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twistedtummies2 · 2 years

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Good & Evil - Anti-Villains

Welcome to Good & Evil: A Study of Heroes & Villains. I’m discussing different forms of heroic and villainous characters, different types of protagonists and antagonists, and providing examples of them each from various sources. Last time we discussed Anti-Heroes; today, we’ll be talking about their parallels, the Anti-Villains. Anti-Villains are arguably the most difficult characters so far to pin down. The reason is because they’re one of the most unbendable, and because, much like anti-heroes, they’re extremely easy to mistake for other types, and vice-versa. While Anti-Heroes can sometimes flip-flop between being protagonists and antagonists, Anti-Villains are nearly always antagonist figures. Specifically, Anti-Villains are described as antagonistic characters who take villainous actions, but have heroic traits, qualities, or methods. They aren’t sympathetic villains, whom you can understand and even agree with but are ultimately bad guys doing bad things, nor are they anti-heroes, but they are often mistook for one or the other. So, how does one tell the difference? Let’s examine a few examples to try and demonstrate.

Perhaps the quintessential Anti-Villain - one of the oldest, most classical, and most often referenced characters of the archetype - is Inspector Javert from Les Miserables. No matter whether you look at the book, the stage musical, the anime (yes, there is an anime for Les Mis, and it’s actually surprisingly good), or any of the other interpretations that have come about over the decades, Javert is pretty much always the main antagonist…but he’s not an out and out villain. In fact, when you really look at Javert and his actions, he’s ostensibly the good guy: his “evil deeds” in the book involve pursuing a wanted fugitive, stopping presumed assaults and halting attempted muggings, and trying to help his government in the destruction of a group of violent revolutionaries. He does not resort to questionable methods like torture or outright murder to achieve these goals, and, in point of fact, he abhors most common vices that people have, such as drinking, womanizing, and so forth. In any other story, Javert would be the Hero…so why is he here? Well, Javert suffers from a simple and fatal flaw: his black-and-white viewpoint on society and morality. In Javert’s mind, anything illegal is bad, and the people who do such things are bad: case closed, no gray area, nothing further to discuss. He also seems to be under the impression that people of wealth or power will naturally be in the right, while people of lower standing will usually be in the wrong. It’s because of these two misjudgments that Javert frequently turns out to be a terror for the rest of the cast: Valjean is a thief and a runaway, but he is also a good and saintly man. Fantine attacks a pimp out of self-defense, not with the specific intent to kill him or rob him. Enjolras and his allies aren’t out to destroy the country, but rebelling against what they perceive to be an unjust system. In short, Javert is only the bad guy because he opposes good people, not because he, himself, is a bad person. He’s simply an objectivist person who refuses to self-reflect or take a better look at the situation; indeed, as the story goes on, and his worldview becomes more shattered, Javert begins to go insane, unable to cope with the cracks in his own armor.

Les Mis, of course, has been made into one of the most prominent musicals of all time, and another piece of musical theatre - also based on a VERY dark book - presents us with another example: The Wizard in Wicked. Now, in Gregory Maguire’s book - on which the musical is rather loosely based - The Wizard of Oz is a Villain, plain and simple. He’s a fascist dictator, Hitler-like in character, with no redeeming qualities or good intentions whatsoever. In the musical, however, the Wizard - like many of the characters - is softened up, and while he’s still the main antagonist of the story, he’s ultimately not the pureblooded bad guy the book makes him out to be. In the musical, the Wizard is, in essence, the same character he was in the ORIGINAL Oz books and 1939 film, where he self-described himself as, and I quote, “a very good man, just a very bad wizard.” The Wizard is the root cause for much of the misery that befalls Elphaba and those she cares for most, but it’s ultimately revealed that his intentions are not evil, nor is he even TOTALLY the reason these things happen. The Wizard, you see, is not only powerless as a supposes sorcerer, but also as a political powerhouse: he is a mere figurehead, a tool of evil people who hold TRUE power in the country. What he wants is the same thing Elphaba wants - to make Oz happier and better - and, in a twisted kind of way, what he is doing achieves this goal. What sets them against each other is the fact their ideas of what would make Oz better, and how to get to that point, are completely at odds. The Wizard, much like Javert, is only the villain because of his ignorance, and because of the way his actions and philosophies clash with the main protagonists.

Sticking with musical theatre, “Hamilton” gives us SEVERAL antagonistic characters. Founding Father Thomas Jefferson, as portrayed in the play, is a fine example of an anti-villain. As both history and the show itself make clear, Jefferson has some beliefs and ideas for the country that are…ANTIQUATED, to say the least. He’s also something of a fop, a womanizer, and way too willing to forgive and accept the violence of the French Revolution overseas. HOWEVER, ultimately, Jefferson is never trying to do anything evil or malicious, and it must be pointed out that the protagonist - Alexander Hamilton - is far from a pure and good hero, himself. Both of them are men with flaws and men with good qualities; what makes Jefferson the antagonist, and seemingly the more wicked of the two, is once again the same thing that makes Javert and the Wizard the antagonists in their story: he opposes the main protagonist, plain and simple.

At this point, you’re probably thinking that simply opposing the main protagonist is all it takes for a character to be seen as the anti-villain. This is both true and untrue. We’ll leave the world of popular musicals for now, and look at a somewhat more obscure example: Jefferson, the Mad Hatter, from the TV series “Once Upon a Time.” In most of his appearances, Jefferson is an antagonistic presence, and he does do some unsavory things, such as kidnapping and theft. However, Jefferson does not do these things out of a desire to do deliberate harm, and it should be pointed out that he just as often proves to be on the side of the heroes, helping them out almost as much as he bothers them. The reason for this is because Jefferson, to be blunt, does not take sides. It’s revealed in this universe that Jefferson has lost his daughter, and the events that caused this have led to him becoming the Mad Hatter, driven insane by the separation and longing to be reunited with his precious little girl. Jefferson will do ANYTHING it takes to get her back, but he also won’t do anything beyond that: he’s not out to get revenge on people, he’s not out to get money or power, and once he gets his happy ending, he’s perfectly happy with fading into the background and settling down with his child. He has what he wanted, he never needed anything else. While Jefferson does some villainous things, he’s never PORTRAYED as the villain, but he never does anything good enough to warrant being classified as a more heroic type, either. An antagonist who does what he does with the best of intentions and the best of goals: that, in short, is an anti-villain.

I feel a bit bad that I didn’t include a female example in my previous entry (well...not one I talked about at great length, anyway). So, for a final example, let’s look at a marvelous example of a female anti-villain: Lady Eboshi from Studio Ghibli’s “Princess Mononoke.” Studio Ghibli and its creative masters are actually quite renowned for creating antagonistic characters that are not necessarily villains (though it should be added they’ve created some great actual villains, too). Lady Eboshi does some things in the story that one would argue are not especially heroic, such as trying to kill a God and causing mayhem in the forest. However, she doesn’t do any of this with specifically ill intent to harm, or even out of greed or other great vices. She’s just trying to do what she thinks is best for her people, and it’s her pride and her ambition that make her the bad guy of the story. Indeed, she has just as many admirable traits as nasty ones, and her people respect and look up to her. She’s a good person at heart, she’s just ultimately misguided. “Misguided.” That, I think, is the keyword that defines most anti-villains. They are not “misunderstood,” mind you; that’s a different archetype. However, they are, ultimately, “misguided.” They are characters who want what they think is best not only for themselves, but usually for others, sometimes even MANY others. They aren’t driven by evil desires, such as vengeance, or a hunger for power, but by the simple desire to do what they think HAS to be done. It’s that steadfast belief that what they are doing needs to happen, for some greater good, that turns them into the bad guy of whatever story they are in. The best way to describe them by saying this: anti-heroes are the villains in other characters’ stories, and sympathetic villains, of course, are the antagonists by default. But Anti-Villains are characters who, in another story, would probably be seen as the Flawed Hero: they have their issues and problems, but they ultimately want something good. The only reason they aren’t is because the way they seek to achieve that desire goes too far against the grain. Anti-Villains, in essence, represent the opposite problem from Anti-Heroes: while the latter group of characters tells us that sometimes extreme measures are necessary to make things better, Anti-Villains warn us to make sure that any drastic measures we DO take are for the right reasons.

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torao-chan · 1 year

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one person was interested!!! that’s all i need lmfao ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

thinking about a possible welcome home oc. they’re a multi jointed doll rather than a full puppet, and often are manipulated via strings rather than an internal hand.

thinking of maybe this as a design?

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1944831

a cold blue for their skin for the detached distance they keep between their heart and the reality they refuse to acknowledge. but warmer clothes to fit in with the town as a cheery appearance. very air headed, and often messy.

-x-x-x-

a neighbor from out of town, Renaldo was often seen skating around the neighborhood with his head in the clouds- and often his eyes in the sky, too.

Renaldo is a forgetful and bumbling friend, but nonjudgmental and relaxed in nature. sometimes too relaxed, in the opinion of some of his neighbors. happy to spend all his day just skating laps through Home freely and without a thought in his mind. [he's an out-of-town-er, however, and neither Home nor Renaldo can ever forget that. no matter how hard they may try.]

Renaldo is best known for his theme of not looking. this was often used in educational skits for children on basic safety and care in various areas

Renaldo would come skating out into the street and crash into someone → became a learning skit for looking both ways before crossing the road, and other basic look-ahead-before-acting situations

"what you don't know can't hurt you." → a common phrase of Renaldo's, was key in a skit where Renaldo was feeling very bad, and didn't know why, and was determined not to look closer. with Wally as his guide, Renaldo explored the various negative emotions the neighborhood's residents felt, and how they dealt with them. trying to solve Renaldo's feeling as they went. in the end, Renaldo's negative feeling wasn't discovered, but Renaldo declared that he felt better anyway- because he now knew how to help his friends when they were feeling down, instead. [the emotion was paranoia. too complex for a kids show, and based entirely on the unreality surrounding him. Wally couldn't help him. I know I couldn't.]

Renaldo regularly ran late, despite owning one of the three clocks in Home.

Renaldo never looked at it [but never forgot he had it] and was often the butt of the joke by arriving after an event had already started- or even after it had finished. Renaldo could regularly be caught eating breakfast at lunch, lunch at dinner [but never dinner at midnight]- and this would prompt the reminder "a meal eaten late is better than no meal at all!" [often followed with a chiming "and brush your teeth after!" as well.]

Renaldo also appeared in other skits as a side character a lot. Renaldo was often a comic relief, or a companion in a silly escapade, or whatever was needed of him in the day. the doll was well known for being a bit of a yes man and enabler.

there was only one other skit that featured Renaldo regularly- one that required other character to monologue a lot, as they self-discovered their emotions and how they dealt with them [or didn’t] and what they should do to do better. Renaldo was a constant character in these skits, but didn’t play a huge role in them other than prompting them with questions to direct their discovery, or by validating their emotions. Renaldo often validated emotions, but would disagree with characters when they tried to say that their reactions were valid too- this was one of the few times where Renaldo acknowledge what wasn’t easily seen. “just because you understand where you’re coming from, doesn’t mean you know how others will see it.”

this contrast against Renaldo’s usual themes is unusual, and never explained, and only appeared in a sparing few episodes of the show.

name: renaldo “ruler’s council” to match wally “ruler of the army”

[Renaldo acts as a very good council to anyone trying to cope with emotions, as he’s very familiar with the methods of suppressing and ignoring his emotions- and when, in turn, that’s no longer feasible. he didn’t want others to end up like him. I can understand that all too well.]

gender: trans / enby --> he/him with the occasional they/them

-x-x-x-

also possible sunglasses for not-looking motif?

#my ocs #personal

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nicolaisenwarming66 · 3 months

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#ull #Temporary Phone Number

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smartlearnsolutions678 · 1 year

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AI's Role in Supporting Students with Special Needs: Enhancing Education and Empowering Abilities

Introduction

Artificial Intelligence (AI) has revolutionized various sectors, and education is no exception. One area where AI has showcased immense potential is in supporting students with special needs. By leveraging the power of AI, educators, researchers, and developers have developed innovative tools and technologies that enhance the learning experience and empower students with special needs. This article explores the significant role AI plays in supporting these students, highlighting its benefits and potential applications.

1. Personalized Learning

One of the most significant advantages of AI in special education is its ability to provide personalized learning experiences. AI-powered systems can analyze a student's individual learning profile, taking into account their strengths, weaknesses, and specific needs. By gathering data from various sources such as assessments, performance records, and adaptive learning platforms, AI algorithms can generate tailored content, adaptive exercises, and targeted interventions. This personalized approach helps students with special needs access appropriate educational resources and progress at their own pace.

2. Intelligent Tutoring Systems

AI-driven intelligent tutoring systems have gained prominence in special education. These systems incorporate natural language processing, machine learning, and data analytics to provide personalized instruction and feedback. Intelligent tutoring systems can adapt their teaching methods based on individual student responses, identify areas of difficulty, and provide additional support or explanations as needed. This real-time feedback enhances engagement, motivation, and comprehension for students with special needs, fostering a supportive learning environment.

3. Speech and Language Assistance

AI-powered speech and language technologies have proven to be invaluable tools for students with speech impairments, language disorders, or communication difficulties. Speech recognition algorithms can interpret spoken language, aiding students who struggle with verbal expression. Natural language processing capabilities enable AI assistants to understand and respond to students' questions, allowing them to access information and engage in interactive conversations. Such technologies facilitate communication, language development, and social interaction for students with special needs.

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AI tools can also assist in addressing emotional and behavioral challenges faced by students with special needs. Emotional recognition algorithms can analyze facial expressions, tone of voice, and other physiological signals to detect and interpret emotions. This data can then be used to provide personalized interventions, such as suggesting coping strategies or recommending calming exercises. Chatbots and virtual agents equipped with AI capabilities can engage in conversations, offering empathy, encouragement, and support to students, particularly those with social or emotional difficulties.

Conclusion

AI has emerged as a powerful ally in the field of special education, transforming the way students with special needs learn and interact with the world. By leveraging AI's capabilities, educators can provide personalized instruction, adaptive learning environments, and assistive technologies tailored to individual requirements. AI's role in supporting students with special needs extends beyond academic development, empowering them to overcome barriers, enhance their abilities, and actively participate in educational pursuits. As AI continues to evolve, it holds immense potential to create an inclusive and equitable education system that meets the diverse needs of all learners.

#education #tranforming education #artificial intelligence #ai

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jansenbreen7 · 2 years

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The Best Apps To Solve Captcha In Your WordPress Blog

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#captcha AI

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chalkrevelations · 2 years

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Well, it’s been so long, do I even remember how to do this? Back, with Bad Buddy Ep 2, Part 1/4 - but first! Before we see anything, we’re going to get a disclaimer telling us these characters are fictional and do things for entertainment purposes and aren’t intended to promote any particular behavior, which I guess means DON’T BE GAY AND DON’T DO CRIME? Or are we double fisting at the bar in this ep, I can’t remember offhand? At any rate, I find this hilarious every time it shows up before an ep starts. Don’t fall in forever love with the kid next door whose family is the mortal enemy of your family! Don’t follow him to summer camp to prove your love! Don’t write songs just for him! Just in case you were planning on any of that! We disapprove!

Anyway, previously, Pat and Pran fight; Pat’s little sister Pa calls them soulmates – cat out of the bag or foreshadowing? You decide - Engineering tries to kick the shit out of Wai only to discover oops, too bad for them, they’ve cornered Pran instead; Pran discovers that he’s still super turned on by Pat, or at least by Pat manhandling him up against a wall (I know, my friend, I KNOW. Up-against-a-wall trope, MY BELOVED); Pran is extremely chagrined by this particular voyage of self-discovery; Pat and Pran come up with a dumb plan and then add each other to their contacts list. Which is actually a LOT for a single, introductory episode. I have to give them props for getting that much in.

This time, we open on their morning routines in their dorm rooms, with the chance that provides for a ton of character work as we see Pran bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, thriving in his perfectly regimented morning with nothing out of place: Up out of bed as soon as his alarm clock goes off, making his bed, primping after a shower, drying his hair. He’s in an eerily good mood. I don’t trust morning people, jsyk. By contrast, Pat spends this entire time in his own room sprawled in bed, still snoring and clutching Nong Nao, who’s making the first of his many appearances. Pran’s practically dressed by the time Pat’s alarm – what turns out to be a preliminary alarm, set on his phone – even goes off, whereupon Pat hits snooze and continues to sleep like any reasonable person does, PRAN. We can see what maybe looks like a chess board on one of Pat’s end tables, which I don’t know is ever important, but is a nice little characterization detail I’ve filed away (in case I ever write Bad Buddy fic that’s not about my beloved Waikorn trashfires). Pran moves on to cooking breakfast, and there’s the greatest little moment here that tells us SO MUCH about him – this guy won’t even touch his own food while he’s preparing it. Not only does he use tongs to pull the toast out of the toaster, he pins his gd breakfast sandwich down with the tongs in one hand while he cuts it in half with a knife in the other hand. He won’t touch the food – and I don’t know if that’s about keeping his food clean or about not getting his hands messy - until he actually picks up half of the sandwich to eat it. My dude. You have got to unclench. You’re not going to survive Pat, otherwise. Cut to Pat’s actual alarm clock going off. We know enough about him by now to know that this doesn’t mean he’s actually getting up, right? Cut back to Pran, now doing the dishes, and I can’t with you, my guy. It’s kind of funny but it’s also NOT, because I can only imagine how much all of this perfect routine is a result of how incredibly neurotic you are about being the perfect son because of your particular flavor of fucked-up home life. Also, we can see Pran’s got a ton of post-it notes above the sink and on the fridge. Do remember that, we’ll get back to it. Cut to Pat finally waking up and a mad dash to get ready. At 8:15 am, Pran slings on his messenger bag as Pat is scrambling to finish getting dressed and getting his shit together (lit. and fig.). They both go to open their doors at the same time. WAIT FOR IT. Pran has to go back for what I think are his headphones? Also, who’s that guy in the picture on his nightstand? Anyway, Pat’s out the door and has disappeared down the hall just as Pran comes out of his own door and – OMG SURPRISE - they live directly across from each other in the dorm! Maybe they’ll paint a line down the middle of the hallway! (Spoiler alert: They will NOT paint a line down the middle of the hallway, because in contrast to the trashcan scene in Ep 1 when Pat was very conscious about everyone staying on their sides of the line, now that he’s had one chance to put Pran up against a wall, he is going to forget any concept of private or personal space.) Cue opening credits.

So, this is the first day of the second of Pat and Pran’s Ridiculous Plans, where they’re going to try to keep all of their secondary backup hobbits from crossing paths and throwing down. Engineering is headed to lunch, and Korn wants curry because he’s heard there are hot chicks at a particular curry restaurant. Chang literally slaps him upside the head and berates him for being a sexist pig; sadly, we’ll discover Chang’s concern for womankind does not extend to the unknown chick across the hall that his bro will develop a crush on, leading to some sexual harassment from Engineering in a later scene. ANYWAY. Pat texts Pran to warn him about Engineering’s plans but of course Architecture is already at that very restaurant. Pat has to convince Korn to go to a noodle shop instead, which he tries to do by making up a lie on the spot that he’s read reviews saying the chicks are even hotter at the noodle shop (when I think about how that could possibly be a reasonable restaurant review, I remember HOW GLAD I am that I’m past college and nod my head and make a little “mm. yeah.” sound). Pat actually seals the deal by promising that lunch will be on him, and Engineering is off to the noodle shop, crisis averted. Cue montage of wacky hijinks set to jaunty music as Pat and Pran continue to divert Engineering and Architecture from each other, including an absolutely priceless scene in which Engineering is lined up at the urinals in a bathroom and Pran comes wandering out of a stall, only to be waylaid and shoved back into the stall by Pat, who leans him backward in the already characteristic pose: one hand over his mouth, the other up in a “shhh” gesture. Pran – COMPLETELY REASONABLY, this time – wants to know if Pat has washed his hands, whereupon Pat sniffs his fingers and shrugs. I’m with Pran on this one. Bathroom hijinks have never interested me, because GROSS, and Pran’s FACE matches mine at this point before he chases Pat out of the stall. All this culminates in an encounter at the bus stop, when Engineering rolls on up as Architecture is already standing around there. Pran’s face says what the ACTUAL fuck are you doing here? Pat’s face says I couldn’t help it, what could I do? Wai notices Pran’s face and looks around to see what’s got him so upset, whereupon Korn – once again, let’s be clear – starts instigating, joking with Chang to check for an alarm, in case it goes off and some people, i.e., Architecture, run away like scared puppies. I’ll point out that everyone beat it last episode when the fire alarm went off, because you’d be a dumbass not to. Anyway, Chang plays straight man to Korn’s bullshit – not for the last time – and there’s some mocking barking at Architecture. Pran’s face as he witnesses the breakdown of Ridiculous Plan No. 2 right in front of his salad is something to behold. Wai (no, stop. don’t do it, my dude!) takes the bait, because 1) of course he does and 2) he and Korn always seem to be the flashpoint for these confrontations. Words are exchanged, Korn starts peeling off his windbreaker (:snort:), and is all, you wanna’ go? Wai does, in fact, wanna’ go. There’s the beginning of a scuffle, but then the single braincell of the whole operation (yes, that would be Pran) pulls a story out of thin air about how the bus stop shelter was built together by Engineering and Architecture students, and it’s supposed to be a place of truce. Which. OK. This is interesting. Because it’s a lie. Right now. But it’s also foreshadowing. Pran is pulling this story out of his ass, but … it’s going to become truth. The bus stop will be (re)built by Architecture and Engineering together. It will (eventually) become a place of truce. Because apparently, what Pran decides he wants, he can speak into existence, he just doesn’t KNOW THAT YET. (Also, the universe’s method for making the thing happen that Pran wants to happen – whatever it is - is going to be, of course, Pat. Who may not have been put on Earth specifically to fulfill Pran’s every wish but is going to end up devoting himself to that nevertheless, because it turns out, that’s what he wants to do with his life.) Anyway, for now, Pat listens to this story and is like, … riiiight. Oh yeah, right. He just thought Architecture didn’t know the story. Pran says, so, we’re all just going to go our separate ways and leave each other alone (on every possible level), right? Pat’s all, sure, whatever you say. Everyone else goes to their separate corners. Pat wants to know if the story was true, and Pran internally despairs, practically calls him a dumbass to his face, and points out the security camera that would have recorded a fight. Remember that, we’ll definitely get back to it.

With that resolved, we move on to the set-up for our next major plot point, which is Pran in his room, having dinner delivered, along with a text from Pat asking if he’s back at the dorm yet. Pran wants to know, what are you, my boyfriend? And now you’ve done it, dumbass, because you don’t even realize yet your power to speak things into existence, nor do you realize that Pat is the universe’s way of getting that done. Pat jokes that the only thing left for them to do is sleep in the same bed, and there’s no foreshadowing there, nuh-uh. Give it an ep and a half, my guy, and you’re going to be practically married already. Anyway, Pran pulls out his chicken (and I have to tell you, there are NOT enough delivery places in the US that will bring you an entire boneless fried chicken breast, although that’s probably a good thing for my arteries), plus – apparently – a surprise complimentary salad. Which turns out to not be complimentary, it should have gone to the customer across the hall, which the delivery guy calls to tell Pran. Too late, Pran already ate it. This leads to our first awkwardly visible product placement, of some kind of bottled tea product, which Pran leaves in a bag on the doorknob across the hallway along with a post-it note saying, haha, I accidentally ate your salad (:facepalm:), how about tradesies? Turns out Pat was on the phone with the delivery guy when Pran knocked, which is apparently why he didn’t answer the door like a normal person? So, Pat continues this comedy of errors by coming out to discover the drinks after Pran is already back inside his own room, and from there Pat convinces himself for some unknown reason that the hot chick who clearly lives across the hall clearly has a crush on him. He doesn’t go over and knock to introduce himself, he just retreats back into his own room to spin out this fantasy for himself. Pa, who visits him at what I think is a later time, scoffs at him, gives him some good-natured sibling verbal abuse to keep him humble, and predicts that it will end up with Pat doing the chasing, proving that Pa knows her big brother way better than he knows himself, because Pran leaves for class – the next day? at some later point in time? - to find a small box of some food-ish treat hanging on his own doorknob with a thank-you note. He looks weirdly baffled as he stands in the middle of the hallway mentally buffering before he apparently realizes where it probably came from, despite the fact that he technically initiated the whole interaction. And scene.

Up next: Pat and Pran get a surprise on the roof.

#pat #pran #a metric fuckton of family dysfunction #without even seeing the families onscreen #continuing college friends dysfunction #wai #korn #a trashfire gremlin and his windbreaker(s)#chang #various other characters with questionable coping methods #i.e. everyone on the show #and #pa #who is precious and perfect #and has done nothing wrong ever in her life #fight me #bad buddy #bad buddy episode reax

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naynay5155 · 3 years

Text

C!Tommy’s Storyline With C!Dream Is A Very Concerning Depiction Of Abuse

Wild Title

Okay, I’m sure that this probably isn’t too new information for anyone paying attention to the overall story of the DreamSMP, especially C!Tommy’s storyline, but I figured I’d give my two cents for this anyways.

C!Tommy is an Abuse Victim who has gone through horrific stuff at the hands of C!Dream. This is not an arguable fact. regardless of if C!Dream had reasons for doing what he did, if C!Dream also later gets abused, or if ultimately the abuse portrayal could be considered in some ways flawed or unrealistic, that stuff doesn’t ultimately matter. Because we’ve seen what happened to C!Tommy during Exile, have seen the physical, emotional, and mental abuse he was put through. Just because they won’t call it Abuse doesn’t mean it isn’t Abuse.

Now, C!Tommy being an abuse victim is an interesting idea from a storytelling perspective. It has a lot of potential to lead to genuine character development, or to affect relationships and story beats in interesting ways. And it could be an interesting way to really say something about abuse and coping with it.

And to an extent, an argument could be made that it has, though I’d argue the exact way those are handled in canon, but not the point. The point is, abuse is not just something that you get to gloss over. If you want to include themes of abuse in the story, a story you are making available to the public for millions to see, then there needs to be a clear and obvious message being portrayed with including abuse in the story. Preferably, that abuse is bad, and can have majorly negative effects on anyone, especially children. We don’t always get that lucky, but whatever.

But, from my months of watching the story of the DreamSMP, and trust me I’ve been here a long while, I haven’t seen C!Tommy’s abuse being handled very... well. I could, of course, be wrong in some aspects, and maybe be misremembering stuff since this dumpster fire has been happening for a year now, and feel free to correct me or bring up more points if you know something I don’t. But, I still think that overall, I have a point of view that should be considered.

So basically, C!Tommy is an abuse victim, right? this is easy to see, very obvious in the way he acts and behaves. Or... is it?

Abuse is a complex topic and one that, in real life, presents itself in all sorts of forms. Many abuse victims were raised in unloving homes and ended up becoming more vulnerable to abuse later on in life as a result of that. Others never properly learned how to express emotions or turn people down and got taken advantage of. Others were abused from the start, and develop various ways of coping and dealing with that, even ways that they might not be fully conscious of themselves. Abuse is not a one-way street, it could hardly be considered a street at all given how diverse and differing the people who experience it end up developing into are.

So I’m not saying that, if C!Tommy were a real person, that he isn’t “Being traumatized enough” or that “Why isn’t he more like what I expect him to be like?”. That is not what I’m saying at all.

What I am saying, is that C!Tommy is a fictional character who exists within a narrative, a story. And in a good story, consistency is half the battle. I, as the audience consuming the story, need to be able to look at C!Tommy and pick up on and understand the effects abuse has had on him. And these effects need to be consistent, otherwise, as an audience member, I’m going to get confused and start having questions about why he acts one way here but doesn’t somewhere else.

I also need to be able to clearly see and understand, by being given narrative stepping stones, if something is changing for his character.

As the saying goes, “Show don’t tell”. C!Tommy can’t just say he “Goes to Puffy for Therapy” offhandedly one time, as a means of handwaving away why he doesn’t really consistently act as traumatized as he used to even though it’s literally only been a few weeks, or months at most. To explain how he can jump back between being really sad and depressed about something, to joking about Women and Twitter. It seems weird if he’s able to just so seamlessly, so effortlessly, go back and forth. Almost as if he’s bouncing between OOC and IC, but that’s a whole other discussion.

Sure, C!Tommy is representing real mental health issues, but he is, ultimately a Fictional Character existing in a story. I need to be given signs, proof, foreshadowing, to explain when he has certain reactions and behaviours in order to understand his character. And these need to be consistent, otherwise we get plotholes and general confusion.

I criticize the inconsistency and the offscreen handwaving because it’s generally not very good writing. It’s the same reason I disliked Eret’s basically off-screen-sort-of-redemption-arc. It’s the same reason people dislike it when Villains of previous seasons suddenly come back as fully reformed good guys for seemingly no reason. There is no arc, no development, no progress is shown to us.

Because when you’re telling a story about a character having some major change or developing in some way, or having an important character trait, if I don’t see it on screen, then it didn’t happen. How am I supposed to root for C!Tommy’s progress, or understand what he’s doing to progress, if a never see his coping mechanisms? His therapy appointments?

You can’t just say something, or inconsistently portray something, and expect me to jump through hoops to connect these nearly transparent dots that keep getting thrown around.

Show don’t tell. Show me Tommy getting better, because otherwise you’re just telling me he made character development, and showing me this completely different character as proof. No, last I remembered C!Tommy was having panic attacks and yelling when C!Dream was even mentioned. You can’t tell me that a day later he can interact normally after days of being in the prison and a month of being dead.

Or, if you are gonna have him flip flop back and forth, don’t have it be so sudden and jarring, give an explanation. Is he faking being fine? Does he have memory issues? C!Tommy doesn’t read to me as the type who’s good at suppressing his emotions, he wears his heart on his sleeve. So you’re going to have to explain, clearly, in a way that isn’t ambiguous, what’s happening with C!Tommy here.

You’re not really saying anything about the abuse C!Tommy goes through, if all of that trauma is automatically wiped from the story when the writers get too lazy or too scared to keep it in. At best, you are showing abuse and trauma for the sole purpose of showing it, with no intention of properly dealing with and addressing it in the story. At worst, you are basically just doing torture porn.

Pain, Hurt, Trauma for the sake of it. Not with any goal in mind. Just for the drama of it, or to hurt the audience.

And then your audience is just supposed to take that content in uncritically, and they gain no true understanding of how abuse victims survive and cope after their traumatic treatment.

Exile Arc sure did a good job at making C!Tommy suffer. But as soon as that arc ended, a lot of the stuff that happened in it went completely glossed over and unaddressed for a long while. That might have been fine in the lead-up to Doomsday, since a lot of plot stuff had been going on and stopping to handle C!Tommy’s issues might (Might is heavily doubted cause it certainly isn’t impossible) mess with the pacing a bit. But then after Doomsday, there isn’t really any excuse to put it off. Because nothing was really happening for a good while, and nobody had anything to do plotwise.

And this became even more true with C!Dream being locked in Prison. Nothing was really happening, so what was stopping the story from taking the time to properly discuss and deal with this stuff?

Well, nothing really. So, the Hotel Arc happened. And oh boy, was it a mess.

So, C!Tommy being angry at C!Dream for the abuse and trauma he has suffered at Dream’s hand isn’t an issue. It’s an incredibly common thing for victims to feel angry at their abusers, and to even go so far as to wish for vengeance against them in some way. And that’s a totally valid and fine feeling.

You’re hurting, you’re scared, you’re in pain. I get that. When we’re hurting, we don’t always act rationally or healthily.

But, ultimately, that rage, and hurt, and want for vengeance is not a healthy thing to hold onto. In many circumstances with an abuse victim wanting to inflict pain back on their abuser, we run into various problems.

For one, getting vengeance on your abuser is quite frequently going to give you more emotional pain than it will fulfilment. Especially if you are young, or are letting this want for vengeance take over your entire livelihood. It does you no good ultimately, to attempt to bring pain to the person who hurt you, because not only will you often be unsuccessful, you frequently won’t find emotional healing and stability in that.

(The only exception to this rule being if ignoring them or moving on from them isn’t an option for you right now.)

Actions have consequences, and if you invest more time in that person who hurt you, then you have no time to work on yourself or the relationships around you. You have no time to heal, and this can become self-destructive.

Spending time around an abuser, as a victim, is in all likelihood just going to upset you more. You’re retraumatizing yourself by spending time around them, and as you make attempts to give them their comeuppance, you could possibly end up internalizing the methods they used on you, and just end up perpetuating the cycle of abuse again.

And even if you have no problem with doing that to this particular person, consider how fully internalizing these abusive behaviours could affect your friends or family. Frequently, even when they don’t mean to, abuse victims can internalize the things that they went through and then use those same behaviours against people in their life later on. Being shitty to your support system because of what you went through isn’t a good move, for you or them.

Basically just, an Abuse Victim has more to gain from working on themselves while finding ways to heal and overcome their trauma and abuse, than they do spending their time and energy on the abuser. Its frequently unhealthy, distressing, and self-destructive to indulge in that too much.

(Of course, I don’t speak for everyone, but from what iIve looked into and seen, this is the healthiest method of actually healing from your abuse. That doesn’t mean you just... leave your abuser alone and never address or talk about what they did, you don’t let them get away with it, of course not. It just means you don’t waste your mental well being and time obsessing over someone, especially someone who has hurt you so much.

You deserve better than that. You deserve to heal.)

Now, let’s get back to C!Tommy.

C!Tommy, instead of finding a proper means of coping with his issues (proper therapy, diagnosis for his issues, forming and maintaining healthy support systems, focusing on things he loves, etc) is shown to repeatedly focus back on C!Dream. When he was making Big Innit Hotel, it did seem like he was to an extent finding ways to cope with his shit. He was still kinda shitty and his hotel was not exactly made and run by the most morally great standards, though I suppose I can’t expect too much when he is a very traumatized teen and doesn’t really know what he’s doing.

But, ultimately, this all fell apart when he got locked in Pandora’s Vault with C!Dream. Arguably, it was already falling apart the moment he decided to keep pursuing C!Dream even when he was locked up.

See, the thing is, C!Tommy can never just… have trauma. Having trauma that he can healthily and methodically work through is something that for him as a Character, is basically impossible. His character is an angry one, one built on spite and childishness, and who holds the mantle, unfortunately, of “Spunky Male Protagonist In A YA Novel”. So, his mental health issues can never just be a struggle he has to cope with, especially not when the DreamSMP can never seem to have anything between “A lot is happening right now omg” or “Literally nothing is happening and nobody is playing on the server at all omg”.

Instead, his issues have to be seen as a battle, and they fuel the narrative of the story. Him having been abused by C!Dream cannot just exist as a thing that he as a person has to work through slowly with the help of others around him. It has to be seen as this Epic Triumph Against Evil, another battle of Tommyinnit VS Dream on the DreamSMP, a classic Villain versus Hero fight.

This, of course, isn’t too great. By C!Tommy’s abuse plotline being framed in this manner, it makes it so that C!Tommy is constantly obsessing over his abuser and recklessly throwing himself into dangerous and triggering situations is some attempt at an “Epic Battle With Evil”, rather than this being treated like the self-harm it actually is. And yes, it is self-harm, a form of it.

C!Tommy uses his trauma and issues as fuel for the story, making it so that its impossible for him to truly progress and a character, and the moment he does start growing, he has to get retraumatized again so he goes right back to where he was.

C!Tommy does not become a better person when he’s around C!Dream, nor does he find any form of fulfilment in being around him. He gets shaky and panicky at just the sight of him. He regularly has violent and explosive outbursts at just the mention of him. When C!Dream talks to him, he gets nervous and basically can’t help but listen due to conditioning he still listens to.

When C!Tommy went to go visit C!Dream the first time in Pandora’s Vault, he brought with him stacks of TnT. He did it because he wanted to mimic what C!Dream had done to him in Exile, where he would take all of C!Tommy’s newly gained items and blow them up underground for dramatic effect.

C!Dream did this for control over C!Tommy, to manipulate him, for his suffering.

And C!Tommy wanted to do this to C!Dream, because he was feeling vindictive.

When C!Tommy got into the prison, he mocked C!Dream, hit him repeatedly, and tried to boss him around. He made him write ridiculous books and verbally berated the man. He did this in a feeble attempt to gain some feeling of control over C!Dream. This, evidently, did not work. At best his success was momentary. And this sense of achievement he gained was gained through projecting his abuse trauma onto someone else.

He repeated the cycle.

After he got brought back from the dead and let out of the prison, he was much much worse. C!Tommy was now paranoid, anxious, constantly thinking about C!Dream, and had his mindset solely on getting revenge on him, by killing him.

It got so bad, he ended up doing lacklustre “Exposure Therapy” to help himself not panic when he went into Pandora’s Vault to kill C!Dream. It got so bad he dragged C!Tubbo and C!Ranboo into this, putting them in danger and putting more pressure on another two teenagers’ shoulders.

It got so bad, that Ghostbur died, C!Sam closed off even more, and C!Wilbur came back.

Objectively, C!Tommy leaving C!Dream alone would be the better thing for everyone. And yet he keeps repeating the cycle. Because C!Tommy is not meant to grow, learn and heal. He is made to suffer.

The problem is not so much showing an unhealthy depiction of a mentally ill or traumatized person. Because trauma and mental illness and the effects of abuse are not always pretty, and they shouldn’t always have to be portrayed and pretty or sympathetic to be accurate.

It becomes a problem when you get this depiction of C!Tommy’s coping being presented uncritically to an audience of a lot of underaged and young people.

Nobody in canon, whether they be adults or fellow teens, has ever tried to question C!Tommy’s methods for coping. C!Ranboo and C!Tubbo just limply went along with his plans for Exposure Therapy with no consideration of if this was a good idea. No adults really offer to genuinely step in and help C!Tommy deal with his shit, and the ones that do leave him or get corrupted in some way, often leaving him with more trauma as they do.

C!Puffy’s therapy methods are dubious at best, and the most we ever see of her actually helping C!Tommy is her humouring his toxic behaviours, and C!Tommy making offhanded mentions to vague therapists appointments we never see.

C!Technoblade stopped giving a shit as soon as C!Tommy walked off the screen. C!Wilbur was dead, and now that he isn’t he certainly isn’t helping C!Tommy. C!Phil isn’t C!Tommy’s dad and has no obligation to do anything for him as a result. C!Ranboo has the backbone of a chocolate eclair. C!Tubbo is too busy repressing his own trauma to help C!Tommy with his. C!Sam is being ruled by the prison and C!Quackity. C!Quackity has become an Ancap.

Nobody in this story is a reliable or trusted person to C!Tommy, who could properly tell him his methods are unhealthy and give him better alternatives. And as a result, nobody is able to tell the audience that C!Tommy is wrong

Unreliable Narrators are only effective when the narrative in some way has their unreliableness pointed out or proven to the audience. If you go into a story with the assumption that everybody watching will be able to see past C!Tommy’s POV and not take him at face value, then you are naive. Especially when this fandom is made up of many teens and children.

I only know C!Tommy’s methods are unhealthy because I care way too much and do my research. A vast majority of the world doesn’t have the same understanding and education on these topics, especially not children and teenagers. A good chunk of people, especially neurodivergent and mentally ill people, could very well take the story at face value and automatically assume that what Tommy’s doing is actually a good coping mechanism because they don’t know any better.

There is no clarification or safety net for preventing misinterpretation. And being of the opinion that “Well, they should know better than to trust a bunch of Minecraft Youtubers for this stuff” or “We can’t expect them to be psychologists! You expect too much” is just… not helping.

Because I shouldn’t have to explain why children and teenagers, especially those that are using these people to cope, are not always going to make level-headed and common-sense decisions. They will be influenced by these Content Creators, whether we think it’s “Stupid” or not.

And I can say with certainty that, while yes, this might be a bit much to expect from a bunch of British/American white guys who play Minecraft to handle, may I also point out that nobody fucking made them put this stuff in the story. There are ways to write a story without stepping outside of your realm of true understanding. Nobody begged these MCYTs to go and make torture porn for a 16 year old, nobody asked them to touch on topics they have no fucking clue about.

They put that in themselves. And we have the right to point out the problems and flaws in it, and criticize them for not handling this stuff better.

You don’t start applying for a job you don’t meet the requirements for. You don’t start an expensive project you can’t finish.

You don’t include elements in a story you aren’t willing to fully go through with and address in a proper and sensitive way.

#hope this makes sense #dreamsmp roleplay #dream smp critical #dreamsmp #dream smp #character analysis #c!tommy #c!dream #tw abuse discussion #tw abuse #negativity #dsmp critical #critical dsmp

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idreamofplaid · 3 years

Text

Finding Destiny

Square Filled: Plus Size for @spnkinkbingo & Late Presentation for @spnabobingo

Characters: alpha!Sam x omega!Reader; Madame Tremaine (OFC)

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Y/N always felt like an Omega. Life told her otherwise, until tonight.

Word Count: 3027

Created for @spnkinkbingo & @spnabobingo

You smelled like a garden had exploded on you, a garden with some miscellaneous spices and nature smells. Truth was, you smelled like a mess, but you’d been desperate. Living as a Beta was like being invisible.

You were convinced it didn’t help that your body wasn’t fashion model thin, or thin at all for that matter, instead having generous soft curves in your breasts, hips, and thighs. You had spent the last ten years watching Alphas and Omegas pair up, claim each other, shower each other with their love, devotion, and commitment. It had left you feeling more and more lonely, and food was your coping mechanism. The result of that was more pounds added to a body you already thought was too large.

Meanwhile, with each passing year, you felt more and more like life was passing you by. You, too, wanted to be claimed. There were no Alpha tendencies in your makeup; you were sure you were an Omega. You longed to be cherished, protected, filled with pups. Your untapped maternal instincts were strong, and you wanted to have a mate, be a mate. The Beta lifestyle wasn’t yours, so how had you been born into it?

Initially, when your heat didn’t come. You were confused, followed by disappointed, then discouraged, and finally resigned. Periodically, throughout all these reactions, you were devastated. The devastation overtook you when you least expected it, and then mercifully would leave again so you could function and pretend to be a happy Beta. Had it stayed with you constantly, no doubt you would have fallen into a deep depression.

It was that unwanted and sometimes paralyzing sense of hopelessness which always returned due to your Beta status that had sent you to the establishment owned by Madame Tremaine. It was rumored that she could bring on a reluctant onset of the first heat. That’s what you were once again trying to convince yourself this was, abandoning your previous period of accepting your fate. That’s all it was, a delay. Your body just needed some encouragement, a little push to get your hormones in motion. That first heat was going to happen; it was just slow.

So, it was in that frame of mind that you entered her herb shop at the end of a narrow street in an unfashionable part of the city. Wooden shelves lined the walls, filled with glass jars of various sizes that contained materials of every description. Dried flowers hung from low hanging rafters, and a display case that was filled with what appeared to be rocks and gemstones ran the length of one wall.

The bell over the door had tinkled when you entered the shop, summoning Madame Tremaine from the rear room of the shop. She pushed aside a beaded curtain that hung in the doorway leading to the back. She sized you up, her eyes traveling over you from head to toe. You were wearing a full skirt and a peasant style blouse. It was a cute outfit, but you still felt inadequate and self conscious about your size. For a moment, you felt a little pathetic because you’d come here seeking her help at changing what nature, God, the universe, or whatever had decided should be your lot in life.

She was, of course, sleek and dressed all in form fitting black pants and a black shirt that emphasized her long, graceful arms and fingers. She had adorned those arms and fingers with turquoise rings and silver bangles, while large silver hoops hung from her ears. You were thinking of turning around and walking right back out when she said, “What brings you to see me tonight?”

You were determined not to stutter in spite of your nervousness. You could at least pretend to have a fraction of the confidence this woman so clearly possessed. “I’ve heard you can help Omegas with the onset of their first heat.”

She looked at you again. “How old are you?” You hesitated, not wanting to answer her question. You definitely should have left. This was so embarrassing. She lifted her chin and gave a wave of her hand, causing her bracelets to jingle. “Never mind. I’m sure I have what you need. It’s just a matter of finding the right combination of smells that compose your scent. Your body will then react with them and produce the scent on its own, triggering your first heat.”

For the next two hours, she had experimented on you with her herbs, flowers, and ground spices. She began with the flowers, explaining to you, “Very often an Omega’s scent includes a floral note. We only need to find the right one, then move on to the other elements.” It wasn’t tuberose, jasmine, violet, magnolia, or plumeria. She tried at least seven others before giving up on the flowers.

She moved to a particular row of jars with purpose. “Perhaps we should try something sweet instead.” The next round of fragrances she applied to your skin consisted of honey, vanilla, chocolate, coconut, sugar, and caramel. She was beginning to look a little perplexed, making you feel like a failure all over again. Not only were you unable to find a mate, now this wasn’t working either; but you needed it too. You felt like this was your last chance.

“How do you know it isn’t working, Madame?” You had absentmindedly grabbed your skirt and started to twist the fabric.

“Because I’m an Alpha; I could smell it if you were producing your own scent.” Of course she was an Alpha, all the confidence. Her tone had been a little sharper than she had intended. You were, after all, a paying customer. She shouldn’t let her frustration show. Madame softened her voice and tried a different approach. Perhaps you are a more rare type of Omega without the usual sweet or flowery smell. Let’s give something else a try.”

Next she went for a smaller set of jars that contained spices and pulled some tiny stone chips that were near a larger blue stone from the display case. First, she used a mortar and pestle to grind the stone chips then added some rosemary to the bowl, grinding it up as well, and finally sprinkling in some almond oil to bind it together. Your curiosity got the better of you and made you brave enough to ask, “Why did you add stones? They don’t smell.”

“Ah, but they do; it is just very subtle,” she answered, “and sometimes just the catalyst that is needed to activate the chemical process that will result in you producing your own scent.” She applied this mixture to the inside of your wrist. Still, the result was nothing. After that, she went through the motions of trying a few more things, but you knew with each passing minute this had been a huge waste of your hard earned money.

You left her store and practically slinked to your car, wanting nothing more than to get home to your favorite robe and a glass of red wine. When you closed the door with a heavy thud, your eyes landed on the gas gauge. Dammit. It was almost on empty. You wouldn’t make it home without stopping for gas. Perfect. There would be one more humiliation before this night was through. Gas stations in this part of town didn’t tend to carry out transactions through the pay at the pump method.

Perhaps your tendency to be invisible would play in your favor this time you thought as you pushed on the metal bar to open the glass door leading into the gas station. Your last shred of hope at maintaining your dignity had been destroyed when you’d pulled up to the pump and found a sign attached to it just as you’d expected. Pay Before You Pump. Now you had to go into this store smelling like a cheap whorehouse.

You made your way to the counter as quickly as you could, hoping to just put down your money, dash back outside again, get your gas, and go. You mumbled $30 on pump 3 and reached for your purse. That’s when you heard it, a voice that was just the right amount of deep and smoother than the honey back at Madame Tremaine’s shop. “Where are your apples?”

The guy behind the counter looked up reluctantly from his handheld video game. “We don’t have any. Sold the last of them this morning.” He turned his attention back to his game, and you turned to see who had spoken. What kind of face went with that voice?

The answer was the kind of face you saw on magazine covers and movie screens. The man with the sexy voice tried with the clerk again. “But I smell…” Then the gorgeous hazel eyes in that handsome face caught yours, and he tilted his head causing his golden brown hair to fall over his forehead. “It’s you.” His eyes narrowed a little.

Then something happened that had never occurred in your life. You were overcome by the smells of mahogany, champagne, and leather. The smell washed through you, entering every cell in your body, causing slick to pool in your panties, and your knees to go weak. You were beginning to sink to the floor.

The kid behind the counter finally put down his video game. “Lady, are you okay?” He was a Beta. He couldn’t smell any of what was happening two feet from him.

The mysterious Alpha caught you. He held you up while he put two twenties down on the counter. “For her gas.” He helped you out to your car, got you seated inside, then filled your tank. He walked back to you when he was done and leaned down to put his hand on your shoulder. The smell was overwhelming now. It was heady, more than if you’d drunk the champagne instead of just smelling it.

The Alpha kneeled in front of you. That magnificent voice had softened when he spoke to you. “I don’t think you should drive. I’m going to call my brother to come get my car, and then I’ll drive you home.”

Your head was feeling too light to argue, and there was a twinge of feeling bordering on pain starting between your legs. You nodded. “Okay.” Just like that. You trusted him, trusted him completely. It felt right what he was doing, taking care of you.

You closed your eyes and leaned your head back against the headrest. His voice sounded farther away, and you caught snippets of his conversation as you attempted to navigate all the emotional and physical feelings of your first heat. “Dean, i need you to come get the car.” Dean must be his brother. You missed the next part and then, “I’ll explain it all later. Just trust me. It’s never been more important.”

He returned to you and used that same soft tone he’d had with you before. “C’mon, let’s get you home. He lifted you like you weighed nothing more than a feather and carried you around to the passenger’s side of the car. He settled you in the seat and walked back around to take his place behind the wheel. Then, he turned to you. “I’m Sam.” His eyes focused on yours again. “And you’re my Omega.”

You gave him directions to your house, and when you got there he carried you inside, across the threshold just like you were a bride. “Where’s your bedroom?” It didn’t seem at all strange to have this man you’d just met in your house, or to be giving him directions to your bedroom. You wanted him there. The idea of him leaving scared you a little bit.

Sam put you down on your bed, and that fear bubbled up in your heart. You reached for him. “Don’t leave.”

He took your hand. “I wasn’t going to leave. Just go outside the room so you can change for bed. Your smell is so strong. All I can smell is you. It’s going to bring on my rut. So, I should probably put some distance between us. But I’m going to stay. Make sure you’re okay.”

You squeezed his hand. “I’m not. I’m not okay. I need you. This is so…” A huge gush of slick ran down your thighs. You cried out. “Sam, please. I don’t know what’s happening.”

A look of concern shadowed his gray green hazel eyes. “Your heats haven’t been like this before?”

You had a nearly vise like grip on his hand now; it was starting to hurt, and you grabbed his forearm with your other hand. “I’ve never had a heat before. This is the first one.”

It took a couple of seconds for Sam to comprehend what you’d just said. Then a fierce, protective gentleness filled his eyes; he didn’t let go of your hand until he was on the bed with you, then he took you in his arms. “I’ve got you, my Omega. It’s gonna be okay. I’m here. I won’t leave you.”

“It hurts, Sam. Why does it hurt?” This wasn’t what you had imagined it would be like to be an Omega. They’re had been no one in your life to explain it to you, and you were sure the books you’d read must be exaggerating.

Sam stroked your hair, trying to soothe you. “It hurts because you need an Alpha. Your body wants to be knotted. You need an Alpha’s knot.”

You held onto him tightly. “Will that make it stop?”

Sam whispered, “Yeah, that will make it stop.” He kept running his fingers through your hair, and then he growled. His hand stilled; his body was shaking with the effort to control himself.

His growling and shaking surprised you, and you jumped. “Sam, what is it? What’s wrong?”

He doubled his efforts to steady himself and stopped his shaking. “My body needs you too.” His voice was much more gruff than it had been before.

You raised your hand to sink your fingers into his hair, just as his were buried in yours. “Make it stop, Sam. Make it stop for both of us.”

While he was taking off your clothes, it didn’t occur to you once to feel self conscious about your lack of a flat stomach, the fullness of your thighs, or any of the other parts of your body you considered to be an imperfection. He kissed each and every one of them, while telling you how perfect you were. Your Alpha made you feel beautiful.

The touch of his hands was so gentle, even while you could feel the heat radiating off his skin. When his lips first touched yours, it was like when the match meet the candle wick, and the flame sparks to life. Sam kissed you for a long time, causing you to produce more slick, getting you ready for him.

When at last he broke the kiss, you looked into those eyes with the ability to change color; you saw into him, found that deep place where no one but his Omega would ever be allowed to go. “Were we meant to be together, Sam?”

He brushed his knuckles across your cheek. “Yeah, that’s how it works.” His eyes held yours, “I’ve been waiting for you so long.” The smell of leather was stronger now. It signaled the depth of the lust he was feeling, mixed with the more tender emotions.

You put your hand over his where it was still resting against your face. “It’s okay, Sam. I’m ready. Take me. Make me yours.”

Sam put his hands on the inside of your thighs and opened your legs. His eyes never left yours as he entered you slowly. The stretch pushed you to the limits of what you could take, and you knew it was nothing compared to what was to come when he gave you his knot.

He moved inside you with a gentle rhythm that heightened your passion and your need for him. When you started to roll your hips in time with the movements he was making, Sam reached between your bodies and started to rub your clit. He gave you exactly what you needed, and an intense orgasm came crashing through you.

While your body was still in the spasms of its release, Sam’s knot began to swell. “Yes, Alpha, yes. Please.”

Sam took you in his arms and rolled you to your side to face him while his knot continued to swell. He covered your face with soft kisses. “Are you okay?”

You clung to him, still afraid you might somehow lose him even though his body was firmly attached to yours. “Yes. This is what I’ve always wanted. You. I wanted you. I just couldn’t find you.” Tears started to slide down your cheeks. Everything about this night was overwhelming.

Sam wiped away your tears, kissed your temple, and whispered in your ear, “Shh. i’m here. I’ve got you now, my sweet Omega.”

You buried your face in his neck. The smell of the leather was receding now, blending back in with the mahogany and champagne. “Are you sure I’m your Omega, Sam? I mean I know I must not look like the other Omegas you’ve been with.”

He held you closer to him. “Yes, I’m sure.” You felt a fresh wave of his seed pumping into your womb. Sam put his fingers under your chin and tilted your face up to look at him. “You are more beautiful than any woman I’ve ever seen.”

You smiled, and a different kind of tears filled your eyes. This time they didn’t fall. You felt secure. You felt wanted, and you felt claimed even though he hadn’t yet put his mark on you. He would though. You knew it. Sam would claim you, mark you, and you would be proud for everyone to see it.

Sam brushed his thumb over your chin just below your lip. “What are you thinking, my Omega?”

You nodded just enough to kiss his thumb that was beneath your lips. “I’m thinking you were worth the wait.”

Everything: @gambitwinchester @princessmisery666 @onethirstyunicorn @peridottea91 @logical-princey @emilyshurley @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @fangirlxwritesx67 @waywardbaby @atc74 @ledzeppelinsbonzo @shaniquacynthia @mariekoukie6661 @tumbler-tidbits @67-chevy-baby @fandom-princess-forevermore @terrarium-jpeg @emoryhemsworth @crashdevlin @heycasbutt @jules-1999 @mrsdeannafuckingwinchester @cosicas-cuquis @sammyimpala-67 @queenoftheunderdark @dean-winchesters-bacon @mrs-meghan-winchester @timelordy-fangirl2 @sweetness47 @hobby27 @awesomesusiebstuff @kickingitwithkirk @sandlee44 @supernaturalgrandma @lonewolf471 @dawnie1988 @volleyballer519 @outcastedangel @kdfrqqg @lizette50 @sorenmarie87 @winchesterxfamilybusiness

Sam/Jared: @girl-next-door-writes @stunudo @feelmyroarrrr @idabbleincrazy @evansrogerskitten @focusonspn @autumninavonlea @spnxbsessed @durinsbride @deansyahtzee @waywardnerd67 @fullmooner

#spnkinkbingo #spnabobingo #alpha!sam #omega!reader #sam fluff #sam smut #alpha!sam x omega!reader #spn abo

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mxgilray · 3 years

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Loki Season 1 Thoughts

Overall, I really liked this series. It has some issues without question, but I sincerely don't think it's the dumpster fire so many viewers on this site treat it as. Did it go how I expected? Not at all? Did I enjoy the heck out of it and look forward to it every Wednesday? Hell yeah!

Loki's Good Guy Personality

A big complaint many have had with it is how much Loki's demeanor has changed and how his emotional growth feels rushed or his personality is ooc. Truth is, he saw his entire future, saw what his angry, power hungry, I-work-alone persona would get him in the end, and it snapped him back to reality. He has always been shown to be quite emotional and craving attention and lacking in self assurance, it's just in the past movies he's masked it with violence and fake narcissism, and he's always been a secondary character so his perspective is rarely shown. But if you really pay attention it's obvious he isn't truly villainous; we all know that, it's largely why he has such a huge fan base.

Right after meeting Mobius, Loki got an infodump of his future, saw his parents both die, found out that free will means jack shit, and learned he's absolutely powerless in this realm. On top of that, this is 2012 Loki, fresh off of being under Thanos' control, suddenly being shown that the guy who controlled him is going to end up killing him. Frankly,, I think it all broke Loki. He was too shook up by it all and by the sheer helplessness he found himself in at the TVA that he let all his barriers down momentarily. Just long enough for him to open up to Mobius about his motivation and his lack of self confidence. And you know what I bet? Loki felt relieved after talking to Mobius. A weight was lifted, because he bore his heart to someone and wasn't rejected or laughed at or treated like a psycho. And after letting his walls down fully, Loki didn't feel the need to put all of them back up. He stayed guarded around other people, but he didn't need to pretend around Mobius. Mobius has seen under the mask, so Loki doesn't feel pressure to perform as an all knowing, all powerful God around Mobius. That freedom is life changing.

People who gravitate towards broken, pseudo-villain characters do so because we relate to their internal conflict, their mental illness, their need to fake it around everyone close to them. Their turmoil and depression and self destructive behavior are familiar and we see ourselves reflected in their actions. Now, when a person really truly let's their guard down, drops all their layers of facade, and embraces themself, they tend to change demeanor and even personality pretty drastically. It's jarring in real life, so of course when it happens to a fictional character who you usually relate to it is going to be jarring, maybe even more so because it feels like a change you yourself would never go through. I know this sounds bad and people might get at me for it, but...

I believe the issue here is that a large part of Loki's fan base doesn't want him to get better. They don't want him to move past his mental illness, to learn how to cope with anger and disappointment in healthier ways, to be happy. They like his damaged persona, they like the internal conflict. Maybe it's because they're still at that low place themself and feel like a relatable character is getting taken away from them, maybe it's because they don't understand how much being at peace with yourself can alter a person and to them it feels like he's been changed too much. To those of us mostly on the up and up from battling depression and mental illness, it's comforting to see Loki getting a chance to be genuinely happy and accepting of himself.

Sylki and Lokius

First things first, I'm not anti anything. Ship what you want, idc. Personally, I do not see the Sylki dynamic as romantic, but I get why people read it that way. I thought the series did a good job of showing unrequited love, namely Loki falling for Sylvie and Sylvie feeling zero romance towards him. This was aware of his attraction and in the end used it as a distraction so she could get the upper hand. The show played up the potential romance because we are viewing things from Loki's perspective and he's become smitten as a kitten. I do think in the long run they'll have a more sibling-like dynamic, one Loki realizes that you can feel extreme love and care for a person without it being romantic. I enjoyed how the show explored their relationship, though I do wish they hadn't had every character under the sun mention their moment on Lamentis-1 like it was some big deal to bond with someone you're about to die with.

I'm bitter towards the development of Lokius. It had a strong start in the beginning, and in ep 5 had some potential reignited, but then they had Mobius not know who Loki is at the end. I'm still hoping they're playing the long game with this ship and that it'll come to fruition partway through season 2. The chemistry is there, and Mobius knows Loki very intimately and isn't put off by his past. Loki also feels much more at ease around Mobius than he does around Sylvie. It's the comfort of a deep loving bond with Mobius verses the nervousness of a new crush that he feels for Sylvie.

I don't think Loki is quite aware of his feelings for Mobius, simply because it's based in friendship and mutual respect and isn't a hot and heavy lust. Plus, as soon as he was away from Mobius he was thrown into a near death experience with Sylvie and developed a surface crush during their heart to heart. Since Loki's still figuring out what genuine feelings are beyond anger and sadness, he sees the simplistic crush he has on Sylvie as love and the intimate bond he's been forming with Mobius as friendship. He doesn't understand his own feelings yet, but I think he'll figure it out next season. I mean, he was probably already rethinking his feelings for her after she kissed and betrayed him, mentally kicking himself for expecting her to not pull a Loki betrayal like he would've in the past.

The Time Variance Authority

I really like the concept of the TVA, the structure of it, the methods they use, the deeply fucked way they recruit employees, the cult like motto, shady Miss Minutes who is definitely playing her own long game, and the blind acceptance TVA agents have of the Time Keepers' will. It's all very well done... until your dig into the core, aka He Who Remains. They built up the idea that the Time Keepers created the TVA to prevent a multiverse war and that they created agents to enforce their will. Then the creating agents turned out to be fake, the Time Keepers were fake, I expected the reason for the TVA's existence to be fake to. It felt too simple to have it genuinely exist just to keep the multiverse in check. Why the anonymity, unless it's to keep from having agents target and prune versions of himself which.. songs like a decent solution. HWR made it sound as though the multiverse war was just a bunch of versions of himself screwing shit up, so why isn't the TVA's focus on eradicating every other variant of this guy? Sounds a lot easier and nicer than fucking with the free will of every other living being. So either Marvel made a bad call when choosing what HWR's motive was for creating the TVA, or he was lying about it all to cover up something sinister.

Overall Storyline

I'm fairly happy with the plot as a whole. There were some pacing issues and I think a few missed chances for deeper conversations between various characters. While I enjoyed the Loki variants, I honestly would've been happier seeing Tom playing most the variants (except Kid Loki and Classic Loki since they are clearly different age ranges). If there is supposed to be one sacred timeline, it seems off to me that Lokis would be allowed to vary so extremely without it causing a nexus event(an alligator, whose nexus wasn't that he's an animal who obviously can't do any magic much less command Thanos' army, but that he ate someone's cat) and not just in appearance but in life path (ie boastful Loki collected all the infinity stones but it wasn't till he had 6 that he caused a nexus event even though him gaining control of the Soul, Power, and Time stones should've each caused nexus events since on the sacred timeline he never interacts with those 3 and taking any one of them would've fucked up a lot of other timeline parts)

I love the display of Lokis raw power, and 2012 Loki coming to the realization that he's way more powerful than he ever thought. And it wasn't just Classic Loki who spent thousands of years alone honing his skills, 2012 Loki reversed time on a goddamn falling building! I also liked the small magic, the fireworks, the tablecloth blanket, Loki yanking Sylvie away from HWR with just magic.

As someone who is both bisexual and genderfluid, I would've really loved more concrete representation. The comment about there never being another female Loki hit me in the gut; it undermined the Easter egg "Sex: Fluid" on Loki's TVA file. With how big a deal Sylvie being female was made out to be throughout the season, I expected her gender to play a key role in taking down the head of the TVA, like it was foretold that only a female Loki could end it all or some shit.

I don't mind the idea of Loki finding love in a straight passing relationship. I don't even mind the selfcest all that much. It just feels so obvious to me that Sylvie is written as not having any romantic inclination towards Loki, while Mobius is clearly written as falling in love with someone he shouldn't and trying to maintain an heir of professionalism to keep from wrecking his bond with Loki. I really really hope they come through on season 2 and give Lokius the canon relationship and proper representation they deserve.

Mmkay I thinks that's all the thoughts I've got right now. If you've been feeling cheated or clowned by how things went this season, maybe my perspective of things can help ease your pain.

#loki spoilers #loki series #loki #mobius m mobius #sylvie laufeydottir #lokius #sylki #tva loki #time variance authority #marvel #mcu

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wisteria-lodge · 3 years

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lion primary + badger secondary (bird model)

ie A HOUSE MATCH !!

Hellooo, I’m sorry for bothering you but I’ve found this blog and I absolutely love your character analysis and overall thought about the SHC system, and I could use some help?

I’ve known the system for a while now, since the old SHC tumblr times, and while understanding my current primary situation has been quite easy, I’m having A LOT of trouble with my secondary and it’s becoming a bit of a issue for me because the more I think about it, the more confused I become, to the point where it’s upsetting me a bit.

First thing first, my Primary is a very “standard” Lion, the whole “you feel if something is right or not and if you do something that’s not right to you you feel bad/ill/it’s wrong” is extremely me. I had some doubts about a Badger model, but I think it’s just that my personal ideals and values align a lot with a Badger worldview, since I grew in a very Badger society and family (very leftist, a lot of emphasis on equality and valuing and creating communities). Reading various description/interpretations of primary Lion always feels right, while reading primary Badger always makes me think “yeah, this is all good and nice, BUT…” so this was quite easy to sort out (no pun intended).

Are you me? So far... I could have written this. It’s possible I *might* be biased going forward.

When it comes to secondaries, I see a lot of myself in Bird descriptions: I make spreadsheets for everything.

Pretty Bird.

I am a crafter with an apparently endless supply of books and tutorials and supplies ready, and the enthusiasm to share them.

That sounds more Badger.

I am the mom friend

Badger.

who always has what’s needed in their bag.

Bird.

I am that one person you can count on knowing a funny or interesting anecdote about almost any topic, from the mundane to the truly obscure. Learning new things, about any topic, is literally one of my biggest pleasures in life.

Bird [model?] Whichever one isn’t your secondary is a model you clearly love.

I take pride in all these things, but I honestly have trouble understanding if I like using them as tools because they help me with my ADHD and so I received a very strong positive enforcement using them and I kept the ones I like, or if I started doing them because they are what I like doing and coincidentally they help me managing my symptoms or better navigate the world in my day to day life.

Could be either, but modeling Bird because you’re neurodivergent is very much a thing.

Also, while I love planning, when it comes to making decisions I tend to gather all information and summarize it in a way that makes sense to me so I can visualize the issue in my mind as complete and detailed as possible, but the final decision tends to feel a bit… impulsive, to me?, there’s always A LOT of gut feeling involved, and when I don’t follow it usually it ends up being a wrong or subpar decision. I do need to gather all the available information about the issue/situation/item/people, but rather than making my decision by comparison, I use the information to make sure that I’m “seeing” the truth (or as close to it as it is possible) and then once I feel safe that I’m not overlooking anything important I just KNOW what is the correct decision.

That’s a Lion primary making a call.

Could this simply be a very strong primary interfering with the decision-making, even when it’s not about ideals but more mundane things?

Decision making is always a primary thing. Mundane stuff included. Mundane stuff is important.

On the other hand, I am an extremely hard working person (I am changing jobs right now because I feel like my old bosses are making more and more difficult for me to just do my job properly and without needing to cut corners, and it just feels wrong to me).

Oh good lord. I am ready to sort you as a Badger secondary solely on the basis of THAT.

People tell me I’m a very good listener and that I am especially good at helping others unravel their thoughts when they’re all confused and tangled because I ask the right questions. I seem to gain other people’s trust easily and often I get told gossip or secrets before others.

Badger. Also DAMN but that’s relatable. I think you might house-match me.

I got told several times by previous bosses that I should look into becoming a team leader because people like me and I make them get along better.

Sounds like a Lion/Badger combo.

People get attached to me very quickly and when I have problems the stream of folks asking if they can help or just checking in is always way more than I expect.

Isn’t it weird how that happens?

This all sounds like Badger stuff, from the descriptions I read, but many of them are not things I actively enjoy doing, I just.. do them because it would be weird to do otherwise? Or it feels like they happen to me with no effort on my part.

Because they’re just you. It’s just who you are.

I think they might be simply a result of me growing up in a society that values hard work and being kind to others, or just me being a likeable person

Not everyone finds this easy. Not even close. I have read so many testimonials written by people in Badger secondary households killing themselves trying to fit into this model. Wanting isn’t enough. Having examples around you isn’t enough.

or maybe coping mechanisms I had to learn in order to “pass” as neurotypical but as I wrote the more think and read about Birds and Badgers and their differences, the more I get confused and frustrated.

Now I know I’m projecting, but all my neurotypical coping mechanisms come out of the Bird secondary toolbox.

But it would make sense since I burned out badly in my teens from trying to always try to be perfect for my family, my friends, my teachers, society

That sounds like a young Badger secondary, more than a young Bird secondary.

and when I finally found who I really wanted to be I resolved to never let anyone define what or how I should be ever again (hello there, Lion primary!)

I hear that.

After a lifetime of beating myself up for not living up to the absurdly high expectations I set up for myself, I have decided that the only way to stay sane for me is to do the groundwork, be as prepared as I can

Bird

put in the work I should

Badger

but once I’m in the thick of it just… ride the wave. And now I got to the point where I have the confidence that I am smart enough to learn the basics of a new skill on the fly, if needed.

To me, this is so fundamentally, so spiritually Badger secondary. You don’t have tools. You are a tool. You made yourself into one. And that moment where you can just trust yourself to catch the world, absorb it into yourself, and become whatever it needs you to be... it’s ecstasy.

I’d say that lack of time is my worst enemy, but due/thanks to the ADHD that’s not true most of the time, since lack of time is what enables me to get past the executive dysfunction in the first place, so I’ll say I have a love-hate relationship with it. Doing things just before a deadline is it’s own kind of high, after all (I’m not saying it’s healthy).

At the base of your soul, you’re not really a Bird prepper/planner.

A practical example: I usually don’t like platforming games much, but I am LOVING Immortals: Fenyx Rising because in most situations, there is a “best” way to do things but you can also get creative by using different skills, using specific items, finding loopholes, or a combination of all of them.

Sounds like a Bird secondary having fun. [a fun model?]

When I fail a level/combat I don’t get frustrated because I know that I just have to try a few more times until I find the solution that feels right FOR ME, even if it’s not the most efficient ones. And when I do it feels great, even if I look a at guide afterwards and there’s a waaay easier solution! I usually feel a bit silly for not “seeing it” but also think something like “well, I think MY way is more fun!”

Oh yeah, a Bird secondary would not have that reaction. That is the sacred Badger consistency of method. How you do something matters equally as much as the final product.

When I cook, I usually find a recipe I like and try it as written, then I make small adjustments to improve it, see how it turns out, and so on until I have a recipe that is MY recipe, one I really like and that I know well enough to use as a basis to be changed if needed, knowing exactly how the change will affect the end result. I think this is why I prefer baking to other kinds of cooking, since it’s much more akin to chemistry I feel like I have more control over what a change will do.

On it’s own this could be a description of rapid-fire Bird. And you clearly have Bird, you have a lot of it. You love it.

So I guess that what really matters to me is being able to do things my way so that I can enjoy the process and live up to my standards instead of external ones?

But then you say something like this... it’s about the process... it’s about the method... it’s about something coming up to your own personal standards. And that’s so Badger.

This ended up being very lengthy… I’ve tried shortening it but English isn’t my first language and I was afraid I might come across not clearly.

Your English is perfect, and insanely clear. You’re clearer than I am.

Thank you again for the blog, I especially like your DS9 characters’ analysis and I am low-key hoping for more :)

I’m particularly proud of those ones. I’d love to do more, but before that I would have to go back and re-watch the show, or at least key character episodes. I’m not going to sort from memory. That would be doing a show I love, and a number of extremely complex characters a disservice. And it wouldn’t be nearly as fun.

(it’s that whole Badger integrity-of-method thing, you know how it goes.)

#sortinghatchats #sortme #wisteria sorts #lion primary #badger secondary #bird model #my lion badger #adhd #submission

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madd-information · 3 years

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Have you watched Kati Morton's new video about Maladaptive Daydreaming? What do you think about it?

[intro]

For years, I believed maladaptive daydreaming to be a form of dissociation, but it could also be added to the DSM as its own diagnosis, since it does have its own set of unique symptoms. Either way, at this time maladaptive daydreaming is not listed in the DSM as a diagnosable mental illness.

I was concerned because her last couple videos on the topic were very confusing to watch and seemed to conflate MD with the inner-worlds of DID. It looks like she has done some more research on it and is going to make a more informed video. This is great and I deeply appreciate that she’s taking the time to do a proper dive into this.

The closest diagnosis would be DPDR, or depersonalization derealization disorder. And this is the diagnosis given to those of us who struggle with dissociation. [explanation of DPDR]

Gonna need you to source that Katie, I’ve never heard an MD researcher say something like this. When they talk about MD they call it a behavioral addiction with OCD features which is related to dissociative absorption (different from derealization and depersonalization, these two dissociative experiences are not particularly significant in MD, though they can happen.)

These experiences are extremely common. It's estimated that half of all adults have had at least one episode of DPDR. 50% of people. That is a huge amount of people.

Cool but not sure it’s at all relevant to the video topic.

Also, it's important to mention that in 2016, four researchers put together the Maladaptive Daydreaming Scale, or MDS. This is a 14-item self-reported scale, meaning that you as the patient answers 14 questions based on your own maladaptive daydreaming experience.

It’s a 16 item scale now, it was changed very early on and has been 16 for years. This is a very small and forgivable knitpick, just fyi.

The MDS focuses on the content of our daydreams, how intense the urge to continue daydreaming is, and how much it impairs our ability to function in our lives, and the benefits and costs of our daydreaming. I am not personally familiar with this scale, nor have I used it in my practice, but I've linked the research article in the description if you wanna learn more about it.

A good description, and here’s that link again for anyone who wants to read about the finer details of this scale.

When it comes to maladaptive daydreaming, it isn't just feeling out of body or environment. We can create very intense and detailed daydreams with plots, characters, and very lifelike issues and storylines. Some people will get the plots for their daydreams from their real lives, while others can create a utopian place unlike their current experience.

Yep, decent overview of content, though content doesn’t matter that much. Also, use of “we”. Is Katie Morton an MDer or was this a creative choice? I don’t know, just a passing thought.

We can find ourselves staying in these daydreams for various amounts of time. And some of my patients have reported staying in them for hours. And many of you have let me know that you struggle to get out of them at all, spending days in this other life that we've created.

Yep, good overview, but more importantly she’s listening to her patients and the feedback of MDers in her audience.

...there are many causes for this, and the first I wanna address is trauma triggers. If we've experienced a trauma in our life, things that remind us of that time or situation can pull us into a flashback, cause us to dissociate, or in many cases push us into our maladaptive daydreams.

When our brain and the rest of our nervous system feels overwhelmed and unable to deal with what's going on in the moment, it can pull us out of our current situation through dissociation. I always talk about that, like our brain pulling the ripcord. And it can also utilize maladaptive daydreaming. It's a way to cope or get through an overwhelming situation when we don't have other skills to help calm our nervous system down. So we just rely on what we know, and that can be daydreaming or dissociating. It's almost like this coping skill protects us from having to feel traumatized again and so it takes us away, you know, drops us into a much safer and happier place.

Trauma is always talked about first when people do overviews of MD. She’s not wrong but just to add more information; about a quarter of MDers report trauma, the other 75(ish)% don’t. It’s a significant number but trauma is not the only pathway to MD. Sometimes people walk away from these videos feeling like “well, I don’t have any trauma, maybe I don’t really have MD”. That’s not a comment on what Katie has presented, she does go into other things below, just adding on.

Another cause or trigger can be high levels of stress or anxiety. We can slowly feel ourselves become more and more overwhelmed until our brain pulls us out of our reality and into a new one, aka our maladaptive daydreams. In short, we can want to stay in these daydreams to feel better and safer, but it can get in the way of us functioning in our life.

Yep

[audience anecdotes]

...Which is why even the term maladaptive daydreaming is used. Maladaptive means it's not providing adequate or appropriate adjustment to the environment or situation. So the daydreaming is only holding off the bad things. It's not actually making anything better or helping us process any of the upset. It's really just a temporary check-out, which can be helpful sometimes, but if it's happening all the time or making it hard for us to focus at work, school, or with our friends and family, we should find other, better ways to cope.

Exactly.

Which moves us into how we can better cope so that we don't get sucked into our daydreams for hours, days, or even weeks. And first up is mindfulness. Now, I know that term is overused now and super annoying but in order for us to know when we even need to use other coping skills, we have to know when the daydreaming urges are happening. So often we aren't aware of what we were feeling or thinking until it's too late and we're already pulled into our daydream. And at that point it's more difficult or even impossible for us to pull ourselves out. Therefore, we have to start being more aware of what we're going through.

[continues explanation]

Perfection.

And so next is figuring out ways to calm our system down. This can take the form of a distraction technique like going for a walk or organizing a part of our home, coloring, watching a show, playing a video game, you name it. These calming things could also be more process-based, things like journaling or talking to your therapist or a friend about it, or even using an impulse log. [Continues with calming things]

Good examples, MD researchers specifically recommend keeping a log.

We're also going to have to find some coping skills that we can use when we're starting to feel overwhelmed and wanting to go back into the daydream. Maybe we hold an ice cube in our hands, clap our hands, count the number of things in the room that are blue, brown, black… whatever works for you, do it.

Good stuff.

And it's okay for something not to work. We just have to try it to know and then move on to something else.

Important point to make, happy to see this.

Once we have a few things that work, write them down in your phone or on a post-it note so that you can see it and be reminded when you need it. We will also need to come up with some ways to pull ourselves out of the daydream. And I know this is gonna be harder and we may even wanna call upon helpful and supportive people in our lives to assist us.

Good advise.

We could, because it's our daydream, right, we could put a big door in our daydream and we can choose to go through it and pull ourselves out, or have people in the daydream that remind us of our real life and tell us to go back.

A good suggestion. Q, on the Parallel Lives Podcast (I can’t remember which episode off the top of my head), did something like this by turning to his characters and saying “ok, take 5 guys, we’ll pick it up at xtime”, and many people have found that to be a clever and helpful method.

Now, I know this is really, really hard… which rolls into my final tip, which is to work with a therapist to heal from the trauma or to learn how to better cope with the anxiety or stress we're feeling. Working to heal or process through the reason our maladaptive daydreaming exists in the first place will ensure that we don't need it anymore.

Absolutely seek professional support if you can.

... if we heal the issue we're struggling to cope with, the urge to use those unhelpful coping skills will go away altogether.

[outro]

I think this last point will frighten a lot of MDers. It’s probably the brevity of the video that didn’t allow her to really expand on this, and I certainly don’t want to put words into her mouth that she may not have intended. Don’t be afraid of losing your MD. “Curing” Maladaptive Daydreaming does not mean “I’ll never see my world again.” You’ll always have the capacity to daydream like this, you were born this way, but it *doesn’t* have to be maladaptive. Like overeating, you will never not eat, you will fix your relationship with food.

Good video overall, brief but accurate and includes the standard helpful advise.

#maladaptive daydreaming #actuallymadd

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mc-critical · 3 years

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Hellooo 🤗 First, I have been following your blog for a while and I love your blog so much! I hope you are doing well :) And my ask to you can be a little bit complex. I have been thinking about why Hatice chose not to kill Hurrem when she kidnapped her for 2 years. I know hurrem obviously can't die for the history :) and they had to change the scenario for Meryem's absence but I want to think this in the my universe, some suggest that her whole purpose was to revenge suleyman, more than hurrem. Because in ep 85, she said to him that she wanted to kill hurrem just because she wanted suleyman to suffer and feel the same pain as her. And some people say that it's because she just couldn't do this because she is still so...merciful. In short, I sometimes have troubles to understand the dynamics and the bond between hurrem and hatice. They are both very complex characters and there is so many hatice hate in this fandom and I am saying this as an hurrem fan :) So I would be very happy if you can answer my question and this complex dynamics between them 😊💕

Hey there! 🤗 Thank you for your words and yes, I'm fine. :)

I agree that the whole abduction plot was clearly done in order to excuse Meryem's departure in-universe in some way. And Hürrem couldn't be killed because of historical accuracy and the whole lot of stuff she had to do in the script afterwards. She couldn't just die like that, they had to wrap her arc up in some way and both the consequences of the abduction and S04 itself were very important for Hürrem's character.

That aside, I don't think the writers gave us a clear cut reason as to why Hatice didn't kill Hürrem. I always considered the way Hürrem survived to be a plot hole for the sake of the plot and time constraints the team faced by the end of the season. There were many cases the show abused the attacks of Hürrem done by her enemies, they sometimes turned out to be so miscalculated and so absurd that Hürrem would always survive. They became so much, we have seen such scenarios so many times now that Hürrem surviving is something I would take for granted by now and wouldn't question for that and that alone. The survival, in practice, is as contrived as it can be and knowing the difficulties behind the scenes, I refused to think of the how and the why of the fact alone.

However, yes, the abduction was not only a way to cover up for Meryem's departure, it ultimately became the conclusion of Hatice's whole character arc, culminating in one last move against Hürrem.

After she forgave Ibrahim about the infidelity, their wounds started to heal and they finally had the chance to start over. And it seemed to pay off... until he died. Ibrahim's death was a new low in Hatice's arc which caused her to lose hope in her own life. She was ready to end it... but not before she got rid of the object of her rage. Thing is, even though Hatice acted against Hürrem before and fully stood against her by S03 for multiple reasons (I elaborated on all that and the many nuances of Hatice's character here), we could say that her wanting to kill Hürrem was the turning point of her storyline and arc in the second half of the season. Before that Hatice's actions against Hürrem were primarily motivated by her threatening everything Hatice cared about at once - both dynasty and family and Hürrem taking Valide's chambers was the last nail of the coffin, which is why her first true move against Hürrem was done through methods the tradition and the harem stood by. (Firuze) I doubt she wanted to kill her then, it was all about the protection of Hatice's personal attachments. She wanted to put her in line, to make her stop, to defeat her for everyone to return to their peaceful lives. What she wanted most of all was a stable family with Ibrahim. And after Ibrahim died, the chance for one was gone. Hatice knew well of Hürrem's enmity with Ibrahim and didn't know of Ibrahim's speeches, hence she didn't have anyone else to blame other than Hürrem and Süleyman. After everything began to go well, Ibrahim's death once again destroyed her "perfect picture", she lost the person that became the bounder of dynasty and family after she forgave him, her everything, a loss for the state, as well. (she praised all his achievements during campaigns after he died) The needs of the dynasty fully became her own personal motives by the time Ibrahim was dead. She already had enough rage against Hürrem at this point, but now that rage increased all the more. That rage, close to hatred, became directed at Süleiman, as well, for taking such a devastating decision, disregarding Hatice's own values and life in her eyes and reminding her of all the death and trauma she had experienced, so the only thing she would do, is move against them both. Yes, Süleiman took away a piece of Hatice's life, now it is her turn to take away a piece of his life. Her enmity against Hürrem took a wholly different turn. Now she truly is the object of all her misery and pain, to the point she thought that her coming in the harem to begin with caused destruction everywhere around - it destroyed everything, according to Hatice, including Süleiman, as she told him in her last scene.

There's also another thing we should look at- all of Hatice's actions in E83, which I feel are very detrimental for her S03B arc. It almost feels like Hatice is in a conflicted state of mind - she lost a lot from Ibrahim's death, she no longer had a point of existing and yet, she wants those who caused her pain to suffer, she wants to end them. She feels that Ibrahim's death is a gross injustice that has to be avenged and yet, she wants to suffer alone with herself, alone with her own pain. Her suicide attempt in the same episode "marries" these two states of mind and puts Hatice's later actions into context - Şah saving her and her promise to end Hürrem is a major reason why Hatice kept going, because it's a modicum of support she hasn't gotten from this person for a long time. It's a promise to fix what has passed. Hürrem's elimination would "fix" what has passed in Hatice's eyes, it would be a natural right, to say the least. Şah saving Hatice gave her the only motivation to live and that's one reason why Hatice fixated so much in it. And if we put her growing depression in the mix, we see that she didn't really get the chance to heal from such big loss. No one truly managed to alleviate her pain or to understand her, everyone was only expecting her to move on, to get over it, without actually doing anything helpful, because "time heals", now doesn't it? In a point Hatice begins to view any action that appear to try "alleviating her pain" as a forced interference in her own life by creating various situations (like Şah redecorating her castle, the exile in Manisa, the marriage with Hüsrev Pasha etc.) for her to adapt in without really considering how she actually felt. She couldn't cope with Ibrahim's death in a healthy way, so the only thing left of her was this wound that kept growing, instead of healing. She was fueled by promises of an end to her misery and will for revenge, but when these promises weren't being fulfilled, she fell even further into despair and acting against the ones who caused her suffering became her only coping mechanism. Which culminated in the abduction.

I know that the writers tried their best to weave a mystery out of this whole plot line, but Hatice being the one behind the abduction wasn't surprising in the slightest - I always saw it as a desparate move of hers to get rid of Hürrem, in a way Süleiman would never predict she would be capable of in her right mind, in a way no one could stop her from doing what she must. Hatice admitted that this was done in order for Süleiman to feel what she felt, to fuel him with false promises the way they all fueled her (see the last Hatice and SS scene before her death) and finish it all by herself, by finally, finally doing what should havе done long ago. The fact that no one knew what happened exactly is something I think Hatice would definetly pull in her most broken state, aside from the sloppy writing, because when everything is kept under wraps, the fate of Hürrem is all in her hands and she would deal with her successfully and effortlessly, without anyone managing to prove anything. This was her revenge, this was the way she would finish it.

I honestly don't understand her not killing her, aside from the plot convenience, because at this point.. oh yes, Hatice would absolutely kill her and as I mentioned before, she already wanted to kill her, to eliminate what has become the root of all the problems in the family and in the harem and again, take a piece of Süleiman's life as he did with her. Simply putting Hürrem in her place as she wanted in some moments of S02 and on a stronger level in all of S03A wouldn't cut it anymore. But then again, Hatice did tell Hürrem many times throughout S03B that she can make her suffer in a way she would beg for her death, as shown with her doing the whole thing with the herbs. She probably wanted to do this first and then kill her and Hürrem just... succeeded to escape in the meantime? I would've totally believed this was the case if we didn't get these little hints from Hatice in Bali Bey's interrogation in E102: there she said that she wanted to avenge Ibrahim's death so much, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't succeed. That could mean so many things. It sure didn't mean Hürrem's escape, because she escaped a year later (confirmed by E103), so there must be another thing that stopped her. While Hatice is an overally ethical character, she wouldn't be all that merciful at this point of the show, because of all the reasons I stated above and the fact that she has ordered an execution before. (Nigar) Maybe Hürrem showed or told her something that stopped Hatice from doing it? Maybe Hatice found out that that this whole thing made her more miserable? The most probable reason for me is what she hinted at in her last scene which indeed has more to do with Süleiman than with Hürrem: maybe she saw all the unsuccessful attempts to kill Hürrem and wanted to put her in a place they could never find her in instead and take her away from SS and everyone else, to hit him where it hurt. To let him live with her unsure fate. For him to burn inside everyday, without the person he would do everything for, without knowing whether she lived or died, just like Hatice never got to know where Ibrahim's grave was and never got the chance to get over her pain. She didn't succeed to get rid of Hürrem, so she might as well do that instead. That might have been her last resort.

Because throughout all of S03B, Hatice was empty inside. She had one driving feeling that probably got bruised quite a bit after she abducted Hürrem. Complete hopelessness might have gotten over her and she may have wanted to give up the fight altogether. Killing Hürrem was apparently a hopeless cause. Happiness and piece once more were apparently a hopeless cause. She couldn't avenge Ibrahim and the only thing left was say one last goodbye with her sister, calling back on her wish for a calm family, and then confront the other member of the family left, who seemingly screwed everything up. I would say that Hatice realized that it was SS who was the decider of everyone's fates in the end and that he made so many problematic decisions that only made everyone around him suffer and that is connected with the impact Hürrem had in their lives.

[I agree that Hatice and Hürrem had a very complex dynamic that went through detailed development throughout three seasons and both of them had complex reasons to do what they did. Believe me, I never got this striking amount of Hatice hate I encounter in the fandom either, especially because these haters do so little effort to understand her character.]

#magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #muhtesem yuzyil #hatice sultan #hurrem sultan #sultan suleiman #ask #ganeshkfp #i wanted to talk about S03B Hatice for quite some time now #and this gave me the chance thank you :)

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funkymbtifiction · 4 years

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Character and Neurosis

These profiles have a more negative slant than a lot of Enneagram write-ups, for the reason of ‘shocking’ you into self-awareness of the destructive habits of each Enneagram type. It’s also useful to remember: the healthier you are as this type, the less you will identify with the more ‘extreme’ points of these personalities. A healthy 4 may identify with the sense of self-alienation and rejection from the outside world, but not the perpetual unhappiness. A 6 may identify with the extreme logic / caution but not the neurotic paranoia. An 8 may identify with the need to ‘be against’ but not the pathological aggression. Etc.

It’s about evaluating your deeper impulses, defense mechanisms, and the lies you tell yourself and not focusing primarily on behaviors.

Enneagram 1: Anger and Perfectionism

Enneagram 2: Pride and the Histrionic Personality

Enneagram 3: Vanity, In-Authenticity and the Marketing Orientation

Enneagram 4: Envy and the Depressive Masochistic Character

Enneagram 5: Avarice and Pathological Detachment

Enneagram 6: Cowardice, Paranoid Character & Accusation

Enneagram 7: Gluttony, Fraudulence, and Narcissistic Personality

Enneagram 8: Sadistic Character & Lust

Enneagram 9: Psycho Spiritual Inertia and the Over-Adjusted Disposition

The path to spiritual awareness and healing comes from learning to recognize these tendencies in yourself with enough awareness to notice each time your lies and defense mechanisms kick into place. This kind of self-observation allows you to grow into total awareness of yourself at all times, and recognize the CHOICE you face in giving in to your instinct (your number) or whether you will choose to do the opposite, in an effort of self-transformation. (The 5 allowing self to engage, rather than distance itself; the 2 asking for what they need, rather than only giving all the time; the 9 saying “no” when it doesn’t want to do that.)

Enneagram teachers disagree on how to grow yourself, but all agree that self-awareness and total honesty as regards your true motives is crucial. Many suggest a period of self-observation and journaling in retrospect, looking at various situations in which you can provide exact examples of when the outside world ‘threatened’ you into using your coping mechanisms (of your core and wing). This retrospective self-evaluation will enable you to see how your number’s methods have worked in the past, to further bring you into present self-awareness. The path forward from that is up to you -- some choose building from the inside out through internal change (reflection, meditation, self-questioning), others alter their behavior first (eg: doing the opposite of what their first inclination is, to break the cycle).

Good luck!

#enneagram #enneagram 1 #enneagram 2 #enneagram 3 #enneagram 4 #enneagram 5 #enneagram 6 #enneagram 7 #enneagram 8 #enneagram 9

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writingonesdreams · 3 years

Text

Novel prep tag game

WIP Stormkeeper new version

I always end up doing this thingy when the concept is changing XD this like my, what, 6th novel prep tag? Always helps.

FIRST LOOK

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

Cultural scientist Acacia can finally realize her dream of doing field notes in different mage regions, but has to team up with a cold and judgemental bodyguard and his careless dragon-shifting brother in the process.

The story is basically about three exceptional people that don't fit in in various ways - Wes by nature, Kyler by force and Acacia because of her interests - and how they deal with it.

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

One novel, maybe a series later on.

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

Trains, mountains, cities, lakes and fog, spirts, sandstorms and hurricanes, rain.

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

Naruto, Frozen 2, Mash, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Star Wars, Atla, Avatar, The greatest Showman.

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel

MAIN CHARACTER

6. Who is your protagonist?

The protagonist Acacia drives the story with her goal of acquiring field notes for her research. But both Kyler and Wes are main and pov characters.

Acacia is analytical scientist and a imaginative dreamer, passionate but insecure inside. Her quick mind and abstract philosophic thought process is hard to keep up with.

7. Who is their closest ally?

Her reluctant bodyguard Kyler is son of one of the most significant Pulsor families and the most powerful and dedicated Pulsor mage (controls lighting) of his generation - but rather cold and closed off.

Kyler's younger brother Wes is the reincaratnion of a dragon - the rarest and most ancient spirits - basically a god. Mischievous, reckless but cunning, he has never been allowed to leave home before.

8. Who is their enemy?

There are no enemies per se. There are obstacles, energy thieves and Phatoms on the way, people that mean harm when they see someone different, but there is no antagonist.

9. What do they want more than anything?

Acacia wants to make ethnographic research on the similarities between magic types and the ways of expression and attitude that add up to be the same thing - people living their lives and looking at the world through the taught lenses of their respective magical culture.

10. Why can’t they have it?

Doing research in different regions is hard, because travelling between regions is limited and dangerous. There are Phatoms, energy thieves and people that hate differences and loathe people interested in magic not their own.

In the end the biggest obstacle is probably the way hybrid magicians are loathed - it’s considered a betrayal and weakness not to follow one’s born in type and learn other ones as well. Something Acacia loves, and other people like Wes could use.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

Kyler believes he has failed. Wes that he is not enough. Acacia that magic is the most magical thing.

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Commissioned art:

Kyler / Acacia / Wes

PLOT POINTS

13. What is the internal conflict?

Acacia’s internal conflict is mostly about staying true to her belief that different magics can coexist and learn from each other. She is the impact and main driving character of the story - she changes the others and struggles to stay true to herself and her love for different magics and learning from them.

Kyler’s conflict is about his perfectionalism that was recenltly ruined by his kindapping by the Shadow Cult that forced a magic upon him he hates and he can’t forgive himself for being weak enough to succumb to it. It's something that was forced upon him but became part of him nonetheless.

Wes deals with his original spirit memories not returning as they should.

14. What is the external conflict?

Acacia’s external conflict is about her love for Sight, ability to see nature spirits on another plane of existence and the danger she might lose connection to reality and her body if she spends too much time in it.

Kyler’s conflict is dealing with the very real consequences of Shadow Craft magic being now part of him. It’s always there when he is torn or angry or hurt, crawling under his skin and he hates he can’t control it completely.

Wes’s conflict is about finding a balance between his love for his family and the human world and the foreign yearning for his wilder dragon side.

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

For Acacia to lose her connection to her body by not being able to stay in the moment.

For Kyler it would losing control of Shadow Craft and having it rule him.

For Wes it would be being abondoned by his family and brother and losing the life he has when his memories come back and he finds out about his spirit life.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

No magic is really bad. Or good. The key is balance and intent.

17. Do you know how it ends?

I can envision several ending scenes that would fit, they all mostly fit together.

BITS AND BOBS

18. What is the theme?

The main theme is self-worth, from self-understanding, acceptance of who you are with all the sides and flaws and yearnings and self-love and confidence in who you are and going after what resonates with you. Keeping the storm inside you alive so to say.

19. What is a recurring symbol?

Storms? XD The symbols representing each of the four main magics are moon sicle, sun, lightning bolt and a spiral.

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

It’s set in modern age in a made up country divided into four regions accoriding to its dominating magic practice. These are also very different in landscapes - from mountain village of Pulsors, skyscapers of Aurals, lake bungallows of Sensors to deserts of Resonants.

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

The big tentpole scenes are pretty sure, the rest I will figure as I go.

22. What excited you about this story?

The way I can use magic types as metaphors for fictional cultures and explore their related views and approaches. The different value systems are much clearer in such a excessive example.

Also all my favourite tropes fit into the story! From rivals to lovers, brothers, trio dynamics, gradual friendships, bodyguards, spirits, Shifters, reincarnations, dragons, healing, deeling with the fixed and growth mindset, perfectionalism and vulnerbility, how to stay in the present moment, how to find balance, different ways to express emotions, how to deal with differences, understanding vs tolerance vs acceptance, how to find - cope - stay true as well as have faith and confidence in who you are...all questions I'm personally very curious about.

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

Building and living with characters in countless AUs, finding their arcs and a story to best realize them, magic system, themes and thematic questions I want to explore, finding a story to frame those, brainstorming, outlining and hopefully writing before the idea loses its spark.

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Tagging if you want to play: @catharticallysarcastic @akindofmagictoo @estrella-writings @zielenbloesem @waysofink

#writeblr #writeblr community #amwriting #creative writing #writers on tumblr #wip intro #novel prep tag game #tag game #wip: stormkeeper #my wip #my writing

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