#various other characters with questionable coping methods

[tarrbunny]

IN-CHARACTER QUESTIONS FOR FORTNITE MUSES

This is an ask game intended for Fortnite muses, with questions being tailored to fit that universe. Send a number or series of numbers, and my skin will answer!

Have you ever been in the loop? What was it like?

Do you have a favorite loadout or weapon/gun? Why do you prefer it?

Favorite mods for weapons/vehicles?

Do you have any powers or abilities that help you defend yourself? What are they? Are they more of a blessing or a curse?

Have you ever witnessed any "live events"? Did you enjoy them?

Are you native to Reality Zero, or were you brought here from somewhere else?

Do you have any memories of your home reality, and would you ever want to go back?

Do you have any snapshots that you know of? Do you get along with them?

How do you feel about the various supernatural and anthropomorphic creatures on the island? Have you gotten used to them?

Are you a part of any factions or syndicates? (Ex: The Society, The Underground, The Agency, The I.O, etc)

What faction do you fear the most, and why?

What's your favorite location/landmark, past or present?

How do you handle the island's constant changes? Are you generally able to cope with it?

What's been the biggest threat you've faced on the island so far?

What's your favorite vehicle to use? Do you prefer other methods to travel instead?

Have any events or changes to the island impacted your life significantly?

What iterations of the island have you lived on? Which one did you enjoy living on the most?

Do you enjoy the chaos of the island, or do you wish things were more peaceful?

What is your fondest memory from your time in Reality Zero?

What's your favorite holiday to celebrate on the island?

If you were forced to fight in the loop on a team with three other people, who would you choose to take with you and why?

What's your main way of earning gold bars/vbucks?

Favorite island-specific consumable? (Ex: Slurp Juice, Zero Point Pretzel, Chug Splash, etc)

Slurp juice or slap juice?

Durr Burger or Pizza Pit?

ミ☆ Dividers from cold--carnage

[lixenn]

Hi lili!!! 👋🏾 Hope you are well! For Chief...!

💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

🥩 (steak) - Does your oc have any coping mechanisms? Healthy or unhealthy?

🪓 (axe) - Does your oc have survival skills? Have they ever had to use them? What would they do in an apocalypse? Could they survive?

Heya Momo! I'm hanging on by a bare thread but I'm still kicking so that's something (I will defeat this thesis, I will kick it to the curb! I will murder it dead <- straight up in denial OTL)

Chief questions! Chief questions!!!

Let's see...

💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

Well, Dani-boy ain't a saint so he certainly hurt quite a bit of people. As for who he hurt the most, well that's [redacted] Ummm... huh? That's strange... Let me try again. Dan [redacted] ... One time he [redacted]

Whut?

*contacting the nonsense generator*

...

Error 404 Answer not found.

You have entered the spoiler zone. Varia Quality censoring engaged. Please try again at a later date.

🥩 (steak) - Does your oc have any coping mechanisms? Healthy or unhealthy?

Dan is a solution orientated person. If there's a problem, he tries to fix it. If there's no problem? Well, there will be future ones so he plans ahead. ("Paranoid much Chief?") So you could say he copes with things by planning and scheming and working. He loves lists and graphs, likes sorting his thoughts by writing them down. He will list all the things that could possibly go wrong and then meassures to prevent them or how to react to them. Not really a healthy way to cope with life but when your part of the Mafia where sanity often goes on permanent vacation it can save your ass quite a bit.

When confronted with situations that are not in his plans (aka the newest Varia shitshow) or that simply make him uncomfortable (aka Vlasta's nonsense) then he often shuts down. Dan knows the value of a strategic retreat and he's not afraid to use it.

He also heavily abuses his hard workload as a distraction tactic. What do you mean Ottavio wants to talk to him? Can't you see that he's busy doing budget reports? Come in late (read: never). (There's no time to worry about the high death toll when he's mind is occupied with numbers and to-lists and meetings. Chief is good at compartmentalizing, locking bad memories into boxes and hiding away the key)

To break it down: Dan copes with contingency plans, compartmentalization and just plain noping out of the problem. It's not exactly the healthiest way to cope because he tends to take these methods to the extremes but it could be worse.

🪓 (axe) - Does your oc have survival skills? Have they ever had to use them? What would they do in an apocalypse? Could they survive?

Survival skills huh... bit of a broad term but I will try my best 🫡

Dan knows first aid and hand to hand combat. It was drilled into his head by his parents because they know how dangerous the mafia can be and they wanted him to be equipped to deal with it. (His siblings got the same training, yes even his sister though she isn't a fan of getting her hands dirty). He knows how to make a fire, set up camp and how get food in the wilderness (though his cooking skills are... not up to par, it's enough to survive but not really all that appetizing). Dan learned those skills on various camping trips he went on with his dad, it was their way to bond since Dan loves nature and his dad likes to hunt.

As for the apocalypse... Please, he has contingency plans for an eventual Varia zombie outbreak (he doesn't trust PoisonChem or R&D as far as he can throw them, he wouldn't be surprised if they cook up a zombie virus in their labs. Disappointed? Yes. Surprised? No.) and several other apocalypse scenarios. So as long as it isn't something that insta kills lots of people (aka natural disaster shit) he would be fine. He has a couple safe houses, common sense and knows how to use a shotgun. Also he's just way too stubborn to die because the world's gone to shits. Plus for some reason someone up above (the author) wants to torment him on a daily basis and he's got to be alive for that to happen so yeah...

He'd either be roped into some leadership role in a survival camp or he'd be the grumpy guy in the woods living off the land. Could go either way.

Red emoji oc ask

[frontageexterior]

WPC Decking: The Future of Outdoor Flooring

WPC decking is advanced technology that provides the perfect synergy of form and strength. WPC decking eliminates the restrictions of natural wood flooring without compromising on its natural beauty by integrating wood fibers and scrap plastics. The article provides an overview of the special attributes, benefits, and applications of WPC decking.

What is WPC Decking?

WPC decking is a product made of a combination of wood-based materials, natural fibers, plastic blend, and binders. It is stronger when treated and encompasses the physical aspect of natural wood as well as occupying space with better performance in coping with hostile weather. It is the best to use in an outdoor endeavor due to it being hard and resilient.

Main Features of WPC Decking

Increased Strength Character

Moisture, sun, termites, and weather conditions cannot harm WPC decking, which is in the same form and looks simply stunning for decades.

Natural Appearance

Because it's made to look like wood, WPC decking comes in numerous finishes, colors, and textures and can be easily integrated into any design. WPC decking is made from recycled plastics and wood and shapes the environment in a sustainable manner by saving natural resources and limiting wastage.

Low Maintenance Requirements

WPC decking does away with having to stain, seal, or sand again and again. Soap and water washing with light soap keeps it looking its best.

Safety and Comfort

Splinter-free and slip-resistant, WPC decking is an easy and safe place for everyone, particularly in patios and pool decks.

Advantages of WPC Decking

Strength: Assembling in a robust way, WPC decking lasts for decades with hardly any wear and tear. Affordability: Even though it is costlier in purchase price than wood, low maintenance and lower replacement ratio make it economical. Ecological Integrity: By material reuse, WPC decking maintains ecological continuity and reduces ecological footprint. Aesthetic Flexibility: As it is of a plain form and has a large range, it is versatile enough to be applied to other purposes and aesthetics.

Applications of WPC Decking

Domestic Spaces

Suits balcony, garden path, patio, and pool deck uses to perfection, offering function and beauty to outdoor spaces.

Commercial and Public Installations

Best suited for restaurants, rooftop spaces, boardwalks, and recreational spaces, WPC decking endures round-the-clock exposure without losing its appeal.

Event Venues and Recreation Areas

Used in most instances in parks, theater locations, and public structures as a result of its strength and minimal maintenance needs.

Installation Instructions

Prepare the Ground

Ensure that the base is clean and flat to facilitate an easy mounting process.

Follow Manufacturer Instructions

Employ the recommended tools and methods for a secure and long-lasting fit.

Consider Professional Help

Professional fitting for accuracy and longevity with intricate or large designs.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q1: Why is WPC decking superior to wood decking?

A: WPC decking is longer lasting, water-proof, and low maintenance as opposed to wood.

Q2: Is WPC decking weather-resistant?

A: Yes, WPC decking is weather-resistant and can withstand extreme weather conditions, including blistering sun, rain, and sub-freezing temperatures.

Q3: Is WPC decking eco-friendly?

A: Yes. Recycling minimizes the consumption of virgin material and promotes green building.

Q4: Is a lot of maintenance required for WPC decking?

A: No, frequent washing with water and soap keeps its appearance even.

Q5: What is the life expectancy of WPC decking?

A: It can be extended beyond 25 years if properly maintained.

Q6: Can WPC decking be produced as per special specifications?

A: Yes, and also in numerous various designs, finishes, and colors to suit various design specifications.

Q7: Is WPC decking safe for children and pets?

A: Yes, being splinter-free and slip-resistant, it is pet- and child-friendly.

Conclusion

WPC decking is a new floor finish that blends esthetics, functionality, and eco-friendliness. Based on its exceptional durability resistance and stresses, minimal maintenance requirements, and environmental friendliness, WPC decking is the best option for modern environments. WPC decking adds esthetics and value to a suburban garden or urban park in a green way. Select WPC decking for your application and relish the best blend of esthetics and functionality.

[vitalitylivingcollege6]

Discover the Transformative Power of NLP Therapy with Vitality Living College

It’s a cinch to say that people have never needed self-development, emotional strength, and achievement as much as they do today. There are many tools to use in improving one’s quality and character; but NLP therapy is one sure way of empowering the individual. As a highly specialized NLP therapy provider in Vitality Living College, here at the college, we seek to assist people to live their lives to the fullest.

In this article, the author delves into NLP therapy and how it works, other areas that it may be of help to a person, and why you should enroll in Vivacity Living College for a life enriching program.

What is NLP Therapy?

Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP is one of the psychological approach studies and methods of changing the way you think, the way you communicate and subsequently behave. The term ‘therapy’ used in NLP therapy is a reference to the healing of affective disorders, upgrading of a decision maker, and or creation of other beneficial change in a person’s life.

Currently, at the Vitality Living College, the NLP therapy programs assist participants to both discover self-sabotaging beliefs, and replace them with helpful, reworded ones. As such, people can best cope with adversities, gain confidence, and get to the achievement of their desired objectives.

Why Choose NLP Therapy?

If you are able to make some questions to yourself about NLP therapy or wondering if it will suitable for you, then you should consider all the various functions of this therapy. It’s a versatile tool that addresses various aspects of personal and professional life, including:

1. Improved Communication Skills

It is an important marker that assists learners develop and use appropriate verbal and nonverbal skills. At the workplace, it impacts relations with friends or clients, and generally results in more positive relations and/or outcomes.

2. Overcoming Emotional Blockages

Stress and other emotional situations are parts of people’s everyday life. New problems do appear, and NLP therapy helps in causing their diagnosis and working on them using the means which will let you continue your way without eager and fears.

3. Boosted Self-Confidence

Using strategies learned at Vitality Living College, it is possible to learn how to feel confident and act like what you really want, and that will make you a new person.

4. Enhanced Leadership Qualities

Managers and executives go for NLP therapy to enhance on decision making, consideration and the ability to be in charge of a team. This is important because with NLP you can take a vision and the genuine self to work.

Applications of NLP Therapy

One of the most remarkable aspects of NLP therapy is its wide range of applications. Here’s how it’s helping people around the globe:

Personal Growth and Emotional Well-being

Many use NLP therapy to work through personal obstacles, such as procrastination, self-doubt, or fear of failure. Techniques like anchoring and reframing can create significant emotional breakthroughs.

Professional Success

Professionals leverage NLP strategies to negotiate better, boost productivity, and achieve career milestones.

Health and Wellness

NLP therapy is also effective for managing chronic pain, reducing stress, and encouraging healthy habits.

At Vitality Living College, our holistic programs integrate these applications, making them accessible and actionable for all participants.

What Makes Vitality Living College the Best for NLP Therapy?

When finding the right NLP therapy to take, it is important to ensure the provider has the experience and expertise as well as creates a positive feel. Here’s why Vitality Living College stands out:

1. Experienced Trainers

Our programs are delivered with approved NLP practitioners, with extensive experience to boot. Hear more about their approaches, professional and personal experiences, and expertise at each of the sessions.

2. Comprehensive Curriculum

Vitality Living College provides a comprehensive program that touches all aspects from the basic concepts right up to more complex strategies. For the novice it may be possible to get all the necessary information without our programs; for the true master our programs where designed to suit your level of expertise.

3. Supportive Community

That is why we are convinced that growth should take place in a comfortable environment only. It also makes participants part of a lively community they can interact with in the process of learning at this per-established educational institution called Vitality Living College.

4. Global Recognition

Our programs are internationally accredited; therefore, you’ll be trained to the international standards.

Key Features of NLP Therapy Programs at Vitality Living College

Choosing the best NLP therapy means understanding what you’ll receive in terms of tools, techniques, and support. At Vitality Living College, our programs include:

1. Practical Tools for Real-Life Challenges

Participants learn actionable techniques such as:

Anchoring: Instantly access positive emotional states.

Reframing: Shift perspectives to find solutions instead of problems.

Rapport Building: Develop deeper connections with others.

2. Personalized Approach

We understand that every individual is unique. Our programs are tailored to address personal goals, ensuring maximum benefit.

3. Flexible Learning Options

With online and in-person courses, you can choose the format that best suits your lifestyle and learning preferences.

4. Hands-On Practice

Our sessions emphasize experiential learning, ensuring that you not only understand NLP but also apply it effectively in daily life.

How to Get Started with NLP Therapy at Vitality Living College

Embarking on your NLP journey is simple with Vitality Living College. Follow these steps to start your transformation:

Step 1: Explore Our Programs

Visit our website to browse our range of NLP courses. We offer beginner-friendly workshops as well as advanced certifications.

Step 2: Speak to Our Team

Our expert advisors are here to guide you in choosing the program that aligns with your goals.

Step 3: Enroll and Transform

Once you’ve enrolled, get ready to immerse yourself in a life-changing experience.

Frequently Asked Questions About NLP Therapy

1. Is NLP therapy suitable for everyone? Yes, NLP therapy is versatile and can benefit people of all ages and professions.

2. How long does it take to see results? Many participants notice improvements within the first few sessions. Long-term benefits depend on consistent practice.

3. Can I use NLP therapy to improve relationships? Absolutely. NLP therapy helps you understand others better, communicate effectively, and build stronger bonds.

4. Does Vitality Living College offer certifications? Yes, we provide internationally recognized certifications upon course completion.

Unlock Your Potential with Vitality Living College

Success has prepared itself to plaintiffs and continuing education starting from self-improvement will begin with a first step. Vitality Living College is designed to assist you in making that step with ease and back you up. With our NLP therapy programs, isn’t it great to note that you are not just picking up techniques, but a new way of living?

They shouldn’t wait for the day to use the best NLP therapy. Take control of your life today with the help of Vitality Living College to find what is possible within you.

[buckyisonfire]

Dude I love love love love LOVE when people go into psychoanalysis rants about the TF2 mercs. It's such an untouched topic, but these are genuinely very fleshed out characters.

Sniper has just this air to him of artificial calm because he's actually afraid of being morally corrupted. This is because, on some level, he kind of is and he knows it. He's well aware what he's doing is probably wrong so he justifies it in his head somehow (like above said, "some living DESERVE to be killed")

But I think deep down he knows damn well that that's not true and this is all just a giant series of various coping mechanisms (stemming from past long term trauma caused by social isolation and emotional dissonance) that he only tells himself he isn't corrupted as hell so he doesn't take psychic damage from having to face the fact that it actually is and therefor he's a bad person.

I think Sniper has honestly one of the most complex characterizations out of the TF2 mercs simply just due to this split in his personality where he's grappling with whether he's some kind of monster or not. There's this question he's always asking himself; "I'm taking pleasure in doing what I've told myself is right, but that's just what I've told myself so is it really right?"

Obviously the answer is, no, it isn't. But to face that is something that can be incredibly painful and could literally cause a mental break, so most people grappling with that kind of question just don't face the truth. Sniper isn't really an exception, he has trouble facing this.

Although something I've learned is only hurt people hurt other people, and I don't think any of the mercs are exceptions. Sniper included. They're all in this job because they themselves are in pain in some kind of way or have an unaddressed wound somewhere. For Sniper it's this lack of stabillity in his moral identity and social life that just boils into this dispassionate anger. And because it's festered so long, even into adulthood, it's literally become not just anger, but straight up violence.

I do appreciate, though, that through a character like Sniper, these things don't just automatically make him pure evil or subhuman somehow. It has actual context and, while certainly not justified, is still understandable and makes sense.

There's something to be learned from the crazy of characters like the TF2 mercs. They're "evil" but they aren't necessarily non human. There's a point to make that even these cartoony stereotype characters are not just "evil" for the sake of it, but are "evil" because they're wounded. And I think that's the first step in radical empathy. Understanding the rhyme to reason, the method of the madness, that we aren't inherently evil creatures and sometimes shit happens that makes us lose ourselves.

But I do hope that if we ever get another addition to the comics that we finally get to see one of the mercs acknowledging the pain they've carried with them for so long and overcoming it. That they don't HAVE to do these terrible things to prove or relieve anything. That there's a better solution to their emotional issues and fears besides violence.

You know, I don't see a lot of people talking about this moment in the TF2 comics right here, seconds after Sniper realizes he's actually from New Zealand. Does anyone else think about how freaking insecure Sniper must have been growing up?

I know it has a somewhat comedic tone but I can't help but think about poor Sniper as a kid wondering why he was so different but never knowing why. With other Aussies being huge and muscular he must have thought something was wrong with him. And I feel like you can actually see the relief on his face in the bottom panel.

Also, side note, I love the bit about him throwing rocks from a tree which absolutely foreshadows his future as a sniper. His whole thing is shooting people from far away because he was never built to go on the offensive.

[chalkrevelations]

Well, it’s been so long, do I even remember how to do this? Back, with Bad Buddy Ep 2, Part 1/4 - but first! Before we see anything, we’re going to get a disclaimer telling us these characters are fictional and do things for entertainment purposes and aren’t intended to promote any particular behavior, which I guess means DON’T BE GAY AND DON’T DO CRIME? Or are we double fisting at the bar in this ep, I can’t remember offhand? At any rate, I find this hilarious every time it shows up before an ep starts. Don’t fall in forever love with the kid next door whose family is the mortal enemy of your family! Don’t follow him to summer camp to prove your love! Don’t write songs just for him! Just in case you were planning on any of that! We disapprove!

Anyway, previously, Pat and Pran fight; Pat’s little sister Pa calls them soulmates – cat out of the bag or foreshadowing? You decide - Engineering tries to kick the shit out of Wai only to discover oops, too bad for them, they’ve cornered Pran instead; Pran discovers that he’s still super turned on by Pat, or at least by Pat manhandling him up against a wall (I know, my friend, I KNOW. Up-against-a-wall trope, MY BELOVED); Pran is extremely chagrined by this particular voyage of self-discovery; Pat and Pran come up with a dumb plan and then add each other to their contacts list. Which is actually a LOT for a single, introductory episode. I have to give them props for getting that much in.

This time, we open on their morning routines in their dorm rooms, with the chance that provides for a ton of character work as we see Pran bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, thriving in his perfectly regimented morning with nothing out of place: Up out of bed as soon as his alarm clock goes off, making his bed, primping after a shower, drying his hair. He’s in an eerily good mood. I don’t trust morning people, jsyk. By contrast, Pat spends this entire time in his own room sprawled in bed, still snoring and clutching Nong Nao, who’s making the first of his many appearances. Pran’s practically dressed by the time Pat’s alarm – what turns out to be a preliminary alarm, set on his phone – even goes off, whereupon Pat hits snooze and continues to sleep like any reasonable person does, PRAN. We can see what maybe looks like a chess board on one of Pat’s end tables, which I don’t know is ever important, but is a nice little characterization detail I’ve filed away (in case I ever write Bad Buddy fic that’s not about my beloved Waikorn trashfires). Pran moves on to cooking breakfast, and there’s the greatest little moment here that tells us SO MUCH about him – this guy won’t even touch his own food while he’s preparing it. Not only does he use tongs to pull the toast out of the toaster, he pins his gd breakfast sandwich down with the tongs in one hand while he cuts it in half with a knife in the other hand. He won’t touch the food – and I don’t know if that’s about keeping his food clean or about not getting his hands messy - until he actually picks up half of the sandwich to eat it. My dude. You have got to unclench. You’re not going to survive Pat, otherwise. Cut to Pat’s actual alarm clock going off. We know enough about him by now to know that this doesn’t mean he’s actually getting up, right? Cut back to Pran, now doing the dishes, and I can’t with you, my guy. It’s kind of funny but it’s also NOT, because I can only imagine how much all of this perfect routine is a result of how incredibly neurotic you are about being the perfect son because of your particular flavor of fucked-up home life. Also, we can see Pran’s got a ton of post-it notes above the sink and on the fridge. Do remember that, we’ll get back to it. Cut to Pat finally waking up and a mad dash to get ready. At 8:15 am, Pran slings on his messenger bag as Pat is scrambling to finish getting dressed and getting his shit together (lit. and fig.). They both go to open their doors at the same time. WAIT FOR IT. Pran has to go back for what I think are his headphones? Also, who’s that guy in the picture on his nightstand? Anyway, Pat’s out the door and has disappeared down the hall just as Pran comes out of his own door and – OMG SURPRISE - they live directly across from each other in the dorm! Maybe they’ll paint a line down the middle of the hallway! (Spoiler alert: They will NOT paint a line down the middle of the hallway, because in contrast to the trashcan scene in Ep 1 when Pat was very conscious about everyone staying on their sides of the line, now that he’s had one chance to put Pran up against a wall, he is going to forget any concept of private or personal space.) Cue opening credits.

So, this is the first day of the second of Pat and Pran’s Ridiculous Plans, where they’re going to try to keep all of their secondary backup hobbits from crossing paths and throwing down. Engineering is headed to lunch, and Korn wants curry because he’s heard there are hot chicks at a particular curry restaurant. Chang literally slaps him upside the head and berates him for being a sexist pig; sadly, we’ll discover Chang’s concern for womankind does not extend to the unknown chick across the hall that his bro will develop a crush on, leading to some sexual harassment from Engineering in a later scene. ANYWAY. Pat texts Pran to warn him about Engineering’s plans but of course Architecture is already at that very restaurant. Pat has to convince Korn to go to a noodle shop instead, which he tries to do by making up a lie on the spot that he’s read reviews saying the chicks are even hotter at the noodle shop (when I think about how that could possibly be a reasonable restaurant review, I remember HOW GLAD I am that I’m past college and nod my head and make a little “mm. yeah.” sound). Pat actually seals the deal by promising that lunch will be on him, and Engineering is off to the noodle shop, crisis averted. Cue montage of wacky hijinks set to jaunty music as Pat and Pran continue to divert Engineering and Architecture from each other, including an absolutely priceless scene in which Engineering is lined up at the urinals in a bathroom and Pran comes wandering out of a stall, only to be waylaid and shoved back into the stall by Pat, who leans him backward in the already characteristic pose: one hand over his mouth, the other up in a “shhh” gesture. Pran – COMPLETELY REASONABLY, this time – wants to know if Pat has washed his hands, whereupon Pat sniffs his fingers and shrugs. I’m with Pran on this one. Bathroom hijinks have never interested me, because GROSS, and Pran’s FACE matches mine at this point before he chases Pat out of the stall. All this culminates in an encounter at the bus stop, when Engineering rolls on up as Architecture is already standing around there. Pran’s face says what the ACTUAL fuck are you doing here? Pat’s face says I couldn’t help it, what could I do? Wai notices Pran’s face and looks around to see what’s got him so upset, whereupon Korn – once again, let’s be clear – starts instigating, joking with Chang to check for an alarm, in case it goes off and some people, i.e., Architecture, run away like scared puppies. I’ll point out that everyone beat it last episode when the fire alarm went off, because you’d be a dumbass not to. Anyway, Chang plays straight man to Korn’s bullshit – not for the last time – and there’s some mocking barking at Architecture. Pran’s face as he witnesses the breakdown of Ridiculous Plan No. 2 right in front of his salad is something to behold. Wai (no, stop. don’t do it, my dude!) takes the bait, because 1) of course he does and 2) he and Korn always seem to be the flashpoint for these confrontations. Words are exchanged, Korn starts peeling off his windbreaker (:snort:), and is all, you wanna’ go? Wai does, in fact, wanna’ go. There’s the beginning of a scuffle, but then the single braincell of the whole operation (yes, that would be Pran) pulls a story out of thin air about how the bus stop shelter was built together by Engineering and Architecture students, and it’s supposed to be a place of truce. Which. OK. This is interesting. Because it’s a lie. Right now. But it’s also foreshadowing. Pran is pulling this story out of his ass, but … it’s going to become truth. The bus stop will be (re)built by Architecture and Engineering together. It will (eventually) become a place of truce. Because apparently, what Pran decides he wants, he can speak into existence, he just doesn’t KNOW THAT YET. (Also, the universe’s method for making the thing happen that Pran wants to happen – whatever it is - is going to be, of course, Pat. Who may not have been put on Earth specifically to fulfill Pran’s every wish but is going to end up devoting himself to that nevertheless, because it turns out, that’s what he wants to do with his life.) Anyway, for now, Pat listens to this story and is like, … riiiight. Oh yeah, right. He just thought Architecture didn’t know the story. Pran says, so, we’re all just going to go our separate ways and leave each other alone (on every possible level), right? Pat’s all, sure, whatever you say. Everyone else goes to their separate corners. Pat wants to know if the story was true, and Pran internally despairs, practically calls him a dumbass to his face, and points out the security camera that would have recorded a fight. Remember that, we’ll definitely get back to it.

With that resolved, we move on to the set-up for our next major plot point, which is Pran in his room, having dinner delivered, along with a text from Pat asking if he’s back at the dorm yet. Pran wants to know, what are you, my boyfriend? And now you’ve done it, dumbass, because you don’t even realize yet your power to speak things into existence, nor do you realize that Pat is the universe’s way of getting that done. Pat jokes that the only thing left for them to do is sleep in the same bed, and there’s no foreshadowing there, nuh-uh. Give it an ep and a half, my guy, and you’re going to be practically married already. Anyway, Pran pulls out his chicken (and I have to tell you, there are NOT enough delivery places in the US that will bring you an entire boneless fried chicken breast, although that’s probably a good thing for my arteries), plus – apparently – a surprise complimentary salad. Which turns out to not be complimentary, it should have gone to the customer across the hall, which the delivery guy calls to tell Pran. Too late, Pran already ate it. This leads to our first awkwardly visible product placement, of some kind of bottled tea product, which Pran leaves in a bag on the doorknob across the hallway along with a post-it note saying, haha, I accidentally ate your salad (:facepalm:), how about tradesies? Turns out Pat was on the phone with the delivery guy when Pran knocked, which is apparently why he didn’t answer the door like a normal person? So, Pat continues this comedy of errors by coming out to discover the drinks after Pran is already back inside his own room, and from there Pat convinces himself for some unknown reason that the hot chick who clearly lives across the hall clearly has a crush on him. He doesn’t go over and knock to introduce himself, he just retreats back into his own room to spin out this fantasy for himself. Pa, who visits him at what I think is a later time, scoffs at him, gives him some good-natured sibling verbal abuse to keep him humble, and predicts that it will end up with Pat doing the chasing, proving that Pa knows her big brother way better than he knows himself, because Pran leaves for class – the next day? at some later point in time? - to find a small box of some food-ish treat hanging on his own doorknob with a thank-you note. He looks weirdly baffled as he stands in the middle of the hallway mentally buffering before he apparently realizes where it probably came from, despite the fact that he technically initiated the whole interaction. And scene.

Up next: Pat and Pran get a surprise on the roof.

[pluralthey]

not rly a question, but I'm really excited by how LG is being written... in general I feel like child alters are shown as just 'uwu widdle baby' and written with 0 agency or real influence over their shared life. Like as if they are random kids the host is 'in charge of' and not someone who has the same claim to this body/existence as any other alter.

I do not deal well with writing littles because it's just not an experience I have so that's good to know. I didn't want to design multiple alters at multiple ages bc izzi is a side character, so I thought age slider was a good compromise. Also felt like it would be interesting if LG could be anywhere from Tiny Baby to around the age when edginess starts to become a focal point of the psyche and you don't need to hire a babysitter anymore. This would allow her to handle many familiar tasks in the system believably while still lacking emotional maturity in a unique way while dovetailing nicely with izzi's edgelord leanings. Because I don't have an experience to really approximate the "function" of a little, LG ended up having a similar role to trist as the resident clown.

This is tangential but I usually try to conceptualize her age sliding as involuntary and roughly related to the amount of psychological overwhelm and overstimulation she's experiencing. I think she can deal well with familiar tasks but regresses hard in unfamiliar and scary situations or situations that challenge her childlike optimism and whimsy. She doesn't know how to react to them other than to run from them, cry, or ask for help — which are important methods of coping that other system members lack.

Also relevantly, I created them years ago, but maybe a year ago I learned a little about transactional analysis, which is flawed in its own ways, and analyzes patterns of interactions by dividing them into 3 ego states: parent, adult, and child. All of these ego states have meaningful roles in various dynamics and social transactions, and it gave me more insight into interpreting child alters as well.

[twistedtummies2]

Good & Evil - Anti-Villains

Welcome to Good & Evil: A Study of Heroes & Villains. I’m discussing different forms of heroic and villainous characters, different types of protagonists and antagonists, and providing examples of them each from various sources. Last time we discussed Anti-Heroes; today, we’ll be talking about their parallels, the Anti-Villains. Anti-Villains are arguably the most difficult characters so far to pin down. The reason is because they’re one of the most unbendable, and because, much like anti-heroes, they’re extremely easy to mistake for other types, and vice-versa. While Anti-Heroes can sometimes flip-flop between being protagonists and antagonists, Anti-Villains are nearly always antagonist figures. Specifically, Anti-Villains are described as antagonistic characters who take villainous actions, but have heroic traits, qualities, or methods. They aren’t sympathetic villains, whom you can understand and even agree with but are ultimately bad guys doing bad things, nor are they anti-heroes, but they are often mistook for one or the other. So, how does one tell the difference? Let’s examine a few examples to try and demonstrate.

Perhaps the quintessential Anti-Villain - one of the oldest, most classical, and most often referenced characters of the archetype - is Inspector Javert from Les Miserables. No matter whether you look at the book, the stage musical, the anime (yes, there is an anime for Les Mis, and it’s actually surprisingly good), or any of the other interpretations that have come about over the decades, Javert is pretty much always the main antagonist…but he’s not an out and out villain. In fact, when you really look at Javert and his actions, he’s ostensibly the good guy: his “evil deeds” in the book involve pursuing a wanted fugitive, stopping presumed assaults and halting attempted muggings, and trying to help his government in the destruction of a group of violent revolutionaries. He does not resort to questionable methods like torture or outright murder to achieve these goals, and, in point of fact, he abhors most common vices that people have, such as drinking, womanizing, and so forth. In any other story, Javert would be the Hero…so why is he here? Well, Javert suffers from a simple and fatal flaw: his black-and-white viewpoint on society and morality. In Javert’s mind, anything illegal is bad, and the people who do such things are bad: case closed, no gray area, nothing further to discuss. He also seems to be under the impression that people of wealth or power will naturally be in the right, while people of lower standing will usually be in the wrong. It’s because of these two misjudgments that Javert frequently turns out to be a terror for the rest of the cast: Valjean is a thief and a runaway, but he is also a good and saintly man. Fantine attacks a pimp out of self-defense, not with the specific intent to kill him or rob him. Enjolras and his allies aren’t out to destroy the country, but rebelling against what they perceive to be an unjust system. In short, Javert is only the bad guy because he opposes good people, not because he, himself, is a bad person. He’s simply an objectivist person who refuses to self-reflect or take a better look at the situation; indeed, as the story goes on, and his worldview becomes more shattered, Javert begins to go insane, unable to cope with the cracks in his own armor.

Les Mis, of course, has been made into one of the most prominent musicals of all time, and another piece of musical theatre - also based on a VERY dark book - presents us with another example: The Wizard in Wicked. Now, in Gregory Maguire’s book - on which the musical is rather loosely based - The Wizard of Oz is a Villain, plain and simple. He’s a fascist dictator, Hitler-like in character, with no redeeming qualities or good intentions whatsoever. In the musical, however, the Wizard - like many of the characters - is softened up, and while he’s still the main antagonist of the story, he’s ultimately not the pureblooded bad guy the book makes him out to be. In the musical, the Wizard is, in essence, the same character he was in the ORIGINAL Oz books and 1939 film, where he self-described himself as, and I quote, “a very good man, just a very bad wizard.” The Wizard is the root cause for much of the misery that befalls Elphaba and those she cares for most, but it’s ultimately revealed that his intentions are not evil, nor is he even TOTALLY the reason these things happen. The Wizard, you see, is not only powerless as a supposes sorcerer, but also as a political powerhouse: he is a mere figurehead, a tool of evil people who hold TRUE power in the country. What he wants is the same thing Elphaba wants - to make Oz happier and better - and, in a twisted kind of way, what he is doing achieves this goal. What sets them against each other is the fact their ideas of what would make Oz better, and how to get to that point, are completely at odds. The Wizard, much like Javert, is only the villain because of his ignorance, and because of the way his actions and philosophies clash with the main protagonists.

Sticking with musical theatre, “Hamilton” gives us SEVERAL antagonistic characters. Founding Father Thomas Jefferson, as portrayed in the play, is a fine example of an anti-villain. As both history and the show itself make clear, Jefferson has some beliefs and ideas for the country that are…ANTIQUATED, to say the least. He’s also something of a fop, a womanizer, and way too willing to forgive and accept the violence of the French Revolution overseas. HOWEVER, ultimately, Jefferson is never trying to do anything evil or malicious, and it must be pointed out that the protagonist - Alexander Hamilton - is far from a pure and good hero, himself. Both of them are men with flaws and men with good qualities; what makes Jefferson the antagonist, and seemingly the more wicked of the two, is once again the same thing that makes Javert and the Wizard the antagonists in their story: he opposes the main protagonist, plain and simple.

At this point, you’re probably thinking that simply opposing the main protagonist is all it takes for a character to be seen as the anti-villain. This is both true and untrue. We’ll leave the world of popular musicals for now, and look at a somewhat more obscure example: Jefferson, the Mad Hatter, from the TV series “Once Upon a Time.” In most of his appearances, Jefferson is an antagonistic presence, and he does do some unsavory things, such as kidnapping and theft. However, Jefferson does not do these things out of a desire to do deliberate harm, and it should be pointed out that he just as often proves to be on the side of the heroes, helping them out almost as much as he bothers them. The reason for this is because Jefferson, to be blunt, does not take sides. It’s revealed in this universe that Jefferson has lost his daughter, and the events that caused this have led to him becoming the Mad Hatter, driven insane by the separation and longing to be reunited with his precious little girl. Jefferson will do ANYTHING it takes to get her back, but he also won’t do anything beyond that: he’s not out to get revenge on people, he’s not out to get money or power, and once he gets his happy ending, he’s perfectly happy with fading into the background and settling down with his child. He has what he wanted, he never needed anything else. While Jefferson does some villainous things, he’s never PORTRAYED as the villain, but he never does anything good enough to warrant being classified as a more heroic type, either. An antagonist who does what he does with the best of intentions and the best of goals: that, in short, is an anti-villain.

I feel a bit bad that I didn’t include a female example in my previous entry (well...not one I talked about at great length, anyway). So, for a final example, let’s look at a marvelous example of a female anti-villain: Lady Eboshi from Studio Ghibli’s “Princess Mononoke.” Studio Ghibli and its creative masters are actually quite renowned for creating antagonistic characters that are not necessarily villains (though it should be added they’ve created some great actual villains, too). Lady Eboshi does some things in the story that one would argue are not especially heroic, such as trying to kill a God and causing mayhem in the forest. However, she doesn’t do any of this with specifically ill intent to harm, or even out of greed or other great vices. She’s just trying to do what she thinks is best for her people, and it’s her pride and her ambition that make her the bad guy of the story. Indeed, she has just as many admirable traits as nasty ones, and her people respect and look up to her. She’s a good person at heart, she’s just ultimately misguided. “Misguided.” That, I think, is the keyword that defines most anti-villains. They are not “misunderstood,” mind you; that’s a different archetype. However, they are, ultimately, “misguided.” They are characters who want what they think is best not only for themselves, but usually for others, sometimes even MANY others. They aren’t driven by evil desires, such as vengeance, or a hunger for power, but by the simple desire to do what they think HAS to be done. It’s that steadfast belief that what they are doing needs to happen, for some greater good, that turns them into the bad guy of whatever story they are in. The best way to describe them by saying this: anti-heroes are the villains in other characters’ stories, and sympathetic villains, of course, are the antagonists by default. But Anti-Villains are characters who, in another story, would probably be seen as the Flawed Hero: they have their issues and problems, but they ultimately want something good. The only reason they aren’t is because the way they seek to achieve that desire goes too far against the grain. Anti-Villains, in essence, represent the opposite problem from Anti-Heroes: while the latter group of characters tells us that sometimes extreme measures are necessary to make things better, Anti-Villains warn us to make sure that any drastic measures we DO take are for the right reasons.

[idreamofplaid]

Finding Destiny

Square Filled: Plus Size for @spnkinkbingo & Late Presentation for @spnabobingo

Characters: alpha!Sam x omega!Reader; Madame Tremaine (OFC)

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Y/N always felt like an Omega. Life told her otherwise, until tonight.

Word Count: 3027

Created for @spnkinkbingo & @spnabobingo

You smelled like a garden had exploded on you, a garden with some miscellaneous spices and nature smells. Truth was, you smelled like a mess, but you’d been desperate. Living as a Beta was like being invisible. 

You were convinced it didn’t help that your body wasn’t fashion model thin, or thin at all for that matter, instead having generous soft curves in your breasts, hips, and thighs. You had spent the last ten years watching Alphas and Omegas pair up, claim each other, shower each other with their love, devotion, and commitment. It had left you feeling more and more lonely, and food was your coping mechanism. The result of that was more pounds added to a body you already thought was too large.

Meanwhile, with each passing year, you felt more and more like life was passing you by. You, too, wanted to be claimed. There were no Alpha tendencies in your makeup; you were sure you were an Omega. You longed to be cherished, protected, filled with pups. Your untapped maternal instincts were strong, and you wanted to have a mate, be a mate. The Beta lifestyle wasn’t yours, so how had you been born into it?

Initially, when your heat didn’t come. You were confused, followed by disappointed, then discouraged, and finally resigned. Periodically, throughout all these reactions, you were devastated. The devastation overtook you when you least expected it, and then mercifully would leave again so you could function and pretend to be a happy Beta.  Had it stayed with you constantly, no doubt you would have fallen into a deep depression. 

It was that unwanted and sometimes paralyzing sense of hopelessness which always returned due to your Beta status that had sent you to the establishment owned by Madame Tremaine. It was rumored that she could bring on a reluctant onset of the first heat. That’s what you were once again trying to convince yourself this was, abandoning your previous period of accepting your fate. That’s all it was, a delay. Your body just needed some encouragement, a little push to get your hormones in motion. That first heat was going to happen; it was just slow.

So, it was in that frame of mind that you entered her herb shop at the end of a narrow street in an unfashionable part of the city. Wooden shelves lined the walls, filled with glass jars of various sizes that contained materials of every description. Dried flowers hung from low hanging rafters, and a display case that was filled with what appeared to be rocks and gemstones ran the length of one wall.

The bell over the door had tinkled when you entered the shop, summoning Madame Tremaine from the rear room of the shop. She pushed aside a beaded curtain that hung in the doorway leading to the back. She sized you up, her eyes traveling over you from head to toe. You were wearing a full skirt and a peasant style blouse. It was a cute outfit, but you still felt inadequate and self conscious about your size. For a moment, you felt a little pathetic because you’d come here seeking her help at changing what nature, God, the universe, or whatever had decided should be your lot in life. 

She was, of course, sleek and dressed all in form fitting black pants and a black shirt that emphasized her long, graceful arms and fingers. She had adorned those arms and fingers with turquoise rings and silver bangles, while large silver hoops hung from her ears. You were thinking of turning around and walking right back out when she said, “What brings you to see me tonight?”

You were determined not to stutter in spite of your nervousness. You could at least pretend to have a fraction of the confidence this woman so clearly possessed. “I’ve heard you can help Omegas with the onset of their first heat.”

She looked at you again. “How old are you?” You hesitated, not wanting to answer her question. You definitely should have left. This was so embarrassing. She lifted her chin and gave a wave of her hand, causing her bracelets to jingle. “Never mind. I’m sure I have what you need. It’s just a matter of finding the right combination of smells that compose your scent. Your body will then react with them and produce the scent on its own, triggering your first heat.”

For the next two hours, she had experimented on you with her herbs, flowers, and ground spices. She began with the flowers, explaining to you, “Very often an Omega’s scent includes a floral note. We only need to find the right one, then move on to the other elements.” It wasn’t tuberose, jasmine, violet, magnolia, or plumeria. She tried at least seven others before giving up on the flowers.

She moved to a particular row of jars with purpose. “Perhaps we should try something sweet instead.” The next round of fragrances she applied to your skin consisted of honey, vanilla, chocolate, coconut, sugar, and caramel. She was beginning to look a little perplexed, making you feel like a failure all over again. Not only were you unable to find a mate, now this wasn’t working either; but you needed it too. You felt like this was your last chance. 

“How do you know it isn’t working, Madame?” You had absentmindedly grabbed your skirt and started to twist the fabric.

“Because I’m an Alpha; I could smell it if you were producing your own scent.” Of course she was an Alpha, all the confidence. Her tone had been a little sharper than she had intended. You were, after all, a paying customer. She shouldn’t let her frustration show. Madame softened her voice and tried a different approach. Perhaps you are a more rare type of Omega without the usual sweet or flowery smell. Let’s give something else a try.”

Next she went for a smaller set of jars that contained spices and pulled some tiny stone chips that were near a larger blue stone from the display case. First, she used a mortar and pestle to grind the stone chips then added some rosemary to the bowl, grinding it up as well, and finally sprinkling in some almond oil to bind it together. Your curiosity got the better of you and made you brave enough to ask, “Why did you add stones? They don’t smell.”

“Ah, but they do; it is just very subtle,” she answered, “and sometimes just the catalyst that is needed to activate the chemical process that will result in you producing your own scent.” She applied this mixture to the inside of your wrist. Still, the result was nothing. After that, she went through the motions of trying a few more things, but you knew with each passing minute this had been a huge waste of your hard earned money. 

You left her store and practically slinked to your car, wanting nothing more than to get home to your favorite robe and a glass of red wine. When you closed the door with a heavy thud, your eyes landed on the gas gauge. Dammit. It was almost on empty. You wouldn’t make it home without stopping for gas. Perfect. There would be one more humiliation before this night was through. Gas stations in this part of town didn’t tend to carry out transactions through the pay at the pump method. 

Perhaps your tendency to be invisible would play in your favor this time you thought as you pushed on the metal bar to open the glass door leading into the gas station. Your last shred of hope at maintaining your dignity had been destroyed when you’d pulled up to the pump and found a sign attached to it just as you’d expected. Pay Before You Pump. Now you had to go into this store smelling like a cheap whorehouse. 

You made your way to the counter as quickly as you could, hoping to just put down your money, dash back outside again, get your gas, and go. You mumbled $30 on pump 3 and reached for your purse. That’s when you heard it, a voice that was just the right amount of deep and smoother than the honey back at Madame Tremaine’s shop. “Where are your apples?”

The guy behind the counter looked up reluctantly from his handheld video game. “We don’t have any. Sold the last of them this morning.” He turned his attention back to his game, and you turned to see who had spoken. What kind of face went with that voice?

The answer was the kind of face you saw on magazine covers and movie screens. The man with the sexy voice tried with the clerk again. “But I smell…” Then the gorgeous hazel eyes in that handsome face caught yours, and he tilted his head causing his golden brown hair to fall over his forehead. “It’s you.” His eyes narrowed a little.

Then something happened that had never occurred in your life. You were overcome by the smells of mahogany, champagne, and leather. The smell washed through you, entering every cell in your body, causing slick to pool in your panties, and your knees to go weak. You were beginning to sink to the floor.

The kid behind the counter finally put down his video game. “Lady, are you okay?” He was a Beta. He couldn’t smell any of what was happening two feet from him. 

The mysterious Alpha caught you. He held you up while he put two twenties down on the counter. “For her gas.” He helped you out to your car, got you seated inside, then filled your tank. He walked back to you when he was done and leaned down to put his hand on your shoulder. The smell was overwhelming now. It was heady, more than if you’d drunk the champagne instead of just smelling it. 

The Alpha kneeled in front of you. That magnificent voice had softened when he spoke to you. “I don’t think you should drive. I’m going to call my brother to come get my car, and then I’ll drive you home.”

Your head was feeling too light to argue, and there was a twinge of feeling bordering on pain starting between your legs. You nodded. “Okay.” Just like that. You trusted him, trusted him completely. It felt right what he was doing, taking care of you. 

You closed your eyes and leaned your head back against the headrest. His voice sounded farther away, and you caught snippets of his conversation as you attempted to navigate all the emotional and physical feelings of your first heat. “Dean, i need you to come get the car.” Dean must be his brother. You missed the next part and then, “I’ll explain it all later. Just trust me. It’s never been more important.”

He returned to you and used that same soft tone he’d had with you before. “C’mon, let’s get you home. He lifted you like you weighed nothing more than a feather and carried you around to the passenger’s side of the car. He settled you in the seat and walked back around to take his place behind the wheel. Then, he turned to you. “I’m Sam.”  His eyes focused on yours again. “And you’re my Omega.”

You gave him directions to your house, and when you got there he carried you inside, across the threshold just like you were a bride. “Where’s your bedroom?” It didn’t seem at all strange to have this man you’d just met in your house, or to be giving him directions to your bedroom. You wanted him there. The idea of him leaving scared you a little bit. 

Sam put you down on your bed, and that fear bubbled up in your heart. You reached for him. “Don’t leave.” 

He took your hand. “I wasn’t going to leave. Just go outside the room so you can change for bed. Your smell is so strong. All I can smell is you. It’s going to bring on my rut. So, I should probably put some distance between us. But I’m going to stay. Make sure you’re okay.”

You squeezed his hand. “I’m not. I’m not okay. I need you. This is so…” A huge gush of slick ran down your thighs. You cried out. “Sam, please. I don’t know what’s happening.”

A look of concern shadowed his gray green hazel eyes. “Your heats haven’t been like this before?”

You had a nearly vise like grip on his hand now; it was starting to hurt, and you grabbed his forearm with your other hand. “I’ve never had a heat before. This is the first one.”

It took a couple of seconds for Sam to comprehend what you’d just said. Then a fierce, protective gentleness filled his eyes; he didn’t let go of your hand until he was on the bed with you, then he took you in his arms. “I’ve got you, my Omega. It’s gonna be okay. I’m here. I won’t leave you.”

“It hurts, Sam. Why does it hurt?” This wasn’t what you had imagined it would be like to be an Omega. They’re had been no one in your life to explain it to you, and you were sure the books you’d read must be exaggerating.

Sam stroked your hair, trying to soothe you. “It hurts because you need an Alpha. Your body wants to be knotted. You need an Alpha’s knot.”

You held onto him tightly. “Will that make it stop?” 

Sam whispered, “Yeah, that will make it stop.” He kept running his fingers through your hair, and then he growled. His hand stilled; his body was shaking with the effort to control himself. 

His growling and shaking surprised you, and you jumped. “Sam, what is it? What’s wrong?”

He doubled his efforts to steady himself and stopped his shaking. “My body needs you too.” His voice was much more gruff than it had been before. 

You raised your hand to sink your fingers into his hair, just as his were buried  in yours. “Make it stop, Sam. Make it stop for both of us.”

While he was taking off your clothes, it didn’t occur to you once to feel self conscious about your lack of a flat stomach, the fullness of your thighs, or any of the other parts of your body you considered to be an imperfection. He kissed each and every one of them, while telling you how perfect you were. Your Alpha made you feel beautiful. 

The touch of his hands was so gentle, even while you could feel the heat radiating off his skin. When his lips first touched yours, it was like when the match meet the candle wick, and the flame sparks to life. Sam kissed you for a long time, causing you to produce more slick, getting you ready for him. 

When at last he broke the kiss, you looked into those eyes with the ability to change color; you saw into him, found that deep place where no one but his Omega would ever be allowed to go. “Were we meant to be together, Sam?” 

He brushed his knuckles across your cheek. “Yeah, that’s how it works.” His eyes held yours, “I’ve been waiting for you so long.” The smell of leather was stronger now. It signaled the depth of the lust he was feeling, mixed with the more tender emotions.

You put your hand over his where it was still resting against your face. “It’s okay, Sam. I’m ready. Take me. Make me yours.”

Sam put his hands on the inside of your thighs and opened your legs. His eyes never left yours as he entered you slowly. The stretch pushed you to the limits of what you could take, and you knew it was nothing compared to what was to come when he gave you his knot. 

He moved inside you with a gentle rhythm that heightened your passion and your need for him. When you started to roll your hips in time with the movements he was making, Sam reached between your bodies and started to rub your clit. He gave you exactly what you needed, and an intense orgasm came crashing through you. 

While your body was still in the spasms of its release, Sam’s knot began to swell. “Yes, Alpha, yes. Please.”

Sam took you in his arms and rolled you to your side to face him while his knot continued to swell. He covered your face with soft kisses. “Are you okay?”

You clung to him, still afraid you might somehow lose him even though his body was firmly attached to yours. “Yes. This is what I’ve always wanted. You. I wanted you. I just couldn’t find you.” Tears started to slide down your cheeks. Everything about this night was overwhelming. 

Sam wiped away your tears, kissed your temple, and whispered in your ear, “Shh. i’m here. I’ve got you now, my sweet Omega.”

You buried your face in his neck. The smell of the leather was receding now, blending back in with the mahogany and champagne. “Are you sure I’m your Omega, Sam? I mean I know I must not look like the other Omegas you’ve been with.”

He held you closer to him. “Yes, I’m sure.” You felt a fresh wave of his seed pumping into your womb. Sam put his fingers under your chin and tilted your face up to look at him. “You are more beautiful than any woman I’ve ever seen.”

You smiled, and a different kind of tears filled your eyes. This time they didn’t fall. You felt secure. You felt wanted, and you felt claimed even though he hadn’t yet put his mark on you. He would though. You knew it. Sam would claim you, mark you, and you would be proud for everyone to see it. 

Sam brushed his thumb over your chin just below your lip. “What are you thinking, my Omega?”

You nodded just enough to kiss his thumb that was beneath your lips. “I’m thinking you were worth the wait.”

Everything: @gambitwinchester @princessmisery666 @onethirstyunicorn @peridottea91 @logical-princey @emilyshurley @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @fangirlxwritesx67 @waywardbaby @atc74 @ledzeppelinsbonzo @shaniquacynthia @mariekoukie6661 @tumbler-tidbits @67-chevy-baby @fandom-princess-forevermore @terrarium-jpeg @emoryhemsworth @crashdevlin @heycasbutt @jules-1999 @mrsdeannafuckingwinchester @cosicas-cuquis @sammyimpala-67 @queenoftheunderdark @dean-winchesters-bacon @mrs-meghan-winchester @timelordy-fangirl2 @sweetness47 @hobby27 @awesomesusiebstuff @kickingitwithkirk @sandlee44 @supernaturalgrandma @lonewolf471 @dawnie1988 @volleyballer519 @outcastedangel @kdfrqqg @lizette50 @sorenmarie87 @winchesterxfamilybusiness 

Sam/Jared: @girl-next-door-writes @stunudo @feelmyroarrrr @idabbleincrazy @evansrogerskitten @focusonspn @autumninavonlea @spnxbsessed @durinsbride @deansyahtzee @waywardnerd67 @fullmooner 

[mxgilray]

Loki Season 1 Thoughts

Overall, I really liked this series. It has some issues without question, but I sincerely don't think it's the dumpster fire so many viewers on this site treat it as. Did it go how I expected? Not at all? Did I enjoy the heck out of it and look forward to it every Wednesday? Hell yeah!

Loki's Good Guy Personality

A big complaint many have had with it is how much Loki's demeanor has changed and how his emotional growth feels rushed or his personality is ooc. Truth is, he saw his entire future, saw what his angry, power hungry, I-work-alone persona would get him in the end, and it snapped him back to reality. He has always been shown to be quite emotional and craving attention and lacking in self assurance, it's just in the past movies he's masked it with violence and fake narcissism, and he's always been a secondary character so his perspective is rarely shown. But if you really pay attention it's obvious he isn't truly villainous; we all know that, it's largely why he has such a huge fan base.

Right after meeting Mobius, Loki got an infodump of his future, saw his parents both die, found out that free will means jack shit, and learned he's absolutely powerless in this realm. On top of that, this is 2012 Loki, fresh off of being under Thanos' control, suddenly being shown that the guy who controlled him is going to end up killing him. Frankly,, I think it all broke Loki. He was too shook up by it all and by the sheer helplessness he found himself in at the TVA that he let all his barriers down momentarily. Just long enough for him to open up to Mobius about his motivation and his lack of self confidence. And you know what I bet? Loki felt relieved after talking to Mobius. A weight was lifted, because he bore his heart to someone and wasn't rejected or laughed at or treated like a psycho. And after letting his walls down fully, Loki didn't feel the need to put all of them back up. He stayed guarded around other people, but he didn't need to pretend around Mobius. Mobius has seen under the mask, so Loki doesn't feel pressure to perform as an all knowing, all powerful God around Mobius. That freedom is life changing.

People who gravitate towards broken, pseudo-villain characters do so because we relate to their internal conflict, their mental illness, their need to fake it around everyone close to them. Their turmoil and depression and self destructive behavior are familiar and we see ourselves reflected in their actions. Now, when a person really truly let's their guard down, drops all their layers of facade, and embraces themself, they tend to change demeanor and even personality pretty drastically. It's jarring in real life, so of course when it happens to a fictional character who you usually relate to it is going to be jarring, maybe even more so because it feels like a change you yourself would never go through. I know this sounds bad and people might get at me for it, but...

I believe the issue here is that a large part of Loki's fan base doesn't want him to get better. They don't want him to move past his mental illness, to learn how to cope with anger and disappointment in healthier ways, to be happy. They like his damaged persona, they like the internal conflict. Maybe it's because they're still at that low place themself and feel like a relatable character is getting taken away from them, maybe it's because they don't understand how much being at peace with yourself can alter a person and to them it feels like he's been changed too much. To those of us mostly on the up and up from battling depression and mental illness, it's comforting to see Loki getting a chance to be genuinely happy and accepting of himself.

Sylki and Lokius

First things first, I'm not anti anything. Ship what you want, idc. Personally, I do not see the Sylki dynamic as romantic, but I get why people read it that way. I thought the series did a good job of showing unrequited love, namely Loki falling for Sylvie and Sylvie feeling zero romance towards him. This was aware of his attraction and in the end used it as a distraction so she could get the upper hand. The show played up the potential romance because we are viewing things from Loki's perspective and he's become smitten as a kitten. I do think in the long run they'll have a more sibling-like dynamic, one Loki realizes that you can feel extreme love and care for a person without it being romantic. I enjoyed how the show explored their relationship, though I do wish they hadn't had every character under the sun mention their moment on Lamentis-1 like it was some big deal to bond with someone you're about to die with.

I'm bitter towards the development of Lokius. It had a strong start in the beginning, and in ep 5 had some potential reignited, but then they had Mobius not know who Loki is at the end. I'm still hoping they're playing the long game with this ship and that it'll come to fruition partway through season 2. The chemistry is there, and Mobius knows Loki very intimately and isn't put off by his past. Loki also feels much more at ease around Mobius than he does around Sylvie. It's the comfort of a deep loving bond with Mobius verses the nervousness of a new crush that he feels for Sylvie.

I don't think Loki is quite aware of his feelings for Mobius, simply because it's based in friendship and mutual respect and isn't a hot and heavy lust. Plus, as soon as he was away from Mobius he was thrown into a near death experience with Sylvie and developed a surface crush during their heart to heart. Since Loki's still figuring out what genuine feelings are beyond anger and sadness, he sees the simplistic crush he has on Sylvie as love and the intimate bond he's been forming with Mobius as friendship. He doesn't understand his own feelings yet, but I think he'll figure it out next season. I mean, he was probably already rethinking his feelings for her after she kissed and betrayed him, mentally kicking himself for expecting her to not pull a Loki betrayal like he would've in the past.

The Time Variance Authority

I really like the concept of the TVA, the structure of it, the methods they use, the deeply fucked way they recruit employees, the cult like motto, shady Miss Minutes who is definitely playing her own long game, and the blind acceptance TVA agents have of the Time Keepers' will. It's all very well done... until your dig into the core, aka He Who Remains. They built up the idea that the Time Keepers created the TVA to prevent a multiverse war and that they created agents to enforce their will. Then the creating agents turned out to be fake, the Time Keepers were fake, I expected the reason for the TVA's existence to be fake to. It felt too simple to have it genuinely exist just to keep the multiverse in check. Why the anonymity, unless it's to keep from having agents target and prune versions of himself which.. songs like a decent solution. HWR made it sound as though the multiverse war was just a bunch of versions of himself screwing shit up, so why isn't the TVA's focus on eradicating every other variant of this guy? Sounds a lot easier and nicer than fucking with the free will of every other living being. So either Marvel made a bad call when choosing what HWR's motive was for creating the TVA, or he was lying about it all to cover up something sinister.

Overall Storyline

I'm fairly happy with the plot as a whole. There were some pacing issues and I think a few missed chances for deeper conversations between various characters. While I enjoyed the Loki variants, I honestly would've been happier seeing Tom playing most the variants (except Kid Loki and Classic Loki since they are clearly different age ranges). If there is supposed to be one sacred timeline, it seems off to me that Lokis would be allowed to vary so extremely without it causing a nexus event(an alligator, whose nexus wasn't that he's an animal who obviously can't do any magic much less command Thanos' army, but that he ate someone's cat) and not just in appearance but in life path (ie boastful Loki collected all the infinity stones but it wasn't till he had 6 that he caused a nexus event even though him gaining control of the Soul, Power, and Time stones should've each caused nexus events since on the sacred timeline he never interacts with those 3 and taking any one of them would've fucked up a lot of other timeline parts)

I love the display of Lokis raw power, and 2012 Loki coming to the realization that he's way more powerful than he ever thought. And it wasn't just Classic Loki who spent thousands of years alone honing his skills, 2012 Loki reversed time on a goddamn falling building! I also liked the small magic, the fireworks, the tablecloth blanket, Loki yanking Sylvie away from HWR with just magic.

As someone who is both bisexual and genderfluid, I would've really loved more concrete representation. The comment about there never being another female Loki hit me in the gut; it undermined the Easter egg "Sex: Fluid" on Loki's TVA file. With how big a deal Sylvie being female was made out to be throughout the season, I expected her gender to play a key role in taking down the head of the TVA, like it was foretold that only a female Loki could end it all or some shit.

I don't mind the idea of Loki finding love in a straight passing relationship. I don't even mind the selfcest all that much. It just feels so obvious to me that Sylvie is written as not having any romantic inclination towards Loki, while Mobius is clearly written as falling in love with someone he shouldn't and trying to maintain an heir of professionalism to keep from wrecking his bond with Loki. I really really hope they come through on season 2 and give Lokius the canon relationship and proper representation they deserve.

Mmkay I thinks that's all the thoughts I've got right now. If you've been feeling cheated or clowned by how things went this season, maybe my perspective of things can help ease your pain.

[madd-information]

Have you watched Kati Morton's new video about Maladaptive Daydreaming? What do you think about it?

[intro]

For years, I believed maladaptive daydreaming to be a form of dissociation, but it could also be added to the DSM as its own diagnosis, since it does have its own set of unique symptoms. Either way, at this time maladaptive daydreaming is not listed in the DSM as a diagnosable mental illness.

I was concerned because her last couple videos on the topic were very confusing to watch and seemed to conflate MD with the inner-worlds of DID.  It looks like she has done some more research on it and is going to make a more informed video. This is great and I deeply appreciate that she’s taking the time to do a proper dive into this. 

The closest diagnosis would be DPDR, or depersonalization derealization disorder. And this is the diagnosis given to those of us who struggle with dissociation. [explanation of DPDR]

Gonna need you to source that Katie, I’ve never heard an MD researcher say something like this.  When they talk about MD they call it a behavioral addiction with OCD features which is related to dissociative absorption (different from derealization and depersonalization, these two dissociative experiences are not particularly significant in MD, though they can happen.)

These experiences are extremely common. It's estimated that half of all adults have had at least one episode of DPDR. 50% of people. That is a huge amount of people.

Cool but not sure it’s at all relevant to the video topic. 

Also, it's important to mention that in 2016, four researchers put together the Maladaptive Daydreaming Scale, or MDS. This is a 14-item self-reported scale, meaning that you as the patient answers 14 questions based on your own maladaptive daydreaming experience.

It’s a 16 item scale now, it was changed very early on and has been 16 for years.  This is a very small and forgivable knitpick, just fyi. 

The MDS focuses on the content of our daydreams, how intense the urge to continue daydreaming is, and how much it impairs our ability to function in our lives, and the benefits and costs of our daydreaming. I am not personally familiar with this scale, nor have I used it in my practice, but I've linked the research article in the description if you wanna learn more about it.

A good description, and here’s that link again for anyone who wants to read about the finer details of this scale. 

When it comes to maladaptive daydreaming, it isn't just feeling out of body or environment. We can create very intense and detailed daydreams with plots, characters, and very lifelike issues and storylines. Some people will get the plots for their daydreams from their real lives, while others can create a utopian place unlike their current experience.

Yep, decent overview of content, though content doesn’t matter that much.  Also, use of “we”.  Is Katie Morton an MDer or was this a creative choice?  I don’t know, just a passing thought. 

We can find ourselves staying in these daydreams for various amounts of time. And some of my patients have reported staying in them for hours. And many of you have let me know that you struggle to get out of them at all, spending days in this other life that we've created.

Yep, good overview, but more importantly she’s listening to her patients and the feedback of MDers in her audience.

...there are many causes for this, and the first I wanna address is trauma triggers. If we've experienced a trauma in our life, things that remind us of that time or situation can pull us into a flashback, cause us to dissociate, or in many cases push us into our maladaptive daydreams.

When our brain and the rest of our nervous system feels overwhelmed and unable to deal with what's going on in the moment, it can pull us out of our current situation through dissociation. I always talk about that, like our brain pulling the ripcord. And it can also utilize maladaptive daydreaming. It's a way to cope or get through an overwhelming situation when we don't have other skills to help calm our nervous system down. So we just rely on what we know, and that can be daydreaming or dissociating. It's almost like this coping skill protects us from having to feel traumatized again and so it takes us away, you know, drops us into a much safer and happier place.

Trauma is always talked about first when people do overviews of MD.  She’s not wrong but just to add more information;  about a quarter of MDers report trauma, the other 75(ish)% don’t.  It’s a significant number but trauma is not the only pathway to MD.  Sometimes people walk away from these videos feeling like “well, I don’t have any trauma, maybe I don’t really have MD”.  That’s not a comment on what Katie has presented, she does go into other things below, just adding on.

Another cause or trigger can be high levels of stress or anxiety. We can slowly feel ourselves become more and more overwhelmed until our brain pulls us out of our reality and into a new one, aka our maladaptive daydreams. In short, we can want to stay in these daydreams to feel better and safer, but it can get in the way of us functioning in our life.

Yep

[audience anecdotes]

...Which is why even the term maladaptive daydreaming is used. Maladaptive means it's not providing adequate or appropriate adjustment to the environment or situation. So the daydreaming is only holding off the bad things. It's not actually making anything better or helping us process any of the upset. It's really just a temporary check-out, which can be helpful sometimes, but if it's happening all the time or making it hard for us to focus at work, school, or with our friends and family, we should find other, better ways to cope.

Exactly.

Which moves us into how we can better cope so that we don't get sucked into our daydreams for hours, days, or even weeks. And first up is mindfulness. Now, I know that term is overused now and super annoying but in order for us to know when we even need to use other coping skills, we have to know when the daydreaming urges are happening. So often we aren't aware of what we were feeling or thinking until it's too late and we're already pulled into our daydream. And at that point it's more difficult or even impossible for us to pull ourselves out. Therefore, we have to start being more aware of what we're going through.

[continues explanation]

Perfection.

And so next is figuring out ways to calm our system down. This can take the form of a distraction technique like going for a walk or organizing a part of our home, coloring, watching a show, playing a video game, you name it. These calming things could also be more process-based, things like journaling or talking to your therapist or a friend about it, or even using an impulse log. [Continues with calming things]

Good examples, MD researchers specifically recommend keeping a log.

We're also going to have to find some coping skills that we can use when we're starting to feel overwhelmed and wanting to go back into the daydream. Maybe we hold an ice cube in our hands, clap our hands, count the number of things in the room that are blue, brown, black… whatever works for you, do it.

Good stuff. 

And it's okay for something not to work. We just have to try it to know and then move on to something else.

Important point to make, happy to see this. 

Once we have a few things that work, write them down in your phone or on a post-it note so that you can see it and be reminded when you need it. We will also need to come up with some ways to pull ourselves out of the daydream. And I know this is gonna be harder and we may even wanna call upon helpful and supportive people in our lives to assist us.

Good advise. 

We could, because it's our daydream, right, we could put a big door in our daydream and we can choose to go through it and pull ourselves out, or have people in the daydream that remind us of our real life and tell us to go back.

A good suggestion.  Q, on the Parallel Lives Podcast (I can’t remember which episode off the top of my head), did something like this by turning to his characters and saying “ok, take 5 guys, we’ll pick it up at xtime”, and many people have found that to be a clever and helpful method. 

Now, I know this is really, really hard… which rolls into my final tip, which is to work with a therapist to heal from the trauma or to learn how to better cope with the anxiety or stress we're feeling. Working to heal or process through the reason our maladaptive daydreaming exists in the first place will ensure that we don't need it anymore.

Absolutely seek professional support if you can. 

... if we heal the issue we're struggling to cope with, the urge to use those unhelpful coping skills will go away altogether.

[outro]

I think this last point will frighten a lot of MDers.  It’s probably the brevity of the video that didn’t allow her to really expand on this, and I certainly don’t want to put words into her mouth that she may not have intended.  Don’t be afraid of losing your MD.  “Curing” Maladaptive Daydreaming does not mean “I’ll never see my world again.”  You’ll always have the capacity to daydream like this, you were born this way, but it *doesn’t* have to be maladaptive. Like overeating, you will never not eat, you will fix your relationship with food. 

Good video overall, brief but accurate and includes the standard helpful advise. 

[mc-critical]

Hellooo 🤗 First, I have been following your blog for a while and I love your blog so much! I hope you are doing well :) And my ask to you can be a little bit complex. I have been thinking about why Hatice chose not to kill Hurrem when she kidnapped her for 2 years. I know hurrem obviously can't die for the history :) and they had to change the scenario for Meryem's absence but I want to think this in the my universe, some suggest that her whole purpose was to revenge suleyman, more than hurrem. Because in ep 85, she said to him that she wanted to kill hurrem just because she wanted suleyman to suffer and feel the same pain as her. And some people say that it's because she just couldn't do this because she is still so...merciful. In short, I sometimes have troubles to understand the dynamics and the bond between hurrem and hatice. They are both very complex characters and there is so many hatice hate in this fandom and I am saying this as an hurrem fan :) So I would be very happy if you can answer my question and this complex dynamics between them 😊💕

Hey there! 🤗 Thank you for your words and yes, I'm fine. :)

I agree that the whole abduction plot was clearly done in order to excuse Meryem's departure in-universe in some way. And Hürrem couldn't be killed because of historical accuracy and the whole lot of stuff she had to do in the script afterwards. She couldn't just die like that, they had to wrap her arc up in some way and both the consequences of the abduction and S04 itself were very important for Hürrem's character.

That aside, I don't think the writers gave us a clear cut reason as to why Hatice didn't kill Hürrem. I always considered the way Hürrem survived to be a plot hole for the sake of the plot and time constraints the team faced by the end of the season. There were many cases the show abused the attacks of Hürrem done by her enemies, they sometimes turned out to be so miscalculated and so absurd that Hürrem would always survive. They became so much, we have seen such scenarios so many times now that Hürrem surviving is something I would take for granted by now and wouldn't question for that and that alone. The survival, in practice, is as contrived as it can be and knowing the difficulties behind the scenes, I refused to think of the how and the why of the fact alone.

However, yes, the abduction was not only a way to cover up for Meryem's departure, it ultimately became the conclusion of Hatice's whole character arc, culminating in one last move against Hürrem.

After she forgave Ibrahim about the infidelity, their wounds started to heal and they finally had the chance to start over. And it seemed to pay off... until he died. Ibrahim's death was a new low in Hatice's arc which caused her to lose hope in her own life. She was ready to end it... but not before she got rid of the object of her rage. Thing is, even though Hatice acted against Hürrem before and fully stood against her by S03 for multiple reasons (I elaborated on all that and the many nuances of Hatice's character here), we could say that her wanting to kill Hürrem was the turning point of her storyline and arc in the second half of the season. Before that Hatice's actions against Hürrem were primarily motivated by her threatening everything Hatice cared about at once - both dynasty and family and Hürrem taking Valide's chambers was the last nail of the coffin, which is why her first true move against Hürrem was done through methods the tradition and the harem stood by. (Firuze) I doubt she wanted to kill her then, it was all about the protection of Hatice's personal attachments. She wanted to put her in line, to make her stop, to defeat her for everyone to return to their peaceful lives. What she wanted most of all was a stable family with Ibrahim. And after Ibrahim died, the chance for one was gone. Hatice knew well of Hürrem's enmity with Ibrahim and didn't know of Ibrahim's speeches, hence she didn't have anyone else to blame other than Hürrem and Süleyman. After everything began to go well, Ibrahim's death once again destroyed her "perfect picture", she lost the person that became the bounder of dynasty and family after she forgave him, her everything, a loss for the state, as well. (she praised all his achievements during campaigns after he died) The needs of the dynasty fully became her own personal motives by the time Ibrahim was dead. She already had enough rage against Hürrem at this point, but now that rage increased all the more. That rage, close to hatred, became directed at Süleiman, as well, for taking such a devastating decision, disregarding Hatice's own values and life in her eyes and reminding her of all the death and trauma she had experienced, so the only thing she would do, is move against them both. Yes, Süleiman took away a piece of Hatice's life, now it is her turn to take away a piece of his life. Her enmity against Hürrem took a wholly different turn. Now she truly is the object of all her misery and pain, to the point she thought that her coming in the harem to begin with caused destruction everywhere around - it destroyed everything, according to Hatice, including Süleiman, as she told him in her last scene.

There's also another thing we should look at- all of Hatice's actions in E83, which I feel are very detrimental for her S03B arc. It almost feels like Hatice is in a conflicted state of mind - she lost a lot from Ibrahim's death, she no longer had a point of existing and yet, she wants those who caused her pain to suffer, she wants to end them. She feels that Ibrahim's death is a gross injustice that has to be avenged and yet, she wants to suffer alone with herself, alone with her own pain. Her suicide attempt in the same episode "marries" these two states of mind and puts Hatice's later actions into context - Şah saving her and her promise to end Hürrem is a major reason why Hatice kept going, because it's a modicum of support she hasn't gotten from this person for a long time. It's a promise to fix what has passed. Hürrem's elimination would "fix" what has passed in Hatice's eyes, it would be a natural right, to say the least. Şah saving Hatice gave her the only motivation to live and that's one reason why Hatice fixated so much in it. And if we put her growing depression in the mix, we see that she didn't really get the chance to heal from such big loss. No one truly managed to alleviate her pain or to understand her, everyone was only expecting her to move on, to get over it, without actually doing anything helpful, because "time heals", now doesn't it? In a point Hatice begins to view any action that appear to try "alleviating her pain" as a forced interference in her own life by creating various situations (like Şah redecorating her castle, the exile in Manisa, the marriage with Hüsrev Pasha etc.) for her to adapt in without really considering how she actually felt. She couldn't cope with Ibrahim's death in a healthy way, so the only thing left of her was this wound that kept growing, instead of healing. She was fueled by promises of an end to her misery and will for revenge, but when these promises weren't being fulfilled, she fell even further into despair and acting against the ones who caused her suffering became her only coping mechanism. Which culminated in the abduction.

I know that the writers tried their best to weave a mystery out of this whole plot line, but Hatice being the one behind the abduction wasn't surprising in the slightest - I always saw it as a desparate move of hers to get rid of Hürrem, in a way Süleiman would never predict she would be capable of in her right mind, in a way no one could stop her from doing what she must. Hatice admitted that this was done in order for Süleiman to feel what she felt, to fuel him with false promises the way they all fueled her (see the last Hatice and SS scene before her death) and finish it all by herself, by finally, finally doing what should havе done long ago. The fact that no one knew what happened exactly is something I think Hatice would definetly pull in her most broken state, aside from the sloppy writing, because when everything is kept under wraps, the fate of Hürrem is all in her hands and she would deal with her successfully and effortlessly, without anyone managing to prove anything. This was her revenge, this was the way she would finish it. 

I honestly don't understand her not killing her, aside from the plot convenience, because at this point.. oh yes, Hatice would absolutely kill her and as I mentioned before, she already wanted to kill her, to eliminate what has become the root of all the problems in the family and in the harem and again, take a piece of Süleiman's life as he did with her. Simply putting Hürrem in her place as she wanted in some moments of S02 and on a stronger level in all of S03A wouldn't cut it anymore. But then again, Hatice did tell Hürrem many times throughout S03B that she can make her suffer in a way she would beg for her death, as shown with her doing the whole thing with the herbs. She probably wanted to do this first and then kill her and Hürrem just... succeeded to escape in the meantime? I would've totally believed this was the case if we didn't get these little hints from Hatice in Bali Bey's interrogation in E102: there she said that she wanted to avenge Ibrahim's death so much, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't succeed. That could mean so many things. It sure didn't mean Hürrem's escape, because she escaped a year later (confirmed by E103), so there must be another thing that stopped her. While Hatice is an overally ethical character, she wouldn't be all that merciful at this point of the show, because of all the reasons I stated above and the fact that she has ordered an execution before. (Nigar) Maybe Hürrem showed or told her something that stopped Hatice from doing it? Maybe Hatice found out that that this whole thing made her more miserable? The most probable reason for me is what she hinted at in her last scene which indeed has more to do with Süleiman than with Hürrem: maybe she saw all the unsuccessful attempts to kill Hürrem and wanted to put her in a place they could never find her in instead and take her away from SS and everyone else, to hit him where it hurt. To let him live with her unsure fate. For him to burn inside everyday, without the person he would do everything for, without knowing whether she lived or died, just like Hatice never got to know where Ibrahim's grave was and never got the chance to get over her pain. She didn't succeed to get rid of Hürrem, so she might as well do that instead. That might have been her last resort.

Because throughout all of S03B, Hatice was empty inside. She had one driving feeling that probably got bruised quite a bit after she abducted Hürrem. Complete hopelessness might have gotten over her and she may have wanted to give up the fight altogether. Killing Hürrem was apparently a hopeless cause. Happiness and piece once more were apparently a hopeless cause. She couldn't avenge Ibrahim and the only thing left was say one last goodbye with her sister, calling back on her wish for a calm family, and then confront the other member of the family left, who seemingly screwed everything up. I would say that Hatice realized that it was SS who was the decider of everyone's fates in the end and that he made so many problematic decisions that only made everyone around him suffer and that is connected with the impact Hürrem had in their lives.

[I agree that Hatice and Hürrem had a very complex dynamic that went through detailed development throughout three seasons and both of them had complex reasons to do what they did. Believe me, I never got this striking amount of Hatice hate I encounter in the fandom either, especially because these haters do so little effort to understand her character.]

[funkymbtifiction]

Character and Neurosis

These profiles have a more negative slant than a lot of Enneagram write-ups, for the reason of ‘shocking’ you into self-awareness of the destructive habits of each Enneagram type. It’s also useful to remember: the healthier you are as this type, the less you will identify with the more ‘extreme’ points of these personalities. A healthy 4 may identify with the sense of self-alienation and rejection from the outside world, but not the perpetual unhappiness. A 6 may identify with the extreme logic / caution but not the neurotic paranoia. An 8 may identify with the need to ‘be against’ but not the pathological aggression. Etc.

It’s about evaluating your deeper impulses, defense mechanisms, and the lies you tell yourself and not focusing primarily on behaviors.

Enneagram 1: Anger and Perfectionism

Enneagram 2: Pride and the Histrionic Personality

Enneagram 3: Vanity, In-Authenticity and the Marketing Orientation

Enneagram 4: Envy and the Depressive Masochistic Character

Enneagram 5: Avarice and Pathological Detachment

Enneagram 6: Cowardice, Paranoid Character & Accusation

Enneagram 7: Gluttony, Fraudulence, and Narcissistic Personality

Enneagram 8: Sadistic Character & Lust

Enneagram 9: Psycho Spiritual Inertia and the Over-Adjusted Disposition

The path to spiritual awareness and healing comes from learning to recognize these tendencies in yourself with enough awareness to notice each time your lies and defense mechanisms kick into place. This kind of self-observation allows you to grow into total awareness of yourself at all times, and recognize the CHOICE you face in giving in to your instinct (your number) or whether you will choose to do the opposite, in an effort of self-transformation. (The 5 allowing self to engage, rather than distance itself; the 2 asking for what they need, rather than only giving all the time; the 9 saying “no” when it doesn’t want to do that.)

Enneagram teachers disagree on how to grow yourself, but all agree that self-awareness and total honesty as regards your true motives is crucial. Many suggest a period of self-observation and journaling in retrospect, looking at various situations in which you can provide exact examples of when the outside world ‘threatened’ you into using your coping mechanisms (of your core and wing). This retrospective self-evaluation will enable you to see how your number’s methods have worked in the past, to further bring you into present self-awareness. The path forward from that is up to you -- some choose building from the inside out through internal change (reflection, meditation, self-questioning), others alter their behavior first (eg: doing the opposite of what their first inclination is, to break the cycle).

Good luck!

[writingonesdreams]

Novel prep tag game

WIP Stormkeeper new version

I always end up doing this thingy when the concept is changing XD this like my, what, 6th novel prep tag? Always helps.

FIRST LOOK

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

Cultural scientist Acacia can finally realize her dream of doing field notes in different mage regions, but has to team up with a cold and judgemental bodyguard and his careless dragon-shifting brother in the process.

The story is basically about three exceptional people that don't fit in in various ways - Wes by nature, Kyler by force and Acacia because of her interests - and how they deal with it.

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

One novel, maybe a series later on.

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

Trains, mountains, cities, lakes and fog, spirts, sandstorms and hurricanes, rain. 

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

Naruto, Frozen 2, Mash, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Star Wars, Atla, Avatar, The greatest Showman. 

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel

MAIN CHARACTER

6. Who is your protagonist?

The protagonist Acacia drives the story with her goal of acquiring field notes for her research. But both Kyler and Wes are main and pov characters.

Acacia is analytical scientist and a imaginative dreamer, passionate but insecure inside. Her quick mind and abstract philosophic thought process is hard to keep up with.

7. Who is their closest ally?

Her reluctant bodyguard Kyler is son of one of the most significant Pulsor families and the most powerful and dedicated Pulsor mage (controls lighting) of his generation - but rather cold and closed off.

Kyler's younger brother Wes is the reincaratnion of a dragon - the rarest and most ancient spirits - basically a god. Mischievous, reckless but cunning, he has never been allowed to leave home before.

8. Who is their enemy?

There are no enemies per se. There are obstacles, energy thieves and Phatoms on the way, people that mean harm when they see someone different, but there is no antagonist. 

9. What do they want more than anything?

Acacia wants to make ethnographic research on the similarities between magic types and the ways of expression and attitude that add up to be the same thing - people living their lives and looking at the world through the taught lenses of their respective magical culture. 

10. Why can’t they have it?

Doing research in different regions is hard, because travelling between regions is limited and dangerous. There are Phatoms, energy thieves and people that hate differences and loathe people interested in magic not their own. 

In the end the biggest obstacle is probably the way hybrid magicians are loathed - it’s considered a betrayal and weakness not to follow one’s born in type and learn other ones as well. Something Acacia loves, and other people like Wes could use.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

Kyler believes he has failed. Wes that he is not enough. Acacia that magic is the most magical thing. 

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Commissioned art:

Kyler / Acacia / Wes

PLOT POINTS

13. What is the internal conflict?

Acacia’s internal conflict is mostly about staying true to her belief that different magics can coexist and learn from each other. She is the impact and main driving character of the story - she changes the others and struggles to stay true to herself and her love for different magics and learning from them. 

Kyler’s conflict is about his perfectionalism that was recenltly ruined by his kindapping by the Shadow Cult that forced a magic upon him he hates and he can’t forgive himself for being weak enough to succumb to it. It's something that was forced upon him but became part of him nonetheless.

Wes deals with his original spirit memories not returning as they should.

14. What is the external conflict?

Acacia’s external conflict is about her love for Sight, ability to see nature spirits on another plane of existence and the danger she might lose connection to reality and her body if she spends too much time in it. 

Kyler’s conflict is dealing with the very real consequences of Shadow Craft magic being now part of him. It’s always there when he is torn or angry or hurt, crawling under his skin and he hates he can’t control it completely. 

Wes’s conflict is about finding a balance between his love for his family and the human world and the foreign yearning for his wilder dragon side. 

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

For Acacia to lose her connection to her body by not being able to stay in the moment. 

For Kyler it would losing control of Shadow Craft and having it rule him.

For Wes it would be being abondoned by his family and brother and losing the life he has when his memories come back and he finds out about his spirit life. 

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

No magic is really bad. Or good. The key is balance and intent.  

17. Do you know how it ends?

I can envision several ending scenes that would fit, they all mostly fit together. 

BITS AND BOBS

18. What is the theme?  

The main theme is self-worth, from self-understanding, acceptance of who you are with all the sides and flaws and yearnings and self-love and confidence in who you are and going after what resonates with you. Keeping the storm inside you alive so to say. 

19. What is a recurring symbol?  

Storms? XD The symbols representing each of the four main magics are moon sicle, sun, lightning bolt and a spiral. 

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

It’s set in modern age in a made up country divided into four regions accoriding to its dominating magic practice. These are also very different in landscapes - from mountain village of Pulsors, skyscapers of Aurals, lake bungallows of Sensors to deserts of Resonants. 

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

The big tentpole scenes are pretty sure, the rest I will figure as I go. 

22. What excited you about this story?  

The way I can use magic types as metaphors for fictional cultures and explore their related views and approaches. The different value systems are much clearer in such a excessive example. 

Also all my favourite tropes fit into the story! From rivals to lovers, brothers, trio dynamics, gradual friendships, bodyguards, spirits, Shifters, reincarnations, dragons, healing, deeling with the fixed and growth mindset, perfectionalism and vulnerbility, how to stay in the present moment, how to find balance, different ways to express emotions, how to deal with differences, understanding vs tolerance vs acceptance, how to find - cope - stay true as well as have faith and confidence in who you are...all questions I'm personally very curious about.

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!  

Building and living with characters in countless AUs, finding their arcs and a story to best realize them, magic system, themes and thematic questions I want to explore, finding a story to frame those, brainstorming, outlining and hopefully writing before the idea loses its spark. 

***

Tagging if you want to play: @catharticallysarcastic @akindofmagictoo @estrella-writings @zielenbloesem @waysofink

[chalkrevelations]

OK, moving along with Bad Buddy Ep 2, Part 2/4, and first of all, due diligence: I’ve watched through the end, and there are definitely spoilers for things that happen all the way through the show in here, so if you haven’t watched yet and you want to see it unspoiled, drive by now and circle back when you’ve finished watching it.

SO. We open on Wai – the human-to-Pran translator, apparently, and I need so much pre-show fic exploring the Pran & Wai relationship, y’all - inspecting the box of dumplings that someone hung on Pran’s doorknob that left him buffering in the dorm hallway at the end of Part 1. A little bit, there’s this feeling like Wai had to inspect the box for explosives, given how dubiously Pran’s been eying it, maybe because it wasn’t shrink-wrapped, and who knows who’s had their fingers all over it? Seriously though, this has the potential to be the emotional equivalent of a bomb for Pran, given the reaction we see him have to it, and the reaction we’ll continue to see him have to similar gifts in this ep, and that’s really got nothing to do with Pat and everything to do with Pran. For now, the box of dumplings receives the Wai Seal of Approval, Wai informs Pran that someone is hitting on him, and Pran insists it’s just a thank you. It’s a good thing you have a human-to-Pran translator, my friend, because there’s a guy living across the hall from you who’s daydreaming of your fantastic rack and great ass, and he’s at least half-correct, so you should listen to Wai on this one. It appears that our core group of Architecture secondary backup hobbits is at lunch at the curry restaurant again, although they don’t seem very concerned about any hot chicks, being distracted by the topic of Pran’s new stalker secret admirer, who’s clearly calling him “dumpling.” Sadly, everyone will miss the opportunity to call Pran “dumpling” for the entire rest of the show, so there’s some running joke potential lost.  : (  Pran continues to insist it’s nothing, because it’s clearly a guy, because look at that male particle he’s using in his note. This leads the Arch hobbits - and I want to emphasize this, because these guys get accused of being trash friends later on when Pran’s Big Gay Romance is exposed - to scoff at the idea that there’s any problem with this, I mean, what, Pran, do you have a problem being hit on by a guy? Wai, practically giggling, asks, “You like him, don’t you?” which is a little fast, my dude, those best be some really fantastic dumplings. There’s more random teasing, but meanwhile, Pran spots Pat and the Engineering secondary backup hobbits at a table outside, and I’m going to assume Pat is the one who hasn’t checked in like he’s supposed to, since Arch is finishing up lunch and Eng is just looking at menus. Cut to outside, where Pat is going on about how very tiring it is to be as hot as he is, while his friends laugh at him, as they should. Back inside, Pran is all, well, fuck me, now I have to maneuver us all out of this, because once again, I’m the only responsible person involved in Ridiculous Plan No. 2. Pran hustles them out, briefly catching Pat’s eye. Pat, still being ranked on by Mo, freezes, looks vaguely horrified – that’s what you GET for not checking in, dumbass – and grabs the menu, loudly insisting that all his friends pay attention to him and not their mortal enemies walking out of the restaurant behind them because he has an idea for a song, presumably for them to play at the Freshy Day band competition: Chicken Curry, Pork Curry, Shrimp Curry, Sausage Curry – can they make a song out of that? Somebody at the table thinks it sounds too dirty, which WHAT, and why do I have any emotional stake in these dumbasses? Korn, the paragon of dumbassery, thinks that it’s possible, mentions some horrible metaphor about being your mom’s best recipe and proceeds to faux weep on Mo’s shoulder. Frankly, he’s almost suspiciously performative – this is an act I would expect in an Ep 12 flashback, when he’s in on the game, because this is awfully extra and makes him look like he’s intentionally pulling focus, just like Pat was trying to do. At any rate, he certainly does distract from Pran, Wai, and the rest of Architecture, so thanks, Korn, I guess?

We later see Pran walking down the dorm hallway back to his room, talking on his phone, and we don’t get any actual indication of who he’s talking to, but my brain defaulted to Wai, because he’s clearly closer to Wai than anyone else in Architecture, I never once considered that he’d be this open to his parents, and I don’t know that he has any other close friends at this point. He good-naturedly tells whoever is on the other end of the line to stop teasing, they wouldn’t like it if it was them being hit on – well, that’s one assumption to have, my guy – and then hastily wraps up the convo when he notices another package hanging on his doorknob, presumably some kind of sweet, because it comes with a note telling him not to forget to have some dessert after his meal. Once again, it really seems like he doesn’t know how to deal with this, which is interesting given he has enough social acumen and is popular enough to have been elected Architecture class president right out of the gate as a freshman. Is he silently freaking out like this behind an impenetrable mental barrier every time he has to interact with someone, or is it specifically focused on romantic/emotional stuff? I would tend to think this is romantic/emotionally focused, because he’s not at all subtle about his reaction, here - he just stands there for a minute, blinking at the package, and I know I keep describing his reaction to these overtures as buffering, but it really is like the little computer display wheel is just spinning, spinning, spinning right behind his eyes. Nanon is doing an impressive amount of work with his face in these bits even as he’s ostensibly doing nothing with it. (I guess you could say he’s doing nothing with it, rather than not doing anything with it.) I find it hard to believe Pran could get away with this in social interactions, although he’s probably had to develop a charming and engaging mask to keep up his super-achiever successful image, one that he doesn’t need to use in these particular instances because he’s by himself and doesn’t have anyone there he has to perform for (read: ANYONE AT ALL. I suppose it’s some relief that he isn’t so far gone he has to perform for himself, even when no one else is there – that he can allow himself this space and freedom at least when he’s alone). I think it’d be easy to extrapolate Pran closing himself off romantically/emotionally after the trauma of having his entire life upended and everything familiar taken away from him essentially for falling in love with the wrong person, in a way that makes what’s happening now unfamiliar and unpracticed, even if it’s not actively threatening - which, given his experiences, it also could be. OTOH, he does go a bit deer in the headlights in a later ep during the presentation to get funding to rebuild the bus stop, and Pat has to rescue him, although I don’t remember offhand how similar that particular reaction is to this – I guess I’ll see when I get there again. It may be unfamiliar situations in general, instances where he feels like he doesn’t have everything under control, which could include romantic/emotional situations, but also could have unfamiliar social contexts under the same umbrella. (I … huh. I wonder if it’s been Wai’s job to rescue Pran in overwhelming social situations for the past few years, particularly given the way Pran does look to him for help interpreting some of these social/romantic cues in this episode. I need SO MUCH pre-show fic looking at the Pran & Wai relationship.)

Also, I’ll note that Pran doesn’t really look happy about what’s happening even once he finishes processing.

Anyway, on the other side of the sticky note, there’s also an invitation to join his stalker secret admirer on the roof to look at the beautiful moon at 9pm the next night, which Safe reads out loud over lunch the next day, and the Arch hobbits ooh and ahh. There’s some more good-natured teasing, but they’re clearly excited for Pran – I think more excited than he is for himself. Wai is a tiny bit serious and asks whether Pran wants to meet this guy. Pran asks his human-to-Pran interpreter if the guy is going to think Pran likes him if Pran shows up. Wai tells him that, of course, the guy’s going to think that, but Pran still ought to go meet him, because that way, if Pran doesn’t like him, he can tell him in person and end it right there. Unless he actually turns out to be interested … Which is, honestly, the most shockingly mature way of approaching any kind of interpersonal interaction that I’ve heard from anyone on the show, so far. Anyway, Wai opens up the possibility that Pran’s falling for his stalker’s secret admirer’s sweet words, eliciting cries of “Sweetie” from everyone, along with even more teasing, and I have to admit, if I was Pran, I would want to KILL THEM ALL for being SO ANNOYING, but you can’t accuse them of being unsupportive. (I mean, you could, and people do, but those people are objectively Wrong On The Internet.)

Cut to Pran at five past nine – I cannot believe this boy is late for anything, his nerves must be a wreck – standing at the door that leads out to the roof and checking the time on The Watch of Significance. Yes. He is still wearing the childhood watch that Pat returned to him all those years ago and that he kept safe in his Box of Precious Memories until after Pat pressed him up against a wall with a hand over his mouth and then programmed him into his contacts list, whereupon Pran decided it was time to put the watch back on. That is the watch he’s wearing to go meet a guy who’s been wooing him with dumplings and sweet treats and love notes.  I’m not sayin’. I’m just sayin’. ANYWAY, Pran steels himself, steps through the door and sees … Pat. Holding a bag. Both of them are all, ‘YOU!” in much the same tone as when the killer is revealed in the library with the candlestick. We clearly weren’t going to get a meet-cute on this show, so instead they’ve decided to go with a meet-irritated. (:snorfle:) They figure out they both live there, and Pat wants to know what Pran’s doing up on the roof. Pran wants to know if Pat thinks he owns the place. OMG, y’all, they are going to paint a line down the hallway. …. WAIT. OMG, y’all. They essentially did paint a (metaphorical) line between territories, it’s just that it’s a shifting line, as circumstances dictate. They’ve been trying to deal with maintaining separate territories for their factions as they guide Arch and Eng around each other this whole time (THIS is MY dance space, THAT is YOUR dance space …), not unlike their fathers painting that literal line. :facepalm: I’m an idiot. I only just saw this parallel.

Anyway anyway, Pat accuses Pran of ruining his good mood, but Pran’s got other fish to fry and wants to know if anyone else was up there earlier. (The answer, as we know it will be, is no.) Some girl wanders out onto the rooftop and is accosted by Pat talking about how beautiful the moon is tonight in a Significant Tone, at which Pran’s face definitely begins doing A Thing that indicates some mental math going on before he looks down at the sticky note in his hand inviting him up to the roof to see the beautiful moon that night. Pat asks the girl if she’s the girl who lives in Room No. 439. Pran’s face says WHAT. The girl says, uh, NO, and sidesteps the weirdo to go to the other side of the roof and talk to her honey on her phone. Pat’s face says he’s crushed. Pran makes a break for the door, but Pat turns back around to him and we get a voiceover of Wai telling Pran that if he doesn’t like the guy to tell him in person and end it right there. Oh boy. Pran braces himself, turns back around and calls out to Pat, holds up the note and says, the one you’re waiting for is me.

Pat’s face says WHAT.

And scene.

Up next: Pat’s friends are on the way over. Pran’s friends are already over. Someone really should have painted that line.

[lemonbalmgirl]

An outcome.

Because @tawghasa wanted an update after it happened.

My appointment with Kaiser behavioral health  about potentially having ADHD was this morning. Yesterday, I started making a list of symptoms I suspected I had, but then (ironically) found that overwhelming and stopped. Still, a partial list was better than none?

Anxiety was rough this morning. Managed to take a shower, eat a few bites of something, and chug some water before the appointment.

Then the appointment happened, approximately 50 minutes. The clinician stated that she was assessing my need for behavioral health services, and based on that wording, I still wasn’t completely sure if this was my diagnostic appointment or not. Turns out it was.

They asked me various questions about life, childhood, school, other mental health conditions, etc. Since I’d basically been told to trust the process and that they would weight answers to their own questions much more than anything I brought to the table with me, I wasn’t assertive with my list of suspected symptoms. And I thought that at some point, they would ask me why I thought I might have ADHD. But they didn’t.

The gist of it at the end was, "Well, you have a counselor, go talk to them about stuff. It's all probably your anxiety."

I didn't meet the diagnostic criteria, with emphasis on how I didn't have trouble with school prior to age 12 and didn’t have any hyperactive symptoms.

I don’t want to outright say that I think this clinician was wrong, because I don’t have a background in psychology or diagnosing/treating neurodevelopmental disorders. I guess I just expected there to be more interest in my own observations? If my counselor thought it was all just anxiety, I don't think she would have told me she didn’t think I was barking up the wrong tree regarding ADHD or have suggested I talk to my doctor about it, which is I how I ended up with this referral. I know there’s a lot of overlap between depression, anxiety, & ADHD, but from what I’ve read, some of the symptoms I relate to are specific to ADHD (or autism spectrum disorders) and not depression & anxiety. ((Not having the things I relate to be “official” enough symptoms to “count” was one of my anxieties about this appointment, actually.))

I held it together for the last few minutes of the video appointment, then promptly lost it as soon as it was over. I haven’t felt that invalidated in a long time. I ended up cancelling half the things I was going to do today because my fucks evaporated.

I posted about this in a filtered post on FB and certain friends made some comments that were comforting, specifically about how they’d had trouble getting diagnosed themselves and how this outcome doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t have ADHD - it’s difficult for adults, especially women, to get diagnosed and this may be an example of that.

Part of the reason I wanted to get diagnosed was validation. A lot of the symptoms I think I have - executive dysfunction, time blindness, short-term/working memory issues - are things that a certain parent always implied were character flaws, and it’s only with researching over the past year that I’ve realized just how much I internalized that during my teens & early twenties. So, I wanted validation that these were legitimate problems that I had no control over and should not have been chastised for.

The other thing is that I have a lot of difficulty existing in limbo. Do I have ADHD or not? Plenty of people have told me that I should use ADHD coping methods if they’re helpful, regardless of whether I officially have it or not. And I completely understand why they’re saying that. I also know that I find that difficult, because I don’t know if I can separate using the coping mechanisms from having the condition. And I don’t want to claim to have the condition if I don’t have it, because I know I’ll probably incorporate it into my identity like I have depression and anxiety. (This particular part of things is really difficult to articulate clearly.) And I don’t think it’s helpful to think I have a condition if I don’t, you know? But compared to depression and anxiety, you can’t say that you have a little ADHD you’re dealing with.

I’m not really sure what my plan is going forward. I’ll talk to my counselor in about 2 weeks and this will probably fill the entire appointment. I’ll probably end up doing further reading on ADHD in women and try working on a couple of coping mechanisms despite what I just said about them.

Sooooo yeah, that’s what happened.