#violence as the problem not sex

[wowbright]

@redheadgleek it's got Ewan McGregor

[ganymedesclock]

Generally speaking, I grew up on a lot of the big shonens (Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, etc.) and have a relationship of fondness with the genre that drives me to frustration with a lot of the weak points many of them exhibit.

Like I can't. not. respect that these series had every reason to get as popular as they did, have many good qualities and iconic characters that linger in people's hearts, while also sighing in frustration at how many of them have "yeah he's a sex pest and all but he's such a funny guy, we won't ask him to change or get better towards women" as a staple character, for example,

[stergeon]

Rating: Explicit (gay sex; girls being yucky)

Fandom: Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Relationship(s): Edelgard von Hresvelg/Byleth Eisner

Words: 14k

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It's been a few months since Byleth and Edelgard reconciled, but there are still a lot of things they're working out: how to be around each other, how to heal, how to trust again. As difficult as it is, Edelgard's trying hard to adhere to boundaries. She knows better than to go to the palace training grounds, where Byleth spends every spare moment of her days. She knows better than to challenge her to a duel, of all things, even if it is just for practice. She knows better than to let herself get carried away by her love, her hurt, and her misery.

So why does she let it happen? And can their fragile relationship survive if she keeps putting it in jeopardy like this?

[papirouge]

the next time a man tells you rape exists because sex is a biological need that can hardly be bent, ask them why women with baby fever aren't out there raping males regardless of their age or consent left and right because of their longing to get impregnated & get a baby is a "biological need" too

[daz4i]

watching rowan ellis's video abt omegaverse makes me want to kill youtube and its censoring rules. this is a perfectly fine educational video but it mentions sexual things so she has to bleep out words, misspell captions, and omit article names or talk around certain topics and that's honestly lowkey (or highkey) fucked up

i don't understand why youtube just doesn't have different rules for videos with adult topics, honestly kind of like the tumblr community labels, where certain advertisers can focus on as well (like ads for alcoholic drinks. all the yaoi app ads I've seen ppl post abt. sex shop sites. stuff like that yknow??) like basically make it like the opposite of youtube kids, and people can choose in the settings whether or not they want to be recommended videos from that section of youtube on their feed or search results

no straight up porn, but like. educational videos such as this one that talk about sexual topics. sex toy reviews or guides. trans healthcare resources that talk about genitals. these are things that SHOULD be easy to find and that the people making them SHOULD be able to receive money for even if their channel isn't big enough to get sponsorship deals yet, and people should be able to read accurate captions for these videos (or at least uncensored captions in the automatically generated ones. on god i hate google for replacing swear words with underlines) i don't understand why this is such a difficult concept to grasp

[icekingofhope]

a small vent post but

I’m I the only one who gets annoyed when someone brings fake teasers or news about stuff like monkie kid season 5 or sonic 3 or those looping fun fact videos or like those annoying ads on YouTube nowadays

like it gets so annoying I can’t even trust anything news related about the said media it just sometimes makes me miss the simpler time in the 2000s and 2010s

yes fandoms and media were still toxic but aleast it didn’t have those annoying loops or fake news hell the ads back then were actually really enjoyable! It just frustrating seeing people just think they can post whatever they want in the internet

Like videos with very gorey situations or sexual undertones in fucking comic dubs (looking at you couger) and most of the comic dubbers are problematic

so are fans in any time of fandom who just hate criticism with a fury any word of said creator media or the fans they release a rage like the person just insulted their entire existence

And don’t get me started on those videos with scary shit like stop scrolling if your a bad person or more

Like can we all just get our heads out of our asses and chill like just relax everyone just watch sometimes nice maybe old gameplays or cat videos or simple as a person just talking about maybe cooking!

anything!

[msfbgraves]

Terry has proved that he’s capable of cheating and of rape towards Daniel. Would Terry ever harm Daniel physically/be capable of domestic violence if he got angry or upset enough…maybe not even at Daniel, but to take out his anger on him like he did with Michael.

Last question: if Daniel knew years before what Terry would one day do to him, would he still want to marry him?

Terry is not a batterer. I think that he got hit, a lot, in "the life", maybe his Daddy threw his weight around sometimes (they had a good marriage, his parents, but Daddy may have thought an Alpha boy should be able to handle some physical punishment, and indeed all the mobsters he started working his way up for could be rough). One of the first things he tells his pups is "we don't hit people we love". Going by how Thomas Ian Griffith uses sex to intimidate when he plays villains more than outright manhandling, I felt it more likely he'd cross a line during sex than by attacking Daniel. Especially since Daniel has quite a lot of self-defense training, but would of course much sooner let his guard down making love. (I think that fight scene in Cobra Kai between them is out of character for him, and more fanservice).

Really if he were the slapping type you would have seen him do it by now in the story.

Also, and this is not meant to be a sympathy thing for Terry, he had a bad time doing it. Fuck you, Terry, of course, but even he didn't like how it made him feel. And Daniel has always known - if he does that again I will kill him. Maybe not during, but very soon after. Were this a normal marriage, it would have ended there.

But it's not, is it?

Had everyone known this for certain, there wouldn't have been a marriage, I can promise you. But now there were five pups involved. That changes things.

Daniel never wanted this marriage, but had you told him in year 2 of being mated he wouldn't have believed you.

Still, I know the trope of a mobster who would hurt anyone BUT you is really hot but I don't buy it. Sonny Corleone was a philanderer. Michael killed his brother, his brother in law and at least once assaulted Kay. Terry Silver we've all seen and even Terry McCain half forced his girlfriend back into a relationship with him by showing up, all 6'6 of volatile strength, and simply moving himself back in.

This marital rape, for me, is Terry Silver's version of what the whole Godfather 3 is about, a mobster crossing their own line. Rare enough as it is.

He won't do that again.

[defyxoblivion]

@themckaytriarchy

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

The Snyderverse was a artistic hollow, emotionally stunted, intellectually shallow era of movies made by and for those who just want things to look badass, cool, and aggressively masculine.

[sabraeal]

would you be willing to elaborate on your tag about Tower of Dawn where you said SJM has a weird hangup about maleness? Because I think I agree but I've been having trouble putting my thoughts on it in order and I'd be very interested in hearing what you think in more detail

I know i specifically mention SJM because I was talking about Tower of Dawn, but quite honestly this is sort of a problem across a lot of the really popular romantasy titles (and lbh, probably originated due to a lot of mainstream romance these authors read over time), and has even started to extend it's spindly fingers into fandom, but there's this specific focus on MALENESS as a monolith. That someone can have a distinct maleness about them. That they can smell of sandalwood and male. That maleness requires having an eight pack and broad shoulders and the BO of a god and also there's some growling too? That a man can crush you in his large hands but that he doesn't because he's restraining his innate maleness -- read: violence-- to keep from harming you.

Which I mean, is a type. It's a kink! It's a fine flavor of romance that is perfectly enjoyable...except when it becomes the ONLY kind of ML. You can't be a ML *without* and eight pack now. Oh you might have been a lean, bookish side character in book one, but you got a love interest in the sequel, and now your veritable Man Paws break all the bindings you hold dear!

And I think that's where the real problem is-- not even that there's a real lack of body diversity in MLs in romantasy/romance, but that even when a previously NOT alpha male side character gets to have his own romance, he must BECOME that physical type. He has to suddenly become possessive and say all the things that sort of ML always says. As if there can't be a love story if the ML doesn't look or act like this. As if there is only a single type of maleness that could possibly be attractive, and it has to be founded in violence and possessiveness and domination.

There's nothing wrong with that as a preference-- whether to read or to write. And I think it's also normal in romance to emphasize the difference between partners' bodies-- if you're attracted to someone, you're gonna notice their large hands, or maybe that they only come up to your shoulder, or maybe that their skin color is a few shade off from yours or more, and be like hehehehehe dat's nice :3. But there's such a focus on describing the dorito body shape, or how ML's sweat catches on his super defined abs, or how his grip is so tight it bruises, or how he lets out his animal howling during sex...that it's sort of become a thing that's default, rather than defined by character.

I think we get real down on FL leads being samey, or having perfect bodies, or not being allowed to have more than the barest bit of personality-- especially when it's in media aimed at men. But we've kind of found our own way to reduce ML down to a single archetype, I think there's a real fear in romance about making flaws that aren't about the inches of his enemy's blood this guys stands in.

[faecaeli]

can not STAND the amount of radfem posts that have show up on my dash "based on my likes" because i've liked posts related to feminism. like what in the world. i should be able to like a quote from bell hooks or a post on reproductive rights and not have this wild and hateful terf shit pop up

[thelostboys87]

the annual urge to redownload sims 4 has hit

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

My problem is I can never remember specific scenes in fiction that might be off-putting for other people if they don't put ME off, so every time I'm about to recommend something to someone I have to spend ten minutes squinting into the past trying to remember if anything particularly harrowing happens.

[selenekallanwriter]

Book: I have a slow-burn enemies-to-lovers romance. And so much tension! Me: Oh, yeah. Gimme! Book: Look at the angst! Me: THE ANGST! Book: Look, now they're kissing. Me: YASSS! FINALLY! Book: And now I'm gonna close the door. Me: What? NO! Book: Yes. It's fade-to-black. I can't go around showing something as scandalous as sex! Me: You literally had a dude disemboweled one chapter ago AND a parricide. With full description! Book: Yes. But sex is just too much. I have to think about my impressionable readers. Me:

[limits-and-derivatives]

Bro that nmacc thing in Mumbai 💀💀 I'd be embarassed to be seen with that man if I was zendaya

[thefictionshelf]

The taboo around telling children about death is so goofy to me. Like you know children can just learn about death the way they learn about anything else. It's doesn't have to be a whole thing. If you didn't go out of your way to hide it from them until well after they learned how to speak then is just wouldn't be an upsetting or scary thing to learn about, even though it's kind of inherently scary and upsetting. Like why do you want to add another hard conversation to have with your child. This is an entirely invented problem. It's so insane to me that people will put off telling their child THAT PEOPLE CAN DIE until after a pet or family member has already died. First-time grief is already so hard what appeals about pairing it with a world-shattering revelation. It's like when parents who only teach their kids abstinence, go "see! I told you it's dangerous for teenagers to learn about sex!" when their child comes home with an STD. No, you're just a dumbass.