#unretrievable

[clowncar27]

Rainbow colorrr !! WhooaA

[kavehayati]

So much for quitting 😭 bruh WORST DAY EVER WORST DAY EVER I thought I was normal but I had a nice extended moment tonight and then I realised just how different being normal is and whatever the heck happened from this morning to tonight oughhh it’s so jarring realising that you thought you were normal but you kind of were unconsciously going berserk. I think I felt it was so normal cause I’ve been like this for so long idek what normal is LOLOLOL

Anyways Hal was right I think that girl is attention seeking atp

[fakeoldmanfucker]

I'm gonna dress up as Dustin Moskovitz for Halloween.

[selfdiagnosedgod]

i hear the word 'girlhood' and immediately shatter into fifteen hundred different pieces

[dumbkiri]

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒 9

χα∂єη яισяѕση χ ƒ! мαιяι! яєα∂єя

ρℓσт: you are reminded that death will come for you one way or another. luckily for you, there is one person that can wash the fear away. liam's smile is all the reason you need because you die for him. for your brother to keep living.

this is your way of repaying back the mairi's for taking you in

ιηѕρσ ѕσηgѕ:

cold - aqualung, Lucy Schwartz

rosyln - bon iver, st. vincent

follow you into the dark - alan wake, rakel

the demand of man - secession studios

Writing letters wasn’t always your forte. Granted you really only wrote letters to Sloane, and kept them in your drawer for the first year. Now you��re able to send them out to her. She read all about your first year; the struggles of bullies, the fascination of bonding to Lenin, the love you had for Xaden. She knows everything from your first year and now she will know about this year. 

A more dramatic year than the previous one. And it had to be your last year at Basgaith.

You told her about everything from the beginning. The way you were forgotten so easily by your found family. You wrote about Violet and her unfortunate bonding to Tairn. Told her how that bonding affected your relationship with Xaden. 

Oh it broke your heart to write the details of them; together. But for Sloane, it should show her the love you painfully still have for Xaden. Your loyalty to him never wavered despite the way you were treated this year. Your heart belonged to him and he…he left it somewhere unretrievable.  You know how important it is to keep Violet alive, to keep him alive by protecting her. 

So you told Sloane that you being left behind had to happen. 

Then you wrote about yourself and your true family. How you’re not actually her sister. To know about the change in your signet and how you’re not who you say you are. Your name is not [Name] Mairi. You’re just [Name], the Maiden of the Moon. A witch. A woman a part of a covenant. 

You held your tears back, the ache in your hand asking you to stop for a minute. You had no time to spare, it was running out for you. It didn’t help that you spent months in a slumber either. Your hands couldn’t write all that you wanted to put on the piece of paper. Scattered thoughts mingled with reasoning and empathy had not allowed you to be sincere. But here you sat at your desk writing a letter to Sloane. 

Your poor sister. 

Your hand moved with rushed thoughts, but rational enough to tell her the truth. You wanted to be soft with your words, comfort her through the letters. But Sloane wasn’t like that. Screw the idea of empathy because Sloane wouldn’t understand why you died. She would want you to be harsh with your words, to tell her everything. For you, what needs to be done always outweighs what should happen. Or what people want to happen. 

Sloane would want you to live and to teach her what you know about fighting. You promised her that you would. Yet there is no chance for that after your death. At least, you don’t think that coming back from the dead will allow you to come back to Basgaith.

If that is Xaden’s plan, to remain a faithful wingleader. A leader of the rebellion more like. To finish his time at Basgaith and get deployed out to some outpost with high activity so be it. 

Your plan will be to find your sisters and save them before they die. Drained. Exposed. Drifting in your dreams and teaching you how to harness your power. 

Well someone will be able to teach Sloane your kicks. You scribbled onto the parchment with loathing, nonetheless you weren’t going to deprive Sloane from a fighting technique. Violet will be all she has in order to learn your kicking style. 

.   .   .

Violet will be able to teach you my technique. It’s not perfect, but she mastered it. All I ask is that you do not let your stubborn nature push Violet away. You always said you wanted to learn from me, but I won’t be there for you. At least, not in the way you want me to. 

So suck in your pride, bite down on your tongue and learn from her. Don’t forget that I trained her for months. She knows how to attack, how to react and I know that she will want to help you. It’s the least she can do for me. 

.   .   .

Then you paused your writing with another thought in your head derailing you from your original one. Sera never told you outright what happens after your awakening of your true power. But she said that you would make a pact with Xaden, the same one she committed to with Fen Riorson. 

Her ghostly words repeated in your mind like the fog in your Threshing: 

“A Union between Riders, Fliers and Witches. A combination of daring and glorious fighters that will rule the earth and the sky. To allow Witches to have a stable connection with dragons and gryphons.” 

Sloane wouldn’t understand this. Not yet. 

Living through this battle isn’t going the right way for balance. No matter what anyone says or tries to do. It won’t affect you, the way they want it to. Although it will change your death outcome. 

You’ve seen it all. Every potential death. Every possibility. By far, the worst one is drowning.

The crashing waves of Lenin fighting off two wyvern in a massive lake did not help you. Swimming in the dark, having no direction of which way is up, terrified you. Having three creatures fighting in the water only slapped your body around in dizzy whirlpools. 

Knock knock……knock.

You snapped your eyes away from your piece of paper and towards your door. You blinked once then saw a figure outside your door waiting patiently for you to greet them. The way he fumbled with a wooden figurine made you weakly smile at his presence. 

You stashed your letters away including the new one and walked over to the door. Opening it slowly, you looked up at your brother who smiled at you. 

“Surprise,” He said, showing off the new figurine of Lenin to you. 

All the fear you felt washed away at his smile. You were dying for him, for Liam to keep smiling and to keep carving these little dragons. 

You sacrifice yourself for him. 

“Liam,” You breathed and warmly welcomed him in, your hand finding purchase on his wrist that held the statue. Pulling him through the barricade that you made stronger with your magic, he shivered involuntarily. 

“Usually it’s a lot easier getting in,” He says with another shiver. 

You closed the door behind him and lied with ease, “Maybe it’s been awhile since you visited. After all, I’ve slept for a long time!” He chuckled and sat at your desk setting the figurine down. 

“So, are you going to give me something for my first year? I know you plan on giving Sloane a kunai.” Liam says this with a teasing tone and you leaned over him, grabbing the pink kunai. This one belongs to Alani, your caring sister-witch. 

You twirled the pink dagger in your hand as you pressed your lips together in thought. In a joking tone, you gestured to Sera’s green dagger with your free hand, “You can have that if you want. I’m just afraid you’re going to poke your eye out.”

Liam grabbed the knife and twirled it with relative ease, just spinning it with one slender finger. “These knives are a little too…girly for me. Like they were made for women.” He wasn’t wrong. These knives belonged to witches, women of great power. 

Nonetheless you huffed out in offense and Liam shook his head, “You know what I mean! Come on!”

“If you look closely, Liam,” You stopped fidgeting with the pink kunai, “All of these daggers have specific runes etched into the blade. The user just needs to know how to power them.” You leaned over him, your chin resting on the crown of his head as you showed Alani’s dagger off. 

“Oh, my dagger is named Truth Speaker! The runes on it will make anyone speak the truth if we’re making contact with them! It’s a little more discreet than Rema’s and Sera’s runes. So it comes in handy!” 

You dragged a tip of your finger on the runes Alani etched into the blade herself. Her care and kindness could be felt in the metal. 

“I’ve seen these symbols before,” Liam whispered and you hummed in response. 

“Where from?”

“In your room, sometimes the clothing you wore had them sewed in like they were a part of a design. You even had books written in a different language with these runes. I always asked our parents why you wore robes that seemed bigger than you. They said it made you feel like you were home. But it never made sense because you never left home.” 

Truth Speaker made Liam speak freely, his words striking a cord inside you. Robes. Yes, you remember the robes. The dark purple one belongs to Rema, the pink one to Alani and the light green belongs to Sera. Colors that represented them as a person. 

Purple fit Rema because of her ambition. 

Pink fit Alani because of her innocence. 

Light green fit Sera because of her optimism. 

“Don’t worry, little one,” Sera brushed her hand onto your cheek, “Your color will come to you after you awaken. And your kunai will change and you will make a cloak matching your persona. We all decorated our clothing to fit us.” 

“What if I give you my life, Liam?” You ask, pressing your cheek onto the crown of his head. He watched your dagger float effortlessly between your hands. 

“I wouldn’t know what to do with it,” He answered. 

“Live,” I responded back, “You live your life to the fullest.”

“As if I can do that,” Liam shifted in his seat and moved his head up and you removed yourself from him. Not daring to look into his eyes. You’d break. And you’ve done enough of that lately. 

“Anyways what kind of situation would I be in to give your life up for me?” He laughed and you looked at your new mural, sketches and sketches on Lenin littered the wall. Liam is always so positive. 

“I heard you fell off of Deigh,” You say with a painful smile, “If I was there, I would burnout using my other signet to save you. I haven’t mastered levitating, but for you I’d gladly force it.” 

“Well luckily for us both, Violet was there. She saved me.” 

You didn’t miss the way he said her name. Repulsed. Betrayed. Without much thought you invaded his mind, watching the flashes of his memory flicker by. You aren’t particularly good at this part. Listening to thoughts is a lot easier, and watching memories of the past is a lot harder. 

It will take more practice to do this with ease. Yet you saw what he witnessed. Xaden, Violet and yourself standing outside of Xaden’s room. The distorted images gave you enough of an idea. Liam saw everything. 

“You missed a spot by the way,” You snatched a piece of parchment off of your wall. The new form of Lenin on this piece. You walked over to your brother and pointed at Lenin’s right wing. 

“Not everyone knows this, but Lenin has this spot on the top of his wing that’s shaped like a waning crescent moon.”

Liam gently took the piece of parchment with care and analyzed the detailed sketches of Lenin. “Wow, is the spot actually shaped like this?” 

“Yes and if that impresses you, you should see the underside of his tail. It’s dotted with crescent moons. He’s astoundingly beautiful.” You breathed with pride. Then your eyes drifted to your desk drawer, the one filled with letters for Sloane. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat and opened it up, showing it to Liam with nervousness for his upcoming questions. “I need you to stash these letters in your room, Liam. They’re for Sloane.” 

He took a peek inside the drawer and chuckled, “That’s a lot of letters, you think our little sister is able to read all of them?” He drew his eyes up to yours and they dazzled like diamonds. They were so damn pretty. 

.    .   .

“Your hair is natural, but I changed your eyes,” Sera hummed, “To make you look more like the Mairi’s. Your natural eye color is lilac, a color that belonged to your real mother.”

.   .   .

“She read all the ones I sent her for my first year…I hope,” You laughed with him and he took the sealed letters into his hands. Turning them over he says with his smile disappearing being replaced with a frown, “I’m sure you wrote about my ignorance, huh? About how I spent more time with the child of General Sorrengail than you, our sister. I dropped everything for Violet, only to be- Whatever, doesn’t matter now. I’m sorry for not being there for you, [Name]. She came in like..like-”

He struggled with his comparison, but you knew what he meant. 

“She came in like a violent storm,” You whispered and placed a hand on his shoulder, “just make sure Sloane gets these. With Dain knowing my signet’s capabilities, it won’t take long for my room to be searched.”

Liam set the letters in his lap, his hand holding them tightly and he sighed. Yeah, something is bothering him. And you know it’s because of the weight today brings. You can hear the whole college getting ready for tonight. 

Reunification Day. 

“Would you like to get some fresh air before the sun disappears?” You ask with kindness, knowing all the weight on his shoulders. 

“I have to get ready,” He says. 

Then it snaps for you. He was attending the party with Violet. Xaden is a real piece of work for making Liam do this. You won’t stand for it. Your brother has a choice. 

“Don’t go,” You tell him, “Why would you subject yourself to that kind of torture? No one else is going. Not Xaden. Not Garrick. Not Bodhi or Imogen. I’m not going.” 

“Which is why I have to,” Liam counters and stands up from the chair. He towers over you and says, “Whether I like it or not, Violet needs someone with her. Who better to go than her personal bodyguard.” 

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest, “Fine, I’ll go.”

“You just said you’re not going,” Liam huffs, “and I’m not going to let you hang out with the woman who tried to fuck your boyfriend. That’ll be super insensitive of me and I’m afraid you’d tell Sloane about it. Can’t have you painting me like some villain.” He joked at the end, but all you could focus on was one word. 

Tried. 

“What do you mean by tried? I’m sure Xaden and Violet did more than try,” You scoffed, your fingernails digging into the skin of your arms. But the furrow of your eyebrows showed Liam that you didn’t really know anything. What was really going on between Xaden and Violet. 

“Xaden never tried anything with her,” Liam stated and the way your eyes begged for more, told him you needed this. Needed the explanation of why your boyfriend seemed to be covered in love marks. “I was there, watching the three of you outside his room. I saw everything.”

Yeah, you knew that. 

“When you left him, Xaden lost his shit with Violet and I watched her leave. Then he saw me and I wanted the damn explanation. Wanted to know how he could do that to you. You were right, indulging in a mating bond that isn’t his was wrong on many levels. I wanted to punch him so badly in the face I guess he knew because he told me to go for it.” 

Liam sat back down in the chair and shook his head, “Xaden waited for it, but I couldn’t. So someone else did.” 

“What?” More confusion clouded your mind and Liam grinned. 

“Yeah, Imogen rocked his shit. Her punch sent him flying into his door. She would have given him more, but Bodhi pulled her back.” Liam shrugged his shoulders awkwardly, “She spat every insult at him while he was down.” 

As Liam told the story, you closed your eyes and focused on his thoughts. Pursued his memories for the sake of following his words. 

.   .   .   .   .

“You fucker! You broke her damn heart and let her walk away! How stupid can you be!” Imogen shouted, Bodhi’s arms tightened around her waist as he gave his cousin a side glare. Even Bodhi couldn’t understand what Xaden was doing. Playing you is so damn infuriating to him. 

“Are you done?” Xaden asked, wiping the drop of blood from the corner of his lips. Imogen split them with one punch and Liam silently thanked her. When Imogen kept her mouth shut, Xaden pushed himself away from his door and opened it up, gesturing for the three of them to walk in. 

“Then let’s talk.”

When the four of them walked into his room, Xaden closed the door behind him and said, “I didn’t do anything with Violet.” 

“The marks on your neck says otherwise,” Bodhi sneered, pointing at his own neck to get the point across to his cousin. 

“Again, I didn’t do anything with Violet. The mating bond between Sgaeyl and her mate is strong, their feelings come in strong. Violet doesn’t know how to shield herself, so she becomes a mess. You know how it’s like Imogen, let’s not play dumb.” 

Liam looked at Imogen and the pink haired female crossed her arms over her chest, arguing against him,  “We were first years. We have an excuse, Violet has an excuse. But you’re a fucking third year. I don’t get you.”

She snaps and begins to go off, “Ever since Violet arrived here, you’ve been different. You’re all about the girl whose mom killed our parents or did you forget that too? Then you have [Name] forgive you and when you guys start going on the right path, you fucking take a walk with Violet Sorrengail. At this point, Bodhi should have been the one to confess his feelings to [Name], not you. He would be loyal to her and-” 

“Imogen,” Bodhi shook his head and moved his eyes over to his cousin who listened to Imogen. Liam is not surprised by the fire in Xaden’s eyes. He knew the jealousy problem Xaden had. Everyone did. Xaden did his damn best driving away any guy who showed interest in you. He even kept his cousin at bay. 

“I never kissed Violet. I never initiated anything intimate with her. If anything, she’s a nuisance to my relationship with [Name]. You think I want to leave the woman I’m in love with for a Sorrengail? I was happy with [Name] before Violet came in. And I fucking crave that feeling of happiness with her now.”

“What is going on then?” Liam questioned. 

“Like I said, it’s the mating bond. Lenin is back to normal with a few changes to his appearance. Now that their son is back, Sgaeyl and her mate are going damn crazy for each other. This session between them is nothing like I ever felt before. It affected Violet more than it did me. I pushed Violet away before anything more happened.” 

Then Xaden uncrossed his arms, “I know I screwed up and I don’t know what to do.” His eyes softened up in a pained way of expressing his own heartbreak, “You’re right, Imogen. I lost her and it’s all because I couldn’t communicate effectively with her. This is something I will have to fix, but I don’t think I have enough time.” 

“Time?” Liam mockingly laughed and countered back. He knew it was wrong for them to take their anger out on Xaden because they all ignored you. In their own ways that was less than heartbreak and borderline cheating. But it still hurts you. So his words now were meant for each of them, yet directed at their leader.  “You have time, Xaden. You always did. You talked to her when we forced ourselves into her room. You talked to her when you asked her to train Violet. You talked to her when you accused her of letting the unbonded into Violet’s room. You know there is always time to have a conversation with her! It’s just never the right topic. Talk to her about you guys. About your future. Anything that doesn’t involve Violet. That’s all she wants, isn’t it? Time with you?” 

Everyone looked at the Mairi and kept their mouths closed, but Xaden did speak up. 

“I won’t let her suffer anymore than she already has. Believe me, I want her. I need her, but to come crawling back to her begging for forgiveness will make it seem like I did cheat on her. She…doesn’t need me. She needs one of you guys to talk to her instead. Maybe you can change her mind.” 

“Change her mind about you?” Imogen asked, her anger still apparent. 

“About something else,” He adds with little to no explanation. 

.   .   .   .   .

That was enough searching through your brother’s mind. 

“Then he suggested that one of us could change your mind,” Liam slowly spoke and looked into your diamond eyes, “Not that I’m here because of what he said. I’m here to check on my sister and make sure she’s okay. After all, we lost people on this day.”

“So he never did anything with Violet?” 

“Not with intention or otherwise. She was the one that pushed.” 

Was it relief that filled your chest? Was it relief that revived the butterflies in your stomach allowing them to flutter about with happiness?

You shook your head and said, “Well then I guess I should talk to him. Especially if he won’t make the first move.” You grabbed Liam’s arm and held it with gentle care, “You don’t have to go, Liam. Violet is going with her other friends isn’t she? It’s not a setting any of the Marked Ones want to attend. She can understand that.”

Liam placed a hand on yours and chuckled, “Oh, come on. I can handle myself. Just speak to Xaden and have a moment under the stars. You two looked good last year and we all want to see you guys back together.” 

You knew what he was talking about. Last year, Xaden took you out to the parapet, his hand holding gently onto yours. He talked and talked like it would be the last chance to do so. In hindsight, maybe he knew all of this would happen. 

Then you two swirled and twirled with precise steps leading each other in a graceful, yet dangerous dance on the parapet. Lenin and Sgaeyl watched with careful eyes, their constant humming allowing you to create a song in your head for you and Xaden. 

The dance was amazing, you would never forget the charming smile on his face or the way he held you so close to his body. After some time, he stopped twirling you and pressed his forehead on yours. His nose tickling yours and his minty breath falling onto your face as he promised you, 

“I will never leave you behind.” 

He sealed it with a kiss so passionate all you could think about was him. Xaden Riorson, your future King. Once everything is reestablished, you all can go back home and rebuild it. His promise to you meant everything. 

Oh, how you let it fool you. 

...

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬: @luvly-writer @blueeclipsepaperstudent @honethatty12 @poeticbookwormcat @cheappremingerfromdelululand @eep500 @littlepippilongstocking @86laura11 @lxnvmvrzx @what-will-be-your-verse @sheblogs @fangirling-galore @callsigns-haze @side-angel @faeofthemoonandstars @jesschalamet @abysshaven @bisexualbitchsgotass @books-hlmc @r0sluvs @galaxystern08 @bwormie @littleemissperfecttt @lagrandeourse @steph-fowlie @casiiopea2 @nisarelle @matrixmoxi @eepyfaerie @thegirlwiththepurpleshelves

hope y'all listened to the music, was hella inspired by it

[pinknipszz]

IT'S BUZZCUT SEASON, ANYWAY

⤷ gojo satoru, ryomen sukuna, and fushiguro toji

SATORU thought it was going to be a harmless prank. hair grows back after all.

well. he didn’t anticipate his “harmless prank” to cause this much emotional distress. 

“it’s so ugly!” you scream, hiding your tear-stained face in your hands in a desperate attempt to forget the horrific image of your sweet, sweet boyfriend and his white buzzcut. entirely dismissive of the fact that you’re in a public setting—a park, actually—satoru quickly scoops you up in his arms with consolation on his lips.

“it’s not that bad baby,” he swears. “it’ll grow back in a few weeks anyway.” you spiral at his words as images of that vile haircut flash in your mind. after putting you back on your feet, satoru tries to pull your hands away from your pretty face, but his efforts turn futile once he hears something along the lines of: “it is that bad!” 

it comes out as a hoarse, incoherent muffle, but he understands it nonetheless.

“i’ll wear a wig!” he blurts out desperately. "there's a shop down the street. we'll buy one right now." your shoulders stop shaking as you fall silent, and for a moment, satoru thinks he made the right choice of words. When you barrel into another fit of loud sobs, however, an unretrievable part of him chips away.

with a heavy heart, satoru sighs and holds you against his chest, cradling your head. he really fucked up this time. people throw him strange looks, but others—especially women—only sigh and shake their heads sympathetically at your anguish. no one can really blame you for reacting like this anyway. 

“SUKUNA,” you gasp in awe at the sight of him. 

you’re hardly seated yet, but the thin glass shield does little to spare him from the bewildered look on your face as you gawk at the short, neat buzz in place of his usual slick back. he feels his eye twitch.

when the officer coughs behind him, sukuna throws a mean look over his shoulder before ripping the telephone off the wall and holding it close to his ear. he only gets to hear your sweet voice once a month, and he’ll be damned if you waste it on his hair. “don’t ask about it,” he gruffs out. “tell me what you’ve been up to.”

you blink once—twice, even—before mirroring his actions and grabbing the prison’s janky telephone (having done this so many times, you don’t even wince when you touch some mysterious residue left by the previous visitor). you try to speak, your lips curling around the syllables of a word, but not a single sound escapes your throat. 

sukuna rolls his eyes at your loss for words. “come on. talk to me, doll.” his light tap against the glass earns him a warning that you don’t quite catch from the officer, but by the quiet string of curses that leaves the receiver, you guess it must have something to do with cutting his minutes. which you absolutely did not want.

“i think it fits you,” you say hurriedly. “you have a nice face, so the buzz works really well.” your delivery wasn’t the most elegant, and you might have even stuttered in between, but sukuna nearly groans when he hears you again. god he misses you. more than you miss his pretty pink hair.

TOJI thinks his life can’t get any worse—or at least that’s what he thought before getting into a car accident last week.

by the grace of god, toji survived with only a few minor injuries, but his hair, now full of a million tiny glass shards, wasn’t so lucky. once he realized that they were impossible to wash out, toji knew there was only one thing left to do.

a loud shriek echoes through the apartment. 

“toji—why are you bald?” you point an accusatory finger at your boyfriend of three years, standing in the middle of your bathroom with a towel around his waist. maybe under different circumstances, you’d be drooling over the delicious sight, but how could you possibly do that when his hair is so close to his scalp!

toji simply won’t stand for this slander. now don’t get him wrong. he loves you more than anything in the world, but the last thing any guy wants to hear is his name and the word “bald” in the same sentence. “i’m not bald goddamnit!” he barks back with equal ferocity. “it’s called a buzzcut. get it right, woman!”

the hilarity of the situation has you doubling over in laughter. there are tears ruining your mascara, but you don’t half the mind to care, and neither does he as tension melts away from his shoulders. toji chuckles and shakes his head at your desperate wheezes.

this interaction could’ve gone much, much worse.

(masterlist) | (a/n: i don't think anyone else in the series would get a buzz tbh)

[fraugwinska]

I'm so in love with your writing!!!! If you are doing requests could you write about the first time Alastor and his darling spend the night together? Maybe they are up late listening to music and his darling suggests he stay the night. They are new to the whole relationship thing and Alastor is awkward but agrees. Could be a touch spicy but mostly just fluff. <3

I did a unique take on this, I hope you don't mind, my lovely Anon? I had the inspiration for it in a fleeting moment and just started to type, remembering your ask... And I kinda love what came out of it! :> As always, @macabr3-barbi3 was my rock and my anchor during the writing process - you have too much patience with me, love! <3

And a huge 'Thank you' to the lovely, ever-so-talented @minkdelovely for prereading this for me to find the perfect title for this story. You are both an inspiration and a delight, and I truly appreciate you, my darling!

Kissing was something Alastor had slowly gotten used to. Kissing you, that is.

You had made it easy for him, he'd give you that. Patience is a virtue rarely found in hell, but when the turning point in his friendship with you tipped the scale to the side of more amorous realms, the Radio Demon, normally superior and confident, had found himself to be exceedingly useless. The lines between companionship and partnership were drawn by his mind rather than physical barriers, and crossing them alone had been a tremendous effort for him. Alastor had never thought he'd feel anything for another sinner, hell, the bare concept of feeling was generally strange to him.

Love was something that had been intimately intertwined with the feeling he had for his mother. So pure, and so lost and unretrievable after her untimely death. To feel this similar yet completely different kind of love for you? Unimaginable, and yet, there you were. And with an unbelievable ease you slowly took root in his mind, weaving your way into his thoughts and settling in his heart without you putting in real conscious effort. Had your encounters been mostly accidental and brief at first, Alastor found himself longing to walk into you more and more before actively seeking your company. To you, he was never unwelcome, in complete contrast to the other residents of the hotel, who tended to avoid or flee from him whenever they could. Whether he would be annoyingly chatty in amusement, hurtful in cold anger or buzzing with excitement (and sometimes murderous glee) - you entertained his whims, listened intently or soothed him with a few chosen words, always finding the right ones.

You shift in his arms, your head leaning a little in to grant his hungry mouth better access to yours with a small, delicious sigh, ignoring or maybe even blissfully unaware that your lips must've caught on his teeth somewhere along the line and ripped open, thin, beautiful crimson lines slowly running down the sides of your mouth. He always said that red suited you best.

Your differences made you quite an odd sight in hell's scenery. What many could only admire with a good dose of fear was never scary to you and the fact you openly regarded the Radio Demon with polite respect and genuine endearment left quite an impression on the others - so much so that it had earned you the hushed title 'Daddy-Deer Whisperer', bestowed by the ever-so-childish Angel Dust. It was when he caught you scolding Angel for using that expression and spreading his usual slander about him with a rare display of open anger that he first felt the gentle tug in his chest that has since remained whenever you were near Alastor. At first, he had shrugged it off as another of his eccentricities, or perhaps hunger pangs he hadn't fulfilled for a while (A very likely thing given his... appetite). But it persisted whenever you looked at him with that little smile on your lips, and he knew. Knew that he had to have you, and that you would be his, in good time. He could never have imagined how easy that would turn out to be, how accommodating to his needs you were from the moment you acknowledged his advances, and were able to keep up with his admittedly glacial pace from then on. While no one dared to ridicule him to his face, the others were comfortable enough around you to tease you for having a partner that seemed so uninterested in physical attention. Well.

While they were not completely mistaken, they didn't know all there was to Alastor the demon with the eternal smile. The foreignness of what it meant to touch and love and the, he had to say it, pitiful lack in experience made Alastor hesitant for the first time in both of his lifes. How could he publicly display his affections when he could barely bring himself to show them in the confines of your company alone? Yet you never demanded anything physical from him, and he realized with a startle that you were perfectly content with just being with him. Where it had taken him weeks to consider kissing you for the first time, it took another couple or so to slowly allow his touches to drift from a brief grasp on an elbow or waist to a tighter grip, resting a hand at the small of your back, enjoying the sensation of your hip bone gently pressing into his palm, pulling you a little bit closer as your hands ran over his arms. In his embrace your arms found their natural place on his shoulders, the weight becoming familiar and calming to him. Until one day, it wasn't anymore. One day he noticed, truly recognized the feeling of you in his arms and found himself struggling not to pull you even closer. And without much thinking, his lips had been on yours, chaste almost and testing, savoring the contact and tasting you without the need to devour. And he found that with you, only you, just a taste was so much more satiating.

It was the first of many kisses shared, but to Alastor, this one held a special significance. You had been stunned, yes, but when he withdrew, overstimulated and unsure of his actions, he found neither judgment or reproach, only a silent smile and a hint of blush on your cheeks before you had returned the affection in your own, respectful way that he appreciated so much - soft pressure and warmth enveloping his hands - and a change of topic, easing him into a lighthearted conversation that had lasted hours, just to calm his nerves. Since then, Alastor has held on to these memories, his firsts with you. And there were countless - all kept near to your heart. Charlie, Angel and Niffty could pester you with any intrusive, interrogating question, you would only smile at them and repeat the same sentiment: What you see is the only thing you get to know.

"Alastor?"

"Hm?" Your voice pulls him out of his thoughts, and his eyes focus on your beautiful face where he sees your brows furrowed with what he learned is concern.

"Is everything okay? You seemed to be somewhere else."

Ah, you were worried. For him. As you always were, so susceptible to his needs, as if it was natural to you. Another peculiarity and yet an incredibly welcome thing for a creature like him who found himself on the receiving end of unreciprocated concern very, very rarely.

"Just a little lost in thought is all, my dear."

"We can stop you know, it's almost midnight anyway." you say softly, your hands streaking soothingly over his arm as they slowly retreat from his shoulders.

He pauses, debating if the sensation of your fingertips touching the soft skin below his buzzed undercut, coupled with a very, very warm and inviting kiss had been enough. Had it ever been? Enough? It wasn't that you ever had any expectations of what would come after, seemingly content with anything he'd allow you to have - a softly spoken praise, an elegant compliment or even just peaceful silence before he'd take his leave. And knowing this Alastor suddenly is... displeased with the idea of this moment not lasting.

His claws wrap around your hands, a gentle pull guiding them back to their rightful place, back to the nape of his neck. He enjoys the rare sight of your surprised and red-flushed face before he let his lips trail your jawline, relishing in the way your skin breaks into goosebumps under his mere breath and fleeting touch before he speaks.

"I'm not so sure about that. Being able to stop, that is."

And he's true to his words. A searing fire is lit when your lips meet his again and his body tenses as he tries and fails to restrain the feeling it coaxes within him. Alastor wants to stay this time, wants to hold this miraculous thing that loves him so undeservingly close, wants to experience the feeling of skin on skin in your pristine bed sheets as he allows himself a rare night of sleep, with your sweet sighs as his lullaby and soft body as his covers. Another first with you, to add to the collection. And while you were always willing to indulge him, he feels, in the way you were pressing into him in cautious urgency, the whine that slips beyond the restriction of your bitten lips and the tremble of your fingers that you weaved into his hair, that this is - finally - what you, maybe for the first time, selfishly crave for, too.

Patience is a virtue, yes, but after all this saintly time he'd allow the both of you the sin of greed for a night.

[iri-desky]

Ah yes, how to kiss a boy...

● Walk towards him.

● Gently cup his face as he finally looks towards you after years of being the one watching when he's not.

● Suddenly kiss him with vigor as you hold his face your hand, resisting his attempts to pull away.

● Finally pull away and give him another, sweeter, truer, short kiss.

● Proceed to pull back and wring your hands around his neck.

● Kiss him again as you watch the scales fall into your favor, as least for you, not to others

● Pull away and continue to wring his neck as you are racked with bullets unto your sides, staining your White Coat of Death red

● Give him one final smile as blood drips from your mouth and you finally collapse, letting go of his neck with the last thing you see being him finally looking at you and actually seeing you in full for the first and last time of your adult lives

● Hit the ground and slowly bleed out, thus solidifying your lifeless corpse as a permanent stencil in his brain that will haunt him years to come alongside the idealized image of his childhood unrequited love that was forever lost the moment that she watched a loved one die the same way and go further distant after going missing several weeks ago presumptively never go be seen again, thus becoming a shadow that follows him as he chases an unretrievable light that you tried to be for him but he denied. You become a ghost that trails behind him that represents who you truly were in life before the moment you died, a gruesome reminder and manifestation of his regret and the heavy reality he faces which strongly contrasts the rosy-lensed personification of a past he can't go back to and yet is still is a very real perception of a human compared to a fairy tale he made in his head. And after all that, become exactly what someone you now forgot warned you you'll become if you did this, a haunting reminder that will curse him for years to come while you die and he lives on as he becomes a victim of your shallow emotions

And maybe survive idk

[sketchbot9000]

Telephoto documentation of Mourning S.T.A.R. [unretrievable and rogue AI] (and her daughter Lucy) spotted outside a Pennsylvania Target

[swollenbabyfat]

Failgirl Fluttershy Zine Update

So, the zines were scheduled to arrive to me today, but they are not here yet - they seem to be stuck processing in customs where they’ve been for a while. I am a tad worried about them, as something similar happened with the test print and it was lost, however they are insured and if they were unretrievable they can be reprinted. I’ve contacted the printers but they’re unable to do anything for at least 2-3 more weeks to confirm it’s not just customs taking a while.

I really apologize for all the hiccups in the shipping of this project, thank you for your patience as this is the biggest one I’ve ever taken on. If you need any assistance at all related to the zine feel free to message me! I will continue to keep you guys updated as I get more info.

[insurrection-if]

NOOO it breaks my heart to hear this is happening to you😭

I especially know how it feels to have all of your hard work lost, with no chance of recovery. I know just how despairing and just how unmotivating it is. I think I can speak for everyone that we understand if you need any physical and or mental break, because we love this project and we appreciate the author even more

Thank you for this incredibly kind reassurance! I’m so sorry to hear you’ve shared a similar experience, and hope you’ve recovered well from the loss! Aha, (as embarrassing as it is to say) this isn't my first rodeo either with losing such core documents for a creative work.

I’m still haunted by the loss of another concept I poured so much into back in high school. I might never forgo the intense regret I harbor over that lost work. At the very least, the case for Insurrection isn’t as ‘scorched earth’ as that previous disaster. There’s much to salvage, much to mourn, but the concepts and characters themselves are far too ingrained in my head to be entirely compromised by the mess that occurred.

I confess, I did require a mental break from Insurrection to cope with the fallout of everything. For a time, the thought of writing for it again left me nauseous. Staring at a blank document summoned the vague memories of unretrievable text I had adored, could never hope to recreate, and an overwhelming sense of inadequacy suffocated me as I struggled to pick up the pieces.

It’s taken time, but I’m back on the saddle, scared but trying. (　´∀｀)b I’m not quite starting from scratch—I’ve miraculously retained enough to not fall as far as that—but I’m forging an opportunity to restructure things for a (hopefully) better experience in the end. Streamlining some sequences here and there, forcing a cap on myself with the knowledge I can always expand based on feedback later on (if need be). I’m trying to view this all as a fire I needed to help Insurrection regrow into something stronger, something better.

(ᵕ ´ ∇ ˋ ˶) We’ll see if that’s the case in the end!

I cannot thank individuals like you enough who continue to offer me such lovely encouragement and grace. Thank you for being so considerate, your empathy was such a beacon in a rather dark moment! （●´∀｀）ノ♡

[t00thpasteface]

HELP ME FIND THIS POKÉCOMIC

above is my eyewitness sketch as i remember some of the panels. last seen hosted on monsterballs.smackjeeves.com (now defunct), uploaded 2010 but circulated on tumblr a couple years later; i know i saw it on here circa 2011. the wayback machine can pull up the original website page for the comic but the image itself is broken and unretrievable.

PLEASE if anyone has it you have GOT to send it to me. when will this comic return from the war

[bloofusqkazoo]

Feeling sick today and also very sad because one of my Foster’s merch packages got lost in the mail and is unretrievable. 💔💔 Literally my luck though lmao. I’ll have some tea and watch Nightmare On Wilson Way.

[fryingpan1234567]

guys the 141 is flying to Disneyland

(hear me out)

Price, for someone’s birthday (probably Gaz’s if we’re honest with ourselves), takes the squad to Disney for a few days. Now these grown ass battle-hardened absolute units of men… are fucking ecstatic. Even Ghost. Especially Gaz and Soap, who literally Did Not Shut The Fuck Up about it all the way from the announcement up until they were there, and then they were speechless.

Anyways, a compilation of things that happened:

Ghost was mistaken for the Winter Soldier because of the mask and all-black tact fit and eyeliner by a group of middle schoolers who then demanded a picture

Soap got glitterbombed during a parade and had sparkles in his mohawk for the rest of the day

Price lost his hat to the Matterhorn somewhere in the cave system, meaning it was virtually unretrievable 

Gaz got jumpscared by the fake sharks on the Finding Nemo submarine ride

Soap ate a total of twelve bags of cotton candy over the course of a three day trip

They all spent more on merch than the fucking plane tickets💀

Ghost and Gaz had a pretty epic lightsaber fight, red vs green, in the dark in Galaxy’s Edge so all the lights in the background were on it was DOPE‼️

Price was forced to wear Mickey ears OVER his replacement hat so it folded over the top of his head like a weird reverse Captain taco

Soap got WAY into the Indiana Jones ride and almost got thrown out of the jeep like six times

Same with Gaz and the Pirates of the Caribbean one

Ghost going speechless in awe of the immersion of the Star Wars rides

They all vow to never speak of what happened on the Guardians/ Tower of Terror ride, because no one was actually sure who screamed the loudest.

Soap tried to fight Donald Duck and had to be dragged away by Price before he traumatized the crowd of watching children

Even though he still had a half-face black mask on, Ghost let Soap and Gaz drag him into getting matching face paint

Gaz had a Princess and the Frog themed outfit one of the days and PHEW

Ghost went back home with two pairs of ears: a Jack Skellington one and the sparkly purple one that has a unicorn horn and rainbow train behind it

Also the others convinced him to wear a Mickey Mouse shirt over his hoodie one of the days

I can’t express how much they all fucking lived for the Cars ride (it’s because it’s simply the best one ANYWAYS)

Soap being thoroughly distracted by Ghost and his see-through shirt after they did Splash Mountain and got soaked

The fucking contrast between Price getting some kind of whisky situation that’s just brown but in a cool cup from a bar in Galaxy’s Edge and then Gaz finding some god-awful multicolored milkshake that’s a foot and a half tall and 30% whipped cream

Anyways the serotonin is REAL please ask me to do other characters or continue this I just think the cod boys deserve to go to Disney every once in a while

[alma-amentet]

The most annoying thing in Stormveil Castle for me are not those hawks (like others often say). Or anything. I'm a mage, I take the birds down with glintblades, easy enough.

It's those f*cking ballistas! Or idk, the first cortyard is passable (when I tried and entered the main gate, I ran to those ballista guys and took them all down, then dealt with the rest of the crowd).

But when you're done with it, there's a passage to the cortyard which is pretty close to Godrick himself (the one with many shooters and an omen)... and there are guys throwing some awful magic from the walls! And I just couldn't, it's strong, dodging it felt too hard. Was tired to die there again and again, dropped many runes and gave up eventually (after all, it's not necessary, I already got to Godrick through the back entrance and explored most of the castle).

But there are lillies there, from where they are shooting, I need to gather all the lillies! Also want to punish those bastards for my unretrieved 7k runes. Now trying to figure out if there's a way to sneak to those guys from the back, to get there from the roof or the wall... Can't find any info and exploring myself.

[ask-postcrash-curly]

From d1tz to Curly:

Hah! I didn't know doing this is equivalent to a whisper!

Is this better? Or are either fine? Anyways, time to start!

P.S. I accidentally put 4 instead of 5 hearts, so pretend I said 5... aha ahaaa...

⭐ Loading…

50% █████▒▒▒▒▒

🐟 Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!

99% ██████████

You placed your bait in the end of the line and threw it as far away as you could. ‘Plop’ went the hook as it sank into the water. You waited… and waited… your gaze glued on the bait… and caught a glimpse of a silhouette. Chomp! You felt the bite from your rod, and so you reeled and reeled and… oh dear moon goddess, save us.

🪼 Now Playing: Toby Fox - Ghost Fight 🪼

                   .ılılılllıılılıllllıılılllıllı.

0:00 o──────────────────── 0:57

                    ↺   |◁   II   ▷|   ♡

You fished the worst of them all… a Discord Blob and his Discord Kitten-fish. “How dare you try to take my kitten away from me?!” boomed the blobfish, “You'll pay for this!” The kitten fish placed her fin on her blob, “But Blobmaster249, you promised me not to harm anyone!” The blob shook his head, “Not now, my honey bunny boogie woogie sweetie pie. We'll discuss this later.” The Discord Blob looked into your eye… you feel a mixture of disgust and cringe. Why does it look like a deflated Squidward? Why does it even have a beard in the first place? And what, oh what, does that catfi- ahem, sorry, kitten fish see in this sad lump of blob? Your eye couldn't stand the ugly, repulsive, horrendous face of a blob before you anymore…

Defeated:

You lost [ 1 and a Half Heart ], [ Discord Blob ], [ Some Hair From The Shock ] (it fell in the water, unretrievable) and [ The Peaceful Moments You Once Had Before The Blob Encounter ] sorry not sorry, blobfish lovers

You gained [ 13 Seashells ] and [ 1 Seaweed ]

🌻 That's rough, buddy! That Discord Blob seemed to have more strength than the average blob, huh? Worry not! If you check your [ Inventory ], you can see that you have [ 1x Seaweed ]. If you eat one right now, you can gain half a heart back. But! If you gather [ 3x Seaweed ], you can create a [ Seaweed Salad ], eat it and gain two hearts back! 

🌻 You can also switch your rods to change difficulty if it gets hard for you, anytime, anywhere (Easy Mode offers a 50/50 chance of success). Besides, it's all about fun, am I right or am I left?

🌻 Once you have decided what mode you'd like to play on, pick a number to fish again. Who knows? Maybe you'll reel one in!

From d1tz to mod:

Heya mod! Thanks for understanding, really appreciate it! <33

Anyways, do you mind if you can put two numbers Curly would pick in future? I wanna prepare and speedrun some art in advance

I might also just stick to one final boss and remove the mini bosses, it pains me to do so but I gotta keep it simple rn <//3

Anyways, ciao! I gotta take a bath now, I hope the water isn't too cold... brr...

It’s no issue! I can hear you just fine.

This music’s nice. I’ve heard it before, haven’t I…?

I get the impression that this is referencing something but I’m not sure what. Must be pretty bad if I’m the one recoiling from its face. Hah!

…Whoops.

I lost hair? All right. Still got more than I have now! Hopefully I don’t keep losing hearts… Might have to switch modes if I do, haha. But for now I’ll stay where I am. Uh… I’ll pick 2 again. Gotta be better luck the second time, yeah?