#venables

[didanagy]

PINOCCHIO (1940)

dir. ben sharpsteen and hamilton luske

[stayevildarling]

Billie Dean Howard x Wilhemina Venable x Cordelia Goode x Reader- Happier than ever

A/N: It‘s certainly been a while🥲 I have no clue whether anyone even reads my stuff anymore but here we go 🤷🏻‍♀️

tw/tags: polyamorous established relationship, mention of cheating, mention of past depression, mention of troubled eating, mention of working out, cursing, angst, hurt.

word count: 6.5k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00, @ninaahelvar , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay, @laavaagil, @wtfffisgoingon, @stepintomyworld

The months lately had been ordinary in the most beautiful way possible. The four of you spent your days at the academy, Wilhemina her usual badass self in her HR role, Cordelia making sure the academy is taken care of, teaching classes and helping students. Billie was filming a new season of her show and despite filming in New Orleans she was undeniably busy lately, working between cities, award shows, filming. But the medium would make sure to spend any free second with the three of you.

Nights would be spent in the comfort and arms of each other, dinner still in the peace and quiet after the witches had their own. Weekends would still be date nights, each of you choosing different things. Billie mostly a new flashy bar or place, Mina or Delia more subtle with quiet fancy dinners and you always choosing something fun, whether its ice skating on colder days, picnics on warmer days or walks in the park. It feels like the four of you had settled over the last few months, very sure about each other‘s feelings and belonging. And maybe that ordinary quiet wasn‘t meant to last and the peace and quiet you four had was bound to be destroyed.

The years together hadn‘t been easy and the four of you knew it, always a quiet understanding in each other‘s eyes. The times when Mina‘s pains flared up badly and she refused to let any of you in for a while. The times when Billie had nightmares for months from her show and you three held her. The times when the academy and Cordelia were under attack that quiet night and it left you with a scar that still haunts Cordelia to look at when you protected her. And the times when depression pulled you under bad and they barely brought you back to the surface. But no matter what life threw at either of you, you always managed to stand tall in the end, supporting and loving each other through the high‘s and low‘s.

Neither of you had been aware that with this upcoming week something would test the bond the four of you had been building for years. The week had only just started, Wilhemina at work, Cordelia teaching classes all day, you tidying and cleaning around the academy, sorting some files out for the supreme and preparing dinner as well as Mina‘s bath for the evening before you headed to the gym. Billie was gone for the next couple of days doing filming and press for her show. You missed the blonde like crazy and she did equally as she would face time you and message in your shared groupchat every free second she could get, whether it‘s silly selfies or suggestive texts that made Delia roll her eyes, Mina smirk and you blush.

When Wilhemina returned home that night there was a different tension in her shoulders than the usual one. It wasn‘t that tired way from the day she endured, her annoying bosses, mishaps from interns at work she had to fix or her pains. It was a raging thunder and when Cordelia‘s eyes met hers from the kitchen where she finished dinner you had prepared she could tell. One look at the redhead was enough to see that something was severly wrong. „Where is Y/N?“ Wilhemina questions sternly before Cordelia gets the chance to greet her. „She‘s at the gym love, what‘s the matter?“ the supreme asks carefully before the redhead throws her phone on the table, the noise startling the supreme.

The blonde can see an open tab and so she reaches for the small phone with the lilac case you had bought for Wilhemina years ago. Cordelia‘s hands shake a little as she picks it up and reaches for it, her eyes flying over an article from a celebrity magazine and seeing her girlfriend Billie in the headlines. She scrolls further only to see the medium on some balcony, assumingly the event she had been to days ago, smirking, chuckling, taking selfies with a guy, presumably some other celebrity. As she scrolls further she sees more, the two of them close, touching and the guy even reaching to kiss her cheek. Cordelia‘s eyebrows furrow for a second as she sees all the comments and rumors about Billie and the guy dating.

Wilhemina can see Cordelia‘s brain going a thousand miles an hour as she tries to justify this, knowing Billie‘s past and history with dating but equally knowing the medium for years now and how loyal she had been to this relationship. „How did you find this?“ she asks carefully before Wilhemina scoffs. „My assistant showed me earlier, giving me her condolences for our failed relationship“ the redhead mutters and Cordelia has to sit down for a second to breathe through this. There is a moment of silence, the only sound to be heard the quiet mumbling of witches in their rooms and the sound of rain patting against the large windows. „Look“ the supreme breathes out but her girlfriend interrupts. „Don‘t- don‘t justify this“ the redhead scoffs before pouring herself a glass of wine.

„I‘m not“ the supreme explains before carrying on „We don‘t know the story, you know how paparazzi and the press can get with these things“ Cordelia tries but she can‘t hide the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach. Billie had been absent lately, maybe not emotionally or in this relationship but she was always gone, always doing more fun things than leading an academy or working a nine to five job. And Cordelia had worried sometimes in the back of her mind that you three weren‘t enough for the rising star, that Hollywood may pull the medium under but she had brushed those concerns away every single time when seeing how soft the medium was with you and how her and Wilhemina would jokingly bicker at the dinner table.

Almost at the same time it dawns on them both as their eyes lock and their thoughts drift to you. „Do you think?“ Cordelia begins but Mina interrupts „She‘s way more tech savvy than we are Cordelia, she‘s active on social media, I‘m sure she has seen it“. And that‘s when the supreme really begins to worry, knowing you had worked so hard lately to get you out of that dark place where depression had pulled you under. Countless sleepless and crying nights, having to actively try and not give in to your dark thoughts and slowly battling your way back into the light for them. Cordelia knows about your pain, maybe more than your other girlfriends as she could see it, feel it with her supreme abilities. She knows about the people you have lost, the trauma you had endured despite not nearly as old as them and things happening to you that should have never happened.

And in that moment both women realize this would hit you harder than them, hurt you in ways and rip up old wounds that barely healed over the years. Wilhemina knows about your insecurities, knowing thats why you had been going to the gym more and eating healthy, remembering the rare moments when you would share things with her in the silence of her office in the at night. She knew about your fears of getting cheated on, getting left and knowing you aren‘t the jealous type, knowing this would hurt. But before they can overthink any of it further, they hear the sound of the front door, soft shuffling from you taking your shoes off and hanging your jacket up before walking inside. The image pains them a little as you are completely soaked from rain but your cheeks clearly tear stained.

„Sweetie“ Cordelia tries as she tilts her head to the side a little but you already brush it off, acting like you are fine, giving them a brief but forced smile before heading upstairs. „I need a shower, you can start without me, I‘m not hungry“ you mumble before you disappear in front of their eyes. All Cordelia can do is sigh and rub her temples, knowing this would take a while for you to let them in and help you through this pain. Wilhemina‘s anger rises by the minute as she reaches for her phone, already dialing the mediums number. Cordelia watches with anxiety in her chest and trembling hands but quickly overhears the sound of Billie‘s voicemail. „Typical“ Wilhemina scoffs before returning to her wine glass. And all they can do is wait, wait for Billie to explain and for you to return to them, their hearts a little heavier than a few hours ago when the world was a little more ordinary.

But their waiting is useless as Billie is at some event without her phone and you decided to bury yourself in bed and go to sleep after your shower instead of dealing with the feelings that those photos sparked inside you. With worried glances and a sad sigh, they lie awake beside you, Mina‘s hand softly reaching for yours and holding it while you sleep and Cordelia snuggling up to you from the other side, hoping their steady arms and hands are enough to guide you through sleep and show you that no matter what, they are here, just like they always were. You don‘t wake that night, not to Mina‘s phone buzzing when Billie eventually calls back but she misses it, not when Mina‘s alarm goes off and she gets ready for work and kissing a kiss to your temple and not when Cordelia starts her morning.

By the time you do end up waking up, the sun had long risen, the academy‘s usual buzz already there as you hear the sound of witches chatting and giggling in the hall. You close your eyes again after blinking, hoping last night may have been one of your nightmares but when you see the headline again on your phone seconds later, you realize this was real. It takes a few moments for you to wake up properly and when you do you realize that the blonde supreme had been sitting in the corner of the room, her usual reading chair, watching you carefully. „Good morning Dee“ you greet her before she walks over with a smile. „Morning Darling“ she greets you softly before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. „You have seen it then?“ she gestures towards your phone and you avoid her gaze as you nod and look away.

„Sweetie I-” she begins but you cut her off immediately „Delia it‘s fine“ you mutter before letting go off her hand and getting out of bed. „I know how press can twist things, I don‘t care“ you mumble before taking a sip of water and disappearing into the bathroom. But Cordelia can see it, in the way your hands shake when opening and closing the bathroom door. She can see it in the way your shoulders are slumped during the day, how your eyes dart to your phone, waiting desperately to hear from the medium and some kind of explanation to this. She can see the sadness in your eyes when you kiss her goodbye before heading to the gym and Wilhemina can certainly tell when you barely touch your food during dinner with them.

„Have you eaten anything today little one?“ she asks carefully and as you look up she can already see the small panic in your eyes. „Yes“ you lie before muttering a quick „Not that hungry tonight“. But they could both tell the lie from the way your eyes avert them, how you push your food from one side of the plate to the other, how you never ended up eating the dinner that Cordelia saved for you last night and how you probably didn‘t have anything other than a protein bar all day. „Sweetie, it won‘t help you to just swallow it all down, we‘re here and I know this hurts you“ Cordelia tries gently, her eyes desperately trying to reach yours. „I told you I don‘t care“ you repeat your words from this morning but Wilhemina knows better than your hiding and excuses. „Then why haven‘t you eaten? why haven‘t you spoke more than two words all day? Why can I smell smoke on you when I haven‘t in months and why do you look so damn heartbroken?“.

Her words stir something inside you as your head snaps towards her, the words catching you both off guard and also hitting you right in the feels. Tears well in your eyes but before they roll you are already up on your feet, not wanting them to see this. „Sweetie stay“ Cordelia pleads as her hand gently catches your wrist. She stands and quickly pulls you into her arms and that‘s when the tears begin to fall, quickly and unable to stop them. When the first sob wrecks through you, the supreme is quick to sit you down in her lap, hold you as you rest your head on her chest and let it out. Wilhemina‘s grip on her cane is so tight that the supreme thinks it may snap any second. The redhead hated seeing you like this, this not the first time seeing you fall apart like that. But so far she could never actually hold anyone responsible as mostly your own mind made you feel like that in the past, never one of the only people that should never make you feel like that.

In a quick motion, she reaches for her phone and leaves the room, her heels and cane echoing off the floor as she dials the mediums number again. It rings three times before the blonde picks up. „Hello Ms Venable, to what do I owe this pleasure?“ she jokes but Wilhemina is in no mood for the mediums usual antics today. „Were you even gonna call and explain any of this?“ the redhead asks, trying hard to keep her composure. There is a moment of silence before the blonde replies confused „What- what are you talking about honey?“ she asks puzzled before Wilhemina fills her in. It takes some seconds and the redhead can hear her girlfriends acrylic nails tap against her own screen before she sighs. „This damn press“ Billie curses. „Nothing happened with him, it was just innocent“ she tries to explain herself but again the redhead isnt having it.

„Innocent?“ Wilhemina repeats before she carries on „If it is all so innocent Billie then why the fuck is Y/N crying her eyes out in Cordelia‘s arms right now? why is she not eating and smoking again?“. There is another moment of silence on the other end of the speaker before there is a sigh. „I‘m coming home“ is all the medium says before the phone call comes to an end. By the time the redhead returns you are bundled up on the sofa in Cordelia‘s lap, the TV playing softly in the background and despite your eyes fixed on it, she knows you aren‘t watching. The redhead knows that whatever she is going to say next couldn‘t fix this and so all she does is lift your legs gently and sit down, letting your feet rest in her lap as she holds onto your legs, her fingers tracing your skin softly and grounding you.

Neither of you speak but neither of you need to, knowing you letting them in was enough for the night. And despite the redheads anger, there is a small part of her that hopes that the medium would be able to explain, make that sadness disappear from your face and let you four get back to the ordinary of your life. It takes about three hours of silence before the front door bursts open and the sound of heels clicking fast against the tiles startles you three. Cordelia and you had faintly dozed off before their heads snap towards the medium rushing into the room. „Billie?“ Cordelia asks a little confused as the redhead didn‘t have the time or right moment to fill her in just yet. „I‘m so sorry about that stupid press“ she huffs before setting her bags down. „I promise it was just innocent stuff, they always have a way to twist things with their angles and headlines“.

You stare right at her and she can see your dried tears and the sadness in your eyes. „Who is he?“ Wilhemina asks bluntly before the medium sighs „Just some industry guy, did an interview with him and saw him at a party one night“ she explains before kneeling right in front of you. „Babydoll listen to me, I love you, I love you three so much and I would never do that“ she smiles, her eyes serious and her features sad at your state. „Did you- did anything else happen with him?“ you ask, your voice sounding hoarse from crying and the small sleep you had in Delia‘s arms. Neither of you three expect her to stay silent then, for her eyes to avert yours and the guilt in her eyes is enough for you to know.

„Jesus christ, did you fuck him Billie?“ Wilhemina‘s voice cracks through the room which causes you to shake in Cordelia‘s arms. The supreme instinctively pulls you closer as Billie stands and takes a seat across from you. „I didn‘t“ she states before lighting a cigarette. „But?“ Cordelia asks, her own heart breaking a little at Billie‘s reaction. „I got really drunk at one of those parties and he kissed me but I pushed him off I swear, I don‘t care about him I promise“ she explains. „Jesus“ Wilhemina mutters before avoiding her gaze and before either of them can react, you yank yourself away from their touch and stand. Billie stands too, abandoning her cigarette in a nearby ashtray before trying to reach for you. „Don‘t“ you hiss before your voice breaks and you head upstairs, faster than any of them can catch you.

„Good job Howard“ Wilhemina mutters, more upset about the medium hurting you than either of their own feelings or what happened. Cordelia is dangerously quiet, unsure what to say to any of this as she truly didn‘t expect the medium to go this far. „I know she‘s upset but come on, it‘s not like neither of us have done that at a party“ Billie tries to justify herself, mostly to herself than her girlfriends. „Expect we haven‘t“ Wilhemina interjects before the medium huffs. There is silence for a while before Cordelia stands. Billie‘s eyes immediately find hers before she speaks. „You know I don‘t care about what you do when you are away Billie, we are adults and if you kiss some guy at a party that‘s that. But if you think for one second that she deserves any of this you are wrong. She sits there all day waiting for a message or call from you. She looks at photos on your socials missing you, she sleeps in one of your jumpers“ the supreme begins.

„That girl loves and adores you with all of her heart, patiently waiting for you to return and all you do in return is go and kiss some random guy? she deserves better than that“ the supreme statles bluntly, even taking the redhead by surprise as her mouth stands slightly agape. „And the worst thing is, she finally managed to get better, she finally began working on herself again. And the thing is I have been worried sick for the reason she has been doing it. I know she doesn‘t go to the gym for herself or take her meds. She does it for you and for us and I can‘t believe how selfishly you handled all of that, how you walked away from us, while we give you our trust and hers and you just walk all over it“. Before the medium can reply, the supreme leaves, walking up the stairs where she can already hear your sobs.

„You really messed up this time Howard“ is all Wilhemina says before standing herself and heading to the kitchen for some wine, knowing Cordelia has got you and not needing a second person right now, not wanting to overwhelm you. The supreme stays in your arms that night, holding you, letting your arms wrap around her and as the sadness overwhelms you, her arms are steady as they elope you in warmth. Wilhemina takes considerably longer to return to bed, staying in her office by herself mostly to deal with this. Billie had tried and failed to get a glimpse of you awake and so she opted to stay in her office, trying to figure out how to fix this, eventually falling asleep by her desk, the guilt and shame overwhelming her in it‘s intensity.

The next morning comes slowly as Cordelia takes care of the academy, taking turns with Wilhemina as the redhead called out of work, wanting to be here to fix this and the necessary talks that would follow. By the time you wake your eyebrows furrow a little as you feel Mina‘s arms around you instead of Delia‘s but you relax just as quickly, melting into the older womans touch as you both drift back to sleep, the outside world and Billie waiting for you both. It‘s about midday when the redhead manages to get you downstairs for something to eat. The smell of smoke lingers from the backdoor and your eyes drift there for a moment, seeing Billie look both so broken and tired, a glint of guilt still in her eyes as she paces through the gardens.

Wilhemina and you don‘t speak much, moving in sync as you prepare a light lunch and the redhead makes enough tea for the four of you. Just as Billie steps back inside, there is a knock on the front door and you walk towards it slowly. There is a courier, smiling awkwarly before handing you a bouquet of flowers with a note tugged inside. Slightly confused you walk inside before setting it on the table, Mina‘s head snaping towards you and a puzzled look on her face. „If thats your version of apologising Howard then“ Wilhemina mutters mostly to herself before you glance at the note and step away. „It‘s not for us, it‘s for Billie“ you exclaim almost too calmly before you step away. Wilhemina‘s head snaps in your direction, then to the table and Billie who reads the note, her features sinking before grabbing the bouquet and note and throwing it in the trash can with a thud before stepping back outside to light another cigarette.

And Wilhemina doesn‘t need to look at the note to know who sent them, assuming it must have been Billie‘s fling. She rolls her eyes, setting the cups of warm tea back down, before she storms upstairs, knowing you need space and needing the silence and calm of Cordelia to keep her grounded in order not to lose her temper on Billie in this moment, knowing it would make things much worse. But as soon as the redhead steps inside the supreme‘s office after knocking, she knows something is wrong by Cordelia‘s tense features. She is staring at her laptop screen, not the usual concentrating headmistress look or some academy crisis either. „Well Billie just recieved flowers from her guy and Y/N read the note so there‘s that“ she huffs as she takes a seat. „What‘s happened to you? you look like you‘ve seen a ghost“ she murmurs before Cordelia‘s teary eyes meet hers.

„I -” she begins but stops herself to swallow the lump in her throat. Wilhemina‘s features deepen with worry as she leans forward, trying to take the supreme‘s hand into her own. „What is it, love?“ she tries gently before Cordelia sighs „I was just trying to write some emails and“ she begins but her girlfriend can tell the words physically hurt her to say. And Wilhemina knows by now that Cordelia needs calm and gentle in these moments and so she doesn‘t push, her fingers stroking the supreme‘s gently and her eyes carrying ever ounce of patience she has. „You know our family cloud?“ the supreme eventually asks before Wilhemina nods, knowing she set it up some years ago for you four, making access to all the devices in the house much easier and secure.

„Well I found these“ Cordelia sighs before turning her laptop. Wilhemina adjusts her glasses before reading over a text message conversation from Billie‘s cloud, seeing a contact with an unfamiliar name. „The other night was amazing, when are you back in town? Ready for round two?“ with some emojis that makes Wilhemina feel sick with rage. Her features instantly tense as she glances at Cordelia, the supreme‘s bottom lip wobbling as she tries holding back her own tears. In a quick motion something inside the redhead snaps as she takes her cane and leaves the room with rushed footsteps, the supreme sighing before following, knowing this was going to blow up in all of your faces any second.

Billie was just stepping back inside from her cigarette when Wilhemina storms downstairs, Cordelia close behind, neither of them aware you heard the commotion and walked down the other staircase to see what‘s going on. In a swift motion Wilhemina‘s hand strikes the blondes cheek, not too hard but enough for her emotions to speak as loud as the slight crack that follows. Billie‘s hand immediately travels to her cheek but the guilt stings more than Wilhemina‘s action ever could have. „So not only do you lie to us but you also fucked him?!“ she screams, not caring about her voice or the witches somewhere in the house right now.

Cordelia tries hard not to break down herself as she holds Wilhemina back. „I didn‘t mean to“ Billie finally breaks, tears stinging in her eyes. „I was really drunk at that stupid party and I let my guard down and“ but before she can finish Wilhemina interrupts her. „You know we trusted you and you pull this?“ she hisses, her eyes flashing with anger and hurt. There is silence for a while before Cordelia steps forward „Why Billie?“ is all she asks and the tone of her voice makes Billie cry harder. „I don‘t know“ the medium sighs, knowing it‘s a terrible answer but she unfortunately didn‘t have another one. „I didn‘t even remember the next morning, it meant nothing, I only found out when he kept texting and calling me the next day“ she huffs rubbing her temples.

Before either of them can speak, you finally step forward, expression pale, hands and knees trembling as her words replay in your mind over and over. „You.. you slept with him?“ the words are barely audible but three heads quickly snap in your direction. Wilhemina‘s furious gaze at seeing your state and knowing Billie caused this, wishing she could have shielded you from this and not have you witness this. Cordelia‘s tears, knowing this was going to break you all over again and at last Billie‘s guilty eyes, for the first time since seeing the damage she has done. Seeing the person who fought so hard to be there again after the darkness, knowing it was for them and for her and how she broke you all over again. „Baby I-” she tries but before she can say anything, you walk away, grabbing your gym bag and ignoring Cordelia‘s pleas to stay.

„You ruined everything Billie“ Wilhemina mutters before she storms off, needing her own space after this and Cordelia simply stands there, heartbroken, looking at the door you just left through, knowing they may have lost you for good this time. Meanwhile, the walk to the gym is a blur of panic, tears and lighting the occasional cigarette to cope with this. The sound of Wilhemina‘s slap and Billie‘s words repeat in your mind, causing your ears to ring and your hands to shake as you fiddle with the membership card and trying to get inside. You hit the treadmill first, loud music blaring through your headphones as you push yourself further and further. You stay for hours this time, hitting the punchback later over and over again until you practically collapse into it and hug it before sinking to your knees and crying. Thankfully, no one is there at this late hour and so you fall apart quietly, missing the countless calls from Cordelia, Wilhemina‘s worried messages and Billie‘s attempts to apologise to you.

By the time you return, tired, drained and fatigued it‘s past midnight, only managing to get up after crying for hours near a punching bag. The academy is dimly lit and you see the lights coming from both the mediums and redheads office, knowing they would deal with this in their own ways. But when you step past the living room, Cordelia is already waiting for you, eyes equally red from crying and that look on her face, the one that means she knows exactly how you are feeling. „Baby come here please“ she ushers as you set your bag down but you can‘t. Not when she is looking at you with such pity, not when she is the one equally hurting and knowing you should equally be there for them. „I can‘t Dee“ is all you manage to mumble before walking right past her, collapsing into an empty bed before eventually drifting off to sleep from exhaustion.

The next few days until the coming weekend are quiet in the academy, Cordelia teaching, Mina working from home and Billie trying to be there. She tries to make Mina her tea the way she likes it, silently placing it on her desk without a word, bringing Cordelia coffee in the morning and trying to talk to you. But you brush her off every time, spending your days mostly in the gym, not able to stand being around them or the house much. But by the time the weekend rolls around fully, all of the witches gone to their familys or out with their weekend plans, the silence is overwhelming and neither of them can take it for another second.

Billie prepares breakfast, trying hard but eventually failing at making the pancakes and going to a local bakery before waiting for you three. Cordelia is the first one downstairs, making some coffee before sitting beside Billie in silence. „Dee“ the blonde begins, their brown eyes meeting „You can read me, I know you can. Go inside my mind and go back to that day, it meant nothing, I had no bad intentions I swear“ the medium pleads and as she the blonde stretches out her hands she relives the moment, Billie‘s realization after the hangover and her true intentions. She let‘s go off her hand, sighing „It doesn‘t make what you did any better“ the supreme sighs before the medium nods. „I know- god I know but I need you to know“ she begs before the sound of a cane is to be heard and their heads snap towards the redhead, who simply takes a seat next to Cordelia, knowing this conversation needs to be held.

They wait in silence for a few minutes before they hear footsteps and see your frame. The sun casts golden shadows over your features and if it wasn‘t for the bittersweetness of the moment this would have been their usual morning , waiting for you and your presence lighting their hearts, except this morning there is nothing but sorrow and heartache. „I got your favorite“ Billie tries gently, pointing at a pistachio croissant on your plate and some orange juice. You look away, towards your gym bag in the hallway before shaking your head. „We need to talk sweetie“ Cordelia tries gently, hardly having seen you and severly worried about how you are coping. „I‘m good, I‘m going to the gym“ you announce but before you can take. a step Wilhemina‘s voice rings through the quiet kitchen. „Sit down“ she says, not cruel, not angry but her tone leaving no room for arguments and so you do, hiding your shaking fingers underneath the table.

„Look..“ Billie begins as she glances between you three „I know I can never undo what I did“ she sighs, already fighting her own tears, having realized exactly what she has done in the past few silent days. „But I need you to know that it was never my intention to do what I did. I was drunk and I let my guard down when I shouldn‘t have. It just happened and I am really so sorry for what I did“ she explains. Cordelia clears her throat before speaking next „It‘s true“ she begins which causes Wilhemina‘s eyebrows to furrow and your eyes to meet hers. „I read her mind and she was drunk and it wasn‘t her intention. I saw her reaction the next morning and it may not undo it but she isn‘t lying“ the supreme explains calmly which causes Mina to scoff. „For once“ which causes your eyes to dart into your lap.

„I don‘t understand Billie, we aren‘t in our twenties anymore. This isn‘t like before when she wasn‘t with us, when we did what we did because we were open“ Wilhemina gestures towards you, wanting nothing more than to understand this. „I know“ Billie sighs, her frustration for her own actions causing some tears to slip down her cheeks. „For the last few years I haven‘t even looked at anyone but you three, I‘m so happy and grateful and I let it all get to my head, Hollywood, the shows, the fame, when I really shouldnt have“ she explains and neither of you three need powers to tell that Billie isn‘t lying, never having seen her so honest and serious before. „Has he contacted you again?“ Cordelia asks before Billie shakes her head. „Well he has but I blocked him, told my management I never want him near anything I do ever again“ she replies which causes Cordelia to nod.

„I know I really fucked up and I know no gifts or explanations will fix this but I wanna fix it so if you wanna yell at me, if you want me to give you three space for a while I will. If you need me to get us a good therapist then I will but please don‘t let me loose the only thing that has given me meaning and purpose for years“ she pleads now, tears streaming uncontrollably down her cheeks. There is silence for a while as you three let her words settle in, Cordelia seeing the genuine remorse and Wilhemina surprised that the medium is actually taking responsibility for once and not brushing things off the casual way she usually would in life. „I think seeing someone might help us“ Cordelia agrees and even Wilhemina is quiet then, knowing that may be the only way to restore what you four had for years.

But there is you, not having spoken a single word, listening to their words but not able to shake the pictures of Billie and the guy haunting your memories since the day you had seen them. „Thank you Dee, that‘s all I‘m asking for“ the medium cries as she puts her hand on top of the supreme‘s. She worriedly glances at Wilhemina who simply nods, features still tense but knowing this wasn‘t gonna be something they could fix this time. And then suddenly three sets of brown eyes are on you as they try and read your expression. „Little one?“ Wilhemina tries gently, Cordelia‘s hand softly reaching for yours under the table but you instantly freeze and pull away.

„Babydoll please say something“ Billie pleads with a broken expression before you swallow the lump in your throat. „If that‘s what you three wanna do that‘s fine by me“ you simply mutter before Wilhemina‘s eyebrows furrow sensing what‘s about to come. „Us three?“ Billie repeats in confusion. „What about you baby?“ she asks before you shake your head, trying hard to keep the tears at bay. But there is silence on your end, Cordelia‘s heart skipping a beat, knowing that expression far too well, the one where you had given up and this time on them. „Sweetie don‘t do this, don‘t push us away“ the supreme pleads as she reaches for your hand again but you pull away. „I can‘t do this“ is all you say before you stand abruptly, startling your girlfriends before Billie stands, reaching for your arm but you immediately step back, as if her touch burns and her breath hitches when she realizes.

„I thought we were finally happy Billie, I really did“ you begin as you make sure there is a safe distance between you. „I was finally happy Billie and you took that away by being reckless“ your voice is slightly raised, startling them as you usually are quiet and composed no matter the circumstances. „A few months ago I wanted to die Billie. I wanted everything to stop so bad but I didn‘t, for you, for them. In my worst moments I pictured your smile and the way you would take my hand before dragging me shopping and spoiling me rotten with that dopey face of yours. And I fought through hell to get back here with you“. There is a pause before you carry on, the tears already spilling. „Ever since I first met you, I knew I was never good enough for you three, I don‘t have the looks, the magic or the career but I genuinely thought I was good enough by now and that you wouldn‘t just go to the next best guy“.

„God Billie, a fucking guy, do you have any idea how much that hurts?“ you cry now, hugging yourself to make the exploding pain in your chest any better. „If you three wanna try then I won‘t stop you but there is no version where I can ever not see those photos of you two, his hands on you and that smile on you. The smile that I thought was for us and me“. And without another word you step away, reaching your bag and leaving, the door banging shut on your way out, echoing through the silent academy. Cordelia‘s completely sobbing into herself, Billie unable to say another word and even Wilhemina‘s world is shattered, never having heard those words before, understanding the real damage for the first time and her heart aching as the words echo in her mind.

And then Billie sinks to her knees, the sound of her sobs shaking the room as she knows she had lost you and that there wasn‘t a way to fix this. Not this time and maybe not ever. She had crossed the line and the same realization dawns on Cordelia and Wilhemina as their eyes meet, the same heartbreaking expression on their face. Maybe this truly was the end, your ordinary world that once was now gone and unable to return this time.

[maudeboggins]

Evelyn Venable in Double Door (1934)

[chelshiart]

In 2011 I drastically reduced my DWJ book intake to dripfeed levels, so it was only in the 2024 new year that I finally decided to read Deep Secret. My god - out of all her books this seems targeted at me personally? Stressed late-20-somethings, making fools of oneself in vicinity of fav authors, artist alleys?? Also, blatant unmistakable LGBT-rep??? I can't believe I slept on this one for so long!!! Definitely putting it on the upper tiers of my DWJ bookshelf.

Anyway, here's some designs I've whipped up for the characters! As always, might tweak 'em if ever I draw more in the future, but that's what's fun about figuring out character designs. Rob in particular is a joy to me.

btw Zinka plsplspls let me table with you

[iamnotoriginalphil]

Your Mina (Wilhemina Venable x f!Reader)

Synopsis: The world has ended and not just due to the missiles. Your Mina is gone, the cold Ms Venable left in her place. If only you didn't still want her.

Words: 6.3k

Warnings: degradation kink, humiliation kink, mentions of possessiveness, mentions of exhibition, swearing, thigh riding, chocking, jealousy, BDSM themes, objectification

The end of the world hadn’t been what you were expecting. It hadn’t been a slow build to something, climate change not the cause. Missiles, as the news announced, felt so stark and impersonal in the face of the death they wrought. You hadn’t even had the chance to feel the fear or the loss or the anxiety before hands had clasped around your arms and you were being escorted into a massive SUV.

Kicking and screaming brought blank stares, no one bothering to step in. Tears were running down your face but you were hardly the only one. The missiles were on the way and you were just another person facing this overwhelming truth. The world was ending and you were being kidnapped.

You would never get the chance to kiss your girlfriend goodbye.

You were bundled underground, into some kind of bunker built for the rich and powerful. You tried, over and over again, to tell them that they had the wrong person. You weren’t rich. You weren’t powerful. You were nothing and no one.

In a room, questions unanswered, you were left to stew. Firelight licked up the walls, shadows dancing, putting you on edge. You saw no one else, alone, the silence uncaring as you screamed at them to let you go. When the screaming ran out, tears fell down your cheeks. It was beginning to sink in just how alone you truly were. There must be other people in whatever place it was, but your family was gone, your girlfriend, your friends, everyone you’d ever known. They were all gone and you remained.

It was a cruel mistake.

You sunk into a chair eventually, curling up in it. Time was moving but you couldn’t feel it, the numb feeling growing in your chest. Your life had changed and you weren’t sure you wanted it. You wanted your life back or to have perished with everyone you loved. Not whatever this was.

The tears stopped. The numb feeling grew. You stared into the fire, wondering when it would consume your body. At some point, you knew, it would.

You ignored the sound of approaching footsteps. Your chin rested on your knees, arms curled around bent legs, staring at the flames until they were all you could see. No one could make it better. Of that you were sure.

A sharp tap of a cane on the floor had you stiffening. Their cruelty knew no bounds. You squeezed your eyes shut, refusing to let any more tears fall. They weren’t going to break you, no matter what this torture was. Maybe you had died and this was hell.

Another sharp tap of the cane so much closer and you half turned your head towards the sound. Your eyes scanned up from shoes hidden under a long dress, a dark cane held in pale hands. Your heart gave a small flutter. The further up, the more familiar the figure standing in the doorway was becoming.

Dark eyes were staring at you from a mask like face. Hair you’d once run your fingers through was pinned up. Lips you knew the taste of were pressed into a thin line. Your mouth grew dry.

“Mina,” you breathed, rising from your seat.

You couldn’t believe it. She was standing there, right in front of you, looking none the worse for wear. She was perfect. Your heart was thudding in your chest, loud in your ears, and she was right there. You could touch her, if you just reached out, because she. Was. Right. There.

“You will call me Ms Venable.” Her voice was so cold.

“But-“

Her hand shot out, open palm striking your skin. You gaped at her, the sting bringing tears to your eyes. She was staring at you, daring you to argue and you didn’t know what was happening. This wasn’t your Mina. Your hand trembled as you raised it, lightly touching the skin that bore her handprint.

“Yes Ms Venable,” you whispered, not even aware you were doing it.

Your eyes focused on your feet, your breathing shallow, the sting of her slap still echoing through your body. The end of the world had taken her from you, but not through death, through transformation. Pushing the tears back once again, you caught your lower lip between your teeth, biting down until the coppery tang of blood bloomed on your tongue.

“Welcome to Outpost Three,” Ms Venable said, and her voice was so familiar it hurt.

“Thank you,” you said.

“As a Purple you’ll be supplied a furnished suite,” she said.

Your eyes flashed up, purple meaning something more than whatever she was suggesting.

“Purple?” you asked.

“One of the elite.” Her voice practically purred and your entire body felt like a live wire, “come.”

You moved on shuffling feet, following behind her as she walked with such confidence. You had no idea when she’d been shown this place. She’d never spoken of it, never even hinted at something like it. All those years together and not once had this ever entered into your life. Until the end of the world.

The end of the world she knew about?

She explained the rules to you, your arms slowly tightening around your body. None of it felt real. None of it was reasonable. You’d stepped into a world where nothing made sense and nothing was okay. Your Mina was gone and yet was also standing right there.

Standing there but different. Your Mina would never wear black, purple the colour she wore at all times. You didn’t like it. She never wore her hair so pinned up, so severe. While you could appreciate how it showed off the long line of her neck and the cut of her jaw, the sway of her hair had been a constant in your life. At least the scent of lavender seemed to cling to her, not quite hidden. Yours gaze slid over her body, finding her more a stranger than was comfortable.

You stepped through the door she indicated into your suite, should brushing against hers. That familiar scent of lavender lingered in the air of the room. You breathed in deeply, eyes slipping closed for a moment, letting yourself imagine for a moment that the world hadn’t changed so drastically. You turned, looking at her, eyes sweeping over someone that once had been as familiar to you as your own reflection.

“I don’t understand,” you said.

“Which part?” Cruelty was the flavour of her voice.

“All of it. I mean, I know about the missiles but why am I here? I’m not anyone,” you asked.

For the first time, something in her eyes seemed to break apart and hastily be put back together again.

“You must have been important to someone in power,” she said, “if you find yourself so inconsequential.”

You looked at her, really looked at her. You’d woken that morning to her already having left the house. There was a vague memory of lips pressed to your forehead before rolling over. There’d been no note, not indication anything was going to be different. You’d slept last night with her warmth beside you, arms around you, breathing in time with one another. Now… now she was so far from the bed you’d once shared and you had no idea how to get back to it.

“I suppose so,” you replied, voice soft, letting her have the out she was looking for, “thank you, Ms Venable.”

She gave you a short nod before turning on her heels and walking away, the tap of her cane lingering long after she was gone.

The closing door was quiet and so was the sigh that passed over your lips. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. The world had ended but Mina was still there with you. But different. Not your Mina. Ms Venable. Not the woman who would come home at the end of the day and slip into the bath with you, but something new. Someone you’d never known before.

You wandered through the suite. It was plush, expensive, nicer than the home you’d shared with Mina. You didn’t know what to do with it. The world had ended and you were living in luxury. You couldn’t wrap your mind around it.

In the large closet, purple stared back at you from every corner. You ran your fingers of the materials, finding that each item was beautiful. Each one was perfect. Someone had put a lot of thought into curating the wardrobe you were to have in the end days. You shook your head, not sure what to do with that information. None of it was making any sense to you.

You were slow to dress and by the time you found your way to the dining room, it looked as if you were the last to join them. Mina was sitting at the head of the table. You couldn’t look at her, not without a wound in your chest opening up again. You felt the weight of the other gazes on you, not looking up from the hands clasped in your lap.

One weighed heavier than the others.

You’d dressed carefully, in the dress you thought shed’d like the most on you. It was soft, delicate, almost romantic. You couldn’t bare facing her only to be met with disdain. It had been a message that you would do what she wished to please her.

You’d keep to whatever role she was placing you in. Just sharing the same space as her would have to be enough in your new reality. You could be perfect for her, if that’s what she needed from you. Even now, when she wasn’t your Mina, you’d still do whatever you could for her.

Thank god your therapist hadn’t survived the end of the world or she’d have a lot to say about that.

You kept your interactions with the other Purples to a minimum. You found them insipid at the best of times, and you craved the attention of only one person in the entire Outpost. Instead, you watched the way she terrorised them. She stalked the halls, doling out discipline as she saw fit, lurking in the shadows just to catch them breaking the rules. The joy she seemed to get from it seemed so different from the woman you’d known on the outside, and yet you’d seen glimmers of it sometimes. On her worst days, mostly.

You didn’t find it any less intriguing, though. You might have been willing to play along with her facade of being nothing but strangers, but you still noticed that left you with less of her attention than the others. It might have been bad attention, but at least it was attention. You craved it, like it was the air you breathed. Where once the weight of her gaze ws comforting and familiar, now it felt exciting in its scarceness.

And then there was Ms Mead. Her right hand, her confidant, her trusted advisor. A kernel of jealousy curled behind your ribs, hissing in your ears that you’d been replaced. That she didn’t need you anymore. That she didn’t want you.

So you decided to do something drastic if only to prove to yourself that you were still burrowed in her heart.

It was slow, not wanting her to catch on before you were ready. You took your time, inching towards the group of Purples day by day until you were sitting with their group, listening to them talk. No one questioned it, no one pointed out you’d spent months ignoring them, now seeking them out.

Gallant was the first to notice your sarcastic comments, muttered under your breath. Catching your eye whenever Coco said something, a shared smile, the sting of friendship was surprisingly painful after months kept to yourself. He would sit beside you, the two of you sharing barbs.

If Mina noticed the change, she didn’t show it.

So you amped it up. You whispered with Mallory in dark corners, you complimented Coco loudly, you shared smiles with Dinah. In short, you did all you could to show her she no longer had your attention either. That you’d moved on. That if she didn’t want you then you weren’t going to sit around waiting for her forever.

Her eyes began to trail you throughout the twisting halls of the outpost.

One more turn of the cog. Standing in your wardrobe, the handpicked clothes for you by the woman who knew you better than anyone, you considered each one with a critical eye. Yes, the one in the far corner, tucked away as if she hadn’t wanted you to find it. That was the one.

The lavender slip dress was silk, so soft against your skin. Clinging to your figure, a cowl neckline and slit up to your thigh, it was sexier than anything else you’d worn, nothing like the Victorian inspired fashion you’d grown used to. But she had left it for you and it felt like a challenge.

You pinned your hair up, not as sever as her, softer, more romantic. You looked in the mirror, doing your best to effect the wide eyed look of innocence you knew you’d need to sell the whole ideal. Give her something to ruin.

You waited, just long enough to know you would be the last to sit down to dinner. Not late, but on the cusp. Stepping into the dining room, it was like a slow wave, faces turning to you, only one looking less than pleased.

You took your usual seat beside Gallant, ignoring the one woman you were trying so hard for. Some eyes were still lingering on you, Coco to be exact, and she looked put out at your appearance.

“Nice dress,” Gallant said, leaning towards you but in the quiet room his voice carried.

“Thank you,” you said, smoothing one hand over your thighs, “I found it in my room and thought why not? No point wasting something so pretty.”

Your eyes looked past him, finding Ms Venable watching you. There was fire in her eyes and you didn’t fail to notice the way her fingers clenched on the head of her cane. With a small smile you turned your face away, looking down at the gelatinous cube on your plate. Hardly your favourite meal but given it was the only one in existence you’d take it.

Your dragged your eyes up again, Coco looking at you with a cocked head. You offered her a wink, smirking at her. It wasn’t so much a feeling as a shift in the atmosphere. A tap of the cane on the ground, your thighs clenching together.

The meal was as unsatisfying as ever. Well, the food was. The eyes that you kept drawing to yourself were not. Arching your back, your neck, letting your fingers trail over your collarbone, laughing softly in Gallant’s ear, letting your teeth sink into your lower lip. You were using all the tricks that had once worked on her. The tricks that also led to you pinned to the mattress moaning her name.

No one said you had to play fair.

Once the meal was over, you slid your arm through Gallant’s, letting your hips sway, not bothering to offer a parting look to the woman who still owned your heart. He escorted you into the library, the infernal song making you purse your lips.

“So tell me,” he murmured under the cover of Coco’s complaints, “who’s benefit is this little number for?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” you replied, smiling at him, letting him know you were lying.

“You do know sex is strictly forbidden,” he said.

“Who said anything about sex?” you laughed, “nothing wrong with being desired.”

“Did you really find this dress in your wardrobe?” he asked.

“Would you believe my answer if I said yes?”

“Not for a moment,” he replied, “but whoever it is, they’re going to find you hard to resist.”

You sat in the corner of the sofa closest to the fire. The light, flickering over your skin, would be temptation in itself. Gallant seated himself beside you, his eyes scanning over the room, most likely trying to ferret out which of the other Purples you were trying to seduce. The woman moving through the room, taking her position with her back to the fire, was ignored by him. You smiled down into your lap before looking up at her. The glare you received in return was nasty.

You only stayed long enough to not raise suspicions. You squeezed Gallant’s shoulder as you left, getting an indulgent smile in return. The air in your room was stale and yet it continued to hold notes of lavender, even so many months later. You sat on your bed, face turned towards the door.

She didn’t leave you waiting long.

The knock on your door was perfunctory. You were slow to rise, wanting her to wait. Pulling the door open you didn’t have the chance to say anything before a hand was curling around your throat and pushing back into the room. Your hand snapped up, fingers curling around the delicate wrist, but you didn’t try to pull it from you. The door closed quietly behind her.

“You have been making a spectacle of yourself,” she said, squeezing.

“And you’ve been enjoying the show,” you shot back, breathless and hoarse.

She snarled, throwing you back. You stumbled, doing your best not to trip over your own feet. She advanced, slow and steady, each tap of the cane making you lose a little more of your breath. Her eyes swept over your body, looking less than impressed with what she found.

“You think too highly of yourself and your little display,” she said.

You took a step into her personal space, feeling her familiar warmth wash over your exposed skin. Her eyes darted down your body again, lingering on your lips for a moment before meeting yours. You pulled those lips up into a smirk, leaning forward.

“And I think you look at me and remember exactly what I sound like when I orgasm on your tongue,” you murmured.

“Insolence,” she growled, “your base desires are nothing of my concern.”

“Once they were only your concern,” you said, stepping back from her, “but I suppose you’re right. Someone else might want that job now.”

“No one will ever have that job,” she hissed.

“Yes yes, I know. No unauthorised sexual intercourse,” you said, rolling your eyes, enjoying the hint of jealousy in her voice.

Your hand slowly skimmed up your body, lingering on one breast. Her eyes zeroed in on it, darkening in a way that felt familiar. You brushed a thumb over a hardening nipple, a little gasp your only response.

“That doesn’t stop me fantasising about you every night with my fingers knuckle deep inside my pussy.”

Her throat bobbled.

“I used to just remember how it was. You, me, our bed or our bath or our kitchen counter,” you said as you pinched your nipple through the silk of your dress, “but then I got creative. Rather than Mina I had Ms Venable. Disciplining me. Tying me up. Bruising me. Choking me. Degrading me. I found I rather liked those fantasies.”

“You disgust me,” she growled.

“Then why are you thinking about using me for your own pleasure?”

Her eyes darkened and you saw her jaw clench. You knew her, better than you knew yourself. She’d never been good at hiding what she wanted from you, especially when what she wanted was you. You made small noise in the back of your throat as you tugged on your nipple, eyes fluttering closed at the shot of pleasure to your core.

A hand curled around your throat again, forcing you backwards until your back hit the wall. You didn’t bother opening your eyes, rolling your nipple, her name a soft exhalation. Lips brushed the shell of your ear and the scent of lavender curled around you.

“You’re nothing but a dirty whore ruled by your own animal instincts,” she growled in your ear.

“Uh huh,” you hummed, her words lighting your blood on fire. She’d never been one for this before, when it was sweet and soft and full of reassurances. You were having fun exploring this side of her.

“Pathetic,” she snarled, “do you really think this will end well for you?”

“I think it’ll end well for you,” you all but gasped, “you know how good I am with my tongue.”

Her fingers tightened around your throat, cutting off your air supply. Your back arched into your own touch, her warmth brushing against your bare skin. Your eyes opened, finding her watching you, teeth biting into her bottom lip. You lent into her hold, eyes focused on that lip, wanting to bite it until you tasted her blood.

“You want me to use you?” she hissed, “would that bring you pleasure?”

You nodded, watching her lips form the words. You could still remember what they felt like against your skin. They curled up into a cruel smirk.

“On your knees, slut.”

With the hand around your neck she forced you down. You looked up at her from under your lashes, tongue dragging along your lower lip. She let you go, stepping back. With careful movements she set her cane aside, sitting on the edge of your bed. She crooked a finger at you.

You crawled across the floor on hands and knees, practically panting at the thought of getting your mouth on her after so many months. She raised her foot, pressing it against your shoulder, holding you back, heel digging in painfully.

“You think you deserve to touch me?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I do,” you said, not even having to think about, “name one person who knows your body better than me. Name someone who can make you feel as good as I can.”

“Whose to say I haven’t found someone here?” she asked. That same jealousy curled in your gut, whispering in your ear, telling you Ms Mead had replaced you. She didn’t need you.

“Let me prove it,” you begged, surprised by how much you needed it.

“And what have you done to earn the honour?” she asked, “you choose to debase yourself in front of me. You flaunt your body as if that will impress me. You associate with degenerates and air heads. You are nothing and you will never amount to more than nothing.”

“Please,” you breathed, “please let me do this for you.”

Her foot dropped from your shoulder. You crawled forward again, unhindered. You stopped between her feet, dragging your eyes up her body. She was staring down at you, those dark eyes unimpressed but so intent on you.

Your hands skimmed up her calves, finding bare skin under your fingers. You pushed her skirt up, admiring the line of her leg. Your brought your lips to her right leg, finally touching her soft skin, tongue darting out to taste her. So familiar and yet so different.

“Hurry this up,” she growled, “I have places to be.”

“Yes, Ms Venable,” you said, lips brushing her skin.

Her legs parted further, giving you room to continue your exploration up her legs. She was still watching you, hands resting on your comforter, eyes darkening as your fingers slid over her knees. Your nose skimmed along her inner thigh before your breath caught.

Mina had always splurged on nice lingerie. It had been one of those things you’d loved. Silk and lace and satin. Always in shades of purple. She seemed to get a kick out of each new one revealed to you, the way your eyes would widen before you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off her. She planned it to perfection, each reveal making your head spin and desire pool between your legs.

If you’d considered the opportunity for lingerie in the Outpost, it was usually drawn from your imagination, your desire of what you’d like to see Mina in. In reality, you expected something functional, perfunctory, much like you’d found in your own wardrobe. Functional over aesthetic. Basic and simple, serving a purpose beyond stoking desire.

What you hadn’t expected was for her to forego underwear altogether.

Right there, easily accessible, her centre was glistening in the firelight. Fingers tangled in your hair, tugging until a sharp pain in your skull caught your attention. You tipped your head back, finding her staring at you.

“Problem?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Her act of indifference might have worked better if you couldn’t see the effect you’d already had on her. Her fingers tightened in your hair again, pulling past the point of pleasure.

“No, Ms Venable,” you replied, lowering your eyes back to her pretty pussy.

The hand on the back of your head forced you forward, headfirst where she wanted you most.

“Then get to work. Prove to me you’re the best slut I have on offer.”

Your tongue darted out, licking through her folds. The fingers in your hair tightened again. You did it again, revelling in her taste. You’d missed it, more than you’d realised. You hummed, eyes closing as you treasured the moment, tongue delving deeper. You wanted her taste on your tongue forever.

When you ghosted over her clit her fingers clenched. You did it again, wanting to feel the pull. The sharp pain was making your legs feel like jelly. You hadn’t thought that would be something you liked, but then you hadn’t thought you’d like this new Mina before you’d met her. But she was fun, opening up a whole new world of exploration for you.

You let your lips wrap around it, slow to suck. She forced your head harder against her, grinding against you. Your tongue flicked out, determined to hear her moan. The sound of it haunted your dreams. You craved it. You yearned for it. It would fulfil your dreams.

She kept silent.

Your arms hooked around her thighs, keeping them open as you pressed closer in. Your tongue lapped at her, circling her bundle of nerves, feeling her hips rise to meet you. You hummed again, tongue thrusting into her. Her legs pressed in, ignoring your hold on them, contracting around your head.

“Fucking whore,” she hissed, “so desperate for me. It’s pitiful. You disgust me.”

You tried to plunge further in, wanting her to feel you. Your nose bumped against her clit. She forced your head forward, grinding against you, uncaring of how you might be feeling. Your tongue was working hard, thrusting into her, setting a pace that you weren’t sure you could keep up. You looked up, watching the way her face contorted in pleasure. Her lips fell open in a silent moan, eyes closing. You stroked at her internal walls.

“I’m sure I’m your favourite taste. You’d stay there on your knees all day if I’d let you lick at me like a desperate little whore. Would you service me whenever I asked?” You knew you would.

You pulled your tongue from within her, wrapping your lips around her clit. You prised your fingers from her thigh, replacing your tongue, pushing them in until you could curl them, finding the place within her you knew so well.

She moaned.

“Maybe I should take you with me to dinner, have you feed under the table, at my feet as you deserve. Or would you rather eat from me instead? Let the rest of them know what a desperate little slut you are.”

You pressed your thighs together. Your fingers were slow as they pumped inside her, stroking and curling, twisting in a way you’d found she’d liked so much so many months before when the world was still the one you knew. You were sucking on her clit, her fingers pressing you harder, grinding hard against your tongue. The thigh you still held was beginning to tremble and her words were becoming breathy.

“Or maybe I should have you laid out on the table, touching yourself through dinner, let everyone see the control I have over you. Debase yourself in front of them. Show your shame to them all. Remind them you’re nothing but a dirty whore who earned her place here with her body, not through worthwhile means.”

You whined. Her laugh was breathless, fingers in your hair tightening. you could feel your own arousal beginning to drip down your thigh, her words only spurring you on. You wanted all of it, everything she was describing. You wanted her claiming you in front of them. You wanted to debase yourself, her words controlling you, begging her for release for everyone to hear. She owned you, body and soul, and it had taken the end of the world for you to realise how true that was.

“Even Coco is more worthy of her spot here. All you have is your body. Nothing but an object for my pleasure.”

You stroked the spot within her you’d always been able to find in conjuncture with a sharp suck to her clit. Her head fell back, hips jumping forward. Her thighs were squeezing your head, hands forcing you against her. It was hard to breathe but it was unimportant to you, her rising pleasure all that mattered.

“Look best on your knees,” she panted, “desperate to please. Willing to debase yourself, making a spectacle of yourself, demeaning yourself. Think you can please me. Think I’ll like seeing you giving into your animalistic urges. So… So… pathetic.”

She groaned as her internal muscles clenched around your fingers. She was keeping you pinned against her pulsing core, riding your face as hard as she could. With your tongue tasting her, you wondered if she’d cum since the end of the world or if this was the first time in all those months.

Her breath was slow to even out. Your fingers slid from her, your tongue dragging over the skin of your palm to clean yourself up, not wanting to miss a drop of her.

She dragged you up, your knees screaming from being pressed against the stone ground for so long. She ignored your whimper, lips crashing against yours. Her tongue was in your mouth, almost lazy as she stole your breath, giving you what you’d been yearning for since entering the Outpost. It was like kissing your Mina again. Her other hand was pulling up your skirt, fingers skimming your skin, making you whine into her mouth.

With probing fingers she discovered you’d also forgone underwear, bare under her touch. She made a noise, drawing back from the kiss, a look of affected disgust crossing over her face. Her finger ghosted through your folds, lingering on your clit. Your breath froze in your lungs, hips stuttering towards her. She guided you down onto her still bare thigh, bare cunt against her skin.

She curled her lip, watching the way your lips sunk into your bottom lip. The feel of her against you was almost too much. Your hips rocked, a tiny movement that would have been unnoticeable if she hadn’t been watching you so intently.

Her hands grasped your hips, tight enough to leave bruises, keeping you still. You whined again, eyes begging her to let you move. You were dripping with need, her thigh already slick from your arousal. The curl of her lip was undercut by the gleam in her eye, self satisfied and interested in you.

“You disgust me,” she said, “nothing but your base urges motivating you.”

“Ms Venable,” you whined, “please.”

It was torture, being held like that, pressure on your clit but held still. Your breathing was erratic, need filling your veins. Her eyes swept over you, considering you, finding you wanting.

“Go on then,” she said, turning her eyes away from you as if she didn’t care, “rut like the animal you are.”

No matter how much disinterest she tried to affect, her hands were the ones guiding you against her thigh, tensing underneath you. Your head fell back, moaning loudly, wanting her to hear how much she still effected you. She was setting a tortuous pace, your clit slowly dragging over her skin. You were whimpering, trying to catch her eye again, wanting her to see how desperate you were.

Your hips rocked faster, harder, grinding down against her. She was slow to turn her gaze back to you, sweeping over your undulating body again. Her name mingled with pleas and thanks was all that fell from your lips. She snarled at you, only flooding you with more heat. You liked how she degraded you, even as she gave you the pleasure you were so desperate for.

Her fingers grasped your chin as your head began to tip back again, forcing you to look down at her. You moaned, staring in her eyes as your hips ground down, seeking out more pleasure. She growled, pressing her thigh up harder. You wanted to bury your fingers in her hair, feel the silky strands against your skin, pull the pins out so they’d tumble down her back. You wanted to kiss her deeply, burying your moans in her mouth. You wanted her to watch you come undone.

You made a small noise in the back of your throat, breathy and throaty, a half whine. Her eyes were watching you, lips pressed together, a flush high on her cheekbones, barely visible in the firelight. You were rocking against her, chasing your high, the spring tightening within you. Your fingers clenched around nothing, not knowing if you could touch her, muscles straining to the point of trembling.

“Aren’t you done yet?” she drawled.

Your breath caught, body tensing above her, your orgasm crashing into you. Wave after wave moved through you, her name sweet nectar on your tongue as you cried it. A smirk settled on her face, eyes practically smouldering, fingers tightening on your hips again. Your head fell forward, seeking out her lips.

She allowed you to kiss her, surprisingly soft. Her tongue stroked against yours and despite the fact your heart was still beating double time from your orgasm, heat stoked in your lower stomach again. You sunk your teeth into her lip, giving in to your impulse. A hand pressed between your shoulder blades, forcing you against her body. Soft supple curves pressed against yours, the rough fabric of her dress scraping your skin.

The kiss softened again, more reminiscent of times long since gone. You sighed into her mouth, hands finally landing on her shoulder, thumb brushing against her pulse point. With strength that had always surprised you, she lifted you from her thigh, laying you back on the bed. Her hands skimmed down your body, featherlight until you were thrumming under her fingers.

“I must admit,” she murmured against your lips, “I have missed you.”

“Really?” you asked, drawing back just far enough to see her properly.

“You are the owner of my heart, little one. Holding back from having you has been torture,” she said, fingers stroking through your hair, pulling leftover pins from it.

“Then why were you?” you asked, wondering how long you’d have your Mina back.

“Maintaining distance was necessary. I could smuggle you in but once here I couldn’t show any such favouritism. Not if I wished to remain in charge, unquestioned and complete,” she said, “and you made it so incredibly difficult, little one. I felt those beautiful eyes watching me, looking so lost and hurt. All I wanted was to take that hurt away.”

“I just didn’t understand how I’d lost you. The end of the world and you were there but you weren’t and I had no one.”

Her fingers were still running through your hair, comforting and soft. Her other arm curled around your waist, rolling until she was lying on the bed, holding you close. You rested your head on her shoulder, pressing yourself to her with a level of neediness you didn’t usually feel around her. After months without, you needed it more than you needed air.

“So now what?” you asked her.

“What do you mean?” she asked, lips brushing your hairline.

“We just had unauthorised sex,” you said, “am I going to be shot?”

“Of course not.” She stiffened and you could hear the horror in her voice, “I authorised it. I am the leader of Outpost Three, after all.”

“Yeah, that whole thing has definitely awoken something in me,” you said.

Her soft chuckle vibrated through her chest, passing into yours. You pressed closer, legs tangling together, uncaring of the arousal that still coated both of your skin. Her lips pressed to your forehead.

“I noticed, little one,” she said, “perhaps next time I’ll tie you up and tease you until you think you’re going mad.”

Your shaky exhalation earned you another kiss, soft and lingering, a promise for you to cash in.

“In public we shall remain as always. The leader and a Purple. Behind closed doors, we shall be us again,” she said, “if that’s agreeable to you?”

“I’ll take whatever I can get of you,” you replied, “you’re my world and I’ve missed you so much.”

Your name was sweet on her tongue, a soft sigh, a small smile. You lent up, kissing her until she was melting beneath your touch. You felt liquid, dreamlike, you hopes coming true right in front of you.

“I love you,” you muttered against her lips.

She rolled you, hovering above you, staring down with those dark eyes. Firelight danced across her skin and she’d never looked so beautiful to you.

“I love you too, little one,” she said, before kissing you once again.

[imagines-ahs]

[mikyapixie]

𝟖 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐢 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝟓 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐦!!!

𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙸𝙶𝙶𝙴𝚂𝚃 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚄𝚁𝚈!!!

[pattiluponesno1fan-gayestswiftie]

This is me if you even care

So just know every time you write those gut wrenching fics this is who you're making cry

[citizenscreen]

Evelyn Venable, who is rumored to be the model for the Lady with the Torch in the Columbia Pictures logo, outside her Hollywood home in 1938. Aside from her work in pictures, Venable was the voice for the Blue Fairy in Walt Disney's PINOCCHIO (1940).

[enchantedruin]

I've been assigned to evaluate the people here and select those most worthy of survival. I could take all of you—or none of you. Those who make it live. Those who don't—end up like my horses.

[dreamypqulson]

Hi :) i love your writing and was hoping you could do one wear Cordelia finds out y/n is sh on her thigh? Or something <3

— my love, mine all mine

pairing: cordelia goode x reader

word count: 1500

warnings: self harm & depression

note: i got this request during my break so it’s a little old but i still wanted to write it cause it fits with my life right now!!!

You stared blankly at your bloody thigh in front of you. With the blade still grasped in your hand you tried to breathe in, and hold for five seconds, and then let it all out. It would help they told you. It would take away the misery until you didn't feel like hurting yourself anymore.

But you laughed a little as you watched the blood drip. It felt good and that was the worst part. You wanted to keep going. You almost did. You wanted the thoughts to shut up for a minute. But right as the blade lightly touched your flesh, there was a knock at the door.

And it snapped you out of it for a minute. Really, how long were you sitting on the cold bathroom floor for? Had anyone really noticed your absence or do they just need to get into the bathroom?

"Mhm?" You hummed, shaky but nonetheless clear.

"Are you okay, darling? You disappeared on me." Right as you heard that sweet familiar voice, you bounced off of the floor. Frantically, you grabbed a tissue and applied pressure to the broken skin after hiding the blade in the back of the cabinet.

"Yeah, sorry. I'll be out in a minute."

Cordelia didn't know about what was going on. Of course, she knows you struggle with mental health, but she'd hadn't yet found out about your legs. And you weren't planning on telling her.

By the way that you spoke, she felt like something was wrong. And, naturally, she wouldn't back down. She needed to help you with whatever was wrong.

"Can I come in?" She jiggled the doorknob but it was locked. You don't ever lock doors.

The blood leaked through the thin tissue and you cursed under your breath. You couldn't clean up with a wash cloth right now. You wouldn't have enough time to hide the evidence.

You looked up at the door and your blood ran cold. Answer her! You have to answer her before she comes in!

You pulled your sweatpants back up and flushed away the bloody tissues down the toilet so she couldn’t see them in the trash. "I'm coming," you said, and at this point, you were out of breath from the verge of a panic attack.

You opened the door and Cordelia's eyes widened. You were clearly frantic and you tried so hard to not cringe at the feeling of your pants rubbing against your raw cuts.

"Are you okay?" She asked again, but now she's more suspicious. You just nod your head and walk right by her. She follows you as you throw yourself on the bed.

Something doesn't feel right to her, but she tries to make it better by laying beside you and kissing you. You started to giggle looking over at her and for a moment, you completely forget about everything that just happened. She does too.

It isn't until she looks down that her eyes widen. And you're always so cautious about getting caught that your heart immediately drops.

"Why are you bleeding?" She asks, and sits up. You sit up too, and that's when you notice the patch of crimson on your thigh. Of course you'd just happen to be wearing grey sweatpants.

"Shit," you angrily curse, and start to get up off the bed. "I'm not sure. I'll go check it out though."

You try to head towards the bathroom but Cordelia grabs your arm so you can't move. You're fucked and you know it. "No, y/n. Why are you bleeding? Do not lie to me."

You always want Cordelia when you're injured or sick, so it was unusual for you to go run off. And after you acting strange in the bathroom, she was starting to think that she knew what is going on.

"I'm not lying, Cordelia! Are you serious right now?" Your voice raised slightly, going into a defensive mode, but Cordelia was quick to calm you.

"Hey, shh, shh. None of that. Just be honest with me, sweetie, i'm not mad." She reached up and cupped your cheek. Your lip started to tremble and you couldn't hold back the waterfall of tears. You couldn't bring yourself to tell her. "Are you hurting yourself?" She asks gently.

All you do is nod, and the waterworks stream heavier down your face. You simply shatter and Cordelia wraps her arms around you like she's trying to hold every piece of you together. "Oh, my baby. Okay, shh. It’s okay," the blonde cooes in your ear, rubbing calming circles into your back.

Her warm arms and floral scent keeps you grounded. You feel safe. Maybe it is okay.  "Do you want to talk about it, my lovely? Or no?"

You shake your head. You're too tired, and you don't feel like explaining everything. It's too much, too heavy, and you feel too weak.

"Okay. That's okay. Can I at least clean them for you? I don't want my girl getting an infection."

For once you speak up a quiet, "yes that's okay," and it hurts but you know that you’re being too nonresponsive already and you feel like a lot of work right now.

Cordelia grabs your hand and brings you back into the bathroom. She waits for your permission with her fingers resting on the waistband of your sweatpants. She'd wait here forever until you were ready. But you feel like you’ve already wasted so much of her time.

You nod your head and then Cordelia starts to slide your pants down your legs and you want her to stop. You want to take your permission back but you can't seem to talk. You can't seem to do anything and, god, you feel like you can't even breathe.

She doesn't gasp when she sees your bloody thigh. Her face doesn't contort into disgust. She looks so soft and gentle and you wonder how someone could be so pure enough to love someone like you.

She lifts you onto the bathroom counter. You don't even notice that you moved at first.

And even as Cordelia was looking straight at the bloody cuts, you still felt the need to lie and tell her that you weren't hurting actually yourself. It didn't feel real. Almost like you were shoved into another persons body with all of these scars and hurt on it.

You notice Cordelia looking at your whole thigh, how she can see all the old scars there. It hurts the most for her to see recent ones. Ones she can tell have been from the past weeks, even days, and she had absolutely no clue about it until now.

"I want you to tell me, my love," she says, so softly, and smiles gently too like she's not talking about you hurting yourself. "Okay? Whenever you feel like this, come to me, baby."

You nod simply, like it's the easiest task in the world. But you're not sure that you'll be able to even do that. You can see the pain and worry on Cordelia's face beneath that smile, and you don't want to hurt her anymore.

She grabs your hand, holds it there tightly. She knows you always like to hold it when you're upset or nervous, or even when you get shots at the doctors. She doesn't need to tell you that you're allowed to squeeze it; you already know you can.

Cordelia dabs away the blood with a wet cloth. It sends a sting throughout your entire body. You squeeze her hand and bite your lip hard enough to draw blood. All Cordelia can say is, "I know, I know, baby. I'm sorry. I'm almost done." And you wonder why she's apologizing. I did this. I brought this on myself. It's my fault.

Cordelia gently applies some antiseptic to your cuts and then she adds some band-aids on top. They're not the boring tan ones either. They're colorful and it even puts a smile on your face because it's such a Cordelia thing to do.

"There we go. All better," she says, as if cutting yourself wasn't the scariest thing in the world for her. But right now it is all better. You're bandaged up and Cordelia is holding your hand and smiling at you. Right now you don't hurt as much.

She leans forward and places a kiss on your nose. You crinkle it up and giggle at her. "You're so pretty, ya know." And it's not a question. She's not asking if you know that you're pretty. Because she knows that you really don't think you are. Especially not like this. But it doesn't matter right now. She just needs you to know that she thinks it so then it has to be true.

You're gonna cry again because your heart feels so tender, but then Cordelia is talking again and you get lost away in her voice. "How about we go have some hot cocoa by the fire? You feel like a little icicle." She says it like nothing has changed. Like she hadn't just found out that you're really a danger to yourself.

And you nod because you're still the same person you were to her thirty minutes ago. You still love cuddling her by the fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate that she made you. That hasn't changed, neither has her love for you.

[stayevildarling]

Cordelia Goode x Reader- Soulmate

A/N: based on the song „Soulmate“ by Natasha Bedingfield 🤍

tw/tags: female reader, angst, hurt/comfort

word count: 4.5k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00 , @ninaahelvar , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay, @laavaagirl, @wtfffisgoingonn

As you make your way through the quiet academy, the only sound is rain softly pattering against the large windows, you halt a second in the large hallway, remembering the first time you ever stepped inside this now familiar place. It had been some years since but back then everything was different, you had no home, no idea what was wrong with you other than the occasional outbursts and remembering some words from your childhood about witchpowers in your family. That night you sat on your laptop, aimlessly googling and eventually stumbling upon a news article and Miss Robichaux‘s, and you had no idea your life would change this much.

And it had undeniably changed. You found a home within the white walls of the academy, a place you feel like belonging and being yourself without having to change. By now you didn‘t only understand your powers but also able to conquer them and understanding how to use them to the point you are teaching classes of your own. This place and the people in it made your life worth living, giving you a life rather than what you had called living before. Your eyes dart towards the potraits on the wall, seeing the current supreme and woman who had taken you in. From that first moment she saw you she could see your potential, that you were destined for greater things than simply being a witch and learning your powers before moving on.

She knew you belonged and she undeniably made you feel that way, offering you a teaching position some months in as well as a home. She never truly did treat you like a student, despite the many one on one sessions, some in the middle of the night when your powers surged and some under tears as memories of your past haunted you. Cordelia could feel it whenever she was near you, both the connection and your talent and you never proved her otherwise through your time there. The blonde and you eventually grew closer, late night conversations over tea almost a daily occurrence at this point as neither of you could find sleep most of the times. You learnt about her past, her marriage, her mother and the pain she endured since rising as supreme.

And when the responsibilities of being supreme became too much, you were always sure to take some of the work away for her. Or the times you could tell she is doubting herself again, the council meetings or meetings with other schools where her hands would twitch that familiar way. But your gentle eyes were enough for the supreme, that reassuring smile that held so many words. That she wasn‘t like her mother, that she had made this place special, giving many girls a home and a mother figure as they never experienced those things. That this coven couldn‘t be run better and that she belonged. And each time her smile would fade for a moment seeing those words on your mind before she felt confident again, putting her supreme face on and squeezing your hand afterwards, enough as a thank you as you and the blonde worked without many words exhanged.

You never once thought about leaving this place, happy and confident with your classes and what you had achieved, seeing many of the younger witches confide in you and helping them rise to their best potential, watching some leaving back to their families and others building a life of their own. Cordelia made sure to give you your own bedroom, a large office beside her own, letting you use this place however you please, giving you your own section in the greenhouse to explore your love for potions and mixing those together, even if the smell sometimes killed her when you tried another weird experiment from an old spell book.

„Admiring her again?“ you hear the sound of Madison‘s voice pulling you out of your thoughts before quickly averting your gaze from the supreme‘s portrait and focusing on her. You simply scoff before she smirks, always teasing you two but never having succeded so far in making either of you falter. „You coming?“ she asks almost annoyed before your eyebrows furrow. „Oh come on- valentine‘s day?“ she asks as she lights a cigarette and your eyebrow raises considering Cordelia‘s strict rules about smoking inside. „Right“ you mumble, remembering the girls requested to decorate for Valentine‘s Day together considering it was coming up. You follow behind her, remembering how Cordelia was always so big on these things but the girls having to get her to agree for this one.

As you step into the hallway, you find most girls with boxes of decoration, Cordelia standing at the top of the stairs to supervise, her eyes falling on you swiftly before smiling and focusing her attention back on the chaos around you. The witches waste no time in setting up some heart ribbons and garlands, using their magic to make some heart ballons rise to the ceiling and filling bowls of valentine‘s day candy in the kitchen and placing it in the living room as well as common areas. „Thank you for letting us do this Ms Cordelia“ one of the younger witches chuckles excitedly and the supreme simply smiles watching both her younger and older witches enjoy themselves, a rare moment between the usual chaos.

„It‘s kind of you to let them do this“ you mumble as you make it to the top of the stairs and stand beside her, hands leaning against the railing. „They are having fun so“ she smiles before her eyes dart to you, almost a second too long if you wouldn‘t have been so caught up in the moment. The two of you lose yourself in some small talk and catching up about the academy before one of the younger witches cheers excitedly. „Wow“ you exclaim, seeing the usual white academy filled with shades of red and pink, hearts around you everywhere but still making the academy feel as majestic as ever. „Alright enough girls“ she smiles before standing tall „Back to classes“.

The days following, the academy was filled with a different kind of buzz to usual, little candy wrappers everywhere, rose petals and girls excitedly squealing about cards they recieved from their crushes, either within or outside the academy. Equally, Cordelia had noticed how you seemed a little quiter, drawn back as she often found you on your own in the greenhouse or in your office, noticing the subtle changes in your behavior during your nightly tea sessions. But the blonde wasn‘t one to pry, knowing you both had an equal trust in each other by now and if something bothered you, you would come to her. But you never did and her concern grew with each passing minute, seeing the forced smiles whenever a witch was nearby and how you suddenly seemed to carry a deep sadness, one that wasn‘t there before.

Unbeknowest to you, the supreme had the advantage as she could read your thoughts. As the most powerful witch her powers allowed her to enter minds with ease but she actively had to use the incarnation whether in her mind or with a flick of her wrist but with you it came naturally. From the first day she showed you around the academy and every day following, she could hear every single thought the subtle „wow“ when seeing her for the first time which she brushed off or the other thoughts about her that she had been brushing off for years. All she had to do was be near you for every thought of your own to repeat in her mind, both a blessing and a curse. And she had never told you, not wanting to invade your privacy but equally feeling bad, worried if she told you now it may change things. And on top of it all, she had no clue what it meant, why she had this ability, not realizing the two of you are bound by something even stronger than magic- fate.

Standing in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the girls, you are interrupted when one of the younger witches excitedly finds you and shows you her valentines card. „Look Ms, I finally got one“ she cheers which causes you to chuckle „I‘m so happy for you“ you smile as you inspect the card. „Ms.. do you have a valentine?“ she asks which causes your heart to ache for a moment before shaking your head. She frowns before waddling on, finding the supreme at the end of the room and showing her the card as well. Madison can‘t help but linger, having of course witnessed the entire thing before whispering „Don‘t be sad, we both know Ms Loveable is already in your life“ she teases before glancing at Cordelia at the other end of the room engaging with the younger witch from before.

You shake your head, scoffing at her words, this not having been the first time Madison had winded you up about this. „Can you take over?“ you look at one of the older witches beside you before she nods, setting the knife down and letting them finish dinner. The supreme‘s gaze follows you leaving outside, watching as you retreat to the greenhouse yet again and she can‘t help but follow, having seen Madison appear behind you again and despite not hearing the words exchanged, wondering whether maybe it had been the blonde upsetting you all along. In a swift motion she follows you, halting outside the greenhouse as your thoughts repeat in her mind in that familiar way again.

„Who doesn't long for someone to hold? Who knows how to love you without being told. Somebody tell me why I'm on my own? If there's a soulmate for everyone“

The words send a pang of guilt and heartache through her as she realizes what had been bothering you for this long, how the whole valentine‘s day probably upset you more than she believed. In the entirety of knowing you, love had never really been a subject in your conversations, of course she knew by now you weren‘t taken considering everything but again she had no idea you longed for this so much. It‘s not just the words themselves that haunt her, it‘s the loneliness and heartache lingering in them. The supreme had assumed your quietness lately had to do with something academy related or even Madison- she had no idea the truth ran much deeper than those things.

She stands still as she considers her options, unsure whether to walk away and let you be or be there for you but before she can make that decision, you turn almost as if sensing her presence before she enters the door and stepping forward. „Delia?“ you ask a little hesitantly, usually calling her Cordelia amongst the others but the nickname coming naturally by now after your many late night tea sessions together and midnight conversations. „I..“ she begins but stops when she realizes she doesn‘t really have a reason for following you out here in the first place or at least not one she could admit to you. Instead she settles for something safer „I just wanted to check on you“ she announces.

You turn back towards the wooden table, letting go of your tight grip on the edges before shaking your head slightly „I‘m fine“ you explain, putting on a brave smile as you didn‘t want her to know about this. But she can hear the lie before it even leaves your lips, being able to read you so well at this point. „You have been distant lately, quiet“ she tries softly, hands clasped in front of her as her eyes search for you in the hopes they could reach you. „And I know Valentine‘s Day can be..“ she begins but you cut her off.

„Annoying?“ you chuckle as you turn your body towards her, trying to play it off. „It‘s fine honestly, I just needed some air“ you reassure but Cordelia doesn‘t move, doesn‘t look convinced and for a moment you think she may press further but then she exhales and takes another step closer, reaching out as if wanting to touch you but stopping herself just in time. „If there is anything you need“ she begins but again you finish what is on her mind „I know Delia, always“ you reassure. „I always do“ you promise and there is something there in her expression then, something unreadable before she brushes it off and moves on.

When the blonde leaves the greenhouse, she can‘t help but feel torn, tonight another reminder of something that clearly lingered, obvious to anyone but you two apparently or maybe it was just her. She knows she is holding back, unable to understand why just yet. She knows she shouldn‘t ache at the thought of you looking for love somewhere else, just like she knows she shouldn’t fail at pretending something she already knows and has maybe known for years of being beside you at this coven. She loved you.

For the next few days, Cordelia decides to keep her distance, telling herself she was busy, drowning herself in teaching, academy and headmistress duties and paperwork, wanting to avoid dealing with this as much as she could. But you lingered on her mind, at night unable to sleep but not searching for you in the kitchen or greenhouse like she usually would, pretending to ignore conversations when the girls talked about you and how much they love your classes and only passing you by with polite smiles instead of the usual conversations the two of you would have.

It‘s not that the supreme doesn‘t care about you, it‘s that she cares too much. She has known for a while, the fact that she could hear your thoughts, uncommon even for a supreme to this extend, that your presence made her feel safe, that her skin errupted in goosebumps whenever you would touch her. That her heart would pound whenever your eyes locked with her own, that all she wanted to do with the lonely nights was spending them with you. But then came the but‘s, considering you were technically her student to begin with, the age difference, her failed marriage and the fact that she had never allowed herself to love a women like this or be loved by a women even though she had known for some time now.

Everything confused her , questioning every moment with you leading up to this. And Cordelia can only do what she knows best, lock it all away and pretend it‘s not there in order to avoid dealing with the heartache and confusion of her own feelings. But she could see the sadness in your eyes, seeing how you had been tensing for days when she was nearby, hearing footsteps outside her office in the night, knowing it was you complementing whether to check on her or to leave her be. She knew.

And then everything was about to fall apart. It was late one evening, the academy quiet as most of the students had gone to bed and Cordelia begins her rounds, ensuring everything is order. She just turned the lights off downstairs before she sees your reflection in the greenhouse and even though she knows she shouldn‘t, her legs automatically lead her to you before she hears it. A quiet and broken sound coming from nearby and her heart immediately tightens as she follows it and when she steps inside, finding you sitting on one of the benches, head bowed, shoulders trembling.

The imagge of you crying causes her heart to ache as she realizes it had been her. She knows it with certainty, the way it sinks deep into her bones. For a moment she is unable to move or speak, that familiar feeling returning in her chest, the urge to comfort you and to make you happy, something that had been there for weeks, months and maybe even longer. It takes her another second to finally step forward „Sweetheart?“ her voice is gentle and hesitant as she moves closer to you „What‘s wrong?“ she asks, causing you to quickly lift your head and wiping your cheeks, trying to compose yourself.

„It’s nothing“ you say, voice hoarse „I just- I‘m fine“ you lie, not wanting her to know she was the reason for your sadness. But you aren‘t fine and both of you know it. The blonde kneels in front of you, searching your face in that familiar way, something inside her cracking wide open at seeing you like this. She had spent days trying to convince herself that pulling away was the right thing to do for now but seeing you like this, she sees how wrong she truly was.

This wasn‘t just about her anymore. It was about you too. The way she had been hurting you, so caught up in her own fears that she ignored what was right in front of her and the fact she was breaking the one person she swore to never hurt, sent her into something even more painful than she had ever endured before. „I‘m sorry“ she whispers after swallowing hard, taking you by surprise. Your breath catches in your throat before shaking your head „You don‘t have anything to be sorry for“ you explain. But she does and tonight, for the first time, she wasn‘t going to run from it.

Slowly and cautiously, she reaches out, taking your hands in hers as she kneels in front of you. „I do“ she confesses „I‘ve been aoviding you, pushing you away and that wasn‘t fair to you“ she admits. Your fingers tighten around hers, slightly almost as if too afraid to hold on too tight, afraid she may slip away again. And that‘s when Cordelia realizes, she never ever wants to be the teason for you to cry again. Something shifts inside her in the rareness of the moment, something irreversible. The supreme had spent too long denying this, and looking at you now she knows, she can‘t keep running from this, from you.

The silence stretches between you, heavy, uncertain but your eyes speak volumes. There is something raw in them, aching, desperate and for a moment Cordelia forgets how to breathe. She knows what you are saying without ever opening your mouth and that‘s why it hits her so hard. You loved her. It‘s the way you are looking at her, like she is your entire world, in the way your grip lingers and the way she can feel your heart almost as if it is beating for only her. The blonde exhales shakily, shifting just a little as her fingers curl around yours a little firmer. But then the guilt hits her. She knows she should stay quiet and not tell you, knowing it would not only ruin the moment but risk ruining so much more between you. But she couldn‘t hold it back, not when she has known for so long and able to read you.

„I“ she begins but hesitates, realizing what she is about to do. „I hear you sometimes“ she admits, almost a whisper. „Your thoughts“ she confirms as your breath catches and your whole world stays still. „Not always“ she continues gently, hoping it would soothe what she is about to admit to you. „But enough- enough to know“ she admits, vulnerability in her voice as her eyes well up with tears. „Know what?“ you ask a little dumbfounded, of course knowing her abilities but so taken back in the moment that you don‘t even understand her words.

She doesn‘t speak at first, being able to see in your eyes the hurt she just caused you, the trust you had put in her that she just broken. But your eyes searching hers causes her to falter „How you feel“ she admits, a tear slipping down her cheek „I can hear your thoughts.. it‘s not always and not intentional but I can“ she admits and if it wasn‘t this serious, wasn‘t for the hurt in your eyes she would feel relieved for finally having you know. Silence stretches between you as her words sink in and the reality of it all closes in on you. „How long?“ you ask, almost desperatly searching her eyes again and when she avoids your gaze you know it had been from the beginning.

Your hands leave hers, rushed and she almost cries harder at the loss she feels in that moment, knowing she had lost the trust you placed in her. Without thinking you move, leaving her kneeling there as you make your way to the door „Y/N, I‘m sorry“ she pleads almost desperately not wanting you to go like this, scared you are slipping away for good. „Why?“ you suddenly halt, not understanding as a billion questions linger on your mind. „Why can you hear them?“ you ask confused, knowing about her abilities but also knowing this wasn‘t normal, not to this extend and not even for supreme.

„I didn‘t want to, I tried blocking it I promise but it just kept happening and I didn‘t know how to tell you“ she apologizes, the sincerity in her voice making you doubt everything. „Cordelia why?“ you ask again, the usage of her full name sending another pang of guilt through her chest. „Answer me“ you demand, being able to tell by her features as she stands that she knows. „Cordelia“ you warn as you see her holding back, feeling like she at least owes you the truth now after everything. „Because we are bound Y/N“ she raises her voice, frustration and emotions bubbling over as she stomps her feet. „Bound?“ you ask a little baffled before she steps forward, her features apologetic „Soulmates“ she admits, raw and vulnerable feeling the weight of her own words.

The blonde can see the confusion in your expression, how you are doubting her words, how it makes no sense right now. But you don‘t say anything, feeling your chest tight from her words and your own emotions bubbling over as you walk away, your steps quick as you find your own bedroom again, needing nothing more than peace right now as you practically collapse into the door, sliding down to your knees as soon as you close it behind you. Your head repeats her words, realizing how she had always known and you aren‘t sure what‘s worse, the fact she never told you even in moments where she could hear every single one of your thoughts or the fact that she didn‘t want you.

For days Cordelia tried, talking at first but when she realized it was too soon she tried it in a more subtle way, leaving tea outside your door in the morning, sending lunch upstairs or dinner to your office when you would skip it or leaving a book she knows you would love on your bed. It killed her how she could feel you everywhere, see and feel your pain but unable to take it away and knowing she caused it, killed her even more. Neither of you knew the night following would break everything lose as you sit in your bedrooms, staring at the ceiling as sleep wouldn‘t find you, only each other on your minds and aching hearts.

It was Madison that got on your nerves again, pushed and pushed you until you couldn‘t stand it anymore. You had never spoken up to her, not when she was unfair to you and not when she would tease you about the supreme but tonight was enough and even Cordelia heard your voice from upstairs, how it echoed through the silent academy as you finally told Madison to shut the fuck up. The supreme follows you without thinking, down the hallway and into the courtyard and finally the greenhouse as she watches you stand there, fists clenched at your sides, breathing uneaven.

„Y/N?“ she tries „Delia please“ you practically beg, not wanting this right now, not wanting her to be the one calming you down. „Please don‘t do this, don‘t shut me out“ she pleads as she watches you still turned away from her. She moves closer „Don‘t tell me you are fine“ she tries before you squeeze your eyes shut „It doesn‘t matter“ you mutter, voice sounding like you don‘t care at all when truly you did. „It matters to me“ she counters and you almost scoff before turning towards her „Why? because we are bound?“ you ask almost in disappointment.

But Cordelia couldn‘t stand it anymore, couldn‘t stand the way she could feel you, knowing how every inch of you felt and knowing she could fix it if only you let her. The last few days made her realize she couldn‘t keep doing this anymore, hide and run from her own feelings. „No“ she begins „I can‘t keep feeling you and not- You are everywhere all the time and even when I tried to push it away you are always there“ she sighs, tears pooling in her eyes again. „Yes Delia because we are bound“ you repeat the words but you don‘t seem to understand.

„Because I love you“ she almost shouts in frustration, stomping her foot in that all too familiar way. The silence that follows is thick and suffocating as your mouth hangs open, seeing that something changed in the way she looked at you, that same thing in her eyes but something gone, the holding back and hesitation you saw in her brown eyes before. Cordelia searches your face, afraid she said too much, said the wrong thing but then you speak raw and vulnerable „I love you too, I always have“ you admit under your own tears.

And this time Cordelia doesn‘t hold back, stepping forward and cupping your cheeks, letting herself feel all the emotions, your heart beating uncontrollably, the fear, the ache and the longing but this time she doesn‘t fight it. You lean in, foreheads touching as your hearts beat in synch and when your lips meet almost painfully slow, aching, it feels like the bond finally settles, the pieces falling into place. Almost like as if it was waiting all along. And who would have known that after everything Madison had been right all along, your soulmate had already been in your life, much longer than you thought and certainly much closer than you assumed.

Neither of you let go as you hungrily cling to each other, afraid the moment would fleet away, lips aching and tears mingling with each others, feeling the strong arms of your soulmate around you. Delia, your Delia.

[grilledcheeseandguavajelly]

⟡˚⊹ Agatha Harkness Masterlist ⊹˚⟡

⟡˚⊹ Lady Paulson Masterlist ⊹˚⟡

⟡˚⊹ SwanQueen Masterlist ⊹˚⟡

[ilfascinodelvago]

[marchtomydrums]

Old Habits

Billie Dean Howard x Cordelia Goode x Wilhemina Venable x Reader

Your last class was canceled today so you decided to surprise Billie with a visit. She's been working hard this week and sometimes you like to surprise your girlfriends with lunch.

You walked into the building smiling at the women at the front desk. She smiled as you walked by with your hands full of Billie’s favorite takeout.

You opened her office door and what you saw next was completely unexpected. There was Billie's face deep between some woman’s thighs as she trembled on her desk.

“Oh god, Billie Dean.” the woman moaned.

“Billie?” you called out.

The blonde's head pops up quickly as she looks at you.

“Y/n?”

“I...I um I brought you lunch but it looks like you already have some,” you mumbled setting the bags down on the table.

“Y/n.”

“See ya at home,” you said quickly as you ran out of the office.

“Wait no! Y/n! Y/n!” Billie screams running after you.

You didn't stop you ran as fast as you could. You cried the whole way home going over the scene again and again in your mind.

Once you made it home and behind closed doors, you snapped. Your sobs were loud and painful. It felt like your heart was being squeezed in your chest.

“Sweetheart?” Cordelia called out.

“Oh honey what's the matter?” she asked sitting beside you on the couch.

You cried harder as she held you. It didn't take long for Mina to walk into the living room.

“What's wrong? What happened?” she asked. Cordelia shrugged her shoulders as she tried to calm you down.

The front door slammed shut as Billie walked in.

“Oh thank god you guys are here. Y/n I.”

“Get away from me,” you screamed.

“Y/n please let me explain.”

“Yes please do please explain to them how you were cheating on us!”

“What?” Cordelia and Mina said in unison.

“Yeah. I went to her office with lunch to surprise her and there she is fucking some woman in her office.” You shout.

Cordelia and Wilhelmina’s heads snap towards Billie. “What?” they asked in unison shocked to hear this.

“It’s not what you think,” Billie says to them.

“It was Ally.” She says.

The name means nothing to you but you notice how the other two women’s shoulders relax a bit as if this is good news.

“Who the fuck is Ally?” You hissed.

“Ally is a friend of ours. She lives in Michigan. She’s a senator there.” Billie says.

“Okay. And?” You asked still not understanding.

“Babydoll before you the three of us would invite others to sleep with us. Mostly random women we met out but sometimes friends. Ally is someone we used to sleep with often whenever she came to town to visit. She hasn’t been here in a while but she showed up today.”

“Wait a minute. So you’ve all been sleeping with her since we’ve been together?” You asked looking at each of them.

“No.” They quickly say.

“Sweat heart we haven’t been with anyone since you,” Cordelia says softly.

“Well until now…” Mina adds looking at Billie pointedly.

“Hey! We never talked about Ally and if our plans changed. It’s not like I planned this she just showed up. It’s nothing that any of us haven’t done before.” She says defensively.

You look over at the blonde tears streaming down your face. “How would you feel if you saw me like that? Huh? Pinned down by some other woman throwing my head back in pleasure as she eats me out?!”

Mina growls at the thought of someone else having their hands on you. Out of the three of them, she is the most possessive.

Billie Dean lowered her head in shame.

“I wouldn’t like that. I’m so sorry y/n I swear to you it wasn’t something I had planned nor would I do it again. Babydoll please believe me.” She begged reaching out to hold your hand.

You snatched your hand back rejecting her advances and shaking your head.

“I don’t want to be touched. I want to be alone I need to think.” You said making your way towards the stairs.

The three women watch you disappear upstairs.

“Nice going Billie Dean!” Mina hissed at the blonde.

“I didn’t do it on purpose you know how Ally is.”

“Yeah, I do. But that still gives you no right to just have your way with her. I thought we left that lifestyle once we became involved with y/n.” She says looking over at Cordelia.

“I thought so too but Billie Dean is right we never spoke about what would happen if Ally or any one of our friends returned. I think the two of us subconsciously decided we were done with that once we met y/n. Maybe Billie had other thoughts?” She asked looking over at Billie.

“So you two are just going to blame this on me? I never thought about being with anyone else but the three of you. Ever. Ally is different though. I thought… I thought it was okay.”

“Well, it wasn’t,” Mina adds.

“I know that now!” Billie huffs.

“We will figure it out,” Cordelia says.

“I hope y/n will forgive me.” Billie cries.

Cordelia frowns as she brings Billie into her arms holding her tightly. Mina looks at the sight in front of her as her heart breaks. One for Billie Dean and one for you. While she was upset with Billie she didn’t like to see any of you upset.

“Just give her some time. She’s hurt but she will come around. I will speak to her.” Mina says.

“Thank you.” Billie smiles.

The three women smile at each other sending looks of love to one another as the sound of Billie’s phone interrupts them.

Billie frowns as she looks down at her phone.

“Who is it, Billie?” Cordelia asked.

“It’s Ally.” She sighs handing the phone over to Cordelia.

Cordelia and Mina look over the text.

Are you lovely ladies free tonight? I miss the three of you.

Flight leaves at noon on Friday.

Let me know.

-Ally.

[camillelespanayesbtch]

✨Sarah Paulson Masterlist✨

!!!NO MINORS!!! 18+

Diane Sherman: Eyes boring a way through me Paralyze, controlling completely

Diane Sherman: Co-com-comparison is killing me slowly...And I’m so sick of myself, rather be, rather be. Anyone, anyone else

Diane Sherman, Ally Mayfair: We're Making Reasons To Destroy Our Believing. I See You Looking At Me, and Now I Don't Know Who To Believe

Diane Sherman: Pick Your Poison

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Billie Dean Howard: Strangers to Friends, Friends into Lovers, and Strangers Again P1, P2

Billie Dean Howard: Maybe You'll Start Slipping Slowly And Find Me Again

Wilhemina Venable, Billie Dean Howard: I see darkness in you

Billie Dean Howard, Audrey Tindall: Open hand or closed fist would be fine. The blood is red and sweet as cherry wine

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Wilhemina Venable: You stalker, watcher, psychopath (There's only one Wilhemina Fucking Venable)

Wilhemina Venable: Think About Your Hero, When You’re At Ground Zero

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Cordelia Goode: Baby’s Got Trouble. Don’t Know How To Live. Don’t Want To Die

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Sally McKenna: Hate To See Your Heart Break

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Xandra Terrell: There Is Something About The Way You Are That Makes Me (Sigh)

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Audrey Tindall: You're The Next Drew Barry, And I Want More

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Alice Macray: I Pray For Forgiveness You Can't Grant Me.

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Mildred Ratched: I Wanna Be Your Bubblegum Bitch

More on my AO3: TindallsGal

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Wilhemina Venable X Cordelia Goode: I brought you daffodils on a pretty string, but they won't flower like they did last spring.

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