels coarse and itchy. Waxing, on the other hand, removes hair from the root, which means that it takes longer for the hair to grow back. This can translate to several weeks of smooth skin before you need another session. Over time, waxing can also lead to finer and sparser hair regrowth, making each session a bit easier.

5. Reduced Ingrown Hairs

Ingrown hairs can be a frustrating issue for those who shave regularly. When hair grows back after shaving, it can sometimes curl back into the skin, causing red bumps and discomfort. Waxing reduces the likelihood of ingrown hairs because it removes hair from the root, which minimizes the chance of hair growing back improperly. This can lead to a smoother appearance and less irritation overall.

What to Expect During a Manzilian Waxing Session

If you’re considering Manzilian waxing, it's helpful to know what to expect before, during, and after the procedure. Here's a brief overview:

Before the Appointment

Preparation: Ensure your hair is at least a quarter of an inch long before your appointment. This length allows the wax to grip the hair effectively.

Exfoliation: Exfoliate the area a day or two before your appointment to remove dead skin cells and prevent ingrown hairs.

Avoid Irritants: Steer clear of any products that might irritate your skin, such as strong lotions or deodorants, right before your appointment.

During the Appointment

Consultation: Your esthetician will likely begin with a consultation to discuss your preferences and any concerns you might have.

Waxing: The actual waxing process involves applying warm wax to the area and then quickly removing it along with the hair. This can be somewhat uncomfortable, but the pain is usually brief and tolerable.

Aftercare: After the waxing is complete, your esthetician may apply a soothing lotion or gel to calm the skin and reduce any redness or irritation.

After the Appointment

Care: Avoid hot baths, saunas, or intense exercise for at least 24 hours to minimize irritation. Keep the area clean and moisturized.

Avoid Sun Exposure: The skin can be sensitive immediately after waxing, so try to avoid direct sun exposure or tanning beds.

Common Concerns and Myths

1. Is Manzilian Waxing Painful?

The pain level can vary depending on individual pain tolerance and the skill of the esthetician. While it may be uncomfortable, many people find the discomfort to be manageable. The results and benefits often outweigh the brief discomfort experienced during the waxing process.

2. Will It Cause Skin Irritation?

Some minor redness and irritation can occur immediately after waxing, but this usually subsides within a few hours to a day. Using soothing aftercare products can help alleviate any discomfort and reduce the risk of irritation.

3. How Often Should You Wax?

To maintain smooth skin, it’s generally recommended to get a Manzilian wax every 4 to 6 weeks. This timing allows for optimal hair removal and ensures that you stay comfortable and confident.

Conclusion

Manzilian waxing offers a range of benefits that go beyond just aesthetics. At Teddbare, we know that it can enhance comfort, improve hygiene, and deliver longer-lasting results with fewer ingrown hairs. It's an excellent grooming option for those seeking a thorough approach to personal care. By understanding what to expect and how to prepare, you can maximize your waxing experience and enjoy the increased confidence and comfort it brings.

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[windowtintingservice]

How Does the Skylight Window Tint Work to Enhance Your Living Space?

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Reducing Glare and UV Rays

One of the primary functions of skylight window tint is to minimize glare caused by direct sunlight. Glare disrupts the comfort of your living space and can strain your eyes. It acts as a shield, diffusing and softening the incoming sunlight to create a more pleasant and ambient environment.

Additionally, the tint helps to block harmful UV rays, safeguarding your furniture, flooring, and other interior elements from fading or damage caused by prolonged exposure to sunlight.

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Skylight window tint goes beyond its aesthetic benefits by contributing to the overall energy efficiency of your home. The tinted film is a thermal barrier, preventing excessive heat from entering your living space during the hot summer months.

By reducing the influx of heat, skylight window tint helps maintain a more consistent and comfortable indoor temperature, lessening the burden on your HVAC system. It enhances living comfort, potentially saving energy and reducing utility bills.

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Privacy is crucial in any living space, and skylight window tint provides an elegant solution. The tinted film allows you to enjoy the benefits of natural light while maintaining privacy.

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Conclusion

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[moon-catto]

I know I love you

Part I | Part II

Summary: One sided love with Gojo ended up more painful than you'd think.

Warning: Hanahaki disease, blood, angst, no comfort.

A/N: I always like Hanahaki fic I've read in other fandom. I haven't seen any in Jujutsu Kaisen universe so I decided to write it and suffer with you >:)

Masterlist

He's like the brightest star you've ever seen. The brilliance in his cerulean eyes and the sweet boyish grin he showed is brighter than the sun itself.

To you, he is an unreachable star. Too high and out of your league—he is gifted with blessings from the god, while you are no more than a commoner. A peasant who is lucky enough to maintain a friendly relationship with him. He's always superior in every aspect, unlike you who barely mastered any. You envy the light he emanated because you'll never shine like he does, so you can only look at him behind the shadow of his back.

You've tried, of course. But you're born with inferior cursed technique with a damage that never could compare to his. You're a fourth grade sorcerer and he's a special grade sorcerer. The gap between you is as obvious as the sky and the earth, yet he still keeps you by his side.

More than often, you asked him why he still regards you as one of his friends. He's surrounded with so many extraordinary people, you just couldn't fit yourself in that kind of circle. Out of a place like a sore thumb, you found yourself slowly becoming one with the wall in the corner where he stood in the mid of the room like a star he is.

But you always ask him why.

"You're weak, so you need me to protect you." Is what he always said. At first it felt like a funny answer to you. He's just this naturally cocky after all. But after years, it doesn't feel the same. He missed how your heart broke when he answered it two years later, the dimness of your smile and how forced it was.

He's mocking you.

After all, why would a strongest sorcerer waste his time with a literal nobody like you?

Many people had told you this yet you're just as stubborn as ever, ignoring it while proudly thinking because he sees you as one of his precious friends. But alas, where is that confidence now? Now ask her this question again, she won't have any answer to reply it.

What am I to you?

Why am I constantly thinking about you?

Months turned into years, these constant anxiety has finally bloomed into something far worse.

You watched in pure horror as blood dribbled from your mouth and staining the carpet below you. You touched your chin with trembling hands, picking a a blue petal covered with your fresh blood.

The salty smell of blood clogged your nose and made your eyes watery. You ran as fast as you could to your bathroom when you felt another bile coming in your throat. You slumped down by the toilet when you coughed up blood again. Petals of foreign blue flower floating on the toilet.

Sweat trickles down your forehead to your neck. Your chest heaving heavily because so many thoughts flooding your mind.

Your first thought is to call him is almost instinctively, but you turned silent when you heard him groggily answered from the other side. A foreign young woman called him soon after.

"Nothing. Sorry for disturbing you."

Pretty blue petals with soft white edges.

You sobbed when the realization hits you. You wanna curse him, hurt him, hate him. But you unable too, because now you realized just how deep you loved him.

And you know he won't love you back.

Days passed slowly. With the constant pain piling up in your lungs like a tree growing a new branch each time you saw him. Still as bright as you remember.

You smiled bitterly when he didn't notice the state you are in. The dark eye bags under your eyes, your dry lips, and bony hands. You look even more horrible than before.

"If I keep looking like this then he would never like me." You said to yourself mindlessly. Ever since you discovered your disease, it's hard to maintain focus so you often talk your thoughts out loud—but not when he's around. Whenever he's near your focus would come back like a magic because he is the only thing that you can set your mind into.

throb

A mild pain in your chest. Even the simple image of him in your mind made you feel pain.

You wiped the remnants of blood with your sleeve. It's good your uniform is black, so no one would notice the dark stain of blood on your clothes. Your handkerchief is already full with blood and petals after all.

Then when you're out from the bathroom, you were met with Nanami.

"Hello, Nanami-san." You're suddenly light headed when you tried to bow to him, losing your footing you almost fell onto the floor but luckily Nanami caught you on time.

"Careful." He calmly help you back standing despite your flustered state. You're not usually this clumsy, but when he noticed your pale visage he immediately support you to walk with him.

"You're very pale, Y/N-san." He told you.

"A-ah, I'm having anemic episode. That's why I'm feeling dizzy recently." You laughed but it came out humorlessly. It hurts your conscience to lie to him, but then it's not like you're completely lying to him. All these coughing up blood has reduced your hemoglobin level. "You can stop here, I can do well on my own Nanami-san."

"No, I insist Y/N-san. You look like you might be blown away by the wind."

He's serious but you couldn't help but to let out a chuckle. A genuine laugh that had him smiled faintly.

"Then please take me to Shoko's place."

"Sure thing."

You're only made halfway to the said place when out of nowhere, Satoru appeared and pulled you to his side.

"Y/N! I was looking for you everywhere!" He sings songs, hugged your tiny frame with his larger body.

"Y/N?" Nanami was about to scold Gojo from being rude but stopped when your face become even paler than before.

A violent throb in your chest suddenly appeared when his fingertips touched you. You choked out a sob, this pain is three times more severe than usual— just a light touch from him could made you feel this much pain. What if you see him with another girl?

Another throb.

"Y/N!" Both of them immediately hold you up. The strength had left your legs at the mere mention of your name from him.

"Let me—" Satoru offered to hold you, but you turned to Nanami instead. Ignoring his outstretched hand.

"Please take me to Shoko, Nanami-san." You whimpered, closing your eyes because of the ✨ immaculate ✨ pain that slowly overtook your senses. You missed how Gojo look at you in disbelief. Did you just ignore him?

"Okay." Nanami carry you bridal style and quickly ran to the school infirmary, Gojo followed suit behind.

With his height, he can see you closed your eyes shut— you look in so much pain that his heart also clenched so tight, it's suffocating.

The image of you ignoring him and turned to Nanami instead etched in his mind like a plague. His heart is burning with both anger and bitter ... Jealousy?

He quickly shook his head. He shouldn't think like that, right now your health is what matters to him.

"She's having a pneumonia." The gasp can be heard from both men when Shoko explained your condition to them. "It's a bit severe so she will need to rest for a few days."

Nanami sighed while looking over to your collapsed figure on the bed. "That's why she's rarely go out these days..."

Gojo frowned at that. Pneumonia? You never told him this. Even if you discovered it recently, you should tell him about it. He's your best friend, He'd gladly help you so you won't have to be in so much pain like this.

"She's going to be better, right?"

Shoko looked at Gojo with a sharp gaze that made Gojo raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"Nothing. I think she'll be better with some rest, so please don't come here and disturb her. Understand, Satoru?"

"Why only me?" He whined. "Nanami should also be scolded!"

"He already understood without me telling him." Shoko turned then proceeds to ignore Gojo's wailing by giving them some tablets. "'ll give you some medicine so you won't be infected with the disease. So off you go now."

It needs a bit forceful attempts to get Gojo out, but finally he agreed to leave after Nanami agreed to have a lunch with him.

"You owe me big, Y/N."

Your closed eyes fluttered open. "Thank you, Shoko." You hummed in comfort after Gojo finally left. "...How do you know?"

"It was obvious. Don't underestimate a doctor's eye." Shoko simply replied and you smiled bitterly. "It's him, right?"

You nodded weakly. Tears started to overflow your vision when you feel Shoko's patting your head gently to calm you down, but it only made it harder to hold back your tears. "It hurts Shoko... It really hurts..." You let out your sobs, it's also too painful for Shoko.

Shoko leaned to give you a hug. "I know, Hun. I know."

The medicine Shoko gave you did wonders to ease the pain. The pain is still there but less intense than before.

"This will reduce the pain." Shoko told you. "But don't take it too often, it will numb your feelings too."

Hanahaki disease.

It's a curse for unrequited love. Sorcerers are more likely to get this cursed disease because they're more exposed to cursed energy. When a sorcerer's falls in a one sided love, the cursed energy inside them became chaotic and the pain they're experienced gathered and formed into a small cursed flower bud that slowly growing up inside their lungs. The more pain the sorcerer experienced, the faster the bud grows.

And finally the bud blooms into a mature flower tree, bursting from their chest and effectively killed the sorcerer.

The flower tree keeps growing even after the sorcerer's death, and soon the dead body became one with the tree itself.

"If I become a tree, will this pain disappear?" You closed the book In front of you mindlessly.

"Why'd you wanna be a tree?"

"Waah!" You almost fell from your chair when Satoru surprised you with his presence. A goofy smile adorned his face, he's not wearing his blindfold so you can see his beautiful eyes looking at you with a glint inside them.

"So, why a tree?" He asked again and chose to sit beside you. You're in the school library, there's a lot of empty chairs available. Why did he choose to sit here of all the places?

The pain came back hurting at the sight of his innocent smile. He looks extremely handsome with the navy button up shirt he's wearing today.

You unconsciously moved your chair away from him.

He's taken aback with your action. So he moved closer.

You moved further away.

He moved closer again.

You think this isn't going to end, so you stand and exit the library while clutching the book on your chest.

"Y/N!" Of course he chased after you.

What happened to you? You're becoming more distant ever since you're out from the infirmary. He even feels you purposefully avoiding him lately but now it's proven to be true.

You are avoiding him.

Ouch, he never thought you would hurt him like this. But he's never going to let you go without having any proper explanation.

"Wait!" He held your wrist in panic.

You jolted when his touch opened the wound in your heart— you slapped his hand off from your wrist.

Ah, the look on his face.

You think you'd be at least comforted when you see that expression on his face. You should be.

So why you're the one crying?

He's also surprised to see you suddenly crying. He's trying to approach you, but you took three steps back.

"Don't go near me." You warned him between sobs, and oh— his heart cracked at the sight of you're crying. He wants to hug you, comfort you, and making you smile again but you refused him to go by your side.

"Why?" He can't contain the anger in his voice. "Did I do something wrong? Why are you avoiding me?"

"You did nothing wrong." You wiped your tears but a new batch of hot tears flow again. "I'm the one who's wrong."

He doesn't understand. "Look, we can settle this by talking..."

"No. I don't want to talk with you." You sniffle and he bit his lips. What are you doing right now? Don't you know it's killing him for not be able to touch you right now? Seeing you're crying almost pained him physically. "I'm a bad friend. So just go and find other friend." You tell him.

"Bullshit." The edge of his voice is rough. His patience becomes thinner after hearing your words. "You're my best friend. We can fix this if you give me a chance, Y/N."

He's practically begging for you when you know he doesn't need to. It's your fault from the beginning. It's your mistake to fall in love with him when all he does is appreciate you as his good friend. You betrayed him by crossing the line, how could you fix your relationship with him?

You know this disease will further hurt you and him. So you need to put an end in this.

You smiled at him. He froze, he never saw you smiling so hollow like that before— ah wait. He have seen it before.

"Why do you keep me as your friend, Satoru?"

Now he realized it. Your weight lost, your tendency to avoid him and others, the dark bags under your eyes. Your weary smile. Your anemic episode.

You're slowly broken and he doesn't even know it.

Because you always with him. He just realized it when you're distancing yourself from him.

"You... Since... Since when ....?" His voice cracking under the heavy realization, his eyes caught your empty ones and he immediately shuddered.

"Since a long time ago."

Your answer made his shoulders slumped down. You can't stand him broken down because of you so you continued.

"Don't worry. I'll get over it." You told him. "Sorry. I didn't mean to fall but here I am." You chuckled. The pain started to build inside your chest, you held back a bloody cough to tell him. "That's why I'm a bad friend. So let's end this friendship." You fished something from your pocket.

A small medicine plastic with a capsule inside it he knows well what its' for.

After all, that's the only medicine for that specific disease.

"But don't take it too often, it will numb your feelings too."

"No, don't —" he ran before you could react, he engulfed you in his tight embrace. Not daring to loosed it any bit in fear you would run away again from him. "Don't do this to me!"

"I don't wanna see you sad because of me." Your body trembled in his secure arms. "I'm a coward because I can't tell you even if I died."

"You're not dying!" He practically screamed. "I'll bring you to Shoko now!"

But then you coughed blood, the amount of blood that's coming out from your lips is more than concerning. He doesn't care that you ruined his perfectly ironed shirt when he's focused on the blue petals coming out with the blood.

You choked and struggle to breath, and he put his hand inside your mouth to pull a whole blue flower from your throat to help you breathe better.

Translucent, almost like his eyes.

"FUCK!"

He took you by bridal style and immediately teleported to Shoko's office.

"SHOKO!"

Your pale body laid in the glass coffin specially made for hanahaki victims. The white haired man stood beside you, adorning your unconscious body that's wearing a gorgeous white dress. You look peaceful. Not in pain like you used to.

The blue flower blooming from your chest and between the strands of your hair—he supposed to hate it. But you look ethereal because you look good with that flower. The flower that resembles his eyes.

Like a princess in a deep slumber—he wished he's a prince who would wake you up with a true love kiss. He missed you. He missed you badly. He missed seeing your eyes, your smile, your warmth, and everything about you. He never wished for anything but for you to be awake. He's trying to find a cure for you, two years had passed and he's stuck with nothing.

"Please wait for a bit longer." He caressed your coffin with such tender, as if he's caressing your skin. "I'll find you a cure. I will. I promise you, love."

The Moonlight shines brightly from the window, illuminating your figure just perfectly. You're so beautiful and always look beautiful. If only he had the chance to say it.

He gazed at the moon outside. You always love stargazing and watch the moon. The expression on your face when you gazed at the moon, he wished you gazed at him with such tenderness too.

He unconsciously smiled at the fond memories.

"The moon... Is very beautiful tonight, isn't it Y/N?"

Upon the cold moonlight that night, a flower bud grows inside his chest.

Part II

Masterlist

[luvendiary]

Hi, if you don't mind me throwing in requests,, Can you do a Hiccup x reader where Reader is an adopted daughter/apprentice of Gothi,who is a silent supporter and admirer of Hiccup, and is someone who recently just found her voice to tell Hiccup her feelings for him?

a/n: i absolutely do not mind. thank you for request lovely reader, i had a great time trying to find the right voice for the reader character. i hope i made justice to your request, and i hope you enjoy! as always let me know what you think!

Sweetest of Melodies

Life at Berk was hectic from the early moments in which sunlight touched the earth, until the moon was at its highest point. You, however, remained a little more calm in your way of going about your day. This could be due to the fact that you weren’t exactly from around here, the viking lifestyle was not something that was properly yours. You don’t exactly remember when or how you arrived at Berk, but your mother -or the closest thing you had to one- made sure you didn’t forget where you came from.

“Roots are important to flourish,” she had said one late night, while you were helping her make a mixture of herbs of some kind. Gothi was a quiet woman, however, when she did talk, you could expect a wise spew of words of some kind, or simple nonsensical mumbling. This was a habit you had picked up yourself, and as the years went by, your voice could be heard less. Nowadays you only spoke when you were alone with Gothi, by yourself or when you felt you most absolutely needed to.

You supposed it did bring you some relief to know that there was a reason for your differences. So, you didn’t mind being unlike the other young vikings in some aspects.

Dragons was one thing you had in common, but while they were unafraid to ride straight into battle or go on spontaneous missions, you preferred taking care of them from the ground. You were a keen observer, and had started to fill up notebooks with annotations and drawings of your scaly friends.

You did wish you could be like them though, in the sense that they were brave and bold. You often fantasized what it must be like to fly a dragon, and what it would be like to be a part of the team of dragon riders. Maybe that way you could have an excuse to get closer to a certain brown-haired, green-eyed boy.

As you finished the last details of one of your mother’s various Terrible Terrors, she had come up to you while offering an empty basket with just a few dry leaves in the corner. You stood up, putting your materials aside and took a leaf in between your fingers, while rubbing it and bringing it up to your nose.

‘We’re running out of mugwort’

“Mugwort it is,” you said as you took the basket from her boney hands and gave her a goodbye kiss. “I’ll be back before supper.”

Gothi offered you a small smile and waved you goodbye.

---------------------------------------------------------------

You loved your job, however, it could be time consuming, and sometimes frustrating. Like right now.

You had left your basket in the ground to look for the mugwort. Unfortunately, there didn’t appear to be a lot of it, so you had to thread deeper into he woods, and the bushes for that matter, to get the smallest amounts of the damned herb.

“Stupid plant,” you muttered to yourself as you emerged from within the shrubbery with barely a handful of it. You quickly threw it in the basket and started to prick out the thorns that had inserted themselves into your arms.

As you were occupied with your current predicament, you didn’t notice the presence of another person that had made it’s way into the forest, drawn by the sound of your bickering.

It wasn’t until they cleared their throat that your attention was drawn to them.

With a light jump, you turned to face them, only to be found with the chief’s son: Hiccup Haddock along with his trusty companion Toothless.

Your eyes went wide and you froze, like a deer in headlights.

“Uh… I-I’m sorry,” said Hiccup. “You just seemed…occupied. And I didn’t want to scare you.”

‘Yes, well, I don’t think that worked out,’ you thought. However you just offered him a shy glance before returning to your thorn-infested arm.

“Let me help with that,” Hiccup said as he approached you and without previous warning took you arm. “So, you’re Gothi’s daughter, right?” he asked, not lifting his view from your arm

A nod was all you offered him as a reply, you had started fidgeting with your free hand now; you hadn’t thought that this was how today was going to go: deep in the woods with the boy you had been admiring from a distance ever since you arrived to Berk.

Hiccup chuckled, before taking out a thorn, causing you to hiss. “The woman loves you,” he said. “I know she’s not particularly vocal, but believe me, she does.”

Your cheeks tinted a slights shade of red, as you heard his words. You didn’t know what to answer to that so you didn’t.

After a silent moment, Hiccup spoke again. “I have to ask, I’ve seen you around and I’ve seen the bond you have with dragons. Why don’t you join the dragon riders?

Your flustered state didn’t diminish at his questioning. Would he think you’re pathetic if you told him you had never ridden a dragon? Instead you opted for the safest option: not saying anything at all.

Hiccup seemed to get the message despite your silence. “You’ve never flied before, have you?”

You shook your head.

“Why?”

You shrugged and averted your eyes. Truth was, you just thought you would eventually get to it, but you never did.

“That changes today,” Hiccup said with a beaming smile. You could tell he was as passionate as you were for dragons, if not even more so, for he had more expertise in the practical area.

Your eyes went wide once again as you shook your head vigorously.

He didn’t say anything, and instead mounted Toothless. Amongst your talking you hadn’t realized you were now free of thorns thanks to the brown-haired boy.

“Toothless and I are taking you for a ride,” he finally said when he was strapped in.

Before you could give him any reason as to why this was a terrible idea, you had already been swooped up by the night fury and were now desperately grabbing on to Hiccup’s waist.

“Hold on!” he shouted through the wind.

‘I’m trying!’ you though as you tightly closed your eyes.

Suddenly, you came to a steady halt. You could feel a soft breeze blowing through your hair, and pleasantly cooling your face.

“You can open your eyes now,” Hiccup said.

You did so, and your breath was knocked out of your lungs. You were flying above the clouds, and being presence to one of the most beautiful sunsets you had ever seen in your life. The reds and pinks and yellows, blended together to make the most perfect painting.

It was completely and utterly beautiful.

---------------------------------------------------------------

After your interaction with Hiccup, you made your best effort to avoid him. That meant keeping mostly to yourself in Gothi’s hut and preparing the salves and mixtures of herbs that were so often needed in Berk.

You had decided to keep admiring the dragon riders form a distance, even if you couldn’t stop thinking about that day with Hiccup. Flying with him had awoken something in you that seemed to have been dormant for far too long.

The times you did go out of your hut was to cheer them on from the shadows in the dragon races, or to send them off to missions.

You had decided that you could not let Hiccup know about what you felt for him, even if it was eating you from the inside.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a voice outside your home.

“If you don’t go in there and confront her, I will,” a female voice whispered rather harshly.

“I really don’t think this is a good idea Astrid.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you don’t get paid for thinking then.”

At the sound of his name, you panicked slightly, but not much could be done, for not a moment later a knock on the door was heard.

“(Y/N)?”

You stood completely still, hoping that he would go away.

“(Y/N) I know you’re there. Gothi told us. I just want to talk.”

You sighed and silently cursed your mother before opening the door.

In front of you stood Astrid and Hiccup. The blonde girl stood with a friendly smile plastered on her face as she waved at you. You waved back shyly.

Hiccup however, appeared to be in a more serious mood.

“Can we talk? Please.”

‘Funny’ you thought.

You held on to the door, as if it was providing you with a life line. You didn’t want to talk, you were not good at talking. But your body seemed to disagree with your thoughts as you nodded.

Astrid patted Hiccup in the back before leaving.

You opened the door a little wider after an awkward a moment of silence had passed between the both of you, signaling to him that he was welcome in.

As soon as he stepped into your home, you occupied yourself with making tea.

“Why are you avoiding me?” he said as he sat on the table.

You froze, vikings did tend to be blunt.

How were you supposed to reply to that?

Hiccup suddenly took out his notebook. He slid it across the table and tapped the piece of wood he uses to write with to catch your attention before rolling it over so you could use it.

‘Not avoiding you’, you wrote.

“Yes you are. I just want to know why. Did I do something wrong? Because if I did, tell me, I can fix it. Or- or I can just leave you alone if that’s what you want.”

You tapped the piece of paper once again as a response to his question.

“Then what is going on?”

You picked up his notebook and quickly scribbled a single word down.

‘Tea?’

Hiccup sighed in frustration “(Y/N), please…”

‘I think you’re amazing and I probably might have developed a crush on you. And you taking me on that ride made me feel so alive, and I probably won’t ever feel that way again.’

‘I don’t know what you want me to say Haddock.’

“At least you’re using my last name now,” he said standing as he paced around angrily.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

“I’ll tell you what it’s supposed to mean (Y/N). I haven’t stopped thinking about you ever since I saw you that day in the forest. I have spend every day since then trying to pin you down and talk to you again or something, but you have gone out of your way to avoid me. I know you aren’t fond of talking, I understand that and I will not force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. But now that I found you, you can’t even look me in the eyes. It’s maddening.”

You were left speechless.

“This was not a good idea,” he said as he made his way to the door. “I’ll leave you alone now, I’m sorry to bother yo-”

“I like you Hiccup,” you said in a low voice. It wasn’t big or showstopping, but it was something. It was a start, and if you where being honest, it was a sentence that you never thought would’ve left your lips if it hadn’t come to this.

He stopped in his tracks. “What?”

“I like you Hiccup,” you repeated, in a louder voice this time.

You have never heard a silence quite this loud before.

He turned to face you, disbelief plastered on his face. A tentative smile wanted to break through his lips. “Say it again, will you? My name. Please,” he said as he approached you and softly placed his hand on your cheek.

“Hiccup,” you whispered.

He kissed you.

And just like that, you felt as if you were on Toothless watching that sunset all over again. It was breathtaking.

“Again,” he pleaded.

“Hiccup,” you repeated louder this time with a small smile breaking through.

Another kiss.

“Again.”

“Hiccup.”

Kiss.

He laughed, his eyes glimmering with happiness.

“I like you too (Y/N).”

This time the kiss lasted a little longer than the previous ones had.

When you broke the kiss, he looked down at you with the most precious smile you’d ever seen.

“Hiccup,” you said, this time without him asking, a soft giggle accompanied the word.

Another kiss.

And as the cycle repeated itself again an again, you thought to yourself that maybe, just maybe, talking wasn’t so bad after all. Not if this was the outcome.

[nikibogwater]

I’m only 6 chapters into my Golden Wildfire run, but I’m already fascinated by all the ways the plot, and more importantly, the characters have changed simply as a result of Byleth not being there. The most noticeable stand-outs to me so far have been Claude and Ignatz (though that’s mostly just because they’re some of my favorites so I tend to grind Supports with them right away).

Three Hopes is exploring an aspect of Claude that I always wanted to see--namely, how did he cope with the stress of running the Alliance during the five-year timeskip? In Three Houses, we’re never shown Claude as being anything but confident and adept. He has backup schemes for his backup schemes, and he is able to keep his head above the chaos of war and hold the Alliance together. He’s a reassuring presence that guides the story, helping Byleth discover the truth of their origins. Unlike the other lords’ paths, Verdant Wind isn’t Claude’s story--it’s Byleth’s. So to see the focus shifted onto him in Three Hopes, to see him as more than just The Only One Who Has it All Together in This Goddess-Forsaken Country--it’s really interesting. He’s still cocky, clever, and charismatic, but he’s also a lot more vulnerable than we ever saw him in Three Houses, often expressing his anxieties and uncertainty regarding his position as a leader. It feels like a very natural response to his situation, especially considering that he’s barely even 20 when he takes his position at the Leicester Roundtable. It's also not too far of a stretch to imagine that he had to deal with these same anxieties during the Three Houses timeline, and that the reason Claude is as well-adjusted as he is in that game is because he went through this character arc while Byleth was missing. I always headcanoned something along those lines, but I’m really happy to be allowed to see it in Three Hopes.

And then Ignatz is the total inverse of Claude’s situation! In Three Houses, Ignatz is characterized as very honest and emotionally vulnerable. He opens up to Byleth about his love of painting, as well as his worries about disappointing his family. He’s not ashamed to admit that he’s scared, and his timidity often manifests as suggestions/requests that the group follow a safer plan. But in Three Hopes, we see a version of Ignatz who never had a professor to encourage him in his dreams--a version of Ignatz who went on to become a fully-realized knight, and has all but given up on his artistic endeavors. Even more heart-wrenching is the fact that this Ignatz is very emotionally closed-off compared to his Three Houses counterpart. He is constantly putting on a brave face, assuring Shez and the others that he’s fine, he’s not scared, he doesn’t regret becoming a knight. His cheerfulness no longer feels entirely genuine, because he very rarely lets anyone see him as anything else. But every now and then, he’ll let something slip--just a little hint here or there that implies deep down, he’s not satisfied with the choice he made, and he’s still just as scared as he was in Three Houses. 

Again, I’m only up to chapter 6, so there’s still plenty of time for things to go horribly and for all of the above to be rendered null and void, but for this moment in time, I’m really enjoying the way Three Hopes handles this What-If scenario, and I’m excited to see what it does with the other characters too.

[fabricated-misslieness]

pairing: zhongli x adeptus male reader

req: no | wc: 830 | cw: suggested nfsw, naked men | part 2 | minors dni

a/n: i researched for this but it really didn’t matter, also not in the mood to write nsfw. anybody can req a part two sometime

Some Adepti may take humanlike forms, but it is important to note that no matter how human they look, they are not like other mortals. The only exception being the Liyue Qixing’s secretary, Ganyu, who is half adepti, half human.

Adepti did not need anything humans needed. They did not need to bathe, eat, sleep, etc. Many adepti did not associate with humans anymore. However, this didn’t mean that they did not indulge themselves in mortal tendencies.

It was common knowledge that Rex Lapis is also an adeptus. 

Though, unlike other adepti, he mingled with the citizens of Liyue. As such, he learned much of their customs, rituals, and rich culture.

For example, humans bathed in hot water, flower petals, and bubbles as a means of relaxation.

He wanted to recreate many of these things with you, an adeptus that, until Zhongli’s recent retirement, had lived in Jueyun Karst for the majority of his illuminated immortal life.

You were only just learning everything that Liyue’s people had to offer. Consequently, Zhongli took it upon his hands to teach you.

Luckily for you, he taught you physically, instead of giving you some long lecture.

Today, you bathed in a river of your former home, the home to the Adepti. Not many humans visited the area nowadays, hence it would be peaceful and secluded.

You couldn't - or shouldn't - contaminate the river with whatever humans used to make bubbles in the water, Zhongli told you it was probably not safe for animal ingestion, so you lacked some aspects in your recreational activity.

Even so, it was quite relaxing. You could see why humans enjoyed it so much.

The only somewhat concerning thing was the lack of clothing. You simply could not understand just how humans could maintain platonic relationships in areas such as public springs.

You associated nudity with pleasure and intercourse because, as Rex Lapis, Zhongli would often take different forms to entertain you - after many centuries of the same form, things tended to get boring.

Apart from that, there was no need to do something such as change your clothing.

So it was a little hard to maintain in your own place when your life-long lover was nearby, fully bare just as you were.

He was beautiful, propped up against a rock, eyes closed and clearly relaxed. The position showed off his strong back, broad shoulders, and tender neck.

No matter how much you stared, the God of Geo would not notice, and it was killing you.

However much you had to struggle, you could keep your hands off him as long - as long - as he did not do anything to affect you directly or otherwise.

That proved to be a troublesome thing.

Zhongli stretched, groaning as some joints cracked and moaning at the overall pleasing feeling. One little gesture and you teetered over the edge.

"Zhongli."

"Hm?" He turns to you curiously. Upon recognizing the ravishing look in your eyes, he smiles brightly. "What is it that you need, (y/n)?"

He knew what he was doing to you and he knew how to make your desire grow stronger. After centuries of being together, he knew everything about you.

“You know what I need, Zhongli.”

“Do I?” He tilted his head away from you, tapping his lip as he thought. “Do I..?”

“Morax.” At the call of his adeptus name, he looks at you again. He sends you a sly smile, turning his whole body towards you fully now.

“You’ve caught me, I do know what you need.” He licks his lips and beckons you over with a finger, “So come get it.”

He stayed in his place as he watched you come to him. The stream merely reached your hip, which unfortunately for him, obstructed his view of one of his favorite parts about you; but it gave him the opportunity to admire the rest of you. His gaze drifted up your abdomen, to your collarbone, up to your lips, and he wanted all of it.

Nudity was indeed a part of his mortal life now as Zhongli, despite that, it was perfectly normal to crave your lover’s touch; especially when they were bare and enticing.

You didn’t know such a thing, though.

The moment you were close enough, the adeptus brought you in for a kiss. Your hands found themselves on either side of him, supporting yourself and encasing your lover. 

Zhongli pulled back, much to your dismay. Before you could blink, he switched your positions. Now, you sat at his spot, back against the rock and he stood over you. He relished in the shocked expression on your face before you both shared a playful, and somewhat flirty laugh.

He hovered just above your lap, aligned perfectly so that you could press into him anytime you wanted to.

But, for the time being, Zhongli took your breath away with another rough kiss. 

Today, you were at the mercy of your mesmerizingly beautiful lover.

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: When you're pregnant

SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Rules | My Original Post | Request | Socials

Since I've already done this request for 049, he wouldn't be included here

To read 049 x Pregnant!Reader, please click HERE

SCP 073 (Cain)

I think Cain is that sort of guy who would be somewhat sus when it comes to you being pregnant

Like he's pretty intelligent and has witnessed some symptoms and heard pregnancy stories from the site he resides in

He's probably as cared for them too, for example, telling them to rest and bringing them some food that's available in the canteen

I'd say Cain already has adopted some fatherly aspect already since he would've been one of the oldest SCPs and has helped younger recruits (and he's Abel older brother but we aren't gonna talk about that)

If you haven't told him already, or you didn't know yet since it was still too early, he would probably think that you might be pregnant based on your diet and attitude, but he wouldn't be too sure

If you did find out and told him, he would definitely be happy af and can't even wait to see his newborn child

However, if you knew but didn't tell him, he probs wouldn't pressure you by asking too much to begin with, but would after a while though

If you wanted an abortion, Cain would be devastated, but after some time talking and you still want an abortion, then he'd respect your choice (Cuz y'all are too damn young to start a family and y'all are broke af and aren't even out of school/college/uni)

Besides, you both visit 191 (Cyborg child) quite often and she sees you both as her parents anyway, so there's that

When you both do decide to keep the child, Cain would be the most attentive and overbearing partner to have ever imagined and wouldn't even let you lift up a finger

Sometimes he's even rubbing your belly and talk to the unborn baby

You're basically his queen and you're the only one who is allowed to boss him around (Except for when he's doing some test stuff, but even then, he kinda has the option to say 'no')

SCP 076-2 (Abel)

Unlike Cain, Abel do be thicc in the head

Like, he's so dense that he wouldn't know what to do when you're pregnant

Not to say that's he's extremely stupid because he's not

It's just that he doesn't know much about pregnancy

So you and some others would have to tell him about you being pregnant

And maybe even Cain (If he's not trying to kill Cain ofc)

He would be shocked and happy when you have announced your pregnancy

And I guess Abel would just be the definition of overbearing

Because he would be extremely protective about you, hostile around others unless it's your doctor visiting you, and wouldn't let you move an inch away from him without him being there

He's such an overprotective tsundere

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

Alright, so we can all agree that 999 is a sugar daddy

Cus he like really sugary things and he's now officially a dad to an unborn baby

So yeah, 999 is a sugar daddy

He probably doesn't know much about being pregnant, but he's quite attentive and sweet

Not overly overbearing, more so worried

Definitely, the type of dad to rub your belly and sing

Would definitely ask for some parenting books and advice so he'll be an amazing dad

And definitely not the type to raise his voice at the slightest when his kids are out

If you were craving savoury foods, he would run to the researchers and ask for some

Heck, he'd even try and eat some with you

If you were craving sweeter foods or a combination of both, he'd give you some of his and he'd still eat them with you

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

682 is a little bit like Abel when it comes to you announcing your pregnancy

Like he barely knows much about being pregnant and what to do

He'd most likely notice a slight change in your scent when you're only a few weeks in but wouldn't really question it much

682 would be so confused about you being pregnant

Like how?

I'd say he seemed somewhat emotionless, to begin with, but then slowly enjoys the idea of fathering your child

But he wouldn't admit it of course

But if you wanted an abortion during the start, he'd be completely cool with it though

682 would be clueless on what to do with your cravings and mood swings, but he's good at warding off unwanted visitors and being overly protective

You'd probably have to hold him back from attacking the doctors when they're checking up on you though

He'd definitely let you pet him more often as he nuzzles against your belly (*Ahem* You sure you're pregnant and not just f- nvm)

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

The only reason why 035 would be slightly sus of you being pregnant would be because of your change in behaviour

Body language and personality can't lie, especially you since he knows you too well (And you suck at lying anyways)

He's also good at manipulating others and has amazing acting skills, so he'd know all about body language

If you didn't know, then 035 wouldn't ask since he's not entirely sure, unless you act more like being a pregnant woman then he would probably drop some hints like 049 and would likely ask you to take a test

I'd assume he would ask his good old friend, 094, to check your pregnancy before requesting for the Foundation doctors

Only because he trusts the bird doctor with necrophilia to examine you first

035 would be a little more protective than usual but he wouldn't be extremely overbearing since he allows you the option to express your emotions and desires

Like the others, he would rub your belly and talk to the unborn child

And he would tell it stories from his days and how he had met you

SCP 105 (Iris)

I imagine her as just like every other person but with a little bit more understanding bout having kids

She would often at times read pregnancy books and blogs, so no worries on her end

When you told her that you were pregnant she was filled with joy with a dash of anxiety

I feel like Iris would be similar to Cain since she gives of the protective older sister vibes

So she most likely would do everything for you and you don't even get a say in it

And since she also a female, she'd follow you into the toilets too, like an extremely overprotective Doberman

Definitely would massage you and read/sing to your swollen stomach (Again, are you sure you're pregnant?)

Iris would also take loads of random photos of you during your pregnancy and would plan to show those pictures to your future child

Would definitely spoil you rotten to the core

SCP 106 (Old Man)

This old man really do be an old man

Like, he's that type of grandad who would give his kids family advice (but he was a virgin til he met you)

Except that he never had an actual child, but he does have some understanding when it comes to children (Cuz he's a perv)

He probably doesn't really know what to do to help you when you're pregnant

But he could use his pocket dimension, so that's a plus

I'd assume that he would try his absolute best and reads some pregnancy guides

If you had cravings, he would steal some food for you

He would probably run away if you were having mood swings and would actually ask some researchers for help

This is a surprise but they found it quite entertaining anyways

106 would be protective but not as much as Abel or 682 since he knows that you have boundaries and he doesn't want his head chopped off

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

This SCP right here is pretty dense when it comes to pregnancy

If you needed something, he would literally break out of his containment just to get it for you

Which is a shocker when it happened the first few times

He was shocked yet happy and cried when you announced your pregnancy

096 would literally be jumping up and down a lot and everyone else thought he was high

He wouldn't really know what he could do to help so he'll just sit there

Probably needs some Jesus cuz you were about to murder him and nobody has ever seen 096 so scared before

The researchers and medics would have to help poor 096 from getting killed by you and would direct him into the right path to fatherhood

It's even worse if you end up having a daughter because she'll probably inherit your wrath

Would be protective

I'd assume he's like an obedient large dog of some sort

Like if you told him to stop he would, even if he's mid-way killing someone

Dr Jack bright

Jack may seem hella goofy and dense, but he's actually a really intelligent and serious guy who cares about everyone around him

And he's rather observant too, so you can't exactly fool him by saying you're not pregnant (Even though you aren't cuz you're having a food baby)

He would notice the symptoms and all and would most likely know what to do with kids

Bright lives up to his name when it comes to you because you make his heart flutter and he'd do anything to keep you happy and safe

Even more so now that you're pregnant with his child

He would be protective since he's aware of each of the SCPs and he knows that he's needed in many of the facilities so he'd travel a lot

Whenever you cant follow him, he would make sure to assign someone who he can trust to help and protect you (yes, sometimes you have a Clef looking out for you, but he's chill and he has a kid so he would more often than not, give you some life advice)

Jack already decided that Clef would be the godfather of both your child and they can definitely play with 166 when they're a little older

Definitely gives you the best medic to help treat your pregnancy and would spoil you a lot

Dr Simon Glass

Although he doesn't directly work with the medics, he is well aware of you being pregnant

He would drop hints if you didn't know already and would even nurture you a little more than usual

Qween of the mother hens is Simon's middle name and would read some pregnancy books in his free time

Would 100% care for you and would lookout for signs of discomfort

Don't even hide your pain away from him because he'd definitely know and wouldn't be impressed that you're hiding it

Glass is a psychologist after all and knows about boundaries, so although he's protective, he would let you have some space if you need

One time you almost tore off his head because he was being slightly too overbearing and you just wanted some peace and quiet

Glass would definitely check up on you in between sessions and you would bring some food to eat with him

Would massage you even though you didn't ask for it and would even praise you for being this far into the pregnancy

Sometimes, he'd ask a couple of his friends to look after you, like Kondraki and Light

He'd avoid Bright and Clef unless necessary

There are times when you have some SCPs visiting you, like Cain, Iris, 999 and 131

Has decided that Diogenes would be the godmother/father of your child

Dr Alto Clef

Clef would act stupid and wouldn't say a thing if he notices you being pregnant

Unless it's been a few months then he would get slightly worried and be more straightforward

If you did announce your pregnancy, he'd be hella happy and would surprise 166 that she's going to have a younger sibling

166 is rather happy which is good since she gets along with you anyways

Although he's a good liar, you're the only other person, besides 166, he's completely honest with

Clef would be quite supportive of you and would even scare off anyone who comes a little too close to you

If he has to leave your side then he would let Bright lookout for you since he's a goofy mess anyways

Or it'll be Kondraki, Glass or Light

Sometimes 166 would be over to talk to the unborn baby and help decorate the baby room

Would request taking him off missions or at least reduce it to fewer ones

Only because he wants to be by your side at all times

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Kondraki would be one of the best dads

And more normal dads besides Glass

Would definitely tell you all the dad jokes and never runs out

He'd be taken aback when you told him you were pregnant

Definitely has prepared himself with a ton of baby books and how to parent guides

Would even ask his friends and colleagues about pregnancy and newborns

Like he can handle SCPs but not children

Most of the time he would just go to Glass for help and sometimes he'd be yeeted to Clef

Kondraki would reluctantly go to Clef, and yes, he does tease Kondraki but would give him some advice anyways since he already has a kid

Probably would make Glass the godfather and/or Light as the godmother

He would be protective like any others

Benjamin is the definition of overbearing, but that's fine because he'll back down whenever you point it out or try to chew off his brains for being so dense at times

[aminiatureworld]

Needled Words

Characters: Childe, fm!reader

Word Count: 1,691

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: When does a joke go too far, when is a jab more than just friendly? Where does the line blur and where does it stop?

In which Childe’s teasing becomes too much for the reader

Author’s Note: For some reason this prompt made me think of Nancy Mitford, mostly because she was known also for being a slightly mean-spirited teaser. Ah Childe, my beloved. Communication in a relationship is key y’all.

Childe

You knew that Childe was only joking. After all, didn’t he read his letters to you? Brimming with little asides and jokes.

“Dear Tonia, I would say I was happy to get your letter, if only it was sopping wet. Did you leave it out in the snow again? I swear, if you were in the illustrious Tsaritsa’s army, you’d probably end up attacking your own regiment, and then I’d be forced to execute you for treason!” No one could mistake such an opening for anything except a slightly barbed bit of teasing.

Nor were the younger one’s exempt. Teucer’s antics had resulted in quite a bit of teasing. “Teucer, I think the Mr. Cyclopses have better survival instincts” and “I didn’t take you for someone who spent other people’s money!” This latter statement was made after Teucer spied the hand-crafted, very expensive, fireworks that were sold in Liyue. Of course, Childe had bought him the fireworks, and of course he never begrudged doing things for you when he teased you either. Still, you somehow felt as if things were different when directed at you.

Not that they really were. It wasn’t so much that you were picking up a different tone, it was more that, unlike Childe’s siblings and other friends, such as Zhongli, who was subjected to endless old man jokes, you couldn’t seem to take them well. When he joked about how many times you ran into the countertop you began to wonder if you truly had something wrong with your hand-eye coordination; when he said you were the laziest person, he’d ever met you wondered if you weren’t sleeping in too late; when he teased that he had to be your personal babysitter you wondered if you were truly good enough to be an adventurer. It wasn’t Childe’s fault, it really wasn’t, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

Of course, you could tell him, could finally let it all out and stop pretending that it wasn’t painful to try and keep all your emotion sunder wraps. But you couldn’t help but feel as if that would in some ways disappoint him. He was a Harbinger, tough, aloof. No words could ever hurt Childe, of that, you were sure. So how would he take it, the knowledge that his part was all too liable to shatter at every poke and prod? You couldn’t blame him if he turned out to be ashamed.

So, you kept it to yourself, smiled through all the jabs and teases. It didn’t matter, it really didn’t. You were fine! Or if you, weren’t it wasn’t worth it trying to change anything. You didn’t want to lose Childe, didn’t want to see the change when he went to say something before stopping, looking at you’re with barely concealed disappointment. Childe lived with his emotions to the forefront after all. And you wouldn’t ask him to change something you ultimately loved about him.

Thus, the days continued on, as did the teasing and the feigned smiles. Some days it was worth it, some days you were left with nothing but happiness bubbling up inside, the love that humans reserved for a very few number of friends and lovers. Yet those days were often days with minimal teasing, and you couldn’t help but notice the layer of anxiety that pressed on your love the days that were filled with Childe’s jabs. Lying in bed, limbs tangled with his, you stared up at the ceiling, wondering what you should do. You felt trapped, by your emotions, by your pride, by Childe’s words. They were all encircling you, and you could do nothing to defend yourself. You tried to keep the tears to a minimum; after all your partner slept so little already.

You didn’t know when the subtle shift happened, when it all became too much to handle. Maybe it was after Childe’s recent trip to Snezhnaya, where, surrounded by Harbingers who saw their coworkers as enemies rather than allies, he had sharpened his wit even more so than before. If his earlier teasing was unfocused, general quips, then his current ones struck quite closer to home.

“Wow my dear I didn’t peg you for a Treasure Hoarder, I don’t think that arrow could hit anyone if it tried!”

“I think you truly have the makings of someone who gets scammed by a Mondstadtian duke, or perhaps a Fontaine prince who has lost all his mora in a flood. Remind me to never go shopping with you.”

“Honestly, I think if you ran into the Electro Archon, she’d think your vision was fake. It’d be an easy way out.”

The whiplash of Childe’s proclamations of “princess” mingled with sentences that, had they been geared at anyone else, would surely be insults was shocking, and you found yourself less and less able to keep these two aspects of your partner compatible in your mind. Even less did you find the ability to simply brush it off.

You didn’t know why it was a comment about your socks that finally caused you to break. Really, it was too juvenile.

Laundry in your shared apartment was often seen as a punishment, the chore that each of you pushed onto the other. As such there was often a pile of laundry in the laundry basket, and incredibly slim pickings in your drawers. That being the case you often found yourself wearing mismatched socks. Perhaps it was a little odd, or a little childish, but it was certainly preferrable to spending all day at the river scrubbing your hands red. Who cared anyways? No one would notice such a small thing, especially once you had put your boots on.

However, nothing could get past Childe’s wicked sense of humor, and apparently your clothing choices were prime fodder for him.

“Nice socks.”

“Oh, thanks,” you replied, already having a sense of where it was going. The smirk that played across your partner’s face was full of mischief, and usually that only led to one place.

“I think that you’ll be quite the icon among toddlers all throughout Liyue. People will be asking you if you’re lost all day, or maybe they’ll ask you how it feels like to be nine.”

It was really a silly comment to get so upset over, such a small, insignificant thing to cry over. Yet there you were, standing in the kitchen, frozen in horror as your vision became fuzzy with tears. Unsure about any other course of action you buried your face in your hands and prayed Childe wouldn’t think about what you were doing.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

You could hear the panic and concern mingling in Childe’s voice. Almost immediately a warm hand was on your shoulder, and you were suddenly flooded with the presence of the person you loved so much, the person you were now crying about. You could tell Childe was saying something, was whispering soft words of comfort, but in the moment your thoughts felt all too loud. Overwhelmed by the situation you turned into your partner’s shoulder and let yourself cry.

Eventually sensing you had lost all your tears Childe drew back slightly.

“Would you like a glass of water?”

“Yes please,” you replied, voice still small. Nodding Childe moved towards the kitchen. Within a few moments he was back, glass in hand.

“Was it the teasing?” He asked as you drank. Whatever you had to say about your partner, he certainly wasn’t stupid.

“Yes,” you mumbled, nodding for affect.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I had gone too far. I promise I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“But Childe, it, it’s not just this time.”

“What do you mean?” Childe asked, voice flooding through with concern once more.

“It’s, I’m sorry, it’s just that, it’s all the time. Not all the time, every time you tease me. It’s not your fault! Of course, it’s not, it’s my fault. I don’t know, I just, it really hurts sometimes, all the time? I don’t know. I just, I’m sorry.”

Childe’s expression was one of abject horror. Taking your hand, he rubbed small circles on the top with his thumb. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how much it was affecting you. I should have been more careful.”

“But I don’t want you to feel like you have to, I don’t know, I know you tease everyone, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You aren’t making me uncomfortable.” Childe’s voice seemed just as hurried as yours. “It makes me more uncomfortable to think that you’ve been burying this the whole time. You’re damn good at hiding things you know. But this isn’t a war or something, you don’t have to hide what you’re feeling, for whatever reason. Better if you tell me, y’know?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Doesn’t look good on you, or sound good. I’d rather hear you happy.” Childe leaned in to press a soft kiss against your forehead. “I love you, okay? You mean more to me than a little bit of teasing.”

“You don’t think I’m being weak?” You managed to make out as your anxiety lessened its grip on you.

“Weak? Girlie you’re one of the strongest people I know! Weak my ass. If you wanted to rule the world you could give me a run for my money. Of course, I’d win though. I mean, I would be there right with you.”

“I know you would,” you smiled, despite yourself.

You knew that Childe probably would still retain the odd sense of humor and levity he already had. Old habits die hard and all that. Still, you had managed to say what had been haunting you all this time and, more than that, you had been assured that you were good enough, strong enough. Those few words, no matter how short, meant the world to you.

[freshstartfromscratch]

WAIT I JUST TRANSLATED THE ITALIAN SCHOOL CIRRICULUM THING AND LATIM IS A LANGUAGE THINGY??????? I THOUGHT THAT IT WASN'T A FULL ON CLASS?? DOES ANYONE STILL SPEAK LATIN??? WTF????? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??? MY LIFE IS A LIE???

So Latin at school. Yay.

Basically you're not learning it in the same way you'd any modern language. It's a language that was in use for thousands of years so of course it changed a lot during this time span. That's why it's separated in at least three categories - classical Latin (used in late Roman Republic and early Roman Empire), ecclesiastical Latin (used by medieval Church) and Vulgar Latin (unofficial Latin used from the Late Roman Republic onward) this one is the origins story of all Romance languages.

Yep. All those fancy, sexy languages that people find hot like Italian or French are based on what I can only explain as Latin Cockney:

Just imagine Dave is Latin language and Daveo is Italian/French/Spanish/Portuguese/Romanian language.

It kind of looks like a medieval language class tbh. You don't learn how to introduce yourself or how to describe your family tree, because:

1. It's a dead language so it doesn't serve the purpose of communication anymore like foreign language does.

2. Latin is still used in science and it's a language which influenced Western identity the most. In order to truly understand the Western culture you need Latin (and ancient Greek but Latin is a bare minimum.)

You learn words and their conjugations (because in Latin unlike in English each person has it's own verb variant) and translate old texts. Conjugation may be affected by person, number, gender, tense, mood, aspect, voice, or other language-specific factors.

The purpose of having Latin is to better understand how modern European languages function. It's a blueprint for Romance languages like: Italian, French, Spanish, Portugese and Romanian (those are the big ones but not the only existing Romance languages.) Latin had an influence on the other language families too, and you'll have hard time finding European languages that don't have any Latin influence ( I'm looking at you the Finno-Ugric gang - Finnish, Estonian and Hungarian.) English was influenced by Latin too, that's why for example when you see this majestic beast:

You'd call it a Germanic word "a cow" but when it's turned into this:

It's called beef, from Old French boef (modern French bœuf) -> Latin bōs.

The poorer Germanic language people were keeping cows but the rich French Norman (Latin based language) speakers ate them.

Knowing Latin, even basic knowledge, is very helpful if you want to learn an European language. The logic behind the language (like existence of plural forms, significant portion of the vocabulary ect) is more often than not Latin based.

For many countries (in Europe but not only) Latin is also the language of religion. Yes, Catholic church still uses Latin from time to time, and to pass religion class in grade 8 (I think) I had to memorize Lord's Prayer aka Pater Noster (it's the Catholic beliefs in a nutshell and how Jesus taught the prayer should look like) in Latin. Latin is also an official language of the Vatican City, and was in fact one of the reasons why reformation happened, but I'm getting off track.

Latin is also useful in philosophy. Though many of the ancient European philosophers were Greek, there were a few Romans too. As you might noticed, in translation parts of text loose their meaning, and the words don't have an impact of the original version. Same thing with philosophy. To fully understand and embrace the meaning you need to know the original language aka Latin.

To summ it up! Latin is still sometimes taught in schools because:

1. it's a blueprint for the majority of modern European languages (and in the EU you should speak at least two) so if you know basic Latin it's easier to learn other languages.

2. It's the language of science and ancient philosophy. To truly understand what thought process created the West you need to know how Latin functioned and what texts written in it actually mean.

3. It's a language of the Catholic Church - the largest nomination in the Christian religion. Approximately 1.3 billion people in the world are Catholics - that's 17.7% of the world's population.

4. It's the common heritage of the Western world locked in the language form. People learn it to learn about their heritage and culture. What influenced people through thousands of years to form the Western cultures and history? Why certain thoughts and ideas (like for example individualism instead of collectivism, démocraties instead of authoritarianism) were embraced in the West? Language affects the way people think, so how Latin influenced Western values?

I hope I explained it at least a little bit 😅. I'm sorry if it all sounds more confusing now.

[irrelevantwriter]

No Questions, No Lies

Pairing: Rio (Good Girls) x Female Reader/You

Rating: Explicit, NSFW

Warnings: Language, oral sex (male receiving), unprotected vaginal sex, mention of bodily fluids, angst, characters who refuse to say how they feel, asshole Rio (low key loves it)

Word Count: 4.7K

Summary: Part 4. Riding a high, you decide to invite Rio over. But things don’t go as planned.

A/N: Once again, I am here, standing in front of you lovely people and saying thank you for all the love and support this series has gotten. It means the world. And then some. Onto the good shit...this part has lots of feelings, not all of them good. Angst is heavy towards the end, but first...smut. We love some toxic ass yearning, don't we? Also, we get some Rio POV in the first half. I’ve got two more parts planned so as always, stay tuned. I hope you guys like it. Feedback is that good shit. 💗

*Read Part 1 here

*Read Part 2 here

*Read Part 3 here

*Read Part 5 here

*Give and Take series masterlist

*Masterlist in bio.

*********************

He shifted in his seat, eyes glancing in the rearview mirror. He caught a glimpse of you as you handed off the bag of cash to Mick. Your gaze tried to find his through the blackened windows, searching for his presence in the front seat of the Mercedes SUV. It was no use. The tint was as dark as he could get it without drawing attention. Not that it mattered. The cops were always sniffing around...waiting for him to slip up. They were going to be waiting a long time.

He rubbed his chin as you rounded the vehicle and opened the passenger door. A cool breeze carrying the scent of your perfume swept in as you settled into the seat. He took you in slowly, gaze sweeping over your body as it often did when in your company. The sweater and jeans you wore were nondescript enough, but the hint of cleavage was obvious. And because you wanted to draw his attention, he gave you what you wanted and admired the area he’d been up close with only weeks before.

“Hi.” You greeted somewhat shyly, the gesture making him smirk. Even after the sex, you still got nervous around him. It had lessened tremendously since he’d first fucked you on your kitchen counter, but it wasn’t gone completely. And he had to admit that he liked that. Liked that he had such an effect on you.

“Sup, mama…” He replied, licking his lips as you averted your eyes from his.

It’d been three weeks since he’d shown up at your house in the early morning hours, announcing his return. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t miss being inside you. Now that he’d gotten a taste, it was difficult to manage without it. But you both had tedious schedules. He had several businesses. You had your kids. It didn’t always line up. And for three weeks it hadn’t. But seeing you now...he’d happily fuck you into the expensive leather of his seats if you’d let him.

“Everything good?” He prompted, noticing that you were fidgeting with your hands. You seemed worried, like something was weighing heavy on your mind. That wasn’t good.

“Yeah, yeah...of course.” You replied unconvincingly.

Rio leaned forward across the seat and placed a hand over both of yours, stilling the anxious movement of your fingers. Your eyes finally met his, a smile gracing your lips.

“What’s wrong?” He gruffly demanded, more out of concern for his operation than your personal feelings.

Your response surprised him.

“I need you to come over tonight.”

He took a long moment to silently take you and your words in. There was a softness in your features. It was unlike the expression of stress he’d seen you wear before. This wasn’t about business. This was personal.

“For what?” He asked, releasing your hand and sitting back to face you.

You bit your bottom lip and he watched as the appendage came away glossy and begging to be touched. His hand itched to reach out, but he stopped himself. Eager to see where you were taking this. Because he already had an idea.

“I...I need you.” You whispered, your gaze sliding to the deserted streets just beyond the windshield. You were hesitant. And that wasn’t going to work. He was going to have to teach you to take. In this world, there was no room for hesitation. You had to have the confidence to demand. If you didn’t, the weight of those around you who did would crush you.

Despite your timidness, his body hummed at your breathy confession. His blood pumped wildly in his veins while deep male satisfaction filled his chest. Inwardly, he was gloating. Outwardly, he was calm and nonchalant.

He shook his head and angled his ear towards you, as if signaling he couldn’t hear. “You gotta speak up.”

There was no humor in his tone. He wasn’t trying to tease you. He was acting as your instructor. Forcing you to be real about what you wanted.

He heard you scoff and as he turned to face you once again, he could see your hand reach out for the door handle. He stopped you with an outstretched arm, making sure to brush against your chest as he did.

“Just tell me what you want, darling.” He rasped, coercing your eyes to meet his.

You sighed, seemingly frustrated with yourself. He lifted his arm from across your body and instead let his fingertips trail down the side of your face. He watched from his peripheral as your chest expanded with a heavy breath, your breasts straining against the fabric of your sweater.

“You. I need you.” You repeated, the conviction clear in your voice this time.

He nodded, his thumb tracing the pout of your bottom lip. “That’s what I thought you said.”

Rio leaned in close, his mouth hovering dangerously over yours. You licked your lips in preparation for the action, the motion momentarily hypnotizing him. His eyes swept over your face, taking in every detail. His intense study made you shift in your seat. Maybe it was unease. He hoped it was arousal.

“I’ll be there.” He replied, pulling away and settling back into his own seat.

You blinked and nodded, still seemingly dazed by his proximity.

He hadn’t kissed you. And it was intentional. The constant push and pull of your relationship was maddening on most days. There was always an aspect of it that needed attention. Whether it was business or personal. It was always work. But times like these were what made it worth it. The teasing. The buildup. The attraction. It was so palpable he could practically taste it against his tongue. You were as frustrating as you were alluring and he was going to indulge in that combination until there was nothing left.

He wanted it all.

************

You smoothed out the fabric of your dress for the umpteenth time as you scrutinized your reflection. Nerves knotted in your stomach as you struggled to maintain some form of composure. Rio had texted you ten minutes before to say he was on his way. You didn’t know how much time that gave you, but it didn’t matter. It wouldn’t be enough.

You’d regretted your desperate demand of him the instant you’d left his car earlier that day. The cool air had pulled you from the fog of your lust and threw you back into reality. And it wasn’t good. You’d made a fool of yourself. You were better than that. You could form full sentences and express thoughts. You were confident and fully capable of telling a man to come over so that you could sleep with him. Especially one you’d already slept with.

You tried to find the courage that had consumed you the last time you’d slept with him. You’d taken without asking and he’d happily reciprocated. It was the very definition of raw desire and you had every intention of recreating it tonight.

Which is why you were taking extra care to make sure your dress was perfect, along with your hair and makeup. Not that it truly mattered. He’d already seen you practically fresh out of bed in cotton panties.

A knock at the front door made you jump in surprise, the knots in your stomach now turning to butterflies. You took one last look at yourself before you made your way towards the entryway, your bare feet soundless along the cool hardwood floors.

You opened the door, seeing Rio on the other side. He looked good. He always looked good. Dark shirt, dark jeans. And that unwavering look of smugness he so often wore. He was expressive without having to do or say much. He was self-assured. Arrogant even. The calm intensity he possessed was almost a magical power, holding you captive. It had a dual effect on your body. You were afraid. But it paled in comparison to your insistent arousal.

“Hi,” You greeted, gesturing for him to come in.

He did so wordlessly, eyes taking in your form as he moved. He let you lead him through the house and towards the kitchen and you swore you could feel his gaze blazing across your back, leaving a mark. He was good at that. He was good at making you feel seen. The rush of having someone pay attention to you in the way that Rio did was utterly seductive. It was addictive. And you wanted it for as long as he was willing to give it to you.

“You want something to drink?” You asked over your shoulder, heading towards the cabinet that housed the whiskey.

Rio’s voice stopped you.

“Nah, I’m good.”

You faltered and turned to see him leaning against the wall, watching you with an amused expression. Your insides heated with every silent second that passed between you. Looking at him made you remember why you’d asked him over. It wasn’t for a drink and it definitely wasn’t for small talk. Primal need began to swell within you as you stepped towards him. He was going to make you see your desperation through.

He straightened as you approached and invaded his space. You reached a hand out to trace the buttons of his shirt, gently tugging at the end of the fabric as you did.

“Come on,” You whispered, nodding your head in the direction of your bedroom. Any form of pretense was gone. You both knew why he was there...why he’d actually shown up.

You prayed he followed as you walked down the hall and into a space he had yet to be invited into. Until now. His footsteps echoed behind you, entering the bedroom and taking in his surroundings. You swallowed and turned to face him, pure want reflecting in his eyes. It urged you forward.

“Sit on the bed.” You commanded, voice surprisingly steady.

The corner of Rio’s lips edged upwards, but he did as you said. It appeared as if he was humoring you, expecting that you’d back out and end the night before it even began. But you were far past that. He’d made it clear, without words, that he wasn’t going to make this easy for you. He was going to make you work for everything. Whether that be his money or his affection. So you’d do it. You’d put in the work. And he’d reward you.

You reached for the zipper on the back of your dress, but it was too high. You stepped between his legs and faced away from him, motioning to the metal teeth that held the garment together.

“You mind?” You asked, waiting in anticipation. It was only a second later when you felt the brush of his finger against your back as he lowered the zipper. He made sure to drag his skin across yours, slowly and feather-light. It was almost non-existent, yet it pulled a shiver from you anyway.

You caught the loosened fabric before it fell, holding it to your chest. You turned and met his hooded gaze, noting the way his jaw was clenched. You let the dress fall to the floor, revealing the black lace you wore underneath. His eyes scanned your body like a predator stalking its prey, your nipples hardening in response. The sheer material of the bra barely concealed your body’s reaction. He took notice.

“That new?” He asked, chin jutting out and gesturing to the lace that adorned your body.

You stepped out of the dress and back between the space of his thighs, forcing him to look up at you. That familiar spicy scent filled your nostrils. It was his scent. And it lured you in further to his body’s warmth.

“If you want to think that highly of yourself.” You quipped with a coquettish smile, hands resting on his shoulders. His own hands remained on his thighs; not showing any indication that he was going to reach out and touch you.

His question had been spot on though. You had in fact went out and bought new lingerie. Several things in fact. And you might’ve bought them in black. A color that reminded you of only one person.

Rio chuckled lowly at your answer, licking his lips as you eased your breasts near his face. “You can’t let me have an inch, can you?” He challenged, an eyebrow raised in question as he looked up at you.

“If I give you an inch, you’ll take a mile.” You retorted, hands skimming along the back of his scalp. His fingers twitched against your legs at the motion, so you made sure to do it again.

Again he laughed. Humorless and patronizing.

“I can’t take what’s already mine.”

He said the words with so much confidence that you had to pause. You stilled your hands and for once stared right back into the depthless pools of his eyes. You predictably got lost in them, as you so often did with anything involving the man. His declarations of ownership should’ve scared you. They should’ve made you turn and run away. Instead, you went headlong into the storm.

“Pretty confident in yourself.” You replied, lowering yourself to your knees. He let his thighs fall open to make room for you, his expression showing just how pleased he was with your change in position.

“I’m not the one on my knees.” He threw back, hand finally reaching out to caress your cheek. His thumb swiped at your lips as his eyes zeroed in on them, no doubt picturing them wrapped around him.

“Touché.” You teased, kissing his thumb as it slid across your mouth.

You ran your hands up his thighs and towards his belt buckle. He let you, posture relaxing as he allowed you to do as you pleased. You shifted his pants and underwear out of the way as you pulled him free, your mouth already salivating at the sight. He was hardening with every second, veins and ridges calling to your womb like an old friend. You could feel him watching you as you leaned forward and placed a soft lick to the head of his cock. He tasted salty, but clean, and you wanted more.

You suckled at the tip of him while your hand worked the saliva around his length. He was long and pulsing with yearning in your palm. You let your mouth water around him, the sound of skin sliding against slickened skin now filling the room. The sound aided you in your efforts. You opened your throat to take him in, swallowing and savoring the low groan he expelled. It was music to your ears.

You listened to his reactions, catching every twitch of his cock along your tongue. You mercilessly teased him as you licked long strips along his flesh before you suctioned your cheeks and tightened around him. Your hands worked in tandem. Stroking what you couldn’t fit in your mouth while traveling down to caress his sac. He grunted and jerked with the action, causing him to slip further down your throat. Tears filled your eyes, but you kept going.

Moisture touched your tongue and you knew he was close. You chanced a glance up and was rewarded with a blissed out Rio. His head was angled back, his adam’s apple bobbing deliciously behind inked flesh as his hand made it to the back of your head. He didn’t push, but he didn’t have to. You happily gagged on his cock.

“That’s enough.” He commanded, voice low and tinged with barely contained control. He pushed your hands off of him and angled your chin up to him, his mouth descending on yours without a second thought.

You let him taste himself. Tongues intertwined in a show of eroticism that mimicked what your bodies longed to do. You steadied yourself on your knees as you grabbed at his shirt while his hands cradled your face. You wanted him to touch you...to explore your body in every way possible. It felt like your entire being was on fire and only he could soothe the ache. You needed him...badly.

“Touch me...please.” You pleaded once you’d broken apart.

He began to unbutton his shirt, discarding the piece of clothing easily as you waited. “Stand up.”

You did as he said, standing on shaky legs between his own. He reached out and smoothed his palms over your thighs and around to your ass, grasping the flesh and kneading. Your eyes closed in blessed relief, a moan just on the tip of your tongue. You jerked in his arms when you felt the wet heat of his mouth against your stomach, his lips trailing kisses along the flesh. Your hands held his head steady as he gave you what you craved. His fingers slid under the band of your panties, shifting the material up and down on your hips.

Impatience drove you to reach around and unclasp your bra, baring your breasts to his hungry kisses. He didn’t miss a beat. He mouthed at the underside of your breasts while his hands cupped them, massaging the sensitive mounds with skillful touches. Your panties felt too restrictive and uncomfortable. Wetness pooled in them as Rio’s touch urged more from you.

“The bed.” You gasped, feeling him pinch a nipple. The sensation made you shudder.

His presence disappeared from your body as he stood, pushing his jeans and underwear down. They fell to the floor as he stepped out of them, his shoes already off. You took him in for the first time. Took in the scarred flesh and lines of ink that ran along sinewy muscles. He was lean, but beautifully toned. All male.

You followed his lead and pushed the last scrap of clothing you wore down. The material fell easily to your feet and you kicked them away. You reveled in the way he looked at you. Untamed and feral. Like you were sin incarnate. It made your pussy clench in urgency.

Your palms glided up his firm chest as you reached forward to kiss him. He reciprocated, insistent hands guiding you to the bed. You let yourself fall to the mattress, his body following yours. Your mouths didn’t separate. You both savored the moment of finally being bare and pressed so closely to one another. You relished the flavors that sat on your tongues as you kissed, barely able to take in a breath. Hands roamed without barriers as he wedged himself between your thighs. You accommodated him, pushing your hips up to entice him inside you. A finger found its way there instead, dragging along your walls and collecting the moisture that had settled within.

“You ready?” He whispered into your ear, his finger now strumming at your swollen clit.

You nodded and moaned, hoping that was answer enough. Your back arched into his chest when he pressed the head of his cock at your entrance, lathering himself in you. Your nails dug into his back, your legs tightening around him. He showered you with tender kisses along your neck as his hips rutted against yours, not yet slipping into the place you both desperately needed him to be.  

“Look at me.”

You obeyed, locking gazes with him as he hovered over you. The moment lasted only a second before he was pushing forward. He was fully sheathed and throbbing within you as you clung to him, mouth open but no sound coming out. His face was buried into your neck as you both became reacquainted with the other. You felt deliciously full. Overwhelmingly so as his cock nudged the natural barrier within you. He was as far as he could go, and yet you wanted him closer.

“Move.” You said with a whimper, shifting your hips so that his cock dragged along your velvet walls.

Rio obliged, a prisoner to the cyclone of sensations that had swept you both up. He set a steady pace, his strokes deep and thorough. You cried out when he thrust so hard that you edged up the bed, the headboard rattling against the wall. Beams of light glowed behind your eyelids as he hit every spot as if he was made to. You clung to the silver chain that hung from his neck as he grunted in your ear, each pass of him stealing your breath.

“This what you wanted? Hmm?” He punctuated his question with a bruising drive of his hips forward, making your toes curl.

“Fuck, yes…” You moaned, disoriented by it all. The feel of him atop you. The rhythm of his hot breaths against your neck. The growls that rumbled from his throat. The sting of being stretched as he fucked you. It was enough to have you succumbing to your climax before you were even ready.

You slipped a hand between your bodies and rubbed at your clit, increasing the intensity of your impending release. You locked your legs around his waist and scratched at the sheets as ecstasy washed over you. Your pussy contracted with earth-shattering tremors as you flooded Rio’s cock with your spendings. A litany of moans and gasps accompanied your free fall into space. The man above you stilled as you rode out the waves of orgasm and clenched around him in almost painful spasms. And then, your entire body went limp.

The headboard resumed its melody against the wall as Rio chased his own end. He maneuvered onto his knees, his cock never leaving the confines of your body. He watched you from this new vantage point, taking in the expression of euphoria you wore. Your hands trailed up your abdomen and across your breasts, cupping them for him. His hips picked up speed, his body slapping against yours and creating an echo. You accepted it all as he finally came, filling you full with every drive of his hips. He held you firm as he emptied himself within you, ensuring not a drop was wasted. You hummed at the feel of it, warm and thick and possessing you.

His fingers loosened their hold on your thighs as he came down, the flesh already sore from his grip. He soothed the area, the motion making your eyes feel heavy with sleep instead of lust. You met his gaze and let out a breathless laugh, feeling your limbs already beginning to ache with overuse. He slowly retreated from your body and settled beside you, his back pressed against the headboard as the comforter shielded his lower half from view. You eased into a sitting position, bringing the sheet with you. The act of modesty was unnecessary, but you did so anyway.

“You good?” He asked, face turning serious.

You nodded, the mess between your legs proof of just how good you really were.

“We gotta talk.”

His words made you stiffen. The post-coitus high now tainted.

“About what?” You asked, attempting casualness as you faced him.

“You’re gonna have a new contact from now on. Someone besides me.” He explained. His tone was succinct and to the point. He wasn’t interested in making this a discussion. And that annoyed you. Because it deserved one, whether he thought so or not.

“What does that mean?”

“Means I’m moving on to something else. Something different. So now you gotta deal with someone else.”

You shook your head, desperately wishing you now had clothes on. “I don’t understand.”

“There’s nothing to understand. It’s how it has to be.” He stated cooly, features schooled into an expression of professionalism, despite his own state of undress.

“Why?” You asked, still struggling to comprehend what he meant. Because it sounded like he was pawning you off to someone else right after he’d fucked you.

“I’m flipping my game. Nothing can be permanent. You get caught if you get comfortable.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?”

“No. You don’t.” He retorted dryly. The quickness of his reply threw you, the coldness in it obvious.

“I don’t trust anyone else.” You said, standing up and wrapping yourself in the sheet. Your thoughts were running wild, the disbelief you felt clearly written all over your face.

“I trust him. He’ll handle shit.” Rio reassured you, though it didn’t translate. He sighed and stood from the bed, searching for his underwear and pants.

Anger flared inside of you as he got dressed. He was going to drop a bomb on you and then leave? The notion made blind fury replace the satiation of sex within you.

“I barely trust you.” You threw back, watching as he buttoned his shirt. He shook his head and laughed, apparently finding your statement funny. “Why are you doing this?” You asked, trying to keep the shakiness out of your voice but failing.

He moved towards you and cradled your cheek, a gesture you were starting to loathe. He didn’t have to say anything to be condescending. The intent was clear. That familiar pit formed in your stomach as he stared at you, licking his lips.

“It’s business. This isn't personal. Don’t make it that way, yeah?”

You twisted away from his touch, gritting your teeth in irritation. “So you coming over to fuck me when you want is business?” You challenged, wrapping the sheet tighter around your chest.

“I gave you a choice.” He replied, voice raising slightly. His face hardened, his eyes narrowing and spine straightening as you fought against him.

“And what choice was that? To fuck you or die?” You questioned hotly, seeing him take a step towards you.

“You don’t make the rules. This isn’t a fucking partnership, darling. You work for me. You listen to me.” He argued, matching your aggression.

An iota of fear crept up your spine, but you ignored it. You shook your head and turned to leave, but he caught you, holding your arm with a firm grip. It wasn’t painful, but it wasn’t comfortable either.

“Don’t. Do. That.” He warned, pulling you to face him once again. He was pissed. His temper barely under control as he pinned you with an icy glare.

“Fine....” You acquiesced, jerking your arm free. “Leave me in the able hands of someone else. I’ll make sure and show them the same kind of attention I showed you.” You goaded, seeing the vein in his neck pulse.

“Why do you gotta make shit difficult?” He asked, choosing to ignore your remarks. Rio didn’t wear jealousy well and it was obvious.

“You were the one that came to me, remember? You were the one that spouted that bullshit about trust.” You threw back, uncaring of the consequences.

“That's right.” He confirmed, stepping in your direction and crowding your space. You were both practically breathing the same tension-filled air. “And you went along with it. So go along with this. If not, arrangements can be made.”

You blinked, willing the man before you to disappear. You shouldn’t be surprised that things took such a left turn. They were bound to. And Rio was nothing if not an entrepreneur first. You knew that. Didn’t mean it stung any less.

“Leave.” You demanded, not meeting his gaze.

“I’ll be in touch.” He said before he was walking past you and out of the room.

The slamming of the front door echoed throughout the house when he left and you released the breath you’d been holding. Tears welled in your eyes, but you forced them back. The relationship between you and Rio was doomed from the beginning. You were both operating on borrowed time. No matter how much he acted as if he cared, he didn’t. You were a means to an end. That was blatantly apparent now. You were to fall in line and operate under his orders. That was it. But you couldn’t do that. Not when your entire life was at stake. You’d made the mistake of trusting him and he decided to throw it all away. All the progress made...for naught.

Rio would always want his money more than you. It made no difference if you finally offered yourself up on a silver platter, promising to run off with him. He’d surely laugh and pat your cheek, amused by your offer. He’d only been telling you what you wanted to hear. And wasn’t that what you wanted anyway? Wasn’t he just enough for a good time and an even better fuck?

Yeah. He was.

So then why did it hurt so goddamn much?

[dennou-translations]

Violet Evergarden: Booklet 3

Please feel free to message me about possible corrections. If you can, consider supporting the creators by purchasing the official releases. If anyone is feeling generous: Ko-fi | PayPal. ( ╹◡╹)っ’･*

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At that moment, I found myself thinking, “Aah, maybe if I disappeared, if I vanished right now, nobody would notice.”

Once I thought this, I could no longer think of anything else.

Before I realized, my hands and feet had moved. I slowly moved my whole body and left that place behind.

Nobody called for. Nobody tried to stop me.

Which was why I was now hiding. I was in a corner of a maze of roses in the royal palace of this forest kingdom.

I looked up at the sky. It was overcast. The air was a little heavy, so there was a chance of rain.

Was anyone looking for me by now? No, they might not have noticed. I could bet a hundred of Drossel’s white camellias that they hadn’t. “That wouldn’t be a bet,” someone said from within my mind.

——What will happen to me if I just stay here like this?

I tried to think calmly. Firstly, I would get hungry. My body would get bitten by insects. The sky was looking shady, so rain might come pouring down on me. I would get a fever from the cold, and then... and then... and then...

The power of my imagination was scarce, so the scenario ended there.

Stretching out my dress’s sleeves and removing my long gloves, I plucked the grass with a bare hand. Picking up some rose petals that had fallen to the ground, I threw them into the air even though they would not fly too far. I looked almost like a child trying to contain her bad mood. Most likely, if anyone saw me, they would wonder what on earth the queen of Fluegel was doing.

Why had I grown up to be like this? All I ever did was think big of small matters and be in a state of chaos. It was such a weak mindset, which people most likely wouldn’t expect to come from someone born in a family that was meant to rule a country.

“Members of the royal family are actually not supposed to expose their original selves. Under no circumstance should you forget that you must act with dignity and be a role model to your subjects.”

Even though I had already become a wife, I behaved like a little girl.

“However...”

I had experienced a romance like the ones that young girls dream with.

“...from my long time working in the court...”

I fell in love and won my beloved lord over.

“...these have been the most memorable Public Love Letters. Yes... in a good sense.”

After running and running, I was now living the aftermath of that.

My name is Charlotte Abelfreya Fluegel. Already a year had passed ever since I married off to Fluegel.

   Charlotte Abelfreya Fluegel and the Forest Kingdom

   Drossel and Fluegel – no matter what could happen to these two nations in the future, they had me as their intermediary princess. If I happened to die in this rose labyrinth without anybody ever finding me, I wanted someone to remember that.

As to why things had turned out like this, I’d have to rewind my life a little to explain. I had to mix up the cauldron of time that made the hours pass.

How far back was I supposed to go?

That beautiful golden-haired girl. My favorite. The ghostwriter who had become a mediator for my romance.

Rewinding to the times of Violet Evergarden’s Public Love Letters would be going back too far. It should be a bit later. Perhaps the appropriate would be around the time when I, who was once the third princess of Drossel – that beautiful country where white camellias bloomed in copious amounts –, went away and changed my surname. Yes, right, that was adequate enough.

Fluegel was a neighboring country of prosperous forestry. I was married to the man who had the priority rights to succeeding its throne. Letting go of everything that I had cherished until then, I married off.

I had transformed from a girl into an adult. Although my appearance hadn’t changed much, that was my status.

My husband was Damian Baldur Fluegel. He was the person who possessed the rights of succession as the next monarch at the beginning of our marriage, but a few days ago, he had inherited the throne from his father and become a king both in name and reality. In other words, I had become the queen as well.

Probably the worst queen in history. After all, I had run away.

   Let me try to trace the rewound time with exact precision.

Fluegel’s capital was a city of fresh greenery, which had a castle erected in the depths of a forest. Said royal palace couldn’t be considered sturdy or showy, but it was in perfect harmony with the nature, endowed with a calculated beauty. Unlike Drossel, a country that maintained itself through the tourism industry, Fluegel had much of its national interest shouldered by its forestry. Drossel’s national flower was the white camellia, while Fluegel’s was the red rose.

The two countries were separated by a large river, but one would be tempted to wonder how they could be so different.

Differences were by no means a bad thing. After all, Lord Damian and I had met because we had been raised in such different cultures. That was exactly why I became attracted to Lord Damian’s… albeit artless, uninhibited personality, which was so unlike that of the royals from Drossel and other nations...

Yes, “differences” were not bad. But the so-called “differences”... how should I put it? When they weren’t tolerated, instead viewed as an absence of profits and effort, they would turn into a really bad thing.

Most likely, that was what made me the way I was now.

Was this an excuse? It might be. But that was how it was. That was it.

At first, my life in Fluegel didn’t go well.

Becoming used to even small differences in habit was extremely difficult for me, which caused the chamberlain to sigh often. He was someone who deserved respect for having taken care of Lord Damian’s personal matters for quite a long time.

There was no mistaking that I was in a position higher than his, but I soon understood that he looked down on me. One could tell as much by things such as the movements of the other’s eyes and their attitude.

The chamberlain would tell me: “That is not the way we do it in Fluegel”, “This is for your protection. You will be criticized otherwise. Now, fix yourself up”, “I have said this several times, but...”

I didn’t think I was some idiot. I believed myself to be the kind of girl who could do well if I put my mind into it. But I had to admit that I was a very unstable crybaby.

The differences such as the ones that the chamberlain talked about were, for example, the order in which people were seated at meals, how to lift my dress when hopping into a carriage, and other minute details like that. If I were told such things back in Drossel, I was positive that I could internalize it in the first try. After that, I definitely wouldn’t repeat the mistake. But the moment I tried to do it in this foreign country that I wasn’t familiar with, being watched by the monitoring eyes of someone that didn’t have me in his favor, I ended up failing. It was almost as if I were inducing the failure on my own. What was this phenomenon?

The chamberlain most likely knew this as well. He knew it, and even then he would sigh and speak in a detached manner while watching me go pale. There was nothing good in it for either of us, yet we would find ourselves repeating this vicious cycle.

To be honest, we were so incapable of getting along that the desire to jump off from one of the Fluegel castle’s windows as retaliation surged from within me. However, I had no choice but to keep going. Because I was a newcomer and that person was an elder.

If I didn’t get used to this, it would be the end of me.

Right, and there was also the tea party. The flow of the Cauldron of Time had finally returned to the present.

It all had begun… from the chamberlain suggesting that if I, who had become the queen, held a tea party, I would certainly make myself known as someone who shines like the stars in the night sky. He gave a long speech about my authority as a queen being this and that. That detestable chamberlain.

I did like tea parties, but even after being in Fluegel for a year, I wasn’t able to find myself anyone that I could consider close to me, so I frankly didn’t like the idea. I hadn’t gotten myself anyone to be on friendly terms with, so rather than a display of my power, wouldn’t this be deemed as more of a public execution for me?

Ever since I had arrived here, I was in the position of a foreign princess who had a political marriage with Lord Damian, so both the royal family that I had joined and the people who took care of me were somewhat distant… To make things worse, I was the very person who had tainted the traditional event of the Public Love Letters. People were wary of me as an unprecedented princess.

I had seen that Fluegel had a liberal aspect to it and wasn’t too bound by formalities in comparison to Drossel, but when it came to the royal family, that was a different story.

Whenever I passed the corridors of the royal palace, I could hear one name being whispered. Everyone would have faint smiles on their faces. “Baby Princess” was what they called me.

The one who came up with it was Lord Damian’s younger sister or something. Indeed, I had childish facial features and I was the girl who had married for love, so there was no helping that I would be mocked like this.

Receiving a nickname and having it made into a title meant that it was ingrained in people. Once a knight earned himself an alias, others would expect him to have a conduct that was worthy of it. In that same manner, no matter what I, Charlotte Abelfreya Fluegel, might say… I lived in Fluegel as the princess whom everyone would giggle at.

Whenever I made a mistake, “it’s because she’s a child”. If I happened to rush towards Lord Damian, “it’s because she’s a child”. Whenever I said anything, “it’s because she’s a child”.

If there was some magic spell that could turn me into a twenty-year-old right now, I would have taken it. It’d be great if I could instantly grab ahold of my dignity in a way that nobody would complain. But that was something that people had to be awarded to through the years, along with their efforts...

I might have been the Baby Princess today as well – the day of the tea party.

The chamberlain was in awfully high spirits, which one way or another was an omen for misfortune. I was watching from my bedroom as the elderly man briskly instructed the people around him.

From the room where I stayed with Lord Damian, I could see the castle’s garden, the rose maze that started from the garden’s entrance veering to the side, and the castle town. Back when we had just married, we used to often gaze outside the window together, but now we couldn’t even talk for more than five minutes.

Ever since succeeding the throne, Lord Damian was truly busy. He would be working while I waited for him in our room; by the time that I woke up, he would be by my side without me having realized it; as I stretched the creases that formed between his eyebrows while he was dreaming, he would wake up all of a sudden and then head off to the royal office again.

I was depressed since morning, because why did I have to hold a tea party while my husband was working so indiscriminately? But, well, this was also part of my duties. It was important for me to mingle with other women from a social status similar to mine. The trust earned from them would help not just me but also Lord Damian.

Those who controlled factions also had control of politics. Yes, yes, I knew that much. I had to do this exactly because things weren’t going well. In order to level up my speech skills, I had to start from taking up a stance. As my position was becoming worse, if I could get around here well, I would increase my authority in the royal territory without having to recreate myself.

I understood the reasoning behind this. What the chamberlain said was correct. He was implicitly telling me to do right, and I was the one at fault for not managing it...

The tea party was held in the garden outside at the arranged time.

There were people that I hadn’t seen ever since my wedding ceremony, whom I greeted while turning my head around at an incredible speed. Whenever someone sprinkled the subject of political affairs here and there, I’d throw it back at them with a smile, literally tearing apart and flinging away whatever came at me on repeat. Although the scene actually looked like a peaceful conversation, under the surface, I, the queen, was being evaluated, so this was a battle.

I thought I had done a really strenuous effort up until the middle of it. Instilling the impression that “My, so maybe the Baby Princess isn’t a bad person and is surprisingly smart when she talks?” was quite a success. The signs that I could make them deem me as worthy of standing by Lord Damian’s side were becoming visible. However, the very moment that Her Highness, the King’s young her sister, appeared in the tea party, everything I had set up crumbled down at once.

She was pretty late from the scheduled time – rather, she suddenly showed up when it was already ending.

Although she was close to me in age, she had a very adult appearance and was an awfully beautiful person. Renowned as one of Fluegel’s talented women, she was also involved with the National Assembly, and told us that she had rushed over because the meeting had ended just now. I had not yet been allowed to attend the meetings even though I was the queen, so I was terribly jealous... and a little miserable.

Of course, whatever had been discussed there became the topic, which Her Highness told the women present, explaining in a simplified manner. What a wonderful person she was.

Regardless, it felt like this was going to end as Her Highness’s tea party, even though it was mine. Well, that was okay too. Rather, it might be easier if there was someone to take the initiative to talk like this. I had a bug where I couldn’t speak very well to people whom I wasn’t close to, so I decided to leave it to her.

Despite this being a tea party, I hadn’t eaten anything, so I had the feeling that I would get hungry in the evening. I wondered what we would have for dinner.

Just like that, half of my soul disappeared somewhere else, so I didn’t notice that the subject had changed from state affairs to the next successor to the throne.

“Queen, are you listening? If things continue the way they are, there will be no helping it if a concubine is appointed.”

Since I hadn’t noticed it, I couldn’t react right away, even as I took the tremendous brutality of those words to the face. This had happened just a moment ago, so I didn’t remember very well what kind of reaction I’d had. I had the feeling that I had responded with a somewhat sluggish reply such as “aah” or “eeh”... much like the way that living creatures cried for the first time upon being born.

I could immediately tell that Her Highness wasn’t satisfied with my answer.

“It is because you are so laidback like this that the King has to fight the national affairs alone. You still intend to be here as a guest, not doing what you have to do, so everyone has to hold back and nobody can speak up their opinions. Talk more. Be more useful to the country. Most important of all, it has already been a year, yet nothing has been reported to us. Are you seriously discussing the succession with the King? If this goes on, someone will suggest a concubine for him.”

With such words thrown at me in sequence, I—I had... I had a thought. That perhaps she was trying to make me lose heart. Wasn’t I being attacked right now?

I looked around. Nobody attempted to open their mouths in order to defend me. There was no one. I had no one.

All of them were waiting for my reaction.

I knew this situation. I knew it very well. I wasn’t being treated as a person at the moment. My personality was being denied as well. The dignity that should be granted to the human being named Charlotte wasn’t being taken into account.

However, I didn’t break. Why?

Because I was used to being neglected.

“Yes, I am truly doing a poor job. I believe it is as you say.”

I was smiling.

“However, it has not yet been decided what will be my part of the work and what will be the King’s, as we are in the process of deciding on it as a couple.”

I was smiling mockingly.

“Now that I have talked to all of you like this, I have concluded I should propose my thoughts to the parliament slowly, little by little.”

I was... smiling.

“I was the princess of my country. But now, I am the queen of Fluegel. I did not intend to be here in the position of guest, but it is true that I was restraining myself. But is that not the same for all of you? I am aware. Everyone has been... well, surrounding me from a distance and looking after me. I was fretting, as it would have been better for you to tell me more directly if there was anything wrong... By all means, I would like to have a frank exchange of opinions with you in the future... and I hope that we can help each other... as fellow women.”

This was laughable.

Her Highness was appalled. So was everyone else. She must have spoken so conflictingly due to thinking that it was sure to make me start crying.

I wanted her to stop saying such stupid things. I was the former third princess of Drossel. Did she know what kind of country that was? It was a country where it was okay for women to become political tools. We were by no means granted the position to act freely like she did. As the shadows so-called “women”, we had no choice but earnestly do whatever we could.

I was born in a country were women were consumed and worn down. To top it off, I had been raised mostly by courtiers, away from my biological parents. I hadn’t seen my mother in forever.

Exhausted as a result of her marriage of convenience, Mother had Father build her a palace and secluded herself in it all day long every day. She did show up at the wedding ceremony, but she hadn’t even sent me a single letter after I had married off. She had probably already forgotten that she had given birth to me.

But that was the country I had been born in. I had been raised by one of this country’s strong women – a carefully selected, tough woman. This person patiently educated me, even though my aptitude wasn’t good. She explained things to me over and over again. She scolded me a lot. She taught me so that I would be able to marry anyone and live anywhere. She had also predicted that a situation like this might happen. So she told me how to act during a quarrel with other women.

That was why I smiled at times like these.

My looks weren’t bad. I was no idiot. I knew what effects I would bring about if I smiled. There was little that I could do, but I was going to be the one firing the best shot here.

I was a crybaby. I was a weakling. I was lonely.

However, I had been taught well. No matter what, I couldn’t lose in times like these. I knew that much.

I had been protected through the erasure of my personality.

   That day’s tea party was over right then, and thanks to the chamberlain saying that it would soon be time to bring it to a close, it ended well.

At a later date, my feud or whatever with Her Highness would become a rumor around the royal palace, but that was a story of the future. In any case, it was over for now. Therefore, I was extremely relieved.

The chamberlain let me return to my room unusually early and consoled me with a “you must be tired”. “You were excellent today,” he told me. Enveloping my shaky palms in his hands, which had wrinkles just like Alberta’s, he warmed them up. “No matter what happens, do not forget that you have one ally,” he said.

From that, I understood a little something. That he, indeed, worried about me in his own way. I wasn’t fond of his way of doing things, but he had struggled as much as he could in order to do something to improve my position.

He had seen what I had gone through today, so he was commending my brave fight. I had been subjected to violence today. I had been told such terrible things. Even though I—I...

I was in love with Lord Damian.

Both Drossel and Fluegel were aware of this. The citizens of both kingdoms knew it. And yet, aah, how embarrassing. But everyone knew.

I was in love with that person. I was in love.

“You have not sired a child after a year, so there might be need for a concubine. Therefore, if such a woman appears, you should accept it,” she said, despite knowing how much it would hurt me.

I was told off. I was told off by the younger sister of the object of my affections. That was what she said to me.

“Thank you, but please, let me be alone.”

I still managed to keep my smile up, but as soon as I drove the chamberlain out of the room, the tears overflowed torrentially and I couldn’t stop them.

There should be things more painful than that out there in the world. I looked like a fool for crying because of something like this. But right now, I was feeling like the most pitiful person in the world. I wanted to return to Drossel. I wanted to go home to Drossel.

No, that wasn’t it. No, that wasn’t it. No, that wasn’t it.

I wanted to go back to the person who would always allowed me to cry, no matter how much I did so. The person who would stay by my side.

“Alberta...”

I wanted to go back to Alberta.

I knew it was stupid of me. But when I thought that a day might come when Lord Damian, my husband – the object of my affections –, would take another woman aside from me, it was so painful. My chest hurt – it hurt so much that it was hard to breathe. So I couldn’t contain my cries.

I wondered what had gone wrong.

Was it because I had started clamming up, since the chamberlain would always hammer me down by saying, “That kind of unheard-of behavior is not allowed here”, so I couldn’t speak the way I wanted to? Or was it because I was late to find out that not assertively addressing the royal family was bad manners, since I was in a position where I had to wait for people to talk to me first back in Drossel?

Perhaps it was everything.

Apparently, Fluegel hadn’t taken in a princess from abroad in the last sixty years, so maybe it was already difficult for them to accept a foreign object like me in the first place. Things would probably have been different if I were a great woman – yes, a woman like Her Highness –, yet I had nothing but tears. Still, was I such a horrible person that I had to be told such things?

Aah, nothing – just nothing. Nothing was working out. It might be that nothing would go well from now on too.

This thought swiftly made its way into my heart.

All of a sudden, I was able to clearly hear the sounds around me. The noises of someone walking, the whistling of the wind outside, my own breathing. The way that the tears fell down as they dripped from my eyelashes, the way that I was suddenly looking at myself in a holistic manner.

Yes, perhaps things would never work out from now onward. If so, then...

Then, shouldn’t I run away?

Several questions – such as to where, with whom and to do what – came to me, but I ignored them. I had probably broken down at that point.

I dropped my own heart, which I had been cherishing as much as possible in order for it not to break, onto my feet. I had the feeling that I heard a clank when doing so.

——Maybe nothing would ever go well in the future.

If so, then no matter how much I exerted myself, it would be useless.

——Maybe nothing would ever go well in the future.

I had to run off to somewhere.

——Maybe nothing would ever go well in the future.

Nobody was going to protect me.

——Maybe nothing would ever go well in the future.

After all, this was a foreign country and Alberta wasn’t here. The only one who could protect me was...

——Maybe nothing would ever go well in the future.

The only one who could protect me was myself.

——Maybe nothing would ever go well in the future.

I had to run away.

——Maybe nothing would ever go well in the future.

I had to run.

——Maybe nothing would ever go well in the future.

If I stayed here like this, I... I might seriously jump off the window.

Once I thought this, I somehow felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. When I came to my senses, I had left the room.

The courtiers were busy cleaning up the tea party in the garden. The chamberlain had also gone outside in order to instruct them. If I came out of the room without making any sounds, nobody would chase after me right away. When I went into the corridor, there was a soldier, but he was only meant to see whoever entered and exited the place and wouldn’t follow me since he wasn’t my bodyguard.

If it was now, perhaps no one would notice if I disappeared – if I happened to vanish. Once I thought this, I could no longer think of anything else.

Before I realized, my hands and feet had moved. I slowly moved my whole body and left that place behind.

I continued down the stairs and trotted through a passage that relatively few people used. Even then, I did pass by some people, but they didn’t seem to pay any mind to me. To begin with, they might not even have the conceptualization that the queen was running through the halls alone.

It wasn’t like I wanted someone to call for me. However, no one did. No one tried to stop me.

Which was why I was now hiding. I was in a corner of a maze of roses in the royal palace of this forest kingdom.

I looked up at the sky. It was overcast. The air was a little heavy, so there was a chance of rain.

Was anyone looking for me by now? No, they might not have noticed. I could bet a hundred of Drossel’s white camellias that they hadn’t. “That wouldn’t be a bet,” someone said from within my mind.

——What will happen to me if I just stay here like this?

I tried to think calmly. Firstly, I would get hungry. My body would get bitten by insects. The sky was looking shady, so rain might come pouring down on me. I would get a fever from the cold, and then... and then... and then...

The power of my imagination was scarce, so the scenario ended there.

Stretching out my dress’s sleeves and removing my long gloves, I plucked the grass with a bare hand. Picking up some rose petals that had fallen to the ground, I threw them into the air even though they would not fly too far. I looked almost like a child trying to contain her bad mood. Most likely, if anyone saw me, they would wonder what on earth the queen of Fluegel was doing.

Why had I grown up to be like this? All I ever did was think big of small matters and be in a state of chaos.

This wasn’t the married life I had envisioned. I did think there would be hardships, but – how should I put it? – I thought they would be rather different. I thought they would be something easier to grasp.

I honestly didn’t know what I was fighting against. Her Highness probably hated my guts, but if I were asked whether she was my enemy, I would say she wasn’t, and I wasn’t mistaken about that. I did think she was cruel, though.

What was I fighting against? What was I scared of? I kept on being intimidated by vague things that I didn’t understand very well and shutting off my typical behavior, and while I was so frightened, my evaluation from the people around me declined, thus I had come to the point of fleeing.

What was I fighting against? Why was I fighting? Why was I...

Why?

Why was I all by myself right now?

   After that, I cried myself to exhaustion and fell asleep. Perhaps it was an extremely deep sleep, as I didn’t wake up even when night fell. Nobody realized that I was gone, so there was no ruckus over it.

Therefore, I was able to stay asleep forever.

While sleeping, I had a dream. I dreamed with the people of Drossel. Also, Violet – she appeared in it too. My favorite girl.

She looked at me as I cried and said, just like before, “You are such a crybaby.” She also said, “I would like to cease your tears, but I do not have a handkerchief with me.”

I told her that I didn’t need one and hugged her, asking her to stay by my side instead.

I realized that, while I was crying on Violet’s chest, she had turned into Alberta. When I thought, “It’s Alberta”, the tears overflowed even harder.

I appealed to Alberta. No matter what I said, no one listened to it seriously. No matter what I said, people would make faces, as if poking fun at me. No matter what I said, my situation never improved. No matter who I looked at, nobody would help me. No matter who I looked at, nobody was my ally. No matter where I searched, you wouldn’t be there. No matter where I searched, you wouldn’t be there. No matter where I searched, you... you... you...

“It’s because you’re not here, Alberta, that I’m so very weak.”

Even a crybaby like me would be able to act high and mighty if you were there. I would’ve been able to maintain my dignity as a princess. But now I was everyone’s bootlicker. This wasn’t me.

That was why my heart broke and, yes, I dropped it on the floor.

“Alberta, did you not see my heart somewhere around here? I need it... I need it...”

If I didn’t have it with me, Lord Damian would—

   “Were you waiting for me to search for you?” a husky voice whispered.

That was when I woke up.

Just like that one time, the Full Moon was looming over the night sky. The stars and moon were so beautiful in the blooming season of roses.

In a dreamy state of mind, I blinked. The tears spilled again. When my husband saw me weeping, he embraced me as if to hide me from the night sky.

“I will report to the soldiers that she has been found.”

“I don’t want any fuss. Leave us for a while.”

When I heard the voice of the chamberlain as well, my consciousness finally returned to reality. He had said “soldiers”. This might have turned into a big deal. But right now, I didn’t think it would be too scary even if my heart were destroyed. “Is that so,” was all I thought.

This marriage might really be done for now.

Once Lord Damian shooed him, he put his coat over me and crouched down. He gripped my hand, guiding me and carrying me in bridal style.

“This makes me look like a child.”

“No. You’re my wife, aren’t you? And a princess.”

There wasn’t anything else I wanted to do, so I just nodded and did as I was told.

The two of us went through the maze of roses. There was probably someone watching over us. The light of a lantern swayed in the distance as a guide.

“Do you want to divorce from me?” Lord Damian muttered out of the blue with a quivering voice, leaving me in shock. I didn’t understand very well what he was saying.

“Lord Damian, if you want to do so...”

“That’s not it, Charlotte. I don’t want to break up with you... but I was wondering... if you might be thinking of doing that, right now...”

I wasn’t sure what he was talking about.

“Ralph, the chamberlain... has been telling me all this time. That if I were to take the hand of a princess from another country for the first time in sixty years, there would definitely be criticism. He told me to make sure to protect you when the time came.”

What was he saying?

“At first, I thought I was nailing it. I stayed by your side, so that no one could even try to say anything inappropriate to you...”

What was he... saying?

“But then I had to succeed the throne... there were tons of responsibilities stacked up in front of me, and I started looking only at those stacks... I didn’t even realize that you were in such a painful spot. It’s not your fault. I’m the one who isn’t ruling the country right, and for some reason, that’s being taken out on you. Stupid, isn’t it? It’s ridiculous. Everyone thinks it’s okay to do this to you just because you’re an outsider.”

——You’re not the one to blame. I’m aware of my own defects too.

“I also heard about what happened today. It seems you acted dauntless, even though my sister said something truly foolish to you...”

——You’re not the one to blame. Lord Damian. I know it. I know that you look sour every night when you sleep. You’re doing your very best. You’re doing your best every day – every single day. I know that. You may be ten years older than me, but you’re also...

“I’m... I’m pathetic. It’s fine if you complain. Yet you haven’t uttered a single grumble to me until now. Not to Ralph, either. We basked in the fact that you were holding back and nobody took notice of it. And so, we cornered you. Until you ran away, just like that.”

——You’re also still so young.

“I’m... pathetic... I cornered my own wife...”

——So lost, so scared.

“...to the point that she ran away... barefoot.”

——And shaking.

“Charlotte, have you come to hate me already?”

——Aah, Lord Damian. So you cry too, huh. For some reason, I used to think that you didn’t shed tears. I wonder why. You were a moonlit prince for me, so I thought you didn’t cry. But I see. That’s right, even you...

“I like you. I want to stop your tears.”

——Even you have a crybaby side.

After Lord Damian had said so, I realized for the first time that I was barefoot. I had the feeling that I was wearing shoes when I left the room – I wondered what had happened. He told me that someone had looked for and retrieved them. For how long had they been searching for me? If it was enough to make this man cry, then they must have searched everywhere.

Needless to say, I was such a handful of a woman. However, my heart, which had broken apart and scattered away, began setting itself in motion little by little. I could feel it regaining its warmth.

The reason might be that, for the first time ever since I had married him, we had now finally become a couple.

He asked me if I had anything that I wanted to do or that I wanted him to do. I told him that I wanted to see Alberta. He told me that he understood. He then asked if there was anything else, and so, I told him something that everyone had laughed at. We were had gone through a lot to be married, so I wanted to do something for both of our countries. I proposed that we build an orphanage near the national borders. Lord Damian didn’t laugh. He told me it would be great.

“Let’s think things out together. I regret not talking about this before because I thought it might be a burden to you. From now on, let’s have proper talks, the two of us. About happy things, sad things, painful things. I want you to talk to me. And I also want you to listen to me,” he said. He then kept on asking if there was anything else...

Lastly, I asked him to lock me up in the palace if he ever found himself a concubine. He got angry, saying he would never have one. We couldn’t be sure. It seemed we had no knack for child making. A concubine might be necessary. Lord Damian said that even then, he didn’t want one.

And then... And then... And then... What was it again?

I buried my face into Lord Damian’s neck. It had his scent, which always made my heart race whenever I sensed it.

“Hey, maybe I want to kiss you right now. My face is a mess because I cried a lot, though. Would you do it even with a wife like this?” I asked.

Lord Damian laughed while crying. “Even if you cry, you’re my lovely wife. Of course I’d do it.”

Overjoyed at these words, I shed warm tears.

When we kissed, as expected, it was a bit salty. My heart throbbed.

“I’m still in love with you, but what about you?” I asked, making sure to sound as if any answer would be fine.

Unsurprisingly, Lord Damian continued making a tearful face. “I actually only fell for you after we got married. So my heart’s beating really fast right now.”

“I see. So our feelings are mutual. That’s amazing,” I said, impressed.

“Then, what did you think it was until now?” he asked.

“A one-sided love,” I answered sincerely.

“Don’t you hear when I tell you that I love you every morning before I leave our room?”

“I do, but I thought it was some sort of flattery...”

“I’m not such a pro at that. When I like something, all I can say is that I like it. I’m very honest. You found that out on your tenth birthday, right?”

“How nostalgic... I’ve been in love with you all this time since then.”

I was living the aftermath of that story. I didn’t know whether it was a happy or sad one. But I would live, live and live. And this would probably go on forever. I was on my own in this royal palace.

But I wasn’t all alone.

“Damian, do you love me?”

“I do, Charlotte.”

I was living here, in this forest kingdom.