#useless help

[spooksier]

ive made peace with most of my mental illness shit but i need whoever invented rejection sensitive dysphoria to be in hell no matter what

[tom4jc]

Psalm 60:11 Seeking God's Help

Give us help from trouble, for the help of man is useless. Psalm 60:11 Every person has times of trouble in which one needs help from someone else to make it. Finding that help that will actually help can be very difficult to impossible. While many people can sympathize with a person going through a difficult time, many are unable to really provide fulfilling help. Often the help provided will…

[kizzer55555]

DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

[0ccuria]

low approval/annoyed Halsin is so funny he's just

"I can NOT be assed to help you useless twats but FINE... I will anyway for FUCK'S sake"

[chubsette]

Someday could you give us tips to draw chubby bodies?

i once put together some tips on how I draw fat for a friend so i suppose i can share those right now :) just keep in mind that these might not help everyone and that i mostly don't know what i'm talking about. it's just how i personally draw idk

and i cannot reccomend the book morpho: fat and skin folds by Michael Lauricella enough. it's an amazing resource for learning and it really changed the way i understand fat as an artist

edit: excuse all the typos on the images fml

[nikoco11]

spider nico (spider bot…. sometime i call him circuit too) ((he’s like what if spiderman sucked ass))

[strongermonster]

one of the funniest news things in canada that always tickles me is the ongoing war between magic mushroom shops and the police.

this is the absolute height of humour to me right now

[hettolandija]

Misha at JIB 2010

[egophiliac]

on today's episode of "drawing things aimed specifically at myself, and then for some reason thinking it's a good idea to put them on the internet"...

-- (please do not reupload/dub/"remix"/etc., thanks!)

[regina-del-cielo]

Maybe it's a 'study finds water is wet' type of thought, but

considering it's an action movie whose overall plot is "immortal warriors Fuck Shit Up™️", I think it's significant that in The Old Guard the thing that makes Copley pull red strings through his Murder Conspiracy Board and say "[Merrick] doesn't care what [Andy]'s done with [her immortality]" is the people they save, not the ones they kill

Most of the Conspiracy Board is him circling random newspaper headlines and faces on old photographs to (more or less realistically) follow the immortals' treck through the world and big historical events. Which is, in-canon, not much different than putting portraits from different centuries next to a picture of Keanu Reeves and saying "they look the same, clearly Reeves is an immortal!"

But then there are the connections. A little girl holding Joe's hand in WW1 becoming the youngest (and first) woman to be awarded a Nobel Prize for Medicine (suck it, Kozak). Or the grandchild of a family that Andy saved from [something] helping people escape from the Khmer Rouge genocide in Cambodia.

They are warriors. They have fought and been in the midst of countless wars, major or minor, throughout history. They must have killed as many people as they saved... and yet.

It's not them taking out a random warlord or dictator or rabidly hateful politician that has tangible repercussions in history. It's the children and families they get out of war zones, save from accidents, protect from natural disasters. People to whom they give a second chance at life, and grow to change the world (or even just their own world), like a mysterious stranger once changed theirs just by holding out a hand or patching a wound.

I don't know I just think it's particularly neat

[nativehueofresolution]

this is the silliest post i've made in a while but. imagine a series of unfortunate events type au where louis and claudia move from city to city, and armand and his theater troupe follow them around like count olaf and his troupe. armand keeps doing different disguises and romancing louis under all of them and claudia has to keep uncovering him before louis marries him.

[iloveacronix]

SO MANY BBGS

Ough hes so fun to draw

[naffeclipse]

Hey, Naff! I was thinking of the AU where y/n is a dolphin mermaid and Sun, Moon and Eclipse run a mafia pod, and then I thought of the alternate scenario someone sent asking what would have happened if y/n had a kid with them, and then I had a thought! XD Not to contribute to the baby fever but!

What if the initial encounter went the same, y/n is chased, caught and forced to accept the deal of working for them, but in this scenario they are already expecting. Like super early pregnancy stage. Y/n does know about it, but it's so early that it's not outwardly visible or noticeable to anyone else.

And since that first encounter was so rough they are hesitant to ever mention it to the trio because they don't know how the mafia works and they are afraid either them or the future baby would be seen as a liability (unable to tell that's not actually the case). So they do the jobs they ask, while trying to hide it to the best of their ability. And thankfully for them (at least they think so), it's one of those pregnancies that doesn't really show until much later, but there comes a point where they can very much not hide it anymore.

But what if that point comes when there is a lull between jobs for them, and the trio of bosses is pretty busy, so they are left alone for a while and they are like "Great! Maybe I can have this baby unnoticed!" But then just as they approach the due date they are finally summoned back, but at this point they know they can't go to them. So when they don't respond to the call it causes for one (or all three) of the boys to get suspicious and come looking for them. And that's all I thought about gkjfhgkfh No idea what happens next XD

Chaotik, I'm rattling you so hard right now! It's a sweet little twist on dolphin Y/N dealing with the mafia sirens + baby, and I'm entirely here for it!

Continuing where you left off, I like to imagine that Sun and Moon are the ones to go look for Y/N.

They can't have one of their own go rogue, especially without consequences. They make no exceptions as they explained what would happen to those who aren't loyal, but Sun and Moon are especially sullen. Dolphin Y/N is all three of the bossess' favorite, and to have them try and think they can get away spears their pride (and hearts) when they've been so good to them. Of course, that's not to say they haven't taunted, teased, and grabbed Y/N mercilessly, as they have full rights to do within their territory and those under their protection, but they thought Y/N was growing closer with them in return. Regardless, they're on the hunt.

On the farthest northern edge of their territory, where it was confirmed that Y/N was summoned back but did not follow through on the command, they come upon a thick Arctic ice pack and towering, roaming glaciers. Sun catches sight of Y/N first. They're hiding behind a sizeable outcropping of ice, flukes flitting anxiously. Moon swims around to catch Y/N from behind should they decide swimming away is a possibility.

Y/N is panicking, doing their best to keep their now very visible pregnancy concealed while also pondering their fate. The due date is close but the ferocious bosses are upon them. How useless will the two orca sirens decide they are while carrying a child?

Sun calls out to Dolphin Y/N to come out before he has to make them, and though Y/N reluctantly answers, they still keep their belly hidden. Moon, however, sees them entirely from his position, baby bump and all. Caught off guard, Moon slips behind Y/N while Sun is still interrogating them, and he takes their arm and firmly but gently pulls them out into open water. Sun stops midsentence to stare at Y/N while they flounder internally, deeply unsettled by their reactions—or the lack thereof.

After Moon and Sun silently stare at Y/N and process the new situation, they share a sharp look. Sun asks where Y/N's mate is. Y/N says in a small but no uncertain voice that they have no mate. They intend to raise their baby alone. Both sirens seem to relax at this. Y/N begins to babble about being able to care for the baby and still perform their work but Sun and Moon have made a silent decision together. Sun softly takes Y/N's other arm to guide them back to the center of their territory, where they belong.

Of course, Sun and Moon now recall certain moments from the past few months, such as Y/N being especially skittish whenever they or Eclipse grabbed onto their hips or caressed their sides. Another siren under their pod commented on Y/Ne eating better for they're a little thicker around the middle, and Y/N quickly brushed aside the remark. Of course, Sun and Moon see now how much softer Y/N's face is and that their movements are slow and careful, not as slipstreamed as they were when the brothers first chased them down. They're a bit bewildered (and abashed) that they missed the signs.

Y/N is still panicking at how closely Sun and Moon guide them back into the heart of their territory before taking them to a sizeable ice cave, carved out by claws. Sun darts away once they pull Y/N inside. Moon asks Y/N more questions about their pregnancy: how are they feeling, do they need to eat, are they tired, do they know when they might have the baby, and so on. Y/N grows increasingly anxious by the grilling but answers truthfully. The due date is soon, very soon. That's why they couldn't answer the summons. Moon dismisses Y/N's stumbling overexplaining with a wave of his head. He's already pieced that bit together.

Then Eclipse arrives with Sun. His burning eyes immediately land on their big belly in plain view, and Moon tending closely to their side, his claws curled around their hand. Y/N finally asks what the bosses are going to do with them. They don't want any harm to come to their baby but Y/N is well aware that they can't fend off three orca sirens. (Eclipse remembers a time he noticed a slight swell to Y/N's belly but attributed that to providing well for their Dolphin Y/N after they've been so loyal and hard working in return.) Eclipse is silent for a long heartbeat before he flashes his teeth and chastises Y/N for not telling them earlier. They could have protected them more, allowed them to rest and stay closer to them, and given them less dangerous work.

Y/N stammers for a moment before falling silent. Did the terrifying eldest boss just say what they think he said? Sun leaves to retrieve a fish before Moon speaks low into Eclipse's ear. Sun returns and gives all his attention to Y/N while he ensures the fish he caught for them won't trigger any nausea. After Y/N says the fish is fine, Sun caresses their cheek once. Then, the twins disappear, leaving Y/N with Eclipse as he watches them eat. He explains that their child falls under the orca sirens' protection because he and his brothers already protect Y/N. They will see that Y/N is given whatever they need to rest and recover. Y/N is struck dumb, but the fish is delicious and they haven't been torn apart yet, so that can only be a good thing. Right?

Eclipse catches Y/N's chin in his hand, lifting their head to hold their gaze as he grins. It will be lovely to have a little one around, he says. Y/N believes he's sincere, still wrapping their head around how they started the day off terrified and somehow finished it with devotion and support from the three orca sirens.

[nelkcats]

Not everything is what it seems

When Young Justice found Superboy, the heroes began to think, were there other similar places? Were there more cloned heroes? How had it all started?

So they investigated, there wasn't much to salvage from the destroyed place but they managed to trace the plans of the cloning pods to an abandoned mansion in Wisconsin. It appeared to be normal at first glance, although no one had set foot there in a while, that was until they got to the basement.

The basement was a mess, one side was destroyed as if something had exploded, on the other side were notes, capsules and DNA samples, though these were clearly useless, if the files could be trusted. It appeared to be old research, all of this was addressed at the weekly League meeting.

The worst part of it all was learning that the sample did not belong to any of them; what might have seemed like relief turned into torture when they discovered the existence of a "hero" in the past, a young hero who had acted before them all, and about whom no one knew anything. Another concern was a possible clone of said hero on the loose, though they didn't know how to address either issue.

Bruce couldn't get out of his head the image of a scared kid, out there without any support, fighting an evil version of himself. The League's priority was to find that boy immediately, and see if his clone was still active. They had to do something about it.

Most of them ignored Captain Marvel's advice to leave the matter alone, as it had been a long time and they didn't know the current circumstances.

At Amity Park, Danny felt a chill, he had a bad feeling. He decided to ignore it as he continued to scold Dan and Dani for using their powers irresponsibly, he knew the citizens of Amity wouldn't care, but the rest of the world would. Danny feared the world wasn't ready for them.

It really was hard being a single parent, although it didn't bother him, after the initial awkwardness everyone had adjusted and were quite happy.

[swordsonnet]

self-proclaimed radical leftists: in the communist utopia that exists only in my head, everyone will work, by which i mean a full-time job in the post-industrial revolution sense. this is because work is obviously the only way one can contribute to society, and everyone who doesn't work is a parasite that will be eradicated in my Communist Utopia™. i don't even care about the products or purpose of people's labour because, as everyone knows, employment equals morality and so having a job is inherently virtuous and not having a job makes you a lazy leech who doesn't deserve to live. trust me, this is a very communist idea. i'm practically an expert because i read 1.5 tweets about marx.

what? omg why are you making this about disability, i was obviously talking about normal people 🙄 if you're disabled, you have an excuse to be a useless waste of resources who can't contribute anything 😊 in my ✨ Communist Utopia ✨, you don't have to work if you're not able to. don't worry, we'll have rigorous and dehumanising tests to determine if you're disabled enough or if you're just a lazy faker! this process is infallible and has no drawbacks whatsoever for disabled people. have you considered that maybe you're the real ableist for criticising me? 🤔 anyway, have i mentioned how much i love employment and also the taste of boot leather

[saessenach]

We're settled where we should be.

Bertha & George Russell in Never The New, episode 1 of The Gilded Age